You know, there are nightmares every father has.Those ones during your wife's pregnancy where you and she think she'll give birth to a varmit (and when she has 'em, ya gotta try to comfort her that she won't have a fox cub, or if she does, it'll be super cute).Going along in years, those where yer' kid's kidnapped. And that's, you know, I just don't want to think about it.Or the ones where your kid's bullied. And honestly, that's something you couldn't even help if they were being bullied. Just not enough evidence to slam into ms. Smolgenmeither's teeth.Then you get to puberty, and your kid bringin' back someone who seems an incredibly bad idea.Frankly, you are still amazed anyone thought you were a good enough idea that you could get with your wife, let alone her. Once you screwed up your courage to ask her, you were floored she seemed willing, and even more floored when her family was cool with it (and your later marriage).So now you're an accountant, married to the girl of your dreams, with whom you've have a great little girl, and you're sitting in a study, closing up a few things late at night in preparation for the workday, and this little furball smashes in through the window."'Scuse me," it says, very disoriented (and HOW much had that window cost you? - more importantly, how much was it insured for?) "is this Marion's room?""Hey," you tell it, grabbing its little furry neck off the carpet - > "The fuck are you doing in my house, on the second story?"> "Why the hell is a screwy looking squirrel talkin' to me?"> "You know my daughter's name is Marion?"> -WRITE IN-
>>2622184> "Why the hell is a screwy looking squirrel talkin' to me?"> "You know my daughter's name is Marion?"
>>2622184>"Aw, Nah. Not you again. Yah gots my sister killed you squirrelly varmit, I am not letting ya take my daughter too." Go look for your shotgun.
>>2622184>> "You know my daughter's name is Marion?"
>>2622210You're in at 21:07Votes will be taken taken until 21:27 for this post.20 votes, 20 min (or so writing), and I still love write-ins!
>>2622184>"You know my daughter's name is Marion?"
>>2622222I mean to say, 20mins for votes after the first voting post, etc. Sorry!
>>2622213+1Best to but it down before it starts talking
>>2622184>> "The fuck are you doing in my house, on the second story?"
This isn't gonna turn into some Madoka Magika shit, right? Is this Sailor Moon or Sailor Nothing?
>>2622184>Snap its neck
>>2622184"Look," you say, holding the little rat thing at arms length, as you angle around the room for a shotgun, "somethin' like you got my sister killed, and I'm not about to let ys do the same thing too my daughter."It looks cowed, as you hold it by the scruff of the neck, while you find the hunting shotgun against the wall in back of you.You usually use that gun for clay pigeons, not little magical ferrets, but you're pretty sure it'll cause this guy some pain."Do you feel lucky, punk?" you say, grabbing the shotgun with one hand, "do ya? I've got a hell of lot of questions about why you're on the second story of my place, and why you look so much like that thing my sister had coming into her room right before she died so awfully."It kinda whimpers in your hand. You cock the hunting shotgun with one hand, pumping it like Schwarzenegger."You'd better be lucky, punk," you say, pointing the loaded shotgun into its face, "Since you know my daughter's name, and this was her room before the remodel."...Honestly, you kinda hope your wife doesn't come in during this, but you can hear her puttering around downstairs."You're a screwy lookin' squirrel, and you've got about five seconds before I blow your head off and put you in a stew pot."[OPTIONS FOR THE SQUIRREL]>Man, I'm just a squirrel! Squee! Squee!>Look, I don't know about your sister, but you daughter is something else - she might be what we need to finish this fight!>Wait, a remodel? I thought this was Marion's bedroom?>Look, I'm sure we can talk this out
>>2622328>>Look, I don't know about your sister, but you daughter is something else - she might be what we need to finish this fight!
>>2622328As always:>WRITE IN! (for the squirrel)
>>2622328>>Look, I'm sure we can talk this outoh god were a damn redneck, but OP i absolutely love this.
>>2622328>>Look, I'm sure we can talk this outNot sure why we're voting for the squirel and not just the dad.
>>2622328>>Man, I'm just a squirrel! Squee! Squee!This is a masterful deception and cannot possibly fail.
>>2622328>Look, I'm sure we can talk this out
>>2622328>> Offer deepest condolences regarding the gun wielding human's sister>> He doesn't look like he is willing to take any bullshit, explain the situation clearly and plead for his permission to have his daughter's help, she might be able to help finish the fight once and for all for the good of everyone!
>>2622339Deadline for votes is 21:52 - twenty minutes after the first voting post.By the way, are there dice on /qst/? I used to run on /tg/ - do the dice run the same here?
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>2622368yeah there is, and i'm an old time on /tg/ as well, i kinda miss quests being there, but shit is as shit is.
>>2622374I'll bank that 65-100 for the next time I request a roll, for old times' sake.
>>2622351Rednecks can survive anything. Besides there's being a redneck and then there's being a shitbird redneck. We're clearly a bit above the average.
>>2622368what quests did you run?
>>2622433Motorcycle courier for one
>>2622328>Wait, a remodel? I thought this was Marion's bedroom?
>>2622368same, the only difference is the draw function but that's useless for most quests when ms paint and krita are free and more familiar
>>2622328>Man, I'm just a squirrel! Squee! Squee!
>>2622328"Look," the rodent squeaks out, "I'm sure we can talk this out."There's maybe a trace of fear in its eyes?You're not quite sure. You've never looked straight into a varmit's eye's before. Varmits just want to suck chickens' eggs or eat the young of other farm animals.Well, that's what you'd learned before you'd managed to get off the farm, get a degree, and get out into the city. A city where you'd found love, and found a life you never thought you could have. A life where your hands could encircle a set of... but enough thinking about your wife.What matters now is defending your daughter. and you'd seen a thing like that around your sister right before she died in very, v-e-r-y suspicious circumstances, way back there on the farm."I thought this was Marion's bedroom," the rodent said, its little teeth flashing with every word, "I'm sure there's been a misunderstanding - ""Like there was with my sister?" you ask, engulfing the little rodent in your hand."I don't know anything about your sister - " the ferret said, before it realized exactly how large your hands were, and that you could choke it to death while still holding the scruff of its neck.[Magic Ferret]>That... That wasn't me>I'm an emissary of an alien race that wants to stave off the Heat Death of the Universe, and we need your daughter for that>You were her brother? You have no idea what demons she faced. And you probably faced some of them yourself.>Can we table this until AFTER the rampaging demon taking out Downtown is dealt with?
>>2622462Oh, and for that - Pick 1. ONE. EIN. UNO.You know the drill.
>>2622462>>Can we table this until AFTER the rampaging demon taking out Downtown is dealt with?
>>2622436>Motorcycle CourierHoly shit, someone on here remembers.Damn. I'm glad, and I'm sorry to you that it never finished.
>>2622462>You were her brother? You have no idea what demons she faced. And you probably faced some of them yourself.
>>2622466Accepting votes until 22:27 - 20 min after the first voting post.
>>2622483Only one option mate.
>>2622486I appreciate what you're saying, but I usually take secondary and non-winning voted option into account when writing.Gives more interesting ideas to incorporate, particularly with write-ins.
>>2622473>Support>>2622462>You were her brother? You have no idea what demons she faced. And you probably faced some of them yourself.Lets become Magical Dad, by that I mean, Dad with a shotgun and a perfect daughter to protect. We gonna shotgun all ferrets and demons that come for our Marion. If that means we study dark magic and gain powers not meant for mortals to send demons back to the darkness and ferrets back to hell, then so be it!
>>2622462"You were her brother?" it asked, brazenly staring me down with those red eyes, "and I just heard about it, I didn't contract her. But you have no idea what demons she faced - "I must have grimaced at that one, because I swear it smirked.They say that baring teeth is a predatory response that, among fellow predators, became an expression of consolidarity.Only among the same species of predators. And that little ferret wasn't my species.He wasn't any species on earth."Although," he said, with what I, as a fellow mammal, could interpret as a smirk, "you probably know what she faced. You may have faced some of them yourself."OK.This rat can suck my dick, if he's comparing my parents to demons. Neither of us had a fantastic upbringing, but I wouldn't say it was demonic. Looking back, I'm pretty sure they meant the best for us."You've got one more chance," I said, ramming the shotgun's barrel into the rat's head, "one more chance to not get your brains on this carpet."...really hope my wife didn't hear that. She picked out this carpet, after all.[Ferret Spirit]>RAGING DEMON DOWNTOWN, Jesus Fuck! (That's why I was here to get your daughter to fight it!)>DIE TO SHOTGUN [BAD END]
>>2622535>RAGING DEMON DOWNTOWN, Jesus Fuck! (That's why I was here to get your daughter to fight it!)>Queue dad saying the ferret is not dying on the carpet, he's getting taken out back.
