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  • File :1222172634.jpg-(70 KB, 542x701, emperor.jpg)
    70 KB Emperor Worship Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:23 No.2646978  
    Sup, /tg/

    This not a place for theistic debate, I know. However, I believe that there truly is some kind of deity, it is wise enough to know that, no matter what word you use to address it, it knows and appreciates that you are calling out to it, praying, asking for broad favours.

    I pray to The Emperor. You have no idea how much this gets me through the day. Praying to the Emperor, trusting in His guiding Light to show me my path. Litanies of Protection, Litanies of Joy, even personal litanies have been created and stored on my iPod to listen to when I need support. In fact, I have called upon His Strength to help me when I was in Mortal Peril from a mugger trying to assault me.

    The reason I say this, /tg/, is that I know that there is someone else who does this. Are you there, /tg/? Are you there?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:26 No.2646980
    I say "Tzeentch!" instead of cursing now.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:26 No.2646981
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:27 No.2646982
    Has anyone responded with, "bless you" yet?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:27 No.2646983

    I'd call on Nurgle to rid me of this cold / sore throat, but I doubt it'd be particularly beneficial.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:27 No.2646985
    I prayed to Nurgle when I was younger to kill some kid for pushing me off the slide when I was a wee lad, he died of cancer 4 years later, the whole school was mourning his death, I was just stunned that Papa had deemed to answer my prayers.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:28 No.2646986

    >Rid me of this cold / sore throat

    Now why would the eternal lord of stagnation, decay, and disease rid you of one of his blessings?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:28 No.2646987
    Excellent trolling OP. The capitalization of "Mortal Peril" was what tipped me off 100%. 8/10, and I mean that.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:32 No.2646994
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    I don't think he's trolling, boss.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:34 No.2646996
    The Emporer is watching you fap
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:34 No.2646997
    I like Khorne more.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:34 No.2646998

    You know, I'm honestly not sure. My first thought was troll, but it's so well written it's almost believeable. 9/10 even so.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:37 No.2647003
    Does anyone have the rules for the emporer on tabletop?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:41 No.2647009
    >This not a place for theistic debate, I know. However, I believe that there truly is some kind of deity, it is wise enough to know that, no matter what word you use to address it, it knows and appreciates that you are calling out to it, praying, asking for broad favours.

    This line of thinking is actually a logical form of theism.

    What have you done, OP?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:46 No.2647017

    Except that there's still no evidence such a deity actually exists. You're right though, it's less contradictory than mainstream conceptions.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:48 No.2647021
    See the stats for The Doctor.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:49 No.2647022

    Where can i find the stats for this "Doctor" you speak of?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:52 No.2647031
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    >I don't know who Doctor Motherfucking Who is.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)08:53 No.2647035
    i also pray to the Emperor.
    >> Eidolon !!x4UZsNRzxWG 09/23/08(Tue)08:56 No.2647036
    i dont know who peter parker is, so how does that make you feel.
    >> sage 09/23/08(Tue)08:59 No.2647043
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    >This line of thinking is actually a logical form of theism.

    No, it's not.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)09:07 No.2647054
    The Emperor is so fucking badass that his badassery seeps from the game.

    Admit it, you want to yell FOR THE EMPEROR from the top of your lungs sometimes.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)09:10 No.2647058
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    OP, have you been working towards paying the blood debt that all mankind owes him?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)09:15 No.2647064

    If you want to start down that path there's no real evidence that anything exists. That being said, not believing anything =/= believing in nothing.
    >> Emo_Duck !ofC/MoKSRs 09/23/08(Tue)09:23 No.2647078
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    If I were given to deity worship, I think the Emperor would indeed be my god of choice. In the grand scope of things, I care mostly about mankind's survival and success, which is what Big E stands for. He is the agent of human enlightenment and progress, and he doesn't try to sugar-coat this agenda or wrap it into vague guidelines. Like other monotheistic deities, he's a benevolent tyrant, but to me he seems the most forthright of the bunch - comparatively few things are forbidden, and the ones that are are the result of rather consistent (if draconian) 'better safe than sorry' policies.
    >> sage 09/23/08(Tue)09:26 No.2647081
    >If you want to start down that path there's no real evidence that anything exists.

    Before we head down there, let's acknowledge that absence of evidence where evidence should be evident is evidence against.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)09:30 No.2647089

    >Litanies of Protection, Litanies of Joy, even personal litanies have been created and stored on my iPod to listen to when I need support.

