[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / x] [rs] [status / ? / @] [Settings] [Home]
Board:  
Settings   Home
4chan
/qst/ - Quests


File: Yes, I'm the Father.jpg (765 KB, 1800x1200)
765 KB
765 KB JPG
Midlife crisis.

That worn phrase can't cover it. Even if everything started with teenage girls in frilly costumes.

Your life got crazy after you found out your daughter was a magical girl. Bullshit leonine contracts. Blowing people's arms off with a shotgun and making them fellate it afterward. Trying to secure a decent future for your daughter and her friends. Plunging into the craziness of a youkai castle to deal with your in-laws (your wife came out as a kitsune at some point - threw down with your daughter). A bunch of other fuckery, and watching your sworn brother, a magical ferret, EAT others of his own kind to take over the awful contracts for their girls.

Oh, and two wizards, a drunk and an assassin, swore brotherhood with you in an attempt to save their daughters too.

A day's work (or a month and a half's work) for a magical mafia don. You hope you're not turning into one.

This is a midlife apocalypse. And you've got a time-traveler telling you that you could be the butterfly that flaps its wings to put off the end of the world.

You're not John, you're not on Patmos, and you're not on salvia. Apocalypses can suck your dick.

You're just a guy who's trying to make things end well for everyone.

And who invited his sister to visit and see her niece.

Well, Ellie, your sister, is a duchess of Hell now. She's been killing other dukes to take over their stuff for something like thirty years.
Once, she was a magical girl. You watched her walk into Hell back in the day, stepping into the one place where she could cut her contracts with the rats and keep collateral damage to a minimum.

And now you can only watch for the flashes of the older sister you once knew, through the demon she's become.

Her visit's been... raucous.

Oh, and there's a Duke of Hell, Gusion, who put you in a coma for a month after an invalid duel. You took his knee out before they called it, and your faction of magical girls and wizards have been fighting every idiot demon who ports into your city trying to "avenge the Duke's knee!", for the month you've been out.

He's coming back tonight. For a rematch.

But at least you turned a four-way conflict into a two-way war. You signed on another group of magical girls, Freebles devouring their tortured rat, and the local chief of police (a demon, as it turns out) swore fealty to you. With his legion.

So it's just you, with your motley crew, and Gusion with his cocksuckers (something like forty legions of them).

That's why you've going for an honor guard duel. You can't match his raw strength, and you can't take him one-on-one.

Ellie's just an uninterested third party for that duel, in terms of Hell politics.

But she's your sister. And her hellish insanity might be bleeding through the 'family' you've established into everyone else sworn as your brother/sister, and the magical girls sworn to your cause.

Like a radiator, drawing it off of her and dialing her down.

The outside of a radiator gets pretty damn hot.

[1/2]
>>
>>2770968
Can this shit quest die already?
>>
File: Faggot.png (5 KB, 240x210)
5 KB
5 KB PNG
U
>>
File: Puff of Smoke.gif (812 KB, 322x278)
812 KB
812 KB GIF
>>2770989
>>
File: Rick.jpg (117 KB, 600x600)
117 KB
117 KB JPG
>>2770968
You're not sure whether that's blame for the generalised insanity that's taken hold of your house since last night. It's not as if anyone here is a paragon of sanity on their best days.

And the most brutal fight happened before Ellie even showed up. The one that took down satellites as collateral damage.

Even the phone call you just had with Sachio and John (not of Patmos), your brothers in law, might have been the result of the usual shenanigans gone awry. You'd thought John was the most reasonable of the three (you'd had the third one, Haru, thrown in a bed with Ellie last night when they'd scored a mutual KO on each other, and that appears to have worked out better than anyone expected), but the card-sharp seems to have tried resolving Sachio's love triangle problems by getting his brother, and probably some other people blackout drunk, and Sachio's still mad.

Understandably.

The last two times you saw Sachio roaring drunk, he tried to kill you, and succeeded in killing his father, respectively. Anyone would have to be insane to try getting him drunk.

You walk over toward Kelly and Rick, who are casually smoking and swapping stories against the back wall of your house. A magical assassin and a demon chief of police are a dangerous combination, but that's almost par for the course now.

"...stuffed him back into his uniform," you hear Kelly say as you close in, obviously finishing a tale, "and his buddies got a rather explosive surprise when they recovered the body."

Rick laughs, and then notices you, "get some new intel on that call?" he asks.

"Nothing helpful," you say, "but we're not the only ones that had a crazy night. Wanted to talk strategy - first off, how accurate is Butler's map? I don't trust the guy."

"Looks reasonable," Rick tells you, and shrugs, "I haven't been back to Hell in years, and the place sort of... shifts?"

"What?"

"The lord's dominions change around them," he says, "takes a while, but they'll eventually reflect whoever holds them."

It sounds oddly like what you know of land gods.

"So we can't fight Gusion on his own turf," Kelly says, adding another puff of smoke to the gathering cloud, "he'd have a huge advantage. From what this guy tells me," he continues, prodding Rick with his elbow, "if we're doing this in Hell, we need somewhere on the border between two demon lord's domains."

>And if we're not doing it in Hell?
>Any good spots?
>Seems like you two have been getting along
>Is that going to pull in more third parties?
>WRITE IN
>>
We're live again, with way too many balls to juggle.

Twitter (for runtimes and such): https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge
Archive (for catching up): http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Shotgun
Character/Info Sheet (needs some updating, and don't take it too seriously): https://pastebin.com/54JEEFtf

>>2770989
When not enough people play, or if the mods ban me.
>>
>>2771020
>And if we're not doing it in Hell?
>Any good spots?
>>
>>2771020
>>Any good spots?
>>
>>2771020
>>And if we're not doing it in Hell? it begins to sound like a bad idea.
>>Any other good spots? Perhaps a deserted island?
>>
>>2771020
>>Any good spots?
>>And if we're not doing it in Hell?
>>
>>2771033
Maybe the city that was razed by ellie
>>
>>2771020
>And if we're not doing it in Hell?
>Any good spots?
>>
>>2771020
>>And if we're not doing it in Hell?
>>Any good spots?
>>
>>2770968
> But I'm watching ShoujoKageki Revue Starlight now, because it seems like a plot concept someone thought up on an acid trip, even though I'm not into idol-ish cute girls shows with lesbian overtones.
Yeah, you have fun with that, QM. I'm just gonna stay away from anything that can be described with that last sentence.
> later.jpg
> What the fuck is this show?
Consider me /entirely/ unsurprised.

But seriously, how ya doin', QM?
You get over your abusive relationship with the cold, hard floor yet?
>>
>>2771020
"Any good spots?" you ask.

"Focalor's domain bordered Gusion's," Rick tells you, "on a plain and a mountain range. Gusion's got a border with Beleth too, but I don't know it as well. Hell's all plains, mountains, and crevasses, anyway. We could get something in another lord's area, but we'd have to negotiate."

That sounds like playing politics.

"This is beginning to sound like a worse and worse idea," you say, "and would Gusion know that's a border with my sister now?"

"Not sure," Rick says, "I doubt anyone on that side knows about the leadership change. I think most of the big players would take the spectacle of a fight between a mortal and a duke as compensation, if we wanted to pull that one. We'd also get a built-in referee, in case he tries pulling his legions in."

"And if we're not doing it in Hell?" you ask, "not sure I want putting my life on the line to be a spectator sport."

"There's deserts," Kelly starts, "and some deserted islands, but they're all jungles. I'm a little leery about holding it anywhere on earth outside our control - although I might get someone to knock out the eyes in the sky, we're running a risk of tangling with the local supernatural folks. If something's deserted, there's usually a reason. We've also got some... assets here I can't deploy that far."

"And inhospitable environments are going to take it out of our forces," you say.

There aren't any good options.

Just ones that are bad for different reasons.

"We might be able to negotiate with the local supernatural forces," Rick says, and starts grinning, "I've got a legion of demons at your beck and call. Good ol' fashioned gunboat diplomacy, American-style," and then he takes a drag on his cigarette.

"I don't think you've ever seen a nature deity defending its turf," Kelly says, "as long at there's one tree left... and this duel," he continues, looking you in the eye, "is going to have a lot of collateral damage."

"Fair," Rick says, a little calmer.

At least you've got a decent mix of offensive capabilities. Both a flat plain and rough terrain give you some good options.

>Let's negotiate for a venue with a larger player in Hell
>Find me a deserted island, preferably one with a dead god
>If Gusion doesn't know he's bordering with Ellie and not Focalor, that could give us an advantage
>I hate deserts, but it might be our best option
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2771091
>>If Gusion doesn't know he's bordering with Ellie and not Focalor, that could give us an advantage.
>>
>>2771091
>>I hate deserts, but it might be our best option

>There aren't any good options.
This is very true. Deserts shouldn't have much in the way of life, supernatural or otherwise. And while it may be hot, I'm sure our crew can stand it for the relatively short time we're fighting. And we've got some experience in them, unpleasant as those times were.
>>
>>2771091
>>If Gusion doesn't know he's bordering with Ellie and not Focalor, that could give us an advantage
>>Lets also bring Ellie into this chat. she might have some information that can help us.

This also gives us the excuse to get her clothed again.
>>
>>2771100
Deserts shouldn't have much in the way of life, supernatural or otherwise.
Pretty certain there's a number of Arabic / other desert nomad superstitions about what powers dwell in deserts. Knowing our luck, we'd probably run into a djinn or some sort of supernatural sand fox.

(Full disclosure, my knowledge of Arabic superstition comes from a handful of half-baked references to Disney movies and a really weird novel I remember reading a small fragment of, about 10 years ago.)
>>
>>2771020
>>Any good spots?
>>Seems like you two have been getting along
>>
>>2771097
11:25 - 11:40ish voting period.

>>2771084
I will be resuming my relationship with my rug eventually, I'm sure.

If that last part lost you, we think the same. (Are you MadAboutGirlTalkAnon?) Still trying to decide whether the shoujou-ai aspect of the show is worth suffering through for the actually good parts. It's got one of the BEST transformation sequences I've seen, and the fights are really fun, particularly with the (literal) theatre that's employed.

>>2771106
>Full disclosure, my knowledge of Arabic superstition comes from a handful of half-baked references to Disney movies and a really weird novel I remember reading a small fragment of, about 10 years ago.
Full disclosure, my interpretation of every mythology I'm using is very little better. I know the sources, but fuck it, I just want to use what I think is most fun.
>>
guys, could it be possible to call in a favor with our mother in law?
We fight on her domain and she helps us beat gusion, or at least make things fair. The only problem is that i don't know if there is something she could win from this or something we could offer her. Maybe demonic forces to help her repopulate, keep the shrines nice and stuff?
>>
>>2771119
Her domain is a valley in the middle of Japan, near to the castle and at least one village. We like those people, let's not go wreck their home.
>>
>>2771091
>Find me a deserted island, preferably one with a dead god
>If Gusion doesn't know he's bordering with Ellie and not Focalor, that could give us an advantage
>>
>>2771091
>>If Gusion doesn't know he's bordering with Ellie and not Focalor, that could give us an advantage
>>2771119
The people are still rebuilding and I doubt she'd be open to the idea.
>>
>>2771116
Yup, that's me. New thread, new computer, new ID. Still the same psychological issues.

> but fuck it, I just want to use what I think is most fun.
That sounds just fine by me.
I figure if we take this into a desert, we'll probably find a djinn manifesting in the form of a sandstorm, which will be quite /fun/, as most of our heavy hitters aren't good against large dispersed targets. Sorta the grey-goo scenario, even without the self-replicating aspect.
>>
>>2771091
>If Gusion doesn't know he's bordering with Ellie and not Focalor, that could give us an advantage.
>>
File: Definitely Kelly Edwards.jpg (3.74 MB, 2450x4200)
3.74 MB
3.74 MB JPG
>>2771091
"If Gusion doesn't know who that border's with," you say, "that could be an advantage."

"If he reneges," Kelly says, realizing what that means, "and bring his legions in, then he gets crushed. I like it."

"She might know something that could help, too," you say.

Rick and Kelly both start laughing.

"Those idiots still think they're following Focalor," Rick says, "and Butler hasn't had time to inform them yet - he was playing poker with me all night. With luck, Gusion won't realize he's not on neutral ground until it's too late."

"I don't want to scratch this duel too," you tell him, " so I don't want outside interference. But she might be able to give some insight on this, so let's get her in on this."

"She just took over last night," Rick says, with a grimace, "she wouldn't know anything about Focalor's domains yet."

"And Butler's the brains behind her operation," Kelly mutters, "at least from my conversation with him. We've got one hell of a setup on this - Gusion thinks it's a neutral border."

"And I really don't want to go back in that room," the assassin mutters, with an odd look on his face.

"So we're looking at the mountains or the plains?" you ask, "I'm trying to figure out where we have the most advantage."

"If," Kelly says, "if someone sets up a decent Hell portal, I can get the drones and their controls, and a generator in there. With the magical girls who can fly, we might have air superiority right there. Close air support covereth a multitude of sins, maxim four."

And Hell means they don't kill any more satellites if they go off-target.

"I think - don't quote me on this," Rick says, "but I think Gusion's honor guard is mostly ground-pounders. Mountains might bog them down. But my info might be bad."

>Mountains
>Plains
>I think we need to talk this over with our other leaders, Mary, Madison, and the rest.
>I'm calling a general meeting, and I hope everyone's dressed.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2771179
>>I think we need to talk this over with our other leaders, Mary, Madison, and the rest.
>>
>>2771179
>I think we need to talk this over with our other leaders, Mary, Madison, and the rest.
Gotta strategize fast!
>>
>>2771179
>>I think we need to talk this over with our other leaders, Mary, Madison, and the rest.
They know their people's capabilities better than anyone.
>>
>>2771179
>>I think we need to talk this over with our other leaders, Mary, Madison, and the rest.
>>
>>2771179
>I think we need to talk this over with our other leaders, Mary, Madison, and the rest.

QM WHEN DO WE TAKE JAPAN
>>
>>2771219
Why HAVEN"T we done that yet?
>>
>>2771212
Probably when we raise the Yamoto from it's watery tomb. But that's just my guess.
4chan pls stap fucking with my posts
>>
>>2771219
>Probably when we raise the Yamoto from it's watery tomb.
i don't know why, but it sounds like a bad idea.
>>
>>2771231
Anon, a fair amount of our choices were built off of seemingly bad ideas. Knowing us, it would be the least of our sins before the year is out.
>>
>>2771179
>I think we need to talk this over with our other leaders, Mary, Madison, and the rest.
>I'm calling a general meeting, and I hope everyone's dressed.
>>
>>2771202
While I’m thinking about we should also get the thousand year sword’s opinions on battle plans. It’s politics might be antiquated but battles are kind of it’s specialty.
>>
>>2771242
Can we do like a conference call thing with it so everyone can hear and talk to it?
>>
>>2771179
"I think we need to talk this one over with the rest of our leadership," you say, and turn to go back inside.

"So you're not just going to make a decision," Rick says, and you look back at him as he stubs his cigarette out, "and tell everyone else to deal?"

"I'm no demon lord," you say marching along, "they know their people's capabilities. And that's a shit management strategy."

You catch a look from him.

"I have sworn loyalty to you," Rick says, "and I have a legion at my back."

"So I'll have a cheer squad," you mutter, "wonderful," you say, pushing open the back door.

It's the scene you've begun to expect from your living room - people everywhere, playing (and yelling about) videogames, conversations rin odd languages between wizards, magical girls lounging on couches while reading through your library, and all that jazz.

"Leadership meeting," you tell them, as you step inside, "NOW. In the dining room," and you keep walking. You can't waste any time - there's a duke of Hell about to knock on your door.

By the time you're in your chair at the head of the table, they're all here. Mary, with Harriet standing behind her chair, Liska, seated at your right hand, Madison, with her pet wizard (James, wasn't it?) behind hers, W, Kelly, and Rick. Freebles jumps onto the table and curls up.

Butler slides into a seat as if he doesn't want anyone to notice him.

"We all like this city," you begin, "so I'm giving some weight to taking this duel into Hell. Y'all been thinking about it?"

"You saw Myrna kill satellites," Madison says, "and there's no collateral damage I care about in Hell. We're down."

"Let's take the fight to him," Mary says, grinning, "let's show him what happens when he fucks with us."

Then a voice speaks from behind you, "he told me to give him to you for this," Sue says, and the Thousand Year Blade lands in your lap.

"A COUNCIL OF WAR?" thunders into your mind, "ARE WE FINALLY MARCHING ON EDO?"

"I think my brother's got that covered," you think at it, "but I think your advice might be good for this one."

"I WILL ADVISE, LORD!" you hear in your head, as you realize that most of the wakeful occupants of your house are filing into the room.

Soon you'll start charging rent.

>Mountains or plains, where do we have the advantage?
>Where are Ellie and Haru?
>Has anybody been unsatisfied with a party at my place?
>I trust my showers were hot enough for y'all.
>Butler, all dissimulations aside, is this a good idea? You drew the damn map.
>WRITE IN [write ins are super appreciated for this scene]
>>
>>2771257
>Where are Ellie and Haru?
>Butler, all dissimulations aside, is this a good idea? You drew the damn map.
>Mountains or plains, where do we have the advantage?
>>
>>2771257
>>Butler, all dissimulations aside, is this a good idea? You drew the damn map.
>>
>>2771259
Supporting.
>>
>>2771257
>Where are Ellie and Haru?
>Butler, all dissimulations aside, is this a good idea? You drew the damn map.
>Mountains or plains, where do we have the advantage?
>Girls, you have been fighting demons for awhile, any input. Supposedly we are up against a lot of ground pounders.
>>
>>2771257
>>2771271
Rick, know of any good places slap down a hell portal to move the predators, operators and any other materials into focalor’s old domain. Logistics wins battles
>>
>>2771257
>>Mountains or plains, where do we have the advantage?
We know where Ellie and Haru are; they haven't left the bedroom. And butler is here in lieu of Ellie, and the foxes aren't actually involved in this.
>>
>>2771257
>>Mountains or plains, where do we have the advantage?
>Girls, you have been fighting demons for awhile, any input. Supposedly we are up against a lot of ground pounders.
>>
>>2771257
"Butler," you say, spearing the demon with what you hope is the force of a thousand Dad Glares, "all dissimulations aside, is this a good idea?"

You barely see everyone press into their seats. Or the knees on the standers buckle.

"The best I could come up with," the demon says, his monocle shining, "for a bunch of mortals challenging a duke of Hell."

"We're not 'a bunch of mortals'!" Mary yells at him, rising from her chair, "we're magical girls!"

"And I've been babysit-" Butler begins, then catches your eye again, and looks back at Mary, "er, prime minister to a fallen magical girl for thirty years. You know the rats put power limiters on you girls?"

That's like putting Little Boy on the table as a centerpiece. The room goes nuts before you can do anything.

"I broke them," Mary says, in an extremely calm voice that cuts across the chaos, staring the demon down as she pets Freebles like a white cat, "Melon got around them. Don't make assumptions."

"I was just talking about the map," Butler wheezes, slumping into his chair as a wave of supernatural pressure bear down on the table.

"And you're going to tell us if the map is good," Madison says, rising from her seat with an effort, "or you're going to die."

"They're the best ones I could draw!" Butler yells, "I'm not an artist. But I am a demon," he continues, grinning, "I can see who's a virgin... and who ISN'T!"

"Not sure anyone cares," Liska says, cutting the red wire on that bomb, then she leans toward him, and you see those teeth and the claws that have scored your back more than once, "one more attempt to divide us, and I won't give a shit if you're the grand poobah for my sister-in-law. We have a circle down - you can't run. We'll know if you try to port out. Ellie's rather busy right now. Tell the truth, or you die."

It's going to take a lot of sanding to get those scratches out on this table.

"The map's accurate," Butler says, his eyes flickering around the table, "you didn't have to pull bad cop and worse cop on me!"

Rick grins.

"Mountains or plains," you ask, "where do we have the advantage?"

"Mountains," several voices say at once, and Mary continues, "Gusion's got some fliers who will come over them. We lay in wait, shoot them down, get air superiority, and fuck their ground forces to death."

>Everyone release it, air's getting heavy
>W, negotiate that
>No, we did have to pull that on you. Trust, but verify, and all that.
>Ellie needs to know what we're planning, so she doesn't fuck it up
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2771345
> Everyone release it, air's getting heavy
> Ellie needs to know what we're planning, so she doesn't fuck it up
>>
>>2771345
>>Ellie needs to know what we're planning, so she doesn't fuck it up
>Everyone release it, air's getting heavy
>>
>>2771345
>Everyone release it, air's getting heavy
>Ellie needs to know what we're planning, so she doesn't fuck it up
I don't care if we have to drag her out on the damned mattress for her to hear this.
>>
>>2771345
>>Everyone release it, air's getting heavy
>No, we did have to pull that on you. Trust, but verify, and all that.
>Ellie needs to know what we're planning, so she doesn't fuck it up

>You know the rats put power limiters on you girls?"
>"I broke them," Mary says
>"Melon got around them
Right, add that to the pile of things we need to go over more thoroughly later.
>>
>>2771345
>>Everyone release it, air's getting heavy
>Ellie needs to know what we're planning, so she doesn't fuck it up

It is her territory. Don't want anything pinging in her head without her consent.

Also, did he just threaten to reveal if Mary was a virgin or not?I feel like the power gap would mean she is since she doesn't feel like she can be human enough for it.
>>
>>2771345
>"I broke them," Mary says, in an extremely calm voice that cuts across the chaos, staring the demon down as she pets Freebles like a white cat, "Melon got around them. Don't make assumptions."
wait, what? that's why mary's aura is so crushing? Also on that line of thought, why didn't freebles off the girl? wouldn't a limiter-less MG be bad for business?

Also:
>Ellie needs to know what we're planning, so she doesn't fuck it up
>W, Rick and Kelly, coordinate between yourselves to see if you can come up with some stratagems or something.
>Everyone release it, air's getting heavy
>>
>>2771360
I feel Freebles would have thought one none limited girl would give him a leg up on the competition.
>>
>>2771345
>Everyone release it, air's getting heavy.
>Ellie needs to know what we're planning, so she doesn't fuck it up.
>W, Rick and Kelly, coordinate between yourselves to see if you can come up with some stratagems or something.
>>
>>2771363
This just brings a shitload of questions.
then why didn't he break the limiters of the other girls? or why didn't the other rats do so? Could the limiter be increased so the MG's become less destructive? Could the same thing happen to Ellie? We know she defaulted her contract, but she still kept her powers, or some semblance of it. could the same limiter be broken on her current state? could we apply a new limiter to her abilities?
>>
>>2771377
As far as why he didn't do it to all of them I can only guess that it would draw too much attention. You can get away with bullshit as long as you moderate it. Hell, his boss might even know he let that happen as long as his numbers improve in a way that doesn't get him in trouble, or he's had to explain what's going on to the higher ups and they approved because the cost vs earnings looked good to them.

As far as what Ellie has going on I couldn't guess.
>>
File: this plot.png (28 KB, 167x81)
28 KB
28 KB PNG
>>2771350
14:12 - 14:35ish Voting period.

