Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • このサイトについて - 翻訳

  • File :1221679510.jpg-(6 KB, 200x251, lichdude.jpg)
    6 KB Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:25 No.2600159  
    New lich thread cause the old one autosaged.

    I have a question about lich interaction. Do they just kill everyone they see? Do they interact with the living, or just make undead slaves to do everything they need? And how do they interact with other liches? Do they see them as associates or competitors?

    I think it would be very awesome for a powerful lich to have set up a cult of living and undead servants to do his work.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:28 No.2600175
    Depends on the lich. A lot of them just find other people to be really annoying and killing them is a lot faster then trying to convince them to leave.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:28 No.2600177

    Depends on the lich. Different liches have, in various stories, acted in all of those ways.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:33 No.2600195
    Liches are just like regular people in how they act.

    Just really old, undead, and magical people.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:35 No.2600212
    And they're total dicks too. Mostly they just want people to fuck off and leave them alone to do their research.
    >> Agent Orange !VMI9Yqtp8w 09/17/08(Wed)15:37 No.2600217
    They're just like wizards who are evil.
    Only they're undead.
    And really powerful.
    And especially evil.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:37 No.2600218
         File :1221680262.jpg-(9 KB, 449x202, LichKingFrozenThrone.jpg)
    9 KB
    >I think it would be very awesome for a powerful lich to have set up a cult of living and undead servants to do his work.

    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:38 No.2600225
    Liches have a SEVERE lack of tolerance for stupidity and people getting in their way. Considering that covers most visitors, the results are predictable.

    The only reason I'd go visiting a Lich is if I had something he wanted, otherwise any number of things might happen to me that I wouldn't enjoy.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:38 No.2600228
    They're like a guy who freaks out when he's watching something or playing a videogame and his roommate asks him if he wants a slice of pizza or something. Except instead of "SHUT UP GO AWAY" it's "ZOMG FINGER OF DEATH!"
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:40 No.2600242
    what about liches working together, then? They could swap phylacteries so that when you kill one and think it's over with, you don't know that you destroyed the wrong phylactery!
    >> Lanternthief 09/17/08(Wed)15:40 No.2600245
    Playing a game once. Party met a lich who wasn't really much in way of BBEG. Party barged in to his fortress keep, he bitches, get hits a couple of times, then teleports away. Shit was shit.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:40 No.2600248
    Some lich variants are good. Especially in FR

    Archlich = good guy becomes lich to be good forever

    Baelnorn = elf who becomes a lich to protect/further their family/clan/family graveyard forever
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:42 No.2600259
    yeeeeeah, we don't talk about those.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:46 No.2600277
    lichesw are just older more powerful necromancers and tend to act as such, just with a slightly worse temper
    >> Agent Orange !VMI9Yqtp8w 09/17/08(Wed)15:47 No.2600289
    I really never liked the concept of the "good lich". Something about putting your life-force in a box has to fuck you up at least a little.

    Seems like there would be a constant power play, Sith-style.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:48 No.2600292
    What's the point in being so god-damn powerful?

    Right, so Lichs want NOTHING but learning the dark magics, okay but let's say they've done that. Let's say they're so fuck-hueg powerful, they could destroy entire planets.
    Then what?
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:49 No.2600299
    Then they go check out other planes as a Demi-lich
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:50 No.2600303
    And get stuck in ravenloft?
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:52 No.2600313
    Imagine a cranky old college professor who only wants to continue his research, and regards having to interact with anyone else to be a tiresome distraction from his studies.

    Now make that college professor hundreds of years old, and entirely willing to get rid of annoying interruptions by casting Finger of Death, Disintegrate or Power Word: Kill.

    I imagine a more merciful lich might come up with some kind of Go Away spell that teleports intruders someplace far, far away, but it's often more expedient to just kill them. This also discourages others from interrupting your work.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:52 No.2600316
    There is always more to learn, and not every Lich wants to rule. If they did, you'd see a lot more of the "Liches raisin' himself up an army".
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:54 No.2600329

    Actually, it's closer to "Let's put on some Bermuda shorts, pick up a camera, and see what there is to see with these eternally rotting eyes of mine."
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:55 No.2600336
    But you have to let one escape every so often so he or she can other people not to go there.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:55 No.2600337

    that's when you buy the Epic Level Handbook and start training to take out neutronium golems.
    >> Lanternthief 09/17/08(Wed)15:57 No.2600354

    They aren't epic.

    They're why-would-you-do-this-DM.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:58 No.2600364

    no, that's the Mortiverse.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:58 No.2600366
    They're like having nuclear missiles in real life. If you actually use them then you're doing it wrong.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)15:59 No.2600377

    The continent is divided into kingdoms, each ruled by a very power lich, perhaps awesome demiliches(sp?)
    All the menial tasks are performed by undead servants, while the living populace perform the more complicated. All higher institutions such as schools or court are run by liches who act as mentors to everyone; they've been around, they make sure history never repeats itself.

    Living humans who prove their worth are allowed to become powerful undead, with the approval of the ruling liches, when they so chose, be it a lich or undead knight.

    Everything's fine and everyone is happy. One day a ship from the forgotten realms happen to drift to this continent. The crew is welcomed and stay for a few months until their ship has been repaired and restocked. They strike a deal and become an official <lich continent> and forgotten realms trading company.

    When they come back to FR they all talk about this wonderful new land. This spread like wildfire and reach the ears of curious adventurers who set sail.

    They proceed to fuck shit up in their ignorance and search for phat lewtz.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:02 No.2600394
    A group of adventurers tries to fuck up a nation of liches and other powerful undead?

