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File: Dragon Quest.jpg (209 KB, 1600x1051)
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Character Sheet that NEVER GETS UPDATED: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU/edit?usp=sharing

Also anons, I decided to say fuck it and allow anons to suggest changes in case I royally fuck shit up or forget about it. Or just am too lazy to do something...
Like do characters we meet. So treat it like a adventurer's journal or something, I guess. I don't know.

Oh, and also later I'll try to see about seperating the personal character sheet from the political character sheet, and really try to fucking clarify, but that is one hell of a task requiring some autism in today's coffee. But I'll get it done anons. I promise.
I need a drink though.

Also I feel particularly suicide today.

Twitter: QuestingQM

Last time on EDQ, we stopped being depressed by hanging out with our mom, looted Amsterdam, moved money to our bedroom, worshiped the Hellenic Gods, and got the INQUISITION to help us to fight back against the Furfags and Scalie menace.

Deus Vult, as we once said earlier in the quest.

So, if anons feel like purging HERESY as Amaya, just choose her. But if anons feel like getting shit done and possibly celebrating last night's victory over Flames, choose Ren.

PoV Time, faggots.

>Inquistoress Amaya Santiata!
>Renexizious Thorrson, Emperor Of Sweden.
>>
>>827601
>Inquistoress Amaya Santiata!
Let's purge some heretics.
We can do our victory lap later.
And laugh at cucked flames later as well.
>>
>>827601
>Inquistoress Amaya Santiata!
>>
Time for the Inquisition anons.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUMkcBctE7c

If this link's good, it should be Mel Brook's Inquisition theme anons.

You are the Inquistoress Amaya Santiata, a half-dragon who can shapeshift, breathe fire, and purge [b]HERESY[/b].

And right now, your planning to take care of the "furfags and scalies" in Stockholm... You of course have a limited amount of resources to draw upon depending on what your doing...

How will you solve the issue of heresy, madam?

>Try to be subtle and sneaky to avoid causing a scandal! (Sneaky!)
>...Go in loud and proud, call in the army and direct raids on likely places where heresy is likely dwelling! (Loud!)
>Try to find where their dens of deviancy are, and then raid them! (Semi-Sneaky!)
>...Try to find their main hubs and incite the citizenry to fight against them! (Semi-Quiet!)
>You have a idea... (Write-In)

Next, we'll decide who's helping or if you wnat to go solo.
>>
>>827728
>Try to find where their dens of deviancy are, and then raid them! (Semi-Sneaky!)

On the issue of scalies I think they might be salvageable with mutagen but their still weirdos. Better to just purge them all.
>>
You decide to find where their dens of deviancy are, and then raid them!

Are you taking anyone along with you?

>Of course not, you can go solo!
>Get a squad of random soldiers to come with you?
>Ask if Charlemagne wants to come. He's rather religious like you. He'd be happy to help!
>Try to get one of Ren's wives to help?
>You heard of this Adelmann, who is apparently a witch hunter... You could use someone like that to help you.
>Ask another one of the cabinet members?
>Write-in
>>
>>827766
>You heard of this Adelmann, who is apparently a witch hunter... You could use someone like that to help you.
Eventually we'll give more members of the inquisitions mutagens like Amaya so we can form effective hunting parties.
>>
You decide to bring along this Adelmann character who seems rather eager to get into the field...

Of course, you begin your investigation armed with light equipment, mostly a trenchcoat and a light pistol... It should be enough unless you run into anything too terrible. You also make sure to hide symbols of the Inquisition, as you decide the first place you'll visit...

Stockholm is of course rather large, so you'll have to think about where you'll head first... Where would the gays and furfags stay?

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you and Adelmann can come up with an idea where furfags would be at... Additional +3 if you can come up with a likely place they'd congregate at.
>>
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>827785
There's a good chance that they would go to a place like a Viking longship or somewhere where Ren made an appearance. Fenrir is associated with Vikings and Fen for obvious reasons. Maybe on the border with the more Draconic part of town.
>>
19+3=22

Good Guess!

You decide to visit locations where REn made an appearance... Such as a quaint bar on the side of town which he visited one time with his son, and where his dad tends to go to get a drink... You of course sit down with Adelmann in a corner, and order a drink...

"So, why exactly are we hunting people who dress up like animals?" Adelmann says...

"Well, mostly because they apparently like having sex in suits or something, Ren was mostly disgusted talking about it."

"So, now we're waiting at some place he went to and we're waiting for sexual deviants to show up... By Sigmar, I hate Slaaneshians..."

Actions

>Well, want a drink while we're waiting? It might be a while.
>Come on, it'll be over before you know it.
>...So, dealt with these types before?
>Stay silent and wait...
>Any tips you can give me?
>I doubt they'd be heading to a bar just for... Whatever they do. Let's just get going to another place...
>Want to bet how many heretics we'll find here?
>Write-In
>>
Giving a bump.
>>
>>827818
>I doubt they'd be heading to a bar just for... Whatever they do. Let's just get going to another place...

Is Adelmann a human or dragonoid?
>>
Human.

"You know, I doubt they'd be heading to a bar for whatever they do. Let's just get going to another place."

"We've been here for four minutes. And if we want to find them, we're going to have to draw attention to ourselves."

Actions

>And how are we doing that?
>Oh god... Do WE have to pretend to be deviants?
>Let's just get going, ok?
>So, drink a lot? Got it.
>Come on, how hard is it to find a bunch of furfags?
>...Well, I'll shapeshift then. Maybe they might think I'm in a costume or something.
>Write-in
>>
>>828022
>>Let's just get going, ok?
Sorry for inconsistency
>>
Same senpai. I'm busy here too.

"Well, I think we can find them at more obvious places. Let's get going, ok?"

The two of you continue to search, though you feel like your getting closer judging from some people talking about people dressed in a "fur outfit" or something...

So of course, you ask them for where the furfags were going... Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if they tell, additional +3 if you can convince or threaten them into telling you.
>>
Rolled 7 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>828535
>Hi. I just moved here from Spain and I'm with my boyfriend. Can you tell us where all the hotspots are for people are.
>>
Rolled 3 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>828535
>>
Rolled 5 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>828535
Okay to samefag?
>>
7+6=13

Minor Failure!

"Hi, I just moved here from Spain and I'm with my boyfriend. Can you tell us where all the hotspots are?"

"Well, there's always a bar you can go to, or if your upper class, you could just go to the theater... There isn't too much entertainment here, honestly... I'd ask the elves though, they know alot about that sort of thing."

"Oh. I see... Well..." You walk away with Adelmann, and the two of you try to find where the furfags are... Your search goes... Well, poorly... You can't find a single furry, let alone gay!

That's however, when you head to the elven slums and ask around... You decide to take the easy way... Investigating a gay nightbar...

After interrogating a few elves, you finally get a location, with the sun beginning to fall... It seems to be a gay nightclub called "Emerald" right by the port...

Actions

>Who cares about a gay night club? Your trying to purge specifically the furfags and scalies... Try to search further...
>This will do for now... Get Adelmann and drive there. You'll stake it out for now.
>...You need to infilitrate it to make sure it's not a cult to Slaanesh... Or at least find a trail to a furfag's place...
>...Mark it down and order the army to "clear it out", you don't intend to go nicely with them.
>Write-In
>>
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>>828687
>...You need to infilitrate it to make sure it's not a cult to Slaanesh... Or at least find a trail to a furfag's place...

Have you heard the news OP?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3934470/Donald-Trump-believed-direct-descendant-Rurik-Viking-established-Russian-state.html
>>
No wonder he and Putin get along so well.
New Russian Empire when?

You decide to infiltrate it... Of course, neither you or Adelmann are gay... God, this might be a little hard...

Actions

>...You don't want to do this... But find someone else who's female who's willing to infiltrate with you. You'll pretend to be a patron there... God, this is the lowest you've ever come...
>...Hey, Adelmann? How would you like to pretend to be gay for a while?
>...Maybe you can pose as staff?
>Your just going to see what the nightclub looks like, you are NOT going in yet...
>Just go solo... You don't want to get suspicion if you walk in with a guy or something.
>Write-in
>>
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>>828770
>Just go solo... You don't want to get suspicion if you walk in with a guy or something.
What a coincidence right.
>>
Yeah.

You decide to go alone to avoid suspicion... You drive up to the nightclub... You see a bouncer and a somewhat long crowd...

Roll me a 1d20+4 for how well it goes entering the nightclub... Additional +2 if you can come up with something convincing on why you came alone.

Also, I'll be offline while I troll the shit out of a walkout at a university wearing a Trump hat.
Wish me luck anons, and wish my medical bills aren't that high.
>>
Rolled 1 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>828856
God luck OP. Hope you don't get lynched.
>>
Yeah.

You decide to go alone to avoid suspicion... You drive up to the nightclub... You see a bouncer and a somewhat long crowd...

Roll me a 1d20+4 for how well it goes entering the nightclub... Additional +2 if you can come up with something convincing on why you came alone.

Also, I'll be offline while I troll the shit out of a walkout at a university wearing a Trump hat.
Wish me luck anons, and wish my medical bills aren't that high.
>>
I'm back anons, sorry.

Critical Failure!

You go up to the bouncer, bypassing the line completely.

"Can you let me in? Inquisitorial business."

The bouncer shakes his head.

"Sorry, no... Wait in line a while, and don't you Inquisitorial types have a vow of chasity or something?"

"Of course we do."

"Well... I think this is a little suspicious. You ain't getting past me."

"What? Why?!"

"My boss gave me the right to deny service, come back with a warrant or something."

Actions

>I demand you let me in!
>...Listen, unless you want your ass officially investigated by the Inquisition, you will open these doors now!
>Fine then, you will! Who cares if this becomes public knowledge?
>Shapeshift in front of the bouncer?
>Punch the bouncer, if he won't let you in, you'll let yourself in.
>You have nothing to fear unless it's heretical, bouncer...
>Write-In
>>
>>829243
>I demand you let me in!

How much blood did you loss?
>>
>>829243
>Do you really want me to come back with a warrant and a bunch of Inquisitors and have to shut this place down because you won't let me in?
>>
Well, my hat has a tear now. That's really it.

"I demand you let me in!"

"Nope. I don't like your attitude."

"Really? Do you want me to come back with a warrant and a bunch of inquisitors and have this place shut down because you won't let me in?"

"Well, last I checked we aren't a theocracy, and this place isn't harming anyone."

Actions

>Fine, I'll get a warrant then.
>If you want, I could get Renexizious himself to come down and kick your ass.
>I'll make you cry the saint's names if you don't let me inside.
>Last time I checked, the current Pope just so happens to be the Emperor of Sweden.
>Growl and leave. Technically there are no laws allowing you to persecute against homosexuals... Yet.
>Shapeshift?
>I am the head of the inquisition and you are questioning MY power?
>Of course it's harming people! This nightclub is ruining the moral integrity of good honest people!
>Write-In
>>
>>829304
>I'll make you cry the saint's names if you don't let me inside.
Intimidation time.
>>
>>829304
>I'll make you cry the saint's names if you don't let me inside.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can intimidate him! Additional +2 if you can be intimidating!
>>
Rolled 11 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>829325
>>
Rolled 7 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>829325
>Fun fact. You don't need a flamethrower as an Inquisitor when you can breathe fire.
>>
11+6=17

Borderline Success!

"Did you know you don't need a flamethrower as an Inquisitor when you can breathe fire?"

"Well..." He studies you for a bit.

"I'm not joking if that's what your thinking."

"Well..." He seems a little intimidated, but isn't exactly backing down...

Actions

>...Try to be more intimidating!
>Hit him in the throat? This can probably take him out in a single hit, and render him unconscious!
>Let me just say that having someone's nightclub burn down while your it's bouncer isn't too good on a resume...
>Trip him and rush inside?
>Do you KNOW what I could do to you? I could haul you in for investigation, and you will never see the light of day unless you let me inside!
>Shapeshift!
>Write-In
>>
>>829370
>Hit him in the throat? This can probably take him out in a single hit, and render him unconscious!
>>
>>829370
>Hit him in the throat? This can probably take him out in a single hit, and render him unconscious!
I thought we were supposed to be subtle but okay.
>>
Apparently Amaya lacks subtlety.

Roll me a 1d20+4 for throat-punching. Additional +3 for good one-liners!
>>
Rolled 8 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>829389
Just another day in the holy inquisition
>>
Waiting ten more minutes for more rolls.
>>
Rolled 5 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>829389
>Maybe you can choke on something else for once deviant.
While he's struggling to breath on the ground
>>
Well, I'll allow a samefag anons.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>829389
Dice Gods please help us cleanse the deviants
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

8+7=15

Border Check

Roll me a 1d20, and I'll roll you a 1d20! Only first roll is allowed!
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>829442
This should be easy
>>
Good Success!

You punch him square in the throat, and he chokes...

"Maybe you can choke on something else for once, deviant." And you walk inside as he struggles to breathe... The people behind you in the line seem confused as you walk into the nightclub, and you make the sign of the cross as you enter... You see male and female strippers, not to mention somesort of flashing light and bar... And quite a few men dressed up as girls, and vice versa.

This is truly a hive of scum and villainy...

Actions

>...Go to the bar and get a drink. You need a drink.
>...Try to ask around if there's any "kinky" stuff going on or something.
>...Sneak into the bathrooms and shapeshift. You'll pretend to be a "scalie."
>Too much heresy. Get out of there!
>That's it, your putting this on hold... Pull out your gun now.
>Pretend to be "interested" in girls. Maybe someone can tell you where a bigger hive of den and villainy is...
>Pretend to dance?
>Ask one of the men dressed up like girls what the fuck they're doing.
>Try to explore the nightclub... You need to see the back rooms and where the manager's office is...
>Write-In
>>
>>829468
>...Try to ask around if there's any "kinky" stuff going on or something.
>>
>>829468
>...Try to ask around if there's any "kinky" stuff going on or something.
I'm tempted to go to basement or something and causing a fire just to destroy this whole place. However we still require knowledge about furries.
>>
You decide to ask around...

Roll me a 1d20-4 to not look out of place. Additional +2 if you can try to explain why or attempt to fit in.
>>
Rolled 1 - 4 (1d20 - 4)

>>829498
>>
Rolled 18 - 2 (1d20 - 2)

>>829498
>I'm new to this

>>829501
Damn it
>>
Rolled 1 - 4 (1d20 - 4)

>>829498
Rollan
>>829501
>Inb4 yells DEUS VULT
>>
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>>829501
>>829531
>>
Holy shit Amaya fucking sucks at this whole "ask around and be sneak" thing.

DOUBLE CRITICAL FAILURE!

Angered by this blasphemy, you grab the nearest person, who happens to be a girl.

"Tell me, where's the nearest furry meeting place?! THE INQUISITION DEMANDS IT!" You yell, clearly angered.

"W-what!? I-I'm just here for a party!"

You punch the heathen in her face, knocking her out cold and tossing her to the side. You are quite fucking angry, and grab another guy.

"Tell me where the nearest furry meeting location is?"

"W-what?! Your into that sort of thing?"

"What?! No!"

"I-I don't know!"

You headbutt him to the ground, pick up him, and march the deviant to the bar table and slide him across it, sending plates of food and drink everywhere! Goddamn it, why doesn't anyone have any good information! This is when you realize that you've attracted the attention of every patron in the bar, and quite a few people look at you pissed off... And clearly not amused at you roughing up two of the patrons. And you highly doubt anyone's going to give you any information while your here...

Actions

>Fuck it, shapeshift!
>Well... You've come this far. Time to purge some deviants.
>...Punch the nearest guy to release your holy rage. Goddamn gays...
>Try to act like the meanest and toughest motherfucker in here. You did just fuck up two people.
>Excuse yourself... You are not getting information if you happen to beat the shit out of everyone.
>...There's only one method left... Demand to see the manager of this terrible place!
>Write-In
>>
>>829564
>Try to act like the meanest and toughest motherfucker in here. You did just fuck up two people.
>>
>>829564
>Try to act like the meanest and toughest motherfucker in here. You did just fuck up two people.
>Can someone please fucking tell me where the furry convention is? Some asshole told me to go here.
Warming up those nat ones.
>>
>>829564
>Try to act like the meanest and toughest motherfucker in here. You did just fuck up two people.
>...There's only one method left... Demand to see the manager of this terrible place!

I'm calling it now. The manager is Daemonette of Slaanesh.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5 to be mean, tough, and terrifying. Additional +3 if you can do something threatening or say something intimidatingly.
>>
Rolled 13 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>829600
Beat up another deviant
>>
Rolled 19 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>829600
Assault another deviant.
The biggest one in the room
>>
19+8=27

Good Success!

You decide to find the biggest and tallest deviant in the room... And you walk with anger, determination, which makes people look away... You eventually come up to an abnormally large half-dragon male, who's making out with another man... And with a woman around his other hand, he's most likely an ungodly bisexual... You poke him on the chest, as that's as high as you can reach up to. He turns around, nearly hitting you with his tail... He's about twenty two feet... Holy shit.

"Huh? I must not of noticed you. You need something?" He seems oblivious to your intimidation efforts, and seems rather upbeat.

Actions

>Sorry to interrupt... But do you happen to know who the fuck the manager is here?
>Punch him right in the dick.
>Under the order of the Inquisition, your under arrest for sexual degeneracy!
>Fuck you and your gay ass shit.
>I'll leave you be then. Sorry to interrupt.
>...I'll fucking fight you, you faggot.
>...Where the fuck is the furry convention?
>Spit in his eye!
>Write-in
>>
>>829631
>...Where the fuck is the furry convention?
>Sorry to interrupt... But do you happen to know who the fuck the manager is here?
Maybe we can finally get some info.
>>
>>829631
>...Where the fuck is the furry convention?
>Sorry to interrupt... But do you happen to know who the fuck the manager is here?

Is this what happens when you give a Minotaur dragon mutagen?
>>
Nah, he's just abnormally large.
"So, where the fuck is the furry convention?"

"That? Well, I heard three fat guys in the corner talk about it. Had neckbeards, that sort of thing. Weird guys too... I have to remember where they went off too, though."

"...Huh... And do you happen to know the manager?"

"He's upstairs, usually. Not around often though... Anyways, have a good day... And if you want, I can give you the love of a life-time..." He winks his eye charmingly.

"Erh, no."

"Aw, damn. Well, it was worth a shot. Your a beautiful woman, you know that?" He chuckles a little..

"Are you usually like this?"

"Eh, only on leave. Say babe, how would you like to relax with a veteran of Constantinople? Not many women can say that..."

Actions

>Punch him straight in the dick.
>...You remind me of a certain someone.
>You already seem to have plenty of company, thanks.
>You didn't exactly give me a specific location for where the furry convention is... Those three neckbeards are probably long gone.
>Why don't you come with me to help find the furfags?
>What's your name?
>I'm a member of the Inquisition and your asking me to tumble with you?!
>...Dislike the furfags at all?
>Your a filthy degenerate. I'll order Renexizious to dispose of you when I get back to the palace...
>Write-In
>>
>>829699
>You didn't exactly give me a specific location for where the furry convention is... Those three neckbeards are probably long gone.
>You already seem to have plenty of company, thanks.
>>
>>829699
>You didn't exactly give me a specific location for where the furry convention is... Those three neckbeards are probably long gone.
>You already seem to have plenty of company, thanks.
>>
"You didn't exactly give me a specific location for where the furry convention is. Those three neckbeards are probably long gone."

"Well, they said... Well, I think something on..." He gives you exactly where they meet.

"I see. Well, you already seem to have plenty of company, thanks though..."

"Yeah, have a safe drive." He flashes you a smile and turns back to carousing and trying to make out with a man and woman at once... You also mark this gay nightclub down and yawn... Your going to need to set up for your next strike against the degenerates...

You are now Renexizious, and you've finally gotten home after your trip with Katariina... And you've recently gotten from Amaya a notepad detailing the location of a gay nightclub... She advises that you "purge the heresy and salt the land", but your holding that off for now. You just want to enjoy a cup of wine and listen to Flame's beta tears while you watch the snow fall outside...

Actions

>...Well, time for the victory lap so to speak... Visit Chrysoula.
>...You should take care of this gay nightclub.
>Continue to listen to Flame's beta tears and shit talk him!
>Eh... Celebrating can come later, you feel like getting some work done.
>Maybe you should celebrate by hanging out with a wife?
>...Try to mutate Kryos. You did say you would.
>...Drink your wine and relax while you look over Amaya's reports... A job well done. (Switch back to Amaya's investigation!)
>You should visit Katariina again...
>Just relax a little. Something to do will no doubt pop up shortly.
>Write-In
>>
>>829743
>Eh... Celebrating can come later, you feel like getting some work done.
>...Try to mutate Kryos. You did say you would.

We should start making laws against homosexuality and stuff like that.
>>
>>829743
>Ahh. The snow is falling. A nice glass of wine in my hand. And relaxing beta tears to listen to.
>...Well, time for the victory lap so to speak... Visit Chrysoula.
>>
>>829758
I'm fine with waiting till after we get shit done to cuck flames.
We have all the time in the world.
>>829753
Switching to this.
>>
You calmly relax, leaning into your chair... You should really make laws against homosexuality... Maybe...

Actions

>...Go actually do work... Go and rule for a few weeks...
>Discuss with your cabinet how to do some laws against homosexuality!
>Take care of the gay nightclub! You will not let your people fall to degeneracy!
>...You NEED an alliance between you, Germany, and Spain. Get them on the phone!
>Try and talk to the kobolds? Maybe your an official citizen now?
>Write-In
>>
>>829811
>Discuss with your cabinet how to do some laws against homosexuality!
>>
>>829811
>Discuss with your cabinet how to do some laws against homosexuality!
You know what'd be ironic?
If our cracking down on things that fuel chaos fuels chaos.
>>
I think there's a God of Chaos that's against Chaos. I honestly forget his name and I think Geedubs retconned him.

You decide to discuss with your cabinet how to do some laws against homosexuality... Kryos is unable to show, but everyone shows up...

"So, we're here today to crack down on homosexuality..."

"Erh, why?" Asks Victor. Lorriana seems confused, while Amaya seems pleased, your court mage seems indifferent, and your defense minister seems pleased as well. Your treasurer doesn't exactly seem pleased though.

"Why?" You ask, Victor.

"Well... I mean, I'm kind of curious. Why do you want to crack down on homosexuality?"

Loretta raises her hand next.

"Also, why do you care what mortals spend their time trying to tumble?"

Actions

>Well, doing sexually degenerate things tend to fuel Slaanesh.
>I don't like the idea of my kids growing up in a country gripped by homosexuality.
>Because... It's on the rise, Victor...
>Well, I say we ban it outright.
>If someone can't tumble properly, they lack any and all worth to me and my Empire.
>Normally, I don't care, but this effects the ENTIRE Empire.
>Are you secretly gay or something, Victor? Why do you care?
>Write-In
>>
>>829895
>Well, doing sexually degenerate things tend to fuel Slaanesh. The more degenerate the more it fuels him.
>>
>>829895
>Because... It's on the rise, Victor...
>I don't like the idea of my kids growing up in a country gripped by homosexuality.
Maybe we should start small. Ban homosexuality in all of Scandinavia first.
>>
>>829895
Also I think you're talking about Malal
>>
"Because it's on the rise, and I don't like the idea of my kids growing up in a country gripped by homosexuality!"

Most of your councilors agree that gays are a menace, save Victor.

"I mean, I'm just saying, but who cares if someone's gay?"

"Didn't you say you were a Republican when you were in the states?"

"I don't remember... And I'm a Libertarian."

"...Oh, right."

"I just think this isn't as big as a deal as your making it out to be. I mean, I don't like homosexuality, but that doesn't mean we can just ban it..."

Actions

>Yes we can, Victor. Yes we can.
>Don't you mean an Edgetarian?
>...Fine, Victor. Give me an argument to not ban homosexuality.
>Ignore Victor's protests, and move onto outlawing homosexuality...
>...You know, we can't stop here. We need to take a stand against any future blight, such as transsexuals, furries, scalies, and other strange fetishes...
>...You know, I think we should come up with punishments for homosexuality...
>I think we need to root out the disease that's taking root in our country... Any and all sexual deviants need to be taken care of for the good of the nation.
>Listen, I'm not against gays or anything, and I just think that it's working against us.
>I need to appeal to the Catholics, damn it...
>Try to convince Victor this is a good thing?
>But if we don't get rid of it, then Slaanesh increases in power, Victor...
>What are you, gay?
>...Why don't we get Kryos's opinion. I'll call him up.
>Write-In
>>
>>829942
>...You know, we can't stop here. We need to take a stand against any future blight, such as transsexuals, furries, scalies, and other strange fetishes...
>Ignore Victor's protests, and move onto outlawing homosexuality...