>>2622535Oh, wait, I want d100 rolls for the daughter rushinging in at this moment on the responses.Sorry about forgetting that.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>2622535>RAGING DEMON DOWNTOWN, Jesus Fuck!
>>2622539Voting ends at 22:54, 20min after the first voting response.Or possible before, if I start writing after votes are a a trickle. That's full disclosure for ya.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>2622542
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>2622535>>RAGING DEMON DOWNTOWN, Jesus Fuck! (That's why I was here to get your daughter to fight it!)Let's tell him we were about to throw his precious baby daughter into a life or death struggle against unimaginable evil with little to no preparation! This is a great plan! We are the best at plans!
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>2622535>>RAGING DEMON DOWNTOWN, Jesus Fuck!
>>2622374>>2622544>>2622548First three are over 50 (including that banked one), daughter does NOT barge in on you during this.(If they're failed, she would have come in seeking a stuffed animal in the room that used to be hers but got remodeled.)
>TFW want father daughter bonding experiences over magical shit
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>2622542
>>2622535"There's a raging demon downtown, Jesus Christ!" the little furry thing screams at you "that's why I was here to get your daughter in the first place!""Let me get this straight," you say, pocketing a box of shotgun shells, "you were going to grab my daughter out of bed, at this hour of the night, to go fight demons?""Well," it said, its ears drooping, "yeah - that's what magical girls do!">Just kill the damn thing>"Tell me that's what magical shotgun shells do too, and you can make these magical">"Ok, I guess I'll go wake her up, but it's past her bedtime"
>>2622580>"Tell me that's what magical shotgun shells do too, and you can make these magical">implyingwe arn't gonna punch the shit out of that demon for wasting our time and our girls time, and having to deal with this magical fucking ferret.
>>2622580>Tell me that's what magical shotgun shells do too, and you can make these magical"
>>2622558wait is that good or bad
>>2622580>"Tell me that's what magical shotgun shells do too, and you can make these magical"
>>262258422:53 - 23:13 is the maximum voting deadline, and I might begin writing before that.
>>2622580>"You could have picked anyone to risk their neck for you, but you had to pick my Marion. Never talk to my daughter again, you prick.">"Now, tell me that's what magical shotgun shells do too, and you can make these magical."
>>2622580>>"Tell me that's what magical shotgun shells do too, and you can make these magical"If he doesn't, we're shooting him, right?
>>2622580>>"Tell me that's what magical shotgun shells do too, and you can make these magical"
>Inb4 Magical Dad quest
>>2622580"Tell me that's what magical shotgun shells do too," you say, poking a finger into your jacket so they rattle, "and that your can make these magical."The ferret thing in your other hand writhes a bit and tells you "yeah, with the magic I've put on them, those'll bite demons, but I'll have to answer for this when I get home.""Well, ratface," you smirk at him, "hopefully with this, you'll make it home."It's not like he had another good option. You had him (literally) by the scruff of the neck there, and any other response would have left him a lot less handsome - even to females into rat-faced douchebags.Hopefully your daughter might have just thought he was cute in a stuffed-animal way."You ready to go in, kid?" he asks you, looking like a drill sergeant more than a rat."If I say 'no' now," you ask the damn thing, and hope it gets the reference, "are ya gonna say that the best part of me ran down my mother's backside?"The little rat's eyes narrow for a second."If we get out of this one alive," he squeaks, "I won't say anything like that".And then it all - you just have no idea. It's like that time in college that odd roommate offered you LSD, but it's - tunneling from one place in reality to another. I guess that's what you'd call it.Well, unless you called it "Fucking Crazy".Just enough time to think about your strategy on the other end:>Take cover and take stock of the situation>A demon? Like the ones that killed my sister? KILL THEM ALL>Rely on ratface here for support>WRITE IN
>>2622612I admit, I originally intended this to be "OH NO! My daugther's a Magical Girl!" Quest, but that just didn't seem to be the right path in the moment.
>>2622623>A demon? Like the ones that killed my sister? KILL THEM ALL
>>2622623>Take cover and take stock of the situation
>>2622623>>Take cover and take stock of the situation we gotta be tacticool as almighty fuck, also, we are totally gonna end up as the magical dad wizard, no ands ifs or buts, our signature spell will be gun.>>2622612and i couldn't wish for anything else, unless everyone in the family ends up magical shit and this crap becomes a family outing.
>>2622641Vote close at 23:36, based on the first voting post's timestamp (20min later).Might close faster, if there seems to be a heavy majority and I feel like writing from it.
>>2622623>>Take cover and take stock of the situation
>>2622623That was, uh, honestly, an experience you'd rather not repeat again. Seems like the little rodent in your hand gave physics a wedgie, and the two of you slid into this particular physical space while that nerd wasn't looking.Of course, you were the guy getting wedgied more than the wedgie-er, back in the day, but that's in the past. Nobody cares about high school after it happens to them, right?...Odd flight of fancy to have as you hunker down behind an upper-story balcony in a mall, frankly.[1/2, option selected: "Take Cover and take stock"]
>>2622673Then you see what's down there, making a mockery of the mall, as you hunker down behind a second-story barrier.You can't help but think of the juicy insurance claims that demon is racking up for the store owners, as it blasts through everything that looks structural.Some life insurance claims too, even at this time of night. Anyone staying this late is a manager or a stocker, and that first class has those things in spades.Idly, you wonder if the fact you're considering the victims' beneficiaries monetary benefits over the grief anyone would have over their deaths marks you as a sociopath.You hear the screams above the flames, young screams, old screams, just over the crackling waves of fire.Was this how you sister died? Is this how you'll die, leaving behind a weeping widow and a daughter barely into her best years?>Jump down and confront demon>jump down and pull as many people as you can to safety>Kill the damn rodent>Write in
>>2622693>Hop off that damn balcony and start shooting the ever-living shit out of that demon. Scream as loud as humanly possible the entire time.
>>2622693>>Jump down and confront demonAnd by confront, I mean shoot it in the face. Repeatedly. Until you're sure it's dead. Then keep shooting, just to be safe.
>>2622693>Jump down and confront demon
>>2622698First voting post at 23:47 - voting closes at 24:07
>>2622693>>Jump down and confront demon>>jump down and pull as many people as you can to safetyBoth of these, we will be a god damn hero.
>>2622693Synths blare in your ears. Then the drum riff hits.You get up. And Nothing gets You down.You know just how she feels - we've got to roll with the punches and get to what's real.Might as well jump.You chuck the little rat. Seems like he's nodding his head to the same beat you feel as you barrel over the barricade and jump straight down toward the demon."Hey," you yell at the demoness, as you take in those horns, that look in her eyes, "can't you see me standing here - "She turns toward you, those burning orbs joining with with yours."Can't you see what I mean?" you say, a song you heard in your misspent youth welling up in you, and you slam a round of buckshot into her.You swear that jackass rat has hit the mall's audio systems' classic rock soundtrack, but that's what you're feeling tonight. You can feel in in the air tonight. Maybe you're just back in black. Perhaps you're thunderstruck.Maybe you'll be giving this rat his dirty deeds done dirt cheap.It's your generation.And you pull on the demoness. With the shotgun. She's a hell of a lot easier to hit than a clay 'pigeon'. And she screams in a way your wife never has.And then - she kneels?A head of terrifying horns bowed toward you, a flaming mall as their backdrop.Then she asks "what do you wish of me, my master?"And suddenly, as if called by a powerful force, a little flying shard of life and hope and happiness smashes in through a window."DIE, demon!" it screams.And you know exactly who it is.It's your daughter.>We can definitely talk this all out.>You go girl, kill the demon!>write in
>>2622732>>We can definitely talk this all out.
>>2622738Support, I mean really, we could have a concubine demoness,
>>2622732....wait what?we just got a demon familiar, and things just went wonky.legit confusion at this point.anyways:>We can definitely talk this all out.
>>2622746I dunno if we should be taking a concubine right in front of our daughter, but the demon seems willing enough to talk things out.
>>2622732>>>write in>Go full dad mode. Use a pet nickname for daughter, tell her that we've got everything under control here, then>Talk this out.
>>262273800:18 - first voting response. Voting closes at 00:38I reserve the right to start writing before voting closes if one option seems dominant, or I just feel like it.I attempt to incorporate all write ins at least into internal monologue.
>>2622732>>We can definitely talk this all out."Young lady, it is long past your bed time, and I see you breaking into locked buildings, getting into fights, and trying to kill things. Would you like to explain exactly why you shouldn't be grounded until you're 50?"
>>2622751>Use a pet nickname for daughterGot any suggestions?Vote for it, fuckers!
>>2622758Sincer her name is Marion can we name her Mari?
>>2622758Marion -> Melon
>>2622767Support this for the obvious joke.
>>2622767Expanding on this, she's our melanin giving color to our life.
