[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / x] [rs] [status / ? / @] [Settings] [Home]
Board:  
Settings   Home
4chan
/qst/ - Quests


File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
Oh shit nigger(s) it's the aftermath of Civ Thing and all the tribes who inhabitited the nondescript generic fantasy land has all been enslaved by The Kingdom ruling the aforementioned nondescript generic fantasy land.
Now they must either accept their fate or break out and free their own tribe. Other tribes optional.

Your current protagonist is a member of the elven tribe, which was captured and made into slaves for the Kingdom. Half work in fields and half work as house slaves.
You are The Sad One, once a happy elven hero called The Smiling One, but the destruction of your tribe hasn't been treating you well. You were bought by a wealthy noble to work as a house elf slave in his mansion.

Currently you're in the middle of scrubbing the floor, what do you do?

Roll 1d100, who gets the highest number is the picked action.

Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>606300
Punch ourselves in the face to get us out of this slumber mood
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>606303
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>606304
try to smile, at least we're still alive
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>606304
Always look on the bright side of life
>>
>>606304
Eat some meat
>>
File: 1.png (4 KB, 500x500)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>606306
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>606308
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten!
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>606308
Try to seduce the other houseservants with your elf charm
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>606308
Think how sexy your waifus were and now realize they are gone
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>606308
brighter
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
6 KB
6 KB PNG
>>606312
Well that didn't help at all
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>606319
>>606311
it's time to seduce more waifus then
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>606319
you find Kingdom Idols magazine full of pretty girls
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>606319

Go look for a totally legit street salesman
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>606319
Remember that your demigod child was killed before it was even born
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>606319
Well so much for trying to cheer up our glum pal with a musical number.
Back to boring cleaning I guess
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>606319
blame the king
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>606319
Sing a song of your people
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606322
As you try to exit the mansion, you are stopped by a guard
"Where are you going?" he asked
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>606330
>>606323
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>606330
Looking for pretty girls
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>606330

Grocery shopping for the lord, sire
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>606330
to get more cleaning supplies that arent here in the castle.
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>606330
To find some waifus
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606331
Suddenly, a traumatic flashback
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>606337
"OVERCOME IT, WUSS"
you hear from afar and actually overcome your sadness
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>606337
ripple effect for flash back
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>606337
burst into uncontrollable tears, the guard feels pity and lets you past
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>606337
Guard takes pity and takes you to your quarters
>>
File: 1.png (146 KB, 500x500)
146 KB
146 KB PNG
>>606341
>past
And so the guard initiates the flashback
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>606347
press Esc and proceed to town
flashbacks sucks
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>606347
Gotta get back. Back to the past. Samurai Jack.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>606347
WOOOOOOOOOSH
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>606347
Fuck flashbacks.

Send him to his room
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>606347
The BGs were playing up the dance scene
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>606347
Flashback reminds sad one of how having stuff up his but used to make him so powerful and feel happy
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>606350
FLASHBACK TO...RIGHT AFTER THE CIV THING FINAL BATTLE

The giant golem was destroyed and all tribemembers were scattered around the field, including you.

Oh shit, the Kingdom Forces are rounding up people
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>606356
smoke some dank weed and enjoy the dildo up your ass
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>606356
loss.jpg
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>606356
they creeped out by you
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>606356
Gaaaaaaaay.
Skip
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606359
"My lord! We found this elven female, she seems to be some sort of religious figure, and also pregnant"

wuh oh
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>606362
MUH WAIFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
>>
>>606362
say the father is a human noble, that worked in Man o' Man
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>606362
King actually sends her to get treatment
she is now locked in his castle elsewhere
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>606364
oh yeah you have to roll for these. What a terrible system.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>606362
Bitchslap the king
>>
>>606364
hey, next adventure civ with colonization when?
>>
File: 1.png (20 KB, 500x500)
20 KB
20 KB PNG
>>606363
Super Elf Powers Activate

>>606364
Next thread when
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>606369
ENGAGE THE KING IN A FIST TO FIST FIGHT
MUH WAIFUUUUUUUUUUU
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>606369
you slip on your way to save her and accidentally kick the baby instead of king
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>606369
calm down you, they have her as hostage
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>606369
Glorious last stand incomming
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606373
"Now now, don't try anything hasty...Why are you getting so angry anyway? Is this your wife and child or something?"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>606378
yes pls dont hurt them
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>606378
YES, MUH WAIFU AND UNBORN CHILD
LET THEM GO
I'LL DO ANYTHING TO SAVE THEM
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>606378
yeah so can you not hurt her and stuff?
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>606378
"...maaaaybe"
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606380
"Anything?! Even stripping down to your undies, do a handstand while bawking like a chicken in a tub of butter?" A guard chimes in

"The fuck man"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>606385
YES, EVEN THAT
JUST DON'T KILL MUH WAIFU
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>606385
ANYTHING
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>606385
Random Barbarian lich cuntpunches pregnant elf as hard as he can, aborting the baby in the process.
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>606385
King: backslap that guard so hard he turns into an elf
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>606385
what's a butter?
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606387
"Even anally violating the barbarians?" another guard asked

The King and the other guard has no comment
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>606388
>>606391
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>606391
King: slap that guard so hard he flies into the ass of a barbarian
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>606391
YES, JUST DON'T KILL MUH WAIFU
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>606391

The king finally decided to marry our waifu and adopt our unborn child.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>606391
Man that's even gayer than what we did in the invisible forest
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>606391
King ashamed of his own guards
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606395
"Well that's dumb why would i do that"
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>606388
>>606399
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>606399
I HAVE NO IDEA
JUST SAVE MUH WAIFU PLEASE
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>606399
To mock elves
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>606399
I just don't wanna lose my wife & child.
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>606399

Because you are a king and your dick is bigger than elves and orcs.
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>606402
"Settle down, barbarian"
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>606388
>>606405
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>606405
I blame elves
>>
>>606405
You know this whole enslavement thing is a lot calmer than I thought.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>606405
Beg on our knees and plead to the King to save muh waifu
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>606405
who knows some magic maybe good for you
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>606408
>>606408
anything but this
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>606405

The king do Netorare because he can.
>>
File: 1.png (14 KB, 500x500)
14 KB
14 KB PNG
>>606408
SUDDENLY, The Barbarian Lich runs up to cuntpunch the Elven High Priestess, but was then stopped by The King

"THe hell you think you're doing?"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>606418
killing an elf demigod before it is born
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>606418
beg for the King to save our waifu
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>606418
"MY SON IS IN THERE"
The elf had been cucked all along
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>606418
A magic trick
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>606418
this >>606421
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>606418
well king what do you think you should do with the elf since you are soooo smart
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>606420
Rolling for this

>>606421
>>606423
Barbs are impotent you dumb barbs
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>606418

The Barbarian Lich told the king that the Elven High Priestess's child is actually King's child.

