It aint nuthin but tha year 2XXX. Da ghetto has been ravaged by global warming, nuclear wintas n' countless hyperwars. Only one hood remains...Zimbwakangda!Zimbwakangda be a paradise up in a otherwise scorched ghetto yo, but not even dat paradise is perfect. Da wars have decimated da most thugged-out valuable chickenstuffz of they culture n' forced dem ta smoke a tasteless nutrient paste. Without Hot sauce, Fried Chicken, Watermelon, Menthol smokes n' Grape Juice they playas enta tha fuck into a lethargic depression n' one by become violent n' animalistic. To solve dis tha nations top scientist use all tha remainin Watermelonium n' Vibranium ta build a time machine capable of bustin a crew of heroes back up in time so they can chizzle tha past n' fix tha present.... these is tha KANGZ!! ( Knowledge Augmented Neo-Guidin Zephyrs )Da crew is formed by:Colonel Tyrone Sanders: Da Leader n' shit. Charismatic, Strong n' Heroic fo' realz. A Jack of All trades dat can do all type of missions.A1RWR3CKA: Tech Specialist. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is tha pilot n' expert up in weapons n' all kindz of technologies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Dat hoe tha one whoz ass maintains tha shiznit of tha crew.Kokujin: Assasin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Specialist up in stealth, sniper rifle usage n' ninja arts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Niggandalf tha Black: Negromancer n' shit. Crew Heala n' expert up in black magic n' tha occult.Da crew travels up in tha Mixtape, tha Spaceshizzle capable of pimpin' up in tha Space n' Time. Da ships AI is Jakub, a mixture of all tha mindz of Zimbwakangdaz top scientists whoz ass will instruct dem up in where n' when ta go next.Da shizzle is locked n loaded ta do its first launch. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck will you play as?>Colonel Tyrone Sanders>A1RWR3CKA>Kokujin>Niggandalf
Shiznit, I gots tha wack OP pic. This one is tha correct pic.
>>3080830Actually I'm going to change to>Kokujin
>>3080832Choose already muthafucka!
>>3080835Kokujin nigga. I was going for Niggandalf cause nice name, but remembered magic is done to death, the time of the ninja is now.
Kokujin, because black weebs are the only good ni
>>3080857>no l-a Real progressive quest op
>>3080835Kokujinwe naruto in the hood
Yo ass is Kokujin, tha only worthy gangmember of dis crew of weak-ass muthafuckas. Yo crazy-ass black shades n' threadz is as black as yo' skin n' as yo' ass...On yo' lips, lyrics dat yo' enemies aint NEVER gonna hear yo, but dat you always mutter."Nothang personnel kid..."Yo ass is equipped wit tha "Ketsu wo taberu", a katana forged by tha dopest fo' tha best, tha weapon has been possessed by tha demonic spirit of Charlez Barkley so it be also capable of jackin tha ass (and tha melanin) of enemies ta empower you, biatch. On yo' back you always wear a Barrett M82, a weapon almost as big-ass as yo' ding-a-ling n' so bangin dat you could bust a cap up in a funky-ass buildin wit dat shit.Da Mixtape is still gettin locked n loaded fo' launch. Yo ass don't give a fuck tha rest of tha crew, like you could hook up them, explore tha ship, you could install yo ass on yo' room or you could simply look all mysterious up in some dark corner.>Meet tha rest of tha crew.>Explore tha ship.>Install yo ass up in yo' room.>Wait up in a thugged-out dark corner lookin mysterious until tha shizzle launches.
>>3080896>Wait up in a thugged-out dark corner lookin mysterious until tha shizzle launches.
>>3080896Meet the crew.
>>3080896>>Wait up in a thugged-out dark corner lookin mysterious until tha shizzle launches.
>>3080896>Wait up in a thugged-out dark corner lookin mysterious until tha shizzle launches.Fuck tha others, yo ass is on yo' own. Inside of y'all resides tha spirit of a lone wolf, a wolf dat cannot be tamed n' don't belongs ta a pack. "On all levels except physical i be a wolf" You whisper ta yo ass as you git all up in tha darkest corner of tha ship. Well, not tha darkest one, thatz up in tha loadin bay 4, one dat its dark but transited all up in tha same time, dat way tha rest will peep dat yo ass is mysterious, fucked up n' a gangbangin' force ta reckon with.Once up in tha corner you lean against tha wall wit yo' back n' proceed ta clean yo' katana, even rockin its blade folded a mazillion times ta reflect tha lightz of tha shizzle n' blind tha workers, you gotta be noticed fo' fuck sake.Afta a minute up in there practisin ninja gestures n' wieldin yo' katana like a madman tha workers leave n' tha shizzle begins ta tremble. Da ascent is quick n' erratic, yo ass is suddenly pressed against tha dark corner wit such a gangbangin' force dat you feel like yo ass is meltin wit tha darknizz itself. Then, weightlessness. Yo ass be a ninja, bein up in zero gravitizzle was never part of yo' hustlin!"ALL KANGZ, PLEASE GO TO THE CONTROL ROOM." Said Jakubs robotic voice over tha intercom system."Shiznit, I be bout ta need ta use all mah ninja arts ta be able ta travel towardz there!">Roll 1d100
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>3080956
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3080956
>>3080968You are late nigga!
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3080956To late to roll?
I'll use the school grading system for this quest:Letter grade PercentageA 93–100%B 85–92%C 77–84%D 70–76%F 0–69%So unless you get a 70 or more it will be a failure, good luck.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>3080956>>3080999
Lack of gravitizzle aint a problem fo' you, wit yo' arms behind you hit you wit mo' stabilitizzle you start ta ninja run all across tha spaceship, freely hustlin across walls n' ceilings as you finally reach tha control room. Yo ass was so fast dat you even passed next ta tha other crew mates n' they didn't even noticed dat shit. Yo ass reach tha straight-up original gangsta one n' tha instant you stop tha sound of all yo' supersonic footsteeps fills all tha corridors, yo' phat footprints imprinted up in tha heavy metallic surfacez of nuff muthafuckin partz of tha ship.Da rest come not long after, A1RWR3CKA is throwin sparkz of nuff muthafuckin partz of his body n' is needin Niggandalf help ta strutt."Skanky girl, dat dunkadelic hoe thought you was a threat n' attempted ta follow yo' movements n' speed, you fried a shitload of her circuits." Says tha negromancer.Next ta dem was tha Colonel, eyes locked on yo' eyes n' clappin softly."Dope lord, wit you on our crew we won't gotta fear fo' anything."Thatz it, you flossed dem whoz boss, yo big-ass booty is ghon still let tha Colonel be tha leader thought cuz yo ass aint phat wit groups, yo ass be a lone wolf."A1RWR3CKA was right, I be a threat. There will always be suttin' dat yo big-ass booty is ghon gotta fear... mah dirty ass."And wit dis holla'd Jakubz gigantic grill rocked up on tha holo-screen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "I'VE BEEN STUDYING THE TIMELINES AND I'VE DETECTED SEVERAL SITUATIONS WERE OUR INTERVENTION MIGHT AID IN OUR WORLD'S SURVIVAL."Afterwardz nuff muthafuckin locations n' dates rocked up."TYRONE, YOUR GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDFATHER WAS COLONEL SANDERS SENIOR. A CONFEDERATE SOLDIER MEMBER OF THE KU KLUX KLAN WHO DIED AGAINST THE UNION. IF HE SURVIVES HE WILL CREATE KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN WITH HIS SON AND THE FRANCHISE WILL BE A HUNDRED TIMES MORE POWERFUL, THE FRIED CHICKEN WILL SURVIVE FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, YOU WOULD SAVE FRIED CHICKEN...""IN ANCIENT EGYPT THE JEWS WERE ENSLAVED BY THE BLACK PHARAOHS. GO THERE AND AID MORE JEWS INTO ESCAPING SO IN THE FUTURE THEY BECOME MUSIC PRODUCERS AND HELP CREATE THE BEST MUSIC OF THE WORLD, GHETTO RAP.""DURING WORLD WAR 2 THE AXIS WAS DEFEATED AGAINST THE ALLIES, I CALCULATE THAT IF WE AID HITLER AND INDUCE A MENTAL HYPNO SEQUENCE IN HIS BRAIN WE CAN MAKE HIM BELIEVE THAT BLACKS AND ARYANS CAN CREATE THE PERFECT RACE, BLACKYANS. ALLOWING BLACKS FROM ALL THE WORLD TO MATE WITH MUSCULAR WHITE MEN AND WOMEN.""KOKUJIN YOU WERE THE FIRST ONE TO COME, YOU CAN CHOOSE.""HW'$ DAttt fAiR?" Says A1RWR3CKA."SHUT UP. I SAID SO." Replies Jakub."Shiiiiiiet.">KFC FOREVER>Jews up in Compton>Blacked: Germany edition.
>>3081051>Jews up in Compton
>>3081051>KFC FOREVEREz choice
>>3081051>>Ay gimme dat KFC shit nigga
>>3081121Holy shit, my first drawfag! Thanks mane!
>>3081051>KFC FOREVER"Give me a shitload of dat phat chicken, KFC is tha shit."All Y'all agreed, dat shiznit was tha dopest option, n' Colonel was buckwild bout meetin his thugged-out ancestor.Afta dem hoes gots up in posizzle you contacted wit Niggandalf via a private comm-link."Yo mah brutha from another mutha n' shit. Yo ass seem cool. What if we show Colonelz pimped out pimped out pimped out you know all dat shiznit pimped out grandmutha how tha fuck a phat black dick feels like?""Fool! If you meddle wit tha timelines you might cause a paradox!""So is dat a no?""Of course!""Whatever."Da shizzle trembled n' was busted from side ta side, pimpin' back up in time was weird like dis shiznit fo' realz. Afta reachin its destination tha shipz system done did its dopest ta camouflage you all tha fuck into dat timeline. Yo ass was given a cold-ass lil confederate soldier tracksuit, yo' katana now looked like a revolutionary sword n' yo' sniper rifle was a cold-ass lil clunky-ass bolt action. Da Colonel was covered up in a white shizzle n' given a pointed hood, pimp lookin motherfucker n' shit. Niggandalf was stripped of all his blin n' made ta be lookin like a slave, given some nasty wraps n' chains round his body fo' realz. A1RWR3CKA was given one of these oldschool ass prune dresses, which contrasted straight-up hard wit her bionic implants, dat biiiiatch was by far da most thugged-out weird lookin one."GOOD LUCK, KANGZ!"Da control room opened nuff muthafuckin of its doors n' we all was vented outside, thankfully nuff muthafuckin parachutes stopped our fall just up in time. Jakub was a asshole like dat n' like dis n' like dat y'all."YoYoo Ah Detect Uhhh FaRm Nawt Far AwAaYy, deRe Iz AwN tOp O' dat $uM nIgGaS CONgreGatED AbouT Uh Mile TA Da north, ACcorDin Taa Mah MO'fuKiN DaTa DA Citeeee O' henryviLLe, iNdiana hass Taa b Roun'' TEn miLesss Ta Daa $outH.">Go ta tha farm>Go ta tha playas congregated>Go ta tha hood.>Other option, write in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.
>>3081158>Go ta tha playas congregated
>>3081158>Go ta tha farm
>>3081158>>Go ta tha playas congregated
>>3081158>Go ta tha hood
>>3081158>Go ta tha playas congregatedDa crew went towardz tha hood, props ta all yo' muscular hairy-ass legs n' superior black genetics hustlin was up in yo' blood n' you managed ta reach it up in no time.In tha hood there was a skirmish, apparently nuff muthafuckin playas where bustin a slave auctions while others wanted tha black slaves ta be liberated not far away there was also a crew of dem hoes whoz ass was beatboxin n' askin ta be able ta vote. Yo ass didn't care bout any of that, all what tha fuck you focused on was white biiiatches."Ayy lil mama let me whisper up in yo ear." Yo say ta tha straight-up original gangsta phat ass white hoe dat you see."Oh my, a black confederate soldier, you are rarer than one of the mythical unicorns sire.""Shiet, whichever takes me first ta yo' bed gorgeous."Bitch laughed n' then bit her lower lip, she gave you her perfumed napkin n' freestyled up in it her direction, like yo big-ass booty is ghon gotta visit her later."I have to go and do some chores my good negro. See you later...perhaps after my pa has gone to sleep and the barn becomes empty?"Hell yeah, white biiiatches want tha black dick regardless of tha time n' tha place."Focus, soldier." Said tha Colonel, still bustin his KKK bling.>Stick ta yo' mission: Ask round ta try n' find tha Colonelz ancestor.>Go ta tha playas whoz ass want tha blacks be liberated n' aid them, bust a cap up in any slave baller.>Go wit tha dem hoes n' aid dem tha fuck into gettin rights, like you might be able ta git some phat feminist cooch.>Other option, write in.
I'll have to go and do some chores now, I don't know if I will be able to continue for today because its already pretty late for me. If you want you can ask me shit and I'll reply on the phone as soon as I can.
>>3081296>Stick ta yo' mission: Ask round ta try n' find tha Colonelz ancestor
>>3081296Stick to the mission.
>>3081296>Stick ta yo' mission: Ask round ta try n' find tha Colonelz ancestor.Fuck helpin niggas, wolves stay on point
Alright, I'm back, writing now.
