Oh shit nigger(s) it's the aftermath of Civ Thing and all the tribes who inhabitited the nondescript generic fantasy land has all been enslaved (in varying degrees) by The Kingdom ruling the aforementioned nondescript generic fantasy land.Now they must either accept their fate or break out and free their own tribe. Other tribes optional.Your current protagonist is a member of the goblin tribe, which was absorbed into The Kingdom and now live as citizens of the KingdomYou are also secretly another heir to the manlet throne, Prince Imp II.Currently you're in the middle of a regular work day at the library, what do you do?Roll 1d100, who gets the highest number is the picked action.Previous threads:http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2Ahttps://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>637485Punch self in face
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>637485decide to have lunchbreak
>>637489Right, timee to check out the lunch you brought: an apple. Because you're a cheap asshole
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>637493Eat appleRead a book too while punching self in face
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>637485Search the archive for advanced technology books
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>637500nigga, we already know how to readlet's look in the library for advanced Kingdom technology>>637497
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>637500check your tasklist for today
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>637500Welp...>>637497
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>637507Let's collect those new shipment of books from the mailwho else is working with us?
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>637507>>637497And read them while performing your tasks
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>637507Putting books away and showering are the same task? Man, the boss is weird
>>637485damn I was gonna do homework but I guess that's in the backburner now. ORCS REPRESENT
>>637512ayyy fellow greenskinshelp us manlets out
>>637513no worries greenskin, we'll make sure that you guys don't have your protag die this time
Let's see where this leads us.
>>637510Sadly you do not work in a library that has access to these kinds of tomes. You work in The Library Of Novelty Instruction Tomes, which houses such classics like "How to tie your shoes" and "How to look slightly less depressed" and "How to pretend you're pretending" and the ever popular "How to scam people"Anyway you're doing your tasks. Which firstly, invovle picking up the new shipment
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>637516Pick up the books easily because we've been working outalso, see what we gotwe might have gotten a rare book, so let's roll for it
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>637516just read a book on "how to not be a retard" then while doing that.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>637516How do we go about getting access to the other sections of the archives?
>>637517Roll 2d100 for rare book First is picking second is result1-59: normal book60-79: uncommon book80-99: rare book100: ancient artifact tome of secrets
Rolled 4, 93 = 97 (2d100)>>637522TRIPLEDIGITS
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>637516Question if a monk becomes a paladin, does he become that monk type in the robes like frier tuck?
Rolled 89, 87 = 176 (2d100)>>637522
Rolled 53, 41 = 94 (2d100)>>637522Since pally orc fucked it up I'll make it worse
>>637525Yes, if he did smonk training instead of paladin or cleric training
>>637528it's still a Rare Book, I didn't fuck nothing
>>637529So what does that make WanPan?
>>637526Doot Doot Doo Doo
>>637530My bad thought it was 90-99
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>637532AW SHIT NIGGALET'S READ ITwhile putting said books in the correct bookcase alphabetically
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>637532Isnt it nice that we don't have to kill off main characters to move to the next?READ THE BOOK, FIND ITS SECRETS!
>>637536"Step 1: Find ancient artifact""Step 2: Dig up said artifact""Step 3: Pat yourself on the back as you have unearthed an ancient artifact"Then the rest of the pages are just doodles of the author digging stuff
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>637541How good are these doodles?
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>637541Treasure Hunter perk gained
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>637541>>637543This, they might be really detailed drawings
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>637541Screw that and go back to your job
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>637541Gain new skill Digging.
Rolled 6, 3 + 1 = 10 (2d6 + 1)dice mix up test
>>637545Oh yes, the best
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>637549guess you can't do stuff like dice+2d6+1d10>>637550Does this book have any maps?
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>637550oh shitlooks even better than OP's drawingswe gain the treasure hunter perkfrom reading the book>>637544
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>637550draw dicks on everyone in the book then put it in its propper spot
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>637550who wrote this? embark on a quest to call him a faggot after work
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>637553>>637556
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>637556Take a sick day to go look for said treasure
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>637556Organize the rest of the books while punching self in the face to get stronger
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>637556And also gain perk Self Puncher because we punching on our face.
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>637562Take a day off you earned it
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>637562Scroll down task list, also take shower
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>637562Scream in autstic rage and arrange the book in correct order.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>637562ask around for ancient burried treasures, maybe someone knows something
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>637562lets find another book to draw more dicks inwhat picture books are there to choose from
>>637563Not according tothe Day Off Progress Meter
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>637569Work your way through the archival hierarchy in order to gain access to books detailing advanced tech.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>637569>>637564
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>637569>>637567
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>637569Try writing own book. A book about How to Punch Yourself in the Face.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>637575well, that's easyGather up all the manlets in the Kingdom and declare yourself King Imp the II since the other heirs are dead
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>637575look for book about thrones, maybe we can build one
>>637576"pfffy, nigga pls""We didn't vote for you"
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>637580but there's only one person to vote on and that's me.or are you gonna stare wistfully into the sunset again and be useless?
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>637580You don't vote in a Monarchy you uncultured foolts
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>637580Yes you did, it was back in '94
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>637580That went horribly.>>637570
>>637583"We know, but back in the tribal days we were an elective monarchy""Anyway, since you mentioned that, this is our King now"
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>637590Get sad
Rolled 50 (1d100)How can I convince you guys to vote me for King?
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>637590>>637587
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>637590fuck it, found your own kingodm with blackjack and hookers.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>637590Try to form your own merchan empire and become King of Merchant instead.CAPITALISM HO!!!
>>637595yeah! Who needs those jerks! You'll have your own kingdom!
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>637600Start build it out books
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>637600Quit your job and convince some manlets to follow you outside the wall to start a new village.>>637601also use books for construction
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>637600>>637594
>>637602"Hell no faglord. Why the ass would we go back outside to the shitty wilds with yo bitch ass?""Didn't you sayd you'd found your own kingdom, lmao"
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>637605Slap that nigga with the heaviest book you gotthreaten to do it to the others if they don't follow you
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>637605>>637603
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>637605Didn't Yo momma die in them wilds nigga?
