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/qst/ - Quests

And what a year went by.

It saw the spawn of countless Hands all around the world. Big, white, shining balls, capable of natural gravity manipulation, the Hands get their name by the way they expand their bodies to wrap and crush their victims. Which is, mostly, every single thing that isn't themselves. Including other Hands.

This is because their natural enemies, the man-made Armas, are in very short supply. Armas are expensive to pay, risky to make, long to raise, and not everyone can be an Arma. Yet those who can, in this darkest times, often choose not to take that way to spare their memories and their bonds, since becoming an Arma is akin to rebirth.

One particular Hand now dwells underwater. It's one thousand times bigger than your average Hand, and, so far, it has seen no hostility. It moves, and sometimes, it rises from above. They call it, simply, "Big Hand".

Some Anythings saw the surface as well, logic-less beings that can't be erased by normal means. The world was sunk to stall them, and most of them still lie stuck deep, deep underwater, like a whole layer of earth made of strange images that tilt and wave, shaking reality. All sentinent, All waiting.

One who made it up was labelled "the Angel of Rivadavia". A massive, towering colossus of soft shapes and hard, darkened metal, it hovers the waters and roams without aim. Anyone unfortunate enough to be less than ten miles away from the Angel has its heart explode inside the chest. It's permanently being tracked down.

And more than a few underwater cities, the main supply of food and resources the surface dwellers rely on, have been already declared empty.
It’s not, however, all bad news at least.
From the depths of the endless blue, a new lifeform rose, sheltering itself inside most hollow objects one could imagine. The Inkeds. Black balls like ballons, the Inkeds inflate without restraint, and explode in violent fashion once they reach the size of your average ship. Their kin was met with distrust and even fear at first, but their harmless nature soon earned them a place in the surface as they proved to be unmatched pilots of most crafts. For their sake, mechanical, humanoid shaped armors are now being developed. They are still settling in, and do cannot; they communicate by spawning images. Some, by now, spawn words in the air.

Another eyebrow-rising news is the unexpected appeareance of the Whats. The old sunked ships, either by the They’s or other ships, started, one day, coming back to the surface, wheter they were hibridships or not. Manned by small beings with long snout and big, long feet they use as hands, it was quickly proved those small beings were controlled by the ship itself, that each ship that returned from the deeps was a hivemind of sorts. While their kind had, at first, more than a few rough encounters with the other surface dwellers, their behavior was soon compared with those of animals. Less than soon, more than enough methods were discovered to deal with them peacefully. Now some of those haunted ships are taken for pets to other bigger ships, and most of the feral ones are simply left alone since their kind has proved, to mostly everyone’s joy, that they can stand their ground against both Hands and Anythings.
They are known as Whats because it sounds similar to what the ships spawnlings blurt out almost all the time.

Among a lot more news, coming from a very troubled year, there is one clear silver lining. One particular Arma, “LOST”, had lured her brethen into mass suicide. This was because their makers, afraid and perhaps jealous of their status and power, took it upon themselves to seat fear deep into the hearts of Arma in order to keep them under control, by planting detonators inside their bodies and inflicting psychological abuse upon them on a daily basis. After 9/10s of the whole Arma population got wiped out, the whole world got the message, and since then Armas are raised and even spoiled by their first generation survivors.
“LOST” had absorbed the GOG gas of a whole generation of Armas. She then took a whole piece of the world exclusively for herself, more than likely the only piece of land remaining by now. She has lately communicated with the First, Second and Fourth, and it’s been six months already since her island is open for Armas all around to world to grow, live, and learn, no matter the race, no matter the age.

And as far you are concerned, Leateli has been inside the First four months by now.
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Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Haremhorn
Twitter: @haremhorn
Himehorns? http://manga.clone-army.org/wiki.php?entry=horned_ones
“What’s that?” http://ask.fm/himehorn

You are Roomba. A Fake. You used to work at the Himehorn Support Center a year ago, and you are now currently filling a dented mug with beer behind a bar inside “The Whatever”, a bar-brothel inside the lowest floor of The Second, a gigantic city-ship scouring the skies above the clouds, where you’ve been living humbly, yet peacefully, while all of this happened.
“Would you like anything else?” you ask to the old, bearded man on the other side of the bar. He dimly shakes his head, smiling.
He goes to take his mug and another hand grabs it first, you follow the mug with your eyes and witness as Ado downs it in one fell swoop, smashes it against the table, then smashes a yellow bill in front of the old man, who glares at him, shakes his head, takes the bill and leaves.
You stare at Ado, wide eyed, as he cleans his mouth with his sleeve. He finally gives you a deep look, it seems this year gave him a humble, faint beard.
“…Motherfucking cat ears?” he asks.
You gaze at him, scoldingly. He was visiting “soon”, a whole year behind.
(Lifts hands up to face in approximation of cat paws)
Might as well add in asking how the hotline is doing, then using that as a springboard to sell him on helping you start up a similar operation. We'll call it "BrokenHorn emergency hotline".

