Previous threads:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Cyberpunk+DemonslayerLast time, Aisha crossed some lines. Her sister then proceeded to drive right over those lines in a Bugatti with no signs of slowing down, testing the limits of Kasai's sanity. Aisha then got married and managed not to faint.Currently, you're looking for Kasai in the crowd of guests. Husband and wife should be together so people can pester them, after all.
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>1699468For finding Kasai.Lets hope Crystal didn't kidnap him.
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>1699554Rolling
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>1699554>>1699587Kek
>>1697831Where IS Kasai..?Ah. There, getting accosted by Corporal Briggs. Used to serve with Krystal, took up big game hunting after the war."...and did I ever tell you about that absolutely monstrous mole that dug straight through our campsite?""Yes, I believe so, sir."About six times, in fact... he's probably thinking."Ah! And here's the lovely bride!" the corporal exclaims."Hello." you do your best to give him a nice smile."Yes, the demigod-succubus Aisha. There's been much fuss over you in the biological community, you know! There have been offers to your mother-in-law to have you autopsied after death!""...thanks for that news. I was unaware.""Yes, though she said proper approval would have to go through your parents... are they here?"He looks around."No, they couldn't attend... publicity issues.""Ah. I was hoping I could meet Alagos in this life."Kasai puts an arm around your shoulder."Well, we've taken enough of your time. I'm sure the other guests would like to see us.""Oh, don't let me keep you. Make sure you speak to your father about that other matter, Aisha!""I'll be sure to!"Not."Whew... I thought he was gonna keep me there all day.""Oh, Kasai. That's just what happens when older people want to have a talk."You make your way toward the cake. May as well have a slice--Commotion breaks out near the chapel's entrance. An all-too-familiar spiked form makes its way through the guests.The hell is Calaron doing here? Well, you have a grenade under your skirt, he's not causing any harm today.>Give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he isn't here to make trouble.>Be wary. You don't think he'd ruin a wedding, but...>Inform Krystal. She's got this one.>Other.
>>1699624Sad thing is, i joined in pretty late so i don't know who he is>Give him the benefit of the doubt. You don't think he would ruin a wedding, but...
>>1699703 (he's head of the Order of Ruin. Ruin's the god of fire, likes spikes, hates your dad)You watch Calaron as he moves around the chapel. He seems to be making a beeline for Krystal.She looks up as he approaches."Oh, hi. Look, can we do this outside, at least?"Calaron looks disdainfully at her."I'm not here for you."He looks at Tsuyoi, standing slightly behind her."You're this woman's wife?"She nods hesitantly, reaching for something behind her back."Well!"Calaron grasps Tsuyoi's hand and shakes it."Anyone who scares 'the Imperator' is a friend, regardless of allegiance! By the way..."He digs around and pulls a black book out of his pocket. Krystal pales at the sight of it."If she's giving you trouble, take a look through this...""AHAHAHA MY BOOK OF PERFECTLY NORMAL POLYAMOROUS LOVERS I'LL BE TAKING THAT"Krystal snatches it from Calaron's hand. What could be in there..? The Head Marshal of the Order of Ruin walks up to you."And I suppose... congratulations. I hope whichever one of you is taking the office of Imperator can handle a few beatings."Calaron slaps you on the shoulder and leaves the chapel. You see Dad visibly sigh and lower his Gauss gun."Krystal, what's in that book?" Tsuyoi asks."N-nothing. Just people I've had sex with besides you.""Oh, if you're saying that it must be BAAAD. Very well, then! Open it up.""That really isn't necessary...">Do it!>I'll be an impartial party. Tsuyoi, I'll tell you if the contents are really bad. Otherwise, Krystal's pride will be saved.>*ahem* please don't spoil the occasion...>Other.
>>1699624>>Give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he isn't here to make trouble.Maby he wants to make googly eyes at Krystal.
>>1699926Dangnabit>>1699926>>I'll be an impartial party. Tsuyoi, I'll tell you if the contents are really bad. Otherwise, Krystal's pride will be saved.
>>1699926>*ahem*please don't spoil the occasion... Kasai is already pretty mentally banged up.