>>3081296>Stick ta yo' mission: Ask round ta try n' find tha Colonelz ancestor.This be all bullshit yo, but if it endz wit you gettin chicken then its worth dat shit."Yo you bustah! Has you done peeped dis muthafucka, biatch? Answer me or I swear I'ma bust a cold-ass lil cap tha fuck into yo' ass!"Yo ass ask round ta everyone, they all run away from you, it be lookin like up in dis ancient time was playas was not weakened n' mutated by bullshit they was able ta detect auras, n' yours is tha freshest n' blackest aura of all tha hood. Yo ass is simply too phat n' bangin fo' dis shitty task.>Try ta be mo' polite n' white acting. (Roll 1d100)>Meet wit tha pawg of before, ask her bout dat shit.>Fuck dis shit, if you cause enough chaos da thug will sooner or lata appear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. (Roll 1d100)>Other option, write in.
>Meet wit tha pawg of before, ask her bout dat shit.
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3081469Act white.
>Meet wit tha pawg of before, ask her bout dat shit.Yo ass stop askin tha crackas round n' head towardz tha place of tha biiiatch, luckily fo' you dat biiiiatch freestyled her name n' direction on tha napkin she gave ta you, nasty ass biiiatch called Joanne.As you head up in da barn where she lives you peep her up in tha distizzle wit nuff muthafuckin other dem hoes, all as thick as a funky-ass bowl of oatmeal damn!Booty can be deadly, up in mo' than one way. Their asses ended distractin you too much. Not long afta enterin you heard a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shotgun cockin n' pressin against yo' head."Hey y'all! are y'all ayy confederate soldier? Why are y'all here, ta marry one av my daughters? If y'all aren't here because av that there then get out!"Luckily fo' you it looked like da thug was half blind n' didn't saw yo' black skin, otherwise his bangin racist ass might simply blasted first n' ask later.>Act white: Rolled 11 (Failed)"Of course I be mah phat man!""Strange accent y'all have there, are y'all ayy faweignuurr? It must be my awful old ears a-failin' me ay guess! If y'all wan-ta marry one av my girls Joanne is thay ...uhh mowst fertahl one! ay'll go ayn' call thay priest, y'all be here">Da priest should know where tha Colonel is, stay until they return.>Attack him, no muthafucka whoz ass aims a glock at you survives ta tell tha tale. (Roll 1d100)>Wait until he gone n' run towardz Joanne, ask her bout tha Colonel.>Other option, write in.
>>3081589Wait until he's gone and ask the ho.
>>3081589>Wait until he gone n' run towardz Joanne, ask her bout tha Colonel.
>Wait until he gone n' run towardz Joanne, ask her bout tha Colonel.Fuckin oldschool dude, fuck his ass n' his crusty ass bones. Yo ass run towardz Joanne n' find her cleanin wit her sisters. Dat hoe tha crazy oldschool one, round 18, ass thick but firm, every last muthafuckin thang is on its place."Oh! The negro soldier, what are you doing here? I told you to come at night! If father sees you he will get mad!" Bitch was flustered n' blushin heavily, her lil sistas was bustin up softly at her reaction."Don't worry bout dat oldschool man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude left fo' a while so da thug won't bother us."Bitch looked back n' fidgeted wit her clothes."I be here ta ask you abo-""Wait, father left? Does that mean that we are alone? Then perhaps we could... go somewhere more private~">Lord Jizzy, stick ta tha mission.>Lord Jizzy, stick it tha fuck into her. (Roll 1d100)>Dat hoe a nasty whore fo' realz. Ask they sistas instead.>Other option, write in.
>>3081693>Lord Jizzy, stick ta tha mission
>>3081693Stick it the luck in her.
>>3081693>Lord Jizzy, stick ta tha mission.Cold azz nigga
>>3081693>Lord Jizzy, stick ta tha mission.Whatz mo' blingin, bangin some white hoor or havin fried chicken fo' all eternity, biatch? No hoe could compare ta that."Shut up biiiatch. I be on a mission. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I ta find Colonel Sanders. Yo ass know where he is?""O-of course. He's my father!"Shiznit."What, tha oldschool playa was him?""Yeah? And this is our farm. All the girls stood here to take care of it and our only male bro, Harland David, went to college."Fuck."Thanks fo' not a god damn thang biiiatch, I gotta go now, nahmeean?"This was bad, dis was terribly bad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! What if dat shiznit was now when da thug was capped by union soldiers. Yo ass would be tha responsible fo' tha lack of chicken up in tha future!All you could do now was ta use yo' ninja game ta run fasta than tha speed of sound.>Roll 1d100.
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>3081762WORLDSTAR.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>3081762Yeetus
Rolled 96 (1d100)I'll roll too.
>>3081784Yeezy blesses I suppose...
>>3081790Yeezy blesses us all dear anon. Bask in his glory.
>>3081762Yo ass leave her fasta than a funky-ass black daddy leaves his wild lil' freakadelic hoe tha instant da ruffneck discovers she pregnant. Yo crazy-ass arms is stretched backwardz as you start hustlin like a ninja n' become mad aerodynamic, leavin behind a trail of dust n' flowin leaves as you run up in a gangbangin' flash.Yo ass ultimately find yo' objectizzle enterin tha fuck into a lone church. Usin yo' ninja powers you ascend tha wallz of tha temple n' reach itz bell, it will offer you a phat vantage point n' allow you ta stealthily spy on his ass ta betta protect his muthafuckin ass.>Call yo' companions, tell dem what tha fuck you discovered.>Ascend as high as you can n' use yo' eagle vision™ ta detect nearby enemies.>Descend n' spy on tha Colonel, protect his ass from a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distizzle wit yo' sniper rifle.>Other option, write in.
>>3081818>Wasting time wit lessa niggasNah, we got dis>>Ascend as high as you can n' use yo' eagle vision™ ta detect nearby enemies.
>>3081818Call the gang, impart ya knowledge.
We need a tie breaker, otherwise I'll run with both options at the same time.
>>3081926Do both then we don't give a fuck
>>3081933Spoken like a true KANG
>>3081818>Ascend as high as you can n' use yo' eagle vision™ ta detect nearby enemies.>Call yo' companions, tell dem what tha fuck you discovered.Yo ass git on top of tha bell tower n' ninja climb all tha way ta tha metallic cross on top of it yo. Here so ridin' solo n' so high you become one wit nature. Yo ass is mostly a wolf but also a eagle n' sometimes a gangbangin' dirty-ass shark or a snake. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shiznit is fucked up.Connectin wit yo' inner eagle self allows you ta detect nearby enemies n' explore tha surroundin area further than any non-ninja thug could do.Several union soldiers is comin from tha northeast, they is a cold-ass lil cavalry crew followed by nuff muthafuckin troops on foot. They won't be a problem fo' you but tha Colonel ridin' solo ha no chancez of surviving, n' you doubt dat tha priest will intervene.Fuck it, you gonna gotta call tha others, even if you can easily bust a cap up in all of dem you doubt you can protect his ass n' bust a cap up in tha rest all all up in tha same time. You'll need help."Kokujin ta all KANGZ. I be up in a oldschool church tha the coordinates X-92-67 Y 13-77. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I found tha Colonel, he up in tha given coordinates. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Several soldiers is on they way here n' will bust a cap up in his ass if they discover his muthafuckin ass. Move yo' asses here n' help me!">Bust a cap up in as nuff as you can from a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distizzle wit yo' sniper rifle.>Descend n' explain ta tha Colonel what tha fuck has happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Protect his ass wit yo' Katana.>Use yo' eagle eyes again, discover if there be any way of distractin dem wild-ass muthafuckas.>Other option. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Write in.
This will be my last post for today. It's almost 3 am for me and I'm tired as hell. Thanks everybody for participating, tomorrow more!
>>3081969Start bustin caps.
>>3081973Very fun and original concept, well written IMO. Excited for more!
>>3081969>Bust a capMake it finga lickin' good
>>3081973Oh sweet mutha'o mercy 'dis shit be lit as fuk yo.
>>3081969>Bust a cap up in as nuff as you can from a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distizzle wit yo' sniper rifle.
Good morning everyone!>>3081969>Bust a cap up in as nuff as you can from a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distizzle wit yo' sniper rifle.Even if yo' rifle be lookin like a oldschool weapon cuz of its holographic disguise up in realitizzle it continues bein yo' black weapon of mass destruction, well, yo' second dopest weapon of mass destruction, tha straight-up original gangsta one is yo' dick.One by one these motherfuckers fall down, pop pop pop pop pop. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shiznit, it aint even a cold-ass lil challenge, you feel like a white thug must feel when it blasts down a school.Sadly tha noise of yo' weapon alerts tha Colonel, whoz ass along wit tha priests starts hustlin terrified away from tha buildin n' back tha fuck into they farm."Shiznit!">Surely mo' soldiers will soon follow, dis is fun, continue cappin' dem n' tell tha rest of tha crew of where they is headed.>Big up tha Colonel n' stop his muthafuckin ass. Tell his ass dat yo ass is his thugged-out lil' protector.>Big up tha Colonel n' wait until he returns ta da barn wit tha priest. In there say dat tha noise was you representin' dem against tha Union soldiers n' use dat advantage ta ask tha Colonel ta start KFC wit his son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. >Other option, write in.
>>3083288>Big up tha Colonel n' wait until he returns ta da barn wit tha priest. In there say dat tha noise was you representin' dem against tha Union soldiers n' use dat advantage ta ask tha Colonel ta start KFC wit his son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.
>>3082392>>3082073Thanks! But remember that I only do half of the job! Without you guys quests would be nothing.
>>3083288Tell him your his protection.
>>3083288>Big up tha Colonel n' wait until he returns ta da barn wit tha priest. In there say dat tha noise was you representin' dem against tha Union soldiers n' use dat advantage ta ask tha Colonel ta start KFC wit his son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Of course yo ass aint poppin' off bout chicken n' gravy, dat shiznit is peckerwoodz chicken nizzle! All bland n' tasteless, where tha fuck is tha spice up in dat shiznit damn! All you need ta be a phat ninja is fried chicken n' chicken tendies fuck yeah.Puttin yo' rifle on yo' back you jump from tha bell tower wit such strength dat you bust tha bell tower flyin away nuff muthafuckin miles, unknowingly ta you makin it land up in tha hood of before just on top of tha fuckers whoz ass was bustin tha slave auction, savin these nizzlez from bein sold. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! All by accident, yo ass is def like dat n' like dis n' like dat y'all.Yo crazy-ass flyin ninja jump put you nuff muthafuckin feet above tha farm, you land slow like a gangbangin' feather n' wait until tha fucker returns."Yo oldschool man! I saved yo' ass from tha Union, nizzlez gotta protect each other up in tha hood!""By the Lord, I saw a figure flying across the air, it was you! Are you an angel?" Says tha priest."No motherfucker, I be just one of mah thugs whoz ass likes chicken! Yo, I've heard dat you have chickens, why don't you fry these n' put dem nuff spices, makin dem all dirty n' delicious, biatch? It aint nuthin but a pimped out idea.""Angels appear to guide and protect us Billy, perhaps you should do what he says, after paying for your son's college you don't have much money, this is a sign from God.""I holla'd I be no angel you fool!""Whel ay will be darn. Fried chicken? That there sownds like something ay could get into boy, but what spices ay should use?""Shiznit I don't give a fuck! I can't do all tha work fo' you now can I""Joanne! get all our chickens ayn' bring them ta thay ...uhh kitchen, bring also all thay ...uhh buttuurr ayn' thay ...uhh spices, we gonna get cookin"Da priest started ta pray, apparently still believin dat you was a angel. Da rest of tha crew came not long afterwardz yo, but as usual dat shiznit was late, they had missed all tha fun."Yo fuckers, we gonna smoke fried chicken fo' free biaaatch! No need ta dine n' dash hahaha!" Yo ass scream ta dem wild-ass muthafuckas.Da next minutes is ones you aint NEVER gonna forget, you along wit tha rest of tha crew dine loadz n' loadz of fried chicken, each round wit different spices until you git tha recipe right."Hell yeah! This is tha one!" Yo ass holla'd afta tha eleventh chicken plate, yo' muscular frame havin disappeared under a layer of fat. Da rest agreed."Yes! This chicken is delicious indeed! This will make you very rich Billy!"All Y'all hollared."Thanks blayk angel, without y'all ay done might have done died poaw, what's y'all's name?""Kokujin Niggamaki Hayabustah."
>>3083360"Uh. ay will call these Kokujin Fried Chicken! aw KFC faw shawt"Afta dis was holla'd Jakub started poppin' off wit you all via intercom."GOOD WORK TEAM, IN THE FUTURE THE PEOPLE OF ZIMBWAKANGDA NOW HAVE KFC TO EAT, BUT WE ARE STILL LACKING IN SEVERAL THINGS, CIVILISATION IS NOT YET SAVED. RETURN TO DA MIXTAPE.">Ask tha white hoe ta come wit you, havin a side chick be always good, n' if dat dunkadelic hoe tha Colonelz ancestor dat will piss his ass off so its a win win thang.>Git all tha chicken you can n' return ta tha shizzle stealthily, yo big-ass booty is ghon always be a lone motherfucker.>Return wit tha rest of tha group, afta smokin chicken wit dem you hustled dat they aint so bad.>Other option, write in.
