Welcome to Genre Shift! Here, you control a poorly drawn human as he stumbles across time and space, from genre to genre.What you missed last time:>Froze over our Toilet in our cell>Tricked a guard into releasing us>The guard explained he was looking for the Ice Wizard to help him rescue his beloved princess from the depths of hell>Allied with the Knight, Hadrian Stonewall>Snuck down to the armory and distracted the guards.Previous Thread:>>190236Archives:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=genre+shiftQuick Recap:http://pastebin.com/AjHCD9U4will update soonShitposting Discord Channel:https://discord.gg/011dUdhj71abaACxDIf the link is dead and you want to join, just ask me to refresh it
>>209097You hand Hadrian back his helmet before turning towards the armory door. He slips it back on his head and whispers something to Aria.>Aria starts giggling>Hadrian joins inYou become slightly jealous. You resign yourself to enter the armory. Maybe looking at all the loot will help cool your head.1/2
>>209110You enter the armory and see:A Black and Blue Kite shieldA Silver Tower with a Dragon emblazoned on its frontA Wooden TargeA Necklace with some kind of charm on itA Helmet with a neon colored crestA black belt with red stripesA small DaggerA pair of Brass knucklesA Katar adapted onto another pair of Brass knucklesA longsword with a gem embedded in the pommelA children's propeller hatA Stage magician's wandA military baretA staff with some kind of crystal glowing on the endAn EXTREMELY RARE HOLE IN SPACE-TIMEA Double-headed AxeA war hammerAnd a big orange button with a sign that says "Do not Press" in red lettering.Each Party member may take 2 items
>>209110No Fabio! Do not fall for the weaboo angst! You are better than this!
>>209154Allright,For Fabio, the staff and the beltFor Aria, the wand and the beretFor Stonewall, his choice of two sheilds.
>>209154More shields for Hadrian! Follow his ways!
>>209166This exactly.Also, throw the CHILDREN'S PROPELLER HAT into the EXTREMELY RARE HOLE IN SPACE-TIME.
>>209154How about, for whatever we can't take with us, we throw into the EXTREMELY RARE HOLE IN SPACE TIME.On that note, press the orange button.
>>209252This, except throw the orange button in with everything else. Take all of >>209166 as is, and throw everything else in the hole so the guards can't chase us with any of it, and can't push the button.
>>209293Yeah, I don't trust the hole, but sure, why not suicide by stupidity, do this.
>>209166this but 3 shields
You grab what you can for your party and throw everything else into the EXTRAORDINARILY RARE HOLE IN SPACE-TIME.Y0000uu +hin///k m@yb yyyuuuu sho77ld le.%ve t$$%#s ar3@
>>209642is that bigfoot?
>>209642AutoCorrect anomaly detected. EXTREMELY was changed to EXTRAORDINARILY. CHANGE HAS BEEN NOTED. You distribute the loot you grabbed and ask the team where they should head or what they should do next? Straight down to hell? Sidequests? One of the other towns? Another genreWrite in?
>>209658Welp, there's nothing for it but to kill ourselves and go to hell. That or genre shift. Actually let's genre shift to FPS.
>>209658Let's go get our spellbooks. Nevermind the rest of our equipment, but those items in particular might be more than a little bit important to us, as magic users.With those retrieved, we should probably go find what our options are for sidequesting.
>>209658Go Souls-like/Monster Hunter/"challenge RPG"
>>209658go to bridge design tycoon we already have some experience
>>209701no, no more rpg
>>209846There should be one other RPG genre available to us. Since this is JRPG, there should also be western RPG, both of which encompassing all the different permutations of the RPG concept (turn-based, ARPG, pokemon-style collection RPG, digimon-style raise-this-thing RPG, etc...)
>>209891In that case, why don't we just go tabletop RPG, Online Role-playing RPG, or even Quest Thread RPG . Let's not split hairs here, about 80% of this quest has been spent in RPG's, let's do something else.Like Train Drag Racing Simulator.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ0xBCwkg3E
>>209733:^) No Remorse
>>209906Because stereotypical tabletop RPGs (D&D/Pathfinder-tpye settings) ARE western RPGs, and online RPGs can fall into either category. Having a genre for eastern RPGs/JRPGs and a separate genre for western RPGs basically covers everything.And I'm not suggesting we shift over to western RPGs. I'm suggesting that we limit any "RPG"-ype genre choices we EVER make to those two options (dating sim notwithstanding, as it's grandfathered in at this point).
>>209658Time to rescue Ghostbro
Go to The Sims.Simulate a family. Challenge death to a fiddle match and get ghostbro back.A non rpg resolution. Boom.Just no dialogue between characters and just speech bubbles with pictures.
>>210156That might work. We could also update our spacetime home... but what would our unlock be for completing it? HOW do you beat the sims?Second nontheless
>>210156>>210160>>210193>>210314What the actual fuck are you people doing? We can easily access Hell from here, and this is the only genre we can get the fucking Holy spell from. If we abandon getting the Holy spell, Aria will probably leave, and Hadrian will DEFINITELY leave if we aren't helping him with his request.Besides, you're wanting to challenge Death to get Ghostbro back. Death is just the bus driver for the prison; whatever we do has to involve the warden.
