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File: DragonQuest.jpg (158 KB, 640x440)
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Character Sheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU/edit

Twitter: QuestingQM

Last time on European Dragon Quest, we went into another dimension, lost Claw, the Autistic Wolf Sidekick, and as Claw we made an account called KKKlaw_69 (also referencing his newfound lust for women... Guess he was projecting on Renexizious.) for World of Reichscraft, made an Italian Engineer, saved the day, and creeped people out with our powers of Autism. Then we switched to Ren, made Skaven have an orgy after a natural twenty, attracted Slaanesh which we didn't fucking want a part of, and pretty much found dwarves, and decided to help them.

And we also were forcibly shapeshifted to a half-dragon about human-sized. And are fighting an Ork Warboss.

"Oi, ya git! Get up an' fight!"

"Gladly." You slowly get up from the ground, and brush off your royal suit, adorned with the coat of arms of Sweden.

Oh, and you were also knocked down, and disarmed. Shit.

Actions.

>FIGHT WITH YOUR FISTICUFFS!
>Flee!
>You don't have to fight fair... Use your breath attack and try to grab your weapon! (Body, HARD)
>Grab a discarded weapon... Maybe you might get lucky!
>Well, rush in and try to grab your weapon! (Agility, HARD, Risky)
>>
Bumping for interest.
>>
>>393723
Sorry senpai, didn't see it at first.

Obviously fight with fists.
>>
>>393723
>>FIGHT WITH YOUR FISTICUFFS!

Sorry didn't see my favourite thread Op
>>
Fisticuffs wins!

The ork laughs at you.

"Ya' ain't using yer' weapon... I like that, humie! Now, fight like an' Ork, or yer' gonna get krumped!"[/grren]

He yells and charges at you!

Actions.

>Evade! EVADE! (Agility)
>Run!
>Taunt him, he can't hit a fly with his accuracy! (Charisma)
>Try to counter-charge! (Body, HARD)
>Cast a spell! (Intelligence)
>...Summon Smaug to distract him. (Summoning)
>Write-In
>>
>>393813
>>Taunt him, he can't hit a fly with his accuracy! (Charisma)
Confusion pheromone too
>>
>>393813
>Cast a spell! (Intelligence)
Death bolt the fucker
>>
Alright, gonna wait ten more minutes.
>>
>>393813
>Evade! EVADE! (Agility)
Juke and dip out of his charge.
>>
>>393813
>Countercharge the fucker we have high body.
>>
>>393855
>Countercharge
Fuck it, it's not worth the wait.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+15.
>>
Rolled 15 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>393877
Whump!
>>
Rolled 7 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>393877
Can we invent smores+orcs - smorcs?
>>
>>393881
15+15=30
vs

5+9=14

Great Success!

You charge into him, narrowly avoiding his blade and send him reeling back, just enough to grant you some breathing room. The Orks around you start bashing their axes into the ground, making a sound similar to that of a war drum. That's when you see, not too far in the distance, the vampire and your brother running to help you... A sudden volley of cannon fire around you sends ork giblets all over, and one unfortunate goblin is sent flying into the Ork Warboss.

"Oi! Take care of those gits up there!"

He tosses the goblin back, and you look towards Richard and the Carstein Vampire, who are about to engage the circle in combat.

Actions.

>Tell them to head back! You've got this.
>Hell yeah, let's do this!
>Help them out, breathe something in their general direction.
>...Help them out with a little necromancy on those dead Orks. (Necromancy)
>Write-In
>>
>>393915
>Hell yeah, let's do this!
>>
>>393915
>Hell yeah, let's do this!
>>
You see them start fighting the Orks, catching them by surprise...

Roll me a 2d20+4 for how effective they are.
>>
>>393915
>>...Help them out with a little necromancy on those dead Orks. (Necromancy)
>>
Rolled 20, 5 + 4 = 29 (2d20 + 4)

>>393949
Kicking pansies and taking loose teeth.
>>
Rolled 8, 8 + 4 = 20 (2d20 + 4)

>>393949
>>
20+4=24
Critical Success!

8+2=10
Fizzle!

Richard gives a yell and plunges straight into the Ork lines, smashing through. His sword is more or less an extension of himself, and he hits with devastation... Orks commonly find themselves thrown around and maimed by him, as he carves a bloody swathe through their circle. However, the Vampire seems to try to cast a spell, and dust appears in front of her.

The Orkish Line has been confused by this, and is trying to fight Richard, who's just making a slow but steady path towards you.

Actions.

>Take this distraction as a time to strike against the Ork Warboss... Try to jump on him! (Agility)
>Charge the Ork again! (Strength)
>Cast a spell at the Ork! (Intelligence)
>Summon Smaug to strike at the downed Ork! (Summoning)
>Write-In
>>
>>393983
>>Charge the Ork again! (Strength)
>>
>>393983
>>Charge the Ork again! (Strength)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+15
>>
>>393983
>>Charge the Ork again! (Strength)
>>
Rolled 9 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>394025
>>
Rolled 5 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>394025
>>
>>394037
Well, fortunately our insane Body bonus gives this roll a 75% chance to work.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

Not if I roll a nat one :^)
>>
>>394084
FUCK
>>
File: r-retard.gif (1.83 MB, 360x240)
1.83 MB
1.83 MB GIF
>>394084
Holy shit Cass you rolled the opposite
>>
>>394084
"Look at me you grots. I am the boss now."
>>
>>394084

You charge the Ork, sending it virtually flying towards a nearby group of Orks, knocking them all down. The Ork gets up slowly, disoriented.

"Y-You hit like a zogging pansy elf, humie!" He gets up, slowly.

Actions.

>The fuck you just say about me, you little bitch?
>Your rage is beyond mortal compreshension. Set him on fire, that will show the bastard for calling you an elf.
>Ignore it, you have clearly bested him. Just hit him and knock him out.
>Return an insult back. (Charisma)
>I'm the Warboss now, you got that? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>Release a pheromone.
>Write-In
>>
>>394111
>>The fuck you just say about me, you little bitch?
>>
>>394111
>>The fuck you just say about me, you little bitch?
>>Your rage is beyond mortal compreshension. Set him on fire, that will show the bastard for calling you an elf.
>>
>>394111
>>The fuck you just say about me, you little bitch?
Ill have you know I have over 300 confirmed kills on elves. I have been trained in dragon warfare an...
>>
>>394111
>The fuck you just say about me, you little bitch?
>Your rage is beyond mortal compreshension. Set him on fire, that will show the bastard for calling you an elf.

This one is for after we kill the warboss.
>I'm the Warboss now, you got that? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>>
>>394125
>Not doing the entire thing
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Dragon Ops, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Elves, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in dragon warfare and I have the top sniper in the world in my armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, although it has been seen on others, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of dragons across the Chaos Wastes and your family is being shot right now so you better prepare for the storm, git. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, you little fucking Shrek. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of my FUCKING DRAGON BODY and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Old World and the New, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will breathe fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I'm the goddamned Emperor of Fucking Sweden, and I’ve been involved in numerous stumpings on the Elven Dominion, and I have over 3000 confirmed kills. I am trained in dragon warfare and I’m the top dragon in the entire Swedish Empire. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this universe, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over a duel? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am preparing to set your ass on fire AND FREEZE IT! Your little shitty tribe is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, you Orkish shit-for-brains. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare claws. Not only am I extensively trained in kidnapping and seducing damsels, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Swedish Military Forces and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the universe, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, you fucking Orkish ugly son of a bitch."

You breathe fire on him, and make sure to freeze him as the fire hits him. He's not only burning alive, but frozen alive. He had it coming.

"...Is da' humie da Warboss now?" One Ork says.
Another Ork hits him over the head, and yells proudly...

"I'm da' Warboss now!" And is also hit over the head. A few more pretenders rise up and start getting hit over the head as well... And eventually they start infighting.

Actions.

>...Clearly, you are the new warboss! (Charisma, HARD)
>Release a pheromone?
>...See if you can't shape-shift now.
>...Yeah, just try to contain Richard. He's still having a go at it, right?
>Write-In
>>
>>394158
>you little fucking Shrek
Jesus
I haven't Laughed this much in a while
>>
>>394169
>>...Clearly, you are the new warboss! (Charisma, HARD)
>>Release a pheromone?
Loyalty
>>
>>394169
>>394158
Kek, beat you to it.

>...Clearly, you are the new warboss! (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>394169
>...Clearly, you are the new warboss! (Charisma, HARD)

>Maim anyone who disagrees
>>
>>394175
seconding
>>
Roll me a 2d20+7
>>
Rolled 9, 6 + 7 = 22 (2d20 + 7)

>>394201
>>
Rolled 8, 5 + 7 = 20 (2d20 + 7)

>>394201
>>
Rolled 16, 3 + 7 = 26 (2d20 + 7)

>>394201
>>
Rolled 3, 4 + 7 = 14 (2d20 + 7)

>>394201
>>
>>394215
>>394224
>>394232

The good thing about being a dragon is that we can always fall back on mass murder.
>>
16+7=23

Borderline Success

6+7=13
Failure!

You attempt to release your pheromones. It seems they have no effect on the Orks.

"It is clear I am the warboss!"

Some of the Orks scratch their head.

"But ye' ain't an ork!"
"Stay out of this, ya' git!"
"Ya' ain't big enough to be a warboss!"

"Who the fuck said that?"

No one raises their hand.

"Wait, you killed the Warboss... Shouldn't we krump you?"

Actions.

>...No hard feelings?
>You are obviously a Ork! Just... Uh. Well, I might not smell you like cretins... But I can hit things twice as hard! (Charisma, HARD)
>Kill a random Ork for saying you aren't big enough. How dare him!
>...Attempt to shapeshift.
>Is Richard still going? Probably should look a little further out.
>Breathe fire into the crowd. Obviously they aren't true Orks if they won't follow you.
>Write-In
>>
>>394260
>>...Attempt to shapeshift.
WE ORK NOW
>>
>>394260
>>Kill a random Ork for saying you aren't big enough. How dare him!
>Is Richard still going? Probably should look a little further out.
Let's do a Petrov.
>>
>>394262
You can't shape shift into an Ork. That's impossible for you right now.
>>
>>394260
>...Attempt to shapeshift.
Into half dragon.
>Kill a random Ork for saying you aren't big enough. How dare him!
>>
>>394260
>Knock out that Ork that raised his hand. Only we do the stomping here.
>>
You randomly select an Ork, and freeze him solid. The Orks back away, and realize that pissing you off might not be the best idea... However, none of them actually... Well, think you are the Warboss yet.

You also decide to look for Richard... Who's still cutting a path through the Orks. Though a little... Well, he shows no signs of slowing down at all. You even see him take a hit from an Ork's axe and keep on fighting in his plate armor.

You also attempt to shapeshift... And for some reason, you can't. Maybe that spell didn't wear off yet.

Actions.

>You are obviously a Ork. Why else would you of killed that uncivilized Ork a few seconds ago? (Charisma, HARD)
>Purge the Orks. What the hell would you do with them anyways?
>...You know... The Dwarfs have loot... Why don't we just loot the Dwarfs just a little? (Charisma)
>Write-In

>>394280
You are human-sized Half-Dragon right now.
>>
>>394309
>Purge the Orks. What the hell would you do with them anyways?
>>
>>394309
>Purge the Orks. What the hell would you do with them anyways?

Conquering the dwarves beats looting them.
>>
>>394309
>>Purge the Orks. What the hell would you do with them anyways?
>>
You sigh, disappointed.

"I thought you guys would be cool, but fuck you all."

You breathe a mighty burst of fire into the Orks surrounding you, incinerating most of them. You see Richard still fighting a few of the Orks, taking an axe blow straight to the head, knocking him down. The vampire casts a black bolt straight into the Ork, blasting him into giblets... Richard slowly gets up, and impales an Ork with his sword.

Actions.

>See if Richard's alright. Don't want an injury on your hands.
>See what spell the Vampire casted to cause that Ork to explode!
>Yeah, alright. Head back to the Dwarves, maybe they'll thank you or something.
>Write-in
>>
>>394344
>>See if Richard's alright. Don't want an injury on your hands.
>>See what spell the Vampire casted to cause that Ork to explode!
>>
>>394349
+1
>>
You go over to Richard, who continues to search for enemies.

"Richard, you alright?"

"Is there any more enemies to fight?"

"No, I think we got them all?"

"Damn it. I was hoping to kill a few more." His body droops slightly, as if he was disappointed.

"Yeah, yeah. Any injuries?"

"Nope, I'm fine."

"...You got hit twice by angry Orks. I doubt it."

"I don't feel anything, and I would know, alright?"

Actions.

>Yeah, check in on the Vampire and head back.
>Mind if I heal you?
>You're sure you aren't injured? You took two axe blows, one to the head... How are you even conscious?
>Write-In
>>
>>394391
>You're sure you aren't injured? You took two axe blows, one to the head... How are you even conscious?
>>Yeah, check in on the Vampire and head back.

Richard is pretty cool, let's spend time with him when we get back.
>>
>>394391
>>You're sure you aren't injured? You took two axe blows, one to the head... How are you even conscious?
>>Mind if I heal you?
>>
"You took two blows, one to the head. How are you still conscious?"

"Well, I nearly lost consciousness at the beginning. I think I got stabbed in the lower leg."

"...Then how the fuck are you still running and walking?"

"How am I supposed to know? I'm not a doctor. I'm a... Well, unofficial knight."

