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File: Yes, I'm the Father.jpg (765 KB, 1800x1200)
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They said the teenage years would be hard. You don't think they were talking about what you're going through. Well, those books on parenting said it would kind of suck, but not like this.

They never said they'd be this hard. They never said you'd find out your daughter was a magical girl, entangled in a contract with magic rats to kill demons or die. Or become a monster. They never said you'd find out your wife was a fox bride. They never said you'd get your soul auctioned off in Hell. or that your sister would buy it and release it. They never said you'd have to form a coalition of other fathers, wizards, 1.5 demons, and a ton of magical girls to fight an apocalypse.

Talking about drugs and guys is pretty normal for having a teenage daughter, but hanyou/half-kitsune heat cycles driving her to put a shotgun to your head?

Fuck it, you're going to start using those parenting books to light your grill.

Thing were simple when finding out Melon (your daughter) was a magical girl just meant grabbing your shotgun and fighting demons for her. They got very complicated very fast.

It's probably not worth trying to think through all the steps of how you ended up hugging your wife and daughter on your living room floor, in a pile of their fluffy ears and tails.

Or why you just had a call with your rather panicked brother-in-law, Sachio, asking for advice because "you're not in heat, or in rut, and you're family, so you're better than all my other options." Seems like it's mating season, and he's done something rather stupid with a shrine maiden who mediated between the supernatural and the people a bit too personally.

You told him it was between him and her, and he cut the call after his sister made a joke about it after you put the call on speakerphone.

And Melon's complaining she didn't even get to say 'hi' to her uncle.

"That's his fault for hanging up," Liska tell her, your wife's tails waving graciously over the three of you.

"I still wanted to say hello to him, at least!" Melon says.

"You seem to be doing a bit better, Melon," you tell her.

"I'd be doing even better if you rubbed my ears, dad," she says, looking at you with pupils you could swear have hearts in them.

"Maybe my tail, too, or even..." she sighs huskily, and then seems to snap out of it: "mom," she says, suddenly looking up at Liska, "you're right, I'm losing my mind."

That was rather evident when she held you up with your own shotgun.

"I know," Liska says gently, "I'm sorry."

"I think it's bedtime - for everyone," you say, giving both of them a squeeze before managing to lever yourself off the floor. Christ, what Liska did to you this morning still hurts.

"Please tell me it's going to be in the same be-" Melon starts to say, then claps a hand over her mouth, her cheeks going incredibly red.
>>
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>>2831745
Your mind momentarily bluescreens. That's something you'd never contemplate.

"Hell," Liska tells her,and kisses her on the cheek, "you've got it bad. You're going to your own room - even I've got limits. Don't take that as a challenge, please," she finishes, getting up as well, and extending one hand down to help her daughter up.

"I can't believe I said that," Melon says, as she takes Liska's hand, panting, then looks at you, "dad, I..."

"You are in dead heat," Liska tells her, "for the first time, and that's probably not the craziest thing you're going to say."

"I didn't mean it, dad," Melon says, looking at you, and then Liska, "mom. Fuck, this is worse than when I hugged grandma."

"I know," Liska says, hugging her daughter, then puts her mouth to an ear, "it's awful the first time. Go to your room."

You resist the urge to hug your daughter after she disentangles herself from Liska.

That seems like it would be counterproductive.

She heads down the hallway.

"I still love you," you tell her, and she pauses and looks back at you, "you're always going to be my daughter, and I'm always looking out for you," you say.

"Five bucks she jumps you just for saying that," Liska whispers with a truly awful grin on her face.

Melon takes a DEEP breath, and lets it out very slowly.

"Thanks, dad," she says, before darting into her room. You hear a deadbolt slam.

And you turn back toward your wife.

>Liska, I think she's going to have to take a few sick days from school.
>Well, I'm glad you've at least got that limit.
>You think she can go back to school like that?
>Liska, should I just call Shelby over? I'm a little terrified.
>>
>>2831798
>Liska, I think she's going to have to take a few sick days from school.

Investing in soundproofing the walls might be a good idea too.
>>
>>2831798
>Liska, I think she's going to have to take a few sick days from school.
>A dumb question to bring up but, I don't suppose that we can get the others to help build a containment unit for times like this?
>>
>>2831798
As usual, there's always one more option: >WRITE IN

Twitter, for runtimes and stuff: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge
Archive, for anyone who wants to know how the fuck we got here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Shotgun
>>
>>2831813
...you know what, a literal sex dungeon/containment room wouldn't be a bad idea.
>>
>>2831798
>five bucks please
>I think she's going to have to take a few days off school
>Liska, should I just call Shelby over? I'm a little terrified.
>>
>>2831798
>Liska, I think she's going to have to take a few sick days from school.
>A dumb question to bring up but, I don't suppose that we can get the others to help build a containment unit for times like this?
Must protect her purity and maidenhood.
or make it cannon for melon to rape her dad at least for smutfags
>>
>>2831798
>>Liska, I think she's going to have to take a few sick days from school.
>>Well, I'm glad you've at least got that limit.
>>2831813
Some sort of containment does seem prudent, as on top of any fox powers she's picked up, she still has her MG powerset. And it'd be a pain to have to fix the house again.

>>2831824
We didn't actually take her up on it, unfortunately.
>>
>>2831843
we never said no to the bet.
>>
>>2831843
She called it and we never got the chance to say yes or no, plus it's funny
>>
>>2831798
>>Liska, I think she's going to have to take a few sick days from school.
>>
>>2831843
>as on top of any fox powers she's picked up
Wasn't the only real offensive power she picked up was the fox fire?
And even then there's probably some kind of inlaid riturals and magics that can seal off that kind of power while within it's vicinity.
>she still has her MG powerset.
And it's why I brought up last thread about asking Freebles about temporarily turning off her powers for a short period of time.
>>
>>2831798
>>I think she's going to have to take a few days off school
>>Liska, should I just call Shelby over? I'm a little terrified.
>>
>>2831861
We could try to stamp those seals/wards that get used the shrines. Although i don't know if those are to immobilize a person or just to seal power.
>>
>>2831798
>five bucks please
>I think she's going to have to take a few days off school
>A dumb question to bring up but, I don't suppose that we can get the others to help build a containment unit for times like this?
>>
>>2831798
>Give me a second; my mind needs to reboot
>About how long is that going to last? I think Kelly and W are the most likely to have a place to keep her under lockdown, but that thing's going to need serious reinforcement.
>>2831861
Dogs cancel out kitsune magic
>>2831877
Make her look like Aizen during the last arc with a muzzle.
>>
>>2831895
Random thought. Does Bernie have a spare vault that can contain her?
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>>2831900
we can teleport her to the containment room in japan, though. Bringing bernie in is not needed.
>>
>>2831798
"I think you owe me five bucks," you tell her.

"You do the finances," Liska says, smiling, and then a more sober expression crosses her face, "divert it from my 'makeup budget'. She's got far more self control than I did the first time. I'm really impressed."

That's probably a story you don't want to hear.

"She is my daughter, too," you say with a grin, and Liska laughs, "but I think she's going to have to take a few days sick away from school."

"Does stupid willpower run in your family?" Liska asks, her tongue flicking over her lips.

"Good possibility," you tell her, "I've had two people tell be I might have divine descent today."

"Ooh," Liska says, grabbing your tie, and pulling you toward her, "which one?"

"Venus," you tell her, "or Aphrodite. But I'm told it's a percentages game, because Aeneas was her descendant and Rome fucked most of the world."

Liska laughs.

"That would make a terrifying amount of sense," she says, "but you," and she sniffs you, running her nose up your neck, finishing with her tongue on your remaining earlobe, "smell like a human."

"And I'm guessing I smell good?" you ask, and she growls, pressing you back onto the couch, "but we really have to talk about taking Melon out of school on sick leave until this blows over."

"Yeah," Liska breathes into your ear, "we should definitely do that. There's only one problem - Melon and I would be in the house together, and I've got limits, but..."

You're guessing most normal conversations about puberty don't go quite like this.

"Sometimes," Liska says, grinding down on you, "I'd go for women when I was in heat, because they can't get me pregnant, but it sort of helps. This is the worst I've had it in a long time, and Melon's having her first one - guessing that's because the rats suppressed her hanyou side with their magic. I want to say we've both got self control, I want to say it wouldn't happen, I want to say I have limits," she says, her voice rising with every phrase, and then she leans down to whisper in your ear, pressing you further into the couch, "but I don't want to lie."

>Humor and board games seem to distract you, and we've got the camper crew on-site. They can supply both
>Did you just tell me you might fuck our own daughter?
>I've got wizards. Lockdown for both of you sounds good. I think they can do it
>You think I can't fuck you hard enough for you to stay rational for a day? Every morning
>This seems like it could cause problems at the barbecue
>Jesus, just keep it in your pants! Make Melon keep in hers! It's just a week
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2831960
>This seems like it could cause problems at the barbecue.
>Problematic is an understatement now that I think about it. You're in heat, my daughter's in heat. daily sex won't satisfy you or her for at least 6 hours. Ellie's coming to the barbeque to pick up tickets. Melon and Shelby are probably gonna have their first time in a heat-fueled romp. And there's a high chance that Ellie is going to be summoned to this plane riding Haru like a Minotaur covered in blood and suggestive fluids. Dionysus is probably gonna take the Barbeque up to 11.
>And we're gonna need at least 3 designated sober and not horny people to run screen interference when Fred inevitably comes up to have another chat.
>Well, you have me, she's got Shelby. We'll have to find some way to make it work out.
>We might also need to make a run to that pharmacy store and buy at least 50 packets of condoms and 5 boxes of plan B. 10 boxes if Karen brings Angus along to the BBQ.
>>
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>>2831998
Voting period until I get four or five responses/votes, depending on spreads and ties between incompatible options, or until I get tired of waiting.

I'm hoping I didn't just torpedo this quest, because I kind of like it. This is unfortunately where we are for the moment, but Hell do I want to move on from it, although I can't see a good way to skip it, given the tension of the setup, and the people involved.We're doing magically-enhanced puberty shit with a terrible twist. That's sort of a dad thing, right?

I probably just killed this quest. I'm paying, with interest, for some earlier writing sins.

Jesus Christ, give me the votes so I can move the fuck on and get this over with.
>>
>>2832074
it could be that people are sleeping.
>>
>>2831916
Japan isnt an option atm because everyone is in heat and regime change stuff.
>>2831960
Things can only get worse at the barbecue. We need to find something to contain both of you before something happens. I'm calling for some help.
>At least you can write some smutty new books while in there?
>>
>>2831960
>Did you just tell me you might fuck our own daughter?
>I've got wizards. Lockdown for both of you sounds good. I think they can do it
>This seems like it could cause problems at the barbecue
>>
>>2832074
I think I'm gonna just sit this one out. I may chime in on occasion, but the current plot line is grating against my personal values enough that it's not really fun to play right now.
Heh, anon has strong-ish morals. That's a first.

>>2831960
Let's take a look at our options...
>Humor and board games seem to distract you, and we've got the camper crew on-site. They can supply both
Probably not gonna work. Also, requires people distracting her all day.
>Did you just tell me you might fuck our own daughter?
Yes.
>I've got wizards. Lockdown for both of you sounds good. I think they can do it
Might actually work. Magic chastity belts, anyone?
>You think I can't fuck you hard enough for you to stay rational for a day? Every morning
Pfft. Don't make me laugh. This isn't that kind of story, or this wouldn't be a problem.
>This seems like it could cause problems at the barbecue
...Yah think?
>Jesus, just keep it in your pants! Make Melon keep in hers! It's just a week
This is like humor and board games, but less effective and worse.
>>
>>2831960
Hey QM, I've got a question.
How does heat work for magical creatures? Is it just neurotransmitters and hormones like anything else, or is there a magical component to it?
Either way, I'm sure one of the wizards could hack together a magical biochemistry nightmare to postpone or reduce the effects of heat.
>>
>>2831960
>I've got wizards. Lockdown for both of you sounds good. I think they can do it
>You think I can't fuck you hard enough for you to stay rational for a day? Every morning
this is not safe.
>>
>>2831960
>I've got wizards. Lockdown for both of you sounds good. I think they can do it
Black Snake Moan?
Black Snake Moan it is.
>>
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>>2832083
I'm comparing the ~9 votes in half an hour for the OP vs. the 1 response in the same timeframe for this one. So unless everyone went to bed in the past hour...
>>2832109
>the current plot line is grating against my personal values enough that it's not really fun to play right now.
To be honest, that's a part of the reason (with the addition of some situational and personal factors) this quest has been dormant for several days. I really didn't feel like writing this. It's an unfortunately logical conclusion to a number of things I've done or said, and I'm paying for my writing sins with interest, because due to the lead-up tension and the characters involved, I don't think I can just skip out on dealing with it.Although I can argue that, like many things in this quest, it's a magically-exaggerated facet of raising a teenager.
Have I finally let you down, GirlTalkAnon? Also, I'm interested in what those previously mentioned 'personal values' are. I will note that everyone involved in the damn 'mating season' shit is doing their damndest to either resist, avoid, mitigate, or channel into something decent what's happening to them.
Are you actually just voting for all the options?
>Probably not gonna work. Also, requires people distracting her all day.
I will note that's what Liska was doing yesterday, and humor has very consistently distracted all the foxes from everything else.
>>2832116
>How does heat work for magical creatures?
I plead the King Crimson Defence, pic related.
>Is it just neurotransmitters and hormones like anything else, or is there a magical component to it?
I'm shrugging hard on that. I don't know myself. There's definitely some magic shit going on for the fox/human cycle overlap (because it couldn't work, otherwise).
>>
>>2831960
>Did you just tell me you might fuck our own daughter?
It this point, it's clear she's not in her right mind. We might consider simply considering her insane for the duration of the heat, and act accordingly.
>>I've got wizards. Lockdown for both of you sounds good. I think they can do it
>>
>>2831960
>I've got wizards. Lockdown for both of you sounds good. I think they can do it
>You think I can't fuck you hard enough for you to stay rational for a day? Every morning
>>
>>2832201
So you're saying that locking them in a room with a TV or monitor playing nonstop david chapelle is the answer?
>>
>>2832309
I can dig it.
But what's wrong with Robin Williams?

>>2832201
That reminds me, is Robin Williams alive in this setting?
>>
>>2832309
Make them play WOW, or overwatch or farmville with unlimited credits. that always works.
>>
>>2831960
>>You think I can't fuck you hard enough for you to stay rational for a day? Every morning
>I've got wizards. Lockdown for both of you sounds good. I think they can do it
>>
>>2832201
>I really didn't feel like writing this.
Hell, I really don't feel like reading this, so take it as an indicator that something's wrong.
I think you're suffering from tone shift - we started out on a drastically different tone and theme than where we are now, and the whiplash is finally catching up.
It may also be that there's way too many characters with only bit parts that have ballooned far beyond where they should, and it's draining to wade through all of it.
>Have I finally let you down
Not especially. I'm still looking forward to getting back to the original tone of the quest; that was some good stuff, and what originally got me interested in the quest.
>GirlTalkAnon
Am I that transparent? I didn't even announce myself.
>personal values
I'm not gonna say much, in the interest of preserving my anonymity, but I have a really weird mix of strong religious convictions and a penchant for certain aspects of BDSM.
Essentially, I'm kinky as fuck, but also /fiercely/ monogamous.
It's why I didn't like the Ellie arc, and why I'm not particularly a fan of fucking other people with Liska. It also ties in with the whole MadAboutGirlTalk thing - most portrayals of the subject (in my regular reading, at least) usually mix in a /stunning/ amount of casual disrespect for one's partner, which ticks off both sides of my values something fierce.
> I will note that everyone involved [...] is doing their damndest
Yeah, you've been fairly good about playing this somewhat upbeat, or at least not going full >NTR Quest about it.

>Are you actually just voting for all the options?
Just commenting, to hopefully spark discussion. If you want a vote out of that mess, I'd have to go with
>I've got wizards

>has very consistently distracted all the foxes from everything else
Okay, so magical foxes are weak to Humor types, got it.

>I'm shrugging hard on that.
I asked because it makes the difference between just doping her up on hormone suppressants and needing an actual wizard involved.
>>
>>2832322
That gives her ways to be lewd stream across the internet.
>>
>>2832362
Note to self - condense your linebreaks.
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>>2832363
Maybe for liska, but it seems that Melon hasw a better self control.
>>
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>>2831960
"Then don't," you say, staring up into her eyes.

"I'm giving you the worst case," Liska says, "hopefully it would never come down to that. Or do you think you can't satisfy me?"

"I think I'd rather be safe than sorry," you tell her, as she presses you down onto the couch, "you said something about isolation and containment for the first time? I've got wizards. And magical lockdown for both of you sounds pretty good right now."

"So we are trying bondage again," Liska growls, smiling down at you.

"If that's the term you want to use," you say, "hell, we're having a barbecue tomorrow, with probably everyone, and Ellie, and maybe a Greek god of death, madness, and drunkenness, and you just implied you might jump Melon! Look, I think it's probably for the best."

"You got me going this morning," Liska whispers, dangerously, "and I spent the day discussing literature, playing games, having a few laughs, and only bailed when you got here. Frustrating, but fine. Having both Melon and I going - that's the real problem here. You can satisfy me, but there's no way in hell I'd let you satisfy her. Or that you'd let yourself do it. I want to say I wouldn't either, but I might - if she comes on first, and I'm in a bad place at the moment. You may be right about the lockdown. But, can you trust me, can you trust us, for a day? See how it works out?"

"I might be able to help you out with it," you say, pushing Liska aside and sitting beside her on the couch, an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close, "but given what we saw from Melon ten minutes ago - and I can't help with that."

"You really are looking out for her," Liska says, with a gentle smile.

"Don't sound surprised," you tell her, and she laughs.

"I heard how Sachio's tearing himself up about things," she says, putting her arm around you, "and I don't want Melon's first to be in heat. Or for it to be with me, Jesus! I can probably hold her off and hold her down if she tries anything, but there is a really a thin line between violence and sex."

"I'm guessing that's what all your novels are based on?" you ask, "lockdown would give you time, and an attitude to pump out another couple one of them."

"Fuck," Liska says, "you're right. I probably should be writing like this, or at least putting down concepts. It's what my readers want, anyway. But," she continues, looking into your eyes, "I want you to trust me. I want you to trust both of us. For a day. Before you get a wizard to shackle us. I can teach Melon what I know about fighting it, about dealing with it. About distracting myself from it. Please, trust me."

>I'm calling a wizard
>I... trust you. But if things get fucky tomorrow, call me
>I trust you
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2832372
>>I trust you. But if things get fucky tomorrow, call me
>>
>>2832372
>>I trust you
Then kiss her deeply and lovingly.
>>
>>2832372
>I trust you. But if things get fucky tomorrow, call me
>Freebles, is it possible to temporarily turn of Marion's MG aspect for a period of time?

If the Rats can cut the contracts then it would give the possibility of minor control concerning them. Much like being maintenance at a power plant and such.
>>
>>2832372
>I trust you. But if things get fucky tomorrow, call me
>Freebles, is it possible to temporarily turn of Marion's MG aspect for a period of time?

Seconding
>>
>>2832377
Supportan
>>
>>2832389
*off
FUCKING DAMN IT!
I must lrn2write better.
>>
>>2832372
>>2832389
I'll back this as well.
>>
>>2832369
That lasts until a guy says show me your tits.
>>2832372
I'm trusting you, but i'm trusting you with everything you said. We're setting up a backup plan. and either of you need to use it when you feel like you're going to lose control.
>>
>>2832372
>I trust you. But if things get fucky tomorrow, call me
>Freebles, is it possible to temporarily turn of Marion's MG aspect for a period of time?
>>
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>>2832362
>I think you're suffering from tone shift
This quest has a terminal case of tone shift. Unfortunately, sometimes the tone gets locked due to what's going on.
>I'm still looking forward to getting back to the original tone of the quest
What tone would you say that was, or what parts of this quest exemplify it?It would be nice to have a sort of baseline to try and go back to, after this blows over a bit.
>Am I that transparent? I didn't even announce myself.
You have a recognizable way of phrasing things in writing, and a recognizable set of opinions. Your posts are not hard to pick out at this point, particularly because you bother to engage me in discussion, so I've gotten a good feel for it.
>really weird mix of strong religious convictions and a penchant for certain aspects of BDSM
I respect preserving your anonymity, but as someone who sailed out of a very conservative protestant christian island (against which I bear no ill will and a lot of gratefulness - it's why I know as much as I do about multiple mythologies and read half the stuff I know about - I was very deliberately educated), and whose father was a pastor, I am interested in hearing about it. I'm also interested in what facets of BDSM you're into, so I can cater harder. There's some really interesting crossover between those two things, too.
>ticks off both sides of my values something fierce
I think my former religious background has heavily influenced the 'saying you are tempted to/interested in doing the thing is NOT the same as really going for it' which underlies a lot of Liska's statements. I'm really not a fan of Matthew 5:28, because I think that attitude leads to people hiding things from each other, instead of saying "I'd fuck her/him, but I like being with you, so let's just talk about doing that".
>playing this somewhat upbeat
As some anon noted in the last thread, dealing with the interpersonal relationships is a lot harder than fighting demons. I don't think Liska's saying "leave for work, and I'll fuck our daughter", I think she's being honest enough with herself and the MC to say that's a possibility in this case, not necessarily a probability.It was a VERY vulnerable moment for her to reveal that, which is why I played 'lockdown' as a much milder option than was stated.
>>
>>2832428
implying you'd let her with a microphone, or a camera or her cellphone. The worst she could do would be dirty talk in chaturbate, watch porn, or ( . ) ( . )
>>
>>2832462
You're a silver daddy. You don't understand modern technology and you certainly aren't going to check her butt for microphones.
>>
>>2832467
apparently we have played (and like) doom and have a smartphone. We might be old, but we surely know enough about modern technology to understand how it works...more or less.
>>
>>2832484
The phone is already inside and awaiting incoming calls and texts.
>>
>>2832467
The QMC is a solid GenXer. He was a marine during the Gulf War in '90-'91. Was a college student during the mid-90s where he got a Bachelors (if not Masters considering Melon's age) in Business. He is no CompSci major but he is tech literate.
>>
>>2832494
Unless its inside melon's vagina, we can find it.
>>
>>2832372
>>I'm calling a wizard
After the lack of self control she's shown so far, I can't trust her with this.
>>
>>2832450
>as someone who sailed out of a very conservative protestant christian island
You've mentioned something like that before, it's why I haven't pushed to hard on "there's a Hell, where's Heaven?" thing, and avoided bringing morality into things as much as possible, though I am still interested.
>>
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>>2832372
You can see in her eyes that she's just bared more before you just now than she ever did naked in your bed.

And her dress is only a bit ripped.

"I do," you say, as you did when giving your wedding vows, "I trust you," then you lean over and kiss her.

Eventually you somehow manage to pull back.

Liska nestles her head on your shoulder, "let me tell you a secret," she says, almost panting, "telling a woman you trust her, that you understand, even just that you care, and listening to her - that's hotter than almost anything else you could do."

"Why did you bother saying 'a woman'?" you ask with a wink, "when we both know it's just you," and she giggles, "but, well, there are a lot of things you've said I could be trusting you about."

"Saying I would or might do something doesn't mean I will," she whispers, throwing a leg over you, and you feel her weight bear down on your hips as her tails wave behind her, "I'm just being honest. Although some of those things might seem like a much better idea right now, I'm still in control."

"Are you going to be all of tomorrow?" you ask, managing to plant a foot and bear her down onto the couch under you, "if things get fucky," you say, looking down into her eyes, "call me. Please."

"That's a good backup plan," she says, "W could teleport here. Although I think Madison would try to turn me into a cinder before that's necessary."

"Could she?" you ask.

"No," Liska says, "but it would make me think twice. Twice is the most I'd need. Although I might try taking her in a fight before I thought the second time."

"I'd prefer to not do another round of remodeling," you say, and Liska laughs.

"I don't want to either," she says, grinning, "although that was fun. But I know what I do want."

"And what's that?" you ask.

"A World Fantasy Award would be nice," she says, a smile on her face, "a Hugo would be awesome, but I'd have to switch genres. You know what I want, you rogue!" she tells you, pulling you down on top of her.

Well, she's a lot more decisive than when picking a restaurant. And the 'food' is really good at this one.

"I'm more concerned about Melon," Liska finally says, lying atop you on the couch about an hour later, after a rather hard mutual workout, "I'll try talking to her about it tomorrow. About holding it in. And I'll definitely call you if things go the wrong direction."

"Please call me before they go the wrong direction," you tell her, "and I'm concerned about her, too. This seems more like scaled-up teenage boy puberty than anything those parenting books said about girls."

A muffled yelp echoes down the hallway from Melon's room.

"I rest my case, your honor," you tell Liska, and she barks a laugh.

"We should probably burn those," she tells you, "they really aren't going to help us here."

>Are you really sure you can hold it back? And get Melon to hold it?
>Should I just call Shelby and tell him to bring a fifty-pack of condoms?
>I'm still glad I married you
>WRITE IN
>>
I hate to sound rude, but please tell me that once this arc is done, we can get back to working out the contracts and fighting demons? This is starting to get uncomfortable in my opinion.