>>210372We'll tell Hadrian that we made a promise to a friend and once we fulfill that promise, we'll help him with his thing. Ghost bro came first.
>>210590We might be able to help Ghostbro and Hadrian at the same time. Both tasks involve us going to Hell.
You and Aria begin spitballing ideas on a new genre to Shift to.You suggest an FPS.She suggests recovering her spellbook in this genre.You suggest Giant Kaiju fighterShe suggests train drag racing simulatorYou suggest settling down in the family simulator for a while to collect everyone's thoughts. She begins to rebuttal, but Hadrian butts in.He wants to know what the hell you two are going on about.Before you can explain, a massive crowd of guards rush towards you. You prepare for a fight, but they run past and around you.You can hear them shouting at each other. It seems word has spread that the famous supermodel is displaying his new brand of Chainmail Bikini in the barracks.One of the guards is a bit too rough and shoves you off to the side.You fall.>Onto the button
>>210600God Sim (aka black and white).
>>209110>you become slightly jealous>implying Fabio wouldn't just keep trying to seduce Stonewall so that they a could have a group polygamous relationshipAlso, I thought Fabio was a monk? Everything is connected, he and the universe are one. Even feelings of loss and detachment have substance and are connected to the same universal being, so wouldn't his natural reaction be to meditate on that feeling instead of distracting himself with something else?
>>210595Yeah, they might even involve the same person (remember the "princess rogue"?)
>>210631>>210677You look up and you are on the sidewalk of some city you don't recognize. There is a floating green crystal hanging above your head, just out of reach. In the background is a gross colored house. Who the hell would color their house that shade of bluegreen?Looking at it actually hurts your eyes.You look around and a plethora of other oddly colored houses are in the distance.What would you like to do?
>>210702Go into the house
>>210702Find your party members first
>>210702Check status screen for household members
>>210723You turn around again and realize something is off...Wait, neither Aria nor Hadrian Shifted with you.Well, you'll just shift back real quick and-Nope, the button is missing again. Because of course it is.
>>210778So those two are somewhere by themselves? Shit. Insecurity begins to overtake you. The idea that Aria might seduce Stonewall before you fills you with an inexplicable rage. But, being the chill monk you are, you accept this feeling instead of distracting yourself or letting this feeling overcome you.Then enter the house
>>210794>>210814You begin to worry about Stonewall trying to romance Aria before remembering that time freezes while you are not in that genre. You should be fine.After putting those thoughts to the back of your mind, you approach the door of the house. Without even knocking you attempt to open it.You're mildly surprised to find that it is locked.Awful sounding music is drifting out from the inside.You knock on the door.The door swings open.>Give me a name and a short description of who opens the door
>>210859Hal Jordan, hot blond with a bod, and your new roommate.
>>210859Fabio, a blue shirted fellow with rwally long eyes and a blank white bog ol head opens the door.
>>210859Hail, Gunther of...the web! Armed with the Sword of Azeroth at the belt and a Darth Vader helmet donned. Behold thine divine vestige! Alternatively, it could be a hot chick (who needs Aria pffft).
>>210870big* ol head
>>210859The OP opens the door.
>>210870This, we need alt-reality Fabio
>>210859Jaqk, a QM who was just working on Genre Shift when Fabio rudely interrupted him
>>210870Oibaf, the destroyer. I think it's kinda racist how dark he is, and what kind of asshole wears orange?
You are minding your own business, practicing your saxophone, when you are rudely interrupted by a knock at your door.You swing it open and are greeted by a surprised, but devilishly handsome face. Almost as handsome as you are. Wait a minute. He looks an awful lot like you do actually. Some fanboy cosplay?But he has the shirt color all wrong, that blue is so last season.
>>211049Furiously make out with that sexy stud
>>211049Ask alt Fabio if he's autosexual/narcissistic like you are.
>>211049Show speech bubbles that display traits while verbally speaking garbage
>>211090I guess this makes sense
Roll a 1d8 to decide what symbols the conversation uses.right now you are shift!Fabio, not alt!fabioI need three sperate rolls for this.pulling another long day at work
Rolled 7 (1d8)>>211258
Rolled 2 (1d8)>>211258If write in, ask him about his day job.
Rolled 8 (1d8)>>211258
>>211276Either draw your own symbol or leave it blank.
You begin to speak to your minty green doppelganger only to find that your words come out as unintelligible garbage. However, symbols begin to appear over your head as you continue.You speak an epic tale of finding a mystical button, traveling across space and time, finding your true love, losing another love.Initially he looks distraught when a swastika appears above your head, but you quickly explain to him that you became a monk to follow the Zen ways of the universe and that the swastika represents success in Buddhism and Hinduism.A quick nod of his head assures you that he is now completely up to speed on the story thus far. And it only took three symbols
>>211374Ask him if he has a copy of Stewart little 2
>>211374Okay, now do this >>211064
>>211374Ask alt!Fabio if he's seen a palm-sized box with a big red button on it.
