>>873590
Price breakdown for reference:

Bedrooms, fancy = 4,000 gold pieces
Bath, fancy = 2,000 gold pieces
Obdurium exterior and interior walls ×2 spaces = 120,000 gold pieces
Magically treated walls ×2 spaces = 24,000 gold pieces
Transparent walls ×2 spaces = 6,000 gold pieces
Incredible locomotion ×2 spaces = 50,000 gold pieces
Plane shift 1/day ×2 spaces = 50,000 gold pieces
-----
SUB-TOTAL = 256,000 gold pieces
Weekly success on a DC 18 Perform check with a lyre of building = -30% total price
-----
TOTAL = 179,200 gold pieces

At-will lyre of building = 65,000 gold pieces
Lesser orb of acid/electricity/fire/sound at caster level 1st spell turret = 1,000 gold pieces OR 500 gold pieces and 40 experience points

And how much damage would it do in a round of full shooting?

>>873594
What is the total cost for this, and how many guns can it bring to bear against one target?

Also, if we have a million to spend, make it somewhat larger and stuff in even more spell turrets.

MONOLITH

>>873600
I agree with anon, you just brought a Monolith into D&D...

>>873594

>Bath, fancy
>transparent walls

I don't know about you, but I don't feel comfortable taking a bath or defecating while everyone's watching.

>>873596

2400 Orb of Acid/Electricity/Fire/Sound turrets. Let's see...

Round 1: 2400d8 acid, no save, no spell resistance
Round 2: 2400d8 electricity, no save, no spell resistance
Round 3: 2400d8 fire, no save, no spell resistance
Round 4: 2400d6 sonic, no save, no spell resistance
Round 5: Rest
Repeat

The problem is, each turret only has a range of 25 feet. You'll be running into range problems, but then again you're goddamn invincible and moving at 14.67 feet per second.

The problem with this is that anyone can just teleport in and wreck your shit up.

>>873610

But can it fire each side at the same time at the same target? Wouldn't it be kinda, you know, too blocky for that?

Hmm, what about supplies? Suppose those could just be conjured with MAGIC or something.

>>873620

Decanters of Endless Water and some shit that makes food.

Alright, aside from the "lol teleport" dilemma, I've found another major problem with this plan:

www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#lyreofBuilding
>If the proper chords are struck, a single use of this lyre negates any attacks made against all inanimate construction (walls, roof, floor, and so on) within 300 feet.

Note that this includes things that you might want to destroy. To solve this problem, I recommend that the spell turrets instead employ orbs of force with Enlarge Spell on them. This gives them a spell level of 5, a caster level of 9, and a range of 390 feet. However, they will cost you 22,500 gp and 1,800 xp EACH. If you buy them at market price instead, that's going to be 45,000 gp each.

>>873623
Murlynd's Sustaining Spoon is a wondrous item that provides shitty food for 4 people a day.

You could cast dimensional anchor so no one could teleport in.

>>873625

>>873614
NOT IF IT'S SPINNING AT 100 RPM

But what if ANOTHER Orb like it collides/planeshifts into the first Orb?!
LIKE DIAMONDS

I suggest we pick up a tornado's eye for our cube. The "stronghold wind" wondrous items can be found in the wondrous architecture section of th Stronghold Builder's Guidebook, and are conveniently updated to 3.5 in the Draconomicon. Unfortunately, the tornado's eye doesn't have a listed radius. However, a similar item, the orb of pleasant breezes, covers a two-mile radius. As such, we'll assume that a tornado's eye provides tornado-force winds in a two-mile radius, with an 80-foot-diameter cylinder protecting the stronghold.

So what does a tornado do?

www.d20srd.org/srd/weather.htm#tornadoWind
>Tornado (CR 10)
>All flames are extinguished. All ranged attacks are impossible (even with siege weapons), as are Listen checks. Instead of being blown away (see Table: Wind Effects), characters in close proximity to a tornado who fail their Fortitude saves are sucked toward the tornado. Those who come in contact with the actual funnel cloud are picked up and whirled around for 1d10 rounds, taking 6d6 points of damage per round, before being violently expelled (falling damage may apply). While a tornado’s rotational speed can be as great as 300 mph, the funnel itself moves forward at an average of 30 mph (roughly 250 feet per round). A tornado uproots trees, destroys buildings, and causes other similar forms of major destruction.

Okay, so now our cube is a lethal engine of destruction that can destroy cities by simpling roving nearby.

>>875396

Actually now, it seems that the wind orbs are based off the Control Winds spell. Think about it. Control Winds gives you a cylinder with a radius of 40 feet per level and a height of 40 feet, with an optional "eye of the storm" as an 80-foot diameter cylinder in the center. It takes 3 caster levels for each increased wind strength level, so it takes CL 12th to get from light winds to a windstorm, CL 15th to get from light winds to a hurricane, and CL 18th to get from light winds to a tornado.

The windstorm's eye has CL 12th, the hurricane's eye has CL 15th, and the tornado's eye has CL 18th. This can't be a coincidence. As such, the windstorm's eye creates 51-74 mph winds in a 480-foot radius cylinder, the hurricane's eye creates 75-174 mph winds in a 600-foot radius cylinder, and the tornado's eye creates 175-300 mph winds in a 720-foot radius cylinder. All of these cylinders are only 40 feet tall, and include an 80-foot radius cylinder at the center where the wind remains unaffected.

A tornado's eye still makes for a devastating addition to this plan though.

>>873611
>>873625
I'm sure there are rules for creating anti-teleport wards

WE MUST GET A DRAWFAG TO CREATE AN INTERPRETATION OF THIS

>>875502
It already exists in the form of the neutronium golem.

>>875487
Alternatively, you can put more spell turrets inside and have the guy playing the lute hide in a box

What happened to the Terrors?
And wasn't there something about doing some odd Psionic Mind Jar to actually become the fortress?

>>875561
Constructs are not considered inanimate constructs, and thus aren't protected by the lyre. Fuck that, we're spending our gold on long-term stuff, we want to protect our investment.

By the way, I think there's an anti-teleport wondrous architecture called Seals of Forbiddance in the web enhancement for the SBG. It allows a DC 19 Will save each time someone tries to extradimensionally travel or teleport in, but if you fail it even once, you cannot teleport in FOREVER.

Is there a way for the guys inside to communicate with the hapless villagers in a deep, booming voice?
There should be a way for the guys inside to communicate with the hapless villagers in a deep, booming voice!

