While people often say that breeding between races is incredibly rare, a glance at the vast number of 'exceptions' in any given universe says that this is probably only true when compared to the massive human populations. Humans are pimps, we don't know why, but an elven maiden holding onto her virginity for a millenia putting out for a battle-scarred boy knight implies that the 'most prevalent' has some kind of divine + to their charisma.

I suppose it helps that 'god' is more often than not a sweaty palmed virgin living vicariously through his player's PCs. All the better to justify my PC's mom falling in love with a kobold, I suppose.

>But, they are without the antithesis of min/maxing

>But, they are the antithesis of min/maxing

Fucking typos...

No one's going to be reading any of that, I wager.

I read it all. And I giggled at the end.

Survival of the Fittest.

>>1437936
I read it.
and now i have a hard on....
mmmm sexy tax breaks

*slow clap*

you Sir just won yourself an internets

>>1437936
Actually no. I just don't have any witty reply for it.

Except:

>tall, dark and goblinoid becomes your cities next fetish.

Made me laugh.

I read it, but my thoughts remained largely forcused on the fairy in the pic.

>>1437968

Same here.

>>1437968
>>1437983

If you would fuck her who would it hurt more: Her or you?

>>1437995
Fa/tg/uy penis couldn't hurt her at all.

>>1437995

RESISTANCE ONLY MAKES MY PENIS HARDER

>>1438000
Fairy: OH! Anonymous, it's so big!
Fa/tg/uy: You're two inches tall, it fits in your palm.
Fairy: Let's just pretend you didn't say that and be glad we found each other.

Has anyone here read Bastards and Bloodlines?
Very relevant.

>>1438144

No. Info plox.

>>1437929
that's the CORNERSTONE of humanities power. we simply started as a tremendously sexy slime mold, and we've been selectively breeding with other races ever since to make the forms you see today.

>>1438000
>>1438038

Bah, haven't you guys ever seen a fairy sex doujin?
She writhes her tiny form all over the thing, grasping it in a two armed hug, kissing and licking between every vein.

Every beat of your pulse like a full thrust, stimulating her entire body at once. The heat is almost too much for her to take, he tiny wings beating furiously as she looses control and her muscles spasm.

And then finally, you both climax, and she's bathed in veritable ocean of your love juices, every inch of her perfect fairy skin slick and shiney and soiled with your thick cream. She tries to clean herself, but its so much she eventually just passes out on your stomach in exhaustion.

Aww yeaaaaahhh....

>>1438158
Oho, Slaanesh approves!

>>1438158
Link to whatever shit you've been reading, sir.

>>1438175
have you ever heard of "bondage faeries"?

>>1438172
So does my erection.

Humans indeed are the basis of crossbreeding for all races. We're like the crossroads to every other race. There are a few DnD lore stories that suggest humans are made from the hands of every deity who built himself a race, and gave us a little bit of each race.

So no single deity denied us a bit of their grace, thus giving us no single cut out of the creationistic cloth. Which let's us have sex with everything.

Attention >>1438178, this is >>1438193
My erection also demands a link to whatever shit you've been reading.

>>1438150
>No. Info plox.
It was a D&D supplement for handling 'halfbreeds'. Pretty well done, though incredibly illuminating in terms of racism.

what about these mary sue half EVERYTHING characters?

>>1438208
a LINK? damn, I read it a long while ago. can't you just google? that's what I would do if I was looking. just google the name, you should find it.

>>1438158
Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

>>1438206
So why did none of them give us a lifespan? Come on, even fucking hobbits live longer than us!

Bastards & Bloodlines: A Guidebook to Half-breeds

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WG9G1TQ6

>>1438210
http://shadowsystems.laurencemartin.org/DND_35Ed/Bastards%20And%20Bloodline.pdf
Enjoy your Mindflayerdrow and Gnomecloakers.

>>1438217
Shorter life means more desperation in the struggle to advance. Also, humans aren't the shortest lived race. Some have downright depressing lifespans.

Did someone say pixies?