>>211391You ask him if he has a copy of the movie Stewart Little 2He replies that the DVD copy that he had broke from watching it too many times. He now only has Stewart Little 1
>>211426Ask him what the point of this world is.
>>211426Ask if he has a task for a stanger to fulfill
>>211426Doppelgangers clothes change. Also the lawn is a different color. Ask why everything changes.
>>211472because fuck you :^) Also, op doesn't use a pallet, just guesses what colors he used previously.
>>211478I wasnt making fun. I was literally suggesting things turn into a diff color cuz... sims
>>211064For whatever reason you push the conversation into more awkward territory.You ask him about his sexuality and if he is still as autosexual as you were before you met Aria.He tells you- um n-n-no way! He's totally always surrounded by b-babes!Alt!Fabio is now uncomfortable.
>>211489Use apologize and then silly dance
>>211489Let's drop this subject for now.Ask if alt!Fabio seen the genre-shifting button.
>>211489Seduce him, you know you/him want to
>>211489Tell him seductively that it's okay, you dont need to worry about babes as long as you got you...him...whatever.
>>211636And if that makes him even more uncomfortable, tell him that we've also got a hot chick and a prison guard in another universe, as well as a theif in the fiery depths of hell that you two could share. Together, of course. That isn't weird. It isn't.
You ask him if he has seen the Genre Shift Button anywhere.He says he hasn't and asks you politely to leave. It seems your frequent questions of self love have made him both confused and uncomfortable.Back out on the street, you consider your options.The street runs north/southNorth, there looks to be a thunderstorm brewing, as well as a large stretch of land up on a cliff.South, you can see a town square and plaza full of shops. You see a few small, empty plots of land as well
>>211650It would be just our luck that the button is somewhere to the north. Let's knock on alt!Fabio's door again and ask to borrow his car.
>>211650Don't give up! Go back to altFabio and finish what you started. You need to learn to love yourself.
>>211650Walk to a random mailbox and whisper "rosebud". Earn $1000
>>211650Don't incur the wrath of the loading screens. Follow this advice >>211696 and then notice that the house has taken on the shape of a penis, with a suspiciously large number of paintings and a locked basement.
>>211650Go to one of those empty plots of land and start building a house.
As you walk past Fabio's mailbox you get a sudden urge.And irresistible urge.And urge...To whisper something to a mailboxIt could be anything. Anything at all, you don't care.You lean in and your mind starts running through your list of one-liners.Finally your thoughts settle on one phrase.The perfect phrase.The one you prepared for this exact scenario.Your mind whispers *Rosebud*, but your mouth whispers *I'm a dirty cheater*>+1,000 Simoleons
>>211938Head up to the big empty lot on the cliffside under the thunderstorm?Or head into the city and to one of the smaller plots of land?
>>211938Well it was this or rob people blind for quick cash.
>>211938Go to the city and buy the finest prostitute 1000 simoleons can buy
>>211951Small plot. We shall make a cheap home and find a job making use of our CHA.
>>211938>>211951Just start fucking walking north to investigate the cliffside in the storm.
[zalgo] this zalgo won't work [/zalgo]
>>212031[obןɐz]You have to turn your keyboard over[/obןɐz]
>>211951The thunderstorm! That sounds like a fun place.
>>212102>>212112You begin the long trek to the Thunderstorm shrouded hill.All too soon the pavement stops and a dirt road beginsYou see a wooden sign pointing you towards THOR'S BLUFF.Eventually you run out of dirt trail and are left to walk the grassy fields
>>212416Proceed to THOR'S BLUFF to see what may be there. Specifically the genre shift remote, but other things of interest are other things of interest.
>>212444Second. Maybe we can eventually make a mansion here. Then we can be mad scientists.
>>212416Slight art upgrade! I guess if we're already here, then we should go check out THOR'S BLUFF. I don't really know much about the sims, so I don't know what this genre can do to us in terms of punishing mistakes. So what do we have besides the money we just got?
>>212416Where did our green crystal thingy go?
>>212465The Oddly Shaped Key, a sense of adventure, our OVERFLOWING MACHISMO has returned, The Strange Crystal Staff, and the Black and Red Belt. Our loot is not equipped right now as there are no hostiles as of yet.>>212470Fuuuuck, I knew I was forgetting something. Oh well.On my way home right now, a couple more updates tonight, but I'm not sure how many as I have another long workday tomorrow morning.
>>212484Is the key considered a quest item like our EXTREMELY RARE PEPE FLAVORED LINT?
>>212509Indeed it is, now that someone checked it
You proceed to THOR'S BLUFF. Upon cresting the final hill you spot a small figure clad in black.As you approach you can see a small sign.The letters are too small for you to see yet.You slow your pace. What if this is a trap?What if this is another agent of the black knight?What if this thing wants to kill you. You inch forward slower than a Snailturtle.You can just barely make out the sign from here...FOR SALE: 995 SIMOLEONS
>>212764Jeegus FAQ! Buy it now! With a little work you could flip this property for hundreds of thousands of simoleons.
