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    This is seriously the first real news post in over a year.

    File :1203264475.jpg-(212 KB, 1111x983, SCORPION.jpg)
    212 KB HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)11:07 No.1185885  
    crap. let me explain my situation to you, /tg/. I'm making a mad scientist an a cyberpunk game, and another player decided to make a "Crafting character". this is a terrible problem. now I need to out-creative him, and I don't think my "scorpions in EVERYTHING" aproach will really seal the deal, yknow? any ideas to out-original this other asshole?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)11:11 No.1185899
    Scorpions that have tiny scorpions in their venom, so that when they sting someone thousands of little scorpions get in their bloodstream and sting them from the inside out.

    Have the crafting character create some sort of launching device for said scorpions.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)11:13 No.1185903
    no, my mad scientists is also a crafting character. I can't work WITH him. and I'm already going to make scorpions that work like chryssalids, so that if you get stung you explode into a pile of deadly, deadly scorpions. possibly with the ability to shoot fire out of their claws.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)11:18 No.1185917
    maybe I should ALSO include, like stilts on everything. scorpions on stilts. how's that sound?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)11:20 No.1185921
         File :1203265223.jpg-(13 KB, 166x238, Destynova.jpg)
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    Nanomachines and an undying love for flan?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)11:21 No.1185925
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)11:22 No.1185928
    allright, I might regret this, but who the hell is desty nova?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)11:26 No.1185941
    Batshit insane mad scientist from the Battle Angel Alita manga. Loves nanomachines like no one's business.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)11:27 No.1185943
    Fallout 2 Intelligent Rad Scorpion.

    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)11:28 No.1185948
    really? I love nanomachines!
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)11:30 No.1185956

    Eccentric cyber-doctor and all-around mad scientist.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)11:38 No.1185995
    so, aside from flan-eating, is there anything ELSE I should be doing? some kind of supergadget?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)11:39 No.1186000
    Become crippled from the waist down and turn yourself into a cybernetic version of the Scorpion King.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)11:41 No.1186007
    brilliant! I'll even set up dart launchers with poison in them in the scorpion's tail!
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)11:42 No.1186008
    If a PC dies, put their brain in a cannon shell to fire at the enemies from a cannon mounted on a giant scorpion.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)11:42 No.1186013
    Restoring the brains of broken people and putting them in dangerous cyborg bodies works. As well as trying to defeat your own Karma.

    This too. All the better if the stinger can shoot out miniturized scorpions.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)11:43 No.1186020
    how about teensy, aerodynamic pods that unfold INTO scorpions?
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)11:44 No.1186022
    can't I put their brain... yknow... in a scorpion first?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)11:51 No.1186062

    Now you're onto it!
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)11:54 No.1186069
    allright, these ideas are all well and good, but are they hyper-original yet? I say we add things until they are.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)11:57 No.1186082
         File :1203267442.jpg-(35 KB, 340x370, Scorponok.jpg)
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    Clouds of nanomachine scorpions that swarm in the form of a bigger scorpion with the tail flowing into objects like a focused spray of water whenever it strikes. When they poison a target, their nanomachines multiply inside the target until it explodes and another cloud of scorpion nanomachines is born. Use it to ravage an ecosystem and rule the world.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)11:58 No.1186087
    do I THREATEN to use it to get power, or do I use it and say I can get rid of it to get power?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:01 No.1186100
    When the scorpions launched from pods sting the PCs, they inject scorpion-shaped nanomachines that transform the victim into cyborg anthropomorphic scorpions that serve you, and can also launch more scorpion pods from their stingers. Then, once they die, they collapse into a swarm of genetically-enhanced scorpions that can fire gobbets of venom at hyper-velocities from their stingers, allowing the poison to break the skin and enter the bloodstream even from long range.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)12:02 No.1186102
    I love it, but I Doubt I'll use it on the PCs. I am a PC, after all. just with access to mad scientleries.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:02 No.1186108
    Both. If the former fails, unleash it and wait for them to come crawling back.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)12:04 No.1186112
    and now I only need to think up an invention that'll stop it.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:07 No.1186129