I mean, we've now got Dionysis in town, despite what he may be a god of, maybe it wouldn't hurt to hear his thoughts on the girls, their abilities, contracts, and what we can do to help them? I mean, he's a literal god, and probably the most powerful entity currently on the board.

Right now, I feel like he's really the only link we've got that could get us back on track to the main plot of finding and stopping the apocalypse, and killing Rat God
>>
>>2832558
>>I'm still glad I married you
>>
>>2832558
>>I'm still glad I married you
>>
>>2832558
>Should I just call Shelby and tell him to bring a fifty-pack of condoms?
This is probably the safer option.
>>
>>2832590
Nah. Shelby wont be there for her all the time, and liska said that it was a bad idea that her firat time should be while she is on heat
>>
>>2832555
I admit, that's part of the reason I've avoided approaching that side of things, even though I've walked away. Although Yahweh does REALLY like working through rather normal humans. Or all of us, if you go full-on Calvinist. I think the quote from my father was "if you try to fit divine sovereignty and human responsibility together, your mind is going to look like one of those battered train cars they put coal into".
Hell, if you want to see me struggle to square my faith with the world, and with my love of classic rock, and with questing, while I would still have called myself a Christian, go read Rock Quest: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Rock%20Quest
>>2832566
>despite what he may be a god of, maybe it wouldn't hurt to hear his thoughts on the girls
Did the MC actually invite him to the barbeque? I don't think so, but my memory is sometimes addled these days.
>>
>>2832558
>>I'm still glad I married you
>>
>>2832599
please put down the bottle.
>>
>>2832558
I'm still glad I married you
Mybe our girl can start making fanfics on the Internet and pour out her fuck me silly mood right now?
>>
>>2832450
>What tone would you say that was, or what parts of this quest exemplify it?
The early points of the quest were pretty fast-paced, almost meme-level dad-ly action. Obviously, you've got the whole 'out of our depth' thing going on here, so that's difficult to return to, but I think it really set the tone for the whole quest.
At this point, I think the whole 'out of our depth' thing is what's killing the quest - there's a lot of undertones of crushing despair and defeat, and the original feel of player agency is pretty much lost. The fight against Demon McMary'sLunch really exemplified that - it was anticlimactic as fuck, and it really damaged the tone of the quest.
Obviously, take this all with a grain of salt.

>You have a recognizable way of phrasing things in writing
I suppose I do, at that. Neat.
>sailed out of a very conservative protestant christian island
I honestly can't tell if this is supposed to be literally sailing away from a physical island, or a metaphor. Either way, I'm sorry to hear you fell away from the faith and I'll leave it at that.
>interested
I'm don't really want to get into it here, but I am of a quite similar theological bent as you were, just without the whole 'sailing away' thing.
>facets of BDSM you're into
Honestly, it's mostly about the power dynamic; femdom is anathema to me, and I happen to quite like maledom. I'm a pretty vanilla sort of person aside from the pervasive undercurrent of D/s; the rest of the acronym just sorta comes along by association.
>cater harder
Well, this is new. I can honestly say you're the first (and probably only) person I know of to hear 'religion and BDSM' and not immediately start screeching about the fundies and abuse and the patRIEEEarchy.
>really interesting crossover between those two things, too.
Yeah, I redacted that out of my previous reply, but I find there's quite the compatibility between my religious convictions and my fetishes. There's a lot of poly and homosexual elements in BDSM /culture/ I'm sure you have the background to understand why that doesn't fly with me, but the core is pretty compatible.

I'm gonna have to call this part 1/2, as I'm running towards the character limit. Part 2/2 will be forthcoming when I finish catching up on the thread.
>>
>>2832599
...i think we did...maybe.
>>
>>2832599
Does he really care if he was invited?
>>
>>2832599
>Did the MC actually invite him to the barbeque?
he's the greek god of partiying, he's invited to every party ever by default
>>
>>2832599
>>2832617
I believe that so far we invited W, and said we would invite Kelly, or at least considered it.
>>
>>2832631
We told W and kelly. Not sure if we told Madison yet.
>>
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>>2832558
"They don't really have great advice for this, do they?" you ask, "but I'm still glad I married you."

"So am I," Liska says, her tails waving above the two of you, and goes silent, resting on top of you, her weight making it more difficult to lift your chest and breathe.

You lie there like that on the couch for a while. No TV. No conversation. Just listening to each other breathe, and the occasional yelp from down the hall that you try to not hear.

Well, at least your daughter's dealing with things herself. You've got to wonder how many times your parents knew you were taking far too long in the bathroom back in the day.

"They say girls go for guys like their fathers," Liska finally says, sliding down between you and the back of the couch, lying beside you, "but there's only one real point of resemblance I see here."

"What?" you ask, shifting slightly, and turning toward her.

"You'd probably burn as much of a country for Melon as dad did for Haru," she whispers in your ear, and before you can respond, she continues, "but I don't think you'd do it in the same way."

"I would hope not," you tell her, "you've seen what I do, even after getting into this ridiculous business. I'm not trying to kill people, do any of the stuff he did, or tear them apart."

"No," Liska says, shifting, and wrapping her arms around you on the couch, "you're trying to bring them together," she mumbles, nuzzling into your damaged ear, "I like that."

And you get your arm under her head, somehow.

"But I am planning to invade a country for her," you say, as she snuggles into you, "if the rats' pocket dimension counts as one. I don't know if it's going to be a conquest, a genocide, or just a leadership replacement."

"I," Liska says, sounding a bit more awake, "I vote for genocide. Although Freebles is pretty ok, even if he's got those delusions of being a yakuza. And hell, that's exactly what my father would have said, isn't it?"

"I'm getting out of here," Freebles says, worming his way out of your jacket pocket, and jumping off the couch, "before you two start the genocide by accidentally crushing me"

"Bro," you ask the ferret, "how much of our pillow talk have you heard?"

"Way too much," Freebles says, "Liska, I don't think you're serious about the genocide thing. But if you are, I'll back you."

"There's only one guy that gets to back me," she mutters at him.

"If anyone but my bro tried it," Freebles says, "I'd eat their kidneys. Probably their liver. Definitely the heart, too - those are very tasty. I'm taking the armchair."

>WRITE IN a question/conversational topic for Liska
>Fall asleep with her on the couch
>Freebles, you sound a little bloodthirsty lately
>Let's go to bed
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2832688
>Freebles, is it possible to temporarily turn off Marion's MG aspect for a period of time?
HAH HAH! WON'T CATCH ME THIS TIME MISTYPE!
>>
>>2832688
>>Let's go to bed
>>
>>2832688
>Freebles, you sound a little bloodthirsty lately
>>
>>2832688
> I think your guy's crazy is starting to get to me now. What do you think about inviting over Dionysus over to the BBQ tomorrow to get his two cents on the girls?
>Let's go to bed
>>
>>2832555
>there's a Hell, where's Heaven?
You raise an interesting point here; it's pretty rare to have a played-straight Heaven alongside Hell; you either run into pseudo-Catholic anime-style cosmology, or a "it's hell, but not really" ala nu-Doom.

>>2832599
>your mind is going to look like one of those battered train cars they put coal into
I dinna mean to start a theological fight here, but there's a certain level of hubris involved in the whole "we must understand everything" approach to religion that is common today. If you're going full-on Calvinist, trying to square things like predestination and omnipotence and free will is like trying to ask 'why is 465nm light /blue/?' There's a very significant, very explicit level of "you don't have the whole picture", what with the whole 'eternal God' and 'humans having an expiration date' thing.
Not trying to bash on your father here; I think he's quite correct, but is coming at it from the wrong angle. In my opinion, of course.

>>2832450
>I'm really not a fan of Matthew 5:28
Continuing under the previous 'not trying to start a kerfluffle', I'd have to disagree somewhat with you on this one. The bible is very consistent with the whole 'adultery is wrong, mmkay' and 'be content in your spouse' thing, and I'm sure you've seen enough slapstick comedy to get that fantasizing about cheating on one's spouse tends to be detrimental to the emotional health of the relationship.
>hiding things from each other, instead of saying "I'd fuck her/him, but I like being with you, so let's just talk about doing that".
And I think that's where you and I differ - obviously, bottling something up is not good for the health of the relationship, but I'd just leave it at "I'd fuck her/him, but I'm with you, so I'd rather fuck you."

>It was a VERY vulnerable moment for her to reveal that
I'm coming back to this old saw again, but here's yet another reason I keep reading - especially in the modern socio-political clime, this sort of vulnerability and openness between husband and wife is pretty rare. When it's not being used to play the man as an abuser of some sort, that is.

>>2832688
>Freebles, you sound a little bloodthirsty lately
>Let's go to bed
>>
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>>2832614
>a lot of undertones of crushing despair and defeat
How the hell did those sneak in?
>the original feel of player agency is pretty much lost
Huh. I remember folks calling me out for having too much player agency in early threads. Part of the problem with questing is that you never know how much agency you have. I'll rewrite entire posts to include a write in, if it seems good, but that's transparent to players (hopefully). Agency does decrease over time, since early threads defined characters, and now those characters are doing their own things, like Sue using the sword to share memories with her mother, for instance.
>The fight against Demon McMary'sLunch really exemplified that - it was anticlimactic as fuck, and it really damaged the tone of the quest.
I could have handled that better. I didn't.
>I'm sorry to hear you fell away from the faith
So am I, but I felt I had to. 'Island' was a metaphor. My family's sorry as well (they're still in, and I'm glad it sustains them). If you like my writing, I really do suggest you try Rock Quest, since I wrote it before I left the faith.
>>2832713
>"you don't have the whole picture"
I expressed it badly - that was EXACTLY the point he was making with that illustration: It's something incomprehensible, and even trying to fit it in your head (you won't succeed) doesn't work.
>I'd just leave it at "I'd fuck her/him, but I'm with you, so I'd rather fuck you."
That's where I am, but Liska's coming from a somewhat different perspective than I am. Part of it's conservation of detail as well.
My issue with Matthew 5:28 is with the generalized "even thinking/contemplating a sin is a sin", which is a usual interpretation of the passage (and consistent with Coveting being outlawed in the Ten Commandments). Frankly, that idea is part of the reason I bailed.
>modern socio-political clime
I write what I think makes some sort of sense, trying to be near life. Hell, Liska called out the 'three faces of Eve' as masks last thread. (And nobody called me out as being a feminist.)

Hell, you sound like fun to talk to. Message me your contact info on twitter or something - I usually use discord.
>>
>>2832555
Well if Dante's inferno is canon and actually considered accurate in this setting then heaven is literally in the heavens aka space. Limbo is a random island in the Pacific. (or Hawaii?)
>>
>>2832688
>Let's go to bed
I'd suggest doing something to Liska to maybe help her keep cool tomorrow but if Melon were to hear it i reck8n shit would go south real fast.
>>
On the topic of tone shift.

Early threads were funny, fast paced and full of action. The enjoyment came from being a character who, being a capable adult, saw how fucked up the MG premise was and fucked up the tropes by taking swift decisive action.

You then segued into political conflict with mages and bloated the cast, while adding so much detail to the setting that our MC had to stop and ask for advice at every turn. We've lost our focus, much like anyone who finds themselves unable to take action, and flee to our safe space, the grill. The plot is just moving sideways and most attempts at moving forward are met with the cast saying "no", "but" or interrupt us out of nowhere.

Also this nonstop shit about sex is getting old. You've gone far past the point you were trying to make. Yes, we're a married adult man, yes we fuck our wife. You went from a good household and healthy married relationship to something utterly dysfunctional that overstayed its welcome ages ago.

That guy isn't the only one with issues with how you try to fight your way out of the corner you wrote yourself into. You should have dropped all this talk about fucking the teenagers when the majority voted and argued against it. Not turn the wife into a hedonist who'd bring it up every thread to stir shit among the playerbase.

Also I can't be the only kissless, girlfriend-free virgin who has no clue what's going on or how to deal with it. You forget that your audience watches anime
>>
>>2832688
Fall asleep with her on the couch
>>
>>2832688
>Freebles, you sound a little bloodthirsty lately

>>2832759
I love this quest.
>>
>>2832824
Your overanalyzing this. You just know that Haiku is just waiting for anon to write smut for him to stop since he is also in heat. Hell Haiku segue into action immediately after presenting him 5 lewdbins from thread 7. Or was it 8?
>>
>>2832824
>Also this nonstop shit about sex is getting old.
>kissless, girlfriend-free virgin
that explains it
i'll admit, the >tfw no kitsune gf is real, but it's really not that bad
>>
>>2832759
>How the hell did those sneak in?
Beats me. I may be confusing anon chatter with the story, but there definitely was an undertone of everything being bigger than us, there's no way to make headway, etc...
>too much player agency in early threads
IIRC, that was when you were playing with letting anon control other members of the cast, which kinda runs against the premise of a quest.
>that's transparent to players (hopefully).
It's pretty transparent, and it's a really nice feature of the quest, especially for a narrative-heavy quest like this one.
>that was EXACTLY the point he was making with that illustration
Ahh, so he's one of /them/ too, is he? I jest, I jest.
>even thinking/contemplating a sin is a sin
...You're not one of those Wesleyan 'sinless perfection' types are you?
>Frankly, that idea is part of the reason I bailed.
Original sin is a hard pill to swallow, I'll give you that. I could probably sit and debate this with you for a while, but the character limit looms, and I said I'd drop it.
>three faces of Eve
So that's what that was about. I had dimly associated it with the Madonna/whore thing that keeps getting bandied about as an insult, but I figured it was some sort of religious reference I wasn't getting. 'Course, I've never actually looked into the Madonna/whore thing either, so I'm pretty consistently clueless.

>Message me your contact info on twitter or something - I usually use discord
Dinna have a twitter, but I do have a discord account I keep around for /qst/. Kick me an invite or something.
>>
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>>2832688
"Freebles," you say, looking up at the ceiling, "you sound a bit bloodthirsty lately. You threatened to eat my assistant's kidneys, too."

"You've seen me eat two of my own kind, bro," he tells you, probably from the armchair, "and I told you I was a salaryman - cannibalism comes naturally to me. When did you think I wasn't bloodthirsty?"

"I thought you looked kinda cute," Liska says from beside you, "he probably did too."

"Ok," Freebles says, "I look like a fuzzy, furry ferret. I look cute. I'm not. I was a fat guy in a tie in my last life. The rodent behavior factor (and the SHARP teeth) stacked on top of it just makes things worse. Did I mention I just advocated genocide for everyone like me, including myself?"

"That's pretty hardcore," Liska says.

"I believe you did," you say, "why?"

"I am a bastard," he tells you, and you tilt your head enough to see him standing on his hind paws on you armchair, "metaphorically - but I'm your bastard," he says, turning and flexing so you can see the tattoos, "and the rats I've cannibalized were worse than me. No worse than what Harriet's said I did in other timelines, no worse than what I'm capable of. We're all parasites. Maybe symbiotes at best, although the contracts make most of that a moot point."

Well, this is getting heavier than you'd anticipated.

"You haven't done it in this timeline," you say, "I think we've established you will die if you betray me. And I'd count you cutting any of the girls as utter betrayal."

"So would I," Freebles says, "and I think this magic," he says, rubbing the fighting dragons on his back fur, "would too. I'm not in this because of that, though," he tells you, turning to face you, "I'm loyal."

"You could cut all of them loose before it forced you to commit seppuku," Liska growls, half climbing over you to face Freebles.

"I said I wasn't in this because of the magic," Freebles says, staring her down, "please don't go after me like a fox after a rat. I'm not even in this to become the Rat God. There are far better candidates, like your husband."

"Why would I want to be the rat god?" you ask.

"You're a dad," Freebles says, "who better to give power to magical girls? But I'm not in this to make you the rat god, either, though you'd be a better one than me," he tells both of you, "I was in this because I was afraid. I was in this because I swore loyalty. I'm now in this because I love you both, because I love the girls, and because I love their families and don't want to see their daughters die or fall!"

You could swear you see a tear trickle from one of Freebles' eyes.

Liska springs at him, grabbing Freebles in her claws and taking a deep sniff.

[1/2]
>>
>>2832918
...Alright, this has been bugging me.
Who the hell looks at >pic related and thinks 'ferret'?
>>
>>2832918
Damn. Freebles must've seen some shit during the one month QMC was out in a coma.
>>
>>2832923
Me.
>>
Eh. the heat thing has simply overstayed it's welcome since it sets off everyone's uncomfortable magical realm furries alarm and keeps snowballing into a bigger problem as time goes along..
I say we come up with the excuse that they caught the Japanese Ebola virus and need to be quarantined while we had an innate immunity from a previous exposure. Other lesser characters get a little more screentime for a few sessions and then we don't have to deal with heat related illnesses for the rest of the quest.
Or we accidentally discover some magical veterinarian under the thumb of the rats who does a standard injection to end the heat which makes Liska wonder where the hell those things have been all of her life.
>>
>>2832923
It kinda looks more like a mutant cat than a ferret.
>>
>>2832948
>magical veterinarian
That's called 'wizards', thank you very much.
But really, it's a pretty good option. Magic is handwavium, after all, so we don't need to worry about precursor chemicals or any other drug-related paraphernalia, and the magical component of heat is accounted for as well.
>>
>>2832923
Did you expect Americans to be able to properly identify woodland (or otherwise) creatures?
>>
>>2832973
I expect them to identify them a hell of a lot better than the Japanese, what with the whole 'indigenous species' thing. Also, yes.
>>
>>2832973
>Did you expect City Slickers to be able to properly identify woodland (or otherwise) creatures?
ftfy
>>
>>2832918
[2/2]

"You smell scared," she finally says, after holding for a bit, "but you don't smell like a liar."

"Thanks?" Freebles tells her.

"Can you really smell that?" you ask Liska, as you sit up on the couch.

"Why do you think John's so good at poker?" she says, looking at you, "within a margin of error, yes. I can."

"I thought he cheated," you tell her.

"Oh, I'm sure he does that, too," she says, looking down at you, still holding Freebles, "but smelling bluffs is part of his edge. So, Freebles," she asks the ferret, holding him up to her nose, "are you REALLY throwing in with us? Are you really just doing this because you care? Are you going to make sure MY DAUGHTER DOESN'T DIE OR BECOME A DEMON?"

"YES," he says, "yes, and - I'll do my best. She can cut contract on her own, you know."

Liska holds him for a bit, takes another sniff, and sets him back on the armchair.

"I'm glad you saved this until bro got back on his feet," Freebles says.

"I wanted a third party," Liska says, "and I wanted him to see it. And I'm a bit..." she trails off, but you're wondering if that's just an excuse.

"I've seen it," you say, standing up and taking Liska's arm, "and let's get to bed. Thanks for defending my IV, bro," you tell the ferret.

"Sure thing, boss!" he says, curling up in the armchair.

"And I heard you were on that shift too," you say to Liska, "so, thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Sometimes," she says, as the two of you walk to your bedroom, "I think you're wondering what you should do with me."

"Well," you tell her, "I think I've got a good idea this time, but usually it's more about what should I say to you."

"Your tongue," Liska says, "is most eloquent when it's not forming words."

"Then let's go to bed," you tell her.

>Liska wakes you up
>You wake up and find Madison in the common areas
>You wake up and find Melon in the common areas
>You wake up and find James in the common areas
>You wake up and have a peaceful, breakfast-making morning alone
>>
>>2833025
>You wake up and have a peaceful, breakfast-making morning alone
Gotta take those peaceful moments while we can.
>>
>>2833025
>You wake up and have a peaceful, breakfast-making morning alone
>>
>>2833025
>You wake up and have a peaceful, breakfast-making morning alone
>>
>>2833025
>You wake up and see ellie making breakfast.
because why not? Lets throw a spanner in the works
>>
>>2833040
PURGE IT WITH FIRE!

>>2833025
>You wake up and have a peaceful, breakfast-making morning alone
>>
>>2833025
>You wake up and Kelly already kicked the door open
I DON'T KNOW WHAT BUT SOMETHING IS HAPPENING
>>
>>2833025
>>2833040
>>2833043

>Take all the silly/joke suggestions, and make them dreams that the QMC keeps waking up form, one after another, after another, after another until
>You wake up and have a peaceful, breakfast-making morning alone
>>
>>2833070
I can live with this choice.
>>
>>2833025
>You wake up and see ellie making breakfast.
>>
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>>2832824
>saw how fucked up the MG premise was and fucked up the tropes by taking swift decisive action.
Yeah, that was the original premise. It has bogged down quite a bit but I've attempted to keep those bogs solidly in the domain of fatherhood/parenting/adulting/family stuff with a magical twist. And most stories bog down after a while, just due to the weight of the cast.
>the point you were trying to make
>You went from a good household and healthy married relationship to something utterly dysfunctional that overstayed its welcome ages ago
>turn the wife into a hedonist
Ah, well, that's unfortunate. Part of the point has been that she was always like that, but has only been gradually opening up to the MC about it, after he figured out she was a fox. I guess I fucked that up.
I wouldn't say it's utterly dysfunctional (it's rather functional, if distorted a bit by magic and bullshit), although I am really ready for this 'heat' stuff to be over already, myself.
>the corner you wrote yourself into
I wrote myself into a very different corner.
>You should have dropped all this talk about fucking the teenagers when the majority voted and argued against it
Quash the minority out of hand? You want a Doylist spoiler on that topic: I have been slowly quashing it Watsonian style. If you'll notice, virtually every possible 'harem member' has been swept off the table by this point, due to the potential damage any of those unions would do to the team.
>kissless, girlfriend-free virgin who has no clue what's going on
Much of the interaction with Liska, as far as 'pillow-talk' etc. has been drawn from experience. Talking about who else you know that you might fuck is kinda normie. Whispering about it in plain view is not.
>You forget that your audience watches anime
I count on it. I'm using anime stuff rather heavily.
>>2832839
>he is also in heat
Not really. I wrote a couple of those lewdbins myself, but only when I felt there was some emotional/dramatic catharsis to get out of the scenario. That's part of the reason I've been fade-to-blacking the MC's scenes with Liska recently, much like the fight with Gusion - there didn't seem to be much of a point to it.
>>2832908
>Wesleyan
No, a distinctly anti-Arminian background.
>religious reference
Nah, the 'Three Faces of Eve' thing is more cultural than religious. Closely related to Madonna/Whore Complex, but has a middle ground for the 'Eve' (the wife/mother). Of course I put my own fourth mask in there, for kicks.
>Kick me an invite or something.
I would need to know your username for that, and I doubt either of us want to give our out on 4chan. That's why I suggested twitter, since mine's already public.
>>
>>2833070
Supporting>>2833154
Can you link your lewdbins? I wanna see.
A-and this for research purposes.
>>
>>2833025
>You wake up and have a peaceful, breakfast-making morning alone
>>
>>2833025
You are woken up in the middle of the night by the spirit(or god) of fathers past.
>>
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>>2833025
You wake up and hear the sounds of breakfast being made.

Still groggy, you stagger out into the kitchen, leaving your bed empty.

Unfortunately, Ellie's making breakfast. She's not a good cook, but she won't burn the eggs. You wish you'd beat her to the frying pan.

"Rare to see you up this early," you tell her.

She turns and smiles at you, about to say something, when Kelly kicks in the door.

"FBI!" Reynold yells from behind him, holding up a shiny badge, "we've got a warrant - get your hands up!"

"They've got a rat," his girlfriend (Rosemary, was it?) says, pushing past Kelly through the door, "I can smell it."

"Then we're taking it out," Kelly says, looking down the barrel of his gun at you, "even if it cuts their contracts."

Ellie goes frilly, and they start shooting. Everything goes red.

Liska spears her claws through your hand, before you tumble into an abyss, "HE'S MINE!" she yells, pulling you back into what looks like an old-fashioned parlor.

"You should have gotten wasted," Dionysus tells you, as you fall into a leather chair, "would have been amazing."

"Dad, I..." Melon says, kneeling in front of you, and then her teeth are undoing your zipper as the god smiles over his wineglass and you're falling again, all of them gone, and you see the hateful red sun of Hell, and it's really just W's flame magic, and you hit the ground.

Except it's not the ground - Ellie caught you.

"You know we're both dead, right?" she asks, "child of Venus - thirteen thousand souls, who wants to bid?"

"Fourteen thousand," Bernie says, as Heinrich tells him it's a terrible idea.

You wake up in a cold sweat, sitting bolt upright in bed. Liska's still half curled around you, and murmurs a little. Seems like she had her head resting on your arm.

Ok, that was just a dream. Good.

You take several deep breaths.

That was, well, not the usual nightmare. You look over at the alarm clock, and it begins to ring.

Then you realize there's another person in the bed.

"I SAID I'D BURN YOUR EARS OFF!" Madison yells, getting up from on top of you, as the alarm keeps ringing.

Then Kelly kicks down the door, and you smell breakfast.

"CIA!" Angus bellows, flashing a badge, "we don't need a warrant!"

"Then get I don't need one for this!" Madison yells, exploding in a wreath of fire, and you feel your skin sizzle and your fat burn.

Then suddenly Kelly's blown her brains out.

Then you wake up in a cold sweat, Liska mostly all over you, your alarm clock ringing.

You wait for the other shoe to drop.

And it doesn't. You're in the real world this time.

"Mmmmhm," Liska groans, as you manage to climb out of bed and shut off the alarm.

You lean over and kiss her on the forehead.

Shave. Shower. Get a suit on. Hit the kitchen.

