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  • File :1224479492.jpg-(1 MB, 1920x1200, WAR_Bloodthirster.jpg)
    1 MB Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:11 No.2839994  
    On December 31st 2012 at close to midnight a lone man armed with a series of firearms, explosives, and an ornate dagger storms Times Square in New York City, blasting his way through a police cordon and attacking the revelers at the New Year's celebration there.

    After a rampage lasting several minutes the gunman is shot in the head by an NYPD sniper. Despite the wound, the gunman begins using the numerous pools of blood nearby to begin drawing out a symbol in the middle of Times Square. The police refrain from firing again. Finally, after drawing a large eight-pointed star symbol, the gunman stabs himself in the heart with the dagger.

    One minute after midnight, January 1st 2013, a Bloodthirster is summoned into Times Square.

    What happens next, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:13 No.2840012
    Who cares, fuck New York
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 10/20/08(Mon)01:14 No.2840013
    Depends. I forget the toughness of a Bloodthirster, but I'm pretty sure the S3 autoguns can't harm it. So they bring in the tanks, and drop battle cannon shots on it. Thus it's up to how long the invuln save lasts.
    >> Shas'O Faiz !!oHNZ1QN/tbk 10/20/08(Mon)01:14 No.2840014
    No clue but I desire to know moar.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:14 No.2840015
    Whoa fuck yes chaos is awesome... oh wait nevermind, I thought you meant he was going to just kill media people. Fuck Khorne!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:15 No.2840017
    OP presents awesome scenario.
    And you shit on it.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:16 No.2840024
    It depends entirely on how many cultists it inspires. If there's a gun show nearby, watch out.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:16 No.2840027
    I assume that it kills things until we nuke it.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:16 No.2840029
    I get my daemonhammer and go to work becoming the most awesome dude in history.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:16 No.2840030
    If you go by fluff, a bloodthirster doesn't have an invulnerable save, but a FUCKING TERMINATOR ARMOUR MADE OF LIVING BRASS.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:17 No.2840037

    Said bloodthirster goes a complete rampage, murdering and slaughtering everyone in it's path until eventually it is brought down by panic-fired nuclear weapons, bringing on nuclear winter across the globe.

    Chaos then begins the real work.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:18 No.2840038
    Times Square is evacuated, then bombed.
    US leads the formation of a world-wide government.
    The other gods start to exert their influence.
    A good 1/3 of the world falls to Slaanesh.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:19 No.2840046
    Would Christianity be popular after this happened? Please tell me, OP.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:19 No.2840047
    Since a Bloodthirster is most likely kept together not because of physics, would blasting its atoms assuredly, without fail, kill it?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:19 No.2840050
    Suddenly, Dick Clark reveals why he's lived so long, and for a brief moment we see the Emperor in all his glory, smiting the Bloodthirster down with a thought.

    Then, before anyone realizes what has happened, the Emperor is Clark again, feigning amazement while altering the memories of any that he feels saw too much.

    Life goes on...
    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 10/20/08(Mon)01:20 No.2840052
    I'd convert to chaos.

    The bloodthirster would get wrecked, but it's presence means there's a chaos cult on my planet. Hopefully chaos undivided, because I'd rather be a nurglite than a khornate.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 10/20/08(Mon)01:21 No.2840057
    Reviewing the stats, we'll assume they summon Anggrath or whatever his name is. He can eat battle cannon shells for breakfast, and is immune to instant death. He has a a save of 2+/4+. We don't have lascannons at the moment, so we need to drop at least 16 nukes (since roughly half will be saved against). Hopefully nukes count as orbital strikes.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:21 No.2840059
    >gun show
    >New York

    >> Juba, The Baghdad Sniper !1EVr3uyPJI 10/20/08(Mon)01:22 No.2840060
    Of course.

    It's obviously a demon of the devil, sent to usher in the apocalypse.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 10/20/08(Mon)01:22 No.2840061
         File :1224480131.jpg-(63 KB, 804x558, Bloodthirster stats.jpg)
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    woops forgot stats
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:22 No.2840064
    The enlisted of the U.S. Army are already dedicated to Slaanesh. The officers are probably more JUST AS PLANNED
    >> Lazyfag 10/20/08(Mon)01:22 No.2840067
    It'd be like after 9-11: surge in church/mass/mosque/synagogue attendance then it'd die down.

