The moment you found out Melon (your daughter) was a magical girl - well, that was like pulling the plug in a sink.Everything flowed from there.Then your wife, Liska, came out as a kitsune, you had a lot of tense conversations with Melon's friends (magical girls, jesus!), you made the rat/ferret/thing (he calls himself Freebles) that had Melon's contract swear loyalty to you - yakuza-style, you met some wizards (whose daughters were magical girls), and your boss at the accounting firm, Bernie, turned out to be a dragon. And you went to visit your in-laws.It's not even worth listing all the crazy shit you pulled during all those things. You'd be here all night.Although you have shot both arms off at least three people of varying supernatural origins, and they've been fine in the morning. The demons you kneecapped weren't.You've also got one demon (who claims to be a commander of a legion, and the local police chief) swearing fealty to you, and a guy who got half a demon transplanted into him is your sworn brother.Oh, right, three wizards are too.Did you mention you'd be here all night if you tried to explain how things got to this point?And it seems like Liska and Melon went into heat a couple of days ago, and that's proving to be incredibly awkward. They've been pretty obviously fighting it, but it does come through sometimes.You got a new assistant at your day job, doing accounting for gods, and he got the 'toss him in the deep end' swimming lessons for the supernatural world. Turns out his girlfriend is a leanan sídhe, he doesn't know, and she'd really like to keep it that way.Well, you can sympathize.If Reynold starts writing poetry, you'll give him the PSA about fucking supernatural creatures.But right now, most of the people in your house are on your floor, or on your couch (or your loveseat, or your recliner), and very unconscious.They got hit with magical recoil through the 'yarnball' (you're assured that's the correct magical term) when Mary, one of Melon's friends, appeared to ascend to goddesshood.That looked very painful.Getting kicked in the face by Harriet, right after you'd woken her up (apparently just by touching her), and accidentally dredged up some bad memories for her or something, was pretty painful.You grit your teeth, and kneel down by the couch she's laying on.[1/2]Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=ShotgunTwitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge
>>2868354Traditionally bad luck comes in threes.So far we have Family Heat, and Goddess Out The House. What could the third blow be?
>>2868372I'm thinking Harriet will up and try to quit.
>>2868404*Concern*.Harriet "quitting" implies trying for a reboot.
>>2868431Exactly, it would be the final and most dramatic of the bad luck so far.
>>2868354"It's going to be ok this time," you tell the local time traveler, "we'll find her."You lean over the couch to hug the magical girl, fully expecting her to smash your face again."I told you to get out," Harriet whispers, stiffening in your arms as you embrace her, "what part of that don't you get?"You sigh. "Don't think we've scratched this timeline yet," you say, holding her tighter, as you feel her shake with sobs, "we've done crazier shit with less info than we have on this - we'll bring her back, but we need to make sure everyone's ok-"Then Harriet shoves you off her, one hand squarely slamming into your nose, and a knee peeling you away from her.And she starts crying again, as you try picking yourself up, a bit dazed. Liska is on her before she can take another sobbing breath, pinning the magical girl to the couch."Ssh," Liska says, "it's going to be ok. And if you do that to him again," she hisses, barely loud enough that you can hear it, "I WILL 'hard reset' you. It's going to be ok," she continues, transitioning toward hugging the magical girl instead of holding her down by sheer force, "it's going to be ok, Harriet. It's going to be fine," and then she starts whispering, as she grasps Harriet in her arms."Can someone please explain what's going on?" W asks from next to or under you, a bit disoriented.Somehow you ended up trying to pick yourself up using his throat."Feedback from Mary's ascension," you say quickly, removing your hand and standing back up, "some other stuff. I was hoping you could answer that - you're my academic wizard.""That's," and he takes a deep breath, looking at Alice, "thanks for picking me up again," he tells her."This isn't the first time, is it?" she asks him, as you look over at the couch. Harriet's almost burrowed into Liska, and you can see the smears of her tears across your wife's clothes.Alright, that looks like it's working out ok. But not... 'too ok'.Time to see if you can revive other folks.You begin make a circuit around the room, 'checking for pulses'. Eyes begin fluttering open in your wake, with gasps of breath.You get to Rob, still bound on the floor, and his eyes snap open."That was a fuckin' nightmare," he says, still groggy.Then you make you way toward where Officer Jean Macleod is bending over her daughter Sue.>Just touch Sue's neck>Ask Jean for permission and then do it>Congratulate Jean on her work while you were unconscious>I promise, not all of our house parties are like this>WRITE IN
>>2868508>I promise, not all of our house parties are like this>Is Sue alright?I'm under the assumption that police officers know how to check for a pulse.
>>2868508>>Just touch Sue's neck
>>2868508>>I promise, not all of our house parties are like this>Just touch Sue's neck
>>2868517>ask permission first
>>2868508>"Pardon me.">Just touch Sue's neck>"I promise, not all of our house parties are like this."
>>2868508"Can I check for a pulse?" you ask, as you come alongside Jean."Sue's got one," she says, "but ok."Almost as soon as your fingers touch the girl's neck, her eyes open, and she gives you a look that makes you take your hand back about as fast as you can manage."Why's your nose bleeding?" Sue asks, slurring her words a bit.It is?"Jeez!" Jean says, after she looks over at you, "what happened to you?"Alright, it's got to be bad, if it's getting that kind of reaction. You glance down, and realize there's blood on your shirt."I promise," you say, "not all our house parties are like this."Your private suspicion is that Harriet did it, but you can't rule out having a Scanners-style nosebleed from what's happened."I hope not," Jean says, "sit down and pinch above your nostrils - keep your head tilted back," she tells you, almost manhandling you to the floor as you comply."Sue, are you ok?" she asks, turning back to her daughter."Yeah," Sue tells her, sitting up, "still a bit off," she says, then leans against you as you try to staunch the blood from your nose."Sue," Jean says in a warning tone, as she kneels down and plants a hand against the wall between her daughter's head and your shoulder."I've seen some of your memories," she tells her daughter, as if you've disappeared from their world, and you're definitely wishing you could, "don't. Please don't.""What," Sue asks, "do you want him?">I need to go check in with my wizards, now that they're up>I'm happily married>Just sit quietly>We have a lot bigger fish to fry right now>WRITE IN
>>2868654>We have a lot bigger fish to fry right now>>I need to go check in with my wizards, now that they're up
>>2868667Supportan.Good evening, QM. Nice to see this resuming again.
>>2868654>>I'm happily married
>>2868654>I need to go check in with my wizards, now that they're up>We have a lot bigger fish to fry right nowBecause holy crap do we need to unfuck our shit FAST.
>>2868654>Once again, I'm married.>We have a lot bigger fish to fry right now
>>2868654>>2868667>Pluss I'm pretty sure that'd feel like riding your dad's dick at this point.
>>2868654> . . . Still married.
>>2868654>I need to go check in with my wizards, now that they're up>We have a lot bigger fish to fry right now
>>2868654>I need to go check in with my wizards, now that they're up
>>2868654"No," Jean tells her, then tilts her head down a bit, her hair falling in front of her eyes, "I just don't want you to make some of my mistakes.""Am I one of those mistakes?" Sue hisses.You hope you never see an expression like Jean's in that moment ever again. If Sue was fishing to stab a nerve, she hit it.Jean leans forward and hugs Sue, then says in a low voice, "you're the only thing I don't regret from that part of my life. And I KNOW I don't always act like it," she continues, dragging her daughter's head down onto her shoulder, "but you - you're -" and they trail off into mumbles and whispers.You've got bigger, well, different if not larger, fish to fry, you think, standing up.Because that's a fish you can't help fry.And you're beginning to think the 'recoil' from Mary destabilized everyone plugged into the yarnball, at least a bit."Good luck," you say to both of them, as you step back toward the center of the room."Ok," W says, still laying on the loveseat, "my working theory is that you being the center of the yarnball allowed you to revive us from that faster than we would have gotten up ourselves. Because I will not believe you actually have the Royal Touch.""Glad to hear it," you say, and glance at Liska, who's sitting up next to Harriet on the couch, one arm around the magical girl - Harriet looks a lot better, "I don't want to go for another Hundred Years' War. So, what's the chance anyone else felt that? Can magically sensitive people still feel Mary through the yarnball? Where did she go?""Hey kid," W says, sitting up and gesturing at Reynold, "what'd it feel like when that happened?""I don't remember much," your assistant says, "I got dazed - don't think I hit the floor. Might have.""Anything that pumped out that much magic," W says, "wrote 'someone is here' in mile-high letters in the sky. 'Someone powerful is here', even.""And I have no idea where she went," he continues, "but she's still out there. I can still sort of feel her - it's really faint.""I've got a thready feeling of her," James says, then looks at you under his brows, "she's farther away than Hell.">Everyone who can, get ready to post up to a god>Everyone who can, get ready to post up to a dragon>Ok, let's try getting ourselves, well, ok with ourselves>Time for a round of: Who's the government mole?>WRITE IN
>>2868836>Ok, let's try getting ourselves, well, ok with ourselves>Time for a lightning round of: Who's the government mole?
>>2868836>WRITE INShe's a God now? Should we try prayer?
>>2868836>Ok, let's try getting ourselves, well, ok with ourselves>Ok anything we can do to not get our daughters cut off from magic? Cause freebles ex boss had to feel that.
>>2868836>Ok, let's try getting ourselves, well, ok with ourselves
>>2868836Supporting >>2868852What would her domains of power be anyway?
>>2868868I'll throw in with this.
>>2868836"Well," you say, "she's a goddess now. Who wants to try prayer?""Hail Mary, full of grace," Reynold says."She's got a really inconvenient name for that," W says, "ok, Rick," he says, looking at the demon police chief, "you're giving me the good stuff on summoning - how it works from the other side. From other domains."Rick crooks an eyebrow at you, and you nod. The the two of them walk off together."The terrible part is that we need to," you say, flopping back on the couch next to Liska, and look over at Jean hugging Sue, "get ourselves, well, ok with ourselves.""Last chance to leave," you tell Reynold and Rosemary, "you walk out, ok, you weren't here. Two hundred miles out of town as fast as you can.""And what if we don't?" Reynold asks, "what if I want to stay on?""Time for a lightning round," you say, looking around the room, catching important eyes, "of WHO'S THE GOVERNMENT MOLE?""First game: who's wearing the wire?" you say, and you never thought you'd be so overjoyed to see Shelby tear clothes off a man."Holy fucking-" Reynold says, as Shelby rips a bug off his chest and tosses it to you."I got the option on killing you," Kelly says, starting down Rosemary, "inside guest right.""Make a move and this guy's dead," Shelby tells her, a blade across Reynold's throat, "alright, boss," he says to you, "what do we do?">Tell the 'wire'/'bug' you want to negotiate>Crush the bug - then offer them a chance with you>Last chance. Get out of town, and take this with you>Think you two could negotiate a deal?>WRITE IN
>>2868979>Tell the 'wire'/'bug' you want to negotiate.It's our strength.Also point out that whatever precautions they took, they probably can't stand up to a large gang of magical girls, THREE wizards, the Japanese Yokai powers, and whatever kludged together American Innovation you can come up with to interrogate these people. After all, we have Cold Iron.Never mind if Mary reaches out to us.Or if we call up Bernie. Or go full fuck it and summon Ellie. Or Dionysus. Wonder how much a Fae soul goes for. Reynolds just gets to watch. Or maybe he wants to be a living soul in Hell. We DO owe Ellie one.But for now? Right now, we aren't exactly hostile. Just looking to simplify things.
>>2868979I am too fucking tired to even think about this right now. Good night, catch ya tomorrow, QM.>>2869002Eh, seconding.
>>2868979I support >>2869002
>>2868979JFC YES +1 TO >>2869002
>>2869002Well I was going to vote for that option with the usual benign deadpan look on my face.Now I'm going to vote for that option like I'm packing an Abrams tank in my pants.>>2868979>Tell the 'wire'/'bug' you want to negotiate
>>2869002Oh, at the end of it point out that we have a demon here already, but he's not really as mean as the rest of us.
>>2868979>>Tell the 'wire'/'bug' you want to negotiate
>>2868979"Alright," you say, holding Reynold's bug in front of you like a torch singer mouthing a stage mic, "I'd like to negotiate. So call one of your subordinates' phones, and we can have a talk."Reynold's phone starts going off."Make him answer it," Kelly says to Shelby, "in case it goes off in his face.""Answer it," Shelby tells Reynold, while Rosemary looks on with an utterly unreadable expression."Hello?" Reynold asks, bring the phone up to his ear with some trepidation."Get the number," Kelly tells him, "write it down. Also," he says, looking at you for a second, "smash that bug."At the very least, smashing the bug seems reasonable, so you prepare to hit it against the floor a few times."Let me handle it," Madison says, taking it from you, and she slags the whole thing seconds after she has it in her hand."You know why these are caller burner phones, right?" Kelly says, digging an old flip-phone out of a pocket of his voluminous coat, "and if you have that number CUT THE CALL! Make SURE he cut it, Shelby!""He cut it," the redhead tells his father, "so how do we deal with their phones? They've probably got GPS.""Slag them and run," Kelly says, then looks back at the room for a second, "but hell, this is why I don't bring EVERYONE on a job - this is a house. We can't really do that. Hey, catch!" he yells, tossing you a dumbphone - a Nokia candybar, then says, "give our brother the number! Also, jack the SIM out of his phone - I'll take her-""I'm freelance," Rosemary tells him, as she throws Kelly over her shoulder, and he plants his feet on the wall and launches himself back at her."I knew you'd be a genius without me," she says, wallowing on your carpet, Kelly holding an arm behind her back.By this time, you've finally punched in the number Shelby gave you into the old phone.It gets about half a ring before it picks up."Good evening," a cultured voice says, "may I ask who is calling?">THE SHOTGUN SHOGUN, bitch>I believe you should have a good idea who I am. Who are you?>You want me to wave my cock at you?>I'm afraid I'm a telemarketer, selling "don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you" insurance>WRITE IN
>>2869115> Pretty sure that's my line here, buddy. I have your people, and my people have your number. Literally. So you want to give me an explanation or do I have to dig one out of them.Can anyone block the hearing of our two spies? Tie them up? We should call everyone in here so they can't escape sneakily somehow.Then we can question Reynolds and Rosemary about it afterwards to double check our info.
>>2869115I'm really tempted to go full Les Grossman here
>>2869002>>2869115Also in hindsight lets also ask if we should Conference Call Bernie.
>>2869115>>You want me to wave my cock at you?>>I'm afraid I'm a telemarketer, selling "don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you" insurance
>>2869115>You want me to wave my cock at you?>I believe you should have a good idea who I am. Who are you?
>>2869115>I'm afraid I'm a telemarketer, selling "don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you" insurance
>>2869115>I believe you should have a good idea who I am. Who are you?I just hope the voice in the other side of the line doesn't introduces himself as a man of wealth and taste.
>>2869115>mouth at someone to get the restraints>I believe you should have a good idea who I am. Who are you?
>>2869115>THE SHOTGUN SHOGUN, who is selling don't fuck with me and I don't fuck with you insurance
>>2869115"Pretty sure that's my line here, buddy," you say, "I believe you should have a good idea who I am. So who are you?""I'm a voice," the voice says, sounding just just oddly familiar."Yeah," you say, beginning to pace around the living room, "you're a voice that sent a dude with a wire to my house. You got a warrant? I'm not doing anything illegal.""Don't need a warrant," the voice says, and now you've got it, "special jurisdiction - an' I think shootin' down satellites is pretty illegal. Surrender yo' ASAT.""Superfly?" you ask."Deuce?" the voice asks you, "holy hell, it's you?""I'm just a telemarketer," you say, "selling 'do not fuck with me, I do not fuck with you' insurance. Want to buy some?""Yeah," the voice says, "don't fuck with me, holy shit, Deuce, you're alive! What the hell's going on?""Lots of stuff," you say, "I managed to not drink myself to death. I even got married! How the hell'd you wind up sandbagging for - what the hell are you with these days?""Can't tell you," 'Superfly' says, "look, I got good memories of you, but you're the prime suspect for operating an ASAT in the area. You're going to have to surrender it.">See, there's a real problem there - the 'ASAT' is a person. Can't surrender her>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]>Hey, 'Superfly', why do you think I have an ASAT?>Don't have one, never heard of one, and why is your asset in my house?>You think your 'asset' might have been compromising things a bit by fucking a fae?>WRITE INFYI, an 'ASAT' is an 'Anti Satellite Weapon'.
>>2869243>>See, there's a real problem there - the 'ASAT' is a person. Can't surrender her>>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]
>>2869243>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]>See, there's a real problem there - the 'ASAT' is a person. Can't surrender her>If i tell you it was an accident you won't believe me, right?
>>2869243>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]>Hey, 'Superfly', why do you think I have an ASAT?>See, there's a real problem there - the 'ASAT' is a person. Can't surrender herYessssss
>>2869243>>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]>Hey, 'Superfly', why do you think I have an ASAT?>Don't have one, never heard of one, and why is your asset in my house?Guys, don't tell him the ASAT is a person. that just reveals our cards and probably will endanger the girls more. At least lets invite him for a bbq or something.
>>2869243>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]>Don't have one, never heard of one, and why is your asset in my house?
>>2869243>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]>Hey, 'Superfly', why do you think I have an ASAT?>Don't have one, never heard of one, and why is your asset in my house?
>>2869243>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]>I have no equipment or weaponry that could be declared an ASAT.
>>2869243>>2869332I like this wording.
>>2869332>I have no equipment or weaponry that could be declared an ASAT.now this is smarter than "zomg my ASAT has tits", switching if it's not too late
>>2869332actually supporting this wording instead of my prior
>>2869243You mute the phone."ALRIGHT!" you yell back at the living room, "who has Bernie's number? Someone call him out on his lousy cleanup job on those satellites.""How many did he say he'd covered up?" Kelly asks, without taking an eye off Rosemary."Three," you say."I hate dealing with dragons," Kelly says.Although you're pretty sure Bernie only knew about three out of four of those satellites.Which raises the unfortunate question of who knows about the fourth.Unfortunately, 'Superfly' Johnson, your battle buddy from back in the day, seems to have washed up into that side of things.You unmute the phone."Hey, still there, Superfly?" you ask."Yeah," he says, "that was the always the best and worst nickname.""Well, they gave me 'Deuce'," you tell him, "so...""God," the voice says, "I remember you getting absolutely fucked over with that. Fuckin' hilarious, though!" he laughs."Yeah, well," you say, "looks like I'm getting fucked over again here. The hell is an ASAT anyway? I haven't heard about it before.""It's an anti-satellite weapon," Superfly tells you, "two satellites got absolutely BUSTED by some sort of directed energy weapon very close to here."Two?TWO?Ok, there's compartmentalization, and then there's planning for failure.Or deliberately fishing for people who know more than they should."And your plates were caught near the discharge site," Superfly continues."Now that you mention it," you say into your phone, as you look at Rick with drillbit eyes, "I did get pulled over a couple days ago, bringing the girls back from softball. Taillight problems or something."Ok, demon or not, Rick'd better have filed all the paperwork for that stop."Hmm," Superfly says, "that is what's on the documents.">I have no equipment or weaponry that could be declared an ASAT - want to search my garage?>Man, we haven't caught up in years - what's been going on with you, dude?>Then we should be cool. Not cool how you sent a plant into my business, though.>One time offer - join me, or don't!>WRITE IN
>>2869402>Man, we haven't caught up in years - what's been going on with you, dude?
>>2869402>I have no equipment or weaponry that could be declared an ASAT - want to search my garage?>>And stay for a barbecue? next time, on fuck me, my daughter and a magical Grill quest...
Crashing out.Twitter, for next runtines: https://twitter.com/HaikuDelugeQuestions, Comments, death threats etc.>>2869263>mfw my shitposting had a hand in making a new character.This is sometimes how things happen. Although technically, I had 'a character' planned for the role, but now it's 'Superfly' Johnson. Because why not?
>>2869402>Man, we haven't caught up in years - what's been going on with you, dude? >Wanna come for some bbq? I still make it like in the good old days.
So superfly is a buddy back in the army days?
>>2869446seems like it
Reynolds must think we're some kind of magical, demonic Al capone. Like it was all weird shit before but we're old buddies with his handler? Talk about astronomical odds
>>2869402>Superfly, Do you know about the rats? (Back when we were serving he used to show everyone pictures of his daughters as he declared they were the cutest in the world.)
Who is Melon's godfather anyway? I feel like Superfly was in the running but he had to go black ops for a bit and was unable to contact us>>2869696Maybe even add in a creepy checklist of signs your daughters might be magical girls? Like that psa anon posted a few threads back?Now that I think of it, Melon doesn't have any non magical friends at all? All of her free time gets used up by this crap?
