This is amazing, you think to yourself. You’re finally getting a chance to go raiding, to turn your family’s luck around. Ever since your father was maimed, your mother taken by illness, and your brother lost as sea, you’d figured that was about it for you. Luckily, as serious as luck is, it can be easily denied by (almost) single-handedly killing a frost giant. Three gnarly gashes across your chest is a small price to pay for a shot at fortune and glory.Your brief internal monologue is interrupted by your father, Sven.“And he’ll have some fuckin’ rules for you, too,” he says in that fast way of speech he falls into when he’s worried. “And those’re straight from me, so you follow them to the fucking letter, you hear?”You give a sort of non-committal grunt. He’s not looking for an answer, he just wants to let you know what he’s thinking.“Now, I’m heading out to the fields. Try not to slay Jormungand, or slay Fenrir while I’m not looking.” He waves you off with his mangled hand, and walks out to the fields. He always went out there when he was upset and wanted to be alone.But, the day is still somewhat young. The sun isn’t quite setting yet, so you’ll have a few hours to kill.>Go find Knut. He’ll want to know someone will take you raiding.>Find Anders. You’ll need some advice if you’re going with Bjorn>Find Erik. If anyone will keep you grounded, it’s that kid.>Head to the mead hall. You could use a bit of ego-nurturing.>The sooner you sleep, the sooner you wake up. That means the sooner you go see Big Bjorn.>Write-in
Welcome to Norseman Saga! You're the young norse boy Haskell Svenson, itching to make your mark on the world. Here's some important info.Quest Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=Norseman+SagaCharacter sheet: http://pastebin.com/3YQyKhpVHandler's Twitter: https://twitter.com/ContractorQM
>>691281>>Find Anders. You’ll need some advice if you’re going with Bjorn
>>691281>Go find Knut. He’ll want to know someone will take you raiding.
>>691281>>Go find Knut. He’ll want to know someone will take you raiding.I'm ready to bathe in the blood of christens
>>691281>Find Anders. You’ll need some advice if you’re going with BjornLike how not to be a dead meat shield.
Votes are in. Writing
>>691281>Find Anders. You’ll need some advice if you’re going with Bjorn
Knut will want to know. Besides, you kind of want to tell someone, and Knut is going to crazy now that he can finally see the world. It feels good having that weight of keeping him here off your shoulders, even if it was his own choice.You nearly sprint up to Olaf’s house, and don’t even knock as you enter. You find him at the table, poring over a book. He looks to you, surprised.“Didn’t you just leave?” he asks of you in his almost sleepy tone.“About an hour ago, Knut. Besides, didn’t you hear Bow Bjorns horn?”“Guess not,” he replies slowly, as his eyes drift down to your shirt. “Is that what this is all about?”You look down too, your hands instinctively grabbing the bottom of the shirt. Looks like in all your excitement, you bleed through both it and your bandages. Geira will not be impressed. “Uh, yeah,” you say. “Accidentally corned a frost giant. Had to fight it. Big Bjorn saw. He wants to take me raiding.”His eyes get wide, and he slowly stands from the table. “You’re serious? We get to go out?”“Well, you’ve always had the opt-” is as far as you get before Knut is pulling you out the door by your wrist.“We should find Anders. He’ll have some things to tell us, I’m sure!”And before you know it, you’re outside. You should probably think of where to look for Anders. Knut wouldn’t have thought that far ahead.>His house seems most likely>No it doesn’t. Go to the mead hall.>Go to the blacksmith, he’s probably looking at swords he can’t afford>Also, ask Knut any questions, or tell him anything you’d like as a write-in
>>691446>Go to the blacksmith, he’s probably looking at swords he can’t afford
>>691446I always forget Knut. Poor Knut.
>>691446>>No it doesn’t. Go to the mead hall.
>>691446>>Go to the blacksmith, he’s probably looking at swords he can’t affordI wish we had the dosh for a real axe
All the christens will laugh at us and our tiny hatchet
>>691462We aren't strong enough to wield a real axe+shield yet
>>691467>>691467Yes we can, we just couldn't wield a woods axe and shield seeing as those are 2 handed
Qm will we get bonuses based on which God we pick as our main god?
>>691467This kind of axe we could
>>691474Um. Not really, for story reasons that will make sense later.
>>691481Will we get a choice to decide which god we consider our patron god?
>>691490Eventually, in a way. I can't really give you a straight answer without risking spoilersCalling the vote in 5 minutes since two or three people posted without voting. Giving them a chance.
>>691446>>Go to the blacksmith, he’s probably looking at swords he can’t afford
Votes called. Writing. Did we want to talk to Knut about anything?
>>691532"I know i never really asked, but why always wait for me to raid with you, why not go on your own like you have had the chance to before?"
You get about thirty seconds away from the house before Knut stops in his tracks.“Where..” he begins, trailing off as he begins to think.“Goti’s.”“The blacksmith!” he shouts before pulling you along again, barely able to keep up with the lanky, long-limbed bookworm.“Knut, slow down,” you say. He either doesn’t hear you, or doesn’t listen, and you need to dig your heels in to curb his enthusiasm. “Knut. If you were this excited to go,” you say, guilt creeping into your heart, “Why did you wait for me? Why not go on your own?”He stops, and turns to face you. He crosses his arms in front of his chest, letting your hand fall to your side. “We always did everything together, Haskell. All of it, for as long as I can remember. I wanted to do this together, too. It wouldn’t have felt right, experiencing it all without you there.”Before you can do so much as respond, he grabs your wrist, and you’re off again. You’re at the blacksmith’s before you know it, almost bursting in the door, panting from the run over. You were right, and Anders was there, oogling over a sword he was years away from being able to pay for.He looks the two of you up and down, taking in your blood soaked shirt. “Odin’s fucking beard, Haskell!”, he says, unable to look away from the crimson of your torso. “What the hell happened to you?!”“I’ll tell you what happened,” a shrill voice comes from the other end of the show room. Looking over, it’s Geira, doing a check on Goti’s head once more. “The young fool took a frost giant all by his lonesome, and got himself gored doing it. And now, I bet he was foolish once more, and broke his scabs and bandages open, is that right?” she says, without ever looking away from the blacksmith’s bruised skull.Anders merely looks at you, mouth agape in shock, as if to say ‘Is she telling the truth?”>Play it up>Tone it down>Tell it as it happened>Write-in
>>691622>Play it upIt was nothing really.
