Tau win.

Chaos VS Necrons VS Tyranids

For over six hundred centuries, the Emperor has sat immobile on the Golden Trone of Earth.

>>1456983

ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ ORKZ

Fixed.

>>1457005
joe 90...

Macha still a virgin.

>>1456993
Is That sarcasm I detect? Are you implying that the Emperor will never awake.

>>1457048
THAT THEME TUNE IS NOW STUCK IN YOUR HEAD

AND IT IS AWESOME

Four words: Da Impeeriam ov Orkkind.

Nothing has changed, except model prices which have oh so surprisingly gone up.

>>1457005
*Hums the theme*


Damn you.

>>1457064
Now we're talking.

In the Grim Darkness of the 91st Mille-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

For over six hundred centuries, the Emperor has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Earth, and developed some serious hemorrhoids.

49 Black Crusades.

Games Workshop of the Coast promises that the 50th will have 'really big things happening'.

91M:

Imperium is still using castles in space. Emperor still not-dead/dead/nothing different.

Orkz are now planet sized masses of muscles that shoot dakka from the tops of their heads.

Tyranids are enjoying after dinner mints.

IT WON'T GO AWAY D:

>>1457185

>Orkz are now planet sized masses of muscles that shoot dakka from the tops of their heads.

NEEDS MO' CHOPPY!

Infinite war etc.

>>1456980
Strangely, the universe looks exactly like the idealized American life in the 50's.

91M: Tyranid's Hiveworlds have entered and completeley annihilated every sector and segmentum in (known) space. Exterminated races:

- Necrons
- Squats (once again)
- Tau

9/10 of the Space Marine Chapters got razed, the very few orks and humans left, live like nomads (like the Dark Elder/Eldar, which are as good as annihilated) in spaceships.

>>1456980

Necrons have killed 99% of all life in the universe. They go back to sleep for another 65 million years.
The only message they left:


Good luck next time.

In the grim darkness of the 91st millenium, everyone got really tired and went home.

>>1457319
>I hate Tau. Tau die. The End.

>>1457203
Margret the Necron next door has baked a better pie, send for the imperial inquistitorial chefs to bake a better pie and win the local pie competition.

chaos corrupts the orcs the nids and the tau...
then proceed to watch the galaxy burn....

>>1457353
Sounds like you need help from the Chef Marines. Bring the finest from the Adeptus Delicious to help thee.

>>1457353
And everyone dies.

-Finally, we purged the Immaterium from the daemons, exterminated all the xenos and killed every heretic in the Imperium! Glory to the God-Emperor!
-Yeah! What do we do now?
-I dunno. Let's watch the televatus.

Tyranids leave the galaxy, failing to realize once again that the way to survive as a species may be more effective if you don't strip planets of biological life and ignoring the surrounding resources. Necrons fall asleep.

A sole Thousand Son stands on a dead planet in what used to be the warp, missing his wife.

Just as planned.

Eldar ally with Tau. Necrons pwnd. Imperium pwnd by Tyranids/Orks. Chaos still sucks. Orks/Xenos showdown..... Everybody forgot Dark Eldar. They win by default. 45 millenia of torture.

>>1457379
"What do we do now?"
"... what do you mean?"
"Now we can finally play the game!"
"Alright, kenny double click on the mob over there..."

>>1457386
If you read the story, the Thousand Son gets to die at the end.

Everyone is dead. The end! ^_____^

Space Marines: are now all dreadnaughts and keep to themselves, and a selection of the finest motor oil.
Imperial Guard: all Grim and buggerit.
Eldar: hey, prophecies came true, they're all dead.
Dark Eldar: all tuckered out, Slaanesh put them to bed.
Chaos: Got lost in the warp, and emerged back in 40,000.
Necrons: Batteries ran out of power, nobody was around to recharge them, Adeptus Mechnus now have shiney metal bodies.
Tyranids: now demesticated.
Tau: Opened a selection of chain stores "For the Greater Food"
Inquisition: Have toned down their retoric, hoping to convert people by a more empathy-based methodology. Aromatherapy is on Tuesdays.
Sisters of Battle: Meet every week for their book group.

>>1457391
Eldar? Winning? Does not compute.

>>1457417
I lol'd.

>>1457417
Orks: Sitting around scratching their asses until one spots a fly. He tries to swat it but it lands on the face of another Ork. he tries to smack it off, but only smacks the other Ork's face, causing a breakout of violence, and the birth of another WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

>>1457405
Some of us find the original ending more amusing.

WARHAMMER 10^150K

IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR FUTURE, IT'S FUCKING LONELY WITH NO MATTER AROUND.

no the eldar got wiped out because macha got laid.

just as planned.

Lost Primarch Samus returns and kills the Emperor. All races die at her hand.

Eldrad... guilty for this development somehow.
Dick.

>>1457453
If I knew who you were' I'd kill you with the 4th edition rulebook.

>>1457417
>Tau: Opened a selection of chain stores "For the Greater Food"

Lol'd

>>1457470
Bahahaha. Victory. (kill me with the 4th ed rulebook? Weeeeeak. You'd have better luck whining about 5th ed until I died or sided with you.)