    These litanies that you speak of, can you upload them onto rapidshare?

    I wish to sample them for myself.
    >> Phobonaut !tTBC.7oEaQ 09/23/08(Tue)09:32 No.2647092
    I learned from Planescape that if we all pray hard enough, the Emperor will be real.

    Too bad our souls are sucked in the shamanistic magic explosion, but what the hell... :D
    >> anonymouuuus 09/23/08(Tue)09:33 No.2647095
    bro you dont fucking know, i pray to the machine god blessed be his name- and to the almighty emperor id show you my liturgies on yellow postits allovet my rulebook - it is better to have died for the emperor than to have lived for oneself - hear the spacemarines in DoW gets me into a fanatical rage
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)09:34 No.2647098
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    Sup, /tg/

    This not a place for theistic debate, I know. However, I believe that there truly is some kind of deity, it is wise enough to know that, no matter what word you use to address it, it knows and and cares not that you are calling out to it, praying, asking for broad favours.

    I pray to Khorne. You have no idea how much this gets me through the day. Praying to the Blood God, seeking his favour through the death of my enemies is my path. Songs of Rage, Songs of Blood, even personal litanies have been created and stored on my iPod to listen to when I need support. In fact, I have called upon His Strength to help me when I was in danger of failing to to take the skull of some imperial lackey who thought I was trying to mug him.

    The reason I say this, /tg/, is that I know that there is someone else who does this. Are you there, /tg/? Are you there?
    >> anonymouuuus 09/23/08(Tue)09:40 No.2647112
    considering there is a warp then our emotions will leave a resounding mark in the warp should we give into a state of fanatasism large enough to create a tear in the warp (or a warp storm) that would give birth to a entity that resounds with our directives and our being. as was the case for the god slanesh (primarily a being of hedonistic desire) born of the mimicked desires of the eldar at the time of the fall.
    would it be worth having your sould stripped off you to create such a being - and what of the ability to creade such a being knowing that for once with certianty your death will attribute to the glory of mankind?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)09:53 No.2647146
    Step 1. Find crazy God freak
    Step 2. Tell them about the Immortal Emperor of Mankind
    Step 3. ???
    Step 4. PROFIT
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)09:57 No.2647154

    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)09:59 No.2647158
    >How in da' mukkin Gorka and morka iz not hur?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:03 No.2647166
    I use the litany of machine restoration everytime I rapair something or install a new part to my computer.

    "Mechanism I restore thy spirit, let the Machine God breath half life into thy veins and render thee functional."

    I don't believe it does anything but it satisfies my nerdy side even though I quit warhammer some time ago.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:06 No.2647170

    Suddenly, Necrons. Everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:10 No.2647179

    Do you say it in the DoW Enginseer voice?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:13 No.2647182

    Different Anon, but whenever I drive somewhere I leave the car saying "Thank you, Machine Spirit, for our safe arrival" in the Engineseer's voice. My friends think it's annoying as fuck.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:15 No.2647184

    You are crazy as fuck, you were in the warp last thursday by any chance?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:16 No.2647188

    If they think you're crazy as fuck, they're obviously lacking in the neckbeard department. I say you get new friends.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:18 No.2647193

    Not crazy, annoying. And if I didn't have these friends to annoy, I'd have to get new ones, and that's an annoying process.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:18 No.2647197
    It IS annoying as fuck.
    Fuckin' hilarious though.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:20 No.2647205

    That's not annoying at all, what IS annoying is yelling "WITNESS YOUR DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM" whenever you unleash a particularly stubborn entity from your rectum. Solid or gaseous.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:23 No.2647215
    OP if u listen to the Litanies of Protection and the Litanies of Joy where did u get them?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:27 No.2647225
    I listen to the Litany of Fury. Makes me calm and relaxed.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:28 No.2647227
    I'm doing this from now on.

    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:29 No.2647231

    Provided OP isn't just making shit up he wrote that he "created" them, so he must have recorded it on his Ipod. I can only imagine what that sounds like, one lonely neckbeard chanting in some kind of faux-Gregorian monk impression. If he actually got a choir together then I'm impressed. Actually, OP, mind sharing those litanies of yours? I'd like to listen.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:36 No.2647257

    The Emperor protects.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:37 No.2647260
    This reminds me...