>>2771360
>wait, what? that's why mary's aura is so crushing?
Per an earlier thread, some girls (of which Mary is one) REALLY gel with the transformation. The rats' magic isn't built to deal with those outliers, so it breaks.
>why didn't freebles off the girl?
Maybe the MC got to him before he had to decide between goddess-level magical girl and goddess-level apocalypse monster. According to Harriet, other timelines have been apocalypses because Mary got cut off, or because she couldn't bleed off the energy.
>>2771363
>Freebles would have thought one non limited girl would give him a leg up on the competition.
Also this. It's a 'competitive advantage' for a businessman.
>>2771357
>did he just threaten to reveal if Mary was a virgin or not?
That was basically a 'last ace in a lost hand' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaIo82uT0qs bluff against every magical girl in the room, and Liska shut him the fuck down.
>>
>>2771345
"Everyone," you say, "release it. Air's getting heavy."

And you take a deep breath as the pressure drains from the room. If you're just flaring out part of Ellie's power, how much does your sister have?

"That was a bit intense," Madison says, visibly sweating as some of the magical girls pick themselves up off the floor.

"W," you barely hear James whisper to the wizard, "is it always like this?"

"Sometimes," W says, leaning back and taking another sip from his apparently eternal wineglass, "you don't like it? Then get in or get out."

"Fuck it," the trenchcoat wizard says, looking at you, "deal me in."

"I'll think about it," you say, not sure if James realizes what he's saying, or if you really want him in the yarnball.

"Ellie needs to know," you say, looking around the table, "she need to know what we're planning," you say, and then fix Butler with your best glare, "so she doesn't fuck it up."

"She's fucked up better plans," the demon mumbles, and stares deep into his coffee.

"BUTLER!" you hear from over your shoulder, "I wasn't going to negotiate with those jackasses!"

It's Ellie. And Haru. At least they're both dressed,

"We've got a plan," you say, and detail it out to your sister, "and please don't fuck it up."

Ellie gives a demonic rant of a laugh.

"I won't scratch your duel," she says, displacing Sue for a place at the table, "I kind of want to see this. And Focalor's fuckbags don't know who their leader is now?" she yells at Butler.

"I got caught up in a card game," Butler says, looking very innocent, "your grace."

"You should be glad I'm in a decent mood," Ellie says, as she slides into a seat, "or I'd... ah, you've earned your place several times over, Butler."

"Why thank you, your grace," the demon says, bowing as ar as he can in his chair.

>W, get word to Focalor about the venue.
>Haru, I need to talk to you about what you brothers have been up to.
>Ellie, aren't you afraid he'll betray you?
>Freebles, can you rewrite contracts to take off those limiters?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2771516
>W, get word to Focalor about the venue.
>Haru, I need to talk to you about what you brothers have been up to.
>Freebles, We'll talk about the limiters later when we have the time.
>>
>>2771516
>>W, get word to Focalor about the venue.
Stay focused. Time is short, let's get this duel behind us before we go opening another dozen cans of worms, though they will need opening sooner or later.
>>
>>2771516
>Haru, I need to talk to you about what you brothers have been up to.
>Freebles, We'll talk about the limiters later when we have the time.

>W, get word to Focalor about the venue.
i...don't get this option. isn't folcalor dead?
>>
>>2771516
>>W, get word to Focalor about the venue.
Fuck me, that should have been getting word to Gusion about the venue for the duel. Focalor's dead.
>>
>>2771541
You're right, op made a derp and meant Guison.
>>
>>2771526
15:13 - 15:30ish voting period.

And yes, the first option should be getting word to Gusion. FUCK keeping track of goetic demons. Actually, I just fucked up.
>>
>>2771556
It's okay OP, you get headpats too.
>>
>>2771560
>you get headpats too.
Only if you're paying for the plane ticket to come give them to me.

I screwed that option up. And this is the third time I've admitted it.

I don't want anyone to get boned over my typos.
>>
>>2771573
OP Breathe, it's not the end of the world (As we know it), we get the actual meaning.
Also you're going to have to deal with psychic/astral projected headpats since I'm too lazy to live but too active to die.
>>
>>2771573
Considering your tendency to drink while writing, I'm impressed at how few mistakes you make, honestly.

And this one is minor screw up anyway.
>>
>>2771516
>apparently eternal wineglass
He enchanted it, didn't he. Probably an anti-spill spell on it too.

>>2771526
Supporting.
>>
>>2770989
Kek, one of the liveliest quests on the board (((shit))). Did you ever think that maybe your taste is shit anon?
>>
File: Also a Bother in Law.jpg (57 KB, 730x540)
57 KB
57 KB JPG
>>2771516
"W," you say, looking at the wizard, "negotiate with Gusion about the change of venue to the mountain range between his domain and Focalor's."

"I'll summon one of his lower-level idiots in the back," W says, rising from the table, then he looks around and yells, "DON'T come out there!" and then he stalks out toward the backyard.

Well, you've got the venue settled.

"Freebles," you say, looking at your ferret, "we're going to have to talk about those limiters later."

"Bro," the ferret says, getting up on his hind feet, "I went over those with the wizards. Full disclosure: There's only two ways to break them - OVERPOWER them. Like ripping a Chinese Finger Toy in half. Or burning it. Well, they," he says, looking around the room, "could break the contract, but I really wouldn't recommend it."

"I wouldn't either," you say, looking over the room, and thinking about Ellie, "Haru," you say, "I need to talk about what what your brothers have been up to."

He looks at you like this is news, and follows you into your bedroom. As does Liska.

"Sachio destroyed his phone," you say, "partway through talking with me. And John picked it up, panicking."

"Did John get Sachio wasted?" Haru asks in the hallway, "stealing a march on me for that bet!"

"As far as I know," you tell him, and the damn fox still smells like sex, "he got him blackout drunk. And he woke up with your pick."

"God," Haru says, "no wonder Sachio's mad. I think he's the only idiot that thought continuing the bloodline was worth shit."

"You didn't?" Liska asks, and Haru turns toward her, pinning your wife against the wall.

"You saw what that sort of arranged fuckery leads to!" he yells, and you're pretty sure the entire house heard him, "DO YOU WANT A REPEAT!?" he asks Liska, as she finds he feet and slams him against the other side of the hallway.

"I want him to be happy," your wife says, "AND YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GO FOR PRESERVING THE BLOODLINE!" she screams, pinning Haru to the wall as he bares his teeth.

>I think we're all on the same side here
>Just fight it out - it's what your family does. Just please do it outside.
>Haru, I believe this means you have the money to repair my guest bedroom
>I think he had some other reason. Stow it.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2771787
>I think we're all on the same side here

Also quick question, who was it that he woke up with. If it wasn't the one he would personally have chosen how do we help fix it and or run damage control so he doesn't go batshit because he wanted things to be a bit more romantic than blacking out and waking up with them.
>>
>>2771787
>I think we're all on the same side here
>Haru, Liska, Ratchet it down to a 5, you're at a 8.
>>
>>2771787
>>Just fight it out - it's what your family does. Just please do it outside.
>*Mumble* *Grumble* ...radiator effect....(lets go for popcorn)
>>
>>2771787
>Just fight it out - it's what your family does. Just please do it outside.
>>
>>2771787
>Can we please go two fucking minutes in this house without a fight or shouting match? Behave like the goddamn adults you're supposed to be
>>
....guys, we can't let them go outside. W is making his mumbo jumbo.
>>
>>2771787
>I think we're all on the same side here
>Haru, Liska, Ratchet it down to a 5, you're at a 8.
Because while this is "fun" and all to watch siblings fight, we still gotta unfuck the Gusion situation.
>>
>>2771787
>Haru, I believe this means you have the money to repair my guest bedroom
I've got no clue what's even going on here, and I'm gonna be popping in and out for a while. Just leaving this here - it really fits our 'dad' style of conversational martial arts.
E'rrybody was kung-fu fighting! / The barbs were fast as lightning!

>>2771800
>who was it that he woke up with
According to 'our' best guess, the shrine maiden, the ice-based yuki-onna who played clay-thrower, and a third woman who I don't remember.

>>2771821
Also this.
>>
>>2771800
16:30 - 16:45ish Voting period.

I'm honestly amazed by the amount of hatred everyone in that household has for their father. I shouldn't be, considering they were all totally cool with him biting it.
>>
>>2771787
>>I think he had some other reason. Stow it.
Or, ya know, he wanted someone of the same race as himself or personal reasons. Seem pretty reasonable to not want to marry someone of a different species if you prefer your own kind.
>>
>>2771787
Haru, I believe this means you have the money to repair my guest bedroom
>>
>>2771787
See, my original post about preserving the bloodline wasn't about the family lineage, it was about the foxes as a species surviving. Melon is a halfblood, which means Foxes don't breed true with humans at least.


Personally, I'd be ok with Sachio actually murdering whoever set him up like that. He is more or less being forced to marry someone he didn't pick, as the head of house, because someone "though he needed to get laid".
>>
>>2771787
>I think we're all on the same side here
>Haru, Liska, Ratchet it down to a 5, you're at an 8.
>Now's not the time to lose our shit, we need to save that for later, as hard as it is.
>>
>>2771787
>>I think we're all on the same side here
>>Haru, Liska, Ratchet it down to a 5, you're at an 8.
>>Now's not the time to lose our shit, we need to save that for later, as hard as it is.
>>
>>2771787
>I think we're all on the same side here
>Haru, Liska, Ratchet it down to a 5, you're at an 8.
>Now's not the time to lose our shit, we need to save that for later, as hard as it is.
>We all need something to unwind... like a punching ball or a squeeze toy.
>>
>>2771787
"I think you're saying the same thing," you tell them, and they glance at you, "and if you're not, please ratchet it down to a five. You're both at least at an eight."

Haru gasps in a deep breath, which is rather hard to do with Liska's clawed hand wrapped around his throat.

"I don't care about the bloodline," he says, "I'm actually glad he ended up with a human. Not just because I had a bet on it!" he yells, and her hold loosens.

"I'd think you would care the most," Liska says, and you get the awful feeling you've been pulled into some sort of family struggle.

"Father rampaged through the," Haru says, and gasps for breath, "the 'Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere' in revenge for me," he finishes, staring up at his sister, "WHO WANTS TO KNOW THAT WAS DONE IN HIS NAME?"

John did tell you that he'd bet on Haru killing your father in law.

"Not me," Haru says, and sags, held up only by Liska's claws, "go ahead, take my head off."

"He's dead," you hear Liska breathe, "his crimes aren't yours," and she throws Haru to the ground, in your hallway.

"God," the kitsune says, gasping for breath in your hallway, kneeling on the floor, "just give me a clean death."

>Live a clean life
>The crimes of the fathers aren't visited on their children like that
>You'd better follow through on the hope you gave my sister
>Give him a clean death
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2771980
>>Live a clean life
>Also I am pretty sure you're my sister's boyfriend now, and she'd be pretty pissed for me clam jamming her again. Right sis?
>>
>>2771980
>>The crimes of the fathers aren't visited on their children like that


>Give him a clean death
This option is weirdly attractive. I'm game if he is, though it'll cause a whole new set of issues.
>>
>>2771980
>You want to atone for that? Fine, live a good life.
>>
>>2771980
>>You want to atone for that? Fine, live a good life.
>>
>>2771980
>You want to atone for that? Fine, live a good life.
>You're family now, twice as much, so there's no way we're letting you go like a bitch
>>
>>2771980
>You want to atone for that? Fine, live a good life. Do good things.
No real way around that, 'cause there's somethings not even Death can cure. (And it can cure a lot)
>>
>>2771990
17:30-17:45 Voting period or so.

>>2771997
I think Haru's in a worse place than his siblings, because he's struggling with the fact that what his father did might have been driven by taking revenge for him.
There's a reason John bet on him as the one to kill their father.
>>
>>2771980
>Live a clean life
>You'd better follow through on the hope you gave my sister
>Hey if I kill you right now my sister would kill me...I mean we have a weakness in....fluffy things. *blush like a school girl*
>>
>>2771980
>>Live a clean life
>>The crimes of the fathers aren't visited on their children like that
>>You'd better follow through on the hope you gave my sister
>>
>>2772002
>>2772007
>>2772017
>>2772022
Really? You want to tell him he's responsible for his father's actions, and that he needs to atone for them? Is that really the message you want to send?
>>
>>2771858
Next time we talk to Kelly, we should mention we might know a guy that might need a job done, and pass along his contact info.
>>
>>2771980
Live a clean life
>>
>>2772038
the man feels responsible, and we(read: me) really don't want to kill him for something he isn't responsible for. The best solution is to "punish" him by making him live a good life until we can really deal with the issue.
>>
>>2771980
> Live a clean life
> You'd better follow through on the hope you gave my sister
> "You'll never be able to undo the things your father did. Instead, you should be a better man than him. And, in danger of sounding like some kind of cliche, you should work to make the world a safer, kinder place that we can pass on to our children."
>>
>>2771980
If we think he'd buy it, then >>2772034
Else, >>2772022
>>
I appear to be fading out, sorry about that.

Next rutime on twitter, and all that: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge
>>
>>2772143
It's fine, I know how that feels. Catch ya sometime later this week (I hope).
>>
>>2772143
>ROUND WINNER: BED
>>
>>2771980
>Live a clean life
>The crimes of the fathers aren't visited on their children like that
>Also I am pretty sure you're my sister's boyfriend now, and she'd be pretty pissed for me clam jamming her again. Right sis?
>>
>>2772175
Im thankful it wasn't the floor
>>
>>2772187
>Also I am pretty sure you're my sister's boyfriend now
With her track record, a day of fucking do not a couple make. She could certainly do worse than him, and vice versa, but lets not push them into something they're not ready for.
>>
>>2772201
True. I mean, its a great way to tease the shit out of him, but I don't think either one of them are ready for a steady relationship. Him, obviously because he's gotta get past dad's awful 'legacy', and her because she's gotta deal with demonic shit fucking with her head.

Though, having a happy ending for everyone is our ultimate goal, is it not? Everyone gets to live and laugh and love and have a fucking future that doesn't abruptly end in a bloody and violent demise. Like, Karen and Angus might have jumped the gun a little, but they do have the right idea.
>>
>>2772238
>Though, having a happy ending for everyone is our ultimate goal, is it not?
It is.

Though I take minor issue with needing romance or a partner to be happy. Many people want it, to be sure, but it isn't a requirement.
>>
>>2771980
Live a clean life

If I killed you, my wife might be the next target for my sister affectionsand i need a meat shield
>>
>>2771980
>You'd better follow through on the hope you gave my sister

Death is the easy way out, second only to floors.
>>
File: lctas82bj4d11.jpg (286 KB, 1125x1131)
286 KB
286 KB JPG
>>2771137
>>2771858
>>2772245
>>
>>2771980
Don't you dare. No dropping out is allowed in the contest to become the favorite uncle.
>>
>>2771980
>WRITE IN
>I don’t think that’s necessary
>why does everything have to be so overdramatic?
>>
>>2771980
>live a clean life
No point in wasting ammo at someone innocent.
>>
>>2771980
>>Live a clean life
>>
>>2771980
"Just live a clean life," you say, "no dropping out allowed in the contest to be favorite uncle."

"Ok," Haru says from the floor, looking up at you, "you really do remind me of him."

"Who?" you ask, hoping you're not getting baited into a dumb joke.

"Nevermind," the fox says, sitting up in something like a meditating pose, his back against the wall of the hall, "I usually don't go off like that. Not sure what happened there."

You're beginning to understand why John bet on him to kill the old fox. The guy looks like he should be surrounded by blowing cherry blossoms as a stone Buddha in a zen garden, and he was begging for death a few seconds ago?

Yeah, 'tightly-wound' doesn't begin to describe it.

And you can guess why he's spent so much time meditating. Anyone would, if they were an inch from going off like that.

"Conversation through combat?" Liska asks, looking down at him, "that's your thing, isn't it?" she finishes, and then gets on the floor herself, hugging her brother.

Haru laughs.

You sigh, and look toward the living room end of the hallway, as several heads pull back around the corners.

The whole house heard that exchange, didn't they?

"Can we please take this somewhere with a little privacy?" you ask, loudly enough that you're sure the eavesdroppers heard it, and extend your hands to Liska and her brother.

She gives him a last squeeze, and then you help the two of them off the floor. As the three of you walk back to the bedroom together, you whisper "besides, I think Ellie would actually kill me if I clam-jammed her again. Or she'd go after Liska," you finish, squeezing your wife's arm.

Well, that gets you a barking laugh from both of the foxes.

You enter your bedroom and sit on your bed, only to be near-tackled by Liska. Haru slumps into a chair, and raises an eyebrow at her lying on top of you on the bed.

Like he has ANY room to look superior about it!

>Do I need to send you home to stabilize things?
>Are you two doing ok? I think the Radiator Effect is hitting you guys the hardest.
>I hear you've made enough money to pay for my sheets.
>I don't think you have enough moral high ground to be giving me that look.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2773494
>Are you two doing ok? I think the Radiator Effect is hitting you guys the hardest.
>>
>>2773494
>I don't think you have enough moral high ground to be giving me that look.
>>Are you two doing ok? I think the Radiator Effect is hitting you guys the hardest.
How they react to the idea that they're channeling demon mojo will help inform us if that's a thing or not.
>>
>>2773494
>>Do I need to send you home to stabilize things?
>>Are you two doing ok? I think the Radiator Effect is hitting you guys the hardest.

>Let her stay there for a second, then gently remove her.
We don't need to be acting like a demon, talking to people with someone draped over us.
>>
>>2773494
>>I hear you've made enough money to pay for my sheets and the room.
>Are you two doing ok? I think the Radiator Effect is hitting you guys the hardest.
>>
>>2773494
>Are you two doing ok? I think the Radiator Effect is hitting you guys the hardest.
>>
>>2773498
If there's anyone we can lay in front of with the hottest woman in the world draped over us its the guy who just spent 12 hours banging our sister on our bed.
>>
>>2773494
>Do I need to send you home to stabilize things?
>Are you two doing ok? I think the Radiator Effect is hitting you guys the hardest.
>>
>>2773494
>Are you two doing ok? I think the Radiator Effect is hitting you guys the hardest.
>I don't think you have enough moral high ground to be giving me that look.
>Besides she's my wife and this is my house.
>>
>>2773494
>>Are you two doing ok? I think the Radiator Effect is hitting you guys the hardest.
>>
File: Totally the wife.png (2.39 MB, 2665x2453)
2.39 MB
2.39 MB PNG
>>2773494
"Are you two," you ask, looking up at Liska and over at Haru, who's somehow managed to contort himself into a lotus pose in the chair, "doing ok? I think the Radiator Effect might be hitting you guys the hardest."

"Radiator Effect?" Liska asks, her breath warm on your ear, "is that some new hilarity the wizards came up with?"

Oh, right, she doesn't know yet.

So you give a precis of what W was talking about earlier.

"Hmm," she says, rolling off of you and propping herself up on her elbow, still lying against you, "I don't feel any different."

"And you're forgetting something important," Haru says, staring at the two of you from the chair, "all jokes aside, I'm not your sworn brother. I'm not in that thing, so I can't use it as an excuse."

"Ashamed you let the mask slip for a bit?" Liska asks, from over your shoulder, and you see the shadows of her tails dance across your bed, caught in the soft light from the window behind you.

"He's dead, you know," she continues, "you don't have to keep it on all the time. And you're already a better man than he ever was."

"That's not saying much," Haru says, his eyebrows clenching down, and Liska laughs.

"Melon loves you," you tell him, "we love you, man, even if you're a bit prickly sometimes. Ellie... well, I've got no clue what's going through her head, but the two of you wrecked a bed. And you're paying."

That turned out a little more ramblingly awkward than you'd intended. But it's the thought that counts, right?

"If John pays up," Haru says, smiling, "I'm going to able to stuff a mattress with Yukichis. I'm not surprised Sachio's mad, though. That puts him in a pretty bad put-up-or-shut-up."

"Wait," Liska says, "who was your pick for that? Don't tell me he actually ended up with Yuki."

"Oh," Haru says, once he stops laughing, "it's worse. That would have been a one-time thing. Someone ended up mediating between the human and the supernatural a bit... personally," he finishes, with a grin.

"Christ," Liska says, "that's like Gorbachev fucking Reagan during glasnost. And I think I owe you money."

Wait, they were ALL betting on this?

You're beginning to think you've really gone among mad people here.

And you might be the maddest of all - since you were the one that gathered them.

>If we're all a bit calmer, let's go back out.
>Haru, you want to join up for the honor guard fight?
>Wait, one of your brothers is going to cut another's ears off, and you don't care?
>We can have Freebles port you back if that's going to be necessary.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2773569
>>We can have Freebles port you back if that's going to be necessary.
>>
>>2773569
>>We can have Freebles port you back if that's going to be necessary.
>>
>>2773569
>We can have Freebles port you back if that's going to be necessary.
>>
>>2773569
>>We can have Freebles port you back if that's going to be necessary.
If we are good.
>If we're all a bit calmer, let's go back out.
>>
>>2773569
>>We can have Freebles port you back if that's going to be necessary.
>>
>>2773569
"I get the feeling it's been a long month for everyone," you say, as both the foxes laugh, "we can have Freebles take you back," you continue, looking at Haru, "if you think that's going to be necessary."

"I'm staying here," Haru says, "Sachio and John can sort it out without me. If John ends up getting all four of his ears cut off in the castle square, I'll hear about it afterward."

"And they'll grow back," Liska mutters from behind you.

"Besides," Haru says, spreading his arms wide, "where else am I going to find this amount of magical knowledge under one roof? And a demon lords' duel later? You can't watch that on television."

"Magical," Liska says, and you can hear the grin in her voice, "carnal knowledge?"

"Uh," Haru says, giving you a very guarded look, "I was talking about the wizards."

If the wizards are the main reason he's sticking around, you'll eat several of your hats. But it's probably best not to press the issue.

"If we're all a bit calmer," you say, levering yourself off the bed, and giving a hand to Liska to help her up, "let's go back out."

"I'm just glad to hear our brothers are having some fun in that old castle," Liska says, and slaps Haru on the back.

"Was the castle ever not fun?" Haru asks her, as she opens the door, and you hear the unmistakable sound of eavesdroppers running away down the hall.

The three of you look at each other.

"It feels like home," Liska says.

"At least the walls themselves don't have ears," Haru tells her with a grin.

Is that a real thing in Japanese folklore?

Liska starts walking down the hall as Haru grabs your arm.

"Deal me in," he whispers, "I know I was kind of a dick to you back in Japan, but if you're fighting a duke of Hell, you're going to want me, brother in law."

>Yes
>No
>I've got at least one more guy who wants in, and it's rather a production with the banners and all, so we might as well do it in bulk
>Why did you bet on her, anyway?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2773637
>Yes
>>
>>2773637
>If you can find me the remains of Jimmy Hoffa, then I'll accept.
>I'm just kidding, you're already in.
>>
>>2773637
>If you want in on this, I won't stop you. We're going to need all the firepower we can get.
>Yes
>I've got at least one more guy who wants in, and it's rather a production with the banners and all, so we might as well do it in bulk
>>
>>2773637
>>Yes
Sure, I guess. He made a poor first impression, but has since made up for it.
>>
>>2773637
Yes
>>
>>2773637
>>I've got at least one more guy who wants in, and it's rather a production with the banners and all, so we might as well do it in bulk
>>
>>2773646
>Jimmy Hoffa
My dad was working at a truck terminal in Detroit during that time period, saw the "Where's Jimmy Hoffa? Call this number" bumper sticker on a trailer, and apparently had a conversation with the FBI where he managed to convince them he'd just called for fun after seeing the number and he didn't know anything.

