Grandpa, your arms are on the wrong sides...

God dammit, go back to sleep Tankred or you don't get any mashed apricots.

seriously, have a wiskey and go back to sleep grandpa....

Grandfather, I have some bad news...
You'd better look at this pict-slate...

>>2446399
"Grandpa Dreadnought hits the road"?
>>2446413
That's not Tankred, that's Grandpa.

>>2446426

All you dreadnoughts look the same to me

i havent gotten a boner since the emperor walked amongst men

>>2446411
WHEN YOU ARE EVEN ONE FORTH MY AGE, THEN MAYBE YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT IS ON THE WRONG SIDE!
>>2446423
MY TURNIPS! YOU TOLD ME YOU HAD TAKEN CARE OF THOSE ACCURSED RABBITS!

Having Tankred as your grandpa must be fucking awesome.

Sure, taking him out for a walk might end up with tons of dead people if they give him shit, and tons of criminal charges arrayed againts him, but who's gonna really try to prosecute him?

Plus, I'm sure you'll eventually get tired of listening Imperial Propaganda from him, not to mention endless
War stories.

"Well, boy, back in 40678, that's 1957, for you youngin'...me and my brethren where surrounded on ALL sides by heretics!"

"Again, granpa?"

"Shush boy, Tankred speaks."

GRANDPA I THINK YOUR VOLUME CONTROL MIGHT BE BROKEN. OR MAYBE YOU ARE JUST ALWAYS YELLING. DO YOU WANT ME TO GO HASSLE THE TECHMARINES ABOUT THAT FOR YOU LIKE I ALWAYS DO?

>>2446444
Rabbits yes. Necrons no.
My regiment is pinned down by them Grandfather. We tried to tell you, but you were watching diagnosis murder.

>>2446472
TANKRED IS A BUM!
>>2446490
NOT NOW BOY! CAN YOU NOT SEE I AM GRIEVING OVER MY FALLEN TURNIPS?

>>2446500
There is no time for grief...

Only war.

There is no peace, no respite, no solace, not even the small joy of having turnips.

Face it, old man....It is time for war.

>>2446500

I'm sorry grandpa. Did you want me to help you plant some new ones, or did you want me to go get a couple krak grenades so we can blow the shit out of those rabbits?

GUMPA!

>>2446515
Wow, Grandpa Dreadnaught versus Chaos Rabbits.

Who'll win?

>>2446499
I LOVE THAT SHOW!
>>2446515
TO WAR AGAINST ALL SUBTERRANEAN CREATURES!
>>2446518
FILL UP MY FLAMER! I HAVE NECRONS TO ROAST!

>>2446536

FUCK YES YOU ARE THE BEST GRANDPA EVER.

>>2446532
Grandpa has lifetimes worth of experience and lives in a giant metal can.
The rabbits eat their own poop and can bite og the Imperial Guards' heads.

>>2446536

Time to fill up grandpa's flamer and make sure he's well oiled and ready to go. Make sure to call up the Imperial Assassin Psych Ward next door and let them know Grandpa's about to get all stompy and hurty on some necro-rabbits.

Grandfather, here is the original message
Co-ords are attatched - >>2442319

I wish my granddad was a dreadnought ;_:

You want us to fill up you're assault cannon while we're at it?

>>2446659
THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE TEN MINUTES AGO!
BACK IN MY DAY WE WERE PROMPT IN LOADING THE MUNITIONS!

>>2446736

Did you want to make necro-rabbit stew Grandpa? Or just tear the shit out of them?

Grandfather Dreadnought, why is there an onion on the underside of your revered chassis?

>>2446764
EVEN IN DEATH I STILL SERVE! FOR THE EMPEROR!

>>2446793
Oh shit, He's having flashbacks again! NOBODY LOOK GREEN!

>>2446793
We know, Grandpa.
.

>>2446806
>>2446809

I think he means he wants to make the stew.

NECRO-RABBIT STEW FOR THE GOD-EMPEROR!

>>2446819
sounds oily.

>>2446830

NECRO-RABBIT STEW FOR THE GOD-EMPEROR'S THRONE!

>>2446842
The Emperor cant eat that.

He needs something more...covered in souls.

Guys... Not sure how to say this but... he got outside. And he smashed through the Assassin Daycare center's wall on the way.
Grandpa and a group of Eversors are now running down Main Street.

>>2446860

In that case, PRAISE BE TO THE EMPEROR

>>2446860
KILL THE HERETIC! PURGE THE UNCLEAN! DESTROY- WELL LOOK AT THAT! MELODY'S EARLY BIRD SPECIAL STARTS AT FOUR NOW!

