MEGA POSTSTART!>You are Anonymous McMoot>Nearly a year ago, your whole life was a ruin>Your parents were shit>Your only friend turned out to be hanging with you out of pity and confusion>You were alone>Weak>Unworthy of being anything else>Now you've got something more than most people even dream of>A mom>Even if she is a sentient magical force of nature from another reality>A home>Even if it's a flying castle also from another universe that's entirely devoid of all living things>Real friends>No astericks there>Janna>Justin>Oskarr>That Homeless guy who calls you his Dirt Brother>A minivan sized bush that licks your face>Your own right Arm who likes to violate people's anal cavities>Real friends>A real life >You even have a gf >Thanks, Dark Sorcery>You had to really grind to get here>Fight not only monsters>Sorcerers>Nightmares>You learned the universe>All universes>Were created and controlled to some degree>By "Fate">You learned your place in this universe>Or what it used to be Fate wanted you to dieTo fade away without a whisper >So you said "No u">Now fate's dead and there's no god>Thanks again, Dark Sorcery>The Universe is free>Your destiny has become your own and no one elses>So you decided>To make your life the greatest it could be>THIS HAS PRESENTED SOME CHALLENGEScont
>>2524290>>2524290>For one>You got bank-robbed earlier this weekhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1pf0s8VrRef23OUoV6IiF9gtMG8hQkg1U3XKdEI3GScs/edit#heading=h.gp7fv7ukka9tANON'S GOLD STORES REDUCED BY 50 GOLD>Anon has made some expenditures as wellMONEY REDUCED BY $400 FOR HUGE TV AND VIDYA GAMES>The guys who robbed you didn't pull off the job clean>You got one of their corpses thanks to a pal>Who made the corpse>By killing him>You intended to resurrect him and interrogate the bastard>Before you could however his partner showed up, and essentially gang pressed you into the returning the body So you stole his immortal soul to interrogate later. The canvas is getting too full. >Now that dead guy's soul is trapped in your wand>Thanks again again, Dark Sorcery>You however have only one lead on where these goons came from>The Lizard>You know a Lizard>One>Lizard>Toffee>A grey skinned, mostly chill dude>Helped you not die when you face dived into a castle>After getting shot up by the government>Why would he send goons after you?>Are there other lizards?L: "If there were.">Luna places the stirring spoon for her tea on her tongue>She closes her tiny mouth around the steaming hot metal without breaking eye contact>She doesn't even speak the words she wants to impart>Choosing instead to whisper them into your mind >L: "They couldn't be trusted either." TWO MAJOR CHOICES/DISCUSSIONS MUST BE HAD>What is your empire going to do about money?-Adventure King (rely off your winnings from the universe)-Seek living Subjects (to start a real economy with taxes and laws)-Mine Mine MINE (Plunder the earth and ancient places. Risks your army, but the dead don't have living expenses)>What about the Lizard?-Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo, Your buddies in the Mewni Ranger's regiment)-Shake down other Monsters (You've got the goons, somebody in the underbelly of Mewni has to know something)cont
>>2524296>>2524296>Luna has been having a problem>One that is seriously wigging you out>She has forgotten things>Bigly things>Some of her most powerful magics are missing>She says someone must have tampered with the book her soul used to occupy>You've already decided you're going to see Glossaryck>The weird blue man that teaches your greatest magical rival>Star fucking Butterfly>You cringe thinking her name>You cringe harder thinking about the fact you totally bullshitted your old best friend>Who is now -her- best friend>Marco Diaz>You mutilated his butt>Embarrassed him in front of his new Space Princess bestie>Then claimed you did it -mark- him>You can feel something deep in your guts>A wiggly kind of disquietA: "Is that gas?"L: "It's guilt, darling."A: "I hate it."L: "It's not all bad. It means you still have conscience."A: "Do I need a conscience?"L: "I'm not sure it can be surgically removed."A: "Not yet, anyways.">OR>Will you tackle one of the other big issues first?>CHOOSE ONE BIG ENCOUNTER FOR THE END OF THE WEEK-Missing Magic>Luna's lost spells could be huge boons to your efforts>The Power to resurrect the Dead>The Power to create Vessels to trap souls>To travel not just travel between dimensions in the same reality, but entire different realms>Glossaryck was the last one to touch the book>He has to know something-WAR PLANET OF LOOZAR>Your tech expert, Wondervon used to have a grand laboratory>He's fixed up the castle to be semi-livable>Without his old set up and tools however he is crippled (or building from square 0)>The issue is that the world this lab was on has been CONQUERED BY SPACE GLADIATORS>They've built an arena on top of his old Lab>Conquering this arena could certainly hold great rewards-The Forest's Toll>Your friend, Janna has been learning some magic from a Salem Witch named "Martha">Janna's driven and determined, but she's hit a wall>Humans don't have their own magic power>They have to borrow or siphon it from other sources>Martha's and by extension Janna's is a Patron deity called "The Horned Man">He wants something from Janna>Something you suspect might be sinister>He might even want to take advantage of her desires>To satiate his own>Can you suffer the presence of another creature deigning what your friend owes him?cont
>>2524300>>2524300>Smaller issues are about.>Dealing with them could be a trifle or an ordeal.>You simply don't know.>You're not psychic >L: "Yes, you are." >You're not that KIND of psychic.HOW DO YOU RESOLVE (or do you) THE FOLLOWING CONCERNS>Bow is still scratching a lot>His leaves are falling off>Someone has been writing violently gay fanfiction about you and your bros from school>People have started to talk because of them>You do not have a throne in your throne room>Just a bean bag chair and a big screen TV>The skeletons tell you they found someone special when they were sent corpse raiding>It is sealed, however>In a solid iron coffin covered in chains and full of welded anglesNOW PREMIERING KINGDOM STATSAnon's kingdom is comprised of the following attributes.WEALTH: 20k (combined earth $ and mewman gold)WARFARE: Small army of 220 Skeletons-One officer: SUSAN MCMOOT (Formerly Honey Clodbottom)LEVEL 10 MEWMAN WARRIOR+10 Str+10 Dex+10 CON-4 CHA-4 INT*When put in command of Skeleton troops trying to accomplish a goal, they get advantage on their roll to succeed+Half of Susan's levelLAND: THE HOLE'S FLYING FORTRESS-It's a flying castle in a dead universe-too bad you can't get it out without Luna's Universal travelMAGIC: (Low)ANONYMOUS MCMOOT (Das you)Luna Webwillow (your mom)THE SAXOWAND: BUTTER JOHNSON (your implement of Jazz music intensifying)TECH: Low-steam-You have semi working electricity in the castle-With lots of bugs and experimental mechanisms-Wondervon could really use his toolsGood luck, friends.Stay blesst.L: "Oh, Anonymous."A: "Yeah?"L: "Do you know what tomorrow is?"A: "The day we take over the world?"L: "Eventually, dear. More importantly it's Saturday!"A: "Y-yeah?"L: "So you're going out."A: "I am?"L: "Oh yes.">Luna's smile>It warms your heart>It also freezes your lungsL: "We're going to go and have 'fun' ."bles
>>2524306>>2524306NEXT SESSION SATURDAY!7:00PMUSCENTRAL TIME!Beneath my blue exterior...an OCEAN of cursed images
>>2524318>an OCEAN of cursed images
>>2524306Dammit! I hate this format! First off we're doing forest's troll. As much as I infinitely want to go and give that Blue Bugger Glossaryck a piece of my mind, he'll still be there in a week. Janna might not. She has a potential time limit and glossy doesn't. We need to solve it now.As for the micro problems.Bow clearly has bugs, get him a monkey to pick them out for him. They're good at that.We need to obviously hack Echocreekcronicals.com and find out the true identity of who's running it.Go to Throne's R Us and get something super comfy, a recliner of some kind. With cup holders.Fucking, bust that coffin open! RIP it open ourselves! Simple! Or just get a crowbar and have bow lay on the other end of it.
>>2524300We gotta go off to help Janna out with some shit/ She's got a timelimit, the rest not so much
>>2524306>Forest's TollSave Janna. I want her a be a witchy commander in our future army. But right when that's taken care of, we go for Glossaryck.Ask around to get the source of the fanfiction. Someone has to know, or can lead us on the right track. Then we confront them ourselves.Assign some undead to walk Bow in Mewni. Can't think of much else other than getting a working sun for Luna's world.We could probably ignore the throne thing for now.See if Wondervon or Luna have anything to check what's in the coffin before we crack it open.
>>2524339>>2524296Oh, as for those two other things. Why don't we just do them all? Start a real economy, still get some income from our universal winnings, while also having our skelebois plunder earth ruins? And why don't we just ask Hek and the rangers if they know what's up while our bois shake down goons? I don't see why they gotta be mutually exclusive.
>>2524306>What is your empire going to do about money?-Adventure King (rely off your winnings from the universe)We Barbarian King now, fuck dealing with economy spreadsheets>CHOOSE ONE BIG ENCOUNTER FOR THE END OF THE WEEK-The Forest's TollFriends come first>Bow is still scratching a lotAsk Star if there's anyone in Mewni who can treat swamp drakes>Someone has been writing violently gay fanfiction about you and your bros from school>People have started to talk because of themREAD THEM, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ADD TO THE SPANK BANK>You do not have a throne in your throne room>Just a bean bag chair and a big screen TVSolution, upgrade to a big PLASMA screen TV and add a table for snacks and drinks with some extra seats. LAN parties anyone?>The skeletons tell you they found someone special when they were sent corpse raiding>It is sealed, however>In a solid iron coffin covered in chains and full of welded anglesDeal with this later>GUILT AND CONSCIENCEI really hope we can deal with Anon and Marco sometime soon. I want them to be friends again.
>>2524306UPDATING SHEETSWill do my voting later.
>>2524296>What is your empire going to do about money?-Seek living Subjects (to start a real economy with taxes and laws)>What about the Lizard?-Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo)>>2524300>CHOOSE ONE BIG ENCOUNTER FOR THE END OF THE WEEK-Missing Magic>>2524306>BowTake him to MewniThey have to have Vets or something right?>FanficsTalk to Sabrina and get information from her, she seems to know alot about these homo happenings.>ThroneLiterally not a problem>Iron CoffinFind out where they found it, and ask Luna why it would be sealed like this.
>>2524290>NEXT SESSION SATURDAY!Not sure what i expected but my balls feel tickled It's not a good feel
>>2524371>They have to have Vets or something right?They hunt Swamp Drakes as rites of passage and Star was disgusted by the thought of having one as a pet. I don't think any vet's gonna be able to treat him. Even then, mewman doctor's suck.
>What is your empire going to do about money?>Operation Gimme the LootWe need a steady supply of materials. That means we need a mine. Wondervon is a galaxy class master in mining, but he needs tools. We also need skelebois. This presents an opportunity. We put Wondervon in charge of a crew of boys, dressed up to appear as mortal beings with Susan to oversee it and keep tabs on wondervon. We allow him use of the squad to gather earth level tools, equipment, materials to get our tech up. Give him a starting budget of $5K but he can loot the rest. Minimal deaths and collateral damage. Slower is preferable to loud. Have him focus on getting tools for mining, power and a location for raw material. South American Jungle, Yukon, Africa. Various locals where we can work remote without harassment.>What about the Lizard?>An invitation to TeaShake down the monsters but more to send a message to Toffee that we are inviting him to talk. Mob boss to Mob boss. Also make sure we put our ear to the ground for information about Ludo. We can figure out what to do about it later after we find out some more intel and see if our invitation gets a response. Leave a skeleboi somewhere out in the swamps as a literal dead-drop.1/2
>>2524386>The encounter of the WeekMissing Magic BUT, send a text to Janna telling her that there is no rush on the path to power and that she has Psionic potential as well. We aren’t telling her what to do, but we want our star rogue to be at peace with her decisions. >HOW DO YOU RESOLVE (or do you) THE FOLLOWING CONCERNS>Bow is still scratching a lot>His leaves are falling offBow needs to be seen by a mewni vet, or someone with experience handling wild game like Drakes. Star’s father might be an excellent resource and an inroad to both getting bow Treated and meeting with Moon on the MHC. Ask Star if she knows anyone that can help with our sick son. She will be moved by our sad face.>Someone has been writing violently gay fanfiction about you and your bros from school>People have started to talk because of themIgnore the people whispering rumours. Any reaction against it will just make it worse. We are a king, the murmurings of peasants is beneath us. We do need to find out who is stalking us. Post a single fanfiction on the website. “Anon and the midnight stranger. Write a shitty story about us meeting our stalker by the mens room at midnight on whenever. End chapter one with McMoot waiting to tell the author the real secrets of Echo Creek. Leave them hanging so they meet us there.>You do not have a throne in your throne room>Just a bean bag chair and a big screen TVSpend 2 grand on shitty leftover meat, like tons of minced up bone and flesh used as cheap cattle feed. Use Meat is Mortar to turn it all into bone and leather furnishings.>The skeletons tell you they found someone special when they were sent corpse raiding>It is sealed, however>In a solid iron coffin covered in chains and full of welded anglesSave this one for last, gather our contingent of bois and Susan. Open the casket inside a cage and prepare for a fight.
>>2524355Also as for the money problem we need to get some living servants. Because it's more mon in the long run, and for finding the lizard we ask Hek.
>>2524306>Adventure King + Seek living Subjects I want a kingdom of pirates and warriors to go throughout the multiverse and plunder in the name of their King and Godmother.>Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo)>Missing Magic>Go to Mewni to get something to help Bow>Go to the cheerleader girl we talked to that one time to help with the fanfiction>Just do what Luna said and get a fucking sofa>Open the fucking box(Iron Coffin)
>>2524422So...you wanna be Malekith?>>2524393Boy you really think Janna is gonna listen? We need to be fucking affirmative here, we're not putting off something that has a time limit here that'll more than likely lead to shit times
>>2524383If not a Vet, there will be experienced hunters that know alot about the animals. If they cant "fix" it, they will be able to at least tell us what's up, so we can.
>>2524430>Boy you really think Janna is gonna listen? We need to be fucking affirmative here, we're not putting off something that has a time limit here that'll more than likely lead to shit timesNo, I hope it casts enough doubt for her to delay and come to us.
>>2524431Not like their gonna know shit considering whatever Bow got originated from earth and not Mewni considering he's literally never been to Mewni. And Mewggers don't know shit about earth.
>>2524433I'd rather not take any risks there
>>2524437What the fuck are you on about? Bow is a Mewman animal, one they spend alot if time hunting. They wouldn't be so ignorant of such a well known beast of their lands.Him being born on earth has shit to do with anything, and if it does, the mewman would be the most qualified people to confirm as such.
>>2524456Bow is a mewman animal, but he's lived all his life on earth. Meaning he has earth bugs. We know he has bugs because we literally saw them at the start of the season. Also mewggers are the worst in health care for other mewggers, so I don't see why they'd know anything about what's going on with Bow considering all they do is hunt Swamp Drakes as a rite of passage. They'd probably say "I dunno what's wrong with him, let's try putting him in the catapult to see what happens."
>>2524469We don't know what he has, your making assumptions.And even the most basic piss baby hunter gathers know shit about the things they hunt, especially when it comes to cultural/ritual hunting.The best thing to is just ask, and start from there instead of assuming we know what's wrong and making shit worse.
>>2524494Why dont we ask both a mewman forester and a human vet. We can pay the vet hush money or wipe out the memory. These are not exclusive
>>2524494>Bow lands on his back, sending crickets and frogs scattering from his foliage>They flee not too far before heading backA: "Damn parasites."L: "Better they stay on him than become an invasive progenitor species."A: "I -guess-."Actually I DO know. You're the one who assumes I don't when I do.
>>2524496I'm not sure what a human vet would know about a magical creature from another dimension, but as long as we are seeking info instead of making him sicker im cool with it.>>2524503I read that as a one off joke. The fucking gay frogs aren't making him sick.Either way, its better to check than assume we know how to fix it.
>>2524306>-Seek living Subjects (to start a real economy with taxes and laws)the more people we get, the more powerful our empire ,and by extension Anon, gets>-Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo, Your buddies in the Mewni Ranger's regiment)Hek is on the HMC, so she knows shit.>-The Forest's TollDon't fuck the goat Janna>You do not have a throne in your throne roomFIX THIS FUCKING NOW
>>2524306>What is your empire going to do about money?-Adventure King (rely off your winnings from the universe)This undead domain isn't too conducive to starting a burgeoning economy. And risking the Army when we could eventually be using that to find lands worth having a real economy in seems short sighted. Unfortunately, gotta rely on ourselves for now. >What about the Lizard?-Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo, Your buddies in the Mewni Ranger's regiment)Hunting and bounties on Monsters is kind of a Mewni specialty. And given time as a valuable resource, deferring to others' knowledge seems the most economical.>BIG ENCOUNTER-Missing MagicJanna seemed to tell us off pretty hard last time. Butting in would be just like us... but if Janna's being snippy directly with us, perhaps an intermediary is a better way to Assist. perhaps Jackie can lend a hand? She's wanted some action too... she's friends with Janna too. And if coming to the aide of friends is a priority, I can't help but believe Luna fills the number one slot in that priority list.>Bows ItchyWhen he was still in the egg, we were able to communicate through images and feelings. Maybe bow himself can tell us what's bothering him? Outside of that, giving your pets proper baths and grooming is an aspect of maintenance that seems fairly typical, though for a plant covered creature like Bow, a controlled burn of excess shrubbery (and possible parasitic creatures?) Might be necessary>ThroneLow priority. And fuck it, it's comfy right. The only subjects we see right now are our undead constructs and minions. We haven't grown to the point of earning a more qualified throne room. Feels almost like CIV 1.>CoffinCheck for markings? If we got time to deal with it, bust it open. If not, get Wondervon to look into opening it.
>>2524296>>2524300>>2524306>EconomyAll three. The planet that currently belongs to Loozar will be the perfect place to gather living subjects and to mine once we take over. I propose we do so militarily and not through their customs. Killing our way to the top seems easy enough, but once we do that, we'll have a swarm of other foreigners looking to kill us for an easy kingdom. With all previous lieutenants dead, they'll all have a straight shot at us, meaning we'll have to defend the throne constantly until we can find replacements.>The LizardContact our known sources while Susan takes some men to shake down swamp monsters. Have her bring back some alive.>Big EncounterThe Forest's Toll. I don't want Janna getting GOATED in her lust for power.>BowGo talk to Star on that one and hopefully have her refer us to a drake expert if she doesn't know what's wrong with Bow.>GaynonWhile in school, start mentally scanning people for extremely gay thoughts about you. Do this on the way to class and on lunch.>ThroneNot a priority right now.>CoffinMentally scan the coffin and if you don't sense anything too scary, have a squad of skeletons open it in a secure location. With you and additional skeletons on standby to rapidly respond.
Screw the throneGet an ominously large couchIt worked for that one anime dude
>>2524296>What is your empire going to do about money?Adventurer king, but also send some skeletons out with Wonderbread, and Susan supervising, to somewhere nice and remote and do some mining. We barely ever call on the skele nous anyways, may as well have them make some money rather then just sit around on their hands at home.>What about the Lizard?Toffee’s annoying, but we have other issues right now, so >Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo, Your buddies in the Mewni Ranger's regiment)Won’t inconvenience us to much, and has a decent chance of success.>CHOOSE ONE BIG ENCOUNTER FOR THE END OF THE WEEK>The Forest’s TollConquering a war planet or recovering our spells is nice, but we’re on a bit more of a timer with Janna, so best to solve that first.
>>2524306Oh yes, and for the throne.>Our throne shall be the mightiest of beanbags, lined in gold, and of unparalleled softness and size. We shall look forth commandingly over our subject surrounded by the greatest of comforts, as befits the conquering king of the universe.
