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File: Dragon Quest.jpg (209 KB, 1600x1051)
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After last time where I died coincidentally when one of my friends did, and everything was put on hold, I finally came back.
And instead of being a good QM, I decided to play two days worth of Stellaris in grief. I was not lured by the new DLC, shiny shit to blow up, etc...

After a few hours though I will be busy going to a funeral to a friend, so expect a small gap in between posts around noon.

Twitter: QuestingQM
Character Sheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU/edit

Elizabeth eats her meal rather calmly for someone who is about to eat six pancakes, twenty slices of bacon, and two sweetrolls. At least, those were the survivors from earlier, when she was more hungry. You of course, can't help but wonder how to be more romantic... You also do a quick look around the room, and note many people are look at your wife, somewhat concerned... Not to mention whispers. Of course, you give some rather intimidating stares towards them while you finish off your pickled herring (Glazed in butter, of course), and start thinking on how to be romantic...

Actions.

>...You might as well take the dirty way. Ask Elizabeth if she'd like to tumble.
>Hold on, try to grab the plate of food she's eating, and try to bring it slowly closer to you so you can give her a kiss.
>...Romance? Who needs that? Your wife is corrupted by this thoughts of "Humans aren't that inferior" and this MUST be rectified right away!
>There's always an easy way. Try to intimidate the onlookers and claim they're undressing your Elizabeth with their eyes or something.
>Ask Elizabeth if she'd like to get a movie after this... They have those, right?
>You should compliment her dragon form. Women love being complimented...
>Maybe you should try to "understand" humans or at least appear like it, and pretend they're... Heh, "equal" for bonus points.
>You have your own idea on how to be romantic... (Specify)
>Write-In
>>
>>746516
>Maybe you should try to "understand" humans or at least appear like it, and pretend they're... Heh, "equal" for bonus points.
>>
"Liz?"

"Yeah? What?" She says, inbetween mouthfuls of food.

"I was thinking... How exactly do you humans work?"

Roll me a 1d20+7 to see if you can try to understand humans... Or at least pretend to understand.
>>
Rolled 9 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>746622
>>
If anons want to you can samefag.
>>
Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>746669
Nice to see you back QM!
>>
Yeah. My laptop is quite literally about to die.

9+7=16

Borderline Success!

You mostly just nod your head and pretend to understand. You catch a few things, but you do think she enjoyed talking to you (and thinking she changed your mind.)

"So, catch any of that?"

"I heard a lot about Rome."

"Right... Sorry, I rather do like Rome and Athens. Very interesting in my opinion."

"Really?"

"Well, of course. Why do you think I loved your little underground garden with the Greek carvings?"

Actions

>Honestly, I thought you like the statue of you...
>I too, love Rome... And Greece. Want to talk about it?
>What's your favorite thing about it?
>You know I can speak Draconi- I mean, Latin and Greek, right? I can teach you it.
>Let's talk about something else...
>Personally, I don't really like Rome... There's better empires, you know.
>One question... Pre-Imperial Rome, or post-Julius Caesar?
>Write-In
>>
Gonna give a quick bumpity bump.
>>
>>746723
>Honestly, I thought you like the statue of you...
>You know I can speak Draconi- I mean, Latin and Greek, right? I can teach you it.
>I too, love Rome... And Greece. Want to talk about it?
>>
"Well, honestly I thought you liked the statue of you..."

"Of course I do, I just love both your carvings and the statue."

"Yeah... You know, I can speak Draconi- I mean, Latin and Greek, right? If you want, I can teach it to you."

"Sounds interesting... But what were you going to say? Draconic?"

"Well, that's what I think of it as. I mean, I could speak it right out of the womb..."

"I wonder why."

"...There's a lot of questions about my birth... But anyways, I do love Rome as well, along with Greece... Want to talk about it later?"

"Well, sure. As long as you don't confuse Draconic and Latin together."

Actions.

>...I'll have you know it's Draconic, not Latin.
>Latin, Draconic... It's a matter of prespective...
>Well, fine. I'll cede to you the right of calling Draconic as Latin...
>Didn't you know that us Dragons was Romans and shit?
>I love you too.
>You know, it could just be a coincidence.
>So, you know Chrysoula's from Greece, right?
>I promise you that one day, the two of us will go down to Greece, restore it... And go on a tour. It'll be a great honeymoon... Speaking of, we never really went on one, did we?
>Speaking of accents... I really don't have that much of a Swedish accent, right?
>Come on, Sweden's way better then the two of those countries COMBINED.
>You know, I love learning about Hitler and the Romans... I mean, both are so interesting to me. (Start the path of loving Romans as much as Hitler.)
>Greece is better. I mean, without Greece, Western Civilization would never of existed... Or Hitler... (Start the path of loving Greeks as much as Hitler.)
>...So, just curious... Any favorite people from the history of Rome? Like Julius Caesar?
>Write-In
>>
>>746844
>Speaking of accents... I really don't have that much of a Swedish accent, right?
>Latin, Draconic... It's a matter of prespective...

>Write-In
"So who would you rather fight; a roman legion or a Greek shield wall of similar size. No fire breath, magic or such but draconic form is allowed."
>>
"Speaking of accents... I don't really have that much of a Swedish accent, right?"

"Erh... Well, yes..."

"How thick is it?"

"Noticeable... But good, I guess."

"Nice... Women love accents. Anyways, Latin and Draconic is just a matter of perspective... But anyways, who would you rather fight; A Roman Legion, or a Greek shield wall of similar size. No fire breath, ice breath, etc... But Draconic form is allowed."

"Greeks. They don't have ranged weaponry, and I have longer reach then them."

"Huh... Well."

A few more minutes go by with you talking to her about history...

So, anons... Time for something, possibly completely different.
PoV shift!

>Remain as Renexizious and try to seduce your wife further!
>Unknown!
>Charlemagne!
>Viktorious!
>>
>>746920
>Unknown!

Mystery box is very mysterious...
>>
Mystery Box it is.

You are surrounded in blackness, unknowing of who, where, or what exactly you are. Except that your IN something.
What that is, in particular, is lost to you. All that really concerns you is getting out of the blackness... So you slam up against it... And after a little bit, your set free. You fall out of whatever was containing you... And you try to see.

Anons, roll me a 1d20... I'll be back in a while, as I have to go to a funeral.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>747061
>>
Bumping. Oh, and samefagging allowed.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>747061
>>
Finally got out of the funeral. Bumping for later and writing in thirty minutes.
>>
>>747733
Why did you have to go to a funeral? I thought you were from Britain and recently moved to the states for something job related.

Also nice double dubs
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>747061
Nice to see you've returned OP.
>>
>>747798
I did, and guess what? I had to fly back to fucking Britain.
All to get depressed.

Yay.

8

You blink your eyes slowly... You have terrible vision it seems, and you notice that all around you, is a vibrantly colored building... Enclosing you. You feel something poking your feet, so you look down to see green hedges all around... Huh.

Of course, you decide to do some internal thoughts, such as "who am I?" and "Where am I?".
This gets you very far, as you notice three things, first of all you just hatched from an egg, second of all there's some moving pink thing slowly backing away from you (which you recognize as a human), and you seem to be female... Not to mention rather large compared to the human, who seems to be backing away, saying something you don't really understand. So of course, filled with childish curiosity, you decide to act.

Actions.

>Try to wrap your head around what the small human is trying to say?
>Attempt to fly?
>Hold on... Your a dragon! You should give yourself a name or something.
>This building in your way is somewhat of a nuisance. Try to break through it!
>Maybe you can play with this human? Grab it!
>Try to ask the human a question?
>Your sort of hungry. What happens if you eat the human?
>Write-In
>>
>>747892
>Female dragon.
We must hide her from Ren

>Try to wrap your head around what the small human is saying.
>You should give yourself a name.
>>
>>747892
>Try to wrap your head around what the small human is trying to say?
I'm so sorry. I hope things turn out alright for you.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if you can actually understand what the human is saying.
>>
Rolled 17 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>747939
Have a 20
>>
Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>747939
Have a 1
>>
17+5=22

Success!

You begin to somewhat understand what the human is saying. Mostly "Don't eat me! I'm too young to get eaten by a dragon!"

"Hi!" You yell out.

He flinches a little in terror. Meanwhile, you take this innocently and get closer to him.

"Where am I?"

"Y-your in your mother's gardens!"

Mother? Well, that can wait for later... Right now though, you gotta come up with a name for yourself.

Actions.

>Your too cool to have a name!
>Erh... Ask the man if he has any ideas.
>...A name can wait! You have important questions!
>How about... Bassilth? That sounds good?
>Benarth? That sounds alright.
>Go for something a little foreign... Zinnath? Zinnath seems a little weird though.
>Ask the man why he's so nervous you'll eat him!
>Write-In
>>
>>747976
>Ask the man why he's so nervous you'll eat him
>Erh... Ask the man if he has any ideas
My naming skills a shit.
>>
>>747976
>Ask the man why he's so nervous you'll eat him!
>Erh... Ask the man if he has any ideas.
How about Ren?
>>
>>747992
>Ren
I like this idea.
It sounds totally original.
Renexizia?
>>
"Hey uh... Why are you so nervous I'll eat you?"

"W-well, I mean, your a dragon... That's what they do, right?"

"I mean, I don't want to eat you. Anyways... What should I call myself? How about... Renexizia?"

"Erh... That's erh..."

"Great?"

The man gulps.

"Yeah... I guess..."

"Great!" You say, rather excited.

Actions.

>So... Where am I exactly?
>...So, who's my mom? You haven't told me yet!
>Do you know my dad?
>You know, your funny! Why don't you come with me and the two of us can explore or do stuff?
>What's your name?
>Ignore him and try to get out of this courtyard!
>Want to be friends?
>Write-In
>>
>>748064
>You know your funny! Why don't you come with me and the two of us explore and do stuff!
>Want to be friends
>What's your name
This guy is grade A friendship material
>>
"You know what? Your funny! Why don't you come with me and the two of us explore and stuff?"

"I'm su-"

"Come on! We'll be the best of friends! What's your name anyways?"

"I'm uh, Haroldr. I'm supposed to tell your parents when you hatched, but they're uh... Gone."

"Gone? Gone where?"

He shrugs his shoulders.

"So, who's my mom and dad?"

"Erh, well... Your dad is the ruler of Sweden, and he rules over most of Europe, while your mother is the Queen of England..."

"Really? Cool..."

Actions.

>...If they're gone, I'm the Queen, right? Cool! That's how it works, right?
>Come on, get on my head! We're gonna explore a ton, and be best friends forever!
>Well, I gotta become the strongest dragon ever before they come back then...
>Are they nice people? Just curious.
>Come on, we gotta impress them! They'd be so proud, and I'd be the best daughter ever!
>...Why in the world aren't they here? That sucks...
>We gotta find them! There's no time to lose!
>...Aw... Well... I gotta make some friends then until they come back. I can't be lonely forever.
>...What's my dad and mom like? You haven't told me anything about them!
>...Not to sound stupid... But what's a "europe?"
>Write-In
>>
>>748139
>She's Rens child
Now I want to have her wonder off just to troll Ren harder.
>What's my mom and dad like? You haven't told me anything about them.
>We have to find them there is no time to lose!
>>
Waiting fifteen more minutes.
>>
"So erh... What are my mom and dad like? You haven't told me anything about them!"

"Well... They're large, imposing... Scary..."

"Huh... Well, we gotta find them! What if they're dead or something?"

"I mean... I was told to keep you here..."

The guard seems a little nervous.

Actions.

>Come on, it'll be fun! We'll make friends, get money, and maybe make dad proud!
>...Fine, I guess we can stay here.
>...If we stay here, your my caretaker... You know that, right?
>...Try to beg? Whine a little?
>He isn't your mom or dad! Threaten him!
>Come on, you don't have to tell anyone anything! Just say I'm invisible or something!
>Write-In
>>
>>748339
>Puppy dog eyes.
It works for Claw
>>
Even though your reptilian eyes lack the enlargement and adorable features of a canine, you decide to try your best..

Roll me a 1d20+5 to try and be an adorable childish dragon. Additional +2 for adorable things.
>>
Rolled 14 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>748362
Piout and whimper.
This will totally work
>>
You look at Haroldr, pouting and whimpering... The whimpering however, comes out as growling. Oh, right. Reptilian and all that.

14+7=21

Borderline Failure!

"C-come on... Your father would kill me..." He still seems rather nervous.

Actions.

>...You need to further increase the adorableness... Muhahahaha. (Specify How)
>Come on, pretty please? We're best friends forever, aren't we?
>Come on, my dad is the best dad hopefully in the universe. He won't eat you if you help me!
>...If you help me, I won't use you as a toy and throw you around a little...
>Fine then! I'll find someone else!
>He's coming with you no matter what! Try to grab him?
>Aww... Fine...
>Write-In
>>
>>748397
>Increase the adorableness levels!
Roll onto our back with our belly exposed.
Whimper more.
And say
>Pleeaassseeee.
It always works
>>
Dear God, roll me a 1d20+8 to see if he'll break.
>>
Rolled 20 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>748409
He will break.
>>
>>748414
So we are cute now?
Is this going to be our special skill?
Smothering them into submission with adorable?
>>
Critical Success!

You roll unto your back, squishing a few plants.

"Come on.... Pllleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaassssseeeeee?"

He begins sweating nerviously.

"I mean... Y-"

You begin the whimpering, and make sure to water your eyes... You look like your about to cry.

"C-Come on, please don't..."

"W-Why are you such a meanie?" You make sure to say this with a slight lisp, and sniffling.

"I-I... I mean..."

He lets out a breath of air.

"Fine..."

You get up, clearly happy as... Well, some proverb! And grab him, and squeeze him, with a big toothy smile.

"Thank you! This means so much!"

"Please... Let go..."

"Huh? Oh. Sorry."

You stop squeezing him and drop him on the ground. He begins crawling and trying to take a breath of air... And you try to fly. But it seems your wings are too young to fly yet.

"So uh... We kinda have a problem. I'm too young to fly."

Haroldr seems to be taking breaths of air, and turns over.

"Does that mean you'll stay here? Please?"

Actions

>Laugh audibly. You have a QUEST!
>...Erh... Where exactly did my parents go?
>...Try to get his emotional support by looking sad even more!
>Erh... Maybe you can become as small as the human? That would be helpful, you guess.
>Write-In
>>
>>748439
>Eh... Maybe you can become as small as the human? That would be helpful.
>>
Roll me a 1d20 to see if you can in fact shapeshift.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>748459
If we believe hard enough anything is possible
>>
Great Failure!

It seems you lack the ability to shapeshift... That's a uh... Well, a slight problem. Since your surrounded by a building. You can however, shift to about the size of a large car.

"So... Is there any secret exits or anything?"

"No? Why would there be?"

"Well... The only way out is to either smash through the building or try to crawl through it somehow..."

"There's always the choice of staying here..."
You pout slightly as you think how to get out...

Actions.

>Smashing sounds fun! Let's do that!
>...I mean, I'm not fat. So I can totally crawl through a building!
>...Try to climb up it? Even if you weigh a ton?
>Is there a sort of passage for trucks or something? Maybe you can sneak me out that way? Somehow?
>Look disappointed.
>There's always a way out! Why don't we try digging in the garden? Maybe we can TUNNEL our way out!
>Write-In
>>
>>748501
>Tunnel our way out.
Sorry garden.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if you can destroy Elizabeth's garden.
>>
Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>748526
Removing flowers.
>>
3+5=8

Great Failure!

You spend an hour attempting to dig holes. It seems you haven't gotten sharp enough claws to do that yet, and all you've done is deflowered, deshrubed, and destroy the garden.

Haroldr seems to be paniking as you try to come up with a plan to escape this place...

Actions.

>What's a little property damage? Try to smash through the palace!
>Ask Haroldr if there's a truck you can at least try to crawl into.
>When in doubt... Take a nap.
>This is boring... You'll just wait for your parents to come back. (PoV Change)
>Maybe you can crawl through the palace?
>Write-in
>>
>>748547
>Try to smash through the palace.
I'm laughing right now.
Please let this get a 20
>>
You decide to smash through the palace...

"Wait! Don't do it!"

"Huh?"

"Come on, you've already destroyer HER garden! You'll get me killed!"

"I mean, there's no way out..."

"I don't think destroying valuable English architecture is a good idea, come on!"

Actions.

>Try to roar and smash through the building!
>...Aw... Come on, pleeeeease? I just wanna get out.
>Do you have anything else to do?
>...Fine... Well... I guess.
>I'm not going to hurt anyone if mom's concerned about it... This stupid wall is just in the way!
>Come on, you'll be perfectly fine!
>Mom would never hurt one of my friends! Come on!
>Write-in
>>
>>748580
>It's fine. It's fine. Everything is fine.
>Remov walls.
We already started digging his grave. Can't stop now.
>>
"Come on. It's fine... It's fine. Everything is fine."

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if your strong enough to remove walls.
>>
Rolled 7 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>748604
Remov wall!
>>
Feel free to samefag on this roll please.
>>
Rolled 12 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>748631
Got it
Man the dice only care for cute so far it seems.
>>
12+6=18

Minor Success!

You pull some of the wall away, and begin to try and get in. You of course, grab Haroldr and try to climb through the hole you made...

Roll me a 1d20+4 for wiggling.
>>
Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>748641
Wiggle like a worm
(Even though we don't know what that is)
>>
6+4=10

Failure!

You get stuck while climbing through. Great. You try waving your legs and kick the wall, doing very little, while fleeing people in what seems to be a large room with walls with little books on them. You poke one of them and it falls over, sending little white sheets everywhere, Haroldr tells you to be careful as this is the "library".

"Erh... Can you help me?"

"What? I mean... How?" Hardoldr says.

"I'm uh... Stuck. Can you pull me out?"

"Are you trying to get me to pull you out?"

"Well, yeah..."

"I'm not nearly strong enough to do that!"

"Aw... Great. Do you have anything to get me out?"

"I mean, there's a few tubs of butter... But that's for your dad... And also, it's probably for the best you stop trying to get out!"

Actions

>...Come on... Please?
>Squeeze him until he does so!
>...Eliminate another bookshelf. Push one!
>Yell for help!
>Come on... If you help me I'll try my best not to damage the rest of the building.
>Headpat him slightly.
>Write-In
>>
>>748678
>Childlike grin and push down another bookshelf.
>>
You give a childlike grin as you push down a bookshelf onto the floor.

"Seriously! Stop it!"

"Come on, get the stuff and I'll stop it... It's kind of fun, honestly."

"Please don't... God."

"What? I mean, it's kinda fun seeing stuff get destroyed... Now, get me that butter."

"Erh... I guess..."

You drop him on the floor, and he runs off.

Roll me a 1d20+8 to see if butter helps. Or you just take after your father and try to drink it instead.
>>
Rolled 17 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>748701
A one doesn't sound so bad here.
>>
17+8=25

Great Success!

You slide out of the wall thanks to Haroldr running down, chased by a few servants. They quickly flee once they realize what's happening, and he pours butter onto you.

So of course, you slide against the slick wooden floor... Knocking into more bookshelves.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see how much damage is incurred to the library.
>>
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>748713
Low rolls baby
Gimme that one!
>>
2+4=6

AMAZING FUCKING FAILURE!

Your buttered self slides across the floor, knocking into bookshelves, causing them to fail. Haroldr yells in despair as the room becomes a white sheet, buttery mess, and you continue sliding (purposely) since it's so much fun. Eventually you slide over to Haroldr, and you notice your covered in a strange texture, white sheets everywhere, which are also covered in butter... Everywhere you look is covered in butter, safe the walls and roof.

"This is fun! Wheee!!" You slide along, your tail knocking into a painting, smashing it to bits. Haroldr yells in despair. Eternal despair.

"Please! Stop!"

"I don't know if I can!"

You continue to slide...

"Hey uh... Just curious. Is there any food? I'm starving."

"Dear God, knowing you you'll try to cover yourself in butter and attach turkey legs to yourself."

"...What's a turkey? And this butter stuff is edible?"

"Well, yes... Oh, right."

Actions.

>...Let's get something to eat then! Sounds like fun!
>...Uh, sorry about obliterating the library.
>Come on, I have to escape to the streets!
>...More butter sounds like fun. Can we cover myself up in it some more?
>I'm uh... Kinda eager to taste this butter stuff now.
>...Can you get rid of these white sheets on my scales? It's kinda annoying.
>Come on, this is what being friends is all about!!
>Write-In

I'm so intrigued by how pissed off Elizabeth will be once she comes back.
>>
>>748750
>How pissed Elizabeth will be
Well her garden is fucked
A wall is missing the the building.
And her library is done for.
Haroldr seems to be in deeps shit.

>Come on, I have to escape to the streets!
We can eat later.
Maybe we'll find food outside.
>>
"Come on, we've got to get to the streets!"

"I'd argue that's erh... Well, worse. Probably from the d-"

You grab him, and go up to a wall...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if you can tear it down!
>>
Rolled 15 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>748787
OP can you quantify how much damage we've caused in dollars?
A gross estimate would do.
>>
Let's see.

About $3,000,000 USD.

15+6=21

Success!

You tear through another wall and emerge onto the street, where lots of strange metal objects seem to be... After a few seconds they begin to zoom off, like ants!

"What are those?"

"Erh, cars."

You look around the outside, and see EVEN more buildings... Restaurants, terrified bystanders, cars, and a street... Now of course, you gotta find out where your dad went!

Actions.

>...Loudly shout Hi at the bystanders!
>Try your best at a roar!
>...Food sounds nice... A restaurant?
>Try to chase after some of the cars! It seems like fun!
>Erh, Haroldr? Do you know where my mom and dad went?
>Your sort of bored... Time to play a bit with the strange poles the cars are stopping at!
>Try to kick a car! How far can you launch it?
>Loudly yell for the directions to the dock. You have feeling mom and dad could be overseas or something...
>Write-In
>>
>>748826
>Try your best to roar
A roar in celebration of freedom.
>Food sounds nice... A restaurant?
Now we storm them for food.


>3,000,000 USD
I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed.
I'll just go with proud.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4 to try and perfect your roaring.
>inb4 squeak.

>>748844
I'm surprised you didn't just stay and try to destroy all of it to have a high score forever.
>>
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>748855
It would be fun to stay and just wreck shit but we have a QUEST!
I'm kind of playing renexizia as childish and semi destructive but able to do other shit.
Of course if we don't find them in a bit I'll have her return because boredom a shit.
>>
2+4=6

Amazing Failure!

You let out a squeak. You begin to blush, embarrassed of your lack of roaring... So you just ignore the confused looks at you and you just go to find a restraunt or something while walking down a street.

"Where the hell are we going?"

"Well, I'm sorta hungry... And I smell food everywhere."

Of course, you go for a casual stroll.... Occasionally you crush an uninhabited car or two, dealing some minor property damage, until you come across somesort of place, which smells of grease and meat. Huh. You press your face up against a window to the restaurant, and look in greedily. Haroldr seems slightly concerned, but seems to have accepted his fate in being your semi-accomplice.

"You hungry?"

"C-can we just move along? Please?"

Actions.

>...Press your face THROUGH the glass.
>Come on, I mean... We'll do the awesome way! We'll break in, like... Erh, what's the word when you take something without asking?
>Is it free? I'm curious...
>Fiiiiinneeee... Your such a bore.
>Try to cram in through the glass doors!
>Haroldr, why don't you go in and get me something to eat, pretty please?
>Write-In
>>
>>748892
>Break in and take the food without asking.
We don't pay for things.
We aren't even a day old.
>>
Truly, Renexiza is the hero we need.
And possibly Slavic at this rate.