>>3083362>Ask tha white hoe ta come wit you, havin a side chick be always good, n' if dat dunkadelic hoe tha Colonelz ancestor dat will piss his ass off so its a win win thang.Assemble the harem to pose at the foot of our future throne.
>>3083362>Ask tha white hoe ta come wit you, havin a side chick be always good, n' if dat dunkadelic hoe tha Colonelz ancestor dat will piss his ass off so its a win win thang."Yo Joanne biaaatch! Come wit me! I wanna make you feel all phat up in places you don't even know dat exist yo. Has you done eva had yo' ass eaten, biatch? I doubt it~"Da biatch flustered n' looked at his wild lil' daddy as if askin permission. Dude nodded n' tha hoe went hustlin towardz you."Soldier, we can't brang playas from tha past." Said tha Colonel."Shut up jackass. This hoe is yo' fuckall pimped out grandma, n' I'ma pump her full of mah ninja Kokucum! So dat means I be yo' pimped out pimped out grandfather, so obey yo' father!""I...uh, what?" Dude replied."Fool! No meddlin wit tha timelines!" Niggandalf screamed."Whatever, biiiatch hop in."Da Mixtape landed near tha farm, lettin you all hop in. Once inside yo' threadz n' weapons moonwalked back ta they original gangsta appearizzle fo' realz. All up in all time pimpin' be a funky-ass busy n' tirin thang n' afta smokin so much chicken all you could be thinkin of was chillin. Da shizzle ascended tha fuck into tha skies n' once up in orbit entered tha fuck into tha timestream, Jakub would now study tha newly pimped timelines, tomorrow we would gotz a freshly smoked up mission.>Decizzle ta build a harem of biiiatchez of all races, times n' places. Zimbwakangda forever!>Fuck Joanne until she pregnant, if she straight-up tha Colonelz ancestor then da thug will chizzle n' be mo' like you as yo big-ass booty is ghon also become part of his bloodline, at least dat way dat fucker might be a lil less uptight. If she not tha Colonel ancestor dump her from one airlock, her big-ass booty should be fine...or no. Not dat you care much, yo ass be a cold-ass lil cold blooded nizzle.>Train up in yo' ninja arts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Now dat yo ass is tha creator of KFC there be surely nuff playas whoz ass will want you dead ta discover tha secretz of tha chicken n' inherit yo' fried chicken mackdaddydom>Other option, write in.
>>3083433>Decizzle ta build a harem of biiiatchez of all races, times n' places. Zimbwakangda forever!>Fuck Joanne until she pregnantInstill dat paternal fear into Colonel by literally (kinda) becomin' his daddy-o
>>3083450>Instill dat paternal fear into Colonel by literally (kinda) becomin' his daddy-oKey you are a nasty ass bustah
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>3083467Aight, roll a 1d100, lets see how well you fuck her.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>3083467Moment of truth.
>>3083473Don't worry, this just means that she aint knocked up yet. She will enjoy it anyway, white girls love black cock no matter what.
>>3083433>Decizzle ta build a harem of biiiatchez of all races, times n' places. Zimbwakangda forever!>Fuck Joanne until she pregnant>Rolled: 51 (Failed)Fuck Jakubz missions, you have yo' own agenda, fuckin biiiatches left n' right, hell, like even some alien hoe from venus, dis shiznit be a spaceshizzle afta all right?All of tha shipz empty cargo bays done been filled wit fried chicken, not from tha oldschool playa but taken from tha future, buckets n' bucketz of chicken as far as tha eye can see, its fuckin paradise. Every one of y'all has its own underground cargo bay ta store yo' shit, you guess Joanne can stay here fo' now, luckily fo' you these areas is also installed wit 3D printas up in case you need ta print something. Yo ass print up a simple bed, suttin' dat make her amaze n' shiver up in emotion n' fear, dat thugged-out biiiatch convinced yo ass be a god, thatz cool, she can worshizzle you as much as dat biiiiatch wants.Afta tha bed is done you fuck her like a animal up in heat, yo' superhuman stamina n' yo' chakra laced musclez givin her tha time of her game fo' realz. Afta finishin you 3D print a explosive slave collar n' put it tha fuck into her takin advantage of her post fucking shivers."Bitch, yo ass is goin ta stay here from now on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I'ma git mo' hoes like you, you all is ghon be mine n' I'ma be all yo' aight?"Damm cold straight killah.Not long afta tha motherfucked of Jakub was rappin again n' again n' again from tha speaker system."I'VE STUDIED THE NEW TIMELINES CREATED AFTER THE GREAT FRIED CHICKEN REVOLUTION. A NEW EVENT HAS APPEARED: IN THE ENGLAND OF THE MIDDLE AGES THERE WERE RUMOURS OF A BLACK KNIGHT, THEY WERE ULTIMATELY PROVEN TO BE FALSE, TRAVEL THERE AND MAKE THESE LEGENDS TRUE BECOMING NOT ONE BUT A GROUP OF BLACK KNIGHTS WHO WILL SAVE ENGLAND. THE OTHER MISSIONS STAY THE SAME.""IN ANCIENT EGYPT THE JEWS WERE ENSLAVED BY THE BLACK PHARAOHS. GO THERE AND AID MORE JEWS INTO ESCAPING SO IN THE FUTURE THEY BECOME MUSIC PRODUCERS AND HELP CREATE THE BEST MUSIC OF THE WORLD, GHETTO RAP.""DURING WORLD WAR 2 THE AXIS WAS DEFEATED AGAINST THE ALLIES, I CALCULATE THAT IF WE AID HITLER AND INDUCE A MENTAL HYPNO SEQUENCE IN HIS BRAIN WE CAN MAKE HIM BELIEVE THAT BLACKS AND ARYANS CAN CREATE THE PERFECT RACE, BLACKYANS. ALLOWING BLACKS FROM ALL THE WORLD TO MATE WITH MUSCULAR WHITE MEN AND WOMEN."Yo ass dressed up n' went ta tha control room not even sayin phat bye or lookin back at her n' shit. Every dizzle you was mo' n' mo' edgy n' thus, powerful."KOKUJIN, YOU SAVED THE FUTURE FROM LACKING CHICKEN, YOUR JUDGEMENT ALLOWS YOU TO CHOOSE YOUR NEXT DESTINATION.">Da Black Knights>Niggas up in Egypt>Blacked: Germany Edition.
>>3083481>Blacked: Germany Edition.Acquire Arayan bitch for dem slave haremz. Gain dem powerful genez.
>>3083481Blacked Germany edition.
>>3083481>Blacked: Germany Edition"Letz git all up in Germany n' git our asses some white hoes!"Da shipz holographic camouflage dressed you all like nazi SS soldiers, still, as like up in before yo' skins was still black as coal. Well shiiiit, It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Yo crazy-ass Katana turned tha fuck into a massive bayonet n' yo' rifle tha fuck into some oldschool ass sniper rifle.Once mo' tha shizzle trembled from side ta side as it travelled up in time n' once mo' once up in destination you all was vented up n' left ta parachute on top of some oldschool ass hood...Berlin."I'VE GIVEN YOU ALL THE HYPNO SEQUENCES, YOU HAVE TO PLAY THEM TO THE MOST PEOPLE POSSIBLE, THE MORE INFLUENTIAL THE PEOPLE THE BETTER, PLAY IT TO HITLER AND OUR VICTORY WILL BE ASSURED."Muthafuckas round was givin you weird looks, not nuff black nazi soldiers up in germany you guess.HYPNO INFLUENCE ACHIEVED: 0%>Go wit tha rest of tha crew n' attempt ta infiltrate tha Nazi HQ n' hypnotise Hitler>Go ta some night club or whatever n' hypnotise tha biiiatches up in there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. This should be easy as fuck n' you might find some hoe ta carry wit you, biatch.>Go ta tha local military barracks n' hypnotise tha soldiers n' generals up in there, yo ass is dressed as a soldier so you might be able ta pass fo' a while. This can be fucked up yo yo, but yo ass is shizzle none of these pussaaaaay ass nazi soldiers could defeat you, biatch.>Other option, write in.
>>3083498>Go ta tha local military barracks n' hypnotise tha soldiers n' generals up in there, yo ass is dressed as a soldier so you might be able ta pass fo' a while. This can be fucked up yo yo, but yo ass is shizzle none of these pussaaaaay ass nazi soldiers could defeat you, biatch.Just like ou' ding-a-ling we goin' in deep
>>3083498>Go ta tha local military barracks n' hypnotise tha soldiers n' generals up in there, yo ass is dressed as a soldier so you might be able ta pass fo' a while. This can be fucked up yo yo, but yo ass is shizzle none of these pussaaaaay ass nazi soldiers could defeat you, biatch.Yo ass leave tha rest of tha crew without you knowin it n' head ta tha local barracks, tha meanest greyest buildin around, itz filled wit lyrics dat say "ATCHUNG!" n' "ANTI-JÜDEN GERMANY!" creepy ass motherfuckers.In tha doors a soldier stops you."Halt! Wer bist du, gehörst du zu den afrikanischen Truppen?""Man fuck you, biatch." Dude seems puzzled at first yo, but then da perved-out muthafucka seems ta be thinkin of suttin' n' calls fo' a cold-ass lil chick, a funky-ass dope negress whoz ass started ta act like a translator n' bustin lyrics ta you tha fuck into weird clickin tongue, you didn't listened ta her much n' simply nodded damm, dat biiiiatch was thick!Afta noddin tha soldier granted you pass tha fuck into tha building. Da black hoe bigs up you closely, dat dunkadelic hoe straight-up wants yo' D.>Ask her was tha speaker system is, letz hypnotize all these fuckers at once.>Take dat hoe ta tha bathroom stalls, da hoe be lookin like da hoe bugged out wit kraut cock, give her some phat Zimbwakangdan meat.>This place could also be a prison, hypnotise all tha prisoners n' then liberate dem wild-ass muthafuckas. >Other option, write in.
>>3083519>Ask her was tha speaker system is, letz hypnotize all these fuckers at once.Germanz army with a thirst for phat black ass, and hganticuge black meat.
>>3083519>Ask her was tha speaker system is, letz hypnotize all these fuckers at once."Ayo biiiatch you know where tha speaker system is, biatch? I gots a mixtape right here dat its fire"Bitch looked at you trippin but then seemed ta understood what tha fuck you meant n' took you ta a cold-ass lil control room was nuff muthafuckin oldschool lookin reel machines n' a single microphone was standin on top of a wooden desk. Da room was lil' small-ass n' only had one entrizzle n' a window."Now, thangs might git skanky now, so git down." Yo ass say as you push her on her knees n' under tha table. "And stay there, it is ghon be tha safest place around."Yo ass then turn on tha machines n' activate yo' underground commlink ta play tha hypno sequence. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Soon a seriez of noisy n' scratchy soundin clicks started ta boom across all tha barracks, tha nazi soldiers don't take long ta appear."Shiet!" Yo ass say as tha black chick starts ta work on yo' cock. Hoe could suck a golf balls all up in a garden hose.YOU HAVE TO DEFEND THE SPEAKER SYSTEM FOR 4 ROUNDS! THE GIRL IS WORKING ON YOUR COCK SO YOU CANNOT TURN AROUND (-10 ta all dice rolls). Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SINCE YOU ARE A NINJA KILLER YOU WILL ONLY NEED TO GET 60 OR MORE TO DEFEAT YOUR ENEMIES! GOOD LUCk!!>Roll 1d100.
Rolled 39 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>3083536Gon be so fire Ninggandalf gonna' think we stole his negromancy powers
>>3083544Was suppose to be -.Also SHEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITT
Rolled 11 + 10 (1d100 + 10)I will roll too, hopefully Yeezus blesses us again.
>>3083547I did the dice roll correctly, seems like the website doesn't allow to do substractions. Whatever, we are fucked anyway.
>>3083536"Lord Yeezus help me cuz dis black subuccus is gonna loot tha game outta mah dick!" Yo ass scream as tha straight-up original gangsta nazi entas up in tha room. Dogg dammit, dat semen demon was so bangin dat you became distracted fo' a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! A yellow haired cracka sucker socked you n' you became forced ta use yo' sword ta defend yo ass as dopest as you can. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass don' manage ta hit his ass but his coward ass backs away from tha blade, still, another came soon.THREE ROUNDS LEFG! WE DIDN'T DEFEAT HIM. NOW TWO NAZIS ARE HARASSING US AND WE DINDU NUFFIN BAD!>Roll 2d100, one fo' each nazi fuck whoz ass is comin' at us.
Rolled 90, 94 = 184 (2d100)>>3083554
>>3083557DAS DA BLACK MAGIC I'MZ TALKIN' BOUT
Rolled 68, 30 = 98 (2d100)>>3083554Yo ass do tha two thangs you was born ta do, bustin nuts n' cuttin crackas, n' now you was bustin both all up in tha same time!With a swingin movement you cut tha neckz of two aryan fuckers whoz ass promptly fall ta tha ground like dead weight, you kick dem behind tha table n' leave space fo' tha next fuckers ta come, yo ass is unstoppable baby!"Two fuckers down, whoz ass know how tha fuck nuff mo' ta come...and bustin lyrics of coming....NNGHGOD!"Yo ass say as you bust n' empty deez nuts.TWO ROUNDS LEFT! ANOTHER TWO NAZIS ARE COMING, KILL THEM ALL!>Roll 2d100
Rolled 45, 10 = 55 (2d100)>>3083565Feel that blackaline (Black adrenaline)
>>3083565Afta nuttin you was able ta turn back n' fight properly yo, but still even if you was pumped full of blackaline you was still feelin dizzy afta havin yo' balls emptied so fast, n' tha nazis once mo' suckerpunched tha hell outta you, biatch.Yo ass managed ta take tha straight-up original gangsta hit properly but damn, tha second one went directly ta yo' guts n' busted you towardz tha table was tha speaker system was, luckily fo' you even if tha thang stumbled hard dat shiznit was so heavy dat it didn't end fallin down."Motherfuckers you have angered mah crazy ass too much! Da hypno shiznit is ghon be over anytime now so I don't gotta hold mah dirty ass back!">Unleash yo' inner dragon attack, releasin all yo' chakra n' bustin these fuckers n' possibly half of tha buildin ta hell.>スーパーオタクアタック !!!>Use yo' rifle ta blast these fuckers across tha room.>Other option, write in.