>>212764Talk to the old lady, there might be a curse here
>>212782Second. Ask her how she's doing, be polite and socuial and stuff, and ask her to give you a tour of the house and tell you about all of the details and stuff.
Op shall return in the morning or afternoon depending on what pace tomorrow's workload shapes up to be
>>212764I think it's pretty fucking obvious what we need to do here.Seduce the old lady, move in with her, sell every possession she owns and then move on to the next target.Thus is the circle of sim life.
>>212764Dont buy the empty plot! You dont have enough money to furnish it! Or...build for that matter. Just talk to witch lady.
>>213997This. Also dont forget to draw the Plumbob [aka green crystal]
You talk to the nice? old lady. You ask a multitude of questions in quick succession.How is she doing?Why is the land so cheap?Is there a curse on the land?Does she have a boyfriend?What's up with the Thunderstorm?Why isn't it raining here?Why is there a floating crystal above your head?What's the deal with airline food?Why is the Hill called Thor's Bluff?Without missing a step, she answers each in turn.She is doing fine, but not well.The land is cheap because nobody would buy it at a higher price.No, the land isn't cursed.She has a husband of 487 years and they are celebrating 488 this weekend.The sea beyond the cliffside is cursed with an eternal storm (giving the illusion that the storm is also above the hill)See aboveWhat floating crystal?You aren't funny.The previous owner thought THOR'S BLUFF would be a cool name, but technically you could rename it if you owned the hill.
>>213997Couldn't we just keep abusing Rosebud to get infinite dosh though?Assuming this place has a mailbox, of course.And also assuming OP wouldn't pull something to keep us from doing that.
>>214048>ready to crash the local economy
>>214055Scream "motherlode" repeatedly.
>>214034Haggle with the hag for a lower price, this place isn't exactly prime real estate
>>214065You don't understand real estate, do you.
>>214070No, but I understand fake estate
>>214034I say we buy that shit. It's a great spot to build a base. Especially if we keep collecting companions.
>>214034Ask her if she's seen a metal box with a big red button on it.
>>214127>>214222You ask her if she has seen a small, grey box made of metal with a round, red button on top."Yes""...""...""..."You wait for more of an answer but she doesn't continue.
>>214248Oh shit. Ask her where she saw it, how recently, and if she can show us where it is!
>>214251She mentions that she saw the symbol appear above your head. As to when? She doesn't know, maybe 20-30 seconds ago.
>>214259Fucking smartass cuntTell her that you want to buy her land
>>214259Great. She's a comedian.Tell her we're interested in buying the property, but we would like a quick tour first to be sure.
Talk about the box and as you do grab the image
>>214279Second. Also death appears to claim her soul
>>214298Yeah! Let's talk to death. Maybe (s)he can tell us how to get to hell to save ghost bro.
>>214298>>214322Guys, she and her husband have been married for over 400 years.I think she might be married to Death.
>>214279You tell her you're interested, but you want a tour first.She agrees to show you around. She motions for you to follow her, take about 4 steps and gestures around with her hands and cane."There's the ocean, there's the sky and thunderstorm, here's the hill, you want it or not?"
>>214338"Yes." I kind of like her.
>>214338Wait, we're just buying the cliff? I thought we were buying the house with it?Eh, fuck it. Let's take it. We can build a mad scientist's lair here eventually.
>>214345We can place interdimensional home here?
>>214357Nah, we should have multiple homes. As >>214345 said, we should build a mad scientist lair here.
>>214338Buy it. You wont get Holy in this world, but you might get Thors Thunder.Also plumbob
>>214411I think one home is fine. I like the idea of having a home base that holds trophies
>>214411One home. One family. I dont think we should buy it as a home. Rather buy it for more commercial reason
The words on the for sale sign change to SOLD shortly before both the sign and the old lady disappear. You didn't even hand her the money, but when you check, you only have 5 Simoleons left...A menu prompt comes up saying you have one INTERDIMENSIONAL SAFEHOUSE to place.
>>214451Well if its an option.. do it!
>>214451Sure, why not?Maybe now that we've placed it down in a sim-type genre like this, we can start adding some actual furnishings to it.Or at least get a better bed.
>>214451Place it on top of the cliff, make sure the door is facing away from the cliffface.
>>214464I bet Aria will appreciate a better bed.
You place your INTERDIMENSIONAL SAFEHOUSE as far up the hill as safely possible. The back window faces out to sea.Not much has changed since you last left.You wave a hello to REGINALD, THE VENUS FLYTRAP. He does not return your greeting, but you know he is glad for your return all the same.The DOOMSDAY CLOCK appears to have stopped ticking for now.The MYSTERIOUSLY MYSTERIOUS CUBE is orange again.The HALF EATEN HEART still looks just as tasty as the other half was.The MOODBOB shines a bright green, reflecting your upbeat attitude.
