Candy.

They are filled with candy.

Every type of candy ever made.

Filed away neatly.

>something like this:

"Max, you're in an RPG."

"Dice roll around, randomly deciding my fate. The fall of a d20 could declare if I lived or died. Poorly constructed plots and settings melted under the slightest of scrutiny. A faceless, booming voice declaring without appeal what actions I could take in a situation...

"I was in an RPG. Funny as hell, it was the most horrible thing I could think of."

A pair of glasses with one red lens.

A samurai sword with the symbol from Heroes on the hilt.

A file containing various photos of skeletons. Some looking like they belong to Angels...others....Demons.

A copy of Reefer Madness on DVD.

A small box containing a single 9mm pistol, and 100 bullets of (seemingly) no importance.

An original copy of the Bible, with none of the books removed.

A Simple Smooth Rock

A picture of "The Rock" Dwayne Johnson

A copy of "The Rock" starring Nick Cage and Sean Connery on VHS.

They find your narrative notes in one cabinet "You search around in a cabinet for a while, finding some index cards with seemingly nonsense notes written on them."

Maps of Los Angeles, Hollywood, Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, and other municipalities, tinged with green mold but otherwise unmarred.

A stack of telephone books.

Better yet....no random crap. Just....comic books. Ever....single...comic book....ever.

Make your BBEG Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.

Action Figures of the PC, complete with accessories and full articulation.

A fresh batch of their dead grandmother's cookies.

23 empty liquor bottles from foreign countries.

A copy of Finnegans Wake, with attached notes completely deciphering it.

333 individually wrapped plastic knife-fork-spoon set.

Files that upon closer examination are transcripts of their secret evaluation for psychic pontential at the end of their first week of school.

>>2199735 23 empty liquor bottles from foreign countries.

A giant floppy double-headed dildo.

Inside are hundreds of notebook pages covered with what appears to be license-plate numbers and the make and colors of the cars that carry them, all written in an elegant, almost calligraphic handwriting.

Lists of items found in various trachcans at scores of locations and dates.

Pages that seem to record the routes of pedestrians through the city streets, how long to the second they stayed in this or that store or restaurant, and so forth.

A list of the Holders.

notes detailing their performance in previous gaming sessions, as if they were being watched

huge, dusty books with hundreds of completely blank pages

marbles

>>2199796
>>2199796
>>2199796
>>2199796
This

A mint-in-sealed-box G1 Optimus Prime.

A small child who looks up at the PC who opened the drawer, smiles as if she's just seen the single greatest thing her young mind can conceive of, and then rots away before that PC's eyes. If anyone closes the drawer and opens it again, it is completely empty.

Narnia.

A massive orgy covering the entire bottom of the drawer, consisting of one-inch-high members of whatever race the PC looking in belongs to. Each PC who looks in perceives the participants as being their own race.

Completely useless magic items, such as the Amulet of Everlasting Soap. The wearer feels cleaner than he or she has in YEARS, while in reality still being just as filthy as they were prior to the Amulet. Any attempt to remove the Amulet must first pass a relatively easy saving throw, as they rather enjoy this squeaky-clean feeling.

Scale model of Stonehenge.

Drawer full of bacon.

Drawer full of live ferrets.

A drawer that, when opened, launches an angry cat at the face of the PC who first opens it. This drawer never runs out of cats. The drawer continues launching cats at the same PC, regardless of who opens the drawer or how far the target PC is from the drawer. Periodically over the rest of the adventure, a cat will fly out of nowhere to hit that same PC right in the face, even in subterranean caverns.

>>2199847
What I saw when I read this post:
>Drawer full of live bacon.

>>A drawer that, when opened, launches an angry cat at the face of the PC who first opens it. This drawer never runs out of cats. The drawer continues launching cats at the same PC, regardless of who opens the drawer or how far the target PC is from the drawer. Periodically over the rest of the adventure, a cat will fly out of nowhere to hit that same PC right in the face, even in subterranean caverns.

This! This!! For the love of God this!!!

A drawer that simply leads down into blackness with no visible bottom. If the PCs drop something in to determine the drawer's depth, it simply falls out of an air vent in the ceiling a few minutes later. If any of the PCs are small enough to climb into the drawer, they land in a small rock chamber with a hole in the middle. The only other occupant is an enormously obese creature (whatever would be most suitable, hilarious, and REALLY CREEPY within your campaign) wearing a pink frilly dress, that cheerfully greets the PC. Jumping down the hole results in coming out the aforementioned air vent.

A drawer that contains more drawers.

One filing cabinet full of dwarves instead of drawers.

One drawer that is covered in smiley face stickers and hearts and the like, and when opened it sprays a continuous, high-velocity stream of vomit straight up until someone closes it.

A drawer full of fire.

A drawer full of old, faded pictures of each PC. In the pictures, all but one of the PCs are shown in their old age, with the addition of a few scars. All the pictures of the other PC are yellowed with age, and show the PC in his late twenties. The outside of the drawer is marked "extinct."

dildos

Maybe try to adapt (read: plagiarize) some of the things from the Special Containment Proceedures (assuming the site's ever up)?