His unborn child will fulled doomed his tribe.
>>
File: 1.png (16 KB, 500x500)
16 KB
16 KB PNG
>>606420
The King is thinking if he should save the elf or not....
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>606430
lich asks if he can please punch the unborn demigod
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>606430
then a fucking baby pops out
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>606430
We bawl so hard that we create a river out of our tears to convince the King.
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>606425
skeleton's boners will find a way
>>606430
how can you choke a skeleton, trivia?
he tosses a coin
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>606430
How the hell do you even choke a skeleton?
>>
>>606430
Lich's head pops off from the pressure to some unknown land
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>606437
>>
File: 1.png (18 KB, 500x500)
18 KB
18 KB PNG
>>606435
"This is alich, not a skeleton"
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>606439
Well that changes everything.
I'm still curious in case of skeleton related attacks.
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>606439
is there a difference?
toss him in the lake
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>606439
>>606432
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>606439
>>606434
MUH WAIFUUUUUUU
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>606439
fuck man I dunno plot or something
>>
File: 1.png (18 KB, 500x500)
18 KB
18 KB PNG
>>606442
"Wait, there's a demigod in there?"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>606447
yes let me punch it
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>606447
HE IS JUST TALKING NONSENSE
MUH WAIFU IS A PURE MAIDEN THAT WOULD NEVER CONSORT WITH A GOD
PLEASE SAVE HER
we cry out
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>606447
Elves are weird like that.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>606447
Well, you just beat a golden messiah.
And I'm pretty sure that was the only godlike being in that giant robot.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>606447

King picks up the lich's phylactery off the floor and crushes it in the lich's face.
>>
>>606368
>>606369
Soon™

gotta finish the end comic first I guess
>>
>>606453
kewl
>>
>>606453
looking forward to it
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>606449
"Hmmm, seems we're at an impasse. Let's decide this by seeing who makes a better argument for themselves...you there"

"Yes my liege?"

"Go fetch this lich's phylactery"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>606457
>"Go fetch this lich's phylactery"
good luck with that
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>606457
do we have a dead mentor we can summon as a spirit for the trial?
Otherwise we're screwed
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>606457
magic mallet
use it
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>606457
make the lich and smiling one fight, winner gets the pregnant whore
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>606458
"Here you go my lord, the paladins detected this rock inside that crater lake over there"
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>606462
>>606461
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>606462
cheaters
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>606462
We say that the Barbarians are evil and have been raining down meteors and raising the undead. We even say that the Barbarians are plotting to unleash a meteor on the Kingdom right now.
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>606462
heeeeey that's our gem
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>606462
woops. His hand slipped the philactery is fucked
>>
>>606466
Our gem is red with no glow
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>606465
>Barbarians are evil
stereotypes are evil, we are not
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606465
"That sounds plausible"

"THAT'S BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT" Yelled a bunch of captured barbarians

"WE ARE CLEARLY SECRETLY DOING A RITUAL OF NOT SUMMONING A GIANT METEOR TO DROP DOWN ON THE KINGDOM"
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>606470
>>606461
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>606470
meanwhile in space, the meteor spirit drill has managed to destroy several planets
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>606470
THEY ARE JUST BEING RACIST TO US, WE DIDN'T DO NUFFIN'
WE ARE MOST CULTURED OUT OF THESE SAVAGES
We just low throw rocks...
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>606474
[Extremly high budget CGI]
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>606476
The King then hears the Barbarian side of the argument here and makes his final decision
>>606475
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>606476
aliens got pissed
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>606476
Maybe one day it will pierce the heavens.
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>606476
The Liche escaped during the cutscene.

The phylactery is just a cardboard cutout. So is the guard.
>>
File: 1.png (15 KB, 500x500)
15 KB
15 KB PNG
>>606479
Maybe one day...one day...
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>606481
the ayy lmaos get MAD
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>606481
flashbacks ends on this positive note and you feel better already
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>606481
And on that day a skeketon will be gifted with really coll sunglasses.
>>
File: 1.png (5 KB, 500x500)
5 KB
5 KB PNG
>>606482
"This is no longer ayy lmao"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>606486
end flashback
WHOOOOOOOOSH
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>606486
but that's story for another day
end flashback on cliffhanger, back to today
feel better about yourself
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>606486
Resolve the wife & baby before you end the flashback
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>606488
Perhaps you'll remember the rest later
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>606486

End the flashback with the phylactery being destroyed
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>606486
Alien god smites the other gods. They allowed this
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>606494
or not
ignorance is a bliss
now try to leave and find some cute girls to hit on
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>606494
Later being right now
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>606494
The guard escorts us back inside so we get back to work.
In space, the ayy lmaos have been preparing an invasion
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>606494
You remember draggos getting anally penetrated
>>
File: 1.png (182 KB, 500x500)
182 KB
182 KB PNG
>>606498
WOOOOOAAAAGGGGHHHH
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>606502
OH SHIT
WHOOOOOOOOOOSH
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>606502
guard knocks you out cause you are being weird again
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>606502
Now where were we?
>>
>>606504
>100 again
what the fuck going on really for past 2 days
>>
File: 1.png (258 KB, 500x500)
258 KB
258 KB PNG
>>606504
OH SHIT NIGGER YOU CAN"T CONTOL NPCSSSSsssssss.....
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>606507
The flashback starts again, but this time there are a bunch of weird flying saucers in the sky
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>606507
>>606495
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>606507
>implying guard will just stand and look at weird elf for whole day while that is on the mind trip
well I guess there are not TVs out there yet
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606508
Nigga what did I jsut say about trying to control NPCs
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>606513
muh waifu
also I was trying to make plot happen
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>606513
Resume flashback plot
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>606513
king lets you keep wife and baby, she slips and misscarriages
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>606513
>>606517
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>606513
you are high, you can do EVERYTHING
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>606517
"Let's settle this the classic way. You, smiling elf, and you, barbarian lich. Fight eachother"
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>606522
I'M FIGHTING FOR MUH WAIFUUUUUUUU
WE PUNCH THE LICH RIGHT IN THE FACE
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

Activate Super Elf Powers
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>606522

The fight was brutal and epic so that King cry in manly tears.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>606522
easy
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>606522
Fuck mobile posting
Ima just reroll and reply this time
>>
Sigh.
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>606527
"Nice try knife ears, now get to fighting"
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>606533
Activate Super Elf Powers
>>
>>606533
smiling one misses a dropkick on the lich and accidentally dropkicks unborn demigod.
Lich declares himself victror swears eternal loyalty to the king
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>606533
barbarian boringly punches elf into submission cause that's real damn easy, cause elves are wusses
this got old awhile ago
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>606533
WE FIGHT WITH OUR DRUG INDUCED POWERS WHILE SMILING
DO >>606535 THIS
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>606533
Play murderball
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>606536
>>606533
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>606533

"Noo....! That Barbarian Lich... is actually my half-brother!!!"
>>
File: 1.png (14 KB, 500x500)
14 KB
14 KB PNG
>>606538
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>606536
>>606545
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>606545
Rip and tear the Lich
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606546
I swear to ass if I have to repeat you can't control NPCs one more time I'm gonna ignore your posts
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>606548
Well anyway
RIP AND TEAR THE LICH
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>606548
thats told some other fag that, I have done it only that one time nigger
thought it would be funny to have the barbs most powerful guy betray them
either way dropkick baby accidentally
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>606548

Shoot green eye lasers at the rock the king is holding
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>606548
Fight lefts elf as miserable as he is today
the end of flashback
>>
>>606550
Tis is a message to everyone you mong
>>
... i took berry's virginity
>>
File: 1.png (16 KB, 500x500)
16 KB
16 KB PNG
>>606549
Fight fight fight

>>606555
'k
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>606557
dropkick the lich, miss and hit the baby
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>606557
elves are weaksause
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>606557
Fight for your wife
Fight for your people
FIGHT FOR REVENGE
>>
File: 1.png (21 KB, 500x500)
21 KB
21 KB PNG
>>606562
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>606557