Oh joy, just like a family reunion!

If I were our good old Roomba, I'd probably ask how he has been doing, how the Greathorn and it's inhabitants are keeping up, and, of course, if the Himehorn Support Center is doing well.

Probably not all to great.
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What.Oh man, I never should have asked should I?

Activate *Hmph* mode. Ado is late, messing with customers, and mocking our cute uniform! This simply can not be approved of! Give him a hiss and a grumpy glare... before dropping the act and asking him every question we can think of >>668263 >>668266 , How white is doing, what he came to the second for, if he's met one of those Anythings (and how cool their armor is if he has) and... that should keep him talking for awhile. We can think of more questions as he answers that batch. Write out a list for him on a napkin if he skips one, we want to know everything!
It turns into a glare.
"Good morning, Ado." ...It came out a lot more cheerful than you intended, but this isn't over yet. The towering manchild blinks at you, suddenly chewing on something, as a shady-looking haremhorn death-stares at him from his right.
"Srsly." he swallows, "What kinda shithole is this? Lets get out of here."
You pout way too hard at him, partly to let him know it isn't serious. "Ado, I work here. And you are bothering my customers!"
Ado turns and faces the haremhorn, who's still staring at him right in the eyes. They keep at it for a while; it's hypnotizing. Then Ado blinks.
"FUCK, I LOST." He then presents his hand to the haremhorn; she looks at it, then at him; then she shakes it. "Well played, you won a round. Roomba, two beers."
"I don't drink." says the haremhorn.
Ado nods and rises a finger. "Two for me then. So what's your story? How's it been down in this shithole?"
As you think about it, your "Hmph!" mode fades before you notice, then it's too late. "Well, it is a rather rowdy place, but everyone has been so nice to me I get to forget about that sometimes."
"Cuz you are nice." you hand both beers in front of him. The haremhorn snatches one from his side and takes a sip, the mug too big for her face. She frowns completely afterwards, slowly leaving the mug over the table.
Ado then drinks from his. "What do you do for fun? Like, what do you do with your money? I mean how have you been and all that?"
"I'm working here part time in the morning, and at nights I work at customer service at IFA." You "hmm". "It's kind of like the Support Center, just... less?" You shrug. "How's White doing? What's going on in the Greathorn, these days?"
He looks away from you, then takes one proud, fearless sip from his tattered mug.
"Some Fake fuck killed Leader, like, a month ago. Hidden protocol, so you can guess the poor guy was as suprised as us. They disposed of him anyway." He scratches his head, the haremhorn slowly goes for her mug. "Fucking disaster, and now White is the Leader."
"HEY, A DRINK MA-AM" you turn towards the fat guy, he's smirking at you. Then he blinks. "NAAAH, Y'KNOW I AINTA DRINKIN NO MO. CMON, BRING THE JUICE."
You give him a taunting smile, then get the orange bottle under the table, shake it a bit, and serve him orange and banana juice with garlic and honey in a plastic glass. He downs it in one go; then grimaces.
"SO WHO DE GUY EA?" he turns at Ado, who takes another sip.
"Ex-boyfriend. She owes me cash. Walk away."
"Bran, this is Ado." you state calmly, hiding the bottle under the desk. "He used to work with me at the Support Center."
"I know, I've been eating shit for too long." Ado rises from the table. "Hey, when do you get out?"
You look for the clock in the wall, it's shaped like a head screaming. "In... two hours? Sometimes it's a bit longer."
"Aight, meet you then. My pleasure, fat fuck."
"AI." he nods.

This time you sit as a customer, your blonde head finally free. You've argued and tried reason with Bashjik more than a few times, but despite him letting you redecorate the whole place, replace the seats and tables, get curtains, repaint the walls, add a "healthy" menu, and more than plenty of etc, who just /have/ to wear those cat ears at work.
At least, you think as you glance around, the place looks awfuly comfy now. You nod at yourself, thinking of all these months. Then you notice Ado rising an eyebrow.
"As I was saying, White is the Leader now. And fuck me If things have changed. Look at me, I'm looking for a shitty job like yours." He points at his chest. "I kept running the Support Center and bullying hornmothers behind their back after you left. They didn't let me help anyone else. Leateli and shit, you know. And yeah, I was afraid." He points at himself, again. "Maybe Im selfish. But look, Leaderhorn never came back, Captain got the fuck out after White took the reings. What I'm saying, is that the Support Center got shut the fuck down, and after the haremhorns learned how to handle things on their own they told me to fuck off and I ended up in this shithole. With you. Man..."
As he goes for the beer, you gently pry the mug from him and give it a fair sip. You rest in on your side of the table, he quickly snatches it back.
"But didn't you had a ship, Ado?" you giggle. "I recall you being very close to Mina..."
"We don't fuck. Never did, never will." He frowns, yet slightly. "It's like a brother-sister relationship, but way worst."
"But, you did have an Evarest-VA."
He nods. You tilt your head.
"I'm looking for a friend here. I have to let her know before shit hits the fan, otherwise I'd feel guilty."
"What do you mean?"
"The himehorns" he takes another sip, then finds the mug is empty. He almost glares at you, "are going to get framed. They rightfully found a new city underwater. The Second wants it. She's Leaderhorn's long time buddy, so she may give a fuck, one way or the other It's none of my bussiness after this."
You stare blankly at Ado with wide eyes.
"How do you..."
"They've been trying to lure the himehorns into agression for a while now, hijacking hornships and whatnot. The First is dealing with enough shit right now, and the Second is putting on deaf ears because they want a piece of the cake. It's only a matter of time before they get their excuse."
You downcast your eyes out of reflex, as if gravity had just gotten a bit stronger.
>killed Leader

Well, looks like the numbers didn't work out to well for her.

