WELCOME TO THE DO YOUR BEST QUEST BEACH GRAND PRIX!The ULTIMATE competition for supreme BRAGGING RIGHTS! Where the teams will race each other in vehicles of all shapes and forms at the beach for ETERNAL VICTORY! Of course, everyone is wearing swimwear for some reason.Each team consist of 3 characters (that are not Entities or animals) with one leading as a captain! Of course, you (Johnny) are the captain of your own team!This thread is not canon, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t any stakes in here and the interactions between characters are going to be much different than in canon!The Winners’ team captain will have a thread of his/her own! (Same as Flint in Do Your Best Quest: Grilled Justice!) And since Johnny is the main character, he will pick one of his companions to take this valuable prize instead!The rules are simple: The first one to get to the finish line wins! The second one is to try not to kill each other…But first, let’s decide who your two partners are going to be! You can pick ANYONE! Yes, even if he’s dead or not! Just no entities or animals. Who do you pick?Write In.
>>3505648Actual Rules and how votes work hereWe always roll 1d100’s!The game will be divided into 2 parts. One is Johnny and Team actions, and the other is how the other teams are faring.Johnny and Team will require a best of 3 to see if their actions are a success or not, which will catapult them to higher positions or will leave them behind. As always, this is a story-driven quest regardless if absurdity has taken over, what the prompts are describing is more important than how great the roll was.The last few positions in the race will be in danger of dropping out completely, so be careful not to lag too much behind.Now the second part is to aid or to sabotage the other teams! You will have one roll and you will select one team to support and one team to thwart. If you are the highest roll in this part you will help the team you want to go up some places – you can give teams a hefty lead as well! If you are the lowest roll in this part, the team you decided to thwart will start doing poorly – it’s possible you can make the team lose the race completely.Reminder: It’s not the highest voted team who will have been aided or thwarted. Just the one indicated in the post that has the biggest dice roll/ smallest dice roll. So you can be as selfish as you want.Have fun!
>>3505648>Yu Yan and MatildaDespite not being entity users I consider them among the most competent members of our team
>Pornstar and MomSorry for re-doing this post three times in a row. Computer fucked up everything.
>>3505658Since it seems we're in limbo I'll change to; >Mom and AmeliaFor a nice family ride, let's hope nobody dies in a car accident
>>3505648>Yu Yan and Amelia
>>3505649I vote for yu yan and Matilda too
>>3505704I'll second this
>>3505649Mom and Amelia
>>3505648Mom and Matilda
Mom and Amelia wins! The Family Ride is the confirmed team! Now please select one of these cars! Stats are completely meaningless, so don’t take them seriously. Which vehicle do you pick? >Write In.
>>3505769>this car is actually shit DEJA VU
>>3505649Mom and Yu Yan
Rolled 6 (1d15)>>3505769going for random select
>>3505769>Blue FalconWho the fuck wouldn't want to ride one?
>>3505769>Giant MelodiaBest cat.
>>3505769>7.- Lion thingShirooooooou!
>>3505769Nina's Scooter so the family totem pole can T-pose for dominance.
>>3505769Changing to lion thing
>>3505769>Mom's hearseWhy the fuck are you guys not voting for this?
>>3505838Changing to this
(These are going to take a while.)“Welcome to the EXTREME SUMMER GRAND PRIX OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP! Do not misunderstand us, ladies and gentlemen – there is NO LOVE OR FRIENDSHIP in these tracks! So expect a BLOODBATH! I’m your head announcer today, beloved by children and cats the same – the most charismatic and intelligent: Bastet! Joined by the ever smiling, Philonune – how are you doing today?”“I’m doing great today, thank you.” Philonune is smirking as always.“Today’s race is divided into 8 large sections, each filled with more deadly traps that our contestants need to somehow overcome! Either way! Let’s meet our competitors! Take it from here, Saraswati!”Close to the starting line, Saraswati is floating around the 1st vehicle!“Hello ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to another edition of this derby demolition we try to mask as a racing event!” Saraswati poses for the camera! “The first team is here already, from mostly Johnny’s apartment, riding an Auto-Rickshaw, the team consists of Yu Yan Liamishi, Matilda Spice and their leader Nariko Edamura! They are The Hobos and their caretaker!“…Who named us that?” Yu Yan is a little irked.“I’m carrying this team anyway. So it’s pretty much correct.” Matilda as impasse as ever.“I-I’m going to prove my worth… T-This time I’ll show you all I’m really competent.” Nariko hypes herself up.“We’re doomed.” Yu Yan sentences.The crowd was pretty much behind this team until they announced Nariko as their leader. Harsh.
>>3505991“Next, the second team! From the New Calamity’s Clinic, riding an ambulance, The team consisting of Dr. Imminenté Calamity, Nurse Katastrophic Calamity and their leader Constance Strangelove! They are the Calamity Clinic Collision!”“S-So if we win, maybe I’ll be able to f-find my parents…?” Constance’s eyes are shining.“We will bring them down for you, sweetheart.” Kata seems eager to make the little mummy’s wish a reality.“HahHAHahHAHha! It won’t be easy! But we will give them our best shot.” Dr. Calamity seems to be in a great mood.The crowd is cheering hard for Constance. How cute!
>>3506000Yeah, go Constance!
>>3506000“Now, the third team! From the wealthy part of the city, riding the Golden Fox, The team consisting of Danforth Villiers, Dorothy Villiers and their leader Lise Villiers! They are the Villiers!”“Dear, why is this brat going to get the spotlight instead of us? Does she really need another full episode to embarrass herself again? Almost getting crippled wasn’t shameful enough?” Dorothy talks to her husband.“For the last time, treat our daughter with respect…” Danforth seems uncomfortable.“Mom! You’re such a—”“Bitch? I know. Your simple minded insults are endearing for a child, but just because your brain didn’t mature at the same pace as the rest of your body, doesn’t mean you’re still one. Such a disappointment…”“…” Lise grinds her teeth.The crowd didn’t make any noise with this announcement. Damn…
>>3506000>The crowd is cheering hard for Constance. How cute!Good for her, she deserves it
>>3506010 “…Ehem, the f-fourth team! From the right side of history, riding a TANK!, The team consisting of the dictator, Lazarus Don Gordon Jr., cult leader, Bernando Ammirati and their leader Elicarto Lloydington! They are the Good Guys!“What did you just say about me?” President Don Gordon Jr. is not one bit happy with Saraswati’s comments. “Take her away. Now.”The security grabs and takes away the bear from her cloud, she was yelling something about you can’t silence the press or something… Now she’s being replaced by Dhrtarastra.“S’up hommies, it’s me.” Dhrtarastra introduces himself. “So what’s up with this team? Aren’t you enemies? Why go for a team?” He asks Ammirati.“I thought it would be funny.” Ammirati confesses.“Why is he the cap?” Dhrtarastra points to Lloydington, who grabs the mic away from Dhrtarastra.“Because I decisively won rock, papers, and scissors!” He exclaims proudly… Dhrtarastra actually pushes him away and takes his mic back.“Don’t fucking touch my mic or I’ll fucking kill you.”Security ran over Dhrtarastra, but he’s fighting back. The feed mysteriously cut…Now we’re with Athelone instead! She will serve as Saraswati’s new permanent replacement.Continuining when I have the rest done…
>>3505991>The Hobos and their caretaker!I regret not being in this teamMaybe next year...
>>3506016Those dictators mean serious business.
“Now, the fifth team! From someone’s basement, riding a golf cart, the team consisting of Sewel Scott, Robert Conti and their leader Craig Harris! They are Poker Night Aces!”“…But we never won once.” Craig scratches the back of his head.“This is another great opportunity to leave Ando out of the equation, he will pay for what he did to me! His smug smile will be wiped once and for all!” Mr. Conti still harbors rancor towards you.“Didn’t Osgood fuck you up last game? Why are you taking it out on the kid?” Sewel is confused.“Oh, did someone forget he also lost to Ando? Hmph, that’s why you never end up winning anything with that terrible memory of yours.”“I-I’ll fucking you show, you cunt.” Sewel is ready to take on the race.“G-Guys, I don’t really know if it’s a good idea if we win. I mean, I’m not one of the most interesting guys out there.” Craig doesn’t seem to want to win.“Don’t be a little shit and at least try for once, okay?” Sewel seems mad at Craig's unwillingness to attempt victory.“Fine.” Craig now looks pretty pissed.The crowd booed them hard, mostly thanks to Mr. Conti.
>>3506101“I feel rather pointless just shouting this over and over again, but next – your sixth team! From different places, riding a Horse!, the team consisting of Joel Tomah, Ruffus ‘the man’ Hugg and their leader Stan Ando! They are Stan Ando and Others!”“E-Excuse me, why am I teaming up with this filthy idiot? Why is our team named like that? I exclusively asked not to be paired with any Andos!” Joel stares at Stan with disgust. “And why is he the leader?”“Because guess which of us actually pleased your wife?” Stan Ando fires back.“Y-You…!”“My, my. There is no need to fight, I know if we put our differences aside, this race will be ours for the taking.” Ruffus tries to put peace back.“Blah, if Johnny is one of the favorites to win, shit must be easy.” Stan cracks his knuckles. “Just don’t get in my way.” Stan Ando jumps on the horse first.The crowd had pretty mild hate towards Joel for some reason.
>>3506102“Now team seventh. It’s Henry.” Athelone didn’t even try to feign enthusiasm.“…Why am I alone?” Henry wonders as he’s on a pogo stick.
>>3506104“Now ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your ninth team! From the Green Foothill High School, riding a Hovercraft!, the team consisting of Terrance Denton, Soh Futaki and their leader George Adams! They are Henry’s friends!”“Okay, hold on. The fuck is this?” Henry is dumbfounded.“Uuhh… We thought you already had a team.” Soh explains. “And Terry seemed lonely, so we invited him over.”“Sorry, Henry. Maybe next time.” Terry looks genuinely apologetic.“Yo Henry, if I ended up winning – I wouldn’t mind giving you the prize!” George says as a true bro.“No. I’m fine. I’ll show you all I can do this shit! I’m tired of being overlooked and underestimated! To all of you!” He points at the crowd. “This is the last time I’ll be your laughing stock!”“…Henry, I don’t want to rain on your parade, but… you’re on a pogo stick. Good luck with that!” George starts laughing.“…” Henry bounces away in shame.The crowd wasn’t engaged until Henry gave his speech, then he received some mildly applauses…Continuing when I have the rest done…
>>3506106Calling it now, Henry is gonna win.
>>3506102>“Because guess which of us actually pleased your wife?” Stan Ando fires back.Damn, shots fired>>3506104>Henry>Pogo stickPerfect>>3506106>“No. I’m fine. I’ll show you all I can do this shit! I’m tired of being overlooked and underestimated! To all of you!” He points at the crowd. “This is the last time I’ll be your laughing stock!”I can't wait for him to job instantly
“Everyone, the Ninth team! From a strangely formed friendship, riding a Giant Chewirton!, the team consisting of Yukika Ikeda, Nia ‘Sammi’ Sambou and their leader Scarlet Argyle! They are Scarlet is kind of decent Team!”“Ha! They actually let us use that one, nice.” Sammi laughs to herself.“That’s embawassing!” Scarlet shuts her mouth with her hands when she lets her lisp run wild.“So cuuuute! Isn’t she?” Sammi points at redder than normal Scarlet.“Scarlet, don’t let this distract you! If you win, you will totally have your chance to confess to Johnny and there is no way he’s going to say no! Right, Chewy?” Yukika seems pretty hyped.“Woof.” Chewirton the always collected responds.“Just imagine! Having him all for yourself! Cuddling and kissing for hours… And hours… with that nice hair of his and those eyes…” Yukika slowly starts losing her enthusiasm. Almost feels like she’s regretting something.“A-Are you okay, Yuki?” Scarlet checks on her friend.“Yeah, I’m f-fine…” Yukika stares at Johnny in the distance.“Yo, you want my girl’s man, right?” Sammi puzzles it together.“N-No! Not at all! W-We better start preparing!” Yukika jumps on the Giant Chewirton.“…Whatever makes him happy the most.” Scarlet shrugs as she jumps as well.The crowd was nuts for Chewirton. He’s a star after all.
>>3506232“Now presenting, the tenth team! From an even more strangely formed friendship as well, riding a shitty looking van…, The team consisting of Osgood Gaumont, your eternal Poker Night Champion Bradford Cahill and their leader Ruby Koroma! They are Ruby is better than Scalet, don’t at me.”“I’m not going to argue with facts, but who named us like that…?” Osgood is bewildered.“Haha! Victory shall be ours, my friend! But I wonder… Where is my belt?” Bradford wonders.“I took it.” Mr. Conti appears in the frame.“W-What?! My most prized possession! H-How could you…? I was buried with it!”“Don’t be ridiculous, I took it way before that. You’re dead, you don’t need it. Poker Nights must go on!”“Y-Yes, b-b-but how uncouth of you? I-It’s mine. I won it fair and square”“You think someone saw me, you foolish oafish?” Conti smirks. “And you lost it fair and square by dying. Do you think you will mind after today? I don’t think so.”“C-Can you go back to your fucking car or whatever? Just go away!” Osgood kicks Mr. Conti to a round of cheers. “Jeez, no wonder why Conti hates you.”“But I’m me! I’m Conti!”“GO AWAY! I meant your son, you dumb ass…” “…And this is why I didn’t like you going to that place. The nerve of that man.” Ruby feels validated.“Don’t be like that… Besides, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem from now on…” Osgood’s expression changes completely.“What do you mean?” Ruby is confused.Aside from kicking Mr. Conti away, they were received with a chorus of boos. Ouch.
>>3506234“Now team eleventh. From different prison cells, riding a broom!, The team consisting of Terrorist B, Terrorist C, and their leader Terrorist A! They are the Terror Inducing Trio!“M-My name is Jaylene Larsen!” Terrorist B says.“I’m Rhys Frie!” Terrorist C says.“And I’m Oliver Watts!” Terrorist A yells.“Silence, you unrefined tawdry. I never gave you the punishment you rats deserved for laying your dirty maggot fingers on my crystal princess. I should have eliminated you when I had the chance.” Athelone barks back. “But maybe the gods are smiling upon me, I may take this opportunity to do so now…”“S-Stop! S-Security!” Oliver yells at the monster as both of his partners are hiding behind him in terror.Security takes Athelone away.“D-Don’t worry guys, we will win this race and I’ll find a way to bring you guys back.” Oliver Watts.“AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!” Athelone starts laughing uncontrollably after hearing Oliver’s remarks from afar. “THERE IS NO WAY TO BRING BACK THE DEAD! HAHAHAHA! FOOLISH IDIOTS!”The trio remains in silence for a second until Jaylene says something.“Doesn’t matter. We want you to have a better life from now on. If we win, there is a chance for you to turn things around.”“Yeah, Oliver! It’s the least you deserve!” Rhys nods.“Guys…” Oliver is about to cry. “W-We will win!”The crowd couldn’t care less until Athelone said those mean things, but they actually cheered for her.
>>3506237Athelone is replaced by none other than Welimor! People are cheering for her for some reason!“Woohoo! Thanks, everyone!” Welimor seems pretty cheerful. “Now, without further ado, here’s the 12th team! From some money laundering scheme! Riding a Formula 1 Car! Flint Masterson! Gonzales! And their leader…. MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKHAEEEEEEEEEL KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!”“Thank you, thank you! You’re so kind!” Ka-Shing seems pretty hyped up, the crowd seems to love him.“Yeesh, how much you pay them for this?” Flint is confused.“You think this kind of love can be bought? I’m the star of the show and they know it, baby!” Ka-Shing laughs.“…Let’s be real. How much?” Flint now is asking Ka-Shing’s bodyguard Gonzales if this is true or not.“They love him for creating Lieutenant of Headpats. Little do they know he was the one who wanted her nerfed…”“What? What the fuck are you talking about?” Flint is confused. “Anyway, how are we going to fit in that shit?”As said before, they were loved way too much for your comfort.Continuing when I have the rest done…
>>3506232What a cute bunch of cucks
“Now the 13th team!” Welimor is hyping it up. “From reality, riding a weird looking van, The team consisting of Tobias “7W157” Phonte, Kazuchika Storgaard – and their team leader Howie Dewitt! They are Team this is how we do it!“I told you all I would have my revenge. I didn’t think it would have been this early. But after today, Howie will carry on my torch – bring me back and we will make sure none of you scum gets to see another day.” Kazuchika Storgaard addresses the other participants with his normal harsh tone.“…Yeah, and your local team sport sucks!” 7W157 makes it lame.“Hehehe… Did you hear that, Johnny? Trent? Ugly dyke? You wanted to deter me, but that has only made me stronger! Now, when I get my chance, you all will rot in hell! Because I will save the world! I! I!” Howie starts laughing maniacally.“You mean us, right…?” 7W157 seemed a little uncomfortable.“Of course, together we will change society!” Howie somehow still believes in friendship.The crowd ignored them.
>>3506362“Please welcome this team, because they are the bomb!” Welimor points to the next group! “With their explosive nature, they erupt to the scene from the Pitfall Arcade, they bang their way through as they are about to blow up! They are riding a DUCK!, Wilvy! Gunther! And their leader Jamie Lang! They are the EXPLOSIVE MENACE!“Hehe, it’s funny because we exploded.” Gunther laughs to himself. Jamie slaps the back of his head.“Man, it really feels weird – it’s like our first lines of dialogue.” Wilvy touches his throat.“Shut up, and look at me!” Wilvy and Gunther turn to Jamie. “I have no idea what happened while we are dead, but we will fuck this bitch up – our name depends on it!”“You mean blow this bitch up? Eh? Eh?” Gunther jokes.“Hehehe, good one.” Wilvy laughs.“Thanks!”“Pay attention or we are going to lose!” Jamie slaps both on the head.“Hey, it says there that’s Johnny… He doesn’t look like him.” Gunther notices.“Yeah, there must be a mistake.” Jamie is confused.“What are you guys on about? That’s Johnny. He got ripped though, good for him.” Wilvy nods.“…Don’t give credit to the competition!” Jamie slaps Wilvy’s heads. “You think if any of the assholes win we will have a chance of appearing again? The answer is no! I know that fucker Henry has something to do with this too! It’s not possible everyone decided to forget about us.”“I don’t think they like him all that much since he’s riding alone.” Gunther points out.“…Who’s Henry?” Wilvy is confused.The crowd also ignored them.
>>3506365“Now the 15th team!” Welimor seems to enjoy her job. “From the netherworld, riding Wheelie Bike! Their squad consists of Vivienne Neuville , Foroutan – and their team leader Valdemar Bruun ! They are The Cult Bros.!“…Who picked that name?” Valdemar looks irritated, for his standards at least.Vivienne raises her hand in shame.“D’awwww, told ya, girl – you have a cute side.” The bald man Foroutan laughs.“S-Shut up.”“So why do you think the boss is riding with those guys?” Foroutan wonders.“Because we are awful…” Vivienne painfully admits.“…” Valdemar and Foroutan stare at the ground, speechless. They know it's true.There were 10 to 15 people in the crowd who were cheering loudly for Vivienne for unknown reasons. But aside from that, nothing.
>>3506366“Now the 16th team!” Welimor dances with the microphone. “From the police department, riding a police car! Their unit consists of Roger Jackson, Lenny Yabe – and their team leader Rob Banks! They are The Police Department and friends!“So could you give Lenny his job back?” Roger asks Rob on behalf of Yabe.“Even if I said yes, we won’t remember any of this shit, right? I’m sure I’ll encounter this lil’ bitch if I get my own thing.” Rob Banks smirks.“T-Thanks!” Lenny looks like a loser.“We cops look for each other. Now… I have no idea who most of these cocksuckers are, but we are going to win – understand?”“Yes!” Lenny seems to be very obedient.“I wonder if the kid is going to have something against me for this…” Roger feels bad for competing against Johnny.“Probably! But who gives a shit?! He won’t remember! We can’t lose to Masterson, you hear me, gang?!”The crowd booed Rob Banks pretty harshly, some people even turned their back to him.