Seems like nobody else is up yet.

You make an egg, trying to forget whatever the hell that nightmare was.

[1/2]
>>
>>2833268
>Unbeknownst to us, we actually did two time loops without us realizing it.
>>
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>>2833268
It feels a bit odd to not have someone with you in the kitchen. You got rather used to having someone to help you make and eat breakfast.

Well, it's nice to have peace and quiet, and an egg sizzling in the pan, sometimes.

Hopefully things will be alright here for the day. If things do his the worst-case scenario, Liska will call, right?

So you scarf down the egg and drive to work.

Sometimes, it's great to have no delays and get into town before rush hour.

You pull into the parking garage.

The elevator's just you. You and your thoughts. Anxiety about whether Liska and Melon are going to get along today, or whether they'll get along too well.

Oh. you should probably call the school district about getting Melon some sick leave, so you do.

...they're surprisingly understanding. Well, they don't want anyone else getting sick, right?

Even Bernie's not here yet, you realize, walking past his office.

Reynold shows up about five minutes after you.

"Morning, boss," he says, looking a bit haggard.

>I was wrong about you being CIA. You're FBI, aren't you?
>You're the Greek interpreter, send Zeus something polite about me regifting those tickets
>I had a weird dream about you
>How'd that discussion with Rosemary go?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2833298
What if instead, we're absorbing the memories of alternate realities in our sleep like in that one movie with Jet Li, The One.

>>2833319
>How'd that discussion with Rosemary go?
>>
>>2833319
>>I was wrong about you being CIA. You're FBI, aren't you?
>How'd that discussion with Rosemary go?
>You're the Greek interpreter, send Zeus something polite about me regifting those tickets
>>
>>2833319
Prove you're real and not more possibly Dionysus induced hallucinations/nightmares?
>>
>>2833319

>I was wrong about you being CIA. You're FBI, aren't you?
>How'd that discussion with Rosemary go?
>You're the Greek interpreter, send Zeus something polite about me regifting those tickets
>>
>>2833319
>How'd that discussion with Rosemary go?
>>Did you end up spending the night here?
>>
>>2833334
>What if instead, we're absorbing the memories of alternate realities in our sleep like in that one movie with Jet Li, The One.
Oh shit, that would be great. You know, now i remember that harriet said something similar to us before.
>>
>>2833319
>How'd that discussion with Rosemary go?
>Were making an idiot's guide to discovering magic is real during lunch. Your girlfriend can come over during then if she wants.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4tyBjWDBsk

I can just imagine one of the dreams going something like;

You wake up again, shake off that last... whatever that was, and head out to the kitchen, Ellie's still there, cooking... you don't want to know this time, and is now her full dutchess get up

She turns to you, smiling. "Your kid knows how to fuck."

"Oh, that's good to hear." You say, before letting out a huge yawn... then it hits. "Wait, what?"

Ellie's smile breaks into something that would make the Cheshire cat blush, saying "You heard me."

You wake up, again, more confused than anything.
>>
>>2833335
Supportan.

>>2833319
I tried setting up a twitter, but it kept kicking me out for 'unusual activity', and like fuck I'm giving it my phone number for an anonymous account.
So, have a discord invite to Cursed QM's server; you should be able to manage it from there. https://discord.gg/bYvaFf
>>
>>2833298
>>Unbeknownst to us, we actually did two time loops without us realizing it.
>>2833334
>What if instead, we're absorbing the memories of alternate realities in our sleep like in that one movie with Jet Li, The One.
Those were, in fact, consecutive dreams. I ran with >>2833070
They say dreams are a way the brain processes memories. I'm not trolling on this, I promise.
>>
>>2833319
>I had a weird dream about you (and then just leave it at that)
>How'd that discussion with Rosemary go?
>>
>>2833319
>rough night huh? You want coffee?
>We'll keep the work nice and slow for today. A relaxing day at the office would be nice.
>>
>>2833350
You wake up noticing two people in your bed. But your face shocks you when it's not Liska is in your bed.

Jean is sleeping beside you and cuddling Sue. Sue already woke up and with a smile of her face she said.

"Oh! Good morning Daddy!"

Jean woke up later and also said.

"Ah good morning my beautiful husband."

You stumbled out in your bed but instead caught by the fabric of your blanket that tumbled you down the desk beside hitting your head.

You wake up again, and it's even more annoying how it keeps happening.
>>
>>2833381
Now I'm liking alternate reality about different timelines how QMC woke up with different families and different scenarios.

QMC woke up from harem of boys because he is gay in one of the timeline.
>>
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>>2833390
>>2833381
>Wakes up next to pic related,

Damn Boss, that was something else

*Panicked/confused screaming until wakes up again*
>>
>>2833423
Sorry, I'll stop. I need to get some sleep
>>
>>2833358
>They say dreams are a way the brain processes memories. I'm not trolling on this, I promise.

If i recall correctly, that's actually true.

>Those were, in fact, consecutive dreams.
Yeah, i know....BUT WHAT IF WE ACTTUALLY TIMELOOPED OURSELVES oR ABSORBED DIFFERENT MEMORIES
>>
>>2833423
>>2833425
That is one true nightmare If it involve Freebles. Damn it you win. I'm laughing non stop here.
>>
>>2833423
Freebles x Marion romance fic when?
>>
I have no idea whats happening
>>
>>2833511
MC and Co are having another sex related problem, expect pacing to grind down to a crawl.

Unless you meant the dream thing? It didn't matter. At this exact moment we're having a conversation with our assistant and are either going to joke with him, tell him to get to work, or both.
>>
>>2833319
>>I was wrong about you being CIA. You're FBI, aren't you?
>How'd that discussion with Rosemary go?
>>
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>>2833319
"Rough night, huh?" you say, "need some coffee?"

"Already got some," he says, holding up the cheap styrofoam cup in his hand, "how long have you been here?"

"Not long," you tell him, "barely beat you. What's with the black eye?"

"I took some of your advice," Reynold says, settling into a chair at the other desk, "I might not have executed it correctly."

That's probably not the best topic to push right now. You've got most of the answer you wanted.

"Do you feel safe in your own home?" you ask, trying to keep your face straight.

If his girlfriend was trying to kill him, he'd be dead. That doesn't rule out other things, of course.

"Nobody's getting in there," Reynold tells you, grinning, "and I, uh, well... Rosemary hit me when I tried taking her to the floor. She didn't expect it, and she's got rather hair-trigger reflexes."

She didn't hit him the other night, but maybe she expected it.

Nightmares are terrible. Particularly if you remember them.

They seem to fuel your latent paranoia.

"Other than trying to deck you," you ask, "how'd it go? If you're willing to talk about it."

"It went..." Reynold says, and trails off.

"Last night was maybe the best night I've had with her since we met," he finally tells you.

"Glad to hear it," you tell him, "so let's have a nice, normal day at the office."

After a few hours of doing very legitimate accounting work, Reynold speaks up.

"They've done studies," he finally says, "get laid before you come into the office, you do better. Guessing you're on that plan?"

"Kid," you say, "what about that 'keep work and personal life' separate stuff?"

"You said they invade each other on this job," he says, grinning, "and Rosemary's dying to meet your wife tonight."

Oh, good grief.

"You should hope she doesn't want it too badly," you tell him.

"Daughter of a fertility goddess or something?" Reynold says, "I'll remind her before we come over."

"More about the fact there are going to be a lot of people there that can clean both your clocks, especially your clock," you say, looking over your desk at him, "and will. I've seen them do it. Have a nice night of Netflix or something."

"You already invited me," Reynold reminds you, "and Rosemary really wants to see some magic tricks."

"Tell her she doesn't get to start anything," you tell him, "and if anything happens to start, we'll try defusing it. We'll start with words."

"I will," he says, "want me to grab something from the cafeteria? It's lunchtime."

>Please. I've got a call I need to make [W, Kelly, Sachio, or Liska]
>Let's head down together and talk about [WRITE IN]
>I brought one today
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2833572
>I brought one today
>>
>>2833572
>>I brought one today
>>
>>2833572
>I brought one today
What's in the box?
>>
>>2833572
>I brought one today
There's no fires that need putting out at the moment, and he'll get the rundown on various people at the party.
I'd like to check up on the MG contract research or one of the other projects, but I doubt anything has happened in the day or two it's been since we last checked
>>
>>2833572
>I brought one today
sausage and meatballs, with a side of ginger and eels, really Liska?
>>
>>2833572
>>I brought one today
>>
>>2833629
For some reason there are two meatballs and one sausage in intricate position that you only assumed you already know what it looks like.
>>
>>2833650
And what's that clear glaze over everything? Hmm...
>>
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>>2833572
"I brought one today," you say, and Reynold hares off.

Unfortunately, you didn't bring one.

Well, if you're barbecuing tonight, and people are bringing sides, you can make it until dinnertime. You'll need an empty stomach.

At any rate, it gets him off your back for a bit.

The kid seems to be a bit eager for the supernatural. At least he can read Greek.

Well, you don't need to read Greek to total up Samedi's stuff. And you're listing souls as an alternative currency unit. Whatever court's mediating between him and Enma can values those.

That's one court you don't want to appear in front of.

Before you know it, Reynold is back in the office.

"They're got some decent corned beef today," he says, taking his seat.

"Wonderful," you tell him, "I'm closing in on getting this Caribbean menace's accounts squared."

"So I'm on Greek duty again?" Reynold asks, "what are we going to send to them?"

"Form letters," you tell him.

"At least I only have to translate one," he says, "sure you're not sending something specific to our client? I hear Zeus is pretty scary - did some reading on the internet the other night."

>Call him the fuck out
>Something polite about how I have previous engagements, but I'm giving those tickets to family
>Something about how my sister will be way more fun than my daughter
>Send him the form letter
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2833747
>Send him the form letter
Ehh, we're hungry, let's just be done with his ass.
>>
>>2833747
>Send him the form letter

we are at work, professional time
>>
>>2833747
>>Send him the form letter
>Very vaguely imply about how my sister will be way more fun than my daughter
>>
>>2833747
>>Send him the form letter
Let's put this to bed.
>>
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>>2833747
"Form letter," you tell him, "maybe vaguely imply my sister's more fun than my daughter?"

"My Greek's not good enough for that," Reynold tells you, "it's going to take me a while to just translate the form letter. Vague implications aren't my thing."

"Alright," you say, "then keep it very professional."

A few hours later he asks, "so how hard do I get thrown under the bus if they don't like it?"

"What?" you ask, jolted out of the network of islands and American coasts Samedi has holding on.

"Dionysus dropped in yesterday," Reynold says, "if, say, Artemis comes in saying I insulted her virginity or something, are you going to say it was my fault?"

"Well, did you?" you ask.

"Not intentionally," he says, "but I am not a professional translator."

"Check the revision history on that form letter," you tell him, "the word doc on the sharepoint."

"That's something like fifty people," he says, after a couple of minutes.

"So if there's something they take offense to," you say, waving your pen in the air, "it's in the original, so it's spread over something like fifty people, and they can fight Bernie about it because it's the firm's problem. Or my crew, if Bernie flips it on me. I'll cover for you."

"Your crew?" Reynold asks, raising his eyebrows.

"You've met some of them," you tell him, "although you might not remember it. You'll meet more tonight, if you come. I am betting they can kill gods, at least gods out of their territory. But," you say, staring at him, "that's them. If you fucked up translating a business letter badly enough that one of those gods is going to come over here for a dustup, either Bernie, or my family and a lot of people I care about are going to be fighting a god."

"I'll... double-check the translation," Reynold says, hunching back over his laptop, "and please don't do that 'the air tries to crush me' thing again."

"I'll try not to hit you with the full-force Dad Glare," you tell him, getting back to your accounting work.

Hell, Sademi's stuff is tangled, but you've made some good progress on it by the time Reynold tells you he's done.

"Hey," he says, "I'll fight the gods with you if they have a problem with this."

"Go for it," you tell him. You just want to be done with this whole thing, and eat dinner, "and you're out of the office for the day once those are in the mailroom."

"Sounds good," he says, and runs off to the printer and (hopefully) the mailroom.

Well, it's time to go home.

>WRITE IN CONCERNS TO ASK PEOPLE ABOUT ON CALLS DURING YOUR DRIVE (OR AFTER GETTING HOME)

I'm out for the night. I'm a bit tired. Hope the run's been fun.
>>
>>2833851
>WRITE IN: ask Harriet how far we are outside of the timelines she’s seen
>>
>>2833893
Also if she’s hitting the bottle less hard lately, and maybe if she really lives with Mary. Also tell her about the barbecue
>>
>>2833893
Supporting
>>
Jeeze you guys. Warning Zeus about his imminent demise takes the fun out of it and enables him to make sneaky plans to date rape our sister via enlisting the help of other gods. I thought you guys knew basic mythology.
And really? I thought we at least knew better than to sell our sister's ass to Zeus. Shame shame shame on you all. Pimping our own sister out to Zeus.
>>
>>2833851
that sounds good >>2833893 >>2833904

>>2834175
she's a duchess of hell with an army, zeus has maybe 10 worshipers left
>>
>>2834243
Which makes him an underdog. Do you seriously not get mythology?
>>
>>2834243
I'm also going to point out that encouraging Zeus to fuck our sister removes all the kudos we've earned from various gods our threat earned and spirals us into having even more divine enemies. Unless our sister defeats thousands of years of experience at rape and literary/mythological tropes in order to chop his dick off so that we can make due on making the godliest dildo to ever exist we might be making enemies of everyone that approved of our previous letter.

Hopefully the craftsmanship on the chad thundercock is so great that it will be sought by lonely housewives the world over and single handedly propel Hera's power through the stratosphere via proxy worship
>>
>>2834273
>the chad thundercock
Holy shit anon stop it my sides can't take any more
>>
>>2834243
we don't know how mythology works, and remember that we are offering all our parties to Dionysus without knowing. Zeus should be working on a similar basis, so don't underestimate him.
>>
>>2833851
>Cancel/fix that damn letter to Zeus (for the reasons I and at least one other anon pointed out)
>Make sure everyone relevant knows about the cookout (eg Mary, Madison, and etc might not know)
>Ask for everyone to bring any relevant concerns they may have and/or long term goals for us to start prepping.
>Buy some softball equipment we see from a sporting goods shop along the way.


>>2834321
In b4 using electricity and eating greek Yoghurt counts as an offering to him
Werewolves can be traced back to him too, so it's a really bad idea to underestimate him when he technically is one of the main causes of an extremely widespread and well known monster. We could wake up one day to thousands of werewolves.
>>
>>2833851
>not a professional translator
This is something that’s been bugging me about Reynold for a while. Why does he know Greek well enough to do what he’s doing? And why doesn’t Bernie have a professional translator who’s in on the masquerade already?

Beginning to wonder if this guy really is some intelligence service’s plant Bernie was forced to take on as part of a deal. He’s way too interested in what our deal is, and not panicking hard enough, and has an underexplained injury today.
>>
>>2834175
>"My Greek's not good enough for that," Reynold tells you, "it's going to take me a while to just translate the form letter. Vague implications aren't my thing."
>"Alright," you say, "then keep it very professional."
I thought it was stupid as well, but we didn't actually do.it, so there's nothing to worry about.

>>2834243
>zeus has maybe 10 worshipers left
While a common tope, we have no idea if that's how it works here. I can't imagine Dionysus has any more followers than Zeus, and look at how powerful he was outside his domain. Making assumptions like that is dangerous.
>>
>>2834362
>>2833851
>Might as well invite Reynold's girlfriend over too since I'm sure she'd crash the party otherwise.
>Ask Hellboy how far/easily he can search for magical girl locations outside of the city?
>Tell W that we're considering some lessons on magic to the girls to fill out their gaps in basic (for wizards) knowledge. Say it can probably double as him having extra research assistants.
>We can probably use Melon's marked improvements after training from Haru as an example of the pros in this situation if handled responsibly. Bring some possible course outlines and a theoretical curriculum. Doesn't have to be too specific. we just need a general idea.
>(at the cookout) Ask Mary and Madison what military roles they want (General,Spymaster, whatever the title of the guy in charge of special ops is) since we'll need a chain of command if something crazy like 100 magical girls suddenly drop into our town after a natural disaster hits the nearest major city or something.
Really sorry. I'm drawing a blank on everything right now

>>2834321
Oh crap. The Olympics are dedicated to Zeus and the rest of the Greek gods. They probably have that as their secret illegal divinity accounts they don't want taxed. The Greeks are probably the most powerful set of gods from a "dead" religion around.

>>2834372
That will be taken care of if we make him take a drink. We saw that demonstrated with Freebles. And we totally won't think of it in character since I like it more when we have no idea what the fuck we just did that looks like the machinations of a mastermind.
>>
>>2834390
>(at the cookout) Ask Mary and Madison what military roles they want (General,Spymaster, whatever the title of the guy in charge of special ops is) since we'll need a chain of command if something crazy like 100 magical girls suddenly drop into our town after a natural disaster hits the nearest major city or something.
What? There is no need to think about this right now.
>>
>>2834408
You say that when you don't have to deal with the rat god taking the energy they collected from all of the magical girls into a giant spirit bomb to defeat us.

We're already overstocked on the cast as it is (according to our QM) and we don't know what we'll need to overpower our enemies. We still are adding characters in, magical girls tend to come in packs, and there's always a prospect of magical girls joining the club. Ergo we are going to need somebody to control whatever rowdy groups of magical girls are around in the future.

Any new magical girl groups are going to respect magical girls as role models more due to the mistrust sewn between factions by the rats. That leaves Mary and Madison as the main nominees to control them if/when things get big enough to delegate responsibility.
So we basically get our two teams to be the coolest kids on the block ahead of time due to ranking, positions, experience, raw power, and so forth. Even if the power dynamic later changes, they're gonna have their first impressions ingrained into them to foster a slight respect for their metaphorical elders.
Having a rough plan in place also saves time from us having to panic about it at a busier moment. We got that shit done when things are nice and peaceful. They'll obviously have help and advice, but freebles does want to be the rat god after all. We should get the system of government for the new regime started. That actually gives me the idea of Madison becoming the lawyer/advocate for any new contractees to ensure a fair contract. She seems like she has the aptitude for it.
Madison also knows her way in and out of regional territories for magical girls. Her team is the most qualified to be scouting out their territories without getting killed.
>>
>>2833166
Guessing by the writing style, and Haiku’s evident fetish for ear biting, he probably did the Sue one and the Ellie one.

Let’s see if I have my research materials around to share with a fellow scientist.

pastebin.com/erE6eBPh
pasrebin.com/sqfQpYGH

When do we get Harriet, Haiku?
>>
>>2834513
Second link should also be pastebin. Autocorrect can suck my balls
>>
>>2834493
and we don't really need to think about this right now, when there are other more concerning things at hand.
>>
>>2834513
who wrote this heresy?
and why does it make my penis become the big penis?
>>
>>2834513
>and the Ellie one.
Haiku mentioned that he read that fapfic before he hard a solid grasp of Ellie's personality, which is why her actual personality is alarmingly close to the fapfic one.

All bets are off on the Sue one though.
>>
>>2834513
why
>>
>>2837279
Why not?
>>
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>>2833851
You dial Harriet as you walk to your car, and put the phone on hands-free.

It rings over and over as you start the car.

Well, you can't expect everyone to be reachable all the time.

"Hello?" someone answers, but the voice isn't Harriet's. Did you dial the wrong number?

"Harriet's answering service," the voice says with a humorous edge on it, as you pull out of the garage and start your drive home, "she's a bit busy right now - can I take a message? By the way, who is this?"

It's definitely a female voice.

You blank for a second on describing what your position is with regard to the local time-traveler, in some sort of socially acceptable manner, "I'm her friend. I was going to invite her to a barbeque thing tonight."

You hear either a stifled giggle or a gasp of shock from the other end of the line. Audio quality isn't amazing over speakerphone.

"That sort of 'friend'?," the voice asks, then turns slightly sultry, "I could give you some good tips on winning her heart. And do I get invited?"

There's a very long pause as you contemplate bringing one more person into this bullshit, and you hear a muffled "dry off, Harriet, your boyfriend's calling! I want a shower too!"

"You sound old though," the voice eventually continues at you, "didn't think that was her type."

"It's not like that," you say, "just a friendly gathering with a lot of people. I only found out about it recently. Ask her, if you want to tag along - I don't have a problem with it."

"A guy calling a girl with a few hours' notice to go to a 'barbeque thing'," the voice says, "and you expect me to believe you're not gunning for her?"

An attenuated "GIVE ME THE PHONE, MARY!" interrupts her from the other end of the line, as the voice bursts into giggles.

Ah, so that's why she sounded familiar.

"I'll be seeing you tonight, eldest brother," Mary tells you, "and I'm a little sorry about the joke-" before you hear the painful noise of a phone being dropped on the floor.

Huh.

"Who's this?" Harriet finally asks, then pauses for a second, probably to check caller ID, "oh, it's you. You know Mary has a terrible sense of humor."

That line's probably being delivered at the other magical girl as much as it is at you.

[1/2]
>>
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>>2839522
"I didn't know you had a roommate," you say.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Harriet sighs.

"Honestly," you tell her, "I'm just happy to hear her sounding relaxed, even if it's at my expense."

"I am too," she tells you, "oh, and she just got in the shower. She wasn't joking about that."

"So I guess she doesn't know about..?" you ask, picking up the implication that Mary can't hear her side of the call now.

"No," Harriet says, very flatly, "and I'd like to keep it that way - that ends poorly. What's up?"

"How far are we outside what you're seen?" you ask.

"Imagine I think the Straits of Gibraltar are the western limit of the world, and Britain is a place people tell tall tales about going to," she starts, "we're charting the North and South poles, the Americas, and maybe the eastern coast of Asia."

"We're charting that pretty literally," you say, "my in-laws are going nuts."

"Is that why I didn't see Melon at school today?" Harriet asks, "they said she was sick. And I only got bits and pieces of that family vacation thing."

"She is," you tell the girl, "maybe 'sick' is an bad word for it, but - did they teach you about canine heat cycles in school?"

"Fuck," Harriet says, "and with that, we've launched the fucking Appollo missions to add moonscape craters to our map. I'm guessing that's because she got ears this loop, which I have never seen before."

Great, you're that deep in terra incognita even for the time-traveler?

"Mary was saying something about a barbeque, too?" Harriet asks.

"We're doing another one tonight," you tell her, "with everyone. Ellie might show, too."

"Short notice," Harriet says, "but we'll bring a side and let the other girls know. Also, this had better not be a beachhead for her."

"I don't think she knows yet," you say, "W's testing some crazy stuff tonight. He thinks he can get her over."

"I can't decide whether cutting down on my drinking was a good idea," Harriet says, "or if I'm going to have to hit it harder."

"You know my vote," you say, "I don't want you to have to collapse into a bed again this time."

"I kind of want to see this show sober, well, maybe just buzzed," she says, "because Sue's going to drag Jean and probably Rick in, and you're going to have a very full house. Let's just hope Karen's folks don't come, but she's good at slipping out."

>Magical girls learning magic
>You looked cute in those coats
>You ever heard of 'Reynold Oliver' or 'Rosemary'?
>How'd the 'roomates' thing happen?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2839615
>Magical girls learning magic
>How'd the 'roomates' thing happen?
>>
>>2839615
>You ever heard of 'Reynold Oliver' or 'Rosemary'?
Eh, just in case (chance are even if she knows them it won't be reliable but whatevs)
>Magical girls learning magic
>>
>>2839615
>Magical girls learning magic
>You ever heard of 'Reynold Oliver' or 'Rosemary'?
>How'd the 'roomates' thing happen?
>>
>>2839615
>Magical girls learning magic
>>
>>2839615
>>You looked cute in those coats
>>
>>2839615
>Magical girls learning magic
>Oh and if you were to try being sneaky,you could have looked up audiobooks on your phone and changed the filename to Harry Potter or something like that. I'm assuming Harry Potter isn't on the banned list.
>My new assistant and his girlfriend are dropping by as well as maybe Dionysus too. I swear everyone's irresponsibility is rubbing off on me.
>>
>>2839668
>You're a teenager. I assumed that you had the inborn talent to perfectly type on a phone without looking and there's navigation settings for the blind. It's so weird seeing my blind cousin posting on Instagram all the time because of that.
>>
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>>2839615
"I get the feeling her folks would be party poopers," you say, unsure about how alright you are with the whole 'sneaking out' thing you are. Maybe it's not your problem. Maybe you should have a conversation with them. ...That might end with a punch-up, and you feel shouldn't interfere with another man's family like that.

But maybe you should. But there are all the other problems of it not being in this supernatural world where 'attempted murder' is 'hello', 'assault and battery' is 'foreplay', and the rest of the whole thing.

The guy would press charges. Did he have a name? You think he gave you one, but you can't remember at the moment. A lot's happened since then, and you just remember he sounded like a cock.

"They would be, given my experience," Harriet says, "but I'm guessing you have some more interesting topics."

"How interesting is 'magical girls learning magic'?" you ask.

"The stuff the rats don't want us to learn?" she asks back, "let's do it. Might as well learn a few more things on this run."

"You could have been sneaky with audiobooks before," you tell her.

"I didn't think about that," Harriet tells you, "that's a really good idea. I hope I don't have to end up using it."