>>1699934 (well, the coin flip has spoken)"That sounds reasonable." Tsuyoi says.They're drawing a crowd now. The public doesn't have much dirt on their Imperator, due to her habit of burning evidence and murdering witnesses. Usually with good reason.Krystal's eye twitches, and she reluctantly hands you the book."Don't fuck me on this, Aisha..."You open it up (away from prying eyes) and skim through the contents.This... is a romance novel. A really sappy one, too. Krystal knows what this is, so Calaron didn't just pull it out of his ass! And you'd already received a wedding present from her! What's she doing with this!?...does she like this kinda thing? You wouldn't think her the type, but that reaction...>Krystal, is this a ROMANCE NOVEL?>Uh... heh. To each her own, I guess. Pretty interesting book, this.>Hand it back and remain silent.>Other.
>>1700147>"Thank you for the wedding gift!">Romance is in the air! >LETS DANCE!
>>1700300The musicians take that as their cue. Krystal happily lets you take the book and starts dancing with Tsuyoi.You smile up at Kasai."Am I stepping on your toes?""Nope. It's just like footwork training, y'know? One-two-three, one-two-three..."...Kasai lowers you to the ground and shuts the door."Okay... they're gone, right?"He peeks out the window. Several guests are still at the front door."Hey, give them privacy, you fucks!"Krystal clears everyone out. Good going.You put her book on a shelf and get the cricks out of your neck. At least it was over..."Kasai, you look cute in a suit."You walk up and give him a hug."You think so?"He kisses oh."Yep. I think I'll take a bath... meet me upstairs in... thirty minutes."He raises an eyebrow."I'll look forward to it."You eventually get out of your dress and into the bathtub. Aaaaaaaaaah... you could just fall asleep in here, but this isn't the time. Next on the agenda is a passionate night of lovemaking.You run upstairs (no peeking, Kasai!), get changed, light all the candles, etc. etc.There's a bottle of wine on the nightstand, along with two glasses. You pull open the drawer below it and take a long look at the bottle inside.Love potion. Ash must've left it for you...>Spike your drinks with it.>Just normal wine for now.>No alcohol today. You want to remember all of this.>Other.
>>1700428>>Just normal wine for now.>maybe the potion with a later snack to keep Kasai's stamina up... hm.
>>1700676>>1700817ThirdingBut not too much, Gotta stay sober enough to remember
>>1700676You fill the glasses up about halfway, make sure your lipstick is on, and lie down in bed. You'd gotten some new lingerie just for this purpose. White, to keep with the wedding theme. There were some panties and a bra, but you wouldn't be needing them today. Kasai comes up a few minutes later."Hey there... why don't you get out of that suit? It's probably really stuffy."You help him out of it before sitting down on the bed again. You take your glass and clink it against Kasai's."Bottoms up."You drink. This was really good stuff. You can already feel your few inhibitions start to disappear."Aisha..."You start out with some kissing and rubbing each other's bodies. By the time you eventually lie down and let Kasai crawl over you, your pussy's gotten all red and swollen."I've had enough foreplay. Go on."Kasai slides his cock inside you. When it reaches its maximum depth, you feel your insides pulse."...did you just come?""I can keep going..."He shrugs and starts thrusting away. You gasp and wrap your arms around his back."Gaaaaah!"He softly bites your ear as you squirm helplessly under his weight. After about thirty minutes and several orgasms, he gets off of you."Whoa... let me clean that up for you, sweetie. Can you mix some of that other bottle with the wine?"Kasai does as you ask. You make sure to get every last drop of semen off his cock."Cheers."You guzzle your glasses again. Kasai sets his down and immediately goes for you."Oh, so forceful! Do it more!"...Uuuuuuuuh?You sit up and wince at the sunlight streaming through the window. Being groggy and hung over sucks... what's this other feeling? It's like your pussy is... sore?Huh. That doesn't usually happen. Must've done it a LOT last night... good.You look down to see your husband snoring next to you. Such a cutie. You look at the simple gold ring on his finger and smile.>Give him a pillow.>Go make him some breakfast.>Stay here until he's woken up.>Other.
>>1700940>Make breakfast. Gotta keep hubbys strength up!
>>1700940>>Go make him some breakfast.Then plot to make world safe for the baby.
