As a representative of Games Workshop, I am here to inform you of changes to upcoming fluff.The biggest change will be Kharn kicking Khorne's ass and taking his place.Please respond with any comments and complaints in thread.
In before 100 posts.
>>839465Pfft. That is bullshit. Kharn wouldn't kick Khorne's arse. Kharn IS Khorne.
>>839469I can't help but think you're imersonating me.
>>839470>imersonating
>>839470>imersonatingHow does I imersonating something?
For some reason I always picture Khorne as a rather pasty white guy sitting on a ridiculously high throne of skulls and brass. Not a fa/tg/uy but just a regular, non-athletic thin guy, sort of like Sheogorath from Oblivion. Like sheogorath, he would be very jocular and friendly, but kind of nonsensical. He'd also have a bit of a frat-guy attitude about "fags" and "big words". Also, he'd be shirtless.I don't picture him being in anyway red, demonic, or bloodthirsty, that just happens to be the sort of realm he has control over, and he thinks its cool.
Kharn isn't nearly strong enough to overthrow Khorne.
>>839476This for all the Chaos gods.
>>839478>Khorne isn't nearly strong enough to keep Kharn from kicking his ass.fix'd, and he's such a swell guy.
>>839476Also I think Khorne's realm in the warp is sort of like an endless, steamy, internectine locker room where greasy sweaty bloodletters are perpetually coming in and toweling themselves off and snapping each other with towels. It would perhaps be the scariest place imaginable for a 14-year-old homophobe.
>>839489Bloodletters are gay?Thats....wow. Freaky sex.
>>839489All those daemons fresh from the Flesh-realm, still covered in the blood of however many victims they got before being banished. Greater Daemons sharing a shower...
Yeah I don't see them killing if you end up there. Its more hardcore homo-erotic hazing. Laughing in demonic tongues as they chase you naked through long corridors of a Clive Barker / Wes Craven style locker room snapping towels at you and calling you a faggot.
>>839495I'm reminded of that Khornate planet in the Eye of Terror from that story in the Ork codex.
>>839495
This explains why Khorne hates Slaanesh with such a passion. Slaanesh keeps ripping on old Khorne for being stuck in closet and not letting his followers in on the joke about what it's really like up there.
>>839499Or perhaps Slaanesh is his secret gay lover, and he orders his followers to attack Slaanesh's followers in an effort to cover up his realationship with him.
>>839502Oh God.It all makes sense.
>>839512And Slaanesh goes along with it because she/he/it/alloftheabove loves it when Khorne gets all 'rough' and 'protective' over her/him/it/whyhasitgotsomanypenis.
>>839516Tzeentch clearly hooked them up.
>>839502>>839512>>839516/r/ a drawfag.
Frankly, it's not surprising. You amble about in the universe for so many hundreds of thousands of years with only three other beings on your level, you're going to fuck each of them at least once.I mean, how much time can a Chaos God spend sitting in his/her abscess in the fabric of reality and plotting horrible things? Wouldn't it be boring to just interact with your pet demons and cultists? And those lesser beings definitely can't adequately handle the mighty genitals of a god. You're at least going to experiment once in the maddening inhuman spans of shifting time in the Warp.
>>839530They're all fucked when the Star Child gets back.Literally.
>>839530I'de really like to be with you and all, but I'm not quite sure you'de be able to have my spiky genitals of doom.
>>839530Oh God. They have sex with The Warp.This explains Warp Storms.AND the Eye Of Terror.
I just got an awful image in my head of Khorne slam-fucking Papa Nurgle.
>>839539Oh god that would SOUND horrible.*squirt,squirt,squish,splurt*
This thread is spouting dire heresies which would weird even Kharne out.
>>839534There's many many issues with god/lesser being realtionships. Horrible mind-rending boners from beyond the stars, STDS so potent thay can make a man explode, difficulty in maintaining arousal with the screams of the damned going 24/7, crsuhing, every nerve in your body shorting out when Slaanesh gives you a quick interdimensional handjob, the list goes on and on.