"So do I," you tell her, gritting your teeth, "also, I ended up inviting my assistant, and his girlfriend as well. Welcomed them to the masquerade, and they've met some of our folks already. You know anything about a Reynold Oliver and a 'Rosemary'?"

"Those sound like aliases," she says, "I'm drawing a blank on the guy, and - wait. Does 'Rosemary' use two pistols?"

"I haven't seen her fight," you tell her, "but I think she was packing."

"Tattoos?" Harriet asks, "hair around Karen's shade? Likes short shorts and tank tops?"

"Yes on all counts," you say, "guessing you've met her."

"It's a long shot," Harriet tells you, "but that might be 'Scarborough Fair'. She's an assassin. I fought by her side in a few World War Threes. Got hard reset by her in a few, too. She rotates herbal aliases from the song."

You know someone else who rotates names. He's a wizard.

"Is she on that side?" you ask, "also, is inviting her over safe?"

"I don't think you needed to welcome her in," Harriet says, "five thousand bucks says she's a leanan sídhe. She's probably safe, if she hasn't tried to kill you already. Well, safe for us. Your assistant is not a lucky man."

"He got assigned to me, he's not lucky," you tell her, and then remember what a leanan sídhe IS, and breathe, "fuck."

"I could be wrong," Harriet tells you, "I'll tell you when I meet her."

>He has interesting taste in women
>Any questions for me, before Mary gets out of the shower?
>I live in a glass house and can't throw stones on that one
>So, roommates?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2839839
>He has interesting taste in women
>I live in a glass house and can't throw stones on that one
>Any questions for me, before Mary gets out of the shower?
>>
>>2839839
>He has interesting taste in women
>>But i guess he's not the only one
plus it might not be as bad as it sounds, it's not as if your life was true to the legends
>Any questions for me, before Mary gets out of the shower?
>>
>>2839839
>>I live in a glass house and can't throw stones on that one
>Any questions for me, before Mary gets out of the shower?
>>
>>2839839
>>He has interesting taste in women
She didn't seem like Fae to me, too blunt, but who knows what they're actually like.
>leanan
I'm curious as to what her thought process is. Leanan are muses, not combat specialists.
>So, roommates?
>Any questions for me, before Mary gets out of the shower?
>>
>>2839615
>>Magical girls learning magic
>>You looked cute in those coats

>>How'd the 'roomates' thing happen
>>
>>2839839
>>He has interesting taste in women
>>Any questions for me, before Mary gets out of the shower?
>Still compliment she looked cute
>>
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>>2839839
"Reynold's got interesting taste in women," you observe.

"You live in a very glassy house to throw that stone!" Harriet tells you, as you change lanes on the freeway.

"Interesting is a neutral term," you say, "my taste is interesting as well - you've met Liska."

"Interesting doesn't begin to describe your taste," she says, "but I like her. She really helped me out the other night, too. I think you've got good taste, even if you wouldn't say that yourself."

"I definitely married above my station," you tell her, "I'm concerned about my assistant dying on me, though. And I thought leanan sídhe were muses, not combat specialists."

"Most supernaturals are at least more durable than humans," Harriet says, "faster, stronger, and, well, Kelly'd be hellishly dangerous even if he was a baseline human. The magic's just an extra edge. They - we, I guess, have a leg up on you - for that sort of thing. And you're a very dangerous man yourself. What someone IS by birth doesn't make them what they ARE."

That makes a degree of sense, if you caught the meaning correctly.

"Any questions for me before Mary gets out of the shower?" you ask.

"I'd prefer to ask most of them in person," Harriet tells you, "but on the earlier topic, does her boyfriend have talents he shouldn't? Like music, or languages, writing, like it's a gift?"

"I'm not making that bet with you," you say, "and yes, but I'm not ruling out training or weird hobbies, or a being a government agent. 'Rosemary' seemed very blunt for a fae."

"And I probably seem very alcoholic for a magical girl," Harriet says, "but the legends and TV shows aren't all true. So tell me about heat."

You take a deep breath.

"Don't get in a room alone with a fox?" you ask, "they're coping, but it's hard on them."

Harriet sighs, "I can probably guess at it better than you can," she says, "and that's going to make for a fun party. Anything happen on the Bernie front?"

"I think that's why I got a new assistant," you say, "although that might just be office politics and explainable stuff, but I feel like he's been pushing things somehow. I did drive him to work while he was drunk or hungover, and also Dionysus is now a client."

"Well," Harriet says, "looks like I should add more planets to the map - metaphorically. We're way outside anything I've seen, although I think you've only put one apocalypse to bed. Maybe two. Not sure."

"Which?" you ask.

"One more question," Harriet says, as if she's suddenly through of something, "are you bleeding off magic through the yarnball?"

"My dad glare can make people feel like the air is crushing them, now" you tell her.

"That's probably Mary's excess, from what W explained," she says, "well, we've solved one of them, I think. Mary just finished her shower."

"You know," you tell her, "you looked cute in those coats. It was good to see you enjoying yourself like that."

Harriet's breath catches.

"I did enjoy it," she says, with an air of realization in her voice.

[1]
>>
>>2839995
>"That's probably Mary's excess, from what W explained,"
There's also a theory it's coming from Ellie, as it wasn't something we could do before she showed up, though I don't remember who suggested it originally. I suppose it could be a blend of their powersets.
>>
>>2840025
Liska also mentioned that her power was partly in there when we showed her last time
>>
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>>2839995
"That's just going to make next time hurt more," Harriet whispers.

"Then we'll make sure there doesn't have to be a next time," you say.

"I hope we can," she says, "I'll see you later."

Then she hangs up.

Driving has always been a meditative state for you. Well, when you weren't intentionally challenging someone.

What the hell is going through the heads of the people around you?

It's easy to call them nutjobs, but they all have their own reasons. There's no way to win - you can't solve all their problems.

But you can help them through, maybe make things better, and possibly keep the world from ending.

It's a terrifying job, but you're the person at the right time and place. You're pretty sure you're the wrong person.

Apparently that's not a shared opinion.

Well, you think, as your garage door slowly ratchets up, if Slim Pickens can ride a bomb to hell, so can you.

You park next to the amateur gunsmith's shop in your garage. The one that popped up while you were comatose, like a fairy ring of mushrooms overnight.

Just a month, and it feels like everyone changed. Some of them grew. Maybe too fast, you think as you shut the car door.

But it's not too different from the daze you're been in for as long as you've had a family. Freebles crashing through your window broke ice that had been thin all along.

Well, it's time to go icefishing, before you freeze to death in the water, you think, opening the door into the house.

"I'm home," you say.

"Hi, dad," Melon tells you, carrying a laundry basket, and seeming a bit startled to see you in the hallway, "please don't hug me. Please pet my ears again. Please don't touch me at all!"

>I won't
>Did things go well today?
>Hug her and pet her ears
>I can't understand what's going on, but let's talk about it
>Are you going to be ok with having a bunch of people over tonight?
>Did Liska do anything to you?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2840030
>>I won't
>Did Liska do anything to you?
We decided to trust her, and I don't think she'd really do anything without some wierd edge case, but we need to double check.
>Are you going to be ok with having a bunch of people over tonight?
I suspect not, but we can either lock them up in the house for the duration, or send them elsewhere.
>>
>>2840030
>Are you going to be ok with having a bunch of people over tonight?
>Did Liska do anything to you?
>>
I'm going to bed. Keep voting, please.

Next runtime (hopefully tomorrow) on the twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Well, at least it appears nobody burned down the house.

I'm debating whether to address >>2834513 because I feel there are pitfalls in every direction doing that.
>>
>>2840030
>Are you going to be ok with having a bunch of people over tonight?
>>
>>2840030
>>Are you going to be ok with having a bunch of people over tonight?
>>
>>2840030
>>I won't
>Are you going to be ok with having a bunch of people over tonight?
>>
>>2840030
>Are you going to be ok with having a bunch of people over tonight?
>Did Liska manage to help you out?
Less accusatory, I would think.
>>
>>2840030
>Are you going to be ok with having a bunch of people over tonight?
>If you aren't ok later, which of your friends would you be least embarrassed by them remembering what you're acting like as they drag you off?
>>
>>2840030
>I won't
>Did things go well today?
>Are you going to be ok with having a bunch of people over tonight?
>>
>>2840193
Now I know we don't want her first to be while in heat, but which of the other girls would we be ok with Melon hooking up with for relief? I feel like Harriet is an obvious yes.
>>
>>2840667
Go read some fapfics. Your mind is in more in the gutter than Melon's right now.
>>
>>2840684
Naw that's boring. I wanna ask uncomfortable questions.
>>
>>2840696
Less uncomfortable and more boring. There's a million discussions like that a thread and none of them matter.
>>
>>2840696
You seem quite comfortable saying it, so I don't get what you mean.
>>
>>2840739
That was incredibly uncomfortable, you think I don't know how shitty this'll be?
>>2840733
We haven't considered her banging girls for relief. At least if we did I missed it.

More to my list of girls Melon could bang
Mary
Madison
W's daughters
Sue
>>
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>>2840667
>>
>>2840667
Why do you want to talk about this? I get that this is your fetish but why do you need us to participate? Is it some form of exhibitionism that gets you off?
>>
>>2840030
Did things go well today?
>>
>>2840030
>Did things go well today?
>Hug her and pet her ears
>>
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>>2840030
This seems bad. Melon plants her back against the wall and takes several deep breaths.

"Are you ok?" you ask her, fighting the temptation to hug her. She's obviously going through something, but that might make it worse, and she's holding the laundry basket in from of her like a shield.

"No," she says, "mom wasn't kidding about me losing my mind. This is stupid," she says, sighing and leaning further back against the wall, giving you a look you've seen on Liska's face a few times, and breathing very heavily.

Fucking Christ. 'Stupid' doesn't begin to describe this shit!

Melon shakes her head violently a couple of times, then tries to stare through the opposite wall. After a few second, she relaxes a little.

"Being sick would be better," she says, still looking past you, her eyes boring into the wall beside you.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" you ask, and she looks to the side.

"Don't ask that, please," she says, and exhales sharply.

"Are you going to be alright if we have a bunch of people over tonight?" you ask, maneuvering around the topic.

"I'll try," Melon tells you, turning her head toward you, but not daring to meet your eyes, "I made it through today, anyway. I'll probably be going to bed early and locking the door."

"That seems wise," you say, wishing you could hug her or help her, "but I can call this off if I need to. You're more important than having a meeting."

"I'll let my friends know to drag me off if I do something stupid," she says, and grins a little, "Mary's definitely strong enough. And - nevermind," she finishes, and takes the laundry basket to the the utility room.

"Hang in there," you say, hoping she heard it, and walk down the hall. Madison's curled up in the living room, happily reading her way through your library.

"Oh, hey," she says, looking up at you from the couch, "you've got a pretty good collection."

"Thank Liska for half of it," you tell her, "where is everyone?"

"They got press-ganged into going on a grocery run," Madison tells you, "I think Liska's in your room. She's been writing most of the day. Interested to see what she comes up with in a state like this - today's been rather entertaining."

>'Rather entertaining'? (Ask Madison how the day went)
>Go ask Liska how the day went
>Go tell Liska you're deeply disturbed
>Go back and hug Melon anyway
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2841585
>'Rather entertaining'? (Ask Madison how the day went)

> You seem like one of the less sex/violence obsessed girls. How did that happen?
>>
>>2841585
>'Rather entertaining'? (Ask Madison how the day went)
Time to know what everyone did while we were at werk.
>>
>>2841585
>'Rather entertaining'? (Ask Madison how the day went)
>>
>>2841585
>Entertaining entertaining or I should panic if Dionysus stops by entertaining?
>>
>>2841585
>>'Rather entertaining'? (Ask Madison how the day went)
>>
>>2841585
>Go tell Liska you're deeply disturbed
>'Rather entertaining'? (Ask Madison how the day went)
>>
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>>2841585
"Rather entertaining?" you ask, and Madison sits up on the couch.

"I'm not sure where to start," she says, then grins, "I didn't singe any ears, if you get my drift. But there were a couple of amusing incidents."

"Dare I ask?" you say.

"Well," she says, "James spent most of the day shopping for apartments or houses."

"That doesn't seem too entertaining," you tell her, remembering how that goes. And you're a little surprised she didn't go with him.

"It was more about the way he left," Madison says, smiling, "he's not very comfortable around Melon right now."

Considering you might string up any man who was, that's a good thing.

"Then there was the part where Melon and Liska changed into foxes," she tells you, "and chased each other around the house and the backyard, until every dog on the street started barking. Oh, Marlene (I think that's her name?) thinks you have pet foxes now, and we're a bunch of relatives on vacation in a camper. I tried to leave the exact degree of relation vague."

"Thanks for that," you say, wondering how interesting your next conversation with Fred is going to get, "anything else?"

"Overheard Rob's half of an argument with his hand," she says, "it apparently had some ideas about the situation that he's not on board with - lucky for him," she says, looking at where she knows you're bandaged under your suit, "he ended up bailing with James, too."

"And you've been...?" you ask.

"Mostly reading on the couch and spectating," Madison says, "occasionally providing a voice of reason. Had some fun talks with Liska and Melon, too. Nice, sort-of relaxing day, really."

"I am sorry our hospitality is... well," you say, "a bit impaired at the moment. And thanks for helping out."

"I said it was fun," Madison says, "and it's the least I could do after we dumped ourselves on your lawn at six-something in the morning."

>You seem like one of the less sex/violence obsessed girls. How did that happen?
>Can you help keep an eye on things this evening, too?
>Go say "honey, I'm home" to Liska
>Cautions about Greek gods and potential fae showing up
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2841795
>>You seem like one of the less sex/violence obsessed girls. How did that happen?
>>Can you help keep an eye on things this evening, too?
Don't go talk to Liska unless she comes out first; it's safer that way.
>>
>>2841795
>You seem like one of the less sex/violence obsessed girls. How did that happen?
>Can you help keep an eye on things this evening, too?
>Now I am going to try and relieve my wife before the big event.
>>
>>2841795
>Cautions about Greek gods and potential fae showing up
>>
>>2841795
>Cautions about Greek gods and potential fae showing up
>>
>>2841801
Supporting this
>>
>>2841795
I don't wanna count my chickens, or phoenixes or whatever before they hatch, but how do you feel about learning contract law as a long term career? If we do manage to pull off that whole remodeling the system thing there are going to be alot of girls that are going to need a lawyer of some sort helping them out and watching things to make sure they don't get to the way things are now.
>>
>>2841801
>>2841905
Supportan
>>
>>2841905
I don't think any of the girls are really lawyery-types. Freebles would likely be the best one for that sort of thing. If him being a magic talking yakuza rat is an issue, one of the girls could be his public face.
>>
>>2841936
Madison is well read, likes debating for hours, is willing to put her foot down, has a fair level of maturity, has a decent grasp of ethics, and so forth. If she's not a lawyer she's future judge material.
>>
>>2841795
>>You seem like one of the less sex/violence obsessed girls. How did that happen?
>>
>>2841795
>Cautions about Greek gods and potential fae showing up
>You seem like one of the less sex/violence obsessed girls. How did that happen?
>>
Also side note, what I find most irritating is when people go on long rants about what they specifically don't like in the quest, whether or not it's censored out.

Especially when it's not like we haven't voted to deal with this shit over time.

I dunno, I personally just haven't bitched about things but some of you all take it way too seriously.

So I'm speaking out to say I think things have been going quite well and I'm super happy with the quest so far. If some autists have problems because the quest upsets their personal sensibilities, or they wanted a different headcanon, then maybe playing games with other people isn't for them.

At the very least if something upsets you, just wait for the quest to love on instead of bitching about it like a little kid. Haiku is playing to a bunch of different interests here.

Ultimately, everyone gets to vote so there's your chance to change things.
>>
as always HaikuXFloor OTP
>>
>>2842174
Supporting. The people bitching about the heat issue recently have been the worst
>>
>>2842201
>>2842174
Thirding.

And I mean, I bitched a fair amount about Fate Shit Night getting brought up, but it seems like it's one or two people who doing it multiple times every goddamn thread.

I've stopped reading their posts because it's not even interesting shitposting like what we had at the beginning.

I will say that I was one of the people who brought up that there was too much player agency for NPCs earlier on, and that I'm quite happy with them having their own personalities and issues, even if some people don't like the fact that we actually have real interpersonal conflicts now instead of some anime cliche not-harem where everyone just bows to our obviously superior perspective etc.
>>
>>2842224
>>2842201
>>2842174
Well since we're all talking about bitching. I'm the guy that bitched about how that one anon's fapfic influenced Haiku in writing Ellie the way that she is now.
Still find it stupid. Still gotta deal with it. Gonna pick options that will hopefully unfuck our sister's shit to such a degree that she can exist in the same room with another person without wanting to either fight, fuck or cannibalize for a good 12 hours, maybe 24 if we're pushing it.
It's probably going to fail hard, but I gotta hope that it'll turn out for the best for everyone involved.
That's my blogpost.
>>
>>2842283
>that one anon
Huehuehue.>>2834513
>same room with another person without wanting to either fight, fuck or cannibalize for a good 12 hours, maybe 24 if we're pushing it.
I can agree with you on that.
>>
>>2842283
>>2842224
for the record, we're trying to say let's STOP bitching and just vote for it rather than blogposting (tm)
>>
>>2842293
That was what I was getting at.

I find the blogposting makes me concerned about squeaky wheels getting the grease and the quest slowly getting neutered to cater to one specific taste.

I mean, I guess I could start posting about everything I didn't like spending time on, but Chryssa A Shit, A Shit! Lies down that path.
>>
>>2842293
It doesn't change the fact that I am under the belief that I am blogposting instead of getting shit done or making plans beyond the level of "get food, kill crack-spider the side of a half dollar, go to sleep".
>>
Im gonna join the bitching too and say that Its bullshit that we cant pet fluffy ears.
>>
>>2842293
Nah. Fuck it. GirlTalkAnon or whatever the fuck that faggot wants to call themselves has got the ball rolling.

Let's go full BQ shitposting. Darzi best girl, and we gotta find that Demon chick from the beginning to be our Domestic chew-toy for Melon and Liska when they go into heat.
>>
>>2842320
Well, we still have Liska's ears.

And we could probably get drunk with Sachio and start petting his ears.

Freebles is a shapeshifter too. Do I have to remind you from last thread that he's also a rather reasonable 3-some candidate?

>>2842286
I just want you to know that I hate you so, so much and think you ruin this quest with these posts.

I finally went back and read this shit and you're pure fucking poison. I can only imagine what kind of terrible thing it would be to have to deal with you in real life.

Honestly. I really want you to know that I have no respect for how you bring your complaints up.
>>
>>2841795
Adding this to my vote

>WRITE IN

Ask Madison which girl would be the best choice to "Take one for the team" with Melon if it comes down to it, to prevent pregnancy.
>>
>>2841795
>>Can you help keep an eye on things this evening, too?
>>Go say "honey, I'm home" to Liska
>>
>>2842368
Why would we be asking Madison instead of Harriet or Mary? I'm sure they're friendly but Melon's initial group of friends are gonna know her preferences better.
>>
>>2841795
>You seem like one of the less sex/violence obsessed girls. How did that happen?
>Cautions about Greek gods and potential fae showing up
>>
>>2842556
Madison knows her crew better.

We can ask Harriet and Mary about the other girls too.
>>
>>2842613
Or here's a crazy idea, we don't go looking for people to prostitute out to our daughter because it's the convenient option.
>>
>>2842623
That would require making sense and listening to our daughter saying she's (currently) ok. I don't agree with what anon is proposing but if that stupid crap is going to happen it's going to at least try to make more sense than nagging Madison to possibly have sex with our daughter or wife twice within a 48 hour period. Anon must have a fetish for the smell of burnt hair because that's probably what Madison's reaction to a serious proposal is going to be like.
>>
>>2842623
Better to be prepared for desperate measures than to be taken unawares. And at least they won't get Melon preggo like Shelby would.

>>2841795
Backing talking to Madison about her crews probable reaction to this.
>>
>>2841795
>>You seem like one of the less sex/violence obsessed girls. How did that happen?
Don't ask her about who would be willing to fuck melon, that's stupid.
>>
>>2842647
>Desperate measures
Ok sure if that's what you want to call the blatant fetish bait. Still voting a hard no but since it's gotten one or two idiots backing it Haiku will throw at least a little of it in and we'll never hear the end of it.

I almost wish this quest stayed as a one shot at points like this
>>
>>2842368
>take one for the team
That’s the best euphemism I’ve heard today, but no. Our daughter is doing her best to not give in, and trying something like that would be disrespectful to everyone involved.

I think she’d hate herself afterward. Us, too, for good reason. Has she even hinted at being attracted to women anyway?

Even Liska recognizes we shouldn’t sacrifice what we’ve built on an altar of lust. When you’re less rational than the foxes in heat, there’s a problem.
>>
>>2842666
I'm not backing it. i'm pointing out how illogical his attempt is from a character standpoint and how he could at least do better. he's the only one that's actually going for it.
>>
>>2842708
>>2842666
Now that I think of it, I've actually given Haiku an excuse to leave the foxes in the burn ward if anon's vote goes through. My bases are generally covered since I've given (what i think is) legitimate reason to turn his hope into a monkey's paw.
>>
>>2842368
We've already talked about our plan B with Liska. If they can't control themselves, we're calling the wizards to lock them up for the duration.
>>
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>>2841795
"Well," you say, "the 'least' anyone's done so far is destroying the road in front of my house. So the bar's pretty low."

Madison laughs.

"My own bar's higher than that," she says, as you sit down in the armchair, "and that's what I'm going by."

"This isn't going to come out right," you say, "but I mean it as a compliment: you seem less obsessed by violence and sex than most magical girls I've met. More responsible, too."

"Part of that is that I'm a bit older," she says, then sighs, leaning back into the couch, "but, well, thanks."

After a pause, she says "I have people I have to look out for - I think you understand. We're rather similar, in a way."

That's an odd thing to hear from a teenage girl, but you can kind of see what she's saying. She probably thinks of everyone in the camper as family.

And she's grown up really fast to protect them.

"Might have done a better job than me," you say.

"You weren't there for the screwups," Madison tells you, with a dark look on her face.

"You might get to see another one of mine," you say, "we're having some extra guests at the thing tonight - my assistant from work and his girlfriend (I've heard she may be fae), we're trying to summon Ellie, and Dionysus is in town, which means there's a chance he'll crash it. Given the current situation, I'd appreciate some help."

"Alright," Madison says, "I don't want to see anyone I care about bewitched, pulled to Hell, become a maenad, or dragged into a fox's bed - No offense, so yeah, I'll help. Did someone hit you with that one Chinese curse, by the way?"

"Maybe," you tell her, as she pulls out her phone and calls someone, "I certainly do live in interesting times."

"Hey, James?"she says, after about half a ring, "no, things are still fine. You might need to make an extra stop for cold iron, four-leafed clovers, and whatever you need to kill a god who's already come back from the dead once," she tells him, pauses, and you vaguely hear James talking, then she starts again, "no, we're not planning to fight, we're just being careful."

James says something, and Madison tells him "thanks," and hangs up.

>Long term plans?
>We are similar - you've got a pet wizard too
>I need to go say hi to Liska
>You're going to make a guy very happy some day
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2842723
>>Long term plans?
>>We are similar - you've got a pet wizard too
I wouldn't be surprised if she's not interested in any sort of romance for a long time, and that last line comes off as slightly condescending to me.
>>
>>2842723
>>I need to go say hi to Liska
>>
>>2842723
>I need to go say hi to Liska
>Long term plans?
>>
>>2842723
>I need to go say hi to Liska
>>
>>2842723
>>Long term plans?
We shouldn't enter Liska's den until she's stable enough to come out.
>>
>>2842174
>>2842201
>>2842224
Thanks, guys!
>>2842297
>squeaky wheels getting the grease
The solution is to squeak louder than them, or squeak period. I like getting feedback, and that's a form of it.
>>2842320
>Its bullshit that we cant pet fluffy ears
Yeah. I find it interesting that Melon's situation has basically sealed the MC's dad powers of hugs and verbal dadly affection.
>>2842728
>that last line comes off as slightly condescending
Sometimes I run out of option ideas. It's a stock phrase, but I thought it was something the MC might consider saying.
>>
>>2842723
>The lawyer thing, or ask if she has any life goals for if Freebles actually manages to pull off his plan.
>Maybe even start some courses at the local college while she's at this town if she wants a more mundane career? We could check if there are any local grants.I've heard there are places in the US where they help pay for college students like the rest of the civilized world?
>I'm probably gonna see if I can uh ..calm Liska down before things get started. Mind moving Melon and anyone else away from anywhere where they can hear what's going on?
>>
>>2842747
>Sometimes I run out of option ideas. It's a stock phrase, but I thought it was something the MC might consider saying.

That wasn't a grip against you offering it, just giving my reasons for not choosing it.
>>
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>>2842723
"Where the hell is he going to get all that stuff?" you ask.

"Probably a Home Depot," Madison tells you, smirking for a second, and then her face falls, "although it's better not to ask him, sometimes," she finishes with a sigh.

Given your experience with wizards, that makes sense.

You wonder if this has anything to do with the argument they had the other day at breakfast - and you can see James' point about keeping them out of it.

You'd bet your bottom dollar at least two people you know have robbed graves.