    At my FLGW, I was just minding my own business, painting my miniatures, when this Bible Basher son of a bitch started coming in trying to convert us to the power of JEEZZUSSS. Most of us just shrugged him off and ignored him, but not one guy. He fucking went ballistic, yelling something along the lines of "TURN AWAY FROM MY HOLY GOD EMPRAH?! WHAT KIND OF HERESY IS THIS?! I CAST YE OUT, OH INNER DAEMON, STOP THIS POSSESSION OF THIS MORTAL AND BY THE NAME OF THE EMPERAHS HOLY LIGHT I RETURN ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN TO YOUR THRONE"

    The entire store cracked up laughing, and the Bible Basher was dumbstruck.

    Needless to say, you are not alone, OP. You are not alone.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:38 No.2647264
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    Sup, /tg/

    This not a place for theistic debate, I know. However, I believe that there truly is some kind of deity, it is wise enough to know that, no matter what word you use to address it, it knows and appreciates that you are calling out to it, praying, asking for broad favours.

    I pray to The Unconquered Sun. You have no idea how much this gets me through the day. Praying to the Sun, trusting in His burning Light to turn me into an impossible avatar of perfection. Litanies of AWESOME, Litanies of EXALTED, even personal litanies have been created and memorized by my legions of followers to listen to when I need support. In fact, I have called upon His Awesomeness to help me when I was in Mortal Peril from a continent-sized world-creating dragon of purest shadow trying to assault my kingdom.

    The reason I say this, /tg/, is that I know that there is someone else who does this. Are you there, /tg/? Are you there?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:45 No.2647290

    This needs to be the standard reaction to Evangelicals.
    >> !uz8u2XmvbY 09/23/08(Tue)10:46 No.2647293

    requesting shoop of emperor with obamas face
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:48 No.2647298
    Am I the only to find strange similarities between 40k God Emperor cults and Lovecraftians cults?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:49 No.2647303

    You fool! Obama is the Lord of Change, not our holy undying Emperor!
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:49 No.2647309

    Not God Emperor exactly, Chaos would be more like it. Nurgle could fit in one of his novels..
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:51 No.2647313

    But, Papa Nurgle loves you...
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:54 No.2647329
    "Cthulhu loves me this I know,
    For the High Priest tells me so,
    He won't eat me, no not yet,
    He's our Lord all dank and wet..."
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:58 No.2647353
    I truly want to believe that The Emperor exists.

    I truly, truly do.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)10:59 No.2647360

    He does, my brother. But in the far distant future. Yet, that does not stop us from preaching about his coming.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:00 No.2647369
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    >> Emo_Duck !ofC/MoKSRs 09/23/08(Tue)11:00 No.2647371

    Warhammer 40K fluff = prophecies?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:03 No.2647382
    Now is /tg/ the true faith and GW the Judean Peoples Front.
    Or is GW the true Faith and /tg/ is the Peoples Front of Judea?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:04 No.2647384

    Sorry to bother you good sir, but as a loyal follower of C'tan, the nightbring-..

    Wait, that was for Adeptus Mechanicus folks. How many silly sects do you silly imperials have? Seriously, even Orks are less confusing.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:07 No.2647401

    See you during the first Ork War.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:08 No.2647408

    the Emperor was born some six thousand years ago and walks among us. when He has at last shaped us into our full potential, He will reveal Himself and lead us to our Golden Age of Humanity.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:09 No.2647413

    That part can be determined later by revisionists who ruin everything we work for years later.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:09 No.2647414

    >Gork n' Mork wud luv to hav word wiv' you umies!
    >> Whatever !JVlQDSzl.s 09/23/08(Tue)11:10 No.2647420
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    I know the Tau'Va is less of a religion and more of a philosophy, but how would one go about integrating its lessons into their life apart from general selflessness?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:12 No.2647428

    I wouldn't call someone's philosophy reliable, if their army recruitment involves castration.
    >> Emo_Duck !ofC/MoKSRs 09/23/08(Tue)11:12 No.2647430

    What are its lessons?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:13 No.2647444
    The Nation-State is all.
    The Individual has no import beyond granting the state strength.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:14 No.2647449
    mind control
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:14 No.2647450

    Join the local Communist Party.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:18 No.2647463
    I actually WANT to be into a religion. I was raised first as a Catholic and then into Christianity (all the shit's the same, really). Now, I'm agnostic. If there were actual proof of some greater power, I would be all over that right away. If something could actually grant me divine, or not-so-divine, help through life, I would latch onto that and be zealous about it.