>>2869402>I have no equipment or weaponry that could be declared an ASAT - want to search my garage?>Man, we haven't caught up in years - what's been going on with you, dude?and this >>2869696
>>2869696Do we really need every fucking character be balls deep in bullshit? It's getting worse than a soap opera
>>2869774>Something something stakes always have to get higher or it's boring>Let's solve character bloat by adding more charactersIt's pretty par for the course at this point
>>2869505Reynolds also saw us go what he thinks of as Toe-to-Toe with a fucking god that is atleast over 2000 years old and we are the right-hand-accountant of a firm run by a dragon. He also wrote a letter on our behalf telling Zeus we would fucking CASTRATE HIM. Now he has seen our entourage, saw one turn into a literal goddess in front of his eyes, and noticed that all we had to do to wake up everyone from goddess backlash was touch them. Also Kelly's corpse is still on the ground but he is back now, and that this magical ressurrecting gunman takes orders from US. And as a side note we are old pals with his handler. I am not sure if he has realized that at least 2/3rds of our crew could wipe out the city on their own in under an hour and the rest could do it if motivated to, it would just take a little longer.Like I said in a previous thread the guy probably looks at us like "Yeah, you are just a normal human dad, doing normal human things, 'oh hey friend, do you want to barbecue the animal flesh on the roasting coals as we humans often do?' like I believe that for a second." The guy probably thinks we are something far worse than everyone who is sworn to us, because in the supernatural community no one swears allegiance to anyone that can't kick their ass or eat them alive. So he is probably thinking that we are either some kind of native god to the USA or some horrible creature/ancient wizard that has been off everyones radar for way too long.Just wait until he finds out that one of our first dates with wifey involved us killing a nearly indestructible Wendigo with a camping hatchet while being so high/drunk we barely even remember it.
>>2869402>>2869407Support. Would say have a wizard get to a safe distance and prep a hell portal for an Ellie and Haru Airdrop on our location. Buuuut, if the girls can't handle it, and wife can't handle it, and wizards can't, not sure what Ellie and Haru are going to do besides bring a few thousand demo... Lets table this option under "Maybe" or "Negotiating Tokens" "Haha we will confiscate all you magical peoples!""If I don't check in regularly, some wizard, some where is going to summon a Duchess of Hell and her pissed of Kitsune boyfriend, and several hundred thousand demons to my location.""So... about that barbecue?"
>>2869408>>2869809Meant to link to this post instead.Also>"And not the nice demons that make deals, the really killy rapey ones."
>>2869809And now I'm curious how Mary's awakening affected Haru, and especially Ellie, considering she's a demon and they're in hell.
>>2869414Quantum Ogres are an excellent GM tool.
>>2869809People keep forgetting that Sachiro isn't just a Kitsune dude, it that he's rolling deep in Japanese politics.Quite frankly, He's our best defense against the Feds and the goddamn Rev'nooers.Indeed, becoming an accountant is really just the modern equivalent of rum running tax dodging our redneck ancestors were.But yeah, we should maybe call him to help us fix this, and then we can hold that over Bernies head as him not actually being able to do what he says he can. Of course since we're magnanimous, we'll forgive him, because that will drive him even more nuts.To us it'll be because it isn't worth picking a fight over it with Bernie. To an old Dragon with medieval sensibilities, when you forgive someone you place yourself in a position to do so etiquette wise, which is above them.
>>2869402"Man," you say, "we haven't caught up in years - what's been going on with you, dude?"You see nothing from Reynold's face. Seems like the kid is a good actor. You just showed him that his boss is your old war buddy.He should be rattled. More rattled than usual. And, well, he's not.Iris grabs a phone from Kelly's jacket, as if she's done this a few times before. "Hello?" she asks, "Bernie?" and begins with the pleasantries."You know how it goes," 'Superfly' says, "you do good in the Corps, have some fun in Recon, get recruited by an acronym agency, and eventually you wind up behind a desk.""Hell," you tell him, "I became an accountant. That's about as far behind the desk as you can get."That send him off in gales of laughter, and gives you a second to mute the phone.Seems like you'll need it."Your umbrella isn't big enough!" Iris yells at the dragon, "we have the alphabet on our backs - because the all-powerful dragon couldn't manage hiding something?"She pauses, as Kelly's phone spews a gust of conversation you can't hear.You gesture for people to keep it down, and unmute the phone as Superfly's laughter dies away."You?" he asks, "an accountant? Incredible. Can't really picture you doing that good old white-collar nonsense. Thought you'd end up fightin' land wars in Asia or something.""Yeah," you say, "sometimes I think about taking Kyoto or Edo, but that's more about economic dominance. You want to come over for a barbeque, like old times? Maybe excuse it as searching my garage for ASATs? ""That would be a good excuse," he says, "except we both know you have a hostage."'A' hostage? Wait, is Reynold's relationship just something he really did outside office hours?>Superfly, do you know about the rats?>Superfly, walk away, and I'll let them walk away too>Superfly, you realize Reynold has been boning a Leanan sídhe, right? And she's not one of mine, or yours>Superfly, I promise it's just going to be a barbecue. Maybe a couple fights, but if you're in, you should know that already>Superfly, you have nothing on me [CUT THE CALL]>WRITE IN
>>2870161>>Superfly, walk away, and I'll let them walk away too
>>2870161>Superfly, walk away, and I'll let them walk away tooWe don't have any idea who he is talking about.
>>2870161>Superfly, I promise it's just going to be a barbecue. Maybe a couple fights, but if you're in, you should know that already.> Come on over and pick your damn kid up, I don't trust him to get home alone without getting in trouble.The when Superfly comes over we pop the frills, horns, and tails and see how he reacts.
>>2870197Probably the dude with the wire on him, aka Reynolds.And right now I really want him to be responsible for Reynolds safety.Hey, this is also a good time to get the Sidhe to swear to us so that she can honestly say she's just one of our people when SF comes over, allowing her and Reynolds to hide/justify their relationship. Ain't we nice.Besides, any good group needs a StarScream.
>>2870161>Superfly, he's not a hostage. Both him and I are victims of circumstance here. You really think I'm gonna do anything to him?>Come here and let's clear this shit up, without any fucking kill teams around every corner
>>2870161Hostage? I hope you don't mean Reynolds. I invited him to a barbecue. Don't you dare insult my grilling prowess again or I'll tell your wife about that time in Bangladesh where we woke up naked and tied to trees.
I'm honestly a little worried that Freebles is the hostage.
>>2870161>>Superfly, you realize Reynold has been boning a Leanan sídhe, right? And she's not one of mine, or yours>>Superfly, I promise it's just going to be a barbecue. Maybe a couple fights, but if you're in, you should know that already
>>2869774The veil of secrecy concerning the supernatural seems paper thin. I'm pretty sure almost everyone has run into something or knows somebody at this point but never realized it wasn't their imagination or crazy talk. Everyone (except Fred) is wrapped up in some crazy shit but they don't know it yet.Plus I was trying to appeal to his inner dad like TRUE MEN. The the true understanding and bonds of fatherhood has gotten us allies so far.Then he's at least understand that he just got ordered to do a high level intelligence mission on a bunch of parents getting together instead of some world ending death cult.>>2871752Even if the whole Sidhe stickler for words/insults thing is no longer going on it's probably bit rude to nonchalantly say that right now in front of his face. Plus saying that secret to an alphabet agency might actually seriously fuck her over. Seriously rude by even human standards.
>>2871752No, we do not break a promise made in good faith with the Sidhe. Even when said Sidhe breaks faith. There are layers of the dudes and they all have a hard on for rules and doing that gains us nothing.>>2870212this might count has blowing her cover so again as above.>>2870202This seems like a good routeA) he comes we get bro times,B) he refuses and we have a barbecue and literaly worst spy can just leave.C) Hostage means someone else and we deal with that later.and D) we eat grilled meats and call invite our sister up.
>>2870161>Superfly, I promise it's just going to be a barbecue. Maybe a couple fights, but if you're in, you should know that already>You can pick up the kid at the barbeque. There's also food We're having Ribs and T-bone!
>>2871879I never said anything about bringing up the Sidhe to SF. This would be a deal between us giving her protection from Reynolds boss or being used as leverage over Reynolds.Because then, when we make a deal, she is included in it.Also if Reynolds was bugged, everything said was recorded. So they'll know really quick anyways. If they don't already.Reynolds might even have been used to honeypot her.
>>2870161>Superfly, Reynold, or whatever the fuck his real name is, is a good kid, but plural? Do you really think that low of me? And I don't even consider "Reynold" as a hostage! Just walk away, my dude. There are things in our world that not even area fifty-fucking-one have the answer to! On that latter note, would you believe me if I told you that my "ASAT" is a person?
>>2872486Disregard this, the glow-in-the-darks propably already know EVERYTHING, as per>>2872471
>>2870161>Superfly, I promise it's just going to be a barbecue. Maybe a couple fights, but if you're in, you should know that already.Also you know your boss are deamons you know
>>2870161>>2870202Supporting this, specifically > Come on over and pick your damn kid up, I don't trust him to get home alone without getting in trouble.
>>2870161"Superfly," you say, "I promise it's just a barbeque, like old times. Maybe a couple of fights.""Also like old times," Superfly says, "man, I know how it is with this crowd. There are always going to be fights. But I do have a problem because you got yourself a hostage. An' he's one of my guys.""They're not hostages," you say, "they're my guests.""I'm feeling really hostage-y over here!" Reynold says, with Shelby still holding that sword to his throat."Things escalated a bit when we found the wire," you say, "but he and his girlfriend are good folks - helped pick the rest of my family off the ground. Even if 'Reynold' is the worst spy in the world. You really think I would do anything to them?"You let the question hang in the air for a second. Then the doorbell rings."No," Superfly tells you, "but it has been a long time, Deuce. So what do you want?"Liska gets up to answer the door."I want you to come over to my barbeque," you say, "but just for old times' sake. They can leave under their own power," you continue, looking at Reynold and Rosemary (and their respective captors), "or you can send someone around to pick up your kid before he gets into more trouble. And I'm giving you the option to come on over and clear this shit up, hopefully without killteams around every corner. This is a recon op, isn't it?"If it wasn't, everyone probably would have been dead right after they hit the deck, you think, as you hear voices from the entryway."I'm afraid I'd have to bring some of the rest of the team," Superfly says, "chains of commands and all that - I might have an unorthodoxical unit, but I can't come by myself. I hope you understand."Then D. Onassis walks into your living room, carrying several enormous shopping bags full of bottles, and escorted by Liska.His eyes light on Rob, still bound on the floor, and he says "well, THIS is my kind of party!" then he looks over at Shelby holding a sword across Reynold's throat, and Kelly pinning Rosemary to the ground, and says, "oh, DEFINITELY my kind of party!"[SET 1 (To Superfly):]>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane>Let's have a nice spot of hot grills and chill brews some other time.>I'm sending Reynold and Rosemary home>Come by yourself, or don't come at all>WRITE IN[SET 2 (To Dionysus):]>Read the mood, dipshit>We've got some questions about divinity>I don't recall inviting you. I'm afraid I'll need you to leave>Here to patronize me some more?>WRITE IN
>>2872866>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane>Here to patronize me some more?
>>2872866>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane>And could you bring some of those sides you make as well?>And tell the guys you're bringing to make something as well, alright?>Here to patronize me some more?>So what'd did you bring that'd be good to toast a newly minted divine being.
>>2872866>>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers and can keep their mouths shut. This is about to get insane>WRITE INSo you DID come. I have some questions that you mind find VERY interesting.
>>2872866>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane>We've got some questions about divinity
>>2872866>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane >Oh hello, poor timing but i'm glad you showed up.>We've got some questions about divinity
>>2872902+1>And could you bring some of those sides you make as well?YES, THE MAN ALWAYS MADE GOD TIER SIDES
>>2872866>Let's have a nice spot of hot grills and chill brews some other time.Dionysus wana do shots i need a drink
>>2872866>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane.We don't have a "shoot first" policy, but we do have a "shoot last" policy.>We've got some questions about divinityWe'll do a shot every question we ask. Can we figure this out without getting too drunk?
>>2873403>>2872866Whoops! I mean we'll do a shot for every question he answers truthfully and completely.
>>2872866>>2873406Every question we ask him about Mary's ascension, that he answers truthfully and completely.
>>2872866"Fine, bring your fuckers," you say into the phone, "if they're not on hair triggers, and a side or several - you were always good at those. Maybe some more meat, too. This is about to get insane.""Insane?" Superfly asks."Here to patronize me some more?" you ask D. Onassis, "or are you bringing anything worth toasting a new goddess with?""So that's what that was," the Greek says, "I just heard there was a party, and you know it's a real party when I'm in the house!"Then the doorbell goes off again."1890 Glenfiddich," Dionysus says, "XO 1900 Napoleon, and some other stuff. And for the punch: Straight. Grain. Alcohol. Also, I'm chunking pineapples into it. We are going to PARTAY TONIGHT!" he yells, and you see Liska's tails twitch. And some of the magical girls look at him like he's a god.Well, he is.Oh Christ."I think I get it," Superfly says from your phone, "short notice - gonna need your kitchen to cook it up. Deuce, you ready for this?""Hell no," you tell him, as you see Liska dart back toward the front door, "but we're doing it anyway. You might have to fight a few people for the kitchen.""Yeah," he says, "I figured. That's why I'm bringing my squad." Then he cuts the call."Let 'em go," you tell the Edwards', and Reynold breathes a sigh of relief as Shelby vanishes the blade against his throat and steps back.Kelly's a bit slower getting off of Rosemary."You ok?" Reynold asks, helping his girlfriend off the floor as you hear more voices from the foyer."No!" she says, grabbing his collar, "when were you planning on telling me you worked for half the alphabet?">Probably when you came clean with him>You need to greet more idiots in the foyer>Shot for shot, Dionysus, one shot, one question [WRITE IN QUESTIONS]>This seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie>WRITE IN
>>2873452>>You need to greet more idiots in the foyer
>>2873452>>This seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie>Shot for shot, Dionysus, one shot, one question [Do you know how we can find a newly ascended goddess?]
>>2873452>Probably when you came clean with him>This seems like an awesome time to summon EllieAs a side note, Ellie who is on a warpath and gaining in power just got a direct injection of literally divine power. So the demon on a rampage to claim Hell is now in no small way inherently godlike. Ellie is now well on her way to being not just Queen, but the legitimate Goddess of Hell
>>2873452>Probably when you came clean with him>This seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie>>2873482let's hope that ripple didn't hit her at a bad timing
>>2873452>You need to greet more idiots in the foyer>This seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie>Shot for shot, Dionysus, one shot, one question [Just ask questions as appropriate for finding out about Mary.]
>>2873452>You need to greet more idiots in the foyer
>>2873500>>2873452I support everything except summoning Ellie.We should prepare it, but that should be a surprise if we use it.
>>2873555I can agree with this
>>2873452>Probably when you came clean with him>This seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie
>>2873555Agreed. That should be something we should tell Superfly and Co. about once we figure out if they’re aware of magic or not.
>>2873452"W!" you yell at the wizard, and his head snaps toward you, away from his conversation with Rick, "this seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie!""Some men want to watch the world burn," the wizard says, walking toward you and pulling out papers from his jacket, "Kelly, you ready?""Readier than I was the first time," Kelly says, stepping toward him, and pulling down his sleeve, "you want this, right?" he asks, glancing at his hand."You know it," W tells him, then cuts his thumb, takes a piece of paper in his hand, bleeding onto it, and slams it against Kelly's hand in an odd parody of a high five.The back of Kelly's hand glows, and things HAPPEN.Most of what happens is Ellie and a giant black fox (you assume it's Haru) collapsed on your living room floor, covered more in blood than in clothes. You always had a knack for interrupting her at the worst times."Holy shit, IT WORKED!" W whoops, then high-fives Kelly with his other hand too, "I did it!" he yells, like a kid who just pegged his teacher with a slingshot and got away with it, "we did it! It worked!""And NOW it's REALLY my kind of party," D. Onassis says, grinning like the Cheshire cat."JESUS CHRIST WHY AM I STILL TIED UP?" Rob yells, as you lean down to touch the side of Ellie's neck, then Haru's. You have to shove your hand through a mound of fur to touch his neck. They're covered in rapidly-closing wounds, marks of vicious slashes, "someone get this shit off me!" Rob finishes, as their eyes open.Then Kelly starts screaming, as the back of his hand becomes incandescent, and he starts flailing it around as Butler appears, rather the worse for wear."I trust there's an explanation for her grace's sudden collapse," he says, in all-too-trim tones, "but I must thank you for pulling her out of that fight," he continues, bowing slightly toward W, "wizard."Ok, you interrupted a fight. That's better than some other possibilities, considering Haru's still a giant fox."I aim to please," W says, picking up his wineglass and swilling it, "there were some complications on our end," he tells the demon, and takes a drink.Butler raises an eyebrow."You alright?" you ask your sister, as Haru stands over her, radiating 'fight or die' hard enough you could probably lean on it in the air."Where's Belphegor?" she asks groggily, while Haru growls, "what the fucking hell happened?""You caught a nasty pulse through the yarnball," you say, "then we summoned you, because I've got a gift for you.""Cool," she sighs, flopping onto her back, "it'd better be a place to rest. Hey," she says, looking up at Haru, and stroking the fur on the front of his chest with one hand, "keep me safe," and then she passes back out.>Idiots at the door>Questions shot race with D. Onassis>Butler, what the hell happened?>Haru, you alright?>WRITE IN
>>2873452>Probably when you came clean with him>You need to greet more idiots in the foyer
>>2873607>>Idiots at the door>>Questions shot race with D. Onassis
>>2873607>>Questions shot race with D. Onassis>>Butler, what the hell happened?
>>2873607>Slip the tickets in a strap or something so she has them.>Idiots at the door>Questions shot race with D. Onassisin that order.
>>2873607>Idiots at the door>Questions shot race with D. Onassis>Haru, you alright?
>>2873628Although i like the idea of treating her as a hooker, we can wait for her to wake up.
>>2873607>>Slip the tickets in a strap or something so she has them.>>Idiots at the door>>Questions shot race with D. Onassis
>>2873607>Haru, you alright?>>You can borrow the shower if you need>>>And clothes, probably>Idiots at the door>Questions shot race with D. Onassis we have to tell her it's a trap before giving her the tickets, don't be stupid
>>2873640More like a stripper, but I digress.>>2873647That is a good point.
>>2873607>Haru, you alright?>Butler, what the hell happened?>Idiots at the door
>>2873607> Shots with Dio
>>2873607"Haru," you ask the huge fox, "you ok?"He growls, then bends down to brush his head against Ellie's cheek."If you two need a shower," you say, "or a change of clothes, help yourselves. Guest bedroom's open, too."Haru nods at you, then resumes his guarding stance over Ellie."I'm definitely looking forward to that cruise," D. Onassis says from behind you, "guessing that's your sister. Holy shit, we barely started this party, and there's a duchess of Hell passed out on the floor already?""Welcome to my life," you say, turning to face him, "and don't try recruiting maenads here.""Wouldn't dream of it," Dionysus says, "although they would be," and his eyes rake the room, "pre~tty spectacular.""Yeah," you say, grabbing his collar, "and you'd be pretty dead. Let's play a game - questions shot race?""Oh," he says, smiling, "that's my kind of game. Any fun house rules I should know about?""We take turns asking questions," you tell him, "ask a question - take a shot. Answer a question - take a shot first. Lie or fob off a question - take five shots.""Hmm," he says, "as the challenged, I get to name my weapon, right?"Oh hell.He grins at you."Anything eighty proof," he finally says, "it'd be over too fast if we did one-ninety.""I want in," Bernie says. So that's who was at the door. You notice Heinrich, Angus, and the mad priest distribute themselves through the party, although they give Haru a very wide berth."Welcome," you tell him, "but-""I invited myself after the display earlier," the dragon says, "I felt THAT across town.""Fuck it," Harriet says, appearing at your elbow, "I can drink all of you under the table."You hadn't planned on this being a four-way game, but that seems to be how things worked out.Soon enough, you're seated around a card table with a dragon, a god, and an alcoholic time traveler, with a handle of cheap vodka as the centerpiece.You might have bitten off just a little more than you can comfortably chew."Well, dealer," Dionysus says to you, as he pours shots, "start us off.">Ask Dionysus about finding gods on other planes>Ask Bernie why the hell your office got a government plant>Ask Harriet if she's comfortable revealing her uncomfortable secret>Ask Dionysus what becoming a god does to people>WRITE IN
>>2873725>>Ask Dionysus what becoming a god does to people
>>2873725>Ask Dionysus about finding gods on other planes
>>2873725>>Ask Dionysus about finding gods on other planes
>>2873725This is going to get hairy pretty fast."Alright," you say, and take your shot, "Mr. Onassis, how does one go about finding a god on another plane? Or in a pocket dimension?"He knocks one back too, then refills both your glasses before answering, "same way you find a god on this plane. You bumble around until you have a religious experience. Ok, ok," he says, looking over at Harriet, who suddenly has a very dead look in her eyes, "I'm not a wizard. Most pantheons have a collective 'pocket dimension', I guess is what you'd call it, maybe more than one, if they have an afterlife. Or several. Olympus, Valhalla, the Elysian Fields, Hades, Hell (all the hells), Heaven, that sort of place. Just bit south of Yesod, just a bit north of Malkuth," he says, then yells, "you writing this down, wizards?" then asks, "so, I guess someone ascended?""You asked a question," Bernie says, "take your shot. Two questions, two shots, and a penalty for trying to pull more fools into this game. Five shots.""I guess I did," Dionysus says, drinking vodka like water, "ok, so, I'll do it officially: someone ascended?" he asks you, and you slam another shot."Mary," you say, and Bernie gasps, "magical girl. I'll assume you know what those are. She said she went over an edge, hit apotheosis, and she vanished. Then everyone magically connected to her 'bit the floor', as an observer put it."You look around for Rosemary, and see her lying in the hall, under the worst spy in the world, who's doing his best impression of the worst Sean Connery routines."Well," Dionysus says, "I don't have much experience with that sort of thing. Sounds more like that Chinese-style 'Qi cultivation' stuff to me. But if she vanished - she either made her own pantheon, or got dragged into someone else's. It's not ours - I really would have felt that. You should have been there when we pulled Heracles in.""You gave an answer," Bernie drawls, "take a shot.""Fuck you, lizard," Dionysus says, then swigs from the handle."I'm up next," Bernie says, and takes a shot, "so, D. Onassis," he asks, giving a grin that shows too many sharp teeth, "who IS your mother?"Dionysus glares at him, then wordlessly takes five shots."I've got one for you, then," he says, and takes another shot, his eyes still locked with Bernie's, "are you Jörmungandr?"Bernie takes a shot, then says, "I can show you where Thor hooked me.""I thought I was going to get drunk," Harriet says, breaking their tension, "so I'll ask two questions," and she slams two shots, from the fast-dwindling handle, "what's a girl got to do to get a drink in this place? And are you two going to take it outside or to a bedroom already?"Dionysus start laughing."Fuck," he says, and takes a shot, gesturing at you, "I told this guy I wouldn't recruit maenads at his party. You're really making me regret saying that. You'd make an awesome maenad. And I wouldn't mind taking him to bed," he continues, looking critically at Bernie.