"Wizards seem to live in a scary world," you say, "and, well, so do you. And me now. What would you do if we could really get you out of it?"

"You can't," Madison says, keeping her face very neutral with a bit of visible effort, "I got the news out of James. They can't undo the magical girl stuff."

"If nothing else," you say, leaning forward, "we are going to do our damndest to change who's holding the contractual power, and rewrite that shit. You may never stop being a magical girl, but we're going to iron out the contracts, even if we can't cut them out of your magic. Or we'll die trying. I've got people to look out for, too. People I care about. People I want to have a future. You're one of them. What would you do with a future?"

Madison flops full-length on the couch, then looks back over at you, "I'll think about the future when it gets here," she tells you, and looks at the ceiling, "I've been scrabbling tooth and nail for tomorrows. Frankly, it feels weird to be here, without a sword of Damocles over my head, able to just lie down for a bit."

There's no good answer to that, you think, settling back into the armchair.

"And thank you for that," she finally says, "but I don't want out. Even if, say, the wizards figured something out - if they could get me back to normal, the supernatural would still be all around me, but I couldn't stand up to it. Going to the office, knowing my boss might be a dragon, or knowing a friend could be a demon, and not having the power to confront them, or defend anyone from them? Knowing any guy who came onto me might be a vampire? Knowing Rob's stuck in that world? If I got out, I'd still be living in a nightmare. Maybe a worse one."

She seems to be talking as much to herself as to you.

"I think there are things you could do, without getting out," you say, " you could keep it on the back-burner, like Liska, or even blend the two. Bet there's a few openings for magical contract lawyers or something."

"That's an idea," Madison says, "if things get stable enough that I can, it would be nice to go to college or something. But there's a long row to hoe before that. And I'd have to make sure everyone's taken care of. Speaking of taking care of people, you might want to check on Liska," she finishes, opening the book back up.

"Was the pun intentional?" you ask, and she flashes you a grin before going back to reading.

It does seem like a good idea, and you lever yourself out of the armchair.
>>
>>2842865
She's an odd one, you think, as you walk down the hall. Well, everyone is. It's an idle thought to distract yourself from thinking of what you might find.

You find your wife in your bedroom, slamming away at a laptop on the desk, headphones on.

[SET 1:]
>Surprise her by grabbing her
>Surprise her by kissing her
>Walk into her field of view and wave
>Surprise her by folding her ears
>WRITE IN

[SET 2:]
>How was your day?
>I might have invited a fairy to dinner
>Honey, I'm home!
>Managed to not get those pretty ears singed?
>>
>>2842882
>>WRITE IN
Stand behind her and slowly strip till she notices our smell.

>Honey, I'm home!
>>
>>2842882
>>Surprise her by folding her ears
Fuck, that should have been "fondling", not "folding".

As always,
>WRITE IN
Is an option.
>>
>>2842882
Surprise her by folding her ears
But like nibble them

And say Managed to not get those pretty ears singed?
>>
>>2842882
>Get shirtless, rub oil on yourself and walk around all sexy like to see how long it takes for her to realize she's not hallucinating a sexual fantasy.
>>
>>2842893
>Hilarity ensues
Sure, why not.

Hey QM? How many sets of ears does Liska have? Most headphones aren't designed to work with ears on /top/ of the head.
Or are her fox ears positioned differently than I think?
>>
>>2842896
This.
>>
>>2842882
>>2842896 With the door closed please.
Wouldn't want Melon to see that... or what ensued afterwards. Yes I would.
>>
>>2842882
>Walk into her field of view and wave
>Honey, I'm home!

Sane option pls
>>
>>2842882
>surprise her by folding the ears

>I'm home foxy lady
>>
>>2842882
>>Walk into her field of view and wave
>Managed to not get those pretty ears singed?
>>
>>2842882
You shut the door behind you, and notice Liska's second set of ears, with the band of the headphones behind them.

The opportunity's too good to pass up. You approach silently, unbuttoning your shirt.

Without warning, before she can scent you, you fondle her ears. She makes a noise between a growl, a gasp, and a yip.

"Hey," you say, bringing your mouth down to one of her fuzzy ears, so close you can feel the fluff brush against your lips, "I'm home, foxy lady."

Then you nibble her ear, very gently, listening to her deep, ragged breathing and taking in her scent.

"Hi, honey," she says, and you can feel her shiver under your hands.

"Glad you didn't get these pretty ears singed," you whisper in her ear, "so what kind of reward do you want?"

"Over the desk," she whines out.

Some time later, you're laying next to her in bed, atop the covers, watching her tails wave lazily.

"I could get used to this," you say, and Liska laughs.

"I can't," she tells you, sprawling on top of you, "this is ridiculous. I'm just glad I can't smell Melon on you."

"I can't get used to THAT," you say, "and I hear our neighbors think we have a pair of pet foxes now?"

She chuckles again.

"We had a bit of a discussion-turned-argument," Liska says, "and it just sort of happened. At least we had someone to cover for us."

You're not sure whether you want to know what that discussion was about.

"I'm afraid I'll have to start calling you my pet fox," you say, putting an arm around her.

That gets a full-on barking laugh.

"As long as you do pet me," she says, and you run your hand over her ears to an appreciative growl, "did the grocery crew make it back? And is my laptop on one piece?"

"I shut it when we started," you tell her, "and I think they ended up making a detour to a hardware store. Apparently that's where you buy cold iron these days. Reynold's girl might be fae - unconfirmed, but..."

"He sounds like a miniature version of you," she says, nuzzling into your neck, "starting to pick up surrogate sons now?"

"No," you tell her, "I prefer your method of getting sons."

"It is fun," she says, then sighs, "I'm feeling a lot better now. You ok?"

"I think even my clothes should be," you say, "after some cleaning. You went easy on the teeth and claws."

"Wasn't in that mood," she says, and her tongue flicks the remnants of that earlobe, "you want me to go harder next time?"

>I want to heal up
>If you want it, and I won't die
>We've got a party to prepare for
>If Dionysus shows up tonight, can you please not start something?
>Are you going to be ok tonight?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2843171
>Are you going to be ok tonight?
Always never hurts to check in with the missus
>>
>>2843171
>>We've got a party to prepare for
>>
>>2843171
>>We've got a party to prepare for
>>If Dionysus shows up tonight, can you please not start something?
>>
>>2843171
>>I want to heal up
>We've got a party to prepare for
>Are you going to be ok tonight?
>>
>>2843171
>I want to heal up first
>We've got a party to prepare for
>Are you going to be ok tonight?
>>
>>2843171
>I'd like to heal up. As funny as died from being too much of a sexy beast would be on my coroner's report I'd prefer being able to move enough to defend myself if the party gets too hard.
>Are you gonna be ok tonight if Dionysus shows up? Do I need to make sure you're basking in afterglow for the entire party? (Hang a sock on the door?)
> We got a party to get ready for. Shower up?
>>
>>2843196
>>2843195
Supportan
>>
>>2843171
>>2843247
This
>>
>>2842865
Madison raised an interesting point there. Even if we could get the girls out, the things that go bump in the night are still on the loose.

Maybe there’s a place in the magical ecosystem for something like magical girls, if they weren’t being exploited?

What about all the people who don’t know the myths are true, and make easy prey? What about people like us and seemingly Reynold, who are sleeping with the magical world and don’t know it?

I think we should bring the supernatural out of the shadows. The Japan group is already doing that.
>>
>>2843171
>If you want it, and I won't die
Did someone say SNU-SNU?
>>
>>2843348
Mankind used to pop out heroes by the truckload. The more relevant question is "Why aren't there tens of thousands of them roaming the earth at minimum with our modern population sizes?"
>>
>>2843171
>I want to heal up

> Where is Melon, anyways?
>>
>>2843171
We've got a party to prepare for
And wait till i heal
>>
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>>2843171
"Wait until I heal," you say, "as funny as it might be to die from being too much of a sexy beast (or you being too much of one)," and Liska laughs, "I think the coroner would put down 'wild animal attack', so I wouldn't get to go down in history."

"I'd make sure they write the right thing in the obituary and on the tombstone," Liska says, "but you know I wouldn't go that far. And we still have that safe word."

"Yeah," you say, "beats me why we thought you'd be the one needing it. Are you going to be ok tonight?"

"It's," she says, and pauses, "like tension building up," she tell you, then pecks you on the cheek, "and you just did a great job of releasing it. I'm more worried about Melon."

"We had a bit of a talk about that when I came in," you say, "she's fighting it, and she's thinking about about going to bed early. Alone. And getting her friends to drag her there, if necessary."

"Well," Liska says, "let's see how that plays out. Might work well - I don't think she's into girls."

Hopefully that came out in conversation, and not via other methods.

"Well," you say, stroking Liska's tails, "then we've got a party to prepare for. One where we're summoning a demon, we might have a fae show up, and if Dionysus is still in town - I think he might crash it for fun, like he did with our night out. So, a Greek god of wine and madness. Are you really sure you can handle all that?" you ask, looking into her eyes.

"If I can't," she says, then grins, "I'll grab you. I'm really going to need Shelby in the kitchen, though. I can cook, but he can manage a kitchen. And it sounds like we're going to be mass-producing food."

"I might be best to not have Melon in there too," you say, and Liska gives you a look.

"Yeah," she says, "that would definitely decrease his efficiency."

Then she stares at you with a forcedly deadpan expression, until she finally starts giggling.

"Oh my god," she says, "let's see how long we can hold the magnets apart. I get Shelby in the kitchen, and you get Melon and give threatening glares to any guy who comes near."

>I'd prefer to have a talk with him first
>I don't think she should be around me - I'll be at the grill where the guys gather
>This isn't nearly as hilarious as you think it is
>How about we both just keep an eye out for Melon?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2843883
>I'd prefer to have a talk with him first
>How about we both just keep an eye out for Melon?
Maybe also float
>I don't think she should be around me - I'll be at the grill where the guys gather
Don't think any of the dad-crew will try anything, but mostly about not torturing Melon too hard.
>>
>>2843890
This is good. Supportan
>>
>>2843890
sounds good
>>
>>2843883

>I'd prefer to have a talk with him first
>How about we both just keep an eye out for Melon?
>>
>>2843890
A sane answer. I like it.
>>
>>2843883
>>This isn't nearly as hilarious as you think it is
>I don't think she should be around me - I'll be at the grill where the guys gather
>I'd prefer to have a talk with him first
Liska seems be managing a little better, but we still need a more sustancial plan for if she cracks.
>>
>>2843883
>Shelby should be fine as long as he's warned. He should know better after what happened in Japan and I think he isn't stupid enough to realize how Melon would feel in the aftermath if he took advantage of her.
>I was thinking of making Mary stand guard but she might be needed if we unlock anyone's contract as a test and they can't control it or to try and keep Ellie in line before she calms down.
>>
>>2843890
Supporting
>>
>>2843890
>>2843883
Supporting this.
>>
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>>2843883
"How about we both just keep an eye out for Melon," you say, "and I'll talk to Shelby about what's going on."

"The good old 'polishing your shotgun on the front porch' routine?" Liska asks, like you're trying to deprive her of something.

"No," you say, "the 'I think he's probably a decent guy and respects her too much to take advantage of this' routine. It worked in Japan, after Melon hugged your mom."

"You still get him in the kitchen," you tell her.

"Well," she says, grinning, "his specialty IS stabbing. The countertops are just the right height too..."

"I'd pull the shotgun out for that," you say, and Liska laughs.

"I'm actually joking," she says, "and it's fun seeing that jealous look on your face."

"It's fun to see you being jealous, too," you tell her, "you swallow... pizza a lot better than Sue."

"You'd better be ready to go again," Liska says, smirking as positions herself on top of you, "after a line like that."

You are.

"I don't think it's a great idea for Melon to be around me tonight," you finally say after a while, with Liska spread all over you.

"Other than the obvious," she says, her head against yours, "why?"

"Men congregate around the grill," you tell her, "I don't think anyone would try anything, but that might be torture for her, if I'm reading all this correctly."

"You should have seen James' and Rob's faces this morning," Liska says and laughs again, right in your ear, "they could not get out of the house fast enough. You're probably right. We're going to have to rely on her friends."

"Harriet said she was going to be mostly sober," you say, "and I think Madison has a standing threat against 'foxes dragging people into bed'. Mary's damn strong, but we'll probably need her as insurance for Ellie."

"And the girls will naturally be around Melon," Liska says, "it should work. Oh, and I want to listen to this call with Shelby."

You sigh and dial.

"Hello, eldest brother," Shelby says, after picking up, "what's going on? This about the party?"

>I need you over early, for the kitchen
>I need you to keep in mind Melon's having a medical condition a lot like that time in Japan
>I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my daughter
>Kid, you've seen what my shotgun can do. And I'm betting you can't shrug it off
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2843890
>>2843883

This is the best plan.
>>
>>2843883
Okay, so I know it isn't his usual gig but I wonder if Dio can somehow actually HELP with Melon, instead of make things worse.
>>
>>2844190
>>I need you over early, for the kitchen
>Also Marion is having issues with her fox bloodline. It's temporary, but it's similar to the time she hugged her Grandma. I trust you understand.
>>
>>2844190
>>I need you to keep in mind Melon's having a medical condition a lot like that time in Japan
Not sure why we didn't just tell him once he got here, but whatever.
>>
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>>2844190
>I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my daughter
>Pic related
Not actually a vote, thanks anyways.

>>2844199
>>2844205
These are good.
>>
>>2844190
>I need you over early, for the kitchen
>I need you to keep in mind Melon's having a medical condition a lot like that time in Japan
>Listen, I'll understand if both of you... take the next step and all. It might actually help with the situation a bit. Just keep in mind that she's feeling it intensely, and I am not being hyperbolic about it.
>Also, I'm just going to drop the whole "Overprotective Dad" standard bullshit for tonight. Do what you feel like you should do, as long as you know you can be responsible for it.
>>
>>2844190
>I need you over early, for the kitchen
>I need you to keep in mind Melon's having a medical condition a lot like that time in Japan
>>
>>2844190
>I need you to keep in mind Liska and Melon's having a medical condition a lot like that time in Japan
>If you do get tempted, you should keep in mind that Melon may not be too thrilled with you deciding to take advantage of her for that when things wear off. I will react accordingly.
>And let Kelly know that the lady he met in Russia might show up. It would hopefully be peaceful but I'm not suggesting you be unable to defend yourself. She might be a fae, but I can't tell if she knows that or not from her earlier phone call. (which is kinda weird?)
>>
>>2844251
Supporting as well.
>>
>>2843449
>"Why aren't there tens of thousands of them roaming the earth at minimum with our modern population sizes?"
Because they are already. The only problem is that those heroes don't bring click/views/money. You need dirty laundry in order to make money.
>>
>>2844269
I think you're "slightly" underestimating how absurd heroes can get. People in this setting are scared of city busters when dudes that can stand up to their gods are routine depending upon the location.
India should logically be so overpowered due to faith bonuses and population that them having nukes is probably a hoax to explain why noone is retarded enough to fuck with them currently.
>>
>>2844269
>>2844287
I mean India has an actual "You should not be alive according to the laws of science" medal for soldiers. If that doesn't scream their army being staffed with supersoldiers then I don't know what does.
>>
>>2844287
oh, THAT kind of heroes. I think that they either understand that humanity need to stand up by itself, so they stand in the background, fighting the things that humanity can't, or they realize that they can be/do something better and fuck off to space or explore the uncharted parts of the earth.
>>
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>>2844190
"Sort of," you say, "I would like it if you were over early to help with the kitchen and the grill," and you flip the thing to speakerphone. Liska wanted to listen.

"I'd be happy to help," Shelby says, "this is really about Melon, isn't it?"

Liska starts giggling softly beside you, muffling her mouth with her hand.

"How did you guess?" you ask.

"She texted me about it," Shelby says, "it sounds like deja vu for that thing in Japan."

"Then I guess you understand," you tell him, "bloodline thing, and all that. She's not exactly herself. I'm not pulling the overprotective dad stuff with you - do what you think you should do, just be responsible."

Shelby sighs into the phone.

"This is a strange thing to say," he says, "but can you keep her away from me tonight?"

Wait, what?

Liska's burying her face in a pillow so she doesn't make too much noise, but you can feel her body shaking with laughter.

"You said Melon's, well, uh," Shelby says, and takes an audible breath, "not exactly herself. And I've read what she's sent me - I'm doing what I think I should do."

"We'll try to keep her out of the kitchen," you say, "but you know how people mill around at these things. I can't be everywhere at once. Her friends might be able to do a better job."

"Are you ok with me using violence if things get crazy?" Shelby asks.

You wonder what the hell Melon was sending him.

"Don't do something stupid like stabbing her through the heart," Liska says, "but yeah, I'm cool with that."

Then she whispers in you ear: "and I've done this before, so trust me - violence really needs to be on the table here."

Shelby gasps.

"I wouldn't do that!" he says, "and how many people are on speakerphone?"

"Both her parents," you say, "and maybe anyone in the house with supernatural hearing."

>On the advice of my better half, violence is authorized
>Don't dare hurt my girl - physically or emotionally
>Brother, I think you've got your head screwed on straight. We'll try to help
>On second thought, you should probably stay home tonight
>I want to talk to your dad about the woman he faced in Russia
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2844350
>>On the advice of my better half, violence is authorized
>Brother, I think you've got your head screwed on straight. We'll try to help
>>
>>2844350
>>On the advice of my better half, violence is authorized
>Brother, I think you've got your head screwed on straight. We'll try to help.
>>
>>2844350
>I'm ok with violence, but I was hoping that your dad might have some sort of magical restraints that he uses if he has to kidnap something powerful hidden in your basement.
>Speaking of your father. I gotta talk to him about that woman he met in Russia.
>>
>>2844350
>On the advice of my better half, violence is authorized but it better not turn into kinky times

You should talk to your dad about the woman he faced in Russia
>>
>>2844350
>On the advice of my better half, violence is authorized
>Brother, I think you've got your head screwed on straight. We'll try to help
>I don't suppose your dad might have some sort of magical restraints that he uses if he has to kidnap something powerful hidden in your basement.
>Speaking of your father. I gotta talk to him about that woman he met in Russia.
>>
>>2844350
>>Brother, I think you've got your head screwed on straight. We'll try to help
I suspect the response he'll get to the Russian question is something along the lines of "I've met a lot of women in Russia".
>>
>>2844350

>On the advice of my better half, violence is authorized. Just in case things get screwy.
>Brother, I think you've got your head screwed on straight. We'll try to help
>>
>>2844378
Supportan
>>
>>2844350
>On the advice of my better half, violence is authorized

> Shit. I would understand if this was all too much for you. But dealing with this is part of dating fox girls. Apparently.
>>
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>>2844350
"And on the advice of my better half," you say, "and the fact that magical girls and kitsune regenerate, and that attempted murder is apparently 'hello' in your circles, you are authorized to use violence, if ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. And remember that the worst wounds you can give someone are only metaphorically on their heart."

"Melon," you say, "I know you can hear us. Those ears aren't just for show. And I think you're right outside my bedroom door anyway."

Silence.

You hear a text message notification from Shelby's phone through yours, and Liska laughs.

Well, that's confirmation.

"I think this is the weirdest style of conversation I've had," you say, to nobody in particular.

"Brother," you say to Shelby, "I think you've got your head screwed on straight. Melon, I think you're making the best of a bad situation, and doing a damn good job. We'll try to help. And I, Christ, I didn't think I'd ever be talking to my daughter through a shut door."

"The books on parenting teenagers did warn about that," Liska says, grinning.

"There's no way to make this sound kosher," Shelby says, "but there's some stuff dad's got in the basement to restrain powerful beings."

You hear his phone buzz again.

And Shelby makes a rather inexplicable noise. Liska starts laughing, then whispers "like mother, like daughter," in your ear.

"I can't even begin to tell all of you how much I hate this situation," you say, "but bring the stuff, I guess. I think we all realize where we are here."

More silence.

Then you hear Shelby's phone buzz again.

"Melon," Liska says, "I don't need three guesses for that one. You're in dead heat, for the first time. You are going to regret saying that. Ask me how I know."

"Fine," Melon says, throwing open your bedroom door, "how DO you know?"

You cut the speakerphone.

"Because I did regret it," Liska says, snaking across the bed to face Melon, "never," she tells her daughter, sounding very serious, "start something when you're in heat. And you have it really bad."

Melon takes several very deep breaths, letting them out slowly.

"Don't take this the wrong way," she finally says, looking at Liska, and then at you, "but - hell, I envy you, mom. I'll stay in my room tonight," she says, then darts off down the hall, and you hear a deadbolt slam.

Liska sighs.

"I'm not sure I handled that well," she says, getting out of bed, "but hopefully it's ok."

>Shelby, tell your dad I need to talk to him about Russia
>Shelby, I think you got a good idea what you might be getting into
>Liska, I'm not sure there was a way to handle that well.
>Unfortunately, we have a party to prepare for
>WRITE IN (directed at Shelby on the phone, Liska, or both)
>>
>>2844584
>>Shelby, tell your dad I need to talk to him about Russia
>Unfortunately, we have a party to prepare for
>>
>>2844584
>Shelby, I think you got a good idea what you might be getting into
>Unfortunately, we have a party to prepare for
>>
>>2844584
>Good luck, kid.
>Shelby, tell your dad I need to talk to him about Russia
>>
>>2844584
> Liska, I think you handled that as well as it could be done, and that we're lucky to have someone like you be here for her while she's going through this. You're a great wife and a better Mom.
>>
>>2844584
>Hopefully she’ll thank you for it in the future honey.
>Shelby, tell your dad Russia is on the agenda. Also get yourself some bandages on hand just in case.
> Now we gotta go and prep for the party kiddo.
>After call is ended plow Liska one last time so she’s set.
>>
HaikuXBed ship continues.

Next runtime on the twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Sorry about the spotty posts today.
>>
>>2844645
>HaikuXBed
Does it mean that we'll eventual get smutfics about this?
>>
>>2844647
You've got a keyboard in front of you, anon. The world is your oyster.
>>
>>2844645
>Haiku stretches his body his bones popping from sitting hours in front of computers
>suddenly a squeaky voice told Haiku
>Haiku sama come hug me...im so cold
>another voice cuts the squeaky voice
>Don't listen to floorchan come here in my body. Im very comfy
>Floorchan knows that she can't compete to bedchan who is superior in every way
>Floorchan can't help but whimper hoping tha-
>Haiku collapsed
>Bedchan is shoked
>Floorchan suddenly embarrased how she isnt decent to accomodate his Haikusama
>silence premeates the room only Haiku sleepy breathing with an occasional snore coming out of his mouth.
>knowing the two girls that they shouldn't bother Haiku sama with his slumber the two also sleep
>But deep inside that today Floorchan won. Haiku is sleeping on top of him. She will savor this feeling for the rest of the night

Hope y'all happy with this.
>>
>>2844689
>The world is your oyster.
But Anon I hate most types of seafood.

>>2844695
It's fantastic Anon. 10/10 Would vote for again.
>>
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>>2844695
H-hot
>>
>>2844645
Damnit, floor is gonna get jealous. Also, storms suck about 30 minutes after I made my post my power cut for like 6 hours.
>>
>>2844695
Now do the HaikuXBooze one
>>
What if zeus comes ffor our daughter now......
>>
>>2844993
He's landlocked to the greek achipelago senpai, nothing to fear from him.
>>
>>2845051
>Sky god
>Landlocked
Good one anon. Yuki would be proud.
>>
>>2845122
Not metion he could just thow a lighting bolt at us or make storms if we ever fly
>>
>>2845390
Storms are Poseidon's domain. The only part of a storm Zeus has anything to do with are the lightning bolts.
>>
>>2844925
The long neck of the bottle called out to me. I took it in my hand, not lovingly, but as something that could satisfy a need.

Something that would kill me one day, but I didn't care. I unscrewed the cap again, and fumbled it out of my fingers. I'd find it eventually, but there was a more important thing to do.

Feel its liquid gushing down my throat. I raised the bottle, into that perfect position, and felt the tingle as that indescribable sensation rushed through me.

I managed to put it back down before I coughed, the strong flow savaging the back of my throat, burning.


This is probably something I shouldn't have written.
>>
>>2845463
Fukken saved!
>>
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>>2845463
screencaped
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>>2845463
Well, you're not wrong.

Mostly because it's prose more purple than a battered housewife. I think you can do better, eroticism with emotion!
>>
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>>2844584
"Not sure there was a good way to handle that," you tell your wife, "and hopefully she'll thank you in the future."

"Maybe," Liska says, turning her head to give you a strange look.

"Your mom was already gone when it hit you, wasn't she?" you ask, "Melon's lucky to have someone like you here for her while-"

Then she's on top of you again, pinning you down on the bed.

"Hey," Liska says, "want to know what I think that text read?"

"No," you tell her, "I really don't."

"Too bad," she says, her hot breath pounding into your face, "it was probably something like 'tie me up, hold me down and-'"

"HOLY SHIT I CAN STILL HEAR YOU GUYS!" Shelby screams from your phone, "and I thought my folks were bad."

"I think you get the picture," you say into the phone, "good luck, prep for the party, bring bandages (hopefully nobody's going to need them), and tell your dad Russia's on the agenda tonight."

