Previous Thread: >>487002Archive: http://darksquid.org/titmouse/Twitter: brianraddatzChat: http://darksquid.org/chat
>>513779Deal with the basement rats.Which is obviously the name of the new group of punk kids in town.
>>513779Rats? In my basement?Pick something more vicious.
>>513810This. these kids clearly a massive problem and we can get a lot of money by solving this problem permanently.
>>513779Say "Oh rats!" Then begrudgingly accept the quest, and remark about your past as a skilled adventurer.
''I've got a big rat in MY basement, if you know what I mean.''
>>513828This. Let's sell knives to the rats so Gnatalie earns some XP.
>>513779I mean, might as well deal with basement rats. We could go with a calmer simpler mission after the whole ordeal with the haunted house, right?
>>513779>>513810>>513823>>513871bois...bois. The basement rats are the name of a rock bad that has been wildly searched for their ability to rock and magical stage effects.Obviously we need a band with peter with a guitar, harmony on vocals, and gnat the keyboard/special effects person.
>>513779Reject terrible rat based quests, take a spin on the WHEEL OF QUESTS!A quest slot machine would also work.
>>513779So Gnat from Spat is about to hunt some rats?
do the basement rats quest. not the rats in my basement quests, the basement rats quest specifically.if it feels low end, that's fine, it's to get you started. and gnat agreed to come, so let's ease her into the whole questing dealy.
>>513779Discover that the "Basement rats" quest is in fact a quest from basement rats.
if she really doesn't want to handle basement rats then show the guy your bestiary and explain how your team slayed all those monsters.
>>514326Oooh thisunless the rat colonies are skrvkt's
>>513779Baiting us with that one different title. Pick the top right quest.
>>515343Do either Harmony or Gnat have an illumination spell? I feel that would be useful.
>>515343Stir the rats nest and see what pops out
>>515343Do we have some food on ourselves? Maybe some bread or fruit. It could help lure the rats out.
>>515343Explore the basement
>>515343Send Gnat first, ''supervise'' her from afar.
>>515346Harmony sounds more experienced. Did Splat tag along? Maybe he can smell the rats out.
>>515343Splat seems like he'd be a natural rat hunter, send him in
>>513779These will most certainly be dangerous ROUS, but we dont know that! Split up expecting to clear it faster!
>>515343>>515646had the same idea right now
>>516145Oh shit, Splat!Quickly get Splat out the laundry basket trap while keeping your guard up.
>>516145Dang, that basket brings back memories.
>>516145oh shit the rats have figured out how to use tools and traps!
>>516154>>516169Shouldn't Splat be able to escape from the basket, given the size of the holes?>>516145Proceed forward, and beware of traps.
>>516527HIS CROWN IS THE SOURCE OF HIS INTELLECT!KNOCK IT OFF HIS HEAD!
>>516527Remove crown. Become new king of rats.
>>516550This. Then ask him what kind of King doesn't wear a crown.
>>516527Retrieve crown, then crown Splat.
>>516577>not crowning a simple dog outside, granting him vast boosts of intelligence>inadvertently creating comedy dog via legitimate means in this serious quest
>>516582>>inadvertently creating comedy dog via legitimate means in this serious quest
>>516527>oh, we were just here to sell you some knives >proceed to establish human embassy in rat kingdom>once we get some trust from the rat king, steal the crown and crown Splat>now we have a rat army
This rat killing business reminds me of pic related
>>516527>>516542>>516550>>516577>>516620ALL HAIL KING SPLAT
>>516527Begin diplomatic negotiations. Talking is more our strong suit than straight up violence anyways, right? No need to make this harder with fighting.
>>517344Steal guard hats. Stare menacingly.
>>517344Have Gnatalie use her kinky vines on the ex-king and crown Splat. Offer the ex-king a countship under your generous rule.
>>517344Pushin for diplomacy, fucking around is fun but we do gotta resolve this problem if we're gonna be able to move on to better quests n' shit.
>>517361Also, if the king refuses, have Splat eat him and have him be the Count. Ask the rest of the rats if they have any objections,
>>517669Listen. The best case scenario is you kill me, and then the adventurers send a more powerful person to deal with you. What do you put your odds against a wizard that shoots snakes from their eyes?My point: let's cut a deal. You protect this lady's basement from all other pests and intruders, I'll see if she can't provide you with compensation. Be fair to her and I'll be fair to you.
>>517669Splat has lunch and is the new King of the Rats. Look sternly at the rest of the rats and ask if they have any objections.
>>517669Better yet, we convince these rats to help us expand their protection services by bringing the other rats in the other basements to heel.
>>517669Maybe at least be honest with the rats? Say what you were sent there to do and mention that this is really the best conceivable outcome for these rats. None of them have to die.
>>517669What if the King of Rats actually possessed a rat king amongst his troops
>>517669Have Retchtile eat their king and see if they're so tough.The time for negotiations is over, send these rodents into rout.
>>517669Wait a minuteOur last name is Titmouse, rightWe obviously have some connection to these rodents
>>518232>Just considering the mouse part in TitmouseDon't forget the Tit part
>>518204This, there can be no survivors
>>518204Don't do this.
