Sorry about my last thread in Werewolf Reich and how short I was on. Hopefully I'll be on longer tonight.Last time on EDQ, we got depressed and cried over having our legs get smaller, we also partially discovered that I rarely update the character sheet (and oh boy do I mean rarely), we also got cookies from our mom, and cried like a baby at having shorter legs in front of our waif- I mean, wives.And right now, your flying over the Norwegian coastline... With your mom... Who's slightly bigger then you.You let an acidic tear fall. Who cares... You've already melted... What, two farms with your tears...Oh, and you gave some nasty burns to Chrysoula. Who for some reason didn't notice... Huh.I don't know why you let your mom treat you like this.Like what?She still treats you like a small child... And I'm not a person who's going to yell "fuck your parents edgelord now" or anything, but honestly...What's wrong with having thine mother take care of us?I mean, it might become a joke or something to people... Just saying. Also because it's kind of... Childish, I guess.Oh, and Fenrir's been bitching about you hanging out with your mom. That's nice.Can you stop? Come on, our mom loves us and we love her.I'm just saying...She's a good rolemodel.Everyone of course, goes silent at that....She's a uh... I meant when she's not a tyrant or slaver.Well... Maybe it's just because that's not my mom, I guess.Who is your mom again?Oh fuck no, I'm not telling you. You guys would make fun of me or something...Well, I like being around our mom. Even if she's evil as fuck, it's kind of adorable to be taken care of as a large draconic child.Say, Ren... You haven't been talking much. What sayeth you?About my mom?Well, yeah. Can you just get Fenrir to stop bitching though? That'd be nice.Fine. I love my mom, and go fuck off Fenrir.Wow, thanks.Hey... Just wondering... Why are we attacking the French again? I mean, they are the property of our ward, Reuviere... And I kinda liked that kid. He was pretty cool.Actions>Come on, Reuviere's a cunt.>Reuviere's cool, I guess.>We should attack somewhere else.>In a sense, he's... Well, he's sort of family. I think.>...I only had him a year, and he's... What, sixteen? Maybe we should take him with us again. I liked him around... Made a good apprentice at least.>Who cares? I just want to crush people who are smaller then me...>Let's attack somewhere else then...>Didn't he have a sister?>...You know, I don't think Frankizka has forgiven me for helping my daughter eat the Eiffel Tower. Maybe we should get her to like us again? I mean, she's starting to dislike us, with all our monument eating and slavery...>Write-In
AlsoTwitter: QuestingQMCharacter Sheet:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU/editAlso, new title image. I don't know if it's good or not, so feel free to yell "It's cancer!" or suggestions at me!
>>802406>We should attack somewhere else.The Netherlands look like a viable target. It's right next to France and it's independent.
You decide to attack the Netherlands with your mom... What exactly will you attack?>Go straight for Amsterdan!>Maybe you could extort them in exchange for not destroying their precious dykes...>You know, you always wanted to see a few dutch windmills. Raid the countryside!>...Nah, the Dutch are cool...Go for Brussels instead. Belgians are basically french...>Head somewhere else!>Write-In
>>802733>Go straight for AmsterdanFucking potheads.
You decide to head straight for Amsterdam."Mom?""Yes?""Can we go to Amsterdam?""Where's that, dear?""It's to our left.""I thought you wanted to go to France?"Actions>Well... I sort of think the French have suffered enough.>The french don't taste good and smell terrible in my opinion.>Well, the Dutch are closer. Did I mention they taste great?>Come on, it'll be fun...>Can you stop calling me dear? It's kind of childish...>You know, why don't we go to France together? Maybe you'll appreciate mortal art?>Write-In
>>802745>Well, the Dutch are closer. Did I mention they taste great?Inb4 they're all potheads and we get high
"Well, the Dutch are closer... Did I mention they taste great?""Well, I guess we'll take a turn to Amsterdam then..."Roll me a 1d20-3 to see if your detected!
Rolled 11 - 3 (1d20 - 3)>>802842It's just the Dutch. How hard can it be?
Rolled 2 - 3 (1d20 - 3)Oh shiet nigga. This might actually be hard.
Rolled 10 - 3 (1d20 - 3)>>802842
11-3=8Failure!You seem to be detected as you approach Amsterdam, and you see the city in the middle of evacuation, most of the populace having already fled... Apparently driving straight for the border!Huh.That's when you hear...Missiles?You look down, and see once-German bunkers (still bearing their symbolage) suddenly have anti-air rocket devices come up, guided by radar... You count about eight facilities surrounding Amsterdam, and they fire in total... About 240 missiles. Headed straight for you.And that's only the first volley... It seems the Germans have been investing A LOT into developing counters against you...Your mom seems to be rather confused by the missiles, which seem to be going for... Well, you and her. About 120 per.The missiles also seem to be covering the lighter anti-air still getting set up, and you have a feeling these missiles are slow at reloading...Actions>Try to alert your mom to the threat those missiles have!>...Turn back! You aren't getting blown up by missiles!>Try to get your mom to take the lead.>...Try to evade the missiles? (Agility, HARD)>...Try to get higher and go after the civilians fleeing for the German border! Muahaha!>Get your mom to go ahead of you! She'll tank the missiles!>Oooh, Missiles! They taste great! Rush them and try to nom them!>Try to land? Maybe you can get the missiles to miss or crash?>Ignore them and go straight for the light AA.>Ignore them and go after the bunkers firing the rockets!>Write-In
>>802865>Try to alert your mom to the threat those missiles have!>Nom the missiles.
"Mom, try to dodge those missiles!""What are those?""They're the things headed straight for you!"She nods her head and tries to evade... While you rush down to nom a few...Roll me a 1d20-5 to see if rushing missiles head on is a good idea. Specifically missiles made to counter YOU.
Rolled 8 - 5 (1d20 - 5)>>802874
8-5=3Great Failure!You prepare to bite down a missile... Only to miss horribly.Roll me a 1d20+5 for how much this will hurt.
Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>802895
>>802895Can I roll again?
Rolled 18 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>802895
Sorry about the wait, was eating lunch.18+5=23Success!You note the missiles seem to detonate when pressed deep into your body, and the missile detonates on your toothdamaging one of your teeth heavily; cracking it and causing blood to slightly drip from it... Ow. It seems to be very, very loose now... And seems to be hanging on by an edge.You evade downward to avoid the rest of the missiles upon realizing their heavy anti-armor purpose, and the missiles seem to be... Well, guided by heat... Too bad your warm blooded. Being cold blooded really would of helped in the not "being traced by missiles" department.Of course, a few missiles go after your mother, who's much more nimble then you... She twirls and evades them, though she seems to be gradually losing distance between them...Actions>Land! You can use the buildings as cover!>Try to fly into the path of the missile's following your mom!>You have a idea... Try to reduce the heat given off by using your ice aura!>Try to get Solaire to shoot lasers at the missiles! You might get lucky! (Will damage you due to lack of food in your stomach!)>Nom more missiles! (Note, this is very risky since the missiles are designed to penetrate armor and scales...)>Try to nom the missiles following your mom!>Try to break your tooth out... It's slowing you down and you don't need to eat something only for it to fall down your throat and choke you!>Attack the radars on the ground or the bunkers firing the missiles!>Try to use Necrotic Healing on your tooth!>Write-InMax HP: 18,000Current HP: 17,000
>>803103>You have a idea... Try to reduce the heat given off by using your ice aura!
You try to reduce the heat given off...Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if this works!
Rolled 17 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>803117
17+3=20Success!The missiles seem unable to track you, and fly off harmlessly... You of course doubleback to your mom, who's realized what to do and follows your example, and those missiles as well fly off harmlessly... But it seems one or two has hit her. You look at the ground, and see this has a rather... Demoralizing effect on the light anti-air, which has begun to fire at you... It's flak shells being nearly completely deflected off of you.The bunkers appear to be preparing another salvo...Max HP: 18,000Current HP: 16,800Actions>Go for the bunkers!>Laugh evilly at finding a design flaw in German engineering!>Go for the light anti-air.>Check to see if your mom needs healing with your breath or necromancy!>Attack Amsterdam!>...Go after the people fleeing. They'll pay for event THINKING your legs are smaller then usual...>Burrow beneath the city?>Write-In
>>803147>Go for the light anti-air.Ren really needs to lighten up. Some of the greatest dragons in history had short legs.
Kind of like Corgi.Daww...Also, Ren will be salty for all fucking eternity about his legs.You begin to dive for the heavy flak trying to penetrate your scales...Roll me a 1d20+4 to deal with them! Additional +2 if you want to come up with an attack since I'm a little too lazy to make another set of options right now.Oh, and additional +2 if you want to yell your revenge about them thinking your short... Because that's clearly on their minds.
Rolled 19 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>803193Step on the artillery pieces and plow our way through."Fucking Dutch lanklets!!! I'll eat your children!"
Rolled 6 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>803193Funny you mention corgi legs, since that is how I described it in a conversation recently.As to the attack; flames and Ren open fire / ice while sol eats shit to power up his attack.
You land on the countryside surrounding Amsterdam, right ontop of Bofor's flak cannon, and you are pissed off. They probably noticed your stubby little legs, damn it... You'll show them, you'll show ALL of them! You make sure to hide your internal despair at your legs and channel it into irony by stepping and crushing on the flak cannons, treating them like how a horse would treat stepping on an insect... Or how a salty dragon would deal with someone thinking about how you have short legs.You let out a roar as you stomp on the tanks, and yell out various insults and threats, such as "I'LL EAT YOUR CHILDREN YOU DUTCH FUCKS!" and "I DO NOT HAVE CORGI LEGS YOU FUCKING DUTCH POTHEADS!"After stomping around for a little bit, another salvo of rockets are fired from the bunkers... This time they seem to be dumb-fired and moving faster... Meaning you can't take off.Roll me a 1d20-4 to dodge! Additional +2 if you can threaten the mortals further for even THINKING about the fact you have short legs.
Rolled 20 - 4 (1d20 - 4)>>803233I bet that Ren's great grandfather or something had stubby legs. Glaurung was the progenitor of all dragons in the lord of the rings universe and he had stubby legs.
Critical Success!You lower your head, and the dumb-fired rockets only hit Amsterdam... Starting a fire. You chuckle slightly, getting your mind off your stubby legs... Which only makes you angry again; as you turn your head to see the minor destruction in Amsterdam... It dealt fair damage.Of course, most of the Flak has gotten the idea to retreat, but it seems a dutch Armor column is moving in on you... Your mother also remains out of your way, probably thinking you went to vent out your anger by yourself.Actions>Deal with the bunkers!>Head to Amsterdam!>Destroy the Armor Column!>Burrow underground! You can destroy things safely down there!>Try to eat something nearby to both fill your eternal hunger, and so you can shoot laser beams!>Get your mom to come down and help you!>Write-In
>>803264>Destroy the Armor Column!
>>803264>Destroy the Armor Column!Tanks are part of a healthy diet.
>>803218You talk to friends about EDQ?What sort of autist are you?I'd be pleasantly surprised just to know how some normie would react to my quest.You go forward to destroy the armor column, trying to once again vent your anger... Also because tanks taste good in butter...Hmhm... Butter...So of course, you head forward to the light tank column, which seems to be keeping out of your stomping range... Since they can actually move slightly faster then you.Yay for being as mobile as brick shithouse, since you can't even really hurt them because they backpedal so much. You swipe at the occasional tank that gets stuck, but this is the odd one or two, and your essentially chasing something that can't be caught. At least, until it runs out of fuel or crashes... However, an opportunity arises when they get stuck at a bridge...Max HP: 18,000Current HP: 15,800Roll me a 1d20+5 to either grab or destroy the tanks. (Grabbing them does not give the additional bonus. Ren will also try to find something to dip them in like breadsticks.)Additional +2 if you can come up with an idea on destroying them... And in addition to that addition, a +2 if you can yell something about not being short. (Applies to both grabbing or destroying them)
Rolled 7 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>803310Solaire would probably do a good job destroying armor.
Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>803310Trust me, they liked it but I mostly talked about the highlights; the destruction of Buenos Aires, the stubby legs, that fact we married the queen of England (since I am from the UK, that one is kinda funnier) and that sort of shit. Still, you got a fair few laughs from them for all of it.
7+5=13Failure!You try to take a chunk out of the ground to eat, but you are disgusted by the idea of eating dirt again, and gag reflectively. The tanks of course cross the bridge, foiling your plans... It seems they're sending you on a very long hunt, and your mom dives behind them, putting them between a rock, and a hard place... She seems quite angry, and leans down to them."I see you've been shooting my son." She says, eerily calm.Roll me a 1d20+5 for parental help.If you want, you can protest her help, as your a strong independent dragon.
>>803339Fuck, sorry for missing your update. Kind of in a middle of a rush.Also, this makes me happy.
Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>803341I know it would be really pathetic but we should get Ren to eat dirt more often. >Needs to fuel his laser head>Just eat some dirt.
16+5=21Great Success!Your mom promptly grabs a tank, and rips off the turret on it. Then eats the crewmembers before tossing the tank behind her, which soars to Amsterdam."Mom, why didn't you just eat the tank too?""I'm on a diet. Having kid does add weight, you know... And not to be rude, but you really should consider a diet yourself!"The tanks slowly creep away..."What, this chunk?" You grab your belly, which is slightly overweight. Probably still from Buenos Aires."Well, yes... Why don't we talk about this at a later time? Mom's busy." She gives you a polite kiss on your cheek, and looks towards the tanks... She begins to pick them up as they flee, and she chases after them, apparently intending on enslaving (and eating a few) of them.Meanwhile, your left alone, with only the bunkers and the city between you...Actions>Go to the city!>Destroy the bunkers to prevent more artillery fire!>Go after the civilians... What, they taste good! Also, they probably think your short or something. Also potential slaves!>...Now you aren't in the mood... Just wait for mom to be done and head home. Your still rather angry, but still...>Write-In
>>803377>Go after the civilians... What, they taste good! Also, they probably think your short or something. Also potential slaves!Anyone else in the mood for Dutch slaves? I'm in the mood for some Dutch slaves.
You decide to go after the fleeing civilians, as you stomp along Amsterdam's countryside... But there's a small problem.It's close to the German Border. And you see a LOT of German military forces even from there...So you begin to double time it before they get across the German border...Roll me a 1d20+2 if you can catch up. Additional +3 if you can think angry thoughts about being short!
Rolled 4 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>803396"I WON'T BE ABLE TO PEAK OVER MOUNTAINS ANYMORE. FUUUUUCK!"Did Ren ever meet his grandparents or something?
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>803396
Not yet.You are ANGRY about the fact you cannot look over mountains and see scantily clad women... so you triple-time it straight to the civilians, who you quickly get in front of, and block the border... Oh, and your tail surrounds them slowly. You count... Oh, about 12,000 terrified Dutch civilians... Though you do have a feeling the Germans will not like this at fucking all... You see most of the civilians are fleeing with the families, and a few children and babies cry... Which sort of hit a nerve with you.Actions>Squish. Close your tail in on them...>You wonder how eating 12,000 civilians would taste like... Bite down!>Stomp them.>Erh... Just let the children go. You aren't a monster who's going to enslave innocent children and babies, right? You are trying to be good...>...Ask for a "toll" for passing. Those who can't pay stay behind...>Let them pass, and welcome them into Germany.>Deal with the German military...>Laugh evilly and make the men, women, and children your slaves! Mom would be proud!>Let the women and children go. You don't have any use for them.>...Maybe you should just demand to have a few of their beautiful dutch women come with you. You know, just because your around mom.>Write-In
>>803446>Laugh evilly and make the men, women, and children your slaves! Mom would be proud!
>>803446>Let them pass, and welcome them into Germany.>Write-In"I honestly am just here to get my mind off somethings and to spend time with my mother. You guys, can go."We are trying to be NICE remember?
>>803461I thought we just came here to pillage and vent some steam. Having 12,000 workers just seemed like a good thing to me. Also it would make Kersteina proud.
>>803475It isn't 12000 workers, unless you want to have child labour and can figure out how to make babies work.But we did come here to pillage, which we can do by taking all of the TV's, cars, tanks, boats, paintings, statues and books.
>>803502In that case could we just let the women and children go? We should get at least some slaves from this.
>>803446>Let the woman and children go.Finally got here for this.>Anime is for elven faggotsThems fighting words.
>>803515So you would separate literal thousands of families? How about we just ask for an jewellery and call it a day?
>>803531That sounds.Doable actually I can support that.Take all their jewelry and valuables.
>>803531How about we take around 3,000 slaves, all consisting of families. That way we don't depopulate the whole town and we don't separate families.
>>803557They are running away from the city we are destroying, I don't think they plan on returning.
>>803599Well the city was being devastated by a giant three headed dragon at the time. They would probably go back once the dragon had left.
You laugh evilly, and loudly pronounce them to all be your slaves! You grab them by the handful, while they pitifully try to resist... So you put them on your back... But you feel a few of them trying to climb up off your tail (at least those you haven't grabbed yet), and is generally chaotic... You also see your mom wipe a tear from being so proud of you.Aww...Of course, it seems your slaves seem very, very resistant and are trying to climb off you as you grab clumps of more and more civilians...Actions>Who cares? Just fly off. Though a few people will fall off and you'll lose quite a few of them...>Make an example?>Try to instill into them that resistance is futile!>Try to knock the escaping civilians by your tail into orbit with your tail!>Try to terrify them into staying on you?>Cough and say that you had something in your throat, and try to be nice?>Wave at your mom! Your happy she's proud of you and your slaving skills.>...Great. Now you've got to live up to her expectations. Demand their womenfolk, butter, and worldly possessions... The things you do for your mom. >Did you say slavery? You meant... Erh, they're free to pass.>Write-In
Holy shit anons, my internet is down for probably one hour and there's a fuckton of activity.Sorry anons. I set it to auto and didn't realize that other people posted (I thought anons were ded once again)
>>803711>Cough and say that you had something in your throat, and try to be nice?who said anything about Slavery? We're just here to invite them to move to Sweden for better lives.
>>803711>Write-InOffer them a choice, come to Sweden for a special colonisation project (in another dimension), or they can attempt to restart their lives in Germany without any of their jewellery, we mostly want the jewellery and don't really care beyond that.
Waiting 15 more minutes anons
"Now... Erh, who said anything about slavery? I'm offering a special deal... You can come with me to colonize a NEW DIMENSION, or you can restart your lives in Germany without your valuables..."The slave- You mean, civilians immediately begin protesting, and none seem to like EITHER option."Just hand over your jewelry or come with me. That's your only option."Your mom comes over, apparently distracted from the tanks. She seems a little hurt..."Is everything alright?" She says in draconic."I'm just trying to get them to do what I want!""Have you tried making an example or torturing them?""Mom, thanks for the advice, but I can handle this.""What do you want from them anyways?""Mom, come on. I'm kind busy here.""Ren, sweetie, you aren't watching them closely. Some of your slaves are escaping."She picks up a fleeing human male, and eats him."Now, Ren... You know how to discipline your slaves, right?"You hear the people on your back appalled at your mom eating someone."Aw, look at that. They think they have free will!"Actions>Mom, I don't need a tutorial on this...>You just ate an innocent man!>Mom, they aren't slaves!>Thank you for trying to help, but I can handle this...>Well, can you help me? They aren't giving me their money or wanting to come with me!>Well, I'm just trying to get their money and THEN enslave them...>Can you stop? I'm a grown dragon.>First, are you hurt at all? If you want, I can heal you.>Deal with the humans running away first of all!>Write-In
>>803868>Thank you for trying to help, but I can handle this...These people could be useful in colonizing future territory like space
"Mom, thank you for trying to help but I can handle this.""I'm just trying to help, Ren.""It's fine Mom. I can handle them.""Well... They're your slaves I suppose.""Thank you, Mom."She pats you on the head, and a few seconds of silence go by..."So... Are you feeling better now?""A little...""Come on, you look adorable with stubby legs... The girls will love it."You very nearly snarl; mostly out of mention of your legs."Mom, can we not talk about... My condition?""Renexizious, you make it sound so dramatic. Dwarves have stubby legs, and they are rather adorable... Besides, your great grandfather was half-dwarven you know.""Mom, please...""I'm just trying to help you, ok?""I know, I know... And I love you for that.""Well, I love you too, Rennie."You give her a kiss on the check to appease her."I'm proud of you enslaving 12,00 humans... When I was your age, I had just over 40,000... Well, not all on me. I sold most to some rather wealthy Caliph in exchange for a magical sword and plenty of gold... You have nearly 16,000, I think...""Huh.""Anyways, make me proud, ok?" She pats you on the head (squishing one unfortunate man she didn't see... Or either cared about.)Actions.>Ok mom... Can you just raid the city now?>Can I have a hug?>What happened to those slaves?>If you want, I guess you can have a few of my slaves. I feel nice.>Mom... They're not my slaves.>...Well, one day I'll easily get past that.>...Hey uh... Just a question... Did you get me anything for my birthday?>Mom, there's more things you can do besides kill, enslave, loot, and pillage...>Why don't you kill the rest of the tankers and come back, ok?>Well, I can accept your advice I guess...>Write-inAlso anons... Anyone else terrified of election day tommorow?
>>803940>...Well, one day I'll easily get past that.>The elections Pic related
>>803940>...Well, one day I'll easily get past that.I'm optimistic about it but I can't help but hold a piece of fear and doubt within my heart.
"Well, one day I'll easily get past that, ok?""Aw, you think you can break my record... How cute." She says, with a hint of being amused.""Well, I can.""You can do anything you set your heart to... Or something. I erh... Is that the mortal quote?""...Yes?""Oh. Good... I erh... I'm still trying to handle this mother thing."Actions>Do you think I can't beat your record?>Well, your doing a great job being my mom.>Have you never raised a kid before?>I'm not a kid...>Well, to be frank your a wonderful mother, in case you can't tell.>If it makes you feel better, I sometimes feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.>...Why don't you practice with your slaves? You know, trying to practice being nice towards me towards them?>Mind if I ask what your records are? I plan on breaking them all.>That's it, I'm breaking that slave-owning records and soon.>Write-In
>>804002>That's it, I'm breaking that slave-owning records and soon.
"Well, that settles it. I'm breaking your slave-owning record and soon."She pats your head, slightly entertained."Well, feel free to have at it... If you get triple of what I have, I might just get you a present.""Really? Well, I'll take it into consideration.""Well, you have ambition and that's good... And no offense, but much more then your brother Richard... If only he was more ambitious and less... Well, good. He reminds me of my father a little too much..." She says."Erh... Don't like Richard much?""What? He's my first child, of course I love him... He just has a habit of being good and unambitious... If only I raised him instead of him being found by humans..."Actions>Mom, can you not say that stuff about Richard? I don't want to be your favorite...>If you want, one day I could make him like you... I think.>Come on, he's a great guy.>Well, let's stop talking... I have a lot to do.>Come on, why don't we break your 3 year old record together? It'll be fun.>So... How much is 120,000 slaves? As in, what's the nearest country?>I'll beat that in less then a month.>Write-in
>>804053>Well, let's stop talking... I have a lot to do.Kek, look at what I found.http://vocaroo.com/i/s0UyU99eKD8C
"Come on, let's stop talking... I have a lot to do."Quite a few people seem to be rushing away while you were distracted... About 1000 out of 11,000 of the slaves are fleeing...Actions>Ignore them.>...Make examples out of them?>Terrify them into coming back?>Focus on getting your people on your back to give you their money (Or servitude! Or you could just lie and ask for their money and enslave them anyways!)>Fly off... You have enough slaves.>Try to reason with the dutch escapees to come back?>Write-In
>>804080>Try to reason with the dutch escapees to come back?