You begin to pry the wall down... Which is made of stone yet again! Not to mention somesort of sign saying "Wimpy". Which is in your way...

Roll me a 1d20+6. Additional +2 if you can think of what Renexiza would like to eat...


I'm just saying, but I think the total cost in damages will be a lot higher by the time the night is over.
>>
Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>748909
What she would eat.
Butter(it's fun) lettuce(after fucking up a garden she might be wondering how green stuff tastes)
And meat(it smells tasty)
I have an expert understanding of dragon babies.
>>
12+8=20

Success!

You tear down the wall and enter, knocking seats down and sending some people running, along with a small family. You put your head up to the counter.

"So uh... Can I have food?"

The clerk seems terrified.

"W-What do you want?"

You look up at the sign, and crudely begin asking for butter, lettuce, and meat.

"S-so you want a hamburger?"

"What's that?"

"It's uh... It's bread, meat, lettuce, tomato..."

"Is there butter?"

"I-I mean, we can put some on... I think."

Actions.

>...Yay! That sounds great!
>...I'll have all your hamburgers. I'm a growing dragon, after all!
>...What's this metal thing you put green slips into? Can I have it?
>Oooh! What else do you serve here?
>Haroldr, want anything?
>Why is everyone terrified of me? I just made my own entrance...
>...Can I have a tub of butter to go?
>This is taking too long. Grab the clerk and throw him to the side and just head to the storeroom if there is one!
>Write-In
>>
>>748938
>I'll have all your hamburgers.
At this point money means nothing.
>Haroldr do you want anything?
>>
"I'll have all your hamburgers, please!"

"S-sure... That'll take a while, though..."

Haroldr chimes in.
"Make it a kids meal, please."

"...What's that? And Haroldr, do you want anything?"

"Sanity, mostly."

"Do they serve that here?"

"Last I checked, no."

You decide to patiently sit in a corner for your burgers with Haroldr.

"So, we're best friends forever still, right? Because you kinda sound angry at me."

"What? No. It's erh... Well... I was sort of hoping it wouldn't get this insane."

Actions.

>Come on, you don't have to be so down.
>I'll turn that frown upside down then. Come on, your traveling with the funinator! Which is me!
>Gee, if your going to be like that I might as well find a new best friend.
>...What, are you jealous I'm eating all the hamburgers? I bet they taste great!
>...Try to appeal to his emotions. Act sad that he's non-emotional.
>Insane? What are you talking about?
>Can I ask you a few questions?
>Write-In
>>
>>748967
>What are you talking about? This is fun. Lets do more stuff like all this!
>So do you know where Mom and Dad are?
>>
"What are you talking about? This is fun! Let's do more stuff like this!"

He shakes his head.

"What's with you and being a letdown..."

"Well, your idea of fun is to run around and do property damage, which I'm indirectly responsible for... At least you aren't trying to do anything to your father's slaves or something."

"Slaves?"

"Erh, forget I said anything. That just... Well, it won't end well."

"Aw... So do you know where Mom and Dad are?"

"Erh, I think they're in Paris or something. It was left vague to me."

"Oh... Where's that?"

"It's on the mainla- Oh goddamn it, we're going there next, aren't we?"

"Well, yeah!"

"C-can we at least spare the Louvre of you destroying it's paintings?"

You laugh tremendously, and a few hamburgers, glazed in butter, come over... And you see they're rather small. The waiter tells you more are coming, and quickly runs off.

"Are they supposed to be this small?"

"Well, I mean, this is large for a human."

"I can eat this in one bite!"

"Erh, well... Can you please just eat?"

Actions

>Be a little bit petty. Eat the burgers. And a little bit of the table.
>Fiineee...
>No! I demand representation! Bigger Burgers for Dragons!
>It's not a problem. I'm not stuck-up about my food at all!
>...Hey uh... What's a slave?
>You know, I might as well go outside and eat all of the employee's cars! How dare they!
>...Just curious... What do you think people taste like? I'm uh... Well, they smell edible, I guess.
>Write-in
>>
>>748988
>Fiiinee..
Time to unsettle him.
>What are slaves?
>Why do people smell edibles. What do they taste like?
>>
"Fiineee..."

You eat the burgers in a single gulp. You don't even feel close to satisfied... But you do admit it does taste good.

"So uh... What are slaves?"

"They're uh... Well, forced labor. Used by your dad, mostly."

"Really?"

"Well... yeah..."

"Huh... And uh... Why do people smell edible? What do they taste like?"

He seems a little unsettled.

"That's a uh.... Very wrong and worrying thing to say, I guess."

Actions.

>...Aw... So it's bad to eat people?
>Your just jealous you can't eat anyone. I bet they taste delicious!
>Can I have my own slave?
>Come on, my dad is cool! His slaves are probably cool as well! Can I have slaves now?
>I was just curious...
>Do you think I should eat a bystander or two outside? I mean, that would make up for me being unable to roar...
>Try to creep him out more by staring at him, licking your mouth, and trying to forcibly get your stomach to growl.
>Write-In
>>
>>749004
>Lick him
>"You do taste edible!"
>So what's my Mom and Dad like?
>>
You lean over, sniff him, and lick him.

"Huh! You do taste edible!"

He is extremely creeped out by this.

"Oh, don't worry. I don't plan on eating you! Your my best friend! So uh... What's my mom and dad like?"

"Well... Erh... Your mom is sort of... Well, she's known for being very ravenously hungry... And eating nearly every British noble, from what I hear."

"People?"

"Well, yes... I think."

"Cool! So WE can eat people!"

"Please don't."

"Yay! I mean, erh... Boo?"

"Your mom is erh... Well, I think is being replaced or something. By some other girl, German-sounding."

"...Replaced?"

"I think, yeah."

"...Huh... So uh, what about my dad?"

"He conquered Norway, and most of Europe. And most people dislike him or just fear him, honestly."

"How could anyone dislike my dad?"

"I'm uh... Let's talk about something else, ok? I"m probably not the best person to talk to about politics."

Actions.

>...So... How can he replace my mom?
>Are you saying I'll have TWO moms?
>Is he nice towards his children? Like, actively takes care of them, go out with them, that sort of thing?
>So uh... Where are you from?
>Let's stop talking about it. It sounds boring.
>...So uh... Why does everyone dislike him according to you?
>Write-In
>>
>>749044
>So uh... Why does everyone dislike him according to you?
>So... How can he replace my mom?
Ren really needs to up his PR.
At this rate renexiza will gain negative feelings on him.
>>
"So uh... Why does everyone dislike him according to you?"

"It's erh... It's not suitable for you. Your too young, ok?"

"Your young yourself!"

"I... I know. I just want to talk about something else, ok? Like erh... How's uh..."

You see that talking to him about why people dislike your dad won't get you anywhere, so you try a different line of questioning.

"So uh... How can he replace my mom?"

"He's gotten a few new ones... And he's disappeared. I mean, seriously. With the amount of children he has, it's obvious he's seeing other women."

"Other women?"

"It's uh... I mean... Come on. Just eat your hamburgers, ok?"

Another plate of hamburgers get put in front of you, which you eat lightening fast.

Actions.

>Come on, we're best friends! You can tell me anything!
>Well... I'll just ask him a BUNCH of questions when I meet him!
>...Now I feel sort of bad... Let's talk about something else...
>How many kids does he have?
>So uh... How would he treat me? I'm sort of curious,
>Write-In
>>
>>749062
>Pout and whimper. With more puppy dog eyes.
This our secret weapon.
He will answer us.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7 to break him.
>>
Rolled 14 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>749075
Rollan.
>>
14+7=21

Good Success!

You begin to pout... And growl. Which is your form of whimpering... And you try to do watery reptilian eyes as you look at him. He tries looking away... Until he's forced to look back at you. He unleashes a massive sigh.

"Fine... I guess I'll tell you."

"Yay! Do tell!"

"I'm erh... Where do you want to start?"

"Why does everyone dislike my dad?"

"Well... He's erh... He's a brutalistic dictator who enslaves people, has people worship him, tries to make people into half-dragons, and pursues wars just for his own glory with no regard to civilian life..."

"Oh... That doesn't sound so nice."

"...It's not."

"Why does my dad sound so... Well, mean?"

Haroldr just shrugs his shoulders.

"I don't know why."

"So uh... Could you tell me who my dad hangs out with?"

"Somesort of minotaur and a German girl. That's all I really know..."

"Would you care if I asked for your personal opinion on my dad?"

"Well, since I'm probably going to get killed for you recking his wife's home, sure. I dislike hm."

"Why?"

"Besides what I stated? He conquered my country, enslaved some of the people from it, and does nothing about the Yuan Ti besides offer them money..."

"Yuan-Ti?"

"They infested Oslo... They took my brother's manufacturing job away from him and he was forced to move elsewhere to avoid poverty."

"I'm erh... Sorry. I guess."

"It's fine... Just eat your hamburgers, ok?" He seems a little upset. Not enough to have a tear or anything, but somewhat stressed out.

Actions

>...Alright... Sorry.
>I'm sorry about what my dad's done... But he has good intentions hopefully...
>Want a hug?
>Want a hamburger?
>Just saying, you seem a lot nicer then my dad apparently.
>...Why does my dad do that? It just seems mean...
>Did anyone you know get enslaved?
>Now I sort of don't want to find him...
>...So uh... Why wasn't he here when I was born? Or my mom?
>So uh... Do I have any siblings?
>Write-in
>>
>>749126
>Why does my dad do that? It seems mean?
>Why wasn't he here when I was born? Or my mom?
>So do I have any siblings? And how does dad treat them?
>>
"So uh... Why does my dad do that? It seems sort of mean..."

"I have no idea... Let's uh, talk about something else, ok?"

"Well... Why wasn't he here when I was born? Or my mom?"

"I erh... I think I overheard something about helping his brother or something... I don't remember though. Your mom's out with him."

"Oh. So uh... Do I have any siblings? And how does dad treat them?"

"Plenty, and I think decently? Though he tends to ignore them. None of the guards can really remember a time he tried to bond with any of them."

"Oh... I was... I was sort of picturing my dad trying to bond with me or something... Like hanging out a lot... That sort of thing." You feel a little saddened by this. Just a little.

He shifts a little uncomfortably.

"I mean... That doesn't mean he hates you or anything, I think he's just busy..."

Actions.

>...I erh... I don't want to see my dad now. He just seems mean.
>Well... I mean, having a dad who's not really around is fun, I guess.
>Come on, when we meet him I bet we can try to get him to hang out with us a ton!
>Well, I'm different... One way or the other, he'll bond with me!
>I feel kinda sad now.
>...Come on, he'll explain it to us when we meet him.
>...We should try to get him to bond with my brothers and... Erh, sisters maybe? I mean, that seems fun! And rewarding!
>So uh... What are my siblings like?
>Write-in
>>
>>749168
>Well I want to meet them!
>Let's go back to the palace. Maybe they have more food. Then we can go find them. And maybe visit that Louvre place.
and maybe eat some priceless art while we're there
>>
"Well, I want to meet them... But uh, let's go back to the palace! Maybe they have more food! Then we can go find them. And visit that Louvre place. It sounds cool... And totally not tasty."

"So, how much property damage are you going to do this time?"

"I dunno."

The rest of the burgers are brought to you, and you begin eating it... When you see Haroldr take out something with leather, and ask the waiter how much it costed...

Actions.

>Thank the waiter for giving you a good meal... Even if it was a bit small.
>...Your sorta curious. And you sorta want to skip out on the tab. Nom the waiter!
>So uh... What are you doing? I thought food was free here.
>Just wait until he's ready to go!
>...Uh... Crap. Grab the waiter and toss him, and grab Haroldr, and prepare to run for it!
>Shout "Fire!" and breathe ice! While everyone's distracted, run for it!
>Ask the waiter if he'd like to be your slave!
>Write-in
>>
>>749185
>So uh... What are you doing? I thought food was free here.
>Shout "Fire!" and breath ice! While everyone is distracted run for it.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5 how effective shouting "Fire" is while as a white dragon. Who can't breathe fire. And is covered in buttery paper.
>>
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>749194
That sounds like a bad dream.
Or a good nightmare.
>>
8+5=13

Minor Failure!

Gonna take a bath anons, so expect a small delay. Also, just curious... Is this a nice change of pace compared to being Renexizious?

You yell "Fire!", grab your friend, and make a run for it. Of course, they put two and two together and yell for you to stop, but you begin rushing back to the palace... After a little bit of stepping on cars, mailboxes, and other pointy stuff, you take a breather... As you turn towards the palace, you see that a few men are trying to patch up the hole you made in the wall... Of course, you could always enter through the front door. Which is locked.

Actions.

>...Maybe you should ask Haroldr if there's any place you can stay at for a while... Or at least long enough to eat, bathe, and get rid of the papers on you.
>Rush the construction crew and re-enter through the library! You already can't wait to have more fun indoors!
>Try to open the front door?
>You'll just head to the docks or something... You can get a ride there!
>Write-In
>>
>>749205
It's fun.
We're playing as a child dragon that so far has shown complete disregard for the property damage she has caused.
But had absolutely no ill intent when causing said damage.
Though things might go south once Ren and Elizabeth come back. Oh well. We're an innocent adorable young dragon.

>Just break down the front door.
>>
Realizing that you'd rather not disrupt the workers, you decide to break down the front door.

By charging it, head on. Haroldr braces for your charge.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to break doors.
>>
Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>749210
When a hole in the wall closes a door gets smashed open.
>>
6+5=11

Great Failure!

You ram up against the door. And you hit your head, denting the wall... And giving you a nasty bump on your head. You are injured slightly from this.

"Oooww... That hurt a lot..."

"You alright?"

"Well, yeah... But I gotta show this door who's boss!" You let out a roar... Which is more or less a squeak.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to show the door who's boss.
>>
Rolled 16 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>749217
>Renexizia's favored enemy: Doors and fortified structures.
>>
16+4=20

Success!

You rip off the hinges and it falls. So of course, you go inside, and see somesort of throne, complete with chalendbra's, suits of black metal holding a long sharp stick, and... Oooh, art. Portraits...

Actions.

>...You gotta relax after demolishing a door! Time for playtime!
>...You smell food! Run towards the kitchen!
>You smell food. Walk calmly towards the kitchen and avoid property damage.
>Even if the throne doesn't fit you, try to sit in it! Your queen now! Rawr!
>...Find some stairs, and see if Haroldr can indeed, surf down it on portraits. Then if they don't break, you try it!
>...Eat the portraits. On accident, of course.
>Write-In
>>
>>749225
>Eat the portraits. On accident, of course.
>Even if the throne doesn't fit you, try to sit on it! Your queen now! Rawr!
Culminating with
>You smell food! Run toward the kitchen.
if we can
>>
Oh boy, trying to max out on destroying your mother's palace.

Roll me a 1d20 for further property damage.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>749231
>Inb4 Nat 1
>>
Failure!

You start eating portraits, which do in fact, taste very good... And that's when you decide to sit on your mother's throne... Which crumples it. After a little while of throwing knights and chalendbra's around, you run towards the kitchen, knocking over servants, a vase or two, and leaving small marks in marble where your claws were. Of course, you find the kitchen... But you also see a pool outside. Enough to fit you at your nose... Hm. But you then turn your attention to the kitchen, and you lick your mouth... And head into the kitchen.

Roll me a 1d20+4 for how lacking the kitchen is now.
>>
Rolled 19 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>749239
If there's nothing here we can try and eat the throne.
>>
19+4=23

Good Success!

You utterly devour the contents of the kitchen, emptying it. However, your stomach is BLOATED to an extreme, but you feel full... And let out a rather nasty burp as you crawl out... After some waiting, your belly begins to no longer look inflated and looks semi-normal, if a bit round... Haroldr however, is attempting to clean up what you've broken so far...

Actions.

>...Go to the pool! You need a bath, since your covered in butter and paper...
>You are rather dirty... Roll around on the floor and try to clean it off!
>You sort of want to see where mom's chamber is. Maybe you can play in there?
>Enough playtime... Your stuffed, and you need to find your parents!
>Try to eat the throne! Even if you sat on it!
>Try to play games with the servants here, like chasing them around and whatnot!
>...You sort of feel like taking a nap after such a meal... Head to the freezer and nap for a while.
>Dig holes for buried treasure throughout the palace!
>Write-In
>>
>>749245
>Go to the pool! You need a bath, since your covered in butter and paper...
>You sort of want to see moms chamber. Maybe you can play in there?
Then we can start digging for treasure
Then!
After this then we can begin the search.

Also OP would you mind giving another damage estimate?
>>
About $4,500,000 USD. $500,000 was from the kitchen.

You go to the pool... And calmly step in. You notice that the butter and paper comes off, and you roll around for a bit, breaking the edges of the pool a bit but nothing more. You step out, and notice the pool is... Well, it's dissolved the paper and butter covering you!
This smells of magic... And you see a few runes dotted around the pool. Huh.

Actions.

>...There's only one thing to do then... Cannonball!
>Drink a ton of the water, but hold in your mouth, run inside, and start trying to spray water everywhere!
>Freeze the water with your breath!
> Try to drink the water!
>...It's kind of soothing. Get into it and relax.
>...Break the runes!
>Aw... Search for mom's chambers then...
>Write-in

This is possibly the best welcome-home present ever.
>>
>>749252
>Drink a ton of water but hold it in your mouth. Then spray it all in mom's chambers

And I assume haroldr is just crying in a corner?
>>
At this point, probably.

You drink tons of the water... Which starts to go back into the pool somehow, and you take the water in your mouth, and try to find your mom's room... After a bit of searching and going up stairs, you find your mom's room, and in shock you spit your water everywhere. A ton of water soaks through the room, and you hear the floorboards crackle... And slightly collapse, with your mother's bed hitting the first floor, along with other previous jewelry, Which you eat, and you of course, squish your mom's bed. This is fun!

Of course, that leaves the pool... Which you go towards...

Actions.

>Break the runes!
>Drink the water until it's all gone!
>...Cannonball! Yay!
>Freeze the water!
>Just relax in it.
>...You need to find something to pollute it... Maybe some of your mom's makeup and other things could work?\
>Nah. You like pools. Try to find TREASURE!
>Write-In
>>
File: download (21).jpg (11 KB, 275x183)
11 KB
11 KB JPG
>>749256
Oh so the pool has magic acid water.
>Start spraying the water everywhere.
This water is fun as shit.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 for supersoaking your mom's palace.
>>
Rolled 5 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>749260
Soaking it up.
>>
Minor Success!

You spray water everywhere! Soaking people, objects, everything! After a bit though, the water begins shutting off... Aw... So of course, you begin searching for treasure while Haroldr just glares at you in a corner, drinking somesort of drink, which smells funny. He also talks a little funny...

Roll me a 1d2d0+4 to finalize destroying your mom's palace.
>>
Rolled 1 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>749264
This is how you break in a house.
>>
File: download (15).jpg (7 KB, 249x202)
7 KB
7 KB JPG
>>749266
That's not good.
That's not good at all.
>>
You fail to even penetrate carpet with your claws. You are a little disappointed, but the palace is nearly unsalvagable. You of course, finish it off by eating everything valuable left, and you slump in a corner, full, bloated, and tired...

This is fun!

Until of course, you hear something creaking from below. As you look down, some of the soggy floorboards begin to give way to your weight...

Roll me a 1d20 to dodge!
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>749269
DODGE!
>>
You barely get out of the way in time as the floorboards collapse, and you pant, out of breath...

"This is fun! Woo!"

Of course, all fun times have to end, so you begin to take your leave with the funny-smelling Haroldr...

PoV shift anons?

>Remain as Renexiza and her travel to Paris!
>Go back to Renexizious!
>Viktorious!
>Charlemagne!
>>
I'm passing out now, by the way anons.
Sorry.
>>
>>749272
>Go back to Renexizious.

So yeah looks like renexiza is not the quit type.
>>749274
That's fine I needed rest anyways.
Night OP.
>>
Giving a bump for later!
>>
Final bump. Writing in a hour or so if no one else responds,
>>
You are now Renexizious!

You take a deep breath of air. This date is going well enough, you suppose. Both of you are nerding out somewhat about Romans or whatnot, while everyone looks on to the two of you somewhat confused.

"So, I'm done eating. Want to go now?"

"You are?"

"Well, yes."

"Did you like dinner?"

"Of course I did. Thank you for it, Ren."

Actions.

>Come on, let's stay a bit longer, ok?
>...Wanna tumble right here, right now?
>Come on, we'll do and see more things...
>Eh, the food is subpar... Let's leave before someone asks for us to pay for it.
>Write-In
>>
Jeez, no anons alive today.

Bumping and waiting for a response.
>>
>>749850
>Come on, we'll do and see more things...


We should go see a film, people like films. Not to mention them selling butter covered popcorn... Anyhow, continue the date!
>>
"Come on, we should go see a film... I mean, that sounds nice..."

You briefly remind yourself that cinemas often sell butter-covered popcorn... Elizabeth of course gets up and the two of you leave, paying for your meal... Which hurts your already rather small wallet of United States dollars...

You take her to a cinema, and pay for a ticket, and two tubs of popcorn... Then you decide on what film to take her to...

Roll me a 1d20+4. If anons want to, feel free to come up with a film.
>>
Anons?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>749976
Comedy(1), action(2) or horror(3).


>>750054
Sorry, was busy.
>>
Horror? Huh. Seems like the dice gods like tradition.

Now roll pls.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>750067
1D20 right?
>>
10+4=14

Borderline Success!

Elizabeth watches it with you, but doesn't seem so scared. Rather, she claims that it's "rather tame" to what you've seen, even if the graphics have never been seen before, or it's in color, etc... You leave with Elizabeth, having enjoyed (Though not embraced or loved) the movie.

"Could be better... Who was directing it, honestly? I barely understood anything!" She says.

Actions

>Come on, I'll make it up to you with some good-old-fashioned tumbling.
>Who said we were done? Let's watch another movie!
>Grh... Well, want to do something as a dragon?
>...I feel like we should spend some time trying to get power here. Just saying.
>Let's head home, I'm tired of being in this strange dimension...
>...Try to scare her?
>Write-In
>>
>>750163
>...Try to scare her?
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you can scare her. Additional +2 for possible scary things to do to her.
>>
Rolled 2 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>750285
Can't think of any that wouldn't result in us getting hurt.
>>
Well, with your rolls, you might want to do so.

Samefagging allowed for now, anons.
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>750322
By the power of greyskull, I have the rolls!
>>
>>750342
This is getting ridiculous.
>>
Nope.

3+3=6

Amazing Failure!

You try to sneak up behind your wife... And you trip, slamming into your wife's buttocks. She turns around, and looks, glaringly at you.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"...Trying to be sneaky."

"Well, stop doing it. People might think your perverted or something."

"I'm not perverted..."

"Heh, NOT with the stuff I've seen. But I suppose marrying a dragon is also a touch perverted in a sense."

"...Come on, what I do in bed isn't that perverted." You say, as you begin to get up. She begins laughing heavily.

"If this wasn't on a sidewalk, I'd remind you."

"...Besides, who said marrying a dragon was perverted? It's perfectly normal."

She begins laughing as the two of you walk down the sidewalk.

"So, if I didn't know any better I'd say your trying your best to make up for your lack of tumbling skills earlier."

Actions.

>Come on, no I'm not. (Truth or Lie)
>Well, of course I am.
>...I'm trying to get a SECOND tumble in, ok?
>...Is it working or not?
>Come on, I'm not a pervert... Not in a million years.
>Write-in
>>
Bumpity Bump.
>>
>>750458
>Come on, no I'm not. (Truth)
>Write-in
"If I wanted to do that, I'd take you back to the other dimension for a session of loving."
>>
"Come on, no I'm not. If I wanted to do that, I'd take you back to the other dimension for a session of loving."

