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File: Dragon_Quest_Image.png (413 KB, 1828x1510)
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Character Sheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU/edit

Twitter: QuestingQM

Last time on Dragon Quest, we decided to talk to Dad, we also left things up for the imagination, and Flames decided we should RAID!

You quickly down the stairs, anxiously to talk to your daughter, Maria. As you enter the courtyard where you know Maria spends so much of her time, either reading or relaxing in the cool, Swedish winter, you see it is abuzz with courtiers, servants and slaves of all different races, and you finally see Maria, her green scales providing a bright contrast, for an otherwise dark and somewhat gritty area. You then see Elizabeth, in her human form.

“Ah, Ren. I was just talking to our daughter, now… If you’ll excuse me, I must be getting on with my day.”

She walks past you, and the smell of roses remains on the wind. It clearly isn’t coming from her… You hear a crinkling of a note behind you, coming from Maria.

“Father? Do you need me?”

“Erh… Yes. I simply came to ask if you’d be willing to come with me to relax with Joan.”

“Oh… I wasn’t expecting you to want to hang out with me.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, I mean… You're always busy and talking to someone else.”
You loudly sigh, you’ve already dealt with this today. The last thing you need is another envious daughter.

“...Come, child. You need to spend time with your old man.”

“Oh, thank you father! I will make you proud!”

“...Proud when I just want to see how my daughter is doing?”

“Of course!”

You lift her up, placing her on your shoulders. If it wasn’t for your ridiculous strength, lifting a half-dragon while only in your dragonblood form would be… Hard. Hell, maybe even impossible.

“That’s my girl, Maria. Now, hold on.”

You rush through the crowds of servants and slaves, somewhat amazed that a human (Not that they can tell you are in dragonblood form) is carrying a half-dragon around. For them, that would be in the realm of fantasy.

Eventually, you reach the Guest Chambers, where your father (and most of your kids) are staying. You’ve never really looked at the chamber before, mostly rushing through. The room has a rather ornate timber wall, like most of the palace. Besides most of the delicate oaken doors, is a small stone pillar, similar to that of cobblestone and have a rough exterior, not to mention the rather old and creaky pine floorboards beneath you. Cobwebs, mostly in the ceiling are strewn throughout it, no doubt none of the servants could ever reach that high, or simply didn’t care to. A few paintings dot the walls, mostly of old kings of past...

Continued, since 3000 limit was not enough for my writing.
>>
>>367140
I love you too, text formatting.

...Including that one rather obnoxious king you served before. Only now, do you notice his face. That of a young boy, no doubt nineteen or perhaps even younger. You accidentally killed his father, then after helping him restore the Swedish Empire, you took his life and stole his realm… You sigh at remembering that. He was getting in the way of your ambitions, but nonetheless, you always wondered if you could've just let him go that day, banished him or something like that… God, now you’re sounding like a human.

“Father?” You look up, and see that she’s… Worried about you, apparently.

“Hm?”

“What’s wrong?”

“...Just remembering some old memories. Don't worry Maria.”

You take Maria off your shoulders, and knock on your father’s door. It creaks open.

“Come on in, I didn’t lock it!”

You go in, and see your father and Joan... But
Flames, decides to wake up in your mind.

Hey, Ren! You know what you should do?
Why the hell does everyone keep calling me Ren?
...Because Ren’s shorter to say.”
“I am a dragon! I demand respect, I demand longer names! I demand this from my subjects!
I’m not a subject, you know.
Damn it, you are! You are just a second head with no control! You are literally just a voice I put in that head so my insane plans and lusts and desires sound sane!
That’s not true… Is it?
You're damned right it is! I could take you away at any time! Hell, I’m literally just yelling at myself in my mind!
...Then stop doing it, but here’s my idea…”
“What is it?
We raid a village!


You look around, seeing if anyone noticed your confusion. Maria’s just drinking a glass of mead you’ve just handed to her, and Joan’s busy showing off her rapier and amulet to Granddad.

What villages will you raid?

>...Raid an English village.
>Raid one of your villages. Even though it's kind of a dick move.
>Raid a German village.
>Raid a Spanish village.
>Write-In
>>
>Raid a German village.
or
>Raid a Spanish village
just how strong their armies are,OP?
>>
>>367213
The spanish are quite strong, they've recovered from the civil war a few years ago and nearly entered WW2, so they are rather strong and stable.
>>
>>367169
>Raid something in South America.

They are used to this and distance does not matter in dragon form.
>>
>>367235
Seems good enough.
>>
>>367235
>>367235
Eh, It would take half a day to get there, and another half a day to get back.
>>
>>367249
Family road trip!
>>
>>367257
this desu. Plus lets us scout out the rest of the world for later invasions.
>>
...Damn it, there goes my plotline.

Writing in a little while.
>>
>>367287
Cheers QM!
>>
"Let's raid a village... A south American one, maybe."

Maria chimes in.

"Sure!"

Joan says something.

"...Raid?"

"Yeah, raiding. It's a family tradition."

"...What do we raid for?"

"...Anything you want, really."

"Oh, cool."

You get Joan and Maria on your back, and set off for South America... Now of course, you have a few choices...

>...Raid a village in the Brazilian Empire.
>...Raid a village in Chile.
>...Raid a village in Venezuela
>Raid a village in Communist Cuba.
>Raid a village in Panama.
>Raid a village in Argentina.
>Write-In
>>
>>367287
Look at the bright side, OP. At least the party didn't split up.
>>
>>367322
Somewhere on the brazilian steppe! Maybe they have BUTTER too!
>>
>>367322
Communist Cuba. At least Brazil is an empire.
>>
>>367336
This.
>>
Alright, looks like Communist Cuba.

It takes you nearly half a day to fly there, mostly because of your incredible weight... As you circle around Cuba, you have a few choices.

Actions.

>...Attack a small farming village, you don't really want loot or anything, and you doubt these South American dirt farmers have any.
>Attack a town or something, even a communist regime might have some valuables.
>...Attack a city, like Havana or something.
>...Why not go the full mile and attack the capital? Eat some people, hold Castro hostage, the good stuff.
>Write-In
>>
>Raid a village in Communist Cuba
Let's not get Zika.
>>
>>367377
>...Why not go the full mile and attack the capital? Eat some people, hold Castro hostage, the good stuff.
Let's stick it to the commies.
>>
>>367377
>...Why not go the full mile and attack the capital? Eat some people, hold Castro hostage, the good stuff.
>>
>>367382
aww yiss
>>
>>367378
>>367382
So which one do you want?

>...Attack a city, like Havana or something.
>>
>>367389
Look at what I replied to ya dingus.
>>
>>367396
My bad.

So we are raiding the capital? Will we add another nation to the Empire?
>>
...Why not attack the capital?

You soar down straight towards the capital... When you see strange orange lights coming towards... You? They seem like rather large metal circles, but with fire coming out behind them... What are they?

Actions.

>...Dodge, whatever those things are. (Agility, HARD)
>Meh, mortal weaponry can't hurt you. Take it like a man.
>...Try to eat whatever those thing are.
>Just crash into the ground as fast as possible, maybe then you'll dodge whatever those things are.
>Write-In
>>
>>367413
>Just crash into the ground as fast as possible, maybe then you'll dodge whatever those things are.
>>
>>367413
Eat it!
>>
>>367438
We can eat a battleship with all that ballisitcs on it after all.
>>
>>367413
>...Try to eat whatever those thing are.
>>
Roll me a 1d20. I will only accept the first roll, and this will semi-permanently decide whether you can eat and resist SAM Missiles.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>367451
>>
>>367454
14

Borderline Failure!

You open your jaw to swallow whatever's coming towards you, and a series of explosions begins in your mouth. Rather spicy, you think to yourself.

SAM Missiles can be eaten, but if they hit you regularly, you will take damage.

You crash into the ground, and roar loudly, buildings flatten besides you as your behemoth size easily crushes them. You have a few ideas of how to perform this raid...

Choices.

>...Storm up to the "president" palace. You'll encounter plenty of resistance, however.
>...Tell your girls to loot wherever they feel like, but be careful, and don't get captured or anything like that. (Free Action)
>...Find out where the national butter storage is.
>What's a raid without civilian casualties? Besides, you haven't really eaten to your true scale for a while.
>Write-In
>>
>>367484
>Nom our way to the BUTTER!
And
>Girls, have fun! Just don't be out too late or get caught!
>>
>>367484
>>...Tell your girls to loot wherever they feel like, but be careful, and don't get captured or anything like that. (Free Action)
>>...Find out where the national butter storage is.
>>
>>367484
>>...Tell your girls to loot wherever they feel like, but be careful, and don't get captured or anything like that. (Free Action)
>>...Find out where the national butter storage is.
>>
"Alright, girls, have fun. Don't be out too late or get caught though."

"Aw, don't worry Dad!"

The slide off your back, and run off to do some looting. However, you have some more pressing matters. Such as, where is the butter storage?
You look around, and see four medium-sized silos with a cow's head symbol on it, in what seems to be the docks.
Some tanks shells harmlessly glance off your scales, and infantry bullets do little to impede your progress towards the Docks. You come up to the silo, where Flame decides to speak.

"...Can we boil it this time?"
"You don't like frozen butter?"
"At the very least, could we dip the boiling butter in something? It doesn't exactly taste amazing raw."

Actions.

>HERESY!
>...Why not? Breadstick tanks, or something like that.
>You prefer frozen butter. And you cant dip anything in frozen butter.
>Write-In
>>
>>367533
>You can however, dip frozen butter in molten butter.
>>
>>367533
>>...Why not? Breadstick tanks, or something like that.
>>
>>367533
>...Why not? Breadstick tanks, or something like that.
>>
"Sure, why not?"

Flame nods, and burns the silo until it's glowing red. You easily bite off the top of the silo, and crunch down on it. You reach for a tank, and dip it in boiliing butter... You must say, this is your most ingenious plan yet! You let it bask for a minute, before pulling it out, and eating it. Hm. You must say, the butter, the humans, and the metal mix well together. You continue your dipping while under heavy artillery fire, but none of it actually can injure you, unless you shapeshifted to be smaller or something. After a while, you grow bored of plucking tanks and jets and dipping them, besides the butter storage is growing low.

Actions.

>...Move onto another pasture, like the presidential palace! Maybe you can demand they become a colony or something.
>...You know, your growing tired of these arrogant mortals attempting to kill you with their little tanks and soldiers... Take to the skies, and use your two breaths to clear them out. (Body.)
>Check in on your girls.
>Hm, maybe you should demand women or something. Traditions are there for a reason. (Intimidation, HARD)
>...Why not have a little fun? Your pheromones spread out over a city block in this form... Might want to spread something around.
>Write-In
>>
>>367589
>>Check in on your girls.
>>
>>367594
This.
>>
>>367589
Oh, spread heavy lust pheromones on your way to your daughters.
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>367589
>>Check in on your girls.
>>
You try to find your girls, and you find them in a bank, well... Inside a bank. You rip off the roof to a crowd of terrified civilians.

"What are you two up to?"

Maria shrugs.

"Joan wanted to see if we could rob a bank."

"...How's that going?"

Joan answers.
"...We can't get the vault door open."

Actions.

>...Well, sorry but you two are going to have to figure that out by yourselves. I'm teaching you a very important lesson... Independence.
>Let me get that for you... Should be easy, to be honest.
>...Why don't you two try to take power from the humans here? It'll be fun.
>Write-In
>>
>>367650
>>...Well, sorry but you two are going to have to figure that out by yourselves. I'm teaching you a very important lesson... Independence.
>>
"I would like to help, but both of you are going to have to figure that out for yourselves. I'm teaching you both a very important lesson... Independence."

"...Joan had the idea to hijack a tank."

"Oh. Well..."

"Yeah. Don't worry about us Dad, just have fun, alright?"

"Alright, just... Just don't explode, alright?"

"We promise, alright Dad?"

"...Fine. I'll get out of your scales then."

Maria answers.

"Thanks Dad."

Well... Hopefully they don't explode, get shot, or anything like that.

Actions.

>Well, let's try out the pheromones on a civilian populace. It'll be entertaining, that's for sure.
>Go to the Presidential palace.
>...Check in on your girls again, you never know if they might need help or something.
>Demand their surrender or something. (Intimidation, HARD)
>...Fly around, and set shit on fire! (Body)
>...What exactly is that white smoke in the distance, looks like some-sort of electricity plant, but not...
>Just go around, crushing buildings and stuff, It'll be fun.
>...Try to freeze some civilians so you can have more slaves.
>Demand womenfolk! (Intimidation, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>367718
>>...What exactly is that white smoke in the distance, looks like some-sort of electricity plant, but not...
>>
>>367718
>>...What exactly is that white smoke in the distance, looks like some-sort of electricity plant, but not...
>>
>>367718
>...What exactly is that white smoke in the distance, looks like some-sort of electricity plant, but not...
>>
You stomp towards what seems to be a power plant. Some men in hardhats flee at your approach, and you see two... Somewhat silo-like towers. Hm...

Actions.

>...Grab one of them and demand to know what this is.
>...Looks like it'd be fun to destroy. Collapse them via crashing into them.
>...What's exactly in the silos, or whatever they are?
>...Burrow beneath it, what's the worst that could happen?
>Write-In
>>
>>367753
>>...Grab one of them and demand to know what this is.
>>
>>367753
>...Grab one of them and demand to know what this is.
>>
You pick up one of the engineers, who looks like a Spaniard, rather then a Cuban.
He speaks something in Spanish, which you don't understand.

Actions.

>...Learn another language. (Lingustics.)
>Crush him, find someone who can speak another language.
>Write-In
>>
>>367767
>>...Learn another language. (Lingustics.)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3 to learn Spanish.
>>
Rolled 17 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>367779
>>
>>367782
One more language to add to the list.
>>
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>367779
>>
>>367782
17+3=20

Good Success

You quickly learn spanish.

"Mortal, what is this electric plant for?"

"I-It's for nuclear power, sir. It's top secret!"

"...What does this... Nuclear power do?"

"...Castro is using it to power his nuclear bombs and his palace."

"...Castro has nuclear weaponry?"

He nods his head.

"Yes, though I don't know how."

"...Tell me, what exactly does he plan to do with the nuclear arsenal?"

"...I don't know sir, I'm just an engineer. Could you let me go, please? And not from a great height?"

Actions.

>...You could prove useful in my own nuclear project... Now, hold on to my back.
>Well... No. Sorry, but if he has his own nuclear arsenal, I can't leave anyone alive who knows about it, so he can't actually use it.
>Let him go, he served you well.
>...Eat him.
>Write-In
>>
>>367804
>>...You could prove useful in my own nuclear project... Now, hold on to my back.
>>
>>367804
>...Eat him.
>>
>>367804
>>...You could prove useful in my own nuclear project... Now, hold on to my back.
>>
>>367804
>Let him go, he served you well.

It is nice to see people scream usefullinformation rather than "I do not consent"
We should encourage the practice.
>>
"...Well, I won't drop you. Unless you let go, of course. Now, get on my back and hang tight..."

"Wait, wha-"

You put him on your back. He will hopefully serve you well.

Now... What to do with this power plant and it's engineers.

The Engineers.