>>804080>Fly off... You have enough slaves.German military at border. Just not make scene.
Fifteen more minutes anons.
Roll me a 1d20+3 to reason! Additional +2 if you can give a good argument to become your Not-Slaves/Colonists!
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>804139There will be untold riches and acres of land for you if you join me.
Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>804139If you keep running I'll just kill you all
Critical Success!"If you come with me, there will be untold riches and acres of land for you if you join me... But if you keep running, I'll just kill you all. Man, wife, and child... I bet you all taste delicious."After this slightly concerning comment, those who are running halt, thinking with their little minds whether to come or not. Either way, you grab them and begin to fly up in the air after having just enslaved most of the population of Amsterdam.Or just made them into colonists. Either way.So, we want to colonize?With slaves, yes.Why not just send them to factories or something? Just saying.Well, I want to set up a colony...We can just use our own people to do that... Half dragon people, mind you.Actions>Well, I was just lying to them about the colonization thing. We'll throw them into factories or something.>We need more test subjects actually... All those anti-fascists are beginning to run thin.>Why don't we make them enslaved servants? By that, I mean we make them "servants".>...Why don't we try to start a bigger cult of Khorne? He loves new followers.>I have an idea... Why don't we sell them? I bet the Egyptians will give us a fair price...>We need more slaves... Let's raid somewhere else.>Go for the city!>They're colonizing, no buts about it.>Let's send them to work in Hansodr... The factory city if you will.>Write-In for what else you'll do with them.
>>804254>They're colonizing, no buts about it.We should eventually start a space program. We can eventually make our own little interstellar empire. It could also serve as a gateway to a tertiary quest which is like a rogue trader but in EDQ universe and serving Ren.
>>804277This. It's fucking perfect.
They're colonizing, not buts about it.But uh... Where?Actions>That's easy... They'll be our first space colonists! If we can of course, get into space without dying.>How about that warhammer dimension? I mean, my refinery could always use more slaves...>How about... That D&D world? They could use that little hobbit place as a starting ground...>Let's send them to Wonderful Hitler Dragon Land.>Let's hold off on it.>Write-In
>>804323>That's easy... They'll be our first space colonists! If we can of course, get into space without dying.What's 'wonder Hitlers dragon land'?>>804319I remember talking about it during werewolf Reich quest 2. I also found a poll related to it. http://www.strawpoll.me/11391184/
Well, we're sending them to space!...Ok?Yeah, it'll be cool as fuck. Now... Where were we?You look out to Amsterdam... And see the German Empire's soldiers begin to encroach onto the territory. Your mom flies up with you, and you think you just helped the Germans out. Even if you did abduct the general populace...Actions>You should stop the Germans getting more territory... Turn around!>Who cares? Your son is the Co-Kaiser. He has SOME power.>Thank your mom for a great time out!>Write-in
>>804377>Who cares? Your son is the Co-Kaiser. He has SOME power.>Thank your mom for a great time out!
You thank your mom politely, and begin to fly homeward...After a little while, you remember Frankizka was hanging onto your feet, and eventually you land... And basically tell your slave- You mean, colonists to run off. So you shift down to your human form, and see Frankizka behind you... Only SLIGHTLY pissed.Slightly being a understatement, honestly. She also seems sick from the flight, and you wait until your mom leaves to talk."So, why did you follow me?""Well, mostly because I found your crying amusing. Also because there's very little to do and I was interested to see what would happen.""And were you pleased?""Hell no.""...I see.""First, attacking an entire city just because you feel like it? Second of all, forcibly enslaving their populace and ordering them to hand over their money? You basically declared war for no reason!""Come on, It wasn't war. Also, it was fun, you gotta admit."She seems angry."So you just attacked something because you felt like it?""Well... Yeah.""Why? Not to sound like a child, but you need a reason to just go into a town and attack it!""City.""I'm tired of your enslavement damn it. Can you just stop it with it?""Stop enslaving people?""No, being a massive asshole and just casually destroying the countryside and killing without reason!""That's kind of the main thing that a dragon does...""So? I thought you were better then them. You seemed eager to help me with Mousilion. I even heard you say that you were going to try and be a "good guy", and either you lied, or you have almost NO understanding of what a good person does.""Listen, this world needs a strong grip, an-""I don't want an explanation, damn it." She storms off, angry as hell.You know for a vampire, she's rather sensitive. And moralistic.Better then a edgy vampire.You know, I think it's that time of the month again with her...Actions>God, she just can't understand that dragons have a natural need to destroy things... And enslave, and be awesome.>You know... I think we need to reduce her morals a little. Just a little.>She'll get over it.>Honestly, who cares...>Fuck... I wish I had less wives at time, it would make my job a lot easier...>We need to make up our destructive and enslaving habits. Any ideas?>Write-In
>>804464>She'll get over it.>Honestly, who cares...We all know that she's too much in love with that dragon D
>>804464>We need to make up our destructive and enslaving habits. Any ideas?
She'll get over it eventually... But we need to make up for our destructive and enslaving habits. Any ideas?No one really answers....We could make a garden?I don't think she likes gardens.How about going on a personal date with her or something?She's not very social.[r/ed]...We could just tumble her?[/]i]...That wouldn't make up for it exactly.Fucketh, I don't know what a vampiric maiden would like.I mean, maybe food?Fenrir, we all love food but I don't think that... When was the last time she drank anything anyways?I think two weeks ago?Upon remembering, you note that she's been a little more pale then usual... Huh.Well, guess it IS that time of the month. To feed our wife.Actions>Come on, now we have an excuse to see her.>Maybe mutagen?>Tumbling isn't half a bad idea right now...>I like the idea on going on a date with her.>Maybe we should get her a present or something...>Eh, how about... Nothing? She's fine...>You know, maybe we should build something for her...>Maybe she'd like it if we let her make a few vampires in our court? I mean, what's a few more fangy friends?>...Maybe we could try to convert more people to her religion?>Write-In
>>804533>Come on, now we have an excuse to see her.
>>804533>Come on, now we have an excuse to see her.We should really get back to running our empire though
Come on, now we have an excuse to see her...You follow the angry vampire... Who seems to be going to a guest room? And goes up some stairs to the attic?You never actually knew you had an attic. Huh. So you begin to climb up the ladder much more loudly then she did, and crawl up... You don't see her, but you have a feeling she's in the room.Actions>Hey, I want to talk...>Until you apologize, I won't let you drink my blood.>Are you really pissed at the only person who can handle having their blood drunk?>Are you up here?>I just wanted to say that I didn't mean to offend you... I'm sorry, ok?>Wanna tumble? Oh, and drink my blood?>Write-In
>>804571>>Hey, I want to talk...>Wanna drink my blood?
"Frankizka? I want to talk? Also, do you want to drink my blood?"You hear a frustrated sigh and she comes out."Sure. Why not?" She says."Well, come on. Bite down. We'll talk after you drank a little..."She begins draining... Roll me a 1d20+6 to handle it!
Rolled 8 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>804608We got this
Rolled 4 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>804608
Rolled 15 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>804608
8+6=14Borderline Success!She drinks quite a bit from you... A little bit more then usual. She eventually stops biting on your neck, and you feel quite tired... And decide to rest on the floor just a little..."What did you want to talk about?"Actions>Well, I'm here to just apologize about pissing you off earlier.>That's all I wanted...>I'm not.. I'm not small am I? Is that the problem?>Can you just hug me? Please?>How is Chrysoula? I think I gave her some small burns earlier today...>Wanna head back to my bed? It's probably more comfy then this place.>I'm just apologizing for going out of character... I'm trying my best.>I need your help... I can't really control myself when it comes to evil...>Do you want to hang out some time?>Write-In
>>804625>I'm just apologizing for going out of character... I'm trying my best.>Do you want to hang out some time?
"Listen, I'm apologizing for going out of character, ok? I'm trying my best here. But do you want to hang out sometime?""I guess.""Great. I'll see you later, ok?""I know. I'm sleeping up here for tonight though.""Fine then."You begin to descend and close the hatch...Actions>You should see how Elizabeth is doing.>Eh, visit Chrysoula... You did slightly burn her after all.>Time to deal with problems... Now, what's on the agenda...>Holy shit, isn't it Halloween? You said you'd hang out with Julius! Maybe you should find him!>Maybe you should see where your dad is...>Write-In
>>804673>Holy shit, isn't it Halloween? You said you'd hang out with Julius! Maybe you should find him!Damn is our agenda perpetually full
>>804673>Time to deal with problems... Now, what's on the agenda...
Waiting fifteen more minutes anons.
Rolled 1 (1d2)Rolling1=Go to Julius!2=Deal with problems!
You decide to go to Julius, who you find getting dressed up in his new black robes in his guest room. Which he appropriated."Hey, Julius?"He turns around."Hey dad. You came?"'Well, yeah... I might be busy, but I try to make time for my family. Anyways, what's the plan?""I was erh... Getting ready actually.""Huh. So, mind if I ask why your doing this?""What? Halloween?""Well, yeah.""Erh... Well... I was mostly curious why people actually celebrate this holiday, after all it's roots are mostly rooted in paganic folklo-""Please don't go into a scientific lecture.""Right... Erh, sorry.'"No problem... So, any halloween parties with friends, girlfriends... Anything?""...No? I've never been popular, dad.""Right... Forgot you didn't have friends.""It's a waste on socio-economic timeframe to actually have friends as th-""No. Please no lecture.""It's erh... My thing though.""Please. No."He just kind of awkwardly scratches the back of his head."Well... I mean, alright. So... Any idea on how halloween works?""Nope.""Me neither... All of the books on it were childish.""I thought you'd read anything?""I have a modicum of self-respect...""You don't have friends though. Who'd judge you?'"That's a... That's actually a good point.""Thank you very much...""Anyways, let me just get my glasses...""Whow, hold on... You wear glasses? Since when?""Special glasses... Seeing in the dark fucks with your eyes like hell. So I erh... I wearing glasses.""Right... Well, look out in case anyone calls you four-eyed Julius.""...I fail to see how exactly having four eyes is a insult, as logically I'd be able to see things better...""Oh Julius... So, come on... Let's see... How are we doing this?""I think you need a costume... But uh, have anyone you want to bring along?""Any favorites?""I mean, I'd like to just hang out with you. But if you bring someone else, that's erh... Well, that would be... What's the word... Cooling?""Cooling?'"...I'm trying to at least try to be up to date on verbs.""It's cool... Now, what to bring along..."Actions>Let's see... How about Elizabeth?>Frankizka would love this holiday...>You know what? Other people can celebrate by themselves. Your hanging out with your nerdy vampire kid!>Why not Chrysoula? She kind of has a costume...>Let's bring Kryos.>Victor? The American?>Is Charlemagne here? I'd like to hang out with my sons.>Is Basil here?>Everyone!>Write-in
>>804856>Basil>Renexizia Halloween is ended several days ago. Just saying.
>>804898Wow, holy fuck thank you for your random trivia facts."Well, how about the family? Renexizia, Basil... Charlemagne...""Well, I mean it's up to you..." He seems slightly disappointed."Come on, it'll be fun..."I have a really, really good question. Is it a good idea to give Renexizia candy?Actions.>...Erh, nevermind her then. Nope.>Come on, what's the worst that could happen.>...We'll make sure to give her the candy without sugar...>Do you think she'd like it if we just asked for table butter?>...She'll be fiiiineeee.>Nevermind... Julius kind of just wants to be alone with me. So no other kids.>...Do you want Chrysoula along with you?>Write-In
>>804959>What could possibly go wrong?>We'll be fine.>I mean what's the worst that she could do?
>>804959>...She'll be fiiiineeee.np OP
Come on, what could possibly go wrong? We'll be fine. I mean, what's the worst she could do?She could go full omnomnom mode or something. Or she could try to befriend EVERYONE.Pleeeease. She's not going to go crazy or anything.You walk away, to find Renexizia...Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if she's been productive.Additional +2 if you can give me an idea for Renexizia's shenanigans.
Rolled 2 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>805008Goodbye stocks of butter.Hello new butter covered hallways
Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>805008How much longer until she reaches relative adulthood?
A week until she becomes a teen anon.10+6=16It takes you a while... But eventually you find Renexizia.In your dungeon.Shit.You go down, and see she's evaded the few traps you set up, and has made it to your library... Where you smell smoke from.OH FUCK NO SHE DIDN'T BURN YOUR FUCKING BOOKS!You rush into save Mein Kampf, but as you look in you see Renexizia... With a stick put through a book, which...Oh my God.It's Mein Kampf.She is cooking Mein Kampf over the firepalce. And she turns to see you."Hi dad!"You nearly faint as you see Hitler's face slowly melt away, looking disappointed. You settle for just going onto your knees.Hitler signed that book. "Dad? Is something wrong?""W-why?""Huh? Books taste good cooked! Want some?"She bites Mein Kampf and eats it. She smiles childishly and you curl up into a ball and begin to rock back in forth."Is something wrong?"You can't even answer as you look around your library, most of the books either damaged slightly or missing.You should of paid that extra 5 dollars for a childproof door...Renexizia comes over."Daaad? Are you ok?"You are slightly comatose."Is this about the books? I saved two books for you."She takes out your nazi scientist book... And...Mein Kampf.The signed version.You grab and hug it. You had many wild nights with this book, and Adolf's smiling face...You give it a slight kiss, and relax on the floor."So uh... What Mein Kampf did you eat?""Huh? I got that from some place called the Library! They said I could come any time to read their books! But in my opinion it tastes better cooked..."Actions>Hug her. Thank God she didn't burn YOUR copy of Mein Kampf.>Your grounded until I say you aren't. Got it?>Just pat her on the head. And rock back and forth a little.>...Can we just leave this place? I just... Please.>Never enter my dungeon ever again.>Where's your mom?>I can't fucking wait until your a week older...>Where's your friends?>...Have you ever gone on Halloween?>Oh shit... Where are those futuristic text books? You know, from the future! Try to find them!>Write-In
>>805125>zMy books are not for eating!>Oh shit... Where are those futuristic text books? You know, from the future! Try to find them!Those books were gonna revolutionize us damnit.
>>805125>Oh shit... Where are those futuristic text books? You know, from the future! Try to find them!wtf is Renexizia such a juvenile brat?
>>805155She destroyed Liz's palace.Ate the Eiffel Tower.And contemplated consumption of the Louvre Is less being a juvenile brat.She's just property damage incarnate She'll probably outdo us eventually
>>805165But why? Was she dropped as an egg or something?
"My books aren't for eating... You could of eaten something important!" You yell, frantically.. She seems to ignore you and hug you."I'm sorry... I didn't think they were important.""Seriously! Eat the library's books or something, but not MY books!"She looks upset."I'm sorry...""What happened to my textbooks? The future ones?""I mean, they looked important... So I was going to ask you if I could give it to Blondi...""They're ok?""Erh... I mean, they're kinda burned. I realized I should of asked about half way done roasting the pages..."You sigh, frustrated. At least it wasn't COMPLETELY destroyed.Actions>I'm sorry for raising my voice, I'm just... I'm just slightly traumatized.>Stay away from Mein Kampf, got it? It's valuable!>Hug her, she didn't exactly DESTROY them... Just damaged them.>...How did you even get down here anyways? The door's locked!>I'm getting alcohol.>Your grounded.>...Well... I mean, do you want to come with us on Halloween?>...What happened to my magic books?>Write-In
>>805193>...How did you even get down here anyways? The door's locked!>...What happened to my magic books?She's probably got autism
>>805187She's basically a more childish version of Ren with less self restraint and no superiority complex.>>805193>...What happened to my magic books?>Can you just go to the kitchen when your hungry? Or ask before you start eating things randomly?>...Well... I mean, do you want to come with us on Halloween?I'm worried about what a teenage Renexizia will be like
"What happened to my magic books?""I gave them to the guy!""The guy?'"Yeah, that guy who can't talk in the other room, with the really fast punches and greasy skin! Oh, and the scales!"Holy fuck we're never getting those books back ever again. She gave them to the toxic mantis-shrimp guy!You facepalm slightly..."How did you even get down here?""Mom left the door open!""I see... And can you just go to teh kitchen when your hungry? Or ask before you randomly start eating things?""But then it's no fun...""Please?""No, it's way more fun to eat random things even if It might get me in trouble!"You sigh a little bit..."Well... Just to prevent further damage, do you want to come with us on Halloween?""...What's that?"Actions>It's a uh... Holiday. We get free candy for talking to strangers and stuff.>...It's something fun and cool. And hopefully doesn't result in property damage>It has lots of tasty food... Are you still hungry?>Write-In
>>805238Goodbye magic books.>Renexizia if you keep eating random things you might get hurt. And I'm seriously thinking about grounding you. You can't eat another family members stuff. It's mean.>It's a uh... Holiday. We get free candy for talking to strangers and stuff. But if you keep randomly eating my stuff I'll ground you instead of taking you
>>805238>...It's something fun and cool. And hopefully doesn't result in property damageI dont trust her. Theres no way that Liz would've been careless enough to leave the door open. This can only mean one thing. She's a heretic of Khorne who is trying to undermine us! He's tainted her and his persona is all just a charade so that he can take over our world. She must repent!
RIP magic bookswe hardly knew ye"Well.. It's... It's something to avoid property damage. Now come on... Before I ground you or something. Just stop eating random stuff..."You of course begin to leave and try to find Charlemagne... Who you find sleeping in his old room, old nazi posters, the SS uniform he sometimes dresses his wife up in... Some books here and there... Oh, also the small collection of firearms and weapons from Germany WW2, a few nazi Germany flags... And of course, a large board with lots of notes, photos, and lines on it detailing his latest conspriacy theory. And the token Catholic cross above his bed of course."Dad, who's this?""This is... Charlemagne." You say, as you watch him grope his wife from the doorway."What's he doing?""He's sleeping. And hugging his wife.""She has a funny tail.""Yeah, although attractive... Anyways, why don't we wake him up?""Oooh! This will be fun!"She seems eager to rush ahead...Actions>Nah... Let's give him some time.>No, no rushing into his bed and jumping in. That'll scare both of them.>...Come on, let's slowly squeeze in with them. How weird can this be?>We can just knock on the doorframe though...>Don't touch anything. Please.>Write-in
>>805310>Nah... Let's leave him be.It's his personal time with his waifu.We should respect that.
>>805310>Nah... Let's give him some time.>No, no rushing into his bed and jumping in. That'll scare both of them.I do think that she is a agent of chaos or I'm just too paranoid
"Nah, let's just give him some time..."The two of you leave... And after a little while, you hear... Banging. It seems like they're tumbling in there. Huh.You quickly leave and dodge Renexizia's questions and try to find Basil... So you get on the Jesuscycle and zoom off to find him...After a little while you pull up to the curb of his dorm and get out... You do sort of notice it's abandoned... There's no cars out in the curb but yours, and the greasers are gone..."it's kinda spooky.""Well, it is Halloween.""...When can I drive a motorcycle? It's cool."Actions>No. No. No. No. You are NOT getting something that moves that fast.>...Would you like one with a few skulls and blood? I mean, that would look cool...>Let's just answer the door.>Sure... When you turn two weeks old.>Sure... When your sixteen.>If you want, you can drive my motorcycle when we leave!>Write-in
>>805360>Sure... When you turn two weeks old.And only if we supervise her.
>>805360>Sure... When you turn two weeks old.Calling it now. She's gonna smash our motorcycle.
"Sure, when you turn two weeks old.""Cool!"You pat her on the head and go up to the door... And knock. After a little while, one of the greasers answers."Hey, wazzup?"You hear halloween music... It seems this is a party."Where's Basil?""He's downstairs.""Thank you..."You begin going through the crowd of people, trying to keep your daughter close... It seems the walls are soundproofed too. Huh.Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if she gets curious by things. Additional +2 if you can distract her!
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>805409
Rolled 2 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>805409Maybe we can carry her on our shoulders?
9+5=14Borderline Success!You pick her up and head down the stairs, and flick on the light... You see him sleeping alone, making grunts in his sleep..."Basil?"He turns over, putting a blanket over his head."Come on... Just one more tumble..." He moans to no one in particular."...Right. Horny teen. Basil, get up."He groans a little bit in protest."Please?""Just five more minutes..."You wait five minutes."Now? Please?"He gets up and rubs his eyes..."Dad... Why are... Why were you watching me sleep?""Not imp-""Hi!" Renexizia yells. Basil blinks slowly and looks down at her... You see Basil put his hand on the floor, take out a meterstick taped to another meterstick, and try to poke the coffee pot ON button from across the room."...Give me an hour...""Do you always wake up this slow?""...Yes." He says, as he puts a blanket over himself."Nice to see you are not a morning person. It's fucking two PM, and here you are just making coffee and having dreams of tumbling.""Yeah...""...I know your pain."You feel a deep connection. You are NOT a morning person either."Dad?" Renexizia says."Yeah?""What's coffee?"Actions>...If you want, I can get you a cup.>Highly poisonous. Stay away.>No. You are not drinking coffee right now.>Have you never had coffee before? It's the only reason the Empire really still stands.>Shush... He's trying to get some sleep.>Write-in
>>805479>It's a grown up drink. It tastes very bitter and unpleasant.
>>805479>If you want I could probably get you a cup>what_could_possibly_go_wrong.jpg
>>805510Here's a small math question.What's 9/11*9/11^2+6 Gorillion?The answer may surprise you!Waiting ten more minutes anons.
"Well, it's a grown up drink. It tastes very bitter and unpleasant... But if you want, I can get you a cup.""Sure! Can you add things to it?""Yeah, like sugar..."After a little while, you hand her a cup of coffee...Roll me a 1d20+8 for how bad this is ending. Higher rolls are bad rolls.
Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>805556>High rolls are badThis is where we get 20sDice gods pls give me a one.
Rolled 5 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>805556
12+8=20Great Success?She drinks the coffee.. And she instantly gets more energy.She rushes up to you."We're gonna be best best best friends for forever and forever!!!! I'm gonna find more and more friends and I'm gonna hang with them and I'm gonna paint thie-"She begins to go a little crazy, running around the room with high energy... Dear God. Basil seems to be slowly getting up from the racket though."What's with the kid running around in here?""Renexizia, calm down!""NEVER!"She yells while poking things off tables in her half-dragon form."Wait... Is she breaking my plates?""Yes?""Eh... I can get new ones..."He says, as he goes over to his minifridge and pulls out a beer."Want one?""Sure."He passes you a beer and the two of your drink."...Why are you here?""Well, mind if I ask why your relaxing?""I called in sick...""Is that true?""No, I just needed sleep... Been studying too much.""Right...""Anyways, I was planning on hitting the bar later.""Really? Weren't you supposed to be really into economics? Why go to a bar?""I mean, economics is fun and all, but beer and women sounds better.""Finally entered puberty?""...I guess." He says as he sips from a beer.""Well, good for you. Took you a while.""Yeah... Anyways, how much money do you guess I'd have to spend on getting a girl to at least come over for a hour or two?""Eh, depends on the girl.""Damn... Wish you had the answers." He says again, drinking the beer."Yeah... I erh... I've never been good at that puberty thing and explaining it.""Yeah... Anyways, I got to get dressed... I've been working a little too much in my tanktop."He begins to get dressed as he drinks some coffee straight and you try to calm down Renexizia... After a bit he comes back out in much better attire, looking like a semi-wealthy business man with a nice coat and shirt."So... What are you over for today?" He says as he sips some coffee.Actions>It's Halloween. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me, Julius, and Charlemagne... And Renexizia.>...So, interested in girls now are you?>Well, this bar sounds kind of interesting... You trying to get tumbled or something?>Can you help me control Renexizia? I pretty much gave up...>Write-In
>>805664>Can you help me control Renexizia? I pretty much gave up...We could be doing stuff like sending Dutchmen into space or regaining our height but nooooooo. We're trying to gather our family for a Pagan ritual and trying to control our overly energetic daughter.