If anything Mala is like the libertarian god of warhammer
>>
>>829942
>What are you, gay?
>...You know, we can't stop here. We need to take a stand against any future blight, such as transsexuals, furries, scalies, and other strange fetishes...
>Ignore Victor's protests, and move onto outlawing homosexuality...
>>
"We can't stop here. We need to take a stand against any future blight, such as trannsexuals, furfags, scalies, and other strange fetishes. So, with that... We should outlaw homosexuality. Who's in agreement?"

Victor disagrees, Lorriana simply says this isn't really worth her time, which you take as disagreement... And Anitta... Who seems slightly worried... But Amaya declares her overwhelming support, Kristijan likes it, and you like it... And Temiar finally declares his support after a small bribe...

"Well, that seems to be it. The cabinet agrees that homosexuality should be legally pu-"

Victor speaks up.

"Hold on, we still need Kryos's vote."

"But he's injured... He'll be injured for months!"

"We can call him, can't we?"

Actions

>...Ignore him, and ban homosexuality.
>...Fine, he'll have the deciding vote.
>So? We'll be tied even if he sides with you.
>Victor, if you ever get the idea to question the judgement of your betters, I will personally make you regret it. Now, let's pass this homosexuality banning, shall we?
>...Anitta? Why are you so nervous?
>Well, god wills it, I suppose!
>Because I'm in a good mood... I'll just abstain.
>Write-In
>>
>>829990
>So? We'll be tied even if he sides with you.
>Fine I'll call him
>>
>>829990
>...Anitta? Why are you so nervous?
>Fine I'll call him
>>
"So? We're tied even if he sides with you... And Anitta? Why are you nervous?"

"I'm... Well... I'm bisexual..."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, but I just am... I like men and women. I just don't want that right taken away..."

"I see..."
You also note the defense minister seems a little confused...

"See? Now, why don't we call Kryos?" Victor says...

"Well... I guess I'll call him."

You get up, and dial in the hospital's number... After a bit, you hear Kryos answer.

"Yes? Who is this?"

"Hi, it's me... Renexizious."

"Oh. Hey. What's happening?"

Actions

>Say yes or no, and preferably yes...
>So... Want to ban some homosexuals?
>So, in the interests of Sweden, I need you to vote yes to prevent cultural and sexual decay.
>Write-In
>>
>>830028
>In the interests of Sweden I'm trying to ban homosexuality to prevent cultural and sexual decay. Oh and other bad shit.
>>
>>830028
>So, in the interests of Sweden, I need you to vote yes to prevent cultural and sexual decay.
>>
File: Spoiler Image (2.08 MB, 4032x3024)
2.08 MB
2.08 MB JPG
>>830028
Hey QM, the engine of the bus I was on burst. How was your day?
>>
"In the interests of Sweden I'm trying to ban homosexuality to prevent cultural and sexual decay... And other bad shit."

"Hey uh, sorry... But no. I have gay friends, and I don't see why this is an issue right now, when there's racial tensions brewing outside."

Actions

>This is very important, Kryos.
>Vote yes if you want to have your stumped arm back to normal.
>...Fine then Kryos... I guess everyone here likes societal decay...
>Come on damn it, vote yes!
>Argue with him over the phone?
>Well, since I'm the Emperor, your votes don't matter. I'm outlawing it anyways.
>Listen... Why don't we come to a deal? We don't outlaw it outright...
>Write-In

>>830059
Good. I learned a nearby university was having a walk out, and I had a MAGA hat... So I decided to commit suicide by going out there wearing it.
>>
>>830065
>Listen... Why don't we come to a deal? We don't outlaw it outright...
Outlaw it in Sweden, Norway, Finland and Denmark.
>>
>>830065
>This is very important, Kryos. I wouldn't bother with this if it wasn't.
Does our council know about chaos gods?
>>
>>830092
At least Amaya does. The others I don't think so.
>>
>>830102
Should we tell them or just leave them ignorant?
>>
>>830106
Uhh. We probably should but that's too much work right now.
>>
>>830092
Only Amaya.

'Listen, Kryos, this is very important. I wouldn't bother with this if it wasn't. How about this... I'll just outlaw it in Sweden, Norway, Finland, and Denmark."

"Why are you prosecuting people on things they can't control?"

Actions

>Have you ever heard of the Chaos Gods?
>...Listen, this is for the greater good, trust me.
>Listen, unless you want to get raped by tentacles, you'll help me.
>Listen, I'm not trying to be oppressive or anything, ok?
>Goddamn it, make another deal...
>Force your will! You'll just bypass your cabinet completely!
>Write-In
>>
>>830115
>Have you ever heard of the Chaos Gods?
It's time he gets the red pill.
>>
>>830115
>...Listen, this is for the greater good, trust me.
>Have you ever heard of the Chaos Gods?

Kryos is still injured from the bombing attack and he's onboard with taking Half-Dragon mutagen. If we do betray him he'll forgive when we fix his body.
>>
You begin to explain to him what the Chaos Gods are... He seems somewhat disgusted...

"So, now will you vote?"

"It's wrong to persecute someone just or their race or sexuality, and that's what IRUS stands for! You aren't even addressing major issues, your making issues out of small things! In the future you might decide to prosecute monogamists or polygamists, or other races!"

"Kryos, come on, do you want daemons everywhere?"

"I don't even know if it's real or not, and how would a few homosexuals cause demons to appear?!" He seems to be getting angered on the other line, and is quite passionate... Then again, he is the leader of IRUS.

Actions

>Hang up!
>Fine, let's make a deal!
>Bypass him and just force the bill to pass!
>Kryos, accept or I'm not fixing your body.
>...Fine then. Appoint some yes men to sudden cabinet positions.
>Goddamn it, nevermind then... Just let the bill fail.
>And what major issues are these, Kryos?
>Write-In
>>
>>830158
>And what major issues are these, Kryos?
>>
>>830158
>That's the funny thing about Chaos. It's starts small. Just little things. Then it steps up. It gains foothold and it's ground increases. Then when they have enough the chaos cults form. The daemons start coming. And don't even think about fighting them because they won't die permanently. They can't. And as the influence grows they'll only get stronger. And soon it's all over.
>>
I think we should drop it and just go after furries and scalies.
>>
"You know, that's the funny thing about Chaos. It starts small, just little things... Then it gains footholds, and when they have enough chaos cults. Daemons start coming. And don't even think about fighting them because they won't die permanently."

"I'm not giving up what I believe in, and that's final." He hangs up angrily, more of a slam then an actual hanging up... So you head back to the meeting room.

"So, what did he say?" Says Victor.

Actions

>...He agreed with me. (Lie)
>Goddamn it, try to find someone specific to convert to your side. You only need one vote... (Choose between Victor, Loretta, or Anitta.
>...He agreed with you... Guess this can't pass anyways...
>He agrees with you... But fuck you all, I'm the Emperor, and I'm passing this bill.
>Why don't we make a deal?
>Write-In
>>
>>830198
>>Goddamn it, try to find someone specific to convert to your side. You only need one vote... (Choose between Victor, Loretta, or Anitta.
Loretta

We'll eventually have more cabinet members on our side next time. Positions like Head of the navy or Minister of Law and Order are vacant which means we can fill them with people who would support us.
>>
>>830198
>Goddamn it, try to find someone specific to convert to your side. You only need one vote... (Choose between Victor, Loretta, or Anitta.
Loretta.
We can tell her of chaos gods and Slaaneshian degeneracy.
I feel like inevitably the chaos gods will get in.
I want to be petty and tell kryon I told you so when that happens.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+2 to convince Loretta... Additional +4 if you can promise, bribe, convince, or threaten her...
>>
Rolled 7 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>830237
If we don't evil gods will break into our dimension and rape us.
>>
Rolled 16 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>830237
Please
>>
I feel as though we should ban gay bars, but not homosexuality. It should impede Slaanesh without pissing everyone off.
>>
>>830301
I can actually support that.
It sounds feasible.
>>
16+2=18

Success!

"Come on Loretta, just side with me on this one, ok?"

"Why?"

'Because evil gods are going to fuck us all over, and do you like the idea of kissing another woman?"

"Erh... No... I guess I'll support you."

"Easy. Now, let's see..."

Anitta seems kind of sad, Victor is disappointed... And that's really it. So you begin to decide on what this bill will include...

Actions

>Outlaw Homosexuality completely! No gays, no deviancy, no anything!
>Outlaw sexual deviance!
>Allow gay marriage! (Illegal, currently!)
>Institute taxes on homosexuals.
>Have a "quota" of allowed homosexuals. Anything over the limit MUST be changed or eliminated.
>Just outlaw the gay bars... This will slightly hurt your income, and will likely start an underground gay bar scene...
>REGULATE the shit out of gay bars, to make them more accoutnable and up to par to regular bars....
>Institute government owned gay bars with government staff and everything... You want a cut of the profits as well!
>Write-In
>>
>>830353
>Allow gay marriage! (Illegal, currently!)
This should stop them from being so deviant.
>Regulate gay bars.
And this should solidify it.
>>
>>830353
>Just outlaw the gay bars... This will slightly hurt your income, and will likely start an underground gay bar scene...
More work for the inquisition I guess. Although we still haven't gotten those furfags that Fenrir wanted us to.
>>
>>830353
>Allow gay marriage! (Illegal, currently!)
>REGULATE the shit out of gay bars, to make them more accoutnable and up to par to regular bars....
So we don't have to deal with what will basically be the gay prohibition.
>Outlaw sexual deviance!
Leave polygamy and interracial marriage
Furfags and scalies can get fucked though.
>>
>>830369
>>830393
Forgive if I'm wrong but isn't Slaanesh the god of perversion and excess pleasures. Assuming that most people at places like gay bars are there just for sexual pleasure along with gay couples in general, won't that feel Slaanesh.
>>
>>830414
That's why we're regulating them, anon.
>>
>>830414
Well we can't completely obliterate homosexuality yet.
If we make it illegal we make it harder on ourselves to keep an eye on them.
We could just have the Inquisition set up spies to look into degeneracy and perversion.
Basically I think we can keep better control over the homosexual population through regulation then banning
>>
You allow gay marriage and regulate the shit out of gay bars... Victor and Anitta are somewhat confused, and you clarify quickly... You also write in at the bottom to outlaw anything you deem "sexually unacceptable " such as "dressing up in animal suits". Fuck the furfags and scalies.

But of course, you have to legally set how severe sexual deviancy (as in dressing up like animals and fucking) is.

Actions

>Allowed, but a fine has to be paid...
>Imprisonment for a few days, or community service?
>A heavy fine or a felon's sentence of six months or more.
>...Legally seven years in prison...
>Twenty years in prison?
>...Imprisonment in Max Security... As in your dungeon.
>...Execution by electric chair.
>Execution by crucifixion!
>Execution by dragon nomming. As in you eating them and their eternal soul going to Khorne.
>...They become an eunuch...
>Nah... Take the "sexual deviant" part out. You don't want that in...
>Write-In
>>
>>830422
Yeah but it's still condoning homosexuality and casual sex which aids Slaanesh

>>830425
We should at least eliminate displays of homosexuality in public. If it goes public then more impressionable parts of the population will turn gay.

>>830444
>Execution by dragon nomming. As in you eating them and their eternal soul going to Khorne.
I think we did promise Fenrir that we would feed all those furries to Khorne and make them suffer all of eternity.
>>
>>830444
>Imprisonment for a few days, or community service?
>>
>>830448
I can agree to that
>>830444
>Execution by dragon nomming. As in you eating them and their eternal soul going to Khorne.
We promised Fenrir this anyways
>>
You write in that "sexual deviancy is punished by being added to Renexizious's hip new diet."

So of course, you relax in your chair, alone...

Actions

>Eh, you feel like doing something else.
>...Time to hear the beta tears of you going to Chrysoula...
>Maybe you should put public homosexuality under "public indecency."
>...You know, why bother with the electric chairs and other fancy things when you can just EAT death row prisoners? It would certainly make up for your diet...
>You know, maybe you should actually make polygamy legal. Because technically it's not.
>...You know, racial tensions have been an issue recently... Maybe you should handle that since Kryos can't.
>...Oh shit, you left those bodybags full of people unattended for a few days... You hope they're alright...
>...You should check on the daemonic bird and see if it's ready to talk...
>Write-In
>>
>>830501
>Maybe you should put public homosexuality under "public indecency."
>...You know, racial tensions have been an issue recently... Maybe you should handle that since Kryos can't.
>>
>>830501
>Maybe you should put public homosexuality under "public indecency."
>...You know, racial tensions have been an issue recently... Maybe you should handle that since Kryos can't.

We should also bring the mutagen with.
>>
You also put public homosexuality under public indecency, and you decide you have to figure out how to calm down racial tensions...

Actions

>...Try to heal Kryos to do his job? And mutate him while your at it?
>It can't be that hard to deal with a bunch of hopped up minor races who are angry about their leading being attacked... You'll deal with it yourself! Head to IRUS's headquarter!
>Do a public press conference?
>...Order the military to forcibly remove protestors off the streets.
>...You'll personally remove protestors off the streets...
>Just leave it be...
>
>Write-In
>>
>>830557
>...Try to heal Kryos to do his job? And mutate him while your at it?
>>
>>830557
>...Try to heal Kryos to do his job? And mutate him while your at it?
>>
You decide to heal and mutate Kryos while your at it... Of course, you need to make a mutagen for a minotaur first...

You head down into the dungeon, and you see the cultists from earlier executed against the wall. Nice. So you get a minotaur prisoner... Who seems to be struggling to escape...
Great.

"LET ME GO!" He yells. It seems clear he does not want to come with you to get experimented on... And killed to avoid escape.

Actions

>Try to reassure the minotaur that he'll be fine!
>...Try to get anesthetic. This will make your work a bit sloppy though , and increase your chances of failure.
>Offer the minotaur a deal if he calms down, that you'll let him live as a half-dragon minotaur so long as he lets you do this to him. (Truth or lie!)
>...Threaten him with torture?
>Beat him until he comes with you!
>This isn't really worth it and you don't feel like it... Put the minotaur back in his cell.
>Get another minotaur... This one is a little too resilient.
>Write-In
>>
>>830620
>Offer the minotaur a deal if he calms down, that you'll let him live as a half-dragon minotaur so long as he lets you do this to him. (Truth or lie)
May as well be honest.
>>
"Calm down! Fine, I'll offer you a deal, you let me mutate you and you get to live, got it?"

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if he takes the deal or not. Additional +2 if you can offer him a life of comfort and ease, or that escape is impossible.
>>
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>830659
You can't outrun a giant dragon.
If you run I will catch you.
You can neither run nor hide.
>>
Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>830659
If you do as I say and promise to be a law abiding person, you will have a bright future my empire of Sweden.
>>
Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>830659
>>
11+5=16

Borderline Success!

"Listen, you can't outrun a giant dragon and I will catch you, but if you promise to be a law abiding person, you may just have a future yet."

"..Fine... But if you doublecross me, I won't take kindly to it..." You nod your head, and take the big and burly minotaur to the experimentation chamber...

You begin the mutation process... Roll me a 1d20+7 to make a dragotaur.
>>
Rolled 13 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>830692
>>
File: IMG_1450.jpg (255 KB, 1920x1382)
255 KB
255 KB JPG
Rolled 7 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>830692
>Inb4 we pic related
>>
>>830710
Gonna shamelessly steal that idea for later.

Anyways, allowing a samefag.
>>
Rolled 7 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>830719
>>
Rolled 12 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>830692
>>
13+7=20

Failure!

All you end up making is a rather... Well, small half-dragon Minotaur... You do note some major differences between a normal minotaur, and a dragotaur (As you like to call them.)

A dragotaur is much more heavier and armored, and scales act like natural armor, in fact the front of the dragotaur has something similar to European plate armor, but the back is extremely weak, and has a vulnerable spine which if injured, could easily cause spine shattering or a broken back. It also has large and extreme horn developments... In addition, their herbivore tendency thanks to their blunt teeth has been replaced with razor sharp teeth, capable of denting metal with ease... A big problem however, also seems to be the weight... The traditional hoofed legs cannot really support this much weight, forcing you to increase its size... Which meant of course, the dragotaur tends to be VERY LOUD if moving, thanks to it's pure weight... You assume if you scaled it up to about the size of a normal minotaur, you would have a devastating front line trooper capable of taking more then a few bullets and more, but at the same time extremely weak to sneak attacks, and are painfully obvious...

Pros: Extremely Protective front! Razor-sharp teeth! Devastating charges and extremely powerful headbutting!
Cons: Extremely Loud, vulnerable in the back, slow, carnivore tendencie, and short! It also lacks claws!

The dragotaur happens to also be about twelve feet like a normal half-dragon.

Kryos has also requested wings, being larger, and generally being stronger and more charming! Oh, and regrowing his limb would be nice...

Actions

>...Refine it further!
>This is a good start... But now your tired... Do something else...
>...Well, you did say after you mutated the minotaur that you wouldn't kill him.... Decide his fate?
>...You need to restart your research. Get another test subject!
>...Maybe you should throw some other race's DNA in here? What could happen?
>...This will be good enough.
>Write-In
>>
>>830779
>...Well, you did say after you mutated the minotaur that you wouldn't kill him.... Decide his fate?
>...Refine it further!
Let's ask him what his name is.
>>
>>830779
>...Refine it further!
>>
You decide to refine it further, but first you ask the minotaur what his name is...

"It's Pythios."

Huh. Nice to know.

Roll me a 1d20+7 to refine.
>>
Rolled 4 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>830800
>>
Rolled 5 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>830800
I have big for Pythios.
>>
Well, allowing samefag anons.
>>
Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>830817
>>
Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>830817
>>
Geez. We're having a lot of bad rolls today.
>>
Rolled 1 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>830800
>>
6+7=13

Failure!

Your refining fails entirely... And you crack a vial. Great. Now you'll have to wait a day until you can get a new one... You sigh a little bit, and crack open a beer... This is going to be rather hard, as you put your feet on the table, taking a short break as you drink some beer...

Though you must admit, you've gotten somewhere... This of course gives you a big yawn... And you check the time... Holy shit, it's eight a clock at night...

Actions

>...Eh, call it a night with Pythios, though you've gotten far...
>...Continue! Who cares if you'll have a hangover and be exhausted in the morning? Or have a broken vial? A broken vial just means cross-contamination... Or explosions.
>...Eh, might as well drink a little and talk to Pythios.
>...Ask Pythios if there's any problems walking or anything... Just double checking.
>Write-In

>>830839
Since this one is late as fuck, I'm just going to use this for something else.
>>
>>830845
>...Ask Pythios if there's any problems walking or anything... Just double checking.
What if we start praying to a Roman god like Jupiter or possibly Vulkan to help us in our chemistry. That seems like something that would work.
>>
>>830845
>Since this one is late as fuck, I'm just going to use this for something else.

>Worry.png

>...Eh, call it a night with Pythios, though you've gotten far...
>>
"So, Pythios... Any problems walking?"

"My legs feel a little weak... And my feet are huge..."

"Yeah, you'll be fine. Anyways, I'm getting some sleep. I'll take you back to your cell..."

You escort him back, and head to bed... You see Chrysoula's still sleeping in the library... And you hear arguing upstairs....

Goddamn it, your wives are at it again...

Actions

>Nope. Nope. Just go back into your laboratory and drink enough beer to pass out. You are sleeping ALONE tonight.
>...Fuck it, go upstairs.. You'll deal with your wife.
>Go to Chrysoula instead. You did win that bet...
>Write-In
>>
>>830864
>Go to Chrysoula instead. You did win that bet...
>>
>>830864
>Go to Chrysoula instead. You did win that bet...
>>
You go into the library, and knock on the door frame.

"Chrysoula?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"[/re]d

"Well, I don't blame you. Close the door though so we don't hear the arguing."

"Yeah." You close the door behind you... And you kind of see there's only really a sofa with Chrysoula on it, and another sofa next to it. So of course, you move them together, and crawl in to kind of try to sleep next to Chrysoula.

"Hey Ren..." She puts the book down to the side and you get comfortable...

Actions

>...Sh... Only sleep...
>Why do my wives argue so much, damn it... Are they usually like this?
>Hug her tightly?
>So... I'm curious... Would you like another mutagen soon?
>...Feel like talking tonight?
>What book are you reading?
>Feel like tumbling?
>Write-In
>>
>>830882
>What book are you reading?
>Feel like tumbling?
>>
>>830882
>What book are you reading?
>Feel like tumbling?
Time for the victory lap.
>>
"Mind if I ask what book your reading?"

"It's a book on astrology... It's quite interesting."

"Huh... Say, feel like tumbling?"

"Ren, I'm kind of busy... And also because I don't want to destroy your library."

"Right... Me tumbling you is basically me trying to ride a bull..."

"Well, I'm just ticklish..."

"Sure you are..."

"Yeah... Also because Flames and I haven't tumbled for a while, and I just feel like it would be kind of rude if I gave you priority over him."

Suck it, guess she prefers me over you.

Actions

>What are you, gay Flames?
>...Come on, please Chrysoula?
>...Listen, if your ticklish I'll just let you be on top, ok?
>...But that's part of the fun. I like accidentally breaking things...
>Oh... Well... I'll just sleep upstairs then.
>Come on, me and you... It's way more exciting then Flames....
>Will you tumble me if Flame's head is involved?
>Write-In
>>
>>830906
>Oh... Well... I'll just sleep upstairs then.
I feel generous today. Also I don't want to lose more books.
>>
>>830906
>Oh... Well... I'll just sleep upstairs then.
Remember Liz's Library
>>
"Oh. Well... I'll just sleep upstairs then."

"You REALLY want to deal with the two of them when they're in the middle of an argument?"

"Well..."

"You can still rest next to me, I'm just trying to read this book... Which is in Swedish, mind you..."

'Practicing?"

"A little..."

Actions

>...I mean, sleeping in an actual bed is better then sleeping on a couch put next to a couch... I'll be upstairs.
>...Your right. I'll sleep next to you while you try to read...
>...Come on, I guess you can say I'm just a little Horny...
>If I read it to you, will you tumble me?
>You know... We need our own room to tumble in... In fact, I think there's the old concubine room, which hasn't been used in a year or two...
>Why do they argue so much anyways?
>...You know, I wonder if my son Charlemagne hears these arguments. He sleeps right next door.
>Mind if I ask where's Renexizia? I haven't seen her in a while.
>Write-In
>>
>>830935
>Mind if I ask where's Renexizia? I haven't seen her in a while.
We've left Renexizia unattended.
This is bad on all the levels.
>>
>>830938
This.
>>
I think you know what I used the one for, anons.

"...Mind if I ask where's Renexizia? I haven't seen her for a while."

"...I mean, what's the worst she could be up to?"

Actions.

>...Turn on the TV. Now.
>...How long has she been missing?
>She's fiiiineeeeee.
>...Can we just cuddle for a moment of silence?
>Let's just cuddle... We'll probably find out what she's been up to in the morning...
>I feel physically sick. What do you think she's doing?
>Isn't she supposed to be a teen!?
>Write-In
>>
>>830945
>Isn't she supposed to be a teen!?
>I should also mention she caused millions of dollars in property damage when she was less then a few days old.
>...Turn on the TV. Now.
>>
>>830948
This.
>>
>>830956
Wait what do you think she's doing.
Obviously mass property damage but.
It's stupid but I feel like she got into a nations stock of nukes/radioactive material.
>>
"...Isn't she supposed to be a teen!? And she caused millions of dollars in property damage which I haven't even gotten to paying off yet..."

"What?"


"...Turn on the TV. Now."

She quickly turns on the TV, and you cycle to the local news station. It seems to be outside of Stockholm...