>>2622767I hope some bystanders overhear us and it becomes her de-facto superhero nameMelon and the Mad Man (or something else for the MC) would be a sweet name for a crime fighting father/daughter duo.
>>2622780>implying that as a responsible father we'd even consider letting our precious daughter risk her life in a fight that shouldn't be hers
>>2622783>Implying that any rebellious well meaning treasure of a daughter would let that stop her from saving lives where she can, forcing her father to become a chaperone
>>2622732That's the last person you would have expected to make a dynamic entry into this this situation, but maybe it should have been the first.Of course as soon as as you let go of that rat, he pulled your daughter back into this shit.You're damn conflicted.A surrendered, kneeling enemy combatant.Even if it's of the race that you know killed your sister.And Melon, your daughter, coming in finger on the trigger for genocide.Ok, all your wife's gibes about that name came back in force as she she slammed in with her developing assets just, ...uh, you'll have to mention to your wife that Melon's Melons would be better restrained.Wow. WOW. You're thinking that about your own daughter in this life-or-death situation?"We can definitely talk this out," you say, in what you hope is a calm voice.However calm your voice might be, your state of mind gets a lot less calmer once you see that RAT on your daughter's shoulder. How longer has that been going on?"There's no negotiating with EVIL!" she screams, lining up a shot on the kneeling horned demon in front of you.You see what seems like a smirk on the face of that ferret-looking thing on her shoulder.>Demons are evil, demons killed your sister, your daughter kills demons, this is fine.>Let her have the kill - you would have taken it yourself>Block your daughter's shot.>Tackle your daughter into a hug, and grab the rat while you're at it
>>2622780>implying we wouldn't be mistaken for her nemesis, forcing her to flee with our terrifying power>what horrors could that thing inflict on our stalwart champion, to make ever her turn tail?Meanwhile>"Dad, I'm trying to fight the forces of darkness!">"Not tonight you aren't, you've got school in the morning. Bed."
>>2622788>Tackle your daughter into a hug, and grab the rat while you're at itWe're going home right now, no ifs or buts.That goes for you too, demon. Get the fuck out of here and I never want to see you again.>>2622787>implying that we won't use any and all means necessary to protect our daughter from malicious talking ferrets who want to take advantage of her
>>2622788>Tackle your daughter into a hug, and grab the rat while you're at it
>>2622788>>Tackle your daughter into a hug, and grab the rat while you're at itHugs solve all problems. Even rats. You just have to hug them a lot tighter. Preferably around their necks.
>>2622788>Full Dad mode engage, maximum authoritarian voice initialized>"Now listen here little lady, what have i told you about taking the word of a tiny talking animals at face value? I don't recall raising you to shoot first and ask questions later">Reiterate that we will be talking this out, no ifs, ands or buts.
>>2622790First voting post: 00:52 - Voting deadline 01:12.Reserving the right to being writing before that, or after it, depending on whether what's out there is interesting,.
>>2622788You jump at the blonde who just crashed through the window....And catch her in a bear hug."Hey, Melon," you say, casually grabbing the rat by the scruff of the neck with one hugging hand, "how's daddy's girl doing?""Dad!?!" she says, and then melts down in your arms.Ok, that was half-expected, but you're not super great with crying women, even if they're in your arms.Still, you manage to look over her heaving shoulder straight into the eyes of the quivering demoness and mouth "GO. NOW. DON'T COME BACK."Sometimes, in your darker moments, you wish you could get that look of abject subjugation and compliance from the women in your life."The demon's gone - how does ice cream sound?" you half-whisper in your little girl's ear.The look on her face is enough, and there's an ice cream parlor nearby. And the ferret can go in your pocket.So you're off for ice cream.>preach to your daughter of the evil of magical rodents, even if they give magical powers>Talk about how badly this all worked out for her aunt [EMOTIONAL DAMAGE -10]>Ask obliquely about her magical girl schtick>Just be super glad she made it out alright tonight
>>2622817As always,>[WRITE IN!]Also, the [EMOTIONAL DAMAGE -10] makes the MC take ten emotional damage about the topic, in case you cared.
>>2622817>>Talk about how badly this all worked out for her aunt [EMOTIONAL DAMAGE -10]>>2622821Could emotional damage be healed by judicious application of adorable daughter hugs?
>>2622817>Just be super glad she made it out alright tonight
>>2622817>>preach to your daughter of the evil of magical rodents, even if they give magical powerssometimes it doesnt work like that you piece of shit magical ferret
>>2622817>Ask her straight up how she got into this magical girl business.It doesn't hurt to at least try to see it from her point of view even if we have no intention of letting her continue with this nonsense.
>>2622824First voting post at 01:26 - voting closes at 01:46Right reserved to start writing before closing if things seems foregone, and to demand 'NEXT TEN MINUTES Y/N VOTES!' directly after closing times, in case of ties, etc.
>>2622824>Could emotional damage be healed by judicious application of adorable daughter hugs?This is my answer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70hIRnj9kf8
>>2622829>>Ask her straight up how she got into this magical girl business.None of this 'oblique' crap. Real talk from dad to daughter, no stupid dancing around the subject.
>>2622817>>preach to your daughter of the evil of magical rodents, even if they give magical powers>Demon killing is not for little girls!Magical Dad incoming?
>>2622838There's nothing magical about anything of this.Except the fact that I really don't give a fuck.Write in whatever, I'll try to weave it in.Not giving a fuck is the real magic.(Also IP tags - I can't troll my own quests,)
Shouldn't we shoot the rodent?
>>2622817You not entirely sure why there's an ice cream shop open at this time of night.But hell, if your daughter was doing this demon fighting stuff under the auspices of a ferret (now safely in your pocket), she certainly deserves ice cream.You should have seen the signs.The late nights, the friends with themed hair colors and outfits, and you wish you'd managed to get that ferret in a mousetrap before this.Fuck mousetraps, you wish you'd gotten him in one of those backbreaking rattraps long before this.How many demons has she faced without any real support?How much blood has she had to see?"So how'd you get into this Mahou Shoujou stuff in the first place?" you ask, almost hesitating as she licks her ice cream.[Marion/Melon Response]>Well, this ferret showed up and told me I had to do it>Well, this injured ferret showed up and said I could take over his duties since there was nobody else>Well, my friends were all doing it...>Dad, it's my own business!>WRITE IN
>>2622853>>Well, my friends were all doing it...
>>2622853> Well, there was a demon attacking the mall a few months ago and it was the only way to stop more people from getting hurt....
>>2622853It's 2AM, and I'm passing out.This has been fun.If the thread's still around tomorrow, I'll pick up here, with whatever votes.If not, I'll hit a new thread.Announcements of threads on this twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDelugeHave good lives. Lead good lives.
>>2622853>Well, my friends were all doing it...
>>2622853>>Well, my friends were all doing it...sometimes girls want to have fun.....sometimes
>>2622856Basically i wanted a write in where it doesn't seem like she was conned into it and chose to do it for the right reasons.
>>2622857just found the thread, seems good, i'll chuck you a follow
>And you know exactly who it is.>It's your daughter.>However calm your voice might be, your state of mind gets a lot less calmer once you see that RAT on your daughter's shoulder. How longer has that been going on?I the ferret is evil or something? I only got the rough jist of the anime.I get the strong feeling we should kill it.>>2622853>Well, this ferret showed up and told me I had to do it
>>2622864he just hate the guts of that ferret since its that same (other) ferret that kills his big sister
>>2622867So does that mean we get to kill this ferret?
>>2622871If we want...but the thing is we dont know if killing the ferret will do to our daughter so we keep it for now.We can torture this guy for answers though
>>2622874>but the thing is we dont know if killing the ferret will do to our daughterWhy would we suspect that killing it would do something unpleasant to our daughter? Wouldn't it's continued existence eventually lead to her death?
>>2622879it could just as easily be a madoka deal where our magical daughter is basically a lich held together by an item we don't know where it is, and the ferret might have it.in other words, who the hell knows, also if this is the madoka route killing the ferret once might not necessarily kill it, it might just fucking respawn an asston of times and be completely useless in killing it.
>>2622856voting for this, i like this.
>>2622853>>Well, my friends were all doing it...I like this
Quick question. Why is it we seem to control characters beyond the dad? Shouldn’t other characters be done by the QM?
>>2622838What is this from, and don't tell me to google image search it, we all know image search sucks dong since the #ImNotAHarambe incident
>>2623048People can and will tell you to just google image search it because it's literally the only option that comes up when you do.
