You are a HIKIKOMORI, a FUJOSHI, and a SHY LOSER.Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Hikikomori%20QuestDiscord: https://discordapp.com/invite/BHtuR7c
The time is 10:46 AM on a Saturday. You felt DEAD asleep last night, but you’ve woken up to another hazy day as a shut-in. The room is familiar in its stench and crampedness, but a little different looking, too.You got in a bit of a tussle at a MAID CAFE before, but it’s been a week since then. You feel ready to face ANYTHING now. You’ve come to simply expect these random run-ins as part of your life. You’ve come to repeat to yourself that there’s just three more to go. Not like you have much else to do.>What do you do?
>>4138618>Ask T.D if anyone has come yet
>>4138618Take a bath, because of reasons.
>discordNo thanks, bro
>>4138618>Hug your son
>>4138640based>>4138635>>4138642>Take a bath, because of reasons.You take a bath, because this seems to have become a recurring theme. Naturally, you wear your glasses while doing so.You step out of the bathroom feeling REFRESHED. If this was an actual RPG, you'd imagine you'd probably have a stat boost right now, but it's not, so you're just noticeably less greasy.>What do you do?
>>4138650>hug your son and breadst friend>check peephole
>>4138652>>4138654>hug your son and breadst friend>check peepholeYou hug your SON and your BREADST FRIEND. This has come to become a daily ritual. Truly, you're the strongest. They welcome your HUG.After that, you check your peephole only to find nothing waiting outside. Astounding considering the usual circumstances. You are alerted, however, when you hear the DISQUID notification on your PC.>What do you do?
>>4138666>undressA voice in your head tells you to undress. You muster the strength to not.>>4138665>>4138671>>4138680>Check DISQUID!You open up DISQUID on your PC. The message wasn't from anyone on your friend's list. It looks like User12276865 is asking if you're number 1.>What do you do?
>>4138712>"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel."
>>4138712>nah mate I'm number 69Oh hey Blitz is on here>Message him to set up a gundam watching sessionI honestly can't remember if we actually made good on our promise to do this, and then if we starte but a constructor interrupted it, but it's been too long since we've seen this gremlin.
>>4138712>"I'm surprised you used the web most people just come to me"
>>4138716>>4138721>>4138732>Message him to set up a gundam watching sessionWhile you're free to message Catastrovania or even Samurai, Blitzrapier blocked you a while ago and you've been unable to get him to unblock you since. You're pretty sure all he ever does is SHITPOST in GUNDAM DISQUIDS anyways.>nah mate I'm number 69You attempt to BLUFF. The user on the other end - you can probably guess who it is - calls out your bluff. Figures, since the list of CONSTRUCTORS besides the top 10 are publicly posted.>What do you do?
>>4138742>ask summers and catastrovania how are they doing
>>4138742>act cooler than you actually are in rl >"All my past opponents came to me in person, does messaging me online reveal cowardice."
>>4138742>Blitz blocked usplz accept BL in all her gross glory already >If I am what are you gonna do about itWhat's he gonna do, drag us through the screen like a shitty persona ripoff?
>>4138755>act cooler than you actually are in rl >"All my past opponents came to me in person, does messaging me online reveal cowardice."You bluff yet AGAIN to attempt to call this guy out on his bullshit. Maybe you can scare him off with your whole "being-number-one-shtick."He doesn't seem to fall for it and sends you a picture of your front door. GOD, that's kind of creepy, dude.>What do you do?
>>4138778>Block him>Wish there was a real life block option too
>>4138778>"Close but I don't have a window to the right of my door."
>>4138783>>4138785>Block him>Wish there was a real life block option tooYou hit the block button before the guy can send you any more creeper messages. Hopefully he has the wrong do-You hear a LOUD KNOCK on the door. You can probably guess who that is.>What do you do?
>>4138799Would it be morally wrong to>Have TD open door shirtless and point blank nipple beam the guyThe abs are the distraction for the nipple beam to hit home
>>4138799>open door >"what are the odds of them having their constructive already set up."
>>4138804This but have TD grab the scissorblade too
>>4138799>check peephole again>get TD ready to sock a stalker
>>4138799>Panic and try pushing furniture in front of the door. Fail because you have a physique of a sloth.
>>4138799>>4138818Why can't we just get the gun to scare him away?
>>4138799Play some yaoi at full blast and attempt to ignore your problems
>>4138861>>4138804>>4138806>check peephole again>get TD ready to sock a stalkerYou get ready to have TD punch a stalker in the face, getting him to grab your trusty SCISSORBLADE and approaching the door. You cautiously look through the peephole to catch a glance of the guy. The apparent #4 isn't that impressive looking.>What do you do?
>>4139770Gonna re-up the earlier suggestion offered prior.>Have TD open door shirtless and point blank nipple beam the guy if he tries anything.
>>4139778>>4139785>>4139792>>4139794>Have TD open door shirtless and point blank nipple beam the guy if he tries anything.You get TD to open the door shirtless, his ABS on display and ready to shoot LASER NIPPLE BEAMS. The stalker in the tracksuit points a finger at you. "Number 1." He states in a STEELY voice, his arms crossed. "I've been waiting for a long time for this. I, the ISEKAI CONSTRU-"He doesn't have time to finish, as TD blasts the guy with TWIN NIPPLE BEAMS. The concussive blasts send him tumbling backwards over the rail of your two-story apartment building. You creep outside for just a moment to catch sight of a TRUCK smashing into the guy, sending him flying back. He's lying STILL on the ground. You have BEATEN the #4 CONSTRUCTOR. You should probably call an ambulance.>What do you do?