"Mind if I check out the wound then?"

"I'm fine man, no need to check it out."

"...Yeah, alright. I guess. You sure?"

"I'm sure brother."

Actions.

>...Yeah, check anyways. Demand that he remove his plate armor.
>Go to the Vampire, make sure she's alright.
>You wouldn't happen to know magic, by any chance?
>Write-In
>>
>>394424
>...Yeah, check anyways. Demand that he remove his plate armor.

Dude is in shock and feels no pain. This makes him in no way less injured.
>>
>>394424
>>...Yeah, check anyways. Demand that he remove his plate armor.
>>394424
>>
"Yeah, take off your plate armor. I want to check for myself."

"Alright, I guess."

He starts taking off his armor, down to his tunic without issue. You begin looking him over for wounds...

Roll me a 1d20+6 for getting your medical license.
>>
>>394438
+1
Lets get going
>>
Rolled 17 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>394453
>>
Rolled 4 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>394453
>>
>>394462
Damn, I'm rolling low tonigth.
>>
17+6=23

Great Success!

You carefully look over his body, and find a rather gruesome wound right by his Achilles heel. It defies logic that he would be able to walk... But for some reason, he is doing it without issue. After further examination, you find that right by his head, a scar has formed, as if it was old already. You sense magic at work, personally.

Then, you hear a voice in your head.

"HEY! YOU LITTLE FUCKING SLAANESHI SHIT! I WANTED TO TELL YOU FUCK YOU!"

"What th-"

"THIS MAKES UP FOR YOUR SHITTY PREFORMANCE NOT GENOCIDING THOSE LITTLE RAT FUCKS! CONSIDER THIS A BLESSING THAT I DECIDE NOT TO FUCK YOUR SHIT UP!"

"Who's this?"

"IT'S KHORNE YOU SLAANESHI WHORE!"

Actions.

>...Why the fuck are you contacting me now?
>Blessing? What blessing?
>Go the fuck away, alright?
>I'm not a Slaaneshian!
>Write-In
>>
>>394489
>I'm not a Slaaneshian!
>>
>>394489
>>I'm not a Slaaneshian!
>>
>>394489
>>I'm not a Slaaneshian!
>>
"I'm not a Slaaneshian!"

"WHAT?!? WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?"

"It's Renexizious Thorsonn."

"OH! SHIT I THOUGHT I WAS TALKING TO THAT LITTLE SLUT SIGVALD!"

"Who?"

"EH, SOME FAGGOT WHO KILLED HIS FATHER BECAUSE HE WAS A FUCKING EDGELORD. NOW, RENEXIZIOUS THORSONN, RIGHT?"

"Yes?"

"OH, GOOD FUCKING LUCK I HAVE, NOW I WAS INTENDING TO CONTACT YOU A LITTLE LATER, BUT I GUESS RIGHT NOW'S A BAD TIME?"

"Wait, how do you kno-"

"I SAW YOUR BROTHER ESSENTIALLY TAKE A LAWNMOWER TO A HORDE OF ORKS. I FUCKING LOVE THAT SHIT! HELL, I DECIDED TO REWARD HIM BY FIXING HIS LEG!"

Actions.

>...Oh. Thanks, I guess?
>He's not going to suffer any mutations or anything, right?
>Where's my apology for thinking I was a fucking Slaaneshian?
>...Why don't I get a reward?
>Write-In
>>
>>394535
>He's not going to suffer any mutations or anything, right?
>>
>>394535
>>He's not going to suffer any mutations or anything, right?
>>
"I swear to God if you made him mutat-"

"NAH, I ONLY GIVE THAT SHIT OUT TO GUYS WHO WORSHIP ME."

"...Did you make him worship you?"

"NAH, I DON'T FUCKING PULL THAT SHIT THAT TZEENTCH DOES WITH THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER. SO DON'T WORRY, NO STRINGS ATTACHED... BESIDES THAT WAS A SHITTY IDEA WITH THE CORRUPTED APPLE, WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T HE JUST GIVE ADAM A FUCKING AXE AND ENEMIES? HOLY SHIT THAT JUST MADE WANT TO FUCKING CRUSH HIS LITTLE PATHETIC BIRD MOUTH SOME MORE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!"

You hear a squawk in the background.

"BUT YEAH, KEEP UP THE FAMILY-FUN SLAUGHTER, AND LESSEN THE RAT ORGIES, ALRIGHT? ALSO, GENOCIDE A FEW FUCKING ELVES FOR ME."

Actions.

>Thanks, I guess.
>...For a chaos god, your pretty bro-tier. Thanks, dude.
>...Will do?
>Fuck off, Khorne. Nobody loves you.
>Write-In
>>
>>394606
>>...For a chaos god, your pretty bro-tier. Thanks, dude.
>>
>>394606
>>...For a chaos god, your pretty bro-tier. Thanks, dude.
>>
>>394606
>...For a chaos god, your pretty bro-tier. Thanks, dude.
Didn't know this was up until now!
>>
"For a chaos god, you're pretty cool. Thanks, dude."

"NO PROBLEM, MEANS A LOT TO BE HONEST. JUST GOING TO SAY THOUGH THAT MY BROTHERS, AND THAT FUCKING TRAN BITCH, YOU KNOW THE LITTLE SHIT ALREADY. I THINK... WELL THOSE ASSCUNTS FOUND THAT PORTAL YOU CAME OUT OF AND ARE TRYING TO WIGGLE THEIR PATHETIC HIDES IN THERE SO THEY CAN FUCK YOUR DIMENSION OVER! SO I GOT A PROPOSAL... YOU FOLLOWING?"

"So far, yes."

"WELL, THIS ISN'T A "YOU WORK FOR ME" DEAL, THIS IS MORE OR LESS PARTNERS FOR A LITTLE WHILE, SO NO WARP-FUCKERY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. BASICALLY YOU ENTERTAIN ME AND MAKE SURE TO FUCK UP ARCHAON, I MAKE SURE THAT SLAANESH, NURGLE, AND TZEENTCH DON'T HIJACK YOUR WORLD."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"MOSTLY SO I CAN LAUGH IN THEIR FACE ABOUT HOW THEY GOT DESTROYED BY YOU. ALSO BECAUSE YOUR WORLD IS A FUCKING SHITTY PLACE, NOT ENOUGH VIOLENCE OR BLOODSHED, EXECPT EARLY ON. THAT SHIT WAS PRETTY TIGHT IN MY OPINION WITH THE FUCKING VIKINGS AND ROMANS AND STUFF. NOW, YOU ACCEPT THE DEAL?"

Actions.

>Sure... So long as I don't get mutated against my will or forced to do something I don't really like.
>I think I can deal with it on my end, thanks though.
>Who the fuck is Archaon?
>...No, fuck no.
>>
>>394668
>>Who the fuck is Archaon?
>>
>>394686
seconded
>>
>>394668
>>Sure... So long as I don't get mutated against my will or forced to do something I don't really like.
>>Who the fuck is Archaon?
>>
"Who the fuck is Archaon?"

"THE EVERCHOSEN CHAMPION OF CHAOS OR SOME FUCKING SHIT. WAS DOING PRETTY GOOD UNTIL HE CAME OUT AS A FUCKING TRANS THANKS TO SLAANESHI'S FUCKERY."

"...One of your chaos champions... Turned into a transvestite?"

"YEAH! THE FUCKER EMBRACED IT AND FUCKING ORDERED BOOB-PLATE! BOOB-PLATE! NO FUCKING REAL ARMOR! JUST FUCKING BOOB-PLATE THE LITTLE FUCKING CUNT! HE EVEN CLAIMED THAT AN AXE IS TOO FUCKING HARD TO USE AND HE GOT HIS ASS BEATEN BY A FUCKING ORK!"
Your mind descends into yelling, anger issues, and angry shouting.

"SO FUCK HIS SHIT UP IS ALL I'M SAYING."

Actions.

>...Why do you guys even call yourself chaos? Why not be more... I don't know... Lawful? Like systematic killing or something?
>I think I can accept the deal to kill the Everchosen. Can't be too tough, can he?
>Yeah, no. I don't give a shit, good bye.
>>
>>394706
>I think I can accept the deal to kill the Everchosen. Can't be too tough, can he?
>>
>>394706
>>I think I can accept the deal to kill the Everchosen. Can't be too tough, can he?
>>
>>394706
>I think I can accept the deal to kill the Everchosen. Can't be too tough, can he?
>>
>>394706
>>...Why do you guys even call yourself chaos? Why not be more... I don't know... Lawful? Like systematic killing or something?
>>
>>394706
>I think I can accept the deal to kill the Everchosen. Can't be too tough, can he?

Just something to do, I mean we are allready here anyways and all.
>>
"Sure, I guess."

"THANKS MAN. SEE YOU AROUND."

The voice disappears, and you find yourself staring at your brother's scar. You shake yourself out of it, and look at your brother's Achilles heel, which is healing rapidly. In a matter of moments, it fully heals up.

"Something wrong?"

Actions.

>Nope, not at all.
>...Did you hear a voice when you briefly lost consciousness?
>Yeah. Apparently the Gods of this world healed you. Or at least the bro-tier one did.
>Write-In
>>
>>394737
>>Yeah. Apparently the Gods of this world healed you. Or at least the bro-tier one did.
>>
>>394737
>>Yeah. Apparently the Gods of this world healed you. Or at least the bro-tier one did.
>>
"Yeah, apparently the gods of this world healed you. Or at least the bro-tier one did."

"Oh. Cool, good I guess."

"Yep. Now, I'm going to check in on the vampire over there."

"Alright, I guess."

You walk over to the vampire, who's basically just checking the bodies of the non-incineratod or stomped Orks.

"What are you looking for?"

"Oh, just some feminine products, if you will."

"...Feminine products?"

"Ork ears and teeeth make good alchemy regents."

Actions.

>...You're into alchemy? So am I!
>Just wondering... What's your name? I never actually asked?
>...What's my performance level in bed, m'lady?
>So... Do you know the way out of here?
>Write-In
>>
>>394783
>>...You're into alchemy? So am I!
>>Just wondering... What's your name? I never actually asked?
>>
>>394783
>>...You're into alchemy? So am I!
>>Just wondering... What's your name? I never actually asked?
>>
"You are into alchemy?"

"Yes, it's a... Family tradition, of sorts."

"Ah. Well, so am I!"

"Truly? Well then, mind if I ask how many wolfbane leaves and oak saplings it takes to create a healing potion?"

Actions

>You know this like the back of your hand! (Alchemy, HARD)
>Erh... I'm not sure, to be honest.
>I never created a healing potion before.
>I specialize in mutagen, not really... Well, anything else.
>Write-In
>>
>>394823
>>I specialize in mutagen, not really... Well, anything else.
>>
Going to sleep now, Anons (You) better not fuck up killing Archaeon if we get to it.
>>
>>394823
>>I never created a healing potion before
changed my vote
>>
"Well... I've never created a healing potion before."

"Ah. I suspected as much, judging from the sudden pause."

"Sudden pause? What sudden pause?"

"You tensed up there for a second... By the way, mind if I ask you for a favor?"

"What is it?"

"So... I haven't exactly fed for a few weeks... I was wondering if I could have some... Well, some blood."

Actions.

>...What happens if you don't drink blood?
>Well...That depends. Will it kill someone, infect them... Give me specifics here, damn it!
>Sure!
>Nope!
>Write-In
>>
>>394849
>>...What happens if you don't drink blood?
>Well...That depends. Will it kill someone, infect them... Give me specifics here, damn it!
>>
"So... What happens if you don't drink blood?"

"Well, generally I stop looking good, and gradually fade away into looking more or less like a skeleton, then finally dying. Again, I suppose. Besides that, my intelligence and control over the undead fade, as I told you with your son, Julius."

"So... What exactly happens if you drink someone's blood? What happens to the people you drink it from?"

"Eh... If I leave very little, then generally they also become vampires. If I leave plenty, then they simply are fine."

"So how much do you need?"

"Two pints, like normal."

Actions.

>Oh, sure then. I can give you some.
>Why don't you ask Richard?
>...Can't you drink an Ork's blood? If they have blood?
>Write-In
>>
>>394849
>Write-In
"Will different types of blood have different effects? Is a dragon's blood more potent than a human's?"
>>
Going to wait five more minutes anons.
>>
>>394878
Just wait until we get back to the dwarves and feed on one of them
>>
>>394878
>>...Can't you drink an Ork's blood? If they have blood?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Dwarves?
2=Orks.
>>
"Why don't you drink off one of the Ork's bodies?"

"Besides being disgusting, they're already dead. That doesn't exactly work for me."

"Oh. Well... Just wondering, is a dragon's blood more potent?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I would most likely argue though, that it would taste delicious."

"Mind if I ask your name at least?"

"It's Franziska von Carstein."

"Ah."

Actions.

>...So, Franziska... Why don't you feed on the dwarves when we get back?
>Ask my brother, alright?
>I guess you can suck some of my blood.
>Just... Uh. Wait a while longer, we'll be out of here alright? No need to suck anyone's blood yet.
>Write-In
>>
>>394957
>...So, Franziska... Why don't you feed on the dwarves when we get back?
>>
>>394957
>>Just... Uh. Wait a while longer, we'll be out of here alright? No need to suck anyone's blood yet.
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>394957
>>Just... Uh. Wait a while longer, we'll be out of here alright? No need to suck anyone's blood yet.
>>
I'm back, I got promoted at work, so I've been busy as fuck, what's been going on? AND IS THE ECONOMY OK?!
>>
>>395000
The economy is fine. We've had enough surplus to "waste" 10 billion on failed mutagen experiments.