>>2623050Holy shit my bad, Google Image Search actually worked for the first time in 4 years. WTF Normally it just gives me non-descript mickey mouse cartoon responses
>>2623069https://whatanime.ga/ for future reference
>>2623024>Shouldn’t other characters be done by the QM?I'm experimenting with this. It's something I've tried less successfully before, and I want to see how well it can work.I'm seeing a few more votes for "My friends were all doing it" than for the write-in about a mall attack.Wait warmly, magic is preparing
>>2623166Its doens't work and its shit, why anyone thought it was a good idea is beyond me.Enjoy your shit quest before you abandon it as well
>>2622853"Well," your daughter says, looking at you with more honest eyes than you've seen on her in a while, "my friends were all doing it, so..."That's, uh, that's the line you'd expected about drugs, or tattoos, or doing awful things with boys or something.Not taking orders from a magical ferret claiming to be on a mission to save the world. And you've seen for yourself how well THAT works out for some people."Peer pressure, huh?" you ask, leaning back an your chair as your ice cream slowly melts. You're not sure you have the heart for it right now.At least you feel a little like a good person - you stopped a demon's rampage, and the clerk at the ice cream store was surprised you were just here for ice cream, and not the contents of the till.Funny how some people just don't that a man in a ripped shirt holding a shotgun is definitely out for some father-daughter bonding time."Uh, yeah," she says, brightening a little, "I only found out when demons attacked while we were hanging out at a mall. They were so cool, transforming and taking them on!" her eyes glow with hero worship as she starts into one of those sentences experience with your wife taught you not to interrupt, "but it was a tough fight, and their familiar said I could help, if I became a magical girl.""So, uh, I did," she finishes a little guiltily.>Tell her she's a hero and you're proud>Tell her it'll get her killed one day>Tell her it's way past her bedtime>WRITE IN
>>2623179>>Tell her it'll get her killed one day
>>2623178>Enjoy your shit quest before you abandon it as wellThank you for the good wishes - I'm enjoying it so far!I think it'll probably be a one-off, or few threads because I can't seem to finish anything if the scope gets too large. (The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one, right?)
>>2623166While the other guy was rather direct about it, having players be the other characters is generally a recipe for disaster. I would move away from that practice. On the other hand,>>2623179>Tell her it'll get her killed one day
>>2623179>It's late, well past your bed time. We'll talk about this with your mother tomorrow morning.
>>2623179>Tell her it's way past her bedtime
>>2623188First voting post at 09:43 - voting closes at 10:03.>>2623192>having players be the other characters is generally a recipe for disaster. I would move away from that practice.I haven't used it this much in other quests, and it's definitely a tightrope, but what the hell. We're all just telling a story together.
>>2623179This wasn't what they said parenting was like.Hell, this wasn't even what they said parenting a teenager was supposed to be like. That's just keeping your kids away from sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll, isn't it?There isn't a page in the Big Book of Parenting for 'how to tell your kid that trying to be a hero is a bad idea'. Isn't a hero something a parent should aspire to raise?"It'll get you killed some day," you say with a sigh. Teenagers like honesty, directness, and being treated like adults, don't they?"Yeah," she says sadly, "I know. I've heard the stories from other magical girls. Freebles was pretty up front about it too."Freebles?Oh, that rat that's still squirming in your pocket."But even if we die," she tells you, tears standing in her eyes, "a lot of other people don't die because of us, right?"They grow up so damn fast."Yeah," you mutter, "I guess. Look, it's way past your bedtime, and if you don't want to have to repeat that speech to your mother, we need to be getting back home."...how the hell did she manage to finish all of her ice cream while giving you that war-vet talk?"Oh," she says with a smile, "that'll be fine. I told her I was staying the night at a friend's place."Well damn, she's being smart about it. Who knew all those 'sleepovers' were actually covers for going demonslaying? And if she already said that, it'd raise even more questions if you brought her back."Well," you say, "just try to not get into any more trouble tonight," and give her a hug.Unfortunately, you realize as she walks away, you are going to have some explaining to do when you get home. You can't transform, your shirt is ripped and stained, you smell faintly of hellfire, and you're not sure if your wife saw you run out of the house with a shotgun earlier.How are you gonna play this one?>Play it super cool, like there's nothing wrong>Sneak into your house and hide the evidence>Tell your wife you had to hunt some angry critter outside>Screw going home right now, find a quiet spot and Jack Bauer the rat in your pocket
>>2623256We're going to have a family conversation about this.
>>2623256>>2623260This. Bring the rat as proof.
>>2622184I have to say, the concept is inherently hilarious.
>>2623260>>2623262I support these actions.
>>2623260First voting post at 10:20 - voting closes at 10:40.Just to clarify on this one, do you want to go run after the daughter and bring her back home tonight, or do that family conversation at some later date?
>>2623256>Tell your wife you had to hunt some angry critter outsideIt was a bear, we totally scared it the fuck off
>>2623260Voting for this."BECAUSE WE DO NOT HOLD SECRETS IN THIS HOUSE YOUNG MISSY!"
>>2623260voting for this.>I'm not mad at you, but its something we all should know.
>>2623256Wait, why did you let her leave just like that?And why did you think of a flimsy excuse like 'bringing her back if she's supposed to be at a friend's place would be suspicious'? EVERYTHING about this is suspicious, and you're not going to keep this a secret from your wife.It's almost like you weren't in control of yourself back there.It's time for a family talk. You chuck the used ice cream cups in the garbage, and head out after your daughter. Luckily she hasn't gone far - she's still walking down the street with a few people around her."Sorry dear," you tell her, putting your hand gently "but we're going home."She whirls around in shock, and so do the people walking with her.They're all around her age, with a rainbow of pastel hair colors. And they're not holding weapons, but those expressions they're giving you look just as deadly.Then suddenly a couple of them ARE holding weapons. And the one with blue hair is rushing you. With a goddamn samurai sword.Ok, you did look a little suspicious with your ripped shirt and shotgun, and if these are her magical friends, they're used to kill-or-be-killed situations, but really?>This is exactly why shotguns were invented (Fight them)>Fer chrissake, I'm her father!>Can we talk about this?>One more step and the rat gets it. (pull out the rat and use him as a hostage to ensure a decent talk)
>>2623287>Fer chrissake, I'm her father!
>>2623287>>Fer chrissake, I'm her father!
>>2623287>>Fer chrissake, I'm her father!Part of me REALLY wants to use the shotgun. But that would traumatize dear Melon.
>>2623287"Fer chrissake, I'm her father!" you yell, as the girl with blue hair bears down on you with a sharp-looking sword.Ok, well at least she hasn't gone all frilly yet. That's when you know a magical girl's serious.If she's just rushing with the sword, that means you've got a chance."Stop it!" your daughter yells as the sword whistles toward you, "that's my dad!"Unfortunately, it's a little late for words to be mightier than the sword. There's murder in those icy blue eyes, and even there wasn't, it's hard to stop mid-swing.You see a frightened look on your little girl's face as she realizes she's about to witness a chef making 'Dad Sashimi'.But it hasn't happened yet - you:[ROLL 1d100 AND:]>Raise the shotgun to block the sword>Counter-attack with the shotgun - this is why god invented them>Just take the slash. Just take it like a man.
>>2623288>>2623290>>2623298>>2623299To be fair, I didn't wait out a full voting period, but I felt like we had a clear winner already.
>>2623303>>Counter-attack with the shotgun - this is why god invented them
>>2623303>Raise the shotgun to block the sword
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>2623303>Counter-attack with the shotgun - this is why god invented them
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>2623303>>2623306 here, forgot to roll
>>2623307Thanks mini Satan!
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>2623303>>Counter-attack with the shotgun - this is why god invented themAND DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT!
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>2623303>Counter-attack with the shotgun - this is why god invented them
>>2623318What a magical number
>>2623305Forgot to mention - first voting post at 11:09, so voting ends at 11:29.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>2623303>Raise the shotgun to block the swordOr just try to dodge the strike.
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>2623309
>Mr. Colt made us all equals, bitch!Do we still have the magical ammo?
>>2623307>>2623310>>2623318>>2623326>>2623329Man outside of my roll, everyone is hitting the 60-70 range on their rolls.
>>2623332we just want to stop the girl dead in her tracks, not kill her.
>>2623334It's a cold hard life as a Magical Girl, nigga.You gotta be quick or you be dead.
>>2623334She's a magic girl. She can take it can't she?
>>2623338lets find out.i suppose so, otherwise they'd be brain-dead retarded to fight demons in melee range....which makes kinda sense; they are magical girls.
Voting's over, and by my count we're looking at:That one about shotguns and God:>>2623305>>2623307>>2623314>>2623318That one about just blocking the sword:>>2623306>>2623308>>2623326Guess it's time to write.>>2623331Yes.
>>2623340Why on God's green earth do these girls have these powers? Are they the only ones? If so why?I wanna strangle this rat when we get home and squeeze it until something valuable come out. It still has to pay for the shattered window. I mean, who does that?
>>2623347Because people with power tend to be idiots
>>2623347I can totally see the dad forcing the little shit to restore the window at gunpoint with the most angry look on his face with a tobacco pipe in his mouth.