>>637606But the heaviest book you got can't be lifted by you either since you're a tiny manlet
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>637611Work hard, gain money, montage scene showing how we rise through the library's ranksBecause we'll BUY our kingdom through sweat and tears
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>637611Slap that nigga with the heaviest book we CAN LIFT then
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>637611Invite some goblins to peek on goblin wimmen showers or somethingmanly bonding activity!
>>637614"Oh I'm sorry! I didn't our "future king" is also a huge perrrrv""Get lost ya sicko"
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>637615call them out on their hentai collection that they borrowed from the library
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>637615Fly away towards the sunset instead.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>637615It's not like you don't "borrow" sick fetish porn "articles", I know you do, fagballs
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>637615Bitchlspa their shit.
>>637616"We have no idea what you're talking about"
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>637620wait a minute, I thought there was a Kobbo and Gobbo race war? Why are you two pals again?
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>637620THE FUCK IS THAT?WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?
>>637621"cuz imps suck, lmao"
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>637624Call them bitchesSay they're too used to living under the King that they forgot the basics of Manlet culture'We all equal down here' , 'tall people are assholes'
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>637624Ignite an Impo v Kobbo/Gobbo Race War. Actually just fly like 2 feet above them and ask how's the weather down there
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>637624Ask where you can find Urk the Half-Orc-Goblin guy who still owes us golds.
>>637625"Yeah and you can fly to ba taller than us, so that makes you a huge asshole""Like gaping huge"
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>637634Spit fire on themliterally and figuratively
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>637636Fuck them lets go get access to some actual tech books
Rolled 64 (1d100)Then poop on them>>637636
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>637636Enough messing around.Ask them how we can get their vote so we can get back on the throne.
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>637636Reign(Rain) some fucking leadership on them, you useless piece of shit. Show them you're worth following. A chicken in every pot, etc. Show them your newly developed muscles after all that time you spent at the gym.
>>637640"I dunno, what can you provide?"
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>637645Mouth full of shit open wide fuck boy
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>637645I wont abandon you guys to fight cloud people like your current king
>>637647"Iunno, cloud people are pretty big assholes""LMAO LOOK AT THOSE FAGS" - Cloud Person
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>637650Tell them we'll keep it sunny and remove the cloud people. Also tell them Kobold Goddess is in need of help and we need to unite to get her back.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>637650DEATH TO THE CLOUD ASSHOLES
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>637650They fight for gods who dont care about you. They're tall assholes
Why haven't we read "How to scam people"? It might be useful
>>637654"And we used to fight for dragons who don't care bout us. Personally I think humans have been gud so far""I converted to The Holy Church so now God do care about me!""I'm an atheist so i don't really care either way""Humans also don't want to bathe us in their semen so they can pollute our gene pool so that's a huge plus for me"
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>637656Call them faggot hypocrite cuckold cowards. The Goblins were the ones who decided to procreate with dragon semon which made us and the kobolds.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>637656Tell them they could be making inventions instead of working in a sweat shop.We could be out finding treasure like GIANT ROBOTS Do you want to be boring the rest of your lives or explore?
>>637660"What sweatshop? I work in a weapons forge""I work in a bakery""I'm part of the Royal War Machines Development Team""I'm part of an Adventuring Guild"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>637665We're being used as target practice by others. Also what have you even adventured.
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>637665Don't you all feel a guilt about us being the only race that got spared from slavery? The Orcs, our fellow greenskins are still enslaved at the arena. YOU'RE ALL TRAITORS TO THE MANLET RACE IF YOU THINK LIVING HERE IS GOOD. I'D RATHER DIE A FREE MAN THAN TO WORK UNDER THE HUMANS.FUCKING ROLL TO CONVINCE THEM.
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>637665We can build a giant war robot with inbuild weapon factory and bakery, at same time we can go for adventures.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>637665Don't you want better jobs?
>>637667"Just recently we pilfered a tomb inhabited by evil beasts and got sweet sweet loot. Including this suit of ancient power armor"
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>637678GIVE POWER ARMOUR
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>637678>>637679WE DIG GIANT ROBOTSSOMEONE MAKE US A MOLE FUR COAT
>>637679"pfffft, buzz off m8""Yeah, you gonna have to step back, imp boy"
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>637682Tell them you've read the book on how to pilot giant robots
>>637682screw the other manlets, lets try to find manlet rider or whatever his name was, he might be able to convince the others that leaving is a good choice
>>637682Come on, gizza quick go in itPromise I won't scratch it or nothin
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>637684>>637682forgot roll
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>637685forgot to roll
>>637683"please, that's a lie and you know it"
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>637688>>637684
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>637688well, if the other manlets aren't gonna helplet's go with >>637684
>>637689Hmm yes, that manlet rider guy. Heard he was another heir to the manlet throne but went crazy. Is surprisingly popular with other manlets for some reason. If you remember correctly he got into an accident and now his whereabouts are unknown. If you can find and sway him to your cause, the other manlets would surely follow
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>637695We're jealous of the other manlet's solo progress. Time to work on some tech of our own.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>637695begin the search for himbut first we should make our own superhero outfit and then try to become his sidekick
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>637695Start playing his theme song to attract him
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>637698supporting this
>>637697Right, time to brainstorm some costume ideas. You return home to your Vintage Shroom Ink and "paper" to do this
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>637703Some sort of weeb armor like the one King Kobs the I had
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>637703Sleek tech armor to go with the cyborg theme
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>637703Oh shit. Uh, BATMAN. MAKE IT LOOK LIKE BATMAN.
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>637703Black, with spikesLiterally Edgemeister III, the armour
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>637710>>637704Make another design on another shroom paper
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>637710hmm yes very impressivelet's fuckin build itWITH LASERS
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>637710Red vison, more tech. Also hidden weapon compartments and a sleek toolbelt, lasers and a lightning gun
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>637710Make it blue black and green and base it off Kamen Rider RX
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>637722Make it sleeker and blue like a ninja instead.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>637722ah yescyborg samurailet's do it
>>637722It has been about 11 minutes? is OP ok?
>>637734I kept getting the CAPTTCHA wrongrepeatedlyFor 10 minutes
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>637735neat, let's construct a makeshift version of that.
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>637735If we can't become king, can we become a sub-king aka a Duke? Still rule the manlets but under the King?