>>214588Push the button to go back to Aria and Hadrian
>>214588OH SHIT THE BUTTONGRAB IT BEFORE SOMETHING HAPPENS
>>214588THE BLOCK IS GLOWING AGAINAND THE BUTTON IS ON THE BEDEVERYTHING IS GOOD AGAIN FOREVER FUCK YESLET'S SEE WHAT'S IN THE BLOCK
>>214588Hit(ler) the orange box
>>214588Try to summon ghost bro through the orange box again. Maybe he got parole? Also maybe we can Phoenix Wright a way to release him.
You tap the bottom of the MYSTERIOUSLY MYSTERIOUS CUBE. Out the top of the cube pops... another cube...Hey that looks like a stat-up!Role a 1d20First role to respond1-5 Dud, no Stat Up6-7 HP UP8-9 MANA UP10-11 STR UP12-13 INT UP14-15 SPD UP16-17 CHA UP18-19 EVERY STAT UP20 EVERY STAT UP TWICE
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>214724dice gods don't fail me now!
Rolled 13 (1d20)Fuck
>>214724... I have never been so horribly disappointed to see a stat upgrade.
>>214733Why? Hes an ice wizard. It helps. At least its a functional stat
>>214730Op will make a new Character sheet later. If I forget to increase Fabio's mana somebody tell at meI'm going on a short break. In the meantime, feel free to argue about what genre we shift to next.and if we come to a consensus on going back for Aria and Hadrian right away, argue about where to go from there.Or don't. See you guys in like an hour, hour and a halfish
>>214746Get back to Aria and Stonewall
>>214739I was hoping it was Ghostbro, or some form of contact from Ghostbro.>>214746We must invite alt!Fabio to come with us to see other worlds, starting with JRPG to confuse the shit out of Aria and Hadrian with our new clone!
>>214733Sorry, Anon ;_; can't always be a super op item or GHOSTBRO
>>214770Don't get me wrong, I love that we got a free stat upgrade saving us a lot of grind work to raise shit by leveling up.I just miss Ghostbro...
>>214746Switch to Doom and invade Hell in co-op mode with Aria and Hadrian.
>>214799>Three Player Splitscreen. Have you played that shit before, Anon? Terrible>>214796I think we all do ;_;
>>214799>pick a genre>Doom!That is not a genre, sir. That is a title.
>>214812Ok then, switch to a Doom-like shooter. And invade Hell.>>214810Splitscreen is horrible. Invade via LAN party.
>>214827I believe the term you're looking for is first-person shooter. Specifically, the retro-FPS subgenre.
Can't we go to hell in a JRPG? FF2 comes to mind.
>>214857That would be up to the QM, but there's no reason we can't go to Hell in a JRPG. I can even think of at least one JRPG that takes place entirely within Hell.
>>214857Isn't Hell Tower Hell in that universe? Also, OP, is the "princess rogue" still a thing? Was it ever a thing? Please tell me it's a thing.
>>214947Sorry Anon, 'twas non canon art to make fun of someone Although, maybe that IS Ghostbro's hell
So what's our priority? Getting Holy or saving ghost bro?
>>215096Ghostbro first, since he probably knows a lot about the Holy. We should check the Hell tower thing before anything else.
>>215096This is a good question.As anyone might have guessed, HOLY is not in HELL, so we need to choose a primary focus.Your mind wanders back to Aria and Hadrian. When you Shift back the JRPG, where do you go from there? Another genre? Another location? Do you stay in the city as wanted murderers? As escapees?
>>215124Ghostbro can definitely help us find Holy. Holy might not, and in fact is very likely to not be able to help us get Ghostbro.My vote is to collect alt!Fabio, re-join Aria and Hadrian in JRPG, and find a way to get the fuck into Hell to rescue either Ghostbro or Hadrian's princess, whichever opportunity presents itself first.
>>215124Flee to the frozen wastes, far to the north you shall find a demon clad in blue, amuse him, and he shall give you transport to hell, and back, else, the trip is one way. I mean, if this is how it really works, going to hell with your friends I mean.
>>215124Ghost bro is the only one for us.
>>215124I say we go back to the JRPG genre and ask Hadrian if he knows a way to get to hell. If not, we can look around until we find an entrance or shift to a genre that would allow us easier access. Though I think everyone is in agreement that we need to rescue ghost bro.
You Shift back to JRPG, opting to get the party back together before you Shift somewhere that you need them. You briefly catch them up on what happened.Aria looks worried, Hadrian looks surprised.You still aren't sure where to go.I'll relist the options within the Jrpg world in the next post
>>215319Ask Aria why she's worried.Also, why are we still waffling? Three of the four posts about what to do next suggested going to Hell to rescue Ghostbro.
>>215336Short of dying, we still don't know any way to get into hell
>>215347Then let's kill ourselves.
>>215347>>215319Since all the guards are in the barracks, it's probably safe for us to go get our spellbooks. Let's retrieve those and get the hell out of here.
>>215355Nope, do>>215318 instead
>>215319Continue quest to help Hadrian and to find Holy
>>215319Lets find Holy. Ghostbro will still be in hell. The calamity that will kill everyone is the immediate threat. If we need to help Hadrian we should. I repeat. Ghostbro is not going anywhere. He can wait.
