You've had a hell of a night.A ratfaced bastard slammed through your study window, a little ferret-ish creature looking for your daughter, Marion.Pulling your daughter into this sort of crazy shit? Hell, you would go there instead to protect her.You interrogated him, Jack Bauer style, and he enchanted a box of shotshells to "bite demons". Then he took you to the scene of a demon attack on a mall.You resolved it, with a couple of magical shotgun blasts. Against a demoness that seemed rather inclined to follow your orders to GET OUT after that.Then your daughter dropped in, you hugged her and took her to an ice cream shop to discuss how dangerous this sort of thing was. She, uh, she had an idea that if she didn't put her life on the line, innocents would die.She's not wrong, but you'd throw her in with the 'innocents' category. And you let her go off to a 'sleepover' with her friends.Once you'd thought about it a little more, you tried to drag her home since it was well past her bedtime, but when you put your hand on her shoulder, one of her magical girl friends attacked you.And, uh, surrendering wasn't an option.So you blew both of that blue-haired psycho's arms off with a shotgun, then had a little talk with 'Mary', the leader of their little group.And now you're walking your daughter back home, for a nice family conversation with you and her mother.>Talk to your daughter on the way (WRITE IN QUESTIONS)>Maintain stony masculine silence...And you're pretty sure that blue-haired girl wants to bone you, but there's got to be a chapter in the Parenting Handbook for this, right?
>>2625318>>Talk to your daughter on the way (WRITE IN QUESTIONS)So... for how long have you been doing this?>Maintain stony masculine facade.
>>2625318I'll second >>2625324 but also ask how much she actually knows about the ferrets and what they want.
>>2625318First thread archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2622184/Twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDelugeRule system: 20min voting period after first voting post.Dice are d100>>2625324First voting post at 12:23 - voting closes at 12:43
>>2625318>Maintain stony masculine silence
>>2625318>>Talk to your daughter on the way (WRITE IN QUESTIONS)So... for how long have you been doing this?>Im sure you have questions...
>>2625318The two of you walk home in silence for a long time.You were teleported to this mall by the rat in your pocket, so now you're going to have to walk back. Since you're a bit in the suburbs, that'll take a bit.Maybe you should have driven, but you were too caught up in the moment to even think of that as an option. Next time, maybe.If there is a next time, and there had better not be.Your daughter has dispelled the frilly magical girl outfit, and is walking beside you in more reasonable looking clothes.Melon... How much has she grown up in ways you can't see? This 'magical girl' stuff burns someone out on the inside.Sometimes, it burns them spectacularly on the outside."So," you say, breaking the silence of the trudge along the tarmac's shoulder, "how long have you been doing this?"She looks at you with - there are so many things in that expression. Gratefulness you protected her as her father. Respect at what you could do in that vein, the combat she'd witnessed, and the knowledge that you had some idea of how her magical girl work went. Absolute horror that you, or one of her friends might have killed each other, and maybe a question of what her friend saw to inspire the blue-haired psycho's outburst."About a year," she says."Do you want to know how many demons we've put out during that?" she continues, a bit of defiance flaring in her eyes, "and how many of them would have done incredible damage if we hadn't been there?" You're pretty sure letting her know you've got the ferret/rat in your pocket is a bad idea.She's an idealist.She thinks she's doing the right thing. And, she thinks that rat is part of that.>Yeah, tell me your KDR on those things>Why did you keep at it for that long?>What do you know about rats?
>>2625407Also>I'm sure you must have questionsand>WRITE IN
>>2625407>>Yeah, tell me your KDR on those thingslets indulge her a little bit. make her feel like we don't want her head in a stake.
>>2625414I'll second this. She probably won't be expecting us to actually ask either.
>>2625407>>Yeah, tell me your KDR on those things>Also tell me about this Familiar that contracted you.
>>2625407>What do you know about rats?
>>2625410First voting post 13:02 - votes close at 13:22 (unless it's a huge majority before that.)
>>2625407>Yeah, tell me your KDR on those things
>>2625410>Yeah, tell me your KDR on those things
>>2625407"Yeah," you say, "What's your kill/death ratio on those demons?""I haven't exactly been keeping track," she admits. That's a fairly good point for her. She isn't a full Magical Girl."Well, I'm sure you have your own questions for me," you say, "but I've got another good one for you.""What?" she asks. Her eyes narrow as she looks you.>If you haven't died, your KDR is dividing by zero>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR|> Mom is waiting for us when we get home. Should we get our story straight here?> WRITE IN
>>2625407>What do you know about rats?:D thread continues yay!
>>2625457>Scold her, while she thinks she may be doing the right thing it will get her killed and break your heart not to mention the chars wife. :V
>>2625462First voting post at 13:23 - voting ends at 13:43 (unless I end it earlier because there is a foregone conclusion)
>>2625457>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR|>Now speak about the rat
...Have we decided on a name already?Also>>2625457>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR
>>2625457>> WRITE IN>what do you know about this furry bastard (pull out the ferret from ypu pocket)?
>>2625457>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR"Sweetie if you think I'm being unreasonable, wait till you see your mother hearing all of this. You'd think she was the mother of all demons."
>>2625457>>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR|
>>2625457>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR|
>>2625478Kek. I like this.
>>2625457>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR|>Do you know why they only pick teenage girls?I really hope we provide the answer. They're more emotional and less anti-authoritarian than boys that age. It makes them easier to manipulate.
>>2625457>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR|>My sister, your aunt? She had a KDR in the ten of thousands. Pretty good yeah? Except she’s still dead and the demons aren’t.
>>2625457"Youre' my daughter," you say, "And that matters more than your Kill/Death ratio."If anyone had told you that you that you'd be walking down a road at one in the morning with your teenage daughter, rambling about her kill to death ratio, you might have socked him.Well, here you are."You know my KDR is X/0!" Marion yells at you,"you taught me math. If I'm alive, it's X/zero!""And you have no idea what's over that zero," you say, walking down the tarmac."You have no idea what we go through to keep those demons off of innocent folks!" she slams at you.>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?>Why do you think I don't know that?>I've seen this before. Can you just accept I know a little more than you?>Write In
>>2625525>Why do you think I don't know that?>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?
>>2625525>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?>Why do you think I don't know that?
>>2625525>”Is that so kiddo?”>Laugh>Laugh Hardhttps://youtu.be/PyyPI3LUQVc
>>2625525>3, 2 and 1 in that order
>>2625525>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?
>>2625532First voting post at 13:51, votes close at 14:11
>>2625525>Why do you think I don't know that?>I've seen this before. Can you just accept I know a little more than you?
>>2625525>Why do you think I don't know that?Come back from work and this shows up. I guess I don't need sleep.
>>2625525>>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?>>Why do you think I don't know that?
>>2625525>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?Also what was your wish?
>>2625525"Ya think I don't know what you go through?" you say, something shining through your eyes that cows her.You're a dad, you're a disciplinarian. And she knows more than you'd want about the effect you've had on supernatural entities recently.Offense is the best defense. The question hangs in the air."Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?" you ask.
>>2625574At this, the rat tries to pop out of your pocket."Because their biology can channel magic!" it says. You've heard it referred to as 'Freebles', but dignifying it as a title beyond you.The rat can go back in your pocket for now. And you'll remember what it said.Right now, you're very close to walking into your own front door.Covered in blood, holding a shotgun, and with your daughter standing next to you.>Hey, Honey, I'm home!>Try to sneak in>Hey, we need to have a family conversation>Write in
>>2625585>Hey, Honey, I'm home!Always keep a cheery tone up till she sees us.>Hey, we need to have a family conversation
>>2625585>1 and 3
>>2625585>Hey, we need to have a family conversation
>>26255851 and 3 I guess
>>2625585>Hey, Honey, I'm home!>Hey, we need to have a family conversationJustDadThings
>>2625585>>Hey, we need to have a family conversation
>>2625585Turns out my shotgun can channel magic too you jew rat, why not work with the cops?
>>2625585>Hey, Honey, I'm home!>Hey, we need to have a family conversation
>>26255851 and 3 but don't let that hang. Our shells channelled magic just fine.
>>2625585>>Hey, we need to have a family conversation>>2625596Also this.
>>2625601>>2625596Right with this,We should never let this go that easily.
>>2625588First voting post at 14:11 - voting closes at 14:31
If Melons has been hunting for a year, why did the rat originally come to our room? When was the remodel? Had she taken time off? I need answers to these questions, QM.Also->>2625617Agreement here.
>>2625596>Turns out my shotgun can channel magic too you jew rat>>2625601>Our shells channelled magic just fineIt might be linked to the 'father with a shotgun' tropes and cliches. Papa Wolves and Mama Bears might be far more powerful the MGs but far harder for the Rats to control.
>>2625650>I need answers to these questions, QM.The remodel was very, very shortly before the beginning of this. That room was Marion's for several years, so who knows?Before that, perhaps someone left the window open in that room?
>>2625585You unlock the front door, then say "Hey, honey, I'm home!".And absentminded "Come in," filters down a couple hallways. Your wife's something of a novelist, and doesn't like being disturbed while working.Unfortunately, there are a few things you feel need to disturb her, so you walk into her study, Marion in tow."Hey," you say, "we need to have a family discussion."She looks up from her work for the first time, and almost panics."What happened to you two?" she asks, "let me get the first aid kit, and you get into the living room!"As she rushes off you exchange glances with your daughter.And then the two of you settle into the living room with your wife, as she dabs isopropyl alcohol over your respective wounds.>Street punks, that was definitely it!>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.>Melon's a magical girl, we fought demons, and one of her friends probably has a crush on me?>No secrets in this house - why don't you tell us your story, Melon?>Write in
>>2625719>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.
>>2625719>>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.>At least you don't have secrets like that, honey.
>>2625719>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.>But don't let me spoil the whole story. Why don't you give us your rendition, Melon?
>>2625720First voting post at 14:45 - voting ends 15:05. I may also close it faster if there's a super clear winner
>>2625719>>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.>But don't let me spoil the whole story. Why don't you give us your rendition, Melon?
>>2625728>>2625719This all the way.
>>2625719>i'm fiiine, don't worry >Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.
>>2625719So we haven't told Melon about her dead Aunt yet?Or pointed out that we were doing fine with our shotgun prior to her showing up and demanding we murder someone in cold blood after they had surrendered? We didn't raise our little girl to be racist, even if it's against the Demons that killed our sister. Especially not at the dmbisding of the monsters who sent our sister out to fight and die while still a child.
>>2625719>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.>Melon's a magical girl, we fought demons, and one of her friends probably has a crush on me?
>>2625767My guess is that it was an extremely sensitive topic for us to bring up due to how the events might have played out in the past. I believe that Dad-MC assumed that since the magical girl stuff was done and over with the death of the sister, he didn't see the need to bring it up again. Oh how wrong he was to assume that now.
>>2625767Our sister knew what she was getting into, regardless of our pleas to not be stupid or at least get something that could protect her more than a frilly dress. Demons might be assholes, but our sister went into battle unprepared.
>>2625719You screech as the alcohol burns into you."Are you trying to go SS on me?" you ask your wife, with the hint of a smile on your face."No it's just springtime for - " and she jabs something stinging into an open wound, and you scream.Well, that's why your married her. Or one of the many reasons why."So," you say, fighting through the disinfecting routine, "Our little Melon's a magical girl. Just found out tonight, and had to take a shotgun to a few demons.""I met up with some of he friends, and we other demons after that..."Your wife is looking at you with a scalpel-like glare.You can't save yourself.You can only hope your daughter can save you from this...[Marion the magical girl!]>Yeah, mom, he jumped in and saved us!>He's actually kind of a dick, and I have no idea why you married him>I can't tell you anything. [CODE OF SECRECY]>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?
