>Oh shit nigga' what's this?Konoha Clan Quest, you play multiple members of a Ninja Clan in Konoha, that one place from Naruto, and do wacky shit.>Oh cool, what about waifu's and shit? Can we cuck some fools?You all decide who you wanna' romance, how you wanna' romance 'em, and other shit. Cucking may or may not be encouraged.>How do this work?I make posts, ask you how specific character would react or what they'd do, ya'll put up suggestions, most popular one wins. Rarely will I ask you to choose A,B,C, etc.>How do you do such cool things OP?It's all thanks to you guys.>Why'd you change your name?Because everyone was calling me Moonrunes anyways. Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Konoha%20Clan%20QuestStats: https://pastebin.com/t7Lde1wtDiscord: https://discord.gg/Z4zuRTb>Remember to vote on the threads. Everything looks better in purple. Or gold. Whatever.
>Last time, on KCQ...>Hiki fought the Hyuga Elder, ended in a tie.>Sinchu, Iruka, and Kakashi disguised themselves as hot babes....>Hanabi got kidnapped by an undead Dosu....>And now Taka, Lee, and Kiba are fighting Dosu in the forest...>Oh, and bears are attacking the Village.>DATTEBAYO!
Now then, you're currently using the Iron Dragon Jutsu to fight Dosu....while he's still holding Hanabi.1d100-10DC 70
Rolled 43 - 10 (1d100 - 10)>>2114258
Rolled 40 - 10 (1d100 - 10)>>2114258
Rolled 85 - 10 (1d100 - 10)>>2114258
Oh, also, just giving everyone a heads up here. At the beginning of January I'm going to be taking a two week break from Konoha Clan Quest to try out a Dragon Ball Quest I've been havin' rollin' around in my noggin' for a while. If it becomes popular enough, I'll run that to, though KCQ will still be the primary quest so expect it to update more often than the Dragon Ball one.
Rolled 64 - 10 (1d100 - 10)>>2114258>>2114270Just don't spread yourself too thin and burn out.
Alright, seems about as many people as we're gonna' get right now.You passed, congrats.Writing.
Rolled 15 - 10 (1d100 - 10)>>2114258
>You are Taka>And you're a dragon, RAWR!You let out a mighty roar, the trees around you shaking a bit from the vibrations it gives off as you and Dosu rush each other in the air. It seems like your roar also had the added benefit of canceling out his sound attack, as you see a shimmering distortion in the air between the two of you before it pops and disappears. Even with Dosu's attack stopped for the moment, you have to be careful not to hit Hanabi in the process. "Let her go!" You shout, your normal voice coming out. Darn, you'd hoped you'd get like a cool, mature dragon like voice. Guess not.Dosu chuckles, dodging a tail strike you send out before he shunshins onto your back. "Not a chance. I got very specific orders to keep this girl out here until a certain someone shows up." He back flips off you as you try to slash at him with your claws, then lands up on a tree branch. "Shouldn't be long till they show up, given how fast word spreads through this Village.""Leaf Hurricane!" Lee shouts, attacking Dosu from behind. The Sound shinobi blocks the attack with his free arm, but gets knocked off the tree in the process. At the same time, Kiba and Akamaru leap through the air, grabbing Hanabi from Dosu's grasp and landing far away from him."WE GOT HER!" He shouts, holding the little girl up in the air like a trophy or something. Kiba's grin turns into a frown however, when he notices that Dosu's detached arm is still holding on. "What the fuck?!" He shouts, trying to shake the limb off...by shaking Hanabi around. Oh boy. "KIBA STOP!" You roar, wobbling over to him. You're still not used to walking around with dragon legs, and it's not exactly a big enough area to fly around in either. "Young children have fragile neck bones that aren't fully developed yet, you could hurt her!""Well excuuuuuuse mister knowitall, but there's a fucking arm still attached to her!" Kiba shoots back. Right then Dosu's arm smacks Kiba in the face, then punches him in the nose, knocking the boy backwards and causing him to drop Hanabi to the ground. The arm starts to wriggle back to Dosu, dragging Hanabi back with it, before you stomp your foot down on it."Hmmm, kind at a disadvantage here." Dosu says, scratching his head with his remaining arm. You watch as his rotted mouth smiles as he reached behind him and pulls out a little scroll. "Good thing I got backup.">What do?!
>>2114283Nah bro, I'm like, totally cool with it. I'll probably just do the Dragon Ball Quest on Saturdays if it becomes popular enough, with KCQ on the weekdays.
>>2114327>grab Hanabi and book it
>>2114327Paralyzing genjutsu. The same one that Sinchu was teaching Naruto and Karin.
>>2114270>>2114343What's the Dragon Ball Quest, if you don't mind me asking? Hopefully something not "Now you're on Earth with the Z Fighters, go through the whole series."
>>2114327>Young children have fragile neck bones that aren't fully developed yet, you could hurt her!Let's hope Hanabi wasn't awake to hear that.>>2114348Yeah, let's just go.inb4 Lee princess carries Taka while Taka princess carries Hanabi
>>2114327>Grab Hanabi and GTFO>>2114343Moon not to sound like an asshole but please don't, there's too many Dragon Ball quests. I just want me dream for a Dresden Files quests to come to life
Grabbin' Hanabi and bookin' it wins, smart. 1d100DC 69(lol)>>2114354Sort of like this quest with you all playing multiple characters. I've been talking to Brushwood, the guy who ran Another Dragon Ball Quest, and he gave me permission to use Saff in mine if I wanted to. You don't see any quests where you can play a child in Z, so it was fun. Also you'll be playin' a mad scientist character, what kind of science would be up to ya'll, and one other character that would be up to ya'll to decide.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>2114361
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>2114361
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>2114361CHEESE IT!Also, neat.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>2114361Rolling...
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>2114361
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>2114361
Rolled 36, 67, 18, 42, 13 = 176 (5d100)>>2114365Very nice. A 100 would've been a clean getaway, but this gets you some good distance my man.Rolling for Lee real quick, to see how he handles what Dosu brought in. DC 80
Rolled 28, 52, 87, 71, 27 = 265 (5d100)>>2114372Eeeesh, well maybe Kiba' will have a better chance. Same DC
>>2114357You know what, you're right, fuck Dragonball! Run a Dresden Files game!
>>2114379I'd literally have to reread all the books, and as fun as that sounds I'm more than likely going to fuck up a Dresden Files game than I would a DB one.Also writing.
>>2114379You do me proud anon >>2114381If you worry about fucking up consult with I, Chaos. I'll make sure that you get caught up and make sure things aren't so fucked
"Yoink!" You reach down, scooping Hanabi up in your arms and start to run away, which is a lot more difficult considering you've got fat dragon legs instead of your normal little boy ones. Seriously, how did these things get around at all?! "Kiba, Lee, I believe in you!" You shout as you run off into the forest. You can hear an explosion happening behind you, as well as a roar from some beast that's so loud it shakes you to your very core. Your friends will be fine...hopefully."Nnnn, huh?" Hanabi finally wakes up, looking around in a confused state before she looks up at you, and your big dumb smiling dragon face. "Hanabi, you're awake!" You shout with glee, your normal voice confusing her no doubt. Dragons don't normally sound like good little boys after all. "We have successfully saved you from your kidnapping, and you didn't even get hurt!""...my hero!" She says, hugging against you after a moment of confusion. Maybe a little too tight considering she's practically choking you. LIttle girls are scary sometimes. "So, what happened exactly? I just remember walking to wards your Clan's compound, and then I felt sleepy, and now I'm here..." She grins. "In your arms, running through the forest.""Well-" You start, then hear that roar again, only this time it's much, much closer. Shucks, what now? This Jutsu's draining your chakra like crazy, and you're not exactly sure how much longer you can keep it up if you get into a fight. You could try running away, but whatever is chasing you might gain on you. You could also try flying, you've got wings, but you don't exactly know how well that would work, since you've never tried it.>What do?
>>2114385I put myself in your capable hands Chaos.
>>2114395Why are we still in dragon form at all? > Return to normal, create shadow clone decoys, and scatter
>>2114395Land and get out of dragon mode, time to get a moving. >>2114403By the Dark Gods and the fallen Primarchs I'll make this shit good
>>2114395Change out of dragon mode and book it.>>2114410Would that work? Since it's an animal, wouldn't it just smell the real Taka?
Mmmkay, ya'll wanna' switch to normal Taka.What then?
>>2114432Leg it to the Hyugas and give a heads up to people along the way (or just Hiki) that Dosu's up and alive again. Number one goal rigt now is make sure Hanabi's safe
>>2114432Hmm, Iron Clones
>>2114426Eh. It's not necessarily a beast. He could have summoned some kind of goofy sound weapon that amplifies the users voice to deadly levels, or something?However, if it is a beast, we could tie pieces of Taka and Hanibi's clothing on each decoy?
>>2114432Clones as decoys please...
Clones wins.1d100DC 80 please.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>2114458
>>2114432Just book it to the village and get someone who isn't a child to help us. Or well, someone who's more competent than the average child. Like Hiki, or Neji. Or Anko.
Sinchu is like the dumbest person ever, no one responds to his finger guns the way he wants because nobody knows what guns are.
>>2114466>That spoilerOh you.
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>2114458Rolling...
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>2114458
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>2114458Your dragon ball quest will fail.
>>2114479Probably.Or do you just really want a Dresden Quest too?
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>2114458
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>2114481No, focus on this one.>>2114458
Passed.Well done sons.Writing.>>2114485I need diversity in my life anon, you can't go your whole life only eating white bread.
>>2114489You say that, but Suzu's customers would argue otherwise.
>>2114489Yes you can, who the fuck eats those other breads?
>>2114469>because nobody knows what guns are.What? Naruto has guns. They're not prominent, but they appear every so often in the background and such.
"Hold on." You dispel your Iron Dragon Jutsu, landing to the ground with a running start with Hanabi still in your arms. "It's a good thing I've been building up my strength and stamina, huh Hanabi?" You ask."....hmmph." Hanabi pouts, crossing her arms and looking away from you. What, what'd you do now?!Oh well, you'll have to ask her later, for now you need to confuse whatever's chasing after the two of you. "Tetsu Style: Iron Clone Jutsu." You don't shout it out, like a lot of other people do in your Clan. Turns out that's not a requisite for jutsu's, you can actually use them without announcing what you're doing. Anyways, two iron clones of yourself and Hanabi pop up, giving the both of you salutes before running off in different directions. You and Hanabi head off to wards what you suspect is back to wards the Village.You don't make it far however, when you start hearing the grunting and loud foot steps of an animal. "Hide." You whisper, ducking into some bushes with Hanabi as the two of you wait it out. A few moments pass before a large, dog like creature with a long black mane steps into your line of sight. The creature shambles about, eyes pure white, as it sniffs around the air for a second, growling at not being able to find you no doubt. You peer a little closer, noticing a Sound headband wrapped around the creatures neck.A second later Dosu shows up, reattaching his severed arm before he too looks around. "Dammit Kin, you can't do anything right can you?" He says, before kicking the creature in the ribs and causing her to yelp in pain. "Which way's the scent leading?""Tha...that way...." The creature painfully says, nodding one direction. "A...aaand that...way." She says again, pointing another. It slowly starts to dawn on your that, much like Dosu, somebody must have experimented on another Sound shinobi, and that's what this creature is in front of you, some sort of...chimera of man and beast."Hmmmph, so they split up. Fine. You go that way, I'll track'em this way." Dosu says, him and the dog creature splitting up."Taka...." Hanabi whispers, shaking slightly. "What...what was that?">What do?
Who wants breads?https://exhentai.org/s/08bf6f7722/941432-23https://exhentai.org/s/c1e4eb7e1c/941432-43
>>2114516Well....this wasn't what I expected. I'm up for ideas here
>>2114516We didn't send a clone in the direction of the village, right? Wait a little bit to make sure Dosu and his summon can't hear us, then head to the village as fast as possible.
>>2114530What, you didn't think I'd just toss Dosu and the others aside did ya'? Besides, Kabuto's a little more mad doctory in this setting.
>>2114516> "... Try not to think about it Hanabi. Let's get back to the village while they are distracted chasing down the clones."
>>2114516>I don't think I want to find outBegin heading to the Hyuga compund, Hanabi will be safe there.
>>2114540Hey, I had a feeling Dosu would get resurected. Just didn't expect Kin to be turned into a chimera>>2114544Supportan
Village/Hyuga Compound is pretty much the same thing. You just want to get to somewhere safe.Okay then. Last time for rolls to get out of the forest...you sure there's NOTHING ELSE you want to maybe, think about doing here? Something that would, I don't know, HELP YOU in navigating out of the forest?
>>2114559I dunno, climbing to the top of the trees? It's not Kiba. You don't need to smell to know what direction you're going.
>>2114559I dunno, the Byakugan is able to look very far away right? That should do, ask Hanabi to guide us.
>>2114559I dunno, Genjutsu Release?
>>2114559Ah, I assumed we knew where we were. My apologies. Get to the top of the trees to see shit, Hanabi can use her special eyes to help navigate.
>>2114571This is a good idea. There is no reason why we shouldn't use Hanabi as a navigator and a spotter...