>>215441Neither is the meteor, and dating sim isn't suffering in the meantime.
>>215441Not discrediting your suggestion, but merely pointing something out. It has been established that time freezes in a genre while we are not actively in it. Thus the DatingSim World is not in active danger.It has also been established that ghosts live outside the Space-time dimensions that the genres do, and as such, GHOSTBRO has been, and will continue to suffer his eternal damnation, no matter how many genres we shift pastalmost done with next update. Had to finish up at work. It's been a real bitch this week.
Guys, might I point something out?We're just standing still discussing all of this in the middle of a hallway inside the prison we are currently in the middle of escaping from, and even though they were distracted by a celebrity and didn't come after us, ALL of the guards in the building saw us as they ran by.For now, nevermind how we're getting to Hell or how we're finding HOLY. Our first priority is to get the ever loving fuck out of here and find some place to lay low. We might also be lucky enough to grab our spellbooks as we leave.
>>215539High tail it to the nearest middle of nowhere.
To the North, The Frozen Wastes howl with a never ending torrent of winds. Legends tell of an Shaman who knows ancient magics.Silverstone, in the South-East, used to be a military encampment before being abandoned by the army and settled by travelers with nowhere else to go.In the far west lies Rak'nee, a barbarian tribe village. Pit fights and Hunting for sport are common here. Caution is advised hereSouth, through the Mountain's Divide, are a series of caves and tunnels to the other side of the continent. Aria says she hasn't ever been to that half and knows nothing about the southern half of the lands.What direction would you like to head or would you like to stay in Port Lynden? You hear angry yells coming from the direction the guards ran. It seems they've discovered that you are not, in fact, showing off scantily clad women in Chainmail bikinis. It would be wise to leave. The prison at the least.
>>215623Tfw your update doesn't actually post and you spent the 45 minute drive home anticipating all the responses it was going to receive.
>>215623So our choices are,ShamanOutcastsBarbarians And mystery. I think we all know where we need to go.
>>215623Lets go see the shaman
>>215623Shaman, no doubt. Even if he has no idea how to get to hell and back, or get holy, then he would probably know who can help us the most.
>>215623>>215629Boogie the fuck on outta the prison, disappear into the crowd of the city, play it cool, find a caravan heading north, and offer the party's services as caravan security in trade for transportation (and maybe a paycheck).
>>215648Indeed, yes we do. The choice is extremely obvious, as all of us players should be in agreement. If OP has any sort of brain-cells in that blonde head of his, then he too should know what we are speaking of with no further clarification.
>>215648>>215933Yes, I mean the choice is so obviously obvious, the even an oblivious onlooker would be obliged to observe the obviousness that is the one and only option.
>>215623>>215629For clarification, >>215802 is a vote for the shaman.
>>215947>>215933I sense sarcasm, you mean to tell me that the shaman wasn't the obvious choice in your eyes.
>>215623Let's head to the shaman, boss. As >>215802 said.
>>215802>>216142You boogie woogie outta the prison, and you waltz out of the city. You tell your companions that you have a plan.On the outskirts of the town of Port Lynden, three travelers stand next to the road headed north.Roll a d20 to decide what type of caravan (if any) rolls by.
>>217002MB, it's still early in the morning. Here's the pic
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>217002>>217007Rolling
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>217007I hope its Gypsies
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>217007Dragon kin
>>217024You wind up waiting for a few hours. You hope someone comes soon.Try not to roll lower than a 5
>>217029>>217038not counting these because they were posted before the update. Only first roll counts
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>217039Dammit
>>217048I never did listen well to others. [Damn you op]
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>217039Rolling for good luck.
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>217039You can't tell me what to do
>>217048At least it wasn't a 2 or 1. Op is drawing now, had a shitload of work, and now has freetime
Despite your hitchhiking vigil, no caravans, or even travelers pass you by. It would appear that the Frozen Wastes are not a popular destination.The sun falls behind the horizon and darkness is quick to close in. You are Hadrian swiftly gather dead branches and Aria lights a fire for the three of you.After setting up camp, everyone sits down to relax. It's been a long day. Hadrian asks if anyone has any stories to trade. He has a few good ones and plenty of bad ones to share.You pull out a marshmallow and roast it.>Storytime?This is a special Write-in. Feel free to reply with any number of stories you'd like Fabio to tell to Hadrian and Aria. Comedy, horror, tragedy. Long, short, doesn't matter. Op will pick one to draw in his shitty art style.
>>217563No story, let's sing a campfire songI call this one, the campfire song song.Let's gather 'round the campfire, and sing our campfire song.Our -c-a-m-p-f-i-r-e- -s-o-n-g- song.And if you don't think that we can sing it faster than you're wrong, but it'll help if you just sing alooong.bum, bum, buuum...-c-a-m-p-f-i-r-e- -s-o-n-g- song.-c-a-m-p-f-i-r-e- -s-o-n-g- song,And if you don't think that we can sing it faster than you're wrong,But it'll help if you just sing alooong.-c-a-m-p-f-i-are-e- -s-o-n-g- song,(Herein one would ask there companions to sing a verse or two)It'll heeeelp, it'll heeeeeelp, if you just sing aloooooong!Oooh yeah!