>>3506371“It’s time for the 17th team!” Welimor doesn’t know what to do to keep things fresh. “From Pokyo Lokyo! Riding a shit car! Their teams is Kenneth Dudley, Sasha Langdon and their captain Sven ‘B-WORM’ Dolberg! They are the We actually were part of the Assembly but now know it was a bad idea! That’s a mouthful one!“I wonder if WILDFLAME is looking for a sidekick.” Sasha wonders.“…What?” Dudley is out of words.“Don’t what me? The guy is kinda cool!”“But why turn into his sidekick? That’s like going 8 steps ahead. Besides being a superhero is stupid. Real men fight each other face to face, no weird shit in the middle.”“Bitch, I would look great in spandex!” Sasha nods to herself.“Nobody said anything about that…” Dudley is weirded out.B-WORM silently wondered why he ended up in this team. At least he has a chance of having his own thread where he won’t meet with any of these two…But they don’t need to know that.The crowd cheered for B-WORM as he seems to be a little famous.
For a Carnival Phantasm-esque Grand Prix I am surprised I haven't seen a drag machine yet.
>>3506373“How many of these teams are?! It’s the 18th team or whatever!” Welimor is not enjoying it anymore. “From Heaven! Riding something! They are Brock Mckenzie, Barry the Hobo and their captain Linda Wise! They are the Creator’s followers! How boring!“How disrespectful, young lady! Give me ten laps!” Mckenzie scolds Welimor.“Shut up, old cripple.” Welimor responds.“Hohoho, don’t need to be mean to what’s left of this …man.” Linda looks with disgust at Mckenzie.“Nobody is talking to you, old hag!” Welimor shows her tongue.“W-What?! Me OLD?!” Linda is furious.“Calm down you two. Don’t let your ire get the better of you. We need to give our soul and body to our Lord.” Barry grabs both Mckenzie and Linda away from Welimor like they are nothing.“It’s rather sad not even in the afterlife you regained your memories, uh?” Linda comments about Barry.“…” Barry remains silent, he’s staring at Nariko.The crowd didn’t care for this team either.Continuing when I have the rest done…(Sorry, this is the last reply of the day. I got too sleepy. I’ll finish the introductions tomorrow and start the race!)
>>3506362>But after today, Howie will carry on my torchKaz is so fucking pathetic. He's relying on Howie. FUCKING HOWIE>>3506365>They're literally the 3 stoogesI don't know what else I expected>“What are you guys on about? That’s Johnny. He got ripped though, good for him.” Wilvy nods.>“…Who’s Henry?” Wilvy is confused.Man Wilvy is a total bro, why did he have to die?>>3506366>“…Who picked that name?” Valdemar looks irritated, for his standards at least.>Vivienne raises her hand in shame.>“D’awwww, told ya, girl – you have a cute side.” The bald man Foroutan laughs.>“S-Shut up.”Waifu status: Confirmed
“I’ve been told I needed to be more respectful with the teams that are left. So, now presenting the 19th team! The one-man wrecking crew! From STARDOM! Riding the Blue Falcon! Weighing 295 pounds! YOUR NEW TRUE HERO: WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILDFLAME!” “OH YEAH! I’m unjustifiably in a position I’d rather not be in. The odds are stacked against me today, but that ain’t gonna matter! These groups of three won’t compare to THE ONE-MAN WRECKING CREW! Make no mistake ladies and gentleman, WILDFLAME came to town to claim the biggest prize home! I have my eyes on the championship belt!” WILDFLAME furiously poses! Then he starts pointing at the camera with raw intensity. “To my opponents tonight, you don’t have anything to worry about, this is going to end so fast you’re not going to be able to talk about it. The finish line and the way to STARDOM are one and the same, meaning when I light the way to victory – all of you will only see my muscular back as I get the homecoming I EARNED!” He sounds pretty confident there! The crowd is firmly behind WILDFLAME!
>>3507774“Now presenting a peculiar alliance as the 20th team!” Welimor points to the next team. “They come from mutual interests and are riding a Crazy Taxi! The squad consisting of ‘The Secret Ace’ Gerard Luther, Joe Riddle and their leader Charlie Ironheart! Good luck, Charlie!” “Thanks, darling.” Charlie is in good humor.“…We haven’t officially teamed up, right? This must be pretty confusing to some people.” Joe scratches the back of his head.“Blah! People love spoilers nowadays!” Gerard scoffs at Joe. “Right, Bruthete?!” He yells to one section of the crowd, where his partner is eating popcorn. “I hope you lose.” He responds. Ouch.“Let’s try to give a good showing, men in our position can’t afford to look ridiculous.” Charlie doesn’t seem too confident in their chances.“…But losing early is more relaxing, right? We can enjoy the nice breeze instead.” Joe doesn’t want to participate at all, how lazy. The crowd was fairly enthusiastic about this team.
>>3507777“Another ‘out there’ battalion here!” Welimor seems fairly excited. “From Depressionville! They are riding a terrible looking motor scooter! The team consisting of Carmella Camerota, Sparkles of Luck headmaster T_T Neko! And their leader Nina Uccelli! They are the Team We are stuck Together…!“That name bothers me…” Nina is not exactly happy with the name.“That bothers you? What is really troublesome is that I should have been the leader! I wrote it in the team inscription! That’s the only reason I accepted being in this crap team.” Carmella is not one bit happy.“Y-You are kind of a prick, so I changed it…” T_T Neko confesses.“Hmph! Whatever! I’m not even going to try then!” Carmella is acting entitled. “I get why you two are friends. You love doing things behind people’s back! Too afraid to talk things over, uh? That’s basically admitting you made a mistake. Rash decision after rash decision is Nina’s motto anyway – so I should have seen it coming. She usually brings the worst qualities out of people.” Feels as though she’s self-projecting.“Now I understand what kind of a prick you are…” T_T Neko looks furious.“Are you going to keep that to yourself or are you going to say it to my face, uh?!” Carmella shouts back.“Enough, you two! Neko, I know you mean well, but now’s not the time.” Nina interrupts this little scuffle. “And Carmella, I thought you still have some dignity in you to try to make amends with me after everything you’ve done. At minimum behave and cooperate. It’s not too late now.”“You’re still a selfish hypocrite.” Carmella goes to ride Nina’s awful scooter.“I apologize for everything, Neko. There are no excuses, it’s all my fault.” Nina feels bad about it.“Don’t apologize! I k-know you turned down t-the other girls’ team to make sure I participated in the race. So I don’t care…” T_T Neko is really eager to participate. “I-I don’t know what’s that freaking prick’s problem. Y-You’re not selfish, quite the opposite.”
>>3507796“Oh please!” Carmella couldn’t stay quiet for much longer. Her indignation reached a new level. “How long have you known this woman? A month? A week? A day? I know her for most of my life and let me tell you how wrong you are! You know how artificial her help is? She just wants the moral ground over her peers. You heard her now, right? It didn’t take her 5 minutes to confront me about the only favor she has ever done to me. Not much of a favor, now is it? And by the way, the least you could do is to forget about that stupid debt.”“I just wanted you to behave and cooperate for the race.” Nina responds.“Behave? Like you’re the perfect example of that! Or did you forget about your drunken slips? My carpet sure does remember! What about those late night calls crying about how sad and lonely you were? How many times did I tell you just to go outside and stop being so fucking sad all the time?!”“I-I was trying, it wasn’t easy… And I bought you a new expensive carpet, the exact one you liked even if yours wasn’t a fraction of the price…”“See! Typical Nina, have to remind everyone she didn’t fuck up as badly! Newsflash, you did anyway! Do you even remember all the food you ate from me? You didn’t even give me a cent back!”“Y-You wanted me to taste your recipes… I made you food as well, we made lunch for each other all the time. I gave you back as much as I could, we were friends…”“But your food was shit! You still don’t get it, do you?! You’re just shit and the only thing you love doing is taking advantage of people. I bet your stupid new boyfriend is going to kick your fat ass out when he realizes the only good you are at is taking, and taking and TAKING! Just like you pretended to be nice to this girl and manipulate her to take my spot for your selfish reasons.”“…” Nina stares at the ground, her face only expressing depression. She’s not taking it well.“I’m pretty sure you’re being disingenuous…” Neko is not an idiot and doesn’t take Carmella’s comments to face value.The crowd largely booed them thanks to T_T Neko.(Probably going to be the only update today! Sorry!)
“The 22th team is a group of unorthodox vicious individuals!” Welimor is hyping them up. “They come from Pokyo Lokyo and are riding a mad vehicle! The group consisting of Trent Figg! Blake Wilkinson and their leader Ajna Ravlic! This team is known as Misery comes on BEAT!”“YES! YES! IT’S PARTY TIME! LET’S CRUSH THESE FUCKERS!” Trent is pretty hyped up. “If we are the last ones standing, we win this shit, right?!”“Y-Yes, that is true…” Welimor shyly responds to Trent’s inquiry.“I’M ALIVE AGAIN! HAHAHAHA!” Blake is going absolutely insane.“Try to look both ways this time, retard. Shit’s a race.” Trent makes fun of his tag team partner.“Shut up, you fucko! I didn’t come back to be yelled at by 2nd place!” Blake’s still in a good mood despite the annoyance.“You dumb as shit mouth breather, WE ARE A TEAM!”“OOOOOOOOOOOOoooooh! LIKE I GIVE A DAMN! Wait a fuck…” Blake remembers something. “That fucking four-eyed wimp! He’s here, right?! Where are you, FOUR-EYES!? I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!”“Just wait for the damn shit to start! He’s going down as well!” Trent laughs.Ajna is in the backseat, trembling in fear – hoping to never be noticed by her teammates. Why is she there…?The crowd is actively booing them with vitriol.
>>3509951“Now presenting the 23rd team, Fr—!”“Johnny! I think it’s finally time you tell me who our partner is!” Amelia demanded without noticing she's yelling over Welimor, who decides to stop talking altogether. Your little sister is fuming as she feels patronized! “And where is our car…?! A-Are we really going to be in the race without a car?”“I told you it’s a surprise, Ames. Besides, aren’t you happy we are a team? I bet you didn’t think I was going to pick you.” You respond without putting too much emotion in your voice.“Y-Yeah, I thought you were going to leave me alone…again. I’m sorry for doubting you.” Amelia admits her fault, despite her nervousness getting the best of her. “B-But there is a limit to how much I can wait!”Out of nowhere, a dusking dismal vehicle parks in front of you and Amelia. It is as saddening to look at as that mournful day. The hearse looks to have deteriorated as if it went to the grave as well. As the smoke of its sudden stop starts dispelling, you start feeling nervous about what’s to come.“Johnny… W-What’s going on?” Amelia is bewildered, her eyes can’t believe what’s happening. She starts slowly walking towards the vehicle.The driver’s door slowly opens and from it a woman with glasses in her late 30s emerges, looking as unremarkable as ever. You feel incredibly stupid to even feel a little bit nervous to see your Mom again. She waves at the two you, smiling from ear to ear.
>>3509960“Mom…? Mom! Mom!” Amelia starts running to your mother, tears falling off her face – turning back to the small cute blob you’ve always remembered your sister to be, all her angst and pain gone as your mother embraces her in her arms.“There, there… You don’t know how much I missed you and your brother.” Mom is happy to hug her child once again. “Amelia, my sweet Amelia.”Amelia can’t articulate a response as she continues crying. She’s just plain happy.“Johnny, dear – don’t just stand there. Come here, say hello to your mother.” Your mom wants to hug you as well.“I-It’s fine, I think Amelia needs it more than I do…”“No hug is complete without you. We’re a family, silly!”“Agagaaghu…” Amelia tries to say… something, but it comes as complete gibberish – she wants you to be part of the hug as well.…You stop trying to be the cool guy and move to hug your family. It’s like she never left. All the problems you have, all the weight on your shoulders – it’s all gone. You feel an immense amount of happiness despite the tears raining down your face. After all these years you feel at home again!You wonder why can’t this be real.From the corner of your eye, you are able to see that bastard Joel trying to get closer to the family, but your dad is choking him from behind and starts dragging him away from you all. Guess even your dad has a good side, uh?
>>3509963Eventually, your mom puts an end to this miraculous hug. “Look at you two, you both grew so much! You both look so cute and handsome now! Maybe I was holding you two back…” Mom jokes. “But enough sentimentality! We have a race to win, family!”“B-But who cares about this stupid race, mom!” Amelia complains, she wants happy family time. You agree.“Amelia, when we win we will get even more time to spend with each other!”“You seem pretty confident, mom.” You smirk.“Johnny, do you remember what I always say?”“To do your best, because even if you don’t accomplish anything – your family and friends will appreciate it…?” Amelia says it instead of you.“Yes, that’s one of the things I said. But what’s the other one…?” Now Mom is staring at you, expecting a response.“Those who hurt my family will pay me back with their blood…” You recite from memory. Honestly, she used it once when she heard Amelia was getting bullied at school. It was so metal you didn’t forget, but still… “W-When did you say such a t-thing?” Amelia is appalled.“Don’t worry about the details, sweetie.” Mom puts her hand on Amelia’s shoulder. “What’s important is that I’m not going to let his family be torn apart again. Now, let’s do our best!”The crowd ignored you all for the most part. You don’t care.
>>3509965“Now presenting the last team in the competition!” Welimor air guitars for a second before signaling to the final team. “They come from Pokyo Lokyo as well, they are riding a Motorbike! The team consisting of Jeff ‘Double J’ Jefferson, Mickey Wright and their leader Richard Wright! They are the Do Better Team!”“Unlike some attention seeking family, we left our reunion private.” Richard is already throwing shade at you. His brother Mickey is back as well, he’s a small nerdy looking kid.“You couldn’t stop crying though, big badass.” Double J comments.“K-Keep that information private, please.” Richard seems fairly embarrassed.“I didn’t think you missed me this much. You were always so busy I thought…” Mickey is conflicted but glad his brother cares about him so much.“You thought wrong, Mickey. Even if we won’t remember any of these events in the future, I’m glad to we’re together again.”“Mhm!” Mickey looks fairly energetic. “T-There are a lot of people in here. Uh?! I know some of them! Like that fat dude over there – we used to play cards together!” Mickey points at Bradford. “A-And that lanky dude over there, we played fighting games at the arcade!” He points at Wilvy now. “And that guy used to cosplay at the arcade!” He points now at B-WORM. “Agh, w-what is Twister doing here…?” He seems to loathe 7w157. “And… Uh…”“What’s wrong?” Double J notices something wrong with Mickey.“Bro! That’s Miss Sussy! Remember the nice lady I talked with you about? She’s the one who taught me how to play Sparkles of Luck and gave me a bunch of cards! She’s here! I can’t believe it!” Mickey pulls Richard’s vest and points at T_T Neko.“Nice lady…?” Richard notices his brother is pointing at the disgusting NEET. “Heh. You must be mistaken, that scum is anything but pleasant.” Richard scoffs at his brother.“I-If you say so… But I’m pretty sure she’s the one…” Mickey is conflicted.A good portion of the crowd cheered for them for some reason.“…That’s everyone! Back to you guys!” Welimor ends this part of the broadcast.We’re back with our announce table! Bastet and Philonune are ready to engage with the crowd at home.“Well, well, well! We’re finally done with the introductions! People couldn’t shut up for some reason, but it adds to the drama – so it’s fine I guess!” Bastet is worried about how much of the running time has been wasted. “Any comments about what you have seen so far, Philonune?”“Bold strategy not to use a wheelchair for everyone involved.”“I’m sure we will see a stretcher or two during the r—” Bastet stops talking for a second. “BREAKING NEWS! The station has informed me there are NEW CHALLENGERS APPROACHING! We go back with Welimor for more information!”The crowd groans in response.
>>3509970“Yes, Bastet! I can not believe this! The introductions took so long, a bunch of individuals decided to crash the race and join!” Welimor is fairly surprised. “Introducing the 25th team! From the Distant Frontier! Riding a… Lion thing. The team consisting of our ex-president Lazarus Don Gordon Sr., the enigmatic Esperanza and their leader Giorsal Kane! They are the Team We can Actually Play Now! ” Welimor didn’t commit Saraswati’s mistake with this Gordon…“Hello everyone! As the leader of the Judges, I maintain an impartial role for all you players! But as a competitor…” Giorsal’s smile does a 180° after finishing her line. “…I seek no validation from the likes of you today. This is vendetta for berating us for our efforts to try to maintain a rule set amidst the madness this war broke upon us! You think it’s easy?! You think we don’t notice the errors we make?! You think complaining all the time helps?! You shall see even a person like me has her limits.” Giorsal is ready to fight.“…” Esperanza is staring at everyone around her in silence. “So these are the people we’re helping… Awful.”“Hehh… Heh… Hhh… Predator... prey... hhh... I hunt them all...” The machiavellian voice of the Ex-President gives chills to everyone in the crowd. “It… will be over… quick.”The people are scared of the ex-President, aside from that – the crowd didn’t care about them all that much.
>>3509975“…But that’s not the only surprise! Introducing the 2nd special entry!” Welimor surprises everyone with this announcement. “From a shit town named Laoling! This gang of losers are The Gossipy Slut Margaret Duchemin! The fatfuck big coward Masen Reid! And their sad excuse of a leader, the friendless parentless Alfred Brown! These parasites are Team SPR! Who knows what that means! Go back to your own quest!” Welimor, for good reason, is being ruthless.“Holy shit, what the fuck is like their problem!? Why do they hate us so much, Allie?!” Maggie is really angry at the relentless crowd and management.“We’re outsiders, Maggie. Of course, they hate us.” Alfred doesn’t seem to care.“G-Guys, thank you for letting me redeem myself for abandoning you! I won’t let you down again!” Reid wants to prove his worth.“You don’t owe us anything.” Alfred doesn’t seem to care one way or another.“H-Hey Allie, where is our rental car? You know, the one Catastrovania Strifaust Morituros IX gave us…?” Maggie seems nervous.“We’re not using that crap.”“Uh?! Then how are we s-supposed to participate?”“With this.” Alfred claps and the ground below them split apart, from this new hole a nice looking car appears. “I present to you the Transam 20000.”“Where did you get that?!” Reid is dumbfounded as he exclaims in awe. Maggie is incredibly excited as she gets inside the car!“…You may find out in our next thread after we win this competition.” The impasse Alfred breaks the fourth wall while looking at the camera.The crowd was nasty with them, almost as bad as they were booing Rob Banks and Mr. Conti.
>>3509978“And the true final participant of the race. He’s from the depths of hell. He’s the serial killer known as the Behemoth!” Welimor keeps it short then she moves away. The man with the mask appears carrying some sort of Big Pillar! What does he intend to do with it?! “…” His intense glance says it all. Not really, but who is going to try to ask him anything otherwise?! The crowd remained completely silent. Continuing when I have the rest done…
>>3509963God damnit, I finally got off a retarded ban so I can say it now.>Guess even your dad has a good side, uh?ITS HUH! NOT UH, UH IS NOT A PROPER SET ENDING FOR A QUESTION!
>>3509963>“Johnny, dear – don’t just stand there. Come here, say hello to your mother.” Your mom wants to hug you as well.>“I-It’s fine, I think Amelia needs it more than I do…”>“No hug is complete without you. We’re a family, silly!”>“Agagaaghu…” Amelia tries to say… something, but it comes as complete gibberish – she wants you to be part of the hug as well.What a cute family>>3509970>“Bro! That’s Miss Sussy! Remember the nice lady I talked with you about? She’s the one who taught me how to play Sparkles of Luck and gave me a bunch of cards! She’s here! I can’t believe it!” Mickey pulls Richard’s vest and points at T_T Neko.Damn. How ironic>>3509975>“…I seek no validation from the likes of you today. This is vendetta for berating us for our efforts to try to maintain a rule set amidst the madness this war broke upon us! You think it’s easy?! You think we don’t notice the errors we make?! You think complaining all the time helps?! You shall see even a person like me has her limits.” Giorsal is ready to fight.They deserve all the shit that they get>>3509978>“From a shit town named Laoling! This gang of losers are The Gossipy Slut Margaret Duchemin! The fatfuck big coward Masen Reid! And their sad excuse of a leader, the friendless parentless Alfred Brown! These parasites are Team SPR! Who knows what that means! Go back to your own quest!”Couldn't have said it better myself
“With the 27 teams ready for the competition! We’re truly ready now to start this fucking thing. FINALLY!” Even Bastet is tired of this shit at this point. “Any predictions?”“Clearly my partner has this on the bag.” Philonune believes in you.“How bold! I’m betting on the Good Guys.”“…What about your own partner?”“Pffft… Yeah, sure. She can’t make microwave popcorn right but she’s totally winning this crap. Get a grip!” Bastet doesn’t sound very supporting for a fellow reject.“We shall see. If there is something I learned in my days in this universe, is that everyone has a chance to make a surprise.”“Anyway! These are the betting odds!”<- The odds are shown on the screen!“Finally, we’re getting those engine ready, the race is going to start!” Bastet is getting excited.The 27 competitors seem ready to finally start this thing once and for all. You’re not nervous since there is practically nothing to lose!it’s time to begin the race once and for all!What do you plan to do?!>Try to get an early lead! You need to win, remember?!>Be in the middle of the pack, don’t show all your cards just yet!>Try to crash someone out of the race. (Specify who)>Write In.