Rolled 6 + 15 (1d100 + 15)Mmmkay, with that Hyuga Byakugan bonus, you get to roll...1d100+10DC 75.Congrats, you just made things easier.Oh yeah and...rolling for the person who Dosu was waiting for.
Rolled 46, 95, 21, 16 + 15 = 193 (4d100 + 15)>>2114585That was supposed to be 5d100...here's the other 4
Rolled 13 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>2114585
Rolled 82 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>2114585Rolling...
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>2114585Well->>2114588Nevermind, rollan
Rolled 29 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>2114585>>2114588For fuck's sake, Moon, stop being so lucky.
Rolled 12 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>2114585
>>2114595Hey, you passed.But guess who else passed?Writing.
Rolled 25 + 15 (1d100 + 15)>>2114585
>>2114602>But guess who else passed?Snuggles, the Eater of Babies?
>>2114602The Third.Wait no that's after this.
"Hanabi, I need you to use your Byakugan to help find us a way out of here." You say, being careful to whisper a low as possible. You don't know if the Sound shinobi have ways of detecting the vibrations in your voice, but you don't wanna' take any chances."Right." She says, activating her Byakugan and looking around carefully. "..keep heading North for about twenty feet and then stop." You do as she says, moving carefully through the bushes and behind the trees, carrying the little Hyuga in your arms until you reach the point she was talking about. Hanabi looks around again, getting a worried expression on her face."What's wrong?" You ask, starting to get worried yourself."N-nothing. I thought I saw someone. Okay, keep moving North-East for ten feet, then we'll reach a a small small, go down that and then another ten feet we should be at the edge of the Village.""Good girl Hanabi, thank you." You can feel he wriggle a bit in happiness against you as you move forward. Just as you reach the edge of the hill she was talking about you feel a draft at the back of your neck. You're not sure if it's pure instinct or what, but you automatically duck and start to roll down the hill, before crashing into some bushes."Hmmmph, missed." You poke your head out of the bushes, seeing Dosu peering down at your from atop the hill. He tilts his head. "Gonna' need you to hand over the little brat there.""No way!" You shout back, then duck as a furry paw strikes out at you. The human dog creature is back, growling at you as you back up until your back hits a tree. Dosu jumps down, landing beside the creature as he grins at you, tilting his head even more. Dammit, what happened to Lee and Kiba?!That's when you hear the whistling sound, like something moving very fast through the wind. Dosu and his comrade hear it too, and the two of them jump out of the way as something smacks into the earth where they just were. When the dust settles you're surprised by who it is. "Hinata?""Big sister!" Hanabi cheers, jumping up and running over to Hinata. She stops half-way though, looking confused. "...Hinata?"Hinata slowly turns her head, and you see strange black marks flowing on one side of her face, the whites of her left eye completely black. "Were these the two who took you Hanabi?" She asks, her voice much more scary sounding than usual."...y-yes." Hanabi answers.Hinata frowns, and you notice that small points of sharp chakra appear on her finger tips as Dosu and the chimera stand up. "I'll make sure they won't hurt you anymore.">Oh shit son>What do?
>>2114645>"Woo, kick his ass!"
>>2114645>That won't work, he had his head ripped off days ago and just put his arm back on earlier. We need to just run, or keep him down long enough for us to get away.Also,>we'll reach a small small
>>2114660Wait, Hiki told Taka about the exams, right? Or does Taka not know what happened to Dosu?
>>2114666He knows, Satan sir.
>>2114645Whew, it's just Hinata. GoodWell let's go and get someone to help out Hinata. Maybe Hiki, AND THEN COME BACK FOR THE TAG TEAM MATCH OF BROTHERS VS. EXPERIMENTS
>>2114645> "Thank you Hinata. I'm going to get Hanabi back to the Hyuuga compound then bring back help. In the meantime, please be careful. They use sound-based jutsu and the humanoid one is undead."
>>2114645We need to remember to check on Lee and Kiba. I'd rather they not be used for the Resurrection Jutsu.
Rolled 20, 1, 16, 51, 2 + 15 = 105 (5d100 + 15)Completely fine with this wins it seems.Taking a thirty, need to shit.In the mean time though....Hinata's rolls coming up.
>>2114689Oh wow...She's jobbing even harder than Ko...
>>2114689GOD FUCKING DAMN IT HINATA, THIS WAS NOT THE TIME TO JOB
>>2114695>>2114700>>2114703To be fair, Dosu and Kin were expecting her to show up.
>>2114689It's like our rolls the first half of last thread.
>>2114689Well that happened>>2114695>Implying that's even possibleEllipsesnon I thought you were autistic not retarded. But then again you are just a constant disappointment
We back. Writing Hinata's jobbing now.
"Be careful Hinata, they use sound based Jutsu and-""I KNOW!" She shouts back, frowning at you long enough for Dosu to rush her. HInata whips around, trying to stab at Dosu with a combination of her Gentle Fist as the Chakra Claws, but the undead shinobi dodges them all before slamming his fist directly into her stomach. You watch as the back of Hinata's jacket explodes, though thankfully her body is okay, before she's sent flying backward into a tree. "Ungh." Hinata gets right back up, ready to attack again before the chimera creature rams into her from the side, knocking the girl down again."Hmmm, not sure what Orochimaru wants with you, but orders are orders." Dosu turns his attention back to your and Hanabi slowly working to wards you. "Kin, keep the target pined down while I finish off these strays." "N-no!" Hinata shouts, spinning her whole body around until she slams her palm into the chimera's face, knocking it bac. She jumps between you and Dosu, breathing heavily as those black marks start to cover more of her face. "I...I won't let you hurt them!" Dosu tils his head, the chimera jumping in right beside him and growling. "Not like you got much of a choice. You're so damn weak this is hardly a challenge." Dosu grins. "At least the kid with the eyebrows put up a fight before I took care of him.">What?>Do?
>>2114792>"Hey, you're pissing me off!">Throw shuriken at him and replace yourself with one of the shuriken so you can throw one while his back is towards us.
>>2114792Akamaru piss in the eyes outta knowwhere. OH MAH GAWD IT'S EVERYWHERE. How exactly does our control of iron work? Could we snake it through the ground to hook it through his feet and hold him in place?
>>2114792>HANABI, RUN AND GET HELPGet in a fighting stance, boys, gotta hold them off.Body obliteration may work. Fire jutsu, limb cutting, whatever works to keep him from building momentum. Only use iron body in bursts, sound resounds better off of metal.
>>2114792> Make an iron clone to carry Hanabi to safetyWe probably don't have enough chakra to be helpful in a fight, but maybe we can inspire Hinata to keep fighting despite her doubts and crippling anxieties...> Motivational speech no jutsu
>>2114792Use our kotetsu to create shuriken and throw then. This forst strike isn't to hit, then we control it with our iron manipulation and make the shuriken hit Dosu's back.
>>2114804That's possible, but it'd require a high roll.
>>2114810>>2114815>Letting Hanabi all by herselfThat's how we got in this situation you know
>>2114803>>2114808>>2114817Shuriken>>2114810>>2114815Hanabi goes off while you fight.Okay then boys. First off do you...>Regular Shurkien>Or Tetsu Shuriken where you try to direct it after you've thrown it?Later would require a higher roll.
>>2114819She wouldn't be entirely alone, she'd have a clone escorting her. Although I suppose that's not much of a consolation is it?...> Or Tetsu Shuriken where you try to direct it after you've thrown it?What's the advanatge this has over doing it regularly? Isn't the point of this tactic to miss the initial attack?
>>2114832It's so you can cause it to boomerang back and hit Dosu when he isn't suspecting it.
>>2114825>>Tetsu ShurikenI'm feeling it.
>>2114837Mhm...> Regular Shurkien
>>2114825>Regular ShurikenHanabi can find Hiki and have him come by
Rolled 7, 37, 86, 48, 49 + 10 = 237 (5d100 + 10)Regular Shuriken wins it seems.1d100DC 80.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>2114861Rolling...
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>2114861i got dis!
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>2114861Eyy, good job Hinata. Papa Sinchu believes in you!
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>2114861Hey Hagaromo help me out here will you?
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>2114861
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>2114861nat 1
>>2114863>>2114865>>2114867>>21148721 roll left, could you clutch it?>>2114873YOU DOOOO!writing.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO LEE?!" You shout, placing Hanabi down as you throw a shuriken directly at Dosu. He dodges it easily. "You'll find out soon eno-ACK!" Of course, he didn't anticipate a second shuriken in the shadow of the first! Your second attack lands, striking Dosu right in the throat as the soun shinobi stumbles back, ripping the weapon from his body before scowling at you. You see black ooze start to...well ooze out of his neck wound, where some stitching look to have been placed as well. It stinks to high heaven. "You little fuck.""Eight Trigrams: 32 Palms!" Hinata shouts, spinning and striking at Dosu with everything she's got. The Sound shinobi, already caught off guard by your attack, can't even defend himself as Hinata's strikes literally began tearing pieces of himself off, more of that black ooze coming out of the wounds. "Rrrrrawgh!" The chimera creature leaps forward, trying to attack Hinata from behind, but to your surprise Hanabi jumps into the fray as well, striking the creature from below and knocking her off balance.The little girl quickly turns around to look at you, joy on her face. "Taka, did you see what I did?!"You give her a thumbs up. "Yes Hanabi, thanks to your short stature you were able to attack that creature most effectively!""....hmmph" Oh come on, why's she pouting now?!"HANABI'S NOT SHORT!" Hinata screams, whirling around to face you after slapping Dosu away. She stomps to wards you, anger resonating off of her just like how it does with Suzu when somebody grabs her butt. "She's a growing young girl! SHE JUST NEEDS TO DRINK HER MILK MORE!" Hinata shouts again, you see Hanabi blushing and hiding her face in her hands behind her. "NOW APOLOGIZE!">what do?>haha, Hinata yelled at you!
>>2114894Hmm, we should probably focus on the enemy, just a thought.
>>2114894... Thank you, Hinata, I don't know what would have happened if you weren't here. However, you are scaring me right now. Very much so. Why are you so angry?
>>2114894>meekly: i'm sorry, miss hyuuga
>>2114894>Hinata, we have more important problems. Dosu can just reform himself, and he's after Hanabi.
>>2114894thought theey were down for the count, changing >>2114914to support >>2114918
Rolled 73 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>2114918Looks like this wins.Roll me a quick 1d100+2DC 75
Rolled 74, 96, 70, 44 = 284 (4d100)>>2114921...and here's the other 4.
Rolled 31 + 2 (1d100 + 2)>>2114921
Rolled 13 + 2 (1d100 + 2)>>2114921
>>2114894>Too much milk will give her bad cholesterol, are you crazy!? She'll get blood clots early on!
>>2114894> "I was merely stating a fact, no offense was intended. Hanabi is short, and so am I, we're both still quite young. The fact that Hanabi was clever enough to turn something which would hinder a lesser person into an advantage is one of her many admirable qualities."
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d100 + 2)>>2114921
>>2114921>>2114922Holy shit Hinata
Rolled 75 + 2 (1d100 + 2)>>2114921
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>2114921Rolling...
>>2114936>>2114937what did the dice mean by this?
>>2114945Sure, now it's a +4 and you got a 79. Oh and many fishnets shall be thrown upon Hiki. Writing.
>>2114894>"HANABI'S NOT SHORT!"She's just efficiently sized
>>2114953Bueno>>2114956A fine way of putting it
>>2114953>Oh and many fishnets shall be thrown upon Hiki
Why would a bunch of lactose intolerants force themselves to drink milk?
>>2114965>Implying they are
>>2114965>lactose intolerantsHave you seen Hinata's tits? She definitely drinks her milk.
You gulp. "My apologies for seeming insulting in anyway to wards your sister Hinata." She gives you a curt nod, seemingly accepting your apology. "But we had best focus on the battle at hand, Dosu can simply reform himself if need be.""He can do that?" Hinata, shocked for a moment. You feel that same tingling at the back of your neck that you felt before, and you duck just as the chimera beasts lunges at you from behind. Hinata smacks it away with another series of well placed strikes, her Chakra Claws doing much more damage against this beast than they did against Dosu. Hmmm.The chimera is tossed over to Dosu's wrecked form, wining as it tries to stand, only to collapse upon a heap of itself. Hinata's strikes were aimed directly at the beasts tendons in its feet. You honestly feel sorry for it, no doubt whoever this used to be had no say in what was done to them.Dosu stands back up, reattaching a large chunk of his arm as he stares down at the chimera, shaking his head as he does. "Pathetic Kin." He looks back up to Hinata, who's back into her Gentle Fist stance. Dosu cracks his knuckles, looking ready to go on before a rustling in the trees alerts you all.Out of the forest comes Kiba and Akamaru, parts of them covered in the same black ooze that was coming out of Dosu, and Kiba's missing his jacket. "Surprise motherfucker!" He shouts, leaping at Dosu with two kunai. The Sound shinobi dodges the attack, leaping into the air.That's when you see a naked blur whoosh through the air before slamming directly into Dosu, knocking him way, way back into the forest. Lee lands in front of you all, taking a Dynamic Pose as he turns and gives you all a thumbs up...and he's completely naked."Wow." Is all you can see, staring at Lee in his...youthful appearance. You also cover Hanabi's eyes, though you wonder if that'll do any good after what she's seen."Yes, it is I, Rock Lee!" Lee shouts, turning around to face Dosu again. "You thought your tar like substance could hold me, and it almost did." Lee starts to tear up a bit. "But I made the hard choice to give up my prized jumpsuit in order to face you once again. NOW PREPARE YOURSELF VILLA-""Lee he's gone." Kiba says, pointing to where Dosu was a moment ago. "He just kinda' disappeared while you were talking.""Oh." Lee says, sounding sad. Poor Lee.>What now?>Still got that chimera there.>What would Taka do?