>>1457417
whoops, forgot Orks

Orks: their part-fungul nature mutates. Orks now regularly flower or bare fruits. WAAGGHHs are replaced by flower shows and autumn harvest festival.

>>1457373
The Tyranids are always bragging about how they use all-organic ingredients.

>>1457488
I may drawfag this

>>1457589

Faptau as a chef.

You know what he'll be doing.

The Mechanicum of Mars has developed reliable faster than light travel and communication, removing the need for the God-Emperor's Astronomican or psykers in general. The Emperor is forgotten, Holy Terra becomes irrelevant, and the Imperium breaks up into countless warring human factions.

>>1457645

Making chowder?

>>1457319
HAHAHAHA
no

Orkz > bugs

Orks, everywhere

>>1457319
lol no
tyranids are not interested in necrons, as they present only net loss to biomass

>>1457203

This. It's perfect somehow.

Imperium has fallen as did the Eldar; the Emperor awoke as a new Chaos god, this one based on the theme of orthodoxy and having a very Christian motif. His demon princes look like the end boss of a Final Fantasy game, and angel/demon mutations are common among his followers (descended from the remnants of the SoB and the Ecclesiarchy.)

Humanity has been reduced to the Void Born and a number of smaller colonies. They are an individualistic, freedom-loving race with many psykers. They actually do get to join with the Emperor when they die now, and most of them aren't happy about it.

The Eldar meanwhile have accomplished their goal of creating a new deity from the souls of their dead. Its sphere of influence is hope, and it's still pretty weak, but Eldar souls are saved by it and not devoured by Slaanesh. This success has lead to something of a renaissance among the Eldar. The Dark Eldar, meanwhile, have failed to keep all their plates spinning, leading to the destruction of their city and Slaanesh battening on their souls.

(cont. after lunch)

>>1457915
Christ, that's not bad.

SPACE CHRIST FIGHTING SPACE SATAN IN SPAAACE

>>1457915
Your ideas are terrible. Don't bother.

ITT we infer that our favorite 40k forces are superior and win the galaxy.

...in that vein, all the Eldar die, awakening the death god they've been nurturing for so long. The awakening steals the souls of all the Dark Eldar. Slaanesh baaws. As the Eldar god begins killing humans wholesale, the Emperor awakens as the starchild, and the Orks react to all this new fightin' by empowering Gork and Mork with pure orky fightyness. The Original Chaos gods find out that they aren't the only kids on the block.

Cue giant monster freeforall in the warp. Necrons explode from the Warp buildup, Tau wonder what the hell is going on, and the hivemind says "fuck that" and moves on to another galaxy. Warhammer 91k becomes a CCG where players take control of various giant warp entities and fight for the remaining souls of the galaxy.

Wizards of the Coast goes "just as planned".

>>1457064

Datz six wurdz dat iz!

>>1457932
POWER CREEP POWER CREEP

>>1457932

Your ideas are terrible. Don't bother.

>>1457924
Far the greater food?

>>1457915

The Orks have learned of their origins and to everyone's surpise united enthusiastically behind the goal of utterly wiping out the Necrons and C'Tan. The biggst WAAAGH in history now encompasses 70% of the Ork colonies in the galaxy. This unity has provided them with several thousand years of relative stability in which to learn new tricks that aren't in their genetic repertoire - they're more disciplined, more focused on their mission. Everyone wants the Necrons dead without exception, so the Orks have no shortage of allies.

In response all the Necrons woke up about 10,000 years ago, and to their horror they're still losing. It's going to take a while, though, and people are more than a little worried what the Orks are going to do when their mission is complete.

A side-effect of the more stable Ork culture has been a proliferation of Gretchin independence movements. The Soviets of Gorkamorka now control a territory equal to around one-eighth the size of the Ork nation.

>>1457961

I approve of Red Orks versus White Orcs.

>>1457946
dammit, took me relatively ages to get that right... and I didn't.

Fixed

>>1457961

The Tau are big, but they've never discovered FTL travel, instead refining their networked AI and drone systems. At this point almost all of their population have uploaded into AI systems, able to transmit themselves through space at FTL speeds thanks to quantum entanglement and control a variety of mechanical bodies. Everyone's a bit unnerved by this development, as they were expecting more of the usual progression of Technology -> Warp Drive -> Psykers -> Fall. Most NeoTau live in vast Drone Clouds in deep space, soaking up the light of the distant stars.

Although Farsight's rebel Tau were almost broken when the secret of his demonblade was revealed (to their great cost) they rallied, and created a small Empire not unlike the Tau Empire of 40,000. Used to having to work with allies to survive, the actual Tau are outnumbered by Kroot, Humans, Orks and other races.

>>1457920
Do it better.

>>1457980

With the galactic climate more conducive to diplomacy, the Zoats have revealed themselves and taken revenge on their Tyranid masters by helping to unite efforts against the Hive Fleets. The only race to have proved totally unreceptive to their overtures has been the NeoTau, leading to rumours that the machine-mind of the Tau has made contact with the Hive Mind and has some sort of shadowy deal going.