>>691622>Tone it down
>>691622>>Tell it as it happenedIt's impressive as is
>>691622>Make bad puns the entire time
>>691622>>Tell it as it happened
>>691622>>Tell it as it happenedLets not be humble homos at least
>>691648Right back at you
>>691622Who is this guy again ??
>>691665Anders, Goti, or Geira?Anders is a childhood friend you met in the tavern before going to Olaf's to workGoti is the blacksmith who got a concussion fighting the frost giants. You met him Geira's, who is the town healer while you got your cuts treated
>>691674>>691674Nah anders. I forgot
>>691681It was just one post. Looks like we want to tell it straight. Writing.
You give a small shrug. “I was running towards the town center after Bow Bjorn blew the alarm. I came across one that had been separated and wounded, and it charged me. Got me a few times, but I ended up on top.”“That’s awesome, Haskell,” he says in near amazement. “Killing a frost giant, even a wounded one… Who knew you had it in you? Uh, no offense, I mean.”“None taken,” you say, waving off the worries of the young man. “Big Bjorn watched the whole thing. Didn’t help, of course, but did offer to take me raiding.”His face lights up, and he rushes up the last few feet up to you and Knut, forming a small circle. “You’re really going out this year,” he asks, looking between the two of you. “Both of you?”“Yeah,” you say, our own smile growing to match the contagions Anders. “Knut’s always had the option, he was just waiting for me.”“That’s fantastic,” Anders says, pulling you in for a hug, getting your blood on his own clothes. He didn’t seem to care. “Where’s he sending you? When?”“I don’t know any of that, yet,” you say, returning the hug. “I’m going to see him in the morning, I guess we’re gonna go over it all.”“Fantastic. Come find me the moment you’re done with him. I’ll want to go with you guys, no matter where. I’ll twist Erik’s arm into it, too. Until then, though, we should celebrate! Let’s head over to Half-Handed Haki’s, get some mead in us!”>Let’s go! I could use some celebration>I don’t want to be tired for my meeting with Bjorn tomorrow>Write-in
>>691775>Let’s go! I could use some celebration
>>691775>>Let’s go! I could use some celebrationDO IT, WHAT KIND OF PUSSY WOULD SAY NO
>>691775>>Let’s go! I could use some celebration
>>691775>>Let’s go! I could use some celebrationWork hard play hard by odin!
Mead and Axes. What else could a viking ask for? Writing.
“Of course,” you say, twisting so the hug turns into having an arm over his shoulder. “Lead the way,” you order, your free hand gesturing towards the door.The three of you begin filing out, when you hear an ‘Ah, ah ah!” come from behind you. Turning, you find Geira there, bandages in hand. Where she pulled them from, you don’t know. She sits you down and reapplies them quickly, before shooing you away.“And don’t you tear those open again,” she yells after you from Goti’s as you leave.On the way to the mead hall, you give Knut and Anders a more in-depth account of your fight with the frost giant, with stylized actions to go along. You enter the door’s of Haki’s mead hall, and take a seat. Anders offers to buy the first set, and sets three coins down on the table. Half-Handed Haki grumpily drops three mugs on the table, and the three of you take long draughts. As you finish the drink, Anders turns to you and Knut. “So, where are you two hoping you’ll get sent first?“I’m not really picky,” Knut says. “If I wanted the money, I’d just take over the trading post from dad. This is about exploring for me.”Anders shrugs, as if that’s as good an answer as any. “And what about you, Haskell? Where do you want to go?”>Reply to Anders
>>691907>Anglaland, plenty of attractive women and rich towns to plunder
>>691907>>Reply to AndersEngland
>>691907England, at least there I can understand their wails and curses
qm what year are we playing in?
>>691968About 915ish, roughly 100 years after the death of Charlemagne. That's not terribly important, though, as we'll most likely be diverting from 'real world' history.Also, votes are in. Writing.
>>691999Cool then we can still kill Grendel, also nice trips
>>692007>implying you could ever possibly beat big dick Beowulf to the punch
“I’m hoping for England,” you say, as you feel your lips curl into a grin. “Prettier women, richer towns, and I’ll be able to understand their shrieks and shouts.”“England’s a good one,” Anders replies, “but France has the prettier women, I think.”“Well,” Knut says, raising his mug, “let’s just take some from all over, and we can decide when we think we have enough!”The two of you raise your own glasses to meet his, and together you finish the drinks, and Knut near immediately slams three more coins down on the rough wooden table. The hall isn’t terribly busy, so the grumpy Haki brings over more mugs, taking the empty ones and the coins with him.“So,” Knut says as he finishes a long drink of his mead, “Any tips for fresh raiders?”Anders sets his own mug down, and thinks for a moment. “Speed kills,” he begins, looking between the two of you. “If you can be one thing, be fast. You need to be done and gone before any help shows up. Secondly, Raidmaster’s word is law. Doesn’t matter if it’s Big Bjorn or someone he assigns. Everyone doing the same thing at the same time is what makes shit run smoothly, and therefore, fast,” he finishes, and takes another quick drink. “Any other questions?>Any questions for Anders about raiding?
>>692062Upon further investigation Beowulf takes place in the 6th century.
>>692080I got nothing, except for the question of how tall are we?
>>692080Got any tips for where they hide the best loot?
>>692092Under their daughter's dresses
>>692087With the Huge body type, you're about 6'6 and 250 lbs in freedom units. Knut, with the Long-Limbed body type, is a little taller, but about 50-60 pounds lighter. Anders with the Athletic body type is about 5'10 and 180.
>>692092Churches. Always have gold shit in them.
“Where do they keep their best stuff,” you ask? It is a business venture, after all. “Depends on where,” Anders replies, thinking. “English and French keep their shit in churches, generally beneath an altar. Like we haven’t found shit underneath there, before. Slavs usually bury their stuff, or hide it in walls. The Irish will just leave it right there on the floor, and fight you to the death for it. Ballsy, if not very bright. That’s all the places I’ve been, at least.”You nod, and take another drink, and turn to speak to Knut when someone sits next to you. You turn to face them, and see the slightly unwelcome face of Svala seated beside you. Probably the fiercest shield maiden for a hundred miles in any direction, and the youngest woman for Big Bjorn to ever take on a raid.“Heard you killed a frost giant,” she says, her pretty face forming that wicked smile she wears so easily. "Also heard Bjorn's taking you out raiding in a few weeks." Well, at least it wasn’t a backhanded compliment.>Reply to Svala
>>692232"Yeah and I heard youre only here from sucking bjorns cock for a chance to raid"
>>692232True, I'm ready the bloody my axe and bring glory to my name.>>692253This is how we die, she isn't even being a bitch
>>692232>Damn straight, gotta show those heathens the might of Odin
>>692232Yeah he liked what he saw and I get to show my metal.