"And here we are, down at the Kiruna Kyrka, the moveable church, most beloved church in all of Sweden, in which a dragon has... Quote for quote, "covered in glitter, butter, and paintings" and has eaten the entire church. A few minutes earlier, we have received reports that the Thorrson family has taken a "ten million dollar loan" all spent on glitter, butter, and coffee, and that a dragon is rampaging hyperactively in the hills surrounding the city of Stockholm. Citizens are advised to stay at least... Two-hundred feet away from the hills, as the dragon is reported to be making "snow angels" and other such things, crushing powerlines, cattle, and farmland accidentally, and already Stockholm is reporting mass power failure in the farmlands. Right now, we have an eye-witness, a Karestina Thorrson on the scene, reputed to be the grandmother of this dragon."

He hands the microphone upward and you see your mom grab the microphone.

"IS THIS THING ON!?!" Your speakers very nearly blow out.

"Yes! Please be careful!"

She lowers her voice to what you assume is a whisper.

"Oh, sorry. Is this on?"

"Yes!"

"Good! You know, this all started when I found my lovely granddaughter playing alone, so I told her to play and conquer the humans... I love her cheerful spirit, it reminds me of me when I was younger, and her general eagerness to make friends..." You hear your mom sigh happily.

"Do you have anything else to report?" Yells the reporter.

"Oh, right! I just wanted to announce that anyone who lives in... Excuse me, but what country is this?"

"Sweden!"

"Ah! Sweden, is now officially my slaves! As you all may know, I accept taxes in the form of slaves, concubines, gold, gems..."

"Excuse me, but doesn't your son own this land?!" Yells the reporter.

"Oh... Wait, really?" Your mom says.

"Yes!"

She seems shocked.
"I'm terribly sorry! Where I come from, I could fly for five minutes and be in another country! Ah... Where's the nearest country not owned by my son?"

"That would be Britain, ma'am."

"Really? Great! Come on Renexizia, we're going to Britian, and I'll show you some great tips for an aspiring young dragon like yourself..." You hear your mother say and look away from the camera.

"Yay! Can we make more friends?" Says Renexizia, offscreen.

"Of course! Now, first I have to take care of something."

"Alright!"

Your mom turns her head back to the screen.

"Sweetie, if this mage is broadcasting correctly, I just wanted to say hi! Your daughter's in good hands! She's a delightful young menace." She chuckles, and leaves the screen with your daughter, flying towards Britain.

Continued!
>>
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>>830986
>Mother is taking our daughter to conquer our wives land while she's unaware after taking out a 10 million dollar loan and decimating so much valuable property
>>
With that, the TV shuts off. And the lighting. And the heating.

You also happen to hear yelling from upstairs.

"So uh... Did your mom just..."

"My mom is a bad influence, usually." You are still rather shocked.

"So uh..."

Actions

>...Fucking hug me, please.
>...Well... Should we tell Elizabeth or not?
>...Did... Did he say... Ten million dollar loan?
>...RENEXIZIA!!! Bring your hand into a fist and wave it into an air. You'll get your vengeance... Soon.
>...I think it's almost time for my mom to leave.
>...That's it. The world is doomed.
>Cry. Just cry.
>...So... How much damage do you think she did?
>...Why did I ever become Emperor?
>Write-in
>>
>>830995
>SCREAM INTERNALLY
>SCREAM EXTERNALLY
>...Fucking hug me, please.
>>
So, let's all agree to never roll a one late?

Or let me have ideas?

You scream internally and externally. And hug Chrysoula as hard as you can, and just HUG her soft fur.

"Ren? Are you alright?"

You respond with a depressing moan.

"Ren..." She hugs you tightly on the sofa as you scream into her soft fur.

Actions

>Just go to sleep... It'll be all over in the morning.
>...I want to die.
>I need to go stop this... Soon...
>...Can I have a tumble now, before I die?
>...Does Elizabeth know?
>I'm putting twenty marks that my currency will be worth nothing when the week ends...
>So, we can all agree Renexizia will destroy the world, right?
>CRY EXTERNALLY AND INTERNALLY FOREVER
>Turn your hug into a grope. You need this. Please.
>Write-In
>>
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>>831004
>I need to go stop this... Soon...
>I'm putting twenty marks that my currency will be worth nothing when the week ends...
We're going to be post WW1 Germany economy wise.
>>
"...I'm putting twenty marks that my currency will be worth nothing when the week ends."

"I'm sorry, I guess..."

"...I need to stop this. Now."

You hug Chrysoula... And bolt off. You have time for tumbling later...

Actions

>RUSH TO YOUR TREASURER TO STOP THE LOAN! Claim that your kid did it!
>...Break down and tell Elizabeth that you fucked up!
>You have no time! Fly to Britain!
>...It's over. Just go back down to Chrysoula and hug her.
>Write-In
>>
>>831010
>RUSH TO YOUR TREASURER TO STOP THE LOAN! Claim that your kid did it!
First we have to save our economy. We aren't having the youth using stacks of 100s as toy bricks.
>>
You rush to the treasurer to stop the loan! You get in, and see a very confused Temiar counting lots of money...

"We have so many shekels!"

"NO! DON'T COUNT IT INTO THE TREASURY!" You yell, and pant..

"Oy vey, what's the matter with you, goyim?"

'That's... That's a loan from my daughter!"

Temiar jumps out.

"It's anoah shoah! Don't tell me..."

"My kid got a loan of ten million dollars. Now, we need to get rid of it..."

"...I got it, I'll talk to some people and send the loan back!"

You wipe sweat off your brow... One problem avoided... But now you need to get Renexizia... Or tell Elizabeth... Or just fuck off...

"Oy vey, you were cutting it close! Two minutes until the loan was finalized!" He yells... Great.

Actions

>...Rush to get Elizabeth! You need to save Britain!
>You can save Britain by yourself! Fly, now!
>...Britain can save itself, you need to stop the power shortages here in Stockholm, and fix everything up!
>Write-In
>>
>>831020
>...Rush to get Elizabeth! You need to save Britain!
We should send Liz to try and stop them while we fix shit.
Then we can go help her.
>>
You rush to your bedroom, where you see Elizabeth wandering around, looking for a light...

"Liz!"

"Huh? What?" She looks up at you, still in her nightgown.

"We have a problem."

"What?"

Actions

>Well... Why don't you just take a detour back to Britain?
>...Renexizia's fucked shit up man! And my mom is with her! I need to save some things here, but you can still save your nation! Go!
>Kiss her!
>Can you not get mad at Renexizia?
>Soo... My mom may be invading your nation...
>This isn't my fault, ok?
>...We need to get a babysitter for Renexiza. Just saying.
>Write-In

Also, switch PoV to Elizabeth?

>Yes!
>No!
>>
>>831029
>Can you not get mad at Renexizia. I think it was my mother who gave her the idea and you know how impressionable she is.
>So mother and Renexizia may be invading your nation.
>And we may need to get her a babysitter from now on.

>Yes!
>>
"So... Don't get mad at Renexizia... But my mom may of given her the tiny, slight idea to invade your nation... And we MAY need to get her a babysitter."

"What?! She's invading my country?"

"Jusst a tiny bit. And I'll be repairing the damages here."

You sigh, deeply... God, this is a great night already, besides sleeping with the French fuck Ren eyes all the time... You leave the palace, shapeshift to your dragon form, and fly off urgently...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see how fast you arrive! Additional +2 if you can think of what Renexizia may be doing!

Also anons, I'm getting some sleep. Can we all agree that this was fucking hilarious?
>>
Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>831039
>Hilarious
I'm pretty sure my blood pressure has spiked.
I'm alternating between despair and swearing.


And she's probably wrecking our palace again.
>>
Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>831039
>>
Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>831039
Jesus Christ OP. It's like you're trying to make the most late term abortable character possible with Renexizia.
>>
I feel happy now anons.
Also, Critical Failure!

You fly there quite slowly since the wind changes course on your flight... It takes you a fucking long time to get to London, and as you arrive, seeing Renexizia taking chunks out of Big Ben as you watch... You personally are furiously angry as you see Karestina look on, mostly just observing.
Why the fuck can't Renexizious control his kids? At this point they're destroying YOUR stuff. So you land outside of the city, and see Renexizia turn to you... She seems much bigger, being a nice twenty stories tall, and looks only SLIGHTLY more mature, having gone from "childish" to "fun-loving."

"Renexizia! What the hell are you doing?"

"Hi mom! Grandmom told me you'd be happy if I conquered something for you!"

You mutter something under your breath... Goddamn it...

"...Also, the Big Ben looked tasty. But guess what? Grandmom got me a ton of glitter and butter!"

You are intensely frustrated since you realize you need to pay off the reconstruction fee to repair the Big Ben...

"Mom? Are you alright?" Renexizia looks slightly concerned.

Actions

>Renexizia, you are coming right home right now, and you are grounded until I say so, goddamn it.
>...Hug her. And tell her to stay away from Renexious's grandmom.
>Why... Why did I ever have kids...
>...Why did you have to eat the Big Ben?!
>Why the fuck are you so hungry all the goddamn time!
>...Goddamn it, take your frustration out on Karestina... She was behind this all.
>...Renexizia, next time you ever leave the house, fucking tell me.
>...Just sigh, and find a liquor store, and fast.
>Write-In
>>
>>831238
>...Hug her. And tell her to stay away from Renexious's grandmom.
Why did she have to be so stupid?
Why is common sense not a genetic trait?
>Now come home right now. And don't ever attack Britain save that for another country. Like Spain.
If she wanted to make us happy she should've attacked Spain.
>>
You.. Hug her, tightly.

"Can you stay away from your grandmother? Please?"

"Why? She's fun to be around..."

You sigh... Why does she have to be so stupid...
"Now, come home right now, and don't ever attack Britain save for that other country... Spain, for example."

"B-"

"No buts."

Karestina stomps over.

"Aren't you Renexizious's wife? Elizabeth?"

"Yes?"

"Why exactly are you not condoning this type of behavior? I want a conqueror from my grandchildren."

Actions

>If you want her to conquer stuff, stay away from Britain! Go to Africa or something...
>Stay away from my daughter, got it?
>Isn't Renexizious enough?
>Sigh... In-laws are the worst at times...
>Is common sense lacking? My daughter could get hurt or worse!
>...She's going home now, ok?
>Head to spain and attack them, not me!
>...Just growl, you are fucking tired and she's not helping.
>Write-In
>>
>>831242
>If you want her to conquer stuff, stay away from Britain! Go to Africa or something...
>Head to spain and attack them, not me!
Attack the Spaniards or the blacks.
Not the good honest British.
>>
"Listen, if you want her to conquer stuff, stay away from Britian! Go to Africa or something, or Spain!"

You hear her sigh.

"You humans, always obsessive about your own not being attacked...'

"Please?"

"Well, since you asked nicely, I'll consider it..."

She yawns a little.

"Well, I suppose I could go home to rest a little... Which way is that?"

You point her in the right direction, and you get Renexizia, and begin to prepare to leap off the ground... When you slip on something... You see that Renexizia has covered the street in... Butter. And seems to have been sliding on it. Great... You hop up in the air though, and begin to fly back home... Renexizia follows.

"Hey, mom?"

"What?" You grit out.

"Are you ok? You seem angry."

"...I'm just a little frustrated, alright?"

"Oh. Sorry mom..."

Actions

>It's not your fault. Just your grandmother's fault...
>...Let's just head home...
>...Hug her tightly?
>Renexizia... Please... Just stop destroying things. It gives me and your father a heart attack.
>You'll want to apologize to your father, Renexizia. He seems a little distraught.
>...Listen, from now on, you are not going anywhere without a babysitter, ok?
>Write-In
>>
I'm going to work anons, I'll be posting again in an hour or two.
>>
>>831250
>Renexizia... Please... Just stop destroying things. It gives me and your father a heart attack.
>>
>>831250
>Renexizia... Please... Just stop destroying things. It gives me and your father a heart attack. At least ask us if it's okay before you just go off on a rampage.
>...Hug her tightly?
>>831254
Later OP
Maybe we can teach Renexizia common sense.
>>
>>831250
>You'll want to apologize to your father, Renexizia. He seems a little distraught.
>Renexizia... Please... Just stop destroying things. It gives me and your father a heart attack.
>...Let's just head home...


I just analysed the writing of one of OP's posts and it seems that our daughter didn't take the loan, our mother did. We might need to explain to her what a loan is and how she almost ruined us.


Also we might need to ask our mother to NOT invade or attack shit without asking and to help us rebuild Big Ben... and that church that got eaten...
>>
>>831332
Great. So now we have to rebuild the Eiffel Tower, a famous church AND Big Ben. Although at least with the Eiffel Tower we let her eat it.
>>
>>831366
yep, not to mention anything else she eats while we aren't looking.
>>
>>831367
We'll we have to wait and see if she eats anything else important. Stuff like London bridge we have to replace while others not so much.
>>
>>831258
As if, anon.

"Renexizia... Please, just stop destroying things. It gives me and your father a heart attack. At least ask us if it's okay before you just go off on a rampage." You hug her tightly as you fly, squeezing her.

"Moooom... I can handle myself..."

"No, you can't. Your barely two weeks old... And your lucky I don't go on a rampage myself."

"...Oh... Your that mad?"

"Just about! Think about your poor father, and when he hears of Big Ben being half-way eaten..."

"I didn't think about that..."

Actions

>You should at least tell your father and me whenever you want to eat or do something, ok? (Try to get Renexizia more responsible!)
>Renexiza... I love you, but can you stop eating famous landmarks? That tends not to go over well... (Try to get her to stop eating things!)
>...Listen, I love you since your my daughter, but don't think for a moment that your not misbehaving.
>...Let's just go home, alright?
>If this continues, I'll make your father give you a babysitter.
>...What happened to that man who was supposed to tell me when you hatched anyways? Haroldr?
>...Renexizia... Why don't you try to get a hobby outside of eating priceless things?
>Just hug her, and fly home.
>Write-In
>>
Bumping.
>>
>>831383
>You should at least tell your father and me whenever you want to eat or do something, ok? (Try to get Renexizia more responsible!)
>Renexiza... I love you, but can you stop eating famous landmarks? That tends not to go over well... (Try to get her to stop eating things!)
>>
"Renexizia, I love you, but can you stop eating famous landmarks, and tell me and your father when you want to eat or do something, please?"

Roll me a 1d20+3. Additional +2 if you can give her a good reason or bribe her
>>
>>831442
"Lots of people, who might want to be your friends, like those buildings. Not to mention the fact me and your father have to replace them. My point is that we have to spend money, which could be spent on butter or on parties or on something WE want, replacing those buildings and you lose potential friends."
>>
Rolled 4 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>831452
Forgot my roll
>>
Allowing samefagging if you can give her more reasons
>>
>>831458
"I would hate to have to ground you, or to punish you more severely like... spanking you. Yes that seems quite severe."
>>
Rolled 12 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>831463
Sorry I keep forgetting to roll.
>>
Press F to pay respect for anon

12+5=17

Minor Success!

"Renexizia, lots of people who might want to be your friends, like those buildings. Not to mention the fact me and your father have to replace them. My point is that we have to spend money which could be spent on butter, parties, or something WE want, rather then replacing those buildings, and you losing potential friends. I would hate to ground you or to punish you more severely... Such as spanking, which is quite severe."

"Mom, it's fun and tasty... Besides, your the Queen! You can just make more money... And who cares about a few buildings..." She seems to be resisting you on this.

"Please Renexizia?"

She sighs a little bit...
"Well... I guess I can try to be more considerate mom..."

Actions

>Just try, ok? I'm tired of having headaches with you.
>Hug her. That's all you wanted.
>...Let's just get back home, alright?
>...Your still in trouble though.
>...It's not your fault, it's just Karestina's fault.
>...If you like eating buildings maybe some time I'll take you out to Spain?
>I know how hard it is to be a dragon and not exploit it, but please stop destroying everything...
>...Thank you, Renexizia.
>Are you being sassy with me, young lady?
>...I can't believe your a teen already. Why the hell does my kids grow up so fast...
>Write-In
>>
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>831442
>>
>>831477
Since I feel nice, I'm giving anons a free nat 20 to use in the future.
Also, bumping.
>>
>>831475
>Just try, ok? I'm tired of having headaches with you.
>Hug her. That's all you wanted.
>...I can't believe your a teen already. Why the hell does my kids grow up so fast...

I suspect gestation periods and growing processes are so short so that OP can keep on pumping out new character like Mikhail and Renexizia.
>>
>>831494
I blame us creating that mutagen that reduces pregnancy times greatly, it probably also causes this...
>>
>>831494
I would like actually having kids remain kids longer. Just saying.
I did a roll I fucked up on and kids grow up fast.

"Just try, ok? I'm tired of having headaches with you..." You hug her midair.

"Mom..."

"...I just can't believe your a teen already... Why do my kids grow up so fast?" You give your daughter a kiss as you continue to fly...

You also feel Karestina swoop down next to you.

"So, why do you want my granddaughter to not embrace her destructive spirit?"

Oh. Right. Renexizious's mom.

Actions

>She's doing tons of damage! And that was MY land.
>...How was Ren ever raised by a bitch like you?
>Can we just go home?
>You are not innocent either, you know! You helped and encouraged her!
>...I want you to stay away from my daughter.
>Were you like this at all when you were young? Just curious.
>Write-In
>>
>>831496
I remember that early on we tumbled and impregnated Elizabeth even before we made mutagens. Then a week later Charlemagne was born.
>>
>>831501
>She's doing tons of damage! And that was MY land.
>Were you like this at all when you were young? Just curious.
>>
>>831501
>She's doing tons of damage! And that was MY land.
>And by extension, REN'S LAND!
>She even heavily damaged a very historic structure!
>>
>>831501
>She's doing tons of damage! And that was MY land.
>You are not innocent either, you know! You helped and encouraged her!

>Write-In
"Also, I know my daughter doesn't know what a loan is. So what in the hell made you think that you could? Do you know what that would have done to us?"
>>
>>831537
Liz doesn't know about the loan, anon.

"She's doing tons of damage on my land, and Ren's land!"

"Well, I didn't know that until now. You have my apologizes, Elizabeth."

"Well, don't think your innocent either though, because you helped and encouraged her."

"So it's wrong for me to spend time with my grandchildren?"

"Well... Were you like this at all when you were young?"

"No. I was a little less friendly and kind. But just as playful, honestly."

Actions

>Well... I hope she grows out of this.
>You'll have to repay me for damages, I don't want an apology.
>...Thank you for apologizing at least, Karestina.
>If you want to make your grandchildren ravernous and barbaric raiders, sure!
>...Listen, if you want to spend time with my children, ask me at least.
>...Well... What exactly were you like as a kid?
>Why don't we talk about something else besides my child.
>So, from what I remember, you didn't raise Ren... You left him alone. Why exactly are you here anyways? And what's with the maternal act around him?
>Write-In
>>
>>831602
>Well... I hope she grows out of this.
>...Thank you for apologizing at least, Karestina.
>...However if you want to spend time with my children, ask me or Ren at least.
>>
"I just hope she grows out of this... And, well... Thank you for apologizing at least, Karestina. But if you want to spend time with my children, ask me or Ren at least."

"Why would I need to ask you or Ren that I need to spend time with my grandchildren?" She seems slightly confused...

Actions

>I just want to come along to make sure you don't corr- I mean, to make sure nothing bad happens.
>Listen... If they go missing, I just want to know, ok?
>Please?
>...Good point... I won't force you to tell me, I just want you to behave well around them.
>I am my children's mother, and I request you do what I say...
>Write-In
>>
>>831641
>Write-In
"So we know where they are, so we can always contact them if need be.

Also so we can generally prepare for stuff like this or at least give you a map of where you can attack or something... general rule, in this family we attack Cuba. It's a small island nation a fair distance away but still the point stands."
>>
>>831641
>Write-In
How do family relations work with Dragons where you come from? Here a child is the primary concern of their parents. Is it different in your world?
>>
>>831648
This.
>>
"So we know where they are, so we can always contact them if need be. Also so we can prepare for stuff like this or at least give you a map of where you can attack or something... Just a general rule, Ren loves attacking Cuba. So maybe you should do that?"

"Well, I suppose I will... I myself don't have as many kids as you do, and mine are all grown."

"Huh. Mind if I ask how family relations work with dragons where you come from? Here, a child is the primary concern of their parents... Is it different in your world?"

"Well, a little. Most dragons resort to tumbling humans or other species... Which means there's fewer of us over the centuries. Dragons sometimes, and I mean rarely, stay together for a while, and usual this doesn't last long due to the ambitions and territorial problems that come into play... And the fact that dragon hunters tend to go after us doesn't end well."

"Dragon hunters?"

"The Draconius Vulkarius... It's an old name, and they're very well prepared. That's why I move my stronghold every few years, just in case I get a visit."

"Oh..."

"But to answer your question about children, us dragons abandon them so they grow stronger... It's one of the few cultural rites we have."

"Huh..."

"But enough about that... I love this world, it's easy to operate in and I don't have to exactly worry about if my activities are drawing the attention of the Vulkarius."

Actions

>...Who exactly are the Vulkarius?
>...So, in your world dragons are slowly dying out?
>How come you seem to be afraid of the Vulkarius?
>...Why don't we fly back home?
>...So why are you spending time with your son if your people abandon them early on in life?
>...I have a question... Are dragons typically as... Fertile as Renexizious?
>So... Who exactly is Renexizious's father? I don't remember him telling me...
>Are natural dragons more powerful then... Well, related to a normal race.
>...Do dragons have any draw backs?
>Write-in
>>
>>831663
>...So, in your world dragons are slowly dying out?
>...Why don't we fly back home?
>...I have a question... Are dragons typically as... Fertile as Renexizious?
>>
>>831663
>...So, in your world dragons are slowly dying out?
>How come you seem to be afraid of the Vulkarius?

So maybe that's why Ren's great-grandfather was half-Dwarf.
>>
"So... In your world, dragons are slowly dying out?"

"Well, yes..."

"Oh. Well... I have another question, are dragons as typically fertile as Renexizious?"

"He's... Special. I have my own concubines, but I do not have children with them mostly because I prefer them just relaxing me, rather then actually tumbling me... I've never actually heard of a dragon having more then eight children at the very most."

"Oh..."

"...No offense, but he's very... Obsessive about women. Or just a womanizer."

"...I had to marry a womanizer..." You sigh.

"Well, consider your relationship to be special. Very few dragons can stand each other."

"Good... Well... Mind if I ask why your afraid of the Vulkarius?"

"...That's a story for another day." She says to you.

You are back to being Renexizious, and you have finally, finally finished the damage control... It's about six million in damages, but you are finally done setting up emergency repairs and restoring power... Thank God.

That's when you see your mom, Elizabeth, and Renexizia come back... And your slightly relieved... Elizabeth lands in front of you, along with your mom and daughter.

"Finally did it... Now... I need rest. How's everything going?"

[red]"Decent... But uh, there's still some problems and a few houses were squished."[/red]

"I see... Well, Renexizia apologized and so did your mother..." Sighs out Elizabeth...

[red]"Great... Well... I guess some sleep could do some good for us all."[/red]

Elizabeth shrinks down, along with your mother, who before doing so, gives you a kiss on the cheek in apology...

"Dad?" Renexizia looks up at you...

[red]"Yes?"[/red]

"...Are you angry at me?" She slightly lowers her head at you.

Actions

>Are you kidding? I'm a little happy at this! Sure, you did plenty of property damage, took out a loan, and ate a church... But you had initiative, damn it.
>...You and I are in for a long talk.
>...Renexizia, I've been very lax towards you recently... But I can't be anymore. Your too kind, but way too destructive. I want it to be one or the other, damn it.
>...I can't be angry towards you, Renexizia.
>...I'm just disappointed. That's all.
>...I am a little, yes.
>Yell for her to go to her room. You'll give her a punishment for doing this.
>Was your mom being mean again?
>...Come on sweetie, I'll read a story to you, ok? You love bed-time stories.
>Just please tell me when your planning on breaking stuff, ok?
>Headpat and kiss your daughter?
>Write-In
>>
>>831690
>>...I am a little, yes.
>Headpat and kiss your daughter?
Now I'm more determined to set up a Draconic empire. Ren's family is probably being slaughtered right now.
>>
>>831700
What family?
You mean the one guy who Ren's mom doesn't want him to meet who is on good terms with the humans and thus is not in any danger?
>>
>>831709
Perhaps kin would be a more appropriate term. He could have a grand uncle or cousin right now who's being hunted.
>>
"...Truth be told, I am a little."

