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/qst/ - Quests

Awakening after a night of some well deserved sleep you find yourself in bed, looking at your wife.
You trail your index finger around the edge of the teeth of her mask.
This is perhaps the most enjoyable part of your morning routine and luckily for you she never wakes up when you do this.

As you finish you wake her up with a kiss on her forehead and she immediately starts groaning.
"Just five more minutes..."

Cracking a smile you let her roll around in bed for a while longer and get ready for the day.
After dressing up you go ahead and start preparing some breakfast.
While you are not nearly as good of a cook as Pesci your knowledge is enough to at least make a decent breakfast.
Opening one of the cupboards reveals a strange package you don't recognize.
There's a small piece of paper glued to it that reads:

"Lesser hollow meat! by Yata Inc.

Home grown and selectively bread to provide the best quality products, we pride ourselves on our 100% organic meat.
Contains approximately 20% fat for maximum flavor!
Preserved in all organic materials.
Best consumed in 1 week after opening."

Upon closer inspection you conclude that it smells quite good.
That crazy bastard actually did it.
For a while now he was planning on creating some sort of meat product to expand the diet of hollows in Vanaheim but you didn't expect him to pull it off.
Apparently he used some of the smaller hollows that cause many problems to this day, genetically modified and fattened them up by force feeding them with Idun.

Changing your plans you decide to fry a few slices of meat and glaze them with a mixture of finely ground up fruits.
Soon enough the house is filled with a mixture of sweet and savory aromas and Tia crawls out of bed once her stomach begins to grumble.
You can hear her going to the bathroom to get cleaned and afterwards she sits down to the table.

"Careful you don't burn yourself again."
She says so jokingly.

"That's basically unavoidable if you're not a master chef.
And besides, it happened only once!"

She chuckles a bit as you prepare two plates and place your meals on them.
The two of you then proceed with having a romantic breakfast together.
When Harribel places her utensils down she starts slowly clapping.
"Not bad Kaizar.
You managed to make something edible!"

"Very funny!"
You respond in a sarcastic tone.

''As a reward I'll clean up the mess you left behind.''

She grabs both plates and stands up from her seat.
At first you laughed a little at her comment but your carefree joy quickly turned to horror when she actually stood up.
For the first few moments you didn't even realize what was wrong only that something was not as it should be.
Once you finally figured it out you couldn't help but point at her and mutter in feat.

Your hole!"

She looks down and with a loud gasp she drops the two plates.
The ceramic shatters to a hundred pieces.

Harribel reaches down where her hollow hole used to be and finds it full.
She nervously taps it several times and with each time she gets visibly more nervous.
What's going on?!
What's wrong with me?"

Quickly you stand up from your chair and both it and the table are tossed aside as you rush to your wife.
"It's okay Tia!
Don't panic!"

As you get to her you immediately touch her abdomen in hopes of restoring her.
Your eyes go wide in surprise.
"I... I can't fix it!"

"What do you mean?!"

"I... don't know..."

In that moment you hear someone speaking in a monotone voice.
"I believe I can answer that question."

You turn around and see a man with pale, white skin.
He's completely naked and lacks any genitals, in addition to that his entire body is adorned with strange purple markings.
As you look into his eye you see that his iris is white while his sclera is purple.

Though you don't know who or what he is you have no doubt in your mind that he's responsible for Tias condition.

>Lash out at him with righteous fury.
>Start demanding some answers.
>Other? (write-in)
>Start demanding some answers.

>Start demanding some answers.

Looks like we get condom-man still.

And hey Spooky!
>Start demanding some answers.
>Other? (write-in)

Does he need a blanket or pants? Or is he comfortable going all au-naturale?

More of an it really, since it lacks the essentials
>tfw the fucking plot rock grew a body since we didn't want wings.

I feel jewed
hi spooky
we don't need wings to fly. Unless you want the style points.
''I recommend you start explaining things. Now!"

"As you wish."
He bows slightly before resuming.
''You can not restore her body to its former state as its beyond your power to do so."
Then he stops and shows no sign of resuming.


"There is no "and".
She asked why can't you heal her. I answered."

Harribel frowns.
Then tell me, what happened to me?"

"As you wish.
Your hole has been filled in.
Naturally that means every organ that was destroyed in the hollowfication process has also been restored."

"You mean?!"

"You have become fertile once more."

Both your and Harribels eyes grow wide.
"How... how did you do that?"
Tia asks with her eyes swelling up with tears.

He shakes his head.
"It wasn't me."
The man closes his eyes and when he opens them up once more he begins speaking with your voice.
"I want the next best thing. Happiness for my dear wife."

Your jaw hangs open as the words leave his mouth.
"The Hogyoku..."

The Hogyoku asked for a wish and you gave it one.
Upon hearing your desire the Hogyoku determined that the best means of fulfilling that wish was returning the fertility of the female.
So in a way it was You who did this."

You begin shaking your head in disbelief.
"No... that... that can't...
Who are you anyway? And why are you here?"

"My presence here is also your doing.
You had yet another wish.''
The man closes his eye once more and speaks in your voice again.
''Happiness for everybody.''
His voice returns to normal.
''Though you changed your wish before it could be realized it still had a lasting effect.
In an attempt to fulfill it the Hogyoku determined that It constitutes as a living being as well and as such it'd have to make itself happy.
However it was unable to determine how it could achieve that. The Hogyoku simply lacks the capacity for such thoughts.
And while you changed your wish the thoughts lingered with it. "What would make me happy?"
Lacking a clear answer I was created as an extension of the Hogyoku. My purpose is to provide It with a different view on the world in hopes of finding answers for that question."

Tia is currently too absorbed with her new womb to pay attention to the man so you have to do the speaking.
"So you are nothing more than a pawn?"