    It'd be like Cloverfield....but with a Bloodthirster.

    That said I'd finally get to break out the banners and welcome our new Chaod overlords.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:23 No.2840070
    Doesn't banish it back to Chaos. No good.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:24 No.2840075
    This, remember, the Emperor is among us.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:26 No.2840084
    Ok, we know it would eventually die, either to nukes or some good armor piercing shells.

    How would /tg/ react?

    Say, day after it dies, the imperium shows up.

    Massive fucking war starts.

    Who do you join?
    >> Lazyfag 10/20/08(Mon)01:26 No.2840085
    >That said I'd finally get to break out the banners and welcome our new Chaod overlords.
    >Chaod overlords.

    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 10/20/08(Mon)01:26 No.2840087

    I gather my homies, we jack some barracudas, and live the dream.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:28 No.2840095
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    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:28 No.2840098

    I'm with this guy. I'd totally take a shot at it, it would almost definitely kill you but Khorne might be impressed with your balls and resurrect you as a bloodthrister of some shit. Or, I actually manage to kill it and am elevated to the status of daemon prince. Bitches dig daemon princes.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:29 No.2840101
         File :1224480561.jpg-(36 KB, 336x501, PHE1763.jpg)
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    >1/3 of the world falls to slaanesh


    Whoops you forgot the 80's

    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:32 No.2840122
    We get it, you bought the barracuda from forgeworld and you have an undeserved sense of pride in your lump of resin that you painted a horrid purple, red and blue.

    Stop mentioning it every other post, you're making my cunt split open in anger
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 10/20/08(Mon)01:34 No.2840140

    At what point did I brag about my model? The question posed was "what would you do?" so I gave my answer.

    Would you have preferred the jacking of a Leman Russ or a Marauder Bomber?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:38 No.2840163

    Fuck yeah Neck Kickers gang!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:40 No.2840172
    Well, if the Warp was real, would that mean that humanity's mostly Christian faith would bring the Christian God and Jesus into existence.

    I'm getting a scene of Jesus coming down from heaven and bitch-smacking a bloodthirster. Is this awesome?
    >> Johnny Turbo !ndGJO7HYc2 10/20/08(Mon)01:41 No.2840178
    Grab a sledgehammer, shave my head, and attack it, all the while screaming "For Sigmar!". Followed by most likely a messy death. Less likely a mildly less messy death.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:42 No.2840189
    Maybe, personally I think a stealthsuit would be more fun that a typical fighter.

    But it's always about barracudas with you:

    You never shut up about them- any Tau advice thread and you pop up with:
    'You should really run a barracuda and some remora drone fighters with your list' (Are they even legal in tournaments?)

    It seems asinine that you feel the need to bring it up all the time. It's like some kind of resin penis waving contest with you.

    I mean you make some pretty good contributions but this constant toting has been irking me lately.

    Also good luck jacking tau vehicles that are neurally connected to the air/fire caste pilot.
    >> The Grey Knights 10/20/08(Mon)01:42 No.2840190
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    We're in, but only because our Land Raider is out of gas and we can't really let the thing go.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:43 No.2840197
    I tell you what happens LARPS OMZFG dressed in supposedly "Power armor" and "a Nemesis Force Weapon" charge in and die.. Enjoy
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:44 No.2840199

    For fuck's sake, I hope its the Jesus of the Christians I've met, and not the Christians of the fevered sort you read about on the news.

    Actually, a Jesus would probably just be a Greater Daemon of Christianity, and you might encounter Liberal Jew Jesus, Zombie Jesus, Republican Jesus, and Jihad Jesus all in the same character party.
    >> The Grey Knights 10/20/08(Mon)01:45 No.2840202

    Thought a Shas'O was a ranking Fire Caste officer in your crazy xenox-perveted corner of the universe? Wouldn't it just command the lesser xenos to do its bidding?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:46 No.2840211
    Christianity: Severely Divided?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:46 No.2840216

    All clerics? That's a fucking 3.5 party and we're obviously playing 4.0.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:48 No.2840225
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    The SAS take it down.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:48 No.2840226
    Hahahahaha I just had a thought

    Christianity Undivided
    >> The Grey Knights 10/20/08(Mon)01:49 No.2840232
         File :1224481747.jpg-(27 KB, 500x347, img023.jpg)
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    Hey. Hey. Hey.