You headpat your daughter, and kiss her on the cheek.

"Aw... I'm sorry... I thought it was alright since Grandma said it was..."

You sigh a bit... And pat her on the back as the two of you shrink.

"...Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"...I'm sorry, ok?"

"I know you are, Renexizia."

Actions

>...I need to get some sleep, alright?
>...Grab her and give her a piggyback ride. She deserves it for disobeying you.
>...So, your growing up...
>...Why don't I read you a story before I head to bed?
>Rub her on the head...
>Hey, at least you may be getting a new record in damage soon...
>...Why don't we vent that energy later? Like raiding Cuba?
>Hey, I have a question... Have you eaten anyone or have any slaves yet?
>...I'm sorry for not really being here for the past few days, I've been busy, and probably should of gotten you to do something, ok?
>...Tomorrow, why don't we find you a hobby besides breaking things? That'll be fun, right?
>Write-In
>>
>>831725
For curious anons, Renexizia is a pre-teen...
>>
>>831725
>...Tomorrow, why don't we find you a hobby besides breaking things? That'll be fun, right?
>>
>>831725
>...Tomorrow, why don't we find you a hobby besides breaking things? That'll be fun, right?
>>
"...Tomorrow, why don't we try to find you a hobby besides breaking things? That'll be fun, right?"

"I guess..."

"Good..."

"...Can you read me a story? I remember when you did that. I kinda miss it." Renexizia says... Your gut tells you this may be the last time you do it to her, at least.

Actions

>...Consider it a no. It's your punishment, ok?
>I'll do you something better then that. I'll let you sleep safely and securely with me and your mother, alright?
>...Still haven't outgrown stories, right?
>No, It's... Well, it's nearly morning and way past your bedtime.
>Only if you give me a kiss.
>...Maybe tomorrow, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>831744
>...Still haven't outgrown stories, right?
>>
>>831744
>Only if you give me a kiss.
>>
"Still haven't outgrown stories yet, have you?"

"...No..."

"Well, alright. But only if you give me a kiss, ok?"

She gives you a kiss, and you go to her bedroom in the guest bedrooms... You tuck her into bed, tell her a nice story, and give her a nice kiss on the cheek. She seems to like it, as she falls asleep... You quickly retreat out of the girly room, and sneak a peak at the nearby guest rooms, where her "friends" are hoarded, the door locked. You note that she's apparently been playing "dress up" with them, and have been cleaning her beastmen and skaven friends, who looks... Well, very clean. For beastmen and skaven.

You close the slit in the locked door and head back to the bedroom, the morning sun beginning to come out... And judging from the lack of arguing, Frankizka and Elizabeth aren't sleeping together.

Actions

>Sleeeeeep.... Pass out on the couch.
>...Try to find Elizabeth. She's probably in bed.
>...Find Frankizka?
>...Go down to Chrysoula?
>...You know what? Shapeshift to your elven form and go to Katariina's room.
>Write-In
>>
>>831765
>Sleeeeeep.... Pass out on the couch.
>>
>>831765
>Sleeeeeep.... Pass out on the couch.
Katariina still lives in the slums right?
>>
You climb onto the couch... And fall quickly asleep.

After a few hours... Your woken up by someone shaking you.

"What..."

"Hey? Uh, could you move?" You see... Charlemagne above you.

"...In a minute..."

"Please? My wife's on the other sofa and she wants it all."

You meanwhile, are fucking exhausted.
You are suffering a -2 penalty unless you can get more sleep, this -2 penalty will remain until you sleep.
Actions

>...In a minute...
>...She can just get on me and you can just get on the other couch...
>...Crawl out of bed...
>Can you do something else?
>Try to get up... You haven't seen Charlemagne for a while.
>Write-In

>>831778
Nope! She lives in your palace.
>>
>>831785
>Can you do something else?

Whhaaaat? When did we do that?
>>
>>831799
You invited him and by extensions his mom and friend to live with you in a guest room.

"...Can you do something else..." You moan.

"Well... Dad... You can sleep in your bed, can't you?"

"...No... The couch is comfy..."

"Please dad?" He leans up to your ear.

"I don't want my wife constrict my movement and give me nearly an hour of having my arms or legs be asleep... It's enough trying to sleep with her, alright?" He whispers into your ear. It seems like he'd rather not offend his wife.

"...Why does she do that..."

"...She's clingy. It's adorable though... And it gets even worse during horror movies. I nearly choked when I took her out to see one."

Actions

>...Kinky...
>...Moan heavily.
>...Crawl out of bed to spare your son the fate of getting stuck in a little danger noodle.
>...Please just a bit longer...
>...If you can carry me to bed, sure...
>Fall asleep.
>Just sit on me then, ok?
>Write-In
>>
>>831813
>...Kinky...
>...Crawl out of bed to spare your son the fate of getting stuck in a little danger noodle.
>>
You moan "kinky" and crawl out of bed to spare your son the fate of getting stuck in a little danger noodle...

You also happen to fall asleep as soon as you hit the floor.


After a few hours, you wake back up again... It wasn't really comfortable... But it worked... You also see Charlemagne and his wife watching the television, apparently a movie called Dracula and it seems she gravitated from being on a "seperate couch" to being with him. And it seems that he moved you to another couch. How nice. Your son also has his wife curled up around him, tense.

Actions

>...How's my son and daughter-in law doing?
>Yawn.
>Watch it with them, why not?
>The two of you are lucky.
>Talk to Charlemagne?
>Write-In

I got to go really fast anons... Sorry. Be back in an hour.
>>
>>831824
>The two of you are lucky.
I'm tempted to use the nat 20 baron got us and make the perfect Minotaur mutagen. Alternatively we could save it for a massive economic gain.

Also if Katariina is living with Ren what does that mean about their relationship?
>>
"The two of you are lucky..."

"Dad? Your awake?" His wife unconstricts him and seems a little embarrassed.

"Well, yes. Was I in the middle of something?"

"No. Not at all." Says Svana.

"Yeah." You yawn and begin to get up off the bed...

"Hey, dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I erh, have a question..."

"About what?"

"...Well... I kind of heard that you legalized gay marriage... Why did you, anyways?" He seems curious, mostly. He also pauses the movie.

Actions

>...I mean, why not?
>What, do you want to kill all the gays or not?
>...Charlemagne, I think we should talk a little...
>...I mean, I know a gay person or two... So I mean, why not?
>Are you complaining about my rule or something else?
>Dislike gays at all?
>Let's talk later, I'm busy, ok?
>Write-in
>>
>>831886
Well... You'd have to ask her, sorry.
>>
>>832013
>Dislike gays at all?
>Because legalizing it let's me keep track of how many there are and makes regulating and finding them easier. It's easier to control them then destroy completely.
>>
>>832013
>Write-in
I did it for a ultidude of reasons none of which are me condoning homosexuality. Mainly because of political alliances and the fact that if I were to ban all forms of homosexuality there would be a backlash which is something I'm not sure that we can afford.

Weird how a proposal to ban all forms of homosexuality like gay clubs went to legalizing gay marriage. I guess Ren is still inconsistent af.
>>
>>832138
It seems like a better idea ultimately.
I feel like banning gay marriage is like using antibiotics too much.
Just like disease it'll only make the gays harder to deal with.
>>
"Dislike gays at all?"

"I was just curious, and no, I don't really like them."

"Well, good. Let me tell you why then. It's because legalizing it let's me keep track of how many there are and makes regulating and finding them easier. It's easier to control them and finally destroy them completely."

"...Huh, well, that's rather smart..."

"Yeah. Anyways, got anything else?"

"Well, yeah. Anyways, I erh... Sort of noticed something... What's with all the half-dragon people?"

"What?"

"Yeah... I sort of noticed there's the occasional half-dragon walking around. Mind if I ask why?"

Actions

>Well... I don't know, honestly (Lie)
>...Son, I think we need to discuss something about the future...
>I released a mutagen finally... It took me long enough.
>Haven't heard of my medicine yet?
>Oh, don't worry. You'll see a lot more of that in the future.
>Do you not like being surrounded by people similar to you?
>Write-In
>>
>>832140
If you're talking over multiple generations and leaving a large enough portion to survive yeah but say if we had a massive crackdown on gays in our country we would just get rid of them right there and now. There's also the fact that Anita is bisexual, Victor is a lolbertarian and Kryos is pro-gay.

>>832146
>...Son, I think we need to discuss something about the future...
>>
>>832146
>And finally destroy them completely
I meant
It's easier to regulate them while destroying them is much harder but now this is giving me ideas.
On obliterating the gays.
>Haven't heard of my medicine yet?
>>
>>832157
I think we should save the utter obliteration of gays till we can make a larger dent on their population world wide.
Group up as many as we can then kill them all.
And we should build up the Inquisition in case we miss some.
>>
Waiting fifteen more minutes anons.
>>
>>832168
Just wait until Burning man is a thing and San Francisco becomes fruity.
>>
>>832186
Wait if being gay is genetic maybe we can make a mutagen to make people straight?
We could cure homosexuality
>>
>>832200
Well shit. We already made a cure and could weaponize autism so I don't we why not. Although this does sound like something straight out of a cwc comic
>>
"Son, we need to talk about the future... And just curious, have you heard of my medicine yet?"

"Erh, no. Sorry."

"Oh. Well, that's what's causing it... Anyways, could you come with me?"

"Sure." He kisses Svana and follows you down into the basement.

"So, what did you want to talk about? You know, in the future?"

You turn a corner, and think you've gotten far enough underground.

Actions

>...Son... How would you like everyone you know to become a half-dragon? I'm curious.
>...I just wanted to talk to you in private...
>...So... I know your somewhat of a nazi, Charlemagne... Mind if I ask why?
>...Charlemagne... You know how I made your mother a dragon? Well, I think it's about time I made YOU a dragon...
>I was wondering when you'd have kids...
>When are you getting a second wife?
>Charlemagne... I have a question. Is it moral or not to uplift everyone to have scales?
>I want you to take care of my daughter, Renexizia. As in, babysit her.
>...Have you ever thought about space at all?
>Write-In

Just got back from the store anons.
>>
>>832342
>...Son... How would you like everyone you know to become a half-dragon? I'm curious.
>>
>>832342
>...Have you ever thought about space at all?

I'm not in favor of a majority draconic population. It's simply not feasible.
>>
>>832342
>...Son... How would you like everyone you know to become a half-dragon? I'm curious.
>...Have you ever thought about space at all?

>>832349
Okay this might be a bit of a stretch but hear me out. What if we find a way to colonize the moon or mars and populate it with a completely Draconic population. We could use it as an experiment by doing stuff like turning it into a completely Draconic environment like we did with parts of Russia among other things.
>>
>>832372
What the fuck would they have to EAT on the fucking moon?
Would we have to send massive rockets carrying unperishable food supplies for the colonists?
What happens if a rocket crashes or fails to launch? Do the colonists starve?
Would farming on the moon even be possible? Would they be able to produce enough to offset the mutagen's hunger flaw?
I just don't think it will work out.
>>
"Son, I'm curious... How would you like everyone you know to become a half-dragon? I'm curious."

"...Wait, really? How?" He seems... Interested.

"I'm not sure yet... So, you interested?"

"Well, I always thought that human flesh was a little weak and could use some fine-tuning..."

"No religious qualms?"

"...I don't think God really cares if his worshipers suddenly become reptilian."

"Huh... I wasn't actually expecting you to like this."

"Well, I don't have a problem with this, since it's improving the lives of people all over, and also because I'm a sucker for scales. The only problem I'd have is if this is forced... But even then..."

"I see."

"...Also because Hitler would be proud of us expanding the master race, eh?"

Sweet. Seems like Charlemagne is on board.

Actions

>...High five? High five.
>I wouldn't exactly call us the master race...
>Well... You aren't part of the master race. Dragons are. Your just a half-dragon, Charlemagne.
>Hug him, your so proud of him...
>...Yeah, I knew you'd like it.
>I'm just... Surprised, I guess.
>...I have another question... This time, about space.
>...Well... I mean, if you want, do you have any requests?
>I thought that Catholic religion of yours was making you weak. Nice to see it hasn't.
>...Any qualms though? I find this odd that this is perfectly acceptable.
>Want to talk about anything else, Charlemagne?
>I knew you were my favorite son for a reason.
>Write-In
>>
>>832420
>...I have another question... This time, about space.
>>
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>>832414
Don't be such a pessimist

>>832420
>...I have another question... This time, about space.
>>
>>832420
>...I have another question... This time, about space.
>>
>>832414
We should get to curing the hunger flaw.
Also I wonder if we could terraform the moon.
>>
>>832438
We do have a nat 20 hanging around. >>831492
We could use it to make a half dragon mutagen without the hunger.
>>
"Well. Good. I have another question. This time, about space..."

"What about it?"

Actions

>...Well... I plan to set up a galactic Empire. You interested?
>Eh, I may just terraform the moon...
>Well, you'll see. You'll see.
>Go into a long rant about space and a galactic empire?
>Well... I was curious if you wanted to be the first astronaut.
>Write-In
>>
>>832462
>...Well... I plan to set up a galactic Empire. You interested?
>Eh, I may just terraform the moon...
>>
"Well, I plan to set up a galactic empire, and probably terraform the moon. You interested?"

"Well, I guess... Mind if I ask why?"

You shrug your shoulders.

"Well, it seems cool. Now, I think we've... What, touched bases with everything?"

"Yeah... Listen, can I erh... I was meaning to talk to you, in private..."

"About what?"

"Well... I was curious... How did you turn my mom into a dragon?"

"...Why are you asking?"

"Well... I just wanted to know how you did it. And if the same process could be applied to me."

"Why are you asking?"

He shrugs his shoulders.

"Well... I mean, most of my brothers and sisters are dragons... And if you die, what's preventing them from trying to kill me?"

Actions

>Let me guess, you want me to mutate you into a dragon?
>I know the answer to this, and no, I'm not mutating you.
>They wouldn't kill you, Charlemagne. That's just your paranoia speaking.
>Charlemagne, I mean for all of my kids to rule when I die.
>...Your implying IF I die. I will not, Charlemagne.
>Well... I mean, if I scrounge up the money, sure.
>...Let's talk about something else...
>Write-In
>>
>>832462
>...Well... I plan to set up a galactic Empire. You interested?
>Eh, I may just terraform the moon...
We'd need the ability to go FTL or fold space time to form a galactic empire though
>>
>>832496
>Let me guess, you want me to mutate you into a dragon?
>>
>>832496
>Let me guess, you want me to mutate you into a dragon?


>>832500
Luckily we have Lorriana but I think she's busy with something else right now.
>>
>>832452
There are like 2 rolls involved when trying to make a mutagen that isn't shit.
Let's keep trying until we get a nat 20 and then use the saved 20.
>>
"Let me guess, you want me to mutate you into a dragon."

"Well, yes...I mean, there's practically no downside to having your heir be a dragon."

Actions

>...No, Charlemagne. And never ask me this again.
>No, sorry.
>No... But maybe in the future.
>When I get enough money, I'll see to it.
>Try to dissuade him?
>Sure! I was wondering when you'd ask!
>...You make me proud, Charlemagne. I'll be happy to do it.
>Write-In
>>
>>832556
>Sure! I was wondering when you'd ask!
>>
>>832556
>Sure! I was wondering when you'd ask!
It doesn't give people anger issues right?
That'd be bad.
>>
>>832589
It does anon.
>>
>>832597
Okay hold up no.
Tell him we need to remove some side effects from the mutagen before he can have it.
>>
>>832608
Unless you have 10$ Million on hand, that's a slight problem. Speaking of which, you need 20$ Million to turn someone into a dragon right now.

"Well, sure. I was wondering if you'd ask... But just saying, I need to scrounge up the money for it, and fix it a little."

"Oh. Well, got it. Thanks for agreeing, dad."

"No problem."

The two of you hug briefly...

"So, want to talk about anything else?"

Actions

>Any other romantic interests? Just curious.
>Nah, go run off and have fun with your wife. She seems to want you.
>Want to hang out soon?
>I just wanted to say that I'm proud of how far you've come, Charlemagne.
>So... When am I getting grandchildren?
>So... I was wondering if you'd be going back to Italy any time soon.
>Write-in
>>
>>832630
>So... I was wondering if you'd be going back to Italy any time soon.

What are some things we can do to make a profit? I feel like we've been in a economic drought for a while now.
>>
Well, there's plenty you could do. Be creative. Also, mostly because it's only been a month since you've gotten back home.

"Well... I was wondering when your going back to Italy."

"In maybe a month or two, dad. Svana likes being here, and I do to... Even if it can get crazy."

"Oh yeah, like last night."

"Yeah... Anyways, I have to go..."

"Yeah, see you."

Charlemagne walks off as you go up the stairs, and you go to get breakfast... And run into your dad, who seems to be

"Son?"

"Oh, hey dad. You need something?"

He puts his hand around your back.

"Hey son, how are you doing? I haven't seen you in a while!" He seems happy to see you.

Actions

>Did you want to talk?
>Hi, dad. Need something?
>Dad, I need breakfast...
>Hug him! You haven't seen him for a while.
>...So, I heard the news... You impregnated my mom again.
>So, how's my favorite dad doing?
>...I'm kind of busy, dad.
>Write-In
>>
>>832707
<write in
>fade to black
>>
>>832707
>...So, I heard the news... You impregnated my mom again.

Treasure hunting? Stealing from Africa? Inter-dimensional deity poker? Those are all the get rich quick schemes I can think of.
>>
"So... I heard the news. You impregnated my mom again."

He slaps you on the back happily.

"Yeah, I did. Your old man still has it, doesn't he?"

"I guess he does."

"Hell yeah... Anyways, how's everything going with the wives and kids? I haven't been around much."

"Really?"

"Well, I still have to take care of my cabin in the mountains, that sort of thing."

"So, been busy?"

"...Not at all, actually. I've mostly passed the time by being with your mother and kids. Anyways, I heard the news that Karestina tried to invade Britain, and I wanted to see if you needed me to calm her down or anything."

"Worried she got angry?"

"Well, no. I was wondering if you pissed her off, honestly."

Actions

>Nope... She did it for fun, I think.
>...Hey, you still have that cabin up where I was born near?
>If anything, I was pissed off... Renexizia once again destroyed a fuckton of stuff and I still have to deal with the aftermath.
>Dad... Why don't we hang out time?
>What's your honest opinion of Karestina? I'm curious.
>...Well, I mean, if you want more wives your welcome to ask...
>So, what exactly is it like sleeping next to my mom anyways?
>...I was wondering... Want to come with me to that other dimension... The D&D one, and try to find money and glory?
>So you've mostly been doing very little?
>...Hey, dad... I erh, I just wanted to mention to you that I'm not a Norse Pagan...
>Write-In
>>
>>832776
>Nope... She did it for fun, I think.
>So you've mostly been doing very little?
>>
Sorry anons, I'm going to sleep now.
>>
Fuck, still can't sleep.

"Well... I think she did it for fun. But you've been doing very little?"

"Well, yes... I haven't exactly been up to much. Anyways, I just wanted to say hi."

"Yeah... I'll see you around, ok?" The two of you hug, and you quickly walk off to get breakfast...

Actions

>...Go back to ruling...
>Finish that minotaur mutation!
>...Your treasury is very low... Think about more ways to get money...
>You've been busy, so you haven't exactly done that victory lap with Chrysoula...
>...You should see that Renexizia is alright...
>...Maybe you should talk to Jupiter and tell him your worshiping him?
>You should take care of those body bags before the blackguards decay from you not actually doing anything with them!
>Write-In
>>
>>832968
>...Maybe you should talk to Jupiter and tell him your worshiping him?
If we have any gods on our side it'll really help in stuff like economics and science.
>>
Hey, Fenrir?

Yeah?

Patch me into Jupiter.

Got it.

A few minutes go by...

Hi? Who is this? says Jupiter. He still sounds like you.

Renexizious.

Oh, hey. Why are you calling me?

Well... I'm kind o-

...Can you also happen to tell me why I've erh... I've been growing scales on my arms?

Actions

>Well, I took up worshiping you.
>Hi to you too!
>Mind if I ask why people don't worship you at all?
>Don't worry, I'm here to make Rome great again.
>...So, can you tell me why exactly you sound like me now?
>...So... Since I'm technically your only worshipper besides a handful of people... You'd be slowly turning draconic, actually.
>Muahahaha.
>Do you mind or not? Because I see you more as a "Draconic" deity rather then a mortal deity.
>Who cares if your growing scales on your arms?
>Write-In
>>
>>833056
>Well, I took up worshiping you.
>Mind if I ask why people don't worship you at all?
>>
>>833056
>Well, I took up worshiping you.
>Do you mind or not? Because I see you more as a "Draconic" deity rather then a mortal deity.

Oh boy. What if we turn the Roman pantheon into a Draconic one.
>>
Well, I took up worshiping you. But would you mind if I ask why people don't worship you?"

Ah. Well... Everyone thinks I'm a myth, really. And once Rome fell, there was almost no unified leadership... And eventually Catholicism took over... Yeah.

I see. Well, do you mind if you grow scales or not? Because I see you more as a "Draconic" deity then a regular mortal deity.

Well, I don't mind too much... But having skin on my arms would be nice.

Is it smite worthy?

I mean, no? At this rate, it would just take me twenty years to actually smite anyone... Better then thirty.

Oh.

So yeah, thanks for worshiping me. I'll try not to get in your way.

Actions

>...You know, you'll like being Draconic.
>So... Any commandments?
>So, what exactly is my boon to rulership for worshiping you?
>Yeah, I think I'd like it if you remained a wea- I mean, regular mortal.
>So... Mind if I get my family in on this worship thing?
>Let me guess, you want more followers?
>Just curious, if I want to be a god, will that conflict with you at all?
>>
>>833129
>Let me guess, you want more followers?
>So... Any commandments?
>>
>>833129
>...You know, you'll like being Draconic.
>So... Any commandments?
>>
Well, you'll like it, don't worry. So let me guess, you want more followers as your first commandment?

Commandments? Oh, well... Favors?

Yeah. Got any?

Well... I mean, more followers would be nice. So you know, I can do something besides make your realm more stable.

Right, so followers.

Erh... Well...I guess seeing Latin come back? Maybe a little Roman culture and values?

Actions

>So, you want followers... How many are we talking about?
>How many people do you want to speak Latin?
>Roman values? Well, I can see about introducing a few...
>...Hey, just curious... Why do you sound like me?
>Hey, why don't you jump in my head? Probably more fun then not doing anything.
>Are you one of those "Free Will" gods who don't really command their followers?
>Write-In
>>
>>833262
>Roman values? Well, I can see about introducing a few...
>...Hey, just curious... Why do you sound like me?
>>
>>833262
>So, you want followers... How many are we talking about?
>...Hey, just curious... Why do you sound like me?
>>
Roman values and followers? Well, sure I guess... Say, why exactly do you sound like me?

I was wondering the same thing. Why do you sound like me?

...Yeah, this is kind of strange.]

Your telling me...

Actions

>...Are we related at all?
>I think this is just a coincidence.
>Let's just move on.
>Can you change your voice at all?
>Write-In
>>
>>833311
>...Are we related at all?
>Can you change your voice at all?
How the hell would we be related to a god?
This must be another plot hook from OP
>>
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>>833311
>>...Are we related at all?

>>833330
Maybe OP is a servant of pic related
>>
So uh... Can you change your voice at all?

Erh, yes? This is just my usual tone of voice.

...We aren't related at all, are we?

That's impossible. The latest time I had a tumble with someone was three weeks ago due to some drunk bastard saying the wrong prayers to his Norse gods right before he was about to tumble his wife. I of course took advantage of that situation.

Oh. You possessed him?

If you get an opportunity, you don't let it just pass by.

Actions

>...Do you know anyone's names?
>...Three weeks? How long has it been since we last talked?
>...Let's just talk about something else.
>...Is there a SILVER of a chance that the person you tumbled was my mom?
>...How long did you possess him anyways?
>...What do victims of possess usually go through? Like, what happens to them after?
>Write In
>>
>>833384
>...Is there a SLIVER of a chance that the person you tumbled was my mom?

