Oh shit nigger, you're a submarine captain. But in the last episode you lost both your sub and your crew. But luckily, you were brough to the secret undersea lair of your cult leader uncle and he gave you a new sub along with a crew of orcs. Now all you gotta do is head to the dock to meet them. What do you do?Previous threads:http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2Ahttps://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>429833Punch self in face
>>429838and here we go
>>429838And so you did
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>429841Pray for Harambe
>>429841Go find old crew and sub and combine both new and old subs
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>429841Let us head to the dock at the same time punching on our face.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>429845>>429841
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>429853check your to do list
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>429853>>429845
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>429865Add commit genocide to the listif it's not already on there
>>429872It's on the other side
>>429876eat a taco.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>429876Add getting a new sweet power armor with drills.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>429876ask if new crew has women
>>429887sorry I'm new and stupid. how do I roll here?
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>429893dice+1d10 in the options
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>429894thanks friend
>>429892"No, chosen one""We're merely orcs""Orc dudes"
Oh shit nigger. I haven't partaken in one of these threads since the Metal Wizard. I took a hiatus of 4chan and I thought you ditched this place. Only now I thought of checking out the "new" boards. Well glad to be able to partake in these festivities again.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>429903Aquire female orcs
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>429903" So why are we standing around instead of raping and pillaging? "
>>429913Yes, time to find some female orcsRoll 1d100 to find female orcs. Fist number decides if your post gets picked, second is the result1-95: failure96-100: success
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>429927MUH WAIFU
Rolled 60, 56 = 116 (2d100)>>429927TIME TO FIND BOOTY, IT'S ON YOUR LISTnigga, don't you mean 2d100?
>>429931Looks like we just solve this the navy way. One of the boys is going to have to wear a dress. Don't ask. Don't tell
>>429934No, it's because no matter what, second number will be zero No green skinned waifus 4 u
>>429942search for a taco vendor. genocide can wait.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>429942time to search for "booty" quest priority
>>429956And so it is put inside your "important quests" tab
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>429967check out your new sub
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>429967What about the old crew?They'd still be useful.Unless they suddenly became our rivals
>>429980MEANWHILE, BACK AT YOUR OLD SUB"Alright guys, that was great, good job all around.""Yeah, our raid on the pirate-themed tourist cruise sub was a huge success"
>>429998your new sub is shaped like a sandwich
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>429998your new crew must also acquire costumes
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>429998Give them a call and see if they want to join you again
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>429998Those assholes
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>429998Our new sub is shaped like Millennium Falcon.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>430031btwYour new Sub is entirely made out of weaponsbecause reasons
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>430031" This is the automated massage to inform everyone calling how happy we are without our old boss. He's an asshole " " Yes, hello? "
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>430031They accidentally butt answer the phone and you eavesdrop on their conversation
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>430031your least favorite crew member answers
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>430031Moshi moshi
>>430043"Hey, you guys miss the old captain?""Oh you mean that asshole who ran away?""Yeah that jerkwad who abandoned his own crew""He's a dickhead""Total fucker""Huge douchebag""Still owes me money"
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>430051You guys left me to die you assholes
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>430051check new sub fuck those nigs
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>430051"b-but he's super handsome, right?"
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430051Masturbate to the conversation
>>430057"The fuck you talking about""I mean...he's...not...bad looking, I guess""gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy""s-shut up""Yeah man, that's pretty gay" "Whaaat, I just think he has a very handsome and attractive face with a manly jaw. No homo""That was pretty homo"
>>430059>A fucking 10Bow down to me, the dice god's chosen one.
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430061Go on the most awesome adventure to make them jealous
>>430066Right, so let's head to where your new sub is waiting. A cruise-sub, meant for tourism. That's what you asked your uncle for in the last episode.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>430077 check out the captain's quarters
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>430077Paint it awesome colors
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>430077spray your name on the sub>>430070I thought it's customary to not post pics in quests threads
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>430077Paint a dick on it and laugh until the sun goes down
>>430086aND SO YOU DID
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>430092Adventure
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>430092Use crafting skill to make the ship dope as fuck
>>430096"Aye, captain. Where to?"
