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/qst/ - Quests


Your daughter, Melon, a magical girl, and she's been hiding it for a year. Your wife, Liska, is a kitsune, and she's been hiding it as long you've known her. Your current boss, Bernie, is a dragon (who might be a world-ending apocalypse), and he's been hiding it for as long as you've been working for him.

Your new subordinate at the accounting job, Reynold, is working for some agency with an acronym, and he's been hiding it from you as long as you've known him. Well, until you found the wire. His girlfriend, Rosemary, is a Leanan sídhe (and you're still not sure how to pronounce that), and she's still hiding it from him. He was hiding his employment from her, too - and that's not really your problem. They get to sort THAT out on their own. (Although Liska's been giving Rosemary some advice.)

You'd meant this to be a nice family barbecue. Introduce a couple of people to magic, have a powwow with your crew (three wizards, two witches, 1.? demons, some other folks, and a ton of magical girls) about how to deal with the magic rats that hold contracts on the magical girls, that sort of thing. Very low-key.

Everything got disrupted when Melon's friend, Mary, ascended to goddesshood in front of your eyes, and the magical backlash knocked down everyone in the magical yarnball you accidentally created.

There's really no explaining how things got here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Shotgun

That drew in the local dragon, Bernie (with a few of his crew), and Dionysus (who goes by D. Onassis now, thank you very much) a Greek god who happened to be in to be in town, and recently signed on as a client at Bernie's accounting firm.

So far, it's been rather peaceful, as your parties go. There was the part where Kelly (known as the Angel of Death in underworld circles) died and came back, after playing Russian roulette with the Grim Reaper for both his life, and that title people stick on him. Kelly won both times.

Oh, and the part where a magical girl became a goddess. And the part where you found out the government mole (Reynold). Also the part where you summoned Ellie (your older sister who became a magical girl, cut her contract and walked into Hell about thirty years ago) and pulled in your brother in law, Haru, with her. In giant fox form.

That's sort of your fault - you did set them up together. And he did decide to stay with her in Hell, last time everyone went there. (Was that really only a few days ago?)

Did you forget to mention the kitsune are all in heat or rut? They are. It's made for some awkwardly disturbing scenes with Melon. It's made for some awkward (but enjoyable) scenes with Liska. It's made for some awfully disturbing scenes between the two of them.

[1/3]
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SHOTGUN DAD IS HERE. HYPE!
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>>2902261
It made for a hilarious phonecall with a shrine maiden who ended up in bed with Sachio, one of your other brothers-in-law, but that's a bit beside the point.

Right. You summoned Ellie and Haru while they were losing a fight against Belphegor in some brimstone-scented corner of Hell. Haru stood guard over your sister in the middle of your living room while your received your old battle buddy, 'Superfly' Johnson - who was on the other end of Reynold's wire - and his team. At least they brought a side.

Unfortunately, they also brought a captive magical ferret. 'Supermax' and Freebles hit it off like oil and water. Except oil and water don't mix, and these two wanted to mix it up. So you persuaded Haru to take an unconscious Ellie to the guest bedroom (you still haven't managed to repair what they did in there last time), and had a pastiche of a pro-wrestling match between the two magic ferrets in the backyard.

Shoulda shouted "are you not entertained?" at the onlookers. They were quite entertained.

At some point, your eyes slipped off Dionysus, and he went on a drunken walkabout where he found Fred, your utterly normal neighbor, walking his family dog.

Fred and Dionysus showed back up at your side-yard gate, very chummy. Fred decided to drag his dog home, since it had to be choked back at the scent of your 'pet foxes' in heat.

As soon as the gate was shut, Dionysus proposed turning the party into an orgy, and hit everyone in the side-yard with a vision of what could happen. Or what they had thought of that would work for it. Or something.

Gods are weird.

The less said about what you saw, the better.

You fought it off after a few seconds. Liska took a few more, and whispered to you that she'd 'kill the bastard'. Kelly and Rick tanked it, although Rick (a demon, and the local chief of police) got stuck holding up Jean (Sue's mom, and one of Rick's subordinates), who basically collapsed. That may be why he's looking so threatening right now.

Judging by the look on Rick's face, he's down for a spot of deicide.

Dionysus saying he'd be happy to have the party everyone envisioned (or toast a newborn goddess) did not help matters.

Ok.

This is a bit of a sticky spot. Legends are legends, and Dionysus has been acting more like a drunk guest at a house party than a raging god, but you do know the story of what happened to that one Greek king who kicked him out.

It didn't end well.
[2/3]
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>>2902325
"I'd be happy to have you toast her," you tell the god, "but it's my house, my rules, and-"

Dionysus cuts you off with "-and no supermodels. Although some of the girls here - MmMmMmm~! Particularly your wife. You know," he continues, conversationally, looking at Liska, "usually, wives want to kill their husbands, and not me."

"Even with that level of your powers?" she snarls, still leaning on your shoulder, "must have been shitty wives of awful husbands."

"What DID you see?" he asks her, leaning back against your fence with a terrifying smile on his face. You feel Liska's claws digging into your shoulder, her arm across your back.

You... don't need three guesses for that one. There's only one thing that would have set her off like that.

"You might have had the right idea when you went for a walk," you tell the god, and tighten your grip on Liska's shoulder. Her arm's still snaked over yours, and you can feel her stiffening against you.

"I might have," Dionysus says, then laughs, "I told you this was why I picked you, hey?" he says, unlatching the gate and gesturing at you with his free hand, "I'm off to find a better party."

"Don't hit anyone on the road," Liska hisses at him, and he glances back.

"I like to improve mortals' lives," Dionysus says, halfway through your gate, and extends a hand toward Fred's house. You glance toward it, and see vines twining up its walls, near-bursting grapes sprouting off them.

"Marlene, was it?" he asks to nobody in particular, then gives a terrible grin, "she's got the vines she wanted on that house. AND!" he yells, sweeping his hand, then he winks at you, "I've taken care of another couple of problems. Or couple problems? Ah, fuck it," he says, turning away, "literally." you half-hear, drifting in the wind behind him.

A few seconds later, you hear the engine of a very powerful car, then it drifts into the distance.

>Well, that's Greek gods for ya
>Liska, what did you see?
>Let's check on the aftermath of that ferret fight
>We need a council of war
>Is Jean ok?
>WRITE IN
>>
>WRITE IN
Couple problems? INVESTIGATE
>>
>>2902364
>Well, that's Greek gods for ya

>"I've taken care of another couple of problems. Or couple problems? Ah, fuck it,"

Eh i like Dio.

>Let's check on the aftermath of that ferret fight

I guess Dio knocked out all the "invaders"
>>
>>2902373
i think he means the rest of Superfly team that sneaked into our house while he was distracting us. Or maybe he was just talking about the people in our yard.
>>
>>2902364
>>WRITE IN
>Good riddance
>Let's check on the aftermath of that ferret fight
make sure everyone got patched up properly and such.
>>
>>2902364
>This was supposed to be a nice barbeque. Can we go back to having a normal barbeque?
>>
>>2902381
Maybe we should check the kitchen and the new guys fainted inside our house.
>>
>"I've taken care of another couple of problems. Or couple problems? Ah, fuck it," he says, turning away, "literally."
This is a reference to the "Get the action his wife's been denying him!" line Dionysus had about Fred in the last thread.
It seriously wasn't anything more than that. Dionysus hit it off with Fred, and he did a couple of things to (maybe) make Fred's life better.
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>>2902413
Sure it wasn't Haiku...then we get inside the house and find a bunch of fainted people in our living room because the one holding the invisibility magic fainted.
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>>2902364
"Well," you say, as Liska relaxes her grip, and you step toward the gate, "that's Greek gods for ya."

"Capricious bastards," Rick says from behind you, as you latch the gate, and then look back at the small group in the side yard.

"Very literally, half the time," Liska tells him, then asks, "is Jean ok?"

"I don't know," Rick says, "what the Hell hit you guys? I didn't feel it, and Kelly was fine, so..."

"Don't ask," Liska says.

"Made you see visions?" Kelly asks, still standing tall in the entrance to the backyard proper, and Liska bares her teeth at him.

"Yeah," James tells the group, pulling himself away from the fence, "stuff you might have thought about - but..." he lamely trails off, looking at the ground. Yeah, he saw something he wasn't really comfortable with. Or was all too comfortable with, but doesn't want to admit.

"So just having the title 'Angel Of Death' gives me immunity to that?" Kelly muses, "this is a lot more useful than I thought it would be," he says, half to himself, as he lights a cigarette.

"Right," you say, "this was supposed to be a nice family barbeque, and strategy meeting. Mary ascending forced our hand."

"Reynold forced your hand," Kelly mutters, as Liska slips under Jean's other shoulder, and starts supporting her with Rick, "and you brought his squad down on us?"

"Know your enemies," you tell him, "if they really are enemies. We need to check on the aftermath of that ferret fight. And maybe get this back to a nice, normal barbeque."

"Nothing you touch," James hisses at you, grimacing, then he walks toward the backyard and states over his shoulder, "can ever be normal again."

You don't really have a comeback for that.

Before you've even managed to make it into the backyard proper, Sue spots her mother, and runs over to hug her.

"What happened?" Sue asks, grabbing at the woman supported by a demon and a kitsune, then looking at you for a second before directing her glance back to her mother.

>Let them answer it - you're going to see what's going on with the ferret fight aftermath
>Sue, help them get her on a couch. Bad encounter with a god
>Did anyone else collapse?
>WRITE IN
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>>2902490
>Greek God decided to have a laugh at our expense.
>>
>>2902490
>Sue saw us and her mother and Sue can only watch in horror as our mother have our way with her.
>>
>>2902490
>>Did anyone else collapse?
>>
>>2902490
>Let them answer it - you're going to see what's going on with the ferret fight aftermath
>>
>>2902490
>Liska and I just fucked your mom into a coma
>you want round two?
>>
>>2902490
>Sue, help them get her on a couch. Bad encounter with a god
>Did anyone else collapse?
>James, Kelly, you guys might want the check the rest of Superfly squad that is fainted outside the house. Oh and the kitchen if anyone else fainted near a open flame that could be dangerous.
>>
>>2902490
>>Let them answer it - you're going to see what's going on with the ferret fight aftermath
>>
>>2902490 #
>>Let them answer it - you're going to see what's going on with the ferret fight aftermath
>>
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>>2902490
"A Greek god had a laugh at our expense," you say, looking at the blue-haired girl hugging her mother.

"WHICH?" Sue yells at you, and you can't tell whether that's her voice or the sword's.

"LORD," you hear from the sword at Sue's waist, pounding in through your temples, "DID YOU JUST FLIP OFF A GOD?"

Alright, that was probably just Sue earlier?

"Dionysus," you say, "and he left of his own accord. He, uh..."

"Slammed us with erotic visions," Liska tells Sue mercilessly, with a grin that shows a few too many sharp teeth, "knocked Jean out. So it was just in the side yard," she says, looking at you and Rick, then staring back at Sue with a grin, "you would have been the first to go down if it hit the backyard."

"DON'T DO IT!" you hear the sword's voice in your head, and it's got to be even louder in Sue's, "YOU KNOW SHE'S RIGHT! AAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAA!" the sword screams.

Sue grabs her head, stepping back from her mother, and you can't imagine what that scream is like in there.

Ok, the Thousand Year Blade made a good save there. Nobody else heard that.

"YOU CAN'T BE A CONCUBINE IF YOU KILL HIS WIFE!" you hear reverberating through your cranium. ...Maybe that wasn't a good save.

You see Sue grin.

"Uhhh...." Jean slurs from between Liska and Rick.

"NO," the sword continues, and you hear it as a bare echo, like he's talking to someone other than you, "MARRIAGE ISN'T LIKE THAT! YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM BY KILLING HER! I SWEAR TO EVERYTHING SACRED YOU CANNOT DRAW ME HERE! SHE'S HELPING YOUR MOTHER! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW-"

"Fuck off," you barely hear Sue mutter.

Then Sue draws the Thousand Year Blade and throws it behind her, across the yard in one smooth, deadly motion. The sword impales itself in your back fence, quivering a bit.

It was just luck that nobody happened to be in its path. Fortunately, nobody in the backyard seems to be down.

"That's a bit better," Sue whispers, then looks up at Jean, "hey, mom, you ok?" she asks, stepping forward and putting her hand against Jean's cheek.

"No," Jean whispers, her eyes still shut, "no. I'm not ok."

"Let's get you to a couch," Rick tells her, in a soft voice, then looks at Sue and Liska, "if you two aren't going to kill each other."

>Liska, why don't you come with me? Sue, help your mother
>Sue, why don't you come with me? Liska, I'm not going to do anything
>This is not your scene, bail out and talk to Superfly
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2902701
>>This is not your scene, bail out and talk to Superfly
>>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
Sue's fun in short doses, but once her blood gets up it's time to bail. And we need to check on everyone else.
>>
>>2902701
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
>Write in:"Missed you buddy."
>Sue, why don't you come with me? Liska, I'm not going to do anything

After Sue and her mother talk last time they might want a time out from each other.
>>
>>2902718
Don't leave the easily taunt teen near our wife that is in heat.
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>>2902724
If we do go with Sue, drop the
>I'm not going to do anything
We've trusted her, let her trust us. Plus it sounds sketchy.
>>
>>2902701
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what’s been going on
I think Sue just had a ‘get the fuck out of my head!’ moment there.

‘Just because someone thinks about it doesn’t mean they’ll do it’ is almost a minor theme of the quest at this point. Certainly of this ‘arc’
>>
>>2902701
>>2902746
Adding
>Liska, why don’t you come with me?
to that vote. Makes more sense to let Sue help her mom, if we have to pull someone away
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I think I'm going to bed now. Hopefully I'll be running when I get up tomorrow.

And hopefully, I didn't disappoint anyone with the finish to the Dionysus thing. The trend from last thread seemed to be for him to get out, and that made more sense as an 'under his own power/volition' thing than a 'GTFO!', as several folks pointed out last thread.
>>2902718
>>2902720
>>2902803
I think that's an even split between walking away, taking Liska, and taking Sue currently? (And everyone wants the sword back.)

Geez, you guys do not make this easy.

Luckily the Australians will doubtlessly break this tie overnight.

>>2902746
>I think Sue just had a ‘get the fuck out of my head!’ moment
That's what I think happened as well. The MC only heard one side of that conversation, and the Sengoku Spook tends to put his own interpretations on things.
>>
>>2902829
As an australian, I shall do my part

>>2902701
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
>Sue, why don't you come with me? Liska, I'm not going to do anything
>>
>>2902701
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
>Sue, why don't you come with me? Liska, I'm not going to do anything
>>
>>2902701 #
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
>Sue, why don't you come with me? Liska, I'm not going to do anything
>>
>>2902701 #
Love the quest mate but how bout you fuck off, calling us good natured upside down cunts out like that. It’s not our fault you bloody yanks are on he wrong side of the world.

>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
>Sue, why don't you come with me? Liska, I'm not going to do anything
>>
>>2902829
>>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
She probably has a light "buzz" from Dio that gave her some urges but she wasn't actually going through with it. Might be an early onset sign of madness because Dio is much weaker outside of Greece. We should get that checked out at the same time that we have "the talk" with her about us clearly having differing views on the whole thing.
>>
>>2903381
This is why you proofread. my laptop voted on it's own. I hadn't even picked anything.
I guess it's a Sue fan?
>Ask Supafly if he has any experts on treating a madness god migrane or send somebody to ask that. We don't want any lingering side effects.
>>
>>2902701
>>This is not your scene, bail out and talk to Superfly
>>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)

I still have the idea that sue still wants to fuck us, but now she's waiting until she is legal.
>>
>>2903640
That's a success in my book.
>>
>>2902701
>Liska, why don't you come with me? Sue, help your mother
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
Secure wife for safety reasons, then interrogate sword (but don't let the fox milf know).
>>
>>2902701
>>Liska, why don't you come with me? Sue, help your mother
>secure thousand year blade

I feel like we're pushing Sue and her mom into incest but i don't think I care.
>>
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>>2902701
"Sue," you say, "let's take a walk."

Liska glares at you, and you mouth 'not gonna do anything' at her. This whole heat thing has been a weird contradiction between 'anything that moves' and extreme possessiveness.

Well, that's sort of an amplified version of how she's been after she stopped hiding what she really was from you.

"We're gonna take care of her," Rick tells the blue-haired girl, stretching out his free hand a couple of inches toward her head, then pulling it back.

The demon's flaming eyes meet yours, and you get the feeling that you'd have a very large set of problems if you took Sue up on her offers. A set of problems with horns and a weird hand.

Sue looks at you, the fringe of her bangs hiding her eyes, her fingertips still brushing Jean's face, and says "let's not," then looks back up at her mother and asks "you need some water?"

"That sounds good," Jean mutters, her eyes still tightly shut. Seems like she got hit hardest by whatever Dionysus pulled.

"I'm going to help," Sue tells Rick, staring at the demon, and you glance back at Liska. That's a rather complicated expression on her face.

You'd kind of expected Sue to just go along with you, and you're a bit nervous about leaving her to go with Liska, but you've never been happier to be turned down by a girl - and Rick's decent ballast, right?

"Can you three handle it?" you ask.

"Obviously," Liska hisses as she helps Rick and Sue support Jean along toward the back door.

You sigh.

But, as you think about it, pacing across your lawn toward the sword embedded in your back fence, while you're not entirely sure why Liska seems mad at you, you can respect Sue for going to take care of her mother.

Hell. You booked a goddamn flight to Florida when you heard yours had collapsed.

Then you grab the sword's hilt and start pulling it out of the fence, while watching the odd foursome helping Jean in the back door.

"GOOD EVENING, LORD," you hear in your head, in the sword's unmistakable tones.

"Missed you, buddy," you think back at it.

>So what was that conversation earlier?
>Sometimes, engaging with someone's passing thoughts makes them stick worse
>So I hear you've become a snuggly stuffed-animal stand-in?
>How has your sojourn been?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2904417
It didn't occur to me until now, but given the random nature of Dio's madness leakage Sue being the first face she sees after waking up in a bed might not be comforting to her.
>>
>>2904507
>>Sometimes, engaging with someone's passing thoughts makes them stick worse
>>So I hear you've become a snuggly stuffed-animal stand-in?
huh. Glad to see she's not completely off the rails.
>>
>>2904507
>Discretion is advised next time. Please read the damn mood before you do any telepathic shouting or talking. telepathic shouting only helps to a certain point before it ruins everything when more than one person can hear you scream. Same goes with Sengoku metaphors. Which is why Sue threw you at the fence.
>Have you been acting as a stand-in "dad" for Sue?
If sword says yes. Dispense dad-advice about learning how to let go and recognize when the kid has matured to a point where he/she is now self-reliable.
>>
>>2904507
>How has your sojourn been?



I'm starting to wonder if Sue was high when we first met her. Her imagination runs extremely wild.
>>
>>2904507
>Sometimes, engaging with someone's passing thoughts makes them stick worse
>So I hear you've become a snuggly stuffed-animal stand-in?
>WRITE IN:"So what do you think about our new visitors(superfly crew)?"
>>
>>2904507
>>Sometimes, engaging with someone's passing thoughts makes them stick worse
>>So I hear you've become a snuggly stuffed-animal stand-in?
>>
>>2904507
>>How has your sojourn been?

>>2904531
Exactly my line of thought. She also has to know how hard her daughter wants to bang us by now. I find it incredibly hot.

>>2904542
I feel like that was all engineered to force Sue to throw it away and decide for herself. It warned against going against Liska, not due to power but due to honor. It also knows we just challenged a god and likely has some thoughts it wants to share with us alone.
>>
>>2904562
She was high on bloodlust.
>>
>>2904573
I was thinking more along the incest route+ got shown to her and before she realizes it was an illusion and while still groggy she wakes up to see Sue in front of her. Just a good 30+ seconds of going Oh god what the hell did I do last night.
>>
>>2904582
I feel like she's now become aware of how much both she and her daughter want to bang us, and that idea is more attractive than she'd like.
>>
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>>2904507
"I AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT, LORD," the sword says, as you try levering it back and forth in the crack.

Jeez, Sue really slammed him in there. You're never arm-wrestling her.

"I heard you've become a snuggly stuffed animal stand-in?" you think at it, still try to work the sword free, "how was that sojourn?"

"THE MOST NIGHTS I HAVE EVER SPENT IN ONE GIRL'S BED," you hear in your head, with a faint echo of laughter, "BUT WE HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION BEFORE. IT IS THEIR RIGHT TO TELL YOU - OR NOT. UNLESS YOU ORDER ME. ASIDE FROM THAT, I HAVE LEARNED MANY THINGS. THEY HAVE LEARNED FROM ME. WE HAVE SLAUGHTERED DEMONS, AND SHE IS A BETTER WIELDER THAN YOU COULD EVER BE."

"You know how a good swordsman doesn't break his sword?" you think, as you plant your foot against the fence and wrench the sword free - you're going to have to fix that eventually.

"YES?" the sword asks you, as you shove it through your belt.

"You know why she threw you away?" you think at it, shoving the naked blade through your belt.

No response.

"Sometimes," you think at the sword, "engaging with stray thoughts makes them stick worse. You were a man once?"

"YES," the sword's voice says in your head, "AND WHAT A MAN I WA-"

"I'm guessing you lusted after women, had some stray thoughts about challenging a couple of lords just for their wives or daughters? Something like that?" you think, and the upside of psychic communication is that you don't have to bother taking a breath, "taking a cute village girl? Things you never did - but thought about. The sort of shit that flits across your mind for a moment, and then it's gone? What if you had someone in your head, arguing about each of those things, making you discuss and think more about that stray thought?"

Silence, again, as you turn away from the fence and walk back toward the center of the backyard.

"I think you've been a good influence on her," you think, "but there's a limit to everything. A good swordsman shouldn't break his sword, but a good sword can't break their swordsman. Swordswoman. Whatever. You get my drift?"

"I WAS TRYING TO DEFEND YOUR WIFE," the sword says into your head.

"And you didn't trust Sue to keep that impulse just a thought?" you think at it.

"I... I... PERHAPS," you hear in your head, "I DID NOT. DO YOU TRUST HER?"

>as far as I can throw her
>more than you
>yes
>what do you think about our visitors?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2904775
>yes
>>
>>2904775
>>as far as I can throw her
Sue's not a bad kid, but her head isn't on straight. It'd trust her in a fight, but not much outside of one.
>>
>>2904775
>yes
>what do you think about our visitors?
>>
>>2904775
> I trust her to be a horny, hormonal, dumbass teenager. Which I trust myself to handle. If you don't trust her though, then you and her are done.
>>
>>2904788
Eh she is a little better now.
>>
>>2904562
>>2904574
we shot her with love infused magic too.
>>
>>2904775
>>yes
Sue seems significantly more mature than at the start
>>
>>2904775
>>WRITE IN
>Yes. She might have some mental issues, but she is a good girl deep down.
>>
>>2904775
I trust her enough to let her keep wielding you. I think she has enough sense to understand what impulses are bad ideas.
I'm also more than a bit concerned about why she thinks limb amputation is some sort of mating strut. That doesn't say nice things about whatever guys she knew before me.
>>
>>2904775
>As much as a horny teenager who vents her stress by going frilly and on a bloodlust rampage. But she's got her mom in on her secret now. She's slowly putting that loose head of hers back onto her head straight. You can feel it don't you?

>Have I ever told you I once trusted her as long as I had my shotgun in hand? Sue had to be violently restrained by Mary and Melon whenever I was around. And that was one month ago. And now? I trust her with you being able to guide her and coach her when to not fly off the handle.

>Tell me, has Sue ever gone off the handle and drowned herself in kills and demon blood> end up killing herself in the very end? Just like your previous owners?
>>
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>>2904775
"Yes," you think at the sword, "well, I trust her to be a honry, hormonal dumbass teenager, which is about as much as I trust my family right now. But I feel like I can trust them to at least think twice. Which is more than I can say for a few wizards, and some of the rest of this basket of basket cases."

"I AM ONE OF THOSE MELODRAMATIC FOOLS," you hear inside your head, "NEUROTIC TO THE BONE, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!"

"I trusted her enough to let her hold you, and if you can't trust her," you think, wondering about Sue's taste in music, and what bleedover that's had into the sword, "then you don't deserve to be held by her - what swordswoman should hold a sword that doesn't trust her?"

"THAT USUALLY ENDS VERY BADLY," the sword says, "I TRUST HER, BUT IN A DIFFERENT WAY. I TRUST SHE WILL COAT ME IN BLOOD. AND SHE HAS."

"Look," you think, "I'm concerned about a girl that seems to think violence is a 'love language'. Hell, I'm concerned about a girl who thinks alcohol is the perfect anesthetic. About one that thinks fucking a minotaur is how to deal with her problems, and - I'm not going to go into my family situation."

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO," the sword intones inside your head, "LORD."

You're not sure if that means he's seen enough of it to know, or if he's just acquiescing.

"I'm not going to ask you," you think at the sword, "what you've seen in her head, but I think she's a bit more mature than when I met her. I think you helped her. I think you could destroy her, accidentally. I think you probably have a better idea about that family than I do. And I think she threw you because you fucked that up."

"EVERYONE'S GOT THEIR CHAINS TO BREAK - SHE WAS BORN TO RESIST, NOT BE ABUSED," the sword says straight into your mind, and now you're really wondering about Sue's taste in music and how much it infected the sword, "I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME WHEN I AM CLOSE TO TO YOU. WOULD YOU HAVE TRUSTED HER IF SHE HADN'T THROWN ME AWAY THEN? IF YOU THOUGHT HER DECISION WAS ON MY ADVICE ALONE?"

Did he bait her into throwing him away? Is everyone playing games with you?

"WE ARE ALL PLAYING GAMES," you hear in your head, "EVEN US PAWNS ARE PLAYING OUR OWN GAMES."

>Speaking of games, what about our guests tonight?
>I think I get it. Thanks for watching out for her - I think she's a good kid
>Has she gone off the handle with you? While I was out?
>Do you think she's managed to screw her head on a bit straighter?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2905009
>>I think I get it. Thanks for watching out for her - I think she's a good kid
>>
>>2905009

>I think I get it. Thanks for watching out for her - I think she's a good kid
>Speaking of games, what about our guests tonight?
>>
>>2905009
>Speaking of games, what about our guests tonight?
>I think I get it. Thanks for watching out for her - I think she's a good kid
>>
>>2905009
>I think I get it. Thanks for watching out for her - I think she's a good kid
>Speaking of games, what about our guests tonight?
>>
>>2905009
Thanks for watching out for her even if you refuse to admit it.
Speaking of watching out, what of our guests tonight?
>>
>>2905009
>>Speaking of games, what about our guests tonight?
>>
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>>2905009
"I think I get it," you think, "even if you made your point with an anvil."

"THAT IS HOW SWORDS ARE FORGED," you hear in your head, and you wish the Sengoku spook's reverberating voice had inflections for humor, "UNFORTUNATELY, THAT'S JUST HOW I AM IN THIS FORM - YOU HAVE TO INTERPRET SARCASM YOURSELF."

You're not sure how wide the samurai's spirit is grinning within the blade. And you bet it learned 'sarcasm' as a term from Sue.