>>217617Only if you record yourself singing it and doing different voices for both Fabio and Aria. Hadrian can either join in or become the squidward.
>>217563Horror-realitySo like... i came from a world where magic didn't exist. Money was hard to come by and most of what i did make just got sent to the government. There wasnt dragons or wolves, but we did have jahova witnesses and WalMart. I dont think anyone was ready for those deceivingly low prices. Only until the good Ol' US of A decided that money was our government did we know true suffering.This is why Fabios home was so underfurnished. The credit card companies stole everything! Even his food stamps.
>>217563Tell the story about how once you decided to shave the hair from between your buttcheeks. It felt nice to be smooth but walking around or doing anything beyond breathing made you sweaty and and stink awful and that you felt the cheeks rub up against each other with every step you took.
Tell the story of a man trying to impress a girl. They would go on dates and stuff but when he would turn to leave she would always laugh. He eventually decides to check to see if there was something wrong with the back of his head in the mirror and discovers there are snippets of hair missing. He decides that when he goes to bed that night he'll pretend to sleep and catch the culprit. That night an old lady sneaks out of his air vent with a pair of scissors, ready to cut off another lock. The guy walks up and scares her so badly that she has a heart attack and dies. The guy investigates the air vent and finds a wee little baby with the head of a goat, the human part of it's body has the patches of his missing hair glued on. As he's about to leave the guy feels a wrinkly hand on his neck from behind.
>>217733speaking from personal experience? Sounds like a serious issue, Anon.
>>217563In a black, black future, in black, black space, there floats a black, black spaceship. Inside of the black, black spaceship there's a black, black cabin. In the black, black cabin, at the black, black table, sits a black, black Commissar, writing in a black, black notebook black lists. And beside him on the black, black table rests a black, black vox with a single, blood-red button. And someday, when you are least expecting it, the black vox will ring. And then the black, black Commissar will take the black, black receiver, and say:No this is not the laundry! How did you get this number anyway!?
>>217563>>217783Tell the story that inadvertently attracts a caravan heading to the north to come listen to the tale and offer us a ride in return.
>>217873I don't know that one, care to share? :^)
>>217563Story time for you all;A man, a simple man. What does he do? He sits all day, being blinded by the sun, icecream cone in hand. What lasts? All melts in the sun, only the scorching heat and light remains, simple man feels simply about this all.
>>217563Mörður hét maður er kallaður var gígja. Hann var sonur Sighvats hins rauða. Hann bjó á Velli á Rangárvöllum. Hann var ríkur höfðingi og málafylgjumaður mikill og svo mikill lögmaður að engir þóttu löglegir dómar dæmdir nema hann væri við. Hann átti dóttur eina er Unnur hét. Hún var væn kona og kurteis og vel að sér og þótti sá bestur kostur á Rangárvöllum.Nú víkur sögunni vestur til Breiðafjarðardala. Maður er nefndur Höskuldur. Hann var Dala-Kollsson. Móðir hans hét Þorgerður og var dóttir Þorsteins hins rauða, Ólafssonar hins hvíta, Ingjaldssonar, Helgasonar. Móðir Ingjalds var Þóra, dóttir Sigurðar orms í auga, Ragnarssonar loðbrókar. Unnur hin djúpúðga var móðir Þorsteins rauðs, dóttir Ketils flatnefs, Bjarnarsonar bunu. Höskuldur bjó á Höskuldsstöðum í Laxárdal.Hrútur hét bróðir hans. Hann bjó á Hrútsstöðum. Hann var sammæður við Höskuld. Faðir hans var Herjólfur. Hrútur var vænn maður, mikill og sterkur, vígur vel og hógvær í skapi, manna vitrastur, hagráður við vini sína en tillagagóður hinna stærri mála.Það var einu hverju sinni að Höskuldur hafði vinaboð og þar var Hrútur bróðir hans og sat hið næsta honum. Höskuldur átti sér dóttur er Hallgerður hét. Hún lék sér á gólfi við aðrar meyjar. Hún var fríð sýnum og mikil vexti og hárið svo fagurt sem silki og svo mikið að það tók ofan á belti.Höskuldur kallar á hana: "Far þú hingað til mín," sagði hann.Hún gekk þegar til hans. Hann tók undir hökuna og kyssti hana. Síðan gekk hún í braut.Þá ræddi Höskuldur til Hrúts: "Hversu líst þér á mey þessa, þykir þér eigi fögur vera?"Hrútur þagði við. Höskuldur talaði til annað sinn.Hrútur svaraði þá. "Ærið fögur er mær sjá og munu margir þess gjalda. En hitt veit eg eigi hvaðan þjófsaugu eru komin í ættir vorar."Þá reiddist Höskuldur og var fátt um með þeim bræðrum nokkura hríð.Bræður Hallgerðar voru þeir Þorleikur, faðir Bolla, og Ólafur, faðir Kjartans, og Bárður.