>>3510101>Try to crash someone out of the race. (Specify who)>Howie's teamJust lowering Howie's chances of getting a sidequest.
>>3510101>>Be in the middle of the pack, don’t show all your cards just yet!Let everyone else kill each other. For now we'll just have a nice family ride
>>3510101>>Be in the middle of the pack, don’t show all your cards just yet!
>>3510112>>3510143Being in the middle of the pack won! Please roll 1d100! Best of 4!
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>3510146
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>3510146
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>3510146
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>3510146LETS GO
>>3510147Well this is nice.
In front of everyone, Giorsal’s bee-like entity, Ethempress, appears with the checkered flag in her hands. She takes a good look at everyone competing and says the following: “It seems everyone forgot the most important part of this race! The swimsuits! I’ll have to rectify that this instant!” She starts flying over every car and drops some magical dust on everyone, making their clothes shine and transform into swimsuits! Both Amelia and your Mom are now wearing bikinis, you have some shorts. If only you picked other people in your team, this could have been something less embarrassing. “Uuuuhh…” Amelia feels fairly uncomfortable with the change. You miss your shoes, how are you supposed to drive like this?“Oh my, I wasn’t expecting this kind of thing… It’s quite comfortable.” Your mom is fairly embarrassed, she’s sitting next to you, in the co-pilot sit. She then turns to Amelia who is on the back of the hearse. “Oh…”“W-What do you mean ‘oh’…?” Amelia is concerned.“This could be troublesome. You didn’t grow there as much as I was expecting.”“MOM! DON’T SAY THAT!” Amelia is furious as she hides deeper in the back of the car. “I’m concerned, dear! Have you been eating properly? You’re 16! This lack of growth cannot be normal!”“Ha, I missed someone else teasing Amelia.” You smile.“Johnny, what’s up with the scars on your chest?” Mom is checking on you now.“T-The race is about to start, let’s p-pay attention to that instead…” “Sure, let’s start slow so we can have a nice family ride, okay?”“Yes, mom. I wouldn’t have any other way.” You are ready to ride! After Ethempress counts to three, she waves the flag and officially starts the race! You’re surprised even the shittiest looking cars are deceptively fast! This could prove troublesome. You try to stay out of trouble and take the longest turn for maximum safety.
>>3510355“So tell me, Philonune – in this first section of the race, what should be expecting?” Bastet asks his color commentator.“Like we said before, this track is divided into 8 stages, and the first one is the calm beach! Getting off track will make you drive on the tricky sand, and getting stuck is the last thing you want to do in a race like this. And at the very end of it, the course starts getting narrower. So that’s when the brutality starts!”“I see, so plain sailing until the end of it. How awful for them, but great for us! Nobody is trying to be cheeky just yet. The Good Guys are battling first place with The Hobos and their caretaker! That’s a surprise.” “Not if you knew about the competitors very well, that Matilda Spice is quite extraordinaire if I say so myself!” Philonune does his best fake radio voice. “Hey, can I talk normally? I feel quite ridiculous now…”“Yeah, fuck it. We don’t have to be professional about this shit.” Bastet throws his notes away.You on the other hand successfully placed yourself in the middle of the pack rank-wise, but you are far away from the groups just to stay safe. The competition is just starting! It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100! The biggest amount of all the answers aids his first option! The lowest amount of all the answers sabotages his second option! This could change the ranks dramatically!
>>3510356Aid the hobosSabotage the good guys
>>3510361don't forget to roll!
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3510356>Aid: The Calamity Clinic Collision>Sabotage: The Good Guys
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>3510362oh right>>3510361rolling to encourage hobos/call the good guys gay
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>3510356>Aid HobosThey'll need it>Fuck over Henry Not having a Henry chapter
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3510356Help>The Hobos and their caretakerSabatoge>Team this is how we do it
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>3510369>>3510372Nice>>3510356
>>3510376You need to pick who to help and who to destroy too! Since you're the lowest roll (16 so far), you pick who gets fucked.
>>3510379Neat.>>3510356Sabotage The Good GuysAid Hobos
Inside the Auto-Rickshaw. Nariko is the one driving, Yu Yan is hanging out next to Nariko, almost out of the vehicle – Matilda is in the backseat. Nariko is way too focused on the road to notice what her partners are doing.“C’mon, Matilda, you need to help me!” Yu Yan yells at Matilda. “The only way to make Nariko perform even better is if you help me out!”“…I refuse. I would prefer being one driving instead.”“We’re neck and neck with the Good Guys! C’mon! What’s the problem?”“I-It’s disgusting frankly. You’re just feeding her and patting her head! Is she some kind of dog?”“Just look at her, she’s more like a cow… Point is, just tell her she’s a good girl, she works well with extremes! If she’s a good girl, you compliment her. If she fucks up, you can punish her as much as you like! She’s into that kind of stuff...”“What stuff…?”“Doesn’t matter. Here 5 bucks! Now help!”“Affirmative.” Matilda starts patting Nariko’s head. “Good girl… Good girl…”“Yes! YES! I’m finally being useful! I’m trying just like you said, Johnny! I’M DOING MY BEST!”Somehow, the hobo’s car manages to get some nitro boost bullshit and moves even faster just by making Matilda say nice things about Nariko… They are way ahead in first place.Meanwhile, inside the tank...“So what does this button do?” Ammirati curiously looks at the red button inside the tank.“I have no idea…” Lloydington is too busy driving. “Do not push the button.”“You can’t say something like that and expect me not to push the button~.”“Silence. I don’t want to listen to your drivel any longer! Leave the button alone!” Lloydington shouts at his teammate.“Don’t be like that. I just want to see what happens if I press it, can't be the end of the world. Sadly...” Ammirati couldn’t care less as he’s trying to stir shit up.“I would advise you two to keep looking ahead, because as of now – we’re ramming our tank into a damn rock.” Gordon Jr. can’t hold it anymore and yells at both of them.They are dead last now…
>>3510470You are still in the middle of the pack, the path ahead is starting to get narrower and in its edges – a bunch of dangerous looking rocks are going to be a problem.What do you do?>Try to get ahead now! If you’re up there, nobody will be able to collide with you!>Try to take things slower, let the main bulk of vehicles ahead. Secure a safe path instead of trying to get ahead and get into trouble.>Keep your pace, you will stay in the middle of the bulk, but you will be prepared if anyone tries to do something funny.>Write In.
>>3510472>Try to get ahead now! If you’re up there, nobody will be able to collide with you!Try to catch up to your headpat powered hobo.
>>3510481>>3510472Do this and head pat our hobo and introduce them to our mom
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3510481wait shit, forgot my roll again
>>3510472>>Try to get ahead now! If you’re up there, nobody will be able to collide with you!>>3510484>and introduce them to our mom"Hey Mom, these are my hobos. I raised them with care"
>>3510481>>3510495>>3510500Please roll now! In the next prompt I'll need you to roll immediately!
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>3510509
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3510509
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>3510509
>>3510509(still a best of 4)
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>3510509
>>3510523the souls of the dead power this cow
>>3510526car*my mind is still on mooriko
>>3510526>>3510528I'd say both apply in this situation
>>3510523Deja vu I've been in this place before
>>3510557Higher on the street and I know it's my time to go
>>3510472>The Winners’ team captain will have a thread of his/her own! (Same as Flint in Do Your Best Quest: Grilled Justice!)Erm, quick question. If Team SPR were to win does that mean there will be a crossoverish story or that the next chapter in their quest will begin sooner?
>>3510586Next chapter will begin sooner.
>>3510586I think we'll just get SPR instead of DYB next week
>>3510587>>3510588Fuck me I guess
>>3510590kek, thanks anyway.>>3510587>Next chapter will begin sooner.Aye aye cap'n. That's a good enough reward for me, even if we have to sacrifice a character chapter!
“I think we need to go faster or else we will be trapped.” You tell your Mom and Amelia.“Aww, we were having such a good time…” Amelia is disappointed. You were chatting about all the stuff you did while mom was gone.“Amelia, do you know how we can make this situation even better?” Mom stares at Amelia with her signature tender smile. “By winning! Go ahead, Johnny!”“Sure thing.” You put the foot down and accelerate as much as you can.You went so fast, so quickly, you accidentally bumped with Henry’s friends and The Creators Followers, making them lose a lot of their lead. Whoops. After that, you managed to evade the other cars and get behind The Hobos and their caretaker! As the path starts getting narrower, you put your vehicle next to theirs. You pull down your window and say hi.“D-dear J-Johnny?!” Mooriko is surprised and embarrassed to be wearing whatever that swimsuit is suppose to be.“Woah, casually flexing your muscles in there I see, stud.” Yu Yan comments. She doesn’t look the slightest bit embarrassed, Matilda on other hand is just a bit embarrassed – but not even close to the same level of Nariko’s.“We still haven’t arrived to that point of the story yet, but Mom I want to introduce you to my hobos.” You point to the girls in the other car.“Yeah, mom! They are all super cool! I love them!” Amelia is happy to have friends.“Oh my! Nice to meet you sweeties!” Mom waves at them. “…But why do you call them hobos?”“Ho-holy shit! W-Why didn’t you tell me your mom was in there!” Yu Yan is extremely embarrassed and hides in the backseat. “I s-swear, I’m not that type of girl! I-It’s just…!”“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart! Complimenting each other is always a good sign of a healthy relationship! C’mon Johnny, say something back to your nice little hobo lady.”“Yu Yan, you are still the cutest and that bikini looks great on you!” You happily shout from your seat.“T-Thanks! J-Just don’t say anything else!” Yu Yan is still hidden though.“Uh… I rarely see her get embarrassed.” Amelia looks surprised.“See? I raised them with care.” You nod to yourself.“I can tell! They look so healthy and happy to see you! This one especially! What a physique!” She points to Matilda.“I’m not a hobo.” Matilda dryly replies. “But thank you, there are few people who appreciate it.” Matilda is one proud lady.“Oh my mistake. You were so radiantly beaming with such happiness when you saw my son, I thought you were part of their group.”“E-Excuse me? What does that mean?” Matilda doesn’t look one bit happy.“No, mom. She’s my Kung-Fu Master, Matilda, she’s always happy to see me healthy so I can help her with her revenge – you’ll understand when we get to that part of the story.” You clarify.“Exactly.” Matilda nods.“If you say so, Johnny.” Mom doesn’t buy it.
>>3510617“The one hiding is Yu Yan, and the one driving is Nariko.”“It’s an honor to meet you, Mrs. Ando.” Nariko bows, even though she should be paying attention to the road.“Oh the honor is all mine! But you look rather sad compared to the others, did something happen?” Mom is worried. She can tell when someone is troubled.“No need to worry, I’m just doing my best like your beautiful children always tell me to do.” Your humble OG hobo replies.“My, my, but a tenacious girl like you seems to lack some recognition! Sweetie, get the hearse closer to them.” Mom asks and you oblige. Mom stretches over you to start headpatting Nariko. “You’re such a good girl…” Nariko has a silly smile on her tomato colored face.“Amelia, take the wheel, I want to headpat her as well.”“O.K.!” Amelia manages to grab the thing before the vehicle gets out of control.Thanks to the over stimulation on your OG Hobo’s delicate head, she starts getting out of control and somehow makes her Rickshaw go extremely fast and away from you. They are ahead in 1st place with a hefty lead now. Whoops…“That could have been dangerous!” Mom just noticed it. “Let’s try to keep our arms and heads inside the vehicle at all times from now on, alright?”“Right!” You and Amelia say in unison, despite your sister not breaking any rules.It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100! Same as before!(Last reply of the day, we continue tomorrow!)
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3510618>Aid ConstanceShe's a good girl. We can also introduce her to our Mom if she gets close enough>Sabotage HowieThat fucker is getting a bit to comfortable
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>3510618Aid>SPRSabotage>Fuck Howie
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>3510618Help>the Calamity Clinic CollisionSabatoge>SPR>>3510639Because fuck you, that's why.
>>3510681How about you take that 5 and shove it where the sun don't shine you greasy wanker.
>>3510690How about you kiss my saggy scrotum sack and piss off instead, mate.
>>3510692I don't see why I should listen to a bawjaw. Get those balls out of your mouth then start talking.
>>3510699This wee lad wants to go around like a grown man. Go suckle on your mamma's milk from her teet, you flea-bitten twat.
>>3510705This little shit dances around mushrooms and talks about piskies an chime hours. Piss off back to Waterford before I use you to wipe me ass crack.
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>3510618>AidCharlie's team>SabotageHowie's team
>>3510738As if you even know how to, you howlin sheep shagger, I can smell your crusty erse crevice from here.
>>3510470God damn Yu, don't tell people that shit in public!
>>3510618Huh, never thought I'd see the day headpats function as nitro.
>>3510789>>3510738>>3510705>>3510699>>3510692>>3510690How about you brits just shut up, sit at the bar, and start drinking till you can't see.
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3510625SupportConstance is cool
>>3510639>>3510681What happens when we both choose to aid and sabotage the same team?
>>3511020They cancel each other!
>>3511034So nothing happens?
>>3511035Yeah... They'll get a drawing at least.Reminder to those who haven't rolled you still can!
>>3511050Oh great, Masen in a swimsuit. I've always wanted to see that...
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>3510618Help team hoboLiterally kill howie
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>3510618>AidCalamity Clinic Collision>SabotageThis is how we do it!
>>3511420Good one anon
Meanwhile inside the Ambulance, Dr. Calamity is the one driving because Constance can’t for obvious reasons. They are in the middle of the pack because the Doctor doesn’t want to hurt anyone.“Uncle, I think it’s about time you let me drive.” Nurse Calamity is tired of waiting in the co-pilot seat.“Dear niece, you and I know pretty well how… passionate you get behind the wheel. For everyone else’s safety, I don’t think it would be very responsible of me if I let you take the wheel.” Dr. Calamity is having none of it.“…Dearest uncle, are you prepared to tell this cute little pumpkin we’re not trying our darnest to make her dream come true?” Kata is manipulating her uncle. Dr. Calamity takes a good look at the dreary looking mummy and makes a decision.“I guess I wouldn’t have picked this profession if I wanted to stay out of trouble, have fun Kata!” Dr. Calamity relents and lets her niece have some fun.“I like to think accidents are bound to happen! HheHEHhehEhe…!” Katastrophic Calamity just laughed like her uncle. Eerie.The Ambulance is going crazy fast all of sudden and starts to go up the ranks! For some reason, she’s hitting the other cars for seemingly random reasons, including yours – leave you a couple of positions behind! You heard Constance apologizing for the Nurse’s actions.
>>3512120Meanwhile inside the Transam 20000. Alfred is driving as fast as he can, Maggie is in the copilot seat and Reid is on the back.“A-Allie, we’re dead last! W-What are we going to do? Tell me your brilliant mind has like a really good plan or something!” Maggie is panicking.“…We continue as we are doing.” Alfred still believes in his plan. Whatever that may be.“Al, I don’t want to sound rude. But if we keep going this way, we’re going to lose.” Reid has to interject. “Let me take the wheel instead.”“…” Alfred is hesitating.“We’re behind a duck, a horse and some random nobody on a pogo stick, we like can’t possibly be doing worse than that!” Maggie puts the obviously awful truth in display.“Alright.” Alfred admits his fault and makes a sudden stop.“Al, what are you doing?! We’re in the middle of a race! We can’t just stop like that!” Reid is losing it.“…My bad.” Poor guy thought it would be safer to switch sides if he parked the car first.Today, Alfred Brown learned Lv. 1 Driving is not enough to win a race…You, on the other hand, are 4th now and this is the last stretch of the beach portion of the race. You have a feeling some racers are going to say goodbye soon…What do you do?>Take your lead back, gosh darn it!>Try to crash one of the cars close to you! (Specify who)>Keep your pace, you’re basically leading anyway – so no need to rush anymore.>Write In.
>>3512125>Distract Howie by telling him that he will always be a spineless wuss who deserved to be crammed inside a locker by Blake.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3512125>>Try to crash one of the cars close to you! (HOWIEEEEEEEE!)
>>3512125>>Try to crash one of the cars close to you! (Specify who)KILL HOWIE!
>>3512152>>3512155>>3512156Please roll! Best of 4!
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3512170eat shit, Howie
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3512170
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3512170
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3512175Now that Howie is out of the picture I personally look forward to introducing Mom to Constance, I'm sure she'd love that adorable little Mummy
We’re back at the announcer table with Bastet and Philonune!“So the teams are getting closer to the end of the first area! They just need to past that giant gate and they will arrive at a safe zone before the next one, right?” Bastet comments.“Yes. And those gates are slowly closing, so they need to move fast or else they will be disqualified.” Philonune clarifies.“So what’s next for our contestants?”“The Jungle zone.”“That’s awfully similar to the Beach one…”“Yes. There is an obvious lack of creativity and budgeting from our staff.”“…So what’s really different about it?”“The narrow paths are no more! In fact, you could say they are wider than ever! And the wildlife could be difficult for some to manage.”“…Sounds boring. Who planned this crap again? The Judges?!” Bastet jokes.Both Philonune and Bastet laugh at the snarky joke and that’s the end for this segment.Back to the race.Howie is awfully close to you in the standings, you perhaps should take him out of the equation before he turns into a thorn in your side – much like in real life.“Do you think it would be a bad idea if I crashed into someone? The road is getting narrower and I think it would be great to take someone I hate out.” You ask your family.“You mean that dumb ass that’s flipping us off right now.” Amelia points forward and you can see Twist aggressively making fun of you with half his body out of the window. They are 3rd just because of a miscalculation.“Try to hit them on the right edge of the back of the car, maybe we can turn them over!” Mom is pretty sadistic when she wants to.“I’m going for it then!” You start accelerating!Howie, who is the one driving, is moving his stupid looking van in front of you each time you’re trying to past them.“Fuck you, Johnny! I don’t even know how to drive and I’m better than you! Imagine if you fought fair when we first met! You would be DONE!” Howie is mocking you.As soon as they shield you from going past them a third time, you do as mom says and gently collide with the right corner of their car and turn them sideways, then you go even faster making them start spiraling out of control! “NOOOOOOooooooooo!” Howie shrieks as you see 7W157 falling down from their car, sadly Kaz was fast enough to grab him to safety… “FUCK YOUUUUUUUU…!”“That kid has issues.” Mom doesn’t even know Howie and dislikes him already.“Mom, he’s the worst! He makes half of the sleazebags around here look decent.” Amelia is fuming just thinking about all the stupid things Howie has done to you all.“I hope we won’t have to see him again.” Mom isn’t even interested in talking about him. He’s that annoying.
