Cry.

Kill something.

Go look for her.

>>2464056


get BLAMMED by the commisar for not lining up in the morning parade

Check that she didn't take an important part of my anatomy as a trophy from a "heretic" that she spent the night "purging", which is why she was back so late.

I find the nearest apothecary to do something about my bleeding asshole.

This is a trap. Good things don't happen to me, otherwise I wouldn't be in the Imperial Guardsmen. I report myself to the nearest Commisar and hope that this was just a test.

RUN!
I get the FUCK out of Dodge. Shes probably only going to get her Flamer, and I'll be one crispy Guardsman if I'm still there when she gets back.

Praise the Immortal Glory and Grace of Him-On-Earth for sending one of his Daughters unto me, so that I might know the peace and comfort that is the Emperor's to bestow. Then get my shit together and report for muster so the Commissar doesn't shoot me in the face.

Pinch yourself and actually wake up.

Hey /tg/...
Whats it like to hold a Sororita in your arms?

> NOT purged for heresy.

So what, no sex?

>>2464089
>Get the fuck out of Dodge

Always the answer.

>>2464103
Like holding a wall of muscles.

Go for another go, and do my best to make sure she enjoys it. Sure, we'll probably never meet again, but you never know.

>>2464103
>>2464056
The singular is still "Sororitas", I believe.

Don't ask, don't tell.

>>2464103
go get a bag, fill it with brick, then wrap it in a soft, fleshy material.

>>2464056

I'm a guardsman, so my death is inevitable. My only hope is to stave off depression by finding her and confessing my undying love. Even if she kills me, the Commissar would have seen to that anyway.

>>2464107
You're too drunk to remember.

Are sisters forced to be celibate? I know they are space nuns, but I've never seen fluff reference to sex being disallowed.

>>2464135
The commissar catches you, but stops as you manage to stammer out what errand was so terribly important that you missed role call and thus condemned yourself to death.

With a faraway look in his eye he speaks. "I TOO LOVED ONCE.."

>>2464148
I don;t think so, but with their attitude of "BURN THE HERESY! BURN IT! BURN IT ALL! EVERYTHING IS HERESY!" it would probably be hard to get one in bed.

>>2464153
THEN he shoots you in the head.

>>2464160

if he didn't shoot you in the head, he'd have to shoot someone in the head, its only right

>>2464148
Well, it's pretty clearly implied in the old 2E Codex SoB that Vandire kept them as his personal harem (and bodyguards) during the Reign of Blood. Then they turned on him after being shown ZA EMPRAH by the Custodes and renounced their wicked ways.

>>2464153

I listen attentively and discreetly straighten myself up.

>>2464154
Nah, you make a Sororitas come, she'll follow you around praising you like a Thorian Inquisitor.

>>2464160
"LOVED SHOOTING SHIRKERS IN THE HEAD! LOL! I LOVE MY JOB!"

>>2464173
>Thorian

UH OOOOOOOOOOOOOH

>>2464056
I make her the best damn breakfast I can. Pancakes, Bacon, Eggs, the whole nine yards.
Then I pray to the God Emperor that she doesn't kill me and gives me a note to excuse me from getting shot in the face by my Commissar.

"PRAISE THE EMPEROR FOR HE IS GENEROUS AND JUST"

Then back2/cannonfodder/

>>2464185
What?

>>2464056

I check my I.G. handbook to see if being a lesbian is heretical.

If so, I report to my Commissar for summary execution. If not, I continue about my normal duties. If the Sister decides to continue this relationship, she already knows where my bunk is.

>>2464173
I'd imagine it would be weird for the guardsmen to be doing training and constantly see a single Sororitas just staring at him with a longing look in her eyes. Just staring. all day. JUST STARING.

>>2464202
Enjoy your mindslaves.

>>2464205
I don't think you are a girl. Enjoy your penis.

>>2464187
Would that work?
"Excuse me, Sir? OH EMPEROR DON'T SHOOT I HAVE A LETTER! Its from a Sororitas!"