>>692277It's funny because axe heads are metal and you probably meant mettle.
>>692295My phone decided I was wrong and I didn't check it in time
>>692232"That's right, on both counts. Any advice to your junior in raiding?"
>>692312I don't think she wants to advise us of shit. Weakness should not be shown to this stone cold bitch
>>692322>yfw she actually just has a bullying fetish and Haskell is a juicy target for being both huge but not particularly high in the social hierarchy
>>692337>"G-Guy's seriously s-stop bullying me. I'll grow into my figure."
>>692322Never show weakness to any viking ever
>>692337>Mfw being bullied is our fetish
>>692372>Not slaughtering the weak and raping womenShit viking desu
>>692380>Not being able to both pillage and be bulliedIn you go
>>692387>Wanting our viking to get off on being weakOdin is disgusted with you anon
Thread 1: PunsThread 2: Fetish shitYou guys are killing me. Writing after doing gay married guy shit. Looks like we want to play it straight.
>>692110>6'6 and 250 lbsBit smaller than I was imagining. We can still git a bit more swole though I suppose.>>692232>Irishhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norse%E2%80%93GaelsJust sayin'>>692372I'll not be having any of that faggy shit
>>692409I'm more of a Freyr kind of guy
>>692424Come on I'm just joshing.
>>692425Odin for life motherfucker Tyr or Baldr are also acceptable
>>692424I toned it down a bit, because I'm from an area of strong Nordic genes. 6'6 is unusual, but by no means a giant around here. I was in my teens when I found out 'average' wasn't six foot . Didn't want to overblow it with my biased sample base.
>>692429Bringing up fetish stuff in quests is no laughing matter, one guy makes a joke a couple fuckers run with it and ruin everything.>>692438Eh, I was just imagining a bit closer to 7' is all, nothing ridiculous. Bout like some of the bigger strongman competitors, we can always go about getting stronger I suppose?https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orm_StorolfssonWho we should aspire to be
“True on both counts,” you say, doing your damnedest not to give her any ammunition against you. “Finally ready to sharpen an axe, and show some of Odin’s glory to the world.”“Well said,” she answers, taking a swig from the mug she brought over. “Gotta be honest, I was expecting you to take up farming and be done with it.”“Guess Big Bjorn was impressed by the fight I had with the giant. I think he watched the whole thing. Came up to me after, yelled at my father for a bit, and here we are. I meet with him to discuss details in the morning.”“Lucky you,” she says as she rises from the seats. “Try not to get yourself killed. A little bit of practice, you might finally be of some use to the raiders.” With that, she leaves you.“Ah,” Knut says when she’s out of earshot, “I was wondering when she would get to that.”“Get to what,” Anders asks, leaning in closer to Knut.“Insulting him,” the tall man answers as he raises his mug to his lips, and looks sadly into it when he finds it empty. Looking into your own, you find yours to be dry as well.>It should be your turn. Pay for a fresh round of drinks. (-3 coins)>Start a new conversation>Head home for the night>Write-in
>>692487>Head home for the nightI think being drunk on our first day would not set a good example.
>>692487>Challenge your buddies to a game of darts with throwing axes. Go out back if we have to
>>692487>>Head home for the nightNeed to be bright for tomorrow, throw down to coins tho
>>692487>>Head home for the night
>>692499Having a little practice at throwing axes sounds funI'll back this
>>692487>>It should be your turn. Pay for a fresh round of drinks. (-3 coins)Both guys payed for a round, the leaat we could do is pay the round back. Even if we don't drink.Let's not lose the respect of the boys, cmon everybody start changing votes
>>692533Sure, No reason we can't buy a round before throwing axes at a tree
>>692533I'd vote paying and then leaving
Secondary vote because of write-ins>Go home>Go home but leave enough for two drinks (-2 coins)>Pay for a fresh round, stay>Challenge Anders and Knut to a round of axe throwingVote from this post, please
>>692543>>Challenge Anders and Knut to a round of axe throwing
>>692543>>Challenge Anders and Knut to a round of axe throwing>Pay for a fresh round, stayThis will be a good chance to work on our axe skills anons
>>692543>Go home but leave enough for two drinks (-2 coins)If the axe trowing one wins I say we still pay for their drinks
>>692561Add axe trowing to mine
Should we really be throwing axes with a torn up chest?
>>692571Should we really be not paying for a round for the mates after they payed for us?Have you guys ever gone out drinking?
>>692543>Challenge Anders and Knut to a round of axe throwing
>>692577I just added axe trowing to try to win over sim ply going home without paying
Okay. So, I think you guys don't really know how a secondary vote works, but we're going forward with it.Looks like Axe throwing and leaving are tied. I'm going to go with the axe throwing here, because going home is obviously always an option, whereas the competition won't always be. That fair?
>>692596Sounds good, lets just make sure to pay for another round too. We're going raiding so we should be getting more gold soon
>>692596Don't care sooner you write sooner we get to stuff I actually want to see
Alrighty, hit me with those 3d10's
Rolled 3, 3, 7 = 13 (3d10)>>692619Time to prove we're the best axe thrower ever
Rolled 8, 8, 9 = 25 (3d10)>>692619
Rolled 6, 3, 4 = 13 (3d10)>>692619
Rolled 9, 2, 3 = 14 (3d10)>>692619
Rolled 3, 6, 10 = 19 (3d10)>>692619
Rolled 7, 2, 2, 3, 3, 10 = 27 (6d10)Anders and Knut, in that order. Their body types give them both a minor bonus to throwing.