Suplex!!!!!
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>606566
fast forward to end of flashback
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>606566
MUH WAIFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
KEEP PUNCHING UNTIL THE LICH'S FACE CAN'T BE RECOGNIZED
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>606566
Crush his skull against the ground beneath you
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>606569
"How surprising, the elf won. Welp, that's the end of that barbarian"
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>606574
RiP Unnamed Lich
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>606574
that's the end of flashback? why are we sad then again
>>
File: 1.png (15 KB, 500x500)
15 KB
15 KB PNG
>>606575
"Right, now let's throw away the remains of this roc---whoops"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>606578
CRY OUT
MUH WAIFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>606578
Become the sad one
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>606578
and that's why we are Sad One, I got it.
now back to reality, ya wuss
>>
Oh shit gotta eat dinner, be back in a bit
>>
Alright who's still here
>>
K biby
>>
>>606586
here
>>
>>606586
Should probably sleep but here
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>606581
[cri]
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>606591
>>606583
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>606591
end flashback
lament the loss of your child
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>606591
King. You suck. This isnt funny at all.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>606591
meh
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606592
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>606598
We're too sad to work and to sad to move
we assume the fetal position
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>606599
>
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>606600
Cry self to sleep
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>606600

We Sad One become Angry One because of the flashback.
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>606600
Owner kicks you
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
13 KB
13 KB PNG
>>606601
"ey! No sleeping on the job, knife ears" The guard kicks you from your sadness induced sleep
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>606606
become an hero
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>606606
Your homocidal tendencies reawaken
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>606606
get mad
kick the guard back and GET FUCKING ANGRY
BECOME THE MAD ONE
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>606609
"Oooh? House elf got an attitude"
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>606612
nope your depression comes back even harder
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>606612
GET UP
IT'S TIME TO GET MAD
PUNCH EM IN THE FACE
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>606613
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>606619
flood the mansion with your tears
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>606619
"WUSS"
you hear from afar
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>606619

He become so depressed that everybody in his surrounding become depressed too.
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606621
"You're gonna have to clean that up"
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>606625
actually go and clean that up
YA WUSS
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>606625
>>606620
keep crying like a bitch nigga so we flood the house
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>606625
check on the other house servants
maybe there's cute maids we can bully
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>606625
>>606622
I spupport this Idea,
awaken your latent powers of emotional manipulation of others
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>606625

The guard become infected by Sad One's depression.
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606628
[Totally not Reusing assets]
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>606634
you run out of tears
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>606634
it becomes impossible to clean because you keep crying
we start to affect the others with depression too
>>
>looks at thread
>see's that barbarians are trying to fuck everything up for no reason

Yup, checks out.
>>
>>606637
hey, I'm trying to help here
It's Canon who has murder boner for everything
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606635
Yep, not reusing assets at all
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>606640

He got the vision from his God.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>606640
We manage to clean everything up, but we shed one single final tear
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>606640
I bet those tears are nutritious. Drink some of them.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>606640
oh come on, you can find new girl no problem
hey, isn't that famous Idol's of Kingdom magazine over there? With hot chicks?
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
6 KB
6 KB PNG
>>606643
YOu slurped up your tears from the floor

"Well that's one way to clean it"
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>606649
we try to find a new waifu from the other house servants
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>606649
>>606646
also nearby there is weaboo mag for 2D drawn girls
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606653
Huh, magazine
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>606655
head to the bathroom and read the magazine
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>606655

Eat magazine
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>606655

Lick the magazine.
>>
File: 1.png (4 KB, 500x500)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>606657
And so you headed to the slave bathroom

A hole behind a rock far out in the garden
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>606660

Gain exp from the magazine.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>606660
Being influenced by magazine you want to start cooking career.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>606660

Consume the magazine as loudly as possible.
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606662
Perhaps yous hould ask for a position as a kutchen elf
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>606666
I mean think about it, a lot of food. Goal in life. Chance to poison king as revenge
It's pretty nice idea to distract yourself from sadness.
Also there is always plenty of salt.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>606666

Eat the magazine in order the judge how it tastes.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>606666
>>606667
It's time to become Elf Gordon Ramsay
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>606666

No you should actually work as assassin because cooking and killing is same thing.
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606668
Tastes like paper
>>
>>606669
I'd prefer the name of Mysterious Gourmet.
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>606671
check on the other house servants already
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>606671
Well we found out that our taste buds are in working condition.
Let's set our mission to become a royal chef!
Go and beg to become kitchen helper for starters.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>606671
>>606675
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606673
Ah yes, the other house servants, like....this bald elf who's sweeping
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>606681
use your authority to make him sweep harder
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>606681
Ask him where you can find kitchen?
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>606681
why is he bald? Did we ever get that dildo out our ass anyway?
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606682
"How about you go suck dick harder. Asshole"

wow rude
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>606685
Ask him why he's bald
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>606685
>>606683
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
6 KB
6 KB PNG
>>606686
"I always hated having long hair, that shit was annoying back in the forest. Now My head feels breezy as fuck"
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>606691
>>606683
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>606691
Think to yourself about how much of a race traitor and degenerate he is and move on.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>606691

>>606693
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>606691

Go to the kitchen make some broth
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606694
"doo doo doo, elf rap sucked anywaaayyyy~"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>606696
>broth
FUCK YEAH BROTH
TIME TO MAKE QUALITY BROTH NIGGAS
Have a rock, anon
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>606699
Fuck that faggot, LET'S COOK SOME BROTH
Become kitchen apprentice
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>606700

leave it by the manlet prince's grave

>>606699

Time for broth
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
6 KB
6 KB PNG
>>606702
As you enter the kitchen, the cook asks what are you doing here
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>606705
I WANNA BECOME A COOK
AND START A NEW LIFE
come on, show him your backbone
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>606705

I want to learn to cook meals so great the king will allow us to become official citizens of the kingdom.
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>606710
"A noble mission, perhaps you could start by helping me around the kitchen. First things first...go wash the dishes"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>606712
Are you related to the king or do all old people just have the same mustache and hair style?
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>606712

Wash those dishes with your tears
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>606712

Wash the shit out of those dishes...
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>606712
WASH DEM DISHES
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
13 KB
13 KB PNG
>>606718
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>606722
It's great success!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>606722

Dishes are now clean. Check with the chef for your next task.
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>606722

You masterfully clean the dishes...

Report in with boss-man...
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>606722
Try Talk to tree god in secret.
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>606722
You clean that shit so hard they're spotless and shiny and lickety clean
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606726
"Alright, now go and pick up the groceries outside"
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>606734

Go outside, pick all of the groceries and then some.

MAXIMUM EFFORT
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>606734
You go and do that.
Gotta get a purpose of life, which is work.
This brights your thoughts.
>>
>>606734

Elf: Go outside...
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>606741
>>
I'm afk, good luck with current thread vector
Let's make this elf worth something.
there should have at least ONE decent elf
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606740
Sadness...slowly...disappearing
>>
>>606748
what next chief chef
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>606748

Deliver groceries and ask the head chef for the next task
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>606748
BELIEVE IN YOUR GOAL
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
BELIEVE IN HARDWORK
Also fuck yeah, fried potatos rule
BELIEVE IN MEAT
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>606748
Realize we still don't fully know what happened to our girl and child.