>>2114982>I dunno. He isn't even a genin.
>>2114980>That videoWhat the fuck
>>2114980The reason Naruto was shitting himself is because the milk was spoiled>>2114982Is the Kinmerha there and still able to fight or there and unable to keep fighting?
>>2114992Dude the chimera had it's tendons fucked up by Hinata's sperg fest strikes. It's down.
Lee, Kiba, and Hinata are our senpai here, they should be making the decisions. I say we defer to their judgment.
>>2114982>Lee, put some pants on man! Hanabi's a young girl!You can never dig a deep enough hole.Also, I'd say Taka being Taka would capture Kin and try to take her to go and get help in the village. While under watch.
>>2114993Well let's show some mercy and bring it back to the village. Maybe find a way to undo the shit that happened>"Lee put on some pnats there's a little girl here!"
>>2114995Oops. Kin's the one under watch, not Taka.
>>2114982Well, the thing can talk so lets take it with us for interrogation. Lets get the fuck out of here.
>>2114982Get lee one of those little dangling things he can wear to cover his bits. Then drag Kin to the third.
>>2114982>"Dosu mentioned that he was holding Hanabi until 'someone' arrived to pick her up. Given recent events, and the fact that the sound ninja have been transformed into horrifying perversions of the natural order, I think it may be appropriate to assume that Orochimaru is nearby, or will be nearby soon. We should return to the village and report on what has happened."
Looks like you wanna' take Kin back with you for interrogation.Let's see if a certain someone will let you.1d100DC 85>>2115010Who's to say that certain someone didn't show up already.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>2115014
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>2115014>that dcshit...
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>2115014Rolling......Wait. Is someone here not know they appear to be?
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>2115014
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>2115014
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>2115014
>>2115030Have we only succeeded with clutch rolls tonight?
>>2115030Looks like Taka swapped his R's for L's.
Right on then. You successfully convinced Hinata not to gank chimera.What was his reasoning for this though?Also sorry for the late reply, pupper needed to poo.
>>2115063He feels sorry for the poor thing and noticed that it didn't want to hurt anybody.
>>2115063> "Dosu mentioned that he was holding Hanabi until 'someone' arrived to pick her up. Given recent events, and the fact that the sound ninja have been transformed into horrifying perversions of the natural order, I think it may be appropriate to assume that Orochimaru is involved. We should take this one for interrogation. Once we do that we may be able to get information on Orochimaru's whereabouts. Once we do that we can eliminate Orochimaru. Once we do that there will be one less person in the world trying to kidnap Hanabi. Sound good?"
>>2115069Yes it did! It wanted to eat us!
>>2115073>>2115069Need a tie breaker between these two.
>>2115063I just felt bad for her. She was having a pretty shit time the entire session. Plus, she probably won't ever walk again.
>>2115085Oh, it's a vote. >>2115069I'll support this. Without the "it didn't want to hurt anyone" part, if it doesn't start a 3 way tie.
>>2115063>"Hinata, this thing was once human. It's suffering, besides it can speak and could tell us something that could help the village. I know your angry, but please just calm down and think of the good that the information can do. Please, don't kill it. We can also probably reverse whatever was done to it.">>2115069I'll vote for this, just add my green text
Alrighty then, writing.Probably gonna' be the last post for tonight. Will have another session tomorrow at the same time.
>>2115069This one since it isn't too long. Besides, this abomination didn't choose to be an offense to life itself.
You stand up shakily, Hanabi helping you up a bit. You've exerted yourself way more than you were expecting, not mention used up a whole bunch of chakra because of the Iron Dragon jutsu. Your eyes are immediately drawn to the chimera, the creature whining as it lays on its side. "We need to take it...them back to the Village." You say."Yeah, not like it's gonna' be able to do much right now." Kiba says, surprising you. Then again this creature does resemble a dog, so that makes some sense."I agree," Lee says, having fashioned himself a loincloth out of leaves. Thank goodness. "Attacking an opponent while they are helpless is something only a villain would do.""No." Hinata says, surprising you all with how angry she sounds. "This thing tried to hurt my sister. I'm not bringing it back with us so that it has another chance to hurt her.""Hinata," You start, earning a quick glare from her. "This thing can't hurt us anymore. And if we leave it here it'll probably die.""GOOD!" She shouts, causing Hanabi to hide behind you. "If it dies then that means it won't be a threat anymore.""Hinata what's gotten into you lately, you've been all pissed off at like, the smallest things." Kiba asks."Maybe I'm just noticing how the world actually works now." She shoots back."Hinata, whatever this thing is, it doesn't seem like it wanted to be this way." You say. "I heard the way Dosu was talking to it during the fight, how he treated it. Leaving it here, it'd be cruel." Hinata looks like she wants to argue again, but then the creature lets out a pitiful groan."N-not...not a it...." It whines."...fine." Hinata says, stomping past you and taking Hanabi with her in the process. "But if she hurts anyone, it's because of you." And with that she's gone, leaving just you, Lee, and Kiba...and the creature."Lee, would you mind...?" You gesture to wards the chimera."Okay." Lee bends down, scooping the creature up onto his back before the three of you rush back to the village, passing by many bear carcasses on the way.>End.>Hope ya'll had fun>Any questions?>Next session tomorrow about the same time.
>>2115137Fine run Moon, goddamn man I felt a bit more than I thought I would. How thankful is Kin for this?Since Dosu is a zambo and Kin is a chimera, what the shit happened to Zaku?
>>2115137Thanks for the run.>>2115152He died in the sewer, I'm pretty sure.
>>2115137You think Rin likes bear meat?
>>2115162Dosu got his head ripped off and here he was now pretty alright. I'm sure that Helmet's done something with Zaku
>>2115175Oh, that's what you meant. I dunno, penis hands? Yeah, Moon would probably go for penis hands.
>>2115152She's confused as to why you'd help her. It'll be interesting to see where this goes.Also as for Zaku...well you'll see.>>2115166Who doesn't?
>>2115137Thanks for running Moon. It was great session as usual...
Hey, heads up ya'll, we'll be playing in four hours. Get yer' waifu hats ready.
>>2116312Fuck yeah!!ANKO BEST HIKI WAIFU FOR RIFU!
>>2116312Ramen 4 lyfe
Could actually start up the quest right now if we've got some people ready.
>>2116719I'm ready for fishnets to play.
>>2116719Ready and willing!
>>2116719I'm ready moon.
>Right then, we'll be doing a small time skip to the next day, mostly because you guys did pretty well that there weren't any loose ends. Bears were taken care of, some of them even captured. Plenty of meat and fur to go around.>As such you'll be playing as Hiki again(don't worry we'll get back to Sinchu and Susumu eventually). Sensei Ko has asked where you'd like to train at, since he wants you to be at your most relaxed while learning to fight without sight.>Anko will be there as well because she heard of your heroic bear slaying skills.>And she wants free sweets because you're Suzu's kid brother.>But mostly because you're awesome.>So, where do you wish for your training to take place.
>>2116740The forest of death.
>>2116740Uh, I dunno. It needs to be a secretive place so Agon doesn't peep on us. Do we have some sort of hammer space training area like Yoruichi and Urahara's?
>>2116740surely the Tetsu compund has some open places for spars and shit, one that's away from where people frequent.
>>2116740I say we train on the Tetsu compound.
>>2116751No.>>2116753>>2116757This is an option, although Sinchu will be around resting because of his wound, and no doubt will annoy the fuck out of Ko.
>>2116758Worth a try.I'll back the forest of death if someone else does too. Don't want to start a tie.
>>2116758Forest of Death. Plenty of noise pollution there to get used to, and we could even go for fighting a bear or two to test how well we've progressed later in the training.
>>2116758alright then, I'll change >>2116753to the forest of death.
Forest of Death it is...why isn't this surprising?Right on, writing.
>You are Hiki>And Miss Anko's here too (>O~u~O)>"Why did you choose to the Forest of freakin' Death again?" Sasu asks as he swats at some larger than normal mosquito's. Kori's right behind him, having brought with her a large backpack of camping supplies and bug spray, or as she calls it the "Essentials". Bugs never bothered you before, but then again not everyone has such a high concentration of Iron in their blood like you do. "I was allowed to choose, and this is where I wanted to train." You answer, carrying a much larger backpack than Kori has on your back. Inside are the basics, training weights, weighted clothing, two pairs of dry jumpsuits from Might Guy, and the salted meats of two bears you killed yesterday. You wanted to bring four but you just didn't have the room. "Couldn't pick somewhere nice though, like the beach, or...the beach?" Sasu whines again.Hmm, though you do see his point, there are lots of sharks near the beach, and you haven't actually had shark fin soup in a while....Your train of thought is interrupted when the three of you finally come into the clearing that Ko Sensei told you to meet him at. You already see that there's a fire going, as well as two tents set up, one for you, Sasu, and Ko, and the other for Kori..."Hey yo, it's the little bear killin' kid!" ....and Anko. You feel your heart start to thump like crazy as you walk closer and closer, unable to take your eyes off her as she eats some dango and chugs on, what you can only assume is, beer. Is it even noon yet? You don't care, Miss Anko's here. "What's happenin' little Hiki?""H-h-hullo Miss Anko." You say, bowing in respect....and causing all your training equipment and bear meat to spill out. Oh no, this is just like the spaghetti incident back in daycare, except there's not a hole you can hide in here!"Hiki, please don't go spilling your equipment everywhere." Ko Sensei says, helping you pick it up."Yeah, not until he buys me a drink first, right Ko?" Anko laughs, nudging Ko in the side as your Sensei just deadpans. "Eh, eh? Get it?""Yup, got it." Ko says, helping you with the bear meat. "Hiki I can set this up in the tent, you go and try and relax a bit, we're going to get started right away into your training.">Well shit>How does Hiki relax?
>>2116829No warrior is a true one without deep meditation. Sadly, Hiki doesn't get much meditation done with a god in his head, but he tries.
>>2116829With wourkout, how else?
>>2116829>Oh no, this is just like the spaghetti incident back in daycare, except there's not a hole you can hide in here!>mfw>How does Hiki relax?A workout. Just enough to get him stretched out and warmed up.
>>2116858>A workout. Just enough to get him stretched out and warmed up.This makes sense. Also yay Anko!
>>2116829Meditating, gotta have more character than being a punch autist
Mmmmkay. Workout is a win.Are you going to take off your shirt like usual though, in front of Miss Anko?
>>2116886Eh fuck it, TAKE IT OFF
>>2116886We wouldn't relax if we didn't do what we usually do, so yeah.
Right then.1d100-5DC 75 not to spill spaghetti in front of Anko.
Rolled 66 - 5 (1d100 - 5)>>2116907
Rolled 32 - 5 (1d100 - 5)>>2116907
Rolled 48 - 5 (1d100 - 5)>>2116907Dont fuck up please
Rolled 89 - 5 (1d100 - 5)>>2116907
>>2116925That was close there Cairn....er, I mean Anon.Well unless the last roll is a 1 you pass. Writing.
Relax, right, yeah you can do that. You decide the best way to relax right now is with some good old fashioned light stretching. You take off your shirt, tossing it aside before you start your stretches.Then you hear a loud whistling sound, and cautiously turn your head to see Miss Anko grinning at you as she chows down on her dango. "Puttin' on a show for me Hiki?" She ask, grinning."N-no ma'am." You say, turning back to stretches. No, no you won't be embarrassed by this, you're Hikigaya Tetsu, you killed a high ranking mercenary with your bear hands, you beat the Iron Box, you killed so many bears yesterday, you're not about to let something like a little cat calling get to you. But then again, this is Miss Anko...NO! No you're strong willed and not gonna' think about the fishnets. Think about something else, like....like something Sinchu would do right now, yeah! What would Sinchu do right now?"Hiki, this is your inner Sinchu speaking to you. Don't do what I would do. That is all."...shucks. You stand up straight, finished with your stretching as Ko and your teammates come over to you. "Alright, the way I see it there are three ways we could start you off," Ko says. "The easiest ways would be for you to learn from Kori and Sasu first, as they're still in the basics of blind fighting, or sensing people without seeing them, and then work your way up to my regime." Ko jabs a thumb at his chest as he says the last part. "Or, you could try mine first, it'd be the most difficult to learn, but it'd make Kori and Sasu's training easier for you down the line.""And the third option?" You ask?"All three of us train you at the same time, which, in theory, should produce a new type of ability to sense for others in you. It'd be the most difficult though.">Hmmmmm>What do?
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>2116973Well, let's see this roll. If it's good then give me all of the above, if not then slow and steady
>>2116982Ehhhhh.Also you still have to pick one of the three.
>>2116973Third option, go big or go home.
>>2116973Let's start with the third option. If it doesn't go well for a couple days, we can switch to the first option, which would also let us enact the "Don't Sleep For Nearly 2 Weeks" plan.