>>692638Looks like we cleaned up
“Well, fuck her,” you say, rising a from your seat, your head a little swimmy from the drink. “If she’s offering,” Anders says quietly under his breath as he watches her walk away, earning a snort from Knut.“Hey, we’re mad at her right now,” you say to Anders, snapping his head back into the conversation. “Let’s get one more drink, then go throw some axes around for a while. Winner gets a free, warningless punch on the two losers. Deal?”That elicits quite the reaction from Anders, who’s always open to any competition, and a smile from Knut, who is always looking for a reason to punch Anders.You buy another round, putting three coins on the table and quickly chugging the mugs before leaving. You find a nice, wide tree, and carve a rough X into it with your seax.You measure out fifteen paces from the tree, and the other two meet you there.“Anders bought first, so Anders throws first,” you say slightly drunkenly as you hand him your hatchet from your belt. He lines up his throw, and in his drunkeness, barely hits the tree. It does stick squarely, though, far off to one side, about a foot and a half from the mark. Knut walks up and pulls it out, carving an A into the tree next to the wound in the bark.“Either way, this is going to hurt,” Anders says, already bemoaning his loss. He’s a bit of a sore loser, especially when losing means getting punched unaware.Knut takes his time aiming his throw, as he does in nearly everything. He lets the axe fly, and it smacks into the tree about halfway between Anders’s mark and the center of the X. He walks up to pull it out, carving a K in next to it. He hands it to you, along with a comment about ‘having to get pretty close’.You line up you shot, and snap your wrist just as you release, giving it a perfect flight path. It lands about two inches above the mark, the clear winner. “Can’t wait to cash in on these,” you boast to the other two, already rubbing their jaws in an expectation of pain. “Better keep on your toes.”With that, you say your goodbyes to your friends, and head back to your own home for the night, laying down in your bed gingerly as to not upset the wounds. You drift into sleep, and have that old, familiar dream. Always the same, but for the man you saw last night. He’s a bit closer now, at the edge of the village, rather than the beach with his feet in the water. His face is obscured by long, gray hair, and just as last time, he disappears as a cheering shield blocks him from view.1/2
You wake in the morning, your chest tender, but not bleeding. You rise out of bed carefully to not crack the scabs, and get dressed for the day. Looking at the wall, where you leaned the axe and the shield before going to bed. Should you bring them to Big Bjorn’s? On the one hand, you’ll be discussing raiding. Not like they won’t come up. On the other, it’s not like you’re actually GOING raiding, so who knows?>Bring the axe and the shield>Go unarmed
>>692677>>Bring the axe and the shieldBetter to have and not need then need and not have
>>692677>>Bring the axe and the shieldWhat's he going to say "oh how rude of you"
>>692686Even worse>That shield does not go with that axe. And that Seaxe is so last season
>>692677>Bring the axe and the shield
Alright folks, I'm gonna get some sleep, but I have the day off tomorrow, so I'll post around 10 am central and see if we have readers. If we do, I'll pick up with this story post, if we don't, I'll try again around 7 pm.Thanks for playing, and I always love questions and criticism. Sleep tight, guys.
>>692705>10 am centralWohoo! Fits my time zone!Thanks for writing, reading now :).
Pure story text of Norseman Saga 1-2 (partly): http://pastebin.com/j69KbPGY
>>693251This is awesome, anon. I love it. Going to do a roll call here in about an hour and a half
Alright. Roll call. We got enough around, we'll pick up where we left off last night
>>693393Me, me! I'm here for more blood-letting and shield maidens!
>>693393Here, at least for a couple hours.
>>693393Ready to rape
Quick errand popped up, but I should be able to start writing in half an hour or so
You shrug, and sling the shield over your back and stick the axe handle in your belt. He may want to see what you’re comfortable with, or what you’re capable of. You leave the house, still early enough for your father to be asleep. Though, with finishing up planting, there isn’t a whole lot for him to be awake for. You walk the short distance into the village proper, and cross it to find Big Bjorn’s. It’s not too hard, being as it’s the largest house in town, with a number of smaller outbuildings for various thralls and servants, and even a few that serve as an armory and a small butchery. Bjorn is a rich man.You pound on the massive door, and wait for an answer. Big Bjorn himself answers it, and absolutely fills the doorway. “Come with me, Haskell. We’ve got some things to discuss,” he says, taking you by the shoulder and turning you towards the outbuildings. “First things first, your da says if you’re going raiding, you’re not using some forest hatchet and a ten year old shield. Part of the deal was I’d outfit you from my own armory,” he ends as he opens the door.Inside for the first time, you’re taken aback. Axes, swords and mauls adorn the walls, along with decorated bows, shields and spears, all manner of weaponry that you can think of. Racks of leather armor and chainmail sit along a wall, next to about a dozen sets of throwing weapons.“Well, load up,” he says, as he surveys the room. “And don’t touch the chainmail. I could buy a new house for what one of those costs. You need to earn that shit.”>As the ‘Huge’ body type, you get 6 hands worth of weapons instead of two.>Shields are one handed>Bows are two handed>Spears are two handed, but can be used with one hand should you wish to>A ‘hand’ of throwing weapons is 2 javelins, 3 axes, or 5 daggers.>When voting seems to slow down, I’ll do a secondary vote of the most popular options
>>693507Also, FYI, this one's probably going to sit for a while so everyone that wants to gets a chance to vote. I'll be around to answer any questions regarding weapons, hands, bonuses, etc
>>693507Leather armor, so we don't just die 'cause of some lucky hit,Axe, because we're the Axe Master,Shield, because those damn arrows can't hurt us!
>>693507And a helmet! Noone should go out without one!
>>693507Handaxe, twohanded weapon (maybe a sword? Apparently an ancestor was famous for it, right?), Shield, a hand's worth of throwing axesMaybe a second shield, if having our shield destroyed is going to be a thing.Also, leather and a helmet, if the big guy's willing to give us all of it....and maybe make sure that all this shit isn't going to come out of share.
>>693507>Chain mail>Helmet>Dane Axe>Hand Axe>throwing axe>Shield
>>693507>Shield>Axe>1 hand worth of throwing axesSo that's 3 and still left with 3. Maybe use the 2 hand slots for various misc items instead? Like a length of rope or a utility hammer. Some durable boots, since it looks like we'll be footslogging most of the time. And I agree with the armor options here >>693522 >>693524
>>693507Shield6 throwing axesWaraxe
>>693533“And don’t touch the chainmail. I could buy a new house for what one of those costs. You need to earn that shit.”
>>693534Good choice.Boots, good ones! That way we can actually run around and kick some English monks!
>>693549Missed that line>>693533Change chainmail to leather Armor
>>693534I'm not going to concern myself with inventory space for stuff like rope or anything. That's the kind of stuff I'll just consider to be 'in camp' or something like that.Also, forgot to mention, you always have a seax on your belt that does not factor into how many weapons you can take
Is a chainmail really worth that much?
Do the armor/helmet/boots count as one hand worth of stuff each - or just one hand for all armor?