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>430101where you can find "booty"
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430101To sunken pirate treasure island
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>430101AdventureLand
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430086I thought it was fine posting reaction... Deleted image.>>430101To sunken pirate treasure island with BOOTY.
>>430106"Very well captain, here is the map""On our way there we'll have to pass through treacherous ravines, sea monsters and a giant robot">>430112It is fine mah nigga, no worries.
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>430114Yololets go
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430114Why dont we go all the way around and avoid all that?
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430114go befriend the giant octopus
>>430120"Fuck you faggot, I'm building a railroad here and you're gonna ride on it" said OP
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>430125What if we just steal the giant mech and shoot our way through?
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>430125Quicky everyone! Destroy the railroad ahead of us fellow anons!
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>430125okay now go befriend octobro
>>430129You fired torpedoes and blew up OP's railroald"Nooooooooooo, my videogame-like progressioooooonnnn"
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>430136Steal the mech while OP tries to fix the railroad.
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>430136you spot something moving underneath the rubble
>>430138Roll 2d100 to attempt to capture mech1-59: great failure60-89: failure90-100: success
Rolled 85, 100 = 185 (2d100)>>430155k
>>430160Oh shit, it's the chosen one
>>430160YOu got: a mech. Your sub is now housed inside it
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>430171Use this mech to defeat a wai- I mean Kaiju.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>430171Upgrade the mech with swag
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>430171make the mech pose
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430171Hey, nothing can possibly go wrong now right?
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>430171What does the mech have?
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430182fight a random innocent kaijuhe has a family of 3
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430182Now go battle an ancient horror for loot
>>430186Ah yes, an innocent family kaiju that works hard every day from 9 to 5. He has a wife and kid, whom he dearly loves.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>430198DEUS VULTKILL KAIJU DAD
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>4301982 CHOICES, GIVE US THE KID OR DEATH
>>430203"WHAT?! No! Get outta my home!"
>>430198They both eat the kid
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>430205Final chance!*Flashing guns menacingly.
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430205Option 1Kill them allOption 2Kill them allOption 3 Kill them all
>>430223What, are you a Jian or something?
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>430242Recruit Kaiju
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>430242Pick option 4, purge the father and enslave the others.
>>430249And now, you fight Kaiju Dad
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>430258He tears mech apart like wet carboard
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>430258Use our mega combo
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>430258Shoot that dumbass who doesn't have guns.
>>430265roll 2d1001-59: great failure60-89: failure90-100: success
Rolled 79, 100 = 179 (2d100)>>430279>>430262
>>430280fug I wanted a shitty roll not a 100
>>430279>>430280THE CHOSEN ONES ARE WITH US TODAY'
>>430280Two 100s in a row, the fucking odds for this.
>>430283Shut it Kaiju apologist.We're purging today.
>>430280"DIRECT HIT, CAPTAIN!"
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>430295It is completely unharmed
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>430295Continue firing
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>430295With that taken care of proceed to put the kaiju child into your cargo hold and leave.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>430309The child begs you to stop hurting its father
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>430309KEEP FIRING
>>430309Kill him an then eat it
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>430309ULTIMATE ATTACK
>>430311"Please mister giant murderous robot, stop hurting papa"
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430323KillThemAll
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>430323Well little boy, for me to stop just step on into my cargo hold and say goodbye to your momma.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>430323Kick the child
>>430323The kid gets angry cuz the mech keeps firing him,then the kid transforms into a masive monster of anger
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>430323kill the kid without mercy
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430333Use the kaiju parts to upgrade your mech, also grow a villainous mustache.
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430341The mech grows a mustache too
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>430347So does your crew also.