>>2873875oh wow, didn't expect Bernie to be THAT dragon/serpent
>>2873875"I'm in a relationship," Bernie tells him, "but I wouldn't mind taking you outside. I know this quarry where nobody would bother us.""Until you guys ended up taking down satellites," you say, "or carpeting the place in vines. Can we please hold off on the dick-waving?"Then the doorbell rings again.That's... how many times has 'Superfly' managed to bail you out now?Because you'd bet it's him."I've got to get this one," you say, standing up, "I'm pulling out of the game.""But you just asked a question," Dionysus says, holding a shot glass up to you, "so take a shot. It just started getting fun, too."You slam the damn thing and put the glass back on the table."I know I can't enforce this," you say, looking at the people seated around the table, "but can you fuckers please, please not have a fight here?""Sure," Bernie says, "but I'm making no promises about the laser-and-table routine, or the shark tank, and there's still the quarry.""Next round," he says, looking at the others seated around the table, "I'm starting."At least the dragon seems to become a mellow drunk, based on your experience. And he's probably getting back at Dionysus for the shots in the office, you think as you head for your front door.You almost crash into Liska on your way there."Ready to play hostess?" you ask her."Of course," she says, before she pecks you on the cheek and throws the door wide open.Well, if Superfly was recruiting 'teenagers with attitude', he certainly hit the mark."Good to see you again," you tell him."Good to see you, too, Deuce!" he says, giving you the secretest handshake. What is it with magic and adolescents? you wonder, looking past your former battle buddy at his crew.The albino guy looks positively insane, and the gun does not help with the impression. The two girls look pretty normal, but you catch the same feeling from them some of the crazier magical girls give off. The other guys, well, it's hard to get a read on them.You're guessing they're all science projects, Naturals, wizards, mythological monsters, or magical girls.Well, you've got a few of those yourself.They look a little less threatening loaded down with shopping bags.And holy shit, the Black Helicopters are real too? you think as one takes off silently from the road in front of your house.>This your family, Superfly?>Where's your rat?>You always did know how to arrive in style>No hair triggers, please>WRITE IN
>>2873929>>You always did know how to arrive in style
>>2873929>You always did know how to arrive in style>So that's your "unorthodox unit"?
>>2873929>You always did know how to arrive in style>Please tell me you made your family's famous side dishes.
>>2873929"You always did know how to arrive in style," you tell him, with a nod at the helicopter."And you always knew how to pick 'em," Superfly says, looking appreciatively at Liska, "damn! I was surprised to hear you were married, but I think I get it now.""Liska," you say, "meet 'Superfly' Johnson, a man who should be dead twenty times over, and some of those times, he was saving my ass. Superfly, meet my wife.""Definitely a pleasure," Superfly says."I feel like I know you already," Liska says, "from his stories," and she puts her arm over your shoulders."Speaking of stories," he says, grinning, "Deuce ever tell you how he got his nickname?""That's one for over drinks," you say, and Superfly laughs. You cock an eyebrow at the teenagers on your doorstep, "so that's your 'Unorthodoxical Unit'?""Some of it," he says, then shrugs, "not what you were expecting, huh? Not what I expected either, but they're good kids. You're a good kid, aint'cha, Ace?" he finishes, clapping a hand down on the albino's shoulder."Sometimes I try," the kid says, "so I guess we don't get to clear the house?""This is a friendly visit, man," Superfly tells him, "why do you think you're carrying those collard greens? You don't clear a house with collard greens!"'Ace' sighs.Your eyes meet with Superfly's for an instant, in a bond of sympathy. Well, at least he can understand some of your struggles.One more struggle you get to share with him."We've got enough food to feed an army here," Superfly says, gesturing at the shopping bags and their bearers, "you got an army for us to feed? By the way, how is Reynold doing?""Last I saw," you say, "he was making some convincing nonverbal arguments to his girlfriend.""I'm still not sure why she hasn't decked him," Superfly says, "that guy's lucky as hell, but he's an idiot.""You really don't understand women, do you?" Liska asks."I know just enough to be dangerous," Superfly says, shrugging."That's what you said about C4," you tell him, "and holy shit, I'm surprised we're both still alive!"Superfly and Liska both start laughing with you, as the 'Unorthodoxical Unit' looks on, with a range of looks on their faces. Smirks, bemusement, disinterest, that odd expression when you don't know whether to laugh at a joke or not - it's all there.>I'm afraid we're way over our quota for white-haired teenagers right now>I'd like to establish some ground rules - don't get hair trigger in there [WRITE IN OTHER GROUND RULES]>Well, come on in, and I'll see about getting you some kitchen space>Just as a caution - there's some crazy stuff happening here tonight>WRITE IN
>>2873979>Well, come on in, and I'll see about getting you some kitchen space>Just as a caution - there's some crazy stuff happening here tonight>And sadly, we don't have that brand of Root Beer you love so much.
>>2873979>>I'd like to establish some ground rules - don't get hair trigger in there [WRITE IN OTHER GROUND RULES]>>Well, come on in, and I'll see about getting you some kitchen space>>Just as a caution - there's some crazy stuff happening here tonight
>>2873979>I'd like to establish some ground rules - don't get hair trigger in there [WRITE IN OTHER GROUND RULES]no dick waving fights either>Well, come on in, and I'll see about getting you some kitchen space>Just as a caution - there's some crazy stuff happening here tonight
Hitting the sack.Next runtime on twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDelugeI feel like I'm getting back into the swing of things, finally. Fucking cleared a few things that proved hard to write out.Also, thank you, shitposting anon, who gave me the idea for 'Superfly' Johnson. I'm turning out to really like this character. I bet he'd get on hilariously with Fred.Holy shit, this party has the most volatile mix of people the MC has ever brought together.On a related note, I have one particular favorite moment in this thread so far.
>>2873989well do tell, what is said "favourite moment"
>>2873989No Haiku, thank you for sticking with us through thick and thin.
>>2873989thanks for running
YFW you slept through the whole thing>>2873929Feel free to take whatever rules I thought up. I think i just made the prototype to How to survive magical bullshit for dummies.>No damn hair triggers in my house. Normal people know not to try and kill everyone they meet as the first option or a greeting>Don't you dare go near my daughter's bedroom. She's got a bit of a fever right now as one way of putting it. That's the one thing that will get everyone killed.>My sister's apparently alive now and visiting. Do not under any circumstances try taunting her right now because I don't want my damn block to explode. She needs a few hours to calm down You might remember the crap I said in Columbia while drunk off my ass better than I do.>Jörmungandr, Dionysus and one of the girls are having a drinking contest right now. (Get back to it?)>If you have one of those fucking rats I want to see it and I want the wizards to have it fucking caged for the entirety of this visit. (This is why we needed those fucking astral projection lessons The thing could be shitting himself at what we're doing and running back home if W didn't presumably already have wards to keep Ellie locked in the area during her visit.) If you happen to not like your rat, we have a great deal of people willing to get rid of it for you maybe renegotiate some terms with it. It's bosses don't actually care about mortality rates. That and my daughter are the only two rules that breaking will immediately get everyone killed. This one in particular might get this entire fucking city and more killed>No goddamn dick waving fights either. That's how half of our problems end up snowballing. You probably came expecting suburban M bison forming Shadaloo and ended up dealing with what's basically an overblown PTA meeting.>If neighbors ask, you're yet another rival softball team, The Supafly Sentai softball team for At-Risk Youth. I should really get some actual softball equipment for everyone. If you wanted to make another visit you have a cover story that meshes with what the neighbors already know.>I am HAPPILY MARRIED. I am disappointed that I have to even say this as a warning, but I am NOT in the market for any male or female concubines. I already have one teenager here with weird fantasies about shotguns. I. Do. Not. Need. More.>Do not touch the sword without permission. He's a family heirloom.>No mentioning that the fey is a fey in front of her boyfriend. She's very testy about that and I'm trying to be a decent host. No I am not saying which one. (Unsure on this one since it's not rocket science to figure out who.)>No summoning demons in my goddamn house. Most of the high ranking ones are dead anyway.>Call Sachio:My sister has arrived now and might take a bit to recuperate. Dionysus, my war buddy and his kids, my boss from work Bernie, arrived at the party and a bunch of other crap. If you and Hamasaki want to come you're more than welcome.
>>2874026I'd also like to point out that schmoozing with these sorts of people is basically John's job since he covers for Sachio so it's actually job related for either of them to show up now.
>>2874026I just imagine us exasperatedly pulling out a piece of paper from our pocket and reading through all of these points as best he can in one breath.
>>2874045Maybe a little booklet of notes for said book that we've been jotting down since Reynolds (If that is his real name) lacked caution.We turned to the section on what not to do in our house?
I have the weird feeling that ace and sue will end up being together.
To the anon who was asking about how I pick pictures earlier, these idiots are 'Superfly's' crew because I had the pic in >>2873929 lying around, and I love the stupid 80s action movie feel of it.And to whatever anons said Reynold was way too interested in the supernatural back during his initial appearance, well, now there's a reason.>>2873993>favourite moment"Keep me safe", and the gesture. I wish I'd executed it better, but I like the whole scene: it twisted the usual "Ellie is always in the middle of killing or fucking someone when she gets summoned" to an accidental hot extraction (somewhat necessitated by the unexpected punch through the yarnball). Haru's undergoing some combination of Hell Exposure, rut, probably eating some demons, and being the only 'radiator' on the same plane as Ellie to the point where he's not even bothering to verbalize or hit human form, and he's guarding her, and she's letting him, in a less funny parallel of Bernie's 'stop them if they St. George me' line to Heinrich earlier.Also, it amuses me that Rob has spent about four scenes hogtied on the living room floor, and he only started complaining once he was sure he was back in control.>>2874026There are some great ideas in here, I'll see about working in what I think will work/fit. Unfortunately, it's not going to be everything. I think some of them are more appropriate topics for later in the evening, not on the doorstep.
>>2874026I support these, except for mentioning that Rose is Fae at all, unless it's quietly to Dutch alone.
>>2874030>>2874491Thirding summoning John to represent Sachio. Should be interesting to see SF reaction and how much they know about the current state of Japans Yokai.
>>2874344We are shipping her with Rob! Don't you start a snowballing love tetrahedron as they vie for her unrequited attention with your crazytalk!We should probably ask James if he's in trouble with any of the alphabets because we just invited some into the house..
>>2874491>"The Supafly Sentai softball team for At-Risk Youth" is the whole name. You can't shorten it.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmeprzFOA64I didn't think of it before, but we have a real archduke Ferdinand situation here. Kill us and they piss off a Dutchess and future queen of Hell,piss off the foxes in china which sets off the Japanese government while also setting off one of the more recently buffed land gods,pisses off one of the best assassins in the world whom now has reaper powers,enrages the local land god,and personally makes one of the most powerful financial powerhouses in the world out for your blood. Any of those getting ticked off could start WWIII.
>>2874554Why the hell did I say China? I was probably thinking of an angry japan fighting the US causing China to see a free for all they can get in.
>>2874510>>2874491Seconding Ace and Sue.Rob x James is OTP.
>>2873979>I'd like to establish some ground rules - don't get hair trigger in there [WRITE IN OTHER GROUND RULES]>There's also one more rule. DO NOT EXPOSE THE MASQUERADE TO MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR FRED. Any of you attempt to do so will be shot, killed, have their soul sold to my sister, and be written off for dead. If Fred ever shows his face over the fence, one of you will have to run interference and go with the household approved alibi until he leaves. You will know him when you see him.
>>2874630>>2874491We have a laundry list of rules. We really are a Dad.But I think that the Black Ops team will probably. . . .you know what it's always best to be clear about things.Should we warn the kids about Dio and his penchant for Maenads?
>>2874649Nah. Don't cross that bridge until superfly tells us about all of that from his side.
>>2873979>>I'd like to establish some ground rules - don't get hair trigger in there [WRITE IN OTHER GROUND RULES]>more explicitly, no starting fights>>Well, come on in, and I'll see about getting you some kitchen space>>Just as a caution - there's some crazy stuff happening here tonight
>>2874649It's not that we have a lot of rules. It's that we can't trust people not do do stupid things. Especially with magical crap that likes to rules lawyer everything. Entire plots of epics, myths, legends hinge upon some asshole abusing a "loophole" that shouldn't have had to be said in the first place.Much of it is also extremely relevant towards avoiding a bad end because they tried to pick a fight/argument with a dragon, god, daimyo, or other at a really bad time so it's for their own safety as well.
>>2873979"I'm still not sure how I'm not dead," Superfly says, "maybe I inherited demolition magic or something?""Maybe we just got stupid lucky," you say, "hell, it's not like we had another option."You pause for second, trying to let the sand and the desert heat dissipate. The hot wind blows it off your porch, as if it was never there.Maybe it never was.A few shadows flicker around Superfly and his team. Time phantoms. People that might be here in some alternate universe.Ok, you know why Harriet drinks. That's crazy-looking shit."So I don't know what lecture you gave them," you say, looking at him and his team, "but I've got some house rules: No hair triggers in the house, or on the grounds. Attempted Murder isn't 'hello'. And don't pet the foxes. Don't let them pet you.""Classic example," Liska half-whispers, leaning against you, and you can feel her arm and her fluffy tails circling around your back. "of 'do as I say, not as I do'."Superfly isn't even bothering to hide his grin."There's a room with a door ripped off its hinges," you continue, "that's my daughter's room. She's got a bit of a fever," you say, raking your best dad glare across every male in eyesight, and you see even Superfly stiffen, as most of his group staggers, "and don't go in there. That would touch off world war three.""Let me guess the next one," one of the rather nondescript guys on Superfly's team says, standing tall under a mop of spiky black hair, "no starting shit?""Yeah," you tell him, "no supernatural dickwaving. I've got a dragon and a god shotracing a magical girl in my kitchen. Don't make any contracts or agreements you don't want to keep in the afterlife. Don't touch the sword - it's a family heirloom. If you're invited to an orgy or to Hell, I recommend you decline politely. If they force the issue, yell for help, and, Liska, how dead can we all make someone?""Very," she says, in a breathy voice, "if it's not Ellie, we can send them to Hell, 'do not pass GO', go straight to eternal torment. Shatter their body into its constituent atoms, if we have enough of the girls onboard. We could-""I think," you say, looking back down at Superfly and his crew, "you get the picture, and please don't take that as a challenge."That gets some reactions, although you can't quite tell what they are."Did I mention shit was crazy here tonight?" you ask."I think you said 'insane' when you invited us over," Superfly says, "right, we're not wearin' wires, and I'm jus' here for old time's sake.""I've got a kitchen for you," you tell him, then narrow your eyes, "but if you've got a rat, he NEEDS to be on a leash. I've got wizards that can cage it.""This damn collar counts as a leash, right, boss?" a rodent says, poking its head out of a pocket in Superfly's flak jacket and looking up at him.Good grief.[1/2]
>>2876193OH FUCK, ITS A RAT
>>2876202OH FUCK, IT'S ANOTHER FREEBLES
Does anyone remember which thread it was where someone dumped a bunch of pictures of rodents in suits?
>>2876222I think it was around the third or fourth thread? Damn firefox doesn't automatically go right to archive so I can't just tab over to my clutter and immediately get it for you.
>>2876222Not I, I'm afraid. Too close to 0-dark-thirty for that.
>>2876210OH FUCK YEAH IT'S ANOTHER FREEBLES!
Here's what I found. Sorry it isn't much.
>>2876281Truly the essence of being a rat. Spilt beer, tails everywhere, cigars as large as your snout, and if there aren't a few death threats for cheating at cards, I'd be surprised.
>>2876229This was in the upper half of thread 4, but I didn't see anything else in 3 or 4.
>>2876193>>2876202And this is when feebles either pops up and puts him in a headlock or says "Hey, thats my actual brother. Didnt know he had the same gig"
>>2876222pretty sure it was the thread that we god freebles to be a yakuza
>>2876334I'll laugh if they do the BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIQUUUIIIIIIID! reference from the end of MGS4. And then try to playfight on a table while everyone is trying to decipher whether or not the're being serious.
>>2876193You watch 'Superfly' Johnson mouth "fuck", as Freebles climbs out of your pocket and up your chest."Nice fuckin' necklace you got there," Freebles says, sitting on your shoulder, "I think my ink's better," and you feel him turn around on your shoulder to show it off."Well," the rat says, and you can swear it's grinning, "I've got a collar, and you're branded. Who's more of a slave?""This is a mark of my loyalty to my brother," Freebles says, an edge in his voice, putting a paw against your head, "so, what's that? A fashion trend?"If you can read their tones, you're about thirty seconds from a vicious rat fight. You can see Superfly's team moving subtly into better combat positions."It seals teleportation and astral projection," the other rodent says, "runic crap sewn into it. And I think they can take my head off with it remotely. Only way they'd trust me. Your brother, huh?""Yeah," Freebles says, as some or the entirely non-magic tension bleeds away, "he trusts me. I got this voluntarily. And it doesn't block any of that. So, who's the slave?"...And there's the tension again."Didn't peg you for the pet type," you say to Superfly."I did say this gig wasn't what I expected," he tells you, as his ferret swarms onto his shoulder."You threw in with them?" Freebles asks, and you see a red gleam in his eye out of the corner of yours, "seems like you figured out who the real slavers are.""Our 'bosses'?" the other rodent asks, "what the hell are you doing? Those are contractual markings! What the hell did you do?""What I think is right," Freebles tells him, and you can hear the ferret's grin, "there's better trust than blackmail. You ever made a contract with a man?""That doesn't work!" the other rodent says, "and you know it!""But I did," Freebles says, "not our sort of contract. A different kind.">Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway>Superfly, is he really locked down? Because then I'm ok with him coming in with you>Ferrets, I need first and second opinions on how fast your bosses (the other guys) are going to respond>Well, if that's over with, I've got a kitchen, you've got loads of groceries, that seems like a match made in heaven>WRITE IN
>>2876405>>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway>Well, if that's over with, I've got a kitchen, you've got loads of groceries, that seems like a match made in heaven
>>2876405>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway.>Ferrets, I need first and second opinions on how fast your bosses (the other guys) are going to respond
>>2876405>Well, if that's over with, I've got a kitchen, you've got loads of groceries, that seems like a match made in heaven.La LA LA! This is just a normal BBQ! we dont have anti-satalite weapons! just grilled meats and veggies!
>>2876405>>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway>>2876420>we don't have anti-satellite weapons!This is true, because our ASAT turned into a God and vanished. Or wait, was that the laser MG?
>>2876405>>2876414second"Some of my people think one of my neighbors may be an angel but I still dont want to test it with a conversation in the drive"
>>2876405>>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway>Also, what do you know about Yakuza oaths of brotherhood? Because there's a better then slight chance that it might happen with your ferret and you, and shit WILL go crazy. Full stop.
>>2876426Mary was the "overwhelming force / arrows" MG. IIRC it was Rachel or Madison who pulled out the rave lights.>>2876412Supportan
>>2876348>pretty sure it was the thread that we god freebles to be a yakuzaI think it was later than that. But I don't want to slam the archives again until I have to.>>2876353>BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIQUUUIIIIIIID! reference from the end of MGS4I think I've pulled that twice now.>>2876426>This is true, because our ASAT turned into a God and vanished. Or wait, was that the laser MG?It was Myrna, one of Madison's crew. She tries to avoid killing satellites, but her fight with Rachel got pretty heated.
>>2876443>I think I've pulled that twice nowYou didn't add in the fighting segment that comes after. Complete with the synchronized punches.
>>2876405>>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway
>>2876405>Ferrets, I need first and second opinions on how fast your bosses (the other guys) are going to respond> Also, Freebles, no "hostile takeover" on this dude.Just let them sweat that one out.
>>2876405>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway>Well, if that's over with, I've got a kitchen, you've got loads of groceries, that seems like a match made in heaven
>>2876443>MyrnaKnew it started with an M! You have way too many characters with M names. Melon, Mary Madison, Myrna, probably a few others.
>>2876451Yeah, well, maybe we'll get there. Eventually.