>>2464214

It's a hypothetical situation, so I am hypothetically a woman.

I gotta get my fap on after all.

>> The commissar catches you

I dun care for no fuken comissar mate, I'm Sly Marbo.

Since they are raised from lolis to be fanatical killing machines with tits, I doubt they would even have an inkling as to what sex is, other than lust = Slaanesh = PURGE FOR DA EMPRAH.

>>2464208
She could be mai waifu and fight alongside me. In front of me, preferably with that armour of hers.

I wonder how the fuck I got here to begin with, I'm a traitor guard.

>>2464226
I'm hypothetically KICKING you IN THE BALLS over the INTERNET.

Are you hypothetically FEELING my FEET shattering your NUTS?

>>2464252
Check your asshole for krak grenades.

rolled 11 = 11

>>2464262

Search check

>>2464252
STRONG LIQUOR!

Just trying out the dice thing lol don't mind me

>>2464103
Like a corpse, but warmer.

>>2464160
With his OTHER gun, I suspect.

>>2464265
You find a small circular object in your anus. Your place your finger through the loop and pull.

Roll 15 or higher to realize what you are doing before you are done with a -2 modifier for hangover.

Pay no attention to the guy rolling dice

rolled 11 = 11

Damnit I did it wrong, lemme try again

>>2464274
beautiful

>>2464228
'Ooops, sorry sir'

If Sly is present in a deathworld veterans list, when rolling for 'ooops, sorry sir', the commisar will be removed on a '1 - 6' instead of the usual '1'

rolled 66 = 66

>>2464274

rolled 4 = 4

If I succeed, I toss them to a nearby low-rank guardsmen for disposal. If he protests I point meaningfully to the nearby Commissar.

If not, I run towards the Commissar and give him a hug before I explode.

>>2464298

Shit. Kaboom. I have no regrets.

>>2464306
They were actually anal beads.

>>2464056
I say my morning prayer then drink some more.

>>2464309

Well, I just pulled anal beads out of my ass and hugged the commissar. I pray to Khorne for his blessing as said Commissar pulls his gun on me.

>>2464309
I don't know why, but that in my anus seems worse to me than a krak bomb.

Rape the maids.

>>2464320
Probably because the beads are designed to go out after they go in, whereas if a krak bomb goes in, you have a LOT of problems, the first of which would be just exactly HOW the krak got in there.

>>2464056
THats an easy one. After I get dressed I just watch what happened in my helmet camera.
I had to have done something right for her to spare me.

>>2464298
Congratulations. You just pulled anal beads out of your ass and threw them at your friend. And then you cuddled with commisar.

>>2464340
you see yourself weeping into the Sister's breast about your insecurities and fears. Weeping like a baby.

>>2464318

Khorne, because you are so utterly fucked, decides to to make the most of the situation. Your anal beads are filled with his awesome rage.

TRAITOR GUARDS GETS EQUIPPED WITH: CHAINAL BEADS!

>>2464358
And what's she doing?

>>2464358

... I destroy the evidence. No one will ever know that I hate my mother and wish I had sucked my father's cock before joining the IG.

>>2464345
gayer than when gay came to gay town and said, "hey have you seen that gay?" "yah he is totally gay" and then the had gay sex in gay bar with their gay firends.

>>2464370
petting your head while telling you drunkenly how the God Emperor will makes things right.

>>2464370
Holding you, LIKE A BABY! YOU BABY! SHE LET YOU LIVE CUSS SHE FELT SORRY FOR YOU! In bed with a Sororitas, and all you did was CRY LIKE A GIRL!

Seriously though?

I doubt a Sororita would actually get drunk to begin with. And even if, by some foul warp magic, she does, then I think she'd be so confused and scared in the morning that she'd forget all about PURGING and fuck right off to confess or something equally pious... Like setting her vagina on fire.

>>2464370
Laughing. Laughing at how fucking pathetic you are.