Rolled 4, 3 = 7 (2d6)>>430347Then the dead bodies of the monsters combine and make a mecha monster
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>430361Your old crew also grows better mustaches.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>430371OH NOTHE KAIJU BROUGHT REINFORCEMENTS
>>430375Oh fuck, Kaiju Granpa
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>430382He is actually a pretty cool guy
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>430382He was Godzilla's brightest student in Kaiju-fu
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>430382Grandpa roasts us with his fire breath
>>430388but we are in deep sea?
>>430388Luckily, you're underwater, so it doesn't hurt too much. But you still sustained heavy damage.>>430390Kaiju magic
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>430395Set the guns to fuller auto.
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430395Your ultimate has charged"Nerf this!"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>430416what supposed to be your overpowered attack now hurts your mech
>>430430Oh fuck, your guns exploded
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>430441Grandpa suplexes us
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>430457apologise and recruit, blame your crew for the killings
>>430466"Bah! You'll have to pay, in blood! You killed my son and my grandson! Therefore 2 of you must become sacrifices if you want to apologize"
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>430475ask if you can Sacrifice your old crew
>>430485Call your old crew
>>430485Fuck, forgot pic
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>430485>>430501pick two random orcs and send them out to to the kaijuthen recruit him
>>430504And so two orcs were eaten. YOu now only ahve 3 orcs left.Roll 2d100 to recruit the kaiju1-99: failure100: success
Rolled 98, 43 = 141 (2d100)>>430507flirt with him that should do the trick
>>430512YOu tried to flirt with him. Sickened by your homo ways, the kaiju smacked you into a nearby rock and left
>>430515off to adventure
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>430515Fuse with the rock
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>430518>>430515
>>430520You fused with the rock
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>430535now for the next adventurepassing through a nest of shitty edgy music singing sirens
>>430541"CRAAAWWWWLIIING IN MY SKIIIIIN. THESE WOUNDS THEY DO NOT HEEEAAALLLLL"
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>430552get depressed
>>430556You get depressed, thinking about all the terrible things that has happened to you. Lost your sub, your crew, lost 2 of your new crew, got rekt by a sea king, got smacked around by kaiju, your thread suddenly slowed down to a crawl,...
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>430559Consider suicide, start writing up a list of pros and cons for it
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>430566counter sirens with elevator music
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>430566Pros: you will get to meet your waifu for real, will no longer have to put up with your useless crewCons: the adventure will end, extremely painful
>>430570Roll 2d100 to see if your elevator music works1-49: huge failure50-79: failure80-100: success
Rolled 11, 7 = 18 (2d100)>>430577slow day today?
>>430583Yep, it's so slow that your elevator music actually enraged the edgy sirens and they attacked you with a sonic attack. Your mech and crew are rattled and stunned. In fact, you're so stunned that the thread will now be put on hold because it's wayyyy too slow now anyway.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>430588Revive thread
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>430588>>432270
Rolled 4 (1d10)Try to give the Sirens epileptic seizures with Dethklok music videos.
>>432288RIP in pieces
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>430588Cast phoenix down to revive thread
Can thread be relly be revived? How many people are in here right now?
>>433493Probably not enough but I'll be here.In my dreams
>>433509>dreamsfor what porpoise
>>433512Got stuff to do early in the morningGodspeed anyway NaP
>>433515Well it's not like there's enough people in here anyway right now, and I still need to eat lunch.Update tomorrow
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>433520It's tomorrow now
Rolled 6 (1d10)Bumpity
>>433658That doesn't count
>>433775Nuh uh, it does
>>433783Come on man
>>433788It's mostly because I'm physically incapable of doing it right now. I dont have access to my drawing tablet right now
>>433800Please draw with your penis instead
>>433817nolets not take things too fari can wait
>>433800Is it required to always roll a dice from 1 to 10 in the quest?
>>434017Yes, whoever has the highest roll in a minute since the first reply will be the action that gets picked
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>434038No it doesnt
Alright, who's here for an update
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>433493>>436908Roll to become a rapist.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>436908punch yourself in the mustache
>>436917You roll around in an attempt to become a rapist. Dunno how that would make you a rapist but you did it anyway.
>>436924YOu rolled so hard you forgot the picture too
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>436930Your moustache grew tho
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>436930where mustache punching, OP?