>>2876405>>Ferrets, I need first and second opinions on how fast your bosses (the other guys) are going to respond
>>2876405Goddamnit . my laptop went freaky so I couldn't post anything>Ferrets, I need first and second opinions on how fast your bosses (the other guys) are going to respond. I don't want them to remote detonate everyone within a dozen miles of here before we finish what we were planning.>I actually had planned to discuss something about that with the group before everything went south on us ahead of time. How would you ladies like to have some contracts rewritten to be without those pesky ticking time bombs in your heads? Assuming that yours hasn't figured out he can do that already. There's no use trying to pretend they're a perfectly normal and totally not plotting against them group of magical girls after that giant god beacon went out.>These two ferrets need to talk with our wizards inside the house instead of out in public. >>2876475They tend to have the same first letter as their "real" name when you look at the character art.
>>2876484Speaking of talking to our Wizards, we should ask if they want to join our Academy for Gifted Youngsters. We can ask Dutch if he wants to be our bald dude in a Wheelchair.
>>2876405>Question we ask while making sure harriet isn't anywhere she can hear the answers>How do your bosses normally respond to Magical girls becoming gods? Mary mentioned killing gods before and I've got a nasty suspicion about that. We need to find her so that she has some protection.
Do entertain me with this but is James Bond an Incubus?
>>2876540Nah, I'll bet he's Merlin.
>>2876542I thought Merlin WAS an incubus, or is that the joke going over my head?
>>2876547If you want to get technical. Merlin would be a Cambion which would make him half demon.Incubuses are just the male versions of Succubus.So no, the joke did not fly over your head. I was just being pedantic because of my King Arthur autism.
>>2876556Merlin was a wizard, what are you on about.
>>2876572Yes, Merlin is a wizard. And to explain a bit further on my earlier post, there are some interpretations of Merlin being a halfbreed of a devil to explain away why he could wield magic.No this is sadly not me pulling this straight out of a anime.
>>2876579I mean wouldn't he be the Antichrist if he was the son of The Devil?Sounds like Christian Revisionism.
>>2876579> in British poetry he was a bard driven mad after witnessing the horrors of war, who fled civilization to become a wild man of the wood in the 6th century.I googled it. No wonder his and Arthur's lives were ruined by sticking the dick in crazy.
>>2876585Actually yes he would be, however there was that part of the tale where the pregnant woman went to the priest to get the kid baptized and thus somehow advert that entirely.
>>2876591>pregnant woman went to the priest to get the kid baptizedOk I really should stop and actually learn to check what the fuck I'm typing before I post.That should have went>the woman went to the priest to get the kid baptized
>>2876591Does his IP belong to Games Workshop or something? That's a bullshit asspull.
>>2876599Up there with Faust. At least the Fiddler dude still went to hell for making a deal with the devil.
>>2876405"A different kind?" the other ferret (you've mentally upgraded him from a rat) says, "alright, fellow heretic, we need to talk.""Preferably not on my driveway," you say, "Frank likes walking his dog at night. Superfly, my house is dark and full of terrors. I really need you all to not go off on hair triggers. And all those other dad rules and cautions.""Did you get his spiel?" Superfly asks, looking back at his motley crew, "did you get mine earlier? DO NOT START A FIGHT! DO NOT FUCK ANYONE! DO NOT MAKE ANY AGREEMENTS! AND DEFINITELY DON'T FORGE CONTRACTS!" he takes a breath, and you forgot just how loud 'Superfly' could be, "KING FUCKIN' ARTHUR SHOWS UP? DON'T FUCK WITH HIM! DON'T TRY RECRUITIN' HIM! DO NOT ASSUME SOMEONE IS BASELINE HUMAN BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE IT! AND JESUS CHRIST, COOK THE COLLARD GREENS AND THE CASSEROLE RIGHT THIS TIME! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?""AS CRYSTAL, SIR!" his group yells back at him."I kind of envy you," you tell Superfly, as you lead him inside, "my alliance is more like a magical PTA meeting.""Yeah," he mutters at you as he steps inside, "you're seeing the good side - my team's like a dysfunctional family most the time. And why does it smell like blood in he-""Holy fucking shit," he says, looking through the kitchen at Haru, a giant demonic fox taking up most of the living room, standing over Ellie's unconscious body and growling at anyone who gets near."That's one reason I said 'no hair triggers'," you tell him, "that's ONE of my brothers in law.""You weren't kidding about that 'deep end' shit," Superfly tells you.Yeah, he's been listening to Reynold's wire."So how about coming into the parlor?" Liska asks, and drags Superfly into a chair by main force before slamming into another one."Seems like you and I and our ferrets need to talk about a few things," you say, as you settle into your own chair in the parlor."HEY SHELBY!" you yell at the kitchen, "THEY'VE GOT INGREDIENTS, WE'VE GOT A KITCHEN - MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN! DON'T BE TOO ROUGH ON THEM!"Liska decides your lap is a better seat than the one she's got, and settles into it in a flash. Good god, her tails are fluffy."He can't be rougher than I would be," Superfly says, "gimme a drink, hey?""I WANT A WIZARD!" you yell, and W shows up with that eternal wineglass, and a bottle of something, then slides into a chair."What part of the alphabet are you with?" W asks, filling a glass for Superfly."The part that doesn't ask stupid questions on a friendly visit," Superfly says, accepting the glass, as you hear some arguments from the kitchen."Wonderful," W says, "so I see a rat on your shoulder. We slamming another cage fight circle?" he asks you."Depends," you tell the table, "I planned to discuss all this with the group, but my hand got forced.">Hey, ferret, what was your deal with Uncle Sam?>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?>Let me explain about my bro's situation>WRITE IN
>>2876605> "So how about coming into the parlor?" Liska asks, and drags Superfly into a chairSaid the spider to the fly
>>2876605>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?This will decide the conversation.
>>2876605>>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?
>>2876605>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?
>>2876605>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?Time for plot!
>>2876605>>Let me explain about my bro's situation
>>2876542>I'll bet he's Merlin.'Backwards-aging Merlin is really James Bond' would be the craziest theory. A better writer than me should tackle that, once Ian Fleming's works go out of copyright. I already made a bunch of Bond movie jokes, so I can't really windmill slam him in here. Or can I?>>2876591Someone could be the son of 'a devil' without being the son of 'The Devil'. The Nephilim are a thing. And a number of scholars say the Revelation of John is really a metaphorically-veiled critique of Rome and/or a prophecy about the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem in 70 AD, so the 'antichrist' is really a particular historical figure.>>2876601>>2876588"DON'T FUCK YOUR SISTER!" is very relevant for certain versions of the Arthurian cycle. Merlin's deal is just straight-up "Christ, Merlin, what were you thinking?">>2876585>Sounds like Christian Revisionism.The monks writing down the tales wanted to fit the old gods, legends, and famous druids into a Christian framework.That's part of what makes that set of myths so fun. The Branches of the Mabinogion in particular are really cool, partially because you can see where gods got stuffed into just being human kings or heroes.
>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?>Let me explain about my bro's situation
>>2876634Well, I guess we're confirmed for not being a descendant of Arthur since we haven't fucked our sister.. . . . . .
>>2876637Eh. If you want to go REALLY technical everyone is our brother sister
>>2876643Better hope we have another daughter with Liska then.
>>2876608>Said the spider to the flySometimes, I fear people don't get my references. Sometimes, they get them.
>>2876649You got a dude digging deep into Merlin lore, and I personally have a classical education.Also a history of weeb starting in the mid 90s. I admit to not knowing where the Teenagers with Attitude are from this post >>2873929 though.
>>2876654>Teenagers with AttitudeIt's a Power Rangers reference.
>>2876658No, no, I got THAT reference. Once again, 90s.I meant the picture.
>>2876658Mother fuck, is Superfly the mentor character to a fucking Super Sentai/Power Rangers team?
>>2876664Oh that!Yeah I'm in the dark as you on that front.Sorry m8.
>>2876664Trust me, I got it.This is where I also get all my fluffy raptor pics.
>>2876665The rat is kind of a giveaway.
>>2876666It's cool. Have some fluffy dinosaurs.
>>2876634The tale of Haiku and Floor continues. Next episode, The Melancholy of Bed-chan Suzumiya!
>>2876667>>2876672MGDMT is a great comic
>>2876687Ya gotta wonder about Computer-Chan and Booze-Chan sometimes.
>>2876605"Audits," you say, looking at the other ferret, "how do those work for you?""I put up good enough numbers that I never get audited," he says, then looks at you with beady eyes, "Uncle Sam's got me covered."Then some pieces fall into place. Magical girls killing demons. A government employing demons. Rats with a quota. Government rats...Holy shit."I've heard of people being sacrificed to demons," Freebles says from your shoulder, "but that sounds like demons being sacrificed to us," then he whispers in your ear, "bro, I want to fight this guy. Just a fight - I won't eat him.""The right hand doesn't have a clue what the left hand is doing," the other ferret says, "we do," he continues, and strokes his collar with a paw, "what we have to.""So do we," you say, "and I just watched a magical girl become a goddess. Ok," you say, leaning back in your chair, "how fast are we going to get audited? Freebles? And, I'm afraid I didn't catch your name?" you ask the other rodent.Well, if there's one thing demons and Conan The Barbarian covers got right, it's that having a sexy woman nestling into you on your throne gives you a certain amount of gravitas. Even if your 'throne' is just a chair in your parlor.You see the unnamed ferret's beady eyes narrow, over his magical collar."I think it's been..." Freebles says, "I just woke up. No idea. But I think they'd probably jump us as fast as they could. Hey, mister I-never-caught-your-name-and-I don't-care, what is your name, anyway? Or did they take that when they collared you?">WRITE IN A NAME FOR THE FERRET THAT SUPERFLY SEEMS TO BE RUNNING
>>2876690Booze-kun, actually. Booze is just a trap.
>>2876697Actually max, a la Sam and Max
>>2876697> Actual Max
Pumped out one last update. I'm done for the night.Twitter, for next update times: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge>>2876687>>2876690No, bed-chan wins tonight!Booze-chan is sort of that supportive friend type, the one that wants me to end up with bed-chan or floor-chan, because they're her friends, but knows that she's bad for me on her own. She wants (and often gets) the threesome.I think she knows that her route is a BAD END for me. Too bad I don't see it the same way.Also, if, booze-chan wins, I will actually die.And computer-chan, well, I hate to admit it, but I'm just using her to write for you guys. I pump update after update into her, but she never even quivers. If I think of my computer as masculine, does that make me gay? If my computer doesn't want me to finger the keyboard, does that make me a rapist? Deep questions.
>>2876697>>2876697Canon Max (and Sam).
>>2876697Cannon Max>>2876709I tell ya, Booze-*kun* is a trap. Trying to convince you to let them get inside you. You know it's wrong, but it feels so good even if it sometimes hurts a little to force them down your throat.
>>2876709>Also, if, booze-chan wins, I will actually die.Well that certainly escalated fast.
>>2876697"Sam 'n Max" or "Max 'n Sam" Depending on who you ask in Superfly's group. Superfly has a hilarious backstory to tell about how his rat got the name.>There was a vote on deciding what to name the Rat and Superfly thought it would be fitting to use Good old Democracy to vote for a name. said Good old democracy caused Avenger's Civil War and almost everyone in Superfly's group got into a war with each other having gotten split down the middle between the "Sam" party and the "Max" party. Johnson was stuck doing damage control. 2 demolished top secret government buildings, a $4,000,000 fine for speeding, 40 different ferret collars, and a trip to the hospital later, a compromise was reached. the rat was named "Sam 'n Max". But now Johnson has to deal with the eternal debate between the "Sam 'n Max" party vs the "Max 'n Sam" party.
>>2876697Codename:RintintinIMWeaselStitchTrinityJeremy IronsMr. Tiddlywinks (must attempt to say in as noble and/or menacing a way as he possibly can)
>>2876791>Jeremy IronsSupporting this. Alternatively Jonathan Irons if you wanna rip off a certain below-average part of a mediocre video gayme franchise.
>>2876697>>2876775can't not vote for this.
>>2876775>>2876697I guess I could vote for this instead as it seems to be gaining traction.I mean, our guy is named Freebles.
>>2876697"Maximilian," Superfly's ferret says, "Samuel N. Maximilian. I answer to both Sam and Max. There was a dustup over naming the 'team pet'."'Superfly' Johnson is a man of few expressions and a stiff upper lip, but you can see him twinge, just a little."Naming?" W asks, "that's got supernatural significance. I admit, I've got a scholarly interest in how it might have affected you. Mind if I-"The ferret hisses at the wizard, then Superfly pets 'Max's head, smoothing down the ferret's ruffled fur as he drags his hand down the rodent's body, "hey Supermax," he says, "chill a bit." Well, you know what side of the debate Superfly was on. And 'Supermax' seems just a little too on-the-nose for a ferret with a kill collar. Subtlety was never Superfly's style."I'm afraid I can't let you examine him," Superfly tells W, "it's like taking photos on base, hey?""I get it," W says, gesturing with that wineglass, and the wine swills in a spiral, sending the last ray of sunlight into a claret-colored kaleidoscope around the room, "I get it. And you probably got someone to check him after the naming, right?"You get the feeling your 'academic wizard' is playing games here. But the game taking most of your attention is the one Liska's playing on you, with her entire body. Freebles scrambles a bit, then perches on the back of the chair.Maybe the reason demons conduct business draped in beautiful people is to show they can resist it and concentrate on something else?Maybe they're just hedonists.Superfly's expression betrays him by a hair. He hasn't had 'Supermax' examined by a magician, if you know that look.It's a lot like the one he had when he hid a chick in his locker on 'field day'."So you guys play it fast and loose?" Freebles asks, "I can respect that. Hey, 'Supermax', what do you think happens when we get audited right now?""I think it's not my problem," the other ferret tells him, crossing his tiny arms, "Unless you - you wouldn't call this in!" he yells, baring his teeth, "you have more to lose than I do!"Well, that's a rat fight in 3... 2...>Grab Freebles before he can do any damage>So, Superfly, how's this gig been working out for you?>If you guys have to have a testosterone match, at least have it in the backyard>Freebles, we are a legitimate business>WRITE IN
>>2877563I'm not sure it counts as gaining traction if your vote could have changed things into a tie.
>>2877682>Freebles, we are a legitimate businessI don't really know what this means in this context, but I feel like Freebles will hear the tone and interpret it correctly.
>>2877695Well since I started with Max, it wasn't really like I was opposed to having the name be part of it.
>>2877682>Freebles, we are a legitimate business.>Take it outback if you want to assert yourself over him please.
>>2877682>Freebles, we are a legitimate businessDo the hand motion, and the accent.
>>2877682>Difference is, we can win. You're a guest, play nice.
>>2877682Your bosses are going to go nuclear at what we're doing. I don't think you understand the situation at all. They aren't going to check to see if you have any involvement or not.>I recall not starting stupid shit being one of the rules to being a guest. You are willing to abide by them, are you not? Dad glare.>Do you really think you're going to be remotely safe if they pulled the kill switch on a bunch of girls that took down a Duke of hell in combat AND pissed off a duchess of hell that's killed at least 70% of the Ars Goetia so far?>We also wouldn't lose but on that note. W, please tell me you guys have new prototype contracts somewhat ready. I was gonna discuss that before everyone got drunk but the issue is getting forced the sooner we think the shock of what the fuck just happened wears off on them. Madison come over here. Mary's team is in too much chaos to think straight right now What do you think about being the first one to get a brand new contract and can you manage to not accidentally burn down my house afterwards? There is too much alcohol from Dionysus floating around for you to be lighting anything on fire.
>>2877730>Do the hand motion, and the accent.I admit to not being familiar with exactly what you're referencing here. I'd appreciate a link.
>>2877774Sounds like a mafia reference?
>>2877682>Grab Freebles before he can do any damage>Freebles, we are a legitimate business>So, Superfly, how's this gig been working out for you?
>>2877682>>Grab Freebles before he can do any damage>>So, Superfly, how's this gig been working out for you?
>>2877682"Freebles," you say, in a dangerous tone, "we are a legitimate business. And he's a guest.""We told them not to start shit, so you don't get to either," you tell him, twisting your neck to look at Freebles on the top of your chair, "you're baiting a fight, and you're baiting it really hard. Cool it, bro.""I don't think you get it," Freebles says, as Liska nestles her head against your exposed neck, "I don't think I get it. Everything is screaming I have to fight him.""Are you just an animal?" you ask Freebles, as Liska licks your neck. Frankly, that question could be directed at multiple people here."Jesus," Superfly says, his hand grabbing the scruff of 'Supermax's' neck, then he grins, "I can see why you married her.""If I was," Freebles says, glaring at 'Supermax', "we'd already be on the floor.""The feeling's mutual," Supermax says, his eyes shining, "and I know that was an empty threat. Still got my hackles up. Superfly, let me fight this guy, please!"W buries his head in his hands. Then lifts it up to take a drink.You can hear Freebles pant a couple of times, then he tells you, "bro, I'm still on your chair, I'm still in control, it's going to be a 'play fight', but I need to fight him. Everything says I have to. Bro, I feel like a nuclear missile that's had all the launch keys turned."You've still got a leg up on Superfly. He has to hold 'Supermax' back, and you only needed words for Freebles."Superfly," you say, looking back at your battle buddy, "this-" and your mind goes blank for a second, as Liska's tongue finds just THAT place on your neck, "wasn't why I got married.""You gonna spin something about her personality or her mind?" Superfly asks, as your ferrets make strange noises at each other, and you feel Liska stiffen against you."Yes," you tell him, tightening your eyebrows, "you know a pretty face wouldn't tie me down for a week. It's a great bonus - icing on the cake," you say, petting Liska's ears, and she relaxes a little, "and there's a lot of icing on the cake, but what matters is that there's a damn good cake. If you get my drift.""I think he's dense," Liska tells you, her teeth very pointy, then turns her head toward Superfly, "published writer, bitch. Fox wife who didn't run out. And you're a-"Liska tries to jump across the table, but you manage to pull her back onto you before she does irreparable violence to your old buddy.'Just enough to be dangerous', huh?He handles women like he handles C4, you think, glaring at Superfly."I might need another go," Liska whispers to you, breathing heavily.>We might need a rat fight. And we might need to watch>W, entertain our guests. With a rat fight. I need to attend to something>Continue as if nothing happened>W, entertain our guests. Freebles, bro, no fighting. I need to attend to something>WRITE IN
>>2878084>We might need a rat fight. And we might need to watchFrist blood
>>2878084>>Continue as if nothing happenedNo. Control yourselves. All of you. You're better than this.
>>2878084>>We might need a rat fight. And we might need to watchFirst blood, and Freebles, don't touch his collar.
>>2878084>We might need a rat fight. And we might need to watch
>>2878084>Continue as if nothing happened>We might need a rat fight. And we might need to watch
>>2878084>First blood, and no fatalities. And no cheeky fatal internal organ damage either. Which leaves only WWE wrestling style fights. >Cool the ferrets with a fight, I'll need to cool a fox.
How many threads before the heat thing is done? Throwing Ellie's demon shit on top of that is not something I wish to read.
>>2878084>>W, entertain our guests. With a rat fight. I need to attend to something
>>2878084>"We might need a rat fight. And we might need to watch.">Whisper "And if you're a good girl i'll do That Thing You Like^TM."
>>2878150Right? I thought we were done with that, especially with the additional mess having Ellie around for at least a week solid is going to cause.
>>2878084>There's too much at stake right now for anyone to be distracted by whatever this is. We do a rat NONLETHAL fight and in exchange we share some information like how to adjust your contracts and you giving an actual timeline on that audit? Just fighting should give your rat some idea of what freebles did too so if he knows combat magic he's getting information. (This doubles as entertaining our guests.)I have something to attend to while your fight is going on.(The wife.)Wizards, Madison,(Did we forget to wake her up or something?) the other girls are a bit too rattled. Discuss the terms you think would be ideal on a new contract with W and James during the fight. We're trying to get a gauge on time, but we need to have a plan for an emergency rewrite.Poor Freebles. Getting blamed on the guest being rude and too stupid to understand concepts like collateral damage.
>>2878150>How many threads before the heat thing is done?I think that's how most of the characters involved in it in-quest feel about it as well.
>>2878214That plus every session since it started is largely just fucking the wife, trying to be supportive of the daughter without her fucking us, and trying to keep the daughter and wife from fucking. Remember when the MC was tired of everything being fucking and fighting to these people? What happened?
>>2878238He got his shit pushed in by a fucking demon cause a shotgun and basic bitch human doesn't WIN normal fights. >>2878214>When the 1 post ID complains.
>>2878244Which was a pretty fucking stupid thing on the whole but anons wanted to action movie and we forgot to move and shoot for some reason. I'm more upset that I didn't notice when we switched from Dad quest to magical Mafia management quest. Also holy fuck stop adding characters, we already have like 30 and only interact with fucking 6 of them plus the flavor of the week.
>>2878084>Continue as if nothing happened>>2878244Yea, I get a new ID other post it seems. Something about how my ISP assigns IPs.
>>2878258We were drunk in power without having any relevant power to speak of.Fuck you. In the next 5 threads this will become a civ quest and there is nothing you can do to avoid it.