She'll be missed.


>So after one year on the Second, do we have heard of the "Great Lady"? On the other hand, how likely is it that she is still working at that place?
>(Meta-knowledge ftw, although it's just of 3 threads of the 6, so fudge I know if she was still working at the end of the series.)

So... that is why you came here? Just to give a heads up that things will get worse from here? Or do you have something more in mind?
"So what do you want me to do? White won't listen to me. The Himehorns won't let me back. All I've done is take care of a good friend until I failed at that, failed at being able to find a job to help others, and ended up here. All I am now is a glorified bartender. What can I do?"

(Listen to some sort of inspirational talk from Ado)

I guess the first thing we should do is find an exiled Himehorn and explain the problem. They might have a better chance to tell them the situation, at least...

Does our haremhorn co-worker have any ideas on where to start?
>So after one year on the Second, do we have heard of the "Great Lady"? On the other hand, how likely is it that she is still working at that place?

Muhuhuhuhu! =w=
We aren't exactly the most influential person in the world, so there isn't much we can reasonably do to stop the 2nt. What we can do however is minimize the damage. Give who we can a warning and whatever help we can to get them out of harms way.

"How determined is the Second to start a war with the horns? Do you think they'll quit after they've gotten the city or do you think they'll keep going after horn territory after that? And just how much do the horns know about this? Last but not least what are you planning on doing, just going to find your friend and tell them what you know? "

These are not the kind of questions we wanted to be asking, but we can't just let our friends get caught up in some race/turf war.
"How detemined is the Second to start a war with the himehorns?"
Ado tentatively takes the mug to his lips, as if scouring for drops of beer. He gives up soon.
"If there is one thing good about being a Fake," a starts, resting the mug and studying it, as if wondering if he did something wrong, "is that you can't feel hungry. And that's important. Very very fucking important, actually. See, hunger makes you do strange things, like this one time I had nothing to it so I munched on plastic banana all the way back to my ship." He looks at you. "These guys, they aren't Fakes, and they don't wanna be hungry. It's as simple as that."
"Do... doo you think they'll quit after they've gotten the city, or do you think they'll keep going after horn territory after that?"
"I mean," you shake your head, "if you think they will just stop after sitting the Greathorn."
He seems to ponder at this. "The way I see it, they might just let the horned guys live just to steal from them if they see them thriving somehow, after all they did find the city on their own. That's thanks to White." He raises a finger. "She found out a way to use GOG gas underwater. Fucking amazing. Submarines and hybridships get jacked a lot lately, mostly after they just got the goods from the cities. Everyone is just starting to kill each other for food."
It's just too awful. "How much do the himehorns know about this?"
"They know they are being taunted. So far, White has been cold as... ice? No, fuck that, cold as... megaice. She got all the hornships back into the Greathorn, that's why the Support Center became useless."
"And you are just going to let her friend know, and that's it?"
"I'm not a fucking hero, Roomba, and neither are you."
So no fish or algae?

Just how toxic is the ocean?
Let's just say it's not exactly water. =T
This is fucking unrealistic, is the whole sea just toxic waste now that they can't fish?

There is a reason why Megaman Legends went by the rare resource being energy and not food. You have to really fuxk up to eliminate all food sources in the planet.
So the planet is doomed since they can't produce food anymore. This quest is grimdark as hell.
"We're not heros, Ado. We're also not complete fucks. You know that you and I are pretty much some of the very few people who care about what Brokenhorn did to help people."

"Let's at least try to do something to help. If only for her memory..."

Look at it like this:
Humanity today uses petrol instead of regenerative energy because it's easier.

And now imagine a giant fucking thing attacking your solar plants because it's annoyed by them.

In short, problem is not the actual process of farming underwater, or fishing, it's setting up a farm or fishing spot without
The They, Hands and Fudge Else coming to kill you.

At least from my point of view.

To say it with the Leateli: "Overpopulation"

If I did good explaining, can I have some canned peaches?

No renewable food sources means that all creatures that cannot survive feeding from sea creatures are doomed to extinction. Fakes might last longer but with no people no one will produce parts and that means you will die.

Too bad the Himehorns cannot go to space and look for a better planet than this shithole.
There is no overpopulation just a doomed planet.