>>4139805>Call one of your friends to call an ambulance
>>4139805>Call an ambulance and also someone you know who's dependable... okay we don't know anyone who'd be good for this particular experience. Call Dad?
>>4139805>Call ambulance>Maybe also get a better look if you can bear it>chuckle to yourself about the irony of the situation
>>4139805Pay your respects to truck-kun and then call an ambulance. He'll probably be in a coma for a while, unless that "world" he gets transferred to is the world of medicine.
>>4139808>>4139811>>4139815>>4139825>Call one of your friends to call an ambulance>Maybe also get a better look if you can bear itYou consider it for a moment before calling Trigger, the MAGICAL GIRL CONSTRUCTOR, and asking him to call an ambulance. He complies pretty handily. Peeking over the railing, the guy's body seems to be breathing..? After about half an hour, the entire scene is cleaned up and the guy is gone. You hope he lived through that. Or if he didn't, wherever he got isekai'd is a cooler place than this.You are now standing alone in your room with TD again. You, uh.. you guess you win.>What do you do?
>>4139893Celebrate your victory by binge watching Banana Fish
>>4139893Make your noodle and eat your hot chip.Sit down with your son and watch anime.
>>4139893>What do you do?We wonder what we're going to do now that the villain of this episode has been defeated.Probably get bored quickly.
>>4139893>check ice cream stock>ask TD if he has any errands to run today
>>4139902>>4139898>>4139896>Make your noodle and eat your hot chip.>Sit down with your son and watch anime.Well, another thread expertly completed.You move to grab some NOODLES from your box and binge anime - but as you remove your head from the STICKY DEPTHS of your fridge, you notice a SHADOW blocking the minimal sunlight streaming in from your screen door and balcony.A young woman stands at your balcony, leaning a hand against the screen doorframe. She carries a BIG BASTARD SWORD - it hangs loosely from her hip as she slings it around with ease. Behind her, the blue sky has turned a palid PARCHMENT YELLOW."Nice going there, BL." She scoffs, drumming her fingers against the tip of her sword. "Did you do the same thing with Blitzrapier? Catastrovania? So much for the #1 CONSTRUCTOR.">What do you do?
>>4139938>"Lady, I don't know who you are and what you're doing here, but if you don't get away from my balcony this instant I will get REALLY anxious and teary-eyed."
>>4139938>Close the curtains- oh wait we dont have any... Politely request she gets off tge balcony & come back tommorow AT THE FRONT DOOR.
>>4139938>"to be honest that just kind of happened, most people just drag me into their constructive. maybe if he didn't monologue things would be better?"
>>4139951>>4139964>"Lady, I don't know who you are and what you're doing here, but if you don't get away from my balcony this instant I will get REALLY anxious and teary-eyed.">Close the curtains- oh wait we dont have any... Politely request she gets off tge balcony & come back tommorow AT THE FRONT DOOR."L-lady, I don't know who you are and what you're doing here, but if you don't get away from my balcony this instant I-I will get REALLY anxious and teary-eyed." You threaten, approaching the screen door. “C-can you maybe come off the balcony, a-and come back tomorrow? Please..?”“Mmm. You’re fatter than I thought you’d be. Geez.” She ignores you, tapping on her chin. “And that’s your CONSTRUCT? What is that? Yaoi? How the hell did you even get past Samurai Summers? Nek.o’s Buster forme should’ve folded you..”“Uh, h-hello?” You frown.“Whatever! Doesn’t matter.” She raises the MASSIVE SWORD, tapping it against the glass with a smug sneer. “You’ve done this long enough and I’ve done this long enough to know what happens next. Come outside. You look like you could use the air.”>What do you do?
>>4139980Say nothing and shut the door in her face. If she continues to knock tell her to go away.
>>4139984Wait. She's at the window...put one of your dirty blankets over the window instead.
>>4139980>If she's going to ignore you then the feeling is mutual. Put one of the dirty blankets over the balcony doors.
>>4139997yeah, this. She's being mean.
>>4139980>ask disquid friends if they know who she is
>>4139989>>4139997>>4140002>>4140011>Wait. She's at the window...put one of your dirty blankets over the window instead.>If she's going to ignore you then the feeling is mutual. Put one of the dirty blankets over the balcony doors.You decide to IGNORE her too. She's just being mean now. Moving over to your inexplicably convenient DIRTY BLANKET DRAWER, you remove a hefty one from the cabinet and begin to pin it up in front of the screendoor with TD's help. The girl doesn't try stopping you - instead, she watches in amusement.As you finish it up and stand back to admire your handiwork, you watch as the girl’s silhouette removes the sword from her hip and hefts it up with considerable ease. In one swift movement, she swings the BASTARD SWORD so fast that it takes you a moment to register what just happened. The blanket slowly splits in two and falls from its hanging. Then the screen door slowly splits in two and the glass shatters uselessly.The girl steps through what was once your SCREEN DOOR. Outside, you catch a glimpse of her CONSTRUCTIVE - it smells like GRASS and MILDEW. The girl waves at you.“You gonna keep stalling?” She tilts her head.>What do you do?
>>4140036>"Why is everyone in a rush to be #1? What's so special about it? Also how does everyone keep finding out where I live?"
>>4140036>"Are you all going to keep butting into my life in the most obtrusive way possible? All i want to do is enjoy some boys love without a parade of meanies trying to kill my son!"
>>4140036>Why is everyone in a rush to be #1? What's so special about it? Also how does everyone keep finding out where I live?"