Though I'm more of a body part of the Hogyoku if we want to be specific.
Think of me as Its eyes and ears. The things with which It observes the world."
Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck. Be nice to the genie kaizar. Be nice to it.
oh dear.
I fucked everything up. Oh boy
can we feed it to wiggles?
Nanscent godling wanting to know what is happyness and can make wishes come true. Oh fuck wheres the panic room.
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I'm shitting myself right now.

But! We could make him an ally, anyone up for that?
You can't help but smile and reach for your sword.
"Nice try asshole!"
You raise your sword at him.
"But that's the biggest bullshit I've ever heard!
You mean to tell me that the orb can do ALL THIS?!
Hate to break it to you but that thing can only make Arrancars and nothing more!"

He takes a few steps forward until the tip of Basilisco presses against his throat.
Then he takes a few more.
Somehow he is still capable of speech even though he doesn't have a neck anymore.
''In a sense you are right.
That is what the Hogyoku was initially meant to do."
He raises both of his hands to his side and purple flames materialize in each.
Within the dancing fire you see two distinct images with two distinct individuals.
"Urahara Kisuke and Aizen Sosuke...
These two man sought the same thing... to dissolve the boundaries between hollow and shinigami in hopes of attaining greater power.
Both of these men were driven by the same thing, greed.
Aizen wanted the power for himself as in his eyes he hit the limits of his power.
While Uraharas intentions appear to be more noble they are just as selfish in reality.
He wished to bestow that power to the shinigami, both so they could become stronger and so he'd be promoted to the Royal Guard for his achievement. He wanted to be the next great inventor of the Soul Society."

The white man pauses for a second.
"But what they failed to realize is that they wished for the impossible. Giving a shinigami hollow powers will always result in them turning into the very thing they swore to exterminate.
These two geniuses in their relentless pursuit of an impossible goal eventually succeeded.
They created a device that could do what they wished for..."

"They created something that fulfills wishes!"
You gasp in realization.

Both of them were so absorbed by their apparent success they failed to realize just what they created.
Something that could alter the very fabric of reality itself...
That is the reason why you can't undo what the Hogyoku created.
Much like how an ant can't move an elephant, you can't oppose the Hogyokus power as it's on a higher plane of existence than you."
>inb4 kaizar jokingly wishes to be the little girl
Activate fear.exe
>Much like how an ant can't move an elephant, you can't oppose the Hogyokus power as it's on a higher plane of existence than you.

What if the Ant underwent a training montage and had orange hair? Clearly all we need to do is become an honest to god god.
Easy enough, all we need is a deep pit and a _lot_ of lube.
Tia finally recovering from her shock manages to speak up.
"So what does this mean?
What'll happen to me?"

"As far as the Hogyoku is concerned your wish has been fulfilled.
Even if you don't realize it yet.
All that changed with you is that you are now capable of having children and nothing more."

You look at the man with doubt in your eye.
"So if I make another wish it'll be fulfilled?"


"No matter what it is?"

But be warned.
If there is doubt in your heart it will cloud your mind and judgment as the flawed creature that you are.
That uncertainty might pervert and corrupt your wish. So do be cautious."

"And it will grant anyones wish?"



"The Hogyoku will only fulfill your desires if it recognizes you as a worthy master."

"And what constitutes as a "worthy master"?"

"I do not know and neither does the Hogyoku.
It simply knows who is worthy and who is not."

Cautiously you begin pulling out your sword from his throat and to your relief he doesn't seem to mind.
"Thank you, that was a bit uncomfortable."
The wound on his throat closes with a violet light and he turns his head around as if to test if it functions properly.
"But I must say that you managed to leave quite an impression on the Hogyoku already.
Since its creation It has only seen the greed of you humans. It was always the same.
Humans always made wishes to better themselves."

The creature begins listing words in various voices. Some you recognize, some you don't.
In the end you don't think it matters who made these wishes.
"I need more power, I need to win, I must save Rukya, I must protect my Quincy pride, et cetera...
You are the only one whose greatest wish was for the betterment of others."

Though you are still uncertain about the man you can't help but believe what he says.
Let's say I believe you.
What do you want?"

"I merely wish to spend time among you humans in order to learn from you."
He bows slowly and deeply.
"But only if you allow me of course."

>Allow him to stay.
>Send him away
>I have other questions (write-in)
>Other? (write-in)
>>Allow him to stay.
>Allow him to stay.
Best not have a genie wandering around unchecked.
>Allow him to stay.
>>Allow him to stay.
Neat. It's also polite.
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>We created a god
>then we gave him a wish
>that we don't know how to fufill, nor could we ever hope to come close to even presenting an annoyance to it should it go loco
>Allow him to stay.
Might as well see if he's hungry or can even be hungry.
>Allow him to stay

>Allow him to stay.

So is Tia going to tackle us back into the bedroom to test this thing out?
I expect the nanohollows to be repairing crushed pelvis bones for the next couple of weeks.
Not immediately, no

While you can't stop him he doesn't actually have any of the Hogyokus power either.

I'd expect her to already have Niagara falls running down her legs thinking of all the ways she's gonna squeeze kaizar dry.

Kaizar should be very nervous

So is this Spooky's way of implementing a training arc for Kaizar without it actually being a training arc?
Shes gonna test it out herself first? Alright.

Also uh is she still a Hollow now? She has no hole
Neither does dante and he is very much a hollow.
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What are you talking about? She has three
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She has at least 7 by /d logic
Technically she has seven.

Earholes and nostrils are also a thing
All you people forgetting the urethra for sham
You cunt. I just spilled my coffee. Touche
Does this even count as separate hole tho?
Why would it not?
You let your sword rest as you sense no hostile intentions from this individual.
''While I don't like the sound of that I have no good reason to deny your request.
But you can't go around naked like that even though you don't have any genitals."