>>2116973"All at the same time, even if this doesn't work it should be the most time-efficient."
>>2116973Hm, well give me all tof them at once I suppose. Opperation Zatoichi is a go. Get it?
>>2117002>>2116996>>2116991>>2116990>>2116982I'm gonna' pull one out of SOM's book.1d100DC 94You chose this.
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>2117015
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>2117015>SOMI REGRET EVERYTHING
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>2117015Rolling...
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>2117015>pulling a page out of SOM's bookEw why
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>2117015Y'ALL NIGGAS TOOK THE HARDEST OPTION. WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?HERE'S A 1 FOR SHEER SPITE
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>2117015
>>2117038ONE ONE HAND, I FUCKING DID ITON THE OTHER, I WANTED TO SPITE EVERYTHING
>>2117038Spite op, pls nerf.
>>2117038Thanks for failing to get that 1 anon, also>>2117039>2 seconds>Profusesweating.gif>>2117044Is your dad hitting you anon?
>>2117038Well done Allcaps anon
>>2117038>Another clutch.Taka and Hiki need some sort of last roll bonus. Like if they don't have a malus on a roll, they get +5 on the 5th roll only, or something like that.
>>2117038I don't freaking believe it...Also>"Hiki, this is your inner Sinchu speaking to you. Don't do what I would do. That is all."Hiki's inner Sinchu is much more wise and mature then the real one.
"Hit me with everything at once." You say, cracking your neck as you head to the middle of the clearing, Sasu and Kori already following behind you. You stop as you see Ko watching you, thinking to himself. "Sensei?" Does he...does he not think you're capable?"Hmmm." Ko looks around a bit, examining the surroundings before he brings out some shuriken and kunai, tossing them around until he's made a large circle for you all to train inside. "You can get a bit of a sense of where iron is, right?""Uh, yes Sensei." You say, nodding your head."Good. With the kunai and shuriken acting as a line, you should be able to tell if you're going out of it with your eyes closed." He then smiles. "That way you don't destroy anymore trees.""Pfft, he'll just do that anyways." Sasu says, though he's grinning as well.Training over the next goes much better than you were hoping for. Sasu's teachings are simple and direct, close your eyes and keep your ears open. It's pretty much based around fighting in the dark, rather than actually fighting blind, but it still proves helpful. The only problem is you need to be fighting someone who's making noise in order for this to be effective.Of course Kori and Ko's training helps you cover that small problem. Kori teaches you to sense for the moisture vibrations in the air, using the hair on your eyelashes, or arms. Ko takes it a step further, and teaches you not to listen, but to feel. Everything, even down to the most minute action, requires one to use both their stamina and their chakra. By sensing for this, not even someone in the air can get the drop on you. That is, if you manage to perfect it to Ko's level. That's still a ways off.By the end of the week, you think you've come up with something extraordinary. You remember long ago, back when Sinchu first got Nerscy, that he got a big book on spiders, and in it, it told how they would sense for vibrations using the stiff hairs on their body. Almost like a sense made for spiders, or something.You decide to take that, and put your spin on it. By Tekkotsuing the hairs on your forearms, you find that you're better able to sense both vibrations, and chakra this way. The tiniest tug on your hairs tells you where the enemy is coming from, and before long you're able to dodge actual attacks from your team.Which brings you to today, one week after you entered the Forest of Death."Well done Hiki." Ko says, breathing heavily as he takes off your blindfold. You look around, the encircled area filled with holes, smalls fires, and puddles of mud. But, you didn't leave the circle. You're happy about that. "I think you've managed to pick up a new ability, just like I thought you would. As you are now I believe you have a fighting chance against Agon, a few more days and he shouldn't even be a problem for you."
>>2117108"Thanks to you, and my team Ko Sensei." You say, smiling up at him."So," Sasu says, leaning against his bokken. "What'cha' gonna' call this new ability anyways?">Hmmm? What do you call it?>Oh yeah and guess what?>1d5>Let's see who shows up.>1. Gaara>2. Temari>3. Kankuro>4. Rasa>5. That Fucker Danzo
>>2117110Oh and taking Fifth roll.
Rolled 1 (1d5)>>2117110I'm up for ideas to name it
Rolled 5 (1d5)>>2117110>Hmmm? What do you call it?The Iron Spider Jutsu.Don't actually call it that. I'm bad at names.Also, we should thank Anko for her emotional support being here.
Rolled 1 (1d5)>>2117110
Rolled 4 (1d5)>>2117110Rolling...
>>2117124Best. Possible. Outcome.
>>2117110Iron Sights Technique?
>>2117110> NameTensu style: Iron Pallesthesia
>>2117110Metal Arachnid Sense. Or better yet, Full Metal Arachnid Sense! Maybe just Arachnid sense.>>2117124Very good anon!
>>2117137damn, that's a good one.
>>2117137Let's just go with this one so we can continue.Get ready for you best buddy, writing.
>>2117153Hey Moon, couldn't we just sense the Iron in someone's blood or is there not enough of it to be that effective?
>>2117153time for more autists trying to hold each other's hand
>>2117160It's just one of them anon, don't fuel the /y/
>>2117163What we really need is a date with Anko. or more of Best Girl Suzu being cute.
"Iron Pallesthesia." You say, earning confused looks from everyone around you. "What?""I don't know, that just sounds like something your brother would've come up with is all." Kori says, then smiles. "It's a very good name though Hiki." You puff your chest up a bit, proud of yourself for coming up with such a good name. "So what's it mean?" Sasu asks."Closest translation would refer to vibrations I believe." Ko says, scratching his head a bit. "Though it's been a while since I've studied my Greek.""The fuck's a Greek?" Sasu asks.Then suddenly you sense it. You don't know if it's because of all the training you've been doing, or if there's just some deep, primordial connection going on, but you don't even have to turn your head to realize who just walked into the clearing. "GAARA!" You shout, whipping around and rushing to wards your Sand friend. The red haired boy looks a bit unsure of what to do really, he probably wasn't expecting all of your friends and your teacher to be here too. Oh well. "I've been wanting to see you, but training has...kind of taken up a lot of my time.""S'fine." He mumbles, digging his foot into the earth a bit. "Are you...still training right now, or are you free? I need to ask you something.">Hmmm, what do here ya'll?>Just hold his hand you fuckers.
>>2117176Why not both? Train and hang out with Garra.
>>2117176>A break can be had. What do you wish to speak of?
>>2117169You have the right idea. If not Anko then Temari >>2117176Train/hang out with our friendo
>>2117176>I'm free. I actually just finished naming it. What do you need?
>>2117176>I just finished, what do you need?
>>2117184A good idea, but it sounds like he wants to speak with Hiki privately first......>>2117185Supporting...
>>2117192>Implying that training can't happen away from other people with just the two people training being alone
Right, writing.Prepare yourselves.
>>2117176Look at sensei and our teamates and ask then if a break can be done. Ko is our sensei and our team mates our friends. Nee to remember what tesshin said about the way we treated then.
>>2117204inb4 FemGaara is actually a thing.
"Sure, I just got done with my training anyway," You smile a bit, placing a hand on your friends shoulder. The sand covering his body doesn't even react like it used to you notice. "Plus I'll always make time for you.""...okay." He says, barely a whisper.You turn to your comrades. "Gaara and I are going to go have a conversation behind those trees.""....HAHAHAHAHA!" Sasu busts out laughing, falling to the ground and kicking up dirt as your Sensei just shakes his head, with Kori blushing something serious. Hmm, wonder what that's about? Oh well."So," You say, once you and Gaara are alone. "What did you want to ask me Gaara?" You watch as Gaara closes his eyes, breathing heavily for a second before taking a nice, long breath and calming himself. "This Village, how important is it to you?"What a strange question. "Everyone in the Village is my family, if one of them feels sad then I in turn want to make them feel better." You answer, just as the Third taught you. Village and Clan are important.This seems to cause Gaara to frown a bit, as he bites his lip. "So...if someone attacked the Village, you'd do everything you could to stop them then?""Yes, without a doubt.""Even if...that person was your friend?" He asks. Well now he's looking at you like a guilty puppy.>Hmmm>What do?
>>2117208That'd be pretty amusing, but I don't think so. The overwhelming majority of us voted against FemGaara when Moon asked us whether he should include it, and I don't think he'd veto such a conclusive consensus...Gaara probably wants to talk about how we aren't going to be participating in the tournament beyond our match with Agon...
>>2117219>"I don't understand. All my friends are family as well, and family doesn't fight."
>>2117219>The Sand are still going to invadeGod. Damn. It.>"Gaara...what are you saying? I would never do that."
>>2117219>What's going on Gaara? Why are asking about this?
>>2117219>"Why would my friend attack the village?">"...Unless it's been invaded by Bears again!"
>>2117219Yes. Although, I'd try to understand their reasoning and convince them to cease.>>2117220I dunno, degeneracy is a pretty strong force.
>>2117219> "That'd make things much more difficult. In such a situation, I'd be greatly compelled to resolve things diplomatically, resorting to violence only when all alternatives had been exhausted. Why do you ask?"
>>2117219>If a friend of mine were able to do that, then it wasn't my friend after all.
>>2117236Careful there anon.
>>2117236Nigger, don't be a moron
>>2117224This is a good suggestion...Swapping my vote to support it...
Right on, I think smelled what ya'll was cookin', writing.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvlB5L-EeMg
>>2117249Please don't tell me Iwagakure is in on this too!
>>2117240I'm pretty sure that in a world of ninja false friends must be everywhere. It's a harsh truth but one that everyone must be aware of.
>>2117219If my friend tryed to attack the village then i would try my even harder to stop him. I don't want my.family to hurt my friend or my friend to hurt my family, so i will find a way to stop everything without figthing, then if it failed i would beat him until he sees reason.
>>2117253Considering Agon's here due to the raikage sending him to give a finger to the Leaf. I wouldn't be surprised if they're in on it>>2117256How's it going Madara? Did you rike it when I turned you into a woman?
>>2117253You forget thay after the crush of Konoha the akatsuki comes to visit the village trying to grab naruto.
You frown a bit, trying to comprehend exactly what Gaara is asking you right now. "Well, I'm not sure I understand the question, everyone who's my friend is a part of the Village, and therefore family, so they have no reason to attack....unless?" You stare at Gaara a little more carefully, watching as he averts his gaze. "Gaara, what's going on?""...my father plans to help Orochimaru attack Konoha during the final part of the tournament." He says, his words hitting you like a ton of bricks....no wait you can actually handle a ton of bricks easily, this is more like if your brother said he didn't love you. Yeah. Ouch. "And my siblings and I are to help him." He finishes.You're silent for a moment, just blinking at Gaara in confusion after what he's just told you. It doesn't make sense, why would the Sand want to do this? Why would they help Orochimaru of all people? Didn't the Kazekage see that he almost hurt his son? "Gaara why? Why is your father doing this?""Because the Sand envies the Leaf," He says, sounding angry now. "We're in the middle of the desert, there aren't a lot of resources, and money isn't coming in fast enough. Orochimaru might've whispered into my father's ear that the destruction of Konoha meant the saving of the Sand." Sand particles around Gaara begin to fill the air, and his expression keeps getting angrier. "He says I have to, that after everything else I've done, it's the only way to make it up to the Village. I have to be the monster I am!" Gaara slams his fist into the side of a tree, cracking it easily. You notice that the sand has reshaped his arm to be more beast like. "But you're part of the Village too! I can't help my father without hurting you, but he won't listen to me!" he slams his fist into the tree again, cracking it even further as parts of his face begin to morph. "IT'S! NOT! FAIR!">What do?
>>2117281the reward for orochimarus capture is likely millions of ryo.and your father wouldnt want to start a war if the leaf was forewarned.lets go talk to him!
>>2117286>Orochimaru>Only worht millionsTry a billion.
>>2117281>But you are not a monster.You are just Gaara and you are my friend.If your dad ia forcing you to do this then he no...Orochimaru is the real enemy
>>2117281>not simply selling orochimaru for a metric fuckload of dat bounty money.
>>2117291>>2117286This is a viable option by the way, that you CAN mention.
>>2117288>>2117288wasnt entirely sure, i mean he has completed around 108 S rank missions and the base pay for even one is a million so with that and the 400+ A rank mission i figured he was worth around 500 million.more since he is currently causing a crisis. but billions is better
>>2117281> "... I will speak to the Kazekage, maybe I can bring him to his senses. He will be less paranoid about an assassination attempt if I go alone, because he can neutralize me instantly if I were to try anything."> "Thank you for telling me about this Gaara. I'm immensely lucky to be your friend."
>>2117297To put it into perspective, Asuma's bounty was like 32 million, and he wasn't a well known motherfucker that was a missing nin and known for being a trouble maker, plus being a Sanin carries a lot of weight.
>>2117281>>2117286Before we actually go and do this, let's send someone to tell the Third.
>>2117291Orochimaru can be pretty convicing if he wants to. Also considering Suna is still tryong to recover from the war against Stone i can't exactly blame Raza. But i still won't forgive him.
>>2117302also, we should hug garaa
To add to everything, helping Konoha against Pedosnek would cement a lasting friendship with the Sand, meaning first dibs on trade, travel, and so on.