    The shit there now are all just fairy tales and loop roles while nearly retcon everything else and completely ignore history. I asked a religion nut about dinosaurs, and he actually said that it's part of God's plan to test us with demonly monsters and false idols. Come on, now.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:19 No.2647469

    I hate you all so much. For fuck sake, Tau do not work that way.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:19 No.2647472
    It's rather satisfying to know one is not alone in the dark moments, that others have called upon the Holy Name of He-Who-Will-Take-The-Throne-Of-Earth when they most needed Him.

    Praise be the Emperor, brothers. We walk in the light of the Throne, in the blessed days when the secrets of technology are known to Man. Let us be content to know He is among us, marshaling His strength to unify all Mankind when His time has come.

    If you are among US, Lord, you have but to call and we will answer.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:21 No.2647477
    I have a religion you might be interested in. Man as his own god. Your idol as yourself. A religion that does not deny the impulses of humanity, or try to chain them into submission, one that uses those impulses to focus ones desires and act as a driving force for ones own goals.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:22 No.2647482
    Stp worshipping me, assholes.

    Lrn 2 Imperial Truth

    - Empy
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:23 No.2647485
    If it isn't GRIMDARK it will be made GRIMDARK. This is the law of 40k.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:26 No.2647504
    No-one loves C'tan?
    >> Future emperor of mankind 09/23/08(Tue)11:28 No.2647510

    I'm busy shaping you all, why the warp do you think I instigated the creation of Warhammer 40,000. Training boys and girls, training. Now study up.
    >> Future emperor of mankind 09/23/08(Tue)11:30 No.2647516
    By the way, Iraq... Afghanistan... exterminatus. Much easier.
    >> Emo_Duck !ofC/MoKSRs 09/23/08(Tue)11:31 No.2647518

    I think the Emperor is a pretty good incarnation of this, to a degree. It depends on which aspects of human nature you want to focus on.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:31 No.2647520
    But that would destroy all the precious oil...I mean kill all the poor oppressed people we're going to save by bombing.
    >> red black spiderman !!gmZ7B9l1yE+ 09/23/08(Tue)11:32 No.2647522
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    The emperor hates worship. You are making him cry OP. I hope you're happy.
    >> Future emperor of mankind 09/23/08(Tue)11:33 No.2647523

    Will I eventually power my armies on oil?!?!

    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:36 No.2647529
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    Hey Faggots,

    My name is the Emperor, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass hololiths. You are everything bad in the Imperium. Honestly, have any of you ever purged any xenos or heretics? I mean, I guess it's fun being heretical and letting them live, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures in the Directorica Imperialis.

    Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was Emperor of a galaxy-spanning Imperium and starter on my Chaos-God Pwning team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to memetically-infested Tau pornography"? I also get straight life support, and have a banging hot bodyguard (They just fed me 1000 psykers; Shit was SO astromnomnomican). You are all xeno-loving mutant heretics who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening

    Pic related, it's my Custode
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:36 No.2647531
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    he's a little weirded out by it, but it's nothing he hasn't seen before.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:36 No.2647532

    Yes, if you are an Ork.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:36 No.2647533
    Throne be praised brothers. I seriously and mindlessly chant "The Emperor protects" again and again before exams and other moments of dire peril. Former hardcore catholic turned atheist.

    Despite my atheism, I have a habit of anthromorpising concepts and things into gods or spirits I know don't exist. The booze god, machine spirits (even before I discovered 40k), and so forth.

    Now it's the Emperor. I even go so far as using phrases such as "oh my god-emperor" in everyday conversation and referring to Jesus, Allah, Yahweh, etc. as the "Dark Gods". Keeping mankind in thrall to ignorance and slavery.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:37 No.2647536
    Fuck, I lol'd.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:38 No.2647538

    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:38 No.2647539
    1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
    2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
    3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
    4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
    5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
    6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
    7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
    8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
    9. Do not harm little children.
    10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
    11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

    Basically this.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:38 No.2647540
    Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!
    >> Future emperor of mankind 09/23/08(Tue)11:38 No.2647542

    And am I a filthy vulgar xenos? No, those pathetic creatures will implode, wither and die under their own nihilistic natures as long as I live.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:39 No.2647544


    The Emperor -was- Jesus.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:39 No.2647547
    ITT Satanism
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:41 No.2647552