>>2446860
Oh well as long as they don't run though the Manufactoria district....

>>2446860

Oh sweet merciful god emperor.

>>2446885
WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

>>2446885

WRYYYYYY...

WAIT.

INCOMING ORDERS.

FUCKING BLUEBERRY WAFFLES FUCK YES KILL KILL KILL

>>2446910
>>2446917

A female Eversor would fuck like a tiger. Then tear out your heart. Then fuck your heart. But it might actually be worth the painful death. Maybe.

>>2446910
>>2446917
COME LADIES! WAFFLES AND PANCAKES FOR ALL!
GRANDPA YOU OLD DOG! YOU STILL HAVE IT!

>>2446928
I think she'd fuck your heart while it was still in you as well.

I dunno about you, but I hope that's how I die now.

I SMELL BITCHES

>>2446950
YOU COULD NOT GET LAID IF YOU PAID FOR IT! GO AWAY YOU NO GOOD HOBO!

>>2446937
Did we just witness Grandpa Dreadnought pick up not one, but TWO Eversor chicks? I don't know if I should be taking notes or a shower.

>>2446965

IF THIS IS ABOUT THE TIME I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER WITH MY STORM BOLTER, I ASSURE YOU IT WAS CONSENSUAL.

>>2446937
Grandpa, they're behind you, you're talking to a hat stand.

I should be taking notes...

>>2446984

Make sure that you keep grandpa's attention fixed on the female Eversors. Emperor knows what could happen if he gets it into his mind that there are necro-rabbits mucking about downtown.

Quick! denizens of /tg/! We need to make an article about Grandpanought! NOW!!!!

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Main_Page

>>2446979
MY MOTHER HAS BEEN DEAD SINCE BEFORE YOUR TESTICLES DROPPED! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW OLD I AM? I WAS IN THIS METAL BOX BEFORE YOU WERE BORN!
RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!
>>2446982
IT IS NOT NICE TO TALK ABOUT A LADY LIKE THAT! THEY JUST NEED TO PUT A LITTLE MORE MEAT ON THEIR BONES IS ALL!

YOU BLIND FOOL.

I WILL SHOW THESE EVERSOR BITCHES WHAT ELSE MY AUTOCANNON IS GOOD FOR.

Ey yo Grandpa, I'm gonna take da Land Raida out for a spin and pick up some tau bitches along the way.

CRIPPLE FIGHT!

>>2447021
>>2447023

GRANDFATHER DREADNOUGHT, I DETECT HERETICS. WE MUST PURGE THEM IN THE EMPEROR'S NAME. THAN, THE BITCHES!

>>2447023

CRIPPLE FIGHT YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS! CRIPPLE FIGHT!

>>2447032
Ya punk ass, pussy ass Dreadna nigga! neva in yo life yo betta holla at me like like dat, dreadna nigga! Nee I'll pop you trunk out nigga, and you'll be like annanfuanfua

>>2447040

That's not even real language that you are speaking you wanker. Those are barely even words. You're like a monkey that learned sign language but was only taught swear words and gibberish.

>>2447040

TANKRED FINDS YOUR INCOMPREHENSIBLE MEWLINGS LAUGHABLE. BE PURGED, HERETIC.

>>2447040
>>2447021
TANKRED, CAN YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS ONE IS SAYING? I THINK HE HAS BEEN TAINTED BY THE WARP!
WE SHALL PURGE!

>>2446399
THAT'S NOT TANKRED

THAT'S NOT TANKRED AT ALL

WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>>2447040
I take it that you hail from the Adeptus Astartes Homeworld of Nocturne?!

>>2447040
Let me try to translate.

My good gentleman Dreadnaught. You are a coward and the least intelligent form of humanity conceivable. Don't you dare to ever raise your voice at me again, you ignorant canned man.

I can't translate the last bits. It must be some long dead language. I believe the civilization that cultivated it was smote for their heresy by the raw rage of the universe.

>>2447084
Actually that would be me smothering him with a pillow.

It's a reflex. A reflex I carry a pillow around with me for.

>>2447090
Y halo thar Commissar Softy

HERESY PURGED, HOWEVER MY PROMETHIUM TANKS DEMAND REFUELING. BROTHER TECHPRIEST, ACCOMPANY ME TO THE REPAIR BAY.

TANKRED ENDURES.

>__> Is the primitive gone? Did his incomprehensible and overtly heretical speeches cease?

>>2447084
THANK YOU APPETIZINGLY MEATY WENCH!
>>2447102
FAREWELL MY BROTHER! NOW, TO THE PANCAKES!
WAIT... WHAT HERESY IS THIS? THIS BUILDING IS NOT HANDICAPPED ACCESSIBLE!