>Self destruct you can't win.
There are plenty of efforts in finding ways to produce food in various ways. Both the First and Second have gardens in which they use soil digged from deep, deep underground, soil under the floor that hasn't touched the liquid they just call "water". It works, so they get fruit and vegetables. The ship's upkeep, however, is fairly larger than the benefit they get from it.

Weell, they did sunk the entire planet with the ocean from another planet... it seems conditions haven't met yet for something to take adventage of the ecosystem. Except for They's; those came with the water, and you really can't eat them.
>Megaman Legends
This is good taste, also.

Were they left to their own devices, without the Theys and the Hands and the Anythings and the whatnots, it wouldn't be hard to deal with the resource issue and set up a system for constant energy renewal.
They just have to deal with all of them first, however.

There are not that many planets out there anymore, anyway. By now, this just might be the only one with a stable enough atmosphere... and just look at it!
Entropy just isn't nice.

Roomba can't self-destruct, and she isn't strong enough to break her own neck. Not that it would help, she's a Fake after all.
Mind me giving another sermon?

In life, you cannot win, since there is no goal.
But on the other hand, just giving up makes even less sense.

Just compare it to real life:
All your actions don't matter, but would you consider suicide yourself? Highly unlikely!

Being alive just generally makes more sense than being dead.
My big concern is that they're not going to go full Templar and try to purge the horns. If it's just piracy and that kind of reasoning then Ado is right, we're not heroes and we can't single-handedly defend them. White is far more capable of that.

What I can do though is spread the word quietly that the horns should leave the Second if they're in danger.

As long as there are machine shops that are powered Fakes can learn how to make their own parts. But really, I think the big problem is a technology gap. We have ships even airships that account for shelter, but we lack the technology for food and we lack the weapons to fight the alien monsters. Maybe one of the new species to pop up out of the deep has some technology that will help with that. Maybe not and we have to invent it.

>Entropy just isn't nice.
Ah there's the solution, become Meguca! We'll harvest anon's grief seeds and reverse entropy that way!
Actually in life you can win. You just die at the end so shut up.
>Call the Fake Hunters and get them to kill you.

Honesty man this setting is too damn hopeless.

Go to write some grimdark comedy story instead of making us play a Mario Bross Hack that's impossible to win unless you know all the tricks.
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Do we have a wish strong enough to overcome entropy though?

>Pic related to the setting in general.
Careful with that argument anon, there are plenty of people who aren't comfortable with positive nihilism that would consider suicide a perfectly valid option if they didn't think life had some meaning.
Yeah you can win battles but you lose the war since life ain't eternal.

>Call the Fake Hunters and get them to kill you.
>Ah there's the solution, become Meguca! We'll harvest anon's grief seeds and reverse entropy that way!

But you need a cat for that and cats are very rare lately. It won't be easy.

We are all doomed, anonhorn, we just don't mind because we know already. Just try to make the most out of it with what you get in the meantime. =w=
A creepy talking cat at that.

But yes, as long as there is no threat to the horns on the second Ado is right, we can't really do anything more for them than White can do.
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"I know." You state, peacefully. Ado looks as if he got something stuck down his throat. "Do you... does that mean, that the himehorns in here..." he stares at you. "That the himehorns in the Second..."
"No. Fuck, no. They are here, so they are under their control already. Those there, down under? Nay." he shakes his head. "They aren't. And they also can't afford to fuck up their own people, not out in the open at least, that's why they need White to give em an excuse to nuke the Greathorn. It's all to still seem all nice and dandy; some people value moral more than food."
You eyes get fixed on the table. "I see... at least those are safe."
He chuckles. "I love the hornmothers here, you just /can't/ bully them anymore. I tried, I got here three days ago." You close your mouth. "They look at you as if you were retarded or just straight up ignore you, and some even play along. They work, cook, complain, and really fucking hate traffic. No more "go home, nohorn" and dances, they straight tell you to go fuck yourself." He pouts. "I'm missing the Greathorn so much already..."
You giggle, too. "I kind of miss it, too."
"Really? What do you miss?"
You think of your long hours spent behind the bar hearing guys complain that girls didn't like them, or being yelled at during customer service because the model they got had black hair instead of red.
"Power." you close your eyes, gently. "I miss the power."

Before you even notice, you find yourself walking along Ado through the wide aisles of the Second's underground section, the Third Floor. Should Ado take a good jump, he's smash his head against the ceiling, and even if you don't want to see that you can't help but smile a little at the thought. You walk past trash food spots, doors written and drawn all over, beggars aplenty, beings of plenty shapes and sizes walking all over, stumbling with you, glaring at each other, talking, and dark spots here and there. Some of the lights on the ceiling are broken, and after a while nobody ever comes back to fix them. And you know why. Anima, the main fuel used for ships and suits, is also an efficient hallucinogen that triggers your brain with just touching it. It doesn't work on you, of course, but a glance is enough to not wonder why these people would want away from reality, at least for a while. Yet you find yourself heading, along Ado, straight towards the darkness. He looks back and forth, then takes out a small notepad from his chest and flips the pages for a while.
"Hey, you got a flashlight or anything?" you trigger your orange eyes, his mouth gapes slightly. "Aight, light my path."
The darkness reveals a broken stairway that starts almost seven feet from the ground. Ado gently grabs you, balances you for a while as you ponder, then throws you above into the stairway. You fall on your legs, stumble, and grab into the railing to your right; you turn to two hands leaning from the ledge.