No.
It cant be.
>>
>>833384
>...Is there a SILVER of a chance that the person you tumbled was my mom?

I am both happy and scared at the possibility of tpsuch a thing.
>>
>>833412
Now we have to punch the shit out of Jupiter.
>>
>>833416
But I like Jupiter.
>>
>>833420
Yeah but he technically cucked our dad and tumbled our mother.
At this point a right hook to his jaw is a must
>>
>>833425
I guess you're right. Although it might be a little bit hard to beat the shit out of a guy who's on another plan of existence.
>>
>>833434
We'll get there eventually.
And then we deck him.
>>
Is there a SILVER of a chance that the person you tumbled was my mom?

Of course not, Your what, three mortal years old? You'd be a baby and unable to think.

I'm not a baby. I'm talking to you, and I'm three years old.

How the fuck would that even work though? Technically speaking the kid wouldn't even be mine. Not my body.

Actions

>...Then why do I sound like you?
>So you probably cucked my dad?
>Was there scales involved at all?
>...Are you lustful at all?
>Oh thank god, I'd hate to be related to you.
>I will fucking deck you for even suggesting you cucked my dad and fucked my mom.
>...Did you at least get ME anything for my birthday?!
>Write-In
>>
>>833480
>...Then why do I sound like you?
>...Are you lustful at all?
Being related to a God isn't all that bad. Just saying.
>>
>>833480
>So you probably cucked my dad?
>Was there scales involved at all?
>I want to deck you so bad.
>>
Are you lustful at all?

Well, I never turn women down, if that's what your saying.

...Why do I sound like you though?

Maybe you have a cold?

I don't.

Listen, I don't know why you sound like me, ok?

Well... Was there scales involved?

...Fuck, I don't remember. I don't think so.

Actions

>...I think I'm related to you.
>...Good. Because I remember my dad saying my mom was unable to shapeshift, so there COULDN'T be any scales!
>I'm just going now.
>...You cucked my dad, and he's fucking cool!
>So... Does this make YOU my dad or not?
>Yeah, we aren't related...
>Hey uh, I'm having connection issues...
>Write-In
>>
>>833588
>...I think I'm related to you.
>>
>>833588
>...I think I'm related to you.
>Write-In
In aes I have to leave soon, can you tell me how other gods are reacting to the scales?
>>
>>833608
case*
>>
Well... I mean, I think I'm related to you.

...Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Juno is going to be pissed... You hear him sigh a little...

Juno?

Listen... Going out on a limb, if this is true... Well, we're... Semi-related. And that'll piss Juno the fuck off if she hears about this. I've been on shaky ground with her for the past two-hundred years, ok? And this is not helping.

I see.

So... Listen, I kind of lied. I knew I had a kid around three years ago, and I sort of suspected. I just... Well, I was hoping that you weren't it.

I see...

Anyways... A few weeks ago, you should of gotten my first present... It's a letter of citizenship... I didn't really think I tumbled a dragon... So I apologize for it coming during your adult life and nothing cool.

Well I thought it's cool.

]Thanks... So, I'll cut you a deal. You don't mention a word of this to Juno, and I'll... Well... Fuck... Well... I'll try to spend some time with you, in case you want to.

Time?

I guess... By my name, I do stupid things sometimes...

You do, honestly.

I guess I'm trying to apologize for not really being there.

Actions

>...I want a little more then just being with my co-dad.
>...So, I technically have two dads. Great.
>This is going to be awkward.
>...Well... I mean, I guess we could hang out. I don't see why not.
>...Let's hang out. And I totally won't fucking punch you.
>...Listen, thanks, but I don't even want to be around you.
>...Juno deserves to know.
>...Now I know how to be the bastard child... Great.
>...So, what does that make us? Am I your bastard son or something?
>...Your a fucking douchebag.
>...Well... I mean, we can try.
>So this is where I get my lust from...
>Write-In
>>
>>833651
>This is going to be awkward.
>...Well... I mean, I guess we could hang out. I don't see why not.
>...So, what does that make us? Am I your bastard son or something?
>So this is where I get my lust from...
OP has made a Canon reason for why we tumble so many woman.
>>
>>833651
>This is going to be awkward.
>So this is where I get my lust from...
That explains a lot.

>>833662
I feel like OP came up with this a while ago and he's just been waiting to present it. It was discovered that Ren and Jupiter surged the same voice ever since we contacted him in like thread 22 or something.
>>
>>833682
But anons just dropped that shit so fast.
I feel like we've done it with other hooks as well.
I wonder what we've ignored.
>>
>>833693
iirc Karesteina told Ren that she would show him his grandfather or something either the first or second time they reunited. I don't think we've met him at all. Which is why I'm afraid dragon hunters got him or something
>>
>>833693
A lot, actually.

So. This is where I get my lust from.

Yeah... Family tradition. Technically I'm married to my sister, so your more lucky then me in options.

Huh. So... Am I your bastard son or something?

I mean, not really...

We kind of are though.

...Fine, we're slightly related. But bastard will do, I guess.

Well, I guess we can. This is going to be awkward.

Yeah... Same. Well... I guess if you want, the two of us can hang out. And I can just teleport you here, where I am.

Actions

>...Yeah, well... I guess we can.
>Nah... I'd rather not. Thanks.
>Start calling him dad?
>I wish I was related to the norse gods...
>You don't have to, you know.
>...Wait, where do you live?
>Just saying, I'd never marry my sister. Disgusting.
>Write-In
>>
>>833728
>...Yeah, well... I guess we can.
>...Wait, where do you live?
Why did Jupiter marry his sister?
Then again the Greek gods are also technically incest central aren't they?
>>
>>833728
>...Yeah, well... I guess we can.
>...Wait, where do you live?

>>833743
Roman mythology is so weird. At first it just looks like a copy paste of Greek mythology and while they do share a lot of similarities there's a degree of Roman originality that survived the Hellenization of Rome.
>>
Well, yeah. I guess we can. Where do you live?

...Well... I just hope you don't have a fear of heights.

You feel your body suddenly shift location from the breakfast table to... Holy shit, your in the fucking clouds an-

"Uh, hey.

You turn around to see a very large and imposing man with a civic crown of leaves... He towers over you, a giant wearing a large toga and having a large beard.

"So... Hi?"

You note your in your dragon form... And yet you still feel tiny by him. He lowers to his size to instead of being four times larger then you to a mere twice.

"So... I erh... Welcome to Mount Olympus."

"Cool!" Yells Flames. It seems he and Solaire has come along.

Hey uh... What's with the three heads, kiddo?

Actions

>Why the fuck are we on Mount Olympus? That's greek territory!
>This is Flames and Solaire.
>...They're also your bastard kids, technically.
>What's wrong with three heads?
>...Get down here, I'll fuck you up!
>Why are you so bigger then me?
>Write-in
>>
>>833781
>This is Flames and Solaire.
>I mutated extra heads and decided to give them personalities and shit.
>Why are you so bigger then me?
>>
>>833781
>Why the fuck are we on Mount Olympus? That's greek territory!
>I mutated extra heads and decided to give them personalities and shit.
>Why are you so bigger then me?

Ren is technically a Hydra now. Which reminds me, we forgot about that Hydra Hermes told us about near Malta.
>>
>>833800
I remembered that.
I just thought we had more pressing concerns
>>
>>833807
Yeah. Also what would we even do with the Hydra? Hermes said it was female but we already have 3 ,possibly 4, maybe exceeding 8 wives.
>>
>>833836
Make bastard children?
It seems to be something we're good at and iirc dragons are apparently bad at extended relationships with other dragons at least
>>
>>833854
If anything we should just make friends with the Hydra. Maybe give her the position of head of the navy in to ur cabinet like how we did with Lorianna as head of science.
>>
"This is Flames and Solaire, and I mutated extra heads and gave them personalities and shit. So, why are you so much bigger then me, and why the fuck are we on Mount Olympus?"

"Well... My cousin, Zeus is giving me some place to stay while we build up..."

"Oh."

"And I'm a God. Of course I'm big... So... Why don't we find a place to sit down at?" He snaps his... Clawed hand. It seems that his left hand has scales and is very slowly growing more scales, along with growing longer claws. Huh.

The environment changes from his snap to a fancy American diner... And the two of you go inside. It seems well populated by men in Hoplite armor, and most guys say hi to Jupiter and ignore you... You take a seat as a satyr comes up to you to take your order.

"I'll ha-"

"He and his heads wants ambrosia. Trust me, it's great. Can you make it Zeus Style?

The Satyr nods and goes to the kitchen as you sit infront of the towering giant that is Jupiter.

"What's Ambrosia?"

"Food of the Gods. Now, we'll see if we're actually related or not. If any regular mortal eats this stuff, instantly dead."

"...Oh."

"Of course, things like... This, has happened before. So you should be fine so long as your telling the truth."

Actions

>...I erh, how about no?
>...What's Zeus Style?
>So is everyone in here greek heroes?
>...Are you too poor to afford your own place?
>...Any woman in here?
>So... Am I supposed to call you dad at all?
>Sounds tasty.
>...So... What do we talk about?
>Write-In
>>
>>833884
>...What's Zeus Style?
>So is everyone in here greek heroes?
>...Any woman in here?
>>
>>833884
>...What's Zeus Style?
>...Are you too poor to afford your own place?
At least if we fail at the salad challenge we'll be rid of and detached from Flames. We'll have Chrysoula all to ourselves in the afterlife.
>>
Chrysoula waifu seems to be best waifu now.

At this point I'm waiting for a HAPPENING where a waifu war happens between anons.

"So, what's Zeus Style?"

"...It's salad. But first... Take this."

He hands you a bottle... Of Caesar Salad Dressing.

"...Thanks?"

"It's the only way to make the Greek's food edible."

"Oh. So... Is everyone in here Greek heroes?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Assholes. Needs more romans."

"Huh. Any women in here?"

He laughs a little.

"That's my boy... Ah, reminds me of when I was younger. Anyways, your getting laid, right boy? I'd hate for my godly genes to have a kid who can't get laid.

"Seriously?"

"Nah."

"Well... First, are you too poor to afford your own place?"

"Of course not... I haven't been stuck here for nearly four-hundred years."

"You have, haven't you?"

He looks down, sadly
"Yeah... I got kicked out of my place. Anyways... How's everything going relationship wise?

Actions

>Amazing. I'm getting more pussy then you.
>Decent... Some arguments.
>Well, I was finally redpilled to relationships... Polygamy is best gamy.
>...Would you care if I was slightly in love with a minotaur? Just curious.
>...Well, soon after this I might be going to get some more pussy, this time underwater.
>...Well, let's just say I can grab a woman by the pussy, and ten out of ten times they'll tumble me. Well, only Frankizka...
>I have lots of kids, don't worry.
>...Already worried about that?
>Write-In
>>
>>833953
>Decent... Some arguments. Mostly one wife arguing with the other.
>I have lots of kids, don't worry.
>>
>>833953
>Decent... Some arguments.
>I have lots of kids, don't worry.

Clearly Liz is best waifu. She is dragon like Ren and she queen of Britain. Very cultured and much happy time from her.
>>
>>833967
It's frankizka.
She's great in bed and doesn't have anger issues
Remove your shit taste
>>
>>833967
Now I feel like there's a Yelp! page for Renexizious's wives. So if your going to have a waifu war, just leave a yelp rating.

"Well, decent. Some arguments. But I have plenty of kids, don't worry."

"Arguments? Yeah. I know the feeling... At some point or another your wife gets pissed off or jealous. Let me guess, your seeing other women and she's jealous?"

Actions

>...Are you offering relationship advice?
>...Eh. Yeah...
>Sometimes it's like I can't control myself around women. Like somesort of other force is making ME seduce them.
>Nah...
>...Got any advice to deal with two jealous women?
>Let's order some alcohol as well now...
>I'm just getting tired of their shit sometimes , honestly.
>Can I tell you my favorite??
>Write-In
>>
>>834017
>...Got any advice to deal with two jealous women?
>I'm just getting tired of their shit sometimes , honestly.

The one offering to say our favorite is a bait choice to start a waifu war.
>>
>>833982
Call me back when Franzizka is a giant white dragoness who doesn't nearly explode whenever we tumble her.

>>834017
>...Got any advice to deal with two jealous women?
>>
"Got any advice to deal with two jealous women? I'm getting tired of their shit?"

"Well... I mean, I can't tell unless you tell me what they're like."

Roll me a 1d20 to see how on point Jupiter's advice is. Additional +2 per wife given a description of personality.
>>
Rolled 4 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>834040
That's the fun part though.
The heavy HP drop when we tumble her
>>834057
Ones a proud British Queen with anger issues and a hatred of the french she's also very cultured

The other is a somewhat moralistic vampire that is also a masochist and is somewhat laid back.
>>
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>834057
Ones the queen of a nation who is very uppity and moralistic. The other is a undead Frenchwoman or Gaul who is even more uppity and moralistic.
>>
Critical Failure

Use Barbaric?

>Yes
>No!
>Use the nat 20 for perfect waifu advice!
>>
>>834075
Yes
Not wasting our twenty on waifu advice
>>
>>834075
Use barbaric
>>
Barbaric use anons.

Roll me a 1d20 anons. Additional +2 if you can BARBARICALLY describe each woman.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>834091
I got nothing
>>
Rolled 13 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>834091
ONE IS AN UNDEAD WRETCH FROM GAUL WHO IS MORALLY SUPERIOR IN MOST OF WHAT SHE DOES.

THE OTHER IS THE QUEEN OF A BRITON TRIBE WHO DESPISES GAULS AND IS RELATIVELY CULTURED.

Sorry if I get a one.
>>
This is something else anons.

13+4=17

Borderline Success!

"One's an undead wretch from Gaul who is morally superior in almost all of what she does, whilst the other is a Queen of a Briton tribe who hates the Gauls and is relatively cultured."

"I don't blame her. I hate the Gauls myself. So basically a clash of culture?"

"A little... But also some jealous."

"Right. Well, take my advice and attempt to remedy the situation by trying to get them to join together to do something or try and force them to bond. Or maybe try to make them lesbians. I'd watch that... Or a catfight..."[/b] Your... Kind of father gets a smirk on his face.

"...Goddamn it."

"What? Well, just try son. Worst comes to worst you tumble without mercy, got it?"

"Yeah..."

"Good. A woman should always be provided for if your married to her. So that's why I choose against marrying nearly every woman."

'Right."

The satyr brings over some ambrosia, which is put out in front of you...

You take a small bite... And you have to admit...

It tastes pretty fucking great.

"This stuff tastes good."

"Well, try it with the dressing. A lot better."

You do so, and must admit, it tastes fucking amazing now.

"So... Erh... How's your mom?" He's clearly trying to not be awkward about this, but can't help but scratch the back of his neck, a universal sign of "oh god this is awkward as fuck" which you know all too well.

Actions

>She's great.
>...Well... She doesn't know that YOU tumbled her, instead of my biological dad.
>Well... She nearly tried to conquer Britain.
>Truth be told, she's a pain in my ass.
>...Still making cookies and trying to be maternal as usual.
>This is the most awkward conversation I've ever been in. Just saying.
>Let's talk about something more exciting...
>Write-In
>>
>>834202
>...Still making cookies and trying to be maternal as usual.
>Well... She nearly tried to conquer Britain.
>>
>>834202
>...Still making cookies and trying to be maternal as usual.
>Let's talk about something more exciting...

Maybe we should ask him about Chaos gods and in particular Slaanesh. One of the reason I wanted Ren to become religious again was so that hat we could counter chaos magic with stuff like purity seals.
>>
"Well, she nearly tried to conquer Britain. But she's still making cookies and trying to be maternal as usual."

"Well, that's good to hear. How close are you?"

"Close?"

"Well, I never actual met your mom, besides tumbling her."

Actions

>We're fairly close, I guess.
>...As close as two crazy dragons can be, sure.
>Not at all, really...
>If you want, I could describe her to you.
>i would do anything for her, like a good Roman.
>...So, have you heard about the underground empire of kobolds that think they're romans?
>So... Ever heard of the Chaos Gods?
>Why do you care?
>Write-In
>>
>>834219
>...As close as two crazy dragons can be, sure.
>...So, have you heard about the underground empire of kobolds that think they're romans?
>>
I'm about to pass out finally anons.

"Well... As close as two crazy dragons can be, sure. But have you heard about the underground empire of Kobolds that think they're romans?"

"Them? Yeah. I have. What did you want?" He seems... Well, oddly interested...

Actions

>Are they really Romans?
>...So, where exactly did kobolds come from?
>How does one conquer them? Just curious.
>...So, how powerful are they?
>Do any of them worship you?
>Would you accept followers from their race?
>Write-In
>>
>>834258
>...So, where exactly did kobolds come from?
>...So, how powerful are they?

Say it ain't so OP. We've only been here for 4+ hours since you tried going to bed.
>>
Tried, anon. Passing out after this post. Probably may be incoherent.

"So, where exactly did Kobolds come from?"

"Well... I watched them. They come from Saudi Arabia, actually. Back then they were... Well, cheerful idiots. Bronze age, and couldn't harm a fly, really... Mostly got by on thievery. A few centuries later they built up slowly, and gradually adopted the Roman culture they idolized... And now they're effectively Romans... Albeit small ones."

"Huh. So, how powerful are they?"

"More powerful then America... If you want, I could go in depth. But first, here's a tidbit of information... You know that nuke that went missing recently?"

"Yeah?"

"They got it. I don't have much to do besides sit and listen, and it's nice to talk about this stuff..."

"I bet..."

"Yeah... They practically have an infinite economy thanks to their gold and gem quantities, and their collectivist nature... And natural thievery, at least a few of their members have. At this point I'm surprised they haven't tried breaching to the surface."

"Huh."

Actions

>Well... I hope we get along then. I really do not want to go through an underground cavern system eating little short lizard people.
>...Do you think they'd try to go to the surface?
>...Could you maybe help me take control of their little underground empire?
>...How powerful is their empire? Give me specifics here.
>...So basically they secretly control the world's economy with gold and gems?
>Holy shit, my son was right... Lizardjews exist!
>...Well, I think they're kind of adorable. They get a guilty pleasure out of rubbing their noses for your sake...
>They're honorary dragonids.
>Sounds like my type of people.
>Write-In
>>
>>834299
>Well... I hope we get along then. I really do not want to go through an underground cavern system eating little short lizard people.
>...Could you maybe help me take control of their little underground empire?

Holy shit, Charlemagne was right... Lizardjews exist! We just hit the jackpot here. Just look at all the things Kobolds have to offer.
-YUGE under ground empire
-YUGE infrastructure
-More powerful then America
-Have a nuke
-Limitless wealth

We just found an amazing boon with this. Although we probably should restrain ourselves with the gold we would get from them.
>>
>>834318
Guess you guys found your new waifu.

Kobolds, and their shekels.
>>
>>834320
Shit at this point I'm willing to pull a Trump and arrange a political marriage with Jews for political and monetary gain. Just imagine all those shekels.
>>
I'm surprised anons don't try to make the currency gold simply to take "gold baths" when the treasury gets higher.
Then again, how many gold coins would a 58 story dragon (-6 from legs) need to bathe in in order to be at least waist high?

>>834318
By the way for anons who are thinking about suddenly attacking, this is meant to be a long term thing, as in expect it to be very hard to do for reasons that are obvious.

Also, holy shit I need to get some sleep.
>>
>>833720
It has been established multiple times that he is on good terms with the humans. Fucking hell, anon.
>>
"Well, I hope me and the kobolds get along. I don't really want to go through a underground cavern system eating little short lizard people. But could you help me take control of their empire?"

He sighs a little bit and eats some of his ambrosia. Which seems to be a Caesar Salad.

"Listen, I can't exactly do anything anymore. I'm basically a prune but in god form. And technically speaking I shouldn't even be talking to you about this."

"Oh."

"Yeah, sorry. Now, I can provide hints..."

"Please do."

"Well... Beware the one named "Pun Pun."

You get out your D&D Character Sheet and begin writing it on it.

"Right... Hm... Well... I'm terrible at this "mystic" hooey pooey, so just be really careful about their mages. Very strong...

You write this down.

"What else... Well, they're kobolds, so they have a LOT of fucking traps set up everywhere. So be careful about that. Honestly, I have no idea how they do so."

"Right... Well, do kobolds themselves have any problems?"

"A few glaring ones... Some have the intelligence of a child, and the innocence of one. And they're more common then what most kobolds like to admit. High amounts of paranoid schizophrenia... Xenophobic around literally anyone.. Yeah, I think that's it. Oh, and rubbing their noses or patting their heads effectively disables them from doing anything. They also have a huge ambition streak in their leaders, meaning civil war and strife is quite often... And they also have short lifespans, about twenty years at the least, and forty at the most."

"Huh... How do you know that?"

"I'm the... Well, homeless King of the Gods. It's in the job description that I can show my authority."

"Well, I guess I know where I like headpatting from."

"Yeah... Anyways, the kobolds are a very interesting, if usually stagnate race. Now, before I get a Cease and Desist, let's talk about something else..."

"Right..."

Actions

>...Who's this "Pun Pun?"
>So, I don't really see what the problem with Magic is. It's not really that powerful where I come from. So why are you warning me about their mages?
>...Why don't we talk about the Chaos Gods?
>Thanks for the advice...
>Could you give me a map on how far out their empire is?
>...So they're stupid, paranoid schizophrenics who are good at thievery and trapmaking who stole an empire and has splurged out majorly? This should be easy.
>So, just a question... What other underground empires are there?
>You know, I bet they're extremely protected from Chaos.
>...How "paranoid" are we talking about?
>Holy shit, Charlemagne was right again...
>So they'll be my biggest challenge yet? Cool.
>...So, I guess I got headpatting from the King of the Gods. nice to know.
>So... Am I technically a demigod or anything cool like that?
>Write-In
>>
>>834502
>...How "paranoid" are we talking about?
>Thanks for the advice...
>So... Am I technically a demigod or anything cool like that?
>>
>>834544
This
>>
"So, how paranoid are we talking about?"

"...Eh, varies. The lower class isn't paranoid that bad, but the upper class and soldiery has it pretty bad."

"Right... Thanks for the advice. Anyways, am I technically a demigod or anything cool like that?"

"I just possessed your father, and tumbled your mom. You wouldn't really have anything similar to me save for maybe personality traits. And your voice, it seems."

"Great..."

The two of you eat a little more until you feel full... From one bowl of salad? Strange.

"So, living up here with the Greek Gods?"

"...By my name, I hate it. I have to live with my cousin Zeus. He's an asshole, you know."

"Really?"

"He's my rival. And I have to live with him. Calls me a "nerd" and "shut in" because I do things BESIDES try and get women."

"Oh... Wait, you do things besides try and get women?"

"Well, that's just a nice bonus. Zeus meanwhile is a complete cunt when it comes to that sort of thing..."

"So you and Zeus don't get along because he's better at getting women then you?"

"Well, guess who's people forged an empire which didn't just collapse after it's ruler dies. He calls me a nerd for that... Fucking asshole, I tell you."

Actions

>...Well, mind if I ask what you've been doing for the past... Thousand years since you've had worshipers?
>Well, that's a good thing. There's more important things in wife then trying to look for answers in women's bussoms.
>...So among the Gods my dad's a nerd. Huh. Guess I know where I got that from as well.
>...For a King of the Gods, you are... Remarkably beta.
>So he calls you a nerd because he's jealous of your accomplishments?
>Well, let's talk about something else.
>...Well, I think Zeus is cool. No offense.
>So basically the Romans are more strict and the Greeks are more hedonistic. Nice to know.
>Could we meet him?
>Write-In
>>
>>834568
>So basically the Romans are more strict and the Greeks are more hedonistic. Nice to know.
>>...Well, mind if I ask what you've been doing for the past... Thousand years since you've had worshipers?
>>
>>834568
>So basically the Romans are more strict and the Greeks are more hedonistic. Nice to know.
>...Well, mind if I ask what you've been doing for the past... Thousand years since you've had worshipers?
Maybe we can get more ambrosia.
It actually fills Ren quickly
>>
"So basically the Romans are the more strict gods, and the Greeks more hedonistic?"