>>2464381

So the only woman in that bed was the male I.G. Go figure.

>>2464387
THIS PROMETHIUM DOUCHE IS VERY CLEANSING

>>2464380
That would be awesome!
Face full of Sororitas boob, comfort in the GRIMDARKNESS of the future, and I'll bet we ate cookie dough ice cream after!

>>2464387
I think she'd just cut it out screaming that every Sister has a heretical, warp spawned abomination growing from her.

>>2464396
no, you both passed out soon afterwards.

>>2464396
Yes. Maybe I didn't fuck a sororitas, but I found LOVE. I'm happy

Turns out we just talked, watched some movies, ate some pop-corn and traded numbers for a later time.

>>2464403
meh, I still got comfort and companionship, even for a short while.
I thank the God Emperor for bestowing these gifts unto me.

>>2464056
I go back to my unit and brag that I banged one of the Emp's whores.
Then I die a mysterious, fire related, death.

Clearly I need to grab my lasrifle and go search for her. I will ignore all my duties and avoid imperial presence. When I find her, I will wait for an opportune time and fire my weapon at her head. With her dead, I will put the weapon in my mouth and pull the trigger.

Heresy averted.

FOR THE EMPEROR!

You're a Sororitas, stumbling drunk off your ass back to your abbey.
On your way back, you encounter an equally drunk Imperial Guardsman and you both end up stumbling into his sleeping quarters.
You wake up the next morning to find yourself alone and no signs of having purged heretics.

What do you do?

>>2464409
No, you found PITY.

Trust me when I say there is a quite a difference.

>>2464428
Burn the place down.

>>2464428

I consider the circumstances carefully. There's a twenty-five percent chance that the guardsman is already dead and that I've already spread his ashes. On the other hand...

>>2464428
Kill everything that isn't one of your Holy Sisters within a 500km radius. Fire is always the answer.

>>2464428
PRAY FOR THE GUIDANCE OF THE EMPRAH AND GET SOME TOAST BECAUSE I'M A LITTLE FAMISHED.

>>2464428
do I still have pants on?
If not, I pray he did NOT record it.

>>2464444

You are praised for being thorough in averting heresy, then strapped into a Penitent Engine for wasting the God Emperor of Mankind's resources.

>>2464446
instead of toast, you find pancakes, eggs, and bacon. along with an IG praying you don't kill him and you give him a note excusing him from being shot in the face.
>>2464187

If I were a guardsman, I'd thank the Emprah for blessing me with some action, then get to morning parades double time.

>>2464447

The only thing you have on are purity seals, which seem oddly tarnished.

>>2464056
I die from joy on the spot..

Sigh.. Sisters of Battle..

EEEEEEEEEE!

>>2464464
At least we used protection.

>>2464428
At least it wasn't one of those Frat Boy Space Marines!

Thank my Inquisitor.

There were victory celebrations, that much I can remember. The sort of debased, bottom-scraping indulgences they never let us have back before we became traitors. The alcohol flowed, and if some guy or girl in the Rivers strayed too far from a group they usually disappeared. Then the blood and other body fluids flowed.

I woke up on some busted old bed in the remains of what was the Planetary Governor's palace, some of my blood-and-filth encrusted clothes half-draped out a nearby window. My head was ringing and as I groaned and rolled to my left, I came eye to eye with what I thought was one of those Sororitas. For a moment my heart skipped a few beats, and I damn near made a mess of the sheets.

It all came back slowly. She was one of those holy ladies once, but she realized she liked burning and cutting things more than actually praying. Now she was just like me, only with more tattoos to Khorne and a rusty nail put through her lip.

"Hey there beast" that fallen lady grinned, before kissing me on the cheek and giving me a big ol' scar in the process with her 'jewellery', "You guys were phenomenal"

"'You guys'?" I groaned out, whilst rubbing my cheek. It was then I became aware of a shuffling behind me, and hurriedly I rolled over.

