Australia was considered as an irrelevant nation for too long. From irrelevance they quickly overtook the United States as the world first shitposting and banter power.You are one of these new breed of humans, yet more ambitious than any other before. You want to use the power of your digital dejections to create a new world order.You are an Australian.And it is time to shitpost.You wake up and go straight to your shitposting battle station, how will your quest start? >Draw your action>Vote for best drawing to continue the story
>>3872Ah, sorry, I thought you faggots weren't soft cunts Nevermind the fucking rules then. You have more urging matters to attendYou forgot your password>What was it again?
After struggling like a bastard to type cocks a certain amounts of time, you remember your nationalistic intents. To no avail. You try to use your favorite word in the mix "cunt", but it fails. You try cocks once more before realizing that your country is full and that belief is shared by your computer.You now have access to your VERY ORGANISED DESKTOP.>What do?
>>3997put porn in trash, like a good christian
>>3997go on /b/ or /soc/ and see if there's an aus thread up, see if anyone we know is getting their nudes posted
>>3997open up chrome, download a better web browser
>>4007>>4031>>4019>not recognizing the ancient art of self-shitpostingClearly, the true Aussies are asleep.
>>4038I'm here cunt, and chrome is a great browser
>>4038They ain't true Aussies if they're asleep at 10:40pm of all times, the weaklings.So go burn yourself and you shitty google botnet you worthless shill.
>>3861>You are an Australian.Fuck you, I'm not.
>>3997write an angry post on normiebook about how shit australia is
You try to look for sudoku.exe, but fails to do so.You open chrome, or at least try.It is so slow....So in the meantime you put the porn in the trash, which it rests with all the remaining CPAh, it's finally open. But wait, this isn't google chrome! It's internet explorer ?Worse, your favorite webpage doesn't even seem to load!>What do?
>>4056you are now cunt>>4057it's shit because of the fakin muzzies comin in, takin all the fakin jobs aye. they should shit up their own fukin cuntry, fukin indo cunts
>>4063I make sure the LAN cable is connected.>>4067I'm not, cunt-cunt.
>>4063I call up the fucking dickheads at tesltra
>>4094>>4063switch to optus
"1d6">>4074Everything seems to be in check, but wait! there is a wild emu logged insidemeanwhile, the page finally loads along with your favorites.>>4094>>4104You decide to make a move, but the emu in your pc decided to eat your phone, you'll have to ask a friend on normiebook for a call if you decide to go through
>>4126I open up normiebook to message sheila for a root
Rolled 5 (1d6)>>4126Also OP is retarded>>4133You go to normiebook.But alas! She was the one to message you first!Also, you seem to have 2 notifications.>What do?
>>4185Detele the Normiebook account.
>>4185send sheila a dickpic
>>4185Tell Sheila to ready the ICBMs for your world domination plan.
>>4185>>4213start by nuking melbourne
The emu in your pc remains calmMeanwhile you open Sheila's textboxOh the horror! She has denied your attempts!Regardless the plan must go on. Dick pic, then ask her to ready the ICBMs in normie talk
>>4257I message Big Bazza "The Computer Hacker" to backtrace her IP so I can show her my dick in person
>>4257It doesn't appear to work,you will try Big Bazza Next
>>4306Since normiebook is completely useless to advance your plans, go check plebbit.
>>4293Hmmm... the fare is quite expensive, will it be worth it?>>4326After the time it took you to open normiebook, you reconsider.
>>4343ask him if he'll take a half empty goon bag and an old bong as payment
>>4343fug m8 that's half my monthly internet billI decide it's worth it and paypal him the money
>>4343Go spam /tg/ with ningyo hime.jpg
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>4355>>4357Time to roll!>>4364What a wonderful idea! Once you've shown Sheila your dick to launch the ICBMs, you will enjoy some classical shitposting
>>4379Rejoice! You will be able to shitpost for another day! He gracefully accepts the deal and you are now free to continue your adventure debtless.
>>4389find another sheila, pay her with whatever drugs and/or grog we have left
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>>4426Enact your plan of world domination by recruiting shitposters through normiebook and/or finding /v/ and /b/fags.
>>4406Major success! But wait, she's fucking a kiwi?