>>805664>It's Halloween and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me, Julius and Renexizia.>>805684We did promise the pagan ritual to Julius
"Well... It's Halloween and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me, Julius, and Renexizia."He blinks his eyes slowly."Wait... I thought... Great.""Overslept?""Yeah... I was planning to go to a bar, but I guess I can come.""Great."He sips his coffee again."So, mind if I ask why your going?"Actions>Eh... There might be attractive women giving out candy. Why not go?>It might be fun.>Come on, hug him. This will be fun!>Come on... Let's get costumes.>...I promised Julius I'd come with him.>Hey, if you want I bet I can help you get some girls.>Write-InAnyways, going to bed anons. Sorry.
>>805734>...I promised Julius I'd come with him.No problem Night OP
>>805695I'm just frustrated at how much time we waste doing stuff like this little Halloween thing. We've spent like 3 hours of doing a whole lot of nothing. We've just talked to family members about meaningless stuff and found out that Renexizia lost all of our magic books. It's just so unproductive.>>805734>It might be fun.
>>805745I feel that pain.When we finish this Halloween shit let's get straight into science.Before Renexizia finishes of our future books.
>>805761But you were the one who voted for doing stuff with Julius which lead us down this path...Also here's an idea for the future. We need to start collecting Nazi scientists to help with our space technology. Since Viktor is the president of the US and a lot of Nazi scientist went there, he might be useful.
>>805784I did that because we talked with flames about the near nonexistent amount of time we spend with our family.And don't we have a spy in America?I just realized we need more spies.
Okay, I don't really enjoy ranting and raving at anons, since I know we all have our reasons for our actions but this time I am confused as to what happened while I was away; We agree to be good, to not enslave, murder or destroy and yet when we are given a choice between no loss and a huge fucking fuck up that nullifies all our progress, what do you guys choose? Fucking up everything!I mean Jesus even if she wasn't there to see she would have eventually found out that this happened.Also we need to punish Renexizia and get started on the space program, internet and shit.
>>806436When did we promise not to enslave, murder and all that other stuff?Also I'm against the creation of the Internet. It'll lead to rampant autism.
>>806460We promised like 2 threads ago, though I might be wrong as to precisely when. To the point of actually doing... good acts.As to the internet, trust me it won't lead to that for at least a decade. Not to mention the alternative is we let the Americans invent it.
Hey anons, I'm back."Well... I promised Julius I'd come with him, and besides... Maybe it'll be fun." You say, rather unenthusiastic."If you don't want to go I could probably cover for you.""Really?""Well, yeah. I'll just say that you had to go do something last minute.""...Do you want anything in exchange?""Well, for a small payment of 2000 Swedish Marks, I'd be more then happy.""You want me to pay you for your help?""Well, yes. That's how the market works... But don't worry, I gave you a 45% discount since I'm related to you.""I see...""Besides, this is a limited time offer, and I don't think you want to be with Julius while he awkwardly asks for candy while you have important things to do...""That's... Well...""Think it over... It'll take you a few hours to go with him, trick or treating... And then you'd have to deal with your daughter's destruction... Which could take even longer... But right here and right now, you could avoid all that." He talks rather persuasively..."Well, I promised him...""He'll understand if you have to do something last minute. Trust me."Actions>...I already barely spend any time with him. I'm not going to pay you just so I can do something else.>...Well... I mean... I guess. But keep it between you and me, alright?>You know you could just ask me for the money...>Gladly. >How much will it cost for you to take care of Renexizia for me?>Write-in
>>806677>...I already barely spend any time with him. I'm not going to pay you just so I can do something else.>You know you could just ask me for the money...>How much will it cost for you to take care of Renexizia for me?
Waiting 25 more minutes.
>>806677>You know you could just ask me for the money...>How much will it cost for you to take care of Renexizia for me?
"I already barely spend any time with him. I'm not going to pay you just so I can do something else... And besides, you can just ask me for money.""Dad, I don't just ask people for money. That means I'm indebted to someone, and that could come back to bite me in the ass down the line.""Right... So, how much will it cost for you to take care of Renexizia for me?""Erh... Well, I guess five-hundred dollars?""Deal."You hand him the cash."Thanks... You know, I don't even remember the last time you actually wanted to do anything with your family besides with your wives.""Well... I'm busy a lot.""Yeah... How the hell do you get that many women anyways? Most women I ask out say they aren't "scalies" or "not interested.""Well... You want a woman?""As many as I can have, sure."Actions>Good on you then... So many of your brothers are monogamists...>Erh, take my advice... Don't get married. It cuts into you time.>If you want, I could give you advice.>Do what Revenaris did, give them stockholm syndrome.>Give him some advice on how to get women?>Come on, don't get into that attitude. Most people can handle just one wife...>Come on, let's just find Charlemagne...>Have you tried asking out half-dragons?>Why don't we talk a little bit?>Write-in
>>806724>Give him some advice on how to get women?I was going to do a write-in, but fuck iOS10.
"Well... Let me tell you some advice then..."Roll me a 1d20+4 for advice giving... Additional +3 if you can write-in draconic dating advice.
Rolled 2 + 7 (1d20 + 7)>>806836Kidnapping is always and I mean always a viable option.
Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>806836
>>806846He's going to black so many people.
Critical Success."Well, in my professional opinion, kidnapping is always a option. Always.""Really? Hm..."He gets out a notepad. Something (As in Flames) tells you to be slightly concerned that your telling a horny teen that it's completely alright to kidnap people for tumbling.Actions>This is a terrible idea. Just go silent.>Just saying that ladies tend not to like getting kidnapped.>But also just saying, that kidnapping and tumbling people isn't as good as actually winning a woman's charm.>Pro-Tip: Get a vampire. They're masochists at heart, Basil.>Give him another Pro-Tip: Always tumble in your dragon form. Always. Ladies love it.>Make up another Pro Tip?>Give him more advice!>Erh... Just saying try OTHER options first.>Your turning your son into a sauve ladykidnapper. Who cares?>Write-in
>>806876>Write-InThere's a sacred trinity when it comes to being a dragon and having sexual relationships. 1) Kidnapping is always a viable option unless if the target is a VIP.2) You should always be charming. Enough to woo the hearts of princes and princesses. 3) Tumble oftenAlso don't be gay.
>>806876>Just saying that ladies tend not to like getting kidnapped. It's a fast way to get them, but you need to prove yourself to them to win them over.
>>806876>Make up another Pro Tip?Women like men who are skilled and respected; artists, musicians, chefs, athletes and such. But girls like men who are wild, interesting and different; jocks, Casanovas and the other such stereotypical ideals of courting.Most importantly though; almost all people, men or women, elves or dwarfs or orcs, like powerful people. Power is something most find intoxicating and thus being with you will grant them some, in theory, and thus they want you.Lastly, people, generally and almost always will love those who care, and who show it. This doesn't apply to most short term relationships but still.Lastly, gifts that are hand made, personal and high quality or rare are an effective way of courting or getting favour.
"Well, there's a sacred trinity when it comes to being a dragon and having sexual relationships... First of all, kidnapping is always a viable options, unless it's a very important person... And you should always be charming. Enough to woo the hearts of princesses... Tumble often... And don't be gay. Please.""I'm not gay.""Good. That's a very good start... Now, just saying that ladies tend not to like being kidnapped, it's a fast way to get them but you'll need to prove yourself... And here's a professional tip... Women like men who are skilled and respected; artists, musicians, chefs, athletes and such.But girls like men who are wild, interesting and different; jocks, Casanovas and the other such stereotypical ideals of courting.Most importantly though; almost all people, men or women, elves or dwarfs or orcs, like powerful people. Power is something most find intoxicating and thus being with you will grant them some, in theory, and thus they want you.Lastly, people, generally and almost always will love those who care, and who show it. This doesn't apply to most short term relationships but still.Lastly, gifts that are hand made, personal and high quality or rare are an effective way of courting or getting favour."He writes this down quickly."Anything else?""Well, that should cover it.""Right, well... I'll put it to good use then.""Yeah, good luck then.""...Quick question, what exactly counts as hand-made?""Well... Things made by hand, that sort of thing.""Does it matter if it's made by me or not?""Well, you could always lie..."For the next thirty minutes you begin teaching your son some hot tricks and tips, and after a bit... Well, he has a large knowledge of how courting works."Thanks... I'll make good use of this in the future."Actions>Good. Just don't go full deviant.>...First, you have a glaring problem. You live in a fucking basement. In a dorm. And you have a roommate... Get a proper lair, let me tell you...>You know, this was fun... Anything else you want to learn?>Now, if only Julius was interested in actually tumbling.>So... If your asking me this, you must have someone you like. Mind if I ask who?>I expect a lot of children. Just saying.>...Mind if I ask what your plans are in the future?>Write-in
>>806979>Good. Just don't go full deviant.>...Mind if I ask what your plans are in the future?We should probably tell him about Slaanesh. We don't want his soul to be claimed by that weirdo.
>>806979>...First, you have a glaring problem. You live in a fucking basement. In a dorm. And you have a roommate... Get a proper lair, let me tell you...>Write-in"If you want you could help me with a project or two in future and in return I'll see about getting you a proper lair; secure, isolated, great view..."
>>806985Oh shit yeah, mention that. Make sure if he is going to worship some daemonic being that it is khorne.
>>806994Let's not pull a Emperor of mankind and tell Basil and some of our other children about chaos so they don't fell to it. Although I'm already afraid for Renexizia considering she got a vial from Tzeentch and threw it into a lizardmen hatchery.
"Good. Just don't go full deviant.""Of course not, I just asked for advice, not that I have any plans to try and do anything strange like you.""...Erh...""But anyways...""Just saying, you have a glaring problem. You live in a fucking basement. In a dorm. And you have a roommate... And my advice is that you get a proper lair.""Unless it overlooks college grounds, that might be a slight problem.""Ah, right... Well, if you want you could help me with a project or two in the future, and in return I'll see about getting you a proper lair; secure, isolated, great view...""I don't really need a lair right now. I have too little money and slaves...""You have slaves?""Well, not yet.""Hm... By the way, have you heard about any deity called Slaanesh?""...Erh... I think.""Wait, really? How?""...I sell tabletop figurines as a part time job at the gamestore.""Oh...""Yeah, halloween apparently draws out the people who enjoy dressing like some of the people from the Warhammer Fantasy universe, you know the guys... Wearing Chaos marks.""Huh.""Anyways... Isn't he supposed to be the god of lust or something?""Well... Yes.""I'm not that sexual, God. Now... If there was a god of commerce, you have my attention. But anyways... What did you want help with in the future?"Actions>I don't know yet, honestly.>Wait a minute... People dressing up like people from the Warhammer universe?>Come on, let's get going.>Any interest in science?>You know, we should hang out more often.>So... Why don't we talk about why dragons need lairs?>I'm not saying YOU will... I'm just saying that so you'll be careful.>...Are you sure you aren't Jewish?>Write-in
>>807018>Come on, let's get going.
"Come on, let's just get going, ok?""Got it."The two of you then realize that Renexizia has... Well, while you were giving advice, left for upstairs.Roll me a 1d20+6 for what's the worst that could happen for an extremely hyper child.
Rolled 3 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>807054
Is low good or bad right now?
3+6=9She seems to be very excited, and goes up to random strangers to talk... You grab her, and pull her away and she practically cannot remain still.Great.So of course you drive back carefully, and head to Charlemagne's room... Where you still hear him sleeping with his wife.He must be tired as fuck if he's been spending the last three hours both sleeping and tumbling... So you knock on the door, and hear him sigh... And the door opens to a... Huh. A larger Charlemagne. He's grown...Or you've just gotten shorter.Or both.Or it could just be the fact he's in his half-dragon form while your in your human form."Hey... Charlemagne?"He yawns."Yeah?""Can you go to your human form?""Sure..." He shrinks down to his human form, and you do note he's... Well, slightly taller then you now... He also sports a thick full beard and has a few scars on his face...[red}"You uh... Look different.""Huh?" He scratches his beard."Yeah... You had a goatee before... You look different.""Trying to rule your realm is hard enough sober, let alone with a wife... But... What did you want?""I was wondering if you wanted to come with me for Halloween.""No. It's a pagan heresy. Also, I'm really fucking tired."Actions>Seriously? Come on, it'll be fun...>There's candy.>Did you meet my new overhyper daughter yet?>I don't blame you.>Alright... We're going now. See you.>How stressful was ruling the empire?>How was your brother Julius? Did he help you much?>How did VIktor teach you?>...I was going to try and teach you how government worked, but I sort of forgot. Sorry.>...Are you sure you still want to be heir? You sort of made shit a lot harder for me since I came back...>God, you and your catholic values...>...I have a hypothetical question... If I died, how would you rule my empire?>Make any new friends?>Write-In
>>807117>I don't blame you.Can we just ditch this whole Halloween thing. We should be in the lab attempting to regain our height, starting new religions or something productive.
>>807234I was going to mention that we still need to figure out space travel, the internet, crystal power, computers and all that shit but wanted to leave it until after halloween. Thus I'll just ask you to delay that for a few hours. I mean, how long can people be awake giving out canday for?
"I don't blame you...""Yeah... So, go on without me I guess... Anyways, anything else you want help with when I wake up?"Actions>...Well, I might need a lot of help doing science... Are you good at all at it?>Well, maybe when I'm done doing a lot more things later.>...Can you rescue me somehow? I really don't want to do this Halloween thing...>Why don't we talk later?>Come on, come with us. It might be fun. Or interesting...>...Quick question, how does one get a Yuan Ti as a wife? I'm asking for a friend.>Write-in
>>807251>...Well, I might need a lot of help doing science... Are you good at all at it?
>>807251>...Well, I might need a lot of help doing science... Are you good at all at it?>>807241I agree with all of this except the Internet. I just think that it's a gateway to untold amounts of autism and it doesn't serve a lot of purpose to us.
"Well, I might need some help doing a lot of science... Are you good at it?""Erh, no. I'm... Not at all. Why?'"Damn... I have a lot of things to research.""Well, good luck then..."He yawns."If you want to talk to me, just ask... I'm going to sleep now.""Yeah.'"...So, just a question... You didn't come back with another wife, did you?""What? No.""Shit, I lost the bet...""You made a bet if I got a new wife?""Well, yes. You nearly always get another damned women besides mom.""Don't like it?""No, not at all..."Actions>Well... Chrysoula's sort of my new wife. I've just entered tumbling relations with her...>Oh don't worry, I won't disappoint you any time soon. I'll have a new wife soon enough, hell you might even win a bet.>...I'm sorry I can't really contain myself with only your mom.>Pat him on the head?>Yeah, well see you around...>I don't know why YOU don't get a second or third wife. It adds a lot to life you know.>Listen, if you want to hang out soon, just ask... I know the fact that I have more wives upsets you, ok?>Listen, I may... Just may, go back to being semi-monogamist... May.>When I get back, you and I are talking about religion... Because I think you might be interested in talking about it.>Come on, don't knock it until you try it.>Write-In
>>807296>Listen, I may... Just may, go back to being semi-monogamist... May.>Yeah, well see you around...If we do find another wai- I mean wife, it'll probably be for Solaire. Maybe something unique and pure like a nymph.
>>807296>Pat him on the head?>Listen, if you want to hang out soon, just ask... I know the fact that I have more wives upsets you, ok?>>807316Ha! If we are getting him a waifu it is going to be a kobold; the image of a dragon knight saving a kobold "princess" from a bunch of humans if quite funny!
You pat him on the head."You know, I may just go back to being at least SEMI monogamistic... Maybe.""R-really?" He actually seems... Very surprised.You just pat him on the head."But, if you want to hang out soon, jut ask. I know the fact I have more wives then you upsets you.""Seriously? Your actually considering that?"Actions>Well... Just for you, I guess.>Just pat him on the head. Let him believe that your considering it at the least.>No, sorry.>Well, semi-mongomastic in that every wife has it's corresponding head...>Get going before you make promises you can't keep!>I'm considering it, I promise.>Just give me a call soon, ok?>One day you'll grow up and get over this childish motion of "monogamy.">Well, I was thinking about adding another adorable wife...>Write-In
>>807329>Well, semi-mongomastic in that every wife has it's corresponding head...Jokingly say that we can therefore currently have four wives, before vigorously waggling our eyebrows.>I'm considering it, I promise.>Just give me a call soon, ok?>Get going before you make promises you can't keep!
>>807329>Just give me a call soon, ok?What ever happened to Victoria? If she's absent then I might have an idea on what she can do. Colonizing the moon. All our other kids are busy doing something else I think.
"Well... Semi-mongomastic in the fact that every head has it's own wife... Which means I can have four wives..." You waggle your eyebrow vigoriously."But, don't worry, I'm considering it... I promise, ok? Just give me a call soon... And I got to go.""Erh, thanks for at least considering it.""No problem."You leave and begin to do that halloween thing with Julius.Roll me a 1d20+4 for how well this goes with a overhyper kid, a vampire lord, and a jude- I mean, your economic child.
Rolled 3 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>807363I still think that Halloween is a unfun waste of time. Just buy the candy for super cheap.
Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>807363>>807369Halloween is a good event, assuming you enjoy dressing up, scary movies and such.
Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>807363
>>807373Sounds pretty gay tbqh
10+4=14It goes...It's interesting.Julius gets mad and in a argument with someone about the merits of "aerodynamic robes" and how he looks like an edgy teen. This results in you having to pull away Julius from drinking the guy's blood as he says vampires are "shitty teen flics" and "are magical realm faggots".Renexizia acts... Well, better in a sense. She tips over a few mailboxes, and does not realize that you are supposed to take only one candy, resulting in her obliviously taking baskets of candy. Basil helps her in this, and later the two of them sell the candy for triple the cost to a house who has run out of candy. Julius just kind of wants to talk to you during most of this, rather then actually go for candy, but Renexizia seems to have lots of fun just stealing baskets of candy and selling them back with Basil's help.Of course, you have to tell Julius to not "make fun of the people who dress up as vampires" as he seems a little insulted by some portrayals of vampires, and you decide to spend time hitting on women in costumes. Eventually, you and your family head home, having gotten two token candy bars and having five-hundred dollars from stolen candy."Well, that was...""Kind of boring?" Julius says."Yeah, I guess... I was expecting more honestly.""Well, at least you didn't have people dress up like you and try to impersonate vampires...""Well, there was this one girl...""It was fun!" Renexizia says, While Basil looks at his money greedily."Economically speaking, it was decent."You and your family part ways... Julius comes with you though."Hey, uh... Thanks for hanging out with me. It was fun. Even if it was boring.""Yeah, no problem... Also, what's your problem with people dressing up with vampires?""Because they're either try-hards or retarded teenagers..."Actions>Come on, look on the brightside... At least they didn't think you sparkle or anything. That would... That would be gay as fuck.>Oh don't worry, one day they'll get it right.>Want to help me do science?>...You should see the movies. They're better.>You know how most families come home with candy instead of dollars? Yeah.>Let's never celebrate Halloween again. It's just an American consumerist holiday.>Sooo... When was the last time you drank blood?>Write-In
>>807414>Want to help me do science?>Let's never celebrate Halloween again. It's just an American consumerist holiday.
>>807414>Oh don't worry, one day they'll get it right.>Sooo... When was the last time you drank blood?>Want to help me do science?
"Well, yeah. Want to help me do science?""Sure, sounds like fun.""Yeah... But don't worry about the vampire try-hards. They'll get it right one day... Say, when was the last time you drank blood?""A month ago?"Just pointing out that unless you want to become a vampire, we're already pretty low on blood... Most of it was drained by our wife last night... And if another vampire drinks from our blood, we might just contract it or be medically unable to actually do anything for a while.Actions>...Yep, you need blood. Come on, bite onto my neck... Who cares if you might become slightly disabled for a while or a vampire if he drains it all?>...Well, can you wait a few days?>When in doubt... Slaves.>You know, why don't you ask your mom for blood?>...Just saying, you really should take Frankizka's advice NOT to drain completely... It's a lot better for PR.>Write-In
>>807454>You know, why don't you ask your mom for blood?>...Just saying, you really should take Frankizka's advice NOT to drain completely... It's a lot better for PR.
>>807454>When in doubt... Slaves.Some of them may die but it is for a great cause.
"You know, why don't you ask your mom for blood? And just saying, you should follow Frankizka's advice to not drain completely... It's a lot better for PR.""It's hard to control myself, ok?""I know, I know. I'll meet you down in the laboratory, alright?""Got it."You make your way down into the laboratory to do SCIENCE with your son...You have about six surviving human Anti-Fascists being used as test subjects, and ten Minotaur felons being used as test subjects...What will you do?>Research into mutagens!>Research into more drugs!>...You are extremely curious... Try out the effects of Muslek on one of your test subjects!>...Test out weaponry?>...You have an idea... Space. The final frontier... Try to make a space shuttle?>Try to read the damaged books?>...You need to get your spellbooks back from the mantis shrimp half-dragon. Now.>Try to make basic survival equipment for colonization on the moon?>You need more test subjects, and soon.>...You should get Lorriana to help.>Try to figure out how to use that enviromental mutagen crystal for power... Oh, and name it.>Come up with enviromental mutagens?>Try to figure out computers?>Try to figure out the internet?>You need more loyalty from your slaves... You have a few ideas.>You need to come up with something in case you run out of meat or butter in the future... Hm...>You have laser weaponry, but you don't have any actual laser guns... Try making a new gun for lasers!>...Eh, Flames did say that more mutagen on Chrysoula would be nice. Put that on your list.>You sort of want to mutate Frankizka and see what would happen...>Maybe you should get Julius to infect one of your prisoners with vampirism... Just so you have a undead test subject.>You need to be bigger... Come up with ideas...>Let out the Anti-Fascist humans... They've been in here for two years, probably seen horrors beyond compare...>Write-In
>>807501>You have laser weaponry, but you don't have any actual laser guns... Try making a new gun for lasers!We need them in case of any ayy lmao's we find in the moonl
>>807501>Research into mutagens!Fix our legs.And stop taking risky mutations.
Waiting ten more minutes!>>807552Just saying that there's no ways to directly fix this mutation without getting a mutation naturally to counteract it... Unless you want to think of something that will make your legs look bigger or you to look bigger, and it will still have the "strange and slightly shortening" effect on you.
>>807650I think that our legs are of little concern. As long as they don't completely cripple us and make us look freakish, it's fine.