    Those adventurers aren't gonna last long.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:02 No.2600395

    Reminds me of the Lichocracy I read about in a Mieville book. The living were all treated like shit by the dead, who were the upper class. Mostly liches, but vampires as well. People would struggle to raise enough money and influence to get raised after their death. I always thought it was an interesting concept. What would a necromantic society actually look like and function?
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:04 No.2600402
    wtf, vampires were even lower then humans. They were considered to be nothing but pathetic addicts.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:04 No.2600411

    Like Feudal France, but a lot dirtier.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:06 No.2600424

    Oh right, yeah. The liches were the ones that ruled that country though. I forgot how they looked down on vampires, it's a pretty lol concept to equate blood with heroin.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:07 No.2600429
    wouldn't it be cleaner? Dead people don't have to crap or eat or anything.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:07 No.2600430

    That's impossible. Stop suggesting impossible things.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:07 No.2600433
    I....kind of like this idea.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:08 No.2600444
    what about an army of fanatic clerics and paladins? or maybe 5 armies.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:10 No.2600454

    I don't remember what book it's in(Probably HoH), but they had a Necropolis/Empire of the Dead. As they say, everything is pretty much the same...but disturbingly different. Farms that only raise livestock, for instance.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:10 No.2600457
    I'd like to see a lich who works in a university. He teaches maybe one class a week at most. His hideout is riddled with deadly traps, except for two hours on Wednesday, which are "office hours"
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:11 No.2600467
    War of attrition. Every one of the invaders that dies rises up to serve the lich lords. The liches are also very powerful in their own right and have probably come up with all sorts of spell to augment their power when working cooperatively with others. There'd be so much necromantic magic being thrown at invaders that they wouldn't be able to get off of the beaches.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:12 No.2600473
    why would he work, though? what would he consider fair payment for his services?
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:13 No.2600476

    Points for him being totally off his rocker but still perfectly capable of teaching well.

    "Look! It's a SUPER 'F'!"
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:13 No.2600477

    Clerics could turn/smite the undead with holy power though.

    And now I'm imagining D-day with paladins and liches instead of Allies and Nazis. Thanks for that awesome mental image, Anon!
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:14 No.2600483
    d-day, but more failing and less winning in the end.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:14 No.2600486

    Yeah, but they don't tend to clean up their streets either.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:15 No.2600489
    Butterscotch candies. He can't taste them, but he remembers liking the fuck out of 'em.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:15 No.2600492

    Knowledge, probably. Equipment the university can provide him. Access to libraries and stuff. If the university hires adventurers to find artifacts and stuff he could use that.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:17 No.2600502
    Exactly. That and all the expendable research assistants he needs. He's a bit of a dick, but not that bad (for a lich). A recommendation or reference from Prof. Dustpants can totally make someone's career too.

    Basically, undead House.

    Surprisingly fair marker too.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:18 No.2600514
    Maybe he lives on campus and the weekly lectures pay his rent. Or something inside the University is his phylactery and that's how he pays them for guarding it and keeping it secret.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:19 No.2600516
    they are controlled to perform any simple task they are capable off. shovelling dirt shouldn't be impossible.

    And I just realized that the living humans ought to contract all sorts of nasties what with all the dead mucking about. Would the liches cast a spell on each individual that prevent sickness, or maybe just put a gigantic ward covering the whole continent? And I do hope they neutralize the stench. Oh god, the stench.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:19 No.2600522

    This is a hilarious idea and you should feel hilarious.


    Maybe for the same reason that your standard wizard teaches new apprentices the ways of magic, except not for the "I want to pass something on before I die" reason. More like "I'd like to abuse some people and reward them for suffering."
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:20 No.2600525

    >undead House.

    OK that settles it. We need stats and a pic of this dude and I'm gonna use him in my D&D game somehow. Character is too awesome to waste.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:20 No.2600533
    The fact of the matter is that they have a bitching library and no one bothers him. Plus he has tenure.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:21 No.2600537
    He bristled as the heavy plate armor chafed against his skin.

    The paladin had been in his army for almost three days straight now. The clerics had been feverishly working to open a hole in the magic wall that the evil undead had erected to defend the beaches. Since they were unsure as to how long this would take, the soldiers had to be in full combat gear and ready to go at any moment. The wait was wearing on many people's nerves.

    "ATTENTION!" An voice blared over the gusting winds and rolling waves. "The clerics say that the wall is almost down! Get ready to land on the beaches! By all that is holy, this day shall see the end of the abominations that blight this world!" The speaker was one of the higher-ranking paladins, in charge of several others in an unusually organized grouping of squads, designed to promote maximum effectiveness with minimum soldiers.

    He sighed. He had tired of the rhetoric of the speakers two days ago, and went back to steeling his resolve for the fight ahead. He peered over the waves, through the rippling waves of magic, and saw the landing zones covered in undead of all kinds, armed to the teeth, with fortifications all around.

    This was going to be a rough battle.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:21 No.2600542

    Embalming is your friend. Also, I imagine people will develop various antiseptics to clean themselves of the rot and disease that the dead bring.
    >> Agent Orange !VMI9Yqtp8w 09/17/08(Wed)16:24 No.2600553
    Keeps his rad office.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:28 No.2600579
    (switch viewpoints)

    He coughed, a dry, rattling noise in his throat. In the hundreds of years of his existence, he doubted he had ever seen a force like this. Armies of so-called holy warriors arrayed in a massive navy, all poised to spew their contents all over the beaches in what was sure to be an orgy of violence. Looking out over the ridge, the lich examined the fortifications covering the sides of the cliffs that led up from the beach. Each tower held many undead warriors and mages prepared to unleash screaming death upon the mortals.

    "Pay attention. This is important." The lich turned his head back to the gathering. Several liches were gathered around a table with a large map layed out in, with figures laid on it, representing both allied and enemy soldiers.

    "With the amount of soldiers the accursed enemy has brought, it is surely only a matter of time for them to push up the beach. We must use this time to slay as many as we can and raise them up. Many of our ilk are already positioning themselves for this specific purpose."

    "We also have placed magical traps throughout the beaches. When the boats land, they will activate and the buried dead will reach out and hinder our enemies' deployment, allowing us to pick them off at a distance."

    Our lich looked out at the beaches again, going over the battle plan in his mind.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:30 No.2600587
    Tomb Kings did good/neutral undead pretty well.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:32 No.2600594
    You know that because he has tenure that they'll NEVER be able to get rid of him. So the faculty mostly just leaves him alone, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

    He's in heaven.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:32 No.2600597
    (switch viewpoints)

    It was going to be very costly indeed. As he surveyed the beachhead, the cleric noticed faint emanations of magical energy. Clearly, the foul denizens had crafted traps to snare them even as they laid foot upon this wicked ground. He would have to move fast to disarm them, but still, many would die.