>>2117310>Hug Gaara>thank you my friend
Rolled 7 (1d100)There is also another proposition>Kill Rasaand make Gaara the new Kazekagebtw this is the most stupid option so please ignore me>rolling the chances we kill the kazekage
Rolled 48, 30, 16, 53, 88 = 235 (5d100)Alright, so it sounds like you guys wanna' point out all the added benefits of NOT helping Orochimaru and in fact turning him in for the bounty. As well as all that feeling and shit you have for Gaara.I'm glad you fuckers thought this out because it helped with the DC quite a bit and->>2117310>>2117315Hmmmm.HMMMMMMMMMMMM.Okay then.1d100+5DC65You deserve this.Also rolling for someone else
>>2117281Give Gaara a hug, we should try and get Temari and Kankuro to drop out and help us out. Tell the Hokage about this
Rolled 87 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>2117319Rolling...
Rolled 69 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>2117319/y/ reporting in nice quest guys
Rolled 31 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>2117319Time for a crit success and securing the max social link with Gaara
>>2117303Can't. That could put Gaara in trouble but we can tell our friends we are going to see the kazekage.Also i just realized something. Shouldn't Gaara only be allowed to see us and us him if the kazekage was around? You guys think that if Orochimaru has already replaced him we might use this to perceive thta the Kazekage isn't the real Kazekage?
Rolled 98 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>2117319
Rolled 32 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>2117319
>>2117322>>2117323>>2117324>>2117327Pffft, should've just made the DC 100, you would've rolled a nat 101.Need one more roll and we done.
>>2117323>/y/>rolls a 69mother fucker!
Holy shit a 69 AND a roll over 100.
>>2117325>Can't. That could put Gaara in troubleHiruzen is like, the most benevolent of benevolent people. He'd totally want to help Gaara if someone told him what the Kazekage was trying to make him do. And have you forgotten how our last solo meeting with him went? Hiki stands literally no chance against him. Going alone without any backup is a death sentence.
>>2117323dice gods are just fucking with us now
>>2117327Thanks for securing a 100+ anon...I appreciate you...
This is good. Ya'll have just changed how this entire fucking thing is going down by being the only fucker who's a genuine friend to Gaara right now.Say "Fuck Naruto" if you believe in miracles.Writing.
>>2117323Shine on /y/ you mad son of a bitch>>2117336I PRESENT THE NEW NINJA CHRIST, OUR LORD AND SAVIOR HIKIGAYA TETSU
>>2117333I'm more worried what the people in Hiruzen council, read Danzo, could do if he knew about this bullshit.
>>2117336 "Fuck Naruto" right in the ear!
You don't really think about what you do next, you just act upon it like it's the most natural thing in the world. As Gaara's angrily lashing out at that tree, you step forward and wrap your arms around him, giving your buddy the best hug you can. "S-stop!" He shouts, struggling against you. You can feel the sand start to prick at your skin, and even though Gaara tries to pull from your embrace you keep him held tightly.I mean fuck you got a 5 in Strength for this very reason"I'm not letting go till you calm down Gaara." You say, keeping hold of him even as his feet dig deep into the dirt. "This is happening, you're my friend and you're sad, so I'm hugging you.""Idiot! Don't you know what I'm capable of! I could rip you to shreds! Murder you!" He snarls, tears coming out of his one normal eye."No, you can't. I'm too strong. And I don't care, I'm your friend, and I'm hugging you."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CilZSMpxboQYou feel him suddenly slack in your embrace, the sand that was morphing his body returning to the gourd as he slowly hugs you back. "What am I gonna' do Hiki?" He sobs. "What am I gonna' do?"You pat him on the back, releasing him for the moment as you rub your eyes. "We need to talk to your father." You say, earning a surprised look from Hiki. "If he's worried about money then there's a simple solution. Capture Orochimaru." Gaara just stares at you. "Last I checked, he had a bounty worth 1.5 Billion Ryo. A substantial reward if there ever was. Not to mention, if your father admits to what is being planned right now to the Third, that will bring about good relations with the Leaf, and that brings trade and commerce.""I don't know HIki." Gaara says, looking worried. "My father's dead set on this as is, and..." He looks away. "He doesn't exactly have the best opinion of you.""I shall change that today." You say, giving a thumbs up.Gaara looks at you, then nods his head. "Alright, I trust you. Are we going now or...?"Oh right, you do have teammates waiting for you. You wonder if they heard any of that shouting?>What do?
yes now i need a drawfag who canAHEMwrite some hiki and gaara doing something something*wink wink nudge nudge*
>>2117376Well, let's go explain the situation to them. We can take our time getting to the Kazekage so Ko can run and only tell the Third what's going on and what we're going to do. Everyone else can go eat at Suzu's bakery or something.Wait, do Sasu or Kori have trouble keeping secrets? Because it would be bad if Suzu found out what's happening.
>>2117376Let's tell the team we're going, got something important to do. If Sasu decides to be a cheeky cunt I approve of Hiki smacking him or Gaara having sand get into his mouth and eyes
>>2117376> "Ko sensai. Sasu. Kori. ... Anko. I'm sorry to cut our training session short, but there is a matter that demands my immediate attention. Once again, thank you for all of your help over the past couple weeks."
>>2117392I'm sure Sasu's a no good snitch, because he's an asshole
>>2117376>>2117392this does seem like a sound plan. We can go to the kazekage, while Ko lets the hokage know what's up.
>>2117376>Explain to the others you need to go with Gaara to beat a snake
>>2117392> Wait, do Sasu or Kori have trouble keeping secrets? Because it would be bad if Suzu found out what's happening.Kori might get worried and tattle on Hiki for (what she believes is) his own good. Sasu might get distracted by Suzu's body and accidentally blurt it out...
>>2117412Pffft, no way fag>>2117423>Implying Sasu isn't a dirty no good snitchEllipsesnon keep on keeping on being a disappointment to all
>>2117393>>2117395>>2117411>>2117392>>2117411>>2117397I think we're tied up.Gonna' take twenty while ya'll decide.
>>2117434You linked the same post under both groups. Also I don't think Chaos is agreeing with my write in. So I guess it's still tied.
>>2117434Let's tell ONLY Ko about this along with our plan, have him go tell the Third about it while Hiki and Gaara try and make Rasa stop being a dipshit. How's this for a plan?
>>2117434>>2117454I'll support this then. Ko might want to tell Anko too though, she's a jonin too.
>>2117454Alright cool, this breaks the tie.Just uh, one things.Where's Ko?
>>2117466You're a dick.
>>2117466THAT GODDAMN EYENIGGER
Inb4 Ko is making out with Anko in his tent.Ko will cuck every Tetsu he can.
>>2117485You fucker, dont give him ideas.
>>2114361I played a mad scientist in a DBZ game once. I spent most of the game creating my ‘family’ of Biological-Android ‘Bioroid’ children/fighters. I created my ultimate child, Bioroid UFV-001, AKA Viz, as the ‘Ultimate Fighter’ to defend humanity around the time Cell showed up. The level of cattiness and sass shot back and forth between the ‘Ultimate Fighter’ and the ‘Perfect Being’ was absolutely glorious. They spent the majority of heir interactions once they both achieved their final states alternatively felating each other’s egos and being absolute, unfettered bitches to each other.
"Just let me tell my team that you and I are heading out, I don't want to worry them at all." You tell Gaara as you head back to the clearing. You see Kori, Sasu, and Anko all sitting around a fire, Anko drinking another beer as she roasts some weenies over the open flame. Like, twelve of them on one stick, geez.You don't see Ko Sensei anywhere though, which is strange. "Sasu, Kori, do you know where Ko Sensei is, me and Gaara are gonna' head out for a bit and I wanted to let you all know."Kori munches on a hot dog, nodding her head. "Yeah, a short bit after you and Gaara went to go talk Ko Sensei said he had to go talk to the Third about something. These are really good hot dogs miss Anko, what are they made out of?""Beef." She says, licking her lips as she eats another. Kori blinks, then begins to cry a bit. "Hey Hiki," Anko says, finishing off another dog, and giving you a sideways glance. "If you were planning on doing anything, like say something that required some quick talking to someone, I'd hurry up and do it. Just saying."Oh. Oh no. Ko heard Gaara, he knows about the planned attack, and he's gone to warn the Third. "Fuck." You say, rushing back over to Gaara quickly as possible. "We need to hurry and meet up with your father, now!""What's wrong?" Gaara asks, already getting a sand cloud ready."My Sensei heard you when you were shouting, he's gone off to tell the Third everything." You can see Gaara start to freak out again, so you place a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, if we can convince your father not to do it before the Third makes a decision then everything should be alright.""...fine. Just get on, it'll be faster if we ride there." He says, making the sand cloud even bigger for the two of you ti sit on. You hop on, and soon you're both in the air, heading to wards Gaara's father.1d100DC 80Beat the Clock!
>>2117485Hey anon? Kill yourself, right now
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>2117499OH SHIT GOTTA HURRY
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>2117499
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>2117499
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>2117499Rolling...
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>2117499GOTTA GO FAST
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>2117499GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, KO
YOU PASSED!Let's hope this is something you keep doing. Writing.
>>2117499Oh, forgot.>"Fuck." You sayWhen's Anko going to tell Suzu we said that?
>>2117513....roll another 1d100. DC 99.
>>2117507Whew, fine work anon>Ko Hyuga: What's redeemable about it again?
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>2117514I HAVE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>2117514ah wow
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>2117514Rolling...
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>2117514GODDAMN IT MOTHERFUCKER ANON. YOU SHOULD'VE KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>2117514Time to waste a high roll on something unimportant. Believe it!
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>2117514WHY DID YOU DO THIS, ANON?
"Does this thing go any faster?" You ask, noticing that you're barely going faster than a bird up here. And not a cool bird either, like the hawk. Man, hawk's are awesome. No! No concentrate Hiki, important things are happening."Hang on." Is all Gaara says before you're both suddenly blasting forward through the sky, going much, much faster than before. Not only that, but you start to notice that the back end of the cloud is starting to fall apart. "Uh, is that normal?" You ask."The cloud won't be able to hold itself together at this speed, but we should reach my father before it falls apart." Gaara says. Well, that's reassuring.Still, within about twenty seconds you're now above the apartment where Gaara and his family are staying, good. Hmm, you suppose you could wait for Gaara to land the cloud...but you've got a faster idea. "Hold onto me." You tell him, scooping Gaara up in your arms before stepping off the cloud. You watch as Gaara's eyes widen a bit before he creates a sand dome around the two of you.And then you crash right through the roof of the apartment. "HOLY SHIT!" You hear Temari shout. You turn to look at her, once again only wearing a long t-shirt and her underwear."Hello Temari." You say, waving. She blushes and runs off, right past her father who looks around before spotting you two, and the hole in the ceiling. "Hello mister Rasa, I've come to have words with you.""WHAT, ARE YOU!?" He asks, raking his fingers through his hair.>Hmmm>Well, drop the beats man.
>>2117538>"I've come to bargain."
>>2117517Why did you had to open your big mouth anon!
>>2117538>Gaara's told me your plan, and I think it's putting the cart before the horse. Orochimaru's bounty money would be worth a lot more than trying to fill the gap left by destroying Konoha, which other villages would have a much easier time doing. Plus, not only preventing a unexpected attack on the village but also helping to kill its most dangerous missing-nin would put you in very good faith with Konoha and the Land of Fire, meaning better trade for your nation and village.And if he listens.>Oh yeah by the way, my teacher overheard and and told the Third, so we need to go and talk to him right now.
>>2117538>"WHAT, ARE YOU!?" Uh...i'm Hiki Tetsu?
>>2117538>"I'm sorry to have dropped in so suddenly sir, as consolation I will get straight to the point."> "I realize that, despite your prickly exterior, your intentions are noble and true. You care for your people as dearly as a stern father cares for his children and wish only prosperity and success for them. However there are much, much better ways to ensure a secure future for them than to make dealings with Orochimaru. Simply turning him in, would earn you the overwhelmingly massive bounty that has been set on his head, would earn you respect and prestige across all nations, and would warm and strengthen bonds between the sand and the leaf. I implore you sir, do not attack Konoha."
>>2117572>>"I'm sorry to have dropped in so suddenly sir,
>>2117555Right then, this wins.Now.Is there ANYTHING else you want to add to this before I decide the final DC?
>>2117581"Would you like some bear meat?"
>>2117575>>2117570>>2117555>>2117538Well i mean Raza does have the jew eyes. You get it? Because he's from the sand, and because his sand is basicaly gold dust? Okay i will just shut up and support.
>>2117581The only thing I can think of is trying to punch him in the feelings by drawing associations between concern for the citizens of the Sand and his paternal instincts......> "Would you like some bear meat?"Oh, and this too...
>>2117581This line.>"I'm sorry to have dropped in so suddenly sir, as consolation I will get straight to the point."I wish I was that creative.Did Sinchu tell Hiki and Taka about his sewer adventure? If he did, we can link that to Taka's experience with Dosu and point out how quick Orochimaru is to betray and throw away his allies.
>>2117581>>2117572this has good things to say
Right then, throwing in the bear meat as well.How much though? You've got this much to offer.
>>2117592> I wish I was that creative.You flatter me friend, puns are among the basest form of wit...