Weird coincidence that's the unsolved mystery you picked.
>>
>>2773685
I figured it would be a good mystery to pull up since we got magicians, demons, and fluffy tails to help figure this shit out.
>>
File: Jimmy Hoffa.jpg (35 KB, 900x479)
35 KB
35 KB JPG
>>2773637
"If you can find me the remains of Jimmy Hoffa," you tell him, "then I'll accept."

"What do you mean, 'the remains'?" Haru asks you, "the guy's still alive."

"You've got to be joking," you say, walking down the hall, "next you're going to be telling me he's chilling with Elvis, Charlemagne, Merlin, and King-fucking-Arthur."

"I was, actually," he says, "look, Avalon's a big place."

You can't tell whether the fox is fucking with you.

"We need all the firepower we can get," you tell him, "and you made an awful first impression, but," you nod at Melon as you walk into the living room, then whisper to Haru, "you've made up for it."

"We've got some other idiots who want to sign up!" Freebles says, gesturing at James and Rob.

Oh god, the ferret's already strung up the drunkenly-brushed banners, and there are dishes of sake on the coffee table.

"Are you fucking sure?" you ask, raking your eyes across James and Rob.

"It's not the stupidest thing I've ever done," the wizard says, "probably not even in the top ten. And," he continues with a smile, "I WILL weasel out if it becomes a problem."

"My sister's in," Rob says, then glances around the room, "I might as well be. I want to fight alongside her. And WE want to kill a shitload of demons. Yeah," he says, looking at his hand, "you got a vote this time. Happy?"

Ellie gives you a sharklike grin.

>Fuck it, add three idiots to your roster.
>Tell them all why this is a terrible idea (and relent when they give their reasons)
>Reject the half-demon. You don't need more of that in your yarnball.
>Are you ready to follow me into Hell itself?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2773765
>Fuck it, add three idiots to your roster.
Time to Katamari Damancy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMH49ieL4es
>>
>>2773765
>Fuck it, add three idiots to your roster.
>>
>>2773765
>Are you ready to follow me into Hell itself?
>Tell them all why this is a terrible idea (and relent when they give their reasons)
>>
>>2773765
>>Tell them all why this is a terrible idea (and relent when they give their reasons)
I've got a bad feeling about adding a half demon, but it doesn't seem to have affected his personality like it has Ellie's, and I'm not sure how to gracefully reject him.
>>
>>2773765
>add the three idiots.
If anything, they'll be more radiators for our sister
>>
>>2773765
>Tell them all why this is a terrible idea (and relent when they give their reasons)
>Fuck it, add three idiots to your roster.
>>
>>2773765
>Tell them all why this is a terrible idea (and relent when they give their reasons)
>Fuck it, add three idiots to your roster.

Good to catch this semi-live again.
You looking at crashing out early again QM, or are you gonna abuse those 14 hours for all they've got?
>>
File: An Altar.jpg (70 KB, 630x400)
70 KB
70 KB JPG
>>2773765
"You realize this is an awful idea," you say, staring down the wizard and the surgical half-demon.

They stumble half a step back, and you realize you're unleashing supernatural pressure.

Fuck it, let them take it.

"My life's been one long awful idea," James says, cracking his knuckles behind his head, then taking a step forward, "and if I'm your brother, I get to smoke in the house, right?" he asks, glancing quickly at Madison.

Rob's breathing hard and deep, but still on his feet.

"I can definitely say," he tells you, and looks at his hand, "this isn't the worst thing that's happened to me. And your rat," he says, glancing at Freebles, "already dealt her in."

"Are you idiots ready to go into Hell itself?" Freebles asks, perched on the back of your couch.

"This is my sword," Rob says, "there are many like it, but this one is mine."

"My magic is my best friend," James says, "it IS my life."

"I must master it as I must master my life," Haru says, "without me, my magic is useless. Without it, I am useless."

Are they actually doing this?

"Fuck it," you say, walking over to the coffee table, "under the gaze of two gods and the current emperor, swear to be my younger brothers. And DON'T go Full Metal Jacket on me."

You realize all the dishes are just dinner plates, flooded with sake.

You take a sip from one dish, and Haru finishes it.

You take a sip from another, and James finishes it.

You take a sip from the last, and Rob gulps it down.

"A second," he says, "swear my demon to you."

>Fine.
>It's your demon. Bring him to heel.
>I thought you ate him, or gestalted him?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2773851
>I thought you ate him, or gestalted him?
>[x] Concern
>>
>>2773851
>>I thought you ate him, or gestalted him?
>[x] Concern
>>
>>2773851
>>I thought you ate him, or gestalted him?
>Fine.
>>
>>2773851
>I thought you ate him, or gestalted him?
>Fine.

So is this where we find out, Our final big end game quest boss is Sister who thinks we want to take over and its just like ' nah we adopted these tards'
>>
>>2773890
That is a good question. Why does our sister wants to conquer all of hell? I doubt the answer is as simple as "just because she can".
>>
>>2773909
Probably a large chunk of it is just demonic instincts - a lust for power, a predisposition to 'might makes right', and literally feeding on strong emotions.
It's not really helped by the fact that fighting and fucking are (at least, as much as I've seen) pretty much the same for demons - the line between the mental responses is not anywhere near as distinct as it is for bog-standard humans.
If you really need more evidence regarding that last point, just look at 'our' guest bedroom.

Now, that's not to say that she doesn't have ulterior motives - she probably does, they just align well with the pre-existing mental state.
>>
>>2773909
in addition to
>>2773943
I suspect 'conquer Hell' was one of Ellie's earliest goals, after 'get away from people I could hurt' and 'survive'. She's never had a reason to change it, and the demonic warping gelled well with it. I suspect it may have been originally intended as something along the lines of removing demons at the source, to prevent the need for magical girls, or removing the rats source of energy, but its been muddied and lost over time.
>>
File: They Say This Is Rob.jpg (132 KB, 709x1001)
132 KB
132 KB JPG
>>2773851
"I thought you ate him?" you ask your sworn brother, "or the two of you gestalted?"

"If I ate him," Rob says, "I'm still digesting. Gestalting takes a while. You ever see Dr. Strangelove?"

Oh. So that's what's going on with his hand. And why it's giving the Nazi salute.

To you.

"I admit," you say, "I'm a bit concerned."

"We're on the bleeding edge of magic," James says, "if you weren't concerned, we're doing something wrong."

"I'll swear your demon to me," you say, "IF you want to admit it's a separate entity from yourself," you say, looking into Rob's eyes.

"At most," the white-haired guy says, "it's a parasite. Or a symbiote. Don't legitimize it like that. I WILL eat it. Gimme a few years, brother."

"Fine," you say, and then look up to address the room, "we have added three brothers! I trust you'll make them welcome."

And you see a few of the magical girls look at James' grizzled mug. A few look at Haru, but they catch Ellie's glare.

"Not like that," you finish.

"I think we can kill anyone Gusion brings in as his honor guard," Mary says.

"And I've never played ref before," Ellie says, "it should be fun."

"He agreed to it!" W yells, bursting in from the back doors, "we got that mountain range as our battlefield - honor guard rules!"

>We need to move those drones into Hell
>Alright, let's go
>Ellie, you sure you can serve as referee?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2773987
>We need to move those drones into Hell
>Ellie, you sure you can serve as referee?
>>
>>2773971
As a side note, I've been wondering how Ellie got corrupted/converted in the first place. Dissolving the Magical Girl contract is only supposed to cut off the MG's payment to the rats, and the rat's distilled energy back to the MGs. How did she find/make a replacement for the rat's distilled energy?

>>2773987
>>Alright, let's go
We've delayed long enough, let's get this done with.
>>
>>2773987
>>Alright, let's go
>>
>>2773987
>We need to move those drones into Hell
>Alright, let's go
>>
>>2773987
>We need to move those drones into Hell
>Ellie, you sure you can serve as referee?
>Alright, let's go
>>
>>2774001
Op explained it. Since the mg stops getting her "fix", she enters in whitdrawal mode and begins consuming everything that could satiate her, which means she will try to consume enough demonic energy until she becomes a demon due to the sheer ammounts she consumed.
>>
There's a voting period, I guess, but I'm going to start writing now. Later write-ins incorporated as they make sense, as usual.

>>2774001
>I've been wondering how Ellie got corrupted/converted in the first place.
Magical girls are like jet fighters - designed to be unstable. And they need the rats' magic to stay even moderately stable. Like getting their 'fix'.

If they don't get that, things turn out badly. "Wiped out a whole city" badly.

>How did she find/make a replacement?
She didn't find a replacement. She just ate demons. With what the rats made her, and a broken limiter, that wasn't too hard.

And you are what you eat, magically.

Something like >>2774078 said.

Ellie 'went out'/'defaulted' in Hell, killing everything that got near her. They were all demons, so who gives a shit? Butler managed to fight the tornado to a standstill, five years after she arrived, and directed her at a decent target (for his purposes). She's gotten better over time, but 'EAT RAPE KILL REPEAT!' is basically how demons operate. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Gi0OEOl84Y
>>
>>2774098
So the butler managed to fight for five years ellie? Or did he fought with her 5 years later after her arrival? Either way, holy shit.
>>
>>2773987
Alright, let's go
>>
>>2774098
>And you are what you eat, magically.
...so in theory, Since ellie should still have her cravings, could Mary could unleash her excess energies into Ellie?
>>
>>2774078
I must have missed that, good to know.
Sounds vaguely like putting kerosene in a diesel engine. it'll kinda run, but not very well, with potentially long term damage.

That does suggest that not only is she corrupted, she's going to get worse over time, thus making her "happy the way she is" statement worthless. This needs to be one of our serious long-term projects; if she doesn't get fixed, we're going to lose her. And she's tied pretty strongly into the yarnball, so everyone will be feeling it if she goes round the bend.

>>2774098
>She didn't find a replacement. She just ate demons.
Sounds like she did find a replacement, it just wasn't a very good one. Without any substitute at all, they go absolutely crazy, then die (or something like), right? That's worth knowing, even though I hope it never becomes relevant.

>>2774117
It's worth asking, but all energy isn't created equal. The stuff the rats provide is a special type. Though I wonder if we could piggyback some of that energy off one of the girls contracts, feed a line to Ellie, or store it somewhere if case of contract cutoff or to get the real Ellie back or a brief moment.
>>
>>2774117
It's possible, because Mary is pure handwavium at this point.
However, I'd expect the rats keyed the energy requirements so that the rats have to process it (uniquely to each contract) before it's useful to (ex-)MGs
Also, at this point, she's spent 10-20 years in Hell at this point - it'd likely take another 10-20 years of not consuming anything but Mary-filtered energy to effect any kind of meaningful change.
And that's even if she'd be willing to do it in the first place - our sister or no, she's a Duke of hell, and I don't think she'd give up her (hard-won) title and independence easily.

TL;DR: It's not that easy. It's never that easy. Though, it could be a part of the solution.
>>
>2774125
>2774135
>That does suggest that not only is she corrupted, she's going to get worse over time, thus making her "happy the way she is" statement worthless. This needs to be one of our serious long-term projects; if she doesn't get fixed, we're going to lose her.
>It's not that easy. It's never that easy. Though, it could be a part of the solution.

So what you've both saying is... We pull a black snake moan and chain Ellie to something she cannot easily break free of or simply pick up to use as a weapon? Because let's face it, she's not really going to go that quietly through that process without putting up a fight. And people going through rehab are not going to be happy fuzzy care bears.
>>
>>2774135
>I'd expect the rats keyed the energy requirements so that the rats have to process it (uniquely to each contract)
Depends on how security conscious the rats are. They could have all sort of crazy protections in place, but such things would be complex to setup and maintain, costing them energy one way or another. Each energy conversion should cost them a little energy in the conversion process, and loss from imperfections in that process.


I suspect they have light concrete protections (unique energy to each MG, etc), and instead rely on the local rat to provide security.

This is all entirely guesswork, in case that wasn't clear.
>>
>>2774135
>Also, at this point, she's spent 10-20 years in Hell at this point - it'd likely take another 10-20 years of not consuming anything but Mary-filtered energy to effect any kind of meaningful change.
Probably, but i'm not sure. Supposing this could work, we might see immediate(relatively speaking) changes because Ellie would be using the correct fuel instead of something that works but not really.

>And that's even if she'd be willing to do it in the first place - our sister or no, she's a Duke of hell, and I don't think she'd give up her (hard-won) title and independence easily.

she won't stop being a duchess. Consider that technically after we win this fight we will become a duke too. These titles seem to be based more on who you kill rather than what you are. And on the independence side, i don't think we might need a new contract; the energy transfer might work in the same way that her influence is into everyone.
>>
>>2774151
Potentially. It depends on what sorts of things we want to try, and how far gone she is at the point.

>>2774166
>energy transfer might work in the same way that her influence is into everyone.
There is all sort of untapped potential in the yarnball, but it's completely new ground, and we've only got a few proper scholarly types, and they've been busy.
I wonder if we could find a proper wizard research group or something to get serious progress on the yarnball done?
>>
File: Obviously Ellie.jpg (611 KB, 999x1249)
611 KB
611 KB JPG
>>2773987
"We need to move those drones into Hell," you say, looking at Kelly and Freebles.

"I'll need a wizard," Freebles says, and then notices people looking at Kelly, "no, a REAL wizard."

The assassin doesn't even bat an eye.

"I'll go," James says, "get me a copy of that map. And I want someone securing the landing site."

"Oh," you say, eyes raking the room, "we're all going. I trust you don't mind us raiding your warehouse, Kelly?"

"That's what it's there for," Kelly says, "to make sure our daughters don't bite it before we do."

"Boss," Rick says, "permission to grab the 'cheer squad'?"

"Granted," you tell him, "but don't port them into my house, please."

He nods, and disappears.

"This is going to work better the closer we all are," Freebles says, "so GROUP HUG! ON ME!"

You're swept into a crush of bodies around the ferret, and feel your spine jerked ahead of your body toward some - and then you're standing in the warehouse.

"I'm never going to get used to that," you say, and get nods from the rest of your crew.

"Any 'real wizards' who can set up a Hell portal," Kelly says, looking around, "let me show you what I need to put through it," and then he stalks off toward the end of the warehouse.

"The rest of you," he yells over his shoulder, "grab anything you want! I recommend the stab vests and kevlar."

"Does that include us?" Butler asks, very innocently, from Ellie's elbow.

"Do you two need it?" you ask.

"Look," Ellie says, swaying her hips in that succubus chic dress, "do you think I'd wear this if I needed armor? Besides, I'm just there as a ref."

"Are you sure you can do that?" you ask, as a gust of hot air blasts in from behind you.

You turn to look, and see people pushing drones, control consoles, crates, and a generator into the Hellish landscape beyond the portal.

"I'll stay out until your duel is over," Ellie says, "no promises after that."

>You should enter separately, make it look legit.
>And what are you planning for afterward?
>What do you think of Haru?
>Excuse me, miss referee, but I've got to have a huddle with my team.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2774161
I was thinking more along the lines of of encryption / checksums 'attached' to the energy stream - a 'handshake' protocol, if you will, between the energy source and the (perhaps metaphorical) magical organ that's part of the transformation. Less of a full conversion, and more of an authentication protocol.
Obviously, this is speculation and it's all up to the QM what's actually going on - just my $0.02.

>>2774166
>she won't stop being a duchess
I was more talking about no longer being a demon and becoming dependent upon transfusions from Mary - something I don't think she'd go for. She went that way once before, and look what it got her.

>>2774179
>all sort of untapped potential in the yarnball
The whole yarnball deal sort-of lends credence to my theory - swearing brotherhood is one (of many) magical equivalents of exchanging encryption keys.
>>
>>2774198
>You should enter separately, make it look legit.
>Excuse me, miss referee, but I've got to have a huddle with my team.

x And what are you planning for afterward?
We already know what she's doing afterward - taking advantage of the power vacuum.
>>
>>2774198
>And what are you planning for afterward?
>You should enter separately, make it look legit.
>Excuse me, miss referee, but I've got to have a huddle with my team.
As tempting as it is to ask her about Haru, I think it will do wonders for our health to not ask this until after the whole "Gunsion Debacle"
>>
>>2774198
>>You should enter separately, make it look legit.
>>And what are you planning for afterward?
I have a sneaking suspicion she's going to jump Gaston after the official proceedings are over. If we don't take the duchy from him, there's going to be a weak duke nearby, just begging to be eaten.
>>
>>2774198
>And what are you planning for afterward?
>You should enter separately, make it look legit.
>Excuse me, miss referee, but I've got to have a huddle with my team.

We really need to know what the hell she will do after the fight.
>>2774205
>becoming dependent upon transfusions from Mary
oh yeah, that.Honestly, i'm just saying whatever pops up in my mind regardless if it would make sense for the characters.
>>
>>2774209
17:07 - 17: 20ish voting period, shorter if things seem unanimous, write ins considered as I'm writing, as usual.

>>2774205
>encryption / checksums 'attached' to the energy stream - a 'handshake' protocol
I think I used alcohol vs. gasoline as an analogy earlier. They both burn, they're both hydrocarbons, they can both power a car, but only one gets you drunk.

Or puts off the shakes. You really don't want the shakes - trust me.

'Alcohol' in this analogy being whatever the rats give the girls.

The checksums/encryption is an interesting idea, though.
>>
>>2774198

>You should enter separately, make it look legit.

>Excuse me, miss referee, but I've got to have a huddle with my team.
>>
>>2774198
>>You should enter separately, make it look legit.
>Excuse me, miss referee, but I've got to have a huddle with my team.
>>
>>2774205
>lines of of encryption / checksums 'attached' to the energy stream
Sure, but you still have to 'encrypt' the stream, and 'decrypt' it at the end, which are both conversions, and thus susceptible to loss in the energy need to encrypt and decrypt, and the imperfection loss.

Unlike data, which can be broken down into discrete chunks (usually bits), and thus can be confidently converted both ways losslessly with the right systems, energy is more... nebulous.

First is the process cost. The energy invested into the conversion. The energy invested into converting crude oil into gas, for instance.
Second is imperfection loss. No conversion from one energy type to another is perfect. The energy lost as heat when gas is burned in a combustion engine, for instance.


Whether any of these costs are significant enough to matter to the rats if a different question entirely, but these potential processes won't be free,
which will cut into the rat's margin.
>>
>>2774284
Or perhaps instead of considering it as crude to gasoline, think of it as an additive process. For example, a two-cycle engine needs oil mixed in the gasoline to function properly. Will the engine work without the oil? Maybe for a limited time, but then it tears itself apart.

>Whether any of these costs are significant enough to matter to the rats if a different question entirely
Exactly, which is where this strays into 'word of QM' territory.
>>
File: Ellie.jpg (134 KB, 704x997)
134 KB
134 KB JPG
>>2774198
"You two should enter separately," you say, looking at Ellie and her butler, "make it look legit."

"I like it," Ellie says, smiling, "devious as a devil."

"You really are her grace's brother," Butler says with a sigh, then looks at Ellie and says, "your grace, I can port us out whenever you wish."

"And what are you planning afterward?" you ask, dividing your stare between your sister and her demonic butler.

"Obviously," Ellie says, smiling at you, "I'm going to kill Gusion, if you don't, and take all his shit. Or we're going to have to fight over anything you take from him."

"I just want him to stay out of my city - no, off of earth," you say, "that's going to be my bet. His legions, his territory in Hell, and his titles - I don't really care."

"Then that makes things easy," Butler says, opening another door into Hell, with a wave of his hand, "your grace?" he asks Ellie, "let's get set up. We need to let Focalor's fuckbags know who they answer to now."

"Well," you say, making a half-bow toward your sister, "miss referee, I need to huddle with my team."

"Kill the superb owl," Ellie says, before walking back into Hell with her butler.

"And break a leg," you hear her say over her shoulder as the damn portal shuts.

You were in theatre before she left, weren't you?

"Are you all outfitted?" you ask, turning back toward your motley crew.

"We've kickstarted our hearts," Mary says, as your eyes glance over a group that looks more like a militia than a magical girl group.

And GOD, does that bulletproof vest show off Liska.

"If you want to turn around now," you say, "I won't blame you. I won't court martial you. I won't send him," you say, jerking your head at Kelly, who's yelling at people shoving crates through a Hell portal, "to get you. We're about to march into Hell, so, uh, honestly, I'd understand if you decided not to do it."

They scream a thousand things at you.

But the upshot is that they'll follow you into Hell itself.

That's what you should have expected, from this group.

"You think we could do something better with our lives?" someone yells, and you can't tell who it is.

"I signed my life away the day I signed up with the rats!" another yells, "might as well burn it on this!"

>I like that spirit - let's go!
>Realize you're leading a bunch of teenagers to their (probable) deaths
>We might all burn our lives on this - let's go!
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2774392
>Realize you're leading a bunch of teenagers(and your only daughter) to their (probable) deaths
>Fucking bury those emotions deeper than the Mariana Trench and soldier on.
>I like that spirit - let's go!
>>
>>2774392
is it time for war flashbacks?
>>
>>2774392
Imagine how mad our sister will be if we end up killing guison instead of her. at this point, anime rules demand it
>>
>>2774417
It's always time for war flashbacks comrade.
>>
>>2774392
>>Realize you're leading a bunch of teenagers to their (probable) deaths
>>We might all burn our lives on this - let's go!

Let's finally do this.


I take a slight relief in the fact that if Harriet in particular dies, she's good for another go around, even if it won't matter anymore from our perspective.
>>
>>2774429
Huh. Then we should try to keep harriet alive, dont you think?
>>
>>2774427
*Fortunate son intensifies*
>>
>>2774462
"Gooks in the wire!"
[M79 Grenade Launcher Intensifies]
>>
>>2774481

[killroy was here intesfies]
>>
>>2774392
Come on you aps, dont you want to live forever
>>
File: It's a Place.jpg (553 KB, 1280x960)
553 KB
553 KB JPG
>>2774392
You're about to be leading a bunch of teenagers to their deaths. Yeah, you might have been one of those teenagers in the desert all those years ago, and your life's on the line, too, but that doesn't make things any better.

Sand filling everything you'd call an orifice. NO, NO NO!

Dead heat beating down on you. FUCK!

Screams.

YOU ARE NOT GOING BACK TO THE DESERT IN YOUR HEAD.

That's probably the reason you only have one kid.

And you're about to plunge a bunch of teenagers into something even worse.

You fight it down, condemning everyone here to Hell itself.

"We might burn all our lives on this altar," you say, raising your fist, "I like that spirit! Let's go!"

And you get a roar of approval, as your little army surges through the hellgate.

"AND WE ARE GOING TO SAVE OUR CITY!" you yell.

You just hope it's accurate, as you stumble into the mountains of Hell. A landscape you've seen a thousand time in your dreams.

"Ten minutes," Kelly says, suddenly at your elbow, "and I'll have the drones in the air. Not sure their engines will take this grit for too long, but we can at least get a last kamikaze strike out of them."

Everyone is dead, and you condemned them to it. Under the unsetting sun of Hell.