>>4455FUCK HER ANYWAY, IT'S WHAT A TRUE BLUE AUSSIE WOULD DO
>>4455I call animal control "there's a sheep using normiebook"
>>4445Only an idiot answers seriously
>>4490>>4482You accidently confuse both thoughts
>>4520Fuck, I go stock up on frangers
Rolled 5, 6 = 11 (2d6)ok
>>4520dont forget the boozebest we can do is get totally sloshed before going in
>>4532No need, your yearly supply is holding strong>>4540However, it looks like you only have one standing bottle of booze and only one barrel of an unknown substance. That might not be enough.
>>4572trade frangers for booze
>>4572>>4575trade frangers and piss barrel for more booze at the local pub
>>4575>>4584>tfw a random aussies comes to exchange piss and frangers for boozeWhat do you say to the barman?
>>4613"Oi dickhead! Got a buncha piss that taste like goon and a box of frangers, what'll ya give us for it?"
>>4613"oi, my piss is like 90% alcohol cunt, and I got a barrelfull here, sell it off as fuckin XXXX premium or somethin, and give me som of the pure stuff so i can make mor of it. i'll throw in som frangaz too aye, bonus deal"
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>4623Barman is not amused.>>4633But then with your skillful display not unlike that of an Australian businessman, you manage to make the barman dubious. He thinks about it for a second
>>4645The barman considered your argument then replies with a smile smug, symbol of his total acceptance of your conditions. You gain all the booze on the shelf.
>>4670I hold up my end of the bargain then it's off to shitpost
You now have a crate full of boze. You can safely go back to shitpost before Sheila #2 arrives
>A local Australian develops a marsupial-shit powered motor! It produces vast quantities of electricity off of a limited supply of shit!This is my action
While coming home, you notice a flyer praising the action of an australian greating shit powered energy. "One more step to domination", you think as you reach for your monitor. >>4711 your action will be relevant later on What do now?
>>4729/tv/time to retrieve that bbc cuck pron from the trash
>>4729Begin researching electron degeneracy, Australian shit motor and quantum mechanical engineering. Then order a powerful quantum compressor, components for shit-motor and some uranium with bitcoins on silkroad.
>>4729You open up 2 tabs, the automatic warning puts up. It seems you've been shitposting a tad too much before the start of this story.You then open your book on electron degeneracy to forget about this tragedy. It's boring but efficient at making you forget who you are.
>>4729Make a few racebait threads on /tv/ and gamergate threads on /v/. After my threads get enough replies it's off to /pol/ to make a thread complaining about /pol/ invading /v/ and /tv/, citing my own threads as proof.
>>4759Download more MB's to make sure you don't run out of them.
>>4759fuck it, let's drive to the turnbull cunt's place and nick his fibre. then we can shitpost all we want.
>>4764Voting for thisSound plan
>>4759Begin researching mechanical applications of electron degeneracy via quantum compression. Don't forget to order components. Also include a fusion reactor or the necessary components to the list of items to be ordered.
>>4764All of these shitposting ideas seem great, but unfortunately the part of your brain who had the idea is labbeled /FU/RH, you start posting furies along this line of conduct.the furry plague is back to 4chan.
Ah, but enough shitposting.Someone is shouting on the other side of the door.What do?
>>4818FUCK OFF YA DICKHEAD! I'M BUSY
>>4822It doesn't work, the voice is now coming from the window
>>4818Break the door out.
>>4832You break the door
>>4831OI CUNT FUCK OFF OR I'LL FUCKIN GLASS YA CUNT
>>4844The now open door lets open a rather feminine but childish voice, as if trying to imitate a sheep "But I'm sooooooo hooooorneeeeey"
>>4858Grab the fire axe and kill it before it kills you with its horns.
>>4858glass her, then fuck the little skank's corpse
>>4871The emu ate it>>4878Which weapon will you use, the glass on the floor (she apparently broke the window) or the booze behind you?
>>4886Grab the emu and kill it with it before it kills you with its horns.If something eats the emu, eat it, then grab the emu.
>>4886is that even a question cunt? smash the bottle of VB you were downing and shank her right in the gut
You charge at the girl with the emu and the bottle.But upon your arrival in from of her it seems you have consumed too much shrooms. She has the body of a penguin. This fact renders you unable to attack her.You consider starting osmosis.