...one day we'll manage to get the dragon mutagen right. One day...
>>
>>395019
>billion
Sorry, meant milion.
>>
Back.

"Just wait a while longer, alright? We'll get you some more blood."

"Very well then. I suppose I can wait."

Actions.

>...So, what exactly did you do before... You know, becoming a vampire?
>So, just wondering... Are you religious?
>Yeah, well... I suppose I'll see you around once we get back to the dwarf's place, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>395032
>>...So, what exactly did you do before... You know, becoming a vampire?
>>
>>395032
>>...So, what exactly did you do before... You know, becoming a vampire?
>>
>>395000
As for what's been going on... well, long story. But we found some portals leading to other worlds, in one of them Ren's mother lives. And in another, or it might be the same one, is what's basically the warhammer fantasy universe. That's where we are now.

Read the summaries for each thread on suptg if you want to know some big events you missed.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=European
>>
"So... What exactly did you do before being a vampire?"

"Before? I am still a Sister of Sigmar."

"...Sister of Sigmar?"

"Yes. It's rather similar to your... Convents of nuns back on Earth. Except we fight for Lord Sigmar, of course."

"How can a vampire be religious?"

"Well, I'm not too religious anymore, since I began to travel the world from Norsca to Araby. Most likely because I have to tolerate those of different religions."

Actions
>Who's Sigmar?
>Why exactly did you begin to travel the world?
>Why would you become a vampire then, if you are a nun?
>...What exactly is the Sisters of Sigmar?
>Write-In
>>
>>395072
>>Who's Sigmar?
>>
>>395072
>>Who's Sigmar?
>>Why would you become a vampire then, if you are a nun?
>>
>>395072
Btw, QuestingQM, why is the link to suptg that's in the character sheet broken into two? Andy why isn't a clickable link?
>>
>>395100
>>395100
Fixed it.

"...Who's Sigmar?"

"He's the god of the Empire, patron of said Empire, battle, governance, strength, and warhammers."

"...Warhammers?"

"Especially warhammers."

"Oh. Why exactly did you become a vampire if you're a nun?"

"Well... I got it in order to go into plague-ridden cities to cure and heal the infected inside of it. I've been doing that for about... Fourty years now?"

"...How old are you?"

"About sixty."

"You look like you're in your twenties!"

She blushes slightly.
"Thanks for noticing."

Actions.

>What are the Sisters of Sigmar?
>You're a healer?
>How exactly did you use that magic back there? I doubt a healer knows that.
>...I suppose that's rather charitable for a vampire to assist the ill and downtrodden.
>Well, I suppose I must go now...
>Write-In
>>
Waiting ten more minutes anons.
>>
>>395130
>>...I suppose that's rather charitable for a vampire to assist the ill and downtrodden.
>>
"I suppose that's rather charitable for a vampire to assist the ill and downtrodden."

"Ah, thank you for showing some interest in my work... Now, I assume we should probably get back before more Orks show up."

"I suppose that would be for the best then."

You, Richard, and Franziska head back to the Dwarven Stronghold...

PoV time!

>Switch to Claw's escape with Bismark!
>Remain as Renexizious!
>>
>>395198
>>Switch to Claw's escape with Bismark!
Damn, we almost hit it off with her. Ah well.
>>
>>395198
>>Switch to Claw's escape with Bismark!
>>
Claw's Escape it is.

You are Claw, and you are hiding in the IT room of... Well, whatever this place is. You've also decided to steal a "computer", whatever that is, in order to continue playing World of Reichscraft. However, you realize that you must escape this facility with the help of Bismar-

"Why are you narrating?"

"...I don't know, it sounded fitting."

"Whatever."

He sits down.

"What the hell am I doing... I don't even know what you are."

Actions.

>That's not important, really.
>I am the dreaded viking, Vengar Longanson! Or just call me Claw. I guess.
>...I'm a sidekick to a dragon, man.
>Shut the fuck up! There might be women outside there! We can't freak them out with thinking on what I am!
>Write-In
>>
>>395237
>...I'm a sidekick to a dragon, man.
"My name's Claw. Yes, really."
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>395261
this,I guess.
>>
"Well... I'm sidekick to a dragon. And my name's Claw. Yes. It really is Claw."

"Dragons aren't real, and why the fuck am I talking to someone who can apparently shapeshift from a human into a giant fucking wolf with slime coming out of it? Not to mention, Claw is a highly cliche name for a wolf... Guy."

"HEY! I fucking love my slime, don't say shit about it. And there's nothing wrong about my name."

"I didn't even put my opinion on i-"

"Shut it, you!"

You look around the IT office carefully... There's a ventilation shaft, a fridge, and a few pictures, along with a desk and a computer. You realize that your slightly hungry, and look towards the fringe. You can only dream of the food they have in the future!

"...Fucking hell. How the hell am I supposed to smuggle you out?"

Actions.

>We can get through the ventilation!
>...Why don't we just walk out?
>I could just absorb you into my slime, and we can rush the guards and escape.
>...Why am I coming up with the plan here?
>...Just wondering... Do you have any food in that fridge?
>We can stay the night in here! It's like a sleep-over!
>Write-In
>>
>>395296
>>We can get through the ventilation!
Claw is a sneaky bastard when riled up.
>>
"Let's just take the ventilation."

"...Well, I suppose that could work..."

Actions.

>I have an idea... We'll both crawl in, nothing special, and get through!
>...I'll shapeshift into my wolf form, and well... Asorb you. Hopefully we'll go faster through it.
>I have an idea! I'll go in my natural form, and you'll just follow through, and hopefully not get stuck in my slime!
>Write-In
>>
>>395353
>...I'll shapeshift into my wolf form, and well... Absorb you. Hopefully we'll go faster through it.
I'm not sure how this works but putting two bodies in a cramped ventilation shaft sounds really sucky.
>>
"Well... I guess I'll shapeshift into my wolf form, and I'll absorb you. Hopefully we won't get as cramped and can go through it."

"Erh... No?"

"Why?"

"I just bought these clothes for a date after work! I don't want them to be ruined, alright?"

Actions.

>I understand. I think. Just crawl behind me, I guess.
>What's a date? You don't think you actually know what this means.
>Come on, it's comfy, fuzzy and I promise it doesn't stain! I think! (Charisma, HARD)
>I never said this was up for debate. (Intimidation, HARD)
>You can always take off your clothes and get inside me. It won't be weird, I promise. (Autism)
>Write-In
>>
>>395396
>>You can always take off your clothes and get inside me. It won't be weird, I promise. (Autism)
Hopefully we can level up our autism today.
>>
>>395396
>>I understand. I think. Just crawl behind me, I guess.
>>
Waiting ten more minutes.
>>
>>395396
>>You can always take off your clothes and get inside me. It won't be weird, I promise. (Autism)
My mind is telling me no, but my funnybone is telling me yes!
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3 to not realize the obvious homosexual joke in here.
>>
Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>395428
>>
Rolled 2 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>395428
>>
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>395428
physicalformofautism.jpg
>>
Rolled 13 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>395428
>>
>>395436
thanks lad
>>
the economy doesn't need saving, so I'll be lurking...
>>
19+3=22

Great Success!

"Just take off your clothes and get inside me."

"Sure, I guess."

"Good. Good."

You shapeshift into your wolf form, and he takes off his clothes, and... Steps inside you.

"No homo, right?"

"S-Sure. No homo."

"What's with the dela-"

You grab him and force him into you. You carefully get a box and put his clothes in, and begin climbing up through the ventilation shafts with senpa- You mean Bismark's clothes.

Roll me a 1d20+10 for sneaking out!
>>
>>395445
What do you feel about the internal politics of keeping industry in Stockholm and Russia?
>>
Rolled 2 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>395454
>>
>>395456
>politics
I don't deal with bureaucracy and hat wearers, I deal with numbers. If history has taught us anything, we let our industry stay in our country, and not let it out of ours, Trump is right about some things
>>
Rolled 2 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>395454
Were taking this man back home with us, he's now claws new husbundo
>>
Rolled 9 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>395454
>>
Rolled 17 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>395454
We're a greased furry ball of someone else's problem.
>>
>>395460
And if there's anything CK2 teaches you, it's that money is very much power. As power flows through our system of government properly, so too should money. I was asking if you think, within the confines of our own empire, that there would be any discontent on the spread of that wealth.
>>
9+10=19

Minor Failure!

You crawl through the vents, greasing it up with slime. Eventually you come to a slight grate, and hear someone below say something.

"...Did you hear something?"

"I think I did... Also, why is there slime in my coffee?"

Actions.

>...Shit, don't let them raise the alarm! Drop down and absorb them into the furry mass that is you! (Agility)
>Creep them out. Ask a really personal question and hope they just think your someone else's problem. (Autism, HARD)
>Try to convince them you aren't up here. (Charisma, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>395476
>Creep them out. Ask a really personal question and hope they just think your someone else's problem. (Autism, HARD)
We shall be Claw now.
>>
>>395476
>Creep them out. Ask a really personal question and hope they just think your someone else's problem. (Autism, HARD)
We need to level up claws autism
>>
>>395475
>Creep them out. Ask a really personal question and hope they just think your someone else's problem. (Autism, HARD)
fuck it, it'd be so funny that we have to do it.
>>395475
I'm not sure, things are looking pretty good right now, most groups are ok with us, and the people like us, let's not make any radical changes, yet.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3.

Additional +2 if you give me something very creepy or autistic to ask from the ventilation.
>>
Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>395485
>>
Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>395485
we ask how you're supposed to walk away after doing a 360 after doing an xbox.
>>
Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>395485
>>
16+3=19

"...How does one walk away after doing a 360 after doing an Xbox?"

"What the fuck?"

"...I think I've had too much coffee."

You hear him spill coffee on the ground, and walk away. You didn't really scare them. You just said something strange.

You continue to crawl through the ventilation, and you see... France? Ahead of you... Of course, if you climb out of the ventilation now, you'll be exposed as a giant wolf covered in slime, in the middle of broad daylight. You also realize that shifting down will mean Bismark will lack clothes. And he cannot put them on in the ventilation shaft...

Actions.

>Shapeshift back down into human form, and let senpa- You mean Bismark go.
>Go into the city, but shapeshift into your true size. No one will lay a finger on your senpa- You mean, you will make sure no one recognizes Bismark!
>...Nah, people shouldn't care, I mean, there's way more interesting stuff to look at besides you!
>Let Bismark out of your slime, and go down.
>Write-In
>>
>>395508
I thought of a much better, but I was too autistic to ask for a redo
>>
>>395508
>Go into the city, but shapeshift into your true size. No one will lay a finger on your senpa- You mean, you will make sure no one recognizes Bismark!
>>
Rolled 2 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>395476
>Creep them out. Ask a really personal question and hope they just think your someone else's problem. (Autism, HARD)

You know coffee makes some people poop heavily? Like one minute after they drink it. I've heard it explained that the adnergic receptors that govern sleeping and pooping are stimulated by it. Do either of you have to poop right now?
>>
>>395508
>>Go into the city, but shapeshift into your true size. No one will lay a finger on your senpa- You mean, you will make sure no one recognizes Bismark!
>>
>>395508
>>Let Bismark out of your slime, and go down.
>>
You slowly crawl out into Paris's streets, and grow to a three-story wolf monster. Civilians start running away, and the few guards in the base start shooting at you.

Actions.

>...Ignore that, and rush towards an alleyway that can fit you, so you can shapeshift down. (Agility)
>...You're slightly hungry. Maybe guards taste good? (Body)
>Roll around and try to absorb civilians! Maybe you can digest them later! (Agility)
>Try to find Bismark's house! You've just got to track down the scent! (Intelligence)
>Vacuum time! Start sucking up as much as possible! (Agility)
>Write-In
>>
>>395527
>>...Ignore that, and rush towards an alleyway that can fit you, so you can shapeshift down. (Agility)
Sneaky is best.
>>
>>395527
>Try to find Bismark's house! You've just got to track down the scent! (Intelligence)
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Ignore the shots!
2=Find Bismark's house!
>>
>>395527
>...You're slightly hungry. Maybe guards taste good? (Body)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10 to lower your wanted level.
>>
Rolled 6 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>395557
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
More people should roll.
>>
Rolled 15 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>395557
>>
6+10=16

Failure!

You sprint into a nearby alleyway, and begin to shift down. Eventually Bismark emerges, covered in slime and spitting out little chunks of slime. However, soldiers run into the alleyway, confused that the giant wolf is gone. The look at the two of you, and begin to put things together.

Actions.

>...I'm not the wolf your looking for? (Charisma, HARD)
>You all smell funny. Hey, why don't you show me pictures of your wife? I promise I won't get any ideas. (Autism)
>Put your hands up to surrender.
>Shapeshift back into wolf form.
>Write-In
>>
Anons? You still alive?
>>
>>395579
>You all smell funny. Hey, why don't you show me pictures of your wife? I promise I won't get any ideas. (Autism)
Quest has been really slow lately.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3
>>
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>395612
>>
>>395692
autism powers activate
>>
Oh dear god.

"...You all smell funny. Just wondering... Do any of you have pictures of your wives? I need to borrow them for a few days. Also, could you all include name, address, and if you could, sexual preference."