He looks at himself confused.
"I was under the impression humans wore clothing since they lack fur or fat to keep them warm...
And I lack the capacity to feel heat."

You sigh and answer him.
"Technically that's why they were invented but nowadays it's considered indecent if you don't wear them so..."

"Ah... I understand.
It seems I misinterpreted your traditions.
Could you perhaps spare me a set of these clothes you speak of?"

"Erm sure?"
You rummage around your drawer and toss the man a set of spare clothes.

Carefully you hand over some of your less worn clothes, minus the trenchcoat.
There's no way you hand him that stuff.
As he begins putting it on you see that he's a bit shorter than you are.
"This... doesn't actually work..."

"Worry not."
In that instance you see his body slowly expanding until it looks like your clothes were tailored to him.
He didn't go as far as to replicate your appearance as a whole but this is still a bit unnerving.

"Okay... didn't expect that."
You walk to the door leading outside and open it up.
"Now could you please wait outside for a minute?
I have to talk with my wife in private."

He nods and walks out the door.
With him out of the picture you walk over to Tia who is still struggling with her tears.
"Are you alright?"

She sniffs and snivels like a little girl and looks up at you with tearful eyes.
It's just that... I don't know what to say!"

You wrap your hands around her and start comforting your wife.
With a kiss on her cheek you begin calming her down.
"There, there.
It's okay."

Soon enough she bursts out in tears and your heart starts to melt.
You've never seen her like this before. Even in the worst possible situations she never loses her composure.
But seeing her cry tears of joy like that moves even you.
I didn't mean to unleash the /d/eviants on the thread. I apologize, also, for shame Spooky, I thought you were better than that.
Spooks, I am just waiting for this Hogyoukunite to either determine that peace and happiness can be achieved by everyone being dead or something... Or there turning out to be an evil fragment of Hogyoku with its own Agenda

That shit would be better than Yhwach stuff
>yfw Hogyoku and Ywach cage match
>special guest Soul King when all his limbs reconcile and link back up with him
>featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series
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Are you saying that Soul King is going to Voltron it up or you mean like this?
I'm saying Mimihagi and whatever the hand that went with Ywach is called decide "Hey, we don't actually hate him" and return to being his limbs

Don't know where his damn legs are, though.

Not technically Powerrangering it since they are legit his limbs and not combining but reattaching but similar, yeah.
Holy shit
I never thought my quip in the last thread would come true
Does...this make us his dad?
Through her sobbing you make out some of Tias words.
"You... bastard...
I love you so much!"

Then she breaks free of your hug and goes in for such a deep kiss that you are thrown off balance and fall to the ground.
She shows no signs of stopping but you pull her free anyway.
After blinking a few times in surprise she speaks up.

"W-what's wrong?"

"You got a bit wild there Tia."

Her eyes move about a bit and she sees just how much she lost control.
"I... Sorry.
You are right..."
After regaining her composure she stands up and begins dusting herself off.
"This is not the right time.
I think I need a long bath to calm my nerves."

Groaning a bit you manage to stand up as well.
"Yeah, that's what I was about to recommend.
I'll come back soon okay?
But I want to deal with that... thing outside."

She makes her way to the bathroom and after removing her top she turns around to look at you.
"Don't take too long!"

"I promise, I won't."

You go into your room and open the locker in which you put the Hogyoku.
At first you wanted to hide it somewhere so nobody could ever find it but on a second thought you don't want to risk that.
So you decided to keep it on your person instead.
"I wish you didn't grant the wishes of others."
The Hogyoku didn't show any signs of change so you'll just hope that it'll do as you say.

Leaving your wife alone for a bit so she can think things through you open the door and almost slam into the pale man who was standing right in front of the door.
"Were you just staring at the wall all this time?"

"Yes. I was waiting for you as you asked."

You begin scratching your head in embarrassment.
"Listen Hogyoku-''

"I am not the Hogyoku.
I do not possess a name.
What you are doing currently is looking at someones plucked out eyeball and referring to it as the individual to whom it belongs."

"Then what should I call you?"

"I suppose if you want to give me a name then simply call ma Haō.
Would that suffice?"

"Sure. Whatever.
Listen Haō, I have to do some things."

"Such as?"

>Take him to Yata.
>Take him to Urahara
>Take him to Aizen?
>Go to someone else? (who?)
>Take him to Yata.
Take him to Dante!
Nothing could go wrong with this plan
>Take him to Yata.
>Take him to Yata.

>Take him to Yata.
>Take him to Yata.
Shaman King huh? Sup Spoopy
>>Take him to Yata.

We need to go see someone who is more intelligent than me, first.
>Take him to Aizen?

But in all seriousness
>Take him to Yata.
Also check on Marr and Wang Lan.
I want to see how she's enjoying his return.
Hao, eh?

Since this is English board I will call him Zeke. So small
>referencing Shaman King because in English Dub is Zeke
*>Hao is Zeke
"I'd like to go and talk with someone smarter than I about you.
And you are coming with me."

"As you wish...
I see you brought the Hogyoku with you."

''Shut up!
After hearing that I can't just leave it alone now can I?"

"It seems to like your strong will.
The Hogyoku will fulfill your wish and won't listen to others.
However if you want that to persist you should keep it on your person."


"Fulfilling wishes is in its nature.
If you leave it alone it will be compelled to grant the wish of others.''

And stop talking about the Hogyoku!
I don't want everyone to know about it!"


"Because it's fucking dangerous, that's why!''

''Do you wish to keep it from bad hands or do you simply want to keep it to yourself?"

"That doesn't matter you ass!
From what you said this thing could randomly wipe out Vanaheim if some bastards accidentally bites his own tongue!"

"The chances of that are negligible."

But under normal circumstances that chance is precisely 0!"

With that you took you "guest'' to Yatas lab.
On your way many passerby's gave you curious look.
You could even overhear some of them talking about Haō.

