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  • File :1199050430.jpg-(84 KB, 512x384, 1195329940302.jpg)
    84 KB Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)16:33 No.952471  
    ITT things a DM should never say after you roll a natural 20
    >> ZombiePanda 12/30/07(Sun)16:34 No.952473
    "epic", "awesome", "epicly awesome", "fail".
    >> DM Newbie !cIZhae4/xs 12/30/07(Sun)16:34 No.952474
    Rocks fall.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)16:36 No.952478
    "I knocked up your sister"
    >> Salamanders Fanboi !!Wyx1pV1wpO9 12/30/07(Sun)16:39 No.952484
    "You narrowly avoid setting off *all* the nukes"

    That was a fun game.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)16:40 No.952488
    Ok, now you've got your anal circumference...

    ... you critically raep the loli

    ... I like your eyes
    >> parabolic000 !!HfL9M9xslOG 12/30/07(Sun)16:41 No.952490
    you dress in the manner of a male prostitute.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)16:41 No.952492
    I just creamed by pants. Oh, and that's my underwear on your head.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)16:43 No.952495
    "You miss."
    >> Major Damage 12/30/07(Sun)16:43 No.952496
    Ok, the ogre thinks you have a pretty mouth.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)16:47 No.952506
    "That one doesn't count."
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)16:48 No.952507
    "Rule Zero"
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)16:48 No.952508
    re-roll that i wasn't looking
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)16:53 No.952514
    Ok, now roll to confirm the Interpretive Dance Check.
    >> Brownie 12/30/07(Sun)16:53 No.952517
    You try, but you cannot open the door.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)16:54 No.952520
    Cough-cough! *knees table HARD* Oh, you rolled a 4? Well, you fail your save.

    Sad thing is, I actually did that to a player once.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)16:56 No.952530
    >>952520
    Oh you are just the worst kind of person.

    hilarious though
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)17:10 No.952564
    "Um... you still fail."
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)17:22 No.952578
    Defence rolled a natural 21 :rolleyes:
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)17:32 No.952588
    You succeed so much, something bad happens to you! HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR

    Ex: You jump so well you jump right over the platform into the gap on the other side! HAR HAR HAR
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)17:35 No.952593
    Oh wait... this is a reflex check not fortitude.
    Roll again.
    or
    Change of rules, we are now using d10 for these kind of rolls.
    Roll again
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)17:41 No.952605
    "I'm sorry, but in my game, a natural 20 is just a high roll. We don't do criticals here. House rules."
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)17:43 No.952616
    Just as planned.
    >> Bavarian !!zw4foQiM+kI 12/30/07(Sun)17:50 No.952631
    well now you've just made it mad.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)17:53 No.952641
         File :1199055217.jpg-(25 KB, 640x480, angry.jpg)
    25 KB
    >>952605
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)17:57 No.952650
    Congratulations. You just killed a plot essential NPC.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)18:10 No.952664
    "you automatically pass your skill check"
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)18:14 No.952670
    "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do in this situation..."
    >> failchan 12/30/07(Sun)18:17 No.952676
    Well, the good news is you beat the King's diplomacy check... The bad news is, he is entranced, and wants you for a harem-boy.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)18:18 No.952678
    You die.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)18:18 No.952680
    So powerful, you caused a cave-in. You all die.
    >> Random Guardsman !iPeb.UgkzQ 12/30/07(Sun)18:18 No.952681
    "So you rolled a Nat 20 for your Charisma check, eh? Time to roll for the gnoll's anal circumference..."
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)18:21 No.952688
    "You over-succeed and miss your mark, jumping over the boat and into the water on the other side"

    Seriously happend.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)18:27 No.952703
    "slipping as you juggle, you land a critical punch in the kings face. Roll to confirm."
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)21:27 No.953099
    You are in luck, as you clench around the minotaur's phallus, you twist in just the right fashion and cause him to erupt in an untimely climax. He pumps ounce after ounce of thick virile semen into your clenched cavern, that gushes out the sides once it has nowhere else to go; Your thighs are drenched. Unfortunately you made him climax so hard you are instantly pregnant. He is infatuated with you and is instantly ready for another round. Take 10 subdual damage.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)21:54 No.953189
    You hit the skeleton so hard it explodes, Showering you with sharp bone shards. Roll 2D8 damage
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)21:59 No.953212
    "Roll the lich's anal circumferance."
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)22:04 No.953228
    >>953099

    Post the rest.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)22:08 No.953242
    I hope you all killed your DMs. They sound like idiots.
    >> Dagda !hTbo821v7U 12/30/07(Sun)22:08 No.953243
    "Um. Yeah, I wasn't quite expecting that attack to, uh. . .Well, I have good news and bad news."

    "The good news is that you're getting alot of xp. The bad news is that a single level isn't going to make much difference against the enemies you've just made."

    *buzzer rings*

    "The good news is that you've actually managed to hurt him. The bad news is that you've actually managed to make him angry."

    *buzzer rings*

    "The good news is that you've actually managed to kill him. The bad news is that you've lost your paladinhood."

    *buzzer rings*

    "The good news is that you manage to pierce its power source. The bad news is that your sword conducts electricity."
    >> Brownie 12/30/07(Sun)22:15 No.953260
    Good job! Game over.
    >> Piotyr !zH6hFxVy6Q 12/30/07(Sun)22:19 No.953275
    We're playing a roll under your skill level game. You crit failed.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)22:34 No.953315
    >>953189
    I usually play barbarians, so this would be awesome and I can see my DM doing this if I didn't take much damage from the fight and I got 3 nat 20's in a row
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)22:54 No.953416
    "You successfully teabag the hydra's white-hot remains, you take 7d6 of searing damage, and are now sterile."

    True story.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:03 No.953463
    >>952650
    I did that, I rolled three nat 20s in a row, it was the DMs favorite NPC too. :/
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:05 No.953478
    Okay, roll again.
    ...okay, roll again.
    Fuck! I mean, roll again.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:07 No.953484
    >>953416
    oh god I lold for 5 minutes straight...

