You are a 4chan anon isekai'd into another world apparently filled with random weirdness, crazy fairies, and the occasional crossdressing skeleton.What will you make of it?
>Previously On What The Fuck Quest:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/4077618/>Update schedule:At least one large update a day.Monday through Friday I try to post by 530 UTC(but often post it hours later when I wake up)I post additional updates when I can, often on the weekend.I will answer any questions I can as soon as I can.
>The Quest Rules: Calvinball Edition>Rule 0: The rules will probably change. You might be informed of the changes.>Rule 1: This will be a highly narrative quest and therefore stats, abilities, modifiers, and dice rolls will be extremely important. Unfortunately, we don't know what all of them are yet.>Rule 2: Currently suspended in Jello of undisclosed flavorIn order to break the ice, after the first vote of the thread, only "write-in" votes will accepted by voters with 1 post. This will make complete scents, trust me.>Rule 3: There are at least four rules and I will not stop this nonsense until we have achieved our goal. We should probably look further into having some sort of goal.>Rule 4: Many challenges will be settled by opposed rolls where I roll a set of d100 and the players must roll higher on a matching set to succeed and I must somehow justify the results. Modifiers and variations can occur and likely be made up on the spot.>Rule 5: How the loli/brown loli meter works: As you acquire "Loli Biscuits", you slide the meter in either direction. When the gauge is all the way to the left or right, Gary becomes said Loli. No method of acquiring Loli Biscuits has appeared in the quest.>Rule 6: All tied votes will be recalculated with the votes that include reasoning being given additional weight (perhaps 20%, so that five reasoned votes would outweigh 6 unreasoned.)>Rule 7: This quest is from the fixed perspective of Gary. If he is incapacitated for any length of time, there will a Time Skip forward until such time that he may interact.Any questions? Excellent. Let's go!
After nearly two weeks of travel, adventure, injury, magic, danger, and mystery, you've just agreed to trade a chunk of your biological material to your mysterious and morally ambivalent benefactor.You're doing this in exchange for a lot of answers to questions about how you got here and what's happened since, a nifty new trench knife, and the ability to walk away.Considering the one you're making the deal with is a magic crystal equivalent of Charles Xavier with Cerebro who also is currently controlling your only friend in the world, the deal seemed fair."Excellent." Ileska's voice says. "We'll get started immediately." Your friend's body steps towards you and you feel a sudden wave of apprehension."Wait, can I just-"Everything is blackness.What the fuck?--->
>>4128304You find yourself lying on a cold stone floor.You feel something soft and comfortable under your head and shoulders. You face feels wet and your lips taste salty. You feel very weak."Gary?" Ileska says, her tone revealing a touch of concern. "Are you okay? What is the last thing you remember?""Uh... Agreeing to the deal?""Good." She nods down at you. The 'sample taking' was brutally efficient. It was pretty horrible. But she did set and cast our broken bones very well. And I think they should mend all right. Can you stand?"Straining, you are able to get up on your feet all right. You notice that Ileska's right upper and lower arm seem to be wrapped in a sort of crystalline splint that kinda resembles armor.You have a similar looking wrist brace on your left wrist, immobilizing it. It seems to be without pain.You feel for the crystal toe and find it's no longer around your neck. A quick glance confirms that the statue now has ten toes.You also notice a steel sheathed trench knife on your belt where your other knife was. It is perfectly placed for you to be able to draw it, as if you attached it yourself."We should go" Ileska says, handing you a cloth to wipe your face. "It's probably getting late.""Shouldn't we, I don't know, say goodbye or something?"Ileska shakes her head."No. She hasn't said anything or interacted with us since my medicine wore off. I think that was the only reason she could control me so easily."Besides, I think she's done with us. At least for the next five winters or so.""Heh." You softly chuckle as the two of you follow the tunnel out of the cave. "Yeah. I don't know how much I'm looking forward to returning, but we got some solid information out of the deal."Once you exit the cave, you see that it is, indeed, much later and the sun is approaching the horizon.You also notice the giant orc standing in the middle of the statue garden outside. He is massive, at least a foot taller than you, and is holding a large brass crossbow that looks like it's been reinforced to double as a bludgeoning weapon.There is dried gore flaking off the crossbow and the front of the orc's fur tunic. The right side of the orc's face has been smashed repeatedly. Portions of the skull are visible and cracked. The orc's eyes seem dull and lifeless even as they widen when you emerge from cave.Hi, Target!" Sven's familiar voice greets you as the orc waves.--->
>>4128306"Hi Sven." You and Ileska tiredly wave back."Objective Three complete. If it is okay, I would prefer to help Target proceed to village before Returning to Master Rah. I am enjoying this body much better. Do you think that would be okay?""Uh sure Sven, I mean he didn't specify to return immediately, did he?" you point out."He did not..." Sven says, somewhat thoughtfully. You find it easier to read Sven face now that he has one, or most of one.The three of you manage to find your way back to the village without incident. Sven explained how he had been able to take out the rest of the orcs by jumping into their dead and surprising them. The one Ileska had put to sleep got away, but otherwise they were all dead.Sven elected to stay outside the village on guard rather than explain his new form. "I would like to travel with you if you decide to head north tomorrow.""Goodnight, Sven" you say.As you and Ileska cross the bridge into the village, you see Anna and Alice drinking tea together. Ileska moves to join them but you simply wave."I'm going to go check on the horses and go to sleep. I'm exhausted."Anna and Alice giggle over their tea but you don't ask or care why.As you walk away you hear Anna excitedly praising Ileska for her cool new armor.Checking on the horses, you see they've been fed, but also, your horsebro has pink, blue, and green ribbons braided through his mane. He shakes his head and nickers as if to say, "Whatever. You know I make this look good."You find the old shaman's hut you and Ileska are staying in, undress and fall asleep, blissfully free of dreams.The next morning you wake up to find that Ileska has, once again, woken before you and packed up her gear.As you get dressed, finding that Ileska mended your clothes in the night as well, you think about what your plans are now.>Head north to the trading port of Arbor to see about a gunsmith or enchanter for enchanted guns.>Head North to Ironshod to relax at Ileska's for a few days.>Head south to the large city of Rockcastle in search of a gunsmith or enchanter for enchanted guns.>Head south to Rockcastle and try to encourage Sven to join you.>Write-In
>>4128312>Head north to the trading port of Arbor to see about a gunsmith or enchanter for enchanted guns.We got healed a little and we got Sven with us, let’s go. Also that thread came faster than I expected, godspeed ST
>>4128323Thanks anon. I wanted to start it before the last one archived, but once it hits page 11, there's not much point because you can't link.I will be closing this vote in the morning.
>>4128312Spend a few days resting in the village and practicing magic while our wrist heals. We are clearly not prepared enough for combat, and it would be much more comfortable if we could hold something like that blind spell for at least a minute.Ask Illeska if there is a way to tel how much of your mana a given spell would use before you try to use it.Other spells to try:“How much of my mana would it cost to use the spell ____?”“Virtual mana pool”SnipeScanGoogleSkypeTeamspeakStatusPartyHUD or Heads up displayCalculator/CalculateMagnetizePrestidigitationMinor illusionMage hand“Get me a beer”Ask Sven if we can use his ork body to test “Nutshot” while throwing somethingSilence Auschwitz
>>4128466More shit to test:Parallel processingBullet timeUmbrella“Make a loud noise 4 minutes from now” and see when it draws manaSuccYou’re momFire BoltTaser “No u”NapalmKKKSome simple words from another language Gary knows
>>4128466>AuschwitzJust say gas dude
>>4128279Awww yeah! We're back in it!
>>4128466>>4128482....oh fuck you for making me want to write up a magic training vignette before I go to bed!I was supposed to be asleep an hour ago!...dagnabit!
>>4128466>>4128482>"Its not all wand work!"After giving it some thought, you decide that it's worth it to spend a few days resting in the village and practicing magic while your wrist and Ileska's arm heals. You've been lucky, and apparently previously aided by your personal psychic friends hotline, but you are clearly not prepared enough for combat.You would feel much more comfortable if you could hold something like that blind spell for at least a minute.Unfortunately, Ileska explains that spells don't vary by caster or experience. The caster either casts the spell or they don't. What varies is the power made available to the caster.Like that Radar spell. The standard version is horrifically expensive, but usually cast with an abundant power source.Generally, casters anticipate the cost before casting, so if they might need to blind a few orcs for a minute, they would bring that much power.You ask Illeska if there is a way to tell how much of your magical energy a given spell would use before you try to use it.She blinks at you. She opens her mouth to speak... Then closes it."Please excuse me for a moment, Gary." She says with a tight smile.She walks away and paces among the trees outside the village for several minutes before returning.When she returns, she says in a calm, clear voice: "Gary? Imagine that you love horses. Imagine that you love them so much! That you spend all your days with them. You even drive carriages with them. Then one day, the most amazing, brilliant, and wonderful carriage driver that you've ever met. Justice! That you've ever even heard of ask you to teach them."Then they ask if there's any way to tell if a fallen tree will hold the weight of a carriage in the seconds before they ride it across."She stares at you pointedly for a few moments."NO, GARY!" She shouts! "Because casting untested, untrained, and unmastered spells like "Blind" in the heat of battle is utterly insane! Nobody would do it! It-it-it was madness! The fact that it worked doesn't mean there's a... a protocol for it!"Ileska breathes. Slowly calming herself before speaking. "Listen, Gary, the last thing I want to do is discourage you. You are an amazing spellcrafter. But you need to take it slower!"You do remember that your wand is still uncharged, right? You've been too drained to charge it at night. Most wizards do, I'm told. I do. You should charge your wand before we go."...You know, I was saving it as a potential spell ingredient, but we have some leftover fairy dust from Cinnamon. I know an incantation that we could use to imbue it as a charge to your wand...""So I could practice over the next few days?""Exactly.""Let's do it."--->
>>4128762Over the next few days you practice a few experimental spells:>“Virtual mana pool”Fizzles. No effect.>SnipeIleska says it is a cheaper version of an aim-improvement spell.>Scan>GoogleBoth are average divination spells that require a target to look for. >TeamspeakThis spell shows promise. It allows you to communicate short spoken messages across fair distances, without too much energy or line of sight required. Maintaining it would be costly, but short bursts might be effective. An odd drawback is that it requires you to be familiar with the target. Only Ileska, Sven, Anna, and Alice could receive your "signal".>Status>Party>HUD or Heads up display>Calculator/CalculateAll fizzle.>MagnetizeThis actually works exactly as normal, but only affects metals that magnetize, like iron.>Prestidigitation>Mage handFizzles>“Get me a beer”This ends up translating as "Come Beer", which is apparently a quite popular pub trick.>Ask Sven if we can use his ork body to test “Nutshot” while throwing somethingSven is happy to help and is delighted when many of the thrown objects change trajectory, with minimal energy, directly for his rotting genitals. You stop when the last direct hit creates a "sploosh" sound.>Minor illusionFizzles, but Ileska explains that illusion is a complex field of magic that requires nuance and detail, although she is unfamiliar with it.>SilenceCommon spell removes all sound based on area and duration.>Auschwitz>Parallel processing>KKKFizzles>Bullet timeFizzles and Ileska didn't understand it. But it took three times longer to fizzle than any other spell. It wasn't power, there was something else missing.>UmbrellaCreated a very weak wall of force directly above you. Low cost, simple spell.>“Make a loud noise 4 minutes from now” and see when it draws manaIt held the magic power for 4 minutes, then drew it. You tried it again, cancelling it after two minutes, and it didn't drain any.>Succ>You’re mom“No u” IFizzles and Ileska giggles>Fire BoltCommon fire attack spell. Cheap to cast but weak until you push more power into it.>TaserUncommon electricity attack spell. Cheap to cast but weak until you push more power into it.>NapalmExpensive but effect defoliant. You cleared a field near the village bridge quite effectively>Some simple words from another language Gary knowsThey all simply translate. The curse of being a Babel Fish.--->
>>4128764You train like this for several days. But the highlight is on the second day. You allow a reasonable amount of power and say "Skype" while focusing on Ileska. A grainy flicker of Ileska's face appears and she says "G_ry..._h_t?" and the spell ran out of power. That one is expensive too, it seems.You are chalking it up to a failure when Ileska rushes up to you, takes your wand, and examines it. Then she looks at your hands like you're hiding cards."Gary? What did you use to cast that spell, Gary?" Her face looks concerned. "I know that you are eager, but if you used that strange dagger or some crystal fragment, it could be dangerous!" "Ileska, don't worry. I just used my wand."The look on her face is familiar, but takes a moment to place. She looks at you exactly like your mom did when, with your face covered in frosting, you claimed you hadn't seen the missing cake."Gary, that's not true. This wand still has a charge.""Well, yeah. I cut the spell, obviously.""Fine" Ileska scoffs, handing back your wand. "Show me. Cast it again.""Skype".The same grainy, poor quality image pops up and is quickly dismissed."See?"Ileska sat on the ground right where she stood."Ikeska?""Gary... That spell, or the one used like it... It can't be cast without a relic or artifact. A crystal ball, a conduit like Winnie, or maybe a piece of a god would work. Its just, not a wand spell...""Well, it's expensive...""It's impossible, Gary!"That spell utilizes concept compression in such a way... I believe that there are spellcrafters that would retire on creating a spell like that Gary....">Roll a cumulative d100 for your remaining fairy dust wand charge!(Just to be clear, the previous vote is still open)
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4128768Ok then, let’s try >Exhaust>Frost>HealAnd then >>4128312>Head north to the trading port of Arbor to see about a gunsmith or enchanter for enchanted guns.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4128768 Try>Gravity> Anesthesia >Rope tie> invisibility >Levitate>Heal> Purify>>4128785+1
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4128768Maybe...>Time Stop>Lightbulb>Rangefinder>Frequency (dogwhistle)>Voice modulator>Speed Burst>Rage Drive>Ping Area>>4128785Suppin'
>>4128785Do see about the enchanted guns since that was my idea in the first thread, but also do >>4129075, since time spells could come in clutch.
The Last Defenser isn’t the hero we need, but the one we deserve.
>>4129347Daily reminder that TLD and his ilk are pic related.