>>2524290>>2524296>>2524300>>2524306>What is your empire going to do about money?Mine mine MINE!! I mean, We Been doing adventure King this whole time, and we still will be going to do that, but a nice, stead source of resources sound nice. Delegation is the key to be a good leader. Also, our army is relatively useless in a fight when we are present. Let them mine, resurrect them if they die, and call Star/Janna and Jackie if is something we cant handle by ourselves.>>What about the Lizard?Seek Intel. It is better a lot of people looking around for us, especially if they already know the multiverse them us, them we looking around for some info. Also we will inevitably cross paths with the enemy goons anyway, so why waste our time?>>Big Quest of The WeekThe Forest Toll.All of the quest are important, but Janna seens the one that is the more concerning in short term. I mean if the girl want to fuck the goat, let her, but if him want to eat her soul rather them her ass, we should intervene, even if she get pissed at us.>>Bow ScratchingStar i guess? Or Hekapoo. Heck even the nice Officer we met when we got the scales for our armor. If no one of them can help, we look for a magic vet, probably at Quest Mart.>>The Gay fiction~~Make it real~~. Ask to the bros to seek the one who is releasing those, and them mind read the suspects. Or even set a bait, like going out with Justin to see who follow us.>>ThroneShit if I know. Maybe we can go to Fifi dimension and see if we can make a commission. Or maybe steal a throne. >>SkellyBoiz and The Mistery Of The CoffinAsk Mommy to teach us a spell to see through. Eventually use it to see other people ~~and Marco delicious crippled~~ butt.
>>2524306>>2524756>Someone has been writing violently gay fanfiction about you and your bros from schoolLook to the original post dates. When did this all start happening, and were there any events around that time that would have caused a particular student to want to guerilla warfare our reputation?Any chance to go thought police while at school? If they keep producing, it sounds like something the perpetrator constantly think about, bcc beyond surface thoughts. If not us... maybe Sab and her skills could be used? Sounds like a good mini-training exercise for her...She seems interested in the topic overall... and if she "doesn't believe them", maybe she'd be willing to help us try and get it to stop?
>>2525086They could be bashing our reputation, true, or they could just have a disturbing obsession with us that involves writing a lot of disturbing fan fiction. I think I’d prefer the former, really.
>>2525187>>2525086>>2525070>>2524993>>2524989>>2524919>>2524830>>2524756>>2524552>>2524516>>2524503>>2524496>>2524494>>2524469>>2524456>>2524445>>2524433>>2524431>>2524430>>2524422>>2524415>>2524393>>2524386>>2524383>>2524380>>2524371>>2524368>>2524367>>2524366>>2524363>>2524355>>2524339>>2524319Just to clarify.Quest options are not rules we have to abide to, just guidelines.If you have a different idea on what to do or how to solve a situation you can suggest it, and see if others support it. You don't have to restrict yourself by picking just one option, though you have to figure out a way in which we can implement them all of which you pick with the time we got.
>>2524306Alright, we ought to first focus on ADVENTURE KING for right now, but with an eye in the future towards SEEK LIVING SUBJECTS. I'm open to being convinced, but I don't think we could properly keep our subjects safe if we're getting our shit pushed in by two-timing bank robbers.Next, get some intel on the Lizard. We haven't seen Hekapoo in a hekaminute, so we should used this opportunity to also catch up with her and look into some sweet, sweet quest hooks. The rangers also seem like the kind of people who have their ears to the ground on Mewni. Additionally, ask both Hekapoo and the ranger bros for advice on what to do with Bow.Speaking of Bow, I also like >>2524756 's idea about trying to communicate with Bow mentally to see what the problem is.For the big dick encounter, let's do MISSING MAGIC, as the whole missing spells situation is some high-grade bullshit. I understand the concern about Janna, which is why I'd suggest we really try to take her along with us. Maybe we can solve two birds with one stone? Impart some wisdom from Luna? I also really hope that the war planet stays open in the future, as I really want to utilize Wondervon in helping to create bad-ass army, flowing into being able to find and protect subjects.For the other small issues:I don't know, team up with Jackie to get the bottom of the fanfiction during the week. Can likely get some info from Sabrina, so try to meet up with her ass well.My dude, just find and take the best sofa in all the multiverse. Hekapoo, looking you for some help here...Get Wondervon to investigate the coffin, but don't crack that shit open yet. See what Luna thinks and wait until after the end-of-week encounter to unseal it. Could be a fight at hand, so be prepared.Any thoughts?
>>2525381Uhm. Well, In that case, i Think we should just focus on Janna. Also ask Mother about alternate power sources for humans. Maybe not outright give it to Janna, since her main gripe is her achieving things on her own, but at least giving her a direction and leading a hand. Heck, maybe a one-thread spin-off with her and Jackie in a adventure.Other than that, and it could happen in paralel, we should focus on fortifying the castle. It is something we should do before we are taken by suprise in a invasion.
>>2524306>-Mine Mine MINE>-Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo, Your buddies in the Mewni Ranger's regiment)>-The Forest's Toll>-Try to find out more about raising a swamp drake>-Ask Sabrina about the fuckfiction>-Send skellies to find a MASSIVE GEMSTONE to carve a throne out of>-Check on this spoopy coffin
>>2524306>EconomyI'd say all three... But we may as well start with mining, as it's the most accessible resource we have atm. Those earnings should help kickstart a real economy in the future. We could even start a simple business utilizing our undead labor to cut lawns n' shit in the town? Just dress em up a bit and make it a "themed" service.>The LizardWe stick to our trusted sources who know what not to ask about. We want to ask about the lizard without the lizard knowing we know about him funding mercs. Shaking down in Mewni will send ripples straight to his ears. May as well make him work for his information than throw it at him.>Big EncounterTroll is the most pressing atm. We don't act on it now, and she might dig herself deeper into some shit. >BowProbably just ask Star or a Mewni contact. This most likely has to do with the fact his kind lives off sunlight and he lives on a dead world without it. >GaynonNot particularly important, but could probably ask Alfonzo to figure out what's going on for a favor of similar magnitude in the future. Finding out who's writing shitty fanfiction isn't equivalent to beatdowns or anything, and shouldn't take him too much effort.>ThroneLets just grab a sofa-chair for now until we find something useful>CoffinWondervon prob has some scanning equipment we can use. Chains and welding implies that the thing raised concerns of it coming out of the coffin at one time in the far past... unless he was just a metal rocker or something. Seeing inside there is probably just as important as establishing contact to if it's alive
>>2525551>This most likely has to do with the fact his kind lives off sunlight and he lives on a dead world without it.What is it with this sudden idea that Bow's not getting enough sunlight because he lives on Mewmus when we all explicitly voted on having him spend his time on earth which turned him into a bush. >Where has Bow been most of the time?>Allowed to roam the DARK WORLD Mewmus>Kept inside the Castle>Allowed to play on EarthHe has been getting his vitamin D, he has been getting his plant life and he's addapted because of it. If he spent tons of time in THE HOLE he'd look a lot more metal and wouldn't even be itchy because of it. He'd just need to eat more meat.
Chill session...begins.https://youtu.be/BPviDed3JyM>Saturday starts early>Mainly because you don't sleepL: "You should get your rest, darling."A: "I know I should.">You curl both knees up to your chest>Lay your head down on Luna's lap>Man>Full sized Luna sure has a lot of lapA: "I can't."L: "You could try.">The doting sours you a littleA: "I won't.">Luna clicks her tongue against her teethL: "So brash.">You snuggle further downA: "Too much to do. I need to think. I have to be ready. I have to know what to do.">Your fretting quiets down after a while>You fade into something like sleep>A grappling match with your loose pillows and sheets>A Fitful, slobber and sweat covered sauna session>Your eyes open when your guts finally get the nerve to demand food>Luna's still there>She's tiny again however>Perched at the top of the bean bag throne you nested in>Still entirely awake>Your eyes and hers stay connected for a half dozen deep, chest filling breaths>You don't need to communicate out loud that much anymore>Although a few things become obvious>She let you not sleep>She didn't even use that passivity spellA: "Still wanna have fun today?">You grate through mucus and inflammationL: "We'll be together.">Luna waves her hand>Turning her hat into a domed leather helmet>Her eyes vanish behind a set of mirrored black goggles>Because she knew you wanted to ride your bikeL: "The fun is assured."cont
>>2525694>>2525694>BRAOOOHHHhmm!!!>There's a trance you discover out there>On the roads>This bike was built to on the fly to chase down a hell train in purgatory>The remnants of that old steam driven monster built the bones of your castle's creature comforts>You used to smile when you thought about that day>Now you're grim>Dead set>Determined>Without sleep the world is easier to process however>The bright orange sun that blooms on the horizon burns only slightly>You're more aware of the cool morning air across your arms and chest>Of the way your rib-cage high back seat shakes as you accelerate and stop>Nobody else is on the highways>Only a few cars pass on the cliffside roads>When you hit the ocean-boulevard is when you finally get the chance>BRRRAAHAHHHMMMAMAMAMAMAMAM>To open her the hell upA: "Ha...">Your hair whips like auburn fire>You have to clench your lips to keep them from flapping out like a bloodhound's jowls>You stand up with your hands on the front of the bike>Leaning into the wind>The next corner comes and you barely make it through>Your ear almost touches the pavement when you slide>It's perfectA: "It's all perfect.">You look out at the water on the next straight-away>At the sun just escaping the edge of the ocean where it slept>Luna's on your shoulder>With one hand wrapped in your side-burnL: "Today we'll be exactly what we make of it.">Good>You'll fill it to the brim>You'll stuff it til it breaks>This world has kept joy from you too long>Teased you with happiness>No more>You're free now>Free to seek joy>Free to take happiness>You want it all>Some is not enough>You want what's yours>...and revenge for the joy that life dared deny you.>You feel alive>Also like dogshit>You stop for an energy drink>Then take a nap right afterward>Laid against your bike right at the beach's border>Your heart nearly beats out of your chest in your sleep>7/10 not bad for a rough evening
>>2525694Ey, didn't think we were on till Saturday. Cool.
>>2525702>>2525702https://youtu.be/LnzYG0ZkrXg>Later on>Closer to Noon>You're alone in the castle>Well>As alone as you think you get>You pace back and forth in your bedroom>Muscles is in the corner>Lifting Bow for his gains>Luna is downstairs somewhere>You can feel her cooking>Just as she can feel you >Euugh>She's really feeling youL: "Need something?">Your brain is itchy>Your foot won't stop bouncing>Muscles puts Bow down to look at you>Because you seem like you're tweaking>Which is fair>Because you've just come to the realization>That you haven't fapped in almost a year>A: "Hey uh. Mom?">L: "Yes?">A: "So our uh...psychic connection.">L: "The very manifestation of our unbreakable bond.">A: "Y-yeah that. So could we uh...like...close it?">L: "Close it?">A: "Like. Could you uh...close your third eye? Or-...something.">L: "No.">A: "N-no?">L: "That isn't how that works, dear. We're both psionic. I due to my presence as a spiritual and magic force. You due to the awakened nature of your neurological processes.">A: "So I just-">L: "We're open books now, you and I.">A: "Oh god.">L: "Two bright stars that no wall or barricade can keep apart.">A: "I'm gonna die from this.">L: "From what?">You grab Muscles' wrist>Drag him to the door>Yes>You drag your own right arm by the wrist>He squirms like a salmon sized earth worm>Bow follows as you call>You reward him by pushing his butt out the door too>WHAM!>You close the door to keep your right hand from getting back inA: "Yep. My elbow's broken.">No time for that>You fumble with your belt>You were a righty before>Maybe if you're fas-L: "I see you."A: "AH!">You look around the room>Eyes wide>Mind frantic from lack of sleep and repressed sexual deviancy>Jackie's swimsuit pictures>Janna's hair fresh out of her hat>Sabrina's armpits>It's all in your head>Driving you mad>Your sweat>Clench your teeth>Reach for your pants to pull them back upL: "I didn't say you had to stop."A: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!">There is no release in the house of McMoot
>>2525915.....You know what, we might as well just accept it and ask muscles to do a solid and make a mouth to use. At this point we might as well go all in on the degeneracy, what with our mother never not watching us fap
>>2525915ANON DON'T STOP KEEP FAPPING SHOW YOUR DOMINANCE!!! fap to luna if you must
>>2525915>inb4 Luna gives Anon a pep talk
>>2525915Bite the bullet and jerk it, while Muscles and Luna are watching. Maintain eye contact with both of them. Do it.
>>2525915We control everything else through sheer force of will... maybe we can will ourselves to sexual climax and relief?
>>2525915>>2525915>After an hour or so you come to terms with the fact you'll never be alone again>Still you crave some proper company>Not just presences>You need an embrace>You need peace>PeaceA: "Jackie."https://youtu.be/Z9e7K6Hx_rY?list=RDMMZ9e7K6Hx_rY>SHHRRRIIIIp!>Even if she was just your mind's idolatrous focus for the past couple of hours>Jackie -does- things to you>Her voice shuts out the ones that bounce in between your ears>Her hands stop your nerves from burning>You caught a quick shower>Snagged a coffee from that gas station/middle eastern food joint>Got a twisted blue-berry powerade for your girl and hit the spot she was most likely to be>The Skatepark???: "Hey, Lookout!">Some careless kid nearly crashes into you>Muscles slaps their board off course>They stop skating and learn to fly???: "AAAAAAHHHH I KNEW THE CONSEQUENCES BUT SOUGHT GLORY ANYWAAYYYyyyys"A: "Where is she."L: "Hm. Her not being in a usual haunt is unusual. The girl loves structure. Normalcy."A: "That's not true. She's an explorer."L: "She's always over prepared and announces her explorations."A: "So?"L: "So it's more like a planned expedition then, isn't it?"A: "Jackie! Hey! JACKIE!?">Your voice cracks a couple times>Not sleeping has left your throat hoarse>The energy drinks did not help>You strain your eyes>The sun is so bright out here>Some jackass actually runs into you>Spins you aroundA: "AY! WATCH IT YOU INFECTED ASS LEGION!"J: "Anon?">You look upA: "Jackie!"J: "Haha, Anon. Get outta the bowl, dude."A: "I- What?">Oh>Right>The bowl>Where everyone goes skateborts inY: "Oh hey.">Wh-Y: "It's that guy that keeps following you.">WHAT!?>It's her>That girl>The smug one>With the Afro>...and the bright gold sweater>Jackie laughs at her comment>You see red>Tunnels>Shallow graves>A set of pliers rammed point-first into a certain white gauged earJ: "Yellow, you've met Anon right?"Y: "All I know is he doesn't let you get away with nothin'."J: "Anon, c'mon. Can you get out of there alri-">You slap Muscles down and activate Starwalk>As a result, you essentially rocket out of the bowl>Then float down, hoodie and cloak billowing>Jackie grabs your hands and pulls you down to earthJ: "Showoff."Y: "So. Do you never take that thing off or~ ?"A: "It's my cloak."Y: "Oh my gooahd are you like...one of the Pottermoore fanatics?">You don't read situations well>You tend to fly off the handle>Which is exactly why you're not slapping this stranger alreadyA: "I own a castle.">You are howeverA: "...and I'm here cause I want to show my girlfriend my castle.">Flexin'cont
>>2525915>>2525915Y: "What world is this boy livin' in, Blue?"A: "Blue?"J: "Anon's got his own style, Yellow.">The sweatered one smirksY: "He's got his head up his ass.">Muscles informs you he is certain he could fit the girl's head in HER ass>You pat him down>Jackie seems to be doing the same to her...friend?J: "Don't push it. He's also got a way of growing on you if you're cool."Y: "If -I'm- cool?"A: "What a world that would be.">You notice her lack of boardA: "You don't skate. Why are you here?">Yellow raises a brow at your comment>Then power spins>Before clacking her heelies togetherY: "I'm here to style on broke bois.">She twirls one more time>Poses>Looks you in the eyeY: "Check.">You fume for a second before Jackie grabs your shouldersJ: "Heyeheyeh.">She draws your forehead to hersJ: "Right here.">When you get back to her you're a bit embarassedA: "I wanna yank her guts out."J: "Murder one of my friends out of jealousy and I'll break up with you. I think that's fair diplomacy, don't you?">How is she ok with the way you work?>You look up at LunaA: "Told you she was adventurous."J: "I'mma go."Y: "Aww, boo. Don't let walkin' the dog get in the way of a good time."J: "I'll catch you later, Yellow. How's tomorrow for you?">Yellow rolls her neckY: "I might be busy."J: "Well, I hope you're not.">Jackie grinsJ: "Nobody else can keep up with me in the pipe. I need some more practice.">You've seen enoughJ: "wh-HEy!"A: "I am taking my mermaid.">You have picked Jackie up by the thiccness>Muscles has coiled around both of her thighsA: "...and my leave.">You portal back homeY: "Bye, Blue! Bye, Blue's Burden.">You let your middle finger linger behind youhttps://youtu.be/CvWqZ79GnZA>Once you get her to the castle>Shut off from all the stupid distractions>Things work out>You can finally get that peace you needJ: "Whoahhh! Dood!">If Jackie would just stop screamingJ: "It's huge! So much space to work with a-">She opens every door you pass>Pokes in her head>One of them slams itself shut and growlsJ: "Feisty."B: "Barofh! BORK! BArk!"J: "Bow?">Your drake nearly throws the two of you over>He can't decide which face to lick>You both get covered in healthy grass>Later on you catch Wondervon watching from the basementA: "Hey.">SLAM goes the dungeon door>You open it back upA: "You can uh...you can come meet Jackie if you want."W: "..."A: "I'm not -ashamed- of you or anything.">Jackie takes to him wellJ: "So like...are you a hyper evolved mole from the future orr?"W: "My people are called Siltoids."J: "Siltoids. Like the dirt?"W: "Ya."J: "I love how dumb the Multiverse is."W: "Vow, rude. Zat vasn't an invitation to be racist, you vapid little Strumpet."J: "Didn't you try to kill my boyfriend but ended up being his science slave?"W: "W-well ya but vee ver"J: "buh-buh-buh Bitcht mode."W: "Vell I nEvar!"cont
>>2526457>>2526457>After grinding down the main staircase>Making sure your fridge doesn't electrocute people visiting for pizza rolls>You and Jackie both realizeJ: "There's not much to -do- here.">Huh>She's right>Empty world is emptyJ: "Bet you could throw some wicked parties in here though.">People>In YOUR dark fortress?A: "Never."J: "I bet you used to say that about -all- human interaction."A: "Used to?">Jackie gets you convinced you need some more sun>So after a ponder or two>You leash up your Drake>Mount your gf on his back>Then ride>Specifically to the nearby dog parkcont>Bow's itching only seems to be localized on his bush-like foliage>It drives him nuts seemingly at random>The big green beasty spends any moment not scratching in pure rapture>You and Jackie both get to watch him bound along with normal earth dogs>Much to the horror of certain soccer moms>A child comes up to Bow and reaches for his horns>Bow does not notice the child's weight as his attention is grabbed by a dog humping someone's prosthetic legC: "WEEE!"SM: "JAYNON! NO!">Bow stole the leg>Ate the dog>You had to portal inside of him to retrieve it>Ungrateful little asshole bit you>So you fed him back to your living BushA: "See that kids?">The children only know screamingA: "That's Hubris."
>>2526457>J: "buh-buh-buh Bitcht mode."Jackie continues to be a blessing
>>2526457Jackie and Wondervon. That was a pleasure I truly was not expecting. Bless you, Quest.