The Adeptus Mechanicus are, philosophically speaking, between a rock and a hard place, with the terrifying AI of the NeoTau on one hand and the apotheosis of the Emperor on the other. They're holding it together pretty well, though, travelling around the human colonies fixing stuff while gathering information and technology as always. The biggest change here is that they're independent and have rid themselves of some of the trappings of the Imperial Cult.

>>1458006

Chaos. With the two new kids on the block, the chaos gods got scared and formed a pact, known as the Pax Discordius or something equally pretentious. Under the pact they don't move against one another directly. Secret cults, double agents and subversion are the order of the day, a situation which has come to be known as the 'Great Game' played between the ruinous powers.

An ironic side effect of this is that having an open, tolerated church of, say, Slaanesh in a colony prevents the local Cult of Khorne from killing the ruling class and turning the streets into a battlefield. The final, horrific stages of chaotic corruption that used to afflict Imperial worlds were once averted by the Inquisition rooting out the cults and heretics before it reached that stage. Today, the best defense is to have two or more chaos cults who hate each other. As long as they can't decide how to carve up the colony between them (and they won't, because they hate each other) the Pax Discordius will keep them from fucking up your shit.

Speaking of cults, 90% of genestealer cults side with the Zoats because they don't want to be om nom nommed, which is good news if you're already helping the Zoats in their crusade when you discover you have a genestealer infestation.

(cont. after I get some fucking cheesecake.)

The Tyranids have absorbed all organic life into their biological collective and annihilated the Necrons, at the expense of 8 hive fleets. The only other sentient race to survive this onslaught is mankind, who have embraced the gods of Chaos. At the dawn of the 91st millennium, the Galaxy is a howling maelstrom of ever changing matter, the eye of chaos having expanded to absorb most of it. Hive fleet Demogorgon, the largest combined group of Tyranids yet recorded, arrives to continue its conquest.

>>1458068

The Inquisition was divided between those who serve in the chaos-legions of the Ascended Emperor, and those who retreated to form a secretive but directionless conspiracy (think Freemasons.)

It's a golden age for pirates, corsairs, explorers and rogue traders. Nearly all races can be found represented in these intrepid crews.

Finally, the squats have sided wi

Heh, astromonicon is snuffed, I take it.

>>1458006
That's all nice 'n dandy, but I don't like the fact that Necrons and Humans are so incredibly weak / been killed.

Imperium/Space Marines problaby have the most firepower, strongest space fleets and toughest fighters of all (Astartes). Hell, they're not invincible but forces and legions fighting together make them nearly the worst and toughly enemies in space.

+ They have General Sturrn. 'nuff said.

And the good ol' Sigmar can't become a Chaos god, that's just... a big no no.

And Necrons, well they're the incarnation of death. SO WAT.

>>1457417
Tau homeworld now known as "Foodcourtia."

>Heh, astromonicon is snuffed, I take it.

Yeah. Funny thing is, once the light of the Astronomicon went out and the Navigators' eyes adjusted, they realised that the Eye of Terror was quite visible from pretty much everywhere and they could just navigate by that.

>>1458140
I thought the Astronomican functioned more as a safe highway then a lighthouse.

>>1458132

Space Marines are still around, they never accepted the Emperor as a god so their souls weren't devoured when he fell.

And too bad, it's canon that mankind is heading for a fall similar to that of the Eldar. Where's the nascent chaos god they're nurturing? Why, it's right there on the Golden Throne, absorbing all their worship and sacrifice.

As for the Necrons, they're still around. We're talking All Necrons vs All Orks, both of which are supposed to be able to easily overrun the other races combined. The balance is slightly in favour of the Orks but only because they're getting help. Give it another ten thousand years and the Necrons might be extinct.

Or, for lulz, the Necrons could outlive the C'Tan and have to find some new purpose for themselves, possibly apologising a lot and looking sheepish.

>>1458160
I always thought that they'd be kind of sheepish as well. They'd be spacy and apologetic. Basically how they look in those pictures where the characters PLAY the game.

Eldar and Dark Eldar: Extinct. Both slowly died off over thousands of years, the Dark Eldar being consumed by Slaanesh, the Craftworld Eldar being reduced to a wandering fleet of ghost ships that were destroyed one by one in various battles until none remained.

Imperium of Man: Extinct. The Imperium's stagnation left it poorly-equipped to face the various threats in the galaxy. The Tyranids, Orks, Necrons, and Tau took world after world from the Imperium, forcing it to fall back again and again toward Holy Terra. The Imperium became ever more harsh and draconian in response, causing citizens to defect to Chaos in droves and resulting in extensive civil wars. Eventually, it becomes impossible to obtain enough psykers to sustain the Emperor any longer, and the Astronomicon fails. All the worlds of the Imperium, isolated from reinforcements or shipments from the forge worlds and agricultural worlds, fall soon after.

Chaos: Extinct. With the destruction of the Eldar races and the Imperium, the power of the Chaos Gods fades and begins to fail. The Chaos cults that survived the fall of the Imperium find their powers weakening and eventually completely fading away as the number of surviving cultists becomes too small to sustain the Chaos Gods any longer. The remaining cultists soon die off.