>>693560Back when they had to fold every ring around four other rings by hand, absolutely. I have a few slightly questionable sources if you' like one>>693561Armor won't factor in to any of that
>>693558Okay. More room for axes then!Though taking that into account, I'm tempted to get a two handed axe along with the one-hand axe and shield combo.
>>693562>Armor won't factor in to any of thatGreat! >>693565Yes, a dane axe?
>>693562>they had to fold every ring around four other rings by handWhat a fucking boring job
>>693568>fold every ring around four other+rivet them - yt videos show that this takes time, loads of it...
>>693568>>693569Yeah, fuck that. I may just rather get stabbed.
>>693507>Hand axe>Shield>Throwing axes>Throwing axes>Daggers>Leather armorDaggers because a man can never have enough spare blades in a fix, preparedness and all
>>693573Scratch a throwing axes for a set of javelins
>>693507>hand of axes x2>shield>dane axe>hand of daggers
Okay, about three hours now. I think that's enough time.Looks like a shield, a one-handed axe, leather armor, and helmet are a shoe-in. Two handed axe also got quite a lot of support. Throwing axes also got mentioned a lot.For sure>Shield>1h axe>Leather armor>HelmetProbable>2h axe>Throwing axesThis look good to everyone? Would bring you up to a total of 5 hands
>>693779Look good, you really *handled* that vote.
>>693779That sounds good
>>693787It's time for puns again.
>>693787I've been QMing now for like four? Five months? I am genuinely surprised that joke took this long to make.We'll get a few more confirmations and I'll start writing
>>693779Sounds good. Lets always leave one hand open in case we find something good while on a raid
>>693794Ha yeah, I followed you all the way through Contractor quest and never thought to make the joke. Seems these Norsemen really bring out the pun in everywun
>>693779Sounds fine.We'll see if it works in action.And if it doesn't... well, maybe we'll still survive. Seems we're playing a tough fucker.
>>693818>surviveThose puny English don't stand a chance!
Alright, cool. Writing.
You spend a while looking over your options in the small, but impressive armory. The first thing you do is replace your current weapons with newer, more fitting ones. Mom’s shield worked fine, but you’re much taller, heavier, and stronger than she is, so it wasn’t a great fit. You also grab an axe better suited to people, rather than tree limbs. Picking some leather armor and a helmet off a torso stand, you slip it over your clothes. It may not be as good as chain mail, but it’ll stop a bad day from turning into a shitty one.You pick a massive two-handed battleaxe off the rack as well, hefting the weight and securing it with leather straps to your back, underneath the shield. On your way back to Bjorn at the door, you also grab a leather brace of small, light throwing axes, and wrap them around your belt.“You probably don’t know this,” Bjorn says, “but you have expensive tastes. You can leave your old shield and axe here. I’ll have a man take it back to your farm. Now, for the other part of the deal. We get to go see the Crones.”You shudder, slightly, at the thought of dealing with those creepy old witches, but you suppose a little magic in your life won’t hurt. You and Bjorn make the trek out into the woods where the crones have their small house. Bjorn enters without knocking and immediately takes a seat at the rough wooden table. The house is a bit of a mess, but it’s hard to blame the crones. It’s not like they have eyes. That’s one of the things that always creeped you out the most about them. Their face is completely empty from their hairline to their nose, like they were never even supposed to have eyes, and yet, you’ve never seen them do so much as stumble. It’s eerie. You swallow your courage, and take a step in the front door. Bjorn gives you a look as if to say he understands your hesitation. The moment you cross the threshold, the both of the crones snap their attention to you. They ‘look’ to one another for a moment, before speaking to you.“Come, boy,” one, Hilda, you think, begins in her slow, creaking voice.“Tell us why you have come,” the other, probably Helga, finishes in much the same tone.“His fa-” Big Bjorn begins, before being cut off nearly immediately.“We do not care why he was brought,” they say, in unison, their voices going from creaking to wailing in a matter of seconds. “We care why he has come.”>Answer the crones
>>693859>To grow stronger and earn my place in Valhalla
>>693859To know what fate the gods have in store for me
>>693859>>Answer the cronesPower
>>693859To get sight beyong sight
>>693859"I want to gain a Name for myself! When I take my place in Valhalla, I want to have enjoyed everything this life can offer! Riches, women, friends, raids!"
Votes called, looking like we want to secure a place in Valhalla. Writing.
>>693905Deathwish? Rawr! Like a true viking who never killed anyone! First kill: MC cries himself to sleep, has nightmares, doesn't want to die anymore...
“I want to prove myself in battle, and secure my place in Valhalla. When I arrive in Odin’s longhouse, I want all present to know the name of Haskell Svenson. When I leave here, I want to have known everything that Midgarrd has to offer. Power, gold, women. All of it.”You step forward to take a seat next to Bjorn, across from the crones. He gives you a nod and an impressed smile. Hilda and Helga look to each other again, before turning to you and speaking, back to their slow, knowing manner.“And we’re sure you will,” they say together, giving small chuckles to themselves, as if it was a joke you didn’t get.“You have many paths ahead of you, boy,” Helga says, pointing to you with a gnarled hand“If you are wise, you may choose them all,” Hilda finishes. She turns to Bjorn. “Now you may speak. What is it you want from us?”You zone out a little while Bjorn goes through the fairly boring business of haggling for the crones’ spells for stormless travels and wealthy, unprepared enemies, and the like. You snap back when Bjorn taps your shoulder and stands, you rising with him. He seems almost in a hurry to leave the house, but as you reach the door, the women speak.“Wait, boy,” one says.“We will be rewarded for helping you, someday,” the other says, seamlessly.“So tell us,” the first one begins once again.“What it is you’d like us to do for you,” the second finishes.>I want to grow stronger, faster>I want to heal more quickly>I want to always know where to find the best loot>Write-in
>>693938>How about we make a trade? My left eye for all three>I want to always know where to find the best loot
>>693948I meant if they won't be the write in then>I want to always know where to find the best loot
>>693938I want so see all the hidden things, in men and in nature
>>693938>>I want to heal more quickly>>693948Don't try to pull an Odin you ass
>>693938>>I want to grow stronger, fasterWe already huge, we should go full on beast mode
I have to get ready for work, so we'll do another roll call in a few hours. Thanks for playing, folks. I always appreciate it
>>693938>>I want to heal more quickly
>>693938>>I want to heal more quicklyBeing huge is great, but being able to get up when you fuck up or someone out-huges you is even better. Less time spent recovering is more time spent looting.