Switch to rage.
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>606748

Elf: Complete task, request new task...
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606750
"Now find out where the terrorists a--AHEM--I mean go and peel the potatoes"
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>606758
Start secretly searching for these apparent terrorists.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>606758

You peel the terrorist potatoes. Ask if you should also peel the carrots, if so do that as well.
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>606758
the potatoes remind you of your unborn child
Sadness returns
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>606758

Elf: Go peel those terrorist potatoes on the double...
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>606758
You're not the king are you?
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>606761
Sad peel
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>606765
Your tears enrich the flavor of the potatoes because of just how right their saltiness are
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>606765

Stop feeling emotions and finish your job...

If you start crying the terrorist potatoes win...
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>606765

Peeled ALL POTAOES while being sad.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>606765
Think about how this is the kingdoms fault.

Fury peel.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>606765
>>606760

Become happier thanks to a job well done.
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>606770
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>606772

Elf: Report back in with the chef
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>606772

Finish peeling the terrorist potatoes, granting you a win against the vile tubers. This makes you even happier. Request another task from the head chef.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>606772
>>606776
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606774
"Yes, yes, very good. Now go chop the onions"
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>606783
you can't fool us king
embrace your sadness, become one with it
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>606783

You chop the onions at an incredible speed. So fast actually that they're unable to make you cry.
This impresses the head chef and makes you happier.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>606783
You chop the shit out of those onions trying hard not to cry. You cry anyway
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>606783

Elf: Chop those kingdom-damned onions like your life depended on it...
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606784
Cut, cut. Of course it's the King you dumbass. But you're not suppose to point that out! We're on a tight budget goddamnit, we can't hire anymore actors!
>>
>>606789
>See the King
>Remember the flashback
>It ain't me plays
Cry hard while chopping those onions
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>606789

Is that why the manlets were laid off?
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>606792
FUCK BASKETS
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>606789

OP: Open Patreon Account to help with hiring new actors...
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>606789
fine then
lets use our tiny amount of happiness to muster the energy to make an escape and bolt for the forrest
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606794
No shit! We had to let them go, just this motherfucker is expensive enough already. And the flashback effects in this episode? That shit aint cheap.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>606802

Alright then, moving on.

>>606785
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>606802
back to chopping the onions, people come on
we need to make a good broth
>>
Rolled 30124422489 (1d100000000000)

>>606802

Ok I give you extra funding. It is equal to my dice rolls...
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>606806
Chop chop chop chop
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>606810
>>606785
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>606810
we actually cooking dinner to entire filming crew
ahem, where was I
oh yeah, job well done
NOW MAKE BROTH
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>606810

Elf: Deliver chopped onions to your Chef-King, ask for new task...
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606812
"Good job, here's a giant snek head, go and make some snek broth"
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>606822
You broth the shit out that giant snek head
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>606822

You make broth. Turns out you're a natural at cooking. This makes you genuinely happy for a change and marks the beginning of your new life as an apprentice chef. Chef King is most impressed.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>606822
Make real nice broth
tastes like a chicken
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>606822

Elf: Be happy, you are now officially cooking something...

Elf: Make a fantastic Broth...
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
6 KB
6 KB PNG
>>606825
And now...we wait
>>
>>606830

The broth is amazing. Turns out you're a natural at cooking. This makes you genuinely happy for a change and marks the beginning of your new life as an apprentice chef. Chef King is most pleased.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>606830
>>606831

Cry unto the broth to give it that special salty taste
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>606831

fug
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>606830

Elf: Be diligent, guard and tend to that broth as if it were your own child...
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>606830
Get a bit happier, but follow instructions closely.
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>606830
Keep an eye on the broth until it's done.
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>606831
"I am most pleased. I'll ask the master later if you can become an apprentice in the kitchen"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>606842

Ask the head chef for further cooking lessons.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>606842
You got a new skills, new job and place in the society.
You are no longer a Sad One.
You are now MYSTERIOUS GOURMENT! The aspiring cook!
TROMBE!
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>606844
Your new lot in life doesn't make you pupular with the other elves. Especially the field slaves ones.

"FUCKING HOUSE ELF"

"RACE TRAITOR"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>606846
Go rest in the courtyard and sit next to a tree
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>606846
Feed them with good food, that should work.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>606846

Feed them broth and tell them of your plan to free them by falling in the king's graces through his stomach.
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>606847
"HOOOOOUUUUUUSEEEE EEEEEEELFFFFF" yelled the field elves

"Get down from there knife ears" yelled a guard
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>606856

Ponder on new dishes and how to make them. Also >>606850
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>606856
Set your goal of winning freedom of your people with your cooking.
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>606858
Skeptical elves are skeptical
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>606861

"EAT IT FAGGOT!!!"
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>606861
but broth is so good, they believe in you.
"Still more useful than endlessly crying baby you were" they say
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>606861

Elf: Aren't you an indentured servant of some kind? Don't you have duties to attend to?
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>606861
>>606867
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>606868
"We're on lunch break"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>606876
Check my new cooking skills then, I promise it's edible. Tested by chief.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>606876

They eat your broth and approve of it. They will help you on your quest.

You shall become the Smiling Gourmet, one who brings joy through cooking, but for now you must practice and ponder on new recipes.
>>
I would come up with a sick rhyme but I'm not that good
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>606876

Elf: Charisma roll on other Elves. Stoke the cinders of hope fading in their breasts into a raging inferno. Make them believe in you...
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606885
NIgga what did I say about trying to control NPCs? Dont make me shoot this elf
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>606893
you won't shoot him, he is valuable actor
where else you can find such crying machine
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>606893

Elf: Convince elves to eat vegetable + snek slurry...
>>
>>606893

Are you sure that you have enough money for bullets?
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>606893

Fine. Just give them the fucking broth and become the Smiling Gourmet anyway with or without their help.
>>
>>606900

Are you willing to bet an elf's life that that's just a prop gun?
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>606893
Well if it's just a random elf at least it's not the current protagonist. Also look in the grass for some stuff we could use. Drugs for example.
>>
>>606905

Maybe...
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>606899
nom
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>606893
OP shoots self instead.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>606911
Imagine running off with the King and making a life together.
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>606911
Go back to the kitchen and look at different recipes.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>606911
Whadya think?
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>606911

"Like it?"
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>606911

Elf: Await other Elf's reaction to eating your stew. Hopefully he isn't allergic to snek...
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>606911
Is it good?
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
13 KB
13 KB PNG
>>606921
As you head inside to gawk at recipes, you can ehar the field elves say : "It's okay"
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>606940
Forbidden Meals
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>606940
master recipes lock in confirm
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>606940

You decide to become the Smiling Gourmet, one who brings joy through cooking, but for now you must practice and ponder on new recipes in order to impress the Chef King. Begin by strengthening your bases

That being said, I like you OP but you're a fickle asshole. Have some more salt.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>606940
Le start with something short and sweet. Beginners cook book.
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>606940

Elf: Inspire him with tales of your dreams and goals while he eats...