"Thanks for watching out for her," you think, "even if you don't admit admit it."

"SOMETIMES THE BABY BIRD IS THROWN FROM THE NEST," reverberates through your temples, "SOMETIMES THE BABY BIRD THROWS THE NEST DOWN FROM THE TREE."

That's either a very zen idea, a weird comment on what Sue did earlier, or the sword's fucking with you. There are way too many people fucking with you right now.

Metaphorically.

"I think she's a good kid," you think at the sword, "you saw her go help her mother instead of coming after me."

"THAT WAS WORTH ANGERING YOUR WIFE," you feel pulse through your temples, "JUST TO LET SUE DEMONSTRATE WHAT SHE FEELS FOR HER MOTHER. SO, ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE FUCKING WITH YOU."

"I was about to ask your opinion," you think, realizing that the sword can read your surface thoughts as long as you have him on you, "even pawns are playing games, hey? So, what do you think of our guests tonight?"

"I WOULD ENJOY BEING THE SWORD THAT PUT A GOD DOWN FOR GOOD," you hear in your head, "BUT THAT OPPORTUNITY'S GONE. BERNIE IS RATHER CORDIAL, AS BEFITS AN EQUAL LORD. BUT HIS VASSALS: ANGUS IS WITH US, OR AT LEAST WITH KAREN. THAT PRIEST IS LIKE NONE I'VE SEEN, EVEN WHEN THEY WERE SCREAMING."

That's a chapter of Japanese history you didn't want to think about right now.

"BUT YOU WERE REALLY WONDERING ABOUT YOUR OLD FRIEND AND HIS GROUP, WEREN'T YOU?" the sword pipes into your head, "THAT'S TRICKY. IT'S LIKE THE SHOGUN SENT HIS EMISSARIES TO A LORD WHO DIDN'T PAY HIS TAXES."

Something like that.

"BUT HE IS YOUR GUEST," the sword continues, "AND YOUR FRIEND. PERSONAL LOYALTY IS THE GREATEST LOYALTY. COULD NOBUNAGA HAVE UNITED JAPAN WITHOUT HIDEYOSHI?"

It's been a long walk back toward the center of the backyard, but it seems the ferret fight, celebration, and medical treatment have wound down a bit. And everyone's ok.

"That sword's quite the fashion statement," Superfly says, looking at you as Freebles rushes to perch on your shoulder, "the shirtless-with-bandages thing too. You're gonna have to tell me what got you. I bet the chicks go wild for it!"

>My wife got me. Well, I got her too...
>I think we had some negotiations about ASATs or something to do?
>Supermax doing ok?
>Jesus, someone get me a jacket, please
>Having a fun night so far?
>>
>>2905214
>My wife got me. Well, I got her too...
>Supermax doing ok?
>>
>>2905214
>>My wife got me.
>Supermax doing ok?
>Having a fun night so far?

I'm kinda tempted to offer to let him hold it.
>>
>>2905214
>And that's how I met my wife.
>Having a fun night so far?
>All of this is making me rather hungry. Is the food ready yet?
>>
>>2905214
>Having a fun night so far?
>Supermax doing ok?
>Jesus, someone get me a jacket, please

No write in option?
>>
>>2905214
>My wife got me. Well, I got her too...
>Supermax doing ok?
>Jesus, someone get me a jacket, please
>Having a fun night so far?
>>
>>2905214
Additional option: >WRITE IN
>>2905251
>No write in option?
WRITE IN is always an option unless stated otherwise. I was up against character limits, and forgot to pitch it in. Sorry.
>>
>>2905275
>Write: in: It's getting chilly, let me go get a jacket/shirt. And the food should be ready by now.
>>
>>2905275
>>2905251
>>2905214
Changing to this: >>2905279

Honestly don't want to have Superfly knowing about the wife. Also our assistant and his girlfriend are missing.
>>
>>2905214
>Family heirloom
>Supermax and Freebles doing ok?
>I think the distractions might finally be over. I need a jacket. Let's get grilling if Shelby didn't beat us to the punch. We need to teach your kids about proper grilling.
>>
>>2905286
He'd better show up to work on Monday. We need our Greek translator.
>>
>>2905214
>>2905241
second
>>
I swear I'm writing right now. Write-ins considered if I see them, but votes are basically locked.

>>2905286
>our assistant and his girlfriend are missing.
Last the MC saw them, they were being rather amorous in the hallway to the garage. I'm not sure that's changed much since then.
Humorously, Superfly didn't even bother checking on Reynold after he walked into the house.
>>2905306
>He'd better show up to work on Monday. We need our Greek translator.
I think it's still Thursday night. There's still one more workday before the weekend!
>>
>>2905214
> And that's how I met my wife.

> So do you want to tell me why you came, or do you want to negotiate about ASATS?

> Alternatively, March on Sengoku is always an option. Always. That's my life now.
>>
>>2905316
>>2905317
1 min too late.
>>
>>2905314
Yes, and? I was talking about our assistant.
>>
>>2905323
Yea, I misread.
>>
In retrospect, we need to ask supafly if he knows any tricks to removing residual Dionysus madness. We don't need those sorts of dreams we had last night to come back.
>>
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>>2905214
"Yeah," you say, "I do need a jacket. It's a bit chilly out here. The sword's a family heirloom."

...and you're getting far more stares than you want from several magical girls. Ok, you work out, but you're not THAT good-looking!

"You know I'd give you the clothes off my back, man," Superfly drawls, "but we're not exactly on the same team here. So I'm not giving up my kevlar."

You smile at him, "I know it's not yours to give," you say, looking him in the eyes, "it's your team's. Hey," you say, looking around the backyard, "anyone got a jacket or something that'll fit me?"

Rob strips his jacket off and throws it at you. Freebles has to scramble as you sling it on, and ends up clinging to one of the many unnecessary buckles as you pull it over your shoulders. Surprisingly, Rob's are almost as broad as yours. Then Freebles scrambles back up to his perch on your shoulder.

"I'm going to need that back eventually," Rob says, smirking, "eldest brother."

"You'll get it back," you tell him.

"That's," Rachel says, intoning like a movie critic, lounging in her seat at a picnic table, "actually a lot more devastating than when you were just stripped to the waist."

You glance at W fast enough to catch his dad glare. That's completely on his daughter! You were just trying to get warm. He could have given you his jacket!

Also, if Rob's coat looks good on you, you're never going to understand fashion.

"It's more the bandages under it," Shirley tells her sister, as if she's critiquing camerawork, and W's dad glare redoubles. Yeah, that's not your problem. And they're both joking, right?

"I SEE SEVERAL CONCUBINES IN THE MAKING HERE," the sword says into your head.

"Well," you think, "you've got a screwed-up way of seeing the world. I'm not in the market. I'm just glad they're getting along!"

"Supermax doing alright?" you ask Superfly, as he tries to stifle a laugh.

"I'm great," the ferret says, poking his head out of one of Superfly's jacket pockets. It was meant to hold ammunition, but a magical ferret's far higher-powered ammunition than anything it's seen before.

"Freebles?" you ask, looking up at your shoulder, "you fine, bro?"

"Never better, bro," Freebles says, "damn good match," he tells the other ferret, "Sam. Max. Sam'n'Max. Supermax. Really not sure what to call you."

"They aren't either," 'Supermax' says, as he swarms up onto Superfly's shoulder, "it was fun, though."

"Having fun so far?" you ask Superfly, and the two members of his team standing behind him.

"Well, yeah," he says, then his eyes narrow, "but I want to have this ASAT discussion before I eat your bread and salt."

>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam
>You're probably operating a couple yourself
>Search my property for any supervillain device that could do that - but there are a couple of rooms you shouldn't go in for family reasons
>The 'ASAT' is a person. And I'm not giving her up
>I think this is a dinner table conversation
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2905393

>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam
>>
>>2905393
>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam
>You're probably operating a couple yourself, behind you, right now
>>
>>2905393
>>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam
>>
>>2905393
>>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam
>>
>>2905393
How many Final Fantasies are we, on a scale of 0 to Nier Gestalt?
>>
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>>2905393
>You're probably operating a couple yourself.

Could we claim it was Melon, and also diplomatic immunity?

Nier Daddy 2.0
>>
>>2905393
Sounds like a table talk and we might also need Madison to be up and alert instead of reading a book.
>And what is you definition of ASAT in this case?
>We have no weapons designed to hit any satellites, no intention to do so now, in the past, or in the future unless it turns out the moon is crashing in 3 days. Likewise with anything concerning any form of aggression towards the US government unless they intend to SEVERELY impede upon our rights as US citizens.
If he tries to say the girls are ASATS.
>I REFUSE to let you or anyone else consider a bunch of children as nothing more than weapons. *Dad Glare* We saw enough of that shit in the jungles for several of their lifetimes.

>And if you should be investigating anything it should be those damn rats stockpiling energy for the damn apocalypse in front of your damn faces.
> I think your chucklefuck demon superiors should also try and do some damn research to notice that my mother in law is Japan's fastest rising land god, her family traditionally owns the entire Japanese government, my sister is the soon to be queen of Hell, my boss probably owns more countries than they do,we're all connected to what is probably a reasonably powerful god that probably has this city as her earthly place of power if you listened to that mic,Kelly is the angel of death (and that title might have just become much more literal), at least half a dozen wizards are here, we killed a duke of hell trying to invade the city last week, several Greek gods seem to be arguing over who's my patron, and I'm a father trying to protect his daughter. I am the archduke Ferdinand of this situation. Do not set things off that aren't aimed at you. I have a goddamn apocalypse to cancel like that movie guy I bet you're gonna say was based on you and I do not need a bunch of stupid bullshit fights I don't want getting in the damn way.
>Also possible write in. Tap freebles with the sword to relay a message to get ready those contracts without those pesky drawbacks limiters he was working on. If they want a fight we're going with enough overwheling force to hopefully stop them without any deaths.
>>
>>2905444
Feel free to add whatever military lingo I absolutely do not recall to my trips.
>>
>they were being rather amorous in the hallway to the garage

And that is another couple/relationship together thanks to us.
>>
>>2905423
Only if you want the spooks after our kid.
>>
>>2905393
>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam

The second option is admiting we even have a ASAT. Searching the propety might have then checking our garage/ammunition workshop and i don't know the laws about that.
>>
>>2905393
>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam
>>
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>>2905393
"I happened to get pulled over for a missing brakelight that night," you say, "I believe you've checked the records."

"And I just saw your wife and the chief of police help someone who I THINK is a police officer into the house together," Superfly says, "if there's one thing that hasn't changed from back in the day," he tells you, "it's that I don't give a shit about what the paperwork says. So," he continues, glaring at you, "Deuce, what's going on? Are you really operating an ASAT?"

Yeah, you remember that.

"Are you operating ASATs?" you ask.

That one hits home. You get a slight twinge out of his lip. He only ever had so much of a poker face.

"I happen to be a man whose daughter decided to be a magical girl," you say, "and who married a kitsune after a drunken spree in San Diego. I don't regret that second part. What, did you think I was some suburban M. Bison with a Shadaloo? You think I'm trying to build fuckin' Outer Heaven here? (You played the shit out of those games on the base TV, didn't you?) You think I'm about to play Tetsuo to your Kaneda? (And we watched that tape until it wore out - remember when that private thought it was porn?)"

"That was damn funny," Superfly says, but can't quite bring himself to laugh, "poor guy. He really got gypped on that tape. But, even if you're none of that, and I don't have a laser gun, I think you might be a real threat to national security. Even if you don't have a damn Metal Gear," he finishes, with a twisted grin.

"No more a threat than the demons you're working for," you tell him, as you see people spiraling in around the two of you, like vultures over the desert, or sharks that smell blood in the water, "you should be deep enough in to know what's going on."

"It's been fishy," Superfly says, "but it's always fishy when you're swimming in the deep end of the alphabet ocean."

"It's a lot more than 'fishy', Superfly," you say, "hey, Supermax, how do you get your numbers right with your bosses, again? Where did those demons come from?"

The question hangs in the air, and you can't read Superfly's expression behind those glasses.

>I need Rick out here for an object lesson in government officials
>I am not operating a weapon capable of taking out satellites. You can search my house, if you want
>Come on man (put your hand on Superfly's shoulder), you know what we're dealing with here
>Let's eat. The stuff on the grill should be done, and if your guys inside are half as good as you, we've got some great sides!
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2905477
>>I need Rick out here for an object lesson in government officials
>>
>>2905477
>WRITE IN:"Yeah i figured it was something like that."

>Let's eat. The stuff on the grill should be done, and if your guys inside are half as good as you, we've got some great sides!
>>
>>2905444
Dont reveal anything more than we have to.
>>
>>2905477
>>I need Rick out here for an object lesson in government officials
>>
>>2905477
> All I'm doing is looking after my kid, and trying to find a way to get the others OUT of the game. Definitely not looking to get them further stuck in. If you have a magic wand to wave and fix that shit, then pass it 'round.

> But I'm not the one showing up with a bunch of children on a Government leash, with a rat that looks mighty close to being a slave. I wonder how much of that "Freedom" we fought for those kids are getting.

> Meanwhile I'm fighting off Demons, Gods, and teenage hormones. You think that I want to pick a fight with Uncle Sam on top of that? What the hell would be the point.
>>
>>2905498
>>2905477
TL;DR We aren't weaponizing kids. Can he say the same?
>>
>>2905444
There's a lot of good stuff in this, and I worked a bit of it in, but most of it, particularly:
>I REFUSE to let you or anyone else consider a bunch of children as nothing more than weapons
seems to be fodder for if the MC REALLY has to have a debate with this guy.
>>2905490
>Dont reveal anything more than we have to.
I do try to write with that idea in mind.
>>
>>2905477
>I need Rick out here for an object lesson in government officials
>>
>>2905456
I thought those two were together before we met them? And he still doesn’t know she’s a fairy?
>>2905477
>>2905487
Seconding. Let’s not force the issue, just let him think about it.
>>
>>2905477
>“In hindsight i have prevented tw... three? Several apoccalyptic occurences. My sister is nearly the queen of hell, we have connections with a new goddess who may have this city as her domain, there are a HELL of a lot of wizards and magical girls here, my wife and daughter are kitsune, my brother in law basically owns japan, and i have an angel of death on my side. I don’t even want to get into how some of the greek gods seem to be fighting over who gets to be my biggest patron. I just want to be able to sit down and have a normal dinner for once, so we are going in, and we are tabling this until after desert.”
>>
>>2905518
She had two secrets. She is a fae and also a assassin/hired mercenary.
So i don't exactly blame then for not knowing everything about each other. Not like we can say much seeing who we end up marrying.
>>
>>2905524
No need to tell we are associated to a duchess of hell. That is saying to much.
>>
>>2905490
Don't HAVE to say everything, but the reason archduke Ferdinand being assassinated devolved into WWI was noone realizing just how big the giant snarl of alliances was gonna get if he dies. Supafly is dealing with crap not remotely in his job description and whatever passes for the intelligence gathering didn't bother to do even a basic background check on us to notice that we were friends with him.
I don't recall what the exact military term for this is but it most definitely qualifies for a FUBAR somewhere no matter how competent Supafly and his team might possibly be. It's not a threat from us. it's pointing out that his idiot bosses don't know what the hell they're doing or aiming them at.
Plus the shot back about the rats starting an apocalypse (which they clearly don't know since he hasn't even had Max checked out by a wizard) should tell him and anyone else above him that maybe they should be asking us for info (or looking into that for info) instead of letting the end of all creation start due to sheer incompetence. NotGendo is probably gonna get reamed for that if post apocalypse it turned out we knew of this all along but he sent a team that prevented us from stopping it. it'll make it turning out that the US government got warnings for 9/11 but forgot about it until after 9/11 look like a child sitting on a whoopee cushion. So the problem here is that it might look like a threat but it's actually us trash talking the shit out of Supafly's bosses.
>>2905532
You do realize he saw our sister? Elanor is clearly fairly notorious as well since Bernie knew about her the instant we said our sister's name. All of this stuff is an extremely basic background check that an alphabet agency is "supposed" to be capable of doing. Any one of the misc things about us should have made supafly go off on his coworkers for trying to send him to die.
We don't need to do a long rant. But telling him to not do such a sloppy recon job is in order somewhere. If it was anyone other than him he could have been killed trying to attack a bunch of children.
>>
>>2905524
Don’t give Harriet’s looping shit away.
Only give away who we’re related to if totally necessary. It seems like this is an information asymmetry game.
>>
>>2905537
Sounds like a lot of assumptions of your part. Outsuxe of her clothing and the fact she was fainted in our living room Superfly didn't saw our sister entering the room from a hell portal.
>>
>>2905541
She only got carried away by a giant demon fox while covered in blood, and wearing whatever the hell her demonic blood-drenching bikini outfit that she wears for war is and we said she was our sister. Nothing suspicious there at all.
>>
>>2905545
>>2905541
>>2905545
Plus we kind of told assistant that she was a duchess of hell at least a day or two ago.
They HAVE all of this information but were too stupid to think twice or possibly even look once. Supafly was sent into a deathtrap
>>
>>2905548
>>2905541
The more you make me examine the whole situation the more I wonder if they weren't being tricked into a suicide mission. They got sent to scope out and possibly attack/assassinate the little sibling of a known (or at least reported back to the HQ) Duchess of hell. Tricking a squad into personally pissing off a duke of hell when we're the first humans to ever win against one sure as hell sounds like the entire squad was written off as expendable.
>>
>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam
>>
>>2905477
>“In hindsight i have prevented tw...
three? Several apoccalyptic occurences. My sister is nearly the queen of hell, we have connections with a new goddess who may have this city as her domain, there are a HELL of a lot of wizards and magical girls here, my wife and daughter are kitsune, my brother in law basically owns japan, and i have an angel of death on my side. I don’t even want to get into how some of the greek gods seem to be fighting over who gets to be my biggest patron. I just want to be able to sit down and have a normal dinner for once, so we are going in, and we are tabling this until after desert.”

Copied the wrong one...
>>
>>2905506
Yeah. it was a bit of an insurance depending on how the next few posts went. The situation seemed a bit volatile since he thinks we're a threat and we insist we aren't one but cant trust his bosses to not want "something" done.
>>
>>2905582
Depends mostly if their bosses are like Rick. In another words just demons that want to live in the human world and feed on the humans emotions.

Or if they are the ones thay want to control humans and conquer both hell and earth.
>>
>>2905580
Ah also my boss is at least a thousand year old dragon.
>>
>>2905585
The situation would be the same if they weren't demons. This is an agency that's supposed to be doing very illegal and unethical crap out of the pubic eye.
Rick's boss was a duke so even if we consider Rick to be fairly mundane his true superior certainly wasn't nice. The same applies to whatever demons Supafly works for.

>>2905477
Rick. Please explain what you know about government officials.
>>
>>2905594
What did happen with Ricks superior anyway? Did the other guy killed him?
>>
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>>2905477
"Figured it was something like that," you finally say, and you see Bernie grinning out of the corner of your eye, part of the circle forming around the two of you, "look, I think the barbeque's probably done, and if your team's half as good as you, we've got some great sides too."

"They're not even half as good as me," Superfly says, "look," he tells you and sighs, "Deuce, I can't eat your bread and salt until we iron this out," and he looks around the circle, "I see probably three wizards, a priest, and at least one witch - you all know what I mean, right?" he asks the world in general.

"There's only reason a man doesn't eat his host's bread and salt," Bernie says in a low voice, showing a few too many sharp teeth.

You can almost feel the tension rise, and you glance around the circle yourself.

They're marking targets, or you're a tadpole. Rob and 'Ace' are staring at each other like they want to cast the other guy other down from heaven. 'Mach's eyes are flitting between the people behind and around you as if she can't decide who's the biggest threat. Or the words "target rich environment" are going through her head.

"Two," Superfly tells the dragon, out of the side of his mouth, "one of them is keeping options open. I don't know what you have set up here."

"Nothing that triggers on that," you say, then look at W and James, "unless you guys have been doing something behind my back."

"Not really my thing," W says, swishing his wine in that eternal glass, "I think even the big containment circle got washed away. We got a lot of rain the other night."

"Not my style," James says, spreading his arms, "look, I've got enough people after my guts. Although I do get what what you're saying about hospitality."

"Superfly," you say, "all I'm doing is looking after my daughter. And her friends. And my wife. And... a fairly large extended family. Trying to get my daughter out of the game. Not getting anyone further in. If you've got a magic wand or pipe that can fix that, pass it around."

"You know this isn't that kind of circle," Superfly says, then grins at you, "so how long until they start chanting 'FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!'?"

"The ferrets," you say, jerking your head at Freebles and Supermax, "had to do it. We don't. Hell, I wanted you over for a barbeque and a nice chat. Didn't want it to end up this way, but do you want to see the true form of our government?"

"We've both seen it," Superfly says, "if you're about to show me the chief of police or the mayor is really a demon or something," then he sighs, "yeah, my job's not just fishy, it's the belly of the whale."

"So relax a bit, like we planned," you tell him, "hell, we went through all that to get our ferrets squared, and you won't even eat with us?"

"Hey, Deuce," Superfly says, "as a friend, what did kill those satellites?"

[1/2]
>>
>>2905601
[2/2]
>Dunno. I don't have any weapon that could do that
>There was an ...accident during a magical girl fight
>Obviously it was a dragon or something
>Why are you this determined if you know the job's so fishy?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2905601
>Dunno. I don't have any weapon that could do that
>Writein: "The keyword is the 'weapon' word by the way."
>>
And with that, I'm out for the night. Hopefully I'll see you all again tomorrow.

There have been some really interesting theories and such in this thread.

Twitter for runtimes: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge
Archive if you didn't catch the link earlier: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Shotgun

As usual, questions/comments/death threats/etc. on this post may be gotten to.

>>2905598
>What did happen with Ricks superior anyway? Did the other guy killed him?
Rick swore loyalty (not brotherhood) to the MC instants before Ellie murdered Focalor (Rick's former boss. Well, probably his boss' boss' boss' boss).
One of the things we haven't gotten into yet is what the effects of Ellie's conquests are on the demons embedded on earth.
>>
>>2905605
>"The keyword is the 'weapon' word by the way."
I had planned on writing that option with that sort of implication.
>>
>>2905609
Yeah i just decided to put a write in to make sure the slower posters get it too. If superfly doesn't get it then he doesn't deserve to be in the military.

Some people outside of it always see the common soldier more as a weapon rather then a person.
>>
>>2905601
>Laser mishap, can't really say from what
>>
>>2905601
>Dunno. I don't have any weapon that could do that
>>
>>2905601
>Dunno. I don't have any weapon that could do that
>>
>>2905602
>Dunno. I don't have any weapon that could do that
>Why are you this determined if you know the job's so fishy?
>>
>>2905602
A big stupid accident with an absurd amount of dumb luck. If it was that easy to take down a satellite then I think you would have taken an entire country off the grid via accident by now after shotgunning a bottle of teqilla.
>>
>>2905602
>>2905775
This
>>
>>2905775
>>2905781
>>2905636
You guys do realize that they are most likely wired too right? I mean even Superfly admited that not all of his crew was with him here.

This will also be pushed to Superfly superiors who will try to target our magical girl that is able to knockout a satelite.
>>
>>2905787
His superiors have a decent chance of being unable to take us if they don't actually pull a military style airstrike on a US city. There may be ranks above Duke, but Ellie alone is kind of destined to kill their asses while we only grow stronger. Unless Ace the hardware place is secretly strong enough to take out a duke+ tier, us and Sue's mom are the only people they can actually win/kill.
Their research is so ramshackle that we could probably bribe half the kids with the prospect of a fair contract rewrite alone.
I notice that Assistant didn't even manage to pass on to Supafly that Bernie is a dragon. That theory about them actually trying to kill supafly or being just that incompetent is really starting to gain traction.
>>
>>2905810
Maybe. Still we shouldn't give everything we have so easily. We still have people, no, a family to protect.
>>
>>2905813
He did ask as a friend. If he's wired they will also quickly learn the whole archduke Ferdinand thing.

>>2905608
It would be hilarious if she actually "owned" America and didn't realize it but I was figuring that there would be a higher ranked demon that has those properties.
>>
>>2905819
>>2905608

Shit, Belphegor is a prince. She might legitimately own America by now if she's gotten up to taking down that rank.
>>
>>2905819
The best way to keep balance is to have sis rulling hell and us rulling over earths magical comunity with mutiple Gods as our benefectors.
>>
>>2905602
> Not what. Who. It was an accident of wrong place at the wrong time. Overall, Dutch, did it occur to you that the US of A just might not be that important?

That's all you get, unless you're going to tell me why you're so focused on this, and what the satellite was supposed to do. I invited you over as a friend. If you insist on being a Politician instead, or a Spook, that's you forcing me to treat you like one.
>>
>>2905602
>a friendly "dust-up" between two girls not like the one you had when naming Supermax. It ain't pretty considering our options before it blew up in our faces. It was either a having giant ravine burn straight through the entire country or point it up in space and hope it didn't hit anything in orbit. At least it missed the moon, the ISS, and the Hubble Telescope.
>>
>>2905810
It occurs to me that since he hasn't asked "Who" yet, his team might actually be crap compared to ours.
>>
>>2905968
They're garbage as far as knowledge, research, and planning goes. It's possible that they might have aberrations even if logically they should be weaker than anyone else capable of fighting here. (we're leeching god buffs and Dutchess buffs, Freebles has been skimming payments, everyone leveled up on a demon legion or two,"ate" a Duke, and so on while Ace's big claim to fame is shooting down some planes. My original suggestion of calling it a dumb accident and dumb luck to downplay it has a dual purpose of showing that we think having enough firepower to accidentally do that is NORMAL. If they are much weaker than us, this will scare the crap out of the Supafly Sentai.
>>
>>2905981
It also occurs to me that the Government might be keeping them intentionally weak.
>>
>>2905985
Maybe. Haiku could have kept in the whole "lv 5s are absurdly weak compared to even low~mid-range magicians while thinking they're top tier" power scaling that's in Index.
There was something else I wanted to say but I've completely forgotten it.
>>
>>2905602
>I don't have any weapon that could do that
>Why are you this determined if you know the job's so fishy?
>>
>>2905787
>may be wired
That really comes down to how much we trust this guy. He straight-up told us they weren’t.
>>2905810
>didn’t even pass on Bernie was a dragon
It feels like Superfly is playing the same information asymmetry game we are. There’s no way he can’t know what Bernie is, or his org is really shit, but he has no reason to give away what he knows until he has to.
>>
>>2906097
We told Reynolds a great deal of stuff AND let him look at the contracts. If he's playing the information symmetry game he's either doing it badly with stuff we already knew he should know, is out of his depth but doesn't realize it, or is pretending to be retarded to get our guard down. I'm not gonna go around puffing my chest like all of the assholes we shot (literally) down a peg or anything like that. It's more likely that he just has a dose of the same sort of dumb luck we do.
He should have known it was our house and we'd recognize him from multiple sources, he would have known to just explode the house and blame it on a gas leak if he realized it was our girls(unless this is a conscription op),he should have known Bernie is a dragon with enough wealth and connections to fly right over his head if he doesn't outright eat him, he should have known that we are trying to (have) unravel(ed) ferret contracts and realized ours is working together with wizards, he should have known Ellie and Dio were coming and written Assistant off when he was found out because that is too much firepower in one spot. Mary going full god was entirely unplanned so a basic recon at a magical bar would have told him the Bernie faction and the magical girl faction recently teamed up due to the "Shotgun Shogun." He shouldn't have been surprised by the idea of having a wizard check his ferret out. If he's playing the long game then he's doing it for little to no reason I can think of other than waiting for us to do the sort of stupid magical shit that we are known specifically for not doing because we are squishy and actually a sane/normal human being.
>>
>>2906150
I just want to argue against the sane part. No sane human would keep himself married to a kitsune.
>>
>>2906206
No sane human could turn down those fluffy ears.
>>
>>2906220
And the SEVEN fluffy tails.That is very true.
>>
>>2905602
>Dunno. I don't have any weapon that could do that
>>
>>2905602
>There was an ...accident during a magical girl fight
>>
>>2906150
>Bernie
What if the dragon knew Reynold was a plant, maybe he had to take one on as an exchange for another favor, and chucked him at us intentionally? It would explain a few things.