>>1438217
we're WORKING on it, goddamn, it's recessive don't you know. it's hard to breed a race like this.

>>1438231
Yeah, some of that stuff is odd. I feel sorry for the half-gnolls, though. The book treats them poorly.

>>1438217

Our eternal downside. We can breed with EVERYTHING. But look at varying lifespans of many many things. I mean a human living to 100 can outlive 2 and a half generations of orcs. But we get 1/2, if a 1/3 of other race lifespans. If they all were added up, and divided by how many there were, I'm sure it'd possibly average out to a little more than the average human lifespan. Granted who knows. Maybe the fact we live such short lives is the instant we know we can make so many is we might -try- to make so many. Nature's stranglehold on our half breed schmorgasbord.

>>1438217
less purity of essence, less lifespan. more chaos, less stability.

>>1437929
It makes sense to me. Is an immortal creature that has guarded its virginity for over nine thousand years going to want to give it up for some pasty elf or rather the be-muscled bad-ass who just wandered through her village after an orc-slaughtering campaign? Alpha male wins.

>>1438178
Oh god, that has to be my all-time favorite doujin. Funny as shit.

>>1438258 Humans vs Halfings: We get more stabbity
Tell that to the sexy shoeless god of war.

>>1438244
Your love of pixies is always welcomed here.

Speaking of pixies...

Ooopse, forgot my proast.

>It makes sense to me. Is an immortal creature that has guarded its virginity for over nine thousand years going to want to give it up for some pasty elf or rather the be-muscled bad-ass who just wandered through her village after an orc-slaughtering campaign? Alpha male wins.

case in point

>>1438313
I approve and desire more hot pixies.

>>1437929
Pic of the lady's version of the improved supremely dapper moustache?
Maaaaaaybe.

>>1438255
In WHFB I recall some post battle short story about a big fight between greenskins and dwarves with human and elf allies. The humes was just a regiment of pistoliers or something, which fled before a chariot charge, and never regrouped. Brilliant showing from the manlings.

The Elvses convinced the Dwarves after their victory to forgive the Humans because of their short lifespan, an commented on how silly it is to waste space in the book of grudges on non-chaos humans because their lifespans are so damn short in the GRIMDARK warhammerverse.

>>1438324
While I feel they were a bit patronizing, they have a point concerning how differently grudges should be handled.

>>1438259
Have we found this artist yet?

>>1438324
Fast cavalry working as intended?! How is it that dwarfs live 600 years and never come up with any better tactics than standing there and taking it on the chin?

>>1438317
they get turned on by the fact she will outlive him

>>1438258
Purity of essence?

...

Are those female elves trying to steal your precious bodily fluids, general?

>>1438364
Fredrik K.T. Andersson
http://www.elfwood.com/art/a/n/andersson/andersson.html
and
http://www.naorhy.com/fkta.htm

>>1438258
>Purity of Essence
Finally, the creatures we have been looking for!

Let us test this strange 'human' tendency towards interspecies breeding.

Here is a female troll. Do you find her attractive?

>>1438420
:3

>>1437925

I hope this is a copypasta (I didn't even read that shit), otherwise you really will never get laid.

Alright then. How about orc woman?

>>1438430
:]

>>1438430
little too muscular for my tastes, she'd probably crush me with those powerful yet feminine thighs

>>1438426
>I hope this is a copypasta (I didn't even read that shit), otherwise you really will never get laid.

This statement is amusing in so many ways.

>>1438440

snu snu

>>1438430
Wow, I remember that from LONG ago. It was the first time I had fapped just to muscles.

modo codo

Relevant.

>>1438451
Snu Snu reminds me of a joke I know from long ago, revolving around an african tribe dealing out a similar (but man-on-man) thing on unfortunate explorers. Any takers?

Using a human as the grandfather of all the children in my genetic experiments, which races would I have to breed with human and then cross breed within the half breeds to make the perfect war machine? One that excels naturally at magic and combat while living a natural life of hundreds or thousands of years?

human, ork, elf, and dragon. the best combo of those would be unstoppable.