>>2878258>switched from Dad quest to magical Mafia management questthat happened a long time ago, back around when we did the first drinking under a banner thing with Freebles.>Also holy fuck stop adding characters, we already have like 30 and only interact with fucking 6 of them plus the flavor of the week.It seems to be a weakness of his. He's even complained about character bloat before, but keeps adding them anyway. I suspect he adds new characters when he feels things getting stale or slow.
>>2878266Oh there's always something. I'll just stop reading until I see FINAL after the quest name. Pretty close to dropping it anyway.
>>2878258We were worried he'd bring in his groupIf we brought in ours. And we'd handily dealt with other large scary demons before (with some help). The standing and yelling thing was stupid though. Haiku doesn't seem to want to write action scenes, which I suspect was part of that.
>>2878280 That's what I meant. At the time it still seemed like something to keep looking out for our girl and her friends. Now we have essentially nameless mooks for combat bonuses.
>>2878300It reminds me of Soma. He just couldn't seem to stop himself from adding characters and plot hooks, and over time it really bogged him down.I feel like Haiku's style (if this quest is anything to go by) would work well for a MC constantly on the move for one reason or another. At least that way he could add and ditch characters as much as he wanted.
>>2878327 That's the other problem. Whenever haiku gives an option that he explicitly said will vote X thing or character out of the quest, he keeps it around anyway.
>>2878258That's what life is like, Anon. Just trust they're doing their own thing in the background and can pop up when reasonable/relevant.
>>2878258Eh. Whatever. I think he's gotten much better at juggling them since he started. You remind me a little bit of the guy that was inexplicably out for Bernie's head.
>>2878327>plot hooksWhat's bothering me is that Mary just disappeared into thin air and a handful of posts later we don't even seem to care. She's one of the oldest, most level-headed cast members and one of (if the the) strongest members of our little group. Surly we should be at least a little proactive in figuring out what happened to her?
>>2878432Aside from James and Myrna we haven't every talked to any if her crew, we takes to Ws daughters about once each, I vaguely recall Karen getting mentioned maybe twice since the pregnancy thing, who even is Kelly's daughter, Shelby has been relegated to largely kitchen staff, Rick is almost entirely on the background, and Sue's mom is just let jailbait Sue.Yet we still inexplicably invite these people over to about 7 cookouts a day and never talk to them.
>>2878442We are. We've called in the experts. It's just that everyone keeps voting for big damn BBQs inviting everyone we know, so we end up with a bunch of immediate conflicts to resolve.
>>2878442But we are doing that. We have been asking W if they can find anything, I at least voted to invite Hamasaki over as an advisor, and we have not at any point considered Mary to be exempt from her position because of a little thing like godhood. To get her back we need to prepare. We need to unlock those contracts for more power, we need to find her position,we need to make sure we don't immediately die to some bullshit like Supafly's team rescuing a "hostage", the rats FINALLY hitting the NOPE button (is the rat command fucking asleep or something?)The only jarring thign is that we have time for damn polite conversation with Supafly and co when it really should be more like the rush back to your ship after you killed a boss in Metroid. We're on a timer until the rats do something.>>2878449You make a good point about Rachel and company. They know wizardry. They should be working on the new contracts instead of piling everything on W.
>>2878442we're trying but the fucking Soup got to us first.>>2878258 Welcome to the growth of a Quest, Rat King soon.
This is a terrible time to abandon thread, but I just can't keep it up tonight.The worst part is, most of you guys criticizing have really valid points.Christ, I still can't run a quest past ten threads.
>>2878469>the rats FINALLY hitting the NOPE button (is the rat command fucking asleep or something?It has been explained that they don't really care unless the energy income stops.
>>2878483but we are on thread 14
>>2878483But we made it past 10, Ya did it. Don't you fucking dare leave this quest dry, I will end your existance cause I enjoy it.
i think the only one who might know a little and we haven't asked about Mary yet is Butler and who knows if he'd be willing to help >>2878483don't give up, it's not because one or two incels can't handle some pg-13 action that everyone agrees with them
>>2878483Haiku pls. this clusterfuck of the magical underside of all the magical world hidden from the modern mundane is just what the doctor ordered. It also seems like you revel in writing the quest. keep at it. I love this quest. it's one of the few quests that keep /qst/ from looking like a dull board.
>>2878483Don't forget we wouldn't be here if we didn't care. We'd just leave if were weren't enjoying things.I think you're having an issue between a MC with responsibilities that has good reason to keep them, and a carefree(?) approach to questing. This is quest is great fun, but sometimes I wonder if you'd be happier wrapping this up and making a new one that can be more wild without being bogged down by responsibilities.
>>2878486That was before Mary turned into a God.The current question is up in the air because Supermax isn't obeying our rule of don't start shit and is gearing up for a fight instead of answering the damn question. What we do know from his tone was that he treated the audit as an eventuality and was more concerned about us ratting him out. Since he isn't running away (or trying to convince supafly to immediately start doing so), that tells us the bosses aren't immediately teleporting in but also tells us that they have some sort of prepwork or unit that needs prepwork which is going to be coming in. Neither option is good, but a timeline is important.
>>2878483Take your time man, quality doesn't come when rushed.but don't you fucking dare end this quest out of the blue
>>2878483Eh. Personally I'm not bothered by having a large cast and only minimally interacting with most of them.Like, that's how most TTRPGs go. It's just a matter of having them do their own thing in the background, which in my opinion we can get characters like SuperFly or Sachio to do by lending out our guys to team up with their guys. Or we can go on missions with Ellie and Haru etc. to Diplomance stuff they can't just kill.We don't need to have to give equal screentime at all. Also we can have them achieve goals in the background.Personally, I love that it's spiraling out of "Are you a bad enough Dad to 0ut on a frilly dress" and into "Well, guess we gotta kill God now."I mean. Has anyone considered just getting enough power to cut a deal with the Rat God?Anyways, everyone bitching is just bitching that they aren't getting THEIR special little slice of the quest catered to. Fuck 'em. Overall it's top notch.>>2878327Soma ran for YEARS and people played consistently in high numbers. Soma did nothing wrong, fuck off Rob and the IRCabal. Salty bitches who couldn't accept losing votes or failing rolls were the problem with Somas Quest.OP hasn't burned down a single bar in this quest. Although 1v1 the Demon Lord is pretty close to [/spoiler]putting on the mask.
>>2878483It's the same tired bitching where they don't offer any constructive criticism though. Like, guys and girls, how would you like to resolve the "issue" of cast bloat for instance? Like fuck, we literally decided to have SuperFly get made last couple of threads. Don't put that on Haiku. That was 100% players. We didn't have to take in Madisons team. Nor random Foxes, as hilarious as it was. Haiku introduces new characters, but we're the ones voting to keep on having them be present in the threads. God I hate Sue's mom. Better than playing in a Bioware wasteland of <10 relevant people and a bunch of dice rolling against faceless mooks.If that's what people want, there's a ton of shitty fanfic quests. That also actually have cast bloat but people only interact with the "main" characters because they're lazy boring fucks.
>>2878483You're still going strong man, all you need to do is figure out a way of putting members of the cast into their own boxes where they operate efficiently and independently without needing screen time. Once that is achieved, you can make people become screen centric again with issues related to their box or a grand issue that forces people to be pulled out of said box.I thought this whole exercise of Mary's apotheosis was basically an excuse to get rid of a decent chunk of the cast into a divine pocket dimension desu, as attendants or whatnot, and was reasonably impressed 'cause it makes sense.
>>2878709>>2878084I would 100% support Mary and the Gals going out and carving out a pocket dimension of our own to retreat from the Rat God of he comes down on us.
>>2878709I'm also thinking that compartmentalizing characters and character groups into various 'boxes' is a good idea.If I wanted to compartmentalize the major cast I would say:Primaries>Family>Our Girls (and Shelby)>The Wizards and Hitmen>The OfficeSecondaries>Extended Family (Japan)>Extended Family (Hell)>Madison's Crew>Supafly's Alphabet Crew (I'm kinda wanting their Commander/Superior to be Heinrich)I think the main problem isn't the size of the cast but that so much of the cast is in one place right now and a chunk have a tendency to follow us around or events end up chaining to them due to the yarnball.Once Madison's Crew moves into their apartment, Ellie and crew go back to hell, the other groups head home, and we get back Mary, Haiku should probably due a few small group/single box problems before the next major everyone together mess.
>>2878799See, now this is constructive criticism.
>>2878799You're missing a box or two (where does kelly's or W's groups fit?, etc), but the principle is sound, though I wish we could swap primaries around. We've spent a ton of time with the family lately, wife especially. I'd like it if we could go on, say, a vacation without Melon or Liska, give someone else some screen time for a change. I enjoy talking to Hariet, but that's just a personal preference.>Haiku should probably do a few small group/single box problemsTrouble is, brining existing groups back into focus seems to be a minor version of his 'add more characters' vice. See the RV just showing up at our house, for instance. That was a whole crew, stuck at our house for an indeterminate amount of time.We're kinda stuck at this wierd point where our freeform quest has gained enough form that it would benefit from some structure. But that's not really Haiku's style (or interest, I suspect), and I bet at least some anons would prefer a return to a looser style of quest rather than things getting more mechanics focused.Some spitballs for attempting to solve or at least mitigate this:1. acquire/appoint a regent to actually manage our little empire, handling things like research focus, inter-group conflict, minor extra-group conflict, and actually directing all our sub-groups towards useful work, etc. We would lose a lot of direct power within the group, but we'd be more free to do as we wanted/needed, and would retain top-level decision-making.2. Some task or series of tasks appears /that works towards fixing or helping the MGs/ that we can dispatch our sub-groups to work on, preferably for a long period of time.3. tell them to manage themselves for a while. Politely. Most of these people had lives before they encountered us. At some point they might want to get back to that. Make sure we retain some way to contact them if needed.
Who would be stronger now, Eleanor or Mary?
>>2879143I feel like becoming a Goddess makes your strength highly situational.
I think some of the responsibility is on us as well since we're going with the characters we got familiar with first in votes instead of lesser known (or mostly unknown) characters.Madison's group is also a bit more free spirited and aren't glued to our library so we end up talking to Madison more. I think we rush off to Harriet a bit much to ask her questions that she established she isn't giving answers to. (And lately doesn't even have enough familiarity to even try) Not saying we can't keep up a friendship or whatever that is of sorts. I just figured we should know by now that she isn't going to be a game guide. At this point its a habit and might as well be considered "our thing"? We'll be on our deathbed with grandkids and still be asking her if she's ever seen anything like this before.>>2878449What is with Karen being so quiet? It's like she completely mellowed out after hooking up with Angus? I'm surprised her parents haven't bothered us yet.>>2879143Mary. Elanor got whammed just by being in the yarnball. It's unfair since Mary "stole" an assload of that power but that's how it seems atm.
Luckily, I seem to have gotten the most sleep last night I've gotten for a while.>>2878421>Just trust they're doing their own thing in the background and can pop up when reasonable/relevant.This is one of the HUGE limitations of second (or first) person perspective. One of the big things the MC's been able to accomplish is creating a place/context where a variety of supernatural types can have conversations without everything devolving into violence or dominance games. Unfortunately, this is mostly invisible to him, because he can't be everywhere at once, and he's eternally on point for the dominance games shit, even if he's just a referee.>>2878469>we have time for damn polite conversation with Supafly and co when it really should be more like the rush back to your ship after you killed a boss in MetroidWell, that's 'talking is a free action syndrome' for ya. And I've got a bad case. It's compounded by slower posting speed and juggling several different plot threads that all trigger each other. Alternatively, it's because "Jesus Christ, government mole, and his buddy came in with a team?" is a super high priority to deal with.>>2878488>>2878493I've made it past 10 before. But there's a tipping point somewhere near the 10-thread mark where there's enough barnacles on the ship it can't hold speed anymore.>>2878532>Supermax isn't obeying our rule of don't start shit and is gearing up for a fightApparently, IRL ferrets are super territorial. Freebles has been very deliberately baiting him, as well. I should probably just call this the 'Animal Instincts Arc'.>>2879183>What is with Karen being so quiet?She was never very noisy. Unlike some other characters, she's not relying on the MC for emotional support, and she's 'in the game' for very different reasons than most of the rest.
>>2879794Karen sounds like a great team leader replacement for Mary.
>>2880073she has her own weird way of saying baseball, i bet
>>2880073She already gets saddled with tons of responsibilities by her parents. I don't think she wants more and a thrill seeker as a leader is generally a big risk. Melon has her head on straight but we don't want to have any allegations of nepotism. She also might not be able to be harsh with her friends. She can't even stop them fro making lewdfics about us.Sue might surprisingly work IF we fix her weird fantasies and she has the sword as an advisor.
>>2879794>Unfortunately, this is mostly invisible to him,So make it visible to us. Like how Karen is progressing her relationship with Angus.We just need to see that they're making progress in their own way. W's kids are being less shitty, right?
>>2880122well yeah, W did day the family had their first family game night in forever ever since everything cooled down
>>2880129Honestly not super thrilled with Haru's progress.
>>2880157 I think Ellie should've just started dead honestly. I can't think of a single thing she adds aside from pointless drama
>>2880112Sue's never seemed exactly stable to me, though she's a lot better now than when we first met. She's still rather aggressive to be in charge though.Harriet has got the experience for it, but I don't know if she's stable enough emotionally to handle leadership.>>2880186Everyone's got at least one character they don't like, especially with this many named characters.
>>2880112> Sword as an advisorDo you want to March on Edo? Because that's how you March on Edo.
>>2880186That's how I feel about Sue's mom.
>>2880275She took our side of the story a bit too easily. You'd think a police officer would properly investigate instead of that crappy excuse we sent her. I was expecting to have to use the sword to show our perspective of the first meeting.
>>2880275>>2880304I always took Jean to be one of the mundanes that regularly bumps against the masquerade without really passing through. The sort of character that would regularly see or interact with weird things that got quickly covered up and her claims would be regularly brushed off.I suspect Jean had been long harboring suspicions/daydreams that her hunk of a boss was a good demon/fallen angel. She pretty much giggled like a school girl when she learned that Liska wrote from experience and her favorite book was the one with human on demon bondage.We were pretty much the first person to confirm her own suspicions without appearing crazy.
>>2880304It's been at least hinted, if not outright implied, that Jean has a number of the character traits coughmasochismcough that Sue has, and that she's where Sue gets a fair amount of her personality from. Additionally, given her living situation and the fact that our explanation basically waved "daddy issues" as the motive, I felt her reaction was fairly in character.Or, it could just be the QM being lazy.
>>2880963She's shit tier. I guess that explains why Sue is so fucked up, given that her mom is thirstier than a nigga in the desert eating red lobster biscuits without water.
>>2880963>Or, it could just be the QM being lazy.This is never not a potential explanation, but I prefer to blame post character limits and the MC being in a position where he's honestly gotten way more of that story than he has any rights to.>>2880977>She's shit tierIf you haven't noticed yet, almost every parent in this quest who is even a partially developed character is kind of shit in their own way, but also does care about their kids, even if it comes out a bit twisted.One of the things you didn't point out is that Jean just didn't bother going home after that night at the bar, and that's apparently a usual thing, which is arguably worse than anything else. But she's been sharing memories with Sue in the sword, which seems to be painful for everyone involved, and hosted a sleepover (and probably others before the quest began) that has Melon thinking she's a cool mom.The 'White Fox' was apparently enough of a shitbag his wife ran out on him to become a goddess, and his kids scattered to the ends of the earth once they couldn't take it any more, but he may have gotten into the Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere wars in some kind of revenge for Haru's internment.W's a drunk, and what we've seen of the dynamic between his daughters indicates he favors Shirley, because she inherited his magic, but the MC met him while he was out killing demons to fill Rachel's quota.Kelly is either a psychopath, or wearing that mask really hard, and seems to be more comfortable talking to people he has a gun on than his own family. But he also gave 'birthday present for my son' as the reason he wanted to make sure his accounts were squared, and comes off to his daughter as just an overprotective dad type.Iris is a shipping maniac, but she probably thinks that will lead to good things.The MC himself failed to notice anything going on with Melon before Freebles crashed through his window, but has been scrambling to make things right since he found out.Liska dealt with Melon's situation by compulsive drinking, and generally seems to have poor impulse control and/or a love of messing with people. But she also seems to legitimately care for Melon.To quote Tolstoy: "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
>>2881035>IrisWho?>Liska dealt with Melon's situation by compulsive drinking, and generally seems to have poor impulse control and/or a love of messing with people.So that's what's been bugging me about her. Her poor impulse control is driving me up the wall.
>>2880186>Ellie should've just started dead honestlyShe did, and then someone wrote in "what if she's not actually dead, but just went to Hell?" and I rolled with it. There's a very Doylist reason she's just snoozing on the floor this evening, although I think it makes sense Watsonianly.>>2881040>Who?Kelly's wife. One of the characters I pulled my usual "ok, you've met them and gotten a feel for them, and they're around" routine on.>Her poor impulse control is driving me up the wall.It's really bad right now due to the whole 'heat' crap, which is driving most of the characters involved up the wall as well.
>>2881057Fox wife bro. Can't apply human standards.That's probably why I come down so hard on Sue's mom. Her response to finding out about the situation was to try to bone us - despite knowing Sue was crushing on us hard already. Like, that's being extra shitty not just as a mom but as a person.
>>2881084I thought she was just trying to gage what kind of person the MC is.
>>2881057Whoops that was an autocorrect from my phone I didn't notice. I meant she should have STAYED dead. I knew she started dead and that changed. I liked how initially it seemed like she was someone the MC looked up to, maybe influenced why he joined the army. Ever since it was decided she was alive jumping into hell turned into the one good thing she ever did. Her character just slowly degraded from older sibling MC looked up to into someone who more or less was always the way she is now, just dialed down sightly.I was fine with her being alive at first because I was hoping for more of a Noble monster angle and what we ended up with was not worth it whatsoever.
>>2881187Nah, fuck that Noble Monster special snowflake bullshit.I like having to deal with the fact that our sister is, objectively, a terrible monster from Hell. That's what we have to face, and deal with.So can we love an actual monster, instead of Liska who got the demon-but-not-really-evil role instead.
>>2881203>So can we love an actual monsteridk but she comes off more like a dumbshit cousin who breaks into your house for drug money, rather than a "kill babies by the truckload and torture people for kicks" type of "monster".
>>2881208Well yeah, that's a more believable monster.
>>2881214In what way does this make her a more believable monster if I may ask this dumb question?
>>2881218Because instead of being a Saturday Morning Cartoon villain waiting to be redeemed, she's just kind of shitty and it'll take not just a while, but a genuine desire on her part to change.And without that, all we can do is set some boundaries and keep them when dealing with her, and balance that out with accepting her shittiness.
>>2881203I meant in that she had some kind of actual drive or purpose or goal she cares about, even if it's twisted. So far everything she does comes off as something to do out of boredom. Which is a drag to read.
>>2881238It is a fair point. But the three main problems with it are that Ellie is not the focus of this quest, we haven't even bothered to make an actual effort into finding a way to unfuck it for people who are in Ellie's condition but actually do want to change and the last one is that she's not really around to the point where her visits are just her popping up to remind us that she's the older demon sister and that she's a noun that happened in the QMC's life.Honestly feels like we're just going through the motions with her.
>>2881187Yeah. We do seem to only be remembering/mentioning the bad about her in this quest. She very obviously had something to her personality other than what we've seen to make us so attached (other than natural sibling bonding).even if it could be a dysfunctional sibling relationship. We just get tales of fucking and bad boyfriend choices because that's all that demons care about. Demon Ellie doesn't think about hugging each other when grandma died,playing together at an amusement park, the circus coming into town, us trying to beat up her first boyfriend for breaking her heart despite being a comparative midget. Maybe because it hurts too much and you can't let yourself be hurt in hell, but it gets really hard to see that side of her in this quest because she doesn't show it at all.I think occasional moments of lucidity might have sufficed. The attention got focused on Kelly having fucked our sister but he also mentioned crying. We've only seen her tough girl act. We've never seen her cry.
>>2881259>We've never seen her cry.It's going to take a shitload of "Oh shit I fucked up and I can't fix it in the usual manner I always commit to" meds for her to come to that.
>>2881260There's a massive time dilation effect in hell. At this point the old Ellie is a tiny blip inside of decades if not hundreds of years of demon Ellie that she's gotten very good at hiding.
>>2881267Is there really? I could've sworn it was mentioned that hell runs at the same time as earth does, only difference was that nobody bothered to keep track of the time.
>>2881269They seem to be closer to the X-men style of time dilation/flow in this quest so that she's not hundreds of thousands of years old, but Haiku did confirm that time flows differently in hell depending on where you are. That's why demons are really bad with appointments.
>>2881278Huh, well I should keep that in mind for the future.
>>2881239> So far everything she does comes off as something to do out of boredom. Which is a drag to read.I read more as she's batcrap crazy, the perfect psychopath to Butlers perfect sociopath. She has goals, but it's hard to keep focused when you are dealing with horny rage ADHD magic coursing through you like super meth 24/7.She's pretty new as far as Demons go, remember?
>>2881260It's come close a couple times for crying though. First in Hell. Then at the home. There's always just bullshit happening around us all the time.Remember, though, she did save us as a Demon.
>>2881357I'm perfectly aware that she saved us when we were in hell. It was why I never clamored for her permanent removal from the quest nor disregarded the fact that she had her minor moments of humanity.
