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  • File :1212302436.png-(381 KB, 960x1320, 4EK.png)
    381 KB Sir Brian Consumpington's Tasteful Emporium of Chique, Well Priced Products Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)02:40 No.1873009  
    The adventurers tread slow upon ground untouched by boot in nearly a century, ignorant of the intricately carved yellow stone beneath mere centimeters of dirt crushed by root and tectonic into the soil from whence it came. The party walks on, ignorant of their slight contribution to this desecration.

    "I'm rolling decipher. I got a three. Is that high enough?"

    Long ago, an antique and forgotten traveler from a distant land (Now swallowed by the sea) had come this way, and in so watching writ long a record of his travels and his high praise of this route.

    "I'm rolling decipher. 6."

    So impressed were the kings of this far off era by his words, they ordered the finest scribes to transcribe it, and set at every entrance to their fine and golden way.

    "Rolling decipher again- 5?"

    The tablets are brief, but within these compacted words are information enough to fill a library, guidance straight to wheresoever one wishes to go along the road, and appreciation for the epic construction beneath one's feet- That is, if one could read it.

    "You can't tell me seven isn't enough?"
    "No, Gods damn it, nine wasn't enough, why do you think seven was?"
    "Well, I mean, REALISTICALLY, it should be getting easier every time."

    The adventurers would be moving a lot faster if one of their party members wasn't hauling a seventy five pound plinth inscribed in inscrutable writing that every fifteen minutes the aforementioned adventurer would stop and try to translate.

    "I'm rolling-"
    "I swear upon every iodine deficient goiter in Africa, if the next words dribbling out of that accursed hole in your face are 'decipher script' I will make you consume your own jawbone."
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)02:41 No.1873015
    >> That Scaly Bastard !3GqYIJ3Obs 06/01/08(Sun)02:48 No.1873036
    >> 4E Bound 06/01/08(Sun)02:50 No.1873045
    Continue your current course
    >> TSEG 06/01/08(Sun)02:53 No.1873063
    Yes please.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)02:59 No.1873094
    "Dude I can get another magic spell or something, this'll help the party, really," The first is the tiefling, his demonic taint made obvious by the horns twisting out of his forehead and the fire within his eyes. He is the one dragging the inscribed stone along the forest trail, and slowing moving to a crawl.

    "Why would a magic spell inscribed on a rock in the middle of a forest?" The barbarian asks this, rounding, his greatsword out in his hands. Unlike the others, there is no glimmer of magic on it- just the chips and dents left by the many dispatched to the afterlife by the blade.
    "I think they did it in a final fantasy," The tiefling shrugged, returning to the stone he was dragging, "by the by I'm rolling-"
    "While he's distracted I'm couping the motherfucker with the flat of my blade," announced the barbarian, rearing back with his greatsword, and cracking the tiefling across the back of the head.

    The creature fell to the ground, limp as a ragdoll, and for a moment, all was well, before it said, "Wait hang on, you can't do that. I'd just be flat footed."
    "True," murmured the dragonborn, which had reclined to watch the scene.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:04 No.1873122
    Khârn glared across the table at Shas O'Kais, "We were so close. So. Damn. Close. We could have gotten the plot moving again but nooooooooooo, you have to help Abbaddon's character survive."
    "His name IS Darkfire," said Abbaddon, as if this somehow made it all okay.

    "Just tell Liivi to blow another sleep spell," murmured Cypher as he shuffled away another three pages of notes on the book he had spent all last night detailing.
    "He got a phone call-"
    "Which cut out," announced the returned Liivi, throwing down his phone with some disgust, "Can't keep power worth a damn."
    "Who was on the line?"
    "I didn't see," murmured Liivi as he sat down at the table, "So, Abbaddon needs to be put to sleep again?"
    "Hopefully permanently."
    "Wait, lemme try one more decipher script roll-"

    Across town, the line went suddenly dead. He had picked up. She had heard him pick up. She stared at the blinking name in despair.
    "Huh, couldn't reach him?" Macha said craning over Taldeer's shoulder, "That's too bad. Well, I can't let my sister be late for work can I?"

    Taldeer glanced behind her, her sister already positively skipping across the driveway to her car. On the dashboard, labeled with pretty pink curly script "Macha's Mix CD <3" waited.

    Another twenty minutes of excruciating Hell awaited. "Damn it Liivi."
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:09 No.1873142
    fuck yea 40k gaming.

    I wanted to see what happens to our proud Space Marine Commander.

    And the Necron. The poor Necron.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:10 No.1873152
    >> God !jKivQN915w 06/01/08(Sun)03:12 No.1873167
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    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:13 No.1873171
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    The Necron Lord shifted impatiently, staring through the crack in the door. The Chaos player was still there, though, admittedly, it had stopped crying. Instead it was just cradling the "lost" piece and shaking its head with a horrible grinding noise.