>>4129425 ^ Oh nice to know, "Hey faggot"
Closing voting and beginning generation and writing.I'll write up those magical experiments but if you guys think of more, feel free to post them and I'll collect them and write them up when Gary has a chance to experiment again.
>>4129637Someone else suggested time stop. I'd like to veto that because it will probably kill us.Let's try "Precognition" instead.
>>4129428Well uh...what you said made no sense.
>>4130147Willing to back precognition, AFTER QM gives a quick bit on the potential of it. QM, can we "evolve" Gary's precog spells over time to work differently/work better?
>>4129637Hmm...>Heartbeat Sensor >IR VisionOr maybe try >Railgun
> Synthesis Like a synergist> Transmute> Language comprehension >Lightning
ShortTrip where are you my senpai ?
>>4131269My bad. I had a horrible sinus headache yesterday and completely forgot that I had to do a narcotic pickup and delivery this morning. It ended up taking up half of my day. You gents deserve better. I'm sorry.
>>4128785>>4129042>>4129075>>4128323>>4128466>>4128482>ExhaustThis spell seems to drain energy out of other beings and objects, but at roughly the half the rate you expend enegy on the spell.>FrostA fairly low cost spell that creates a thin layer of frost. Delightful on beverages.>HealBasic healing spell that accelerates the body's natural healing process.>GravityFizzles in a way that feels like it needs more components...>AnesthesiaIleska says this spell is similar to a healing spell she never uses that removes pain, only your version is four times more costly.>Rope tieWhen cast on a rope, the rope jiggled and then fizzled.>invisibilityThis one was tough. It was like you had to push more power into it to reduce the target's opacity. At over twenty times the cost of "Blind", however, you were able to turn a log completely invisible for about six seconds.>LevitateThis was expensive scaled with mass. You are able to levitate a leaf almost effortlessly, which is kind of fun. Controlling where it goes takes extreme concentration and feels like flying a model helicopter with a busted rear rotor.> PurifyThe spell is moderately expensive, and doesn't fizzle, but aside from making water taste amazing, you can't detect an effect.>Time StopIleska cautions you on the wording and you try "Time Slow" instead. Like with "Bullet Time", there is a delayed fizzle. You know you're missing something.>LightbulbThis creates a glowing orb of light nearby. Ileska says she prefers "Magefire" and gives you a confused look when you say that sounds like sour grapes.>Frequency (dogwhistle)After playing around with a few options, "Dogwhistle" doesn't fizzle and seems to annoy the horses. You count that as a success.>Voice modulator>Speed Burst>Rage Drive>Ping Area>RangefinderFizzles>PrecognitionThis spell doesn't fizzle, it doesn't even activate. Once you tell Ileska what it means, she explains that some spells, like divination or illusion, require details, parameters. You can't just say "Give me precognition!" It has to be specific.Remember the wizard calling for "the book I am currently thinking about". If you can't target the book, just summoning "a book" wouldn't necessarily get the right book. Saying the name of the book doesn't necessarily mean the closest copy of that book. Specifics matter.If you want precognition, you need to specify "of what", "of when", how much detail, and how accurate.Ileska says that when she casts her divination, which isn't wizardry, it could be only be described with several full sentences and therefore doesn't convert into magery well.--->
>>4131347Wrapping up practice, you're feeling well rested, your side hardly hurts any more, and your wrist only hurts if you bang it, which you avoid doing after the first time.Ileska claims that her arm "is fine" and has full use of both her hands, although you notice that, even with the casts on, she is careful to move her right arm as little as possible. She insists that she is good to ride.The problem is Sven. After several days, his body is rotten to the point of being useless. He could strip and clean the bones, but then you'd have a large orc skeleton to explain to passing travelers. Eventually, Sven chooses to bury the orc, and inhabits the clean and bleached skeleton of a rat instead. In this way, he can travel with you, riding with you on your horse, and perhaps find another body later.The three of you ride out north along the road as Anna, Alice, and a number of the villagers waving goodbye."The ride north towards Arbor will take about three days Ileska says, "But the road is a well trafficked one and we shouldn't have too many problems."Sure enough, that afternoon, you are well clear and north of the forested area around Ironshod and you still haven't had any issues at all. Most of the other people you encounter on the road are simple farmers and merchants headed their way into or out of Ironshod."We should reach the Great River by nightfall. We could simply camp, but I would really like to take you to the inn on the elven bridge." Ileska says enthusiastically."Did you say that there's an inn on the bridge?" You ask."Yes. The elves let travelers stay there and sometimes trade with them.""And it is on the bridge? And it's run by elves?""Yes.The elven community lives in the bridge.""They live under the bridge, like trolls?""No Gary. They live inside the bridge. You'll see. Their fish is amazingly delicious!""Elves, huh? Are we talking Tolkien, Keebler, or Santa?""...none of that means anything to me Gary."Your conversation is cut short by a woman's scream. Further down the road you see three teenagers in brown cloaks attacking an old woman. They shove her down, taking her walking staff and backpack, and then turn to run towards a nearby cluster of trees.One of the three, a cute blonde girl, turns back to look at you and Ileska, winks, and shakes loose her long matted brown hair before snorting out her long red nose and bellowing as joins the other two naked and furry troglodytes scrabbling into the woods.You turn to Ileska to ask her if she saw the same thing as you, but neither Ileska, her horse, or the old woman are anywhere to be seen.What the fuck?>Pursue the teenagers/troglodytes into the woods before they get away!>Search for the old woman, she may be hurt!>Search for Ileska. If she's been turned into a tree again...>Run Away! It's time begin your life as a coward!>Write-In
>>4131349>Search for the old woman, she may be hurt!Please be another vision
>>4131349>Pursue the teenagers/troglodytes into the woods before they get away!Adventure!
>>4131349“Weaken illusion”I am worried “break illusion” would take too much power.
>>4132060>>4131554>>4131528>>4131370>High Adventure Beyond Compare!>Gary's MP: >Wand Charge: You look around for a moment and decide to try a quick spell "Weaken Illusion". You feel it working as the energy expend. -2Looking around, you see a faint, translucent reddish blur to your right, where Ileska should be, a blurry outline of the old woman standing up, and transparent brown cloaked teenagers running where the troglodytes are.Dropping the spell, you kick horsebro to follow the teens.You are chasing after their troglodyte forms as they race towards a wooded area when they suddenly gain great speed and veer off to the left across a field. You turn to follow them."No Target! It is trick!" Sven crawls out and perches on the pommel of your saddle."Your prey still head towards the trees!"Trusting the spirit, you turn back and race into the woods.Suddenly, you hear a loud clap a distance behind you and you see three teenagers materialize not too far away.Looking at themselves, they swear and start to scramble.The cute blonde, holding the walking staff, shoves a brown haired, average looking teen towards you."Take care of him, Pete!" She commands before turning and running towards a stream a distance away.The brownhaired teen, Pete apparently, turns to face you, punches his hands together and yellow light glows from his wrists.You can feel the magical energy from your house's back, but it feels odd, almost prickly. The magic feels a bit like the Anna did as she hugged you when you returned to the village.Pete digs each of his hands into ground, raking up two large chunks of mud, grass, and stones. He flings one chunk at you, striking you and nearly knocking you to the ground.He's reaching back, preparing to throw the other one harder.>You have entered combat! Select one option, specify details for bonuses, and roll 2d100!>Attack from horsbro>Hop down and attach with your trench knife>Defend: Keep up a defensive posture, he's just a teen.>Magic: Another spell whynot? [Select Spell]>Ignore Pete and chase down the other two>Write- In
>>4132494>Magic: Another spell whynot? [Select Spell]Let’s blind him
>>4132494Pull out some rope and attempt to cast “Lasso”
Rolled 68, 37 = 105 (2d100)
Rolled 73, 46 = 119 (2d100)I forgot to roll again.
Rolled 55, 93 = 148 (2d100)>>4132547Do we have to roll ? Ok
>>4132504>>4132541Bind the bitch.Why so many typos, QM?
>>4132573>Why so many typos, QM?If you mean previously, it was because I had a glitch with my keyboard app that would screw up as I was typing and what I didn't realize was that it would also sometimes screw up parts on other lines too. Plus, I needed to proofread better and not when half asleep.Any typos in this thread, I have no explanation for.
>>4132494>horsbroDamnit. I might just suck at proofreading.
>>4132573>>4132549>>4132545>>4132542>>4132541>>4132504>Here's mud in your eye!First things first.You pull out your wand and target Pete before he throws the other chunk. "Blind."His eyes glass over reflective white and he looks around frantically, calling out "Hey!"You have a good idea, you pull out your rope and, dropping horsebro's reins, you point your wand at the rope and say "Lasso".Unfortunately, it fizzles.Pete throws the chunk of earth blindly, narrowly missing your right shoulder. Not wanting him to grab more earth you throw the loose loops of rope you have over him, holding your end.It's not a lasso, or well tied, but it's enough to tangle the blind teenager.All this confusion has weakened your concentration on your Blind spell and it feels like it might falter soon. You could recast it or try to bind the ropes tightly around him.>Select one option for magic and one option for combat, specify details for bonuses, and roll 2d100!>Magic: Recast Blind!>Magic: Try casting Bind!>Magic: Write-In>Combat: Ride horsebro and pull rope!>Combat: Yank rope and tie him up yourself!>Combat: Hop down and attack the tangled teen with your trench knife>Combat: Write- In
Rolled 29, 31 = 60 (2d100)>>4134008I tried to make the update more exciting or full to compensate for the time it took me to post, but the meat wasn't there to sizzle without ignoring your intent or the rolls.Speaking of rolls, here are mine.Some days you eat the owlbear. Some days the owlbear eats you.
Rolled 27, 5 = 32 (2d100)>>4134008>Magic: Try casting Bind!>Combat: Ride horsebro and pull rope!He’s already entangled so no need for continued blind>>4134010Ok, it happens man
Rolled 55, 60 = 115 (2d100)>>4134010>Magic: Try casting Bind!>Combat: Ride horsebro and pull rope!Rollan'
>>4134081>>4134123Had no internet this morning.Writing while I have a minute. Let's hope a minute is enough.
>>4135020Damn, wish you luck
Rolled 81, 31 = 112 (2d100)>>4134010It looks like a minute was not enough.Perhaps these rolls can make it in?
>>4135193"Recalculating Rout"If what seems like typo like this seems like an attempt at cleverness, it was likely a joke, like "scents".
>>4135193>>4134123>>4134081>Banzai, Buckaroo!You quickly release the energy keeping his eyes blinded and, as you point your wand at the ropes, you try to cast "Bind". The ropes immediately tighten around the confused teen."Hey!"You feel a slight tug on your magical energy, letting you know that keeping him bound would take continued energy.Looping your end of the rope around the pommel of the saddle, you kick horsebro and he trots forward, pulling Pete off his feet and dragging him behind you as you circle the area.Yelling and grunting as he's dragged along dirt and rocks, Pete starts begging you to stop after about thirty seconds. You hop off horsebro and securely tie up the teen bandit, releasing the bind spell. -5The ropes creak as he struggles against the ropes. Then, the yellow lights fade from the bracelets he wears, one on each wrist, and he seems much weaker.More of that prickly energy is definitely coming from the bracelets.He wriggles in vain trying to get free or touch his hands together.Going through his pockets, you find a knife, some stale jerky, a bag of what looks like candied spiders, and a folded up piece of paper.The paper has a drawing of a treasure chest with a large skull on it secured with chains and what looks like a bowie knife sticking out of the top of it. Next to the drawing are the distortedly written words "Unlimited power" and "Ultimate treasure". There some other markings on the paper that might be Sanskrit for all you know."Let me go!" The teen bellows."Gary?" Ileska calls as she rides up to you."There you are! What happened?" She asks, seeing the trussed up teen."They left this one to stop me while the other two ran off that way." You say, gesturing towards the stream."I was thinking we could ask him a few questions before going after his friends.""They aren't friends!" Pete interrupts. "They're jerks!""I'm not sure, Gary. I spoke to that woman." Ileska says, looking concerned. "She's a traveling healer. Everything she owns was in that backpack. And she depends upon that staff. I think we should hurry to get it back for her before they get too far to track.">What should you do?>Ask Pete about the two others>Ask Pete about the illusion>Ask Pete about the bracelets>Ask Pete about the drawing>Have Ileska put Pete to sleep and go after the others>Write-In
>>4135468>Ask Pete about the two othersTime is precious and this guy knows where they were going to
>>4135468>Have Ileska put Pete to sleep and go after the othersNext time try bind and knot or bind and tie for no continuous energy cost
>>4135468>Ask Pete about the two others
guys, I think Gary is gay
>>4136035You aren't the first to suggest it.>>4077870>Inside: Assess our burgeoning homosexuality>>4136080>Why ?Without further comment, I'll just say that it was difficult to write "You tie up the teenage boy, his strength strains against the ropes but it does not help. You have overpowered him." and not sound a little homoerotic. Also, unrelated cringe at reading what I had previously written:>You can feel the magical energy from your house's backI have to get my eyes checked or just start posting after morning coffee.The meaning here was:"Even from this distance away on your horse's back, you can feel the magical energy,".