>>4140054>>4140061>>4140153>"Why is everyone in a rush to be #1? What's so special about it? Also how does everyone keep finding out where I live?""Why is everyone in a rush to be #1? What's so special about it?” You ask. “Also how does everyone keep finding out where I live?"“Came this far. Might as well, right? Even if it doesn’t really mean anything. Everything else is way too boring!” She responds almost proudly, pumping her fist in the air with some excitement. “And I got a note from someone in the mail. Gave me a hint. Who knew that the #1 lived in the same apartment building as I did?!”>What do you do?
>>4140171>Recall your neighbors. Have you ever seen this person before.
>>4140179Try as you might to recall your neighbors, you genuinely can't put a face to a single one of them, considering you basically cut yourself off from society for 3 years.
>>4140171>"fine at least tell us your name and the name of your construct."
>>4140171"At least tell me your name first."
>>4140171>Name, Construct & occupation
>>4140215>>4140221>>4140229>"fine at least tell us your name and the name of your construct.""At least tell us your name and the n-name of your CONSTRUCT, right..?" You ask hesitantly, eyeing the sword at her hip."Fine." She rolls her eyes. "My name is KAE SAO. I like FANTASY. The sword's name is BLADEVANIA. Are you happy?">What do you do?
>>4140344>"So just like catastrovania or summers or just like that isekai guy right now"
>>4140344>"Are you friends with Cat?">"Also let me change into an outfit that has pants first."
>>4140344>You know Cat?
>>4140344>Change clothing (Pants+???)>"You know Cat?"
>>4140402>>4140376>>4140399>>4140357>"Are you friends with Cat?">"Also let me change into an outfit that has pants first.""A-are you.. friends with Cat?""Friends with her? Why would I be?" She snorts. "I cut her shitty little AIRSOFT guns and CHESS BOARD in half on that train of hers. She couldn't stop crying about how I cheated.""W-well - can I at least change into an outfit that has pants..?" You plead."That won't be necessary." Kae points BLADEVANIA at you. "Enter my CONSTRUCTIVE and it'll be taken care of.">What do you do?
>>4140452>Take your trusty scissor blade>If it's too damaged - take the plunger>enter the CONSTRUCTIVE
>>4140452>she's not at the front door>just leave
>>4140456>>4140469>>4140485>Take your trusty scissor blade>If it's too damaged - take the plunger>enter the CONSTRUCTIVEYou move to reach for the SCISSOR BLADE - or maybe even that HANDGUN that you don’t remember ever buying - but the girl clicks her tongue. “.. No. Don’t be a coward.” She scoffs.“O-okay- uh-.. One second.” You breathlessly run to the bathroom, adding your PLUNGER to your inventory. “I-is this okay..?”“.. Fine.” She groans. “Let’s go.” You edge toward your SCREENDOOR, maneuvering past broken glass to look out at the balcony. Sky surrounds you on all sides. The wind is howling. Peering over, you seem to be floating in the sky. And you feel a sharp shove on your back as you go tumbling off the balcony.“Bye bye!” The girl shouts from above as you come hurtling down.[...]You wake up in an UNFAMILIAR PLACE. It smells like grass and mildew. Your eyes slowly open. Grass frames your vision. Hesitantly standing up, you take stock of your surroundings and self. Nothing seems to be broken, but you’re wearing something far different than what you came in wearing. Some-.. weirdly skimpy witch outfit..? Looking around, you catch no sight of TWINK DADDY, but your plunger seems to have transformed. Rather than a rubber cup at its tip, it now holds a TWINK DADDY HAND. The fingers flex as you turn it over in your palms. Maybe he turned into this here? You don your apparent YAOI FUELED STAFF with confidence. It looks like you’re standing in a vast, grassy field. In the distance ahead of you, you catch sight of a village. A forest lies to the right. Slimes dot the prairie.>Approach the village.>Approach the forest.>Write-In.
>>4140497level up on the slimes
>>4140497>level up on slimes until you're 300 y/o
>>4140497>commune with YAOI FUELED STAFF
>>4140506>>4140500>>4140520>level up on slimes until you're 300 y/o>commune with YAOI FUELED STAFFYou approach one of the slimes. It warbles USELESSLY. You stare down at your HAND STAFF, turning it over a few times in your palms.>Refrain from hurting this INNOCENT SLIME ENTITY.>Go down the dark path and STRIKE DOWN this slime using DARK YAOI MAGIC.>Go to the village.>Go to the forest.>Write-In.
>>4140527>Refrain from hurting this INNOCENT SLIME ENTITY.>Pet slimefrend
>>4140527>Go to the village.
>>4140527>Go down the dark path and STRIKE DOWN this slime using DARK YAOI MAGIC.
>>4140527>>4140533Going with this.
>>4140527put the slime in your pocket
>>4140527>Refrain from hurting this INNOCENT SLIME ENTITY.Slimes are for getting cute shotas into lewd situations
>>4140527>Refrain from hurting this INNOCENT SLIME ENTITY.>Make soft noises to please it
>>4140533>>4140571>>4140600>>4140605>>4140670>>4140717>Refrain from hurting this INNOCENT SLIME ENTITY.>put the slime in your pocket>Pet slimefrendYou refrain from casting a DARK HEX on the slime. Although a monster, it is SOFT. You instead pet it hesitantly. It feels like petting a damp water balloon and is easily manipulated by your digits.Reaching for your side, you find a BOTTLE, presumably for WITCHY POTIONS, attached at your hip. You remove it and scoop up a chunk of the slime into it. It jiggles gelatinous inside the glass. You now have a SLIME FRIEND to accompany you on any future quests.>Go to the town.>Go to the forest.>Write-In.
>>4141002>>Go to the forest.
>>4141002feed slime worms and insects
>>4141002>Go to the forest.>test out our yaoi powers on the way there.
>>4141002>Go to the forest.