>>1458181

Tau: Extinct. The Tau initially found their power rising as they took some of the remaining humans into their number and discovered more advanced technology. Unfortunately, they were simply too small in number to overcome the vast hordes of the Orks and Tyranids, and not quite advanced enough to fight the full legions of the Necrons on their own terms. They were crushed mercilessly by the other three races.

Orks and Tyranids: Combined. The Orks gathered ever more advanced technology as they raided the dying eldar, human, and tau empires, and the Tyranids evolved as they consumed ever more alien species. Eventually, the two met, and began a bloody war between the full Tyranid swarm and a WAAAGH! that incorporated every Ork in the galaxy. As the Tyranids consumed the Orks, a new strain developed possessing the sum of Tyranid and Orkish physical prowess. This strain grew rapidly, infusing the Hive Mind with the Ork's racial knowledge and mindset, and the power of the WAAAGH! This new, perfect race quickly devoured the remains of the Tyranid swarm and the Ork WAAAGH!, and under the direction of the Hive Mind, set its sights on the Necrons.

Necrons: At war with Ork-Tyranids. All the Necrons eventually awoke, and survived the death of every other species until the biological tides of the Orks and Tyranids met and combined into a single, unified force. They are currently at war with this, the last of the galaxy's life, and are losing.

>>1457174
>>Games Workshop of the Coast

am I the only one who cringed in fear at the thought of this monstrosity? The two biggest geek-milking companies, TOGETHER?

I think humans no longer will be humans. Next 50000 years is enought to evolve.

>>1458205

You'd think so, but they apparently haven't in the last 40000 years, so why would they in another 50000?

>>1458184

You don't know how this stuff actually works, do you?

>>1458184

I hoped you were just going to go through every race and declare them extinct, ending with the Jokaero, but you had to fag it up. Tyranorks? WTF is that, other than the wet dream of a socially stunded 13 year old?

>>1458222

Apparently they're trying to evolve into psykers, but the combination of chaos daemons and the Inquisition keep fagging it up.

>>1457915
>the Emperor awoke as a new Chaos god, this one based on the theme of orthodoxy

So... a Chaos god of Order? Now THAT'S chaotic.

>>1458237

Alternatively, maybe the Emperor is the first of the Lords of Order in a Moorcock-style law/chaos dualism.

The Eldar racemind would be the second, and for the third and fourth pick any two of:

-The Ascended Hivemind
-The Apotheosis of the NeoTau Machine-Mind
-The Last C'Tan

>>1458245
Good point. It would be nice to see that explored.

Although note that the Lords of Order would also be assholes, at least as much so as the Chaos Gods.

>>1458245
while great as idea, I don't think Order should have more than one divinity. Chaos embodies a spectrum of concepts, and thus it required more than one divinity, often one specular to the other: whereas Tzeentch is hope and change, Nurgle is decay, stagnation, whereas Khorne is all about the others (speciically RAAGE), Slaanesh is all about yourself.
But law isn't that varied. Law just means doing someone told you to, and this doesn't go well with multiple 'someones'. Remember the symbol of Law is a single arrow, where Chaos as eight. In b4 'The same could be said of the three great religions'

>>1458292
well, I don't think they would be gods of order, so much, as warp presences that are subconciously controlled by these races, and not quite sentient in and of themselves. A mind-cudgel, if you will.

>>1458292

Learn your history.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_and_Chaos

Grim, darkness, peace&love, etc.

>>1458343
>>Learn your history.
>>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_and_Chaos

oh lawd

In the year 90.000 everybody is dead.

"Moorcock's conception of Chaos also heavily inspired, and in some cases was lifted verbatim by Games Workshop in the creation of its Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 fictional settings. Notably, however, they only briefly used Moorcock's conceptions of Order or the Balance. The descriptions of Chaos, of the eight-pointed star, of the Chaos Lords, the strange multicolored hues of energies, mutations and warping of matter and flesh, and so forth found in the Warhammer settings are all derived directly from Moorcock's works."

Other influences on Warhammer Chaos - the idea of insidious demonic cults infiltrating normal society bears a striking resemblance to the paranoia about Satanism, satanic ritual abuse, and D&D=Occultism that was prevalent in the UK during the late 70s/early 80s.

Also, bear in mind this was the height of the cold war, with Thatcher vowing to crush unions led by Arthur Scargill who (allegedly) was determined to bring down the government in a socialist revolution and have Britain join the Soviet Bloc. The idea of chaos as a physical force capable of creating mutations and illness is a direct response to the nuclear fear of the cold war. The 'Chaos Wastes' of WHFB are just the mutant-ridden post-apocalyptic wastelands of SF transplanted into a fantasy setting.

Meh

90,000:

The Angry Marines kill off all enemies of the Imperium. Once they realize there are no more enemies they get infuriated and take out the imperium for being total wusses and not giving them orders on what to do after killing off everything. After humanity is wiped out, the Angry Marines then start infighting and kill off each other. All life in the galaxy is gone expect Angricus Maximus(Angry Marine's Primarch), who is still on the Angry Marine home planet of Fuck Off III, stuck in his constant looping rage.