OP: Roll a die to see how well the protag does?
>>
>>606951
>I like you OP
Me too, anon

I like me too
>>
File: 1.png (44 KB, 500x500)
44 KB
44 KB PNG
>>606947
Are you sure?! Do you dare delve into this tome of forbidden and dangerous recipes?!
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>606965
nah, Master Recipes lock in confirm
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>606965

Hell no we don't even know the basics of cooking. Start with the beginner's cookbook.
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>606965

FUCK YES!!!!!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>606965
Personally I think we should start with the beginners cook book but this sounds interesting. Let's see what's inside.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>606965

Elf: "S-Surly one quick read wouldn't hurt anything..."
>>
>>606968
Forbidden meals need not be hard, just forbidden. Maybe they are super easy!
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>606971
By the gods
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>606977

JESUS FUCK CLOSE IT CLOSE IT CLOSE IT CLOSE IT CLOSE IT!
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>606977
IT'S FULL OF FAST FOOD RECIPES
BURN BOOK WITH FIRE
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>606977
READ
ABSORB
LEAAAARN
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>606977

Elf: You have been touched by forces and knowledge that lie beyond the limits of mortal comprehension. You are, for lack of a better word, corrupted...
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>606977
Go to the beginners cook book. I want to learn to make parties damn it. Also put the book back where we found it.
>>
>>606989
welp, we had a good run guys.
RIP elves
>>
>>606986

rock we may not see eye to eye and i may still be saltier than the dead sea, but we have to burn that fucking book and kill its author
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
>>606986
"AHAHAHAAH! FOOL! YOU HAVE RELEASED ME FROM MY PRISON! NOW I AM FREE TO RUIN THE TASTEBUDS OF THE WORLD HAHAHAHA! GOOODBYYYYEEEEEEE"

Then the Dark Spirit disapears....into...uuh...darkness
>>
>>606993
Not Saltier than me! My trip has 'the salty' in it. But I didn't make a code so anyone can slap it on.
>>
>>606995
lol nigga it's just a book just stop reading it man. Put it back and go pick up the Beginner Book
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>606995

Elf: Begin repressing memories. Check on other elf...
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>606995
act like nothing happened and grab those Master Recipes
>>606993
what left is to find author I guess
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>606995
prepare a Royale Cheese for the chef
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>606995
Forge the darkness into a ring. The one to rule them all.

All being all taste buds.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>606995
Look around to see if anyone else noticed what you just did.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>606995
>>606999
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>607005
wuh oh

"...i'm telling"
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>607011

Elf: Quick, use your dashing elvish charm to defuse the situation...
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>607011

Go and (falsely) tell on the guy who saw you before he has the chance.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>607011
Cut his tongue
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>607011
Incapacitate him out
>>
>>607022
Welp. He did start out as PsychoElf and has killed several innocents so I guess it's kind of fitting
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>607011

Rape him...
>>
File: 1.png (16 KB, 500x500)
16 KB
16 KB PNG
>>607022
He's resisting
>>
>>607033

0_0

...

This escalated quickly...
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>607038
Just do it. We've done worse then this
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>607038
Eh, okay, I'm in a good mood, just say him to be silent about the accident, or you'll try harder next time.
Remind him of your time as PsychoElf
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>607038

Invoke back the gourmet darkness and try to seal it inside the elf.
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>607038
You whispter: "shhhh.... just let it happen... just let it happen..." playing into his lifetime of depression and the vague suicidal thoughts that have been in the back of his mind for years but he's been afraid to confront.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>607038

We slowly go back as our old self.

>>607040

Well... it could mean either literaly or killing...
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>607038

Elf: Overpower and kill snitch. Bake him into a pie...
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>607042
"t-this isn't over! You'll pay for this!" then he runs off
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>607054
Ah, to be myself again
you are "happy" now
Now back to cooking practice
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>607054

You pull out a small black book. Open it to a page that reads "Enemies" at the top. Several names are listed, some crossed out. You add this gobs name to the bottom of the list.

p.s. funny other this is on opposite page
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>607054
Use the knife to slice your own face and give yourtself a permanent smile.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>607054

Elf: Study the art of cooking by reading beginner's cookbook...
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>607054
Look in the beginner cook book
>>
>>607061
Jesus Christ man. Refrain your edginess.
>>
>>607066
he is bad influence on me
>>
>>607066
No
I have decided that the smiling ones original psychosis shall reawaken and be much stronger
we murderer now
>>
>>607066

>"Do you want to know how I got these scars?"
>>
>>607066

He just decided he should ruin everything for everyone.
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>607064
doot doot doo
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>607079
look for a book on cooking using people as ingredients
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>607079
It's actually real damn easy book
master it right away
>>
>>607079

Thoroughly study the book and practice its recipes thus gaining a solid grasp of the basics, then move on to the intermediate volume.
>>
Rolled 75, 36 = 111 (2d100)

>>607079
Rolling for learning
>>
>>607081
dat roll
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>607082

whoops
>>
File: 1.png (21 KB, 500x500)
21 KB
21 KB PNG
>>607081
Ding

Well that was easy
>>
>>607085

Protag is well on his way to being a master chef...

By the way, does Protag have name?

Is slightly confusing just calling him Elf while other Elves are present...
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>607080
>>607091
and read the hell out of the book
remember elves were cannibals before becoming slaves
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>607091
move onto Master Recipes
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>607091
next book, whatever it was

realize it was written by an old friend, reminisce.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>607091

Pick up the intermediate one and study it.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>607091

Elf: Conduct practical test of new cooking knowledge before moving onto the more advanced tomes...
>>
>>607093
he is the smiling one
or sad one depending on his mood
>>
>>607104

Sad Elf it is...
>>
File: 1.png (40 KB, 500x500)
40 KB
40 KB PNG
>>607098
reminiscing.....

wooosh woooosh woooosh
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>607108
it was an elf you knew before you were cured of your psychosis
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>607108

Sad elf: Commence flashback. Cue visuals...
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>607108
FLSASAAAAASSSSHHHHHH
B!AAAAAAACK
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>607108
here we go again
fastforward reminiscing
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>607108

Reminiscing unlocks a series of game related recipes. You now know how to cook Boar, Deer and many other meats and how to make dishes from edible roots, herbs and berries.
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>607114
"Oh boy! Can't wait to publish this an contribute to society!"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>607125
>>607119
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>607125
stand behind him creepily
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>607125
Then the king fucked the shit out of him when he finished writing his name.
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>607126

Sad Elf: Do something Excessively Violent...
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>607125
and so he did, end of flashback
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>607126
Well that was useful
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>607136
>>607094
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>607136
make a stylish hairstyle or something, you look like shit
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>607136

FInish studying the intermediate book and move on to the master one.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>607136

Sad Elf: Read master class cooking book. Realize the food that is your destiny...
>>
File: 1.png (4 KB, 500x500)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>607143
And what would that hairstyle be
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>607149

Sad Elf: Acquire Afro...
>>
>>607149
FUCK YEAH MYSTERY BOX TIME
Add some accessories to choose too
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>607149
an emo style
lock in
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>607149

Short, neat ponytail. And a thin frenchman mustache
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>607149
>>607152

aw fug, anyway list all possible styles
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>607149
pttoit
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>607167
>>607156

(the mustache is fake since elves can't grow facial hair)
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>607167
mystery box
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>607167

Sad Elf: Acquire Afro...
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>607167

Shaved head.
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>607169
Ya suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure?
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>607167
mystery box
hopefully there is something edgier in it
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>607177
THE BOX
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>607177
bottom left, lock in
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>607178

Sad Elf: Cancel Selection. Select Afro...
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>607177
MYSTERY BOX
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>607183
What box
>>
>>607187
BOTTOM LEFT
OPEN IT
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>607187

There aint no box. Confirm the ponytail with mustache.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>607187
zoom out
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>607187
random selection, lock in
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>607189
The stache is made from smearing charcoal on your face
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>607196
add eyebrows too then
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>607196
God you look like a villain
Say "HON HON HON" out loud
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>607196

Laugh like a frenchman as you prepare to further study fine cuisine.