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>637734Thinking up costumes is hard. Like mechs. Give him a bit>>637735Lock in
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>637742Try harder.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>637742paint it blue.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>637742work on the components little by little.
>>637748Work on the components little by little instead of building the whole thing at once.Start with the weapons.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>637748Great. You fixed the aesthetics and not much else. You get emotional with failure and power up
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>637749
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>637748Fuck let's ask those weird manlet otakus, who make cosplay shit, how they make their costumes so good
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>637748Let's go look for a Wizard to enchant it to not be shit
>>637752Right, weapons,....what are your weapons?
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>637758Electric Metal Skewers.d
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>637758Physics gun, Laser, 2-handed Gravity Baton
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>637758A staff that can transform into spear, three-section-staff and glaive.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>637758What weapons does the other hero have? Let's be thematically the opposite.
>>637766This looks good.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>637766Perfection!!!Ask weaponsmith gobbo if he can build it.
before we do anything crazy let's go to whatever job office there is in town and request a job change from library assistant to part-time hero or some shit. We need to get paid for this.
>>637770"Oh? So Mr. Independence wants my help does he? Well..."[laughs]
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>637774"I bet you can't build it because you suck!"
>>637775"Bitch please, I built like 5 of them while I was laughing at you"
Suddenly thread fall silent, clearly everyone has left and so should I
>>637779seduce the weaponsmith
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>637779Educate him on the health benifits of eating fruit.Shout out to the kingdom "Good Morning Vietnam".
>>637785"THE FUCK IS THAT YOU RETARD"
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>637788>>637739
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>637788fuck it, let's just go to the job registry whatever and officially change jobs to a hero
Ya know, thread has slowed way down now, let's just save it for later
>>637788Question if he's ever picked up a book in his life.Bullshit the explanation of the magical Vietnamise kingdom, where they eat dogs and elect leaders through their ability to fight like savages.
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>637798Proceed to run with pants around ankles.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>637798Noooooo!>>637788Buy one of those weapons from the smith
>>637798yeah sure, save.
>playing as boring ass imp king instead of Manlet Rider V2regular manlets suuuck
>>637806>Kills manlet rider
>>637815that was Canon
>>637788dice+1d100Steal one of the weapons from the weaponsmith
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>6378281) thread is ended for now2) dice+1d100 goes in Options field of reply
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>637828I hate myself...
>>637823Nah attacking the King in the first place is sstill all you
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>637832no one expects instadeath result even from that.And really, at first King was surprised, we never knew our true powerlevel, so I assumed it decent enough to not be killed at least.I clearly knew that we'll lose battle, then I wanted to go to training and hiding.
>>637836The King literally destroyed a massive skyscraper sized construct that had the power of all the tribes.
>>637840And?I fail to see the issue here.
>>637840Yet the King said "No! It cannot be!" Etc etc, as if he was a threat. No one saw that coming.
Didn't know a new thread was upI was refreshing the previous thread for new replies for half a day lmao
>>637898Replace the manlet rider with a lady bug and you would get the same reaction
Op ded now
>>638297He went to bed cuz yall were too slow with replies
>>637898And then someone replied with "he's just kidding but is still impressed"That should have been the sign that we were out of our league
Damn. OP keeps on making threads that I miss out on.
>>638574Everyone missed this thread.
>>638591Should've made a link in the previous thread tbhfamilaminam
So I got bored and read some of the old threads I forgot how much of a dick rock was and how broken the barbs were before we got curbstomped by the king
>>638686I remember Rock talking about committing quest suicide and just leaving the game because he kept on ruining it for other barbarians. I forgot what that was about.
>>638703So far from the threads I have read threw he's just been a hypocriteOr he doesn't actually think the barbs did nothing wrong In which case, good baiting good sir,good baiting
>>638811Remider that dragons did nothing wrong
>>639012>deletes roll and proceeds to Jew everyone
>>639022Everyone had the resident dickFor the bards it was rockFor the dragons it was hornyFor the elves... Elves didn't do much did they?For orcs it was business orcsKing gob accidentally became the dick when he almost broke the alliance (didn't mater in the end,brabs were baisclly invincible till the king came)
Talking about dragon... is Brood Mother still alive?Want to see more reverse dragon rape.
>>639054The worst we did was doing a night attack on the barbarians but that was done in retaliation and without much opposition from other Elves if I recall.>>639057It's literally only Dragon Messiah left.
>>639057All drags are dead execpt for messiah Never underestood why they kept researching new magics when it was stated that they suck at that and are good at improving current magic
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>639072Maybe Dragon Messiah should breed with distant dragon cousin to make more dragons...Otherwise he make babies with humans, but it would be fun if he make babies with orc or elf...
>>639102Why are you rolling Besides that would lead to half dragons like kobolds and impsThey need divine intervention to truly come back
>>639102I suggested earlier that Dragon Messiah should breed with dragon kin like wyverns. Even if they were infertile hybrids like mules it would still lead to a Draconic race. Dragon Messiah would just but king who's immortal and constantly mates with female wyverns to make half-dragon half-wyvern beings.
>>639115Strange... I didn't remember to try rolling...But anyway if the paladin defeated Brock, Dragon Messiah could become the new dragon god or ask Almighty very nicely if he could make new dragons who is less likely to sucide because of "Roll for anal circumference" joke.
>>639143I think that unless the almighty intervenes we gonna get rapped If he does intervene there's a lot of holes that need filling There's no dragon GodThere's no kobold goddessBrock is goneOrc God is probably deadTree God is deadThere is some guys who can fill roles(salt satan is basically just a much angrier and weaker Brock)
>>639205Assuming that all the gods are dead, I do think there are ways to solve this. At least for the a Elves and Dragons that is. Dragon messiah is obviously the dragon messiah and the smiling son was conceived while Tree God was possessing the smiling one as a avatar meaning that he carries the seed of Tree God. There's a possibility that these characters could ascend and take the place of gods for their people. As for Orcs they're probably fucked and will just convert to the paladin religion. Barbarians would probably go the same route or just keep worshipping Brock since Rock still hasn't gotten the memo. Manlets have kind of always been agnostic assholes who worship the God of whatever people are ruling over them.