>>2625804>>Yeah, mom, he jumped in and saved us!>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?FINAL DESTINATION
>>2625804>But it was fiiiiiine. Nothing serious. :D
>>2625804>>He's actually kind of a dick, and I have no idea why you married him
>>2625804>Yeah, mom, he jumped in and saved us!>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?
>>262581115:12 - 15:42 - voting closesYou know the drill.
>>2625826Wait, the ending should be 13:32. Sorry!
>>2625804>>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?
>>2625804>He's actually kind of a dick, and I have no idea why you married him>I can't tell you anything. [CODE OF SECRECY]Not that I think this will work but I would like to see Melon be a different character not just MC wearing a mask.
>>2625840Pretty much why we shouldn't play them. You know what scratch >>2625836 and go with >>2625840 instead.
>>2625804>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?
>>262583215:32. What am I thinking.
>>2625840Melon never really showed any of this hostility or any aversion to telling mom on the entire way home. This is a switch of her character established thus far. Though >My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?Just seems way fucking wrong too.
>>2625804>>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him
>>2625859Yes but she's a teenager that's been getting lectured by dad on a topic they think they know more about than him AND she thinks she's in the right. There's a tipping point eventually.
>>2625868by that logic she should be trying to hid everything and sownplay the situation by a lot. Don't you all remember what kinds of shit you pulled when trying to avoid a conflict with your parents? all the bullshit you all said to avoid the inevitable for a little longer?
>>2625874I agree? How does her saying she can't say anything and trying to misdirect to her dad being a dick not accomplish that?
>>2625878Because saying that is confidential will only make the mom pour more pressure upon you. Placing the dad under the metaphorical for now) train, will make you lose your only ally. And since he gave just a general description of the scene, you can downplay it and make it seem like it was nothing serious.
>>2625889Your expecting this level of subtlety from a teenager? She's not thinking that far ahead. Regardless this kinda stuff is why I'm against playing separate characters, especially when they're in opposition of each other.
>>2625905...well, i guess you are right on both points.
>>2625804"And one of my friends tried to kill him," little Melon cuts in on that awful silence."You can see why I tried to stop what was going on," you saw, "If I hadn't, I'd be dead."There's a look you can't interpret in your wife's eyes. Respect? Hatred?"Yeah," your daughter blithely continued on, "and then she just - ""Alright, young lady," you say, "It's far, far past your bedtime. I think," you say, looking over at your wife, "I think everyone here needs some sleep."...There's a lot less fight than you could have anticipated out of your daughter as she plods off to bed."So I trust you've got your own version, dear?" you wife says suddenly embracing you from behind, pulling you towards your bedroom.ROLL D100
>>2625913To be fair we were in agreement that she shouldn't be an open book about it but wanted to play it differently.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>2625923WEW LADDIE!
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>2625923aw shieee-
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>2625923
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>2625923
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>2625923
>>2625923Oh, and I'm also accepting write-ins to work into this
>>2625930"When this magical girl hits 88 miles per hour, You're gonna see some serious shit...."
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>2625923
>>2625943>Magical chunky meat salsa
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>2625923
>>2625923>"I did have to fight a demon and we did have a small argument with her friend but it's all fine.. mostly">"Except the MG part, i guess"
>>2625962>>2625923>Have i told you how hot you look when you are angry?
>>2625923"I feel I should have a little mother-daughter talk with her about all this," your wife tells you, and flits off after your daughter.That's probably the best you could have hoped for.But while she's away (and before she comes back upon you), don't you have some questions for the rat?>Why Teenage Girls?>Why My Daughter?>Why was I able to order that demon around?>WRITE IN
>>2625973>>Why My Daughter?
>>262597715:56 - 16:16 deadline.
>>2625973>Why My Daughter?>Shake it around violently between answers.
>>2625973>How long are you going to keep up the charade? We both know you're full of shit, and unlike last time I won't keep my mouth shut.
>>2625973>>Why Teenage Girls?
>>2625973>>Why My Daughter?>>Why was I able to order that demon around?
>>2625973>Why My Daughter?
>>2625973>Why was I able to order that demon around?>Why Teenage Girls?
>>2625990My vote's on this
>>2625973>>Why was I able to order that demon around?
>>2625973"Look," the rat says, as you pull it out of your pocket and cock the shotgun menacingly, "I 'll tell you what you want to know. Nothing you can do can kill me - but those whells I gave you can send me back home. And I'm pretty sure there's a nasty trial and a hanging waiting there. So I'll take my chances with you.""Why my daughter?" you ask, baring a few more teeth than necessary for a smile."Because she's a teenage girl," the rat says, "and a little more than that.""Seems like you don't know anything about magic," it continues smugly, "there's only one organ in your species that can handle it. And you don't have one."Well, you guess that explains the teenage girls, but you're not happy about it. And not happy about what happened with your sister."No male of your race can have our magic," the ferret says, taunting you from the crushing grip of your fist.>Suddenly you hear Marion scream from her room>You hear nothing, and continue talking to the magic rodent [Write it what you want to know]
>>2626104That doesn't explain the teenage part at all. Why not go for older women with military experience or something?
>>2626104>>Suddenly you hear Marion scream from her roomWe will finish this later.
>>2626111do we really need to know? it really doesn't matter storywise.
>>2626104>you hear nothing... but she's still screaming from whatever caused screaming.Deal with screaming I guess? Would ask why not women in the prime of their athletic ability, but okey doek
>>2626111>inb4 it's a hymen
>>2626104>>You hear nothing, and continue talking to the magic rodent [Write it what you want to know]So I can cut you up and then put that organ in someone else?
>>2626104>>You hear nothing, and continue talking to the magic rodent [Write it what you want to know]so you cant enchanter items
>>2626104>>You hear nothingTell me everything you know about magic and why I shouldn't send you back home for a trial.
>>2626104You're choosing whether there is screaming or there is not screaming.You're NOT choosing whether you hear screaming or not.Just to be clear here
>>2626104>You hear nothing, and continue talking to the magic rodent [Write it what you want to knowOk fair enguh though with all the sluts around isnt mtg hard to find nowa days?But you know you can magic iteams like my shotgun rounds so y not do that for solders adults and they would be able to hadle it.There has to be a another reasion for the girls and where do the deamons come from
>>2626104>You hear nothing, and continue talking to the magic rodent [Write it what you want to know]What >>2626111 said. It matters whether there's a legitimate reason they're picking teenagers apart from them being naive and easily manipulable.
>>2626104>You hear nothing, and continue talking to the magic rodent [Write it what you want to know]But you can enchant items, you can enchant women who are not teenagers, you can do something other than fuck up my family’s life again you lil shit.
>>2626143But want screaming to happen we just dont go to it as its most liky our wife telling our girl the bird and the bees
>>2626126then most teenagers wouldn't be MGs
>>2626111Mybe theye cant have a dick in them?Theres alot more they can make magic they just like little girls.....mybe thats it there all just pedos
>>262611326:47 - 15:07 is the voting period.I feel like this one's gotten chaotic, though
>>2626170>>2626159>>2626156>>2626150You are all beginning to overthink this.
>>2626174Actually, 16:27 - 16:47 is the voting period. I'm bad at math and typing.
>>2626159Basically this. What's stopping them from enchanting a militaries hardware and having them deal with it? Chances are they're making demons to make magical girls to harvest them for something. If demons have been around for so long how come no one else has noticed them?The ferret is full of shit and you can pick him apart really easily.
>>2626192i think that is the reason he has resigned himself to be with us instead of returning to his home planet.
>>2626199That and if he ever gose back his people are going to kill him
>>2626104>it works on shotgun shells, WE THE PEOPLE ->Suddenly you hear Marion scream from her room
>>2626167Not everyone qualifies to be a magical girl, there are probably a thousand normies for each magical girl
>>2626221so? the uterus is the only organ a man doesn't have. Why there are so few MG, and why arent older women used as MGs are different questions (that really shouldn't bother us, because we already know our daughter is one)
>>2626104"And what does any of that have to do with being a teenager?" you growl at the magic rodent."It's complicated," he says, and for the first time the little thing seems almost at a loss, "I'm not a technician. I'm just a field guy - a middle manager! But from what I know, there's something about the physical and metaphysical swirl around them that allows them to tap in like nothing else on this planet can.""And what about my daughter?" you ask, all your teeth bared in an expression only another a carnivore could understand."She begged me for a contract after seeing her friends fighting!" the rodent squeaks, "She asked for this.""So why'd that demon heed my commands?" you snarl at it."Demons are, uh, let me check the docs," it says, and its eyes go weirdly digital, "they acknowledge the stronger as their masters. That's as much as I know - I'm not a demon psychologist!"Just after that, you hear something, and stuff the rat into your pocket. He'll keep until later.>You hear a scream from Marion's room>You hear you wife's footsteps coming down the stairs(Note - this is a decision of what is there to be heard, not which of those you choose to hear.)
>>2626242>>You hear you wife's footsteps coming down the stairs
>>2626242>>You hear a scream from Marion's room
>>2626242>You hear a scream from Marion's room
>>2626242>You hear you wife's footsteps coming down the stairs
>>2626242>You hear a scream from Marion's room holy fuck captcha hates me tonight
>>2626247first voting post at 17:00, voting ends at 17:20
>>2626242>You hear you wife's footsteps coming down the stairsShe'll be walking down with some power tools we can use on the rat bastard.
come on guys, i wanna se that our wife is a demon
>>2626277more likely our wife gets killed by a demon attack and our daughter screams bloody murder.
>>2626284fuck that. that'd be bullshit. our daughter is there and she could protect her.
>>2626242>You hear a scream from Marion's roomDid yandere break in?
>>2626284>more likely our wife gets killed by our daughter's friends attack and our daughter screams bloody murderhere, i fixed for you
>>262626117:22 - we are done.Voting's over.I just hope I can scrounge a good image for this...
The Wife comes down the stairs:>>2626247>>2626249>>2626257>>2626268>>2626300>>2626308Scream from Marion's room:>>2626251>>2626256>>2626259>>2626270>>2626271>>2626290>>2626298We're looking at wife coming down the stairs at 6, screams from Marion's room at 7. Two minutes to tell me I've miscounted.
>>2626325...i hate to say this, but i think you inverted the numbers
>>2626348forget it. i'm stupid and i can't count.
>>2626352Don't give me a heart attack like that!
>>2626354same here holy shit
>>2626242There's a scream from your daughter's room.The rat can wait for later - as long as you've got him prisoner, and rounds that can send him back for judgement among his kin sloshing in your pocket, he's your animal.Like a dog trained by threat of beating.You've made it to your daughter's room in the time it takes to think that.Your shoulder slams the door inward.The scene inside is not anything you thought you'd see.You don't know what 'girl talk' looks like, but you're pretty sure it's not this.Marion is backed up as far as possible on her bed, wrapping the sheets around her like a child hiding from a nightmare.And...THAT's your wife?You've always heard you never know who you married until after the ceremony.This probably takes the cake.Clawed fingers, vacant eyes, gold fur (like her luxurious hair), tails, ears like a foxes, she's not a woman.Well, not a human woman.Fox-woman?You think through everything and find the word 'kitsune'.You ended up with a fox bride?>Kill the demon>"Together 'till death do us part!">Marion, help me kill her> I'm sure we can talk this out>God gave us shotguns for a reason.>Write in
>>2626369>>"Together 'till death do us part!"