>>807655If anything they just make you more adorable.Rolling.1=Research into Mutagens!2=Lasers!/Also, going off for a while, watching Flordia election.
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>807676
>>807676This election is fucking suspenseful. I'm having a hard time seeing Virginia going while Ohio and North Carolina are blue.Also Corgi'sa re indeed adorable
Corgi Dragon forever.I have 100$ bucks on this election, and I already can't fucking wait.Mutagens it is...Actions>Try to counteract your shortness! (Note, you cannot get rid of your stubby adorable legs.... So you'll have to think of something to increase in height.)>You never made a half-dragon mutagen for a minotaur before... Test it!>Try adding wings to half dragons!>...Try adding a second head to half dragons?>You have your own idea for a mutagen! (Write-In for ideas!)>Ask Flames for ideas!>...Try to mutate vampirism?>Try to make a mutation for Frankizka or Chrysoula?>Try to explore further mutations in dragon science?>Try to make animals into draconic creatures?>Try to make enviromental mutations?>...Try to get your claws on Yuan-Ti and Lycanthropes for SCIENCE! Oh, and dwarves!>Try to make Yuan-Ti more adaptable to human equipment to reduce the cost of equipping them!>Write-In
>>807734>Try adding wings to half dragons!
>>807734>Try adding wings to half dragons!Eventually making Earth completely Draconic and making the Intersteller Empire of Draconic Sweden is my goal but let's just get things started slow and steady.
You decide to add wings to half-dragons... This of course will take some time...Roll me a 1d20+5 for adding WINGZ AND SHIEEET.>>807749B-b-but muh diversity!This isn't real Sweden!It's almost... It's almost like it's FANTASY sweden!
Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>807755>It's almost like it's FANTASY sweden!No way
Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>807755
Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>807755
>>807764I know. What a stunning new development.11+5=16Borderline Success!You get one of your human prisoners and fuck with their genes a little... After a little bit, they just grow vestigal wings in their dragonblood form... Your getting SOMEWHERE at the least... However, there's a slight problem... In order to allow for flight for a half-dragon and let them be less inconvenienced, you'd have to get rid of their heavy bone structure... Their heavy scales... Unless you wanted to further increase the wingspan, which will make life a lot harder, not to mention increase the cost for making this...But you could always just try to give this to the dragonbloods, which averts the problem anyways...Actions>Try to make working large wings for half dragons!>Try to reduce the weight of half-dragons and give them wings!>Try to give dragonblood wings?>Eh, vestigal wings are good enough for now... Add it to half-dragons or dragonblood.>Try something else, this isn't worth it...>Write-In for ideas.
>>807808>Try something else, this isn't worth it...This is fine the way it is.
>>807819So just have vestigal wings for dragonbloods only?
>>807839Eh... may as well add it to both half-dragons and dragonbloods.
You decide to try and add it to half dragons...Roll me a 1d20+5 to extend vestigal wings to half-dragons!Quick question anons... Do you want to make this a medicine to turn people into dragonbloods? But with WINGZ and shit?
Rolled 13 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>807877I'm kind of skeptical of doing that, I'm very meticulous with stuff and think it should be reserved.
Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>807877>vestigial wingsWow, it's fucking nothing. Wings that are only for show and hinder dragonbloods in day-to-day life.Rolling for real fucking wings for dragonbloods.
>>807905>Not completely remaking the architecture to better suit Draconic beings
13+5=18Success!You finalize getting vestigal wings to half-dragons, and you store the submutagen...With that, you finish up... Although slightly pissed off that you only got vestigal wings. It's fucking nothing.Actions>You demand a refining... Try to get real wings for dragonbloods.>Try to get wings for half-dragons...>Eh, work on something else.>Throw it away, it's useless really.>Write-In
>>807925>Work on something elseA way to fix our height.I have an idea
>>807928Mind if I ask what it is?
>>807925>Eh, work on something else.>>807928Shorter legs aren't that bad.
>>807931Just increase the size of our body as a whole.Both width height and length evenly across our whole body.Basically our legs would still technically be short and stubby compared to our body as a whole But our whole body would be bigger.
>>807928Tell us, anon!Also, I'm really fucking mad right now because I'm forced to take public transit and the bus is over 90 minutes late.
>>807939Anon, but that's the same fucking thing as Large. It would be better to just alter the dwarven bits of our DNA with a mutagen.
>>807939But we'll stubby legs in comparison.
Small problem anon, sorry.The only way Ren can become bigger OVERALL without bad side-effects is through normal mutation... So you have to mutate a specific bodypart, or try to come up with a prosthetic.Also, if you do want to do that, I have to come up with a severe drawback...
>>807953Oh well fuck that then let's read our damaged future books.Before someone finishes them off
You decide to work on something else...>Research into mutagens!>Research into more drugs!>...You are extremely curious... Try out the effects of Muslek on one of your test subjects!>...Test out weaponry?>...You have an idea... Space. The final frontier... Try to make a space shuttle?>Try to read the damaged books?>...You need to get your spellbooks back from the mantis shrimp half-dragon. Now.>See your wife's notes on Julius's vampirism...>Try to make basic survival equipment for colonization on the moon?>You need more test subjects, and soon.>...You should get Lorriana to help.>Try to figure out how to use that enviromental mutagen crystal for power... Oh, and name it.>Come up with enviromental mutagens?>Try to figure out computers?>Try to figure out the internet?>You need more loyalty from your slaves... You have a few ideas.>You need to come up with something in case you run out of meat or butter in the future... Hm...>You have laser weaponry, but you don't have any actual laser guns... Try making a new gun for lasers!>You sort of want to mutate a friend... (Specify Who)>Maybe you should get Julius to infect one of your prisoners with vampirism... Just so you have a undead test subject.>Write-In
>>807967>Try to read the damaged books?
>>807967>Try to figure out how to use that enviromental mutagen crystal for power... Oh, and name it.Zone Troopers when?
You decide to read your books right after you figure out how to use enviromental crsytal mutagens... And that's when Julius comes down."Dad?""Yeah?""Mom didn't allow me to drink off her... She says she won't fund my vampirism and to ask you."Actions>...Just drink from my slaves, ok?>How much blood do you want?>Fine, I'll let you drink a little.>Ask one of my wives...>Ask Charlemagne or something...>Write-In
>>808020>Fine, I'll let you drink a little.
>>808020>...Just drink from my slaves, ok?>Although once you're done do you want to help me with something?
"Just drink from my slaves, ok?""Right.. I'll be back in a bit."After a little bit he comes back, blood covered on his face."Done... Just saying that you should get eight more slaves. They seemed to have run out of blood.""Dead?""Well, naturally yes..."You sigh a little bit..."Alright, alright. Can you help me?""Sure... What did you need help with?"Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can read the books.
Rolled 4 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>808056
Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>808056
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>808056
10+4=14Minor failure!You fail to decipher the books... Shit.And you hear a bell ring... Frantically. You head up to see your head servant looking concerned."Yes? What is it?""Erh... The United Nations has declared your recent attack on the Netherlands as "unlawful" and is... Well, they demand all Dutch citizens to return, and reparations for damages paid...""Really? And what if I refuse?""They haven't stated... But it's very likely to escalate..."Actions>Tell the U.N secretary general to go fuck himself. I'm not paying or sending back SHIT.>...Fine. I'll return them. But I'm not paying them anything.>I'll return them... And I'll pay for it, just to avoid escalation...>...We'll send them back... But different... Muahaha... Get the mutagens out.>Tell them the Dutch are now our hostages...>So... Who's a part of the UN?>Write-in
>>808101>So... Who's a part of the UN?Write-in>Tell the UN that we saved those Dutch civilians from the approaching German army. It wasn't done with malice.
"So... Who's part of the UN?""The current leader is the USA, but currently Germany, Britain, France... Since it's a vassal, along with China, Japan, India... The Egyptian Caliphate... Saudi Arabia... Oh, and the Netherlands...""Oh. Can you tell the UN that we saved the Dutch from the German Army?""They won't buy that, I think... There's reports that you enslaved them by the Germans."Actions>Who cares? The UN can't do shit.>...Come up with an excuse? (Write-In)>The Germans only want their people back so they can oppress them, obviously...>Tell them to stop trying to enforce racism or something. Might as well since your a different race.>...Send an ambassador to represent me.>Write-In
>>808129>>Who cares? The UN can't do shit.
>>808129>The Germans only want their people back so they can oppress them, obviously...
"Who cares? The UN can't do shit.""Erh... I mean, silence is golden I guess...""Now, is there anything else?""Erh, your wife Elizabeth wants to use your laboratory, and the Germans sent you a letter, and some beer.""Really?""I think they're thanking you for helping them regain control of the Netherlands."Actions>How sweet of them... I love German beer.>Throw the beer out. It's probably poisoned.>Tell my wife to wait a while, ok?>Fine, guess fun time is done down here.>Write-In
>>808151>Fine, guess fun time is done down here.But take our future books with us if we can.We need to decipher that shit.>How sweet of them... I love German beer.
>>808151>Fine, guess fun time is done down here.>How sweet of them... I love German beer.Now might be a good time to find God(s)
You nod and take your burned books... And you yawn. You realize your kind of tired, and your servant stops you."Erh... Also, someone called Vilda is here to see you."Your old concubine... Huh.Actions>Tell her I'll see her after I wake up, ok?>...Tell her to see me in my bed, ok?>...I should get Viktorious over here to see his mom then.>...Tell her I'll tumble her in a little bit, ok? I'm tired...>Eh... Tell her to fuck off.>Write-In
>>808173>Okay I'll go see her.
"Ok, I'll go see her."You go to see Vildia... And after a little bit, you head to the front door, tired... And you open it to a rather large, red half-dragon...Who you still admit, is rather attractive with fine... Tracts of land."Hi. Nice to see you again, Ren. So, accepted the red master race yet?"Actions>Sorry, but I have pride for the white race.>Shake her hand?>Chest bump. She's a wrestler, so this is perfectly acceptable...>Hey, how's being a wrestler?>Well, red is rather attractive, like you.>Come inside. I've sort of missed you.>Write-In
>>808187>Shake her hand?>Come inside. I've sort of missed you.
>>808187>Sorry, but I have pride for the white race.
You shake her hand, which is rather strong..."Come inside, I've sort of missed you. But just saying, I have pride for only one race... The White race."She laughs slightly, and she goes in with you in her business-like suit. Huh.The two of you go sit down by a table."So, how have you been?""Good.""Yeah. I erh... I didn't have much to do since my family lost their estates. So I took up wrestling.""I see."She flexes slightly, and if you had to say, she'd be equal in strength to YOU."Yeah, even got THESE babies.""Impressive. Not as good as mine though.""You wish... But anyways, I haven't been keeping with the news... And what's with your legs? Sort of remind me of a dwarf.""Heheh... Yeah. A dwarf..."You look down slightly, a little angry."You alright?""Y-yeah. Now, why don't we talk about something else besides my legs?""Right... Well, want a drink then? Mead?""Sure."After a bit a slave bring you a mead and rushes away."Slaves? Huh. Don't remember any slaves back when I was around."Actions>Well, you don't see a lot of slaves when you red dragons and half-dragons come into play...>What? They add to property values.>You know, why don't we just skip to talking about your son...>You know, I actually did miss you.>Do YOU have any slaves?>Why don't we fight together? I bet my white scales will beat your ass in a wrestling match.>Did YOU miss me at all? Just curious.>Write-In
>>808254>Eh. Things change I guess. >Did YOU miss me at all? I'm curious.
>>808254>What? They add to property values.>Did YOU miss me at all? Just curious.
"Well, things change... And they add to property values.""Well, eh, your a dragon I guess... You don't abuse them or anything, right?""Of course I don't.""Well, that's good...""Just curious... Did YOU miss me at all?""Well, there was great sex... But that was really it.""Yeah, we didn't talk at all really.""Eh. I was a concubine. Not really a friend, a wife, or anything. Did you miss me? And it's fine if you say you didn't."Actions>Well, I can't make love to a woman without loving them...>I sort of missed you.>Eh, I didn't really know you too much. Sorry.>I didn't really know you too much... But I bet I can get to know you better.>No, I haven't even thought of you since you left.>...Do you want to come back?>Well... Yes?>Well, I missed all of my concubines...>Write-inQuick question, did Trump win Florida?
>>808295If I'm reading things correctly yes.>Well I regret not talking you.>...Do you want to come back?
>>808295>No, I haven't even thought of you since you left.>...Do you want to come back?
"Well, I regret not talking to you... But not really.""Oh. Well, that's fine. I'd be surprised if you did.""Did you want to come back?""Eh, being concubine is a little degrading, and I'm more then a sexual worker...""Ah."Actions>Well, I mean, it's fine if you want to come back.>Come on, I loved you and your fine tumbling skills...>I see... I never really talked to you or the other concubines. I'd be surprised if any of you actually liked me.>A female wrestler? Please, people only watch you just to get a hard-on...>Well, I mean... Being a concubine isn't so bad. I'd treat you just like one of my other wives.>...If you want, I could marry you.>Come on, a concubine, degrading? You tumbled a dragon, for christ's sake.>Well, we could always take it from the top. Hi, I'm Renexizious.>So, why are you here then?>...I might not of missed you, but I did like you.>Eh, you weren't my favorite, no offense.>Let's talk about something else...>Write-In
>>808353>So, why are you here then?Also ask her how she feels about being half dragon.
>>808353>I see... I never really talked to you or the other concubines. I'd be surprised if any of you actually liked me.
"So, why are you here then?""Eh, I wanted to see you and my son. How he's doing, that sort of thing.""I see. How do you like being a half dragon?""Well... I'm still a little pissed that you fucking spiked me two years ago and now I'm this, but I actually kind of like it. Able to breathe fire, knock people around, intimidate... Yeah. So thanks, even if I didn't want it.""Cool. Cool.""Did you want me back?""Didn't I ask you this?""This entire conversation is awkward, honestly.""...Yeah. Sorry about that.""It's fine.""Yeah. I never really talked to you or the other concubines... I'd be surprised if any of you liked me.""Well, I did like you towards the end for protecting me and the others. But yeah. I didn't really know you at all... But did you want me back at all?"Actions>Truthfully, I don't care if you do or not.>Well, I'm sorry for not talking with you at all... You seem like a lovely woman.>Well, I'm sorry for not talking with you at all.>Well, I'd like you back.>Well, I don't want you back. I have plenty of women to please.>Would you come back at all?>Why don't we talk about your son, Viktorious?>Write-In
>>808398>Well, I'm sorry for not talking with you at all... You seem like a lovely woman.>Would you come back at all?At this rate it seems like Trump is our new president.
>>808398>>Truthfully, I don't care if you do or not.>Although I am curious if you keep in touch with any of the others.
"Well, I'm sorry for not talking with you at all? You seem like a lovely woman. Would you come back at all?""Well, I'd consider it.""Huh... Well, do you keep in touch with any of the others?""Well, Karolina just kind of went dark, and Emily is barely getting along in Hansodr, and is quite poor...""Huh...""But how's my son, Viktor?""Him? Well...""I mean, I didn't see him when he was a baby... Is he a good toddler at all?"Actions>Well, he's not really a toddler anymore. At all.>He's the President of the USA, actually. Have you heard at all?>He's a great kid, very ambitious... Very warriorlike. Like you.>He's alright, I guess. I didn't really talk to him too much.>I don't like him... Just a little too unscrupulous and too ambitious.>If you want, I can go get him.>...You know, I think you'd like being with me. Just saying.>How about this... You stay with me for one day, and if you like it, you stay with me.>Write-In
>>808419>He's the President of the USA, actually. Have you heard at all?
>>808419>He's the President of the USA, actually. Have you heard at all?>He's a great kid, very ambitious... Very warriorlike. Like you.
"He's the President of the United States. Have you heard at all?""Wait... Is this a joke?""Nope.""But he's just two though...""Well, he did it.""How?" She seems happy for him, proud even."Well, I have no idea. He punched two guys on stage though.""Holy shit... Well, I'm proud of him... If your being serious.""I am.""Sounds like a good kid...""Yeah... He's also a full-born dragon.""Seriously?""Yep.""Huh...""He's a great kid... Very ambitious and warlike...""Well, I mean... Can you get me to see him? My kid?""I mean, in a few hours... I'm too tired to fly there, and I'm busy...""Damn...""Yeah, sorry..."The two of you sort of go silent..."So... How's your wives?"Actions>Great. I love them all.>I've sort of hit a rough patch...>The sex is great, if not better then usual...>Why don't we drink a little? We have a lot to catch up on?>Come on, tommorow you'll see your kid.>Let's talk about something more interesting, ok?>You know, if you want I could add some wings to you...>Write-In
>>808448>Great. I love them all.>Let's talk about something more interesting, ok?Come to think of it, how did Viktor ever become the president of the US when he's only 2? You have to be 35 among other requirements.
>>808463He pulled an Obama. He didn't release his birth certificate, and I completely forgot to mention that because no one asked me how he could do it.
>>808470I would say retcon it like that volsturm sniper in 1946 Berlin but nah. We're too far in.
>>808475Sometimes I get a little too drunk to run this quest. That was one of the times... But fuck it, the quest isn't blowing up because I forgot to do something."Well, great. I love them all... But let's talk about something more interesting, ok?""Well, like what?"Actions>Know anything about science?>Well... Why don't we talk about guns? Do you like guns?>Let's talk about how damned good I am in bed.>So... Did you know vampires are real?>...Why don't we go to sleep? I'll talk to you in the morning, I'm too tired to think of anything.>Well... Have any interest in our lord and savior, Adolf Hitler?>Know anything about religion?>Well... Is there any way I can change your mind so you'll stay with me?>Write-In
>>808481>...Why don't we go to sleep? I'll talk to you in the morning, I'm too tired to think of anything.That was hilarious I kinda wish you ran with it and tried to explain that shit
>>808481>...Why don't we go to sleep? I'll talk to you in the morning, I'm too tired to think of anything.>>808483And I was the one who ruined it spent suggesting he retcon it.
Fuck, when I get drunk I write good but come up with plotholes like a motherfucker."Why don't we got to sleep? I'll talk to you in the morning ok? I'm too tired to explain or think of anything.""Alright... Well, if you want to talk, meet at the bar in town...""Got it... Night."You head to bed... And note only Chrysoula's in bed... So you crawl in.. Chrysoula turns over."Hey... Can I uh, talk to Flames tonight?""Huh?""Well, I kind of miss him. Sorry."Actions>What? It's fine.>Well... Why don't we tumble a little?>Don't like my company?>...Only if I can rest my head on your breast like a pillow.>Is it because I'm short?>Can I just apologize for burning you when I cried?>Shush... Too tired. Sleep now.>Can we talk?>So... I just met my old concubine...>Do you think of me any lower for crying?>Write-In
>>808490>What? It's fine.
"What? It's fine."You let Flames take over, and the two of them kiss, and generally hang out... And you pass out.After a while, you wake up, go and get breakfast, and yawn... Such a nice morning. This is when your head servant walks in."Sir?""What?" You say as you eat your morning steak."There's uh... A new embassy. The Kobolds set it up.""Huh.""It looks like the parthenon... And there's a LOT of kobolds in roman armor running around.""That's kind of adorable. With their little..." You look down sadly, being reminded of your legs."They just opened last night apparently."Actions>Well, that's nice.>Well, I'll go and see them I guess... I always liked the Romans.>Mind if I ask who the staff was? Such as who the lead diplomat is?>Can you set up my schedule? Today's a busy day...>Just curious... In the Mediterranean... Is there any reports of a hydra?>Well, that's nice... I'm busy though.>How adorable.>Quick question... Where's my jester? I haven't seen him for a while.>Write-In
>>808523>Well, I'll go and see them I guess... I always liked the Romans.
>>808523>Well, I'll go and see them I guess... I always liked the Romans.>Just curious... In the Mediterranean... Is there any reports of a hydra?Didn't Hermes mention something about a Hydra near Malta?
"Well, I'll go see them I guess. I always liked the Romans. But just curious, in the Mediterranean... Is there any reports of a hydra?""Well, I mean, there's rumors I think. Occasionally a ship or village goes missing, and the Italians and Sicilians blame it on a hydra.""I see.""I'm sure it's just a rumor though.""Sure. Sure it is."You get up and head to the Roman ambassador... You eventually find the embassy and go up to it, passing the Roman architecture, which is a bit small. You walk down and enter, and see a secretary."Hi. Who are you?" It says. You can slightly tell it's male. And you also address it in Latin, and he talks to you in Latin as well."Hi... Who's the ambassador?""That would be Legate Auraxiaum. He's the main ambassador, his staff is Centurion Valcaria of Latium, she's in office 132 and is in charge of security, along with Centurion Calacaruas of Dacia, and he's in charge of translation of your lowe- I mean, language and society... And finally Citizen Octavia, she's charge of complaints and questions from outsiders.""I see...""Who would you like to see? I can arrange a meeting, outlander."Actions>I'll see the Legate.>Well, I'm curious about protection. How about Valcaria?>I'd like to help... Whatever his name is.>Well, I'd like to see this Octavia.>Why are nearly all of you military?>...I'd like you to know that THIS scroll proclaims me a Roman citizen. Who do I take this to?>Write-In
>>808576>Why are nearly all of you military?>...I'd like you to know that THIS scroll proclaims me a Roman citizen. Who do I take this to?
"Why are all of you nearly military?""Well, I can't answer questions sir. Please take it to Citizen Octavia... But to hurry your time, all of us are military except her. And that's only because she's the daughter of Senator Vicamarus.""I see...""...And she isn't too good at her job. Sufficient to say. She's still essentially a child..." He shakes his head back and forth."Right... Well, I'd like to know where I take a scroll that proclaims me a Roman citizen...""Really? Well, that would be taken to either Legate Auraxiaum or Valcaria."Actions>Well, let me see this Citizen Octavia to answer my questions...>I'll see Calacaruas.>Well, I'm curious about the military... I'll go to Valcaria.>I'll go straight to Auraxiaum.>...Are you going to invade me at all? Just curious.
>>808595>I'll go straight to Auraxiaum.
"I'll go straight to Auraxiaum."You walk down the marble hallway, and eventually reach a large office...So you begin to open the door, and go inside to see a heavily armored Kobold writing something in a very fancy office... Marble tiled floors, with... Gems embedded in it, the edges of the room have gold in it...The Romans seem to have A LOT of wealth.Auraxiaum looks up and takes off his helmet."Who are you?""I'm Renexizious.""I see... I am Legate Auraxium, charged by the Emperor to talk to your peoples. And my first question... Is what do you drink?""Butter."He looks... Very confused."...You drink butter?""Yes."He gets out a book, and writes in it."Interesting... Do all surfacers like butter?""Of course."He writes this down, and keeps it open."Right, well... I'll send for a Legionary to get you butter.""Thank you..."After a bit, some butter comes down, and you drink it."So... What exactly do you want?"Actions>I'm mostly curious to see what you think of my culture.>I'm curious about your culture...>I'm here to give you this scroll...>Well, I was wondering what your religion is, actually...>I'm here to ask you for a map of your realm...>I wanted to make a deal.>I was hoping I could get on better relations with the Roman Empire...>Want to join my empire?>...Where is this butter from?>So, I wanted to meet the Emperor... Who is that?>Just curious... When was the last time your people went above ground?>Write-In
>>808648>I'm here to give you this scroll...These guys sound baller af.Also we finally did it. Trump won the election. He won all the states he needed to and he's leading in important states. It's only a matter of time until Emperor Trump is a thing.