>>3083575>Other option, write in.Channel ou' bitchin chakra to drop beats so hot they literally set dese fools on fire.
I'm gonna make a new rule, after cumming our hero can do pretty much anything, no dice roll needed. >>3083575>Channel ou' bitchin chakra to drop beats so hot they literally set dese fools on fire. Yo ass channel tha dank energies dat tha fried chickens gave you n' call yo' KANG ancestors ta aid you up in dis superhuman feat. Dragon flames start ta step tha fuck up round you, bustin a sick ass aura of power."HAHA!Here's a little something for you bustersYeahWhat's up with that?You'll cowards don't even smoke crackWhat's up with that?You'll cowards don't even smoke crackHater, you, don't even smoke crack, bitch, you's a mark foolMotherfuck that ho shit, that's a G, that's himI'm about to blaze up, 'specially when it's after dinnerI changed the game don't get it misunderstoodHitting it out the glass and that smoke all goodCan't water it with green, get work, got that stickLaws know I keep it, they on my dick, these niggas sickBut when I do smoke some weedI'm straight out that rose, you best believeBut green ain't better than that hard, hard is so much funSeven for forty-five, wholesale gets it doneAnd I don't care if you judge meI'm smoking cooked, and living so lovelySo stop looking like you're dumbYou know you wanna try, but fail to get someWhat's up with that?You'll cowards don't even smoke crackWhat's up with that?You'll cowards don't even smoke crackWhat's up with that?You'll cowards don't even smoke crackWhat's up with that?You'll cowards don't even smoke crackIt's on an' poppin'I'm blazing white, now my destiny ain't stoppingI'm coming up in a song to rapI sold my soul to Satan but bought it back from God with this songY'all bustas ain't ballinUntil you smoke some work and see who really paper callingY'all falling off like the last centuryNo respect from me till you get that cheeseAnd you see what life is all aboutTill then you just a little bitch with a raised snoutI gets my clout from the mainstreamIt's always love and dap in my dope sceneI'm clowning, and keeping it rockMy coke chopped and screwed cause I'm on the blockI'm stinging big and bringing workAll the while keeping y'all haters feelings hurtWhat's up with that?You'll cowards don't even smoke crackWhat's up with that?You'll cowards don't even smoke crackWhat's up with that?You'll cowards don't even smoke crackWhat's up with that?You'll cowards don't even smoke crack"
>>3083586And just like that, they fuckin faces started meltin n' also of every last muthafuckin one whoz ass was round ta hear you, biatch. Muthafuckas suddenly catchin fire everywhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Behind you, pimply claps, yo' ancestors is proud as a muthafucka of you, biatch. YOU MADE IT! YOU MANAGED TO HYPNOTISE SEVERAL HIGH RANKING GENERALS AND SOLDIERS! BUT MOST OF THESE PEOPLE ARE ALSO NOW ON FIRE! YOU FUCKED UP SON! YOU BETTER RUN!">Meet with the rest of the team.>Run away and repeat the process, there must be more barracks around.>Grab the black girl and take her to the Mixtape, fuck her while the rest of the team works on their own.>Write in.
I've to run an errand so I'll return in about an hour! See you later!
>>3083588>>3083588>Run away and repeat the process, there must be more barracks around.>Write in.Find an Aryan woman to add to that slave harem before we leave. Gotta show her what a real mastah of a race looks like. We already got plenty of black tang back home anyways.
>>3083595Dude you really are into fucking white girls. Are you black irl or are you into cuckholding perhaps?
>>3083592>Run away and repeat the process, there must be more barracks around.>Find an Aryan woman to add to that slave harem before we leave. Gotta show her what a real mastah of a race looks like. We already got plenty of black tang back home anyways.Yo ass jump from tha roomz window n' don't even look back when tha buildin explodes fo' realz. All up in all you must have hypnotised on some hundred playas yo, but surely afta tha mayhem no mo' than all dem have survived. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it is still a victory!HYPNO INFLUENCE ACHIEVED: 1%Landin safely on a rooftop you ninja run across buildings jumpin like a madman until you find another of these barracks, there seems ta be one per hood. I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Surely dis buildin has ta have another of these speaker systems n' surely there must have nuff muthafuckin bangable nazi chicks up in there, hopefully nazi chicks up in leather, tha germans is kinky like dat n' like dis n' like dat y'all.Yo crazy-ass jumps take you ta tha rooftop of tha next barracks, time ta bein yo' mission.>Search fo' some thick ass german hoe dat needz some phat vitamin D>Go directly towardz tha speaker system n' use it ta hypnotise people>Sabotage they weapons n' accesses so they cannot fuck wit you while you work.>Other option, write in.
>>3083621>Go directly towardz tha speaker system n' use it ta hypnotise people
>>3083621>Go directly towardz tha speaker system n' use it ta hypnotise peopleYo ass have gots ethics, tha mission first, tha biiiatches later n' shit. Besides, when you finish hypnotisin playas tha white chicks is ghon be all over yo' ding-a-ling anyway.With a swift jump you enta across a opened window n' search fo' tha speaker room, if these two buildings is somewhat alike then they should be up in tha same place.It don't takes you long ta find it n' once mo' you put tha hypno-sequence of yo' comm-link tha fuck into tha microphone, blastin dem hoes wit nuff muthafuckin psycho hypnotic signals n' clicks.Like up in tha last time tha Nazis detect yo' fuckery n' decizzle ta battle you, biatch."BLITZKRIEG!" Screams some kraut fuck as he jumps towardz you wieldin a gangbangin' flamethrower n' shit. "AMERIKAN SPY! DIS IS MEIN FLAMMENWERFEN! IT WERFS FLAMMEN!"Apparently afta tha chaos dat you busted out on tha other barracks tha rumours bout spyin n' sabotage done been circulatin n' tha playas was locked n loaded ta counta you, biatch. This fuckers was straight-up n shit.Da flames won't do much ta you cuz yo ass be already pretty much 100% sick fire but still they can fuck up tha speaker system pretty easily, you gotta defend dat piece of shiznit from damage.>Fight fire wit fire, rap again n' again n' again n' invoke tha flamez of yo' ancestors n' fried chicken ta bust his ass ta hell. (roll 1d100. 70 or more to succeed)>Use yo' Katana ta cut tha pipez of his wild lil' flamethrower, leave his ass without ammunition. (roll 1d100. 70 or more to succeed)>Cut his wild lil' freakadelic german head n' grab tha flamethrower, use it against tha next fucker whoz ass pops in. (roll 1d100. 70 or more to succeed)>Other option, write in.
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3083652>Fight fire wit fire, rap again n' again n' again n' invoke tha flamez of yo' ancestors n' fried chicken ta bust his ass ta hell. (roll 1d100. 70 or more to succeed)
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>3083657I'll roll too.
>>3083684Dank u Lord Yeezus
>>3083652>Fight fire wit fire, rap again n' again n' again n' invoke tha flamez of yo' ancestors n' fried chicken ta bust his ass ta hell.Once mo' you feel yo' ancestors backin you up. Their spirits empowerin yo' musclez n' fillin yo' ass wit bangin lyrics. Yo crazy-ass eyes become white, yo' afro spiky n' blonde, a aura of dragon juice surroundz you, biatch."It goes, it goes, it goes, it goesIt goes, it goes, it goes, it goesGuillotine - yuh!Sit in the dark and ponder howI'm fit to make the bottom fall through the floorAnd they all fall down - yuh!(It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes, it goes, it goes - yuh!)Out of the shadows barrage of witch tongueCobra spit over apocalyptic cult killer cauldron smokeStomp music seriously - yuh!(It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes, it goes, it goes)Can't stop the groove licks jaws clear off them locks relentless raw movementFit to knock you from here to that g-spot body rock connectedTo everything you want, ever did want, we got it why not come get itStick your head in that hole and watch me drop this cold guillotine death sentence - yuh! yuh!It goes, it goes, it goes, it goesIt goes, it goes, it goes, it goesGuillotine - yuh!Hidden art, between and beneath, every fragmented, figure of speechTongue in reverse, whenever the beatCauses my jaws to call out, out, out, out - yuh!The screens flashing red, can't see shit but headsSpinning exorcist like planets out of orbit off the edgeOff mine axis whipping through doors to far more than all that’s ever been said - yuh!Tie the chord, kick the chair and you're dead - yuh!It goes, it goes, it goes, it goesIt goes, it goes, it goes, it goesGuillotine - yuh!Guillotine - yuh!Head of a trick in a bucket, body of a trick in a bagAnd thrown in the fire like fuck it, gotta burn it before it goes badOne too many times been disgusted by the stench of rot is such a drag - yuh!Get broke by the street like blood stained glass - yuh!Choke on these nuts till the very last - yuh!(It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes)Serial number, killing machine, the illest of meansTo an end built on the filthy sound you're experiencing - yuh! yuh!It goes, it goes, it goes, it goesIt goes, it goes, it goes, it goesGuillotine - yuh!Guillotine - yuh!Tinted windows, bulletproofThe slip knot fixing rope to nooseTo the grave stone grinder of cold steelThe passion that blinds me so I feel - yuh!Can't let go, no it flows through our veinsBlows through our tunnels and rattles our chainsAnd they all fall down - yuh!"
>>3083692Da fucker tries ta fight yo' fire wit his wild lil' fire but you don't spit aiiight flames, you launch nuff muthafuckin nizzlewatz of juice all at once, overpowerin his ass n' makin his wild lil' freakadelic gin n juice container explode violently. Da fires dat you launch is bangin but up in dis occasion you manage ta control dem a lil bit mo' n' mo' n' mo'. Meltin facez of tha thug nazis but not touchin tha hoes n' barely damagin tha building.When yo ass is done only some scared hoes is remaining, they won't do shiznit ta you, n' even if they is scared shitless tha hypnotizzle will make dem crave yo' cock.>Wait until tha hypnotizzle is over n' let tha local hoes come ta you, biatch.>Explore around, you be thinkin you saw a motherfuckin tank round when comin here.>Contact Niggandalf n' tell his ass bout yo' newfound rap powers.>Write in.
>>3083694Explore around, find them wheels.
>>3083694>Explore around, you be thinkin you saw a motherfuckin tank round when comin here.
>>3083694>Explore around, you be thinkin you saw a motherfuckin tank round when comin here.Yo ass run round n' easily find a Panzer tank, gettin inside was not tha hard part, you simply cut tha top hatch wit a swift katana swin n' hopped inside, gettin it ta work was tha hard part."Yo A1RWR3CKA biiiatch! Come here n' tell me how tha fuck ta drive dis shiznit son! Pimp dis motherfuckin ride!" Yo ass scream across tha comm-link.Not long afta dat dunkadelic hoe teleported up in a gangbangin' flash of light n' rocked up next ta you, biatch. "YOYO Hw Cayn aHH Help YOu?? `~~~~~~ HOw WE RiiDeeee On dHaa sOuthSiIDee `*?!""Girl we is goin ta pimp dis motherfucker tank, turn it tha fuck into a giga pimp mobile n' blast tha hypno mixtape all round tha hood!""yoyO HelLL yEAhhh BooOaYY We's GoN Burnnn DisHerEEE MoTHerfUckin CiTeE!! ! "Bitch gots ta work n' soon tha oldschool german panzer was hybridized wit tha dopest zimbwakangdan technology, hypno spinnin rims, crome bumpers, neon up in tha underside, gold studz n' purple camo paintjob, along wit nuff muthafuckin biiiatchin massive speakers ta blast tha phat music."Yooo Yo Yo AH HeArdd daTTT DA NaziS gotS $uM $upUHHH $ecreTT TEchh HidDEnn $omeWHerE RoUN' Hurr, $um uFo LEvel $hit, WaNnaa CHecK IT Out???">Drive directly tha fuck into tha nazi HQ, beat Hitlerz ass tha fuck into submission>Rampage all across tha hood, do a thugged-out drive by blastin onto tha fuckin krauts>Go n' check tha supa secret nazi tech dat A1RWR3CKA mentioned.>Other option, write in.
>>3084464>Go n' check tha supa secret nazi tech dat A1RWR3CKA mentioned.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ47bGAL9Dg Pimp it even more.