That ‘even the pawns are playing games’ line is terrifying.
>>
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>>2905601
"Dunno," you say, and you see Superfly smile.

"I don't think you ever won a round of poker against me," Superfly says, "so?"

"I don't have a weapon that could do anything like that," you say, "and that's the truth."

You would really prefer to not go bareknuckles against your old buddy in a circle of dragons, wizard, witches, magical girls, and whatever the hell Rob and Ace are.

"I guess it is," he says, "you ain't makin' that curve with your lip."

"So that was my tell?" you ask him, "wait, I lost two hundred dollars to you that night because I curve my lip when I'm lyin'?"

"You lost way more than that, man," Superfly says, "that was the big one - but..."

"Alright, alright," you say, waving a hand at him as you hear muffled laughter, "I was never the best poker player."

"Can't say I'm an expert either," Superfly says, then stares you down suddenly, "you don't have any weapons that could take out a satellite?" he asks.

"No," you say, and it's nothing like a lie, "I just work on the cars in the garage - you know."

"I always wondered why they didn't put you in motor pool," Superfly says, grinning, "what ARE you driving these days?"

>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>Who's driving you these days?
>I'm starting to think your boss sent you here to die with me. FAE's don't discriminate
>Something fun. But we can look at it after dinner.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2906794
>>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>>Who's driving you these days?
>>
>>2906794
>>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>>Who's driving you these days?
>>
>>2906794
>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>Who's driving you these days?
>>
>>2906794
>>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>>Who's driving you these days?
>>
>>2906794
>>Something fun. But we can look at it after dinner.
>>
>>2906794
>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>Who's driving you these days?

i guess there is no problem in showing him our impront gun workshop. The one the girls build during the demonic invasion.
>>
>>2906840
What? We just build custom parts for our car there.
>>
>>2906842
I though it was obvious that the girls turned our workshop in more a gun workshop during the demon invasion. I mean if we managed to see it with our military background i think Superfly will too.

But not like we have anything that allow us to build a ASATs inside our garage.
>>
>>2906868
Yeah it's obvious that it's been repurposed but so what? We've never made a gun there and he isn't here for that anyway. Hell we were in a coma when that thing was allegedly in use.

He might get mad because we aren't being completely honest about things that shouldn't be important to him but that doesn't damn well matter.
>>
>>2906840
but isn't that legal-ish?
>>
>>2906840
As long as we're not manufacturing firearms with the intent to sell, or aren't modifying firearms into a legally restricted form, there's no issue with having a gun workshop.
>>
>>2906794

>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>>
>>2906893
I mean i will be honest there is no way he and his bosses don't know about the duke that came to our town and started a war in it. We can even use Rick testemony if we want to justify all this stuff after all were where they when the demons invaded?

>>2906895
i don't know about gun law in the USA.

>>2906909
Well problem solved then.
>>
>>2906950
My point is we shouldn't have to justify it. He shouldn't give a damn about it unless there's some far deeper objective to his inspection than possible ASATs that has him emotionally compromised or he never actually liked us and decides to just be a super bitch.
>>
>>2906976
Yeah that is fair, i just got worried because gun law is very restrict in my country i guess.
>>
>>2906983
You have me thinking though

The government is demons

Demons who know Ellie and are afraid of her

Demons who know she bought us at that auction then let us free

Demons who probably realize that she's our sister Elizabeth who disappeared at roughly the same time Ellie showed up in hell

How worried should we be that they are trying to get to her through us and use Superfly, who is on government records as having served with us and certainly has records of being friendly with us?
>>
>>2906794
"It's a beast of a car," you say, "want to have a look before dinner?"

"Love to," he says, the looks back over his shoulder, "Mach, on me. Ace, don't kill anyone. Don't even seriously injure them."

"Aye, aye, cap'n," the albino says, "but what if-"

"Don't," Superfly tells him, then pauses for a second, "actually, you come inside too. Hit the kitchen."

You look around the circle as it breaks. There are a few looks of disappointment there, but that's fine.

"Show me the car, man," Superfly says, falling in beside you as you head inside.

You open the back door, and see Jean laid out on the couch, with several people hovering over her.

"All your parties like this?" Superfly mutters at you.

"You remember what happened when they let us out of basic?" you mutter back, and he laughs.

You put your hand on Liska's shoulder, and she stiffens for a second, then twists around to look at you and relaxes a bit.

"That's a, uh," she says, looking you up and down, "quite the fashion statement."

"Is she ok?" you ask.

"Are any of us?" Liska hisses back at you, then catches herself a bit, "yeah, she'll be fine," she continues, then takes a step forward, plants her mouth against your ear, and whispers, "a thousand bucks says Rick ends up in ropes by the end of the night."

"I'm not taking that one," you whisper back, watching the demon chief of police kneeling alongside Sue over the woman on the couch, "try making sure things don't get out of hand. And I need someone to watch my back in the garage."

"Then I'm coming," Liska says, and you raise an eyebrow at her, then turn to Superfly.

"The garage is right this way, folks," you tell him, and lead the way through the living room and down the hallway, as the rest of the folks outside begin to filter into the party.

Doesn't take long to get into the garage.

"That's a damn good piece of metal!" Superfly says, looking at your car, then he bends over to look at the wheels, "disk brakes on all four? Nice! What'd you do to the engine?"

"Everything," you tell him, "not sure I've got half the original parts left. You would not believe this thing, man!"

"I can believe a lot of things," he says, as he straightens up and tilts his head oddly at 'Mach'. She nods at him, and a birdsnest of sparks start circling her forehead.

"For instance," he continues, stepping back and clapping his subordinate on the shoulder, "I believe Mach can knock out any electronic surveillance," he says, and looks at you, "so let's talk turkey, Deuce."

>You've seen what I'm driving, so who's driving you?
>Who shot JFK?
>I'm guessing you want to make a deal they can't see
>Was Roswell really aliens?
>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2907080
>>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?
>>
>>2907080
>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?
>>
>>2907080
>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?
>I'm guessing you want to make a deal they can't see
>>
>>2907080
>>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?
"What specifically do you want to know? Do I have an ASAT or do I have people who can take out satellites? It doesn't matter, we weren't going after your bosses and we have no intention of ever doing so."
>>
>>2907080
>I'm guessing you want to make a deal they can't see
>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?
>>
>>2907080
>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?
>I'm guessing you want to make a deal they can't see
>>
>>2907080
>>Who shot JFK?
>Was Roswell really aliens?
but seriously
>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?
>>
>>2907080
>How far back does that Rabbit Hole go Morpheous? Did it go all the way back when John Wilkes Booth killed Lincoln? Or did it all start at JFK?
>>
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>>2907080
"Well," you say, "there are a lot of things that don't add up here."

"You can say that again," Superfly tells you, as he sits down on a workshop stool, "you're the accountant, aren't you? You would have put it together faster than I did. By the way," he says, gesturing at the toolbench, "that's a really good setup you got there, Deuce."

"Isn't it, though?" you ask, "nothing I could make there could kill satellites. I do reloads for trap shooting, though. And some machining on my car and my guns."

You hear a large spark off Mach's forehead, and start smelling ozone.

"So?" you ask, staring down at your old buddy. You're writing it off as 'magical girls' now, but if they're trying to get you in an enclosed space and strangle you with ozone, Liska's going to be the last to go down, and she'll take them out before your body hits the floor.

"Mach," Superfly says, looking at his subordinate, "you make too much ozone, and we all die. I know you can control it," he says, his hand tightening just a bit on her shoulder, "so, Deuce," he continues, looking at you, "you playing that dragon's tune?"

Wait, what?

>He's trying not to play mine
>No. You want to make a deal?
>Look, can we cut the shit and talk this out like men?
>Yes, quite definitely, Bernie is the real power here
>Ok, we really need to get some things straight here
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2907199
>>He's trying not to play mine
>>
>>2907199
>>Ok, we really need to get some things straight here
>>
>>2907199
>cut the shit and talk it out like men
Sounds like he may think the dragon’s the real threat here, or he’s playing us against the dragon.

There are too many games happening right now
>>
>>2907199
>>Ok, we really need to get some things straight here
>>
>>2907199
>Ok, we really need to get some things straight here
>>
>>2907199
>Bernie is just trying to keep everything in the city under control and as neutral as possible.He and i just have the same interest.
>>
>>2907199
>Ok, we really need to get some things straight here
>>
>>2907199
>Laugh
Bernie's just a bit rough around the edges sometimes, he got way more chill once he realized I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm doing instead of some Machiavellian mastermind. I'm possibly way more valuable to him as an accountant. I got that Dionysus guy as a client after Zeus was sending creepy letters asking about my daughter and I gave an appropriate response.
It's actually more of a partnership really since I ddn't see the point of gangland shit when we could all team up and yell fuck vampires at the top of our lungs.
>>
>>2907199
>>2907244
>And his husband is an amasing cook.
>>
>>2907199
>>He's trying not to play mine
>>
>>2907199
>Ok, we really need to get some things straight here
>He's trying not to play mine
>No. You want to make a deal?

These are cool
>>
>>2907244
>He's trying not to play mine
>Much of the stupid shit that's happened the past 2 months was me diving headfirst into the deep end with no idea what's going on. half of those 2 months was spend in a coma.
>>2907199
This.
>>
>>2907258
>>2907244
>>2907300
>>2907199
Guess we are going with a hybrid of this, I support it.
>More like Partners
>Zeus anecdote
>How we got Dio as client
>Not in it for the power game
>Had our share of mistakes
>His husband is an amazing cook
>My things are my things, his things are his we are just amicable.
>>
>I am a father who jumped face first into t to save his daughter. I promptly found out all about magic and created a giant magical pta/mafia totally by accident. Bernie was my totally normal boss before I found out he was a dragon and we have an agreement to keep out of each other's way to not kill the city. dragons trying to politically maneuver me is a pain.
>>
>>2907199
> Laugh. Laugh hard.

> That's my day job. We have an arrangement to have no arrangements for anything except my 9-5.
>>
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>>2907199
"What the hell briefing did you get for this op?" you ask Superfly, "I think we need to get some things straight - if your girl's got us covered."

A finger of lightning lashes toward you and fizzles out in midair. Alright, 'Mach' probably has you covered.

Even if that was a rather violent method of displaying it.

"What do we need to get straight on?" Superfly asks you.

"First off," you say, looking him in the eyes, "I dove into the deep end a couple months ago to try and save my daughter. It's too bad you couldn't meet her tonight," you say, purposefully dragging your eyes across both Superfly and Mach.

"And second," you continue, "Bernie's in a rough nonaggression pact with me. I work for him during daytime hours, as an accountant. We... co-operate a bit outside the office. We both want to keep the city neutral as far as the things that go bump in the night go - yell 'FUCK VAMPIRES!' when we have to, stop demon invasions, that sort of thing. Sometimes he threatens to eat me, and then my folks threaten to make him seven kinds of dead, then he backs off a bit and we all have a few drinks together. Or his partner makes waffles or something. Heinrich makes really good waffles. Not sure anyone's really dancing to a tune there. We're more like a jazz improv group or something."

"But third," you say, putting your arm around Liska, and you can feel she's tense as piano wire, "I ain't in it for the power. I ain't in it for my health. I ain't in it for the glory of anything at all, and I sure ain't in it for the wealth. I'm in it to get Melon out. And get a lot of other girls out of even worse contracts," you say, and look at the crackling tangle of sparks in front of Mach's eyes.

"So," you say, looking back at Superfly, "I'm not a fan of this dancing in the dark shit - you can shoot straight, man."

"Well," he says, looking at Mach, and patting her shoulder, "that's why I've got you here, kid, huh?"

"One of several reasons," she says, sparks still wreathing her head, "I'm not a glorified Jacob's Ladder."

"Nah," Superfly says, "you're a lot more than that," then he looks back up at you, "so under the assumption this never leaves the room, what do you want to know about?"

>I want to know about how much you know about me
>I want to know why you're doing this
>I want to know what the Bernie/Reynold angle was
>I want to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop
>I want to know why you think you need me
>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2907817
>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now
>I want to know why you're doing this
>And if your going to actually come back for me if they send you to take care of me.
>>
>>2907817
>>I want to know about how much you know about me
>>I want to know why you're doing this
>>
>>2907817
>>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now
The ASAT situation is the sort of thing that can start wars in the wrong political climate, I wouldn't blame them for being twitchy
>>
>>2907817
>I want to know about how much you know about me
>I want to know why you're doing this
>I want to know what the Bernie/Reynold angle was
>I want to know why you think you need me
>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now
>>
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>>2907365
>2907365
You thought you would b doing accounting for your girlfriend; BUT IT WAS ME DIO
>>
>>2907817
>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now

Ah now all those client that Bernie had that dealled with Souls and virgins make sense...
>>
I'm almost tempted to ask who the other satelites belonged to. Because we know that four satelites got destroyed and Bernie only spoke of one and now Superfly said it was just two. But i take the satelites actually belongeg to Bernie and Supafly bosses.
>>
I'm going to bed. Not sure I can do this justice right now. Jesus, I have got to start writing earlier in the mornings. But at least I got some good cooking done today.

Next runtime on twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

>>2907895
Satellite Killcount as stated by characters:
Kelly (via his contact, who wouldn't tell him whose they were): 4
Bernie (who knows there were multiple countries involved): 3
Superfly: 2
To steal a phrase from an anon, there's some serious information asymmetry / "does he know that I know that he knows?" stuff going on. So far, the MC hasn't corrected either Bernie or Superfly on their numbers, because that would give away that he has a better/alternate source of information. Alternatively, they may know the real numbers and are fishing for how much the MC knows.
Several people are playing very, very dangerous games.
>Bernie and Supafly bosses
Bernie's his own boss, although he does cut deals with ruling powers on occasion. Superfly is pretty obviously a government operative.
>>
>>2908040
Good night. See ya on the flipside, QM.
>>
>>2907817
>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now
That leaves it ambiguous whether we’re talking about people having satellite problems or demons having other issues. Now that I think about it, if demons are playing chess with earth as their board, Ellie is basically a pawn that started running through a chess tournament shanking players.
>>
>>2907817 #
>I want to know about how much you know about me
>I want to know why you're doing this
>I want to know what the Bernie/Reynold angle was
>I want to know why you think you need me
>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now
>>
>>2907817
In order of significance

> I want to know if you're coming to me for help as a friend, or for negotiations as a Suit.

> If it's as a friend, I'll do whatever I can to help you and your kids. If you have issues with their contracts with your rat, if you need a supply of energy, if you just need them to learn how to be teenagers, that sort of thing no question. Heck, even if you're coming to me as a suit that offer is still open, if maybe limited. No questions asked, no obligation made.

> If you're coming to me as a Suit, then I've played my hand for you. Time to play yours and tell me what/who your bosses are, what they want from us, what they're willing to give, and who they want to involve in whatever agreement we end up with. I might have to talk to my crew to check if you're actually able to represent them, or if an agreement breaks any of their pre-existing conditions.

Then

> Make a reference to our code from our time in the army for when one of us isn't able to talk openly. Ask if he still regrets not marrying that girl from South America. Yes means he's compromised, no means he can talk openly.

I notice that he's always with one of the others, I'm concerned that he might be under surveillance as well.

If he says no to the question, we should see if we can talk to him one on one and see if he wants us to look for a way to cut him loose from his handlers, either by magic, politics, or subterfuge. We have some interesting options.
>>
A month later
>>
>>2907817
(Any is fine, there's not really any giant mystery we needed the answer to so hard that I can immediately think of one to ask? Each response doesn't really mesh well with the other in my head so I guess it's multiple choice?)
>I'm not really sure, maybe the name of the head demon in charge? I was starting to suspect you guys got sent here as expendables to piss off Ellie for some sort of trap.They sent you into a house full of people that casually killed a Duke and that's not counting the extra guests. Ellie's started tearing her way through the princes now and maybe it's making them sweat? inb4 Ellie killed that demon already and this is a power play by a lower level to become the boss before she realizes she owns America.
>The way you guys were talking before makes me think I should be the one giving you information. The rats have been stockpiling all of that energy they get for something and I'm guessing it's gonna crash the spheres or something similarly apocalyptic. (You can thank me for the ones i've been stopping so far.) We actually got a way to rewrite out contracts without all of that nasty stuff but were trying to lay low for if an audit happened after we killed that Duke rather than risk the collateral damage and actually alerting them to what we're doing. Wanna start sharing info?
>You got some sort of wizarding curriculum? I was kind of thinking of letting the girls have proper magic lessons and I have a list of all of the books the rats have banned.
>How long till they actually do something? I have a girl to rescue from a godhood that is probably not all it's cracked up to be.
>How much of my house is bugged at this point?
>>
>>2908336
lol
>>
I should be starting back up once I manage to process some stuff.

>>2907860
This is why 'Dio' as the abbreviated nickname for Dionysus will always weird me out.
>>2908336
Is this the joke I think it is?
>>
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>>2907817
"So how much of my house is bugged?" you ask.

"I don't have any," he says, "well, after someone slagged Reynold's," then glances at Mach, who still has sparks arcing from her head at intervals, like a human Tesla coil, "so that's why I brought insurance. Because I don't know who else might."

"You ever regret not hitting the altar with that Brazilian chick?" you ask him, and twitch your head, "I think she coulda been good for you, man. Just look what marriage did for me," you say, running your hand down Liska's back until it rests on her hip.

It's been a while. Does he remember the code? Granted, it was stupid stuff the two of you agreed on back when you both would have jumped at any job with an acronym agency.

Superfly sighs, and gives you a slight nod, "nah, I don't think it would have worked out. She just wanted citizenship, not me."

That means he thinks he can speak freely.

Mach gives him an odd look.

As far as you know, Superfly never even had a Brazilian girlfriend.

Closest he got was a Brazilian wax, when he was blackout drunk and the rest of the squad thought it would be hilarious. The mock funeral for his departed hair, conducted by several hungover men the next morning, was icing on the cake. Damn, what happened to those guys?

"Well that's too bad," you say, "how hard are your bosses panicking?"

"I'd say they're more than half-mast," Superfly tells you, which gets a giggle from Liska, and a barely-scandalized twitch of the lip from Mach, "there's something happening behind the scenes lately that's been tying them in knots. It seems a bit over my pay-grade, though."

"Is the name of your boss' boss' boss' - you get the picture," you say, "also over your pay grade?"

"Right now," Superfly says, then leans forward and says, "you know, it's interesting on this side. It takes a while for things to add up. Then you Mulder, or you Scully and get out."

He pauses, and the garage goes silent except for the periodic sparks across Mach's forehead.

"Hell, let's not play games here, Deuce," Superfly continues, "we don't have the time. You've built a magical faction with international contacts out of thin air. If you didn't shoot down those satellites, you know who did. Not sure what part your actually-not-dead sister has in all this, but I'm making some guesses. I'm not here as a suit. Can you get my girls better contracts?"

A spark arcs from Mach's forehead to a tube of the fluorescent light in the ceiling, and it blows, showering everyone in glass. So that's the hold they have on him.

Get him attached to the kids on his team, and use it against him. Maybe. His whole situation seems really screwed up. And you probably don't know the half.

>Depends on whether you're throwing in with me
>The problem is any rat audits
>What are the guys?
>Freebles, Supermax, we up for mass rewrites? If they didn't notice a goddess, we should be clear
>You miss the desert yet?
>No offense, but you're really suspicious
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2910703
>>Yes. The problem is any rat audits, and that we'd have to do the contracts without your bosses knowing what happened.
>>
>>2910703
>The problem is any rat audits
>Freebles, Supermax, we up for mass rewrites? If they didn't notice a goddess, we should be clear

>>2910720
Also this.
>>
>>2910703
Backing these >>2910720
>>2910724
>>
>>2910703
>>You miss the desert yet?
>sigh
>The problem is any rat audits
>Freebles, Supermax, we up for mass rewrites? If they didn't notice a goddess, we should be clear
I'm still super suspicious at the rat's lack of any sort of monitoring, but at this point it doesn't really matter. If Mary going divine didn't trip an alarm, nothing will.
>>
>>2910703
>Freebles, Supermax, we up for mass rewrites? If they didn't notice a goddess, we should be clear
>Depends on whether you're throwing in with me
>>
>>2910703

That was actually one of the main reasons i'd called a meeting.You didn't even have to ask. Every time I tried to try and ask you about that some random bullshit kept on happening.
We've actually had the ability for a few days but were trying to lie low and see what the reaction would be to us killing a duke. We've not tested them but we do theoretically have the ability to just rewrite em all from scratch.
Just be aware that the rat bosses are gonna be able to tell you fixed those the second they can actually see anyone and that might go for your bosses.
>Freebles, Supermax, we up for mass rewrites? We're gonna need more firepower to drag Mary out of the mess she made if she's kicking and screaming.
>I also want somebody to stand in as a lawyer/advocate for any girls getting a rewrite. I wanna get the new terms right the first time and get long term practice for whatever people might be considering doing that for a living. None of that let a girl sign up without her even knowing half of what's in there bullshit. We're doing this the nice and boring way.
>There something similar with the guys? If you've not even been around any wizards then simply being able to ask some like right now might help them out too.
>>
>>2911070
>Supermax. What do you remember from before you were a rat and when you became one? I'm trying to track down where the hell the rats even came from but I have a small sample size
>>
>>2910703
>The problem is any rat audits.

> But fuck yes dude. Hey, how much do you like your rat? I mean, if he's shitty and isn't willing to rewrite their contracts, honestly he would make a pretty good fall guy for Freebles. If he takes over their contracts, we're good.

> That being said, it might be your rat is just ignorant. You saw how he reacted to Freebles and my contract. Just in case you're wondering, I'm definitely the boss in this relationship, almost embarrassingly so. He's originally Japanese and keeps making everything Yakuza themed.

> Tirns out that the rats and their girls are also actively discouraged by threat of - well, they only have one threat - but yeah, they aren't supposed to talk to other wizards. Remember all those guys on boot that signed those leases on their Chargers saying they waived their right to legal representation? It's like that, so we're absofuckinglutely getting some expert opinions on this.

> Fair warning though, shit here is crazy. So keep that in mind before deciding how close you want to get tangled up if you got other obligations. If you need somewhere to run to, I won't turn you away. But so far tonight? On a scale of 1 - 10 for our BBQs this has been like a 4. 6 maybe depending on how our new Goddess is dealing.

> Also, so they know about Sachio huh? Good. Tell them that Sachio is our YOUNGER brother, and to check what that means with someone who knows Japanese culture. If they want to have us set up a talk with them as one supernatural government to another, we have his number so maybe they should give us theirs.

I would rather have Dutch and his team be plot facilitators instead of party members. Lend them out some of our people for stuff, be able to get some help with our Usurp the Rat God plan, have diplomatic status for dealing with Greek Gods, etc. Dionysus wants to fuck around, see how much he likes getting deported or having his vineyards shut down and fucking burned. Maybe have mandatory AA meetings in order to keep his citizenship.
>>
>>2910784
>I'm still super suspicious at the rat's lack of any sort of monitoring,
He has a collar with runic shit on it.
>>
>>2911106
>I would rather have Dutch and his team be plot facilitators instead of party members.
I specifically avoided that first option for that reason. They can work with us without needing to be permanent members.
>Lend them out some of our people for stuff,
Good idea. It'd be nice to be able to cut down on cast bloat.


>>2911115
Didn't Superfly's group put that on, not the rats?
>>
>>2911147
Oh, i thought you meant Supermax, not their bosses.
>>
>>2910703
To be fair, the rat audits are only really "are you making your quota".

So if peeps want to go fight in hell with us, cool. Otherwise we can probably sell them energy, or hook them up with Ellie who is murdering her way up the ranks of hell. We probably have more freedom than they do to get energy.

Maybe Mary can feed some back into them even to balance out Ellies Hell energy and we can get some sort of Celestial-Mortal-Demonic free trade agreement worked out.

They set up worshipers for Mary, she uses that celestial energy so Ellies toxic hell shit cools down, we sell them refined shit we get from Ellie, and everyone helps her kill demons!
>>
>>2911169
>Maybe Mary can feed some back into them even to balance out Ellies Hell energy
Maybe superfly can benefit from ellie's excess energy. After all he is working for some alphabet organization.
>>
>>2911219
Yeah that's what I meant. We get Ellie Energy, sell it to them to make their rat quota, and in exchange trade Ellie Mary's energy so that Ellie can calm the fuck down.

The Gov't can just promote worship of Mary or whatever so she has energy to trade.
>>
>>2911115
There are some guesses I can make for monitoring us without some of our group noticing but I probably shouldn't give Haiku any ideas for once.
>>2911169
That sounds like it can go horribly wrong at some stage.
>>
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>>2910703
"The problem is rat audits," you say, and you can feel Freebles nodding vigorously on your shoulder.

"So that's why you were asking earlier," Supermax says, poking his small furry head out of Superfly's pocket, "can someone catch me up on what happened while I was out?"

"Bigger fish to fry," Superfly tells him, "you doing ok?"

"If this isn't the bunker from the end of Dr. Strangelove," Supermax says, swarming up onto Superfly's shoulder, then looks at the car, the toolbench, and Mach's sparking head, "oh Hell, we're having an off-the-books conversation?"

"Yeah," Superfly mutters, "you square with him?" he asks, looking at Supermax, and then around the room.

"I'm fine," Freebles says.

"I don't feel like killing him anymore," Supermax says, "it's his territory. Goddamn animal instincts."

"You don't have to say that twice," Liska says, and puts her arm around you. You can feel her tails brush against your back.

"We'd be taking a big risk if we rewrite them," Freebles says.

"Yeah?" Supermax says, "and you didn't just take a huge risk when one of your girls became a goddess? Going by the manual, I'm pretty sure we're supposed to cut contract halfway through that, so they go berserk."

Another spark lashes out from Mach's head and bursts an entire double-tube fixture on the garage ceiling.

"If you haven't guessed," Freebles says, as glass fragments and mercury droplets rain down into the darkening garage, "I'm not exactly going by the manual here."

"I don't have to guess," Supermax says, cocking his head to the side, "I know. And it's not like I am either."

"Can you please not destroy ALL my lights?" you ask Mach.

...And you get a glare in response, as she takes a deep breath, sparks still nesting around her head, "this isn't as easy as it looks."