"How about I just hand him my phone and you tell him?" Shelby asks. You can almost hear the smirk in his voice, before the confused noises of someone walking while holding a phone.

You mute your end of the conversation, and somehow manage to flip yourself atop Liska.

"Because that what's you would have sent?" you ask her.

"Obviously," she says, panting under you, "'exercising restraint' has several meanings."

"And you said she'd regret all but the obvious one," you tell her, "you're a good mom, whether you think it or not."

"Thanks," she whispers, "and you're a simply awful husband for getting me going again like that."

"Take it as a compliment," she breathes out.

"Hello?" Kelly's voice says from your phone, and you unmute it.

"You remember our conversation about the Russian nightclub incident?" you ask him, as Liska writhes beneath you, grinning.

"No," he says, "I'm guessing that was after I ordered carbombs the other night, because I don't remember much after that."

"Scarborough Fair is going to be at the thing tonight," you tell him, and hear Kelly take a sharp breath, "that name mean anything to you? What about 'Parsley', 'Sage', 'Rosemary', or 'Thyme'?."

"Fuck," Kelly says, "she's alive? I put a magazine through her chest back in Russia."

"You told me you had bad aim," you say.

"I have great aim," Kelly says, "but I say some stupid shit when I'm drunk. I guess you want to make sure I keep things peaceful tonight."

"Thought I'd warn you," you say, "so you two don't have a firefight in my driveway. She's coming with my assistant."

"Wait, she's with that guy?" he asks, and Liska laughs, "did I do something stupid the other night?"

"You gave her a ten year head start," you tell him, "when she came to drag him out of the bar."

"I vaguely remember some of that, now that you're jogging my memory," he says, "and I think I was going to fight you and you gave a speech or something. Jesus, this is why I don't get drunk. Did that guy actually shove her down on a table and not get his face punched in?"

[1/2]
>>
>>2846374
[2/2]

"That did happen," you tell him, "I hear she's a Leanan sídhe or something," and you hope you're pronouncing it right.

"Poor guy," Kelly says, "but you should be able to give him some tips," and he laughs.

Liska laughs again, and says "oh, he can."

"Does explain how she's still going," Kelly says in a rather meditative voice, "I'm bringing the cold iron, just in case."

"Bring anything you've got that can kill gods, too," you tell him, "also, I hear you've got some stuff for restraining supernaturals?"

"It sounds like this is going to be one hell of a party," he says, "I'll start preparing."

And he hangs up.

"It seems like I've got another important bit of preparation to do," you tell Liska, looking down into her eyes.

"Be rough," she says, as you hold her wrists down on the bed.

"Did that talk about supernatural restraints really..?" you ask.

"Of course," she says, "but mostly you saying I was a great mother."

"You're a good wife, too," you tell her, and kiss her.

She wants to sub? She gets to sub.

A while later, you're lying next to her again, and say "alright, I'm not a young man anymore. I'm not sure I can keep up with you."

"You've done a great job so far," she says, "and we've got a party to prepare for."

"Are you going to go off again if someone says the wrong thing?" you ask, as she gets off of the bed and head for the shower.

"If I do," she says, turning her head to look back at you, "you'll be the first to know," and she grins.

"I need a shower too," you say, levering yourself off the bed.

Some time afterward, you're walking down the hallway, freshly-washed and in clean clothes. You glance at Melon's door as you pass - it's still locked.

You stop in front of it.

"Kiddo," you say, "I think you made the right choice for tonight. And, well, I'm sorry this is happening and I'm not sure exactly what's going on. Or I'm all too sure. But you are doing your damndest to fight it, and I'm proud of you for that."

You don't get a response, even though you wait for a bit before continuing toward the kitchen.

Seems like James and the rest of the camper crew have gotten back - they're unloading groceries onto the counters.

It's still a bit odd to see a guy doing domestic things with a demonic hand. At least Rob wears gloves most of the time.

"Thanks for the help," you say.

>James, I hear you made a Home Depot run - what's that have to do with killing gods?
>Alright, folks, I need you to be not on hair-triggers tonight
>Have fun apartment-shopping?
>Ok, tonight's going to be crazy
>Rob, how's your relationship with your hand?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2846491
>Alright, folks, I need you to be not on hair-triggers tonight
>James, I hear you made a Home Depot run - what's that have to do with killing gods?
>>
>>2846491

>James, I hear you made a Home Depot run - what's that have to do with killing gods?
>Alright, folks, I need you to be not on hair-triggers tonight
>inb4 Zeus kidnapped Melon.
>>
>>2846491
>Alright, folks, I need you to be not on hair-triggers tonight
>James, I hear you made a Home Depot run - what's that have to do with killing gods?
>>
>>2846491
>Have fun apartment-shopping?
>Alright, folks, I need you to be not on hair-triggers tonight
>James, I hear you made a Home Depot run - what's that have to do with killing gods?
>>
>>2846491
>It's good to be prepared but we also need to not be on hair triggers today. You've been on the other end of it so you can understand how expecting a fight might go wrong.
>We've got a reasonably protective girlfriend (considering how dangerous magic tends to go) possibly coming over,possibly a god of drunken insanity, and then when we summon Ellie which is gonna get all of us in various moods. I think we can all agree to save her for last.
>Now what sort of meal am I making with Shelby tonight?
>Apparently you really can buy anything at a hardware store. They have a special hidden section for all of that god killing junk or is it in plain view?
>>
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>>2846491
"Least we could do," James says, looking over at you.

"Thanks," you say, "I'm going to need a bit more, though. I need you all to not be on hair triggers tonight. We are summoning Ellie, we might have a leanan sídhe coming over (and she seems like a protective girlfriend), and there's a chance Dionysus is going to crash this party."

"Alright," Rob says, glaring at his hand, which is holding a cream of mushroom can, "rules of engagement?" He sets the can on the counter.

"Don't start something," you say, "they start something, we try to talk them down. They really go for it - well," you say, looking at Myrna, "someone here has shot down satellites accidentally."

"You sound like Madison," Roxy says, putting a plastic bag down on the counter.

"Do I get to kill a god?" Myrna asks, and you could swear she has stars in her eyes,.

"We/I want the first go," Rob tells her, "if it comes to that. You want to kill him. This guy," he says, flexing his hand, "wants to eat him."

"Fight me for it," Freebles says, poking his head out of your pocket, "a god sounds tasty."

"How about we split him?" Rob asks the ferret, "unless you really just want to fight me/us."

"This is Exhibit A of what I don't want," you say, "although you're all being pretty civil about it. Start spouting off like that, and we'll have a war instead of a dinner party. Also, Freebles, get out of my pants. You can perch on my shoulder if you want."

The ferret swarms up you, and settles on your shoulder, then twines his long body around the back of your neck.

"If we do kill a god tonight," he tells Rob, "I want the organs. You can take the rest."

"Deal," Rob says, "I/we want the meat. And we're just talking hypotheticals here," he finishes, looking you dead in the face, with those mismatched eyes.

"Please don't talk them while we have guests over," you say, and you hear footsteps behind you.

Madison pushes her way into the kitchen, which is fast becoming crowded.

"I think I heard my name?" she says, and looks at Roxy.

"I was saying this guy," Roxy tells her, jerking her head in your direction, "sounds like you."

"You guys should have grabbed me to help unload the stuff," Madison says, "and I'm taking that as a compliment, Roxy. I said something similar earlier."

"We had enough people," James tells her, "although I do need to go grab the Home Depot bags. Can you show me where to put them in the garage?" he asks you.

"Sure," you tell him, and he leaves the kitchen with you following.

"So," you ask, "what does a Home Depot run have to do with killing gods?"

[1/2]
>>
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>>2846640
>Also, Freebles, get out of my pants.
May not have been the intention but it still made me laff.
>>
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>>2846640
"Well," James says over his shoulder, "have you ever tried the Osiris Protocol without a reciprocating saw?"

"Have you?" you ask, following him down the hallway.

"No," he tells you, "I haven't even done it with one. But I know the theory. And power tools would make it a lot easier. I needed to restock on permanent markers, spray paint, and string anyway. Besides, I heard we might need cold iron tonight, and you can buy it in bulk there. A leanan sídhe, hey?" he asks, opening the door to the garage.

"It's unconfirmed," you tell him, "but I think you've met her. Remember the girl who dragged Reynold out of the bar the other night?"

"If she is one," James says, opening the back of your minivan, "I give him six months, tops. He didn't seem too sturdy. Where do you want this stuff?"

"On the workbench," you say, helping him unload bags of hardware, and a few two-by-fours, "what's with all the rest of it?"

"I wanted to be on the safe side," he tells you, "prepping against demons, vampires, the whole lot. The two-by-fours are for making a cross - there's good precedent for killing gods on those, and we could at least nail him to it until Rob and your pet ferret finish their dinner."

"I wanted insurance," you say, "not a plan to feed a god to a ferret and a half-demon."

"Well," James says, dusting off his hands, "that is insurance. Although I kind of like Dionysus, from what I've heard. Never met him myself, but a god of wine and madness can't be too bad of a guy, right?"

"He didn't seem to be," you say, "but I'd still be very uncomfortable if he showed up, given what else is going on right now," and you look James in the eyes.

"I can definitely understand that," he says, with a look of complete understand, and the two of you head back inside.

>It's time to cook
>It's time for guests to arrive
>It's time to talk to someone about something [WRITE IN]
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2846690

>It's time to cook
>>
>It's time for guests to arrive
>It's time to cook
>>
>>2846690
>It's time to cook
Did someone say BACON BURGERS?
>>
>>2846690
>It's time for guests to arrive
>It's time to cook
>>2846712
Get that pleb shit out of here
>>
>>2846690
>It's time for guests to arrive
>>
>>2846690
>>It's time for guests to arrive
>>
>>2846690
>It's time to cook
To the grill?
>>
>>2846826
What about Ribeye?
>>
>>2846881
I'm still waiting for someone we hate to show up uninvited so we can serve them a well done steak.
>>
>>2846889
Let's just skip that part and give them a steak that's pretty much all but charcoal.
>>
>>2846896
No, it has to be badly cooked but arguably still edible.

Clearly you would expect nobody to actually eat charcoal. It is far more insulting to imply that someone has bad enough taste however that they might actually eat a well done steak.
>>
>>2846918
I will concede to your wisdom anon. You know more about the art of steak than I do.
>>
>>2846939
It's more about the art of insulting.
>>
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>>2846690
"By the way," he asks, as the two of you walk into the house, "how are they doing?"

"Liska seems alright for the time being," you say, as you hear the doorbell ring, "Melon's locked herself in her room, and if you go in there..."

"It'll be a race between you, your wife, her, her friends, and Madison to see who kills me first?" James asks, with a smile on his face as you hear Liska welcome someone into the house, "this is not the first time I've seen something like this, and I'm steering as far clear of it as I can."

"Wonderful," you say, walking into the foyer, "it's time to cook."

"I'm here to play Jesse to your Walter White," Shelby says, looking around Liska at you.

"How many traffic laws did you break to get here that fast?" you ask him.

"Our house isn't that far away," he says, carrying a rather large suitcase, "and you said you wanted me over early to help with prep. And, well, you guys seemed to want this... stuff," he finishes awkwardly, holding the suitcase up as Liska shakes with silent laughter.

"Put it down somewhere," she tells him, "we'll grab it if we need it," she says, shooting you a look.

Alright, that's a suitcase full of supernatural bondage equipment Shelby's setting down in the parlor, unless you've completely missed your guess. Wonderful.

It's anyone's guess who it ends up on by the end of the night. There are several candidates.

And they'd probably all enjoy it.

"We're cooking things a lot more complex than meth," you say, "and you're managing the kitchen, by popular request," you tell him, looking at Liska, who winks back at you, "let's do this."

"Alright," he says, following you into the kitchen. The crowd clears out pretty fast - apparently some of the camper crew were previous victims of his kitchen press gang.

People keep trickling into the house by twos and threes, including W, who somehow teleports his entire family and a metric fuckton of booze into the middle of your living room. That gets some irate noises from the folks playing fighting games on the TV. Apparently he managed to entirely block the television during a rather intense match.

You don't want to start grilling until everyone's here, although the meat's been prepared excellently. And people actually brought sides this time.

Finally the doorbell rings again, and you're only expecting one more set of people.

A set you should probably welcome personally.

"I think I need to get this," you say to the kitchen at large, "someone take over for me."

Within seconds, you're opening the door to Reynold and 'Rosemary'.

"I figured we had the right place when I saw all the cars parked out front," your assistant says, "did the cops already show up? There was a squad car out there."

"They're personal friends," you say, "and welcome."

>I'm afraid we're going to need to test your plus-one with cold iron
>I hope you enjoy tonight, and don't start anything
>This is going to be a more extreme party than you're used to
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2846955
>>I hope you enjoy tonight, and don't start anything
>>
>>2846955
>I hope you enjoy tonight, and don't start anything
>>
>>2846955
>This is going to be a more extreme party than you're used to.
>I hope you enjoy tonight, and don't start anything.
>>
>>2846968
Supporting
>>
>>2846955
>I hope you enjoy tonight, and don't start anything.
> Let Shelby know about any allergies, he's running the kitchen.

> Careful around the kitchen BTW, some of the equipment might have cold iron
>>
>>2846955
>>I hope you enjoy tonight, and don't start anything
>>This is going to be a more extreme party than you're used to
>>
>>2846955
>I hope you enjoy tonight, and don't start anything
>This is going to be a more extreme party than you're used to
>>
>>2846955
>>I hope you enjoy tonight, and don't start anything
>>This is going to be a more extreme party than you're used to
>>
>>2846955
>This is going to be a more extreme party than you're used to
>I hope you enjoy tonight, and don't start anything
>>
>>2846955
I may have made a host of bad decisions so things may get a bit more... extreme than you were expecting. (Point in the general direction of Melon's room) My daughter has spontaneously developed the ability to go into heat atm, so everyone is banned from going anywhere near there for obvious reasons. Rosemary, you aren't going to have any issues with Kelly? I told him to not try to start any fights and I'm hoping you can do the same.
Any outside perspectives are welcome and especially if they can make things less fucked up. Our cover is that the girls made a softball team, so Rosemary's an auntie if anyone asks. (blah blah blah)
Our client D Onasis is considering stopping by and We're probably going to end the night with giving those tickets to my sister since she tends to cause side effects.
This dude with the sweet tats is freebles. If you saw anything like him near any teenage girls you knew then it's almost certain to be the reason you never saw them again.
>>
>>2846955
>>WRITE IN
Actually should we take Rosemary aside and tell her exactly what she's dealing with? Just so she isn't on edge due to her imagination conjuring up bullshit.
>>
>>2846955
>>2846968
Support but also a bit of
>>2847330
I figure she already knows about "The Angel of Death"... hopefully. But an extra warning about his presence and also the rest of the artillery in the region that is here or possibly will be arriving would be a good idea.

Don't need the poor girl losing her shit if Dionysus shows up or a dragon and a 1000 year old knight drop in, along with a Duchess of Hell and freshly "battle" worn Kitsune being ported in to the party.

I am sure Reynolds has already shared the anecdotes about how we can make it feel like the air is trying to crush him and that we decided to dick measure with a literal god in our office while visibly, to his eyes, not succumbing to it. So she might think we are something far worse than we are and are just trying to keep Reynold calm by saying "Nah, I am just a dad, just a normal human dad who likes to barbecue and keep a leash on a fox-wife and who brings the dragon-boss in from a night out like it is no big deal. You know, normal human fatherly things that humans like us do."

I can just see her though process when she sees everyone "Okay, so this guy says he is a normal human. But he has a Kitsune wife who is eyeing him up and he has survived her heat. A Kitsune daughter in heat who he has succesfully utilized the legendary 'Dad-Force' to keep in her room. At least 3-4 possibly 5 (counting W's daughter) wizards seemingly loyal and sworn to him, one of whom is the infamous Kelly Edwards and his son. A respectable army of magical girls, atleast one of whom seems to be eyeing him just like his wife. The Demon Chief of Police and some Half-Demon lab experiment. A magical girl creating ferret. A Duchess of Hell for a big sister, and apparently a legion of demons who are loyal to his pet Police Chief. Oh and he is on equal terms apparently with a FUCKING DRAGON and is cordial with a FUCKING GOD...of drinking and..fucking. Yeah, NORMAL HUMAN MY ASS. WTF is he REALLY?!" She then proceeds to snoop around the house trying to find our secret magic-creature room where we hide all of our shed-skins or tomes or cut off wings or whatever.

Damn this post got long fast.
>>
>>2846955
>>I hope you enjoy tonight, and don't start anything
>>This is going to be a more extreme party than you're used to
Is Freebles still on our shoulder?
>So, I heard a rumor about an allergy to cold iron your plus one might have...
>>
>>2847356
Having an interlude from her perspective as she uncovers our uncommonly boring dad things would be hilarious.
>>
Ah, we've gotten the write-ins. Now this is questing, once I write this stuff up.

>>2847328
>If you saw anything like him near any teenage girls you knew then it's almost certain to be the reason you never saw them again.
Jesus, that sounds dark. Well, I guess it is.
>>2847356
>I figure she already knows about "The Angel of Death"... hopefully.
They had a standoff in a bar the other night when she came to pick up her drunk boyfriend.
>Okay, so this guy says he is a normal human...
When you put it like that, it sounds like I'm writing one of those isekai power trips. Which maybe technically I am - talking about the supernatural side of things as another world and all.
Although I will note that people have been doing their own things for their own reasons. And the MC has not magically made people's problems disappear by punching noblemen in the face.
>>2847393
>Is Freebles still on our shoulder?
Yes. He's on both shoulders, like the most bloodthirsty neck-pillow nobody wants to have.
>>2847480
Be careful what you wish for.
>>
>>2846955
>This is going to be a more extreme party than you're used to
Dont die
>>
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>>2846955
"I hope you enjoy tonight," you say, "and please," you continue, looking at Rosemary, "don't start anything. The guest list is rather extreme."

"Alright," she says, "I won't start anything, but I'm going to say this before I cross your threshold," and Reynold gives her an odd look, "I will defend myself, and him," she finishes, slapping Reynold on the back.

"Thanks," he mutters at her, although he's standing tall, and he looks you straight in the eyes and says, "this sounds more and more dangerous."

"I'm just taking precautions, and I'm not going to make you surrender your weapons," you tell the two of them, "but I'll ask you to surrender any grudges you might have against people under my roof."

"The Angel of Death is here, isn't he?" Rosemary asks, and smiles, "he gave me a ten-year head start. I'll respect that. I surrender my grudges against anyone under your roof for tonight. Until dawn."

Judging from the look on Reynold's face, he's still getting used to all this. And you feel a weird tingle down your spine, as if her grudges really nestled there.

"How about 'on my property'?" you ask.

Rosemary smirks at you for an instant, then says, "that too. But if something starts..." she trails off as that tingle intensifies.

"I'll appreciate your help if D. Onassis crashes," you tell her, "and I accept."

"That client?" Reynold asks, "oh hell, he is the god of partying super hard. Sounds like fun, honestly."

You feel Liska embrace you from behind, and you see Rosemary's face stiffen, and then she smiles.

"I was hoping to meet you," she tells your wife.

"You don't get guest right until you cross our threshold," Liska says over your shoulder, "and I can smell wha-"

Rosemary puts her foot through the door, planting it on the tiles of the foyer, and says "I've agreed to the conditions. And now I'm your fucking guest."

Liska laughs, right past your ear, then whispers, barely loud enough for you to hear, "he doesn't know. She wants to keep it that way. But she's definitely fae."

"Is this some sort of assassin thing?" Reynold asks, as he puts his foot over the line too.

"Something like that," Liska tells him, as Rosemary glares daggers at her, and you realize what kind of expandable definition 'starting anything' has.

"Well, welcome to my house," you say, hoping to defuse things, "and the deep end."

"What's with the ferret?" Rosemary asks you, recovering quickly.

>Do you want to pet him?
>My sworn brother. He's a bit magical
>If you saw anything like him near any teenage girls you knew then it's almost certain to be the reason you never saw them again
>You two are going to fit right in
>Can I offer the two of you anything?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2847632
>>My sworn brother. He's a bit magical
>>Can I offer the two of you anything?
>>
>>2847632
>My sworn brother. He's a bit magical
>If you saw anything like him near any teenage girls you knew then it's almost certain to be the reason you never saw them again
>Can I offer the two of you anything?
>>
>>2847632
>My sworn brother. He's a bit magical
>If you saw anything like him near any teenage girls you knew then it's almost certain to be the reason you never saw them again
>>He's not like that anymore, thankfully.

>Can I offer the two of you anything?
>>
>>2847632
>My sworn brother. He's a bit magical
>Can I offer the two of you anything?
>>
>>2847642
>>2847632
supportin
>>
>>2847632
Well at least now it's explained whether or not she's a fae child (orphan?) that somehow didn't know she was one.
>I'm assuming Reynold blabbed about those leonine contracts he was looking at while drunk. (He's really bad at keeping secrets while drunk) His coworkers and boss(es?) are behind that. I haven't run any numbers but it seems like you could probably blame the bastards on any teenage girls you might have known that suddenly disappeared one day. As a parent I am less than pleased with the situation and ended up finding some like minded fellows. And keep our little group hush hush. If his bosses find out about us I'm guessing that this whole city is gonna be collateral damage.
>>
>>2847632
>My sworn brother. He's a bit magical
>If you saw anything like him near any teenage girls you knew then it's almost certain to be the reason you never saw them again
>Can I offer the two of you anything?
>>
>>2847632
>>My sworn brother. He's a bit magical
>>If you saw anything like him near any teenage girls you knew then it's almost certain to be the reason you never saw them again

>puts her foot through the door,
through the doorframe, or did she just wreck our door.

>"he doesn't know. She wants to keep it that way. But she's definitely fae."
a fae assassin? huh. We're going to have to have a discussion with her about her particular type, if she's leeching his soul, and other unfortunately necessary questions before we agree to keep[ that secret.
>>
>>2847690
>through the doorframe, or did she just wreck our door
Through the doorframe - over the threshold. The door was already open.
It's actually rather similar to what the MC did in Japan.
The fact that she's playing on a field of specific agreements and guest rights says something by itself.
>>
>>2847632
> You don't recognize him? Interesting.
>>
>>2847632
Do you want to pet him?
>>
>>2847690
The fuck? No, we don't need to interfere with her life at all. Don't under any circumstance involve yourself with the fae, goddamn.

We already fucked the dog on that one but Christ let's not dig ourselves a deeper grave and especially not by insulting her like that
>>
>>2847849
Not trying to be invasive, I just want to make sure she's not slowly killing him or anything else that might affect his ability to work for us. Anything past that is between them.
>>
>>2847876
She's already overprotective of him and he was ok with being with her despite the inherent danger of her mundane job. The most you'll manage with that attitude is to piss the both of them off at us too much to be mad at each other for her keeping that a secret.
>>
>>2847876
Two things

1 she is a fae
2 it's none of our business
>>
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>>2847632
"My sworn brother," you say, "he's a bit magical."

"I think we met before," Freebles tells Reynold, "I still think your kidneys would be-"

Liska clamps his mouth shut with a hand.

"I don't care if you're joking," she says, "but you'd better be - they're guests," and then releases him.

"So this is kind of what I was talking about the other night," Reynold says to Rosemary, "this is how magical stuff is."

"I was joking," Freebles says, "thought you needed a decent scare."

"That's two people I get to put down as already starting something," Rosemary says, glaring at you.

"Ok," you tell her, "if you go off on banter, you need to leave."

"I'm not going off," she says, "I'm just-" and she cuts herself off, with a look at Reynold.

Liska steps forward and hugs her.

"I'm your hostess," your wife says, "and we're going to have a really fun talk."

Rosemary stiffens, and you prepare for the worst.

"How do you take your bullets?" she asks.

Ok, this is bad, but-

"With cream and sugar," Liska tells her, "come on, lay off. You don't have a target tonight."

"Can you please not kill each other on our doorstep?" you ask.

"I get it now," Rosemary says, "you're a fox wife, aren't you?"

"I haven't run off yet," Liska tells her, "so I guess I'm not living up to the legend. I think we might have some things to discuss," and then she whispers something in Rosemary's ear.

Rosemary's face is an utter mask.

"Can I offer the two of you anything?" you ask the trio on your porch.

"Stiff drink," Rosemary says.

Then Liska drags Rosemary inside, saying "oh, I'll get you slammed," leaving you to stare at your assistant.

"I'll have what she's having," Reynold says.

"You'd better be talking about the drink," you tell him with a scowl.

"Of course," Reynold says, following you inside, "so what's on tap?"

"I admit, I'd have to sort through the bottles," you say, walking into the foyer, "don't get wasted. That'll cause problems. And you girl's going to need a designated driver once Liska's done with her."

"Oh hey," W says, clapping Reynold on the shoulder, "it's you again! Back for more?"

"I'm not singing Come Out Ye Black And Tans again," Reynold tells him, as you see Liska rummaging through the bottles and cans W brought, with Rosemary in tow.