>...Crush them, eat them, that whole thing. Can't let Cuba get ahead in the missile program.
>...Enslave them, you like the sound of a nuclear program.
>Offer them higher pay and non-communism. That's a much better offer, and you'd rather not enslave smart people who could escape or worse. (Diplomacy)
>...Unleash a pheromone.
>Write-In

And now for the Nuclear Plant.

>...Destroy it, though make sure to run for it afterwards.
>...What happens if you eat enriched uranium?
>Leave it be. You're going to control this island soon enough, might as well leave the infrastructure as intact as possible.
>Write-In
>>
>>367842
>>Offer them higher pay and non-communism. That's a much better offer, and you'd rather not enslave smart people who could escape or worse. (Diplomacy)
>>
>>367842
>>Offer them higher pay and non-communism. That's a much better offer, and you'd rather not enslave smart people who could escape or worse. (Diplomacy)
>>...What happens if you eat enriched uranium?
This is a bad idea, but I love it.
>>
>>367842
>Offer them higher pay and non-communism. That's a much better offer, and you'd rather not enslave smart people who could escape or worse. (Diplomacy)
>Leave it be. You're going to control this island soon enough, might as well leave the infrastructure as intact as possible.
>>
>>367842
>Offer them higher pay and non-communism. That's a much better offer, and you'd rather not enslave smart people who could escape or worse. (Diplomacy)
>Leave it be. You're going to control this island soon enough, might as well leave the infrastructure as intact as possible.
>>
>>367842
>Offer them higher pay and non-communism. That's a much better offer, and you'd rather not enslave smart people who could escape or worse. (Diplomacy)
>...What happens if you eat enriched uranium?
>>
Waiting ten minutes.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Whelp, roll me a 1d20+8, while I roll for what you do to the plant.
>>
Rolled 13 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>367894
>>
>>367842
Eat Uranium
>>
>>367894
Shit, I keep forgetting to put what you do.

1=Leave it be.
2=Eat the Uranium.
>>
>>367900
13+8=21

Success!

"Alright, listen up. You can choose to work for me, or you can just waste away on Cuba. I offer higher wages, and much better living and working conditions."

Some of the workers nod at this, but one man yells something towards you.

"What about our families? We don't want to leave them here if we dessert, they'll be killed!"

Hm... Shit.

Actions.

>...You'll personally fly them back with the engineers. Where are they?
>...Eat this man for his insolence!
>...Well, sorry but your families cannot be brought along.
>I offer you a greater deal then... The chance to become more powerful... Find a new family then. (Diplomacy, HARD. Basically, you're offering to mutate them if they work for you.)
>Write-In
>>
>>367918
>...You'll personally fly them back with the engineers. Where are they?
>dessert
>>
>>367918
>...You'll personally fly them back with the engineers. Where are they?

We are the size of a luxury liner, there is no trouble in grabing ffew more.
>>
>>367923
I know.
I triggered myself with that, and I don't want to live anymore.
>>
>>367918
>>...You'll personally fly them back with the engineers. Where are they?
>>
"Well, I can most definitely hold a few more. where are they?"

"...They are held up by the Presidental Palace, and are meant to keep us from leaving... Or else."

"Very well, I will free your families and take them along... But first... Get me some enriched uranium."

The engineers murmur among themselves, and one man takes out a notepad. They go inside to get you your uranium, and you pass the time by destroying some tanks by flipping them, and crushing some soldiers. You come back to the engineers gathered around a black case, with the one engineer still writing something.

"Move, I need it."

"What are you doing?!"

You grab it, and swallow it.

Roll me a 1d20 for what happens.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>367957
>>
>>367961
Here's hoping for more size
>>
>>367961
19.

Goddamn it. Select a mutation you guys want to upgrade, or you can choose for an Extremely Unstable Mutation.

>Upgraded Pheromones.
>Heavy Scales.
>Extreme Ice Aura.
>Genius.
>Expanded Mouth.
>Increased Wingspan.
>...Large, but keep in mind, you'll have to invest in this about 5 times to actually get any effect out of upgrading it.
>Double-Headed.
>Double-Eyed.
>Cannot Feel Pain.
>Acid Spit.
>Waterbreathing.
>Extremely Unstable Mutation.
>>
>>367985
>>Heavy Scales.
>>
>>367985
large
>>
>>367985
>>Double-Headed.
>>
>>368000
We would have to waste a ton of mutations to get anything out of large.
>>
>>368004
I know, but I still want to see what the large ending involves.
>>
>>367985
>Heavy Scales.

Stop with the heavy altirely you guys, it tickles.
>>
>>367985
>>Double-Headed.
>>
>>367985
heavy scales
>>
>>367985
>Waterbreathing.

The utility can't be denied.
>>
>>367985
>Genius.
>>
Heavy Scales wins, now choose three categories to select from.

>Ultra-Heavy, your scales now effectively weigh as much as steel, which will further slow you down. (-2 Agility), along with making you heavier, but only extremely heavy anti-tank weaponry can penetrate your scales. Artillery and lighter shells will glance off or just do no damage.
>Plate Scales, your scales form a sort of plate armour around your body. Penetration shells will get through easier, but you look much more intimidating, and get +1 to Armour in Half-Dragon Form and Dragon Form.
>Light Scales, your scales become lighter and easier to damage, but you can fly much faster without the bulkiness that heavier scales grant you. (+2 to Agility, -1 Armor)
>>
>>368048
>>Ultra-Heavy, your scales now effectively weigh as much as steel, which will further slow you down. (-2 Agility), along with making you heavier, but only extremely heavy anti-tank weaponry can penetrate your scales. Artillery and lighter shells will glance off or just do no damage.
>>
>>368048
>Ultra-Heavy, your scales now effectively weigh as much as steel, which will further slow you down. (-2 Agility), along with making you heavier, but only extremely heavy anti-tank weaponry can penetrate your scales. Artillery and lighter shells will glance off or just do no damage.
>>
>>368048
>>Ultra-Heavy, your scales now effectively weigh as much as steel, which will further slow you down. (-2 Agility), along with making you heavier, but only extremely heavy anti-tank weaponry can penetrate your scales. Artillery and lighter shells will glance off or just do no damage.
Does this weigh us down when no half-dragon or dragon?
>>
>>368056
>>368056
It will slightly in Dragonblood form.
>>
>>368048
Ultra heavy
>>
Ultra Heavy it is.

You feel an intense pain coming from your stomach, as you swallow and you nearly throw up... Instead however, your scales have become heavier... Much heavier. You leave footprints in the ground as you walk, with ease. You even hear a faint stomping noise as you move. You note that the Uranium was rather amazing in taste... But you do feel sick now.

Actions.

>...Head to the Presidential Palace, you have two things you want to do. First off, hold Castro hostage. Second off, free their families.
>...Check to see if your daughters are fine.
>Tell Flames to set some buildings on fire as you go along. (Free)
>God, you don't feel well. Rest a little while, you don't want to throw up or something since you just ate that uranium. Maybe you can rest underwater for a little while, or burrow underground.
>...Well, you are a heavily armoured monster, might as well have some fun and stomp throughout the city.
>...Take care of the nuclear missiles. You don't want a Hellgate opening up in Sweden or something.
>Spread a pheromone as you travel through the city. (Free Action.)
>Write-In
>>
>>368104
>>...Take care of the nuclear missiles. You don't want a Hellgate opening up in Sweden or something.
Fuck that noise. Fuck this noise above all others.
>>
>>368110
>Spread a pheromone as you travel through the city. (Free Action.)
As an addition, Fear pheromone.
>>
>>368104
>...Take care of the nuclear missiles. You don't want a Hellgate opening up in Sweden or something.

Also this
>>368114
>>
You start marching through the city, towards where you'd assume the nuclear missiles are, while spreading a fear pheromone. Most of the military breaks off their attack, which is rather good since they got the idea to start using armor-piercing shells, and the streets are deserted. You climb to the top of a hill, which lacks any notable features... But then again, if you were a evil dictator (Which you aren't, of course.) this is where you'd put your nuclear missiles.

Actions.

>...Tunnel downwards to find them.
>Start eating your way down there. You might as well, since it's probably reinforced with steel which you cannot burrow through. Of course, accidentally triggering the nuclear missiles may fuck you over.
>...See if you can find an entrance somewhere. (Intelligence.)
>Write-In
>>
>>368132
>...See if you can find an entrance somewhere. (Intelligence.)
Humans can't burrow, so they'll need entrances and exits.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 to find the entrance.
>>
Rolled 15 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>368157
Humans do love their automobiles..
>>
Rolled 6 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>368157
>>
Rolled 14 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>368157
>>
15+6=21

Good Success!

You carefully look over the city, most of it's slums and poor housing. Hell, if you got close to it, it would probably collapse. As you continue observing the city, you see in the horizon what seems to be reinforcements for the army. As if they could defeat you.
You carefully look at the layout of the city streets, and you find that directly across from the hill, is a rather small shack with a large garage... If you want to go into it, you'd have to shift to a smaller form.

Actions.

>Sure, let's do this.
>Shift down, but try to gas them out with a pheromone. (Intelligence.)
>...Tell Flames to stick his head into the shack, and breathe fire down the entrance to the nuclear silo. (Body)
>...Put your head into the shack and breathe ice down the entrance to the nuclear silo. (Body)
>Tunnel down through the hill anyways!
>Write-In
>>
>>368186
>>...Put your head into the shack and breathe ice down the entrance to the nuclear silo. (Body)
>>
>>368186
>>Shift down, but try to gas them out with a pheromone. (Intelligence.)
Play no fuck-fuck games with nuclear bombs.
>>
>>368186
>>Shift down, but try to gas them out with a pheromone. (Intelligence.)
>>368186
>>
>>368186
>...Put your head into the shack and breathe ice down the entrance to the nuclear silo. (Body)
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>368186
>>Shift down, but try to gas them out with a pheromone. (Intelligence.)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6, also what pheromone will you use?

>Lust
>Loyalty
>Fear
>Drowsiness
>Pleasure
>>
Also, for someone who just got here, where are we and why do they have nukes?
>>
>>368230
>Drowsiness
>>
Rolled 14 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>368230
Drowsiness
>>
Rolled 4 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>368230
>Drowsiness
That way we can take prisoners.
>>
Rolled 19 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>368230
>Lust
>>
Rolled 13 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>368230
>Lust
>>
Drowsiness wins.

19+6=25

Overwhelming Success!

You send some sleep pheromones down there, and wait a few minutes. Eventually, you shift down into your half-dragon form, and find a large tunnel and... Come across a steel blast door. If you were in your dragon form, this would pose no problem. But even then, it towers over you. You also note two sleeping guards, and what seems to be... Assault rifles? It seems at this rate, the Autokarbiner might be outdated.

Actions.

>...Attempt to lift it up. Nothing stands in your way! (Body, HARD)
>Fuck it, try to freeze it with your breath, and then punch through it. (2 Body Checks.)
>...Try to eat your way through the metal blast door? (Body, HARD, +2 from Mouth.)
>...Burrow under it! Hah!
>Write-In
>>
>>368260
>Fuck it, try to freeze it with your breath, and then punch through it. (2 Body Checks.)
>>
>>368260
>Fuck it, try to freeze it with your breath, and then punch through it. (2 Body Checks.)
>>
>>368260
>>...Burrow under it! Hah!
>>
>>368260
>Fuck it, try to freeze it with your breath, and then punch through it. (2 Body Checks.)
>>
>>368260
>>Fuck it, try to freeze it with your breath, and then punch through it. (2 Body Checks.)
Easy peasy.
>>
Whelp, roll me a 2d20+15 for PUNCHING.
>>
Rolled 13, 17 + 15 = 45 (2d20 + 15)

>>368260
>also take a rifle
>>
Rolled 20, 11 + 15 = 46 (2d20 + 15)

>>368278
>>
Rolled 14 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>368278
>>
Rolled 11, 19 + 15 = 45 (2d20 + 15)

>>368278
>>
>>368287
Guess the breath does all the work for us this time.
>>
>>368287
>>368296
I fucking love these dice.
>>
Wow.
>>368287
20+15=35
Critical Overwhelming Success!
17+15=32
Overwhelming Success!

You freeze the door into a literal block of solid ice. You poke it, and it cracks slowly... And shatters. On the other side, is a long white tile corridor, which is... It's just snow. The glass in the room has been frosted over, and it seems the guards have been put to sleep, also covered in a soft blanket of snow. What seems to be a check in office is there, and you read a sign in Spanish...

"...Genetic Testing?"

Actions.

>...Explore this facility, starting with the Genetic Testing room.
>...Make sure these guys won't die of hypothermia or something. You are after all, a nice, fascist dragon.
>No, you can sight see once you take care of the nuclear bombs.
>Write-In
>>
>>368306
>No, you can sight see once you take care of the nuclear bombs.
>>
>>368306
>...Explore this facility, starting with the Genetic Testing room.
>...Make sure these guys won't die of hypothermia or something. You are after all, a nice, fascist dragon.
>>
>>368306
>...Make sure these guys won't die of hypothermia or something. You are after all, a nice, fascist dragon.
>...Explore this facility, starting with the Genetic Testing room.
>>
>>368306
>...Explore this facility, starting with the Genetic Testing room.
>>
>>368306
>...Make sure these guys won't die of hypothermia or something. You are after all, a nice, fascist dragon.
>>...Explore this facility, starting with the Genetic Testing room.
>>
>>368306
>>368306
>>
You check the air, and realize it's fucking freezing, nearly Antarctica temperature but for you it's actually rather pleasant. Could have to do with the fact you can breathe ice and have white scales.

You haul the guards outside, where it's more warm, and go deeper into the facility. The snow-tiles don't let up, and you notice icicles forming on the ceiling, while you travel through the hallways... Then, you come to a glass sliding door, that has been welded shut. You easily kick it down, and enter the Genetic Testing room, and you hear a yell from behind you. It seems you didn't send ALL of them to sleep. You turn around, and see a scientist, with a rather good looking mustache, combined with a stubble beard, and rather muscular... For a scientist, who's armed with a pistol. He says something in English.

"Varmint! Don't come to close now, ya' hear? Or I'll blast you with old Kentucky!"

"...What the hell are you doing, yankee?"

"I'm standin' my ground! 'Merica!"

Actions.

>...No, what the hell are you doing here?
>...Put the gun down. It won't do shit against me. (Diplomacy)
>...Release a pheromone.
>...What the hell are you researching in here?
>Who are you? A cowboy scientist? Now I've seen it all.
>Write-In
>>
>>368306
Let's hit up genetics. Maybe then we won't fuck up the serum.
>>
>>368343
>...No, what the hell are you doing here?
>>
>>368343
>...Release a pheromone.
>...What the hell are you researching in here?
>>
>>368343
>...Put the gun down. It won't do shit against me. (Diplomacy)
"I think you're in the wrong country then. Are you a spy? I hear they're quite sneaky."
>>
>>368343
>...Release a pheromone.
>...What the hell are you researching in here?
>>
>>368343
>>...Put the gun down. It won't do shit against me. (Diplomacy)
>...What the hell are you researching in here?