    "BE READY! WE LAND!" The signal went out, and the boats shuddered as they ground upon the shore. There was to be no retreat from this battle. To run away from an enemy so foul would mean dishonor in the highest degree. As the landing doors fell, scores of paladins charged out, screaming righteous curses upon the rotting defenders. The cleric hopped out of the boat and made to follow the first wave, only to be grabbed by the ankle. He waved his hand and...
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:33 No.2600599
    maybe he wants to pass on his knowledge to the next generation
    >> Agent Orange !VMI9Yqtp8w 09/17/08(Wed)16:38 No.2600618
    Why bother? Liches are, by nature, pretty self centered. It's the kind of thing that comes with a drive to ultimate power, immortality, and pet zombies.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:38 No.2600624
    (switch viewpoints)

    ...blew it apart with holy magic. The knight surveyed the landing grounds from his position with cold determination. He had carved his unlife from hard work, earning the right to be raised from his grave. He would not let these pretentious invaders steal what he had earned. He saw the paladins felling and being felled, and eagerly awaited his signal.

    "They are nearly at the first line, great one." The ghostly emissary whispered in his ear. "The lich council orders that once they cross that position, that you are to charge the foe."

    "I will, spirit. My troops are ready, and we eagerly await our chance."

    The ghost flew off to report to the commanders, and as he turned again to face the field, the knight saw that the paladins had reached the line, marked by a stone with his personal seal engraved on it.

    "First company! Rise up and charge! Put down those miserable dogs!" At his call, warriors both skeletal and mummified rose up from hiding in the grass, gripped their weapons, and made for the enemy. The knight himself drew his wicked blade and followed after them.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:45 No.2600667
    because after a few hundred years he might have gotten bored
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:49 No.2600691
    (switch viewpoints)

    The paladin smote the rotted create away from him, praying desperately for strength. Behind him, he knew that further waves of men were coming out of the boats, but here, on the front lines, their ranks were quickly thinning. Armies of dead soldiers blocked their way up the beach, and bolts, arrows and vile magics punished them for every inch they took. Still, he was alive, and the paladin was thankful for that.

    Until he saw what was headed toward him.

    The defending monster peeled to the sides to let through what seemed to be a wave of skeletal warriors, wielding all manner of wicked implements designed to deliver death in the cruelest of ways. But amidst their ranks was a sight the paladin had never before witnessed. A dread knight, clad in black steel carved with magical runes steadily marched towards them, wielding a heavy flanged mace in one hand and a short parrying sword in the other. The sight sent chills through the paladin's body, but he uttered a silent prayer and steeled his will, driving his sword into the ranks of the counterattackers. He destroyed several of the foul things, but also took many hits, most of which did not penetrate his armor but the damage was piling up. A glance to his sides revealed that his compatriots were falling. Behind him, the cleric of his division was trying to defend them from the magic being thrown from the towers.

    The paladin saw the knight smash aside the lesser troops to get to the front, and readied himself for the toughest fight of his life.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:53 No.2600714
    what exactly would a lich teach, and would he teach at a normal collage or an arcane collage?
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:54 No.2600723
    (switch viewpoints)

    Knocking aside a lesser minion, the undead knight moved to engage a paladin who had created an empty zone around him. He had selected this paladin in particular because of the way he advanced, headstrong and seemingly unaware of the slower advance of his allies.

    "Mortal fool. Prepare to be stricken down, only to be raised up again to fight against your friends."

    The paladin began to respond but the knight cut him off with a swing of the mace which connected with a pauldron, crumpling the metal as runes glowed, delivering pain to the wearer of the impacted armor. The paladin fell to a knee, but struck back with his sword, intending to cut the knight at the knee. The knight parried with his sword and lifted his mace high above his head to crush the paladin's skull. He swung with great force and...
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:55 No.2600728

    he'd teach almost anything you'd want to know, so long as it was something he himself was interested at some point during his existence.

    and you'd have to hunt him down first, like ancient monks hiding in mountains.

    except he's hiding on another plane of reality.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:55 No.2600729
    probably an arcane college. And he could teach pretty much anything.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)16:57 No.2600741
    Except when he's teaching that one class. Other then that, he's almost impossible to find or track down.

    Reaching him during office hours is probably a quest in itself.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:00 No.2600752
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:00 No.2600753
    (switch viewpoints)
    ...the blow missed as the paladin allowed himself to fall to his side. He was in a terrible position. His shoulder was burning in agony, the armor rent apart by the massive mace of his foe, and he was laying down on the ground, in no position to attack or defend. He looked up in time to see the blade of the wicked knight coming towards his face and he closed his eyes, expecting the end. However, after feeling no pain, he looked again to see the knight grabbing his face in pain. The paladin turned around to see the cleric, hands out and mouthing words to some spell. The paladin took the opportunity to get back to his feet and prepare to strike down the knight, only to have his luck run out as a bolt from a tower catch the cleric in the throat, ending the spell on the knight.

    There would be time later for mourning, but the paladin had to focus on the fight, especially now that the knight was no longer crippled. The paladin stabbed forward with his blade, but had it parried again by the knight's sword. He was punished for his attempt by another crunching blow from the mace, and he felt pain ripple down his arm as his armor failed him. His arm was broken, and the magic of the mace intensified the pain. The paladin dropped his weapon and...
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:00 No.2600754
    >I think it would be very awesome for a powerful lich to have set up a cult of living and undead servants to do his work.
    Ever heard of Vecna?
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:01 No.2600757
    There was that lich in one spalljammer adventure who was more like CN. Just an old wizard who died and failed to notice.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:06 No.2600796
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:08 No.2600805
    (switch viewpoints)
    ...The knight on the field decapitated the paladin with a swing of his sword, ending the advance of the first wave. The lich looked out from his tower, overlooking the first and shortest part of the beach. After his skeletal minion had eliminated the cleric, the advantage returned to the knight and the battle was quickly decided. However, the second wave had come up and was encountering little resistance from the beach defenders, which had been winnowed by the first wave. zombies and skeletons all fell to the weapons of the paladins and the spells of the clerics as they pushed forward.