>>1701003>>1701053You get up, wash yourself off, put on an apron and start cooking."Pancakes sound good... I think we have some sausages around here, too."You put a pot of coffee on the stove as you mix the batter. The smell of coffee is much better than the taste, in your opinion."Alright, let's get you cooked up..."You pour some batter in a pan and wait (It's done when the bubbles start popping, Dad taught you that)....should you flip it?Yeah!You grab the pan handle and flip the half-finished pancake into the air. It soars neatly onto the stove's burner and starts smoldering."Ah, dammit."You clean it up and get to work on making a new one."You're cute when you talk to yourself.""K-Kasai! How long have you been here..?""Since you started. Felt you leave earlier."He pours himself some coffee and drinks it straight away. Well, he breathes fire. Shouldn't have problems with his food or drink."Ah, that's good..."You stand next to each other in silence.Making the world safe. Yep. Not much you can do physically... even if the big belly and medical concerns weren't an issue, you'd still be taking the fetus INTO danger, which sort of ruins the point...Kasai could do it for you. But if--nonononono don't think about that EVER. He can't die, you just got married!What would you need to do to make the world safer anyway?...for starters, there's that bitch sister of Krystal's.Yeah...She's probably the main concern. Unknown motives, keen dislike for the Order, dabbles in the unholiest of magics. She has to go, and you've got a map pinpointing her location...>Send the map to Krystal. She'd happily jump at the chance.>Do some more plotting before taking action.>Sweetie, could you kill the god of death for me?>Other.
>>1701196>>Do some more plotting before taking action.Take stock of supplies and resources.Both personal and that of the Order of Alagos.
>>1701196This>>1701219Then >Send the map to Krystal. She'd happily jump at the chance.
>>1701219The house has a good variety of weapons...You place some pancakes on a plate and sit down at the table.You'd built a cache in the basement for protection. The most destructive object would be the C4 charges. If necessary, you could fortify the house and have enough ammo to last for a good while.Then there's Kasai, who's pretty much a living, flying, flamethrower tank. Still, the two of you could only carry so many small arms.The Order has much better equipment all around, as well as more personnel. Armor, weapons, artillery, vehicles both prototype and mass-produced. Krystal had mentioned a 'Project Valkyrie' a few months ago, which will probably involve airborne troop carriers. I mean, she helped make a fortress fly, why not some smaller things?Of course, her sister had quite a few resources as well. Religious zealots, powerful magics, some of the most advanced tech this planet has ever seen, the aforementioned flying fortress, those Void Knights who had attacked you, and a dragon of her own. The one that killed the King, no less.It would be a close fight... wait, no. You forgot the most important resource the Order has!Bravery and friendship!No, fuck the power of love, they've got Dad on their side! All those cultists have is a long-dead god!"Uh, Aisha? You okay? You're smiling weirdly..."You look up at Kasai."Oh, just thinking about the future."...Knock-knock!"Fuck!"You and Kasai scramble to find some clothes. You hurriedly put on a robe and open the door."Yes, who is it?"...Ah, godsdammit--"Congratulations on your marriage."Fucking shit, this guy again. What does he even want!? What's his goal?! Is he just fucking with you for giggles!?!!!?!????>What is it.>Close the door in his face.>Double-barreled shotgun.>Other.
>>1701286Who? >What is it.
>>1701286>>What is it.Looks like someone has a crush on Krystal.
>>1701293 (guy named Demon. He tried to blow everything up but got banished to the shadow realm and now he just kinda fucks with people)"I'm simply here to deliver your wedding present."He hands you an ancient tome covered in prayer seals and 18+ stickers."I'll be off. Wouldn't want to intrude."He melts into a nearby shadow and disappears."Okay, we're burning this."You shut the door and pause."Wait, what if this contains some ancient evil? Burning it might be a bad idea. Maybe we should read--okay, THAT is definitely a bad idea."You set it down on the table and pace worriedly."Ohhhhhh what the fuck...""Aisha?"You look up. Kasai's reading the book, damn it."It says what we're saying.""What the hell do you mean?"You step over to him and look at the book's contents."Impossible..." said Aisha, staring at the book in shock."Impossible..." you say, staring at the book in shock."Wha--hey! Don't go playing tricks on me, you stupid book!"The book of Faciem Tempestus, of course, did not answer. How could it? It had no tongue. If it had, however, it may have chastised Aisha for her attitude toward a relic of Altius Deus."This thing has an attitude...">Read the end!>Go forward a little. Might as well see if anyone else is gonna come knocking.>Go back. What the hell is this book..?>BURN IT!>Other.