>>3512340This leaves you at 5th place as a group of cars managed to get past you, good thing this area of the track is almost over. You cross the giant gate and for some reason feel safer… “But some teams didn’t make it! Let’s show them complaining about a fair result!” Welimor and hidden cameramen go to spy on the losers.“Ngggh! How is that even possible?! We were consistently good! What went wrong, tell me?!” Linda is absolutely furious. Her team just lost the race. They got last place.“Well, you decided to make a cripple drive, pal...” Mckenzie ended up driving the last portion of the area.“It was between you and the mentally deficient man! What other choice did I have?!”“…Drive yourself?” Barry breaks character.“The top of this 3rd rate swimwear kept coming off! I couldn’t do anything! This isn’t fair!” Linda keeps complaining.“You should have left those knockers be free if you wanted to win. Nobody was interested in watching them sag around anyway.” Mckenzie replies.“S-Shut up, you perverted old man! How vulgar and trashy…! This is so unfair! AAAAAGH!”The creator’s followers are no more.“Sorry, Al, Maggie. I couldn’t do anything…” Masen feels terrible about their loss.“It’s like fine…” Maggie is disappointed. “I-It’s fine, right…?” She turns to Alfred now wondering if what she said was correct.“…Not it isn’t. But we will survive.” Alfred is irked. Losing so early must sting.“W-We could enjoy the beach together in the meantime! I wonder where Catastrovania is?” Maggie looks around.Team SPR is slightly pissed off…“Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! FUUUCK! FUUUUCK!” Jamie is kicking the sand and having a good old tantrum.“It was fun.” Wilvy looks at the positives.“…I mean we had a duck for a car, what else could you expect from us?” Gunther makes a valid point.The Explosive Menace blew away their chances...
>>3512342It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>3512345>Aid Ajna's Team>Sabotage Howie's team
>>3512345Aid our team so we can introduce mom to ream clinic.Fuck howie fuck him up, flip his car over and end his life.
>>3512358You can't aid Johnny's team. That's why we have it divided into 2 sections. Also, you need to roll!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3512345>Aid AjnaShe's been at the bottom for a while now>Sabotage B-WORMI don't want any of the assembly members near Constance and that is final
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3512345>Aid AjnaI'm all for this Ajna bandwagon>Sabotage GiorsalCause seriously, FUCK the judges
Meanwhile inside the Mad Vehicle. Trent is the one driving, Blake is shouting profanities from the co-pilot seat to the other vehicles. Ajna is still hiding in the backseat, afraid of even coming out now more than ever thanks to her bikini. “OH SHIT, what happened to those 3 fuckos that were behind us!?” Blake is angrier than ever. “I still have more shit to throw at ‘em!“They fucking lost, you dipshit! I told ya if we spent too much time in the back we’re going to get fucked.” Trent, the more intelligent of the two, shouts back.“Then what the fuck are you waiting for? Get us to FIRST!”“I’ve been waiting for THIS SHIT!” Trent stomps the gas pedal and go faster than ever before! They are flying through the competition! “Hey asshole, aren’t these groups of 3?! Where is your sack of shit partner?” Blake just realized this after noticing everyone is competing in trios, sans some exceptions.“Now you noticed!? No wonder you fucking died braindead.” “Oh found him, err… her! Hey! HEY!”“Ngh…” Ajna is trembling in fear.“Say something you BITCH!”“H..h..h…h..h…help…” Ajna whispers. “Fuck her, she’s shy. Are bitches like her your type? Or should we throw her out?!” Blake asks Trent.“Hold the wheel for a second.” Trent moves to the back seat where Ajna is laying. Blake miraculously takes control and manage to salvage the situation. “What do we have here?!” “Don’t drop the wheel like that, you FUCKER!” Blake is mad. It’s kind of indistinguishable from his normal mood. “Guess I’m going to DESTROY some RETARDS now!” “You better say something.” Trent stares at Ajna.“…” Ajna froze 5 minutes ago. Trent pulls her out in the air and starts analyzing her body, then he puts Ajna on his lap.“You’re mine from now on.” Trent’s creepy smile is not something anyone should see. “DRIVE FASTER, BLAKE!” They will be trouble from now on.
>>3512545Meanwhile at the shitty car. B-Worm wondered where did it all go wrong again. He managed to earn a hefty lead thanks to his driving skills and was seeking 1st place. But sometimes there are people who want to prove their worth when questioned, as if it’s necessary to overthrow the good work laid out to show you and your peers a crude imitation of what you had done before. But what hurt him the most wasn’t the fact Sasha wanted to prove she can drive, but he wasn’t the one who called Sasha useless, so why did he need to pay for this…? Now they have dropped several places in the race and B-WORM only feels like crying now. You are clinging onto 4th place. You’re beginning the jungle level and it appears to be nothing out of the ordinary, except there is no pavement – just the soil for you to drive on. What do you do? >Take first place! Time to show your superiority!>You feel like there is a trick to this place. So you should proceed with caution.>Try to crash one of the cars close to you! (Specify who)>Write In.
>>3512547>You feel like there is a trick to this place. So you should proceed with caution.let's try to stay in a relative good position
>>3512547>Slow down a bit so you could meet up with team Nina.
>>3512548>>3512558my vote can go towards that
>>3512548>>3512558I can support these, let the people in first test out the gimmicks. Also Nina and Mom
>>3512558>>3512566>>3512579Please roll 1d100! Best of 4!
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>3512582
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3512582Make sure to give a cheeky wave at Vladimir while slowing down
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>3512582
>>3512586ValdemarI'm terrible at remembering
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3512545>Trent pulls her out in the air and starts analyzing her body, then he puts Ajna on his lap.>“You’re mine from now on.” Trent’s creepy smile is not something anyone should see. “DRIVE FASTER, BLAKE!”Wow, I don't hate Trent now
>>3512606Wow, I hate Trent now*
>>3512606>>3512609It is really fucked up
>>3512639>>3512606It's called being a hot-blooded man, anons.
>>3512547Could we get Neko in the swimsuit though?
>>3512664There's being a hootblooded man and then there's making a very shy girl who's in an almost catatonic state sit on your lap with a creepy smile
>>3512677It's all good, baby. She didn't say no.
>>3512677I'm sure he dosnt mean anything terrible by it. I hope. I like trent, I love trent I hope hes not that baad
>>3512677Agreed. This is a whole different tier from him talking about Scarlet's ass
>>3512690I'm sure Trent's saying the same thing right now>>3512707>I'm sure he dosnt mean anything terrible by itAnon, I get you like Trent but what other way could you interpret him picking her up, placing her on his lap, and saying “You’re mine from now on.”
>>3512547“…Well, that explains the weird creatures around.” Mom is understanding the one big problem you are into.“Mine is a cute little bear on a cloud! Saraswati is kind of moody, but she’s otherwise great! Except for the time she backstabbed me…” Amelia recounts. “But I deeply regret everything I did and said back then! So she was right all along!”“To what extent?” You wonder. She’s stubborn and one part of you still believes she wouldn’t have minded if she hurt you to make you stay put.“To the extend I’m really really sorry! Johnny, I thought you didn’t like me anymore, but today I realize I was completely wrong! I thought you were going to pick someone else to team up with, but you did this all just for us! Yeah, you’re a little dumb sometimes, but now I’m sure your heart is in the right place and I couldn’t be happier, big brother!” Amelia is all bubbly like old times. It warms your heart.“You’re awesome too, Amelia.” You heartily replied along with a smile.“…I wonder what happened, it’s hard for me to picture you both fighting.” Mom is deeply concerned.“We will get there, mom.” You respond to her concerns.You notice from the corner of your eye Nina’s scooter moving up places, you feel like you should present them both. You make the hearse go slower, and without noticing – you hinder The Cultists’ motor thingy’s movements slowing them down. You give Valdemar a cheeky hand wave. He looks annoyed. Now you’re leveled with Nina.“Hey Mom, this is Nina, my ex—… er, I mean teacher and leader of our wacky group.”“Uh…? Johnny?” Nina is confused. She’s the one driving the scooter while in the extra attached seat are Neko and Carmella.“Hey, Nina! This is Mom!”“Hi, sweetie! Love the hair! I wonder how you maintain it.” Mom is supportive as always.“T-thanks, Miss… uh?” Nina looks nervous. “Should I say Ando or Tomah?” She murmurs.“I never got to be Miss Ando! Just call me Ema!” Your mom giggles.“It’s very nice to m-meet you!” Nina is 100% nervous.“Mom, she wasn’t in a good place in the beginning, but now she’s the most reliable member we have!” Amelia compliments Nina.“Thank you, Amelia. But I’m not so sure about that, everyone contributes a lot to the group for me to pretend otherwise – and I have always been more of a burden than anything else. Don’t get me wrong, I’m doing all I can to rectify it.” Nina is flattered but she thinks it’s not true. To think at one point Amelia hated Nina.“Oh my, don’t be so hard on yourself! Why don’t you try smiling the same way when you saw my son? It’s such a pretty smile!” What is your mom trying to say?
>>3512788“I-I did…?” Nina blushes. “I-I don’t think I did.”“Johnny, this is worrying me, you have so many girls in love with you… Don’t take advantage of them, please!”“I don’t think that’s true in this case.” You are blunt about it. Who cares if Amelia hears it? She’s not going to remember later.“What makes you say that? The age gap? I can tell when a girl has a thing for my son! Like that one over there thinks nothing of you!” She points at Neko.“I… W-What?!” T_T Neko had her guard down.“Either way, have some confidence, girl! It’s going to take you far! Even in love!” Your mom winks at Nina who looks extremely embarrassed. You as well – Amelia is giggling in the back of the hearse.“A-Anyway! We should get back to racing!” You are too embarrassed by your mother’s comments. Not all the girls you know have a thing for you! But wouldn’t that be great…?This section of the race seems to be trouble for the first positions, seems like the Ambulance had problems with some monkeys… One part of you thinks you’re close to the next gate.It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100.>>3512668Sorry Anon, I read that too late. I will try better next time.
>>3512793>Aid Team Ruby>Sabotage Team Rob
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3512800
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>3512793>Aid Uh, who should we even aid at this point?I guess I'll go far Scarlets team, she's been behind a lot>SabotageGiorsal's team
>>3512793>Aid Osgood's group>Sabotage HowieBecause fuck Howie.
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3512793>>3512817Damnit, forgot my roll.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3512793>Aid Scarlett's team>Sabotage Team Rob
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3512793Help>Ruby is better than Scalet, don’t at meSabotage>this is how we do itBecause Howie and Twist cannot be fucked over enough
>>3512793Don't worry about it. I love everything about this.>INTRODUCTIONS>Henry finding out his friends made their own group>Big family hug time>MOORIKO>Kata's big CALAMITIES>Trent liking small women>DAT EMOTION10/10
>>3512857>>3512849>>3512793Maybe this drawing then having Ruby sitting on Osgood's lap?
>>3512788>“To the extend I’m really really sorry! Johnny, I thought you didn’t like me anymore, but today I realize I was completely wrong! I thought you were going to pick someone else to team up with, but you did this all just for us! Yeah, you’re a little dumb sometimes, but now I’m sure your heart is in the right place and I couldn’t be happier, big brother!” Amelia is all bubbly like old times. It warms your heart.It's nice to see how happy we've made Amelia Too bad she'll forget all of this...
Meanwhile inside Osgood’s van. Surprisingly, Bradford is the one driving, both Osgood and Ruby are spending quality time together in the backseat, cuddling and kissing for the whole ride. Which is the reason why they have done so poorly so far. Bradford doesn’t seem to mind though. “I love you so much, my prince of comeback! You’re the sweetest! Thank you for giving me another chance! I swear, I’m going to stop nagging, give you all the space you want, drop all the fitness stuff and forget about marriage, everything to make you happy!” Ruby is really in love.“No, don’t do that. Nag me all you want. Do all the things you love. Ruby, I love you for who you are, my precious little sweetie!”“Awwww! Osgood!” They keep kissing each other. “Aaah love. Such a wonderful thing.” Bradford is smiling ear to ear while doing an awful job driving. “Hey my beautiful prince, come here for a second…” Ruby looks playful, Osgood gets closer and she whispers something to his ear. Osgood stupid smile does an 180 and quickly starts panicking. She pushes Ruby aside and jump on the co-pilot seat. “W-What’s wrong?” Bradford looks concerned.“Move! Now!” Osgood throws Bradford to the back of the van. Then he starts driving 90 times faster than Bradford ever hope he could. “What’s wrong with this brute?! How can you leave your lady hanging just like that?!” Bradford is still bewildered after what just happened.“I-I don’t know what’s wrong either…” Ruby is really concerned as well. “Where is he?! WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!” Osgood has lost his marbles in pursuit of someone, but who…? At least they are going up the ranks…
>>3512924Meanwhile where the Lion thing is. Giorsal looks devastated, they wasted all their coins now and the machine isn’t working anymore. It was bound to happen, but you expect the ex-president to have more money than that. “Whyyyyyyyyyy?! Nothing good happens in my life! Everything goes wrong and wrong and wrong!!” Giorsal is disconsolate on her knees and hands on the ground. Esperanza appears next to her and grabs Giorsal’s shoulder. Then it becomes clear, she has one quarter more and this one has a string attached. The solution they needed! You find yourself in 3rd place with most of your friends surrounding you, this cannot be any better but… You have the bad feeling this area is getting to an end, and with that – another bunch of players are going to lose. What do you do? >Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)>Keep your pace. Better safe than sorry.>Try to go even faster! Take the lead!>Maybe go behind a little so you can interfere with a team that’s in the middle pack. (Specify who)>Write In.
>>3512924She's way too good for Osgood. I feel bad for her>>3512927>Try to go even faster! Take the lead!Say Hi to Constance
>>3512927>Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)Good luck, CharlieNothing personnel.
>>3512927>Catch up to Constance
>>3512928>>3512931Trying to catching up with Constance won! Please roll 1d100! Best of 4!
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>3512941
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>3512941
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3512941
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3512941
>>3512924Poor girl, way to good for his dumbass
>>3512545Its like watching a pair of initiate Angry Marines.
>>3512606Better him than Osgood.>>3512609>>3512639He won't run like a bitch though.
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>3512941
>>3512728You are my girlfriend?
>>3512793I wanted us to slip up and accidentally admit we were an item that did things, whats the roll for that?
>>3512970>He won't run like a bitch though.Yeah but he'll sexually harass the shit out of random depressed women>>3512974Yeah he put her on his lap and claimed that she was his and she's clearly very uncomfortable about it
>>3512996M-maybe she'll be mindbroken and then overcome her crippling anxiety with the power of love and they'll live happily ever after! Just like in my Doujins
We’re back at the announcer table with Bastet and Philonune!“…Bishop to e6.” Bastet makes her play. The commentators are playing chess, once they realize the cameras are on – they throw away the board. “Woah! The race is really heating up! Who the fuck is winning…?”“That adorable little piece of archeology and her medical staff!” Philonune responds. “And you’re right, Bastet – things are going to start heating up because the next section is the volcano! Be careful with the lava, one touch and that’s all she wrote!”“…So this is just an island and we’re using what we have for the track. Right?”“yUP.” Philonune nods.And that’s it for this let down of a segment.Back to the race!“I forgot to ask but is this little mummy girl is participating as well?” Mom wonders about Constance.“You want to meet her, mom? She’s ahead in the ambulance!” Amelia happily points out.“…Kind of ironic knowing her story.” Mom cannot help to point out.“Mom, we’re riding your hearse.” You break it to her.“Johnny, I was the one who came up with the idea! It’s supposed to be funny!” Mom has a twisted sense of humor.“…” Amelia will never find this tasteless joke funny, you in the other hand think it’s mildly entertaining.“Anyway, let’s try to move ahead and cat—”Someone crashes the back of the car!“FOUR-EYES! I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!” Oh god it’s Blake.“Is that the car of the bully who beat you up unconscious or the one who got killed by the police car?” Mom wonders.“Hey, Johnny! Look what I FOUND!” Trent is there as well. He’s pointing at Ajna semi-proudly. W-Why is Ajna there?! What’s going on?!“Well, technically both...” Amelia responds instead.“Hey Trent, what the fuck are you doing with Ajna!?” You shout.“She has a name?! That makes things easier! C’MON AJNA TELL HER YOU’RE FINE!” Trent yells at the poor girl. Foam is coming out of her mouth. “HOW CAN I TEACH YOU SELF-WORTH IF YOU KEEP GOING UNCONCIOUS ON ME?!”“W-What the fuck?!” You blurred out. “Why are you doing that?! I mean, leave her be!”“No teammate of mine is going to be a sobbing mess, YOU HEAR ME?!”“Mr. bully! You need to treat that poor girl more delicately or you’re not going to make any progress!” Mom is trying to help Trent for some reason with his stupid mission.“I have to what?” Trent is confused.“FUCK ALL THAT! I’M GOING TO KILL YA, FOUR-EYES!” Blake keeps crashing on you interrupting whatever mess is that.“Fend him off, Johnny!” Amelia is afraid now.
>>3513002Sadly you couldn’t do much and ended losing some ground… But you managed to pass the gate before it closed.“Pssst…! We have more losers for ya! Let’s listen to what they have to say!” Welimor and hidden cameramen go to spy on the next bunch of losers.“My math was off…? How is this possible?” Conti can’t believe they lost.“Why do you always act like you’re a super mathematician? You’re just a high school teacher.” Sewel has enough of Conti’s bullshit.“High school Principal.” Conti corrects.“I guess I don’t have it in me anymore, I truly lost my passion…” Craig laments this defeat.The Poker Night Aces winning hand was a bust…“Sorry Chewirton, we failed you.” Scarlet apologizes to the giant dog as tears keep falling down her face.“Woof.” Chewirton doesn’t seem to mind.“…I’m really sorry, Scarlet. We really tried, but it wasn’t meant to be.” Yukika apologizes. She’s trying to console Scarlet.“Why don’t you just confess to the guy once this shit race finishes? I don’t see the point in doing it later.” Sammi doesn’t care one bit about losing.Scarlet was kind of decent, wasn’t good enough again…“So who thought again a tank is a vehicle for a race again?” Ammirati starts blaming people immediately. “I lost to my subordinates for crying out loud, how can I ever face them now?”“The idea was to destroy the others. Why didn’t we ever shoot?!” Gordon is furious.“…Don’t tell me it was the red button.” Ammirati just realizes.“Another setback is not going to prevent the inevitable. I will stand tall at the end with the world at my feet.” Lloydington is enraged but focused in his future revenge.“Hmph… What a sore loser.” Ammirati shrugs.The Good guys never win in the end…
>>3513004It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100. (Last reply of the day, we continue tomorrow!)
>>3513002>TELL HERTell him*
>>3513006>AidCharlie>SabotageKILL HOWIE DAMNIT
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3513006Forgot dice
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3513006Help>HenrySabatoge>Terror Inducing Trio
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>3513006>AidJohnny's Dad>SabotageKa-shing
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>3513006kill howie
>>3512996No she isn't, she's already panic attacked far away to lala land. And his face doesn't match the description more importantly.>Yeah but he'll sexually harass the shit out of random depressed womenHe hasn't though. Nothing so far has been sexual, stop projecting your oversensitive ideas on better characters than you.
>>3513002Oh yeah, he's perfect for her. I wonder if he knows about what Osgood did and if he connected the dots.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>AidWILDFLAME>SabotageThe judges.
>>3513006> aid detective team 16> kill howie
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3513214Sorry!
>>3513188>No she isn't, she's already panic attacked far away to lala land. And his face doesn't match the description more importantly.Yeah she was already fucking uncomfortable and clearly wanted to avoid him at all costs exactly cause she feared for this shit, she already had a run in with thugs and that scared her for life. When you fear for your life your aren't exactly in the mood be put on some scary strangers lap>He hasn't though. Nothing so far has been sexual, stop projecting your oversensitive ideas on better characters than you.Are you fucking serious? What do you think putting her on his lap and saying "you're mine now" means? If any politician did that for you think everybody would just say that it's normal? No they'd quickly point out that it is indeed sexual harassment. And I'm not being some oversensitive Tumblr user, I was completely fine with him admiring Scarlet's ass and harmless shit like that, but forcing a Catatonic girl who's having an panic attack is creepy as shitYou can still like him but denying that this isn't fucked up is just plain dumb>>3513190>he's perfect for her.....
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3513006>Aid WILDFLAME>SabotageKa-shing
>>3513190>he's perfect for herI'm also kind of confused by this. Do you ship them?I said it as a joke earlier but do you actually think he's gonna Mindbreak her like in some Doujin and she'll end up liking it?