    "You stay here and continue firing. I must go to the next level of defenses and assist there. Focus on the clerics, and cover the knight on the beach." The lich finalized his orders and teleported to the next tower, where he met the lich in charge of the secondary defenses.

    "The first line has fallen, and there are only soldiers in the towers, covering the knight on the field. Begin your phase of the plan. I will go down to the beach myself and deal with these mortals."

    The other lich looked at him. "I wish you luck, but I cannot spare troops to guard your advance. Do not ignore the power of the cleric's spells."

    Our lich nodded and teleported some distance in front of the second line. It was his duty to hold the enemy until the next row was ready, and he began moving forward to assist the knight, who was...
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:09 No.2600810
    I'd like to do a little story for Fantasy D-Day myself, but I'll wait until the other guy's finished. Don't want to clutter up the thread too much.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:12 No.2600829

    Sorry dear Paladin, I will miss you :(
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:16 No.2600846
    ...busy yelling curses at the new wave of foes, who struggled over the bodies of their dead compatriots and the bodies of the defenders. He paraded up and down the line of bodies, dealing death to any who attempted to climb over the final row to engage him in combat. As he butchered the fools, he would occasionally take hits from clerics standing behind the lines, destroying archers in the towers and clearing the way for more soldiers to pour out of the boats. Eventually, the wave of warriors began to arrive too quickly for him to prevent from breaching the veritable wall of bodies, and he was forced to deal with them in combat.

    One does not earn the status of Undead Knight by being a poor warrior. As he parried blows and slew enemies, he remarked at the ease of which these paladins were felled. Perhaps they were simply cannon fodder meant to clear the way for the more experienced warriors. After driving his mace into the skull of a fool who thought to stab him from behind, the knight spun his blade around and cut through another one's neck. It was a poor cut, leaving the unfortunate man to fall to the ground and choke on his own blood. The knight stepped on and over the bodies, threw his head back and yelled challenge to the enemy.

    "Stop sending me weaklings, and throw out someone who knows how to fight! I tire of slaying your fodder!"
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:20 No.2600870
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:22 No.2600889
    An elderly man placed his hand on the shoulder of the head cleric of the next wave.

    "Hold off on your deployment, friend. I wish to answer that monster's challenge."

    "I will wait for you, but I cannot say if you will win. He has slain many men."

    "My faith will guide me to victory. He must not be allowed to kill so many of our younger brothers. I go."

    The paladin jumped out of his boat and began moving towards the knight. His armor, blessed by priests, turned away the magic that hindered the advances. Once he reached the line of bodies, he yelled out his answer to the challenge.

    "Fell knight! I answer your call! Meet me in single combat and let us see who is the better!"

    The paladin began the arduous climb over rock and corpse, and saw that the knight had begun the descent towards him. He gripped his blade and prayed for divine assistance, and barely had time to parry a blow from the knight, who had jumped from a boulder and cleared several meters.

    The paladin used the force of the blow to spin his blade around and struck the knight across his armor, leaving a deep gouge in the armor. Some of the etchings in the knight's armor began to lose their glow as the metal they were attached to was damaged.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:28 No.2600925
    The knight was surprised to feel the runes in his armor weaken and disappear as the paladin delivered successful blows. He shook his head and parried the next swing, and brought his mace in an under-hand swing to strike the paladin's thigh, but his foe pivoted on his foot and avoided the swing, pulling back his sword and thrusting the point forward. The knight was barely able to bring up his parrying sword in time to stop the blow, and readied his mace for another strike, aiming for the paladins arm.

    As he swung, the paladin did something unexpected. He moved into the blow, allowing the mace to connect and shatter his armor, but the knight could see that the magic of the mace did not effect him. The paladin used the opportunity to plunge his sword into the parrying arm of the knight, causing him to drop his sword and pull back, covering the would with his good arm, uttering curses at him.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:34 No.2600963
    The paladin pulled back from immediate danger, seeing that the knight had done the same. They eyed eachother, sizing up the new challenge. The paladin knew that the knight was very skilled, but had not counted on his mace being powerful enough to shatter his holy armor. That he was able to render the knight's parrying arm useless was an acceptable trade-off. He was sure that the tide of the battle was with him, and he charged the knight, sword help up over his head for a downward swing, which embedded itself in the knight's already injured arm. Apparently, the knight had decided that the arm was useless for anything else but blocking with.

    Pulling the sword out, he bent his knees and prepared for another stab, when the mace came swinging out from the right, He twisted his sword and was able to block the blow, but he saw that his sword had begun to crack under the pressure. The weapon of his foe was great indeed. He would have to finish the fight soon, or risk ending up weaponless.

    The paladin decided on a new strategy. He pulled away from combat and began to circle to the knight's left side, where his arm was already injured. He struck out again and inflicted more damage to the arm, and the knight could not turn fast enough to bring his mace to bear.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:39 No.2601005
    The paladin was trying to keep away from his mace, the knight realized. He couldn't turn around fast enough to engage the paladin properly, so he decided to fight like the mindless soldiers of the lich's, and began swinging around in wild arcs, twisting his body to reach the paladin. His efforts were rewarded as his mace connected to the side of his enemy, and he heard the distinct sound of crunching metal and snapping bone. He spun around in the opposite direction and landed another blow on the paladin's thigh, shattering the armor and leaving the flesh underneath bare and red with magic-pain.

    He saw the paladin biting down on a scream of pain, and used the hilt of his mace to strike him in the head, dropping him to all fours. He brought his mace down on the paladin's back, causing him to lose his grip on his sword, which the knight kicked away from him. The knight laughed.

    "Well, it seems that I am indeed the better, paladin. Before I kill you, I must know. What kind of goal did you expect to accomplish by coming here? Do you honestly think that-"
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:46 No.2601051
    Blood dripping from his face and into his mouth, the paladin screamed in pain and hate as he brought up the knight's own sword in his hands, thrusting it into the groove cut by his sword. The knight's blade penetrated past the armor, through skin and sinew, and lanced through the heart, stopping the knight in the middle of his speech.