>>1701382>>Go back. What the hell is this book..?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzO4BSTnkgg
>>1701382>Go forward a little.
>>1701397"Go forward.""Sure thing."Kasai flips the page.The assassin crept along the edge of the house, pressing one ear to the wall. He could not fail in the mission his superior had given.A bad step caused the soil outside to scrape along a cobblestone."Did you hear that?" a male asked inside the house."It's that assassin!" a female replied.The man paused. How could they know? No matter. He would surprise them.He climbed swiftly and silently to the second floor. Now, to open this window--"NINJAS!"The man's life was cut short by the blast of a double-barreled shotgun. Aisha snatched his Holy Symbol before the body toppled to the earth...You hold the ninja's Holy Symbol at arm's length. The thing's all covered in blood, but the gross part is that it belongs to the Cult of Bôr, those idiotic fucks that worshipped a dead god. And the guys you were just planning on attacking."Looks like that book came in handy." Kasai says."Nah. We would've gotten this guy regardless.">Contact Krystal ASAP.>Go read the book some more.>Do something about that body. The smell will ruin your honeymoon!>Other.
>>1702802>>Contact Krystal ASAP.And maby send that book to dad.
>>1702802This>>1703476And >Do something about that body. The smell will ruin your honeymoon!
>>1703587You call her up on the codec."Krystal!""Aisha, this had better be real fucking good.""Krystal, come back to bed soon, okay?""Ah... okay, I'm sending you that map that shows where your sister is.""Well, about time! Goddammit, it's been weeks! I'll prepare the strike force today, tell Kasai he isn't obliged to come for this one.""Roger that. By the way, a ninja from their cult attacked us this morning.""Really? Well, I'll make sure some guards pass by from time to time. They shouldn't mind any noises. Peace."Krystal turns off her codec. You get dressed and head outside to clean up that assassin...."Hello, Aisha!"Legs bites into the headless Imp and chews thoughtfully."H-hi, Legs... make sure you clean everything up. Preferably in like, five minutes.""Oh! Legs will save this one for later."She slings the body over her shoulder and starts cleaning up the blood and gore....well, she's got that taken care of.You quickly head back inside and rub your head. What were you forgetting... ah, yes.A quick twist of your magic ring and you have a doorway straight to your father's castle. He's currently reading an issue of The Economist hidden behind an erotic doujin."Aisha! To what do I owe the pleasure?""I have an eldritch tome that details my past, present, and future. It needs to be in slightly more responsible hands.""Ah. Another one. Pris, could you take this one to the vault? Here, let me untie your hands..."You hand the book to your nanny/family slave. She appears to be wearing nothing but a rope harness."Anything else you need?""Nope. Thanks, Dad.""Have fun on your honeymoon! I'd offer to lend you the poolhouse for a few months, but it seems that would be against 'The Rules'."Mom leans through the portal, surprising you with a hug."Oh, my daughter is having such a romantic tiiiiiiime!""Sasha, honey, please. I'd rather you not get splinched when Aisha's ring runs out of energy."Mom sniffs and draws back."I know. Sorry.""Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad."Kasai waves awkwardly."Uh... bye.""YOU BETTER BE TREATING HER RIGHT--"The portal closes. Kasai sighs in relief."In-laws.""Yours are much friendlier than mine. You going with that strike team?""Nah. They can handle it. Besides, I'm supposed to be on my honeymoon.">Work on the house.>Get back to what you were doing last night.>Budgeting time! (For those who like their realism. If any actually follow this quest)>Other.