>>2626369>"Together 'till death do us part!"
>>2626370We're a family and family stick together no matter what.
>>262637017:44 - 18:04 is the voting deadline.
>>2626369>hug tackle her and get everyone to fucking calm down!
>>2626369>>"Together 'till death do us part!"i mean, she didn't try to kill us in the years we raised melon, so... its fine? That also explains all the sex.
>>2626374There's something a bit ironic about "No secrets in this family", per an earlier thread...
>>2626369>God gave us shotguns for a reason.We need to maximise our dad aura to get our wife back in submission.
>>2626369>> I'm sure we can talk this out
>>2626369>>"Together 'till death do us part!">hug tackle her and get everyone to fucking calm down!
>>2626390>>2626376>hug tackle her and get everyone to fucking calm down!We won't kill our wife
> "I'm sure we can talk this out."
>>2626369>Honey, you still with us?>"Together 'till death do us part!"
>>2626369>>God gave us shotguns for a reason.
We just need to dick all the demons and magical girls to convince them to get on our side and show the rodent aliens that the power of cock can fuel the universe.
>>2626369Ohana means family
>>2626405TROUGH DICK, UNITY!
>>2626369>"Together 'till death do us part!"SHE MAY BE A KITSUNE BUT SHE'S STILL OUR WIFE DAMNIT
>>2626405Pretty sure that hentai exists.
>>2626369> I'm sure we can talk this outI want to say til death do us part, but that seems a bit... on the nose.Kind of a red flag, if you get my meaning.
>>2626419YupAnd I can confirm it exists"From experience"
Holy shit, you're back! Welcome back deluge, my body is ready
I'm pretty sure this is how the vote count goes. "Together 'till death do us part" goes well with the write-in hug option, so that's what we're doing.Wait warmly, douchebags are preparing.Together 'till death do us part!>>2626370>>2626373>>2626377>>2626390>>2626396>>2626401>>2626415Hug her>>2626397>>2626376We can talk this out>>2626388>>2626398God gave us shotguns>>2626379>>2626403>>2626413
>>2626444Jokes on you, i'm already prepared.
>>2626369"'till death do us part!" you yell, as you dive at your wife.Hell, she might have different ears, and a bunch of tails, and claws, but she's still the woman you married!Probably?They say the person you married is never exactly the person you dated....This is probably the extreme end of that.You wrap her in a flying tackle with a bear hug, and get to see her eyes go wide like you'd never seen them before. There's a look in them that you don't quite get, but hell.It's been a long day.She gasps something you don't quite catch, as the two of you hit the wall."Sorry, dear," you say, "but - "...And then you hear your daughter chanting some sort of magical girl incantation. You're not really sure what it is, but it looks super dangerous, and not the sort of thing a good family conversation should have in it.>Ask your wife to deal with her - this was 'girl talk' after all>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!>Fuck off to your beer and your TV. This is what American fathers do.>WRITE IN
>>2626492>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!
>>2626492>Marion you cut that out right now and tell me what happened!
>>2626492>>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!This is why we don't want you to be friends with those murderhobos marion! They teach you to be psycopaths!
>>2626492>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!>WE ARE STILL A GOD DAMNED FAMILY AND SO HELP ME WE ARE GOING TO ACT LIKE IT OR ELSE!
>>2626492>>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!
>>2626492>Warning shot to the ceiling.>"Okay, no magic allowed in this house unless someone intrudes, now let's all talk about this calmly without anyone getting hurt."
>>2626497First voting post at 18:23 - voting deadline at 18:43, or when I feel we have a consensus.
>>2626506i don't think we have the shotgun with us. That will also alert the neighbors and they might call the cops. Also, ceiling repairs are costly.
Oh jesus this is the best scenario i can ever imagine in my life haahahahaha A demon wife and a magical girl daughter no wonder that demon succubus submitted to us very fast.
>>2626492>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!FAMILYFUCKINGMOMENT
OH SHIT, got a dark epiphany. what if the ferrets grab magical girls teenagers not only because of their vagina? But also because they are the children of a demon and a human and thus can use magic.
>>2626497>>2626499>>2626502>>2626503>>2626504>>2626516>>2626523We've got seven votes for tackling the daughteru and making this a group hug (never thought THAT was a sentence I'd write), so unless there are serious objections, I'm calling the vote here.Any objections?
>>2626529just write it nowor if you want please add this>Can we just fucking calm down everyone now ground rulesNO MAGICNO DEMON APPEARANCENO MAGICAL GIRL TRANSFORMATIONas long as you are in this roof you are going to be HUMANS HUUUUUUUUUUUMAAAAAAAAAAAANSUnderstand?>bonus>for some reason they have sparkle in their eyes>Yes dad>Yes honey
>>2626529go for it, we'll keep this family together or die trying
>>2626528Highly improbable, i mean.The demon parents could easily kill their children.Just, for some reason, our wife didn't noticed Melon turn into a magical girl/ or didn't wanted to kill herBut, you never know
Oh god NO ONE TELL BLUE she'll start trying to kill the wife to steal us.
Coincidence???I think not
>>2626552Forget the wife, she'll start trying to kill melon and be our new daughter.
>>2626552Dude did you knew she stalk us just right now......OH WAIT NO AFTER THIS TALK SEARCH THE HOUSE!!
>>2626561I AGREEYOU MADE ME FUCKING PARANOID
>>2626529Group hugs it is.Seriously though do you actually have a plot in mind or are you just completely winging it.
>>2626552>>2626560>>2626561Our wife is a kitsune no Kyuubi. She has golden hair and nine tails. She if the Japanese are accurate a divinely blessed being who has lived 900 or more years. I am fairly certain she could hand blue her ass with ease bordering on contempt.
>>2626541>>2626529And definitely add this in.
>>2626492"Young lady," you say, somehow disentangling yourself from your wife's limbs and tails, "we do NOT talk like that in this house!"Of course, by the time you say that last bit, you're already in midair, on a collision course to hug your daughter.You slam into her before she completes the incantation. The energy she'd already gathered ricochets off the walls, and then your wife grabbed it out of the air like a terrier chomping a tennis ball.The way she moved doing that... Yeah, you admit it, you feel like you've been missing out all these years.But hell, you married her when she hadn't shown you anything like that, so just think of this as icing on the cake!You land under your daughter on her bed, and your wife slinks up to snuggle with both of you, her tails encircling all three of the family.You let out a contented sight.A father and mother, hugging each other and their offspring, this is how life should be.If only it hadn't taken what it did to get here...Alright, you're going to have to ruin this.>Ask your wife what the hell she is>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother>write in
>>2626583>Somebody explain... NOW
>>2626583>Alright, Stop murdering each other and have a firm talk with each other. >Also, Wife we need to spend some time with this new form.
>>2626583>Ask your wife AND daughter what the fuck are they doingThis is the most easiest i think i mean we need to establish domination in this house i mean WE ARE A MAN DAMN IT WE ARE ALPHA
>>2626583>"Alright. So we all had secrets we kept from each other. I guess it's time we all show our hands, huh?">Ask your wife what the hell she is>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother
>>2626590also this that we are a secretly weaboo but our wife saw our *ahem* internet browsing history
>>2626583>set ground rules
>>2626583>>Ask your wife what the hell she is>>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her motherGet both of their stories.
>>2626541>>2626574I think there should probably be a vote on whether that's house rules.That might be something the MC would think was a good idea near the end of this chapter, so stay tuned!>>2626569I'm winging it, but I try to create enough hooks for plots while I write to have something to go off of. The folks who hung around after last that called some of them, based off what I'd done there.Honestly, what I love about questing is that the input of multiple people, all the ideas they have, and everything else, can meld into a story.>>2626588First voting post at 18:45 - Voting closes at 19:05
>>2626583>Ask your wife what the hell she is>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother
>>2626583>"Alright. So we all had secrets we kept from each other. I guess it's time we all show our hands, huh?">Ask your wife what the hell she is>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother>Come clean about our sister, (and about that one time we made napalm to blow up a demon army)
>>2626590>>2626591>>2626598All of this
>>2626583>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother
>To be honest im not mad i mean we have a cuddly wife. A very very comfy wife and a sweet daughter.>We are the luckiest man alive i guess.
>>2626583>Honey, you could have told me about this sooner (touch fluffy tail)>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother>Now girls, do you have anything left that you're hiding?
>>2626583Whatever option we choose, you know what we have to do.
>>2626583> Talk about your Sister, her being a MG, now much it hurt us when she died, and how we are 100% unwilling to let that happen to either our wife or daughter whom we love very much and if necessary we will beat the world to death with this talking squirrel we found and replace magic with THESE HANDS if necessary.> In that bein, much as THESE HANDS have not been raised against anyone in this household, and never shall be, same rules apply for magic.> Now we're going to stay here like this until the women in our lives figure their shit out and let us know what's going on so we can face it as a family.
>>2626626Maybe she didn't because she knows what happened to our sister Or had something to do with it
>>2626583>>2626606> (and about that one time we made napalm to blow up a demon army)In this vein mention that redneckery is just as potent as magic and that your sisters death was avenged.
>>2626636What of shes pur sister just transformed
>>2626645That's not the sort of trashy light novel-esque story we're running here!
>>2626604Also I am opposed to being a secret weeb, instead our Pa was a veteran from Vietnam and picked up his knowledge about fox ladies there. We just thought it was more, what you say, meyaphorical.I feel like we have enough going on with the redneck/accountant/dad/magical hmgirl bystander history. Let's not go full Capeshit on the background here.
>>2626647>>2626648Magic and just thowing it out thereWhat ever op you know thats where this train is taking usSo mumy was shlwing our girl that she too changes and eat deamons???Or is this the fox goddess and the spice salesman in the moden day
>>2626651I'd love to go full Henderson, but anon's right.Also, anime would probably give us ptsd from our sister.
>>2626662Did you just have a stroke?
>>2626651Holy shit, that sounds amazing.Maybe we don't know basically anything about anime And because of that we don't even know that there is a whole gender only for MS
>>2626677Noop just phone posting and didnt spell cheack>>2626669 Nice 69 at the end there but also some days
>>2626583"So why were you trying to kill each other?" you ask as innocently as possible.You've never been that great with women."Because she's a demon!" Marion says, struggling in one of your arms."Because she tried to kill me when I tried to show her that I understood how being a supernatural entity was," your wife says, with no struggle at all, "you told me she was a magical girl, and I just wanted to show her she was.. with.. her mother... in being a... supernatural entity."Damn, those tails are fluffy and comfy.Well, there are a couple of ways to try to settle this.>Get the magic rodent to say your wife isn't a demon (since that THING can apparently convince your daughter)>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?>WRITE IN
>>2626681Well, I know what thread you came from.
>>2626691>>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.>>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
"Sweetie, just so you know you are grounded and in the future you are only meeting your friends with a chaperon to make sure they are not any more of a bad influence on you."
>>2626691>>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>>2626691>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
>>2626691>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.The fox animal soundsand the way she moved in bed should have tiped us off
>>2626693Yep, i always forget to take that name off
>>2626651>Pa was a veteran from Vietnam and picked up his knowledge about fox ladies thereIf I recall correctly, the US government unleashed foxes covered in glow paint on Japanese-controlled islands, since fox-spirits would spook them/I prefer to think that this guy just knows a lot about various legends and supernatural concepts/creatures, and doesn't fly off the handle.
>>2626691>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.Maybe drop a "damn, didn't know I'd married such a fox"Because it's necessary
>>2626691>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>>2626691>"you know, now i understand why you were scared you would give birth to a fox cub all those years ago."