Also >>607199
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>607199
But you already have eyebrows
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>607196

Sad Elf: Weren't we feeding one of our fellow slaves before we got distracted by cookbooks, brawls and hairdressing. What is other elf doing?
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>607204

Further study fine cuisine. The time has come to study the master cookbook.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>607204
make them THICKer
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>607210
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>607217
perfect
now get a chief hat
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>607217
Go back to cooking now that your new haircut has increased your Chef power tenfold
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>607217

Sad Elf: Begin studying the master-class cookbook. Train your cooking prowess to it's apex so you can impress Chef-King...
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>607217
go full monobrow
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>607223
Goddamn my back hurts for some reason, wll have to postpone thread at this moment, will continue later

HEre is update
https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>607236
get well OP
rolling for OP's health
>>
>>607236
thanks for bread

I'd say it's good progress from the crying mess we had in >>606300
almost no fuckups
>>
>>607240
you hurt me
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>607236
It is caused by a severe lack of salt OP, you must remedy this immediately
>>
>>607240

You gave OP a brain aneurysm...

Well done...
>>
Rolled 1 (1d1)

>>607240
>>607243
well fug
maybe the dice god will be merciful this time...
>>
>>607255
you monster
>>
>>607245
Fuck salt 2bh
>>
>>607268
but salt is essential to OPs health, without regular harvesting of our salt his life force will eventually drain.
we must sate his salt by sacrificing the dragons turn before they even get a turn at as the playable character
>>
>>607280
>life force
>sacrificing
>dragons
>playable character
Are you some kind of queer?
>>
>>607280
I think we should sacrifice some barbarians instead
>>
>>607346
that will do as well, but I don't think Solid or Hats will care very much if barbs miss their turn
The dragon players at least might go nuclear and create enough salt to sustain OP
>>
Oh shit, guess I gotta check twitter more often.
>>
>>607354
>implying we will be around to go nuclear
Lmao were always late
>>
>>607354
>>607346
Yea. Us barbs don't really care anymore. Canon is just gonna commit suicide anyway because he can. I gave up trying a little bit before the flashbacks.
>>
>>607810
I'm just relieved that canon didn't succeed in punching the unborn demigod in the flashback. It was also nice to see the smiling one kill the lich as well.
>>
>>607810
It's still worth trying to keep this as a coherent adventure.
Even if someone keeps spamming rocks fall and everyone dies.
>>
>>608002
He keeps getting high 90 rolls and i get 30 rolls. It wasnt meant to be. All that is left is Skelebool, the Bros and Hooded, but they will be purged cuz Canon didnt like how the civ ended
>>
>>608577
Well I'm pretty sure that the recent destruction of the lich proves there isn't a HolyBones yet.
You could probably try what I'm gonna do and create a future character.
Aka I'm gonna convert an orc to the Kingdom Church religion somehow.
>>
>>608629
this is a good plan.
>>
>>608629
Sure. Help get Skelebro into Popedom and i can help you.
>>
>>608693
I'm not one to sabotage.
Best of luck and I'll try with my rolls.
>>
You know what.
I have been thinking and going through all the previous threads and adventures and I have come to a conclusion
OP is a crazy nutjob with how inconsistent he is.
Sometimes he will allow people more control of NPC's more than the main character of the adventure during important parts
Other times like in this thread he randomly decides that you can't control NPC's

And sometimes he will just railroad like fuck when everyone collectively wants to do go against the plot and prevent it
Yet other times he will allow someone to completely flip the adventure on its head and change the whole thing up

and sometimes when the adventure 'ends' due to something stupid he will allow an undo to keep it going
Yet other times it will be a strict no undos allowed

and a bunch of other shit as well
>>
>>609237
>slowpoke.jpeg2000
>>
>>609243
I had just simply never taken the time to think about it
Still OP is pretty cool, despite his status as a crazy person
Though I hope the next thread is not later today, I might not be able to be here if so because I will be instead finishing off my DnD game with friends
>>
>>609237
>Sometimes he will allow people more control of NPC's more than the main character of the adventure during important parts
>Other times like in this thread he randomly decides that you can't control NPC's

And this is how the manlets died in this adventure. Something I find relatively annoying, since now nobody can decide what an NPC does, but back when the king up and swatted the manlet prince everything was fine.

Basically, OP will do anything for salt.
>>
>>609294
this, it was going pretty great too, we just bought a piece of land and henshin'd then canon fucks everything up. I hope OP keeps this rule up. I don't want fucking Canon making NPCs come out of nowhere and kill our dudes.
>>
>>609307
I want to believe that Masked Rider is actually alive and well
Just in training in a secret place after utter defeat.
>>
>>609307
>>609309

I wanted it to serve as buildup for some sort smuggling ring which would help the other races bust out of the kingdom through tech (since magic went to fuck).

Then Canon happened and OP allowed it.
>>
>play civ thing quest
>everything seemed unbalanced and goofy even when it's a civ quest
>inevitably turns into salt

Fast forward to the end.

>play civ thing adventure
>it's really like the shit op normally does. This is cool
>incorporated stupid no npc rules
>players really tried to be more serious in how the game is played.
>ended up in salt

My initial suspicions were correct it seems. Balancing lolrandumb with rules is hard. Not only that but it really seems like the whole point to op doing what he did was to making a cool story. Which he absolutely did at the expense of some players releasing dangerous levels of sodium-chloride.

I do hope his back gets better tho. Nobody deserves pain like that.
>>
>>609342
>I do hope his back gets better tho.
it won't
>>
>>609342

I don't mind the no npc rule. I just wish he has applied it before one race was fucking removed from play.
>>
>>609342
>>609352
his back will never get better, Though the power of voodoo rituals passed down to me from my grandmother, his back will suffer for the rest of his life
>>
>>609362

Seriously though, I hope he comes back soon...

It has been so fuckmotheringly boring around /qst/ lately...
>>
>>609363
They did the tg vote. Lots of people want this to move back to tg so who knows it might be better. Never really been on tg tho.
>>
>>609367
Notapaladin used to do these on /v/ so if /qst/ disappears he will probably just go back to doing them there.
Though I hope /qst/ stays from my experience of these type of shit on /tg/ they are super serious as fuck and had ungodly standards and if you did not have the skills of a professional artist and put loads of time and effort into them then they basically tell you to fuckoff
>>
I just kind of wish OP had less king/god implications in his adventures

from someone who read them all it's getting a bit boring to have that absolute wall that people keep trying to break and fail miserably everytime

the milder the goals, the more goals players can achieve
>>
>>609404
>Implying
>He doesn't want the one mega adventure to end all adventures
>All NaP Protagonists who are against the king team up to fight him

