This is an adventure game using a pair of Lego sets as the basis for the scenario. You control our protagonist, Emily Jones, by posting directions here. Your goal is to break into the Goblin King's fortress, rescue your sister, and escape back to Earth.The previous adventure, Funtron, can be found at http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Funtron%20Space%20AdventureMost of the story was completed in the last thread (>>1938867), so this thread will mostly serve to conclude the quest.I'll begin right where we left off.
>>1956434A: "Child of Friends… I'm afraid I've run out of patience."The Archon's enormous clawhand slams down over you like a cage. His eyes are fixed on you, cold and gleaming under the lights of Godt. He smiles the only smile he can, but all vestiges of mirth have fled from it entirely.A: "Now, die."
>>1956535You brace yourself silently for whatever comes next.
>>1956548The impact of the Kringle Crusher knocks the Archon headfirst into the portal! Down he goes, his ugly, red hat and head vanishing into the depths of Galidor before he can catch himself. His muffled screaming nearly drowns out your voice as you call to the Goblin King.E: "Now!"
>>1956566With a sharp snap, the portal suddenly transforms from a metaphysical hole in the universe back into a hard plastic disc, slicing clean through the Archon's neck. His body tumbles to the ground with a resounding thud and falls still.You have vanquished the Archon of Lifestyle Products.
>>1956576You gather round the collosal wreck in an almost fearful silence, as though one stray word might recalibrate the portal and send him back to you. Finally, you venture to speak.E: "Is he… dead?"GK: "No. What is born of Leg Slemt knows neither life nor death, but he is no longer in this world. His spirit has been banished to Galidor, whence we should all pray he will never return. You did well, Emily Jones. It is no easy feat to overcome an Archon. You may very well have saved Elfland."E: "Well, you know, I've had a bit of practice…"OC: "Three cheers for Emily Jones, hero of Elfland! Huzzah!"BC: "Huzzah!'GF: "Huzzah!"CC: "Let's throw a gala in her honor!"As the goblins cheer and celebrate you victory, you glance down at the portal. Just a little longer now. You'll be home soon enough. But after all this time, you have to admit Elfland feels a bit like home too. You know you're going to miss it.What will you do?
Rolled 3 (1d6)>>1956584Hug Grape Fanta
>>1956595You lean down and wrap Grape Fanta up in a tight embrace. He's still a little sticky from that potion and a little smelly, but gosh darn it, he deserves this hug. Grape Fanta begins to sniffle.What will you do?
Rolled 6 (1d6)>>1956633We still have the archon's body and weapon lying around, and I don't think we want them in the Elfland. We have to figue out something to carry those and dump from The Edge.
>>1956696You can't just leave the Archon's body and the Kringle Crusher lying around the village forever. They're an eyesore, and probably cursed or something. Together you convert the prison wagon to a makeshift bier and load up the remnants of Leg Slemt for disposal over the Edge.
>>1956765Hauling the titanic corpse through the village, you reminisce about all the time you spent there: at Sentry Hill, all those plants you murdered; at the workshop, the fire you lit that eventually destroyed it; at the crystal shop... actually, you never even went in there. All the better for the crystal shop, maybe.
>>1956785You reach the Edge, the boundary between the realm of Leg Godt and the primeval chaos of Leg Slemt. The Kringle Crusher rolls off into the abyss as you slide the Archon's body up to the brink, and you never hear it hit the bottom.
I just realized, where's your sister?
>>1956792Ashes to ashes; ABS to ABS. Out of Leg Slemt it came, and it is into Leg Slemt that it will go.
>>1956811Oh wait, there she is. Aiight.
>>1956811What will you do?
>>1956797She was present on the last 5 pics or so.
>>1956838Wreck the Crystal Shop. Then home.
Rolled 1 (1d6)>>1956838Help with the rebuilding, as we did destroy a fair portion of Elfland.