    >>952495
    is the definitive answer.
    >> Dagda !hTbo821v7U 12/30/07(Sun)23:09 No.953491
    >>953484
    Agreed.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:11 No.953497
    >>953228
    As requested. :3

    The minotaur flips you over, licking his lips in a hungry fashion. He mutters a withering comment in Giantese, something in reference to your chastity; certainly vulgar and exaggerated due to heightened mood.

    He rolls a 15 on the die, overcoming your anal AC with ease, thus splitting your clenched star wide open. As you feel like you are being split in half, you are able to momentarily reflect upon and thank the fact you made him climax so hard... (cont.)
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:18 No.953522
    >>953497
    HEY YOU.

    NO. STOP RIGHT FUCKING THERE.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:20 No.953529
    ....for you feel that its girth and his ferocity would have rendered you unconcious without the added lubrication. Take 18 subdual. What do you do? If he continues at this rate, he'll force a fort save out of you.. fail and you cum, and will be considered charmed for 2d4+2 rounds.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:21 No.953535
    "You hit him in the head so hard, his cranium explodes. You, and the party, are now covered in the Mississippi Senator's brains. Security is wondering what the exploding noise was.
    >> Random Guardsman !4T1uHiOuyE 12/30/07(Sun)23:24 No.953543
    >>953522
    Meh, still can't match the butter golem.

    In b4 somebody posts that thread.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:27 No.953549
    >>953543
    Goddamn, it's on my other comp. At least i can still remember it
    >> Random Guardsman !4T1uHiOuyE 12/30/07(Sun)23:31 No.953560
    >>953549
    I mean, it's not like anyone who saw it would forget it.

    Heh, "OP here, and I hate you all :( " never fails to make me lol.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:33 No.953564
    >>953560
    The most epic derailing I've ever seen, and the single most epic rerailing I've ever taken part in.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:39 No.953593
         File :1199075994.png-(314 KB, 800x2190, Smor.png)
    314 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:47 No.953608
    >>952471
    "You pass your check. Nothing special happens, because criticals aren't applicable to this situation".

    Fuck you, I say I critically Move Silently.
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:48 No.953613
    dm: Make a strength roll.

    player: 20!

    dm: Ok, you help the dopplegangers open the gate.

    players: ...What?

    dm: uhh... shit, roll for initiative!
    >> Anonymous 12/30/07(Sun)23:51 No.953621
    >>953608
    critically moving silently involves flipping and doing a bunch of ninja shit, maybe even making off with the guards wallet without being noticed.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:00 No.953648
    >>953621

    Either that or walking so silently that you don't actually touch the ground anymore.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:01 No.953653
         File :1199077266.jpg-(89 KB, 600x750, FUCKED04.jpg)
    89 KB
    >> Anonymous. 12/31/07(Mon)00:03 No.953660
    >>953648
    If the DM were an asshole, he'd have a critical Move Silently be SO silent that it's uncomfortable for sentient creatures in the area, and they'll be on edge / feel as though there is something amiss.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:11 No.953691
    >>952631
    >>952650
    >>953243

    these made me lol.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:23 No.953727
    >>953522

    I cannot acquiesce to your request.

    The player didnt say stop, either.
    So, moving on..

    A 17. You manage to hold onto consciousness just barely, allowing you to just barely muster a counterattack. Unfortunately your lousy 13 does little to his post-climax state. He follows up with another 15 on the die, before bonuses.

    Your entire body rocks with his continued assault into your anus. The thrusting, groaning and garbled Giantese came in a deluge, depicting you as someone far less moral than you would perfer. Brutally he deals another 15 subdual damage. Your body reacts against your will, forcing you to feel pleasure - the massive beast was ripping it out of you. The question now is if you will climax or pass out from his brutal assault on your anus.

    Just the sound of his hips striking your plush, exposed rear is enough to force a will save, coupled with the pleasure of the taboo nature of it all, different species mingling in coital union. You fail your save with another lousy roll of a 13, and you find a strangled 'yes' hiss out of your lips. Catching the noise with his keen hearing, honed by capturing adventurers rushing through his labyrinth, the minotaur pauses and grunts out in heavily accented common that he knew you enjoyed it in not so many words. When he pulls out of your rear, it is left gaping and empty, your body writhing in need, your mouth unwittingly letting out a groan and a soft 'no'.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:23 No.953731
    Forcing you down in front of him, he shoves that same phallus which had been in both holes into your face, steaming with heat and glistening with the shimmer of both of your sexual fluids. A smear is left upon your cheek, bringing a heavy tone of blush to your face and neck, a gasp to your throat. You feel that if you do not respond to his throaty command in Giantese, understood only due to context, that he will put it back -- which could be good or bad, but you'll likely become unconscious.

    What do you do? You're charmed for the next 5 rounds, but you still have a sense of self preservation.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:25 No.953735
         File :1199078728.jpg-(387 KB, 843x1200, 1188769914372.jpg)
    387 KB
    my reaction to this story.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:27 No.953742
    >>953735

    You sir have amused me
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:29 No.953749
    >>953731
    >>953727
    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN MORE!
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:32 No.953757
    got one for a listen check once, "fuck it, you can hear the atom move."
    later i rolled one again the same night "sorry you can't hear anything through the door..."
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:34 No.953769
    >>953757
    THE ATOMS BEHIND THE DOOR OBVIOUSLY WERENT MOVING FAGGOT.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:44 No.953801
    >>953749
    OK :) (I run for a group of 5, 3 of which are women, 2 men, weekly like this haha)

    Another natural 20.. what was your action again? Well, that's pretty lucky.

    While it is repugnant in the back of your mind, your heightened state allows you to draw the minotaur's bulging shaft into your mouth. You cannot physically take all of it down your throat, but your body does not seem to know that. Swallowing him down into your throat and rapidly pumping the remainder of his member, there is a sudden, rapturous look of surprise and elation upon his features. Tongue lolled out, and braying like an oxen whipped long after needing a break from pulling plow the minotaur can barely stand, hooves wobbling as he seems almost entirely at your mercy. Even your tiny tongue is utilized, twittering the strip of excess flesh on the underside of his cock, making pleasured spasms quaver through his massive 600+ lbs body.