>>693938>I want to heal more quickly
>>693938>>>I want to heal more quicklyWe will get hurt, but we always get up quickly!Yes! >>693998 We don't want to die because of illness or poison! We shall only die by beheading!
>>693990Thanks for writing! Enjoyed it greatly.Hopefully the storms and seamonsters don't keep us from our loot for too long :).
>>694006Beware the sea wenches. Selkies and so forth.I hope we go raid some irish, find some nice red haired lass to bring back home.
>>694010:^)>>694006Don't go jinxing it. Past a certain story point, I'll be rolling for storms and stuff like that.Actually leaving now.
>>693998Yea but if we're even huger and faster we have less need to worry about getting hurt.Youre all worried about being hurt, I argue for making it harder to get hurt. Unless we're talking about super fast healing then thats a different deal all together.
>>694010Or conquer a swath of land in ireland perhaps
>>693938>>I want to grow stronger, fasterHope I'm not too late to vote
>>694059Everybody goes for the British isles, lets conqueror spain
>>694072If we are based in scandinavia, the furthest route we could go is to join the vanarian guard over in eastern roman empire and fight turks. Going to spain in a longboat is going to require some resupply stops.
>>694072Fuck Spain. We need us an Irish lass and some potatoes I know this predates potatoes but who cares to farm
>>694079Since it roughly 915 there are still Viking lands in the british isles we could stop at
>>694084>>694085Dusky turkish babes anons.
>>694089Feisty red haired lasses anon
>>694072Unfortunately spain is sorely lacking in redheads. Plus spain is rougher terrain and removes our boats advantagesCould be cool doing something similar to the kingdom of dublin and the isles, only successfully conquering ireland
>>694097Then again, right now spain is under moor (muslim) control mostly right?
>>694089>>694093Por que no los dos?
>>694101Because one involves going to turkey for 10 years
>>694104But what if we lure a moorish trading caravan to us?
>>694104Fuck going to turkey, they aren't even that rich yet, we would get much more money attacking Italian cites then we would going to turkey
>>694100Yes. Spain already has enough problems with the muslims, they don't need vikings to fuck their shit up too.
>>694116Sounds like a grand place to land a merc contract with the christians to fuck up muslims for loot and women.
>>694118Fuck Christens and fuck being a merc. We are an honest viking
>>694121>Honest VikingAnon, getting other people to give you gold while you loot more gold and walk off with women is the best way to be. Noone said wede stick around or be a merc company all the time.
>>694125Seems like a waste of effort when we could just take that from the slavics and the Isles
>>694134Your doing what you normally do, and getting someone to pay you extra on top. The hell do you mean waste of effort?
>>694144You mean your fighting for the cross and dieing for probably a french men in Spain.If we become a merc we join the guard.
>>694054>thinking getting more huge can placate the dice>thinking getting huge can stop things that are naturally huger from outhuging us>thinking being huge can stop our bad decisions from fucking us overI get where you're coming from but let's be honest here, we're going to get hurt regardless
>>694134I believe the phrase is: If you're good at something never do it for free. Once we get our own raiding group together we should really learn some politics of the areas we go to and start offering our services to their enemies. And then if the enemies pay more we turn around and raid the original contract owners. Make the contracts last for a raiding season at a time so that the areas have a chance to build up wealth to renegotiate again.
>>694157Well if you go for the conquoring malarky then you can make people put up their land as insurance to paying you.Full on east indian trade company some folks.Note that the normans and scilily (for a time) were viking invasions that adopted local culture. York was the longest standing viking kingdom in britian (and its effects are still felt to this day). This time is really good for land grabbing.
>>694165I wasn't going to go full on conquering myself, unless maybe if we want to establish a colony out in Iceland (that would be sweet). More of just a protection racket
>>694084Not a good idea as around this time is when the Irish get their shit together.
Love the discussion and back-and-forth here guys.Glad to know you're getting so into it so soon
Rolled 5, 3, 6 = 14 (3d10)>>694156My dice says you're full of shit
Rolled 6, 4, 1 = 11 (3d10)>>694178Hes the anti roll i guess.
Rolled 4, 4, 3 = 11 (3d10)>>694178MediocreAnd I have horrible luck.
>>694144Well working as mercs means actually comitting to large battles that probably wont net as much loot as raidingIf we're going to go all out and comit to big costly fights we may as well take the land itself.Might can make some money on one off deals sure, but i'd be against signing on with someone.
Rolled 2, 10, 2 = 14 (3d10)>>694185Nat 3
>>694186Thats why you dont take contracts for big battles, you offer services raiding.We can negotiate what we actually do you know.
>>694156Rule of cool anon, i mean unless its mild regeneration or something.
>>694186I think that the idea idea that I and other anon are working with is the same sort of difference between pirates and privateers. We are just promising that we won't attack your land in exchange for payment, and in exchange for even more payment we'll raid your enemies
If anything we only take mercenary work to get the Varangian trait for that extra personal combat skill and point of martial.Weren't the Varangian guard mostly German dudes and not Scandinavian ones?
>>694195That won't be for a while anon, to start with we'll only have one boat and that'll take time to get. When we get three or four boats then nations might be willing to do that
>>694194We could always hunt down a troll and eat some of it.I am sure that can in no way backfire. THough maybe not a scandi troll, those are intelligent, roughly organized and will fuck your shit up. Depending on your definition/variety of troll.
>>694173>Not a good idea as around this time is when the Irish get their shit together.That makes it the very best time since it will provide a great challenge worthy of boasting of in valhalla.Set up shop on one of those islands off the coast of scotland or england for a stepping off point perhaps.>>694177I wish the isles were broken down into all the petty little kingdoms and tribes that were there historically, but all the same ive been wanting a quest like this for a while now.
>>694203If we are going that route we might as well kill a dragon and bathe in its blood.
>>694213You're thinking too small, let's go kill and skin Fenrir and wear his pelt as a hat.
>>694195Well thatd be fine by me, i was thinking mercenary company
>>694199Depended on the time.Lots of anglo saxons joined it after the norman conquest for instance
We should just make it a point to kill as many famous monsters as possible.
>>694203There is a difference between ice giants and trolls. Trolls are much larger, much dumber, and much meaner>>694205I wanted to, but the thing is, if I do it for England, then I have to do it for Spain, and the Frankish mess that came after Charlamagne's death, and it'll quickly get out of hand and bogged down in bullshit the more places we go
>>694258Just use ck2 and look at what the map looks like in 915, I think a mid has roughly that date
>>694240I doubt we will have much of a choice in fighting monsters. I don't really know what you mean by famous tho.