    We ARE the Grey Knights, you giant cunt. Don't make me halberd your face.
    >> Salamanders Fanboi !!3huhktkKj6R 10/20/08(Mon)01:49 No.2840233
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 10/20/08(Mon)01:49 No.2840234
         File :1224481773.jpg-(70 KB, 320x240, South park jesus.jpg)
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    Come on, South Park Jesus!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:49 No.2840236
    Abrahamism Undivided

    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:49 No.2840240
    oh lawds, I didn't even realize that was 4.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:50 No.2840241
         File :1224481813.gif-(5 KB, 80x80, IronWarriors.gif)
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    Oh U
    >> The Grey Knights 10/20/08(Mon)01:50 No.2840243
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    Hiveminds? HERESY.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:50 No.2840246
    That- wasn't really my point...

    I mean yeah you're right a shas'O would do that, but he'd be in a battlesuit not a barracuda, and I was just saying that out of all the tau 'vehicles' I think their stealthsuits would be the funnest things to hijack, they remind me of phantom crash.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:51 No.2840252
    It might be tyranids talking through us...
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:52 No.2840262
    same but i go after my chaos worshipping friends.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:52 No.2840264

    You would rather have a stealthsuit than a fucking Broadside? Who needs stealth when I can fire a paper clip at hypersonic speeds with my railguns?!
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 10/20/08(Mon)01:53 No.2840266
    I'm just in it to kick ass, look good, and grab the best stuff before it's gone.
    >> The Grey Knights 10/20/08(Mon)01:57 No.2840300

    Long as I get dibs on first shot at Mister Big, Bad and Blood for the Blood God.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:57 No.2840308
    I would carve a similar symbol into my own forehead and take the sharpest/bluntest/most convenient object available as a weapon and join in the fracas. or try to kill the damn thing.
    and secondly......


    how you supposed to do cocaine without that straw up yo nose bitch?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:58 No.2840311
    So what else could be the random situation that is like this moar Khornate stuff? or a Portal Opening and sending some CSMs our way? Would that be fun?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)01:59 No.2840324
    A shame there hasn't been a LaTD codex and they removed the cultists in the new CSM codex. I'd fucking turn over to Chaos so fucking quick, but I don't think they let you in with a Guardsman's statline, fucking elitist MEQs.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:02 No.2840342
    If a daemon manifests, I'll get down on my knees and worship Chaos. No fucking questions asked.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:04 No.2840358

    Better hope that it's a fucking Nurgle daemon so you don't get killed, raped or JUST AS PLANNED before they realize you're worshiping them... although you might get hugged to death...
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:06 No.2840371
         File :1224482802.jpg-(262 KB, 1496x1168, Tzeentch-Nurgle-Slaanesh-Khron(...).jpg)
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    Well everyone wants ethernal life so.. .Lets all go for a Nurgle Daemon to be summoned...
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:08 No.2840383
    If demons exist, either God or the God Emperor is bound to exist. I get my ass to a church, dip a shotgun barrel in holy water, ask the priest to bless a backpack full of slugs, and get to doing the Lord's sweet work.

    And this is from an Atheist.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:09 No.2840399

    No shit, how many atheists do you think are going to sit back and refuse to believe when religion just starts to get awesome? If Church was like fucking Constantine, then I'd be in there 12 hours a day.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:09 No.2840402


    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:13 No.2840419
    This is awesome right now... Grim Darkness in the future not so far from your reach..
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:19 No.2840463

    >Suddenly, Stephen Colbert reveals

    Fixed it for you.
    >> Hyperion !!LtgOgT0wJFN 10/20/08(Mon)02:19 No.2840468
    Shit, I'd become a priest and start smiting heretics.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:21 No.2840475
    First question is: How many Snipers are there?
    If there are enough of them they could shoot the crap out of that him before he can do to much damage.
    Wounds on 4+ and on a 6 it's ap 2, leaving the Bloodthirster with only his 4+ invuln.