Sorry anons, I'm passing out out of hailing the Don a little too hard.
Say after me folks.PRESIDENTDONALDJ.TRUMPWe fucking did it Reddit.But seriously, I'm just spending an insane amount of time looking up the butthurt after Trump's win."Well, I'm here to give you this scroll..."You hand him the scroll, and he reads it..."A document of citizenship? I think the last time we gave these out was during the Fall of Rome... Hm... This is either very old, or forged.""What?""It's signed by Julius Caesar.""...Wait, really?"You grab the scroll from him, and it indeed says Julius Caesar signed this... Huh."Cool...""As far as I know, he wasn't in power long enough to do anything...""Well, what does that mean?"He sighs heavily."I send it through to the bureaucracy, and they get to clear it up... And there's only a few small problems here.""Such as?""First, unless your willing to send a bribe accompanying this, and pray to your surface gods that the Senex Peritusi don't get their hands on this for studying and archiving..""Sorry... What did you say?""The old scientists." He says this in German, notably... Huh."I see... So what else can happen to the document?""Well, I think I doused your spirits enough. Besides, it might just get refused on the notion that your an outsider.""...So it's worthless?""No, but in order for it to ACTUALLY be worthwhile, you need to prove your loyalty to Rome and the Emperor.""I see...""Now, if you want I can just send it in, or you can hand me a bribe and hope that the bureaucracy gets it done in a timely manner... Or you could do a few favors for me, and I can see it approved.""...Bribery?""No, but jobs that a regular Citizen of Rome would have no problem doing..."Actions>I don't even need this document of citizenship...>Valuable for research, eh? Threaten to burn it unless he approves.>I see... Well, just send it in. I have little to no time to do jobs and I lack money for a bribe.>How much would a bribe cost?>How about I make a deal? I'll give you Rome...>I'll do the jobs...>What exact benefits does being a Roman citizen have?>If I so chose, I could have you and your staff for dinner. Now, get it done.>Write-In
>>809034>What exact benefits does being a Roman citizen have?What exactly is going on here? I thought that Rome and Italy were under our control and that Kobolds lived in communities in places like Sparta. I'm confused here.
>>809150Rome and Italy are, but these are the underground Romans, and I think I stated they don't live in Sparta, but keep ties with the people there."Well, what exact benefits does being a Roman citizen have?""Well, if you live in Roman territory, you pay less taxes, along with eligibility for Roman education, ability to apply for office, freedom of speech... Along with the ability to use Roman roads without toll, use of Roman facilities, bathhouses, and public healthcare...""That's a lot of stuff...""If you want, I can continue."Actions>Sure, I like to know ALL the benefits.>I see... So public office? What can I explicitly apply for?>Any way I can buy estate?>Well, that's nothing exciting.>No, I'm good. Thank you.>Write-In
>>809179>Sure, I like to know ALL the benefits.
"Sure, I'd like to know all the benefits.""Well, the ability to hold land and make contracts, lawful marriage with Roman principles... The right to sue in court, to have a trial and court, appeal the decisions of magistrates... The right to defend yourself in the case of treason, and if guilty you will not be crucified... I think that's really it."Actions>Well, I don't really see how this would work.>...Flames, come up with ideas.>Is this FULL citizenship?>Do I have to serve in the army at all?>I like it... Now, how do I get this approved?>Not worth it then. Can I sell the scroll to you?>Write-In
>>809213>Do I have to serve in the army at all?
"Well, do I have to serve in the army at all?""Generally speaking citizenship is very, very rarely handed out to someone who does not serve, but I think there's always the exception... We generally do not get official papers telling us that people are citizens.""Am I obliged to serve?""Well, if you wanted a decent political future, you must be willing to take up arms to defend the Empire... Also, legally only military officers and their children... Save their grandchildren, are allowed higher magistrate offices or to vote in Imperial elections when it comes to the Senate and Provincial Representatives."Actions>So, if I want to be more then a lower office member, I need to serve or at least help Rome...>How can I get higher office without serving?>So only the military can hold high offices? Isn't that a little juantistic?>How often do civil wars happen?>Hm... I might just try to get this approved.>Is there any downside?>I don't become a client state at all, right?>Are me and my children citizens?>Write-In
>>809221>So, if I want to be more then a lower office member, I need to serve or at least help Rome...>How often do civil wars happen?>I don't become a client state at all, right?>Are me and my children citizens?>Is there any downside?>Hm... I might just try to get this approved.
"So, if I want to be more then a lower office member, I need to serve or at least help Rome, right?""Correct.""I don't become a client state at all, right?""Not at all.""Good, good... Are me and my children citizens?""If your children commit a crime, they'll be wiped from the record, but yes.""Huh. Any other downsides?""No, not really. But if you do worship any other pagan gods, we request you worship OUR God.""Which is...""Well, God. The Ecclesiastic Church, the Imperial Church, whatever you call it, that sort of thing.""...I have to WORSHIP God again?"'"Once a year, and pay tribute to the Emperor and the past emperors, sacrifice a Goat or something. Think of it more as a show of your loyalty to Rome.""I see... Do I have to official worship God?""Once a year, and you can go back to worshiping whatever pagan god you believe in."Actions>...What's the difference between the Imperial Church and the Catholic Church?>No then. I'm not doing this.>Eh, I can make a token sacrifice for Rome once in a while.>...What exactly is this "God" of yours?>Sorry, but only cool religions like Fenrir, Thor, Odin... And other paganic gods are allowed.>I'm not on good terms with God. Can I just provide a sacrifice to the Emperor instead?>Can I pay extra tax to avoid worship?>Do I have to sit through any sermons?>I like it. Well, I'll give you this and I'm a citizen, right?>Write-in
>>809269>...What's the difference between the Imperial Church and the Catholic Church?>Eh, I can make a token sacrifice for Rome once in a while.>I like it. Well, I'll give you this and I'm a citizen, right?God doesn't have to like us worshipping him but dammit we will add "roman citizen" to our titles and shit.
"What's the difference between the Imperial Church and the Catholic Church?"He looks amused."...What is this "Catholic?""It's our form of Christianity.""We thought the barbarians just destroyed the church. Hm.""Well, can you tell me what the difference is?"He shrugs his shoulders."I don't exactly know what this "Catholic" church really is, so I wouldn't know where to begin. Besides, I'm not a priest, I'm a soldier.""I see... Religious at all?""I'm a soldier, if I wasn't religious I'd be fearing for my life every day... Just ask me a question and I think I can tell you the church's official position on it.""Well, first, who controls the church?""It's nearly completely independent, but is indirectly ruled by the Emperor of Rome... He does very little besides build churches, cathedrals, and collect money for it.""I see...""There's also, in case your interested, three mainline ideologies, the Iconoclasts, the Orthodox, and the Progressives..." He says the last bit rather bitterly about the Progressives.Actions>What are the Iconoclasts?>Progressives? What are they?>Orthodox? What does that group do?>...Enough about your religion...>Any Imperial cultists that worship the Emperor akin to a God?>Ask him a question? (Write-In)>So, can other races become priests, saints, that sort of thing?>...This reminds me quite a bit of the Orthodox church... Is this church related at all?>There's no pope?>Let's just officiate these documents, ok?
>>809306>Let's just officiate these documents, ok?
>>809306>Let's just officiate these documents, ok?Sounds like a bunch of manlet dragons LARPing or something.
Careful, you might trigger Ren mentioning Manlet."Just officiate these documents.""Want me to send them normally, with a bribe, or want to get a record of helping the Empire?"Actions>Send it normally.>Send a bribe.>Fine, I'll help you out in exchange for citizenship.>Write-in
>>809406>Fine, I'll help you out in exchange for citizenship."I retain the right to refuse and give a bribe instead though."
"Fine, I'll help you out in exchange for citizenship... But I retain the right to refuse and give a bribe instead though.""I see, well, very good.""...Any jobs?""What, do I look like somesort of disabled crone? Ask my lieutenants.""Well, alright... Do you want anything?""Well, besides the Drow and Dwarves to fuck off and die, not really.""Your race doesn't like the Drow or Dwarves?""Of course not.""I see... Well, who should I see?""If you want something dealing with the Drow and dwarves, and don't care about killing things, ask Centurion Valcaria, and if you feel like dealing with a rather timid man has a thing for you surfacers, ask Calacaruas and try to at least help him understand your culture.""Any jobs that you have?""No, not really. Unless you want to do something diplomatic, then no.""Such as?""Well, I could always explain to you how our legions fight so well underground... But no offense, you barbarians can't even fight over a meterstick properly, let alone caverns or fortresses.""Us surfacers aren't barbarians.""Ha! That's what you all say... Anyways, more butter?""Gladly."A kobold Legionary comes in with a gem-encrusted goblet, and you drink the butter down eagerly..."So, would you mind if I ask how you get this stuff?""We have access to some of the most wealthy mines in the world, live primarily underground, and encourage a very free market, with nearly no laws.""I see... Rather fine goblet. Could I have it?""I don't see why not, we have twenty more in the back probably.""Thanks."Actions>What would you romans think about my military? Truly, awe inspiring is a word I'd use to describe it...>Plot in your head how to take over their nation...>Pat his head. It's rather funny he thinks he's superior then you in culture...>Don't you have a nearly anarchic market system?>Why don't we do something diplomatic, to show the trust our two nations have or something.>...I have a question, Legate... Do you have any family?>So, how far does your Empire expand? I'm curious.>How does your little race view us dragons?>I bet my men can fight better then YOUR men.>Could you explain why you hate the Drow and Dwarves?>Well, if you excuse me...>Write-In
>>809428>Plot in your head how to take over their nation...>Pat his head. It's rather funny he thinks he's superior then you in culture...>So, how far does your Empire expand? I'm curious.>Could you explain why you hate the Drow and Dwarves?>Well, if you excuse me...
You calmly plot in your head as you pat him on the head. He is extremely confused."What are you doing?""Just thinking.""Could you stop?""I think not."You continue to pat him as you think. It is clear he's uncomfortable."So, tell me... How far does your Empire expand?""I'm not at liberty to say.""I see... Well, why do you hate the Drow and Dwarves so much?""The Drow because they raid our settlements, and the Dwarves because they steal from our mines.""I see..."You pat him on the head softly."Can you stop? You surfacers are strange at times..."Actions>What? No. Now be quiet, I'm thinking.>Just pat him on the nose.>...What if I told you that working for ME could get you a higher, and more wealthy position...>Come on, this is a tradition greeting...>Sh, grown-ups are thinking...>Write-in
>>809434>Sh, grown-ups are thinking...>Just pat him on the nose.
"Sh, grown-ups are thinking." You pat him on the nose, and he just looks extremely confused.Right, so... How are we going to conquer the Kobolds?I mean, they're basically our cousins. Should we?Well, we have the draconic right to conquer anything not us...Eh, I mean, they're pretty adorable and ignorant of how the surface works.Eh, I don't like them and their Roman boners. Can we pillage and conquer them?Why?Old Nordic grudges against the Romans.I don't know if we can even TRY to conquer them, they're underground and our cavalry, not to mention our draconic form is completely useless underground, and could work against us!Well, what about peacefully?I have a feeling that even though the two of our races have scales, the average citizen will give us a huge middle finger since we're not "them"... And I don't know if being a citizen will help.Huh.Who cares about peacefully taking care of the damned Romans? Just set their cities alight or whatever....Well, do you have any ideas Ren?Actions>Honestly, no. I asked you guys just in case.>...Well, maybe we could try to convert them to worship us?>Let's try to just gain control of the Emperor...>Military conquest will be easy...>They lack a regulated market... Maybe we can outproduce them and try to gain control of their economy?>Let's try to get their people to migrate up here by having better living conditions...>Easy. We send spies in first of all...>Eh, I don't want to conquer them... Friendship and an alliance would be nice.>Let's try to get chosen as Emperor...>Write-In
>>809460>Honestly, no. I asked you guys just in case.>They lack a regulated market... Maybe we can outproduce them and try to gain control of their economy?
Well, honestly no... I just asked you guys.Fuck, we don't even know WHERE their empire begins or ends, which is a very, very big problem.We could try to take control of their market?How are we going to get the goods down there?Erh...I mean, we can get it down there, but what happens if the Romans embargo us to prevent us from taking over their economy?Actions>I don't know...>Well, we forcibly try to get rid of the blockade.>We deal with it, and try another way.>Hopefully it won't happen.>I have an idea! (Specify)>We send them addictive materials... Like drugs.>Write-In
>>809470>Write-In"We can deal with all of this later. We have more important theoreticals to deal with."
Let's just... Let's deal with all this later. We have more important theoreticals to deal with.Got it.You return back to reality, still calmly patting the kobold on the nose."Is this one of your greetings or something? I request that you stop it, because I'm tempted to call the guards.""Huh? Why?" You take your hand off of his nose."...It tickles. Also, because I thought we were having a serious conversation..."Actions>Pat him on the nose again and begin thinking...>Sorry, sorry. I was just... Erh, trying to make you happy or something.>You kobolds actually like getting patted on the nose? Huh.>Pat him on the nose then.>Right, right. Sorry. What were we doing?>Well, why don't we call it a night? I have things to do besides talk to kobolds.>Write-In
>>809477>You kobolds actually like getting patted on the nose? Huh.>Well, why don't we call it a night? I have things to do besides talk to kobolds.
"Huh. Well, the more you know about noses and kobolds... Now, why don't we call it a night? I have a lot of business to do.""Right, right.""...I'll still have some butter though."You get another cup of butter and drink it, and begin to leave... Hmh... Butter.Do you stop anywhere?>What? Of course not, your too busy to get a job...>Stop by Centurion Calcaruas, the guy in charge of translation and seeing how your society works.>Stop by Valcaria, she's in charge of security.>You have a complaint or two. Stop by Citizen Octavia.>Write-in
>>809507>Stop by Centurion Calcaruas, the guy in charge of translation and seeing how your society works.
You stop by Centurion Calcaruas, who notably has a less decorated office and room, and you knock... And open it after you hear him yell that you can in fact open it."Calcaruas?"You see a rather... Well, slim kobold look up from reading a book."Yes? Who are you?""I'm Renexizious.""Really? Very good! Come, sit down!"He seems very eager indeed to talk, and you sit in a chair, and he puts full attention to you."So, I have a few questions...""Erh, well... How many questions is it?""Oh, don't worry, just a few."After nearly two hours of answering his questions about how your world works, he seems satisfied."So, erh... What time is it?"You look up at a clock, and look back down. Holy shit, it's fucking one in the afternoon."It's erh, One PM.""My word, I'm sorry... What were you here for again?"Actions>I was curious if you needed any help.>I'm erh... I'm running late now for something. Goodbye!>Why don't we answer more questions? It's quite fun.>You are a rather eager kobold to learn about how my society works... Why don't you go on a tour with me?>Pat him on the head and nose. Kobolds are adorable with their little bodies...>Write-InGoing away for an hour anons, sorry.
>>809549>I'm erh... I'm running late now for something. Goodbye!
>>809549>Pat him on the head and nose. Kobolds are adorable with their little bodies...>I was curious if you needed any help.>Why don't we answer more questions? It's quite fun.
You pat him on the head and nose, their little bodies are so adorable... He also seems confused."What a-""Shush. Now, I was curious if you needed help.""Well... I mean, if you could get me som... Can you stop patting me?""Why?""It's... What were we talking about again?""About if you needed help or not.""Oh. Right... I erh, I need books. In Latin.. Hey, could you uh... Could you rub my scales right there?""Sure."He seems to enjoy your patting."So, why don't we answer more questions? It's quite fun.""Huh? Yeah... Can you stop rubbing me? It's uh, it's distracting.""Oh, right.""So uh... What exactly is your surfacer's religion?""Oh. Well..."Actions>It's mostly Christianity.>I'd say the good old Pagan gods.>Everyone worships Fenrir. Everyone. Mostly to prevent Ragnarok.>The Roman gods, of course.>...They worship me, of course. I am the true God.>Write-In
>>809696>It's mostly Christianity.What do most people in our Empire or at least Sweden worship?
Nearly everyone's Christian. Sweden has the occasional pagan, and the rare Protestant, but there's always the very, very, very rare worshiper of you.Also, waiting fifteen more minutes.
>>809696>Write-In"It depends on the region and race; there are Jews, Christians and Muslims that follow the same god in different ways.Then there are the Roman gods, the Greek gods and the Nordic gods who all have some following EXCEPT the romans sadly.Lastly there are the chaos gods; inter-dimentionally powerful gods that grant great boons for their followers but lack a major presence, or common knowledge of their existence among the populous. However worshipping them should generally be avoided."
>>809708Wasn't Draconic-Catholicism a thing for a while? Ren was treated as a living saint or something.
>>809716Yeah but we had to cut that shit because Jesus was turning into a dragon and God cursed us
>>809716It just blended into mainstream Catholicism now. Sweden is dominantly that, but outside of it, it's very rare. But you guys pretty much said "fuck that shit" and now it's just slowly going back to regular Catholicism.
>>809718>Jesus was turning into a dragonWhy would we stop such a good thing
>>809725Because God was dropping our body stat one by one until we stopped that shit.
>>809725Actually god was turning more Draconian, not Jesus.
>>809730I thought QM posted an offhand comment where Jesus complained about getting scales.Or was that god?
>>809729I thought that God was cursing was for stuff like killing Reinhold or something.
>>809737Nope it was mostly the draconic Catholicism.And maybe a bit of enslaving Christians iircI think Gods don't like people fucking with their religions
I think God.Anyways, anyone else more /comfy/ since Trump won and just watching liberal tears right now?Also, sorry to say but >>809714is just way too long and my cat is blocking my shift key.>>809745Gods fucking hate that shit. You did fuck with the bible and planned on changing it, and tried to get yourself worshipped like a God..."Well, it's mostly Christianity.""I see, I see..." He writes this down eagerly."Anything else?""So, your the ruler of Scandinavia, right?""Yes?""How does the average person look up to you, and what would you say is the virtue of the average German?""...German?""Yes, your German, aren't you?""...I'm Swedish.""What's a Swedish? Is that a sort of group of Germans?""It's... Erh... Well, let me just answer your question.""Right... So, why do people look up to you, and what are their virtues?""Let's start with why people look up to me..."Actions>Well, I hope people love me, rather then fear me.>People fear my very shadow, for it knows only hunger, slavery, and butter!>I don't honestly know.>I'd say I made Sweden Great Again, and that they love my skills with women.>Because it's cool to have a dragon as a Emperor?>Fuck if I know.>Because I won't eat them if they follow me.>...Well, just saying but I'm not actually SWEDISH. I'm a dragon, which has it's own culture... (Renexizious will stop identifying as Swedish.)>Write-In
>>809761>Well, I hope people love me, rather then fear me.>I don't honestly know.
>>809761>Well, I hope people love me, rather then fear me.>...Well, just saying but I'm not actually SWEDISH. I'm a dragon, which has it's own culture... (Renexizious will stop identifying as Swedish.)Ren is in control of a continent spanning empire on set to grow and it's not like he still serves the king of Sweden or something.
>>809779ThisMaybe we should try to institute a draconic culture?One more dragon worship-y?
>>809788We should start making a more Draconic empire. It just has to be gradual so less rebellions happen and things go along smoothly.
>>809794Have we even set up churches for our worshippers?Or any place to gather religiously?If not we need to.We don't need to set up a state religion somuch as encourage one
"Well, I hope people love me, rather then fear me... And I'm not actually Swedish, I'm a dragon, which has it's own culture.""Right, right... So your people love you?""Of course!""I see, now... What would you say makes your people stand out?""Who?""The Swedish populace?"Actions>...Erh, I don't actually... Well, I very rarely meet with the average citizen...>I'd say they're open to diversity and new ideas...>Well, for dying so much and not pissing me off like so many mortals, I'd say they're a good people.>They're a good honest people to rule over.>...They're push overs, honestly.>They taste great!>It's not really culture so much as races...>Who cares about them? Why don't we talk about draconic culture?>Write-In
>>809811Maybe we could prop up a cult or something that see's us as a God and while not being directly involved, we still found it and give it aid. Like if Trump was secretly supporting 4chan and /pol/.
>>809821>They're a good honest people to rule over.>Why don't we talk about draconic culture?
>>809823Yeah I can support secretly funding them.We should also found out if they have a head religious figure.They need a charismatic one.>>809821>They're a good honest people to rule over.>Now why don't we talk about draconic culture
"They're a good, honest people to rule over... Now, why don't we talk about draconic culture?""Oh, right... Well... What did you want to say?"Actions>Well, us dragons think the Roman culture is truly exquisite... Think of the draconic culture essentially being that.>It's my own, unique culture.>Well, it's essentially just Swedish culture... But a little more dragony and a lot more butter as a cultural food.>Fuck, I don't really know...>It's British as fuck. We drink tea all the time, I guess.>...We pride ourselves in our superiority and wisdom to all other races...>Well, the draconic culture is all about equality, really...>The Draconic culture is a return to the classic roots of Christianity...>Write-in for other things Draconic culture stands for.
>>809845>Well, us dragons think the Roman culture is truly exquisite... Think of the draconic culture essentially being that.I mean Draconic is essentially just Latin. Also these Roman Kobolds are technically Draconic or at least have Draconic ancestry.
>>809845>Well, us dragons think the Roman culture is truly exquisite... Think of the draconic culture essentially being that.
"Well, us dragons love the Roman culture... Think of us just as Neo-Romans...""Interesting, interesting..."He writes this all down."Is that all?""Well, yes. Unless you wanted to tell me a question to ask you."Actions>Well, how about how I'm clearly God?>Thank you... And you said you just wanted some books in Latin?>Pat him on the head for his little interview.>...Have you ever wanted to be taller? Just curious.>You know, in a sense we're basically cousins... Well, our races. Not us.>Why don't I show you what Draconic culture can accomplish? Let's go on a tour...>Write-In for questions to ask him!
>>809879>You know, in a sense we're basically cousins... Well, our races. Not us.Maybe we should make it so that Latin(Draconic) becomes a second language in ur realm. Start with the more wealthy and then make it so more and more of ur population know Latin.
"You know, in a sense we're basically cousins... Well, our races. Not us."Roll me a 1d20+4 for seeing if this catches on with him... Additional +4 for arguments that the two of your races are related!
Rolled 11 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>809899We both have scales and like Rome.
Rolled 2 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>809899We both have scales and slit eyes.And we share similar culture.Superior culture.
Rolled 13 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>809899Renexizious sounds roman
>>809899Draconic and latin are the same language is another argument.