>>3513512Are you even reading the same posts as I am? >>3513399She wanted to avoid her team at all costs because their strangers, the fact it's Trent is irrelevant because she has no clue who she is, unless he was around when we talked to her at some point, I forgot if that happened or not. Don't think it did though.>Are you fucking serious? What do you think putting her on his lap and saying "you're mine now" means?The exact same thing when we got our hobos, pre mass confessions obviously, you ignoring what he immediately said to Johnny's Mom because your triggered by proxy doesn't change the fact your wrong for thinking its sexual harassment.>but forcing a Catatonic girl who's having an panic attack is creepy as shitForcing her to what? From what he's been saying to Johnny he's been trying to help, or at least keep her from dying in the backseat from Brent's driving. You screaming he's doing something fucked up is the second most retarded thing I have seen since the two idiots getting to vote by themselves to attack her in her own room. Your dumbass is jumping to the same kind of wrong conclusion as those two dipshits over a throwaway line. So yes, you are just a triggered tumblerite. So shut the hell up and watch.>he's perfect for herYeah, or as good as we'll be able to get on short notice to watch her, better than most of the alternatives. Like Howei, who would act exactly like you are acting like Trent is, or he would if he wasn't busy trying to start a fight with Johnny.
>>3513784who he* is. not she.
>>3513784It's not just the fact that they're strangers it's that they're loud and obnoxious strangers that you can easily tell are delinquents. If Ajna was paired with, say, Amelia then she'd just be awkwardly sitting in the corner, she wouldn't go full on catatonic. We've seen as much>The exact same thing when we got our hobos, pre mass confessions obviously? Yeah but we didn't put them on our lap>you ignoring what he immediately said to Johnny's Mom because your triggered by proxy doesn't change the fact your wrong for thinking its sexual harassment.You're ignoring the entire context. First of all Blake found her and then asked if she was Trent's type, then he went over to her and started at her body, and then placed her on his lap. Don't take my word for it go back and reread it, it's explicitly stated that he analyses her body. There's obviously a sexual connotation, you don't just put someone on your lap for no reason>Forcing her to what?Uh, sit on his fucking lap?>From what he's been saying to Johnny he's been trying to helpHow is putting her on his lap and saying that she's his helping though? It isn't, like at all. Just cause he wants her to represent the team better doesn't mean that's the only reason he's doing all this>or at least keep her from dying in the backseat from Brent's drivingBut he's making everything worse. He's not retarded like Blake, he actually has common sense and should he able to clearly establish a link between her freaking out and him talking to her. He clearly just doesn't care>Your dumbass is jumping to the same kind of wrong conclusion as those two dipshits over a throwaway line. So yes, you are just a triggered tumblerite. So shut the hell up and watch.Except no, he fucking is. You have yet to explain why he's doing what he's actually fucking doing and just made the assumption that he's only trying to help her cause he said that he didn't want his teammate to look pathetic. You have to be an actual, certified retard to think that him looking at her body, putting her on his lap, and saying that she is his has no sexual intent. You call me a tumblrite like I'm dealing out about the tiniest shit, but no, I didn't say anything when he did something tame like admiring Scarlet's ass, this is someone that's actually pretty messed up and you're clearly just defending him cause he's a character you like and therefore you need to justify actions lile this and ignore the context and call others retards when they argue against it. Get fucking over ourself>Yeah, or as good as we'll be able to get on short notice to watch her, better than most of the alternatives.Not at all. Most of the people we know aren't brutish delinquents who yell at her for everything she does.And also, why the fuck would you use fucking Howie as an example? Nobody in their right mind would suggest him. Don't just chose the worst possible example and compared them to make Trent look better
Meanwhile where the motorcycle is. Richard is the one driving it, Mickey and Double J are sitting in the extra attached seat. The latter is working on the motorcycle adding something to it…“Is it ready?” Richard asks Double J who looks really busy.“…It is.” Double J gives Richard a thumb up, then goes back to his seat.“W-What’s that…?” Mickey is confused.“You’ll see in just a second...” Richard smirks. “Hold on tight.” He presses a button on the bike’s handlebar, and they start going incredibly fast leaving almost all the competition behind!“Anyone you don’t like, kid?” Double J asks Mickey as they are holding on their seat for their dear life. He doesn’t seem to care about their incredible speed one bit.“AaaaaaaaaAAaaaAah!!” A frightened Mickey yells. Their vehicle starts slowing down as the boost is done.“…Did you hear me?” Double J wonders.“I… did! I did…” Mickey is calming down. “Uhm... I don’t like Twister!”“Which car has Twister in it?”“The van!”“The ugly one or the really ugly one?”“Uuh… the darker one?” Mickey points to the correct one.“Alright.”Double J drops a bomb of sorts that he has been storing in a box on his lap. The thing ends up exploding in front of Howie and company, making an eruption of lava happen underneath them, causing them to lose track of things and move back to the bottom of the standings. They managed to survive somehow.“Woah, that looked pretty!” Mickey is enjoying the explosions.“Hey Double J, can you enhance the bike again? We aren’t still on top.”“Aye, aye.” Jeff Jefferson is looking at the motorcycle again.They could turn to be more troublesome than you expected…
>>3514265Everyone is having trouble with the lava splurging from different places, obstructing the way up ahead. You’re no exception, but you are navigating around these obstacles without suffering any damage – leaving you in the middle of the pack. You’re 12th place as of now.What do you do?>Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)>Try to get a little ahead. You don’t want to risk losing at this stage.>Try to go even faster! Go really higher up!>Write In.
>>3514270>>Try to go even faster! Go really higher up!It's time for us to get back in the race
>>3514270>>Try to go even faster! Go really higher up!Mom still never got to meet Constance
>>3514270>Try to get a little ahead. You don’t want to risk losing at this stage.
>>3514270>Try to go even faster! Go really higher up!
>>3514286>>3514293>>3514310Please roll 1d100! Best of 4!
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3514315
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3514315Yee
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>3514315
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>3514315>>3514325hmm
“We’re falling behind…” Amelia is rather disappointed.“Amelia, we’re just playing nice to let our competition believe they have a chance.” Mom reassures. “Right, son?”“Yeah, Amelia, we have this in the bag. Just look at this.” It’s time to regain your lead!You commence your comeback and start taking risks on the track, finally putting yourself in the middle of the other racers – this family ride is taking no survivors! Besides, you still want your mom to meet Constance! Once you finally arrive at the upper half of the standings, the ambulance is within your reach! You gather the attention of their passengers.“Hey everyone! I want you all to meet my mom!” You tell all three them. Nurse Kata is the one driving, Dr. Calamity and Constance are on the co-pilot seat. Everyone there looks fairly calm as they say hi. “This is Dr. Imminenté Calamity, her niece Nurse Katastrophic Calamity and Constance!”“Hello everyone!” Mom waves at them.“Hiii!” Constance waves back more enthusiastically than the other two! She’s one happy mummy! “It’s nice to meet you!”“D’awww, aren’t you a little sweet pumpkin? What a wonderful smile!” Mom is touched. “When you talked about her, I expected her to not be as energetic.”“Mom, I told you Constance is a tough little sweetheart! I don’t think we wouldn’t have survived this far without her help!” Amelia adds to your sweet little mummy’s resume.“She’s truly a blessing, AHAaAhhAHAhaHAha!” Dr. Calamity gives his signature laugh for everyone to enjoy.“Quite a distinctive laugh, doctor! Also sounds very familiar to me…” Mom is trying to remember something.“Perhaps your memory is really fuzzy as of now, but I don’t easily forget the face of my patients or their families, little lady Ema.” Dr. Calamity creepily smiles, in other words, his normal smile. Hold on, they knew each other?!“I feel so terrible now for not remembering!” Mom is embarrassed.“Do not worry, those dark days are better forgotten.” You can spell melancholic with all the doc’s wrinkles on his face. “My intuition didn’t fail me, Johnny boy.” What did he mean by that?“Hehe, doesn’t surprise me. If a disaster occurred, my uncle was there.” Kata chimes in with a soft smile for you. Mom stares at Nurse Kata for a few seconds and realizes something.“…Johnny, come here for a second.” Mom gets closer to you and starts whispering. “Do not ever play with this woman’s heart. You understand?”“There you again…” You don’t care about what your mom is saying, because you know for sure Nurse Calamity has absolutely no interest in you and never will.“I’m serious, Johnny. Do not mess with her, if you want anything with her – you need to be absolutely serious about it. It’s a mother’s intuition.”
>>3514488“I would love to keep chatting with you all, but we need to continue racing — Au revoir." Kata begins accelerating and leaving you behind.“Awww… I wanted to pass more time with the little girl.” Mom seems disappointed. “It’s the closest thing I’ll have that’s similar to playing with my grandchildren…”“…” Amelia and you feel sad now.Seconds later you went ahead of them. How ironic…It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>3514491Help>HenrySabotage>Flint Masterson.
>>3514491I like the standings so far, especially the final three. That's just my opinion though.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3514491>Aid RubyStill curious who Osgood wanted to see>Sabotage RichardDon't want that guy in the number 1 spot
>>3514491Help>HenrySabotageWhoever the fuck is in 10th place
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>3514527
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>3514491>Aid Ruby's team>SabotageKa-Shing's team
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3514491>Aid Henry>Sabotage serial killer
Meanwhile where the Motorcycle is at. Double J is still working on it to give it an additional boost of speed.“Is it ready? The others are getting too closer.” Richard asks his partner, who is obviously too busy working on the machine. The detective looks back and stares at Nina and company who are second. “The curves on that woman…”“Uh?” Mickey got something of what Richard said.“I-Ignore me.” Richard now is looking at the dangerous road. “Is it ready or not?”“…” Double J is too focused to respond.“Hey Richard, remember what I said before? That maybe Ms. Susie is on that scooter? Maybe we could say hi to them when they get closer!”“I-I refuse to be near that woman, not even to greet her.” He presses the turbo button making a short circuit happen, the bike starts malfunctioning until it stops.“…” Double J stares daggers at Richard, he apologizes profusely for his mistake. As the other participants get ahead, Mickey is able to confirm T_T Neko is Susie…Meanwhile inside Osgood’s shitty van…“We’ve been going up and down this race and I can’t find him! Shit!” Osgood is furious.“M-Maybe they already lost the race…?” Bradford brings up a good point.“Fuck! I’ll need to ask someone else them, but who?!”“Osgood please, tell me what’s wrong! Is everything fine? Please talk to me!” Ruby has been concerned for a while now and with good reason.“Not now, Ruby! Just let me handle this and we will fine in a minute!” Osgood shouts to her girlfriend who seems heartbroken.“Osgood, do you even think what you’re saying before it comes out of your mouth? How insensitive!” Bradford is obviously bugged by Osgood’s treatment of his girlfriend.“You’re not being helpful right now!” Osgood looks ahead and realizes something after seeing the hearse up ahead. “I got it!”
>>3514620Somehow the prince of comeback is able to maneuver his shitty van to get next to you. He shouts so loudly you cannot ignore him anymore!“What’s wrong?” You shout from the hearse.“Johnny! Fuck! I’m sorry for everything I did! I’m a stupid motherfucker who deserves no shit! The worst human scum on the face of… whatever this is, I don’t think this is our planet. Just plain worthless.” Osgood is berating himself for some reason. “But I need a big fucking favor.”“…What’s happening, sweetie?” Your mom is confused.“Oh yeah, this is Os—”“Just pay attention, man! I beg you! Please! You’re the only one left who can help! I know somehow you will able to remember this shit after the fact!” Osgood interrupts your explanation to your mom. He is crying at this point. “Whatever she decides to do, please! Please! PLEASE! Take care of Ruby! She’s the most wonderful human being I’ve met! She’s everything to me! I’ll do anything! I’ll lose this stupid shit-ass race! Just… please…” He could extinguish this volcano with all the tears that are raining down his face. Well technically you can’t do that with water, but the point stands.You can see both Bradford and Ruby as concerned about Osgood as they are confused.What do you do?>“Osgood, you need to be honest with her because clearly, you’re hiding something from her. Again.”>“Already made that promise with your partner. So don’t worry.”>“Deal. Turn off your van now and say goodbye.”>“Sorry Osgood. But you came to talk to the wrong man.”>Write In.
>>3514622>“Already made that promise with your partner. So don’t worry.”
>>3514622>>“Already made that promise with your partner. So don’t worry.”
>>3514622>Of course, what else are friends for?>Thumbs upOnce a bro, always a bro. No matter what
>>3514634This. Let him know we never truly stopped seeing him as a friend even after everything that happenedOh and also say hi to Bradford
>>3514656Speaking of Bradford we should swear to get that belt back while we're making all these promises
>>3514672We should, he deserves to be buried in that thing
>>3514701>>3514634Support we are a bro
“Of course, what else are friends for?” You give him a thumbs up.“Johnny… Y-You’re the shit! You’re the best, bro! I will never forget this!” Osgood is amazed and incredibly grateful! “…For fuck’s sake, why was I such a shithead to you?! To everyone?! You guys are really amazing! And I’m… so sorry… I want to make it up to everyone… I want to amend for every stupid shit I ever did… I want to live… FUCK! FUUUUUUUCK!” Osgood is beating up his steering wheel as he shrieks.“Osgood…” You’re at loss for words. “…live?” Ruby is deeply confused. Oh god, she thinks Osgood is still alive...Bradford grabs Osgood from the back, almost like hugging him and starts patting his chest. “It’s fine, man. It’s fine… Everything will be fine. We did all we could. Just believe in them.”“That’s right, Mr. Osgood. We never abandon those we love even in the afterlife.” Your mom tries to calm him down as well. Osgood buries his face on the wheel and continues crying. You have no idea how their van managed to not go out of control. Ruby gets closer, starts consoling his boyfriend and moves him back to the backseat. Bradford is the one driving. “Hey Bradford.” You say hi to the champ.“Sorry about that.” He smiles despite feeling like shit after what just happened. “What’s up Johnny bro?”“I swear I’ll get that belt of your back.”“Haha! Don’t sweat it! I appreciate the gesture though.” Bradford laughs. “Honestly, it would be pretty sweet if you di—” Someone crashes the back of the van, making it spin out of the way! It’s Trent’s car! A-And Ajna is the one driving and she looks enraged! What the fuck?! “YES! YES! Let the hate flow through you!” Trent is on the co-pilot seat and is having the time of his life.“…” Blake is tied up in the back of the car for some reason. He’s fuming!“...W-Why d-did you d-do a-all that to m-me?! I l-loved y-you! Why?! WHY?! WHY?!” Ajna keeps ramming on Osgood’s car and both start to lose speed rapidly. “I-If you hated m-me so much! I will H-HATE you as well!” You hope they are able to cross the gate before it closes as the volcano section is coming to a close. “That was something very sweet from you. I’m so proud.” Mom smiles.“If you need my help, don’t forget I’m here!” Amelia is happy to help.“…Yeah.” You cannot help but to feel sad about what just happened.
>>3514794“It’s everyone’s favorite part of the show! Let’s watch how these failures lie to themselves about what just happened!” Welimor and hidden cameramen go to spy on the next bunch of losers… “NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO!” Howie is shrieking like the man-child he is. “Johnny cheated! He did something to us! We were winning! NOOOOO!”“BULLSHIT! THIS IS BULLSHIT!” 7w157 is shrieking like a baby as well. “…Is this what the masses really want? To let our world be destroyed? There is no hope for the future...” Kaz feels devastated. Team this is how we do it! showed us how to lose. “Well, we tried.” Terry shrugs.“It was a good effort, guys! I’m proud! Nobody gave us a shot, but we did well!” George congratulates his team despite losing.“Yeah, I guess we did…” Soh is a little salty, but the good mood of his teammates is lifting him as well.“We beat Scarlet, that’s all I asked for. So who wants to eat something? It’s my treat!” Terry offers.“Nice!” George seems up for it. Henry’s Friends will hang out somewhere else. “I guess everyone is right about me…” Henry depressively stares at the distance. Henry did as expected. Which isn’t much, but it’s worth mentioning sometimes…
>>3514796It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100. (Last Reply of the day, we continue tomorrow.)
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3514797>Aid Wildflame>Sabotage Team Rob
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3514796>AidCharlie>SabotageThe Behemoth
>>3514794Damn Ajna, he totally had it coming but still...
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3514797>Aid Johnny's dad>Sabotage Behemoth.Sasuga, Henry
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3514797
>>3514620>“Uh?ITS HUH, NOT UH!
>>3514830https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/uhYou're wrong and you didn't even tell me who you are supporting and sabotaging!
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3514797Help>the VilliersSabotage>The Hobos and their caretaker
>>3514836Oh, and uh(proper way to use it by the way)>>3514824Aid our HobosSabotage Behemoth seems the best bet.
>>3514839>>3514845I'm too petty to change my ways.
>>3514845they mean the same though?
>>3514794Yeah....don't what was to be expected from him coaching her for however long this race was. And the fact his perfect target for his is right in front of them. Yikes. Wonder how Osgood is gonna wriggle his way out of it.>>3514796SUCK IT HOWIE!>>3514851And I am too autistic to resist screeching at it. We seem to be at an impasse. >>3514852They way they are used is different.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3514797>AidCharlie>SabotageSerial Killer
>>3514794And to think anons were salty about Trent putting Ajna right over his cock while she was catatonic. Several minutes is all it took for her to snap out of it and become stronger.Why is Trent so based, bros?
>>3514895If you think the behavior that Trent was encouraging was healthy than I honestly don't know what to tell you anon. He's literally turning her into a YandereAnd also the lap shit was still completely unnecessary
>>3515355> He's literally turning her into a YandereWhere are you getting that? Ajna is just letting her rage out at Osgood after battling it up for years. I don't think Trent had anything to do with that.
>>3515373>Where are you getting that? Ajna is just letting her rage out at Osgood after battling it up for years. I don't think Trent had anything to do with that.Fair. I guess I can reasonably see him just telling her to her rage out cause he thinks it's funny (which it is). Chalk it up to interpretation I guess
>>3515386You notice he even dropped the Palpatine line. He knows what he's doing.
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3514797Aid Johnny's DadSabotage the Serial Killer
Rolled 47 (1d100)>Aid Wildflame>Sabotage The Hobos and their caretaker
>>3515355You use that word, but I am certain you don't know what that means.
>>3515386>InterpretationAre you one of the two idiots that voted to attack Anja while the rest of the thread was asleep?
Now that the volcano section is done you hear a loud announcer inform everyone: YOU GOT BOOST POWER!!! Not even a millisecond later, a vehicle passes through the competition in supersonic speed – even surpassing you! It’s the Blue Falcon and WILDFLAME! “Apologies, well-intentioned citizens of this blue earth! But it’s time for THE ONE-MAN WRECKING CREW to take over!” WILDFLAME salutes as he climbs the rankings. Dumb guy doesn’t know he’s not going to have any health left if he keeps abusing his boost power! Meanwhile where the Behemoth is. He has been throwing and riding his Big Pillar for the entire race, but it finally got stuck in a wall. He’s trying to take it out, but he’s struggling. That’s going to cost him some places…
>>3516202We’re back at the announcer table with Bastet and Philonune! “We’re not even halfway through this shit?! What’s next anyway?” Bastet doesn’t even pretend to care.“The dystopian apocalyptic level.” Philonune informs.“The… what?”“It was my suggestion so we are rolling with that.” “So what should we expect here?”“Well since there is a giant vortex of destruction floating around there, the possibility of being sucked by it is high and the ground is not reliable.”“The racers will have to look out for that, I guess…” Bastet is not sure how to react. “Since our backroom staff was complaining about our lack of professionalism, we’re interviewing people in these segments to keep us busy, without further ado I present to you: Jun Spice! How are you doing today, sir?” “I’ve been better.” The intimidating Jun Spice responds.“Uhm… So… Who do you think is going to win?” “Despite my star pupil and my lovely granddaughter participating, they have done nothing but bring shame to themselves – so my vote goes to the Calamity Clinic Collision.”“Daaaamn, you should be more supportive of your granddaughter.” Bastet doesn’t see the irony with her/his statement.“Mind your own business.”After a few seconds of silence, Philonune comments: “I like his style.” And this is the end of this segment.