>>4135474>>4135839>>Ask Pete about the two othersThen>>4135475>>Have Ileska put Pete to sleep and go after the othersGenerating...We'll see how Fluffles the Owlbear treats me today
>>4135839>>4135475>>4135474>I pity the fools."Where did the other two go?" You ask him."They left me behind like jerks!" The teen replies."But where did they go?""Huh? Oh, the mill, probably. That's what Praksus said to do: 'Come back to the mill'.""Was Praksus the girl or the other guy?""Heh, nah!" Pete laughs."Praksus took over as boss when Billy-boy left, didn't he?"Praksus is the meanest. He makes us do all the work. Gwyneth is nice and sometimes extra mean. Wade is just mean-mean.""Uh-huh... How did they do that illusion? Is one of them a mage?""Nah, they just got pretties like my bracers. We all got some when Billy-boy found 'em, didn't we?"Gwyneth can do stupid 'lusions and Wade and Praksus are inf-enf-anver-" Pete stops talking for a moment, confused."Words used t'be easy, didn't they? Now they're all slippery-rough, ain't they? Don't matter. I'm still strong. Can you let me go so I can smash you now?" He asks sincerely.Okay then. You doubt that you can get much more out of him.You ask Ileska to put him to sleep, which works effortlessly. Then the two of you ride along with the steam until you find an old mill.Obviously the site of a terrible fire many years ago, only the stone walls remain, bearing the scars of ash and flame. There is a leather canvas stretched over one corner, providing a simple roof.Outside the cute blonde and the sullen and dark-skinned teenage boy with her, are pleading with a third man. The man is sitting on a wooden chair by a fire wearing only a loincloth and thick leather boots. He is examining the stolen staff while the backpack rests at his feet.Draped around his neck are many, many gold chains. Numerous golden earrings also hang from his ears. He has a thick scraggly beard matching his dense, black mohawk on the top of his head.His green, rough, and flaky skin stretches tight over his muscles and is covered with irregular bumps and scales. He has some nasty scarring under a black eye patch over his left eye.Your first thought when you see him is that he resembles a sculpture of Mr. T made out of moldy cheese.--->
Rolled 99, 3, 66, 66, 42, 1 = 277 (6d100)>>4137308"I'm telling you! This was all she had!" The blonde Gwyneth is pleading with him."Dung." The green man casually replies, studying the staff closely. "I know when I'm being lied to. If she was alone, where's the third meatsack?""She was alone. Then two others showed up and we ran. Pete stayed to stop them. One saw through my illusion and I think one dispelled it." Gwyneth insists, sounding frustrated."Spellcasters?" Praksus stops his careful studying of the staff to turn his eye to her."Ooh good! I like killing spell casters.""Looks like they killed Pete too." Wade interjects, pointing at you and Ileska in the distance."I thought you said there were two?" Praksus demands, standing up."There are two! The red bitch and love-handles on the horses there." Gwynth spits out, grinning at you."You're telling me that you both see two humans on that horsemeat?"When the two teens nod, Praksus throws his head back and laughs. Without warning he grips Wade's skull, tears his fingers into Wade's eye socket, and rips out his eye. Wade collapses on the ground screaming and clutching his face.Gwyneth scoffs as Praksus kicks the teen a few feet away.He lifts his eyepatch, revealing a small black orb that he pulls out, shoving the bloody mess of Wade's eye into his socket. Blinking he extends the orb to Gwyneth."Here."She lets out a little shriek and jumps back as if it were a deadly snake. Praksus laughs again as he slips it into his loincloth and blinks away the blood.Squinting, he stares at you and Ileska."Aha! I see you, magic man! You casters all think you're so smart! Casting little spells to get around fighting!" He calls out to you."There's no need for violence!" Ileska shouts. "We just need the staff.""Oh, there's no chance of that!"Praksus shouts, drawing a blade that looks to be the product of a meat cleaver mating with a dagger on a bad drinking binge."To be honest, I'm not that excited by the staff. I just really want to kill you.""I hate you." Wade says as he stands, wiping the blood from his eyes, both of his working eyes."And I'm really broken up about that." Praksus replies. "First one of you that kills a mage gets to keep the backpack."The two teens share a look, smile, and charge at you and Ileska yelling.Smirking, Praksus steps through the large campfire unharmed, striding after them.Seeing him unharmed by fire, Ileska is visibly shaken."That is not a normal troll, Gary. I... I'm not sure what to do here!">You have entered combat! Choose at least one action and roll 6d100. (Additional actions, may call for additional rolls or breadsticks)>All actions assumed to be from horseback unless written in otherwise>Attack: Charge [Gwyneth, Wade, or Praksus] with your trench knife>Attack: Sweep left at [Gwyneth, Wade, or Praksus] while Ileska sweeps right>Magic: Blind! Then what?>Magic: [Select Spell]>Item: Offer them some candied spiders or something.>Flee: Run Away!>Write-In
>>4137318>Dem rolls.This kind of thing is exactly why I started spelling out G/I/H/Gw/P/WTo be clear, I will count a roll that matches the 99 as a success, and a 100 as a critical success.As before, since that critfail 1 I rolled can't succeed, you can ignore your lowest roll.>>4136134It turns out that owlbear steak is quite tasty with the right marinade.
Rolled 3, 72, 85, 44, 52, 38 = 294 (6d100)>>4137318>Attack: Charge [ Wade ] with your trench knifeLet’s make good use of his nat 1>>4137369There’s still something that bugs me about those rolls, do we matching the enemies rolls increases their difficulty ?
>>4137378>There’s still something that bugs me about those rolls, do we matching the enemies rolls increases their difficulty ?They are opposed.So, if I roll:Gary: 99Ileska: 3Praksus: 42And you roll:Gary: 3Ileska: 72Praksus: 52Gary's attempt is a large failure. 99>3Ileska's attempt is a large success. 3<72Praksus's attempt is a mild failure. 52>42In short, your roll is the target number the enemy must beat to succeed.
Rolled 26, 12, 41, 92, 13, 30 = 214 (6d100)>>4137318>Magic: Blind! Then what?It's our tried and true spell.
>>4137378>>Attack: Charge [ Wade ] with your trench knifeStarted writing...>>4138532>>Magic: Blind! Then what?Then I got this.Closing voting in order to forge an unholy amalgam.
>>4138709Just for clarification, H is our horse right ?
>>4138768Yep. Ileska's horse can't be counted on to help.
>>4137378>>4138532>Wade's elaborate and involved backstory...As the two teens rush up towards you, Wade kicks Gwyneth's legs out from under her, tripping her. Laughing at her yell, he leaps to your position as you try to maneuver the horse around.Brandishing a large ranger, he gestures at you with it menacingly."You're my dog now!" He taunts, feinting a slash.A large blue ring, also bursting with that prickly magical energy, adorns his finger on his knife-hand.You wildly slash at him trying to make him back off and your blade connects.He backs off in pain and looks down as two of his fingers fall off, severed by your incredibly sharp trench knife. One of the fingers holds the ring and he looks down at it in shock and disbelief. Before either of you can react, he collapses into a loose pile of chunky meat and blood pouring out from his leather garments.What the fuck?--->
>>4139000You look up as Ileska is kicking at Praksus, forcing him back. She then rolls backward off her horse, dives underneath its legs, and slips past the troll's grasp.She ducks past his sweeping arm and jabs an iron knife you didn't know she had into his ribs and lung. He coughs out a bloody spray and laughs.He slashes at her again, missing by several inches.Gwyneth has leapt back to her feet and is rushing at you. She grins like a maniac at the pile of gore that used to be her fellow bandit."Your sweet tender ass is all mine now, Muffin! She exclaims as she charges you.You wildly kick at her with your left foot as she tries to slash open your thigh with a rather vicious looking serrated curved blade."Come on baby, don't you want to see what I can do to your body?" she cackles as she slashes.You try to swing your trench knife at her face and miss by at least two feet as she lunges forward.Horsebro, not liking her presence one bit, backs quickly away from her bumping her slightly as he tries to avoid the mad girl.Ileska ducks and rolls underneath another slash from Praksus. His continued coughing up blood doesn't seem to slow him down much. But the dexterous witch finishes her roll and kicks back with her leg at full strength into his knee, making his leg buckle.He again laughs."Haha, you're pretty good at fighting for a witch bitch, you know that? Pity, it won't save you."He slashes forward as she ducks out of the way again, this time nicking a quick slash on her cheek and leaving a scarlet line.Meanwhile, you've decided to try a little magic on Gwyneth and Praksus. Sheathing your trench knife, you draw your wand and prepare to cast."Magic, eh flank steak? I can do that too!" She responds.Suddenly, you are surrounded by about 20 to 30 copies of less, less than half of which are less than half-dressed to totally nude. All of which are converging on you and wielding that nasty curved blade.Horsebro is freaking out and bucking trying to get away from them all. Trying your best to target two people in opposite directions you cast "Bl-ow!"Many of the copies of Gwyneth slash forward with their curved blade and one of them slashes a deep gash in your left calf. Your spell fizzled.It hurts like a son of a bitch.>You are in glorious combat! Choose at least one action and roll 5d100. (Additional actions may call for additional rolls)>All actions assumed to be from horseback unless written-in otherwise>Attack: Fight the Gwyneths with your trench knife!>Defense: Kick at the Gwyneths to keep her at bay.>Magic: Blind!>Magic: [Select Spell]>Try to get horsebro to ride to Ileska's aid.>Write-In
Rolled 64, 64, 11, 81, 98 = 318 (5d100)>>4139017>Magic: [Weaken Illusion]Take a sip every time you forget to rollAlso I’m glad we killed Sauron jr
>>4139017Did she have a ring too? Or anything that looked similar? Try removing or summoning it with magic. Otherwise try "Dull her blade"
Rolled 76, 27, 69, 6, 39 = 217 (5d100)>>4139017>>4139063forgot to roll, taking a shot
>>4139063weaken illusion to cancel her clones is our safe bet
>>4139077I like to live dangerously
Rolled 53, 59, 40, 79, 6 = 237 (5d100)>>4139044>Take a sip every time you forget to rollTake another every time I typo!This kills the anon.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4139063>Did she have a ring too? Or anything that looked similar?Great question!There's a variable, so...1-21 = no clue22-42 = small clue43-63 = solid indication64-100 = She slipped up.
>>4139129>>4139063You notice that Gwynth wears a faded red scarf around her neck. You distinctly saw a red light glow from under it when the copies of her appeared. Most of the copies, even some of the naked ones, are wearing the red scarf around their necks.
>>4139148Try something like "Remove her necklace" maybe?
Probably going to need a tiebreaker or something.I'll Be Bach.While I'm gone, maybe someone will work out who's Beethoven and who's Mozart.
Rolled 12, 26, 92, 62, 49 = 241 (5d100)>>4139017>Magic: “Begone Thot!”
>>4139355Pls let’s go with weaken illusion to deal with her clones, it’s a spell that we already have
Rolled 11, 24, 38, 80, 17 = 170 (5d100)>>4139355>>4139065>>4139044>Begone thots!You are surrounded by a swarm of murderous blade-wielding crazy women. This Harem Jutsu bullshit has to go.You focus and cast "Weaken Illusion!"All but one of the Gwyneths become slightly transparent.The solid one is lunging towards you with that vicious curved blade. Dropping the reins, you draw your trench knife barely in time to deflect her stab to your gut. Her blade lightly scratches your side as try to push her away.Horsebro bucks and rears up, kicking his hooves through the transparent women. Spinning, his flank slams into her, knocking her on her ass. Ileska continues to duck, dodge, and dive to avoid Praksus' attacks. At one point, she grabs his arm and attempts to put him to sleep, but he throws her to the ground, hard. He raises his massive weapon high with a sheer and grunts as she stabs her knife through the top of his boot. He brings his blade down, almost cleaving her as she rolls away.Ileska scrambles away, tearing up the dirt and grass as she stands. Praksus leaps after her only to fall flat on the ground, his foot pinned to the ground by her knife.>You are still in combat! Choose at least one action and roll 5d100. (Additional actions may call for additional rolls)>All actions assumed to be from horseback unless written in otherwise>Attack: Keep fighting one Gwyneth with your trench knife!>Defense: Kick at Gwyneth to keep her at bay.>Magic: Try "Remove Necklace">Magic: [Select Spell]>Try to get horsebro to ride to Ileska's aid.>Write-In
Rolled 65, 96, 38, 47, 20 = 266 (5d100)>>4140346>Magic: Try "Remove Necklace"We gotta end this fast, red bimb... I mean Ileska is surviving by a thread against this orc
Rolled 17, 8, 33, 22, 83 = 163 (5d100)>>4140346>Magic: Try "Remove Necklace"RIP chunky
Rolled 52, 5, 61, 48 = 166 (4d100)>>4140355>>4140353>Accessory to murderRemembering the flash of red light under her scarf and seeing your opportunity to stop her cold, you prepare to cast.She leaps to her feet, charging at you screaming. "I'll carve you and horse into boots!""Remove necklace."There is an audible snapping sound and she stumbles to a stop.A silver choker, that resembles barbed wire with a red gem in the center, slips from under her scarf and tumbles to the ground.Her free hand clutches her neck in pain and her eyes go wide in realization. She looks down at the necklace and starts frantically kicking at it.Missing it the first time, sending it flying several feet away with her second kick, and slipping backward onto her ass again with the third.Catching her fall with her knife hand, she holds up the blade and looks at in horror and disgust. Tossing it aside as hard as she can, she covers her eyes with the hand and begins murmuring."It's not real. It wasn't real. It was illusions. It was the necklace. It wasn't me! It wasn't me."She begins to rock and repeat. "Itwasnotmeitwasnotmeitwasnotmeitwasnotme..."Horsebro snorts in disinterest and shakes his head.Ileska continues her battle with Praksus.While he was standing up, she pulled an iron baton out of her robes and was readying it to strike.Staring her down, he stoically pulls at his pinned foot, intending to tear it free dramatically. However, it refuses to dislodge from either the boot or ground.He bends down, pulling the knife out and tossing It aside.Ileska swings down with the baton as hard as she can. There is a loud crack and he takes a staggering step.She strikes again and again. The fourth crack to his head sends a fragment of his skull sailing off in an arc and he collapses to the ground.The top of his skull is battered and bloody and there are pieces of skull and brain stuck to his mohawk.Ileska stands panting, winded and grasping the baton with both hands. She regards the results of her gruesome assault with a grim expression.The troll stands up.>You are still in fucking combat! Choose at least one action and roll 4d100. >All actions assumed to be from horseback unless written in otherwise>Attack: Charge Praksus with your trench knife!>Defense: Get between Praksus and Ileska to give her some time to recover as you keep him at bay.>Magic: [Select Spell]>Write-In
I didn't leave a window open for you this time gents. Gotta make your own. I'm not worried.
Rolled 79, 89, 55, 16 = 239 (4d100)>>4140629oh damn there's brain in his mohawk?>Magic: Bring me that dude's brainalso I wonder why the girl didn't turn into meat chunks like the guy
Rolled 53, 47, 82, 15 = 197 (4d100)>>4140629>Magic: [Frost]Since he’s immune to fire, let’s try some cold
>>4140633It’s a good thing he didn’t get to attack yet, gave us some time
>>4140639>I wonder why the girl didn't turn into meat chunks like the guyExcellent Question!