>>639250Well kobold goddess But there was that thing with messiah that one time But that's gone nowKobold goddess is dead or Brock is going to marry herForcefully
>>639299>Brock is going to marry her>ForcefullyI'm will not surprise that Brock will say... "I will ROCK your world with my BONER!"
>>639312And then manlet ridering intensifies as the goblin rider along with his imp side kick show up
>>639054King Gobbo cheated near the end pretending to be "gobbo on the trail" and forgot to switch IDsSolid was fine. He was just battle thirsty. Canon literally tried to commit suicide and make the total human population into skeletons and make us lose. He was salt hungry before this quest started
I hope that OP continues this quest as Imp king tomorrow.
>>639885He will.Imp Prince
>>639881I thought Rock did something much worse and he was going to leave the quest at one point. Is it just my imagination or not?
>>639931Yea. We attacked the elf forest before we had meteor. We didnt even scratch their defenses. Then he tried to raid them on foot, basically wasting a full turn.Middle Eastern Rocker and I scolded him, then he said Rock Throw was law amd got salty when we decided to stop raiding despite rock throwing and said he was gonna kill himself off.I didnt allow him to kill himself cuz i didnt wanna waste a valuable turn on catapaulting barbatroopers. Orcs died from throwing each other. Catapaulting barbs was a much worse idea.In the end he contained his murderboner thru whatever meditation he went thru.
>>640022I remember that now. He kept on trying to push stupid ideas which got a lot of Barbarians killed. I honestly have no idea why he hates the Elves so much in particular. Either took his character way too far or is just incredibly ignorant/autistic.PS I'm hemp chewing elf/elf without hemp
>>639881The reason I hate rock is because of all the shit he talks,how broken the barbs were in the beginning,all the dice God fuckery, and the mass amounts of hypocrisy. It just fueled my salt tanks way too muchI don't even count canon as a barb anymore, he ascended into a completely different beingI forgot about the whole same fag situation,must be one of the factors as to why Prince gob died,excluding canon fuckery
>>640074If it makes you feel any better he lives in the hell hole that is Siberia and you can make gulag jokes at him which annoy him.
>>640052There's also the fact that whenever someone else called the barbs out on there shit(murderhoboing everything) he would say that they did nothing wrong and they started itEven though you guys invaded the elves with the intent to rape there womenEven though you guys attacked the dragon who was drawing the map for no reason The orcs were understandable but when they tried to patch things up you just tried to kill themSome of you were probably embracing your role of current antagonist but rock was being fucking unbearable
>>639054>For the bards it was rockwut?
>>640125>Some of you were probably embracing your role of current antagonist but rock was being fucking unbearableI sense salt flowing
>>640136>You talking shit at every chance>You making up excuses saying that you did nothing >You calling prejudice on the op even though your easily the most favored by your God and get the most bonuses >Constantly bragging about rock throwing I hope you were baiting If you were good jobI'm mad
>>640156I'm from siberia anywayhonestly tho, calm yo tits. it was fun civ game precisely thanks to barbs
>>640165Pic relatedBut seriously I'm just as mad. The only reason for any of that shit really was to make a cool story. Fucking op and his antics, goddamnit.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>640165>talking shitI hope you don't mean "chicken brains, wusses, etc" being talking shit. That's was just banter>didn't do nuffin'ambitions, son. learn references>favored by Godand half game in our favor bonus was taken away cause of emoticon. yay. Then orcs become way more powerful than we are. Maybe you should be more creative instead of endless turtling?>still jelly about rock throwing cultureliterally uncultural savage, have a rock
>>640166>humies having a blast>literally everyone else is complainingI don't have an image for how retarded you are right now.Try baiting harder. Being too stupid gives you away
>>640193I'm Dark Hero you need, but not deserve
>>640183I'm not even apart of any race,I'm a lurkerIt just that for whatever reason you pissed me off I know about the didn't do nuffin memeI realize that most of the shit you said were jokesIt's just that you were really,really obnoxious about itAlso let go of Brock,it's over. He doesn't need you anymore. He's a strong independent immortal
>>640239>It just that for whatever reason you pissed me offsucks to be you then, cause I'm not going anywhere>Also let go of Brock,it's over. He doesn't need you anymore. He's a strong independent immortalhe is just misunderstood
>>640252I know he's just a growing deity but kidnapping his brothers daughter after killing him and either killing her or preparing to rape her is not the way to go about itHe needs to go see a god therapist or he needs God jesus
>>640275>I know Rock's just a growing man but kidnapping his brothers daughter after killing him and either killing her or preparing to rape her is not the way to go about it>Rock needs to go see a god therapist or he needs God jesusFTFY
>>639054>>640074>Canon literally tried to commit suicide and make the total human population into skeletons and make us lose. He was salt hungry before this quest started>I don't even count canon as a barb anymore, he ascended into a completely different beingyou know what, in the past I usually lurk and only rarely post every now and then to try to mix the adventure up and send it off the rails or change shit up at the minimum, only reason I have posted as much as I did in Civ thing was because it was not your typical adventure and I posted heaps in this one early because it was perfect shitposting/salt potential due to how invested people still were from civ thing.Though too be honest to give you an Idea of what I am usually like, when I play DnD with my brother/friends I ALWAYS am the DM because they don't let me just be a player because when I was I was always fucking with the DM's plans and really pushing their skills to its limit.For example I came up with a perfect and plausible plan tame DnD dragons by beating the living fuck out of their heads and using a healing spell on them repeatedly till we had a brain damaged dragon that could be tamed, then forcing it to breed with a dog so we had a bunch of tamed dog/dragon hybrids that we could theoretically ride into battle against the generic ancient evil we were fighting.but I didn't get to finish that plan because the friend who was DMing at the time just went "fuck it" and stopped wanting to DM with me because I would pull that type of shit all the time and just create more work for whoever was the DM at that time
>>640165To defend the Barbs, we offended our god the least and asked for ways to please him instead of asking for shit every turn (elves), jewing him (draggos) or ignore them entirely (gobbos)So of course we got a shit ton of benefits. He liked us and gave us cool shit at a discount and never argued prices. Seriously. We lost Brocks favor cuz of Dice God and could only get it back for 600 skulls. We never crybabied or fought about it. We just patched our own wounds and found other ways to beef up.We legit WORKED on being stronger after being nerfed.Also, we weren't evil. We just made Barb God happy, who just happened to be evil. We didnt know.