The men retreat, and Bismark comes up to you.

"...Wow. Your bluff for trying to fuck their wives worked."

"Who said it was a bluff? I genuinely wanted their photos."

"...Your fucking weird. Where's my clothes?"

"Don't worry, I got them in this box."

He opens up the slime-covered box, and finds... Clean clothes. Huh. He begins putting them on.

"You can be inside me any time, Bismark."

"Fucking stop. Stop. Please, stop."

"...Please?"

"No! Now, I suppose you need a place to stay... I guess you could stay over for a few days, but here's some ground rules..."

"What?"

"First off, no creeping out my girlfriend. Number two, don't fucking stain anything with your slime or whatever. Number three, don't try and fuck my girlfriend. Number four... Don't get fur everywhere."

Actions.

>...I can agree to that, alright.
>Let's compromise... (Charisma, Specify what to change.)
>I'll find my own place to sleep!
>...Where am I supposed to sleep?
>Write-In
>>
>>395716
>...I can agree to that, alright
>>
Going to continue this later, please keep voting though.
>>
>>395716
>What about a threesome?
>>
>>395716
>Let's compromise... (Charisma, Specify what to change.)>What about a threesome?
>>
>>395742
This. Let's let the autism flow freely.
>>
>>395782
Sounds like when there's a hot girl with me
>>
>>395716
>>...I can agree to that, alright.
>>395716
>>
>>395742
This
>>
>>395716
>>...I can agree to that, alright.
>>
>>395742
seconded
>>
>>395716
> Use >>395742. What about a threesome?
>>
Thine Autism is strong. Autism has leveled up.
Roll me a 1d20+4
>>
Rolled 15 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>396543
Yes, yes, let the autism flow through us.
>>
Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>396543
Now I am become Autist, destroyer of nuance
>>
>>396562
15+4=19

Failure!

"H-How abo-about a threesome?" You ask nervously.

"What? No! I'm not gay and I won't let you fuck my girlfriend, Jesus. Do you agree to follow the rules in my house at the least?"

You can't help but be angry at that.

Actions

>Fine, I agree.
>Fine, I agree (Lie)
>No, I can find my own place, alright?
>I'm not gay!
>Write In
>>
>>396642
>>Fine, I agree (Lie)
>>
>>396642
>Fine, I agree.
But then
>I'm not gay!
>>
>>396642
>>Fine, I agree.
>>
>>396669
>>396648
>>396642
Can we try to cuck him though?
>>
"F-Fine! Your loss!"

"...Yeah, alright. Let's pretend this never happened, alright?"

"O-Of course."

"Good."

"I-I'm not gay. If that's what your wondering."

"...Honestly that wouldn't surprise me, but come on, I haven't even gone on a date with her yet."

You wonder what a date is, then ask a question.

"...I-If you never went on a date with her... Then how is she your girlfriend?"

"Shut up! I-I haven't ever gotten a girlfriend, alright?"

You nearly laugh.

"L-Let's just get back to my place, alright?"

"Fine."

After a while of walking through the Paris streets, you finally get to what seems to be Bismark's place, which has rather interesting architecture, You go inside, and he goes up the stairs.

"So... Just... Uh, don't fucking touch anything until I get back. I need to get some groceries, alright?"

"Alright then."

"Thank you."

He leaves, and your curiosity gets the better of you... Why not search around in his house?

From what you can see, there's a few sections of the house.

Actions.

>...Nah, you won't pull that shit on Bismark. Don't search in any of the rooms and remain where you are.
>Search the living room. Which looks more or less like a man cave.
>Search the bedroom.
>...Follow Bismark, you too need groceries.
>Kitchen? Maybe there's food in there...
>What's in the basement?
>A study! Cool! What's in it?
>Write-In
>>
>>396708
>>...Nah, you won't pull that shit on Bismark. Don't search in any of the rooms and remain where you are.
>>
>>396708
>>...Nah, you won't pull that shit on Bismark. Don't search in any of the rooms and remain where you are
>>
>>396708
>>...Nah, you won't pull that shit on Bismark. Don't search in any of the rooms and remain where you are.
Try and see if there's a place to set up the computer tho, the world of reichscraft calls
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>396726
this.
>>
You attempt to find a place to set up the computer. You realize that you have no idea on how a computer works, and you put it on what seems to be a coffee table in the living room. You attempt to type stuff into the black screen, but it doesn't work.

Actions.

>What do those wires do? (Intelligence, HARD)
>Maybe you should just find something else to do.
>...Fuck this, is there an instruction manual? (Intelligence)
>You should probably wait for Bismark to come back before you break this computer.
>>
>>396793
>>What do those wires do? (Intelligence, HARD)
>>
>>396793
>...Fuck this, is there an instruction manual? (Intelligence)
Don't wanna break it.
>>
>>396793
>>...Fuck this, is there an instruction manual? (Intelligence)
>>396793
>>
Roll me a 1d20+1.
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>396841
>>
Rolled 10 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>396841
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>396841
>>
10+1=11

Failure!

You attempt to find an instruction manual, and realize that there was no instruction manual to begin with... It takes you nearly an hour to figure that out, and you search all over.

Actions

>Nah, this is stupid. Just wait for Bismark.
>...You should search around this house a little.
>Play around with the wires, maybe they do something? (Intelligence, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>396894
>>Nah, this is stupid. Just wait for Bismark.
>>
>>396894
>Play around with the wires, maybe they do something? (Intelligence, HARD)
>>
>>396894
>Nah, this is stupid. Just wait for Bismark.
Lets not break the damn thing.
>>
You decide to wait for Bismark, and a few minutes pass. You hear him open the door, and come up with a bag of groceries.

"Hey, what are you doing with the computer you stole?"

"I'm trying to figure out how to work it."

"Eh, let me take a look at once I put some stuff in the fridge."

A few minutes pass of impatient waiting, and he comes over.

"...You sure you want to play it on the coffee table?"

"Yeah, I like sitting on the couch, it's comfy."

"Alright... Now hang on."

He starts plugging some stuff into the walls, and a few more minutes pass.

"Alright, so it should work. Just don't slam it or anything."

"Got it. You want to play as well?"

"Nah, I got to get ready for my date."

Actions.

>...Why don't you practice with me, senpa- I mean, Bismark? (Autism)
>Oh, good luck then.
>...I'm going to bet it's going to end in disaster.
>Sure, bring back something to eat like chips or something.
>...Could I come along? (Charisma)
>Write-In
>>
>>396954
>>...Could I come along? (Charisma)
>>
>>396954
>>...Could I come along? (Charisma)
>>
>>396954
>...Could I come along? (Charisma)
Go PUPPER!
>>
Roll me a 1d20+1
>>
>>396960
This.
>>
Rolled 10 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>397085
>>
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>397085
>>
Rolled 14 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>397085
>>
14+1=15

Success!

"C-Could I come along too?"

You give him your puppy eyes of legend.

"...Fine. Just don't creep her out or anything, alright?"

Actions.

>I promise.
>...I promise... But you'll be mine... Soon. (Lie.)
>I'll try, I guess.
>Write-In
>>
>>397120
>I'll try, I guess.
>>
>>397120
>>I'll try, I guess.
>>
>>397120
>>...I promise... But you'll be mine... Soon. (Lie.)
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DSVDcw6iW8
Thread theme right now, a shout out to my main man Claw.
>>
>>397120
>...I promise... But you'll be mine... Soon. (Lie.)
>>
"S-Sure. I'll try, I guess."

You'll be mine... Soon, soon.

"Thanks man. Now just... Erh, wait a few minutes while I get ready."

You wait a while longer, and he comes out in a suit.

"How do I look?"

"Good. I guess."

"Yeah. Alright, come on. Let's do this."

You follow him outside.

"So... Where exactly are you meeting her at?"

"It's a rather nice cafe not too far away from here, run by Frenchmen, and has rather good coffee."

"...Mind if I ask what ethinicity she is?"

"She's French, why?"

"...In nazi-occupied France? You sure that's a good idea?"

"It's better then not having a girlfriend, man. See, there's the cafe, now... Come on."

You walk into the cafe, and he goes up to the bar, sitting down. You sit next to him on one of the stools.

"...How are you supposed to figure out who she is?"

"...Shit... Uh, hope that she recognizes me?"

"Well... Alright."

You see a girl walk in, a black hair, that sort of thing. Dress, and looks like she's on a date... She walks up next to Bismark.

"Are you Bismark?"

"Y-Y-"

Actions.

>Order a drink, just let Bismark figure this out on his own.
>...Quickly distract Bismark's date in order to save Bismark from fucking up! (Autism)
>Introduce yourself as Bismark. (Charisma)
>...Ask if she'd like a tumble. (Autism, HARD)
>...Distract everyone by shapeshifting! You'll prevent Bismark's blunder by making a bigger blunder!
>Write-In
>>
>>397212
>...Quickly distract Bismark's date in order to save Bismark from fucking up! (Autism)
>>
>>397212
>>...Quickly distract Bismark's date in order to save Bismark from fucking up! (Autism)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4
>>
Rolled 13 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>397247
>>
>>397212
>...Quickly distract Bismark's date in order to save Bismark from fucking up! (Autism)
Let's do this!
Though I don't know if this option refers to autism-level wingmanship or autism-date take-over. Both are good!
>>
Rolled 11 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>397247
>>
Rolled 11 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>397247
>>
"W-Who are you?"

"I am Marguerite. Are you Bismark?"

Bismark snaps out of it, and seems to be about to speak again.

Actions.

>Yes, yes I am.
>No, that's Bismark.
>Uh. That would be the bartender. I think.
>Do you have any photos of you I can borrow? (Autism)
>Write-In
>>
>>397270
>No, that's Bismark.
>>
>>397270
>Uh. That would be the bartender. I think.
>Do you have any photos of you I can borrow? (Autism)
>>
>>397270
>>No, that's Bismark.
>>
>>397270
>>No, that's Bismark.
>>
"N-No, that's Bismark. Right here."

"Oh. Alright."

"Yes! I am Bismark, Marguerite!"

"Ah... Well then."

She sits down and the two of the begin talking. It seems that they are getting along well.

Actions.

>...Get a drink, you'll be here a while.
>You must go. World of Reichcraft is calling.
>Awkwardly butt into the conversation. (Autism)
>...Ask if Marguerite has a World of Reichcraft account. (Autism)
>Shapeshift, because why not?
>Write-In
>>
>>397304
>>...Get a drink, you'll be here a while.
>>
>>397304
>...Ask if Marguerite has a World of Reichcraft account. (Autism)
>>
>>397304
>You must go. World of Reichcraft is calling.
>>
>>397304
>...Ask if Marguerite has a World of Reichcraft account. (Autism)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4
>>
>>397304
Pretend to
>...Get a drink, you'll be here a while.
Then
>You must go. World of Reichcraft is calling.
>>
Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>397338
>>
18+4=22

Great Success!

"Hey Marguerite, do you have a World of Reichcraft account?"

"Eh... No, but I've been looking into it."

Bismark blunts in.

"Why don't I show you how to play it back at my place?"

"Oh, that would be nice, monsieur!"

"T-Thanks Claw. I owe you one." he whispers in your ear.

Actions.

>No! You won't let a girl compromise such a treasure such as World of Reichcraft! Make a scene, ASAP! (Autism, HARD)
>You can't let a girl into the virtual realm... Shapeshift, and sow confusion!
>N-No problem, Bismark.
>Write-In
>>
>>397374
>>N-No problem, Bismark.
>>
>>397374
>>N-No problem, Bismark.
>>
"N-No problem, Bismark."

The three of you get up, and head back to Bismark's home...

PoV switch time.

>Remain as Claw!
>Switch to Renexizious!
>>
>>397374
>N-No problem, Bismark.
>>
>>397439
>Remain as Claw!
THE AUTISM THREESOME IS ALMOST A GO
>>
>>397456
This.
>>
>>397439
>>Remain as Claw!
>>
Claw it is.

The three of you begin walking back, and Marguerite asks you a question.

"What's your name?"

"I-It's..."

Actions.

>Call me Ren.
>I-It's KKKlaw_69.
>It's just Claw.
>I-I am wolfguy called Claw.
>Write-In
>>
>>397486
>It's just Claw.
>>
>>397486
>>It's just Claw.
>>
"It's just Claw."

"Claw? Is that German for something?'

"No, my name is seriously Claw."

"Ah. Well, pleased to meet you, monsieur Claw. Now, how do you know Bismark?"

"I'm his roommate."

"Ah."

"S-So... How are you doing?"

"Good. I guess."

Bismark interrupts.

"So, Marguerite, what do you like?"

"Oh, well I do indeed like painting, dancing... French things, if you will."

They continue talking, and you get back to Bismark's house.

"Oh, Claw. I got you a soda."

"...What's a soda?"

"Eh, if you don't want it I'll drink it. I gotta set up a third computer for Marguerite."

Actions.

>Sure, I guess. What does a soda taste like anyways?
>Nah, you'd rather just leap straight to playing Reichcraft.
>What the hell is a soda?
>Write-In
>>
>>397532
>>Sure, I guess. What does a soda taste like anyways?
>>
>>397532
>Sure, I guess. What does a soda taste like anyways?
Claw and caffeinated drinks.
>>
>>397558
This will end poorly. I love it.
>>
"S-Sure. I guess."

"Alright, it's in the fridge."