    I think if there were at least 20 of them, and they weren't using GW dice, they could do it.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:22 No.2840480
    Jetpackan gaems, sirrah
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:22 No.2840481

    With a shotgun in both hands I would scream out this:

    "Then you call upon the name of your god, and I will call upon the name of the LORD. The god who answers by fire- he is God!"

    The Bible is actually surprisingly good readings.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:26 No.2840506

    Over the next twelve hours, reports begin to stream in from across the globe.

    A sex cult launches an all-out assault on Tokyo.

    A mysterious plague begins to ravage all of western Europe.

    Mysterious storms strike the majority of mainland Asia. Those that emerge from the downpour emerge Changed.

    World leaders across the globe submit themselves before their individual Dark Gods.

    The world is thrown into Chaos.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:27 No.2840513
    So when does the Saviour of Terra come?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:27 No.2840515
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:30 No.2840531
    I would immediately pray to The Emperor. A week later, drop pods would rain from the sky and we would enter a glorious age as a revered part of the Imperium due to our planet's odd similarity to Terra.
    >> Like John Ringo's Ghost 10/20/08(Mon)02:32 No.2840539

    The liberal police cower in fear except for the odd stalwart exception dying horribly clutching a .38 and an American flag and screaming NOT ON MY WATCH.

    The military fails horribly when the politicians can't make the Hard Decisions. Liberal, queer, suspiciously Arabic and Jewish troops cry and piss themselves while staunch Bush-loving heroes actually fight. Said heroes die horribly clutching their puny Mattel Toy Rifles and American flags.

    Some liberal cowards redeem themselves by dying horribly after a hero spouts incoherent Republical probaganda at them for three pages.

    Ultraconservative heroes shoot Bloodthirster repeatedly in the head with Manly Rifles that for some reason hurt the daemon really bad.

    Finally said heroes make the Tough Call and blow up the daemon along with several thousand poor people, but poor people aren't really human anyway so they don't count.

    There is some really creepy Gor-style pedophilia, but that's OK because of... AMERICA I guess. Oh, and kiddyfucker Marty Stu doesn't fall to Slaanesh because as long as it's het it's awwright, or something.

    Tzeentch and Nurgle are conspicuously absent because they'r too complex for John-boy's syphilitic excuse for a brain to fathom.

    Baen Books profit.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:34 No.2840546
         File :1224484484.jpg-(58 KB, 580x350, thunder-trailers.jpg)
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    >with a shotgun in both hands I would scream out:

    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:35 No.2840551
    After a disturbance in Toronto involving some scruffy looking fellow throwing lightning and knives at partygoers downtown, the army is called in, and the psyker struck down before too much damage can be done. News crews make note of the odd double-headed eagle that has been sprayed upon all the vehicles.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:36 No.2840556

    >> Like John Ringo's Ghost 10/20/08(Mon)02:36 No.2840560

    It's just too much easier to just wipe us and set up a population of museum Earthers.

    Like one of those Christfag "haunted houses" except planetsize.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:37 No.2840561
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:37 No.2840563
    Fucking christ man, is the concept of irony just a little too much for you? Or are you a countertroll?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:37 No.2840564
    I retreat into hiding. Slowly, I begin to gather a network of contacts and allies.
    And then, one by one, I burn my enemies.