>>1703793 (I fucking called it)"Well, it's time to get out budget out of the way!"You put on some glasses and sit down at the table. Kasai blinks in surprise."Do I look cute in these?""Y-yeah...""Maybe I should wear them more often. Anyway..."You steeple your fingers."What's your income, Kasai?""Uhh... ₩1000 a week.""Oh...""What's yours?"You shift uncomfortably in your seat."₩100."Kasai looks taken aback."What!? That's barely enough for one person!""I just polish armor... Krystal hasn't updated it to account for risk of life."He shakes his head."I'll have to talk to her about that.""Fucking wage gap...""Hey, Mom's making millions just selling contracts for shitty firearms. There's an income imbalance if I ever saw one.""Kasai, remember what Krystal said about questioning the system."..."Okay, make sure we have enough for basic needs, then save the rest. Unless we REALLY want something good.""Sounds great."You and Kasai kiss and hold each other."It's about lunchtime. What do you want?">You.>Fine dining.>Just something filling at a café.>Other.
>>1703917>How about some Chicken Bell or T.G.I.Saturday?
>>1703961 >not Cluckin' Bell"Uhh... we can go get some crispy potatoes with rosemary and garlic butter.""Oh, that sounds nice!"..."Mmm, tasty."You finish chewing your slice of potato and try some chicken. Weird things, those chickens. They're almost twice as tall as a normal person and would make excellent mounts if they weren't absolutely fucking retarded. The important thing is that they feed WAY more people than Krystal's world, or so she claims.Kasai, of course, tears into his meat like a wild animal. Well, he isn't getting stuff everywhere or snarling, but he seems a little too enthusiastic about it. Must be his instincts."You like the food, Aisha?""Yep! It's pretty good!"You take a sip of the red-colored drink you had been provided with. Some kind of punch, tastes like fruit.>Comment on the funny hats the employees wear.>Finish up and get home. Now that you're nice and full, there's a VERY romantic afternoon ahead of you.>Kasai, I'm gonna go run an errand. Meet up with you later! (Visit Ash)>Other.
>>1705022>>Kasai, I'm gonna go run an errand. Meet up with you later! (Visit Ash)
>>1705022I thought about it lol>Comment on the funny hats the employees wear. >Finish up and get home. Now that you're nice and full, there's a VERY romantic afternoon ahead of you.
>>1705030>>1705032HmmThis >>1705032We can make him fall asleep then we go visit Ash
>>1705036"So, Kasai... I think we should pick up where we left off last night..."..."YEAH! HARDER!"You grip the bedsheets as Kasai cums inside you. He flops down on the bed."Hah... sorry, Aisha. Can't keep up today... I need a nap."You smile and put his head on your lap."Aww. You did good, I'm proud of you.""Thanks..."Kasai falls asleep. You gently set his head down on the pillow and get up.Man, gotta love vitality-sapping powers.In case he wakes up while you're gone, you leave him a note. 'Went to run an errand, be back soon! <3'...As you enter the dingy tavern, the orc passing you on the way out gives you one of 'those' looks. From his attitude, you'd guess he just met Ash.Fortunately, he makes no move to accost you. Maybe it's the Order's symbol around your neck, but a more likely possibility would be the gun on your belt.You knock a staccato rhythm on the door to Ash's room and wait....oh shit, what if she changed taverns? Please don't be a stranger...The door opens. Ash looks at you in surprise."Oh. Come in."You sit down on a rickety chair in the corner. The bed doesn't exactly look sanitary at the moment."How's it been going, Ash?"She shrugs."Been making a decent amount. I'm thinking about moving... the guys around here seem like they'd rather just rape me nonstop than pay. Not that it would be an issue, I'd just take their souls after I've had my fun.">How much do you make?>Have you had many problems with diseases?>I'll look around the Merchant Ward for a good place. Help you get started on your brothel.>Other.
>>1705170>How much do you make? You're not starving are you? >Any trouble with... You know, diseases..?
>>1705176"Oh, I make about ₩500 a day if I'm lucky."JUSTKrystal's paying you less than a whore. You're going to have a serious talk with her--wait, it's Gareth that does finances! The hell, you thought you were friends!"And diseases... well, I got a client with SEVERE Crotch-Rot.""Ewwwww. It didn't break off inside, did it?""EWWWWW, NO! But it's been a few days and I'm still fine, so... looks like I'm immune.""Well, duh. Grandpa Satan didn't want us being useless because of some stupid diseases.""Weren't you the one who told me to avoid any guys with Crotch-Rot?""You might be immune, but that doesn't mean you can just ignore hygeine. Besides, it might break off--""I get the point."You mull over what you've learned. 500 Wisps a day would definitely pay for a shitty room and meals. Ash probably has some decent savings."Of course, all the other whores are giving me dirty looks." she comments. "Not like I care. They've got vaginas you could crawl through, of course they're at a disadvantage."You do your absolute best not to envision Ash's rather colorful statement.>Get females often?>Have you taken any souls? I'm sure some lowlife has come around at some point.>I should leave, Kasai's probably gonna wake up soon.>Other.