    As you open your eyes to look up at the monster who's member you are gulping down your throat, you realize how insatiably horny you have become, dripping your vaginal juices on the floor beneath you. This is accompanied by a deep moan, and it inflicts 35 subdual damage to the minotaur. He is on the verge of passing out, but he makes his fort save and remains stable, but disabled. However he doesnt seem finished -- he's got the diehard feat apparently.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:47 No.953811
    >>953801
    will you be my new DM?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:48 No.953814
         File :1199080136.png-(34 KB, 640x518, I am hating you to death.png)
    34 KB
    >>953801
    >>953731
    >>953727
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:49 No.953818
    With the death of this character, the thread of the prophecy has been severed. You may either restart from a saved game or continue to play in the doomed world you have created.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:50 No.953822
         File :1199080255.jpg-(8 KB, 200x193, do want.jpg)
    8 KB
    >>953801
    I wish you were my dm.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:52 No.953828
    >>953801
    >>953731
    >>953727
    >>953529
    >>953497
    >>953099

    proceed
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:54 No.953837
    You cleave it in half down the middle, and watch in abject horror as each half begins regenerating, they then collapse onto each other and meld into one Gargantuan troll mage.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)00:59 No.953858
    *DM erupts into maniacal laughter*
    "What? oh, nothing important"
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:00 No.953860
    >>953858
    i'll often laugh manically for no reason, or if i remember a funny joke.

    always keeps my players on their toes.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:03 No.953872
         File :1199081027.jpg-(130 KB, 400x514, 1198539360252.jpg)
    130 KB
    >>953801
    Continue.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:06 No.953883
    >>953872
    I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING!
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:07 No.953888
    >>953872

    Rape shall follow
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:10 No.953897
    >>953801
    I also wish for you to be my dm
    I can totally play and shlick at the same time, infact it increases my RP abilities
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:13 No.953906
    >>953897
    That makes sense, if you play exclusively female characters. Since, as we all know, all women are whores.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:13 No.953910
    Good news is, you slay the beast and leave a small creator. Bad news, the fog clears and you see your standing in the middle of the orphanges petting zoo. 100's of orphan stand there with shocked looks on the little faces and you can hear someone calling for the towns guard.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:15 No.953916
    >>953897

    Mastering the art of masturbating under the game table is a long and complicated proces. Congratulations.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:16 No.953921
    What the fuck is a "hundred is of orphan"
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:18 No.953924
    >>953910

    >Good news is, you slay the beast and leave a small creator.

    Perhaps a sculptor or architect?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:20 No.953928
    >>953910
    >The orphanages petting zoo.
    You know what? FUCK these orphans! What kind of fucking orphanage can afford a petting zoo?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:20 No.953929
    >>953916
    Bonus points if one can do it and have no one notice it.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:21 No.953931
    >>953928

    People actually pay to pet the orphans.
    >> Rival Wombat 12/31/07(Mon)01:21 No.953934
    >>953931
    See, this is how you make an orphanage a profitable businesses!
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:22 No.953935
    >>953928
    This is an 'orphange', not an orphanage. Probably a more advanced version with a higher budget.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:24 No.953940
    >>953935

    Like hell, it couldn't even afford the second 'a'.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:25 No.953942
    More monster fucking, less orphan petting. Hop to, people.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:25 No.953943
    >>953822
    Naturally.
    >>953897
    If you say please and wear a special collar. You have to -mean- it too. <3

    It's the minotaur's turn. It dawns on you that this minotaur should have passed out after his first climax into your little body, now twisted under him and being not-so-forced into swallowing his mammoth cock. This is brought to light when he goes into a barbarian's rage. Groggy momentarily, your monstrous assailant regains some semblance of composure to have it replaced with frantic, frothing heaving.

    Arching down, he grapples you - your touch AC and modifier are insufficient to oppose him now. He flips you upside down, discarding his axe and holding either leg (each calf completely enveloped by his massive hands) apart.

    Tragically, the minotaur gores you with his tongue, whirling it around inside you like a meaty tentacle. He slurps, and engulfs the majority of your mound and taint into his bull-like blunt teeth maw, which you can feel grazing just below your belly button, his drool oozing down your stomach and steadily gaining. I'm going to count this as a 'powerful charge', so it's well over 4d6+12 in damage.

    How much HP do you have left? 5? Well that's not good. Fort save -- roll well. Seems divine favor isn't in you today, his unrelenting assault causes your entire body to wrack in powerful orgasm, making your status fatigued. Hungrily he slurps at your juices, they soon joining his saliva in the descent up your torso.

    I take it you're going to use your lay on hands ability in full to keep in the game, since spell casting is out of the question, and you cant even make verbal spell components at the moment - you're considered pinned and unable to speak. Are you going to attack and hope for the best, or use lay on hands? You're not escaping the grapple..
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:25 No.953944
    >>953940

    Fifty bucks for a vowel will do that to you.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:26 No.953947
    >>953931
    HAI GUIEYZ I'M A WRITER FOR LAW AND ORDER SVU AND LET ME TELL YOU, WHEN THIS STRIKE IS OFF THATS GOING RIGHT INTO THE FUCKING SCRIPT.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:28 No.953952
    >>953947

    I would fuscking lol so hard if that actually happened.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:29 No.953957
    >>953943
    Pretty please with a cat-girl in bondage on top? :3
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:30 No.953959
    >>953947

    What.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:33 No.953968
    >>953952
    I also would find ammusment if that situation became a actual occurance.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:34 No.953969
    >>953947
    this explains SO MUCH
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:37 No.953982
    >>953947
    Have Olivia get raped and crack for Great Justice!
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:38 No.953987
    >>953982
    She'd never snap, shes too strong-willed. She'd probably just shoot the guy a few dozen times.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:38 No.953988
    SVU: IT'S SCRIPTED IN ALL CAPS
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:40 No.953991
    >>953987
    No way, you can see the light through the cracks whenever shes under stress. She's been so close to loosing it for so long its no longer realistic.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:40 No.953992
    >>953943
    I pick whatever action ends in more sex
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:42 No.953998
    >>953942

