OH FUCK HE FOUND ME, TAKE THE KEY! TAKE IT! DON'T ARNNFGAKKKKKKKKKK AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH....... (arterial spurt) AHHH! AHHHHHH!(muffled screams) (gurgling)
JESUS CHRIST, IT'S... IT's... I DON'T EVEN KNOWGET THE FUCK OUT OF HEREI DON'T KNOW WHERE TO RUNOH GOD HELP ME
FUCK, FUCK FUCK FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUUUUCK! FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, RUN!
>>763259Phanto appreciates your relinquishing the key, but Moon, Sinistar, the Sun and the Yeti are out for your blood. Pyramid Head, obviously, just wants some loving.
I NEED AN ADULT
Don't worry. It's possible to outrun the yeti. Hit 'f' to go faster and approach it at an oblique angle. It'll gain on you, but will soon lose interest. Shortly thereafter, the second yeti will appear, and it'll chase you for a longer time. However, you can avoid it until the slope wraps back around to the top, at which time the yeti will leave.We all know that the Sun can be destroyed with a Koopa shell. Sinistar, you just need to shoot some guys. That just leaves the moon and Pyramid Head.Keep it together, /tg/. We can do this.
>>763281Pyramid Head can be destroyed when you come to a realization about yourself and your understanding and acknowledgment that Maria symbolizes the sexual nature of your relationship with Mary, and that Pyramid Head is the physical embodiment of your sexual frustration with your bedridden wife... argh fuck I'm bleeding out the nose again.
No, I've got it! We'll throw Rain his way and that will resolve that particular conflict. Now, how did Majora's Mask end...?
>>763288Fuck, guys, I never played Majora's Mask. What the fuck do we do now?
>>763296Nuke the moon?
>>763296Well, we have three days to figure it out. Three days FOREVER.
>>763301Wait, we have nukes? Why didn't we just hit the damn thing with a nuke in the first place?
>>763296Call the giants.
>>763307Nukes would only make Sinistar hungrier.
>>763307(sigh) Force application. It's the civilized way of doing things.People hit each other with fists, then to for bludgeons, then guns, then more guns, then tanks, then more tanks, then full armies, then..Well you get the idea.
>>763294Some giants stopped it and that dude in the mask suddenly cheered up.
>>763257This is like every childhood nightmare made manifest. We... we seem to have pushed it back for now, but... it will return.
Well, it looks like we live another day. But fuck, that thing is terrifying.
Well done, friends!So you see, /tg/? It is merely a matter of applying our knowledge and resisting panic.
I think that guy that had the key is pretty dead, though. There's blood everywhere...
>>763348I STILL NEED AN ADULT
>>763350... loot the body.
>>763362AND DEN WE'LL STICK WHEELZ AN' GUBBINZ ON IT AN' PAINT IT RED AND STUFF!
>>763350Yeah, well, that's what he gets for picking up the key. I'm sure he's got a couple clones left from his six-pack.
>>763362W00t! Guys, I found a key!