Rolled 12567 + 5000 (1d25000 + 5000)>>2117597Fuck, sorry. Here.
>>2117600Offer him the 3000 of the best cuts?
>>2117600Well, we can just say we have 18,000 pounds or whatever of bear meat, and ask how much he would want.
>>2117597A literal ton
>>2117600Add in pelts for rugs
>>2117600>>2117608Oh yeah, I bet the Sand would need animal pelts a lot, being in a desert and all.
>>2117613It gets cold as shit in the desert at night man. Like, fucking freezing.
>>2117613can't tell if you're being sarcastic but deserts get absolutly freezing at night though
>>2117613No seriously, the Sahara gets like, 130 or whatever during the day.At night?It's fucking 50 degreees.
>>2117616>>2117618I am being serious. I completely forgot about them before it was brought up.
>>2117624It's okay, sorry about that, it's just I had to spend a week out in the desert once and fuck that shit. FUCK IT.
>>2117625I should've worded it better. I said "being in a desert and all" because there aren't many large animals in the desert with fur. I mean, there are mice, and I think that's about it.
>>2117628>large animalsMeant to just say animals. I'm on a roll with shitty proofreading.
Alright then, with the added bear meat, this is going to be the DC.1d100+2 for bear meat.DC....82Good luck.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>2117633Bear Meat clutch!
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>2117633Rolling...
Rolled 83 + 2 (1d100 + 2)>>2117633Oh sweet merciful dice gods, I'll sacrifice my firstborn son to you if you give us an 80 and no 1s.
>>2117635>>2117636Neither of these count because they don't have a +2.....Yeah I'm being generous here.
Rolled 23 + 2 (1d100 + 2)>>2117633GIVE ME POWER BEAR MEAT
Rolled 61 + 2 (1d100 + 2)>>2117633Come on Hiki, show us that you are Taka's brother!
>>2117637What have you done anon.
Rolled 84 + 2 (1d100 + 2)>>2117633>>2117640Jerk.
>>2117635>>2117636>>2117637>>2117643>>2117644GET FUCKED DICE GODS I'M NEVER GOING TO BAG A WOMAN IN MY LIFE
>>2117640No need to!>>2117637You are redeemed anon.
Rolled 81 + 2 (1d100 + 2)>>2117633Rerolling...
>>2117625I live in Phoenix. Can confirm, even in summer the desert nights are cold as shit.
Good job anons, you saved the day.Also just a little bit of info, the whole bear attack thing was kind of based on this.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sankebetsu_brown_bear_incidentAnyways writing.
>>2117667Huh, and here I thought it was just a random goof
>>2117667Please tell me someone made this into a movie. It reads like a movie summary. It has hope, horror, dashed hopes and a redemption arc for the main character. Literally all you'd have to do to make the script is write dialogue, you wouldn't have to worry about plot and events beyond getting it all in order.
"First, I'm sorry to have dropped in so suddenly-""Oh come on!" Rasa says, waving his arms in the air.-second, Gaara has told me everything about your plan to attack Konoha alongside Orochimaru." Immediately you can feel the familiar tug as Rasa lifts you up into the air, scowling at you. However Gaara steps between the two of you, frowning at his father. "You need to listen to me!" You shout, trying not to show too much pain.""And why is that?" Rasa asks, keeping his eyes on his son while he continues to keep a hold on you. "Do you have some bleeding heart story about how it's the duty of the Villages to remain united or something?""No, it's just that it'd be a better payout if you captured Orochimaru instead and turned him in for the bounty." You feel the grip on your loosen a bit, with Rasa giving you a confused look. "Orochimaru holds a bounty of 1.5 Billion Ryo, that's a lot of money that your Village could use.""If we managed to capture him, which isn't possible. The man's as slippery as a..." He frowns, obviously not wanting to finish that sentence."A sna-?""YES A SNAKE!""Well, even if you fail to capture him, imagine how thankful Konoha would be if you helped in stopping Orochimaru from destroying the Village?" You can see Rasa thinking over things now. "More trade, better relations, and not only that, but how many of the other Villages do you think would swoop in to try to take over Konoha's remains if you did go through with this?" You've got him on the line now. "And I'd be willing to part with a substantial amount of bear meat and furs as well.""How much?" Rasa says, licking his lips slightly."18,000 pounds." You say, and you immediately feel your body drop to the floor. Yes, delicious bear meat saves the day. You stand up, Rasa standing right above you and glaring. "I'm not doing this just because of what you said, I'm also doing this because my son, for whatever reason, seems to have become...better ever since he's been around you.""Gaara was always a good person." You say, frowning a bit. Gaara looks between you and his father before, ever so slightly, smiling. "Now, we need to go see the Third, my Sensei overheard your son earlier and has no doubt gone to tell him about the plan."You hear a knock on the door. "Hello, Rasa, I was wondering if we could have a talk." It's the Third, oh shit.>What do?
>>2117690Welp, we gotta stay here and help smooth this out. We promised the bear meat after all.Go let the Third in and see if there's any tea to make and serve the Kages while they talk.
>>2117690>Don't worry, sensei, I've convinced him to abandon the plan and we're already at the stage of planning to betray Orochimaru. I'm sure you could provide much more insight than I could, if you wanted to help.
>>2117690>Third its just a prank i mean look at the camera over there see its a social experiment.
>>2117667> Stealing corn and killing a babies by crushing their heads in it's jawsThis Japanese reboot of Yogi bear is pretty grim......>>2117690> "Hello Sir. How are you?"> "Would you like some bear meat?"
>>2117690Wait. This might not be the Third. Make him prove he's the third without the shadow of a doubt.
>>2117690>>2117714Switching to this.
Right on, so asking the Third to prove it's him.....That ain't gonna' require a roll. Writing.RIP 2&6
>>2117714THIS.Then make tea.
>>2117719Bastard, spoiling it like that. Both of them, huh... that’s disappointing.
>>2117729Can you explain for the rest of us?
"Apologies if this is you sir, but how do we know for sure that you're the Hokage?" You ask. Rasa looks at you for a moment before nodding his head.There's silence on the other side before you hear a sigh. "Hiki, do you remember how I stopped your sisters rampage during the Lantern Festival all those years ago?" You gulp. "Y-yes?""Do you wish for me to do the same to you?"No, anything but that! You rush forward, opening the door and seeing a smiling Third standing there....and Ko Sensei standing right behind him. "Now then, I think tea would be a good thing to have while we discuss everything."You nod, letting the Third go by before stopping your Sensei and frowning at him. "You didn't trust me." Ko frowns a bit before sighing. "Hiki, that's not it at all. The reason I ran off wasn't just to get to the Third," He reaches back into the hallway and...pulls up a tied up boy? About your age? "It was to stop him.""Huh?"===>You're KoHmmm, Hiki and that Gaara kid are hiding something...you have to trust your student. If he's fine being alone with that Sand kid, then you should be too...besides you think they're secretly gay for each other. Not that you'd have any problems with that, it just seems weird that Hiki would go for...redheads. Not to mention you've seen how he looks at Anko.You hear shouting, and you widen your eyes as you pick up what Gaara's saying, not only that though, you pick up what Hiki says back. You take a deep breath, fighting the urge to just bolt out of there and go to the Hokage. No, you're trusting your student dammit! You hear some rustling in the trees, and looking up you spot a young boy in an ANBU mask running off. No wait, that wasn't ANBU, that was- "Root." You curse, turning back to Kori and Sasu. "Uh, I've got to talk to the Third real quick, tell Hiki not to worry okay?" "Huh? Yeah whatever." Dammit Sasu, one of these days...You rush off after the ROOT, picking up speed until your're upon him. He pulls out a scroll, but instead of summoning something he begins drawing on it. Well, you're not letting him do whatever it is he's trying to do. You shunshin forward, and jab him right in the forehead, knocking him out. You catch him before he falls, before tying him up. "Dammit, the Third's gonna' find out one way or another, gotta' get to him." With that, you rush off, watching as Hiki and Gaara float over the tree tops.===>You're Hiki again"...and that's what happened Hiki." He tells you, the young boy starting to regain consciousness now. "I didn't catch this one's name, didn't have time to find out.""My name is Sai." The boy says, smiling up at you, except it feels...wrong. "I wasn't planning on getting captured today.">What do?
>>2117762>SaiYessssIntroduce yourself and engage autist whisperer mode
>>2117762>I didn't plan to talk the Kazekage out of his plan either. It's nice to meet you, even if you don't smile right.
>>2117762OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BOY. I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM SO EARLYIntroduce ourselves and begin autist whisperer
>>2117762>proper introductions because hiki is a polite boi>why are you forcing yourself to smile like that?Because hiki is a blunt boiAutist whisper is a go
>>2117778Swapping support to this...
>>2117762>>2117778this is also good
>>2117762"I had to learn the hard way to only smile when your happy. People can somehow tell it's fake and it creeps them out. See, look."Then smile at him.
>>2117778This wins.>>2117785And this because it's fucking funny.1d100Dc 89Let's see if we can crack the shell a little early.
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>2117788Rolling...
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>2117788We are become Narsuke, the Ultimate Autist.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>2117788
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>2117788>>2117790well, well, well
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>2117788
>>2117790Why even bother with rolls anymore.
>>2117801Because this shit is hilarious and you know you love it.
Right, give me a bit longer to write this up, pupper needs a walk, then that'll do it for tonight.Good job guys, you earned this.
>>2117790Fucking Tetsus man!
Well, introductions are in order. "Hello Sai, I'm Hikigaya, but people mostly call me Hiki." No reason not to be polite here."I know, I already know a lot about you." Sai says, smiling that fake smile of his again. Hmm, so you are famous then, this makes you feel good.Still, you feel the need to help Sai here. "Why do you fake smile like that?" Don't you realize people are able to tell when you're not being honest?"He shrugs, and Ko just sort of stays quiet during this conversation, apparently realizing it's too weird to interrupt. "I've noticed, but I haven't been able to find a way to make it seem sincere."You nod. "You need to smile only when you're happy, otherwise it comes out looking creepy, like this." You smile at him then, the room itself starting to turn purple for a moment before you ease off. "That was creepy right?""What...what was that?" Ko asks, looking around."Hmm, I see what you mean, thank you for the advice HIki." Sai says, nodding his head."Then it's agreed," You hear the Third say. "The Sand will continue as if nothing has changed, and on the day of the last part of the tournament, we shall spring a trap to capture Orochimaru.""And in return," Rasa says, sipping some tea. "The Sand will receive commendations from Konoha, as well as direct trade routes with them." Hiruzen nods, and the two of them shake hands. Rasa turns his attention to you, looking you over once more. "Hmmph, well boy, looks like you managed to avert a war."The Third is much more joyful though, patting you on the head like the good boy you are. "Well done Hiki, your parents would be proud."You smile for real then.>END>That's all for tonight>Any questions?>What'd ya'll think?>Fisnets and Ramen upon you all.
>>2117854And here's the picture that was supposed to go with that post.
>>2117854Thanks for the run. Since we have another week until the tournament, can we ask another teacher to tutor us?In other words, can we spend more time with fishnets. I mean Anko.
>>2117857Damn Hiki you scary. Well done, Moon. I had fun.
>>2117688https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7Ual0gp0ScYes, they did apparently.And it stared Sonny Fucking Chiba.
>>2117868Found out what I'm fapping to tonight.
>>2117854Thanks for the Session Moon......Questions:> Are Sasu and Kori still standing around in the Forest of death with Anko? What are they doing/thinking?> What is Gaara thinking? I'd assume he must be quite relived?> How's Temari handling Hiki's tendency to randomly show up when she's least prepared for company?> When should we expect the next session?
>>2117876>Yes. Just enjoying the little sips of beer that Anko lets them have....she's milking them for info about Hiki.>"Who's that pale fuck that's talking to Hiki? Fuck him I'm his best friend.">She's not gonna' lazily lay about on the couch anymore.>Gonna' be busy all next week, not sure yet. I'll keep you posted.
>>2117883Poor Temari, gotta wear nice stuff at all times in case Hiki plows through a wall.Also... why is Anko asking about Hiki?
>>2117897>Also... why is Anko asking about Hiki?Obviously to figure out how best to get him to call her cute a lot.
>>2117854Fine run Moon>What does Sai think of Hiki as of now?>What's Rasa's opinion of Hiki now?>So when Orochimaru finds out about this how badly will he chimp out?
>>2117883What does Hiki thinks, to make him smile creepily like that?
>>2117906Well anon..when a girl or a person is interested in a boy, she or him start by asking people around said person about him.
>>2117939They do? I don't talk to people in normie space.
>>2117944That's what they say never had a girl or boy asking my friends about me so i don't know exactly how truthfull those words are.
>>2117923>I like his hair.>This gay little kid fixed my son....hmmm.>Oh yeah like, King Kong levels.>>2117897She wants to know if Suzu gives him free treats or not.
Found the perfect theme for Hiki and Garra teaming up to fight Oreo and his goons.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-RVW1aC6_U
>>2117989Master plan planned for months/years to destroy the leaf village and kill the hokage with the power of a major ninja village, a minor village of experimental henchmen, and an elite ninja circle is completely destroyed by a 12 year old in a matter of minutesUnderstandable to mad about, this is gonna end with either Orochimaru viewing hiki as his worst enemy or just giving up and putting hiki on the "do not fuck with" list like he did itachi.
