Welp we are in a pickle, for one we dont exactly know how to beat this fucking pile of warp slime we call Tzeentch but he also seems to be at an impasse, well he does only have two cards left so maybe we can find a way to get out of this.on the other hand we have no idea what an ultragame is so maybe we should ask the clown friend about that.actually we should have asked him how to win with this deck.welcome to guardsman quest.
alright quick and dirty, this quest is not for die hard lovers of cannon since fun and shenanigans beat cannon for the most part. Though I will accept info about the warhammer 40k universe general rule of thumb is fun is king hereHere is the link to the Doc archive https://docs.google.com/document/d/1N6DV3ou3h5MO0TZi61pc9jGoMBA4p3S4fJ0rCI6qooM/edit?usp=sharinghere is a link to the character's stats https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1VEdRRmqRN2wb661ea1Bz2iXQwqQl2JVgl1OdrmHk3Tk/edit?usp=sharing
you sigh and set the pot on the field, alright we need to know what this fucker has. "alright slime I place down Exodia the forbidden on the field." you then laugh at the god "so Tzeentch how will you win now?""what do you mean mortal?""I mean how will you win considering that in two turns you will be out of cards and you will loose.""really? you think so?""I know so. so throw your best at me monster!""very well then mortal. do you end your turn?""yes.""good on my turn I activate jar of Avarice, I put five cards from my graveyard into my deck and guess what I'm picking!""YOU FIEND!""YES THOSE MAGICAL EXPLOSIONS YOU TOOK FROM ME AS WELL AS TWO POTS OF GREED!""Impossible how could I have overloo.... you know what fuck you. I activate jar of greed and put five cards into my deck.""cute.""fuck you," you swiftly grab the exodia pieces you lost as well as the pots. alright lets hope we can get there. you suddenly notice that the harpy's feather duster just glowed and now it's a solemn judgement, the fuck "clown?""hay T tried to cheat, I dont see why I cant.""thanks." you smile as you draw your two cards(give me a 1d100 roll, this is a luck roll to see what you get form the deck.)
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>1773107
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>1773107Are the previous threads archived?
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>1773107
>>1774812Come On Heart of the Eldar!
>>1774289 they are and they are in the google doc at the top of the page.On other news you managed to just barely beat the luck break point so glory is to you. Writing
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>1775169Rolling for what could have been
You hold your breath as you draw the last two cards out of your deck, wait is that another piece of exodia and a pot? you throw down the pot and draw the last piece of exodia and a reborn the monster. "alright monster I play down another piece of exodia. Now I attack with these peices!""hmmmmm I would think that would be dangerous but I'm going to win anyways sooooo who do you hit the pot with.""the one that kills it.""fine fine I take 700 damage in total bringing me to 7300 life points. are you done yet?""yes foul monster.""alright I play down one card face down and CARD DESTRUCTION!" he flips a card destruction from his hand blowing up all his cards and sending your hand to the graveyard."wait I thought you called the pots and the explosions.""I may or may not have lied.""wait isn't that against the rules?""what are rules really?""lets find out, do you end your turn?" you draw your cards... oh The Legendary Exodia Incarnate, Contract with Exodia, and Exodia Necross, and Ookazi.... ok."yes.""alright my turn starts.""I activate magical explosion.""I activate Solemn Judgement.""well then dar.... wait where I my dark deal?!""If you dont have it then you must have not played it.""no I am sure I had one of those and not a harpy's feather duster.... unless someone.... WAIT WHERE IS CREED!""get on with the game monster." you hear the clown chuckle in the back of your mind, welp at least he is having fun."fine, you win this time mortal but remember I still have two more explosions ready to go."You take one of the weaker piece of exodia on your field and tribute it to The Legendary Exodia Incarnate "Know the face of your doom I SUMMON THE LEGENDARY EXODIA INCARNATE!""I activate Torrential tribute and destroy all your creatures.... wait why is that exodia still there?""read the card once in a while card effects cant touch it.""oh.... I really need to brush up on my bad cards so I stop doing stupid shit like this.""I also cast Contract with Exodia and play Exodia Necross and I knock you to lethal with Ookazi.""oh shit.""punch him." the two Exodias begin pummeling the chaos god as you watch until all the cards disappear and Tzeentch is back in his male business suit form with a bloody nose"Alright when I find out how you cheated I will drag you back here for a rematch human.""I won the game so what happens to the looser of an ultra game?""sent to ultramar... oh shit." suddenly the warp's 'sky' is ripped open and a massive blue space marine hand reaches down and drags Tzeentch though the rip and then it closes... eh they will be fine.suddenly the room goes dark and you open your eyes to realize you are in a medical bay "ouch" you groan as your entire body feels like to just got run over.(cont)
> get up and out, lets see if we can find anyone to tell us what is going on (wp, tgh, fel)> call out for a nurse, time to get the tubes and wires out of you and a status update (fel)> get up and leave the room, you will find Mirasi, Terisa, and Kali on your damned own (wp, Tgh, per)> write-in
>>1775247> call out for a nurse, time to get the tubes and wires out of you and a status update (fel)While we're laying there ask Emps and the Clown if anyone else plays that game because seriously...
>>1775245> call out for a nurse, time to get the tubes and wires out of you and a status update (fel
Alright give me a 1d100 vs 50
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>1777949
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>1777949
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>1777949
Ding Ding Ding, we got a win. writing.