"...I suppose. Zeus enjoys carousing, while I enjoy it on occasion. Besides, their form of "greek love" is disgusting at times."

"Wha- Oh. Well... Mind if I ask what you've been doing for the past thousand years since you've had worshippers?"

"...Well, mostly trying to get a comeback. Too bad the Catholics oppressed me for centuries, not to mention it sometimes takes decades or more to get enough followers..."

"Oh. Can I have more ambrosia?"

"You sure? Too much of it can kill you since you aren't a deity."

"Well... Nevermind then."

"So. Why did you choose to worship me in the first place? Not too many people worship me... Let alone think I'm real."

Actions

>Hey, don't worry. That'll change.
>...Sorry, but my reasons are my own.
>Well, only because your my kind of dad.
>Honestly, I don't know if I am after this.
>Only because you seem decent enough.
>...I plan on making Rome Great Again,
>Write-In
>>
>>834621
>...I plan on making Rome Great Again,
I should have realized that solution was too easy.
>>
>>834621
>Hey, don't worry. That'll change.
>...I plan on making Rome Great Again,
>>
"Well, don't worry. That'll change. I plan on making Rome Great Again."

"Good, about time someone did it."

"Yeah. I get what you mean."

"So... I probably talked enough, and asked enough questions for a life time."

"I'm used to it, honestly."

"Yeah. Well... If you want, you can ask me a few questions."

Actions

>I don't really have any, though.
>...Just curious... If a god dies, what happens to their afterlife?
>So... Do you mind if I try to become a deity while spreading your religion?
>Just curious.. Let's say a mortal who's in a similar predicament wanted to be a god... Would it be easier or harder?
>So, excited about slowly becoming a dragon?
>...Ask him plenty of questions, such as "What was Julius Caesar like?"
>Any problems with polygamy, eating people, and banning homosexuals?
>Should I move my capital to Rome? I'm curious if I should or not.
>So... Want to be in my head? Gods can live there you know.
>...So, just curious... Is there any way for me to manifest your sphere of powers, like summon lightning or anything?
>So, how exactly do I please you and the other roman gods?
>...Does this make me related to other roman gods?
>Hey, just curious... What happens if I fucking punch you in the face for cucking my dad?
>So, is there anyway to eat a god? I'm just curious.
>So... Just a question, where do other roman gods live?
>Can we go somewhere else? A diner is kind of boring.
>Write-In
>>
>>834641
>So, how exactly do I please you and the other roman gods?
>...So, just curious... Is there any way for me to manifest your sphere of powers, like summon lightning or anything?
>So... Just a question, where do other roman gods live?
>>
>>834656
This
>>
"So, how exactly do I please you and other roman gods?"

"Well, celebrate, worship us, conquer for us, that sort of thing. We're less demanding of other gods, who like to proclaim themselves as the "only true religion."

"Oh... Is that a shot at the Catholics?"

"...I'm only a little pissed off at them for destroying MY empire..."

"So basically you don't care too much about other religions?"

"No, not really. Converting is fine, but us Romans and Greeks aren't too good at the "conversion" thing."

"Huh. Now... Is there any way for me to manifest your sphere of powers, like summon lightning or anything?"

"Well, if you please me enough, I might let you draw from my power a little... Smite the odd person, that sort of thing."

"Cool. Now, where do the other Roman Gods live?"

"In their spheres... Well, not the circle, I meant what they're defined. Vulkan lives in the forges, Neptune lives in the sea... Pluto lives in the Underworld, that sort of thing. Me, myself live in the clouds."

Actions

>I think it would be far easier for everyone to just live together, like Mount Olympus.
>Could I talk to any of them?
>I need to get going home soon, sorry.
>So, this has been an awkward evening...
>...Hey, is it alright that we don't tell anyone else that we're related? I mean, I might tell the odd person here or there.
>...Would you mind if I brag about being related to a god a little?
>So, if you have more followers that are draconic, would you and your family become recognized as draconic?
>...Just curious, if there's no other worshipers of you and your family... Like if I ate or killed them all, and I was your only worshiper... Could I in theory change around your doctrines and your personalities? Or what you look like, etc?
>If you want, I could set up a holiday for you.
>...So soon I'll be able to shoot lightning, lasers, fire, and ice. I'm a one dragon killing machine.
>Write-In
>>
>>834668
>So, if you have more followers that are draconic, would you and your family become recognized as draconic?
>If you want, I could set up a holiday for you.
>I need to get going home soon, sorry.

I think we've done what we wanted here. Elizabeth is probably panicking about us being in a coma or something.
>>
>>834668
>So, if you have more followers that are draconic, would you and your family become recognized as draconic?
>If you want, I could set up a holiday for you.
>I need to get going home soon, sorry.
>>
"So, if you have more followers that are draconic, would you and your family become recognized as draconic?"

"..I'd prefer to have flesh, and yes we would."

"Ah. Well... If you want, I could set up a holiday for you."

"Thanks. Sounds good, kid."

"Yeah, but I need to get home now."

"Right, right... It was... Good to talk. And just wondering, could you stop thinking of me as a dragon? Having claws on my hand feels strange."

Actions

>...You'll get used to it.
>Fine... You aren't a dragon, your a human god.
>...You kind of deserve this, honestly.
>Well, why wouldn't you want to be a dragon god instead of a human god?
>I can't promise anything, alright?
>...Come on, having claws is cool.
>Don't call me kid...
>I'll see you around.
>Just consider yourself part of the new world order, in a sense.
>If you want, you can go in my head...
>Write-In
>>
>>834641
>So... Want to be in my head? Gods can live there you know.
>Should I move my capital to Rome? I'm curious if I should or not.
>...Just curious... If a god dies, what happens to their afterlife?
>Any problems with polygamy, eating people, and banning homosexuals?
>So... Just a question, where do other roman gods live?
>So, excited about slowly becoming a dragon?
>>
>>834681
>Fine... You aren't a dragon, your a human god.
>>
>>834681
>Well I can try. I can't promise anything though
>>
>>834681
>I can't promise anything, alright?
>>
[red]"I can try, but I can't promise anything."[/red]

"Great... Well... See you around."

You blink your eyes slowly as you get up... And find your wife Elizabeth trying to shake you awake...

"Ren?! Are you alright?!"

"Ugh..."

She kisses you as you try and get up, and she kisses you on the lips in relief... You do note she's in her half-dragon form. Huh.

"You just suddenly fell over! Are you alright? No bruises, cuts, anything like that?" Elizabeth seems to be rather worried.

Actions

>I'm fine Liz...
>I missed you too!
>I should fall over randomly more often...
>...I had the strangest dream.
>...So... I erh, just had a startling revelation.
>...Grope her just a little. It's just a "nervous habit".
>Kiss her wildly (and lustfully!) as well!
>...Can you get off me?
>Write-In
>>
>>834713
>I'm fine Liz...
>...So... I erh, just had a startling revelation.
>>
>>834713
>I'm fine Liz...
>...So... I erh, just had a startling revelation.
The Romans are pretty awesome
>>
>>834713
>I'm fine Liz...
>...So... I erh, just had a startling revelation.
>>
"I'm fine Liz, come on." You try to push her off you and she hugs you.

"People don't just fall down while eating breakfast! I thought you choked!"

"I'm fine..."

"...You sure?"

"Well, yes. But I did have have a startling revelation..."

Actions

>That I love the shit out of you!
>First, tell Liz that your fine and reassure her.
>Jupiter is my semi-dad!
>Jupiter is my dad!
>The Roman Gods are fucking cool!
>I need to punch a god in his cunt mouth!
>Hug her?
>Write-In
>>
>>834745
>First, tell Liz that your fine and reassure her.
>The Roman Gods are fucking cool!

We should probably hold off on telling others about the whole 'Jupiter is kind my dad and I'm a bastard demigod' thing.
>>
>>834745
>First, tell Liz that your fine and reassure her.
>Jupiter is my semi-dad!
>The Roman Gods are fucking cool!
>>
>>834748
That is a fair concern I can do without it.
So how are we going to make rome great again?
>>
>>834748
This, we promised not to mention our relation to him, remember?
>>
>>834757
>>834758
Well we can probably tell Liz since she won't gossip about it. As to making Rome great again I can think of a few things.

-Making education reform so Latin is a necessity in education
-Building projects that are Roman
-Setting holidays dedicated to the Roman gods (we can pass this off as a cultural appreciation day to get it pass conservative Christians)
-Renaming places like Britain to Britannia
-Subdue the rebellions in Gaul/France
-Invade Germany

All except the last two are casual and subliminal things that would slowly aid the Roman gods without gathering too much attention to us being a Roman worshipper.
>>
>>834765
We could also just offer a sacrifice every so often, convert a few people and generally bring the roman gods more power that way. The culture can come later but for now we have higher priority things to do.
>>
>>834771
This works too. Another thing we could do is before Charlemagne leaves, tell him to try and renovate Roman stuff in Italy.
>>
"I'm fine Liz, don't worry... But just saying, the Roman Gods are fucking cool."

"That's nice... Are you sure you feel alright?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

She helps you up and dusts you off...

"If you fall again later, I'm taking you to a doctor, ok?"

"Alright Liz, whatever pleases you."

"Thank you. Now, I need to get Renexizia to love tea, and attend one of her tea parties with her friends."

"...Tea party?"

"Well, I came up with the idea... Now, your sure your alright?"

"Of course, Liz."

She sighs and pats you on the back.

"I'm just worried, Ren. You did fall out of your chair."

Actions

>...So... A tea party with Renexizia? That's a good idea.
>...Ha, good luck.
>...Don't forget butter.
>Mind if I come?
>Give her a kiss for caring about you?
>I got to go and work Liz, want to talk later?
>Liz... You won't believe this, but I'm the son o a god!
>Write-In
>>
>>834796
>Give her a kiss for caring about you?
>I got to go and work Liz, want to talk later?
>>
>>834796
>Give her a kiss for caring about you?
>I got to go and work Liz, want to talk later?
>>
>>834817
>Check with Lorriana how well laser research is going.
>>
>>834817
>...Try to finish that mutagen for Kryos up!
This will probably be easier and less time consuming then the Kobolds or laser research.
>>
And I misclicked epicly. Thank you, touchscreen laptop.

You give Elizabeth a kiss and tell her goodbye as you prepare to do more things...

Current Treasury: -4.5$ Million!

Actions

>Check with Lorriana how well laser research is going!
>Try to finish that mutagen for Kryos up!
>...You sort of want a hydra on staff. And have someone manage your navy for you. Head to Malta to find the hydra!
>Talk to the Kobolds?
>You need money... Maybe you can try to dig up a mountain or something...
>Maybe you should call a cabinet meeting to deal with modern issues.
>...Talk to Amaya to see if she found the furfags yet. Something tells you she has...
>You know... You feel like raiding... Raid Cuba again? Maybe with your mom. She's getting bored.
>...You need to settle your wives arguments once and for all. Try to settle it.
>You need to expand the palace...
>Head to the D&D World. You can easily find loot and gold for high prices...
>...You have a brilliant idea. Enchant items and try to sell them...
>Write-In
>>
>>834878
>...You sort of want a hydra on staff. And have someone manage your navy for you. Head to Malta to find the hydra!
Why not.
>>
>>834878
>You need money... Maybe you can try to dig up a mountain or something...
>>
You decide to do two things... Make some money, and get the hydra on staff...

So of course, you decide to head to Malta firstly... It takes you a few hours of flight as you fly over, and you even see the old pope's personal fortress's ruins... The island seems eerily calm... And warm. You know, maybe you should buy a nice lakeside property for Elizabeth and Frankizka sometime soon. You've rarely spent time at the beach...

You soar above, and begin looking for underwater caves...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to find a hydra!
>>
Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>834886
>>
Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>834886
>>
14+5=19

Good Success!

You see something moving under the water... So you shout a greeting.

"Hello?! Who's down there?"

You see a serpentine head poke up from the water, confused... A few more rather draconic heads also pop up out of the water.

"Hi? Who are you?" The largest head says... A few others are talking to each other. This is already feeling strange... The largest head also is speaking in Latin too.

"Name's Ren." You land in the water next to her.

"...Ren?" She says... Well, her biggest head, which you assume is the leader.

"Yep. Now... I hear there's a hydra in the waters. Happens to be you, right?"

"I mean... Well, yeah. How can you speak my language though? No mortal me and my heads know can speak it anymore."

"Well, I myself am a dragon."

"Really? I thought you were a myth... No offense of course!" She says, excitedly. She seems eager to talk to someone... She also seems a little shyish.

"None taken, I thought you were too!"

"Yeah. I erh, I try my best not to make a scene... I'm Lerna. Nice to meet someone who I can talk to!"

"Yeah, I bet. Do your other heads have names?"

"Do yours?"

"Well, yes. Mine are Flames and Solaire."

"Oh! You know, I saw you and I thought for a second you were a flying hydra with your heads... I have about nine heads, personally, and their names are..." She tells you this, and all her heads introduce themselves to you happily...

"Nice... You have many heads."

"They erh, get annoying at times honestly. Anyways, what is my land-cousin doing here in the ocean?"

She raises her body out of the water a little more, and you must admit, she is quite large... Almost as large as you, and she has rather nice black shiny scales and a face that spells "curiosity" and "Oh my fucking god someone who I can talk to!"

Actions.

>So... I'm here to see if you wanted to join my Empire...
>I was here because I heard of your beauty!
>Do you talk to people often? Just curious.
>I was mostly just here because I heard about a hydra, and I was curious...
>...Can you go on land?
>Are you the only one of your kind? Just curious.
>Your adorable, just saying.
>You know, you seem to be a nice girl... What are you doing in these waters?
>Well, I came for conversation.
>Mind if I ask why your a little shy?
>Write-In

Be back in a while anons.
>>
>>834925
>Mind if I ask why your a little shy?
>...Can you go on land?
>I was here because I heard of your beauty!
>So... I'm here to see if you wanted to join my Empire...
>>
"Mind if I ask why your a little shy to see me?"

"Well, I mean... I haven't met anyone who could speak my language since the humans were using little wooden boats... Which did taste better, for the record... So sorry about kind of being a little... Well, not used to talking and if I'm talking a little too much!" This is when you realize the shyiness isn't really... Well, shyiness, but rather her just not knowing what to say... Thank god your an expert in women.

"Wow... Your uh, old."

"I'm not old! I'm just... Well, I'm aged." She seems slightly offended, but quickly dismisses it... Seems like she doesn't like talking about her age, par for the course.

"Right, so can you go on land?"

"...For an hour or so. And good luck trying to go down the rivers without getting stuck or someone noticing... So I rarely go ashore. I wish I could though... I'm uh... I'm talking alot, aren't I?" She also seems to not like to dwell on this. Either because she'd love it, or she thinks it's impossible.

"Well, you talk very fast... But yes, you are."

"Sorry, I'm just not used to this..."

"It's fine, it's kind of adorable, actually."

"Thanks?" She and her heads are... Well, confused.

Actions

>You know, that's sort of sad that you can only go ashore for an hour before you asphyxiate...
>Seriously, it's adorable... Your talking so excitedly.
>Compliment her?
>Listen, you should talk a little less... Just saying.
>So, you've been alive for quite a while, I presume. Fascinating.
>Can you give me a number on how old you are?
>Hey, if you want... The two of us could swim together.
>Can you shapeshift down at all? To a human form?
>...Just saying, dragons are clearly superior to hydra.
>Write-In

Be back in a while anons.
>>
>>835009
>Seriously, it's adorable... Your talking so excitedly.
>Compliment her?
>Can you shapeshift down at all? To a human form?
>Hey, if you want... The two of us could swim together.
See you later OP
>>
"Well, can you shapeshift at all?"

"...Shapeshift? No, sorry."

"Oh... Well, I'm sorry."

"It's fine... Besides, who wants to be that small anyways?"

"Yeah... Well, your being quite adorable, talking so excitedly... If you want, the two of us could swim together."

"Really? Well, sure! I haven't had company for a while!"

Your heads seem preocuppied talking to the other heads... So you decide to compliment Lerna... Who you've decided to call Lana. Sounds easier.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to compliment quantity. Additional +3 if you can come up with a compliment!
>>
>>835009
>Seriously, it's adorable... Your talking so excitedly.
>Can you shapeshift down at all? To a human form?

So she's at least 1,500 years old give or take. How old is Lorianna again? I think she was born in medieval times.
>>
Rolled 2 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>835129
Her wet scales glisten beautifully in the light.
Like gemstones
>>
Rolled 9 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>835129
The more the merrier
>>
Allowing samefag if you can do another compliment!
>>
Rolled 2 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>835173
>And your eyes are like jewels.Absolutely breathtaking.
>>
Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>835173
Your teeth are like swords, your scales shields and eyes shining stars,
>>
9+7=16

Borderline Success!

"You know, I just wanted to say some things to you... That your wet scales glisten beautifully no doubt in the light, like gemstones, and that your eyes remind me jewels... Breathtaking. Your teeth are like the sharpest swords, your scales the finest shields, and your eyes, shining stars." You say, similar to a poem...

"Thanks. Those are some nice compliments." She seems mostly indifferent, but seems to slightly like them.

"Yeah, no problem."

The two of you swim silently in the warm Mediterranean waters...

"So, what exactly is it like on land?"

"Your curious?"

"Well, the few times I was ashore I had my head cut off... And besides, those green giants number in the thousands... Thank Neptune every year or so they reduce in number."

You fairly sure by "green giants" she means trees... Then again, she is aquatic.

Actions

>Well, the land is beautiful, spacious... And less chaotic then the ocean.
>...I think the ocean is nice.
>...Well, I feel bad that you can't exactly go ashore for more then a few minutes...
>Who needs land? The ocean's great, Lana.
>Well, this ocean is a lot better with you and me, together...
>It's alright, nothing special really.
>Well, it's a lot more varied then the ocean... It has snow, deserts, forests...
>Let's talk about something else, Lana.
>Write-In
>>
>>835248
>Well, it's a lot more varied then the ocean... It has snow, deserts, forests...
>...I think the ocean is nice.
>How would feel about being able to breathe on land?
>>
>>835248
>Well, the land is beautiful, spacious... And less chaotic then the ocean.
>...I think the ocean is nice.

So is she literally incapable of being on land for extended periods of time or are the inhabitants just usually too hostile for her? I feel like she can since crocodiles or tortoises can dwell on land and people are more accepting of giant scaly creatures now.
>>
"Well, it's a lot more varied then the ocean. It has snow, deserts, forests... A lot more spacious, and less chaotic then the ocean. But still, in a sense the ocean is nice."

"Well, I have no idea what most of those are, sorry if I sound like an idiot."

"Hey, it's fine... But just curious, can you breathe on land or are people just that hostile?"

"...Well, I at least have to be waist deep in water to breathe. But I can last for an hour before running out of air above the ocean. And the humans don't really take well to giant scaly creatures either. But they're not really a problem."

"Oh... So you can't breathe at all?"

"...No, not really. I always wanted to see the surface though, personally... I don't know about my other heads, but it seems nice. And a lot more personal space..."

Actions

>Let me tell you, it's a whole another world.
>You know, if you want, I bet I can come up with something for breathing above ground for you...
>Well, just curious... Can you breathe acid or water? I mean, mythology kind of conflicts on that.
>I can't believe people would be mean towards you. Your just too nice and beautiful to even harm.
>Well, don't worry. Humans know their proper place now.
>...So, like my heads? I like yours as well.
>You don't sound like an idiot, you just sound like someone who's never gone on an adventure.
>Well, you do sound a bit dull...
>Hey, come on. Don't call yourself stupid.
>...Have you ever wanted to be human-sized for ease of transportation? Just wondering.
>...You know, why don't you follow me back to Sweden? Humans love giant scaly creatures there, and we'll be able to talk more often.
>Well, I'd be certainly surprised if you read a book underwater.
>Just curious, do you have anywhere you stay?
>Write-In
>>
>>835300
>You don't sound like an idiot, you just sound like someone who's never gone on an adventure.
>You know, if you want, I bet I can come up with something for breathing above ground for you...
>...Have you ever wanted to be human-sized for ease of transportation? Just wondering.
Though I'm not sure it'd be good if she was a human
She'd be us times three if we were female
So much more chaos.
>>
>>835300
>Well, just curious... Can you breathe acid or water? I mean, mythology kind of conflicts on that.
>Hey, come on. Don't call yourself stupid.
There are lots of lakes in Sweden.
>>
"Well, just curious, have you ever wanted to be human size for ease of transportation?"

"What? No, I couldn't imagine being as... Squishy as they are."

"Oh. Well, how about breathing above ground?"

"How would that work?"

"Hey, you never know... But you don't sound like an idiot, Lana, you just sound like someone who's never adventured above the ocean. But don't call yourself stupid, you aren't."

"Well... I mean, I feel stupid about... Land things. If that makes sense to feel stupid about what happens on it."

"Yeah... Well, just curious, can you breathe acid or water? I mean, mythology kind of conflicts on that."

"Both. Why couldn't I?"

"Oh. Seriously?"

"Yeah... Only problem is that acid gives me heartburn. So I tend to not use it often. Anyways, what do you breathe?"

Actions

>Well, I personally breathe ice. Minty too.
>Flames here can breath fire and lava if he drinks oil, and Solaire can shoot lasers.
>Who cares who shoots what?
>Try to flirt with her a little?
>If you want to, you can come back with me to Sweden.
>So... What do you eat anyways?
>How big are you? I can't really see too far down.
>So, weren't you killed by Hercules?
>You know, you sound like a sweet girl.
>If you could go on land, what would you do?
>...Explain to her the benefits of being smaller, like a human!
>Hey... Are you the only one of your kind?
>Write-In
>>
>>835336
>Well, I personally breathe ice. Minty too.
>Flames here can breath fire and lava if he drinks oil, and Solaire can shoot lasers.
>Try to flirt with her a little?
>>
"Well, I can breathe some minty ice... Flames can breathe some fire, and maybe lava if he drinks oil, and Solaire can shoot lasers."

Roll me a 1d20+5 to flirt with her! Additional +3 if you do puns or jokes about your breath.
>>
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>835348
>>
File: 1478583242364.jpg (20 KB, 284x285)
20 KB
20 KB JPG
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>835349
Nice roll
>>835348
At this point I'm only rolling for a bit success
>>
>>835349
Nice

>>835352
Why?
>>
>>835355
Because crit successes take priority over crit failures and a double crit success would've been interesting
>>
>>834415
No no no. I was talking about Ren's OTHER grandfather as in the adorable one who has stubby legs. cut me some slack, these sessions often go on past midnight and there's a lot of text to read

>>835348
You're breath has probably set a thousand ships to the bottom of the sea.
>>
Critical Success!

"You know, I bet your breath has probably sent a thousand ships to the bottom of the sea, truly majestic for a beast like you."

She giggles slightly, clearly flattered.

"Really? Well, thanks... I mean, a million feels more like it."

You continue to flirt with her, and she seems to like it, but doesn't really know how to respond besides smiling and giggling a little. Her heads seem a little jealous as well.

"Thanks... Your breath smells minty and wonderful, and I bet it could freeze the ocean itself."

You feel happy at this compliment... Very rarely does anyone compliment you back...

Roll me a 1d20+3 for the second round. Additional +2 for jokes or compliments.
>>
Rolled 10 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>835547
You're black scales must look beautiful to hapless mariners as they sink to the bottom of the sea.
>>
Allowing samefags for compliments anons.
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>835581
Your heads are all just as beautiful as you Lana but you yourself are like the crowning star.
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>835581
>>
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>835547
>>
10+3=13

Minor Failure.

"Your black scales must look beautiful to hapless mariners as they sink to the bottom of the sea, their last sight being of your pure beautiful heads... Which are all just additions to you, a crowning star." You feel like you were a little... Well, over the top.

"...Well, thanks... Hey, why are you complimenting me? No one ever does that. Well, probably because your the only person I've talked to for a long time..." She smiles kindly. Even if your compliment fell a little short.

Actions

>Well, I just feel like being nice towards a woman.
>Because I love you?
>Well, why wouldn't someone court you?
>What's with the questions?
>Well, I feel like you need a friend.
>Truth be told, I want another member of my cabinet. And maybe another wife.
>...Hey, I was wondering... Could I have a kiss?
>Write-In
>>
>>835661
>Well, why wouldn't someone court you?
>>
>>835661
>Well, why wouldn't someone court you?
>Write-In
When was the last time someone talked to you?
>>
"Well, why wouldn't someone court you?"