    Nice furry laws furfag.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:41 No.2647553
    That's just human nature. We need to associate human thoughts and feelings to everything. If there was one instinct I could wipe from the human race, this would be it.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:41 No.2647555
    Jesus was an extraterrestrial.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:43 No.2647567
    I have been known to appeal to The Emprah from time to time. I figure if there is a god it doesn't matter what I call it, and Emprah is way better than Yahweh.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:45 No.2647570
    They're actually the eleven satanic rules of the earth. Don't ask me how I know that, just don't.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:44 No.2647571
    Well played.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:45 No.2647576

    No he's not, Von Daniken.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:46 No.2647580

    The Emperor is literate. Doesn't hesitate to use violence in the service of Mankind's glory. And doesn't not perform weak shit such a cursing a tree for not growing out of season.

    The Emperor is a good of enlightenment and *PROGRESS*. Not hippy castration faggotry.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:46 No.2647582

    >da Boyz ar tuff, emperhur. Orks ar' all but nihiliztik, Orks av' fought in plazes 'here your 'oomans never were. Gork n' Mork are 'ay tuffer 'han ye!
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:47 No.2647585

    It's even worse then, Anton LaVey was a fucking idiot.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:49 No.2647592
    Missed some Satanism there, Anon

    This. This this this.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:49 No.2647594
    Oh yes. "Mankind requires dogma." WTF? I'll tell him where he can shove his "dogma" fucking fuck-up self proclaimed messiah.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:49 No.2647597
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    There are worse things to pray to. The Emprah is pretty badass.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:51 No.2647602
    And no-one pretends he's real.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:52 No.2647608
    I wouldn't pray to the Emprah as a being, but as a concept it's pretty cool. I could worship a concept like that.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:53 No.2647612
    Samefag reporting in-- There is ONE thing LaVey had going for him that was sorta awesome.His (assumed, since his real name according to Wikipedoland is Howard) middle name: Szandor.

    I've used that shit for Chaos cultists. Seriously.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:53 No.2647614
    The concept of being some dead guy you worship?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:54 No.2647616

    You mean the concept of HUMAN SUPREMACY?


    The universe belongs to us, it just doesn't know it yet.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:54 No.2647620
    No, the concept of a perfect human being representing science, progress and the protection of humanity.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:55 No.2647625
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:55 No.2647629

    A dead perfect human being, propped up on a golden chair and made into the very thing he abhorred? Yeah, awesome.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:56 No.2647633

    that's Bible Jesus.

    History Jesus kicked the shit out of banks, kicked the shit out of romans, and doesn't afraid of anything.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:56 No.2647636
    I'm sorry, but your derp derp derp is showing.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:57 No.2647642
    Humans aren't all that great, even in the context of self-replicating chemical processes living on parts of the biosphere of this one particular smallish ball of rock circling our smallish sun.

    Einstein is right. Faster than Light travel is impossible. The only way earthlings will explore the universe is if they're robots.

    Cthulhu Fhtagn.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:58 No.2647644
    I think history jesus is a pretty cool guy, eh didnt exist and doesnt afraid of anything.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:58 No.2647649
    When the Unification comes, you will be first up against the wall.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:59 No.2647654

    Nothing is impossible. Nothing. As time approaches infinity, the probablity of absolutely ANYTHING approaches 1.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:59 No.2647657

    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:59 No.2647661

    Tyranids, Ever-Reproducing Orks and Necrons anyone?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)11:59 No.2647662
    It is unfortunate that the universe likely won't exist for an infinite amount of time.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:00 No.2647665
    We have a guy in our group who is a bit of a god-botherer so I use the name for the angels and good deities of the campaign world.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:00 No.2647667
    This pasta is a little cold
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:00 No.2647669

    Got to give him credit on that. Though he, like a friend of mine had a habit of giving ridiculous names to some of his children. My friend is a follower of LaVey's brand of satanism, (though I have no idea why, it's mostly by mouth service and not act) and decided to name his son after the lord of the fourth plane of hell. That poor kid is going to get it from every bible thumping teacher that ever runs near his path. Damn pity.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:00 No.2647671
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:01 No.2647678
    Just what in the friggity fuck is going on in that image?

    Just to chime in, yes I would worship the Emperor. Shit, if there were a church for him nearby I would attend, though I am agnostic currently.

    Think about it. "GOD". He hates humanity and the first thing he teaches us is "well, I fucked up and made you wrong. You suck".