>>4927We need to fuck that penguin
>>4927Hug the penguin with your dick.
>>4927harass the penguin
You pull down your pants and sit to expose your magnificent body. That seems to make her very happy. That makes the emu very angry. The bottle is blushing.Little do they know you are about to assault the pinguin.
>>4957Realise you gained a lot of weight and look painfully hideous, then break the emu's neck in anger.
>>4966>aussie being self-consciousTry to stay in character m8
Use emu to masturbate
>>4979Aussies are /fit/ you fool>>4966>>4957Decide I need to hit the fucking gym and release this anger brah
>>4957The death of the emu has aroused the pinguin, who eagerly awaits your next move as you rush forward. >Note, the emu is lying on the ground next to her
>>4989while shitting all over the place
>>4999try spinningthats a good trick
shit on the floor
>>5001>>4989You decide to fuck the emo while shitting uncontrollably, only to throw it where you left it before.Then you spin. This appear to make the penguin drool. It seems she will make a move soon.
>>4999Have a romantic meal with the penguin, cook the emu.Emu meat is unironically tasty
>>4996>Aussies are /fit/ you fool>>5017lick the emu
>>5017((I approach the lovebirds.))"G'day mates, what are ya buggers up to this bloody arvo? I'm Bruce Briggs, and I'm looking for someone."
>>4957What the fuck are you doing? Why do you have a kosatsu? Thoughts of licking the bird come but are held for later. Then you crouch to get on the same level as the bird while you yell>"G'day mates, what are ya buggers up to this bloody arvo? I'm Bruce Briggs, and I'm looking for someone."She thinks it's Australian poetry
>>4257>actually start conversations with oiSave me Aus quest I don't want to be a parody of our proud traditions.
You serve the emu, with the two best parts. The head and the anus, which you then proceed to lick.The Penguin is questioning your life choices.
>>5055find out ur qt penguin waifu is actually part Mongolian, then begin seizing, spouting /int/ memes regarding the phrase "khan'd"
>>5075Question the penguin's life choices.
>>5078You finally understand. It is the ultimate revenge on your country. The Penguin does not understand your rage. You then proceed to talk about the meaning of life. The Penguin is lost.
>>5105wake up at Bondi Beach and realise last night never really happened. You were smashed through the fucking roof
>>5083You wake up. You were smashed through the fucking roof.
>>5154Build a computer and go online for the sake of shitposting.
>>5158You would look for a computer, but you're too smashed to move. Instead you just lie there like a piece of shit. But wait...
>>5176Speak to Dazza the Lifeguard, flip the bird to the channel 9 camera on the way
>>5190You try to talk to Dazza the Lifeguard, but he's too far away and doesn't hear your plea, the Punguin is getting dangerously close.>Wat do
>>5203find a drowning chink to save, fucking asians swarm Bondi like flies to shit and they never know how to swim
>>5203Bury the penguin.
>>5203yell to that cunt to be careful of the shark
>>5203Release the dingos.They can take the penguin on
>>5131You bury the penguin up to the neck. It will probably die of hunger in the best case scenario, or get killed by an emu. Darwin's law, bitch. You decide that the process is too slow and start releasing the dingos. Now you can focus on your true objective.You make a checklist:-Tell that cunt to be careful of the shark-Safe a drowning chink to save-Observe the penguin getting eaten by the dingos?What shall it be?
>>5258Our most important task is stopping the boats
>>5258Fend off the dingos, then eat the penguin yourself.
>>5258steal a lifeguard boat, save a chink, then shove the chink on an asylum seeker boat and sink it
>>5265You take a few bites out of her face. The tears come out. >>5264Well the man in the boat was stopped. That cunt was not careful of the shark.
Rolled 6 (1d6)>>5287Too late for the Lifeguard boat, you look around for chinks to save then kill.
>>5287You find half of the population of Taiwain drowningYou of course decide to help them all and apply the protocol to the letter.The sharks and underwater emus feasted that day.
>>3861Will Steve Irwin be great emperor?
>>5308You install gentoo in your brain. You can now shitpost just by thinking about it.
>>5341Remember that we agreed to pay the penguin with drugs and booze
>>5341>>5426Resurrect the penguin so that you can pay it.