"Well, I just never had anyone hit on me..."

"When was the last time someone talked to you?"

"Well... I think there was this one other hydra who said hi to me in the Atlantic... That was back when humans had funny ships which blow steam out."

So the Victorian era. Huh.

"Well, your beautiful... You know that, right?"

"Yeah... Hey, uh... I sort of need to get some sleep soon, or my heads would be complaining all day... It was nice to swim with you. And talk. Can we do this again soon?" One of her heads yawns a little bit.

"Aww..."

"I'm sorry... I'd love to continue talking, but I need to get up tomorrow."

Actions

>Mind if I sleep with you? Where do you sleep anyways?
>Oh, yeah. When I get back, the two of us are going to get along greatly.
>Kiss her?
>...Hey, I always said I'd treat a girl out for dinner. Why don't the two of us get something to eat?
>Tomorrow why don't the two of us get some food?
>Do you have a lair?
>Hey, do you hydras have slaves? Just curious.
>Hey... Why don't you come with me?
>When I get back you'll be able to go ashore... You'll love it, trust me.
>...So, is it true that if you cut off the head of a hydra they grow more heads?
>Write-In
>>
>>835687
>Oh, yeah. When I get back, the two of us are going to get along greatly.

Let's go dig up a mountain.
>>
>>835687
>Oh, yeah. When I get back, the two of us are going to get along greatly.
>>
>>835701
This.
>>
"Oh yeah... Well, when I get back, the two of us are going to get along greatly."

She says goodbye as you fly back home, and take a detour towards a mountain by Oslo...

Roll me a 1d20+4 for wealth gathered!
>>
Rolled 17 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>835732
>>
You dig out the mountain layer by layer... And get plenty of gold and gems, which you pile up and take home... You of course, think of how many coins you have as you lift the small rock of gold. (Which is about the size of a two-story house.), and as you hold onto a few gems and rubies, and a handful of diamonds...

Cash Gained: 8 Million!

Current Treasury now: 4.5 Million!

You on your way home stop by the mint and tell them to get the gold cut and minted...
Of course the Dwarven manager there asks if you want anything put on the coins... Since you haven't actually changed the currency or the symbol of the coins since you took power...

Actions

>Just tell the dwarf to get the gold melted and turned into bars and coins.
>You should probably add a symbol to the gold.
>Add a symbol to the currency?
>...Maybe you should put a few words in latin, like what the Americans do on their pennies?
>...You have a brilliant idea. Tell the dwarf for the symbol you want on the coins to be two dragons tumbling. Imagine the look on Elizabeth...
>Just put a dragon as the symbol. Easy enough.
>...You'll prove your wealthy. Order gems put into the coins. This will be the symbol of your nation!
>...Put Blondi's face on the coins. Puppy coins are best coins.
>Write-In
>>
>...You have a brilliant idea. Tell the dwarf for the symbol you want on the coins to be two dragons tumbling. Imagine the look on Elizabeth...

On the tails side

>...Put Blondi's face on the coins. Puppy coins are best coins.

Heads side

>...Maybe you should put a few words in latin, like what the Americans do on their pennies?
>>
>>835770

Add in Chrysoula and frankizka too.
>>
>>835760
>...Maybe you should put a few words in latin, like what the Americans do on their pennies?
We should really put in Roman iconography on the coins. Putting stuff like Jupiter either with images or words would help them.
>>
>>835788
I'll support this.
We need to start the indoctrination
>>
When we manage to make the internet, or even a computer.

What should we name it? Skynet? AM? SHODAN?
>>
Of course, you decide to put on the tails side you and a dragon tumbling, along with a minotaur and a human. On the heads side you put Blondi's adorable face, and put a few words in Latin, mostly a prayer to Jupiter. The manager thanks you, and you wait a few hours to take home a handful of coins... Apparently the rest will take a while...

You arrive home and shift down, slightly tired... You head to bed, and find... Frankizka waiting for you on the couch?

"Hey, Frankizka. You waiting for me?"

"...What? Monsieur, of course not... I was just waiting for a giant scaly dragon of mine to come home. I was bored."

"...Bored, eh?"

"And I needed entertainment..."

"Uh huh."

"...And I might need said scaly dragon of mine to tumble me a little."

"Ah. I'll see if he's home."{/red]

"Great, because Elizabeth's out finally to deal with some Scotish protestors..."

Actions

>Sorry... But no.
>...Does this tumbling perhaps involve the dungeon this time?
>...Sit down on the couch and hug her. And grope her slightly.
>Come on, let's have some fun, Frankizka.
>...So, want to see the newest currency in Sweden? You'll love it.
>Where's Chrysoula?
>...I like the Scottish. What's she doing?
>>
>>835820
>...Sit down on the couch and hug her. And grope her slightly.

We're just doing her a favor.
>>
>>835820
>...So, want to see the newest currency in Sweden? You'll love it.
>Come on, let's have some fun, Frankizka.
I'm concerned about something but hopefully it's nothing
>>
You sit down on the couch, and hug her.

"Nice to see you too... Anyways, want to see the newest currency in Sweden?"

You show her the head and tails, and she laughs quite heavily.

"Really? Putting you tumbling women on the back?"

"Well, yeah."

"I love it."

You grab her right where she likes it...

"But I must admit, I like this a little more."

Roll me a 1d20+7 for tumbling on the couch.
>>
>>835840
This.
>>
Rolled 11 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>835820
I feel like the imagery on the heads side was a mistake. Latin text dedicated to Jupiter next to the face of a (demonic) puppy just seems goofy and out of place.

>>835853
>>
Rolled 1 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>835853
>>
Rolled 2 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>835853
Is it wrong I'm concerned frankizka is becoming more hedonistic?
Maybe it's just me being paranoid
>>
>>835862
Don't waste the 20, anons.
>>
>>835862
Oh noes. We gots to use da 20 now
>>
Critical Failure!

Use barbaric anons?

>Yes!
>No!
>>
>>835873
>Yes!
This definitely is only going to make her hedonism worse but why the hell not?
>>
>>835873
Yes. If anything she'll probably enjoy it more.
>>
Oh, great. Barbaric Tumbling.

Roll me a 1d20+8 to tumble your wife since this is a strength roll.
>>
Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>835885
>And Slaanesh grows stronger
>>
Rolled 14 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

WITNESS ME!
>>
Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>835885
>>
14+8=22

Good Success!

You then let out a primal roar, and begin furiously tumbling her so hard, the couch breaks, and your fairly sure the cushions are eternally stained. After about thirty minutes straight of this furious and barbaric onslaught, you become more gentle... And you hear a slave peek in.

"Master? Is everything alright? I heard yelling..." You look up to see him look at you, and slowly close the door... Which takes a few seconds of him looking at the two of you...

Eventually the two of you are exhausted, and make out furiously on the ground. Hell yeah, it's good to be king.

After an hour of this, you wake up next to Frankizka, and on the floor.

"...I'm going to have to take a bath after this."

"Maybe I could help?"

She laughs a little, and rests her head on your shoulders.
"Where exactly did you get all that vigor from? Not to sound degenerate, but that was quite stimulating..."

"Oh. It's just a thing I have once in a while... Makes me angry and passionate..."

"Yeah... I can't exactly feel my legs."

"Oh. Like usual."

"Yeah... You know, maybe we should take a break from tumbling. Like a week's rest inbetween at the least?"

Actions

>Aww, your no fun...
>I was getting worried there that you were a Slaaneshian.
>...Come on, your fine the day afterwards.
>...Hug her tightly?
>...Well, there's always the gentle option.
>...Hey, if you want, next time we could remove my eyepatch.
>You know, for a Sister of Sigmar, your vows of chastity are easily broken.
>...Just saying, your paying for all this stuff.
>...I think that slave saw a little too much...
>Yeah... Maybe we should do wife and husband things, rather then "Tumblemania"
>Write-In
>>
>>835955
>Yeah... Maybe we should do wife and husband things, rather then "Tumblemania"
OP you don't think we'd honestly remove the eye patch to tumble her?
That ended so badly last time.
(Wait if we didn't use barbaric is that what you planned for the one to do?)
>>
>>835965

Nah. A one would be far worse anon.
>>
>>835955
>I was getting worried there that you were a Slaaneshian.
Burn the coach. It's seen too much.
>>
>>835968
>Far worse
Wait worse then us going on a rape rampage through the elven slums again?
What were you going to do?
>>
"I was getting worried you were a Slaaneshian for a second."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah."

"I just find this fun."

"See?"

She sighs a little.

"Yeah. Now, just curious, maybe we should do wife and husband things rather then "tumblemania?"

"The problem is that have no idea what exactly I'm supposed to do."

"Really?"

"What in the name of Sigmar am I supposed to do with you anyways?"

"Really?"

"Well, I'm pointing out that... Holy shit, I think you might be right."

"What?"

"I have been a little degenerate lately."

"Oh."

"...Yeah... Well... It's really the only thing to do honestly... Great."

She seems a little regretful now...

"Hey, come on... Why do you think that's the only thing to do?"

"Usually by now I just move on. I'm a bit of a nomad... I've sort of run out of things to do, Ren."

Actions

>...Oh. Well... If you don't have anything to do... I mean, we could do stuff together?
>...What's your hobbies?
>Oh. Well... I'm sorry there's nothing to do.
>I was joking Frankizka, I don't actually think your becoming a Slaaneshian.
>That's what I like to see. Duty and faith.
>Hug her tightly?
>Listen, there's nothing wrong with wanting a good tumble... I just think your asking for it a little too much...
>Hey, if you want, the two of us could go for dinner, see a movie... Like a date?
>...Have you actually ever been in Stockholm besides the one time I took you?
>Write-In
>>
>>835985

We become possessed and empowered by Slannesh? Then we rape all of south america?
>>
>>836006
>I was joking Frankizka, I don't actually think your becoming a Slaaneshian.
>...Oh. Well... If you don't have anything to do... I mean, we could do stuff together?
>...What's your hobbies?
>Maybe we could go see a movie? Have dinner? Like a date?
>>836008
Sea to shining sea of bastard children
>>
>>836008
We don't want anything to do with Slaanesh. We were doing stuff in the warhammer world but because we were tumbling too many people who weren't our wife's, Slaanesh was going to claim our soul and rape us for eternity.

>>836006
>...Oh. Well... If you don't have anything to do... I mean, we could do stuff together?
>...What's your hobbies?
I think she's been reading the Lord of the Rings recently.
>>
>>836022
Well we did tumble mostly our wives.
It was just we made frankizka a masochist.
And we were tumbling for hours upon days.
That's very much 'excess pleasure'
>>
>>836028
Just another reason why Liz is best waifu. She isn't a masochist closet Slaaneshian like Franzizka.
>>
"I was joking Frankizka, I don't actually think your becoming a Slaaneshian."

She seems a little pissed off... But shakes it off.

"Can you not joke about that? I know you have your Chaos friends and you worship Khorne, but I don't want my soul compromised."

"...I don't worship Khorne."

"Really? I couldn't tell that you didn't, honestly."

"...Listen, if you don't have anything to do, we could do things together. Like see a movie, have dinner... Like a date?"

"...What's a movie? Also, I can't eat normal food. I can only drink blood."

"Oh... Right."

"...And also I'd rather just stay home. I'm not really the sort of person who goes out to a tavern."

Actions

>...Right, your introverted. Forget about that.
>You are a hard woman to figure out, you know that, right?
>You didn't tell me your hobbies.
>...Are you purposely trying to get out of getting out of the house? Why?
>...Listen, if you don't have anything to do, why don't you try to become more powerful?
>You know, a candlelight dinner with some bloodwine might be good for you.
>You'll love movies... Why don't we see one?
>...Caress and hug her?
>Write-In
>>
>>836038
>You know, a candlelight dinner with some bloodwine might be good for you.
>You'll love movies... Why don't we see one?
>>836037
I blame the masochism thing on us mostly tumbling her in dragon form.
Otherwise it probably wouldn't have happened
>>
>>836038
>You'll love movies... Why don't we see one?
inb4 we watch Dracula and it triggers Franzizka

>>836050
Well there's also the fact that she's very small and a vampire. There's a good chance we would've given her a mutagen already which would've offset the masochism but then everyone would die because of her appetite.
>>
>>836062
For dragon form maybe, anon. That's the mutagen Flames ran the numbers for.

"Come on, candlelight dinner with some bloodwine might be good for you. Besides, we'll see a movie afterwards."

"...Well, I can't eat anything. So It'd basically be you eating."

Actions

>...We could do something else?
>Come on, you'll like it.
>...If you want, I could get some pasta, get some sauce, and put some blood in. You wouldn't even taste the difference.
>Are you usually this negative of new ideas?
>...Now this is why I go out with Elizabeth... Because she doesn't have a special diet...
>Hey, why don't we bring Chrysoula? The two of you are friends, and I can translate for you two... And we're all couples here, ok?
>Well.... Got anything else you'd like to do?
>Write-In
>>
>>836081
>Well.... Got anything else you'd like to do?
>>
>>836081
>how about instead after the movie we could curl up on a couch, with some wine and try to watch some TV
I assume we have TV.
>>
"Well, got anything else you'd like to do?"

"Well... No?"

"How about instead, after the movie we curl up on the couch with some wine and watch TV?"

"...The couch we broke?"

"...Obviously. I'll have for a replacement. This happens all the time."

"Really?"

"...The main culprit is my dad. He's... Very, very stocky. I can't even lift him in my dragon form, I think."

"Oh... Well, that sounds nice."

Roll me a 1d20+4 for how well this goes. Additional +2 if you can think about what a vampire waifu would like as the two of you watch a movie together and set it up for her? This stacks, and if gets past +8 becomes an autosuccess!
>>
Rolled 8 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>836110
She's also French so she'll probably like a film that has Romance and set in France.
>>
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>836110
Watching a movie that portrays vampires in a positive light.

>>836119
And this
>>
Gonna allow samefag.
>>
Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>836176
We should also prepare blood wine if we weren't going to do that already
>>
8+6=14

Borderline Failure!

You get everything set up, and go over to the French station on TV... Sadly, no vampires in france yet, and the two of you sit and watch... She seems a little disinterested though, but enjoys the highlights of French culture.

"So, you liking it?"

"Sure." She says... She seems to be half-lying as she holds your hand.

"So... Wine?"

"Maybe just a little."

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if this improves the movie or not.
>>
Rolled 12 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>836241
>>
Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>836241
>>
14+5=19

Good Success!

This... Greatly improves the mood as the two of you watch the movie, slightly buzzed...

"You know, this movie seems a lot better with some alcohol..."

"Yeah..."

"...Hey, can I have a hug? I'm kind of cold."

"Sure."

You hug her gently as the movie continues...

"...You know, this is nice with you and some wine."

Actions

>Could be better though.
>...Personally, I'm at home with a giant silo of butter and a few tanks, and screaming and yelling humans.
>I like being here too.
>...Hey... You know what would make this night more special? If you got a mutation.
>This would be better with all my wives... And if they all got along.
>You can put your head on my shoulder you know.
>Pat her on the head.
>You know, I'll never know how I was so lucky to end up with you.
>In my opinion, your my favorite wife.
>Write-In
>>
>>836356
>I like being here too.
>...Hey... You know what would make this night more special? If you got a mutation.

Friendly reminder that Liz is best waifu
>>
>>836356
>I like being here too.
>You can put your head on my shoulder you know.
>Pat her on the head.
>>836365
Friendly reminder your taste is shit
>>
"You know, I like being here too. You know what would make this night a lot more special? If you got a mutation."

"...What?"

Actions

>What? I didn't say anything.
>Would you like one?
>It's about time, I'm tired with sleeping with a human.
>You heard me right. A mutation.
>Come on, I'd love you with scales... You'd be more cute...
>You know what would fit you? Dragonblood. I like you just the way you are... Just without all those "human" problems.
>Half-Dragon. I feel generous, you know. All the scales, all of the looks, and if you want, even wings!
>...Dragon? You might have a huge thirst for blood, but that can be remedied with a blood tax...
>Write-in
>>
>>836388
>You heard me right. A mutation.
>Would you like one?
>>
>>836388
>You heard me right. A mutation.
>Would you like one?
>>
>>836365
Friendly reminder that he's right, you know.

"You heard me right. A mutation. Would you like one?"

"...No? I prefer being human..." She's a little weirded out by this.

Actions

>Come on, please? You'll love it.
>Alright. Let's just continue watching the movie.
>...You'd look good in scales, just saying.
>...Who can say to be a half dragon... AND a vampire? You'd be special...
>Oh, right. Do you want me to ask again in the future or not?
>Why would you prefer being human?
>Write-in
>>
>>836437
Wait you think Liz is best?
If so your taste is shit

>Alright. Let's just continue watching the movie.
I forget why we want to mutate frankizka.
>>
>>836437
>Alright. Let's just continue watching the movie.
Just wanted to see where she stands on this issue.

>>836451
We'll he is British. It's only natural for him to pick the British option.
>>
>>836437

>Come on, please? You'll love it.

Friendly reminder that all waifus are equal...but some are more equal than others
>>
>>836451

Because draconic master race!
>>
>>836476

Also since we've visited Warhammer. Anyone up for Exalted?

Has this been asked before?
>>
>>836483
Sorry anon, I have no fucking idea what Exalted is, though I have heard about it on /tg/
I'll check it out soon, or you can give me a description.

>>836471
Technically Scottish. I'd pick the Scottish option if there was one.


But anons, we can all agree that the most adorable character is Blondi, right?
And most disliked is Smaug.

"...Well, I think you'd like it. But let's just continue watching the movie, ok?"

She shrugs her shoulders and goes back to watching the movie, when you hear hoofs on wood... You turn around to see Chrysoula coming down the stairs.

"Hey Ren. You busy?"

"A little... I'm relaxing with Frankizka."

Frankizka waves a friendly hello, and Chrysoula comes over.

"How sweet. Do you two need anything?"

"Nah, thanks though."

She rubs you and Chrysoula on the head.

"No problem. Once your done though you might want to come with me to exercise. I plan on beating the shit out of your kid, Mikhal."

"...Really?"

"Well, not hitting him. Just beating him."

"Heh... I should make a few bets."

"Yeah. Anyways, see you around, Renexizious. I'll be kicking your son's ass."

Actions

>Go soft on him, ok?
>Get it filmed, alright?
>Why don't you watch this with us? We need a giant big fuzzball.
>Speaking of fuzzballs... Summon Blondi.
>Hey, want to hang out later?
>...Hey, I didn't rub your horns... Can you get over here?
>I'll be over shortly, don't worry Chrysoula.
>Write-In
>>
>>836502
>Get it filmed, alright?
>...Hey, I didn't rub your horns... Can you get over here?
>>
>>836502

I'll try and describe it the best I can here QM: via copypasta summary!

Exalted is a game where one of your main antagonists is Death, Creator of the Underworld. Except there's several of him, probably six or seven. Oh, and he's got 13 dread henchmen, one of whom was probably you at some point in time. Also, Hell has a personal grudge against you this time.

Magical Rome/Persia/China regularly trains and sends ninja-monks out for you personally. Ninjas specially trained in asskicking. And if that doesn't work, they keep giant color-coded gundams and suits of power armor as backups.

The Transformers have united under Unicron (who has robo-AIDS), and are invading because they have a shortage of souls.

The Jedi Council has corrupted Heaven and usurped your rightful place as the Masters of Everything - but nobody can remember them. The only reason they haven't hunted you down is that they're too busy trying to keep reality from imploding.

Your ex-wife dropped by; she's a two thousand year old shapechanging man-eating monster, interested in maybe going on a date next Thursday for dinner, followed by breeding a new race capable of rewriting the biosphere.

Your best friend from growing up -and your last life- now seeks to cover all the lands of Middle Earth in darkness, if he can just find this damn ring.

Your god has the world's biggest crack habit, and needs some serious rehab.

And yet, in theory, you think you can fix everything!

Welcome to Creation, kid! Hope you've got enough Essence!

Have Fun.
>>
>>836502
>Go soft on him, ok?

I'm gonna say that Renexizia is the most disliked character. For me at least she's the most troublesome and has caused a lot of set backs.

>>836519
Wtf
>>
>>836534
>>836519
That sounds amazing.
>>
File: MapOfDimensions.png (12 KB, 770x587)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
And a small treat for dimensional travel anons. A small map.

>>836534
Well, she's the most troublesome and almost the embodiment of Chaotic Assfag (as in, CN).

And in other unrelated news, my D&D group finally admitted I was a pretty good QM compared to the current one. I am happy now and forever.

>>836519
Yeah, I'm super fucking confused by this, sorry anon.

"Hey, go soft on him, alright? But film it for me. And can I just rub your horns really quick?"

She comes over and you stroke her horns... And she walks away. You go back to watching the movie with Frankizka, who decides to talk a little.

"So, why the hell do you ask people if they want to get mutated or not anyways?"

"Erh, what?"

"Well, I mean, why do you do it? Offer to make people like you, I guess."

Actions

>Well, dragon master race, baby.
>Eh, I feel nice sometimes and I decide to make people like me.
>Copying is the highest form of flattery, you know.
>Eh, I have autism or something, I don't know.
>Tell her your world domination plans! Muahaha!
>I don't see why not. It doesn't hurt anyone.
>Want more bloodwine?
>Write-In
>>
>>836561
What's wrong with being Chaotic Neutral?
>Well, dragon master race, baby.
>>
>>836561
>Eh, I feel nice sometimes and I decide to make people like me.
>I don't see why not. It doesn't hurt anyone.
Can someone tell me about the 2016 dimension? I wasn't here when we went there and I lack the willpower to look at the archieve.
>>
>>836586
It's exactly like modern times now.
Same tech
No magic.
History and culture is the same
And we can only be human there iirc
>>
>>836604
What did we do there?
>>
>>836604
Save Liz who is a special snowflake.

"Well, dragon master race, baby. Also, I feel nice sometimes and I decide to make people like me, and it doesn't hurt people."

"Yeah... Anyways, let's continue."

The two of you finish up the movie, and Frankizka seems a little... Intoxicated.

"You alright?"

"Yeah... Hey... Have you ever wanted to be a vampire? You'd be adorable, with little fangs... And your little feet..."
Yeah, she's drunk. And you don't have small feet... Oh, and she pokes your nose while doing so...

Actions

>Frankizka, come on. let's get you to bed.
>...Well, you for one are an adorable vampire.
>...Listen, I think we should have this conversation... No vampirism spreading, got it?
>Is that a joke?
>Sure. Why not?
>Pat her on the head and hug her until she falls asleep?
>Write-In
>>
>>836614
Triggered a Femnazi
Got accused of rape
Went to jail
Liz basically bailed us out
We went on a date
Got science books and tech from said time period.
>>
>>836640
>Pat her on the head and hug her until she falls asleep?
That is an absolutely terrible idea.
The sheer amount of blood we'd need to drink is massive.
>>
>>836640
>Pat her on the head and hug her until she falls asleep?
Although it is very morally questionable, we could use this moment to turn the tables and convince Franzizka into talking a mutagen. Although it would probably lead to a lot of trouble afterwards.
>>
You pat her on the sleep and she nuzzles up to you, hugging.

"...Yeah... Night..." She yawns... And you come up with a rather questionable idea...

Actions

>...Hey, want a mutagen?
>Just take a nap with her...
>Get off the couch. She can sleep alone.
>Write-in
>>
>>836676
>Get off the couch. She can sleep alone.
I really want to change the coinage to just Roman. Help Jupiter more and its aesthetically more pleasing.
>>
>>836697
Well, a little late, sorry.

You decide to get off the couch, and stretch... There's a few things you could do...

Actions

>Watch your son Mikhal get his ass kicked by Chrysoula!
>...Wait for Elizabeth to come home?
>Maybe you should finish that mutagen for Kryos?
>...Eh... Lorriana can't work on the internet due to lack of scientists... You wonder why. Check that out.
>See if Lorriana needs help with lasers!
>...You feel like Amaya has found where the furfags are. Go talk to her?
>Visit the Kobold Embassy in your palace to see if your citizenship papers have gotten back yet?
>Go back to ruling directly.
>...Maybe you should visit one of your kids.
>Write-In
>>
>>836676
>Get off the couch. She can sleep alone.
>>
>>836710
>Watch your son Mikhal get his ass kicked by Chrysoula!
And make sure to get pop corn and butter.
Remember that we promised we'd tell him what we did to Kat on the 0% chance he wins
>>
>>836710
>Watch your son Mikhal get his ass kicked by Chrysoula!