    The knight staggered back, his sword still in his chest. He looked down at the paladin, who was breathing heavily but had a grim smile on his face. The knight tried to grace the paladin with more curses, but he felt his body grow heavy and his vision went dim, and he fell down into the sand of the beaches, defeated.

    The champion pulled himself to his knees, then onto his feet. He picked up his sword and used it as a cane, and turned to the boats.


    No later than finishing his speech did a great hold appear in his chest. Meat, blood and bone flew forward as he dropped to the ground. Behind him, a lich stood with a hand outstretched. The lich tilted his head and addressed the incoming soldiers.

    "Yes. Come to me. Come to your deaths!"

    Marshalling his magic, the lich prepared to deal death to the invaders and hold them off.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)17:51 No.2601087
    The cleric of the third wave looked out from the boat, and saw the perversion of magic that was the lich destroying the ranks of paladins, flaying them, draining them of blood, shredding their skins inside their armor. Righteous fury built up inside him and he let out a cry as he charged onto the beach, racing to meet the lich.

    He summoned up his faith and let loose a bolt of holy energy towards the lich, praying that it would connect and end the fiend's life. The lich raised both hands and brought them down with speed, and the holy bolt was diverted into the ground where it had no effect.

    Cursing under his breath, the cleric began praying for divine guidance as he stretched out his hand and threw out another bolt of energy, as the lich...
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:02 No.2601158
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:04 No.2601174
    ...Erected a barrier between him and the holy blast, which absorbed it and dissipated from the force. This cleric had some power, and it would not be good for him to toy with him like he had the paladins. The lich reached deep into his power and drew it up, sending darts of noxious power towards the cleric. Should even one of them connect, his life would be over.

    Unfortunately, the cleric was able to deflect them with some form of utterance, and returned fire by throwing down holy energy from the sky. The lich was forced to avoid the bolt and shield himself from the ones he could not avoid. Using his free hand, he sent forth a wave of magic to hold the cleric in spot, and prepared to loose more deadly magic on him.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:04 No.2601178
    ...did the mash. He did the monster mash. The monster mash. It was a graveyard smash. He did the mash. It caught on in a flash. He did the mash. He did the monster mash.

    ...Sorry, couldn't resist.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:05 No.2601185
    sorry for the delay, I had a wall-of-text block thingy happen and had to shorten the posts.

    (switch view)

    The cleric had been immobilized, and could only watch as the lich began a more involved process of summoning his power. Struggling against the invisible bonds, the cleric prayed for deliverance, and slowly he felt the bonds weaken. He broke free and threw himself to the ground, barely avoiding a massive ball of fire that sailed over his head and struck one of the boats, ending the lives of the soldiers in it. He swore vengeance for their loss and charged forward, laying his hands on the lich and releasing a blast of energy that flung the undead mage backwards and into the walls of a tower.

    (switch view)

    Feeling the pain from the magic, the lich pulled himself away from the wall and sent out whips of fire to cover his movement. The strategy worked and he was able to bring himself to a better position while the cleric fought off the menacing flames. Struggling to ignore the pain in his chest, the lich focused his power and opened his mouth, letting out poisonous fumes of poison and decay across the ground and towards the cleric, who had nowhere to flee from this attack.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:15 No.2601240
    Seeing that he was truly trapped, the cleric knelt and began praying to his god, praying for protection and power. He could smell the wave of poison rushing towards him and he put all of his will into his prayers, desperately hoping that he would be heard.

    Suddenly, he felt as though he had been lifted from a great despair, and power filled him from on high. He stood up and threw his hands out in front of him.

    "Not this day, fiend! Your power will not harm me!"
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:16 No.2601244
    (fucking text overflow)

    The poison wave rushed up and hit a barrier in front of the cleric, flowing around and over, but never touching him. The wave passed and dispersed into the air, leaving the cleric untouched.

    (switch view)

    The lich stood still with awe. The cleric had avoided certain death and was calling on some sort of strength. This cleric's god watched over him, and the lich prepared himself for a final attack. He summoned all of his power, every bit of magic in his bones and focused it into his hands. If he could lay hold on the cleric, he would be able to tear the very soul out of him.

    The cleric glowed white as power flowed through him, and the lich's hand emanated a dark glow as he began moving towards his foe. The cleric began running and met the lich head on.

    The lich grabbed the cleric around the neck.

    The cleric laid both hands on the chest of the lich.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:16 No.2601246
    Wait...wtf is going on?
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:19 No.2601266
    goddamn it, now i have that fucking song playing in my head. thanks a lot you bastard
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:22 No.2601281
    Those who watched the battle couldn't tell you what happened, as the competing energies of white and black had obscured this final contact completely. However, when the dust settled and the essence of the magic dispersed one could see that lifeless and pale form of the cleric standing perfectly still, the light gone out of his eyes.

    And one could see the lich, laying motionless on the ground, white energy crackling across his form. They were both dead.

    The council of liches, as well as the clerics of the invaders, took pause and examined the battlefield, clogged with bodies from both sides. The forms of the elder paladin and the dread knight lay strewn in the center of a ring of bodies, and the cleric and lich were as stone, monuments to the struggle which had occurred.

    The cleric of the fourth wave issued the order for the charge, and the lich of defensive line two prepared for the foe.

    The battle would be long and costly, indeed.

    So, how'd you guys like it? My first time writefagging.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:22 No.2601283
         File :1221690164.jpg-(67 KB, 640x480, justasakagi.jpg)
    67 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:23 No.2601292
    It's fucking beautiful.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:24 No.2601297
    other than a few errors in grammar and spelling, it's good
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:25 No.2601302
    crikey. how many waves are on those boats?

    and why aren't mind controlled great sea beasts gnawing away at them.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:25 No.2601304

    All we need now is a good drawfag to draw that final confrontation between the cleric and the lich, and my day will be perfect.
    Would also settle for a knight/paladin fight scene.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:25 No.2601308

    It was good, but the combat between the Cleric and the Lich seemed a bit badly paced compared to the earlier segments. But beyond that, pretty damn good reading. Especially for a first attempt.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:26 No.2601314
    Thanks. I noticed some errors myself, but I get really into writing and my hands get cold and stuff like that, so it can be rough sometimes.