In other news, thread 17 is now archived.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=QuestingQM
>>
>>368369
Used the wrong tag, here's the more complete list of EDQ.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=European
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>Put the gun down. it wont do shit against me.
>>
"...What the hell are you doing in here?"

"I'm a scientist for the good-old USA! Or, I was until I was kidnapped by these godless pinkos!"

"Well then... What the hell are you researching?"

He looks at you confused.

"Can ya' read? It said on the sign, genetical testing!"

"I'd be surprised if you could read..."
You whisper under your breath

"Well, I guess you probably did then, since you didn't come in asking me about what the fuck I am doing. Actually, come to think of it, I don't even know who the hell you are."

"...How long have you been down here?"

"A few years, I think."

"Well, that would explain it. Now, what specifically are you researching?"

"Well, I am researching the perfect soldier! A supersoldier!"

"...What?"

"A good-old GI Joe! An American Hero!"

"But your working for the communists."

"Forced to work for. I was about to get the fuck out of dodge here..."

He slings his pistol over his shoulder, and pokes his pistol in your gut. You can smell the whiskey on his breath.

"...So, who might you be anyways, ya' fuckin' scaly lizardman? What the fuck is with the tail anyways? You better not be a damned communist, because I swear to God, that if God created goddamned lizard people, I will personally find a big enough explosive to take care of the problem of goddamned communist lizard people, and I swear if you're a goddamned liberal hippie..."

Actions

>...I am the Emperor of Sweden, and how dare you talk to me like that, you uncultured Swedish fuck!
>...I'm a dragon, couldn't you tell?
>...It's a long story.
>Write-In
>>
>>368414
>>...I am the Emperor of Sweden.
We don't really need this guy, just his research, if that.
>>
>>368414
>...It's a long story.
>>
>>368432
We need him do do even more research.
>...I'm a dragon, couldn't you tell?
>>
>>368414
>Write-In
>I'm no meare lizard, I'm a dragon, I'm the Emperor of Sweden and I have likely crushed more communists than you've likely seen in a lifetime. Now I DEMAND that you show me some respect or you're dinner.
>>
>>368441
Gah, typo. It should be mere in "no mere dragon". I can't believe I messed up like that.
>>
>>368441
This. And roll for animal taming to have an eagle land on your shoulder or some shit.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10 to intimidate this guy.
>>
Rolled 14 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>368462
>>
Rolled 12 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>368462
>>
Rolled 9 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>368462
When we first started this quest, did you think we'd break it so much with our size QM? Anything body related is just a walk in the park at this point.
>>
>>368477
you know what we should do? we should get EVEN HUGER GAINS by lifting shit
>>
>>368468
14+10=24
vs
10+2=12

Overwhelming Success!

>>368477
...No. Not at all.

You grab his hand, and nearly crush it. You easily lift him off the ground, and growl out the following sentence, while you stare into his eyes.
"I am no meager lizard, I am a dragon, I am the Emperor of Sweden, and I have crushed more communists then you have seen in a lifetime, now I want... No, I DEMAND! That you show me some respect, or you will be my goddamned snack."

He goes pale.

"Y-yes sir."

You drop him, and his pistol goes clattering towards the ground.

"Good. Now show me your research."

"A-Alright."

"Good, mortal. Use that tone when speaking to your betters and it'll get you far."

Color gradually returns to his face, and he shows you a small cell.

"...T-This is where I preformed my experiments, Goddamn it, I need a whiskey..."

He walks off, and you look into the room.

"Where is the experiment?"

"...What? Isn't it there?"

"No, it's not."

"Son of a goddamned bitch!"

He rushes up to you, chugging down his whiskey.

"We gotta get him back. He's too goddamned important! He is my life's work!"

"What is he, anyways?"

"...The perfect patriot, sir."

Actions.

>...Very well then, after him!
>...Good luck scientist, I'm off to disarm some nuclear devices.
>...Sure, but uh... Sorry about scaring the life out of you earlier.
>Write-In
>>
>>368511
No. We're plenty big enough. I'm surprised QM even put Large in our upgrade list, even with the whole "you need 5 upgrades to upgrade once" thing.

>>368514
>...Very well then, after him!
>>
>>368514
>>...Very well then, after him!
>>
>...Very well then, after him!
>>
"Very well, let's get on with it."

You turn around, and see you've actually left slight footprints in the floor tiles, Jesus, you must weight like a tank or something, even in Half-Dragon form.

You stomp down the corridor, the scientist having his hand on his pistol, carefully checking around the rooms. As you enter a rather large room, you hear a silenced gunshot, and the light from above you flickers, and goes off. The only light left in the room is the blue glow of... Somesort of chemical tank. Your darkvision turns on naturally, and you see a very muscular man, with an awful lot of brown hair and you note that his eyes are slightly red.

Actions.

>Chase after him! (Agility, VERY HARD)
>...Doctor, what did you base your experiments on?
>...What the hell is it doing?
>Write-In
>>
>>368554
>>...Doctor, what did you base your experiments on?
>>
>>368554
>...Doctor, what did you base your experiments on?

Cat people?
>>
>>368554
>...Doctor, what did you base your experiments on?
>>
>>368554
>>...Doctor, what did you base your experiments on?
>>
It flees around a corner, and you don't know what the fuck it was trying to do.

"So doctor... What the hell did you base your experiments on?"

"...Listen, you know about the Multi-dimensional phenomenon? If you don't, this shit is top secret, but I might as well, right?"
He laughs nervously.

Actions.

>...Yes?
>...Are those the strange portals all around?
>No?
>>
>>368572
>...Yes?
>>
>>368572
>>...Yes?
>>...Are those the strange portals all around?
>>
"...Yes? Is that all those strange portals around?"

He nods his head.
"Yes. Now, currently the United States of America only knows of three we can enter..."

You put your claw on your chin.
"Enthralling... Tell me more."

"The first of these dimensions, is one similar to ours, but takes place far into the future... In a year known as 2016. It's strange as hell, and truly a culture shock. There is no magic, and no far-flung technological magic or any bullshit like that."

"...Continue."

"The second one, is a dimension completely different from ours. Think a fantasy world. High magic, but fuck-all in tech."

"...And the third?"

"In the past, during the Third Reich apparently... But, without magic like our dimension, but dear God... The technology more then makes up for it..."

"...And what did you base your creation off of?"

"Alright, listen... In one of these dimensions, the Nazi one, we found a strange project once we infiltrated the government... Supposed to make the "ultimate Aryan" alright?"

"Alright..."

"Well, that shit led to a goldmine of genetic experimentation technology, such as spider-men, somesort of lizard-like people, and... Well, werewolves and shit."

"...So are you saying, that is in fact, not our dimension?"

"Hell no, but it has a timeline similar to ours."

"...How fast does time move in that dimension?"

"Fast, I guess. Faster then ours at the least."

"...So what exactly is your experimentation supposed to be?"

"Similar to a prototype of the Wehrwolf Division, and... Well, taught to be the utmost patriot of the USA."
Interesting indeed.

Actions.

>...So is it hostile towards us?
>...Project Wehrwolf?
>...Wait, if you based it off lyanthropy... Does that mean it can fucking spread?
>Write-In
>>
>>368618
>>...Wait, if you based it off lyanthropy... Does that mean it can fucking spread?
>>
>>368618
>>...Wait, if you based it off lyanthropy... Does that mean it can fucking spread?
We should recruit Stojan.
>>
>>368618
>...Wait, if you based it off lyanthropy... Does that mean it can fucking spread?
These references being done
>>
File: Spoiler Image (34 KB, 480x360)
34 KB
34 KB JPG
>>368618
>...Wait, if you based it off lyanthropy... Does that mean it can fucking spread?

There goes the 4th wall
>>
>>368618
>>...Wait, if you based it off lycanthropy... Does that mean it can fucking spread?
Someone didn't refine their formulas.
>>
"Wait, if you based it off Lycanthropy... Does that mean it can fucking spread?"

He freezes up.
"...I hope not. Then we're screwed."

You hear a yell from the other room.

"...Fuck, I guess not."

"...Is he hostile towards us?"

"No, unless you pose danger towards him, are a communist, or are threatening people or something."

"...That's good, I guess... Why did he shoot out the light?"

"He's a goddamned commando, and probably is trying to draw us out."

Actions.

>...Go into the other room, and make sure this shit doesn't spread.
>...Where can we find him?
>...Can he infect me?
>Write-In
>>
>>368651
>...Can he infect me?
A two-headed Fascist WereDragon on the lose
>>
>>368651
>>...Where can we find him?
>>
>>368651
>...Can he infect me?
>>
"Can he infect me?"

"...Yes, I would guess so. However, if you would retain your mind is another matter."

"Shit."

"Well, we need to put a stop to him. He might be in the next room over... Or in the ventilation above us, so stick together, alright?"

"Don't take any chances."

Actions.

>...Maybe you can lure him out with a pheromone...
>Go into the next room and see what happened to that man. Or woman, these are communists after all.
>Try to flush him out using your breath... Maybe he's in the vents? (Body, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>368671
>Try to flush him out using your breath... Maybe he's in the vents? (Body, HARD)
This is sounding an awful lot like when stojan first escaped only instead of nazis theres a halfdragon.
>>
>>368671
>Go into the next room and see what happened to that man. Or woman, these are communists after all.

Can't the werewolf only infect us if he makes a cuts us, which would be difficult considering we have super heavy scales.
>>
>>368671
>>Go into the next room and see what happened to that man. Or woman, these are communists after all.
Similar to the Wehrwolves, eh? He wouldn't be hungry would he?
>>
"He wouldn't be hungry... Would he?"

"I wouldn't think so. I've fed him 100% All American Beef. The kraut's designed their guys to specifically want to eat human flesh, so I made him just want to eat beef."

"Oh, good."

You walk into the next room, and see a man on the ground, terrified. He lacks any facial hair, must be a new recruit...

"What happened here?"

"A strange man ran past me, and took my assault rifle!"

"...Did he bite you at all?"

"No, he just shoved me to the ground."

Oh, good... Maybe he doesn't know he can infect others yet.

Actions.

>We need another man, come on... Whoever your name is!
>Yeah, just stay here where it's safe.
>Ignore him and continue the chase.
>...Tell him to guard the doctor, you've gotta take care of a rogue soldier.
>...Force him to strip, you have to make sure he's not infected. (Intimidation.)
>Write-In
>>
>>368709
>...Force him to strip, you have to make sure he's not infected. (Intimidation.)
>>
>>368709
>...Force him to strip, you have to make sure he's not infected. (Intimidation.)


Let's not have this turn into 28 days/weeks later. Zombie-like werewolf apocalypse sounds like a bad end to me
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10 for Intimidation.
>>
Rolled 16 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>368734
[Insert rape joke here]
>>
>>368739
>joke
>>
"Take off your clothes!"

"Wha-What?"

"You heard me! Take of your clothes!"

"I-I don't consent! Not like this! I have too much to live for!"

You growl.
"NOW!"

He nervously takes off his clothes. You see nothing indicating signs of infection.

Now, you have a naked soldier in front of you, the Scientist is slowly trying to back away from this... If someone took a photo right now, you'd be embarrased.

"Alright, put your clothes back on."

"T-Thank you!"

"Alright, come on... We gotta find the soldier or whatever."

>We need another man, come on... Whoever your name is!
>Yeah, just stay here where it's safe.
>Ignore him and continue the chase.
>...Tell him to guard the doctor, you've gotta take care of a rogue soldier.
>Write-In
>>
>>368771
>Write-In
Apologise for making him strip, then explain the situation.
>>
>>368771
>...Tell him to guard the doctor, you've gotta take care of a rogue soldier.
>>
>>368771
>>...Tell him to guard the doctor, you've gotta take care of a rogue soldier.

>>368774
Don't apologize! We are a dragon!
>>
>>368771
>...Tell him to guard the doctor, you've gotta take care of a rogue soldier.
>>368774
There's no time to explain! The werewolf already has a head start.
>>
"Alright, now guard the scientist. I'll be back."

He nods, and pulls out his pistol.

You hear gunshots not too far away, and see a few signs...

>...He might be hungry, search for him in the Cafeteria.
>Search the Administration Block.
>Eh, search by the exit.
>Search the Nuclear Ward.
>Search Ballistics Ward.
>...Check out the Residential Block.
>Write-In
>>
>>368799
>...He might be hungry, search for him in the Cafeteria.
>>
>>368799
>Search the Nuclear Ward.
>>
>>368799
>>...He might be hungry, search for him in the Cafeteria.
>>
>>368799
>try to pinpoint where the gunshots came from
>>
You head down to the cafeteria, carefully stepping on the snow to make no noise. This is easier said then done, as you sound more like a giant attempting to be sneaky. The lights have all been shot out, and you eventually reach the cafeteria... Where you see the man gorging himself on beef. About four dead guards are in the room, shot to death.

Actions.

>...Release a pheromone?
>...Come here boy, come on... (Charisma, HARD)
>...Try to sneak up to it. (Agility, What the fuck are you doing?)
>Demand his surrender!
>...Cast a spell?
>Breath attack? Breath attack. (Body)
>Write-In
>>
>>368827
>>...Release a pheromone?
Drowsiness?
>>
>>368827
>Write-In

Take seat and wait for him to finish eating. Then speak to him asking him to stand down.
>>
>>368827
>>...Release a pheromone?
Loyalty
>>368837 this too
>>
>>368827
>Breath attack? Breath attack. (Body)
>>
>>368827
>>...Release a pheromone?
Any pheromone really
>>
You take a seat in a chair, and watch him eat. You realize that he's not really a werewolf like you thought, he's really just a human with a rather heavy amount of facial hair, and body hair. He's also... Exposed, to say kindly.

You decide to release a pheromone.

>Lust.
>Pleasure.
>Loyalty.
>Drowsiness.
>Fear
>Write-In
>>
>>368857
>>Loyalty.
>>
>>368857
>Loyalty.
>>
>>368857
>>Loyalty.
That way he'll come to us.
>>
Roll me a 1d20 to see if he's affected by your pheromones.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>368864
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>368864
Supersoldier, huh?
>>
>>368865
18
vs 1

Great Success!

You unleash a pheromone... He turns around and salutes, which chewing some beef. He swallows a... Rather heavy amount, as in he was stuffing himself with it.

"Commander in Chief, Sir! How can I help you!"

Huh, he seems to think your the United States President...
Actions

>You aren't the president, soldier.
>...At ease, soldier. You won't tell him you aren't the president... But you'd like this super-soldier on your side.
>...Yes... Yes... You are in fact, the President of the United States.
>Write-In
>>
>>368875
>>You aren't the president, soldier.
But we do have a mission.
>>
>>368875
>...At ease, soldier. You won't tell him you aren't the president... But you'd like this super-soldier on your side.

We might be able to use this guy to Viktors advantage in the presidential race
>>
>>368875
>>...At ease, soldier. You won't tell him you aren't the president... But you'd like this super-soldier on your side.
>>
>>368875
>>...At ease, soldier. You won't tell him you aren't the president... But you'd like this super-soldier on your side.
>Status report!
>>
>>368875
>>You aren't the president, soldier.
Maybe we can tell him that America was taken over from the inside secretly, and that Sweden is the last bastion of American values, but he's going to find we're not American.
>>
>>368875
>>You aren't the president, soldier.
>>
"At ease, soldier. Status report."