>>1438488
Yep, that's gross. I surf gurochan regularly and that still makes my stomach churn. I'll stay with my 10% thank you.

>>1438488

Those are bolts, not screws. GET YOUR SIMPLE MACHINES STRAIGHT, BITCH!

>>1438559

Can't unsee.

>>1438259
I like the way the centaur woman and the "drider"(?) are looking at each other...

>>1438596
I, for one, don't.

>>1438596
ARGHHHHH I HATE YOU, every single time

>>1438596
man-scorpion

or rather woman-scorpion

What baffles me is why every last one of the kids is a girl.

It's obvious: the elves who breed with humans are pedophiles, plain and simple. A 20-year-old elf looks like a 10-year-old human.

>>1438636
Not true. There are two boy there - ther wolfboy and the scorpionboy.

I love Andersson. http://www.elfwood.com/art/a/n/andersson/andersson.html

>>1438636
because furry artists are sick fucks
it is implied that the "dad" will do te daughters...

>>1438559
pokeymons does not know what machines is

>>1438654
Wolf kid's a girl, you can tell from the eyelashes

>>1438655
Hell, once those girls get older I wouldn't mind banging them.

>>1438655
You're saying you wouldn't?

>>1438655
Hey, fuck off. Andersson is a regular Anonymous here and he did some awesome drawfaggotry for me back in the day.

>>1438674
Thought he had suddenly slapped on a bra before I realized he had a shotgun.

Oh exploitable?

And suddenly, pixies, hundreds of them!

Boy, I can't go much longer without delving into some pron.

/r/ pixie barbarians

>>1438706
Well, this is /tg/. Where no one posts promotions... ever.

>>1438706

mods on /tg/ are damn near nonexistent so you can get away with posting NSFW images

>>1438785

Oh no, I'm not falling for that one again!

Hmm... almost out, yep.

Well, save the shittiest for last, I always say.

>>1437935
You kidding? Behind every build there's a bonus feat and an extra skill point each level.

>>1438785
I got a 5 day ban for posting in a thread with prons in. :/

>>1438792
You do understand us /d/enizens will accept you with open arms? As will the mods.

I wonder if a pixie centered game would work. Sort of a typical fantasy kingdom but where everyone, including the players, is a pixie so they'd be "normal" scale. While humans would be mountain scale giants, hundreds of feet tall.

"You brave adventurers must defeat the army of giants who are destroying our ancestral lands."

Where the big bad evil guy is a level 1 human commoner plowing his field.

>>1438806

Fuck I'd play it!

>>1438806
YES!!

>>1438803

Hmm... good idea.

Taking it to /d/!

>>1438806
Fund this!

>>1438806

This one human, his name isn't Gargamel is it?

>>1439061

RAVAGE THE LAND AS NEVER BEFORE!
TOTAL DESTRUCTION, FROM MOUNTAIN TO SHORE!

Oh hell, the smurfs must be like ogres to the pixies.

THE SMURFS ARE FUCKING COMMIES

ITT

Chinese=/=Human

>>1438806

Reminded me of this

>>1439103
ITT

We state the obvious.

>>1439103
well duh, Asians don't have souls

>>1439266
They have something better than souls.

Ancient Chinese Secrets.

>>1439266
I have always wondered, do half-asians have souls?

>>1439321
Silly anon, humans cannot breed with animals.

>>1439338
Ths thread disproves that theory.

>>1438488
source?

>>1438818
link?

>>1438420

As for the female troll: that depends. Will she eat me if I can't satisfy her?

Seriously, trolls have fucking insane sexual stamina. Twenty times in six hours is standard, isn't it?

>>1439548
i thought they reproduced by simply getting something chopped of and a new troll grows out of it?

>>1439572

That's orks.

>>1439368
http://bittenhard.deviantart.com/

>>1439548
>Seriously, trolls have fucking insane sexual stamina.

This is the regenerate species, they cannot be satisfied in the traditional sense. They can orgasm, but they don't have a limit. Number of orgasms will generally be less important than wearing her out mentally.