>>1705254>Get females often? Any rapey souls?
>>1705264And then this.>I'll look around the Merchant Ward for a good place. Help you get started on your brothel.
>>1705488"I've had a few. Mainly shy, curious girls. I made sure to give them a good first impression. And yeah, a few guys started talking big while fucking me. 'I'm gonna kill u and take ur money XD'. Didn't talk so big when I dragged their emaciated corpses to the bounty office. You should drain more souls, by the way. I can shoot daggers out of my hands now."You raise an eyebrow."Tempting. I'll be sure to think about it. In the meantime, I'll see if I can find a nice building you can buy for your brothel. Probably in the Merchant Ward, its close to the shipyards."Ash smiles."Aw, thank you! Feel free to stop by any time!""...it's not open yet.""Well, still."You get up."Yeah, I gotta go... Kasai's gonna wake up soon."Ash gives you a hug. Huh. She's using perfume now."Can't be helped. Bye, sis. You look cute in those glasses, by the way.""Thanks. Bye, Ash."You step outside. A scrawny man (obviously a virgin) twitches nervously."A-are you Ash..? I h-have money..."You sigh and jerk your thumb behind you."No, she's inside. Make it quick."..."I'm hoooooome!"Kasai runs down the stairs, holding a rifle and half-dressed."ANOTHER ONE!?"He runs into the kitchen and bars the door from the other side."I-its just me...""Kasaiiiii, come back to bed!"An exact copy of you swaggers down the stairs and stares at you."Who are you?""Who are YOU!?"Another one pokes her head out of the bathroom door."Who is--the hell!?""Kasai, I'm hoooooo--WHAT IS THIS!?"The four of you stare incredulously at each other."K-Kasai? What happened?""DON'T PRETEND TO BE CLUELESS!"Oh, this is gonna be so FUCKING fun.>It's me! Come on, I have the ring and everything!>Alright, bitches. I don't know who you are, but there's no way you're gonna deduce my husband! En garde! (D20)>Kasai, you wouldn't rather have fun with ALL of us~?>Other.
>>1705574>It's the real me Kasai, I left a note and everything Point out the exact location of the note regardless of if he's seen it or not. >Now let's shoot these bitches
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1705574>>Alright, bitches. I don't know who you are, but there's no way you're gonna deduce my husband! En garde! (D20)Maby we can suck their souls.
>>1705842>>1705844We could've proven we were the real one anon...
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>1705842
>>1705842Ohhhhhhh boy.>deduce my husbandI had no idea what I was trying to say there.
>>1705880Come on, try and save the roll.
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1705842Saving Throw!
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1705965>>1705842Kek
>>1705842 (Kasai's stress has risen to 100. Kasai has been afflicted with Paranoia)You lunge toward the nearest clone (wearing YOUR lingerie, no less), only for another to hold you back."Noooooo! Don't hurt ourself!""I'm the real one, you're all just clones!""You don't know that! What if you kill yourself?""WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" another shouts."I dunno, but that's a nice towel...""Where do you think you're touching!?""What? If I want to touch myself it's no concern of others!""Stop groping each other!" you order them...."Kasai--""Noooooooooo. I'm not coming out until I'm POSITIVE only the real Aisha's left. I am SICK and TIRED of being taken advantage by strange women, and I refuse to let it happen again!"You sigh and sit against the wall. Can't catch a fucking break around here..."How are we supposed to figure out which one of us is real..?" Towel-clone asks."Obviously, it's me!" Lingerie-clone replies. "I'm the one who was pleasuring my hubby!""Uh-huh. I was drawing a bath for him!"Normal-clone huffs."Hah! I left a note for him! It's right upstairs, in plain view. It was a good try, but you didn't do your research. Get out.""Hey, I left a note, too!" you exclaim.Ah, shit. Was this a temporal disturbance? Did four separate timelines collide?"Oh, that looks nice..." Lingerie-clone murmurs as she takes the other clone's towel."H-hey!""What, I'm not doing anything we haven't done before!""N-no! Stop licking there!">Take them out. (D20)>Think of something that could prove you correct... (write-in)>Doing that, are we? Well, might as well have fun. I'd be lying if I said this wasn't interesting. (Soul draining opportunity!)>Other.
