with his bear hands

d'aaawww he thinks he's people

This picture always makes me lol, then I get sad because he looks so lonely.

HOLY SHIT THAT WELL IS TINY

No druid, you are the bears.

Then druid gained the natural spell feat.

>>2821925
I hate the picture of the bear's birthday party, and no one showed up to celebrate with him

I WOULD GO TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR A BEAR

ALL BEAR WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE

I wish I saved the copypasta that went with this. It was funny, almost.

>>2821939
Its a fire pit.

>>2822013

No it fucking isn't god damn, I was in the scouts, and that is NOT a fire pit.

>>2822040
It's totally a fire pit, Scout Master.

HELLO THAR.

>>2822051
Upgraded my pic.

>>2822089
oh fuck

>>2822089
I feel so bad for laughing at this, but it's been the second best part of my morning(after finding out the RedSox won last night)

It's not a fething fire pit.

>>2822055

IS THAT A SINGLE TEAR FLOWING FROM HIS LEFT EYE

I use my sword to detect good on the fire pit.

rolled 10 = 10

>>2822055

OH SHIT. THAT FUZZY THING'S LOOKING AT ME!

[makes a bear lore check]

Its clearly a ruin of a lost civilization.

>>2822131
Yes.

And now the right eye too.

>>2822147

You failed your Bear Lore check

>>2822154
The bear being the lone gaurdian of its vast riches?

>>2822147
Bears a mystical beasts that live in the wild places of the world. They can be ferocious creatures, but a gift of it's preferred food, raw meat, can sate it's savage hunger. Bears give birth in the winter, to misshapen young who must be licked into shape before spring.

Bear society has no visibly ordained clergy.

rolled 12 = 12

>>2822166

OH GOD. IT'S SOME SORT OF FUZZY ABOMINATION! WHAT DO WE DO? DOES IT EAT FLESH? DOES IT LIVE IN A FOREST? IF IT DOESN'T LIVE THERE, DOES IT AT LEAST GO TO THE TOILET IN IT? WHAT DO WE DO!?

>>2822183
See
>>2822176

I don't allow my players to re-roll knowledge checks.

>>2822176
>Bear society has no visibly ordained clergy.
I personally know this to be false. I have been mauled by the Bear Pope himself.

>>2822189

That was me making panic save.

Actually no. That was me forgetting that I'd left that in the e-mail box and being too lazy to delete and re-write my post.

But let's go with Panic Test's or something. It sounds better.

>>2822176

>Bear society has no visibly ordained clergy.

Religion is not possible with the beary mindset and culture.

Religion is forbidden.

IT IS BEAR LAW.

>>2822207
Oh, okay then. But in the future declare your rolls first. I hate it when someone at the table rolls dice all night and then decides he wants to do something once a twenty comes up.

>>2822210
Bear wizards are acceptable.

>>2822193

What, the actual Bear Pope? Or just a Bear Cardinal. How big was his hat? Was it huge? Or hilariously huge?

>>2822193

>the Bear Pope himself

IS BEAR POPE GONNA HAVE TA MAUL A BITCH

>>2822193
>>2822228
Everybody knows that bears are protestant.

>>2822240
North American bears, maybe.

BEAR POPE!

>>2822228
So big, it blotted out the sun.

He had to maul me in the shade.

>>2822244

No. We are not turning this into a historical debate about the Holy Bear Wars of 1910 to 1932. There's just too much raw emotional feeling on both sides about it to have a rational discussion.

Bully, /tg! I heard that you had some bears that needed killed. Could you be so kind as direct me to them?

Bully!

/r/ Bear Wars campaign setting

>>2822268
FUCK YOU, GRIZZLYLOVER

>>2822268
Agreed, there is no debate. It is clear that the bear catholics are false in their teachings and venerate false bear idols in their gaudy cave-cathedrals.

>>2822301

NO. FUCK YOU POLARPUSSY!

>>2822301
DAMN CRACKA ASS POLARBEARS, KEEPING DA BLACKBEARS DOWN. IM GLAD FOR GLOBAL WARMING. DROWN YOU MOTHERFUCKING HONKIE.

>>2822331

You see? This is why I didn't want to talk about it. It just ends in swearing and insults, and sooner or later someone's going to mention the Grizzly Massacre of Montreal and then the shit's going to really hit the fan.

>>2822352
The Massacre was totally justified. Those grizzly fuckers attacked first, they had it coming.

>>2822361
The Polars took it waaaay too far though. No one should ever need to kill so many in one day.

>>2822361
/tg/ - intolerance and bigotry

>>2822377
I think that goes for most of 4chan.

Did someone just mention the Grizzly Massacre of Montreal?! I lost my whole family then to the Polar Republican Army. Motherfuckers used beehive bombs on women and children.

>>2822394
If you didn't want the shit bombed out of you then you fuckers shouldn't have burned the Polar Embassy down.

>>2822394

Don't you mean Den Mothers and Cubs?

>>2822394
Pure Propaganda. The Grizzlies shelled their own positions to prevent the Polar Army from gaining any useful ground, and then blamed the mass casualties on the other side.