    Orphans are taking over. People are fapping in the same thread. Orphans.. monster sex.. orphans.. monster sex.. WAIT FUCK NO NOW IM THINKING OF PEDO MONSTER SEX AUUUGH
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:42 No.953999
    >>953987
    Unless she were raped repeatedly, or dosed up with enough heroin to hook 'er for life THEN raped... Repeatedly... For a couple weeks in the storyline... And eventually sold into sexual slavery... And then she's eventually found by Stabler who busts her out, but she's been fucked in so many ways she can never unfuck 'erself...
    >> karpad !eTHOuZDF46 12/31/07(Mon)01:44 No.954007
    >>953982
    have her and her guido partner use excessive force on someone they're convinced is a pedo child molester or something.
    Then the LAW AND ORDER TWIST YOU'LL NEVER SEE COMING is he has an endocrinological disorder and has no testosterone production at all, giving him intense absolute anhedonia. the reason he seemed apathetic and distant during interrogation is because it's chemically impossible for him to show interest in anything, and physically impossible for him to get erect to molest the kiddie.

    then they get kicked off the force for it, and murdered by a homeless guy. who molests their bodies.

    dedicate the rest of the series run to Munch and Tutuola being awesome.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:44 No.954010
    >>953998
    ONE THING AT A TIME HERE
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:44 No.954011
    >>953943
    It seems to me that you're not challenging yourself enough. Try for something really unusual! Minotaurs are boring anyways.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:46 No.954021
    >>954011
    Don't rush him,
    let him finish the story first.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:46 No.954022
    >>954007
    OH MY GOD THATS IT! I'LL HAVE MUNCH AND TUTOLA GANGRAPE HER!
    THIS IS FUCKING GENIUS!
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:47 No.954025
    >>954011
    It was the obligatory 'big hung horny monster' routine for lower levels. =p And it was just -one- encounter.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:47 No.954027
    >>954007
    I second this, if only to see one fucking cop show where they use there nazi mind fuck interrogation tactics in an attempt to railroad someone completly innocent, and it backfire on them as fate demands it should.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:47 No.954028
    >>954011
    Did somebody say "roper?"
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:49 No.954038
    >>953998
    Once our party's CE Rogue killed these two Gnolls and then proceeded to rape their kid.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:49 No.954040
    >>954025
    So, are the entirety of your campaigns like this?

    In other words, basically a group written bizarre erotic novel?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:50 No.954043
    >>954025
    If only this would actually happen in a campaign.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:53 No.954051
    >>954025

    If >>954040 is correct then seriously, please be my DM. I'm not overly weird or anything, but goo people like you are hard to find storyteller-wise.
    >> Boston Tentacle Party 12/31/07(Mon)01:54 No.954053
    I feel a little late to this entire scene, but...

    What the fuck?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:54 No.954054
    >>954051here
    that should be "good" instead of "goo" Typing one-handed on the other hand... is a little trickier than rp'ing
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:56 No.954058
    >>954040
    They're pretty much novel-esque, I don't do all the writing, my players do a lot of writing too. There's fighting and plot too, but sometimes we get completely derailed. Like with the 'fuckweed' encounter. Har.

    >>954043
    It can and does. Go use your imagination and get a group together that can be reasonably mature and not gigglesnort every five seconds and kill the mood by making stupid commentary.

    Now I have to continue this story since I can se people are waiting. :3
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:56 No.954059
    >>954053
    Started out as awesome, drifted into monster sex, then into Law & Order, the more sex.
    Currently this threads power level is over 9000
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:58 No.954064
    ...Screencap worthy?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)01:58 No.954066
    >>954058
    See, that's my problem. Even though most of my group is over or around the age of 25, they act barely half that. Even less so in gaming.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:00 No.954069
    >>952471
    4chanarchive.
    you know what to do.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:02 No.954077
    *rolls 20
    "ooohhh... forgot to tell you, today is OPPOSITE DAY!"
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:03 No.954081
    >>954066

    To be fair, my whole group (ranging from 20-30) are all pretty much like that, too. But not every gaming group is "programmed" for a serious game. And if you're trying to get a more mature, serious campaign going, D&D probably isn't the best system for it, either. It's tendency towards the excessive makes it a little bit inherently ridiculous, so it's harder to have a serious game. White Wolf and some of the Steve Jackson stuff lends itself better to "mature" gaming.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:04 No.954086
    >>954058

    Quick question, are you a girl?

    It's just that I can't see a guy doing this kind of thing and getting away with it so easily.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:05 No.954091
    >>954081
    What part of WoD encourages a serious game? It always struck me as being a bit over the top...
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:06 No.954095
    >>954043
    Let me tell you about this magical world setting.

    Oddly enough it is an acronym called F.A.T.A.L.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:07 No.954101
    >>954066
    >>954081
    >>954091
    BOY OH BOY DO I EVER HAVE THE PERFECT SOLUTION
    http://rapidshare.com/files/80013918/YRPGv3.9.zip.html
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:08 No.954103
    >>954058
    "fuckweed"? Please do elaborate? Plant-sex?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:08 No.954104
    >>954077
    if it is opposite day you are supposed to do everything opposite, but since you are SUPPOSED to do everything opposite on opposite day you need to do everything the same as you normally do.