As you are strolling through the streets you hear a loud shriek and your heart skips a beat and unconsciously you reach for the Hogyoku.
Curious as to what happened you rushed there as fast as your legs could carry you.
To your relief it was only Wang Lan who finally met Marr after many years.

"Daddy Dinosaur!"
She rushes to the rather large man and slams into his chest with full force.

Marr casually catches her and tosses her on his shoulder.
"Shit! You are still alive?!
HAH! You put on some weight!"

She begins pouting.
"S-shut up!"

Many of the locals look at the two of them with most people not even knowing who Marr is.
As you casually wipe beads of sweat off your forehead you hear a familiar voice.
I-i-i-i-is that MARR?!"
Dordoni looks at you with the fear of death in his eyes.

"Yes, yes he is.
And no, he's not AS big of a dick as he was before.
I met him back in the Soul Society and broke him out of prison."

"Okay, first: WHAT?!

"I invited him back here because he lost most of his former power and because those decades of imprisonment served him well.
Besides, now we have enough firepower to keep him in check if he misbehaves."

Dordoni sighs as he concedes defeat.
''Dios mio... I didn't need another reason to drink..."
>Daddy Dino

More like fuckin adorable, Marr's got a daughteru
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>implying it's lewd
Drinking contest between us, hao, starrk, and dante when
>Wants to get the Genie drunk

Don't know if you're crazy or brilliant.
The answer is Yes.
Leaving Dordoni behind you walk up to Marr to greet him.
On your way there you hear him talking to Lan.
''So then I got sent to prison where I found this green haired cunt, you don't know him, and then I fucking ate his ass!''

Lan seems to be enthralled by Marrs stories about his banishment.
Unfortunately for her you have to cut story-time short.
''I see you made it back in one piece Marr."

"Oh yeah! And Kaizar was the one who busted me out!

''Not much.
I hope you'll stay true to your word and won't cause much problem."

"Can I beat the shit out of people?"

"Only if you go to the arena and somebody willingly fights you."

"To the death?"

"Possibly but not necessarily."

"That's all I had to hear!"

You turn around to take a quick look at Hao and then look back at Marr.
"I also need a favor."

"A what?"

"I might have found someone who is potentially dangerous.
I hope I can count on you if I need his ass beat.''

''Oh yeees!"

"Well then, I hope you'll be comfortable here.
Lan I leave him to you."


Leaving the two of them relatively alone you went back to Hao.
"Let's go."
You order him as you pass by.

The rest of the walk was uneventful.
You can already see the large, industrial complex that Yata calls his lab when Hao begins speaking.
"They were quite odd."

"Who? Marr and Wang? Why?"

"One of them harbor deep emotions towards the other while the large one mostly ignores them.
Why pursue something that you can not have? Indeed why didn't she simply move on when he was removed from her life?"

"You do not choose who you love, nor can you really influence it.
Call me a fool but I believe that true love, no matter what form it takes, never dies.
Even if he largely ignores her affection she doesn't mind. Simply being with him fills her with happiness.
And by that logic when he died a critical part of her life was taken away from her.
If Lan is happy with her one sided Platonic love then that's her business. Can't say I fault her."

Is this the reason for your breakdown after witnessing the death of your wife?"

You turn around, grab him by the throat and slam him into a building.
The wall cracks and a massive crater is formed where you slammed him in the wall.
"One more word and you'll regret being immortal!"

"Apologies. I didn't realize it was a... touchy subject.''
What was that about again?
Do we need to explain hollows to Hao?
And potentially etiquette?
I'm sure we could ask him to learn all about the ins and outs and dos and donts of social interaction. He could do it in a heartbeat.
You let go of his throat as you realize just how pointless it is.
However the act allowed you to get a good feel for his body and you found it lacking, literally.
The man has no regular body structure as he possess no bones, muscles, blood vessels or any organs and instead his body is made up entirely of one substance that has the consistency of muscle tissue.

"Let's go.
I'd rather get this over with before I pop a vein thanks to you."

"I apologize.
I find your customs... difficult to grasp.''

Upon entering the lab you see Yata currently mixing various chemicals that change color each time a new solution is added into the mix.
You clear your throat to get his attention.

"Ah... yes... Kaizar... welcome back!"

"Is it a bad time?"

"Yes, well no.
In a moment."

After adding the last ingredient to the mix he seals off his test tube and begins violently shaking it.
The liquid inside changes to a black color which he stares at intently for a good while.
Nodding once he pours it out into a mug and promptly starts sipping it.

"I'm trying to make coffee.
But so far all I managed to do is a knock-off coke.
While it serves the same purpose I look like a fag drinking coke from a mug.
So what's up? And who's your friend?"

Pick one of each:
>Show him the Hogyoku
>Don't show him

>Ask him to examine Hao.
>Ask him to fully dissect Hao
>Other? (write-in)
>Show him the Hogyoku
>Ask him to check out Hao
>Show him the Hogyoku
>Ask him to examine Hao.
>Don't show
Syazel will find out and Syazel a fag.
>Examine Hao.
If we're going full dissection ask Hao first for the okay.
>>Show him the Hogyoku
>Ask him to examine Hao.
Show him the hogyoku
Ask hao if he's fine with a full dissection
>>Show him the Hogyoku
>>Ask him to fully dissect Hao
>Show him the Hogyoku
>Ask him to examine Hao.
>Using kaizar and tia as the basis for the idea, Hao determines that the greatest happiness can be achieved through love
>He tries to convince marr to reciprocate wang lan's feelings
>He sets up lily and dante on a date that neither of them know they're on
>He tries to convince nnoitra and tesra to get married legit
Matchmaker hao when?
>Hao's job within the entire Ghost Mexico is matchmaker
>His greatest challenge is making Captain Wiggles not eat his wife and have a family.
>it always backfires spectacularly
>everyone grows to hate him
>but they all get along much better with that common ground
>mission success
That would be kind of hysterical but what happens when Hao runs across things that can't be fixed via romantic love?
>Hao sets out to learn about other types of love.
>Also spends time with the Karakura Kids.
>Spends the better part of a week trying to figure out what Tatsuki and Chad's deals are.
>Winds up trying to repair Uryuu and Ryuken's familial bonds
>Turns out even the Hogyuoku can't do everything
Bonus points
>Hao determines that in order to be happy, he must find love for himself
>After an entire year of meditation, he realizes that what he loves is granting the desires of others, and that since such a selfless act is one usually performed by lovers, he must in fact be in love with everyone
>He tries to date and/or marry every single person he comes across, because he thinks he loves them

This sounds like the plot to a cheesy rom-com or sitcom.