>>1438806
Asassin + death attack = problem solved

>>1439736
DM: "As your blade connects with the great giant's spine, you hear a great rumbling from afar, and the very pressure in the air seems to change. The great beast has raised its arm, and a hand unlike any you have ever seen is rushing towards you in a blur. DC40 Reflex"
Assassin Pixie: <rolls> "Fuck."

see, that's why monsters hate humans: we're stealing their women!

>>1439585
Thanks, Sadly the best image I've seen is the one posted above...

think about it:
usually, physical attributes that aren't the norm in a given culture are seen as attractive. humans would really be attractive to most non human arces:
- dwarves: "oh, his chin is almost hairless, hwo cute!"
- elves: "hairy legs? RAWR!"
- orcs: "no tusks? interesting..."
- trolls: "fat humans are so cuddly!"
halflings/gnomes: "so tall... *swoon*"

etc.

>>1439548>Seriously, trolls have fucking insane sexual stamina.


Ragnar slammed his meatrod deep into the troll's fishy asshole. It struggled violently against the anal intrusion, but adamant chains held it fast.

Ragnar's calloused hands gripped the troll's warty green hips.

"ENLARGE ME" Roared the warrior. Lidda pointed the wand at Ragnar, a ray of proteous energy shot forth. The warrior's already heaving muscles heaved larger, bursting out of his tunic. The troll screeched in pain as its anal cavity was torn from within.

Ragnar pumped furiously, magic coarsing through his veins. He could feel the troll's reneration tightening around his massive member.

The force of his mighty gyrations dragged the thick oaken table, troll and all, across the stone floor.

>>1439848
Actually that's a pretty good analog of how people react to foreigners in our world

>>1439848
>orcs: "IS SMALLER RAEP RAEP RAEP"

>>1439848
enjoy fapping to mongoloids.

>>1439947
not really. it's just the niggers that want the white wimminz because niglettes are disgusting and we all know it. which is why you rarely see couples the other way around.

>>1439922

>>1439947

you mean there's a people out there that would find neckbeards attractive?

>>1439975
as a white cracker male i would gladly fuck a black chick if she looked decent and had a laid back personality.

most black chicks are either too high strung or too sexually inhibited (and wasn't a whore)

>>1439848
The problem with that is that the differences are fuckall huge, whereas IRL ones are skin and some facial features. Yeah, really fucking epic.

An orc would probably on average be disgusted by the thought of actively _being together_ with someone as weak as the average non-orc female, a halfling would surely not find someone overly tall interesting beyond a taboo/fetish level, and dwarves the same as both above with the average human's elongated frame, relatively hairless build, and outright wimpy attitude.

And the troll doesn't give a fuck. Anything that isn't 9 foot tall, green, and can't survive that first throat-cutting swipe in greeting, falls in the category of _food_.

>>1439975

But every culture always portrays other countries women, so long as they aren't at war, as being more attractive than the ones at home.

>>1439983

Yes, in fact because neckbeards are so repulsive by the general population the people who would be attracted to you for your alien qualities would be truly beautiful goddesses\gods who are bored with each others perfection and appreciate your flaws as wondrous gifts of individuality

>>1439975
Oh please. There's a reason why every "african-american" is one fifth white, and a great fucking chunk of the white populace has black parents just a few steps down the line.

Take it to /b/.

>>1440010
>every "african-american" is one fifth white
>one fifth

What.

>>1440035
wat

I want to play as a half-orc who isn't rapespawn. His parents fell in love, maybe endured some Romeo/Juilet hardships, the settled down in some quiet forest to raise a family. He visits them sometimes, and usually brings souvenirs from his adventures.

And I'm pretty sure his mom is the orc.

>>1440002
Most humans would consider being with an orc to not be in the area of incredibly fun, either. However, they keep breeding and orcs do seem to rape... love human woman in any case. Trolls can be weird in that they are indeed a wee bit crazy, but they're also not retarded.