"I see, well... Anyways..."

The two of you begin chatting some more, when the two of you come across a rather fancy jewelry store... Your wife does indeed, seem tempted.

"...You know, I wonder if they have any rubies..."

"Erh, Elizabeth?"

"Hm?"

"You want some jewelry?"

"Well, jewelry's always nice. But right now I'm curious if they have any rubies, mostly so I can complete a collection."

"Collection?"

"Well, I have a collection of gems and crystals at home... Which I enjoy looking at through a microscope."

"Ah, right."

"Anyways, when we aren't busy I'll probably come back to buy some... Now, onto something else... Firstly, have you noticed something?"

"What?"

"Well, nearly every young person we pass who's looking at their bright glowing rectangle thing hasn't even so much as looked at us. And if we run into them, they don't even apologize..."

"What's the problem here?"

"I mean, I'm used to people having SOME sort of manners."

"Is this a personal rant?"

"...Erh, not a rant. But an observation, really."

Actions.

>Well... You don't think there's mind control or something going on, do you?
>It's just how the youth acts, dear. Let's continue on...
>...I see. Well, I'll make sure to get confrontational if we encounter anymore of them again. Which should be easy enough.
>...You know, why don't I get you some jewelry?
>...Maybe we should get one of those rectangle things. I'm curious in what they are.
>...We're from a different age, you know. For all we know they could use telepathy to apologize or something.
>That's just you being used to being around the Brits. The American's are much more blunt.
>I feel old. Great.
>...Let me guess, we're going to solve this by making America a colony again?
>Write-In
>>
>>750630
>...I see. Well, I'll make sure to get confrontational if we encounter anymore of them again. Which should be easy enough.
>...We're from a different age, you know. For all we know they could use telepathy to apologize or something.
>...Maybe we should get one of those rectangle things. I'm curious in what they are.
>Well... You don't think there's mind control or something going on, do you?
>>
"Well, I see. Well, I'll make sure to get confrontational if we encounter any more of them... You don't think it's mind control, right?"

"It could be?"

"Hm... Well on one hand we're from a different age, so for all we know they could use telepathy. But I think we should get one of those rectangle things. I'm curious."

"Well, I'll follow your lead."

Actions.

>...Why don't you shapeshift a little? People will for sure notice that.
>...Mug a rectangle user!
>Try to find a store that sells the glowing rectangles?
>...Grab a rectangle-user and try to get them to pay attention to you!
>...Nah, this will come later.
>...Find the nearest rectangle user and defend your wife's honor with fisticuffs!
>Write-In
>>
>>750738
>...Grab a rectangle-user and try to get them to pay attention to you!
>...Why don't you shapeshift a little? People will for sure notice that.
>>
>>750630
>A collection of gems and crystals at home.
Well oops.
She is in for a bad surprise.
>>750802
I am not even sure we can shapeshift but supporting.
>>
"Hey uh, Liz? Why don't you shapeshift a little?"

"Erh, why?"

"Well, I can't. But we should get their attention somehow."

"Ren, I think you can do that as a normal human without my help."

Actions.

>...Come on, pleeeease? I love it when you shapeshift...
>It's not full-blown dragon form.. Just half-dragon form.
>Come on, imagine the looks on their faces!
>...If you do it, I'll buy you some jewelry.
>Fine, I guess...
>Sigh, and grab a nearby rectangle user!
>Write-In
>>
>>750931
>Sigh and grab a nearby rectangle user.
Sorry rectangle user.
>>
Roll me a 1d20 for luck. First roll only though. please.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>750947
Rollan
>>
16

Success!

You sigh, and go to grab the nearest guy... Who seems to be a businessman.

"Erh, what do you want? Can you get your hands off my suit? I'm trying to text a friend that I'll be late for work."

"Erh, text?"

"Well, of course. The office's phones are down."

Actions.

>...What the fuck is a text?
>Let go and apologize. He needs it or something.
>...Can I borrow it?
>What exactly is that rectangle thing?
>I'll pay you if you let me have that.
>...Punch him in the gut!
>...Liz, could you be a dear and shapeshift?
>Write-In
>Write-In
>>
>>750966
>What the fuck is a text?
>What exactly is that rectangle thing.
This makes me realize we really need to get on that internet creation thing.
>>
"Erh, what the fuck is a text?"

"It's a message you send using letters over the phone."

"Phone? You mean telephone."

"Erh, sure. It's a cellphone."

You seem confused, clearly.

"It's erh, not a landline. Is it a radio?"

"No? It's a phone."

The man gives you a rather strange look, clearly confused by your confusion.

"How don't you know what this stuff is?"

You shrug your shoulders...

Actions.

>...Thank him and walk off.
>...Punch him! That phone will be yours!
>...Grab his phone!
>Can I borrow it?
>I'll pay you if you give me it.
>Write-In
>>
>>750985
>I'll pay you if you give it to me.
We have gold coins on us right?
We should also try to buy some computers.
>>
"Listen, I'll pay you if you give it to me, ok?"

"Listen, I got t-"

You take out a small purse of gold coins, and open it slightly. He looks at it greedily, and you take out three golden coins, bearing the symbol of Bretonnia.

"I'll pay you... Oh, seven of these, if you give me your phone."

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if he takes it, turns it down, or tries to haggle.
>>
>>750985
>Write-In
"Long story, I am guessing you missed the story about the dragon on the news? I'm involved and don't know anything about modern tech."


>>750995
We should also see about getting some chemistry, Biology, Physics and other scientific books. If we can just shortcut our nations development all the way to carbon-fibre, advanced plastics, light, powerful computers and other such advances then we can perform a space race with America and win instantly or do anything else we want.
>>
Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>751003
>>
18+4=22

Good Success!

The businessman is easily tempted, and he takes the seven gold coins and runs off, and hands you his phone... And tells you the password. You begin trying to figure out how this works...

Roll me a 1d20+8 for decoding how a cellphone works.
>>
Rolled 20 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>751028
We shall into tech.
>>
Critical Success!

In a matter of minutes, you figure out how a phone works with ease, and even manage to figure out how to dissemble and reassemble it... You of course, don't know HOW to assemble the electronic parts or what they do, but you do know how to make a rudimentary cellphone you could try to make back home as an idea... Not to mention you get a very, very basic idea of what artificial intelligence is, and what it can do.

Of course, this makes you rather inspired...

Actions.

>...You need MORE inspiration. Head to a bookstore!
>...Maybe this "wikipedia" thing can help you... You just need to figure out some stuff...
>...You need a base of operations for some research. You have plenty of ingenious ideas...
>There's only one way to fuel creativity. Head to a sci-fi bookstore.
>Eh, this can wait. Your with your wife...
>Write-In
>>
>>751050
>Head to a bookstore
We need to get books on the sciences and such as we can.
>>
You begin to go into a nearby bookstore, and you notice you've finally run out of USD. So your forced to buy with your remaining twelve gold coins... Of course, you leave with two shopping carts worth of books, and missing four gold coins... At this point, you decide to purcahse a computer at a nearby electronics store...

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can haggle for one...
>>
Rolled 3 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>751077
They won't get all our shekels!
>>
Rolled 11 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>751077
>>
11+4=15

Minor Failure!

You of course bargain for it... But it comes to a standstill. He apparently wants more, and you lack enough to actually afford the computer... Or, at least a decent one. The clerk offers you a rather old computer, ancient really... In exchange for only 6 coins.

Actions.

>...Eh, a shitty computer is good enough. Take it.
>You have one at home. Leave.
>Laugh... And have Liz Shapeshift. You want a discount.
>...Leave. And then plan on how to steal it.
>Write-In
>>
>>751094
Mention that we can probably just find some computer store that's less stingy to take fucking gold coins that are probably actually worth more than the computer we asked for.
>>
>>751094
>Write-In
Ask how old it is.
>>
"You know, I probably can find a store that's less stingy to take fucking gold coins then a computer."

"You asked for our latest and biggest model, with the mos-"

"And? That amny gold coins?"

"How the fuck am I supposed to know how much gold is worth? I'm clerk! Pay in dollars or something."

"Grh... How old is the computer your offering me?"

"I think ten years old. Windows ninety six operating software, the works, really."

Actions.

>Find another place!
>...Fine. I'll do it.
>Come on, these coins are shiny...
>Don't worry, I can get an expert in.
>Do you have a manager?
>Try to intimidate him!
>Please? Come on, I have to give it to someone for their birthday...
>Write-in
>>
>>751121
>Write-in
I am going to go check what another store will offer me. If it is better I shan't return, otherwise I'll be back.
>>
>>751121
>Do you have a manager
>Can't you like. Search it on a computer or something. I think they can do that.
>>
"Can't you look it up?"

"I don't have a weight or anything. I don't even know if it's real gold..."

"Do you have a manager?"

"Well, yeah."

"...I'm going to check out another store and if they'll offer me more. If not, I'll be back."

You storm out the door...

Actions.

>...You need to convert this gold into USD. Maybe there's a pawnbroker or something around here...
>...You have a ton of books. You should start reading them, though it'll take a while... (PoV shift while you learn!)
>Your getting a fancy huge computer one way or the other. Your breaking in!
>...This isn't worth it. Just don't do anything.
>Find a better store!
>Write-In
>>
>>751147
>Find a better store!
>>
>>751147
>Find a better store!
>>
You try to find a better store. Roll me a 1d20+4
>>
Rolled 19 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>751163
>Places with affordable high performance PCs
>Results:Nowhere.
>>
19+4=23

Good Success!

You find a place selling a rather cheap high-end computer, apparently the last owner of it died or something, and you buy it off of him for the last of your money...

This leaves you broke, homeless, and with two shopping carts with your wife, but at least you have things.

Actions.

>You have NO MONEY. Head back to the library and head back home...
>Eh, you'll find a place to stay for a while.
>...So? You'll get started right here, right now! Begin reading!
>Write-in
>>
>>751181
>You have NO MONEY. Head back to the library and head home.
>>
You realize you seriously lack money, and so you begin the trek homewards with your wife...

PoV switch anons?

>Continue as Renexizious!
>Renexizia and her attempt to go to Paris!
>Viktorious
>Charlemagne!
>>
>>751218
>Continue as Renexizious
I really want to see their reactions when their child is missing.
>>
After a little while, you cross through the portal... And realize you can in fact, shapeshift again!

Which you do so immediately, and start flying homeward with Elizaabeth... Of course, the trip is rather long, and eventually you set down by the Ducal Palace around midnight, utterly exhausted... And you haul the books inside, along with the computer.

"Fuck... I'm tired."

Your wife gives you a nice kiss on the cheek.

"Well, it was fun being bigger then you while it lasted... Now if you need me, I'm passing out."

"Same."

You note that Fenrir and Flames aren't really responding, but your too tired to really care yet.

What bed to sleep in, anons?

>...Try to will yourself to stay awake! You must read those books!
>...Take me with you! Bed's are comfortable.
>...Up for a tumble? Please?
>...You haven't spent much time at all around Frankizka. Do so.
>...Constaniza probably is alone. She could use company...
>...See if your brother minds if you sleep in his bed.
>...Chrysoula? Flames would like it.
>Write-In
>>
>>751263
>Take me with you! Bed's are comfortable.
>>
"Come on, take me with you!"

"Sure..."

The two of you quickly pass out in bed, resting next to each other, cuddling. After a bit you wake up, and try to get out of bed... With your wife holding onto you. So of course, you carefully slip out, and grab breakfast... You do note that the usually shy and nervous Constaniza isn't there, after talking a little bit with Richard, so you set about a day of lazing about, relaxing. It isn't until later that you decide to DO something...

Actions.

>You should talk to your brother.
>...Eh, your brother can handle this place. Tell him that you and your wives are leaving soon.
>...More time with Elizabeth!
>...Your kind of curious where Constaniza's gone. Try to find her!
>You should travel out to your refinery...
>You haven't spent any time with Frankizka at all! Talk to her!
>Chrysoula? You've talked to her a little bit, try it more!
>...You need SOMETHING to do. And you've run out of money. Time to loot a little bit...
>...Laze about. Nothing to do that interests you enough. (PoV Switch)
>Write-in
>>
>>751314
>Eh, your brother can handle this place. Tell him that you and your wives are leaving soon.
>Your kind of curious where Costanza's gone. Try to find her!
>>
You leave a note on a table, telling your brother that your leaving soon, and you decide to try and find Constaniza... Who you find in her room, looking lonely.

"Renexizious? Hi."

"Hi Constaniza. Everything alright?"

"I'm alright, I guess.... It's uh... I'm kind of wanting to go home."

Knowing full well this could be a conversation, you take a seat next to her.

"Why?"

"Well... I just... I miss home. I mean, being friends with y-"

"Correction, a couple."

"That's your idea... I never wanted that in the first place..."

"Come on, it's a great idea..."

"I'm only going along since we're friends... Ok?"

"I know, I know... So, you feel lonely at all?"

"The only person I know here is you, and that's it... I haven't seen you for a while, either. Everything alright?"

"Oh, yeah. Great."

"Anyways... I'm sort of missing Raghilda... Everyone else is so strange here, honestly..."

Actions

>Oh, don't worry.... We'll go back.
>...Wait, you don't even have an interest in me? Why? Seriously?
>Sorry, but your coming with me to my dimension.
>...Are we just friends forever? I mean, I wanted to be more then that.
>If you want, the two of us can go on an adventure or something... I guess...
>Huh. If you want, I can get you some friends.
>Oh. Nice to see your alright. See you!
>Write-In
>>
>>751360
>Huh. I have some people you might be able to be friends with in my dimension.
She can meet Claw.
And Claw probably won't do anything because he'll just get Insta-Friendzoned.
>>
"Huh. Well, I have some people you might be able to be friends with in my dimension..."

"I just uh, want to be in this one. Sorry."

"Why?"

"I mean, I already Raghilda here as my friend...."

Actions.

>...Come on, if you come I'll pay more attention to you, ok?
>I can bring you Raghilda then!
>Kiss her?
>I'll miss you... But I guess you can stay...
>How are you and Raghilda friends? I'm curious.
>Slowly caress her?
>Write-in
>>
>>751404
>I'll miss you.. But I guess you can stay
>How are you and raghilda friends? I'm curious.
>>
"I'll miss you... But I guess you can stay here."

"Really? Well, thanks. Sorry I'm not going with you to.. . Well, wherever your going."

"It's fine... It's fine. Just curious, how are yo and Raghilda friends?"

"She helped me and my family out of a rough spot or two when I as young, you know... I'll tell you more when you come back, ok?"

"Is this my cue to leave?"

"I mean, you can stay if you want... I just thought you were a bit busy.

Actions.

>You can visit me any time you want, you know.
>...Can I have a hug? I'll miss you.
>Come on, someday you'll love being with me.
>Tell Raghilda I love both of you equally...
>Please? Can you please come with me?
>Frown slightly at her leaving you...
>Write-In

Sorry anon, but I'm taking a nap here.
>>
>>751445
>Can I have a hug? I'll miss you.
Ok OP later.
>>
One last update before my nap.

"Can I have a hug? I'll miss you..."

"Well... I guess..."

You give her a hug, and she squirms a little, uncomfortably.

"Your hugging a little hard. Can you let go, please?"

"Just a minute longer, ok?"

"I guess..."

Actions.

>Your dad taught you to never leave a woman untumbled! Go in for the tumble?
>...Time to play the sympathy card and beg her to stay with you... Tears may be a little necessary. (You know she's rather vulnerable to this.)
>Try to kiss her?
>Hug her and let go... Then leave.
>...I'll visit you soon, ok? I just have to make sure my Empire is alright.
>Write-In
>>
>>751472
>I'll see you again soon. Bye costaniza.
>>
Back anons.

"I'll see you again soon, Constaniza."

You say, as you begin to get up off the bed, and leave her. You walk out of the room, kind of saddeneed.

Actions

>You CAN'T let her go. Try to make this an extremely welcoming enviroment...
>You should take her down... And maybe ask Raghilda if she wants to come with you?
>Visit one of your other wives?
>Time to leave this dimension for now...
>You should visit that refinery, maybe they have some oil you can drink so you can burn down the swamp...
>Write-In
>>
Bumping.
>>
>>751734
>You should visit that refinery. Maybe they have oil that you can drink to burn down the swamp.
We should at least tie that up before leaving.
>>
You decide to visit your refinery, and you begin to fly off towards it.

After a little while of flying, you set down... And you see the castle of your jeste- You mean, the local lord being besieged. And losing quite handedly... If you chose to, you could interrupt this battle, or just continue on... Or take a more roguish option and attack the untouched town...

Actions.

>Land INSIDE the castle. You'll give your jester a chance to come with you after all.
>Land in the middle of the battlefield to interrupt the siege battle!
>...Siege? Wealthy town? Loot! Land in the town and begin pillaging!
>Grit your teeth and continue to the refinery...
>>
>>751809
>Land in the middle of the battlefield to interrupt the siege battle!
>>
You decide to land in the middle of the siege battle inbetween the Bretonnians and the Imperials... Who you notice, are rather ill-equiped for battle... And you notice they are marines, rather then actual soldiers.

The Marines come to a stop, noticing you easily... And cheer.

"The dragon's come to help us!" one soldier cries.

"Huzzah!" They cry out, inspired by your presence.

Actions.

>Sigh, and tell them your here to actual STOP them from attacking.
>Nom the imperial soldier.
>Erh, right! Follow me into the breach!
>...Look disappointed, like a father who's children just destroyed their palace.
>I may help... Is there butter inside?
>Write-In
>>
>>751836
>Look disappointed, like a father who's children just destroyed their palace.
I see what you did there.
still worth it though
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 to show how disappointed you are. Additional +2 if you can do things which show how disappointed you are.
>>
Rolled 2 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>751846
Do the slow head shake with our eyes closed then Sigh
>>
2+8=10

Amazing Failure!

"I am deeply disappointed in all of you."

They look confused, so you shake your head and sigh.

"Erh, what?"

"Why are you attacking this castle?"

"Because it's the enemy? And we have orders to?" One of the guards says

Great. There goes the act of being disappointed and guilt tripping them or something.

Actions

>No talking back young man! What would your mother think?
>...So, why do you need this castle?
>Can you at least give me a minute to get my jester out from there, please?
>...Purify it in fire!
>Give them a lecture or something.
>Nom a soldier for talking back.
>If you all leave, I'll make sure they surrender peacefully, ok?
>Write-In
>>
>>751871
>So why do you need this castle?
>Can you at least give me a minute to get my jester out from there?
>>
"So, why do you need this castle?"

"It gives us a natural harbor into Southern Bretonnia, m'lord!"

"Ah... Well, give me a moment to get my jester out from this castle."

The assault is held back as you go up to the castle, and peer over the walls...

"I'd like to see the local lord, please." you say to the guards... After a little bit, you see the doors to the estate majestically open slowly... And hear a baa.

You look down, and see a sheep with a helmet half-hazardly put on it's head, along with a cape. A few men begin talking to themselves, muttering that the lord's a coward or something... The sheep of course waddles around for a little bit, as you watch, somewhat entertained by the sheep with a helm over it's head and a cape.

Actions.

>...Enough of this tomfoolery. Ask where the lord is.
>...Ooh, a snack! Eat it!
>...Growl angrily. You want to see your jester.
>Laugh at the silly display infront of you. A sheep with a helmet over it's head?
>...Ask a few of the guards for butter. You love coming here already.
>How sweet, another pet! Grab the sheep and put him on your back.
>Write-In
>>
>>751899
>Laugh
>So where's the local lord?
This guy is too funny to let go.
>>
You laugh entertained, disturbing some of the men.

"So, where's the local lord?"

You notice the... What the utter fuck. You notice the one peasant you got from the lord... You completely forget his name, but somehow he escaped slavery and came back to the castle... And seems to smell decent.

"He had a cunning plan with my help, m'lord."

"...Aren't you supposed to be with me?"

"I had a cunning plan too, my lord."

"What was it?"

"Walk out of the gates, pretending I am a peasant."

"Aren't you already one?"

"That's the cunningness of it, m'lord!"

"Truly... Cunning indeed. So where is he?"

"He told me not to tell you, as he said he'd be hiding like a "little boy would from a pack of wolves", m'lord."

"Where is that?"

"Have you tried the water closet?"

Actions.

>...Thank you for helping me, I guess. Try to find the water closet...
>Wait a minute... You escaped being enslaved! Your coming with me, peasant who's name I can't remember!
>...Wait a minute, a cunning plan that works... Your the lord, aren't you?
>Grab the peasant and put him on your back. He'll serve you well.
>...So uh, what's the goat then? I'm a little confused by this.
>Write-In
>>
>>751913
>Wait a minute, a cunning plan that works... your the Lord aren't you?
This guy is hilarious too.

This would make a good black and white comedy motion picture with no audio.
I forgot what those were.
>>
Silent films?

"Wait a minute, a cunning plan that works... Your the lord, aren't you?"

"Me? The lord?" He scoffs a little.

"I could tell so easily! The original... Well, peasant, was taken by me! AND I LOCKED THE GATES!"

"Erh... Well..."

"Well, want to come with me? You won't get killed when the Imperials get through the fortress."

"...Erh, well..."

Actions.

>Let him decide on his own.
>...Did I mention they'd kill you and your family in nasty ways?
>He doesn't have a choice in this, grab him!
>You'd be made an honorary slave... I mean, honorary servant...
>Please? We need good comedy.
>...Threaten him!
>Describe to him a plethora of ways that he could get killed by the Marines.
>Write-In
>>
>>751928
Yes those.
>Please? We need good comedy.
>Plus you won't get brutally murdered by Marines if you come with me.
>>
"Please? I need good comedy for me and my wives... And you won't get brutally murdered by marines if you come with me."

"Well, you never know... I could have a chance to beat them back..."

"Right... Until they breach and kill you all."

"Ah, right... Well..."

"Please?"

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if he's willing to become your jester... Additional +2 if you can give a job description on pay, hours, probabilities of him getting killed, etc...

Or you know, charm him or threaten him.
>>
Rolled 9 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>751951
>Hours
He'll be at or Beck and call for comedy from 9-5.
What he does in his free time we don't care.
>Pay
You won't exactly be rolling in money but you'll have a comfortable life. As you'll be living in my palace pay and housing can be arranged for.
>Probability of him getting killed
Lower than if he stays here.
>>
9+7=16

"Well, you'll be at my beck and call for comedic relief from nine in the morning to five in the afternoon, and I don't really care what you do in your freetime... You won't be rolling in money, but you'll be pretty comfy, and chances are you won't get killed."

He looks... Well, tempted.

"...By the Lady, I can't believe I'm doing this... Well, I was going to die one way or the other..."

"One way or the other?"

"In-laws were coming over soon. And my wife was angry at me for getting my horse some jewelry."

"...Your horse has jewelry?"

"It's a recent fad. Now, come on, get me out of here before my wife or in-laws get here! And take my horse!"

After an hour, you struggle to carry the jewel-ridden horse in your feet as you fly off towards your refinery with your new jester... Begruding jester, no less. So of course, you set down at the refinery.

Flame?

...Huh? What?

Oh hey! Your back!

Yeah... Uh, what happened?

I'll tell you later... Can you drink some oil for me though?

...How much? He says, somewhat execited.

...Oh, about three silos worth.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Just don't crumple them like a beer can, ok?

Fine...

Flames begins chugging oil down... And after plenty of drinking of the black fluid, you rest on the ground with a notiable bulge in your stomach... Oil apparently is a good way to add weight...

That was great... Got any more?

Sorry, but no.

Aww... Well... I'm going back to sleep. Thanks for the tasty oil.