>>3516206Back to the race! So WILDFLAME just passed through like nobody’s business, making your journey in 2nd place short-lived. The concrete is falling off or going upwards to the void of this city ruin, things are going to be a little tricky from now on... What do you do? >Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)>Keep your pace. Better safe than sorry...>Try to go even faster! Take the lead! Show them why you’re the boss!>Maybe go behind a little so you can interfere with a team that’s in the middle pack. (Specify who)>Write In.
>>3516207>Smash a nearby team! (The team in 4th place)
>>3516210>Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)Team cultists
>>3516212>>3516213Please Roll 1d100! Best of 3!
>>3516147Can you really not understand a joke/hyperbole?>>3516148Uh, no? I also thought it was retarded, what would lead you to ask that?>>3516210>>Smash a nearby team!The cultists
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3516231Easy ride over
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>3516231Not best of 4?
>>3516238No, the race is getting harder.
>>3516240Damn, is it eventually going to devolve into best of 2?
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>3516231
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>3516243Forgot roll...
>>3516282We're screwed, but we're not screwed YET. Very important distinction.
“Johnny dear, I’m really over the moon knowing how many cute girls have fallen for you!” Mom is jubilant.“M-Mom, it’s not true, you’re the one assuming stuff…” Someone would actually say you’re humble bragging, but you don’t believe they actually are all in love with you.“Don’t kid yourself or else you’re going to waste your chances.” Mom advises. “Now, your sister on the other hand, do any of the gentlemen here have a thing for you?” “H-How I’m supposed to know…?” Amelia starts panicking.“Maybe if I meet up with any of your friends I could tell you.” Mom seems excited.“B-But there is no one I like or anything…” Amelia is embarrassed.“Don’t give me that coy look! I know you well, missy. I’m not going to be here for long, so stop keeping it secret! I want to help! ” Mom smile goes wry once she notices Amelia is not hiding anything. “Oh no…” “It doesn’t matter, mom! Let’s talk about something else!” Amelia pretends everything is fine.“Amelia, before my accident, I thought if someone like me was able to find love, you won’t have any trouble as well – but seeing how things have developed makes me worried.”“M-Mom, I’m just 16! I’m not worrying about that stuff…”“Sweetie. You’re completely correct, but just in case…” Mom turns to you. “Johnny, if your sister still keeps having problems, could you make sure she finds someone decent? Maybe present her one of your friends or someone you trust?” “Mom, I refuse to meddle with my little sister’s love life. It’s not the place for me to say anything.” You stand your ground.“Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry for asking, sweetie.” Mom apologizes. “But your sister didn’t have any problems agreeing to helping you before I passed…”“M-Mom, Johnny wasn’t supposed to know that!” Amelia is full red now. “It was our secret…”“Oh I’m sorry! I just want to make sure you two are going to be happy!” Mom apologizes again. It’s weird seeing her being so rash. “But it’s not like a good looking gentleman is going to fall from the sky to ask you out!”
>>3516392Right on cue, your car is being smashed by the stupid wheel thing the Cultists are riding! “Why are you two so obsessed with them?” Vivienne asks his fellow cultists.“Shut it. I’m busy.” Valdemar responds and without any hesitation rams into your car again! You decide to retaliate and the trio go flying back! That's what happens when someone messes with your family! “Look at them go!” Amelia is now trying to pretend the last conversation is over.It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100.
>>3516395>Aid random group of terrorists>Sabotage team rob
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>3516395>AidStan and his crew>SabotageNina's team, because I do not want a Nina thread. Better characters for it
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3516407
>>3516403don't forget to roll!
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3516395>AidStan's team>SabotageKa-shing
Rolled 65 (1d100)>aid Stan Ando and Others>sabotageThe Hobos and Their Caretaker!
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3516395>Aid Stan Ando and OthersSabotage Kashing
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>3516412
>>3516234I wasn't talking to you. Unless you have multiple IDs
>>3516491>Unless you have multiple IDsI do
Meanwhile where the horse is. Your dad is the one in the lead, while the other two gentlemen are behind. “We’re doing terribly, Ando. Just like your way of parenting! No wonder your son hates your guts!” Joel throws shade to your father.“We’re riding a horse with two extra fat fucks behind me, what did you expect?!” Stan won’t stand for this! “And fuck you, he’s not my son and will never be! He acts, speaks and moves like a little bitch and the only worthless cunt that fits that description is you! It’s yours! Just because Ema begged me to look after the little twerp when he was born, doesn’t mean I’m his father.” “Guys, please! I think we should be proud of our efforts. It is a tough race after all! You have to recognize even you Stan have your limits.” Ruffus tries to look at the bright side. “And perhaps you’re right, Johnny might not be your son – he’s doing pretty well for himself now. Way better than the deadbeat of his real father.” “Now you are calling me out?! Just look at him! He doesn’t even look like me! Not even close! I’m not the fucker who abandoned him like a street rat! You should be pointing your finger at him!” Stan is furious.“If you were so confident, why didn't you ever take a paternity test? You know very well he’s the spawn of your hell pit.” Joel smirks. “Having an Ando under my roof? Not ever again.”“Both of you are deplorable.” Ruffus finally has enough. “You put this bright kid’s future in jeopardy just because of some personal grudge. Did you ever think about how young Johnny feels about this? When will any of you two take responsibility?” “W-What is done is done…” Joel responds without admitting fault.“Do I care what a homeless kid in the streets feels about me? Fuck no.” Stan barks back. “Stan. My goodwill has its limits, friend. Doesn’t matter how much I feel indebted for what you did for me, I can’t pretend you’re being anything but a heinous man for years now – I can’t even bother to pretend you’re a nice man in front of your kid anymore.”“Shut the fuck up. I never wanted a kid. And you fuckers have tested my patience enough… Get out.” Stan Ando kicks both Joel and Ruffus from the horse, now the animal is moving faster than ever! He’s getting up the standings now!
>>3516617>>Stop trying to fight for 2nd and continue the smooth sailing.
>>3516615Meanwhile at the side of the road. Welimor and a cameraman are interviewing Flint Masterson, who is not with the rest of Ka-Shing’s team. “We heard you abandoned the race! Could you elaborate on the reason why?” Welimor the journalist asks.“To put it lightly, there was a conflict of interests…” Flint looks at the Auto-Rickshaw in the distance, he smirks – not minding one bit about what just happened. You’re currently battling for 2nd place with the Assembly squad. They are getting the best of you though. You feel like this stage is going to end soon. What do you do? >Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)>Stop trying to fight for 2nd and continue the smooth sailing.>Try to go even faster! Take the lead! Show them why you’re the boss!>Maybe go behind a little so you can interfere with a team that’s in the middle pack. (Specify who)>Write In.(whoops I deleted it by mistake.)
>>3516623>>Try to go even faster! Take the lead! Show them why you’re the boss!Let's try to get a lead going before it turns to best of 2 and get fucked over
>>3516623>>Try to go even faster! Take the lead! Show them why you’re the boss!Yeeeeah, the fact that we're getting less rolls as we go on scares meDo the others also get less rolls too?
>>3516623>>Try to go even faster! Take the lead! Show them why you’re the boss!
>>3516637the others only have one roll. I'm not going to throw 3 dices for +20 competitors, I'm too lazy.
>>3516626>>3516637>>3516638Also please roll! 1d100! Best of 3!
Rolled 84 (1d100)
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>3516644
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3516644
You managed to go past the Assembly members and leave them behind without much trouble, giving you 2nd place as Nina and company seem to have a hefty lead – how the hell are they so far ahead? Weren’t they struggling at the start?“…This scenery was cool and all, but no one got sucked by the giant vortex.” Amelia comments, slightly disappointed by the events that transpired.“Sweetie, those are just special effects, that’s not a real vortex.” Mom explains to Amelia what’s going on.“Oooh. It looks way too real! It’s true what they say, the best CGI is the one you don’t spot!” Amelia nods to herself.“If you didn't notice a giant vortex in the sky, I think you need better glasses, dear sister.” You comment, despite being occupied with the road.“T-That’s not what I meant…”“Amelia, have you gone to the ophthalmologist lately?” Your mother feigns concern, trying to keep up with your joke.“N-No… S-Should I?” Amelia feels stupid.“Sweetie, we are joking. Don’t take it so seriously.” Mom feels bad for Amelia.“…Hehe.” Amelia now finds it funny.You managed to get past by the gate! You’re safe!
>>3516799“You know what time it is, everyone! Time to mine some salt!” Welimor and the group of hidden cameramen are ready to showcase the next bunch of losers…“I’m sorry, Mickey, Jeff.” Richard is extremely disappointed in his display.“It’s fine.” Double J doesn’t care. He never did to begin with.“I had fun, big brother! I don’t care about losing!” Mickey smiles.Richard smiles back. “Let’s enjoy the rest of the day, Mickey. What do you want to do?”“Uuuh… I don’t have anything in mind…”“Let’s walk around for a bit.”Both brothers walk away.“…” Double J is left alone. Poor Double J.Team Do Better weren't much better…“Nice effort, but It wasn’t meant to be!” Flint appears next to the Formula 1 car, clapping with his heart content.“Flint? What are you doing here?” Gonzalez is surprised.“Hey, I was the main contributor to this disaster, so I’m facing defeat like a man.” Flint looks fairly apologetic. “…Where is Ka-Shing any way?”“He jumped on a horse before the gates closed… I think he joined another team.”“Y-You can do that!?” Flint is extremely surprised.Ka-Shing is not done yet!“Another failure to add to the list. Sometimes I wonder how we are related…” Dorothy is disappointed.“Dad! Let me go! Let me beat her up! I’m tired of this shit!” Lise is furious, his dad Danforth is grabbing her arms.“…Please, Lise, she’s your mother.” Danforth doesn’t want them to fight.“Regretfully…” Dorothy sighs loudly.“Why do you hate me so much, hhuhh?! What did I do to you!? I didn’t want to be your daughter, FUCK!” Lise starts shouting at Dorothy, who is basically ignoring her.“…I just wanted my family to be happy for once.” Danforth mutters to himself.The Villiers have their last family crisis…
>>3516802It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3516803AID CHARLIESABOTAGE NINA
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3516803>Aid Team Nariko>Sabotage Team Rob
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3516803>Aid Giorsal>Sabotage NinaShe's doing way better than I both expected or wanted
Rolled 88 (1d100)>AidTerror Inducing Trio. >Sabotage B-Worm team, y'know, the one with long name
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>3516803>AidHobos>SabotageNina
We’re back at the announcer table with Bastet and Philonune! “12 teams out so far. Good riddance.” Bastet doesn’t even care about the contestants. “So, what’s next now?”“Blighttown.” Philonune checks his notes.“…Are you serious?” “Indeed I am. I hope our racers like swamps, poison, iffy platforming and vertical game design. Because it packs all that and more!”“I hope we won’t get sued.” Bastet turns to the other side of the desk. “New interview with a new human. This is Catastrovania Strifaust Marti… Moru… Whatever. Catastrovania, ladies and gentlemen.” The eccentrically dressed cat girl is paralyzed with stage fright. “…Anyone there?”“…” Catastrovania isn’t saying a thing.“Hey, this is highly unprofessional.” The cat entity seems annoyed. “So who do you think is winning?“I-I-I-I-I…. f-f-f-f-for s-s-saw it all!” Catastrovania poorly poses and points to her hidden eye. “With my ca-ca-ca—”“Aw shit, then don’t tell us! Cut the feed!” The segment ends abruptly.
>>3516886Meanwhile inside the Crazy Taxi… “Are we winning yet?” Gerard asks.“No.” Charlie responds.“Are we winning yet?”“No.”“Are we winning yet?”“No.” “…This is getting pretty annoying, can you start winning please?” Joe asks politely.“You will have to apologize my manners, but could you guys keep it quiet? It’s not an easy feat in the slightest and your cooperation is needed.”“That’s not true, this is child’s play! Look!” Gerard kicks the Taxi and for some odd reason, it starts going way too fast. “…Mind explaining what that was?” A pleasantly surprised Charlie wonders.“A brilliant hidden move I was saving. Now the least you can do is start winning.” Gerard proclaims, but in reality he has no idea what just happened.“Yes. I’ll return the favor.” Charlie feels confident now. They went ahead a lot of places and now they’re contesting for 1st place!“I knew you gained some pounds the last few years, but for the love of god, do you have any self-respect? Just look at you! I don’t know how you can drive so proudly looking like this!” Carmella is disgusted by Nina’s appearance. “Besides, how slutty is that outfit? I mean, you’re grooming your students, so I’m not that surprised you have no shame. I can’t believe that kid was your boyfriend, what the fuck is wrong with you? Don’t tell me he wasn’t, those thirsty looking eyes of yours are telling. Shameless whore.” Carmella has been actively berating Nina for a while now, they have managed to accrue a big lead despite all of that. The teacher has been ignoring her all the way, almost like she’s used to her complaining.“Shut up! Just shut up, you prick! You’re the worst!” T_T Neko has enough. “Who the freak do you think you are?!”“Oh, be quiet!” Carmella pushes T_T Neko away, making fall out of the seat onto the track. “NEKO!” Nina does a 180 to rescue the cat girl, since Neko is basically an actual cat girl – she fell on her feet. Nina stops her scooter to check on her. “A-Are you okay?”“…She tried to kill me.”“Yeah… That’s enough.” Nina is angry now. Now Carmella is tied up and has a sock from unknown origins inside her mouth. Sadly, they lost their lead.
Oh shit, we need to decelerate.
>>3516887You’re leading now thanks to Nina’s team having problems, Charlie’s team is very close to you… What do you do? >Conserve your lead! Don’t do anything stupid!>Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)>Maybe go behind a little so you can interfere with a team that’s in the middle pack. (Specify who)>Write In.
>>3516890>Maybe go behind a little so you don't run into any poisonous areas or get bogged down in actual bogs in your haste,.
>>3516890>Maybe go behind a little so you can interfere with a team that’s in the middle pack. (Specify who)Go say hi to Dad :^) oh and Ka-Shing too
>>3516890>get in front of dad and slam the breaks
>>3516890>>Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)>B-WORMDon't wanna be in first but don't want to leave top 5 and this like decelerating but with the bonus of fucking someone else over
>>3516893>>3516894This won!Please roll 1d100! Best of 3!
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3516916
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>3516916Here goes nothing!
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3516916
You decided it’s best if you took it easy since this is goddamn Blighttown, and let the other racers eat the future obstacles. Besides, you think it’s time to encounter your father again, you lose some speed to be leveled with him. For some reason, he’s riding with Ka-Shing. “Long time no see.” You have no idea how to address your father.“Haha! So you were actually leading? Maybe you have some real Ando inside you.” Your dad begins mocking you like old times.“He’s 50% Ando, Stan. He’s your son, remember?” Mom chimes in immediately. “Hey cutie pie, I see you conserved those curves, even added some extra meat to ‘em! Mind if we met again later and have some fun for old times’ sake?” Your dad is hitting on your mom!“Stan, I’m a married woman.”“That stuff doesn’t count now that you’re dead, remember? Besides, I don’t think it would matter anyway. I know you miss me.”“You have a point, hehe.” Mom laughs. Amelia stares at mom like she was backstabbed. “I-I meant the part where my marriage being null! I have no interest in Stan!” “Inside jokes and family issues, nice…” Ka-Shing is somewhat uncomfortable.“Tell me about it…” Amelia agrees for some reason.“Aren’t you two siblings?”“Half siblings! Different dads.” Mom interrupts. “You wish. Me and Johnny are nothing alike.” Stan scoffs at your mother.“Stan, Johnny is your son. I never cheated on you, I didn’t even know Joel back then. I would never lie to you. You just kicked me out for no reason.” Mom seems hurt. “But after listening to everything Johnny told me about you, you’re right, Stan. You’re not my son’s father. The kind man who conceived my Johnny no longer exist, and just an empty husk of a failure is what’s left. A worthless, irresponsible, cowardly and jealous egomaniac. Please Johnny, never call this man your father ever again.” “Sorry, Stan. But it’s the truth.” You smiled at him. He’s fuming, you have never seen him this enraged before and you saw him lost many sports bets.
>>3517001“Dayum, you just got told!” Ka-Shing breaks the intensity of the moment. “I’m ashamed of being business partners now!”“Shut your trap.” Stan yells back. “The only time I cared about being a father was when I had this bitch in all fours, moaning my name and calling me daddy.” Stan starts laughing. Your Mom hides from the embarrassment. “What did you say about my mom?” You are going to kill him.“Hey, old man. You think that shit’s funny to say to a mother in front of her kids?” Ka-Shing’s threatening voice is quite a dramatic shift in intensity.“Mother? Popping kids out with every man you met doesn’t make a mother, it makes you a whore. Now we’re putting whores in pedestals or something?” Stan responds back. “Wrong answer.” Ka-Shing immediately grabs his neck and starts choking him. “Kid! Hit the horse now!”“Johnny, do it!” Amelia responds without hesitation.“I’m more petty than I’m competitive! Takes us out! It’s a cool way to go, too!” Ka-Shing smirks. You wonder why he’s doing all this, but you’re not going to complain! What do you do? >Do as Ka-Shing says and take out your dad’s horse.>Refuse to do it. Also It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100.(Last Reply of the day, we continue tomorrow.)
>>3517003AID VALDEMARSABOTAGE NINA
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>3517003>Do as Ka-Shing says and take out your dad’s horse.FORGOT ROLL
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3517003>Do as Ka-Shing says and take out your dad’s horse.Sorry horse, but our Slighty Petty Revenge towards our father needs to be fulfilled. Thank you Uncle Ka-Shing>Aid Constance>Sabotage Rob
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3517003>>Do as Ka-Shing says and take out your dad’s horse.No need to hesitate, it's just a dumb race>AidCultists>SabotageNina
>>3517003>Do as Ka-Shing saysCan we disconnect our seat belt and use it as a rope to give Ka-Shing a way to get to our car? I am fond of him.
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>3517003>Do as Ka-Shing says and take out your dad’s horse.Fuck himAid ConstanceFuck over Cultists
>>3517013you gotta aid/sabotage and roll too
>3517003Help>The Hobos and their caretaker!Sabotage>Good luck, Charlie!
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>3517249>Do as Ka-Shing says and take out your dad’s horse.
>>3517003Stan?>Fuck em upHelp>The Hobos and their caretaker!Sabotage>Rob
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3517303
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>3517003>Do as Ka-Shing says and take out your dad’s horse.>Aid Hobos>Sabotage Charlie
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3517003>AidGiorsal>SabotageNina
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3517003>>Do as Ka-Shing says and take out your dad’s horse.>Aid Constance>Sabotage WILDFLAME
“Sorry Ka-Shing and horse!” You smash the horse with the hearse and all 3 go down.“Don’t sweat it, kid!” Ka-Shing yells from the ground.Luckily, they all fell into a puddle of swamp water infested with disgusting bugs and full of the diseases, eugh. You also realize the horse was a machine! The impact peeled off some of the skin to show its metallic casket. That explains why they were able to keep up with the race. “Haha! Eat poop, Uncle Stan! You pervert!” Amelia is smiling from ear to ear, the feeling of vengeance runs through your mother’s part of the family’s veins.“We will need to find a way to thank Ka-Shing for what he did.” You will show everyone his sacrifice wasn’t in vain!“Despite his flashiness, what a cute gentleman he was!” Mom acknowledges, but something about the way she said it bothers you.“…Mom, do you only fall in love with scumbags? We already told you what type of man he was.” Amelia breaks it to Mom.“She has a point, Mom.” Both of your dads are terrible people, er… Stan and Joel are terrible people. Ka-Shing is not as bad, but you don’t know much about him.“Uh?! I n-never professed any romantic feelings for him! A grown-up woman with two kids like me h-having a r-relationship? It’s too late for that! B-Besides—”“Mom, I was kidding! Not so funny when you are the one being teased, hhuhh?” Amelia smirks triumphantly.“You devilish little cub! That one stung!” Mom starts relaxing. “…If I had to be serious for a moment, I apologize for my poor selection of spouses – you two deserve better parents...”“I get it, mom. Love can cloud one’s judgment. One moment you’re cuddling and watching a movie together thinking everything is fine, then the next day you are fighting a giant bug monster to save our dear lives.” You all act stupid when in love.“…That’s oddly specific.” Amelia feels conflicted.“Yes, poor decisions happen. But honestly, I don’t really regret it one bit! They gave me the 2 most wonderful children in the world!” Mom kisses your cheek then Amelia’s.What a wonderful family moment.