>>4141002>go to the forest
>>4141009>>4141029>>4141034>>4141035>>4141219>go to the forestYou approach the forest. A GRAND ARBOR stretches out on all sides around you as you enter. You follow the footworn path, keeping your hands tight around your YAOI WAND. You’re unsure of where you’re going, but presumably, you figure you have to defeat the BBEG of this CONSTRUCTIVE.As you continue down the path, you note a FIGURE in the forest lying against a tree. It appears to be a DARK ELF with her hair bound in a ponytail. She’s equipped with a spear and a black cat is curled up around her feet. Upon catching sight of you, she approaches.“Toll gate.” She calls out coldly, slinging her spear over her shoulder. “Hand over your cash and you can pass, witch.”>Reason with the elf.>Engage in combat.>Offer slime.>Write-In.
>>4141440>Y-yea sure, let me just call my dad... W-wait, I'm not giving you a-a-anything!
>>4141440>oh hey samurai your here too? do you know where kae is?>toll? but I don't have any money.>I have this though >offer slime
>>4141440>Create a distraction with Yaoi Magics and run past her when she isn't looking
>>4141448>>4141501>pet catYou pet the cat. It purrs."Hands off, human." The dark elf girl scowls, pushing you aside with rod of her spear.>Y-yea sure, let me just call my dad... W-wait, I'm not giving you a-a-anything!"Y-yea sure, let me just call my dad... W-wait, I'm not giving you a-a-anything!" You proclaim, taking a step back from the dark elf."Fine." The DARK ELF rolls her eyes before whipping her spear up, pointing it mere inches away from your throat. "I'm not asking anymore. Empty your pockets.">Offer slime.>Engage in combat.>Run past her.>Write-In.
>>4141538>>Engage in combat.summon our son
>>4141538>what is the name of kitty>souka....you let me no choice I will have to use the familiar secret technique>Run past her.
>>4141538>Engage in combat.YAOI SLAP
>>4141538>"look over there, its a hot blooded battle between two friends turned enemies!">Run past her.
>>4141567>>4141556>"look over there, its a hot blooded battle between two friends turned enemies!">Run past her.While normally, your marshmallow-like physique would be COMPLETELY INADEQUATE compared to the lithe form of the DARK ELF, you use some extensively complex magic to distract her."Look over there, i-it's a hot blooded battle between two friends turned enemies..!" You point to the darkness of the forest."L-like, Sasuke..?" The dark elf turns her head and you make a MAD DASH past her, narrowly avoiding getting speared in the throne.After running for a couple of minutes, you come crawling out of the forest, covered in FOREST MUCK and TWIGS. You seem to have narrowly avoided getting speared. You look ahead and catch sight of a LARGE DARK TOWER. You can presumptively guess who's in there, although you're not yet sure you can handle them. To the right of the tower, you see a small tent outpost.>Investigate tower.>Investigate outpost.
>>4141665>Investigate outpost.feed slime on the way there. he's a growing boy.
>>4141665when's the next Minecraft quest? I want to stick it to that smug half-elf noble cunt. she's not better than us.
>>4141686>1>>4141689>>4141723>>4141761>>4141774>Investigate outpost.You investigate the outpost. The tent is small, but adorned with fixtures of bones and dust. Red paint is slathered on the cloth that reads ABANDON ALL HOPE, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE. You hesitantly part the tent opening and come inside.Inside, you see a rather small, lithe figure hunched over a book. The witch clothes she wears appear far too large for her and her hat droops over her visible eye. She perks up upon seeing you come in, immediately slamming her book shut."A-ah! A fellow witch..! Are you here from the college?!" She asks eagerly. "To help take care of the LICH..?">Tell her you are.>Tell her you're not here to help.>Check out what she was reading.>Write-In.
>>4141793>Y-yea? I guess? What are you doing all alone here? A-and who is this lich?
>>4141793>Cat, why are you wearing such moronic hat?>Pet the cat
>>4141793>look at the book
>>4141800>>4141891>>4141803>>4141851>Cat, why are you wearing such moronic hat?>Pet the cat>Y-yea? I guess? What are you doing all alone here? A-and who is this lich?"Y-yea? I guess? What are you doing all alone here? A-and who is this lich?" You ask, kneeling on the grass in front of her. You slowly and hesitantly reach out to pat her head. “A-and what’s with the hat..?”“Hands off!” She hisses, batting at your hand. “A-and for your INFORMATION, I’m alone here because the ADVENTURER’S GUILD in town laughed me out when I asked to get a tag..! They thought I was PRETENDING to be a witch. They’re a bunch of STUPID LOUTS. And when I kill the lich, they’ll see-..”She hugs her book tight to her chest. “The lich in that tower has been TERRORIZING this town for ages. She’s a vile and dangerous monster that uses DARK MAGIC to raise the dead, and anyone that dares challenge her is cut down in one swing by her grossly big sword BLADEVANIA.” Cat mutters. “I was going to challenge her alone, but when I got close, she- she was kind of scary. So can you, um--.. can you help me?”>Allow Cat your help.>Deny her.>Grab that book from her to read.>Write-In.
>>4141902>Allow Cat your help.
>>4141902>Allow Cat your help.Meatshield acquired
>>4141902>Allow Cat your help.ask her if she knows other adventurers anywhere that we can recruit.
>>4141902>yeah, ask if she knows someone who's might join our party
>>4141902Can she remind us what kind of spells a witch can cast, and let us look at the book? Kind of forgot the basics for witch craft and a little pick me up would certainly improve our odds of success.inspect slime friend. how is it?