>>2626705Maybe we studied about that religion stuff thanks to our sisters death and the Mahou Shoujo stuff
>>2626691>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.>Ask your wife if she actually counts as a demon.>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
>>2626713>>2626706Also adding this cuz I can't resist
>>2626691Lets get straight to the point.>Marion, melon, sweetheart, you understand that since your mother is a kitsune, you are probably a kitsune too, right?>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
>>2626691>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?>Kitsune are not demons, not the gold ones. The golden ones are divinely blessed entities. (now you know why your wife dragged you to that symposium on youkai.)
>>2626691>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?>...I guess that explains the noises she made when we'd rub her head.
>>2626720The funny part is that 'giving birth to an animal' is actually a very common nightmare for pregnant women.
>>2626695First voting post as 19:14 - end of voting period at 19:34
>>2626729good point, or at least half kitsune
>>2626691>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.Holy shit she's trigger happy
>>2626752See!? Being a magical girl turns you into a murderhobo.
>>2626691>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.Write-in>You're grounded for killing your mother and not ask question. And also you WILL NOT SEE your friends because they are VERY bad influence to you.>*shed a tear* where did our sweet innocent daughter gone>get the rodent and choke the fuck out of him>IF YOU DARE TO CONTACT YOUR GIRLS WITH YOUR MAGICAL BULLSHIT IM GOING TO FUCKING FEED YOU WITH MY WIFE OVER THERE ARE WE CLEAR?
>>2626756i say we avoid killing the ferret, because that does nothing. he also was willing to put up to our bullshit, which means he could enchant more ammo (and probably stuff) to us. He is also middle management, which means he is the proverbial messenger, and i have a soft spot for those guys because i've been in their position before.
>>2626769no we threathen the everloving fuck out of this guy because he may magically telepathy their girls relaying information with our shinenigans inside the house
>>2626769It keeps him away from our daughter, our "bullshit" was not something he put up with he actively was going behind our back in getting our daughter in the mall and since our daughter and wife are magical they can likely enchant ammo too.
>>2626775>>2626786what i mean is that he is willing to put up with our *future* bullshit. I also have no problem with torturing him, just with killing him
>>2626691HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE YOU THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX SPIRIT?Really, how had you managed to miss all the signs?Not even just her signs, but some of the odd things that happened when you went to meet her parents. You should have seen it there at least. "Pet foxes" your left foot, those were their children running around!More than ten years, and you'd only seen it because she revealed herself to your daughter?Because your daughter is a magical girl?And then, because little Melon's a magical girl, she actually tried to attack her mother....on top of that, you have a feeling that you should really visit your in laws after this blows over. It should be a lot more interesting the the first time, and the first time was very, very interesting."Hey, Melon?" you say, rolling over toward her, and then your wife envelops both of you in those fluffy tails, "she's your mother. As long as I've known her, as long as you've known her, she's been a damn good person and a wonderful woman."You crush her into your embrace. "Daddy loves you, and wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you. I just - want what's best for you. and considering your mother's a kitsune, that might not be those friends you have.""You have your mother's blood, you know," your wife speaks up from the other side of you, "you're half a demon, even if you don't want to face it."Marion took one look at her mother's face and ran, but you - you'd never seen a more arousing look there."So," she asked, tails waving, after your daughter had left the bedroom, "do you still desire me? With my ears and my fangs and my tails? Do you still love me, knowing I'm a demon?">I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?>How do I know you are what and what you say you are?>How do you think we're going to raise our daughter right?>Write In
>>2626804>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?>AndIdesireyoualotrightnowplz
>>2626804>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?
>>2626804>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?>also i have a desire to *blush* touch a fluffy tail
We should make this a family interrogation of the rat, bet he'll shit bricks when he sees the waifu.
>>2626804>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?>Kiss hershit's gonna get better in the bedroom!
>>2626804>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it? Besides, I'm kinda into it.
>>262680519:38 - 19:58 is the voting period.
>>2626804>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?>...Yup, i dig it.(kissu)>just one thing... how old are you, really?
>>2626804>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?>Touch fluffy tail
>>2626804>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?>Kiss her>Count her tails (at least that Japanese myth symposium your wife dragged you too is helpful now)
>>2626804I still love you but im need to tuch dat fluffy tail
>>2626819This. This anon is a good anon.
>>2626804>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?>That said, I'm a little annoyed it's taken you this long to tell me. No more secrets, okay?
>>2626804>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?>(stuff that fuzzy bastard into the hamper, dump our sweaty gym clothes in it, and put something heavy on top)
>>2626805>>2626809>>2626814>>2626817>>2626819>>2626824>>2626827>>2626831>>2626832>>2626837>>2626840>>2626841I feel like voting is nearly unanimous here.Please wait warmly, or flame me super hard
>>2626804> Just kiss her really deeply
Time to touch fluffy tail. >This is important because kitsune always want to run away when discovered, and by crash tackling her we've managed to avoid that, now let's finish what we started.
>>2626851Curse you and your timezones QM, I can't keep doing this to my sleep schedule!
>>2626804>>2626851>No one's made a joke about her always being a fine foxy lady before tonight yetI'm disappointed Anons
>>2626860could that be the nickname we have always used on her?
>>2626851WRITE FASTER WE NEED TO TOUCH THAT FLUFFY TAILand also some torturing with that magical ferret with our wife :3
>"No! I must kill the demons" shouted Marion>Father said "No Marion. You are the demons.">And then Marion was a fluffy fox girl.
>>2626877Annnd I fucked up our daughter's name. Fuck.
>>2626877But who was phone?
>>2626804She's there in the moonlight, half undressed, with your daughter having to god knows where, ears and tail waving in the moonlight.There's only one answer:"God yes!," you say, panting over her like the worst dog, "we said - 'till death do us part', didn't we?"She smiled at that, but lost the smile by being unable to keep her lips closed.There's only so much to say. You're honestly not sure you slept that night.All of the things you did to her - touching those fluffy tails, figuring out why 'doggy style' was named that was, fucking her into unconsciousness over and over - that was your answer to her question....And you'd done it all in her daughter's bed. Your daughter's bed.Well, sheets can be washed, and you understood something more than you had before the night began.In the morning, you wake up luxuriously, clothed in the scents of sex, and an animal need for each other.Your wife is still curled up, look almost like a dog, in some indeterminate form.Your daughter is probably at school right now.>Interrogate Rat>Interrogate wife>Find someone else to interrogate>Write In
>>2626910>talk to wife after making sure rat did not run off.
>>2626910>Interrogate wifeMarriage reaffirmed, onto why she kept it hidden. Text the daughter as well to make sure she's ok.
>>2626910>Interrogate RatPreferably with the stained sheets. That'll show him.
>>2626910well, we already traumatized the rat and probably the daughter(if she came later into the night to sleep). So far, so good!>Interrogate wife
>>2626923>Do you have any idea who you're dealing with!? I eat monsters for breakfast!
>>2626917This. Clearly our daughter is into some shit, we can't let her end up like our sister. Some of these "magical girls" are shit and some "demons" aren't clearly. We need a plan, let's Mr and Mrs Smith this situation.
>>262691720:04 - 20:24 voting window
>>2626928now we can literally mean that. because of last night.
>>2626910>Interrogate Rat>Wake up Wife
So this seems like the general fallout.Interrogate (talk to) wife:>>2626917>>2626921>>2626924>>2626940>>2626966>>2626966Interrogate Rat:>>2626922>>2626923>>2626942>>2626958
>>2626942>interrogate Rat w/ wife>Wrap Rat in sheet so he cannot escape
>>2626910"Hey dear," you say and get a noncommittal 'mmhmmm'."You always been such a fox?" you ask, and roll over in bed to take her in your arms.That barks you get seem more like a laugh than anything else."You've got no idea how many demon princes went for me back in the day," she says, suddenly becoming a fox-eared and many-tailed woman in bed next to you.Looking like a hotter version of the woman you married.Maybe women, like wine, improve with age."I'm not surprised," you tell her."And something about you is better than any of them," she say, winking at you over a pillow. "So what about our daughter?" you ask, "She thinks she should be killing demons - "At the moment, Marion , half-dressed, slams in through the door."Die, demon!"And she's talking about her mother.Not that that's too unusual at that age, but...You're in her bed with her mother. Who is, in fact, the demon she wants to kill.>Tackle-hug Marion>Tell her mother 'this is girl stuff'>Just bounce, and let them sort it out>Write In
>>2627020Enough with the tackle-hugs.>Time to pop out the rat and make him stop Melon from attacking waifu
>>2627020>Tackle-hug Marion>Marion, that is no way to talk to your mother. Now knock it off.
>>262702920:37 - 20:57 voting periodUnless I call it for a sure thing beforehand
>>2627020>Tackle-hug Mariondid finding out your mother has fox ears and a tail really change the fact shes been feeding, loving and taking care of you for all these years? the times she put band-aides on your boo boos, made you cookies, or just did dress-up. Does that all mean nothing?
>>2627020>"ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE, YOUNG LADY" "YOU ARE GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO HER, RIGHT NOW"And bring out..... THE BELT.
>>2627020>Tackle-hug MarionYou know before we even dress or shower, cause that's a good idea
>>2627020No more tackle hug, whats her problem?>Slap Melon>"What's wrong with you!? She's your MOTHER not some kinda of freak! Stop this shit right now"
>>2627020>Marion, it's time for the belt.She's half demon so she responds well to violence and power, right?
>>2627020>>Write InPut our foot down. Stand in front of whatever death beam she's preparing and lay it out. This is her mom, the woman who's helping hand in hand with us in taking care of her. This shit will not stand in this house.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>2627020>Forehead flickMore serious than a tackle hug, not abusive like a slap or threatening with the belt. Plus >>2627040 words.
>>2627020THAT'S IT MARION YOU"RE GROUNDED and until im going to drill into your head that SHE IS YOUR MOTHER i will not stop reminding you how your mother loves you.>also name a thing or scenario about your mother says no in about anything>glaring intensifies>Also your friends are bad influenceWe really should hatch a plan how we should stay her out from her friends i mean HOLY SHIT THIS IS BAD she changed her personality drastically in 1 Year
>>2627020>Let's have a serious talk.
>>2627040Let's go with this.
>>2627020>>2627040ThisBut... looking pretty likely at this point that the ferret has her under a compulsion. All thought is out the window, it's just see demon > murder.
>>2627092lets be fair here, she has been battling them for a whole year now. you could compare it to a soldier and the PTSD that comes when firing fireworks.
>>2627020>Tackle-hug MarionGods damn it, if you're going to be like this then we're going to have to make you a little brother or sister.Is this actually something she's able to control?Let's pull out the squirrel and get him to explain, Marion being half-dressed tells me she's maybe sleep-slaying or something.
You know, we might want to tell the wife we dominated another demon, before she shows up at our house, looking for her master.
>>2627144Our wife was so powerful and hot she was a contemporary of demon princes. Odds are she'll just be amused. Free maid.Also we already told her.