>>4140648so the guy was Sauron wannabe and the girl was the classic corrupted heroin
>>4140639>>4140643>BrainfreezeYou turn your attention and your wand to the troll. You try "Frost." The surface of the man is covered with a chilling layer of frost.Praksus wipes his face, blinks, and turns to you."Cute. But wait your turn."Then he turns back to Ileska.She has adopted a defensive stance, her armored arm facing the brute with the baton ready to deflect a blow.He swings hard with a savage slash followed by a quick backslash.She parries both blows expertly but is completely on the defensive.Seeing the bits of brain in his mohawk, you realize that his skull is not yet closed.You try "Bring me that dude's- no, wait...""Bring me that brain."You feel an odd sort of tug on your magic as the spell is cast. Praksus lurches and sways for a moment and all the pieces of brain fly into your outstretched hand. The grey matter in his skull stays put.Ileska shouts "I don't think that spell can pull away something that is attached, Ga- Ah!"She is interrupted as she deflects another blow from the troll, already recovered from having his brain tugged on, apparently. This troll is a beast. He's a skilled and strong warrior with no fear. He has instantly started regenerating any damage dealt to him besides burning, which he seems immune to.How can you stop him before he wears Ileska down?>Choose an action and roll 4d100. >Attack: Charge Praksus with your trench knife!>Defense: Get between Praksus and Ileska to give her some time to recover as you keep him at bay.>Magic: [Select Spell]>Write-In
>>4140673>so the guy was Sauron wannabe and the girl was the classic corrupted heroinClose, I'll reveal that she's not a corrupted heroine. Heroin is closer to Pete's issue.The answers lies within the prickles, my anon.
Rolled 88, 75, 65, 30 = 258 (4d100)>>4140737Damn it!Taking my shot. This quest is gonna kill my liver.
Rolled 15, 68, 18, 97 = 198 (4d100)>>4140737>Magic: [Select Spell]Let’s try ‘Acid Spray’, since it’s our only option after fire to stop his regeneration >>4140748It’s seems Gary won’t be attacking now
>>4140737>Throw our knife above Praksusand then>Magic: BrainshotIf nutshot worked so should this, right? I don't see us having the power to put him down with conventional tactics even if acid does negate his regen. Even this I feel is just gonna make him retarded so Ileska can finish him off.
Rolled 84, 62, 48, 81 = 275 (4d100)>>4140737>>4140815A shot for me too
Rolled 89, 45, 87, 94, 16 = 331 (5d100)>>4140815This. Do we have any other iron weapons? In not use the trench knife. Give it a high arching trajectory.
>>4140886>Do we have any other iron weapons?Yes. Two knives I believe. However...>>4091833>All trolls heal very rapidly unless burned by the sun or other means and are not affected in the slightest by iron.Ileska's iron weapons aren't affecting him the way iron hurt Serena or Cinnamon.Also worth noting: You don't know what your trench knife is made of, but it isn't steel or iron.>>4128306>You also notice a steel sheathed trench knife on your belt where your other knife was.The sheath is steel. The knife is not, although it seems as strong as steel. (This isn't a clue for Praksus, just a clarification)
>>4140886New Rule, if you roll too many dice, I accept only the first ones.So, that 16 is dropped.
Rolled 64, 9, 61, 46 = 180 (4d100)>>4140886>>4140818>>4140785>Nothing but netDesperate for a solid advantage, you throw your trench knife in a high arch over Praksus' head and try "Brainshot."It fizzles.The knife drops, as do your hopes, and in sudden inspiration, you shout "Headshot!"The knife falls straight into the troll's skull.Praksus' free hand had just gripped Ileska's robes and she pulls herself free. She runs a distance away, where you ride to meet her. She looks up at you in concern as Praksus fumbles to grip the handle of your trench knife sticking out of his head."Gary..." She pants. "I... Don't think we can damage him quickly enough to stop him. I don't know why burning doesn't work, but we have found another approach... I-""Burning is what he fears!" Gwyneth calls out, staring at you two while still rocking on the ground where you left her."It wasn't me! It-it protects you from what you fear most and then... It kills you! But not him! Never him! It wasn't me! It-it was- Don't touch it! It was not me! Itwasnotmeitwasnotme..."She returns to murmuring.So you need a strategy that doesn't depend on wearing him down with damage. What can you do?>Choose an action and roll 4d100. >Attack: Charge Praksus with your back-up knife! That'll work!>Magic: [Select Spell]>Run Away! Try to go grab the staff and backpack and ride away, abandoning your trench knife and the freedom of a life without the thought of a killer troll returning to filet you in your sleep.>Write-In
Rolled 42, 36, 90, 43 = 211 (4d100)>>4140997>Magic: [Select Spell]Fireball to his exposed head wound, let’s try and test what the girl said about it
>>4140997Can we see if he is wearing a trinket like the other two have been?
>>4141311Not awake yet.See>>4137308>The man is sitting on a wooden chair by a fire wearing only a loincloth and thick leather boots. He is examining the stolen staff while the backpack rests at his feet.>Draped around his neck are many, many gold chains. Numerous golden earrings also hang from his ears. He has a thick scraggly beard matching his dense, black mohawk on the top of his head.>His green, rough, and flaky skin stretches tight over his muscles and is covered with irregular bumps and scales. He has some nasty scarring under a black eye patch>>4137318>He lifts his eyepatch, revealing a small black orb that he pulls out, shoving the bloody mess of Wade's eye into his socket. Blinking he extends the orb to Gwyneth.>"Here.">She lets out a little shriek and jumps back as if it were a deadly snake. Praksus laughs again as he slips it into his loincloth and blinks away the blood.
>>4141229>>4141345After reading this, let’s aim for his loincloth instead
Rolled 12, 86, 40, 54 = 192 (4d100)>>4141389>>4141311>>4141229>Firecrotch!With a sickening slurp sound, the troll dislodges the trench knife from his skull and tosses it aside.Remembering the black orb, you point your wand at Praksus and try "Fireball nutshot!"Ileska raises an eyebrow at you before deciding to try charging at him after a softball-sized sphere of fire hits his crotch.Apparently feeling no effects from the fire, he pats out most of the flames as his loincloth starts to burn. Reaching into the scorched cloth, he pulls out the orb and clutches it tightly in his hand."Clever little spellslinger! Even without this bauble, I'm more force than you can handle. Although, I think I'll keep hold of it for now..."Ileska's charge ends with a sharp strike surprising him upside the head. She quickly follows with three rapid strikes to his clutched hand. There is the sound of crunching bone, but he tenaciously holds on.A hard swing of his blade ends Ileska's assault as she deflects his weapon and jumps back.A guttural laugh spills from him as the two of you wonder what to do next."I wish we still had that rope." Ileska comments.>Choose an action and roll 4d100. >Attack: Charge Praksus with your back-up knife! That will surely work!>Magic: [Select Spell]>Item: [Select Item]>Write-In
>>4142428How is our wand’s charge doing? If it still has a decent amount of charge, we could try “smokescreen” and “Infrared Sight”
Rolled 91, 15, 17, 22 = 145 (4d100)>>4142428>Magic: [Select Spell]Bring me my knife
>>4142482>How is our wand’s charge doing?Wand Charge 
>>4142482Mind rolling as well ?
Rolled 97, 31, 35, 19 = 182 (4d100)>>4142715Oh yeah whoops
Rolled 85, 16 = 101 (2d100)>>4142488>>4142827High success for Gary.High Failure for Ileska.Venti success for Praksus.They aren't crits, but I'm chart-rolling for inspiration.
>>4142871>inb4 Ileska slips on a banana peel, distracting Praksus while we Batista bomb him outta nowhere
>>4142871>>4142914Actually, that went smoother than expected.I would say that I'm writing, but it will be 5 to 9 hours before I can really post an update, dog willing.>Googled "Batista bomb"That is not something I would have Gary attempt without player consensus.
>>4142969>Googled "Batista bomb">That is not something I would have Gary attempt without player consensus.KEK, I doubt Gary has the strength to use it effectively, maybe if we fought a goblin
>>4142482>>4142488>>4142827>You ain't got time to bleed.First, you want your knife back. You try "Bring me my knife." while pointing your want at where your knife fell.The blade flies towards you and you manage to catch it by the handle, mostly by accident."I'm going to try something else." You say to Ileska, pointing your wand.You try "Smokescreen."A wide spray of dense smoke, like from burning oil, issues forth from the tip your wand, quickly covering the troll.Ileska charges forward before he is completely concealed by smoke, swinging her baton down at his hand.He swiftly brings his hand up, knocking her hand and the baton.The iron baton flies free, twirling upwards and cracking Ileska in the face. She staggers back a step, clearly stunned, as the thick smoke cloaks them both.Quickly, you break off the smokescreen spell and point your wand at your eyes. You try "Infrared sight."You feel a strange tingling throughout your body and a weird glitchy flux in your magery. You feel an unusual itching as the cuts you received earlier heal shut. You feel oddly reinvigorated.The tingling coalesces in your eyes and your vision is suddenly replaced with Predator vision, with infrared sight. You can clearly see the shape and form of Praksus and Ileska in the smoke as shapes of warm colors amidst the blue smoke."Ha!" He bellows. "You think a little smoke in my eyes is going to stop me? I've been fighting half-blind for longer than you've been alive, human whelp!"To prove his claim, he slashes with his large blade and cuts across right where Ileska's throat had been just a moment before, proving that his ability to fight blind was was only partially boasting.>Choose an action and roll 3d100, as Ileska remains stunned.>Attack: Charge Praksus, striking his orb hand with your trench knife. He can't see you coming!>Pull Ileska out of the smoke before it thins.>Magic: [Select Spell]>Item: [Select Item]>Write-In
Wand Charge 
Rolled 68, 97, 99 = 264 (3d100)>>4143931>Attack: Charge Praksus, striking his orb hand with your trench knife. He can't see you coming!Ok, I’m getting angry
>>4143931I’m sorry for your liver buddy
Rolled 66, 88, 8 = 162 (3d100)>>4143931*drinks shot of Devil Springs Vodka*...and here's that roll
>>4144011I know, right?
Rolled 82, 20, 69 = 171 (3d100)>>4143931>Attack: Charge Praksus, striking his orb hand with your trench knife. He can't see you coming!Maybe try out melee
Rolled 8, 53, 42, 35 = 138 (4d100)>>4144016>>4144848>...and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.Filling with anger at the troll, you kick Horsebro into action and charge.Keeping your trench knife out and forward, you hope to slash him deep in the first charge and keep cutting him down in melee.You see the red and orange shape of Praksus turning towards the approaching sound of galloping hooves. He lowers his body in preparation to slash at Horsebro when he gets close.You adjust the angle of your knife and tell the speeding horse to watch out.As you enter the dense cloud of smoke, Horsebro leaps.Praksus swings hard with his blade, bringing his other arm up to block. His blade harmlessly passes under flying hooves and you feel a jarring impact as your knife strikes troll flesh with the combined weight and momentum of you and Horsebro.Your shoulder howls at the abuse, but Praksus howls louder and longer. You turn around for another pass and see an orange shape on the ground, lying next to Praksus as he bellows in pain. He has dropped his blade and is holding the severed stump of his other arm."Gary?" Ileska asks from the outer edge of the smoke. "What's going on?">Choose an action and roll 4d100, as Ileska has recovered from being stunned.>Attack: Charge Praksus again while he is distracted.>Pull Ileska out of the smoke before it thins.>Magic: [Select Spell]>Item: [Select Item]>Write-In
Rolled 61, 12, 47, 47 = 167 (4d100)>>4145308>Magic: [Select Spell]Bring me Praksus’ Orb
Rolled 76, 58, 89, 73 = 296 (4d100)>>4145308>Pull Ileska out of the smoke before it thins>"I DE-ARMED him Ileska!"
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>4145332>>4145352Damn tie.I can see a number of possibilities and so, to prevent bias, I'm rolling for it:1: Summon orb2-4: Pull Ileska out5: Summon orb & Pull Ileska out6: Summon orb with hand attached7: Summon orb with hand attached & Pull Ileska out8: Summon orb with QM fiat9: Summon orb with QM fiat & Pull Ileska out10: Somehow, all of the above.
>>4146397What is the difference of the regular action and it with the ‘QM fiat’ ?
>>4146459See>>4143931>You try "Bring me my knife." while pointing your want at where your knife fell.>The blade flies towards you and you manage to catch it by the handle, mostly by accident.>>4140997>"It wasn't me! It-it protects you from what you fear most and then... It kills you! But not him! Never him! It wasn't me! It-it was- Don't touch it! It was not me! Itwasnotmeitwasnotme..."
>>4145332>>4145352>Gary's pick up lineSeeing your opportunity to take his protection away, you try "Bring me Praksus' Orb."You feel the tug on your magic as small orange shape shifts and a small dark blue shape flies towards your outstretched hand."Target! No!"After hearing Sven's familiar voice from your backpack, you feel an unsettling skittering of skeletal rat feet racing over your back, down your arm, and into your hand as the orb hits.Looking in your hand, you see you are holding a dark green rat skeleton that is clutching the dark blue orb.Only now, you remember Gwyneth's cryptic warning not to touch it."Sven, are you okay?" You ask.You can feel the prickly magic energy of the orb flowing into his rat body.He doesn't respond, but simply grips the orb tightly as if in a seizure.You carefully guide the ratskellyorb into your pocket without touching the orb.Losing no more time, you kick Horsebro into action and race towards Ileska, charging into the smoke.Your plan is to race to her, pull her up onto the horse behind you in one swift motion, and race to a safe distance without slowing.What actually happens is that when you reach to pull her, she only lifts a few inches off the ground before your strength fails."Gary? Wha-whoop!"She figures your intent and latches onto the saddle, her arms around you, and lifting her legs as you awkwardly cling to her back.But it got the job done and you stop and let her down a safe distance away."What happened back there, Gary?""I DE-ARMED him Ileska!" You grin.She simply stares at you in response."I- uh, cut off his hand holding the orb that I think was protecting him, and took it.""So he might be vulnerable to fire now?""I think so, yeah.""Okay, so when the smoke clears and you can see him, take your shot. My fire magic isn't as strong as yours.""I can see him now.""What? How?"You point at your eyes. "Infrared Sight!" You say, grinning.The orange shape of Ileska's head shakes in confusion."Whatever. Hit with what you can then, Gary.">Choose an action and roll 4d100, whynot?>Attack: Charge Praksus again while he grips his stub in pain. Chopping up trolls is fun.>Magic: Fireball him but try to keep him alive for interrogation.>Magic: FINISH HIM!>Magic: [Select Spell]>Item: [Select Item]>Write-In
Rolled 19, 92, 80, 4 = 195 (4d100)>>4146902>Magic: FINISH HIM!By now, QM is starting to become Irish
Rolled 11, 72, 21, 85 = 189 (4d100)>>4146925>>4146902Ah dinnah know bou tha...