>>1706658>>Doing that, are we? Well, might as well have fun. I'd be lying if I said this wasn't interesting. (Soul draining opportunity!)Shooting daggers out of our palms sounds rather cool.
>>1706666And what if they don't have a soul? Maybe that's their plan Let them go AI it while we find something to kill them with And ask them what did we talked about when we were at that one restaurant? The real one would know
>>1706739"Aha! Who remembers what we talked about at the restaurant earlier!?" you exclaim.The clones look up at you."Kasai asked if we liked the food."SHIT."Okay, just a moment, let me fetch us some tea..."You quickly head down into the armory. Angry succubi can grow claws and shit, your pistol isn't gonna cut it.Let's see... Spas-12. It'll work best in the close confines of the house."This isn't the pantry?" a semi-feminine voice growls. It's distorted, like five people trying to speak at once through a bad phone connection."No, it's the armory, for sure. Keep your voice down."You wait in front of the door. When those bitches come through...Something wraps around your neck and yanks you to the floor. The door bursts open, and two shadowy fiends enter. They hold you down, and the pressure on your neck is released."Good work, distracting her."The missing third sister steps to where you can see her and stares down at you."I'd much prefer waiting for that second soul to mature..."She crouches down and caresses your stomach."But the Benefactor was clear in his instructions. Take care of the husband, I can handle this one."Her two sisters leave. This... Void thing grabs you by the neck and hoists you in the air."You should have gone along with it... much less painful than what I'm about to do."Her grip on your throat tightens. You gasp for breath, panicking as darkness consumes your vision. No matter how hard you pull, her fingers don't budge."Gah..."As your hand scrabbles uselessly at her wrist, something triggers inside you. It feels like...Your claws shoot out and rip the fiend's arm clean off."The hell?"You take the moment of confusion to grab her face and 'pull'."What are you doing!? Cease this at once!"The fiend screeches in terror as it's form is drawn into your hand. There's something inside this thing... it resembled a soul, but it's more like someone tried to recreate it without proper knowledge.Whatever it was, it would work. You cough as the fiend disappears, desperately trying to get your throat back into decent shape.Okay... that's over...KASAI!Roll 1d20.
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>1706881Dangnabbit.
>>1706897And you wanted to fuck em. You gotta use the bigger head anon
>>1706897Want me to roll?
>>1706897You sling a few extra weapons over your shoulders and go upstairs. The fiends are attempting to break down the door to the kitchen."Hey, you two!"They turn around and snarl. Weapons made of Void appear in their hands.You hold your own hand out and focus. Glowing red daggers fly out and pin one fiend to the wall. The other lets loose with a barrage of purple light. The projectiles sting when they hit you, as well as make your atoms vibrate.Nothing went too deep... gotta avoid getting my stomach hit.>DAGGERS!!!>See if bullets work on these fucks. (D20)>Heeeey, if you surrender and tell me everything, I might let you live!>Other.
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1707227>>See if bullets work on these fucks. (D20)Bullet Hell.Night
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1707255Don't leave me alone you prick
>>1707255>>1707291As the first fiend tries to free itself, you grab the shotgun and fire at its sister. She twists herself so as to avoid your fire before retaliating before firing back. You sidestep the barrage and fire again. Then again and again and again and again and you keep missing and she keeps missing and OH GOOOOOOOODS!...You lean against the wall and take deep breaths. Fucking hell, this thing is agile.She gets tired too, it seems."Just a second...""I will eradicate you... *gasp* once I've recovered...""NOT LIKELY, BITCH!"You leap to your feet and spray the fiend with .9mm. It stares at you blankly."You missed.""FUCK!"..."OKAY, THAT'S IT!"You walk straight up to the fiend, stick the Spas-12's barrel right against her head, and pull the trigger.BLAM!The fiend's essence is absorbed into your body."Heh. Can you say 'dagger upgrade?' Speaking of which--"The other fiend melts into shadow and escapes from your daggers."SHIT NOT AGAIN OH GODS"(Rolled a twenty!~)As it nears you, your daggers shoot out of your hand in a wide blast. The fiend is reduced to vapors, which are drawn toward you again.>Kasai... please open the door now.>Call Krystal and chastise her for this lack of security.>Go upstairs, sleep forever.>Other.