>>1458110

I like your ideas Anon. Especially the Neo-Tau. And I hate the Tau. You actually came up with an idea of how they could advance themselves, remain/become an effective player in the Warhammer universe, and not just by becoming another lolpsykers&warp faction, but by playing to their in-story strength of ridiculous and abnormal technological advancement. Well done.

Could you be a bit more specific on whats going on with the Space Marines? You seemed to glass over them. Have they stayed primarily allied with the nomadic humans, split loyalties between the AM, Nomads, inquisition and Chaos Emporer, or just struck out on their own and established a new, all marine/SoB imperium, forsaking the chapter system to reform the old Legions under the surviving Primarchs, who have reappeared to lead their people in the wake of their father's "death."

Also, PLEASE tell me the Eldar have Wraithlord Eldrad leading them?

>>1458733

Okay, the Space Marines believe that the Emperor has betrayed them (mostly because he om nom nommed most of humanity during his ascension, as Slaanesh did to the Eldar) and regard themselves as warrior monks, detached servants of Mankind as a whole. Each chapter is self-directed and sends forces out to protect whatever human colonies they can.

They 'serve' the local governments but never take orders from them. Most human settlements have some xenos/chaos taint by this point in history, the marines overlook this but won't assist colonies that are actually governed by chaos organisations.

The whole idea of 'fighting chaos' is regarded with somewhat bitter irony at this point; there's a certain degree of commisseration rather than rancour between the marines and their traitor brethren, now that they've gone through their own equivalent of the death of Horus. They still aren't friendly though.

The primarchs have passed from legend into myth, but there are always rumous that some of them may return. Perhaps this time those rumours are true.

Eldrad... Oh, I'll throw you a bone then, Eldrad died tens of thousands of years ago, his soul was thought lost to chaos until his soulstone was discovered by Eldar adventurers as part of a truly epic storyline. When the Eldar racemind awoke Eldrad became its interlocutor, a being on the same sort of scale as the Avatars of Khaine.

>>1458865

And it was all according to his overall plan.

I'm buying this.

Naturally new bandit kingdoms are springing up as the new warlords and hardliners seize power in their systems/subsectors. The more tactically adept and farsighted do well - sometimes too well - and overrun and crush many of their starving or isolated neighbors with little resistance.

These new bandit kingdoms are dangerous and savage in a way unseen since the early days of the Imperium. In short, humanity is on amok against itself and all sorts of new xenos species. (Like the Umbra, who have become more and more commonplace in the chaos of the 90th Millenium)

What of Exodites?

I didn't notice a mention of the Dark Eldar. Still pirating, Slaving and Sexing? Or has the reorganization of Chaos and the changes in the Eldar affected them?

>>1458967

Some are quite civilised, too. Overall the civilised ones prosper in areas where their neighbours are also civilised, while the bandits prosper alongside suckers and other bandits, where there's nobody smart or organised enough to gang up on them.

>>1458980

Exodites are still doing their thing, getting back to nature and joining with the soul of their planet on death. Some of these planet-souls are fairly big - though none anywhere near as big as the race-mind - and over the millenia some of the planets have been destroyed, releasing these minor deities into the Warp. They fill a similar role to Khaine and the Laughing God, the seeds of a new Eldar pantheon. The race-mind protects them from the ruinous powers, when necessary.

>>1458292
We already went through this today. There really are only two axis: Love-Hate (Slaanesh-Khorne) and Change-Stagnation (Tzeentch-Nurgle).

>>1458980

They have dragons. Nothing beats dragons.

>>1459015

I wrote that they eventually failed at their delicate balancing act and got eaten by Slaanesh. They didn't really have much of a long-term plan and all that fast living finally caught up with them.

Their slaves outlived them, however. A mixture of races, predominantly human and Eldar, with a hatred of slavery and some really nice leftover technology living in settlements scattered throughout the webway. They engage in a combination of trade and raiding. Think Githzerai from Planescape.

>>1459029
Is that Pyramid Head as a loli?

>>1459041
BY THE WILL OF ZERTHIMON, I HAVE BECOME STRONGER.

>>1459055
No, moar like shota-Pyramid

>>1459066

In *knowing* the teachings of Zerthimonn, I have become stronger.

>>1459082

He's panting, do you think he's tired from a hard day's raping?

http://www.sorcerers.net/Games/Torment/zerthimon.php

Everyone has stopped fighting and instead watches the three way game of chess between eldrad, tzeentch and the deceiver. It is being played in 10 dimensions with 60 different pieces.

Unknown to everyone, Mork is winning the game.

>>1457392
>"Now we can finally play the game!"
>play the game
>the game

How did no one notice this?

>>1459162

Maybe because you're a fucking asshole!

>>1459162
OH FUCK YOU

>>1459125
Fuckin Lol.

>>1459173
>>1459171

itt idiots who still care about the game

YOU FUCKWITS THAT'S A PERIOD NOT A COMMA. IT'S WARHAMMER NINETY POINT ZERO ZERO ZERO.