>>4146943He even forgot his trip, what an alcohol slut
Rolled 93, 42, 53, 1 = 189 (4d100)>>4146902>Magic Finish Him“Napalm” if that doesn’t work, just Fireball
Rolled 58, 77, 98, 63 = 296 (4d100)>>4146902>FINISHLooks like you're getting yeeted into the shadow realm Praksus
Rolled 68 (1d200)Well, the votes and dice say that Praksus is definitely burned like a guy at a horta whorehouse, but the dice also say that he's reasonably successful at what he's trying to do. So I'm going to roll on crit table 72 to figure out what that is. You're hoping for higher than 125.
Update might be late tonight, as I have to go foraging in the wastelands for supplies and ammunition.
>>4148192So a last ditch effort, good grief
>>4148244Beware Corona-chan and Godspeed man, may you live up to your name
>>4148397Short trip indeed.Nobody told me that the wastelands closes earlier now.
>>4146925>>4147173>>4147210>I love the smell of napalm in the morning!Turning your attention and your wand back to Praksus, you cast. "Napalm."The orange silhouette of Praksus amidst the smoke erupts into flickering yellow light and his guttural howl becomes a high pitched scream.Even as he screams and flames leap from his body, he staggers towards the ground and picks up a dark blue object."Gary!" Shouts Ileska. "Remember the wizard! What you used when you were practicing with the black powder!"You remember. With a strange calm you point your wand at him again and say. "Puff.".You let a good chunk of magic flow with the casting.There is a whitish-yellow yellow flash as the flames consuming Praksus burn hotter and more intense. You don't know if it's because of the explosion of energy from your work, or if it was a last-ditch spiteful effort from Praksus, but there is a dark blue blur as his monstrous blade flies from the smoke and right towards your location.You try to warn Ileska but before you can say anything the blade strikes flesh and you fall off the horse.--->
>>4148651Horsebro is whinnying terribly when you pick yourself up.Shaking your head you realize you lost the infra-red sight spell but from the silence coming from the smoke you're convinced that Praksus is no more.Turning to Horsebro, you see a bright red gash of blood on his upper right leg where the blade grazed him. Ileska is already trying to calm the horse and tend to his wound."Is it bad?" You ask Ileska."It's pretty deep." She says. "I can stop the bleeding, but I think Gretchen's magic can heal him up good as new once we get her staff back to her.Looking around the area you see the staff in backpack still by the bonfire that Praksus had been sitting by. There's also more than a few pieces of weaponry and jewelry lying about that should probably be collected.And there's also the issue of what to do with Gwyneth and Pete.Now that you know that the jewelry is the source of their powers, you might be able to remove Pete's bracelets and untie him. But that still leaves the question of what to do with them both."What do you think we should do about Pete and her?" You say, indicating the still babbling Gwyneth rocking back and forth on the ground. "I'm not exactly sure, Gary." She says. "I don't think either one of them has the kind of damage that I can help with. It's possible Gretchen might be able to do something for them but I'm just not sure what."You collect the staff and backpack for Gretchen. But you're still not sure what to do about the jewelry and the two bandits. "Would it be legal for us to, you know, execute them?""Well, they're bandits, oathbreakers, so the troll and the other one we were perfectly fine to kill in defending ourselves. And nobody would probably care if you killed these two as well."But I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of simply executing them. I don't even like killing in battle unless I absolutely have to.""What about it some sort of law enforcement agency that we could take them to?""Well technically, we're in Elven territory, so we could take them to the Bridge, but they don't usually prosecute human bandits from the road."I'm honestly not sure what to do with them. Gretchen is a healer that travels through here a lot. She might have some advice on it. I trust you to decide, Gary.">Please answer both questions and add anything you think I've forgotten:>What will you do about Gwyneth and Pete?>Execute them.>Leave them tied up here.>Bring them to Gretchen for now.>Bring them to Elven Justice after returning Gretchen's belongings.>Write-In>What will you do about the jewelry: the orb, the necklace, the ring, the bracelets?>Leave them here, they're somebody else's problem.>Bury them next to the old mill, it should keep them hidden without risking exposing yourself to that prickly magic.>Carefully bag up all the jewelry to be identified later.>Write-In
>>4148653>Bring them to Gretchen for now.>Carefully bag up all the jewelry to be identified later.
>>4148653>carefully bag up the items to be identified later>carefully bag up anything else in his camp that looks moderately valuable >knock out the two with Illeska’s magic and bring them to Gretchen>Magic: “Play the song Fortunate son by Credence Clearwater Revival” or if that doesn’t work, “create the illusory sound I am remembering” and torch the camp with “Napalm”
Sorry for the delay gents.I've had to spend much of the day resupplying after my trek into the wastelands amidst the thrall hordes and aloof geese and also checking in on the family.Voting is closed. I will update as soon as I can manage it. It's my first music montage update, makes me wish I could actually do something about that.In the meantime, please accept this humble offering of a text from my father, illustrating where I get my elite typing skills and a third of my silliness.
>>4150250>It's my first music montage updateOk, this is epic.>In the meantime, please accept this humble offering of a text from my father, illustrating where I get my elite typing skills and a third of my silliness.How old is your pal and does he use something ?
>>4150316>Ok, this is epic....uh*frantic scrambling sounds*...sure! I can totally actually do something about that!*panicked frantic scrambling sounds continue*>>please accept this humble offering of a text from my father>How old is your pal and does he use something?My pal is my dad and is 76 and he uses an ancient flip phone with a far too small screen for his eyesight and thick callused fingers and general lack of concern for typos.Not sure exactly what connotation you meant by "use something". Sorry.I actually have a funny story about his texting that I'll share later.Now I just have to, uh, do a few things...
>>4150316>>4150463I just now realized that "pal" could have easily been a typo for "pa", which would not only make complete sense but also make my poking fun at it mean that I was making fun of somebody else's typo.That's exponentially more of an ass move than I intended.I aim for more of a casual level of jackassery, not the uber level that would involve.My apologies, I had to get ahead of that, back to doing all of the things.
Are sound webms not allowed on /qst/?Fuck it.I did it less than an hour. If nobody believes me, it won't be the first time.Update coming when the morning sun cradles my my face, slaps my ass, and starts me off on a new day!Give or take an hour or so. I need my coffee.
>>4151255>Are sound webms not allowed on /qst/?Damn, you really did it. Try making a link to it, dunno.
>>4151255Is your clock based on Neptune’s calendar ? I’m pretty sure more than an hour passed
>>4152313Fair enough. And no, I base my clock on Uranus. And I meant an hour after I woke up, but the morning sun did a lot more than slap my ass and it didn't even offer me lube.I'll post what I have and finish the update now.
>>4149491>>4149278>>4148681>Fortunate wonOnce Horsebro is tended to, you start picking up the weapons dropped earlier while Ileska collects her horse grazing much further upriver. In addition to Ileska's iron baton and knife, you also keep Gwyneth's curved dagger and Praksus' blade.Using your knife, you carefully prod, pick up, and place the blue gem ring, red gem necklace, and black orb into a leather bag, binding it tightly closed.You find that the rat skeleton crumbled to dust in your pocket. You're not sure what that means for Sven, but you hope he's okay somewhere.He really saved your hide.Ileska returns with her horse and you ask for her help with Gwyneth. The two of you approach the girl as she still sits rocking on the ground.She looks up at you with red puffy eyes and tears streaming down her face."It... it wasn't me, you know? It was the curse! It wasn't me! The necklace made me... It wasn't me..." She starts to ramble again.Ileska kneels down next to her, gently brushing the mess of blonde hair from the girl's face."I know, child. I know..." She says to her softly.Gwynth stops rambling for a moment and looks at Ileska with desperation.Ileska places her hand on the girls soaked cheek and chants "May the Bright Lady grant you Peace. Rest now and sleep."Gwynth falls forward into her arms, unconscious. You pick her up, surprised at how small and light she is.You drape her over Ileska's horse because you want to leave injured Horsebro unencumbered.Picking through the rest of the camp, you don't find you much else. There is a bag of meats, cheeses, and fruits, but after finding multiple items with troll-sized bites taken out of them, you leave it, disgusted.That chair is actually quite nice, but it would be awkward and weird to carry it.The leather tarp could be handy, so you cut it down and begin rolling it up as Ileska uses some of the rope to bind Gwyneth's hands behind her back.As you are rolling up the tarp, you wonder about these bandits. I mean, if they're robbing people, where is all the loot?Do they have buried treasure somewhere?Should you interrogate them?Thinking about Praksus' dominating personality, it wouldn't surprise you if that low rent Mr. T wannabe hid it all from the others and-...fuck.--->
>>4152409You turn and look at the charred troll corpse. All those fucking gold chains. That's where he was stockpiling loot.Fuck. You're going to have to dig them out of him.You grimly walk towards the body.Ileska asks you what you're doing and you turn back to explain it. As you're talking, you see her expression turn to one of horror.The reaction seems a little extreme. I mean, sure, it might be morbid, but that gold is just sitting there and-*crunch*Behind you, you hear the sound of crispy barbecued meat pulling apart and you realize that Ileska is not looking at you in horror. She is looking behind you.You turn and see Praksus, charred and blackened, standing up.Oh, fuck no.Just, no.Praksus staggers to his feet and looks down. He picks up the charred remains of his severed hand and, pressing the hand's stub in place against his arm, the amputated limb reattaches.He flexes the hand, examining it.Then he turns and looks directly at you. What the fuck.--->
>>4152414Hand raised, he looks at you and... waves hello?"Hello Target! This vessel is in far better shape than the other one. I couldn't manage to assemble that one at all."Thank fuck, it's only Sven.After recovering from a near heart attack, you vent a little by hacking the gold chains from around Sven's neck, explaining first, of course.You end up with a heavy lump of slightly melted gold with a minimum of charred troll flesh embedded in it. It should be worth quite a bit.Sven makes use of the leather tarp to fashion a sort of leather cloak tied around him with rope. The result looks like a burned and diseased leper, but it should be passable until someone checks under the hood.With the horses packed up, you walk away from the damned camp.Inspired, you try "Create the illusory sound I am remembering."Emanating from somewhere around you, in clear notes and at a good listening volume, you hear a song familiar to you but before heard on this world:"Some folks are born made to wave the flag..."Ooh, they're red, white and blue"And when the band plays 'Hail to the chief'"Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord"It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no senator's son, sonIt ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one," Ileska turns and looks at you curiously."It's an Earth thing. Go with it." You respond simply.She shrugs and listens to the music as she walks."Some folks are born silver spoon in hand"Lord, don't they help themselves, oh"But when the taxman comes to the door"Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale, yes"It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no millionaire's son, no"It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one, no" You see Ileska smile and nodding to the melody."Some folks inherit star spangled eyes"Ooh, they send you down to war, Lord"And when you ask them, 'How much should we give?'"Ooh, they only answer 'More! More! More!' Oh"It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no military son, son"It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one, one" Without looking, you casually point your wand back to their camp as you cast. "Napalm Puff."Ileska and her horse jump and she lets out a small yelp as the camp explodes into flames. She turns to you, shocked. Doing your best to keep striding forward nonchalantly like a badass, you see her in your peripheral vision chuckling and shaking her head, grinning at you."It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one, no no noIt ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate son, no no no...You walk on, leaving the camp and the life and legacy of Praksus to burn to ashes behind you.https://webmshare.com/RyBOq--->
>>4152416That video was really... anti-climatic
>>4152416You find Pete where you left him, still asleep.You pry off the bracelets with a knife and add them to the bag. You bind his hands behind his back and, with Ileska's help, drape him over the back of her horse as well.You finally return to the road and find Gretchen, the healer woman, waiting where you last saw her.She is very relieved to see you and thanks you repeatedly when you return her backpack and staff.She readily heals you, Ileska, and Horsebro of your injuries. Her healing magic feels much stronger and deeper than Ileska's. Even your wrist feels better and you spot Ileska stretching her armored arm.Gretchen just clucks her tongue and mumbles something about "silly spirit work" when she sees Sven.After examining Pete, she casts some kind of healing magic on him and he wakes up, sliding off the horse, still bound."Oh, my head... Wow. Thank you!" He says at all of you. "Thank you so much. Those bracers were powerful but addictive. Before I even realized that they were sapping my intelligence, I was too addicted to care."I can't remember most of the time since Billy-boy put that crown on and took off, but I take it that you guys took out Praksus and Wade, or we wouldn't be here like this."You and Ileska share a look in response to the dramatic change in Pete."And you ma'am." He says, turning to Gretchen. "I think I remember knocking you down and robbing you. I apologize. Preying on innocent lone travelers isn't what I joined this crew for."I know that I was cursed, but my actions were still my own. And I know I did still worse things. I don't want to lose my life or freedom, but I won't fight any of you.""Apology accepted, young man." Gretchen nods before turning to examine Gwyneth.She shakes her head sadly."This one bears the marks of long term trauma. There's little I can do for her. Perhaps if we took her to the healing temple where I trained, she might mend, in time."It is far, far down the river though. You folk have already gone so much out of your way. I could probably take her if you wish. I can certainly help her a little now though."Gretchen casts with her staff again and Gwyneth wakes up.She lifts her head and looks around confused.--->
>>4152574She sees Pete and remarks "Hey Pete! I thought you were dead!"Feeling her hands bound behind her back she drops her head back down. "Glad we got a little more time, anyway. I mean, we killed people Pete...""I know, Gwyneth."She falls silent, simply calmly lying on the horse."So, what're you folk going to do with us? If you don't mind me asking? We're thieves, oathbreakers, and, well, technically killers too."You can take us to the law now. It's better than those cursed relics. Be careful not to use them, especially Praksus' orb. We should have handled such great power with more responsibility."Come to think of it, I can't remember where we are...""From the horse, Gwyneth replies without lifting her head. " We're by the burnt mill.""What? You mean as in Billy-boy's girl?Marie? That mill? We're all the way back here? Damn. So, I guess that makes it the elves then, huh folks?">What will you do?>Take the bandits to the elves to see justice.>Let them go free.>Take them to the healing temple downriver>Have Gretchen take them to the healing temple.>Write-In>(Also, feel free to add any additional questions you have for them.)