Yet I can't stop giggling.
You reach into your pocket and remove the shining stone from it.
From the corner of your eye you see Haō taking great interest in you at this moment.

"I want you to analyze something for me."

He grabs a magnifying glass and starts looking intently at the Hogyoku.
An absolutely perfect sphere that emits some sort of light.
What's this and where did you find it?''

"It's called the Hogyoku and it's Aizens creation.
This is the thing that boosted Grimmjow to his current level."

"So it's a performance enhancer?
Not interested.''

Haō steps forward.
"Actually it's a bit more complicated.
It is capable of fulfilling the hearts desires."

Yata looks at him, unimpressed.
"Kaizar, who is this twat that thinks spouting nonsense is funny?"

"He calls himself Haō.
And what he says is true. This thing removed Harribels hollow hole."

Yata grabs his chin and looks at you with eyes wide open.

"What are you looking at?"

"I'm just trying to determine what drug you are on and why didn't you share it with me...
I mean seriously! "Supreme King"? Fulfilling wishes? Removing hollow holes?
You must be hallucinating Kaizar!"

"If you don't trust me then take a look at Tia.
I swear her hole is fucking gone!"

Yata stops for a seconds and looks at Haō.
"Okay chucklefuck!
Prove it!"

He walks back and whips out a Petri dish which he then fills to the brim with water.
Then he gets every conceivable scanning device he can move around to look at it.
"Use your magic stone to freeze the water in there and I'll prove you just how much bullshit you are spewing."

Haō looks at you.
"It's your choice."

Grasping the stone tightly you wish for the water to freeze over with every fiber of your being.
You hear the sound of water rapidly freezing over and Yatas jaw hits the ground.
He frantically switches between his devices as he keeps rambling on.

He collapses onto the ground as his legs give out.
"Impossible. All heat... ceased to exist in a moment.
Energy... annihilated... no signs... nothing observable..."

You slap him while he's down and shout at him.
We need to figure this shit out ASAP!"
Ah fuck.
We broke him.
"For obvious reasons Yata, we need to keep this under wraps, and concealed. However, in the case of things going south at some point, due to Shinigami or rebellions or the like. I thought it important you know about it."
Something tells me when his brain reboots he's going to have the weirdest science boner of his entire life.
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He stands up and adjust himself.
"Okay then fuckboy!
Let's play a game, it's called I ask things and you answer them."

"That doesn't very entertaining."

"I don't care.
Can this thing do anything?"

"Anything the heart can desire.
It's only limited by the desires and ambitions of its master."

"How many wishes can it grant?"

"There's no limit.
However if it's used extensively it will enter into a state of hibernation to recharge its energy.''

So it has some sort of fuel?"
He quickly snatches the stone from your hand and places it under a large machine.
"I made this bad boy to observe spirit energies in all conceivable spectrums.
If this thing has some sort of energy I'll fi-"
His face goes pale.

You look at him and sigh.
"It doesn't show anything, does it?"

"T-that's impossible!''

''No it isn't.''
Hao interrupts.
"Just like a 2 dimensional being can't possibly comprehend a 3 dimensional one you can not observe the Hogyoku unless you are at its level.''

In that moment you remember something.
But it can make me able to perceive it! Can't it?"

Hao smiles.
''Of course it can.
The original purpose of the Hogyoku was to allow the ascension of lesser beings.
However that also has its own pitfalls."

"Such as?''

''For all intents and purposes you'd become a God for all others.
Your interactions would be just as if not more limited than that of others with you.
As the one called Starrk would put it: It's lonely at the top."

"Bastard! Stop reading my mind!"

"It's not me but the Hogyoku.
And since I am connected to it I have access to your thoughts as well."

You turn away from Hao and resume your conversation with Yata.
"As you can see, this shit is serious.
We need this swept under the rug. The only one who knows about it other than you is Tia.
But I felt you of all people NEED to know this."

In that moment a glint appears in Yatas eye.
Yata quickly snatches the Hogyoku from your hand.

"Yata! What are you doing?!"

He raises the stone in the air.
Yata, no!
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>Yata missing out on the whole "for its master" bit

It doesn't like you. Its friend doesn't like you either.
oh god, yata is gonna go batshit and start making eldritchian science happen.
one of these days hes gonna create a god damn shuggoth.
Direct conflict with Kaizar's wish unless his machine uses the Eihernjahr to do it.


>Yata NO!
>It's not a stone Yata.
>At least, not like a mundane stone. It thinks, and analyzed in some fashion.
>S'why it made Hao, to make the analysis easier.
>I asked earlier, he claims to basically be the Hogyuoku's eyes.
this seems like a greedy wish, also likely won't work either. OR it creates a machine-god.
The faint glow of the Hogyoku grows stronger as Yata keeps laughing like a maniac.
But once the light gets almost unbearable it completely disappears alongside the rock.

Wai- What?"
Yata looks in confusion as his palm is now empty.