>>875599
Also, how does all of this tally up? If it's inaccessible until a ridiculously high level it becomes a little less cool (this is a lie, by the way.)

>>875604

>The Landlord feat from the Stronghold Builder's Guidebook gives us an allowance to build our stronghold. Four 9th-level characters that all took Landlord can pool together for an allowance of 100,000 gp, four 12th-levels have 400,000 gp, four 15th-levels have 1,000,000 gp, and four 20th-levels have 3,200,000 gp.

You're only going to need maybe six Orb of Force cannons at most.

thats nice and all, but how the fuck does one get into your invincible cube of death? or out for that matter?

also, where the fuck is your air supply? Acting as your DM, if you say "open a portal to the elemental plane of air," which one anon has already screwed himself over with by making it inaccessible by spell and planeswalking, I'm gonna have you have random encounters every 20 minutes.

>>875626
By the time the party can afford such a contraption, one of them oughta be able to cast teleport. Or something.

>>875637
Teleport into a Monolith that's protected against teleportation?

>>875637
yeah, but a couple anon's are hell bent on making it impenetrable by magic. which it desperately needs as any mage with skill could send in a piece of paper with explosive runes into it and watch it blow up.

but if you do make it impenetrable via magic, you cut off all means of entry/escape.

>>875626
>or out for that matter?

Out? Why would you ever want to leave?

Also, I think you should carve your flying cube into a flying head. You know. For aesthetic purposes. Picture very, very related. To go with the booming voice mentioned above.

>>875626

Through a door. Sacrifice one 5x5 spot for a door.

>>875634
Airtight + Chamber of Comfort only costs 15k for each space, so 30k for two spaces. Your cube is completely airtight, but you get a magical supply of fresh air at a cozy 70 degrees Fahrenheit.

>>875645
>>875646
As the owner, you can activate and deactivate your architecture. Deactivate Seals of Forbiddance, teleport in, reactivate Seals of Forbiddance. DONE.

and how are you going to see where you are going? gonna station someone at the tiny 5x5 door to be your lookout?

>>875663

Yep, with a peephole and everything. Maybe a periscope.

>>875663
>>875667
It's transparent from the inside. And with a Veil of Obscurity wondrous architecture, you can make it look like anything from the outside.

>>875671

The SHB and Savage Species are DM books. Stay away!

Furthermore, the magic item creation rules in the DMG are suggestions; any DM which allowed a 65k at-will lyre of building is a serious newfag.

>>875708
Fuck off, I read the Monster manuals, DM Handbooks, and the SHB guide every night before I game.
I'm playing to WIN bitches!!

Fuckin love it. And with Plane Shift you could just park it in a demiplane you whipped up via Genesis.

Alright, invincible box, take two (DELUXE edition):

Bedrooms, fancy = 4,000 gp
Bath, fancy = 2,000 gp
Obdurium exterior and interior walls ×2 spaces = 120,000 gp
Weekly success on a DC 18 Perform check with a lyre of building = -30% construction price
-----
MUNDANE CONSTRUCTION TOTAL = 88,200 gp

Airtight walls ×2 spaces = 15,000 gp
Magically treated walls ×2 spaces = 24,000 gp
Ethereal solid walls ×2 spaces = 24,000 gp
Transparent walls ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
Incredible locomotion ×2 spaces = 50,000 gp
Burrowing mobility ×2 spaces = 20,000 gp
Crawling mobility ×2 spaces = 2,000 gp
Flying mobility ×2 spaces = 30,000 gp
Sailing mobility ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
Submersing mobility ×2 spaces = 7,500 gp
Plane shift 1/day ×2 spaces = 50,000 gp
Chamber of comfort ×2 spaces = 15,000 gp
Chamber of seeing ×2 spaces = 15,000 gp
Forbidding sigils ×2 spaces = 24,400 gp
Hall of hope ×2 spaces = 21,000 gp
Hall of speech ×2 spaces = 8,000 gp
Hole of hiding ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
Map of tactics, greater = 36,000 gp
Room of reading ×2 spaces = 1,500 gp
Secure chamber ×2 spaces = 120,000 gp
Table of feasting = 43,200 gp
Tornado's eye = 90,000 gp
Veil of obscurity = 25,000 gp
Wondrous whisperer ×10 walls = 30,000 gp
-----
MAGICAL CONSTRUCTION COST TOTAL = 669,600 gp


At-will lyre of building = 65,000 gp (13,000 gp × 5)
Enlarged orb of force at caster level 10th spell turret (construction cost) = 25,000 gp and 2,000 xp
Enlarged orb of force at caster level 10th spell turret (construction cost) = 50,000 gp

How much would carving a giant evil face on one side cost? I mean, it'd lose the borg feel, but the best evil villain would be the one who has his own face carved on his cube of death.

>>875723

You can read whatever you want; but I never put the MMs, the DMGs, SS or the SHB on the list of accepted books for my campaigns... those books contain almost nothing that is ready to be used "out of the box".

>>875796

I'd think it should be easy at cube creation so long as you either can sculpt it yourself, or pay a few NPC Experts to whip something up for you

>>875757

Brief rundown of each of the magical components:

• Airtight walls means no liquid or gas can enter the cube, unless you open it up.
• Magically treated obdurium walls have hardness 60, 360 hit points, break DC 80, and climb DC 25.
• Ethereal solid walls make it so that nobody can sneak inside through the Ethereal Plane.
• Transparent walls mean that you can see outside your cube, but people can see inside too (more on that later).
• Burrowing, crawling, flying, sailing, submersing mobility at incredible locomotion means you have all forms of movement available at 10 miles per hour (14.67 feet per second or 88 feet per round).
• Plane shift lets you transport the cube to another plane once per day, albeit appearing 5d% miles from the intended destination.
• Chamber of comfort gives you an infinite supply of fresh air at a cozy 70 degrees Fahreinheit.
• Chamber of seeing negates all invisibility within the cube.
• Forbidding sigils forces a DC 19 Will save against anyone that tries to extradimensionally enter or teleport into the cube. Failure (even once) means they can never teleport in for eternity.
• Hall of hope gives everyone inside the cube a +2 morale bonus on saving throws, attack rolls, skill checks, and weapon damage rolls.
• Hall of speech makes everyone inside understand any language, even from outside the cube.
• Hole of hiding makes the ceiling (of both rooms) act like a rope trick spell.
• Greater map of tactics gives you a map of everything one mile within the cube, and lets you track the status of up to six subjects for 18 hours per day each.