You lie there and relax your body "Nurse if you are out there I'm awake.""right, right give me a second." you hear the nurse shout back a few seconds later the hospitaller pulls back the cloth "wow, I thought you died last night.""I'm tough to kill." you state as the nurse begins unhooking you from the monitoring devices "I need a status update.""not in that state you don't.""are you questioning an Inquisitor?"The hospitaller gulps "n-no I'm not, currently you are still on Fenksworld and your team is alive. the entire planet has been put on lock down as when you were asleep there were several uprisings. I have been giving your status to a 'Phe'nia' who claims to be your throne agent.""alright anything else." you wince as a needle is pulled and stings on the way out"A girl visited you every day you were out, called herself Thera. She had all the required clearances to see you. Also I could not fix the scarring on your arm."you look down at your arm and see lightning like scar tissue extending from the fingertips down to the elbow. Then the first part of what she said registered, Thera was here for fucks sake. also how long were you out?"how long?""two days. though have you been though any genetic enhancements? your recovery time from these wounds was abnormal.""That is a need to know basis. Before you ask you dont need to know."you get up and get dressed quickly, now then what to do.> vox up Phe'nia, ask her what she learned while you were out. Also ask her it see what is happening on ultramar.> Find your group and head out, you need to know if these sudden uprisings were chaos based and if so we need to end them.> see if you can find Thera, then punch her. She needs to learn to stay the fuck away from us.> write-in
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>1778671> Find your group and head out, you need to know if these sudden uprisings were chaos based and if so we need to end them.
>>1778671>vox up Phe'nia, ask her what she learned while you were out. Also ask her it see what is happening on ultramar.Kek
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>1778671> Find your group and head out, you need to know if these sudden uprisings were chaos based and if so we need to end them.
2 got it so writing
You give the Hispitaller one last look to insure she knew if she spilled the beans on your status to anyone else she was a dead woman before exiting.You storm down the halls of the building looking quickly for signs of Mirasi or Terisa. eventually you come across Kali "Kali!""Simun! holy shit I thought you were dead.""again I don't die easy, where are Mirasi and Terisa?""Currently they are directing the ordo tempestus troops that have been deployed on the planet from the ordo Hereticus, also someone named Markal has arrived and is asking for you personally.""where.""not now, you just recovered from injuries that would kill a spacemarine don't push yourself."> "that was not a request Kali, that was an order." (fel)> "Fine but I expect you to have some other information for me to chew threw as I wait"> just nod and keep walking, lets find Mirasi and Terisa then decide what to do from there (perx2)> write-in
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>1779284> "that was not a request Kali, that was an order." (fel)
alright hold the rolls until I give the dc
>>1779355Lucky i burned that critPls be kindAlso mybad came from a differnt quest that dose it at the same time
tis fine, you managed to burn Tzeentch's revenge but he never just leaves it at one attempt
>>1779284> "that was not a request Kali, that was an order." (fel)
alright 1 got it so give me the roll 1d100 vs 35
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>1780050
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>1780050
we got a victory, congrats you out brass ballsed your old commissar. writing
You look at Kali straight in the eye "That was not a request Kali, That was an order."there is a few tense seconds as you wait for her response, her face switches from annoyed to ready to punch you several times before she deflates "alright, alright if you want to put your life in danger again after having several of your organs rupture and actual burns on the inside of your body that is your choice. Markal is down in my old base.""old?""remember the field promotion you gave me? ya that stuck it seems.""oh." oh great you got another person stuck with the shitty job of having to deal with Emperor damned demons, eh could have picked a worse person than kali considering she enjoys punching non-human things in the face. "alright so you are taking me there pronto."you and kali leave the building and get in a small civilian vehicle. as you are riding though the city you note that the place looked like fucking hell. burnt buildings and corpses are seen quite frequently as well as you seeing several times imperial guardsmen executing civilians at the command of a men and women in Ordo Hereticus uniforms.as you arrive at the building where Markal is you hear your vox go off, guess they left it in your jacket "hello?""it's me" Phe'nia's voice comes though hushed "is this a good time?""report agent""alright so before you do anything I noted a massive warp signature on the planet until a few moments ago. I dont want to freak you out but the damned thing nearly knocked me out when it showed up so we may be dealing with a demon prince or something bigger.""right, don't worry about it I'll explain later.""no you will explain now!""sorry we are breaking up, I'll get back to you when we have better connection.""Bull" -click- you shut off your vox, you are not going to tell her over a vox that you just played a chaos god in a children's card game"what was that?" Kali asks an eyebrow raised"nothing now then,"> go in bombastic, big shout out to Markal and you live and he better have some alcohol for you.> enter the building like a normal person and then head to where Markal is, if he is in here there probably is a reason he is in essentially a bunker> sneak into the building and sneak to Markal's position, something is a bit funny here since didn't the Ordo heads say he would never be allowed to leave the base? (agx2, per, wp)> write-in
>>1780549>> go in bombastic, big shout out to Markal and you live and he better have some alcohol for you.
>>1780549> write-inGo in like a normal person but have them not tell him we've arrived, just move along step by step being guided until we're behind him with a bottle of whisky and two glasses
Alright I'm back and if we don't get a vote in 10 min RNGesus takes the wheel.
Rolled 2 (1d2)alright 1 for >>1780605 2 for >>1781003 rollin
alright 4 incurs a agx2, fel roll so give me a 3d100 vs 47, 27, 30
Rolled 4, 57, 36 = 97 (3d100)>>1794394Lower is better right?
Rolled 62, 66, 70 = 198 (3d100)>>1794394