>>2623352We should buy a shock collar for this thing. Stay too far and it gets a zapping. That way we won't have to worry about that responding business if we kill it on accident.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>2623303>Counter-attack with the shotgun - this is why god invented themThis is a boom stick and are you retread for coming at me with a sword im not a stuipd demon if she lives thought thoe we should konck he ass out cold with thr butt of thr shotgunAlso something something your thr bad girls gettin g my girl into all this shit im calling all your mums and dads
>>2623362>dubs 7W-wew>im calling all your mums and dadsThat's fucking right we will.
>>2623365I got a full house woop woop
>>2623303Well this escalated real fast.One minute you're having ice cream with your daughter, the next minute one of her magical girl friends is trying to get her sword comfy with your insides.You're still holding the shotgun, and it comes up almost reflexively, without thinking.Then the world goes into slow motion, and a lot of things happen at once.You pull the trigger, and the shotgun bellows with a god's laugh. Everyone screams.Well, your daughter and the blue-haired psycho in front of you were already screaming.Even the rat in your pocket is screaming something about being hanged as an accessory for making your shells magical.The sword clatters to the ground, the hand that held it obliterated. There's a look of pure horror on your daughter's face, and the redhead next to her is angry as hell. The pink-haired girl is holding her back, and you hear her say something like "she fucking started that fight, let her finish it."The girl with black hair is standing there almost expressionless. Her face almost hints at a smirk.And the girl in front of you - her face is something you might see in a gallery, titled "the Joy of Combat", painted in brushstrokes of lust and violence.Wait, lust? And you just shot her?Who the hell has your daughter been hanging out with?And she's still coming, closing the gap almost instantly, her one good fist slamming into your gut.Oh, and she's gone frilly. This isn't going to be pretty, is it?>She wants a fistfight, she gets one>Can't we talk about this?>Let's hit something more critical with the shotgun>Hug her>Try to get her friends to help de-escalate this>WRITE IN
>>2623373>>She wants a fistfight, she gets oneHit her with the butt of the (magical) shotgun!
>>2623373> Punch her in the face.> Then hug her.Repeat as necessary.
>>2623373>Let's hit something more critical with the shotgunFUCKING KEEP SHOOTING HER.EVEN IF WE HAVE TO BLOW EVEN MORE LIMBS OFF OF HER.
>>2623373>Let's hit something more critical with the shotgun
>>2623373>Blow her other arm off.If she keeps at it, she's going to be a quadruple amputee before this is over.
>>2623381Ah fuck this is perfect, support.
>>2623373>>She wants a fistfight, she gets one
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>2623373>Let's hit something more critical with the shotgunYou call these friends?!Do we still roll?
>>2623373>>Let's hit something more critical with the shotgun
>>2623373Hit her with the butt of the shotgun.
>>2623376First voting post at 11:56, voting closes at 12:16>>2623386>Do we still roll?Not if you roll like that.I should have asked for rolls, but forgot, so no rolls for this one.
>>2623362Is the grammar purposefully shit?>>2623373>Let's hit something more critical with the shotgunWe will give her a stern lecture after rendering her armless.
Voting's over.Fistfight/Buttstroking:>>2623376>>2623385>>2623388Let's go for a better shot:>>2623378>>2623379>>2623380>>2623386>>2623387>>2623390>>2623394
Why are we continuing to vote for attempting to murder one of our daughter's friends right in front of her?
>>2623408Also in public.Its very not cool to shoot teenagers in the streets. Even if one of them is your daughter.
>>2623408Because you people are animals.
>>2623408She'll be fiiiine.
>>2623408Should have let her kill us right?
>>2623414We have other options than "shoot the vitals".
>>2623408Because it's quite obvious that she is a danger to herself and her friends and actual innocent lives from what we gather from the other Magical Girls responses towards her stupidity.And that's the last thing we want for our daughter.
>>2623418It's magical girl, she can kill us with her teeth alone.
>>2623418and she could have not tried to stab us. Yet here we are.
>>2623422Fair pointThere's probably some bullshit magic that will heal her back up.
>>2623373You can discuss your daughter's choice of friends with her AFTER one of them isn't trying to kill you.Right now, you're too busy with the blue ball of violence in a miniskirt to give any good parenting advice.This girl is absolutely thirsting for a fight, and she's not pulling her punches. Either the pain from her injury (and the stray pellets that hit her) isn't registering, or she's ENJOYING it.You're not. Every hit she gets in is like a piledriver, even if you're doing your level best to not give her a straight shot. You can barely get a hit in around her incredible flurry of attacks. It's not that she has great defense, she's just rushing you so hard it doesn't matter.And there's a voice in the back of your head telling you that you probably don't have the stamina to keep up with a voracious teenage girl.You're already panting, but her labored breathing sounds a little different somehow.You've just got to endure her assault until something changes.And then it does. A sword appears out of nowhere, turning from shadow into a blinding piece of steel.She snatches it out of the air with her good hand, her smile getting more sharklike, and that's your cue.As she backs up slightly to into range for her slash, you bring the shotgun up and blow her other arm off. She gasps for a second, teeth parting out of that madcap grin.She can summon swords out of thin air? Great.That'll do a lot of good if she can't hold them.Of course, she's probably insane enough to try holding one in her teeth, but she can't do that if you put something else in her mouth, can she?Your hot barrel slides between her lips, and she gags on it slightly, a little bit of the bloodlust draining from her eyes as she stumbles, the gun in her mouth forcing her to her knees.Those eyes staring up at you know she's been beaten, that you could blow your load of shotshell right down her throat. But there's something else that replaces the bloodlust. You can't quite figure that look out. - And suddenly your daughter hugs her bloody friend from behind before you can figure it out."He's my dad, Sue!" she yells into her ear, crying a little bit, then looking up at you with an expression you always hate seeing.You've hurt her. You actually just almost murdered one of your daughter's friends in front of her.Of course, said friend started it.But you didn't mean to get this close to giving an object lesson in why life as a magical girl is dangerous.>Ok, now we're going home>I think we all need some apologies and introductions>Does she need a ride to the hospital?>Who on earth have you been hanging out with?>Write in
>>2623425>Ok, now we're going homeWe can talk about the rest latter
>>2623425>Who on earth have you been hanging out with?
>>2623425>Who on earth have you been hanging out with?>Ok, now we're going home"Sweetie if I have to to blow limbs off of your "friends" with a shotgun to get them to stop, it means that you should probably find different friends. More reasonable friends to be precise."
>>2623425>>Ok, now we're going home
>>2623425>>Does she need a ride to the hospital?
>>2623431First voting post at 12:43 - voting closes at 13:03
>>2623425>>Who on earth have you been hanging out with?
>>2623425>Does she need a ride to the hospital?If so, then let's get the introductions and apologies out of the way on the way, if not, let's save it for later and get our daughter home.We can talk about the company she keeps with our wife. Discussing it right now would just make things worse.
>>2623425>Who on earth have you been hanging out with?I can't almost believe a rat somehow coerced a bunch of little girls into fighting demons to the death. Almost. The appeal of power, the feeling of invulnerability, the fact that they believe that they're doing good. Which, I guess is partially right but still fucked up.Where is the wizard police when you need them?
>>2623425>Who on earth have you been hanging out with?>I think we all need some apologies and introductions
>>2623442Wheres the actual police. Weve been discharging a fire arm in public. Theres blood everywhere.
>>2623425>Does she need a ride to the hospital?Naaaaah. They're magic girls. Actually we should probably ask our daughter if she's going to regrow her limbs or something.And too be fair we could have also hit her with the butt of the shotgun after we put the hot barrel in her mouth.I should consolidate my posts.
>>2623446Don't worry, the're probably on their way.
>>2623446Probably dealing with demons and the burning mall.
It's like none of you have been to the emergency at a hospital before. You show up with an injured person and you're going to be questioned.
>>2623446>Wheres the actual police.There's part of me that feels that having the police show up and arrest the MC would be a hilarious way to end this as a oneshot.
>>2623453That sounds about right
>>2623425>>Who on earth have you been hanging out with?these bitches are crazy! i didn't taught you to be like that.
>>2623454>Turns out demons are in charge of the police, madman blows up the police station removing the demons at cost of his life
>>2623457Granted we've kinda fallen back on "shoot it with a shotgun" so we may not be the best rolemodel for socially acceptable amounts of force.
>>2623454"And so our intrepid hero got his old as fuck ass into prison for discharging a firearm in a public space and attempt to murder a minor without probable cause.""The intrepid hero's daughteru realized that being a magical girl was a lot more helish than she realized and decided to quit that shit and return home to be a family woman when she grew up.""The Rat died on the way back to his home planet after eating one too many pounds of arsenic laden coccaine bricks. His corpse would later star in The Last Jedi as Carrie Fisher's stunt double."