He looks around and sees that the same light begins emanating from your hand and the Hogyoku materializes in it.
You casually walk up to Yata and once there bash him in the head so hard he slams face first into his desk.
He reels back up and begins shouting at you while blood trickles down his forehead.



Hao merely claps while this is going on.
"Splendid work Kaizar!
It seems you are starting to get the hang of it!"


"The Hogyoku is slowly getting attuned to your will.
Soon you'll be a proper master for us!"

You look at the stone in your hand and wonder.
"I'm not sure I like the sound of that."
Clutching your hand around the stone you look at Yata.
"But if you want an insight to the workings of the Hogyoku then examine Hao.
He was spawned directly by it."

"Oh it's a dissection then!"


"What's the difference?"

Hao coughs a bit to get your attention.
"I'm not against him taking a close look at me.
But he shouldn't get carried away, one large incision on my arm should suffice."

"Bah... Once I'm there I might as well go ALL THE WAY!"

"You could but you won't find anything."

"Just you wait you prick!"

After that Yata began operating on Hao with his consent.
But after opening up his arm Yata found Haos words to be true.
The mans body is entirely made up of one material so further dissection is pointless much to Yatas displeasure.
What was interesting however is when the operation ended and Yata was about to put his patient back together his wounds simply disappeared in a similar flash that the Hogyoku emitted.

Yata folds his arms and begins grumbling.
"Fucking useless piece of shit waste of time.
Bitch ass mother fuckin' God, I'll show you what for! I'll develop God cancer and then we see who's laughing!"
After that little rant of his he looks at you.
''So... you literally have God as a pet rock!
Con-fucking-gratulations! Now what?
Are you going to use it to make Hueco Mundo great again or something?"

While it sounds tempting the Hogyoku still makes you feel uncomfortable and scared.

>Keep using the Hogyoku.
>Store it somewhere safe and only use it when necessary
>Get rid of it
>Other? (write-in)
>Wish for a WALL and make the Shinigami suffer the material costs
>Make one wish which is this >>819768
>Store it somewhere safe and only use it when necessary
But seriously,
>Store it somewhere safe and only use it when necessary
Keep it on us at all times, let NO ONE fuck atound with it. We should treat it as a monkey's paw until we get used to the thing, and even then, use it ONLY when necessary. I DO NOT want this turning into the ending of some greek myth
>Store it somewhere safe and only use it when necessary
One last wish: Can it make something similar to the Tenshintai but for Hollows to assist them in achieving their second release? It doesn't have to work the same way at all, just make the achievement easier. Bonus points, we can just claim that Yata invented it and thus keep the secret..
I vote for this >>819768
>Store it somewhere safe and only use it when necessary

With great power comes great responsibility or something.
Absolutely not.
>Keep it on hand, but don't use it unless necessary.
Well it's worthwhile to keep around, and I doubt it's actively malicious or anything.

So the best bet to keep it from the wrong hands are to keep it safe, or destroy it.
Although I'm not sure what consequences trying to destroy it would cause.
I suppose I could wish for it to destroy itself.

It wouldn't make much difference since I prefer to obtain things with my own hands, but I think I'll keep it.
It's a living creature in some capacity, and I don't like causing more harm than necessary.
>Other? (write-in)
Keep it with us for now.
Keep it on us and only use it when necessary

See if we can wish for it to look like a simple necklace or ring or something so it's less conspicuous
That is retarded and a blatant misuse of power we explicitly agreed not to do.
>>Store it somewhere safe and only use it when necessary
You guys have a point

>Wish for a wall and make Shinigami suffer SOME of the costs

You should probably link the post that asked for the vote then.
>>Store it somewhere safe and only use it when necessary

Seconding this sentiment. If the safest place is on our person then that's where we keep the damn thing.
Lets just keep it on us
WIsh for the restoration of hueco mundo!
Changing my joke vote here >>819773 too >>819783

Linking the vote here just to make sure it's counted
Man what? Ah well I tried.
>>Store it somewhere safe and only use it when necessary
One vote got changed and another is lost.
So it's a tie.
However rather than letting the dice decide I'll go with the more fun option.
Keeping it on yourself without abusing it

You clench your fist hard around the orb and look Yata in the eyes.
This thing is too dangerous.
If I abuse it then everything we built with our hard work will slowly decay as we grow complacent.
So far we created all of this with nothing but determination and I'm not going to toss all that aside for some God rock."

"So... How do you want to destroy it?"

"I won't."

You see both of them being surprised by this.
In response to that you open up your jacket and reveal your hollow hole.
The decision has been made. Taking the orb in your hand you place it in the middle of your hole and once you let go of it the stone begins to float right in the middle of your hole.
A strange sensation surges through you, something you have almost forgotten.
The Hogyoku sends some sort of a burst throughout your body that almost feels like a heartbeat.
Once you recover from the shock of that you pull up your jacket and hide the orb.

Yata looks at you displeased.
''I'd have liked it more if you destroyed it...
But I suppose you are the only nutjob who wouldn't ask the magic God rock for help even if your life depended on it just to show it who's boss."

Hao however merely claps.
So are you saying you won't be using the Hogyoku even though you keep it on your person?"

If it becomes necessary I'll use it but never for my own gain."


Yata looks at Hao and you can see that he can barely stand being in his presence.
"Hey Kaizar. What do we do with wonderboy over here?
I'm fairly certain we can encase him in cement and drop him into Negal."

"Leave him be.
As long as he doesn't bother anyone he can stay."

Hao bows.
''Thank you for your kindness Kaizar.
I promise I'll try not to cause trouble."

You turn your attention to Yata.
"Don't you need an immortal test dummy for your experiments?
In exchange for his help with your research you help him socialize when you go out to drink in the tavern."

That doesn't sound like a bad offer...
Fine Supreme Fag, you are working for me now! Do as I say and I'll show you some good shit!"

"I'll try my best."