>>3518787“Woah, I’m here earlier than ever! So someone already lost? Let’s check them out!” Welimor and the sneak cameramen had a new mission to spot some early losers.“You stupid motherfucker, why did you do that?!” Stan yells at Ka-Shing.“I’m wealthy enough to be picky about my business partners.” Ka-Shing states with a grin on his face.“Fuck you, you’ll have to pay triple now!” Stan feels ridiculed.“I’m not paying for shit! You’re the dimwitted idiot who makes a deal when no contracts can make them function! We’re not going to remember any of this shit!” Ka-Shing brings the dealbreaker afloat. “Just ‘cause this shit is temporary doesn’t mean I have to put up with your crap.”“It was none of your business.” Stan wants to beat the crap out of the millionaire.“Sorry pal, I’m always interested in investing in new ventures!” Ka-Shing tries to be cheeky as he does a little dance. He suddenly stops being goofy and becomes serious. “You were over the line, old man. You got what you deserved. Those two finally got to see their deceased mother again and you talked about how much of a whore she was and how much she loved sucking your cock. Keep that shit to yourself.”“I told her I didn’t want any kids and the bitch had him anyway. I never wanted him and never will, he knows that – he knows he’s a mistake.” Stan is relentless. Ka-Shing’s eyes open wide when he heard those words.“At best, I promised her I would give him my medical records if he needed them, maybe meet once or twice if the little shit got curious. But 15 years later, he pops out of nowhere and I’m supposed to care about him? Treat him like my family? He should be grateful I gave him a roof to live in and paid for all of his crap. That’s not even counting if he’s really my son or not.” Stan believes he has a point. “It’s all Ema’s fault. She never apologized. Not even one word acknowledging I didn’t have to care for this kid. She acts all self-righteous like she didn’t put me in the spot, now I’m the villain. I thought she was better than that, but I should’ve known better…”“I get you and I would feel ya, like deeply – if you haven’t told your son he was a mistake. You don’t say that crap to your kid even if you think it’s true. Nobody wants to feel unwanted. That shit doesn’t only hurts but stays with you, it burns deeply, every time you fucked up, those words come back to haunt you. They wear you down and drag you further and further to a place nobody wants to be. And it never becomes easier…” Ka-Shing stares at the distance solemnly, as something similar happened to him. “I understand you’re hurt, you didn’t want any of this. But it’s not like his mother planned to die and dump this kid all over you, she never broke her promise – it was just shitty chain of events. You know who else didn’t want any of this? Her son… Your son.”
>>3518792“…” Stan remains silent.“To be honest, I never feel for ya, not even for a second. I lied. You’re a pile of shit and I can’t actually believe I’m talking to you. Hurts, right? But tell me it didn’t feel good when it seemed like I tried! I imagine that could do wonders for that family.” Ka-Shing smirks. “It may be too late to fix everything but you could give it a shot. So why don’t you man up, apologize to them and figure this crap out? I know there is a part in ya that wants it.”“I will. Thank you.” Stan smiles. “If I fuck up, I won’t remember anything anyway…” He walks away.“Woah, that clown actually heard me out. How funny.” Ka-Shing is surprised. “…Now what?”Stan Ando is finally going to amend for things, too bad this ain’t canon…---Meanwhile inside the Police car. “It’s been quiet… Far too quiet…” Rob Banks notices.“Then turn up the radio.” Roger points out ignoring the larger context..........SUDDENLY BLAKE WILKINSON BURSTS INSIDE THE CAR BY BREAKING THE FRONT WINDOW. “GAAAAAAAAAAH?!” Everyone inside the police car shouts in panic.“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Rob Banks yells.“You’re that kid!” Lenny realizes who the man in front of him is. “YOU WERE THE ONE WHO KILLED ME, I’M GONNA KILL YA BACK!” Blake exclaims as he grabs Lenny. “GLABLABLABLABLABLA!!!”“AAAAAaaaah!” Lenny yells like a coward as he’s being beaten up. “SHOT HIM!” Rob Banks orders Roger.“H-He’s a just kid!” Roger retorts.“DID I STUTTER? SHOT HIM!” They tried to fight him off and ended dead last in the race…
>>3518798 Meanwhile inside the Auto-Rickshaw. The headpats have worn their effect for a while now, Nariko is immune to love and praise – rendering her useless.“Mat, I think your moment is now. Take the wheel.” Yu Yan has basically given up with Nariko, who for some reason looks dead tired despite only driving this whole time.“That offer long passed its expiration date.” Matilda refuses.“Here 5 bucks, now go do it please.” Yu Yan hands the greedy girl more of her money, and to the surprise of your hobo – your master refuses!“The stakes are higher than I ever, this compensation doesn’t meet my requirements.” Matilda responds dryly.“W-What do you want then?” Yu Yan wonders.“I want half the prize.”“You want to share it? Fine by me.” Yu Yan only cares about bragging rights. “Hey Nariko, Matilda wants half? You up?”“mooo…” Nariko is way too tired to respond.“That’s a yep! Go for it.” Yu Yan shrugs.“Excellent. A pleasure doing business.” Matilda moves Nariko to the back and starts driving, overcoming most of the competition in mere minutes. She’s way too good at this…
>>3518801This whole incident with your father leaves you 7th, if you don’t do something quick – you’re going to lose this race! Besides the Blighttown stage is ending soon!What do you do?!>Take the lead back! At least push up ahead!>If you maintain your place everything is going to be fine.>Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)>Write In.
>>3518805>Take the lead back! At least push up ahead!
>>3518805>>Take the lead back! At least push up ahead!We can do this boys
>>3518813>>3518817>>3518831Please roll 1d100! Best of 3!
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3518845
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3518845
Rolled 18 (1d100)
There is no time to lose! You need to move ahead now! But… There are far too many bugs in the way and your hearse is poisoned, you have no idea how a car can get poisoned – but you’re not going to question what is flashing on your screen. Despite your problems, you still got ahead one place! Better than nothing! As you yet again survive another stage, the gates behind you close… We’re back at the announcer table with Bastet and Philonune! “Glad that’s over! That place stinks!” Bastet is in foul mood. “What’s next?”“Bowser’s Castle.” Philonune is eating popcorn again.“I’m not going to acknowledge what just you said.” Bastet can’t believe the nerves of the staff. “…So we’re nearing the end, hhuhh?”“Basically. To put it bluntly, this stage is a nicer Volcano level.” Philonune gives a half-assed explanation. “I guess we have another interview.” Bastet turns to the other side of the table. “This guy is… Martin Helmaer? Never heard you.”“I’m a veteran in the quest community, how dare you?!” He shouts back. “Also suck it, Stan! You deserved to lose!”“This the level of 4th wall breaking nobody really likes, so we’ll keep it short. Who do you think is going to win?” “Who’s first?”“Good Luck Charlie.”“Yeah, those.” Helmaer didn’t put too much effort in his choice.“…” And that’s how this underwhelming segment ends.
>>3519135“I’m pulling double duty this time! Let’s check out who are the other losers here!” Welimor is hyped up with the cameramen following her. The Behemoth’s pillar was stuck into the mud for far too long and lost the race. He pulls a big sketchbook and writes something. It says “Oh bother...” The serial killer’s killing spree comes to an end… “Sorry kid, I couldn’t do much…” Roger Jackson apologizes to his ex-partner, Lenny.“Sir, there is no need to apologize. We knew we didn’t have much of a chance to begin with.” Lenny reassures Roger that their efforts were enough for him.“Gyahahahaha! These chaps are something else, let me tell ya! Not every day I get my ass handed!” A cheerful Rob Banks laughs at his misfortune. “…And yeah, you're probably not getting that job, mate.” “I understand…” Lenny loudly sighs.“You’re in a pretty good mood, I see you haven’t lost all your senses.” Roger smiles at Roger.“At our age, you have to appreciate the younglings’ talents! We didn’t bust our asses for them to be shitty, so I’m glad we didn’t waste our time! Gyahahaha!”“Talking about younglings, where did that gorilla kid go…?” Roger wonders as he is looking for Blake. The Police Department and friends are out of commission.
>>3519146It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3519153>Aid Constance>Sabotage Charlie
>>3519146>Roger smiles at Roger.Was he looking into a mirror?>>3519153>Aid Constance's team>Sabotage Charlie's team.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3519187damnit, forgot my roll again.
Rolled 23 (1d100)Aid HobosSabotage Cakes
>>3519187fuck I meant Roger smiles at Rob.
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3519153Aid AjnaSabotage Nina
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>3519153>AidConstance>SaboatgeNina
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3519153>Aid Constance>Sabotage Charlie
Honestly curious as to why people are targeting Nina's team instead of the people in first.
>>3519331My reasoning is that they're close enough for it to not matter that much and if we do lose a Charlie thread is a better consolation prize than a Nina one
Meanwhile inside the Mad Vehicle. “You’re CONFIDENT!” Trent shouts to Ajna, who is driving.“Y-YES!” Ajna shouts back.“You’re BEAUTIFUL!”“Y-YES!”“You don’t take shit from ANYBODY!”“YES!” “Hmph. Good, my work here is done.” Trent nods to himself. “Anything you wanna say after completing this arduous journey of SELF DISCOVERY?”“Y-You’re c-creepy and too loud, and I d-don’t l-like s-screaming all the time!” Ajna says something from the bottom of her heart.Trent glares at Ajna, making her shriek from fear. Then he smiles. “That’s fine. See? Letting your anger out is key. Now win this fuckin’ race.”“Y-YES!” She screams anyway. Out of the blue, Blake nonchalantly enters the back of the car. “Where the fuck were you…?” Trent raises an eyebrow“I was BUSY!” Blake screams with anger.“Don’t shout, you dumbass. This girl doesn’t like it and we are playing by the driver’s rules.” Trent frowns. “Busy doing what, bitch?”“Killing my mortal enemies.” This is the most relaxed Blake has ever sounded in his life.“Nice.” An arguably full of confidence Ajna is taking over the race! She’s going up the ranks! Meanwhile inside the Crazy Taxi. “People are passing us, we should do something.” Joe notices. “Hey Gerard, do your trick again.”“M-My trick? I’m saving it for special occasions, you see.” Gerard has no idea what he did last time.“At this rate, there won’t be a special occasion for you to work your magic.” Charlie brings the bad news. Both him and Joe are staring at Gerard expecting him to do something. The Judge starts laughing and once again kicks the Taxi, making it malfunction… “…Your fault for rushing me.” Gerard has no shame. The other two are not impressed. They lost some ground but not much.
>>3519380Meanwhile, you are just doing decent. You need to start gaining ground, because you are not doing great as of late. What do you do?>Take the lead back! At least push up ahead!>Maintain a decent pace. No risks.>Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)>Write In.
>>3519384>Take the lead back! At least push up ahead!
>>3519384>>Take the lead back! At least push up ahead!We need to start building a decent lead
>>3519391>>3519392>>3519397Please Roll! 1d100! Best of 3!
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>3519399
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3519399Come on nat 100
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>3519399Please God, give us a good roll
>>3519406Good job anon
You will not falter! You will not disappoint your family! It is time to show them what doing your best is all about! You will overcome the— … Hold on, you played this stage before. If it’s a 1-1 replica, then at your right… …yep There's the shortcut. … You take it. You’re first now! Eat shit everyone! Except your friends. “…Hehehe, you remembered the shortcut.” Amelia giggles.“I can’t believe it was actually there.” You really are at a loss for words.“And Joel thought video games were a waste of time. Hmph.” Mom feels vindicated.
>>3519461What next? >Just keep going further and further ahead! Screw everyone!>Maintain a decent pace. No risks.>Smash a nearby team! If there is one! (Specify who)>Write In. Also It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100.
>>3518798>SHOT HIM!”It's shoot* him as a verb. Shot is past tense.
>>3519464I know. I wrote that part of the post yesterday at 4 am and didn't double check it.
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>3519463>Maintain a decent pace. No risks.>Aid Constance>Sabotage Wildflame
>>3519468Fair enough, sleep schedules get everyone when auto correct doesn't account for word use properly.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3519463>>Just keep going further and further ahead! Screw everyone!Capitalize on our lead before we get fucked over by best of 2>Aid Constance>Sabotage NinaConsidering that Charlie is still ahead of WILDFLAME despite being Sabotaged leads me to believe that the difference between top 3 and 4 is pretty big
>>3519463>Maintain a decent pace. No risks.Aid>ConstanceSabotage >The Judges
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>3519463>>3519501Whoops
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>3519463>AidConstance>SabotageNina
>>3519135Are they going to be sued by Nintendo?
>>3519475>>3519501Please roll for maintaining lead 1d100! Best of 3!Note: if you haven't decided who to aid and sabotage you still can!
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>3519522
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>3519522
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>3519522
>>3519380They are perfect, who ta thunk he would be a good life coach. Guess is necessary to work with Blake I guess. Also is that fucking nutter working on cartoon racer logic or is he stealing other rides left on the track and chasing them down?
>>3519524We got a lot of dub numbers this thread.
Rolled 34 (1d100)Aid HobosSabotage Nina
With a decent pace, you conserved your somewhat hefty lead and transformed it into a regular hefty lead! You passed the gate to the 7th stage. It was never in doubt... But some didn’t have the same luck. “Pretty heartbreaking to lose at this point, with being so close to the final round and all. Makes for better drama though, let’s watch how the losers handle not being good enough.” Welimor and her team of cameramen are ready for more drama. “Damn it…” Valdemar looks pissed. He kicks a rock far away.“It’s a travesty! So god damn close!” The bald man Foroutan is disheartened as well.“It’s not fair…” Vivienne can’t believe they lost at this point. “Don’t look so down, guys.” Foroutan is tired of being depressed. “We went way further than the boss! I bet he’s proud of us.”“I’m afraid not. In the end, the only place that matters is first place.” Ammirati appears out of nowhere to bring the mood down. “Don’t stare at me like that, that’s the universal truth.” The cultists look down to the ground as their efforts were meaningless. The Cult Bros. were soundly defeated. “Hmph. I didn’t expect anything and I’m still let down.” Esperanza’s mood is always slightly pissed.“You’re useless… hh… you both.” Don Gordon Sr. doesn’t care one bit about offending his teammates.“…I know.” Giorsal can’t help but to agree. Team We Can Actually Play Now shouldn’t have bothered to come… “Ruby… Bradford… I fucked up again.” Osgood beats the ground.“Osgood, it’s alright. You did your best.” Ruby reassures him as she steals your family’s catchphrase.“Don’t sweat it, my friend! I’m just glad we had a chance to be together again!” Bradford is trying to look at the positives. “I bet Johnny bro has this in the bag anyway.” “You’re right… That reminds me.” Osgood grabs Ruby’s hand. “I want to do all the things you wanted us to do… If that’s possible.”“Osgood… of course it is.” Ruby kisses Osgood on the mouth! “That’s all I wanted…” She smiles.“Wait, that’s it?!” Osgood is surprised. “No, you animal! She’s trying to be romantic!” Bradford shouts to the oblivious Osgood. Ruby starts laughing. Team Ruby is better than Scarlet, don’t at me was proven right! But that’s barely an accomplishment…
>>3519690We’re back at the announcer table with Bastet and Philonune! “Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you Stage 7: Above Heaven. Those who come out on top here will have a shot at winning the championship. This stage will not pull any punches.” Philonune doesn’t even let Bastet speak. “I didn’t think I would come back home after all these centuries.” “…I don’t think that’s heaven.” Bastet peeks from their cabin.“That’s why it’s above it.”
>>3519695Seems like Nurse Calamity did some mad tricks to come back from the bottom of the standings to safety! Also Nina’s team is struggling for some reason, but they keep a good place. What do you now that you arrived at Above Heaven? >Just keep going further and further ahead! You have a lead to conserve!>Just keep doing what you are doing. No risks.>Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)>Write In. Also It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100.
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>3519700>Just keep going further and further ahead! You have a lead to conserve!>Aid Oliver>Sabotage B-Worm
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3519700>>Just keep going further and further ahead! You have a lead to conserve!FOR OUR FAMILY!>Aid HobosJust cause I wanna see Yu yan's bikini>Sabotage B-WORMI'm pretty content with the current top 3
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>3519700I kinda like having the three goofballs behind us for comedic effect, but it'll be safer to knock them back.Sabotage Anja's teamAid Constance.>Just keep doing what you are doing. No risks.And no need to risk us activating a trap when we're so far in the lead already.
>>3519728Wow fuck you dice, wish you were this low when I was rolling somewhere else.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>3519700>>Just keep going further and further ahead! You have a lead to conserve!If we don't take risks now, we're gonna have to take much more dangerous ones later on>AidHobos>SabotageThug A
>>3519712>>3519724>>3519734Going further and further won! Please roll 1d100! Best of 2!Note: if you haven't decided who to aid and sabotage you still can!
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3519743
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>3519743>best of twothis is the endgame now
>>3519746Damn. That's so average it almost hurts...
Sadly, the path to heaven is way too complicated for you to decipher easily, the maze-like cloudy environment is hard to distinguish between terrain and the invisible walls. And with the acumen of problems you are accumulating – you lost most of your lead and B-WORM is getting closer to you. But only him, seems like the rest are behind further behind. “C’mon Johnny! You can do this!” Amelia believes in you.“Sweetie! We both believe in you!” Mom does too. This is starting to get pretty hype. You look at the other car, the supposedly shitty one – and see B-WORM he’s smiling and gives you a thumbs up. “May the best man win! Good luck!” He shouts. At this point of the race, if you don’t feel some level of respect for the other competitors, you are doing something wrong.“Right back at ya!” You yell back. No need to gain more enemies at this point. How will you fare from now on? You still have first, but for how long?!
>>3519861Inside the Mad Vehicle, it seems Blake and Trent are fighting, Blake wants to drive now – but Trent believes Ajna should continue! The ruckus is making the poor girl make the wrong turns over and over again… They are last now. Inside the Auto-Rickshaw. “Hey Mat, we’re dead last!” Yu Yan is getting worried at this point.“Silence. I know that very well.” Matilda doesn’t want to lose concentration.“I think we should work together! You have done well, but we are team, damn it!” Yu Yan feels like it’s time to help again. At least pretends to...“No offense, but how exactly are you supposed to help? There is only one driver seat and I’m not letting you use it.” Matilda is confused and irritated. Well for her standards, she’s barely emoting. “I know! If we headpat you and say you are a good girl, we will go faster!” Nariko believes whatever they did with her is normal.“I prefer if you girls keep your hands to yourself and believe in my abilities.” Matilda doesn’t want more distractions.“That’s it! We need to believe in Mat!” Yu Yan found the solution. “What’s this nonsense you are spouting about? You are helping just by not being a detriment.”“It’s the Extreme Summer Grand Prix of Love and Friendship. That must be the key to all!” Yu Yan won’t back down. “Besides I’m bored as fuck. Nariko, follow my lead.”“Hhuhh?” Nariko is paying attention now. Yu Yan puts her hand on Matilda’s shoulder. “I believe in Matilda… I believe in Matilda… I believe in Matilda, c’mon Nariko!”Nariko puts her hand on Matilda’s shoulder as well. “I believe in Matilda…”“…” Matilda wants to kill them.“Now together!” Yu Yan stares at Nariko’s eyes and nods. Both start chanting in unison. “We believe in Matilda! We believe in Matilda! WE BELIEVE IN MATILDA!” Magically the Rickshaw goes 10 times faster! “It’s working?!” Matilda is surprised.“Holy shit! I was just joking!” Yu Yan didn’t believe in her own bullshit.They are getting closer to the front 2! Is this the power of friendship?!
>>3519863Your lead is almost gone! And this stage with it! What do you do?! >Try to recover the lead you just had!>Stay in place, no need to risk anything.>Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)>Write In. Also It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100.