>>2627020Calm your tits girl shes not you steap mum
>>2627020"Look," you say, rising from the bed far faster than a man of your age should (particularly if you count in what you did last night), "that's your mother. Does the fact that she has fox ear and a tail outweigh that?""She's a demon!" Melon screams, "can't you see those teeth, those ears? You've been seduced. And," she says, staring you down with eyes you'd hoped to never see again, eyes of nothing but purpose, "I should get myself out right after taking her down! I'm tainted!"Somehow, you feel that your daughter just being into terrible drugs or bad boys would have been easier to deal with."And how do you know all demons are evil?" you ask, half rocketing out of bed, "I've seen your mother birth burp you, feed you from her sexy breasts, and educate you! Help you with you with your homework! Bring you up to be a good woman! Hell, bring you up to be a good person! Is this what the rat taught you? Is this what those friends taught you?"You rush between her and the door."If that's what that's what they taught you it's bullshit!"Oh hell, she's gone frilly."Do you want to kill your family? Do you value us that lowly?" you say, hoping she doesn't peg you with one of those guns that suddenly appeared.You tackle her into a hug, and ask the awful question "Do you hate us that much?""No..." she sobs.You've never been good with crying women, and your daughter's a woman now."Then don't kill your mother! Don't go down the path Sue, that was her name, right, chose! don't become that person!" you say it right into her ear."Whatever the rat said, that's not how life is!" you yell.Then there's a voice buried in the sheets, the rat itself: "he's right. She's not a demon like you know them. She's something from here, not from out there."And your daughter collapses from the words of a rat-faced ferret.>Listen to him, he's right>Does he have this much power over you?>Family is what important here>WRITE IN
>>2627166>Does he have this much power over you?
>>2627166>>Does he have this much power over you?
>>2627166>>Does he have this much power over you?Oh god. This is worse than drugs.
>>2627166>Does he have this much power over you?>Seriously, you're trusting a rat that got your aunt killed over your mom and dad?That rat is going into a cage.
>>2627166... He took a while to cut in...
>>2627176just let me tell you this. The fucking rat enjoyed las night's show.
By golly it's time to have some family bonding time interrogating the rat.
>>2627166>WRITE IN>shock collar the mother fucker
>>2627198Shock collar and put that fucker in a cage.
>>2627166"Does he have that much power over you?" you ask, nearly yelling "like he's your dealer?""To the point that you'd off yourself just from what he said?" you ask. This is worse than any drug dealer. Even if her psycho friend seemed like she was on PCP.This isn't just a drug. All drugs can do it make you feel guilt. They can't make you feel you righteous."Your mother's a good person, and I've known her longer than you've been alive," you say, hoping it makes it through, "and she's known you longer than you can remember!"Your little girl sags like she's been hit.The rat in your pocket screams: "Demon incursion! They're coming!">Go by yourself. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out>Go in, take your little girl into some nexus
>>2627198That's a good idea, and I should give you guys a way to do it
>>2627203>>Go by yourself. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
>>2627203>Go by yourself and bring our rat. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
>>262720821:38-22:08, unless the trigger seem like it should be pulled earlier
>>2627203>>Go by yourself and bring our rat. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
>>2627203>Go by yourself and bring our rat. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it outOh what a convenient demonic incursion. Right when our daughter's catching on.The animal mascots are running both sides, aren't they?
>>2627203>Go by yourself. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out>take the little shit with you
>>2627203>Go by yourself. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
>>2627203"Hey rat," you say, "take us in"You've still got enough enchanted bullets.You've got a crazy rat in your pocket.And before the laws of physics are given a wedgie, you mouth out your wife "Iron out that girl stuff, hey?"You shouldn't be getting used to this warp.But yet, you are getting used to it.Better than your daughter having to get used to it.But she said she'd had about a year doing it. So she's more experienced than you, unfortunately.She should never have to do it again. You'll do it for her.And suddenly you're in a place you don't recognize. Brutalist architecture, the concrete hatred of the Soviet Union.You grew up when they thought they'd bomb you, the duck-and-cover drills>Duck-and-cover>Find the demon and kill it>Find allies - you're a bit far from home>WRITE IN
>>2627257>Find allies - you're a bit far from home
>>2627257Find problemThen kill the problem
>>2627257I can almost hear Fortunate Son in the backgroung>Find allies - you're a bit far from homeAsk the rat about the others girls
>>2627257>Duck-and-cover>WRITE IN>scan your surroundings
>>2627259First voting post at 21:58 - voting closes at 22:18.
>>2627203>Go by yourself; knee deep in the deadhttps://youtu.be/BSsfjHCFosw
>>2627257>>Find the demon and kill it
>>2627257>>Duck-and-cover>Da's war stories crawl into the back of our mind.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40JmEj0_aVM
>>2627257>Find the demon and kill it
>>2627285If we can teleport here, the magical girl crew can too. Finding demon is priority, but our gunfight should draw them to us anyhow.
>>2627257Alright, you've got a shotgun, a magic rat in your pocket, and you've been teleported into a terribly convenient demon incursion.'Convenient' in that it means you don't have to deal with your daughter trying to kill your wife.Your mind is almost set on duck on cover, then finding and destroying the demon responsible. This seems like a good idea - after all, you're a father with a pump-action shotgun, enchanted shotshells, and a magic rat in your pocket.You land on the balcony of an apartment complex that it a fist raised against god - brutalism at its 'finest'. Of course, you duck down behind the balcony."So where's the demon?" you ask the rat in your pocket. "In the middle of the circle," it says, "seems like this entire block of apartments was built as a summoning circle to call and contain it.""And we're near the edge," you say "aren't we?""My usual contractors like coming in at the edges of this sort of thing!" the rat pleads, "and my powers can't warp us close to demons.">Contractors? Like my daughter?>Could I form a contract with you?>So I guess we're going in the center, on foot.>Any allies I should know about?>Write in
>>2627301>So I guess we're going in the center, on foot.>Any allies I should know about?
>>2627301>So I guess we're going in the center, on foot.>Contractors? Like my daughter?>Man you sound like a middle aged Japanese salary worker.
>>2627301So I guess we're going in the center, on foot
>>262730522:26 - 22:46 voting period
>inb4 blue shows up outta nowhere, and we have no daughteru for backup.
>>2627301"So I guess we're goin into the center, on foot," you say. You're really not sure about this. You feel like you've been goaded into it."And why do you sound like an aged Japanese salaryman?" you ask of the rat."Because I am," he tells you, "you know of the Great Wheel - this is simply my station upon it. In a past life, half forgotten, I was a Japanese salaryman""I'm an accountant" you say, "and you understand exactly how much my kind hates you."""Likewise," the little rat tells you, "I want you to die, and not because of any of your threats.""Well," you say, "I feel that understand each other is good, even if we hate each other.""Likewise," the rat says, "Understanding you will allow me to hurt you more before my next cycle on the wheel.""Can you put enough friction on my drop off this balcony that I will be able to fight demons at the end?" you ask."Yes," the rat says, "but only because the means you will kill demons and suffer.""As long as it's not my daughter doing exactly that," you say, and take the step.Now you're on the ground.>Any allies I should know about?>Anythin' you can tell me about this demon?>Any good direction you can give me that won't get me killed?>Any WRITE IN?
>>2627358>Any allies I should know about?>Anythin' you can tell me about this demon?
>>2627358>Anythin' you can tell me about this demon?And keep the propaganda out
>>2627358>>Anythin' you can tell me about this demon?
>>2627358"Anythin' you can tell me about this demon?" you ask, hoping for some sort of tactical information."If you shoot it enough," the rat bastard says, "it dies."He doesn't think he giving you good info, but that's the best you could have.You CAN kill the demon.And that's what matters. You're here as a proxy for your daughter, for her 'team'.If you kill it, they don't have to fight it."So," you say, "any good info on how to kill it beyond 'shoot it in the face'?""I've got nothing," the rat telles you, "have fun, fuckface."Seems like he isn't going to be to helpful, and straight wants you to lose.Probably so he can go back to his cushy little life or mind-controlling your daughter and her friends,>Find the demon, and kill it>Find what allies you can>murder the little rodent
>>2627393>>Find what allies you can
>>2627393>Find the demon, and kill it>Choke the rodent
>>2627393>murder the little rodentThanks for the bullets, bye.Then>Find the demon, and kill it
>>2627397First voting post at 23:16 - voting closes at 23:36
>>2627393>Find the demon, and kill it
>>2627393>>murder the little rodentHe earned his noose.
>>2627393>Point our if we die our wife will come for her pound of flesh. How’d he like to be a liver farm?
>>2627404>>2627398don't kill the rat yet. we are in some slavic nation with no passport and probably just a shotgun. kill it AFTER we return home.
>>2627404then how will we come back to our house? go charter a plane and be in time for dinner?>SNAKE EATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>>2627393>Find the demon, and kill itDon't kill it, another one takes its fucking place and it would be less willing.
>>2627417I don't want to kill it yet, I just want to choke it out a bit.
>>2627393>>Find the demon, and kill it
>>2627393So you've been told the demon will die if you shoot it in the face enough.You've been told it with be at the center of the circle....And you're sure the rat is no help.So it's time to trudge on, toward the center.You're doing this for your girl after all.Your girl that is probably engaged in trying to murder her mother.But you've left them to sort out their differences. Hopefully that will end without the house becoming a tourist attraction.It's just 'girl talk' after all.There's a demon here, and you're going to find it and kill it.You choke the rodent in your pocket, just for kicks - and to make remember who holds its like in its hands. If you killed it, there woulds be another, that your couldn't even try to control. This one, you might have a chance with,So you walk among the brutalism, between the apartment buildings, until you reach the center.And then you see him - looks like he's the to control the demon, or bring it into himself.>Attack him>Attack the demon>Ask him what the flying Christ he's trying to do>WRITE INAnd give d100 rolls
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>2627440
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>2627440>Ask him what the flying Christ he's trying to do>inb4 its our brother
>>2627443What option are you taking for that roll?
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>2627440Dice!
>>2627440>>Ask him what the flying Christ he's trying to do
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>2627440>>Ask him what the flying Christ he's trying to do
>>2627440>>Aim at the summoner>Do anything that isn't dispelling the demon and i'll shoot you.
>>2627446Forgot to vote this >Ask him what the flying Christ he's trying to do
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>2627440
>>2627440> THROW THE RAT AT YHE DEMON TO DISTRACT ITBoo, go for the eyes!
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>2627440Also shoot the demons kneecapsIn demon circles, this is known as diplomacy. We can
>>2627440"What the flying Christ are you trying to do?" you shout at this guy. He's wearing a snappy red suit, so perhaps he's important?Maybe he just has an impaired fashion sense."I'm," he says, through labored breathing, "binding this demon to me. Using the Soviet setup that called him here. Otherwise, he'd rampage through everything on this continent!"Binding the demon?The huge things that's towering in the center of the apartment complexes, with its six wings spread?As in, bending it to his will?That's, uh, one way to deal with them. Maybe."Don't disrupt the circle," he says, "or my concentration!">Did you summon it?>If you bind it, will you use it?>[just kneecap the demon]>WRITE IN
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>2627440>Ask him what the flying Christ he's trying to do>BROOOOOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRjust like my metal gear
>>2627465let him finish the binding, then when he is gloating and distracted, shoot him in the head.
>>2627465>>If you bind it, will you use it?If NO then>[just kneecap the demon]
also, where are the soviet magical girls? are they getting drunk in vodka again? or are they bringing the magical tanks?
>>2627465Backing this >>2627468>>2627473IN soviet russia, Vodka is power of slav
>>2627465>>If you bind it, will you use it?
>>2627467First voting post, 20min, as per usual (unless it's a foregone conclusion), 23:47 - 00:07>>2627473>where are the soviet magical girls?The People's Magical Girls are doubtless posing for propaganda photoshoots.
>>2627465>>[just kneecap the demon]
>>2627465>[just kneecap the demon]>WRITE INBind the demon to the squirrel! Fuck him!