Yata turns to you.
"I need a stiff drink after this.
Are you coming?"

You shake your head.
"No, I have something important to take care of."

She shall be pregnant with a bunch of tiny Godzillas who will devour each other in her womb until only one remains. That's how sharks work
I want to say your wrong, but thats fucking awesome.
God damn I fucking love Yata
We should make yatu are waifu that would be fucking awsome
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You take your leave from the lab and make your way back home.
On the way back you are "greeted" by the Tres Bestias.

Apacci screams at you and grabs you by the collar.
"We were just passing by and thought to check on Mistress Harribel only to find her SO MAD that she practically threw us out of the house!
Care to explain before we feed you a few knuckle sandwiches?"

You tilt your head to the side and only barely can you hold back your laughter.
A part of you would love to inform them that she merely got rid of them because she's expecting you.

"Listen Apacci, I'd love to explain it but I have very important matters to attend to with MY WIFE so..."

Hesitantly she lets you go.
"Fine but if Mistress will be stressed out the next time we visit her I'll kick your ass until you throw up the sole of my sandals!"

After getting rid of them you quickly made your way home where Tia has been waiting for you patiently.
Upon entering you have to swallow hard at the sight before you.
Harribel is sitting on the couch in nothing but her lingerie.

"It's not nice making a lady wait."

You take off your jacket as you make your way to her.
"I tried cutting it as short as possible.
Believe me the suspense was killing me."
And with that you steal a quick kiss from her.


But before you continue you stop for a moment and look her in the eye.
"Are you sure you want this?
I mean-"

She puts her finger on your mouth and hushes you.
I want to do this with You."

It's not often you are taken out of commission for a whole day but today is one such day.
This was the first time you've seen Tia behave in such a manner she kept going through the entire time as if she was possessed.
It was long, rough, violent, exhausting and sometimes even the earth shook.
In the end you found your wife sleeping on your chest and in your arms.
Her rhythmic breathing slowly lulling you into sleep.
>the earth shook

A woman who is able to shake a world, not even on the same plane of existence is the best type of woman.
And that'll be the end for today.
Archive's up and I'll edit the pastes sometime next week.

As it was requested once I'll post the pastes and my twitter and ask names:

Social Link : http://pastebin.com/7BaeUVGW
Kaizar Character Sheet:http://pastebin.com/HreBR2Bu
Glossary: http://pastebin.com/qcGXgDN5

Twitter: @SpookyngQM
Ask: @Spookyng

Next week we'll get into some fun stuff with a new arc!
Thanks for the run Spooky, Best ending.
He said earth, not Earth. Big distinction. Earth is a planet, but earth can also just mean dirt, rocks, sand and soil. Hueco Mundo certainly has earth.
Thanks for the thread.
Thanks Spooky.
>inb4 the Hogyuoku fixed Harribel's hollow hole by knocking her a bit closer to your standard soul/shinigami
>inb4 Tia can no longer learn Segunda Etappa, but rather achieves the shinigami's Bankai at some point.

>An actual Bankai, not just calling it that
>Yata is currently in charge of meat production
>We gave him an immortal super regenerator that can alter his mass and possibly change composition at will

Hao meat when?
>implying hao meat won't be a fuckton like getting mini wish granting devices
>all the damn hollows in vanaheim are now minor reality benders
>Shinigami invade
>have to deal not only with a Stalingrad-Vietnam(They're in the fucking trees, man!) but also Dr. Manhattans everywhere
Jesus Christ
>OMG comes down
>Hey, Plot rock, I wish he wasn't such a fucking badass so all these people don't fucking die

GG no re.
Not even that.
Just dose him with Eihernjahr: Respira Edition that we prep ahead of time.
Maybe in canisters or dartgun ammo form.
Now, call me crazy, but his flames are certainly more than enough to cause the heat to break down biological matter, including the goop. Aerosol form or not. It's not like Aizen's illusions. And we don't know if our respira is flammable. I doubt it is, but you never know. The fact of the matter is, OMG is absolute bullshit and you should never under any circumstance assume you can beat him, through trickery or not.

'Specially since his bankai would pretty much atomize anything that got close enough to his skin or sword. And fire everywhere in shikai. Dude's scary, and he doesn't fuck around, either.
>this is exactly how we are gonna collectively screw over quincykind.
Failing that just wish for some Seki Stone shackles to teleport onto him.
Or use Szayel's research to set up anti-sword release areas, and combine it with the gas cannisters/darts.
Since apparently there's significant difference between Arrancar zanpakuto and Shinigami zanpakuto we out to be able to operate in relative freedom, while the biggest issue becomes Kenpachi, Kido Corps, and Soi Fon screaming about Shunko.
So, do you reckon that ashido has to eat hollows to survive?
Don'T forget this would probably piss off urahara and his group something fierce, as well as lolvizards and potentially the walking plot piece known as ichigo.
That assumes his zanpakuto is released before he inhales... literally anything.
I have no doubt he'd release it ASAP but he also has a tendency not to release it immediately in response to threats. Preferring to rely on sword techniques not to murder everything around him comrades included. (A little like Yata and SCIENCE! instead of LAS PLAGAS EVERYTHING)

The only reason he might, is due to seeing what happened to Aizen, and briefing.
But he also knows that's the result of a sword release not some chintzy smoke bomb(yet)
This is all under the assumption of "And then the Soul Society Invaded" who gives a shit if they whine about us having a plan and protecting our people?
You should note OMG is incredibly proficient in Kido. Also has huge raw strength. And still fast as shit despite his age. He has had nearly a thousand years of practice in every technique and set of skills the shinigami have. Top that with him being one of the few dudes with common sense and actual practical intelligence he's a hard nut to crack even without his bullshit sword.

Hell, even in canon his reaction to having his sword taken out of play was "I'll just fucking smash you to death, then."/

So you want to have our sword released before we even know he is showing up? And if he intends to use his sword he probably won't show up with allies.