>>4152579>Have Gretchen take them to the healing temple.>"How did you know each other, why did you join praksus and who gave you those cursed relics ?"
>>4152490It seemed better in my head.But yeah.I tried to downplay it with the "frantic scrambling". If someone is frantically scrambling to get you a snack, you shouldn't expect gourmet hors d'oeuvres.I don't really have time to put together serious multimedia content for a tangental idea added to an update. The alternative would have been to postpone the quest for a couple of days to get a significantly more polished animated version of that. For no raisins.It'd be different if I had planned on revealing a character or scene and set something up to accompany the reveal. And of course, once it's revealed, Gary could run the other way and never encounter that again. Making all the effort just a fart in the wind.I was satisfied that it worked at all. It literally went from an idea with no assets to a finished product in an hour, and I had never made a webm before.It was fun and I'd like to make something better sometime.But "anticlimactic" is a generous description. I'll take it. Thank you.
>>4152608The quality is so understandable, it just what was shown and how music starts halfway through the video and then it ends before the video
>>4152608I thought it was pretty cool, I like the drawings. When I ran I only ever did images but I never made them myself, just little edits of actual ones and occasionally music from some YouTube videos. Making stuff like that little video is already above and beyond the call of duty in my opinion. It’s always fun to do the little extra for good moments and nothing says “I love the smell of napalm in the morning” quite like Fortunate Son.
>>4152684>how music starts halfway through the videoHuh. That didn't happen when I made it.>and then it ends before the videoYeah. No idea why that happened. Damn odd.>>4152703Thanks anon.>drawingsYes... drawings.... that's totally not Bilbo... exactly...all original art done by my hand... that's the tickret!
>>4152600Okay, I'm going to lather up and then get started on the update. Hopefully I will get it done and proofed before the Sandman roofies me again.
>>4154254https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi_vwyPRxOI waiting for OP to update official theme
>>4154669I won't leave you lost in the cold for much longer, I hope. I just need to finish proofreading what might be my largest update yet.Spellcheck in progresss...
>>4152600>Catch and releaseLooking at both of them thoughtfully for a few moments, you eventually say "No. You were under a curse and I think enough damage has been done by it. Turn around, Pete."You untie his wrists. He rubs them, particularly where the bracelets have left pale tan lines."Thanks sir," Pete says, surprised.You walk over to Gwyneth, untying her as well and helping her off the horse. She simply stands there with her head lowered, silent.Pete looks at her expectantly, and when she doesn't say anything, he speaks up. "We, uh, we both thank you.""Gretchen? You said there's a healing temple downriver that might be able to help Gwyneth. Are you sure you wouldn't mind taking them?""Not at all." The healer smiles. "I have some friends there that I'd like to see again.""I believe heading there is your best course, Pete." You say."Of course!" He replies. "I don't really remember, but I think we've been harassing folk along this road for a while now. It'd probably be wise to leave the area.""Before you go, I had some questions for you. You said earlier that you didn't join the crew to rob innocent travelers. Why did you all join Praksus? And who gave you the relics?"Pete lets out a long breath and rubs the back of his head."Well, that's all the same story..."--->
>>4155024"First of all, none of us joined Praksus. Well, maybe Wade... I never did get the straight of that."Anyway, it was Billy-boy's crew. Always was. Where I grew up, I was always more clever than most. You know, able to figure out solutions to problems 'n such. But Billy-boy? That one has brains to spare."Thing is, he had this girl, Marie. And she died right back there at that mill. A bunch of people got burnt up till there was nothing left. He was broken up over it."But where other folks might move on or stay broken, he decides to fix it. To fix her. Billy-boy is deadset on bringing her back to life.""You mean he plans to truly resurrect her, with necromancy?" Ileska asks, sounding impressed."Yes, ma'am. And he could do it too. He went and became a necromancer, and a good one. But he couldn't find her, her spirit that is."Ileska's brow crinkles the same way it does when you say confusing odd or confusing to her."I don't think I understand. A skilled necromancer should be able to find a spirit, even if they can't establish contact.""That's right ma'am. Be she wasn't in Peace, or Justice, or wandering the world as a ghost. He couldn't find her anywhere. And as smart as he was, he couldn't find an answer. Then he had a plan to get even smarter."He had heard about these weapons, made for some war in some country centuries back. One of the weapons was supposed to make even the smartest person, ten times smarter. But he couldn't get to them."Then Gwyneth here made the mistake of trying to rob his locker at a tavern and got a pile of books and body parts for her trouble. When he found her, he recruited her on the spot."The two of them were on their way to nick some special books or something from some monks and got stopped on the way. Seems Wade and Praksus were highwaymen and got more than they bargained for with Billy-boy."Pete chuckles at a memory."I'm sorry, but you have to know Billy-boy. He convinces you of something like he's being patient with you for not immediately seeing that he was right the whole time."So he gets Wade and Praksus as muscle and then later recruits me. He said it was because he appreciated how cleverly I had rebranded some stolen livestock he saw me selling. But I think he needed someone good with the horses."He offered me one of those powerful magical weapons, but to be honest, I joined because I didn't have much going on and Billy-boy was just so passionate about it. He convinced me."At first, we just ran a few supply raids and lifted papers and such. Then we hit the crypt. Well, Billy-boy called it a crypt. But it was a damn nightmare.. But it worked. We got the weapons."Only the weapons turned out to be jewelry. And the enchantments turned out to curses. It seems whatever city it was that needed defending didn't have an enchanter but they had a witch..."--->
>>4155033Ileska scoffs. "Every time. Every time a curse comes up in one these old stories, it's always a witch! Never a wizard, or warlock, or a shaman...""Sorry ma'am, that's just way I heard it. Anyway, the, uh, the caster couldn't enchant and the enemy wouldn't hold still long enough to curse, so they made up some curses with some powerful upsides."That orb protects you from what you fear most, somehow. But everybody that touches it has their heart torn to pieces a week later. Praksus didn't mind as he just grew another one."Wade snatched up that ring that was supposed to undo any harm that came to you until you took it off. Gwyneth..."Pete looks cautiously over at the quiet girl before continuing."She wanted to try that necklace of illusions. To cast real magic. But it was supposed to mess with your mind. With what's real, I think."I got left with the bracers, but as soon as used them. I was hooked. I've never felt anything like it. I... I'd rather not talk about that actually."Anyway, it was that white crown that Billy-boy wanted. As soon as he put it on, those points seemed to dig right into his brain. His eyes flashed white and he got oddly calm."He just said, 'I have to make a deal.', got on his horse, and left. No goodbye, no words, nothing. Just gone after months of riding together."So we were left in camp with more power than any of us had had before, and Praksus said that he could sniff out more magic for us to find. I just wanted to use the bracers, but the more I used them, the fuzzier things got."I don't remember how we got started obeying him, or pretty much anything else. I'm sorry I never learned the specifics about the relics.""That's okay. Thanks for telling us your story." You say."If that's all, we should probably start moving." Gretchen says. "Thank you both, er, you three that is, for all your help."She starts to hoist up her backpack when Pete turns and takes it from her."Here, let me carry that for you, ma'am.""Thank you, young man. Farewell, Gary and Ileska.""Goodbye and thank you."The two of them start walking down towards the river and Gwyneth silently follows. After several feet, Gwyneth stops.She turns back towards to you and runs up to you and Ileska halting abruptly a couple paces away. She looks up into you eyes for the first that you can remember."Thank you. Not just for letting us go and helping me... Thank you for stopping Praksus. As bad as the curse made us, he was much worse. Thank you."She starts to extend her arm as if to shake your hand, but pulls it back and offers a little wave instead. The she silently turns back and runs to the others, walking close to Pete.--->
>>4155038The ride north to the elven bridge is thankfully uneventful. Sven chose to run behind the horses, saying he was trying to work the stiffness out his body.At one point, he asks Ileska if she thought elves might wash him like the villagers did. She says it's certainly possible.The elves at the inn apparently offer all sorts of services to travelers. But she added that they are a bit odd."I know there's a whole community that lives in the bridge, but travelers only ever see a few certain ones up in the inn. Nobody ever sees the others." She says.You arrive in the evening and even in the waning light, the sight is impressive. Calling it a bridge is misleading. This river is massive, wide as channel.And the "bridge" looks like the Hoover Dam built by beavers that graduated from MIT. Far wider than the road, the top is flanked by three-foot walls. The sides extend straight down to the water's surface and far beyond.If there's any entrance to get "in" the bridge, you can't see it. Every surface of it seems be made from woven wooden logs of different sizes molded into geometrically perfect precision.The surface the horses walk on seems impossibly flat considering that there's no sign of any planing or finishing. It all seems like just raw wood logs.As you start crossing, you find the sturdiness of the bridge remarkable. It feels like the bridge will last forever. Also, you can't detect any magical energy coming it.At the center of the bridge is one building resting on top. Like the rest of the bridge, the inn and attached carriage house seem made from woven logs of various sizes and are, in fact, woven into the bridge itself.Every other feature of the inn is incongruously normal. There are glass windows, horses in the stable, water troughs, and a painted sign you think reads "Widewater Inn". You stable your horses with what you assume is a child stablehand, but once you enter the inn, you see that half the people are about four feet tall.Their ears are pointed, but the elf ears don't point up like orcs or out as Serena's did. The elf ears point backward, almost like they're aerodynamic.Sven immediately wanders off to find if he can get cleaned up.An elven girl in a long poofy dress greets you and walks you to a table.Before you can say anything, Ileska orders two large bowls of their best fish stew with bread."Trust me, Gary, you're going to love it." She says. She seems as excited about the food as you've ever seen her, so you let it go, despite the fact that "fish stew" simply sounds awful.The elf girl smiles a big toothy grin at you both, revealing a mouthful of sharp pointed teeth.What the fuck?--->
>>4155044You quickly glance at Ileska and she doesn't seem surprised by it and all and smiles back at girl who disappears with your order."So, I thought we'd get rooms for the night, and tomorrow we could see what else they could do for you."They might be able to convert that gold lump for you, there is an elven trader here known for making fair deals. Although, I don't know what you'd trade but you seemed interested in that sort of thing before."And, they might have someone you could ask about those relics or whatever else you have questions about. I've heard many elves are knowledgeable about magic, but I haven't met too many.""Do they all have those, I'm, teeth?" You ask quietly, not wanting to offend anyone."Yeah, " Ileska nods. "That's just what elf teeth look like. I think they've learned that many other races find sharp teeth, well, intimidating. Most ones I've met try not to flash them too much. That girl seems sweet. She probably just forgot.""So, they're not dangerous?""Their teeth? Only to fish." Ileska chuckles."Elves are just people Gary, people are always dangerous. But I've never felt anything but safe here."Well, that's one concern settled. You're still thinking about what you want to do tomorrow when your meal arrives. It actually smells amazing.Tasting it, the chunks of fish in the thick stew practically melt in your mouth and are rich with savory flavor. Ileska breaks a piece of bread off the small loaf they brought her and dips it into hers before popping it into her mouth.You watch her eyes roll back into her head and follow her example. The bread somehow makes it even better.She was right. The fish stew was worth it.>What do you want to do tomorrow?>Choose or write in as many as you like, but know that time is a factor, so put them in order of preference.>Have your gold lump smelted or whatever.>Speak with the trader.>Ask about a magical expert>Write-In
>>4155051>Have your gold lump smelted or whatever.>Speak with the trader.We're already travelling with a magical expert
>>4155051>Have your gold lump smelted or whatever.>Speak with the trader.
Rolled 65, 81, 81 = 227 (3d100)>>4155073>>4155111Rolling for Gold, Trader supply, and Sanguinity
>>4155851>SanguinityWhat’s that ? Is it because of the orc matter in the gold ?
>>4155864"You'll see..." The QM replied cryptically.
>>4155073>>4155111>Smelting a hole in your pocketYou sleep very well that night in the comfortable, if a bit small, elven bed. It's honestly the most comfortable you've been since you left Ironshod.You ask to see the elf trader the next morning and are brought to a comfortable room in the back of the with a large table in some chairs. Seated at the table, drinking a sweet-smelling tea from a beautiful teapot is the elven trader. He welcomes you warmly."Hello! Gary and Ileska was it? Happy To meet you! My name is Basil but you may call me Trader. Everyone does. What can I do for you?"You notice that he somehow talks and smiles without ever opening his mouth enough for you to see his teeth. You thank him for his hospitality and compliment the inn. He smiles and says he's glad to meet you. He tells you that he will happily take care of any trading you would like to conduct.The first thing you want to do is take care of that lump of gold necklaces you have. So you pull it out and present it to him and ask if there's something he can do to help convert it to a more manageable state. He takes a moment to study it."Well, we can certainly have it smelted for you into some elven gold coins for a small fee of 17 silver. I'd wager you'll get 36 gold, based on their weight and purity."Considering the amount of gold you're likely to get back 17 silver doesn't seem like it's a very steep price, not that you have another choice, so you agree. With that taken care of, he cheerfully pulls out a list of possible trade items you might be interested in."In addition to these," he says. "There's also a half set of splint mail, just the torso and forearms, that I've been trying to unload for a while that I can let go for 80 gold.It's in perfect condition but it, in all honesty, is used and the previous owner did die while wearing it. But all the damage was done to the lower half of the suit. So you can imagine why I've been having some trouble selling it."Another item I have is a copper horn that's been magically enchanted so that whoever you're thinking of when you blow it, as long as they're not beyond the horizon, will hear its note."It's marvelously useful and they sell rather quickly at only 10 gold. I only mention it because if you don't pick it up now it's likely won't be here when you return."Another item I have is a small box of the silvery metal ore that we acquired a couple of months back. We can't seem to find much use for it and I honestly can't say that it's much better than any other sort of low-grade metal ore."But it's an odd item and it's marked low for just three gold. Of course, it is an awkward box and I'm not sure if you'd be interested in that as you seem to be traveling light.--->
>>4155892"Now did you have any items of your own that you might be interested in selling me?""Well we did have this old converted copper crossbow that we acquired recently along with this curved dagger and this rather large blade. I'm not sure if you have an interest in weapons, though.""Oh, we have interesting in all sorts of items here. Weapons do tend to sell and these do look like interesting items. The crossbow, in particular, seems extremely durable although I think it might take two elves to carry."He chuckles amicably at the thought."Yeah, a friend of ours brought it to us and I personally find it too heavy to use.""Understandable, understandable. Some of our larger guests might find it quite useful, I suppose."Well I can give you about 14 gold for the crossbow, 2 gold for the dagger, and 5 gold for the blade. Is there anything else you'd be interested in?>Current Gold: 60.03 (including the 36)>Sell crossbow for 14>Sell dagger for 2>Sell Praksus blade for 5>Sell [Write-In]>Buy Splint Armor for 80 Gold>Buy Copper Horn of Calling for 10 Gold>Buy box of ore for 3 Gold>Buy Write-In>Ask for a specific item [Write-In]>(The prices are wonky on that list, so use the cheaper, middle column)
>>4155893>>4155893>Sell crossbow for 14>Sell Praksus blade for 5Wanna keep the dagger as a hidden help>Buy Copper Horn of Calling for 10 Gold>Buy (Short Sword, Longbow, Quiver, 60 arrows]What’s the conversion from gold pieces to silver and from silver to copper ?