>>2118188"Oh shit the autistic kid ruined my plan" is 90% of Naruto
>>2118227That..... actually a good point...damn, 12 year olds suck
>>2118188Well people are already saying we are the second comming of Itachi.
I cant wait for the chuunin tourney Gonna be sweeeeeeeet boiSpeaking of, when is NotDisabled bro going to get into the academy/get put into a squad, maybe he'll actually get to compete
Hey so we'll be playing tomorrow at like, 7. Central.
Hey I need your input real quickhttp://www.strawpoll.me/14543025
>>2120440>First vote was for SakuraHmmmm.
>>2120440>tfw no polygamy vote. Hye it's less degenerate than incest
>>2120440>No "Accidentally father an entire village of children" option>No Tesshin>No all of the aboveFor shame.
>>2120456Yeah but, Madara option.
>>2120442Pursue Pink Puss, baby.
>>2120440>No Tsunade or Shizune option.One job moon!
>Sakura is winning>Anko and Temari a tied>Karin has only one voteWhy everyone wants to cuck Shikamaru.
>>2120475Sakura's Tsunade Strength + Hiki's Autism Strength, that is all, we breed em' strong in Tetsu, especially for Hiki's offspring, if our kid can't shatter a Tree By 3 we've failed
>>2120556>Sakura's Tsunade StrengthI don't think that'd be genetic.
>>2120556>Hiki and Sakura's child is born>Hiki throws him/her off a cliff>They only create a small crater upon landing.>"Well, we can always try again." Hiki says, picking up his unharmed child and going off to plow his wife again.
>>2120475I'd have said it seems more like anons want to cuck sasuke, but it's not like he's around enough to be a cuck anyway.
>>2120556Plus, I just plain like Sakura.
>>2120570>Tetsu>having only one childBesides thanks to Hiki the chance of twins being born are pretty high
>>2120571Nah Sarada is bound to be Sasuke and Karin child. As it should be.I still think that if Hiki fails Tesshi test the best hope for the clan is to add that Uzumaki strength and stamina to the family genetic.
>>2120465> Nobody has voted for FemMadara yetI'm impressed /qst/...
>>2120607It's fine, she's going to be the dark horse harem member.
>>2120607It's not like I still don't want the weird sexual tension to happen during madara v hiki fight. I just don't see a long term thing haplening with an actual zombie.
>>2120607i did, screw all of you for not picking best girl.
Why would folks pick Sakura? I'm genuinely confused.
>>2120814I'm not sure how that confuses you, who did you pick?
>>2120814>not picking Temari, then having Sakura raise the child with HikiIt's like you don't even eugenics. It means that not only do we cuck Sasuke out of his "wife", we cuck Boruto out of a friend in the future.The result of this is a double cuck and Tetsu genes united with possible Magnet Release, with Sarada's Chakra Control.
Aight cool, looks like Sakura wins.I'm sorry.
>>2121046Does this actually matter at all?Be honest. I voted for Temari but all are fine choices (especially Hello Fellow Kids snek)
>>2121046Our daughter would have a perfect Yamato Nadeshiko personality but appears sickly and demure unlike her physically active parents. When pressed she exhibits inner Sakura's personality and Hiki's freakish strength. >She got kidnapped along with her friend(the nobleman's descendant) >She lifts and throws an 18-wheeler truck at the kidnappers.>They surrender.
>>2121265Like that hulk transformation in Desert Punk?
>>2121046I’m actually really happy. This will undoubtably be ruined for me. Pursue Pink Puss.
>>2121046kek, though in all seriousness it's not like this will matter before shippuden. Hiki likes older girls clearly.
>>2121265>Hiki and Sakura's kid best friend is the nobleman descendentI though that the nobleman descendent would be best friend with Sinchu's kid.>implying Sinchu will ever get laid
>>2121046What? Are you serious?
>>2121356Until then it's only Shizune and Anko to Hiki. And maybe Tsunade but i don't know if Hiki is into GMILF.
>>2121365He's. Sakura winned by one vote. Temari in second and Anko in third.Snake cake never had a chance.
For those who enjoy eugenics, I should tell what results from Hiki+TemariTETSU WITH MAGNET RELEASE
>>2121368No, he's saying it like the straw poll matters. It's been samefagged to hell.
For those who enjoy eugenics, I should tell what results from Hiki+Karin. Female Tetsu with stupid strenght AND Tetsu's with increased stamina, and so able to resist the iron poisoning.
>>2121369MAGNETIC FORCE JACK! NATURE'S FORCENow I want this so badly
>>2121379>wanting to have another missing-nin in the family.
>>2121382>Implying Hiki's kid won't be as pure as he isFor shame anon, for shame
>>2121385>Implying Hiki's kid will be as pure as he is
But let's talk about more pleasant thinks.Guys we should bring our team. Maybe less Ko, to the Tetsu compound maybe if they see how insane strong the other Tetsu are they will feel less sad.Also gives then the chance to know more about us. If Moon wants it we can have this week being the one were Susumu gets the whole clan for the hidden Tetsu cemitery.Won't that be a happy day?
What's good in the hood.Session in 3 hours.
>>2121724but 8 central shhould be 7 eastern, and it's 6:36 here in Mass
>>2121747Yeah, things came up, so won't be able to QM till three hours from now.
Ahhhh fuck it, I feel like playing right now.>Okay, so it's been a while since were last with Susumu>He got baked during the bear attack and wasn't sure what the hell was going on.>None of the bears that entered the compound attacked anyone, they just mysteriously started rolling around a bit and pawing at the air.>Oh by the way Susumu has four bears as pets now.>Name them what you will.>Anyways, it's been one week since the bear attack, you don't know anything about what Hiki just did with the Third and Rasa.>Whatcha' wanna' do?
>>2122028Let's go see Tsume and ask if her knowledge of dogs would help us with training bears.
>>2122045Er, I guess instead of asking, going to find out if she can help makes more sense.
>>2122045We could even give a trained bear to the noble! Also support. How many bear pelts does the Noble want, Hiki brought back a lot.
>>2122045sounds like a plan>>2122059>We could even give a trained bear to the noblenah, I say we train them up and give em to a Tetsu kid each.
>>2122028Oh, I had an idea. What if we name two of the bears after Susumu's teammates. Preferably ones who's behavior sort of resembles the teammate they're named after.
>>2122045Well this looks like a win.First, roll me 2d100.1st d100 is for convincing her to help you train.2nd is for that Susumu musk you must be emitting right now because you showed up like pic related.
Rolled 21, 12 = 33 (2d100)>>2122104Rollan probably in the middle
Rolled 26, 21 = 47 (2d100)>>2122104>2nd is for that Susumu musk you must be emitting right now because you showed up like pic related.My sides.
Rolled 22, 77 = 99 (2d100)>>2122104100, 1 please
Rolled 40, 50 = 90 (2d100)>>2122104
Rolled 91, 50 = 141 (2d100)>>2122104take my mediocrity>>2122098this is a nice idea
>>2122109>>2122110This bodes ill.
Rolled 57, 76 = 133 (2d100)>>2122098Sasuke's face when Susumu names a bear after his dead dad.>>2122104Rollie.
Rolled 4, 8, 100, 81, 12 = 205 (5d100)Well of fucking course the clutch roll contains a 91.Forgot the DC's, but the second one was abysmally low anyways.Shit alright. Rolling for Tsume to see how well she can train bears apparently.
Rolled 5, 3 = 8 (2d6)>>2122104we fucking golden compass now?
>>2122128oh sweet jesus
>>2122128Well.Who's ready for some bears?Writing.
>>2122128Well, bears are quite a lot like dogs if you think about it>>2122123No matter how many times I see it, that image kills me
Just spent a couple years making my magnum opus. On a scale of 1 to 10, why is it an 11?
>>2122159You forgot to divide that 11 by 0 anon.
>You are Susumu>You are also riding a bear>Session Themehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ogQ0uge06oYou don't have any clean shirts dammit. It's not really your fault though, you got a new batch of shit that was sublime and out of this world, so you may have forgot to do the laundry....for a couple days. Still, that shit was soooooo smooth. Oh right, and apparently some bears showed up at the Compound while you were high.You look down at the big fat one you're currently riding, then to your sides at the other three walking beside you. They kinda' just been hangin' with you for the last week. Seem pretty chill compared to the other bear fucks that terrorized the Village. Course those ones are dead, apparently a good majority of them thanks to Suzu and Hiki. "Gotta' come up with names for you guys eventually." You say to the bears. One of them turns to look at you, frowning. "Sorry, you guys and gal." The she bear nods and you all continue on your stroll.Wait why are you riding on top of a bear?Wait why wouldn't you ride on top of a bear?You finally make it to the Inuzuka Compound, the two guards outside staring wide eyed at you and your bear posse. "Greetings, I come bearing news for Tsume." Fuckin' hell you're funny. The two guards look at each other, then one of them heads inside, leaving you and the other one alone. Well, except for the bears. The one with the thousand yard stare sort of starts playing around with something on the ground, probably a bug or some shit. "So," The guards says, trying to start up a conversation. "Do you...normally ride on top of bears?">How do you respond to this?>Be as Susumu as possible.
>>2122174>Only on Tuesdays.And when he says it's not Tuesday. >Are YOU riding a bear?
>>2122174>"Nyet."Also>Hiki gave the bears PTSDMy God
>>2122174Real men rides bears
>>2122174Do you usually ask dumb questions?
>>2122174"Tetsu tradition. Iron Bear Festival. Look it up. Oh wait you can't. I'm the clan head and I made it. 1st one."
>>2122174>"Do you...normally ride on top of bears?"I don't normally have the opertunity so I figured why not
>>2122174>>2122186I'll switch to this.
>>2122174"Dude, your clan head rides a giant dog, is this any stranger than that?"
>>2122200Hey now, Susumu shouldn't talk about himself like that.
>>2122186Right, this wins, writing.
"Tetsu tradition, Iron Bear Festival. Look it up, oh wait you can't," You sneer a bit, grinning like an asshole. "I'm the Clan head and I just made that shit up. 1st one." Hell yeah, now maybe instead of being known as that Clan who dies a lot, the Tetsu's will be known for their rad Bear Festivals. Do the Hyuga have Bear Festivals? No they fucking don't. Fuckin' losers.Before the poor guard has a chance to respond the front gate slams open, smacking the boy in the face as Tsume walks out, a lustful grin plastered on her face as she takes in the sight before her. You look down a bit at your potbelly, remembering when you actually had a pretty nice six-pack. You also had hair but whatever. "Susumu," Tsume says, licking her lips. "How nice of you to show up."Uh oh. How fast are bears, you wonder. Fast enough to escape a lust filled MILF with dog like tendencies? Probably not. You hold a hand. "Tsume, as you can see I've brought bears." "Yeah yeah, they look tasty, but we can think about cookin' them after we've had some fun." The bears audibly whine at that, quickly gathering behind you to hide, which doesn't fucking work because their bears goddammit.Hmm, Tsume's gonna' be comin' for that sweet Tetsu ass if you don't stop her, better try that one thing you saw on Animals Planet...or was it TLC?>Roll me 1d100>DC 85
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>2122225TSUME PLS RAPE ME
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>2122225
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>2122225nat 1 pls
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>2122225Initiate the Tetsu Ear Scratch maneuver.
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>2122225
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>2122225
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>2122240We're rolling below 30 a lot. Testing.
>>2122241Was failing good in this case?
>>2122252yep were gonna get raped
>>2122252Nit for Susumu.But for Tsume it is.
Just as Tsume gets close enough to see the whites of your eyes you quickly smack her with two fingers, right on the snooter. "Tsch." You say, wagging your finger at her as she blinks in surprise. Better to establish dominance now unless she-"AHHHH!" She's grabbing you right by the fuckin' nipples! Goddamn! "Ah ah ah! Fuckin' hell!" She twists those babies so hard you actually fall off the bear, who just shambles away, wisely distancing himself from the whole mess. Before your back even has time to adjust to the ground Tsume mounts you, raking her claws down your bear(lol) chest and leaving some fuckin' painful scratches. "Aw you crazy bitch!""Goddamn right I am!" She growls, leaning down to start mackin' on you.Nope."Tekkotsu." Your whole body is iron now, which causes Tsume to frown. "Tsume, as...tiresome as fucking you again out in the open would be, I actually came here for some help.....and your front door guards are right there."The guards give a little wave. "Hey." They both say, watching the whole scene unfold."Eh, they don't care." Tsume says, drumming her fingers across your iron chest. "So what did you want me to fuckin' do anyways? And hurry up, I'm...needy."Oh god."Uh, yeah, so it's about the bears. You're good with dogs, and bears are practically dogs-""They're not." The guards cut in."-and I was hoping you could maybe train the bears a bit for me. Since they won't leave me along." Like someone else, you think.Tsume sits up, grinding her ass on your iron dick as she thinks. "Hmmm, yeah I did something like this back when I was younger, shouldn't be too hard. What'd ya' want them trained for though?""There's choices?" You ask, very thankful for the lack of feeling in your dick right now.She nods. "There's combat, household chores, gardening, anything you can think off. Of course the more shit you want them to learn, the harder it'll be to train them.""So like, say we were in an RPG that used dice, you're saying that the more things I want the bears trained for, the higher the DC for those training sessions would be?""Yes." She says, as both you, her, the guards, and the bears slowly turn to look at the people reading this thread.>What do?