I'm also reasonably certain we have to be in etapa to use the mist version of the goop like that. Which also means staying in that release for long enough to "cook".

Something also tells me spooky wouldn't let us trivialize every single fight in existence by allowing stuff like having gas grenades of the stuff on standby.
The solution to OMG is the same as yata's test. Freeze.
The hogyoku apparently thinks the easiest route to freezing something is to remove absolutely every bit of energy from it. With no sign of where it goes to.
The idea was Segunda Etappa before hand and bottle it with energy rich flesh, or creating a device via SCIENCE! that preps the Eihernjahr via heat and spiritual pressure, either supplied by the individual via Reiatsu, or with some reiatsu rich meat in the cannisters to act as a fuel source for the Eihernjahr to leech off of, possibility a combination of both.
By beforehand I mean like days, weeks or a month or so in advance man.
I think it would eat through the flesh almost instantly, or within short order at least. I don't think they would last very long.

It's a great idea, but it would just make everything too easy. You could win any fight against living enemies by just hugging them and setting one of those off before they kill you.

It would be impossible for balance reasons.

Also kills the impact of using it since we kind of just have it on standby. Not as cool.
I honestly just wanted a way to just either
A. Mitigate hordes of shinigami mooks
B. Hamper heavy hitters via "the fuck is this bullshit" options "out of nowhere"
There's no reason why every idea has to work or anything.

Although I would be pissed if Kurotsuchi v. Yata-Garasu came down to "lol I'm a Captain" instead of gadgetsgadgetsBIOLOGY!DRUGS!SCIENCE! and heaping abuses on Nemu and Granz
Those two fighting will, somehow, end up with a baby being born.
And i'm not talking about his bankai.
Shinigami mooks are actually total shit compared to Vanaheim's mooks. Especially with even basic tactical training. Which it seems the shinigami utterly lack and instead focus on "stab it to death, git gud". The shinigami really are utter dogshit as a military organization that floats by entirely on 3rd seats LTs and Captains.

Mayuri and Yata would get along swimmingly and be absolutely tsundere for each other. Also throw chemicals at each other that don't work because AHA MORE CHEMICALS! And then everyone just goes home since they keep throwing nasty shit around.
This makes me wonder the rough amount of shingami Mooks there are at SS. I mean at this point we must have a ungodly amount of aduchjas and Gillians roided up on soul fruit, let alone the sheer amount of basic hollows that are also powered up.
Supposedly the total size of the Gotie 13 is around 3000 people. Which is just stupid.
>Each Division is made up of just over 200 Shinigami, with the Gotei 13's standing force being just around 3000 total enlisted troops.

>Bleach Official Character Book Souls

Quick wiki search led to that, but I don't know conclusively.
We can probably match that.
Then again our initial organization under Aizen was fucked seeing as he predicated the idea of war with Soul Society on "10 Vasto Lorde" and got about 3 or 4 before deciding "eh close enough"
So we might need to rework our forces, and focus on training, tactics and recruitment.
Considering how normal mook shinigami have to hunt normal mook hollows in squads, our roided up hollows would wipe most shinigami without any much trouble.

And then we could just have Starrk take off the coat and everything would die.
Doesn't hurt to have people actually know what they're doing though.
Otherwise we might be better stat-wise, but in practice we're no better than the captains for the squads of literally whos in SS.
Which is why our dudes have rudimentary training. That alone means that the hollows will cooperate somewhat more which pretty much grinds any shinigami to a halt save the named ones that can one-shot hollows or groups of them. We probably have given more actual training to our dudes than all of the SS guys have. But we haven't been there to know what they have been up to in this canon. Maybe they actually are smart this time. Who knows.
Just saying we could and probably should put more effort there when possible.
Funnily enough when I re-watched that part of the anime they actually showed a small rock with actual fucking grass on it.

And they even showed a bunch of mushrooms, implying that he eats those.

True but that's the exact same situation that was in WW2 between the Russians and Germans.

The germans had the superior armaments, training and tactics but the Russians still won by zerg rushing everything with superior numbers.

So in short: The average Números is better than the average shinigami but they are outnumbered by a LOT

That whole deal with the Gotei 13 having only about 3000 soldiers is just plain retarded so I won't be using it
Germans also made a few fucking retarded decisions, especially the one where they invaded russia during winter, because that's always gone well

But still, for having the majority of people against them, they did pretty darn well
And they attached themselves to a bunch of dead weights in the form of Italy...

But my point still stands.
Russia almost always wins thanks to superior numbers.
In essence they are a more real and inbred version of the Tyranids
Russian soldiers are hollow rations
They die constantly so our comrades on earth can eat well
Russia mostly won due to incredibly poor decisions by their enemies and wars of attrition in which they lost massive numbers of people.

The SS can't really afford to lose tons of people since they are actually so limited in numbers. If they have to watch the whole of Japan then losing a large portion of bodies will let a great deal of hollows run unchecked.

I wouldn't put money on them zerg-rushing us because OMG isn't a blathering fool. Especially considering some of the captains have abilities that are absolutely perfect for taking out huge numbers of people even when not fighting them directly.
Okay... recruitment drive it is.
Since as I recall Aizen's forces were Arrancar Nos. 1-99 and the Privaron Espada.

We do have more than that by way of the Exequia, but not by much.

So I think recruitment and training up the Fraccionnes would likely be for the best.
We should certainly Train our forces more, and with some help from yata we might be able to make some modern weaponry, Like grenades, and the spirit equivalent of general explosives hell armour capable of blocking an arrancars cero would be helpful because combining that with hierro makes a ridicules defensive capability
And my only request is if we do make armour is that it looks like this.
>MFW captcha is a german street sign. obviously wants to DEUS VULT

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