    Then you have the Emperor.
    "Humans are the best. I'll prove it by fighting the GALAXY."
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:02 No.2647686
    Shut the fuck up.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:02 No.2647687

    damn straight, fucking hippies and ecoterror fags.

    Earth is our cradle, our birthplace. Sacred and worthy of reverence it is. BUT IT SHOULDN'T BE OUR GRAVE. "It's the only home we've got, my ass".

    That's defeatism, right there. Huddling on our little ball of dust in a non-descript spiral arm, waiting for the planet and sun to give out. Neo-luddites and morons.

    We can fix her up better than new when we have the resources of countless worlds and stars.

    The Emperor may not exist. But the concepts he stands for.

    The power of Science
    The Unity of the Species
    And most of all, our "destiny". Our purpose. To reach out into the vastness and become masters of all we survey.
    >> Emo_Duck !ofC/MoKSRs 09/23/08(Tue)12:02 No.2647690

    I think this is a curious notion that ought to be addressed. At the risk of sounding offensive, it's my conviction that religion is a self-deception that enables people to cope with certain things in life. As such, however unfounded it may be, it has a positive function in the personal life of the believer.

    However, if you subscribe to a faith that you factually know to be completely fictitious, will you still benefit as much from it? It would seem a bit hollow to me.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:03 No.2647701
    This assumes a) physical constants are time variant.
    b) anything will be around to take advantage of it.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:04 No.2647706

    Bible Jesus is all the Jesus there is. Didn't exist. Seriously, the historical records written by "contemporaries" concerning Jebus are centuries more recent.

    At least we bear no illusions about our God-Emperor.
    He exists only through our faith and embodies our finest traits.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:06 No.2647715
    Humans need that sort of shit. We just don't realize it until we take it too far.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:07 No.2647719

    ever hear of Glycon?
    dude was literally a sock puppet. he still has followers to this day.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:08 No.2647727
    It's called cognitive dissonance. People do it all the time as a survival reflex. I believe something that I know is a complete fabrication because it makes me feel better, is conveniant, or I don't like the truth. (eg I know my wife murdered our son but I'll pretend she didn't _especially_ to myself)
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:08 No.2647729
    Just the idea of The Emperor is good enough to respect. A human being embodying all the best traits of humanity without any pretensions of caring about anything but the well-being of the human race.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:10 No.2647734

    There should be some kinda Human Supremacist movement. But I'm drawing up blanks for a "WHITE POWER!" kinda slogan.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:11 No.2647736
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:11 No.2647742
    Like the neo-nazi 18 words, but with 'white' replaced by 'human'.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:13 No.2647756
    Or this. This is better. But why stop there? Why not 100billion? Or 100trillion? More people. More People! Until the earth is choked with our throngs!
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:14 No.2647766
    To be quite serious for a moment.

    I think I would get more out of it if I were to know the Truth up front. Not only that, but the possibility that our Faith could be that catalyst for His creation would give me more hope that anything else.

    Hell just on a simple level, who would you rather worship (if anyone):

    -dude in the sky no one has ever seen that you are told hates you

    -dude under the ground that you never seen that you are told hates you

    -dude who is 12 feet tall that you have seen personally, who can use his mind to talk to people two billion light years away.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:15 No.2647774
    Not just Earth, but space. There should be no room for aliens anywhere in the universe. Literally no room.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:16 No.2647776
    There's nowhere else for us to live, guys.

    I know it's hard to accept, but there's not going to be anywhere else in the galaxy with the correct gravity/atmosphere/biosphere/stellar-energy. Just airless rocks and crushing depths and pools of molten lead.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:16 No.2647777

    We go off-world, durrr.

    That's where the science and progress bits of the God-Emperor belief system come into play.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:17 No.2647788
    It is the duty of all mankind to gift the stars to our offspring.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:18 No.2647792

    1) Terraforming
    2) So many freaking worlds, a couple will have at least partially livable biomes
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:18 No.2647795
    At this point I'd offer veneration to any very tall guy in golden armour.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:20 No.2647809
    It's silly to make such sweeping statements given the impossibly vast size of just our own galaxy.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:20 No.2647814
    Terraforming venus is about as unrealistic as terraforming jupiter. People have just been trained by sci-fi to think it's possible.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:22 No.2647828
    So your argument is that despite the incredibly long odds, it's sure to exist somewhere?