>>875823

• Room of reading gives everyone inside a permanent read magic spell.
• Secure chamber gives the entire cube a mind blank spell, so no divination spells work on it and nobody's minds can be influenced.
• Table of feasting gives a heroes' feast spell thrice per day.
• Tornado's eye gives you tornado-force winds in a 720-foot radius, 40-foot high cylinder with an 80-foot radius safe zone in the center.
• Veil of obscurity gives you a permanent mirage arcana spell for the cube, meaning you can make it look like WHATEVER YOU WANT from the outside.
• Wondrous whisperer gives each wall a whispering wind spell, meaning they're all speakerphones with a 1-mile range.

>>875796

>• Veil of obscurity gives you a permanent mirage arcana spell for the cube, meaning you can make it look like WHATEVER YOU WANT from the outside.

>>875827
>Secure chamber gives the entire cube a mind blank spell, so no divination spells work on it and nobody's minds can be influenced.
Perfect for the off chance you ever let a girl inside.

It's still vulnerable to DM.

Too long didn't read.

IT AIN'T ORKY ENUFF

>>875866

Why are you so ADD, Anon?

It's a fucking flying cubic jar of doom.

>>875879

Add some gubbins with mirage arcana?

>>875861

But still...

>>875888

Oh, I'm fappin' too... but you have to keep things in perspective. Real story telling penetrates the impenetrable.

how much does it cost to make the inside look like this?

>>875896
any chance to get laid or have a relationship with a woman, EVER.

obv has to look like a beholder from the outside

>>875900
how can I pay that cost if I never had it in the first place?

>>875900
Shit, I don't have one of those. Guess I'll never be able to have the Ultimate Weeaboo HQ.

Concept Art.

>>875896
That place looks extremely clean.

So you guys just made a TARDIS with weapons?

>>875823

"• Transparent walls mean that you can see outside your cube, but people can see inside too (more on that later)."

So...anyone gonna cover that one? I'd rather not have people watch me taking a shit.

>>875962

See:
>>875827
>• Veil of obscurity gives you a permanent mirage arcana spell for the cube, meaning you can make it look like WHATEVER YOU WANT from the outside.

>>875973

That doesn't really prevent being the whatever you choose from being transparent, though...

>>875975
>>875962
things like curtains do exist you know

>>875975

Means you can see outside your CUBE... you can still copy and paste a beholder and be all "Bitches, I can see outside of my awesome image, but you can't see through my CROWN OF EYES, BWAHAHA!"

>>875989
Or just an empty patch of sky or a raincloud.

I prefer the latter, so you can follow one random peasant around with a decanter of endless water, raining on him wherever he goes.

>>875995

Honestly, I would say fuck the ten billion cannons and permanent tornado and all that except for a few things neccisary for defense. I would think the purpose of the cube is just that - have your floating impenetrable fortress that you use to fuck with people.

I never understood why high level wizards are evil when they could just be dicks. Imagine a group of four or five elderly wizards who, once a week, meet up, then run around, polymorphing people into cows and then tipping them over.

>>876015
If I was a wizard I would use my magic to be the world's most annoying peeping tom

>>876086
As long as you also used your magic to speak in an outrageous quasi-Mexican accent like Brak's dad, that'd be a fantastic idea.

I see the Hikikomori Cube as more of a "Holy shit, I've pissed off a Lord of Hell by seducing his hot demon-nymph daughter and turning her to be my Lawful Good sex-slave...I need a place to hide from the inevitible shitstorm of Balores coming my way..." kind of hide-out.

A good military HQ for a small, elite force, or a place to hide when the plans of the PC's go to fuck.

>>876127

I see the Weeaboo Cube as more of a way to min/max game mechanics into a ridiculous and untenable advantage. If I ever met a DM who'd allow this, I'd kick them right in the jaw; hopefully while they're sucking one of their munchkin faggot players off, so I can kill two birds with one steel-toed boot.

>>876134
INTERNET TOUGH NERD GUY.

>>876138
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

fixed

Thoughts.

1 - Borg Cube title let me down, I was hoping for adaptation, so that on the off chance someone manages to land a shot that does damage, the cube (and all its inhabitants) will gain resistance to that type of damage. Y'know, because it's not powerful enough as it is.

2 - Someone mentioned the Tardis? Can we also make this thing tessariffic, so that it's only a 1 meter cube on the outside? Not looks like it's only 1 meter, actually is. That way, if someone manages to try and take a shot, you're a lot smaller target.

3 - DISGUISE IT AS THE WEIGHTED COMPANION CUBE! Fuck, I'm shocked no one's mentioned it yet.

>>876134

I see you as one of those DM's that constantly bullshits some kind of reason to hound the PC's when they've covered their tracks and gotten away scott free.

Haven't you learned ANYTHING from 1980's television? If your heroes have an invincible killing box that they abuse the power of (ie, planes shift into a city and just start rampaging, whatever) instead of using as a hiding and regrouping location, then you just have the evil fuckers chasing them down see what they've built...and think "Wow...what a great idea...I bet I could make one better!"

If the players misuse ANY item, tactic, or spell...simply make them regret it by having the bad-guys do it too...and do it better.

Rewarding players for an ingenious idea, however, is hardly min-max weeboing.

>>876147

Calling it the hikikomori is what makes it weeaboo.

Four level 10 characters with a feat *buying* an artifact quality item is what makes it bullshit.

And no, I'm not the kind of DM that makes up bullshit to railroad my players, because I never let them buy artifacts out of the fucking magical Wal-Marts that the rest of you all seem to shop at.

Did someone say Anti-Magic Field?

>>876134
>>876155
Well, first off, it's well beyond the budget of a party of 10th level character. The amount of money we're spending on this thing looks to be in the high hundred-thousands/low millions, which according to OP falls within the 15th to 20th level range. The lyre alone (which is critical) is 65,000 gold pieces.
Second off, it may be min/maxing. But it's awesome. No one's going to try this in a SRS ROEL PLAYING GAEM, but in a "LET'S MAKE A MOCKERY OF THE ADVENTURING PROFESSION!!!" kind of game, this thing is pure gold. We aren't talking just crunching numbers here, we're talking about an inventive and hilarious bending of an over-grown system. This isn't even maxing out damage so much as "HOLY SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE WE CAN DO THIS!"
Third, while in your own campaigns you have every right to bitch about twinkery how un-serious or unrealistic something is, but when you start lobbing your judgment into other peoples' affairs you come off as a purist prick. Now I will not make any undue judgments of your character, dear Anonymous poster, but I can say that in this particular instance you have not carried yourself with humility and you have, at least in part, expressed condescension (those weaboo barbarians at the gates, and so on.) I am willing to believe that you've either misjudged the situation or overreacted, and while I understand that forgiveness means very little on an anonymous messageboard, I am willing to forgive this breach of polite and constructive conversation.