Parties not a bad idea actually.Aside from all the murder beasts anyway.Also how the fuck did we never bring jackie or Janna over? What the fuck is wrong with interlude us???But yea, I think Anon is more of a pizza and videogames kind of party guy honestly. So that could be cool. Or we could do some "expeditions"
>>2526465>>2526465>After litigating at the park>With a few death threats>Jackie calming people in regards to your death threats>A walk on the beach with your doggo and lady>A cheeky smoochJ: "If you'd just chill out, Anon."A: "I can chill.">Jackie takes your face in her hands>Her favorite pose with youJ: "Show me, and I'll probably never get tired of you.">He smirksJ: "MMmmbut I can sure make you pretty tired."A: "I'm -always- tired."J: "Mood killed. Date over. You big spiky doof.">Jackie smooched you some more>Muscles liked the palm ones>You smooched her back>Found out Jackie has sensitive cheeks>Because you bit herA: "I really gotta control myself."L: "What's a love bite or two between two hellion youths?"A: "Grounds for assault charges."L: "You cannot be put in jail if the society seeking to jail you can't catch you."A: "Mom."L: "The police are -not- strong enough."A: "Mama pls">You are alone now>Restless in your castle>Bow tried to eat the beach life guard because he was like 5'1" and kind of furry>So you've punished him with a night locked out of your bedroom or the skeleton's barracks>Nothing to cuddle>No one to chew on>Fresh hellA: "I'm still pent up.">You're exaughsted>Worn down to the bone>You barely slept>This day has been so full of goodness>Yet still>Your skull is abuzz>Your breath short>Your muscles won't relax>You roll onto your stomach>Open your phone>Tap your usually neglected Headbook App>The first post you see>IMAGE POST FROM JUSTIN ARMBERG>A picture of a squat rack>PHAT with plates>4 on each side to be exact>The overlay caption reads"PR2D2 weboutta do dis"A: "Justin...">You mull over if you could re-attach a snapped spine>You prepare to comment "Snab City">Then pause>Muscles pulls away from the phone>Looks you in the eye with his finger tipsA: "Huh...yeah.">He has a good point>You could use a good sweat>You comment "Want a Spotter?">Justin calls you back in 2 minutes flatJu: "Brahj!">He's pantingJu: "I'm at the school gym. Coach gave me the keys."A: "Has Moob already stashed beer in it?"Ju: "Haha, how fast can you get here?">Which is when your portal opens up>Out you step in all your sleep deprived gloryA: "I wanna lift things.">You flex>Well>Muscles flexes>He can't get tired>You kind of just pose>While your body sags in placeA: "Then put them DOWN!"Ju: "You gonna lift in jeans?"A: "YYYyyyeehhhhhhsss?"Ju: "Hardcore. Let's rock!"https://youtu.be/ashe_4phX_Y>You've never even heard of most of these exercisesJu: "Chest flies!"A: "Is that a disease!?"Ju: "No but it'll make you SIHHhhK!"cont
>>2526984>>2526984>Every exercise is a new hellJu: "Time for those PULL DOWNS! I even struggle with these."A: "So it's ok if I just-"Ju: "No, you can't just pull the rope.">You pull 15 pounds more than the rope>20 times>Then fall off the machine>Justin drops from the wide-grip pull-up bar>Sets the machine to 65lb>Then pounds out 25 repsA: "Fuck my life."Ju: "No quit."A: "Is your dialogue mispelled or did you just turn into a caveman?"Ju: "NO. QUIT. IN. ME.">Justin proceeds to smash all of his lifts>He spots you on most of yoursA: "Justin...help!"Ju: "Not on this one, Anondo.">He kneels down to your quivering kneesJu: "A man and his deadlift weight are sacred.">He pats the bar loaded up with more plates than you've even eaten off of>A whole 3 10 pounders on each sideJu: "This is allll you."A: "It's two of me."Ju: "Anon."A: "I'm out numbered by it."Ju: "Dude. Come on. You've slung guys who weigh three times this."A: "No.">You point to MusclesA: "HE has.">Muscles nods his wrist at JustinA: "Look.">You let Muscles loose>He picks up the bar and twirls it like a batonJu: "That...isn't how bodies work."A: "Don't fat shame me, bro."Ju: "You're skinnyfat tho."A: "Bro."Ju: "That's one step from ottermode! You're almost perfected."A: "My mom thinks I'm fine as I am.">Justin drapes an arm over you and ya boi>Ya right hand manJu: "Your mommy's not here, my dude.">You gaspA: "What!?">Justin has to stop you from yanking your pants down in delerium>He explains his metaphor as best as someone who doesn't know exactly what a metaphor is can>You calm down>Hit the Dead lift 1 time>Then passed out>Eventually you awaken>Justin's handing you his water bottleJu: "Good hustle, my dude."A: "Am I swole yet?"Ju: "Haha, what? Anon. You did one fourth of a workout."A: "ONE FOURTH!?"Ju: "Maybe if you take a split for three days a week. In a couple month-">You left before Justin finished his sentence>Portaled home>Ate seventeen bags of chips>Then slept for 13 hoursL: "Goodnight, darling.">The sensation of Luna's finger brushing your ear>Ghost like>Electric>Keeps you at peaceL: "Your strength will come. From greater places. Flesh is just-">You snort in your sleep>Luna's hand passes through you>Disintegrates into pink glitter>She pulls it back>Examines the hollow stump as it reformsL: "Irritatingly necessary."SESSION END!NEXT LIVE SESSION STILL SATURDAY!7:00pm US CENTRAL TIME!Oh the fun.That is to come.I'll see you quit.Before I'm done.You paint too much.You overstroke.You lack the nerve.I'll watch you choke.stay blesstLove, Questhttps://youtu.be/3bNITQR4Uso
>>2526986We even got to see Justin again!! Sweet! But shit, at what cost. Is there an unspoken 'exhaustion' system at play here, as well?
>>2524296>Empire Funds-Seek Living Subject+Adventure KingThe first one is finding the resource that keeps giving, the other can be used as needed if we happen to find some wonderful shinies.>Lizards and YouShould check in and touch base with some of allies Hekapoo would be a good start for one.>The Forest's TollYeaaaah, no we are not having Janna yo manna bo Banna get fucked by goat dude, literally in this case, though I feel like we need to 'TALK' with Janna about why we are concerned. She can go through with it if she feels like it, but man oh man does it seem like a really bad deal.
>>2524306Resolving the Small Things in life>Bow Talk to them Ranger dudes maybe they have a zoology thing, or pending that get that boi a flea collar.>PAST SINS II: ANONXMARCOXTOMThis needs to be burnt or at least just answered in a way that plays off us well, I was thinking simply reading some of it and just giving it honest critic reviews, if someone WANTS to write these things, then by gawd at least write it well!>Thrones for GodsI'm actually chill with a beanbag chair and swanky tv for our throne room.>Special Surprise InsideOk Time to see if we just found Alucard, cuz iff its the crimson fuckers there be some fuckery going on here, see if there is anything else to note on the coffin or not and if there isn't use some MAJIKS to try looking inside can't be that hard right?
Get bow some Ladybug swarmsProbably Aphids all up in his steez
>>2524306>big encounterI would go with war planet, but only just to get the tools, not to conquer the coloseam of gladiators, as soon as we get the tools the next best one to do would be the missing magic because it lets us do more things in the future, plus I don't think we talked to glosaryck in a long time.>bow scratchingsee if questbuy has a veternarean sservice or take bow to one that will see him.>fanfictionIf you or anyone talks about it that makes you gay because you read it because you were interested about two people of the same sex having coitus.Miss me with that gay shit.>no throne roomnot important yet, keep the bean bag and tv for a chill throne>coffinhave them bring it to the castle for storage>money problemmining,invest some human or other currency money into long-term investments from earth,mewni or questbuy and collect the interest.>LizardI feel like anon would go to the goons instead of known sources because he's a bad dood, plus it's easy as we can just ask anyone we beat up about him.
>>2526986>>2524296>>2524300>>2524306ALRIGHT. TIME FOR MYSELF TO VOTE.>>What is your empire going to do about money?While I really don't see why we couldn't do all three eventually. I think we should concentrate now on-Seek living Subjects (to start a real economy with taxes and laws)Since it'll allow us to not only delegate things a little, but also get recognition from other countries.>Adventure King (rely off your winnings from the universe)will come naturally as we do our aventures.>-Mine Mine MINE (Plunder the earth and ancient places. Risks your army, but the dead don't have living expenses)Seems like a great idea once we have set up a system where we can collect the souls of our dead citizens and have a constant supply of corpses, though I'm not sure how popular that idea would be with the ones still living.>What about the Lizard?>-Seek intel from known sources (Hekapoo, Your buddies in the Mewni Ranger's regiment)We should seek intel with Hekapoo AND Omni., since we know that Hog dude was actually from an entirely different reality, Omni ought and Hek could do from her Dimensional contacts.>>CHOOSE ONE BIG ENCOUNTER FOR THE END OF THE WEEKUgh. Thise one is a doozy.All of these three are really important to us. Luna's missing Magic seems like a real trouble, and we need those Magics also to be able to interrogate the soul of Hog's friend. If he realized we took he souls we might be in even greater trouble that anticipated.War planet could be really profitable, and we need Wondi's tools.I don't want Janna doing something she doesn't want to do just to get something she wants. I want to help her, and I certainly don't want someone taking advantage of her when we could be helping her instead.I say.>The Forest's TollHelping our friend In need take priority. We'll just have to ask Wondi and Luna to wait a little.>Bow is still scratching a lot>His leaves are falling offWe can probably consult with Hek or a biologist expert on Mewni about this. Hekw as the one to inform us on Swamp Drakes in the first place and may know more bout them.>Someone has been writing violently gay fanfiction about you and your bros from school>People have started to talk because of themWho gives a shit what people say? They don't know you for shit. Besides, we've done fetishising of other people ourselves, you little rapist.>You do not have a throne in your throne roomAs long as we don't have important guests this is a non-issue.>>a solid iron coffin covered in chains and full of welded anglesInvestigate it when you got the chance. We can check if we mind-read something from inside, and we can ask them where they found it. Also consult Luna.
>>2532403To clarify. In:>>What is your empire going to do about money?I vote for >-Seek living Subjects (to start a real economy with taxes and laws)For legitimacy and reliability, and >>Adventure King (rely off your winnings from the universe)Since we'll be doing that already.>-Mine Mine MINE (Plunder the earth and ancient places. Risks your army, but the dead don't have living expenses)Seems useful, but we need our Skelies doing other things right now, and I'd actually rather have Wondervon's machines do the digging once we get him his tools back.
MEGA RESOLUTION POST!...START!https://youtu.be/yHuLdRawmEg>There's no sun in your world>Only the light from your eyes>When they snap the fuck openL: "Did you enjoy your rest?"A: "I did."L: "Are you ready now?">L: "Ready to exact your will on this undeserving reality?">You sit up>Roll your tongue across the coarse, unbrushed texture of your teeth>SMackA: "After. I. Shower.">BOOM>The day starts with some serious house cleaning>The skeletons are dusting and rearranging>Fuck breakfast>Fuck time>Luna makes you a cup of coffee from the springwater you're stealing from the school's bathroom sinks>While you sip you argue with the laws of physics and sense>To make a call>CALL WITH HEKAPOOA: "Aye."H: "Who is this? I can't see your face in my phone."A: "It's yaboi."H: "For the last TIME! Either get a DNA TEST (good luck with that shit, I'm a demon) or fuck. Off. You're not getting a dime outta m-"A: "It's Anonymous."H: "...Oh."A: "What do you know about Lizards?">Hekapoo tells you there used to be a nation of Monsters>They were a serious powerhouse in the magic world>Not just because they had the largest army of magical creatures anyone had ever gone toe to toe with>Not just because they somehow allied primordial races like giants, Ogres, Drakonoids, and Witches from all manner of dread underground horror corners>...but their leadersH: "Were invincible."A: "Psh. The boasting of a Ligger. Everything has a weakness."H: "They didn't for a long time. Eventually Queen moon taught herself a spell that could keep their leader from regenerating all his wounds."A: "So she killed him?"H: "Nah. Just blew his finger off."A: "That sounds...controlled."H: "Unimpressed?"A: "Disgusted by weakness."H: "Hey. She's the Queen now."A: "Was this Lizard guy's name Toffee?"H: "..."A: "Cause he sent trouble my way."H: "To earth?"A: "To -my- part of earth."H: "He could be making a move for the princess."A: "Hey, let's not forget this is about m-"H: "We'll find him. If he's out there we'll find him."A: "I want his ass."H: "Official business only, kid."A: "Hey! You can't stonewall me outta official b-"H: "I can and I will and I PROMISE it's for your own good leave this to the inter-dimensional freaks and royalty.">Click>Little>BoyedA: "BITCH!"cont
>>2533738>>2533738>How dare she?A: "How DARE she!?">Muscles loves your anger>His fist shakes as your nearly pulverize your phone>You're not CHILD anymore>You're a princeA: "Soon I'll be a fucking KING!">You flop back down>Look at your "throne">Of a beanbag chair>Several soda and a fatass TV still flickering with meme compilations>and see NO REASON you should be deniedA: "I'll deal with that fuckin' fanfiction bullshit ne-">Oh>Your phone>Is RIP>So when you go back to school>You glide through the halls>Your mind snatching out everything that passes by>Tests>Girls>Boys>Tests>Girl AND boys>Useless>Pointless>Then you hit a blank spot>You pause>Feel at it>Then turnA: "Sabrina."S: "Anon? H-hey! Did you need something f-from me?">You've been recalling Sabrina's existence more and more as of late>She's mousy>Indiscreet>Even as you go over the mountain of scratched notebook papers you've amassed>Lists>PossibilitiesA: "Shit, I gotta have Wondy check that coffin out."S: "Anon?"A: "Luna. Send some of the bone boyz to drag that coffin on Wondervon's desk. Make him...I dunno Science it or something so we can see inside."L: "Ah, to Science."S: "Anon. Hello?"A: "What? What do you want?"S: "Y-...you wanted something from me?"A: "Oh yeah! Yeah.">You think at herA: "I want you to spy for me.">You quickly and unquestioningly take the way she just tears up and shakes from foot to shoulder>As a yes>You instruct her to scan everyone's thoughts>Just like you do to hers>To find who's been writing that fanfiction>If she gets a lead>She's to tell you right away>Brittany interrupted you before you could say thank youBr: "Sab, c'mon. I've got three nail appointments and you need to meet the guy taking you to the dance.">That bitch>So busy she barely notices the girl helping her outA: "Cunt.">She didn't even ask Sabrina if she was ok>Girl still looked sick as hellcont
>>2533744>>2533744L: "Ding ding.">You look to your MomL: "That's your reminder alarm?"A: "...fffooorr?"L: "For your Dog's health condition."A: "OH!">You portal to Mewni>Strut out into the swamps where you first got Bow>Walk right up the alchemist and blacksmith who told you so much about Drakes>Then realize you didn't bring Bow at allA: "Damnit damnit damnit damnit.">You schwing home>Find him digging a hole in the floor>The stone floorA: "Bad dog! Now c'mon we're going for a walk.">Bow heard walk>Say>No>More>You meet a friendly Mewman Botanist named NickodeemusN: "Well, I've never seen anything like this."A: "Fuck. That sounds bad."N: "It -is- bad. Not knowing what this is means I can't safely treat it. Then again...I've never seen any of these plants before either."A: "Wh-"N: "What land did you say you were from?"A: "Earth?"N: "Ohohoho! Good one. Now really."A: "No. Really...">He looks between you, your swamp drake and tiny floating momA: "I'm human.">Nickodeemus provides you a salve to try and rub on the affected areas when you get a chance>He also laughs out of thereN: "A Human! AAhaha! In mewni!? With scihihisssors!"cont
>>2533748>>2533748>You swing home>Pound through your homework>WHAMP>Until a massive pamphlet of binded notes is dropped on your desk>Muscles nearly misses your fifth decimal equationA: "FUcK, JESUS!"W: "Oh. I'm zorry. Did I interrupt?">Wondervon>Your mole>Not a spy>Literally a mole>He does engineering for youA: "What is this?"W: "Zeh plans."A: "Plans."W: "Also zeh cost. For the machine I vould have to 'Science up' and X-ray zat horrible metal box your SKELETONS CRUSHED MY DESK WITH!">He just took a tone>You don't like that>You don't even like your own tone half the time>When your voice cracks>Which, when you scream at him>It does about three timesA: "WHat the FUCXK do you thiHnk you're DOING!?">Wondervon clucks while his yellow teeth clatterW: "Strike a nerve?"A: "You're wasting my TIME!">You snap your fingers>A skeleton brings you your scissors>A few snips and a pile of about $5k in 20s in on the table between you and Wondervon>He counts itW: "Zis isn't enough."A: "What?">You check his plans>Not just for an X-ray machine but a whole apparatus for...understanding enchantmentsW: "Zafely extracting zem too.">Huh>That's pretty craftyA: "How much?"W: "Two Hundret Zousand.">You need dosh>Zerioush doshA: "We need mines."W: "ZANK you! Finally!"A: "We need slaves."W: "Vat vas zat?"A: "Subjects."W: "...Zere's my race."A: "...">Your eyes snap open>The pen you were calculating pi with drops from your teeth>It's already Tuesday>Monday Part 2>...and your ass>ForgotA: "Janna."SESSION START!What fucking do?
>>2533755Martha! Go ask her about her goat sugar daddy. We need info on him before we can do anything with Janna.
>>2533755Go to Martha, ask her how the deal with Goat man works, if there is nay cons and any specific risks besides walking funny. Also i dont know, ask for a alternate source of power? Even if she dont use others, maybe she know some.
>>2533755LETS GO LEARN ABOUT GOAT DEMON FUCKS
>>2533789Pretty much this
>>2533755no goat dick in Janna pls
>>2533755Time be like the dirty murder hobo we are and go see if we need to shank a goat bitch. Tell Wonderbread we'll get his funds in a bit, need to knick someone's acolyte
>>2533836>>2533825>>2533791>>2533789>>2533776>>2533755Should we consult with Jackie? Her and Janna have been friends for way longer, and Jackie might be worried too bout her friend.
>>2533855I think we should get more information about what Janna's even getting into before going to her or Jackie. That way if they have questions we might be able to answer them rather than just going "Uhhhh, I dunno I just went into this without really thinking."
>>2533855>>2533855Do it. Contact Jackie for help.
>>2533855MAybe dropping a word with Jackie that Janna has to do hard heroine to do some of her magical bullshit might be a good idea
>>2533890>>2533875>>2533755Yeah. Alright.Thats fairvenough.
>>2533755Like the others said, hit up the witch about the witch-shit, then let Jackie know what's a afoot
>>2533776>>2533789>>2533791>>2533815>>2533825>>2533836Reactionary.Impulsive.So like you,>You sprint out of the castle>Eventually, once your cloak gets on you soar>You crash out of the portal that links Luna's world to the human one>The gaping maw taking up half of Echo Creek's boy's room wall>Once back on earth you can use your scissors>Tearing a hole between places as your blades have always doneSHRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIpp!>You step out of the portal near where you first met the Witch of Salem>Martha was her name>In life at least>You built her a body out of phetuses>Man, maybe you should examine some of your actions once in a whileA: "MARTHA!">No time for that now>You've got a mostly nude 1800s woman in the woods to locate>Wait...from the trees>Is that?A: "Music?"https://youtu.be/QY8_nKejW-c>It echoes from the dark corners>Rolls on the rocks>You can see a deer sprint in the opposite direction from it's source>Behind you is the city of Salem proper>Ahead>Is the woodsA: "Did Martha pick up some modern tastes?"L: "I suspect not.">Luna forms on your shoulder in a spiral of pink mist>Her tiny body weighs next to nothing>Yet still, where she sits you feel a warmthL: "Her kind don't change."A: "So why the modern tunes."L: "Her kind are also...universal in presence.">The music is pounding from the woods>There's a deadly chill all around you>Seriously, this is way colder than you expected it to be>Why does everything smell like pond scum?>There's a road behind you that leads back to some of the bridges and outer homes of Salem>There's a path directly into the trees>There's an abandoned gravel path that looks overgrown as hell>It leads up the short, but impossibly steep mountainWhat do?
>>2533930https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ew-Of0o_Hy0Follow the noise, where ever it goes!
>>2533930Please contact Jackie first.
>>2533930the path is quite clear - let us take the gravel path.Onwards and upwards!Keep an eye out in case some witchy or goaty bullshit gets in our way.Charge it and destroy it if some does.
>>2533930Onwards, toward the woods, I guess.Tread lightly, we don't wish to interrupt anything...until we do.
>>2533930Portal, stick head through, ask Jackie"Hey Girl, wanna help your besti with some witchy stuff? Also is she gonna be ok with a ton of drugs?"
>>2533930I say we check out the gravel path; trees seem too obvious
>>2533930>>2533980This, then ONWARDS AND UPWARDS
>>2533930i say we tip something over
>>2533930Supporting gravel path... maybe we can get a vantage point on the forest below and whatevers making the noise.