The one you've seen too many times in your dreams.

But none of you are dead yet.

You climb the mountain, and come face to face with Gusion, hovering above the plains on six wings,

"MORTAL," he bellows, "I CHALLENGE YOU AGAIN. NAME YOUR WEAPON."

"MY HONOR GUARD," you yell back at him, "AND MY TERMS ARE THAT YOU DO NOT BOTHER MY CITY OR THE EARTH AGAIN!"

"THEN LET'S FUCKING GO!" the fallen angel screams, falling upon you with a flaming sword of shattered friendships.

>Light him up, unless you want to die!
>You're a fallen angel? Try a goddess on for size!
>Suck my cock! And my shotgun!
>Can't we talk this out? I guess not. Anyone who thinks they can, PARRY HIM!
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2774512
>>You're a fallen angel? Try a goddess on for size!
>>
>>2774512
>Can't we talk this out? I guess not. Anyone who thinks they can, PARRY HIS DUMB ASS!
>OH AND GUSION! THE REMAINS OF YOUR KNEE SEND THEIR REGARDS!
>>
>>2774517

THIS
>>
>>2774512
>>Can't we talk this out? I guess not. Anyone who thinks they can, PARRY HIS DUMB ASS!
>>OH AND DUKE PEG-LEG! THE REMAINS OF YOUR KNEE SEND THEIR REGARDS!
>>
>>2774512
>>Light him up, unless you want to die!
>You're a fallen angel? Try a goddess on for size!
I want to see Mary really cut loose.

Is there a difference between demons and fallen angels?
>>
>>2774527
yeah, kind of. Fallen angels(if i recall correctly) tend to just "lose their wings" and their powers get corrupted but their power level stays more or less the same.
>>
>>2774512
>falling upon you with a flaming sword of shattered friendships.
If that's a literal flaming sword, then he's fucking cheating. Again.

Unless somehow his flaming sword is somehow part of his honor guard.
>>
>>2774540
he is not. we didn't ask about his weapon.
>>
>>2774540
If it's a part of his honor guard then it means that it's literally sentient with the minds of countless friendships. Which is oddly the least strangest thing we've witnessed so far in this quest.
>>
>>2774545
The entire reason that the duel was invalid last time was that we named shotguns as weapon of choice and he attacked us with claws, wasn't it?
>>
>>2774553
wasn't it because he dragged us into hell?
>>
>>2774515
18:59 - 19:15ish voting period, and write ins considered until I stop writing.
>>2774527
>Is there a difference between demons and fallen angels?
In Abrahamic religions (and all of the gnostic/hermetic/etc. stuff that derives from them), many demons are fallen angels. They're usually the most hilariously powerful ones.
>>2774540
>he's fucking cheating. Again.
It's more a "me and my gang, you and your gang" thing. Gusion using a flaming sword made of broken friendships is like the MC using his shotgun. Or Sue using the 1k Sword.
Except he's a demon, so he has cooler toys.
>>
>>2774512
>Can't we talk this out? I guess not. Anyone who thinks they can, PARRY HIM!
>Don't forget to dodge with your own fucking legs too.

>>2774572
Ah, so it's not so much just MY HONOR GUARD as MY HONOR GUARD AND ALSO WHATEVER OTHER JUNK I HAPPEN TO HAVE ON ME. I was assuming that only the honor guard were allowed to do battle, as the designated weapons.

Guess that means we won't be able to escape with a 'but you used that thing you weren't allowed to use' excuse this time.
>>
File: Fuck Me, That's Roxanne.jpg (838 KB, 1000x1000)
838 KB
838 KB JPG
>>2774512
"Can't we talk this out?" you ask as more of taunt than a real question.

Gusion screams down from the sky, wings folded, carrying that flaming sword.

"I guess not," you say, then yell, "ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY CAN, PARRY HIS DUMB ASS!"

You really hope you never have to see THAT happen again.

Sue darts in from one side, bracing the Thousand Year Blade, and Roxy comes in from the other, holding up a sword made from shadows.

They catch the duke of Hell's sword in an 'X' with their blades, and you yell "DUKE PEG-LEG! THE REMAINS OF YOUR KNEE SEND THEIR REGARDS!"

Gusion tries forcing his sword down to you, but he can't quite manage it.

So you yell, confident someone will get it, "but wait! There's more! Try a goddess on for size!"

And then you duck and cover behind a rock, as pink arrows stream out of the sky.

"MORTAL," Gusion yells, rearing up, "DO YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME?"

You barely hear Mary's "yes."

[1/2]
>>
>>2774636
"I CAN DESTROY YOU!" the magical girl yells, and you can barely see what happened from behind your rock, and you probably don't want to see, and a very unlucky (and rather spikey) demon from Gusion's honor guard came around the corner, so you lit him up.

'Lit him up' might have been a euphemism. You blew him the fuck apart with your shotgun.

It took several pumps.

"IN YOUR DREAMS!" Gusion yells at Mary, soaring at her, and you realize you're totally out of your depth here.

"THERE IS ONLY ONE DREAM, AND IT'S BEEN RIPPED AT THE SEAM!" you hear Mary yell, and you look up, and suddenly wish you hadn't.

That is a duke of Hell, ripped in half by whatever the hell Mary's firing from her bow, falling down onto the mountains in two pieces, and you and the rest of your forces are cleaning up his honor guard.

It's rough terrain, but the long-range magical girls are killing anything that tries to fly, the short-range ones are destroying anything on the ground, and eventually Kelly gets his drones up, and that seals it.

>Let's get a treaty out of this
>Let's force them to swear fealty
>We're done here
>WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2774677
>>Let's force them to swear fealty
(because i still want to see if we can make guison's property our girl's hunting grounds)
>>
>>2774677
>We're done here
>Let's get a treaty out of this
>Ask Mary later if that was an greater example of her godlike powers.
> See if they sell Dr. Pepper in hell.
Thank goodness we have Mary on our side for now.
>>
>>2774690
wouldn't they be forever on our side? Seems like the brotherhood oath is some deep shit and considering the feebles could have died after unknowingly "lying" to us, i really don't think they can betray us before exploding into some chunky salsa of the meaty kind".
>>
>>2774677
That was fast. After all that buildup, I was expecting more of a fight. Looks like Mary could have done this by herself. Ah well.
There can't be that many fallen angels in total, right? Good job permanently removing one of them. Mary just stomped one of the most powerful types of demonic celestial beings there is like it was nothing.

>We're done here
There's no one to have do the swearing, unless he had an heir for some reason. And sister already wanted this territory. Though it would be nice to hold onto the territory for hunting grounds.
>WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
>HELL
>>
>>2774709
Freebles has a history of being a Yakuza fanboy to the nth degree.
As for the magic yarnball, anything goes. Heck we might end up nullifying the yarnball's effect on someone by accident and thus allow them to betray us or go against us because we voided it on our end and thus end up releasing them from it.
TLDR: I'm not saying you're wrong, it's that anything can go when it comes to the Yarnball.
>>
That might have been anticlimactic, but the MC has some people on his side that are actually over 9000 on the goddamn scouter.
>>2774709
>freebles could have died after unknowingly "lying" to us
That's got a lot more to do with the way he conceptualizes it. He's thinking in Movie Yakuza terms.
Obviously, if somebody really wants out, they just have to kill the MC. If they can get past all the people that don't want him dead.
>>2774719
Yeah, that was anticlimactic as Hell, but it seemed to fit. The MC has a bunch of very powerful folks with him, and they could have taken Gusion in the first fight, if he's let them. After a month of fighting demons on a daily basis, they've all leveled up a bit.
>>
>>2774761
>Obviously, if somebody really wants out, they just have to kill the MC. If they can get past all the people that don't want him dead.

Lets be honest. its not that hard to accomplish.
>>
>>2774761
>over 9000

>Retro memes

my nigger.
>>
>>2774771
Yeah since all it takes is for that dude is to not show any real intent on murdering us and wanting to talk to us in private.
>>
>>2774797
Or an mg nuking the house
>>
>>2774808
Eh, I'll bet that our group has some form of magical detection system in place. So the MG might be caught out before she can get into proper deployment range for her to launch her Magical Davy Crockett into our humble abode.
>>
File: Ellie.jpg (343 KB, 811x1080)
343 KB
343 KB JPG
>>2774677
"We're done here," you say, and you swing your shotgun like you're slinging blood off a sword.

"I don't think we are," Ellie says, alighting next to you, "your young goddess just took a dukedom by conquest. And I want it."

"Fuck," you mutter, "can you guys please settle this with something nonviolent?"

"I'm going to duel her," Ellie says, a red light in her eyes, "unless she gives it up to me."

>Maty, please give it up
>Fine, you fuckers fight for it
>Could you guys play chess for it? Or poker?
>I'm not sure I'm down with this 'Empress of Hell' schtick, even if you are my sister.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2774817
>>I'm not sure I'm down with this 'Empress of Hell' schtick, even if you are my sister.
>>
>>2774817
When did Ellie walk into hell, again?
I really wanna set 'play deathmatch Doom' as the condition, just because it's really fucking thematically appropriate. Just not sure if it's a thing that Ellie'd even know about.
I'm sure the drone control computers can run Doom. Hell, a chainsaw can run Doom.
Eh, fuckit.
>Beat her in a Doom (1, not '16) deathmatch, and it's yours (Mary approving, of course).
>>
>>2774817
>>I'm not sure I'm down with this 'Empress of Hell' schtick, even if you are my sister.

No dueling. We were just in a 'duel', where the loser got torn in half. No one would win this fight.
>>
>>2774817
>I'm not sure I'm down with this 'Empress of Hell' schtick, even if you are my sister.
>Beat her in a Doom (1, not '16) deathmatch, and it's yours (Mary approving, of course).

We're only delaying the inevitable concerning our sister. Sooner or later we're eventually going to come to a disagreement that's gonna end with her thinking that she's going to have to murder one of our people and won't take no for an answer.
If it does happen it's not going to be a surprise to me since she's been a demonic crack addict for a long ass time
>>
>>2774817
>I'm not sure I'm down with this 'Empress of Hell' schtick, even if you are my sister.
BUT
>>WRITE IN
It's mary's dukedom. If you really want it, ask her.
>>
>>2774817
>>I'm not sure I'm down with this 'Empress of Hell' schtick, even if you are my sister.
>Beat her in a Doom (1, not '16) deathmatch, and it's yours (Mary approving, of course).
i'd have suggested beer pong, but this is a lot better
>>
>>2774840
>>2774858
Heck supporting
>>
>>2774840
yeah. considering sue with the 1k blade could sandstill her, and we in theory can remove the limiters of the rest of the girls, this will end up really poorly for our sister.
>>
>>2774845
While amusing, when DOOM came out video games were still very much nerd games. Sister won't likely know or care (she's been out of cultural touch for a while) anything about it.

And DOOM is old enough, and Mary is young enough, she won't have played it either.
>>
>>2774878
wouldn't that be the idea? we could easily beat her on that game.
>>
>>2774886
We'd have 2 incompetents playing against each other. And sister likely won't have any computer experience, nevermind video games. She invaded some 30 years ago, which put it in the late 80's; PCs were only just becoming a thing.

Mary should at least be familiar enough with computers to pick up the idea sooner, even if she's never played an FPS. Though it might still take a while.
>>
>>2774886
Technically, the idea is that Ellie beats Mary, to get a non-lethal (but still trial-by-combat) handover. Trial by combat appeases various demonic sensibilities involved, and non-lethal appeases ours.

>>2774878
>Sister won't likely know or care (she's been out of cultural touch for a while) anything about it.
There was a bit of fluff about how the MC and Ellie used to sit around and play video games - might have been a write-in rather than word of QM, but I'm calling it under rule of 'close enough'.
Besides, even if she walked into hell 20 years ago, Doom was out for 1-2 years by then. Plenty of time.
>>
>>2774896
>30 years
I could have sworn it was less. Oh well.
Anybody got an old NES sitting around?
>>
>>2774817
>Could you guys play chess for it? Or poker?
>I'm not sure I'm down with this 'Empress of Hell' schtick, even if you are my sister.
>>
>I'm not sure I'm down with this 'Empress of Hell' schtick, even if you are my sister.
>Beat her in a Doom (1, not '16) deathmatch, and it's yours (Mary approving, of course).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thEbQkcjUWk
>>
>>2774897
>There was a bit of fluff about how the MC and Ellie used to sit around and play video games
That removes the 'video games are for nerds', but I suspect they'd have played on consoles, not computers.

>>2774899
I'm not sure on the years either. 20 years would have been the late 90's, but they lived on a farm; they wouldn't have had any fancy technology, and certainly no internet or LAN.
>>
>>2774896
Then we discover mary is a fucking huge DOOM nerd.
>>2774897
>Technically, the idea is that Ellie beats Mary, to get a non-lethal (but still trial-by-combat) handover.
But would Mary allow that? we don't really want the dukedom because we are concerned about being neutral, but mary benefits A LOT from having demons at her command. She and her crew literally would never have to go "hungry" and default for starters and unlike us, she has the firepower to keep her claim hers.
>>
>>2774905
>But would Mary allow that?
This is my concern; we could force her to give it up if we pressed her, but do we want to? Mary could get some use out of it, and are we really ok with Sister's takeover of Hell?
>>
>>2774905
>>2774909
(IIRC) We discussed the handover at the planning meeting. If Mary had an issue with it, she would have said something. This has been the plan all along.
>>
>>2774915
Or, maybe not. Kinda got lost with the whole 'screaming foxes yelling about something we have no clue about' bit.
>>
>>2774915
It wasn't the plan for Mary to get the title. We would have had it, but wouldn't want it, so pasing it off to Sister made sense.
>>
>>2774915
yeah, but the plan changed. we never said what would happen if one of the girls got the dukedom, only what would we do if we got it.

>>2774909
>and are we really ok with Sister's takeover of Hell?
We really aren't because we know that Ellie will come to earth and cause the apocalypse after capturing all of hell. We also know that in some universes Mary tends to "snap" (i don't remember correctly), so her own place in hell could help her unleash her power without much problems.

The only real option i see right now, is that mary says no, ellie tries to fight her, she ends up curbstomped by all of us and swears loyalty or whatever.
>>
I think I'm out for a bit. Hopefully not for the night, but who knows.

Keep voting and writing in, that's the fun part!

I'm hoping to be back in an hour or so.

Did you think a curbstomp fight was going to get the MC what he really wanted? Of course it would just generate more complications!
Although it might have been best that Mary got the kill. Some of the other girls might have just broken contract and decided to become Hell Nobility.
Actually, Rob, Haru, or James scoring the kill could have been Worst Case Scenario in flashing lights. Maybe, maybe not. We'll never know.
>>2774878
>(she's been out of cultural touch for a while)
I think she referenced the OG Ghostbusters earlier, and apparently cultural exchange is something summoners offer up to demons, based on W's comments about offering Monty Python box sets.
>>
File: Well he wasn't lying..jpg (72 KB, 378x750)
72 KB
72 KB JPG
>>2774955
So what does that make the Drakengard series in the eyes of actual demons?
>>
>>2774955
oh shit, imagine if sue had the kill. She would inmediatly fly to edo to take it by sunrise.

Its better for you to rest up and leave us chat and conspire until the morning.
>>
>>2774927
>It wasn't the plan for Mary to get the title.
That's what I just said. Sorry (or not, I'm not Canadian) for the confusion.

>>2774936
> only what would we do if we got it
The girls /are/ subordinate to us to some degree, so there's not much of a case there. 'We' in this case is the MC, both MG crews, and the handful of sworn wizards. Unless they break ties and go it alone (see Haiku's post), our word is still at least nominally binding.

>Ellie will come to earth and cause the apocalypse
That's not guaranteed. Hell, us getting back into contact with her is probably a really big factor on the 'not gonna happen' side.
>>
>>2774955
After that display, none of those other 'got the kills' are alarming. As long as Mary is on our side, we have the force to enforce our will.

As a sidenote, we should check up on Mary more often. she seem to be doing fine, but if she goes screwy, we're screwed. A fallen angel. in half. Like butter. Christ.
>>
>>2774972
>The girls /are/ subordinate to us to some degree, so there's not much of a case there.
Yeah, but not really? We really haven't forced them to do something they don't like or disagree with. Doing it will probably break the trust they have in us.


>Hell, us getting back into contact with her is probably a really big factor on the 'not gonna happen' side.
In the dinner she still wanted to do it, tough. She probably will stop after we get rid of her bad influences and her butler, but its still in the air.

>>2774980
Yeah, we need to keep close contact with her, make her feel less alone and like if she was a normal teenager.
>>
>>2773765
>Tell them all why this is a terrible idea (and relent when they give their reasons)
Weaseling out of it means trying to sever ties of the soul to everyone else. That's basically not happening.
>>
>>2774817
>Mary, please give it up
>I'm not sure I'm down with this 'Empress of Hell' schtick, even if you are my sister.
"I mean, so long as you don't take the conquest topside, I'm not going to complain, but I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around the 'why' of it all."
>>
>>2775019
I hate to break it to ya mate, but that was 7 hours ago. Good to have you back, though.
>>
>>2774972
That, and assuming we swear in enough folks to mitigate the radiator effect as much as possible, and under the assumption we can convince her to visit often enough, if not outright stay topside, she should regain enough of her sanity to maybe second-guess her "Conquer ALL the realms" plans, if not abandon them altogether, or at least settle for JUST hell.
>>
>>2775095
>maybe second-guess her "Conquer ALL the realms" plans, if not abandon them altogether, or at least settle for JUST hell.
We'd need to know what her end goal with the conquering is. As mentioned here
>>2773971
there's several reason she might be doing this, but we don't actually know.
>>
>>2774817
I vote for >>2774835 because I think it would be funny.
>>2775074
I realised this when sending the vote loaded everything else. whoops.
>>
>>2774817
Mary, you got any favorite board games,video games, or hobbies that don't cause severe injuries? This sounds like it's time to set a family game night.
>>
>>2774817
Offer to name Ellie as Regent, so she can keep her conquest on the DL while we draw the attention.
>>
>>2775095
What's so wrong with conquering the realms though, really.
>>
>>2775233
Because we live in one of them for one, and according to Harriet, that usually leads to the end of the world, whenever Ellie shows up in one of her loops. How the fuck have you not grasped this yet?

Ellie conquering hell and our world is a VERY FUCKING BAD THING.

That, and it reeks of an impending power trip; the MC's whole thing is that he's an ordinary guy thrust into extraordinary circumstances, and wants to regain some sense of normalcy by saving his daughter and her friends from the shit deal those rats gave them.

Him advocating for and supporting his HIGHLY UNSTABLE SISTER WHO IS A DUCHESS OF HELL IN HER CONQUEST OF HELL AND POSSIBLY BEYOND basically goes completely against the man's character, and such fucked up decisions are clearly being represented as Ellie's demonic energy influencing him, which is a BAD THING.
>>
>>2775292
This^
And most importantly, the biggest part of it all is her being unstable. It's never went well for anyone under the rule of mad man or mad woman regardless of who they are.
>>
>>2775292
I agree, but keep the personal attacks to a minimum, yeah? They weaken, not strengthen, your case.
>>
>>2775292
It leads to the end of Harriet. Most are comfortable with calling the world being ruled by demons an apocalypse but she doesn't actually live long enough to say the world ends afterwards.
>>
Ok, I'm back.

Gotta catch up with the thread, and not put any terrible comments on posts...

Ah, FUCK IT.

>>2774927
>It wasn't the plan for Mary to get the title
It wasn't the plan for anyone to get it. I think the MC thought he'd beat Gusion and the duke's honour guard without anyone (important) dying.
>>2774964
I'm biased as fuck. I love Yoko Taro's work. I'm utterly disqualified from answering this question. There are probably some busted PS3 controllers in Hell.
>>2774965
>take Edo by sunrise
Assuming Ellie didn't murder her. Or take her into her army. And if Sue cut her contract - well, Ellie knew what she was doing when she did it, and she could barely form a coherent sentence five years later, according to Butler, if you trust him. And that's one thing he has no reason to lie about
>>
>>2775292
A) You're a cunt.

B) We're already planning on killing at least ine Godlike being, who is themselves responsible partly for keeping the Demons at bay and someone is going to have to step into that role.

C) Like you managed to figure out all on your own like babbies first deduction, MC is a normal dude who wants to stay that way, so he's not up for taking the role.

D) Ellie is a demon, and all we can do is make her a not-crazy demon. Luckily, we're already on that which also means everything is being changed this time around and it is ignorant to presume that it's the same Ellie now as the one in the other futures.

A better argument by far would be to discuss what "taking over the world" would look like. Because honestly, we're already painted into this corner. Something something Game of Thrones means win or die.

Besides, that's also a long term problem.

I notice that people in this quest are getting very defensive of their personal headcanon extrapolations and act like that's the only possible conceivable outcome and that any deviation is ridiculous.

Do you not remember how this quest started?

You need to dial down your actual autism.
>>
>>2775483
>I notice that people in this quest are getting very defensive of their personal headcanon extrapolations and act like that's the only possible conceivable outcome and that any deviation is ridiculous.
To be honest it's to be expected when we're working with the bare minimum of information and not much else

>>2775443
>.There are probably some busted PS3 controllers in Hell.
To the Demon Summoners that gave them copies of Drakengard 3, I salute them for their efforts.
>>
File: Awfully Ellie.jpg (503 KB, 929x651)
503 KB
503 KB JPG
>>2774817
"I'm not sure I'm down with this 'Empress of Hell' schtick," you say, "even if you are my sister."

"I'm not sure I fucking care," Ellie says, staring you down, "in fact, I'm absolutely sure I don't."

"Bet it on a DOOM match?" you ask.

"Stand aside," she tells you, shoving you at some broken masonry, an awful expression on her face, "and take cover. Goddesses are about to throw down. HEY MARY!"

"You want Gusion's coronet?" Mary asks, from high in the air, twirling a crown around her little finger.

Oh no, no, NO, NO!

"Come and fuckin' get it," the magical girl says, grinning and beckoning with one hand, "let's go!"

This isn't happening. This needs to not happen.

And you realize you're probably the least powerful person that walked into Hell today.

Well, besides the doleful choir of dead souls groaning in agony somewhere over the horizon.

You're the least powerful person who walked into Hell under his own power today.

Through a portal. The suicides don't count.

"Oh," Ellie says, but before she can finish it...

>You tackle her into a hug. Mary won't kill you, right?
>This was going to happen eventually. One of them is going to die. And you're going to have to watch.
>Haru, I fucking dare you to interrupt this!
>Mary, please calm it the fuck down. We can talk this out!
>CAN SOMEONE HERE HAVE AN OUNCE OF SANITY, PLEASE?
>WRITE IN
>>
>CAN SOMEONE HERE HAVE AN OUNCE OF SANITY, PLEASE?
>>
>>2775511
>CAN SOMEONE HERE HAVE AN OUNCE OF SANITY, PLEASE?
>>
>>2775511

>CAN SOMEONE HERE HAVE AN OUNCE OF SANITY, PLEASE?
>You tackle her into a hug. Mary won't kill you, right?


i got a question, Isn't Mary sworn to us? Therefore WE own her stuff?
>>
The DOOM match was a great idea, but considering who wants to take it to the mat here, I don't think either of them would go for it.