"You're making it look damn easy, kid," Superfly says, and pats her on the shoulder, then looks at you, "so, Deuce, considering you just flipped off anyone who cares, how about we go do right by our girls?"

...and there goes the last light.

You can feel Liska laughing silently against you.

"Mach," you hear Superfly say, with the clarity that only utter darkness gives to hearing, "you really need to work on that."

An actinic flare lights the garage for a second, and you hear your old partner muttering curses.

"If you trust your ferret," you say, "then let's get this show on the road."

"I trust you as far as I can throw you, Supermax," Superfly says, and you can hear his grin in the darkness, "but I can throw you pretty damn far. You in for this?"

"What's betraying them one more time?" Supermax asks, "I was supposed to kill myself if anyone collared me."

"Then I guess we're doing this," Superfly says, in a dark garage intermittently lit with sparks from an unstable teenager's forehead.

"That really messed up my fur, Mach," Supermax says, and you can only wonder what sort of static-induced monstrosity he looks like now.

[1/2]
>>
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>>2911280
[2/2]

"Lick it back down, Sam," Mach tells him, "can I stop the interference now?"

"Please," Superfly says, "those sparks are going to give me a seizure."

"You two ferrets up for a mass rewrite?" you ask.

"Bro," Freebles says from your shoulder, "you know we were only holding off from fear. And we just gave my bosses the double middle fingers. There's no place for fear now."

"Let me," Supermax says, then you hear an odd slurping noise, "fix my hair first."

Liska laughs, and you're pretty sure her barking covers a few other people laughing at Supermax's predicament.

"So," Superfly says, a half-muffled laugh in his voice, "are all your barbeques like this?"

"I think it's a 4-6 out of ten?" you say, "depending on how thing are wherever Mary went."

"So having a god show is par for the course?" he asks, "wait a fucking second. I thought I recognized that guy from somewhere. That leave on Cyprus?"

"I don't remember most of that," you admit, "surprised you do," you say, and then it sinks in, "HE was there?"

"I think so," Superfly says, "I can't say I remember most of it myself. But he looked really familiar. So, rewriting contracts."

"Guess we're rewriting them all tonight," you say, "Freebles, does that take magical energy or something?"

"Some," he tells you, "but I can do all of ours, bro. How many can you you do, Supermax?" he asks.

"Only got two," the other ferret says, "I can handle it."

"I feel like we need some 'legal' advice for the girls on this - an advocate or something?" you say, "make sure they don't get screwed again, like the idiots that bought sports cars when we got out of basic."

You can feel Liska laughing silently again when you say 'screwed'.

"Makes sense," Superfly says, "but do we actually have anyone neutral enough to do that here?"

[NON-EXCLUSIVE CHOICE:]
>We have a duchess of Hell. Used to be a magical girl, even
>We have a dragon
>We have a priest
>We have tons of wizards
>We have a couple of witches
>Let's put this up to a council vote or something first
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2911385
>We have a dragon

Dragons just love contracts. Especially with "eat you in the case of defaulting" clauses.

But seriously, we can just pay him to do it.
>>
>>2911385
Is >ALL OF THE ABOVE a good idea?
I feel like it is.

Fuckit.
>ALL OF THE ABOVE
>>
>>2911385
Whoooo! time to go full HAM!

>ALL OF THE ABOVE
>>
>>2911385
>We have a demon of a police officer
>We have tons of wizards
>>
>>2911385
>We have a dragon
>We have tons of wizards
>One magical girl that is almost as level headed as me.
>And another that has seen some serious shit.

The rest of them can come for the final draft, but i feel they will only hinder things.

>>2911398
Isn't Helie totally knocked out right now?
>>
>>2911404
>Isn't Helie totally knocked out right now?
The Power Of Plot Compels You!
But seriously, good point. Kinda torpedoes that idea a little.
>>
>>2911385
>>We have a dragon
>We have tons of wizards
Even if sis was inclined to help, she doesn't really strike we as a legalize-type.
>>
>>2911404
>Implying we're not a master of the art of deciphering sibling sleep slurring

>QMC: "Sis! Do you think that this shit is whack!?"
>Sis: "SLRGIFRAGGIACOIUNT!" Translation(I do agree dear brother that this shit is whack)
>QMC: "SHE SAYS YES!"
>>
>>2911444
I just read that translation as if it was made by a GPS voice and now im giggling in the middle of the night.
>>
>>2911385
>I disagree about fear, it's because I'd rather be able to kill off as many as possible before they realize they're being attacked and I don't want collateral damage from us not being able to pick the arena.

>Hammer it out with everyone. It'll be a good lesson for if they have to try and give advice about a new contract for anyone else. The more people around the more people can see any possible flaws.
>First we make emergency contracts for if the killswitches go off on anyone. Nice and simple to read for anyone.simply to stave off what's happening so that a proper contract can be made.
Then we make our standard ones.
Then we work on any possible custom ones that could be required that we can think of.
>>
>>2911531
On second thought i'll rewrite that.
It's not fear, it's caution. Those bastards have been the big bad evil in my life since i was a kid and I keep on expecting them to actually be competent. Instead it's the laziest piece of crap I've ever seen that should have been broken up by somebody other than me a dozen times over.
>>
>>2911385
>ALL OF THE ABOVE

We do have a full house why not give him options?
>>
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>>2911385
"At this point," you say, "what is 'neutral'? Everyone in my house is sort of connected to me. There's Bernie, though."

"And Rosemary," Superfly says.

"And the dragon's pet knight and his priest," you tell him, "and also Ellie."

"And your sist-" Superfly begins, "beat me to it. Although that's a damn sight short of neutral."

"She used to be a magical girl," you say, "who better to advocate? Also, I've got tons of wizards. A few witches, too."

"Hell," Superfly says, "even I brought a wizard. Although he's not neutral either. We're not really looking for neutrality here, are we?"

"No," you admit, "we're looking for people that understand magical contracts and can get things a little less screwed for the girls."

"This is going to end up being some round-table committee shit, isn't it?" Superfly says, while you wonder when Liska will stop shaking with muffled laughter.

"I'm thinking we establish some baseline, non-exploitative boilerplate," you say, "just to start off with. Besides, the more people around, the more people we have to see possible flaws."

"That sounds reasonab-" Superfly starts off, and gets interrupted by a knock on the door.

Then Shelby opens the door, silhouetted in the light from the house, with another few figures behind him, "dinner's ready - everything alright?" he asks, glancing around the garage.

"Nothing a trip to the hardware store won't fix," you say, "get us a flashlight or something. Don't come in here. There's glass everywhere."

You hear a sigh from the hallway behind Shelby.

"Did you go off AGAIN, Mach?" a voice says from the hallway, and lightning lances from Mach's forehead at the doorway, only to ground itself on a hastily-conjured sword.

"Fuck!" Shelby yells as he drops it in shock, and it disappears before it can clatter against the ground.

"That wasn't meant for you," Mach tells him, taking a step forward, glass crunching under her shoe, "sorry."

You hear a shuffling noise from the hallway, as Supefly says, "Mach," in a warning tone.

"A little different," Liska whispers to you, "seeing it from this side?"

Unfortunately, you still have that awful feeling of being the most responsible person in the room.

"Not really," you whisper back to her, "it's still our house they'd wreck."

"Everyone take your shoes off at the door!" Liska says, "don't go tracking glass through my house!"

>Then you are at dinner, talking to [WRITE IN]
>Then you are helping with the finishing touches in the kitchen
>Then you are checking on Ellie
>Then you are helping Liska defray some different 'animal instincts' before dinner
>Then you are pulling your shoes off and merging into the traffic jam that is your hallway
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2911693
>>Then you are pulling your shoes off and merging into the traffic jam that is your hallway
>>
>>2911693
>Then you are checking on Ellie
>>
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I'm done for the night. Hopefully I'll be back earlier tomorrow.

Twitter for runtime announcements: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

I found the idea of a magical girl with electric powers blowing out the lights as she reacted to certain phrases/ideas to be very compelling, and then I realized she'd blown all the lights in the garage. Oops. Someone needs to take a shop-vac to that place.

>>2911106
>>2911070
I love the slew of write-ins here. Sorry I didn't get to most of them. Maybe we can hit some of the ones I missed later?

The 'South-American Wife' code phrase was genius, though. Hopefully the execution didn't disappoint. Ironically, it ties into some family history.
>>2911404
>Hellie
This is the best nickname.
>>
>>2911693
>>Then you are checking on Ellie


>Liska will stop shaking with muffled laughter.
What are you even laughing about? This is about as serious as it gets. We were discussing your daughter's future and her ability to keep having one.
Christ she's starting to really get on my nerves.

>>2911730
Thanks for running.
>>
>>2911693
>Then you are checking on Ellie
One of the guys Superfly brought is a wizard? Oh boy.
>>2911735
>what are you even laughing about?
The low-budget comedy routine we just pulled with Superfly, maybe? She came with us because it was serious, but a lot of that incident was a farce.
>>
>>2911730
>This is the best nickname.
I'm ashamed of myself for taking me so long to come up with it.
>>
>>2911735
What's it like, being dead inside?
>>
>>2911693
>Then you are checking on Ellie
>>
>>2911693
>Then you are checking on Ellie
>>
>>2911693
>Then you are checking on Ellie
I'm more concerned about Haru desu, hell seems to have left its mark on him, possibly permanently, and i don't know if its good or bad.
>>
>Checkin on ellie.jpg
>>
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>>2911693
Then you're trying to check on Ellie.

You left your shoes in the garage. Dammit, you're going to need new tubes in there.

And a hard vacuuming.

First your shirt, now your shoes - is the universe conspiring to strip you?

You pushed through the traffic jam in your hallway, then on into the opposite hallway.

Everyone can probably keep this sane, right?

Probably?

Maybe?

"Yo," Madison says, sitting in the hallway, barely looking up from her book as you step over her, then continues, "Harriet's gone."

You look down.

Harriet's passed out, slumped against Madison. It's probably the only time she gets to retreat from everything she's seen.

You knew a couple of guys like that.

"Jesus," you mutter, looking down at the girls, young enough to be your daughters, fighting some terrible chess game against awful adversaries, "how's the hallway been?" you ask.

"Pretty uneventful," Madison says, nodding at the huge fox and the demon butler standing guard outside the guest bedroom, "nobody wants to tangle with them."

"I can see why," you say, and take a step toward the guest bedroom door.

Haru growls and bares his teeth.

"How's Ellie doing?" you ask, barely aware of a presence behind you.

"Her Grace is-" Butler begins, then Haru turns to growl at him, and gives a foxy bark, showing a lot of teeth.

"Ellie's recovering," Haru says, the words rumbling from deep in his throat as he turns his head back to you, "leave it."

"I want to check on my sist-" you begin to say, and then Liska rushes past you to tackle her brother.

"You alway liked it behind the ears?" she asks, as the two of them tangle on the floor, her fingers finding and scratching a weak spot, and he whines.

"You bitch," he manages to say, as everyone in the hallway looks on as Liska runs a hand down his flank, then back up, petting the giant fox.

"Vixen," Liska says, bringing her mouth to one of his ears, "get it right, Haru," then she nods at you.

That's your cue, apparently. You open the door into the guest bedroom. It still smells like blood.

Ellie's laid out on the bed, but looks a lot better than when she crashed on your floor earlier.

"Ellie," you say, and she stirs a bit, sprawling on the bed like a cover model. You suddenly find the window behind her much more interesting.

"What?" Ellie asks, sleepily.

"Wanted to check in on you," you say, still staring at the window behind her, "make sure you were doing alright."

"I'm fine," she says, still lounging on the bed, "where's Haru?"

"Liska's distracting him," you tell her, "he didn't want to let me in here."

Ellie laughs.

>What happened to him?
>Are you really ok? You said something about fighting Belphegor
>So how did that 'walking tour of Hell' go?
>How would you like to look over some rewriting of magical girl contracts
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2913415
>>So how did that 'walking tour of Hell' go?
>>How would you like to look over some rewriting of magical girl contracts
>>
>>2913415
>How would you like to look over some rewriting of magical girl contracts
>Write in: "I also got a gift for you and Haru. Would think that you would want a break from conquering Hell" Present the tickets we got from Zeus.
>>
>>2913429
Support
>>
>>2913415
>>So how did that 'walking tour of Hell' go?
>>How would you like to look over some rewriting of magical girl contracts
>>
>>2913415
>>So how did that 'walking tour of Hell' go?
>Are you really ok? You said something about fighting Belphegor
>>
>>2913415
>What happened to him?
>got a pair of cruise tickets to the Mediterranean. You want em? It's also near the Greek Underworld entrance too. I ain't the type to go cruising. You know how I get seasick when I go on boats. Heard some big shot god was hosting it. God of Partying and Booze I think.
>Well at least you came in right on time. I was hosting another Barbeque and Dinner's ready. Got your favorite angus and Prime Ribs ready on the dinner table. Although...it's gonna be a bit cramped.
>Can you get your bf back to human form? he's scaring the guests.
>>
>>2913415
>What happened to him?
>So how did that 'walking tour of Hell' go?
>How would you like to look over some rewriting of magical girl contracts
>>
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>>2913415
"So how did that walking tour of Hell go?" you ask, closing the door behind you.

"It got really fun once it turned into a riding tour," Ellie says, as you sit down in a chair, "Haru's a damn good mount, and better when he's the one mounting. You ever tried it with a fox?"

"I do happen to be married to his sister," you say, still studying the window.

"No," Ellie says, grinning as she gestures languidly with one hand, "I mean - when they're in that form."

"I'm not quite as adventurous as you," you tell her, and try to channel the conversation in a different direction, "you have fun taking him to see the sights?"

"Yeah," she says, softly, "hey, you're my brother and shit - I know it's been - how long has it been?" she asks.

"Thirty years," you say, "give or take."

"Don't kill him," Ellie says.

"Kill him?" you ask, "hell, I threw him in bed with you!"

"Better than any birthday present you ever got me," she says, "yeah, we had a fun time touring Hell, then he turned into a giant fox and stopped talking. And started-"

"I don't need three guesses," you say, cutting her off, "it's mating season or some shit for them. Glad you had fun with it."

"He was fun" Ellie says, "does that mean I have a shot with Liska right now?"

Shit. Liska had talked about that, but god no! Jesus!

"Or could I go for the full family meal?" Ellie asks, and you don't dare taking your eyes off the window.

"No," you say, clenching your teeth, "I'm afraid we're not serving any of that. I am your brother, no matter how much time you've spent in Hell."

"Yeah," Ellie says, shifting gears faster than any clutch in the world, "so you know how guys see stuff then, right?"

"Maybe," you tell her, "some guys. I was mostly a wingman, although I did pretty well for myself. What was the question?"

"Nevermind," Ellie says.

"I was a really fuckin' good wingman!" you say, as you feel the sting on your pride.

"No," she tells you, turning her head to glare at you, "nevermind."

"I do happen to have two tickets for a Mediterranean cruise," you say, "that's why I summoned you. I heard it's probably going to have at least two Greek gods on it. One of them does partying and madness, the other does - welly, every pretty woman he sees."

"Butler would probably say you were trying to use me for your dirty work," Ellie says, "he's a suspicious cocksucker."

"I would really prefer you not kill anyone," you tell her, "and I was never the deck shoes and polos type. Cruises aren't my style."

"Never figured you for the bandages-and-jacket type either," Ellie says, sitting up on the edge of the bed, then cocks her head to the side, "does work, though. I'd fuck you."

That's not really the fashion advice you want to hear from your sister.

...And you hope neither of the kitsune on the other side of the door managed to hear it.

"I've also got some magical girl contracts to be rewritten," you say, "and you're a bit of an expert. You also showed up in time for dinner."

[1/2]
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>>2913886
[2/2]

"Rewriting contracts?" Ellie asks.

"So nobody has to go through what you did," you say.

"I LIKE being this," she says, "I'm powerful. I have everything I could want. I can fight whoever I want! I can fuck whoever I want! I can burn swathes of Hell, driving demons in front of me! Why would anyone not want to be this?" she finishes, standing up off the bed.

You're taking a hell of a gamble here.

"Because they might want to live a normal life in this world," you say, taking a step out of your chair, "maybe for their family. Maybe because they don't want to spend years," and somehow it's raining indoors, droplets down your face, "wandering in the wastes of Hell, or they have people that don't want that, or, jesus, Ellie,"

By this point you're hugging her.

"Maybe for the same reason you bailed me out of Hell," you whisper, gripping your sister close. She could probably rip your arms off, if she wanted to. She might even be able to flatten you with just her aura.

"Maybe," she whispers, "also, you said you had food?"

>Yes, it's dinnertime
>Yes, but what the Hell happened to Haru?
>Yes - promise you won't cause some sort of disturbance?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2913959
>Yes, but what the Hell happened to Haru?
>>
>>2913959
>Yes, but what the Hell happened to Haru?
Is he permanently a fox now?
>>
>>2913959
>Yes, it's dinnertime
>And no, no one is on the menu for you, except maybe haru after supper. Just bring it back to the guest room, or your place, ok.
>>
>>2913959
>Yes, but what the Hell happened to Haru?

I wanna knock up our sister,
>>
>>2913959
>Also Mary ascended so try not to provoke the girls please.
>Also my daughter and wife are in heat so if you make any passes at them in that state I will be pissed.
>Also alphabet team f my friend's who was worried about accidentally fragging satellites is here.
>>
>>2913959
>>Yes, but what the Hell happened to Haru?
>>
>>2913959
>Yes, it's dinnertime
>WRITE IN: "You may need to put something more...covering. I'm gonna ask Liska to give you some of her clothes for now."
>>
>>2913971
You sure it wouldn’t be “get knocked up by”? Pretty sure someone with that much power could do that. Plus she don’t got time to carry a baby bump, she’s got murdering to do.
>>
>>2913959
>Yes, it's dinnertime

You know, I'd love to see some illustrations from key points of this quest. I'm sure they'd be absolutely brilliant. I'd attempt it, but well, I can draw schematics, and that's about it.
>>
>>2913959
Yep. And if that Zeus guy tries anything with you it probably means he thinks you're Melon. I told him that if he tries anything with her I'm going to chop off his dick and turn it into a magically enchanted dildo for Hera so please try to keep that part intact.
How's Haru doing? He wasn't in a good place when he left.
I dont know what sort of family planning you have in mind but the ladies can give you tips on some spells. just beware his mom is a fertility god.
Play nice with the girls. Mary became a god earlier and it sounded slightly less pleasant than becoming a demon.
>>
>>2913959
"Yes," you say, "hungry?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," Ellie says, "I think I almost died. Even regeneration needs something for fuel."

You hold her tighter. It's really weird that your older sister seems like a young woman to you now. Hell and magical girls play weird tricks.

"Belphegor?" you ask.

"Yeah," she says, "should have killed him. Blacked out halfway through."

Oh...

"That might be sort of my fault," you say, "Mary ascended, and everyone got hit with the backlash."

"You just always have to cockblock me, don't you?" Ellie asks, disentangling herself from you and sitting back down on the bloody bed.

"That's in the job ad for 'little brother'," you say, "if I read it right."

Ellie laughs, more like what you remember from her than a demonic cackle.

"By the way," you say, "what did happen to Haru?"

"Don't have a clue," Ellie tells you, "suddenly he was a giant fox. Then he said something about how he was going into rut, and was trying to restrain himself, and I said he didn't have to, and then his cock was down my throat. I couldn't give a good comeback. I didn't bother giving one once I could - he was mounting me, and holy shit he's good. So," she continues, with a wink, "that's why you married her?"

"Not really," you say, "also, Liska and Melon (your niece, if you forgot) are in dead heat right now, and totally off-limits."

"Dammit," Ellie says, then looks at you, smiling, "we should totally-"

"I've turned down one invitation to turn this party into an orgy tonight," you say, "I will continue turning them down. We had some of your favorites on the grill, but the people are off the menu. In every sense."

Ellie sighs, then says, grinning, "what if they come at me?"

"Look," you ask her, "do you want me to just lock you and your dog fox in here? Or do you want to be part of the party?"

"You know I hate ultimatums," Ellie says, getting up off the bed and taking a step toward you.

"We both take them as challenges," you tell her, "but I've got really good reasons for giving that one. I've got a dragon's crew, my folks, and an old marine buddy's group here. He's worried about my girls fragging satellites. And he wants better contracts for his girls," you say, staring your sister down.

"What did you have on the grill?" Ellie asks.

"You think I don't remember your favorites?" you ask, as the door bursts open behind you. You look over your shoulder, and see Liska mouth 'could only hold him so long', as Haru bounds past you and sets up shop between you and your sister.

A shop selling bone-crunching bites, by the look of its proprietor.

>Float the 'change of clothes' idea, per >>2914082
>Ok, we're locking them in. Here's the tickets, you two
>Good boy, can you shake?
>Ellie's my sister, man
>You gonna be able to come to dinner like that?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2914304
>Float the 'change of clothes' idea, per >>2914082
>>Ellie's my sister, man
>>You gonna be able to come to dinner like that?
>>
>>2914304
>You gonna be able to come to dinner like that?
>Float the 'change of clothes' idea, per >>2914082
>>
>>2914304
>Ellie's my sister, man
>You gonna be able to come to dinner like that?
>>
>>2914304
>Ellie's my sister, man, and if you haven't caught on yet incest is a major turn-off for me.
>>You gonna be able to come to dinner like that?
>>
>>2914304
>Ellie's my sister, man, and if you haven't caught on yet incest is a major turn-off for me.
>>You gonna be able to come to dinner like that?
>Float the 'change of clothes' idea, per >>2914082
>>
>>2914304
>Float the 'change of clothes' idea, per >>2914082
>Ellie's my sister, man, and if you haven't caught on yet incest is a major turn-off for me.
>Can you chill for a minute or two, Haru? take a cold shower, say hi to everyone, grab a plate...
>>
>>2914304
>Good boy, can you shake?
>but in all seriousness, That's my fucking sister man and you WILL be returning to humanoid form right away for dinner.
>>
>>2914320
Supportan
>>
>>2914413
>>2914304
Supporting
>>
>>2914304
>>2914405
>>
File: They Say This Is Ellie.png (1.71 MB, 1236x1000)
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>>2914304
"You gonna be able to come to dinner like that?" you ask, as Ellie puts her hand on Haru's head and ruffles his fur. He leans his head up at her, like a dog.

"Ok," Liska says from behind you, "I was just doing that and you ran away?"

"Maybe he likes me more?" Ellie asks her, grinning.

"Liska," Haru says, the words weirdly muffled by canine vocal cords, as he arches his head into Ellie's hand, "you're my sister. Ellie's my girlfriend," he says, and looks up at your sister, "behind the ears?" he asks, and Ellie starts scratching him there.

"Huh," Liska says, "I uh, huh. Um. Well, I guess you two really hit it off," she finishes, looking at Ellie.

"I'm just going to repeat my earlier question," you say, "you two going to be able to come to dinner like that?"

"Of course not," Liska says, stepping toward Ellie, "we've got to do something about your hair. It's caked with blood. I know how that stuff sets up."

"Personal experience?" Ellie asks, still petting Haru.

"Very," Liska tells her, "you wouldn't believe what I've had to clean out of mine. And you need a bath, too, Haru," she says, looking at her brother.

"I'm fine," he says.

"Oh come on," Ellie tells him, giving one more scratch behind the ears, "if I'm getting cleaned up, you should, too."

Your instincts begin telling you you've been snookered.

"Why don't you give Haru a bath, honey?" Liska asks, and you know you've been played pretty hard.

Or they're playing some weird supernatural dominance games.

Nah, you've been taken for a ride, you realize, as Liska and Ellie leave to claim the master bath.

"So do you like bathing more than most dogs?" you ask your brother in law.

He growls.

"Can you manage humanoid form for dinner?" you ask.

"No," he says, "what if we don't do this and say we did?"

"Liska would smell you," you tell him, "besides, Ellie's taking the trouble to get cleaned up - you want to make her look bad?"

...And that's how you ended up giving a giant demon fox a scrubbing in the shower-bath of the hall bathroom.

He's about as much a fan as you are, standing taught as razor wire, while you soap him down.

Liska was right, blood does not come off hair easily.

>So, how was that walking tour of Hell?
>So, been having fun with my sister?
>So, does being in this form help with the 'rut' thing?
>Who did I remind you of?
>I really liked you better when you were more verbal
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2914738
>So, how was that walking tour of Hell?
>>
>>2914738
>So, how was that walking tour of Hell?
>WRITE IN
>Trust me, I don't like this any more than you do.
> Please don't shake off, I think you'll drown me at this rate.
>>
>>2914738
>So, how was that walking tour of Hell?
>So, does being in this form help with the 'rut' thing?
>How fling does this shit last with you kitsune and how often will it pop up? Cause it’s driving everyone here except maybe Ellie nuts.
>>
>>2914738
>So, how was that walking tour of Hell?
>Man i hope Fred won't see you, i can explain normal sized foxes but a giant one would be too much
>>
>>2914738
>>WRITE IN
>So... why you don't want to get into human form? Got a fatal wound or something like that? Got some spicy tattoos you don't want to show to liska? Are you in bondage gear?
>>
>>2914738
>I really liked you better when you were more verbal.
> I hope you've at least been as much of an influence on Ellie as she has been on you. She's still my sister, and I won't accept you just turning into an enabler of her less good qualities.
>>
>>2914738
>>So, how was that walking tour of Hell?
>I really liked you better when you were more verbal
>>
>>2914765
How long*
>>
>>2914738
>So, how was that walking tour of Hell?
>>
>>2914738

>So, how was that walking tour of Hell?
>>
>>2914738 #
>So, how was that walking tour of Hell?
>>
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>>2914738
This was exactly the reason you never wanted a dog, you think, scrubbing at the the blood clots in Haru's coat.

"Have a fun walking tour through Hell?" you ask, trying to dislodge a particularly awful knot.

"Nothing like Dante said," Haru mutters, "maybe I had a better guide."

"I hope you've been more of an influence on Ellie than she's been on you," you say, still wrestling with the tangle.

Haru turns his head to look at you.

"If we have to go round two over your sister," he says, looking a bit goofy with soapsuds in his black fur, "can we do it when I'm not a giant fox? It'd feel unfair."

"Why don't you want to hit human form?" you ask, "spicy tattoos?"

"It's just easier this way," Haru says, as you scrub another blood clot out of his fur, "you know what's going on. I don't want to waste energy on looking human."

You probably know a little more than he's willing to give away.

"Well," you say, "you got yourself in less trouble than Sachio. He's making a thing of it."

"Holy hell," Haru says, "a youkai and a priestess? That's really happening? We are going to take Japan!"

"If it doesn't fall apart after the honeymoon period," you say, yanking out the knot and getting a yelp, "how long does this mating season shit last?"

"Anywhere from a day to a week," Haru says, "Liska smells like she's coming off it. So get your bets in," he tells you, and you'd never thought it was possible for a canine muzzle to smile.

"I thought you weren't a fan of-" you begin.

"I'm banging your sister, too," he says, cutting you off, "and I think that's the last knot," Haru says, and braces his feet in the tub.

You stand up and pull the shower curtain, as fast as you can. He's going to shake himself. The rain of droplets hits the curtain shortly afterward.

"I think you forgot the rinse," you say, darting a hand in to turn the shower on, and you're rewarded with what you're pretty sure in a rain of Japanese invectives.