>>839542
With every new revelation, this thread seems to be opening a rift into the warp.NO! NO! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE, YOU FOOLS!
>>839544Oh god. Why must you destroy my dreams so?
>>839544>>every nerve in your body shorting out when Slaanesh gives you a quick interdimensional handjob,Now THAT is skill.
>>839550"Hey, baby, how was your day at work? Want me to releive you?""OH GOD DON-"
>>839540They'd be surrounded by Nurglings pointing and giggling. And Plaguebearers counting every thrust out loud.
Meanwhile, the C'tan sit in the shadows and watch and wait and planand watchand WATCH
We've all been ignoring Teezntch.
>>839560Just as planned.
>>839559Fucking Druids.
>>839560He'd be smiling.Just.Smiling.
How did this thread get to where it is?
>>839585Right here, this is the turning point.>>839476
I can just picture it now. Slaanesh is born in a whirlwind of decadence, its first breath tearing a giant hole in reality and swallowing the souls of billions of Eldar, their gods either consumed or shattered (or fled)... and then with a turn a giant brass figure appears from nowhere and punches Slaanesh in the face... and Slaanesh likes it."HI I'M KHORNE YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND NOW"
What is a truly little known fact is that Slaanesh and Khorne are secretly trying to set up their champion's together at Slaanesh's insistence so they can have a mirror couple in reality.Every morning Kharn awakens in a cold sweat and gripped by fear, and across the other side of the galaxy Lucius is forced to get a new bed. Neither quite understand why.
>>839612So, what happens if Khorne kills Lucius?
>>839619If Khorne does it? He sleeps on the skull couch.If Kharn does it? Well then I guess that makes them a couple, because they won't be able to split up.
>>839624God, the sex would be weird.
>>839624And damnit. I just realised I've been thinking of Kharn as Khorne for a good eight years.
>>839612I think waking up in sweaty panic in a bed would be actually be a pleasant way to wake up for Kharn.I just picture him bolting up screaming out of a crater filled with the dead after passing out from overexertion in battle, or something.
>>839634I don't know how I would react if I saw a naked, screaming, caked-in-blood Kharn running full pelt towards me screaming "FUCK FUCK FUCK".
>>839612I AM AL W. BUSH GORE!
>>839636Well, just so you know, don't bend over. He doesn't mean that kind of what he's yelling.
>>839642I think this is the kind of face I'd make if I saw it. Right before passing out from fear.
>>839636Okay, I lol'd.Frightened and confused and naked Kharn?Why is that so funny to me.
Archived for the greater good.
>>839651What.
The chaos gods are basically those frat guys in the RV who were in Borat. Nurgle is the fat one. Slaanesh is the one who would play "when the snake eat the pig", Khorne was the one who kept stopping abruptly in the middle of his sentences, confused, and said, "R WUMMINZ UR SLAVES?" I'm not sure what Tzeentch was doing, probably driving.
>>839697Tzeentch put the scene up on Youtube and made sure all their friends saw it.
>>839699And made sure the scene got in the movie.Just as planned.
Tzeentch was Borat.
>>839713OH MAN EPIPHANY
Look what you all FUCKING DID!
>>839730Divided by zero?
ITT: I am lurking
I really want to see a shotgun wedding between Slaanesh and Khorne now. Tzeentch being the priest and Papa Nurgle holding a shotgun (or some other sort of weapon) towards Slaanesh and Khorne(in a dress).
>>839748Why is Nurgle co-operating?
>>839749Tzeentch made him do it.Just as planned.
I love you guys, I really do.
Dear Games Workshop representative:I don't play your games for the shitty lore you write around your toy soldiers. Do whatever the fuck you want with the fluff.
Oh lawd. This shit has been archived.
>>839770It looks like 40k sex jokes are my ticket to INTERNET FAME**(dying alone and unloved)
>>839532>Star childOh fuck its Paul Stanley!