THE VOTES!>Tip something over! (Brilliant)2 votes>Follow the SOUND!2 votes>Contact Jackie before you get smackie2 votes>The Gravel Path>Onwards and upwards4 votes>Cranchn>Munch>Wackle>Smack!>Your march up the road is stern>Almost resolute>You catch yourself muttering as you walkA: "Mrmrm Jackie outta know about this...">You glance at your phone>Yep>Still fucking RIPPETY dippety>You've got some glass shards in Muscles' hands>He wants you to tip one of the trees over>You refuse>Not only because it might alert someone to your presence>...but it would probably drive the glass deeper>You focus on the hand as long as possible before the steepness of the road draws you outA: "Where...">Pat pat...>Pat Crusnch>The sounds of your feet>Are so plain up here>So audible>You feel alone>With the grey air>With the black, slimy trees>You can almost still hear that music way down below>You hear some hilariously cringe-inducing wails from it too>Sounds like a rabbit getting the finger from a craneA: "Buncha-lunatics.">You turn to keep heading onwards>Upwards>The path has endedhttps://youtu.be/RWQpaA-XydU>Ahead of you is a slight 'V' shaped sort of path>Into trees that warp in their centers and claw into the rocks>A nearby trash can, intended for what might have been public park goers at one time shuffles>You turn>Ready yourself for attack!>It's a possumP: "HEhhhhHH!">It hisses>Then flops on it's sideL: "Oh, look.">It twitches to make it's death seem believableL: "A diplomat.">You can feel something from the deeper woods higher up>A stillness>A presence>Down below you can sense mania>Smell bad weed and cigarettes>The possum farts>Then freezes, sucking the fart back as you turn to glare it for breaking character>You think you hear a twig snap in the treelineWhat do?
>>2533930Let's go on and see that shit in the treeline
>>2534057Turn out head towards where the twig snapped without moving our body all creepy like. See if we can add in a *crack* sound for added effect. Then go and check it out.
>>2534057Tell them to come outBecause of course it's a person and not some other animal shitting in the woods
>>2534057Fuck the treeline, we ONWARD AND UPWARD
>>2534057Turn towards the sound and declare that you wish to speak with Martha. Send out a mental pulse to see what's in the forest around us.
>>2534057MIND READ THE POSSUM?OR WHATEVER IS ON THE TREELINE
>>2534057>>2534092This is fine too
>>2534057mind read the possumkeep walking, whatever is following us probably knows better than to try anything
>>2534057keep the possum cause possums are cute as fuackalso, find out what that noise was
>>2534057>Mind read possom>If nothing is in there call out saying you wish to speak with Martha>Send a mental ping out to see if they are simply shy.>PORTAL. TO. JACKIE. PLEASE.
>>2534057>>2534089>>2534095Fuck it, changing to checking out the treeline.Make use of Mind Reading tho.Also keep the Possum as a buddo
>>2534105Yeah okay, this one
https://youtu.be/3NFf3qdkK1I>>2534101>>2534095>>2534084>>2534091A: "I got this.">Oh do you?>Of course you do>You're Anon>Master of messed up situations>Also nature>Fuck you, of course also nature>When the twig snaps so does your neck>Snapping toward the most logical offenderA: "YOU!">The possum>Your mind coils into the creature's very depths>His puny mind unfolds before you like a well fed, 16 year old oyster on prom night with her steady boyfriend of at least a year and a half>He's struggled>Watched his mother get eaten by a Rottweiler>Won a fight with a raccoon once>Never had rabies>Never bit anybody>Kind of likes it when people hold him by his tail a->You're carrying the possum before you even finish peeling his mind like an onionL: "Anonymous, what is that?"A: "This is a creature that eats trash and fears judgement.">You bounce him in your armsA: "...and he's mine now.">You eye into the woodsA: "Just trees...just dirt and grass.">You don't need anyone's help>You're a big man>A big>Scary man>With scary powers!A: "I'm hear to speak with Martha!">You shout>Your voice comes back from the trees>Breathless>Soul-less>You take another step>Vault over some roots>As you continue the ground becomes ridged>Muddy>Your shoes don't scatter leaves here>They splash slimy water up from the countless puddles beneath you>The possum in your arm is still hissing>His tails coils around your human wrist>You pause>As you suddenly realize that other than the slope of the mountain>Telling which way you came>You have no idea>Any idea>Where you areA: "...">Why is the air here so hot?>SHUNCK!A: "AH!"https://youtu.be/Mc_omTrOJfc>The ground's suddenly opened>You've fallen into the mountain>Up to your hip>Nearly past your waist>Your right leg feels like it's being gnawed by the ground>A red, pudding like slime splatters from the edges of the sinkhole you've collapsedA: "FUCK! FUCK!">The trees overhead seem to be watching>With no pity>Or feeling at all>Just stillness>Your breath comes in too quickly for you to get calm>The Possum is totally stillWhat do?
>>2534212break free, for one.Starwalk above the ground to potentially try to get our bearing?comfort the possum the best an emotionally stunted boi can.
>>2534212FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! COMBUSTION! BURN THIS SHIT AND GET OUT! AAAAA!
>>2534212POSSUMBRO NOalso DON'T PANIC and THINK THROUGH THIS SHIT
>>2534212Eh, it’s just mud. See if we can’t extricate ourselves with Starwalk, if not have Muscles stretch out, grab the nearest solid ground, and pull us free.
>>2534212Remove self from the sinkhole we're in, calm the fuck down and remember, NO FEAR.Star walking would help with getting free sure, just make not to star walk into a freaking tree with how much we're pulling. Also inform Martha if she doesn't get her ass out here we're going to start burning trees on her Milf Ass
>>2534212STARWALK OUTTA THERECOMBUST YOUR GNAWINGNESS IF NECESARYAnd get possum outta there.
>>2534212Can we also finally get Jackie here as well? I mean seriously dind't we say we were going to have Jackie come with us to get gud?
>>2534275This isn't really an adventure. We're just going to go ask someone some questions and then probably leave.
>>2534212Supporting this >>2534253 to pull us out. If we get air, utilize starwalk to slow our descent/monkey swing between trees and shit to avoid the ground.
>>2534212Starwalk and pull us out with Muscles.
I bet jannas test is to sacrifice us to her goat god. Watch out and starwalk out while casting our flame touch
>After enough panic>You rememberA: "Oh wait..."https://youtu.be/WbeEDE4XMEc>You can fly>Or float at least>As you start to ascend possum bro panics>FLight!? HE'S NOT WORTHY OF FLIGHTA: "Shhh shshsh">You whisper into his earA: "You're worthy of whatever you want in this life.">Shunk>You've stopped...>YOU'VE STOPPED!?>Your ankle>It's still in this hole>You squirm>Kick>The Possum hisses at the hole>Good hustle, Possum>You can feel your skin breaking on jagged, glassy rocksA: "Enough.">KER-SNAP!>Muscles snaps upward, stretching to reach the upper levels of the trees>At first the branches don't hold>He comes back holding a rolled up mess>Of dark grey wood>A femur>Cobwebs>The remains of an 80s windbreaker and a kiteA: "NYeh! THE 80S ended like 900 years ago!">You hurl the mess away>Reach for a better hold>Muscles has you now>HERckack!>You snap up like a rubber band>Your ankle is a mess of cuts and deep black bruises>Your shoe has a hole in the toes>Your pant leg is covered in dirt and reddish slimeA: "Martha! Martha you MAGIC AXE WOUND! Get out here or I'm gonna-AUUGHh!">Your eyes water on that last inhalation>You have to close them because of the involuntary gag that pulls on your throat>The hole>Where you leg caved in the ground>It stinks>Like REALLY stinks>The wind slowly pushing from it smells like the sour shits of a sick day>Like that ward of the hospital you send grandparents to die quietly and divide up the estate>While you swing from the moss covered tree, disrespecting the forest's peace you notice something>The air up here is much less hot>The shadows of the trees that are cost onto the earth>Seem deeper>Richer>Filled out>You wish you had brought something to clean the wounds on your ankleANON HAS TAKEN 3 DAMAGE>Jackie would have somethingA: "NMMFM! No! No I don't NEED to be fuckin' baby sat!">You kick the blood off>Glare around at the woodsA: "MARTHA! MARTHA!"L: "Why are you shouting?">You look at LunaL: "Why are you shouting when you can magically scream?">She's right, you know>This area is spooky beyond belief>The trees higher up the mountain look even thicker>With less even ground>The world below is orderly but empty and vast>The wind is so cold against you up here in the air>Your new Possum is hanging from your wrist, scrabbling>The Hole below blasts steam for a second>Sending a glove covered in the same red slime out into the openWhat do?
>>2534431Cover our new possum fren's ears and then mind scream for MARTHA TO GET HER STANKY ASS OUT HERE!
>>2534442the mindscream probably won't effect him since he's just a possum so there's no need to cover his earsbut do it anywaysupporting
>>2534431Mind scream to cancel spell effects and call for Martha.Also... Stinks of what? simply gargbage? Or the UNDEAD? Animal, Insect, Human... perhaps we can get a small mob to assist us... or additional info on what caused them their demise.
>>2534431Insert mental scream spell.exeInsert text.Martha god damn it and goat damn it you really need to get a telephone or something so I dont' have to trump through your swamp to get a freakin courtesy call done.As an aside please thank Luna for reminding us of our dumb silliness
>>2534431>Mind Scream for Martha>BfB the gaping asshole that almost swallowed us>threaten to throw fire right into it
>>2534431>>2534472this but actually throw fire into itit deserves nothing but hate
>>2534431REEEEE for Martha and commit maximum violence unto the hole
>Your mind coils in on itself>Your teeth slice into your lips>You shake>The tree shudders>Possum looks concerned for it's safety and the safety of others>The bark near your ears begins to peel>Spite>Anger>Resolute disgust>All these feelings interact and amplify>The slime on your leg turns to jelly>The air in your lungs burns like Lysol>Your lungs seal against the world as the stench>That stench>AmplifiesA: " https://youtu.be/clDBJKcmfvE?t=2 ">Your mind SHOUTS HATE>CRUELTY>DISGUST>A: "MARTHA YOU MAGIC MUFF DIVING FARM ANIMAL SUCCOR SEEKING CUNT! YOU DIDN'T ANSWER WHEN I CALLED SO NOW THAT I'VE RESPECTED YOUR PRIVACY BY KNOCKING -AND->You have to pause>You pant>What leaves are on the trees are now crumpling>Turning to sticky dust>Possum licks some off of your cheek>He coughs it up as you continueA: " https://youtu.be/pEoh1cG2PGI "A: "NOW I'M ASSERTING MY AUTHORITY AS THE GUY YOU OWE BY COMING IN ANYWAYS! GET OVER HERE. OR TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE. NOW.">THWOOOm!>A beam of light pierces your visionM: "I'm in the old cathedral. With some visitors. Come. Do not disturb my children any longer.">The cathe->Oh>Right>The church she was buried atA: "Her children? All Martha's children are spooky ghost and dirt monsters they can't be-">CRAHCH>You look down>Pic Fucking related has super jumped from the 5-inch wide hole which is now a gaping crater of bloody humanoid remains splattered around in a rocky mother-of-pearl lined puss pocket>It's inches from your face>You smell dirt, pine, and Menstruation>You've broken all the spells around you>Even the ones that kept you safe>Nice job, Anonymous>Now.What do?
>>2534576Go to Martha now, fly out of that bois range.
>>2534576Teleport to said cathedral
>>2534576*TELEPORTS BEHIND MARTHA*
>>2534576>>2534618this, specifically like this
>>2534606>>2534618I can agree with teleporting behind Martha.
>>2534607>>2534618>even the ones that keep you safeQuestion is if we're in combat now. If so, Scissoring will lead to unexpected locations.>>2534576Raise dead from the hole.
>>2534576>>2534650>>2534667oh, it's alive?Let's kill it, then go to Martha's.It violated the NAP first, after all.Engage Combustion and wipe it the fuck out.
>>2534618Since I'm declared the resident edgefag, I gotta support this
>>2534576Starwalk past the threeline into the clear sky.Look for the cemetery without any trees to block your view.
>>2534750Or, well, yeah, Just do >>2534618
can we also say nothing personnel martha?
>>2534870We're not killing her. Yet anyways
>>2534870>>2534881Calm down, yeesh. Martha has not done anything to Janna she didn't agree to as far as we are aware.
>Just walk in without being a spaz for once.
>>2534910I said yet anon, not killing her or killing her is dependent on what we find>>2534918>Not being a spaz>AnonAre you reading the same quest as me?
>>2534576>>2534576>You look at this>All this>The gore>The winding roots>This...thing staring at you like you're a marshmallow on the end of a burnt stick>You extend your neckA: "Nope.">You whip out your scissors>Spin them like a cowboyA: "I ain't killin' kids until I'm at least in my 20s and convinced I'm doing the right thing.">SHHHHHHHHRRRRRRIIIPhttps://youtu.be/SWsYG_pE76o>You step out of the portal>Ankle stinging>Face covered in soot and ash and leaves>Pants covered in tomato flesh lookin' slime>Possum in hand???: "OH GOD!"???: "He's REAL!">To the sound of teenage girl screamsA: "What th-">Some goth chicks are in here>5 by your quick count>You look down>Sure enough>Martha>Looking up at you>Her hair's plastered to her head and neck>Her whole body is slick with sweat>You can tell>Cause her stank ass is naked and hairy as an angus cow>Along with of course the obvious>She's in midst of childbirthM: "Hello."A: "JESUS, WHYAT?!">You scream>Muscles is one million dicks>Possum screams???: "Please. Take me next.">One of the goth girls has approached you>She's yanking at her 'Dirt Mother' shirt to try and get undressed>She is not of a healthy BMI>Her torn jeans reveal jiggling thighs that are way too out in the open for someone this far away from their teensA: "Nothin' personal.">You sniff>Push her back with a gravity spellA: "MMmmbut I think I'm better than the 'fat one' .">A scrawny girl comes up to you>Face grimGG: "She is a fucking QUEEN you virgin filth.">Oh>Nevermind>It's a man>A weak oneM: "Can I help you, Anonymous?"A: "Y-yeah. I have some questions. Pretty serious o-"M: "OOOUAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!">Martha screams again>Black fluid spurts out of her practically clothed -in-fur body onto the tiles of the church>You hear some wood creak>You look up>A wooden statue of some priest is frowning at the scene>Martha twitches and flatulates>His head is spattered in her life goocont
>>2535120>>2535120>The screaming wouldn't be so bad>If all the goth chicks weren't screaming with herA: "Is that nessecary?"M: "No. They believe it communes them with my pain."A: "Does it?"M: "No."A: "Look. I need to know what the ahhgh!">You clamp your face with Muscles>Who is set aquiver from all you've seen today>The miracle of birth>The results of said miracle>Fat goth chick thighs>Witch tiddies>Man>What a time>The smell is back is your only issue>In full force>You peek out of your fingers to see Martha wobbling up onto her feetA: "Damn, bitch. You live like this?"M: "Indeed. All life.">She squats>Turns her shoulders purple with how hard she squeezesM: "LIVES...LIKE THIS-"A: "Enough!">You spin her around>Push the White Knight trap-goth boy into a puddle of blackened menstrual fluidA: "I wanna know what Janna's getting into. If she's got options. Cause no offense but...">You motion to MarthaA: "All this.">Then gag alittleA: "Can't be healthy."M: "You cannot make her choices for her."A: "No but I can damn sure keep people from giving her bad options.">Muscles curls his fingers>They crack like the snaps of a chicken's neckA: "Now give me some answers. So I can get the fuck up outta here away from your misguided youths. Your semi-cannibal children and that damn STENCH!"FG: "Please. I want to bear the fruits of the forest. The world of man is nothing to me, please! Take me!"A: "I thought I told you, Ms. Slam Pig. EN. OH. NO!"M: "She was not talking to you.">It takes you a moment>Before you snap backwards>Before the shadows that fill the entirety of the back of the church seem to deepen>Into wispy black fur>When the stone cracks from the step of cloven feet>When the light of portable lanterns and trash fires dies down to be replaced by yellow, dead yet piercing eyes>A long, awful neck stretches out from the dark>Lowering a face that's all too close to human at you>Oh by all darkness>When it breathes>The smellM: "Disciple of the Pink. Meet the father of my children. My patron. My god.">The creature opens it's lips>Revealing curled, lion-like teeth where a goat's should be???: "I am the dark Father.">It speaks without a single human gesture of it's mouth???: "You must be The End."SESSION PAUSE!SESSION RESUMES TOMORROW! 6:00PM US CENTRAL TIME!Stay afloatDon't lose your goatlove,Quest
>>2535123>>2535123A few more images of our lovely host.Along with some friendly links.The twitterhttps://twitter.com/StarVsQuestThe Sheetshttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1R66kWytq_Ar3zyEA8R05DYJT0NNJiYT5uKAD4OdFOY0/edit?usp=sharing(Links to other documents inside this one)The tip bucket (now with stretch goals)https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5454620stay blesststill lovedby Quest
>>2535123Fitting name for us
>>2535123>???: "You must be The End."Finally, someone who GETS IT! And you must be "The Horned One."
>>2535123Seems Lovecraft got wrong on the Mother of a Thousand Young bit.
>>2535123Sup goat daddy. Maybe get him a couple hundred boxes of breath mints, see if we can make a dent in that rancid breath of his. Also, yeah, no, I think Janna’s probably not gonna be super into all...uh...this. There’s cool witchcraft and rituals and all that jazz, and then there’s having sex with a giant bipedal goat and bearing it’s hideous, malformed children. He seems fairly courteous, at least.
>>2535123Well, at least he's not outright antagonism. And he seems to recognize us as someone worthy of a title at the least. Whats his angle? Just more children and territory, like the sea troll?
>>2535123>Inform him that we'd kindly prefer he doesn't immediately ignore us for our Mom; we're the one trying to talk to him after all, not her
>>2535363Dude. She's The End.bcuz she literally ENDED practically an entire reality. That, and it's not unlikely that to the eyes of many powerful entities, she's the more prominent individual between Anon and her.Why would WE be called The End? What have WE ended?
>>2535376Existence itself when we kicked Fate's teeth in. Also, the flow of the conversation was directed to us. Not only that, but I'm fairly sure Luna's avatar isn't even here so what he fuck would be he talking to? Even then, sure she did all that but how would he know? That all happened in another universe. No one in this universe knows besides us and Glossaryck. Not even Omnitraxus knew and he was the space-time/multiverse guy. It really doesn't make sense that he'd be addressing her instead of us when Martha introduced him to us. You don't be introduced to someones kid then say "hello kid X's mother" that's just weird and doesn't flow well.
>>2535360why assume he's not referring to us?
>>2535426Because he didn't call us the Disciple of the Pink like Martha did.
Something to handle when we get back>You quickly and unquestioningly take the way she just tears up and shakes from foot to shoulderBritt is forcing Sabrina into shit she doesnt want because sabrina is a doormat. That shot is now stuff about having a boyfriend and going to prom. Sabrina obviously feels like she has no control over her life and anon just rolled up and used her like she gets used by everyone else. We need to take a second while running around like a spazz and tell her that she is special and that we appreciate her as a friend and that she can say no and that if she needs help being her own person we have a safe place in our castle where she is beholden to no one.
>>2537123I do want to do something nice for Sab for helping us out. Don't wanna feel like we're using her either.If we could also get her to be more assertive and independent from Britt that'd be cool too, though I've no idea how we could do that.