>>5426>>5430You heal the penguin. She forgives you. Meanwhile you prepare the booze and some heroin.
>>5450OH SHIT!!!THE COPS!
>>5450Remember that the booze and heroin were in exchange for sex
>>5469Little did you know the lifeguard was a cop all along! And alive!The Penguin is oblivious to the scene and just requests the trade to be concluded asap.
>>5508drink the booze like it would change your situation
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>5512You look at the cop straight in the eyes and drink the booze. The cop is very confusedThe penguin thinks you're preparing yourself for the big moment and awaits confidently. >What now?
>>5542Commence the big moment
>>5469You unbury her, only to push her tiny penguin body on the ground.The big moment can start, until the watchful eye of justice.She is still wearing her very weird swimsuit.>What do you do?
>>5542How about the quantum compressor, shit motor, uranium, and fusion reactor that we ordered?
>>5624You undress her completely. But you will never see it (Blueboardので)You notice that her belly button is an actual button, what do?
>>5542Your instinctive reaction is to push the button. Which of course, makes all your subconscious efforts to world domination worthwhile.For you see, this penguin was actually a remote. See, you made a nuclear central using your shit motor and fusion reactor, which you used to build a few ICBMs. Now, you remember. You must unite with the penguin to launch them. They are fully armed and ready to go.>Do you do it y/n?
>>5783But you decide to instead work against your entire plan on world domination and defuse the penguin. But you are still kind of confused as to how.
>>5790Nah, defuse the bomb on her back. Then press the button
>>5790Look for more buttons and more ways to press them with your dick
>>5804You do not fall in the trap and defuse the bomb from her back. But you also notice a few more buttons on her back.>What do?
>>5820Input the secret password and unlock Extra Mode.
>>5820Looks like a keyboard, cunt.We know what to do.It's time to cyber bully a lebo
>>5831Fuck off cunt were full
EXTRA WEAPON UNLOCKED
>>5852S H U TI TD O W N
>>5852Fukeen dorito, noice m8Eat that shit. Cop can't have any. He can go the penguin if he wants though.
>>5856It is too late. The dorilluminati is forever now.
>>5866It can forever be in my fuckin belly.I got the munchies after them shrooms. Get.In.My.Belly.Cunt.
>>5866You eat the dorilluminati.You feel entrusted with a great power. All your wishes can and will come true. Such is the power of the dorillluminati>Chose wisely
>>5894More bandwidth to shit post and a laptop to post on.Failing that, get the less the fuck off me land.Abbos sure wish they had fuckin illuminati dorito eh?
>>5909Lebs. Phone is a shit
>>5909Your wish is the dorilluminati's command. The world bandwith has been swaped. Australia enjoy the combined bandwidth of the rest of the world, while the rest of the world have to share the old Australian bandwidth. Lebs no longer exist. A secret genocide has been carried in your name.
>>5926As it should be.Give all Commonwealth nations a shred of extra bandwidth. Take it from the Arabs. Cunts.Hmm, we gotta think big. We need a guide. Abbott, I summon you!
>>5936Abbott has been summoned. Problem is the teleportation didn't work so well. But he is here, and has been summoned.
>>5952We gotta ask the mad cunt for a quest. Or a target. Who do we bully?
>>5952>it's only his head"Oi, cunt! You keep a good head on your shoulders!">Make the eat the remains of penguin-bot
Put dick in Abbott mouth and make him suck it
>>5990Penguin bot is already living with the policeman and has left the story. >>5985In his all mightiness, Abott answers that Canadians must be bullied to death >A. FUCKING. LEAF
Put dick in Abbott mouth and make him suck it then proceed to bully Canadians.
>>6012Okay. So.Hear me out guys.We make a Quebec pro independence thread and same fag like hell.Get Bruce to give us a hand. Abbott can have Sheila as a reward.Ded root anyway.
>>6012It's time. Prep up those 'dude, weed, lmao's
>>6020The Dorilluminati delivers. >>6028The shilling is successful. UN grants Quebec independence, and replaced the US with Quebec at a permanent member of the security council.Sheila #2 alias Penguin Bot is now in a double relationship with the policeman and Abbott.