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>436930Buy some crack
>>436933Right here in my sack of wondrous wonders
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>436937What else is in the sack?
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>436937Op punch self in face
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>436937get super robot pilot out of there as cameo party member then
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>436937A fist escapes and hits OP
Rolled 5 (1d10)OP becomes a faggot
>>436939Skeletons, lots and lots of skeletons. And giant robots.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>436950one giant robot plzwith boobs
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>436950What's in the secret bag?
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>436950Hello Simon
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>436950Go fuck yourself
>>436953Joke's on you, that's in the other secret bag, bye.OP has escaped
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>436963Back to the story! Lets repair our mech.
>>436963No he didnt
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>436963he trips over
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>436963The bag becomes new op
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>436963Anon chases OP and steals the sack.
>>436965And so a brave orc crewman volunteered for this mission.But now he's being attacked by the edgy sirens"CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAST RESORT" the edgy sirens "sang"
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>436975SUFFOCATION! NO BREATHING!
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>436975Send out the rest of the crew with harpoon guns to save him.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>436975sing anime openings
>>436977"Oh fug, the captain's choking himself!""He's suffocating and not breathing!"
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>436987Have your crew activate their stands to save both the orc and the captain.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>436987That was all to prepare for a super attackSing naruto opening 16
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>436987>>436983sing anime openings fag
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>436987Tiptoe through the window, by the window That's where I'll be come tiptoe, through the tulips, with meeeeeeWoo those sirens with kind lyrics!
>>436988"Like,...a hat stand?""Or a hotdog stand, wut?"Deep sea orc cultists seem to not ahve watched any anime
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>436997Oh. Cult right. Use your demon magic then
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>436997lend them your copies of GEKIGANGER 3
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>436997Just use your sacrificial knives
>>437005"Aye aye, cap'n"
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>437008Sick the demon on the sirens loyal crew.
>>437008give demon your copies of GEKIGANGER 3for science
>>437009The demon attacks the sirens, giving the orc outside time to repair your mech
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>437016watch your copies of GEKIGANGER 3 alone
>>437017As the situation is now udner control, you retreat to your captain's quarters to watch GEKIGANGER 3.But then you find somebody has replaced every single piece of media inside your room with a copy of Doozy Bots
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>437031hang yourself
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>437031Investigate who did this
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>437031Become enraged and find the culprit
>>437034This is unacceptable, you must get to the bottom of. Let's start by investigating the replaced disc boxes, perhaps you'll find some clues
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>437043find a cluedetective dick style
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>437043Check the camera records
>>437046"Oh so you eman mess around until you accomplish nothing because ur a faget?" said Crimelord Dick. Detective Dick's evil clone from a another dimension
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>437053Interrogate your crew
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>437053ask one from better dimensionyou got him on the phonehe got same chin
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>437055And put that interdimensional fucker on your suspect list
>>437055"Alright, whodunnit?" you askedYour crew all answered "Dunno, cap'n"
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>437067suddenly coldgate commercial
>>437069"HEY YOU! DO YOU FEAR FOR YOUR PERSONAL HYGIENE WHEN YOU'RE OUT CRUSHING YOUR ENEMIES, SEEING THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU AND HEARING THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR WOMEN?! THEN COLDGATE IS THE PERFECT TOOTHPASTE FOR YOU! BUY NOW AT YOUR LOCAL STORE! ONLY 9.99--" then the Barbarian Co. Salesman was tackled by a KingCorp. Agent
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>437075meanwhile behind the scenes one of your crewmember dissappeared without a trace
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>437075Take out your detective revolver and search the crews rooms
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>437079Offer the reward of the only jar of peanut butter we have in exchange for information.