You nod your head, and begin flying back to the swamp with a slight stomach... When you get overhead, you wake Flames up against to lay down the fire...

Roll me a 1d20+12 for how devastating this will be.
>>
Rolled 17 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>751976
Rolling for high grade arson.
>>
17+12=29

Great Success!

Flame's fire is more or less like a giant burp, complete with lava, fire, and lots of smoke. The swamp quickly catches on fire, and some pools of lava form... Which could be a problem later, but not now. After waiting a few hours, the fire dies down, and most of the swamp has been utterly incinerated... So you begin draining the swamp, and after a little bit all that's left are ashlands and a few small lava pools...
'
Well, that was interesting.

At least it's done... So uh, what's the plan now?

I was thinking about returning home.

Really? Why?

Eh... I feel like something's happened.

We were going to hang out at bloodbowl with the guys, and the daemon princess, possibly seduce a dragoness... And spend more time with Chrysoula. At least, I would.

Oh.

And probably summon that Daemon Princess.

Well... Maybe we should just send our wives back then.

I sort of want Chrysoula to be with us... She's so adorable...

Right, forgot about the fact I woke up a furry.

Oh shut up.

Actions

>...You do know you treat her like a teddy bear while you sleep? It's a little disgusting, altough adorable.
>Where's Fenrir?
>Damn, forgot about all that stuff... We'll leave soon though, ok?
>...I think you forgot, but I can't seduce anyone without Slaanesh giving me breasts.
>...Well, that egg could of hatched... What if it's doing property damage or something?
>Write-In
>>
>>752004
>Yeah but isn't our dragon child supposed to hatch soon? I'm not sure it'd be a good idea to let them hatch without someone there that can handle them.
>>
Well, yeah... But isn't our wife's egg supposed to hatch soon? I'm not sure it's a good idea to let them hatch without someone there who can handle it.

Come on, all our kids were well-behaved. What's the worst that could be happening, it trying to eat the Louvre or something?

Yes?

If you want, send a wife or something. I mean, just saying but I'm kind of having the time of my life.

Really?

Besides not being stuck in a head most of the time and being able to generally fuck about and think of attractive women without having to do work? I'd say that's pretty fun.

Actions

>Fine... We'll take a BRIEF detour back home and come right back, ok?
>...We're going home to make sure the egg doesn't try shit.
>...Fucking frenchies and their art...
>Fine, we'll send back a wife...
>...Why don't we send Chrsyoula since you came up with the idea?
>Your probably right. What's the worst that a solo dragon child can do?
>Write-In
>>
>>752020
>I'd ask what a solo dragon could do. But you already know the answer.
>We'll take a BRIEF detour back home and come right back okay?

If Flames complains mention the fact that if the egg hatches literally nothing is stopping them from wandering off except a stranger asking nicely.
>>
I'd ask you what a solo dragon could do, but you already know the answer... Besides, we'll take a brief detour back home and come right back, ok?

I guess...

Want to do it now?

Well... Alright...

You begin to fly off back towards the portal... Which will take a day or two...

PoV Shift?

>Renexizia and the case of Trying to Get to Paris!
>Viktorious!
>Charlemagne!
>>
>>752045
>Renexizia and the case of trying to get to Paris!
We have priceless art to eat!
>>
You are now Renexizia, the priceless devourer of art, destroyer of buildings, and general child who has good intentions but said intentions quickly evolve into property damage.

And your goal is to get to Paris, or else, with your trusty minio- You mean, best friend, Haroldr.

"So uh... That's a long swim." You say while looking out into the English Channel.

"Well, why don't we take a boat?"

"Well... They said they didn't want a dragon on board."

"Why am I giving you ideas?" He says.

"...Well, actually maybe we could sneak in on a crate! Super sneaky! We'd be like..."

"Ninjas?"

"Yeah! What's a ninja?"

"It's a uh... It's japaneese or something."

"Well, that sounds cool! I'ma be japaneese ninja dragon!" You let out an adorable roar. Which is a squeak.

"...Good luck?"

"Yeah! So... Let's think, how to cross the channel..."

Actions.

>...Let's swim! Even though I don't know how!
>...Let's be ninjas and sneak on a boat! Yay!
>We'll threaten the mean captains to let us on...
>Do you think we can get on an airplane? They sound like fun!
>...There's only one way to get across! We've got to damage or destroy some boats until the captains realize we're too cool for them and MAKE US into the captains! This logic is perfectly sound!
>We'll make a GIANT catapult! Whatever those are!
>...Could I throw you across? Just curious.
>Write-In
>>
>>752065
>Let's be ninjas and sneak on the boat! Yay!
Sneeki Breeki.
>>
"Let's be ninjas and sneak onto a boat! Yay!" You yell, excited. Haroldr just regrets saying anything.

So of course, you decide to sneak on.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if they notice or not.
>>
Rolled 12 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>752070
Dragons are masters of stealth.
>>
12+5=17

Borderline Failure!

You sneak into a cargo container with Haroldr, and squeeze in. You of course, eat the containers inside of it to make space (which was rather tasty), and you get loaded up into the boat... Which begins to sail. You think. Of course, you hear a rather loud sound, and decide to pass the time by sharpening your claws against the metal container... Which turns out to be very loud...

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you are indeed detected.
>>
Rolled 5 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>752083
>Inb4 1
>>
5+4=9

Amazing Failure!

You hear muttering outside, and the cargo container's door opens to three crewmen... Who look at you, quite confused.

Actions.

>Let out a roar!
>Try to be adorable!
>...Erh, threaten you'll eat them or something?
>Try to eat them? Humans are edible apparently...
>Ask them if they'd like to be your best friends forever! You can never have too many friends!
>Ask them if they'd like to become your best friends forever, and also slaves! You sorta feel like your old enough to get into a job!
>...Guilt trip them into not revealing your position! Watery eyes, go!
>Hi! I'm Renexizia!
>Go Haroldr! Throw him at them!
>Declare they can not see you, since you are a sneaky ninja.
>Write-In
>>
>>752098
>Hi I'm Renexizia!
>Declare that they cannot see you, since you are a sneaky ninja.
>>
"Hi! I'm Renexizia! I'm the sneakiest dragon ninja of all! I am so good, you cannot even see me!"

You of course, cover your eyes at the bewildered crewmen. If you can't see them, they can't see you, right?

Roll me a 1d20+5 to blend with the shadows, or just basically convince the crew to not deal with the dragon in a metal container.
>>
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>752104
We are the shadows.
>>
8+5=13

Failure!

"Uh... Sorry, but you need to get out of there, ma'am."

"How can you see me?" You open your eyes, and one of the crewmen cautiously steps in, wearing an eyepatch over one of his eyes.

"Erh, sorry... But uh, we can't have stowaways."

"What are you, pirates? Oh my! Are you going to throw me overboard or something?"

"What? No? We're only a few minutes from port, we'll jus-"

Actions

>I love pirates! Argh!
>...Hey uh, Haroldr? What's a pirate again? I just saw that off a billboard.
>Pirates are evil, and your good since you are a ninja! You must defeat the pirates with your cunning!
>Come on, pleeeeeeeaaasseeee? I don't wanna go back to London...
>Appease the pirate with your adorableness! You won't get thrown overboard then!
>...Your mind is all over the place! They're clearly NOT pirates!
>Grab the pirate! You always wanted a pirate for a best friend!
>Can I be a pirate? I like money!
>Come on, I can pay you in... Gratitude?
>Write-In
>>
>>752127
>But I don't wanna! How am I supposed to find dad? He's... What's he called haroldr?
I don't think we know his name.
>>
"But I don't wanna! How am I supposed to find dad? He's... Uh, what's his name Haroldr?"

"Renexizious?"

The crewmen look at each other.

"Erh... I'm trying to follow the naval law as best as I can... Can you please step out of the box?"

"No! You may take my freedom, but you'll never take away my box!"

"Erh... Well..."

He backs out of the box and starts discussing with the men.

"We'll give you a gift?"

Your head perks up at the thought of food. Or a reward.

Roll me a 1d20+6 to avoid being tempted. Possible autosuccess if you can reasons on why not to leave the box to get food or a gift!
>>
Rolled 17 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>752148
>We're a ninja dragon! Ninja dragons don't get snacks from the people they hide from! They hide.
Now cover our eyes again.
Maybe our dragon ninja arts will work this time.
>>
This is fucking pure adorableness in my opinion.
Wish I did this sooner desu.

You reason to yourself that ninja would NEVER dishonor themselves by getting a snack... Although it does sound tasty... So you cover your eyes again to blend with the shadows!

"Erh, we can see you, you know."

"Sh!"

"Erh... Should we tell the captain?"

"Well, yeah."

After a little while you hear stomping coming down towards you, and someone peeks in.

"Oi! What the fuck' are ye' doin' in me ship?"

You can't understand his accent at all.

"What?"

"Get off me' ship boyo before I turn it around!"

Actions

>I'm not a boy! I'M A GIRL!
>Please don't! I just want to find my parents!
>Try to charm the captain with adorableness!
>How can everyone see me?!
>That's it, you asked for my special ninja dragon martial arts! Attack!
>...Can I still have a snack? I'm kinda hungry...
>Pout... And begin to look sad.
>Haroldr... Why does he talk funny?
>My parents will beat you up if if you turn around!
>Erh... Freeze him? You feel like you can do that?
>Write-In
>>
>>752148
>What kind of good dragon can be enticed with a simple gift?
I am surprised no one has said this, but my condolences about your friend
>>
>>752166
>I'm not a boy! I'M A GIRL!
>Please don't! I just want to find my parents!
>Try to charm the captain with adorableness!
>>
>>752167
When it comes to shit like this I'm a bigger spaghettimancer then Claw.
>>752166
>LALALALALALA YOU CAN'T SEE ME. I'M A NINJA.
>>
>>752167
It's fine anon.

"I'm not a BOY! I'm a girl! Boys are icky! But can you please not turn the ship around... I-I just want to find my parents..."
And so begins you trying to be adorable.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to bring a smile to the captain. Additional +2 if you can do something adorable. Failure means you just start yelling about how he can't see you.
>>
Rolled 13 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>752178
Curl up into a ball and PUPPY EYES!
>>
Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>752178
Puppy dog eyes with the single tear.
Also throw in a devastated look for maximum guilt.
>>
13+7=20

Success!

"C-come on... Pleeeease..."

You begin to curl up into a ball, look at him with a single tear cocming from your watery reptilian eyes. His bitterness begins to crumble as he looks t you, and he struggles not to break into a smile or at least help you...

"I-I erh...."

You've almost got him anons! Finish him off!
Roll me another 1d20+5, additional +2 if you can tell him why you want to see your parents... And be adorable.
>>
Rolled 17 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>752196
>I hatched and my parents weren't there. I just want to see them. Please?(with a lisp of course)
And sniffle a bit.
>>
Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>752196
>Iv'e never met them before and Paris is where they were last!
Lisp obligitory
>>
19+7=28

Great Success!

The Dice Gods are appeased by being adorable. Huh.


"I-I hatched... But m-my parents weren't there..." You say as you sniffle a little bit...

"I-I'm sorry?"

"I-I just want to see them... I-I've never met them before... And Pa-pa-paris waas where they were last... Please?"

You say, staring up at him.

He seems utterly shattered.

"I-I see... I'll... I'll just let you on then and roam around I guess... Better then being in there... I hope you find your parents then, lass." He opens the container doors wide open.

Actions

>Yay! Thank you, thank you thank you thank you... Hug him while saying this.
>Rush past him!
>B-but why? Did you know your parents?
>...Can I have snack from earlier, please?
>You are ninja! You don't leave box save for food... Or to find parents!
>Cheer happily!
>...Can I leave this box? It's kinda stuffy...
>I uh... Ate something earlier in here. What was it?
>Write-In
>>
>>752211
>You are ninja! You don't leave box save for food... Or to find parents!
>>
>>752211
>Yay! Thank you, thank you thank you thank you... Hug him while saying this.
>Can I have the snack from earlier, please?

Renexizia is going to be cute as hell with high charisma. Thats her niche I guess.
>>
"W-well... Thank you..."

You grab him and give him a hug. And keep saying thank you over and over again, and then you let go.

"...Can I still have the snack from earlier?"

"I mean.. I guess..."

"Yay! But uh, I'm not leaving the box, since I'm a sneaky ninja, ok?"

"A-aye... J-just find yer' parents, ok?"

"Will do!"

The captain wipes his eyes with his shirt and walks off.

"...How the hell did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You know... Well, that?"

Actions

>Being awesome? It's in the family, I guess.
>Because girls are better then men? Duh.
>Well, I think he's just a nice guy in his heart! I mean, anyone who gives me food is a nice guy in general!
>Everyone can relate to wanting to find parents!
>Oh, I can cry at will. It's great and effective at this being adorable stuff!
>I don't know why dad has slaves. You can just be nice and cute and people will help you of their own will!
>Write-In
>>
>>752226
>Well, I think he's just a nice guy in his heart! I mean, anyone who gives me food is a nice guy in general!
>>
>>752227
Supporting reckless childlike naivete.
>>
"Well, I think he's just a nice guy in his heart! I mean, anyone who gives me food is a nice guy in general!"

After a little bit, the captain gives you a nice big bowl of soup, which you eat rather fast... After a little bit, the boat stops in Paris, and you hide in the container, which gets offloaded... Now, it's time to sneak out of the container, into Paris...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to sneak past customs.
>>
Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>752231
Rolling to immigrate illegally.
>>
Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>752231
DAMAGE CONTROL!!!
>>
Critical Failure!

You begin to get out of the container in front of what seems to be several customs officers, a small military truck, and surrounding the place seems to be a large wall...
Of course, noticing the dragon getting out of a cargo container, the customs officers look at you as you begin to crawl out and walk down calmly.

"Come on Haroldr, my parents could be anywhere!"

"Erh, there's customs officers behind you."

"Really?"
You turn around, and yell "Hi!" And wave.
They seem very confused as they watch with interest.

"Come on! We've got no time to lose!"

You grab Haroldr, and rush to the exit. Only for the gate to be lowered.

"Come on! Open the gate!" You yell, as a customs truck comes up behind you, and a few officers get out.

"Erh, what were you doing in the english cargo container?" One of them says in crude English.

So of course, you turn around...

Actions

>Stay back! I have a deadly disease!
>I'm trying to find my family! Want to help?
>Can you open the door please?
>I'm a ninja! You can't see me!!!
>Roar and try to scare the guards off!
>Come on, this happens all the time!
>You seem like nice people! Are you taking me somewhere?
>Are you police officers? I was hoping you could help me find my parents!
>Write-In
>>
>>752238
>I'm searching for my parents but I have to go now! Remember. You can't see me because I'm a ninja!
>>
"I'm searching for my parents! But I have to go now! Remember, you can't see me because I'm a ninja!" You announce loudly, as you try to pry open the door outside.

"Erh, sorry, but you need to come with us..."

Actions.

>Stop being mean and help me, please!
>Can you help me find my parents if I do come with you?
>Fine... I'll go...
>...Question, where's the Louvre? I heard a lot about it.
>Ignore them and try to pry open the door!
>Come on, I'll leave as soon as I find them, ok?
>Try to be adorable once again.
>Write-In
>>
>>752248
>Stop being mean and help me, please!
>Can you help me find my parents if I do come with you?
>>
>>752248
>Question, where's the Louvre? I've heard a lot about of it.
>Try to be adorable once again.
>>
"Stop being mean and help me... But uh, can you help me find my parents if I do come with you?"

"Well, if your parents are in England, yes."

"They aren't! But uh, quick question... Where's the Louvre?"

"Erh, why?"

"I'm curious!"

And also hungry, you think to yourself.

"Sorry, but could y-"

You pry up the door, destroying it.

"Yay! If yo-"

A female french customs officer goes up to you.

"If you come with us, we'll get this all sorted out, ok? If you don't we'll drag you down to the station."

"Drag me?"

"Well, not literally... But we have a job to bring in illegals..."

Actions.

>I'm not illegal! I'm a dragon! Rawr!
>Come on, pleeeeaasseee? I just wanna see my family...
>I'm a ninja! Woosh! Run away!
>Ninjas don't run from battle! Try to fight them peacefully! (as in play around with them!)
>Aw... Fine, I guess I'll go...
>That's kinda mean...
>My dad's a dragon and he'll beat your country up unless you let me in!
>Haroldr, explain the situation to them!
>Adorableness, go!
>Write-In
>>
>>752262
>I'm not illegal! I'm a dragon! Rawr!
>I'm a ninja! Woosh! Run away!
Ninja try to avoid direct confrontation.
>>
>>752262
>My dad's a dragon and he'll beat your country up unless you let me in!
>Haroldr, explain the situation to them!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Run for it!
2=Try to explain!
>>
"Come on! My dad's a dragon and he'll beat up your country unless you let me in! Besides, Haroldr! Explain the situation to them!"

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if the French let you in or not.

Additional +2 if you can give a brief recollection of what you've gone through as Haroldr and the shit you've gone through with.
>>
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>752274
I was literally born yesterday!
>>
Rolled 10 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>752274
We've basically left in charge of the dragon child of Renexizious and queen Elizabeth.
She proceeded to destroy her palace.
And is now on a journey to find them apparently.
I've given up on stopping her.
>>
Critical Success!
"I've been left in charge of this kid, who's the daughter of Renexizious and Queen Elizabeth, who's palace was recently destroyed and apparently she's on a journey to find them. And I've completely given up hope on stopping her or returning to sanity. If you know what's good for you, please stop her." and then the two of you are cleared travel through France!

Like a ninja!

"So uh, where were my parents last seen?"

"I think they said something about the catacombs..."

"Oooh... What's a catacomb?"

"It's a crypt."

"...Yeah, cool."

You don't muster up enough courage to ask what a crypt is. But either way, you must admit the city of Paris is beautiful... And lively! You only occassionally step on a car or "conveninently" eat an artist's painting while they're painting.

Where to explore firstly?

>The Catacombs! They're creepy, dark, and you actually... Actually you probably can't fit in them. So only Haroldr can go down there. Alone.
>Head to this "Louvre" for lunch!
>You feel a little playful... Why not find an expensive place to play in?
>You heard about some place called "Versailies". Maybe you should try to sneak in? Maybe there's paintings you can eat and destroy?
>Go to the Eiffel Tower! It seems like fun!
>Write-In
>>
>>752288
>Go to the Eiffel Tower! It seems like fun!
How tall is Renexia's largest form?
>>
>>752288
>Go to the Eiffel Tower! It seems like fun!
Maybe we can eat one of the legs.
>>
Five stories. Your currently the size of a truck.

You head down to this "Eiffel Tower."

It's huge. And metal! You sorta want to climb up it, but that's kinda risky...

"So uh, why are we here?"

Actions.

>There's a lot of empty land for me to play around so I don't destroy anything!
>Run off and play at the Eiffel Tower!
>I was just kinda curious on what it looked like...
>...Is it just me, or is it kind of curved?
>I wouldn't break it! That could hurt tons of people!
>...Thanks for the great idea!
>...I mean, I'm kind of hungry. Do you think anyone would mind if I gnaw a little on a leg?
>Write-In
>>
>>752300
>I mean, I'm kind of hungry. Do you think anyone would mind if I gnaw a little on a leg.
I think in a Pantheon of Gods Renexizia would earn the title
Goddess of Calamity.
She's only been alive for around a day.
>>
"Well, I'm kinda hungry... Do you think anyone will mind if I gnaw a little on a leg of the tower?"

"What? No! You'll destroy the tower?"

"I'm starving though..."

"You ate the entire kitchen at the palace! You should be stuffed!"

"I'm still kinda hungry..."

"Why do you eat so much?"

"I dunno. But do you think anyone will mind?"

"Rena, it's one thing to damage your mother's palace... But this is priceless architecture! People will die from getting crushed by it!"

Actions.

>...Fine... Hey, what do you think is at the top? Could I climb up it?
>Why don't you try to help me eat it then?
>...Is there any warehouses of food then? I mean, I could eat tons of it...
>*Stomach Growl* and ignore what he's saying.
>...Aw... Fine... I guess I won't...
>..>Come on, people will be fine.
>That's a good point... I don't want to hurt anyone...
>I bet I can eat it all when it collapses down...
>...Now your making me curious on what people taste like, thanks...
>Write-In

For those curious why Renexizia is hungry a lot, she's the child of a dragon who's always hungry (Ren) and a dragon who tends to eat A LOT. (Elizabeth.)
>>
>>752312
>*Stomach Growl*
>Salivate a bit
>Chomp on the Eiffel Tower leg.
>>
>>752312
>That's a good point... I don't want to hurt anyone...
>Gnaw a little bit
>>
Your stomach lets out a loud growl, and you can't help but salivate and go up to a leg of the tower... And bite into it. You crush a metal beam and swallow, and hear a slight sizzling. Huh. It seems your saliva can melt stuff if you want it to! Cool!

Haroldr however, seems like he's panicking.

"Stop! Don't do that!"

Your stomach growls again as you consider to take another bite out of the delicious metal...

"Don't! You'll hurt someone or something!"

Actions.

>...Ignore him and just continue trying to eat the tower's leg.
>No one will notice, relax...
>...Find me some food then, please... I'm starving!
>Come on... Plleeeeaaase?
>Huh? Aw man, I must be starving... I didn't mean to take THAT much out...
>...Uh, try to spit out the bar! Maybe you can put it back somehow?
>You aren't my dad or mom, Haroldr!
>...What else am I supposed to eat? I'm starving!
>...You need more NOM power. Shift to become larger!
>Write-In
>>
>>752319
I'll switch to this.
If only to spare Rens wallet.
>>
>>752323
>...Find me some food then, please... I'm starving!
Night OP I need sleep.
>>
>>752323
>...Uh, try to spit out the bar! Maybe you can put it back somehow?
>>
"I mean erh..." You spit out the bar... Delicious bar of metal...

"Can you find me some food please? I'm going to try and put this back..."

He rushes off to find you some food, while you try to put the acid-coated beam back into place... Until you feel your stomach growl again.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to resist the call of eating valuable architecture. Additional +3 if you can give yourself reasons not to.
>>
Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>752329
That attracts a lot of attention but ninjas are stealthy
>>
3+8=11

Failure!

You can't help but... Delicious.

You take a huge bite out of the metal and begin chewing down, while some people watch, highly concerned about you chewing through metal. And swallowing it.
After a few more beams, you shake yourself out of it...

Roll me a 1d20+2 to see how much damage is done to the Eiffel Tower by eating a few beams...
>>
Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>752329
Shot I need to sleep but I'd rather we don't cause mass loss of life.
Rolling.
>>
Rolled 7 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>752332
This is gonna be the roll we get high amounts of damage on.
>>
7+2=9

The tower creeks cautiously... You back away, slightly concerned it'll tip over. And you flee to find Haroldr, who's looking around for food...

Actions.

>...You know, maybe you should detour to the Louvre... Sounds tast- You mean, artsy. Yeah.
>Ask where Versailies is.
>...A restaurant is kinda baby tier... Find a warehouse! Your a growing dragon after all!
>A restaurant is ok, you guess...
>Write-In
>>
>752338
>...A restaurant is kinda baby tier... Find a warehouse! Your a growing dragon after all!
We'll give him a heart attack soon
>>
You decide to find a warehouse of food, and you pick up Haroldr... After a little while, you smell... Fish. In what seems to be a warehouse.

So of course, you pry open the door to the warehouse, and see ungarded crates of fish...

Roll me a 1d20+6 for how "nomed" the warehouse is after your done.
>>
Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>752345
Sorry but I need to hit the sack
>>
Gonna pass out now as well anons.