There was Khârn, still in full armour, reading a newspaper that was a week old, a cigarette jammed in his helmet's respirator.

"Heck of a lay" the fallen sister remarked.

>>2464488

Kharn: He's an alright guy

>>2464488
Kharn, too manly for pussy cigarettes.

>>2464488
Oh Kharn!

*laugh track*

>>2464488

Fist bump with Kharn, FIST BUMP WITH KHARN

>>2464488
That scene will forever be etched on the insides of my eyelids.

>>2464501
Warhammer 40,000 is filmed before a live studio audience.

>>2464488

I wish I were a drawfag so I could immortalize this...

>>2464504

You fist bump with Kharn, shattering your arm. After putting his cigar out in your eye, he suggests you go get him a cup of coffee while he finishes this bitch off.

>>2464488

>>2464517

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

SIR, YOU'RE THE FUCKING MAN, 'SCUSE ME WHILE I DIE ON THE CARPET

>>2464517
And he doesn't have his own variety hour show WHY exactly?!

>>2464505
I wrote it, and I'm not even going to bother thinking about how the whole thing came about. It's one of those things, I guess. One of those glorious things.

>>2464538

It's Kharn and Unnamed Traitor Guard. This shit just kind of happens when they get together.

>>2464538

It's called genius, my friend.

It's called genius.

>>2464548
I dunno, UTG's performance this season isn't nearly as good as last season.
Maybe its because he's no longer new to chaos, but i dunno, I like him better as a bumbling new guy.

>>2464548
And then after that it's a quick visit to whomever is the Red Rivers medic at the time.

>>2464538

Well done, regardless.

WOOOOOOOOOOOO! PARTY! *glug glug glug* WERE ALL THE IMPERIAL MENS AT? COM'ER GUARDSY BOY! TAKE LOOK AT ME SISTER HERE!

>>2464556
I would slide it more in with the other side of genuis. Madness. Mind rotting madness.

>>2464557
Can you really call it bumbling when most of the accidents horribly mangled him and were a direct result of Kharn encouraging him with nudges and high fives?

>>2464594
Kharn may be a heck of a guy, but you can't trust him to have YOUR best interests at heart.

Yeah, the guy is more of just Joe Average who happens to work for Chaos, and amazingly lucky in that Kharn has not chosen to kill him so far.

I'm sure the rest of the Red Rivers company would give him shit about being a bootlicker if any of them lived long enough.

Idiots, Imperials didn't have that much stuff like alcohol or whatnot, and especially not guardsmen or sororitas. - -'

>>2464608
Oh, they like the big guy too. I mean, you can't get much more of an honest guy than Kharn. He's never a dick about being superior to them, he wears his heart on his giant chain-axe, and if he kills you? You just got eviscerated by THE champion of Khorne. That's a big deal! Most Traitor Guardsmen die of worse or in ignominious circumstances.

>>2464616- -'

ಠ_ಠ

>>2464616

Who needs alcohol when you have THE EMPRAH! I don't drink because I enjoy it, I drink because I want to escape from reality... a reality devoid of chainswords and galactic genocide.

>>2464616
Sure they do! How else do you explain Commissars in tanks waving their chainswords around from the turret hatch?

>>2464645

Ever heard the phrase "drunk with rage?" Well, sometimes it's literal.

>>2464655
I always thought it was drunk with SLAUGHT.

>>2464645
Few people know this, but actually Commissars possess what is known as the 'Pure Awesome' gene.

Sorta like the Pariah gene, but not disgusting beyond words. It allows them to do shit that, no matter how stupid, will always seem incredibly awesome.

>>2464488
oh five stars, old pasta made new, praise the gods

I head-butt her.
I've always wanted to head-butt a Sororitas, just to see the surprised look on their face when they oh-so-delicately touch their busted lip.
"How the fuck... oh, right... no Iron Halo"

>>2464700
Enjoy your death at the hands of battle hardened muscle girl.