>>1957038>>1956856GK: "So, Emily, it seems your quest is complete. Will you be returning home now?"E: "Not just yet. I feel like I have a duty to stay a little longer and help rebuild your village, especially consider I did more damage to it than the Archon (and I kinda want to see what's inside the crystal shop…)"GK: "Your help will be much appreciated. Come, then; let's set to work!"
>>1957418You spend the next few days putting the village and fortress back together, brick by brick. Everything that was broken or stolen you return to its proper place. You even plant new chompers to replace the ones you senselessly butchered.
>>1957434Finally, your work is done.E: "You know, the pastel green is sort of growing on me."GK: "It was my mother's favorite color. I'm sure she'd be glad to see the village returning to prosperity. And speaking of prosperity, the goblins and I would like to invite you to a little something tonight at the crystal shop. It's not exactly a gala, but we thought we'd at least throw a dinner party in your honor. Are you interested?"E: "Of course!"You just need to make sure you don't wreck the crystal shop too badly.
>>1957436You arrive that evening at the crystal shop. There's a lively clamor coming from within. The king ushers you inside and you bonk your head on the doorway.
>>1957438GK: "Friends, we are gathered here today to celebrate Emily Jones, who saved us from the bird of evil, the Archon of Lifestyle Products, and from herself too! A toast!"BC&SL&GF&CC&OC: "To Emily Jones!"E: "To the Goblin Village!"The party begins in earnest. Orange Creamsicle busts out the secret strawberries from under his bed and provides a pleasant melody on his guitar. Blueberry Cheesecake and Cherry Cobbler both go straight for the drumsticks, while you're not entirely certain what Strawberry Lemonade is drinking, but it looks sort of gross. Meanwhile, Grape Fanta is chugging either healing potion or Grape Fanta out of that flask. The Goblin King, as the only legal human adult in the room, has the whole bottle of liquor to himself and drinks far too much of it. He spends the rest of the evening belting out increasingly unintelligible tracks from Labyrinth. You suppose that part of his personality wasn't the bird's doing.
>>1957440By midnight, the lot of you have completely wrecked the place. Goblins lay scattered everywhere and you're pretty sure the Goblin King is passed out on the toilet. Before you drift off to sleep, you mentally check the crystal workshop off your list.
>>1957444Dawn comes and everyone shakes off their post-party stupor to help with the final reassembly task required before you can return home: the remounting of the portal disk. You know it's inert now, but it still feels a little weird to just carry it around like an oversized frisbee.
>>1957448Once the portal is in place, you return the Goblin King's amulet to its proper spike. The portal surges back to life, but no nightmare spawn of Galidor pops out of it, nor does the Archon's severed head. You wonder what he's up to in the Abyss of Galidor. Whatever it is, you hope it's really unpleasant.
>>1957451Everyone gathers round the portal to see you and Sophie off.E: "I suppose this is goodbye, then."SL: "You sure you don't want to stay another day?"CC: "Yeah, we could have another party! Or two! Or three!OC: "I'm sorry to see you two go, but I'm glad you're finally able to return home."GF: "It was an honor to fight alongside you, Lady Emily."BC: "Come back and visit sometime! I'll show you all my beetles!"The Goblin King turns to you and smiles.GK: "I have a feeling we'll meet again someday. Till that day comes, take care, Emily Jones. You'll always be welcome here."E: "Thank you, everyone. I will return, I promise."And with that, you open the Tome of Exposition.
>>1957455E: "Duc me domum, via ruralis."Ad locum in quo insum.Virginia Occidentalis, mater montis.Duc me domum, via ruralis.
>>1957458It's time to go home.
>>1957463Thanks for playing!
I had a lot of fun hosting this quest, and it turned out very differently from what I expected going in. I'm heading to bed at the moment, but I'd be happy to answer any questions, such as this one from the last thread:>>1955449The Archon is a Desk Pal (pic related) from sometime in the early 2000s, when Lego was producing a lot of weird Lifestyle Products (not to say that they've stopped, though). It was meant to hold stationery, a purpose which it served for all of maybe a week tops before spending the subsequent 10+ years as a monstrous bigfig. I randomly happened to glance at it while I was looking for a suitable "ancient god of Elfland", and so it became the Archon of Lifestyle Products. A happy coincidence!