    His Majesty's holy Inquisition is formed.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:38 No.2840567
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:39 No.2840570
    (note: this plan continues regardless of whether the bloodthirster is killed or not.)
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:39 No.2840571
    Nothing. The Bloodthirster is disappointed by the lack of resistance and goes home muttering about groceries and paychecks but not before giving Madison Square Garden the finger.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:40 No.2840576
    They'd just turn earth into a shrine world and flood us with missionaries. In three generations the whole population would be Ecclesiarchy types.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:40 No.2840580
    A man carrying a chainsaw like sword was reported to be "Smiting Heretics" in a church in southern Russia

    Local Militia was unable to stop the man. Other reports say the man was saying that a golden figure will come from the sky
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:40 No.2840583
    Meanwhile, revelers in Australia pummel a bloodthirster to death with drunken glee. Behold, the fathers of Catachan.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:41 No.2840587
    The Bloodthirster would probably take a look around, ask for directions, and disappear back into the warp rift.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:41 No.2840588
         File :1224484906.gif-(513 KB, 550x400, CATACHAAAAAAAANS.gif)
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    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:42 No.2840591
    Can he take some corporate scum with him at least?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:42 No.2840592
    Stiff upper-lip soldiers in the UK defeat Chaos cultists in their dress uniforms. Budget cuts force them all to wear pith helmets.
    >> Like John Ringo's Ghost 10/20/08(Mon)02:45 No.2840596


    Never don't genocide when genocide will do.

    It's just a few billion anyway, most of them underfed.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:45 No.2840602
    Let's here more about this.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:45 No.2840603

    What would you have him do?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:46 No.2840610
    Depart from here and return to T'au.
    >> Like J... GTFO MY NAMELINE 10/20/08(Mon)02:47 No.2840618

    I think he hasn't read one of Johnny-boy's books. Or even worse, that he enjoyed them.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:48 No.2840619
    Israeli and Palestinian civilians take to the streets as brothers to purge the Holy Land of heretic scum. The Saudi royal family falls to the lures of Slaanesh. ANYONE UP FOR SUM DELICIOUS CRUSADES?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:49 No.2840627

    I think you're the one that needs to go, what with your preserving plausibly heretical mold on a perfectly good Shrine World.


    "...Abbess, do you _have_ to burn people when I'm talking to them?"
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:51 No.2840638
    I just want to see that the Bloodthirster leaves Earth on good terms. He gets some toys, and humanity loses a few hundred scumbags who would trample the helpless and the weak for some scant profit(this may appeal to Khorne's honourable side).
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:52 No.2840640
    Oh yeah, standard procedure when the Imperium encounters ignorant, un-mutated humans is to kill them all and not, you know, convert them.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:52 No.2840641
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    God this thread is so awesome

    Also guardsmen
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:52 No.2840643
    I immediately hijack a plane to Egypt.

    Upon arriving there, I immediately head for Giza and hijack any heavy dirt moving equipment I can find. Then I start digging.

    About a day later as America is turned into a bloodbath, I hit metal. I invoke a prayer to the true machine god and awaken the tomb's inhabitants
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:53 No.2840646

    That's not how the Stargate worked!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:54 No.2840653
    Fuck, the Imperium even sends Ecclesiarchs to mutant settlements on human worlds in a non-burning capacity.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:54 No.2840654

    Khorne DOES work that way actually.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:55 No.2840658
    I don my greatcoat and peaked cap, borrow my roommate's sword(she'd probably use a crowbar anyways), and I'd go forth to slay the enemies of mankind.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:55 No.2840660

    Your roomate is a female Gordan Freeman?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:56 No.2840663
    Shortly after, your e-bay blade would shatter and a hideous gribbly would consume your soul. game over. Insert a coin.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:57 No.2840671

    Uh, no, it's a katana you douche. He can even cut steel slabs with his katana.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:57 No.2840672
    I imagine she'd be able to do something like that. What do /tg/, /k/, and /x/ look like as this goes down?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:57 No.2840673

    Ignorant enough to summon major daemons onto what will be a seriously holy shrine world.

    Yeah, that's right.

    Better start over.
    >> WORDS !!dzYvb+l4JG7 10/20/08(Mon)02:58 No.2840682
    Go'dan Freh'mon, Tau Earth Caste scientist with a knack for surviving.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:59 No.2840683
    Fine, I swap out the sword for a cast iron frying pan, at least until I can get a gun of some kind.
    >> Random Death Star-Sized Sapient Disco Ball of Tzeentch !4T1uHiOuyE 10/20/08(Mon)02:59 No.2840685
    >female Gordon Freeman

    In b4 hundreds of fa/tg/uys asking for contact info.