>>640417To be fair, a lot the shit we asked for was to defend ourselves from mainly from you guys and kind of the dragons.>Earth pillars>Spikey vines>Durable wood
>>640417Which makes the salt and the cry babying worse. I don't think your understanding the exponential levels of salt content we're dealing with here.
>>640456Oh. I understand that. But you also bitched for rerolls. So did gobbos.Humans never did that.You asked for free magic each turn. We had to hunt for it.>>640462Course I do. Barbs handled it like adults, however. The rest of you acted like spoiled brats.Aside from Orcs. Which is why we tried to murder them. They were a legit threat.
>>640366TLDR: I am a shit tier player and much better as the guy in charge.I mostly lurk these threads to look for Ideas/characters/plots to take inspiration from for my games with my friends and have in fact dropped my name 'Canon' altogether at this point because there is no reason to continue using it so it is getting shelved until the next Civ thing
>>640482I wasn't a hippy elf. I was a Jew lizard. there was literally no alternative for magic gains other than praying for us. It was designed so that if we played a certain way we were guaranteed to get handicapped.The only reason we ended up playing the little bitch game was because you fucking assholes forced us into turtleneck for protection when you wiped the nigger loving floor with us in a 4v1 fight.The only reason op allowed this is because stronk man cewl an no puss puss as well as he just wants a good story to tellLiterally fuck everything I am fuming to the moon with rage.
>>640619The salt... The salt never changes.
>>640619Was the coalition battle before or after the barbarians started using meteor spam? That's one of the reasons they were seen in a negative light by others and why they posed a large threat by essentially spamming nukes.
>>640677before, that's the fun thing.everyone hated us before we got meteors
>>640677We got meteor after the coalition. The coalition was why we got meteor
>>640691>>640694You guys did already have a giant slingshot which for all intents and purposes the same thing which is just camping.
>>640691One of my better turtle schemes I do saym and you insisted my turtling would get us nowhere.
>>640713Slingshot actually only got 1 kill that while game. And it was the elvish night raid. We missed every other time and the elf forest defense was stronger. Meteor was far more powerful.
>>640724It was a prelude of things to come.
>>640718but we didn't need as much for meteor, I was opposed to grind 600+ skulls or whatever for better brock favor>>640713that thing was mostly useless tho
>>640730I think you are grasping straws>>640731Also true.
>>640740>A way to shoot giant rocks at other tribes from your base with a reduced chance of immediate retaliation Both the giant slingshot and meteor were camping tools that the barbarians used to threaten other nations.
>>640760Meteor and the slingshot also used manpower and left them vulnerable to attacks which no one bothered to exploit
>>640760we never threaten anyone tho, I just never liked hippies.I also love how everyone forgets that barbs were the race which got massive hit by winter regardless of preparations. Which happened after reroll cause op forgot right dice numberdo you really expect that we could catch up with other races by mere turtling?
>>640789Dragons got hit 50% as well
>>640792forgot that, maybe that's why we never attacked them directly ever?
>>640771I know that a portion of the tribe had to focus on the meteor spell but how did that leave them open to attack? They were still in the village which had physical barriers around it and would've taken time to overcome. If you're talking about what I think you are, then a tribe would've needed to have soldiers laying in wait right outside the barbarian village as the meteors was being cast. Is there something I'm missing here?
>>640800I actually dont know. After thinking about i seem to be mistaken with my claim.
Can we get the factory owner from the earlier adventure involved? The one who now has tons of gold after the earlier gob's show for the king (the one Rock Solid got killed).
>>640872Why would a factory owner be in a library?I dunno guides on how to jew?
What the ass is with all this arguing, I thought Civ Thing was over already
>>640997Just reminiscing about the past.
>>641007kAnyway who still in here for thread to continue
>>641015Civ Thing discussion is probably gonna be a lingering thing in your threads for a bit.Time to stop another manlet from dying.
>>641015I am ready to harvest saltbeen up thinking of ways to do so without killing the main characters as well I have something special in mind if the situation goes the way I am hoping it does
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>641015me and my rock
>>637796And so you went to the job registry
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>641104Wait a minute is that the wizard that gave us a house?Does he just handle all the clerical shit in the kingdom?
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>641104apply as hero with a very serious face and request bunch of sidekicks
>>641110"Ah you have mistaken me with my brother"
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>641128is beard and hat one of qualifications for a clerk?anyway - >>641112
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>641128So you basically got the same beard. Haircut. And glasses as your brother?Are you obsessed bro?
>>641135"No, those are the qualifications for a wizard. We just happen to also be clerks"
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>641143can you make me a HERO, wizard??if you can not, you are just clerk
>>641148"The question you should be asking is can YOU make yourself a hero"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>641156I can! Prove it to him by showing your super hero costume.
>arguing ends and suddenly everyone left the threadreally guys
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>641170strike a super hero pose to convince him
>>641171Why do I bother anymoooooooooooore
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>641184time to go back on /v/ qst is too slow during day>>641196add explosions on background via spitting fire
>>641201More like go back to sleep, goodnight.
>>641208do you operate only during night? Don't forget we are in same timezone
>>641210It was figure of speech, It's noon here but I'm going to sleep anyway
>>641212good night, my my beloved qm
>>641208It's night here, fuck when we were on v this was never a problem
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>641196Just convince him that we wanted to adventure around and beat JUSTICE into evildoers, without being paladins.
>>641286yeah but I think going back to /v/ would unfortunately kill the threads for goodLately they must have gotten new mods or something because they have been extremely delete happy for even threads that are on topicand considering that Notapaladin had trouble in the past with his threads on /v/ getting deleted he probably would not be able to even get them off the ground before they get delted
You guys start the thread 2 hours after i go to bed. Ugh
>>641338Happens to me all the time now.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>641196>>641310
>>639073Because diversity is strength, goyim
who's still in here
Well I'm actually awake now if we wanna kill a manlet.
>>641938Nobody knows what anybody wants
>>641940Isn't that the wonders of these threads.Also I forgot the not in "not kill a manlet" there.