Eventually, Haru manages to turn the shower off, and shakes himself a few more times. You go after him with a towel, for the rubdown.

That hair is going to really mess up your drain.

>What's actually going on with you and Ellie?
>Belphegor? You two were taking on princes on a 'walking tour'?
>Your sister's an awesome lay
>You're a lot more verbal now
>Well, let's rejoin the party
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2915110
>>You're a lot more verbal now
>>What's actually going on with you and Ellie?
>>
>>2915110
>What's actually going on with you and Ellie?
>Your sister's an awesome lay

never let him live down, we married up.
>>
>>2915110
>>What's actually going on with you and Ellie?
>Your sister's an awesome lay
>>
>>2915110
>>You're a lot more verbal now
>>Well, let's rejoin the party
>>
>>2915110
>>2915135
>>
>>2915110
>>Belphegor? You two were taking on princes on a 'walking tour'?
>You're a lot more verbal now
>>
>>2915110
"Go fuck yourself," Haru says, as you start drying him off.

"Did you want to have soap in your fur?" you ask, "and remember who put us up to this."

That buys you some silence, as you dry him off with the towel.

"You're a bit more verbal now," you say, while you rub him down.

"A bit," he says, "Hell's, well, it does things to you."

Then you feel him stiffen under your hands.

"Fuck," he barely breathes out, "the radiator effect. If that's real..."

"W said it probably doesn't cross pocket dimensions," you say.

"So I would have been the only one there for her," Haru says, more to himself than to you, then he twists his head back around, "is that what you meant earlier?"

"I was sort of spitballing," you tell him, "but, yeah. What's actually going on between the two of you, anyway?"

"A lot of wild sex," Haru says, canting his jaw oddly.

"Yeah, your sister's an awesome lay too," you stab back at him, "I meant besides that."

"I don't have a fucking clue," Haru tells you, as you dry his head and ears off - it's hard when he's trying to hold them flat against his skull, "and it's not your business."

"There a a ton of reasons why it is," you say, "but I'll take it. Just," you continue, leaning down to whisper in his ear, "can you please look out for Ellie? As much as she'll let you?"

"What do you think I've been doing?" Haru asks, as you stand up.

>Probably that
>Tell me about this 'Butler' guy
>Hell, you're better than her other boyfriends were
>If it's really the radiator effect, are you sure you want to go back with her?
>WRITE IN
>>
I'm out for the night. Hopefully coming back tomorrow.

Twitter, for the runtimes: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

I was once at a bachelor party where one of the bride's brothers told the groom "ok, I'm going to have an argument with you now, because after tomorrow you'll have the ultimate comeback: I fucked your sister". It was a fun night.
>>
>>2915249
>Hell, you're better than her other boyfriends were
>And this is speaking from a guy who always cockblocks my sister everytime
>>
>>2915249
>>If it's really the radiator effect, are you sure you want to go back with her?
>>
>>2915249
>>If it's really the radiator effect, are you sure you want to go back with her?

>"W said it probably doesn't cross pocket dimensions," you say.

>"So I would have been the only one there for her," Haru says,
Oh hey look it's the exact reason giving Ellie those cruise tickets is stupid. She caused issues within a few hours last time, and we want her on this plane for a week or more?
>>
>>2915249
>Hell, you're better than her other boyfriends were
>Tell me about this 'Butler' guy
>>
>>2915249
>Tell me about this 'Butler' guy
>>
>>2915265
It'll diffuse the radiator effect for one, helping Haru.

For two we just need to stall until we can see if Mary can pump counter energy into the system.
>>
>>2915279
I don't think she will be able to unless she is in the same dimension. Then again, we won't know what kinds of energies mary will provide, although it will be funny if mary produces magical girl energy and Ellie slowly reverts back into one.
>>
>>2915265
And yet we're doing fine right now. The only issues are charge up time and Mary seems to have counteracted it. Normally it would take hours more for Ellie and Haru to calm the fuck down to a more sane version. Some of it is probably Haru taking the brunt of it but things are much more stable just from the background radiation this go round.
>>
>>2915265
Well it won't be our issue.
>>
>>2915249
>Stealing her shoes and ruining her furniture
>Hell, you're better than her other boyfriends were
>>
>>2915249
>A lot of wild sex
>Stealing her shoes and ruining her furniture
>Hell, you're better than her other boyfriends were
>>
We should be resuming within an hour or so.

Re-reading your own writing is always weird. Sometimes you go "ok, that was pretty bad", sometimes it's more "I see what I was going for, but should have executed it better", sometimes you think you nailed it, and sometimes you realize you made a stupid typo.
I am still amused by the supernatural spin on 'honey, can you wash the dog?', coupled with the varied attitudes of everyone involved.
>>
>>2915312
Not sure how you came to that conclusion, seeing as having her here will mess with everyone in the yarnball on the same plane
>>
>>2915980
Yeah but it will be dispersed among everyone else.
>>
>>2915249
>A lot of wild sex
>Stealing her shoes and ruining her furniture
>Hell, you're better than her other boyfriends were
>>
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>>2915249
"Stealing her shoes and ruining furniture?" you ask.

"I'm not a do-" Haru starts to say, and then starts laughing, with that odd bark. You feel his chest heave while you dry him off.

And you stay silent for a bit, toweling the giant fox.

"Hell," you say, "you're a damn sight better than the boyfriends I saw. Before she went to Hell. There's a reason she's mad at me for eternally cockblocking her."

"And you threw me in bed with her?" Hare asks.

"It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing," you tell him, "a duchess of Hell wanted to get laid, and you were the least problematic option. Besides, I had years of cockblocking to make up for."

"You made up for it, alright," he says, and then shakes himself like a wet dog, with no warning.

You wonder if Rob's even going to want this coat back.

...it's probably Haru's payback for the shower earlier.

"Hey," he says, looking back at you, as his lips pull back from canine teeth in a ghastly parody of a smile, "how's Liska doing? Melon?"

Conversations with you brother in law shouldn't feel so much like tennis.

"They're holding up," you say, "glad to hear Liska's winding down."

"Hopefully Melon does too," Haru says, "even you should be able to smell it. It's all through the house. I'm surprised she didn't just jump someone already."

"Maybe your meditation training was more useful than you thought?" you ask, starting to comb his hair out, as the giant fox makes appreciative noises. "I'm thankful for it, at least."

Wow, that's a look you never wanted to see from anyone, but Haru yanks it in quickly, as you brush him. Jesus, that's a lot of hair.

"And how's Ellie doing?" you ask.

"I don't know," Haru breathes out, looking away from you, "I just don't know. And get my back, please."

He whines as you pull the brush along his back.

"If you've really getting rammed by the 'radiator effect'," you say, "you sure you want to go back with her?"

You hear a rather indeterminate noise over the sound of brushing hair. It sounds a lot like 'I do', but your ears aren't what they used to be.

Too much rock and roll. And gunfire. and... well, everything. Also, you got part of one bit off. It still hurts.

>Then [WRITE IN] opens the door
>WRITE IN (is this a superfluous option?)
>>
>>2916152
>Then [Melon] opens the door
>>
>>2916152
>Then [Mary] opens the door
>>
>>2916152
>Then [Rosemary] opens the door
>>
>>2916171
Please feel free to vote again, since I'm ignoring this vote. Sorry.
>>
>>2916152
>Then [Melon] opens the door
>>
>>2916183
Boooh!!
>>2916152
>Then [Melon] opens the door

hopefully Haru can tell if she calmed down or when she will.
>>
>>2916152
>Then [Melon] opens the door
"Haru He's my... oh, carry on."
>>
>>2916211
This is how melon´s weird insest/bestiality-yaoi feverdreams begin.
>>
>>2916211
> Then Melon bursts through the wall

SHE SMELLS DOG DICK.
>>
>>2916223
>QMC: "FUCK'S SAKE MELON I PUT GOOD MONEY INTO THAT BATHROOM WALL!"
>Melon: [Horny Noises Intensify]
>>
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>>2916152
Then Melon opens the bathroom door.

"Hell," you hear Haru mutter, and his ears flatten back against his skull.

You only know so much about canines, but that's usually a bad sign.

"Uncle Haru?" Melon asks, looking at him, then her eyes turn to you, "he's my dad."

"He's just brushing me," Haru says, "and we were just leaving."

Suddenly, there's a fox, rather smaller than Haru's form, and a lot blonder, where Melon was just standing, and she takes a few steps toward you, finishing by nuzzling up against your face.

"Can you brush me, too?" she asks, "dad?"

Alright. Her voice is absolutely the bitter end of 'enough'.

Haru probably had the right idea.

"Maybe when you're not, well," you say, as you stand up, ruffling her fluffy ears with your hand out of inescapable instinct.

Melon moans.

That might have been a bad idea.

"I'm your teacher, and your uncle, right?" Haru asks her, looking at her like a recalcitrant kit, "and he's your dad. Get yourself off. I'm impressed you've held out this long, really. You smell.." he says, then looks up at you, "drag me OUT of here."

Well, he asked for it. You haul a demon fox into the hallway, by the scruff of his neck, and say "I'm sorry," before you shut the bathroom door against your daughter.

"She's gone," Haru whispers.

"What the hell happened back there?" you ask.

"Thanks," he mutters, "she's got it bad. Bad enough I... fuck. And she smells like Ellie, too."

"Is sir having some problems?" Butler asks, a glint in his monocle as he leans against the hallway wall.

"Yeah," Haru growls, then jumps at him, wrenching away from your grip, "one of them is you!"

Alright, that's a giant fox trying to rip a demon's throat out in your hallway. Luckily, Butler seems to be pretty competent, and Haru's not using his magic.

Madison seems to have shifted from reading to writing, as she jots in a notebook while looking at the two guys go for it.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?" Ellie yells from the end of the hall, resplendent in a dress you're pretty sure Liska wore once. Liska's at her shoulder, and whatever they did - they did it really well. They both look amazing.

"Trying to kill him," Haru growls.

"Trying to NOT GET KILLED!" Butler yells, slamming a vicious backhand across Haru's muzzle.

"Well," Ellie says, "you two have fun."

>Is this how management works in Hell?
>You two look gorgeous
>I have a backyard, guys
>I just washed you, Haru, and you want to get more blood on your fur?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2916415
>>You two look gorgeous
>I just washed you, Haru, and you want to get more blood on your fur?
>No killing, maiming, dismembering or the like before dinner, were you raised in a barn Haru? That's clearly an AFTER dinner activity.
>>
>>2916415
>I just washed you, Haru, and you want to get more blood on your fur?
>WRITE IN: "Both of you are quest in my house so behave. Besides Haru the food we have taste way better then demon meat."
>>
>>2916415
>You two look gorgeous
>Both of you ENOUGH, Either take it out back or get to the fucking table. NOW.

>Assert dominance, Dad mode.
>>
Also explain to butler that well as a butler his duty is to be next to his mistress. Tell Haru that his job is to stay by Ellie side like a good boyfriend.
>>
>>2916415
>you two look gorgeous
Is this a stealth option to distract Haru with jealousy?
>I just washed you, Haru
>this isn’t Hell, you don’t get points for fighting here
Our usual comebacks to fighting don’t work as well because it’s within their own faction.
Did Haru just try to kill a demon as the craziest way to deal with thinking his niece smelled hot?
>>
>>2916415
>You two look gorgeous
>I just washed you, Haru, and you want to get more blood on your fur?
>>
>>2916415
>I just washed you, Haru, and you want to get more blood on your fur?

> Butler. Just . . . Really?
>>
I'm surprised noone put two and two together to realize that if MC really does have wingman powers then him cockblocking Ellie was entirely because he could legitimately sense that they were all shit or had the clap or something..
>>
>>2916415
>I just washed you, Haru, and you want to get more blood on your fur?
>No killing, maiming, dismembering or the like before dinner, were you raised in a barn Haru? That's clearly an AFTER dinner activity.
>You two look gorgeous
>>
>>2916480
Their faction but our house
>>
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>>2916415
"You two look gorgeous," you tell Liska and Ellie, "and really blase about," you gesture at the giant fox and the demon butler wrestling on your hallway floor between them and you.

"I think this is round six?" Ellie says, "maybe seven?"

"Eleven!" Butler yells, managing to get his arm in Haru's jaws, while his other hand gropes for the kitsune's throat through his thick ruff of fur.

"Who's winning?" Liska asks.

"I think they're pretty even," Ellie tells her, "guess I missed a few matches, though."

"I just washed you, man," you say, "and you're getting more blood on your fur?"

...ok, he can't exactly answer you with his teeth sunk into a demon's arm.

"Draw?" Butler asks, "we do need to be at her Grace's side for dinner."

Haru growls, and releases Butler's arm, pulling himself up a bit, as Butler takes his hand off the kitsune's windpipe.

"She'll probably even feed you table scraps!" Butler says, very levelly, then lashes out with an uppercut to the giant fox's jaw. You hear a crack.

Then things get loud and confused. It's a total scramble.

Wait, they've done this ten times?

"I need to get through here," Ellie says, looking down at them, "and I don't want your blood on this dress right now."

Things seem to be calming into some sort of quasi-submission wrestling. Nothing like the show match the ferrets had outside. Just two guys trying to choke each other to death, struggling for position and leverage almost calmly, but with deadly intensity.

Well, a demon and a giant fox. Not exactly 'two guys'.

"I don't want your blood on my carpet," you say, "or my walls, or the ceiling. Can you keep it in your pants or take it out back? Or are you practicing for the after-dinner entertainment?"

"HE'S MY GODDAMN BROTHER!" Ellie yells, "IT'S HIS FUCKIN' HOUSE, NOT HELL! WE'RE HAVING DINNER HERE! BUTLER, GET UP AND ATTEND ME! HARU," she continues, "...heel," she finishes in a softly insistent voice.

The wrestlers slowly disentangle from each other as Liska goes off into awful, barking laughter, still standing behind Ellie. Haru growls at his sister. Maybe yours, too.

"Eleven fights and nobody's dead?" Madison says, "huh."

Butler glares at her as his clothes regenerate. That's got to be a handy ability.

"Someone said there was food," Ellie says, smiling at you as Butler turns and makes a shallow bow to her. Haru's already by her side.

>Yes, it's dinnertime
>I have some more questions
>Prepared for your grand entrance?
>[WRITE IN DINNERTABLE CONVERSATION TOPICS AND PEOPLE TO HAVE THEM WITH]
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2916840
>[WRITE IN DINNERTABLE CONVERSATION TOPICS AND PEOPLE TO HAVE THEM WITH]

Ask Ellie how she handles Butler and Haru's jealousy. Have the two dudes fucked yet? Offer to take Haru back . . . Or Butler out, if she needs it.

Fucking sick of people fighting as they please. This is our goddamn house. We'll muzzle both of them if needed, we have all the gear. The Spooks and Rat visiting were more polite. *Rick* was significantly more polite.
>>
>>2916840
>>[WRITE IN DINNERTABLE CONVERSATION TOPICS AND PEOPLE TO HAVE THEM WITH]
>What sort of sex toys would be needed for the trip over to Greece, and how we could find people willing to make them so they won't electrocute the wielder, with Haru and Ellie.
>>
>>2916840
>Yes, it's dinnertime
>>
>>2916840
>Yes, it's dinnertime
>Butler, any insight on tracking lost magical girls?
>>
>>2916840
>>Yes, it's dinnertime
>>
>>2916862
Sorry, that's supposed to be...
>so ZEUS COULDN'T electrocute the wielder

Long day.
>>
>>2916840
>Yes, it's dinnertime
>[WRITE IN DINNERTABLE CONVERSATION TOPICS AND PEOPLE TO HAVE THEM WITH]

Man now that i think about it butler won't be able to go to the cruiser...whata shame.
>>
>>2916840
>Prepared for your grand entrance?
>>
Got a pastebin updated? Having a little trouble keeping track of anyone I haven't memorized yet without going waaay back to read about them.
>>2916840
>Tell Ellie HOW we got the tickets in the first place, (seriously? we didn't let her know we think it's some sort of Zeus trap yet?) let her know that if he tries anything then he probably mistook her for Melon, and ask that she leave Zeus's Chad Thundercock intact
but separated from his body at bare minimum because we have promises to keep and

>The merits of long term savings accounts for the girls and eventually allocating a social security account for when Freebles is Lord Ratigan.

>Talk with Sam n Max about where he was from before he was a rat. Also talk with Bernie about how that makes at least two cases showing our clients have been robbed under our noses if Max's origin story checks out.
>SamnMax is also secretly DUN DUN DUUUUN. Possibly Mach's father. he's not quite sure due to fragmented memories.
>Assistant, Don't forget to come to work tomorrow morning. What you thought you weren't? You should know better than to sign paperwork with a dragon you don't plan to uphold.(We're joking but let's see if Bernie plays along with it) We've got great employee benefits packages. He likes his workers healthy so that they don't taste bad if they have to get fired.
>Mach, I believe I told you at the door about acceptable behavior. No electrocuting a bunch of people with metal everywhere at the table because somebody made you mad. Haru and butler should be old enough to know better. (Trying to not be too hard on her which is why she got a pass for the first time she ruined Shelby's chef hands.)

>Now, I think that just because Mary went and got a little bit more powerful than us doesn't mean we're supposed to stop taking care of each other? Who wants to go into whatever celestial court she's run into, see how they're treating her, and drag her out or beat the crap out of their doormen if they're treating her like shit?

>Supafly was playing big pimpin on the stereo when us, Ellie, Haru, and Butler strolled down the steps.
I'm sure i'll think of more later. I'm taking too long as it is.
>>
>>2916840
>>2916874
changing to >>2916938
>>
>>2916840
>Yes, it's dinnertime

>"...heel," she finishes in a softly insistent voice.
Wow, he's whipped pretty bad.
>>
>>2917008
Not like we can say much about that.
>>
>>2916840
>Yes, it's dinnertime
>[WRITE IN DINNERTABLE CONVERSATION TOPICS AND PEOPLE TO HAVE THEM WITH]

"Alright, let's see, this evening, alone, we've had one person become a god, pretty sure I heard you died (Point to Kelly with the fork), been fucked with by a god of alcohol and madness and told him to fuck off, summoned a dutchess of hell to give her and her boyfriend cruise tickets - congrats you two -, found out my assistant is working for the alphabet, found out my old battle buddy is working for the alphabet, and yet we have still managed to make a dinner big enough for... however many people we have managed to cram in here. All things considered, I'd say this on par with your typical Monday, and I'm exhausted. So! (Point to someone) How's the family been?
>>
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>>2916840
"Yeah," you tell Ellie, "it's dinnertime."

"There's even an audience for your grand entrance," Liska says, looking past you.

You turn and see a bit of a crowd clustering around the mouth of the hallway. Someone says "I fucking bet on it getting broken up!", which kicks off an argument.

Well, this is your life, you think, massaging the bridge of your nose with your fingertips. Everything's a headache now.

"Who wants to help me get Harriet on a couch?" Madison asks the group, and gets a few takers from her crew and Mary's.

Ok, that clears the path to the rest of the house, and, most importantly, the dining room. Nobody wrestling on the floor, no magical girls half-laying across the entrance, and the spectators are breaking up.

And, frankly, Ellie looks like she's making a grand entrance. Being flanked by a terrifying giant fox, tails lashing, on one side, and an unflappable looking demon butler on the other, each a half step behind her, really does that. You can't help but think they look like fashion accessories.

Maybe that's a Hell thing.

You step back into the doorframe as they pass. Liska's just far enough behind them she doesn't seem like part of their group, and you offer your arm when she comes up.

"I wish I'd known you when you had hair like hers," she whispers in your ear, "you'd look great with a blonde ponytail. Or I could braid it."

"I never grew it out that far, even when it was blonde," you say, then whisper back, "Haru seems a bit whipped."

"I don't think he's the prey there," Liska whispers, "I think he's having fun. And I really do like the silver fox look on you," she finishes, her head nestling against yours as the two of you walk out into the living room.

"..an unexpected pleasure, seeing you here, Jörmun-" Ellie's saying to Bernie.

"I go by Bernie, here," he says, cutting her off, and waving his hand with a limp wrist, "I see you've added to your retinue since last I saw you, duchess?"

"Some fine additions," she says, then reaches back to pet Haru, "and an exceptional one. I haven't seen you at the auct-"

"He's a great specimen," he cuts her off with, looking at the and Haru growls at him, "I've been making some additions myself - got a pet priest! I just need a princess, a king, and a lucky younger son, maybe an evil vizier, and I'll have the fairytale squa-"

BANG. It's instant, and you take it, but several people hit the deck as two monstrously powerful supernatural entities flare their power at each other and then cut it.

Too bad one of them's your sister, and the other one's your boss.

[1/3]
>>
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>>2917367
"Did you just call my boyfriend a 'specimen', Bernie?" Ellie asks him, one hand clenching in Haru's hair, "hey," she says, looking back at you, "why the Hell is HE here, anyway?"

"I work for him," you say, "during the daytime."

Everyone's at least back up on their knees now. Except Harriet. She's still passed out on the couch where Madison laid her. Some of them are going frilly, or generally fight-or-die.

Ellie gives a terribly demonic cackle as she looks back at Bernie, "so that's why you were bidding on him! And you only went that far?"

Wait, wait, that draconic voice you heard bidding on your soul during your brief sojourn in Hell was Bernie? That raises a whole different set of questions.

Heinrich grabs Bernie's arm, and whispers something in his ear. The mad priest cracks his knuckles, a grin on his face like nothing you ever want to see again.

"I was being generous with 'specimen', Elanor" Bernie says, "I assume the proper term is 'fucktoy'."

You can barely hear Heinrich say "you're a fucking idiot," as two waves of supernatural pressure collide and roil through the house, forcing several people back to their knees

At this point, you start walking forward. Each step feels like you're lifting Mt. Everest with your feet, but you plod on, Liska just behind you. You see several magical girls going frilly out of the corner of your eye.

"If you want to pick this fucking fight," Ellie says, "go for it. GO FOR IT! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KILL GODS! I don't happen to be a god. So I have a good fucking shot at kicking your scaly ass!"

"Your grace," Butler says, "he is holding most of a city, including your brother and his family, hostage. He can burn square miles."

"Then we dump this whole fight into Hell," Haru growls, "I'm a fucking wizard. Get me a paintbrush I can hold in my mouth."

"Or we don't have a fight at all," you say, putting you hand on Ellie's shoulder, looking over her at Bernie. Heinrich nods at you, then leans to whisper some more to Bernie.

"You're all my guests," you say, "and I hear dinner's served. It'd be more pleasant to discuss things while dining than in a Mexican standoff, don't you think?"

"This isn't a discussion," Ellie says, "he's just baiting me."

"Doesn't everyone?" you say, "that seems to be par for the course in this world."

Butler nods at you, and you're pretty sure every smile given by a man with a monocle looks creepy.

"Bernie," you say, "does my sister happen to be covered under that non-aggression pact?"

The slit, red eyes of the dragon bore into yours. You're not sure what he sees in them, but he turns away first, and you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"Dinner does sound good," Bernie finally says, "duchess Elanor, I have made a faux pas. Do forgive me."

The words are good, but the inflection... wow. You're surprised Ellie isn't trying to gut him on the spot.

"No," she says, "but how about we don't kill each other tonight? I do like bidding against you."

[2/3]
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>>2917368
"You are always a fun opponent," Bernie says.

"High praise from a dragon," she tells him.

"You ok, Ellie?" you ask your sister.

"I feel almost sane," she whispers back, "also, Liska should run a salon."

Some pleasantries follow from both parties, as the situation ratchets down.

It is dinnertime, and eventually you are presiding over the dining room table. Various people are spread across couches in the living room, or eating at card tables, or even outside (it's a nice night), but the critical faction heads are here with you.

Liska didn't even bother having her own chair, she's lounging on you, eating from the same plate, and sometimes feeding you tidbits from it.

The kids seem to have done a good job. No matter what Superfly might say, he's taught his squad well. And someone managed to rescue the grilling meat before it burned.

There's nothing like food to unite people.

>Reynold, I'm surprised you aren't dead
>This is now a symposium on rewriting magical girl contracts
>I've got a couple of questions about Hell auctions
>Who's up for extraplanar adventures?
>WRITE IN

Unfortunately, things kind of ran away with me between the hallway and the table. I'll try getting back to some of the write-ins during these conversations.
>>
>>2917378
>This is now a symposium on rewriting magical girl contracts
Stay on track. We wander off now, who knows how long it'll be until we get the right people together again?
>then whisper back, "Haru seems a bit whipped."
>Telling a woman a guy is whipped
nigga you what?
>>
>>2917378
>This is now a symposium on rewriting magical girl contracts
>>
>>2917378
> If people, dragons, demons, or whatever the fuck comes over my door can't start behaving themselves, I'll have to ask them to stop coming to these little get togethers. Which would be a shame, because then they would miss out on the fun.

>This is now a symposium on rewriting magical girl contracts. See? FUN!

I honestly see us enjoying this given that we're an accountant.
>>
>>2917008
>Wow, he's whipped pretty bad.
I will note that Ellie yelled at Butler, in full Duchess of Hell mode, and takes a different tone with Haru. She's still domineering, but she also - I should just say "it's complicated" and be done. Haru and Ellie have a fucking weird relationship, and the fact that Butler is a third wheel to it, and Haru's dealing with being in rut by just basically being a hellhound, makes it all crazier.
>>2916938
>Got a pastebin updated?
I've been really lazy about that. It's more about the alterations I'd have to do to old character bios than having to write new stuff. I should really update it one of these days.
>>
>>2917378
>This is now a symposium on rewriting magical girl contracts
>>
>>2917378
>This is now a symposium on rewriting magical girl contracts
>>
>>2917378
>This is now a symposium on rewriting magical girl contracts
>>
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>>2917378
Despite invitations to sit down, several people at the table have folks standing behind them. Might just be because there aren't enough chairs.

Might be because the standers are serving as bodyguards or advisers. And then there's Haru, who's basically serving as a dog. And a fucking scary bodyguard.

Also the two ferrets, who are quite at home in pockets.

"I hope nobody's wondering why I've called you all here today," you say.

"I am," Bernie says.

"I didn't invite you," you tell him.

"Technically," Bernie says, "someone ascending is a really fucking loud invitation."

"That does tie into the reason I called everyone together tonight," you say, "might even be up your alley. This is now a symposium on rewriting magical girl contracts."

Well, those are some interested looks from the table, and the people standing around it.

"Don't talk to me about symposiums," Bernie says, "I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE! I could have hung with Socrates! I could have fistbumped Plato! And I missed the fuck out! I only found out about them after they were dead."

"That's what being human's like," Ellie says, looking up from her plate. She's on at least thirds by this point, but you guess that makes sense, if she's trying to regenerate - and you suspect Haru's gotten a large portion of some of those plates.

"We don't even get the chance," Madison chimes in.

"Socrates was a dick," Rick says, "Diogenes was a raging asshole. Plato - fuck Plato. But yeah, you missed out. Greece was crazy back in the day. Were you up north?"

"I was busy getting fished up by idiot Aesir," Bernie says, "I didn't make it to Europe proper until the 700s? Something like that."