Ado knocks on the door, which slowly falls into the ground with a powerful slam, making you both flinch. You gasp as he grabs your head with a hand and uses you as a lantern. You spot a switch; he presses it, and the light turns on.
As Ado slowly drops you, you both glance around, your eyebrows up and your mouth open. The room is medium sized and the white walls are infested by pictures of men with great muscle sitting on a toilet, completely naked, screaming with all their might with their veins bloated, from most angles you could conceive of; one of them is Ado. At one of the corners, next to a fake window that displays a fake city, there's a monitor. You walk up to it out of reflex; it shows an album of pictures of angry old people. You blink.
And you almost take a leap backwards as the pile of magazines at your right slowly turns into a human being. You both just stare, as the blonde woman yawns. She's sporting two sharp, bulky strands of hair at the sides of a bored, sleepy looking face, and the back of her hair is tied into a ponytail.

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"Heya." she says.
Ado clears his throat. "Roomba, Trash. Trash, Roomba." you produce your bag from behind your legs, semiingly out of nowhere. Trash looks at it. "We got snacks." Ado finishes with a wide, shit-eating grin.
Trash grins softly at him until Ado takes a small, subtle step backwards. She goes up to you and takes off the back, without manners and yet without strenght.
Trash squats, and digs through your bag "So what's going on, you got a job for me or something?" she finally finds the small bag of oats, gets a handful almost smashes it against her face. You blink hard and fast; no milk, no yogurt; she's chewing dry oats.
"Shit goes like this" It's Ado, suddenly behind you. "Leaderhorn is nowhere, Leader died, White got into power, and Captain defected or something, I dunno. White found a new city to scavenge, word got out somehow, and now the Second is fucking with White so she gives them an excuse to nuke the everloving fuck out of the Greathorn."
"So?" Trash digs through a can of soda, and pops it open.
Ado's eyes go around. "Sooo.... that's it." He shrugs, as Trash downs the small can in one go. Everybody seems to be drinking a lot lately...
"So?" Trash repeats, crushing the can with a single hand and throwing it into your head. It bounces, slightly pushing your head backwards. "That's Horny's problem, not mine. If she gave a fuck, she would be here. And she isn't here, and she isn't there either." she yawns, again, then faces Ado with her eyes barely open. "Thank you for coming all this way just to wake me up. That's... very nice of you. Now fuck off." You walk up to her. "What?" she blurts out, spitting a little bit in your face.
Yet you don't flinch. "I've got" you pause a bit, "a lot of money."
You let that sink for a while, both Ado and Trash looking at you. You take a small breath...
"A lot of money." you clarify.
They are both staring at you quizzically, and for one small, shining moment, you witness as they glance at each other. Trash then slowly walks away from you.
You are almost dead sure, now; this is the one who defeated Fair.

The Templar Faction Leader Fair.

"...so?" she wonders, heading for her small, rusted fridge.
"I'm sorry, I've never really been in a situation where I needed to negotiate with someone for their help. Please bear with me."

"I need someone who can take on an ALMA in a straight on fight, yet willing to keep them alive with a minimum of disabled limbs, in order to convince her of the current situation."
I'm not sure we need to warn White exactly, and I'm not sure White will keep her cool well enough even if we do warn her. I suppose even if it's not likely to help we should still warn her, it is the right thing to do...

+ "Or at least keep her from killing me before I can explain things. She is their best weapon after all"

Also rub our head where the can hit. Not because it particularly hurt, but to make sure none of the soda dripped on us. Sticky hair is the worst.

... We know some real jerks don't we?
You follow her. "I want you to escolt me to White, to at least keep me togueter until I warn her about the Second. I think you can manage that."
She takes out a small white box and gives it a go . Trash turns to you, then, a strain of milk still dripping from the corner of her mouth.
"What you wanna warn her about, the nohorns? That she's getting taunted and not to do anything?" she smiles widely at you, yet her eyes remain empty. "I think she knows that already. We'd have her on the news, tearing toy soldiers apart and smashing someone with a rock or something."

You rub your head where the can landed, more out as an alibi for thinking than for cleaning any remainder of sode from your hair.
"Do you think she'll fall for it then? Their taunt?"