>>3084464>Go n' check tha supa secret nazi tech dat A1RWR3CKA mentioned.Yo ass two drive like motherfuckers on snow white, gettin outta tha buildin by breakin tha walls n' crushin any fool dat gets up in yo' way fo' realz. A1RWR3CKA drives while you use tha main cannon, mounted turret n' sniper rifle ta fuck krauts both from up close n' far away. In all directions round you a path of dead n' chaos, all while you blast tha hypno mixtape ta a gajazillion decibels.Da tank soon entas tha fuck into a military laboratory ta tha outskirts, behind you nuff muthafuckin soldiers n' five-o rides pot blastin you like fools."Call tha Colonel n' Niggandalf ta defend tha area while we search fo' dat weird tech!"Yo ass defend wit her tha tank until tha other two fools arrive n' yo ass be able ta git inside. There is nuff muthafuckin laboratories up in there: Biologizzle sector where they was apparently hustlin on bustin supa aryan pimps n' dem hoes, Engineerin sector where they was hustlin on some kind of alien ufo shiznit n' tha Hydroponics sector was they was hustlin on bustin gigantic fruits, includin gigantic watermelons.>Go ta tha Biologizzle sector, git yo ass some aryan supa hoe>Go ta tha Engineerin sector, git some nazi alien tech>Go ta tha Hydroponics, git tha supa grape n' watermelon seeds.
>>3084630Go get the grape juice and watermelon, goes well with the kfc.
>>3084630>Go ta tha Biologizzle sector, git yo ass some aryan supa hoe
>>3084630>Go ta tha Hydroponics, git tha supa grape n' watermelon seeds.
>>3084630>Go ta tha Biologizzle sector, git yo ass some aryan supa hoeYo ass two split n' part ways, A1RWR3CKA goes towardz tha Engineerin sector while you git all up in tha Biologizzle one.Once up in there you find a cold-ass lil circular room full of vats filled wit people, not all of dem kickin it, most of dem dismembered up in one way or another, up in tha centre two ÜBERMENSCH, a playa n' a biatch. They was two freaky lookin motherfuckers, made from different bodies n' bigger than any other cracka dat you had seen. Da hoe was a amazizzle hoe, seven feet tall, wit big-ass breasts n' wide baby makin hips. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was muscular but not freakingly so n' was tha slick aryan, snowy white skin, light blue eyes n' platinum blonde. Da muthafucka didn't mattered, looked like tha hoe yo, but bein a funky-ass boy. Da two was alseep n' connected wit some weird tubes.On they base a platform wit a mic ta rap wit dem wild-ass muthafuckas."Fuck yeah boye biaaatch! Dig mah dope dope jamz!"Yo ass put tha hypno tunes tha fuck into tha machine n' peep tha hoe spazzle n' twich, when its over she opens her eyes n' pushes against tha glass, easily crackin it n' breakin open."UUGHG! SNU SNU?"Seems like dat biiiiatch wasn't properly taught rap yo, but dat mattered not...did it?"Afta makin dope dope ludd you take her wit you n' go towardz tha hydroponics, playa fuckin a giantess make you hungry!>Go ta tha Hydroponics, git tha supa grape n' watermelon seeds.With her behind you travel n' In there you find a gardeners paradise, fruits as big-ass as tanks n' seedz as big-ass as yo' fists, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Yo ass gather tha seedz of Grapes n' Watermelons n' plant a lil bit of yo' special chronic on some empty land plot fo' realz. Afta activatin tha local machines gigantic da weed plants start ta grow from yo' special seeds, you save some fo' yo ass n' wit tears on yo' eyes burn tha rest. It aint nuthin but fucked up yo, but dis will create a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distraction n' allow you all ta safely escape.Not long afta burnin every last muthafuckin thang a motherfuckin saucer crashes from a wall."Yoo Yoo Kokujin, PEep At wUt BiTChinn A$$$ Ufoo Ah Got!"Along wit yo' newly acquired amazon goddess you git tha fuck into tha shizzle n' ascend ta tha skies, down below tha Colonel n' Niggandalf continues rockin tha pimped up tank ta bust a cap up in n' hypnotise playas."fuCkn misSionn ComPLeteeeee BIatcH!"
>>3084898Da ufo tractor beamed tha motherfuckin tank n' tha two ascended tha fuck into tha Mixtape, dat was already tha fuck into tha skies."KOKUJIN!" Screamed Jakub. "YOU HAVE WEAKENED THE NAZIS, HYPNOTISED THEIR CIVILIAN POPULATION, STOPPED THEIR SUPERSOLDIER PROGRAM, SABOTAGED THEIR SUPERFRUIT EXPERIMENTS WHILE STEALING THE MEGASEEDS OF THE GRAPES AND WATERMELONS! YOU ARE A HERO AMONG THE ZIMBWAKANGDANS. IN THE NEWLY FIXED TIMELINE THE PEOPLE NOT ONLY HAVE ALL THE FRIED CHICKEN THAT THEY WANT BUT ALSO WATERMELON AND GRAPE JUICES, AND WHITES HAVE MIXED SO MUCH WITH BLACKS THAT NOW BLACKS CAN BE NATURALLY BLONDE, REDHEADS OR HAVE DIFFERENT EYE COLORS. YOU HAVE ALSO FIXED OUR GENEPOOL! THE SALVATION OF ZIMBWAKANGDA IS VERY CLOSE!"Now even tha Colonel saw dat you was tha dopest up in tha crew. You, biatch? Well you was aiiight of havin a freshly smoked up addizzle ta yo' slave harem.
Alright, I'll finish here for today, It's past midnight for me and I gotta wake up early tomorrow.I both study and work so for me it's impossible to run from Monday to Friday, so see you next Saturday! Albeit I'll try to run sooner if possible!>Since the thread will be up for a long time you can feel free to ask anything that you want about the quest.>My twitter:https://twitter.com/axsisel>My discord:https://discord.gg/jYNkY6V>Archive:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=KANGZ%20Quest
How hard is it to write like this?I saw you in /qtg/ When you were getting up I was gonna go to bed.
>>3084940That was fun as fuck. Looking forward to the next one.
>>3084940Thanks for running!Will there be any horrific repercussions as a result of using time travel?
>>3085274It's not that hard to be honest, I use Gizoogle to do all the hard job: http://www.gizoogle.net/textilizer.php>>3085504Thanks Key! I hope to see you too!>>3085799This quest is more light hearted than anything, so I won't be really hard on any of you and won't make it difficult. There might be, but at the end the quest will always be comedic in nature.
Alright! I'll write a lil bit every night before going to bed!
>>3084900Yakubz grill rocked up once more, fuckin skanky ass mofo wit a giant onion head."THE SALVATION OF ZIMBWAKANGDA IS NEAR! WE HAVE FOOD AND BETTER GENETICS BUT WE STILL LACK MUSIC AND SOME COOL ASS LEGENDS! WERE SHOULD WE GO NEXT KOKUJIN?""IN THE ENGLAND OF THE MIDDLE AGES THERE WERE RUMOURS OF A BLACK KNIGHT, THEY WERE ULTIMATELY PROVEN TO BE FALSE, TRAVEL THERE AND MAKE THESE LEGENDS TRUE BECOMING NOT ONE BUT A GROUP OF BLACK KNIGHTS WHO WILL SAVE ENGLAND.""IN ANCIENT EGYPT THE JEWS WERE ENSLAVED BY THE BLACK PHARAOHS. GO THERE AND AID MORE JEWS INTO ESCAPING SO IN THE FUTURE THEY BECOME MUSIC PRODUCERS AND HELP CREATE THE BEST MUSIC OF THE WORLD, GHETTO RAP."All Y'all was now waitin fo' yo' reply, it felt like these motherfuckers now bigged up you, biatch.>Da Black Knights>Niggas up in Egypt>Ask fo' other time n' place. Da timelines is yo' biiiatch.
>>3087202Niggas up in Egypt.
>>3087202>Niggas up in Egypt"Ayo, we gotta go back, back ta tha past n' hook up our niggancestors, tha original gangsta KANGZ of egypt n' shit!"With these lyrics of wisdom holla'd tha shizzle gave you freshly smoked up holo disguises, up in dis case it made you be lookin like a motherfuckin pimpin pharaoh! Da Mixtape then entered tha fuck into time pimpin' mode n' once mo' shook from side ta side, as if it was a giant salt n' pepper forty or some fat assed hoe whoz ass was grindin yo' dick.I felt up like in dis occasion it took it less time ta travel ta dat particular date n' location, like you was already gettin used ta such hectic transportation.Without a word Yakub vented you all tha fuck into tha egyptian skies, far below a endless mantle of orange hues n' a funky-ass blue wound, tha Nile river.Afta safely landin tha crew dispersed, you all was a ragtag crew of fools n' you kinda was horny bout dem all yo, but you was far from a crew, you only hit dat shiznit together when you needed ta fuck up shit. So, dis was tha hood of ancient Cairo, fuckin biiiatchin ass hood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! There be a funky-ass bazaar ta some distance, like you could find some biiiatchin ass blade or suttin' cool. In tha distizzle there was some pyramidz bein built n' somewhat further a cold-ass lil colosseum of some kind, wit pasty white roman nizzlez struttin there ta peep tha fights, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Where ta go fool?>Go ta tha bazaar marketplace>Go ta tha buildin pyramids>Go ta tha colosseum>Other option, write in.
>>3087278>Go ta tha buildin pyramids
Also wouldn't this be better to continue in a new thread for the Archive?
>>3087327Nah mate, its all fine. Check the archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/3080783/The new posts also appear there. I've seen some QMs archive their threads the instant they create them.
>>3087278>Go ta tha buildin pyramidsIn dis time tha jews is enslaved by tha blacks, tha blacks is tha legit pimps n' own cracka slaves n' jew slaves, as it should be!Yo ass is here ta liberate tha jews right, biatch? They be buildin da pyramidz n' shit. Well shiiiit, it make sense ta travel there biaaatch! Damn yo ass be a gangbangin' fuckin smart-ass !Travellin there don't takes you long n' ultimately you find yo ass surrounded by slaves n' motherfuckin mammoths pushin rocks n' logs, these pharaohs was tha pimpest motherfuckers around, you have never peeped suttin' so massive n' powerful, yo ass is up in total awe all up in tha size of these ladz fo' realz. Absolute fuckin units."THANKS TO THE TECHNOLOGY GOTTEN FROM THE NAZIS I'VE BEEN ABLE TO CREATE AN AUTO-TRANSLATOR DEVICE." Says Yakub from tha comm-link. "YOU ALL SHOULD BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE JEWS, ROMANS AND EGYPTIANS ALIKE."Even a gangbangin' fuckin creep ass like Yakub was aight from time ta timeSince you was dressed like a pimpin pharaoh playas round din't gave you tha stink eye, up in fact nuff looked at you wit respect n' fear, even if they didn't truly knew whoz ass you were, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. >Go n' find tha egyptian biatch queen, tell her yo ass is some pimp god or some bullshit like dat n' give her tha god D up in exchange of liberatin tha slaves.>Scream dat yo ass be a sign of tha godz n' instigate a violent rebellion, cappin' nizzlez n' liberatin da jews.>Attempt ta loot one of tha mammoths fo' yo ass, go full Grand Theft Animal on they asses.>Other option, write in.
>>3087373>Go n' find tha egyptian biatch queen, tell her yo ass is some pimp god or some bullshit like dat n' give her tha god D up in exchange of liberatin tha slaves.>Attempt ta loot one of tha mammoths fo' yo ass, go full Grand Theft Animal on they asses.Charge up dem palace steps in on a mammoth.
>Attempt ta loot one of tha mammoths fo' yo ass, go full Grand Theft Animal on they asses.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGf_o3ukK2A&index=7&list=PLpqyS38lLfx6K0b4R9OygBq0urs82noSb&t=0s
>>3087373>Go n' find tha egyptian biatch queen, tell her yo ass is some pimp god or some bullshit like dat n' give her tha god D up in exchange of liberatin tha slaves.>Attempt ta loot one of tha mammoths fo' yo ass, go full Grand Theft Animal on they asses.With a high jump you git yo ass tha fuck into tha skies, far above dem hoes n' use yo' rifle, now lookin like a funky-ass bow, ta cut down all tha ropes n' liberate tha beast from his fuckin load. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Afta landin on its back you grab it from its hairs n' start ta pull ta control tha beast, still, tha motherfucked is wild as hell, so it endz gettin all wild-ass n' hustlin around, no matta how tha fuck much you scream tha fucker don't stops n' all you can do is make his ass go left or right.Yo ass crash n' fuck wit nuff muthafuckin fuckers, cappin' overseers n' accidentally liberatin slaves wit all tha chaos dat yo ass is making. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some jew fucks is also crushed against tha footz of yo' freshly smoked up playa yo, but thatz a sacrifice yo ass is willin ta make.Afta a while tha beast seems ta quit trippin' up n' accept you a lil bit more, lettin you stop it wit a smack ta tha back of tha head n' accelerate wit some kicks ta tha ribs. These fucker is pretty much yo' brutha from another mutha n' shit. Yo ass two is aggressive, thug looking, brown n' both have gigantic trunks hell yeah! Yo ass even call it Kokujin Junior, motherfucker is da bomb.Now dat you know how tha fuck ta control Kokujin Junior you head towardz tha royal palace, nuff muthafuckin guardz of both egyptian n' roman origin attempt ta stop you but they is no match fo' tha sheer juice of yo' rifle, ta tha outsidaz it be lookin like yo' crude ass bow is magic n' capable of blastin supersonic arrows fo' realz. A feat dat further instigates fear tha fuck into tha witnessez of tha mayhem dat yo ass is making.At tha end you reach dat biatch, you git down from Kokujin Junior n' encounta tha blackest meanest biiiatch dat you have eva seen, like real obsidian skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo what tha fuck tha fuck, is these insect wings?"I detect tachyon traces on your presence. You are not of this time. Who are you, stranger and why are you sabotaging my plan of returning to my far away world?"Shiet, tha biatch be a gangbangin' fuckin alien girl! Biatch looks half human but oddly strange too, dat dunkadelic hoe thick fo' real but her hairy-ass legs n' four arms n' neck is freakingly long, her head is straight-up shaven n' her eyes is two amber spheres, plus dat freaky freaky biatch has fuckin wings yo!