"We're drifting a bit off-topic here," you say, "but I'm still calling it a symposium on rewriting magical girl contracts. We have several magical girls at the table, a couple kitsune, at least two accountants, some wizards, a few demons, a dragon, two magic ferrets, a fae, someone who used to be a priest, and - Ace, what are you?" you finish, looking at the albino kid standing behind Superfly.

"A matter of national security," Superfly says, without missing a beat.

"So he's something even crazier," you say, looking at your old battle buddy, "you realize, if we do this, you guys probably don't get to go back. You're in this with us, and your bosses are going to be after you."

"You think I'd be here if I cared?" Superfly asks, "we're going to make things right."

"Well, then," you say, "since we have the brain trust together, let's convene the meeting."

>The first problem is rats coming in to audit
>The real issue is rats cutting contracts in revenge
>Taking suggestions for non-exploitative rewrites of current contracts - examples of current contracts, please, Freebles
>Actually this is a staging ground for a mission to murder the Rat God
>WRITE IN
>>
Out for the night. Hopefully I'll redo/update the characters/setting pastebin tomorrow. Although that's going to be a ton of work.

Hopefully I'll run tomorrow. Lately, I seem to be starting later, and ramming out longer posts over longer periods of time, even when I'm actively questing.

Twitter, for the next runtime: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Archive, in case you have the misfortune to be catching up on this thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Shotgun
>>
>>2917565
i miss the lewdbin stories... MC Harem Gangbang from Dionysus Illusion when?
>>
>>2917562
>The real issue is rats cutting contracts
be it as revenge, a panic button or anything
>>First step would be making contracts that can't be modified or cut without the MG agreeing to it
and then we can plan on taking over and making it fair for everyone, i guess?
>>
>>2917368
When did Heinrick arrive? I swear I noticed before that I didn't see him so I was surprised bernie went out alone.
>>2917562
>And Diogenes was way better than all of them.


If the rats interrupt this with an audit then Bernie and Ellie should be able to take on or at least stall whatever shows up if that's ok with the both of you?
I'd also like some sort of camouflaged circle trap for rats not on the invite list around the area if we don't already have one now. Like a fishing trap where you can only go in one way. That should stall it while we finish the rest. I'd like the city to be in one piece too so having a brawl with him isn't preferable but if we're lucky it will be contained to my house.
The real issue happens to be all of the girls that they're going to hit the killswitch on including ours. I'm hoping they wont just remote detonate everyone here en masse because they know better than to piss Bernie off that bad in the middle of his city.

We need an emergency contract that removes the killswitch and stops the soul implosion process long enough for us to get to a long term contract.I think maybe some sort of magical savings account that girls contribute to to keep any girls on those contracts functioning since they will need the energy from somewhere.
We need to be able to disseminate it without their rats knowing. Did you guys notice any weird tics that Freebles is unable to see? Sort of like how weasels breakdance to glitch rabbit brains. We need to disseminate the new info out there once we're done.
>Would it be possible to make an open contract to magical girls (Only. we don't need every girl on the planet suddenly becoming a magical girl because us hiding it in a Liska children's book accidentally becomes a worldwide hit) where they just have to agree once they find it and it'll protect them from their old contracts being cut off until they can make it to us for a better contract? They'll stay full power at the start incase they have to fight anything at the same time, but eventually it'll only keep them stable while they make their way to see if they need/want a new one. That should help against any girl abusing the emergencies fund to drain the account via fighting without having to pay back everything she's wasting.

Add in the main contracts here and talk about how everyone is going to be much more powerful by default so please don't burn the house down.


(At the end)
>I was informed that the rats have been stockpiling over 90% of the energy they get for something big and we need that energy for all of the other magical girls out there. James, just how good do you think you still are at organizing a Magical Bank Heist.
Bernie, you can get a cut too as long as it's just energy and not some crazy shit like but not limited to Hebe kidnapped and converted into a magical girl, but I think it's going to be more profitable for you if our firm has a bunch of new long term clients.
>>
>>2917762
I have way too many random ideas popping into my head that are not in chronological order.

>Call Melon. Let her know what the dinner meeting is about and ask her if she's ok with some sort of one way magical transmission of the events into her room.
>Call Sachio&Hayasaka. Ask if they met any other magical girls lately due to their increased importance. We'd like for her to come in as a representative for them in this very important meeting.

Talk about all the boring bits like health care, retirement funds, maybe some magic lectures for the girls to not have to all be self taught sink or swim situations,taxation with representation.

I'd say classes but good luck getting a bunch of teenagers to sign up for MORE school off the bat and attend them too. Maybe somebody here likes the idea of being a teacher/headmaster? (I'm thinking W. If he spins things right he gets not only the fame from his book but the fame of founding the first arcane academy for magical girls. If Shirley is the one inclined then any objections W might have can be calmed down by pointing out that he can spin this as him causing a great magical line of geniuses.)
>>
>>2917771
Oh and when the turkey or chicken or duck or Cornish game hen or whatever type of bird arrives we grandly wave to it (or take a drumstick in hand)
>Behold! A man!
>>
i've been looking for the best time to say it, but i don't think we heard Kelly cough since he died, problem solved?
>>
>>2917562
>Diogenes was a raging asshole
wtf i hate rick now?
>The first problem is rats coming in to audit
>The real issue is rats cutting contracts in revenge
Loyalist scum.
>>
>>2917792
I think he said that earning his life back and the title cured it somehow. Part of the reason I' still suspicious that "nothing" came with taking the title "Angel of Death" from Grim
>>
>>2917861
He kind of was, but raging assholes are fun to read about when you don't actually have to deal with them and I'm sure he was even more insufferable when he was smart enough to generally be right in the long term.
>>
>>2917562
>>The real issue is rats cutting contracts in revenge
It doesn't matter if they audit and find us if they can't cut the contracts or the girls still get their energy.
>>
>>2917896
I think Haiku meant ALL the girls. They could cut off every single contract they own and establish new ones while blaming it on us fucking around. A nice big warning to all of the girls that think teaming up with wizards is a good idea.
They don't really have to do all of them but contracts randomly erupting would cause some mass chaos and/or ensure loyalty from the ones they do have. Then they collect whatever energy is left off of the corpses of all the girls that just went demon.
>>
>>2917562
>The real issue is rats cutting contracts in revenge
>Taking suggestions for non-exploitative rewrites of current contracts - examples of current contracts, please, Freebles
>WRITE IN: "There is something else...once the rats find out about this and they realize they can't cut the contracts they will use other girls to target us. I know it has a risk but most likely they will try to send magical girls against us in the future."
>>
>>2917925
They could also use it to force the other magic girls to fight us and re make the contract so we won't be able to take then.

At least Japan will be safe since only the big cities have magical girls.
>>
>>2917978
Sending girls after us would be the worst move since we'd have emergency contracts they could sign instead. I don't think even the rats are that stupid.They'd need a more well thought out plan than send girls at the one group that can easily free them.

Inb4 Bernie places a "joke" ad after some cartoons.
(Jamaican accent)
Little children, do you have contract woes at an early age? Werewolves got you down? That lake of crystal not as fun as you thought for a campsite? Tired of working all night but can't afford to stop paying your high school loans? Thought you would have magic carpet rides and got notin' but a filthy street rat instead?
Sue shows up: I had a rat problem, but then I called one of the dreeaamy exterminators up to solve everything and now I can go on swashbuckling adventures everyday. ARRRR.
Call James,W,Kelly and we'll sort that problem right out with those darn dirty rats.
*Short emergency contract scrolls down quickly so that if the girl says yes she's broken free before the rat can do anything?

Is it actually possible to remote contract or is there a minimum distance?
>>
>>2916938
>Got a pastebin updated?
Working on it right now. It's a fucking chore.
>>2917579
>i miss the lewdbin stories
I only write those when I get a concept for one that I have to get out of my head before I can write competently again. Hasn't happened lately, and several non-MC possibilities have been implied or brushed over with a line of dialogue and moved on from.
>>2917862
>I' still suspicious that "nothing" came with taking the title "Angel of Death" from Grim
Names and titles have a degree of supernatural weight, and Kelly mentioned that the title was probably why he no-sell'd Dionysus' mental whammy earlier. He got a couple of perks. The Grim Reaper doesn't really give a shit, because they're redundant abilities for him, and he'll get the title back when Kelly dies for real. Playing games with Death for your life becomes increasingly less attractive when the body you'd be going back to is terminally ill and really old.
>>
>>2918005
Slightly misread on the remake part. That requires girls to agree to that and none of em are stupid enough to say yes to an even worse rat contract
>>
>>2917562
>The real issue is rats cutting contracts in revenge
but we have enough people here we can also be
>Taking suggestions for non-exploitative rewrites of current contracts - examples of current contracts, please, Freebles
>>
Hopefully I will resume questing soon.

>>2916938
>Got a pastebin updated?
Got you. New characters/notes pastebin: https://pastebin.com/wNzq4uun (I even added a 'CURRENT STATUS' to them.)

As usual, don't take any of it too seriously.
>>
>>2919533
Waiting eagerly for the next session.
>>
>>2919533
>https://pastebin.com/wNzq4uun
I completely forgot Roxy exists. Let's pretend she's super quiet (could be shyness, could be ptsd, could be her having some sort of natural affinity as an assassin) and include her in the conversations. She's managed to not blow anything of ours up. that makes her a winner in my opinion.
>>
>>2920403
Maybe we've not seen her around because she's been lurking in our basement?
>>
>>2920410
>Ace and the sneaky member of Superfly's team manage to sneak into the basement
>Roxy emerges from the shadows
>"I can't let you into this secret place that holds such great treasure!"
>"HA we finally found his secret! Everyone DOGPILE HER!'
>Roxy "NUuuuuuu"
>Ace and the others look around and find several peepholes that through creative use of mirrors and lenses show our bedroom, shower, etc.
>They find a box of polaroids of MC shirtless or naked.
>We come down to check out the ruckus
>"Goddamnit I thought this ended with SUE."
>Sue pops up out of a wall
>"Sex?!"
>"No Sue still married..."
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>>2920489
At least she's not a fujo with an eye for artistic detail?
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>>2917562
>The first problem is rats coming in to audit

The other issue is important but let's not rush things.
>>
>>2920489
Is it bad that this could TOTALLY BE TRUE.
>>
Yet again, I accidentally left Butler out of the character sheet. Oh well. He's just a servant, after all.

>>2920328
Magical psychos are preparing, please wait warmly. I had a full update written, but I'm really not happy with it, and probably need to start over from scratch.
>>2920403
>I completely forgot Roxy exists
Out of all the girls the MC has in the roster, she's done very little aside from getting an introduction and being relegated back to the crowd. Well, not everyone needs the spotlight.
>>
>>2921225
>Oh well. He's just a servant, after all.

[x] doubt
>>
>>2920403
Turns out Roxy is one of the few "sane" magical girls that has some actual stable life and just stick to this group because she has to and likes not going berserk.
>>
>>2921354
Its the king of hell in disguise, checkin out ellie to see if shes fit for a queen
>>
>>2921354
Butler is Dad, turns out MC and Ellies dad was into some really fucked up shit and the reason some of her Magical Girl friends dissappeared wasn't demon attacks, dad just took them to "The Basement".
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>>2922646
I like the spy house picture basement better. Less mess for us to clean up.
>>
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I meant to run today, but I fucked that up. Hopefully tomorrow.

Re-reading my own writing sucks. I see all the places I could have trimmed it, made it better, inserted or excised a stray word or sentence, all that sort of thing. And also notice the place where there was a terrifyingly casual conversation about bestiality and incest. Who wrote this shit? Apparently I did. Fuck. Although I can plead that Ellie's a little screwed up. A lot screwed up. And half the internet is beating their meat raw over a genderflipped endgame boss dragon/turtle thing, so I guess it's not too bad in the grand scheme of things.

>>2904794
>we shot her with love infused magic too.
I'll just note that the MC has shot several other people, including two of his brothers in law, under similar circumstances, and they're not trying to fuck him.
>>2905420
>How many Final Fantasies are we, on a scale of 0 to Nier Gestalt?
I would answer this question if I had a clue what you were asking. If it's about the clothes: the MC is currently shirtless, shoeless, and wearing sarashi-style bandages under a red coat with too many buckles on it. Now that I think about it, he looks like a gray-haired budget Kamina right now. Also, Rob wins the 'most likely to give someone the shirt off his back' award. Harriet was playing dressup with the same coat a few days ago.
So maybe a 4 on the Final Fantasy Fashion Scale?
>>2907007
>How worried should we be
As someone pointed out, the MC is potentially magical Franz Ferdinand. You should always be worried.
>>2916218
>This is how melon´s weird insest/bestiality-yaoi feverdreams begin
Those probably began before this.
>>2916686
This is a potential explanation.
>>2917331
>typical Monday
I think it's supposedly Thursday night for the MC?
>>2917367
Part of the reason Ellie lights up here is because Bernie keeps interrupting her.
>>2917762
>When did Heinrick arrive?
Bernie showed up with Heinrich, Angus, and the mad priest. Bernie started drinking with Dionysus, the priest was talking with the wizards, and Heinrich was generally being good company with background characters.
>>2920410
I don't think the MC's house has a basement. It's got a second story, apparently, although I've been treating it as a one-story ranch-style house. I done goofed.
>>2920489
The idea of Roxy going full Bela Lugosi in The Phantom Creeps is pretty hilarious. Please tell me if anyone got that reference.
>>
>>2922808
>I'll just note that the MC has shot several other people, including two of his brothers in law, under similar circumstances, and they're not trying to fuck him.
But those weren't "magical girl" bullets infused by a ferret that hated us at the time.

>Those probably began before this.
Oh boy. I blame this on sue.
>>
>>2922833
>But those weren't "magical girl" bullets infused by a ferret that hated us at the time.
They were either ferret enchanted rounds, or shot out of a ferret-enchanted gun. They wouldn't have done much of anything otherwise. and I seem to recall Freebles enchanted a whole mess of stuff a few times.
>>
>>2922808
Liska seems to be coming out of mating season quicker than the others. She pregnant isn't she?
>>
>>2922808
I figured that whenever we pointed towards the bedrooms that they were upstairs since my limited experience with American houses tells me that's where you guys put your bedrooms if there's a second floor. Madison was basically camped out in the living room which has the steps near it.
>>
>>2923135
This is definitely a place where I fucked up.In the first chapter, I think I mentioned the MC having a study on the second floor, where Melon's room used to be (Freebles coming in through the window kicked the whole plot off.) Since then, I've been writing as if the house is a single-story quasi-ranch-style house. This is why people are able to spectate events in the hallways from portions of the living room/kitchen. Pic related is something like the layout, although I didn't nail the kitchen, (it should be just above the dining room) and the scale's fucky. I'm not an architect, but this is sort of what I've described the house as.
>>2922958
>Liska seems to be coming out of mating season quicker than the others
That does appear to be the case. I've speedread more than I ever wanted to know about canid heat/estrus cycles and mating habits, and the degree of variance (even between individuals in some species) is such that I can just wave my hands around and spitball really hard.
>>
>>2923268
I figured people watched from the hallway because it's a bit of a balcony. A setup designed to prevent sneaky boys from trying to hide behind stairs/corners to mission impossible around Melon's room while also looking pretty good.
>>
>>2923268
Single stories aren't exactly uncommon either, and it doesn't really matter how many stories our house is, so if you've been writing it as a single, you're probably better keeping it that way.
>>
>>2923292
>if you've been writing it as a single, you're probably better keeping it that way.
Why would I have spent time creating that (somewhat inaccurate) map if I wasn't going to keep writing it that way?
>>
>>2923268
i thought most of the rooms were upstairs and people were peeking from the stairs
>>
>>2917562
"Unfortunately," you say, "the first real issue is rats cutting contracts in revenge for anything we do."

"You've already done quite a lot," Bernie says, "I felt that halfway across town."

"What other rats are operating near here?" Supermax asks Freebles. The sight of his head poking out of Superfly's pocket would be humorous - if things weren't rather serious right now.

"I ate them," Freebles says, from atop your shoulder.

"How near is 'near'?" Haru growls at the ferret, then looks at W, "brother. You assumed the yarnball had problems reaching across spheres? (And it seems to, if the Radiator Effect is a real thing.) Then how did the ascension knock us out in Hell?"

"It must have been strong enough to reach that far," W starts, then grimaces, "or she passed by you on her way to wherever goddesses go. Or it's because you're in the yarnball, and there's a conduit, or, or, or - fuck, I don't know! They might know already!"

"I'm down one contract," Freebles says, "with no good explanation, and I've got this," he says, and you feel his little claws move so he can display his tattoos.

With a lot less bravado than usual.

"If they felt that," the ferret says, "I'm going to fail the audit when they send one."

"Did anyone bother writing down what I said while I was having visions?" the mad priest asks, leaning against the wall behind Bernie.

"No," Heinrich tells him, "we thought you were having a really nasty withdrawal. And trying to make sure you didn't die."

"Dammit," the priest says, "because I can't remember shit except pink hair. That could have been Revelation II!"

"I'm not sure you guys get it," you say, "it's not just about our girls - this is sort of a franchise operation for rats, right? You seem to have a lot of autonomy, until you mess up. And you guys hold the contracts for the girls, right?"

You get a nod from Supermax, and feel Freebles' weight shift on your shoulder, as if he's nodding too.

"What if they told rats that haven't gone rogue to cut their contracts," you say, "or to send their girls at us under threat of their contracts getting cut? All over the world?"

The table becomes a mixture of expletives and people sitting in dead silence.

>Alea iacta est - Let's hit them hard and hit them fast
>So, if this is a clarion call already, let's hash out writing better contracts NOW
>How do we play things if a rat auditor shows up?
>We need to find Mary
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2925171
>>We need to find Mary
we don't have to power to directly take on the rats,. Rewriting the contracts won't matter if the high-ups can cut (or force the local rat to cut) the contracts anyway. Mary just vanished, and I liked her, she was one of the most level-headed in the group.
>>
>>2925171
>We need to find Mary
>>
>>2925171
>>We need to find Mary
>I am going to help rewrite these contracts, anyone with divination and sphere knowledge track down our missy pinkie.
>>
>>2925182
Seconding this.
>>
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>>2925171
Liska stiffens a bit in your lap.

Right, you realize, as you look around the room, at grimacing faces, and listening to people swearing, some under their breath, others over it. Thinking at a global scale is not really the forte of most of the people at this table, or standing around it.

Unfortunately, the few who do are the last people you want to deal with about this.

You don't trust Bernie or Butler farther than you can throw them. And you can't throw either of them very far.

"And why would they do that?" Bernie asks, his cold-blooded tones slicing through the room, "it would be like us killing all our clients."

That's a little rich, from the dragon who told you killing clients was completely fine outside of work hours.

"They'd obviously send the worst performers after you first," Butler says, "feeling you out. Losing their worst or most troublesome groups. Nobody hits the nuclear option over Vietnam."

You see Superfly clench his teeth. His dad was in that war, wasn't he?

"CUTTING ANY OF US IS A NUCLEAR OPTION!" Ellie almost screams at her servant, half rising out of her chair, before Haru takes it as an excuse to pin the demon to the wall by his neck. If he clamped those teeth down, he'd rip Butler's throat out.

That escalated rather quickly, but it's certainly brought the table's focus back.

You see the inevitable signs of that focus being 'getting ready to fight', from far too many people in the room.

"Keep him there," Ellie hisses over her shoulder, as she settles back into her chair.

It's a tense set of groups. Your faction, Ellie's faction (which seems to have its own issues), Bernie's group (and you can never tell how far you can count on him on this side of things), and Superfly's group (you're still not sure exactly who they might be working for, although he's talking a good game).

Oh boy.

"THEY HAVE REVEALED THEIR WEAKNESSES," you hear in your head. You'd almost forgotten you were wearing the sword, "DIVIDE AND CONQUER? HAH! THEY ARE ALREADY DIVIDED!"

It's the conquering part that's going to be difficult. And it's not as if you want to conquer them. But you probably need their help.

"LET THEM SAVE WHAT FACE THEY CAN," you hear in your mind again.

"We need to find Mary," you say, tactfully ignoring the interruption, "if she's off in other spheres, or realms, or whatever, it's probably dangerous. And if we're going to post up against the rats, we need her power."

>In the future, can people please settle things outside?
>So I need everyone who knows about spheres and traveling between them to get their heads together
>Why are the rats gathering all that energy?
>Well, Ellie, you've got yourself a less-than-lethal weapon there
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2925390
>Why are the rats gathering all that energy?

inb4 METAL GEAR
>>
>>2925390
>Why are the rats gathering all that energy?

G'night, QM. See ya on the flipside.
>>
Out at this point.

I really need to just wake up, make breakfast, and quest tomorrow, but it's just been really hard to start writing.

Twitter, for the next runtime: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge
Archive, if anyone who needs it missed it: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Shotgun
The alternate draft of update >>2925171 that I wrote last night: https://pastebin.com/a9fpGchL
Not canon, but There are sometimes a few wildly different directions to go from certain prompts, and I get caught up in writing and end up running with a concept to a point where I decide it's meh.

>>2922833
>Oh boy. I blame this on sue.
I blame it on heat, and the fact that still waters run really deep sometimes.
>>2921354
He's sort of a prime minister for more duchies of Hell than anyone could shake a stick at. But he also works for a rather unstable person, and he's extremely used to it by now. Haru's kind of disrupted the dynamic between Butler and Ellie, in a way that hasn't happened before.
>>2923361
>peeking from the stairs
Several people would have fallen down the stairs by now, if I'd been writing with stairs in mind.
>>2925402
>inb4 METAL GEAR
Big Rat? Solid Rat? Liquid Rat? Solidus Rat? Revolver Rat? Ratter Heaven? A WEAPON TO SURPASS METAL GEAR?
>>
>>2925421
I swear to god, if we find a rat that squeaks and abunch of men in fucking rat outfits show up.
>>
>>2925390
>>So I need everyone who knows about spheres and traveling between them to get their heads together
>>
>>2925390
>Why are the rats gathering all that energy?
>So I need everyone who knows about spheres and traveling between them to get their heads together
>Do you remember anything this guy said during his vision?
>>
>>2925390
Fun fact about Vietnam. We DID nearly have the nuclear option. I forget the name of the general but he was barely stopped from launching nukes in conventional war in what could basically be considered a military coup.
>>
>>2925390
More importantly we have to make sure she's ok. One of the first things I heard you girls talk about was killing gods. I wouldn't be surprised if any of those gods used to be magical girls or her apotheosis counts as ringing a dinner bell to some of the more unsavory groups.
>As for the issue of power. I recall W and Freebles saying the Rats are stockpiling massive amounts power. James, how do you feel about planning the greatest bank heist of your life? We also need to figure out what it's for but we can't afford for them to unleash it as a desperate measure if they think they have nothing left to lose. Taking that while they don't know about us or to be on guard needs to be our opening salvo if possible.

>I have an extremely stupid idea but we might as well go full pantheon here.
I won't claim to understand the exact mechanics of the contract cutting, but would your.. condition mean it would be much easier for you to bear the brunt of that thing again? Like if we had an emergency contract to give any girl they send after us that reroutes the damage to anyone or everyone in the yarnball to mitigate the effects if they try cutting ties? I figure they can't manage to do anything worse to you than what's already happened. Probably gotta add each girl to the yarnball to spread the effects out more each time it happens. How much of that is remotely sane? Expanding the yarnball to every magical girl on the planet? Turning Ellie into some sort of underworld goddess of salvation and sadomasochism?

I also noticed that little trick you were doing in the yard with summoning. I noticed that Rick didn't pop out naked. I also roughly remember that most magical girls are a giant mass of demonic energy used for fuel and can get to the point where they're considered demons even before they're contracts are cut.(Glance at Sue and Rachel) Would be be possible to put those two facts together and actually summon magical girls so that we can get them contracts before a rat can react by targeting said gas tank? Safely.This is staying purely theoretical until we are absolutely sure that we can do that without harming any of the girls.


We seriously gotta get rid of that stockpile. if the rats are taking a 70~90%(forgot the exact %) cut then logically even Mary is dwarfed by whatever or whomever they're using as a container.
>>
>>2925390
>>In the future, can people please settle things outside?
>>So I need everyone who knows about spheres and traveling between them to get their heads together
>>
>>2925828
>logically even Mary is dwarfed by whatever or whomever they're using as a container
A WEAPON TO SURPASS METAL GEAR!
>>
>>2925421
>Several people would have fallen down the stairs by now, if I'd been writing with stairs in mind.
>people that can fly
>Falling down stairs
>>
>>2925390
>So I need everyone who knows about spheres and traveling between them to get their heads together

>Why are the rats gathering all that energy?

i swear if the rats are still trying to solve the entropy thing in this setting...
>>
>>2925878
So when are we meeting the living exterminatus Nanoha?
>>
>>2925390
@Bernie
It would be like us killing all our clients when we can find a million others just as wealthy instead of keeping the current ones.

We're in a decent sized city and we only have just under a dozen girls including immigrants. How many teenage girls exist in this city that they can go ask instead? There are over a million other children for each girl here they can grab that will be fresh enough to not try and ask for our help or see if we left any notes behind after they're done taking care of us. It'll just be like writing off a risky asset to buy some new investments. They even get to have the new girls play clean up on the old batch to recoup any losses.
>>
>>2925979
Shouldn't that be Mary?
>>
I figure the rats are being greedy, hoarding something valuable or useful instead currency. It's a common behavior among the rich. They use money to get money to use money to make money etc. Do they need another reason?
>>
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>>2925390
"There's something that's been bothering me," you say, feeling like a president behind a podium, "what are the rats collecting all this energy FOR? Why are they doing this?"

"No clue, bro," Freebles says from your shoulder, "I just passed it on."

"Their own Heaven," someone says, and you're not sure who

"Say that again," the mad priest says, gritting his teeth.

"Their own heaven," Ace tells him.

"In the original language?" the priest asks him, then peels himself off the wall and leans over the table, "at least something closer. Hebrew. Or Greek. Aramaic - Latin, maybe?"

Ace says something you can't understand, and W goes pale.

"מה השם האמיתי שלך?" the mad priest asks.

Then 'Ace' screams something, as he buckles back, as if against his own will.

"Fuck," Superfly says, rising from his chair as 'Ace' sings something while he rises into the air. It sounds oddly like some songs you heard in church when you were a kid.

"DO NOT FEAR," 'Ace' says, standing a foot off the floor, wings spread, and then Superfly tackles him to the ground. Rick piles on.

Yeah, you're fearful. You saw the three wings, if only for an instant. And Liska's gone tenser than telephone wires on top of you.

Several other folks appear to be going 'fight or die'.

But Superfly and Rick are on 'Ace', pressing him to the ground. Those wings are nowhere to be seen.

"I'm back," 'Ace' yells, "I'm back! Get the fuck off me!"

"You gonna stay 'back', kid?" Superfly asks, then glares at his own shoulder at the mad priest, "I don't know what you just said, but I'll spread you over fifty states if you do it again."

"I just asked for his name," the mad priest says, spreading his hands.

"And you had a pretty good idea what would happen," Heinrich tells him in a low voice you barely manage to hear, "don't try it again."

"If everyone's alright," you say, and pause for a second, "I do need the wizards and other people who know about the spheres and traveling between them to get their heads together on this one. We only have so much time."