SESSION START!https://youtu.be/Z9U5NKn5Yes>Are you still Anon?>Are you?>Anonymous McMoot>He wasn't the kind of person to give this much of a shit>Was he?>Before you were nothing>Now, not only are you important>To at least -one- person in this fetid world.>You're powerful>You're elevating others to the same status>Or you tried at least>You found a human>Martha Dugood>Who found herself an avenue for strength>At the very least a way to obtain magical abilities>All she had to do was acquiesce something to another, higher power>So you sent a friend>Janna Ordonia>To this woman>To learn her higher power>It's had some benefits>Janna's gained much greater control of the psionic portion of her mind>Able to two-way communicate>Able to read the thoughts and motives of the unguarded>The spells however>The spells themselves elude her>She is missing a piece to her power>The creature providing these "gifts" is one known as the Dark Father>Supposedly she must surrender to his 'ministrations' in order to achieve the next level>Martha has utterly given in to this creature>As a result, she's powerful enough to birth and untold number of demi-god spawn>Conceal them in illusion magic>Even sustain the life of a polluted, old growth forest on the outskirts of Salem>Who knows how many corpses litter this mountain where they sleep>Her body is a temple to his will>Her Obsession seems to fuel her powers>That is a not a fate you can tolerate for your friend>You've come to confront this being>Who has been so kind as appear before you>He is a behemoth>An affront to natural order>With his squashed, man-like goatish face>His curtains of billowing black fur>Those eyes>That break through everything they behold>Yet never seem to properly blink>This is the Horned oneHO: "You must be...the end.">His lips curl downward>They don't move when he 'speaks'???: "Please! OH DARK FATHER TAKE ME! TAKE ME PL-">He raises his right hand at the one screaming for his attention>A normal, uninitiated girl>Who's body, from the looks of the holes in her metal band logo covered clothing is a ruin>Her desperate pleas become silent as the palm levels her way>She continues to plead, unaware no one can hear herHo: "They get hysterical, at times. When they see their opportunity.">His craning neck crunches as he turns back to youHo: "Well..."A: "I-"Ho: "For what purpose do you seek this audience with me?">You are standing at the top of a church steeple>A crowd of ignorant goths is behind you>One of which really wants that goat dick>Martha is there as well>Naked and still giving birth>The Horned One's eyes are upon youWhat do?
>>2538324"I came here so you wont came in my friend."
>>2538324Yeah I've just come to discuss the EULA and Terms&Conditions of what it means to have you as a patron. Get all the details and fine print. Basically just tell me what you're about and if you're going to ruin my bud Janna.
>>2538324ask the horned goat what janna needs to sacrifice in order to gain spellpowers
>>2538324“All right i’ll Be honest, I’m worried about my good friend Janna going into something that she is not prepared for at all. I want to know exactly WHAT she is giving up before she takes the goat dick.”
>>2538324>>2538370>>2538355>>2538354what is ur deal mr goat man
>>2538324>Whats your dealio goat dude?>What do you want/need/desire from my friendo Janna?
>>2538324"I'm here to make sure my friend Janna is safe from this, so tell me. What does she have to get spellpower"
>>2538354>>2538324This, essentially. We might have made a mistake just handing our friend to a complete stranger. We knew she wanted this, but we're not sure she knows what she's getting into, or if it's for the better.Really, no offense, but we don't want her to surrender her own freedom (and body) just because she's looking for power when she could find it somewhere else less... taxing.We might have made a mistake. We want to make sure we didn't, and fix it if possible.
>>2538324>>2538353>>2538354>>2538355>>2538370Pretty much these
>>2538324>>2538395But most specifically tho: >>2538394
I gave recklessly and received recklessly. Sue me.
>>2538324>Tell me about yourself>Tell me what you want, and if my friend will be safe taking your cock
>>2538324We would just like to understand your rituals, what they entail and the "lesson plan" you have in regards to our friend. The rotten hole at the end of that gravel path doesn't paint the best picture of you
>>2538324>>2538324As someone with power, we'd like to understand more thoroughly what Janna would need to trade for his blessings. It's her choice, but we'd like to know because our perspective is unclouded by desire for him
>A simple list in your head forms>Simple questions>Straightforward as wellA: "You have a new student in the form of my friend, Janna."Ho: "Do I?">His expression tells nothingA: "Yes. She's been drawing her power from you. Learning from you. To my knowledge though there's something you need from her in order to let her be a full witch."Ho: "Indeed."A: "What is it? Does she end up like...">You look to Martha>Who is wordless>Just a meat-statue pushing away into the aisle of the church to relieve her body of it's burdenA: "That? Is that your end game?">The creature's neck raises back up>His eyes finally move>From you to the crowd of awestruck pretender-satanists>One of which has already started to run for the door??: "No! NO IT'S NOT REAL! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"Ho: "Do not go out there.">They throw open the door>They are face to face with a crowd of those horrors you saw up the mountain>They scream>The goat creatures scream>Then snatch them into their midst>You can't even see them anymore>They begA: "Is THAT what your deal is!? Eating people?"Ho: "No. I do not eat."A: "So what -is- your goal? Your purpose!?">The male of the group gets back up>Heads for the crowd like he's going to bash their skulls in>Before he gets to them he falters>Steps back into a puddle as Martha finally has her efforts rewardedM: "AAHH! MMM!"GB: "B-bethany! BETHANY!"B: "JOSH-HALPME!">She screamsHo: "What a waste.">The Horned one returns to you>Ignoring the happenings around himcont
While we're at it, lets inquire about these corpses that may be littering the mountain.
>>2538547>>2538547Ho: "Things used to be better than this, you know. There didn't used to be just one, or two individuals that served me.">He grunts, allowing a bear-like roar to shudder in very goat-like fashionHo: "We used to be -better- than all this.">He leans back upHo: "The one you call 'Janna' has not yet been to see me. She has been learning in a trance state. The dream world that my disciple-daughter has shown her.">He rolls his shoulders>Leans back on the church wall>Which strains under his unseen weightHo: "She struggles because of this. Because I cannot grant my power unless I exist in her mind."A: "Well what's that supposed to mean?"Ho: "Worship.">The skies outside rumbleHo: "She must worship me. Or at least know my being. Most humans are only capable of...obsession.">He looks down his nose at youHo: "Cases like yours are very rare. Your kind is so versatile. A shame you chose this path."A: "What path?"Ho: "The Godless path. With your godless science and more godless christians.">He takes a cross from the off the wall>Inverts it>Then puts it backHo: "Your friend must see my face and allow me into her life. If she does so she will surely, like this Mother-disciple become an instrument of my Will. In order to sate her desires..."Ma: "Another child."Ho: "Or. She will owe unto the sabatoge of your christian faith.">He chucklesHo: "The abolishment of your betrayal to nature.">Beth is still screaming>Josh has still done NOTHING about it>Martha turns to you all>Her smile to side it threatens to crease her entire face into a wrinkleMa: "A BOY, my lord!">pic related's happy Birthday.webmHo: "What a frabjous occasion, mo sto'r.">There's one answer>He needs more followers>Most are dumbasses, perverts or out for themselves>The noble human race>Sounds familiar>Now what do?
I've come to perform due diligence on the fate of someone dear to me personally and otherwise. She is uncertain and conflicted. The rage filled one. Tell me of her progress and her next steps, if you would indulge one who raised your sycophant from death."
>>2538559>>Beth is still screamingNope, fuck this, fuck that. Save the dumbasses.
>>2538559"First off, I am a god so thats that, and two If you need help why didn't you say so? I can use more people to help kick ass and in return i will help start up a cult for ya in California, place is FULL of people who would suck this kind of think up like a sponge in water. I still need to talk to Janna about this, but if she is TRULY about all this then i can't stop her."
>>2538559>>2538587this, the screaming is loud.
>>2538559>Humans used to be magic. HM.>Did demons invent Christianity? If so thats hilarious.>Everybody wants followers who are not shit, sadly the only way to get them is a lot of hard work. As I am learning.>So what are you going to do with them then?>Lastly, help those poor mortal fucks.>You should take better care of your followers. You only get out what you put in.
If it is that trivial, I will counsel her then and let her decide without the intervention of thesycophant. But know that she will serve me as well. I will be king. I do not serve the godless path as I am a God. Why do you call me the End. There is no end, not anymore .
>>2538565>>2538600Yes anon, I too have read the King James Bible once
>>2538559tell him he needs to chill and take better care of his follower. also ask how we can give powers to others.
>>2538559Yyyyyyeeeeeaaaaah, I'm not so sure how I feel about humans having to submit to this sort of *thing* to become more powerful.>>2538600And Janna doesn't even respect normal human authority, even her own parents. You think she's gonna kneel before this sorta thing?>>2538596Yeah, we're not a god. Anon really doesn't want mindless servitude. We even corrected our own Skeletons when they started calling us the Messiah. >>2538587Please do. Get them in back in the church.>>2538617You also definitely need to take better care of your servants. Current humans aren't gonna kneel themselves over someone who gives them a bit of power when Sciences can do just that for them.
>>2538559Hmmmm, so this arrogant goat fuckboy wants to be god....the same kind of god that would destroy us if we didn't break reality......this unworthy furbait shall be taught a lesson in hubris. Annihilation Wave the goats off the retard goth kids. Then have a pleastent chat about how his ideas are so fundamentally abhorrent he has 1 hour to shove it up his goat ass. Offer up be a regular goat fucking idol on the internet. It would unfortunately be more effective. But without the...human eating.
>>2538596You know, it could be argued we are God now, which is why we are trying to be better as a human
>>2538631>Yeah, we're not a god.We're pretty godlike. We can be a god with better followers than the norm.
>>2538559>>2538587>>2538599>>2538631>>2538633also these things
>>2538651Or we can do what we set out to and be human, we followed through on example of what happens to a shit god. To be a god is to be a useless sadistic fuck, as the goat is showing right now. To hell with that noise, even demons have more respect in a legal sense than this, not by much, but still.
>>2538651To quote myself, Godhood is just a title, self-absorbed assholes give themselves to prop-themselves in front of fools and innocents.If we want followers and subjects we should get them by demonstrating ourselves as for who we are. We already rejected the worship of our own, loyal-belong-the-grave who have every reason to treat us as a supreme being since they confused us with The Messiah.
>>2538669Agreed, lead by action, not by demand. Be better than just a shitty uncaring spirit that plays himself as a god.
>>2538669where can I get more shadowspawn from beyond the star GF?
>>2538668Why be human tho? What's so god damn special about being human? Nothing, there's nothing special or interesting about it beyond jerking yourself off going "OOOHH OHHHH I'M SOOOOOO HUUUUUUUUMAN!" >>2538669OK, so we want to be a better god than normal. That's cool.
>>2538683Why be a god tho? What's so god damn special about being divine? Nothing, there's nothing special or interesting about it beyond jerking yourself off going "OOOHH OHHHH I'M SOOOOOO GOOOOOODLLLLYYYYY!"
>>2538683DR_LaZer I presume
>>2538559"You have no ambition at all do you? Sitting out here in the woods fucking THOTs and bemoaning that Jesus took your power?">>2538647PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT why the fuck would I wanna be human?
>>2538683well it's fun to do things as a human because you know, we have limitations. which we break
>>2538703What about greek gods tho? They god limits and are flawed just like humans. Even in the Quest world gods aren't perfect beings.
>>2538683Because it is the one thing we we're to be denied to the point of complete annihilation. We eat Cheetos on a beanbag chair for a throne, and watch Adventure Time on Netflix, with a 70-in widescreen tv. There are no higher goals for but to live regardless of the universe trying to kill us, fuck being a god you stupid schmuck, did you even get here for the last season, or are you here to say dumb shit?
>>2538711... What the fuck are you talking about?
>>2538709>>2538709how about we be better than both and not be as shitty as either usually are with all their crap flaws and beliefs
>>2538709then let's goooo become gods then
>massacre wave out the door, they kids are already dead>darkstar the goat, take his soul>let janna think they disappeared
>>2538719So a newfag then, shut the fuck up then.
skissor janna here and ask if he wants goat penis
>>2538729New fag? Fuck off you self righteous faggot, I've been here since /co/ you're just talking like an autist and aren't comprehensible. Maybe go back to kindergarten to figure out how to construct a proper sentence and try again.
>>2538559Also, use our scissors and bring Janna here. Gotta get in her decision on this. >>2538686I see you've know the basic art of altering text.>>2538711Ease up there fedoraman, being a god is a fuck of a lot better than being a regular boring human any time>>2538729Stop being such a whiny pissbaby you idiotic prick, so what if he's new? Let some new people join in instead of having the first couple of people be here instead of REEEEing and telling them to go and stay go
Hey old goat fuck stop eating people or else you're gonna get these hands
>>2538547>>2538559Make sure he ain't killing no rando's or people just because they don't want to join his club. Then we can go make sure Janna knows the risks and let her make her choice.
>>2538767We know he's killing randos though, we found random body parts strewn all over the hills. Well the kids are killing randos though.
>>2538785So we'll ask him what's up, probably tell him to knock it off. And promise to murder him if he's a fibber
>>2538596Pretty much this. Hash things out, god to god-in-the-making. Make an offer he can't refuse, etc.
>>2538799This sounds nice. I like this idea.
>Do not offer to do his stank ass god job for him.>He should get off his lazy bum and do it himself.>Not to mention we are already bleeding action economy out the ears.
https://youtu.be/5a-em1lr2FUThe votes.>Bring Janna2 votes>More Questions1 vote>Franchise deal1 vote>Save the fuckin' idiots6 votesA: "You know. Coming here I had no idea what to expect. I thought you wanted Janna to fuck you.">He thinks for a momentHo: "It would be most effective.">You shake your head and chuckleA: "I've only met one God before."Ho: "I don't go by that name anymore. Your kind call us that. I learned better. When your faith proved to be so fleeting."A: "I'm gonna save that Moron in the of Lawn-Ornaments you got out front."Ho: "They will try to eat you. They are mindless phantoms."M: "Only for now, my lord. I can make better ones. I swear."Ho: "Do as you wish."M: "Master?"Ho: "My realms are no longer the beautiful ones. The green places and hallowed hollows. Once I was fertility and grace.">He sighsHo: "Now I am a dream. Made horrid by the sickened dreams of castaways.">You spitA: "Your problem is you talk like a fag.">You feel him scan the front of your mind for the meaning to your slangHo: "Heh.">He gets itA: "ALRIGHT! BANANA SLAMMA TIME BABY!"HOW FUCKING GET INTO THE MOSH PIT OF GOATS!?>Some are humanoid>Others are more like goats themselves>Some are tree-stumps and mounds of meat>All of them have his eyes>With Martha's pitch black hairM: "No! NO! GET AWAY FROM THEM!"
>>2538812Massacre Wave the lot of them, just sweep above goth height.
>>2538812"Martha, either i go in there and beat their ass or you control your weird wooden goat things, which is it?"
>>2538821MEWGGAWE'RE TRYING TO SAVE THE KIDS, NOT TURN THEM INTO FUCKING ASH.
>>2538812Slap their shit a lot with our wand.
>>2538812Save the kidsKill Martha Talk to goat man about life and how he needs to get over it and to get under our banner and train Janna better than Martha. The new world is coming
>>2538812>Control your kids or I will do it for you.>Mind scream the goat kids into submission.>Or just take control of them. They are phantoms.
>>2538826Which is why I said ABOVE their heads.
>>2538821definitely this, chop them down like wheat>>2538830very much this
>>2538812Crucicrush and immolate. Their pretty fleshy and furn burns.
>>2538812Well Martha I never liked you. Alright let's blast her with our THOT destroyer wand
>>2538830No don't kill Martha yet or Goat Bro will go away because no one will be there to believe in him. Kill her later after we secure Goat Bro.
Massacre wave and/or cruci crush will dumpster the squishy humans.
>>2538845>>2538838>>2538826>>2538821If we kill Martha then Goatbro vanishes. Just knock her out, scissor in Janna and have her make her decision
>>2538865I don't even know if her undead body can be knocked out.
fuck I'm late>>2538812>>2538821>>2538836>>2538842>>2538838>>2538845Very specifically try to not accidentally kill the kids we're trying to save!But I do support the Massacre Wave.>>2538865if the cunt gets involved it's her own damn fault
>>2538865then have janna and martha scissor
>>2538872Well bind her up in shit I dunno>>2538877You wanna lose out on goatbro?
>>2538883Eh, if we have to defend ourselves we have to.if he's smart he'll hold her back.
>>2538812Do not Kill Martha and do not use Massacre Wave.In fact. I want.I WANT TO TRY THE NEW SPELL WE GOT IN COMBAT.TRANSFIGURE.
>>2538888He won't do that, goat bro is doing what Luna does and is letting events happen around him cuz he's chill like that.
>>2538812DO NOT MASSACRE WAVE. Instead either bind her or somehow knock her out
>>2538895well then if she dies who gives a shithe clearly isn't effected
>>2538907Except how the fuck do we know? If we kill Martha then poof there goes Goatbro
>>2538900Bitch, she is exhausted on a table after giving birth, she is in no position to do shit, and she knows it. Stop freaking out already, and if she tries something dumber, its her fault.
>>2538895>>2538907Didn't goat bro survive on earth all those years without Martha being alive?He can live with her being dead, it doesn't matter if we kill her or not right now.
>>2538915Dumbass, Martha isn't the only thing keeping him alive, do you not pay attention to what their talking about?
>>2538919>>2538915exactlywhy would he die now massacre wave her and the monsters
>>2538927Don't bother Aiming at her, just shoot the monsters. If we need to we can throw a crusi crush on her and be done with it.
Rolled 2 (1d10)THE VOTES!>Massacre Wave4 votes>Threaten2 votes>Mind Scream1vote>Crush and Burn1 vote>Wand 1-800-SLAP1 vote>Muscles pulls into himself>Coils like a spring>The Wand in your hand floats upward>Then joins into his flesh>It rotates around, the end acting as a focus crystal>The mouth piece joins his shoulder bone hooks>He clenches his fist>Then blossoms from his palm like a flower>Your light>Burns >From withinM: "No! MY CHILDREN! Run! RUN TO THE FORESTS! THE WORLD WILL BE YOURS. ALL FLESH WILL BE YOURS BUT YOU MUST RUN!">The children hear her>They do not listen>Too hungry>Their bodies fade between corporeal sense and a half-existence>Some of them flicker in and out of visibility>The ones closest to the girl>They hold the most solidity>Their rectangular pupils dilate at the sounds of their mother's voice>Yet their jaws never stop snapping>Some of their horns shed spontaneously>Some of the small bites they take from the screaming body below them fall from their throats and bellies as they try to sup on her flesh>By the time you've fully charged your power>The floor beneath you has burnt in a circle>Then widened to an elipse>Then>When you fire>It opens into a burning eye ANONYMOUS!YOUR FIRST STRIKE IS OF COURSE YOUR HARDEST!ROLL.WILL!
Rolled 9 + 17 (1d20 + 17)>>2538940AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>2538940BURN HERETIC
Rolled 9 + 17 (1d20 + 17)>>2538916>>2538923Can you fuck off with acting like you're so much better you goddamn sperg? I made a fucking mistake since I'm tired, just fuck off you paranoid goddamn morlock. Either calm down or fuck off>>2538927Hey, just tired and my head hurts. Not really too into remembering shit here>>2538940Alright then
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>2538940
Rolled 9 + 17 (1d20 + 17)>>2538940Hahahahaha You guys are fucking stupid.
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>2538940fire the cannons
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>2538940We better not hit one of the kids.
Rolled 20 + 17 (1d20 + 17)>>2538940
Rolled 8 + 17 (1d20 + 17)>>2538940
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>2538940DON'T FUCK UP
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>2538940
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>2538940
Rolled 12 + 17 (1d20 + 17)>>2538940lets go
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>2538940do the do
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>2538940This one's for the hometown fans
>>2538992There you go anon, got in a pretty decent number
Rolled 20 + 17 (1d20 + 17)>>2538940I will them dead instead of half-formed
Rolled 20 + 17 (1d20 + 17)>>2538940Shit, late to the party, but I actually liked the franchise idea, especially after his final comments.
>>2538999Nice twenty and trips boyo
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>2538940
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>2539015They see me rolling...
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>2538940
Guys stop rolling. we have a 12 and 4 20s. Just stop now.