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>437079find a bootin a demon
>>437082"Well, I did see this suspicious guy outside our sub"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>437094Fucking rage mode activated.Leap at him and breach through the sub just to get his neck in our strong manly hands
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>437094ONORE QUATTRO
>>437100>>437100Roll 2d100 to bust through your own sub to grab his neck with your manly captain handsFirst number is the choosing while second is result1-49: terrible failure50-79:failure80-99: success100: great success
Rolled 6, 86 = 92 (2d100)>>437118ONORE CHAAAA
Rolled 40, 87 = 127 (2d100)>>437118
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>437124gimme back my gekiganger you sicko
>>437127"Whoops, accidentally threw them all inside an active volcano" said the captured KingCorp Agent
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>437139make him eat his hat
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>437139Crew, time to bring out the shitty music.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>437154Threaten to throw him with the edgy sirens.
>>437164"Hah! Joke's on you! Listening to all genres of shitty music is part of basic agent training! The sirens are of no threat to me"
>>437169just make him watch Doozy bots for few days and nights straight
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>437169Make him watch that mistake which somehow got onto our sub.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437169Make him watch SAO
>>437172And so the agent is forced to watch the horrible abomination that is the cancelled American Adaptation of SD Gundam: Doozy Bots.He seems to be enjoying himself.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437186change it on lucky star then
>>437186I'm absolutely terrified of how these guys were trained.
>>437190"Blue hair worst girl"
>>437210Make him watch the ALO arc of SAO.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>437210slap him
>>437213"My god...that is...one of the weakest slaps ever in the history of mankind. Wow"
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>437210Call him names
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437219I KNOWTHROW HIM IN BARBARIAN UNIVERSE
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>437224>>437219
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437219tickle the bottom of his feet
>>437229"Ah yes, the one universe where the barbarians triumphed against the forces of the kingdom. I thought I was jsut a myth"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>437249they'll teach him a reality of situation
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>437249Toss him in
>>437255As various sounds of violence emanates from the portal to Barbarian Realm, you think about what you should do now
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>437269PANCAKES
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>437269Go to sunken pirate treasure island
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437287Uh we are already thereOh fuck what's happening to the mech?
>>437275Right, roll 2d100 to make pancakes1-49: terrible failure50-79: failure80-99: success100: greeat success
Rolled 18, 44 = 62 (2d100)>>437293do we have good maple syrup?
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437269PANCAKES
Rolled 56, 13 = 69 (2d100)>>437293When did we make it to sunken treasure pirate island?Last time I checked all we did is fuse with the rock.
Rolled 73, 49 = 122 (2d100)>>437293
>>437301We didn't, still a long way to there.In other news you managed so somehow blew up the mech into unrepairable smithereens with your cooking.And your pancakes sucked.
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>437310Call your insurance so you can get a new one.
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>437310FuckHead to sunken pirate treasure island while listening to house music
>>437319And so your sub heads for the sunken pirate treasure island while you listen to house musicAs is "music" made by literally recording the sounds of a house
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>437319>house musicKill yourselfRolling to kill this anon op
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437345I'm bullet proof
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>437369House music blares
>>437376Music of the house plays triumphantly
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>437384I'm behind you op
>>437384continue on our quest to find treasure and leave the poor anon to die in the depths of the ocean.
>>437391You look like an asshole, anon
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>437405Start fondling op
>>437407"That's pretty gay" said the captain"Like his taste in music" said other anon
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>437417whoops
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>437413Use magic to reverse that sentence making them call each other gay.
>>437421Whoops, anon's magic backfired on him and branded him as the homo instead.
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>437413Seduce op with a perfect pancake
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>437422Damn black magic should have gone with China magic
>>437425"Ay fack yu foleignuh, china magic tuu stchong fo yu"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>437433Use weaboo magic get a fedora and a chinese-market katana to cut up op
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>437433Shut up bugs
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>437433Kill anon
>>437436Nigga china shit is crap quality
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>437447Back to the story! Also anon has a heart attack.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>437447Use a vaginal monolog to scare op into submission
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437447Use fedora which was silver-edged all along to cut up OP
>>437450As anon dies of a heart attack, you've reached the sunken pirate treasure island
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>437465Suddenly, a giant kaiju falls from the sky
>>437471Meanwhile, back on land, a giant alien monster falls from the sky onto some mountains
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>437471Under water faggot>>437465Explore
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>437492A gundam falls on the kaiju
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>437513Moon it
>>437513They fight to the death as we get our mech out of the ocean(Or did it get fucked by the sirens)
>>437517moon what>>437519The mech exploded, see >>437310
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>437524You show your bare ass to the gundam
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437524the gundam's ours now
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>437538What drugs are we on that were seeing all this shit?