    Simple, nano-machine scorpions that sting the scorpions, injecting even smaller nano-scorpions that multiply inside the nanobot, turning it into a swarm of scorpion eater nano-scorpions. That then implode into harmless scorpion shaped trinkets.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:07 No.1186130

    Another cloud of nanomachines that has the sole purpose of attacking the scorpion nanos, and are otherwise harmless to anything else. Perhaps they form a symbiotic relationship with plants or some shit so that they can mass reproduce through solar energy or some shit to constantly reproduce themselves to fight the scorpion nano machine threat.

    Also, I am totally just talking out my ass here.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)12:08 No.1186136
    your ass, eh? HIRE IT!
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)12:16 No.1186171
    the real question here, however, is this. Can I make a scorpion for EVERY situation?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:19 No.1186182

    Use your imagination. Scorpion portable showers. Scorpion cutlery. Scorpion shaped walker tanks that shoot scorpions. Seriously, just take something normal and make it a scorpion.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:19 No.1186183

    Why not? Works for Batman.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:20 No.1186184
    It would probably be easier to think of situations where a scorpion cannot provide a useful solution, or operate as a vector for the solution. I'm drawing a blank.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)12:20 No.1186185
    hmmm... how about scorpion chairs? those seem hard. and a scorpion monitor.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)12:21 No.1186187
    all right, this is what the thread is about now. possible situations where scorpions CANNOT help in a situation. go.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:23 No.1186195
    Scorpion chair is easy, look at the shape. No arm rests though, but the stinger tail is the back rest, with the body being the sitting area, with the claws lifted up so you can put your feet on them. Hmm, Scorpion monitor. Just put a monitor on the scorpions tail and call it a day.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)12:24 No.1186198
    damn, you got me.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:25 No.1186201

    Treating a Scorpion's sting? Curses! I just realized, a scorpion who's stinger is filled with anti-venom.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)12:26 No.1186205
    uh... uh... how about removing a scorpion epidemic? no, scorpion killer scorpions. damn!
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:28 No.1186209
    no you fool, the thorax is the monitor and the claws have the surround sound system.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)12:29 No.1186215
    allright. now, here's the challenge. can YOU describe a room decorated in the PERFECT scorpion motif?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:37 No.1186246
    moar Nod
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:43 No.1186276
    Screw hypodermics and syringes, various scorpions should be bred with venom with the same effects as morphine etc. and a breed of "hollow" scorpion that sucks like a syringe.

    Stealing FF7's idea, scorpion robot with guns for claws and a lazer shooting tail.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)12:44 No.1186282
    a tail? that shoots LASERS? madness! I will put the laser in the mouth, and shoot POOOOOIZZZOOOON
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:45 No.1186285

    A hollowed out scorpion.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)12:46 No.1186294
    I don't know, will it be scorpion-y enough on the inside? I think not!
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)12:52 No.1186318
    It's a fucking Scorpion hollowed out to serve as a living space, how much more scorpiony do you want?

    Wall art depicting scorpions in a classical fashion? A scorpion based bidet that shoots water up your arse from the stinger?

    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)12:52 No.1186323
    >Wall art depicting scorpions in a classical fashion? A scorpion based bidet that shoots water up your arse from the stinger?

    more like that. MUCH MORE! GET TO WORK!
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)13:03 No.1186365