I haven't read them all though. I am frankly confused by the continuity here, where does Kingslayer take place? I think its ending gets referenced in NRFS right? I could be wrong. Also NRFS 2: Feast Knight Adventures when?
>>
>>609437
>>609404
I think he wants all his various threads and adventures to have some sort of connected canon with events and shit
So he doesn't let anyone kill the king because he already gets killed
No excuse for god though, I guess maybe he is just a proxy device so OP can railroad and interfere with the adventure when the character is too powerful or players too obsessed with an Idea.
>>
File: knightfu.png (150 KB, 500x500)
150 KB
150 KB PNG
>>609437
but anon
if you can't kill the king it's because he's already been killed in the very first adventure, Horsefucker/Kingslayer
thus those are all prequels where the king hasn't been killed by horsefucker yet


honestly if there's one thing I want to see in an adventure is "God's" ascension from a lowly deity to killing all other gods and becoming the one and only god
>>
>>609443
can't any of you autists start up a wiki page for this?
>>
>>609445
>God's" ascension from a lowly deity to killing all other gods and becoming the one and only god
I was actually planning on suggesting that for OP to put on the strawpol at the end of this adventure
as well as something like "the kings rise to power" or "the kings childhood"
I have been wanting to suggest it for quite a long time now, but I alway keep missing the moments where I can suggest the Idea
>>
>>609445
>>609449
>God's" ascension from a lowly deity to killing all other gods and becoming the one and only god
That's a fucking good idea
>>
>>609448
Yeah but that's a lot of reading to figure out what comes before kinglsayer.
I'm pretty sure Civ Thing is the earliest one chronologically. Unless something like Peasant Satan was finished before it plot wise, no one ever contacted Satan to check.
Then again what does it matter
>>
>>609461
Then an inevitable Quest to End All Quests where we play all the protagonists from NAPverse team up to kill the very same God we played
>>
>>609495
>it ends on game crashing and corrupting save in a middle of final battle
>>
>>609500
DONT GIVE HIM IDEAS
>>
>>609503
he'll come up with something more lackluster of the ending, I know it
>>
>>609506
I feel as if OP has takes his 'dont let the PC succeed in the end' gimmick too far.
It has reached the point where I am kinda sick of it
Nearly all adventures either end up with the PC either failing/dieing or if they are lucky they just end up with the whole adventure being a waste of time where they achieved basically nothing
>>
>>609512

People's disappointment in an adventure's ending leads to salt, then all he has to do is sit back and take it all in.

That's how he sustains himself.
>>
>>609520
Enough with the salt memes.
>>
>>609520
and it only works on people who are relatively new to his threads
And I choose to believe that OP only does it at this point because over half the thread is populated by people like solid who is just all "OP is going to make us lose no matter how much you want otherwise" and he does it because that his reputation
I am sure that if enough people actually had faith and trusted in OP to give an actual good ending then he would
>>
>>609528
blame dragons
they were the ones who generated first Civ salt
>>
File: endcomic4.png (352 KB, 1000x628)
352 KB
352 KB PNG
>I don't know how to end it so I'll just make cool looking panels!
>>
>>609533

I'd like to believe that, but then again I'm seriously disappointed on how the manlets' "turn" was permanently ended.
>>
>>609542
Well that's one way to bait out NaP
Also, nice
>>
>>609544
Honestly when I caused that I wasn't expecting the manlet to explode and die because of it.
Though you have to admit it was funny
>>
>>609552

I don't think anybody was expecting that. The same way nobody expected a pebble to kill the kobold prince.
>>
>>609553
I think OP was just in an bad/asshole mood at the time and venting his anger on people in the thread.
Though I personally loved the amount of (you)'s I was able to get because I accidentally took manlets out of the adventure
>>
>>609560

I think he may have taken the manlets out because since they're "happy little workers" he might just have felt like the manlet hero would just end up being useless to the entire "we're bustin out" plot.

Which makes some measure of sense, but I don't feel like it was enough to have the manlets terminated.

Later came the "you can't take control of NPCs nigga" rule, which ends up making no sense since he already allowed players to take control of NPCs during the manlets' turn (which was exactly what killed the prince).

Like I said, I like OP, he's a pretty cool guy, makes threads that help me escape from the monotony at work and I appreciate that. But this right here grinds my friggin gears.
>>
>>609512
IDK, some adventures had satisfying ending if not open ended ones. Off the top of my head, Nameless Rank and File Soldier, Time Police, and I think Wasteland Quest.
>>
man I hope we skip Dragons, I don't think there's anyone here even interested with what happened to them. Let's just go straight to Wan Pan or Hooded Bones again.
>>
>>609576

If we do dragons they're probably going to get fucked since we lost one of the final rolls in the civ quest because they weren't there
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>609576
>Dragon thread starts
>first post - punch self in the face
>Dragon dies
>he was the last one
>thread ends
prophecy rock throw
>>
>>609568
The funniest thing is how the manlet players blamed me and the barbarians saying we were sabbotaging them just because because I was using a name at the time and vowed to fuck over the barbarians turn because of it.
If I was just anonymous like now then chances are they would have blamed OP instead
>>
>>609598

Clearly not our finest hour. Can you blame us for getting mad to oblivion though? One second everything's fine next post "Game Over".
>>
Anyone know what to read after Orc Cleric?
>>
>>609362
Jokes on you my back has been hurting since childhood, you're too late
>>
>>609661
then clearly I am better at this voodoo stuff than I thought.
I was able to send a curse back in time to affect you form before I even knew about you.
Also thread continue soon or you just checking up on it?
>>
>>609671
Ah so it was your voodoo magic that caused my spine to grow with less curves that regular spines

Anyway. Depends, is anybody still here for thread to continue
>>
>>609641
Like chronologically?
>>
>>609675
I have arrived in time to mess things up.
>>
>>609671
>>609675

Probably just here to check if the goblins are still assblasted. The answer is Yes to both, though i'm headed home right now and should return in around 15 to 20 minutes.
>>
>>609675
I hope people are here and I just finished my DnD campaign and friends just left slightly miffed that they all died because they didn't listen to me so I am in a good mood
>>
So we ahve at least 2(?) peoples for update, nice
>>
>>609691
I am here to witness suffering.
>>
>>609691
I am here for the broth.
>>
>>609715
But is that enough

Is it ever enough
>>
>>609691
I managed to break my computer again and I just fixed it.
I am ready for more master chef elf.
>>
Well I guess we sum peeps, update in 5 minutes
>>
We should make The smiling one become a secret serial killer as well as a cook
Who is with me
>>
>>609729
First we gotta make him the smiling one again through the magic of cooking.
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
Alright, got started on cooking career, now what do you do?
>>
>>609732
we should find a way to reawaken his psychotic tendencies in the process, won't be hard I think
>>609734
grab your kitchen knife
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>609734

Study master cooking book
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>609734
Find a rich guy to cook for
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>609734
More cooking books.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>609734
find steady employment as a cook, find out where the not-king chef is with asking if we can be an apprentice
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>609734
forgot roll
>>609737
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>609734
Cook a cock
>>
>>609734
dice+1d100
Become famous in the castle for cooking for everyone.
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>609734
We should go on a quest to discover the King's fav food.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>609749
>>
File: 1.png (18 KB, 500x500)
18 KB
18 KB PNG
>>609739
But only masters can view this book, ar eyou sure you're ready for the ancient knowledge within?
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>609762
lets memorise forbidden meals instead
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>609762
Realizing the master cookbook is to difficult for you at this point, cook it in a broth for a master's taste.
>>
File: image.jpg (9 KB, 300x168)
9 KB
9 KB JPG
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>609762
So we're a chef now...

Pray for ElfChefGod's guidance and study the book
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>609762

Talk to the head chef explain you've fully mastered the previous chapters and ask for permission to study it. Also didn't the forbidden book up and burn?
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>609762
Continue reading beginner's cook book we aren't ready yet
>>
>>609765
Forbodden Meals was already destroyed, this goof up was a result of using stock footage
>>
>>609772

We've already mastered that one and the intermediate one.
>>
File: Spoiler Image (4 KB, 500x500)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>609769
Ans you read the texts within...