You go over and decide to drink the soda...

Roll me a 1d20+4
>>
Rolled 8 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>397607
>>
Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>397607
gently oscillating wolfguy
>>
Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>397607
>>
>>397626
>>397607
Praise kek
>>
20+4.

Critcal Success!

You drink the soda. And you can feel it coursing through you... You feel powerful. You feel confident.
You feel like you could take over the world!

Actions.

>Put your new-found energy to playing World of Reichcraft.
>You must release your energy! Rampage throughout Paris!
>You have a crazy idea... Get some paper out, and start planning out Hansodr, it's about time you did something about your lands.
>You need more power... Find more soda.
>Use your new-found confidence to attempt to charm Marguerite!
>Write-In
>>
>>397651
>You need more power... Find more soda.
MORE POWER\
>>
>>397651
>Put your new-found energy to playing World of Reichcraft.
>>
>>397651
>>You need more power... Find more soda.
>>
>>397651
>You need more power... Find more soda.
>>
>>397651
>>You need more power... Find more soda.
>>
You open the fridge door, nearly ripping it off, and find some more soda, in similar glass bottles. You begin chugging them down, and feel more confident, for some reason, and you keep moving, unsure of what to do with this new-found energy.

>...Raid the nearby grocery store for more of this beverage.
>Rampage!
>Plan out Hansodr, it's about time!
>Charm someone!
>World of Reichcraft time!
>You can do things without Renexizious! Go back to the laboratory, and go back through the portal you came in! You'll do something!
>Write-In
>>
>>397694
>>Plan out Hansodr, it's about time!
More work, more coffee.
>>
>>397694
>>Plan out Hansodr, it's about time!
MHGA
>>
>>397694
>>Plan out Hansodr, it's about time!
>>
You get out a large amount of papers, and go up to a table, swiping everythnig off it, and grabbing a pen.

...Roll me a 1d20+6 for how well you make Hansodr Great.
>>
Rolled 19 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>397725
>>
>>397729
Damn, what a visionary.
>>
19+6=25

Great Success!

You begin planning out factories, buildings, houses. You name it, you plan it. By the end of planning the city out, it looks more or less like the unholy combo of Moscow and Paris, Moscow with it's large buildings, capable of holding many people, and Paris with it's unique architecture and vibrant streets.

You feel exhausted... And your all out of soda. You can barely move and there's only a few places you can lie down at. You have the urge to sleep in your natural form, since... It's probably more comfy sleeping in then human form.

Actions.

>...You know what would be comfy? The floor.
>...Try to make it to the bedroom... Maybe it's comfy in there.
>...The couch is your designated sleep place, no?
>Table, meet face. Face, meet table...
>Shapeshift to be more comfy... (Free Action)
>Write-In
>>
>>397775
>>Shapeshift to be more comfy... (Free Action)
>...Try to make it to the bedroom... Maybe it's comfy in there.
T H R E E S O M E
>>
>>397775
>>...The couch is your designated sleep place, no?
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>397775
>...The couch is your designated sleep place, no?
>>
You pass out on the couch, and wake up in the morning. You slowly get up and yawn, and see that Bismark isn't in his bedroom. Or anywhere else. He's missing, and there's no note.

Actions.

>...Eh, he's probably at work. Play some World of Reichcraft.
>...Wait. If Bismark's gone... Shapeshift to get more comfy.
>Find some food and make breakfast.
>Where the fuck is Bismark? (Intelligence)
>Watch the television... You've always wondered what exactly a television does.
>Write-In
>>
>>397875
>>
>>397875
>Watch the television... You've always wondered what exactly a television does.
>>
>>397875
>>Where the fuck is Bismark? (Intelligence)
>>
>>397875
>Where the fuck is Bismark? (Intelligence)
>>
>>397893
This.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+1
>>
Rolled 14 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>397916
>>
Rolled 14 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>397916
The mystery begins.
>>
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>397916
>>
14+1=15

Success!

You search in Bismark's bedroom, and find that his bed is still made, and has no signs of being slept in. You also find that there's a broken lamp. It seems someone forced him out. But didn't take you...
You continue searching, and find a piece of paper, which looks more or less like the directions from here to a meeting place.

>...Try to go to said meeting place.
>Nah. Stay here.
>This shit's out of your league. Contact the police or something.
>Write-In
>>
>>397959
>>...Try to go to said meeting place.
But sneakily. We're not just gonna walk into a trap.
>>
>>397959
>>...Try to go to said meeting place.

>>397970
>Implying we don't autist our way out
>>
>>397970
This.
>>
>>397978
Cmon, Claw is pretty good at sneakinng. Even though every single atempt to sneak places up til now ended by him being knocked out and captured.
>>
You go down to the meeting place... Which seems to be in the city... Well, catacombs. You remember back in your world that there zombies, vampires, that sort of shit down here. You hesitantly go down, and continue following the directions... Until you come to a metal door and hear talking from the inside of it...

Actions.

>Knock, maybe they'll let you in?
>Break down the door! (Body!)
>See if you can't find a second way in. (Agility, HARD)
>...Maybe you can just hide somewhere and wait for them to open the door? (Agility)
>Shapeshift! (Free Action)
>Write-In
>>
>>397970
+1
>>
>>398014
>See if you can't find a second way in. (Agility, HARD)
>>
>>398014
>>See if you can't find a second way in. (Agility, HARD)

Inb4 she's not French, she's from the Old World
>>
>>398014
>Listen at the door.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10
>>
Rolled 7 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>398058
They're not the only beast in the woods.
>>
Rolled 9 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>398058
>>
Rolled 3 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>398058
>>
>>398069
>>398072
>>398094
That.. didn't work.
>>
9+10=19
Failure on a Hard Roll!

You attempt to find a way into it, but accidently trip headfirst into the metal door. You hear... Something large, covered in metal headed straight for you. You panic, and realize that... Well...

Actions.

>Hide! (Agility)
>Ambush them! (Agility)
>Break through the door! (Body)
>Look as innocent as possible! (Charisma)
>Shapeshift ASAP!
>Write-In
>>
>>398125
>>Hide! (Agility)
>>
>>398125
>>Look as innocent as possible! (Charisma)
Pet the pupper
>>
>>398128
This.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10
>>
Rolled 9 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>398182
>>
Rolled 5 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>398182
>>
Rolled 9 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>398182
>>
Rolled 20 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>398182
Saving with a nat 20.
>>
>>398239
Wowzers
>>
>>398239
I know I'm going to regret this, but here's something special.

You expertly hide in a box, and look out. You see through the doorway, some sort of giant behemoth, covered head to toe in green armor and with large pauldrons. You remember seeing something like this back in the tabletop store in Sweden... In the 40k section. The figure looks around, with something resembling a flamethrower.

And with that... I've got to go for a while.

Select an action in the meanwhile.

>I-Is that a space marine? COOL! Squeal, you cannot handle this.
>Remain silent, and contain your excitement.
>...Shapeshift silently in the box.
>Try to identify the marine's chapter, you've (in your spare time) at least looked at chapter insignia. (Autism)
>Spill your spaghetti and reveal yourself.
>Write-In
>>
>>398267
>Try to identify the marine's chapter, you've (in your spare time) at least looked at chapter insignia. (Autism)
>>
>>398267
>Try to identify the marine's chapter, you've (in your spare time) at least looked at chapter insignia. (Autism)
>>
>>398275
This.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4 to identify.
>>
Rolled 4 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>398296
>>
Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>398296
It's one of them lizard dudes.
>>
You recognize the marine as a salamander, who fucking suck to be honest, since they can only use fucking flamethrowers. To be honest, you prefer the Space Wolves... Not that you have any bias or anything.

Actions.

>I-Is that a space marine? COOL! Squeal, you cannot handle this.
>Remain silent, and contain your excitement.
>...Shapeshift silently in the box.
>Criticize him for not being a Spess Wofhl.
>Spill your spaghetti and reveal yourself.
>Write-In
>>
>>398316
>>Spill your spaghetti and reveal yourself.
The autism protects.
>>
>>398316
>Criticize him for not being a Spess Wofhl.
>Spill your spaghetti and reveal yourself.
>>
>>398316
>Remain silent, and contain your excitement.
He might purge us.
>>
>>398345
This.
>>
>>398316
>>Spill your spaghetti and reveal yourself.
>>
>>398316
>>Spill your spaghetti and reveal yourself.
>>
"A-Are you a Space Marine?"

You slowly get out of the box ane nearly jump on the marine out of excitement!

He turns to you and says something. Which you don't understand. Shit.

Actions

>You've read enough 40k to understand, right? (Autism)
>Attempt to understand! (Intelligence)
>>
>>398427
>You've read enough 40k to understand, right? (Autism)
>>
>>398427
>You've read enough 40k to understand, right? (Autism)
>>
>>398427
>You've read enough 40k to understand, right? (Autism)
>>
>>398427
>>You've read enough 40k to understand, right? (Autism)
Pseudo-latin go?
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4
>>
Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>398549
A U T I S M
>>
Rolled 7 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>398549
>>
>>398557
wew lad
>>
File: 1465337452802.jpg (92 KB, 550x795)
92 KB
92 KB JPG
>>398557
winrar.
>>
>>398557
Our autism is all powerful
>>
>>398557
Claws Autism knows no bounds!
>>
File: pathead.gif (834 KB, 480x270)
834 KB
834 KB GIF
>>398557
>>398549
We are now the avatar of autism
>>
What?

Give me advice anons for when I come back.
>>
>>398636
We autism so hard the Space Marine fucks off and we find out where Bismark is
>>
RIP QM
>>
Back for a bit.

"Are you a Space Marine?"

"Who are you? How did you find us? Where are we, and how can you understand me?"

Actions

>Welcome to Terra!
>Can I have your autograph?
>I'm Claw!
>Did you bring women?
>What's your name?
>...Up for a threesome? (Autism, Very Hard)
>Where`s senpa- I mean Bismarck!
>Write-In
>>
>>399096
>Can I have your autograph?
>>
>>399096
>...Up for a threesome? (Autism, Very Hard)
>>
>>399096
>Welcome to Terra!
>I'm Claw!
>>
>>399096
>...Up for a threesome? (Autism, Very Hard)
>>
"Hey! I'm Claw and welcome to Terra! Can I have your autograph?"

"Oh. Terra?"

"Yes!"

"Huh. Thank you, Imperial Citizen. Your duty to the Emperor has been archived."

He gives you a headpat, and you would wag your tail if you weren't a human. Oh well...

Actions.

>Where's Bismark?
>T-thank you, can I help you further?
>I've got an itch behind my ears... Could you scratch it please? (Charisma)
>Shapeshift.
>Write In
>>
>>399208
>>Shapeshift.

Claw vs Salamander fight when?
>>
>>399208
>I've got an itch behind my ears... Could you scratch it please? (Charisma)
And then
>T-thank you, can I help you further?
>>
>>399238
Seconded
>>
>>399208
>Shapeshift.
I wonder if claws slime is flamable.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+2
>>
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>399297
>>
Rolled 14 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>399297
>>
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>399297
>>
Borderline Success!

You ask him if he could scratch you behind the ears, and he hesitates, but begins scratching.
You slowly transform into your wolf form, and he pulls his hand back, but hesitates to draw his flamer.

Actions

>Pet doggo pls (Charisma)
>Can you stuff a marine inside your slime? (Agility)
>Shift back!
>Charge the door to save Bismark
>Write In
>>
>>399400
>Pet doggo pls (Charisma)
>>
>>399419
This.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+1
>>
Rolled 19 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>399430
>>
Rolled 17 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>399430
>>
Rolled 10 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>399430
>>
Do not worry anons, for I have returned!

19+1=20

Great Success!

"Erh. Ignore the fact I turned into a wolf and please keep petting me." You turn your Doggo Eyes on, and he continues to hesitates.

"W-What if it's heretical?"

"What's the worst tha-"

A man in a leather suit, a strange hat, and carrying a bolt pistol comes in. You notice inquisitorial insignia.

"Space Marine! Integgorate the native now!"

"Y-Yes sir."

"And stop petting the native wildife!"

"S-Sorry sir."

He sighs, and the man with a strange hat, and a leather suit goes away.

Actions.

>Who's that?
>Shapeshift back.
>...Slime?
>...Don't leave me, please! (Charisma)
>Is Bismark in there?
>Write-In
>>
>>399596
>Who's that?
>...Don't leave me, please! (Charisma)
>>
>>399596
>>Who's that?
>>...Don't leave me, please! (Charisma)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+1
>>
Rolled 13 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>399618
>>
Rolled 7 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>399618
>>
Rolled 8 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>399618
>>
13+1=14

Failure!

"Who's that?"

"Inquisitor Lucilius Hohlstein. He's a bit new to this... Inquisitor business if you ask me."

He turns around to leave... But you stop him.

"Don't leave me, please?"

"Suffer not the mutant. Also, because I have a duty, damn it. I will not falter in my duty to the Emperor!"

He shuts the metal door in your face. This so far has gotten you no where.

Actions.

>...Shapeshift back.
>Meh, Bismark's fucked, time to head back.
>No! You must save Bismark! Break down the door! (Strength)
>...What was that one trick you used back in the Drow caves... Vent the oxygen using your breath? That sounds like a great idea! (Agility)
>...Just wait for them to be finished or something.
>Write-In
>>
>>399627
>No! You must save Bismark! Break down the door! (Strength)
>>
>>399627
>No! Mustsavesenpai! Break the door down.
>>
Going to continue this tomorrow, since lately I've been on and off.
>>
>>399648
>>399654
Supporting.
>>
Roll me 1d20+6
>>
Rolled 12 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>400327
We're gonna kill him, aren't we
>>
Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>400327
>>
16+6=22

Good Success!