>>218341Brennu-Njáls saga, the best saga
>>217563Anata dake no kuso anata wa sukoshi meinu, watashinitsuite nanda ittai o iimashita ka? Watashi wa anata ga watashi wa neibīshīruzu de watashi no kurasu no toppu o sotsugyō shitte iru hitsuyō ga arimasu, to watashi wa Aru Quaeda ni tasū no himitsu no shūgeki ni kan'yo shite kita, to watashi wa 300 ijō no kakunin kiru o motte imasu. Watashi wa gorira-sen no kunren o ukete iruto watashi wa, zentai no beigun no toppu sogekidesu. Anata wa watashiniha nani mo naku, chōdo betsu no tāgettode wa arimasen. Watashi wa watashi no kuso no kotoba o māku shi, seido de anata ni kono chikyū-jō de mae ni mita koto no naite iru no dōrui o seikō o issō shimasu. Anata wa intānetto o kaishite watashi ni sono tawagoto o itte nigeru koto ga dekiru to omoimasu ka? Mōichido kangaete, yarō. Wareware ga hanasu yō ni, watashi wa Zenbei supai no watashinohimitsu no nettowāku o sesshoku sa sete imasushi, anata ga yori yoi arashi, ujimushi no junbinode, anata no IP wa genzai torēsu sa rete imasu. Anata no jinsei o yobidasu awarena chīsana mono o issō arashi. Anata wa shinde, kodomo o kuso shite imasu. Watashi wa itsu demo, doko demo suru koto ga deki, watashi wa hyaku 7 ōbā no hōhō de anata o korosu koto ga deki, sore wa chōdo watashi no sudededesu. Dakedenaku, anata sukoshi tawagoto, watashi wa kōhan'i ni hi busō no sentō de kunren o uketaga, watashi wa Beikoku kaihei-tai no zentai no kōshō e no akusesu-ken o motte iruto watashi wa tairiku no kao o hanarete anata no mijimena o shiri o fuku tame ni, sono saidaigen ni sore o shiyō shimasu. Anata wa sukoshi" kashikoi" no komento wa anata ni daun sa seru to shite ita jaakuna mono hōfuku shira rete iru koto ga dekiru yuiitsu no baai wa, tabun anata wa anata no kuso shita o kaisai shite irudarou. Shikashi, anata wa, anata wa shimasendeshitaga dekinakatta, soshite ima anata ga kakaku o haratte iru, anata wa baka o inakamono no hakujin yarō. Watashi wa subete no anata no ue ni ikari o tawagoto sa re, anata wa sore ni oboremasu. Anata wa shinda, kimi o kuso shite imasu.
>>217563"Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died! The end."
>>218414>>218414Hvurn andskotann varst þú að rífa kjaft við mig, lilta tíkin þín? Ég skal láta þig vita, að ég húskrifaðist með hæstu einkunn úr LandhelgisgæsluSELUNUM, og ég hef yfir 300 staðfest dráp. Ég er þjálfaður í górilluhernaði og er besta skyttan í öllu íslenska varnarliðinu. Þú ert ekkert fyrir mér nema enn eitt skotmarkið. Ég mun þurrka þig andskotans út með nákvæmni sem hefur aldrei sést á þessarri ´jörð áður, trúðu fokking mér. Í þessarri andrá er ég að hafa samband við mitt leynilega njósnaranet um allt Ísland og IP-talan þín er rekin, svo þú myndir gera vel að undirbúa þig fyrir fárviðrið, maðkur. Fárviðrið sem þurrkar út þann aumkunarverða litla hlut sem þú kallar fjör þitt.Þú ert fokking feigur, krakki. Ég get verið hvar sem er, hvenær sem er, og get drepið þig á yfir sjö hundruð vegu, og það bara með mínum beru höndum. Ég er ekki einungis þjálfaður til þrautar í óvopnuðum bardaga, heldur hef ég aðgang að öllu vopnabúri íslensku Landhelgisgæslunnar og ég mun nota það til fulls til þess að þurrka þinn átakaverða rass af andliti eyjunnar, litli saurinn þinn. Ef þú aðeins hefðir vitað hvaða vanhelga endurgjald þitt litla "snjalla" komment myndi láta dynja á þér, myndir þú kannski hafa haldið andskotans tungunni þinni. En þú gast það eigi, gerðir það eigi, og nú ertu að fá það borgað, helvítis ratinn þinn. Ég mun skíta heift á þig og þú munt drukkna í henni. Þú ert fokking dauður, strákskratti.
>>215355>the heavenly counsel decides to put you in heaven instead just to troll you
Holy shit, is it time for another thread already?
Oh dear, it's been a while
Real life issues keep coming up unfortunately. This quest is on hiatus until 6/12. Sorry.
>>230169See you later, buddy ;_;
>>230169We'll be here when you're able to run the game for us. No worries, no rush.
>>230169I'll be baiting with waited breath
>>233753oh nevermindi'm dumb.ded thred