>>437544Just this little jar you took from one of your orc crewmen. Tasted like strawberries.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>437551Take the suppository version of the drugs
>>437556"That's a pretty gay idea, anon. You sound like a huge homo"
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>437573I am ;^)
>>437585"Let's put anon inside the gay box and not listen to his homo ravings"
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>437590mhphf mphfph mfff*muffled homo sounds*
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>437590Explore the island
>>437599YOu found a way onto the sunken island and finds parts of it has not been filled with water
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>437611But it is filled with Red Jell-o
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>437611punch self in face
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>437611Dont forget to take your gun
>>437615Undeed, somebody's been using this place to store Red Jell-o
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>437627Have your crewmen take it to the submarine while you explore.
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>437627A dubloons in the jello
>>437636And somebody's been using the jell-o to store treasure
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>437646Dive inside to save the loot
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>437655Orcs better help or their God will punish then
>>437659"Yes, chosen one"With a push from one of the orcs, you are launched straight into the jello and at the treasure
>>437678Retrieve the treasure and eat your way out
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>437678We get shot straight through and miss the treasure.
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>437689Whoops>>437678
>>437695You got: ancient gold coin
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>437709eat it
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437709Spend it on a soda
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>437709Store jello for food
>>437718As you look around for a source of soda you can spend the coin on, you find another opening leading further inside.Perhaps there's soda in there
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>437724Nope. You found your old Cook though.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>437724Let's check it out
>>437741"You! What are you doing here?"
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>437760"Not eating Manlet if that's what you are thinking."
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437760I missed you guys... and I'm the chosen one
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>437760WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
>>437777"Well, I'm...uh..we're....*cough*totallynotusingthissunkenpirateislandasasecretstashofallthetreasurewevegotafteryou'veleftifthatswhatyoureimplying*cough*...I uh mean...we're exploring this here totally new and undiscovered sunken pirate island, yes"
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>437799I miss you guys .. these orcs are boring....And didn't you leave me to a Fishman mob attack?!
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>437799Cultist use their sacrificial knives on Cook
>>437805"Actually, we were escaping a fishman mob with you onboard but then you decided to abandon us by using one of the escape pods and launched yourself into the deep dark abyss" said the manlet
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>437816No way I remember you guys were contemplating saving and I got saved by cultists, you little liar!
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>437816Wait, I just have to catch up with the quest before I reply
>>437828"Well you see, as Steve tells it, we were an independent submarine crew in search of treasure and profit in the deep dark ocean, in our recent travels we battled sea monsters and giant robots shaped like sea monsters. Tangled with the navy and the paladins. Even got arrested. Twice. In our last encounter when you're still captain we unwittingly challenged the Sea King of Atlantis and got our shit pushed in. When we were making a tactical retreat you for some reason used an escape pod to attack the seamen by yourself, leaving us behind. And before we could do anything you got taken by cultitsts. So now apparently you have a new crew now composed of brainwashed orc cultists because youre a dumbass who still owes him money. That's what Steve said"
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>437860Your symbiote comes to greet you
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>437860Steve is an idiot. Come join my crew it will be fun and Steve can join if he wants.
>>437869"Greetings, former host"
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>437891Want to be a cool suit of armor again?
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>437891Oh wow, way to latch on to Steve, you were so close to being the chosen one.You say smugly
>>437897"Eeeeeeeeh...I do that with Steve now. He feeds me burgers n stuff"
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>437910Can someone explain the jello?
>>437915"What is there to explain? It's just jell-o"
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>437911>>2>"dice+2d6" without the quotes in the options field rolls 2d6>>437918Can we get a list of our objectives and status report? Didn't one of our orcs die?