>>4155893backing >>4156099Except swap out the shortsword for a Maul and add in a light leather armor
>>4156099Adding light leather armor>>4156175Looked for what a Maul is, still prefer the shortsword
>>4156185We already have the trench knife though? Shortsword is redundant.
>>4156190>Shortsword is redundant.not really
>>4156099>What’s the conversion from gold pieces to silver and from silver to copper ?1 gold10 silver100 copper.Gonna need a decision or tie breaker on that weapon.
>>4156969Slippery little trip
>>4156969Thank you random citizen >>4156974Roll a d2 since no one else appeared
>>4156969>gonna need a tiebreakerToo bad.Your own stupid rules prevent me from voting.
>>4157115That rule has been suspended for a while now...in Jello...lime flavored, if you're curious.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>41571141. Shortsword2. Maul3. Darth Maul's Shortsword
>>4157544Well, time for Poppy larping
>>4156099>>4156175>>4157544>Gotta catch the maul.You decide to sell the crossbow and Praksus' blade. Then you buy the Copper Horn of Calling, an elven maul, a quality yew longbow, a cheap brown leather quiver, and 60 arrows that seem very well made from cheap feathers and wood.Examining the maul, you admire the well crafted and reinforced long wooden haft. The simply forged heavy head of lead is firmly secured by pin and leather strapping. You spend an extra copper on a simple leather loop to hang it from. It swings a bit like a sledgehammer.Afterward, you are left with 13 gold, 17 silver, and 15 copper.Storing your jacket you try on your leather armor and are pleasantly surprised by how well it fits.You show off your new purchases to Ileska. She says that you certainly seem more protected, but with a frown she says that you also look rougher, more dangerous."Really?" You say, somewhat excited.She giggles and shakes her head."Nevermind, Gary. That goofy smile cancels the effect."After checking on the horses, you spend a few minutes thanking the elves for their hospitality while Ileska is trying to talk you into staying for lunch.A walking scarecrow made of canvas and straw, bearing a stitched up mouth and two big bright blue buttons for eyes, and wearing a cheap leather cloak and wooded sandles ambles up to you and waves.What the f- oh, wait..."Hi Sven. You are looking good, I guess.""Hi Target! This is the best vessel yet! I found several rings of gold in my skull and traded them for cleaning and clothes. I am 'dashing'!""I think you look great, Sven." Ileska compliments.--->
>>4158034Suddenly, you hear a loud noise outside. You look out the window and see an elf running north up the bridge. He looks very scared. He runs into the inn, and then he stops abruptly, panting. His hands are bloody and his clothes torn. The trader walks towards the elf and asks him what is going on. He says that a group of hurks has been following the road north since last night. They have killed many humans, and they are approaching the bridge. He just barely got away.The trader and the other elves seem very surprised by it all. The trader turns to everyone and says that the hurks might be coming from the mountains. They had apparently come from mountains before, although then they had approached from the north. So it isn't certain that these are the same tribe or not, but they were heading this way anyway. Ileska asks if the hurk have been attacking people here as well.The trader shakes his head. He says that they haven't for years. But they know that there's a tribe of tribe deep in the mountains. He doesn't know, but he estimates that there are more than a thousand of them. The trader explains that the only good thing is that they aren't organized like they used to be, long ago. When they attacked a few years back, they'd just attack indiscriminately and without warning, but then break ranks and flee if strongly resisted."We also recently encountered some of them where they shouldn't be any." Ileska mentions. "Do you think it could be related?"The trader looks at you and nods. He tells the other elves to get everyone inside and lock the doors. He then goes outside to speak with you alone. You briefly explain everything that happened with the orcs in the Dark Forest to the trader. He seems to think for a moment and then speaks quickly."I have no way of knowing if these different hurk attacks are related or not. If they are, then they may be searching for you."If that's the case, you should either flee north or remain here, under our protection. We may not look it, but we are very well defended here."But I don't know how long fighting them off will take. And once they're here, there might not be an opportunity to run."Then, of course, if someone is organizing them, they could also be flushing you out so you run north. But I would bet a marlin that isn't the case."It's your decision, but you must make it now.>Choose one:>Fight! Head south and help the elves stop this orc attack! >Stay and hunker down in the inn.>Stay and insist on helping fight to defend the inn.>Run Away!: Head north as fast as you can.>Write-In
I caught the sandals typo then forgot to change it, damn it.
>>4158035>Stay and insist on helping fight to defend the inn.Time to train our aim>>4158039>I caught the sandals typo then forgot to change it, damn it.Who’s dat ?
>>4158078>Who’s dat ?Sven is wearing wooden sandals, not "sandles".I'm working on improving on my proofreading.
>>4158124KEK, it seems we’re getting used to it and my brain is auto correcting before I notice
>>4158035>Stay and insist on helping fight to defend the inn.Everyone knows the innkeepers are always level 10 or higher
>>4158078>>4158658>A bridge over the river wideYou decide to stay behind to help defend the inn. You tell Ileska and Sven that you don't feel right leaving the elves to deal with this and they immediately agree with you. The trader thanks you, but insists that you stay inside the inn, no matter what.Sven chooses to stay in the main lobby of the inn, as a last line of defense for the few remaining guests holed up in the kitchen. Meanwhile, you choose to camp out in a room on the second floor with a southern facing window.Ileska tells you to stay alert and that she'll come back after running a small errand. You agree and she heads off downstairs.The orc horde approaches the bridge. You watch from the window as they begin to charge across the wooden surface of the bridge, only to stop as the logs pop up as they step on them, blocking the way. The orcs chop and smash through the logs immediately. As soon as one log falls, another is quickly put up to block their path. The orcs seem to be getting tired and run back to the south end of the bridge.After a few minutes, they charge forward again carrying thick logs and smash through the log barrier and race along the bridge towards the inn.You watch as the orc horde charges towards the inn. You don't think about anything else except defending yourself and the others. You pull out your bow and nock an arrow for when they get close.One bald orc, wearing a purple fetish around it's its, charges in front of the rest, brandishing a mean-looking ax.From your cover behind the windowsill, you wait for the right moment to shoot.When the orc horde gets within what you think is your range, you prepare to fire your shot...--->
>>4159261Suddenly, the orc has five arrows sticking out from its body from different directions. Blinking, you check and you still haven't released your nocked arrow. The orc falls down dead. The orcs look around but neither they nor you, can see any other archers.The horde halts gathered in a group on the bridge. Three orcs step forward.The orc on the left is holding a human woman in a dirty, tattered dress bound by her hands. The orc on the right is holding a short human man who looks beaten and bloodied and is nearly unconscious.The orc in the center has a red scarf tied around his waist and is gripping a large battle-ax in both hands. He bellows out an ultimatum loud enough for all to hear:"We aren't here for elf blood! Give us the human princeling now or we will slaughter you all and choke your river with your dead!"You hear the trader's voice, unnaturally loud, cry out."We don't have who you are looking for!"The orc grins an awful, tusked smile."Too bad..."The flanking orcs pull out daggers and the one on the right stabs the man in the gut. Both then hold the daggers to the throats of their captives."What say you now?" The orc bellows with a chuckle.>What do you do?>Fire arrow at left orc (Roll 1d100-20)>Fire arrow at center orc (Roll 1d100-30)>Fire arrow at right orc (Roll 1d100-35)>Magic [Write-In]>Item [Write-In]>Give yourself up and hope you are who they are looking for.>Run Away!: [Error 404: Option not found]>Passively wait for the elves to make the next move. You know, like any good NPC would.>Write-InI didn't forget to roll this time. Variable difficulties dependent on choice mean I'll roll after the vote and oppose all rolls if a roll vote wins.
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4159264>Fire arrow at left orc (Roll 1d100-20)Let's save magic for when they're close
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4159264Fire two arrows at once >Magic: “seek the heads of the hostage takers”
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4159264Backing >>4159474but with a better rollfire at the sky if we can't talk fast enough, it'll help avoid the hostages too
Rolled 59 + 20 (1d100 + 20)>>4159267>>4159474>>4159502Okay, depending on this goes, I might need a horde of rolls here soon.
>>4159718dammit, if it weren't for the bonus, but a good shot nonetheless
Rolled 11, 87, 72, 37, 10, 32, 42, 75, 39, 91, 28, 52, 42, 13, 86, 36, 96, 55, 43, 16 = 963 (20d100)Roll 20d100G/I/S/H/T/G/I/S/H/T/OOOOOOOOOO
Rolled 46, 17, 34, 44, 91, 30, 19, 21, 11, 6, 20, 56, 55, 71, 11, 36, 48, 34, 5, 8 = 663 (20d100)>>4159727who is H and T ?
Rolled 72, 6, 47, 73, 67, 55, 14, 80, 49, 66, 12, 80, 35, 15, 85, 97, 41, 19, 6, 21 = 940 (20d100)>>4159727
Rolled 55, 6, 24, 49, 66, 46, 10, 36, 54, 66, 76, 92, 38, 53, 99, 46, 24, 74, 74, 75 = 1063 (20d100)>>4159727whoo orc slaughter
Closing rolling and interpreting the results.The synchrony in this quest the the rolls is downright creepy.For example:Ileska's 1st DC was 87, you rolled 17/6/6Last orc's first DC was 91, you rolled 6/66/66.
>>4160060wait, it's it 28 ? isn't 91 T second dc ?
>>4160070I broke it up by round.G 11, 46/72/55I 87, 17/6/6S 72, 34/47/24H 37, 44/73/49T 10, 91/67/6632, 30/55/4642, 19/14/1075, 31/80/3639, 11/49/5491, 6/66/66G 28, 20/12/76I 52, 56/80/92S 42, 55/35/38H 13, 71/15/53T 86,11/85/9936, 36/97/4696, 48/41/2455, 34/19/7443, 5/6/7416, 8/21/75Let me know if you spot a transcription error
>>4160127Oh, that makes sense now. Glad you explained.
>>4159752>>4159732>>4159730>Fighting without reservation.You line up a shot to take out the closer orc, the one on the left holding the woman. Then an idea occurs to you. You take out a second arrow and knock both, each one pointing in the air above the two orcs on either side. Your plan is to shoot the arrows above them and then use magic to guide them directly to their targets simultaneously. It's a good plan.Wand in hand, you pull back on the bowstring and release the arrows. Fuck!They are already arcing far too low and are going to hit the man in the woman.Quickly, you cast your spell on the arrows as fast as you can: "Seek the heads of the hostage-takers!"The end of the spell is rushed out in an awkward blurt, but it works. The arrows change their arc just in time to avoid the hostages. The left orc flails as your arrow sinks into his eye and he falls backward, dead.The orc on the right winces as the arrow grazes his skull and leaves a deep gash. A look of fury flashes across his face. He sneers and moves his blade-Only to stop abruptly as an arrow appears in each of his eyes. He collapses as well. Standing next to the freshly made corpses, the red scarfed orc blocks several arrows with the flat of his battle-ax.He lets out a tremendous roar and the rest of the orcs follow suit as they charge towards the inn.Not wasting any time with magic, you fire a shot at one of the closest orcs who looks to be preparing to throw something through the lower windows. Your arrow strikes him in the chest and he goes down at once.Another orc approaches the lower windows and, as you ready a shot, an arrow from below you severs his throat with such power that his head nearly flies off in a fountain of gore.Somewhere, you hear Ileska scream and the sound of a window downstairs being smashed.Most of the remaining orcs you can see are being felled by a rainstorm of arrows, but several bearing shields are getting through.One orc gets close to the inn. You can't see much of him because his shield is blocking your view of everything but his feet.So you shoot him in the damn foot.Your arrow pins his foot to the ground and he yells as he drops his shield to pull it out. Two more arrows to his head are his reward.Another orc is approaching the inn from an angle and is peppered with powerful shots from below you. Each one lands in the outer edge of his arms or legs.Staggering but unrelenting, the orc drops his weapon and climbs in a window downstairs. There sounds of fighting below.--->
>>4160630Scanning for any more targets, you don't see any, just dead and dying orcs. Securing your bow, you pick up your maul and race down the stairs.You hear sounds of struggle from a dining room to your left, clear battle sounds and Sven's voice coming from the kitchen, and the clashing of metal on metal accompanied by the trader's yell coming from the front of the inn.>What will you do?>Investigate the struggle in the dining room.>Come to the aid of the trader at the front of the inn.>Join the battle with Sven>Write-InYou've gained the trait [Natural Born Archer]!You gain +10 to any archery rolls, whynot?
>>4160632>Investigate the struggle in the dining room.Seems more worrying >You've gained the trait [Natural Born Archer]!>You gain +10 to any archery rolls, whynot?Das right
>>4160632>Investigate the struggle in the dining room.Time to channel MC Hammer
>>4160632Can we tell where Illeska’s scream came from? If so let’s go help her.