>>876212
And I believe that everyone else on this thread can do the same.

So, whats the grand total gp value of all of this stuff together?

>>876183
yeah, what if someone gets an anti-magic field to cover the cube? does it crash?

>>876183
The cube needs dispel turrets.

>>876155
>fucking magical Wal-Marts

I couldn't have worded it better myself. I hate that shit.

>>876223
>>876222
I almost regret this being noted before someone actually had a chance to find out in-game.

>>876183
>>876222
>>876223
Good luck getting that 10-foot-radius AMF to cover the cube, hombres. If it falls down, it's gonna go out of the radius, so it gets flying again.

>>876235
My players are the kind to build a sticky-grenade launcher with Perpetual AMF cast on the grenades.

>>876235
That depends. It might just drop flat and not tumble at all...
Where exactly would the field have to be anyway? At the center point of the base?

>>876235
your kidding right it's just called "a bunch of mages of some type working together" overlapping fields and such

>fucking magical Wal-Marts

Fuck, now I can't unsee the mental image of hundreds of stunted little asian mages churning out colorful wands, plushie golems, lead rings, and all kinds of magical trinkets...

>>876251
That'd be hilarious. Some legendary doom-cube just marching across the city churning out DEATHDEATHDEATHDEATH until finally it just floats into an area, drops, and lies dormant forever while its pilots starve to death.

>>876262
nono, we have the mechanically operated door still.

But, can anyone find a solution to the anti-magic field "zone of death"?

One problem I foresee is that it's so easy for the DM to fuck you over by saying "EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD HAS AT-WILL LYRES OF BUILDING AND IS HOLED UP, SO NO KILLING FOR YOU." Another problem is that tornado-force winds negate all ranged attacks, so our orb of force spell turrets will only be useful in defending the 80-foot radius eye of the storm.

Also, we can always throw in a cloudgathering orb for 33,000 gp so we can upgrade our 720-foot radius tornado to a 720-foot radius tornado in addition to a 2-mile radius thunderstorm in spring, torrential rain in summer, sleet in autumn, or blizzard in winter.

>>876235

It's also very important to note the following:

www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/antimagicField.htm
>Area: 10-ft.-radius emanation, centered on you

www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/spellDescriptions.htm#area
>A burst spell affects whatever it catches in its area, even including creatures that you can’t see. It can’t affect creatures with total cover from its point of origin (in other words, its effects don’t extend around corners). The default shape for a burst effect is a sphere, but some burst spells are specifically described as cone-shaped. A burst’s area defines how far from the point of origin the spell’s effect extends.
>An emanation spell functions like a burst spell, except that the effect continues to radiate from the point of origin for the duration of the spell. Most emanations are cones or spheres.

Thus, it is blocked by total cover. Obdurium walls provide total cover, do they not? The SBG says that you can tie the stronghold's mobility to an item or location WITHIN the stronghold. The AMF might take down some of the outer defenses, but it won't be able to affect whatever's making it fly. The guy playing the lyre of building also happens to be inside with total cover, so the lyre can magically reinforce the cube from inside too.

>>876262
>>876271
Just... FLY OVER IT OR PICK IT OFF FROM AFAR. AMFs can only get to a 10-foot-radius because they can't be Enlarged. Your tornado has a 720-foot-radius and your Orb of Force cannons have a 400-foot-range. Orbs of Force don't get negated by an AMF, by the way.

>>876273
ahh I see. well then I am out of ideas to stop this thing
anyone else got any?

it's the best way to make it more badass look at it like a player trying to storm the damn thing and then shore up any potential weaknesses

>>876296

Targeted dispel against the Forbidding Sigils, then teleport in a crew to kill/rape everyone inside.

Why not fill the cube with a lethal substance and simply buy rings of "immune to that substance" for the party?

Like put a gelatinous cube the size of the cube in the cube and all wear rings of "acid immunity" or something. Anybody ports in they're going to have a nasty suprise. Plus if the cube is the same color as the cube then they won't see it, even through the translucent walls. It'll just look like you guys are floating in zero G's.

>>876296
Have an evil spirit under your control possess the cube.

>>876308
You're going to have to find a way to bypass the combo of Mirage Arcana + Mind Blank (True Seeing gets blocked by MB) to even recognize it as a machine, then you're going to have to somehow dispel it from inside, since the Forbidding Sigils are located inside the stronghold as wondrous architecture.

>>876316

Ok; imagine for a moment that for every $ and xp you spend, your opponents get one.

With the money and wisdom you've spent doing this, I bet you I can afford a Loremaster or bard who is smart enough that they've heard what is in your cube. I also bet I can find the guy who made you your rings-of-invuln-to-jello, and have him make me some; he might even give me a discount 'cause y'all are probably dicks. Then, I can hire a half dozen frenzied berserkers and teleport them into your cube, where they can rape you without pause until they fail sufficient Fortitude checks as to need a breather.

A vengeful gaze of god should do the trick.

>>876327

Hm...Need someway to teleport the cube away without carrying invaders in it. Is there anyone to "mark" the cube and the party as the passengers for some sort of ingrained gate spell or something that will only transport them and leave anything and anyone else? (so they have their important stuff marked, but their trash and stuff gets left behind automatically when they do this emergency port or whatever).

That or just have a stable gateway in the cubehouse to escape through.

>>876320

I would never rely on magic to tell me what is going on inside the cube; I'd use maxed out Bardic Knowledge and Knowledge: Arcana/History (whatever is appropriate). It's *far* easier and cheaper to find a scholar with maxed out Knowledge than it is to find most of the things you're using.

Unless you built the thing by yourselves and in secret, a high enough Knowledge check will tell me everything about it.

>>876328

Do you NOT know what "immune to damage from all sources" means?

>>876333

I'll grant you your "We teleport you don't" spell.

But I've got contingent Time Stop, which actually exists, and is trigger to work the moment I enter your cube. Oh, and in the feat slot y'all spent on Landlord? We all took Improved Initiative, so we're 20% more likely to start any round than you, all other things being even.

>>876334
>Unless you built the thing by yourselves and in secret

It's artificers with artificer cohorts time!