>>641945Suuure you did
>>641950Well it's not like it matters with no one else here.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>641950Seduce the weaponsmith!
>>641957the one from earlier
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>641957BECOME A HEEEEROnananaaa na na aa na naa na na na
>>641965"Well, do you have the qualifications to be a hero?"
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>641957>>641961
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>641967No
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>641967Show him your power of seduction
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>641967ALL I NEED IS HOTBLOODNESS
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>641967I need a weapon
>>641972Yeah that aint working
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>641980pose for him
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>641980ONLY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT YET CHANNELING THE FULL POWER OF IMP SEDUCTION
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>641980Show him your dexterity by stealing his glasses
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>641980Cry ourselves that we've failed and fall into depression
>>641984...again, I mean. a better pose.
>>641984>>641993a sexy pose
>>641984Still not working
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>642008manifest powers through sheer force of will
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>642008>>641988
>>642012Willing powers into existence, doesn't seem to be working so far
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>642020TRY HARDER
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>642020The wizard is aroused by this
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>642020Ask him if you've already proven yourself
>>642024The dice god clearly wants us to manifest powers, OP. Pls.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>642020just become unofficial hero
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>642035The mental strain kills youDEAD END
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>642035*FART*
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>642045Awaken fart-based superpowers
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>642045I doubt they'll allow you in this place anymore
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>642045Something happens
>>642052"Congratulations, based on your performance, you are now a sewer cleaner, enjoy your new job"You are then transferred into the sewers
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>642060the radioactive sewage transforms you in ways you can scarcely comprehend
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>642060Joke's on them. You love sewer levels.
>>642063Why are they always so spacious anyway
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>642067find a poncho for disguise like in Metal Gear Rising
>>642069Now where would you find such a thing down here? Perhaps inside this dark and forboding section
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>642074Nope, it's at the bottom of the water.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>642074definitely inside there. you can see clothing racks gleaming faintly in the distance
>>642075Why the shit would it be down there?
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>642081SWIM IMPO SWIM
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>642081it's a... magic aqua poncho? and also, you're a really good swimmer.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>642081Check out the totally not dangerous dark passageway
>>642084Oh shit turns out you're not. YOu're being carried away by the sewage. And you got some shit in your mouth
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>642092RIDE THE TIDE
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>642092you're an imp, what do you care about some sewage?just grab the magic poncho you are 100% sure definitely exists and get out
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>642092You were starting to get hungry anyway, eat all the shit you can find to harness its powers
>>642096What part of "being carried away by the sewage" do you not understand you retard
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>642099FLY IMPO FLY
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>642099Drown in shit
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>642099RIDE THE TIDE
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>642099craft a crude but effective raft from surrounding debris
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>642112Reach the end of the tunnel
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>642112Try and fly out
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>642112Get saved by a escaped weeaboo orc that lives in the sewer and plays with shit trading cards
>>642124You escaped the shitstream
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>642135Meet a weeaboo orc that lives in the sewer and plays with awesome trading cards
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>642135Found a slightly less shitty part of the sewer to wash that off
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>642135We maybe found four teenage mutant turtles with pirate outfits.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>642135>>643138
>>642139Yes, maybe you there's a clean waterway, a reservoir or maybe a slightly less muddy puddle that you can use
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>642150He looks like shit. Let's just spit a fireball into the gas filled sewer and fuck shit up.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>642150Find orc playing trading card games
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>642150Nah, the sewer was fine. Go back
>>642152Yes, you may have enough left to spit one tiny fireball out and blow up the gas filled tunnels. But this could be suicidal becaus eyou're currently inside those tunnels. Are you sure?
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>642172Yeah, just hide in the shit water
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>642172Do it.It'll fuck up the kingdom and give everyone the chance to escape
>>642179But the water will put out da fire inside you
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>642188Blow up the tunnels.It needs to be done.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>642188Shit nigger, just build a shelter made out of the hardest shit you can find
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>642188Find an orc playing trading card games
>>642195Because clearly shit is an excellent protection against an explosion
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>642204>>642200
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>642204Sigh and accidentally release some fire.Blowing up the tunnels.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>642204Find magic shit with +defense against explosions
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>642204Build a secret base in the sewer.
>>642205Why the shit would that be down here, all orcs are imprisoned inside the arena
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>642221Not this one, this one escaped into the sewers to play card games
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>642221Study shit. Maybe we can harness its power.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>642221Look around to make sure if orcs existed in the sewer with waifi t-shirt.
>>642226That seems higly retarded and unlikelyIn other news, constant exposure to filth can't be healthy, especially with your manlet constitution
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>642237>>642231
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>642237Embrace the shit. It is part of you now
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>642237Train your body under the shit waterfall
>>642239Looked around. Nothing but shit
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>642247Experience epiphanyThis world is full of nothing but shitYou are shitWe are shitEverything... shit
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>642247Question Imp... when will you start cleaning yourself up?
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>642247Look around for better shit
>>642252It's shit all the way down
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>642257Add that shit to your inventory
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>642257Escape sewer. This is pointless
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>642257Spread shit religion to the overworlders
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>642257Everyone dies and we move on to civ thing 2
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>642257Try to create new magic... Shiomancy!
Naaaaaame>>642263We aint gonna get a Civ Thing 2 with that attitude.Impo is important stuff!
>>642263If we're gonna move on to anything, it aint Civ Thing 2, running those are tiringgggThis have been a public service announcement
>>642264It suppose to be Shitomancy...
>>642266The salt in those threads must be too intensive.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>642266>>642261
>>642272More like keeping track of the numbers makes my head hurt and sleepy
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>642266Search for sewer gold. You remember the ancient myths of the golden shit
>>642273Flying up to the nearest opening
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>642279But suddenly you remember how nice sewers are and you have to go deeper down
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>642279You are now a shit demonTime to terrorise the surface in the bame of Satan>captcha: nazarethIts a sign
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>642279Become poop based super villain
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>642279Emerge from your shitty prison.