    In any case, I'd probably be nice and cosy in the shelter the Architect of Fate told my ancestors to build centuries earlier.

    Or I won't care, considering that I'd have been reduced to a tentacled monstrosity fit only for doing Tzeentch's bidding/a Japanese acting career/all of the above.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)02:59 No.2840686
    We'd be squealing like little girls, /k/ would be drawing up schematics for bolters, and /x/ would be completely filled with pictures of 8 sided stars and nothing else.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:00 No.2840688
    It's not like there's some kind of, I don't know, Inquisition? Something that serves to root out heresy and destroy it. Something like that would be cool.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:00 No.2840693
    *eight pointed stars, whoops
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:02 No.2840708
    /tg/ would barge into /k/'s room at grab his guns only to find /k/ has already left with said guns. /tg/ instead improvises and grabs whatever happens to be on hand.

    /x/ cries.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:02 No.2840710
    Could we prod /k/ into making bolters and chainswords for us? Also, how does 420chan react? And Scientology for that matter? Does David Miscavige blame the bloodthirster on psychiatry, and then get ripped apart by Tom Cruise, Flamboyant Daemonhost?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:02 No.2840713
    I just realized how awesome your idea is
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:02 No.2840715
    A Keeper of Secrets appears in Vatican city, drawn by the deeds of the less savor priests. it and the lesser daemons drawn with it ramapage before being cut down the halberds of the Swiss Guard and the Keeper banished by the Pope himself.

    The Middle East runs red with blood and oil as Khornes chosen rise admist the violence and chaos. Despite their being close to the violence, the Daemons seem unable to enter the holy cities without being cut down with abnormal ease, much like in the Vatican.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:04 No.2840719
    420chan doesn't react until long after it's over, with a muted 'wait, what?'.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:05 No.2840724
    I'll have your babies if you provide me with that awesome game. After searching the entire internet I've only been able to find a mac demo version of that. Seriously I'll greatly appreciate a link.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:06 No.2840726
    Slaaneshi daemons appear at the residences of 420chan members.

    A week later, it's discovered taht both human and daemon are spending their whole time staring blankly into space pondering the universe.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:06 No.2840732
    I grab a hammer, put an Aquila on the striking face and start chanting the Rite of Abrogation Against the Warp. Of course, that's after the Bloodthirster is done in New York. I'm a Bostonian, fuck New York.

    What is this from? It sounds familiar and ironically win.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:08 No.2840740
    >the Keeper banished by the Pope himself.

    Goddamn that's bad ass.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:09 No.2840744
    Kirt proceeds to have his devotees execute the daemons and cultists that they have incapacitated with beautiful beautiful drugs. Say hello to the beginnings of the Ordos Malleus.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:10 No.2840753
    His whole chan is riddled with the taint. It's a coven of slaaneshi witches.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:11 No.2840759

    Those unaffected by the global uprisings huddle in their homes, listening in stunned silence as reports from major cities across the globe slowly trickle to a halt.

    Suicide rates experience a wholly unprecedented rise as a full percent of the Earth's population pursues their own ends.

    As New Year's Day ends, night seems to fall across the entire planet...

    January 2nd opens with the survivors shocked yet again as newscasters apologize for the previous day's "advertisement". As viewers begin to slowly realize the truth of what has occurred, Tom Kirby globally announces the official release of Games Workshop's newest line of miniatures and novels: Warhammer Modern.

    A few moments of silence ensue.

    Then the Rage begins.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:12 No.2840760
    Just as planned.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:14 No.2840769
    And this is why I like being Catholic. FUCK YES, BATTLE-POPE!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:16 No.2840779

    Every book by John Ringo ever.

    ...well, not really. Post-2001 he turned mostly to writing Marty Stu adolescent revenge fantasies. Oddly, he continued his space fightan books but played up the Dolchstossing space Jews angle.