This was stunning. Your unbelievably high narrator skills and your endless imagination made all of this of the best things I've ever seen on the internet. You have done AMAZING work and you made the characters feel so relatable and... I don't even know how to describe this. We love you, anon, and the characters you created. ___________Though there was no mecha fights. :c
Thank you Funtrelves! This was spectacular. Sort of makes me wish I didn't live on the east coast just so I could participate more.I can't wait for the next thing you put together :)
This was fun! I hope there will be another quest in the near future.
>>1957482This quest was fantastic in the true sense of the word! When you first mentioned Godt last thread, I wondered if it was intentional or just a typo, but dat lore!
>>1957482Sorry to bombard you with questions, but here they are:>Was the Archon always intended to be a bad guy? >Do you have any plans to make more of these quests in the future?>Have you considered writing as a job? This was brilliantly put together.>How long, from conception to ending, did this project take?>Were you paid by Lego to do this? I'm certainly going to have to pick up Emily, her sister and a few of the goblins after playing this...
Thanks for the quest, it was really fun!>>1957482Could be crusade to the Leg Slemt possible in the future? butterflies would be pleased[\spoiler]
>>1957913>Was the Archon always intended to be a bad guy?The quest began with very little planning beyond what's in the prologue, so many details such as the Archon popped up spontaneously. After introducing him, I thought the players might actually go through with sacrificing the Goblin King to him without a fight. Over time, though, it became increasingly clear that a showdown with the Archon would be inevitable, and I'm glad it worked out that way.>Do you have any plans to make more of these quests in the future?Yes, I have several ideas for future quests, the most fully formed of which is a dungeon crawl (pic related), akin to Funtron. I'd like to host the next quest before the year's end, or in January, depending on how some school matters pan out.>Have you considered writing as a job? This was brilliantly put together.Thanks! Writing/editing is my field of study, and I hope to make a job of it. If in the future you stumble across a weird, jokey novel full of puns and gratuitous Latin, I suppose you'll know where it came from.>How long, from conception to ending, did this project take?The idea for the quest came while I was building the fortress Friday morning. I thought it'd be fun to see what sort of story could be cobbled together using only the scenario provided by the sets. When the fortress was done, I spent the next six or so hours writing the prologue and taking the corresponding pictures, and then posted the thread. Beginning to end, this quest took about 5.5 days.>Were you paid by Lego to do this? I'm certainly going to have to pick up Emily, her sister and a few of the goblins after playing this...I wish! Though on the other hand, I'm not sure Lego would take too kindly to the swearing, alcohol, and rude commentary on some of their product lines...>>1958004I'd love to do more with Leg Slemt and that whole mythology in the future, although first I might need to buy some Galidor.
>>1958527Thank you for the response. I look forward to the dungeon crawl game!
>>1958527I lurked the whole time, and really enjoyed this adventure. Thanks, author! I'd love for you to re-name ALL the goblins (I have Barblin and he wasn't featured in this adventure). Looking forward to more adventures in Elfland, or the dungeon crawl.Also shoutout to the dice which seemed to roll an awful lot of 1s... I think the fails made this quest even better. I wish I were as graceful as Emily.
>>1959362oh my godI love itAlso, you can fit minifig hats on minidoll heads?
>>1960992>Also, you can fit minifig hats on minidoll heads?Yes, minidoll hair and minifig hair/ headgear are interchangeable.
>>1959253He looks like a Pumpkin Pie to me. Not sure yet about the other four, though. Regarding the fails, I've found that failure is usually more interesting than outright success. It tends to take the story in new, unexpected directions, and there's a lot of fun to be had trying to work your way out of the messes you wind up in.
Before this thread is archived, I just want to say again how much I enjoyed this!