>>876342

Your characters would have spent a lot of xp making this stuff... mine would still have all their xp. I wonder how many more levels my kill team would have than yours?

>>876340
We have the greater map of tactics and can track your position once you get within one mile of the area, and as such can prepare for you. We also have our two permanent rope tricks just in case.

>>876353

Contingent Time Stop, teleporting in from miles and miles away... after I've had a couple of turns inside your cube, you can use your map (if I haven't got around to disint'ing it yet).

>>876359

Let me redact that; the first thing I'd do after I get into your cube would be to cast Disjunction, so that all of your unattended magical effects would stop working... then I'd teleport out of your rapidly crashing forty ton death-trap.

>>876359
>Contingent Time Stop, teleporting in from miles and miles away

How do you plan on doing that without a reliable description of the cube? And how the hell are you casting Contigency Time Stop if Contigency has a maximum spell level of 6th?

>>876369

I couldn't get a reliable description if you made it all by yourself, I guess... since Knowledges wouldn't help.

I'm pretty sure if you made it all by yourself you'd be in the middle teens with a party of all artificers who wasted feats on construction, and I'd have a full party of epic characters designed only to kill you as quickly and completely as possible... we should figure out how much xp you'd spend to make this thing on your own so I know how much I have to work with.

Setting aside the futile dick-waving contest of "I can do this to destroy your cube," and "Nuh-uh, I do this to counter your plan," the best way to go up against it would be to build a replica of it. Anybody can do it as long as they have the necessary resources, most likely from the Landlord feat. Nobody will be able to kill each other though, so it's everybody's just going to be sustaining themselves in their invincible cubes, true hikikomori-style. A cube can sustain four people if you use the fancy bedroom and fancy bathroom, so you can go ahead and bring three of your friends in for the ultimate shut-in lifestyle.

>>876384

That'd work pretty good, but be very boring.

The way I see it, the cube-builders would only be about one level shy of the cube-invaders.

Both parties would have to start at level 19 so the cube-builders could absorb the xp costs (about 29,000 xp) and still be able to cast all the necessary spells.

>>875823
>Greater map of tactics gives you a map of everything one mile within the cube, and lets you track the status of up to six subjects for 18 hours per day each.

You have a frickin' radar in the base? Damn, this is becoming more and more like a magical version of an invincible mecha/spaceship. One that has a bed and bath.

>>876401

It's not radar... it's a topographical map, it doesn't show people on it.

Furthermore, it can't track anyone you want; to be tracked by it you have to physically touch the map and then it tracks your position for 18 hours.

Abjuration
Level: Magic 9, Sor/Wiz 9
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Area: All magical effects and magic items within a 40-ft.-radius burst
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates (object)
Spell Resistance: No

All magical effects and magic items within the radius of the spell, except for those that you carry or touch, are disjoined. That is, spells and spell-like effects are separated into their individual components (ending the effect as a dispel magic spell does), and each permanent magic item must make a successful Will save or be turned into a normal item. An item in a creature’s possession uses its own Will save bonus or its possessor’s Will save bonus, whichever is higher.

You also have a 1% chance per caster level of destroying an antimagic field. If the antimagic field survives the disjunction, no items within it are disjoined.

Even artifacts are subject to disjunction, though there is only a 1% chance per caster level of actually affecting such powerful items. Additionally, if an artifact is destroyed, you must make a DC 25 Will save or permanently lose all spellcasting abilities. (These abilities cannot be recovered by mortal magic, not even miracle or wish.)

Note: Destroying artifacts is a dangerous business, and it is 95% likely to attract the attention of some powerful being who has an interest in or connection with the device.

It needs a warforged butler named "Jeeves".

>>876394

>xp costs (about 29,000 xp)

Are you sure? Let's look at the plan over here >>875757. Assume that you don't make any orb of force spell turrets since they'll be useless because of the strong wind and since the tornado is enough destruction. That adds up to a market price of about 88,200 + 669,600 + 65,000 = 822,800 gp. If you build it yourself, it's going to cost you 411,400 gp and 32,912 xp, and will take 823 days to make. However, if the creator has Exceptional Artisan, Extraordinary Artisan, and Legendary Artisan, it will only take 308,500 gp, 24,684 xp, and 618 days to make.

But let's assume that we have a party of four artificers, splitting the work up. Each artificer needs to expend 77,125 gp and 6,171 xp. Assuming that they split the work evenly and work for 8 hours a day, it's going to take only 155 days to make.

The item with the highest caster level in the cube is the tornado's eye, at caster level 18th. A 16th-level artificer can make that, and the only drawback will be that the tornado covers only a 640-foot radius. Of course, he can upgrade it to a 680-foot radius at 17th-level and a 720-foot radius at 18th-level.

A 16th-level character halfway to his next level has 128,000 xp, so he has 8,000 xp to burn. A 16th-level artificer has 2,000 reserve xp. Each artificer need only use 6,171 xp to make his share.

As you can see, you can quite clearly make the cube by 16th-level. You can make it even earlier if you opt out on the secure chamber and the tornado's eye.

>>876439
I seem to remember a thread about Leadership, and being able to give your minions leadership also, thus creating a never-ending ocean of mans. If these were also builders?

>>876427

>Area: All magical effects and magic items within a 40-ft.-radius burst

Total cover. You'll only be taking down... what, the mirage arcana and the wall upgrades? All we really need is the lyre and the mobility device inside. Well, we might need transparent walls too, but I'm not sure if they get nullified by a disjunction from outside or not.

Also, I've found a way to help against intruders teleporting in: anticipate teleport and greater anticipate teleport from Complete Arcane. The former is 4th-level and delays teleports for 1 round while informing you, the latter is 8th-level and delays teleports for 3 rounds. Both last for 24 hours and stay until discharged by a delayed teleport spell. Still not a total anti-teleport spell, but it gives you some buffer time.

>>876460

I was the one who made that thread... anyway, it won't help as much as you'd think because: (1) you need to burn your feats on Leadership, Improved Cohort, and Close Cohort, (2) an army of builders won't help in meeting caster level prerequisites, and (3) you can only fit 4 people in the cube, so you'll be leaving behind a construction team that can be interrogated.

The great thing about this is, this SOUNDS like something a bored level 15 wizard would do.

Some sit behind kings.
Some BECOME kings.
Most live in towers.

I have my invincible hikikomori cube.