    I was pumped writing this story.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:26 No.2601318
    Remember the Persian fleet from 300?

    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:30 No.2601352
    I'm gonna go ahead and start posting my parallel story, now that the other writefag is done...

    It was night. The clifftops and keeps of the mainland, lit up with torch-fire and the green unnatural glow of magical flame, were filled to the brink with undead warriors. Archer-ghouls, flesh falling off their arms, gripped their bows with a single-minded purpose as their unseeing eyes scanned the skies, their movements directed by the lich or necromantic mage that puppeteered them from within the walls of the castle. They swayed as rows of heads moved in unison, searching for the enemy that was certain to appear.

    And there it was: a dark shape that obscured the moon for a brief moment, then was gone in the clouds. Soon more shapes followed. Wyverns, corkscrewing through the air, twisting to dodge the hail of arrows, bolts and projectiles of magic force that were instantly unleashed at the invaders. Some were hit, and plummeted to the ground, their riders falling to their deaths or staying with their mount until the final crushing impact. But enough of them survived, pressing on, behind enemy lines.

    A wyvern rider plucked an arrow from the neck of his mount. It had embedded itself in a fold of scales, not doing much damage. But he saw that the serrated edge of the arrow was dripping with something. He smelled it; poison. Patting the wyvern, he sighed. It would survive the landing, but before sunrise, it would be dead. And most likely, its corpse would be raised to serve the undead hordes.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:47 No.2601465
    I loved the fight between the undead knight and the paladin. high quality stuff, that.
    you should practice a bit more on the magic, it was a wee bit anticlimactic.

    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:49 No.2601479
    Planets and planets' worth.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:53 No.2601506
    I had problems with the magic because I've never played any D&D or similar game, and I didn't want it to sound too contrived.

    Right into the action eh? :)
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)18:55 No.2601525
    The rider turned to face his passengers, strapped into harnesses on the back of the wyvern. They weren't looking at him, too busy checking their equipment and making sure they were prepared. The ranger pulled up her hood, shivering in the wind as she counted her arrows. The young cleric fingering his amulet, mouthing prayers as he stared into the sky ahead of him. The two knights, oiling their armor and inspecting their weapons with the precise motions of experienced veterans, but still uneasy and silent. The huge barbarian warrior, eyes closed and a relaxed expression on his face, not moving. The rider called out to them.

    "We're almost there! Be ready to get off when we land. I'll need to be in the air soon, go back and help the main force. Good luck, all of you!"

    They nodded in recognition. As the wyvern descended through the dense branches of a forest canopy, the party undid the straps and hopped onto the ground. They did not utter a word of farewell; the sound of voices would give away their location. The rider spurred the winged serpent upward, and the grounded warriors moved through the forest silently.

    No one was in this part of the woods; the coast was clear. They huddled together, looking at the map that one of the knights held out.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:00 No.2601571
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:02 No.2601588

    "Right," the female knight said. "Remember the mission. The enemy has their most powerful scrying stone in this tower," she pointed at the map, "and as long as they have that, they can read our troop movements and know where we'll be landing. We take that out, the fleet can start to move. Everyone knows their roles and what we're here to do, right?" Everyone nodded quickly, the cleric glancing at the others with an anxious look. "Hopefully the other parties made it through and the enemy will move its main defense force at the diversion they're staging at their barracks... graveyard... thing. All right. Riela, you lead the way," the ranger disappeared into the darkness with soundless steps, "Krohne," she turned to the barbarian, his hands resting on the large two-handed sword in the sheath by his side, "you cover us from the back. And keep an eye on Declan, OK? Protect him with your life. He's vital to the mission." She patted the cleric on the back; he seemed to shrink from her touch, a frightened look in his eye as he turned and met the smile of the huge fur-clad man.

    The forest was silent. No nocturnal creatures stirred or sounded as the party approached the keep, the scrying tower rising, a black obsidian hand reaching for the sky. A few times the ranger signalled them to stop, as she carefully stepped around tripwires, necromantic traps that would have raised ghouls, mongrel creatures made from the corpses of forest predators recently killed solely for this purpose. Marking the traps, the group continued on. From the edge of the forest they looked out on the hill that the dark tower occupied.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:10 No.2601661
    Speaking as a real life lich, everything said in this entire thread is bullshit.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:11 No.2601670
    Pics or GTFO
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:13 No.2601685

    The forest was silent. No nocturnal creatures stirred or sounded as the party approached the keep, the scrying tower rising, a black obsidian hand reaching for the sky. A few times the ranger signalled them to stop, as she carefully stepped around tripwires, necromantic traps that would have raised ghouls, mongrel creatures made from the corpses of forest predators recently killed solely for this purpose. Marking the traps, the group continued on. From the edge of the forest they looked out on the hill that the dark keep occupied.

    To their right, a sudden flash of white marked the beginning of the distraction team's attack on the lychgate building where the embalmed, dessicated corpses of the rank-and-file soldiers of the Ablife Empire lay waiting for reanimation. Denying the enemy the chance to use these bodies was another objective of the mission; the loss of material would be felt when the battle for the beaches would commence in the morning. The party heard the horns sounding alarm in the fortress, saw the legion of defending undead scramble towards the burning lychgate complex, necromancer acolytes running behind the animated corpses, brows furrowed in concentration as they struggled to maintain control over a force so large. Above the keep, the wyverns that had dropped off the attackers were now circling, the riders firing large crossbows or dropping alchemical firebombs. White shapes with ragged wings rose to meet the wyvern threat, skeletal reanimated drake-golems, flying corpses with empty eyesockets and sharpened claws. Battle was joined in the air, but the party had no time to look, to cheer their fellow warriors; they looked ahead, at the breach in the keep's wall that they had to reach undetected.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:28 No.2601779

    The first moments as they left the cover of the forest were the worst, their backs prickling with the sensation that they were seen, that thousands of eyes were pinning them to the ground with burning gazes, but that feeling was quickly overcome. Running as fast as they could, the party made it to the middle of the field when one of the watchers in the tower spotted them. The knight-sergeant cursed under her breath.