>>2464676
We're currently working on getting that gene extracted and implanted into guard forces, to improve combat effectiveness.

>>2464729
Two Words: Worth It.
I mean, fuck I'm a guard right? Need mah lulz.

First off I'd be a Chaos cultist or a Techmarine .

Second I'd do her up the ass and keep her on a collar for more great loving.

>>2464793
I'd make sure the leash attached to the collar was both short and attached to something firmly staked into the ground, if I were you.

So I roll out of the bunk and try to stand, which is difficult because at this point my pelvis is like so much gravel. So of course I fall over and Kharn gets a big laugh out of it, not being a dick about it or anything, just laughing so hard that the cigarettes jammed into his helmet's grille shoot across the room.

Nice thing about being shot through the arm with a cigarette is that aside from the ash it's essentially a self healing wound.

Anyway, so as I'm stumbling across the room to find some tweezers so I can pull Kharn's cigarette butt out of my bicep I nearly slip on an Imperial issue rubber. i figure it's gotta be mine but when I go to pick it up Kharn grunts, points to a tied off trash bag over in the corner and jerks his thumb at the door.

So I hall my jacket and the trash bag outside. Thing must have weighed a good 40 pounds. Always a little tidy I opened up the bag to toss in my rubber and be done with it.

The Rivers medic at the time couldn't tell me how exactly those nurglings got into the bag, only that I probably should have guessed that Kharn uses double reinforced trash sacks as condoms before I opened the damned thing. Popular theory is that they weren't even nurglings, just Ol' Kharn's sperm spoiling for a fight as soon as they got out.

Sure enough the big Red Guy came in through the back wall of he infirmary a couple days later. Shook my hand and told me how sorry he was about the whole thing. It does the Rivers medics real credit that they managed to reattach my arm so quickly. That Kharn, he's a heck of a guy...

>>2464777

Ever considered she might actually like it to the point of keeping you alive just so she has something to "relieve tension" with?

>>2464870
Awesome.

Though I sorta feel sorry for Chaos Sororita's vagina... Or arse. Kharn strikes me as a 'strait through the back-door' kinda guy.

>>2464882
God I hope so. I could show her my mechandrites if you know what I mean

She stumbles in, dancing the giddily abstracted hop of a hangover trying to put on its underwear. She succeeds and, righting herself, turns to see that you're looking up at her through bleary eyes. "Umm.. Ave, fellow soul-before-the-Emperor. ...You're awake." A little stunned at the redundancy of her own greeting she wobbles and promptly sits down on the end of the bed. There is a long pause. The Hive-dock still sleeps in drunken stupor, but down in the street roadcars and servo-skulls scuttle about their morning errands.
"Maybe we should.. urh.. you know?"
"Know what?" you reply after another long pause.
Under the ruffled feathers of bed-hair the Sororitas white cheeks redden, her hands rubbing aimlessly across her bare and swollen breasts. "D-Don't make me pull rank, Guardsman!"

>>2464870
Kharn-writer here!
Not bad fella, not bad.

>>2464870
Toasting in an epic bread.

>>2464896
merely a student at the foot of a master, fellow writefag.

>>2464904
... sorry about the smell. I don't change socks that often.

>>2464893

>>2464893
Ah, the morning-after round II fuck. The socially acceptable way to express gratitude you didn't bring home someone hideous.

>>2464915
>The socially acceptable way to express gratitude you didn't bring home someone hideous.
Also an equally acceptable way to express relief.

>>2464923
Same kind of feeling.

>>2464056
I wake up to find I am a woman.

The Sororita was just THAT fucking manly.

>>2464893
Her lip quivers for the barest of seconds, betraying a subtle loss of nerve.
"I...I'm not trained for this situation." she stammers. Small wonder, a quick review of helmet footage from her Sabbat pattern helm at the foot of the bed reveals that you had to help her through much of last night's proceedings. She blushes and turns away just as the two of you begin to get into the swing of things.
"What's the matter, you didn't like it?" a little more of a goading tone then entirely necessary in your query.
she pauses before turning back to you quickly, breasts swaying pleasantly enough to almost distract you from the fact that she's staring melta blasts into your eyes.
"Not at all..." she smirks as she forces you to the bed, a hand on each shoulder, making bruises on top of more hand-shaped bruises. "The problem is that I think I liked it quite a lot."