>>2627465>how much time do you need? >>2627479bet they have frilly adidas tracksuits
>>2627465"If you bind it," you yell at him, "will you use it?""Fuck no!" he yells at you, "I'll drain its power until it can't exist on this plane. I'm surprised you're even here, not knowing how that works! Are you even a Magus?"Then you kneecap the demon, twice. Tendons snap, blasted in half by your shotgun.It falls to its knees, bellowing. Even those six wings can't hold it aloft. You see the demon diminishing in size as its energy drains, until it's almost the size of the squirrel.Then it vanishes with a pop, and the red-suited 'magus' stops sweating and swearing."I've got to thank you," the man in the red suit says, "I probably couldn't have handled one that size by myself. Are you a contractor?">Yes>Contractor?>I thought only women could use magic>It's good to see another magus out here>Who the hell are you?
>>2627506fuck it guys can be wizards, operation wizard dad is a go:>Contractor?>I thought only women could use magic
>>2627506>I thought only women could use magic>Who the hell are you?
>>2627506I'm a concerned father
>>2627506>>I thought only women could use magic>Who the hell are you?
>>2627506>nah, i just have my bitch rat enchant shells>how does all that stuff works anyway?>how about we grab a drink somewhere to talk more about it?
>>262751200:13 - 00:33 and all that, although I may call it early, since voting population is low at these times
>>2627506>I thought only women could use magic>I'm just here to kill demons
>>2627506Pull out the rodent by the neck."So. Only women can use magic, eh? Would you care to revise that?"
>>2627506>>It's good to see another magus out here>Write-In>Introduce ourselvesalso>Torture the everloving fuck out of that ferret he fucking lied to us what is he planning making us go half around the world
>Write-In >Introduce ourselves also >Torture the everloving fuck out of that ferret he fucking lied to us what is he planning making us go half around the world
>>2627506what's even going on at this point.
>>2627514>>2627506This + >I thought only women could use magic> Ask for help with the shit-ratHonestly, it's probably some fucked up otaku from a previous life and we should pop a cap in it right now. Probably perving on our daughter.
>>2627514>I like this too actually.
>>2627558yeah i mean he's a japanese salary man in his previous life he is probably perving from our daughter.IN ONE YEAR REMEMBER ONE YEAR!!We must protect what's left of our daughter purity maybe we can salvage whatever is left.
>>2627506"I thought only women could use magic," you tell him."Another one that got taken in by the rats," he says, taking a rather impressive swan dive off the building."They're not EXACTLY wrong," he says, landing on his feet somehow, "but it's just that their sort of magic only works for women. They can't form a contract with men.""However," he says, slicing what looks like a black hole into space with his cane, "there are other things that work for us. Contracts, for one. Borrowed magic, as commoners call it. And I can see that you have a VERY strong contract.""Who the hell are you?" you ask, before he makes his exit."I'm T.T.," he says, tossing you a business card. It flies through the air and alights perfectly on your palm....It actually just says "T.T." and a phone number. In gilt print.Gilt. Fucking. Print.Who does that?"There's more to this world than you or I know." he says, turning toward you in front of the portal, "hopefully we can meet up for drinks someday," he say, and then thinks a second before stepping through the throbbing hole in space-time, "who are you? You were damn helpful back there, and I wish I'd had you around at Tunguska.">I'm a concerned father>I'm a guy that has a rat to torture>I'm nobody in particular, just happened along with some magic shotgun shells>WRITE IN
>>2627568>Just a pissed off father, killing one retarded ass critter at a time.
>>2627568>I'm a concerned father
>>2627568>>I'm a concerned father..... are we getting magical powers from being married to a demon? Marriage is kind of like a contract .....
>>2627568>I'm a concerned father>Say, would a wedding count as that sort of contract?>Give him our phone number?
>>262757200:41 - 01:01 standard.As usual, if something seems to be an overblowingly popular option before then, I'll start writing earlier.
>>2627568>>I'm a concerned father
>>2627568I'll support >>2627586
>>2627568>>2627586ThisIf were been married to our wife for 10 years maybe we picked up some stuff through osmosis or something
>>2627568>Mind giving me a lift?
>>2627568>>I'm a concerned father> > Hey, if you want to pay me back for the help, I could use an expert opinion while I torture the shit out of this rat that is fucking with my daughter.
>I'm a concerned father>Say, would a wedding count as that sort of contract?>Give him our phone number?
>>2627568Also> So who do I complain to about the Rats, or how do I kill them for good?
>>2627599i like this and its getting my vote.
>>2627586yea this im all board on this
>>2627568Seconding:>>2627599Are we gonna do the japanese business card thing?
>>2627568"I'm a concerned father," you say, looking the self-proclaimed 'magus' dead in the eye, "and out of curiosity, would a wedding count at that sort of contract?"The man in the red suit paces back and forth a couple of times, then realizes he's in for the long haul and does something with his staff that you don't quite catch.The space-time continuum loses one wedgie."It could," he says, after pondering, and pacing a little more, "if you were married to a supernatural creature."And then it hits him, and his facade disintegrates."Holy shit," he says, grabbing you by the shoulders, "you managed to pull a yuki-onna? A kitsune? A fuckin' Oni? A ghost? What is she, and how the hell did you do it?""Not that I'm interested on my own account," he tells you, calming down a little, "I'm quite happily married and have two lovely daughters - want to see this picture with them?""Don't show me the picture," you tell him, "the guys that flashes the picture of who they're going home to dies first in every war movie. And I'm pretty sure we're in a war."He takes a sidelong look at you after that one, and after a minute says "you're quite perceptive. Not many people know we're fighting a war right now. And I don't mean a desert we send our sons to to forge them. From what you've said, it sounds like the rats got into your family."He waits a bit to get a response.>No, they haven't>Any tips on dealing with them - permanently?>Afraid they'll get at your daughters one day?>[Say Nothing]>Write in
>>2627630>Any tips on dealing with them - permanently?>how do you keep them away from yours
>>2627630>>Any tips on dealing with them - permanently?
>>2627630> No shit. Any tips on dealing with them? As much as I'd love to just give it the old buckshot solution, I'm worried about potential fallout for my own daughter.Hrm. Didn't we also accidentally let a demon go earlier too?
>>2627638I didn't mean to spoil that!Sorry.
>>2627643>Didn't we also accidentally let a demon go earlier too?More like let this guy eat a demon.Not really sure if that's a good or bad thing.
>>2627630>Any tips on dealing with them - permanently?>Afraid they'll get at your daughters one day?>Also, for the record, shes a kitsune
>>2627630>Any tips on dealing with them - permanently?>Afraid they'll get at your daughters one day?
>>2627647probably a good thing, odds are likely this guys gonna be our magic bro so far.
Maybe the demon got her raging ladyboner and some admiration because she probably saw how we fucking tame one of the strongest Demon.....probably
>>2627643this guy has a good answer, i'm seconding this.
>>2627638>>2627644I may be missing something.Also is our wife a demon or a kitsune. Cause technically the second one is not a demon if I remember right.
>>2627630"Any tips on dealing with them - permanently?" you ask.He looks at you grimly, and says "nothing that doesn't rely on a power on their level being benevolent to you. There are some demons that could break those contracts, but..." he stares into the distance for a bit, "you'd have to convince them that you held their lives in your hand."You stare right into his eyes, and he tries to look away, but can't. It's a dad thing."Yes," he finally says, "one of my daughters is contracted to them."You strike out on a limb - "so that's why you're out here in Eastern Europe draining demons dry?" you ask.The tables are completely turned. You can see it in his eyes. He may know more magic than you, but you've gotten the secret that matters to him."What do you want?" he growls.>Definitely not to blackmail you>How does male magic work?>Just to go for a drink sometime - looks like you could go to any bar in the world>WRITE IN
>>2627666>Just to go for a drink sometime - looks like you could go to any bar in the worldTime to regain the SAN points.
>>2627666>>Just to go for a drink sometime - looks like you could go to any bar in the world
>>2627666>Write-In>I'm sorry for that>But on the bright side *hefts that fucking ferret* here is the *contractor* of my daughter
>>2627666>Definitely not to blackmail you>Just to go for a drink sometime - looks like you could go to any bar in the world
>>2627666>tfw the daughter is not!Homura since its black hairNo her daughter is that blueberry who wants to hump us all over our body inside and outside
>>2627664>technically the second one is not a demon if I remember right"Youkai" is a term that encompasses a lot of things in Japanese culture that would be termed 'demons' in other cultures.Kitsune are a type of youkai.Guess which interpretation our Psychopathic Squirrels go with.That's why the idea of being 'from here, not from there' comes into play with them. They're supernatural entities, but they're native ones.>>262766901:38 - 01:58 voting period, unless it's definitely decided before then
>>2627666>>Just to go for a drink sometime - looks like you could go to any bar in the world>>2627680Kinda figured that was probably what was happening. You know the rats need to better define local supernatural entities to the magical girls so they dont kill wrong ones. Out of curiosity how big a supernatural world we talking here?
>>2627666"Just, uh," you say, not used to dealing with powerful magi, "going for a drink sometime. Looks like you could use one, and you could teleport to and bar in the world.""You want to do it tonight?" he asks, rather brusquely. Definitely a man who likes keeping short accounts.>Yeah, lets go to somewhere near my place>Yeah, let;' go somewhere crazy>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card.
>>2627689>Out of curiosity how big a supernatural world we talking here?Pretty good chance of encountering that guy at the crossroads who wants to know if you play a better fiddle than him.
>>2627690>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card.
>>2627690>>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card.
>>2627690>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card.Best to make sure that our wife and daughter haven't killed each other
>>26276941:50 - 2:10 voting period, unless things seem to be virtually unanimous before them
>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card>Also can you drop me near at my home.>>2627690
>>2627690>>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card>>2627693sooo, we should practice playing the fiddle or keeping our shotgun close by.
i propose that our wife should teach us some magic
>>2627707probably not a bad plan in all honesty.
>>2627690Seems like the vote is to return (presumably via ratface/Freebles) to the house.And I am completely done at this point. Almost falling asleep in my chair.There's a good chance I'll pick the thread back up tomorrow mornig - notifications on Twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge
>>2627713m8 this is a fun quest, good luck m8.
>>2627707>>2627712 We should probably check in with the in-laws even if we can learn magic from the wife. It might not just be wife giving power through the marriage contract. Depending on the terms (say if we married into her family) and who we might be Inari's (i.e. Fox God(dess)) son-in-law.
>>2627713Thanks for running!I am . . . unsure about using ratface for transport.Maybe we should invite dude-bro to come meet the wife since he seems interested, also to give us a ride.Nobody wants to snoop around for loot or evidence about the original demon summoning?Because I feel that is relevant to our interests.
>>2627643>>2622817> Still, you manage to look over her heaving shoulder straight into the eyes of the quivering demoness and mouth "GO. NOW. DON'T COME BACK."> Sometimes, in your darker moments, you wish you could get that look of abject subjugation and compliance from the women in your life.I'm TOTALLY SURE this won't be a problem later.
>>2627752Now watch as the Demon wants to be our second wife/mistress or second daughteru. And we'll have to stop fights between our biological descendant and our newly adopted descendant.
>>2627752Goddamnit how are we going to dad our way through all of this bullshit! >>2627753Okay, look at this point we are taking numbers, unfortunately we have already been married so we can't take any more wives. We can however dispense head-pats instead of dickings. Honestly considering how sexy our wife is, I dont see these girls offering us much. We can always add more adopted daughters I guess. >Sigh>Get the handwarmers boys we got a huge amount of warm headpats to give
>>2627713Thanks for running.I can somehow see this entire quest as viable for some 16-bit, heavy-on-plot-side-scrolling-action-platformer treatment. And one of the key mechanics being a timer before Melon and Gang get on the scene to kill the demon. Ending depends on how many of the demon bosses the girls land a kill on. If they get them all then it's BAD END.