Which is really too bad.
>>2775515
00:43 - 01:05ish voting period. Here we go.
>>2775501
>working with the bare minimum of information and not much else
Sorry about that. I blame the 3000-character limit. I'm also not the greatest writer.
>>2775483
>we're already painted into this corner
I have painted myself so far into this corner the only way out for the plot is through the fucking wall.
>>2775522
>Isn't Mary sworn to us? Therefore WE own her stuff?
If the MC wanted to press the issue, maybe. I doubt this is the best time to press that.
>>
>>2775511
> Put a gun to our own head

Haha! SEE HOW MUCH THEY LIKE THAT! The one Hostage they can't ignore!
>>
>>2775511
"CAN SOMEONE HERE," you scream, "PLEASE HAVE AN OUNCE OF SANITY?"

Oh, you're in Hell, you remember. Sanity's not exactly a requirement for entrance.

Ellie looks at you, slightly shocked.

Alright, you did not expect Sue to be the one tackling Mary out of the sky. Or expect Rachel and Myrna to pile on, as the meteor of magical girls spirals toward the surface of Hell.

"I'm not sure what you expected," you tell you sister, "challenging Mary like that."

"I didn't expect half her team to drag her out of the sky!" Ellie yells, "on your fucking orders! I wanted a damn fight!"

"Maybe you'll get one," you say, "but not like that. Someone was going to die. I've seen one fight like that in the past twenty-four hours, and I don't want to see another."

"You know," your sister says, "that happens. Forget it," she continues, walking away from you, "and I don't think I could fight her without someone dying."

Her back looks too much like it did the day she walked into Hell.

"I do want Gusion's title," she says, over her shoulder, "and the blue-haired girl."

>We'll leave his coronet here.
>I think Sue's into guys. Tough luck.
>Ok, we have got to talk about this 'conquering Hell, and maybe earth afterward' shit
>Fine, try pulling a recruitment drive on my people. Good luck.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2775556
We're family. Blood is thicker than water, her being pumped full of demon jizz a and shit isn't changing that.

We are allies with the strongest blood tie there is, can't she understand that there is no need to kill or fight her own for something she doesn't need to possess?

From now on Gusion's realm is ruled by committee, not a sole dictator
>>
I'm out for the night/morning. Sorry things got interrupted partway through.

Next runtime on the twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

I think "CAN SOMEONE HERE PLEASE HAVE AN OUNCE OF SANITY?" was probably the best option there. Other than maybe hugs. Hugs are usually the best option. If for no other reason than it's hard to kill the MC if he's hugging you.
>>2775501
>To the Demon Summoners that gave them copies of Drakengard 3, I salute them for their efforts.
The demons probably enjoyed it utterly unironically, and loved Zero. I might be projecting.
>>
>>2775556
>You are not taking the blue haired girl from anybody Sis.
>I don't care about your conquest of hell and IF and only IF she is willing to give it up you could possibly have it, but there will be no forcing or anything. You act like they or I have some fucking plan, hell is really getting too you sometimes.
>>
>>2775556
I'm repeating the Regent option.

It gives Ellie some cover, whereas letting her take it makes the whole duel look as fucky as it was.

Does Ellie want the power, or the title itself?

As well, what does Mary plan on doing with the title? Is she thinking of walking into Hell herself? Is she ready to take on the responsibility of truly ruling? Because if so, it's not likely she can remain our sworn brother because rulers have responsibility.
>>
>>2775556
>Hug her. "Still not letting you go."
>Let's go back home and settle this down peacefully.
>>
>>2775556
>>I think Sue's into guys. Tough luck
>>
>>2775556
>>2775612
Supporting

Also
>I think Sue's into guys. Tough luck
If push comes to shove, like little-bro cuteness/dadliness can't overcome it. Just leave the crown here, but walk away (with sue).
>>
>>2775556
>I think Sue's into guys. Tough luck.
>Ok, we have got to talk about this 'conquering Hell, and maybe earth afterward' shit
>I don't care about your conquest of hell and IF and only IF she is willing to give it up you could possibly have it, but there will be no forcing or anything. You act like they or I have some fucking plan, hell is really getting too you sometimes.
>>
>>2775568
>>2771787
I have a couple of questions about the MG limiters: do they HAVE to be broken with the girl's own power or can they get a boost from elsewhere? Once they are broken do they stay broken or need the OVERWHELMING POWER to keep them open?
>>
>>2775763
seems like freebles can remove the limiters on his own will.
>>
>>2775556
>WRITE IN
channel inner Drill Sergeant, chew her out.
>>
>>2775821
OH SHIT. i love this option.
>Navy seal copypasta intensifies
>>
>>2775821
>show off you dominate side
It's like you want her to try to bone us even more.


>We'll leave his coronet here.
She forfeits it under the "I'm her boss and I say so" clause.
>>
>>2775826
Ellie wants to bone literally anything that stands on two legs so that doesn't bother me. Besides Liska will 174% shut her down if she tries anything of the sort.
>>
>>2775831
Liska already said she's up for some fun with sis.
>>
>>2775832
Well lets just try the DS thing and see what happens
>whatcouldpossiblygowrong.jpg
>>
>>2775826
>It's like you want her to try to bone us even more.
we have a crew of potential maries AND mary. she literally has nothing on us.

>>2775831
>Ellie wants to bone literally anything that might look sexual in the slightest.
Fixed that for you.
>>
>>2775839
I meant bone is in engage in lewd activities. Not sure the girls will stop that.

>>2775834
>highimpactsexualviolence.jpg
>>
File: Spoiler Image (27 KB, 338x460)
27 KB
27 KB JPG
>>2775843
More like
>>
>>2775843
>Not sure the girls will stop that.
>"DAAAAAD!!!! My aunt is using my room for her 'activities' again!!!!
>>
>>2775848
considering how she and haru left the room...no.
>>
>>2775850
Think about it from her or Haru's perspectice senpai
>>
>>2775849
And the Melon gets roped into it.

And Haru for one big ol' family orgy.
>>
>>2775858
ahhh, the classic family orgy. Fun times.
>DAAAAAD!!! HEEELP----*hgfhadhdahgmghggm*

>>2775852
its still high impact sexual violence. They wrecked the room and drew blood.
>>
>>2775556
>>I think Sue's into guys. Tough luck.
>You are not taking the blue haired girl from anybody Sis.
That fact that she even thinks we could 'give' Sue to her (even if we wanted to) speaks volumes.

Her blood is clearly still up, but next time she stays around long enough for the radiator to cool her down, we should talk about the 'conquering Hell, and maybe earth afterward' thing.
>>
i feel like she forgot who the older sibling is
we might have to beat some sense into her
>>
>>2775913
weeeeelllll....isn't she the older one?

Either way, this will be fun.
>>
>>2775556
>WRITE IN

Offer to play her Doom for it yourself.
>>
On an unrelated note, i know we want to stay as the normal dad and the sane one of the group, but if there is something these past events have shown us is that we need to step up our game. Now, i'm not saying we should become wizards or anything of the sort, but learning a few defensive spells and healing magic will do wonders for the group and our continuous survival.
>>
>>2775556
>Last I checked I don't really give a fuck about what you want. Because every time you want something it's usually the worst thing for you and whoever else gets involved. You wanted to be a hero and ended up a magical girl, you wanted to try and protect me by going to hell yet here I am anyway. So no you aren't getting what you want. But if you'll take your head out of your ass for 5 seconds I'd give you something you need. A family.
>>
>>2775964
i think we might want to rephrase that. I have the feeling that it will break her her weird dark heat hand have the opposite effect and shutting us out.
>>
>>2775960
I think we could start drawing power from the "yarnball" to cast, making up for our own lack of magic by being hooked up to the magical equivalent of Chernobyl. We just need our wizards to teach us how to channel it.

>>2775973
yeah it's a little too antagonistic. It'll just earn us a sit down and shut up from her.
>>
>>2775981
I've always been wondering about the effects of the Yarnball in particular and how everyone in it can draw upon it.
>>
>>2775995
In theory we could do all sort of cool stuff with it, but it's not called the yarnball for nothing. The professional wizards can hardly make heads or tails of it at the moment, there's no way we're going to be able deliberately draw anything from it.
>>
>>2776002
well, we are drawing some sort of jojo-esque menacing aura from it, so its something, i guess.
>>
>>2775973
Honestly at this point I don't really care. The MC has been doing his damnedest but like everyone else in his life they would rather just fight and die. How long do you keep the kid gloves on when it's not working and there will be a fight regardless?
>>
>>2776002
There's gotta be some kind of basic enhancement type shit we can do, the kind of magic that's channeled by instinct or the subconscious, or maybe intense focus like martial arts chi. We may not be able to form circle or use chants but that power sure as hell can be used as a bludgeon.

Only reason the wizards haven't told us is because they're afraid of what might happen.
>>
>>2776018
We can't forget that we, as an individual, are a bone stock mortal human. We've got an enchanted shotgun, and we're getting a little something from the yarnball, but but if we got jumped every single supernatural we've met could crush us like a bug. Every single supernatural we've met would fight at the drop of a perceived insult. Being diplomatic is vital, much as I wish we could just knock some sense into these nutcases sometimes.

>>2776029
Eh, still not a fan. It would take a lot of work to become proficient in any magic, and we're rather busy managing our little empire.
We do have a magic bludgeon in the supernatural pressure though, so we're not totally without.
>>
>>2776018
>How long do you keep the kid gloves on when it's not working and there will be a fight regardless?
As long as its needed because our sister is a special case.
>>
Oh boy, time to go re-read the thread and figure out how badly I've messed things up this time.

>>2775763
>do they HAVE to be broken with the girl's own power or can they get a boost from elsewhere?
I don't know. Melon's a weird case because her having a secondary source of natural magic allowed her to get around it. This sounds like an idea for a wizarding experiment on the cutting edge of magic. Those ALWAYS end well!
>Once they are broken do they stay broken
Yes.
>>2775766
>freebles can remove the limiters on his own will.
The only way Freebles can remove the limiters is by breaking the contracts / cutting the girls off. Which is a terrible idea.
>>2775594
>what does Mary plan on doing with the title?
That's a really good question.
>>2775981
>I think we could start drawing power from the "yarnball" to cast
>>2776029
>Only reason the wizards haven't told us is because they're afraid of what might happen.
Given that the wizards in the cast include a perpetually drunk guy who's been running around absorbing demons, an assassin whose every anecdote is more horrifyingly violent than the last, a guy who actually sewed half a demon onto another dude as 'field medicine', and a kitsune who's into rather high-impact sexual violence, I don't think fear is a consideration for any of them.

I think W's comment when the MC first brought it up was basically 'you could do that, but magic ruins your life, are you really sure?'
>>
>>2776084
Well if we want to get ultra technical. Magic has already ruined our lives when Ellie first became a magical girl, and we've been dealing with it as each magical event popped up, whether or not we were fully aware of it at the time. At the very least the Yarnball is a magic unique enough to us that we don't have to deal with actual demons for.
>>
>>2776084
Well fuck that, magic's already had its dirty old way with us. Time to put that bitch to work.
>>
>>2775556
Hey so I've just realized, Mary did get the killing blow on the duke, yes, but she did so on our behalf, as one of our named weapons. Why does she still get the duchy? Surely someone operating on our behalf shouldn't just get to killsteal like that.

If she'd been one of our group, but operating independently, it would make sense, but not this "I got the last hit in, so all his stuff is mine".
>>
>>2776185
>but she did so on our behalf, as one of our named weapons
This would be like if we'd used the 1k blade to finish the duke off, and the sword claimed the duchy; it just doesn't make any sense.
>>
>>2776186
>>2776185
because we never stoke a claim on the duchy. the only thing we wanted was for guison to back off. When Mary killed him, she becomes the new duchess because we never had an interest in it, nor we wanted it. Technically is also our duchy, but we never have forced an MG to do something they don't like or want to do.
>>
>>2776185
>>2776186
Which is why I think we can veto her earning of the title. She ain't defecting so she's under our rule as far as what political power she wields.
>>
>>2776198
Mary never made a claim or showed an interest either. It should have fallen to us, then if we refused to claim it, then it could have fallen to her.
>>
>>2776240
So what I'm gathering from your post is that our Sister is going full retard and jumping the gun or just wants an excuse to fight Mary.
>>
>>2776240
Not really. Would you claim that a car bought by mary is ours? Or that a game that she hunted belongs to us?
>>
>>2776266
If she bought/sought it in our name yes.

She was only a part of this duel as our vassal which is why the spoils are ours. If she bought a car in our name it would also be ours.
>>
>>2776266
No? see
>>2776185
>If she'd been one of our group, but operating independently, it would make sense
>>
>>2776274
>>2776275
But again, we didn't want the duchy from the beginning. We literally are moaning for something we don't want and said from the beginning that we wouldn't take
>>
>>2776295
That doesn't matter. It should have fallen into our hands with the death of the duke by our 'weapons', at which point we would do with it was we wanted. I don't even want it, it's a can of worms, but we should have it.
>>
>>2776295
Doesn't matter if we want it or not, it's up in the air right now and according to Hell's internal logic it goes to the victor. On the surface that defaults to Mary but our yarnball bullshit might supersede it as her life and all she is, is ours. We just got to force the issue so our ruling is the one that sticks.

Might leave some implication regarding Mary we might have to deal with later though.Even if she like those implications.
>>
>>2776300
Still we laid off the claim from before the beginning of the fight, and in the fight we didnt say we wanted the duchy. Things would have been different if we han't said so, but here we are. (Personally, lets leave mary with the claim. She'll make good use of it)
>>
File: Totally Ellie.png (1.62 MB, 1500x1833)
1.62 MB
1.62 MB PNG
>>2775556
"I think Sue's into guys," you say, "tough luck, sis." At the very least, making a joke makes this time different.

Well, you're both standing on a mountaintop in Hell. That already makes this time different.

Ellie turns back to look at you, grinning, "I did just want her for my army - the girl fights like a demon. But now that you mention it, she could be some fun..."

"I can be pretty convincing," she finishes, twitching her fingers in an unmistakable motion, "wouldn't be the first time I've gotten someone to switch teams."

Yeah, that's not a rabbit hole you want to go down right now. But if the idea that she thinks you could 'give' someone to her, like trading players on a sports team, was disturbing before, it's turning into something horrifying.

"I can't give anyone to you," you say, "and I won't let you take anyone. Every time you want something, or someone, it's usually the worst thing for everyone involved. I don't think that's gotten any better after your stay here," you finish, waving an arm at the vista of Hell around you.

"What if," Ellie begins, stepping toward you, "she comes willingly? And leave my ex-boyfriends out of this."

Now THAT'S a scary thought. Sue might actually go for it.

Wait, how did the conversation become about the person you don't want to throw into this meat grinder, instead of the little crown you don't even want?

"Or is it because you want her yourself?" Ellie asks, taking another step toward you, "anyone might think you're building yourself a ve~ery nice little harem."

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me?" you say, doing what you hope is a decent impression of your old drill sergeant, "you wanted to be a hero and ended up a magical girl - and that's gone splendidly! You wanted to protect us by going to Hell, and here I am anyway! Hell," you say, stepping forward and hugging her, "I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister."

"But I am your sist-" Ellie begins and starts laughing uncontrollably. You can feel her heaving against you.

"I can give you the one thing no conquering," you say, "no amount of souls and slaves, no crowns, can give you. I can give you a family."

Out of the corner of your eye, you see your ragtag band of magical girls, kitsune, wizards, and other folks in way over their heads walk up onto the mountaintop.

Judging by the way they look, you didn't see the worst of the fighting.

And Butler ports in, as you hear muffled demonic cheers from the plains below. Seems like Rick eventually brought his guys in.

Privacy is dead.

>Why? Why are you doing this?
>I could also give you that crown if you want it.
>We could do some sort of 'regency' deal.
>Just stay silent.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2776347
>"What is in Hell that would make you want to rule it at all?"
>We could do some sort of 'regency' deal.
It's one thing to guess what a person's goal is, it's another thing to say it outloud.
>>
>>2776347
>>Why? Why are you doing this?
Consolidation of power, in Hell or otherwise, rarely works out well for most people involved. But maybe she's got a really, really good reason.

I'll listen, but she's not getting it for now.
>>
>>2776347
>>I could also give you that crown if you want it.
>"What is in Hell that would make you want to rule it at all?"
>>
>>2776347
>>Why? Why are you doing this?
>If you still want the duchy, talk it with mary, but no fighting.
>>
>>2776347
>Why? Why are you doing this?
>>
>>2776347
>"I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister."
>"But I am your sist-"
I think the MC just made the dumbest Full Metal Jacket dad joke in existence.
And maybe also told a demon lord to go fuck herself.
But it seemed to work, and be in the spirit of >>2775821 >>2775824 and >>2775964
>>
>>2776347
>Why? Why are you doing this?
She is too unstable to be controlling too much of anything, and I can almost feel her getting worse now that she's back in Hell. No giving her control of even more power.
>>
>>2776347
>You can have gusions territory if you set up a safe embassy for us to use.
>>
File: Oh Hey, It's Ellie.png (564 KB, 720x1080)
564 KB
564 KB PNG
>>2776347
"Why?" you ask.

"Because," Ellie says, recovering a bit from her laughing fit, "and did you just tell me to go fuck myself in the most roundabout way possible?"

"Maybe," you mutter, looking over he shoulder at some magical girls who are playing goddam monkey-in-the-middle with the physical manifestation of Gusion's dukedom, "what's even here that's worth ruling?"

"It's not about ruling," Ellie tells you, "Butler handles that shit for me. I'm in it for the fighting," she says, grinning up at you, "the conquering, seeing the last look on someone's face when they realize they're dead and I'm better, fucking my way through their concubines and families, basically," she says with a smile, "that good old Genghis Khan quote. What was it again?"

"Are you talking: 'the greatest happiness is to vanquish your enemies," you begin, remembering from your schoolboy days, "to chase them before you, to rob them of their wealth, to see those dear to them bathed in tears, to clasp to your bosom their wives and daughters?'" you ask, holding your sister in your arms.

"Yeah," she says, leaning into you, "that one. Surprised you remembered it."

"I did write an essay about him," you tell her, "it's been a while, though."

"It's been far too long," Ellie says, pressing herself against you, "and I'm more into clasping husbands and sons, honestly. Although they're usually disappointing."

This is heading really south really fast.

But your sister seems to have forgotten about both of the things she said she wanted, although you're beginning to think what she's moving on to is even more dangerous.

"Husbands, huh?" Liska asks, and you turn to look at her. She's got a dangerous look in her eyes.

"Of course I wasn't talking about you!" Ellie says, pushing you away, "although," she says, her eyes raking you and your crew, "yeah, this is pretty good material for a victory orgy. My place?"

>Someone get us out of here
>I would kind of like to see your place
>Stare her down with your best dad glare
>Butler, I don't envy you your job. But it should be mine.
>Goddammit, Hell really is getting to you!
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2776474
>>Stare her down with your best dad glare
>>Butler, I don't envy you your job. But it should be mine.
>Goddammit, Hell really is getting to you!
>>
>>2776474
>Stare her down with your best dad glare
>WRITE IN
what if i told you we plan to take down the Rat god?

>Someone get us out of here
>>
>>2776474
>>Stare her down with your best dad glare
>>Someone get us out of here
>>
>>2776474
>Stare her down with your best dad glare
>CHANNEL THE DISAPPOINTMENT OF ALL FATHERS IN EXISTENCE FOR EVEN UTTERING THOSE WORDS.
>>
>>2776474
>>Stare her down with your best dad glare
>Someone get us out of here
I'd wager that staying in hell any longer than necessary is bad for your health in multiple ways.

If she's in it for the fighting anyway, why she so adamant about wanting the title?
>>
>>2776474
>WRITE IN
>I don’t care if that’s traditional, we’re not doing it
>>
>>2776488
because they are like belt titles (but she doesn't deserves this one because she did nothing) And the butler is obviously manipulating her, otherwise she'd be a random murderhobo and not a duchess.
>>
>>2776474
>Stare her down with your best dad glare
>>
>>2776474
>Stare her down with your best dad glare
>Someone get us out of here, we have a victory non-orgy celebration to start.
>>
>>2776566
we could celebrate in the local pizza place
>>
>>2776474
>>Stare her down with your best dad glare
>Goddammit, Hell really is getting to you!
>Someone get us out of here
>>
>>2775960
I don't remember the specifics but we specifically voted that idea down at a very early point because magic has drawbacks and we don't want to deal with them. If we start going all magical it won't be without cost.
>>
>>2776602
yes, but it doesn't hurt to look around to check if we could use something that could help us and won't fuck us over
>>
>>2776578
I like that. Then we meet someone and just use the girl's T-ball excuse.
HAVE EVERYONE PUT THE WEAPONS BACK FIRST. As much as a militia walking into a pizza place and that cop lady being the one called would make me laugh... actually I could go for that too.
>>
>>2776611
Stop pushing already
You've been shot down for two threads now, give it a rest.

We are playing a tardwrangler, not an action figure. Trying to keep things normal because we want our girl and her friends have a normal life when this is over is the entire fucking point of the quest.

You want us to become an anime protagonist because you've convinced yourself with your headcanon that the MC is going to get killed by an assassin or a traitor or whatever. Haiku isn't going to write something that stupid and end the quest because we can't cast magic missile
>>
>>2776474

>Someone get us out of here
>>
File: Also Very James.png (741 KB, 447x751)
741 KB
741 KB PNG
>>2776474
Ellie might still look like a teenager, and might think like one, but the years have left their mark on you.

And they've given you something terrible in exchange.

You unleash the Dad Glare on your sister.

"I don't care if it's traditional," you say, "we're not doing it," you tell her, and the images in her eyes of goat-headed demons rutting with your girls have got to be optical illusions, right?

"Someone get us out of here," you mutter at the wizards behind you, and they begin doing something, "Hell is really getting to you, Ellie," you tell your sister.

"It got to me a long damn time ago," she says, "and if you think my own power's going to force me to the floor, you have another fuckin' think coming!"

"What if I told you," you say, still staring your sister down, "I plan to kill the Rat God?"

"Then I want his blood running down my throat," Ellie says, with an awful smile, as someone drags you backward through a portal.

And into an absolute tangle of people who've made awful decisions in their lives.

"Everyone make it?" W asks.

"Sound off," Kelly says, and they begin.

"Ok, I get it now," James whispers from beside you, "that's your secret, isn't it? You always leave them wanting more?"

"Christ," you hiss at the wizard, "I am not trying to seduce my sister!"

"You're probably doing a good job anyway," the wizard whispers, as you hear the squads yell their name in turn, and you lever yourself up on an elbow to survey the wreckage.

"Eh," the wizard whispers, "most relationships, even family ones, work on the same principles. And bagging a demoness isn't all it's cracked up to be."

"I think everyone's here," W says, his suit burnt in three places, and blood trickling down his face, as he looks over the people on the floor, "we went into Hell, we killed a duke, we came back, and we're all still alive! HOLY SHIT, WE JUST OUTDID EVERYONE ELSE WHO'S EVER TRIED THIS!" he yells.

"Write your fuckin' paper on it!" someone yells at him from the tangle.

You pick yourself up off the ground, and look around.

"Wait a second," you say, realizing there's one person missing, "where's Haru?"

"Wasn't on my list," Kelly says, "hey, Haru! Sound off!"