>>694305You can absolutely go monster hunting for the folk beasts of various cultures, if you get support. Not that you guys would stand a chance against most of them right now, though
>>694373Hypotetically if we bathed in dragon's blood would we get the same benefit as Siggy?
>>694391If we kill a Dragon I'm sure Odin would personally pat our back. I don't think we will live long enough to see that tho
>>694277Not a bad idea there>>694258Not that everything has to be absolute historical detail in that regard, but say we're just raiding somewhere we dont really need a whole lot of details initially, but if we get invested into the area or raid around it repeatedly it'd be nice to see more detail about the local powers.Like, its all england now, give it some time we actually get to learn some of independent kingdoms that make up the isles assuming we spend a lot of time there.
>>694391Dragons don't exist in Norway anon
>>694409This is something I may do. Thanks for the idea, anon. It would give me time to keep them straight, too.
>>694411Do we have to go to ching chong land?
>>694430Can we defeat a mythical creature with our puns?
>>694439Like I'm going to give you guys a reason to throw more puns at me
>>694452Slinging puns like we sling axesIf we get famous can we get a skald to follow us around and be the only person who ever laughs at our puns? Our stories must be told and they must be told with puns
>>694487If anons are willing to pay him, hell yeah.I love it when you guys come at me with off-the-wall stuff like that
>>694493Just a wondering bard following us around writing songs and compiling a Joke Book about us
>>694487Not even once
Home now, and will be running after I eat. Who's around?
>>694553I'm around and sad that I missed the crone vote.
>>694553Reporting for duty to please that booty
>>694553I'm ready to rape English women
>>694553Sup CQH, did I miss something with Jan or is this just to recharge
>>694553And my axe!
>>694637Basically, interest in CQ felt like it was dropping, especially my own. I felt a lot of this was due to the lack of an actual story in favor of the 'villain of the week' type missions we were doing. I'd had this one on the back burner for a while, so I started it up to refill creative juices and give myself time to set up a story for CQ without just dropping questing. Ideally, it'll be back in time for a Halloween special.Counting votes, then writing
“Actually, I got a bit messed up by a frost giant,” you say after some consideration. “Anything you can do to speed that whole process up?”“Why yes,” one says, almost intentionally creepily.“We can,” says the other. She turns to Bjorn. “The spells will be finished by the end of the week. The boys, by morning.”With that, they go back to what they were doing like you were never even there. The massive raidmaster shrugs, and shuts the door. “I fucking hate going there,” he says to you. “But, needed to be done. Now, let’s talk some business. You’re getting sent to raid some slavs, mostly for food and livestock. It’s not choice raiding, but no one gets the English or French their first time out. You’ll get paid for your time, though, since there won’t be as much to bring back. However, before we send you there, I have a little job for you and Knut to do. Mountain passes have just opened up from winter, and the temple in the mountains will need a shipment of food. I’ll send Anders and Erik along with you. Make sure it gets there safe, and you’re on the first ship out of the fjord. Any questions?”>That sounds fair>No. I want to get on a ship, now.>Ask a question
>>694689>>That sounds fairGot to start somewhere
>>694689>>That sounds fair
>>694689>>That sounds fairCan't really say no
>>694654Hey cool beans mang. Glad you're still chugging along. Not too many QMs pull off Rule of Cool like you do. Redline Quest was the best thing ever
>>694689>That sounds fair
>>694689>That sounds fair>Anything other Ice Giants, bears, and the like to lookout for
>>694707All about the fun, man.Alright, a resounding yes. Writing
>>694689>>That sounds fairIf we kill another frost giant we need to make a fur cloak
“Gotta start somewhere, right?”, you ask.“That’s the spirit,” he says, clapping a massive hand over your shoulder. “I have a feeling you’re going to be worth just about any investment I put into you, Haskell.”“Will there be anything to worry about, other than frost giants or trolls?”“Probably,” he says, rubbing his beard. “Winter will have been hard on bandits and wolves alike. The four of you, a wagon full of food and a mule will be quite a score for either. Keep an eye out. Come find me when your chest is healed up. Should happen a lot sooner now, with that spell the crones are doing for you.”With that, he gives you a small wave, and heads of towards his house, leaving you on the outskirts of the village, unsure of what to do with yourself. You should probably let Knut know you volunteered him for something, and you do need to ask Anders and Erik if they’ll help you out.>Find someone (Who? Why?)>Look for something specific (What?)>Go home, busy yourself until you’re healed up (Timeskip)
>>694744>>Find someoneKunt tell him we have a mission, and we are going to raid dirty slavic ppl
>>694744Wander around and see what we find
>>694744>>Find someone (Who? Why?)Lets go to Knut and tell him our mission, and show him our gear
>>694754Knut i mean. lol I called him kunt
>>694744>>Find someoneTell knut we're going to the temple and we get to raid Slavic asshats
>>694744>>694754this works for me.
>>694744>>Find someone (Who? Why?)The lads, prep for our task
>>694744>>Find someone (Who? Why?)Knut, Anders, and Erik for the food shipment job to the temple. Explain what we can and get to know what they know regarding the location and paths.Also, it's winter? Man, should've gotten a warm coat when we were equipping.
>>694863It's currently spring. Winter just ended.Alright, a little secondary vote.>Find Knut>Find everyone
>>694870Why not... >Find Knut so that he can find either Anders or Erik, and we look for the other one.