    Probably, reflected the Necron, running to the bathroom and hiding within it for two hours hadn't helped the situation. It had vaguely hoped that its opponent would get the hint, pack up and leave the game. Not a chance, there it was, sitting at the arrayed armies.

    "Emperor's BALLS, please open the damn door!"

    Then there was the line of customers that were currently sitting outside. Either that, or trying to find the mysteriously disappeared Eliphas to try to wrangle some keys out of him. Nonetheless it made for a chorus of abuse directed at the immobile necron that had convinced itself that coming out now would end with it stoned to death by an angry mob. Or the robot equivalent of stoning. Magnetizing?

    The necron sat against the pounding door. All it had wanted was to play Night Fight. Not play against a person that would break down into tears every time he lost a model.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:17 No.1873194
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:22 No.1873228
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:23 No.1873233
    Commencing fag up in 1 minute should op not return.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:26 No.1873259

    Phase out! Or ask your friend, the Necron Lord of Kaurava III to play Night fight with you.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:27 No.1873265
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:29 No.1873284
    Why do you deny our MOARS... WHY!?
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:30 No.1873295
    "AH DOHN'T KNOW!" Boreale was not one to shout at purveyors of merchandise, and really would have loved to have been able to help in recovering a young citizen of the Imperium, but to be fair there were two things to remember.

    The man yelling at him was the vile Eliphas the Inheritor (Which had always been a strange moniker to Boreale's ears- what the Hell did he inherit then?), a sinister Chaos Lord of the Word Bearers legion, and the second was that he STILL hadn't gotten his space marine bikes.

    "Do I have to do it?" Asked Eliphas, reaching to the table next to him. Expensive, yes, even dangerous- to lead a space marine commander to his back room and the stores therein. But with the alternative facing him...

    Boreale's face twisted into a mask of terror, and tears he thought were long gone brimmed at the edge of his sight. The monster! Boreale reached forward, but immediately Eliphas' hand swept out, snatching the object beyond reach-
    "Dohn't, plehss, I telled you all I know-"
    "I don't think so, Commander Boreale," There was something nostalgic about this, realized Eliphas, and for a moment he was tempted to keep toying with the foolish loyalist, before he refocused on not dying, "I think there remains some detail you're not mentioning!"

    Boreale, driven beyond words, shook his head, eyes pleading...Eliphas grit his teeth, partially in joy.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:34 No.1873325
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    This is my reaction to this awesome writefaggotry.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:37 No.1873347
    What could it be!? D:
    >> I write slow guys, sorry. I always write on a whim without prewriting. Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:37 No.1873348
         File :1212305858.jpg-(442 KB, 1279x1023, BorealeScreamingMoron.jpg)
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    "Ave, Brother Scipio! Ready for the drop today, brother?" the sergeant shuffled along the table to join the other figurines grouped around the drop pod.

    It was all so fast. Too many clustered into one pod, the failure of the atmospheric breaks to ignite, dashing on the concrete floor, and it was all over in a million shards.

    Tears flowed freely, as Boreale fell to his hands and knees, bent over the ruined remnants of Sergeant Vita's squad, of the second company of Blood Ravens, and screamed at the top of his lungs in anguish and grief for the lives of men lost futilely due to their inability to properly enact Operation Steel Rain.

    "What the fuck was that?" Asked Khârn, turning to look over his shoulder at the dreaded back room of Eliphas' store.
    "I TOLD you, healing surge, so realistically speaking that causes the flesh to wrap around your greatsword and-"

    "Now, Boreale- that was a single tactical squad," from beyond the commander's vision, he heard the scrape of plastic being shifted, "How about a dreadnought?"

    "No, no, please," Boreale shook his head, bitter regret flowing through him, "I'll tell you what I know."
    "Hmph," Eliphas kneeled down, victory writ across his face as he had not felt since he had successfully managed to sniper bid a Wallhammer original figurine of Mai-chan in a maid's outfit for only fifty dollars, "Now you break- so tell me, what did you do?"
    "I ahsked fohr spehss mehreens," a pause, "Then she told me no and left."

    "That's it."
    "No kidnapping, no location where she might be, nothing else?"
    Eliphas sighed, standing up, "Well then I'm fucked," he paused, "Epic level fucked, to be specific."
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:38 No.1873356
    Grats on being the first archived thread of June!

    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:40 No.1873371
    Will Lucius show up?

    Doesn't matter, MOAARRRRR!
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:41 No.1873374
    You're awfully quick to archive, aren't you?
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:42 No.1873379
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:42 No.1873380
    When you know something is going to be good in advance, why wait?
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:46 No.1873416
    This is Part 2. Part 1 was incredibly fucking epic.
    Got archived somewhere.
    >> Anonymous 06/01/08(Sun)03:48 No.1873431

    suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com archives

    watch out for naked machine d

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