>>1459555

>I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE EUROPEAN NUMBER SYSTEM

>>CAPS LOCK

>>1459613
Why the fuck do Europeans use periods instead of commas?

>>1459642

Unwarranted self-righteousness?

>>1459642

Most countries that use the Metric System do.

Y'know. The ones that aren't so pants-on-head retarded they can't change over from whatever system they had before. ie: Imperial.

>>1459671
I'd prefer to use the Metric system too, but how can you tell dollars (or whatever) from change?

>>1459677

$1,005.00 -> (symbol)1.005,00

What's so difficult?

>>1459685
I'll keep the 1,000.50 thing, since it really makes no difference.

>>1459688

It really doesn't, but when people like >>1459555 can't even figure it out with the aid of CONTEXT, the simplicity needs to be pointed out.

Why does the Imperium of Man seem to be following the Foundation Series of events?

Also, Neotau are an awesome idea.

>>1459671
It's nearly impossible to switch over post-industrialization. Britain, Canada, Australia and the like started too late and likely wont fully "metrify" within our lifetimes, especially Canada. You simply dont understand how many pieces of machinery, equipment, mechanical parts and other engineering things are made to the old (and perfectly workable) standard. You'd have to go yanking out every bit of machinery and replacing it with metric specifications.

Plus, some imperial measurement systems have more practical day to day uses than their metric counterparts (fahrenheit for one)


saging because I'm probably the only one here who knows anything about metrification.

>>1457589
Tau rule is basically like living in a Walmart.

>>1459725
Walmart forcibly sterilizes its workers?

>>1459733
There was a pretty big controversy over it a few years back but the Iraq War diverted attention away from it.

>Walmart forcibly sterilizes its workers?

Post proof of this vicious imperial lie.

>>1459722

Of course the Imperial system is for day-to-day, it's based largely on the human body itself. That doesn't make it any less idiotic.

>>1459733
Working at Walmart has such an effect on the opposite gender that forcible sterilisation is not required.

AND DON'T FORGET ABOUT HOW I LIVE FOR ANOTHER 50,000 YEARS AND BUTT FUCK THE EMPEROR SO HE CAN BECOME THE MOTHER FUCKING CHAOS GOD HE DESERVES TO BE.

Zhuvassin OM NOM NOMs the Emperor's and Eldrad's souls.

All is going according to plans...

>>1459722
>Plus, some imperial measurement systems have more practical day to day uses than their metric counterparts (fahrenheit for one)
Please, could you give one example of the practicality?

>>1460075

Stems from the smaller units' source. Inches used to always be from the reigning monarch's fingertip to middle knuckle, feet were from fingertip to forearm, etc. It made it easy for a poorly-educated farmer to take his arm and go "well, tha' thur bag is abut a foot long".

It's utterly useless, nowadays, where most measurements are a stick/laser/computer away, but it was built around the human body.

/tg/ - Measurements

>>1460245

>feet were from fingertip to forearm

Do you mean elbow? If so that's a short fucking arm.

>>1460298

Yes, I do mean elbow.

And yes, people in general were fairly small, back then.

Alternatively, I'm fucking wrong and it was wrist-elbow, but whatever the fuck, it was built on the monarch's scuzzy ass, okay?

>>1460320
Wrist to Elbow is a cubit.

A foot is the length of your fucking foot. Hence the name: foot.

>>1460330

Fuck off, at least my system uses base fucking ten.

>>1460245
I fail to see how your example gives using fahrenheit any benefits over the alternatives.

>>1460392

Your mom uses base ten.

>>1460417

I really have no idea why Imperialanon brought up farenheit, unless someone can interject on what the fuck it was calibrated to.

Squats come back. Fuck everyone up. Not even Tzeentch saw that one coming.

>>1460463
it was calibrated to the temperature witches burn at, the hellfire in their souls was thought to be a universal constant, which could be brought out by burning them.

>>1459041
I'M SPARTICUS!

>>1459722
Australia is fully metric fuckface.

THATS IT! GLORIOUS WARRIORS OF THE IMPERIAL SYSTEM, ITS TIME TO EXTERMINATUS THE METRIC HERETICS!

>>1461444

Stop stealing my newspapers, Sparticus.

>>1461452

Find a tape measure. Note the inches. A lot of our machinery works on imperial standard.

>For the Greater Food

THIS FOOD IS STRONG,IT WOULD BE GOOD TO HAVE THAT STRENGTH

OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

>>1462362

Even France has inches on tapes

The Imperium has fallen, only Holy Terra remains. The Emperor returns to use his secret weapon which destroys all matter in the universe. Upon his death, the Holy God-Emperor ascends and becomes god, and creates a new universe to rule.

The Kroot pull a Cylon, and now they are the Tau Empire (the same way the reptilian Cylons were replaced by their robotic slaves).

Necrons accomplished their goal- seizing strategic points, purifying them of life, and then all together opening a portal for the C'Tan, a ritual that leaves them and their monoliths deactivated or destroyed. They were used as pawns by their gods.