>Demon:So what's your magical schtick old man?>MC: The magic of Remington and the power of love.
>>2627941>Demon: So what's your magical schtick old man>MC: There is a reason this girl calls me daddy....>Demon: Uhh... wha.. that is LEWD>MC: ITS BECAUSE I AM HER FATHER!>Shotgun noises>Demon:C-could you be my daddy too?>MC: *Headpat*
>>2627941The power of loving a Remington.Maybe with some luck we can get some loaner weaponry from the Homu expy.
>>2627644>>2627638Confused as to what this spoils at all
>>2627941> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pFriRcIwqNU#Never mind once we find the golden FAL and go full Rhodesian Cat Girls.
>>2628014Obviously one of his daughters has blue hair.
>>2628061i bet the daughter was the quiet one.
>>2628061His wife is an oni and his kids are the red and blue meguca.
>>2628113. . . I like the aptness of it. I wonder if the fucking rat is actively seeking out these kids to make them into MG.New Quest Goal! Gather together Demonic Army to storm the gates and demand our kids back. SKULLS FOR THE HEAD-PATS! PB&J FOR THE LUNCH GODS! OUR FOREARMS SHALL BE WELL DEFINED AS THEY CHOKE A BITCH OUT.
>>2628123> When you work with your hands
>>2628129> We can get more Dad likeHoly shit does a lot of gay porn come up for Dad Works With Hands
>>2628123what the hell are you talking about?
>>2627862> Force our daughter to share her room with the demon girlShe didn't have a the advantages you did growing up! We didn't raise you to be selfish when someone in need reached out. She's trying hard to change herself, and if she doesn't there's always the shotgun . . . Goddamnit look how messed up she is, she got the same ladyboner look in her eyes as your one creepy friend. Yes she IS creepy, no, no you know that's not normal . . . I swear to God if you keep insisting that she isn't fucked in the head from that contract rat I'll start cleaning my gun whenever she comes over. . . Oh NOW you you admit it's creepy and gross how she acts, imagine how I feel dealing with an edgy teenager trying to prove something all up in my business. I got things to do, you know, this house doesn't hold itself together especially with you popping off magic sparkle bombs at your mom when she catches you out on your BS. Don't think I didn't notice that, I just trust you and your Mom to work it out because you love each other.
>>2628158It's going to be like a Harem, but mostly us just constantly taking care of our Daughter and her peers because we don't know how to NOT fix broken things we pick up off the road. It's a red neck compulsion. Trucks, dogs, kids, it's just what a man does for his community. Feed 'em, let them crash under your roof, and tune up any trashbag taking advantage of them with a little bit of the good old percussion maintenance.
>>2628181>>2628167...i think you need to take a breather outside of your house, man.
>>2628167> Force our daughter to share her room with the demon girlI think that'd be adorable
>>2627690"No," you tell him, "I've got to get back to my family. I'm sure you can understand.""Of course," he says, with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, "I can sympathize with that. Can't spend every night cracking open a hot one with the boys, can you?"If this is his idea of a fun night sober, you're not really sure you ever want to see him wasted, you think, watching him give space-time a wedgie with that cane."If it matters," he says, looking straight at you, "taking that thing down saved a lot of people. The Soviets created some awful things, but apartment blocks designed to summon demons and supply them a 'food source' are one of the worst."Then he walks through the portal."Alright," you say, "home, Jenkins.""My name is Freebles!" the rat squeaks."It's a joke," you tell it, "get used to them. Now get us home."Suddenly, the world twists again, and you can feel the anger of space-time as the rat pulls its underpants over its head.You get back to a scene of:>Your wife and daughter destroying your house in a sea of magical fury>Your wife and daughter hugging in your daughter's bed>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaning>Write in
>>2628200>Your wife and daughter destroying your house in a sea of non-magical furyMum won't let the daughter go out.Also it's really jarring to play "choose your own adventure" because I feel like it removes any agency from the characters themselves. It's like playing chess against yourself. Zero tension.
>>2628200>>Your wife and daughter hugging in your daughter's bed
>>2628200...you mothefucker.>Your wife and daughter destroying your house in a sea of magical and non magical fury
>>2628200>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaning
>>2628200 >Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaning
>>2628200>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaningNANI?!
>>2628211First voting post at 10:18 - voting stops at 10:38>>2628218>>2628223>>2628230>>2628232I probably shouldn't have given that option
>>2628234well, too bad. now they are fucking.
>>2628200>>Your wife and daughter hugging in your daughter's bed>>2628211Agreed. Especially with all the anons picking the incest option.
>>2628234It's 4chan manYou shouldn't give any option that involves incest>>Your wife and daughter hugging in your daughter's bed
>>2628241>>2628211now just wait until the anons begin to get REAL creative with the write in option. We're gonna hit /d/ levels in no time
>>2628232>>2628230>>2628223>>2628218there is something fucky going on with all of these 1 posters going with the same option voting almost 1 minute after the other
>>2628200>>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaningYour wife needed to use succubutt powers to calm down your daughter after she got suicidal after trying to commit matricide
>>2628200>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaning It's actually all just me samefagging anyways.I felt it was a more appropriate way to showcase why having a straight up totally open sandbox is a bad idea.Like. It will fuck the quest sooner or later when Anons ACTUALLY pick an out of character / retard joke or fetish option and then you have either the wonderful world of retcons a la Hollow Quest Redux or the hot shit mess that is Handlers playerbase demanding every entitled "lol so random" be met without any consequence and a million rerolls fir their Mary sue fetish bait bullshit.> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zVH79lFQaHM#Caught Up Anon you are the condensed garbage of every terrible quest vote and I fucking hate you. "Hurr durr we need to reroll even inconsequential failures because I feel embarrassed when the MC is embarrassed and I can't handle even the smallest of failures in a game because my life is one big failure".Sorry. Going through some things right now and that's leaking through.But seriously I samefagged the shit out of that vote.I just really do like your writing so far, but I've been hurt before.
>>2628218>>2628223>>2628232>>2628237Yeah just discount these votes. IDK why I even thought that would be clever and not just dickish. I've been awake for a VERY long time.
>>2628250Eh I'm probably going to just drop before it gets too that point. I signed up for dad ruining his daughters magical girl shenanigans, not dad ruining his daughters magical girl pussy.
>>2628200>Your wife and daughter hugging in your daughter's bedYou can still stop this madness QM.
>>2628243>>2628241>>2628217>>2628211Find Wife and daughter hugging in bed among a house that has been both magically and non-magically destroyed? The worked their shit out, with some minor and a bit of major property damage sound like a decent compromise?
>>2628274I'm fine with that.
>>2628274That sounds great
>>2628274I'll third that that.
This looks like the vote tallies:House destruction:>>2628211>>2628217Hugs:>>2628212>>2628241>>2628243>>2628273You know, that one option:>>2628218>>2628223>>2628230>>2628232>>2628237>>2628261Wait warmly, samefags are preparing.
>>2628278Smashed dishes, overturned tables, smoking holes in the walls, strange glow coming from the shrubbery in the backyard as it writhes and *twists* both in a wind that isn't blowing as well as in and out if your vision while definitely still being *somewhere* even when your eyes insist that there's nothing to be seen where it is?
>>2628264>Handlers playerbase demanding every entitled "lol so random" be met without any consequence and a million rerolls fir their Mary sue fetish bait bullshit.he has more quests other than the magical girl crossover right now?
>>2628291Man, sounds like an awful lot of dad projects out there.
After all the work we had to leave this family "normal" againSome samefag are going to turn this in a incest? Come on guys
>>2628292There's the "everyone is a monster girl" fetish quest, the "Magical Monster Girl fetish quest, the "succubus successor 5o Assassin School" monstergirl fetish quest, and the Isekai monstergirl fetish quest.Aw shit I meant Headmaster not Handler. Handler is cool and his player base is real and heterosexual.
>>2628298This is why we need to adopt more magical girls, demons, cyber-lolis, whatever.Make them learn the value of honest work, pride in your home, and a lush and healthy lawn.Like that Blue haired girl. We gotta redirect all that pent up energy into something healthy like fixing up an old '76 Camaro.
>>2628311she could even infuse it with magic, so it uses way less gallons per mile.
>>2628318Or it fuels up on the energy of the defeated demons!
>>2628299I did this.I'm only so.ewhat sorry.
>Your wife and daughter hugging in your daughter's bed
>>2628200You appear in the front hall of your house, the rat secured in your pocket.This was not what you'd expected to see, but you probably should have.You left with your daughter trying to kill your wife. Left, in a way that dates back to the cavemen - go hang out with another dad while the women sort through their stuff.You just hadn't expected the sorting to be so VIOLENT.It's a lot worse than the times you and your father sorted things out.The potted plants are smashed, earth and flowers spilling out on the floor. A few of the tiles in the entryway are broken. Pictures are - god, you really liked that one picture too. At best their glass is smashed, and at worst the canvasses were ripped apart.Oh, and then there are the scorch marks and bullet holes. Bullet holes? You pick up the pace, heading toward the odd noises you hear from further in.It looks like two dynamos of destruction rampaged through your house. Lots of family projects here.You're tempted to say, cynically, that they're dad projects, but when someone makes a mess in this family, god, they are going to help clean it up!It'll be bonding time. And god knows this family needs to bond.Finally, you make it to your daughter's room, walking through a hallway that will need all its sheetrock replaced....almost looks like someone's head got slammed into the wall in a couple places.Then you seen them on the bed.Your wife.Your daughter.Your wife is moaning slightly, her clothes ripped, bruises and abrasions covering every inch of her that you can see.And with those ripped clothes, you can see a lot.Your daughter is not doing much better. she might have gone frilly, but her frills are in tatters.And your wife has your daughter's head between her legs in a triangle choke. [Image is now relevant]...while she's hugging her with those fluffy tails. You can almost see the love in the way they caress your daughter, even if she doesn't want the affection.You're really not sure what to say, and they're both concentrated on each other.>Just stand and watch>"So, good talk?">"The female of the species really is deadlier than the male">"Does this mean I can't tell the doctor I 'feel safe in my own home' anymore?">Write in
>>2628332>>"So, good talk?">>"Does this mean I can't tell the doctor I 'feel safe in my own home' anymore?"QM, you fucker.
>>2628332>>"So, good talk?"Had me worried for a moment.
>>2628332>"So, i guess she hasn't calmed down yet?">"Should i go grab the first aid kit or are you both ok?" wonderfully played, qm
>>2628332>"So, good talk?">"Does this mean I can't tell the doctor I 'feel safe in my own home' anymore?"
>>2628332WE HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED!Step 1: Secure Rat. This is probably his fetish.Step 2: Repress any possibility of this being our fetish.Step three: Audible sigh of disappointment combined.Step four: Ask if your Wife and Daughter want to go out for Ice Cream instead of dealing with the trashed house, or if your daughter would prefer to get choked out first and sent to bed without ice cream at all. Just us and the Wife will have Ice Crean in that case. We might even eat some of it.Honestly not sure why we tried to handle this without ice cream in the first place. That's like Magical Girl brainwashing hack 101 right there. Oh right we aren't a weeb.Still. That plus instinctive "Ew Gross" factor of parents flirting should snap out daughter into sullen acceptance of cold treats and wholesome family bonding
>>2628334>QM, you fucker.We've all been hurt before. >>2628264 , I feel you.I just want to make sure nobody gets hurt too badly today.First voting post at 10:57 - voting ends 11:07.