>>4141964>>4141947>>4141936>>4141929>>4141909>Allow Cat your help.>yeah, ask if she knows someone who's might join our party>Can she remind us what kind of spells a witch can cast, and let us look at the book? Kind of forgot the basics for witch craft and a little pick me up would certainly improve our odds of success.>inspect slime friend. how is it?“Y-yes! Very well. I will help you.” You graciously offer. “Gwah- of course! Yes. We’ll make an excellent team!” Cat exclaims, hugging you suddenly.[CATASTROVANIA HAS JOINED YOUR PARTY!]“D-do you know anyone who might join our party..? We probably can’t handle the lich alone..” You ask slowly, peeling her off you.“Hmm-.. well, although they’re some real JERKS, the adventurer’s guild should be able to help us. There’s a GUILD nearby the tower.” Cat thinks on it. “Maybe we’ll be able to get a knight there.”“Hmm-.. w-well, could you remind me of what kind of, uh-.. spells I could cast?” You reach for her book as she leaves it unattended. “I kind of forgot the basics, so a little pick me up would improve our odds of..”“WAIT-” Cat screeches, reaching for the book, but you’re already looking through it. It’s filled with silly little doodles of her going on adventurers with groups of friends that don’t seem to actually exist.[...]As Catastrovania begins to pick up her stuff, you inspect your Slimefriend. He seems happy in his little jar. You jiggle him around.>Head to guild.>Challenge tower with only Cat.>Write-In.
>>4142060>Head to guild.
>>4142060>Head to guild.Does Cat have any string? Let's fashion a strong necklace with the bottle. Our slime friend should get to see the outside world as we travel instead of being stuck in our pocket.Ask Cat what slimes eat.
>>4142060>Head to guild.We need to recruit Trigger so our party has one dependable person
>>4142060>Head to guild.Hopefully we can recruit two boys so we can watch some "brotherly bonding" times.
>>4142060>>Head to guild.
i don't know if this is appropriate but i scratched this while thinking of this quest and i wanted to share
>>4142060>Head to guild.>But first shout at the tower's window that we are gonna train for a while so she'll have to wait a bit before the final showdown.>Consider becoming SLIMEMANCER>>4142602That's dope
>>4142602BASED>>4142064>>4142070>>4142083>>4142096>>4142106>>4142752>Head to guild.>But first shout at the tower's window that we are gonna train for a while so she'll have to wait a bit before the final showdown.>Consider becoming SLIMEMANCER>Does Cat have any string? Let's fashion a strong necklace with the bottle. Our slime friend should get to see the outside world as we travel instead of being stuck in our pocket.>Ask Cat what slimes eat.You decide to head to the guild, but before leaving, you shout at the tower. “I’M GONNA TRAIN FOR A WHILE!” You scream, cupping your hands around your mouth. Catastrovania looks at you quizzically. “YOU’LL HAVE TO WAIT A LITTLE!”On the walk there, you grill the small witch about slimes. You’re able to fashion a carrying necklace for him with some string, allowing him to see the outside world from around your neck. You also learn that slimes eat MEAT, STICKS, and basically whatever you can put inside of them. You’re crossing your fingers that you can take this guy back into your apartment when you’re done.Upon arriving at the adventurer’s guild - a small outpost a short walk away in the midst of a large field - you enter to the sound and sight of adventurers in all manner of armor and leather milling about. Cat is barking random bits of her own PERSONAL LORE at you, so you take stock of the lonelier looking adventurers lurking around to approach and ask.>A rather short looking knight with a tuft of hair sticking from his visor.>Yet another witch in full black, her face mostly masked by her robe and hood with a small stature.>A very average looking BARD.>Write-In.
>>4143123>Meet all of them.
>>4143123>A rather short looking knight with a tuft of hair sticking from his visor.
>>4143123>Write in>A very gruff looking man of eastern origin with a rolled, smoking something hanging out his mouth
>>4143123>A rather short looking knight with a tuft of hair sticking from his visor.Get sticks off the ground and feed them to Blobimus. That's my name for him, or her. Consider buying a slightly bigger container should Blobimus get bigger. Also get baby books to read to it.
>>4143159>>4143161>>4143190>>4143217>A rather short looking knight with a tuft of hair sticking from his visor.You approach the knight. He shoots a glance at you from a frothy mug of UNKNOWN LIQUID. “.. What?” He scowls. The blade slung over his back is oddly sleek and smooth, easily outsizing him.“Really? .. This one?”” Cat loudly whispers to you. “Isn’t he a bit small?”“Watch your ing tongue, witch.” The knight shoots back, an ODD HEX jumbling an obvious curse as it leaves his mouth.>Ask him to join you on your quest.>Move onto someone else.>Write-In.
>>4143245>Ask him to join you on your quest.>Mention that the girl totally dissed his sword and called it tiny.>And mecha sucksUnrelated:>Goblin slayer helmet>Not dehorned
>>4143245he's compact, easy to carry, and as dangerous as he is adorable.ask sir knight if he has the moxie to join us on our awesome quest to defeating the lich. i do not doubt that there would be a line of wenches lines up for him should we succeed.
>>4143245>backtrack into the forest and try to convince the dsrk elf to help in exchange for all the loot
>>4143245>>4143309Support. This fujo must have him.
>>4143407if we know telekinesis, we could perform the tried and true "angry dwarf toss" tactic. For those who don't know what that is, it's when we bodily throw an individual and lesser stature at a target, typically a person that is melee inclined, such as a dwarf barbarian or a halfling fighter. the shots would fit this roll to a T, if only we are capable of meeting him.
>>4143453fucking auto correct
>>4143245>Ask him to join you on your quest.
>>4143300blitz's helmet always has horn
>>4143245Smother sir knight in your tits?