"Hostiles in local area terminated, restocking on rations, and preparing to extract self from the combat zone, sir!"

"Good, good."

>...Calm down soldier, all hostiles have been dispatched.
>...I'd like to see you in action. Show me what you've got.
>You do realize you are in Cuba, right?
>I've come to extract you.
>Write-In
>>
>>368892
>>...Calm down soldier, all hostiles have been dispatched.
>You do realize you are in Cuba, right?
>I've come to extract you.
>>
>>368892
>>...Calm down soldier, all hostiles have been dispatched.
>You do realize you are in Cuba, right?
>>
>>368892
>>...Calm down soldier, all hostiles have been dispatched.
>You do realize you are in Cuba, right?
>>
"Alright soldier, all hostiles have been dispatched. No need to remain on alert."

He salutes, but doesn't put away his gun, instead he moves towards you, and takes a seat.

"How can I help you, sir?"

"First off, do you realize you are in Cuba, right?"

He looks confused.

"Cuba?"

"...What do you last remember?"

"...I remember fighting against some sort of... Dragon, I think."

You raise your eyebrow.

"Dragon?"

"Yes sir! Our landing was crap, it apparently caught wind of our assault, and everything went FUBAR real fast. My squad managed to flee inland, and set up a FOB, awaiting reinforcements... None ever came. I think we were up there for about three years."

"...Are they still up there?"

"I would guess so sir. I don't know how I ended up here, in Cuba."

Actions.

>...You do realize you are talking to a dragon, right?
>What's your military experience?
>...So, uh... Why don't you find some clothes and put them on?
>I got a job for you. You need to make your way to the Nuclear Ward, and disarm the nuclear warheads down there. After that, make your way back to the exit.
>Write-In
>>
>>368914
>I got a job for you. You need to make your way to the Nuclear Ward, and disarm the nuclear warheads down there. After that, make your way back to the exit.
>>
>>368914
>>I got a job for you. You need to make your way to the Nuclear Ward, and disarm the nuclear warheads down there. After that, make your way back to the exit.
>>
"Alright, listen up. You need to make your way to the Nuclear Ward, disarm the warheads, and make your way back to the exit."

He gets up and salute!

"Operation will be completed at once, sir!"

He grabs his assault rifle, and charges down the hallway. You hear gunshots not too long afterward.

Actions.

>...Yeah, alright, secure that scientist and escape.
>No, you kind of want to watch how he works.
>Write-In
>>
>>368940
>No, you kind of want to watch how he works
>>
>>368940
>>...Yeah, alright, secure that scientist and escape.
Mr GI-Joe got this.
>>
>>368940
>No, you kind of want to watch how he works.
>>
You decide to watch, from a distance.

He runs into a patrol of soldiers, slides to the ground, and opens up with his assault rifle, easily downing them. He continues on, and find a small crowd of civilian scientists...
Actions.

>...Intervene.
>See what he does.
>...Release a pheromone to effect his actions.
>Write-In
>>
>>368955
>See what he does
>>
>>368955
>>See what he does.
>>
>>368955
>...Release a pheromone to effect his actions.
>>
You see him ignore the civilians, and actively push them away from his direction. He continues down the hallway, but stops suddenly, and goes into the ventilation. A few minutes later, a group of soldiers jog by, and he drops down from behind, grabbing one of the soldiers silently, and drags him around the corner.
Actions.

>...Wait until he moves on, and investigate what's happened to that soldier.
>Intervene, you'd rather not have him realize he has lycanthropy.
>Wait, and see what happens.
>Write-In
>>
>>368974
>>...Wait until he moves on, and investigate what's happened to that soldier.
>>
>>368974
>>>...Wait until he moves on, and investigate what's happened to that soldier.
>>
You wait until he moves on, and you investigate what's happened to the soldier. You see that he's been restrained, and angrily curses in your face.

"What happened?"

"He interrogated me for where the nuclear ward was!"

"Oh. Huh."

Well then.

Actions.

>You got his mode of operations, head back.
>Continue to watch GI-Joe.
>>
>>368994
>>Continue to watch GI-Joe.
>>
>>368994
>>>Continue to watch GI-Joe.
>>
You follow him, and eventually he reaches the Nuclear Ward, and begins to disarm the nuclear missiles... Of course, you have a certain idea. Which is crazy, in it's own right.
Your stomach isn't feeling well from the Uranium you ate a little while ago, either.

Actions.

>...Perhaps you can get him to force the missiles to launch somewhere?
>Attempt to dissemble the missile for the enriched Uranium. It makes a good snack. (Intelligence, HARD, RISKY.)
>Leave him be.
>Flee before he finds out your following him... Or your stomach explodes, one of those two.
>Write-In
>>
>>369009
>...Perhaps you can get him to force the missiles to launch somewhere?
>>
>>369009
Dissemble the missile and eat the uranium.
>>
>>369009
>>Leave him be.
>>
Waiting ten more minutes.
>>
>>369014
>>369016
>Not wanting to launch the missiles and glass that small elven country
>>
>>369009
>>...Perhaps you can get him to force the missiles to launch somewhere?
>>
>>369026
>Not wanting to eat more delicious Uranium.
>>
You go in.

"Wait! Reprogram the missiles to target..."

>Lativa, which may be under your control, but fuck the elves!
>The United States!
>England.
>Spain.
>Israel!
>Brazil!
>Write-In
>>
>>369045
>nowhere
We don't have any enemies we need to blow up. Do we?
>>
>>369045
Whats the human to elf ration in Latvia?
>>
>>369045
>never mind Continue to disarm the nukes
>>
>>369054
>>369054
Eh, 20:1
>>
>>369045
>The United States!
>>
>>369056
This and try to get the Uranium to eat as well.
>>
>>369047
Unless you wanted to help Viktor via nuking the United States. Keep in mind, this will be pinned on Cuba.
>>
>>369047
>We don't have any enemies we need to blow up. Do we?
no we dont
>>369060
victor lives there
>>
>>369068
I doubt G.I. Joe would take kindly to us nuking the US.
>>
"...Never mind. Just disarm the nukes."

"You got it sir! One disarmed nuclear bomb, coming right up!"

Roll me a 1d20-2 to see if he can actually disarm this bomb.
>>
Rolled 18 - 2 (1d20 - 2)

>>369074
>>
18-2=16

Minor Success!

He cuts some wire, then turns around and salutes.

"One disarmed bomb, as requested."

"...How did you know how to disarm it?"

"I cut the grey wire."

You look over, and don't see a grey wire.

"...There is no grey wire."

"Of course there is, I saw it myself."

"Well... Never mind. Come on, let's get going."

The two of you walk towards the exit, and you go to get the Scientist... Of course, the matter is... What are you going to do with him?

>He's outlived his usefulness! Muahahahahah! Eat him.
>Leave him be.
>...Escort him to the United States for some bonus points.
>Take him along... As a slave.
>No, no... Recruit him. If you can. (Diplomacy, HARD)
>Write-In

Oh, and what do you want to do to that one guard who stayed behind with the scientist?

>Well, he's also outlived his usefulness! Eat him!
>Nah, leave him be. For a cuban, he's decent.
>Take him along as a bodyguard for the Scientist.
>Write-In
>>
>>369088
>No, no... Recruit him. If you can. (Diplomacy, HARD)
>Take him along as a bodyguard for the Scientist.
>>
>>369088
>>...Escort him to the United States for some bonus points.
>Take him along as a bodyguard for the Scientist.
>>
>>369088
>>No, no... Recruit him. If you can. (Diplomacy, HARD)
>>Take him along as a bodyguard for the Scientist.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+8 for Diplomacy.
>>
Rolled 7 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>369103
>>
Rolled 15 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>369103
>>
>>369107
15+8=23

Failure!

"Why don't you come with me to Stockholm? I could interest you in some research..."

"Ah, shut your mouth. I ain't deserting for another country, especially if it ain't the United States!"

Actions.

>...Rescind the offer.
>...DEMAND he join. It wasn't an offer in the first place. (Intimidate, HARD)
>Knock him out. You'll just settle for kidnapping. (Body)
>...Maybe he might be interested in something you have... But what is it? (Specify what he might be interested in...)
>Write-in
>>
>>369111
>...Maybe he might be interested in something you have... But what is it? (Specify what he might be interested in...)
Lets see, we have the mutagens, plenty of races dna to mess with, cant forget the half dragon-Mantis shrimp- cone snail-hybrid we have in the dungeon he could mess with. Lets just tell him all this stuff.
>>
>>369111
>>...Rescind the offer.
>>
>>369116
Agreed.
If that doesn't work then just demand it.
>>
>>369111
>>...DEMAND he join. It wasn't an offer in the first place. (Intimidate, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+8 to see if he'll change his mind.
>>
Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>369123
>>
Rolled 3 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>369123
Could we pull a Red Skull on him and say that the America he loves is dead? He never really knew it, did he?
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>369123
>>
>>369129
Oh shit forgot the plus eight but fuck yeah a nat
>>
File: order_whut.gif (1.85 MB, 256x249)
1.85 MB
1.85 MB GIF
>>369126
Sorry mate, but you just triggered me thinking about the new comics.
>>369129
Make that a YES.
>>
>>369129
That will do the trick.
>>
>>369129
Mentioning our hybrid abomination must have been what hooked him to join us.
>>
>>369136
Well, when you can offer him to work with the man who's made a half dragon-mantis shrimp- cone snail-hybrid assassin. Then there just aren't any better job offers out there.

Also, if it is what tips the scales, then it will be the first use we've ever gotten out of that thing.
>>
>>369129
20
Critical Success!

"The America you knew is dead, destroyed by the lack of another Great War, degeneracy has taken it's place. Hell, as we speak my son secures it for my Empire. What does that tell you? Will you choose further failure, or join me?"

"I'll never join you!"

"...I thought you might say that. I have plenty of species DNA, mutagens, a half-dragon-shrimp-cone-snail hybrid that you could play with, and... Unlimited test subjects."

"...Deal! So long as you aren't bluffing me about the cone-snail hybrid..."

"I thought you might say that."

"Well, I'm Doctor Douglas, and I'm pleased to meet you..."

"Renexizious."

"Ah, well then, pleased to meet you Ren!"

You growl at this... Why do people call you this, instead of Renexizious?

You leave the facility, and well... Unless you want to alienate that werewolf, it might be best to not shapeshift into a dragon.

Actions.

>...Meh, who cares if he's alienated?
>Get it out of the way, might as well tell him you aren't the president, and you're in fact a dragon.
>...Crush him as you shapeshift. Oh well...
>Find another way out of the city.
>Write-In
>>
>>369149
>Get it out of the way, might as well tell him you aren't the president, and you're in fact a dragon.
>>
>>369149
>Get it out of the way, might as well tell him you aren't the president, and you're in fact a dragon.
>>
>>369149
>>Get it out of the way, might as well tell him you aren't the president, and you're in fact a dragon.
>>
>>369149
>>Get it out of the way, might as well tell him you aren't the president, and you're in fact a dragon.
>>
"So... I'm not in fact your president, and I am in fact, a dragon."

"I knew something was up when you followed me, not to mention you already looked like a dragon."

"...You aren't angry?"

"Well, honestly I would like to go home, since you aren't my president. So in a sense, kind of."

Actions.

>...Yeah, no. Can't do that.
>Sure! What's the worst that could happen?
>...Release the loyalty pheromone.
>My son, Viktor is about to be president... So why don't you help me out in the meanwhile?
>Write-In
>>
>>369164
>My son, Viktor is about to be president... So why don't you help me out in the meanwhile?
>>
>>369164
>>My son, Viktor is about to be president... So why don't you help me out in the meanwhile?
>>
>>369164
>>My son, Viktor is about to be president... So why don't you help me out in the meanwhile?
>>
>>369164
>>My son, Viktor is about to be president... So why don't you help me out in the meanwhile?
>>
"Well, my son is about to be president... Why don't you help me out, to help out the president?"

He shrugs his shoulders.
"...I guess."

"Good, good. No hard feelings?"

"None, sir."

Actions.

>Well... You need to take care of the presidental palace now, so you can release the nuclear engineer's families.
>...See what your kids are up to.
>Fly around, breathing fire and ice! It should be a crime to be cooped up that long... In fact, now it is! (Body)
>Write-In
>>
>>369175
>>Well... You need to take care of the presidential palace now, so you can release the nuclear engineer's families.
Better take care of business first.
>>
>>369175
>Well... You need to take care of the presidental palace now, so you can release the nuclear engineer's families.
>>
>>369175
>>Well... You need to take care of the presidental palace now, so you can release the nuclear engineer's families.
>>
>>369175
Check on your kids real quick and then get the engineer's families.
>>
You stomp your way through the Cuban streets, crushing tank and man alike. Eventually, you are directly in front of the presidential palace, after breaching what seemed to be the major military "installations." Too bad none of it can actually damage you.
You melt the gate, and walk in. You eventually find the engineer's families rather luxurious apartments... Now, how are you going to get them to come with you?

>Demand they come out and get on your pack. Or else. (Intimidation.)
>Just extend a similar offer you gave the engineers. (Diplomacy)
>...Well, the Engineers don't really need family... Burn the apartments down.
>Write-In
>>
>>369188
>Just extend a similar offer you gave the engineers. (Diplomacy)
>>
>>369188
>>Just extend a similar offer you gave the engineers. (Diplomacy)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+8 to get them to come out.
>>
Rolled 13 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>369194
>>
Rolled 18 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>369194
>>
Rolled 18 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>369194
>>
>>369198
18+8=26

"Alright, listen up people! Your fathers and husbands have joined me so they can live without communism and other shit... Now, you in or out?"

A few people trying to jump up to get your attention means a "Yes" in your book, and you lower your head to let the people on your back.

Families Secured!

Now, since your already here...

Actions.


>...Burn down the presidential palace. Fuck Castro!
>...See if you can attempt to swallow the entire presidential palace. Would be interesting...
>Body slam? Body slam the palace.
>Meh, leave it be and find your kids.
>Leave it be, and head back for the engineers.
>Write-In
>>
>>369203
>...See if you can attempt to swallow the entire presidential palace. Would be interesting...
>>
>>369203
>>...See if you can attempt to swallow the entire presidential palace. Would be interesting...
>>
Roll me a 1d20+17 for nomming the palace.
>>
Rolled 17 + 17 (1d20 + 17)

>>369215
Praise allah
>>
Rolled 14 + 17 (1d20 + 17)

>>369215
>>
>>369218
17+17=34

Overwhelming Success!

You easily scoop up the palace, and swallow it. Kind of tastes like watermelon, for some reason.

You go over to check on your daughters, who you see have liberated the bank vault, since for some fucking reason, they have hitched the bank vault to multi-able tanks, and are also fighting off some soldiers. You swoop down and crush the soldiers.

Actions.

>We're going now, so hold on tight, I'm going to take this vault with us.
>Are you two having fun?
>Just wanted to cover your ass. Fly off to get the engineers.
>Hop on my back, we're going... And no, I won't bring the vault.
>Write-In
>>
>>369229
>We're going now, so hold on tight, I'm going to take this vault with us.
>>
>>369229
>>Just wanted to cover your ass. Fly off to get the engineers.
>>
"Alright, we're going now. So get on and hold tight."