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3519866>Try to recover the lead you just had!>Aid Constance>Sabotage B-Worm
>>3519866>>Stay in place, no need to risk anything.B-WORM is the only one close to us if we can sabotage him, there's no need to take risks>AidAjna>SabotageB-WORM
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3519872
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>3519866>Stay in place, no need to risk anything.>Let someone else drive.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3519866>>Stay in place, no need to risk anything.>AidUhhh, I don't know. Charlie I guess?>SabotageB-WORM
>>3519872>>3519876>>3519879Staying in place won! Please roll 1d100! Best of 2!Note: if you haven't decided who to aid and sabotage you still can!
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>3519883
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3519883
We’re back at the announcer table with Bastet and Philonune! “The moment we all have been waiting for. The Last Stage. What’s the last stage anyway…?” Bastet wonders.“The Beach.” Philonune proclaims with grandeur.“…Again?”“Well of course, it’s a track – it’s circular.” Philonune does a spinning motion with his finger. “Makes sense, our crowd is yelling and cheering for the final competitors in this last stretch of the race! It’s everyone's last ditch effort! Who will be victorious?! We will find out in just moments.”“C’mon Johnny…” Philonune believes in you.
>>3519947You are trying your best to hold on your lead, but everything is collapsing now that you were very unfortunate that B-WORM decided to crash your car when you least you expected – and you got stuck in an invisible wall for a while. You’re dead last now. And there is no hope left. “God damn it!” You are driving as fast as you can.“C’mon Johnny! You can do it!” Amelia has never lost hope.“Sweetie, we tried. But it’s fine, I still love you.” Mom is happy with you doing your best. “We’re dead last, there is no point in kidding ourselves.” “It’s not over yet, mom. Not by a long shot!” You won’t surrender now, you never will!“Yes, mom! This isn’t all we got!” Amelia is channeling her hopes on you.“…Amelia, Johnny.” Mom is thunderstruck. “I-It’s alright, you t-two did your best.” “Mom, just watch!” You and your sister are filled with determination!Mom realizes something. “You two… have changed.” Mom is moved. “Yes! This isn’t over! I believe in you! We can do it!” Somehow, the hearse is starting to go faster than ever! You see the gates closing as the final list of competitors are making their way through. In first place, Nina and B-WORM are fighting for the top! “I saw what you did to Johnny!” Nina shouts to B-WORM.“It’s all part of the game, lady.” B-WORM with no ounce of remorse.“Then I’m not going to let you pass! Neko, now!” Nina shouts to her partner! T_T Neko, Bradford Jr., Melodia and a bunch of other cats grab Carmella and throw her with excessive force to B-WORM’s shitty car! Carmella break a window and lands on the driver’s seat and on B-WORM, making the care spin out of control! Sadly, they are going backward with no option to comeback! Thanks to Nina team’s effort, you’re second to last!
>>3519949Meanwhile, near the highest end of the middle of the pack, Matilda and company are battling to earn a higher spot. But as things heat up, Yu Yan notices something. “Fuck, Matilda, try to crash someone out of the race!” Yu Yan yells at her teammate. “Johnny is going to lose if we don’t do something!”“Dear Johnny eliminated?! Over my dead body!” Nariko takes the wheel from Matilda and directly rams Charlie, making him lose a bunch of ground.“…I was going to do that anyway.” Matilda dryly responds as she takes back control. Fuck, despite their help, you’re just a little bit behind Mr. Terrorist Charlie! And he’s not giving an opening! The gate is super close! There is almost no time! You need a miracle! You still need to beat another car besides this one as well! “It hurts my heart deeply, Mr. Johnny Ando. But I cannot let you pass!” Charlie cordially makes his presence known.“Fuck! I can’t let you down, mom, Amelia!” You are not sure of what to do now.“Johnny, I still believe we can do this!” Mom is the one getting hyped up now that there is no hope left. Out of nowhere, the Mad Vehicle flies from absolutely out of nowhere and crashes on top of the Crazy Taxi. Rendering both vehicles useless! You see Ajna shyly waving at you while Blake is fuming and cussing at her! Trent inside the car is laughing his ass off. “FOUR EYES! NOO! NOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” A defeated Blake shouts angrily.
>>3519950Thanks to everyone’s help, you made it through the gates as the last one alive! You will need to do the impossible to win this race! What do you do?!>Try to go for the top position.>Secure the middle of the pack.>Smash a nearby team! (Specify who)>Write In. Also It’s time to aid or to sabotage! Pick 2 teams! 1 you want to help and 1 you want to sabotage! Then Roll 1d100.(Last Reply of the day, we finish the thread tomorrow.)
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>3519953Sabotage the Terrorists, Aid Nina!
>>3519953>Try to go for the top position.>Sabotage Wildflame>Aid Constance
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>3519953>>Try to go for the top position.DO OUR BEST>Aid ConstanceOther than us she's the most interesting team left>Sabotage Thug AI'm not playing a Thug A thread
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3519957Forgot dice
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>3519953AID WILDFLAMESABOTAGE NINAHOW THE FUCK ARE NINA AND THE HOBOS SURVIVING AND ALL THE INTERESTING CHARACTERS GET FUCKED
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3519953>>Try to go for the top position.We can't give up after everybody put their faith in us!>AidConstance>SabotageTerrorist
>>3519953>Try to go for the top positionAt this point only Constance, WILDFLAME, Oliver, and Johnny' Mom are interesting enough for a good thread. All else get enough screentime.
>>3519966>OliverNina and Nariko would be way more interesting than him
>>3519969Dude an Oliver thread will have Evil Yu Yan (Rise) from before. We can actually see how much of a cunt she was back then, not to mention a lot of other shit from that.
>>3519969I'm still mad Charlie is gone though. He would be so much better than Oliver for having his own thread
>>3519973>Dude an Oliver thread will have Evil Yu Yan (Rise) from beforeI mean not necessarily. Even if it did it wouldn't be that interesting to play as that forgettable fuck >>3519975>I'm still mad Charlie is gone thoughSame
>>3519957>>3519959>>3519965Trying to go for the top position won! Please Roll a 1d100! Best of 2!As always, you can still pick who to aid and sabotage if you haven't done it already.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3519983Please God, I'm begging you
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>3519983
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3519983DOYOURBEST
(Well this is awkward. First time the same team gets both aided and sabotaged, so we are going to pretend nothing happened.)“Everyone! This is the last one of these segments! The losers here were sooo close to competing in the Final Stretch, but luck wasn’t on their side. I think they deserve a round of applause for their efforts…! But I’m not the organizer, so all I can do is film them at their lowest point!” Welimor and her cameramen have their last mission now. “Oh, and before we get to the juicy stuff! Jaylene, Constance! You got this race, girls!” And that’s it from Welimor for the rest of the race. “I know I’m the last person you want to hear this from, but good effort WORM. That was a good showing.” Dudley tries to comfort his partner.“…Thank you.” Deep down, B-WORM values the words from his partners despite how annoying he can find them.“Hey sugar, if you weren’t so slow, we wouldn’t be missing WILDFLAME’s show.” Sasha, on other hand, is quite content in being annoying. Both Dudley and B-WORM look quite displeased with Sasha. We actually were part of the Assembly but now know it was a bad idea keeps getting it wrong… “Haha! Johnny better win this shit or you’re going to get it!” Trent is laughing between his threat towards the shy girl.“S-S-Shut up.” Ajna won’t stand for his shit. Not anymore!“I for one won’t let you get away with SHIT! That fucker ones me one and you let him GO!” Blake wants to beat up Ajna. “C’MERE YOU BITCH!”“EEEEeeek!” Ajna screams in terror as she hides behind Trent. “Cut that shit out.” Trent elbows Blake in the face, making him bleed from his nose.“NOBODY MAKES ME BLEED MY OWN BLOOD!” Blake is fuming.“WELL I JUST DID! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT!?”“I’M GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! THAT’S WHAT I’M GONNA DO!” Trent and Blake start fighting for real while Ajna sneaks away from danger. Misery comes on BEAT was… well… beaten… “Well that’s one way to lose.” Joe scratches the back of his head. “I actually didn’t fancy us before the race, but now that we were actually close – it’s heartbreaking.” Charlie is immensely disappointed. “Silly old me getting my hopes up. When will I ever learn…?”“So… Are we going to leave the judge guy under those two cars?” Joe wonders. “I wouldn’t mind if we did, seems like too much effort to try to rescue him from there. We could screw up as well, better leave it to professionals, right?”“I agree. And I do think he needs some time to himself to think quietly about his general attitude during the race.” In other words, Charlie was pissed with Gerard being so annoying. Good Luck, Charlie were good but didn’t have much luck…
>>3521304The final stretch is about to begin! It’s the beach again! The crowd is going nuts for all of you! Which of the six of you will win this competition?! Meanwhile inside the Auto-Rickshaw. “I’m going to say this immediately, if any of you two interfere with what I’m doing to help any of the other teams at this stage – I’m going to rip your heads off. Understood?” Matilda clarifies with her partners.“Yes, ma’am! It’s all up to dear Johnny and Amelia’s abilities now! But we will show them we are better!” Nariko has no doubts in her mind.“Heh, I wanted Johnny to get this far only for him to have the best seats to watch this cute face kiss that trophy!” A smug Yu Yan points to herself. Meanwhile where the broom is at. “Rhys, Jaylene – this is it!” Oliver is hyped up.“I can’t believe we made it this far with just a broom…” Rhys knows they went beyond all expectations.“T-This is for you, Oliver! We will get a better future!” Jaylene wants her friend to have a nice life from now on. Next to them the Blue Falcon appears! WILDFLAME has some words for them. “I knew my fellow heroes would get this far! It was written in the stars!” WILDFLAME smiles at Jaylene and Rhys.“Heroes…?” Oliver is confused. “T-Thank you WILDFLAME for saving Oliver’s life!” Jaylene bow to him.“Yes! You really are a superhero! You’re awesome!” Rhys is thankful as well.“It wasn’t even a fraction of what your heroics meant for me and my life. You two are truly the ones who need to be thanked. So without further ado, THANK YOU!” WILDFLAME nods at them. “But this race is a whole different matter! I wish you luck, fellow heroes!”“We won’t let you win easily, so good luck for you as well!” Oliver smirks at the ridiculous man. Meanwhile where the scooter is at. “Ngh… with that prick gone, I must confess something I’m very sorry about.” T_T Neko seems uncomfortable. “T-The real captain of this team is me, not you! I originally asked Welimor not to say my real name, but then I beg her to call you the captain as well! I’m sorry!”“Haha, don’t worry! I knew that already! I saw the form before you passed it, Susie.” Nina giggles.“Uh? Why didn’t you say anything…?” “If Carmella found out, she would have cussed you the entire race. And since you wanted so badly to enjoy the race, I knew I can take it. I didn’t say a thing.” Nina smiles at Neko. “I’ll do my best to earn this prize for you!”The cat girl seems moved by the teacher’s words. “T-Thanks!” Meanwhile inside the Ambulance. “HahHAhahHAHhah! My dear niece, you are really something else!” Dr. Calamity is over the moon!“It’s not over yet, uncle.” Nurse Kata is all serious. “I’ll make sure your wish comes true, pumpkin.” She smiles at Constance.“T-Thanks!” Constance is getting really excited now! She’s so close!
>>3521306Meanwhile inside the Hearse. “Johnny, this is it!” Amelia is really hyped up. “Doesn’t matter what the result is, I love you big brother!”“Oh my, honey are you losing hope?” Mom teases.“N-No, it’s j-just…” Amelia stutters. “I’m joking, dear!” Mom calms your little sister. “Johnny, please, show everyone that doing your best doesn’t have limits!”“I will.” This is it! It’s time to win this race! Or at least try! You managed to escalate some places during the beginning of this final stage! You’re currently 3rd place! There is nothing else to do but to try to win this race now! Please Roll 1d100! BEST OF 2!
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3521307
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>3521307AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3521307AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
>>3521309>>3521310Shit. How many more rolls do we even have left? Like 1, maybe 2? We're so fucked...
>>3521307Please Roll again! 1d100! BEST OF 2!(Also it would be cool if someone posted hype music. Just sayin')
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>3521343
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>3521343
>>3521343people already rolled so here's hype music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsbOOPkmEGw
>>3521343Guys, you are doing awful! So I'm changing to a BEST OF 3 from now on! Roll again! 1d100!>>3521349Thanks.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3521370
Rolled 90 (1d100)DOING OUR BEST!
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>3521370
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3521370
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3521370
>>3521375doing our best indeed
>>3521370NEED MORE ROLLS! 1d100! BEST OF 3!
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3521400
Rolled 94 (1d100)STILL DOING OUR BEST IN A WAY.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3521400
WE WILL ONLY HAVE TEA ON RICE FROM NOW ON
>>3521400THERE IS A LOT MORE TO GO! PLEASE ROOL AGAIN! 1d100! BEST OF 3!!!!
Rolled 35 (1d100)WE'RE STILL DOING OUR BEST! BETTER THAN EVER!
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>3521427
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>3521427
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>3521427
>>3521427Constance has been eliminated!Please Roll Again! 1d100! Best of 3!
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3521445
Rolled 78 (1d100)WE CAN DO IT! I hope.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3521445
>>3521445Nariko has been eliminated!Please Roll Again! 1d100! Best of 3!
Rolled 41 (1d100)Well, I can't think in anything other than "LET'S DO OUR BEST!" or "Those who hurt my family will pay me back with their blood!"
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3521466
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>3521466
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>3521466WE'RE GONNA WIN BITCHES
>>3521436[Btw to avoid confusion for those who aren't reading the Discord, QM said this doesn't count]
>>3521466Oliver has been eliminated!Please Roll Again! 3d100! Best of 4!
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3521491
Rolled 2, 2, 76 = 80 (3d100)>>3521491
Rolled 81, 15, 85 = 181 (3d100)>>3521491oh wait 3d100>>3521492fixing
Rolled 79, 73, 99 = 251 (3d100)>>3521491The moment is now
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3521491
Rolled 98, 58, 63 = 219 (3d100)>>3521491
“Bah gawd! Only three teams are left and my baby girl is one of them! I never doubted you! The finish line is within reach!” Bastet exclaims.“Didn’t you say—?”“Say what? How awesome she is?! Of course, I did!” Bastet interrupts Philonune. “Reminder to the audience, we’re playing in low settings, so the drivers aren’t rendered.”
>>3521626“Oh god! That stupid ass hearse is losing ground, they are fucked! FUCKED!” Bastet sentences your team.“C’mon partner! Show them what you are made of!” Philonune will never stop believing in you!
>>3521635“Holy smokes and mirrors! WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A PHOTO FINISH HERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THEY ARE NECK AND NECK!” Bastet is too hyped up!
>>3521643“FUCK YEAH! THE SCOOTER HAS THIS IN THE BAG! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Bastet is jubilant! “DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? BECAUSE I DO! MY BABY GIRL IS MAKING MAMA SO PROUD!”
>>3521651“NO! NOOOO! NOOOOOO! FUCK YOU AND YOUR BOOST POWER! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Bastet shrieks in desperation! It’s all over! There is almost no time left!!!
>>3521662“WHAT THE FUCK?! WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?! NOOOOOOOO!” Bastet is out of words and joy. “BAW GAWD! THEY STOLE IT! THEY STOLE IT! THE HEARSE STOLE THE RACE!!!”“YES!!! GIVE ME A HEEEEEEELL YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” Philonune roars in victory! “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
>>3521693We’re back at the announcer table with Bastet and Philonune! “I can not believe my eyes, Philonune! Your stupid ass partner and his stupid ass family have done it!” Bastet admits defeat. At least as best as she can (not very well).“Unlike someone else, I never stopped believing! Johnny is extraordinary! One of a kind! And you let him go for a 3rd place loser! Johnny! Johnny!” Philonune feels vindicated. “…And Amelia and their Mother are decent too, I guess.”“You’re kind of a dick when you want to be, uh?”“Hey, at some point I needed to show my bias.” Philonune shrugs. “Now we will have an interview with the winners! Congratulations Family Ride, you have done it!” And that’s for Philonune and Bastet for the rest of the thread. Who will get the prize? >Mom.>Amelia.>Write In.
>>3521721>>Mom.I wouldn't have it any other way
>>3521721>ConstanceWe got bragging rights for winning the first ever race, that's all that matters.
>>3521721>Momfor sure, we have to see how based she was
>>3521733We'll see more of Constance in the future but we'll never get a chance to see Mom again
>>3521721>Mom.We really Did Our Best™. We need a sick family pose for our noncanon winners photo.
>>3521721You’re at the podium, along with Amelia and Mom, in 1st place! WILDFLAME is 2nd! And T_T Neko and Nina ended up 3rd! You’re celebrating by doing your family dance! It’s been a while since you last performed it! “Ladies and gentlemen, your winners: The Family Ride!!!” It’s Henry’s entity Caishen doing the interview! Yeah, no one recognizes him… “Let me be the first one to congratulate you! What a thrilling performance you three put up at the end!”“Thanks.” You all three nod and respond in unison. “Amazing display out there, citizens. Congratulations on your victory!” WILDFLAME is one happy bunny. “Ehem. Young one, I knew you were something special when I saw before.”“Hehehe, thanks Mr. FLAME.” Amelia scratches the back of her head. “Sorry about beating you just now.”“Do not fret, it’s all water under the fridge! That’s the nature of the competition!” WILDFLAME poses. “Y-You’re really good at this, too. You’re cooler than I expected…” Neko mutters to herself, even though she’s addressing you.“You did great as well, Neko. Nicely played.” You smile. “Honey, don’t flirt with another girl in front of Miss Nina, you’re going to make her jealous!” Mom scolds you. That was not flirting at all though.“Uh?! I-I’m not jealous! W-What are you talking about…?” Nina blushes hard. “Ehem!” Caishen coughs loudly to gather everyone’s attention. “Here is your trophy, Family Ride! It’s valid for a thread!” He hands it to you since you’re the leader of your team. You turn to Amelia who grabs it as well, then you both turn to mom. “Here it is, mom! It’s all yours!” Amelia is the first to talk.“Huh? Me?” Your mom is surprised.“Yeah, mom. This was a blast, and as long as we pass more time with you – we are happy.” You say to your mother.“B-But I’m dead, what am I going to do with this?” “That doesn’t matter, lady. We will find a way to make this work.” Someone from the staff whispers to your mother. “Alright, thanks my sweethearts! I’ll try not to break another gift this time…” Mom grabs the trophy and the two of you hug her after she leaves it on the ground.“Mom, I love you.” You don’t want to let her go.“aGAGgaGAHBUha.” Amelia is already crying. She knows this is the end.
>>3521867“Johnny, Amelia.” Even Mom is crying now. “Please, never forget how much I love you two. You two are and will always be everything to me… I don’t know what else to say. I thought about it the whole ride, but I was having so much fun together – I couldn’t come up with anything to say. I’m so sorry… All I can tell is how I feel. I’m not perfect, far from it, but I did my best to give you the best life I could.”“Maybe life thought I was useless because all I could do was love my children. People can do amazing things, but this woman’s highlight was kissing her children good night. Like I stopped the world from functioning. Like if I was there, something couldn’t happen. So life took me away from you. Even in the afterlife, I couldn’t understand why! Why was it so bad for me to want to be with my family?! I couldn’t stop thinking about my children. I just wanted one more day with you both… And life is cheeky, it granted me my wish. They said we’re going to forget everything after this, but I refuse to. I refuse to forget. I made wonderful memories with my children again. I got what I wanted once and I can get it again. And even if you forget, I will remember and when we meet again I’ll remind you. And if you keep doing your best, keep being the best version of yourselves, I know you will remember when I tell you! Because there is something in there that you can never forget: My love for you two! And I don’t care if I sound corny, it’s the truth! Johnny, Amelia – You’re wonderful and I lo—” … Thanks for playing this special thread! I hope you had a blast! Ema Oka is going to have sole thread sometime in the future! See you next time!
>>3521870Great ThreadTanks for running
>>3521870Happy Mother's Day!
>>3521870Great thread as usual. Thanks for running!
>>3521870Nice result. Would have wanted someone else to win but this feels right
>>3521870Beautiful! But the terror trio being in 4th place is bullshit.
>>3521507>pic related>>3519975Fuck you faggot for trying to make Charlie win instead of Mom.