    I've made a dm break trying to comprehend that simple statement, only proving that he was incompetent
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:08 No.954105
    >>954081
    I use more of a D&D/Homebrew hybrid, it's essentially just D&D but missing 40% of the extra rules and numbers and is more centered on interaction. It like an interactive movie, but with dice. At least my group seems to like it, as I can adapt it to any setting(Fantasy,Sci-Fi,Ero.Etc)
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:09 No.954106
    >>954091

    It is over the top, but the overall vibe of the system is darker and more sinister, so more mature shit kinda blends in better. Not defending it by any means because...honestly, I hate WoD with a passion. I've just always seen it as a somewhat more "serious" or "dramatic" system. D&D has sort of a High Fantasy feel to it, maybe Realistic Fantasy at best. WoD always kinda struck me as somewhere between film noir and a slasher flick.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:09 No.954108
    Jesus... not really certain erotic roleplay can be called mature... fun, yeah, but it's not mature storytelling.
    My BF and I sometimes RP our characters goin' at it, but you keep it out of the group. Some people just aren't comfortable with the crazy stuff.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:13 No.954117
    >>954108
    True, but it sounds awesome when written down and posted to the internet.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:13 No.954119
    can we get some form of an archive for that story? It's actually pretty damned good.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:13 No.954120
    >>954077
    "Great, Doug, but we're playing Alternity."
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:13 No.954121
    Your body tingles as you stiffen amidst your shuddering body, lost in fits of orgasm. Concentration check - okay you passed. You manage to flood your body with the blessing of your diety in your time of need, and the tinkling motes of positive energy cause a slight crackle of energy between the two of you. The minotaur recoils momentarily, gasping as a little bit of the tingling catches him off guard as it travels through his nethers. You feel refreshed, but that was your action. Your body shudders, primed and ready to go, and you start finding that your libido craves this attention despite all better thoughts. Thankfully your diety does not look down upon sexual misconduct as a breach of your code, but you might want an atonement later anyways. Minotaur's turn.. hope he doesn't roll well.

    You find that you mumble 'more' subconsciously out of your mouth as it's full of his meat, and he is happy to oblige. You are lucky, he rolls a 1 and falls to his rear, dislodging his member from your velvety tight throat. Panting, he swears an oath in Giant-ese, entire body trembling in frustration as his grip falters, giving you control of one of your legs. Snorting and heaving, sweat pours down his monstrous chest, your gaze right at his powerfully clenched abdominals. If he were a human, he might be attractive.. but such illusions are fleeting. You're a paladin mating with a monster, and are pregnant with his seed already.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:14 No.954124
    With a skillful diplomacy check you manage to get him to let you move to a better position in his lap, but his giant hands refuse to release your comparatively tiny, sweat soaked waist.

    That was your free action, what next? I wont count it against you.

    Haha, I like that. Ok, nice roll, you get a bonus too from your successful diplomacy check.

    Softly, you utter 'I want to ride. Can I hold you by the horns?' And the minotaur is taken aback, leaning back with palms to the floor, knees propped up with massive hooves bigger individually than your head grinding against the floor of the stone chamber. His heavy, bestial panting fills the hollow chamber - and your ears. Your heart races with the thought of mounting the tremendous creature.

    (cont in next post)
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:21 No.954142
    epic
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:21 No.954143
    >>954086

    Why cant they? Just start out anonymous gender-wise. And then just allow them to assume whichever, and drop the gender bomb on them at the end of a campaign. Online is much better for this, tabletop you have to have a REALLY straight face, or very kinky friends into gaming (and are cute. for the love of god, make them play their gender or it kills it)
    >>954081

    DnD allows you to have combat and sex, and be goofy. I'll admit I'd perfer using white wolf or Besm, but you dont get as many geeky and cute uses for monsters, spells, and fanbase-ism as DnD. Plus, it always amuses me to put a spin on all the DnD terms, and then wonder what monster would do how much damage to your libido ^_~
    >>954103

    Yes. They were in a dryad's grove entranced by a pod which smelled good to the women. Tentacles came out, fort saves vs poison, and the pollen from the plants made them more amicable to suckling on plant stamens. It last a whole session, and then spilled into the next one. We got derailed. Bigtime. XD
    >>954108

    The idea is being mature, and comfortable with scenes of rape, violence, and extremely graphic sex. Not everyone can handle that. But when you get people together and go at it, it's a lot of fun.. (and then you have sex with your SOs in real life.)
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:22 No.954144
    >>954124
    Kittyboys and Minotaurs are the best furries ever.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:22 No.954145
    Is it bad that this is kinda making me damned horny?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:25 No.954149
    >>954143

    Ah. So you do it online. That makes much more sense.

    So. . .what? Do you tell them to put of fapping until after the story so they get more into it or what?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:25 No.954150
    >>954143
    You mean like you and your partner would be going at it in game. You have an intermission in the game and ask if you can use your buddies bedroom and go at it like rabbits in heat?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:25 No.954151
    >>954145
    Don't resist, it's a good thing
    >> Random Guardsman !4T1uHiOuyE 12/31/07(Mon)02:25 No.954153
    Damn it, Anon, did you have to say 'vaginal juices'?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:26 No.954155
    >>954145
    Rimshot.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:26 No.954156
    Delicious minotaur sex reminds of me Belariath... before people started fagging out over the rules.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:26 No.954158
    >>954151
    Does the fact that I'm male matter? Oh and whoever is writing this and if you dm online I so want to be in the group, even without the sexual stuff you seem a kickass dm.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:27 No.954160
    >>954143
    Hell, do you have logs of these things? It sounds amusing, I'd love to read through them simply for the absurdity of some of the situations that must come up.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:28 No.954166
    I too am interested in an online game.
    I feel so dirty.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:29 No.954169
    If aforementioned Epic-Level Writer/DM has an online group and is taking new players. I humbly request to join.
    or barring that, requesting transcripts of the "fuckweed" scemario
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:30 No.954171
    >>954166
    I don't. At least not yet. Probably because I haven't had an orgasm yet and am still horny. I found some things seemed to be REALLY good ideas until AFTER I got off and looked at them again.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:31 No.954172
    >>954158
    it's all good.
    and second, or like fifth if you keep score.
    >> Boston Tentacle Party 12/31/07(Mon)02:32 No.954178
    >>954171
    Kind of like midget porn. It's great until you get off. But then, the next night, there you are again, fapping to midget chicks getting railed and loving it.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:33 No.954179
    >>954108

    A reasonable couple of players who don't want to force their kinks on everyone? In my /tg/?
    >> Dagda !hTbo821v7U 12/31/07(Mon)02:34 No.954180
         File :1199086451.jpg-(35 KB, 300x420, you can't argue with science.jpg)
    35 KB
    >>954179
    They must be captured and studied. For SCIENCE!
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:34 No.954183
    You descend upon the minotaur's bulging pole, it plunging into your smooth, silky depths a second time; However this time it is willing. A rush of pleasure overcomes you at this exhilarating act, but you manage to keep you cool. Flashing the big beast a fetching smile, your gauntleted hands grip him fiercely by his majestic black horns.