You burp loudly, as you have left the warehouse completely empty, and you feel yourself full of delicious fish... Hm...
You decide to take a short nap... And pass out.

Roll me a 1d4 for growth while you sleep.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>752358
>>
2

When you wake up, you feel a little stronger... Bigger, and tougher! You notice that you've grown by two stories, and your head scrapes against the roof to the warehouse.
Oh, and your stomach growls again.

However, no one seems to notice, as Haroldr is sitting on a chair, sleeping...

Actions

>...Hhmhm... Eiffel Tower... Sneak out of the warehouse to nom a little bit more of the Eiffel Tower!
>Sneak next door to another factory!
>You can hold on, ok?
>You remember someone saying the Louvre isn't too far from here. Try to find it.
>Versailes seems cool. Try to find it also!
>Wake up Haroldr!
>Poke him until he wakes up!
>...Try to juggle him with your nose? Why not?
>Just rest your head by him and fall asleep.
>Write-In
>>
>>752526
>You remember someone saying the Louvre isn't too far from here. Try to find it.
>>
You sneak out of the warehouse, and attempt to find the Louvre. Lots of peopke give you dirty looks as you ask for directions, when you hear that the sister of the King of France is taking a private tour through Versailles, and will be holding a public adress afterwards... If course due to safety reasons the place has been closed to the public.

Actions

>Oh man, nobles are cool! Go when the public adress begins!
>You are a sneaky ninja! You'll sneak in during the tour!
>You should ask around what the sister of the King is like!
>Nah, nevermind then...
>Write In
>>
>>752619
>You are a sneaky ninja! You'll sneak in during the tour!
OP I'll by out for some of the day see you later mang.
>>
Sane famalam.

You decide to sneak in during the tour... Which of course will be rather hard.

Roll me a 1d20+3 for dragon ninjaing around.
>>
Bumping a little bit for later.
>>
Bumping
>>
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>752632
For the past day or two, I was looking at the old thread you left. I missed out on all this fun stuff.
>>
Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>752632
Samefagging because anons aren't here yet.
>>
14+3=17

Success!

You channel your inner ninja, as you see an open window in the Louvre, which you try to climb through. You break through the wall rather then subtly climb through, and you shake off the dust on you... You see tons of art... Painting, vases... You name it.

Actions.

>...You know, you should leave and find some paint! Your probably better then all these artists!
>...Art tastes good. Besides, who's going to miss some paintings? And vases?
>Your dirty... Roll on the floor to get rid of the dust... Which may knock stuff around.
>Try to sneakily walk through the second story and explore!
>You wanna see the princess! Find her!
>Find the stairs going up and down!
>Carve in the wall "Renexizia Was Here".
>It's kind of warm up here. Try cooling it down with your frost breath!
>Write-In
>Write-In
>>
>>752986
>You wanna see the princess! Find her!
>>
You decide to find the princess... So you try to be stealthy and continue to channel the power of being a ninja dragon!

Roll me a 1d20+5 to blend in the shadows
(Actually, your just trying to spread your weight around so you don't fall through the floor.)
>>
Rolled 17 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>753002
>>
17+5=22

Good Success!

The floorboards creek under your weight, and you narrowly avoid breaking anything... You come to a set of stairs, which you carefully maneuver down, when you hear talking from below... Feeling inquisitive, you follow the noise and poke your head around a corner to see a woman flanked by a few guards, touring the Louvre, and talking in French...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if you can learn French!
>>
Rolled 17 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>753027
>>
17+6=23

Good Success!

You translate French! It's kinda similar to English, actually!

"So, this is the Louvre?"

"Yes, m'lady." A man in a rather fancy suit says. Armed with somesort of rifle, as well.

"Interesting... I've actually never been here. Anyways, could you remind me of the speech?"

"Ah, yes... The part about you setting up a new exhibit showcasing traditionalist art?"

"Yes, that one."

He begins reciting a speech to him, which you find dreadfully boring, and you follow behind them.

"Well, thank you for coming with me."

"That's not a problem, my lady."

"So formal for a musketeer..."

"As the musketeers ought to be, my lady."

"I don't know why he loves you musketeers so much... No offense."

"Is it the smell?"

"It's the chavalier attitude. Which I must say, works well with your uniform... But also because you smell like a croissant."

"I am charmed, my lady."

"Well, that's nice I suppose... Now, if only my brother could stop thinking of Renexizious as father, and stop eating those damned croissants."

You follow behind them as she looks at paintings...

Actions.

>Loudly shout out hello!
>Continue stalking them.
>BORING. Go find something to play with!
>The two of you should kiss already! It'd be cute!
>Ask them what a "croissant" is.
>You have a brother? Cool! Ask them where he is!
>Put your head inbetween them and say hi!
>Write-In
>>
Gonna give a small bumpity bump.
>>
>>753162
>Put your head inbetween them and say hi!
>The two of you should kiss already! It'd be cute!
>>
You put your head between them.

"Hi!"

They look... Startled, to say the least.

"You two should kiss! It'd be cute!"

You push them together, and they look at you, somewhat annoyed.

"How the hell did you get in here!" The musketeer says.

"Magic!"

After a few seconds of silence, you rub the back of your head.

"I uh... Squeezed through a window, actually. And broke a wall."

"What are you even doing here?"

Actions

>Grab the two of them and make them kiss! They're gonna get along so well!
>Hug the two of them! Your gonna be best friends forever and ever!
>Do you two know where my parents are?
>I uh, came in to eat some art. It tastes good!
>Stop being mean! I didn't do anything wrong, and I'm saying hi!
>I'm Renexizia! What's your names?
>...What's a musketeer?
>Oooh, are you a princess? Cool! I'm a dragon! Rawr!
>Write-In
>>
>>753351
>Stop being mean! I didn't do anything wrong, and I'm saying hi!
>I'm Renexizia! What's your names?
>>
"Stop being mean, I didn't do anything wrong and I'm saying hi!" You pout as you say this.

"You broke into the Louvre!"

"So? But it's nice to meet you! I'm Renexizia! What's your names?"

"He's Pierre, and I am Rosaline Bonaparte, princess of France."

"Cool! So uh..."

Rosaline seems somewhat entertained, while Pierre seems a little agitated.

Actions

>Cool! Grab them and hug, and then say we're gonna be best friends forever!
>So uh... I don't know why, but I had the sudden urge to kidnap you once you said princess... So can I?
>Was I in the middle of something?
>Can I hang out with the two of you?
>Have you seen my parents anywhere?
>The two of you should kiss! Seriously, it'd be so adorable...
>Is it alright if I eat a little bit of the art here? I'm kinda hungry.
>Wait, if your a princess, I'm supposed to kidnap you. I think... That's what dragons do, right?
>Can you help me get out of here? Please?
>Let's gossip! Anything juicy?
>Write-In
>>
Tactical Bump!
>>
>>753636
>Cool! Grab them and hug, and then say we're gonna be best friends forever!
>>
Sorry about the wait anons, was using the restromo.

You grab them and give them a big, huge hug.

"We're gonna be best friends forever!"

"What?"

You squeeze them harder, and Pierre begins to try and break your grip.

"Let go... Damn it..."

It seems he doesn't want to be your friend... Rosaline also struggles a little.

Actions.

>...Y-you... You don't want to be my friend? Become sad.
>Glare at Pierre. He WILL be your friend.
>Rub them up against your face and cheerfully smile. You love new friends!
>Come on, we're gonna do awesome things! Like find my parents, eat fish, and run around covered in butter, and do property damage... It'll be so much fun!
>You don't want Pierre. Throw him away.
>Stop hugging them. If they don't want to be your friend, fine.
>Write-In
>>
Anons?
>>
Final bump anons.
>>
>>753699
>...Y-you... You don't want to be my friend? Become sad.
Commence tactical pouting.
>>
"W-wait.... Y-you don't want to be my friend?"

You look at them with watery eyes, and begin whimpering and pouting...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if you can get them to break and become friends? Additional +2 if you can argue why you should be friends forever and ever.
>>
Rolled 7 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>753844
Well obviously we should be friends because we're all super cool!
We're a dragon ninja and he's a musketeer a noble as well!
Think of the adventures.
Think of the QUESTS!

Think of the adventures and QUESTS!
>>
Rolled 7 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>753844
>>
7+8=15

Borderline Success!

"C-come on! We should be friends because we're all super cool! Your a musketeer, and a noble! Think of the a-adventure! Think of the quests! Think of the adventure and quests!"

You look at him with watery eyes, but he seems only a little bit unnerved.

"I'm not becoming you-"

Rosaline pats you on the head as you begin crying... You feel better already!

"See? Look what you've done."

"I-I erh..."

"Come on, apologize. You shouldn't be that harsh. I think she's a child... Besides, it's not like she's going to try and destroy anything. What's the worst that could happen, Pierre?"

Pierre lets out a somewhat awkward sigh.

"She shouldn't even be here in the first place..."

Rosaline stares at him a little harshly...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if SHE breaks him.

Additional +2 if you can guilt trip him further.
>>
Rolled 19 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>753887
>I AM not a child! I'm a whole day old!
Then squeak

That sounds like something a child would say.
>>
19+5=24

Great Success!

"I-I'm not a child! I-I'm a whole day old!" You squeak out.

Rosaline breaks him though, and he sighs.

"Well... Fine... I guess."

You look up at him, smiling... And you give both them the biggest hug you can!
After a little bit of hugging, you let go and drop them to floor. Your so excited to have more friends!

Actions.

>...So, what are we going to do first? Paint each other's claws? What do friends do?
>Come on! Let's play in the Louvre! What's the worst that could happen?
>Hug them both MORE. You will have no mercy in your hugging and gratitude!
>...Do any of you have food?
>Come on, let's leave!
>Why don't the two of you meet me somewhere? I uh... I left something upstairs. I'll be right back, OK?
>Your so happy, you could eat a portrait! Hmmh... Portraits...
>Come on, let's find my father!
>I'll show you I'm not a child! Shift to your seven story form INSIDE the Louvre.
>Write-In
>>
>>753913
>So what were you guys doing?
>Do you have any food?
>Fantasize a little about eating the Eiffel Tower.
It still looks tasty
>>
"So... What were you guys doing?"

"We were talking a tour until you interrupted it..." Pierre says.

"Oh. So uh... Do any of you have any food?"
Your mind briefly changes to you swallowing the Eiffel Tower whole as a huge dragon... But that'll come later...

"No? Why would we have food here?"

"Oh. Sorry... I'm starving..."

Your stomach growls loudly, and you salivate a little, and shake it off. This slightly unnerves Pierre and Rosalina, of course.

Actions.

>Come on, let's gong and find something to eat that looks important.
>What's wrong? I'd never eat my friends! (and if you want, include people as well)
>...What do you think the paintings here taste like? I'm asking for a friend.
>Can you get me some food?
>Take your mind quickly off food!
>...I uh, got to go. I'll see you all later!
>So uh... Why don't the two of you start the speech? I'm going to uh... Make sure no one steals from the exhibits...
>Write-In
>>
>>753929
>Can you get me some food. I'm really hungry.
>>
"Can you get me some food? I'm really hungry."

"Erh, I don't really know what you eat though."

"Anything?"

"Well, the thing is that we're kind of the in the middle of something... We can't really find you food, sorry." Rosalina says.

Actions.

>...Hungrily eye a portrait. Maybe they'll get the message?
>Aw... Well... I guess I'll find something myself.
>...Loudly question what people taste like. Maybe they might get the idea to feed you...
>Your a strong independent woman dragon, who don't need people to feed her! You'll find food yourself!
>I can do the speech for you! Just get me some food, ok?
>...Look at them, and say please...
>Write-in
>>
>>753963
>*Loud stomach Growl*
>Aw... Well... I guess I'll find something myself.
We need to find more warehouses with food.
>>
"Aw... Well, I guess I'll find something myself." Your stomach growls again. Wow, your starving!

"Good luck?" Rosalina says.

You hug them, and start thinking where to get food.

Actions.

>...Hmhmh... Eiffle Tower... No one will mind if you eat just a little bit of it...
>...Wait for the two of them to walk off, and start sneaking around, eating paintings... They taste good.
>Time to find another warehouse!
>...Louvre has your friends in there... Why not look for another art gallery to eat? Just a little bit of?
>You like having fun while you eat... Try to search for a hotel or something... Maybe they have a pool! And butter! And a SLIDE!
>Write-in
>>
>>753978
>...Hmhmh... Eiffle Tower... No one will mind if you eat just a little bit of it...
Oh god what am I doing? I know this is going to end badly but it just feels in character.

Maybe if we climb up and eat from the top parts it'll be fine?
>>
>>753985
You aren't really playing Renexizia until your eating valuable monuments and sowing chaos by playing around

You decide to leave the Louvre... And head to the Eiffel Tower... You can't help but salivate over all that metal... And metal to hang from... And to play with!
So of course, you decide to climb it!

Roll me a 1d20+3 for how far you make it up!
>>
Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>753991
>Inspirational music plays in the background.
>>
4+3=7

Great Failure!

Climbing half-way up... You slip. And it's a sort of long way down, you realize...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if you can recover!
>>
Rolled 11 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>753997
Obviously We'll catch ourselves by chomping on the Eiffel Tower.
>>
11+6=17

Borderline Success!

You break a few metal bits of the Eiffel Tower, but eventually grab onto a section of it, your back hurting. The Eiffle Tower creeks under your weight, weakened from some earlier nomming and you crushing a few beams...

Actions.

>This is a bad idea... Go down.
>Chomp just a little on the bar... Tasty...
>Nom the bar, no restraint!
>Try climbing up! You wanna see the top! And eat from the top!
>Write-in
>>
>>754011
>Try climbing up! You wanna see the top! And eat from the top!
I hear the top tastes the best.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5 to climb further!
>>
Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>754042
>Eye of the tiger plays in the background.
>>
19+5=24

Good Success!

You subtly climb to the top of the Eiffle Tower... Eagarly, you take a bite out of the rod coming out of the tower. Tasty!

So of course, you begin eating...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if you can control yourself.
>>
Rolled 7 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>754058
Commence Nomming.
>>
7+5=12

Minor Success!

You try to keep yourself from eating too much so the tower won't collapse, but you eat a fair bit of the top... A noticable bit, really... The tower however, begins to creek, being weakened heavily...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if the Eiffle Tower can withstand this.
>>
Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>754085
So dice god if I could get a high roll that'd be great.
>>
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>754085
Sacré bleu!
>>
16+5=21

Good Success!

After a little bit, the tower stabilizes from your weight... Your still kind of hungry, but... On the other hand, destroying this could end really badly...

Actions.

>...Nom! You love eating this tower!
>...You can find another tower... Try to climb off!
>Try to think about how many people would be hurt if this collapsed so you won't get tempted in the future!
>...You kinda want to see a tower fall.... It would be cool...
>Write-In
>>
>>754117
I'm going to give anons this twenty and next time you fail or crit fail, I'll let anons decide to use this nat 20.
>>
>>754120
>Try to think about how many people would be hurt if this collapsed so you won't get tempted in the future!
>Get down from there.
>>
You try to think about how many people would hurt if it collapsed... You shutter at the thought, and begin to climb down the creaking Eiffle Tower, until you reach the bottom. People look at you suspiciously, and you run off... You still feel a little hungry, but not as hungry as earlier...

Actions.

>You know your dad is in the catacombs... So time to find the catacombs!
>...Find a warehouse... They have tasty food in there.
>You should go back and get Haroldr! He's your bestest best friend in the world
>...Your kind of bored. Maybe you should play somewhere. Like a park!
>Head back to the Louvre!
>Why are you restricting yourself to your truck-size form? You should go all out in your seven-story form!
>Write-In
>>
>>754134
I'll support this.
Eating paintings is less likely to kill anyone anyways.
>>
>>754149
>You know your dad is in the catacombs... So time to find the catacombs!
Maybe we can tunnel in?
>>
You decide to try and find the catacombs... After a little while of exploring, you find a exposed part of it by the outskirts, and enter, cramming into it as much as possible...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to attempt to burrow through the catacombs!
>>
Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>754178
Some day people are going to lean against the Eiffel Tower and shit and it will get demolished.
>>
11+5=16

Minor Failure!

Your claws still aren't sharp enough to burrow, so your forced to uncomfortably try to fit into the catacombs... Hopefully you don't get stuck... Alone. Down here.

Roll me a 1d20+2 to avoid getting stuck in the catacombs thanks to your size!
>>
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>754200
Cute doesn't fail.
They only delay their victory
>>
Well anons... Want to use that nat 20 from earlier?
>>
>>754221
Yes.
Lets not cause a cave in.
And or get super stuck.
>>
Critical Success!

You move smoothly through the catacombs like a snake, and after a little while, you smell... Well, something fowl. You slither through carefully, and find a... Well, walking skeleton. Creepy! It seems to be guarding a hallway, and it's armed with somesort of sword!
You of course, watch it with your ninja powers without it seeing you. Of course, it's just facing the other way... You could just continue on, or do something else.

Actions.

>Maybe it can communicate! Try to talk to it!
>...Nasty! It's a walking dead guy! You should take care of it!
>Continue along, who cares about a walking skeleton?
>Yell hello down the hallway! Maybe someone's down there?
>Write-In
>>
>>754243
>Maybe it can communicate! Try to talk to it!
Spoopy skellingtons make great friends.
>>
"Hi!"

It looks behind you, and tries to hit you with a sword. It doesn't seem sentient in the least.

Of course, it just harmlessly and weakly pings off you. So your just kind of sitting there, watching it assault you. While it does no damage.

"Are you ok?" You say, slightly giggling! It tickles!

It does nothing but hit you.

Actions.

>Pick up the skeleton! Maybe he's lost his owner?
>Aw! You'll be a cute pet!
>Flick it's skull off it's body. That would be cool!
>Press him into the ground! You don't want to hurt him, he's harmless! But at the same time, you can't talk to him.
>Hug him! Your gonna be best friends! Everyone will be your best friend at some point, even things that can't reason!
>...Can you eat bones? Time to find out!
>Yell and see if someone's down the hallway or something.
>Write-In
>>
>>754267
>Hug him! Your gonna be best friends! Everyone will be your best friend at some point, even things that can't reason!
>Pick him up
He can adventure with us.
>>
You give him a big hug! He'll be your bestest friend! Even if he can't do anything besides hit you! So you put him on your back and continue on. He keeps trying to hit you to no avail though...

Of course, your child-like curiosity makes you wander down the hallway which the skeleton was looking down (and facing the wrong way), when you see what he was guarding... A empty room... Holding only coffins, a table, and a coffee machine. You don't really know why there's a coffee machine, honestly.

Actions.

>...Pocket the coffee machine? Maybe it's important?
>Knock over the table by poking it!
>You should loo- You mean, look in the coffins! Not loot them...
>Think about names to call your new skeleton friend!
>Write-in
>>
>>754305
>Think about names to call your new skeleton friend!
Spoopy obviously.
>Knock over the table by poking it!
>>
You decide to call your skeleton friend Spoopy. And you poke a table, which knocks the coffee maker on the ground, which breaks, of course. It was kind of funny.

So of course, you leave again, and continue slithering down the catacombs... You occassionally feel like your being followed, when you eventually see... Something staring at you. Kind of like a rat in armor. It runs off though, and you kind of have a bad feeling about this... But you continue on anyways. Mostly because your curious... After a little bit, you feel kind of tired, and decide to take a nap... Spoopy calmly hacking away at your scales.

Upgrade!

>Sharpen your claws so they can burrow and cut through things!
>Increase your wingspan so you can fly!
>Become BIGGER! Oh, and stronger!
>Shapeshifting? You feel like that's a thing you can do!
>Do an unstable mutation!
>You feel brave! Do a ultra-unstable mutation!
>You don't wanna change! You want to stay this way forever!
>>
>>754342
>Shapeshifting? You feel like that's a thing you can do!

So what are the milestones for getting mutati and upgrades?
>>
Leaving that a mystery for now.

You feel like you can shift into a small human form... Cool!

Of course, now your hungry again. But you ignore it and continue on... After a little bit, you find a room, and poking your adorable little head in there, you see four... Ratmen. Armed with guns?

That's kinda mean...

Actions

>You should scare them! Rawr!
>You never actually hurt anything before... Attack?
>Rush past them into the portal!
>Throw Spoopy at them!
>Oh boy, new friends! Try to make friends with them!
>Use your ninja powers and try to lure them away so you can take care of them stealthily!
Or rush in unopposed!
>Write-In
>>
>>754378
>Oh boy, new friends! Try to make friends with them!
Shift into maximum overcute.
>>
You poke your head out around a corner, sticking your tongue out adorably.

"Hi!" You shout.

Of course, the ratmen point their mean-looking guns at you... They don't seem very nice. They actually seem mean...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to be adorable so they don't shoot at you! Additional +2 for adorable things you can do... Along with a +1 if you can explain why they shouldn't shoot at you!
>>
Rolled 2 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>754408
Take spoopy off our back and roll onto our back and squeak.
And they shouldn't shoot us because we're a cute awesome dragon ninja girl.
>>
Rolled 8 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>754408
>>
The dicegods disapprove.

8+8=16

Failure!

You take Spoopy off, and roll out, and squeak adorably, showing your underbelly... The ratmen however, shoot you in the nose... Which hurts, a ton! Blood begins to run from it!

Actions.

>Cry, and tell them to stop! Maybe you can guilt trip them?
>Try to ignore it and remain adorable.
>...Your in a fight! And your a dragon, so fight them already!
>There's only one way... You gotta be more adorable. Bring out whimpernig, watery eyes... The works.
>Run away!
>Try to grab them and hug them! You won't let them continue being meanies anymore! You'll make them into friendly mice!
>Write-In
>>
>>754492
>There's only one way... You gotta be more adorable. Bring out whimpering, watery eyes... The works.
Obviously dice god wants us to up the ante.
>>
>>754492
>Cry, and tell them to stop! Maybe you can guilt trip them?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Try to be MORE adorable!
2=Cry!
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 for being more adorable... Additional +2 for adorable things you do or say.
>>
Rolled 6 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>754537
Roll on our back then play with our tail.
>>
Allowing samefagging anon.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>754573
Rollan for cute
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>754573
And a third roll if necessary
>>
12+8=20

Borderline Failure!

You begin rolling on your back, and batting at your tail adorably, ignoring the blood coming from your nose... You roll up closer to them, and they seem... Well, confused.

Actions.

>Try to grab them! You'll disarm them and then befriend them!
>You must become even MORE adorable! But how?
>Just keep it steady...
>Roll INTO the portal!
>Flee!
>...Attack now, while they're confused!
>Ask them if they've seen your dad! Try to do this either sadly, or adorably!
>Roll up to a ratman, and look at him adorably... You'll do this one at a time.
>Write-in
>>
>>754646
>You must become even MORE adorable! But how?
Nuzzle against them and give a low (cute) growl.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 for adorableness since you found out another way to be adorable!
>>
Rolled 8 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>754674
Time for an exe-cute-ion
>>
Still allowing for samefagging.
>>
Rolled 10 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>754694
Cute for the cute gods.
>>
Rolled 12 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>754694
And dice for the dice rolls.
>>
12+6=18

Failure!

You go up to one, nuzzle their leg softly, and look up at them with big eyes... It doesn't seem to work, as he kicks you right in the neck, which hurts a little... You feel a little angry.

Actions.

>That's IT. Your done playing misses nice dragon!
>...This would be a lot easier if they were being held captive... Try to grab them!
>Cry at him kicking you... Unless he lacks morals, he'll think he went a little hard on you or something.
>...You feel angry, time to project that. Time to look as INTIMIDATING as possible.
>Call them meanies and run away!
>Rush for the portal!
>Write-In
>>
>>754824
>That's IT. Your done playing misses nice dragon!
We eat things and are cute.
If cute isn't working obviously Nomming is the way to go.
>>
You get up, angry... Lots of thoughts go through your mind...