Look to Ado, this can't really be all he came here for can it?
"Do you think she'll fall for it, then? Their taunt?"
Trash closes the fridge with the back of her heel, but as she opens her mouth it's Ado's voice you hear. "If she doesn't, the fucks'll just keep on hitting. They don't have to make it obvious, cuz if everyone notices then it's a full blown war against the whole of the surface, so they gotta be subtle." He turns to Trash. "And If she gives them the territory, then, well... let's just say the himehorns are fucked one way or the other."
"You didn't come all this way just to wake me up, did you?" Trash smiles patiently at him, as if about to sink her teeth in him.
...And Ado sighs.
"I've got ass issues." he says, shrugging. "Real ass issues, I've got an appointment and anything."
"My, are you okay?" you ask, genuinely worried.
Trash pauses. "Did you get fucked or something?" she says.
"Besides that," he says,"there is one big fucking reason for me to being here."
He pauses to let that sink. Then he smiles.
"I've been summoned, ladies. To work on a certain, particular proyect."
"Does it involve dildos?" Trash interjects, rising a finger.
And Ado shakes his head, smiling wider at every second.
"Mi Abass managed to turn this water into something you can drink."
"No shit." Trash stands, you feel as if everything got closer.
He nods, over and over, smiling like a shark would. "We are trying to replicate the formula to maximun effect. So, as you can see, this is some big shit I'm into."

Being the ever helpful Fake you are, ask if you can help with this task as you can't do anything for the incredibly adorable himehorn species you grew to like.
Sorry, but who's Mi Abass? I don't seem to remember...

"In that case, I need to get back there to warn her, convince her to let me help with keeping the Second from goading her into a no-win situation, and try to continue the good work that our friend tried to do in the first place."
I just mentioned her a few times over in AaW and Test Quest, so that's only natural.
She's a red-haired scientist with green eyes, one of which is broken and stuck up permanently. Way before this quest started, she patched the Leaderhorn up after she was almost literally blown apart by Fair, and so far she's been up there in the Second developing anima armors, but working on scientific breakthroughts under the table using the equipment only the Second could provide her.

She's nice. =w=
Yeah, see, I don't follow those quests, seeing as they probably don't have as many adorable egg-laying girls in them that I'd like there to be.


=T It's called "Himehorn" Support Center for a reason!
She certainly sounds nice. I'm guessing she's not a fake too or she would have just replaced her eye already.

"If you manage to do that you'll easily be able to pay for that proctologist appointment then~! But I'm not sure how that helps the situation. If the second gets it, they'll still want the food White has and if White gets it then that will be even more reason for the Second to want to attack them. Forgive me if I'm missing something but what is your plan Ado?"
>=T It's called "Himehorn" Support Center for a reason!

>He says after a depressing story arc involving the death of the main character, being exiled out of our home, and learning that one of our former friends is being goaded into a fight that she cannot win that will cause our former home to be either taken over or straight up nuked.