Your daughters climb on, while eating something called "Ice Cream."

You grab the vault with your feet, fly off to get the engineers, and before you know it, you fly off into the sunset. You decide to converse with your daughters to pass the 12 hour flight.

Actions.

>...What the hell is ice cream?
>Did you two have any problems?
>Did you have fun?
>Any requests when we land?
>Nah... Remain silent.
>Write-In
>>
>>369244
>What the hell is ice cream?
>>
>>369244
>What the hell is ice cream?
>>
"...What the hell is ice cream?"

Maria answers your question.

"We found a carnival which was abandoned from your attack. We got some pretty interesting foods there, like ice cream."

"I wasn't asking how you got it, only what it was."

"...It's apparently frozen milk."

"Interesting... Could you put butter on it?"

"They had something called "Butterscotch", I think."

"Oooh... Did you get me any?"

"...I knew you'd ask. I got you a cone."

She tosses it down, and you eat it mid-air. It tastes like... You honestly don't know what it tastes like, but it tastes rather good, like butter, milk... And quite a few other sweets. Jesus, you could live off this stuff."

"...I wish they had this stuff back in Sweden."

"They probably do."

"...Why hasn't anyone told me?"

"Well, your always busy. Also, I think there's an apple festivity soon."

"...An apple festivity? That's a shitty festival."

"...No one really goes to it, to be honest."

Actions.

>...Do we have ANY good festivals?
>Well, thanks for the ice cream... Do you have any more?
>Hey, could you ask the Scientist if he knows how to create this... Ice cream?
>What exactly does this... Apple festivity do?
>Write-In
>>
>>369266
>Hey, could you ask the Scientist if he knows how to create this... Ice cream?
Butterscotch shall sate our hunger.
>>
>>369266
>>...Do we have ANY good festivals?
>What exactly does this... Apple festivity do?
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
"...Could you ask Joan to tell the scientist if he knows how to create this... Ice Cream?"

"Sure, I'll be right back."

You continue flying above the Atlantic Sea, and a few moments later you see Maria's back.

"He said maybe."

"Maybe? What's that supposed to mean?"

"If you got him a sample, he could try. It'd be rather easy too, he said."

"Oh. Good. Now... What the hell does this apple festival actually do?"

"...It celebrates our apple industry?"

"...You don't know what the hell it does, do you?"

"Nooo.... I think I know."

"Tell me."

"It's supposed to celebrate Kvik's supply of apples... I don't think I've actually ever ate an apple."

"Me either."

"That's as much as I know."

"That's... That's pretty lame."

"It is."

"Well... Do we have ANY good festivals?"

"...Not unless you like dance and theater."

"...Anything interesting?!?"

"I think there's the peace and love festival. Only elves really go there, it's pretty much just a hippie festival."

Actions.

>Lame as fuck. Hell, when you get back to Sweden, your going to make better festivals!
>...Elven festivals? Hell no, fucking get that shit out of here.
>Dance and Theater? Tell me a little more.
>Well, what can you do?
>Write-In
>>
>>369304
>Lame as fuck. Hell, when you get back to Sweden, your going to make better festivals!
>...Elven festivals? Hell no, fucking get that shit out of here.
>>
>>369308
Yeah fuck the elves.
>>
"The elves did this, didn't they?"

"What do you mea-"

"They probably made all the other festivals shit on purpose, so we don't have cool shit like ice cream! Or... Anything with butter!"

Flames looks around anxiously.

Butter? Where?
Shut it, you!

"Hell, when we get back to Sweden, I guarantee I'll make a cool festival!"

"Oh, cool!"

"Now, make sure your sister is alright, I gotta think on this a little more."

What the hell should this festival be about?

>...The master race, of course... Dragons!
>How awesome you are, and how you conquered nearly all of Europe.
>Why not get some pagans on your side? Do a festival revolving around the Norse Gods or something. Maybe Joan will like it.
>See if you can't get something celebrating your marriage to Elizabeth?
>...Why not something revolving around you being God or something?
>...You just want to fly home, and sleep.
>Write-In
>>
>>369317
>...The master race, of course... Dragons!
>>
>>369317
>...The master race, of course... Dragons!
>>
Of course, about Dragons! Hell yeah!

You fly back to Stockholm. exhausted. You pass out in bed, next to Elizabeth.

You wake up in the morning, now... What to do...

Actions.

>Visit Stockholm.
>See how that scientist is settling in the laboratory.
>Start planning out that Dragon Festival.
>Search for an orb.
>See how Marcus is doing.
>See how Richard's doing.
>See how Dad's doing.
>Visit Reinhold.
>Visit Claw. Make sure he hasn't gone crazy with lust or something...
>...Get a sample of Butterscotch... But where?
>See how GI-Joe is.
>Talk to Elizabeth.
>Talk to your children.
>Visit Hans.
>Talk to a cabinet member
>Write-In
>>
>>369338
>visit claw
>>
>>369338
>Start planning out that Dragon Festival.
>>
Waiting ten more minutes.
>>
>>369338
Check on the new recruits (scientist and Joe)
>>
Rolled 1 (1d3)

Goddamn it, now we get to roll.

1=Claw.
2=Plan.
3=Visit scientist-dude and Joe.
>>
You go down to Claw's room, and knock on it. A rather panicked claw answer it.

"Ren! It's good to see you! I need your help!"

"What is it?"

"...Not in here, come in."

You go into his room.

"Alright, listen... Whatever I'm about to tell you... Don't tell anyone else, alright? Promise?"

Actions.

>...Sure.
>Nah.
>...Suuureee... (Lie.)
>I'm goddamned busy. What is it?
>>
>>369367
>...Sure.
>>
>>369367
>I'm goddamned busy. What is it?
>>
>>369367
>Sure.
>>
"Sure, what is it Claw?"

"...Well... Thanks. It's well.."

"Spit it out, Claw."

He gulps.
"Whenever I see a woman... I can't help but... Well, want to have sex with her."

You facepalm.

"Is this a joke?"

"No! I swear, that's the only thought in my mind whenever I see a lady now! Also... I gotta tell you something else."

Actions.

>Well, good! It'll teach you to be a man!
>...Wait, what? That doesn't sound like you.
>You're autistic about women now, Claw. It's time you accepted that.
>What is it?
>Write-In
>>
>>369389
>You're autistic about women now, Claw. It's time you accepted that.
>What is it?
I think our pheromones gave him crippling autism or brain damage.
>>
>>369391
This
>>
>>369391
>Implying he didn't have autism before this.
>>
>>369396
But it got WORSE, anon!
>>
"Claw... I'm sorry."

"What? What are you sorry for?"

"You have crippling autism, Claw."

"This isn't funny, Renexizious!"

"...To be honest, it kind of is. But continue."

He sighs.

"...Why'd I even tell you.."

"Because I'm your only friend, to be honest."

"Hey!"

"It's true, you know."

"...Hans is my friend."

"He doesn't count."

"Well. Fine. Alright, so I think I might of gotten... A few of my concubines pregnant."

Actions.

>...A few?
>Good boy! You deserve a treat!
>Good, you finally manned up.
>That's surprisingly adorable. Imagine, little autistic Claws running around!
>Write-In
>>
>>369406
>...A few?
I hope this board has spoilers and I don't end up looking like an idiot.
WATCH THE NEW EDQ SITCOM WHERE AN AUTISTIC MAN RAISES CHILDREN.
>>
>>369409
You put man instead of man-child.
>>
>>369406
>>...A few?
>>
"...A few?"

"I... I impregnated all of them."

You laugh, and nearly fall on the floor.

"Even the dwa-"

"Especially the dwarf!"

If there is a God, thank you. Thank you for letting this happen.

"So, you impregnated a dwarf, a drow, a human, a lesser lycanthrope... And that's it."

"You forgot Yuan-Ti."

"...How the... How does that even work?"

"I don't know!"

Actions.

>Congratulate him.
>...You deserve a treat, don't you boy?
>Erh... Alright. Just don't try to fuck any of my daughters or my wife, alright? I'm just going to leave now.
>Jesus... Has he left this room at all?
>Thank God you didn't send him the palace's staff.
>Write-In
>>
>>369429
>Congratulate him.
>Thank God you didn't send him the palace's staff.
>Erh... Alright. Just don't try to fuck any of my daughters or my wife, alright? I'm just going to leave now.
I'm sorry for picking three things, but I just had to.
>>
>>369435
This
>>
You get on one knee and start thanking God for the fact you had the foresight not to send him the palace's staff.

"Wha-what are you doing?"

"Thanking God I didn't send you the palace's staff."

"O-Oh. Alright."

"...Well, I guess good job. You actually did something. Now, apply your bed vigor to ruling Hansod-"

"You want me to fuck a ci-city? How is that even possible?!"

"...Stop, no. Just... Just apply yourself better to ruling Hansodr, alright?'

"Oh. Alright."

"Alright... Now, if you try anything with my wife or my daughters, I'll be back for you, alright?"

"I-I can't promise that, Ren!"

"Goddamn it Claw. If you touch them, your a dead... Wolfguy, I guess."

You leave, and Flames decides to chip in.

So, uh... Why exactly are you kind of being a dick to him? You not friends with him or something?

Choices.

>Nah, you're good friends with him. You just like giving him shit.
>Honestly, he's just a useful sidekick.
>He's comedic relief.
>...You kind of wish he'd just leave, to be honest.
>Write-In
>>
>>369442
>Nah, you're food friends with him. You just like giving him shit.
>>
>>369447
you're... Food friends?

What?
>>
>>369442
>Nah, you're good friends with him. You just like giving him shit.
>>
>>369442
>>Nah, you're good friends with him. You just like giving him shit.
>>
>>369449
Yes food friends. Have you never heard of them? Friends you... share food with?
>>
Nah, he's a good friend. I just enjoy fucking with him.
Oh, alright. Just wondering if we could set someone on fire soon.


He goes back to sleep. Good.

You continue walking through the palace... When one of your servants comes up to you.

"...Sir? We have a problem with two of your sons."

"...What is it?"

"Erh... The cabinet wants to discuss this in private."

Actions.

>Great! You can't wait to find out what's been done.
>Nope, nope... No work today.
>>
>>369457
>>Great! You can't wait to find out what's been done.
>>
>>369457
>Great! You can't wait to find out what's been done.
dis gon b gud
I haven't slept since Sunday night, and this quest is like cocaine.
>>
"Great. Coming right away then."

You come to your council room, and Lorriana speaks up first after a few seconds of silence.

"...Do you want the kinda bad news, or the really bad news?"

>...Kind of bad news?
>Really bad news.
>>
>>369466
>...Kind of bad news?
>>
"What's the kinda bad news?"

"...Well, Viktor has threatened us with war if we ever break the Monroe Doctrine again. He cites foreign aggression in the Americas will not be tolerated. Of course, this is if he becomes president. He's sent you this letter not too long afterwards."

You tear open the letter, and read it.

Father... I am sorry to say this, but your aggression in North America has me and the populace concerned for your imperialistic views... I would like to apologize... I don't really think as I used to. I... I feel like I share something with Americans, and I'm sorry to say this... But I stand with them as well. I stand for the American way of truth, liberty, and fraternity."

Goddamn it, it seems Viktor's become Americanized.

Actions.

>...Write an angry letter back. That damned runt...
>...Send a letter notifying him of his disownment. You will not tolerate traitors.
>Send him a letter saying something else...
>Do not send a letter back. You won't grace him with a response.
>Write-In
>>
>>369475
>...Write an angry letter back. That damned runt...
>>
Gonna wait ten more minutes anons.
>>
"Goddamn it!"

You take a note, and write on it angrily, mostly yelling at him for deserting the family and abandoning the values of his family... That's when you get an idea...
You could tell Elizabeth about his little scheme with the Maifa... Even if your promised.

Actions.

>No, no... That's kind of a dick move.
>Hell yes, this is what happens when you go against me!

Also... You could contact a news network about his.... Maifa problem.

>Sure!
>Hell no, you aren't going to incriminate your son!
>...Threaten him with media exposure in your message.
>>
>>369496
No and no.
>>
>>369505
This.
>>
You shake the thoughts out of your head, and continue on to the next topic.

"So... What else happened?"

"Well... Julius was nearly caught attempting to.. Erh. Suck someone's blood."

That's it. What the fuck.

You headbang the table.

"...Contain this story. Don't let it spread."

Goddamn it. You knew something was up when you didn't get word of him arriving, or his appearance in Lativa-Estonia.

Actions.

>...Cabinet... I hope you have some good ideas, because otherwise I need to hurt something badly.
>...I'll be in my laboratory if anyone needs me.
>...I want all of you to not break the news to Elizabeth. At all. (Free Action)
>Goddamn it, send a letter demanding Julius to return to Stockholm at once.
>Write-In
>>
>>369516
>...I want all of you to not break the news to Elizabeth. At all. (Free Action)
>...I'll be in my laboratory if anyone needs me.
>>
Sorry anons, but I gotta go.
And >>369520
Mang, you gotta get some sleep.
>>
>>369522
Nah senpai. I got two exams in the morning. Maybe after that I can sleep.
>>
>>369524
Oh, they change f a m to senpai?
I like it.
>>
>>369528
fåm I think the changes were too strict
>>
>>369516
>Send someone to retrieve Julius.

I have a feeling that this might be bigger than we think. He's probably contracted vampirism. Well need to find a way to sort that out ourselves.

Additionally, I think we shouldn't keep this from Elizabeth. If I've learned anything, it's that keeping shit like this from your significant other is a really bad idea. Especially when they find out(they always do).
>>
>>369516
>>...Cabinet... I hope you have some good ideas, because otherwise I need to hurt something badly.
>>
Hey anons, I'm back.

"...I'll be in laboratory if anyone needs me. But first, send a message to a... Courtier or whatever to retrieve Julius, and I hope you all have some good ideas."

The Serb raises his hand.

"...No, if it involves removing kebab."

He lowers his hand.

"...Sir?"

You hear Lorriana speak.

"What is it?"

"Well, if your son is a vampire... I'd personally recommend we take him in for study."

"We already have a vampire in captivity."

"I know, sir. I just wanted to see if there was any mental changes or personality change from their transformation."

Actions.

>No, you won't observe your son for science.
>Of course, so long as he allows you to.
>Of course!
>Write-In
>>
>>370003
>>Of course, so long as he allows you to.
>>
>>370003
>>Of course, so long as he allows you to.
>>
>>370003
>Ofcourse!
he must be curious himself, being a scientist and all.
>>
"Sure, so long as he agrees to it."

"Very well sir."

"No other ideas?"

Everyone shakes their head.

"Very well, dismissed."

You quickly walk to the laboratory, and you spot Elizabeth speaking to Reinhold about something... This could prove to be a good chance to drop Julius's infection... So long as you get Reinhold out of the way.