>I need to chat with my wife. Liska, please don't do what I think you're going to
>Why don't we head out to the grill?
>Foxy lady, let's not blitz it like Poland this time
>What do you know about fae, W?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2847969
>Foxy lady, let's not blitz it like Poland this time
The frat party thing will make it more likely for a fight to crop up.
>What do you know about fae, W?
Let's separate fact from fairy tale, and see how screwed Reynold is.
>>
>>2847969
>>Why don't we head out to the grill?
>>
>>2847969
>Just grab a glass and chill, everyone isn't here yet.
i think we're still missing most girls and Kelly?
>>
>>2847987
>i think we're still missing most girls and Kelly?
I think that was skimmed over in:
>>2846968
>People keep trickling into the house by twos and threes
>and you're only expecting one more set of people
Reynold and Rosemary were the last invited group to arrive. You can safely assume everyone's here, including the police.
>>
>>2847969
>Foxy lady,Dionysus will get everyone drunker than a skunk just by existing, at least let everyone have the serious discussions we were going to have before breaking out that much booze. It'll also be a bit useless to have those talks if noone remembers what the hell we were talking about,so get a head start instead of making everyone sloshed is what i'm saying..
>>
>>2848009
my bad
switching to
>Why don't we head out to the grill?
>>
>>2847969
>Foxy lady, let's not blitz it like Poland this time
>Why don't we head out to the grill?
>>
>>2847969
>Just grab a glass and chill, everyone isn't here yet
>>
>>2847969
>>Just grab a glass and chill, everyone isn't here yet.
>Why don't we head out to the grill?
>>
>>2847969
>I need to chat with my wife. Liska, please don't do what I think you're going to
>>
>>2847969
>Foxy lady, let's not blitz it like Poland this time
Let's please keep tonight free of anschluss.
>>
>>2848258
>>2848302
see
>>2848009
>>
>>2848506
Then just drink and chill
>>
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>>2847969
"Surprised we didn't manage to scare you off last time," W tells him, and you can tell the wizard's been drinking.

Mostly because he's always drinking. The wineglass in his free hand is a clue, too.

"I really should have when I saw the grapevines in the office," Reynold says, "I think that was the big wakeup call."

"And yet you're still here," you say.

"Hold up a second," W says, "grapevines in the office?"

"I appreciate you bringing the drinks," you tell the wizard, as the three of you walk toward the living room, "but they may end up being a liability. Dionysus is in town, last I checked - redecorated my office and raced me on the street. Surprised he hasn't showed up to claim you as a patronized mortal or something."

"Oh boy," W says, "this is going to get fun. Hey, kid," he says to Reynold, "what do you know about fae?"

You catch the wizard's eye and give him a warning look. He nods at you, before starting to spin fairytales at Reynold.

Letting that cat out of the bag isn't your crew's problem, you think, as the wizard spouts stories starring mouthbreaking gaelic and Welsh names.

Madison drifts over, and the discussion turns into a more literary channel, about how different regional mythologies changed over time, or didn't, then Sue rolls in and starts talking about what she saw in Japan firsthand.

Reynold shows some deep knowledge of myths, history, and language, although it's not surprising, given that he's translating Greek for you.

He seems to be having fun, at least, and you decide to circulate the party.

The group by the drinks has grown a lot while you weren't looking - not only Liska, but several other folks have formed a bit of a circle around Kelly and Rosemary. It looks interesting, or like a fight's about to happen. So you go check it out.

"...through the plate glass was pretty fuckin' good," Rosemary says as you walk up, "how the hell did you reload so fast behind that table?"

"Picked up a dead guy's gun," Kelly says, "thought I could catch you out with the timing. I was wrong."

"Hey, foxy lady," you say to Liska, who's listening near the outside of the circle, "what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

"You already picked me up," she says, putting a hand on your arm, "I'm trying to decide whether blitzing Poland is worth it."

"I don't think it is tonight. Not much point in having these talks if nobody remembers," you tell her, then whisper "seems like they're getting along, at least."

"It's been a fun story," Liska says, and then whispers, "he came up to make sure she didn't have any hard feelings. But I do want to get her alone."

"Get her alone?" you whisper with a raised eyebrow, as Kelly starts talking about how much water slows bullets.

"Not like that," she whispers back, "I think we've got a bit in common. And I might have some advice for her."

"Sure you're not fishing for another plotline?" you whisper, and Liska laughs.

[1/2]
>>
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>>2848663
"I am always fishing for another plotline," Liska says in a low voice, turning toward you, "and I'm getting a few great ideas from this little action-movie ballistics lecture."

"I'm afraid I came in halfway through the movie," you say softly, "but Kelly's stories always make me feel like that. We've accidentally started a book club, too," you finish, jerking your head toward the group near the foyer.

"It's not every book club that argues about the logistics of taking Edo," she says, twitching those fuzzy fox ears at you. You're surprised she can make that out over all the chatter.

Oh, wonderful. Sue's probably voicing the sword's opinions again.

"It's not every book club that has a samurai's soul in a sword as a member," you tell her, "but I think that's par for us now. I'm going to start grilling, since I think," you continue, looking around, "we've got everybody."

"Sounds good," Liska says, "I want to catch the end of this," then whispers to you, "and catch Rosemary."

She winks. Alright, hopefully she's just messing with you.

That would really complicate things, you think, as you head back into the kitchen for the meat, then depart for the grill.

It's shaping up to be a nice night. Not too hot, not too cool, nobody trying to kill each other. You dump charcoal into your grill.

>[WRITE IN] shows up to be your grill buddy
>The smokers trickle out to their usual spot
>Some of the guys trickle out to join you
>Fred pokes his head over the fence
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2848713
>>Some of the guys trickle out to join you
>>
>>2848713
>Fred pokes his head over the fence
>>
>>2848713
>Fred pokes his head over the fence
>>
>2848713
>>Fred pokes his head over the fence
Then
>Some of the guys trickle out to join you
>>
>>2848713
>Fred pokes his head over the fence
Even Ellie and Haru are here? without a dramatic entrance?
>>
>>2848713
Fred pokes his head over the fence
>>
>>2848713
>Some of the guys trickle out to join you
wouldn't mind some of the girls coming out too, perhaps the other two of Madison's? I don't think we've talked with them all too much... key word being think...
>>
>>2848713
>Fred pokes his head over the fence
Heh
>>
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>>2848713
Fred pokes his head over the fence, and calls out "hey! Grilling again?"

"Yeah," you say, and point at the camper parked on your lawn, "relatives in town."

Technically, that's true, depending on how far you stretch the definition of 'relative'.

"Marlene told me about that," Fred tells you, "here to congratulate you on beating cancer?"

"They were on a road trip," you say, shoving the electric lighter into the mound of charcoal in your grill, "and we happened to be on the way."

"Those kind of relatives?" he asks, giving you a knowing look, "sounds like my in-laws. The house looks like a free hotel room to them."

"I can sympathize," you say, walking over to the fence as you wait for the charcoal to light, "last time my brother-in-law was over, he ruined the guest bedroom like a rockstar."

Fred laughs.

"At least you can kick them out of the house," he says, "since they've got a camper. Wait, were they the - what was the team name, the 'Winnebago Wanderers' or something like that? The ones Marion's team played when you invited the umpire over?"

"They had most of a team," you say, dancing to not tangle yourself in this nest of lies, "and their girls play softball too."

Hardball, sometimes.

"So they wanted a game," you say, "we filled out the rest of their team."

"No wonder everyone was so friendly," Fred says, "although, no offense, but that umpire..."

"Yeah," you say with a sigh, giving him a knowing look, "luckily, he's not related to me."

"I heard you got a couple of foxes, too?" Fred says, taking your cue to change the subject, "bet you let Marion talk you into that," he says, grinning, "or was it Liska?"

That had better not mean what you think it does. Maybe you've been a bit too paranoid lately. Maybe the magic is getting to you. Maybe Fred knows everything, and he's baiting you.

You sigh again. You're probably overthinking things.

"Well," you tell him, "you know how hard it is to refuse your wife," you say, "although they are really cute sometimes. Hell to deal with others."

"Sounds like our dog," Fred says with a smile, "do I need to be careful walking him?"

"Good fences make good neighbors," you tell him, "particularly when they have pets. We're keeping them in here. Unless your dog digs into the yard or can go through a fence, it should be fine."

"We trained him not to do that," Fred says, "but I'll keep an eye out. But I've never, well, seen a fox up close before. Could I please have a look? Marlene said they were very pretty."

>They're REALLY skittish right now
>Go inside and tell Liska she needs to be your pet fox for a minute
>You ever seen a ferret up close? I think Melon's is around here somewhere
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2848928
>Go inside and tell Liska she needs to be your pet fox for a minute
>>
>>2848928
>i'll see if I can dig the little scamps out.
>>
>>2848831
>Even Ellie and Haru are here? without a dramatic entrance?
No. Nobody's done the summoning yet. I think there was a comment earlier about holding off on that until later? I'll probably put it up for a vote at some point.
Fred is surprisingly popular.
>>
>>2848928
>it's heat season right now so they're not that friendly to strangers, and even harder to handle

>>2848947
everybody loves Fred!
>>
>>2848928
>They're kind of skittish right now. I'm told that they got loose and ran around everywhere while I was at work.
>>
>>2848940
>>2848945
vs.
>>2848956
>>2848962

Ladies and gentlemen, it appears we are tied. Next vote breaks it and gets me writing again.
>>
>>2848928
>it's heat season right now so they're not that friendly to strangers, and even harder to handle.
>You ever seen a ferret up close? I think Melon's is around here somewhere.
>>
>>2848928
>>2848962
Supporting.

I'd go with asking Liska to be our "Pet" for a second, but I feel like that'll end up with us getting dragged to the bedroom shortly after. Which, as fun as that may often sound; in context, we don't need that right now. besides, we just got the grill started.
>>
>>2848928
>They're REALLY skittish right now
>>
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>>2848928
"It's mating season right now," you say, "they're in heat, so they're REALLY skittish, and not friendly to strangers. Or far too friendly. And they're rather hard to handle."

"Oh," Fred says, "so that's why Marlene said they were running around earlier and the dogs went crazy - I'll keep mine on a short leash. I've heard they can breed together."

THAT was a mental image you really didn't need.

It pulls a switch in your head. 'Ex-boyfriend' of a wendigo? Knows how to deal with a minotaur? Melon has it even worse? FUCKING DOGS COULD-

You manage to derail that train of thought, like Lawrence of Arabia setting gelatin charges under a train track.

Unfortunately, that idea sets the train on another bad track.

The desert. Sand and chemicals filling your gas mask, clogging...

That one gets derailed, too, with an effort.

"You should probably have them spayed," Frank says, as if from a distance, "I guess you just got them? Hey, are you alright?" he asks, looking over the fence with concern.

Oh. You're holding yourself up with one hand against the fence. 'Spayed' didn't help.

"I just spent a month recovering from cancer," you say, as the world come back into focus, "mostly recovering from the treatments and surgery, honestly. Of course I'm not totally fine. And is your dog fixed?"

"Yeah," Fred says, "but apparently they can still smell it or something. You sure you should be out here cooking like that?"

"I'll be ok," you tell him, "recovery's been pretty crazy. They had me on the good stuff, and I still get twinges now that I'm off it."

"Don't push yourself too hard," Fred says, "I know family's important, but you can take a break."

"Thanks," you tell him, pulling yourself together, "but I'll be fine. And please keep a good handle on your dog. That sounds like the most awkward neighborly conversation to have," you say, forcing a smile.

"I can think of worse," he says, "at least Timmy's not old enough to cause those problems yet."

"You have it easy," you tell him, grinning, "what's the proverb - have a son, you have to worry about one swinging dick, have a daughter, you have to worry about every swinging dick in town?"

Fred looks at you, then laughs.

"Good luck," he says, "seriously, if you need anything, let us know."

"Thanks," you say, "I appreciate it."

Fred's head disappears over the fence.

Ok, that was weird, you think, heading back to the grill. You haven't hit yourself with a double whammy like that in a long time.

Maybe it's the yarnball, and this is how magic ruins your life.

Maybe you've had a really long day, and your mind picks awful similes and has odd connections.

Maybe you have been pushing yourself hard lately.

Maybe you don't want to stop.

>Maybe the smokers are coming out
>Maybe the guys are coming out
>Maybe people are coming out to set up the picnic tables
>Maybe [WRITE IN] has decided to become your grill buddy tonight
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2849147
>Maybe people are coming out to set up the picnic tables
>>
>>2849147
>Maybe people are coming out to set up the picnic tables.
>Maybe ~~Melon~~ Shelby has decided to become your grill buddy tonight.
>Maybe you should stop beating yourself with hypotheticals and do a lap of the people at the party, or hiding in their room from it.
>>
>>2849147
>You break a piece of 2 by 4 in the back yard with your dad glare, before catching yourself to relax.
>>
>>2849147
>Maybe people are coming out to set up the picnic tables
>>
>>2849147
>Everyone seems to be milling out, music starts playing, and things have somehow turned into a dance off. You have absolutely no idea where Reynolds got a rose to hold between his teeth Madison's brother appears to be asking Sue for a dance.
>>
>>2849147
>Maybe you should stop beating yourself up with hypotheticals
We’ve found our limit. Envisioning a dog fucking Melon. We can handle supernatural BDSM, but not even thinking about that possibility.

I wonder if Liska’s done it with a dog before?
>>
>>2849147
>>Maybe the guys are coming out
>>
>>2849201
we know she did werewolves, and that's already too close
>>
Unfortunately, I'm hitting bed now. Metaphorically, not domestic violence against bed-chan. Hope the run was enjoyable.

Next runtime on the twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Who do you folks want to talk to/interact with during the party setup/dinner phase?

Sorry about the long/spotty updates - I'm still a bit off from some stuff that has happened in my personal life the past couple of weeks.
>>2848956
>>2848994
>even harder to handle
I think it's hilarious how conversations with Fred are usually a storm of (nonsexual) double-entendres about what's going on supernaturally. Unfortunately this sometimes leads to Fred saying things that make sense from his perspective, but have awful double meanings. Then again, that's part of the fun.
>>2849012
>I'd go with asking Liska to be our "Pet" for a second, but I feel like that'll end up with us getting dragged to the bedroom shortly after
I would have gone with the MC saying "I need you to be my pet fox for a minute" loudly enough that at least a couple people heard, and played awkward comedy with the idea.I never thought I'd say this, but the MC has touched enough fluffy tail already in this thread. Although I think most of that was just 'happening to be doing that while having a conversation' and helping out with a medical condition, rather than just a romp.
>>2849192
>things have somehow turned into a dance off
Be careful what you wish for.
>>
>>2849268
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cw6JoBfDfME
>W and his wife are doing this somehow without him spilling a drop of alcohol because of course he's that dude in the club that has mastered the art of not spilling his drink while dancing.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ravvjv3MFwE
>This is Kelly
>>
>>2849220
I have terrible fetishes, but Liska getting plowed by half or full werewolves sounds hot.

Wondering if that’s part of the reason Sachio absolutely wrecked face in the French resistance. Imagine what would have happened if he went on a mission and found his sister screaming in lust under a Nazi werewolf.
>>
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>>2849147
Maybe you should stop beating yourself up with hypotheticals.

Ah, the coals are looking nice. You lose yourself in spreading them out for grilling.

By the time you've slapped your meat on the grill, several people are out setting up picnic tables, laying tablecloths, bringing out side dishes and drinks - the whole nine yards.

At least it seems more sedate than most parties you've hosted.

The smokestacks have congregated against the back of your house again. Reynold has apparently joined them (well, that cigarette explains his breaks), and W's talking some crazy magic fuckery with Rick.

W doesn't smoke.

You overhear "...you could actually summon yourself!" from the drunk wizard, as he displays a piece of paper to the police chief, "I'm pretty sure it would work."

"If it didn't," the demon says, as you look over at the group, "would I just be another sacrifice for science?"

"Can't deny that," you hear Kelly say, as he looks at W, "we're all sacrifices for your 'science'. Organ donors have it better."

"Well," W says, "James is the authority on transplants."

"I did what I had to do," you hear the trenchcoat wizard say, "and let me have a look at that," he tells W, snatching the piece of paper from the other wizard, and he studies it for a tense second, as the meat sizzles.

"That would..." you hear from him, as he looks it over for a bit, "let's test it!" he yells, and slits his thumb with a rather large knife and smears blood on the paper, before throwing it as far away from himself as he can.

Rick vanishes and appears on top of it.

"Fuck you guys," he says, then takes a step back toward the wall, "and you forgot the containment."

"Intentionally," W tells him, with the imperturbability only alcohol gives.

Rick laughs as he settles back against the wall, "alright, you get me something like that I can print on my business cards and you've got a deal."

"Faster than calling 911, hey?" Reynold asks, and gets a full round of laughter.

Well, they're having fun.

Now that the meat is cooking, you've got a bit of free time to wander around.

>Smokers
>Check on Melon
>Magical girls setting up tables
>Make sure Liska isn't fucking a fairy
>The kitchen
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2850547
>>Magical girls setting up tables
Checking on Melon is the trap option. And we've trusted Liska this far, we can trust her a little further,
>>
>>2850547
>Make sure Liska isn't fucking a fairy
>>
>>2850586
>>2850547
Support I guess seems logical
>>
>>2850547
>Magical girls setting up tables
Liska asked us to trust her and checking on Melon is a trap.
>>
wew, finished the archive, now for more parental ennui!

>Magical girls setting up tables
>>
>>2850547
>Magical girls setting up tables
>Sorry to give you short notice.
>Anything strange happened since that duke got sizzled?
>>
>>2850547
>Magical girls setting up tables
>Get one of them to check on Melon, they’d be safe... right?
>>
>>2850547
>Magical girls setting up tables
>>
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>>2850547
Well, that rich mix isn't combusting in the cylinder yet.

Who's going to spark off first?

It's like playing 'chicken' on the highway, as Rosemary put it.

You walk over to the girls setting up the tables.

Harriet breaks off from the group, grabs your shoulder, and whispers "ok, I'm getting blasted. There are too many people here who killed me in other loops," in your ear.

That - oh. Freebles (though you thought she'd made peace with him), Rosemary, probably Kelly, maybe Rick (or condemned her to a fate worse than death), Mary, potentially W, and some of her friends.

"I think I get it," you whisper back, "if that's the anesthetic you need, we've got enough. But I thought you said you'd help with Melon?"

She grits her teeth.

"You know she's killed me before?" Harriet whispers savagely in your ear.

It shakes you for a half a breath.

"That," you tell her, putting a hand on the girl's shoulder, "wasn't in this loop. Look, get as drunk as you think you want to," you tell her, "but you told me you'd help - and be mostly sober. Can I rely on that?"

She looks at you for a bit, then says "yeah."

"Great," you tell her, "I don't think I can ever understand what you've gone through," you whisper to the magical girl, "by the by, have you talked to Kelly about time magic in combat?"

"No," she says with a guarded look, "but that's an idea. So that's the part of the story he didn't want to tell," she tells you, pulling away from under your hand.

"Probably," you say.

"At least," Harriet whispers, standing on her toes to reach your ear, "there are some people here who HAVEN'T killed me," and then she heads off toward the smokers.

You can see Sue glaring at her back.

"Well," Mary says, as she walks up, "guess you're a better manager than I am, eldest brother. You've got the loyalty thing DOWN."

>I'm going to need you sober. We're summoning Ellie
>I'm not stealing your girl
>I'd prefer you lay off on the style of 'humor' you hit me with earlier
>Having fun yet, sister?
>I need to defuse Sue. Or could you do that?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2851075
>>Having fun yet, sister?
>>
>>2851075
>>I'm not stealing your girl
>>
>>2851075
>>I'm not stealing your girl
>Having fun yet, sister?
I'm still not on board with summoning Ellie, as her influence on the yarnball caused some trouble last time, and she was only here for a short while. We give her those tickets, she'll be affecting things for the length of the cruise, however long that is.

We give Sue attention every time she looks jealous, she start doing it all the time.
>>
>>2851075
> Eh, You're doing all the work with the girls.
>I'm hoping for everyone to be somewhat sober until after we've summoned Ellie. Dionysus might beg to differ but I wanna get anything important out of the way first. Maybe see if the wizards know a way for you to impose your own limiters to put that world of cardboard thing on pause. Everyone else is gonna need that after we unlock the contracts while they get used to things. Basically just get our concerns and plans all laid out while we can actually remember them.
>Any ideas on how to defuse Sue? She seems to be getting a bunch of strange ideas and the view that her mom got from the sword of our first meeting seems to be a bit.. different than I remember it. Her mom thought I waltzed in like some sort of sexual tyrannosaurus with eyes full of lust, chocolatey flowing hair and careless whisper playing in the background. I'm exaggerating, but not by much.
>>
>>2851075
>Having fun yet, sister?
>WRITE IN
"It's all about being the sober rock in the sea of drunks."
>>
>>2851097
That's easily solved by more recruiting to spread out the effect. Sadly anons don't seem to be on board with us creating a small army of magical girls.
>>
>>2851147
That's more of a long term solution, and we're considering calling her up with a few hours.

We have a glut of characters as it stands, and Haiku can't seem to resist adding even more over time. If we want to start serious recruitment, we need some way to cut down on the amount of people we need to actually interact with
If we'd kept the duchy, we could have sent some of them there. If we had territories that needed managing, we could send them there. Heck, if we had missions pertaining to solving the MG issue, we could send them on those. But we don't have any of those, so I'm at a loss as to what we'd do with them.
>>
>>2851175
That's easy to handle if we just have elected representatives or equivalents. We tend to let most groups be autonomous and come to us when issues arise or there's something to report. Everyone survived before us. We just want em to survive in a better environment.
TLDR Delegating responsibility properly and checking every once in a while to make sure nothing insane happens is all we need.
>>
>>2851075
>I'm not stealing your girl

>I need to defuse Sue. Or could you do that?

Drama. More deadly than Demons.
>>
>>2851175
. . . . March on Edo?
>>
>>2851075
"I'm not stealing your girl," you tell Mary.

"She's my teammate, and my roommate" Mary says with a shrug, "not my girl. And please don't. That would really fuck up the rent."

So the 'office' is what Harriet's renting with her lottery winnings.

"Besides," Mary says with a wink, "you stole us all. Hell, you walked right in and put your feet on the table."

"Having fun yet, sister?" you ask.

"I might be in love," she tells you, with an idiotic grin on her face, "no other guy has given me a gift-wrapped duke of Hell."

Alright, this 'heat' shit might be spreading through the yarnball, and that could be a real problem.

"I'm fucking with you," Mary says, and laughs, "but that look on your face was priceless. Too bad I couldn't see the one you gave over the phone."

You're still not counting it out. Although she did say some similar things when you showed up at her office.

"Are you ok?" you ask, "I need everyone (except maybe W and Shirley) to be reasonably sober."

"I think I am," Mary says, looking up at you with eyes that hold entire universes, and she gasps, "I think I'm - HOLY SHIT!" she yells, as she floats off the ground and wings sprout from her.

What the hell?

"I THINK I JUST HIT THE EDGE," Mary says, as wings unfold behind her, "I THINK I MIGHT HAVE GONE OVER-"

And she screams. As if every nail in the universe was dragged across all potential chalkboards.

"SO THIS IS APOTHEOSIS," Mary says, hovering over the ground, "SO THIS IS THE END. I LOVE YOU ALL," she says, twirling to look at everyone, with a smile on her face.

"That's bullshit!" James yells from behind you, as you feel something indescribable pouring at you from the magical girl.

"I'M BULLSHIT!" Mary yells, bending back almost in a half circle, "AND IS THIS REALLY HOW YOU BECOME A GODDESS? IT FUCKING HURTS!"

All your senses are being assaulted at once.

"She's been taking in the excess from the yarnball!" W screams, as Mary rises a few more feet.

"I thought you idiots were bleeding it off!" Harriet yells.

"THANKS!" Mary yells, "I'LL SEE YOU IN-"

Mary screams again, and suddenly she's gone. Disappeared. Evaporated.

You look around and realize several people have been flattened into your lawn.

>Freebles and every conscious wizard, report, stat
>At just that moment, you hear the rumble of a Maserati in your driveway
>Harriet, have you seen anything like that before?
>Ok, what the hell just happened?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2851316
>Freebles and every conscious wizard, report, stat
>Harriet, have you seen anything like that before?

FUCK
>>
>>2851316
>WRITE IN

Pull Ellie and Butler in, NOW.

A chip seemed to have a good grasp on the yarnball. Call him up and see what's happening with that in general, Mary's link in particular.
>>
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>>2851316
>Freebles and every conscious wizard, report, stat
>Harriet, have you seen anything like that before?
>>
>>2851321
+1
>>
>>2851316
>>Freebles and every conscious wizard, report, stat
>Harriet, have you seen anything like that before?
>Ok, what the hell just happened?

UH what?
>>
>>2851316
>Freebles and every conscious wizard, report, stat
>Harriet, have you seen anything like that before?
>>
>>2851316
What type of wings were they? Angel-type, or something else?

>APOTHEOSIS
>Apotheosis is the glorification of a subject to divine level
Ok, who's been literally worshiping mary. I know she's powerful, but come on.

>"SO THIS IS THE END. I LOVE YOU ALL," she says, twirling to look at everyone, with a smile on her face.
So not only is she ascending to actual divinity, she's gone round the bend at the same time. Great.

>"I'LL SEE YOU IN-"
There's really on one way at sentence ends. More potential bad news.