>>4161137>Time to channel MC HammerDue to an artifact of how my mind works, it took me far too long to make the connection of exactly what you meant by this.
>>4161253>Can we tell where Illeska’s scream came from? If so let’s go help her.There is a chance that it came from the kitchen, but you'd guess that it came from the dining room.Closing the vote.
>>4161253>>4161137>>4160646>Here Comes the Hammer You’re not sure, but you think Ileska’s scream came from the dining room that the sounds of struggle are coming from. You charge into the room with your maul in your hands, taking the scene in with a glance.The orc that climbed through the window is standing in the far end of the room, still bleeding from the many arrow wounds on his arms and legs. He is grappling with a familiar silver-haired witch in red robes.He has a firm grip on each of her arms and is leaning forward, putting his considerable weight into trying to pin her down to the floor. The fact that Ileska is still standing shows remarkable strength, but she is nearly kneeling and one leg is ready to buckle.Several chairs and a table nearby have been knocked over. You notice a cheap leather quiver similar to yours hanging from her back and an odd, silver bow lying on the floor several feet away. The bow is half the size of yours and seems to be finely crafted and entirely metal.Ileska looks up at you as you rush in and calls out “Gary! Help get this lummox off of me!”>Hammertime: Crush the orc’s undefended skull with your maul while his arms are busy.> U Can’t Touch This: Smash the orc’s shoulder to break his grip on Ileska.>2 Legit 2 Quit: Throw your body against the orc to tackle him to the ground.>Pray: Cast some magic [Write-In]>Write-In
Short update due to quick action.No rolls needed on this as the orc is occupied.Hopefully we can get some quick votes and I can respond with more action throughout the day, dog-willing.
>>4161338Stop>Hammertime: Crush the orc’s undefended skull with your maul while his arms are busy.
>>4161338>He is grappling with a familiar silver-haired witch in red robes.Ugly bastard is not allowed in this server sir but unfortunately is the future of most of us>>4161345>Hopefully we can get some quick votes and I can respond with more action throughout the day, dog-willing.Hopefully, I only like seeing boys getting pinned by mature women, not the other way around
>>4161383Similar to how most people think they are above average intelligence (meaning that some people of below average intelligence necessarily believe they are smarter than they are), many people falsely believe that they are less attractive than average. Especially women. This is particularly faulty reasoning because attractiveness is subjective. Being certain of how how others internally view you is a common delusion.In short, ugly bastardism is in the eye of the beholder. This orc has magnificent tusks.
>>4161338>Hammertime: Crush the orc’s undefended skull with your maul while his arms are busy.
>>4161458ok. now take a sip every time you forget your trip and you'll become immune to corona
>>4161471I didn't forget it, the post started off entirely unrelated to the quest so I intentionally left it off.But then I added that bit on the end....and forgot to add my trip. Fuck.At this rate, you could use my blood as hand sanitizer.
>>4161542holy moly, 95% ? Shorty is an Ifrit confirmed
>>4161547Ifrit... djinn... willingly bound to the material world in a tangible form to experience physical interaction and sensation...You aren't really wrong, there.I'm a genie in a bottle and your two votes rub me the right way for a quick update. Then I have to run a dog and then operate a motorized vehicle to enter a large crowd of people.I'm sure I'll be fine.
>>4161338>Hammertime: Crush the orc’s undefended skull with your maul while his arms are busy.hahaha yesYESCRUSH HIS SKULL LIKE AN EGG
>>4161568>Then I have to run a dog and then operate a motorized vehicle to enter a large crowd of people.That escalated quickly
>>4161580>>4161461>>4161360>Head bangingYou act quickly and decisively. Raising your maul, you charge forward and bring the weapon down on the orc’s skull as hard as you can.The beastman’s head cracks open, splattering his blood across Ileska as she screams and shoves his limp corpse to side where it falls in a loud thump.“By the Bright Lady Gary!” She yells in frustration.“If I wanted him dead, I could have killed him with my bow outside! I want to talk to one of them this time!”Surprised, you almost apologize for saving her, but instead hold your tongue and silently watch her wipe the blood from her face with a cloth with shaking hands.“…but thank you for coming to help me.” She says, offering a contrite smile. Her head darts up as a woman’s scream calls out from across the inn. Ileska dips to grab her bow as you both run to the main room of the inn.The scream definitely came from the kitchen, but as you move towards the battle still going on there, you hear the sound of doors smashing at the front entrance of the inn where the trader’s voice came from before.>Rush to secure the front entrance>Join the battle in the kitchen>Magic [Write-In]>Write-In
>>4161597Small point of clarification: I plan to exit the vehicle before entering the large crowd of people.We'll see how it goes.
>>4161630>“If I wanted him dead, I could have killed him with my bow outside! I want to talk to one of them this time!”Next time, at least sever his members so you don't end up as doujinshi material, woman>Join the battle in the kitchenSince Sven was there, we have an opportunity to capture an orc>>4161636Ok, remember to use a mask and lots of alcohol 70%
>>4161630Really, she wanted to chat with one mid battle?I'm sure we'll be able to find a survivor after we win, but right now lives are at stake, we don't have time for an interrogation.>Rush to secure the front entrance
>>4161630>rush to secure the front entrance
>>4161630>>Join the battle in the kitchen
>>4161656>Kitchen>Since Sven was there, we have an opportunity to capture an orc1.2>>4161657>Front1.0>>4161695>Front1.0>>4161737>Kitchen1.0Kitchen wins, 2.2 to 2.0.Closing vote and writing update.
>>4162150ooof wow write in weight OP
>>4162156Yup, gotta keep an eye for little clues
Rolled 75, 58, 8, 86, 88, 26, 70, 8, 47 = 466 (9d100)>>4161656>>4161657>>4161695>>4161737>Too Many CooksYou know that someone needs help in the kitchen, so you rush towards the sounds of the battle. When the two of you enter the room, you immediately see Sven off to the left grappling and slapping an orc in the face.He may not be damaging the orc, but he is doing a great job of distracting him. In the center of the room, an orc with an ax and shield is cornering three people against a wall. There are an elf man and human woman swinging badly damaged stools, trying to fend off the orc. Behind them is the elf waitress that served you last night, her tiny body is cowering on the floor by the wall, clutching her bloody arm to her chest.To the right, a large human man with a shaggy black beard and a bad gash on his arm is fighting off a third orc with a metal pot in each hand, swinging them hard. The orc is handily fending the blows from the pots with a shield and ax. The man looks like he is getting tired.The center orc looks back as you enter, sneers, and charges into the human woman with his shield, knocking her to the ground and turning on the elf man.Ileska is readying a shot at the center orc with her bow, but if the orcs charge you two, she won’t get off more than one shot.>What do you do? Roll 9d100>Attack the left orc and free up Sven to help.>Attack the center orc before he can hurt anyone else.>Attack the right orc and help the man take him down.>Magic [Write-In]>Write-InG/I/S/EM/HF/HM/LO/CO/RO
>>4162156>>4162162Yep.This is actually the first time it was relevant.
Rolled 69, 98, 39, 26, 30, 15, 26, 12, 93 = 408 (9d100)>>4162205>Attack the center orc before he can hurt anyone else.>Magic [Write-In]Blind center and right orc
>>4162205>Attack the center orc before he can hurt anyone else.
>>4162245You forgot your roll bruh
>>4162234>98I have actually accounted for the fact Ileska almost always rolls well.
>>4162297She’s an experienced witch after all.
>>4162303I literally just now made this connection:>"Initially, the Scarlet Witch had the ability to manipulate probability"
Rolled 4, 17, 87, 7, 88, 96, 10, 17, 46 = 372 (9d100)>>4162205>>4162273Indeed I did
Closing the vote/roll.
Rolled 92, 26, 19, 31, 62, 79, 16 = 325 (7d100)>>4162649>>4162245>>4162234>3 Stooges fightThe orc struggling with Sven has managed to slip an arm free but is still so distracted that he simply uses it to try pulling Sven off of him. Sven just keeps slapping his gloved skeletal hands against the tusked face.Sven seems to be distracting his orc pretty well, so you need to halt the other two. You pull out your wand and cast "Blind." on the center and right orc.The right orc immediately drops his shield to grab the man he's fighting and starts furiously hacking blindly with the ax in his other hand. The man is able to block the blows with the pots but won't be able to keep it up for long.Fortunately, Ileska sends an arrow powerfully into the orcs lower back, dropping him to his knees. The man quickly starts beating him unconscious with the pots.The center orc, once blinded, slams forward with his shield, knocking the elf man into the wall where he crumbles to the floor. The orc turns to your position, warily slashing the air with his ax, expecting your attack.But you had held back a moment to secure your wand. Behind him, the human woman struggles to her feet.With an audible grunt you heft your heavy weapon and spring forward to slam it against his head.The resounding clang as your blow bounces off his hastily raised shield reverberates through the air as your arms vibrate as well.The sinister beastman chuckles as he swings his ax at you.>Choose one and roll 7d100>Duck!: Dodge the attack and move back.>Block!: Block the swing of the ax with your maul.>Counterattack!: Try to hit him before his blow strikes.>Pull out your wand and cast some Magic [Write-In]>Write-InG/I/S/HF/HM/O/O
Rolled 16, 78, 38, 2, 58, 19, 100 = 311 (7d100)>>4162708>Counterattack!: Try to hit him before his blow strikes.
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4162716Rolling and voting are still open.I'm just rolling for that crit.
Rolled 100, 96, 25, 79, 2, 31, 28 = 361 (7d100)>>4162708>Block!: Block the swing of the ax with your maul.can't beat the HAMMER
Rolled 38, 94, 44, 92, 61, 72, 61 = 462 (7d100)>>4162708>Counterattack!: Try to hit him before his blow strikes.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4163053>can't beat the HAMMERApparently fucking not.Rolling crit again.
>>4163116Such a lust for forgetting. WHOOOOOO ?
>>4163128>Such a lust for forgetting.You have no idea how lustily forgetful I can be.>WHOOOOOO ?You're silly.You know perfectly well Who.https://youtu.be/bdTELokKfCk
>>4163162I kek’d, but it was a reference to this https://youtu.be/0xeGE_5kSI0
>>4163096>>4163053>>4162716>Making an entranceThe beastman’s ax swings hard at your skull. You counterattack as fast and as hard as possible.Your blow smacks his ax and it flies back, the flat end smashing his face, turning his pig nose into a bloody smear across his face. You swing your maul back in the other direction, crushing his arm and causing him to drop his weapon.The human woman behind him strikes him from behind with the remains of the stool. His eyes roll into the back of his head and he collapses. She leans against the wall, panting.The human man finishes beating the unconscious orc, leaving him gasping ragged choking breaths. He drops the pots and staggers over to hold the woman.The orc wrestling with Sven has finally managed to extract himself and is kicking and striking Sven away when Ilseka slips her hands onto his face, murmurs something, and he collapses asleep. Silence falls across the kitchen. There is a loud crash in the main room of the inn. Ileska turns to the others and shouts “Tie this one up! Don’t kill him! Sven? Follow us when it’s done.”The human man nods at Ileska, still holding the woman.”Yes. Ileska!” Sven says as he is pulling himself together.You and Ileska run out into the main room and see the trader lying in a bloody pile in the center of the room, gasping and still clutching a small, elven sword. At the front of the room, the orc with the red scarf tied around his waist and massive battleax. Two dead orcs lie on the ground behind him.He strides into the room chuckling.“Is that you, little princeling? This is going to be easy. Come easy now and I’ll let your whore live. …or not. Either way, you’re coming with me.”>Choose one and roll 4d100>Attack!: Charge him with your maul.>Stand your ground: Wait for him to make the first move.>Check on the trader>Magic [Write-In]>Write-InG/I/T/O
Rolled 9, 4, 39, 77 = 129 (4d100)>>4163431>MagicBlind the orc
>>4163447thankfully there's no rolls to oppose mine
Rolled 74, 85, 7, 21 = 187 (4d100)>>4163431>MagicThrow out a knife and nutshot itThrow out pic related after the knife.
Rolled 8, 30, 62, 39 = 139 (4d100)>>4163431>>4163453Damn it.I think that time I might've put a typo in the dice or something.
Rolled 71, 86, 12, 41 = 210 (4d100)>>4163447>>4163458>Ensorcel Dysfunction DisorderNot wasting time with this orc, you immediately cast "Blind."You feel something strange happen with the magical energy of the spell. It drains from you as normal. It doesn't fizzle. But the spell doesn't resolve or take effect.It is like the magic just slips over him and leaves him untouched.What the fuck?Ileska also doesn't waste any time and fires an arrow straight at his chest. He raises his battle-ax and blocks the arrow, leaving his lower body undefended.You see another shot and take it. You chuck your knife at him and call out "Nutshot!"Your blade zips along straight at his fur loincloth.He just barely lowers his ax in time to knock the knife off-course, cutting a deep gash on his inner thigh. Narrowing his eyes at you, he roars and charges directly at you both. Ileska rolls to the right, raising her bow as she stands.What action do you take?>Choose one and roll 4d100>Dive!: Dodge the attack by rolling left, the opposite direction as Ileska did.>Block!: He is totally telegraphing his attack, you know you can bring your maul up to block it.>Attack!: Hit him somehow before he reaches you [Tell me how]>Magic [Write-In]>Write-In
Rolled 38, 43, 59, 32 = 172 (4d100)>>4164458>Dive!: Dodge the attack by rolling left, the opposite direction as Ileska did.ok, either the red scarf fucks with magic or it's his passive ability
Well, a handful of new quests must have pushed us to page 11 overnight.I will close voting and rolling and post a new thread no earlier than 0300 UTC (Uranus Timic Calendar).Tomorrow at the latest.
Also, I have just noticed a reoccurring theme of red fabric in this quest. And aside from Gwyneth's to cover up her red gem that was chosen because she was so violent, none of the occurrences were intentional and some were randomly generated.I don't know what this means.
>>4164458>Dive!: Dodge the attack by rolling left, the opposite direction as Ileska did.Dark Souls taught us dodge rolls are OP
>>4165100ok, waiting warmly>>4165107
>>4165128roll my dude, roll
Rolled 13, 79, 9, 77 = 178 (4d100)>>4165135fuck I always forget