    There were shouts, and the detachment of corpses on the wall nearest the team aimed and fired bows and crossbows. The two knights and barbarian raised tower shields; as the projectiles rained on the party, Declan the young cleric raised his eyes and made a complex motion with his hands. Mouthing a spell-prayer in an arcane tongue, he vibrated with force that seemed to pass through his body and out of his hands. The reanimated soldiers on the battlement shook and fell, no longer held by magical bonds of unlife they reverted to unmoving corpses. Declan wiped sweat off his brow; the party ran, and was through the breach.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:29 No.2601790
    Great question. Understanding lich psychology is difficult.

    First, imagine the warped perspective of the mortal mage (or heavens forbid, priest) that became the lich. There is little he cannot do alrady. Imagine how being able to control people's minds, teleport around, or incinerate a crowd of people with a few words, would corrupt you.

    Then, as a lich, he has no ability to feel fear or horror, or to sleep. Undead aren't really affected by morale, and stuff like sadness inflicts a morale penalty, so one could argue they barely feel emotion at all.

    Only wizard liches fit into the "obsessive researcher" trope, and even then there's nothing saying they have to research 24/7. Also, there are different sorts of research possible. One might be interested in the mental effects on living beings being forced to life in close contact with the undead; another may amuse himself with summoning mariliths and lillitus and forcing them to become mothers to the spawn of evil dragons. And another might be like a Skubhammer enthusiast, but instead of working on minis conversions, he creates awesome golems.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:52 No.2601953
    So, are the DnD "Good" gods douche bags, or did the undead society do something legitimately wrong?
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:54 No.2601968
    Well I'd guess trapping souls in the mortal plane could be seen as wrong.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:54 No.2601971

    They didn't have time to relax. The keep's defenders knew where the team was, and masses of undead warriors were streaming down stairs to meet them. The knights and barbarian stepped forward, weapons drawn; the putrid ranks of zombie swordsmen drew nearer. The ranger looked up, drew her bow and fired into one of the tower's windows, killing one of the necromancers directing part of the horde, the corpses under his command falling to the ground inanimate as his own life left him, but bolts of dark fire shot out at the party, searing the ranger's arm and forcing her back. The three warriors were effortlessly plowing through the horde of undead, and Declan concentrated, preparing for another spell...

    And then the tide of undead rolled back. The central tower gate was open, and out of it, moving with a deliberate slowness, every step felt in the ground like a deep hum, stepped a figure clad head to toe in black armor, inscribed with runes and glyphs that shone with the sickening glow of arcane power. The figure drew his sword, and as a wyvern fell to the ground behind him, he pointed at the party.

    "You have come to destroy us, to lay waste to our lands and to drive us into oblivion. You have come to rob us of our glory, to erase our knowledge, to defile our legacy. You who have come here as invaders, intending to blind us, I say to you: You shall not pass!" The death knight drew a line in the ground with his sword. "I will not let you through. Face me in battle, and you will lose." He looked around, the helmet seeming to sniff the air, the red glow behind the eyeslits intensifying. "Yes. Because you are afraid of death. And I... I have made death my mistress." He approached the party, sword drawn and menacing each of them in turn. "Now FIGHT ME!" His cry became a chilling animal howl that chilled his living opponents. The knights and barbarian regained composure first; they ran at the death knight, swinging their weapons.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:56 No.2601984
    Didn't you hear? Being undead, a necromancer, etc. is wrong enough to warrant a death sentence. At least, some pieces of canon say this.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:56 No.2601990

    Only applies to intelligent Undead, and that's if the Undead isn't made explicitly by something *else* possessing the body.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)19:57 No.2601994

    END OF PART 1 since I need to sleep. Goodnight, fa/tg/uys. You've been a great crowd.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)20:05 No.2602068
    Dear Writefag, since the topic at hand was a class teaching Lich, the writefagging would be slightly more epic with teacher-like comments from the Lich rather than the old timey, dramatic speech.

    "Class, this is why you stay in school, or you'll spend several months at sea staving off disease and thirst to die for some jerk who won't show up to his own battle."
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)20:06 No.2602073
    Nevermind, too sarcastic for the theme you had in mind.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)20:10 No.2602100

    I'm going to write Lich House later. In any case, the dude was a death knight and not a lich...

    Oh, maybe you meant the other writefag. In that case, disregard.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)20:55 No.2602436
    "It's tomb rot."

    That has to be a line. rofls.
    >> Anonymous 09/17/08(Wed)20:56 No.2602443
    "It's Lycanthropy" is also acceptable.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)00:47 No.2603795
    That's right kids, because anyone who doesn't want to die pass into Oblivion (yes, that's everybody -- your petitioner form doesn't have any memories of life), is a selfish prick!
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)04:04 No.2604781
    actually I am curious how the cleric killed the lich on the beach. destroyed its body? sure, but killed? probably just awaiting a new body near its phylactery.

    Also won't death knights shoot the occasional fireball at their enemies (area) to soften them up?

    And again with an empire filled with liches, why not create a shock team of iron golems and attack the crap out of the paladins and clerics.

    Where is the treachery and cunning liches are known for....
    Or for that matter the elaborate illusions?
    These liches are so far weak and uninspired.
    But an interesting note appears, if there are so many mid-high level characters being used in the attacks, then there will be a severe shortage of them afterwards. Something everybody would exploit.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)04:16 No.2604859
    In some people's views, like warcraft and exalted, death knights are like antipaladins, only attuned to the powers of death instead of the inferno.

    Also, some liches have less power than others. They may be adept liches, warmage liches, shadowcaster liches, or something like an AD&D vassalich.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)04:21 No.2604883
    "lich on the beach" is my favorite cocktail.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)04:28 No.2604931

    Sitting up in his tower, the Demi-Lich known as "Tom" was quietly reading a book on how to do shit without a body.