Rolled 16 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>809899
13+8=21Success!"Think about it. We both have scales, slit eyes, similar... Superior culture, and I have the same language as you.""Well, I suppose your related. I can see that.""Great!""So, we're... Related?""Well, in a sense.""There's a chance, but we have red scales. You just have white, from what I'm told.""Dragons come in more colors then white.""Well, you are. So if anything, it is far more likely your a mutant of our great race."Actions>If anything, YOUR the mutants.>Well, I guess we could be.>Oh come on, Dragons are superior to your race...>Can we at least agree that humans are all lower then us? Just saying.>Give him a draconic high five?>Come on, one day your race will realize it's full potential...>Sweet. Nice to see we got that sorted.>...So, I'm making the world dragonified... What should we do about the humans?>Write-in
>>809947>Sweet. Nice to see we got that sorted.>...So, I'm making the world dragonified... What should we do about the humans?Technically white Dragons would be mutants of the Draconic race along with all the other different colored dragons. They're probably white since their ancestors lived in snowy environments or something and the same goes for different colored dragons.
>>809947>Come on, one day your race will realize it's full potential...>Some mutations can make a race stronger, you know.
"Sweet, nice to see we got that sorted... But maybe one day your race will realize it's full potential. Some mutations can make a race stronger you know..."He seems a little suspicious at that comment."So... I'm making the world dragonified. What should we do about the humans?""Erh, what?" He seem confused...Actions>Oh, you know. Making the atmosphere unbreathable for the lesser races and only for dragons and you...>You know, converting the world to basically being a floating draconic ball, where the lower races can finally be ruled by their masters...>I was thinking about having the world ruled by me and it's subraces also ruled. But not as much slavery, just saying.>Well, I like the aesthetic of having rivers of blood, and draconic plants. I'm curious as a scientist to see what happens.>Don't worry about it...>Well, I mean, what should happen to them?>I think we should just fill the atmosphere with gasses to turn every man, woman, and child into a honest half-dragon. How about you?>How do you feel about enslaving the earth to serve their draconic emperor for all eternity? Sounds nice, right?>Well, I was thinking about becoming a Daemon Prince of Khorne... I mean, never being able to die, and hanging out with Khorne is pretty cool. Oh, and turning this planet into a Daemon World.>I was thinking mostly about making this world more hospitable to me...>You know, me and my wife love the cold... We should lower the temperature. Sounds nice, right?>Write-in
>>809974>I think we should just fill the atmosphere with gasses to turn every man, woman, and child into a honest half-dragon. How about you?
Ending voting in twenty minutes or until another anon votes.
>>809974>Don't worry about it...it isn't time to unveil the Final Solution™ yet
'Well, don't worry about it..."You come up with a brilliant plan in your head, and refrain from telling him..."So, anyways... I should be going now. Put in a good word with the diplomat, please.""Alright. Goodbye."You leave the office and embassy, and head outside... Of course, now you have to do something. Great.That's when you spot someone headed towards you... Victor?"Victor? What do you want?""Erh, did you decline to send the Dutch back?""Yes?""Well... The UN just declared you a war criminal for targeting civilian centers.""Really? That's it?""They're also pressing for an embargo on you.""I see... How many countries have taken it up?""Well... Due to a rather byzantine system of alliances, most of Europe's refusing to trade with you... And your wife's pissed off.""What? How?""Apparently SHE wanted to make the Dutch her land, but the Germans took it over, robbing her of the opportunity...""So the international community is pissed?""They even forced France to embargo us... The only countries actually trading with us anymore is Persia and the Germans... And Spain, who isn't a member of the UN.""So... What does this mean?""Well, besides stock in free fall and a semi-international crisis, NATO may be forced to intervene...""Shit, so your telling me that unless I send the dutch back home, that I'm a war criminal and being embargoed by the UN?""Yeah... Sorry.""What's Viktorious doing?""He's not taking sides, but he seems to think you've been expanding a little too aggressively..."Oh, this is real fucking nice... Nearly every country nearby refuses to trade with you...Actions>Fine, we'll send the civilians back... Will that make the UN and my wife happy?>Fuck the UN! >Well... I guess it's time to make friends with Spain and Germany in case the UN doesn't like me.>I need to see my wife, Elizabeth then.>I'll send them back... But different. I'm not sending them back as humans.>This is real fucking nice... Can we afford a war with the UN? >How's our treasury looking?>Write-in
>>810045>How's our treasury looking?>Well... I guess it's time to make friends with Spain and Germany in case the UN doesn't like me.We should probably try making a counter to the UN. A Union with Germany, Spain and Sweden.
"Well, how's our treasury looking?""It's falling steadily... Most of our trade comes from trading food with other nations.""I see... So, anything else?""With the plague of diseased cows, we're running out of butter and meat fast, we were relying on importing it...""Could we set up a union with Germany and Spain?""Your wife would despise that, just saying... And also might have an escalation effect..."Actions>We need to evade escalation, since we're reliant on the international community right now... Let's just send them back.>Well, let me see if I can get my wife to calm down...>Well, let's see about getting Spain and Germany to love me...>Who cares if this escalates?>Write-In
>>810082>Well, let me see if I can get my wife to calm down...Spain I can understand but Ren's and Liz's son I see the Kaiser for crying out loud.
>>810106>Spain I can understand but Ren's and Liz's son is the Kaiser for crying out loud.I'm probably going to pass out so I'm so tired.
I'ma just wait until tommorow.
I'm back up for a bit anons...>>810106Ren's son isn't the Kaiser, he's just the co-Emperor, so basically a secretary with a lot of power. Who is supposed to help the Kaiser out a lot..."Well, let me see if I can get my wife to calm down then..."You leave your chief secretary and after some searching, find your wife, Elizabeth, fuming apparently... You go up behind her."Elizabeth?""What?" She seems rather angry..."I'm erh... Oh God, what did I do?""Why the bloody hell did you fucking attack the Netherlands?""I mean...""Goddamn it, now if I don't do something I look like an apathetic bitch willing to bend over backwards since I guaranteed it's independence! And if I do something, then the two of us are at eachother's throats!""I mean, I'm sorry...""Do you not understand that attacking cities has consequences? Not only did you fuck up my plans for expansion, but you managed to get the world pissed off at you!""I didn't realize attacking a European city would have so many consquences...""No one could give a shit if you attacked Cuba, but you attack a major city in Europe for no reason besides slavery to the international community, and you EXPECT them to just brush it aside?! I'm amazed you even got this far in politics!""I'm sorry, ok?""This fuckup of yours is threatening war, and I want that fucking land from the damned Huns one way or a fucking other. I didn't spend nearly eight million trying to get it out of their little empire just for you to enslave it's population!""What if I payed you back?""Unless I get the damned Netherlands with it's people, which I have put money and time towards, and I expect my investment payed back in full, then no!"Actions>Liz, come on. Please? A small incident like this isn't enough to start a war over...>She needs a kiss. Do so.>God, you can be such a bitch at times...>Listen, I'll do it for you, ok?>What do you need with the Netherlands?>Don't you raise your voice at me.>Liz, I could crush your nation in a week, and you want to oppose ME?>Let's talk about this in bed.>I didn't enslave them!>You'd risk war against your own family just for the Netherlands?>I'll get the Germans to give you the land, ok?>Write-in
>>810838>anon manage to do it againThere goes our plans for the space race, fixing our legs, the internet, and pretty much anything else we were planning on doing.Time for three threads worth of patching this shit up.
>>810838>Liz, come on. Please? A small incident like this isn't enough to start a war over...>She needs a kiss. Do so.Ren dindu nuffin he a good boy.
>>810838>Liz, come on. Please? A small incident like this isn't enough to start a war over...>I'll get the Germans to give you the land, ok?>She needs a kiss. Do so.>Write-in"As to the people I need them for a project, but I am willing to give them back to you, so long as you promise to help fund it when the time comes. This is a long term plan mind you, that getting the infrastructure for online will take a many months, if not years so you don't need to worry about paying it for some time. Plus it'll have benefits for you."So how are we actually going to do space? I mean I know how and could outline a few plans but I want to hear what you guys want out of it.
>>811386>Terraform LunaWe already have environment altering potions so that will make it easier. A major obstacle though might be setting up an atmosphere >Build spacecraft that can carry significant amounts of peopleThis one isn't impossible but might take a lot time and resources. Although getting Nazi scientist would help. See operation paperclip irc.>Become the intergalactic Emperor of dragonkindI think most of us are 40k fags enough to agree on this
>>811472The first point is impossible; the moon lacks a magnetic field and will therefore lose any atmosphere to space over time thanks to "solar winds". However we can create bio-sphere and cave systems with self-contained ecosystems. These would suffice for colonies but are expensive, to be dealt with later.As to the space craft, we have a load of huge bonus. We can empower rocket fuel using our draconian blood, have modern computers, can replace dangerous and inefficient power generation methods with crystal power when we get it working but still we lack a single thing; a loyal and "productive" seed populous.This is needed because we can't get to space, yet, and because we need to know the colonies population will grow once established. This is part of the reason I wanted the people from the Netherlands; many of them already are families and thus would continue breeding without incentives. Seeing as we can't afford to send more and more people up forever.Also, we can see about creating a space warship, equipped with a up-scaled version of our laser weapon. This will invalidate the american's nuclear weapons, as we can destroy the ICBM's as they fly.As to the last one, that will come in time naturally.
"Liz, come on... Please? A small incident like this isn't enough to start a war over.""Well, I-"You give her a kiss, risking life and limb to avoid pissing her off..."Come on... I'll see about getting the Germans to give you some land, ok?"Roll me a 1d20+3 to calm her down. Additional +3 if you can do things to calm her down.
>>811516"I wasn't thinking clearly, I shouldn't have done that and I am sorry. How about I get you and me some time to spend together, to discuss our plans to stop this happening in future? We could go on a date and discuss it somewhere else? Like a park, cinema, restaurant or theatre?"
Rolled 19 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>811520Forgot to roll
"I just wasn't thinking clearly... I shouldn't of done that and I'm sorry. Why don't we spend time together to discuss our plans to stop this from happening in the future? Let's go somewhere and discuss it... Like a park, cinema, restaurant, or theater?"Her red face calms down significantly..."Well... Perhaps the theater? I've never seen Swedish theater before.""Good. Good." You pat her on the back as the two of you take walk to a theater...It takes a few hours, but eventually you come to the nearest theater, built in a classical style of traditional Swedish architecture, though it seems a little run down... It's clear that there isn't too many patrons, and so you and Elizabeth head inside, and see that the theater is putting on a play about Shakespeare... She enjoys this, and the two of you get private seating above the theater...Elizabeth however, seems rather giddy, and excited."You know, I always loved the theater. Too bad I rarely get to go now, thanks to so much work having to be done."You give her a kiss on the cheek."Ah. Well, that's always a downside of being the Queen of Britain. You rarely get to have fun.""Quite so... I hope you Swedes can put on a good show with Shakespeare's work.""...I never actually seen his work.""Really? What a shame... You know, us British have the biggest and best theaters in the world...""Ah, well... That's good.""Quite so."The play begins...Actions>You know, you might as well talk to Elizabeth about your dreams of world conquest, turning every single living being into half-dragons... Oh, and going into space.>...So... Want to tumble a little? I don't think anyone would mind.>Note to self, build a bigger and better theater then the British.>Note to self, you should really take Elizabeth to theaters more often, she loves it apparently...>Just sit through the play. Maybe you'll like it?>So, what did you want the Netherlands for anyways?>Let's talk about business... Our plans for expansion, if you will...>Write-In
>>811539>Note to self, you should really take Elizabeth to theaters more often, she loves it apparently...>So, what did you want the Netherlands for anyways?
You give yourself a note to take her out more often to theaters..."So, what did you want the Netherlands for anyways?""Well, mostly so I could get more food from the Dutch farmlands... England's running a bit low as well.""Really?""Early frost this year.... And the fact that I occasionally fly around and accidentally freeze or eat the crops doesn't help at all.""I see... Well..."Actions>If you want, I bet I can try to send your country some food... (Note, your country is already low on food!)>So it's important. Well, I'll try and get the Germans to give you land... Or food.>Why don't you call Victor and ask for making a trade deal?>Well, I'm sorry that I didn't exactly give you the wealthy Dutch farmlands.>Well, I bet there's another place with better farmlands...>I see. Well, I'll try to remedy that... Why don't we talk about our future together? You know, once we're done being content in merely Europe....>Write-in
>>811386Holy shit, I didn't see this. Sorry.
>>811564>I see. Well, I'll try to remedy that... Why don't we talk about our future together? You know, once we're done being content in merely Europe....
"I see, well, I'll try to remedy that. But why don't we talk about our future together? You know, once we're done being content in Europe...""Well, I was thinking that. What's your goal?"Actions>Talk to her about where you'll expand next?>So... Want to help me get into space?>How would you feel if I mutated everyone into half-dragons?>How would you feel if the earth became... Well, slowly draconic...>I have a question. Do you believe I could become a god?>I have a question... Have you ever heard of a kobold before?>Write-In
>>811662>So... Want to help me get into space?
>>811492We'll make a magnetic core>>811662>So... Want to help me get into space?
>>811662>So... Want to help me get into space?Some asteroids contain enough of certain metals, to equal the entire earths production for 10 years. Part of the reason we don't extract these is the cost of sending things up and down is too much and the other is that it would break markets since they would fail to maintain a decent cost. Leading to mines closing.
"So... Want to help me get into space?""Erh, what?""Well, go into space, colonize shit, mine shit...""Erh... I mean, how in the bloody hell are you going to get up there?""Oh, I have ways.""It'd be impossible, Ren.""Seriously? Since you've known me, the impossible has happened... Now, come on. I bet I can get to the moon easy peasy.""What's even up there? Space is practically empty."Actions>That's a rather limited viewpoint...>Come on. I bet I can get into space, and make a profit off it.>Just give me a chance.>So, a no then?>If you help me, I'll make sure you get to do space colonization as well in the future...>Well, guess that means more space for me then.>Come on, haven't you ever wanted to go up to space?>Write-in
>>811713>Write-in"You mean besides the tactical, strategic and economic benefits of having something literally above every obstacle? An unblockable eye, weapon or other such thing?Well there are all the planets, moons, asteroids and gas giants which we can;1) Colonise for their mineral wealth, living space and ability to make us immune to the various threats I know that could and or will destroy the earth.2) Explore for fun and for profit whilst also linking in the third benefit, 3) We can research and discover their secrets to improve our understanding of our universe. How it works and all that good shit.Plus the prestige of making it happen, along with the innovation that will inevitably occur thanks to it."
"You mean besides the tactical, strategic, and economic benefits of having something literally above every obstacle? An unblockable eye, weapon, or other such thing? Besides, there's all the moons, planets, asteroids, and gas giants which we could colonize for their mineral wealth, living space, and ability to make us immune to the various threats I know that could or will destroy the earth... Not to mention exploring for fun and profit whilst also linking in the third benefit, which is researching and discovering secrets to improve our understanding of our universe, how it works and all that shit... Besides, people will think we're even more awesome if we do it, not to mention the innovation that will occur...""I think your having a flight of fancy. It would take decades, if not centuries to even get to the moon. Besides, I very much doubt that your country could keep stable long enough to even TRY to do that."Actions>Elizabeth, come on. Sometimes in order to get higher, you need to think abstractly.>It wouldn't take that long. Come on.>We have the technology and the know-how...>Let's talk about this more when my country stabilizes, ok?>Write-In
>>811769>It wouldn't take that long. Come on.>We have the technology and the know-how...
"It wouldn't take that long, come on. We have the technology and the know how...""Well, I highly doubt it.""Will anything change your mind?""No, since I see little to no reason to risk such extreme sums simply to satisfy your desire to go into space.""Come on...""It sounds like a fool's dream, no offense dear."Actions>Listen, if I get SOMETHING in space, will you agree to help fund me?>I didn't want you to fund me...>Come on, don't you want a space palace?>What's the worst that could happen?>Come on, it may be ambitious and lofty, but you'll get good results.>Write-In
>>811866>Listen, if I get SOMETHING in space, will you agree to help fund me?
>>811866>Listen, if I get SOMETHING in space, will you agree to help fund me?>Write-InWe probably should wait until earth is harmonious though
"Listen, if I get SOMETHING in space, will you agree to help fund me?""...Fine, a proof of concept then. Oh, hold on... This is my favorite part."You kiss her in thanks, and begin to settle into watching the play for a bit longer... Eventually her favorite part passes, and Elizabeth turns to you."...Ren?""Yes?""I'm sorry that I was mad earlier. You just... Well, I didn't tell you and I didn't expect you to attack that city. In a sense, it's a little bit of my fault for not telling you. So I'm sorry about getting mad when there was no way you could of known." She pats you on the head, and the two of you kiss for a good long while."It's not a problem. And just saying, your rather quick to forgive.""It's a... Well, it's a feature of me. Also, your my husband and we can't really be at each others throats. Now... Was there anything else?"Actions>Well, no. I just want to see the rest of this play with you.>I was wondering... Do you want to tumble when we get home, or right now?>You know, I bet I can do a better play then them. Just saying.>I was curious... Did you want to join a union with me, Germany, and Spain later?>Oh come on, it was my fault. I shouldn't of attacked a major city.>I was curious... What do you think about the future of the lesser races?>So... I have a question... I sort of entered a competition with my mom to beat her slave count since her third birthday... I was wondering if you wanted to help me.>I'm curious... Do you miss being human sometimes?>Write-In
>>811911No we are making a god damn space program now. We might not launch it or build it right now but I want the research done now.
>>811917>Well, no. I just want to see the rest of this play with you.
>>811917>Well, no. I just want to see the rest of this play with you.>I'm curious... Do you miss being human sometimes?>>811924What if the enemy gets it.
>>811946Then woop-dee-doo, they have the ability to launch a radio beacon into a low orbit. Such a ground breaking change considering the only groups that might consider pissing us off are the Americans and the elves. Only one of those has the ability to use it militarily and even then is ruled by our relative.This is before mentioning that we can hide the documents away somewhere, we do have a large secure dungeon beneath our palace.
"Well, no... I just want to see the rest of this play with you.""How sweet.""Yeah... Hey, can I ask you a question?""Sure.""...Do you miss being human sometimes?""Well... Yes, I'd say so.""Why?""Well, besides the fact I committed cannibalism on my court accidentally, and have a massive diet, not to mention the fact that I get angry really, really easily... Oh, and also that I need to exercise often to avoid gaining weight.""Well, sorry dear... Now, let's watch the play."After a few hours, the two of you leave, both liking the theater, and begin to head back home."Well, that's certainly different... Now, let's get going home, ok?"You get into your limo with your wife, and begin to drive home...Would anons care to roll me a 1d20+4?
Rolled 3 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>811968
3+4=7As you arrive home, you see your guards on high alert... And you leave with your wife, and bid goodbye... This is when the guards salute you, and they stop you."Sir, have you heard the news?""What news?""Just turn on a radio or television, it's all over the news!"You rush inside, and find the nearest radio, which you turn to a local news station."In breaking news, the newly constructed railroad connecting Hansodr, Stockholm, and Oslo was attacked today by terrorists, and the first train, carrying the Head of Interspecies Affairs, Kryos Stathakis, the newly appointed Lycanthrope Bishop of Hansodr, along with General Torjborn of Uppsala... And carrying a hundred and fifty civilians was attacked, and derailed... Local authorities have reported a bomb went off in the station car carrying the passengers, and so far in reports there have been reports of eighty dead, twelve severely injured, and sixteen wounded... We are still getting reports on this travesty... Currently, the body of the Lycanthrope Bishop has been found, along with the body of the General of Uppsala..."Well, looks like terrorism strikes again...Actions>Continue listening... You still don't know all the details!>Oh fuck no does someone attack your cabinet. Your dealing with this right now.>Turn it off. It'll take a while to exactly hear the events.>...Well, this is a large deal. Maybe you should try to call a press conference or something...>You need information. Call a cabinet meeting.>Write-in
>>812009>Write-inHead there, now.We have necrotic healing, the ability to make blackguard's, healing ice breath and the ability to transport the wounded / clear the track.
>>812009>>You need information. Call a cabinet meeting.Is Torjborn important? I don't recognize his name.
>>812015I don't think he is the military chief in our cabinet but Kyros is very important. Not only because he was a friend but he was our Greek cultural consultant, government advisory for many things and general nice guy.
>>812015Also would you mind supporting my idea?
>>812024Alright. I change my vote to avoid stalling.>>812009Head there ourselves.
Torjborn is just some guy I made up, don't worry.You decide to head there ASAP, and you begin to fly... It takes you only a little bit before you land, and you see the very large train derailed into the snow, and quite a few dead civilians in bodybags around it. The local police seem scared of you and give you a lot of space, as you look at the train... It seems that the track was purposely removed, and two of the passenger cars have notable holes in it, indicating the explosion was internal... You also stomp and take a look around, seeing blood quite everywhere, and see two barely alive civilians, missing an arm or leg, and being tended to by a few on-site doctors and an additional four heavily injured civilians, two having broken legs and being tended to by paramedics on site... You see two rather beat-up civilians being talked to by the police in addition...Actions>Investigate further!>...Try to heal the extremely injured? Those without limbs with Necrotic Healing?>Clear the track!>Put the injured on you and fly to a hospital!>You know necromancy... Ty to bring the dead civilians back from the grave. (Choose either Skeletons, Zombies, or Blackguards. You can only support twenty blackguards.)>Use healing ice on the civilians!>Ask an officer what happened...>Talk to the surviving civilians!>Write-In
>>812066>Use healing ice on the civilians!>...Try to heal the extremely injured? Those without limbs with Necrotic Healing?
>>812066>...Try to heal the extremely injured? Those without limbs with Necrotic Healing?Shame that dragonmutagen doesn't regrow limbs. That would really make it popular.
Roll me a 1d20+7 to heal!
Rolled 7 + 7 (1d20 + 7)>>812078
Rolled 11 + 7 (1d20 + 7)>>812078
Rolled 14 + 7 (1d20 + 7)>>812078
14+7=18Alright Success!Your healing ice breath stabilizes a few civilians, and you tap your claw against the two severely injured civilians, stopping their bleeding... They won't bleed out, but they'll be in for a rude awakening.Of course, the doctors thank you as they patch them up, and you note that a few of them seem to be using magic to help heal them. Huh, seems like that magical university you set up is helping out...Of course, now you put your attention to...Actions (Also, feel free to choose three since you can multitask like a motherfucker thanks to having three heads.)>Try to raise some of the dead civilians as blackguards or undead?>...You know, you have an idea. Get the dead bodies and put them on your back, maybe Frankizka could help you with this by possibly making them vampires or something...>...You know what? Time to be semi-religious. Mutter a prayer for the dead. (Renexizious will actually TRY to be semi-religious. Just specify to which deity.)>Try to clear the train and debris!>Try to investigate the train further?>Ask a police officer what happened?>Interview the ok civilians!>...You have a slight crazy idea... Try to lower Flame's head and see if he can CAREFULLY mark the severely injured civilians with a tattoo or something. Hell, maybe one or two of them might take it as a religious symbol to worship you?>Transport the injured to the hospital?>Write-in
>>812108>Try to clear the train and debris!>Try to raise some of the dead civilians as blackguards or undead?Blackguards, we can release them from our control once they are raised.Then>Transport the injured to the hospital?
>>812108>...You have a slight crazy idea... Try to lower Flame's head and see if he can CAREFULLY mark the severely injured civilians with a tattoo or something. Hell, maybe one or two of them might take it as a religious symbol to worship you?This is a good opportunity to secretly start our own cult.
>>812118Erh, there's a small problem with that... If you release them from your control they die. And you can only raise twenty, and there's about sixty dead civilians.Also, it's necromancy in public.