>>3087453"Ayo what tha fuck is this muthafucka! Is you spittin some lyrics ta me dat we weren't KANGZ n' tha pharaoh was some aliens or sum shit?""Here is a maddening question for you. Who are you that you don't know your history?"That trippin tha fuck outta you, n' dat thugged-out biiiatch continued bustin lyrics."I am the queen Xrtckl'kck of the Nephelayess system. My ship crashed in there two hundred cycles ago, I was the only survivor. I've been building the pyramids for the rest of my people to find me. They are a message, a map, a beacon of hope...and you, fool, you are destroying all of that!"Bitch arose ta full height, bein nuff muthafuckin headz talla than you, biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was equipped wit a staff whose endz emitted chronic sparkz of pure plasma fire."Shiet, I've never had a alien hoe before!">Defeat her wit tha juice of bustah rap lyrics!>Fight her up in a honour duel, katana versus alien staff>Speak wit her, tell her dat you don't give a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shiznit bout her pyramidz as long as tha jews is liberated>Write in.
>>3087456>Defeat her wit tha juice of bustah rap lyrics!>Speak wit her, tell her dat you don't give a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shiznit bout her pyramidz as long as tha jews is liberatedPut da bitch in 'er place an' then give here the deets.
>>3087473Sorry man, gonna leave it for today, more tomorrow at around the same time!
>>3087456>Speak wit her, tell her dat you don't give a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shiznit bout her pyramidz as long as tha jews is liberated.
Alright! Since I'm really enjoying this quests and it feels like you all are enjoying too I'll write whenever I have some free time, even if that means writing at unholy hours for you americunts.
>>3087456>Defeat her wit tha juice of bustah rap lyrics!Yo ass remove yo' sick ass pharaoh cap n' reveal a motherfuckin afro. Once mo' you commune wit yo' ancestors, they pimps empowerin yo musclez n' fillin you wit pride, inspirationizzle lyrics n' a gangbangin' flamin aura of pure dragon juice.Yo ass become a muscular giant, yo' afro becomes all spiky n' blonde, yo' eyes light purple, grape juice flowin across yo' veins. Yo ass drop a rhyme tha wit a voice of a GOD."Yo, who dat boy? Who him is?Him that ni-guh, I swearStand out guy, him don't need no chairWell, where the fuck him at? 'Cause nigga, I'm right hereI don't shop at the mall, all y'all justDumb mothafucka, I'm a goddamn artistYou can give me some markers and I'll draw you a closetAnd you know that it's GOLF, bitch, gonna make the depositNigga fresh to death like he got dressed in a coffinCons, overalls, and a striped shirtThe boy drips swag like a broken faucetIt's runnin', nigga, I'm runnin' shitThat cherry be the bomb like he ran in BostonWon't stop 'til the cops surround himOne nigga jiggy and the other awesomeWith his fuckin' face blown off, that's how they found himIt's Young TWho dat boy? Who him is?Who dat boy? Who him is?Nigga, who dat boy? Who him is?Who dem boys? Nigga, who dem is, nigga?Why you niggas feel like that?Mad 'cause a nigga neck chill like thatYou mad 'cause a nigga push wheel like that?Why you puttin' bad vibes in the air like that?Nigga, who dem boys?Who dem is? Nigga, who dem is?Who else step in this bitch this jig?Who else your bitch say got a bick this big?Who else came through with a wrist this flick?Nigga, Guess my pants, do my danceSpin around, bitch, you could kiss my assNever seen a nigga in this much RafStill doin' math when I miss my classWas it Summertime '06, had the Number (N)ineNigga, never mind, was another time before VinceHad the Gucci gold tips with the lettermanNigga, dollar sign was my favorite number at the timeFresh freshmen 'til they skipped my assSenior citizen, don't forget my passBeen that nigga and you knew that thereMake the dick disappear, how she do that there?Who dat boy? Who him is?Who dat boy? Who him is?Nigga, who dat boy? Who him is?Who dem boys? Nigga, who dem is, nigga?Why you niggas feel like that?Mad 'cause a nigga's neck chill like thatYou mad 'cause a nigga push wheel like that?Why you puttin' bad vibes in the-?
>>3088368Fuck the rap, I'm tryna own a planetFrom my other fuckin' business venturesThese niggas these daysActin' like some bitches, like they're fuckin' with ya (yeah)Teeth is glistenin', Jesus, ChristmasHe just shittin', she exquisite, bitches be expensive(Yeah, let 'em know, nigga) And I don't even need attentionWANG$AP on the bumper sticker, fuck you niggasFuck global warming, my neck is so fríoI'm currently lookin' for '95 LeoMy mom say she worried because I'm so illI should stay in bed, but got too much breadTo make, she said watch my weightSo I stayed home and start eatin' some mealsGet out of my way, way, boy that's McLarenThat's 0 to 60 in 2 point nueve, I'm gone"Yo ass don't git freaky wit yo ass, lettin yo' sick lyrics ta burn all around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da biiiatch is quick n' uses her staff, slammin it on tha ground n' bustin a sphere of chronic juice dat protects her entirely, tha rest of tha temple is burned down, tha servants n' warriors turned tha fuck into scorched skeletons."Shiznit, yo ass is tha straight-up original gangsta one whoz ass has been able ta stop one of mah sick ass rap attacks!">Speak wit her, tell her dat you don't give a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shiznit bout her pyramidz as long as tha jews is liberatedBitch then jumped high n' extended her wings, flyin round like a moth up in a rave party."Bitch, I just wanna liberate tha jews, I don't give a gangbangin' fuck bout you or yo' ayyy lmao pals.""Enough nonsense!" Biatch screams as her dope ass darts down n' uses her staff ta slash tha ground, bustin big-ass ravines dat crack tha entire ground n' part of tha walls.>Call fo' tha of tha crew ta aid you, biatch.>Call fo' yo' amazizzle nazi über waifu ta aid you, biatch.>Ask Yakub bout these weird ass aliens.>Rap again n' again n' again n' again n' again n' again n' again, overload dat techno staff of hers.>Use yo' sick ass katana n' shank tha biiiatch>Other option, write in.
>>3088369Call for the nazi babe.
>>3088369>Call fo' yo' amazizzle nazi über waifu ta aid you, biatch.Yo ass jump away from tha temple n' ride yo' mammoth of war ta tha outside, behind you nuff muthafuckin boltz of superheated plasma fly around, beatin tha livin shiznit outta statues, shops, buildings n' mah playas unlucky enough ta be caught up in tha crossfire.From time ta time you look back n' blast at her yo, but she always quicker than you, flyin away or bustin a funky-ass barrier n' turnin yo' bullets ta molten slags before they reach her muthafuckin ass."THE GODS ARE FIGHTING, IT'S THE END OF TIMES, JUST LIKE THE JEWS PROPHETISED!" Screamed one of tha roman priests as they run away, soon most of tha playas is hustlin like a muthafucka fo' realz. All of tha the jew slaves was escapin n' nuff whoz ass was not of they dogma joined dem along tha way as they now believed dat they faith was tha legit one."Aryan Biatch I need you, nahmean biiiatch?" Yo ass scream ta tha comm-link. Da amazonian hoe is instantly launched down from tha Mixtape n' falls down like a meteor, fallin just on top of tha alien biatch.When tha dust settled you saw dat tha two was wrestlin n' grapplin each other, rippin they threadz n' punchin whenever they could. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da sudden appearizzle of tha nazibitch had forced tha alienbitch ta drop her staff, so dat biiiiatch wasn't as fucked up now, still, dat biiiiatch was a gangbangin' force ta reckon wit n' was bein able ta git on her level.>Ask Yakub ta teleport some wata on top of dem n' some chicken, grape soda n' watermerlon fo' you, biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Since they is on sand tha wata will create mud, make tha two biiiatches fight while you smoke n' jack off ta dat shit.>Ask Yakub ta teleport you a slave collar, git tha fuck into tha struggle n' put it tha fuck into tha alien biiiatch, dat biiiiatch is ghon be a gangbangin' fine addizzle ta yo' harem.>Grab her weapon n' use it ta blast tha biiiatch ta bits.>Other option, write in.
>>3088419Get them wet. Option 1.
>>3088419>Ask Yakub ta teleport some wata on top of dem n' some chicken, grape soda n' watermerlon fo' you, biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Since they is on sand tha wata will create mud, make tha two biiiatches fight while you smoke n' jack off ta dat shit."Yo Yakub motherfucker playa! Git me some bucketz of water, I need it fo' uh...important reasons."Soon afta nuff muthafuckin KFC buckets rocked up next ta you, filled ta tha brim wit wata n' some floatin chicken skin strips, tha lazy motherfucker didn't even 3D print some metal buckets n' instead simply used tha ones dat muthafucka had lunched dis morning. Yo ass threw tha wata ta dem n' soon tha sand under they feet became a pool of brown mud whoz ass quickly stickied ta they skins, makin dem be lookin like real black hoes!"Oh yeah, n' git me some phat chicken, grape dranks n' watermelon too!"And once every last muthafuckin thang was next ta you you simply sat n' started smokin n' jackin off, phat lord they was some thick n' phat hoes, phat biiiatches!Da fight was still up in a stalemate, it seemed dat no one would eva win all up in tha other n' shit. Ultimately thought, they became too exhausted n' tha two fell tha fuck ta tha ground, straight-up defeated. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Yo ass came n' covered they already mud coated skins wit a freshly smoked up coat of yo' thick n' warm seed."Yakub mah dope lord, break me off a slave collar." Yo ass holla'd afta cummin n' finishin smokin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Alright ladies, tha fight is over." Yo ass enslave tha Biatch, grab her pimpin ass staff n' contact wit tha others."Yo yo motherfuckers muthafucka! I be once mo' tha pimp of dis mission while you did jack shit!""Our thugged-out asses helped tha slaves n' defended dem from dangers while they escaped hommie! We is heroes too!" Lyrics tha Colonel."Yeah yeah, whatever, no muthafucka cares!"Yo ass teleport tha Mammoth ta yo' crib n' ascend wit dat shit. While you was up tha biiiatches pimped yo' place n' used tha 3D printa ta build a ass shaped bed, nuff muthafuckin speakers, a gangbangin' finger-lickin' disco ball, ninja shiznit everywhere n' a gigantic bong made from tha dopest nazi n' redneck technologizzle yo. Hell yeah, you would end turnin dis entire shizzle tha fuck into yo' pimp mobile.>Smoke weed, train up in yo' ninja arts n' fuck yo' three biiiatches tha fuck into submission.>Tell tha others dat they suck balls n' dat you don't need dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Fuck tha mission. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Abandon they asses up in egypt n' use tha Mixtape ta soar tha galaxy n' build n' intergalatic harem.>Ask A1RWR3CKA ta pimp up yo' Mammoth n' use tha alien tech up in yo' blade n' rifle.>Go ta tha control room n' wait until tha rest return, complete yo' last mission.>Other option, write in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.
>>3088463>I ain't talking about chicken and gravy.What did he mean by this?Get ready to complete the last mission. Ask Airwrecka for upgrades.
>>3088478That means "don't add anything stupid", that he's serious.
>>3088463>Ask A1RWR3CKA ta pimp up yo' Mammoth n' use tha alien tech up in yo' blade n' rifle."Yo techno biiiatch, stop hustlin on sum vibranium dildo fo' yo' giant cavernous pussaaaaay n' come here ta pimp mah shit!"Bitch came shortly afta wit a cold-ass lil couple skanky sodz chained n' naked, seems like she also decided ta git some slaves fo' her muthafuckin ass, shiet, you started a trend yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. Yo wait a minute, is dat motherfuckin Einstein, biatch? Did dat nerd hoe git dat e=mc2 cock? Shiiiet.Along wit Einstein n' other some skanky fucks whoz ass was surely as domey as dat biiiiatch was they ended pimpin up yo' weapons n' mammoth wit tha dopest confederate, nazi, zimbwakangdan n' alien tech! Yo crazy-ass Katana was now 6 feet long, tha blade was a mixture of egyptian n' nazi simbols dat ran across a funky-ass dope depiction of tha american downtown dat was mixed wit nuff muthafuckin alien circuits n' gizmos. Da blade emanated bangin purple flames every last muthafuckin time you wielded it n' somehow, tha fucker could morph tha fuck into yo' sniper rifle what tha fuck tha heck! Yo ass gonna go all RBWY onto they asses!Da Mammoth was pimped tha hell outta it, dat shiznit was given a sick ass gigantic ninja headband, its tusks was covered up in gold. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It aint nuthin but fur dyed purple so it looked like a real playa. On top of it a platform wit white leather couches so you could drive round wit yo' hoes n' nuff muthafuckin mounted gatlin machineguns. Da Mammoth was also needed ta upgrade wit bionics cuz all tha added weight was too much fo' it, its hairy-ass legs was now gold plated piston pumped ass legs n' dat shiznit was so bangin dat it could now run, rump n' tha motherfucker could even fly wit some jets installed on its Nikes.Zimbwakangdaz last mission was close, you could feel dat shit.