>>2623467we tried to dialogue with her and she kept coming. it was either us or her. Also, what would have devastated more our daughter? her "friend" killing us or us almost killing her friend?
>>2623468>attempt to murder a minor without probable cause."She ran at us with an unsheated sword. We tried to stop her with words and it didn't work, we also have several eye witnesses. this falls perfectly under self defense.
>>2623475We didn't get a good lawyer.And no one would really believe that we were defending ourselves against a small child, because this isn't Africa with the child soldiers.
>>2623467Nigga, when a motherfucka keeps coming at you with the intent to maim or murder, and doesn't stop even when you blow a hand off you can't afford to be gentle with a bitch like that dawg.
>>2623425"Who on earth have you been hanging out with?" you ask your daughter. Although now that you think about it, you don't have the greatest moral high ground to lecture from.After all, you've just proved yourself just as capable of incredible violence as her friends."Uh -" she starts, unsure what to say."I'm Mary," the pink haired girl cuts her off. You hadn't even noticed that she'd walked up. She looks a little younger than the rest, but there's something about her that feels off.Well, she is a magical girl, after all."Karen's the redhead," she says, jerking her head at a girl with a ponytail and a toothy grin,"and she'd wants a round with you after seeing what you managed to due to Sue - the one deepthroating your gun right now. Oh, and there's Harriet in the back, keeping up the 'move on, nothing to see here folks' magic. I believe you know Marion already," she finishes, fixing you the the sort of gaze you'd expect from some warlord, not a teenage girl.And there's something in the way she says that last line that seems to ask 'do you really know her, if you only found out she was a magical girl tonight?'"So you're magical girls, huh?" you ask, "you've gotten my daughter into some crazy and dangerous business, so I'm here to take her home."She laughs. Actually laughs in your face. That's rich, coming from her."You're calling US crazy and dangerous?" she says, still struggling to speak between laughs, "WHILE you've got a teenage girl fellating your shotgun?"Yeah, well, you're doing what you had to do to get your daughter out of this mess."She attacked me," you point out, "I was acting in self defense.""If you'd just blocked that first hit, we would have pulled her off of you," Mary tells you, "she only got so excited because you seemed like a good fight. By the way, would you mind letting her up? She's not going to try it again - at least tonight.">Let this 'Sue' girl up>Offer terms/conditions to let her up>Write In / other suggestions for this conversation
>>2623425>>2623434second. Probably add intro in with this.
>>2623494Bunch of motherfuckers trying to pull the higher moral ground bullshit on us. If they were capable people and not teenagers we wouldn't have this situation.>Let this 'Sue' girl up
>>2623494>Let her up. Tell her no more squirrelly shit or else.>So do all the rest of you get off on blood spilling or is it just her?
>>2623494>Let this 'Sue' girl upBlocked that first sword blow my ass. Probably would have cleaved us in half if we’d tried to block with a normal ass weapon. And why the hell would we expect somebody to be MORE excited about a fight after we blew their hand off? There’s “Likes a good fight”, and then there’s battle masochist.
>>2623501Voting until 13:53.I probably need to stop soon, so I can go do other things with my day.It's been an interesting run.
>>2623494>"Good excuse, does it still hold up when you end up letting your buddies randomly murder people. Or do you legit think that you'll really have the strength to hold her back when she's already two steps short of going berserk at the drop of a hat?">Let her up. Tell her no more squirrelly shit or else.Because seriously, we will end her ass if she tries that shit again.>>2623501Ain't that the fuckin truth.
>>2623507>we will end her ass if she tries that shit again.we are gonna go full /k/ommando on their asses if they try to do that shit again to us OR our daughter. Demons? pfft; you'll wish you were fighting them. Now say hello to my friend called AR-15.
>>2623494Offer terms/conditions to let her upYou let me take my girl home and il have a talk with the rat and we can meet up in a week or i blow my load deep into sue that magic cant fix also if sue trys shit im killing her as well and or blowing the rat
>>2623494>Offer terms/conditions to let her upWhat's with all this magic girl bullshit?
>>2623494>Let this 'Sue' girl upYeah it's not good to leave the girl with a gun in her mouth.
>>2623510Well we have a shotgun also what type is it a double barrel? Pump action?, auto loader or a swan off
>>2623522Probably a standard Pump Action.
>>2623522Since we didn't have to pump it, i bet its one that has an autoloader.
>>2623494>Write In / other suggestions for this conversationI could have blocked, but I wouldn't put it past your magic sword to cut my gun like paper then bisect me in half.
>>2623507>Because seriously, we will end her ass if she tries that shit again.Nope. You know how much that would fuck up out daughter if we killed her friend?>>2623514Do you have to say it like that?
>>2623523>>2623525So single barrle atuo loader shotgun with magic shells? So many sex dick jokes with the pump atcion
>>2623538Well yes, it comes with the territory.
>>2623536Soo?? Our girl gave as that vet talk about dieing and beening ok with it, time to see if shes all talk and to show her whats going to end up happening to them all at some point.And i had to word it like that as it fits right in there with how op is typing this
>>2623536>Nope. You know how much that would fuck up out daughter if we killed her friend?Nigga please.
>>2623536then she's better stay away from those psycopaths she calls "friends". Who knows, maybe this is a contagious thing and she's the next that will become a murderhobo.
>>2623494"You're saying that like I could have blocked it," you tell her, returning the stare, "that probably would have gone right through my gun, and probably most of me too."Then Mary grins at you. "You've been wrapped up in this sort of thing before haven't you?""Maybe," you say, noticing the hint of realization on your daughter's face that she might not be the only one with secrets - and you might know what you're talking about, "enough to know that if you guys were capable people and not crazy teenagers, we wouldn't be in this situation. So do all of you get off on violence, or just her?""Mostly her, but everyone has their moments," she says with another smirk."I'll let her up," you say, "but I'm going to need more of an explanation about all this later. And I want you to keep my family out of this whole thing. You kids are playing with some really dangerous fire here, and you probably can't stop her," you say, nodding at Sue, "if she really gets going. If that had been anyone other than me, what do you think would have happened?"Mary gives you a look you can't interpret, but the question hangs in the air.Has something like that actually happened before?You look down at the girl kneeling before you."Hey kid," you say to the blue eyes staring up at you, "work on that hair-trigger temper. That'll get you into a hell of a lot more trouble than it'll get you out of."She nods as much as you let her, then you pull the gun back.And she leans forward a little and - licks? LICKS the tip of the barrel. Then she settles back into your daughter's embrace and says "wow, he really knows how to work that big thing. He totally wore me out."It takes her a second, but then Marion yells "HE'S MY DAD, SUE!" for the second time that night. It's an almost perfect echo of the first time.Except, you know, the two of you aren't trying to kill each other.Everyone starts laughing, well, except the black haired girl in the back. She just smiles.So THAT's what the odd look in her eyes was after the fight. Alright, there's a chapter in the Parents' Playbook for "When you daughter's friend has a crush on you". It's not a chapter you've read, but it's there.And that's a lot better turf to be on than whatever was happening earlier.That's parenting stuff, right there. That's what you're cut out for, not this demon-slaying jazz....Of course, there's another parenting thing that's going to be happening tonight, and you're not looking forward to it."Hey, Marion," you say, "let's go talk to your mother."
>>2623562[META POST]And that's all for now, folks!I guess this'll be at least two parts - I'll announce on twitter (https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge) when I'll do the next one.This has been a fun ride - not where I thought this concept would go, but I didn't have anything in particular planned.Let me know what you thought about it, or if there's anything in particular you'd be interested to see.
>>2623568i like this, its great watching the dad with the magical hobo shotgun and apparently the weird ability to control demons and shit and the magical daughter who might be some seriously powerful shit, and with the trend this is going the mom is probably an Ex magical girl who was around during our sisters time and had to put up with this shit once before.
>>2623568this has been one weird ride. Good but weird nonetheless.
>>2623568I think that you've got enough bits dropped here and there to put together an interesting narrative. I didn't get a chance to check this before it was over but I'll be on the lookout for future ones.
>>2623571>and apparently the weird ability to control demonswait what the fuck now in the what? when did this happen?>the mom is probably an Ex magical girl who was around during our sisters time and had to put up with this shit once before.Well that is debatable? Would the dad's wife interact with his sister? fuck I don't know.
>>2623568It's been legitimately enjoyable so far. Especially with how you've been writing the characters.
>>2623568This has been fun, though I do have a complaint of how the MC is a bit all over the place. OP states we're an accountant, then we're a redneck with a shotgun, then we're a veteran of magical girls and all the bullshit they bring with them. As hilarious as it is to go full Henderson, I'd rather have a consistent MC, though if you're not planning on running this for long it doesn't really matter.