    So maybe there's like 3 earthlike planets in the galaxy. We just need to explore all 300 billion stars to find them, right?

    At slower-than-light speeds. (FTL is impossible)

    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:22 No.2647831
    By the throne, I am seriously considering starting a "Church of the Emperor Awaiting".

    We must prepare the way for the future of hope and awesomeness the Emperor envisioned and planned for Humanity.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:23 No.2647832
    I can't see how the idea of Earth being the only inhabitable planet in the universe can be anything but absolutely obscene arrogance.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:23 No.2647837
    I'd totally sign up.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:23 No.2647838


    terraform Mars.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:25 No.2647844
    Earth (Terra) is on the trailing edge of a spiral arm.

    Basically, the fucking outback of the Galaxy. We can't see shit from here.

    Besides, by the time we develop FTL travel, terraforming a planet will be no big deal.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:25 No.2647847
    Miklagaard has been our home
    For twenty years or more
    We've lent our axes, spears and swords
    In service of the emperor

    We are loyal warriors
    That's the oath we gave
    To protect the emperor
    Even to a violent grave

    Our loyality was always firm
    We kept our given word
    On these southern battlefields
    Our northern war cries roared

    Battles have been fought
    Many gave their lives
    But all who died by axe and sword
    Were called to hall up high

    Our time here
    Is now at end
    Can't help but reminisce
    A cold spring day
    So long ago
    When we set out to sea

    Set out from Svitjod's Shores!
    With dreams of fame and gold!
    The work of weaving Norns!
    Was unknown

    We were loyal warriors
    That's the oath we gave
    To protect the emperor
    Even to the grave

    It's time to take farewell
    We have been resolved
    From the sacred oath we gave
    It's time to go back home

    Our time here
    Is now at end
    Our memories will stay
    Of Miklagård
    Our southern home
    Until the end of days

    Set out from Svitjod's Shores!
    With honor and rewards!
    We return back home!
    We return back home!
    With honor and rewards!
    We return back home!

    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:25 No.2647848
    This would have to be the first commandment of the Emperor's Church.
    The second would have to be "Don't taunt the servants of the Omnissiah."
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:25 No.2647849

    And indolent, ignorant, defeatist, unambitious and demeaning to Humanity.

    But most of all, such a view is

    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:26 No.2647852
    Start a website, recieve neckbeard clerics.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:26 No.2647853
    We'll be there.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:26 No.2647856

    Do you have evidence to support you? Because, from what i've heard, it is possible. It'd require centuries of work, but it could be done.


    FTL is currently beyond our scientific understanding, and our ability to create. Saying anything is impossible is somewhat foolish. Everything ever held true can and will be overturned at some point in the future. Science is a dynamic every changing framework, not a dogmatic, everlasting set of laws.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:28 No.2647864
    Nonsense. We can never penetrate the crystal spheres, so we will never leave this solar system.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:31 No.2647887
    We must petition Dan Abnett (hallowed be his name) to put pen to paper and write the Lectitio Divinitatus.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:31 No.2647890
    Is Goto the Anti-emprah?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:33 No.2647909
         File :1222187638.jpg-(104 KB, 600x750, 1221517928097.jpg)
    104 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:34 No.2647913
    Pilgrimages to nottingham?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:34 No.2647915
    Nah, he's just a douchebag.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:35 No.2647924
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:37 No.2647933
    epic archive, you must
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:38 No.2647943
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:39 No.2647950
    I want the Emperor to be real so we can turn Earth into a fuckhuge palace.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:42 No.2647964
    that settles it, /tg/.

    next time the Census rolls around I am putting The Imperial Cult as my religion.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:42 No.2647965
         File :1222188121.jpg-(65 KB, 407x405, 1218725657195.jpg)
    65 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:42 No.2647969
    Didn't notice this post. Must have tl;dr'ed it


    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:43 No.2647973
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:43 No.2647975
         File :1222188202.jpg-(49 KB, 397x397, EPICMETAL.jpg)
    49 KB

    Holy fuck thank you and may the Emperor protect!

    Seriously, look at that cover art. That's fucking THOR in a god-damn boat grabbing the WORLD SERPENTS FUCKING TONGUE AND SMASHING IT TO FUCK!