...yeah, clearly you need more, OP. I need my warm, fuzzy feels.
You smile at him, but your smile quickly fades. "If you manage to do that you'll easily be able to pay for that proctologist appointment then. But I'm not sure how that helps with this situation." You raise a finger, he looks at it and so does Trash. "If the Second gets it, they'll still want the food White has, and if White gets then that will be even more reason for the Second to attack them. Forgive me if I'm missing something, but what is your plan, Ado?"
He raises an open palm as if asking for you to stop, then starts walking in circles for a bit.
Finally, he stops, and rises a finger at you.
"Getting my ass fixed. That's the plan." You tilt your head at him, your eyes dimming. "Don't look at me like that, I still got to get a shit job to keep appareances. The Second doesn't know shit about this project because Mi Abass wants it to be free, for everyone, and the Second would hog it just like those fucks at the West House do with the Link. I'm just telling you this because I'm dead fucking retarded and because Trashy here knows I'd beat the fuck out of her if she ever said a word."
Trash nods. "Wutchu gonna do then, I mean, when does this start?"
"A month for now. I'll be working a shit job at day and a secret world-saving project at night, under none other than motherfucking Mi Abass in the flesh. Prototype should be over and done by the end of the month." He turns to you. "As for White and the himmies?" He shakes his head.
You look down...
Going to try >>669973 again.
>>670059 has the right idea. Offer to help if we can, Trying to make this free to everyone is a wonderful thing that Mi Abass is doing and she might just be able to help us with backups and spare parts too
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Then you look up.
"Maybe I could help Mi Abass then? I'm very good at-"
"This a top secret project, lady." For one shining second, he seems like a kid taunting you with his new toy. "Very fucking top secret; every single member of the team is being tracked and kept into account. She took every single measure to prevent the info from spreading, except glueing my mouth togueter because I'm a fuck and no one can do anything about that. So... no. You can't just, like, come out of nowhere to help. This is all already very calculated, I mean I don't know but it's fucking Mi Abass, so it has to be-" He looks up, suddenly, then frowns. "Where the fuck did you get the money, anyway? They must pay shit down here."
You giggle a bit. "Oh' I've been working five jobs."
"You fucking what." says Ado, as Trash stares at you, horrified.
"Well, I'm a Fake." You shrug, smiling. "So I don't ever get tired, and I really like helping people so that's what I've been doing in my spare time."
"That's not spare time." Trash points out actually pointing out with a finger. "That doesn't count as spare time."
Ado swallows."Five fucking jobs, how, when, holy fuck you Fake fucks are going to ruin the market." He looks at the ground for a second. "Which jobs?"
Your sight strays to the ceiling for a bit.
"I'm a bartender in the mornings, I clean houses in the afternoon, I run Fake customer service at night, I'm a waitress during weekends, and I fix electronic devices in the times between." You smile. "Is that odd?"
By now, both Ado and Trash must be putting the most neutral faces they've ever put on.
"Why aren't you working right now?" Trash deadpans, but Ado covers her mouth.
He then looks at you in the eyes. "How much money is that, then?"
"How much is a Elogio these days?"
"Mother of fuck." States Ado in a deadpan tone. "What the fuck are you gonna do with that kind of money?"
I WAS trying to earn enough to start up a, emergency help center here, like the Himehorn Emergency line back on the Greathorn. However, if I can convince White to let me help with keeping the Second from annihilating the Greathorn, then I could convince her and the other Himehorns to let me work the line for them. So I suppose I could use it to hire a few freelancers to help me convince them and/or work at the center. That includes you, Miss Trash.
"... You know, I never really thought about it. I just like helping people and they give me money as thanks. It'd be nice if I could use it to help everyone like Broken Horn did, or like Mi Abass is. What do you think?"
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After really giving it some though, you eyes get fixed on the floor."...You know, I never really though about it. I just like helping people, and they give me money as thanks." You fidget with your fingers. Money was, for you, just a way to recognize your efforts. You don't drink, you don't eat, your main entertainment is people and the few girlfriends you've got laying around, fighting each other. And since electricity is free, and Bashjik lets you sleep at the Whatever, you pretty much have a dragon's hoard unnatended. "It'd be nice if I could use it to help everyone like the broken horn Leader did, or like Mi Abass is. What do you think?"
"That you got to be a serial killer or at least have a corpse under your bed." It's Trash, you notice one of the veins on her neck pulsing. She seems quite fit, overall. "This is too fucking much, where do I sign off, I want my nap."
"She's for real, seriously." Ado sighs. "Trust me, I've been with this toaster for two months, you just got to believe this shit."
Trash pushes Ado aside, then studies you intently from head to toes. Her eyes finally rest in yours. "You wouldn't happen to have one of those hidden protocols, wouldn't ya?"
...well, there's no real reply to that. And it's happening a lot lately; Fakes far and wide suddenly do unexpected things, and most end up with someone getting hurt. Badly. The First had, just one month ago, forced all their Fakes aboard into being reprogrammed with a special program. It eliminated all and every chance for a hidden protocol to trigger... along all of their personality traits. They become like wheels in a clock, doing specific tasks for days on end.
And it's working so far. You sigh... these days, everyone is afraid of Fakes like you.
Yet you smile. "I don't think so! I've been with Leader before, and I've met the Captain, White, and the broken horn Leader." You notice Trash slowly gasp... you press on. "I've never met Leaderhorn, but I don't think I could harm her if I tried."
"She's solid." Ado finishes, for you. "Trust the toaster, that's my motto for you." He turns to you. "You want to help? Here's my advice, go help the fucks below, the ones outside the Greathorn. You wouldn't believe how much they miss the Support Center, and it's only been up for two months."

"But, how?" You blurt out. "We can't access the Link, there's a lot of informa-"
"Yeah, you don't get the Link, big fucking deal. Grab some fucks, rent a ship, a few hovercrafts, and start helping people like you love to. The Second can't go all out with the Greathorn because they don't want the surface fucks against them, because those are the fucks that get the actual resources. Get them by your side, get them with the Greathorn, and the Second will have to fuck with the whole world in order to get that sunken city." He pauses, then bits his lips. "I'm so fucking brilliant. Trash, suck my dick, quickly."
"Alright." She shrugs as she kneels. "I warn you, I'm still having mental fits sometimes."
"Oh god wait get the-"
"Nono, it's ok, cmere-"
Your mind wanders towards the surface as Trash grabs onto Ado's pants for dear life.
I'm supposing this is the end for tonight, then?

"If you would like, I could help stimulate your prostrate in order to give you a more satisfactory experience, Ado."
I don't think his butt can take that now. =T
"Don't worry, Ado. I'll be gentle..."
We wont be able to do as much, and maybe buying a smaller ship and insurance would be a better plan, but there is still plenty we can do even without the Link, an Arma, and the Greathorn.

"Ships and a radio shouldn't be too hard to get, I'll just need, as you put it Ado, 'Some Fucks'. You both count right? How about it, do you want to help people and get paid to do it?"

Also completely ignore the situation Ado got himself into. Maybe, just maybe the threat of seizure induced castration will get him to think a bit before he he says rude things.
Wait, are we still going?

If that's the case, I suppose I'll go with >>670433.