You charge the door, and break it down. The marine draws his flamer and points it towards you, while the inquistor draws his pistol.

"What are you waiting for, Marine? Take care of that dog!"'

"R-Right away, sir."

You see the center of the room that french girl... Whatever her name was, and Bismark trying to escape desperately.

Actions.

>Focus on the Inquisitor!
>Grab Bismark and run for it! (Agility, VERY HARD)
>Focus on the Marine!
>Focus on the girl!
>Flee!
>>
>>400344
>>Focus on the Inquisitor!
>>
>>400344
>Focus on the Inquisitor!
>>
>>400344
>>Focus on the Inquisitor!
>>
You focus on the Inquisitor!

What do?

>Pounce him and try to rip off his throat! (Agility, HARD)
>Pack him into your slime! (Agility, HARD)
>Coerce him into lowering his weapons! (Charisma, ULTRA-HARD)
>Nom? (Agility, HARD)
>Vacuum, of course! (Agility, HARD)
>Shift back into human form!
>Write-In
>>
>>400377
>>Pack him into your slime! (Agility, HARD)
>>
>>400377
>Pack him into your slime! (Agility, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10
>>
Rolled 11 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400400
>>
Rolled 15 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400400
Nice digits
>>
Rolled 16 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400400
>>
16+10=26
Minor Success!

You rush past the marine, and grab the Inquisitor, forcing him into you. A few bolts whiz past your head, and mini-explosions fill the room, but most just reflect off your gelatinous body.

What do you do with the inquistior?

>Slowly digest him.
>Nah, just leave him stuck in there.
>Try to shift him to a more uncomfortable spot.
>Write-In
>>
>>400425
>Nah, just leave him stuck in there.

As a bullet deterring charm
>>
>>400425
>Nah, just leave him stuck in there.
>>
>>400425
>>Nah, just leave him stuck in there
>>
You don't change his position.

The marine uses his Flamer against you, which ignites you, and is burning you like a motherfucker. You can barely see, and you are taking heavy damage. Also, the Inquisitor is burning alive.

Actions.

>Stop, drop and roll!
>Fuck, find water!
>You can fight through this, right? (Body, HARD)
>Try to set the Marine ablaze!
>Try to set the girl ablaze!
>Write-In
>>
>>400471
>Stop, drop and roll!
>>
>>400471
>You can fight through this, right? (Body, HARD)
>>
>>400471
>>You can fight through this, right? (Body, HARD)
QM, what girl are you talking about? Did I miss something?
>>
>>400483
Bismark's date I believe
>>
>>400483

>You see the center of the room that french girl... Whatever her name was, and Bismark trying to escape desperately.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6
>>
Rolled 20 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>400493
>>400488
>>400487
Rereading that, annd I see what you're saying. I assumed it meant both were taken by the Marine and were trying to escape together.
>>
>>400497
Nice
>>
>>400497
We just became fireproof
>>
20+6=26

Critical Success!

Fire? What fire? You don't even feel the fire even though you are flaming hot (in more then one way, of course.)

You are on fire but suffering no damage somehow. You also have limited control over if it burns or spreads near you. The Inquisitor is also not really burning alive any more.

What do?

>Grab Bismark and flee! (Agility)
>Focus on the Marine!
>Focus on the girl!
>>
>>400520
>>Focus on the girl!
Interrogate her
>>
>>400520
>Focus on the Marine!
Gotta capture him
>>
>>400520
>Focus on the Marine!

Time to add a legit SPESS MUHREENE to our collection. Channel the Trazyn!
>>
Marine it is.

What do?

>Try to absorb him! (Agility, ULTRA HARD)
>Try to damage his armor! (Body, HARD)
>Coerce him? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>Flee! With Bismark! (Agility, HARD)
>Vacuum! (Agility, IMPOSSIBLE.)
>Write-In
>>
>>400544
>Coerce him? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
PUPPY EYES
>>
>>400544
>>Write-In
Immobilize him with our slime. It worked on Ren, a little bit.
>>
>>400565
Let's do this one.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10
>>
Rolled 6 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400577
Either this, or jam the gun.
>>
Rolled 19 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400577
>>
Rolled 9 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400577
>>
>>400584
nicely done.
>>
19+10=29

Great Success!

You throw a ball of burning slime straight into the marine's helmet visor, blinding him and slightly dissolving the paint near it.. He unleashes another burst of his Flamer, which only serves to set you more on fire, and does nothing else.

Actions.

>Throw more slime! (Agility)
>Damage his armor! (Body)
>Coerce him? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>Flee with Bismark! (Agility)
>Try to absorb him! (Agility, VERY HARD)
>Hide! (Agility)
>Write-In
>>
>>400609
>>Throw more slime! (Agility)
>>
>>400609
>Throw more slime! (Agility)
We capture him once he cant move
>>
>>400609
>Throw more slime! (Agility)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10
>>
Rolled 11 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400632
>>
Rolled 12 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400632
>>
Rolled 3 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400632
>>
Rolled 10 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400632
>>
12+10=22

Minor Success!

You toss some slime straight onto his armor, adding additional weight. It doesn't seem to do much, however.

He draws his Chainsword, and moves to attack you!

Actions.

>Evade! (Agility)
>Slime his chain-sword! (Agility)
>Attempt to take this opportunity to absorb him! (Agility, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>400663
>>Attempt to take this opportunity to absorb him! (Agility, HARD)
>>
>>400663
>Attempt to take this opportunity to absorb him! (Agility, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10
>>
Rolled 19 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400685
>>
dice+1d20+10
>>
Rolled 7 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400685
>>
Rolled 3 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400685
H E R E S Y

>>400692
Anon, in the thing above the main text box it says options. That's where you put the dice
>>
19+10=29

Great Success!

He charges you, and you quickly give him a hug, absorb him. You jiggle around for a little bit, and you have quite a bit of weight around your stomach area, slowing you down.

What do with him?

>...Consume him.
>Consume his armor!
>Consume his weaponry.
>Leave him be.
>Write-In
>>
Rolled 11 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

Yep, my bad.
Hoping it not to be one.
>>
>>400699
>>Consume his weaponry.
good luck invading our dimension now fags.
>Write-In
Disarm that inquisitor that's stuck in as well.
>>
>>400699
>Leave him be.
>>
>>400699
>>Leave him be.
>>
>>400699
Let it go after digesting its flamer. Flaming wolfguy?
>>
You consume his weaponry, and turn to the girl... She fires a bolt shot, and hits you straight in the leg. (-1200 HP)

Actions.

>All will be inside you, one way or the other! (Agility)
>Seduc- You mean, Coerce! (Charisma, HARD)
>For betraying Bismark, and me to an extent! There is only one punishment... Getting sliced! (Agility)
>Write-In
>>
>>400723
>All will be inside you, one way or the other! (Agility)
>>
>>400723
>Seduc- You mean, Coerce! (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>400723
>>All will be inside you, one way or the other! (Agility)
>>
>>400723
>Seduc- You mean, Coerce! (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>400723
> let her join kwisitor and mareen in your slime. All aboard!
>>
Anons, do you not wanna know who she is, and why she did what she did
>>
>>400723
>All will be inside you, one way or the other! (Agility)
>>
>>400742
I'd love to learn more about her, when she's in a dungeon cell.
>>
>>400723
>All will be inside you, one way or the other! (Agility)

>>400742
She is a member of the inquisitors cohort and obeys their command or alternatively she is just being mind controlled or rewarded for her assistance. Either way we are going to slime that bitch.
>>
>>400742
Thats why were putting her in our slime so we can have Ren interrogate her in the dungeon
>>
>>400742
Of course, but we can interrogate her in our slime, from which she won't bolt us.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10.

>>400754
You can't interrogate while someone's in your slime, since they're effectively submerged while in it.
>>
Rolled 6 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400761
S L I M E
>>
Rolled 1 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400761
Huh. We may want to get some air to them then. Maybe pull their heads out only?
>>
Rolled 20 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400761
Well, good point. Keeping the debriefing in the dungeon then.
>>
Rolled 12 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400761
>>
>>400765
oh. shit, sorry.
>>
File: Rad Skeleton.gif (523 KB, 500x281)
523 KB
523 KB GIF
>>400766
>>400765
CRITICAL SUCCESS FAIL
>>
>>400765
The slime train occurs to have brakes
>>
>>400765
>>400766
Oh boy
>>
...A one and a twenty.

1
20

Critical Successful Failure?

You attempt to absorb her, and she narrowly dodges towards Bismark. In response, you grab her and forcibly shove her into your slime, and realize that... Well, you were standing on Bismark. And absorbed him, oh well. You also find that the chainsword IS STILL RUNNING in your guts, and after a few minutes of retching and hoping that it'll just dissolve or something, you think it's run out of fuel. If you weren't gelatinous, that would of fucking sucked a whole lot more. (-2000 HP)

Actions.

>...Try to get home through the portal.
>Nah, just head back to Bismark's apartment.
>Write-In

Also, you cannot shapeshift with people in your slime, keep that in mind.
>>
>>400787
>>...Try to get home through the portal.
Gee, better hope We've learned how to make some of those healing potions.
>>
>>400787
>>...Try to get home through the portal.
>>
>>400787
>...Try to get home through the portal.

Why not? Sure we might dissolve them all in stomach acid or get a space marine tumor but we should still be able to shapeshift.
>>
>>400787
Let us show to Sweden the might of nerdism with our new IT engineer.
>>
You decide it's probably best to head home about now.

PoV change time!

>Claw's Escape!
>Renexizious and the Short, Over-intoxicated Drunks (S.O.Ds)

>>400791
...Unless you are actively digesting them, then they'll just slide off you and if you are... Well, your stomach will fucking rupture, killing you instantly. I don't think anyone wants that, really.
>>
>>400800
>Renexizious and the Short, Over-intoxicated Drunks (S.O.Ds)
>>
>>400800
>>Claw's Escape!
Let's quickly bring him home, then go to Ren
>>
>>400800
>Renexizious and the Short, Over-intoxicated Drunks (S.O.Ds)
>>
>>400800
>>Claw's Escape!
>>
>>400800
> Claw apotheosis
>>
Claw's escape is a go.

How the fuck are you going to escape Paris?

>...First, go into a nearby store and steal their soda. Of course.
>Break into Bismark's apartment and steal back your computer. Carefully.
>Bee-line straight for the Nazi's place or whatever so you can go back.
>Carefully sneak around to the Nazi's place, no need to get in the newspapers or anything. (Agility, HARD)
>Rampage! Rip and Tear throughout the city! (Body)
>Write-In
>>
>>400838
>Break into Bismark's apartment and steal back your computer. Carefully.
>>
>>400838
>Bee-line straight for the Nazi's place or whatever so you can go back.
>>
>>400838
>Break into Bismark's apartment and steal back your computer. Carefully.
>>
>>400838
>...First, go into a nearby store and steal their soda. Of course.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10 to see if you are detected trying to get your computer back.
>>
>>400843
This, then the computer.
>>
Rolled 2 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400847
>>
Rolled 6 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400847
>>
Rolled 16 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400847
>>
Rolled 11 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400847
>>
Rolled 7 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400847
>>
Rolled 7 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400847
We're very hard to pin down at times.
>>
Rolled 16 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400847
>>
16+10=26

Great Success!

You carefully kick down the door to Bismark's apparently, "carefully" unplug the computer and absorb it, and see that... Well, you've gotten slime all over the carpet. Well. Shit.

Actions.

>Find some soda!
>...Don't forget the plans to Hansodr! Take them as well! (Free Action)
>Sneak back to the laboratory.
>Charge towards the laboratory!
>Rampage!
>...Bismark said not to get slime all over his apartment. Well, you already did... Might as well slime it up in here, completely.
>Take a nap for a little while.
>...Does the fridge have any food?
>Write-In
>>
>>400867
>Find some soda!
>...Don't forget the plans to Hansodr! Take them as well! (Free Action)
>>
>>400867
>...Don't forget the plans to Hansodr! Take them as well! (Free Action)
>Sneak back to the laboratory.
>>
>>400867
>...Don't forget the plans to Hansodr! Take them as well! (Free Action)
>Sneak back to the laboratory.
>>
>>400867
>>...Don't forget the plans to Hansodr! Take them as well! (Free Action)
>Sneak back to the laboratory.
>Steal soda for Ren to recreate.
>>
>>400867
>Find some soda!
>...Don't forget the plans to Hansodr! Take them as well! (Free Action)
>>
Roll me a 1d20 to find Soda.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>400894
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>400894
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>400894
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>400894
Level up our soda slueth skills
>>
>>400902
Saved!
>>
20

Critical Success!

You fail to find any soda in the fridge... But you remember, that Bismark got groceries from... Somewhere. You follow the scent of Bismark and his groceries (which you also stole) and find a small store. You walk inside, calmly going to the freezer aisle. You find that your leaving a heavy trail of slime. The freezer aisle doesn't have much, and your stomach growls, hungry. You haven't exactly eaten for two days. You shake this out of your mind, and find a cooled aisle, and see quite the motherload... One of the store employees is loading soda into the aisle shelf, sees you, and screams.