>>517669Offer to help turn his rat kingdom into a rat EMPIRE
>>518393>>518388He already has claimed he will bow to nobody. Maybe he can be convinced if we slaughter his guards, but then his people will be resentful. If we only kill him, and illuminate his followers with the truth of his brutal reign and his willingness to let them sacrifice themselves for him, we can sway his people to our favour and use them as a mercenary army against other rats.
We is kings n shit
Damn, suddenly I feel like I'm back in 2002.
>>518428>Not stealing the guardsrat's helmetPeter is losing his touch
>>518428>Rats can transfer themselves to the moon as voice over IP.>Meanwhile humans probably don't even have indoor toilets.
>>518428That de-escalated quickly.Let's go to the casino and tell the questmaster Gnatalie is a big girl now for him, then we head for lunch at Jedrik's
>>518428Give Splat the Crown, he deserves it
>>518446This, we must have a King Splat
>>518428>>518426Are you gonna add my masterpiece to your fanart page, senpai?
>>518871What a cocksucker. Ignore the very obvious plot point and find a good quest to do.
>>518871Is that Piper? Find out who the cutie is.
>>518871I want that glove.
>>518871challenge her to a game of dice bet our fanciest knife against her glove
>>518875Thirding. Lets do another quest before jumping into something fishing like that. Also that guy is obviously cheating so gambling against him would be stupid.
>>518875This.You cant tell us what to do, Okk!! YOU ARN'T OUR REAL MOM!!!!
>>518938I would say tha we can't tell Questy what to do, what draw.The voice we have, the choice we have, is only an ilusion. Okk leads the story exactly as he wants it.
>>518968Questy's been excited to introduce Piper for a while now. We're obviously going to be railroaded so hard we can't walk the day after.
Have we upgraded our bestiary with Moon Mice?>weakness: getting their boss eaten
>>518875agreed, were no cheaters
>>519093Oh shit I just remembered I already voted ignore this post I sucks cocks
>>519339Sure, examine THISThen throw the knife at her face.Cheese it after we kill her.
>>519339This seems like an obvious setup to take our shit and run without having to gamble. Don't show her it.besides, if we don't show her the actually fancy knife we can put up our worst knife instead
>>519339Whip out that Knife we got from some cursed tomb in our life of adventuring, it will coincidentally be some ritual knife she needs for evilness
>>519346Oops, forgot to take off my name I used in notapaladin's Civ Thing.
>>519339Oh hi not-PiperWhile we negotiate the terms and conditions and she's busy examining the knife, bag her gauntlet and leg itinb4 we earn ourselves a nemesis
>>519339>>519347whip out our dick"fanciest knife""most prized possesion""mind if i "examine" it..." Dicks out for harumbe baby!
>>519339Examine this!*unzips dick*
>>519364>>519399gr8 minds think alike
>>519364>>519399>Implying that isn't her planYou're falling right for the blade = dick memeShe's a semen demon, look at that getup. Show her the knife so she doesn't eat our soul via blowjob
>>519408>Show her the knife so she doesn't eat our soul via blowjobIs there a problem with this?
>>519413We'll be basically casting a dry spell on Harmony if we lose our soul
>>519413We'll miss out on a Harmony-Gnatalie-Splat fourway if we're deaded
>>519339We could take out a knife with the mighty Mouse King Helm shoved onto the hilt where the pommel is.
Can we show a shitty knife while we steal her gauntlet and replace it with a shitty piece a wood ?
>>519634Gnatalie is gonna be real mad.Let's go to Jedrik's already.
>>519634Hit on that cutie blonde
>>519641That would get Gnatalie even madder.
>>519634Oh.Whoops.Whatever, I'm sure she wasn't important to the plot at all. Back to what we were doing.
>>519640If Harmony and Gnatalie ask, we were just trying to relieve her of her gauntlet so she doesn't trick innocent fools out of their money
>>519634TELL HER TO WAIT UP AND YELL "DICKS OUT FOR HARUMBABY!"*translation tell that bitch to move on and avoid this plot questline*
>>519634Tell the dealer Red was using magic to rig the game and go back to the quest board.
You're the best, Questy.
>>519937For more than a decade now, you have been my dearest friend, Anonymous. Thank you for always being there for me.
>>519634now while her back is turned, steal her gauntlet with your skills.
>>519953Woah we're good.But not obvious plot point robbing good.
>>519634Steal her glove. Then, report her to the casino's staff.
>>519634Touch her butt
>>519949You work hard on comics to give people lulz, and you actually made it it. What did you expected, Questy?
>>519961She seems like a pro. It might be easier to report her first and then have the staff confiscate the glove, so we can more easily steal it from the staff.
>>520183By fire be purged!
>>520183Girl if you want me to not fuck around, mark me as your man already.Gimme a hicky.Cover me in your lipstick. Give me Ode de Gnat. Because you ain't suckin' but you throwing shade.
>>520183Screw the plot, go shopping for some fancy new adventuring gear!