Silence.

"We still outdid everyone else who's tried this," W says, "so we lost one guy. He's a wizard. He'll make it back somehow."

"I've actually done that before," James says, "twice. Hurts like a bitch, but you can make it out of Hell if you really want to."

"I'm more worried that he doesn't want to," you say.

>Mary, what the fuck was that?
>Ladies and gentlemen, we have just made history!
>'Pizza place' sounds a lot better than 'orgy' as a celebration. Let's go!
>I don't think, and I hope, that's not the last we see of my sister. But she's still family.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2776660
>Ladies and gentlemen, we have just made history!
>'Pizza place' sounds a lot better than 'orgy' as a celebration. Let's go!
While everyone is piling up into the van(s)
take mary aside and
>Mary, what the fuck was that?
>>
>>2776660
>>I don't think, and I hope, that's not the last we see of my sister. But she's still family.
>>Mary, what the fuck was that?
>>
>>2776660
>>2776668
This
>>
>>2776660
>I don't think, and I hope, that's not the last we see of my sister. But she's still family.
>Ladies and gentlemen, we have just made history!
>Take Mary aside and ask her what was all that about
>>
>>2776660
>call him, maybe he still has some coverage
going for the "you could have said goodbye, dick." and make sure he's with our sis and not lost somewhere dumb
>Mary, what the fuck was that?
>>
>>2776660
>Mary, what the fuck was that?

>'Pizza place' sounds a lot better than 'orgy' as a celebration. Let's go!
>>
>>2776660
>>Ladies and gentlemen, we have just made history!
>>'Pizza place' sounds a lot better than 'orgy' as a celebration. Let's go!
>WRITE IN
>W could you contact my sister? i think haru stayed on her side.
>>
>>2776660
this >>2776668
and also >>2776682
>>
>>2776660
>>I don't think, and I hope, that's not the last we see of my sister. But she's still family.
>Ladies and gentlemen, we have just made history!
>'Pizza place' sounds a lot better than 'orgy' as a celebration. Let's go!
Have Mary ride shotgun again and ask her
>Mary, what the fuck was that?
>>
>>2776660
>'Pizza place' sounds a lot better than 'orgy' as a celebration. Let's go!
>>
>>2776660
Are we really just leaving our sworn broter into hell?
>>
>>2776782
Im sure he can fuck his way out of it
And or we can sum m on him into the pizza party
>>
File: Haru.png (327 KB, 600x600)
327 KB
327 KB PNG
>>2776660
"Ladies and gentlemen," you say, looking over the carpet of people on the warehouse floor, "we have just made history! Or so my least sober wizard tells me!"

Well, that gets you a laugh, as people start picking themselves up, and W smirks at you.

At least he can take a joke.

"Who's got a favorite pizza place?" you yell, and it's like tossing tear gas into a mob.

You turn away and pull your phone out. And dial Haru.

It rolls to voicemail.

"James," you say, looking down at the wizard, "can you get a cell signal into Hell?"

"Usually people just want good luck charms," he says, standing up, "but that sounds like fun. Just large enough to not Faraday the signal to death, hopefully not large enough anything can come through, and I'm guessing you want it close to where we were?"

"Hit it," you tell him, and something glowing floats into the air.

"Fucking foot wavelengths," the wizards mutters, as the hole in space expands, "well, we can kill the lizards if they come through."

You're not going to ask.

Then you redial, and Haru picks up on the first ring.

"Hey," the Kitsune says, "I didn't think I got reception out here."

"You don't," you tell him, "we're doing stupid magic to get a connection. You ok? We tried to bring you back with us, but it didn't work."

And of course he starts in with that barking laugh.

"I'm better than fine," Haru says, "I might be in Hell, but I've got a beautiful tour guide. And it's not like I was worth much back there."

"You could have at least said 'goodbye', dick," you say, and hear a giggle that means you're on speakerphone, "we were worried about you!"

"Haru's with me," Ellie's unmistakable tones cut across the line, "NOBODY else gets to kill him. And I think I'm taking a hiking vacation across Hell."

"You know," your sister continues, "while Butler sorts out Focalor's fuckbags and Gusion's Gobblers. Someone did leave that coronet on the mountain."

Shit. What the hell was Mary doing, anyway?

"Batteries are dying," Haru says.

>My wizards can probably pull you out, if you want.
>You two have fun.
>Well, I hope he's better than the minotaurs, Ellie.
>Haru, uh, good luck. You're going to need it.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2776822
>You two have fun.
>And Haru, if you need help you know where to find me.
Welp he's fucked in more ways than one. Liska we're gonna have to bury more family members!
>>
>>2776822
>You two have fun.
>And Haru, if you need help you know where to find me.
>Call when you're getting married
>>
>>2776822
You two have fun.
>>
>>2776839
secondang
>>
>>2776822
>>Haru, uh, good luck. You're going to need it.
>>
>>2776822
>>You two lovebirds have fun.
>So, Mary, i take you didn't want to be a duchess of hell?
>>
>>2776822
>You two have fun.
>And Haru, if you need help you know where to find me.
>Remember to both come back for dinner at some point.
still no sign of that demoness?
>>
>>2776822
I've got a bit of a bad feeling about allowing Haru's relationship with Ellie to develop. She is going to get worse, not better, and he's either going to have watch her slowly fall apart over time, or if we find some way to fix her, the person he came to know is going to disappear.

It's his decision though.
>>
>>2776911
there is no need to be such a downer. we'll deal with that when we arrive to the problem
>>
>>2776911
Haru's life has been him making dumb decision after another without him really considering all the angles or other possibilities.
So it's not really that big of a deal. At least we and the yarnball of people can be a mountain of stability for him when shit hits the fan.
>>
>>2776822
> Hey Haru, try to help her become her best person, yah?

> Don't make me invade Hell again.

> Hey, is there a way we can have you send extra cunty or difficult to kutright dispose demons our way so we can keep our girls topped up, but avoid a Gusion 2.0?

Personally I like how unrelentingly shitty our sister is.
>>
File: 1511854099477.jpg (88 KB, 605x765)
88 KB
88 KB JPG
>>2776923
Yeah I can't wait till we reach the boiling point and end up having to kill her because she forced our hand for some dumb reasoning on her part.
>>
>>2776923
She is shitty about us because we always walk in in the wrong time.

Like cockblocking his boyfirend, or we trip and accidentaly knocked her first beer, or we kept chasing the dog and ended up chewing our sisters homework. Or we managed to scare her many boyfriends because whenever we come home to put the bull to the pen the bull charges his poor boyfriends.
>>
>>2776956
Anon if i wish i can solve this with a dick but no amount of headpats and sisterly hugs can cure our deranged sister.
>>
>>2776968
Dickings won't solve it either. She's had them all.
>>
>>2776956

I'm surprised other anons didn't get pissed at butler for immediately siccing our sister on Mary. If he had waited for all of 30 seconds we'd have probably given it to her without a thought or just sold it with a planned installment payment of energy from demon sacrifices to pay our quotas. A hell dukedom has got to be enough to make most magical girls retire.
>>
>>2776970
>>2776968
How many dickings has she had with people that legitimately care about her tho. Very different.
>>
>>2777040
That's what happens when the leader isn't interested in being a leader, you get the lower level lacky thinking the're hot shit for being able to get away with telling the "leader" what to do.
Ellie has pretty much proven time and time again that she has no real sense of planning even before she became a demon, and is just living one second to the next on instinct, in this case demon tainted instincts. The only real way to get her to stop making too many bad choices is by having her under our wing where we can mitigate the damage that she might cause AND GET A DAMN PROGRAM IN PLACE SO WE CAN GET DAT SEMEN DEMON JUICES OUT OF HER!
>>
>>2777041
It honestly wouldn't matter because she now has the attention span of a squirrel on uppers, combined with the morality of a politician.
>>
File: Still Mary.jpg (2.25 MB, 2838x2838)
2.25 MB
2.25 MB JPG
>>2776822
"You two lovebirds have fun," you say, "and if you need help-"

And then the line cuts, giving you a truly awful noise in your ear.

"The other phone probably died," James says, and the portal stays there for a couple seconds, and he closes it, stomping on a flaming lizard that just jumped through, "so,uh, what was going on there?"

"He's a seven hundred year old kitsune wizard," you say, "and she's a demon lord. Lady. Duchess ten times over. Whatever the terms are. And my sister."

"Sounds like a fuckin' romcom plot," James tells you, shrugging, "man, I got you a fucking cross-planar cellular connection for FIVE MINUTES!" he yells at the warehouse roof, "I DID IT! I HELD IT! TESLA CAN SUCK MY DICK!"

"I AM AN ELECTRIC GOD!" James yells.

By this point, damn near everyone in the warehouse is staring at him, as sparks fly off him.

"I hope you're not being literal," you mutter at the wizard, "because you're no god. And a lot of people here have seen at least one. And, word to the wise, those are fightin' words for them."

You didn't even need to say that, if the pressure against your back means anything.

You have never seen a man hit his knees that fast.

That was probably Mary.

It definitely wasn't you.

"Thanks for the the conversation," you say, as Madison picks the trenchcoat wizard off the ground, "thanks for helping out with that. Glad I got to talk to them for five minutes. Glad I know what they're doing."

"You are a fucking monster," you might have heard James whisper, but it could have just been the wind.

"Did you guys decide on a pizza place?" you yell at your awful army of magical girls.

You can't deal with the various yells you get from them, and seek out Mary while they argue.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" you ask.

"Baiting someone who could give me a fight on my powerlevel," Mary says, "hell, I didn't actually want the dukedom. I just wanted to fight her."

>Let's all hit whatever pizza place you guys want
>You're all basket cases.
>I think we should have a fistfight, lady.
>Honestly, I'm just glad you don't want to be a demon lord (and pat her pink head)
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2777083
>>You're all basket cases.
>Honestly, I'm just glad you did what you felt it was best for you (and pat her pink head)
>>
>>2777083
>>Honestly, You're all basket cases. (and pat her pink head)
YOU HEAR ME LITTLE GODDESS, WE'RE GONNA HEADPAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY AND CREATION AND YOU WILL TAKE IT LIKE THE ADORABLE LITTLE POWERHOUSE THAT YOU ARE!
>>
>>2777083
> Did you ever think about just asking? Did anything about anyone here ever make anyone think you all aren't constantly "up for a real fight"?

> Not to mention the timing, and the position you put ME in.

> Dick move, Mary. Dick move.
>>
>>2777083
> Did you ever think about just asking? Did anything about anyone here ever make anyone think you all aren't constantly "up for a real fight"?
> Not to mention the timing, and the position you put ME in.
> Dick move, Mary. Dick move.
bur
>Honestly, I'm just glad you don't want to be a demon lord (and pat her pink head)
>>
>>2777083
>Honestly, I'm just glad you don't want to be a demon lord (and pat her pink head)
>God I wish I adopted you all
>realize what you said while *melon angry fox noises intesifies*
>>
>>2777040
>butler for immediately siccing our sister on Mary
I thought that she beat him up the mountain, and whatever she tried there before she arrived was just on her.

Butler didn't show up until after the MC was hugging his sister.

As awful as that demon may be, and as much as he might try to prod people for kicks...
>>
>>2777083
>>You're all basket cases.
and this
>>2777103
>>
>>2777083
>and you think both of you would have made it out alive?
>>
Hey, I need better music. Gimme some youtube links, please,
>>
>>2777161
What genre?

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8sUC-dsW8A
>>
>>2777083
>You're all basket cases (and pat her pink head). You're all lucky I'll still love you all even if you do become demon lords, but I'd prefer if you didn't.

and >>2777103
>>
>>2777161
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldtz53LkMac
It had to be posted.
>>
>>2777161
IMA Robot- Scream
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9AFC4zvMt8

Dead Can Dance - Rakim
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kq59rEVWQNI

Rum Runners - Come Out Ye Black And Tans
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9uRSphAl6w

Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains - whiskey is my kind of lullaby
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaDMYqUbOPU

I especially recommend the last one.
>>
>>2777161
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKNSF_81Mbc
Guess this can help too

>>2777184
Interesting selection Anon.
>>
>>2770968
Keep thinking the subject title is "Fuck my Daughter". Please change name.
>>
>>2777120
That's what I get for speed reading to catch up for once.Could have sworn he'd popped up before then. I guess I'm just still pissed at him trying to threaten us with Ellie attacking earlier and it carried over.
>>
>>2777222
Checked

Change it to Fuck my supernatural family and I became a magical Mafia don
>>
>>2777161
Breakbot - Baby I'm yours
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahdH8eTydWY

The Wookies - Patrick Millah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPJ51eANEYc

Goldfish - if i could find
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwFASC3eCjo

Justice - Pleasure
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snLJbMwUM94

C2C - Happy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvY7Nw1i6Kw
>>
>>2777232
Or maybe it should be changed to reflect what happened before the new thread was created.
>>
>>2777083
Fuck it pizza crawl
>>
>>2777083
"Did you THINK about what what you were asking?" you hiss at her.

"Yeah," Mary says, "one of us was going to bite it," she says, smiling up at you, "her? Me? Who knows?"

"Who cares?" she asks, looking up at you.

"I do!" you say, putting your hand on her head, "god, Ellie's my sister! YOU'RE my sister! Are you just dialed up to "REAL FIGHT" the whole time?"

"The only other setting is 'bare knuckles'," Mary says, "and I still have to hold back for that. Do you understand exactly how," she says, and pauses, "much," she says, "I am holding the fuck back every time I fight? I could have unleashed it all on her! And she might have taken it! And in Hell, who gives a single flying fuck about collateral damage?"

If you thought Mary was sane... Hell, she just wants to unleash herself on someone that can take it.

Being top of the crab bucket sucks.

"Bad timing," you say, "and think about the position you would have put ME in. Besides, I don't want to lose either of you."

"I'm kind of glad you don't actually want to become a demon lord," you say, ruffling her hair.

"Your family gave me an example of how hilariously bad that gets," Mary says, "fuck me if I do it."

>I hope that was metaphorical
>Let's do the bare knuckles thing [1D100]
>I think the other folks have decided on a pizza place.
>Keep it that way
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2777263
>>I hope that was metaphorical
>>
>>2777263
>I hope that was metaphorical
>Because after my sister hit on me, ICK. Just ICK.
>if you're still keyed up after the celebration we can have an actual bare knuckle brawl, k?
>>
>>2777263
>I think the other folks have decided on a pizza place. Better tell me what you want on your pizza so I know what I'm ordering.
>>
>>2777161
The Devil Makes Three - Old Number 7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vedgTokXj04

Hannah Williams & The Affirmations - Late Nights & Heartbreak
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xj4YspDZnY

∆ - Breezeblocks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVeMiVU77wo

George Ezra - Paradise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOwihbur34E

>>2777263
>I think the other folks have decided on a pizza place.
>>
>>2777263
>I think the other folks have decided on a pizza place.

Good grief, the 'need to fight' thing is just constant for these people, isn't it? I wish we'd hung onto the duchy so we could send some of them over there when they get too twitchy without worrying about pissing off another duke.
>>
>>2777263
This weekend has been so weird that I can't even tell if that was metaphorical. Please tell me it was.
>>
>>2777263
>Write-In
>Let's do it tonight then
>>
>>2777263
>I hope that was metaphorical
I think the other folks have decided on a pizza place.
>>
>>2777211
I could load you up on Buttrock if you prefer.

>>2777234
Justice, Nice. I like the Cross album.

Kraddy - Android porn
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q12MD5Au6g

Glitch Mob - We can make the World Stop.
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls-LYas5j8U

Show-Ya - Battle Express
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ODzjiCGvFs

SunnyHill - The Grasshopper Song
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4h1SixKJSKs

Necrophagist - Epitaph
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxsdVbJB-mo

Techy death metaaaaaal
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>2777263
>Let's do the bare knuckles thing [1D100]

Also, pretty sure we can find her someone to go all out on.

Bernie is looking like he might be a problem sooner than later, too.
>>
File: This is also Mary.jpg (1.68 MB, 3500x3500)
1.68 MB
1.68 MB JPG
>>2777263
"This weekend's been so weird," you say, "I can tell if that was metaphorical. I'm hoping it was."

You can't tell what's rippling across the girl's face, and you're usually unnaturally good at that.

"Please tell me it was," you say, as the atmosphere gets heavy.

"Very literal," Mary says, with a wink, "if I walk that path, fuck me. But I don't plan on becoming a demon lord. Demon Lady. Demoness. Maou. Duchess of Hell. Whatever the hell the terminology is!"

You barely manage to keep yourself from laughing. Seems like you aren't the only one having some trouble with magical terms.

"So you don't get it either?" you ask her, and hug the magical girl.

"I think they're just making it up as they go along," Mary says, "fucking wizards."

"I think they managed to decide on a pizza place, too," you tell her, "and we're going to have to get our orders in in if we don't want anchovies and pineapple."

"Karen would do that!" Mary yells, and darts out of your grasp toward the mob.

And then a terrible thought hits you.

Everyone teleported here, right?

So you're all going to have to telepooooooooooOOOOoooooOOOOOooooo~

And you're suddenly standing in front of a [BRAND REDACTED FROM THESE MEMOIRS] pizza place.

You're not sure if it's convenient, or terrifying.

"So," you ask the rather large group, "you guys agreed on a place?"

W and Kelly give you rather pointed looks.

Yeah, you're a dad too, and you know how that sort of thing goes.

Really, pizza sounds really good, after the amount of grilling you've been doing.

>Sit by/talk to [WRITE IN] of your crew
>Sit by Liska and mutter "I think three chicks propositioned me today, and one was my sister"
>ENJOY PIZZA, GOD'S GIFT TO MANKIND
>Some other option
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2777401
>Sit by/talk to [The least talked to members and/or your daughter] of your crew
>ENJOY PIZZA, GOD'S GIFT TO MANKIND
>>
>>2777401
>>Sit by/talk to [The least talked to members and/or your daughter] of your crew
>>ENJOY PIZZA, GOD'S GIFT TO MANKIND
>>
>>2777401
ENJOY PIZZA, GOD'S GIFT TO MANKIND
>>
>>2777401
>>ENJOY PIZZA, GOD'S GIFT TO MANKIND
just ignore the alarmingly high amount of powerful women/girls propositioning you, you'll be happier. Pretend it's all some big joke or something.
>>
>>2777401
>>Sit by/talk to [HARRIET] of your crew
>ENJOY PIZZA, GOD'S GIFT TO MANKIND
>>
>>2777401
>>Sit by Liska and mutter "I think three chicks propositioned me today, and one was my sister"
>>ENJOY PIZZA, GOD'S GIFT TO MANKIND
>>
>>2777401
>ENJOY PIZZA, GOD'S GIFT TO MANKIND
>Some other option

Get an update on what happened to the City while we were gone.

Send Bernie a message that the Gusion problem has been decisively resolved. Ask him if there's a market for beach front property in Hell.
>>
>>2777401
>Sit by/talk to [Karen about Angus] of your crew

Let's get that problem fixed ASAP.

Also this>>2777424, we should keep Bernie in the loop and casually let him know we stomped a Demon Lord. In Hell.
>>
>>2777424
>this

if only for bernies reaction
>>
>>2777417
>alarmingly high amount of powerful women/girls propositioning you
Unless I'm really blinking out, I think it's just Liska (who's married to the MC), Sue, Ellie (who's the MC's sister https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wguC89fC5F0, unstable as Hell, and is probably/hopefully trolling him), and an extremely conditional "if I actually become a demon, fuck me" from Mary, although she's also got a history of fucking around with the MC about that....
>>
>>2777435
Don't forget that Yuki-Onna.
>>
>>2777435
That's a pretty alarming number objectively speaking to a married father, it's hardly a "just"
>>
>>2777435
Karen was also up for it before Angus,
>>
>>2777435
What about the time girl? I thought she might be into us as well.
>>
>>2777438
>Don't forget that Yuki-Onna.
I think she was more just 'interested'. Apparently, she started gunning for Sachio after the MC left Japan.
>>2777448
>That's a pretty alarming number objectively speaking to a married father
Yeah. Too bad I'm the QM, so I can't unpack everyone's reasons and whether they'd really go for it, or if they're just messing around.
>>
>>2777438
I don't think she was actually romantically interested. Melon was just extra defensive/paranoid due to all the lewd her friends are saying about us behind our back. One of them probably is writing the lewdfics.
Knowing what the hell is going on with the dude that was in the middle of the feudal lord getting decapitated and the disarmament of Haru seems like a fairly decent survival tactic. Or she could just be a people person. There's nothing wrong with her just being cheerful and friendly.
>>
>>2777468
Any sort of interest is cause for alarm for a married father. Considering IC on the seriousness and legitimacy of that interest would force us to actually consider boning people other than our wife (even if only as a thought experiment), which is a bad idea for all sort of reasons. Nothing good would come from it.

I'm not sure what the idea behind Mary's conditional was. Proof of her seriousness in not going demon? A punishment for allowing her to demonize? An incentive to demonize her? A mostly-joke about our apparent harem?
Also, I'm pretty sure 'don't stick your dick in the crazy' applies to every supernatural we've met, including our wife.

>>2777469
It was likely a valid, if low-key interest. But there were almost certainly multiple, non-competing motivations working. Supernaturals, especially non-humans are going to usually be tricksy.
>>
>>2777435
>probably/hopefully trolling him
Ahh, such youthful innocence.

>>2775532
>DOOM match was a great idea, but considering who wants to take it to the mat here, I don't think either of them would go for it.
Yeah, that was the other side of the coin. Still, I'm glad it got at least a little traction.

Wew. Think I'm all caught up now.
You running much later tonight, QM?
>>
>>2777481
>>DOOM match
I figure we shelve it for now, and bring it out for a LAN tourney during one of the many sleepovers we've been inadvertently hosting or something.

As an extension, it would be interesting to get the various semi-immortals take on the march of technology. Some of them are older than black powder.
>>
>>2775532
If they had some sort of outlet for their powers, (like misc sports competitions) they'd probably not be so bloodthirsty.
Probably need actual medical personnel of a magical variety too. We have far too many mishaps that rely on "walk it off" as a legitimate medical technique.
Kelly can't be the only one that bothers with modern technology.
>>
File: Obviously Shirley.png (681 KB, 680x960)
681 KB
681 KB PNG
>>2777401
You text Bernie as you walk into the pizza parlor: "Gusion's dead."

"How the hell?" the dragon pings your phone, then "fallout?"

"The police chief signed on with me," you text, "we took the fight into Hell."

Well, that seems to shut him up. You've been conscious less than thirty hours, and you've destabilized things far enough to shut Bernie up?

You slide into a booth at random.

Of course you're surrounded by teenage girls. That seems to be the form your midlife crisis has taken.

"Ok," Harriet says, "Shirley? What you did to that squad of demons was sick," and she reaches for her drink and realizes it's soft.

"I can't drink here, can I?" the local time traveler asks.

"Not legally," Shirley says, passing something under the table, and, yeah, that's a fucking hip flask Harriet's emptying down her throat.

"That's better," Harriet says, slipping the thing back to Shirley.

"I aim to please," the purple-haired 'natural' says, "you guys," she says, her eyes skimming the booth, "weren't too shabby yourselves."

"Yeah," Einz says, "we're good, but I didn't kill five demons at the same time with my fuckin' shadow."