>>642283You declared youself a shit demon in the Black, Asian and Minority Ethic of Satan
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>642291Unleash your newfound demonic shit powers and fling shit everywhere to terrorise the people and feed off their terror to gain evil powers
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>642291Drag that gobbo into the shit sewers
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>642291Cry and take a bath
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>642291Show the citizens the gifts of the sewers
>>642296And so you wnet home, in tears, and took a bath
Rolled 4 (1d100)Shit demons vs salt demons: the imp boogalooComing soon™>>642303Bath in shit
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>642303Its okay. We got that piece of golden shit back in the sewers.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>642303Cover yourself in a full body suit so you won't have to become a shit demon again.
>>642306What piece of golden shit
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>642310Its imaginary don't squash his dreams
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>642310Put back on your hero suit and find manling rider.
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>642310The one in your pocket. Come on, i know you picked it up. It was right there.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>642310Get out of the tub, get dressed, and go be productive...
>>642316THere was nothing there. You didn't pick up anything because there was nothing to pick up.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>642320Don't worry, you can show us. We won't steal it.
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>642320Goblin: Get out of tub...
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>642320Then go back down and get it. I can't believe you imps sometimes.
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>642320Check in the tub.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>642320Chant out loud "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
>>642325There is no Us here. YOU are the Imp.
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>642335Are you sure? Look around for us.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>642334>>642335
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>642335>There is no Us here. YOU are the Imp.Are you certain about that?Imp: Become paranoid...
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>642335See your best friend Imp Inventor stroll up.
>>642338Why are you so obsessed with finding Dragon Messiah's shit?
>>642338Are you like, retarded or something
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>642349Severely, yes. You got a problem with that?
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>642349>>642341
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>642349Whats wrong? Just go back to the sewers.
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>642349>Are you like, retarded or something"Are you retarded?"Imp: Question sanity...
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>642349Yep.By the way... didn't we forgot the important goal like finding manling rider aka former gobbo king?
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>642349SANITY CHECK
Oh my. NaP is gonna start railroading unless you make progress. Better fix yo shit
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>642360>>642366Were we not on a quest to find the golden poop?
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>642366ignore voices in your head and act on free will, young impo
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>642366You just feel like it.
>>642370No, why would finding poop be the quest. Finding the other manlet heir is the quest.
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>642366Hey, look! Plot device that isnt shit related!Also this post cannoy be skipped or else risk OPs sanity.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>642379>>642380Also, wear costume and fly away.Downtown or some shit.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>642379Summon cthulu because why the fuck not
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>642379Whatever, go out and explore city.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>642379then go find him
>>642384Flying downtown, perhaps there are crimes to be stopped
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>642395you spot some DANGEROUS CRIMINALS
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>642395Track down salt cultists trying to salt restaurant food
>>642401Now what the ass are those"GIMME ALL YOU MONEY""No please, all I have is this bag of salt"
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>642403seduce the cultists out of the cult
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>642403IMP KIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!!!!
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>642403Watch from the distance like a dark knight.
>>642412Roll 2d100 for, first is for pick, second is for result1-59: no60-99: okay100: yes
Rolled 70, 96 = 166 (2d100)>>642422nat 100 incoming
Rolled 46, 89 = 135 (2d100)>>642422
Rolled 92, 27 = 119 (2d100)>>642422SEIYAAAA!!
>>642428"OW! The fuck?!"
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>642440I'm a hero as a hobby
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>642440Finish him with Impo Justice Flame!
>>642446"The hell is that supposed to mean you little fuck?!"Oh shit he's coming straight at you with a knife
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>642451Fly higher and skull bash his shit! VICTORY SMAAAASH
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>642451perform a dazzling evasive maneuver
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>642451punch him to dead
>>642459>>642460Dice God is on vacation it seems
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>642459Attempting to evade knife, dazzinglyRoll 2d100, second number just has to be higher than what I rolled, should be easy, I rarely get high rolls anymore
>>642459>>642460Well this is new.
Rolled 3, 142 = 145 (2d200)>>642468
Rolled 77, 25 = 102 (2d100)>>642468muh 100 tho
Rolled 3, 72 = 75 (2d100)>>642468CQC
Rolled 67, 66 = 133 (2d100)>>642468EVADE AND DAZZLE
Rolled 84, 38 = 122 (2d100)>>642468
Rolled 65, 42 = 107 (2d100)>>642468Shadow Evasion!
Rolled 25, 48 = 73 (2d100)>>642468WoopsBarb Senpai was at it again
Wow we suck
>>642484Yes, yes we do. Hopefully its not a 1 hit KO...
how the fuck
>>642478YOu tried to dodged! But didn;t get out of the way completely in time and got your arm cut for your troubles
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>642495he's distracted! punch him ded with your other arm!
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>642495BERSERKER MODE ACTIVATE
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>642495Heroes never surrender!VICTORY FLAME BREATH!!!
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>642495Cry
>>642499"OOooooh, the little midget's getting angry. I'm sooooo scared"
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>642506*fart*
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>642506Roll for rage strength
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>642506the insult was too much. kill him with one punch
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>642506Swing arms like a windmill
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>642509Surely that smidge of Dragon Blood inside you would give you a sudden burst of strength in your moment of needLike before, roll 2d100 and be higher than my shitty number
Rolled 75, 80 = 155 (2d100)>>642520Shieeeeeeeeeeeeet
Rolled 36, 19 = 55 (2d100)>>642520Its probably time to give up now
Rolled 28, 10 = 38 (2d100)>>642520god. dammit.
>>642520Dice God is clearly off his rocker
Rolled 49, 82 = 131 (2d100)>>642520
Rolled 48, 22 = 70 (2d100)>>642520Easy peasy
Rolled 9, 90 = 99 (2d100)>>642520
>>642521*poff*"Nice try, stupid. NOW DIE"Oh shit it's another stab, what do you do?
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>642536okay fine time to fly away. they're just salt cultists anyway
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>642536Disarm him.From the shoulder
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>642536Judo evasion in which I grab and twist his knifing arm and use the force of his own thrust to make him stab deeply into his own chest.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>642536Jump through between his legs!
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>642536Pray to Kobbo Goddess for strength, a hero, or better armor
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>642536Roll over and cry like a bitch
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>642541Like before, roll 2d100Dice God plz
Rolled 80, 57 = 137 (2d100)>>642550Man you gotta stop rolling so high.
Rolled 27, 78 = 105 (2d100)>>642550
Rolled 20, 80 = 100 (2d100)>>642550do it.