Damn it. Puppy coins are nothing but an aesthetic disaster. When is the next time we change what's on the coins?
>>
You decide to see Mikhal get his ass kicked. You get popcorn and butter, and rush down... And run into Mikhal, casually walking.

"Hey dad. Where are you running to?"

"Oh hey! I was going to watch you."

"Really? Huh. Well, what's with the popcorn and butter? This should only take a second."

Actions

>...Laugh hysterically. So funny...
>Come on, make the family proud, Mikhal.
>Well, while we're here... How's your mom doing?
>You know Chrysoula's a minotaur, right? And a BIG one at that. And an athlete.
>Want to make a bet?
>I 100% believe it in you.
>Write-in

>>836739
Try the next time your nation gets a fuckton of gold.
>>
>>836745
>Smug grin
>Whatever you say son.
>>
>>836745
>Whatever you say son

Are we gonna roll for the fight?
>>
"Whatever you say son."

You give him a smug grin, and take your seating in your dungeon's library.

Which for the past day has been smelling like Minotaur sweat.
Hm... Maybe you should get her a gym... An actual gym, rather then your gym.

Mikhal walks in, and notices that Chrysoula isn't exactly here.

"What, was she too pussy to show up?" He seems rather cocky... And you hear hooves coming down... And Mikhal seems intent on calling her a "coward and a pussy" for running away. He also asks for some popcorn, which you refuse since he called your wife a pussy.

Actions

>...You should warn him to stop boasting. He probably thinks Chrysoula's human.
>...Hey, Chrysoula? My son thinks your a pussy!
>Can you shout that louder Mikhal? I can't quite hear you.
>Eagerly chew on your popcorn! Mikhal is getting fucking murdered.
>Write-In
>>
>>836784
>...Hey, Chrysoula? My son thinks your a pussy!
>Eagerly chew on your popcorn! Mikhal is getting fucking murdered.
>>
You are a little pissed. So you take a bite out of your popcorn and yell down the hallway.

"HEY! CHRYSOULA! MY SON THINKS YOUR A PUSSY!"

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see how well this goes with inciting Chrysoula. Additional +4 if you can give her an example or encourage fear in your son.
>>
Rolled 16 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>836837
>Oh yeah son did I forget to mention she gave me a concussion with a single punch. That shit hurt.
>>
16+8=24

Good Success!

"Oh shit, I forgot to mention she gave me a concussion with a single punch. That shit hurt for days..."

Your son's cocky attitude lowers... And the door opens to a rather pissed off Chrysoula.

"Who said WHAT about me?!"

She is pissed off. Guess she is part bull after all..

Nice one.

Fuck you. She's not secretly a bull.

...Holy shit, Flame's a gay furry. I fucking knew it.

Chrysoula lets out a pissed off look at Mikhal, as your son seems... Very, very worried indeed.

Actions

>Come on, she won't hurt you. She doesn't bite. She punches.
>Hey, Mikhal? Why don't you try to wrestle her?
>You need to give Chrysoula a BIGGER reason to beat Mikhal. Offer her a bet?
>...Shapeshift. You must be more comfy.
>Chew popcorn comfortably!
>Yeah, my son called you a pussy. And you have my permission to punch him.
>Chrysoula, calm down...
>Did I mention she was part bull, son? That's very important.
>So... Why don't we see some push ups, Mikhal? How many can you do?
>Good luck Mikhal!
>Write-in
>>
>>836880
>Realize we forgot to grab Mead soda
Damnit. Now we can't enjoy this in maximum comfy.
>Good luck Mikhal! And have a nice fight!
>Chew popcorn comfortably!
>>
You internally sigh, as you have forgotten mead soda.

"Well, good luck Mikhal! Have a nice fight!" You chew popcorn comfortably as Chrysoula prepares to charge.

"H-hey... Nice girl... I uh, I didn't mean to uh..." Mikhal seems a little terrified... Chrysoula however, is PISSED.

Roll me a 1d20+6 for Chrysoula charging him. Additional +2 if you can shout encouragement to her!
>>
Rolled 8 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>836904
>Regular reminder that my son called you a pussy and you can definitely win this fight Chrysoula
>>
Samefag allowed, so long as more encouragement is given!
>>
Rolled 8 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>836923
>Oh and did I forget to mention he was talking shit about you before the fight even started. Something about you being a weak girl?
Now that I think about it maybe we should have had some EMTs on stamdby
>>
Rolled 11 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>836923
And if she wins we'll take her out to get more clothes
>>
Anon no
you just did the worst sin of all
offer a woman the chance to go CLOTHES SHOPPING, fucking RIP.

"Hey, regular reminder that my son called you a pussy and you can win this fight Chrysoula! Oh, and I forgot to mention he was talking shit about you before the fight even started, something about you being a weak girl? And if you win, I'll take you out for clothes!"

11+10=21 (Additional +2 from the clothes bribe!)

Amazing Success!

She charges forth angrily, and rams him with her little horns right fucking into him, sending him into a sofa, shattering it and sending cushions, covers, and wooden planks everywhere; with his flight ending with him rolling on the ground... He groans, clearly in pain. That HAD to fucking hurt. Chrysoula rushes over, her hoofs pounding and leaving visible marks in the carpet and prepares to fucking drop a elbow on your kid.
Fucking.
Brutal.

You chew your popcorn eagerly.

Roll me a 1d20+7 for ELBOW SLAMING! Additional +2 if you want to bribe or encourage her further... A -3 if you want to encourage your son!
>>
Rolled 7 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>836965
>Did I forget to mention as many pieces of clothing as you want? Oh and the closet you're getting will be a large walk in one if you win.
>>
Holy shit, I'm just allowing samefagging.
>>
Rolled 7 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>836983
This is gonna be beautiful
>>
Rolled 14 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>836983
And the final roll to see our sons fate
(Maybe he won't get BTFO)
>>
Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

14+9=23

Good Success!

You see her SLAM your son into the stone tiles, and he is... Well, he's basically crushed. He seems... Well, he moans heavily injured, and rolls over in pain as Chrysoula holds him down...

Rolling to see if your son recovers!
>>
Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

Critical Success!

Your son somehow slips out from the elbow grip,and punches her in the nose, which she grabs in pain... He also punches her right in the eye, and is beginning to overcome his fear of her... Chrysoula however, is staggered, and your son takes advantage of this... Rolling to see...
>>
9+6=15

Borderline Success!

He thwacks her right in the nose again, which begins to bleed, and kicks her in the leg... However, this only seems to make her ANGRIER, and recovers from his blows, but with a slight limp...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if she recovers! Additional +2 if you can terrify your son about what she can do, if you can bribe her (which becomes a +3), or if you can complain about her getting hit!
>>
Rolled 19 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>837027
>Remember when I mentioned she beat me in one hit? I was also wearing magical protection at the time. It couldn't stop that punch worth shit.
>>
19+7=26

Ultra Success!

"Remember when I mentioned she could beat me in one hit? I was also wearing magical protection. It couldn't stop that punch worth shit!"

"Wait, re-"

Chrysoula brings her fist back, and punches it fucking RIGHT into his face, sending teeth flying, a little blood, and sending him flying into a wall, head first... He hits it, and collapses on the ground... He is clearly in the midst of pain, fuck, he even spits out some blood, and seems to have a severe headache but tries to get back up... Chrysoula meanwhile, rushes him...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if she can fuck your son up some more. Additional +3 if you can bribe her.
>>
Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>837057
>Hey Chrysoula how does some hair care products sound? If you win we can get some with all your new clothes.

Try not to die son.
>>
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

9+8=18

Success!

"Chrysoula, how does some hair care products sound? If you win, we can get some with all your new clothes!"

You chew on your popcorn comfortably as she grabs your son, lifts him up... And brings him down into a table, breaking it with tremendous force....

Rolling to see if your son is out or not.
>>
Critical Success?!

Your son refuses to give up, and she begins to walk away... Probably intending to finish him off with a body slam, but he weakly stands up, woozy, and spits out some blood and broken teeth... And charges her?

This surprises even her as she trips down onto the ground, and he jumps onto her stomach with a loud "Oomph!" and grabs her head, and bashes it right into the stone tile a few times... She tries to headbutt him, but he ducks, and takes advantage by trying to put her arms around her in a chokehold...

It seems they're fighting until one or the other stops moving... Of course, your son is likely to lose... But still...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if she can break out of the chokehold! Additional +2 if you can shout more bribes, encouragement, or give her advice!
>>
Rolled 16 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>837084
>He's on his last legs you got this!
>>
Rolled 16, 8 = 24 (2d20)

Holy shit anons this is intense.
16+7=23

Great Success!

"Come on, he's on his last legs! You've got this!"

She grabs Mikhal by the legs and pulls him off... She begins to stand up, albit limping more and somewhat injured, and so does Mikhal...

Rolling for who gets the first punch!
>>
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

Mikhal wins!

Mikhal seems to not take no for an answer, takes a vase, and tosses it at her head. It bounces harmlessly off of her, but distracts her long enough for him to slam into her, knocking her down again! Holy fuck, this is tense! You chew your popcorn anxiously as Chrysoula tries to get out of being hit over and over again by Mikhal, who keeps throwing punches at her face...

Rolling for damage...
>>
>>837093
If mikhal wins we have to tell him we raped his mother.
I really want Chrysoula to win.
>>
9+2=11

Failure!

Mikhal however, misses a few punches and the rest are rather light, and eventually Chrysoula headbutts him off, as he struggles to stand... He's strong-willed, you'll give Mikhal that... Chrysoula however seems out of breath...

Roll me a 1d20+5! Additional +4 if you can think (as her) of inspiration!
>>
Rolled 2 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>837097
>If I win this I'll have something to wear besides fucking sweaty clothing. Plus he called me a pussy.
>>
Allowing samefagging if you can think of more inspiration. (Which I'll happily grant a +2 to if you can think of it in "ANGER MODE")
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>837100
We will get fancyconditioner and shit to wash the blood of this bastard off of us.
(he is a legit bastard after all)
>>
8+9=17

Minor Success!

You can tell she's searching deeply, and and she takes a deep breath, and throws her fist at Mikhal again...

Roll me a 1d20+6 for damage!
>>
Rolled 1 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>837109
C'mon Chrysoula you got this!
>>
Critical Failure!

Her fist flies over Mikhal's head, and he ducks beneath her, and punches her right in the lungs, sending all the oxygen out of her body... Oh shit... Chrysoula actually goes to one knee to breathe...

Roll me a 1d20+5 anons to see if she recovers! Additional +2 if you can cheer her on or discourage your son!
>>
Rolled 13 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>837114
>Remember why you've held on so long Chrysoula! You can do this!
>>
13+7=20

Success!

"Come on! Remember why you've held on for so long Chrysoula! You can do this!" You cry, as you realize your popcorn bag is now empty...

She takes a breath and nails Mikhal right in the face as soon as he was about to punch... This punch is rather light though, thanks to her lack of oxygen...

Roll me a 1d20+4! Come on anons! Finish this!
>>
Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>837123
This is so tense.
>>
Yeah anon... It went from 'Chrysoula will win!" to your son pulling a Trump Card on her.

10+4=14

Success!

Her fist sends Mikhal back a little, easily staggering and you see his nose break as the fist hits head on... He struggles to pay attention, and Chrysoula gets up, still angry, and charges him!

Roll me a 1d20+6 for a finisher! Additional +2 if you can get her more angry!
>>
Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>837133
He pulled out two crits.
That shit would change most battles.
>I think he said your horns look bad too.
>>
Rolled 2 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

9+8=17

Success!

"I think he said your horns look bad too!"

She grabs him, and slams him headfirst right into a desk, sending his head through the desk in fact, and she pulls out one of the drawers, and hits him right in the ass with it.... But she doesn't stop there... She grabs the desk, and lifts it up as best as she can... And slams it into the ground, causing it to break apart into hundreds of little wooden pieces and hurting your son quite badly...

Rolling to see if he's gonna pull a trump card.
>>
>>837151
No more Trump cards
He's done.
By Jupiter that was impressive
>>
2-2=0

Ultra Failure!

Your son tries to stand there, but gets kicked in the gut, and falls to the floor unresponsive... Your fears begin to mount... Until he turns over. He's fine. Kind of. You can see his leg is extremely broken and his hand broken all the way over here; whilst Chrysoula can't help but slump against a wall, and rest for a little bit...

So you go up to your son, and make sure he's still alive... He is, but has taken extreme, and you mean extreme injuries... Broken hand, severely broken leg, not to mention a smashed apart nose, plenty of missing teeth... And a few broken ribs... So of course, you try necrotic healing on him.

Roll me a 1d20+3 to patch your son up!
And if you want, feel free to be proud of him for lasting that fucking long.
>>
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>837160
Wew he is good at fist fighting.
That was top tier shit.
Determined as well
>>
9+3=12

Failure!

You sort of succeed at stabilizing him, and you move over to Chrysoula, who's still awake, and not as injured, but still tired. She has nothing broken, but is mostly bruised, and has a bleeding nose...

Actions

>Make sure your son is alright, call an ambulance so he can actually get medical help from a professional.
>Your son will be fine...
>Take care of Chrysoula first!
>Give her a high-five?
>Write-In
>>
>>837176
>Make sure your son is alright, call an ambulance so he can actually get medical help from a professional.
Then
>Cast necrotic healing on Chrysoula.
>>
You call an ambulance, and go over to Chrysoula... You cast necrotic healing on her...

Roll me a 1d20+5. And if you want anons, feel free to give her a hug, kiss her, or generally thank her for saving you from telling him about his mom.
>>
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>837183
Yes let's give her hugs and kisses.
She saved our asses from an awkward conversation
>>
>>837186
Well that's ridiculous.
I was literally thinking of this exact situation and how stupid it'd be for us to crit success healing Chrysoula who doesn't need it as bad but failing our severely injured son.
>>
Critical Success!

You patch her right up, most of the bruises fading away, along with any injures she had... She seems a lot better, and you give her a huge hug and a kiss.

"Thanks Chrysoula."

"Huh? Yeah..." She says, still rather weak. After a few minutes you help the paramedics to your son, and help him up into it. They say he'll be fine, and quickly leave...Chrysoula gets up, rubbing her head.

"I feel terrible... By Zeus, my head hurts... And I can't feel my stomach..."

Actions

>Well, now that's two people I know in the hospital.
>If you aren't feeling well... Neither is he.
>...I owe you so much... Fuck, I'll make sure to get you the biggest closet and the most clothes I can, alright?
>...Oh God, I have to go clothes shopping with you...
>...I uh, remind me never to call you a pussy or anything like that, ok?
>So, you think you'll be ok?
>...Kiss her for saving you again!
>...Well, both of us are probably tired... Want to get some sleep?
>Aw... Well, if you want tomorrow, I could take care of you... You did save me from an awkward conversation.
>Write-In
>>
>>837200
>...I owe you so much... Fuck, I'll make sure to get you the biggest closet and the most clothes I can, alright?
>...Kiss her for saving you again!
>Aw... Well, if you want tomorrow, I could take care of you... You did save me from an awkward conversation.
>>
You give her a kiss.

"I owe you a lot. So much, fuck, I'll actually get you that closet and the most clothes I can, and tomorrow, I'll fucking take care of you all day, alright?"

"Well... I mean, sure."

You give her a massive hug...

"...Hey uh... Can I have a huge bath to go with that? I'd like to clean blood off of my body. And I probably smell terrible."

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind... Come on."

You help her to your bed and put her in, and she practically collapses... She gets nice and cozy, and is clearly in the middle of a headache...

Actions

>Get into bed next to her. You'll take care of her in there... Also because your tired.
>Your son got the shit kicked out of him. Follow the ambulance!
>Kiss Horny once more, and tell her she did a great and wonderful job.
>Write-In
>>
>>837216
>Go do something else
I think we should get around to starting the construction plans.
Starting with a large closet for Chrysoula and the huge bath.

Anyways goodnight OP.
R.I.P Mikhal you determined bastard.
>>
Same anon

We all know in our hearts that Mikhal could be Trump.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2n_-jwPUHQ
>>
You decide to start the construction plans... You of course need a large closet for Chrysoula and a huge bath. She needs one.
Also because it'd be comfy.

Of course, you go inside your personal treasure stash, and get a slave to churn some butter from the magical butter churn you stole from the Halflings a long time ago... You need butter to think while you rest in your pile of puppy-coinage... Your room is half-full of coins at this point, allowing you to rest comfortably on the small mountain of gold you have.
If only it was larger. And overflowing into your entire palace...

So, you begin to plan. Since I have the map of your place on my PC rather then my laptop, I'll update the map when I get back home.

You of course begin to plan the construction out, but you could always try to see what your wives or friends have to say...

Actions

>Plan it out anyways!
>Eh, maybe you should see Chrysoula and see if she has more recommendations.
>...Fuck it, you want to call in some slaves and ask how you can make things better for them.
>Ask Frankizka?
>Ask Elizabeth? She's probably home.
>Ask one of your friends?
>...You should ask Charlemagne if he wants a bigger room or anything...
>You should ask your mom. She has an underground base, she should be helpful.
>...You'd like to get some roman architecture involved... Ask the Kobolds and see if they can help you?
>Your a sucker for dwarven architecture... Contact the mountainhomes and ask for their greatest architect!
>Chrysoula did say she'd like Greek architecture... Maybe you should call Greece?
>...You aren't just remodeling your personal living quarters, your going to remodel this entire palace. It was getting a little small for your liking...
>...Think internally on what YOU want... This is your palace after all.
>Write-In
>>
>>837216
>Your son got the shit kicked out of him. Follow the ambulance!


We should probably stop him getting horribly hurt from this shit, seeing as his mother will hate us over it...
>>
>>837556
>...Fuck it, you want to call in some slaves and ask how you can make things better for them.
>...You aren't just remodeling your personal living quarters, your going to remodel this entire palace. It was getting a little small for your liking...
>...Think internally on what YOU want... This is your palace after all.
>>
>>837569
This
>>
You decide to cater to your slaves needs, and you also think on what you'd like... And that you are going to remodel this entire palace.

You, personally, would like a few things. First, you'd like to sleep by your money (Or on it), a bigger laboratory for you to do more science, and maybe a much bigger throne room to fit you in your dragon form... And of course expanding the palace to fit you in your half-dragon form. There's of course other needs, for example maybe giving your children individual rooms, having a nazi shrine, and a better guarded library.
Oh, and having a bigger dungeon. That's always important.

Your slaves come in, and they seem terrified...

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can get them to answer without fear of nomming or worse! Additional +4 if you can reassure them or bribe them.
>>
Rolled 15 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>837653
>>
15+4=19

Success!

Your slaves answer you... It seems they'd like actual housing for them and their families, some rights to prevent abuse, and more sanitation, along with maybe some recreational things...
One of the human slaves seems to also promote a church dedicated to you... And is one of your slaves you got from that D&D dimension... While a drow claims to want a church.

Actions

>...Laugh at the idea of giving them rights to prevent abuse.
>Execute the worshiper of you or the catholic?
>Well, I can certainly do that.
>All of you are MY property. So I'll write some laws to prevent abuse of slaves by other people...
>...I don't build any religious buildings for slaves. Sorry.
>I can see about giving you a catholic church.
>...You like the idea of your slaves worshiping you... A church dedicated to you might work.
>Build at temple to the Roman Gods!
>Send them away?
>Write-in
>>
>>837673
>Write-in
All the churches, one for every faith.

Also see about getting them that bath house and shit, maybe get them school, slaves love schools.
>>
Waiting fifteen more minutes anons.
>>
You decide to build churches for every faith they have, and you also see about giving them a bath house and school... They slaves seem happy, and one brave slave tells you what they'd like as rights.

"Master, we'd like rights besides being your property..." Judging from his accent, he's one of the slaves from the D&D dimension as well.

"Such as?"

"Well, none of us take well to being eaten, sir."

"I see... Well, anything else?"

"Well, I mean, some form of not getting tortured like that one Catholic priest or prosecuted for our religion, and fairer working hours would be nice, lord."

Actions

>Well, I can totally do that... Most of those are just common sense!
>I can add more, you know.
>What? I can't prosecute my own slaves? What if you begin to worship chaos or something?
>Never talk to me about rights again. Your property.
>Fairer working hours? What are you, communists?
>...I'll be willing to allow no religious persecution on my part, but I get to control the churches, ok?
>...How about later?
>Write-In
>>
>>837718
>What? I can't prosecute my own slaves? What if you begin to worship chaos or something?

>Write-In
"I will consider the torture one. But I make no promises, however I can say I don't intend to torture you unless you really, really mess up like trying to kill me, my family or something. I did that to him out of sheer blind rage after taking a experimental mutagen, which I later fixed but damage was done... like his death...

As to the working hours... I'll see about reducing you to eight hours each but you will work in one of three shifts so there will always be staff working. We can discuss the start and finishing times of each shift later.

Anything else? I could see about getting you a day off a year or something. Perhaps organising concerts, circuses, field trips and such for you to enjoy?"
>>
[red]"What? I can't prosecute my own slaves? What if you begin to worship chaos or something?"[/red]

"Well, m'lord. We'd report it to you. What's this "kayos" thing anyways?"

[red]"That's confidential... But, "I will consider the torture one. But I make no promises, however I can say I don't intend to torture you unless you really, really mess up like trying to kill me, my family or something. I did that to him out of sheer blind rage after taking a experimental mutagen, which I later fixed but damage was done... like his death...

As to the working hours... I'll see about reducing you to eight hours each but you will work in one of three shifts so there will always be staff working. We can discuss the start and finishing times of each shift later.

Anything else? I could see about getting you a day off a year or something. Perhaps organising concerts, circuses, field trips and such for you to enjoy?"[/red]

"Wot's this concert and field trip thing?"

[red]"...Right. Well, just take this to your people. Now, is there anything else?"[/red]

None of the slaves really say anything, so you send them away as you begin to plan the remodeling...

Which room will you remodel first?

>The throne room!
>The treasury!
>The dungeon! (And if you want, planning out the underground sauna/bathhouse?)
>The bedroom!
>The living room.
>The personal barracks!
>The servant quarters!
>The slave village!
>The kitchen!
>The palace in general!
>The gardens?
>The guest rooms!
>Instead of remodeling, you'll make a new room...
>Write-In
>>
>>837760
>Instead of remodeling, you'll make a new room...

Gym, we promised to make it.
>>
>>837767
I don't think you promised anon, I think you just smelled minotaur sweat in the library and thought about it.
>>
>>837769
I swear we promised to build a proper gym at some point in the past...
>>
>>837772
I don't think so. If you want you can archive browse. But I guess you can build a gym anyways.

Treasury: 8 Million

Choose from the following plans...

>Order Chrysoula the best set of exercising equipment you can find... To the point both of you would have a struggle with it! (Cost: 0.5$ Million Dollars, +Chrysoula Relations, and she will become even more /fit/)
>Build Chrysoula a small personal gym. (Cost: 1$ Million, +Chrysoula Relations)
>Build a small gym to keep Chrysoula and your soldiers fit! (Cost: 1.5$ Million Dollars! Chrysoula Relations+, Soldiers like this too!)
>Build a large gym... To the point you could probably rent it out to a high school. (Cost: 3$ Million Dollars, same benefits as above, and also offers acrobatics/dancing if you spend an additional +0.5$ Million Dollars!)
>You have your own idea...
>Write-In
>>
>>837804
>Build a small gym to keep Chrysoula and your soldiers fit! (Cost: 1.5$ Million Dollars! Chrysoula Relations+, Soldiers like this too!)
Have to keep our soldiers in shape
>>
You make plans for a small gym outside... It'll cost a bit, but should be worth it, keeping soldiers fit and along with Chrysoula...

Anything else to remodel?

>The Throne Room!
>The treasury!
>The dungeon! (And by extension, the underground bathhouse/sauna?)
>The bedroom!
>The living room!
>Personal barracks!