    Scorpion oil lamps were the oil reservoir is in the claws and tail! Instead of sinks, SCORPIONS! The claws are twisted like taps the mouth is the basin and tail SHOOTS FUCKING VENOM IN YOUR FACE INSTEAD OF WATER! Instead of a toilet a fucking SCORPION that uses it's mouth a a bowl and flushes with MORE VENOM! You'd never have to clean it! SCORPION SHOWER THAT SHOOTS MORE FUCKING VENOM! When you ring the door bell the letter box opens and a SCORPION STINGS YOU! All handles are made from SCORPION tails! Garden hose? NO IT'S A SCORPION TAIL THAT SHOOTS EVEN MORE FUCKING VENOM!
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)13:03 No.1186368
    also, could you explain the scorpions portrayed in a classic style?
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)13:04 No.1186371
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)13:16 No.1186401
    what can I do to reward your hard work, citizen?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)13:19 No.1186415

    Those would be scorpions lounging around in repose, or turned towards the viewer. All eyes should follow whoever is in the room, then once their back is turned the scorpions nanoconstruct themselves, crawl out of the paintings, and try to sting the person. One room should contain a gigantic stained glass window portraying Scorpion Jesus, which will also do the whole nanomachine bit when the intruder turns their back, stinging with the glass plates (which, upon closer examination, are actually made of thousands of tinted scorpions).
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)13:20 No.1186418
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)13:22 No.1186426
    Legalese it.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)13:23 No.1186430
    if d20, then make the assclimber character
    can't get more creative than that
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)13:25 No.1186433
    I don't think I CAN legalese it. I don't even really know what that means.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)13:32 No.1186451
    Oh, and something me and someone else thought of.

    Stinger stings buildings and absorbs nano scorpions (that have turned other stuff into them). Which it then melts down and re-shapes into more scorpion tanks that shoot nano-scorpions. The scorpion tanks come out of the mouth.
    It's also a huge scorpion tank itself.
    And has turrets on the back.
    That shoot nano-scorpion shooting scorpion tanks.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)13:36 No.1186473
         File :1203273381.jpg-(14 KB, 400x378, highfive.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)14:30 No.1186669
         File :1203276635.jpg-(532 KB, 1536x1024, MKD_Scorpion_HIREZ.jpg)
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    Did someone call me?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)14:32 No.1186675
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)14:36 No.1186690
    yeah. it does. now I will surely win ANY creative-off
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)14:36 No.1186691
    Oh, and /r/'ing drawfaggotry of that.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)14:37 No.1186693
    This thread rocks me like a hurricane.
    ...a hurricane made of nano-scorpions.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)14:44 No.1186718
    you should've seen the thread where we came up with the SCORPIONS IN EVERYTHING idea. that one was awesome too.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)14:46 No.1186729
    oh, hell yes. DRAWFAGS! commence your drawfaggotry!
    >> Dagda !hTbo821v7U 02/17/08(Sun)14:53 No.1186762
    -Trained scorpion-shaped robots to accomplish your every whim.
    -Trained robot-shaped scorpions to accomplish your every whim.
    -Trained robot-shaped robots and scorpion-shaped scorpions to shake things up a little.

    Lose track of which scorpions are robots and vice versa. Have half your inventions start out as devices to tell them apart, though they always wind up being death rays and thermal x-ray goggles instead.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)14:55 No.1186775
    I like it. in the end, I'll eventually find out the day I forget to put out the scorpion kibble.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)15:03 No.1186837
    also, the concept of scorpions eating scorpion kibble is ADORABLE
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)15:47 No.1187075
    Where are all the drawfags in our hour of need?!
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)15:48 No.1187084
    Drawfags now only make crappy avatars of their own fursonas.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)15:51 No.1187100
    What exactly do you guys want drawn?

    I could totally do this.

    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)15:51 No.1187106
    we need basically anything from this thread. all of it is GOLDEN.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)15:54 No.1187122
    >>Wall art depicting scorpions in a classical fashion?