    I wonder how many doubleposts I just made. Let's see if deleting works.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:19 No.2840790
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:19 No.2840794
    This thread started sucking now... moar news kthx :3
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:19 No.2840796

    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:21 No.2840813
    Florida is overwhelmed by two factions of mutants. One are cunning alligators, the other are brutal crocodiles.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:21 No.2840815
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:22 No.2840822
    Samuel L. Jackson is seen in yellow and red armour, ripping apart hellspawn and thugs while screaming in a blind rage. Stephen Colbert reveals himself to be an Inquisitor Lord with bitchin' psyker powers(which he uses to save a puppy), and Larry Horowitz gives out meatsticks FOR THE EMPRAH!!!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:23 No.2840828
         File :1224487407.png-(807 KB, 1719x2000, Ghost Ride, Leman Russ.png)
    807 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:23 No.2840830
    Is dat sum Angry Mehreen Primarch
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:26 No.2840849
    What happens in the year that follows?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:27 No.2840857
    Then Tzneetch plays his hand: GW has been preparing the world for the coming of the Chaos gods- both to resist and invite them on in. His Daemons walk the streets in colleage towns, drawn the centers of learning.

    Conflict with Daemons of Slaanesh is inveitable.

    Those who studied the Occult and the witnesses to strange phenomena become Sorcerers and Psykers. Neither group knows what they are trying to learn and thus the incautious die to with their new found power.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:33 No.2840889
    A few years after the horrendous occourence around the world Military powers started developing powered armor and weapons that hold greater than .70 caliber rounds

    First attempts to make powered armor and greater than .70 caliber hand held rifles were hindered by the lack of materials but prototypes were made and actually worked.

    In a matter of months more creatures similar to what appeared in New York's Time Square only a matter a fact, they are smaller and rather quick.

    In a few years the military developed better armor to excel in military prowess and strength....
    Okay my writefaggotry is fail right now someone do it better than me...
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:37 No.2840912
    Sadly I have to say 'prove it', because shitty new Chaos fluff is shitty and new Chaos fluff. In both Fantasy and 40k.

    Which makes me shocked people don't hate daemons of chaos more.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:38 No.2840920
         File :1224488324.jpg-(67 KB, 850x719, 1_free_internet.jpg)
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    Fuck yeah /tg/. I wake up and this is the first thread I see. Internets for all!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:43 No.2840948
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:44 No.2840956
    Can't believe I forgot them but...

    Travellers in tropical areas suddenly begin vanishing. There are increased reports of birth mutations and defects. Finally there are a sudden spate of ghost sightings worldwide.

    Then without warning a trillion bugs land on us.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:48 No.2840976
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:50 No.2840982
    Warp being real =/= Emperor being real.

    Warp being real = what crazy motherfuckers believe becoming real.

    That being said. I would become Christian really fucking quick.

    Imagine Christian Grey Knights... But w/o the gay.

    "Ah, the Order of the Hammer is here to banish this Demon back to its foul birthing place!"

    "For God!"

    And if that failed. Slaaneshi. C C C COCAINE!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:54 No.2841015

    What, I thought Grey Knights were too repressed to even know if they're gay or straight. Textev plox.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:55 No.2841020
    You didn't see /tg/'s Emprah-worship threads, obviously. The Emprah would come and curbstomp Chaos.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:56 No.2841025

    You misread me.

    Gay Christian Grey Knight = Bibleman.

    Cool Christian Grey Knight = I dunno... If I thought hard enough I could most likely pull out an answer.

    Google up bibleman though.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)03:57 No.2841035
    Dude. Fuck New York.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:00 No.2841058
    What came of those?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:03 No.2841069
    What came of those threads?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:06 No.2841089
    Plague Marines are the closest to Christian holy warriors around in 40k, at least if you interpret in the lens of Jesus sincerely wanting to help and love each and every child of God upon this Earth, Hell being locked only from the inside, the meek shall inherit the Earth, God loves the poor, the oppressed, and the downtrodden, etc.

    Whereas things like Grey Knights are more like psychotic "glory to the rich, eternal war, all unbelievers shall be dropped into eternal torture tiem" types, violently opposed to concepts of forgiveness and redemption, etc.