Also if Dionisos show up, kick him back out. This is serious time, and a god of wine and madness isn't going to be helpful here. No Ellie either, for similar reasons.
>>
>>2851316
>>Harriet, have you seen anything like that before?
Is Mary still plugged into the yarnball? If we've got a litteral God hooked into this thing, we're about to get some serious feedback I'll bet. If we're really lucky, it'll just be power. If not, we're in for a wild ride.
>>
>>2851350
The fact that Mary has been leeching is actually more concerning since it means that Ellie's effect on everyone might actually be getting worse in the future. On the other hand, she's probably still connected to us.
>>2851316
>What the fuck?
>Harriet, W, what the fuck just happened
>Is Mary still plugged in? I think we need to brace for the impact of whatever high turning into a god was dumping on Mary
Finding out that Mary's been bleeding it off gives me a bad idea. When Ellie is taking that cruise we can reroute the bad juju she's sending us into some new weapon we make for an unholy hand grenade. (or better bullets/guns)
>What are we even gonna tell Mary's parents?
>We need to double check Mary's contract NOW. If she's still under it the rats might do something that none of us wants to see. One of their accounts going full god is going to turn some heads.
>>
>>2851395
>We need to double check Mary's contract NOW. One of their accounts going full god is going to turn some heads.
Oh balls, you're right. We've been somehow flying under the radar with the rats, but there's no way we're hiding this. There is a slim chance her conversion to divinity will cut dependency on processed energy, but I wouldn't bet on it. If it does though, we've got an a possible out for the MGs. All we'll have to do is turn the lot of them into divinity. What could go wrong?
Ellie staves off the energy need by consuming demons, but that's corrupted herr pretty bad, and she's getting worse every day. I don't think we even want to suggest Mary deal with it in the same way; Insane, corrupted divinity sounds like a bad time, even before it's plugged into the yarnball.
>>
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>>2851316
Your ears are ringing like you've been hit with a flashbang.

What on earth was that?

"All conscious ferrets and wizards!" you yell, once you recover yourself, "report, stat!"

"I've got no fuckin' clue bro," Freebles says, poking his head out of your jacket pocket.

"This shit only happens in legends," James says, "the hell's going on?"

"I think we just witnessed the birth of a goddess," W says.

"A goddess of WHAT?" James asks him, and you turn back toward the smokers' wall to see James grabbing W by the collar.

W's dropped his wineglass. Either he's shaken, or this is some sort of miracle, or both.

"I don't know!" W yells at James, "maybe magical girls or teenagers or puberty or something? Let me go, or I'll fucking roast you!"

James take his hands off W, and says "fine," then starts waving his hands around and pacing, "so how do we figure it out? How the hell do we find out if there's a new goddess? What pantheon would she be in? Where did she go? Same place Cotton Eye Joe went?"

Kelly's still on the ground. You walk around him on your way over to Harriet, as the other wizards argue.

"You ever seen that before?" you ask her.

"She just..." Harriet mutters, seemingly stuck in a trance, "she just... she just..." like a broken record.

Then she snaps out of it, as you put your hand on her shoulder.

"Again," you ask, "ever seen anything like that before? I don't want to be insensitive, but..."

"Thanks, but," Harriet says, "I've never seen THAT. That's not what it looks like when a magical girl goes out."

She's putting up a bold face, but you hug her anyway. She leans into you.

"Hey," Freebles says, poking his head out of your jacket pocket, "you two are going to want to hear this one. And not crush me. I don't have a contract with Mary anymore."

Well, that's news.

"What did you say?" Harriet asks him, narrowing her eyes at the ferret.

"It sort of, I guess it burned up is my best metaphor," he says, swarming up around your neck, "she's not connected to me."

"So she really became a goddess?" Harriet asks.

"She became something that could dismiss that contract for fun," the ferret says, "or she cut it as a final 'fuck you' because she was powerful enough to withstand what that does to you girls."

"Or she's following in Ellie's footsteps," you say.

"Shit," Harriet says, still in your arms, "I don't think she'd go for that, though. Mary gave up that coronet and everything!"

>Everyone stop arguing and brace for magical impact through the yarnball! We just plugged a goddess in!
>Well, there's a god in town to give advice
>Wizards, I need ANSWERS, NOT DEBATES!
>Let's start cleaning people off the lawn
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2851449
>Everyone stop arguing and brace for magical impact through the yarnball! We just plugged a goddess in!
>Wizards, I need ANSWERS, NOT DEBATES!
>>
>>2851449
>>Everyone stop arguing and brace for magical impact through the yarnball! We just plugged a goddess in!
>>
>>2851449
>Mary if you can hear us STOP FUCKING AROUND! And send us a sign if you can?
>Everyone stop arguing and brace for magical impact through the yarnball! We just plugged a goddess in!
>Someone get Ellie and Butler in here, we're having an emergency meeting
if she's still in the yarnball, it could help finding her or something
>>
>>2851449
>Everyone stop arguing and brace for magical impact through the yarnball! We just plugged a goddess in!
>Kelly, Get those restraints prepped!
>Rachel, warn Melon if we still have time!
>Freebles, how fast do your higher ups react to something like that? I was gonna suggest we slowly start rewriting contracts one at a time but we need to get rid of that sword of Damocles ASAP. Please tell me you guys made some protype contracts while bored! Who here is the least likely to explode the yard by accident the moment you get a power upgrade?
>Our eyes turn into galaxies and we start glowing
>>
>>2851449
>>Everyone stop arguing and brace for magical impact through the yarnball! We just plugged a goddess in!
>Wizards, I need ANSWERS, NOT DEBATES!


>"It sort of, I guess it burned up is my best metaphor,"
I really hope she isn't going to follow in Ellie's footsteps. Ellie herself is bad enough, but actual corrupted divinity would seriously suck.
If it was a willing cut because she could take it, we should look at that for something useful for cutting the rest of the girl's contracts.
>>
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>>2851449
>Wizards, I need ANSWERS, NOT DEBATES!
>Mary if you can hear us STOP FUCKING AROUND! And send us a sign if you can?
>Everyone stop arguing and brace for magical impact through the yarnball! We just plugged a goddess in!

Oh damn son.
>mfw I finally catch up in this thread
>>
>>2851449
>Everyone stop arguing and brace for magical impact through the yarnball! We just plugged a goddess in!
>Wizards, I need ANSWERS, NOT DEBATES!
>>
>>2851449
>Everyone stop arguing and brace for magical impact through the yarnball! We just plugged a goddess in!
This is triggering my "incoming!" artillery senses. I imagine it's doing something similar for the actual ex-marine.

Oh. That's a thought. Are we, via the yarnball, about to cause a cascading chain of divinity creation? Each MG pushed over the edge by the backwash from a previous Ascension?
>>
I leave the thread for fucking /twenty four hours/ and we've got a magical goddess ascension. In our fucking back yard, no less.
Good one, QM. I'm looking forward to how this turns out.
>>
So... would this end up counteracting the Demon crazies, or would it just introduce a whole new level of fucked in the head for everyone?
>>
>>2851449
>Everyone stop arguing and brace for magical impact through the yarnball! We just plugged a goddess in!


>Wizards, I need ANSWERS, NOT DEBATES!
>>
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>>2851449
You release Harriet from your fatherly embrace.

"Everyone!" you yell at the wizards and magical girls picking themselves off the backyard, "brace for magical impact! We just plugged a goddess into the yarnball!"

Well, you might have accidentally created a goddess through the yarnball. It's still better than a lot of other futures.

"And wizards - I need ANSWERS, NOT DEBATES!" you yell at James and W, as Harriet slaps Kelly's face to try and wake him up.

Oh, good grief, there are still people inside. Fuck.

"Debates are how we get answers!" W yells at you as you pass him at a dead run. There should be enough people outside to take care of things, you think, opening the back doors.

"Brace for magical impact! Through the yarnball!" you yell at everyone in the living room. Well, Iris and Alice should be fine. It shouldn't hit them.

"Eldest brother," Shelby yells from the kitchen, "what's happening?"

"We're about to get soaked!" you yell, running past into the hallway leading toward your bedroom.

You pound on Melon's door, yelling "you're about to get hit through the yarnball! Brace!"

Then you turn toward the open door of the guest bedroom, where Liska and Rosemary are sitting on the floor in the middle of a conversation.

"We accidentally plugged a goddess into this thing," you tell them, "brace yourselves!"

Liska pulls out her phone and waits a couple of rings before someone picks up. Rosemary looks back and forth between the two of you.

"Sachio," Liska says, "brace yourself. The yarnball's about to hit hard - and no, I don't want to hear about your girlfri-"

Then it hits, and slams you into the floor. You had braced yourself.

After that, things are dark for a while.

>Then Liska's waking you up
>Then Sue's waking you up
>Then Rosemary's waking you up
>Then D. Onassis' waking you up (how'd he get in?)
>WRITE IN
>>
oh god what happen
Is there even any trace she left to where she might be?

>>2851475
Wait shit
>>
>>2851514
>Then D. Onassis' waking you up (how'd he get in?) by forcing wine down your throat, Hmm its oddly pretty tasty.
>>
>>2851514
>Then Rosemary's waking you up looking very confused
>>
>>2851514
>Then Liska's waking you up
>>
>>2851514
>>Then Rosemary's waking you up
>>
>>2851514
>Then Sue's waking you up
>>
>>2851514
>And then everyone is waking you up
>AND I DO MEAN EVERYONE

>inb4 it's Fred that wakes you up because you were sleep walking
>>
>>2851519
+1
>>
>>2851514
>Then Rosemary's waking you up
She’s not plugged in after all
>>
>>2851534
Supportan
>>
>>2851534
Exactly.
>>
>>2851514
>Then you're back in the desert.
>>
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>>2851514
You wake up to Rosemary slapping your face.

"Alright, alright," you say, "I'm back. The fuck are you doing?"

"The fuck were you doing?" she asks, "everyone bit the floor!"

"Is Reynold ok?" you ask, hoping to deflect things.

"He's a bit dazed," she says, "but he'll be fine. Most of the folks here have been down for a fuck longer than a count!"

>Is that a 'two-pump-chump' fuck longer, or a real fuck longer?
>We accidentally created a goddess
>I've got to ask - is Reynold going to write amazing poetry and die?
>These things happen - get used to it
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2851556
>It happens, i'm more worried about the one that isn't here.
>Last time we got everyone pumped on demonic energy.
>>
>>2851556
>We may have accidentally created a goddess
>Now before shit gets even more real, I've got to ask - is Reynold going to write amazing poetry and die?
>Let's try and wake everyone else up
>>
>>2851556

>Is that a 'two-pump-chump' fuck longer, or a real fuck longer?
>I've got to ask - is Reynold going to write amazing poetry and die?
>>
>>2851556
>>2851564

>We accidentally created a goddess
>It happens, i'm more worried about the one that isn't here.
>Last time we got everyone pumped on demonic energy.
>I've got to ask - is Reynold going to write amazing poetry and die?
>>
>>2851556
>We accidentally created a goddess
>WRITE IN
"Either that, or the planets aligned specifically to fuck me and mine over somehow."
>>
>>2851556
supporting >>2851577
>>
>>2851577
supporting
>>
>>2851577
Supporting
>>
>>2851556
>We accidentally created a god
>No, this is not normal. Is everyone breathing?
>Start checking everyone that's down.
>Check Freebles. (if he wakes up) How long before your bosses notice this?
>Am I floating?
>>
This better not be HaikuXFloor or imma flip a shit, this is way too happening to stop now
>>
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>>2851556
"How are they doing?" you ask the woman, or the fae, atop you, as consciousness returns, "how's Melon? How's Liska?"

"All but one of your folks are still breathing," Rosemary says, "the Angel of Death, well, he choked on some weird black stuff before we got to him."

Kelly's dead?

You wonder if this woman let it happen. Or if she did it herself.

Then you see an impossible silhouette standing behind her: a man in a trenchcoat, with a shock-mop of black hair.

"I learned something today," Kelly says, to the world in general, "you know that thing about challenging the Grim Reaper to a game before he takes you? That's real. I just beat him at Russian Roulette. Twice. Once for my life, and once for that title everyone keeps giving me, which is supposed to be his. I think that's why he took my challenge. One for the money, two for the show. You ever see a skeleton's skull shatter?"

"Ok," Rosemary says, looking back at him, "can I upgrade a ten-year headstart to a nonaggression pact?"

"That really depends on my brother," Kelly says, pulling a large pistol from his coat, "you're allergic to cold iron, right?"

"So," you say to Rosemary, "I've got to ask - is Reynold going to write amazing poetry and die?"

"He's going to die one day," she says, looking at Kelly, then at you, "but I really don't want to be the cause. I think you understand," she tells you.

She's metaphorically up against the wall, even if she's literally on top of you.

"And if those are cold iron," she says, grinning, "they're going to overpenetrate," she says, touching her forehead to yours.

You can feel her breath on your face.

"I could still put one through your head without hitting his," Kelly tells her, "if you're taking hostages, do it better."

"And stop that before Liska wakes up," you tell her, "she doesn't need cold iron to put you down, and I think you know it."

"I'm keeping the hand with one ace until I have to fold," Rosemary says, dragging her head down onto your chest, "is every night here like this?"

"It happens," you tell her, "last time we had demonic energy spilling through everyone. This time, we accidentally created a goddess. I'm more worried about the people who aren't here."

"He's not bluffing," Kelly says, "I could probably shoot this guy and he'd come back somehow. He's done it before. Fold. You've played your hand."

"You know," Rosemary says as she stands up, "I wish Reynold hadn't ended up working for someone like you. And I haven't directly threatened anyone."

You let out a deep breath you hadn't realized you were holding.

>We can all pretend this never happened
>Kelly, kill her
>As a show of good faith, Kelly, can you upgrade things to a nonaggression pact? And not count this?
>You're a rather odd fae
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2851679
>You're a rather odd fae - and that's saying something
>As a show of good faith, Kelly, can you upgrade things to a nonaggression pact? And not count this?
>>
>>2851679
>Liska can probably tell you it only gets better on the long run
>We try not to hold grudges here, it's not too late to just step back
can't we just CQC the bitch?
>>
Unfortunately, I'm bailing.

Next runtime on twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Hopefully I'll run over the weekend this time.

I wonder what I'll think of this thread when I wake up. Mary's (perhaps) literally a goddess now, Kelly won the title 'Angel of Death' off the Grim Reaper, and the MC accidentally has a house of passed-out people, through no fault of his own.
Although there are a few other folks around who aren't technically in the yarnball.
>>
>>2851679
>You're a rather odd fae
>As a show of good faith, Kelly, can you upgrade things to a nonaggression pact? And not count this?
>>
>>2851690
supporting
>>
>>2851679
>Reynolds is just a subordinate. I didn't want this, the whole damn thing happened because Bernie wanted to prank me. Your man is coming back to this house. I think we can both agree to that
>>
>>2851679
>>You're a rather odd fae
>As a show of good faith, Kelly, can you upgrade things to a nonaggression pact? And not count this?
>>
>>2851679
>Is this normal for Fae? You seem quite odd
>I was kind of hoping Reynolds would be safer around us than whatever nonsense he'd get up to on his but you told me that the big D cured his lack of caution.
>Mind taking those guns off of my guest? She just woke me up from that and made sure everyone, including your wife and children were still breathing. I think that's enough for at least some good will or maybe considering that non aggression pact.
>My wife is drunk, probably gonna be groggy from the impact, and in heat. It might be best for you to move before she thinks it's a great time for a threesome.
>Kelly, we have better things to be doing. I don't think spawning a god is the sort of thing that goes unnoticed and they're the sort of assholes that burn everything if they get scared. We need to fix everyone's contract before they understand what just happened.

(If W wakes up during the next post. )W, remember how when we first met you said only certain beings were powerful enough to get your daughter out of a contract? I think Mary just became one of them. We need to make sure Mary is ok.She sounded out of it during that APOTHEOSIS.

I guess that's all I can think of?
>>
>>2851883
I'm also not really sure why she's an odd fae considering that fae are generally defined by being odd due to their mostly alien thought processes that we only slightly understand some of the rules of.
>>
>>2851885
she's odd because she's not odd basically. She's not behaving particularly fae at all
>>
>>2851886
She's straddled on top of us and breathing heavily/sexily in our faces while a dude that just came back from the dead has guns pointed at her. I think that's a rather odd reaction to the situation.
>>
>>2851889
At least from my perspective, a "normal" fae would probably give much less of a shit about the happenings and/or would be doing something about the event rather than us.
>>
>>2851679
>As a show of good faith, Kelly, can you upgrade things to a nonaggression pact? And not count this?
>>
>>2851885
Yeah this. Also we don't even know what normal is for fae.

We don't wanna be called racist.
>>
>>2851910
>We don't wanna be called racist.
>In a setting where we're grill buddies with a literal assassin, a wizard and a cooking autist.
>In a setting where our boss is a literal fucking dragon that bankrolled the crusades and shows no real sign of finding a cave and sleeping out the rest of the millennium
>In a setting where magical girls are enslaved to a system that can and will fucking kill them or turn them into demons by breaking the contracts if they step out of line

We have worst shit that can possibly happen to us than being called racist Anon.
>>
>>2851910
>>2851679
Rescinding my odd fae vote. It didn't make sense to me before and sounds oddly racist now that actual thought has been put into it.

Some fae also "reproduce" via kidnapping human children or dumping thiers onto humans. (or used to? a bit harder to get away with that in modern times)

>>2851976
Like pissing off a fae while everyone but Kelly is knocked out,Kelly shooting and us being collateral damage,our wife finding out that we died with another woman on top of us,Kelly's new title turning out to mean that he can permanently end us and he didn't realize it,Zeus finding out that we're stuck in Hades's domain and so on? At least racists IRL somewhat know when to shut the fuck up before they get backlash.
>>
>>2852001
That still wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen to us which you did not point out.
The worst thing that could happen is not being there for our daughter's wedding when we're supposed to walk her down the aisle
>>
>>2852016
Being permanently dead kind of prevents that.
>>
>>2852023
I know, I was pointing that out in a general way.
>>
>>2851976
Yeah, but where's the minority representation there? No black cast members!

We even have a Japanese fetish wife. Classic racism.
>>
>>2851976
I mean, just because there is worse possible shit doesn't mean I want us to be racist.
>>
>>2852048
>No black cast members!

How could you forget our marine buddy "Superfly" Johnson? We could never leave Iraq without our buddy! We promised him that we'd get him back to his wife and kids alive and we did!
Now tell me Anon, how is that racist in anyway?
Is it racist to imply that he has to be rescued like a damsel in distress? Is racist to imply that he's married without checking to see that he's married, or is it racist to say he's our designated man of african descent in the military?
I really need to stop and get breakfast, I don't think so gud without breakfast.
>>
>>2851693
Yes, with the military training we have, probably we can wrestle her off enough. but its more fun to fake that we can't.

>>2852048
>No black cast members!
But this still need more representation! what about the hard working mexican or the long nosed jew? of the ganja=smoking jamaican! we need to represent everyone!
>>2851679
>As a show of good faith, Kelly, can you upgrade things to a nonaggression pact? And not count this?
>>
>>2852048
I personally didn't mention black people specifically because one of the implications of the setting (Cops(demons) always targeting/killing black people,all legends and conspiracy theories are true, coupled with misc stuff in history) is that black people all inherently have magical powers to some degree and are/were forcibly separated from any possibly knowledge on how to properly use their magic to make easy targets.


>>2852072
Anon. Stop. You're starting to sound like one of those dudes abusing the fact that they aren't considered "officially" racist until they get caught saying nigger and using that fact to try and taunt nearby black people.
>>
>>2852101
I mean, yeah, it would be *shocking* to see a black person in America, seeing as there's nips and gooks every other step here.
>>
>>2851910
>>2851679
I just want to say I originally made the racist comment as a joke, and that everyone who responded to it is fucking horrible and should kill themselves.

This got way out of hand. Ironically, I suppose it DOES showcase how sensitive Americans are to being called Racist.
>>
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>>2851679
"But you've got a list of people who've threatened you," Kelly says, keeping his gun trained on her, "so you could argue you're not breaching whatever agreement you made. I'm guessing," he continues, looking down at you, "it was something like 'do not start shit'. And you didn't threaten your host," he says, looking back at her, "you made me do it for you. I hate dealing with the fair folk."

"Russia wasn't the first time we met," Rosemary says, leaning back against the wall, "I thought about taking you as a lover, once. But you were a bit young then."

"That was you?" Kelly asks with a very odd look on his face.

"You were going to become a fucking genius with a gun anyway," she says, as you pick yourself up off the floor, "I didn't need to."

"Kelly," you say, "is there anyone you don't have a history with?"

"Billions of people," he tells you, "unfortunately, you seem to drag the ones I do to you."

"Well," you say, "I think you might be better off than some of my other brothers. How about taking the gun off my guest? She just woke me up and made sure everyone, including our girls, were breathing. That's worth some good will, at least."

"Did you strangle me?" Kelly asks her, seemingly ignoring you, "or did you let me choke?"

"You were fucking dead when I got to you," Rosemary says.

Kelly lowers the gun.

"I'll take you up on that nonaggression pact," he tells Rosemary, "but we're going to need to write it up."

"Until then," she says, "I won't make the first move on you or anyone I know is yours."

"And I won't make the first move on you or anyone I know is yours," he says, "and Shelby counts as mine. This guy does too, and everyone associated directly with him."

"Fine," Rosemary says, then sighs, "you haven't changed at all. Well, you've gotten taller."

You feel tension in the air for a second, but it rapidly dissipates. Is there some magical thing going on here?

>We have better things to be doing - like scraping people off the floor
>You two have your moment - I need to check on Melon
>I'd kind of like the history lecture on this
>I need to make sure Liska's ok
>I felt that - what just happened?
>WRITE IN
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>>2852249
>I need to make sure my family's ok
Like we're not gonna make sure that our family's okay. Other reason being is that we kinda need our wife to act as protection detail in the case of the goddess powerup decided to do a number on Melon's heatwave.
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>>2852249
>>I need to make sure my family's ok
>>
>>2852249
>I felt that - what just happened?
>I need to make sure my family's ok
>>
>>2852249
>You two have your moment - I need to check on Melon and Liska.

So. We invading Heaven to get Mary back, then?
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>>2852249
>ask how they met the first time
>I need to check on my family

Since Rosemary’s actually fae, and she met Kelly when he was young, I’m guessing that that joke about Irish Car Bombs wasn’t really a joke. This crew is a walking history of twentieth century military fuckups.
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>>2852306
no? I think this might be the best that could happen to her since she became a proper goddess and didn't go wacko here on earth. Maybe we should get her a skype connection or something, but pulling her back might not be a good idea.
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>>2852249
> Alright, you two settled now? Good, now get off me
>I need to make sure my family's ok

So, Mary just randomly ascended, and Kelly is now Death? Am I getting this right?
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>>2852368
nah, i don't think he has become Death, because you can't kill a concept and they played russian roulette twice. Kelly just took his title and earned a second chance among the living. What i'm wondering right now is if he came back without his illness
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>>2852386
supernatural titles do admittedly have a lot of weight physically. I wouldn't be surprised at all if he was sickness free, wouldn't even if he had a bunch of bonus stuff
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so... how do we begin searching for mary? Maybe we could call Dionysus to ask him about godhood and if he felt a new goddess arise. We could also check on mary's actions and her job and see if she represents anything of that now. Other than that and going from the assumption that she is in a very local pantheon(maybe not even bigger than the city's lore) i have no more ideas.
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>>2852249
>We have better things to do, we can't be the only people that noticed that.
>Kelly, get those restraints out. We have no idea how this affected everyone else(Temporary/Permanent stark raving madness?) so we might need to hold them down. Let's wake up Liska and work our way roughly down the power rankings.
>I don't look weird to you right now do I?
>>2852471
She's still in the yarnball. She's effectively tagged with a tracking device that has a massive signal. Tracking her down is the easy part.
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>>2852646
but the yarnball doesn't tell us where she is. Its like a shitty hot cold sensor that only goes HOT when someone or we jump to a closer dimension to ours.
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>>2852698
You just know it's harder to sense via a dimensional jump. Everything else you said is a pure assumption.
Alternatively, since magical girls are basically part demons it might be plausible to create some sort of magical girl summoning ritual.
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>>2852471
Maybe try praying?
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>>2852732
>Alternatively, since magical girls are basically part demons it might be plausible to create some sort of magical girl summoning ritual.
Not really. Ellie turned into a demon because of all the demons she consumed to satiate her hunger and magical girls don't need the demon energy per se, they give it to freebles and then he converts it into the energy the girls need. Also, i don't think the ritual would work because mary is now a god. You don't summon gods, they appear in front of you whenever they like. the closest thing would be that they channel themselves trough their priests or seers, but i doubt Mary has someone that can fill that spot. Maybe Harriet but i'm unsure of that.
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>>2852249
>>I'd kind of like the history lecture on this
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>>2852782
Nah. You're remembering half of the explanation. The magical girls are 90% demon mana (assuming they're standard magical girls killing demons for earnings instead of ones that have inherent magical power they can use to pay) with a core that the rats provide for stability. Sue technically counted as a demon when we first met her if we go by what we were originally told.The term demon is covered in extremely broad strokes in this setting.
Since we've seen that anything attached to said demon comes along for the ride during the summoning, if we're lucky enough for this to be crazy enough to work,then summoning the demon portion of a magical girl will take along the rest of said magical girl with it.
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