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>2538992>>2538992The winnar!>29 total>>2538961+2!>>2538999Naisu trips anon-a-chan+2>>2539007WHohSuch power!SUCH RAGE!+2>>2539011Is this the strength of a god?Is that what you think you are?+2>No 1s>37 totalhttps://youtu.be/hVxyJrVVpG8>FWeeeeEEeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE>KRAK-A-TOW!>The creatures turn>Their dead-wild eyes contracting>Like beasts caught in the light of a new world>Like deer staring down headlights>Like abominations>Who's presence disgusts your notion of what the world should be>Anon deals 43 damage>THE GHOSTS DISPERSE!>The bodies shred like burning tissue paper>Their eyes pop like heated sacks of jelly in a boiling pot!Ho: "From naught to nothing. Of course this power can still exist. If only there are those bold enough to stoke it's fire."J: "BETH!">The goth boy is knocked backwards>You are sent backwards too>The beam flies upward>Splitting the roof of the church>The sky cracks from where you gold and pink laser shred the clouds>You collapse onto the church stairs>Martha stands over you>Some rai->Wait>No>That was fluid from Martha that just dripped on youA: "Oh you are fucking DEAD again you pagan whore."M: "I've heard that one before.">She produces a serrated dagger>Made from the antler of some kind of creatureM: "Your BLOOD WILL FEED THE NEXT GENERATION!"SHE LUNGES DOWN INTO YOUR HUMAN SHOULDER!>SHUNK!ANONYMOUS HAS TAKEN 15 DAMAGE!>Martha's spirit was so calm>So beautiful when you resurrected her>Is this what she spent all those years hiding?>He whole life>Spent in servitude of men>You can feel the edges of the knife dig into you>Martha whispers into the darkness between you and herM: "I mark this body. Mark my prey. May all his children FEED AGAIN!">The darkness around you>All of it>The shadows under the pews>The darkness where Martha's body which reeks almost like gasoline from unwashed sex and life giving fluids>Contains presences>Wood and flesh curl their like larvae being allowed to hatch>ANONYMOUS HAS BEEN MARKED BY THE HORNED ONE'S DISCIPLE>CLAWS AND FLAT TEETH GRIND OUT FOR YOUR SKINMAKE A DEXTERITY SAVE!Then name what do.
Rolled 5 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>2539115>M: "Your BLOOD WILL FEED THE NEXT GENERATION!"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WCFbdOOmOYWHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM, FUZZ BALL?! I'M ANONYMOUS! KING! AND SURE AS HELL AIN'T GONNA LOSE TO SOME HIPPY! Knock Martha's block off with our wand.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>2539115OWN plus Crucicrush
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>2539115supporting>>2539127but brain her head in with the wand
Rolled 2 (1d20)>2539115Good 'ol Crucicrush
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>2539115She dies, nowCrucicrush her into oblivion>>2539130actually no this
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>2539115Crucicrush Martha so that she's incapacitated. Tell her she goes by our rules or gets the press again like so many other of the supposed witches of her time. If she tries to cast anything? Combustion time.
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>2539115>>2539130>>2539136>>2539137Supporting squishing the thot
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>2539115
Hey guys, a cool idea was just presented. Let's use transfigure to escape whatever it is that requires a dex save THEN we attack Martha.
>>2539115>MAKE A DEXTERITY SAVE!Can we use Transfigure Spell to increase our DEX before rolling? Or morE accurately. Use TRANSFIGURE TO increase out DEX +10 and escape the claws and teeth.Also!Ask Luna if she can do the same for Martha that she did for the Puritan skellies that now serve us..
>>2539115>>2539137supporting using transfigure to escape her snarethen we wail on her with crucicrush
Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>2539115Supporting >>2539152
>>2539115>>2539150Supporting the Transfigure idea.
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>2539115"I am the one who brought you into this world, and i will be the one who lay you into the earth once again!"Battle her with a sword Muscles.Also unrelated question, do our scissors turn into a sword or i am just remembering wrong?
>>2539152>>2539115aaaand my DEX roll.
>>2539115backing this >>2539152
>>2539115Saves are for pussies.Use OWN.
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>2539115Bitches ain't shit, etc
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>2539115Dodge gud
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>2539115YOU WICCAN WANNABE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE
Rolled 15 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>2539115Crucicrush would work
>>2539115Actually, let's use Transfigure to escape and use crucicrush
>>2539152Extremely do this
>>2539152I can support this, let's combine it with OWN as well to see what happens
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>2539115WHO YOU GONNA CALL GOAT BUSTERS!!!
>>2539158>>2539152MY Dex roll!!
>>2539115>>2539136Yeah sure I'll change to Transfigure, may as well play with our new toy
Rolled 3 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>2539152ThisWe wanna open distance with her so we can get the god's approval for what we're about to do.
Rolled 1 (1d10)I shall reroll. For our selection.A: "I am either gonna kill you.">A goat head snaps onto your neck>Your eyes turn black>Except for the pupils>They burn>Gold>and Pink>The cracks in Muscles' flesh sear redA: "Or do something Much. Much worse."M: "I would DIE for my children. For the world I believe in. What could YOU possibly know about that!?"A: "Whatever. Fucks. Your Goat. Bitch.">The horned one makes a gesture similar to a human grinJosh: "Beth..."A: "Oh, SHUT UP Josh you fucking white knight faggot.">The gesture no longer merely resembles a grin
Rolled 10, 8 = 18 (2d10)>>2539214>>2539214DOUBLE-A-REROOL
>>2539191Get a load of this horse's ass
Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>2539227OWN+ Transfiguration
Rolled 2 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>2539214BUT WOULD YOU DIE FOR YOUR GOD?!
Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>2539214
>>2539249FINALLY! GOOD GOD!
>>2539252dude thats a 9
>>2539259I mean he finally managed to fucking roll. After, like, three tries.
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>2539214
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>2539214GOAT BUSTER
>>2539130THE WINNER!>9>oof+10 however...>>2539152>>2539150Due to your clever machinations.>19>>2539145+2!>>2539147-2>19>Not enough to escape their furious assaulthttps://youtu.be/FNdC_3LR2AI>The darkness explodes with branch textured arms>Split faces>Conjoined limbs>The ghosts of demi-godal children snatch at your clothes and flesh>Martha snarls down at you>She goes to twist the knife!https://youtu.be/GD0mHE1H5_o>Only to see your shoulder turn to crawling creatures>Your face crumples into the floor>You have transfigured>YOU ARE A SWARM OF FLYING INSECTS!>You take flight!>Blast yourself across the church>Every attack that is meant to rip and tear you...>Is absorbed by the swarm's teeming numbers!>Your wings whistle>Your mind is a buzz of hateful thoughts>Her children would have dragged you with 24 damage>The Swarm however takes HALF damage from physical sources!>ANONYMOUS HAS TAKEN 12 DAMAGE>Now that you're airborne you can better see the scene>Martha near the back of the church>With the Horned one behind her taking up the darkness near the back>The goth kids are a bit spread out>Bethany is a mess>Missing fingers and part of her face>Looks like a bear got a hold of her>Not the fun kind either>Not the ones from the dating appsA: "Mom. What can we do here?"L: "Has she hurt you?"A: "Yes."L: "Does she defy your will?"A: "That's a check yes."L: "Destroy her."A: "What about the Goat?"L: "His only saving grace is his humility. That can be un-learned."What do, bug boy?
>>2539278OK then. Cruci-Crush Martha.
>>2539278Well shit, fuck it save that Bethany bitch before going after Martha. Combine OWN with Crucicrush on her
>>2539278BUST HER GOAT
>>2539278Crucicrush the crazy witch
>>2539278Where'd the possum go!?>>2539289This, salvage what we can and destroy the witch!
>>2539278Crucicrush Martha, heal Bethany after.
>>2539278Crucicrush the witchbitchalso POSSUMBRO WHERE ARE YOU BRO?
>>2539278Cruci-Crush MarthaCruci-Crush Beth too, dumb fat bitch.
>>2539278can we take martha's blood via BFB and transfer it over to beth?
>>2539303>>2539301>>2539285How about we use OWN with Crucicrush? Experiment a little
>>2539293>>2539289>>2539285>>2539296>>2539297>>2539278>>2539301>>2539303I feel the need to remind you we cannot cast other spells while using TRANSFIGURATION.We'll have to reform into our humanoid forma gain if we want to cast spells or think of something else.We could retransform somewhere far away from her children and Martha, then cast.We could also try to Scissor in aid, or directly attack Martha using Swarm mode.
>>2539278Swam immolation.Good time.Then go heal the idiots.
>>2539316I figured cruci-crushing would naturally come with untransfiguring.
>>2539278First SWARM -> human and glide via cloak so we can get to actions other than moving.EVAC the civvies ASAP. Portal to a safe location or use undead to save them.Second priority is to establish with her god that it's okay to take her down. Ideally we don't have to kill her, but make her know her place under her gods will.Then we rek her.
>>2539316This >>2539324>>2539328Don't portal them, portaling in a fight leads to some bad shit
>>2539314>>2539311Cruci-Crush is already a spell created from using OWN with Starwalk to invert it's effects.
>>2539316Don't care just B U S T H E R G O A T
>>2539331I guess I need to be more specific in the Spell sheet...
>>2539278>Swarm into Martha's stomach>transform back to normal
>>2539278>>2539351This sounds too edgy not to support. She just gave birth... surely her orifices are stretched a little wider.
>>2539351Wouldnt we crush inside her as well?
>>2539278WHAT WAS GIVEN CAN BE TAKEN BACK>GRASP MARTHA AND RIP THE LIFE FORCE FROM HER>SWARM HER FLESH AND DRINK>BLOOD FOR BLOOD AND ONE WITH NOTHING
>Your insect mind is alive with wicked thoughts>Smashing>Slashing>Mashing thoughts>You want to burn these stains from your world>Erase their STINK and replace it with the acrid stench of Armageddon>The insects that form your body reform>You float in the chasm created by your earlier laser blast>You point down at Martha>Muscles twitching at your side>One of the goats bit him>He wants you to turn into the swarm again, crawl up their assholes and expand as a ball of muscle and blades>You pause>Look at your arm>Pat himA: "Jesus, christ dude calm down.">The Horned one spits at the sound of that nameHo: "Man worshippers.">You then resume your terrible visageA: "BE. STILL!"https://youtu.be/iVvXB-Vwnco>MARTHA'S BODY IS SLAMMED DOWN INTO THE CHURCH FLOORM: "MMGH!">She squirms under the weight of your spell>MARTHA CANNOT MAKE MOVEMENT ACTIONS UNLESS SHE PASSES A STRENGTH SAVE<>This save is based on your WILL SPELLPOWER>Anon's WILL SP is 23>She is physically incapable of escapingA: "Now. Maybe I have your fucking attention."M: "You destroyed. My. Future.">You land>Head for the wreck of a body in that doorway left by the goatsA: "I gave you your future, bitch. I gave you a body and you use for shit that's just...">You turn back>Raise your lipA: "Just NAzty."B: "Hmmgmuuh muh mahmee..."A: "Shhh, that's my line you dumbass bandwagon cock barn." >You could heal the goth kid>You could deal with Martha now while she's trapped>She is already whispering into her hands>ShakingL: "Anonymous.">A flash>More fluid splashes onto your forehead>No>No it's light>You're surrounded by light>Your whole body is enveloped in it>Your fingers are burning at the tips>Your nails have all turned to spraying blood blisters>Because the storm is here>Martha has struck you with a bolt of lightning.ANON HAS TAKEN 30 DAMAGE>You stand there>Your clothes fried>Your armor now your only covering>Slowly, the scales begin to regrow>You open your mouth>Only smoke>Only the taste of your own cooked flesh fills your nose>Your eyes>Your eyes can't seem to move>Your nerves aren't even real anymore>You barely manage a gaspANON IS AT 18 HPM: "My master's power...cannot...be bested.">The shadow behind Martha is faded>He is but blackness and a set of yellow glowing eyes>Martha skin looks scarred>Aged, somehow>She had to sacrifice for that hitWhat do?
Rip her in half with Muscles while using BfB. I've had enough of this bitch.
>>2539471Kill Martha to BFB heal us and the teen.
>>2539471BfB her, then crucicrush her ovaries and spine to truly deny her future
>>2539471BfB and rip her to shreds with Muscles
>>2539471>B4B AND OWN. TEAR THE LIFE FROM HER BONESYOU HAVE SQUANDERED THE GIFT I HAVE GIVEN YOU AND RASIED YOUR HAND AGASINT ME IN VIOLATION OF OUR PACT.SEE THE WORLD FOR A YEAR AND A DAY AND SEEK NOT MALICE.THE PACT IS BROKEN AND YOUR FLESH IS MINE.
>>2539471>insert Muscles down her throat>Have him expand/slice as much as possible>BfB while at it; if she dies, see if we can't use some of it to heal Bethany
>>2539471BFB until she's dead, redirect some of that health to Bethany. Wait for the inevitable plot related shitstorm that results because we used witch's blood to heal her blah blah blah.
>>2539471>BFB from her for health
>>2539483Nah it's cool man. Mutations aren't a thing anymore because we got gud at BFBing.
>>2539471>>2539475>>2539477>>2539478>>2539479>>2539480BFB + OWN to theoretically heal us and Bethany
>>2539489Yeah OK fine sure.
>>2539489Alright, alright. I'll support it
>>2539471>>2539489Experimenting is fun
>>2539471Wield our wand against her. As a Melee weapon. With muscles wielding it. BFB with the other hand? I think that option was available previously
>>2539504Jesus have we even used our wand so far?
>>2539471>>2539478oh yeah USE OUR WAND MAN
WAMD BFB AND OWN.ITS TIMESHES INJURED AND CONSTRAINED
>>2539506As a conduit for Massacre Wave, yes.
>>2539471BfB+OWN coming from our WAND. Gotta fucking use it for once
Rolled 5, 10 = 15 (2d10)>>2539489>>2539489Using your wand...to cast BLOOD FOR BLOOD...and ONE WITH NOTHINGAt the same time?HahaWow, Anon.ROLL WILL TWICE!https://youtu.be/2peUEAfxjD4>You step>Martha looks up>She's shakingM: "No...">Her face looks hopeless>Her body deflates as her skin, scarred as if SHE had been struck by lightningHo: "Are you sure, little human."A: "HHehh...">You blast smoke>Drool your own black bloodHo: "If I was once a god...">You raise up your wand>The crystal heart beats>Your human hand claws bloody streaks into the air>Muscles holds the brass tightly>Your jellied eyes twitch>You blink>Flesh falls from the corners of your eyesHo: "What does that make you?">He chucklesHo: "Something worse?"NOW ROLL!
Rolled 13, 10 = 23 (2d20)>>2539554DON'T FUCK UP
Rolled 2, 11 = 13 (2d20)>>2539554
Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d20)>>2539554Oh fucking boy
Rolled 14, 18 = 32 (2d20)>>2539554rollan for crits
Rolled 1, 4 = 5 (2d20)>>2539554
Rolled 13 + 17 (1d20 + 17)>>2539554Ohohohoho, something way worse.
Rolled 18, 16 = 34 (2d20)>>2539554here goes nothing
Rolled 3, 2 = 5 (2d20)>>2539554
Rolled 10, 15 = 25 (2d20)>>2539554Its a new world Cabron. Get in line or get fucked over.
Rolled 10, 19 + 17 = 46 (2d20 + 17)>>2539554Someone who has shit rolls at the worst of times.
Rolled 14, 17 + 17 = 48 (2d20 + 17)
Rolled 5, 18 = 23 (2d20)>>2539554lets go
Rolled 12, 10 = 22 (2d20)>>2539554
Rolled 11, 11 = 22 (2d20)>>2539554Never was one to disappoint the fans
Rolled 15, 8 = 23 (2d20)>>2539554
Rolled 19, 3 = 22 (2d20)>>2539554
>>2539630What have you done?
>>2539554I am a Dice in the Table. Watch how i Roll.
Rolled 14, 17 = 31 (2d20)>>2539554Yeah, no fucks given
Rolled 16, 18 = 34 (2d20)>>2539641
Quick pause on the Session. Quest has to do some businessing until about 11 central time
>>2539565>>2539565The first winner...>18>>2539630>>2539630The second winner...>3 total>>2539563-2>>2539623Amazing doubles.>18+17= 35>3+17= 20>55 totalThe DC was 51https://youtu.be/zoT2MgT2LVI>You are cast in shadow>The lightning up above flashes a brief image of your visage>Rain>Falls>Your hair slickens>Your armor regrows more quickly>Across gray and cracked skin>You raise your right hand>Wand grasped tightly>The heart beats>Faster>With wild abandon>Muscles' use of the magic is clumsy>Yet he has your brass instrument>The horn twists this world like clay>In your human hand>Still nearly skeletal from the burns>Lies your ultimate power>To strip gods of their divinity>To rewrite the universe>You have no idea what this will do to Martha>You are certain howeverA: "This...will hurt."M: "rrrRAAAAHH!">MARTHA'S CHILDREN RE-EMERGE FROM THE SHADOWS>THEY SHRED YOUR FLESH>TEAR INTO YOUR BONES>ONE OF YOUR EYES IS NEARLY CRACKED OUT OF YOUR SKULL>YOUR HP>IT WOULD BE ZERO NOW>If not for the spell....>THAT CRASHES DOWN FROM THE CRESENDO OF YOUR HAND AND WAND COLLAPSING DOWNWARD>ONTO>THE WITCH'S>SKULL>Anon casts UNRIVALED HATREDHe and Martha Swap HP.cont
>>2539889YES, EAT SHIT YOU FUCKING HIPPIE WICCAN THOT
>>2539889>ANON CASTS NO U
>M:UR MUM GAAYAnon:NO U
>>2539889>>2539889>THE THUNDER CLAPS OVERHEAD!>ENERGIES COALESCE INTO A VORTEX OF POWER>From the center>Utter ruin>Rises>YOU>Dust collapses from your shoulders>The fragments of a ruined form>You blink>Your eyes still feel petrifiedANONYMOUS IS NOW AT 24 HP>Your joints shake>Your hair slides down into your eyes>The goats cower and flee into the darkness>Their bleats are pitiful>Their jaws snap into the air>The shadows they occupy twist like cage barsA: "No...">You raise your wandA: "No escape.">They are in the darkness>You know that place>The obscure>The unknown>The unwanted>You left that behind>Muscles bonds with the Wand once again>Your teeth sear like overloaded electrodes as you speakA: "In my name. I have judged ya'll asses.">You lower the wandA: "YA'INT WORTHY!">KRAAKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWHHHm>The Massacre of the Goat-Spawn>Of the Lustful degenerates>Is complete>With a single swipe of your awful power>The church is left in ruin>The goth kids lay trembling in the grass>All aliveHo: "Amazing.">You turn to the sound>Your shoulders slouch>The horned one is free from the church>Standing over Martha's blackened bones>His fur waving in the storm>Some of the rain falls through him and hits the cracks in the stones below>Where they land>White flowers bloomcont
>>2539927>>2539927Ho: "I would grant you any favor in my power."A: "..."Ho: "Were I not about to die.">You see something in him>A light>Growing from inside>Something not corrupted>Or even organic>The pudgy one erupts into tears>Crawls through the slimeHo: "She is possessed by the vision...of what lies beyond."FG: "Please. Please, god NO. Don't just leave. I can keep you here! PLEASE! Let me...">She chokesFG: "Don't leave me here with them. In the grey, lifeless world.">The other goths looked stunned by her flash of eloquenceHo: "I feel I was meant for this...we believed we needed to be eternal. To be forever.">His bones are turning to gold>His fur changing from pitch black to tawny brown>His horns to silvered metal>His eyes twinkle like clean spring water>Like Untouched forest in the pupilsA: "It doesn't have to be like this.">He is fading>You>Stand tall>As Luna finally appears before the rabble>A parasol guards her form from the rain>Muscles curls back into a clawed hand>Points to the morphing god-corpse>As the Possum from earlier emerges from the rubble and claws up your armor's shirtA: "I may still have use for you."SESSION END!NEXT SESSION: SATURDAY! 7:00PM US CENTRAL TIME!https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5454620the tip jar (which has now reached $25 per month! Thank you, friends. TIME FOR SOME ART!)Stay blesst.Love,Quest>You point to the wet vermin hanging off of your shoulderA: "The possum's name is Atreus."At: "Hehhhhhh"A: "Quiet, Boy."At: "heh"end
>>2539934Cliffhanger! Gaaaaah... Bless you, you glorious bastardWe getting marching orders to think up during the week, or just ponder the events that have transpired?
>>2539934Quick, before he fades away, put the goat god into Atreus a la Luna and Anon style!
>>2539934You know, I came in thinking Goatse was going to be a hedonistic, slothful and arrogant asshole. But now there's this. So long Goatbro, you made me feel something.And to the anon who screeched at me that killing Martha wouldn't kill goatbro. Fuck you, I was right.
>>2539957He ain't dead yet, now get with the Possuming!
>>2539955No do that but with Janna instead of Atreus.