The C'Tan origin of his blade revealed, Farsight continues to live for fucking ever and becomes the Champion of the C'Tan.

The lesser tyranid hives have been consumed by the Super-Hive they were fleeing into this galaxy away from.

The Emperor is gone but his warp presence remains, guarding the gate on Terra and still lighting the way for the Imperium. This has given the church more power, given the now intangible nature of the Emperor, and they basically pushed out the Lords of Terra and the Administratum after gaining concession after concession (including getting a male army to match it's Sororitas, and so on). However as the church has become the Imperium government in whole, the Inquisition, the mostly independent agency that was not stuck by the rules against soldiers (see Stormtroopers) have been atrophied, as the Church doesn't want rogue dogs on it's watch.

So, now the Imperium is just Crazy Fucking Religious, instead of being that disguising evil corrupt political crap. So while mutants and such are abided less than ever, the general quality of life has gone up some and people are more hopeful, paying more than lip-service to the Emperor. Any hardships in their lives are unimportant, because they now know there's a heaven for them to ascend to should they live valoriously.

Chaos is now an empire of it's own really, making this the age of 3 Empires (The "Tau", the Imperium, and "Chaos").

The Eldar worlds have all been destroyed, and Comorragh was destroyed too. Their remenants are a united pirate fleet.

The orks are, well, orks.

>>1462497
This is the worst post in the thread.

>>1462503
No, this one.

>>1462531
This is definitely the worst post in the entire thread.

in 40k, they spent 4000 years fighting, then there were 1000 years of relative peace and prosperity, then they spend 4000 years fighting again, and so on. at 90,000, they were fighting their umpteenth galactic war, with new alliances and technology and blah blah blah.

IN AD 90101 WAR WAS BEGINNING

>>1462544

AGAIN

>>1462503
>>1462531
>>1462535
This whole thread is awful. There's no need to pick specifics.

This thread is interesting. It's cool to see everyone's take on the matter. Of course GW being the gay company they are will ever end this even when they go bust to givew us closure. And even if they did it would be gay cause Andy Chambers already left.

>>1462544
MAIN SCREEN TURN ON!!

bump

goddamn anon, that was a NICe plot extrapolation. Seconding love for the NeoTau. Very awesome.

Abbadon eventually grows impatient of waiting for vengeance lauches a suicidal attack on Terra herself throwing the entire Black Legion at it The attack is completely obliterated but not before destroying the Golden Throne. The leader of the Custodes, enraged by this, proves how fucking badass they really are by slaying Abbadon in personal combat.

The Emporer, finally released into the warp again, spends millenia battling the other warp gods before re-entering the physical realm.

The Inquisition trys to contain the death of the Emporer but with the Emporer dead the truth is slowly learned and the Imperium tears itself apart.

The Inquisition seperates into different factions and continues a cold war of espionage and assassination against themselves. This war goes unknown to the majority of the remaining Imperium.

The Ecclesiarchy tries to hold on to what little power the have left. They declare a series of wars but with no real reason behnd them they lose support. The Sisters of Battle renounce their alliance with the Church and become a legion of travelling crusaders. The patrol space in vast fleets aiding humanity where ever they can, determined to matyr themselves and join the Emporer.

The Adeptus Mechanicus breaks off as their own faction. Shortly afterwards the C'tan know as Void Dragon emerges and assumes the role as their new god. Secretly they mass for war and make contact with Necron tomb world. However, an Ordo Xenos Inquisitor uncovers this before an attack on Terra is made. Using the element of suprise the remaining Imperium launches a suprise attack on Mars. 30 Space Marine chapters are employed and 5 are destroyed, including the Iron Hands who see this rebellion as their responsibility. The Adeptus Mechanicus is defeated but not destroyed, they retreat to tomb worlds and are assimilated into the Necron armies.

Most Imperial systems become scattered empires ruled over by warlords or rogue Imperial Guard generals. They continue to fight against the moounting number of enemies at their door step and are slowly losing.

Space Marine Chapters become nomadic armies. They long ago abandoned their homeworlds, without Imperial support they reasoned a lone chapter could not defend a world from large enough enemies. However without Imperial restriction they have grown in size to resemble the legions of the Dark Ages. The Ultramarines' manpower numbers in the millions. Some act as perpetually crusading forces, helping out humanity where ever they can. Others, notably the White Scars and Space Wolves have carved out their own empires. They generally keep to themselves and only fight when threatened.

The Grey Knights along with more radical members of the Inquisition see the death of the Emporer as a personnal failure. Along with the Custodes the lauch a crusade into the Eye of Terror to seek vengeance. Due to the Emporer rejoining the warp many of their powers are boosted. The initially take several daemon worlds amd claim them from the Emporer whose warp energy changes them to holy planet-sized fortresses. During the early campaign they take a heavy toll on Chaos forces and destroy the remain Black Legion troops. The momentum of their crusade sees them also destroy the entire Iron Warriors chapter before gradually being pused back. They continue to wage war in the Eye of Terror and appear to be winning, strengthening the Emporer's power in the warp.