>Go listen to wizard arguments
>Superfly, are you guys really in this?
>But first, I have several questions about what just happened [WRITE IN]
>Bernie, are you with us on this one?
>Ellie, is everyone doing ok over there?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2926770
>>Go listen to wizard arguments
Learning about the yarnball and radiator effect has helped considerably. If we're lucky, we'll pick up something else useful.
>>
>>2926770
>Bernie, are you with us on this one?
Or do you wanna take your hobo and leave?
>>
>>2926770

>Go listen to wizard arguments

Bernie has o choice the rats already know about a group of rebels in his city. If he want to still have a city he will have to help us. Superfly won't risk the girls contract being pulled by the rats higher ups Maybe the easiest way is having a godness take the contract for the magical girls?
>>
>>2926770
>>Go listen to wizard arguments
>>
Also apparently we found out who is the one fucking up with the angelics sphere now. It's the freaking rats trying to create their own freaking heaven.
>>
>>2926770
>I assume Ace has the same sorta deal Rob has but from the other side

>Superfly how much authority you have to act on your own? Cause this is going to get messy fast than a three day pass for our entire company.
>>
>>2926846
Maybe, but it was only a theory from the mad priest. So don't put too much stock into it.
>>
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>>2926770
"That was a fucking angel," W mutters.

"Half of one," James says, standing behind Madison, then he looks at Superfly, "so, what has the Stargate Project been up to? Don't give me that look - I used to be a consultant there."

So his field surgery on on Rob was something he'd tried before, not just crazy battlefield medicine?

"Where did you get an angel?" James asks, "nobody's seen one for hundreds of years."

"Jim?" Ace asks, still pinned under Superfly and Rick, "Jim! Holy fuck, you're alive! Jim, you remember me, Archie?"

That's a look you never want to see on anyone's face again. James looks like like he's about to go FIGHT AND DIE, as he whispers "yes."

"I don't know," Superfly says, "we raided their compound. So you," he continues, standing up, pulling a glowering Rick with him, "were part of that shitpile? You did those experiments?"

"Wasn't him," Ace says, still lying on the floor, "he was nice. I thought they tried to kill you when you left!" he tells James.

"I thought you were hiding out from vengeful dragons," Bernie says, tonelessly.

"You told me the mob was after you!" Madison says, almost jumping from her chair, and grabbing James' coat collar, "has everything been a lie?"

"It's turtles all the way down," James says, "but it's all the truth. There are a lot of people who hate me. Why else would I be traipsing across the country in a camper full of magical girls?"

Rick's eyes are pinpricks. Butler looks like he's preparing to have the best trip of his life.

"Because YOU GAVE A FUCK ABOUT US!" Madison yells, "because we picked you up and cared for you? Because, because, because... I'm not going to melt your flesh off, but go fuck yourself!"

She lets him go and storms off into the living room, smoke reeling off James' coat where Madison's hands were.

"Ok, man," Superfly says to James, in a low voice, putting a hand on the wizard's shoulder, "you gotta go fix that. Unless you did really mean what you said, in which case - I want to be out of the blast radius."

>I always thought she was levelheaded - don't walk, RUN!
>She needs time to cool off. Wizards' conference, stat
>It would be great if the giggles could stop
>I kind of need to hear about this half-angel thing
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2927071

>I always thought she was levelheaded - don't walk, RUN!
>>
>>2927071
>>I kind of need to hear about this half-angel thing
>>
>>2927071
>I always thought she was levelheaded - don't walk, RUN!

>It would be great if the giggles could stop

>Write in: "I swear it's like trying to heard cats with these people..."
>>
>>2926770
>And what little you said you remember of of your vision sounds like Mary. We need to get her before she starts trying to 1vall vs the rats and causes Armageddon if she didn't start already. We'll still need those contracts with those power limiters removed if we want to stand a chance of being able to talk to her.
>>2927071
>James, I always thought she was levelheaded - don't walk, RUN! Ice cream helps and I stashed some behind the ice cubes..
>While you're at it go try to setup some sort of circle trap to hold an auditor in if they come. Make it her first official magic lesson maybe?
>Back on topic. That means our main threats and todo list is :
New and fair contract terms
Check on Mary and at least make sure she doesn't unleash Armageddon
A countermeasure for them attacking us with girls as fodder like new contracts that let us shunt the brunt of the damage from contract cutting away from the girls or we find a way to tank it via yarnball
Stop them from crashing everything down attempting to make a new heaven. Preferably via stealing all of that energy.
Find a way to get to as many girls and contract em as possible.


It's definitely not a heaven for all of the rats if they aren't bothering to tell any of the souls they kidnapped about it.
James seems to know a bit about exploitative practices on children so probably best to get his advice on what not to do later before some similar or the same organization tries to abuse the new order we make.
>>
>>2927071
>We can port them out before the blast goes off.
>I kind of need to hear about this half-angel thing.
>It would be great if the giggles could stop.
>>
>>2927071
>I hope you meant that as "If it wasn't for that i'd have you girls in a more stable situation"
>I always thought she was levelheaded - don't walk, RUN!
>>
>>2927071
>>She needs time to cool off. Wizards' conference, stat
Stay focused. Can we not have one conversation that doesn't change focus halfway through?
>>
>>2927245
>>
>>2927245
I've tried. Such a thing never works. It got derailed via discussing literally anything else instead of making a new damn contract so that they cant explode us several sessions ago
>>
>>2927276
It happens all the time, and it's annoying, but whatever, this is a looser quest. However, when we're talking about Magical Girl stuff, the literal and -only- reason we're collected this group of misfits in the first place, and we still can't keep on track? That when it really bugs me.
>>
>>2927295
If the rats weren't asleep at the wheel when Mary ascended, all of the girls would be dead by now because we've ignored them actually responding to deal with stuff less important than everyone exploding. Hence myself at least least 1-2 other anons pointing out that the rats are lazy incompetent shits..
>>
>>2927308
Maybe they're hierarchy is bureaucratic as hell. It's been stuck in several subcommittees.

None of them are quite sure who's actually in charge anymore but the interns are working on it and it's on the docket for the Monday meeting of one of the many special investigative councils
>>
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>>2927071
"I thought she was pretty level headed, but it seems like you managed to hit a sore nerve there," you say, looking at James, "don't walk, RUN!"

"Also fuck her," Ellie tosses at him, very casually.

Uh... that's not exactly what you had in mind.

"Maybe just try kissing her before she can react?" Liska asks, "that usually works."

"Ok," you tell the luckless wizard, "get out before you get more questionable advice."

"James," W says, his unusually serious voice cutting through the room, "did that curse hit you?"

Alright, that's one more expression you never want to see again.

"I don't know," James says, "I haven't risked it."

This is getting weirder as things go on.

"Jim," 'Ace' (Archie?) says, in a rather strange voice, "WE can fight fate for you. WE think you look happier than WE ever saw you."

"Ok," Superfly says, looking down at the kid, "you're not back. And don't make bets you can't pay," he says, looking at James.

"Kid," you say, looking at the James, "there's ice cream in the fridge. Usually helps. And get running."

Liska gives you an appreciative growl, as James stalks toward the door.

"I would just like to note," James says, pausing on his way out of the dining room, turning his head back, "that you're all terrible people."

Well, forcing a man to go confront a woman who's angry at him is a rather awful thing to do.

"Right," you say, "wizards -2, dragon, fae, demons, normals, etc. conference happening now. Assuming my house doesn't blow up."

"She's going to torch this place," the mad priest says.

"Now," Bernie tells him, over the back of his chair, "now, you're just being boorish. Want to go through withdrawal again?"

"SO THAT IS HOW THE DRAGON CONTROLS HIM," you hear in your head, as if you'd thought it.

"We were talking about hunting through the 'spheres' for Mary," you say, "and potentially an assault on the Rat God. W, I believe you've the authority?"

The wizard launches into what seems like a prepared speech about traveling in the 'space between Malkuth and Yesod', enduring interjections and corrections from Rick, 'Ace', and the mad priest.

"...The real problem is finding her," W finally says, "anyone in the yarnball should have a chance, but," his eyes roam around the table, "many of you aren't."

He should have said 'us'. He's not an orator.

>We can fix that
>It's our problem, we'll fix it without your help
>Countermeasures against other rats while we're gone
>Why don't we just hug them while we got? That should pull them with us - if they're willing
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2927339
>>It's our problem, we'll fix it without your help
>>Countermeasures against other rats while we're gone
Let's not wrangle yet more people into this mess, we have too any permanent characters already.
>>
>>2927346
also, hugging them to bring them along is just asking to get separated on the way over, on the way back, or accidentally strand someone else. And they wouldn't have a yarnball thread we could home in on like Mary.
>>
>>2927339
>It's our problem, we'll fix it without your help
>>Unless someone REALLY wants to join
>Countermeasures against other rats while we're gone
>>
>>2927357
the only exception to that would be Butler if he can still teleport to Kelly as he wish
>>
>>2927357
>And they wouldn't have a yarnball thread we could home in on
That's actually the theory behind someone who has the connection going 'up' while hugging someone who doesn't. In theory, they should stay together on the journey. In theory. (Freebles has actually mentioned before that it's easier for him to teleport people if they're touching him, or touching someone who's touching him.)
>>
>>2927373
Yea, but I was pointing out that if they /do/ get seperated for whatever reason after they piggyback on our connection to get out there, we have no way to find them, unlike Mary or anyone else in the yarnball.
>>
>>2927382
This is why we needed those magic lessons. They could teleport to Kerry.
>>
>>2927339
>Countermeasures against other rats while we're gone
>>
>>2927339
>We can fix that if anyone (except Butler) wants but I'm not going to force them to. Not being in the yarnball could also be an advantage since when we find Mary she could just flare up to knock anyone out the second she gets mad as we currently are.
> Either way, nothing we are going to be doing can proceed without the new contracts. We need to focus on making sure everyone here doesn't immediately die. Fixing everything else means nothing if the rats finally get their shit together,nuke us, and try to figure out what happened afterwards.
>We need to be able to make a panic contract for if they start cutting contracts at this moment. Ellie, the contract cutting, is it the sort of thing that wouldn't actually do anything to you because it already happened or would it still hurt if we shunted it across the yarnball directly to you? Another alternative is if we spread the backlash out.like we seem to be doing with you right now. These will also serve us well if they send other girl groups after us..
>>2927509
We could just put a giant circle around the city to keep out rats with a postit note from Freebles saying he's cleaning up his own mess.
>>
>>2927547
Problem is if they send a rat audit.

>"I'm down one contract," Freebles says, "with no good explanation, and I've got this," he says, and you feel his little claws move so he can display his tattoos.

>With a lot less bravado than usual.

>"If they felt that," the ferret says, "I'm going to fail the audit when they send one."
>>
>>2927547
>>2927339
And somebody check on Madison and James in 5 minutes to see if they've calmed down. This is too important for them to be missing out on.

>>2927574
We held Guiston with less Wizards and magical power than we have now. Freebles and everyone else was more afraid of Guiston than the auditor. back when the Duke appeared. Ergo Guiston is probably stronger than the auditor. We should be able to trap the auditor in a circle and stall for time as we keep writing contracts if we actually bothered to focus instead of going off on a tangent every 5 seconds at the stupidest possible time to get ADD. The new contracts we make would even give a massive power up to the girls so they could easily fight whatever comes . The main thing stopping us from being able to take him right now is ourselves.
>>
>>2927594
>Hey something odd is going on over there, go check it out
>we trap the auditor
>rats hear no word from him
How do you think that's going to go? It might by us a little time, but not much.


>rewriting the contracts
We don't know enough about them to really know if the girls could be getting more power (iirc), but that's not the issue. The problem is that the power of the girls doesn't matter when fighting the rats, because the core of that power comes from the rats, and they can cut it off whenever they want.

The real issue is figuring out how to synthesize or otherwise replace the treated energy the rats feed the girls to keep them stable. Without that, even if we destroy every single rat, we still lose because every single magical girl will go nuclear in one way or another.
>>
>>2927636
>How do you think that's going to go? It might by us a little time, but not much.
It buys us enough time to wake Harriet up, get to Melon, and make sure everyone can't be remotely nuked via new contracts. Depending on how fast it arrives we could already have the Robbery plan done, try to have Mary act as a distraction during the heist and get off Scott free. Freebles called him a city destroyer. If things went bad then he'd be busy blowing up a decently sized city which gives us enough time to jet to rat HQ, take what we need while they don't realize what's up, and GTFO.

>We don't know enough about them to really know if the girls could be getting more power
Actually we do. The current contracts have power limiters in them and siphon off a solid majority of the mana the girls acquire as payment. Mary broke her limiters which is why she's so strong. Not having any limiters to begin with Could go either side of the Mary standard but in the end there is almost no way that it doesn't turn into a massive power boost and we have nearly a dozen girls here.
We can do corporate espionage on them when we go right to the raiding the rats bank vault portion. I had assumed that if the other characters were saying we could do the go ahead that they had already finished their research enough to refine things but it's clear atm that they didn't think some of the things through.

And all of this has less and less time to happen because we keep on wasting our countdown clock.
>>
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>>2927339
"It's our problem," you say, "we'll fix it without your help."

"If I'd realized how much trouble you would be," Bernie says, "I never would have hired you. BUT, I think I have two idiots who would want to go with you. Priest?" he asks.

"If I died outside Malkuth, giving the double middle fingers to the demiurge, I'd die happy," the madman says.

"And where's Angus anyway?" Bernie asks.

"HE MAY BE USING YOU TO GET RID OF VASSALS HE DISLIKES," you hear inside your head, as Heinrich looks out of the dining room door.

"He's on a couch in the living room," Heinrich says, "losing badly at Smash."

At least you didn't have to hunt him down this time.

"I can volunteer two guys," Bernie says.

"HE'S DEFINITELY TRYING TO GET RID OF THEM," the sword thinks at you.

"I can't give you anyone," Superfly says.

"WE are going with them," 'Ace' says from the floor, "do you think you can prevent US?"

"Yes," Superfly says, and slams his fist into Ace's throat. You hear the cartilage crack.

"He's going to be ok," Superfly say, standing back up with a pained expression, "give it ten minutes. Wish I didn't have to do this shit."

"You don't," Mach says, sparks flying around her head, static electricity making Haru's fur rise.

Supermax jumps out of Superfly's pocket onto the table.

Oh shit.

"You're ruining our dinner party," Liska says, very casually, stepping out of your chair, before you can react, and, yeah that's supernatural pressure in the air.

"Kid," Ellie says, embracing Mach from behind, "I've got a great recruitment program for you. Cut your fucking contract and come to Hell. You won't be able to even manage a coherent sentence for twenty years. You won't have to care - you won't have to think."

"Call it 'internship'," Butler manages to say, despite the canine jaws at his throat, "better for PR," and you can swear the demon's smiling, as much as he can right now.

Then your sister whispers something in the girl's ear, and the lights flicker. You're blinded by a huge flash, and smell ozone.

"That would have killed me," you vaguely hear Ellie say, "if I wasn't bullshit. Think about it, kid."

That seems, oddly, to have relieved the tension in the air, once you're back to your senses. Ellie's still hugging Mach, in a rather sisterly way.

"I told you, Superfly," you say, "my house is dark and full of terrors. You brought a few, too."

"I am one," Superfly says, sitting back down, "no good at this subtle shit. We kind of fucked up your barbeque," he finishes, with a small smile.

"It was fucked before you got here," you say, "but I have something everyone can help with - screwing any rat who comes in while we're gone."

"Wait," Liska asks, suddenly turning toward you, "you're going on this thing?"

>Yes
>No
>Holy shit can people stop trying to kill each other in my house?
>Want to come?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2927706
>make sure everyone can't be remotely nuked via new contracts.
That's the problem, we can't do that. Unless a local controller has unilateral ability to prevent a contract break by the rats and can contractually give away energy stored by his higher ups, they can always cut their end, denying the girls the refined energy, which is Bad End. That's why finding a replacement for that energy needs to happen before we can work against the rats in any meaningful way. Depending on how they store their energy, maybe we could steal it. But take a good look at the stakes. What happens if we get caught? All our contracts go up in smoke at the very least.

What that means is that either: we need to find a replacement for the refined energy (and come up with a better name for it), OR: build a powerbase out of non-magical girls so the rats don't have any leverage.
>>2927761
>Yes
We built this little group, and we plugged her into the yarnball, our responsibility. Liska should stay here it keep the house intact.

>Holy shit can people stop trying to kill each other in my house?
Everyone has been blatantly ignoring our ruling on that matter, even our own wife. We might need to start enforcing our house rules.
>>
>>2927761
>Given how the second I leave things seem to go cock eye or everyone tries to kill each other ? I kinda have too. Also Mary is probably high on Godhood and I'll have to stare here down, AGAIN.
>>
>>2927761
>Yes
>>2927784
>Holy shit can people stop trying to kill each other in my house?
Supportan
>>
>>2927761
>Yes
>Holy shit can people stop trying to kill each other in my house?
We should start to honor our title and shoot people (that can take it) to set the example.
>>
>>2927761
>>Holy shit can people stop trying to kill each other in my house?
Why will no one listen to us about this? Our house, our rules. Didn't we tell Ellie to not recruit also?
No touching
No taunting or otherwise inciting anyone else, not even those within your own faction (that includes power flares)
We hold final say: rule by the spirit, not the letter here.

Also, can we not bring the priest? He will be more trouble than he's worth, and we already made the decision to abandon him once.
>>
>>2927784
You're getting yourself confused.
There's the self detonation they can force and then there's cutting them off which has a much longer kill time. Ellie had time to go find us, make a speech, and open a portal to hell despite the wizard families usually having the only MGs with that knowledge that we've seen. Them cutting us off does not have the immediate consequences of them outright exploding our souls in a very literal manner. Freebles would also have a tiny stockpile from the "delivery" they give him whenever he meets quota since he's part of the supply chain. We might not get a great deal of time out of that, but we get a hell of alot more than most do with it depending upon how often Freebles has to make his deliveries and at what point in the cycle we are. Eg, if it's monthly and he just dropped off and picked up the misc energies, we'd have nearly a full month from freebles. It's still bad but not as bad as you think.
>>
>>2927813
>He will be more trouble than he's worth,
He knows shit. For example, he revealed the angel side of Ace and seems to know where tings are more or less headed.

>>2927761
>Yes
>Holy shit can people stop trying to kill each other in my house?
>Also, Ellie, What did i tell you?
>>
>>2927761
>Why wouldn't I?

>I seem to remember setting down a no killing rule in my house and a no recruiting one for you Ellie. Do you want to kill all the fucking rats and fix the damn contracts or do you want to waste it on bullshit when we do not have the fucking time for that?! Calm the fuck down and get back to the damn topics!
>>
>>2927761
>Yes
>Holy shit can people stop trying to kill each other in my house?


>Write in: "Hariet i know you are awake and listening don't think i forgot about you too."
>>
>>2927851
>>2927845
>>2927813
Be patient with sis she is a demon and they tend to flip between emotions very easily. It's not completely her fault.
>>
>>2927858
We are being patient. It just seems she forgot in the heat of the moment the things she wasn't supposed to do.
>>
>>2927876
Maybe she did? Maybe it's the same as the heat think she can't exactly containg her impulse and so she forgets what she was supposed to do from time to time. So she needs someone, like us, to remember her.
>>
>>2927813
Remember how we voted him out of the quest, haiku said he was voted out and done, and he showed up again stirring shit as usual like 5 threads later? Good times.
>>
>>2927890
...that's the point of all the ellie options written above.
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>>2927858
I'm usually patient with her (and others) while other anons are flipping their shit. She needs a wakeup call about what this is all about for her aka rat revenge. The yelling itself was directed at everyone too. We have rapidly lost focus on the single most important thing we are supposed to be doing, some of it might be Ellie finally leaking enough to mean something which is why Haiku did the expand the yarnball option to mitigate that.
Of course we might need to expand it to tank backlash if any new girls get rescued but we can't be arsed to actually expand the web with all of those theoretical new contracts we still haven't even made the first sentence about in this meeting on contracts.
>>
>>2927761
>Yes
>>
>>2927784
>All our contracts go up in smoke at the very least.
Oddly, rats are more of a franchise-style operation. The magical girls are contracted with their local rat, and they need the 'rat energy' to keep from going out, but (I think it's been really heavily implied by this point) Rat High Command can't cut girls on their own. The rats who currently hold the contracts have to do it. Now, the local rats can be leaned on, they can be killed, they can be eaten for their contracts, but Freebles' contracts (and Supermax's, actually) with the girls can't be cut unless they do it themselves. Magic is really inconvenient for everyone, not just the MC.
>>2927813
>Didn't we tell Ellie to not recruit also?
Technically she's 'recruiting' from someone else's faction. And the speech she gave about it listed all the negatives, and very few of the positives. She might have been trying to calm Mach down, in a fucked-up way. I don't think that was really a legitimate recruitment attempt on Ellie's part. She'd probably love to have Mach, but she basically told her "you're going to lose your mind for twenty years if you go down this path", as a response to Mach starting down that path by trying to shock Superfly (possibly lethally).
>>2927822
>There's the self detonation they can force and then there's cutting them off which has a much longer kill time. Ellie had time to go find us, make a speech, and open a portal to hell despite the wizard families usually having the only MGs with that knowledge that we've seen.
Ellie walked into Hell and then self detonated. It's been implied that she did it because no more demons were coming in through the MC's hometown, and she couldn't meet quota. Madison, on the other hand, stole a camper and booked it to wherever they could find demons. She wasn't a forced detonation (that's a really good term!). Judging by what we've heard of 'detonations', it's pretty fast, such as the girl on Madison's team that their rat cut to make an example of.
>>2927903
>we still haven't even made the first sentence about in this meeting on contracts.
Sorry. It's just that the various inter-and-intra-faction conflicts ended up getting triggered.
>>
>>2928008
I just want to have a go at Ellie's old rat.That is if the fucker is even still around.
>>
>>2928008
Bad example i guess. I recall that when freebles said an example of a girl who got cut off they would start rampaging to replace what was lost.
Later it was mentioned that the rats could force detonate in order to save their own asses. The first example would actually be more dangerous to a rat than just booking it while the girl is still roughly human because the immediate result is something that wants to eat them and doesn't have a power limiter in place anymore. Because of how that didn't make sense to me I've compartmentalized one as self detonation while the other is the engine seizing up from running out of fuel.
>>
>>2928008
>Oddly, rats are more of a franchise-style operation.
that makes sense, but the local rats aren't the ones generating the refined energy, right? So while high command can't directly cut the contracts, they could cut energy to the local rat, with functionally the same result.


>Technically she's 'recruiting' from someone else's faction.
Did we specify only ones from our faction were off limits?
>I don't think that was really a legitimate recruitment attempt on Ellie's part.
It can be hard to tell with her sometimes. Still, it's the principle of the thing. Letting her get away with it sets a bad precedent, especially if we're going to crack down on everyone else for rule-breaking.
>>
>>2928040
Derp. shouldn't type past midnight.
*One is forced detonation in my mind while the other is the engine seizing up aka self detonation.
>>
>>2928042
>the local rats aren't the ones generating the refined energy, right?
This is the one magical point I seem to be incapably unclear about.

Magical girls need a feed of energy that come off a rat. Whether this is a bug or a feature is debatable.

It's a small feed, more like a heartbeat pulse from a server. That's the 'cut' problem.

Producing that is on the local rat, not the larger Rat Empire. The Rat Hierarchy can't cut them off. In theory, a rat and his girls could subsist on any terms as long as he gives them what they need, and they kill enough demons to give him good numbers for the bosses. In practice, there's a lot of social engineering being leveraged at the rats. Freebles was a salaryman in his last life - perfect target, like most of the souls selected to be rats. Strangely, he escaped on this loop because of his enjoyment of yakuza movies.
>>
>>2928104
>In theory, a rat and his girls could subsist on any terms as long as he gives them what they need, and they kill enough demons to give him good numbers for the bosses
That... sounds oddly like the plot line for an anime.
So, pseudo-harem spin-off quest when?
>>
>>2928104
That's a pretty big detail since we'd been under the impression that Freebles doesn't know the secret recipe and had to try and research it with W. And do they not realize that all salarymen hate their bosses? I'm assuming they didn't grab Americans because of how many do mass shootings
>>
>>2928104
>Producing that is on the local rat, not the larger Rat Empire.
Oh. I had a fundamental misunderstanding of a vital part of the logistics chain, which was misinforming my mental mapping of the rat power structure and it's knock-on effects. Sorry if it gets a little rambly, but I'd rather clear up any other misunderstandings.
To start, losing the heartbeat is what destabilizes a MG, eventually causing them to self or force detonate. In turn, Ellie found a poor but workable substitute in constant consuming, which in Hell was demonic stuff, corrupting her into her current state. She will corrupt further over time.
For the rest of the MGs that aren't interestested in slowly corrupting themselves into a demon, this is important because the only thing they have to fear from the High Rats is threat of force, not a supply cutoff. Depending on what sort of leverage the High Rats have on the Locals, cutoff could still be an issue, but is at least less arbitrary.
This means our need for a replacement for the heartbeat is sharply reduced, though having a backup plan in case something happens to Freebles, and for any MGs whose contracts we can't give to Freebles, is a good idea. It would also remove Freebles as a single point of failure. And while I don't expect Freebles to screw us over, he'd be holding an awful lot of power, and power has a nasty habit of corrupting even the most moral of men. If we have anyone with medical surgery skills, opening up a hostile rat in the future might give us a starting point.


What stops a local rat from going rogue, besides threat of force? They own the contracts, can freely rewrite them, and can freely create them with new girls. They have no need for the typical fees incurred on the MGs by the standard contracts.
>>
>>2928261
>In turn, Ellie found a poor but workable substitute in constant consuming
Wait, you indicated here
>>2928008
A loss of demons as targets caused her to lose it. Do MGs need the normal energy collected from demon fighting to keep stable as well? Or did her Local move on due to lack of supply?
Hm, in either case, it doesn't change anything mentioned.
>>
>>2928261
They have other rats in charge of contracts that get training. I'm assuming that Freeble is self taught by now and has been getting training from the wizards since he seems fairly adept at magic.
So my impression (which could be wrong because holy shit that was something important earlier) your average grunt rat "can't" make contracts since they don't know how to do so without soul leakage or whatever. Freebles made a contract with us entirely by accident because he didn't realize he was making one and learned from there about making one properly with the wizards. He has seen or at least had chats around the water cooler with the dudes getting training so he at least had a rough idea with blanks that can be filled in by W.
>>
>>2928279
>Do MGs need the normal energy collected from demon fighting to keep stable as well?

it seems to be more simple than that. The rat just didn't gave her energy because she didn't fill her quota
>>
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>>2927761
"Yes," you say, "things seem to go cockeyed if I'm not around."

"We had no way to know THAT would happen," W says, probably talking about the Gusion incident. Which you sort of ordered. (Although you didn't know that would happen either.)

"YOU JUST TOLD THEM YOUR FORTRESS WILL FALL IF YOU LEAVE IT," the sword screams into your mind, "AND YOU TRUST THEM TO SUSTAIN IT?"

"Yes," you think back at the sword, "I'm not taking everybody."