Actions.

>...Rats probably taste good. Actually, they probably don't, and you don't like hurting people...
>Grab them! You'll make them friends against their will then!
>Ice breath? You never tried that before....
>Knock them out a little! That'll teach em!
>Erh... Try to kill them? You never killed anyone before... That's uh... You'd actually kind of like not to do that.
>Write-In
>>
>>754862
>Ice breath? You never tried that before....
>>
>>754862
>Ice breath? You never tried that before...
Gotta love how averse to killing Renexizia is.
Ren is going to be so ashamed
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5 for actually seeing if your ice breath does anything.

Additional +2 on ice-related puns.
>>
Rolled 20 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>754877
>Snow way can you take me down. I'm to cool for that.
Puns are power.
>>
Critical Success!

"There's snow way you can take me down! I'm too cool for that!" You hell. And breathe a mini-blizzard... And you freeze all the ratmen solid. So of course, you go up into one's face, and blow a raspberry in his face. That'll show him!

Actions.

>...You kinda wonder what happens if you push one of them over. It may kill them though...
>Take them with you! You'll be friends even if they don't want to be friends!
>Gloat a little bit in their faces!
>Just uh, leave them be. They'll get out eventually, right?
>...Your sorta curious on what frost-covered rats taste like. But on the other hand, it may kill them... That's kinda bad...
>Write-in
>>
>>754906
>Take them with you! You'll be friends even if they don't want to be friends!
Into the portal!
>>
You grab them and start humming... And go into the portal!

On the other side... Seems to be three ways! One heads to a place with...Green smoke and it smells dirty, and you can barely breathe... The second way smells and looks a lot cleaner... And you can smell gold that way... Gold smells nice, honestly... And some draconic part of your head screams for it. While the third way just seems to be a tunnel heading... Well, you don't know, really...

Actions

>Take the easy way, take the tunnel going... Well, generically!
>Let your nose guide you towards the gold... Second tunnel it is...
>It smells bad, but the third way might have LIFE that way!
>Write-In
>Write-In
>>
>>754959
>It smells bad, but the third way might have LIFE that way!
Where there's smoke...
>>
You go the third way!

After a little while of walking... You hear more ratmen, and you poke your head out into a... Underground city!
Which smells terrible, to be honest... And there's tons of rat guard and... Rat slaves, being whipped by rat men in cloaks??
No wonder they were so mean! They were whipped into obedience!
You do note that there's more guards then what YOU can handle... So you consider slipping away... Especially since it doesn't seem like this goes to the surface at all... And your dad doesn't seem to be here.

Actions.

>Aw... Slink back to one of the other two tunnels (select gold-route or generic route)
>You can take em! Your an adorable hugging machine!
>Remind yourself to come back here when your bigger and stronger to help everyone here!
>...There's no two ways about it, you gotta help those rat slaves!
>Write-In
>>
>>755013
>Remind yourself to come back here when your bigger and stronger to help everyone here!
>Aw... Slink back to one of the other two tunnels (select gold-route or generic route)
Gold route.
>>
You decide to take the gold route... But you remind yourself to come back when your bigger and stronger to help everyone here!
Yay for positiveness!

Of course, the gold route is... Well, there's lots of gold statues with people with beards going down to their legs. And axes. You don't really know why.

Actions

>...Continue down this way.
>...Gold statues? Giant gold statues? You should erh... Maybe just a little bit of looting...
>Try to unfreeze those Skaven! You want to talk to them!
>Shapeshift to your human form?
>Write-In
>>
>>755048
>Nom on them
>Continue down this way.
>>
You chew a little on the statues as you go down, and you admit gold is rather tasty... Though you don't really eat all of it. You just eat noses and locks of beards... Tasty!

You begin walking down...


You are now Renexizious!

You crawl through the tunnel you dug underground, and you FINALLY arrive at the portal.

So, it's agreed that cats are adorable?

Well, of course they are... Just not the ones that try to eat you or anything.

Eat you?

You know what I mean.

Come on, let's get through the portal already. Hopefully we do end up in Hitler's dimen- I mean, don't.

...Oh God, I miss him already...

Come on Ren, we just gotta hold out until we can see him again.

Hey guys. What did I miss?

Where were you?

I lost connection when you guys went into that portal.

Yeah, same. I don't know why though.

Good thing too, I'd be worried if they let people like Flames in.

Hey!

Calm down the two of you...Let's just go into the portal, ok?

Roll me a 1d2 to see if you end up in Hitler Senpai Land, or just plain old boring magical earth.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>755094
Rollan
>>
You end up in earth, thank God.

It feels a little cold, but you begin to make your way to the surface... As you emerge from a manhole, you sort of notice something about the Eiffel Tower... It's shorter then you remember... Huh. Of course, you shapeshift and begin to take flight towards London.

So, anyways... We're back in our world... Hey uh, I'm kind of curious Ren...

What?

Why exactly did we become rulers in the first place? I mean, honestly, adventuring, debauchery, and other shit like that is a lot more fun.

Actions.

>Oh, I'll tell you. One day.
>So mortals stop pestering for me to solve their problems. Now I get paid to do it.
>Hey! It's still kinda fun.
>Mostly for the glory, wives, prestige, and because no one else could eat the king of Sweden.
>So I could have an excuse to do science and other bullshit? I mean, it's pretty fun.
>...You aren't saying we should just... Leave our empire and let our kids manage it, are you?
>...That kind of sounds like fun. Why bother ruling an empire? Too much work.
>Write-In
>>
>>755161
>...You aren't saying we should just... Leave our empire and let our kids manage it, are you?

>So I could have an excuse to do science and other bullshit? I mean, it's pretty fun.
>>
You aren't saying we should just leave our empire and let our kids manage it, are you?

Well... I like not having to wake up early...

Come on, it's mostly so I have an excuse to do science and shit without looking like a total nerd. Also, it's pretty fun.

Yeah, I guess...

You eventually fly over London... And see your wife's palace. You land calmly next to it, and shift downward. You of course, notice a rather large hole in the wall. How curious. Of course, you go to knock on the door... Which falls over.
Ok then. Well... You step over the door, and onto the floor... And you smell butter?
That's of course, when you slip on the buttery floor... You groan, and begin to get up. Water is nearly... Well, everywhere... Jesus, it's like a tornado went through the house.

What the fuck did this?

...The Elves did this, I bet.

Did any of you see an egg at all? Because I didn't.

Oh shit... You don't think...

I think the elves kidnapped our egg.

Actions.

>Hold on, we don't have any proof. And it's not confirmed yet...
>...The elves did this indeed. They were up to something, I knew it...
>What are you, racist?
>It probably hatched while we were away.
>...Why is there butter everywhere?
>Let's look around, first of all.
>SOMEONE FUCKING KIDNAPPED MY KID! WE GOT TO FUCK THEIR SHIT UP!!!
>...Summon Blondi to sniff down the clues!
>Write-In
>>
>>755208
>Why is there butter everywhere?
>Let's look around, first of all.
>>
So uh... Why is there butter everywhere?

...Fuck if I know.

Maybe your wife likes buttery floors?

No, that's not it...

You take a look around, and the palace is... Welll, it's heavily damaged. The egg is no where to be found, and the library is in ruins. Oh, and Elizabeth's bed is squished. Along with her throne.
Great.

...You don't think my egg hatched and caused all this damage, right?

What if Khorne possessed the egg?

I mean, that's not outside of the realm of possibility.

Think about it. Destroyed books? Khorne hates books. I think. And destruction everywhere, along with water damage for some reason... And butter?

I think the egg just hatched...

Well, we've got to find it one way or the other... And probably limit how pissed off Liz is going to be when she finds out her palace has been destroyed. She may even have to live with us...

Actions.

>...You thinking what I'm thinking?
>This egg was a godsend. You don't think Liz will stay with us longer? It would take MONTHS to repair this, right?
>...Well, let's see if we can't pay for the damages then.
>...Did Khorne really posses you kid? Contact him.
>Write-In
>>
>>755257
>This egg was a godsend. You don't think Liz will stay with us longer? It would take MONTHS to repair this, right?
>No way khorne is too cool to possess my kid.
Khorne is a bro.
>Summon blondi to look for clues.
>>
...That egg was a godsend. She's going to stay with us for MONTHS. Sweet... But there's no way Khorne possed my egg. He's too cool.

Just throwing stuff out there.

...The Jews might of, but let's let Blondi do this...

You summon Blondi. You don't see him though. Until you hear a yap... And look below. You see a... Small puppy.

What.

He barks happily, fire coming from his mouth, and his tongue sticking out.

Holy shit, that is Blondi.

Blondi is no bigger then the size of a fucking cat. Holy shit, this is adorable.

Then he licks your shoe. Which bursts into fire. You panic and extinguish it by pressing it into the floor, and Blondi runs over to you, happy.

Actions.

>...Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy!
>I'm fucking done. I'm getting alcohol and drinking it. And with Blondi.
>...I can't tell if I love puppy Blondi or huge Blondi. Both are fucking adorable.
>...You know, I think that the daemons of Khorne, Tzeentch, Slaanesh, that shit, are too weak to actually be terrifying or anything right now. That would explain the Tzeentchian blue jay, and why Blondi's a puppy... An adorable one at that.
>In a sense, he's more effective in combat since we can throw him at his enemies.
>...I think Khorne's playing a joke on us. I can't tell anymore.
>...I feel sad now that I can't ride a giant all-terrain dog into battle.
>Come on Blondi, let's look for clues!
>...Write-In
>>
>>755311
>...You know, I think that the daemons of Khorne, Tzeentch, Slaanesh, that shit, are too weak to actually be terrifying or anything right now. That would explain the Tzeentchian blue jay, and why Blondi's a puppy... An adorable one at that.
>Come on Blondi, let's look for clues!
>>
You know, I think that the daemons of Khorne, Tzeentch, Slaanesh, that shit, are too weak to actually be terrifying or anything right now. That would explain the Tzeentchian blue jay, and why Blondi's a puppy... An adorable one at that...

This is fucking adorable.

"Blondi? Look for clues where the egg could of gone!"

He barks happily, eager to be doing something!

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if he finds something!
>>
>>755208
>It probably hatched while we were away.
>I bet she shares my love for butter!
>>
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>755341
Blondi be the Ace tracker we need!
>>
>>755365
>>755341
You can run but you can never hide.
Blondi will track our child across the globe. And even across the multiverse.
>>
Critical Success!

Blondi quickly gets the scent of your kid really fast, and begins to bark.

"Where is it, boy?"

He runs outside, and you begin to follow him to the dock... He barks out to the ocean... So of course, you shapeshift and begin to follow where he's barking...

You are now Renexizia, and you've just gotten to a weird wall. With a gold gate in the front... And a few short midgets in front of it...
Honestly, you think they're adorable, with their beards and stubby legs... And thanks to your ninja powers, they don't even see you.
Yet.

Actions.

>Use your ninja powers to SNEAK CLOSER!
>Oh my god they're so cuteeeeee! Rush them and hug them!
>Loudly shout hi!
>Turn around...
>Shapeshift?
>Write-In
>>
Just got back!
>>755418
>Oh my god they're so cuteeeeee! Rush them and hug them!
>>
>>755418
>Shapeshift?
Little girl form activate!
>Oh my god they're so cuteeeeee! Rush them and hug them!
>>
>>755418
Changing to >>755429
>>
>>755426
That's pretty good.

Your mind goes through seven layers of "daww" once you see them, but you become aware of your size, and realize you could possibly crush them!
So you shift down to a little girl, and charge them!

You give the Dwarven guard a huge, big hug... And he mostly seems confused. And talks in a strange form of English.

"Do I know ye?"

Actions.

>Oh. Sorry. I didn't want to crush you! Shift to your dragon form!
>I'm your bestest friend forever!
>I'm Reneixiza! I'm a friend!
>You have a funny beard!
>Have you seen my dad?
>I'm kinda just lookin' around. Can I enter?
>Write-In
>>
>>755471
>I'm Reneixiza! I'm a friend!
>Have you seen my dad?
Wait we have clothes right?
Please tell me we have clothes
>>
>>755479
Of course. I'm not perverted.

"I'm Renexizia! I'm a friend. So uh... Have you seen my dad?"

"Erh, what did he look like, lass?" The guard seems somewhat confused...

Actions.

>He's big, tall, and strong. I think.
>I don't actually know.
>...Does the name Renexizious ring a bell?
>He's a giant dragon. I think.
>Try to talk in an accent like the dwarf! It's cool!
>Erh... Nevermind, actually.
>Write-In
>>
>>755487
>...Does the name Renexizious ring a bell?
>>
>>755487
>...Does the name Renexizious ring a bell?
>>
"Does the name Renexizious ring a bell?"

The guard ponders for a minute.

"...Sorta. Isn't that a name in the book of grudges? I think for attacking a Dwarven Hold, ain't that right, Grimnar?"

The other guard nods.

"Aye."

"...This dwarven hold, in particular."

"Aye."

"...Speaking of which, he's a dragon..."

"Aye."

The guard starts putting it together...

Actions.

>Did I say father? I meant someone I was looking for.
>Yeah! I'm looking for him.
>...What's a book of grudges?
>Can you let me inside please?
>Shapeshift!
>Come on... Not all dragons are evil...
>If I was his daughter, then I would have scales, wouldn't I?
>Write-in
>>
>>755520
>...What's a book of grudges?
>Why are you guys acting weird?
>>
"So uh... What's a book of grudges? And why are you guys acting so weird?"

"We're guards! And how don't ye' know of the book of grudges lass? It's like ye ain't a true dwarf!"

"Aye!"

"Now, get goin! We don't want yer' kind around, dragon..."

"How could you tell I was a dragon?"

"Yer' eyes! Also because yer' eyeing me gold amulet!"

You shake your eyes off of his golden amulet.

"Huh? Sorry?"

"Also, because you outed yourself as a dragon. So get out of here!"

Actions

>Come on, I just want to know where my dad could of gone... I'll be gone for a while if you tell me, ok?
>So you HAVE seen my father. Cool!
>Shapeshift. Human form isn't doing any favors for you.
>I can prove to you I'm a dwarf!
>You want more friends... All the friends! Try to befriend the guard!
>>
>>755581
wait is this a dwarven stronghold that wrecked Rens shit? Or am I just plain wrong?
>Come on, I just want to know where my dad could of gone... I'll be gone for a while if you tell me, ok?
>>
>>755605
Yeah, stronghold which nearly wrecked Ren's shit, but got conquered barely. Then he abandoned it and the dwarves reclaimed it.

"Come on, I just want to know where my dad went to... I'll be gone for a while if you tell me, ok?"

"Fine. He went to the surface, towards the South, I think."

"...Thanks?"

"Circumvent the Karak. Got it?"

"Ok..."

You begin to walk around the edge of the Karak... And begin traveling towards the surface.

You are back to Renexizious again, and your hot on the trail of where your child could of gone... Blondi barks at the... Portal you went into earlier.

SON OF A FUCKING BITCH SHE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!

Jeez, calm down. We just fell for the biggest cliche in history, it's not a big deal.

...It is to me...

You and Blondi go into the portal!

Roll me a 2d2 for who ends up where?
>>
Rolled 2, 2 = 4 (2d2)

>>755628
Plz be gentle portal.
>>
>>755628
also how does Ren know our gender? I'm not wrong for being confused about that am I?
>>
You and Blondi en-

You are currently being crushed by Blondi!

Goddamn it...

He barks happily, happy to be his normal size again. He bites you by the shirt and begins to carry you.

"Blondi! Let go!"

Your shirt begins to catch on fire, and he lets go in time for it to be set ablaze. This leaves you with a burned shirt, which you take off.

"Great, thanks."

He barks again, and licks your human face. Which sets it on fire. So you begin rolling in pain.

"Please, stop setting me on fire Blondi..."

He pauses... And barks in disagreement.

Actions.

>...Please? I'll give you a snack.
>...I'm getting you a collar when we get back home...
>You can repay for my shirt by letting me ride you, ok?
>...That's it, no Smaug for a day.
>Sigh, and ignore it. You have a long ways to go...
>Can you at least get closer to me so I can pet you?
>Write-In
>>
>>755649
Uh, shit...
Ren's just being lazy and randomly shouting genders because calling something "it" is kind of confusing?
>>
>>755653
>...That's it, no Smaug for a day.
I'm sure Smaug loves that idea
>>
>>755654
I can buy that.
>>755653
>You can repay the shirt by letting me ride you.
We can go faster then.
>>
"That's it, no Smaug for a day."

Blondi whines a little bit, and turns towards you... Oh God, his eyes are watering. Well, not watering. They're just... Well, little tears of embers.
Oh God...

"'I'm erh..."

He whines a little... And nuzzles your arm sadly...
Oh mother of God.

Actions.

>...Fine... I guess...
>Only if you let me ride you, ok?
>Try to resist the daemonic doggo!
>Pet him.
>Write-In
>>
>>755671
>Only if you let me ride you, ok?
>Now hurry we have to find my kid.
>>
"Only if you let me ride you, ok?"

He barks in agreement and you get on him...
And you begin riding. Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can catch up to your child!
>>
Rolled 16 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>755695
Blondi needs to go fast.
>>
16+4=20

Blondi does indeed, go fast. Very fast.

Roll me a 1d20+3 for how fast your kid goes.
>>
>>755712
Fuck, meant a 1d20+2
>>
Rolled 10 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>755714
Rollan
>Inb4 20
>>
After a few hours of riding, you think you've very nearly found them... You pass by a dwarf with three Skaven prisoners along the way, and the friendly female dwarf waves at you. Either way, you continue riding down.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if Ren can put two and two together.
>>
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>755733
Ren is a slow.
>>
Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>755733
>>
So, anon... Use barbaric?

>Yes!
>Nah, use it for the inevitable nat 1 later.
>>
Yes
>>
>>755751
Yes
Future Nat 1s be damned
>>
Roll me a 1d20.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>755759
Barbarian dad to the rescue!
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>755759
>>
18

Success!

You sort of realize that you've never seen a female dwarf before, and second of all, you've never met a friendly dwarf before. So of course, you back up Blondi a few hundred feet.

"Hi!"

"Right, HI... Erh, did you happen to hatch from an egg a few hours ago?"

"Well, yeah. I think."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm Renexizia, nice to meet you!"

Actions.

>...Hold on, hold on. You don't want to reveal yourself yet, you want to be her friend and THEN once she likes you enough, that you reveal your her father. It's a rather nice shock, isn't it?
>I'm Renexizious. You may of heard of me>
>Why don't you get on my mount?
>Blondi, say hi.
>...Are those skaven your first slaves? Aw... I remember my first slaves...
>Renexizia? That's a uh... Well, great name?
>Get off your mount and hug her!
>Write-In
>>
>>755804
>Renexizia? That's a uh... Well, great name?

>I'm Renexizious. You may of heard of me
>>
>>755804
>...Hold on, hold on. You don't want to reveal yourself yet, you want to be her friend and THEN once she likes you enough, that you reveal your her father. It's a rather nice shock, isn't it?
My name is Ren too!
>>
Going to wait fifteen minutes...
>>
>>755815
Wait.
Let's do this
and inevitably fail because our daughter hates killing people
It'll be interesting
>>
"Hey, my name's Ren too! Come on, why don't you ride with me? Probably more comfortable then walking, eh?"

"Well... Sure. Is there room for my friends up there?"

You look at the skaven.

"...Erh, friends?"

"Well, not yet... But soon!"

You raise an eyebrow, somewhat confused on anyone calling a Skaven a friend... You look behind you, and see enough for her and her skaven-friends. Or slaves, if that's what she calls them. You hope that's what she calls them.

Actions.

>...Well, it's your daughter... Sure. She can put them on, I guess.
>Sorry, but there's no room. (Lie)
>Blondi, you ok with a few rats?
>...Blondi, do me a favor and eat them, please...
>I'm curious, do they do any work for you? Like erh... Servants? Or slaves, maybe?
>Grit your teeth, remember your trying to be good, and begrudgingly agree. And keep an eye on them at all times.
>Write-In
>>
>>755831
>Grit your teeth, remember your trying to be good, and begrudgingly agree. And keep an eye on them at all times.
>>
You grit your teeth, and remember your trying to be as good as possible...

"Well... Sure, I guess..."

"Thanks! Come on!"

She sling them over Blondi, who growls a little at them. You calm him down and he begins going towards the surface.

"So... Wanna be friends?"

"...Just like that?"

"Well, yeah?"

You look back at her, easily confused.

Actions.

>...You need to teach her that not everyone's going to be her friend. Say no.
>...Erh... Sure? I guess?
>...Seriously? Do you consider EVERYONE to be your friend? That's a little naive.
>Well, sure. That sounds fun.
>But we don't even know if we connect on anything! For all we know, I could like pirates and you could like ninjas! Or you could like syrup while I like butter! Or both!
>Write-In
>>
>>755865
>Well, sure. That sounds fun.
>...Seriously? Do you consider EVERYONE to be your friend? That's a little naive.
How long till we redpill our daughter?
>>
>>755869
Supporting
And probably immediately.
This is Renexizious we're talking about.
>>
[re]d"Right... Well, sure. That uh, sounds fun... So do you seriously consider everyone to be your friend? That's a little naive."[/red]

"Well, not immediately! At least, for these three. They shot at me, but we'll get along soon enough!"

You glare at them, intimidatign them... Too bad they're not facing you.

"I see..."

Actions.

>...So uh, by "friends" you mean slaves, right? Just curious.
>So, want to get some food? I'm starving...
>So, any life ambitions? Like conquer the world? Or galaxy? Or universe? Anything like that?
>Just curious, do you like butter?)
>...Erh, how many friends do you have?
>Do you destroy anything? Like palaces??`
>...So... Ever killed anyone? Just curious.
>No need for more questions...
>Go to being Renexizia! (PoV Switch)
>>
>>755889
>Go to being Renexizia
I want to experience his attempt to redpill us.
>>
>>755895
>Go to being Renexizia! (PoV Switch)
>>
You are now Renexizia!

"So uh... What's your favorite food?"

"What?"

"Just uh, curious." He says, somewhat awkwardly.

"Well, I love all food! I love butter...."

He raises an eyebrow at that, somewhat happy.

"You know... All the good stuff."

"Wew... Well, that's good. So uh... Just another question... Any hobbies at all?"

Actions.

>What's your hobbies?
>Well, right now it's trying to find my dad. It's kinda hard... And I'm not really sure I want to from what I hear about him.
>Uh... I like eating towers? They taste good?
>I love art! It's great! And tasty!
>My hobby is making friends, and being fun to be around!
>Property damage is my official hobby!
>Uh... What's a hobby?
>Write-In
>>
>>755918
>Uh... I like eating towers? They taste good?
>I love art! It's great! And tasty!
But our one true love
>Property damage is my official hobby!
>>
>>755918
This >755926
but also
>Ninja!
>>
"Well, towers taste good... And I love art!"

His eyebrow raises, slightly curious.

"It's tasty... I dunno why."

He lets out a sigh of relief.

"Oh, that's uh, good. Yeah."

"But I love property damage! And being a ninja!"

"...Ninja? Property damage?" Those are very good things for a dr- I mean, person like you."

"Yeah! It's fun! I destroyed an entire palace once! My mouth was like a watergun, spraying water everywhere and I stepped on a lot of stuff!"

"Good. Good. That's uh. Good."

"You kinda talk funny... Why is that?"

"Talk funny?"

"Well, yeah."