Fat chick is keeping him alive in the world for now, but not for long.>summon Janna becuase her Psionics can keep him alive>they can get to know each other at a psychic level and Janna can decide to accept him as a patron.>Janna gets to accept the power on her terms, no outside influences>explain that Martha was corrupting the God and her teaching.
>>2539965I want to give it to Janna too.. but I'm concerned about the "dammit, what about letting me handle things and make decisions for myself" aspect. Atreus may allow us the option for her to 'discover and obtain' the power on her own without having to know the assistance we played. Or we just be upfront with her... but then again, Horned One is about to expire right here, right now so...
>>2539991OK, how about we bring her here and give her the choice. If she choose him then they're bound. If not he goes to Atreus.
Rolled 8 (1d20)late roll coming through
>>2539991No time to worry about that now, deal with the fallout later.
A small UPDATE POSTKingdom stats have been SIMPLIFIED!https://youtu.be/222sgCgFNhsTo illustrate this.Here are Anon's current kingdom stats!Might: 1Magic: 2Tech: 1Influence: 0All of these metrics, are out of 5.For handy guide on where you stand. Here's AMERICA'S STATSMight: 4Magic: 0Tech: 4Influence: (on earth) 5Also.Because we've reached $25 per month on patreon (thank you, pals) We will start getting a fully illustrated character sheet for our allies once per month!https://www.patreon.com/posts/18653752Patrons should be able to vote. Anyone should be able to see it (and everyone will get the sheet when it's done)As always.bless
SESSION START!https://youtu.be/Kp1ruKhPOFs>Ok, Anon>You've done it again>Won a fight>Created a whole host of issues for yourself>The creature you wanted to give your friend super powers>Or at least access to them>The Horned one>Is fadingH: "When Martha died the first time. I was still a figment. A sort of dream.">He's towering over the ruins of the church>The wind and gentle rain stains his fur>Yet he's ghost-like>Partly see throughH: "Now there's no one who holds me in their heart. Or their mind. I'm...free. In a way. Connecting no one to the auld magic."A: "I gotta fix this."B: "beauuhh..."A: "Aw shit.">You gotta fix the PEOPLE too>Martha's kids were all a bunch of misshapen goat-men/phantoms>They ate>Terribly>So the person they tried eating is still alive>Just all in pieces>There's a beta on the ground, shrieking about how he needs to call the police>An ambulance>There's a fat girl trying to grab the Horned one's now golden brown fur>Half of it sticks>The other half falls through her handsL: "Parasite."A: "I gotta fix -most- of you."H: "I could probably die and be fine with it."A: "Fuck me you went from Dour to just fuckin' sad. I thought you were a god of nature."H: "Just because I'm a god doesn't mean I'm not...">He smiles>Showing his now flat teethH: "Wildly depressed.">Your new possum friend hisses>At that trash fucking jokeWhat do?THE SHEETS-Anonhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1R66kWytq_Ar3zyEA8R05DYJT0NNJiYT5uKAD4OdFOY0/edit#heading=h.d9kvn9j3sbnd-Quest Journal and inventoryhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1pf0s8VrRef23OUoV6IiF9gtMG8hQkg1U3XKdEI3GScs/edit#heading=h.au1f38jx02g2-Allieshttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1SM7bFhEvC0FVht_ai_TA3diyTQkp6jpOXi1beVWQ_qI/edit
>>2557138Call up Janna, we need to introduce her to her new source of magic. Goat man, you said you owed us a favor. We're cashing in, you're gonna be my buds patron and you're gonna be best buds with her. It's gonna be great.
>>2557138Use our mental link with Janna to find out where she is, tell her to drop everything and come with us for some accelerated witchery courses. Once she gets here, shove the goat spirit inside Janna.
>>2557138>Offer to bind Horny to Janna. The girl needs guidance and she appreciates nature more than anyone we know.>Scissors the Goat Beasts through THE HOLE, we'll deal with them later>BfB the survivors to a reasonable approximation of healthy>Text Janna for her location, then scissors her to the Goat Man
>>2557138MIND READ TO JANNA AND SCREAM HER TO GET HERENO TIME TO EXPLAINJUST SCISSOR OPEN A PORTAL TO WHEVER SHE ISWhen she's here get here to Meditate with DA GOAT while you fix, who as it again? Bethany? BFB her.
>SUMMON JANNA NOW
>>2557152Oh yeah, also heal all the other dudes but make sure goat bro stays alive.
>>2557138"So, i gonna be honest - i only want to give my friend something she wants. What could i do so you can live and give her power?"
>>2557138Heal the dudes, throw open a portal in tim- oh wait that's another dude's scthick. Get our not so girly friend Janna over here. Actually, fuck it, see if we can get Jackie too.
A: "Look. The whole reason I revived Martha was because she said your power could help a friend of mine."H: "Maybe they could have once. I've felt her presence, ya know. She's determined. A lass of character.">His voice has changed>It's not a rolling growl anymore>It's flute-like>Almost impishA: "Are you...transforming?"H: "Goin' backwards. To my first form. We're all nothin' at first. You. Me. Everything.">He shrugsH: "Guess I'm just goin' back to nothin."A: "Not if I can help it.">You turn to the dying girlA: "Aight. I just need some b-"-ANONYMOUS IS STILL ONLY AT 24 HP>Mm>This girl>She is in -seriously- bad shapeA: "Mom. Can I even fix this?"L: "Do you need to?"A: "Well...no. I just wanna help."L: "You're already helping -one- person that doesn't deserve it. Are you after a record?"A: "..."L: "This person is a stranger. She came here thinking she'd get power. Instead. She was used."A: "Well she didn't deserve it."L: "Do you know that?"A: "Mom -you- used my blood- Wait. No. I don't need MY blood."A: "You."J: "Me?>The Beta maleA: "You wanna save this bitch?"J: "I'd do anything for her.">Luna speaks>Her little eyes gleamingL: "Would you bleed?">He goes whiteL: "Would you bleed for her?"J: "Well-...what do you m-"L: "Liar.">He crumples>Shakes>The goths are more complex than you imaginedcont
>>2557326>>2557326A: "Fuckin' sissies.">SHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIp!>You open a portal>Back to Janna's trailerA: "Bananda?">You lean in>Atreus is curled up on your shoulder>He spots Janna's possum in the sinkJ'sP: "HEHHHHHH"At: "HEHHHHHH">They screm the entire time they can see each otherA: "Nope. Not here.">You lean back out>Atreus and Janna's possum both stop at the exact moment they can no longer see each other>So you psychically reach out to herA: "Janna. Where are you?">Nothing at firstA: "Janna please. It's about Martha."Ja: "I'm with Star right now."A: "YOU'RE WITH W-">You snap out of your link>Spit on the ground>Then get back inA: "Ok. Look. It's an emergency."Ja: "I'm about to summon a clown ghost."A: "That's awesome. It's also lame. You wanna be a witch or not? Where are you so I can show you the Horned One."Ja: "...You."A: "What?"Ja: "YOU can show me the Horned One!?">Your connection gets fuzzy>Blurry even>Your eyes bubble>SHRRRRRRRRRIP>You break the call>There's a portal opening in the air>Janna steps through>She has Star's scissors in her hand>A bible in the other that's been dipped in some kind of grease paint>Star's inside the portal>Sitting inside of a circle of candles>With a book laid out in front of her>Glossaryck's there>On her shoulder>He locks eyes with Luna and wavesJa: "Anon what the fuck do yo-...">Janna stops>Looks past you at the glitterous phantom of a godJa: "You fucking jerk.">She does not look happy>Not none at all>AnyWhat do?
>>2557330First off>Glossaryck's thereYOU! DON'T YOU GO NOWHERE!Secondly, Janna. Be mad at me all you want, I don't care. All I care about is you getting magic. I can bind him to you and keep him alive and give you magic. If you want to that is. If you don't want it, I can keep him alive another way. This is YOUR choice right now. Magic and a new friend, or none of that.
>>2557330>>2557343Doubling on the don't go away bit and Janna can be mad at us. Not supporting the binding business, it's up to her and the god to do that so yes, it is her choice. ALSO HEAL THE GIRL ALREADY, steal some vitality from the bugs around if we have to, especially if the beta's bein a bitch.
>>2557330>2557330" YEAH I FUCKED UP, SORRY! MET UP WITH MARTHA, SHE WENT RABID AND HAD TO GO DOWN, ALMOST KILLED ME. YOU STAB ME IN THE DICK LATER AND SUMMON FUCKZO THE MOLESTING CLOWN LATER. HELP ME KEEP HIM FROM DYING!You need to reach out to his mind, his soul, his being and "know him". Understand him as a spirit of nature or some granola shit. He's dying and only you can keep him here. I have to save this bleeding thot. Get star here to help with the magic, shes good at the whole clap to keep a fairy alive bullshit.">BfB on the goth kid for messed up boi. Blood donation time.>Get you and star to link magic again and help I don't know, enhance Janna's psionics or whatever.>Janna needs to open her mind to the goat, like full on goatse spread it and let him in.
>>2557330This here is good >>2557343 >>2557348
>>2557330"Look, before you star screaming at me, let me explain. I am not going lie. I fucked up. Also i may have or not comited a small scale genocide. Thing is, Martha was insane, and i was wrong in leading you to her. Horny here is dying, and he is the only way i know so far to you attain power. I KNOW it is not the ideal solution, neither what you wanted, but... im sorry for screwing up okay? But i am not sorry for getting ride of Martha">>Looks at Star."Also, can the both of you lend me some blood? There some teenagers back there kinda of dying, and man i am spent."
>>2557330By the way the Horned one is okay with Martha being dead. She was corrupting him with her Motherhood fetish and her resentment of men from colonial society. Also, fucked up goth is from Martha's children trying to eat.
>>2557330>"Yes I am absolutely the worst.">"I gave you something thoughtless of the consequences or what you might actually desire. ">"Now I am have even FURTHER messing with your life, now behind your back.">"Which is a horribly shitty thing to do.">"Now I am making ass backwards 'offers' that are really just me wanting you to do things like some kind of discount demon.">"I have MASSIVELY betrayed your trust and will do... whatever you want me to make up for it.">"...">"I was worried about you but I should have just asked. Rather than assuming and jumping in like usual."
>>2557343>Be mad but do what I want anyway is not a way to build a healthy relationship.>Also say high to star.>Ask the goth punk if he wants to be a coward forever. If he says no MAKE him bleed. Not enough to kill him but still.
>>2557330>>2557369focus on this
>>2557330>She did technically break our deal. By killing a ton of people. Which is why we killed her.>We came to TALK to her and the goat dude because we were worried about Janna.
>>2557401>Be mad but do what I want anyway>Giving Janna a choice>Do what I want
>>2557384>>2557415nonononoWhat went down between Martha and Anon was 100% their business. Janna was not really a party to our visit other than we had concerns about the person we resurrected and had a pact with.Martha violated that pact by allowing the gothlings to come to harm as well as raising a hand against us. She loony toons level nutso and we had to kill her. She almost killed us. She was also lying to Janna and warping her training to make Janna into a mini-Martha.What is happening right now, yes is a consequence of our actions but not intentional and not because we wanted to meddle in Janna's development or give her easy power or whatever. We resurrected Martha and were responsible for her actions and this is the way it played out. Now we are trying to keep goatman, a victim in all this alive and you, Janna are the only one that can help. I'm sorry if this pisses her off but this is how it went down, we can hash it out later. We meant no harm to her and are trying to keep things from spiraling out of control.
>>2557434Anger later. important thing now. NOW. WE CAN TALK LATER. We fought Martha because she was letting innocents die for an impregnation fetish. We had no intention of interfering, this kinda happened when investigating separately.
>>2557434>What is happening right now, yes is a consequence of our actions but not intentional and not because we wanted to meddle in Janna's development or give her easy power or whatever. K E KHAHAHAHA, Sure buddy.Martha might be a crazy bitch, but don't pretend anything we did was anything more than moralfaggotry.Justified moralfaggotry but we totally robbed Janna of her agency either way.She has every righr to be mad.
>>2557478He isn't pretending moral faggotry was involved. Our goal was to investigate. Not remove janna' s agency. That happened defending innocents. Beta has to bleed a little to save his crush. He won't die, just bleed a bit.
>>2557434changing to thisMartha was our responsibility after all(vote was >>2557403 , ip has probably changed)
>>2557478Are you joking, there was nothing moralfagging about this. We strolled in, demanded answers from the being we resurrected and had a pact with, and then was attacked when we tried to put down her rabid half breed children. THE CHILDREN SHE WAS BREEDING TO BE AN ARMY TO ATTACK THE MODERN WORLD, 100% IN VIOLATION OF OUR PACT.We told martha, A year and a day of seeing the world for what it was today before going and doing the shit she did.She raised a hand to us, the god that gave her life again and was put down like the rabid dog she was. Nothing moral about.
>>2557490>Our goal was to investigate. Not remove janna' s agency.Sure senpai, whatever you say.>Beta has to bleed a little to save his crush. He won't die, just bleed a bit.The cunts both deserve death desu, but that my be my edgefag showing.
>>2557330>>2557330YES. I KNOW. IM AN IDIOT. IRONICALLY I NEVER THINK OF OTHERS AND WHAT THEY WANT, EVEN AS I TRY TO HELP THEM.CAN WE TALK ABOUT THESE LATER?
A: "Ok, look."Ja: "Look!? I see already!">Janna points at the shimmering goat hologramJa: "That's him, isn't it!? You just WALK up in my business. MY. BUSINESS, ANON."A: "You got a right to be mad. Just listen."Ja: "I told you that I KNEW Martha's methods were messed up!"A: "Well we didn't know she was FEEDIN' NIGGAS TO HER KIDS!"Ja: "Yes. I. Did."A: " https://youtu.be/VsJc2ZhbXIg "Ja: "You fucking ASSUMED that YOU needed to get involved."A: "Of course I did. I did this to you. You didn't deserve to get a gigantic goat shlong up in you just for some basic ass Witch magic."H: "Gigantic?">Horned one looks down at his crotch>After a moment>He smilesH: "Death will be sweet."A: "I wanted better for you so I came to check on Martha's bullshit a-"Ja: "Anon I was already looking for ways out. I set up so much on my own and you j-"A: "I'M STILL GIVING YOU THE CHOICE!">You point to The Horned oneA: "He dies if you don't take him.">You point back at herA: "You get POWER if you -do- take him.">Janna looks at you>Her eyes so narrow you can barely make contact with themJa: "You think that sounds like a fucking choice?">Luna smirksJa: "Anon. You don't know shit about girls."A: "Fine. Be made at me. You got a right to be."cont
>>2557547>>2557547>Janna crosses her arms and listens to you for a momentA: "I put you up to this. Then fucked it up. Now I've accidentally Hitlered a race of goat-rocks and put you ass up for the magic you wanted. I'm...I'm sorry."Ja: "Anon. You already know -every- thing that you did was wrong...">She walks up to you>Shoves your chest with her fingersJa: "...and you fucking did it anyways.">She looks disgustedJa: "That's what's messed up. That you think you can just say what I want to hear. That it makes it ok.">She walks away>Looks up at the GoatA: "Martha was killing people! I TOLD HER NOT TO!">Janna won't look at youA: "Janna!">She's only looking upJa: "Hey."H: "Ms. Ordonia.">The horned one leans down>His rectangular eyes glistenH: "A pleasure, lass.">Janna pulls backJa: "So you know me."H: "Aye. Even better. Now that I can see ya. I see a free heart.">He turns his solidifying head back and forthH: "A rich one too. Rich in spirit.">He grins his flat grinH: "In dreams of glory.">Janna swallows>Tries to speakH: "I can even see yer favorite color.">He looks to you>Winks>You feel very un-needed all of a sudden>Luna pets your ear as consolationhttps://youtu.be/u9bk2MrMGaAJa: "What can you teach me?"H: "Och. Plenty. I've many names and lived in many places."Ja: "What about power?"H: "Mine is the power of the wood. Of the unrestrained and free and jovial. Or the mischievous. Depends.">His whole body shakes as the wind rolls through itJa: "You're gonna die if I don't take you, huh?"H: "Most likely."Ja: "I can't let that happen."H: "What if -I- want it to happen?"Ja: "Then too bad.">Janna raises her handJa: "This world needs more magic. Not less.">She offers it to himJa: "I'll join you."H: "Join me?">He smirks>Dances backward>His face melts to an even more man-like one>His horns face forward>He shrinksH: "To dance in the grass again! To prance. Be naked inappropriate-like. To burn down weddings! Crash churches. That's my way, girl. Can ya handle it?"Ja: "I wanna burn down a lot more than churches. I want an adventure. That never ends.">She chases him>18+8 = 26!>Does a triple spin and flip over his shaggy headJa: "Can you handle ME?">The Horned one is beamingH: "Life claims another victim.">He bowsH: "My lady."Ja: "Psh. We gotta work on your slang, dude."H: "Feel free. I do love little languages.">She and he head off for the woodscont
>>2557553>>2557553>As they run>The thunder clouds thicken>Janna sprints>He drops to all fours and gallops>Her skirt and hair blur>She grins at him>He turns into a stag>As they both vanish into the treesS: "Janna?">Star comes through the portalS: "Janna! My scissors!">You are sour as hell>Salted tooL: "Blue Fool."G: "Hello, Luna.">Your mom and Star's...blue uncle?>Are talkingJ: "I can't."L: "Oh. It speaks."J: "I- I can't bleed for anyone.">The fat girl is passed out>Beth is still meat salad>The beta is making a self realization>You think you just lost a friendWhat do?
>>2557560Heal the goddamn girl already and talk with Star, ask what they were doing to summon a clown.
>>2557560Whatever, let Janna go. We'll deal with her another day. Glossaryck now. Did you take our spells? True revival, universal travel?!
>>2557560>Ask Star to bleed for these idiots>"Why does trying to do the right thing fucking suck so hard?">Point at Glossaryck>"The spells, Blue. Give them back."
>>2557560>Call out to Janna mentally. "I really am sorry, if you ever forgive me you know where to find me. I hope you're happy. Door's always open."No reason not to be shitty even if she's shitty to us.>Turn to skinny kid "YOU CAN AND YOU WILL. TIME TO GROW UP.">Slash his arm with muscles and b4b meat salad and our own ass.>AFter that ask bluemanfu "Glossaryck, you forged the book in to a gem. Spells are missing. Did you remove them."
Also, Janna just took Star's scissors with a god that apparently wants to be a fae creature
Man I have the biggest smug grin on my face, but i'm sure you all saw this coming right?You DID see this coming right?hahaha, anyway.>>2557560Let her go, leave beta to his suffering, go back to the castle and sulk a bit.But only for a bit, we got shit to do.
>>2557560Fucking make Gloss spill his guts
>>2557598Yeah I saw it coming, it's just annoying because it breaks what we know about her character and the fact it could've all been avoided if she told us she was trying to get out of the deal already.
>>2557560call the beta a faggot and bfb beth using himsounds like a good time to go check out the arena planet
>>2557560>"Ay yo Mewgger, you wouldn't happen to have some kinda healin' spell for me, wouldja? I need more blood to heal these guys."
>>2557560>>2557627>"Well I mean that or your blood, that works too"
Look we can either be mad about Janna being not upfront on her side and hiding the fact that martha was a murdering thot and we were responsible for that and hiding that she wanted to solve this solo, or we can move past it and let her come to the realization that she was unfair to us. Mad or move on.I vote move on because we got other shit to deal with.
>>2557560>>2557626changing from arena planet to rezzing that clown becauseCLOWN
>>2557560In regards to Janna:>fuckin hell shit sucksChalk this one up to your own inability to really connect/understand people. Best to let things lay for now and hope for the best in the future. The way your life is, your paths will cross again.
>Ludo has the spells num nuts not glossy>kill yourself.
Eh, whatever, screw Janna. She can get angry about us interfering with her or whatever, but frankly our fight with Martha is none of her business. Yeah, sure, we wanted to guarantee that Janna wasn’t going to get screwed over, but we had at least a few other reasons to check in with Martha, and her thinking that she was the most important one is just kind of conceited. What we did, frankly, was save some kids life and defend ourselves when the goat monsters that we killed’s mom tried to whack us. I don’t really see the problem with that. The fact that we indirectly nearly killed the Horned One wasn’t exactly a thing we could predict, in character at least.