    (player) Your eyelids flutter as you find a moan screaming from your body. You fight to fit him all inside you, to get that satisfying 'fap' which occurs when a male and a female's hips collide in coital union. It is a struggle, and his member bows inside of you as you fight for this nigh-impossible goal, but your conviction allows it over the next few moments.

    Your ace in the hole comes into play. As a ferocious incarnation of your god fills you, you r hips crash down on the minotaur in two violently wrathful strikes, (power attack and smite evil) sending waves of holy positive energy coursing through him, heating your body and drenching it in sweat. Even the tattered strips of armor and clothing left on your body are thought to be stifling, but you couldnt give up now. Unfortunately your second attack fails, and you are left grinding upon him, only managing to frustrate yourself more.

    Your teeth grind at the ugly braying noise your opponent makes, and passion overcomes him. Thrusting upwards, your mount bucks and thrashes, trying to drive his cock straight through you. It is a fight to stay on him, grip locked on his horns. The minotaur's eyes are completely white now, lost in carnal frenzy. When this ended, he might very well be dead, or at very least unconscious, far past -10 without his rage bonus. The minotaur's entire body clenches, preparing for the inevitable orgasm - he was at the point of no return in more ways than one.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:37 No.954189
    >>954178
    I got off to silent hill hentai ish stuff one time. It made me feel dirty as hell after I came. I had to delete the pictures so I could stand myself
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:40 No.954198
    >>954183
    If this ends with the Minotaur converted to good and being a hawt huge dicked fuck-buddy, then woohoo!
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:41 No.954201
    >>954189
    when I was but a wee scamp in the wild west days of the internet, I fapped to Booty Call.

    Everyone who knows what that is probably bears the same shame, and is disgusted by it.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:42 No.954204
    Lol this is soooo much better than the overly common "you do the hot chick, her tits are huge, it was good."
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:44 No.954205
    >>954149
    Online some just masturbate I figure, usually they slow down typing when doing that XD

    >>954150
    Occasionally we have intermissions.. And if I was in someone else's game like mine, and had my SO with me, If I needed to I would ask.

    >>954156
    My players in the current game I'm in will have to run into a particular ruler of an Abyssal Layer. Baphomet anyone?

    >>954158
    Thankyou for the compliment. I usually run epic, non-smut games with 'cutscenes' in them of sorts, with sexual tension in them. If I wasnt so busy I'd actually run more games. But you know, life kinda sucks like that with needing to work and spend time with the girlfriend. (which is interesting getting oral while running the game online. I dont have to use my hands for other things.)

    >>954160

    I do have logs, but my players might be upset if I showed them to teh intarwebs. I can type off the top of my head as much as I like though :3
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:45 No.954208
    I think I have a few pictures that would fit this story pretty well.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:45 No.954213
    >>954208
    Five gets you ten I went and pulled up the same ones.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:46 No.954215
    Clearly this is fantasy erotica of caliber and taste
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:46 No.954216
    >>954189
    I rp'ed the female end of a sexing once in a session.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:47 No.954219
    >>954179
    It gets fun when another player turns out to have similar kinks.
    Half-Orc/Elf threeways woot.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:49 No.954220
    4chanarchive.org
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:51 No.954225
    >>954213
    Did they have sort of a mino orgy going on with a couple of girls and apparently they(the girls) had a bit of, why waste these huge dicks killing them all idea, or just said "okay screw our brains out and if you get off enough maybe we won't kill the rest of you"

    the other has one chick three bigass guys who could be minos(it shows no heads) nearly buckets of semen on her and she wearing a weird cleric weeding dress deal(well the few parts she is still wearing)?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:51 No.954228
    >>954208
    A friend of mine commented that there are ragnarok online fanarts which this reminds her of. I happen to really like those pictures.

    >>954189
    There are a lot of people who like that. Don't feel bad. People have crazy pyramid head fetishes. Then there's the nurses which are everywhere. Then again, undead chicks have a certain 'ice wrapped in thick velvet' kind of feel, lacking a gag reflex(they'll swallow it all. without flinching), and having that 'ice cream blowjob' kind of attraction.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:52 No.954230
    >>954225
    Nah, I went for this. I know the ones you mean, though.
    http://www.aerisdies.com/cats/cat2786p1.html
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:53 No.954231
    Y'know...I could run totally epic campaigns like this (I'm a professional writer, fer Christ's sake), but I can never find the motivation to actually write out a whole D&D campaign. It sucks. -.-
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:54 No.954236
    >>954228
    It totally made me feel dirty though, maybe because one is a rape that clearly isn't wanted and the one with heather that had the whole "throw money at the chick you just raped and act like it's okay" deal to it.

    I think I heard that it was RO. The ones I am thinking of and looking at.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:54 No.954237
    >>954230
    Y'know, that's the first thing I though of too when I saw this
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:55 No.954239
    >>954230
    funny, I have that in color.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:55 No.954240
    >>954205

    So you just don't say anything about it? No house rules or anything?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)02:56 No.954243
    >>954239
    Ah THAT one! I have that one too as said also in color
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:01 No.954259
    >>954230
    I want this in color. And in english. I cant read moonspeak (reward is I continue writing XD)

    >>954231
    Don't write the whole thing out. Wing it. Make a skeleton for your plot and just go, keeping your general purpose in mind.