"And thing go pretty cockeyed even when I am around," you say, "I don't recall 'not starting shit' or 'not trying to kill people in my house' implying 'only with my own faction'," you finish, looking at Mach, then Superfly, and... your sister.

Rosemary starts laughing.

Well, that makes sense. She got screwed over by her own statements, like a cheap courtroom drama - it probably feels good to see other folks get rammed by the same law.

"Ellie," you say, "I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to be recruiting under my roof? Or," and you jerk your head at Haru pinning Butler to the wall.

"I'm not recruiting," Ellie says, releasing Mach, who seems a bit reluctant to let go, "I gave her all the bad parts! None of the good ones! And I fucking told them off when they tried it in the hallway!"

"My god," Liska says, glancing between you and your sister, "she really looks like you! She's making that same face!"

For just a second, your eyes meet Ellie's, in a strange sibling look of "which one of us should feel more insulted?"

"She IS my sister," you tell Liska, then grab her around the waist, pulling her back into your lap to a satisfyingly surprised yelp, "and who do you think I trust to manage this madhouse while I'm gone?" you ask your wife, looking down into those foxy eyes, and stroking her ears.

You can't resist.

Liska nearly slams her face against the side of your head, and starts to whisper, "better not be-" before you mercilessly cut her off.

"Who but the lady of the house?" you ask.

Liska's tails thrash, as she whispers, "you're going to have to fuck me before you go, if I'm supposed to be anywhere near sane," then she draws her head back, her fluffy ears flat against her head, and says, "don't come back in a coma this time!"

"I'll try," you tell her.

>I need a wizardy thing that fucks rats coming into the city
>Bernie, Superfly, I need you and your teams to leave. Think you can take care of any marauding rats?
>Are we all in this together?
>I may need to decline on the volunteers, but thanks
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2928381
>>Are we all in this together?
>>
>>2928381
>>I may need to decline on the volunteers, but thanks
For practical reasons, mostly. They get seperated once we get there they're gone. And we're not expecting a fight here or there, so we can let people attend to their own lives for a while.
>>
>>2928279
>Do MGs need the normal energy collected from demon fighting to keep stable as well?
Not really. They get some of it, and use it to fuel their magical girl things, but they mostly need to supply the rats with demon energy, so the rats keep supplying them with their fix. Some rats are a lot more chill about this than others, but when demons straight-up stop coming to a place, the MGs' rat can't meet quota. Although that's actually a great thing for everyone else in the area. When MGs detonate (this is now the official term), they'll go for any source of magical energy, even if it's not the rat-based energy they needed, trying to fill a hole they can't. Most living things have some amount of magical energy, which is why detonated MGs usually go on slaughter sprees. Ellie was actually pretty smart about it, making sure she was in Hell before detonating herself.
>>2928334
>The rat just didn't gave her energy because she didn't fill her quota
That's prettymuch how it works. Don't turn enough tricks, you don't get your heroin. Work it, girl!
>>
Out for the night. Should be back tomorrow.

Twitter, for the next runtime: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

>>2928261
There are several errors here, but it's the one point of magic in the quest I consistently explain unintentionally badly. (And you bring up some good points, and have some of it spot-on.)

I'll be back in the morning with a better reply.
>>
>>2928444
Nice trips. I guess this kinda fucks my theory thay the rays are using the girls as some kind of filter for the demons energy and converting it into some other kind or purifying demonic energy by using their bodies.
>>
>>2928381
>I need a wizardy thing that fucks rats coming into the city
>Bernie, Superfly, I need you and your teams to leave. Think you can take care of any marauding rats?
>>
>>2928381

>Are we all in this together?

>Write in:"Good because i have a foxy lady that needs some pampering"
>>
>>2928381
>When the contracts are done we need a wizardly thing that fucks with rats entering the city or at least an alarm/trap/cage so that freebles can pick them up. Maybe we can claim that a rat hired a wizard to discreetly put some protection up after rumors that the other rats on the area got eaten started spreading?
Ask their girls how it treats them to see if we stuff it in a marinade.
> Bernie, I'm not sure anyone in my group can actually stand the priest long enough to return with him
>Now back to the goddamned contracts before some other crap happens. We need to see the barebones contract plans before we get into contracts for the long term with employment benefits and all of that. The basic one is just the temp one for if they hit any killswitches on us or any girls we run into.(I recall it being said that HQ can remote detonate so there is at least that as the one remaining problem that prevents anyone from going full gorilla warfare)

>I think that's enough time and the house doesn't appear to be on fire. Bring those two back in. Say they can talk out anything else after Ellie isn't on the same plane.
>Bernie, I've been assuming the firm might be the exclusive/main accountants for whatever new system of governance we create but circumstances have forced us to rush ahead before I could inform you. Did you happen to bring over any proposal plans? Magical girls barely get a tenth(adjust to whatever the actual number is please?) of the output they generate so the new and fairer contracts have a great deal of space for retirement funds, savings accounts, social security,maternity leave (I still don't trust that much demonic mana swirling about a fetus), medical expenses, possibly magical schooling, something for the rats that aren't abusive jackasses, and paying the company for our services.
> Take suggestions on stuff for the contracts.
>I was considering more formal magic lessons for the girls. James seems to object to it for reasons I'm assuming are involved with wherever Ace is from. Is there anyone willing to do so in a reasonably SAFE manner? This is going to be the foundation of the magic/contract lessons/classes that any new magical girls get in the future so treat it as if you're the founding headmaster at some sort of magical university.

>James, we're finding Mary and pulling a bank heist on the rats. I'm going to need you to plan it and make a curriculum of magic the girls are going to have to master to make this as safe a bank raid as possible. That's too much power in one spot. we don't need the rats using it against us as a blunt instrument if they get desperate. Can you imagine how psychedelic getting physically smashed by heaven being used as a bludgeon would look like?

We still have yet to warn Ellie that the cruise tickets are a Zeus trap.
>>
>>2928381 #
>>Are we all in this together?
>>
>>2928537
Oh and add an
>"And are we all in this together?" or at least point out that these are merely proposals to be discussed.
I also think Angus feels left out so he might have volunteered for a suicide mission. Probably need to leave Karen behind as a guide for Supafly since her parents would already throw an absolute shitfit at her going to this barbecue for too long. Her going missing for possibly days at a time when our house was the last known location? Missing white girl syndrome would go on full blast with national media coverage and we might end up uncovered to everything we're hiding from by accident. It also doubles as us keeping those two from doing something stupid together during our mission. We tolerate Angus, that doesn't mean we're gonna wingman for him when we should be fighting for our lives.
>>
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We're going again once I read back enough and write.

>>2928261
It's not morning (here), but I said I'd reply. These statements are probably a bit contradictory:

>To start, losing the heartbeat is what destabilizes a MG
Yes. Either the rat they're contracted with, or the MG herself can cut this off. It sort of channels through the contract.
>eventually causing them to self or force detonate
It's nearly instant, no matter which side breaks the connection. When magical girls detonate, they lose it. All the marbles? Gone. Playing with not quite a full deck? Have fun playing without a deck. And they start trying to kill and eat everything around them - limiters off. This is why rats use this as a psychological tactic against their girls. Having to kill a friend because she's suddenly a Final Fantasy final boss, and knowing that could happen to you? That's a pretty good way to break someone. It's why I personally have less sympathy than Freebles for the Camper Crew's ex-rat.
> Ellie found a poor but workable substitute in constant consuming, which in Hell was demonic stuff, corrupting her into her current state.
Sort of. It's taken Ellie most of her life to get back to even this degree of sanity, and she was nonverbal for years. Yes, she was wandering through Hell, murdering and eating demons, and all she could do was scream. At least she had a mouth to do it with.
>She will corrupt further over time
Not necessarily. There's some degree of 'you are what you eat', but Ellie's actually gotten a lot better during her time in Hell, even though it's twisted her. Hell kinda does that. Eating demons doesn't help.
>If we have anyone with medical surgery skills, opening up a hostile rat in the future might give us a starting point.
Assuming James is still alive, he's got enough magical surgery skills to successfully merge a human and a demon. Bernie probably has some contacts who would take the chance of getting to vivisect a rat as payment. Superfly's superiors are probably dying to dissect a rat, although it seems he's from a branch of the alphabet that isn't directly under the control of a demon.
>>
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>>2928381
"Not coming back in a box, either," you tell Liska, ruffling her ears.

She grits her teeth, as she arches her head up at your hand.

"Don't take a family photo with you, alright?" she manages to say, settling back onto you, "it's really bad luck if you look at it."

Her small smile just emphasizes how ridiculous everything's gotten. You're in a world where that might actually get you killed.

"I'm coming back," you whisper to her.

"So, fuckers," you ask, looking down the table, "are we all in this together?"

"Yeah," Ellie says, "how many legions do you need?"

"Thanks," you say, "but it's not that sort of job," You can only imagine what could happen if you arrived in front of Mary with a demonic invasion force, "it might be good to have them protecting the town against rats."

"Fuck them," Ellie mutters, darkly.

"Sure," Bernie says, spearing a bite of steak on his fork, "I guess I'm in. This is hilarious, and I've bankrolled stupider stunts. You only get those two, though."

"Let me take a wild guess," the mad priest says, "you're immortal here until the world ends, but if you go beyond-" and Heinrich slams a hand over the (former) man of the cloth's mouth.

"As I was saying," Bernie continues, "I can spare you two specific people. And I WILL keep this city safe. You know how dragons sleep on piles of treasure?" he says, and gnaws the meat off his fork, looking you in the eye with slit pupils, "this city is my treasure. You ever hear about what dragons do to anyone who really fucks with their treasure?"

Everyone knows what a dragon does to anyone who fucks with their treasure. But Bernie used you to make it happen. It took a rogue moron to take his teams to the streets during Gusion's underlings' wild invasion, from what you've heard.

Or, you wonder, staring into those cold-blooded eyes, did he actually plan everything?

Maybe you're being really paranoid again.

"I admit Angus and his team were a huge help," Rick says, scratching the back of his head, "but that's going to fall apart if he leaves."

"Then he doesn't leave," you say, "I want to make sure this place - this town, is safe." And you're not sure if any force Ellie has will do more good than harm.

Besides, if this is really happening tonight, taking Karen's a huge liability. And those two are probably a package deal.

Bernie glares at the demon, but doesn't bother arguing.
>>
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>>2930435
"I can't spare you anyone," Superfly says, then looks at Rick, "but I'd be glad to co-operate with local law enforcement in this situation," and he makes an odd gesture at Mach. She glares at him, but a a birdsnest of sparks erupt from her head.

"Deuce," Superfly tells you, "I can put them down as MIA, or on a bender. Ace wants to go, and Reynold?" he asks, looking over the table at your assistant, "you seem like you want to."

That's rather crazy, considering Superfly just punched a kid's throat in for saying he wanted to go.

"Yeah," your assistant says, "it does sound like fun."

Or he's trying to insert his people into the op. Hoo boy.

"THEN THEY WOULD BE YOUR HOSTAGES," you hear inside your head, "ENSURING NOTHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED IN YOUR ABSENCE."

>I need to think about this - mind coming with me for a minute, Liska?
>I need to huddle with my advisers on this
>I need to make sure James is alive
>Thanks for the offers, but no
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2930441
>I need to make sure James is alive
>>
>>2930441
>>I need to think about this - mind coming with me for a minute, Liska?
>>
>>2930441

>I need to think about this - mind coming with me for a minute, Liska?
>>
>>2930441
>>I need to make sure James is alive
>>Because there's a 40% of him dying of fire
>and another 40% of a meguca kissing him so hard he suffocated.
>>
>>2930441
>I need to make sure James is alive
>>
>>2930441
I'll make sure James is still alive. Everyone else start work on those contracts.

You aren't dragging us off track. They WILL get the first sentence done before we leave!
>>
>>2930441
>I need to huddle with my advisers on this
>>
>>2930441
[1/2]
You trot out the ultimate dad phrase.

"We'll see," you say, and you nudge Liska, "I need to make sure James is alive."

"The house doesn't seem to be on fire," Bernie says, as Liska gets up.

You're not sure if that's a veiled threat or a rejoinder to Superfly's earlier statement.

"And we do need to get those contracts ironed out," you tell the table, standing up, "we are down a few members, but can you guys at least put a draft together?"

"Well," W says, as you walk toward the door, "you heard the man. Let's put our heads together on this one."

"I'm staying behind for this, bro," Freebles says, jumping from your shoulder onto the table, "and, W, I've got seniority on you. I am the eldest brother, so I'm running this meeting."

You have a bad feeling about this, but you keep walking.

"Seniority by how many days, brother?" W asks, "although I would value your advice."

"If you're gonna wave your dicks," Ellie says, putting her feet up on the table and tilting her chair back, "get longer ones. I've been his sister since he was born. Fuck it, let the wizard run things," she says, "and could you let Butler go, Haru?" she says over her shoulder as you leave the room with Liska, "he's a good hand at contracts. And I need you able to speak."

"I know you haven't done it," Liska whispers, as the two of you walk into the kitchen, "but you're never allowed to say my family's crazy."

"I'm pretty sure you win on quantity," you whisper back, as the two of you walk past the kitchen, "and we win on quality. Surprised she didn't say 'good boy'."

Liska laughs, then whispers, as the two of you walk into the living room, "she did, in Hell. It ended really well for everyone involved."

...Now you're wondering what those two discussed while getting cleaned up earlier.

Jean's sitting up on the couch now, eating. At least that's progress. Sue's next to her, and Rob is pacing in front of the bookshelves, talking to his hand in a low voice. Several of the other folks are sitting around, eating, talking, generally having a pretty fun party. Superfly's crew seems to have blended into things, and one of his guys is showing off his scars.

They're awfully impressive for someone that young.

"Did anyone see where James went?" you ask.

"WE saw him go out back," Rob says, glaring, "no, shut the fuck up," he yells at his hand, "shut it, or I'll have someone chop you off."

"They do amputations for free here," Sue tells him, over the back of the couch.

"I might need one," Rob mutters, glaring at his hand, then he grimaces, "ok, that one got you one step closer to getting cut the fuck off," and he starts whispering darkly again.

Well, he seems to have things slightly under control.

Everyone here is fighting something.

Sometimes it's more obvious than others, you think, watching Liska checking on Jean. The police officer seems more subdued than usual, even though she's obviously excited that a favorite author cares about her.

It's time to head outside.
>>
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>>2930985
Harriet's still lying on the other couch, with Karen keeping watch. Huh. Not exactly where you expected to see her (really, you hadn't expected to see her at all after Angus arrived).

You open the sliding door to the backyard with trepidation.

At least the only thing you can smell burning is the coals going cold in your grill.

There's a light on in the camper. That's probably where Madison retreated to.

Someone blows a wolf whistle at you, and you glance at a very innocent-looking picnic table full of magical girls.

Oh, you're still shirtless, with Rob's ridiculous coat hanging on your shoulders, over those bandages. If THAT's fashion, you don't know what the younger generation is coming to these days. Although you're not quite sure that magical girls are an accurate sample of the 'younger generation'.

You give them a wink, just for fun, and get some giggles, then walk to the camper.

One knock.

Two knocks.

"It's not locked," someone yells from inside, "come in," and you open the door.

Madison and James are eating ice cream out of a tub with spoons. You can't really read the expressions on their faces (and you're usually good at that), but nobody's dead, and the place doesn't smell of smoke.

You hadn't actually thought ice cream would work so well, but sometimes you are an unexpected genius.

"Did you need something?" Madison asks, then licks her spoon.

>No. Nobody's dead, so I'm going back inside
>I kind of need you two for what's going on inside
>Am I interrupting something?
>Just wanted to make sure World War Three wasn't starting
>Mind if I join you two?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2931063
>>Just wanted to make sure World War Three wasn't starting
>>Mind if I join you two?
We just set our groups on their tasks, they should be ok for a little while at least.
However, make sure after we finish here we go back and check on the contract writers and Mary tracking. They are very important. Don't go blundering into some new "disaster". Please.
>>
>>2931063
I figured you cooled off by now since my house isn't burning and the
contracts are too important for you guys to miss out on, so we gotta get back in soon. . We're also planning an expedition to pick Mary up and some other stuff but I guess that's Ellie leaking some ADD into us. I think Mary's counteracting her a little too. Butler is helping, so we examine every bit with a microscope. I don't trust him or his ambitions enough to think he won't try to worm something in there for power.
>Let's go get some opinions from the girls on anything they find important about the contracts on the way back. Then we go remind everyone that we want the girls to be able to understand all of the term and conditions.
I kinda thought all the girls were hanging out here too. There isn't really anything that could interest them more and Bernie summed up how one generally would feel about missing this meeting.
>>
>>2931063
>>Just wanted to make sure World War Three wasn't starting
>James once you and Madison are done with your bonding moment we could probably use your advice on the contracts. You too Madison. They are just doing drafts right now though so don't hurry.... unless fighting starts.
>>
>>2931063
>Am I interrupting something?
>Just wanted to make sure World War Three wasn't starting
>>
>>2931063
>>I kind of need you two for what's going on inside
>>
>>2931063
>>2931191
+1
>>
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>>2931063
"Just wanted to make sure World War Three wasn't starting," you say.

"I hope it's not," James says with a look that screams 'GET OUT'.

"That wasn't really me at my best back there, was it?" Madison asks, lounging back in her seat, away from James, "sorry. We're having a bit of a talk. So unless you need something..."

'Kindly get the fuck out,' is the implicit finisher her face conveys.

Ok, you can take a hint. Particularly when it's applied with a metaphorical sledgehammer.

But you do need both of them, and from what you've seen of magical girls and wizards...

Time for the grab bag of bad jokes.

"Do both of you feel safe in your own home?" you ask, deadpanning for everything your life is worth. That's apparently thirteen thousand souls, in certain circles.

"I don't feel safe anywhere," James says, leaning forward across the camper's cheap folding table, "particularly since a certain dragon and a bunch of government agents now know I was in Stargate Project. I feel slightly less unsafe right here."

"I feel pretty safe," Madison says, "also, you really need to give that coat back to Rob. It doesn't fit you."

The sledgehammer pounds down again.

"We could really use your advice inside," you say, "although they're just doing drafts right now."

"Of the new contracts?" James asks, and Madison looks much more interested.

"Yeah," you say, "I finally herded the cats. And the giant foxes, and the demons, and the dragons, and - you know the list."

"Also, we're recruiting for the Bringing Mary Back music video," you tell them, stepping back out of the camper, "there's not much of a rush - I bet they'll be arguing over the first clause of the contracts for half an hour," you finish.

"I like editing more than writing," Madison tells you, "wake me up when it gets far enough to need that."

"And I'm not exactly an academic," James says, "don't let on to W I admitted it."

"I will," you tell Madison, "and I won't," you say to James, and shut the door. You can sometimes tell when you're not wanted.

Usually it doesn't make much of a difference to you.

>Talk to the other folks in your backyard
>You need a shirt, and Rob needs his coat back
>You should probably make sure Shelby hasn't permanently damaged anyone in the kitchen. Psychological damage counts
>Might as well find [WRITE IN] and talk to them
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2931550
>Walk through your house on the way to your closet
>If there is no fighting, crying or yelling ignore it.
>Get a shirt and give Rob his jacket back.
>Also offer Rob to try and sort out his hand with Shrooms if he needs to deal with his hand.
>>
>>2931550
>>You need a shirt, and Rob needs his coat back
This is just getting silly
>>
>>2931550
>>Talk to the other folks in your backyard
>>
>>2931592
>This is just getting silly
How so? It was silly all along, but has gone through multiple phases of different kinds of silliness, some of which are more entertaining than others.
>>
>>2931667
I meant us going around in this ridiculous getup, though yes, things have been silly pretty much the entire quest.
>>
>>2931550
>You need a shirt, and Rob needs his coat back
>You should probably make sure Shelby hasn't permanently damaged anyone in the kitchen. Psychological damage counts
>>
Why is it so hard to get a new shirt in our own House? You'd think we would just go to our closet.
>>2931550
>@ the girls.
I think Mary is mostly cancelling Ellie out, but I suspect everyone now has ADD.
The wizards are making first drafts on the contracts now. Write down anything you can think of that you consider to be an important part of the new ones so that you don't forget. Or just watch them argue about the terms.
>Get a damn shirt from our closet already.
>Check on Shelby to make sure his chef's hands are ok.
>>
>>2931692
>I meant us going around in this ridiculous getup
Ahh, ok.

I do find it screamingly hilarious that it accidentally happened by degrees (I swear I didn't plan it). The MC has bandages because Liska savaged him a couple days ago, he doesn't have a shirt because he ripped it off as a pro-wrestling style angle to show that he was injured and not up for a tag match, and he's got the coat because Rob's just the kind of guy that gives his coat to anyone who seems to need it, and he hasn't really had a chance to fix his clothing situation, because things keep happening. Also, he can't button the coat because Rob's a bit smaller than he is.
>>
>>2931550
>Talk to the other folks in your backyard
>>
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>>2931550
You walk back toward the back door, by way of the picnic table.

"What's going on with them?" Myrna asks.

"I'm really not sure," you tell her.

"Nobody is. But we got another member for the Laser Club!" she yells, grabbing Rachel's shoulder and squeezing one of Superfly's crew between the two of them.

There was a time you might have thought you were good at reading expressions. That moment is gone, eaten by dragons, bludgeoned to death by magical girls, destroyed by demons.

"Are you really calling it that?" Rachel asks, "it's a dumb name."

"Yours was worse," Myrna tells her, "hey," she says, looking at the girl sandwiched between them, "isn't Laser Club an awesome name?"

They seem to have forgotten about you for the moment.

"Well," the girl says, her eyes shifting around to read the room, "it's better than Long-Range Tactical Assets Club."

"LRTAC would actually be a cool acronym," Rachel says.

"What if we kept the acronym," Einz says, "but had 'Laser Club' as the informal name?"

"Laser Warriors would be better," Rachel tells her, "it's got bite to it."

"I kind of like Laser Club," the girl says, then looks at her food, "but we aren't really on the same team."

"I was just talking to Superfly," you say, "sounds like we're all on the same team for now. And they're talking magical girl contracts in the dining room. Want to get your bids in?"

Rachel's and Einz' heads snap around to look at you. From what you remember, their contracts were really bad.

"Fuck yes," Rachel says, and starts getting up, then looks around at the other girls, "LRTAC? And we decide the informal name later?"

"LRTAC!" you hear them yell, as you open your back door.

Next thing you know, they'll unionize.

Ok, nobody's dead in the living room. Harriet's still passed out, but that's nearly normal. You don't smell brimstone, or fire, nobody's screaming (although you hear a few shouts from the dining room), Liska's defending some romantic pairing in her books against Jean's verbal assault, but they both look like they're enjoying it, and you don't see any blood anywhere.

"Hey," you say to Rob, as you shrug off his jacket. He's standing by the bookcase, thumbing through a volume of something, "thanks for the coat, brother."

You hand it to him, and her asks, "I/WE/I are/am, no," he says, glaring at his hand, "I'm in control here," and he looks back at you, "glad it was helpful," he says, "why does it smell like wet dog?"

"In-laws," you tell him, in a low enough voice that hopefully nobody heard it, "we can wash it for you."

"Nah," he says, slinging it on, "smells like my/our home, too."

"You alright?" you ask.

"Hell no," he says, in an even lower voice, "but I/we will manage. And I am in control. Thanks, though."

"Kid," you say, "there's half an angel in the house. Are you in that much control?"

Rob takes a step toward you.

"My hand wants virgin sacrifices," he whispers, "he doesn't get any. I'm in that much control."

[1/2]
>>
>"My hand wants virgin sacrifices"

Well depending of the type of sacrifice. I mean once the girl bleeds she isn't a virgin anymore right?
>>
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>>2932073
"If it gets too bad," you tell him, and put your hand on his shoulder, "let us know."

"I will," Rob says.

"And if you see Melon," you say, "run."

Rob smirks, "yeah, I'll do that too. There'd be a how many way race to see who could kill me/us first? Blondes aren't really my type, anyway. Not his, either," he says, glancing at his hand.

Jesus, it's probably like having the sword in your head all the time.

"I DO RESENT THAT REMARK, LORD," you hear in your mind.

...Except it can talk and act through you, and it's a demon. And it's always there.

"YOU PRAISE ME WITH FAINT DAMNS," echoes through your head, "HE IS SOLID, FROM WHAT I HAVE SEEN OF HIS SOUL. HE MAY FIGHT IT, OR BECOME ONE WITH IT, BUT HE WILL NOT BE EATEN."

"At least nine ways?" you ask, "and the opportunists who want a fun fight. Keep it up," you say, "but if it gets too hard, say something before you go off."

"I'll let you know," Rob says, grinning, "whose ropes were those? I might need a set. Well, someone around me might need a set."

"Kelly's," you tell him, "ask him after the meeting. Or maybe talk to Iris," and you belatedly realize what you implied, "I need to hit my closet and get a shirt."

"Probably," Rob says, looking at your chest, "by the way, can I use your home gym?"

"Go for it, kid," you say, "it's in the garage," and you turn and walk into the hallway. You can hear Melon's soft, sleepy breathing as you pass the burst-open door to her room. At least she never sleepwalks, although you wonder how she managed to get to sleep in this house, with the sheer amount of crazy on display.

It takes scant seconds to reach your room and finally get another shirt on.

You don't usually wear T-shirts, but it'll have to do.

Fuck. You're negotiating with a dragon, a government representative, and several demons. A T-shirt isn't going to cut it. Well, another button-down gets to die in the line of duty tonight.

You're buttoning it up, when you realize...

>Liska seems to have followed you in
>Sue seems to have followed you in
>Shelby seems to have followed you in
>This is all fucking crazy, and you have a wizards' conference to attend
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2932203
>>This is all fucking crazy, and you have a wizards' conference to attend
STAY. FOCUSED. We can do it.


>"Go for it, kid," you say, "it's in the garage,"
The same garage with the lights that blew out so hard they threw glass everywhere?
>>
>>2932203
>Sue seems to have followed you in, "You said earlier you, wanted to talk to me?"
>>
>>2932203
>Shelby seems to have followed you in
>>
>>2932187
>depending of the type of sacrifice
I'm pretty sure the sacrificial ritual Rob's hand has in mind involves a hard rod, and isn't fatal. One of Rob's greatest hardships is that he had to switch his jack hand to his non-demon one.
>once the girl bleeds she isn't a virgin anymore right?
It's entirely possible (and somewhat likely, in the case of people who do fun sports, or kill demons for kicks) to tear the hymen without any sort of sexual activity. There seems to be a metaphysical weight to virginity beyond the mechanical side, based on several things mentioned already: the invoice for virgins (on an account where Bernie was heavily implied to have killed the client after seeing it), Harriet's comments about the things/people that might target magical girls, and if Butler wasn't just fucking with the MC, demons can sense virgins (possibly to determine whether offerings are acceptable?).
>>2932220
>The same garage with the lights that blew out so hard they threw glass everywhere?
I guess I could have been clearer, but Rob was asking permission to use it in general as an oblique comment on the MC's muscles, not saying "gotta go pump iron right now!"
>>
>>2932263
>not saying "gotta go pump iron right now!"
Oh. I'd assumed he was wanting to work off some energy from dealing with his hand or something.
>>
>>2932203
>This is all fucking crazy, and you have a wizards' conference to attend
>>