Yeh, from the sound of things, the "Mordenkainen's Disjuction to fuck over the mirage and turrets, + teleport inside, +contingency timestop, + Mordenkainen's Disjuction on the inside, +teleport out" sounds like the only decent plan.

>>876486

That Mordenkainen was a real faggot, now that I think about it.

On another note, fuck teleport. Dimension Door will do just fine.

>>876501
Great epic mage or GREATEST epic mage?

>>876486
Dumb question, but couldn't the party inside the giant death cube have a contingency: time stop that activates when someone successfully manages to teleport in?

>>876486
>contingency timestop

Once again, I inform you that that is impossible, as Contingency only works on spells up to 6th-level. The people inside (let's assume two artificers and two wizards) use Greater Anticipate Teleport so you are delayed for three rounds. The people inside use two rounds to prepare, then use ready actions on the third round (including two Time Stops) and get ready for your arrival.

>>876520
What's the text for Anticipate Teleport? Does it work only with teleport spells, or with any kind of dimensional travel?

>>876520

Hey, couldn't they Greater Anticipate Teleport and then, when the teleport alarm sounds, just move the cube say eighty feet up into the air and have the teleporters appear below them where the cube used to be?

>>876509

Seriously, a mage who seemed to devote his life to fucking over other mages. That's equal parts dickish and awesome.

>>876520
Right, right. I was just saying, assuming it's possible, somehow, as the other guy was stating, that the people in the cube could use it to their advantage as well.

I don't have the source for the Incredible Locomotion thing myself, but what does it do, exactly? As in, how much weight can it hold? Does it have no weight or movement limit, so the craft can technically push its way past anything? Or is it possible to maybe overburden the structure from the outside?

>>876526
Anything with the (teleportation) subtype, apparently. That includes Plane Shift. Don't forget that the walls are Ethereal Solids, so no using Ethereal Jaunt or incorporeality to get in.

sage

>>876541
Ethereal solids... what are the stats on those? Would that be affected by the Disjunction from the outside, as the walls themselves are exposed?

>>876554
Ethereal solids just block entry from the ethereal plane. I think you can disjoin them, since the section for magical walls in the SBG says you can, but I'm not sure if the inner portion will be disjoined if you try to disjoin it from the outside.

It won't make much of a difference since not many people try to get in through etherealness.

>>876578
I don't think that there is an "outside is disjoined but inside is peachy" kind of thing... I mean, otherwise there would be no way to destroy magical walls through dispelling. As in "I cast greater dispel in the middle of the 'wall of ice' maze" "Sorry, since it's a 20-ft radius burst, it can't target the ice behind the first inch or so because it would be out of LoS."

The Stronghold Builder's Guidbook says you can have a bulky piece of furniture (orb, rug, statue, etc.) that continuously generates a spell's effect for only 1,000 gp × spell level × caster level. It only affects a single stronghold space though. You can also activate and deactivate it as you wish.

Now, dimensional lock is an 8th-level spell that blocks ALL teleportation and extradimensional travel. 1,000 × 8 × 15 = 120,000 gp. 240,000 gp since we need it to cover two stronghold spaces. Ouch. But four characters with Landlord have a lot of money to blow on their stronghold costs, so it's all good. Anyway, we have a couple of rugs/ornaments/statues/whatever with permanent dimension locks on them. We deactivate them, teleport them inside along with us, then activate them. We are now teleport-proof. How's that?

>>876609
Just Lost.

New plan of attack… requires a wizard of at least 17th level who is able to cast two 9th level spells in a day (or cast at least one, an have the other prepared on a scroll or something). Approach the structure ethereally. Cast Mordenkainen’s Disjunction from the ethereal plane, targeting the anti-etherealness walls and dispelling them. Next, use a metamagic rod (Complete Arcane) made for the Transdimensional Spell feat (Complete Divine) to cast a second Mordenkainen’s Disjuction as a transdimensional spell from the ethereal plane. No longer barred by the now material-plane walls, the burst should spread and target all objects and subjects on all planes of existence within the cube. Maybe… just an idea. Don’t know in reality how well it would work.

>>876652
If you're a real asshole and can cast a third 9th level spell, do this all within one single Timestop.

Just a thought, but didn't someone design an ultimate haxx arrow of destroys everything in a 10ft radius? Some shit to do with portable holes.

Just wondering, I seem to recall that they didn't actually DAMAGE things, they just un-existed them entirely. So in theory, a volley of those bad boys would destroy the cube.

The only way to fight ridiculous cheating is with even MORE ridiculous cheating.

>>876652
Transdimensional Spell lets you cast spells from the Material Plane that affect other planes/dimensions, not the other way around. Look at the exact wording, it says nothing about casting spells FROM another plane/dimension. Even if it did let you do that, the spell would be fully present on the Material Plane and thus blocked by the obdurium walls.

>>876656
Read the description of the lyre of building again:

>or anything else that might damage or destroy it
>or destroy it

>>876662
If the spell effect is present on the material plane, simply get your ass into the cube now that the walls are down. Or target the inside from the outside, with the burst only affecting things on the inside... if it could work that way.

End in all, if one silver bullet is there to be drawn upon, there is a carefully worded Wish.

>>876674
If you use a carefully-worded Wish that steps out of the boundaries to destroy the cube, then I'm using a carefully-worded Wish to reverse the destruction, which just so happens to fall under the "safe" applications of Wish.

>>876679
Nothing's preventing my party from killing the party (who spent most of their fortunes on building the cube) while they're busy carefully wording a wish spell to bring the cube back in the meanwhile, though.

>>876680
>(who spent most of their fortunes on building the cube)

Lol wut? At level 15, Landlord gives you an allowance of 250k to spend on your stronghold for EACH person. 1 million gp in total if 4 level 15s each take Landlord. Which increases more and more each level.

This is one of the more awesome threads on /tg/ in a while. I can't wait till some crazy shit actually brings this up at one of their games.

>>876685
Whoa. Sweet! What's preventing somebody from taking the money and just using it for something else?

>>876688
It only covers construction costs, wall augmentations, traps, and wondrous architecture. So you'll have to get the 65k at-will lyre of building out of your own pocket money, since it's a wondrous item.

>>876674
With non-standard wishes the DM is actively encouraged to fuck you over.

>>876680
This isn't an ambiguous request, they don't really need to spend time working it out. Its' one of the defined uses of Wish.

>>876688
It isn't directly "cash in hand", it's more like you have through whatever means been granted help or resources enough to build a stronghold of that worth.

You've saved the kingdom and been given direct aid by the king to build whatever you want, could be one reasoning behind the feat.