>>4143957The perfect strategy to acquire new party members. Support!
>>4143245An interesting note. BL seems less likely to stutter and act embarrassing in here than in normal meat space. Perhaps this is because shes in a fantasy setting which is close enough to screen she needs? You know, like how a kid will talk shit about you on the internet but knows better not to irl? Not a good comparison but it's all I could think of.
>>4143300>>4143309>>4143407>>4143462>Ask him to join you on your quest.>Mention that the girl totally dissed his sword and called it tiny.>And mecha sucks>ask sir knight if he has the moxie to join us on our awesome quest to defeating the lich. i do not doubt that there would be a line of wenches lines up for him should we succeed.“Will you join us on our quest to slay the lich in that tower, sir-.. knight?” You ask the SHORT KNIGHT, bending down to meet his eyeline. “The lich called your sword tiny.. A-and, if you join us, think of all the WENCHES you’ll attain!”“Wenches, huh? And she called it TINY?” The knight scratches his chin. “.. Very well. I’ll join your little party, but just to kill that lich.”[THE KNIGHT HAS JOINED YOUR PARTY!]>Challenge lich now. >Train on a slime.>Write-In.
>>4144610>Challenge lich now.
>>4144610>Write in>Recruit one last party member>A very gruff looking man of eastern origin with a rolled, smoking something hanging out his mouthGonna re-submit this suggestion, because what even is the point of being isekaied if you can't fill your party with handsome men.Trigger will probably be ROGUE or SAMURAI class, but a part of me really wants him to be Ninja because why not
>>4144624This because why not>>4144610>Write-In.grind for loot and expAlso another suggestion. I assume the tower to be made of stone, so let's look for a mason / architect expert, and an alchemist. I think you all know where I'm going with this.
>>4144624>>4144630>Write in>Recruit one last party member>A very gruff looking man of eastern origin with a rolled, smoking something hanging out his mouthYou nervously approach the GRUFF LOOKING MAN. He’s donned in loose black clothing that seems free flowing. He stares at you silently. He’s also smoking a CIGAR through his facemask, confusingly. Catastrovania positions herself behind you while Blitzrapier shuffles around and avoids eye contact. You feel INTIMIDATED.>Ask the man to join your party at the risk of him ATTACKING YOU out of annoyance. [HARD ROLL.]>Go to the lich tower.>Write-In.
>>4144801>Ask the man to join your party at the risk of him ATTACKING YOU out of annoyance. [HARD ROLL.]>Write-In.Offer to smother him in tits if that'll make this easier.
>>4144801>go back to the forest to hunt for EXP and to find the DARK ELF
>>4144801>Ask the man to join your party at the risk of him ATTACKING YOU out of annoyance. [HARD ROLL.]We must have this handsome eastern twink for PARTY BALANCE
>>4144801>recruit the average bard insteadRichard is a bro
>>4144824have you seen his abs? he's a twunk.
>>4144801Do we know any explosives related hexes? can we detect magic?
>>4144858Now we're talking
>>4144801>Ask the man to join your party at the risk of him ATTACKING YOU out of annoyance. [HARD ROLL.]>Invoke the power of the YAOI FUELED STAFF to better seduce this HANDSOME EASTERN TWUNK over to our side.
>>4144977>>4144813>>4144824>Ask the man to join your party at the risk of him ATTACKING YOU out of annoyance. [HARD ROLL.]Roll a 1d100, best of 3!
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4145270aw shit pls handsome eastern twunk be merciful
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4145270
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4145270
>>4144853Looks like we're doing something with Dick later
>>4145516Oh shit. Bards can heal right? We should get him too.
>>4145778maybe we should get a dedicated healslut(male)
>>4145284>Rolled 89 (1d100)>Ask the man to join your party at the risk of him ATTACKING YOU out of annoyance. [HARD ROLL.]"U-uh- would you- would you like to join our party to defeat the lich?" You ask in a low tone, shivering in your POORLY MADE WITCH OUTFIT.The NINJA stays quiet for a long time before sighing, stamping out his cigarette on the ground. You presume that's a yes.[THE NINJA HAS JOINED YOUR PARTY!]"Fufufu! My party is complete..!" Catastrovania claps her hands together. "All expertly gathered by the GREATEST WITCH of ALL TIME!">Challenge the lich.>Kick Cat out of your party in favor of the dark elf.>Write-In.
>>4146162>Challenge the lich.Let's mosey
>>4146162>"All expertly gathered by the GREATEST WITCH of ALL TIME!"D'aaawww. She thinks so highly of BL.>let's go murder monsters for money and fat loot
Still not sure what cat can do combat wise. Mock fight?>>4146162>offer to carry Blitz on our shouldersWe're multi-classing into barbarian bois. We need the gains.
>>4146215Carry Blitz on our shoulders to become one unit, BLBLITZ, then recruit another party member! Galaxy brain strats
>>4146162>Kick Cat out of your party in favor of the average bard
>>4146162>Challenge the lich.>Give Blitz a ride
>>4146244This reminds me of the gnome cavalier and half orc barbarian mount >green text
>>4146184>>4146215>>4146219>>4146244>>4146320>Challenge the lich.>offer to carry Blitz on our shouldersYou decide to head out to the DARK LICH TOWER to defeat the BBEG. The trip there isn’t particularly long and grueling, but nonetheless you carry the SMALL KNIGHT on your shoulders because he starts whining about how long it’s taking. As you approach the TOWER, you see the LICH sitting atop the tower, staring down at you. Her form is ephemeral and black and kind of hard to see.“Cute party.” The lich scoffs upon seeing you. “Is that a slime? Must be having fun down there.”>Taunt lich.>Enter tower and beat lich's ass.>Write-In.