    Incorporate the kibble and we'll have our selves a winrar.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)15:56 No.1187128
    What we need drawn is Scorpion (from Mortal Kombat) riding this:

    Stinger stings buildings and absorbs nano scorpions (that have turned other stuff into them). Which it then melts down and re-shapes into more scorpion tanks that shoot nano-scorpions. The scorpion tanks come out of the mouth.
    It's also a huge scorpion tank itself.
    And has turrets on the back.
    That shoot nano-scorpion shooting scorpion tanks.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:00 No.1187147
         File :1203282017.png-(44 KB, 500x500, scorpwip.png)
    44 KB
    workin' on the wall art
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:02 No.1187160
    In b4 OMG KAWAIII DESU!!!! ^.^
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)16:02 No.1187161
    fukkin' save'd
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:03 No.1187165
    That's right, I said fursonas. Ego stroking, oversexed, anthropomorphized and cutified crap. Also did I mention boring?
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)16:04 No.1187170
    why must you do this.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:04 No.1187173
    im sorry OP but this scorpionshooting scorpionbullets from your scorpionguns while you sing the mighty scorpionhymn as you scorpiondrop into the scorpionzone is almost as Fail as Spacewolves.

    on the other hand anyone who describes their cyberpunk archtype as "olol imma craftin character" is also destined for fail, so maybe you'll be OK.

    im just hoping you are all 13 and will just go back to your ebberon game once you've had your jollies.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:05 No.1187174
    Giant Scorpions with venom that when stung turns people in to Giant Scorpions with venom that when stung turns people in to Giant Scorpions with venom that when stung turns people in to Giant Scorpions with venom that when stung turns people in to Giant Scorpions with venom that when stung turns people in to Giant Scorpions with venom that when stung turns people in to Giant Scorpions with venom that when stung turns people in to Giant Scorpions with venom that when stung turns people in to Giant Scorpions with venom that when stung turns people in to Giant Scorpions.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)16:06 No.1187180
    actually, the idea was generated from /tg/ last time I asked them about gadget ideas. blame yourself.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:06 No.1187183
    and im the guy that suggested crazy-fold out spring legs or really robust gogo-gadget extendo arms from the last thread.

    sad to see a mad scientist fall to such an uninventive level. T_T
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)16:09 No.1187191
    hey, I still have gadget ideas of my own, I'm just not posting them.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:09 No.1187194

    Don't be so bitter my precious neckbeard, just because I'm not willing to spend my days slaving away to make something entertaining for just you. If that was public opinion, wouldn't I be chased out by now?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:09 No.1187195
    Besides, SCORPION DOOMFORTRESS wins all
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:10 No.1187200
         File :1203282641.jpg-(49 KB, 657x598, cruisefish.jpg)
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    Avian-Launched Guided Cruisefish?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:11 No.1187204
    no, scorpion guided cruise scorpion
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:11 No.1187205
    in b4 Doomrider Crackychan riding a scorpion or something.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:13 No.1187216
    It's just you and a handful of other drooling suckups. We just ignore you so you don't get the idea to spread your crap to other threads.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)16:15 No.1187221
         File :1203282940.jpg-(71 KB, 657x598, SKAAOORPEEON.jpg)
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    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)16:16 No.1187223
    stop antagonizing the artfag! he's doing something scorpion-y now!
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:17 No.1187230
    You know, I took requests. I took some time off of them to peek into /tg/ and when I see a cry for a drawfag, I usually answer to the cause. For fun, I draw little cute things to entertain a handful of people for fifteen minutes in a thread. But sure, I'm far too busy pandering to my 'drooling suck-ups' to draw anything but my 'oversexed, anthropomorphized and cutified crap'.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:17 No.1187231
    And then the drawfag became a drawwhore.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)16:20 No.1187242
    I fail to see how that's a bad thing.
    >> Papa Bear 02/17/08(Sun)16:21 No.1187244
    Right now we're working on tiny machines that are essentially small discs that conduct electricity to stay together. They don't have any moving parts, but turn around each other allowing movement or transformation into any shape.