>>812120Yes this place filled with police, news teams and all that shit is a good place to do it. Rather than say, whilst taking them to hospital?
>>812127We're going to do it when no ones looking.
>>812125I thought they continued to live after being released, just that we couldn't control them? I'll reread that part of the archive but I might be wrong...Anyway, if they complain about necromancy, ask if they would prefer these people to be dead. However if we resurrect someone and they want to not be a blackguard, then fair enough.
Solaire's head bites down on the train and moves it away, while Flame's head lowers itself to mark the injured... And you move your head towards the dead bodies.Flames prepares to mark the injured... Roll me a 1d20+5 if he's detected, Autosuccess if you can come up with an excuse or distract people.
Rolled 7 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>812150We could try farting. That would at least draw attention from our heads to our backside.
Rolled 4 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>812150"If any of you want to offer a prayer for these people, now seems a good time. The rest of you get helping the doctors or something. The longer they are here the greater their risk of death.Also, I am about to do something highly immoral, watch if you want and complain too but you can't and won't stop me!"
Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>812150
"If any of you want to offer a prayer for these people, now seems a good time. The rest of you get helping the doctors or something. The longer they are here the greater their risk of death. Not to mention, I am about to do something highly immoral, watch if you want and complain too but you can't and won't stop me!"Some people give a few prayers but most run off getting doctors... So Flames secretly marks the injured with the symbol, and you prepare to raise the few dead you can...Roll me a 1d20+4 to see how well this goes.
Rolled 7 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>812172
Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>812172
Critical Success!You raise them from the grave, but you do more then that... Your necromantic powers reassemble their very twisted and injured bodies, reassembling the most injured or dismembered of them... And you feel your power over the undead growing stronger. Huh. They stay in the bodybags, not really alerting anyone to your necromancer powers.... On the otherhand you could just say your taking them to a hospital and let them out somewhere far away.Actions>You'll open the body bags far away...>Open them now!>...Take them back home. You'll try and do something where you'll make them worship you for bringing them back from the grave...>Write-InAlso, after this you get a new spell!
>>812200>...Take them back home. You'll try and do something where you'll make them worship you for bringing them back from the grave...Sweet new necromancy spells.
>>812200>...Take them back home. You'll try and do something where you'll make them worship you for bringing them back from the grave...
>>812200>Open them now!Screw it, Rather than converting a few random people why not get the public to know we can literally bring them back from the dead? Why not use that as the basis for worshipping us? The fact we can do feats / miracles that Jesus did?
>>812210Slow and steady wins the race.
>>812217True but if that is the case then I would point out we do still have worshippers. Just not as many and thus shouldn't risk our stuff here.
You decide you'll take them back home to worship you... But you focus on your necromantic powers firstly...Choose two new spells!>Raise Skeleton! (Unlimited summon time, and is sentient! Is an upgrade!)>Mental Command! (Issue mental commands to your undead!)>Raise Deathguard! (More advanced form of a Blackguard, but can summon it's own undead, and in addition is more powerful strength and health wise!)>Necromantic Mutagen (Ability to infuse mutagens with necromantic power!)>Create Vampire! (Using a blood ritual, you can now create weak vampires that crave a little blood.)>Create Swarm of Spectral Bats! (You can create large swarms of spectral bats that can distract and otherwise block line of sight to you!)>Infuse Breath: Choose one breath attack to be infused with a necromantic spell of your choice! Takes two spell points, one for the spell itself, the other for any necromantic spell to be added to your breath!>Staff Summoning (If you use a staff in your human or half-dragon form, you can use it to cast more powerful spells, along with being able to control more undead!)>Free-Will (You can grant an undead servant of yours free-will.)Oh, also you can now command 100 Blackguards, and 5,000 Skeletons or Zombies.
>>812235>Staff Summoning (If you use a staff in your human or half-dragon form, you can use it to cast more powerful spells, along with being able to control more undead!)I kinda wanted to make us a weapon, a mage-blade would be a good start...
>>812248Just saying you can choose two spells.
>>812235>Create Swarm of Spectral Bats! (You can create large swarms of spectral bats that can distract and otherwise block line of sight to you!)>Raise Deathguard! (More advanced form of a Blackguard, but can summon it's own undead, and in addition is more powerful strength and health wise!)
>>812235>Mental Command! (Issue mental commands to your undead!)This also seems useful, even more so since we planned on replacing our slaves with undead.
Going to wait twenty more minutes anons.
>>812235>Raise Skeleton! (Unlimited summon time, and is sentient! Is an upgrade!)
>>812303Two spells please.By the way, how exactly is it since Trump won on your college campus? I remember you saying that you went to college.
Rolled 1 (1d2)Rolling.1=Staff Summoning & Mental Command!2=Swarm and Deathguard!
You feel like you can now use staffs to channel magic, along with command undead with your mind... Huh.Of course, now this leaves finding the body (Or just finding Kryos alive)... Of course, you have no idea where he is...Roll me a 1d20+5 to investigate where Kryos could be!
>>812317Staff summoning too.Trump won on my campus? What do you mean by this?I'm in the blue state of California, so I've been drinking liberal tears.
Rolled 9 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>812351
>>812358I was asking since Trump won and how your campus is reacting.Yeah, fuck nearly everyone with colored hair on the street is a untapped salt mine in Oregon. I love living here thanks to the salt Trump gave us.
Rolled 12 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>812351Rollan>>812373I don't like that he won but the keks are worth it.Then again I didn't want hillary to win either.
12+5=7Borderline Success!After some searching, you follow a slight pool of blood and find Kryos alone in the forest.Roll me a 1d20. Only one roll is accepted.
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>812402
10You find him heavily bloody... It seems he was at the center of the explosion, but his durable minotaur frame seems to be relatively alright... You examine his body, and find that the front of his body is horribly injured with bleeding cuts everywhere, and one of his hands nearly severed... And the snow around him is painted red.He groans a little as you shrink down to better heal him... You notice that the front of his body also has severe burns... And the only reason he's not dead is because it seems the burns cauterized many of the cuts...Actions>Put him out of his misery. He's extremely injured! You can probably bring him back afterwards anyways!>Deal with his nearly severed hand!>Deal with his frontal body damages!>Use your breath and magic to stabilize him!>...Fuck it, try to give a blood transfusion on the spot. Hopefully your blood is compatible...>Try to wake him up?>Grow, pick him up, and haul him to the paramedics!>Write-in
>>812454>Use your breath and magic to stabilize him!Lol elf terrorists
Roll me a 1d20+4 to stabilize him! Additional +2 if you can think good things about Kryos!
Rolled 5 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>812484He was the one Greek friend I ever had. (Chrysoula doesn't count. We just got her for Flames)
Rolled 4 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>812484
>>812484Please wait for the 3rd roll, OP.
Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>812484
6+4=10Failure!You fail to stabilize him, though you seem to slow down the bleeding a little... He coughs up some blood, and you feel a little panicked, as his bleeding only slowed down slightly... Moving him may be risky at this point.Actions>Try to freeze his cuts with solid healing ice? That might work... But if you fuck up, he might just die from frostbite.>Grab him and haul him to the paramedics?>Try to fix his nearly severed hand?>Try to encourage him to hold on?>Wake him up? Having him awake might help you, but he'll be in quite severe pain...>Something's causing the bleeding, and just freezing it solid or cauterizing it may leave debris behind... Try to examine whatever's in there!>Fuck, try to freeze him solid. It's risky, but it might just work...>Try to cauterize his cuts?>Start a fire to warm him up?>Yell for help?>Try a blood transfusion, he's low on blood!>Write-InYou approximate that at this rate, he is twenty minutes away from dying of blood loss, an hour away from dying of frostbite, and he seems to be in severe pain.
>>812559>Grab him and haul him to the paramedics?We clearly don't know how to heal him.
Waiting ten more minutes.>>812564Note that moving him may be risky, and will greatly speed up blood loss...
Roll me a 1d20-2 to see if you can move him without him bleeding out!
>>812559>Something's causing the bleeding, and just freezing it solid or cauterizing it may leave debris behind... Try to examine whatever's in there!
Rolled 9 - 2 (1d20 - 2)>>812625Let's hope this works.
Rolled 8 - 2 (1d20 - 2)>>812625It's do or die time
Going to allow a samefag.
Rolled 2 - 2 (1d20 - 2)>>812625
Rolled 19 - 2 (1d20 - 2)>>812654
9-2=7Failure!You pick him up, and get a few feet before you feel yourself coated in blood. Shit... You put him on the ground urgently, as you see him bleeding out intensely! Moving him is liable to kill him at this point!He is suffering from blood loss! (URGENT!) And left untreated in the next four minutes, will die! He is 58 minutes away from frostbite death, and is in enough pain that he's starting to wake up fast...How to deal with blood loss?>Try to give him a fast blood transfusion?>Try to dig out the debris in his cuts? (If failure, will kill him)>Try to freeze his cuts solid with healing ice! (Will lower his tempature greatly, but is likely to stop blood loss!)>Try to cauterize his wounds? (Will result in extreme amounts of pain, and he'll struggle... But may stop the blood loss outright.>Fuck it, drag him! You need someone with experience!>Wake him up?>Write-In
>>812677>Try to give him a fast blood transfusion?
>>812677>Try to give him a fast blood transfusion.
You decide to give him a blood transfusion... Hopefully dragon and minotaur blood isn't that different... You grow a claw, and you try to think of happy things as you crudely cut your arm and pour blood into his wound... Hopefully your doing this right.Roll me a 1d20+2 to see how much blood he gets back... Additional +2 if you can think of happy things that Ren likes.
Rolled 19 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>812699Will there be a chance that Kryos will turn Draconic from exposure to Ren's blood?
19+2=21Good Success!You feel a little woozy, and eventually you freeze the cut on your arm closed... Kryos seems a lot less in pain... Seems like your blood is a wonder cure after all. Of course, he's still losing some, but moving him is much safer... You also note that his veins are little more red then usual though.You assume that he has enough blood to last two more hours, and is about 40 minutes away from dying of the cold. He isn't in too much pain, and he's slowly waking up at this point, muttering a few words...Actions>Try to carry him! (It's likely he'll to start bleeding again, but he is likely to make it.)>Try to dig the debris out of his body, no need for him to get internal bleeding or anything stuck in his body... (Will cause severe blood loss if failure)>Try to freeze his cuts solid with healing ice?>Start a fire to keep him warm!>Cauterize him to stop bleeding!>Try to deal with his nearly severed hand...>...You have an idea. Try to tear some bark off a tree to make a very crude bandage, lined with leaves. It's uncomfortable but may help stop bleeding... Oh, and find some sap.>Write-In
>>812726>Try to deal with his nearly severed hand...And use Flames to warm him up by starting a small fire nearby.
You get some wood nearby and get Flames to start a small fire, and you turn your attention to his nearly severed hand...Actions>Try to use Necrotic Healing, your ice breath, and reattach it? (HARD)>...Laser it off. It'll be painless, and might cauterize the wound.>Rip it off. It'll be very, very painful, but better now.>Leave it be.>Write-in
>>812742>...Laser it off. It'll be painless, and might cauterize the wound.At this point I'm tempted just to give up and revive Kryos as a skeleton or something. Problem is he would be too spooky and scary for his job.
Waiting ten more minutes anon.
>>812742>...Laser it off. It'll be painless, and might cauterize the wound.We can get him a robot hand later.Or a knife prosthetic
You laser his hand off... Of course, that makes you slightly hungrier, but he doesn't seem to notice his hand missing... And the wound is cauterized, sufficient to say.It is now safe to move him... So you haul him back to the paramedics, who begin to treat him for wounds. Most say it's a miracle he survived at all, and you gladly leave.With the body bags too, of course... While no one's looking...You begin to fly home, and eventually drag the body bags into your basement... You could wake them up now, or do something else... After all, you do hear that daemonic blue jay in your basement. And his cultists.Actions>Deal with the imprisoned cultists and the Tzeentchian daemon. Might as well.>Time to start your cult... Open the body bags. (And if you want, come up with a greeting?)>You should make a prosthetic for Kryos. He did lose his hand.>Do something else.>Write-In
>>812793>Deal with the imprisoned cultists and the Tzeentchian daemon. Might as well.I feel as though Renexizia is involved in this somehow.
>>812793>Deal with the imprisoned cultists and the Tzeentchian daemon. Might as well.>>812807We should get around to teaching her about chaos demons
You decide to deal with the imprisoned cultists and the Tzeentchian daemon.You stroll outside of their cells, and thanks to the one-way glass you installed, they can't see you... You see the cultists are rather confused and bored, while the bluejay looks quite weak...Actions>Interrogate a cultist?>Interrogate the daemon.>Get Adelmann down here?>...The cultists have seen too much. Dispose of them.>Find a way to destroy the demonic bird...>Write-In
>>812829>Interrogate the daemon.Maybe we can terrify it if we roll a bunch a bunch of dice.
>>812829>>Interrogate the daemon.Aren't we trying to retard the chaos influence in our world? Daemons of Tzeentch or any other chaos god, except maybe Khorne, shouldn't be here.
You interrogate the daemon and enter the room."Hello..."The bird jumps around and looks at you. You see it's shifty eyes examine you closely..."What do you want? And you better not hit me in the beak like you Khornates like doing so much, because I promise you my plan to defeat you will be extravagant, extraordinary, and will NOT involve dice rolling, as that is a stupid way to deal with enemies! Who ever came up with the dice rolling method as a way to decide cosmic events is beyond retardation..."You are slight confused by the bird."First question... Why are you so small, and nonthreatening?"...Tzeentch uh... He couldn't afford any other agent. So he just got the smallest thing he could afford that could still do something.""I see... So your his only daemon on this world?""I'm not telling you anything, I don't want to fuck with any plans he has, unless this is a part of his plan or me telling you a part of his plan is good, which I don't know if it is..."Actions>Don't make me get the dice out. I know how much you hate randomness in dice.>...So your basically a budget daemon?>I can torture you, you know. Start squawking.>If you don't tell me anything, I will make you my pet. Understand? You'll have to put up with Smaug and Blondi, and they do not play easy. They play rough.>How do I kill you?>So, how did Tzeentch get enough influence to afford a demonic pigeon like you?>Talk to me, or I'll rearrange your beak.>Write-In
>>812853>How do I kill you?I feel like we're going to get no where with a daemon of Tzeentch. Let's just beat him hard enough that he goes back to the immaterium
>>812853>Don't make me get the dice out. I know how much you hate randomness in dice.H ell I'll get the 100 sided ones just for you.
"How do I kill you?'""You can't kill a daemon, idiot. Daemons just go back to the Immaterium to recuperate, and then we come back to sow more glorious Chaos.""I see... Well, don't make me get the dice out. I know how much you hate randomness in dice. Hell, I'll get the 100 sided ones just for you."The bird seems slightly threatened."You wouldn't."You slowly take out a d20, and roll it casually on a table. You weighted it to only roll twenties too..."T-that was a natural twenty! Tha-""I know. Now, tell me.. Are there any other demons?"You roll another twenty."Please! The... The statistics can't..."You roll yet another twenty, and the bird seems threatened enough to answer."Ok, ok! Fine! By Tzeentch, you mortals don't know the luck given to you!""Tell me.""Alright... Well, Khorne has four minor daemons in Africa, sowing discord among the tribes and killing stuff, and a cult in Sweden, I think... I'm the only Tzeentchian Daemon... And you kind of took care of my cult... Nurgle isn't strong enough to actually do anything... And Slaanesh has a cult in France... I don't think it has a daemonette though... Or it's saving up for something else."Actions>Ask it another question? (Specify)>Interesting... Are any of the Chaos Gods influencing anything or anyone of importance?>Now... Tell me how to kill you.>...So, can you escape from something? I mean, you would of already if you could...>Thank you... That's it. Leave.>Roll another natural twenty with your rigged dice.>Summon Blondi. Another Khornate will only terrify the bird more...>...I have a question. Is anything influencing Renexizia?>How strong is Khorne?>...I have another question... How much Chaos Energy can you smell on me?>...Get out the rigged 1d100.>Write-In
>>812933>...I have a question. Is anything influencing Renexizia?>...I have another question... How much Chaos Energy can you smell on me?
"First question, how much Chaos Energy can you smell on me?""You smell like a Khornate... I mean, I can sense it from here, and it smells like a lot... ""I have a second question... Is anything influencing Renexizia?""What?" Who's that?""My daughter.""How would I know? I don't even know who she is!"Actions>You don't believe him. Roll a little bit.>Move on.>Punch the bird!>Summon Blondi...>Write-in
>>813031>You don't believe him. Roll a little bit.>Punch the bird!
You throw the dice up in the air and catch it."You know, I don't believe you.""I'm telling the truth!"You sock him right in the beak, sending him flying across the room, and you roll the dice a little..."Come on, tell me.""Asshole, you could of broken my beak! I don't know who she is!"Actions>I believe you.>...You know, I think you can go through a digestion track. How would you like to experience going through a giant dragon's digestion track?>Punch him again!>I can pluck your feathers off one at a time, and I will until you tell me.>Get a roast. You'll be making Kentucky Fried Bluejay. At least, until he tells you.>I see. Well, I'll just put you in a box until you tell me.>Summon Blondi!>Write-In
>>813049>Punch him again!Punch him so hard we banish him back to the warp.Also as a side note. We should tell people like Amaya about chaos.
Waiting fifteen more minutes anons!
>>813049>I see. Well, I'll just put you in a box until you tell me.Not letting him escape yet.
You punch him in the beak again."Well, I'll just put you in a box until you tell me."You get out a marble box from your pocket, and put the bird in it, and close it. You can hear him protest, but you ignore it, and take the box with you as you exit the room.You exit the room, and still have the bodybags and cultists to deal with...Actions>The cultists sound like a fine lunch... Make plans to eat them for later.>Well, they can be your new test subjects, you were running low...>Just kill them, they know too much.>Ask Adelmann what to do with them?>Leave them be.>You should release them. They didn't do nothing.>Open the body bags? (And if you want, write-in a meeting when they see you?)>Just go upstairs, you have a country to run.>Ask your heads what you should do with the Tzeentchian Daemon.>Write-In
>>813122>Just kill them.They already know too much.
You order their execution for later. They already know far too much for their own good...You decide to save the bodybags for a little later, and you head upstairs to rule over your nation for a little bit... This is when you run into the fair-looking red half-dragon Inquisitoress Amaya, who waves hello."I didn't realize you were back, Renexizious." She says with a slight Spanish accent."Ah, well... I finally am. Where were you at the last cabinet meeting? I didn't see you there.""I was busy in Rome... How have you been?""Good. Great...""Good, good... I heard you stopped wanting to be a saint, but I never got the time to talk to you. Have time right now?"Actions>Of course, I always have time for you, Amaya.>Sorry, but no. I'm busy.>Oh, don't worry, I moved up the ladder, so to speak.>...I have a question... Do you still like me? You know, from the brief time we tumbled?>How is it, being a half-dragon?>Ever heard of Chaos?>Have you run into Adelmann yet?>Write-in
>>813152>Of course, I always have time for you, Amaya.>Ever heard of Chaos?
"Of course, I always have time for you, Amaya... Now, have you ever heard of Chaos?""What is that?""Well..."You sit her and you down, and begin to explain what CHAOS is...Actions>Present it like it's a good thing... For the Khornates at least. Khornates are always bro-tier.>Present it unbiased!>Present it AGAINST Slaanesh. Because fuck that piece of shit.>...Just say to meet you in the library. You can't risk anyone overhearing what Chaos actually is...>Why don't I show you how to deal with a chaos cultist? Come with me... I have some cultists to execute.>Tell her to ask Adelmann what it is!>Write-In
>>813173>...Just say to meet you in the library. You can't risk anyone overhearing what Chaos actually is...>Present it unbiased.
"Come. We'll talk about this in my library..."You present Chaos unbiased, and after a while she begins to understand what a threat Chaos is."So, your saying that anyone can fall to Chaos?""Well, most people, yes.""So, even you could fall to Chaos, and no one could ever know?""Yes... But I'm not a chaos worshiper, don't worry.""I see... So, how do we deal with Chaos?" She seems to take this quite seriously...Actions>Well, we convert those who can be converted, and try to at least help those who can be helped.>Easy. We kill them. We can't let knowledge of Chaos spread.>Well, unless they're doing anything evil, we don't do anything.>Khornates are the only chaos worshippers who are OK in my book, so they should be alright in yours as well, got it?>If it's a Slaaneshian, purge it with fire.>...So, I've been thinking about upgrading the Inquisition a little...>Well, in order to be protected against Chaos, you must have great faith in God...>Well, in order to be protected against Chaos, you must have great faith in me... Since I'm clearly God...>Well, the only way to protect yourself against Chaos is to join Chaos, really...>Write-In
>>813198>If it's a Slaaneshian, purge it with fire.>Well, we convert those who can be converted, and try to at least help those who can be helped. And we kill the ones we can't.
"If it's a Slaanshian, we purge it with fire, and we convert those who can be converted... And at least help those who can be helped. And we kill the ones we can't.""Interesting, so what is Chaos's main..."For the next hour you answer her questions, and she proves most inquisitive... After a bit, you finish talking to her."I see. Well, thank you for taking the time to alert me. Now, if you need me, I'll be briefing the fellow Inquisitors about this new threat..."She gets up, and gives you a slight kiss on the nose."We'll meet again, like aways, si?""Yeah, see you."She excuses herself, and you go out soon afterwards... You decide to take a brief walk around the palace, thinking about jewels, gold... Oh, and if you should get rid of paper money and replace it with gold currency... So much better to sleep on during those nights you feel particularly dragony... This is when you pass a squadron of kobold legionaries... Carrying crates.You can't help but be slightly curious, and you follow them for a little bit, to their embassy... And you see them... Holy fuck.In the next hour, you see them set up a trap to the front entrance... You watch them put down not one, not two, not even three... But twelve machine guns, sixteen shotguns, four axes, two swords, and a fuckton more weapons all just pointed at the front door.These kobolds seem to be setting up traps. Lots of traps, as they work under the cover of darkness, and as you watch, intrigued... In less then an hour, the front yard is more fortified then your dungeon... And the kobold legionaries just go inside while a few others guard outside.. You take down notes of this incredible trapmaking skill, and continue to watch them for a bit longer before leaving...You decide to sit in your throne to rule for a little while, as you can't really sleep... Instead, you think... After a little bit, Lorriana comes towards you."Renexizious?""What?""I erh, I need some funding.""Funding? For what?""I need five million dollars to continue working on the Internet... Mostly to hire some staff and get a proper facility."Treasury: 3$ MillionActions>Sorry, but I just don't have enough...>I can take out a few loans, I guess...>I want you to work on something else then.>...Oh. Well, that's disappointing... Can we talk for a little bit?>...I have a question... Do you know Amaya at all? And if you do, what does she think of me?>...Have you ever met a kobold before? I want you to help me understand them...>Write-In
>>813475>Sorry, but I just don't have enough...Now's not the time for debt
"Sorry, but I just don't have enough right now... Check back in a month or two, ok?""Damn, alright..."She leaves, and you go back uninterrupted. She comes back quickly."So. What the hell am I supposed to do?""What?""Well, I have practically nothing to do now.""I see, and why are you asking me this?""Well, your more used to human activities then me. So throw an idea at me to fulfill my time.""I mean... Seriously?""I spend plenty of my time doing science, since that's the only thing that's really exciting anymore.""Really? Just go to the theater or something.""Right... Well then, I'll be off."She leaves as you fill time by walking around, trying to get tired... It just isn't happening for you, you have no idea why... Maybe it was seeing your friend bleeding out earlier that's causing this.So, you decide to take a walk around the slave quarters... Which seems overcrowded now, and without a doubt, smells like shit. Literal shit... And it's a very ugly eyesore, sitting next to your palace, no wonder everyone uses the front entrance... The stone bunkhouses you built seem overcrowded, and the entire place looks like a slum, with crude shacks and tents set up... And this is only the stuff you see from on top of one of the guard towers overlooking the slum. You even hear a child cry not too far off, and you see a large clearing... Which just seems to be a cemetery...But this finally tires you out, and so you begin to head to bed, and try to not think of the large slum building up by your personal residence, and you head inside to sleep...You get into bed, Frankizka apparently back... But Chrysuola and Elizabeth somewhere else... Frankizka also seems to be drinking a nice cup of wine, and is quite awake as you fall into bed.Actions>Sleep.>...Hey, Frankizka? You over me attacking a city yet?>Frankizka, can I have a hug?>Frankizka... Why don't we kiss a little?>Frankizka... Can we talk a little?>Frankizka, have we ever talked about how the future is going to be?>...Frankizka, I need a hug. And I might squeeze you a little, and this is only because one of my friends may be hurt.>...Can we do a tumble tonight? I just need something to take my mind off of Kryos.>Write-In
>>813606>Frankizka... Can we talk a little?