It's blank
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>609780
Try the cooking tome then maybe we haven't mastered it enough.
>>609779
I thought we just had a flashback and learned how to cook direbeasts.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>609780
clearly this just means that we need to devise our own master meals by combining many average meals

captcha: taste the difference
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>609780
keep the book, we can write our own recipes in it once we start cooking human flesh and other intelligent creature flesh
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>609780
Realize we had the knowledge in our heart the entire time.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>609780
This means no meals are forbidden. Begin crafting my canibal stew.
>>
>>609780

Cearly only those who are authorized can read it. Explain the situation to Chef King and ask for permission.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>609789

fug
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
6 KB
6 KB PNG
>>609786
"That's right my pupil. True mastery comes from within. Only when you have mastered yourself will the secrets of the master recipes be revealed to you"

"Totally not because we used a placeholder propbook though"
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>609793
Embark on quest to find the rarest ingredient, or greatest chef to learn from, or some shit like that.
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>609793
K, so where's the real book?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>609793
Try making something from the beginner's cook book.
We haven't ate yet.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>609793
Cook with a fury unbeknownst to you until now, spurred by your master's words.
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>609793
ask him if we actually got hired
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>609793
lets practice our cooking
tell the bald elf you want to meat him in the cellar and grab your trusty knife and meat him there
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>609793

Time to invent some new fucking dishes and try them out.

Cooking montage with us feeding the other elves amazing food.
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>609795
"Whoaaaah, hold up, knife ears"

"You maybe part of the kitchen staff now, but you're still property of this household"
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>609815
>>609803
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>609815
clearly we must secretly murder our owners and cook them into the tastiest broth that ever was
then we can be free
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>609815
Look for the rare ingredient known as bald elf.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>609815
Explain that you're just poping out for some turmeric. They don't want their dinner to lack the proper spices do they?
>>
>>609815
>>609806

Actually lets feed literally everybody.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>609815
find the greatest chef in the household to learn from
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>609826

doh
>>
File: 1.png (4 KB, 500x500)
4 KB
4 KB PNG
>>609817
"Hell no, faggot" answered the bald elf to your incredibly trustworthy proposal
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>609833
>>609826
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>609833
n-no ur a faget
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>609833
Drag him down there via force
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>609833
tell him we want to apologise for earlier and want his help getting stuff from there to make the best cake ever
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>609833
Well as long as the guards won't bother us while we get good at cooking
TIME TO COOK SOME BEGINNER FOOD AWW YEAAH
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>609833
Drag him down to the basement by force.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>609833
Call him a faggot before realising you have no right to the insult since you're an elf
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>609833
show him our dank cooking skillz and feed that bitch. I bet he's just jelly because we're becoming a chef master
>>
File: 1.png (19 KB, 500x500)
19 KB
19 KB PNG
>>609837
[montage]
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>609868
you can feel yourself growing stronger. time to transform.
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>609868
You know I don't think we've seen the owner yet.
Either way resume cooking we gotta be the very best
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>609868
Throw bald elf into the boiling pot for talking shit about your food
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>609868

Become the Smiling Gourmet. Grand Chef, Feeder of masses.
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>609868
Put laxatives in bald elf's share.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>609868
sneak into bald elfs quarters as he sleeps then chop him into the next days meal
He must die for insulting your food
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>609876
"Fuckoff dickmuncher" The bald elf has become increasingly paranoid of you and won't let you get close enough to grab him
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>609891
>>609883
he has to sleep sometime just wait patiently for that moment
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>609868
No, we will not prosecute bald elf for hating our food. We will cut off all of his food. Spread rumors about him, make him hated by everyone, especially the master chef. Then, tell him to stop making food for bald elf for being an asshole. (If that won't work, steal something and frame him). Then, after some days, make some food and give it to him. He will depend on us, we will become his only source of food, and he will be our slave.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>609891
>>609878
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>609891
Just do your job for a few days.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>609891
Capture him in his sleep and bring the knives
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>609891
Gain his trust with great cooking while you wait to strike.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>609891
>>609894
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>609896
And so that's what you're aiming for now.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>609910

Begin to reawaken your elder powers. They only apply to cooking now but it still provides you with a large skill boost.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>609910
Skip ahead a week.
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>609893
>>609910
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>609910
>>609894
Btw, you forgot the moustache, OP
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>609910
Cook harder, cook faster. You gotta be the best or else you can't smile.
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
7 KB
7 KB PNG
>>609913
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>609924
HonHonHon
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>609924

More. Put your heart and soul into it. Fully awaken your powers and become a true chef.

also >>609926
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>609924
Find bald elf when he is alone and cornered and bring him some broth
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>609924
So my 100 ain't gonna count?
Fuk u OP. Dis is the second time dis happened.
>>609894
LET'S TRY AGAIN!
>>
>>609924
Smile harder, or they might be suspicious.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>609930
>>
>>609929
YOur 100 was 2late dickweed
>>
>>609929
You were too slow.
>>
>>609933
How was i supposed to know 2 minutes is too late?
>>
>>609938
It's always been one minute since the first reply.
Except for the civ thing, that was weird.
>>
>>609938
If you've been in these threads then you'd have known da rulez is 1 minute since the first reply is the time window nigga
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>609927
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>609949
>>609894
AGAIN!
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>609949
this also reawakens your psychosis
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>609949
Get rid of that coal drawn mustache. It's unsanitary and could be considered a hazard in a place like this
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>609949
cool food smithing knife in bucket of oil
remember to air the furnace so the meat doesn't get cold
hammer the red hot bread into shape
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>609949

Serve everyone in the building Croque Madames. Except the Bald Elf... Let him drool over what he cannot have.
>>
File: image.jpg (27 KB, 300x300)
27 KB
27 KB JPG
>>609954
oh daaaym.
Almost got me.
>>
>>609961
OP might just ignore yours since its "controlling the NPC's" too much.
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
>>609952
Taking advantage of your new position as apprentice chef, you managed to convince the Chef to cut the bald elf's food.

He's even more paranoid and hateful of you now.
>>
>>609965
Not really. I never said the master chef is going to do that. I said that we will ask him. If he won't do that, we'll frame the bald elf for stealing something.
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>609969
give his food to that one long haired fuck to fatten him up
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>609969
>>609958

Tell him that if he wishes for food he must apologize first. Only then shall he be fed.
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>609969
>>609893
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>609969
Create special unworldly delicious food with your elder powers.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>609969
Regain some of them psychic powers.
But they only work in cooking related uses.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>609969
Get rid of that mustache. It's unsanitary.
>>
>>609974
>>609975
>>609973

Dice god? Is that you?
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>609969
Ok, now tell him to do what we say he does, in exchange for food.
And remind him of our past.
If he acts up, we can cut off one of his fingers and serve it as a meal to him.
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
6 KB
6 KB PNG
>>609975
And so, with your awesome cooking powers you made...bread...and sprinkled some salt on it.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>609987
Make a hole in it and put jam in it
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>609987
>>609981
AGAIN!
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>609987
>>609973
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>609987
Regain some powers
But they can only be used for cooking
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>609987
>>609893
on another note where did all the pro serial killer chef bros go?
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>609987
Shave your head

Its unsanitary
>>
>>609996
You're unsanitary.
We had a dank ponytail.
>>
>>610000
Its the will of dice god
>>
>>610002
The dice god is unsanitary
>>
Welp. Looks like we're going to kill some dragons next thread.
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>609992
"Fuck you! I'd rather eat dirt! At least that taste better than the shit you're cooking!"

And then he ate some dirt
>>
>>610008
Its for the greater good

Just watch its gonna help us escape
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)