>>2199859
That's a good idea too.

One filing cabinet is full of sexual paraphenalia, with the more tame items (novelty vibrators, softcore magazines and videos, lubricant) in the top drawer. As the PCs continue opening drawers moving down, the sexual items get more hardcore; butt plugs, dildos, blowup dolls, bondage straps, whips, nipple clamps, zipper masks, etc. The bottom drawer contains a skeleton in a gimp suit.

Several drawers that speak when opened, each saying things that correspond to the Seven Deadly Sins; i.e., one drawer will shout things like "Bring me seventeen hamburgers," one will shout "TITS OR GTFO," one will shout nothing but threats, etc.

Drawer full of pieces of wood.

Drawer full of pure colour; whoever opens it makes some sort of saving throw against being completely mesmerized by it.

A drawer that contains everybody's pants; once somebody looks inside it, everyone realzies they are no longer wearing pants.

Drawer full of dire badgers that the PCs have to fight.

Drawer that's really a pull-out aquarium.

Make one drawer contain a creepy old doll. Whoever opened the drawer is then followed for the rest of the campaign by this doll. At least once a session have that one PC go a spot check to find the doll, just have the DC be random, so its like the doll is just hiding somewhere in the room. The doll can be found only by that first PC who opened the drawer, but the rest of the PCs can see it after that first one points it out. No matter how many times the doll is destroyed, moved or anything, it always reappears.

>>2199903
Yes, this, except instead of making them spot check for the doll, every now and then when they make a spot check, you mention the doll.

>>2199906
Yes, they just happen to see the doll out of the corner of their eye. And actively searching for it will always fail, it can only be spotted when making a spot check for something else.

A drawer full of small windmills, and directly underneath it a drawer full of dead whores.

A drawer full of beards, underneath a drawer of severed necks.

A drawer that is actually the switch to open a secret hatch in the wall, revealing a spaceship just large enough to fit the entire party. If your campaign has spaceships, it turns out to be either utterly beyond repair, a model spaceship, or it has completely incomprehensible controls. If your campaign doesn't have spaceships, the first button the PCs push activates the lasers, which blow up the opposite wall. After that, they have to roll Fear checks against a MASSIVE DC to try anything else in the ship (or you can just fudge the DC and say they fail regardless).

A drawer full of mustard.

A drawer labeled "NUMBER EIGHT" that belches when opened; inside is a top hat filled with perfume and a single plum.

I remember this sci-fi book about a paranoia style survival bunker complex. Everyone in the bunker didn't know of the outside world and was involved in some insanely complex bureaucracy. The main character was an investigator was following leads on a series strange murders. At the end of the chase, he finds a folder marked top secret, opens it, and it's the book but written as a script. Character reads about himself recursively reading the folder. Book ends there.

a drawer filled with salt, buried in said salt is several very dessicated internal organs

a drawer filled with stacks and stack of jerky, at the very bottom of the stack is a jerkied human face

I drawer filled with neatly filed fortunes from fortune cookies, cataloged by date, some being decades old

one cabinet that is actually filled with bee hives(like bee farming boxes)

in one drawer a small monkey is slouched against the far wall, lazily smoking a cigarette

>>2199847 Drawer full of bacon.
Everyone knows Skunks love free bacon...

>>2199942
Attempts to take the monkey's cigarette result in the monkey attacking the PC in question, taking the cigarette back, and then running away. Throughout the rest of the adventure, treat the monkey the same way as >>2199903's doll.

For added laughs (for you, anyway), fudge the relevant dice rolls so that the same PC opens the cat drawer, the doll drawer, and the monkey drawer.

>>2199934
YOU ARE THE BEST DRAWERS EVER!

thousands of neatly organized salad forks.

At the back of the filing cabinet , buried beneath blank sheets of typewriter paper, is a dark brown book about the size of a photo album. Taped across the first page is a yellowed newspaper clipping with the headline CONEMAUGH FAMILY SLAIN. There is a picture of the Flectcher house. On the next page is another newspaper clipping: SPLANGER RESDIENT KILLED. A mug shot of a smiling middle aged man wearing a tie, the name Ronald Biggs beneath it. On the next page two smaller items; WIDOWER SLAIN and BARNESBORO MAN KILLED. The book is filled with grim reminders of murder: photographs of houses whose bodies had been found, of cars that had been discovered on the sides of country roads, of blankets covering what can only be horribly mutilated corpses. They cover a span of ten year.

A single note with the words "JUST AS PLANNED" on it.

in one drawer there is a bomb
on closer inspection this "bomb" is just a digital clock duct taped to a bundle of red wooden dowels

A drawer with a game of Dorf Fortress running on the bottom. No matter how long the PCs search or how high they roll, they can't find out where the commands are coming from. Later, they encounter a real fortress of dwarves that is exactly like the game they observed, if they were paying attention.