>>2822402
At least the embassy had been evacuated! There were no polar casualties on that day.

>>2822410

Oh lordy. Not another Holocaust Denier.

Epic Bear Thread is Epic and Ursine

>>2822410
>I BELIEVE IN WHATEVER BULLSHIT CONSPIRACY THEORIES WILL JUSTIFY POLARIST ATROCITIES
fix'd

>>2822394

They ate what they killed. They respect nature, man.

I want to play an awakened bear druid that can wild shape into a human.

>>2822430
Are you referring to the Grizzly Massacre of Montreal or to the Great Koala Purge?

>>2822449
The Koala has no place in the United Nations. It's not even a real bear.

>>2822449
Shut the fuck up. Koalas aren't real bears. They are a cancer unto the wild that must be destroyed.

>>2822449

The Great Koala purge never happened. Koalas always just lived in Australia. We didnt send them there as prisoners. GOT IT!?

>>2822449
The Massacre at Montreal. I'll admit that the Koala purge was pretty dickish. But it's not like those guys weren't asking for it, you don't go and celebrate out in the street when 10,000 Grizzlies die in a single terrorist act.

I mean, what did they think was going to happen?

The Koalas were given fabulous prizes.

>>2822484
Such as prison rape.

Bear rights activists have worked for years to eliminate koala discrimination, and this is what they get? For shame.

I want to run an Albedo campaign using this as the fluff.

>>2822508
Its not discrimination if its all true

If we all work together, we can achieve great things.

(how was this not posted yet?)

>>2822543

>>2822543
or this?

half breed.

>>2822580

I don't think so, Tim.

>>2822580

OH SHIT SON

>>2822587
>>2822468

haha, because theyd both be considered bears. woah.

All of you are forgetting the plunder and genocide of the Pandas that took place under joint Grizzly and Polar occupation. Their numbers never recovered. When will the international community recognize the atrocities committed by bears, against bears, that have so long been swept under the rug?

I can bearly believe this thread turned out the way it did. This is unbearable.

>>2822609
You'll have to bear with us for a minute.

Werewolves: Nature's Bears.

>>2822633
Man, shouldn't that be the other way around?

>>2822633
Aren't.. bears.. nature's bears?

>>2822651
gonna need a lore check on that

>>2822651
No. Bears are much better than that.

>>2822651
Looks like someone failed his bear lore check.

In d10, its an intelligence + occult (bears) roll.

Critical Failure: what the fuck is that
Failure: Bears are natures bears
Success: Werewolves are nature's bears.
Exceptional Success: Bears are an ancient and proud warrior race

rolled 9 = 9

>>2822670

>>2822687
And now... you know the truth.

>>2822462
>>2822464
NOT A REAL BEAR MIND

Thread archived at: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/2821925/ for epic win and god.

Polar, Grizzly, Black! We need to put aside our differances and petty infighting. A much dire threat looms upon North America. The threat of the Panda bear. You may think that they are harmless and that their numbers are dwindling, but this couldn't be further from the truth. As I type they are secretly working in the most inacessable reigions of China, breeding legions and forging weapons of untold destruction. They are industrious, working with out end for their false tyrants, the Red Panda, and are willing to sacrifice themselves at their whim.
But we will prevail! We are stronger, larger, and smarter than the average bear! Separate we are nothing but together we are an unstoppable force upon this Earth. The Panda's will surly try to attack but they will meet a force of unparalleled resolve. We will give them nothing. They will have to fight for every scrap of this great continent. Every tree. Every ice flow. Every picnic table. Our ancestors came to America for the freedom to hunt salmon and the right to keep the nuts and berries of his toil. And by god we are going to keep it that way.

rolled 10 = 10

Bear lore check

>>2822830
Please. Don't tell me you still cling to that old myth. Let me spell it out for you:

PANDA BEARS DO NOT EXIST

They never have. They were made up by the ancient Bear Popes so that no one would question their rule.

>>2822830
>But we will prevail! We are stronger, larger, and smarter than the average bear!

Oh god. Lolling so much at that.

Fucking koalas. My brother was killed by a dropbear.

>>2822830
You know, I've read that Grizzlies are now ranging further north because of the warming temperatures and Polar Bears are sometimes breeding with them.

That's right. Pizzlies. Pray for a quick death.

>>2822935
Dropbears have never been proven! Come with me sir...

>>2821948

This thread is off of front page? Unbearable!

>>2822958
The hell I will! I see that soulless glint in your eyes! You're one of them! Get back! Get back, damn you!

>>2822860
You naive son. I too once thought Panda bears were a myth. When I was a young lad, I volunteered as a deck paw on a merchant vessel out searching for trade opportunities across the pacific. I heard from several esteemed European Brown Bears that these oriental lands had the most exotic fish and berries ever seen. I gladly joined up with dreams of riches. Three months passed and we landed on the Islands of Japan. Splendid goods were seen such as a type of brew made from a special leaf. But to no avail were the Japanese willing to trade. But one sailor told of rumors he picked up on the street that told of a massive civilization to the west of bears that, although savage, possessed great wealth of the metal honey. In our greed, we decided to sail to this land. We knew of the rumors of Pandas, told by our parents and clergy to us all in den and church. I always took them to be fairy tales to keep children and simpletons in line so we paid no head to them.