We can only assume that some orcs/elves/gnolls/dwarves like things a bit different and that humans are prevalent enough to be there to woo them. Although again, the limited number of humans who are interested means such populations are a little low.

Thus speaks a /d/enizen.

>>1440047
Paladin father saved Orc woman from danger, say necromancer or something else everyone seems to hate, and couldn't kill her in cold blood.

Had to keep her captive to fulfill his vows and so she became his partner on his adventures, eventually they fall in love.


Some one else can refine that as I know it's full of holes.

>>1440055
Well, there's people who fuck midgets and whatnot IRL, so I don't see why someone wouldn't want a proportional and able-bodied dwarf/gnome/halfling lass then with this in mind. And half-orcs are just hunks with the most extreme case of butterface(buthisface?) ever.

>>1440101
Oh, come on now. Who could resist this face?

>>1440115
This is a fairly realistic image and I could see someone considering it handsome. Maybe elves see humans like that.

>>1440115
Match that up with the orcish buff build and a straigthforward and confident attitude, and I'm sure he gets his fair share of barwenches.

>>1440115

Dont you love the way the 3rd Ed PHB art portrays all non-humans as retarded asians?

>>1440115
Thats one sexy beast.

>>1440236
Yes, actually.

>>1439811
I don't think you know how death attack works
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/prestigeClasses/assassin.htm#deathAttack

Lol americunts.

It haes teh muscle, wimminz MUST LURV IT!

Guys, that THING looks like a borderline retarded jock with
a) an eyeborw problem
b) horse teeth with pointy bits
c) a cut-off nose. literally

>>1440258
>Guys, that THING looks like a Half-Orc

Shortened it for you.

>>1440258
I'm attracted to him.

>>1440277

That probably means you have a few screws loose.

he could wear a bag over his head, or a face-obscuring mask

>>1440258
I'm a eurofag, and I still think an Half-Orc adventurer would get all the pussy he could ever desire.

In a world of farmers that die at 40 due to malnutrition, this guy comes in their with a few hundred kills beneath his belt, enough cash to build several towns, and a body you could construct 10 normal commoners out of. They'll be flocking his cock, even if they'll be dissing that face.

Also, barwenches/"someone" =/= all members of the female gender

>>1440283
Not really. He looks tough, but kind at the same time. A gentle giant.

>>1440296
>a body you could construct 10 normal commoners out of

I lol'd.

>>1440300
Your friendly neighborhood half-orc!

>>1440115it's a Chinese guy

I don't get it

Try as I might, I can't find a copy online of the Arcanum book where the guy writes about the prejudice his two half-orc children had to face in "modern" society.

Also, things like Alter Self, Shapechange, Polymorph, etc.

That's why half-dragons exist, not because of Jonniass Dragonraper

>>1440419
You don't know that.

>>1440419
Doesn't explain why a giant lizard would have sex with a mammal, even while disguised. For example, I have very little interest in having sex with some lobster. And I doubt this would change if I could somehow temporarily transform my appearance into that of a lobster.

>>1440445
Just because you wouldn't doesn't mean that I wouldn't, too.

>>1440445
Well it's probably only the really bizarre dragons, with human-fetishes.

So it would only be the /d/ragons having sex with humans.

>>1440445
Dragons are just that fucked up.

>>1440445
depending on the lobster I betcha I would

>>1440445
>For example, I have very little interest in having sex with some lobster.

Lobsters aside, I wouldn't mind sleeping with an alien, though I prefer that it didn't resemble an animal from earth. For instance, a predator is odd, but not unloveable given that it had an agreeable temperament. Also, even if a dragon was sentient, I wouldn't be entirely comfortable wit it being quadruped, though that doesn't mean I'd let a little thing like species get in between us.

Dragons get some nice stat increases as they age, too. I'm sure a Adult or older silver dragon wouldn't have any trouble getting into a choice human's pants. (between 20 and 30 CHR, without factoring in spells or magic items)

Dragons are notoriously virile, able to crossbreed with virtually any creature. Among metallic dragons, crossbreeding often occurs when the dragon assumes another shape and falls in love, hower briefly, with a nondragon.