    Use these, programmed to take the shape of a 30 foot scorpion. Instead of shooting poison or mini scorpions, when it hits you with the stinger, it injects itself into you. Now, I imagine that inserting a thirty foot scorpion into a six foot man would be pretty funny.
    >> Papa Bear 02/17/08(Sun)16:23 No.1187253
    Oh, and a scorpion chair is made of wrought silver with upholstery on top. You lay your arms across the legs as they come up before going back down to the floor. There is a monitor in the tail instead of a stinger that can bend down in front of you. Fuck, make it walk for extra creepiness.
    >> Papa Bear 02/17/08(Sun)16:27 No.1187272
    Another idea, (sorry, I'm getting these one at a time) scorpion themed body armor. Instead of having scorpion a motif on it, it is a functioning robot familiar. The Scorpion sits on your back, the legs wrap around your chest, the tail stretches out along your spine and the claws lay atop your shoulders.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)16:29 No.1187288
    now THAT'S awesome.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:30 No.1187290

    Great idea, just replace the bird and the fish with scorpions.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:30 No.1187293

    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)16:30 No.1187294
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:39 No.1187343
         File :1203284381.png-(124 KB, 500x500, scorp.png)
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    I had no idea what to do for the classical art. Any ideas?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:41 No.1187355
    Hey, you.
    Yes, you. That one guy.
    Stop annoying the drawfag. Just because he wasn't interested in drawing your thread doesn't mean you should ruin it for everyone else. Let us have our fucking scorpions.

    Anyway, scorpion car, with legs instead of wheels. The claws are functional and the tail is a combination launcher for various scorpion-weapons, actual scorpions, and nano-scorpion clouds. It also can provide Mach-5 level what-the-fuckery. Springboard off the tail, that sort of thing.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:43 No.1187364
    How about scorpions that are all in a collective Hive mind, all obeying their true mother/father/inventor.

    You got to get the basics and foundations laid before you move on to the big stuff.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:46 No.1187370
    You must uplift a scorpion to human intellect and teach it to play chess

    it must wear tiny spectacles
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:46 No.1187371

    corel or scan?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:47 No.1187373

    I couldn't give a shit what they draw, but the number of threads with avatar fail fags a day keeps rising.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:47 No.1187380
    That's the best mental image I've had in a long time.
    Tiny scorpion uniforms and clothiers. Using scorpion sewing machines.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:49 No.1187390
    And in case you weren't paying attention to the thread, he's drawing the fucking requests and you're still being a dick. Just shut the fuck up.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)16:58 No.1187431
    flying scorpions. either winged or some sort of helicopter-tail.

    you need a pet scorpion that is human sized, and as stated before, it needs tiny spectacles and can play chess. name it jeeves or krone

    also, you need scorpion nanite bodyguards.

    oh, and dont forget, scorpions are the descendants of water-creatures that were huge compared to a human.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)17:03 No.1187453
         File :1203285832.png-(122 KB, 500x500, scorpchair.png)
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    oh god I am not very good at scorpions OR mechanical bits, but some basic concepts?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)17:04 No.1187457
    "Scorpions Playing Poker" comes to mind...
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)17:06 No.1187472
    I applaud your work
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)17:08 No.1187489
    Best use of scorpions in fallout 2 award.
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)17:18 No.1187539
    I would pay a large amount of money to own this chair.
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)17:24 No.1187568
         File :1203287096.png-(117 KB, 500x500, scorpglass.png)
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    last one, gotta get back to working on those requests or I'll never get them done~ Thanks for the fun drawing ideas, guys!
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)17:25 No.1187573

    about 250 bucks and you can make one
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)17:26 No.1187585
    Do a scorp in a little shirt and tie combo with glasses. Possibly playin' chess
    >> HALMAN 02/17/08(Sun)17:27 No.1187589
    how much would it cost for it to move and have a TV in the tail?
    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)17:27 No.1187590

    >> Anonymous 02/17/08(Sun)17:29 No.1187603

    if you are creative and thrifty and an adept engineer and somewhat lightweight...maybe somewhere in the ballpark of 500-750 ?

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