Also, let's see if Preah and Robert might be willing to help. It would be safer then Fake hunting, and even if they only do it part time, they could still earn a bit extra for the work.
You "hmm", as Ado threatens Trash with a dirty pan. "Ships and a radio shouldn't be too hard to get, I'll just need, as you put it-" You wonder if Ado is listening, since Trash is now on top of him, taking of his shirt, "'Some Fucks'. You both count, right? How about it, do you want to help people and get paid for it?"
Trash slams Ado face down against the floor. "Pay me and I'll do shit for you." She yawns before Ado's yelling. "I like simple things like that, it's the world that gets so complicated." She turns to look at you. "I happen to know a few fucks you might want to consider, I pride myself in my select choice of premium fucks." You hear Ado praying. "None of which wants to be here anymore."
"Thank you, I will." you smile at her, then turn at the red-faced Ado. "Ado, how many "Fucks would do, in your opinion?"
"...It's more about the "quality" of the Fucks," he manages, his voice slim, "but If you wanna get this shit done fast, get five, pay them a month, and tell them- oh god, don't do that, and tell them that, if this shit works, they can keep the job."
Trash sits over his bare back, his pants already all the way down. "That's what I'm saying, it's a good plan." She smiles at you. "Just make sure they don't want to be here anymore. Well, unless you got someone in mind already."
Your mind wanders to Preah and Robert, the Fake Hunters. They almost got killed by an Arma Hunter, sure, but those kill Armas... maybe they could help. You know Preah is coming town tomorrow to bring you the rum, so there's your chance.
Hmm. Is there anything else you might be forgetting?
Agreed, Preah and Robert could be good workers along with having their own ship
Maybe our Haremhorn co-worker if she knows any horns that wouldn't mind helping people for pay? I'm figuring about six to eight people total, for a crew of three or four each per boat. Two for rescue/repair, one for medical or boat defense, and the ship's captain.

(captcha requires boat pictures)
Repair tools and manuals, flotation devices, distress beacons, basic furnishings, a headset and swivel chair for the radio operator, rations and water, weaponry to deter pirates and boarders, medical supplies...

Also, do any of our Fucks have medic skills. Generally these kind of disasters involve people getting hurt so having someone around to patch people up seems like a good idea
So that's three votes for this quest sucking.

Honestly GM if you are just gonna do whatever the fuck you want, write a story instead of a quest.
Finally through with every single quest done by Haremhorn in the past.

And I have to say...
Dear Trash, don't you dare appear without the "harambe forever" squad. If they are still around.

... Maybe I could try putting it all into a timeframe.
Or maybe OP could tell me.

Ask Ado and Trash if they could assist in the acquisition of certain items, talk with them on what to purchase, if they got additional ideas on what we could require.
And in case of Trash, as she is clearly the one who has been on the Second the longest, if she knows any "vendors" which would "sell" their goods for a "low price".
Yes, that kind of price. She has the correct "currency", so why not use your advantages? WE might not know she blackmails people, but Trash HAS to be aware of her actions.
>Finally through with every single quest done by Haremhorn in the past.
>every single quest
>every single one

I'm sorry! I'm sorry you had to go through this! ;w:
You must be so confused! Please leave your room and get a hug as soon as possible!
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Couldn't think of which image to use, so I decided to go with the classic.
Does that include Test Quest? :Q
Yeah... about that...
Are there two Preahs running around, or...?
What happened to Pedro?
I knew it, I got so much to answer now. T_T
Just make a list and fill my ask with it if you feel like, we are going to flood this thread otherwise.
Don't you worry, some questions will be answered during this thread... and the next... and the one after that...
Don't worry though, I'll go easy on you. =w=

I'll wait until we are running again, and then everyone is here who needs to be here.

While I'm at it... did Ado ever had a run-in with Cross Boss? If so, it could expain
>Real ass issues
>Getting my ass fixed

...yeah, that's a start.
I'm so sorry.
Not at all! Ado's butt issues come from a discussion he had with a hornmother that steemed from him not understanding the feeling of laying an egg. So he ate. And ate. And ate a lot more. Then, a month later, he walked up to Mina, all sweaty, and told her he was ready. She didn't understand by the time, but less than five minutes went by and she was screaming at the phone.

They had to send White. Regardless, Ado was proud.
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This is... marginal... better than what I belived it to be?
...Or is it acctually worse?

... What's her name then?
Wow. I was just hoping it was a horrible metaphor. That's... impressively dumb.

Also, where did you find everything? Sup/tg/? I figure I should probably tag everything too, just to get a feel for the setting. Trash quest is the junky other thing in the same universe I've read even part of.
Yeah, wanna have the links I used?
and of course, yours truly

And please tell me if I missed some quest.
So I can waste more precious life-time on becoming an expert on the most interesting threads on /qst/.
...I have no fucking idea what I read, but I assumed that... Ado was laying an egg?

What the fuck was I on? Where can I get more?
Haremhorn, sorry to bother you, man, but just dropping by to tell you that due to the format of publishing - online with no paragraph indent - offering you some advice to put spaces between your paragaphs. It's not as though this is a printed book and you have them to see where it starts and where it ends, the format of the site doesn't allow you to flow as well as it should.
I'll try that! =w=

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