With the attack on Terra partial successful, the remain traitors legion grow more bolder and begin attacking the Imperium all over. War continues to rage wherever they go and some legions have formed empires, most notably The Emporer's Children. Their area of space encompasses 5 systems and is a haven for the sick and depraved. Several chapters, such as the World Eaters, Word Bearers and Night Lords have had their numbers dwindle as a result of millenia of war with little recruitment. Their warbands have become rare, in the case of the World Eaters almost legendary.

The Dark Eldar are destoryed in a series of events. A raiding party is destroyed by orks at the sight of a webway gate before it can be closed. This leads to a Waaagh entering the webway into Commorragh. Shortly before they reach there a massive revolt of prisoners takes place distracting most cabals. When the orks reach the Dark City they destroy it in the confusion and the Dark Eldar are obliterated. As a result of this, orks now plague the webways and attack randomly across the galaxy.

The Craftworld Eldar are gradually made extinct with the Saim Hann Eldar being the only ones that remain after taking a exodite world as their home. The eventual death of the craftworld Eldar gives birth to the Eldar death god. With only the exodite Eldar remaining the Death god of the Eldar protects his last remaining people with great care. Most exodite worls are cut off via warpstorms and the few worlds left live in relative peace, their webways sealed off from the marauding orks.

The majority of Orks use the collapse of the Imperium to lauch Waaagh's wherever they can. Nearly a third of formally Imperial controlled space is claimed by the orks. They still lauch attacks on whoever they can find but no more so then the current Imperium, they just control more space.

The Tau empire has grown to become the largest of all the empires in the galaxy. Developing biological weapons for use against both the orks and tyranids they successfully defend their borders from large invasions. They continue to expand and every year more and more former Imperial worlds submit to the Tau mainly for protection. Exodite worlds in Tau space are left alone so long as they keep to themselves. Exodites bartered this in return for aiding the Tau to close webway gates on Tau-controlled worlds in order to stop the threat of random ork attacks.

The Necrons have become a larger and ever present threat but have not yet claimed the galaxy. The C'tan reasoned that if left unopposed the Tyranids would consume the life in this galaxy that was meant for them and continue a massive campaign against them. Unable to assimilate Necrons into the swarm the Tyranids have lost hundreds of Hive Fleet in their campaign war with the Necrons. Currently the remaining c'tan have become rather amused with the frustration of the Hive Mind and have taken to fighting the Tyranids as if it were sport, the Nightbringer is reported to have killed entire splinter fleets on his own. Content to let the galaxy continue to fill with life the Necrons wage war against the Tyranids.

The Tyranids have continued their attacks on the galaxy for millenia without success. The massive area of Ork-held space constantly matches them in furosity and regenerates numbers almost as quickly as the Tyranids making obtaining a foothold extremely dificult. As well as this, they have faced devestation at the hands of the Tau's biological weapons. When they evolve to become immune to the Tau's current technology it is not long until a new strain is developed by the Earth Caste. These Tau weapons have be instrumental in holding back Hive Fleets from Tau space and is largely responsible for the Imperium not being consumed after the death of the Emporer.

And the sage reigns overall

>>1463099
poor tyranids :(

>>1463127

They're just bugs.

>>1463099
Wow... It's like a really good bed-time story...

>>1463094

lol Emporer's children make a solar sytem wide version of Vegas!!

>>1463085
>>1463086
>>1463089
>>1463094
>>1463097
>>1463099

This story is really good. Please work for GW and show them the way.

>>1463085
>Abaddon
>Herself

HA HA WHAT.

>>1463208

lrn2 read

The Emperor comes back, and then THIS PARTY IS GETTING CRAAAAAAZYYYYYY

>>1462943
>>1459716

I like them too. I'm still waiting on that guy who promised us a rogue drone Tau army.

The rule of thumb I followed in my version of W90k was to try and extrapolate while keeping the universe at least as interesting if not more interesting a place to set games in.

"Everyone dies except Necrons and Tyranorks" may sound kewl but 40k wouldn't be much fun if there were only two armies to choose from, both comprised of unstoppable mindless killing machines.

>>1463086

>The Adeptus Mechanicus breaks off as their own faction. Shortly afterwards the C'tan know as Void Dragon emerges and assumes the role as their new god. Secretly they mass for war and make contact with Necron tomb world. However, an Ordo Xenos Inquisitor uncovers this before an attack on Terra is made. Using the element of suprise the remaining Imperium launches a suprise attack on Mars. 30 Space Marine chapters are employed and 5 are destroyed, including the Iron Hands who see this rebellion as their responsibility. The Adeptus Mechanicus is defeated but not destroyed, they retreat to tomb worlds and are assimilated into the Necron armies.

No, because for AdMechs Necron are doings it wrong.

I think it's interesting how some Traitor Legions and Space Marine Chapters end up switching places.

>>1463085
Interesting.

Lister Kryten Cat n Arnold Rimmer finally come out of the warp in front of Terra in the space hulk known as red dwarf piloted by the ancient machine sprite Holly

>>1464682
And the twin of the planet in the eye of terror where the orks are brought to life every day is that backwards planet! Yes!