Actions.

>Just take one soda box.
>Take two.
>Take three...
>Take all of them, and pack them into your slimy embrace!

Also...

>"Shop" for anything else? (Specify)
>Proceed to checkout, maybe you can just buy these like a normal person.
>Snatch and grab!
>Write-In
>>
>>400921
>Take all of them, and pack them into your slimy embrace!
>Snatch and grab!
>>
>>400921
>Take all of them, and pack them into your slimy embrace!
>Snatch and grab!

Snatch and grab is something that a normal person would do, right?
>>
>>400921
>>Take all of them, and pack them into your slimy embrace!
>Snatch and grab!
>>
You hug and absorb the boxes then flee, like a normal person, right?

You flee and head towards the laboratory, stealthily.

Roll me a 1d20+10 to see if you can get inside stealthily.
>>
>>400921
>you forget the WoR collectibles! There is a plastic italian engineer!
>>
Rolled 19 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400942
>>
Rolled 14 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400942
Just imagine a giant semi-gelatinous wolf sneaking around with a space marine, an inquisitor, and 2 random mooks in him.
>>
Rolled 3 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400942
>>400952
This quest is awesome but need drawfaggotry.
>>
19+10=29

Great Success

You find a vent and climb into it, squeezing very, very tightly. You somehow fit, though going back is going to be hell on earth to actually do. You continue crawling through the vents, and are about halfway through the laboratory.

Roll me a 1d20+10 to see if you can make it.
>>
Rolled 8 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400962
>>
Rolled 7 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400962
>>
Rolled 1 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>400962
>>400960
Also forgot to add an entire stores worth of soda in him also.
>>
>>400969
Ninja wolf is not ninja when full of people and soda
>>
>>400969
NO.
That is his second roll, it shouldn't count.

>>400952
First roll here
>>
You crawl through the vent, but the Marine nearly frees himself.

"I AM FR-"

You stuff him back into your slime, but fall through a section of the ventilation, right next to the coffee machine where a scientist is. He looks somewhat concerned.

Actions.

>...Come here often? (Charisma, HARD)
>...Ask if he can give you a cup of coffee. (Charisma, HARD)
>...Nom? (Agility)
>ABSORB SCIENTIST. (Agility, HARD)
>...Ask if he can give directions. (Charisma, HARD)
>D-Do you play WoR? I-I'm trying to find collectibles. (Autism, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>400975
Just a 1, its not the end of the world yet. Besides that roll was for the more recent post.
>>400983
>ABSORB SCIENTIST. (Agility, HARD)
>>
>>400975
But, first was for stealth, second for crawl. What is the problem here anon?
(Aside of nat 1 of course. Poor peoples currently in Claw.)
>>
>>400983
>...Ask if he can give directions. (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>400983
>D-Do you play WoR? I-I'm trying to find collectibles. (Autism, HARD)
>>
>>400983
>>...Nom? (Agility)
>>
>>400999
Upside down satanic trips confirm. Switching to this.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10 for eating.
>>
Rolled 7 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>401011
>>
Rolled 17 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>401011
>>
Rolled 17 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>401011
>>
17+10=27

Great Success!

You shut your mouth on the scientist and swallow him. You really did need lunch, after all. You continue to delve deeper into the facility...

Roll me an additional 1d20+10 for sneaking.
>>
Rolled 20 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>401026
>>
Rolled 2 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>401026
>>
Rolled 17 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>401026
>>
>>398239
Never forghetti.
>>
You sneak easily, slipping past countless guards and you finally reach the other side of the facility, right where you came from... You hop through a small ventilation shaft into the portal room, and quickly jump into it... No one besides the devoured scientist saw you, you think.

Claw has mutated!

Select from the following.

>Stable Mutation.
>Unstable Mutation.
>Extremely Unstable Mutation.
>Ultra Unstable Mutation!
>Upgrade!
>Attribute Point.
>>
>>401046
>Unstable Mutation.
>>
>>401042
The twenties are strong with Claw-senpai
>>
>>401046
>Ultra Unstable Mutation!
>>
>>401046
>Ultra Unstable Mutation!
>>
Roll me a 1d50, and start praying.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d50)

>>401071
*gulp*
>>
Rolled 38 (1d50)

>>401071
>>
Rolled 42 (1d50)

>>401071
>>
Rolled 33 (1d50)

>>401071
Inb4 mutation that destroys claws Agility
>>
Rolled 29 (1d50)

>>401071
Saving with a nat 50
>>
Rolled 25 (1d50)

>>401071
>>
>>401111
Oh, okay. At least I got quads.
>>
29

You have gotten...

Four Armed!

Claw grows an additional two arms in Wolf Form. Of course, whether these are humanoid, scythe-like, sectopods, etc... Is up to you guys.

Bonuses.

+1 to Body, +1 to Agility. Additional attack per turn.

Just specify what you want his two new arms to be like.
>>
>>401126
Steampunk or yametekudasai tentacles
>>
>>401126
Just the same as his regular arms
>>
>>401139
No, it has to be biological, and no tentacle shit.

Ignore what I put up earlier about sectopods, since I need an example.
>>
Same as his regular arms, alright.

Now, time for Ren.


You are Renexizious, and currently you are slightly pissed off at the dwarves.

"What do you mean, we can't come in?"

"Sorry, but I've got word from the King to not let any fuckin' elves in!"

"...None of us are elves."

"Are ye' sure? We saw ye' have a dragon, and only three types of people a dragon... Orks, Elves, and those edgy Chaos faggots!"

"...Goddamn it! Just fucking let us it!"

"Sorry, but unless you can prove ye' ain't all elves, associated with elves, business dealings with elves, talked to elves, thought of elves, unknowingly did any of the previous things, or at any point refused alcohol, we have reason to suspect ye' might have a knife-ears among ye' little band. Or at the very least, might be hiding among ye'."

Actions.

>How the fuck am I supposed to prove this?
>Get the fuck down here or I will tear off your fucking head, then show it to your fucking king and then to your family, just for saying we might fucking elves among us. (Intimidation, HARD)
>...We didn't want to enter your fucking place anyways, did we?
>I'll make a better dwarven stronghold, with less elves then you lot!
>Dragon Form is a go.
>Write-In
>>
>>401148
Very well, thought it would have fitted the character.
I propose long fingers for better computer playing and miniatures painting.
>>
>>401158
>>How the fuck am I supposed to prove this?
>>
>>401158
>Dragon Form is a go.
Time to make the hoard bigger
>>
>>401158
>Dragon Form is a go.
If it works this time.
>>
>>401158
>Can I prove that we have no elves here by all drinking a barrel of something alcoholic?

Vodka, connecting people.
>>
While we're here we should get a sword fitting for Renexizious
>>
"What the fuck did you just say to me?"

You prepare to transform, but the Dwarf laughs.

"Are ye' trying to take a shit or something?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M BUSY!"

You yell up. The dwarf continues laughing.

"Yer' in front of a dwarven fortress lad. Be thankful we didn't kill ye' with stray blunderbuss fire and cannons!"

Actions.

>...What will it take to prove to you I'm not an elf?
>Let me fucking in or else! (Intimidation, VERY HARD)
>I'll make a better stronghold!
>...See if the vampire has any spells to help you out.
>Write-In
>>
>>401213
>>...What will it take to prove to you I'm not an elf?
>>
>>401213
>Let me fucking in or else! (Intimidation, VERY HARD)
We have fear pheromones right?
>>
>>401245
>>401245
Yeah, but right now he's out of range. Max distance is 3 city blocks, but only in your biggest form.

And right now you are a human-sized half-dragon, meaning it's current distance is about ten feet.
>>
>>401213
>...What will it take to prove to you I'm not an elf?
>>
"...Fine, what the fuck will it take to prove we aren't elves?"

"Easy! You sign the contract?"

"Wait... Contract?"

"Of course! Only an elf wouldn't sign a contract!"

He lowers down three pieces of paper, both rather well made, ornate pieces of gold and gemstones embedded in them... You have half a mind to take them right now.

Actions.

>Sign that shit!
>...No, hang on, read the terms and conditions.
>Steal it!
>Refuse to do so.
>Write-In
>>
>>401295
>>...No, hang on, read the terms and conditions.
>>
>>401295
>...No, hang on, read the terms and conditions.
>>
>>401295
>...No, hang on, read the terms and conditions.

Excuse me for a moment while I look at and admire what brutality and elegance it would've taken to turn a useless tree into useful piece of paper like this.
>>
You attempt to read the terms and conditions.

Which are in dwarven.
And you can't read dwarven.

Shit.

Actions.

>...How hard can it be to learn from a piece of paper? (Linguistics, HARD.)
>...Wait, what does this contract say? I can't read it.
>...This contract is supposed to fuck is over, isn't it?
>I refuse to sign this!
>Sign it anyways!
>Write-In
>>
>>401343
>...How hard can it be to learn from a piece of paper? (Linguistics, HARD.)
>>
>>401343
>>...How hard can it be to learn from a piece of paper? (Linguistics, HARD.)
>>
>>401343
>...How hard can it be to learn from a piece of paper? (Linguistics, HARD.)

Would it make sense to say the Dwarven is similar to Hebrew?
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3
>>
Rolled 6 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>401393
>>
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>401393
>>
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>401393
>>
Rolled 16 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>401393
>>
9+3=12

Great Failure!

I can't fucking read this. Got any advice, Flames?
Have you tried eating it?
No... The paper is too elegante to eat.
Have you tried setting it on fire?
You would know since you breathe fire, so no.
Have you tried freezing it?
No.
...Try seducing it.


You shake Flame's thoughts out of your head.

Actions.

>Sign, I guess.
>Nope!
>...Is there any other way I can prove?
>...Summon Smaug to help you learn Dwarven. It might make this a little less hard. (Summoning, Linguistics, HARD)
>I refuse to sign this!
>Write-In
>>
>>401453
>...Summon Smaug to help you learn Dwarven. It might make this a little less hard. (Summoning, Linguistics, HARD)
>>
>>401453
>...Summon Smaug to help you learn Dwarven. It might make this a little less hard. (Summoning, Linguistics, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 2d20+3
>>
Rolled 17, 4 + 3 = 24 (2d20 + 3)

>>401495
>>
Rolled 4, 1 + 3 = 8 (2d20 + 3)

>>401495
>>
File: 160dbwp.jpg (51 KB, 321x460)
51 KB
51 KB JPG
>>401526
I have failed.
>>
17, and a one.

You summon Smaug.

"WHAT DO YOU NEED!"

"Just help me learn what this fucking says."

He lands on the piece of paper.

"THIS LETTER RIGHT HERE MEANS O."

"Thanks. I guessed that since it was a fucking O in the first place."

You swat Smaug off your paper, and get an idea.

"...Maybe they won't mind if I just... Take a few gems, right?"

You pocket every valuable on the document, which you calculate as being worth a few thousand dollars, and you sign the paper.

"Oi! Why isn't this document signed?"

"I-I don't know."

"Well then laddie, come on in!"

The gates slowly creek open, and the little dwarf runs down.

"Now, we'll be putting ye' under a random search! Come on, lad."

"W-What? Why?"

"Because we have reason to suspect, laddie!"

Actions.

>Fine, I have nothing to hide.
>Oh. Look at that, some gemstones... And gold are in my pocket. Sorry about that.
>I demand a trial! This is unfair!
>I refuse to go! I'll just stay out here!
>Write-In
>>
>>401570
>Write-In
"All I am carrying is some loot from the orks..."
>>
>>401570
>Fine, I have nothing to hide.
>>
"All I am carrying is some loot from the orks. I have nothing to hide."

"Ah! Good then, now, follow me."

You follow the Dwarf, towards a table.

"Please put looted valuables in this section, and stolen valuables in this one."

Actions.

>...This must be an honour test, and you are a dragon! You will put the stolen valuables in the stolen valuable section!
>...You aren't an idiot. Put everything in the looted section. (Charisma)
>Put some trinket in the Stolen section, maybe he'll believe it.
>Write-In
>>
>>401661
>...You aren't an idiot. Put everything in the looted section.
>>
>>401661
>...You aren't an idiot. Put everything in the looted section. (Charisma)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7 to see if he believes you.
>>
Rolled 8 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>401693
>>
Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>401693
>>
Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>401693
>>
Rolled 2 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>401693
>>
8+7=16

Minor Failure!

You set everything into the looted pile.

"...Is that all?"

"Yes, of course it is."

He gives you a stare.

"...I don't believe you. I will send for your looted valuables to be assessed by a craftsman and sold in order to pay for the cost of the contract."

"What? You can't do that?"

"I just did. Consider yourself lucky you aren't behind bars, ye' strange human."

Actions.

>...I will have my revenge, I swear it!
>Alright. I guess.
>Don't lay a goddamned hand on my valuables. (Intimidation, HARD)
>Punch this fucking dwarf for his impudence to his better! (Body, HARD)
>I swear on my family's honour, that I did not steal anything from the contract. (Charisma, HARD, Lie)
>Write-in
>>
>>401798
>Punch this fucking dwarf for his impudence to his better! (Body, HARD)
>>
>>401798
>Punch this fucking dwarf for his impudence to his better! (Body, HARD)
>>
>>401798
Punch this intoxicated beard that just took our stuff
>>
Roll me a 1d20+15.
>>
Rolled 15 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>401850
>>
Rolled 13 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>401850
>>
15+15=30

Overwhelming Success!