    >>954240
    It's kinda like fight club haha. But really, we're just cautious not to offend because people can get super anal about smut on public servers. So we get a private room and password it, and have a limited access usergroup for the logs and such. There's a good chunk of house rules yeah, and I'm still developing 'sexual combat' so to speak.. I usually adapt the rules already there in DnD and do my best.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:03 No.954263
    >>954259
    The color version is there, but I don't think there's an English version.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:04 No.954265
    >>954259
    there isn't an english version! please keep writing!
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:05 No.954268
    >>954259

    Thanks for the advice and...y'know, I've tried that, but I seem to lose interest. I'm always willing to try again, though. ...At the moment, I'm considering waiting until 4E fully releases to run a new game, though. I know I'm gonna wanna run it when it comes out, and I'd rather start a campaign in it than switch a campaign to it mid-stream.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:09 No.954272
    >>954265
    Odd, I've seen a few translated pages and everything. It's frustrating I havent found it yet because I am a big fan of dialogue.. call me a bit of a sensualist but I -am- writing wordy, smutty exploits here :D Sure I'll keep writing. Dont want to disappoint.

    >>954268
    Dont get me wrong, running that game is EXTREMELY CHALLENGING. You have to know everyone's kinks or have an idea (best idea? ask discreetly) and you also have to know what completely squicks or turns them off. It's HARD to do, -trust me-. And no matter what anyone says .. you MUST have plot, or it will turn into 'what monster will rape us this week?' and it will get dull. There are only so many 'rape' scenes a party can take before they lose interest and seek variety.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:11 No.954274
    >>954272
    I get you on the dialogue. It can make or break a good doujin. Thanks for continuing.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:13 No.954276
    >>954272

    My god, please start making Doujins or at least filling out the D&D area of adultfanfiction
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:15 No.954280
    The public demands recounting of awkward plant-sex!
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:15 No.954282
    If you feel like sharing some of your custom house rules, that would be pretty great too.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:17 No.954284
    >>954259
    http://rapidshare.com/files/80249581/_C70___bang_you__piropon_DL.rar.html

    Now BACK TO WORK
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:17 No.954285
    >>954272
    It' also funny that I wanted to play a paladin that was a bit like me(save the less good looking and pessamstic parts) which would include being a bit of a smartass and a slight lecher(Okay I don't DO anything but I do make comments and I am looking alot)

    because everyone seems to stereotypic a paladin into a stuck up douchebag.

    You cans till be good and try to follow laws for the good of all and get a few drinks with what is left of of the loot that you don't decide to give back(you did earn some of it after all).

    and as a paladin you probably have a decent char score, so why not have some fun with a barmaid? It's not like you are forcing her. But if something happens you put down your drink and your wench and go smite some evil and such.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:22 No.954298
    As you recoil from the relentless pounding from below, you nearly blackout and lose consciousness. Muttering a soft oath you manage to regain a little more stamina (battle inspiration feat to swift cast) and pour your heart and soul out through the repeated mini orgasms quaking through your entire body. You are unable to restrain your moans of elation, and if you were of any less conviction your eyes would roll and your tongue would loll out, lost to a slave of pleasure and desire. Your hips ripple in motion, another wave of positive energy coursing down your body into your foe, vulgar exclamations of your pleasure mortifyingly escaping your lips. Closing your eyes and muttering 'yes' 'fuck' and 'god' like a mantra, you force the beast closer to orgasm.

    Visciously the minotaur continues to fight you for another round, ebbing away at your consciousness and sanity. He jettisons a couple scant ounces of fluid into your body, fooling you into thinking he has climaxed -- but it was only pre. Unfortunately your body locks up in response, clenching around him into a fantastic grand-maul seizure-esque orgasm. Your howls through the chamber are all but deafening. Your lungs burn, and your golden tresses thrash around haphazardly as your frantic motions continue in motion as an instrument would play a staccato.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:22 No.954299
    Through some stroke of sheer luck, will, or a combination of both, you manage to twist in just the right way, even with the massive penalty during your orgasm to finish him off. The minotaur froths at the mouth, jerking his hips in one hip dislocating thrust, unloading a hellish amount of ejaculatory fluid straight into your womb. The hot, sticky feeling is welcome, soothing the sore aches from the beating his member did to your internal organs.

    Still, you clench him like a vice, as if you were a dog's bitch and he had knotted you. Whilst he cums, you have a feeling he'll be stuck inside your uncomfortably tight womb for some time..it's as if your body did not want to let him go, beast or no.

    The minotaur collapses unconscious, with you left drizzling cum between your thighs, panting against his brown, sweat soaked chest. His mammoth muscles twitch, body limp and defeated. You are left panting for several minutes in afterglow, until his penis inevitable schllk's out of your body, and a wave of the stopped cum floods out in a lewd, squelching fashion. This provides you with another miniature orgasm, mewling like a little cat in heat atop the larger creature.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:26 No.954307
    >>954205

    >>Online some just masturbate I figure, usually they slow down typing when doing that XD

    Both Genders? Or is it mostly the guys, or what?

    And have any of them admitted to fapping?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:27 No.954311
    Thank you for a hell of an...interesting...story, whoever you are.
    tl;dr, I came.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:29 No.954313
         File :1199089788.jpg-(7 KB, 250x237, slaanesh-mirror.jpg)
    7 KB
    i got here as fast as i could and... OH YES!
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:29 No.954314
    >>954274
    It's true. I get all drippy when some dirty words are said, or a girl admits how it feels.

    >>954276
    That was at least 6 hours of group RP that will be difficult to recount, especially since 4chan will be unavailable in 20 minutes for two hours. :3

    >>954284

    When my art improves some, and I actually practice more. I'll make dojin eventually... I -can- draw I'm just -lazy- at doing it, or lacking the time.

    >>954280
    *squeals* Yes master!

    >>954285
    Paladins are human too. They're also very apt to being dicks. And they have personality. Also, even tho it's fightan magick, the Crusader class is a nice Paladin alternative that is fun and inventive to play..and you have more alignment options easily available.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:30 No.954316
    Bed now. For the love of god let this thread still be here, or archived.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:34 No.954321
    >>954307
    Both genders.
    Yes. Admittance to fapping does occur. <3 I like it when they tell the Dungeon Master they feel good. (har) Oh DnD, you are so BDSM. Giggle.

