10/10 A+ would read again

>>1706268

DEM SCORPY BOYZ 'R DED KILLY

Do the other aspects sir, I beg of thee.

is this some... reverse 40k I smell or am I imagining things?

11/11 OP

my scale goes to eleven

nicely done, fine sir.

The picture makes this absolutely perfect.

>>1706337
Nope, just proof that Eldar are closer to Orks than they'll admit. Hell, even their red ones go fasta.

40K manuals written by Orks.

So beautiful.

>>1706324

Footnotes:

Banshees- deyz WAAAGH real big (deyz got big lungz so deyz got big chests), der boss's got a big shiny 'uge supa choppy choppa.
(makes me want to get a hair squig too...)


Dire Avengers- ded shooty. Da boss goes "ey boyz, we NEEDS MORE DAKKA!" and dem boyz go "RIGHT BOSS!! DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!"

Warp Spider- da mekboyz would wanna get der mits on them gubbinz.
deyz got funny guns. it's all like, shooty like see, but den yooz... yooz get CHOPPED see! Not just like one chop, or two, or three or... or lots but LOTS AND LOTS!! and deres no choppa doin da choppin!! Wot da zog!!


Shining Spears- speedy, but deyz stupid, white n' blue instead o' red.

>>1706379
I kind of wish they would make an "Ork Edition" core rulebook. Instead of all the overwrought imperial fluff and writing style, we get to-the-point Ork summaries and orky tales, and instead of dusty cyborgs and skulls everywhere there are colorful renditions of ork kulture.

Fire Dragons- yooz ever seen a mekboy cry? Yoo will when you tumble wiff deez boyz. Deyz got like... burnas, but deyz all tankbusty.

Dark Reapers- Deyz all goffik lookin wiff da black and da skull 'eads. lotsa lotsa shooty dakka. beakies don't like 'em.

>>1706443

and there'd be at least one story that will, before you even know it,
CRY LIKE A MAN

I love you OP, you glorious anon you.

>>1706458

Actually, Orks wouldn't respect Eldar ranged weaponry due to it not having enough DAKKA. In the final Last chancers book, the Ork Hunters on Armageddon use the autoguns over lasguns, simply because the Orks respect the noise an autogun makes over the whine of a lasgun.

>>1706503

But wouldn't they appreciate that it's a shoota that shoots choppy bits?

>>1706536
Maybe, but they'd have to have a slugga strapped to it to make it Ork-worthy in sound.

Don't lizzun ta it boyz, it'za nuvva Panzee trap!

>>1706458
The battle wagon turned hard, an' headed right back toward a 'nuver wagon dat had broken down. Da bugs wuz startin' to swarm all over it.

One of da new Nobz looked up at Zogfist. "Why's we goin' back fer those gits boss?"

Instead 'o krumpin' da impudent git fer kwestionin' orders, Zogfist jus lookd' at 'im like he askd why red goes fasta. "Because dey iz all one o' da boyz. You alwayz go back fer one o' da boyz." He wuz quiet for just a bit, den he started bellowin'. "ALRIGHT, ENUFF MUCKIN ABOUT, TIME TA GET STUCK IN!"

>>1706443
>>1706443
>>1706443

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE

>>1706580

>>1706606

>>1706606
>>1706613

>>1706443
WAAAAAGHAMMER SPACE
FIF ADDITI'N

some orky equivalent to that faggy inquisitor cevazicwhatever that is always "FUCKING XENOS COCKSOCKERS!!"

Da Avatar iz da biggest an' da choppiest, but he aint alwayz da boss, ('anuver reason why da skinny gitz izn't better than da orks). It iz ded killy tho, so watch out. But, if you can get your hands on itz choppa, itd be way better than any power klaw, 'specially if you orked it up some.

Capped for future generations.

>>1706650
Ta Orkz, Panzeez an' Umiez will alwayz be a mystery.
A runty mystery.

OP is fucking awesome.

>>1706443
>>1706638
I'll do writing if someone helps with art/design.

It'd probably be easier if we orkified the Macragge Rulebook first.

>>1706268
Oh shit I lol'd when I actually read this.

Fucking epic. If this gets a bit longer imma archive it.

dem flayed boyz iz ded mad

i know all dem metal boyz is ded weird, but when ya finks about it da flayed ones are da weirdest

dey don't gots no dakka, dat's no surprise because dey's not kunnin' like orks, but usually dat means dey got choppy instead

dey got choppy, but dey don't gots no noise so how can ya tell dey's choppy?

and dey dress weird, like dey want to be 'umies, but if dey want ta be made of meat and not rusty then why don't dey want ta be orks?