"Frankizka, can we talk a little?""About what?""Well, first get next to me."She sits down on the bed, but doesn't lay down."Come on, please?"She sighs a little bit, and crawls into your bed, and you thank her."What's this about?"Actions>...Do you think you could help me give my slaves better living conditions? I haven't exactly been taking care of them...>If you could, would you become human again?>Can you teach my son to not drink people's blood as lethally?>Am I good person?>Have I ever told you what will happen after the world is mine?>I don't nearly tell you this enough, but I love you.>Would you like me to mutate you? Just curious.>Can you sleep with me? I'm tired.>...I have a question... Could you ever turn one of my friends into a vampire in case they... In case they died?>Do you have any friends besides me?>...I want a hug. One of my.... One of my friends nearly died today.>Do you think being an Emperor is worth it?>Write-In
>>813698>Am I good person?>...I want a hug. One of my.... One of my friends nearly died today.
"...I want a hug.""Why?""Just... One of my friends nearly died today.""W-Oh... Well, come here..."She seems to set aside the slight grudge, and lets you hug her, and you put your head into her breasts."...I want to know something... Am I a good person?""Well... You try to be, Ren. You just lack commitment... Or you just say that to get laid, I don't know which.""Oh."She rubs your head calmly, and you feel a little sad that even your wife doesn't really consider you a good person.Actions>Just burrow deeper into her breasts and sleep.>...Can I tumble, please?>I wish I was...>Do you think your a good person?>Well... I mean, I try to do a lot for the greater good. Does that make me good?>Come on, what constitutes as good?>Good's just a religious thing anyways...>...How am I not good?>You know, I just don't get it, do I? I'm asking a mortal for mortal morality, and your sense of morals are much more different then mine.>Well, I try my best, that's all that matters...>Write-In
>>813744>Come on, what constitutes as good? I still don't get this whole 'morality' thing.
"Come on already, what constitutes as good? I still don't get this whole morality thing.""Well... Let's say you have the choice of saving a friend or tumbling a woman... The moral thing would be to save the friend from death.""I see...""It's basically just deciding right and wrong, what's good or what's bad.""I see... So what constitutes as good?""Well, that's up to you... I mean, I heard about you saving those people at the train crash. That's rather moral of you... On the other hand, you enslaving an entire city, man woman and child for no reason is amoral of you.""Oh.""It's basically being a decent person...""I'm a decent person.""Towards me and your wives you are, but towards random people you aren't really...""Why?""Come on scalie-brains, think.""Uhm...""...Come on, you can put two and two together.""...Attacking and enslaving random cities is bad?""Well, think about us mortals then, we don't really like changing our way of life, we don't like being forced to do things, that sort of thing... Just think twice about hurting, enslaving, or doing other stuff like that... Fuck, I'm not the best person to describe morality, honestly.""Oh.""Ask a more qualified person, ok? I'm not moralistic myself at times, I just try very hard to be...""I see... Well, thanks for consoling me.""Yeah... I wish I could explain it better. It's something you know or not, alright?""Yeah...""...You know, here's another way... I never thought I'd meet someone who wouldn't be scared of me, let alone love me.""Because your a vampire?""Well, yes. I mean, are you scared of me at all?""Only my wife, a tapestry maker... Oh, and a sniper from Finland.""Well... Think about trying to do heroic and nice things. Considerate things. That's how you do "good"."Well, thanks.""Hey... No problem. I hope it cleared it up for you...""Yeah."She kisses you on the lip."...Thanks for not being afraid of me, Ren.""No problem.""...You know, I didn't really think you were the type to have friends.""Really?""Well, your very business-like. Cold exterior, that sort of thing.""I don't have a... Goddamn it, that was a pun.""Oh yeah. But I just find that hard to think about... That a dragon has friends.""Really?""Well, it's not every day you have a dragon act somewhat humanlike."Actions>Come on, dragons can have friends.>I don't really have "friends I hang out in a bar with", I have business friends.>Well, they're friends since they're useful.>There's a noticable trend in my friendships... I am never friends with Paul the Guard, I am friends with Johann the King. I don't lower myself to friendships with lower people.>Your the anti-social one...>Write-In
>>813770>Come on, dragons can have friends.
"Come on, dragons can have friends. Why couldn't we have friends?""I mean, you do live for a very long time.""I do, but that doesn't stop me.""I just was saying that even though to most people you seem to be amoral, I guess for a dragon you are.""How sweet.""Yeah..."The two of you cuddle for a little bit.."Hey... I erh... I was wondering something.""What?""...Have you ever tasted Bretonnian wine before? And no, not that watered down swill you get at a bar... I'm talking about the stuff nobles drink.""...Well, I never had the pleasure.""It's damned good... But uou know one thing that pisses me off from being undead? I can't taste food or drink.""Really?""Yeah. I can if it's in someone's blood, but just drinking and eating normal food just turns to ash... So I just drink wine out of habit.""And why are you telling me this?""Well, I have no idea. Maybe I want you to feel pity, or maybe I just feel like talking.""I see...""Yeah... But anyways, I'm still somewhat shocked that you aren't exactly thinking of me as subhuman or anything. Or at least scared.""Of you being a vampire?""Well, yes... I'm far too used to people being terrified, trying to burn me at the stake, or try to kill me, I guess.""Well... Why would I be scared of a masochistic vampire?""Well, for you, I don't know. I just find this a nice change of pace compared to the norm, and I can't help but think that it'll be over before I know it, and I'll be hunted again..."Actions>Hug her tightly?>Come on, nothing would ever make me abandon you.>Well, there's one thing I love you for, and that's your masochistic love for tumbling.>Why would I be scared of the French?>Luckily for you, I find vampires to be extremely attractive and cute, with your little fangs.>...Well, one day humans will get used to living with vampires...>Listen, so long as vampirism doesn't get outside of these walls, your alright with me.>...What did you think when I imprisoned you for a brief time in my dungeon?>I'm curious... Have you ever wanted children before? I know this is a little off topic...>...Let's just go to sleep, ok?>Write-In
>>814451>Hug her tightly?>Come on, nothing would ever make me abandon you.>You're so cute with your little fangs.We should mix our blood with some of that wine and see if she can taste it.
You give her a big hug."Come on, nothing would ever make me abandon you... Your so cute, with your little fangs."You give her a poke on the fangs, and she smiles."You know, I never actually had anyone compliment those before. Thanks.""Come on, they look great..."You continue to hug her, which helps reassure her... You do this for an hour."Hey, Ren?""Yeah?""I'm just curious, but usually you ask if you can tumble me by now.""Are you in a rush or something?""Just curious."Actions>Well, would you like to tumble now then?>I don't like tumbling that much... I just love being with you.>Well, I need sleep, sorry...>...Why are you asking this? Do you want to get a tumbled?>Write-In
>>814485>...Why are you asking this? Do you want to get a tumbled?
"Why are you asking this? Do you want to get a tumble?""Well, I feel like having my internal organs ruptured again.""Ah, so you want to feel pain?"'Well, it's certainly exciting.""I see... So yes?""Of course, yes."Actions>Sorry, but I'm just not in the mood...>...You know, the past few times I've been going soft on you,..>Let's do it then.>...At this rate, your going to get yourself a bondage suit or something, God...>You know you could just ask me... You don't have to exactly hint at it.>Can we do this another night? I'm just not in the mood.>...Hey, I have a question... Would it be alright if another one of my wives joined in?>Write-In
>>814556>>You know you could just ask me... You don't have to exactly hint at it.
"You know, you could just ask me normally rather then just hint at it.""Well, that's rather simple of you.""Yeah, just go up to me, ask for sex, and bam.""...And quite barbaric, if you ask me.""Really? Barbaric?""Well, your the man in the relationship, are you not?""I am, but I'm just saying that you can ask me outright..."She shakes her head."No, sorry. If you wanted someone who'd ask you directly, you better just ask a Norscan."Actions>Come on, please? I'm oblivious to this stuff.>Yeah, and when you need help or something I'll take it as a lure to tumble you.>Come on, it's not barbaric.>Fine, I guess your right...>Let's just tumble, alright?>Still, just saying if your that desperate to tumble a dragon...>Write-in
>>814640>Come on, it's not barbaric.
"Come on, it's not barbaric.""Of course it is, a woman asking for sex from a man is low and degrading.""Do you want to argue this?""Do you?"Actions>Fine, I'll argue this... (If successful, Frankizka becomes more direct.)>Why do you want to tumble me so badly?>Fine, we'll do it your way.>...There's only one way to settle this, and that's with an intense loving session. Kiss her.>I'm going to bed then. I'm not in the mood to argue.>Write-In
>>814674>Why do you want to tumble me so badly?>Fine, I'll argue this... (If successful, Frankizka becomes more direct.)Masochistic vampire waifu who reluctantly asks for tumbles is a go.
"Why do you want to tumble me so bad?""I do not want to tumble you so bad...""Ha, your practically craving for it.""Sigmar, why did I ever end up with a lout like you?""You wound me deeply." You say, jokingly."Now, i-""Hold it, I'm arguing this."Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if you can get her to be more direct. Additional +3 if you can do anything to convince her!
Rolled 7 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>814724Grab her by the pussy.
Rolled 7 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>814733I second this.
Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>814724Samefagging that third roll since anons aren't in sight.
I'm sure this is just a (((coincidence))) to have two anons with (((Baron))) in their name.Anyways, waiting for one more roll.
Well, nevermind then.12+2=14Borderline FailureYou of course, put your hand down low, right where her privates are... You begin to lightly grab it and she allows it, albit she struggles a little."What are yo-""Shush, now... Will you be more direct?""You didn't even argue, you just grabbed m-""Yeah, I did... Now, will you?"Roll me a 1d20+3 to continue arguing. Additional +3 for more convincing actions.
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>814763
>>814787Going for that +2.>Swat her rear with your other hand.
Critical Success.You swat her buttock with your other hand."NOW, do you want to ask me?"[r/ed]She kisses you."Well, I can get used to it, hell yeah... Now, why don't we tumble a little?"The two of you begin to kiss wildly as you grope her harder... And as you slowly become a dragon.Roll me a 1d20+8 for tumbling.
Rolled 1 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>814799
>>814817Oh god.Cast necrotic healing.
Use Barbaric anons?>Yes!>No!
Reroll me a 1d20 to avoid critical failure!
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>814828
19Good Success!You tumble her, hardcore. She does yell in pain, but that only mean she likes it, hopefully... After a little while, you finish tumbling her, and merely settle for putting your hands around her buttock and privates as she curls up in pain next to you."You ok?""That was great... If a bit rough...""Yeah, and think... At any time, I could do that, if you ask...""Well, I'll certainly agree now..."You grope her harder and bring her closer to you..."You know, next time, why don't I try to put you in pain?" She rubs her buttock, still sore from the pain you inflicted."Well, I doubt you could come up with something that would put me in pain, I'm immune to it.""Well, we could always experiment..."Actions>I like your style... Well, maybe next time.>...You know, next time you should get dressed up. I think I have a nice suit with a few swastikas that will fit right on you.>Let's stop the deviancy here. I'm good as it is.>What are you, a degenerate?>Only if you give me another tumble.>If you want, I could alleviate your pain. I have some necrotic healing I could use.>...You vampires are some kinky motherfuckers, you know that, right?>Maybe... I'm sleeping now.>Write-in
>>814859>...You vampires are some kinky motherfuckers, you know that, right?>If you want, I could alleviate your pain. I have some necrotic healing I could use.
"You vampires are some kinky motherfuckers. You know that, right?""And?""I fucking love it.""I wouldn't say vampires...""Ah, right. Your french. I forgot.""How does that come into play? And I'm not French, I'm Bretonnian.""Heh, you Frenchies... Now, if you want, I could alleviate your pain. I have some necrotic healing I could use.""I'm good... I like it like this. Now, hug me damn it.""Hurts that much?""...No." She is clearly lying, but you gladly accept her hug.Actions>...But I think I might accept your offer. I'm interested to see what you'll do.>Feel like tumbling again?>So... Forgiven me yet for attacking a city?>We should do this more often. Just saying.>Heal her anyways...>You know, if you wanted to last longer in bed, I could mutate you...>Go to sleep.>Write-in
>>814893>So... Forgiven me yet for attacking a city?>We should do this more often. Just saying.
>>814893>Write-in"So, I was wondering if you would mind helping me find the terrorists who attacked the train? Though if all goes to plan that would merely require a press conference."
>>814903This. Also prepare wine and blood drink for her if she agrees.
"So... Forgiven me yet for attacking a city?""...Sort of, I guess... It's hard to stay mad at you, and the attic is really uncomfortable.""Ah. So pragmatically you have?""Yeah... I guess.""We should do this more often. Just saying.""I see, well..." She yawns heavily."Well what?""Only if you grope me harder.""I love you too... Say, I was wondering something." You say as you grope her harder."Y-yeah?""I was wondering if you wanted to help me find the terrorists who attacked the train? Though if everything goes to plan it would just require a press conference.""Well, maybe... A little harder, please."You turn it up to maximium groping."That's better... Well, I'll certainly consider it in the morning... Can you just do it a little harder?""Sorry, but this is as much as I can do?""I see... Well, goodnight then..." She says as she puts her head on you, and you reduce pressure on your groping abilities.Not too soon afterwards, you pass out...You wake up rejuvenated from the good sleep you had... And also because you ordered your slaves to put gold coins beneath the bed. Feels a lot better knowing your sleeping on some part of your treasury... Now, if only you could surround yourself in money...You make a mental note to move some more of your treasury to your bedroom... And you try to get out of bed, but sadly are pulled back into it by Frankizka, who seems to be very tired and snoring. And talking in her sleep."Come on pony... So adorable... I wonder if I could get some pink armor for you... That'll show those shitty knights that my horse is better then theirs...You'd look adorable in pink..." She is clearly talking in her sleep, and you find this strangely adorable, as she pets your hair unknowingly.Actions>Just uh... Just stay a little longer. Your mostly curious on what she's dreaming about. Also because she doesn't want you to leave.>Get out of bed. You have things to do.>Pet her back. So cute.>...Frankizka, I don't think I'd look good in pink.>Get some of her wine, cut yourself, and put a little blood in it, just for her.>I'm not a horse, Frankizka.>Fuck it, neigh for her.>Get out of bed?>...Frankizka, why don't you choose black? I think black would suit you more, since your a vampire...>Write-in
>>814934>Just uh... Just stay a little longer. Your mostly curious on what she's dreaming about. Also because she doesn't want you to leave.Do the wine thing when she wakes up.
>>814934>Just uh... Just stay a little longer. Your mostly curious on what she's dreaming about. Also because she doesn't want you to leave.>Fuck it, neigh for her.
You decide to stay longer... And you decide to neigh a little.She pets your hair softly..."You deserve an apple when we get back to town..." She goes back to snoring as you wait a little longer... She occassionally says something such as "good pony" and "do you look better in pink, purple, or dark purple." And eventually she wakes up with a big yawn, and knocks right into you."Huh? Ren? Why do you look entertained?" She seems oblivious to her talking in her sleep.Actions>Why don't I get you some wine?>I think you owe me an apple...>You know, I think you look good in pink. Just saying.>Neigh.>...Do you want a pony? Just curious.>What? I'm not entertained. Just go back to sleep...>Can you keep petting my hair please?>So... You like ponies, do you?>You were talking in your sleep about ponies.>Pet her until she goes to sleep again.>Write-in
>>814995>Pet her until she goes to sleep again.If she's still holding onto us, grope her.If not, blood wine.
You pet her softly... And grope her."You should really do this more often..." She says as she curls up to you, and falls asleep...After a little bit she begins dreaming again about ponies, evident by her petting you... You caress her a little bit, and after a while she begins to talk."We're... We're going to win the tourney eventually..."She rubs your mouth uncomfortably.After another hour, you hear very loud footsteps coming up the stairs and you see Chrysoula come in... And see bags under her eyes, showing she is extremely tired. She stumbles towards the bed, ready to collapse...Which in your calculations, could break the bed, scare Frankizka awake, and force you to buy a new bed.Actions>Chrysoula, can you please not fall into bed?>Grab Frankizka tightly. Very tightly.>Chrysoula, can you sleep somewhere else? I'm in the middle of something.>Grab Frankizka, and get up. You'll retreat somewhere else.>Chrysoula, if you fall on the bed I will not rub your horns for a week...>Chrysoula, why don't you just squeeze in where I am?>This is your cue to leave... Push Frankizka off you and get up.>Write-in
>>815079>Grab Frankizka, and get up. You'll retreat somewhere else.How will she react to being groped while dreaming?
You get up out of bed and grab Frankizka... You retreat elsewhere, to your library... Where you relax on a sofa... And of course, you grope Frankizka even more."W-what are you doing, knight... I didn't..." She begins to sweat anxiously. Huh.You pass the hour by groping her, as she grows further uncomfortable."P-please, I have a husband... I'm not..." She seems to be resisting your groping.Actions>Eh. Stop groping her. She doesn't like it.>Grope her harder. (Frankizka may enjoy more "forward" advances... Failure will result in her disliking it.)>Fuck it, pretend to be a knight.>Just go to sleep with your wife.>She's asleep... So what if you tumbled her?>Yeah, your wasting time. Stop molesting your wife and do something.>...Now this is kind of boring. But you are still in the mood... Go to Chrysoula?>Write-in
>>815141>Yeah, your wasting time. Stop molesting your wife and do something.
You decide to stop molesting your wife and DO something. So you put her on the couch, get up... And plan.Actions>Research something!>...You need to figure out how those Kobolds are so good at trap making!>Begin planning your next invasion?>You need to find out who's responsible for that terrorist attack yesterday!>...You need to see if Kryos is alright. See if you can find him at a hospital?>You should see how Renexizia's doing... She's becoming a teen soon.>You need to check with your cabinet on what's happening.>You have a Slaaneshian cult running amok in France... Check in with Amaya and Adelmann on how to get rid of them!>You should see some petitions in your throne room.>You need to upgrade your palace, it might do just fine for a KING, but your an emperor damn it! And the slave's living quarters are beginning to smell... And you want a bigger bedroom so you can sleep with your gold...>You should see about contacting Spain or Germany to counteract the UN embargo.>Write-in
>>815192Bloody wine and then research.
You decide to RESEARCH more things! But you get some of Frankizka's wine, cut your arm, and pour some blood in. Hopefully she'll like the gesture.Of course, you head to your laboratory, and begin to work... You take out the marble box you kept the Tzeentchian Daemon in, and put it on a table. You can deal with HIM later... You also see the bodybags are still unopened...Actions>Deal with the bodybags!>Deal with the marble box!>Preform SCIENCE!>Write-InAlso anons, I think in a little while the quest is going to go from a direct PoV of Renexizious to a week-by-week basis in order to get more things done. Anyone disagree or agree, because I think we're going back to empire management now?
>>815238Yeah, that's good. I want to get Tiberium spaceships and do the God Emperor Ren stuff.
You decide to preform science... Which will take a while...Actions: 2 (You can choose two things to research!)Treasury: 3$ Million>Research Mutagens!>Research Weaponry!>Research Laser Weaponry!>Research Dragonfuel Propulsion Theory!>Research Vehicles and Armor!>Research Civilian Goods!>Research Espionage!>Research Societal Enhancements!>Research Naval Ships!>Research Rocketry!>Research Industrial Technology!>Research Medicine!>NEW: Research New Building Material!>Research Agriculture!>Research Religion!>Research Radar!>Research Environmental Mutation!>Research those crystals used in lasers?>See about building things to increase research capabilities! >Research Education>Research Magic>Write-InAll of these open up menus anons, don't worry.
>>815275Not yet for now we need to start work on the stuff that will make that possible; modern computers, chemistry, physics and so much more from the "2016 dimension" trip.Then we need to learn some new enchantments; how lighten the craft and strengthen the structure.Lastly, we begin the actual designing.
Holy shit I forgot all about including the internet and computers. Feel free to include that since I'm retarded.
>>815280>Research Industrial Technology!>Research Agriculture!Hear me out here, we are struggling to feed our nation and improving our industrial capacity will just lead to further improvements elsewhere. It'll make the space program easier in the long term.
>>815297Wait we failed to go a whole thread without tumbling?Damnit.>>815298ThisWith Renexizia around food consumption is only going to go up.
Industrial tech and Agriculture.Industrial Tech!Choose one or two!>Clean-Energy Propositions: You can come up with cleaner, safer energy ideas... Such as prototype solar panels, wind, and coming up hydroelectric power!>Monopoly Idea: By granting corporations leeway OVER unions, you can increase factory production and increase the size of corporations who pay more taxes to you and further help your industry! However, this may cause safety problems, lowered product quality, and a unhappy working class.>Fiesta-Union Concept: By granting workers hours in the middle of the day to take breaks and increasing union power, workers become more happy, and safety measures increase more, but corporations become less wealthy and smaller due to increasing the pay of their workers and being less able to compete in the market.>Slave Factories: Industralize your slaves by producing factories for slaves to work in... The more oppressive you are towards your slaves, the more they work... But the more unhappy they are. Worker happiness will fall from having jobs taken from them. (The more oppressive and harsh you are in Slave Factories, the more they produce! They are normally less productive then a normal factory, and if you choose this option, there'll be an addition option for how oppressive you'll be.)>General Improvements: Just focus on upgrading industrial machines and safety measures!>Write-In
>>815355>General Improvements: Just focus on upgrading industrial machines and safety measures!>Clean-Energy Propositions: You can come up with cleaner, safer energy ideas... Such as prototype solar panels, wind, and coming up hydroelectric power!These will be useful for our space program.
>>815358These.If we can she ahead of green tech before the other countries maye we can profit?