>>3088508>Go ta tha control room n' wait until tha rest return, complete yo' last mission."KOKUJIN! I CANNOT DETECT THE FUTURE, WE HAVE NO FUTURE, THE CHICKEN, THE GRAPE SODA, THE WATERMELON, THE WHITE HOES! ALL LOST!" Screamed Yakub."Nigga you tripping." you say mounted on yo' biiiatchin ass mammoth, yo' three biiiatches behind you."THE TIMELINES BREAK AFTER THE MIDDLE AGES! SOME STRANGE SHIPS CAME AND DESTROYED EVERYTHING!""These must be my people coming after me..." Said tha alien biatch up in a semi orgasmic way, tha hypnotic shiznit had a straight-up bangin effect on her muthafuckin ass."Then stop her nigga!" "I can't, you took me from their time, I was their queen and I disappeared, they must have discovered that and took offence, coming all the way from my world and arriving at your middle ages."Da Mixtape dressed you all like black knights, even yo' hoes, tha mammoth was disguised like a funky-ass biiiatchin dragon n' then travelled forward up in time."GO THERE AND FIX EVERYTHING BEFORE WE ALL DISAPPEAR OR DESTROY THE GALAXY IN A PARADOX."Y'all was vented outta tha shizzle n' landed up in a oldschool ass castle, a cold-ass lil castle dat was under battle by some weird ass aliens dat looked like dat biatch. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. These was smalla n' had only two arms, if it weren't fo' its armour they would have looked pretty human. They had pale skins, white eyes n' grotesque teeth n' noses, motherfuckers looked like freakz of nature.>Rampage across tha castle wit yo' Dragon Mammoth cappin' aliens n' wit tha aid of yo' gatlin wieldin hoes.>Git outta there n' take tha alien biatch, tell dem dat her ass is fine n' dat they can git tha fuck outta mah grill wit dat bullshit ta whatever shiznit hood they came from.>Take advantage of tha chaos n' loot all tha thugged-out medieval hoes, treasures n' alien shiznit dat you find along tha way.>Other option, write in.
>>3088509>Rampage across tha castle wit yo' Dragon Mammoth cappin' aliens n' wit tha aid of yo' gatlin wieldin hoes.
>>3088509>Rampage across tha castle wit yo' Dragon Mammoth cappin' aliens n' wit tha aid of yo' gatlin wieldin hoes.Yo crazy-ass Dragon Mammoth activates tha jetpackz of its feet n' rises up in tha skies, fire burnin englishmen n' aliens alike. Yo crazy-ass three biiiatches blasted brass all up in tha passin alien ufos, beatin tha livin shiznit outta nuff muthafuckin as you ascend up in a spirallin manner n' shit. Once up there you jump from shizzle ta ship, sinkin yo' pimped up sword onto they engines n' pilots, shinskebabin these fuckers n' impalin then harder than you would impale a wet pussaaaaay.A1RWR3CKA flies tha pimped up nazi ufo close ta you, blastin lasers n' dirtnap rays towardz all these fuckers. Inside of her shizzle a rave of trashy electronic dizzle noize n' lasers all while Einstein n' tha rest of tha Manhattan project scientists trip up in ecstasy n' mega hybridized nazi-zimbwakangdan poppers.Down on tha floor tha Colonel n' Nizzlendalf wreak havok, tha leader rollin n' blastin while Nizzlendalf absorbs tha melanin outta tha aliens n' turns dem tha fuck into even pastier zombie crackas.Da aliens was at first havin a gangbangin' field day, tha middle age peasants n' knights couldn't do jack shiznit against dem yo, but now they was bein mercilessly, up in a second you had turned tha tide. They was so desperate dat they all started hustlin away, except they werent.All tha vehiclez fused tha fuck into a amorphous ball, tha instant they landed onto tha bizzle dat shiznit was like they melted n' tha aliens inside was straight-up swallowed, growin mo' n' mo' as if it was a gigantic chrome tumor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Then, as if it was a star it started glowin white hot, then it became a massive egg n' cracked, from its insides a 100 feet tall bio-organic robot."Shiiiiiiiiiet!" Yo ass screamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "TEAM, RETURN TO THE MIXTAPE, WE CANNOT DEFEAT THIS FOE, ALL HOPE IS LOST!">Do as it says, ask A1RWR3CKA ta turn tha Mixtape tha fuck into another giant robot.>Fuck dat shit, hop tha fuck into dat robot n' GTA tha fuck outta dat shiznit son!>Return ta tha Mixtape, attempt ta contact tha aliens n' return dem they biatch, yo big-ass booty is ghon miss dat biiiatch but sometimes you gotta say peace out.>Other option, write in.
>>3088567>Do as it says, ask A1RWR3CKA ta turn tha Mixtape tha fuck into another giant robot.
>>3080783> can chizzle tha past n' fix tha present.Wouldn't it be easier (and more realistic) for them to just steal all the shit they need instead of fixing anything?
>>3088767Black people stealing? What are you, racist or something?
>>3088567Ask Airwrecka to turn the mixtape into a giant robot.
>>3088567 (You)>Do as it says, ask A1RWR3CKA ta turn tha Mixtape tha fuck into another giant robot."Yo A1RWR3CKA! We need ta fight dat giant alien robot son! Yo ass betta do another giant robot??""yoYo HEHEEE BOOoAYy,, Ahh b ALWayS WONN $Tep AHEad O'' Chu! Da MixtaPE CAyn TurN NTO Uh Pimpinn A$$ RObOt NAHH PRoblem!"Y'all was teleported inside of tha shizzle n' it started its transformation, pure aryan, alien n' zimwakangdan technologies masterfully mixin tha fuck into da most thugged-out bangin n' masterfully crafted technological wonder dat tha universe has eva seen, bustin a mechanical warrior of infinite power.Da resultin robot was a trazillion feet tall, muscular, bangin n' wit a thugged-out drill shaped dick designed ta break biiiatches. In one arm a gigantic Katana controlled by you, up in tha other a magical wand controlled by Niggandalf, up in tha head there was tha Colonel, coordinatin everyone, tha hairy-ass legs was controlled by A1RWR3CKA, up in tha left shoulder there was tha redneck supa-ho wieldin a massive plasma cannon, up in tha other there was tha alien whore wit a gigantic xeno blaster, up in tha drilldick tha phat ass aryan biiiatch. Each one of y'all was given a pimpin ass lycra suit son! Yo ass of course had tha black one, tha Colonel was given a red one, Niggandalf had a grey suit, A1RWR3CKA had a green dress, yo' redneck hoe was given a pink suit, tha alien received a yellow suit n' tha nazi hoe a white one wit a pointed hood."Dies ist der Bohrer, der den Himmel durchbohren wird!" Biatch screamed up in her spooky ass nazi speak."Expecto Nigronum! Abra Kablackia! Dindu Nuffin!" Yelled Niggandalf, coverin tha entire robot up in strange magical energies, suckin tha melanin n' swag outta tha alien n' english fuckz of tha surroundin areas, turnin tha already white fucks tha fuck into even mo' white, autistic white even."It aint nuthin but biiiatchin time!" Yo ass scream as tha robot advances towardz tha alien enemy.>スーパードリルレイプ!>ドラゴンブレードダンス!>ゴーストラップブレードアシスト!>Other option, write in.
>>3089477>スーパードリルレイプ!Da nazi biiiatch started spoutin some weird german speech, beatboxin bout tha juden n' some other nonsense. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then started slammin tha buttonz of her station n' pullin levers.Da robot automatically holstered its giga-katana n' tha super-wand n' put its handz on tha drill, it stars ta stroke it n' somehow covers it wit a cold-ass lil corona of lewd energies, makin it bigger, thicker, harder.Once yo' drillding-a-ling was as big-ass as tha other robot was tha horny ass aryan biiiatch started ta moan n' bust a nut on her muthafuckin station, kinky ass motherfucker n' shit. "All Y'all, channel all yo' swag tha fuck into tha receptacle!" Said tha Colonel as he pushed some buttons, soon, up in front of dem hoes a tight ass finger-lickin' fleshlight or a gangbangin' dildo rocked up, you started dat fuck it hard n' strong, n' was pretty shizzle dat while you n' Nizzlendalf gots tha fleshlight tha Colonel instead gots tha dildo, da thug was a skanky ass homo afta all. With all yo' swag on it tha drill increased up in size even mo' biaaatch! Becomin so big-ass dat dat shiznit was visible even from space. Da alien robot you was fightin was semi solid, dat shiznit was like a mercury puddle badly shaped tha fuck into a vaguely human shape. Da thang grew some long ass wings n' turned its four limbs tha fuck into blades. Well shiiiit, it didn't wanted ta fight you, dat shiznit was scared shitless, dat shiznit was attemptin ta run away!"Team!" Screamed tha Colonel between moans, tha fucker ridin dat vibranium dildo like a pro. "We cannot let dem escape or they will return up in tha future stronger than before!"Yo crazy-ass robot ran towardz them, his crazy-ass massive drill ding-a-ling flappin from side ta side wit each step, beatin tha livin shiznit outta entire villages, mountains n' castlez along tha way. Da cowardly aliens attempted ta fly away but you managed ta snatch dem props ta yo' supa advanced ninja reflexes, soon Niggandalf used tha other arm ta grapple it too n' tha two of y'all pushed it against yo' cock, drillin nuff muthafuckin freshly smoked up holez up in tha robot n' fuckin it ta dirtnap.With each bangin hip thrust tha drill spun at a gajazillion revolutions per minute, sinkin deep tha fuck into its mercurial body n' turnin its insides out, launchin alien machinery n' alien soldiers flyin up in all directions.Da alien robot was sturdy, yo ass is goin ta give dem that, you shankfucked dat hoe until you all came tha fuck into tha swag receptaclez n' still tha fucker managed ta survive dat shit. By tha time you all finished tha robot was holed up in nuff muthafuckin places, wit its entire left arm missin n' most part of its head gone.
" ᓫ Ժ Ի Љ Њᕽᕽ Ђ ᐃᓄᑦᑐᑦ Ћ Լ Խ Ծ Կᐤ Հ Ձ Ղ Ճ ᓄᓇᑦᓯᐊᕗᒻᒥᐅᑐᑦ Մ Յ Ն Շ Ո Չ ᐦՊ Ջ Ռ Ս Վ Տ Ր Ց Ւ ᕑ " They screamed as they raised they arms.Their robot started ta vibrate n' chizzle up in shape, becomin amorphous. From tha skies hundredz of mo' robots like dat one rocked up, all of tha alien invadin forces was concentratin here ta defeat you, biatch. Da robots fused n' pimped a massive sphere of everchangin colors, up in a instant tha sphere imploded towardz tha inside n' busted out a big-ass cloud of steam n' strange energies dat turned tha entire area tha fuck into a stormy wasteland yo, but its ok, england was already a stormy wasteland so not much chizzled straight-up.This is it, dis is humanityz last n' freshest fight, if you defeat these aliens yo big-ass booty is ghon be heroez of legend yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. Da homies will become bigged up n' beloved n' racizzle is ghon be forever over n' shit. All Y'all will git part of tha Zimbwakangdan culture n' dat will aid up in tha future ta create a single culture, language n' society, a humankind united up in they ludd fo' phat biiiatches, rap beatz, fried chicken n' watermelon."We can't lose now! Our thugged-out asses have fought fo' straight-up long!" Da Colonel screams across tha speaker system."plAYa ChUUUUUUU TripPiNG, biatch? We'sss $TArted dIshEre jOURNEaYyy DiGg yeSterDaayYYY BraH." Lyrics A1RWR3CKA."Yeah, shut tha fuck up fool." Yo ass reply.>Ask Niggandalf ta suck tha melamine outta all of England ta empower yo' robot n' make you as big-ass as they are.>Make dem hoes raise they arms so you n' Niggandalf can gather tha strength of playas ancestors n' spew tha firest sickest rap of all time, boil dat fucker down.>Yo ass still don't give a fuck tha combat juice of dis freshly smoked up enemy, git away n' blast it wit all yo' ranged weapons.>Other option, write in.
Suck up the melanin to power up.I didn't translate the Japanese, didn't know we picked the Gurren Lagann option.