OY! Now lissen' up! I know dem Wraithlordz look kinna poncy wif dem long legz an' big 'ead, but deyz ded 'ard. Dey c'n krump a 'umie tank real quick, and often dey 'ave some real big dakka on top! Now all dey need ter be better' is some more choppas on der arms an' legz.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

Vote it up, faggots.

dem tau boyz are right shooty... dey dont use proper Choppas, but dey is still dedly.... When ya charge right at dem, you better bring loadz of boyz 'cuz when ya git colse nuff to fight dem right and propa, ya wont ave many boyz left... And dont try to get shooty on shooty with dem... dey ave these shooty glowy gunz dat are right shooty, and burn right through ork armor like paper, but if you can git close enough to fight em propper den u ave a chance...

>>1706754
greetings, fellow 1680*1050fag. How's your xboxhueg monitor doing?

>>1708228
Hueg monitor is insufficiently hueg. Saving up for a 30" monitor.

A 27" is fine too.

>>1708259
Just fuck it and buy a projector, a small one will cost about as much as a high end 30' anyway.

>>1708267
Nah, I'm wanting the crazy insane resolutions the 30" can provide. Just for e-peen, ya know.
That and I want to see what DoW2 looks like on one.

>>1708259
I find it better to run two monitors at that resolution. Projectors look naff, need huge space and distance. Massive resolution is less likely to be supported by as many things. Two large monitors are better for having things happening at the same time - I tend to have either a browser or game full on one, with winamp in bar-mode on top and at the edge of another monitor with other programs running inside the winamp "frame". Easier to manage that with two monitors for things to maximise to.

>>1707262
'did you 'ere dat boss?' the boy said nervously, fidgeting in his seat.
The battlewagon was fully enclosed, the passengers unable to see the
battle raging outside.

'shut yer gob ya-' but Nob Guzzfappa
was cut short when his head exploded into a fine mist, a gigantic bone
colored fist penetrating through the wall.

The crudely built
wagon began to buckle as two massive powered clawed hands tore deep
into it's hull. Looted adamantite gave way with a painful screech as
the Wraithlord forcibly enlarged the hole. Da boyz scrambled wildly for
a way out, but the only exit ramp was blocked by the wraithbone giant.
The
ghost warrior's bony bright lance stood erect, warm to the touch as
eldritch energies coarsed through its shaft in anticipation. To the
horror of the hapless greenskins the mighty construct sank the lance
deep into the immobilized wagon.
Superconcentrated light energy penetrated the hull of the battlewagon, filling its dark cavities with burning starlight.

>Guzzfappa
>bone
>fist penetrating
>bony bright lance stood erect
>energies coarsed through its shaft in anticipation
>sank the lance deep
>filling its dark cavities

Oh my

>>1709157
LAWL, FUCKING FAIL
>>To the
horror of the hapless greenskins..

YOU FAIL AS A WRITER! Orks don't know horror. Dumbass panzee.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

>>1710319WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

the deafening cry burst out of the jungle. Before the kroot could react, the green armored savages fell upon them. Their tearing blades smashed the kroot battle staffs like dry tinder as they ripped and tore into their guts.

The lead shaper spun in a skillful ark bringing his elegant blade to bear against the most garishly dressed of the greens. His blade bounced off the green carapaced armor. If there was a smile behind its unexpressive mask, the shaper felt it, giving a funny look, that his fatal mistake.
DAKKA DAKKA

angry bolts of energy shot from the Exarch's face, the shaper reeled back in pain and then was exploded by a great powered klaw.

>>1709253Orks don't know horror

>>1711255
No Orks, you are the horror.
and then Orks was a zombie.

>>1711261
/k/ and /tg/ do not mix. Please, stay in this board.

I love orks

I love Eldar

they are cooler than orcs and elves

>>1706407Dire Avengers- ded shooty. Da boss goes "ey boyz, we NEEDS MORE DAKKA!" and dem boyz go "RIGHT BOSS!! DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!"

but deyz got no ammo runts, so da gits den stand around muckin about

DAKKA OUT DA FACE

'course, when da boss saw dat face-dakka, 'e knew 'e wanted some, see? so 'e got some mekboy to make 'im a proper orky face-dakka-fing. well, you can guess da rest, right? we larfed so 'ard, we nearly puked. good times.

>>1709157
(FAP FAP FAP)

>>1712229

rules wise, the +1 attack from the squig would work

>>1706606
>>1706613


;_;

>>1706443

There are the First Edition (Rogue Trader) codexes: "Waaargh: The Orks" and "'Ere we go," chock-full of awesome Ork fluff

http://rapidshare.com/files/30414611/Rogue_Trader_-_Waaargh_The_Orks.pdf.html
http://rapidshare.com/files/30276194/Warhammer_40k__codex__Orks_-__Ere_we_go_Rogue_Trader_Era.pdf.ht
ml

Enjoy.