>>2464929
Hydraulics RISING!

>>2464929
I feel my nether regions fill with the warmth of the Emperor's Love.
Please, continue the sermon.

>>2464936
No, you're just standing to close to the Techpriest, sir.

>>2464089

so i happened to pass by.

>>2464938
Maybe it's the crotch tattoo but I can't help picturing her with an erection.

>>2464938
I wish I could find a lady who would purify and sanctify her nipples for me.

>>2464938
Is that a...a...

A DOUBLE flamer?

>>2464929
at least one part of your anatomy is ready for drill inspection, standing quite erect and at attention, ready to receive orders. You stare down you stomach, discovering a litany of bruises and scratches making purple backed spiderwebs across your chest. Your eyes follow you manhood up to her quivering center. Her anticipation is forming in rivulets down her taught thighs. Tiny streams run down the valleys between great bunched cables of muscle, a bead forms on her engorged clit and seems to drop, in slow motion, onto your cockhead.

>>2464952
Just take a mug you...

>>2464945
Gay

>>2464938
Praised be the Emperor!

>>2464945
DOUBLE PRAISED be the Emperor!

>>2464954
Her abdomen is like a rock, some of the muscles charmingly crooked or pushed out of place by old scars. Her body softens ever so slightly towards her not-to-ample bosom. For the first time you notice red circular marks on her shoulders and neck. Realization hits suddenly that those were indents left by human teeth, yours. You can barely raise your forearms enough to grasp her elbows but she follows your lead and lowers her face to yours. Your lips part and grip, tongues slithering hungrily. Her wet snatch leaves a sweet smear across your pelvis, matting you pubes down as you grapple. Her hips buck and you can feel your cock nestle warmly into the cleavage of her sculpted buttocks.

What the hell happened? Is it an impostor or is our writefag one-handing it all of a sudden?

>>2464990
I think there's been multiple collaborators.

>>2464990
Who cares, I'm stroking my harbl as we speak.

>>2464990
Many writefags have graced this thread it seems. Just roll with it.

>>2464999
>>2465000
>>2465002
Seems to be the case.

I thought all SOB were pedo's. Y'know. All that shota porn they keep and all those 'new initiates' they're prowling orphanages for.

>>2464990
It took a sudden turn into tasteless Imperial Penthouse letters, with none of the verve or lyrical quality I'd come to expect.

Maybe I'll come back on at work tonight and take my turn on the Fleur-de-Lys.

>>2464938
One handing a heavy flamer...impressive.

>>2465018
Death by multimelta. fucker won't know what hit him. But he'll die knowing what it is to fuck an amazon! Unlike you anonymous!

>>2465021
Is anyone else laughing at the irony of this comment?

>>2465016
Kharn-writer here. Just be glad I'm not the one writing it.

Patience, my penis...

>>2465021
IT'S A HEAVY FLAMER YOU TEN ASSED SHIT CLAMPING DICK SELF!

>>2465025
You're not alone, Techpriest.

>>2465031
HOW ABOT I CLAMP ON YOUR DICK YOU FUCKING FUCK!?

...Wait... Whut?

>>2465031

that is correct

>>2464990
actually both, first bit of E-Lit i've ever done here

You gasp for air and she notices her striving is having a detrimental effect of your diaphragm. For a moment her grip loosens and you push yourself up into a half recline. Your hands wander, one finding the back of her head, grasping at fistfuls of hair while the other clenches at one globe of her perfectly formed ass. She is content to let you tease her diamond hard nipples for a short while before she suddenly grabs your shoulders like they're the Oh Shit bars in a flipping Chimera. You cry out, first in pain, then surprise and pleasure and she impales herself on your waiting pole. She grinds, circling her hips. She begins to buck and twist, moving from her abdomen. You dick bends and you find out why she had so many bite marks on her shoulders as you immediately sink your teeth into flesh. It's like biting into skin stretched other armor plate. She grimaces and picks up speed, her own eagerness providing slick lubrication. Her loins have all the heat of an incinerator beam and her inner lips seem to grip like a suctioning vice.