>>876695
Ah, I see. Well... sounds kind of off, though. I mean, having a million gold magic themselves up out of nowhere (system-wise, not fluff-wise), even for a very specific task.

>>876694
Defined uses of Wish:
* Duplicate any wizard or sorcerer spell of 8th level or lower, provided the spell is not of a school prohibited to you.
* Duplicate any other spell of 6th level or lower, provided the spell is not of a school prohibited to you.
* Duplicate any wizard or sorcerer spell of 7th level or lower even if it’s of a prohibited school.
* Duplicate any other spell of 5th level or lower even if it’s of a prohibited school.
* Undo the harmful effects of many other spells, such as geas/quest or insanity.

>>876703 Cont'd
* Create a nonmagical item of up to 25,000 gp in value.
* Create a magic item, or add to the powers of an existing magic item.
* Grant a creature a +1 inherent bonus to an ability score. Two to five wish spells cast in immediate succession can grant a creature a +2 to +5 inherent bonus to an ability score (two wishes for a +2 inherent bonus, three for a +3 inherent bonus, and so on). Inherent bonuses are instantaneous, so they cannot be dispelled. Note: An inherent bonus may not exceed +5 for a single ability score, and inherent bonuses to a particular ability score do not stack, so only the best one applies.
* Remove injuries and afflictions. A single wish can aid one creature per caster level, and all subjects are cured of the same kind of affliction. For example, you could heal all the damage you and your companions have taken, or remove all poison effects from everyone in the party, but not do both with the same wish. A wish can never restore the experience point loss from casting a spell or the level or Constitution loss from being raised from the dead.
* Revive the dead. A wish can bring a dead creature back to life by duplicating a resurrection spell. A wish can revive a dead creature whose body has been destroyed, but the task takes two wishes, one to recreate the body and another to infuse the body with life again. A wish cannot prevent a character who was brought back to life from losing an experience level.

>>876704 Yet again...
* Transport travelers. A wish can lift one creature per caster level from anywhere on any plane and place those creatures anywhere else on any plane regardless of local conditions. An unwilling target gets a Will save to negate the effect, and spell resistance (if any) applies.
* Undo misfortune. A wish can undo a single recent event. The wish forces a reroll of any roll made within the last round (including your last turn). Reality reshapes itself to accommodate the new result. For example, a wish could undo an opponent’s successful save, a foe’s successful critical hit (either the attack roll or the critical roll), a friend’s failed save, and so on. The reroll, however, may be as bad as or worse than the original roll. An unwilling target gets a Will save to negate the effect, and spell resistance (if any) applies.

>>876674
>or anything else that might damage or destroy it
>or destroy it

>>876708
>Dispel it

>>876708
Also, if they're going to be playing that lute every fucking second, the DM better ask for sanity checks.

>>876715

It's only a standard-action strum once every 30 minutes.

>>876716
OIC.

Wait... something was mentioned about a mechanical manner of entry... what is it, exactly? Since I'm assuming no additional cost was mentioned... what, is it a wooden door in the midst of all this?

>>876740
You deactivate and carry the bulky Dimensional Lock furniture, then you teleport it, then you set it down and activate it.

>>876744
So no mechanical manner of entry?

Bedrooms, fancy = 4,000 gp
Bathroom, fancy = 2,000 gp
Obdurium exterior and interior walls ×2 spaces = 120,000 gp
Lead-lined walls ×2 spaces = 2,000 gp
Weekly success on a DC 18 Perform check with a lyre of building = -30% construction price
-----
Mundane construction total = 89,600 gp

Airtight walls ×2 spaces = 15,000 gp
Magically treated walls ×2 spaces = 24,000 gp
Ethereal solid walls ×2 spaces = 24,000 gp
Transparent walls ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
-----
Augmented walls total = 69,000 gp

Incredible locomotion ×2 spaces = 50,000 gp
Burrowing mobility ×2 spaces = 20,000 gp
Crawling mobility ×2 spaces = 2,000 gp
Flying mobility ×2 spaces = 30,000 gp
Sailing mobility ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
Submersing mobility ×2 spaces = 7,500 gp
Plane shift 1/day ×2 spaces = 50,000 gp
-----
Locomotion and mobility total = 165,500 gp

*Black luminary, pitch ×2 spaces = 30,000 gp
*Bright luminary ×2 spaces = 30,000 gp
Chamber of comfort ×2 spaces = 15,000 gp
Chamber of seeing ×2 spaces = 15,000 gp
Chamber of speed ×2 spaces = 30,000 gp
*Cloudgathering orb = 33,000 gp
Dimensional lock movable wondrous architecture ×2 spaces = 240,000 gp
Hall of speech ×2 spaces = 8,000 gp
Hole of hiding ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
Map of tactics, greater = 36,000 gp
Pantry of preservation ×2 spaces = 6,000 gp
*Pool of scrying, greater ×4 = 132,000 gp
Room of reading ×2 spaces = 1,500 gp
*Secure chamber ×2 spaces = 120,000 gp
Table of feasting = 43,200 gp
Table of freshness = 3,000 gp
*Tornado's eye = 90,000 gp
*Veil of obscurity = 25,000 gp
Wondrous whisperer ×10 walls = 30,000 gp
-----
Wondrous architecture total = 893,700 gp
*Updated for 3.5 in the Draconomicon, pages 84-86

5x cost for the at-will Lyre is way underpriced. Assuming it's 30 minutes 1/day, a fair cost would be 48x (624000gp). Note that any cost is a house rule, as D&D does not have rules for custom magic items, only guidelines.

>>876791

Mundane construction total = 89,600 gp
Augmented walls total = 69,000 gp
Locomotion and mobility total = 165,500 gp
Wondrous architecture total = 893,700 gp
-----
Stronghold total = 1,217,800 gp

Stronghold total = 1,217,800 gp
At-will lyre of building = 65,000 gp (13,000 gp × 5)
-----
Final total (without spell turrets) = 1,282,800 gp (achievable by four 16th-level characters with the Landlord feat and 82,800 gp pocket money)

Enlarged orb of force at caster level 10th spell turret (construction cost) = 25,000 gp and 2,000 xp
Enlarged orb of force at caster level 10th spell turret (market price) = 50,000 gp
Enlarged orb of force at caster level 10th = Ranged touch attack at +10, 10d6 force damage, 400-foot range, no save, no spell resistance, penetrates an antimagic field

Brief rundown of each of the magical components:

• Fancy bed and bathroom.
• Obdurium walls have hardness 30, 180 hit points, break DC 60, and climb DC 25.
• Lead-lined walls provide non-magical protection against certain divination spells.