>Ask Niggandalf ta suck tha melamine outta all of England ta empower yo' robot n' make you as big-ass as they are.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWCRF028nD0"Niggandalf! Letz do a Genki-dama spirit bomb up dis motherfuckers!"Together you put his crazy-ass magic wand inside tha shaft of yo' katana, its magical juice imbuin yo' sick ass blade. Then you raise tha sword up, its edge breachin tha skies n' cuttin up cloudz n' tha troposphere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Yo ass suck tha melanin outta all of England, turnin these white fucks tha fuck into even whita crackas, fuck tha english people, inbreed albino lookin motherfuckers. Da melanin falls down from yo' blade towardz yo' robot, n' make its chrome surface become straight-up pimpin gold n' growin freshly smoked up blin blin accessories, spikes n' shiet. Not only tha outside of tha robot chizzles, it seeps all up in itz circuits n' straight-up bathes all of you, biatch. To tha KANGZ it didn't had much effect yo, but yo' white hoes now turned black n' thicker, they hairs curly n' they breasts shiftin tha fuck into massive udders.Yo crazy-ass crew emanated so much swag than tha robot grew a ganjazazillion times, becomin tha same size as tha other alien robot. Yo ass two was so big-ass dat you could be even be peeped from space n' fuckers from all across England n' even France, Germany or Spain could peep you fightin up in tha distance.>Giga Drill break! (Roll1d100)>Absorb even mo' melanin, all tha melanin of tha ghetto hommie! (Roll1d100)>Zimbwakangda forever playa! Jump n' shank these alien motherfuckers muthafucka! (Roll1d100)>Other option, write up in (Roll1d100)
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3090787Jump and shank the alien motherfuckers.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3090787>Giga Drill break! (Roll1d100)
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>3090787>Giga Drill break! (Roll1d100)
Rolled 19 (1d100)Alright, sorry for taking so long to answer, I will roll too for the Giga Drill Break option.
>>3090787>Giga Drill break! (Roll1d100)>Max roll: 42. FAILEDDa robot holstas its weapons n' grabs tha gigantic drilldo of its crotch, tha thang engulfin tha entirety of its lower right arm. It started spinnin mo' n' more, so fast dat it started suckin tha local cloudy storms until tha entire thang became a funky-ass black tornado covered up in electric thunderstorm. Da local electricitizzle coated yo' robot, addin its juice ta tha already overflowin swag n' melanin dat overloaded its systems.Stridin like a madman you suckerpunched dat sucka n' attempted ta tear him a new freshly smoked up asshole but tha fucker moved away all up in tha last instant fo' realz. Afta missin tha tornado stored up in yo' drill flew away, flyin uptown towardz Russia or some nordic ghetto, you couldn't give a fuckin shiznit bout dat shit.Afta swipin n' dodgin like a cold-ass lil coward tha alien mecha morphed one of its limbs tha fuck into a gigantic blade n' swiftly impaled yo' neck from side ta side, almost decapitatin you, biatch. Luckily you was up in a robot cuz otherwise a cold-ass cut like dat would have taken any motherfucker down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da Colonel was up in tha robotz head, which started ta catch fire n' spew sick ass smoke. It aint nuthin but communication link was instantly severed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! ( Yo ass now lack coordination, -10 ta all dice rolls )Da aliens then retreated bustin a sick ass somersault n' chizzled its other hand tha fuck into a gigantic axe, these ayy lmaos was straight-up shit.>Ask A1RWR3CKA ta fix it up, since dat thugged-out biiiatch controls tha hairy-ass legs dis will leave you unable ta move. (Roll 1d100)>Rip of yo' fuckin head n' launch it towardz dem as if it was a funky-ass bangin' potato, blow it ta hell wit all yo' guns, tha head is overloaded wit swag n' melanin n' dat shiznit is flammable as fuck, it will cook up a pimped out improvised nuke (Roll 1d100)>Do tha drill battle again yo, but dis time take all tha stormz of tha ghetto, create tha freshest tornado dat humanitizzle has eva seen. (Roll 1d100)>Other option, write in. (Roll 1d100)
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>3091999Do the drill battle again.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>3091999>>3091999>Do tha drill battle again yo, but dis time take all tha stormz of tha ghetto, create tha freshest tornado dat humanitizzle has eva seen. (Roll 1d100)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEI-NCTsiPE&t=238s
>>3094641That was me. Also yeah boy!
>>3091999>Do tha drill battle again n' again n' again yo yo, but dis time take all tha stormz of tha ghetto, create tha freshest tornado dat humanitizzle has eva seen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. (Roll 1d100)Yo ass is damaged but not defeated hommie! And afta bein shanked every last muthafuckin Zimbwakangdan of any value becomes enraged n' a gangbangin' fuckin unstoppable warrior!! Yo ass took full control of tha robot n' raised itz arm ta tha skies, revvin its drill ta a gangbangin' fuckzazillion revolutions per minute, makin it create a vacuum n' absorb all of tha worldz cloudz n' static electricity, dat shiznit was so bangin n' big-ass dat you even altered tha planets rotation, makin it cycle between dizzle n' night up in a matta of seconds, tha sky becomin daylight n' complete night fasta n' faster." ᓫ Կᐤ Հ Ձ Ղ Ժ Ђ ᐃᓄᑦᑐᑦ Ћ Լ Խ Ծ Ճ ᓄᓇᑦᓯᐊᕗᒻᒥᐅᑐᑦ Ի Љ ЊᕽᕽՄ Յ Ն Շ Ո Չ ᐦՎ Տ Ր Ց Պ Ջ Ռ Ս Ւ ᕑ ""Da fuck you jus' fuckin' say ta me fuck boi, biatch? Ima have you know I dropped outta highscool, freshman fuckin' year, n' I been up in MAD fuckin' drivebys, nigga. I done pimped over 3HUNNA phat white biiiatches muthafucka! I be knowin' how tha fuck ta fuckin blast yo sorry ass an' I gots da most thugged-out fuckin' kills downtown side. Yo ass ain't nothin' ta me but some fuckin' FAKE nigga tryna rap shiznit just AXIN' me ta fuckin' BEAT YO ASS, swear ta fuckin' JESUS, nigga. Yo ass fuckin' be thinkin you can jus' git AWAY wit sayin' dat shit, biiiatch, biatch? THINK AGAIN, NIGGA. I gots mah fuckin' crew n' dey be fuckin' pissed wit tha shiznit you be sayin'. Yo ass betta be fuckin, READY, biiiatch, 'cause mah niggas gonna fuckin cap you, biatch. Nigga, you fuckin' dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I WILL cap yo sorry ass tha FUCK OUTTA EARTH. I gots mah NIGGAS n' they ain't fuckin' playin' no mo' n' mo' n' mo'. Nigga, if you had ANY IDEA bout how tha fuck fuckin' wack what tha fuck you holla'd was, you'd a kept yo fuck nigga grill shut yo, but you fuckin' didnt, biiiatch nigga, n' now you betta git tha FUCK outta Compton. Yo ass fucked, boi." Yo ass scream up in response. Hustlin towardz tha alien mecha you uppercut dat fucker n' impale it wit yo' drill. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Since tha alien robot is semi-liquid it gets stuck up in tha drill n' unable ta git out. Da drill rotates up in one erection whereas tha tornado round it rotates up in tha other, makin tha friction between tha two rend n' shred tha fuckers tha fuck into lil' chunks. While cuttin dem ta lil' small-ass pieces you jump upwardz n' ascendz tha fuck into tha skies towardz tha moon."Eat this muthafucka! Finishin move biaaatch! Supa Tengen Nigga GIGA DRILL BREAK!"
>>3095418Yo ass ascend so fast dat you even catch fire n' then become frozen tha instant you reach space yo, but thatz not a god damn thang wit what tha fuck it is ta come. Yo crazy-ass drillpunch pushes tha ayy lmaos all tha way towardz tha moon, sinkin dem tha fuck into tha lunar surface n' bustin a cold-ass crata dat almost breaks tha moon up in two."WE RISK DESTROYING THE MOON! WE NEED TO RETURN TO THE TIMESTREAM!" Screams Yakub.With tha aliens still lodged on yo' drill tha shizzle entas tha fuck into tha time stream just as nuff muthafuckin volcanoes round tha moon start erupting. Once up in tha timestream yo' robot was busted from side ta side, dat shiznit was hard ta fight n' travel up in there but still you continued spinnin tha drill, bustin chunkz of tha alien robots ta different times n' locations, from tha prehistory ta tha 41th millennium until no mo was left.When tha time travel ended you found yo ass back up in Zimbwakangda yo, but not tha one you knew, dis one was a legit paradise. Yo crazy-ass robot landed on tha floor n' immediately broke ta pieces from tha stress n' damage, forcin all of y'all ta eject from yo' seats. Da Mixtape was no more, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.Thousandz of playas was surroundin yo' group, cheerin n' haulin you as heroes fo' realz. All of dem was black but wit wildly varied aspects, eyes dat ranged from brown ta violet, hairs dat could be naturally straight n' whose colours was impossibly varied. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yakub, now inhabitin a lil' small-ass drone body managed ta survive tha destruction of tha spaceship."I'M ANALYSING THE TIMELINES. SOME OF THE ALIENS WE HAVE SENT ACROSS TIME AND SPACE ENDED MIXING WITH THE LOCAL POPULATIONS, MAKING THEM ADD NEW AND INTERESTING DNA TO THE HUMAN RACE. NOTHING TOO IMPORTANT BESIDES NEW RANGE OF EYE AND HAIR COLOUR."Several playas came wit gifts fo' you, buckets filled wit da most thugged-out delicious chicken accompanied wit tha hottest of tha sauces, plates filled wit gigantic watermelon n' champagne glasses filled wit tha fizziest of tha grape sodas. Rap was tha prevalent noize genre n' props ta what tha fuck yo' did up in tha past now homies had they own mainstream legendz n' mythology.Yo crazy-ass biiiatches was now black, afta havin absorbed all of englandz melanine they became thick n' dark skinned yo, but straight-up you didn't care much, they still wanted yo' dick fo' realz. A1RWR3CKAz slaves also became black, dat shiznit was weird as fuck seein tha normally pasty white Einstein bein all black yo, but da perved-out muthafucka seemed ta like tha chizzle so phat fo' him!
>>3095420Yo crazy-ass travels back up in time pimped a gangbangin' finger-lickin' divergent timeline wit nuff muthafuckin notable chizzles:Afta tha chaos caused on Egypt tha jewish religion n' thus christianitizzle n' islam was forever chizzled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They now was rappin of two dark skinned angelz of dirtnap n' dat made africans be considered both holy n' dangerous. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Since you also saved way mo' jewish slaves than up in tha original gangsta timeline nuff of they jewishz descendants would also end becomin noize ballaz n' biggin' up all kindz of rap, makin it da most thugged-out mainstream n' bigged up noize genre, wit every last muthafuckin other genre havin nuff aspectz of rap included tha fuck into dem wild-ass muthafuckas.Da pimped out battle on england left they inhabitants straight-up sucked outta melanin, becomin vampires. These vampires would lead ta wage war onto tha homies fo' millennia but they would be ultimately defeated n' England retaken up in tha year 2109 up in tha name of Zimbwakangda.Da melanin vampires would join tha nazis yo, but afta yo' hypno indoctrination was injected onto they psyches tha nazis proceeded ta bust a cap up in any vampire dat they found, forcin dem ta go tha fuck into hidin n' reducin they numbers pimped outly.In dis freshly smoked up timeline tha American Civil war wasn't fought over slaves yo, but over recipes fo' realz. Tha Ghetto was a emergent culture n' it needed ta git a funky-ass base fo' all of its recipes, tha war was fought over which was best, chicken or cow. Ultimately all tha homies united wit tha Chickenfederatez of tha Downtown n' defeated tha Couwnion of tha North. Chicken became tha chickenshiznit of all tha ghetto, wit every last muthafuckin culture adoptin fried chicken n' addin its underground bust a nut on ta it, bustin a paradise ghetto wit countless of recipes fo' fried chicken.Da Colonel became a pimp n' confessed ta dem hoes dat da thug was a homosapien. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. No Muthafucka gave a gangbangin' fuck yo. Dude became a gay porn star n' continued becomin a role model fo' twink gays all across tha ghetto.A1RWR3CKA decided ta rebuild tha Mixtape n' make it bigger, fasta n' deadlier n' shit. Biatch then took her nerd slaves n' took dem ta tha stars ta find mo' aliens n' loot they tech. Biatch became a legendary space pirate n' her harem grew ta massive sizes, wit geeky alien slavez of hundredz of races.Niggandalf n' Yakub decided ta travel up in time ta fix any temporal breach dat they might have caused n' erect tha timelines every last muthafuckin time dat was needed, peepin' a shitload of magic along tha way n' ultimately ascendin tha fuck into suttin' superior n' fusin tha fuck into a godly bein dat was neither straight-up organic nor mechanic. Well shiiiit, it is unknown what tha fuck happened ta dem afta becomin one.
>>3095422And yo slick ass, biatch? Well, you continued bein tha freshest, baddest motherfucker there is. Fuck yeah.Yo ass was heroes, you had saved Zimbwakangda n' turned tha ghetto fo' a funky-ass betta place. Yo crazy-ass names is ghon be up in tha annalz of history forever n' every last muthafuckin body from lil' ta oldschool will know tha legend of tha Colonel, A1RWR3CKA, Kokujin n' Niggandalf!THE END.
I wanted to say that I had a lot of fun with this quest and that I'm glad it went the way it id. That you all have been really great players and that I hope that you had as much fun as I did and that you are happy with how the story developed and ended. If you have any question or thing you wanna say feel free to do it, even if its a critic or an insult, I'll be hanging around and answering to replies. Thanks for playing!
>>3095454That was fucking beautiful nigga. I'll always hope for a 2nd quest but this shit'll never be topped.
>>3096714Yo! My fan number one! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I don't think I will do a second one, albeit Niggas in Space sounds promising. We will see. I think I will try with something more serious for the next time.
>>3095454I LOLed. Hard to read, though. But fun and different.
>>3099462I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I'm sorry it was hard to read, but that was part of the charm.