>>2623574>wait what the fuck now in the what? when did this happen?>>2622732>She's a hell of a lot easier to hit than a clay 'pigeon'. And she screams in a way your wife never has.>And then - she kneels?>A head of terrifying horns bowed toward you, a flaming mall as their backdrop.>Then she asks "what do you wish of me, my master?"thats when.
>>2623595.......what in my fuck?I can't even right now.
>>2623596>>2623595hey, that's great for us, that means we can see why they want to fuck our worls, see a way to deal with it and stop the fucking incursions.
>>2623596yup its a thing, we can control demons m8, who knows why, but we can.
>>2623590I think theres a lot of story there: we already knew our sister dealt with magical girl shit, and what it seems like is we got dragged into that shit as time went on, then things happened, she died, we apparently left that life and became an accountant and this could be in the south, shit ties up in that way.
>>2623600We are actually a evil overlord who fell in love with a magical girl and through her magical efforts and our own will we repressed our memories and implanted new ones so we could live peacefully and raise a family. All this magical shit coming at us is breaking that block and causing our memories and personality to spaz out as it both atttempts to remember and repress itself.
>>2623604I feel like this is a possible thing. I still can't even, but I sort of get it.Dad has demonic subjugation powers or something.
I remember a quest like this back on /tg/.Was one of my favorites before I stopped coming on. I wonder what happened to it.
>>2623590I think that was an interpretation of something said when threatening the little magical creature.I mean, you wouldn't have to be a butcher to threaten a minotaur with being turned into T-bone steaks.There's also the fact that there are a number of people in certain places in the country that do redneck stuff in their free time, whatever their 9-to-5 is.>>2623604Alternatively, shotgun shells imbued with love-powered magical girl magic make demons fall slavishly in love with you.I just realized that the MC is running two for two on supernatural females expressing affection/subservience after being shot....with an extremely phallic weapon.Freud would have a field day here.Please don't take this post as confirmation/denial of anything.
>>2623610...was it Be the BBEG?
>>2623615Say QM: How many more shells do we have left that have been enchanted by magical grill powers?
>>2623615So that's how the demon....and now the blue haired girl.....good god.
>>2623626I think the MC had the rat do a whole box? That's usually 25-30, IIRC.>>2623634I'm not saying that's the real explanation, but that would be hilarious.>>2623604That's a cool idea, but I'm worried that if things went that way, there's a set of people who want "dad with shotgun saves day" and would be disappointed.
>>2623649we can always say that we decided to not be an overlord for a reason and use them as last resort/not use them at all.
>>2623649>That's a cool idea, but I'm worried that if things went that way, there's a set of people who want "dad with shotgun saves day" and would be disappointed.IMO I think it would really just depend on how it plays out ingame. Because having that kind of origin really wouldn't affect much since we'd still be using the shotgun and saving the day.Now if you mean being a normal everyday dude protecting his little ray of sunshine and it turns out we are not so normal, then yeah it might be a bit dissapointing at first but go on because it still doesn't affect how we do things now.Of course this is just me spitballing and looking at the big picture through my own eyes so I cannot properly speak for everyone here.
>>2623619Nah, but I think I remember that too.MC was the single father of a magical girl, and gained magical powers through sheer dadness.
>>2623649>I'm not saying that's the real explanation, but that would be hilarious.>We main them and they fall in love with us.I love it.
>>2623700Pretty sure she’ll be healed in a few seconds.
>>2623702that's even better.
>>2623568I'm not a fan of playing every characters response when in socially antagonistic situations.
>>2623667I'd be fine with either really. I'm not a fan of the repressed memories thing though. I'd rather the ferrets contracted his sister specifically because he was an overlord (or a general or something). He wasn't aware his sister contracted until she does and that made him give it up.
>>2623675>>2623649Also this is far more interesting.Like.Instead of secretly being the BBEG we have to become the BBEG tp protect our kid by killing off other Demons before they can fight her and suddenly we're running the place because we only kill if we have to and we aren't shot about popping some magical girls either if that's what it takes.
>>2623740Or we got infected by something that turns us into a demon and sister sealed us.Undoing the seal is a bad idea as we turn into a demon that's liable to be scary as fuck.Headcanon being the older a demon is the stronger it is, which is why most meguca go after them ASAP. Most demons are either a few week old scrubs or immensely ancient demons who cannot manifest into the mortal realm easily due to being ludicrously OP. The theoretical dad demon would be low high end or high medium end.
>>2623749>Final battle is us shooting YVHV in the faceWe SMT now
>>2623757I'd rather be dangerous by a combination of being genre savvy and practical, along with ruthlessness, instead of just straight up power wank.Like.If we want to get cosmic fucking power I this quest, let's EARN it somehow instead of having it handed to us. Continue on the deconstruction of the genre by being an involved outsider like we already have done.
>>26237665 rounds rapid is always worth a shot.But we're also an accountant.> Final battle is crunching the numbers and proving that the squirrel is embezzling energy from the girls and that enough demons were actually killed ages ago> And then we shoot him in the faceLike. None of these kids are even old enough to drive yet.
>>2623738Yeah, that seems like nearly unanimous feedback. Guess I'll try to steer clear.Unfortunately, I really like the concept.>>2623757>theoretical dad demonSomeone needs to name a band this.>>2623775>None of these kids are even old enough to drive yetI know where I'm pulling images from so far, but that's mostly because it's easy to source something, given the mountains of art out there for it.I'm thinking at least mid teens for this, mostly because I'm superbly uncomfortable going too young with the roads we're apparently going down here.
>>2623825You mean the love gun route?Dadys got thr bigest and best love gun in this town
>>2623332We gotta fuck the crazy one sane. Only logical path.
>>2623893> Fucking your daughters friend with emotional problemsYou're the worst Dad. > Cheating on your living wifeI hope this ends the quest if it happens and starts "Magical Woman Scorned Quest" where she hunts us down and kills us.Well."You".
>>2623825Also how else are we going to justify our position as team leader by virtue of being the only one with a car?
>>2623913Oldest and owns a car. Its an episode if dad takes the magical girls off to amjurder party. Imagine picking them all up from there parents house talking about like some amusment park they are all going to.
>>2623913>>2623931basically we'll become pic related.
>>2623940Exactly what I was thinking.> Affter a brief struggle with unholy energies, they informed me they needed a ride. Typical.
>>2623959I can already imagine it.>after the blue one stopped dry humping my leg, we continued the adventure. Typical
>>2623965> I went to grab my trusty shotgun from the backseat. > Ew, what the fuck, why is it all . . . Sticky . . .> I grabbed my trusty tire wrench from the back seat. A couple of minutes with the solder and it was a half-decent symbol of Yuggoth with enough heft to be a respectable club in case we guessed wrong about where the demon came from.> Note to self: Do not leave shotgun unattended in the backseat. Ever. Again.
>>2623965>I told the girls if they didn’t calm the fuck down in the back seat, I’d tear them a new one.>The blue one got hearts in her eyes at that. Literal hearts! Fuck me...
>>2623972>>2623971>Moments like these makes me wish i had pulled the trigger that time she deepthroated the shotgun for the third time in the day.
>>2623972The shotgun is the dense harem protagonist.Wife is probably best girl.Daughter is the incest option.Blue haired friend is psychopath option.Dad is the bro.
>>2624047For maximum effect he needs to scream the name of his sister while in bed with his daughter.
>>2623658It could be that we somehow "inherited" the position but are unaware of it, or that the demons are just confused because we are an old dude and not a pubescent girl and think that means we are actually way deadlier than we really are and it's just a big old misunderstanding.So we end up having to really ham it up and draw the most aggro despite actually being the squishiest combatant so that they don't go after our little girl.
>>2624057>Demons respect and obey the dad because he seems like the only serious threat.i dig this.
>>2624047>>2624056Still a better plot than most h-doujins.
>>2624060Emphasis on SEEMS like.> Your daughter is able to magically heal you! Hooray!> You still take damage like a normal person though.> Your Daughter can't bring you back from the dead though. Oh no!Pretty much a balancing act of learning to dodge really fast, tanking hits and hiding how close to dead you are, and hopefully getting healed before actually dying after which the squirrel tries to pretend that everything is fine and PTSD isn't a thing.Also we gotta shoot that squirrel.
>>2624065I am kinda expecting our wife to be a Claymore at this rate.
>>2624071>Wife is not a claymore.>She is a demon queen.>That technically makes us a king (and explains the weird ass wedding we had)
>>2624068Step 1: raid a museum Step 2: force the little shit to puke magic on the armor, shields, etcStep 3: go medieval
>>2624092Wonder if he could just enchant the shotgun so anything shot from it is magical.
>>2624084So she looks like an awakened being?