"Sorry, I uh... Went through a shock recently."

"Really? That must suck..."

"Yeah... So anyways... Any life ambitions?"

"I'm only a day old..."

"Come on, it's good to start young..."

Actions.

>I wanna find my parents, and spend so much time with them, that they grow sick of me! Well... Hopefully not sick. That would be kinda sad...
>I wanna have all the friends in the universe!
>I want to be the biggest and friendliest dragon around! Rawr! Did I mention I was a dragon?
>I dunno, honestly...
>What's your ambition in life?
>Do you have any ideas?
>Write-In
>>
>>755946
>I want to be big and strong and have lot's of friend and be a ninja. And I want lot's of food too.
>>
"Well, I want to be big and strong, and have lots of friends, and be a ninja and I want lots of food...."

"Take a breath, Jesus... Well, erh... I think we're approaching the surface... If you have any questions, I guess you can ask... Just saying, don't always use nice words and language to think you can get what you want... Unless your Blondi."

Blondi barks loudly. How adorable! You press your face against his fur and rub him!

Actions.

>...You seem kind of awkward. Why?
>Are you my dad?
>How do you know I hatched from an egg?
>Do you know my dad?
>Uh... Why is your mount a dog? Isn't it supposed to be a horse?
>What's your dream in life?
>Do you have something about making friends?
>You kinda seem like you want to say something. What is it?
>Do you know my mom at all?
>Write-In
>>
>>755969
>Uh... Why is your mount a dog? Isn't it supposed to be a horse?
>>
>>755969
>How do you know I hatched from an egg?
>Why did you suddenly turn around to talk to me
>And where were you going. And why?

I need sleep OP goodnight.
>>755977
Remember.
A blue pill a day keeps the red away.
>>
I need to go to sleep now to. But this vid will haunt my dreams
>>>/pol/94744952
>>
youtube for the archive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlFlRevVGcg
>>
"So uh... Mind if I ask why your mount is a dog? Isn't it supposed to be a horse?"

"That's for pansies."

"What's a pansy?"

"A very cowardly person. Also, because Blondi was for free."

You open your mouth, astonished.

"You can get DOGS for free!?!"

"Uh, well... Not usually..."

You slump down, kinda sad.

"Aw..."

"But uh... Anything else?"

"Well, yeah... How did you know I hatched from an egg? And why did you turn around to talk to me? And where were you going? And why?"

"That's uh... Well, I thought you could use the help..."

"Really? How nice of you!"

"You are awfully naive, you know that, right?"

"What's wrong with thinking that everyone has good inside them?"

"Oh, nothing... Forget I said anything, ok?"

"Ok. I understand. So, where are we going?"

"To the surface?"

"Why?"

"I mean... Erh... Well, I'd never let a dwarf walk that far... Anyways, we're friends, right?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, have you ever tried raiding? I mean, I can tell your a dragon."

"What? Seriously? How can everyone tell..."

"Trade secret... So, why don't you show me how you raid a village or two?"

"Raid a village?"

'Well, I'm kinda curious. You did say you like property destruction... And that could be fun to watch if you like it... Besides, you might even pick up a few habits..."

Actions.

>I don't break people's stuff on a whim! Also, I'm hungry, so I'd rather just find food...
>That sounds kinda mean though...
>Well, I'll try, I guess...
>Can't I just be adorable? Why do I have to raid?
>Habits? What kind of habits?
>Why do you care so much about me?
>Write-In
>>
>>755990
Last post before rest because fuck Ren's red pill.
>Habits? What kind of habits?
>But won't that hurt people?
>That sounds kind of mean.
>>
"Habits? What kind of habits?"

"Well, being superior to hu- I mean, knowing your place, having slaves..."

You hear him mutter under his breath that he regrets none of his kids having slaves...

"Oh. And uh, being big and not being afraid to use it?"

He talks like an uncomfortable dad trying to pretend to be cool and hip... Or at least friendly.

"But won't that hurt people?"

"Well, maybe... But you could always just uh... Erh..." His eye darts around, and he looks at your ratmen friends!

"You could make them into SUPER best friends?"

You become more execited at the word "Super."

"What's that?"

"Well, plenty of people aren't going to be willing to be your friend... So uh, just take them with you, and forcibly make them your friend... They'll do a lot of work for you..."

"Forcibly? That sounds kinda mean..."

"Well, it's not mean if it's friendship?"

Actions

>...I think your trying to trick me into enslaving people. I think. Are you?
>You sound kinda desperate...
>Well, I love property damage... So yay!
>Forcibly? I make all my friends because they want to be friends! Which is everyone in the whole wide world! Yay!
>...Do I get to eat things?
>Erh... Well... Sorry, but your kinda weird... Can I get off your puppy?
>That's like bullying! That's not nice...
>...Why use the word raid then instead of try and be friends with something?
>...I don't think you've had many friends, mister...
>Well, I love friends... But what do I do if they don't like me?
>Write-in
>>
>>756410
>You sound kinda desperate...
>...I don't think you've had many friends, mister...
>...I think your trying to trick me into enslaving people. I think. Are you?
>>
"You sound kinda desperate... I don't think you've had many friends, mister."

He laughs... Evily?

"Come on! I've had plenty of friends."

You can't help but be suspicious of that fact.

"Well, if I couldn't tell any better, I'd say your trying to trick me into enslaving people... I think. Are you?"

"Erh... Well, yes..."

"Oh."

"...So... A ninja dragon?"

"Yeah! Ninja Dragon!" You strike a cool pose. Which is just you putting your arms over your head.

"...How the hell are you sneaking around as a dragon?"

"I use my powers of blending in with the shadows..." You say, as you put your hands over your head...

"...Erh, right... Well... I see your rather nice for a dragon. Why?"

"Because I wanna have all the friends?"

"...Right, right."

"...Do you have many friends?"

"Well, of course I do."

Actions.

>What sort of friends, mister?
>Are any of them my dad?
>Why do you seem so nervous talking to me at times?
>Are you SURE?
>You seem kinda lonely... In fact, I think I'll get these skaven to become friends with you and me! It'll be fun!!!
>Hug him, and tell him you'll be best friends forever... Even if he sounds a bit mean!
>Are you a dragon too? I'm curious...
>Write-In

>inb4 Renexizia makes a grimdark world a lot less gritty simply because of her adorableness and making people her friend.
>>
>>756552
>Are you a dragon too? I'm curious...
>Are any of them my dad?
>>
"Well, are you a dragon too? I'm curious."

"Well, yes... I am."

"Really? Cool!"

"Yeah."

"So uh, question... Are any of your friends my dad?"

"Well, of course... Do you want to listen to what I have to say about him?"

Actions.

>Nah... That's kinda boring. I know a lot about him. I think.
>...Well, only if you promise to be my best friend forever. And ever.
>Sure! Go ahead!
>I think you might be a little biased.
>Can you help me find him though? I'm looking for him and my mom!
>I heard he has more then one wife... Is that true?
>I heard he was kinda mean...
>You know my dad! Where is he? Oh, and hug him. Your so excited!
>Sorry, but you sound a little biased for him...
>Write-In
>>
>>756577
>Sure! Go ahead!
>Can you help me find him though? I'm looking for him and my mom!
>>
Going to be back in an hour anons, sorry.
>>
Giving a small update anons.

"Well, sure! Go ahead! But uh, can you help me find him though? I'm looking for him and my mom!"

"Well, of course I will. But first..."

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can pay attention to a long speech given by your friend.
Samefagging allowedD!
>>
Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>756688
>>
Rolled 17 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>756688
>>
17+4=21

Good Success!

You pay great attention to detail... And listen closely.

"So, where to start..."

"Well, many people claim your father's a bad man... It's somewhat true and somewhat false."

"Somewhat true and somewhat false?"

"Well, your father doesn't really have too many morals, and is rather impulsive... Very impulsive, actually..."

"Really?"

"Well, of course. He tries his best though, and sometimes he just can't help but lose his temper... He has a lot of things to do."

"Like what?"

"Well, ruling a nation for one, which nearly spans an entire continent, not to mention his wives he has to appease, his friends which he sometimes talk to, and his many, many kids..."

"How many kids does he have?"

"A lot, from what I hear... He loves them all though... Even if sometimes they act against him or are a little TOO human..."

"Too human?"

"Well, I think there was this one child he had, who preffered being in his human form and painting... I believe he gave him a good teaching, and he's well adjusted to being a dragon... I didn't really want that, though. In my opinion, he was being a bit of a dick."

"Dick?"

"Erh, ignore that. Please. Don't tell him I said that."

"I heard he doesn't spend that much time with them."

He sighs a little bit.

"It's true... But that's because he has so much to do. He really does love his family though, even if he's a little... Distant. And not always there."

"Oh..."

"So just remember that, for me, ok?"

"Oh. Alright."

"Right... I think your father is in Mousilion... Now come on, we'll find him together."

You have a few questions in your mind...

Actions.

>Stay silent...
>Are my siblings nice at all? I'm curious...
>...He rules a nation? Why doesn't he try to be nice? People love nice rulers! I think...
>So he tries his best to be nice but he's just too busy to try?
>How many wives does he have?
>You sure do know a lot about my dad! Who are you again?
>...So... He won't spend any time with me? Oh, and become sad.
>What's my mom like?
>Why does he have so many wives?
>...I can change him! He'll become the most friendly dragon ever! Besides me, of course!
>...How many friends do YOU have? I'm curious.
>...Can I have a hug? I miss them...
>Write-In
>>
Anons?
>>
>>756923
>...How many friends do YOU have? I'm curious.
>...He rules a nation? Why doesn't he try to be nice? People love nice rulers! I think...
>What's my mom like?
I'm finally back to play as best character Renexizia
>>
"So uh, how many friends do YOU have? I'm curious."

"Me? I don't actually have that many friends... Besides my wife, Renexizious, and Fenrir..."

"Who's Fenrir? And who's your wife?"

"Fenrir's kind of an asshole..." You hear him mutter something about "he keeps calling me a fucking furry..." But you shake that out of your mind.

"What's an a-"

"Please don't say that word, ok?"

"Oh. Ok. So Ren..."

"Call me Flames."

"Oh. Ok... So uh, what's your wife like?"

He seems to become visibly more happy.

"Well, she's soft, perfect... Adorable. Kind of like you. But she's huge, and a minotaur..."

"That's sweet... What's a minotaur?"

"It's like a cow... But erh... Actually, why don't I show you her when we get there? She's fucking adorable left alone."

"Cows are adorable! Sure!"

He turns around and rubs you a little on the head.

"You seem a lot nicer then earlier... Why?"

"Oh, erh... I drank a little too much alcohol. And I kind of felt mean, so I took o- I mean, I sobered up."

"What's alcohol?"

"Erh... Let's not talk about that, ok?"

"Ok... So uh, my dad rules a nation? Why doesn't he try to be nice? I mean, people love nice rulers, I think..."

"I tried to get him to go nice... He's uh... Improving. But mostly just for another woman, I think. He's... Ok? At it?"

"Huh... So what's my mom like?"

"She's a noble, with a fine as- I mean, she's a rather maternal fellow... Takes care of Ren's kids... And rules a nation as well. She's very nice. But gets angry easily."

"Huh..."

You see him suddenly become... Angry. And whisper to himself?

"What's the problem?"

"Uh, nothing. Just remembering something from earlier..."

"Oh."

"Yeah... So uh, why don't we continue on?" He pats you on the head, and he begins to ride...

Actions.

>...Shift to Flame's point of view?
>...Why are you patting me on the head?
>Yay for not being mean anymore! Give Flames a hug!
>You seem kinda nice... Nicer then earlier.
>Aw, I feel bad for you... Give Flames a headpat!
>Can we stop talking? Sorry for being rude, but I just want to see my dad.
>Is this dog yours?
>Why did you stop for me though?
>Are you alright?
>...So is my mom a dragon? I'm curious...
>I want to see the minotaur! Can we visit her? Pleeeeeaaseee?
>Write-In
>>
>>757088
>You seem kinda nice... Nicer then earlier.
>Yay for not being mean anymore! Give Flames a hug!
Being nice is nice.
>>
"You seem nice. Nicer then before.."

You give him a hug, and he suddenly becomes nervous, and gently pushes you off.

"Sorry, but your dad would be angry if you hugged me or thought I was your dad..."

Actions

>Look at him sadly... You want that hug!
> It's just a hug. I do it to everyone!
> Ok, fine...
> I wish you were my dad... Mine doesn't seem so nice.
> Do we have any food?
> Write In
>>
>>757138
>Look at him sadly... You want that hug!
> I wish you were my dad... Mine doesn't seem so nice.
Flames for dad of the year.
>>
>>757138
> It's just a hug. I do it to everyone!
>Look at him sadly... You want that hug!
> Do we have any food?
>>
"Come on... Please?" You look at him sadly...

"I mean..."

You hug him again anyways, but rather then push you off him, he also gives you a hug..

"I wish you were my dad. You seem a lot nicer then him..."

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see how open to this he is...
>>
Rolled 19 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>757165
Is the nope train gonna roll in?
Let's find out
>>
>>757167
19+6=25

"Wait... Really?"

"I guess?"

He seems overjoyed, and gives you a big, huge hug.

"Well, that leaves only one thing to do... Try to be the best dad I can be."

"Really?"

"...Uh, was that a figure of speech? I think I sorta overreacted." He says while scratching his neck, somewhat awkwardly.

Actions

> Yeah... It was. Sorry.
> Try to out hug him!
> Yay! I have a family! And a new mom, and a puppy, and new friends... Yay!
> I still wanna find my dad though.
> Yay! New dad!
> Can we celebrate with food?
> Write In
>>
>>757184
> Yay! New dad!
> Can we celebrate with food?
And Renexizious was never mentioned again.
>>
"Yay, New dad!" You shout.

"Heh, yeah... Ow..."

"What's wrong?"

"Just a ugh... A headache."

"Aw... Can we celebrate with food? Pleeeeeaaaaseee?"

He laughs a little, though clearly in pain and annoyed by something.

"Sure... I was getting hungry too. Do you drink oil at all?"

Actions

> I never tried it, dad... But I will for you!
> Stick your tongue out. That sounds disgusting!
> I have a question... What do people taste like?
> I kinda wanted to eat meat... I could eat a warehouse of it!
> Is there any towers nearby? Or art?
> Kiss dad to make him feel better!
> How about a restaurant?
> Is your wife my new mom? I'm curious.
>Write In
>>
>>757246
> I never tried it, dad... But I will for you!
> Kiss dad to make him feel better!
so how salty is Ren right now? I know he's yelling like hell in there right now
>>
>>757254
Salty as fuck. Very salty, with extra salt.

You kiss him, and he blushes slightly...

"I will for you, dad!"

"Right, well... Let's find some..."

Roll me a 1d20-3 to see if you like oil or not.
>>
Rolled 5 - 3 (1d20 - 3)

>>757265
>>
Rolled 14 - 3 (1d20 - 3)

>>757265
If we don't like oil that means we found one thing we won't eat.
It'll be a historic moment
>>
You and Flames find a pool of black liquid, which both of you drink from... And found that you hate the taste of it, and spit it out.

"Don't like it?"

"It's gross..."

"Oh. Sorry... Well, what else do you eat?"

Actions

> Is there any buildings nearby?
> Force yourself to drink the oil!
> Stone and rock sound tasty right about now...
> Is there any meat nearby?
> I think I lost my appetite...
> Is there any houses I can eat?
> Write In
>>
>>757333
> Stone and rock sound tasty right about now...
We're still young so we need a varied diet.
>>
"Well, stone and rock sound tasty right now..."

You shift to your dragon form, and bite the cavern walls. You then notice your teeth are stuck, and Flames is laughing slightly.

"I don't think your strong enough to eat cavern walls."

You grunt slightly, trying to get your teeth out...

"I'll show you how it's done. I think I know how..."

He shifts into a MASSIVE dragon form, which takes up the cavern with ease. Blondi of course runs over to you to avoid being squished, and your new dad carves out a small section of rock, causing it to fall on the floor... Said rock is the size of his pinkie, and nearly twice as big as you. So of course, you begin to try an eat it once you get your teeth unstuck...

You must admit, eating the rock was a little bland... but your full. Meanwhile, Flames pats you on the head... And shifts down.

"Let's uh, get to the surface, ok?"

"That sounds like fun!"

PoV shift anons?

>Remain as Renexizia!
>Become Flames!
>Renexizious, and the trouble with two heads!
>>
>>757406
>Renexizious, and the trouble with two heads!
>>
>>757406
>Renexizious, and the trouble with two heads!
>>
You are now Renexizious anons. And you are FUCKING PISSED OFF.

GET OUT OF MY BODY YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU FUCKING STOLE IT WHEN I ASKED YOU FOR HELP!

And you are trying to give your greatest friend a massive headache so he'll fucking just stop trying to become your daughter's dad.

Shut up, your trying to make her evil as shit. Then she'll hate us for trying...

Coming from the guy who didn't even want to bother checking in on her!

Coming from the guy who wants her to take up slavery.

It's a good hobby! Too bad I can't pursue it anymore... Besides, I need my kids to follow in my legacy, and NONE of them even have one indentured servant! Let alone slaves!

I thought you were trying to be good?

SO I COULD GET LAID![/red[

I know... I'll give you back your body when we aren't trying to get our daughter to love us so we can give her the ugly truth, ok?

Are you going to do anything else?

Well... If you refuse and continue giving me a headache, I'll just impersonate you and invent something to stop giving me headaches.

You wouldn't.

I wouldn't actually, that's true. But can you calm down, seriously?

Actions

>Shut the fuck up and give me back my body!
>...If she even comes to harm you'll never get my body again.
>She need to become a slaver! It's a family tradition!
>I'll give you a day until you fuck up somehow.
>Well, if she loves me by the end of it, fine...
>I'm never asking you ever again for family advice.
>...You are not going to make Chrysoula her new mom though. As adorable as cuddling would be, she needs to see her mom.
>Write-In
>>
>>757454
>...You are not going to make Chrysoula her new mom though. As adorable as cuddling would be, she needs to see her mom.
>>
You are NOT making Chrysoula her new fucking mom, ok? As adorable as it sounds, she needs to see her mom.

That's not going to be a problem. She basically has... What, three moms?

Three moms?

Well, yeah. They're all going to take care of her, right?

That's up to them...

Oh, right... Well, can you calm down? I'm not going to make Chrysoula her mom unless she wants to have a soft and fluffy minotaur for a mom.

So your introducing her to Elizabeth?

You are. I'm just going to try and make her love us along the way, ok? And please don't make her evil or anything...

Actions.

>Fine, I think I can deal with you pretending to be her father for a bit...
>...You better not let her have any other of my wives as her mom...
>Continue to annoy Flames!
>...You owe me one.
>Fine... But after this, I'm going to tumble Chrysoula just to spite you... Even if it's ok with you.
>I want my child to stop being a pansy and start being a dragon, damn it! Give me control!
>..."Agree" to the terms. When you get control, you'll try to show the truth to Renexizia.
>You might as well tell her we're her real father already...
>Write-In
>>
>>757546
>Fine... But after this, I'm going to tumble Chrysoula just to spite you... Even if it's ok with you.
>>
Ok, fine. But after this, I'm going to tumble Chrysoula, just to spite you. Even if it's ok with you.

Can you not?

She'll fall for me.

Goddamn, you aren't going to seduce my wife...

I thought you said it was ok?

I said it was ok if I said so. And I don't want you to tumble my wife right now... Besides, you have plenty of wives for you to tumble.

Uncomfortable now?

Of course I am... This sounds like an episode of "steal Flame's girlfriend because I want petty revenge", since I accidentally stole your daughter...

Actions

>I'm not stealing your girlfriend.
>You said it was alright if I did it!
>...I'm not stealing your girlfriend. I swear. (Lie or Truth)
>...I am going to dominate Chrysoula, and she'll love me instead of you when I get out of here, goddamn it...
>Fine, I'll pretend to be you, ok?
>It was a joke...
>Write-In
>>
>>757572
>It was a joke...
>>
...It was a joke.

...Really? I don't think I've ever heard you tell a joke before.

Implying Renexizious would ever actually listen to you to not tumble your wife. I bet you'd probably watch.

Oh shut the fuck up you.

Right... So... I'm trapped here again. Great.

Actions.

>...Shift PoV AGAIN!
>...You may not tumble her, but you are going to be "forward" with her. Heh..
>...Twiddle your thumbs until you get your body back.
>...Annoy flames further.
>Start plotting on how to redpill your daughter...
>Write-In
>>
Bump.
>>
Final bump anons.
>>
>>757584
>...Twiddle your thumbs until you get your body back.
>>
>>757584
>Start plotting on how to redpill your daughter...
>>
You decide to wait until you get your body back. During the mean time, Flames and Renexizia hang out and get along rather well, and eventually reach the surface... Flames offers you control again, and you take it.

[red}"Erh... That's more like it."[/red]

"What, dad?"

Oh. Right. You look around, and see your close to a village, a rather quaint and small one, and the two of you seem to be drinking. You quickly become concerned if she's drinking alcohol, and are relieved to see it's just water.

"Are you alright?"

"Huh? Yeah."

Actions.

>...Why don't you call me Ren from now on?
>...So, you know I'm Renexizious, right?
>Just curious, where exactly are we?
>She's not womanly until she drinks some beer! Order some!
>...You feel a need to stretch a little. Go outside and shapeshift into your dragon form.
>...Why don't we talk a little about your... Naivety?
>...Come on, we're nearly at Mousilion.
>Write-In
>>
>>757819
>...Why don't we talk a little about your... Naivety?
>...So, you know I'm Renexizious, right?
>>
"So... You know I'm Renexizious, right?"

"Wait, what?"

"Well, I've been monitoring you for a while now... And I must say, we should talk about your naivety."

"Why did you say your name was Flames then?"

"Well, I got possessed... But first, let's talk."

Actions.

>...I can't believe you want a different father then ME. I'm a great father. How could you?
>Am I really that bad of a father?
>You are too nice. Way too nice. So I think I might be life-coaching you a little bit.. Starting now, with this village.
>Pretend your drunk!
>...I really like the fact your so... Friendly.. (Lie.)
>You and I are about to have a serious conversation, young lady. I recommend you listen.
>You don't even EAT people. Let alone terrify, enslave, or CONQUER! How can you even call yourself a dragon!
>I bet you like elves...
>You are giving me a kiss right now, and apologizing for making Flames your father.
>...Come with me. Remember your skaven "friends?" We're dealing with them right now.
>Write-In
>Write-In
>>
>>757871
>You are giving me a kiss right now, and apologizing for making Flames your father.
>Am I really that bad of a father?
>>
"Well, first of all, you are giving me a kiss right now, and apologizing for making Flames your father..."

"No!"

"Well, why not?"

"Because your mean, and I want Flames back!"

"...Am I really that bad of a father that you want someone else?"

"Well, you sound mean, and Flames was cool! And friendly, and nice, an-"

"I got it. But seriously? I'm that bad?"

"Well,,, From what I hear, yeah! I want Flames back!"

Actions.

>...I can be kind too, you know.
>You can play at the hurt feelings game as well...
>...That's it, I'm teaching you how to be a proper dragon... I guess this is how mom feels sometimes...
>You know what? I don't care. Have Flames as your father and a fucking minotaur for your mom if you don't even want to be related to me.
>...Take back the "mean" part or I burn this village to the ground.
>Because you want Flames as your dad, I'm burning this village down, eating it's inhabitants, and the survivors get sold into slavery, just because of you. How does that make you feel?
>...At least stay with me until you meet your mom, ok?
>Calm down, please? Your causing a scene.
>...We're talking outside.
>Guess what? Your grounded. Ha.
>Write-in
>>
>>757916
>You can't really mean that.
>...I can be kind too, you know.
>...At least stay with me until you meet your mom, ok?
>>
"You can't really mean that... But I can be kind too, you know... But at least stay with me until you meet your mom, ok?"