>>2823003
Our ship made landfall three days later, and when we got out, we saw a perplexing creature not to far off into the jungle. It was just sitting there, eating bamboo shoots as the Koalas of Australia would eat eucalyptus in intoxicated stoop. But these beasts were the size of a Grizzly. Their color was also most peculiar. They were White with half of their bodies covered in large black spots. The ship professor, Ursala Brownpaw, postulated that these may be a crossbreed between the Polar and Black races and so took great interest in these monsters. The expedition went further inland, but no civilization was to be scene. It was then decided upon that I and professor were to go up a nearby mountain in an attempt to survey the land and look for any glimpse of settlement. We thought it would be an arduous task but to our avail there existed the faintest remains of a cleared path up to the summit.

>>2823087
Half way up, I made a startling discovery. We were Taking shelter in a cave when during the night, I spotted a glint on the far corner from the faint campfire. I went to investigate this, finding what appeared to be a golden figurine in the shape of a bee. Fiddling with it, the head fell off, spilling an ooze onto the floor. With a lick of my paw, my tongue told me without a splinter of doubt that this was honey. I began to jump in Ecstasy with this finding, only to trip on a large rock. My tumble dislodged the monolith and to my surprise, the rock was covering a secret passage filled with similar figurines and treasures. I woke Brownpaw and he showed as much satisfaction as I did.

>>2823123
As we rummaged through the treasures, I thought I heard the sound of rocks shuffling outside but thought nothing dire of this. We were soon interrupted by a loud roar. As we turned from our excavation, we saw a beast not unlike the ones we saw near the shore standing in the far end of the cave. Luckily the beast was not blocking the path. In the heat of the moment we threw the treasure sacks off to the corner, to which the beast traced with his gaze. This gave us a split second for a head start towards the exact. The cyclopean horror gave chase and attempted to maw the professor as he was closest. I saw what the beast was attempting and so pulled Brownpaw behind me, bringing the foul mulatto paw down on me, tearing at my shirt and placing three claw marks upon my breast.

>>2823123
We raced out of the cave and heard it let out one last horrible roar. But immediately after exiting we didn't feel its presence behind us and to our surprise the beast didn't give chase. We retreated to the base camp as quickly as possible and recounted our tale. When we asked them if they heard the roar, our crewmates gave puzzled looks and said they heard nothing from the mountain. I showed them the tears in my shirt but found that no wound was present.

>>2823165
>>2823161
>>2823123
>>2823087
>>2823003

I don't believe you. That story has no factual back up, and you bearly presented a case at all. 2 pandas does not a war-hungry civilization make.

And besides, you were uninjured! Clearly it was a hallucination brought on by foreign honey.

>>2823352
I have proof. See this here? Its a Panda Claw. Cross my heart it is!

>>2823352
I agree we must not believe the ramblings of a madbear. He is just a pawn of the Bear Pope trying to use our trust in our brothers to make us believe in baseless legends thereby strengthening their control over the people.

We must turn away from the corrupt leaders of the church and find the true path to enlightenment and the home of the bear gods, Bearlympus. Only then will we have the pure and heavenly honey of righteousness and not the base honey of this world.

So pay no heed to the teachings of false prophets and let no thought of the Panda darken your mind. For in Panda there is only darkness and suffering.

Is it true that Owlbears were created by a Bear mating with an Owl?

>>2824487
HERESY!

THIS. ENDS. NOW!

>>2824504
OH SHIT! It's the number one threat to bears, COLBERT!
This is the great evil we were talking about, all bears must unite of we are doomed.

>>2824504

The Great Enemy is upon us! All is lost!

>>2824504
Colbert is weak. He lacks the will to stand up to the bear people. There is only one man who could possibly stop us.

>>2822193

Was it shitting in the woods?

>>2824532
>>2824566
Haven't you fools realized that we corrupted him long ago? Even his name wat changed to fit our agenda!

Stephen Col-BEAR!

Its a corruption of ColdBear... The only Cold Bear is a Dead Bear.

>>2824614
or a Polar Bear.

>>2824647
They are warm under the fur and fat. so not a Cold Bear

>>2824532
Meh hes a pussy, just call in the bear cavalry.

>>2824657

Well, he's still living in the Antarctic. So he's still going to be a damn sight colder than just about any other kind of bear.

>>2824680
>>polar bear
>>Antarctic
fail

There's a story out that we can repel bears with a Colbert Portrait. However, it's a American treasure now, and foreign use of the Portrait is a theft offense.

Enjoy your fucked, world.

>>2824660

He slew more great bears than we can name. His patriotism gives him terrible power!

Um... Nice Try but seeing the photofunia.com blew the illusion of reality

AAAAAAAAATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATAT

Does anyone have that Dire Bear story?
The one where a ranger took down an attacking Grizzle and found 5 .38 rounds in its skull and the remains of a hiker in its belly? (Beast was 12 feet tall)

>>2824801