    >>954311
    Good boy. Now kiss you're queen's feet. And the name is Malcanthet. :3

    By the way. Blue girls are hot - I saw another thread on here of them. When my party meets the 'ol queen of the succubi in her demonic visage, she'll look a lot like Astaroth from that card game (who is supposed to be a demon goddess anyways.. I <3 blue. fav color. Those eyes are nice too. Go and rule 34 her. Sansho Baiko or something is the card game's name.)
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:36 No.954330
    >>954321
    Not sure about everyone else in the topic, but I sure am spent. Course half of it is probably from the sedative I took an hour or so ago. But add that with an orgasm and you have some tired weakness going on.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:38 No.954332
    >>954330
    yup. pleasently exhausted here too.

    damn, that was hot.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:38 No.954334
    >>954314 Paladins are human too.
    Except when they're elves. Or whatever.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:41 No.954337
         File :1199090482.jpg-(70 KB, 596x292, surprise mouth sex.jpg)
    70 KB
    Awesome thread is awesome.
    Pic is lol.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:43 No.954339
    Eventually you are able to stand, albeit wobbly. Your condition is considered fatigued until you get a night's rest. A blush rushes to your cheeks as you can still feel the monster's seed oozing down your legs, even more mortifying to know how often you had gotten off because of it. .. and that your juices were mingled with it.

    Internally you realize that if you are pregnant.. you cannot kill the child, even if it is a monstrous bastard. The church would never forgive you, nor would your code. A feminine shudder of affection passes over your face as you look to the unconscious monster on the ground, but that is fleeting as you understand them to be just fleeting emotions. Anger burns at your cheeks in realization that it couldnt ever be a real father, since it had killed and raped adventurers in the past in it's labyrinth. You still cannot bring yourself to kill him however.. and after gathering your things, you risk your way out of the maze.. he should be unconscious for awhile longer, especially with that head wound you gave him to keep him out.

    You can tell his axe is magical, as is the belt he was wearing. Quite the stash of coin as well. With luck, you'll get to wash before encountering the rest of the party, having rashly rushed ahead without them when they had balked at the challenge without preparation.

    Funtime end

    -------------
    And this is how you explain to your DM why your minotaur/half minotaur PC is OK. XD
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:47 No.954346
    >>954334
    The term human is relative. Not meant to be context sensitive. Of course, I could have just said 'mortal'.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:47 No.954347
    >>954339
    Not as happy an end as I'd hoped for... but still, yay.

    So few loving relationships in sexy D&D games, I've found... :(
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:48 No.954349
    >>954346
    joking with you ;)
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:49 No.954353
    >>954339
    Normally I find narrative erotica to be horrendously boring but gods be damned if I didn't stay rock hard at every sentence. You should really post some of this online and spread your gift for exceptional writing.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:50 No.954354
    >>954347
    It's not the end of the story, as the party encounters the minotaur later when they re-enter the maze, and the paladin ends up having to stop them from killing him, and then akwardly explain why.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:52 No.954355
    I can understand not wanting to turn these logs you have into copypasta but fuck would I appreciate it if you would wikichan this stuff written out like the minotaur one.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:52 No.954356
    DEAR CHRIST MOAR1
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:53 No.954358
    >>954339

    Total win for half-minotaur backstory! XD
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:54 No.954360
    >>954349
    *tired, hormonal, and has to pee*

    >>954353
    Thanks again for the praise. Feel free to archive this, if I didn't like the attention (or didn't get it XD) I woulda stopped. Maybe we can start a type of 'stat this' meme and put it into 'scenario this' if people wanna try writing and being creative. I could be convinced to do more on other days.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:58 No.954366
    >>954356
    Later when I get sleep. I hope this doesnt vanish because I dont know how to save it, or someone links it to wikichan (never been there? I dont visit 4chan much)
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)03:59 No.954368
         File :1199091592.jpg-(36 KB, 600x383, 600px-RAPE_SPIDER.jpg)
    36 KB
    >>954360

    scenario this?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)04:00 No.954370
    Someone will wikichan it, don't worry.

    It was great ^_^
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)04:01 No.954373
    >>954366

    if all you want is to keep the story to read later the easiest method is go

    File > Save Page As

    and it will keep the page in it's current state, given that the story is over it's probably sufficient.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)04:01 No.954374
    >>954360

    Does it ever feel weird that you're making people fap?
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)04:02 No.954379
    >>954368
    Looks like the name gets it across pretty well...
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)04:03 No.954380
    Thread has been nominated for archival. Will be posted after the thread dies.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)04:11 No.954398
    >>954368
    Girls and bugs? Haha funtimes. It's better when the rape spider is female though.

    >>954374

    No. I'm something of an exhibitionist. I also enjoy that kind of control. :3 What? Im honest.

    >>954380
    WOOT!
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)09:56 No.954735
         File :1199112984.jpg-(79 KB, 500x500, 1193662482670.jpg)
    79 KB
    >>954398

    Best thread in a long while. I salute you! Now If only i could find a game group where this kind of stuff happend, i would be a happy man
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)10:46 No.954848
    >>954735

    I agree, I too wish for a Group/DM who could do this sort of thing without bursting into laughter.
    But sadly those are a rarity
    >> Major Damage 12/31/07(Mon)11:42 No.954963
    You rolled a 20 and scored double damage, unfortunately one hit would have done the job so you overkilled them. The extra damage is passed through the target to your fellow party member on the other side. Now they're dead as well.
    >> Malcanthet 12/31/07(Mon)13:31 No.955274
    Yay the thread is still here! Did someone archive all that writing yet? :3
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)13:42 No.955333
    >>955274
    I'm not sure, but it's been nominated.
    >> Anonymous 12/31/07(Mon)15:23 No.955677
    "You have criticaly hidden. You are so well hidden that you, yourself do not know where you are. Now you are stuck within the realm of stealth forever."


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