• Airtight walls means no liquid or gas can enter the cube, unless you open it up.
• Magically treated obdurium walls are upgraded to hardness 60, 360 hit points, break DC 80, and climb DC 25.
• Ethereal solid walls make it so that nobody can sneak inside through the Ethereal Plane or through incorporeality.
• Transparent walls mean that you can see outside your cube, and people can't see inside because of the mirage arcana.

>>876801

• Burrowing, crawling, flying, sailing, submersing mobility at incredible locomotion means you have all forms of movement available at 10 miles per hour (14.67 feet per second or 88 feet per round).
• Plane shift lets you transport the cube to another plane once per day, albeit appearing 5d% miles from the intended destination.

• Black luminary gives you an on-off deeper darkness switch with a 60-foot radius.
• Bright luminary gives you an on-off daylight switch with a 60-foot radius.
• Chamber of comfort gives you an infinite supply of fresh air at a cozy 70 degrees Fahreinheit.
• Chamber of seeing negates all invisibility within the cube.
• Chamber of speed gives everyone the effects of a haste spell.
• Cloudgathering orb makes it so that the weather within a 2-mile radius is always of the worst condition for the season (see: www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/controlWeather.htm)
• Hall of speech makes everyone inside understand any language, even from outside the cube.
• Hole of hiding makes the ceiling (of both rooms) act like a rope trick spell.
• Map of tactics (greater) gives you a topological map of everything one mile within the cube, and lets you track the status of up to six subjects who touch the map for 18 hours per day each.
• Pantry of preservation bestows a gentle repose spell on all organic matter, meaning no food is perishable.
• Pools of scrying let you cast greater scrying.
• Room of reading gives everyone inside a permanent read magic spell.
• Secure chamber gives the entire cube a mind blank spell, so no divination spells work on it and nobody's minds can be magically influenced.
• Table of feasting gives a heroes' feast spell thrice per day.
• Table of freshness purifies any food or drink placed on the table.

>>876810

• Tornado's eye gives you tornado-force winds in a 720-foot radius, 40-foot high cylinder with an 80-foot radius safe zone in the center.
• Veil of obscurity gives you a permanent mirage arcana spell for the cube, meaning you can make it look like WHATEVER YOU WANT from the outside.
• Wondrous whisperer gives each wall a whispering wind spell, meaning they're all speakerphones with a 1-mile range.

Antimagic Fields have their line of effect blocked by the walls... check.
Dimensional Locks block teleportation or extradimensional travel inside the cube... check.
Cube can burrow, crawl, fly, sail, submerse and Plane Shift... check.
Supplies provided for by the Table of Feasting... check.
Tactical surveillance from the Greater Map of Tactics and Pools of Scrying... check.
Transparent walls let you see from the inside and Mirage Arcana blocks the view from the outside... check.
Secure Chamber prevents all divination spells and mind-affecting effects against the people in the cube, just like Mind Blank... check.
Tornado in a 720 foot radius and stormy weather in a 2 mile radius... check.
Optional spell turrets w/ Enlarged Orbs of Force... check.

Aside from the wizard with Etherealness and Mordenkainen's Disjunction, what other security holes do we need to cover?

BEEN DONE BEFORE

>>876843
What the balls?

>>876847

Bow before the cube of God.

>>876847
Wait you honestly don't know what this is? Go outside or read a goddamn book. I'm guessing you are American which would lead itself to all sorts or delicious irony.

>>876847

Fuck off, Amerikkkan. Go murder some brown people.

>>876843
facepalm.jpg
>>876864
>>876872
>delicious irony
And yet you don't. . .argh.

Can we take out the huge bathroom and replace it with a fancy "library" for fapping material and whatnot? You can always cordon off a small section and have the party artificer make you a magical bathtub and toilet.

But hey, if you insist on having your 20x20x10 foot bathroom complete with jacuzzi and portable hot springs so you can communally relax in naked skinship akin to some hot springs anime episode, fine by me too. Just make sure you're ready at all times for an assault.

>>876656
>>876666

Technically this may be workable; some of the potential catastrophes you can cause with portable holes neither deal damage or destroy objects, but cause an object to have simply never existed in the first place, while leaving behind all memories and actual results of its activity. Its messy and paradoxical, but then you did just tear reality a new one so thats to be expected.

>>876876
I feel your pain.

>>876879

Just a two-bed, four-person bedroom and bathroom. Stick to the basics.

Or you know, if you're willing to sleep on a bathroom floor or in a rope trick space, we can renovate the cube to have a single two-story LUXURY bathroom which costs 10,000 gp and takes up two stronghold spaces. It needs a servant and a valet, but we can always buy invisible server wondrous architectures for 1,500 gp each. Alternatively, we can also replace both stronghold spaces with either a 20,000 gp luxury bedrooms (two beds, four residents, one valet, two stronghold spaces) or a 25,000 gp luxury bedroom suite (one bed, two residents, one valet, two stronghold spaces).

But I think we'll just stick to the 5,000 gp fancy bedrooms and the 4,000 gp fancy bathroom. That way, we have the bare basics covered, and don't have to deal with unseen servants generated from the invisible helper wondrous architectures. We might not have the most luxurious home in the lot, but come on, we're staying inside an invincible hikikomori cube of doom, not the Four Seasons.

>>876903
What about food?

>>876925

Table of feasting. Three heroes' feasts per day, each with enough servings for up to twelve people:

www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/heroesFeast.htm
>You bring forth a great feast, including a magnificent table, chairs, service, and food and drink. The feast takes 1 hour to consume, and the beneficial effects do not set in until this hour is over. Every creature partaking of the feast is cured of all diseases, sickness, and nausea; becomes immune to poison for 12 hours; and gains 1d8 temporary hit points +1 point per two caster levels (maximum +10) after imbibing the nectar-like beverage that is part of the feast. The ambrosial food that is consumed grants each creature that partakes a +1 morale bonus on attack rolls and Will saves and immunity to fear effects for 12 hours.
>If the feast is interrupted for any reason, the spell is ruined and all effects of the spell are negated.

Whatever, I just use Pun Pun.

This is likely to be the most hilarious D&D thread we've had in months.

Hmm, the cube is airtight and provides its own fresh air for its passengers. I'm willing to bet that we can travel outer space (spelljamming!) with this thing.