>>2624092>On last leg>The other was literally shot off>I have to use 'that'>You can't use 'THAT' it is way too dangerous>Too bad because I have already pulled out the pin>Our enchanted armor takes most of the damage>We are left with exactly 1 HP>Have to explain why you are bringing 5 young girls to the hospital
>>2624092This. Except that instead of being the outright murderous one, since Blue Hearts seems to have that on lock-down, our character just refuses to take any of the bullshit outside of the fights themselves.Just constantly being disappointed in the demons. They should go back to school and get a degree, start investing in their retirement, etc. Honestly the magical girls are probably a bad influence on them by enabling their power fantasies. Like, have they thought about how much actual work is going to be involved in running the world? Do they even get vacation days? They probably have an unreasonably high insurance co-pay too because of the high risk of magical vaporization.What, they don't even have any health insurance at all? This is because Clinton betrayed the Unions you know, a strong union wouldn't stand for this.And so Dad unionized the Drmon race and instituted mandatory staff holidays and slowly lost control of his life be abuse ju turns out magical girls still need goddamn braces and those aren't cheap.
>>2624101> Not enchanting the grill of our car so that we can ram greater demons with it.
>>2624084It explains the In laws at the very least, god damn they are terrible during the holidays
>>2624148Why not both?
>>2624152so is ferret's entire reason for continued existence to be our magical swiss army knife to enchant shit when we want shit enchanted, cause i'm entirely ok with this, especially if we have to regularly smack the stupid out of it.
>>2624155I would say . . . Yes. Through a combination of blackmail and bribery and outright lying.Like, we could offer to trade back our last few enchanted shotgun shells in exchange for them enchanting some armour for us, implying that it would be less dangerous and that we would be less likely to be involved as the armor would be for our little girl.Only for us to then use the armor ourselves to beat down Demons, and the squirrel when we need it to enchant stuff. Turns out we don't run out of asswhuppings the same way we would shotgun shells.Also we should hide from Blue Hearts by sitting her down with our wife and letting them figure things out. Hopefully it doesn't end up like Kentas Horny Mom.
>>2624114>to be honest doc I didn't think they'd make it past round five, but they sure know how to move>especially my daughter I'm so proud>why are you calling security >>2624101Sounds like a start but a belt feels essential
>>2624185>Ask ferret to enchant belt>Blue immediately jumps on Dad's knee and asks to be punished for fighting himI mean yea I'm on board with it.
>>2624185>>2624194At this point I am legit worried that as soon as our wife goes on a business trip or leaves the house sue will sneak in and try to suck our dick.
>>2624197>Wake up to someone trying to take our boxers off.>Think the wife is back early and feeling frisky>Lift the covers and see blue>Throw her out the window that the ferret just finished repairing.
>>2624206>She thinks it's foreplay>we're stuck trying keep our wedding vow with a girl who think in MGE logic.
>>2624212>Blue asked Melon about our Dad>Well he is the best Dad ever i mean he didn't spank me when i was a child>*blueberry disappointed noises*>But one time i heard my mother cries while my father doing something and i was afraid at that time that father beat my mother.>*Blueberry girlboner intesifies*>HEY YOURE DROOLING
>Beach Episode>For some reason you became a de facto guardian of 5 superpowered teenage girls>DAAAAAAAAAAAAAD come play with us>We sit on a beach parasol in the sand thinking how to escape you daughter because for some reason this is a bad day>A Leviathan Octopus emerged>Fuck my life
>>2624237> Fight off Leviathan easily.> Fight off Blue Hearts attempts to "lose" her bikini top with slightly more difficulty.> Guys at the beach end up hitting on her. Haha they don't know what they're in for. Wait, now they're hitting on your daughter - one if them just spanked her ass > DADRAGE.EXE has finished running.> Blue Hearts is somehow stuck to your legs. Typical. ohfuckherecomesthewife> Run into ocean don't look back.
>>2624256>Wife follows>Pries off blue limpet>Drags all the girls but Marion (and us) into a tent>proceeds to do a very through this is my man not your hands off or else demonstration in front of all of them.
>Date Night with the wife.>Go to a nice restaurant, wine, small portions, and live string instruments.>Leave your daughter with a *reliable* babysitter who should keep her out of the MG business.>Suddenly demon attack.>It's the one who called us master after we established dominance.>Blueberry appears.>Both Blueberry and the sub demon want the Dad.>yfw the wife nukes them both with magic.>yfw the wife was a senior MG all along.
>>2624265>After the disaster the date that is you have a hard time talking to your wife>No you have to face this like a man>HONEY I>*opens the door*>Wife is tugging her outgrown magical outfit of hers>You both freeze>Silence>*slowly walks back and closes the door slowly*>Dinner later and we have come in terms with our life faster than we though>Marion can only cock her head sideways what on earth is happening this past few days
>>2623048Show name is Mahou Shoujo Ore. About two cute girls transforming into JoJo Characters.
>>2624297>Implying this won't lead to Marion becoming big sis Marion.
i think i'm a bit late to the party, but that's a pretty great start also, glad to see you back in the game, QM
>>2624406That's a bit redundant ain't it?
>>2624265Suddenly mc realizes why his angel's parents were so happy she found a boy and married him.
>>2624105Probably. Altough i was thinking she'd look like morrigan.
>>2624105>>2624559Fucking titty-demons and psycho-blueberry samurais after our co-err shotgun...I feel bad for the dad, all the awkward wtf boners he is probably going to be forced to pop, a less faithful man would cheat on his wife. But his wife just wonders what has re-invigorated their sex-life so much, and if she should go back on the pill before Marion gets a little sister/brother.
>>2624574>Implying a succubus/ex magical girl and a man with a stable and well paying job don't have a healthy sex life What are you? a faggot?
>>2624590> Not fucking your wife out of desperation to exhaust your dick before it goes into some magical Jailbait or literally Hell.Pretty sure that would still be stepping it up a notch. Even the hottest wife is hard to keep up youthful enthusiasm with after having a kid. They're just exhausting. And you kind of fall into a comfy routine. TL;DR Ain't nothing healthy about how bad we're about to beat up our wife's pussy.
>>2624654What if it awakens something in our wife.Like that delicious pre-child libido.>We frustrate blueberry's seduction attempts by showing no reaction.>Blueberry's face when the wife already drained us before going out of the house.
>>2624693Pretty much.Still better than yuri.
>>2624732Oh god what will happen if Blueberry turns her head to our daughter because....oh wait nevermind we have not!Homura contain her ladyboner
I really don't know what to think about !Sayaka getting wet from having her hand turned to hamburger and the still smoking barrel of the shotgun that did it shoved down her throat by her friend's father.whyboner.jpg
Ok now i can see what is like tomorrow>We wake up>See wife not in bed>Go downstairs>Sit and eat breakfast>Hi Daddy>wait a minute>See Blueberry and Melon>Shoot a look at our wife>An adoption paper was passed this morning with your signature in it. I didn;t know you wanted another daughter>she smirks>ferret laughs inconspociouslyYeah its that magical ferret fault again
>>2624060Clearly it just recognized his scent>Inb4 MC's magical sister's shtick was fighting enemies that were corrupted into monsters by demon bbegb[Spoiler] we were the mysterious evil rival character that showed up mid season
>>2624060>>2624831>Implying his Wife isn't the Demon LordEither way that would make our Daughter Mary Sue tier but goddamn it would be a fun twist.
>>2624943Technically it doesn't matter because the story is about us, not her. But you could argue that her demonic powers dont manifest when she is a magical girl, or that they haven't blossomed yet.
>>2624169>Kentas Horny MomHoly shit, someone else read that.
>>2625054Man, I just read that now because I like cute moms, but the kid just keeps being a pussy or getting cucked.
>>2625156The joke of that particular comic (Sexy Losers) is that it takes what should be good porn premises and runs them into the ground.Also, I should hopefully have another thread up this afternoon.
What if I was to tell you that our wife is actually Blue Heart that had gone through time shenanigans and went back to the past and married us.
>>2625202Blonde hair is a recessive genetic trait.Therefore, since Marion is blonde, her mother must also be a blonde.I mean, all bets are off when it comes to magic.
>>2625202You think we'd have realized how similar they were when our wife also doesn't have one of her hands.
>>2625210Sayaka is also blonde, she is just dye her hair blue.
>>2625202>>2625229As much as i like this, we would have noticed that the blue girl looks like a younger version of our wife.i also like more that our wife is a demon queen/ex MG
>>2625238I'm quite fond of >>2624831premise
>>2625244but anon, that's our sister, we can't be married tp her.
New thread is >>2625318Can't use the same header image as here, since this one's still up, but this thread is sageing.Speculate in the new thread, if you want.
>>2625054It was a darker time before we had Oglaf in all its glorious colour spreads.
>>2625210Blue is not a natural hair color.Just sayin'.
>>2626239I'm just going to leave it at "all bets are off when it comes to magic"