Actions

>...First off, what are they talking about? (Intelligence)
>Approach, hopefully Reinhold will get the hint to leave.
>Release a pheromone to make him leave... Of course, this might effect Elizabeth as well.
>Come up for casual conversation. Maybe Reinhold might get bored.
>...Who cares if Reinhold overhears that your son might be a vampire?
>Nah, you don't really feel like telling Elizabeth yet.
>Write-In
>>
>>370028
>>...First off, what are they talking about? (Intelligence)
>>
>>370028
>...First off, what are they talking about? (Intelligence)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 to overhear the conversation.
>>
Rolled 3 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>370038
>>
Rolled 1 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>370038
>>
Rolled 4 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>370047
We deaf now.
>>
You guys want to use Barbaric?

>Yes
>No
>>
>>370058
>You guys want to use Barbaric?
>>Yes
>>No
What is Barbaric?
>>
>>370058
>No
>>
>>370058
>No
>>
>>370064
We are a disciple of Khorne. Can reroll once per daY/month/session (varies?) and use BODY instead of whatever the mod was. Has Barbaric consequences. Commonly used on crit fails (1).
>>
>>370082
Ah thanks.
>>370038
>No
>>
>>370064
It's basically a reroll for critfails, once per session.

You attempt to overhear, but hear absolutely nothing, not only that, but you're fairly sure that you were not subtle in anyway. Because they turn to you once you fall on the floor.

"...Ren? What are you doing?"

"...Science!"

"Erh... Alright."

Reinhold looks slightly amused.

"...You wouldn't happen to of stolen my orb, would you Renexizious?"

"...Why are you being so specific?"

"Elizabeth just told me you woke up the middle of the night, consequentially the same night my orb disappeared. Then, came back to bed with a "glowing stomach."

You shoot a glare towards Elizabeth. Goddamn it.

Actions.

>Fine, I did steal that orb and eat it, so what?
>...Elizabeth was obviously drunk.
>Why are you making such a deal out of this damned orb!
>Write-In
>>
>>370093
>>Write-In
I ate a different orb, coincidentally on the same night yours went missing.
>>
>>370093
>>Fine, I did steal that orb and eat it, so what?
>>
"...I... Erh, I ate a different orb, coincidentally on the same night that one went missing."

Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if he'll actually believe the bluff.
>>
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>370135
I feel we're probably going to need a 20 for this one. Because this is a pretty flimsy lie.
>>
>>370142
Nice
>>
>>370142
Haaaaaaa
>>
>>370142
Right... guess he bought it then.
>>
Wait, will this lead to him coming up with a theory that we must have been framed to eat his orb, all on his own? Because that could work.
>>
>>370142
20+2=22
Critical Success!

"Oh, really? Sorry for thinking it was you then."

"Yeah... No problem, Reinhold."

"Well, I guess my orb's probably gone then. I'll hopefully find another one so the Vatican doesn't grill me over for it."

"Oh, good. Good."

"Well, goodbye, Ren. If you ever need a shoulder to pray on, feel free to ask... Now, obviously you have been incriminated, so if you'll excuse me... I must find the heretic who's done this."

"Have fun."

He walks off, and Elizabeth coughs loudly.

"...You ate his orb, didn't you."

Actions.

>That's not important! Right now, our son is a vampire!
>...Just a little.
>Yeah, also our son is a vampire.
>Nope, obviously not.
>Write-In
>>
>>370172
>>Yeah, also our son is a vampire.
>>
>>370172
>>...Just a little.
Feel genuine shame.
>>
>>370172
>>Yeah, also our son is a vampire.
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>370172
>>Yeah, also our son is a vampire.
>>
"Yep. Also, Julius is a vampire."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, turns out he is a vampire."

"...Goddamn it Ren! I thought I told him not to go to Paris on that expedition!"

Actions.

>...Mention that you allowed him to go.
>Yeah, no. Time to flee.
>Don't mention it, but reassure her that Julius is fine.
>Release a pheromone?
>Write-In
>>
>>370210
>...Mention that you allowed him to go.
>Release a pheromone?
Lust
Our dickings will solve everything. Just make sure Claw isn't nearby.
>>
>>370210
>>Don't mention it, but reassure her that Julius is fine.
>>Release a pheromone?
Lust.
>>
>>370210
>>Don't mention it, but reassure her that Julius is fine.
>>
"Yeah, but he's fine. Don't worry about it!"

"But how did he manage to go in the first place? He'd never go against me or your word."

You release the lust pheromone... Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if it works.
>>
Rolled 14 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>370227
>>
Rolled 13 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>370227
>>
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>370227
>>
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>370227
>>
File: 1458694628009.gif (763 KB, 500x275)
763 KB
763 KB GIF
>>370253
Post your face when Elizabeth's resistance was a natural one.
Gonna be right back while I get some 1950's whiskey out.
Feel free to write in what happens.
>>
>>370253
Praise be
>>
>>370268
deus vult.
>>
>>370267
She is so in love with us she keeps Claw away from our family while we are away.
>>
>>370267
We accidentally attract all the female palace staff leading to a massive orgy.
>>
File: CK2.jpg (116 KB, 960x622)
116 KB
116 KB JPG
>>370273
>>
>>370280
crusading orgy...?
our priests and nuns are supposed to be polygamous,after all.
>>
Back.

"God, Ren... It's been a while since I felt this way... Why don't we relax in our chambers together, and I can... Show you some moves?"

"YES."

So, uh. If you guys want, you can turn this into something bigger. I don't care what you do, you can take all of these if you want.

>Spread the lust pheromone on your way back, maybe the female palace staff will get attracted?
>Maybe "invite" that vampire from down stairs?
>...Invite Claw?
>Reinhold?
>Shapeshift to another form. (Specify)
>Write-In

Goddamn it, I was hoping we wouldn't have yet another orgy. Goddamn it, Slaanesh must be behind this.
>>
>>370310
>>Maybe "invite" that vampire from down stairs?
>>
>>370310
>Spread the lust pheromone on your way back, maybe the female palace staff will get attracted?
>Maybe "invite" that vampire from down stairs?
>...Invite Claw?
>Reinhold?
DO IT ALL
>>
>>370310
>>Maybe "invite" that vampire from down stairs?
Also that dragon researcher.
>>
>>370322
>>370318
Without claw pls
>>
>>370322
This, and this.
>>370330
>>
>>370310
>>Spread the lust pheromone on your way back, maybe the female palace staff will get attracted?
>>Maybe "invite" that vampire from down stairs?
>>
You invite that vampire, even get Lorriana in on it, and you make sure to keep Claw away, because let's face it, no need to make it more autistic. You also attract a slight horde of female servants and slaves with your pheromone.
It's good to be the Emperor.

Roll me a 4d20+15.
>>
Rolled 18, 3, 11, 17 + 15 = 64 (4d20 + 15)

>>370343
>>
Rolled 9, 3, 18, 13 + 15 = 58 (4d20 + 15)

>>370343
>>
Rolled 16, 4, 14, 3 + 15 = 52 (4d20 + 15)

>>370343
>>
Rolled 6, 13, 17, 6 + 15 = 57 (4d20 + 15)

>>370343
>>
Rolled 15, 20, 1, 20 + 15 = 71 (4d20 + 15)

>>370343
>>
>>370349
Well, the third person we bang is going to not have any fun, but the rest are going to enjoy it a lot.
>>
18, 20, 1, and 20.

Goddamn, writing.
I'd like to put this into detail, but I'd rather not have this become a smut quest.
>>
Rolled 10, 11, 10, 17 + 5 = 53 (4d20 + 5)

>>370359

You give your wife a great tumble, she shows you some moves with her half-dragon tail, and it's rather interesting.
The vampire has... A surprising amount of fun. You give her a great tumble.
For the palace's staff however... Well, a few of them cannot resist your mighty blows. Oh well.
Finally, Lorriana and you get quite into it, and for most of the day you relieve your stress on her.

Ignore my rolling.
>>
You eventually wake up, and get everyone outside. No need to do a second round. You also head into your laboratory. Damn, these pheromones come in handy.

Actions.

>...Research vampirism a little more. (Intelligence.)
>...Maybe you should observe your wife, maybe what happened to Claw might of happened to your wife. (Intelligence)
>...Maybe your pheromones might be a little more... Permanent then you thought. Maybe research it a little more... (Intelligence.)
>Write-In
>>
>>370370
all Preggers
Shieet
Time to leave for some smokes and head to the other dimension
>>
>>370375
>>...Maybe your pheromones might be a little more... Permanent then you thought. Maybe research it a little more... (Intelligence.)
>>
>>370375
>>...Research vampirism a little more. (Intelligence.)
>>
>>370375
>>...Research vampirism a little more. (Intelligence.)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6
>>
Rolled 19 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>370389
>>
>>370393
19+6=25

Overwhelming Success!

After some further study with Vampirism, you find a few things of interest.
First off, they don't really need blood to survive, and get an increased prowess in intelligence and necromancy, but if they don't drink blood, which you find is about two pints exactly, their necromancy and intelligence decrease. They also cannot go out in the sun, or well... Fire and death. In addition, they can in fact, withstand religious symbols, unless they are plated in silver. Finally, vampirism doesn't lead to any personality changes so far, and you finally learn that she is a member of the "Von Carstein" family. Interesting.

Actions.

>...Ask if she infected Julius.
>Are there other forms of vampirism?
>Nah, conclude your research.
>Write-In
>>
>>370410
>>...Ask if she infected Julius.
>>Are there other forms of vampirism?
>>
>>370426
These are good
>>
"Did you infect Julius?"

She shakes her head.

"I don't think so. If you brought him to me, I could see who infected him."

"Hm... Does that mean there are other forms of vamprism?"

She nods her head.

"There are. The Lahmians, the Blood Dragons, Necrarchs, Strigoi, some vampire pirates, some British clan, the Indan, and I think that's it. Oh, and some vampire vikings."

"Jesus, how haven't we heard of them?"

"Well, your world is rather strange. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't have vampires here."

Ah. Alright then.

Actions.

>Sure, ok. Tell me more about one of the clans... (Specify which one.)
>Are they completely different species?
>Alright, let's conclude it.
>...I feel like I know them from somewhere...
>Write-In
>>
>>370457
>Sure, ok. Tell me more about one of the clans... (Specify which one.)
Blood Dragons
>>
>>370465
this
>>
"Alright, fine. Tell me more about the Blood Dragons."

"I thought you might ask. The Blood Dragons are the martial vampires, and fucking awesome. Honorable to a fault, though still willing to stab you in the back, they will never refuse a challenge and excel at absolutely curb-stomping anything put against them in combat. Consummate warriors, they live to fight, and they believe that only cowards feed upon the weak - the only ones that Blood Dragons will willingly feed on are powerful warriors and monsters. So yeah, I suppose they're rather good warriors."

"Jesus, even your knights are willing to betray you?"

"Better then trusting mercenaries."

Actions.

>...Tell me, about the world you come from. I doubt your from this one.
>Tell me about another clan... (Specify)
>...I feel like I remember that from somewhere...
>Write-In
>>
>>370486
>>...I feel like I remember that from somewhere...
>>
>>370486
>>...Tell me, about the world you come from. I doubt your from this one.
>>
>>370486
>...I feel like I remember that from somewhere...
>>
"...I feel like I remember this from somewhere."

"I think you mortals have a game based on my world... Called Warhammer Fantasy, I believe."

"Would that be related to Warhammer 40k, perchance?"

"No, I wouldn't know. You don't find me in those strange stores, which smell like oranges and have strange orange marks all over the books inside."

"...Strange. I will investigate soon... But tell me..."

>...Why the hell did you go into a tabletop store?
>What's your world like?
>Tell me about another clan. (Specify)
>Why should I care?
>Write-In
>>
>>370532
>>What's your world like?
>>
>>370532
>...Why the hell did you go into a tabletop store?
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>370532
>...Why the hell did you go into a tabletop store?
>>
>>370532
>>What's your world like?
>>
>>370550
Why the tabletop?
>>
>>370565
I felt like it
>>
"...Why did you go to a tabletop store?"

"I thought it was a library of elder knowledge, or something like that."

"...How do you get those two things confused?"

"I was told by someone with a neckbeard that it held plenty of "elder lore." Whatever that means."

"...You sure that wasn't Claw?"

"Who?"

"...Nevermind. What's your world like?"

"Erh... Bad? I suppose. Lot's of bad shit happening between the Norscans, the Empire, and the Orks."

Actions.

>...Norscan?
>...Orks? Don't you mean Orcs?
>Empire?
>Cool, whatever. Let's talk about something else.
>Write-In
>>
>>370581
>Cool, whatever. Let's talk about something else.

We all know how it's going to end.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_-MzNpMD1K8
>>
>>370597
Oh god, not the ultrasmurfs!

Can't wait for the next Emperor Text to Speech, to be honest.
>>
>>370581
>>Cool, whatever. Let's talk about something else.
>>
>>370605
Ahem

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UHNJUgat2i8
>>
>>370614
Goddamn it, back to the quest.

"Oh. Well then, let's talk about something else."

"...Alright, I guess."

Actions.

>...So, what exactly is your name?
>Any special talents I can use?
>Is there any way to turn someone from a vampire into a human? O r a half-dragon?
>So, how exactly does the spread of vampirism work?
>Write-In
>>
>>370651
>>Is there any way to turn someone from a vampire into a human? O r a half-dragon?
>>
>>370651
>Is there any way to turn someone from a vampire into a human? O r a half-dragon?
>>
"Is there anyway to turn someone from a vampire into a human? Or a half-dragon?"

She shakes her head.

"The Blood Dragons have been attempting that for millennia. They think by drinking the blood of immortal creatures, you'll have a chance to be mortal again."

"...That's it?"

"Yeah, but keep in mind, they've been doing shit like that for years and it rarely works out well."

"...Would I be cla-"

"No, you wouldn't. We're talking about daemons here, like of Khorne or Tzeentch, basically shit that doesn't have blood in the first place."

"...What?"

"...The Blood Dragons are fucking weird, alright?"

Actions.

>...What the fuck is Khorne?
>...What exactly is your skillset?
>How does the spread of vampirism work?
>What exactly are the Von Carstein vampires?
>Write-In
>>
>>370669
>...What the fuck is Khorne?
We need to ask where the warhammer portal is soon.
>>
>>370674
>inb4 servant of Khorne
>>
>>370669
>Write-In
Where is the warhammer portal?
>>
>>370680
Switching to this
>>
"...Where is the portal you came from?"

"In Paris, it was the portal we and the Skaven clashed over."

"...Hm. Interesting."

"...Well, if you go there, mind if I come along?"

"...Why?"

"I would like to tell my father I'm alright."

"...Well, first off... Who the hell is Khorne?"

"...Depends on what edition you look at."

"What?"

"I-It differs, alright? He enjoys bathing in the blood of his enemies, that sort of thing. In order to pray to him you gotta sacrifice skulls to him. He's picky about them, and you can't half-ass it by decapitating children or something, it's gotta be from a warrior or something, and he gets pissy if you're really strong and try to give him skulls from a bunch of weaker guys."

"...That's nice to know. I guess."

"So, erh... Any plans on visiting that portal soon?"

Actions.