>>2122277Eyy, Guard 1, you looking fineeee. U want sum fuk?Obviously, combat butler bears.
>>2122277would it be possible to teach each bear a different thing? if not then I agree with >>2122284bear butlers
>>2122277"Guarding, guard bears would be nice."
>>2122277Let's train these bears to be combat butlers, allmg with the ability to sing or ride scooters
>>2122277> Teach the bears how to use their keen ursine senses to see through genjutsu, and to alert their master (Susumu) when a genjutsu is present. We'll train them to be greatest watchbears in the land of fire, breed them, and then sell them off for a massive profit.
Hey Moon? Would it be possible to teach a bear to *use* genjutsu?
>>2122277This setting is all about ninjas, make the bears ninjas too so they can fall from the ceiling kill people with coconuts
>>2122277We need to train DROP BEARS!
>>2122294>>2122301Teach them Genjutsu>>2122287>>2122291Combat ButlersTied up
>>2122352I'm still for teaching them genjutsu.
Combat Buttler Bears wins.2d100 everybody.1st for the Combat2nd for the Buttlering.
Rolled 56, 40 = 96 (2d100)>>2122367
Rolled 88, 61 = 149 (2d100)>>2122367
Rolled 69, 1 = 70 (2d100)>>2122352Could we combine both?>>2122367Oh wait nevermind
Rolled 43, 34 = 77 (2d100)>>2122367Rolling...
>>2122373bears make awful butlers, who'd have guessed?
>>2122373>69, 1Tsume gets too horny to teach?
>>2122352teach the bears genjutsu.
Well, scratch the Buttlering, unless someone rolls a 100. You can come back to this later though.
>>2122389Whew, thank ninja Christ one for that
Rolled 8, 63 = 71 (2d100)>>2122367Must save
>>2122389Moon, what does combat entail in this circumstance?Biting and scratching well, and on command?Some kind of strange bear taijutsu?
>>2122413Combat.Wrestling.And Chokeholds and Stunners and shit.
>>2122418Still waiting for that Omake of Hiki guarding Naruto , Karin and Hinata with the triplets.
>>2122418Do you suppose that bears could perform ninjutsu? I'd imagine it'd difficult to make handsize with their stubby little fingers...
>>2122438* I'd imagine it'd be difficult to make handsigns with their stubby little fingers...
"Like, teach'em combat and shit, obviously." You say, imagining a group of bears at your command that could slay your enemies with ursine like efficiency. Or you could prank Hiashi, either's good."Yeah, that's eas-" Tsume says."Like, some karate shit, or maybe some wrestling. Never seen a bear give somebody a suplex before, could be cool." Hmmm, you wonder how much you could charge for a bear wrestling league. "Oh right, and buttlering.""...what?" Tsume asks."Buttlering. Like, I want them to wash my clothes and cook and shit." The bears look over at you, frowning somewhat. Bears can frown?"Yeah, nah." Tsume says, leaning down on you as she runs her finger across your iron chest. "One thing for now, you want more you gotta' earn it.""E-earn it?" You ask, watching as Tsume grins even more wickedly at you. "...oh.">Hey what's Sinchu up to? He's still bandaged up a bit, but he should be back to like, 75% by now.
>>2122444> He's being a responsible teacher and training (Read: Tormenting) his students
>>2122444Taking a massive dumper
>>2122444Naruto and Hinata were concerned he'd do something stupid, so they decided to try and keep him from doing that. He tricked them into the forest and is trying to get Nerscy to terrorize them.
>>2122444Treating the gang to Ramen is a good idea. Be a good sensei and show them he cares. Go full softy mode before going back to kicking their asses
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>2122389
Ramen it is!Do me a favor real quick though.1d5.Taking Third roll.>1. Choji>2. Neji and Guy>3. Ibiki>4. ???>5. Iruka
Rolled 4 (1d5)>>2122468Rolling...
Rolled 4, 3, 1 = 8 (3d5)>>2122468
Rolled 5 (1d5)>>2122468mystery box [person] get
Rolled 3 (1d5)>>2122468Mystery get!
Rolled 2 (1d5)>>2122468Oh shit, it's ya boy Choji.
>>2122468But who was question mark?
>>2122473This wins since >>2122470 doesn't count.Wow. Ibiki huh? Okay writing.
>>2122473Well looks like we get Ibiki, but who was phone?
>>2122477The third roll was a 3 tho.
>>2122477>Ibiki"Dont listen to this chump kids. He's gonna tell some horrible lies about me"
>>2122487>3. IbikiYes, and?
>>2122487Three is Ibiki, four is mystery box>>2122486At the risk of sounding stupid, Shizune?
>You're Sinchu>Hey good job."Alright, so lay it on me, how much did you guys miss your super awesome teacher?" You ask your trio of little shits as you walk down the streets of Konoha. God it feels good to not be stuck in the Compound anymore. At least there aren't any fucking bears trying to bother you out here. "Go on, be honest, I won't judge you if you start to tear up.""Eh." Karin says, earning a side glance from you. "I mean, I prefer training with Hiki, he's just so...strong ya' know?" Oh god she's got a crush on your little cousin. That's disgusting! Hiki's like eight or something, probably doesn't even know what to do with his dick.Oh god what happens if Hiki knows what to do with his dick?!"Well, I missed ya' Sinchu," Naruto says, continuing to be a cool little dude. "Hiki just kept on wanting to lift rocks and punch things all the time, it got old real quick.""You're just saying that because he kept beating you up when you tried to fight him." Karin says, poking her cousin in the side of the head.Hinata just pokes her fingers together, blushing slightly. Also she looks like she's seen some action lately, judging by how rough her hands look. "Uh, I missed you Sinchu. I liked how you, well, taught us interesting things." You ruffle Hinata's hair, earning a small nyah out of her. Okay, so 2 out of 3 ain't bad. You're pretty sure Karin just puts up a tough front. That or she's a bitch. 50/50 really. "Alright well, enough praising me, let's get some fuckin' ramen!" You shout as you enter Ichiraku's stand....And find Ibiki sitting in your goddamn favorite spot, slurping on some of YOUR favorite ramen with all the right spiciness and saltiness. He turns to look at you, slurping on a noodle as he does. "Oh, hey Sinchu, they finally let you walk around on your own now, or are the kids your body guards?">Response.>Remember children are aro->Aw fuck it, you don't care.
>>2122545pick up his ramen and hurl it outside
>>2122545"Don't you have a quiz to fuck up or something?"
>>2122545>Stealing my favorite seat AND my favorite food? That's low Ibiki, really low.>captcha: SCOTSMAN CLOSEOh shit, Sinchu's fucked.
>>2122545>Fish Jizz? My favorite flavor! I can't believe somebody else sees the awesomeness of this ramen!
>>2122545>"You tell me, got a break from taking people's minds and metaphorically bending them over a table?">>2122552Well damn, now I wanted that
>>2122486It was Hotaro wasn't it? Or what ever was that aburame chick name.Oh! i get it! It was the akatsuki.
So why is Sinchu mad at Ibiki?
>>2122545 You could call them guards, yeah. I am less likely to break a smart-ass' skull open with children watching. Now let me have my seat, I gotta be a good example and shit."
>>2122576>So why is Sinchu mad at Ibiki?>Fucker steals your seat and your favorite custom dish>NOT being madI feel sorry for you anon, to have not tasted this type of rage yet.
>>2122580You don't find solidarity in people liking the same things you do? I bet you're one of those people who judge others for referencing something you recognize in public when you could never work up the courage to.
>>2122580Can't they just make more? This is basically a restaurant.
>>2122545Taking better of then then you did for Konohamaru. Tell me does Sarutobi need to worry if the little guy can continue the family lineage?
>>2122559Right then, this wins.1d100+10DC 90 to hurt Ibiki's feelings! He deserves it, he stole your seat and your dish man!
Rolled 71 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>2122598
>>2122586Ichiraku's has a limited supply. You lnow how you make a thing so good and you get like 30+ people fighting to get the last thing? That's how it works.
Rolled 39 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>2122598can he handle the bantz?
Rolled 15 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>2122598
Rolled 45 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>2122598Rolling...
Rolled 56 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>2122598Through something about the third lineage might not exist for him fucking up into keeping his eye s on Konohamaru.
>>2122614My money's on Ibiki bringing up Hotaru in some way.
"Don't you have a quiz to fuck up or something?" You shoot back, causing Ibiki to frown a bit before he rolls his eyes at you, going back to his-YOUR-ramen. Damn, and you wanted to make him cry so badly too. "Alright kids, order yer' shit up before Ibiki here gobbles it all up." You say, taking a seat right beside the interrogator. It's an alright seat, not one that's been molded specifically to your ass after years of late night ramen, but it'll do. "Hey Teuchi, get me the usual, if there's any left.""Comin' right up, Naruto I assume you want the same as last time?" Teuchi asks, earning a quick nod from the kid. "And what can I get for the little ladies?""Uh, um, I'll have what Naruto's having." Hinata says, earning a big grin from the boy. Poor girl, she has no idea what that shit's gonna' do to her stomach.Karin frowns a bit, looking over the menu. "I want something sour, but strong too.""So like yourself." Naruto whispers, earning a smack from his cousin."Got'cha. Ayame, order up!"Ayame? You perk up a bit as Teuchi's daughter comes from the back, starting to help her father with the ramen. Oh god, she's so fucking...pretty. She turns to look at you, smiling, and you smile back. Man, a girl like that though, the scion of the best ramen joint in the Village? She's way out of your league. But that's life, always the good shit is out of reach."Hey," Ibiki pokes you with his chopsticks, causing you to frown. "Got some new information from that Hidan fellow the other day that might interest you.""Is it how to get my seat back?""No." Ibiki pulls out a piece of paper, sliding it over to you. You look it over, noticing that it's a list of longitudes and latitudes. "Those are, supposedly, the location to Akatsuki hideouts." He slurps the last of the ramen, rather loudly you notice. "Haven't been able to send anybody out to verify yet, what with all the crazy stuff happening lately. What do you think? And yes, I know I'm a goddamn interrogator, I'm asking because I want your view on it.">Well?
>>2122653>Try to connect the dots of the coordinates>It's pic related
>>2122636Anon, a man's gotta have some standards>>2122653>"I don't know, he could've just bullshitted and those locations lead to nothing. Still, once everything dies down a bit I'll see if I can check it out."
>>2122653>Have your mind fuck powers confirmed any of them are real? Because it seems a bit too good for me.>>2122661I'll also support this. I mean, it can't hurt if doesn't lead to anything.
>>2122653Okay, time to serious up.We send someone, someone GOOD, mind you, to inspect a place. Can't have our best dudes evacuate the village during this period of foreign visitation. If he finds something that proves Hidan isn't blowing smoke up our asses, great, we can decide what to do at that point, but we take everything that fucker says with a grain of salt. If he really IS immortal he knows all he has to do it wait until we fuck up and escape. With infinite time available to him, someone WILL fuck up, eventually.
Alright, just to make sure, ya'll wanna' go with the Dickbutt option? Just making sure. It's fucking hilarious.
>>2122700I figured it might not be dickbutt. But alright.
Rolled 63, 18, 35, 11, 32 = 159 (5d100)Aight.I'm gonna' roll to see how pissed Ibiki is
>>2122713Huh, his jimmies are only mildly rustled.Writing.
>>2122713Jimmy Status: Slightly Rustled.
Rolled 97 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>2122614im late sorry anonshere is your 90
>>2122716I guess he's used to Sinchu's usual level of bullshit.
>>2122730WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU WHEN WE NEEDED YOU NIGGER?
>2122743>>2122742fapping to anko and temari fishnets>
You look at the coordinates, not really noticing anything special about them at all. You were never that good at picking up the subtleties of the enemy combatant, you just did what was asked and then moved on. You became very, very efficient at it over time. Still, that doesn't mean you can't fuck with Ibiki right now. "Hang on," You say, rubbing your chin. "I think I know what this means.""You do?" Ibiki asks, sounding surprised.You nod. "Yeah yeah, hand me a map of the world real quick, I'll show you." Ibiki rustles through his pack before handing you a map, which you quickly begin drawing on. "See if we take the top coordinates and then connect them with the bottom ones only, while leaving out the middle ones, we come up with this." You turn the map around, showing Ibiki a picture....a picture of a Dickbutt.Ibiki stares at it for a moment, almost like all his synapses just stopped firing, before he closes his eyes and starts counting to ten. Hmm, not easy piss off Ibiki tonight. "Ramen's ready." Teuchi announces, causing the children to cheer. Well, Naruto cheers, and he's the only one that matters so whatever. At this point Ibiki stands up, stuffing his papers away and getting ready to leave. "When you get a chance I do need you to drop by Hidan's cell though, he might need a little bit of your...touch.""Gay." You say, causing Ibiki to roll his eyes again before leaving, allowing you to finally plant your ass down in your seat and enjoy your ramen.Life is good sometimes.>1d100+5>DC 90.
Rolled 93 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>2122760Rolling...