>>2881354The way I read it was that she's basically all about fighting and fucking. It's mainly the butler pushing her to fight certain people to gain power. Once she's on top in hell there won't be anyone else interesting to fight so she'll invade Earth.Add on to that the more we learn about how she was pre demon the note we come to find she's really not that different. We've also already discovered there's nothing we can do and she doesn't want anything done anyway. The only reason to keep her around is to try and convince her not to invade Earth.
>>2881380Also she's our Sister and we want to prevent her from becoming a complete monster.
>>2881383The biggest problem with that is the fact that talking barely gets through and even then it's only when she feels like it.The real question is how far we have to go to stop her from becoming that monster.
just let mary kill her
>>2881398Good job champ. Now if you could kindly get us Mary, then we'll have a concrete plan to go on.
>>2881383A bit late for that. She's also stated she LIKES being that way and our wizards said there's no way back anyway.
>>2881408>our wizards said there's no way back anyway.The wizards are wrong tough. The radiator effect exists and it does affect her and haru. She won't stop being a demon, but her impulses should be reduced a a whole lot.>>2881393>The biggest problem with that is the fact that talking barely gets through and even then it's only when she feels like it.And we have done that exactly one time. You can't really make some decent statistics out of just one encounter.
>>2881417>And we have done that exactly one time. You can't really make some decent statistics out of just one encounter.I will admit it is just one time, but I have this gut feeling that it's going to be the standard with her.
>>2881423this whole quest has been gut feelings of wizards? general normality in this setting? lol fuck that let's brute force this shit until it works
>>2881423initially yes. This is almost the same as treating someone with a mental disease or an addict that hasn't got treatment in a long time. It won't be fast, but thankfully to the power of plot, it will be way faster than the real thing.
>>2881425Well if it works with Liska's Womb it'll work on other things too.
Hopefully I'll resume later today.I need to add 'players argue about Ellie again' to the drinking game. Not that there's anything wrong with that.>>2881278>That's why demons are really bad with appointmentsI think I said that was more because Hell doesn't have a day/night cycle, just an endless red glow, so keeping track of what time it is on earth takes effort.
>>2881471Does that make Haru's smartphone or wristwatches the most valuable things around for miles? I remember mathing out how old Ellie should be by now and you said the time difference isn't that drastic. or so I thought?
>>2881475Haru´s phone "died" almost immediately after we tried to call him, and i don´t know if they have electricity down there(considering that the most precious things they have are electronics)
>>2881494If DVD box sets are considered suitable offerings/payment then they logically must have electricity in order to be able to use them.
>>2881494>>2881496Perhaps Hell drains most resources like electricity or gasoline at a much higher pace. All except for souls, which could be the reason why they have a soul based economy because souls burn at a much slower pace.
>>2881498I was under the impression that those resources were exclusively imported from earth
>>2878084>Superfly, I think you crossed the fine line between complimenting me and insulting Liska. Can you lay off?
>>2881498Souls are a agricultural resource. They need emotion from a soul to feed off of. Presumably this also gives some measure of power as mere food wouldn't be much of a bartering tool since its easy enough for a fairly large amount of demons to stick around on earth instead of drudging about torturing souls. Finding one guy to sell thier soul in order to sing the blues nets way more emotion nonstop from all of the concerts they're gonna start doing.
>>2882601How does the demonic economy work?People talk about offerings and souls, but if demons really rule the world, they should be able to get anything they want.
>>2883187I'm sure SOME Demons can.
>>2881380>The way I read it was that she's basically all about fighting and fucking. It's mainly the butler pushing her to fight certain people to gain power. Once she's on top in hell there won't be anyone else interesting to fight so she'll invade Earth.That's also my impression. She's just a shell of a person that lived way longer than she intended.>>2881417>The wizards are wrong tough.We have no reason to disbelieve them, they have not given us bad info yet.>The radiator effect exists and it does affect her and haru.I've read the radiator effect as more of a symptom sink than a corruption dissipator. If the radiator was actually "curing" her, she'd be corrupting everyone she radiated into, and we'd be incredibly screwed. Especially as we've got 1.5 pure demons hooked in now.>>2881408>She's also stated she LIKES being that wayAt this point I'd declare her not of sound mind medically. What she "wants" doesn't really matter at that point.>>2881496This is true, though they could just have ancient scavenged tech hooked to an old generator or something.
>>2878084"And we might need a rat fight," you whisper back at Liska, "we might need to watch," you finish, putting your arm around her.You can feel her twitch and then the movement of her ribcage with every breath. It's a feeling you don't associate with negotiation. And Superfly's still grinning. You notice 'Ace' and one of the girls are standing behind him, looking rather unfriendly.Well, your wife did just try to kill (or at least seriously injure) their boss. At least your old buddy appears to have good bodyguards."Fine," Liska whispers back to you."I am a bit dense," Superfly says, rapping his knuckles on his bald head, still gripping the Ferret Of Many Names by the scruff of the neck."You're not kidding, man - I think you just crossed the fine line between complimenting me and insulting Liska," you say, leaning back in your chair, "Jesus Christ, you're in this world - you know how much weight words have. How easy it is to set people off. And I'd really like to keep things civil.""We've gotta try being better than our rats, hey?" Superfly asks, as he pets 'Supermax', "I didn't mean anything disrespectful, lady," he says looking at Liska, "and it seems like you're as lucky to have this guy as he is is to have you. Deuce is a fuckin' catch."You can feel Liska stiffen in your arms. Maybe one comment wouldn't have been too bad on its own, but..."How far down your throat can you get that jackboot?" the girl from Superfly's squad asks, a few sparks flying from her forehead as she grimaces behind his chair, "'a bit dense'? You're a fucking neutron star! Are you even listening to yourself?""United front," 'Ace' whispers at her harshly enough even you can hear it, and she glares at him.Superfly sighs, then says "cool it, kids."Well, looks like the 'dysfunctional family' thing he mentioned wasn't a lie, if the expressions on their faces are anything to go by."If the ferrets need to have a fight," you say to Superfly, hoping that's a less divisive topic, "we can do that. But we all need it to be just whatever nonlethal dominance fight thing they do. Freebles," you continue, looking up at the ferret, "I can't lose the girls. You can't lose Melon. And uh, Sam? Max? Supermax?," you go on, leaning toward the table and looking at Superfly's rat, and then the man himself, "Superfly, you can't lose yours either. I think we all know what would happen after that."Well, that gets you death glares from everyone at his end of the table. Superfly doesn't usually do death glares, from what you remember."Supermax," Superfly says, "if you have to do this...""Either I do it or you have to put me back in the box," his ferret says, "this is not rational. This is not something I can reliably control. This is stupid bullshit, but I just feel like I have to fight this guy.""Same here," Freebles says, "we got fucked over pretty hard with these forms, didn't we? A bit less hard than I'm going to fuck you over in the ring."[1/2]
oh shit, keep her away from the couch cushions.
>>2885290[2/2]"Bring it, chump," Supermax says, his beady eyes narrowing, "could you take care not to hit my balls? They're a pretty large target."You never thought your parlor would ever feel this much like a UFC weigh-in staredown. Of course, it's ferrets staring each other down, perched on chair backs, and Superfly's still got a cautious hand holding 'Supermax' back."Larger than mine?" Freebles asks, and you see him lean forward, "I swore loyalty to a normal. You got collared by Uncle Sam. I'm afraid I'm more at risk for getting my balls hit, if we've going by size.""I struck," Supermax says, licking one of his paws, "a bargain with a world power. Think your balls are the biggest balls of all? Let's do this scruff-of-the-neck shit and get it over with. I hate this even more than I hate you.""So do I," Freebles says, and you're afraid he's going to topple onto you if he leans that far forward, "then let's do it, fuckface."Suddenly, you realize several problems with this plan."I'm seconding Deuce here," Superfly says, "nobody dies in the ring. Nobody dies suspiciously shortly after getting out of the ring.""Whoever's taking the notes for the meeting," W says, a drunken grin on his face, "put down that I'm overseeing the fight, and, you know," he continues, swirling his wineglass again, "I could make things really unpleasant for anyone who messes that up. Working on some shit to trace up through Tiphareth," he finishes, and you see 'Ace's eyes go wide for a second, before he drags himself back under control.If you think about it, Freebles would probably be magically compelled to make things very unpleasant for himself if he fucked this up. And both the ferrets seem to be resisting certain instincts here.Speaking of instincts..."If you're a good girl," you whisper in Liska's fluffy ear, "later, I'll-" and she crams her mouth against your ear, he teeth uncomfortably close."I can't tell you," she whispers back savagely, "how much I hate the fact that you talking to me like I'm a pet gets me going. This can't end fast enough."You somehow manage to twist your head around to whisper in her ear again, "I know. Can you keep it together tonight?""Maybe," she whispers, then draws back, and stands up off of your lap."So," you say, standing up yourself, and interrupting some weird conversation between W and Ace, "I guess we're having a ferret fight in the backyard. There's only one problem. I've got a brother-in-law who's being very territorial about the living room right now. And doesn't like rodents. And that's sort of the way we get out to the back yard."For every problem, there is a solution:[SET 1:]>Deploy Liska to talk Haru down>Go around the side of the house>Haru, could you let us past? The ferrets and the other folks are with me>Hey, this is my house, Haru>Haru, guest bedroom's still open>WRITE IN[SET 2:]>Gather people for the ferret fight>Do not gather people for the ferret fight
>>2885531>Invoking my right as lord of the house to go and take the ferrets out back to let them have a Non lethal but likely very nasty fight Haru. Don't bother getting up.>Also guest bedroom STILL open which might be better for my sister's rest, hint hint.
>>2885543>Oh and if people wanna watch let em. IF not don't make em.
>>2885531>Haru, can you just chill for a minute?>Liska, is he always like that when he gets serious or is that just demonic energy?>W, got a plan? >Do not gather people for the ferret fight
>>2885531>>Hey, this is my house, Haru>>Haru, guest bedroom's still openI don't like how their relationship is forming, but It's not my business. Also, I suspect he's flooded with demonic energy from proximity and the radiator.>Do not gather people for the ferret fightWe're letting them do this for quasi-medical reasons. Let them work out their issues without broadcasting them.
>>2885531>Haru, guest bedroom's still open>Gather people for the ferret fightNow that i think about it wonder if Haru is in heat too. That could explain why he is being so territorial with Ellie.
>>2885581i think Haru is in heat too. Just how his brother, sister and niece are getting a bed time with all that.
>>2885601But it could be a good excuse to leave the house and have a outdoor party since Haru is so protective stressed with so many people in the house.
>>2885531>Haru, you’re a guest, so’s Ellie, and the guest bedroom is open. Can you please take my sister in there?
>>2885531>I really don't feel like dealing with Haru in rut while hopped up on demon juju as two females are also relatively nearby that are in heat if I don't have to. I'm also guessing he prefers to be where we can see them so that we can help if anything happens How big a waste would just teleporting out back be? >Might as well take the meat with us too and get grilling.
I wonder how much Ellie being back in this plane of existence is influencing how aggressive Freeble's is acting right now. Or hell, us and anyone else in this yarn ball. I get the feeling that Haru is going to start to calm as the radiator effect starts to spread out again.
>>2885812This is why I didn't want to summon her again; she riles up everyone just by being on the same plane as the rest of us. Though last time it took a while for her effect to propagate through the yarn ball.
>>2885815I suppose its going to be less intense than last time. And even if she wasn't here, we got fucking Dionysus in the house. Whatever ellie can do pales to his aura.
>>2885531Sometimes the solution is confronting the problem head on."So you're that whip-" Superfly starts, as if it's an automatic reflex, and gets cut off by an audible birdsnest of sparks from the forehead of the girl standing behind him."I'm with 'Mach' on this one," Ace tells Superfly, stepping up beside his chair as you smell the ozone in the air, "don't need to be whipped to be afraid of a giant demon fox. So what are you going to do?" he asks you, giving a smile that wants to raze cities."What," he asks again, his grin getting wider, expanding into something that wants to kill kingdoms, "are you going to do? Or you want me to clear the path?""Obviously," you say, as Freebles jumps onto your shoulder, "I'm going to talk to him. Your name was 'Ace', right?""And I EARNED it," he says, and cracks his neck.Five or more enemy aircraft? This kid?Unfortunately, you can't really discard the idea. But he's not a magical girl. Couldn't be one. A 'Natural' with a weird power? Something stupider?At this point, you can't write anything off."Then stay on the runway for this one," you tell him, and his grin twists a little."Ace," Superfly says, getting out of his chair, "it's his family. Don't jump. If he wants to let us watch his negotiations - that's fine. Deuce," he says, and puts his hand on your shoulder, "you really gonna just walk up and talk to him?""Yeah," you say, and turn away, "it'd be great if you guys stuck with who was supposed to be 'bad cop'," you toss over your shoulderSuperfly laughs, as you come face to face with the beast dominating your living room.Haru is a huge fox with a lot of tails, black fur, and extremely sharp teeth. You're not sure if the rest of your team (and Bernie's) obviously clustering in places away from him means he's insanely powerful, they know he's with you, or they're learning not to shoot first and sometimes ask questions.It does seem to have driven everyone to card games and conversation, instead of the videogame consoles. Or they're in the kitchen. ...and of course Madison's just lying in the hall reading a book, seemingly undisturbed by James, Butler, and the mad priest having some crazy argument standing nearby.The card table has decayed into Harriet, Bernie, and a god of drinking slamming rounds of shots, and speaking with those loose lips that sink ships. At least none of Superfly's group ended up joining."Hey, Haru," you say to the giant demon fox, "can you chill for a minute?""No," he growls.At least he's talking now, you think, as you hear another argument from the kitchen."Guest bedroom's still open," you say, "I think we'd both rather have Ellie sleeping on a bed than on a floor."He growls, bares his teeth at you, then seems to catch himself."He really didn't mean that the way you think it sounded," Liska says from beside you, "so this is how you're dealing with it?"Haru nods silently, teeth gritted.[1/2]
>>2885917"I have something like thirty people in my house," you say, "I need my living room. Ellie needs a bed. She'd be better off in one. I think you can do the math.""Alright," Haru growls."Hey!" you yell at the folks in the hallway leading toward the guest bedroom, with a grandiose gesture, "I need that hallway clear, now!"If there's one good thing you can say about magical folks, it's that when someone yells to get clear, they get clear. It's probably because not getting clear has real consequences in their world."First door on the left," you say as Haru leans his head down and grabs the back of Ellie's dress in his teeth, like a fox picking up a cub by the scruff of its neck, "if you forgot.""We can help carry her," you say, as he starts dragging her past you, but one look into his eyes shows THAT's not happening. Even Butler keeps his distance, and the demon gets a strange look from Haru as the fox passes him.Every look from a giant demonic fox is strange.Several people let out a sigh of relief after Haru finally drags Ellie into the guest bedroom and nudges the door shut from inside."Well damn," D. Onassis says, leaning back in his chair at the card table, "I can't tell who's the predator and who's the prey!"Bernie starts laughing, and Harriet chuckles a couple of times. Several other people seem to find the remark hilarious as well.>I trust this is up to your standards of entertainment? Wait until you see the next act!>That's how relationships work>Ignore him. Well, I guess it's time for a ferret fight>She's my sister, you cockwaving god!>WRITE IN
>>2885921>>I trust this is up to your standards of entertainment? Wait until you see the next act!
>>2885921>>That's how relationships work
>>2885921>>She's my sister, you cockwaving god!
>>2885921>Ignore him. Well, I guess it's time for a ferret fightAnd if we could just get a >WRITE IN, that'd be great.
>>2885921>Ignore him. Well, I guess it's time for a ferret fightLet's get this over with.
>>2885921>That's how relationships work
>>2885944>And if we could just get a >WRITE IN, that'd be great.I'm not sure I understand your meaning here>>2885382>oh shit, keep her away from the couch cushions.I'm missing the joke, but wish I got it.>>2885610>Haru is in heat tooYes. Technically, it's called "rut" for males in many species that do it.>>2885812>how aggressive Freeble's is acting right nowWe have a low sample size, but Freebles has been pretty consistently aggressive toward other rats/ferrets.
>>2885973>not sure I understand your meaningThere was a single vote for every option but >WRITE IN. That amused me.Yes, I'm that tired.
>>2885973That's railgun isnt it? She kills angels and shoots down space stations with flicked coins.And they were complaining about our ASAT girl.
>>2885921>I trust this is up to your standards of entertainment? Wait until you see the next act!
>>2885993Stop exaggerating. Misaka Mikoto is weak as fuck. She's mid tier at best while thinking that she's top tier and has a mental breakdown at the concept of anyone being stronger than her. Myrna did way better than her by accident. It's reasonable for him to complain about ASAT girl if we use her as a comparison.>>2885921>Ferret fracas is gonna happen in the backyard. I assume that there are people who consider it entertainment here so I might as well make use of it.>Remember to keep it in your pants too. There are children present that don't need to be seeing hairy ferret balls on discovery channel.
I wonder who is going to start the bet pool. My money is on James.
>>2885921"Well," you tell him, and sling your arm over Liska's shoulders, "that's how relationships work.""Don't get me started," Dionysus says, as Liska presses up against you, "and," he says, looking at Bernie and Harriet, "don't either of you dare ask about it.""It doesn't have to come down to predator and prey," Liska says, "but sometimes it's really fun to be one or the other.""Since when have you been my prey?" you whisper into Liska's fluffy ear."Since you laid eyes on me," she whispers back at you, "what, you think I like Englishmen in big boots on horseback? Not MY kind of hunt.""I do believe it's my turn," Bernie says, leaning back in a cheap folding chair at the card table, an idiotic grin on his face, "so, D. Onassis," and the grin spreads farther across his face, "relationsh- oh no, I shouldn't ask that of a Greek god!" and he grins harder. You can't tell whether Dionysus is more amused or angry, "so, Harriet," Bernie continues, "relationships?" and he takes his shot.Does he know? Is he baiting at something he suspects? Does he want her to admit that... maybe half the people in the room....She takes hers."They're crazy," Harriet says, "and they're all different. I'm up next? Bernie," she continues, "so who's it been, other than the knight?"And takes another shot.Dionysus starts laughing again, and seeing the look on Bernie's face, you can't help but chuckle yourself."I trust this is up to your standards of entertainment," you say to the god."I would say it's what I expect from your parties," he says, then slaps Bernie's arm playfully and tells him, "take a shot and tell the truth, or take five and lie your tail off. C'mon!""What if I said the next act was a Ferret Fracas straight from the Discovery Channel?" you ask."But are they magical ferrets?" Dionysus asks, suddenly distracted from the inquisition into Bernie's love life."YES!" Freebles and 'Supermax' yell, almost in unison."Oh," Dionysus says, standing up from the table, "I'm IN! Afraid I'm leaving the game, dragon, lady, and I'll take my penalty," he finishes, then drains a couple of inches of a handle of cheap vodka down his throat, "trust that covers my penalties.""Guess I'm done, too," Bernie says, also getting up, and Harriet stands up just after he does.You hear more arguments from the kitchen."Alright," you say, looking around the small mob you've accidentally gathered, "Ferret Fracas: two ferrets enter, two ferrets leave. W, I need a circle in the backyard."[1/2]
>>2886067The idea proves far more popular than you'd anticipated, probably because Haru's drag incident broke up most of the various conversational circles to clear a path."You are the reason I carry spray paint," W says, as he passes you and slaps your back, "was really a good idea," he finishes, heading for the back door.Harriet catches your eye, then point at the hallway leading to Melon's room (and the guest bedroom) and nods.That's going to have to be good enough security, you think, as you see her sit down by Madison, who's resumed reading in the mouth of the hallway.You're swept along by a tide of people toward the back door, some of whom dissipate into the living room, but at this point you've lost control of the situation and you're going with the flow.The fact that part of the flow is Liska pulling you along by the arm really isn't helping.The flow heads directly into the backyard, where W is already laying down another circle in spray paint, while arguing with James and the mad priest about the most effective gematria or something equally fucky.You smell smoke. Looks like Kelly and Rick have been lounging against the back wall of your house with their cancer sticks the whole time. Jean's talking with them but you didn't think she smoked. Jesus, it's hard to keep track of everyone at this point.>Speaking of keeping track of people, you need to keep an eye on Dionysus>Speaking of keeping track of people, you need to keep an eye on Superfly and his team>Speaking of keeping track of people, WRITE IN seems to be taking bets>Speaking of keeping track of people, you need to preside over this Ferret Fracas>WRITE IN
>>2886086Additional option:>Speaking of keeping track of people, you need to keep an eye on Bernie and his teamFuck, there are too many options and I'm writing slower, longer posts
>>2886086>Speaking of keeping track of people, KAREN seems to be taking bets.
>>2886086>Speaking of keeping track of people, you need to preside over this Ferret FracasFreebies and Supermax end up recreating the They Live fight.
>>2886086>Speaking of keeping track of people, you need to preside over this Ferret FracasIt's our house after all and Shirou is busy in the kitchen.
>>2886086>Start the damn grill back up. Or be surprised it still has life in it after its been left alone for God(Mary) knows how long.>Einz appears to have taken over as Ring announcer and is a strange cross between Micheal Buffer and David Attenborough.>Speaking of keeping track of people, you need to keep an eye on Superfly and his team. We both need to impart the wisdom of the grill upon them.