    Suddenly hearing the long drawn out battles raging below, Tom floats over the the northern window of his mage tower screaming : "SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M TRYING TO READ AND INDULGE MYSELF IN MY STUDIES OF THE NECROMANTIC ARTS"

    Tom then casts Pin to the Sky, reverse the polarity of the planet, and drops a few Hellballs to shut people the fuck up.

    THE END.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)05:16 No.2605245
    Holy shit, this needs to be archived
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)05:22 No.2605276
    Speaking as a REAL real life lich, I recommend not using your glasses case as your phylactery.

    "Maybe it's lupus."
    "It's NEVER lupus."
    "No, I mean Lupus metamorphis. He's a werewolf."
    "Yeah, you see the silver necklace?"
    "...Orcus, I hate you."
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)05:26 No.2605295
    Liches, when LE or NE, act just like Emperor Palpatine.
    When CE, they tend to act like /tg/ on a bad day.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)06:58 No.2605761
    The lich waited. The great sea in front of him and waves crashed onto the beach. There were paladins intruding on this land. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to the lich court were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
    The lich was a powerful necromancer for fourteen decennia. When he was young he watched the zombies and he said to the king "I want to controll the zombies my king."
    The king said "No! You will BE KILL BY CLERICS"
    There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now on the beach head of the kingdom he knew there were paladins.
    "This is the strategist" the ghost messenger whisper. "You must fight the holy warriors!"
    So the lich gotted his zombies and attack the beach.
    "HE GOING TO KILL US" said the paladins
    "I will smite evil at him" said the cleric and he chanted the incantations. the lich necromanced at him and tried to blew him up. But then the sky fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
    "No! I must kill the paladins" he shouted
    The ghost said "No, lich. You are the paladins"
    And then the lich was no longer a undead.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:03 No.2605783
    >Speaking as a REAL real life lich,
    I don't know if I should facepalm or rage.

    Are there any images for... ragepalm...?
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:08 No.2605803
    You don't seem to understand what a "joke" is.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:10 No.2605812
    Oh I understand jokes.

    Such as what a big one your life must be.

    Glasses case? What are you, 12?
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:12 No.2605832
         File :1221736367.gif-(917 KB, 1500x750, 1215881387007.gif)
    917 KB
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:13 No.2605838
    We have an internet tough guy here.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:13 No.2605839
    I don't know what the hell the Lich's are doing holding back in the towers. They could blow the boats up, go down and start killing Paladins left and right. Wait the day or two it takes to revive and then go right back at it.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:21 No.2605866
    a continent ruled by a whole host of liches ought to have a whole heap of gargantuan sea monsters under mind control, or kept close so that they can force them to the surface whenever the need arise.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:25 No.2605879
    One of my favourite NPCs I used in a campaign I was running was a creepy little girl that carried around a skull, and seemed to have incredible magic power.

    Players weren't familiar with L5R, so it took them the longest time to catch onto the fact that the skull was a 'Demi-Lich' (toned it down to be much more in line with a normal lich because epic d20 sucks shit) and the little girl was just a little girl.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:29 No.2605895
    I can't remember which setting, maybe Eberron, has 'Good'-aligned Elven Liches or something.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:31 No.2605901
    You're the guy that keeps making "Let's add little girls to everything" threads, aren't you?
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:31 No.2605904
    He spent most of his adult life at the university.

    He never made friends, or fell in love. The only thing that he ever knew was the dry caress of parchment and the sweet, heady scent of mouldering scrolls.

    None of the rest of the faculty liked him much, save for the generation after generation of stray cats that served to keep the mice from gnawing on some of the more... organic books.

    Before he knew it, his parents had died of old age and the last person who remembered his name faded out of his small, book-bound life. He looked up one day, and saw that his existence amounted to a handful of dust.

    No one knows who the dark visitor was; or the deal that was struck on that fateful night but, quite frankly, no one cared.

    So: he lingers in his chambers amidst his books and scross and the stink of mice and cats. Somehow, being an undead abomination JUSTIFIES and COMFORTS and even QUIETENS the same unhinging terror of a life unlived that served as is only constant companion.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:33 No.2605908
    No, like I said, "Players weren't familiar with L5R" because she was based strongly on Iuchi Shahai, a girl from L5R who found her grandfather's skull, which she started carrying around, and it taught her all sorts of forbidden magic.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:35 No.2605914
    Well what the fuck did she expect, carrying around a skull like that. Just beggin' for the Taint to come in.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:38 No.2605921
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:46 No.2605939
    The writer probably doesn't have a good grasp on DnD rules on Lich's and magic, and that a Lich and a Cleric of equal level are not going to be on equal footing. But dramatics doesn't give two shits how many spells per day you have.

    A properly guarded Undead kingdom would probably have several Rot Golems for breaking those pesky swords. anti-magic circles prepared on the beach to slow any casters. I'm unsure of how long an undead Squid, or any zombie type of undead would last in the water. Though fish bones could last plenty long, and its possible to always dominate/charm a squid into dragging a bunch of Paladins into the water.

    I'm also sure there would be at least one Demi-Lich in the group, and theres nothing like one flying skull and a pair of hands summoning a tornado, or a whirp pool. Or just blasting everyone with Horrid Wilting.

    Of course the paladin ship could always come with a Dead Magic Zone, but thats what Siege Engines, Draco-Lich's, and level 31 Monk/Wizard Lich's who have the appropriate caster levels who want to abuse paralyzing touch are for.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:56 No.2605965
    >Monk/Wizard Lich's

    Sir, please go to bed. I am going to have to confiscate your car keys.

    ...Lich Keys.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)07:59 No.2605972
    >Monk/Wizard/Enlightened Fist Lich's

    Fixed for awesome disintigrating, paralyzing, negative energy punches.
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)08:03 No.2605982
    If its an Umbral creature then it does Strength damage with each punch. Everything would have at best 50 "HP".
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)08:15 No.2605999
    Shit be awesome
    >> Anonymous 09/18/08(Thu)08:16 No.2606000
         File :1221740174.gif-(917 KB, 1500x750, 1216907037425.gif)
    917 KB

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]