>>6043Two countries with one thread, fuckin noice.Now that the frogs are free, it's not like Canada even needs to exist anymore. It's just Far North America, which is itself Far North Mexico.Suggest to our pommie mate Harry that nows the time for the Queen to get her back taxes whilst we post pro-Mexican shill.
It seems the dorilluminati is getting weaker. The end is near.It has used a great part of its power to make shitposting lethal. >>6075Mexico dominates all of south america now. Including the Falklands.
>>6107Use the remaining power of the dorilluminati to fill up as much as my bandwith allowance for this month as I can
>>6157You now have instant unlimited internetOne last wish and the dorilluminati shall be banished from this realm.
>>6176WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?The paradox is forcing the doriluminati to stay while absorbing more and more of the world as it must stay to serve, but can't do so since it has no power. It must consume. More. And more.Soon the world will cease to exist if things are left so>What do?
>>6208shit doriluminati out and eat it again
>>6224I don't know if you've ever shat a paradox, but it doesn't feel right. For all we know it might kill you.Try anyway?
>>6208Tell it not to consume shit.
>>6241Tell it to get the fuck off our land, we're full, we don't need any degenerates on our land
>>6241OI DON'T PUSSY OUT M8
>>6243>>6249Then the dorilluminati consumes itself. It is now a ball containing the essence of void. Which you have managed to shit with no problem.
>>6268Lick it. Does it taste like licorice?
>>6258You eat the ball of void. Nothing happens. Except for the penguin taking control of the ball, but that's irrelevant.
>>6293Tastes like chicken.
>>6296Promptly begin ignoring the ball and it's new host who isn't there
>>6296If penguin is now the ball then what about Abbott?
>>6320You are mistaken, Abbott is now married to the penguin and transferred part of themselves in the ball. The ball is effectively their child. This family photo proves it.
>>6368Kick the ball-baby.
>>6382You kick the ball. It is made of void. Your foot is sucked into the ball-baby. You get it out just in time
WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR GOAL?FOCUS
>>6407>>6398Make the baby into shitposting baron who will overtake the world for your sake.
>>6407You focus really hard...And you see that Australia is now the leader power in all fields. The dorilluminati completed the quest for you. But.... your hunger for shitposting cannot be contained, and even the all mighty OP is a slave to your shitposting needs. The baby, being born the dorilluminati is now a smug god of shitpost. Made to claim the human lives soiled by shitposting. This is how Australia became the most powerful entity in the universe.
>>6470Fight the anti-shitposters who fought and defeated shitposters long time ago in galactic battle.
With this, extra mode ends. Along with your quest. The shitpost was victorious. For generations to come people will both cheer and hue your name, for you have changed the very rules of the world in your favor. You remain a cunt though, not even the dorilluminati could change that.
>>6511You need to buy the DLC GOOD EYE SP8CE M8: shitpost edition to continue.
>>6527Is 83$ enough?
>>653483$ is always enough
>>6540Okay fine, buy it.
>>6550You buy the DLC GOOD EYE SP8CE M8Do you install it or not?
>>6565Yes. Also install BonziBuddy.
You instal bonzibuddybonzibuddy takes over this questthis is now a quest about bonzibuddy
>>6588Ask BonziBuddy to give the 83$ back.
>>6662Good, you seem to have the situation well under control, I leave this quest to you
>>3948>implying this shit hole ever stop being greatWhat a shit cunt.
>>7692>fuck all internet for the next 20 years >lockout laws stopping cunts from getting fuckin munted, and bud being illegal with the highest weed smoker per capita proves we're a bunch of apathetic, dumb cunts unphased by important as fuck political fuckery
>>3861Here's the story of AustraliaA land both fair and greatOn the Eleventh of septemberAn Shitposting StateThis was much against the wishesOf every government,Whose posters tried to break themAnd make them all repent.But all Australian will shitpost through thick and thin,They keep their land a free land stop the rapefugees coming in,They will keep them north of the Arafura, till that sea's running dry,And this might land will prosper for Australians never die.They can send their men to derailThey can shout their words of cuckBut the cost of keeping this board freeCan never be too greatFor our men and boys are fightingFor the things thay they hold dearAnd this board and all its postersWill never disappear
>>3861Australia was considered as an irrelevant nation for too long.and it always will be because shitposting basement dwellers on 4chan don't actually amount to anything. ~The end