>>520198Jedrik is a blacksmith, he can make gear
>>520183the only obvious answer is to follow.Also, if you happen to go past jedricks house, say you're chasing a giant spider woman
>>520183Let's go to Jedrik's and see if we can buy ourselves a fine weapon. All things considered our days as a thief are waning, so we should consider a reclass so we can take on more dangerous quests.We should look for a good sword (and reclass to swordsman/ronin) or an arquebus (reclass to arquebusier). Either way, ask about training for the new equipment after the purchase.
>>520183Ignore it. Questy, you're not going to make us follow this obvious questline.
>>520183Follow her>All these fags ignoring the plot for shit and giggles
>>520183Do a 360 and walk away.
>>520258But you all followed the Basement Rats quest because of the different title. We've always been sheep.
>>520183Ok, time to go meet our buddy
>>520183Maybe we could try following her for a bit, she seems up to start trouble anytime. Maximum stealth, of course.
>>520183See if it is a living thing, if so make note of it in your beastiary. Also add those magic moon rats too the beastiary if you haven't already.
>>520351Like a smooth criminal
Bumping before auto sage
>>520183Destroy the wall marked with the red X
>>521560>"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BLOW UP MY HOUSE"
>>520183DID SOMEONE SAY THIRD GIRL?
>>521649"good thing none of you have any hats, otherwise i would be tempted to steal them." ;)introduce your companions.
Casualy say:>"hey guys! Nice to meet you all!*to girl>"I knew your dad way back when..."*turn to Jedrick*>"btw there's a red-haired psycho-cheat whose jacking up the city, lets avoid this plotpoint and get wasted"
>>521652Maybe that's why they don't have hats
>>521649Make a thief pun involving the penny form of currency.Oh and introductions too, with more clever puns to show his family that Jedrik has witty friends.
>>521649finally got to BLACK a girl, huh Jedrik?
>>521666i dont get this pun at all
>>521664>"well a PENNY isn't worth stealing, so COUNT yourself lucky"then wiggle your eyebrows like a fucking catapilar on LSD
>>521672If they mention the eyebrows say they are your pride and joy
>>521649Ask him about the Red lady. If he's local, he might know something about her or at least the magic chair and glove.
>>521649Congratulate our friend on his marriage. Compliment his wife. Give his kid a hat (or two). The rat king's crown would look awesome on a doll.>"btw there's a red-haired psycho cheat whose jacking up the city. Let's avoid the plot point and get wasted."> She shows up at the next bar.
>>521706>Give his kid a hat (or two). The rat king's crown would look awesome on a doll.Oh god this, so much this. The dean's hat would do a swell pijama cap, but I fear Gnatalie already has dibs on that one.Do we still have the mansion top hat? It would be a great start for a magician costume for her.
>>521649Do a coin trick and pull a nickel and dime from behind Penny's ear. Then go "wait that's not right", then pull out a penny from behind Jehdrik's instead.A penny for Penny, lest our audience be nickel and dime'd.Enjoy a casual conversation then get on to business: we need a weapon and training.
>>521649Pull a coin out from behind the kids ear, jokingly accuse child of being a thief.
>>521671The joke is that a man of African desent is having sexual relations with a white woman
>>521649Introduce our companions and ask about the family.Ask if he knows anything about a red-haired girl with a magic gauntlet on a giant spiderchair when his family isn't listening.
>>521649God damn how many leg days did Jedrik skip like shit this nigga a straight up gorilla.
>>521649Penny must die. For plot purposes.
>>522310Now for a coin trick!
>>522310"Weird. Saw one walking around. Looked intimidating, so didn't want to exactly walk up and say hi right away. But, all in due time. I'm glad to see one of us doing rather well, really."Talk WHILE doing the coin trick.
>>522310Poor Splat :(>>522333this
>>522310Ask Jedrik if he wants to come along with us. If he says no, let's make it a family trip.
>>522310Do a coin trick to break the ice a bit, then catch up on old times.
>>522310Also, don't forget to upgrade our gear and get some supplies.
>>522451Don't do that
>>522451Nope, we already have enough party members
>>522697We could use a tank
>>522700So find one that isn't happily retired
>>522757Come on, we're just gonna track a cheating spiderchairgirl, it's not as if we're gonna crack down a demonic cult or are we?
>>522794Do the coin trick first. Penny looks tense.Then we track the girl, with Jedrik, without the girls.I may or may not have a huge fetish for sidecuts.I told you to wait for third girl before making harsh decisions.
>>523643Where were you five pages ago?
>>522310MEANWHILE IN THE LEGION OF CHAD...
>>524120YES we must become the CHAD for at least one or two updates.
>>524142THISis a good idea.I wanna see this mana shit
>>523643I don't, I'd rather not have her be a regular part of the quest.
Maybe those moon rats can help?
>>523822Away from the Internets...I'll go back to mostly lurking until I have more time and an actual connection.
>>522310Time to steal some upgraded equipment around town for Tim, and to find new books for Gnat.she need to learn new spells.
>>528364Make Tim the main character, he deserves it.
OP, where art þou?
OP, WHERE ART THOU?
>>545758>Current Year>Being racist
>>545812>2016>not being racistGet out of here John Oliver