"I got seven," Roxanne says, "and parried a duke of Hell. Beat that."

"She doesn't have to," Myrna says, "I'm an ace. Ten kills, in the air. Five on the ground."

"You know," Harriet says, "that laser's basically cheating."

"Twenty," Shirley says, "on the ground. In the morning I'll be sober, but they'll still be fuckin' dead."

"I got one," you tell the table.

"And you hugged a Duchess of Hell into submission," Shirley says, "we all saw that. How the hell, man?"

>Bonds of family
>Ask your sister
>I'm just awesome
>Not sure myself
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2777508
New Fatherly manga being translated at Trash Scanlations. Peerless Dad.

It's pretty good.
>>
>>2777508
>>WRITE IN

Never underestimate the power of TRUE HUGS

> Bear hug Shirley, then give head pats when she starts to get flustered.
>>
It's been an hour and a half. I think it's HaikuxFloor time...

>>2777508
N-n-ninja'd! What foul sorcery is this?

>Bonds of family
It's the other sister that went MG for lack of familial attention, right?
>>
>>2777508
> My secret magical power, which I will now reveal to you all, is not starting fights for the hell of it.

> One day you, too, might learn to harness this awesome power.
>>
>>2777508
>>Bonds of family
Underneath all the demon crap, she's still my sister.

>heart pupils
Oh, not her too.
>>
>>2777508
Did you think the care bears and all those other cartoons were fictional? Love is the strongest power in the universe!
>>
>>2777513
>>2777514
also this
>>
>>2777512
>>2777513
And this. This is good.
>>
>>2777513
Fucking fantastic, I'll support it!
>>
>>2777513
>>2777517
>>2777518
>>2777519

Are we getting grumpy about the constantly wanting to start fights thing?
>>
>>2777511
23:47 - 24:07ish Voting period.

She's got her own dad. She's W's daughter.

>>2777512
Sorry, I had to summon up "The least talked to members" of the crew. It took a while.

>>2777504
>If they had some sort of outlet for their powers, (like misc sports competitions) they'd probably not be so bloodthirsty.
More like if they weren't indentured footsoldiers in a cataclysmic war, they'd probably not be so bloodthirsty.
>rely on "walk it off" as a legitimate medical technique
'Walk it off' IS a legitimate medical technique for far too many of these people. They can regrow limbs! IN HOURS! It's fucking stupid.
>>
>>2777520
Wah!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbe9WugFL-I
>>
>>2777520
We've never liked that aspect of them, and it seem to have gotten worse lately.

>>2777521
Well, yes, but that's not something we can really do anything about at this point. I was hoping someone would have kept the duchy so they'd have somewhere to blow off some steam, but failing that they need need something more constructive to channel their aggression into if we hope to ever make any headway in stabilizing them.
>>
>>2777521
Considering that there are tons of myths with magical methods of healing that are much more effective than waiting a few hours, it's bottom tier. They're basically like somebody IRL relying on anime bandages for everything when there's a hospital nearby if that metaphor makes sense to you?
>>
>>2777514
>>heart pupils
Shit, I didn't look closely enough at that picture before grabbing it.

Obviously those are purely platonic hearts of friendship. Or mutual admiration of demon killing. Or something.
>>
>>2777526
You're talking a proper wolverine-grade combat medic? I could see the use in that, though injuries that would be serious enough to take a supernatural out of a fight seem to be fairly rare, and anything less would get caught be the natural regeneration.

>>2777528
>purely platonic hearts of friendship
I'm on to you
>>
>>2777529
>injuries that would be serious enough to take a supernatural out of a fight seem to be fairly rare
Most fights in this quest (that didn't end with a demon dead) have ended with an injury that would take a supernatural out of the fight.

Like getting both their arms blown off or something.

>I'm on to you
I fucked it up on the picture. Shirley is about even with Rob and Kelly in terms of "characters least attracted to the MC"
>>
>>2777534
>Shirley is about even with Rob and Kelly in terms of "characters least attracted to the MC"
>No mention of W, James, Freebles and Shelb-
>Wait a minute...
Oh fuck we gotta protect ourselves from SHELBY TOO?!
>>
>>2777536
I mean, Melon IS our kid. There's probably a family resemblance.
>>
>>2777536
Shelby wants to waifu us so he can easily ask melon in hand
>>
>>2777529
Cardiac arrest kills em. They regenerate, but "tis a flesh wound" seems like a more accurate summary of everyone's toughness than making the mistake of believing they can tank stuff like an rpg. You can disembowel them to no long term effect, but anything sufficiently skilled enough to jab at (and know) the right vital organs to hit is gonna be deadly even if they're mundane attacks. They aren't even poison resistant since they can get high and drunk really easily. They just survive the effects of most poisons due to their physiology. Anything that causes heart palpitations or stops the heart is probably going to fuck them up if it doesn't outright kill them like James warned earlier.
>>
>>2777543
I am genuinely concerned/frightened at the possibility.
>>2777547
If he's doing that then I'm voting for putting two in his head. If he's willing to fuck us instead of asking for our blessing like a proper man, then he's no good for our little Melon BAH GAWH!
>>
>>2777549
> Headcanon

Nah. It's a matter of power and will to live.
>>
>>2777551
Shelby is waifuing Melon so he can get closer to our dick.
>>
>>2777555
Bah Gah! Is there anyone we can truly trust with ourselves besides our neighbor Fred?
I'm beginning to understand why Kitsune fucking bolt at being found out by anyone who's mortal.
>>
>>2777554
MC took a mental note that cardiac arrest can kill them. It was specifically pointed out that if you stop thier heart they will die. James specifically said that there are poisons that work on them. Alcohol and other drugs that are technically poisons clearly work on them. Whatever headcanon you are seeing in there takes up much less space than the things the QM has written down himself.
>>
File: A Girl And Her Fish.png (285 KB, 507x541)
285 KB
285 KB PNG
>>2777508
"My secret magical power," you say, and you can see Shirley almost salivating at the thought of gaining some sort of hidden technique.

Fucking wizards.

"I will now reveal it to you," you say, looking around the table.

Harriet's doing her best to hide her laughter. Myrna and Roxy don't quite get what's happening, and Einz is pretty sure someone's being had.

She's not sure who. Yet.

"Are you ready?" you ask, "I'm warning you, merely the name of this technique is the fullness of it."

"Holy shit," you hear Shirley whisper, and Harriet turns away, trying to preserve some sort of dignity.

"It's called 'non incipiens vindex est enim orbis infernum ex eo'," you say, and see the gears turning behind Shirley's eyes.

Yeah, it's bad latin. Gives her something to think about.

"Or," you say, "not starting fights for the hell of it."

Harriet loses the last of her composure, collapsing back into the booth in gales of laughter.

Hopefully it's because the statement itself was hilarious, and not because your Latin is shit. You haven't touched it since high school.

"And powered off of familial bonds," you say, staring at the dumbfounded 'natural', "you've only got one family, you can't pick 'em, and all that. Maybe one day, you too can hearness this awesome power."

You just hope it doesn't happen in a cavern during the aftermath of a horrifying magical ritual.

And where did that thought come from?

Shirley looks like she's been hit in the face with a large white fish.

Why do you think it's a white fish? God might know, but the pizza's here.

The greatest gift of the man upstairs to his creatures.

>Ask the waiter if he's an angel
>Let's eat
>Twenty demons on an open field?
>No, joking aside, your family's probably the greatest thing you're ever going to have. Treasure it.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2777564
>No, joking aside, your family's probably the greatest thing you're ever going to have. Treasure it.
>Let's eat
>>
>>2777564
>Ask the waiter if he's an angel
With our luck, he actually is. Pizza waiter is a pretty good side job compared to needing to announce yourself with 'have no fear'.

>No, joking aside, your family's probably the greatest thing you're ever going to have. Treasure it.
>>
>>2777564
>Ask the waiter if he's an angel, because this Pizza is *heavenly*.
>>
>>2777566
>Pizza waiter is a pretty good side job compared to needing to announce yourself with 'have no fear'.

Actually, if Angels always came with Pizza there wouldn't even be the need to announce "have no fear".
>>
>>2777536
>>No mention of W, James, Freebles and Shelb-
It wasn't an exhaustive list! Actually, some of those guys are FARTHER down the list, or on entirely different axes of the graph.
>>
>>2777564
>No, joking aside, your family's probably the greatest thing you're ever going to have. Treasure it.
And if ever you forget that fact, we won't hesitate to remind you every day until you like it.
>Let's eat
>>
>>2777569
Father or farther?
>>
>>2777571
Farther.
>>
>>2777564
>No, joking aside, your family's probably the greatest thing you're ever going to have. But that's not saying it doesn't take work, and a certain amount of agreeing to disagree
>>
There was a voting period. I think it's over now. Let me count the stuff and start writing,

>>2777570
>every day until you like it.
I think I've done Navy Seal Pasta, Full Metal Jacket, and the Every Day Until You Like It fish image. And that's just today.
This is disgraceful. I should turn in my writer's badge to the Chief.
>>
>>2777564
>No, joking aside, your family's probably the greatest thing you're ever going to have. Treasure it.

>>2777580
Ya get back out there Sunny and bring me those damn endings or else y'all never have another job in this nation!
>>
File: Definitely Shirley.jpg (732 KB, 1200x1600)
732 KB
732 KB JPG
>>2777564
"I think I just got taken for a ride," Shirley says, "and your Latin is awful."

"Fun ride, at least?" you ask, then say, "joking aside, your family's probably the greatest thing you're ever going to have. Unless you start your own. Treasure it."

"My family's three drunks and a sister that hates us all," Shirley says.

"Damn good fighter though," Myrna says, grinning, "she actually almost killed me."

"My dad kills people and supernatural beings for a living," Einz says.

"Closest thing I've got to a family is a crew in a camper," Roxy says, and hugs Myrna.

"I got emancipated," Harriet volunteers.

"And my sister's actually a demon," you say. It feels rather anticlimactic, after all that, "uh, living with a family takes work, a certain amount of agreeing to disagree, and-"

"Sometimes throwing your brother in law into bed with your sister?" Shirley asks with a smirk.

"Not the point I was trying to make," you say, "but yeah. Sometimes it takes doing stupid, crazy things."

>I need a drink, hand me the hip flask
>So what was the fight like on the lower reaches of the mountain?
>How's the pizza?
>We're going to be very lucky if we ever see Haru again
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2777602
>So what was the fight like on the lower reaches of the mountain?

Let the kids brag a little.
>>
>>2777602
>>How's the pizza?
This is a normal dinner talk about normal stuff.
>>
I'm heading out - it's zero-dark-fucky in the morning here.

Write ins for this conversation, no matter what option, are highly appreciated.

Next runtime on the twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Questions, comments, death threats, etc. will be answered or ignored as the whim takes me.

No, I'm not doing a multi-dimensional graph of 'attraction to the MC'.

A relationship diagram for this quest could be hilarious, but it would be damn spiderwebby.

>>2777590
> bring me those damn endings
I feel like any ending this quest could have would leave a lot of things unresolved, just because most of the real problems here aren't something you can kill a demon or beat up a rat god to fix.Even if there wasn't magic involved, this cast would still have problems. The magic and anime trappings just make those problems entertaining. That sounded way more depressing than I meant it to.
>>
>>2777613
Well, life goes on such as it always is. As long as we're able to give our daughter a happy and safe life, with the ability to continue that life well after we are dead and gone, then we have achieved the ending we always looked forward to the most and fought so hard to achieve in the first place.
I believe that I can speak for a fair amount of Anons that have been with us since the start of this quest on that regard.
>>
>>2777602
>Talking about starting a family, i think you have some things to say (looking at Karen)
>>
>>2777615
I’m concerned that we’re going to end up in a situation where we can’t walk away. If you think about it, we’ve accomplished everything we meant to: Freebles is keeping our daughter and her friends alive, there’s no imminent threat from Hell, and other than the ramblings of a drunk magical girl about an apocalypse, we’ve sewn up most of what we can
>>
>>2777508
>Bonds of family
>>
>>2777613
What was your favorite music recommendation?
>>
this was long overdue two threads ago when. Ellie start to visit us but nevertheless enjoy the writefaggotry.

Alternate end: Corrupted future

This is what I imagined if you stick your dick in crazy...also your sister too.

https://pastebin.com/qadNVpgR
>>
>>2777602
>>So what was the fight like on the lower reaches of the mountain?
>>
>>2777602
>>How's the pizza?
A little bit of normalcy goes a long way
>>
>>2777628
>If you think about it, we’ve accomplished everything we meant to.
Not really. we still need to wait for the end of the year to see if there is nothing left that can reset harriet(maybe heaven crashing into earth and Mary snapping, but we don't have signs of those starting).
>>
File: Random Fuck-Victims.png (11 KB, 125x71)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
Hmm. I actually just wrote Haru into Hell yesterday. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. And retroactively makes the MC's line to Sachio earlier about Haru 'eloping' actually accurate.

That should be interesting, given that he's now the only piece of the 'Radiator Effect' on the same plane as Ellie.
It amuses me to picture him in fox form, sitting with the demoness on whatever stupid throne she's got, a la Blofeld and the cat.
Sometimes I wonder if the foxes are actually just engaged in a petty game of one-upmanship to see who can pull the craziest shit and get away with it.

>>2777631
I haven't listened to most of it yet, but I'm glad someone reminded me that JUSTICE exists.

>>2777640
>that fucking pastebin title
I'm scared.
>>
>>2777911
Donnie Dumphy "Cry Tunes"

>https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RFs-Qmc3IcU

Although the Jesse Stewart cover in a back yard is pretty dope.

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEvQOPUHGH8
>>
>>2777911
>It seemed like a good idea at the time
That sums up at least 90% of this quest.
>>
>>2777628
You forgot the Rat God, he can still end Freebles's shit if it feels like it.
>>
I’m beginning to think the “we’re a sealed demon lord” theories from the first few threads are getting more likely.

Not even realizing we’re radiating supernatural power off our mental state? Rob’s hand giving us the nazi salute? The number of times we’ve given absolutely zero fucks when confronted with a supernatural nut job who’s trying to flatten us? The weird set of information/references the MC has (we seem to know what ‘Angelic’ sounds like)?
>>
>>2778577
I'd say we are an archangel or something like that just for thematic reasons. We already have a demon from hell and a natural monster on our group, the only thing missing is one from above
>>
>>2778605
>TFW we are metaltron and got amnesia, Fred AKA Raphael our best bro is just hanging around us.
>>2777911
Why afraid it's not that apocalyptic right?
>>
File: x1.png (124 KB, 640x958)
124 KB
124 KB PNG
>>2778577
>>2778605
We're just a normal dude who is channeling a bunch of other people's power because they trusted us enough to willingly give it.

Even then, it's not so much that we can use it to shoot frikken laser beams, as much as we "radiate" off the AUTHORITY we have and suppress people with our pressure.

Pic related - Us and our power level
>>
>>2778863
on a side note, that girl is Mary.
But for reals. We might play on the "we are a normal dude" part for a while, but eventually we will become a hindrance. I'm not saying we become a full on wizard or something like that; we can still be the retard wrangler or whatever, but a team is as strong as its weakest member, and guess who that is?
>>
File: giphy.gif (1.78 MB, 193x153)
1.78 MB
1.78 MB GIF
>>2778681
> MFW people keep trying to force us being a secretely over powered character, ruining any tension we might have.

> MFW people keep trying to force Fred being an Angel instead of allowing anyone to exist as a normal person.

I need a lot less sleep to fuck with this desire to turn the quest into a full on Isekai fetish bait quest.

I mean, haven't we had this come up enough times to be rejected as not fitting the story?

It's like Congress trying to pass a shitty law, it just keeps coming back again and again.

We haven't done anything that is beyond the realm of human ability. It's just really, really, really unlikely. But that's okay because we have the power of fatherly love letting us endure.

Also a solid dose of parental sobriety that we use to call out bullshit and not get caught up in others pace, except that one time we fucked up and tried to 1v1 a Demon Lord.
>>
File: x1(3).png (126 KB, 640x958)
126 KB
126 KB PNG
>>2778872
> on a side note, that girl is Mary.

Mary is literally all super repressed bite and minimal bark.

She is like, the anti-Carol.

Pic related, our power level.
>>
>>2778880
You'd think that being a lucky enough bastard to (mostly) survive everything would be enough.
>>
File: x1(2).png (153 KB, 640x958)
153 KB
153 KB PNG
>>2778891
>>2778872
Also, us being a hindrance is what you call "conflict", in the narrative sense.

The entire challenge is "how do we resolve going up against massively stronger enemies", which we have so far resolved by gaining allies and underlings via the ancient and secret magic of "Not being an asshole all the time for no reason" in combination with our own unique ability "Parenthood - being willing to literally walk into Hell for ypur child" which allows us to put ourselves on the line for people, engendering loyalty in return.

Have another Tomo-clip showing non-violent conflict resolution that hurts all the same.

It's much more fun than just rolling die, trying to figure out how to maintain our authority and utilize other people's power and resolve conflict without a) using the people who trust us callously b) refusing to use the people who trust us because we don't trust them to not get hurt c) without getting one-shotted because we forgot we're squishy.

Really though, being able and willing to use our own weakness as a weapon is pretty fun too. "You know I could kill you, puny mortal?" "Pfft yeah so what. Heart disease can kill me. Now do you want to make a deal or do you want to wipe me out and then have all my people come gunning for you."

Like, killing someone so squishy is only a good threat if they're scared of death. Otherwise, ironically, we aren't actually enough of a threat directly to make killing us actually beneficial.
>>
>>2778904
Even better, see the last part of >>2778913

Remember, everyone did fine when we were dead for a month.

But within a couple days of coming back, we got everything together and CRUSHED or absorbed the challengers that had appeared in our absence and reunited with our Sister.
>>
>>2778913
>Also, us being a hindrance is what you call "conflict"
Not really. The conflict of the story is that our Kid is a magical girl, that is a BAD thing and we need to get her out of there. What we are doing is being batman; a.k.a. being the "normal" one, although we have nothing of normal considering where we are and what have we done.

>Have another Tomo-clip showing non-violent conflict resolution that hurts all the same.
We can still keep doing the same; having an extra boost won't make us an idiot like the others. What i'm proposing is to get some defensive somethings that can help us survive(like a shield charm, or healing magics). We can't well, we can, but it will eventually get old and tired depend on everyone else forever. From a narrative and playing point it will suck because our orders will default to "sic 'em". We already saw that with guison; mary literally did all the hard job.

>we aren't actually enough of a threat directly to make killing us actually beneficial.
But we are a really juicy target, considering we have the yarn ball in our possession. I think it has been said once or twice in the quest.
>>
File: Fucking retarded.gif (888 KB, 297x168)
888 KB
888 KB GIF
>>2778964
The PLOT is that our kid is a magical girl, the conflict is that we don't actually have any power of our own to change that or fight the dude who ultimately holds her contract.

Freebles would have wasted us originally if it weren't for him honestly being shit at his job and panicking, giving us magic buckshot.

>We can't well, we can, but it will eventually get old and tired

Yeah, that's the goal.

> But we are a really juicy target,

Yes, once again narrative needs conflict. Preferably something that isn't just Bleach "No, I teleport behind YOU" or DBZ last minute power-up bullshit.

We definitely aren't Batman, who was a billionaire with future-tech and trained by the worlds leading martial artists.

We much more low-power, we served in the army as a JAG and were an accountant for years after while raising a kid FFS.

Yeah, we did some crazy shit, but it was either while we were high as fuck on mushrooms or after we got our hands on some Enchanted Buckshot.

We're more like Squirrel Girl than we are Batman.
>>
>>2778964
I'd like to point out as well that we're a juicy target for kidnapping/posession, since our yarn ball is fucky as all get out and magic is not really something predictable at the best of time. Bernie said much earlier that it can't just be taken from us.

And just killing us wouldn't do much besides piss off and motivate the other people in the yarn ball to get revenge. While at the same time getting rid of the person able to speak for this weird confluence of power and negotiate a cease-fire.
>>
>>2778964
>But we are a really juicy target, considering we have the yarn ball in our possession. I think it has been said once or twice in the quest.
Didn't Bernie mention that the killer won't absorb the Yarnball magic and that was like one of the big reasons why he wouldn't kill us because of it?
Unless you're referring to the fact that we're physically the easiest to kill, then in that case the only idea that I can think of off the top of my head is getting our wizards to make basic magic charms disguised as buttons and jewelry and so on that help protect us and act like magic tracking devices tied to the wizards so they know where we are just in case we get kidnapped.
>>
>>2778977
Even then, since we're the one who has the power to negotiate, we're not really the best kidnapping target.

Especially since we can always remind people about that one time we 1v1'd a Demon Lord while fully aware of our respective power levels.

So, you know, we've already died and gone to Hell once. What are they gonna do to top that.
>>
>>2778984
>What are they gonna do to top that.
If there's one thing I've learned is that you should never underestimate a story that is far from being over. I'm sure that there's far crazier shit being pulled that makes us look like a sparkler in comparison. It's just not being focused on for the time being.
>>
>>2778969
>Yeah, that's the goal.
But like you said, there is no conflict there. Either we will try to talk with someone and then if they begin to fight us we will unleash our magical girls on them.

>And just killing us wouldn't do much besides piss off and motivate the other people in the yarn ball to get revenge. While at the same time getting rid of the person able to speak for this weird confluence of power and negotiate a cease-fire.
Im sure there is someone out there that would want that. Many people can benefit from a bunch of magically powered assholes wrecking the place.

>Yes, once again narrative needs conflict. Preferably something that isn't just Bleach "No, I teleport behind YOU" or DBZ last minute power-up bullshit.
Then trust haiku. So far he hasn't done that, and his writing is really solid. I don't think such thing will happen. and the possibility of happening doesn't have to hurt the progression of the character.

>So, you know, we've already died and gone to Hell once. What are they gonna do to top that.
Eat our soul. Unmake us. Convert us into a demon. Fuse our soul to another one in order to make a weird gestalt. Force us into those Bad ending pastebins that have been brought up. There are a lot of things they can do.

>>2778977
>Unless you're referring to the fact that we're physically the easiest to kill, then in that case the only idea that I can think of off the top of my head is getting our wizards to make basic magic charms disguised as buttons and jewelry and so on that help protect us and act like magic tracking devices tied to the wizards so they know where we are just in case we get kidnapped.

This is EXACTLY what i want. Something that makes us harder to kill and at the same time can help the MGs in the fight. Things are gonna get harder and harder, and being the one that calls the shots from a distance will get boring fast.
>>
>>2778995
> This is EXACTLY what i want. Something that makes us harder to kill and at the same time can help the MGs in the fight.

What he suggested does neither of those things?

Also our girls can shoot down frikken sattelites with frikken laser beams. Mary one-shot the dude who wrecked us.

We are so out-powered it's *laughable*.

There isn't really a way to get on their level in regards to fighting.

Which is why focusing on things like tracking charms and always having someone who can teleport with us is a much better plan.
>>
File: The MC's Position.png (193 KB, 545x443)
193 KB
193 KB PNG
Hopefully I'll be questing again tomorrow morning.

>>2777640
Well, I finally managed to read it. And you hit several of my fetishes, took a really hard left turn partway through, and sewed it up with an hilariously out-of-fucking-nowhere "it was a dream" ending. You succeeded in dragging me through the emotional rainbow.