>Sure! Hell, let's see if we can go now.
>...I'll just leave you here, while I go.
>No, I don't have any plans on investigating it.
>Write-In
>>
>>370703
>Sure! Hell, let's see if we can go now.
>>
>>370703
>Sure! Hell, let's see if we can go now.
>>
>>370703
>Sure! Hell, let's see if we can go now.
>>
>>370703
>>No, I don't have any plans on investigating it.
>>
"Sure, let's see if we can't go now."

"Oh, good. Erh, I would recommend against being a dragon or anything. I don't think the world needs to be too grim and dark just yet."

"...That wasn't the plan, but alright!"

"...Maybe you should bring someone along? Just in case?"

Actions. Choose two.

>Bring Claw, the autistic sidekick!
>Bring the yankee Scientist!
>Bring GI-Joe: Werewolf Edition
>Bring Elizabeth, it'll be interesting!
>Bring someone else! (Write-In)
>>
>>370725
>Bring Claw, the autistic sidekick!
>Bring Richard, your brother
>>
>>370725
>Bring Claw, the autistic sidekick!
>Bring GI-Joe: Werewolf Edition
>>
>>370725
>>Bring Elizabeth, it'll be interesting!
>Bring Richard, your brother
>>
>>370725
>Bring Claw, the autistic sidekick!
>Bring Richard, your brother
>>
>>370736
this
>>
Rolled 1, 1, 2, 1 = 5 (4d2)

"Sure, I'll get Claw and Richard."

"Alright, whoever those people are. Could you let me free of my bindings then, please?"

"Oh. Right."

You unlock her bindings, and she stretches.

"Thank you... Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get dressed."

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

You walk out, and gather Claw and Richard. Claw has his eyes closed so "He won't be tempted by women." and Richard is reading a book about something, called Lord of the Rings. He says it was published last night.

You fly off towards Paris, and the vampire tells you that the portal will take us into the Skaven Underground, so prepare to be ready.

You land directly outside where your motorcade once was, and head down into the catacombs. After some searching, you finally find the portal... And go into it.
Ignore my rolling.
>>
As you go in, you find yourself in the Skaven Underground... Without Claw.

"...Does anyone see Claw?"

"He was right behind me!"

"Shit... He might of ended up in Vichy France."

"What's that?"

"Nothing."

The portal closes behind you. Shit.

So... Point of View time.

>Remain as Renexizious in the Skaven Underground.
>Be Claw.

None of these will progress time in the other dimension, so we could finish up Claw, and move onto Renexizious who's still in the Underground, like no time has passed.
>>
>>370751
This is very unsettling...
>>
>>370755
>Be Claw.
>>
>>370755
>>Be Claw.
>>
>>370755
>Be Claw.
>>
You are Claw, and you have no idea where the fuck you are. You hear the portal behind you close, and you open your eyes to... The same room as before? What the hell?

You get on your feet, and find a ventilation shaft with... A surprising amount of dents in it. You naturally are curious, so you climb up it, finding a... Collapsed section of the vent. You fall through it, and end up on the other side in... What seems to be an office basement. On tables, are plenty of... White boxes which glow, with a strange apple symbol beneath them.

Actions.

>...What are those white boxes?
>Oooohh... Lots of wires are around... What happens if I cut one?
>No, resist the urge to fuck around with things and continue on. Where are you, anyways?
>Write-In
>>
>>370783
>Oooohh... Lots of wires are around... What happens if I cut one?
>>
>>370783
>Oooohh... Lots of wires are around... What happens if I cut one?
>>
>>370783
>...What are those white boxes?
>>
>>370783
>...What are those white boxes?
>>
>>370783
>...What are those white boxes?
>>
You go over to the glowing white boxes. A strange... Triangle is on screen, and something saying Password and Username is on it, along with something called Create Account. To your right is some sort of box. Directly below you is a large rectangle with strange buttons which hold letters of the alphabet in... German?

Actions.

>...Create Account?
>What does this box do? Demand that it tell you it's secrets! (Intimidation!)
>Uh, randomly press buttons!
>...It might be food, try to eat a certain part of this thing!
>No, whatever this is, you gotta remember, touching something could result with bad stuff happening.
>Write-In
>>
>>370805
>>Uh, randomly press buttons!
>>
>>370805
>What does this box do? Demand that it tells you it's secrets! (Intimidation!)
>>
>>370805
>What does this box do? Demand that it tell you it's secrets! (Intimidation!)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3 for Intimidating a box.
Thank God Claw already had crippling autism, so we didn't have any boundaries to cross.
>>
Rolled 11 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>370822
>>
Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>370822
>>
Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>370822
>>
>>370825
11+3=14

Minor Success!

You lift up the box, and growl at it! The little box dangles, and... Controls the triangle? You put it back down, and start moving the box around. You decide to call it "Boxy". Since it looks like a box.

Actions.

>Click random things with Boxy!
>What happens if you click Create Account?
>This is... Weird. You don't really want to fuck around with this glowing box anymore.
>See what happens if you type random things.
>Write-In
>>
>>370831
>>See what happens if you type random things.
>>
>>370831
>Click random things with Boxy!
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>370839
This
>>
>>370831
>See what happens if you type random things.
>>
You randomly type things in, and see that it pops up in the Username. Cool! Now, you randomly press keys, and... Your connecting? It seems that for some reason while randomly clicking it... Saved someone else's password and username?

On the box, something saying "World of Reichcraft" appears, and you see a strange... Picture. Something saying "Level 80 SS Officer" and you see a few buttons.

What do!

>Click Delete Character!
>...What happens if you click Create new Character?
>Press the Exit button.
>...Press Play!
>Write-In
>>
>>370874
>>...Press Play!
>>
>>370874
>>Press the Exit button.
>>370874
>>
>>370874
>>...What happens if you click Create new Character?
>>
>>370874
>...What happens if you click Create new Character?

I think Claw finally found his calling which isn't fatherhood or governing.
>>
>>370874
>Click Delete Character!
>>
You click Create new Character with Boxy. There's three icons on the white box... You can apparently select three factions.

>Allies.
>Axis.
>Comiterm.

This is pretty cool!
>>
>>370891
>>Axis.
>>
>>370891
>>Axis
>>
>>370891
>Allies.
>>
Gonna wait five more minutes, anons.
>>
You feel a voice telling you to play Allies, but you decide... What would Ren do?

He'd probably not play this at all, and do something else. But you aren't Ren, you're a goddamned wolfguy from Norway.

You click on Axis anyways.

A screen showing Races pops up... You have a few choices.

>Italian.
>French.
>Finnish.
>German.
>Japanese.
>Spanish.
>Hungarian.
>Romanian.

Huh. This is pretty cool.
>>
>>370914
>Italian
Lets see how bad an italian would be in this game
>>
>>370914
>Romanian.
>>
>>370914
>Finnish.
>>
Gonna wait ten more minutes, anons.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d3)

Whelp, rolling.

1=Italian.
2=Romanian.
3=Finnish
>>
You decide to play an Italian. It seems quite a few classes are locked, but you still have a few to choose from. However, apparently you suffer a minus to Health and Morale, whatever that means.

>Soldier.
>Commando.
>Sniper.
>Marine.
>Tank Driver.
>Engineer.
>Paratrooper.
>...Choose another race. Italians seem pretty bad.
>This is stupid. Exit whatever this box does.
>How dare they portray Italians like this! Smash the box! (Body)
>>
>>370971
Choose another race. German.
>>
>>370971
>Tank Driver.
>>
>>370971
>Engineer.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d3)

Rolling.

1=Select German.
2=Tank Driver.
3=Engineer.
>>
You choose an engineer, and fuck around with whatever "Character Creation" is. You create something looking like you in human form, and that's when you hear footsteps behind you.

"...Bismark? I thought I said to delete that game? We need you to program our V2 Rockets to halt the Allied Advance."

Actions.

>...Say something unintelligible and return to the game. (Autism, HARD)
>...Apologize for breaking and entry.
>Sure?
>Shift into Wolf Form and try to eat him, you need a snack, and no one will distract you from Reichcraft! (Agility)
>Write-In
>>
>>371003
>...Say something unintelligible and return to the game. (Autism, HARD)
>>
>>371003
>>...Say something unintelligible and return to the game. (Autism, HARD)
>>
>>371003
>...Say something unintelligible and return to the game. (Autism, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3 for muttering something.
>>
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>371013
>>
>>371015
Autism God blessed us
>>
>>371015
Claw is more autistic than we thought it seems.
>>
File: 409.png (40 KB, 165x115)
40 KB
40 KB PNG
>>371013
>>371015
>>
>>371015
...What.

"Yea, just put the velcoraptordelxicomb into the ignition slot, then turn the renivaitriarius to 10, then all you have to do after that is press the escaplaidatrion, and hold for five seconds."

"W-What? I can see your busy, sir. I'll institute these into the design ASAP."

"Good, good."

What the fuck is a velcoraptordelxicomb?

You turn back to the game, and it seems you have to name your guy.

>Claw!
>Ren?
>Stojan. You don't know why, though.
>Bismark?
>Write-In
>>
>>371034
Autismo
>>
>>371034
>Xx_KKKlaw_xX69
>>
>>371041
I like this one
>>
>>371041
This.
>>
>>371041
Switching. Shows Claws love for sex too. If he knows what 69 is.
>>
You put in Xx_KKKlaw_xX69.

The screen opens up with... What seems to be a beach. After a tutorial on how to move around, you eventually figure it out, and are given an SMG. You have two skills, Dynamite, and Burst. Apparently, you've just landed on a British colony's coastline, and you've gotta blow up a bunker. While under machine gun fire.

This should be... Interesting.
It seems this is a community event, and people are getting butchered left and right. One of the player's is yelling for someone to carry the flag, and artillery is raining everywhere. It's fucking hell.

Actions.

>Charge, and spam Burst Fire!
>Take cover, and slowly advance up the hill!
>Fuck this, try to get in one of the landing craft and get the fuck out.
>Charge the bunkers and try to throw some dynamite on it!
>Quickly, try to find a group of players so you don't get shot to death as fast!
>...You get extra XP if you carry a flag, but it does increase enemy aggression... Why not carry it? (Free Action.)
>Write-In

Your Health is 100.
Your Stamina is 100.

Skills
Burst Fire! (Fire a three round burst with high accuracy. 3d8 Damage.)
Dynamite! (Put down a dynamite stick, or throw one for massive damage! Takes 12 seconds to explode!)

Your level is 1.
>>
>>371041
Holy shit, my sides.
>>
>>371074
>>Quickly, try to find a group of players so you don't get shot to death as fast!
>>...You get extra XP if you carry a flag, but it does increase enemy aggression... Why not carry it? (Free Action.)
>>
>>371080
This
>>
>>371085
Claw strats dude. Find a group and use the flag to get them all killed. If all else fails, we can autism our way out of the player group.
>>
You pick up the flag, and accidentally type "wwwwww" into the chat while doing so. He yells at you to "use a microphone faggot."
Asshole. You ask him what button microphone is tagged to, and he says it's Y.

"Thanks, I guess."

"Alright, so you're new since you're level one and are in conscript gear. So don't expect to la-"

His head gets blown off by a sniper rifle, and you jump for cover.

Roll me a 1d20 to see if you can find a group of people... Select who you want to find, exactly.

>Some newbies like you.
>Some people with some experience.
>...Roleplayers?
>Elite master elites. Who are probably just little kids.
>Write-In
>>
>>371101
>Elite master elites. Who are probably just little kids.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>371101
>...Roleplayers?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>371101
>Some newbies like you.
>Elite master elites. Who are probably just little kids.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>371107
>>371101
Forgot roll
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>371101
>...Roleplayers?
>>
>>371101
>>Some newbies like you.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Just gonna roll.

1=Roleplayers.
2=Elite Masters
>>
13

You find a small group of roleplayers, who motion for you to come over. You note that they all look new as well.

You rush up, and wave the flag yelling...
"I bear a flag! I don't know what's going on!"

"What happened to your division?"

"I don't know, I just landed."

"Jesus. Listen up, we plan on charging straight in there, and you're our only engineer, alright? So when we get up there, toss some dynamite in!"

"Problem is, I'll probably get shot! Or exploded!"

"That's a risk we're all willing to take for Rome, how far will you go?"

"...So long as I don't get killed."

"Well, that's gonna be a problem. We HAVE to charge. Or else artillery's gonna lock onto us and blow us the fuck out."

Actions.

>...Sure, go along with the plan!
>No, it's suicide and you don't want to die!
>We can plan this out some more guys! Why don't we just stay down!
>Write-In
>>
>>371121
Well, at least we're meeting people as autistic as us.
>>
>>371139
>No, it's suicide and you don't want to die!
Claw is autistic enough to think it's real.
>>
>>371139
>>We can plan this out some more guys! Why don't we just stay down!
>>
>>371139
>...Sure, go along with the plan!

We took the flag, we gonna go for full hero status.
>>
Waiting five more minutes anons.
>>
>>371139
>No, it's suicide and you don't want to die!
>>
>>371139
>>...Sure, go along with the plan!
changed my vote
>>
"...Let's do it, then."

The commander nods, and turns to the regiment.

"Many of you come from Italy, many more of you have no interest in this war, but today we stand together, to fight for Rome! Now, who wants to live forever?!"

The squad cheers, and begins their charge. You follow behind.

Roll me a 2d20, first is how well YOU get through this, second is how well the squad gets through this.
>>
Rolled 17, 18 = 35 (2d20)

>>371190
>>
Rolled 4, 20 = 24 (2d20)

>>371190
I've had shit rolls before, so please, Kek, let me not nat 1.
>>
>>371196
4,20.
Thank you Trump-sama.
>>
17, and a twenty!

You rush through artillery fire, machine gun fire, you feel like a hero. Your squad is untouched, and begin their ascent up the slopes of this hill. Your squad comes up to the enemy bunker, and motion for you to toss the Dynamite.

Roll me a 1d20 to see if you can throw the dynamite in there!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>371217
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>371217
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>371217
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>371217
>>
>>371228
17

Good Success!

You toss the dynamite in, and then you hear an explosion, and the words "LEVEL UP" appear on the screen.

You can get three different skills.

>Boobytrap, set a trap with some dynamite if an enemy uses an object!
>Long Toss, throw something 15% Farther, get a +1 on Tossing.
>Repair, repair tanks and other vehicles with ease!

Your HP is now 115.
You are now Level 2!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>371243
>Boobytrap, set a trap with some dynamite if an enemy uses an object!
>Long Toss, throw something 15% Farther, get a +1 on Tossing.
>Repair, repair tanks and other vehicles with ease!
>>
>>371243
>>Repair, repair tanks and other vehicles with ease!
>>371243
>>
>>371243
>Boobytrap, set a trap with some dynamite if an enemy uses an object!
>>
>>371243
>Boobytrap, set a trap with some dynamite if an enemy uses an object!


booby hehe
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Tie.

1=Repair.
2=Boobytrap.
>>
You take a rank in Boobytrap, and you hear footsteps in real life, behind you.

"Who's there?"

You see a man with a flashlight.

"What are you doing at my computer?"

Actions.