She grunts a little, angrily.

"Please?"

"...Fine... But only for Blondi, ok?"

"Good girl..."

You will show her the light, soon... But for now, you just need to get on her good side...

Actions.

>...Look around. You need to do something kind!
>...Come on, let's get going...
>...Can I have a kiss for being your dad, at the least?
>If you act good, maybe Uncle Flames can visit you.
>If it makes you feel better, I admire your handiwork at your mom's palace.
>...Act better, or I'll tell Elizabeth that you destroyed her palace.
>...Listen, I know you think I'm a bad person, but I'm really not. I'm a... Relatively nice guy.
>Write-In
>>
>>757950
>...Look around. You need to do something kind!
We must find heroic quests to get our daughter to actually not hate us.
>>
>>757950
>If it makes you feel better, I admire your handiwork at your mom's palace.
>>
"If it makes you feel better, I admire your handiwork at your mom's palace."

"Really?"

"Well, yeah."

"...I mean, destroying things are fun..."

Actions

>Yes. Yes it is..
>Drink some alcohol... You'll need it.
>So uh, your hungry, right?
>You know, if you want to, I know plenty of places we could demolish. Together.
>Start asking people for a QUEST!
>...Well, it's time to leave...
>Write-In
>>
>>757981
>Yes. Yes it is..
>Start asking people for a QUEST!
We need to have personal father daughter time before Liz sees her.
>>
"Yes... Yes it is..."

You leave, and decide to find a quest...

Roll me a 1d20 for the quality of the quest!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>758008
Please let it be endgame.
Ren is imba.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>758008
>>
10

You go up to a crying farmer, drinking a copicious amount of ale. So you sit in front of him.

"Hello?"

He cries and drinks more alcohol. Then looks at you.

"T-They took my love!"

Yes! A quest! A somewhat important quest!

"Let me guess, sweetheart of yours?"

The farmer nods his head and cries more, and drinks more.

"Who did?"

"My ex-wife!"

"...What?"

"S-she took my cow, Bessie, mister! How am I supposed to sell cow milk without any cows?!"

Actions.

>...I don't handle martial disputes.
>Unless your wife is a dragon, attractive, or anywhere close to it, no.
>Well... I guess...
>...Hey! One of my best friends is called Bessie as a nickname! YOU COULD OFFEND SOMEONE WITH THAT!
>...Wake up Flames, and ask for the cow's name again. Just to trigger Flames.
>...Sneak away.
>How much do I get paid?
>Who's your ex-wife? And is she attractive?
>ADVENTURE! You will find this cow and deliver it from the evil forces of his ex-wife!
>Write-In
>>
>>758044
>ADVENTURE! You will find this cow and deliver it from the evil forces of his ex-wife!
>>
>>758077
Yes
This is the epic quest we need.
Supporting
But first.
>>758044
>...Wake up Flames, and ask for the cow's name again. Just to trigger Flames.
>>
"I will do this!"

Hey, Flames?

...What?

"What was the cow's name?"

"B-Bessie..."

Roll me a 1d20+6 Gorillion for how triggered Flames is. (Actually just a 1d20+6). Additional +2 Ovens if you can make a joke about his wife.
>>
Rolled 4 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>758095
You know maybe they're actually related. You should have them meet sometime.
>>
Going to allow for samefagging, so long as you can make further jokes to both please me and the Dice Gods.
And trigger Flames.
>>
Rolled 16 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>758119
Wait a minute.
Don't you see.
Chrysoula ran away from the farmer.
That's why she hates being called Bessy.
It reminds her of her past as a dairy cow!
>>
The dice gods are appeased with jokes about Flame's wife.

You know, maybe they're actually related. You should have them meet sometime... But wait a minute, don't you see? Chrysoula ran away from the farmer! That's why she hates being called Bessie or Bessy! It reminds her of her pa-"

SHUT UP!!!

Your body becomes extremely hot, like someone poured gasoline on you and set you on fire. It suddenly fades away, though you note a little bit of... Well, heat.

...Just because Renexizia's here, I'm not going to fuck with you. But when we get home for the next three days, I don't even want you to see my wife...

Or else what?

I will summon Blondi and he will set you on fire. And I'll make sure our fire resistance is lowered during that time... He says, coldly.

Wait, to the point to kill me?

Nah. Just to the point to where our beard catches on fire and burns off.

I love my beard...

You scratch your rather long beard... How could even SUGGEST burning it?

Actions

>...Your bluffing. You'd never set my beard on fire.
>Ok, ok. Geez.
>...Trigger him MORE.
>...Does tumbling your wife with my eyes closed count?
>I can just close my eyes and talk to her, you know.
>...Come on, please? I might need to talk to her or something...
>Does seeing your wife naked count?
>So even looking at your wife will trigger you! Cool!
>...Fine. I won't even let you get a PEEK at Elizabeth's buttock...
>Write-In
>>
>>758164
>So even looking at your wife will trigger you! Cool!
>...Your bluffing. You'd never set my beard on fire.
>>
Wow, so even looking at your wife will trigger you. But your bluffing. You'd never set my beard on fire.

I'm not bluffing!

Ha. Really? This beard? On fire?

...Fine, I was bluffing a little. But if you even peek at her naked, you WILL be set on fire, ok?

His anger is gradually decreasing.. You no longer feel hot anymore.

Actions

>Make a lewd joke. Because fuck it. (Please Write-In.)
>...Are you taking this as a joke now? Huh.
>Don't worry, I'd never look at a cow's ass.
>...Do you think I could do cow tipping to your wife?
>...Quick question, is it just me, or is your wife getting weight?
>Ha! Called it, you pussy.
>...Got it. Going back to real life now.
>...I promise I won't peek. Not even a little. (Lie, because Fuck Flames.)
>Why would I even look at your wife's privates? I'm not attracted to her.
>Write-In
>>
>>758235
>Make a lewd joke. Because fuck it. (Please Write-In.)
I'm not going to peek at her.
I'm going to ride her. All night.

Then go

YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!

If only we had sun glasses
>>
I'm not going to peek at her... I'm going to ride her, all night!

What the fu-

YEAAAH!

..What's with the yeah?

At this point, Flame is merely entertained. Not really triggered.

...Seriously? Can you get triggered?

You wish. You love it when I get angry...

I do.

Actions.

>Return to reality.
>...Well, I'll take that as a invitation to tumble a cow. Thanks for the offer!
>Yeah, she'll love you for white-knighting. You aren't even white. And besides, I bet she looks good naked... Aren't you a little tempted yourself?
>Keep making jokes!
>...Nice to see you can sort of take a joke.
>Yeah, yeah. I'll get you a new wife and I'll trigger you over that.
>Write-In
>>
>>758278
>...Well, I'll take that as a invitation to tumble a cow. Thanks for the offer!
>Return to reality.
Enough playing in our head
>>
Well, I'll take that as an offer to tumble a cow! Thanks!

You return back to reality, and you go up to Renexizia.

"So, I got a job helping a farmer..."

"Doing what?"

Actions.

>...Try to make it more extreme version, like your going to fight aliens or something!
>We're going to get his cow back. Did I mention cows are adorable?
>We're going to get Flame's wife and bring her back to the farm.
>Write-In
>>
>>758295
>We're going to get his cow back. Did I mention cows are adorable?
>>
"Well, we're going to get his cow back from his ex-wife. Did I mention cows are adorable?"

"...What's a cow?"

"Oh, you'll see. You'll see."

You and Renexizia go outside, mount Blondi, and begin searching for his ex-wife's house.
>>
>>758340
Shit, roll me a 1d20+4, sorry.
>>
Rolled 17 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>758351
Rolling to find Chrysoula's sister.
>>
Rolled 9 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>758351
>>
17+4=21

Great Success!

After some searching, you find Chrysoula's sister eating grass outside of a small cottage... At night, too... If you chose to, you could sneak u-

"It's kinda cute. What is it doing?"

"Eating grass."

"Cool! I'm gonna go pet it!"

"Right... I'm going to go and try to bu-"

You notice at this point, that a second cow walks out from around the cottage... A bull.

She jumps over the fence, and you try to grab her to pull her back, so the bull doesn't wreck her shit!

Roll me a 1d20+4 to save your daughter from a bull.
>>
Rolled 15 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>758391
Little girl<Bull.
This is not good.
>>
15+4=19

Good Success!

You grab your daughter, who struggles a little. You pull her behind the fence, and look at her.

"See that cow? That is a bull. That bull is a trained killer, and will WRECK YOUR SHIT."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Now, don't rush over to that cow."

"Come on, it doesn't seem so mean. I bet it's a softie at heart..."

Actions.

>...Do it in your dragon form, at the least...
>No, you'll get murdered! Stay back, please!
>...I'll come with you, ok?
>Let's just buy the cow. You can pet the cow once we leave, ok?
>Write-In
>>
>>758409
>...Do it in your dragon form, at the least...
>...I'll come with you, ok?
We can't let our daughter get hurt before she meets Liz
>>
"Do it in your dragon form... At the least. I'll come with you though, ok?"

"Sure! Come on!'

Roll me a 1d20+6, additional +2 if you can threaten the bull, or give her inspiration to be adorable.
>>
Rolled 8 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>758436
>If you touch my daughter I'll turn you into burger meat.
>>
Rolled 11 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>758436
>>
11+8=19

Success!

You stomp over to the bull, in your dragon form. You lower your head, staring into the bull's eye.

"If you do so much as touch my daughter, I will turn you into burger meat, understand?"

The bull seems... Well, pacified, and your daughter comes over and begins to pet the bull... Who is not pleased about it. However, your daughter seems happy...

Roll me a 1d20+5. Additional +2 if you can do anything threatening to the bull.
>>
Rolled 7 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>758482
>>
Rolled 5 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>758482
>You better behave or else.
Start shifting into dragon blooded form.
>>
7+5=12

Failure!

The bull has enough of it, and charges your daughter in the foot, hurting her!

"Ow!" She says...

Roll me a 1d20 to see if this is severe or minor.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>758544
Well he's food now.
>>
18

It seems the bull just glances off of her. She of course, thinks it's just the bull playing around, and continues to pet it. It is clearly infuriated...

You however, are furious that this bull tried to assault YOUR DAUGHTER.

Actions.

>...Grab him. You have something in mind.
>...You will terrify him into subservience. Or else...
>Let your daughter handle it.
>Step on it.
>...Tell Blondi to eat the bull if he tries anything else.
>Flames, can you make us a few steaks?
>Ask your daughter if she's hungry... She needs to learn how to take a life.
>Write-In
>>
>>758577
>...You will terrify him into subservience. Or else...
It's lucky she is averse to killing. Or we would kill it so ded.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4 to terrify it. Additional +3 if you can do anything terrifying or threaten it.
>>
Rolled 7 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>758622
Start shifting to half dragon form.
And roar.
Stealth be damned.
>>
7+7=14

Failure!

You start shifting to your half-dragon form, and let out a roar... The light inside goes on, And the bull... Charges you.

Shit. You did not think this through.

Roll me a 1d20-4 to see if you can dodge!
>>
Rolled 18 - 4 (1d20 - 4)

>>758656
DODGE!
>>
18-4=14

Borderline Success!

You roll out of the way, and the furious bull prepares to charge towards YOU again... But your daughter jumps towards it, and holds it down...

"Ha! Got you!"

You sigh, the threat being pacified. For now, at least...

Actions

>...Tell her to smush it.
>...Tell her to throw it as far as she can.
>Tell her to wait here, and DON'T DO ANYTHING.
>...Tell her that it probably is tasty or something.
>You should probably shift to your human form and ask about the cow!
>...Rush to the regular cow, grab it, and try to high-tail it out of there!
>...Shapeshift to your dragon form, and ask to see the enraged bull.
>Write-In
>>
>>758697
>...Tell her that it probably is tasty or something.
>...Rush to the regular cow, grab it, and try to high-tail it out of there!

She better eat fast.
>>
"Hey, you know that cow's taste good, right?"

"I'm not gonna eat it, I can make it into a-"

You rush off, and grab the regular cow, and begin to run for it. She follows suit, grabbing onto the bull like an angry (and tasty) football. After a little bit, you get away from the ex-wife's cottage, and take a deep breath.

"Well, I think we did it."

"And the bull was perfectly fine! Isn't that right, Bullo?"

The bull headbutts her in the thumb.

"Ow! Stop it, that's not very nice..."

"I thought I told you to eat that?"

"I wouldn't eat a friend! Or Bullo!"

Actions.

>...Sigh, and just head back to the farmer.
>...Can I see the bull for a second? Give it to me, in dragon form.
>Eat it, damn it. It tastes great.
>Your a dragon. We eat cows all the time.
>...Just let it go, ok? Put it back in the wilds and let it just fuck off or something.
>...It clearly DOES NOT want to be your friend. Just kill it damn it...
>Write-In
>>
>>758732
>It's a bull they're turned into food all the time. Like hamburgers.
>They taste really good
>>
>>758732
>...Sigh, and just head back to the farmer.
>Try to convince the bull to stop hitting you.
>>
"Come on, it's a bull. They're turned into food all the time. Like hamburgers. They taste really good..."

"But he's a friend!"

"He tastes REALLY good."

Roll me a 1d20-3 to see see if she's convinced. Additional +3 if you can give her reasons on why to eat the bull.
>>
>>758744
Don't crush her spirit, anon. Not so soon.
>>
Rolled 18 - 3 (1d20 - 3)

>>758749
>If you're not going to eat him, at least convince him to stop hitting you. You could get seriously hurt!
>>
18-3=15

Minor Success!

"If you aren't going to eat him, at least convince him to stop hitting you. You could get seriously hurt.

She leans down to the bull.

"Can you stop hitting me, please?"

Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if this has any effect.

I have no idea if anons want Renexizia to remain innocent as she is right now, or turn her into a bloodthirsty dragon of nomming
>>
Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>758776
Innocent animal whisperer who noms on objects that shouldn't be nommed.
>>
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>758776
Remove enough innocence that she's down to kill wild animals and non sentient creatures.

Sill want her to be optimistic and good natured though.
>>
>>758785
Noms on objects that shouldn't be nommed?
Great, now I'm curious. Like what?

12+2=14

Failure!

She doesn't seem to connect. But it slightly reduces it's attacks, and eventually she sets it down. The bull runs off.

"I don't know why you want to hurt innocent creatures... That's kind of mean."

"It was attacking you..."

"I was fine, ok?"

Actions.

>...Can you shift down at least? So we don't startle any humans?
>Come on, you'll get yourself killed one of these days.
>You women, thinking everything is adorable...
>If something attacks you, it's alright to kill it.
>Sorry, but it just seemed like the easiest way.
>If you weren't going to eat it, I would of...
>Always finish your meals! You didn't even take a bite!
>Write-In
>>
>>758803
>Innocent just means it doesn't know right from wrong. Doesn't mean it doesn't do bad things or doesn't hurt people. And it's a wild animal it's okay to eat them if you aren't cruel about it and feel hungry.
>>
"Just because innocence just means it doesn't know right from wrong doesn't mean it doesn't do bad things or doesn't hurt people. And it's ok to eat wild animals, if you aren't cruel about it and feel hungry."

"I can just eat a tree or something... Meat might taste better, but I can eat anything! Rawr!"

You let out a sigh.

Actions

>We should really stop talking about eating cows. We might trigger Flames.
>Come on, let's get going.
>...I can't wait until you get older and less moralistic...
>Sure, but doesn't meat taste a hell of a lot better then dirt?
>...You know every second your basically eating tons of oxygen cells simply by breathing?
>Write-in
>>
>>758873
>...You know every second your basically eating tons of oxygen cells simply by breathing?
>Also things tend to die eventually it's life. And it's unhealthy for you not to eat meat anyways. And what are you going to do about wild animals eating other wild animals?
>>
"You know, every second your basically eating tons of oxygen cells just by breathing?"

"Wait, really?"

"Erh, yeah."

"...I don't think they're alive..."

"Well, yeah. But things tend to die eventually. It's life. And it's unhealthy for you not to eat meat anyways... And what are you going to do about wild animals eating other wild animals?"

"Stop them of course! And give them a big hug!" She says naively.

"...Grh..."

"Besides, I'm ok with eating meat, it's tasty! I just don't like eating things that are alive..."

"So if I went and killed that bull, you'd eat it?"

"That's my friend! And that's gross! I mean, it has eyes and... Ew!"

Actions.

>...Sons are way easier to deal with, God...
>Come on, it's not that bad.
>I'll be right back.
>Let's just get going, we've argued long enough.
>I'll hold you to it then.
>Would you eat a human at the least?
>...Not everything can be made friends with! Why can't you understand this?
>Write-In
>>
>>758919
>You do realize some animals can only live by eating others? Would you let an animal starve to death because you don't want it to hurt anything. If anything that's crueler than eating an animal. That's just torture.
>>
"You do realize animals can only live by eating others? Would you let an animal starve to death because you don't want to hurt it or anything? If anything that's crueler then eating an animal, that's torture!"

"I mean... Erh... Well... I would be able to find food for it! Come on, there's tons of warehouses back home!"

"What about here?"

"Well, I bet I could find something! You always assume the worst case scenario, don't you? Come on, let's get back to that farmer!"

The cow moos loudly, and you realize your claws were slightly pressing into it. Oops.

Actions.

>Fine, fine... I got it.
>...You are way too innocent for your own good.
>You remind me of Maria when she went through her vegetarian phase... She grew out of it, though. I hope you will too.
>Are you serious? What if you can't find any food at all?
>Write-in
>>
>>758952
>So your basically going to shuffle a animal back and forth between the wild and warehouses just to feed it? And that's only one animal. There are billions. Better yet trillions. You literally cannot feed them all. Things have to die eventually. It's the way of nature.
>>
"So your basically going to shuffle a animal back and forth between the wild and warehouses just to feed it? And that's only one animal. There are billions. Better yet trillions. You literally cannot feed them all. Things have to die eventually. It's the way of nature."

"Well... I'll find a way then! I'll show you!"

"How?"

"One day, I'll find a way to stop it, and you'll regret ever saying that to me!"

"You'll stop nature some day?"

"I'll try!"

Oh boy, good fucking job. Now our kid is determined to stop nature. This is how necromancers are born, you know.

Hey, it's a family tradition to at least be trained in it...

But no one knows HOW t-

You return to reality, and notice your daughter is angrily stomping off.
Great. You made your daughter angry enough to run off.

You know, maybe it's because your trying to do a rational argument to a two-year old child?

Grrh...

Actions.

>She'll come back when she's not angry at you... Wait where you are.
>...Why oh why did I ever have another kid?
>I think I might of ruined our bonding. Great.
>...This is why I don't like bringing kids on my vacations.
>Go after her!
>...Fuck it, you'll just make her jealous she isn't playing with Blondi by playing with him!
>Write-In
>>
>>758993
I said two-year. I meant "moral equivalent of a two-year old child"
>>
>>758993
>...This is why I don't like bringing kids on my vacations.
>Go after her!
>>
This is why I don't like taking my kids on vacation... Too much stress...

You begin to rush after her!

Roll me a 1d20+3 to find her, additional +2 if you can yell anything to convince her to come back!
>>
Rolled 7 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>759007
>You do realize that only I know where your mother is right?
>>
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>759007
I can teach you how to stop nature (necromancy)
>>
12+3=15

Minor Failure!

"You do realize that only I know where your mother is, right?"

Wherever she is, she doesn't respond...You can however, follow the trail...

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can find her!
>>
Rolled 16 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>759084
Rollan
>>
16+4=20

Success!

You eventually find her again... This time in the middle of the forest. She doesn't seem to notice you though, and she seems to be trying to find the directions to Mousilion...

Actions

>...Sneak up on her.
>...So, trying to run from your old man, eh?
>Dragon shapeshift.
>...Listen, I'm sorry about talking to you about such a sensitive matter. Can we get going now?
>You know what? Let her find it on her own. Your going back.
>Write-In
>>
>>759102
>Sigh
>...Listen, I'm sorry about talking to you about such a sensitive matter. Can we get going now?
>>
You sigh, alarming her to your presence.

"Listen, I'm sorry to you about talking about such a sensitive matter. Can we get going now?"

"I guess..."

You head back with the farmer's cow...
And that's where I'm ending it for tonight anons, sorry.
>>
>>759109
That's fine.
I need to rest soon anyways.
>>
File: illuminati.jpg (145 KB, 1279x634)
145 KB
145 KB JPG
wake_me_up_inside.jpg
Also good night and sorry for my shoddy participation
>>
>>759193
it's fine, but what the fuck is with Korea? Seriously? It went full-blown SJW.
North Korea is truly the only true Korea. Because Korea can only shift between extremes apparently.

You deliver the farmer's cow, and continue on the road... After a little while... You sort of notice something. Your on the same road you met Marshal at... Slightly curious, you continue on to find the house Marshal lives in, and see some smoke coming from it, along with a well-tended field, and... A rather fancy well! Not to mention as you pass by, the roof has been repaired with slightly fresh lumber, and it seems rather well-to-do, for being so far from a village... Some smoke even comes out of the roof's chimney...

"What are you looking at?"

Actions

>...Could we stop here? I sort of want to visit a friend of mine.
>Just looking at the home of one of the greatest marksmen to ever live...
>Erh, nothing...
>...Write-in
>>
>>759356
>...Could we stop here? I sort of want to visit a friend of mine.
>See! I have friends!
I actually going to sleep now. See you tomorrow afternoon
>>
>>759378
This. Also heading to bed so I'm not late for college.
>>
"Well first of all... Ha! I have friends! Who we're visiting for a minute."

"Well, ok then."

The two of you go up to the small cottage, and you knock... And Marshal's wife answers.

"Hello?"

"Hi! Is Marshal here?"

"Pardon me, but you are his friend Renexizious, no?"

"...Well, yes. And the dragon who saved his life."

"I remember, monsieur... Marshal signed up as an archer a fortnight ago to serve Bretonnia. I haven't heard from him since."

"Are you saying he signed up?"

"Yes? What else would I be saying?"

"Oh... Well... Do you know where he was stationed?"

She shrugs her shoulders.

"I do not know."

"I see..."

Actions.

>...You do know Bretonnia is about to lose the war, right?
>He'll be back before you know it, don't worry.
>Why would anyone defend this sorry excuse for a nation?
>...Could me and my daughter step inside?
>...Is it lonely without your husband?
>I uh, may of caused the Bretonnians to lose.
>Write-In
>>
>>759553
>...You do know Bretonnia is about to lose the war, right?
>...Is it lonely without your husband?
>>
[red]"You do know Bretonnia is about to lose the war, right?"[/red]

"No... I haven't heard anything up north for a while now, since the roads were cut off by bandits and marauders."

[red]"Oh."[/red]

"I hope he's alright..."

[red]"Just curious... Is it lonely without your husband?"[/red]

"Well, yes. Why do you ask?"

Actions

>...Well, I mean, you live fairly far from civilization. Do you need anything?
>Could we come inside? It's rather cold out...
>He'll be fine, I'm sure of it.
>...Maybe Marshal won't mind if you try a little flattery of his wife... He is away, after all...
>Well, if Marshal comes back, could you tell him I said hi?
>...First, Renexizia, introduce yourself.
>Write-In
>>
Bumping a little bit anons.
>>
>>759667
>...Well, I mean, you live fairly far from civilization. Do you need anything?
>If all goes well, we're going to end this war without any further losses.

We got sidetr