>>2628332>"So, good talk?"
>>2628332>>"So, good talk?"
>>2628332>"So, good talk?"You got me good there Haiku, bravo.
>>2628332You clear your throat, and they turn their heads toward you, slightly shocked.Well, your wife turns toward you. Your daughter's head is... constrained."So," you ask, in your dadliest voice, "good talk?""The best we've had in a while," you wife says, with a twinge of pain, "Also the most honest."Well, that's good. Who cares about property damage when the family's at stake?"Does this mean I have to say 'No' when the doctor asks me if I feel safe in my own home?" you ask, very innocently.Your wife laughs, and uncrosses her legs. Your daughter falls forward on the bed, gasping for breath, then snuggles up to your wife. The tails encircle them both."You should feel more safe with two people like us on your side, daddy," she says, "nobody sane would try to get in here!""I was just teaching her a submission hold," your wife says, looking at you with eyes that you feel you have to try looking away from, just to prove you can, "we finished up our DISCUSSION a while ago."You did manage to look away from those eyes for a second, then locked your gaze back with hers.She starts laughing. "That's why I married you!" she says, "now are you going to give us a scolding about what we did to the house?">Give scolding [write in scolding particulars]>No, but you two are going to have to help repair it>Go off about your favorite painting getting ripped in half>Just hug them
>>2628381>No, but you two are going to have to help repair it>Just hug themSo wholesome it becomes a sexual fetish.
>>2628381>>Just hug them
>>2628381>>Go off about your favorite painting getting ripped in half>IT WAS A FUCKING MASTERPIECE! Even if i won it in the job's christmas giveaway, it gave me hope and happiness everyday! Even on the darkest ones!
>>2628381>No, but you two are going to have to help repair it>Just hug them
>>2628381hug themmention needing to punish mom in private in a way that daughter hopefully doesn't pick up on. "We'll need to figure out what to do about the damages in private"
>>2628381>Go off about your favorite painting getting ripped in halfand this, totally >>2628392
>>2628386First voting post at 11:24 - voting closes at 11:44I started this quest to do a little experimentation, and I like how timing votes off of the first post is working so far.
>>2628400Yeah it's keeping a pretty decent pace. Making sure that it doesn't remain a slog.
>>2628400yeah i like it too
>>2628381> Just hug themPat daughters head and wifes bum.> So, there's magic for fixing all this up, right? . . . . Right?
>>2628381 #>No, but you two are going to have to help repair it>Just hug them
>>2628410> So, there's magic for fixing all this up, right? . . . . Right?that's a great thing to add
>>2628381>>No, but you two are going to have to help repair it>>Just hug themThe cuddlepile. Greatest joy of a family man.
>>2628381>No, but you two are going to have to help repair itAnd with no magic ether
>>2628381"No," you say, diving into the bed and giving the two of them a bear hug, "but the two of you are going to help repair it."One of your hands tousles your daughter's hair, and the other one somehow finds its way to your wife's ass.They both give you very different looks.And then you daughter notices where your other hand is, and looks scandalized as hell."He my DAD!" she says to your wife."And I'm your mother," your wife says, "you do know that's why you're here, right? I'm sure your school couldn't have been THAT lacking in their sex ed, but we could give," she smiles with an absolutely predatory grin, "some home tutoring."The look on your daughter's face is priceless, and your wife bursts out into a barking laugh."I'm not joking," you say, fixing both of them with a stare, "you made this mess, and you're both going to help repair it. We're going to do this as a family.""And yes, young lady," you say, patting your daughter's head, "that does mean you'll be taking a few days off school.""And away from your friends," her mother adds, "I'm really not sure they've been a good influence."Well, you agree with that.>Go to the school to get a few days' of vacation for your daughter>Ask the wife about another trip to the in-laws, sometime soon>MONTAGE SEQUENCE OF HOME REPAIR>Try to get a quiet moment with your wife for a private conversation>Write in
>>2628449>Try to get a quiet moment with your wife for a private conversationNo more secrets right?
>>2628449>>MONTAGE SEQUENCE OF HOME REPAIR
>>2628449>Try to get a quiet moment with your wife for a private conversation
>>2628449>MONTAGE SEQUENCE OF HOME REPAIRCUE UP THAT 80's MUSIC BOYS!
>>262845111:58 - 12:08, you know the drill.And I hope you don't know the 'dryl
>>2628449>Ask the wife about another trip to the in-laws, sometime soonGuys, before Home Repair comes fixing our daughters situation.I can't wait to see the Rats face when we pull it out in front of a bunch of foxes.Anyone ever really think about the phrase "Fox in a henhouse"? They're vicious little sociopaths at heart. And I bet the Rat will figure that out right quick when they find out what he did to their grandkid.Fixing her shit is probably beyond him, but we can use him to get at his boss. Besides if he's a magical Japanese salaryman he probably hates his Boss, and odds are he has an M fetish as well so a life of being bullied by sexy foxes is probably best end for him.
>>2628449>>MONTAGE SEQUENCE OF HOME REPAIRPlay the music, boys.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFrMLRQIT_k
>>2628449>Ask the wife about another trip to the in-laws, sometime soon>MONTAGE SEQUENCE OF HOME REPAIR
>>2628449Also> Home Repair MontageJust in case of a tie I'll vote for this> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KVYHAAy9CwY
>>2628449> Dad vs Demons> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qw0vnyVYurQAight gnight yall
>>2627506>Mind giving me lessons if I give you this Contract Rat?
>>2628485Well, I feel sheepish. Definitely should have refreshed the page first.
>>2628449Securing a few days off school for your daughter for a 'family vacation' is a little paperwork nightmare.But you blast through it.She needs it.And your journey through the PTO system of your accounting firm is even more nightmarish.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btPJPFnesV4...Can that rat actually just pull music out of nowhere? Cheesy eighties montage music blares as you show your daughter how to use a jigsaw.Rising up, back in the hallway.You've done your time, taken your chances.Just a man and his will to remodel.And your wife's will to connect with her daughter.And your daughter's will to really get to know the parents she'd taken for granted her whole life, and realize that they're actually people too.You do the distance, now you're back on your feet.You haven't changed your dreams for glory, you think, hefting a cut piece of sheetrock.It's the eye of the fox, driving the screws into the wall, and the eye of your daughter, it's the will of a family putting their house back together.You don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past, building them back into the present.Rising up to the challenge of your rival, and the sheetrock dust.The last known survivors (of a home remodeling project).Learning the skill to survive.Rising up, straight to the top, have the mop, and the glory.Those few days flash past too fast, the education of your daughter and wife on power tools, the little arguments about what paint colors to use, the arguments you give up two sentences in about interior decorating - it goes too fast.You've never seen those expressions on your daughter's face before.This is a real family togetherness thing. And you'd never have thought fox tails could make such effective paintbrushes....Of course, you had to brush and clean them out afterward, but it was entirely worth it.After the vacation days and the weekend, the three of you looked back at an utterly restored and cleaned house.It was totally worth it.Worth it just to see the expression on your daughter's face, as she realized she could build, not just break.>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show up>Then you grab your wife for a private conversation>Of course, you have to go back to work on Monday>WRITE IN
>>2628501>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show up
>>2628501>>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show upTHE PLOT THICKENS
>>2628501>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show up.>In swimsuits.>God dammit.
>>2628501>Then you grab your wife for a private conversation>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show upBonus points if the second happens in the middle of the first.
>>2628501>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show upAs much as I want that private conversation with the wife, her friends are probably wondering where she's been.
>>2628501my sides, that was amazing this: >>2628508
>>262850512:32 - 12:52, unless there's a clear winner before that. You know the drill.>>2628511>my sides, that was amazingI write better home remodeling montages than incest montages - trust me.
>>2628501>>Of course, you have to go back to work on MondayAccounting Simulator 2018.
>>2628501> And suddenly, your daughter's friends show upOh look, more helping hands!
>>2628501>Of course, you have to go back to work on Mondaygotta earn(and count) those dollars, man
Fucking asshole daughters friends.
>>2628543We have our wife for that. No need to involve them.
>>2628501So you're in the living room, moving the couch a few inches to the right for the umpteenth time, under the strangely precise eye of your wife....an eye that's startlingly colorblind. But you should have expected that.You apparently married a fox, after all.Then you hear voices from out front. The windows are open so the paint can air out.Your daughter was out front, sanding and staining kitchen cabinet fronts, you remember, as the tone of angry voices filters in through the window.Local toughs? Bad dudes (bad enough to rescue the president)? Demons? Magical squirrels? - the possibilities flash through your mind, until you notice your wife looking out the window and giggling.But trying to hide it with a hand. She beckons you, and you walk over.Looks like your daughters friends, the magical girl friends, have shown up.And your daughter is arguing with them.Your little Melon is arguing with them?You're proud. It's an improvement over last time they were around.>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen>Steal a kiss from your wife>Go out front and tell those kids to get off your lawn>Go out front and back your daughter up>WRITE IN
>>2628562>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listenI trust our Melon to do the right thing, or call for us if neccessary.
>>2628548We really should put another baby in our wife when this is all said and done.>>2628562>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listenOnly jump out if things aren't going our daughteru's way and they try to get physical with her.
>>262856513:00 - 13:20, unless there's a clear winner and voting seems to have died down.You know the drill.>>2628548That's a fucking great pun.
>>2628562>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen
>>2628562>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen>Steal a kiss from your wife
>>2628568How many private sessions do we have to do with our wife before we make a baby sibling for our Melon?
>>2628562>>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen>>Steal a kiss from your wife
>>2628562>>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listenGet the shotgun ready in case they try something.
>>2628562>>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen
>>2628562>Grab the shotgun and squirrel and peep out the door to see what's happening
>>2628562>Go out front and back your daughter up
>>2628582Honestly not sure whether kitsune follow canine estrus cycles (going into heat) or human 'period' cycles.So really no clue.TL Note: "no clue" is QM-speak for "I'll pull it out of my back pocket to fuck with you sometime later"
>>2628597>TL Note: "no clue" is QM-speak for "I'll pull it out of my back pocket to fuck with you sometime later"I'm beginning to love you QM.
>>2628562> WRITE INNarrate the commentary to have them be arguing about the recent Vegas Golden Knights performance in the playoffs.
>>2628597Or, you could go this route.
>>2628585>>2628592Also make sure the Squirrel can't interfere.
>>2628609I run EVERYTHING off of "IT JUST WORKS".
>>2628614But QM, this> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oXcwYgoGR0E#Is how foxes work.Why would I post this when you need to write? I dunno.
>>2628621>That enlarged preview shotUh Jim, what am I looking at here?...
>>2628628Yandere that crosses dimensions, Anon> It's not a bug, it's a featureYou can skip to 14:00 to get to the meat of the issue.
>>2628634So what does that have to do with this>"The person I love is a few centimeters above me, putting their mouth on another girl's vagina and sucking out another man's semen." Can I get an explanation about that?
>>2628562Standing with your wife at the window and listening seems like a good idea.She certainly thinks it's funny.And.. honestly, you're inclined to think that too.Little Melon should be in her school's debate club, if she's not already.She's dancing artfully around "my mom's what you'd call a demon" and "you know I could call my dad to amputate another two limbs?", but doing it in such a way that the implication is there.Pink hair - Mary, right? has arguments and questions circling around that first point. She's driving in at why Marion's suddenly gained a seeming love, or at least acceptance for 'demons'.Marion's fending them off with philosophical ideas - buddhism and taoism flowing from her tongue like water."She's a little better with her words than we ever were,&quo