You’re not too far from Knut and Olaf’s, so you make the short walk over. Knut is outside, working with his hunting dog, Blern. “You’re loaded for war,” he says as his eyes raise to meet you, sounding concerned. “There something we need to be worried about?”“Nope,” you reply, “part of Big Bjorn’s deal with my father. Come with me, we should find Anders and Erik.”He shrugs, and calls Blern to follow him as the two of you walk. The talking is light, until you find Anders at his house. He’s asleep in bed, and Anders takes the chance to sic Blern on him. Plenty of swearing and dog slobber later, the three of you are headed to the shipyard, where you find Erik. You steal him from his father, and enter the mead hall, pulling up a table to discuss plans.“Big Bjorn’s offered me a chance at raiding,” you begin. “Thing is, he wants me and Knut to guard a wagon of food and supplies up to the temple in the mountains before we go.”“And you want me and Anders to tag along, make sure you don’t get eaten,” Erik says, ever the optimist.“And we’re gonna fuckin’ do it, Erik,” Anders replies, his boyish smile showing a brief flash of anger.The two bicker back and forth for a while before you stop them. “The point here is,” you interrupt, “Knut and I have a spot on the first ship out of the fjord when we get back. Stealing food and cattle from some slavs.”“We’re on there with you,” Erik says, “but Anders will be hurling the whole time. Be ready for that.”“Fuck you, it’s the rocking,” Anders defends himself. “Never can get used to it,” he says, looking to you.You shake your head, ignoring the in-fighting. If you hadn’t been there for it, you’d never believe that they’re as close as brothers.“We’ll leave in a few days, when my chest is healed up. Bjorn thinks we’ll be dealing with bandits and wolves, mostly.”The talking continues for about an hour, mostly giving Erik the details of your fight with the giant. He’s pretty impressed, and thinks the wounds will leave some pretty wicked scars. Eventually, he leaves back to the shipyard, leaving the three of you alone in the mead hall pretty early in the morning. Not even Half-handed Haki is here yet.>Keep talking with Anders and Knut (About what?)>Find someone else (Who?)>Go somewhere else (Where?)>Go home, kill time until you leave for the temple (Timeskip)
>>695054>Go home, kill time until you leave for the temple (Timeskip)Check in at the farm, take care of our smaller chores there, I'm sure our Father will be able to pick up the slack while we're gone but we should make it easier on him
>>695054>>Keep talking with Anders and Knut (About what?)Ask what they know about the path to the temple, how long will it take to get there and back, etc.
>>695054>>695061Works for me as well.
Votes are in, and I'm writing.
“How far is it to the temple,” you ask. “I’ve never been up there. Dad hasn’t been too keen on it since mom died.”“It’s about three days each way,” Anders replies. “I go up there every few months. Figure we’ll be gone for a week, accounting for any… trouble we come across.”That’s not so bad. You’ll be out longer on the ships. Still, though, that’ll be quite a bit of time. With dad being the only one on the farm until harvest, you burn through as many things your wounds will let you in the last few days before Bjorn expects you to leave. It seems Hilda and Helga’s spell worked, because you’re better a week after the fight, instead of the two or three Geira told you it would probably be. After about five days of working the fields and spending time with your father, your wounds have healed into thick, bright pink scars. They’re still tender, and you don’t quite have full motion, but you’re good enough to get going to the temple. You wake the morning of, and share a heartfelt goodbye with your father before loading up your weapons and heading out to Big Bjorns massive estate.Knut and Erik are there waiting, as is Bjorn himself. A donkey is attached to a large cart, piled high with food and new clothes for the residents of the temple. “Just waiting on Anders, now,” Bjorn says, leaning against a large tree. “Don’t worry about feeding the beast, you won’t be so high in the mountains. He can feed himself. I’d appreciate it if you brought him back uneaten, though. Any questions while we wait for your friend?”>Ask Big Bjorn something>Wait for Anders and get under way
>>695209>Ask Big Bjorn somethingHave there been any big sightings in the area? Any fresh news?
>>695209>Ask Big Bjorn somethingJokingly ask if we'll get cursed if we so much as step on the wrong piece of rock while in the temple grounds?
>>695209Did you have to work hard to get to the position you're in today, or were you... Bjorn for it?
>>695241Do it am, backing
>>695241Oh, shit, how can i resist?
A few stray wolves and bandit groups MAY or MAY NOT have just turned into a pack of frost giants.Writing your fucking puns, you god damn animals.
>>695301Jokes on you that just makes our eventual saga more epic and hilarious
>>695301More glory to be had.
>>695301I love it. Thank you based Handler senpai
>>695301Do frost giants start migrating for colder climates/seek higher altitudes when it's spring?
>>695317Eventually, but not this early.
>>695320They are attracted to puns, though. Apparently.
“A few, if you don’t mind,” you say, a devious plan already forming in your mind.“Well, go ahead and ask them,” he says, completely unaware of the trap you’re putting into motion.“Anyone been seeing anything weird?”“Just the usual,” he says, shrugging. “A bit of extra bandit and wolf activity. Like I told you, and nothing new has popped up that I’ve been hearing.”“We’re not going to end up cursed or anything if we step out off the path to the temple, are we?”“No, Haskell,” he scoffs, “you aren’t going to end up under some black magic. Don’t worry.”“One last thing,” you say, a wicked smile crossing your face. You can see the fear in Bjorns eyes. Blern whimpers, and hides behind Knut, as though he can sense what’s coming. “Did you have to work hard for this type of wealth…” you begin, your arms gesturing out to his sprawling lands.“Don’t do it,” the massive man pleads with you. It is too late. It was always too late.“...or were you Bjorn into it,” you finish, your head snapping back into a cacophonous fit of laughter.“He did it,” Knut groans behind you. “We never even had a chance.”“No one ever has a chance, Knut,” Bjorn says, accepting his fate as the target of the perfect pun. “Best we can hope for is to survive them. At least I’m not going to stuck with him, alone, in the woods, for a week. May Freyja have mercy on your souls.”“We could just kill him,” Erik says in his droning, pessimistic voice. “No one would ever doubt a wolf got him on the way up.”Luckily, before the plan to murder you can gain any traction, Anders arrives, his sword and axe on his belt. He sees eager to get going, and the group wastes little time in bringing the supplies out of town and up into the mountain trail.
And this is where we leave it for the night. I may pick up in the morning if there's some around, but I have a few things to do, no promises. Keep an eye on both the thread and the twitter. Always love questions and criticism, and thanks for playing guys.
>>695352Okay, thanks and g'night.
>>695352That was fun, you worked that pun in norsely. I look forward to the next run.
Archiving the thread. Slept like sit and have a handful of things I need to do today. Sorry, folks. Next thread probably Tuesday? I'll announce on the twitter, as usual.Hope you had fun. I know I did.
>>696458Thanks for running
>>696458Thanks for running Handler
Thanks for writing!Anons' fascination with puns is strange... maybe those crones' spell had some side effects.
>>696913>every time MC makes a pun the quest is made slightly more difficult>higher difficulty means greater reward>greater reward means awesome shit>awesome shit means taking on bigger threats>bigger threats mean bigger punsBy the Norns what have we unleashed?
>>697375It cannot be pundone
>>697666I guess even Satan is in on it. This is our PUNishment, is it?
I have tree punsIt's a treat to meet youLeaf it aloneMaybe you should branch out in lifeIt's knot a problem