Chromatic dragons may simply feel adventuresome and create crossbreed as a result.

>Draconomicon

they live for like a few thousand years

you're gonna want to try plenty of shit, i know i would

>>1440554
lol except dex, which stays at 10.

TARGET DEX GUYS!

(of course, I would expect something with 20+ int, 20+ wis to be smart enough to cover its weaknessess)

((unless the weakness is hot dickings))

>>1439983
Furries.

>>1440296
Money makes everyone beautiful.

>>1440461
Yes indeed. See otherkin.

>>1440529
I hear Xenu is still eligible.

Dragons are as big of whores as humans, they breed with EVERYTHING. Hmm, would that make half-human, half-dragon the biggest whore of all?

There's at least one person in this thread who likes their sex consensual, missionary position, no items, Final Destination.

>>1440650
Are they a mage that can cast polymorph?

>>1440664
Oh ya, and suggestion.

>>1440635
>Hmm, would that make half-human, half-dragon the biggest whore of all?

Their sperm would flow out of them like a cloud, covering entire towns in instantaneous pregnancy.

>>1440668
Additionally, it would spread like a plague from one person to another until whole countries bore the features of this individual.

>>1440688
Huh.
So that's why there's a nation of Dragonborn in 4E.

>>1440664
I put on my robe and my wizard hat...

>>1440708
Holy shit.

(Aren't dragonborn non-dragon related races that have gone through a ritual though?)

>>1440736
That makes shit amount of sense.

>>1440736
What dragonborn were: creatures that went through a ritual.
What dragonborn will be in 4E: their own nation. I don't know that I've read a WotC race description of them, but I presume them to be able to breed more of themselves. Perhaps the ritual began it, or can allow others to change to the race of Dragonborn.

>>1440773
The 'ritual' is spreading your legs while a half human/half dragon is within 100 miles.

>>1440793
GET THE CHILDREN INSIDE! THE SPERM SWARM APPROACHES!

>>1440814
what you say? a swarm of children approaches to get sum sperm inside of them?

So the ritual to become a dragon born is to become covered in the sperm of a half-human, half-dragon, and the nation of dragon born was caused by a half-human, half-dragon that created a wandering cloud of sperm that infects whole cities at a time?

>>1440603

Speaking as a furry: fuck off, neckbeards make anyone look like shit.

Worse, they make you look like Amish shit.

ARCHIVE THIS THREAD AS THE ORIGIN OF DRAGONBORN RACE

>>1441074
I'm sorry, but did a furry just say that neckbeards ruin everything? lulz

>>1441181
well...we do.

>>1441224
That may be, but at least we're human. Furries are a sub-race, and never let anybody tell you different.

>>1441257
Humans breed with sentient creatures (such as elves, faries, pixies, dwarves, orcs, etc) and we produce halfbloods. These halfbloods are more or less human, but furries are the result of humans breeding with feral animals through a combination of physical and magical aid.

They are inhuman and in kindness, we end their misery before they suffer their existence too long.

>>1441224
lulz

Also, genetic engineering + various races = one perfect being?

Or not, since there isn't a "live forever" gene

Well, with Elves, it's pretty close there...

>>1441379
Im convinced that its a mortality gene. Elves just lack it. That is why lifespans get increased or decreased for crossbreading. It is a weakening or strengthening of a mortality gene.
Its a weird thought but it may have promise. Could lead to some fun motives for adventures too. . .

>>1441442
there's something like that in real life too,well not a true gene but a part of the chromosome called telomeres which allegedly prevent mutations from occurring on non reproductive cells. if they wear down too much the cell self destructs to avoid turning into a cancer one, bot during cancer the do keep replicating even if the have worn down the telomeres completely.

at any rate some people believe that this natural wear down of cells is what causes ageing so you can bullshit your way into claiming that lifeforms whit longer lifespans are such because of of their stable genome, and that by the same reason they not only age slower but also have less degenerative illness like diabeetus and the cancer that's killing my dissertation.