    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:46 No.2647993
    That's it /tg/ we are all putting down our religion as Imperial Cult. If fucking Jedi can have a religion so can we!
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:46 No.2647997
    I used to write purity seals and stick them on my PC case when things broke. I like to imagine I placated the Machine Spirit.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:48 No.2648004

    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:49 No.2648010

    His Faith is no mere cult. It is the way to Mankind's destiny.

    A more suitable name to encompass our creed is needed.

    -Church of the Emperor Awaiting, as other fa/tg/uy suggested
    -Church of the Saviour Emperor
    -Lectitio Divinatus

    Any others?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:49 No.2648011
    i have sacrificed old and broken technologies to free the machine spirit inside them in order to fix more current things.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:49 No.2648013
    I think he's standing on the serpent.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:49 No.2648014
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:50 No.2648022
    Temple of the Savior Emperor.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:51 No.2648030
    Church of the Emperor Ascendant.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:51 No.2648031
    I think I might be speaking for all of us when I say that we want to avoid the word "church".

    >-Lectitio Divinatus
    Will do just fine.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:51 No.2648033
    >Church of the Andromeda Ascendant.
    >> Sonderling !BQ3sED2yVs 09/23/08(Tue)12:51 No.2648035
    I pray to Cthulhu, but worship nothing.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:52 No.2648038
    Fuck yes Lectitio, you are the best cult ever.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:52 No.2648039

    Lectitio Divinitatus seems to be the fluffiest of the three.

    however, it is probably copyrighted.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:53 No.2648042
         File :1222188815.png-(119 KB, 876x416, 40kvoiddragon.png)
    119 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:54 No.2648045
    How awesome would it be to get our "establishment" tax exempt status?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:54 No.2648049
    When in doubt, make up a latin-sounding name. Fake latin: cult tested, Emperor approved.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:55 No.2648056
    One step at a time, one step at a time...
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:57 No.2648063
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:57 No.2648066
    ITT: Scientology 2.0
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:58 No.2648072
    Hey now, we're starting off with good intentions. If it goes the L. Ron way, well that's too bad.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:58 No.2648075
    We must discuss this on IRC on something. A great council of the faithful to lay down the tenets of our faith.

    What say you?
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)12:58 No.2648080
    I have always called and considered myself an individualist, call me a faggot and just wanting to stand out, i dont care. I have always been confident in some sort of higher power but I've also always been sure that it doesn't love us in the way Christianity makes it out. I believe that only those who have faith in themselves are ever capable of having true faith in something else. I believe only those who honestly work hard at their own goal deserve any help from a higher power. These ideals have carried over to my political, philosophical, and religious views. I have been called egotistical, a maniac, heartless, and my personal favorite "an ayn randist fucker who would never understand what people were fighting for".

    I have prayed to the emperor, i have made sacrifices to long dead gods. I have spilt blood for khorne. I curse tzeentch whenever my dice show ones, especially my 20s.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:00 No.2648087
         File :1222189211.jpg-(34 KB, 390x344, WATpigeon.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:01 No.2648098

    A conclave!
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:01 No.2648100

    His Light shines on all true Men. His word and acts do can not be bought.

    We have a concrete goal. Not some self-fulfillment "thetan" new-age heresy.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:01 No.2648101

    I dunno, >>2647687 summed it up pretty good already
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:03 No.2648107
    If this is going to IRC, I'll finally have a reason to download a client.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:04 No.2648119
    Does it strike anyone else as odd that a religion centered around worshiping a perfect human does not already exist?

    I think the best thing for Humanity would be a great big helping of narcissism. Yes, we are THAT awesome, just go with it already.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:04 No.2648121
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:05 No.2648127
    aww fuck, we're autosaging.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:06 No.2648130
    Just so you know, I cppy pasted your post to my copypasta folder. I will employ your beautiful words later.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:08 No.2648147

    A conclave means an election for the Pope.

    What we need is something like the Council of Nicaea


    "With the creation of the creed, a precedent was established for subsequent general (ecumenical) councils of Bishops' (Synods) to create statements of belief and canons of doctrinal orthodoxy— the intent being to define unity of beliefs for the whole of Christendom."
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:11 No.2648177
    We're doing this thread again.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:13 No.2648193
    Thread continues at >>2648189
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)13:28 No.2648314

    This this this. It's kind of funny, actually; my personal goals and beliefs mirror those that the Emperor wished humanity to absorb. Progress, the absolute clarity of science, the banishment of gods and idols, etc.
    >> Anonymous 09/23/08(Tue)14:12 No.2648610


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