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>642550Its pointless
Rolled 3, 52 = 55 (2d100)>>642550Hope we get his legs too
>>642550Nat 100 checking in.
Rolled 22, 35 = 57 (2d100)>>642550dont worry, nat double 100 incoming
Rolled 58, 50 = 108 (2d100)>>642550
Rolled 50, 5 = 55 (2d100)>>642550Good bye arm!!!!
>>642553And so you got stabbed in the face and died.Coincedentally, this was also how your father, King Imp The First was killed. The only difference was his death is a political assassination while yours was some senseless back alley mugging.Well that's another manlet heir down the drain. The End
>>642570Well this is hallow...
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>642570Skin falls off. We see that a tiny mini manlet was piloting the body the whole time!
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>642570manlets are destined to achieve nothingnext adventure : kob god in hiding ?
>>642570So now, nest guy, Smiling Kid, Manlet Rider, Disgruntled Barbarian or Skelebro. Surely choices nobody cares about anymmore.
>>642580Smiling kidThe rate we're going, we're gonna kill whoever we pickAnd I never particularly cared for the elves
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>642580I'd like to kill the barb. So him.
>>642583If we try to kill everything we look at, we will dieOr seduce
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>642583>>642580
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>642580smiling kid
>>642584He's off in the wilds now, serenating the peoples with mariachi music
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>642580Skelebro
>>642580Fleshy bone wearing a bone on his head
>>642593Thanks for the comfort
>Impo dies because of shit rollsWill manlets ever achieve anything in this quest?
Rolled 2 (1d3)Since nobody said anything about the manlet, it comes down to these 3 choices, I'mma roll a dice1 - kid2 - barb3 - skele
>>642608Welp time to convert more heretics to the One True Faith
>>642589Are you implying I shouldn't attempt to seduce everyone and everything I come across?*bats eyes flirtatiously*
>>642608And so next guy will be Barbarian in the arena. GoodnightUpdates are here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>642613Instead of seducing everything, let's try licking everything
>>642613Your rampant seduction cost us our hair asshole.
>>642617Sounds good for a Barb. Rock licking. Sounds like Salt Cult behavior
>>642620We can start licking people's salted tears then
>>642619Worth it. Now we're closer to Saitama's image>>642617What's the difference?
Holy shut manlets are weak. How the fuck did anyone even think that a manlet of all species would be able to stand up the king. Even a Elf could've hulled that thug easy.
>>642729>Holy shit manlets are weak. How the fuck did anyone even think that a manlet of all species would be able to stand up the king. Even a Elf could've killed that thug easy.Autocorrect problems.
>>642729It was dice god fuckery Speaking of which wouldn't that bitch be the first on Brock's kill list?
>>642742I think that dice God is too powerful for Brock.Deities power level from most to least:>1. OP>2. God Almighty>3. Dice God>4. Brock>5-9. Various Tribal gods to varying degrees>10. The King>11. Goblin God >12. Dragon messiah>13. The smiling son>999999991. Salt whatever
>>642842I'm also not sure why almighty hasn't slapped Brock's wrist yetUnless....Brock has become the almighty
>>642892I just think he's on a break or something. Either that or he just doesn't care enough like how the Kingdom didn't care when we were killing each other as civs. At least until the Orcs opened up that mystery box.
>>642892It's because it's for the last episodeAlso because the time of each episode jumps aroundOr he doesn't care
>>642920Course he cares. We wouldnt exist no less even be a thought if he didnt.You, OP, however....
>>643823What, c'maaan, I care, I super care, fo realzies
>wake up>imp dieswelp, what a wuss
>>643843Manlets are just that weak. If it was any other race then the manlet would've survived.
>>643846the problem that you gone to look for trouble as default manletshould've trained first
>>643867Personally I just wanted to set fire in the gas filled sewer and just fuck shit up. Next time we should find a match or something and just throw it into the sewer to screw with the kingdom.
>>643843Cyborg Hero Duo Manlet Rider and Manlet Rider 2 when?
>>644094Just fuse them all together at this point.>>643835If you care sooooooo much.... you should let us BE Dice God, fighting against Brock for survival. Game ends when he dies or when the paladins arrive to show up.He must suffer
I like to feel as if I somehow caused this death.Sure I wasn't here when he died but I made prince imp pursue the superhero path and search for manlet rider in hopes that someone would decide to fight something and get him killed since manlets are fragile fucks with no combat capabilities whatsoever
>>645206Meh. OP gave us a ton of chances for this to work. It was our own shit rolls and OPs fucked rolls that won this.
>>645206I don't even know why you keep on pushing for the quest to dieDo you just hate op for not letting you do what you wantOr is it something elseAlso Manlets seem to be cursed by fate to be whipping boysThe dice God always fucks them in combat They get one shot by all the other racesWe could have explored this with imp but dice God fucked him over
>>645776I think he's got autism.
>>645776I just have more fun by ruining other peoples fun than I do when not ruining shit for people.Its because I was born with a tiny dick
>>645799Okay cool your not the real canonThat is the curse of namefags that leaveThere legacy always lives on
>>645802It is the real Canon
>>645804Let me dreamAlso I'm suprised that he would still use his name,less people would call canon fuckery and some might actually agree with him
>>645802I am the real one.Whenever I namefag I always make it a thing to try to permanently ruin that name once I am done with it.Only this time that name was also shared by a main character of a previous adventure.
>>645881I just wanna combine the 3 manlets into a manletzord
>>645896And they'd still come up short
>>645896combining is for wusses
>>645898Hey! I dont talk down your Kamen Rider. Gimme my Super Sentai
>>645917as long you combine them via power of friendship and via giant robots I don't mind.Just don't do weird fusion stuff
>>645919Super Friendship Robots?I smell a big hit
Anyone got an ETA on next thread?
>>647467Like 12 hours, trust me, I have a reliable source
>>647495How do you know this? Answer me.
>>647509thats when his salt shipment arrives ~also when you stop being a faaaaaaag~Maybe i spoilered the wrong text
>>647509I have people, trustworthy people
>>647617>Imp Prince survived and now leads the manlet mafia
For anybody still in here for some reason, NEW THREAD>>652414>>652414