>>437925Checking your to-do list gives you your current tasks.As for status, you currently have a Cruise-class sub, meant for tourism, minimal weapons, average armor.Your current consists of: 2 orcs. It used to be more but two of them were sacrificed to a kaiju because you killed his son and grandson, and one disappeared mysteriously, most liekly killed by the KingCorp agent you sent to the Barbarian dimension.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>437940Hey old crew, do you guys happen to have any robots for sale that can act as crew?
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437940Try to get your old crew to join you instead of gloating
>>437944"Well, we do ahve robots, but I'm afraid they're already part of our crew""Alright guys, bring the huge treasure chest full of booty over here, next to the other huge treasure chest full of booty."
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>437960Get depressedCall uncle for back up
>>437976But which one of your uncles? Owner of KingCorp Uncle; Cult Leader Uncle or Mercenary uncle?
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>437995Eh... all of them.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>437995The cool one, you know ..... the really cool one, that way your old crew will want to join again.
>>438000Ah yes, your literal coolest uncle. Cryogenically frozen Uncle.Hmmm...not picking up
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>438014Huh, I kind of want to masturbate to my Uncle Lester.
>>438015"Gaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" yelled Dan, another of your former crewmen
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>438021Fine then our awesome radical uncle
>>438026Ah yes, forever stuck in the 90s uncle
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>438041Get these faggot to join my crew
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>438041How many uncles do we have and why do they all look the same?
>>438063The king is a powerful man
>>438059"Woah dudes. You should totally re-join my nephew, it'd be totes radical, maaaana. Now check out this sweet backflip""Well okay"And so they all rejoined you, except for Steve, who was not present at the moment so you'll ahve to convince him later.>>438063A really long family line of mustachio'd men that dates back to ancient times. Your ancestors were very powerful. And virile.
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>438085Now grow a fuller mustache like your uncle to solidify the old crew's loyalty.Grow it out of sheer spite of steve!
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>438085Grow a mustache thats better than all your uncles
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>438108Have a colored stripe to make you look wiser
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>438108Shave your mustache and make it a Hitler mustache.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>438108Even Better, it has to put every mans mustache in the world to shame.
>>438118Aw you dick
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>438126Now grow your mustache both left and right sides but a gap between the Hitler Stache to make it the "the winged hitler"
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>438126Grow a full beard in the shape of a tiger throwing grenades.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>438126Live in your mother's basement and draw on 4chan
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>438147Browse 4chan
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>438147Explain to crew that you have backing of the cultist, and we get to do what ever we want
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>438165Call them a faggot
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>438165End up "accidentally" watching gay porn
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>438178Mom walks in
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>438178Don't do it!One of the orcs saves you from homoness
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>438178Don't you fucking click that.Actually if we click it would it summon Steve?
>>438180Well that's a strange title for a porno
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>438189>>438184
>>438197One of them unplugged your PC
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>438210Phew thanks lad, almost lost sight of our true goal
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>438210It was mom
>>438216Yes, and that is--"Oh hey guys, what's going?"
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>438225Punch steve in his fat mouth
>>438231"Oh hey faglord. You still owe me money"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>438225Yell
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>438237You only get it if you join my crew
>>438241"That's what you said the last time to get me to join in the first place, jackass"#backstory
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>438252Well I promise this time
>>438258"Gonna hafta do better than that"
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>438266Use radical uncle again
>>438268And so Steve and Radical Uncle had a conversation, while skateboarding
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>438283God I hate steve
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>438283Radical Uncle becomes Jihad Uncle
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>438283Discuss with our crew who will take Steve's place as first mate assuming he doesn't join back
>>438286"Yeah, okay" - God
>>438304"fuck, forgot pic" - OP
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>438304Who wants to be new first mate?>>438309
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>438309Hey god, am I going to heaven?