A drawer containing irrefutable proof that seven different conflicting explinations for some famous mystery (Who killed JFK ect.) are all true.

Detailed notes of soft-drink consumption in the PC's hometown.

A small leather bag containing the PC's baby teeth.

A lifetime supply of a famous namebrand cologne/perfume's unreleased scent, with notes detailing how consumer testing showed it to be irristibly attractive to (insert nightmarishly dangerous monster here).

The PC who opened the drawer sees himself staring back. If he looks again it will be empty.

Chewed gum cataloged by date swallowed and retrieved.

A whole bunch of lit firecrackers.

>>2200016
>Small leather bags labeled with the PC's names, containing what appear to be placentas.
Eh? Eh?
Also, how about one drawer, from which water begins to gush when opened. It only stops when they close it, and there is no apparent source (they can see through the water that there is nothing more to the drawer)

A drawer of seemingly ordinary sheet music.
Several options here:
-Only one page, but it's a different song every time it's identified/read
-The PC's favorite songs
-Kid's songs, and the PC that opens the drawer briefly sees a child out of the corner of his eye
-Every page is the music to Never Gonna Give You Up

Filled with identical tan rectangular cardboard boxes, on end, containing files. All the boxes are marked with several sets of numbers. Files on executed or imprisoned people. The boxes each contain several cases.

A piece of fancy parchment up which flowery runes have been inscribed along the border, forming beautiful red/orange stationary.
The text of the note reads: "I prepared explosive runes this morning."

http://www.warehouse23.com/basement/box/

Row upon row, in the cabinets are compact cubes. Each weighs only a few grams, but which contain more information than a million books.

You open another box, and find it full of small fingers. They are all neatly severed, perfectly preserved, and the truncation carefully capped with metal. Every single one, if carefully examined, appears to be the left ring finger from a Caucasian child below the age of six. Even more bizarrely, they all share the exact same DNA.

A clockwork driven brass head that appears to have wound down. When the key is turned, blood spurts from underneath the device, which still does not work.

The blood type comes back as human, male, type O+, and otherwise unremarkable....

>>2200365
Zat you, Patrick?!

Several inconveniently large buildings packed to the rafters with all the useful information in the Galaxy.

You open another box and find a pair of dice with three perfectly flat, seamlessly connected sides

Severed heads of previous foes.

Portrait of the universe.

Directions that lead nowhere.

In the archive, there are technicians, but their linked with their workstations in necomatic fashion.

A note with the words "Congratulations! The Game has Finished You!" on it.

>>2200529

How would the PCs be able to check the DNA of the fingers? Do most adventurers carry around DNA identification kits now adays?

>>2201211
Shadowrunners do.

http://www.warehouse23.com/basement/

I wish for this thread to be preserved forever, so that generations to come may be aware of it's greatness. Also I'd like to be able to read it again.

How might I make this come to pass?

>>2201463
It has already been done by someone
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/2199595/

A drawer full of misplaced objects. Like single socks, keys, etc.

A drawer that cannot be opened.

One drawer filled to the brim with cheeze-its, and the one below that, wheat thins, and the one below that triscuts, and the one below that oreos, and the one below that severed dicks.

A note, detailing the rules of The Game.
Have the characters lose The Game on random knowledge checks.

OP:

Head to /x/ and request for a list of their "SPC Creepypasta." Here's a link for a sample; basically the SPCs are a list of military-classified paranormal paraphernalia.

http://sociopathdaily.blogspot.com/2007/12/creepypasta.html

A discahrged power battery.

A portable hard drive that has been erased.

Thor's Hammer.

>>2199745
If that's where you were first introduced to 23, please leave this discussion. Fnord.

>>2202503
Better yet

http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/Main_Page

A plain manila envelope, already torn open on one side.

The contents are:

a pack of cigarettes
a pair of tinted sunglasses
a bus pass
a diamond ring
a strip of paper with a long sequence of numbers written in a familiar scrawl
a janitor's key
a can of hair spray
a cigarette lighter
a paper clip
a matchbook
a car key with its alarm keychain
a small magnifying glass
a small container of ball bearings
a keycard
a hex key
a coin
a small piece of paper with a crossword puzzle printed on it
an ammo clip
a watch

If the PC who finds it examines the find further, they will notice the following things:

the postage stamp on the envelope has a picture of Albert Einstein
the date on the coin is from one year in the future
and the recepient of the envelope itself is actually addressed to the PC...

Pyramid Head's Great Knife

one drawer loaded with weapons that come from a different game system. if you're playing something like star wars, throw d&d weapons in there; If shadowrun, throw in star wars shit; etc.

A book labeled "The answer to life." When the PC tries to open it, the book is sealed as if it were glued shut. If the PC tries to force it open, their hands get stuck to the book, chinese finger-trap style.

drawer full of tampons and maxi pads. if any PCs are female, they start having their period as soon as the drawer opens. If all PCs are male, they're just weirded out and must make a save, easy DC, to even go near the drawer again.