Unfortunately, I'll be leaving things here for tonight, hopefully to pick up earlier tomorrow than I did today.There are interesting things to be had with all options. Frankly, things may be most interesting later by NOT picking certain options.>>2885993The 'The Squad Rolls Up' pic for Superfly's crew (of teenagers with attitude) was a group shot of the Raildex Level 5s. I'm hopefully going in different enough directions to not do the full 'ripoff squad', but they're all stupid high powerlevels and mostly insane. To be fair, that describes most of the MC's group.>She kills angels and shoots down space stations with flicked coinsHoo boy. I'm not getting dragged into a Raildex powerlevels argument in my own quest thread, but Index shot down Tree Diagram accidentally, and, wait a fucking second. Jesus Christ, I've been accidentally ripping off Raildex super hard in terms of general plot and approach to characters and their development or lack thereof.>they were complaining about our ASAT girlWell yeah, Superfly's with the government. He's authorized to do shit like that. The MC isn't authorized. Wherefore and thusly, when things like that happen, people like Superfly descend on him. Particularly when people do shit cover-up jobs.
>>2886086>>Speaking of keeping track of people, you need to preside over this Ferret FracasWith the way they're acting, I don't trust them to not tear each other's throat out.
>>2886094>>2886086I’ll back this
Did we ever call our other brother in law over?
>>2886357He was hanging out with Ellie in hell.
>>2886357That would be the demonic fox we were just talking to.
>>2886367I think anon means Sachio..?
I'd like to say that I'm against overseeing since we just gave that job to W 3 minutes ago. No need to be a micromanager and not trust our own people. We could probably fix this whole overly territorial problem when we make new contracts. Their bodies/minds are just as affected by the contract making if they don't train for it not to do so and Freebles has a giant yakuza tattoo to prove it..
>>2886399Given how our last conversation with Reiya ended, I bet he’s either still ‘busy’ or asleep.
>>2886399I did actually mean SachioOP how cool are we with our superfly?
Has haru been always this demonic?
>>2886086Might as well add keep an eye on Myrna to my previous vote. She's specifically the ASAT they are after and the one certainty about him has always been finding a way to make things explode in his face.
>>2887741We'd have to ask Liska; we haven't spent that much time around the in-laws, considering how long we've been married.
>>2886086Your backyard's rapidly becoming a mob scene.Wizards and a heretic putting down a circle. Smokers leaning against your back wall. Magical girls and whatever the hell Superfly brought with him milling around with a dragon, a knight from over a millenia ago, and..."Hey bro," Freebles whispers from your shoulder, "do you really want this to be 'two rats enter, two rats leave'? I could kill him. Take his contracts. And I think those two girls are the strongest assets they brought.""I don't think that's what matters," you mutter back at him, watching some of your crew drag a picnic table toward the circle, "and I'm saying this as your boss - this is not a fight to the death. This is not a fight for my honor, or yours. This is a fight two idiots felt like they had to pick. And you said it was going to be a 'play fight'."There are some times in a man's life when he wishes he smoked, just so he can toss the cigarette away to punctuate a statement."Alright, boss," the ferret says, as you walk toward the circle the wizards are about to finish, "then let's make it play.""LADIES," Einz yells, hopping up onto the picnic table, and doing a horrifying impression of her brother's ringside manner, "GENTLEMEN, BOYS, AND - MOST IMPORTANTLY - GIRLS! I'M ANNOUNCING THE SECOND ROUND OF THE RAT CUP TO BE HELD IN THIS BACKYARD! WHO'S READY FOR THE FERRET FRACAS?"That gets far too much of a cheer.How can someone so small be so loud?You take a quick glance at Kelly over your other shoulder, just in time to see his jaw drop far enough he loses his cigarette, then he scuffs it out into your lawn. Well it's what you'd do if that was your daughter trying to hype an event like this. And you smoked.Ok, you might need to help ballast this one out, you think, quickening your pace toward the picnic table and the nearly-completed magical circle."Two ferrets are here," the magical girl continues, slackening off a bit on her volume, "to engage in a dominance fight. This is common among ferrets, and victory goes to the ferret who can successfully grab his competitor by the back of the neck, and either hold them down or thrash them around for a count of -" and she pauses, looking down at W, you, Superfly, and the crowd in general, "does ten sound like a good count? I think ten sounds like a good count!""Weigh-ins are for weaklings!" she continues, "we've got at least five wizards, a priest for last rites (if necessary), and since the ring's a circle, there aren't any cornermen, so I'd like the ferrets' coaches to come up and help out on the commentators' bench!"That seems to have crowd approval, and you share another longsuffering look with Superfly.>At this point, Kelly gets his daughter to stop>The point of weigh-ins is the trash-talk, and we can't skip that>It's sports commentary time [WRITE IN BULLSHIT TIME]>I feel I should make the regulations clear again>WRITE IN
>>2886112What have you done
>>2888100>The point of weigh-ins is the trash-talk, and we can't skip that
>>2888100>>At this point, Kelly gets his daughter to stop>I feel I should make the regulations clear again
>>2888100>trash talk/sports commentary: “with at least two murders, and no convictions, my bro Freebles!>two ferrets enter, two ferrets leave!>get into the spirit of the thing, and unleash our inner Vince McMahon
>>2888100>>2888131>The point of weigh-ins is the trash-talk, and we can't skip thatplease work in "AND IT'S THE UPSET OF... THE LAST FIVE MINUTES! _____ HAS WON!"
>>2888100And in this corner, with the champagne coat we have Samuel D Maximilian. He is well know for disposing of (whatever Misaka's name is)'s love letters to Ace as a nest and occasionally devouring wild boar in a wild cherry sauce.And in this corner we have our reigning champion, capable of Bench pressing an entire african Bush Elephant, known for his love of classic rock and cute little ferret mustaches(Moose stache), Freeeeeebles the Mercury!
Jesus, why did I wait this long to start posting?This next bit, and the blending of write-ins and such that must occur, will probably be better if I sleep first. (Also gives times for more write-ins.)What I really should do is just wake up tomorrow and start questing.>>2887317>I did actually mean Sachio>>2886520 is making a good bet. Sachio's 'dealing' with his own 'issues'. And 2.5 foxes on premises is tempting a lot of fate as it is, considering the current guest list.>>2887741>Has haru been always this demonic?No. He's been a walking, talking, fox-eared dude (or large fox) during most of his prior appearances. Granted, that's only what the MC's seen of him.
>>2888160>>2888100https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEJ8lpCQbywOh and a Siamese coat or whatever.https://www.coopsandcages.com.au/blog/ultimate-list-ferret-breeds/The Contract Killer would be an acceptable nickname as well.>I'd like a good clean fight. There are ladies present so keep it in your little ferret pants.>Let the girl have some fun Supafly. I prefer it to them dealing with life and death.>Mind letting us see what new contract rewrites you got your group setup with as an example after this is done? I don't think we need the help but it's always good to have tips. I bet you guys (talking to the Supafly Sentai) love having 90% of that garbage cut out of yours.
>>2888178Sleep well, cause tomorrow is gonna be a epic (hopefully)
>>2888100"Let 'em have some fun," you tell Superfly, in a lowered voice, as you step between the picnic table and the ring, and Freebles eyes the ferret on you old buddy's shoulder as he steps up to face you."Let's give 'em a show," Superfly tells you, in a similarly lowered voice."In this corner," Einz continues, "wait, we don't have corners! Ok, so on one side, we have SAMUEL N. MAXIMILIAN! A wild ferret who," and someone fumbles a sheet of notebook paper in her hands, so she can read it, "shreds love letters into nesting material?" that gets a laugh, "expert in gorilla warfare! Over, uh," she says, looking down at Superfly and Supermax, "tell me I'm misreading this - it says three-hundred confirmed kills!""Yeah," 'Supermax' tells her, "and that's only the confirmed ones. They call me 'Supermax' for a reason! I should be in one, but I'm not! Are you ready, punk?" he asks Freebles, leaning forward on Superfly's shoulder."I was born ready, gaijin," Freebles says, "are you ready for the excoriating heat of capitalism to burn the meat from your bones? Are you ready for the loyalty of a sworn brother to descend on you like a wave?""I'm ready for you to try," Supermax says, crossing his furry front-limbs across his chest as he stands tall on Superfly's shoulder.Oh god, they're working angles, and the crowd's loving it."Heated exchange from our contestants," Einz continues, "both wearing gen-you-ine ferret fur coats! Wonder if the boys'll bother taking them off in the ring?"That gets another laugh from the motley crew that's assembled to watch this fight."And on the other side, for those that don't know him," she continues, taking another step across the picnic table, "Freebles!" she yells, swinging an arm across the backyard, "an animal cannibal with two murder counts and no convictions, reigning champion of this backyard, capable of benching as much as I can," more laughter, "and, well, I'm not sure what Supermax managed to get himself into this time.""This is gonna be one hell of a fight," Einz goes on, and looks down at the ferrets, "so are you two ready?""Hey lady," Superfly says, looking up at Einz prancing on the picnic table, then looks back at you, "what if we had ourselves a tag team match?"Wait, what?Oh, shit, that circle is big enough for you all, but...>What if we just let them do their thing and we commentate?>What if we just get the second fight on the card?>If you want it, Superfly, I'll GIVE IT TO YOU! Tag-team rat fight time!>I'm afraid I'm a little under the weather, but, [WRITE IN], could you sub in for me on this?>WRITE IN
>>2889816>>What if we just let them do their thing and we commentate?
>>2889816>What if we just let them do their thing and we commentate?
>>2889816>>What if we just get the second fight on the card?
>>2889816>He's obviously trying to distract us from anything his team might be doing.I'm thinking either Einz(but she's busy commentating) ,Shirley, or we put Myrna in so that they can't try to kidnap her because everyone can see where she is.
>>2889816>Then how are we supposed to color commentate?
>>2889893As a side note. Does anyone have that alt universe Sakura pic where she's sisters with Luvia? She got adopted by the Edelfelt in that timeline and formed a wrestling tag team with Luvia.I feel it would be appropriate.
>>2889816>What if we just get the second fight on the card?
>>2889816>>2889901>>2889893>Take some pictures for the scrap album.>Text Kelly. He's clearly trying to distract me so that I can't keep an eye on his team.Have yourself or Shelby make sure they don't get themselves killed doing something stupid like going into Ellie's room or Melon's. It's not like we have anything worth hiding as far as their mission goes. Preferably Shelby. We don't know if you ended up with death powers and we don't need to find that out via a manslaughter case.
>>2889816> . . . Seriously, you're supposed to be in charge? I stopped getting into dick waving contests with the Supernatural after 1v1 a Duke of Hell. I have accepted that I'm the squishy and softest guy here.>What if we just get the second fight on the card? Two normal dudes wearing masks and not much else, getting sweaty on top of each other.
>>2890066>Implying Superfly didn't take the smart route and augmented himself with experimental tech.
>>2890066You make a good point, but we totally still get into dickwaving contests. At least when we get into stupid fights we need a valid reason.
>>2889816>What if we just let them do their thing and we commentate?Not bitting the bait.
>>2889816"Then how would we commentate?" you ask Superfly, "and I'm still injured from my last match. The ferrets picked the fight!" you tell the small crowd, gesturing at them and the ferrets, "they get to settle it! I'd just drag my bro down - it's his fight."Is that good enough to sell the crowd?Apparently it is.Might have something to do with the fact most of it's your crowd."Then I'll take a rain check," Superfly says, crossing his arms to match 'Supermax's crossed forelimbs, "I don't want to take someone in the ring who ain't ready for it!"Alright, how much of this is acting, and how much of it is real?At this point, you can't tell.You rip your shirt off, exposing your bandages, and say "you bet I'm not ready for it!" as Freebles scrambles to keep his spot on your shoulder, "see how I am from my last fight? Come on, let's hit the announcer's table, and let the ferrets sort things out in the ring!"There's no need to tell him who gave you the wounds, or that they're all superficial. With luck, he'll make his own assumptions, and they'll be dead wrong.Ripping your shirt off is also good theatre. (Even if your theatre teachers said you should never turn your back on the audience.)"Ready for this, Supermax?" Superfly asks, looking up at the ferret perched on his shoulder, who cracks his tiny knuckles in response.Then he uses Superfly's bald head as a stepping stone to jump into the ring painted on the grass."I was ready before we walked in the door," Supermax says, drawing himself up on his hind legs, "it's all of you who wanted the theatrics," he finishes, sweeping a paw around the small crowd."I would have taken you on the tarmac," Freebles responds, before somersaulting into the ring from your shoulder, "they just had to get cool with it," he tells the other ferret, cracking his neck and doing what look like stretches as W finishes the circle with spray paint.That stuff smells evil in the early night air.Superfly nods at you across the ring, and you nod back, then both of you head to the 'announcer's table'. You discreetly text Kelly as you walk - "Eyes on his team. He's trying to distract me from something."Paranoia usually doesn't hurt.You take a seat at the repurposed picnic table, joined shortly by Superfly. Einz is still standing on top of it, spouting some sort of hype and rules and stuff, but you see Kelly look away from her to his phone, then give you a quick nod. He starts tapping certain people very discreetly on their shoulders."...And now that our contestants are in their places," Einz continues, "and we've gone over out nonlethal ruleset again -">LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE! (1d100 rolls, please)>WRITE IN(Write ins are quite appreciated for sports commentary/color commentary/etc. here.)
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>2890322
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>2890322
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>2890322
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>2890322>"And a tackle right off the bat! Bold move, but WAIT! There's a reversal under way, and it's been TURNED AROUND again. This is like a game of Uno with ONLY REVERSE CARDS!"I'm not good at this am I.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>2890354...Fuck.
>>2890372Don't give him ideas you fool!
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>2890322https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXFYzeEioQwIt is surprisingly hard to find videos of Broly wrecking everyone.Freebles does a leaping two footed kick to throw SamnMax into the "wall" before following up with a guy punch.
>>2890382That's explicitly against the rules so he'd lose the battle and have Freebles go super saiyan. That would still be a bad thing for us but considering that freebles is holding around 90% of the mana of a Hell duke and his entire domain. I would not want to make Freebles actually angry enough for him to use his own magic in a fight.
>>2890408I meant the word he'd written down, "Fuck" is pretty easy to use to mess with us.
>>2890322"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!" she yells,and the ferrets begin circling around, darting back and forth, standing up, hissing, and well, exactly what you'd expect from a ferret dominance fight."Seems like a fairly conservative opener from both sides," Einz says, as she sits down between you and Superfly, and smooths her skirt down, "a very conventional dominance display between ferrets leading toward a fight. What's your opinion?""What's with the ring?" Superfly asks, "I get cage matches, but I'm not sure we had to seal them magically.""I think you're forgetting the fact that," Einz says, "in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and he plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table. I'm sitting at the announc- and there they go!" she yells, as Supermax dives forward to tackle Freebles, "a strong start!"Then Freebles vanishes for a split second, reappearing just over his opponent, who stumbles into the empty space where he'd expected the other ferret to be."And what a reversal!" you yell, as Supermax scrabble aside just before Freebles drops on him, "the TACTICAL TELEPORT comes out!""And it's been TURNED AROUND again!" Superfly yells, as Supermax blinks atop Freebles, "so this is why you put down a circle," he says in a much lower voice, as the ferrets start blinking around inside the ring, trying to stay on each other's backs.Probably."It's like a game of UNO with ONLY REVERSE CARDS!" you yell. At this point, you're not sure if either of them's trying to gain an advantage, or just showing off.Well, if they're trying to wow the crowd, they're succeeding. It's more entertaining than watching Freebles eat another rat, that's for sure."If we didn't have them in a ring," you say, "THEY'D BE HALFWAY TO CHINA BY NOW!""It's more like a game of tag than UNO!" Superfly yells, "who's going to make the first catch?"Almost as he says it, Supermax manages to teleport a fraction of a second after Freebles, and snags the other ferret behind the neck with his teeth."And that might be a score!" Einz yells, just a little too caught up in the moment to remember what happens to everyone if Freebles dies right now, "we're starting the count!" she continues, as Supermax starts to thrash Freebles around in midair."10!" she yells, and then both the ferrets vanish."9!" Einz yells, "maybe? Where did they go?"Then it hits you: Freebles can pull people touching him along with him on a jump."Do we have a wizard in the house?" you yell, and W comes up, "how high is that thing?" you ask him, gesturing at the circle."I don't know," he says, stroking his little beard, "in theory, it's infinite. We tried some new stuff this time.""It's a lot taller the Hell in A Cell, at least," Einz says.Oh, she'd better not have given Freebles that idea...[1/2]
>>2890635I hope someone grabs binoculars and a telescope.
>>2890635Then a screaming meteor slams into the center of the circle, digging into your lawn.It's the two ferrets."10!" Einz yells, and then says in a lower voice, "if nobody gets up before we finish the count, it's a draw, right? 9!""Well who's on top?" you ask, as she steps up on the picnic table and continues the count, "THIS COULD BE THE BIG UPSET! A STRATOSPHERIC PILEDRIVER FINISH!""Also," you say in a low voice to Superfly, while people cluster around the circle, looking at something you don't have a good view of, "if they just killed each other, you have no idea how fucked we all are.""I've got some good guesses, though," he mutters back, darkly, as the two of you get up and walk toward the circle, and Einz keeps counting off."Freebs is on top!" someone yells. Sounds a bit like Karen."3!" Einz yells, and then you're close enough to see movement in the miniature crater.Freebles stands up just after "ONE!", with the back of Supermax's neck in his teeth, gives him a halfhearted shake, and waits shakily for Einz to yell "WE HAVE A WINNER!", before letting the other ferret back into the small crater, and lying down on the ground himself.He turns back toward the other ferret and asks, "hey, you ok? Get this guy some water and all that.""Circle," Superfly says, "down, now!""You know what?" a groggy rodent voice says faintly, "you can go fuck yourself. You can all go fuck yourselves. Why the hell did I think this was a good idea?""Same reason I did," Freebles tells him, sprawling back on the grass, "we didn't have a choice here. So did we manage to establish this is my house?""I think that's fairly clear," Supermax says."Cool," Freebles tells him, reaching over with a shaky paw to help Supermax pull himself out of the crater, "because you seem like a decent guy. I was expecting you to try to kill me as soon as I took us out of eyesight.""I thought you took us out of eyesight to kill me," the other ferret says, "gotta say, scraping me against the side of the circle and just dropping with me was pretty good.""I was pretty sure we'd bounce," Freebles says.>Someone break the circle and let's treat the ferrets>Check with Kelly about what Superfly might have been trying to pull>It would probably be a good idea to have a short chat with [WRITE IN] about what just happened>There are food prep things to do>WRITE IN
>>2890799>>Check with Kelly about what Superfly might have been trying to pullWe learned to watch our backs when he is with us after the little trick he did with the drill sergeant.
>>2890799>Someone break the circle and let's treat the ferrets>There are food prep things to doSomeone else can supervise the treating while we help get the food prep taken care of. Simple.
>>2890799>>Someone break the circle and let's treat the ferrets>>Check with Kelly about what Superfly might have been trying to pull
>>2890799>>Someone break the circle and let's treat the ferrets
>>2890799>Someone break the circle and let's treat the ferrets>There are food prep things to do
>>2890799>Someone break the circle and let's treat the ferrets. Shirley actually wanted to be a magical Veterinarian so she has some minor training.She specifically studied whatever she could find on ferrets for when she has to kill one.>Check with Kelly about what Superfly might have been trying to pull>Troll write in Misaka tried to scope out Melon's room and got pinned down by Melon. Misaka had some poorly choiced words after she went in. Then she tried to zap the gay away but it only turned Melon on more. Kelly arrived barely in time to preserve their chastity and they're both bound in the restraints. I'm not a /u/fag. I'm just having schadenfreude at the idea of their snooping about backfiring.>It's grillin time! We must teach this new team the glorious relationship of man and fire.
>>2890981It's magical girls, yuri is inescapable.Also, next time SF challenges us, we should make ourselves a champion. We a REMF now. "SuperFly, meet my champion. Kelly Edwards. Alternatively, you could try and fight my wife. I recommend going with the Angel of Death."
>>2891213>>2890799Offer to let SF fight one of our champions of the wants to contest his ferrets loss.
>>2890799"Someone break the circle," you say, and you see James scrub at the painted line with his foot, as if he's done this a thousand times, "and let's treat th-"Ok, you didn't even get to finish the line before 'Mach' and Superfly are on their rat with a small medical kit, and you're worried the collective hug Freebles is getting from several of your girls isn't going to help with any problems he might have.He has said he can regrow appendages, so it should be fine.You reach into the crush to pet Freebles' head, and you're pretty sure that's what you got (your fingers are on something fuzzy), "you did good bro," you say, and get a muffled, weak thanks, "hey, girls," you continue, looking around the group, but particularly at Sue and Karen (Jesus, those two are basically the last standing members of Mary's crew right now!), "make sure he gets taken care of. And our guest does, too.""We can take care of our own," you hear from behind you, and turn to see Superfly and 'Mach' examining Supermax, the girl cradling the ferret in her arms, while Ace stands by, like he's keeping watch for them.It seems like a decently-organized group."Let us know if you need help," you say, and Superfly nods at you."He's gonna be fine," he says, "was a pretty good clean fight. Too bad we couldn't go too - you gotta tell me what ripped you up like that," he says, eyeing the bandages on your chest, "in case I run into one.""You might have run into one already," you tell Superfly, "not sure what you've been up to in this world.""We'll have to swap stories sometime," he says, then goes back to examining Supermax.Well, you know how stories go with this group, you think, as you walk over to the smokers, who have congregated against the back wall again, burning cigarettes like cheap incense.Kelly, Rick, James, Jean (who's eyeing your bandages rather oddly) - ok, they're all your people, or close enough."Text," you say to Kelly."Nothing out here," he says in a low voice, "they're still cooking inside. One of them came out to check the grill, but went back in. That invitation might have been trying to gauge you? Or he gave up when you didn't bite.""Speaking of biting," Rick whispers, "I've got a really bad feeling about their white-haired kid. Can't quite put my finger on it."Hmm. You'll file that away for later."Faster we can figure out what they are," you mutter, "the better off we are. I think they're here to grab one of the girls, but they don't know which one. Let's keep it that way.""Oh," Kelly whispers, "THAT one. I'll keep my eyes peeled."Speaking of bad feelings, you look around your backyard. Bernie and his crew (Heinrich, Angus, and the mad priest) - check. Superfly and two of his crew, with the ferret - check. A ton of your folks - check.Shit."Where did Dionysus run off to?" you ask the smokers.[1/2]
>>2891324>"Where did Dionysus run off to?"Away, hopefully. He's a wildcard in a volatile deck.