    Everything utterly antithetical to Christianity that is done in Christ's name in the history of mankind has a representation in the Imperium, but the reverse does not hold true.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:09 No.2841103
    We had someone saying they'd start work on our Holy Book I think. I don't think anything actually come from it though. Which is a shame. I want to go door-knocking Jehovah's Witnesses.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:09 No.2841106
    Someone left New York with a wide asshole...
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:16 No.2841149
    this shit archived yet? It probably should be.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:24 No.2841170
    We can handle nids. We can lay down enough Pie plates to take them.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:28 No.2841185

    Ah, you meant faggotry. Well, can't argue there, at least not as far as the first GK novel is concerned.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:32 No.2841200
    The warp suddenly goes out of control, and people's beliefs and thoughts are made reality...

    Suddenly, a fire truck the Bloodthirster is attempting to destroy morphs into Optimus Prime and he twists the things fucking head off.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:43 No.2841243
    While this is all happening millions of spores drop down from the stratosphere, quickly growing into thousands of orcs and tyranids.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:45 No.2841249
    Oh god...

    Chuck will come into his power, and by the nature of the warp make every fact a fact! Vin Diesel, Mr.T and others will also ascend to godhood.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:49 No.2841267
    Fuck. I want to restart the /tg/ Lectitio.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:54 No.2841283
    Well get to it anon. This is /tg/ get your shit done.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:55 No.2841291
    Pray tell, what is it?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)04:58 No.2841299
    A while ago there were a couple of threads where we started laying down the foundations for some Emprah-worship. A /tg/ religion. Of course, /tg/ can only get so much done and it disappeared.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)08:20 No.2842147
    Submit to Tzeentch will, knowing that whatever happens is JUST AS PLANNED!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)08:27 No.2842181
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)08:48 No.2842255

    A Tzeentchian greater daemon teaching doctorate level and above mathematics at my uni. A greatly helpful fellow. He spends most of his day pondering elegant equations and going to lunch with his students where they debate the finer points of theoretical mathematics.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)13:04 No.2843242
    Invite Slaaneshi deamons to be your entourage. Go to college block party. Profit.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)13:08 No.2843256

    They're still up on archive, though.


    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)13:09 No.2843259
    >that mean that humanity's mostly Christian faith
    >mostly Christian

    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)13:18 No.2843275
    Schola Progmentum, Guard Officers have it easy when their position isn't overrun.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)13:21 No.2843280
    I had a Deep One as my Maintenance Officer on the Vinson. SCARY fucker, but we got along well enough.

    Whole nine yards, peeling skin, faint fishy smell, brilliant tactical mind, buggy eyes, receding chin. Almost stabbed him once in port when he grabbed my shoulder from behind, near an alley behind the bar I went to in Perth. Heh.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)13:21 No.2843281
         File :1224523282.png-(228 KB, 800x514, 800px-Worldwide_percentage_of_(...).png)
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    Seconded. 33% does not a majority make.

    However, if you group them into their 'god' groups (The Islamic, Jewish and Christian gods are all technically the same guy(s) ) then the breakdown is more:

    "Abrahamic": 53.5%, "Indian": 19.7%, irreligious: 14.3%, "Far Eastern": 6.5%, tribal religions: 4.0%, new religious movements: 2.0%.

    I guess you could argue THAT majority - however you have to remember that the Chaos gods were spawned from the combined emotions of ALL the sentient races in the 40k universe, spread across millions of worlds. Ours is just one world from one race, and a relatively low populace world in the 40k universe at that.

    We are 14% Necoho though.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)13:23 No.2843290
    Which shows that everyone should be a christian since they are a majority, and the majority is always right.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)13:25 No.2843295
    Your trolling is weak, just shut up.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)13:28 No.2843305

    Aside from your trolling being weak; you also completely contradict the fact that the Christians AREN'T the majority. Being the largest pie piece ISN'T being the majority. Being over 50% is being the majority. (Insert generic inflammatory comment about religious types and fact ignoring here)
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)13:31 No.2843311
    Yeah, Christianity is just barely still ahead of Islam.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)13:31 No.2843312
    If enough of us really, truly hate religion, does that give us Necoho or Malal?

    I'd much prefer Malal.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/08(Mon)13:33 No.2843316
    Christians are a plurality.

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