>...Eat him for disturbing your game. (Agility)
>Uh. Knock him out? (Body)
>Flee! (Agility)
>...Try to befriend him? (Charisma)
>Write-In
>>
>>371275
>...Try to befriend him? (Charisma)
Name and Rank, Officer.
>>
>>371275
>...Try to befriend him? (Charisma)
>>
>>371275
>>...Eat him for disturbing your game. (Agility)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+1 for the infamous Charisma Roll.
>>
Rolled 13 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>371290
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>371290
>>
Rolled 8 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>371290
>>
>>371294
13+1=14

Minor Failure!

"I-I uh.. I was... Polishing, your... Box."

"...What does that even mean?"

"...I don't know."

He sighs.

"Listen, how the hell did you even get in here? I thought this base was top-secret."

"...I... I walked in?"

Actions..

>...Tell him not to tell anyone important that your here. Please? (Charisma, HARD)
>...Shapeshift, and stuff him into your slimy body. Maybe you can interrogate him for his password and username for later. (Agility)
>Nom time. (Agility)
>Try to knock him out? (Strength)
>Write-In
>>
>>371314
>>Try to knock him out? (Strength)
>>
>>371314
>...Shapeshift, and stuff him into your slimy body. Maybe you can interrogate him for his password and username for later. (Agility)
>>
>>371314
>...Shapeshift, and stuff him into your slimy body. Maybe you can interrogate him for his password and username for later. (Agility)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+10 for enveloping him.
>>
Rolled 3 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>371333
>>
Rolled 17 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>371333
>>
Rolled 9 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>371333
>>
Rolled 1 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>371333
>>
>>371359
Why even roll?!
>>
>>371359
Oh shit
>>
>>371359
Are you fucking me right now? I rolled a perfectly good 17.
>>
File: RobTheCard.png (232 KB, 312x445)
232 KB
232 KB PNG
>>371359
Whelp.
GG.

"H-Hey, what's that behind you!"

"I'm not falling for that one!"

You transform, you were fully expecting him to believe your bluff, but you slip on your own slime, nearly knocking the guy over.

"Wh-What? What are you?"

You growl, you just wanted to fucking play on his bo-
And he's running for the alarm. Shit.

Actions.

>...Chase after him! (Agility, HARD)
>...Promise him... Uh. Promise he can pet you? (Charisma)
>Well... Shit. Use Vacuum Breath! (Agility)
>Write-In
>>
>>371385
>...Promise him... Uh. Promise he can pet you? (Charisma)
>>
Sorry anons, but I forgot to put the pet thing as HARD.
>>
>>371385
>>Well... Shit. Use Vacuum Breath! (Agility)
>>
Gonna wait five more minutes anons.
>>
>>371385
>>...Promise him... Uh. Promise he can pet you? (Charisma)
>>
>>371389
>>371416
>>371398
>>371290
>>
Roll me a 1d20+1 for Charisma.
>>
Rolled 11 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>371428
>>
Rolled 17 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>371428
No.
>>
Rolled 8 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>371428
Baby needs something other than a 1!
>>
17+1=18

Minor Success!

"Wait!"

He stops.

"...What if I let you pet me?"

You give him doggo eyes, similar to what you did to the White Death.

"...Oh god."

You roll over.

"Please... Don't do this p-pupper."

You pant, and slightly twist your head.

"Goddamn it, fine."

He goes out to pet you on the head, which for he has to stand in his tip-toes. This might be a good time to trigger your trap card.

>...Get his hand to be stuck in the slime.
>...Pounce for the throat, then eat him. You don't like being petted.
>Petting is fun!
>Casually mention that he could always pull up another computer and join you on World of Reichcraft. (Charisma)
>Shift back, operation done, and no need to be a huge wolfguy any more. (Free Action)
>Write-In
>>
>>371454
>Casually mention that he could always pull up another computer and join you on World of Reichcraft. (Charisma)
>>
>>371454
>>Petting is fun!
I have no idea what this action actually is.
>>
>>371454
>Petting is fun!
>Casually mention that he could always pull up another computer and join you on World of Reichcraft. (Charisma)

I'm kind of disappointed that World of Reichcraft didn't allow us to choose our gender. Claw definitely seems like the guy who would choose a female character.
>>
>>371469
I don't either, not anymore. My mind is confused.

>>371472
I was tempted, but that's only if you play the Comiterm, comrade. Mostly because only they used female soldiers.
>>
>>371454
>Casually mention that he could always pull up another computer and join you on World of Reichcraft. (Charisma)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+1.

Also, I'm somewhat tempted to create a character sheet for the World of Reichcraft, unless you want this to remain a one-time gimmick.
>>
Rolled 18 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>371492
>>
18+1=19

"So, uh. Feel like playing some World of Reichcraft?"

"Sure, I guess. Hang on, let me steal a computer."

He goes in the back, and comes out with another computer. You go back to playing World of Reichcraft, and give Bismark the basic info.

"You back yet, Private?"

"Huh? What? Sorry, I was thinking about something."

"Alright, so it seems the enemy has falle- Wait, why do you sound different?"

You cough.
"Uh. Nothing, just a cold."

"Alright, I guess. We're pushing up and we could use the help. Mostly because the enemy is in a town, and we've been assigned to go in first.

"You got it!"

"Good, and keep that flag close."

"Alright... Say, what way are we going in?"

"Well, I thought about going through the streets, since the ques- I mean the objective is there."

Actions.

>That's suicide! We'll get blown up or worse!
>Why don't we go through the houses?
>We should just, uh... Disregard the suicide mission orders.
>Why don't we just take a jeep or something?
>Write-In
>>
>>371527
>Why don't we go through the houses?
>>
>>371527
>Why don't we just take a jeep or something?
>>
>>371527
>Why don't we just take a jeep or something?
>>
"Why don't we just take a jeep to get there?"

"Because private, none of us have unlocked the ability to use a car!"

"Oh. Could we borrow someone else's car?"

"That isn't how the army works for some reason!"

"Jeez. Alright, why don't w-"

You hear a honk behind you, and see a... A level 80 SS Officer.

"Hey, I heard you could use some help!"

"...Bismark?"

"It's Officer Baguette to you, private!"

"...Well, I guess we have a ride now, sergeant."

"By God... We might actually make it through this thing alive! Get on the S.S's officers jeep!"

Bismark drives the jeep into town... You don't really see much besides some NPCs.

"Alright, listen up, it seems like we can buy equipment here from some black market dealers, so stock up."

You get out of the jeep, and you find you have $250 dollars.

Actions.

>Visit the gun dealer, your SMG is a piece of shit.
>Trainer?
>Maybe the clothier.
>Everyone knows the best rewards are earned from side-quests! Find some side quests to do!
>...Just get back in the jeep, everyone knows that buying stuff from the store is plebian tier.
>Write-In
>>
>>371562
>>Maybe the clothier.
We're with roleplayers, and roleplayers buy things they need.
>>
>>371562
Gun dealer then side quests. Then go to the clothier if we have time.
>>
>>371562
>>Visit the gun dealer, your SMG is a piece of shit.
>>
You go to the gun dealer, and a tab opens up infront of you for weaponry. Overhead, is his name, Leukark.

>Conscript Rifle ($75)
>Crude Machine Gun ($200)
>Discarded SMG ($50)
>Old Pistol ($50)
>Looted Bazooka. ($700)
>Leukark's Old Pistol ($450)

Your current SMG is a Trainee's Submachine Gun. It has no unique features.
>>
>>371592
Is the discarded SMG any better than ours? Otherwise let's grab the crude machine gun.
>>
>>371592
>>Crude Machine Gun ($200)
>>
>>371598
No, it's equal to yours.
>>
>>371592
>Crude Machine Gun ($200)
>>
You purchase the Crude Machine Gun. It seems Burst Fire works with it, though it does slow you down.

After that's done, you hear a large gathering of people headed your way. In real life. Bismark turns to you.

"...Shit. Everyone just got off their break."

Actions.

>...Just continue playing, maybe they won't notice a giant wolfman playing a vidja game in their room.
>Fuck... Hide under the table?
>Maybe you can transform fast enough to blend in, even if it is unlikely.
>Shit... Climb up the wall and stick there! Maybe they won't notice you dripping slime down once in a while.
>Uh... Rampaging might help out here, actually.
>Write-In
>>
>>371619
>Shit... Climb up the wall and stick there! Maybe they won't notice you dripping slime down once in a while.
>>
>>371619
>>Maybe you can transform fast enough to blend in, even if it is unlikely.
>>
Waiting ten more minutes.
>>
>>371619
>...Just continue playing, maybe they won't notice a giant wolfman playing a vidja game in their room.
>>
>>371619
>>Maybe you can transform fast enough to blend in, even if it is unlikely.
>>
Roll me a 1d20 to see how fast you can transform.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>371663
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>371663
>>
>>371684
16
vs
15

Borderline Success

You change shape just a little too slow. The engineers who walk in are... Confused. You attempt to get out of your chair, and find that you left quite a big puddle of slime. Sucks to be... Bismark, you guess.

You slowly get up, and Bismark talks to you.

"Come on, I'm the local IT guy, so I have my own room."

"...Why didn't you just play this game in that room?"

"Because I'm not allowed a computer in there, but come on. We can hang out, I guess."

Actions.

>Sure, I guess.
>...I think I can clear out the engineers, don't worry.
>Nah, I'm good... Even if I might get caught playing.
>Write-In
>>
>>371696
>>Sure, I guess.
>>
Waiting five more minutes.
>>
>>371696
>...I think I can clear out the engineers, don't worry.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Sure.
2=Clear them out.
>>
"Don't worry, I can clear them out."

"How?"

Actions.

>...Channel your inner sperg.
>Uh... Shapeshift back into a wolfman? That tends to scare people.
>...Are there any ladies around?
>Uh, I guess... I guess I could just go into a rampage. In human form. (Body, HARD)
>Shapeshift and then rampage. That tends to work out well. (Body)
>Write-In
>>
>>371724
>>...Channel your inner sperg.
>>
>>371724
>...Channel your inner sperg.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3 for inner autism.
>>
Rolled 18 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>371731
>>
Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>371731
>>
>>371732
Claw has truly been blessed by the Autism Gods.

18+3=21

You awkwardly get up, and talk to the person behind you. Outloud.

"Is your mom still having those problems?"

The man awkwardly get outs. You go up to the next person.

"Why is the word rapist in therapist?"

He also awkwardly gets out. The next person over is a girl, and you have a crazy idea.

"...Are you wearing underwear?"

"Pervert."

The final co-worker awaits... And you say something also autistic.

"How do jellyfish reproduce?"

He fucking runs for it.

"Problem solved."

"...If you worked here, I'm fairly sure everyone could of sued you for sexual harrassment."

"LET'S NOT DWELL ON THAT!"

"Honestly though, they'll be back and probably realize you aren't supposed to be here."

Actions.

>...Can I crash at your place for a little while?
>So... Mind if I steal this computer? And can I stay at your place for a while?
>Oh well. Let's keep playing.
>Write-In

...On scale of 1-10, how fucking awkward were the things that Claw said?
>>
>>371754
6-8.
"Why is the word rapist in therapist?"
and
"How do jellyfish reproduce?"
were pretty damn autistic,but the others were kind of...meh.
>>
>>371754
So... Mind if I steal this computer? And can I stay at your place for a while?
>>
>>371754
>So... Mind if I steal this computer? And can I stay at your place for a while?
About a 6, could have been more autistic
>>
"Oh. Well... Mind if I steal this computer?"

"...Only if you don't get us caught."

"Oh. Good. Can I stay at your place for a while?"

"Sure, I guess. Just don't get slime everywhere, alright?"

"Oh, thanks."

So, time for PoV change.

>Change back to Renexizious in the Skaven Underground!
>Claw's escape from the Computer Place!

>>371779
I'll ask you guys for autistic things to say then.
>>
>>371785
>Change back to Renexizious in the Skaven Underground!
>>
>>371785
>>Change back to Renexizious in the Skaven Underground!
>>
>>371785
>Change back to Renexizious in the Skaven Underground!
>>
You are now Renexizious.

"So, we lost Claw. How much are you guys willing to bet he's probably trying to eat something or "charm" women?"

No one raises their hands.

"...Right. Forgot that I was the only one with experience when it came to Claw."

"Who's Claw again?" the Vampire asks.

"...The other guy not a half-dragon."

"Oh."

You nearly step in charred Skaven. Right... Oh.

You look around, and see that you are in fact, in the presence of a Skaven Hive.

"Whelp. Anyone feel like fighting their way out?"

"...Couldn't we just ask nicely?" Your bro, Richard says.

"Skaven don't understand "nice" sweetheart."

"...Well, we could always go back through the porta-"

You hear the portal close behind you, which sounds like a thunderous boom.

"...Shit. The portal just close didn't it."

"Yep."

Well then... What do?

>Whelp, burn them out, pillage their city, the good stuff. Shapeshift into Dragon Form, basically.
>...Actually try to sneak through. You are underground after all. (Agility)
>Fuck this, try to burrow to the surface. Hopefully everyone else can keep up. Even if they are left behind in Skavenland.
>...Cast a spell?
>Pheromones always do the trick!
>Write-In
>>
>>371811
Burn them out.
>>
>>371811
>Whelp, burn them out, pillage their city, the good stuff. Shapeshift into Dragon Form, basically.

Let's just tank our way through and get out the Skaven underway.
>>
>>371811
>>Whelp, burn them out, pillage their city, the good stuff. Shapeshift into Dragon Form, basically.
>>
>>371811
>Whelp, burn them out, pillage their city, the good stuff. Shapeshift into Dragon Form, basically.
>>
You shift upward, and see... Holy shit. That is a fuckton of Skaven. Your two heads computes that it's about... More then a million.

Well. Hopefully that will change.

Actions.

>Wake up Flames, he's going to enjoy this part, especially the part with the fire and the death. (Body)
>See how far crushing will get you. (Body)
>Eating? Uncivilized as hell, you won't put any dirty rat people in your mouth! Unless you have butter, of course. Even then, if the voices say yes... (Body)
>You know, as much as you would like to set things on fire, you gotta remember that a giant cave system bellowing out smoke is not a good sign. Try ice instead. (Body)
>Acid, acid rain! (Body)
>Meh, burrow through important buildings and structures, try to get things to collapse, that sort of thing. (Agility)
>Cast a spell?
>Pheromones go!
>Write-In
>>
>>371837
>Pheromones go!
>>
>>371842
This.
>>
>>371844
That
>>
>>371837
>>Wake up Flames, he's going to enjoy this part, especially the part with the fire and the death. (Body)
>>
So, what pheromone.

>Lust.
>Drowsiness.
>Loyalty
>Pleasure.
>Fear.
>>
>>371849
>>Fear.
>>
>>371849
>Lust.
I'll either be horrified or amazed if this wins
>>
>>371853
This
>>
>>371853
+1

Get out that hundred year old whiskey QM
>>
Oh god.
Roll me a 1d20 to see if this works.
>>
>>371858
>>371858
Hang on, killing my self because I rolled a one.
The dice gods do not like sanity among their faithful, it seems.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>371858
My fuckin sides
>>
>>371861
Oh good god
>>
>>371859
>>371861
Bwhahahahaha!
>>
File: 1468202425595.gif (1.13 MB, 260x146)
1.13 MB
1.13 MB GIF
>>371861
What have we done
>>
>>371861
>inb4 dead OP
>inb4 alcoholic coma
>>