>>4146387>"It is a slime!">Enter tower and beat lich's ass.
>>4146387>Enter the TowerWe will kick ass, and that will do all the talking for us.
>>4146387>Enter tower and beat lich's ass.We've come to watch yaoi on virus-ridden weeb websites and eat assAnd we're all out of internet service
>>4146387>"Not as much fun as I had with your dad last night! Gottem!"
>>4146421ThisAlso dabAsk the knight to dab as we dabThe legendary double dab
>>4146387Ok. You know what? Fuck em.Do we know fireball? Let's cast fireball at the base of the tower and have it tumble down.
>>4146387why does a lich have a sword is it not a mage class?
>>4146421>>4146415>>4146393>>4146392>>4146671>"Not as much fun as I had with your dad last night! Gottem!">This>Also dab>Ask the knight to dab as we dab>The legendary double dab>Enter tower and beat lich's ass."N-not as much fun as I had with your dad last night! Gottem!" You scream. You dab. "H-hey, knight. Do what I'm doing." You whisper to the short knight riding on your shoulders. He seems DISGUSTED and CONFUSED.You enter the tower after a moment of silence.Climbing up the ebony stairs, you come to the top where the LICH lies in wait, sweating and panting and feeling like you’re about to throw up because you’ve never gone up so many sets of stairs. The rest of your party seems fine.“Fufufu! LICH! We’ve come to end your REIGN OF TERROR!” The horrible witch next to you shouts proudly, striking a pose. The knight atop your shoulders climbs off you, donning his BIG SWORD, and the NINJA next to you folds his arms.>Send in Cat alone to engage in combat.>Attempt to figure out what you can cast.>Write-In.
>>4147766>Send in Cat alone to engage in combat.Cat I need to regain my breat - uh, charge up my magic? Only you are strong enough to hold her off alone!
>>4147766Okay this assumes that Trigger has ninja stars>Blitz get in range to use his sword, Trigger and Cat cover his back and provide ranged DPSIf Trigger is only bringing his looks to the battle then Cat cover BlitzWhile BL >Attempt to figure out what you can cast.
>>4147766>Attempt to figure out what you can cast.
>>4147766Take the lich to gang cityAlso mastubate furiously in front of the Lich like a disgusting degenerate. We doing psychological tactics now.
>>4148177>>4148097>>4147847>Attempt to figure out what you can cast.While your party AWKWARDLY SHUFFLES ABOUT, the smaller and weaker witch in front of you begins to sweat. "U-uh-.. WITCH..?" She is SWEATING NOTICEABLY. "Are you-.. are you going to cast something? Between you and me, I'm uh- I'm not too great at casting spells.."The HAND at the end of your staff flexes. You feel like you can probably cast some sort of LASER POINTER at the lich, or maybe even just fire the hand off.>Fire hand at lich to GROPE.>Shoot laser from a distance.>Send Catastrovania in to fight alone.>Write-In.
>>4148218>Shoot laser from a distance.
>>4148218>Shoot laser from a distance.Groping would likely only be effective on boys anyway.
>>4148223>>4148271>>4148289>Shoot laser from a distance.>Roll a 1d100 to determine it's EFFECTIVENESS. Best of 3.
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4148319
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4148319
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4148319
>>4148319Let's throw this at him after the lasers
>>4148319>Shout at the lich that it's dumb that she uses a sword, everyone knows liches are spellcasters
>>4148504Each spell needs a corresponding hand sign. Also, I just read through the quest from the beginning. Hi.I'm disappointed with the lack of tan lines + abs so far, since that shit was fantastic when it showed up. Bullying Blitz is hilarious though.
gonna try to finish this chapter up tomorrow because I played a bit too much animal crossing today, oopsread chief91m10 and pk's quests btw
>>4150134What should Trigger be? A flamingo?
>>4151073An eagle I'd think
>>4148322>Shoot laser from a distance.>Rolled 44 (1d100)You attempt to shoot a laser from your WAND. It actually fires, but is COMPLETELY off target and goes veering somewhere into the sky. Hopefully that doesn't hit a bird or anything.The LICH, meanwhile, with a single movement of her hand flings CATASTROVANIA off the tower. The falling witch screeches like a CAT as she goes flying off. The LICH barrels toward you at alarming speeds.>Place knight in front of you to avoid getting hit.>Attempt a DODGE. >Attempt a YAOI GROPE.>Write-In.
>>4151837>Attempt a YAOI GROPE to catch CAT
>>4151857thismollest- I mean save the cat... and maybe use as a meat shield
>>4151857>>4151860>>4151925>Attempt a YAOI GROPE to catch CATYou attempt a YAOI GROPE to catch the CAT. The hand flies off the end of the staff and off the side of the tower, allowing you to peer over and catch sight of the hand snatching at the girl. She hangs limply and loosely. The LICH, however, does not stop her BARREL CHARGE and nearly impales you on her sword. You barely manage to avoid it, but catch an unfortunate slash in your side. Although this is a FANTASY CONSTRUCT, it hurts for real.>Punch lich.>Throw CAT at LICH.>Write-In.
>>4151956Retrieve cat and molest Lich.>Write-In.Group attack!
>>4151956>Tell Blitz and Trigger to engage already
>>4151956>Throw CAT at LICH.God damnit Trigger I recruited you because you were supposed to be the one competent member!Blitz you're doing a shit job as meatshield too.