You punch the Dwarf, sending him flying and knocking him out. You grab your things and leave his little shitty booth behind, and meet up with your compatriots. Richard asks a question.

"...What exactly are we supposed to do here?"

"We're going to the surface, Richard..."

Actions.

>...And loot these dwarves along the way.
>...And conquer these dwarves along the way.
>...And destroy these dwarves along the way.
>We're just going up to the surface, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>401896
>We're just going up to the surface, alright?
>>
>>401896
>...And loot these dwarves along the way
>>
>>401896
>...And conquer these dwarves along the way.
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>401896
>...And conquer these dwarves along the way.
>>
And conquering the dwarves along the way...
Are you talking to me?
No!
Aww...


You whisper in Franziska's ear.
"You wouldn't by chance know..."

Actions.

>Would you know any counterspells?
>Would you be up for resurrecting a "few" dead Orks outside the Karak?
>Do you know any dwarves here?
>Nevermind... I'll just think of something on my own.
>Write-In
>>
>>402008
>Would you be up for resurrecting a "few" dead Orks outside the Karak?
>>
"...Would you be up for some necromancy?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Eh... I would prefer to get a stronghold on this world."

"Why?"

"Besides the fact the Dwarves mountains of loot? Well..."

"That depends, Ren..."

Actions.

>...I can promise you power under my regime. (Charisma)
>You'll enjoy my presence a whole lot more. (Charisma)
>I promise to end this world's conflicts, if you help me. (Charisma)
>I won't kill you and your misbegotten kind. (Intimidation, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>402069
>You'll enjoy my presence a whole lot more. (Charisma)
>>
>>402069
>You'll enjoy my presence a whole lot more. (Charisma)
>>
>>402069
>You'll enjoy my presence a whole lot more. (Charisma)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7
>>
Rolled 19 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>402117
>>
19+7=26

Great Success!

"Well, I can promise you'll enjoy my presence a whole lot more..."

"O-Oh. Well... I suppose." She blushes a little. Which for an undead vampire, means her cheeks just turn a little more pale.

"Good.... Good."

"Now... I suppose your talking about the Orks outside?"

"Of course. Go out there and raise them, or something."

"How hell are we going to conquer the Karak with only a few thousand undead Orks? We'll need more, Renexizious... And what about Richard?"

Actions.

>...I already have a plan. Just go out and do your thing, alright.
>I still need to get Richard on my side, so hang on.
>Who cares about Richard?
>...Good point. Never mind then.
>Write-In
>>
>>402173
>...Good point. Never mind then.

The dwarves here can be useful allies or acquaintances in the future, Just use the thousand or so reanimated orcs as a distraction.
>>
>>402173
>...I already have a plan. Just go out and do your thing, alright.
>>
>>402173
>...I already have a plan. Just go out and do your thing, alright.
>>
>>402173
>...I already have a plan. Just go out and do your thing, alright.
>>
"I already have a plan. Go out and do your thing, alright?"

"Alright then."

She struts back towards the exit, leaving you with a slightly confused Richard.

"Where's Franziska going?"

Actions.

>...Want to help me take over this Karak?
>Oh, I left something outside the Karak.
>...Why don't we get something to drink, brother?
>Write-In
>>
>>402284
>...Want to help me take over this Karak?
>>
"Well, if you must know, I am planning to take over this dwarven Karak."

"Oh, by Bahamut, as soon as we walk into the damned stronghold you want us to take it over."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Because they have done no wrong! You are just invaded for your personal domain!"

"Brot-"

"I know how this works, and I won't let you and the vampire prey on innocents!"

Actions.

>Come on, we're family! It's in our blood to conquer new lands! (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>Yeah, just betray your brother, why don't you? That's surely more honorable in the eyes of Bahamut, isn't it? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>...It was an idea, come on man, let's not jump to hasty conclusions. (Charisma, Lie)
>Write-In
>>
>>402412
>Brother, I've heard tales of the atrocities that are committed daily in this world. I want to stop them but I need a foothold in this world, it's a necessary evil.
>>
>>402451
This.
>>
>>402412
>Write-In
Inform our brother of the crimes the dwarves have committed against us. For example continously shooting an alley in the butt, threatening us with blunderbusses and cannons and they discriminate against dragons.
>>
>>402412
>Write-In
"I plan on adding them to my nation, I fail to see how giving them representation in government, higher living standards and various improvements in their life elsewhere is preying on the innocents.

This is before even mentioning the fact that I wish to end the major strife's of this world, as it benefits me and the people of this world as I am sure you are aware. If you think this world is better divided with blood being spilled than united under my leadership then I will attempt to restrain you, for you are my brother and I shall be merciful to the last for you."
>>
>>402467
ally*
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7
>>
Rolled 12 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>402496
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>402496
>>
Rolled 8 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>402496
>>
12+7=19

vs
17+6=23

Great Failure!

"Brother, I have heard tales of the atrocities that are committed daily in this world. I want to stop them but I need a foothold in this world, it's a necessary evil. Not to mention I plan on adding them to my empire , I fail to see how giving th-"

"What would you know of this world? We've never visited it, nor heard about it! Yet you trust a... A vampire of all things. You know that it's misplaced to trust one!"

Some of the nearby dwarves start looking towards you, interested in the conversation.

Actions.

>Let's talk elsewhere, shall we? (Charisma, HARD)
>She's more then a vampire, you know! (Charisma, HARD)
>Goddamn it, I'm not arguing with you any more. You want to take the side of the dwarves, go ahead.
>Write-In
>>
>>402554
Damn it, didn't see your roll there, sorry.
>>
>>402561
>She's more then a vampire, you know! (Charisma, HARD)
Can we change this so it's not HARD?
>>
>>402606
...Change it? In what way?
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7, anons.
>>
Rolled 20 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>402661
>>
"She's much more then a vampire, you know. She was a Sister of Sigmar, a nun or something like that."

"...A vampire nun?"

"Yeah, and you think she's evil? She saves lives, she wanders into plague zones no one else wants to go into."

"O-Oh. Well... T-"

"Not to mention, I don't think you've ever talked to her.."

"W-What?"

"Yeah. You two should get to know each other, since it's obvious neither of you actually talked together."

"W-Well... I suppose."

"Good. And if a woman like that condones me taking over this Karak... Then it isn't exactly as evil as you thought, is it?"

"I suppose not... Unless your trying to get inside my head."

"Would I lie to you, brother?"

"I-I don't know. I need a drink."

"You do that."

He walks off to the nearest sight of merriment...

Actions.

>With that done... Sabotage the city gates. (Agility)
>Find the commander of the garrison... Maybe you can secure his loyalty.
>...Richard could use a friend, you guess. Join him.
>Beforehand, you should see where the treasury is. For purely economic reasons.
>Write-In
>>
>>402706
>Find the commander of the garrison... Maybe you can secure his loyalty.
>>
>>402706
>Find the commander of the garrison... Maybe you can secure his loyalty.
>>
You look for what seems to be a barracks, and go inside it... Plenty of dwarves seem to be sleeping or getting drunk. Some minor gossip later, and you discover that the captain of the gaurd is in fact, the local king's fourthborn son.

"Oi, what do you want?"

"I'm here to make you an offer..."

"For what?"

"Well... Join me in my attack later tonight, and I promise..."

Actions.

>I promise no one will he harmed in the coup. (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>...Stab him in the throat with your claw, you doubt a Dwarf would betray his comrades. (Agility)
>Release a pheromone!
>I promise you will rule... (Charisma)
>Write-In
>>
>>402767
>I promise you will rule... (Charisma)
>>
>>402767
>Release a pheromone!
Loyalty
>I promise no one will he harmed in the coup. (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>>
>>402767
>I promise you will rule... (Charisma)
>Release a pheromone!
Loyalty
>>
>>402801
This. He can be a figurehead/advisor of sorts.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7
>>
Rolled 12, 9 + 7 = 28 (2d20 + 7)

>>402812
>>
Rolled 7 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>402812
>>
>>402824
Ok... no idea how I made that into 2d20.
>>
Rolled 17 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>402812
>>
17+7=24

Good Success!

You release a pheromone... That of loyalty.

"...Serve me, and your loyalty will get your far... You will rule instead of your father."

The dwarf nods.

"...I will get me' men's loyalty. Don't ye' worry."

You nod, and leave. You hear alarms go off, and hear shouting. It seems Franziska's undead horde has made it to the walls. Dwarven civilians run past you, bearing axes and all sorts of weaponry.

Actions.

>...Sit and watch, hopefully this goes all according to plan.
>...Take care of the gate. (Agility)
>Try to get the civilians to put down their arms, somehow. (Charisma, HARD)
>Write-in
>>
>>402856
>...Take care of the gate. (Agility)
>>
Roll me a 1d20-6
>>
Rolled 2 - 6 (1d20 - 6)

>>402877
>>
Rolled 7 - 6 (1d20 - 6)

>>402877
>>
Rolled 7 - 8 (1d20 - 8)

>>402877
>>
7-6=1

Epic Failure!

You attempt to avoid notice, but by virtue of having scales, and trying to avoid notice, you've attracted notice.

"Where are you going? Get over here and hold the line!"

On a slightly better notice, you feel much more powerful. You suspect that the shapeshift thing has worn off.

Actions.

>...Erh... I left something in my other pants. (Charisma, HARD)
>Shapeshift baby!
>You guys should probably start running for it. Just saying. (Intimidation, HARD)
>Hey, what's that over there? (Charisma)
>Write-In
>>
>>402962
>Shapeshift baby!
>>
>>402962
>Shapeshift baby!
>>
>>402962
>Shapeshift baby!
Time to show these presumptuous dwarves our power level
>>
You start shapeshifting into your glorious dragon form, and stretch. Feels nice after being cooped up like that for so long.

The milita realize you are in fact, the big threat instead of the undead, and raise their shields in a testudo-like formatinon. You are directly in front of the gatehouse, and have a few actions.

>...Bash the gate down. (Body, VERY HARD)
>...Step on the militia. (Body)
>Breath attack! (Body, HARD)
>...Demand their unconditional surrender or their lives. (Intimidate, HARD)
>Oh, a formation? That just means organized eating. (Body)
>Release a pheromone.
>Write-In
>>
>>403009
>...Demand their unconditional surrender or their lives. (Intimidate, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+8 for scarring dwarves.
>>
File: Spoiler Image (8 KB, 509x619)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
Rolled 15 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>403027
I feel so bad for doing this to the dwarves. They're always my favorite race/faction in fantasy
>>
Rolled 11 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>403027
>>
15+8=23

Great Success!

"Mortals! I demand your unconditional surrender, effective immediately!"

You see some of the garrison marching towards you, led by the garrison commander you promise power to. The milita falters, and breaks into a rout.

"Where are you going? The fight is far from over!"
You hear a shout, and see a heavily armoured dwarf, with a rather ornate crown wielding a golden axe, the armor has engraved runes, and is brimming with magical energy.

"Fight fer' yer' homes! Fight fer' the gods!"

A few of the militamen regroup in sight of their king.

"Slay the beast! For the gods!"

The king seems to charge towards you, but the garrison takes up a shield wall in front of you, and the garrison commander comes forward.

Actions.

>...This king must learn to surrender. Demand he do so immediately, and without hesitation. Even his own men turn against him. (Intimidation, ULTRA-HARD)
>Ha. Let them fight, that will only tire them further.
>Breathe fire into the streets, taking care of the dwarves, hopefully. (Body)
>Freeze the streets with your breath! (Body)
>Crush the king. (Body)
>Write-In
>>
>>403082
>Freeze the streets with your breath! (Body)
>>
>>403082
>Crush the king. (Body)
>>
>>403082
>...This king must learn to surrender. Demand he do so immediately, and without hesitation. Even his own men turn against him. (Intimidation, ULTRA-HARD)
>>
Rolled 3 (1d3)

Rolling.

1=Freeze
2=Crush.
3=Intimidate.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+8.

Additional +2 if you can argue why he should surrender.
>>
Rolled 17 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>403124
>>
Rolled 1 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>403124
Would you rather all your citizens die?
>>
>>403159
Of all the times to use barbaric, this looks like the time guys.
>>
...Use barbaric anons?

>Yes.
>Nah.
>>
>>403169
>Yes
>>
>>403169
>Yes.
>>
>>403169
>Yes.
>>
Yes it is.

Roll me a 1d20 for this shit.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>403186
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>403186
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>403186
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>403186
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

"Surrender, or else I'll fucking kill everyone in this God-forsaken karak, and make sure that your descendants will never find the remains, unless you surrender, right fucking now, you little kingly shit. I've eaten plenty of kings like you, and let me say I am not fucking impressed in any sense of the word."

19
Borderline Success!

"...I see. In the interests of my people, I suppose I will talk."

"I won't be denied my inheritence, you son of an elf!"

The garrison commander, which is his fourth-born son lunges straight towards his father with his axe.

Rolling for what happens.
>>
The dwarf's axe plunges deep into the king's neck, and he falls to his knees, looking up at his son. The dwarf pulls his axe out, and leaves him to bleed out. He takes the dwarf king's crown and puts it on his head.

Actions.

>That shit ain't cool anywhere. Nom the garrison commander.
>Congratulate the garrison commander.
>You couldn't really care about the affairs of those two mortals, really.
>...Time for some ironic punishment. Use Necrotic Healing on half-dead dwarf king. (Necromancy)
>Write-In
>>