Obligatory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wguC89fC5F0

I'm super down with people writing, about anything, for any reason. I used to be even worse than this, years ago, and it's been a hard climb.

So don't read this spoiler if you're easily discouraged, but I feel like I have to say it, and I apologize in advance: VERB TENSES ARE A THING. Nothing jerks people out (not off, out) of suspension of disbelief harder than bad conjugations and manhandling English grammar like a fat faceless man groping a schoolgirl on a subway. https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Smut_Writing_Tips_for_Aspiring_Writefags
>>2778577
>>2778605
>>2778681
>>2778863
>>2778904
>>2778913
>>2778969
I wish I could get into this debate, but I'm the QM, so I really can't. It looks fun, though. I'll still hit some of it for kicks:

>Isekai fetish quest
File your complaints if the MC gets an elf slave or a bound succubus.
>narrative needs conflict
You hit the nail on the head. Conflict has become increasingly harder to provide as things go on, and the MC Katamari Damacy's his way through the world.
>"No, I teleport behind YOU"
This is part of the reason some fights have been terribly anticlimactic. Fucking and fighting suck to write unless there's some real emotional catharsis to get out of it.
>much more low-power
The guy who runs the mob, and the guys who hit the streets with brass knuckles or guns - they're usually not the same guy. Pic vaguely related.
>>2778915
>within a couple days of coming back, we got everything together and CRUSHED or absorbed the challengers
It's been a busy 30-40 hours after the coma, hasn't it?

Got a family reunion and everything, too.

I think Bernie might blow a gasket, once he realizes the MC has the police in his pocket, and a sizeable faction in Hell who would probably avenge his ass with extreme prejudice.
>>
File: 1509863425324.jpg (405 KB, 1200x800)
405 KB
405 KB JPG
>>2778995
>Eat our soul.
I can live with it as long as Marion is safe.
>Unmake us.
I can live with it.
>Convert us into a demon.
Might be bad but hopefully we'll be put down quick like a dog with rabies.
>Fuse our soul to another one in order to make a weird gestalt.
Just like in my animes!
>Force us into those Bad ending pastebins that have been brought up.
NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE SO MUCH NOPE ALLOFMYNOPE!
>>
>>2778995
Also most of the things you're worried about are just death in a fancy hat.

And for people using our death to get people to wreck shit, we have a bunch of Wizards who are all about secrets who they would have to worry about tracking them down.

Not that I'm saying someone won't try that, but once again power levels are so far out there that really we should be focused on figuring out ways to avoid that which don't rely on making the MC overpowered.
>>
>>2779001
>There isn't really a way to get on their level in regards to fighting.
Of course i know that, i don't want the character to get more powerful in the combat sense; not only that would be idiotic, because we would need to be something bigger than a fallen angel, but that will create the scenario you said before. What i want is for us to be the support which we already are on emotional matters. Have shit that can boost their perception, or that makes them react faster, or that can deflect attacks or that prevents them from turning into chunky bits after a hard fight. That will let the girls have their fun and allows us to have more ways to be of importance other than unleashing them.
>>
File: 1532495968839.jpg (20 KB, 320x357)
20 KB
20 KB JPG
>>2779011
> MFW someone actually made Elf Slave Wat Do quest

> MFW it turned out to be pretty good
>>
>>2779026
We provide a leadership role.

Originally before the Gusion thing, we were getting everyone to work together so that we could start to actually co-ordinate their fighting.

But I wouldn't mind if our main support was strategic dadding. Like. Re-focus on resolving the slice of life issues like we did with Ellie being spiritually toxic.

We gotta resolve things like Sue's Dad being a shit. Shelly and Einz having a Wizard Alcoholic father wrecking their family unknowingly. Kelly dying soon from his disease. Protecting the City from the fallout of magical combat.

Don't forget, we still have that Zeus paternity account to deal with.

You want us to get more involved in fighting. I want the story to get more involved with handling the fallout from having magical powers and fighting.

Combat can be fine when it's short and quick, if it's a resolution to a social/emotional conflict that's been built up.
>>
>>2779035
>that Zeus paternity account to deal with.
Fuck! I knew I was forgetting something important!
>>
>>2779035
>Combat can be fine when it's short and quick, if it's a resolution to a social/emotional conflict that's been built up.
i just hope they don't start ending up like the one with guison.
>>
>>2779040
I can just imagine Bernie's face when we show up for work on monday as usual acting like nothing has really changed. I mean, yeah, things happened. But Monday always comes around eventually.
>>
>>2779042
Well, the problem is that we have a schwackload of powerful people.

We really need to go on "side missions" with a small portion of the crew tonhelp them resolve problems that are either personal, or political and that prevent us from sending everyone in at once.

Like how America could take the world with its Navy, but has to rely on proxy wars and shit because WW3 would trash everything.
>>
>>2779048
Y'know with the idea of side quests, it would be a neat thing to play through the eyes of the other characters on that side quest if allowed.
>>
>>2779027
Shit, that's a real thing. I was just joking about some of the recent Isekai genre trends (where magically-collared slaves are now almost part of the default setting), not calling out another QM.

>>2778989
>you should never underestimate a story that is far from being over
>>2778995
>Then trust haiku... ...his writing is really solid
I'm touched by your faith in me, and promise to be slightly less of an asshole than the Greco-roman gods.
Oh wait. That's not promising anything at all.

>>2779035
>Sue's Dad being a shit.
>Implying she has a dad.
>Wizard Alcoholic father
I think W (and probably Shirley) got a hell of a wakeup call about Rachel earlier.
That sort of thing is exactly what I was talking about when I said no amount of killing demons and punching rat gods (even if the rat god is a loli, or three smaller rat gods standing on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat) can really fix these people. At best, it's just a catalyst to start the conversations and years of love that might have a chance.
>>
>>2779048
>>2779042
There's also the plot of us having to deal with an "episode" where we get stuck with one or more people while their magical powers simply don't work.

It could be a "trapped in an illusion" scenario, a "No magic Island" scenario where we're stuck somewhere that magic can't be accessed- and where magical girls can live normal lives if they choose, but at what cost?, or fighting someone who no-sells magical attacks and can only be hurt by unique or conventional means or alternatively can turn people's magical power against them etc. Or a "must maintain the masquerade" issue where using any/too much magic would bring the Feds down on us.

Aside from situations that can't be resolved by conflict.
>>
>>2779055

Who has the rich/powerful dad again then? Shit, was it Karen?
>>
>>2779058
Yeah it was Karen, also the same assholish father who's strict as fuk.
>>
File: Spoiler Image (139 KB, 1280x720)
139 KB
139 KB JPG
>>2779056
>fighting someone who no-sells magical attacks
Do NOT give me the excuse to expy pic related. Don't do it.
>>2779058
>Shit, was it Karen?
Yeah, Karen's the one with the asshole dad and all the high-class family expectations. She's probably closest to the stereotype of teenage 'acting out' in the cast.
>>
>>2779055
Elf Slave, Wat Do was a popular shitpost from /tg/.

Believe me, everyone in that quest is aware of what the premise is. But /qst/ is just entering its golden age now where people are used to the tropes and are naturally subverting it in quests now in favor of interesting writing and character development instead of only DBZ Tuffle Quest v9.6 etc.

I mean, there are still low effort power fantasy fetish bait quests happening but I won't point out who I feel is writing them.
>>
>>2779062
>Elf Slave, Wat Do was a popular shitpost from /tg/.
I know, it was there years ago, but I didn't realize there was a quest now.
>people are used to the tropes and are naturally subverting
The entire premise of this quest is playing a character who has absolutely no business being in any of the genres he's walking through.
>>
>>2779056
Eh, those scenarios tend to be fun.

>>2779065
At least its not an isekai quest.
>>
>>2779061
>Do NOT give me the excuse to expy pic related. Don't do it.

I double dare you. I bet you don't have the balls to do it . . . *bitch*.

But seriously it wouldn't be a bad idea to have it happen in a side-quest

>>2779053
Pic related, family bonding exercise? If you don't get the reference, check the file name. Time/Dimensional travel is always a good excuse for why nobody can come to the rescue.
>>
>>2779061
so who is the anime dude? i can only deduce that he is an MC and might no-sell magic.
>>
>>2779067
Just because this was the only rule 63 Bill and Tedd pic I found.
>>
>>2779066
>At least its not an isekai quest.
Isekai quest involving Dad and Melon confirmed. As they travel the lands DADDING AND DAUGHTERING THE HELL out of anything that comes their way on their quest to get back home.
>>2779067
So does that make them Wild Mares?
>>
>>2779070
>>2779065

. . . Should we be DMing you these things on Twitter? Have people DM possible plots and story arcs for you to be inspired by?
>>
>>2779070
> I was reborn as my Magical Girl daughters son in a fantasy land where I have magical powers but she doesn't?

> I was reborn as a noble in another world, but now I'm engaged to my daughter so that her magical powers don't go out of control?
>>
>>2779061
>Do not give me the excuse to expy pic related
Dare ya. Although I’m more interested in how you’d justify that power in your setting.
>>2779067
If he takes us up on it, our dear drunken QM might actually have a fatal BAC.
>>2779068
Kamijou Touma, from Raildex. He no-sells magic, punches powerful wizards/psychics/supernatural entities/gods in the face, ruins plans, helps people through their psychological issues, and is sort of a lot like us.

Wait a second.
>>
>>2779065
Also, are there elves in this setting?
>>
>>2779081
>and is sort of a lot like us.
So does this mean we'd get along real well?
>>
>>2779011
>Hit several of my fetishes
>Emotional rollercoaster
This is probably my highest praise I ever get for my shitty writing
>>
>>2779087
Probably, which is why there would be a humorous misunderstanding or a conflicting goal. Maybe us and him are in a "last sane men" situation where we're trying to figure out how to get our respective allies to NOT blow each other up.

I don't really watch Raildex, the MC really is overpowered.
>>
>>2779081
>>2779090
didn't that dude appeared in Railgun?
>>
>>2779092
Maybe, I mostly remember just being bored by the whole thing.

Almost as bad as a FSN universe.
>>
>>2779055
>Sue's Dad being a shit.
>Implying she has a dad.

Explainssomuch.jpg

So does that mean she's adoptable?
>>
>>2779128
>Fuck Me, My Daughter's A Magical Girl! (And These Adoption Papers Are Driving Me, My Wife, My Daughter, My Sister, My Extended Family, Bernie, All The Single Ladies, That Minotaur That Karen Is Seeing, And My Neighbor Fred Up The Damn Wall And Over The Hill, Past Grandma's House Under The Ogre's Swamp Into The Closet That Leads To Narnia!) (Part 1 of 75)
>>
>>2779146
FMMDAMG(ATAPADMMWMDMSMEFBATSLTMTKISAMNFUTDWAOTHPGHUTOSITCTLTN)

cristh thats a mouthfull even as an acrynym
>>
>>2779247
Sounds like Cuthlthu would speak.
>>
Hopefully I'll be resuming this thread soon.

>>2779076
>Have people DM possible plots and story arcs for you to be inspired by?
No. Do it if you want.
>>2779077
>> I was reborn as my Magical Girl daughters son in a fantasy land where I have magical powers but she doesn't?
Just when I thought all the Isekai premises had been done.
>>2779146
Go write an LN - you can certainly write their titles.
>>2779067
>I double dare you.
>>2779081
>Dare ya.
Oh Hell. I think we're at party cap for the "guys with weird arms" class. Although some of the images in my Raildex folder are giving me dangerous ideas for an arc that would doubtless become pure cancer.
>>2779090
>the MC really is overpowered.
Ironically, not having Touma as the focus of an arc usually makes it much better - I'm much more a fan of the Accelerator/Hamazura/Tsumikado 'Dark Side' stuff, and the Railgun S Sisters arc. I do love the way magic works in Index, though.
>>
File: Spoiler Image (157 KB, 583x369)
157 KB
157 KB PNG
>>2759293
I finally got the joke. God-fucking-dammit. I should have recognized ShindoL's art. There's something very distinct about the eyes.
>>
>>2779357
its the magic of the smile. That basically changed the whole image. and the nose. i felt it was too high.
>>
File: Myrna.jpg (227 KB, 1050x1400)
227 KB
227 KB JPG
>>2777602
"I think it did wind her down," Shirley says, "and an offering is traditional when dealing with demons. Too bad he stayed back there - Haru's got some interesting magical theories. And his ears are cute."

Well, you'll agree on general principles with the ears thing.

"Oh come on," Harriet says, smiling, "you just wanted to learn that blue fire he was throwing around."

"Don't you?" Shirley asks. God help you, she really is W's daughter.

"Do I," Harriet asks, "look like a wizard to you?"

"Mmm," Shirley hums, framing Harriet with her hands like a photographer, "add a trenchcoat?"

"Not sure she could grow the stubble to go with it," Myrna says with a smile.

"And you'd have to start smoking," Einz adds.

You're surprised Kelly and James' ears aren't burning. They are cut from similar cloth, now that you think about it.

"Could I pull it off with a bottle instead?" Harriet asks her fashion advisors, taking the joke in stride.

"Doesn't let you blow smoke," Roxy tells her, "critical part of the look, really."

"Hold on a second," Shirley says, "it could work. I know this wizard who does something similar with a wineglass."

"I think you're forgetting the most important thing," Harriet says, "I'm not a wizard."

"It's really the look that counts," Myrna says, "dress like a wizard and do magical girl stuff, and people will think you're a wizard. Trick your enemies! Impress your friends! People think I'm a witch half the time."

"You're right about the stubble, though," Einz says, rubbing her chin with her hand, "how do we fix that?"

"How's the pizza?" you ask, feeling a bit left out. At things have wound around to an almost normal topic. Well, unless someone was about to start talking about bearded ladies.

Is this the sort of conversation you keep missing out on when the girls are talking amongst themselves?

You get a chorus of praise for the pizza, which is somehow vanishing at an alarming rate. How have they been talking so much and eaten it that quickly? You secure an extra slice onto your plate, before they manage to vanish it all.

>I'm not sure that would be a good look.
>So is this how 'makeovers' work?
>Well, glad you're all having fun.
>We did good work today, ladies.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2779456
>>So is this how 'makeovers' work?
>Well, glad you're all having fun.
>>
>>2779456
>"You're right about the stubble, though," Einz says, rubbing her chin with her hand, "how do we fix that?"
Someone has got to know a hair growth spell.
>Just relax in the relative normalcy of things for once.


I think commenting on much of anything will pop the bubble. Just let them talk.
>>
>>2779456
>Join the convo, use
>>2779471
for a line, comment about hair spells
>>
>>2779456
>So is this how 'makeovers' work?
>Whatever happened to robes and or pointy hats to make them fall out of fashion?
>How much of a headache am I going to get on Halloween?
>>
>>2779486
>How much of a headache am I going to get on Halloween
I csn already imagine the halloween arc where the QMC dresses up as MOTHERFUCKING DOOMGUY
>>
>>2779456
>So is this how 'makeovers' work?
>You could braid your hair down into a fake beard, like a faux Norseman of old.
>Well, glad you're all having fun.
>>
>>2779456
>>So is this how 'makeovers' work?
>>
File: Very definitely Harriet.jpg (896 KB, 3500x3500)
896 KB
896 KB JPG
>>2779456
This feels weird. Nobody's threatening a fight. Nobody's threatening to... nevermind. Nobody's talking about murder, torture, or even strange magic. It feels almost normal.

Oh hell, normal's beginning to feel weird to you.

"So is this how 'makeovers' go?" you ask, trying to keep the moment up. Although you're pretty sure they're just joking about .

Well, that gets the girls laughing.

"Sort of," Shirley says, still giggling a little, "actually, a long coat might look good on you, Harriet, even if you're not going for the 'trenchcoat brigadier' look" she finishes, looking at the local time-traveler.

"I'm thinking just draped over the shoulders," Roxy says, leaning back in the booth contentedly.

You're going to have to pay for all that pizza, aren't you?

"I know where we can borrow one," Myrna says, with a grin that threatens to split her face in half, "two, even. We can try different colors! Tan or red?"

Oh dear, the crazy's started again.

"Black's more her color," Einz says, jumping out of the booth, "I'll ask dad if I can borrow his."

Oh god, they're making a production out of it now. There's such a thing as taking a joke too far.

But you glance over at Harriet, and see the traces of a smile on her face.

"Want me to let you out of the booth?" you ask.

"Yeah," she says, and then whispers as she passes, "you should have seen the time I went blonde."

That, uh, ok, that must have been some timeline.

And suddenly the girls from your table are trying to persuade Kelly, James, and Rob to part with their coats so they can put on a one-woman fashion show with Harriet.

You hear someone say "a man's coat is his soul!" but the girls eventually get what they want.

How did this happen, again?

Kelly's coat is far too long for Harriet, dragging a good couple feet onto the floor. Black really is her color, though.

There's just something terrifying about seeing James' stained mass of tan draped around her.

"Why does it smell funny?" Harriet asks, and gets a roar of laughter.

"Demon blood?" Madison suggests, "natural consequences of a dissipated lifestyle?"

"He sleeps in it," someone says.

Harriet can't shrug it off fast enough after hearing that.

Rob's red coat actually sort of fits. Well, at least it's not dragging the floor.

Harriet gives a twirl, and it flares out as she spins.

"That's a good look on you," Liska says, walking around the magical girl, "few too many buckles, but I like it."

"I'm red already," Karen says, "someone's going to confuse us if you wear that."

"Aren't bovines colorblind?" Harriet asks, extremely innocently, stripping the jacket off and handing it back to Rob, telling him, "you're going to have to tell me where you got it."

That fractures everyone into small knots of conversation and laughter, now that they're not all looking at Harriet's little... performance?

Whatever the hell that was.

"So," Rick asks from your elbow, "is this how things are normally?"
>>
>>2779456
>>So is this how 'makeovers' work?
>>
File: Rick.jpg (321 KB, 800x800)
321 KB
321 KB JPG
>>2779568
"Things are usually a lot less normal," you mutter at the guy, "did you get your guys out?"

"Yeah," he says, "but I think I might need killcounts for," and he glances around at your party, and whispers, "seems like there was a lot of betting on who got the most. And the idiot who bet on Mary getting the kill on Gusion has applied for a month of vacation."

You don't even want to think about what they were betting, or what vacation hotspot that demon's going to end up in with a couple fistfuls of Benjamins.

"Highest I heard so far was twenty," you tell him, "ask them yourself. After we're done here - I want to try keeping things at least a little normal for a while."

"I can respect that," the demon cop says, and then whispers, "I'd guessed you would, which is why I'm not asking them already. And why I bet there wouldn't really be a fight between your sister and Mary."

Why do these people bet on everything? And how much did he make off of that?

>You get up for a smoke break?
>Let's just enjoy the relative normalcy while we can
>Go find someone else to talk to [WRITE INs CONSIDERED]
>You still have pizza to eat.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2779589
>>You still have pizza to eat.
>>
>>2779589
>>You still have pizza to eat.
>>
>>2779589
>You still have pizza to eat.
>Are all demons heavy gamblers, or are all good gamblers demons?
>>
>>2779589
>>Let's just enjoy the relative normalcy while we can
>You still have pizza to eat.
>>
>>2779589
You still have pizza to eat
Ask tob about the cop that wants our dick
>>
>>2779589
>Let's just enjoy the relative normalcy while we can
>You still have pizza to eat.
CARESS THE NORMALCY! LOVE THE NORMALCY! IMPREGNATE THE NORMALC- Wait a minute that has nothing to do with normalcy at all!
>>
>>2779604
This
>>
>>2779589
Backing this >>2779604
>>
File: Rick.jpg (175 KB, 800x586)
175 KB
175 KB JPG
>>2779589
"Are all demons heavy gamblers?" you ask Rick, "or are all good gamblers demons?"

"Most of us," he says, "and some of them? When you're nearly immortal, random chance is damn fun. And you have time to see the million-to-one odds come out at least once. But I think you saw what Butler and I did with those cards. There is no chance when you're playing against a demon," he tells you, staring you in the eyes, "that's why we bet on stuff we don't have any control over. Well, little control over. I was in that fight, after all."

If he was, he wasn't near you. And you're guessing he didn't bet on himself for 'high score'.

"I've got a guy," you say, on a whim, "I'd like to see you play against someday. A brother-in-law."

"Not the guy we left back there?" Rick asks, "I don't think poker's his game. Can't wear a mask to save his life."

Whatever else he might be, this guy's not the most incredible judge of character. Well, he only had a few hours to get his read on Haru.

"Nah, different one," you tell him, "name's John, and I've heard he's been hustling cards for six hundred years or more. Won passage out of Japan from a Dutch captain and only recently looked back."

"Hmm," Rick says, and recognition lights in his eyes, "I swear I know that story from somewhere. Wait, are you talking about White John, the Slant-Eyed Dutchman?"

That sounds a touch overdramatic.

"She's his sister?" Rick whispers to you, jerking his head at Liska.

"I take it you've met?" you ask.

"I don't think so," he says, "and if we did, I was blackout. But I've heard about him. Yeah," he says with a grin, "I'm in for a game with him," and punches you lightly in the arm, "I'm headed out for a smoke."

Well, that uh, went somewhere. And you're hoping that if that game ever does happen, John doesn't do something stupid like wagering his soul.

Penny ante, maybe?

Well, you've got pizza left to eat, and you'd better enjoy something like normalcy while you can, so you head back to your booth, half-listening to the various conversations going on, and watching the smokers file outside.

It feels like the tension suddenly snapped when Gusion died. Everyone's talking, laughing, and just... enjoying themselves.

And when you sit back down, you realize you're going to have to defend you slices of pizza from...

>Karen
>Liska
>Bernie
>Sue
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2779726
>>Sue
Seems like the sort of mostly-a-game thing she'd do.
>>
>>2779726
>EVERYONE Because apparently while you were talking, you weren't eating, and everyone's been eyeing those slices for a bit now.
>>
>>2779726
>>2779734
this
>Apply the best weapon we have
>Combination of the Pissed of Sergeant and Disappointed Dad look, while eating your pizza.
>>
>>2779726
>>Sue
Goddamit sue, that anchovy/garlic piece is mine!
>>
>>2779726
>>Sue
I wanna vote Bernie but some relaxation is good right now.
>>
wait. In what moment did bernie arrive?
>>
>>2779752
When the plot demands it via choice.
>>
>>2779726
>Sue
She does want a piece of us after all.

Then again so does our wife
>>
It seemed reasonable that some 600+ year old kitsune gambler would be known to a demon of indeterminate age that also enjoys gambling.
White John, the Slant-Eyed Dutchman is such an awful moniker, though.

>>2779679
>the cop that wants our dick
Where did I imply that? It would be funny though.
The MC hasn't even seen his true form yet. (Although I think some of the other folks did during the lower slopes fight.)

>>2779752
>In what moment did bernie arrive?
If that option was selected, he'd arrive in the first five sentences of the ensuing post. He's not at this pizza place right now.
It's sort of a shortcut option to the next 'plot point', in case people were tired of the dialogue and screwing around.
>>
>>2779764
>Where did I imply that?
The chick that pulled us over and gave us that business card with a number on the back, which was then promptly forgotten because the chief of police came directly to our door.
>>