>>4151999>>4152001>Tell Blitz and Trigger to engage already>Group attack!>Roll a 1d100. Group attacks are HARD to pull off, so you'll have to do well.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4152083BEHOLDwhat doing well looks like
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4152083>>4152092nice
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4152083
>>4152134Rolled 97 (1d100)>Tell Blitz and Trigger to engage already>Group attack!“B-blitz, Trigger, could you..?” Your ASTOUNDINGLY INSPIRATIONAL four words are enough to incite something. Blitz and Trigger - and Cat - charge the lich. You consider going in to help, but the brawl looks violent enough. Cat doesn’t cast a spell, she just throws her wand at the lich as hard as she can. It clatters uselessly against the ground. The lich QUAVERS under their attacks, curling up into a tiny ball as TRIGGER raises his KATANA to deal the killing blow.The lich EXPLODES into a mass of explosive DARK MAGIC energy, sending the three flying off of the TOWER. The lich rises slowly, IMPALED by several CONSTRUCTIVE swords. “Y-you-.. You’re not supposed to use them.” She snivels, furiously reaching out with SMALL HANDS. She sounds like she’s on the verge of crying out of frustration. “Cheater.”>Attempt to deal killing blow.>Taunt her.>Write-In.
>>4152458attempt to save your friends!
>>4152458Hit her with the finishing blow.>NO UAlso save friend with the power of these hands
>>4152458Tell her to get good while saving your friends
>>4152458>Write-In.Use your magic Yaoi hands to save your friends. Become the mistress of lifesaving gropes that you know you are.
>>4152458>Taunt herA-a party isn't supposed to be in a fantasy g-game? Your a crybaby!
>>4152593>>4152458SupportThese yaoi hands have got you friendos
>>4152458>Taunt her>"Cry about it lesbo"
>>4153998>>4153928>>4153874>>4153111>>4152593>>4152591>>4152533>>4152499>>4152465>SAVE FRIENDS!!!>Use your magic Yaoi hands to save your friends. Become the mistress of lifesaving gropes that you know you are.You send the YAOI HAND flying off your staff. It soars down and with ONE LARGE GRAB plucks them from the sky - slowly lifting the heavy mass of FRIENDS back up onto the tower."Wahaha! All a part of the plan!" Catastrovania proudly proclaims, sweating."I bet." Blitz grumbles under his breath, wiping sweat from under his helmet. "Where's my wenches?"Trigger stays COOLY QUIET.The LICH atop the tower begins to FADE AWAY like smoke. As she does, she PUNCHES the ground in frustration. "Lucky rolls and CHEATING." She hisses. "Good luck with the REAL number one. You'll need it.""Get good." You respond.The LICH OMINOUSLY fades away and your vision turns to BLACK.
You wake up back in your MUSTY ASS apartment. Shattered glass still litters the ground after the girl broke it. TWINK DADDY has returned to his true form. The SLIME, freed from the CONSTRUCTIVE, gurgles happily in your room.>What do you do?
>>4154307Call the police about an angsty teen that broke into our home, broke our good blanket and assaulted us.Failing that, ask Twink Daddy if he could. It's one thing to force BL into a pocket dimension. It's another to B & E. Who knows what her landlord will say about this.
>>4154307Wait hold that thought WE GOT TO KEEP SLIME??? Yus! Let's celebrate with a group hug!Ask TD what it was like as a staff and celebrate by binge watching Yoai media. [spoiler/]seriously what are we going to do about the window damage? BL and DT could catch a cold if they dont do something about it.
>>4154307Oh shit we get to keep the slime? FAWK YEAH we have a friend that can eat all our leftovers!Also uuuuhhh maybe call our dad that we're gonna have to file a renter's insurance claim or something cause that window ain't fixing itself. Shit. Also also steer everyone away from that glass til we can sweep it up. That shit hurts, yo.
>>4154307I dunno if its still suppossed to be hot outside or not, but that draft is nothing to laugh about. We better put on something more substantial than knee highs and pantsu otherwise we could catch the DEADLY Shin-Detroitian cold!
>>4154374What if Slime can eat glass?
>>4154307In the spirit of >>4154332 & >>4154374>group hug!>set up slime's bed to be the trash bin. check to see if they prefer it with or without a bag liner too.>question what she meant by 'the REAL #1'
>>4154307>Name your slime Blorrrbo
>>4154622Why not Blobimus?>>4154617Was sword girl the original #1?
>>4154654>>4154617Blitz orig 10SS orig 9Dick orig 8Mado orig 7Cat orig 6Trigger orig 5Fan orig 4So she must have been orig 3, right? Definitely not the original #1, that's why she told us good luck with whoever it was.
>>4154622>>4154654Im thinking his name should be Blebst Friend
>>4154654>>4154668Because Blorrrbo is fun to say
>>4154665Don't forget about the isekai constructor the guy we met at the start So the next is the original #1
>>4154963He wasn't just a joke?
>>4154970Isekai has been a joke for almost a decade now.
>>4154970there's no joke
>>4154970Yes, he was in the top 10 but also a joke
>>4154963You mean the beginning of this thread that got ran over by a truck? He was number 2?
>>4154374>>4154332>>4154617>group hug!>question what she meant by 'the REAL #1'You engage in a HEARTY GROUP HUG. The embrace is SLIMY and WARM, yet SATISFYING. It's a welcome reprieve after how RUDE that girl was.You decide to call BLITZ and ask about the number one. After several calls, he fails to pick up. You try again with CATASTROVANIA and you find a similar case. Again with SAMURAI and MADOTSUKI and TRIGGER. You wonder why NO ONE seems to be available.[end of thread 8 wahoo. last thread soon?]
>>4155201Second Construct when
>>4155201call fan service, last resortalso how can we end on a thread that isn't thread 10?
>>4155201Thanks for running!>>4155249Also this!
>>4155201Thanks for running.