I hope somebody is doing something about those Eversor. Though I am a loyal servant of the Emperor, they make me uneasy.

>>2447115
Here, put this pillow on your face.

>>2447113
...Uh oh.

Commissar, I am not entirely sure that's-

*blam*

>>2447110
[IMG]http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w139/Cybran/niggachickensports.jpg[/IMG]

I think it went for this.... O.o?

>>2447135
>[img] tags
neeeeeeeeeeeewfaaaaaaaaaaaaaag

>>2447113
>APPETIZINGLY MEATY WENCH

Resisting.. urge.. to change name.

>WAIT... WHAT HERESY IS THIS? THIS BUILDING IS NOT HANDICAPPED ACCESSIBLE!

..Wow.. I hope the owner is insured.

And not inside when Papa Dread blows the shit out of it.

>>2447115
>>2447124
>>2447130
Just imagined a Commissar going "Here, feel how soft this pillow is" to a Guardsman, then *BLAM*ing him through said pillow.

>>2447135
8/10
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>2447130

HERESY!

>THIS BUILDING IS NOT HANDICAPPED ACCESSIBLE!

DOUBLE HERESY!

>>2447135
Nuuuuuuu......I have failed.....

I DEMAND TO SEE THE OWNER OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT IMMEDIATELY! THOUSANDS OF YEARS IN THE EMPEROR'S SERVICE AND I CAN NOT EVEN ENJOY AND EARLY BIRD BREAKFAST SPECIAL WITH TWO ATTRACTIVE AND DEADLY ASSASSINS? WHAT IS THE EMPIRE COMING TO?

>>2447149
Oh shut up with you and your goddamn Heresy!

>>2447165
I'll have a ramp constructed immediately Grandfather

>>2447165
Grandpa, the owner is leaving out the back door and is getting away on a red vehicle of some sort. Now that I think of it, he was kinda green on the skin.

>>2447170

WRYYY?

>>2447182
You'll never catch him. For some reasons the red ones go faster...

>>2447189
Well, he just ran through a paintball game, and now the thing is all yellow. And has weapons.

>>2447182

Just because it's red does not mean it can outrun Assault Cannon Shells.

Especially with an Armor Value of 10

>>2447200
It can, however, outrun Grandpa's stubble little legs.
Sorry Grandpa, but you move very slowly.

>>2447210
Shut up, man, or he'll make go after him. And my bike is at the Techpriest's place.

Never mind Grandfather, theres always next time

>>2447185
...Indeed?

I believe in you, Grandpa!

>>2447210

Wait, did someone forget to reload his Assault Cannon?

>>2447176
IT IS THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING! DID YOU NOTICE THE PARKING LOT DOES NOT EVEN HAVE ROOM FOR ME? WHAT IF I HAD WANTED TO PARK?
>>2447210
THAT IS BECAUSE I HAVE PATIENCE! SOMETHING YOU WHELPS HAVE NOT HAD IN DECADES!

>>2447219
What's the RoF on those things like anyway? Shouldn't that dinky little ammo hopper run out in seconds?

>>2446659

You idiot

>>2447219
The Techpriest emptied it to keep him from destroying his own home, I think. Blame him.

>>2447232
Don't blame him! Blame someone else!

>>2447237
I'll blame you until you put my bike back together. I mean, what kind of asshole takes apart somebody's motorcycle, and mails back all the pieces with a note saying "My best regards"?

>>2447253
Someone who can see how badly you treat it, thats who!
Maybe if you put it back together yourself, you would have some respect for it!

>>2447260
I treated that thing better than my own mother! Last time I saw it, you said "There was a smudge on the leather seat." Fucking asshole, man.

>>2447253

When you get it back together, let's race

jesus christ, all we're missing now is failbaddon

>>2447271
>I treated that thing better than my own mother!
That's what they all say!

...sigh

You'll have it back in one piece in about three days. Hokay?

>>2447287
Alright then.

And just to make sure, if I don't have it back by 96 hours, I'm telling you're coworkers what REALLY happened to the coffee machine.

>>2447294
Did I say days? I meant hours!

>>2447297
Good, good.


...Um, guys...where did Grandpa go?

>>2447294
I TOLD YOU THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I DID NOT MEAN TO TAKE THE EVERSOR DRUGS! I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY PILLS!
AH THE RAMP IS READY! I HOPE THE SERVICE IS BETTER THEN THE DOORWAY!

/tg/'s been infested with college kids....