>>2891324If Dio bangs our daughter, I say we RIP his liver out and feed it to Liska.
>>2891398>Giving our wife the liver of the god of Drunkenness.Not sure if great idea or horrible one.Also our wife is a kitsune, not a kumiho.
>>2891489I'm thinking it's supposed to be a callback to Prometheus's punishment of having his liver being eaten and grown back to be eaten again for all of eternity.
>>2891324"I lost track of him," Kelly says, "focusing on other things. Fuck. That's the last person here we want running loose.""Well, let's find him and not lose him again," you say, "who saw him last?""Are you talking about that 'Onassis' guy?" Jean asks, "he said he wanted some fresh air, so he was going for a walk. What's his deal?""He's literally a fucking god of wine, madness, and rebirth, and he's running around in my neighborhood," you tell her, "or he drove home. I'm going to check if his car's still here."You round the corner of the house, toward the backyard gate, and hear two voices singing a song as someone fumbles with the latch from the other side.And you hear dogs barking.Well, it's song parody time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz9nHvmdAb4"CONFLAGRATION TOOK ME MOTHER,AND FATHER SHOULDA GOT THE POX,ME BROTHERS' LIVES WERE RISKY,AND MOST WOUND UP IN A BOX!ME STEPMUM IS THE REASONTHEY MET WITH THEIR DEMISE,ME SISTERS HAVE MOSTLY CLOSEDTHEIR SMILING GRECIAN THIGHS!"The second voice is singing a more usual variant of the song, but the cacophony works, sort of.You don't want to hear Dionysus' version of the chorus, so you undo the gate latch.Well, that's Dionysus all right. A mostly-empty handle of something in the hand slung over - Fred's shoulders.Your neighbor's obviously been drinking at least a bit with the god. Red nose, stupid grin, singing a terrible song. At least he's still got a hold of his dog's leash. You're hoping the dog's going nuts because it smells the ferrets, not your family.Well, that's the worst person Dionysus could have run into and dragged back to your house."Hey, man!" Fred says, "he said there was a party, but I didn't expect it to be one of your parties. You guys are something else!""I'm a fucking god of parties," Dionysus tells him, "I told you man! Any party worth going to, I can find it! It's like radar for parties! Party-dar!""Wish I'd had that when I was your age!" Fred says.>Thank you for helping to return my impaired guest, Fred. I'm afraid I can't let your dog in - our pets wouldn't get along with them. So I hope you have a nice rest of their walk. Thanks again, man>Jesus Christ, I can't let Marlene see you like this. You can sober up over here, but the dog has to stay in the front yard>Well, want to come on in, Fred? The dog needs to stay out front. [Get Fred so fucked up he can't remember anything crazy from this night, except that it was crazy]>I'm afraid this guy was never my guest. Sorry, try the next place>WRITE IN
>>2891592>Well, want to come on in, Fred? The dog needs to stay out front. [Get Fred so fucked up he can't remember anything crazy from this night, except that it was crazy]He should also attribute any weird things to him just having a crazy dream he can't forget in the future.
>>2891592>>Well, want to come on in, Fred? The dog needs to stay out front. [Get Fred so fucked up he can't remember anything crazy from this night, except that it was crazy]Lets go for black out drunk shall we
>>2891592So, if it's worded oddly, I apologize.That spread of options is basically:>Thank Fred, take Dionysus in, send Fred on his way>Take Fred and Dionysus in, but try to get Fred sober enough to go home as soon as possible, and keep him out of stuff until then>Take Fred and Dionysus in, get Fred crunk enough he won't remember anything, Fred becomes part of the mix for the night>Fob them both off>WRITE INAs is often the case, these are kind of general plans/attitudes as well as specific actions.I think I'm going to sleep soo, and will hopefully be back tomorrow.Next runtime on twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge
>>2891592>Thank you for helping to return my impaired guest, Fred. I'm afraid I can't let your dog in - our pets wouldn't get along with them. So I hope you have a nice rest of their walk. Thanks again, man
>>2891592>thank Fred, take Dio, don’t let Fred inThis guy is our one real anchor to normalcy, and right now, we can just explain away Dio. I think it’s still Thursday night in-quest? So, a work night. Explaining why Fred went out to walk his family dog, then got absolutely blackout drunk at our place is going to be way worse than letting him go home like this. He seems fairly coherent right now, if a bit jolly
>>2891592>Thank you for helping to return my impaired guest, Fred. I'm afraid I can't let your dog in - our pets wouldn't get along with them. So I hope you have a nice rest of their walk. Thanks again, manhe knows we have a ferret and foxes, makes sense
>>2891592>>Thank you for helping to return my impaired guest, Fred. I'm afraid I can't let your dog in - our pets wouldn't get along with them. So I hope you have a nice rest of their walk. Thanks again, man
>>2891512It was multiple things. Liska is still a Fox Demon, I'm sure she'd love a little liver. It's cool, weed cook it first. Fuck, Melon might like some. It's also a call back to Prometheus, but since it's the liver of a God they might get a power up too. Extra spite as well because now Dionysus can't drink.
>>2891592>Well, want to come on in, Fred? The dog needs to stay out front. [Get Fred so fucked up he can't remember anything crazy from this night, except that it was crazy]Make sure to officially offer Fred Guest Rights so that we can protect him from being fucked with.
>>2891592>Pull our some chairs and shoot the shit with Fred and Dio where we are. >Text kelly that we found Dio. Making sure Fred doesn't get anything permanent.>When everyone is sober and if Fred remembers anything we can just truthfully say he's a rich client. He probably gave you such crazy stuff that you can't trust anything you remember.Introduce Supafly to FredDid we somehow forget to mention the don't fuck with Fred clause to Dio?
>>2892318no we didn’t tell dio about fred>>2891592>take dio from Fred, leave. when out of eye sight and earshot, slap the sobriety into Dio
>>2892288>>2892475There is no way any of this is going to make sense even as a hallucination and I know better than to think we are capable of slapping a god into it's polar opposite. Maybe take Fred into the kitchen for some snacks to send back, have W cast some weird illusion magic to make it not like we have a backyard full of drunken teenagers, and talk supafly into using that military helicopter to do stunts for Fred's kid's birthday party (which is totally next week) to make up for him not being invited to this party. There is too much stuff we don't want Fred to get caught up in going on right now.
>>2892495I agree. He hasn’t pulled out the worst parts of his portfolio, but Dio’s capricious and irresponsible. Slapping him sounds like a terrible counterproductive idea.In theory, could we even take him out if we started shit? Mary was most of our real fighting strength against super scary folks.
>>2892717>In theory, could we even take him out if we started shit?Hmm. That's an interesting thought experiment.I didn't think about this when he first walked into the quest, but Dionysus' a hard counter to the MC's forces. Even if his 'this party is now a mad orgy' powers are vastly reduced since he's not in Greece, even if he only gets a few people who are halfway there already, he could still absolutely swing the fight with that. (Or just turn the fight into something different.) There's also the problem of Bernie's group, Ellie's group, and Superfly's group being mixed into the party as well, and there's no guarantee any of them would fight with the MC.
>>2892854Supposing shit went south and we had to fight Dio for whatever reason, Dio would win easily. He only needs to ramp up to twelve Liska, Melon, Ellie and Haru's nobs and half of our fighting force will be diverted to trying to control some horny superpowered beings. He can also sober up W and her daughter, so they will be mostly under powered and i suppose he can do the opposite to the rest of the people here.It wouldn't be pretty.
>>2891592>>Jesus Christ, I can't let Marlene see you like this. You can sober up over here, but the dog has to stay in the front yard
>>2892717Mary's strength could be made up for via unlocking the limit breakers the regular contracts have in them. Maybe not all the way but enough of the way for the group as a whole to restrain Mary if she's having some sort of God-high episode.
>>2894657While I'm loathe to suggest even more characters, A contract lawyer (mundane or not) would be useful if we want to get into the weeds with the contracts. Making sure we can properly unravel the existing contracts without breaking our girls or drawing the rat's attention, and replace the contracts with more favorable ones is a risky proposition without a professional. A screw up could cost us dearly.
>>2891592'When I was your age'? Fred's millenia younger than Dionysus."Not like I really need it, though," Fred tells you, as Dionysus slaps him on the back, "every time I poke my head over the fence you're having some sort of grillout or crazy party! I just wish the folks in Timmy's little league were like this! We're not," he says, and gives a half-smile and a wink, as he pulls back on his dog's leash, "very friendly after games."You have a stupid impulse to grab him by the collar and tell him EXACTLY how friendly this group of people is."Hopefully you're at least good sports," you say, "thanks for returning this guy - he's a new client, and, well, you know how that goes.""Don't I just," Fred says, and laughs as he and Dionysus sort of disentangle from each other, and Dionysus trips over the taught leash of Fred's dog and half stumbles up to support himself against your backyard gatepost."You good to go back home?" you ask Fred, "if you need to sober up before Marlene sees you, you can stay here for a bit.""I'm not that gone," Fred tells you, "besides, I think my dog's smelling your foxes, and I'm having some trouble holding him. Hope you guys have a good night," he says, waving one hand, before his dog tries bounding forward, and he suddenly grabs the leash with both hands to pull the beast back, "Onassis, right?" he asks Dionysus, who's now slouching against the backyard gate pole, "like the guy who picked up Jackie Kennedy?""Ari was my, uh," Dionysus says, and stroke his chin in a weirdly scholarly gesture, "n-teenth cousin, a fuckton removed. Or something like that. Greek families can get weird. You ever see that movie, what was it, the one with-?""About a wedding, right?" Fred asks him, walking backward and dragging his dog by main force and a choke chain, "think so. Good to meet you, Big O! Hopefully we'll party some other time."...That is a thing that needs to never, ever happen, you think, watching Frank pull his dog across your lawn as you breathe a sigh of relief."Let's get back inside," you say, and Dionysus detaches himself from the pillar while Fred make is back to the sidewalk.Then you shut the gate."Fun guy," Dionysus says, stretching himself, "we should have invited him in.""I did," you tell him, "he declined.""No," the god says, waving the empty handle around as he gestures, "you invited him in to sober up! I meant invite him in to tear it down! Rip it up! Get the action his wife's been denying him! Go wild! Hell, actually, let's just grab the whole block! What," he continues, looking at Rick and Jean, "are the cops gonna stop us?">Unlike you, I have to live here. I like my house in one piece>The reason I can run effective parties is that I don't attract too much attention>So I take it you had a fun walk with Fred?>You were saying something about having stuff to toast a new goddess with?>WRITE IN
>>2894716>>Unlike you, I have to live here. I like my house in one piece>>The reason I can run effective parties is that I don't attract too much attentionI would be ok with him leaving and never coming back. He's a major destabilizing force of our already unstable crew.
>>2894716>Unlike you, I have to live here. I like my house in one piece>You were saying something about having stuff to toast a new goddess with?
>>2894716>Unlike you, I have to live here. I like my house in one piece>The reason I can run effective parties is that I don't attract too much attention>You were saying something about having stuff to toast a new goddess with?
>>2894688We already did that part. We just weren't testing the theoretical new contracts out because we were trying to lay low and pretend we're totally innocent if Freeble's boss stopped by after we killed that Duke. Now that Mary turned into a god there's no reason to hold back since their oversight committee is complete and utter ass in addition to there being no possible excuse we could give for Mary managing to hoard that much power when we've been cooking the books. It's actually more prudent to do so before any of them with a brain think it's safer to detonate the girls remotely or stops to wonder why the hell Freebles didn't deposit any of that Hell Duke mana. It was one of the topics that we were (or at least I was) about to bring up since it seemed like it was safe to think an audit wasn't coming. Mary went full god before we could even discuss the first topic. It's also bad timing to power Melon up since we don't need a horny half fox to gain enough power to actualy restrain everyone.>Unlike you, I have to live here. I like my house in one piece>The reason I can run effective parties is that I don't attract too much attention>How about this, let's get Supafly wasted enough to use his choppa and team as entertainment at Timmy's children's birthday party that sound like fun?>You were saying something about having stuff to toast a new goddess with?
>>2894785>>2894716Forgot to link the suggestions
>>2894716"Unlike you," you say, "I have to live here. I like my house in one piece.""Oh come on," Dionysus says, putting a hand on your shoulder, "it would be awesome! The block party to end all block parties!""And I'd have to clean it up," you tell him, as you feel an arm settle on your other shoulder."Honey," Liska asks you, "is that dog gone?""Fred was out walking his dog," you say, "he brought a guest back to us.""I do kind of like Fred," she tells you, "Marlene's a bit uptight, but still a decent sort."'A bit uptight' on her scale right now is meaningless."The key is," Dionysus says, continuing the earlier conversation, "that if you run the party long enough, you never have to clean it up. Eat. Sleep. Rave. Repeat!""The key is that you don't draw too much attention," you tell him, "so you can party another day.""See," he says, grinning, "I'm a god."Then it hits you.A vision of the ensuing party. Of you, under a pile of nubile flesh, women and girls working themselves on you, over you, guys and monsters working their other ends, a debauched lord of a pleasurable kingdom. Then the hair colors - several shades of gold, blue, red, black, white, brown, and, horrifyingly, the faces come into focus. You grit your teeth and do SOMETHING.The image dissipates, to the sound of Dionysus' laughter, and you feel Liska's arm heavy on your shoulders - she's almost hanging off of them.You glance around for a second. Jean's slumped against the wall of your house, Rick trying to hold her up as he stares at the god with murder in his eyes. Kelly's standing tall, smoking. James appears to be bracing himself against your fence and muttering."Freud would have a fucking field day with you," you tell Dionysus as he leans back against the wall, and he laughs even harder."So what did YOU see?" he asks, still chortling slightly, "it's different for everyone. Surprised you pulled out so fast - it might not be what you really want, but it's at least something you've thought of. And something you could have.""I am going to kill this bastard," Liska whispers to you, as she seems to come around, and stands up a bit, teeth bared."He's still our guest," you whisper back, and put your arm around her, "might not be for much longer.""I saw every stray thought that's gone through my head and I've rejected," you tell the god, "so do you you want to toast a new goddess with all that good shit you had earlier, or do you want to swill cheap vodka and wave your cock at me?""And this," he says, spreading his arms in a gesture your theatre teacher would have approved of, only intensified by the empty handle of something awful in one hand, "is the fun part. I'd like to do both, really. And make the party you all envisioned a reality, too.">Let's just do the toast>Compromise: we do the toast, and you can get Superfly and his crew slammed>You had the right idea when you took a walk. Get out>Tell me that only hit us here in the side yard>WRITE IN
>>2895149>Write-inFUCK IT LETS DO THIS D. ONASSISI just want this to end. Only to wake up again.
>>2895149>Let's just do the toast
>>2895149>>Tell me that only hit us here in the side yard>>my answer is no, and I would hope you're not so impatient as to ruin the surprise we have for your father, because you are awful fucking close.
>>2895149>>You had the right idea when you took a walk. Get outJust go away, please. No one wants you here.>>2895184>I just want this to end. Only to wake up again.We have too many barbeques, and they always seem to take forever. But we keep voting for them, so I guess it's just they way things are
>>2895149>Let’s just do the toast>murder in his eyes>I am going to kill this bastardWe weren’t the only person that saw something they didn’t like>every stray thought that’s gone through my head and I’ve rejectedIs this a metaphor for votes and chatter in the threads about banging everyone?
>>2895149>>You had the right idea when you took a walk. Get outDon't let the door hit you on the way out.
>>2895194>We have too many barbequesThey seems like a reasonable dadly way of bringing the cast together when necessary. Originally, this night was for talking strategy, introducing Reynold to the magical world, and trying the Ellie-summoning experiment. It got a bit out of control.>they always seem to take foreverEverything take forever now. My posting speed has crashed over the past month.>>2895195>Is this a metaphor for votes and chatter in the threads about banging everyone?If I said yes, would you say it was heavy-handed?Luckily, I think we're over that (for the most part) by now.
>>2895149>You already overstayed your welcome here. Get out.
>>2895149>Let's just do the toast>Don't push it, it's still my house, my rules
>>2895223>I think we're over thatIt's sadly never over. We're just in a lull. Give it a little longer and anons will be back at it again.
Next post highly delayed due to personal reasons.Highly ironic that I'm giving advice to a family member, while writing a quest about giving advice to family members, while being a person who's definitely unqualified to give advice.
>>2895669Did you just trigger the imouto route?
>>2895149>Think of a party elsewhere that can distract him. Maybe a sports event of some type?(Is Dio why white people riot all the time?)
>>2895149>Tell me that only hit us here in the side yard
>>2895149> What's a party without a fistfight?Punch a God. It's cool, no powers, just a dust-up. Using magic or powers would ruin the "theme" of a fistfight at a party.
GUYSDionysus also has origins in death and re-birth, as well as the underworld. Did anyone else know about this or is this just an overwhelming coincidence?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5brAr51ip_k
May run tomorrow, but I'm having trouble counting:Get out:>>2895191>>2895194>>2895201>>2895318Maybe: >>2896831 ?Do the toast:>>2895190>>2895195>>2895341Maybe: >>2895191 ?>>2895887>Did you just trigger the imouto route?Hell no.>>2898882He's made some remarks alluding to that. But he seems to have more fun being a jackass.
>>2898882This sounds familiar. Resurrection, living among humans before ascending, collecting followers while on earth, creating wine or grapes, tangled with established authorities, sometimes violently, followers were suppressed and formed a mystery cult that spread and got accepted, and are based in/on earlier religious traditions. And the first thing onlookers said at Pentecost was ‘these guys are drunk’.Some of those are stretching a bit, but Dionysus sounds a lot like Jesus.
>>2895149>Let's just do the toast>Tell me that only hit us here in the side yard
>>2895149>>You had the right idea when you took a walk. Get outWe have a hard enough time keeping things together without a litteral God of wine and madness hanging around.
>>2899392There is that legend where he got pissed off when told to leave by a king, so he drove the queen and princesses insane and they killed the king.Having him stay seems a little less dangerous.
>>2898443>>2899392Greek gods are specifically known for being the poorest losers at anything of all the gods. You don't make him leave. You make him think he wants to leave. He said he has a party radar. Ask Bernie to exploit that.
>>2899486This IS a better idea.
>>2899392Just let the guy have a party. He is a client.
Hmm. Well, if I start again now, I get about four hours.Unfortunately, I had a mostly-written post on the 'do the toast' before I got that call Sunday night.I think I'm seeing "get lost" winning here?Time to start from scratch.Should start a new thread, for the next update, whether it's tomorrow or tonight, since this one's on page 9.
>>2900764>I think I'm seeing "get lost" winning here?Looks like, though only by a thin margin.
>>2900764I’m for>Do the toastThough I could go either way if it comes down to it.
Guys, I just realized that Kelly and Rick completely tanked that psychic attack, and it just pissed Liska off that someone messed with her like that (hormonal mood swings are good for something, I guess?). Dio’s not in Greece. Bernie might help us, and he could be a dragon that’s supposed to kill a much tougher god. If Rick can take it, the other demons and a half might too, even at full strength. We don’t know what Supahfly’s team is, or if it even works on fae.We might have a fighting chance against this guy, if we have to go for it.
>>2900764Sorry haiku i havnt voted. Iwannatoaast!
>>2901039Maybe so, but the dadly thing is to consider collateral damage. That fight isn't ending without setting off a suburban riot.>>2900788Extremely thin since my "get lost" (maybe) vote isn't a vote to actually tell him that so much as a trick him into doing so vote and I've got at least one other anon to agree with my plan.
>>2901039That's a terrible plan. Also Dio is a client.
>>2901039>We might have a fighting chance against this guy, if we have to go for it.If we must, it's good to know we could defend ourselves. But we don't have a reason to dust up with him otherwise.
>>2901508>>2901457>>2901234>>2901039Random thought but I think we can trick him into going away by having him set up a nightclub downtown with the concept of he can party all day and all night in his club without any real collateral damage like he will if he tries to do it in our house/neighborhood.
>>2901870That'll get rid of him in the short term only. We don't really want him around at all. He's an actively destabilizing element.
>>2900764>>You had the right idea when you took a walk. Get out
>>2902261New thread, if anyone missed it.