>>2465044
Delicious Sororita, must eat.

Omnomnom

>>2465044
eh fuckit, someone with more experience can take it from here. I tried writing from personal endeavors but I've never even been close to rough enough to do this justice.

>>2465052
KEEP GOING ASSHOLE.

>>2465041
I will admit they look fairly similar from the side, but come on, you even drew flames coming from it.

>>2465044
>Oh Shit bars
Got me laughing pretty hard.

>>2465052

god damnit anon

finish what you started

>>2465044
+Warning. Oil pressure reaching critical levels+

if this isn't on sup/tg/ and having a second or third thread when I wake up I will be very disappointed, we have Kharn, Unnamed Guardsman and Adeptus Pentwhoritas for The Emperor's sake!

Needs a rear attack for more effectiveness.

>>2465052
Keep going.

>>2465044
>she suddenly grabs your shoulders like they're the Oh Shit bars in a flipping Chimera

awesome.

>>2465059
>>2465056

I'll try

Her stamina is incredible. You've seen Ork charges and 3 year sieges, but nothing compares to the terror this woman is to behold, writhing as if possessed right on top of you. She is slightly shorter than you and you manage to find the leverage on your elbows to flip her onto her back. You follow her over with hardly a lull in rhythm and begin thrusting as best you can. You feel the pressure building at the base of your shaft at around the same time you realize that the barking noise you're hearing are her shouts of ecstasy when she's not trying to take off your earlobe or dig a trench line into you striving back with her fingers. She swings her legs up and clamps on. You finish against the hab wall, hammering her back into the plaster as ropes of semen drip from her hole. Just as you both begin to catch your breath the hab door comes off at the hinges, revealing an irate regimental commissar.

>>2465090
HHAHSAHHRDH!

>>2465090
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>2465090

>>2465090
What a way to go.

>>2465090
For reasons you cannot begin to fathom there is a smirk on your Commissar's face as she reaches for her holstered lasgun. You still aren't sure what's going on when she unbuckles it and lets the entire holster and belt fall to they floor. It's only when she begins to unbutton her great coat and tosses of her Death's Head cap into a corner that you realize that being shot in the face might be favorable to what comes next.
"Well Sergeant... you've preformed admirably in the fields of evasion and flanking, but how do you preform when facing two opposing forces with no reinforcements?"

>>2465112
...

Fucking... Jawesome.

>>2465112

I can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

> this thread

>>2465112
RAEP TIEM!

>>2465112
with a twist, I think it's fucking awful but then again it's my first, go running to Xom or Thri-Keen boy if you want quality, I'm good at "verb-adjective-synonym for dick"

>>2465112

>>2465090
Oh hi Commissar. I was just... showing her how... bionics work?

>>2465090
Looks like it's time for PROMOTIONS! Grand stuff, writefag.

>>2465112
Holy fucking shit.

Female Commissar..... By the Emperor... NO!! NOOO!!

IT CAN'T BE!! ITS FASTER THAN YOU HAS SHARP CLAWS AND TEETH!

>>2465112
This is going to be a BAD END. So much good has to end in some kind of mutilation.

>>2465150
Lowly Unknown Guardsman becomes a dreadnaught for his services to the Emperor. Anything else is BAD END

>>2465112

...Proceed.

wow, some nigger had better be archiving this shit for posterity. hadn this fucker out as a pamphlet and Guard enlistment wouldn't even need to be compulsory.

BUMP

>>2465112
If its this then I take the Laspistol and blow out my own brains