Janna needs to suck it up. Okay, sure, her plan didn't get to cone to fruition and that sucks for her. It doesn't suck for the people who would have been eaten alive during the time it took for it to come to fruition. Does she expect us to sit back and allow innocents to die horrible deaths just so that she can get in some personal growth and be proud of herself?She needs to put on some big girl panties and realize that her shit ain't gonna fly.>But Anon, you've killed loads of people!Yeah, and they were demon cultists planning in imposing their will over everyone else, government spooks who've tried to send us to some illegal blacksite or monsters who were already trying to kill us. We weren't luring some gullible dumb-fuck kids out to an abandoned church to feed our fucked up abomonation children with.
>>2557560Janna just wanted to be able to solve one thing on her own and you went and didnt event consult with her first.Acting like shes the one being a bitch is being naive to your own actions.Stop being an ass.Hopefully you can reflect on this and hopefully Janna might forgive us later.In the meantime heal Beth. Consult with Star and Gloss abut Luna's memory of her spells.
>>2557560Be angry. We just fixed our mistake and she get angry at us, them do the exactly same thing that made her mad at us?!?I mean, Anon is in the wrong here, but he isnt smart or mature enough to see it yet.
>>2557655I tell them this but they don't believe me. We picked up all the pages in the room. Doesn't mean some weren't missing or altered in some way. And thats on ludo.
>>2557661Are you idiotic? She wasnt angry we killed Martha. She is angry we didnt trust her enough that she could do it on her own.
>>2557560In regards to feelings on Janna, Janna was acting like an idiot and we got concerned and curious. about Martha so we went to her to ask questions then she revealed she was insane and we reacted. Which apparently Janna know this whole time. If she wanted us to do nothing, she should've told us about what was going on and how she had it under control. But no, she acted like a lost child and we got concerned and the rest is history that happened regardless of Janna. If Janna wanted to be left alone completely she should've told us, end of story.
>>2557675Well guess what, this wasn't about trust this was about "Martha's being insane and killing some kids and is trying to kill us." in regards to us killing Martha.
>>2557676Janna acted like Janna, Anon acted like anon. Such is life in the Quest.
>>2557675And I'm saying her way was taking too long. We're not going to trade the lives of innocents so our friend can be proud of herself.
>>2557560Move on we got other things to deal with. If, we wanna talk to Jackie or vise versa it happen later.Bfb goth boy heal beth.Talk with the blue goblin and star.Rez all of the dead and send them to the base.
If Janna wanted Anon to butt out, she should have known that telling him to fuck off and acting weird towards someone who made a serious promise to protect her is the best way to make him get involved. If she explained it as her handling the situation Anon would have just been ok and let her deal with it until she asked for help. The problem is that she is too prideful to admit that she needs people to help her sometimes, and that she can't just be the lone wolf her whole life.
>>2557560ANONYMOUS DID NOTHING WRONGWe brought back Martha, saw that she did wrong, killed her, and when confronted about it Janna tells us that she knew all along what Martha was doing.Maybe we shouldn't have been interfering in Janna's life but Martha was our business, and we had the right to look into it all.Let's ask star to heal the kids, or force the beta to overcome his struggles via forced bfbing.Let's go rez that clown to forget about this lost friend.
>>2557686>>2557553YOURE NOT BEING SINCERE RIGHT NOWWE DIDNT EVEN KNOW MARTHA WAS THIS FUCKED IN THE FIRST PLACEWE ONLY WENT TO MARTHA BECAUSE JANNA WANT GIVING US ANSWERS WHEN WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN STRAIGHT FOWARD AND CONFRONTED HER ABOUT THE ISSUEBOTH ANON AND JANNA ARE IN THE WRONG HEREANON FOR NOT CONFRONTING HIS FRIENDS ABOUT THEIG PROBLEMSAND JANNA FOR ALLOWING HER PRIDE TO GET IN THE WAY OR HELPING PEOPLE.DONT TRY AND PUT ALL OF THE BLAME ON HER YOU MONGS
>>2557707CONFRONTING JANNA WOULDN'T'VE DONE SHIT BECAUSE SHE WAS BEING A VAGUE LONE WOLF!
>Anon definitely did something wrong.
Anon is a good boyHe didnt du nufin
Look at things from Janna's perspective.She wanted to solve this problem herself. If she told anon we would have ganked Martha so fast Goatgod wouldn't even know he was dead. If she didn't tell us we would go poke anyway, but she would have some time to deal with it.She also hoped, just a little bit that we would respect her.That was what she was faced with and she chose her path. She's really more mad we didn't respect her choice.Now anon didn't do the wrong thing either, Janna was being really cagey and she acted in a way that broke our faith in her. Drugs, murder and anger all pointed to something going wrong. So we acted as we did and it ended this way.This is a tragedy of communication. Neither party really expressed their feelings clearly and so it ended this way.Now all we can do is choose how we feel and move on.>BUT WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IS ASKING GLOSSARYCK WHAT THE FUCK UP BLUE BOI! DID YOU FUCK OUR MOMMA!?
>>2557707JANNA SPARKED US WANTING TO LOOK INTO MARTHATURNS OUT THE BITCH WE REZZED WAS STILL EVILKILLED HERNOW JANNA'S PISSED BECAUSE WE FUCKED WITH HER PLAN OF USING EVIL METHODS TO GET GOAT BROGOOD THING GOAT BRO'S STILL AVAILABLE FOR HER TO USE WITHOUT THOSE METHODS OHHH WAIT SHE'S RUN OFF WITH HIMANON DID NOTHING WRONG, ASIDE FROM BRINGING MARTHA BACK IN THE FIRST PLACE
>>2557713SO YOU CONFRONT HER HARDER AND YOU GO TOGETHER TO MARTHA.NOT TRY TO TIP TOE AROUND THE ISSUE
>>2557707We went to Martha's to talk about what exactly she did to get power. We only killed her because her kids were eating people. If not for that we would've gone on to talk with Jackie and then talk to Janna about it.
S: "Anon? What was that?">You're nearly shaking with rageA: "Janna being a BITCH is what it was.">Star looks at you with a bit of disdainS: "Anon. It looked like you were upset at each other but not like, fighting. What's the deal with the U-turn?"A: "I just wanted to make sure she was safe with this stupid patron I set her up with. The goat thing!"S: "Goat...thing?"A: "Yeah! It was making her eat heroin!"S: "What's heroin?"A: "The witch that was supposed to teach her was EATIN' GOAT PENIS!"S: "Well. That sounds gross b-"A: "FUCK JANNA!"S: "Anon."A: "I DON'T NEEEEEEED JANNA!">You scream off into the woods>Atreus shrinks on your shoulder>You sniffA: "I'm a dick."S: "A goat dick?">Star looks genuinely confusedA: "A fucking ass.">You grit your teethA: "I was just FIXING MY MISTAKE. Doesn't she GET IT!?"S: "Pretty sure she hooked up with the goat like you wanted?"A: "I was worried!"S: "Did you say you killed babies?"A: "Yes. Yes I did.">You point at the ashes everywhereA: "All these ashes. Horrible goat babies.">Star thinks for a moment>Slowly raises her wand at youA: "They were evil."S: "Oh. Ok!">You slap your forehead>Look over to BethA: "Still mangled?"B: "Buruh..."J: "I can't. I can't, I'm sorry."A: "You sure are.">Muscles grabs the beta's head>SLAPS IT INTO THE GROUND>He's bleeding from the foreheadA: "That'll do it.">You siphon his health out into yourself>Getting a good 18 hp>He looks like a raisinS: "Anon, Stop!"A: "I'm not gonna kill him, Starfart chill.">Then you press your bloody palm to Beth's headA: "...My blood. For thyne.">The world goes red as you reconstruct her body with the magics Luna taught youL: "Mind the joints. Yes. Just like that.">You take your time for a second>Just to make sure you don't fuck -this- up tooA: "I fuck up everything...">You stopA: "Fuck Janna.">You continue>When it's done you turn to StarS: "...What happened here, Anon?"A: "...nunya.">You head for the portalA: "AYE Blueboi! We got business-">The Book>Glossaryck>It's goneA: "WHAT?!">THE BOOK AND GLOSSARYCK ARE GONEA: "WHAT THE FUCK!?">You leap into the portal>Muscles is a cork screw covered in blades>You're in a graveyard on earth>Most of the graves are torn up and disturbed>Your skelton's doingS: "Anon w-GLOSSARYCK!?">Star turns her wand up>Letting it glow>A beam emits from it>You follow the beam to a pricey looking sedan just outside of the graveyardS: "He's in there!">Star's already charging her wand>You recognize that car>From a night when you got tazed and shot at>The car has government platesWhat do?
>>2557713It's not about what would have happened, it's about not robbing her of her agency.She said she had a whole plan in place, if we had gone to her and she still didn't say anything then i would see your point, but we didn't even give her the chance.And that first encounter doesn't count, you litteraly saw the phrase "goat cock" and flipped out.
>>2557731I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS YOU FUCKING GOVERNMENT FUCKS! CRUCI-CRUSH THE CARS WHEELS AND GIVE CHASE!
>>2557731Scratch ghost clown funtimes, we gotta chase that car!
>The car is likely anti-magical>Starwalk into the air>Massacrewave out the road infront of it>Cut our way in
>>2557731Portal on top of the fucking car and crushicrush its tires.
>>2557731CRUCI-CRUSH THE ROAD INFRONT OF THE CAR AND MAKE IT FALL INTO A HOLE
>>2557731>>2557750>>2557750sure, changing to this
>>2557750This. Portal into the air. Starwalk. Shoot.
>>2557750Massacrewave has a charge time.
>>2557731Portal to the car and lift it of the ground and slam it down over and over again. Us hungering flame on said car.
>>2557731Is it close enough to tag with Crucicrush
>>2557731Grab Star with our Weak human hand and use Muscles to get on top of the car.
>>2557762>>2557762Thats fine, we can use starwalk to fly and chase.Star can hamper their speed with obstacles>>2557776Crucicrush isn't going to compress dirt and asphalt, but it would work on phonepoles and treesHere is a diagram
>>2557756Thatd just make the road much better. Crusicrush only increases the gravity applied to an object
>>2557781Help if I actually attach it.Also>When we land on the car they will open fire so we need to get our shield up. The issue with Janna should make that shield stronk today
>>2557731Actually fuck it, just make a portal in front of the car that leads them into a tree.
>>2557788The car is anti-magic. No idea if it would work, but Might be able to try as a free action
>>2557789>The car is anti-magicProofs? What proofs is there of that? Or are you just following what some random Anon said?
just grab car and flip it on it's side? Set tires on fire? Crush crush tires?>>2557789Proof?
>>2557791>>2557798okay so the first time we went up against the MIB they hit us with Pixie dust, which is anti-magic as shit. If we had time I would be all for hitting the car with something, but its moving away quickly and there is precious cargo inside. Too risky. Its very likely the car is enchanted or dusted in some way to prevent magic from hitting the car. I would mix pixie dust in with the paint and cover that thing with it.
I think we should assume the car is resistant to magic as well as any device they might have.Do not underestimate your opponent.Trying to physically stop the car is a safer bet imo
>>2557731Cruci-Crush the rear axle to disable the car. If it's somehow hardened against magic, throw a tombstone above the engine and Cruci-Crush that.
>>2557781>>2557787This guy knows his shit. Support
>>2557731Cruci-Crush the rear axle to disable the car with human hand while grabbing tombstone and throwing it at car with muscles.If that fails, Starwalk with human hand and charge massacre wave with muscles.
>>2557731>>2557770Changed my vote:>>2557838
>>2557841suspicious post linking
Rolled 6, 10 = 16 (2d10)THE VOTES!>Crucicrush in a rush5 votes>Massacre Wave the Road ahead5 votes>Slam their wham, thank you ma'am3 votes>Chase them1 vote>Portal shenanigans into a tree1 voteA: "MOTHER."L: "Yes?"A: "FUCKER!"L: "I'd play off of that, but there's no time."https://youtu.be/l8wWa3O9cUo>Star has her wand charged by the time you start sprinting into the sky>With every stomp>Another shockwave of red>Gold>Black energy glides outward from your feetS: "RUBBER OCTO-GRABBER BEAM!">A tentacle made out of shiny candy-like red elastic spews out of Star's wand!>It grabs the back of the car as it's cups give it the SUCC>You keep rising>If there were a way to levitate angrily>You'd be doing it>Your veins bulge and scream with energy>Muscles absorbs your wand>Coils it into his meat>Once you're high enough>YOU CHARGE MASSACRE WAVEA: "I'MMA FUCK YOU UP!"L: "Fuck it up, as they say indeed.">In your other hand you hold hate>HATE>HATE>Gravity based hateANONYMOUS!ROLL WILL FOR YOUR GRAVITY ATTACK ON THE CAR!THEN ROLL DEX!To try and control your dumbass for firing a huge knockback spell with no grounding.
Rolled 14, 13 = 27 (2d20)>>2557873HERE COMES THE ONES
Rolled 16, 19 = 35 (2d20)>>2557873LETS ROCK! LETS ROLL! CAR CHASE CITY PATROL!
Rolled 5, 9 = 14 (2d20)>>2557873
Rolled 7, 2 = 9 (2d20)>>2557873LETS DO THIS 321FUCK YOU
Rolled 16, 12 = 28 (2d20)>>2557873Give me a pair of twenty, momma need a new speel!
Rolled 12, 16 = 28 (2d20)>>2557873LET'S GO
Rolled 11, 5 = 16 (2d20)>>2557873do the things
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>2557873
Rolled 2, 3 = 5 (2d20)>>2557873
Rolled 13, 6 = 19 (2d20)>>2557873Time to spank the monkey
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>2557873
Rolled 4, 9 = 13 (2d20)>>2557873haha time for violence
Rolled 5, 2 = 7 (2d20)
Rolled 10, 1 = 11 (2d20)>>2557873Don’t worry, I got this
>>2557924Acid I will literally pay you 100$ to never roll again in this quest
Rolled 15, 12 = 27 (2d20)>>2557873
>>2557958You are not wrong, but lets save that Smurff first.
>>2557924REMOVE AKU remove akuyou are worst demon. you are the demon idiot you are the demon smell. return to not posting. to our Aku-poster cousins you may come our thread. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha , Aku we will never forgeve you. demon rascal FUck but fuck asshole demon stink shit-roller..aku-poster genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead aku..ahahahahahAKU WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget akus rolls.Aku poster we kill the king , Good rolls return to your precious thread….hahahahaha idiot demon and sku smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE AKU POSTERS FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. Good rollers + good posters =kill Aku…you will die/ Good rolls alive in thread, good rolls making album of nat-20s. fast rap Good rolls thread. we are crit-success and have 20s now hahahaha ha because of Good rolls… you are ppoor stink aku… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a yurtGood rolls alive numbr one #1 in thread….fuck the aku,..FUCKk aku- posters no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur flag and contry. Good Rolls aliv and real strong wizard kill all the aku farm aminal with nat-20 magic now we the good-rollers rule .ape of the zoo aku poster the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and shitrools wa;s born. stupid aku form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. nat-20 rollers best rollers
Anon did nothing wrong, change my mind
>>2557896>>2557896The WILL WINNAR!>13+17 = 30!>Damn, son>That's heavyCURSHHRRNCH!>The car's weight begins to crumple it's form!>The engine whines!>THE TIRES SQUEAL!>Star barely hangs on to the back end with her magic>her heels are digging into the earth>She flies up from the force!S: "AH! Why you!">Nat 1S: "WHOAHHoWH!">She misses catching a tree with her feet>She's flying around like a kite strapped to a bull>Your beam is about to bust>Yes>Just gotta push it>JUST A LITTLE MORE>Good thing your dex is-REROLLING FOR DEX SELECTION
Rolled 6, 9 = 15 (2d10)>>2558025Dice? Yoohoo, boys are you there?
Rolled 9, 6 = 15 (2d10)>>2558025Lemme help you with that
>>2558035>>2558037what does this mean
>>255803514 ,13 get
Rolled 1, 2 = 3 (2d10)>>2557896>>2557895No duplicates! So I'll take the 6 after this one.>>2557946Or not!haha>We take the 9>>255787913!I-...Oh, fate. Somehow your ghost still haunts us to this day.>Sick dubs, Anonhttps://youtu.be/ts0rgLgNKmM>The car's engine is blowing smoke>The tires are nearly melted rubberA: "BBy...gurl...I'm gonna-">You blowA: " Gonnapre.mp3">BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE>Your laser SLICES through the road>Debris and pipes and power lines go flying>Hundreds of houses lose power from your attack>The light of destruction>Is reflected in Atreus' beady possum eyes>He basks in itA: "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH">The issue would be that you're off target>WAY off target>Being weightless, you're rocketing around in the sky like a Chinese nuke>Headed straight down for Californian Soil>Your focus shifts>Your stomach heaves>You are immune to fear>You are not immune to bad choicesHow many more people have to suffer for your ignorance?>You see power transformers explode before you go face-first into the cement>Then you see cement>Because aforementioned>You go headlong into itCRACK!...ROLL CON!S: "Anon!">With you cracked and smacked the sedan is getting headway>You can't see it, but the sound of a fully alive although struggling engine is quite clearIf you can get your skull together, Anon.What do?
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>2558086
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>2558086
>>2558086We really are having a bad day.Just.Rip the cars roof up.
Rolled 13, 6 = 19 (2d20)>>2558086
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>2558086
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>2558086Throw Star at them
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>2558086
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>2558094>>2558086
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>2558086hopefully our thick skull saves us
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>2558086
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>2558086Ask star for help
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>2558086God damn, let's just keep it simple then. Directly assault the car, rip off the roof and tear out the motor. Please, for the love of god, let Star provide some decent backup.
Rolled 3 (1d20)Cruci-crush that fucking car again. It worked fine the first time.
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>2558086
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>2558086I won’t fail this time
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>2558086
Rolled 9, 9 = 18 (2d10)A night of re-rolls it seems.A night of getting what you deserve.That's not nearly as passive as you're meant to be. Quiet, you.
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>2558025ITS YEET OR BE YEETED
>>2558159>>2558152HahaOH wowhttps://youtu.be/aVqC7LBUPDQ>It starts with you throwing up>All that motion>All this rage>You cry a little as your stomach empties>It's mostly acid>Bile>You chokeA: "Euugh...Mom I-">Again>You throw up mid sentence>The car starts to putter off>Star tries to hang onShe gets a fucking 2 as wellS: "AAAAAAHHH!">She slaps into a light pole>Flies off>Lands in a bushS: "OOF!">A few raccoons flee from it>Atreus hisses at them from his perch on your back>They make gang signs>You sniff vomit into the back of your throat>Shake>You can hear Star running back into the dark streetS: "Glossaryck! GLOSSARYCK!">It's too late>She runs down the street after the burning car>She's too slowS: "No! NOoononononooNOOO!">She has to stopS: "Anon...">She turns back to you>Her eyes wideS: "We lost him. I lost him...">You want to say something>Your ears feel like they might pop out of your skullS: "I lost my friend.">You throw up again>Your vomit is so lacking in food now you can see your reflection in it>A chunk of some mystery meat-looking substance sends ripples through your>Haggard>Empty>Angry face>Star's lost a friend>So did youhttps://youtu.be/Hg8l1ZAza3IWhat do, Anonymous?What. Do.
Rolled 13 (1d20)I’m just gonna roll this to see if we really are cursed to roll 2
>>2558222Then we get him the fuck back.
>>2558222Star you clod, didn't you just track him with your wand like five minutes ago? Come on, this shit ain't over. Fly on after where it drove off and give chase. We ain't losing this one today.
>>2558222"fuck that shit"pull Glossaryck from the land of the dead or what ever shit he is at
We pool our knowledge, contacts and spells and we hunt them down.
>>2558243Ignore that, all the hype made me misread things. Glossy's dead. Right. No he isn't. We've had this happen. Star, where do you get your magic from? That should be where Glossy is.
>>2558222NOT FUCKING YET BITCH.WE STILL HAVE OUR SCISSORSWE CAN FIND THEM IF WE PORTAL UP INTO THE SKY AND SEARCH FOR THEM
Follow the car you retards.
>>2558263this, Fly up and cruicrush them again.