>>438311"Eh....dunno""What's da pay like"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>438320Better than what your getting now
>>438326"Oh you mean upgrading from 5 dollars and 1 peanut to...2 peanuts?""Yeah that sounds real good. I am toally shaking with how good that sounds"
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>438336Nah, half a peanut. You get the job if you pleasure me.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>438336Actually 10 dollars and 3 peanuts
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>438336Yeah totally and you get steve's 5 bucks too
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>438336How about 5 peanuts and 1 dollar?
>>438342"Man this sounds more retarded by the minute, I'm rejoining Steve""He actually pays us"
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>438351I'll kill you and Steve if you leave.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>438351Did you know steves a pedophile rapist?
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>438351>>438347
>>438354"Nigga you can't even kill a fly"
Rolled 2 (1d10)Fine, how about 100 dollars a week?
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>438368You wanna go bro! Come at me!
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>438368Rerolling for this>>438369
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>438402Wow things were awesome till some asshole ruined it all.Lets say I pay you more and give you steve's 5 bucks I owe him.
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>438402Little does he know that that was your decoy! Your right behind him about to strike!
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>438402ALL I WANTED WAS YOUR LOVE! I JUST WANTED FRIENDS AND ACCEPTANCE!
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>438402Rerolling for >>438369
>>438414"Doesn't seem right to take a nigga's owed money"
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>438425Common you're black, you don't give a shit.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>438425Turns out the captain talking right now is fake and the real captain walks in with steve.
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>438425Oh shut the fuck up you nigger, just take it like you take welfare checks.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>438425Cmon, you know he'd rather have his money go to a cherished friend
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>438444You get beat up by the fake captain and the crew discusses whether or not to kick one of you out.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>438444Uh oh, turns out, this is what happened.Now switch to the real captin
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>438444Real captain pulls out his legally concealed handgun and shoots fake captain.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>438454>>438444
>>438447[mumbling and discussing]
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>438468Real captain wins and ties up the fake one.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>438468The real captain wins, everyone gets raises
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>438486Where's the bomb?!
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>438486Alright guys, anything he said to you is wrong. Now what were you talking about?
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>438486Fake captain escapes.
>>438495The fake captain escaped into the portal to the Barbarian Universe
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>438512Now everything is back to normal
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>438512Shave your mustache to make it look like Hitler's, so that the crew will know if it's you or the fake captain once he comes back.
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>438512Has Steve come to a verdict?
>>438522OR HAS IT?!
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>438534yeah, it has
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>438534Damn you op, shoot him out of torpedoe tube 3
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>438534It has,
>>438537GUess it has. The gang's all back together since you blamed all the dumb things you did on your impostor.And that ends today's session. Thread will continue in a day or two. Probably two.updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>438553No shoot op, in the head
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>438576no with the lasers
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>438584No bullet lazers
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>438584well fuck I guess hibernate until OP continues
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>438595Anon gets shot while the rest hibernate untill next thread.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>438595Glowing Lazer bullets?
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>438614poor anon, welp let's eat his corpse
>>437777oooooooh nice quads
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>438614Awaken thread through sacrificial summoning
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>445761Bring back bell bottom jeans
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>450235Time for soup?
>>450238Alright, time to make some soup to get your crew's minds off the crazy stuff that's been happening lately due to your unexplained doppleganger.Roll 2d100 to make soup1-29: disaster30-59: failure60-89: success90-100: great success
Rolled 41, 74 = 115 (2d100)>>450248Yee best soup
Rolled 9, 55 = 64 (2d100)>>450248
>>450252You amde some tasty soup
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>450263Have manlet serve it
>>450273"Here you go"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>450286Well how is it?
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>450286you and your crew bond over love of soup
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>450286Well back to the sub with both crews
>>450320It tastes like "oh sure now you reply when I just decided to make a new thread"
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>450327Well then we better wrap this thread up extremely quick.Abandon dreams of being a submarine captain.Become a world famous soup chef.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>450327I'm driving give me a break, no really I need a break I can't stop!
>>450336Anan takes a break from the wheel, and crash into the new thread>>450337>>450337>>450337