>>1707391>Kasai, I killed the fake whores, you can come out now
>>1707425He opens the door and looks around."I heard. You weren't exactly being subtle about it."Kasai looks down."Uhhhhh WHAT ARE THOSE?"You follow his gaze. Purple worms are slowly trying to burrow into your flesh."AAAAAAAAAAAAAA"You quickly yank them all out and burn them."Oh gods oh gods... she shot me with worms! Who the hell does that!?""Well... her, I guess."You sit down. Kasai starts applying bandages and salve to the tiny wounds."Something's up. Why were clones of you here? And why did they turn into shadowy things?""Quick guess..? Void magic has only been used by Aunt C so far."Kasai growls."Ohhhhhhhhhh great.">Wanna complain to your mom?>It's fine. There's no more of them. Here, put your face in my chest.>I guess we should sleep. It'll be another exciting day tomorrow!>Other.
>>1707545>Let's just go to sleep okay? All this stress isn't good for the baby.
>>1707574"You're right, I guess..." Kasai sighs.You go upstairs and lie down on the bed, placing your head on Kasai's chest."...hey, aren't you supposed to be protecting me?""Uh...""Kasai! I had to fight three abominations all by myself because you were hiding in the kitchen!""I was stressed! What, was I supposed to leap out with a kitchen knife and take them on all at once?""Yeah! And then I could patch you up and be your nurse!""No offense, honey, but I think I'd prefer my nurse to give me actual medical attention once in a while."You punch him in the chest."Stop being an ass! Ah, well..."...After waking up, staring into each other's eyes, and having a short but intense 'session', you have leftover breakfast."Well, what should we do today, sweetie bunches?" you ask Kasai."Whatever you want, 'sugar muffin'.">Ooh, shopping then! (You can also take a poke around the Merchant Ward)>Good. We're gonna go complain to your mom about our experience so far.>Let's just alternate between loving each other and trying to fix this damned house. Guess the buckshot is first priority...>Other.
>>1707684>Give his mom a call about what happened and fix the house together
>>1707690"Well, I guess I'll give Krystal a call..."*knock knock*..."Okay, this is the third and final time I'm assuming this isn't an assassination attempt."You open the door and nearly piss yourself due to the immediate and unnecessarily loud DOOT that is blasted into your face."YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY THE SKELE-GRAM OF GOOD FORTUNE. MANY WISPS WILL COME TO YOU, BUT ONLY IF YOU REPLY 'THANK MR SKELTAL'."There's a fucking skeleton with a trumpet standing on your porch."T-thank mr skeltal...""EXCEPTIONAL."It digs around in its ribcage and pulls out a note."THE NORTH EVERONIAN SOCIETY OF FEMALE RESPECT EXPRESSES THEIR SADNESS THAT YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO BECOME MARRIED, AND NOT RETAIN YOUR STATUS AS THEIR 'TOP EXOTIC WAIFU'.""...okay?"The skeleton sticks the note back in his ribcage."DO YOU WISH TO SEND A SKELE-GRAM OF YOUR OWN TO AN UNSUSPECTING INDIVIDUAL? IF SO:"Name:Message:
>>1708460"THAT IS MOST UNFORTUNATE. GOOD DAY."The skeleton crumples up into a ball and disappears with a comical *pop!*..."Time to call Krystal, then."You call her up and wait."Hello--""I'm sick of your shit!""Huh?""Last night, me and Kasai were almost killed by clones of me that turned into shadow demons. You said there would be guards around here!""Hey, last you reported, there was ONE NINJA who you took out in about three seconds! And I doubt these things took the conventional way in, because I only received one sighting of you yesterday.""You're surveilling me?""Not you specifically, just everyone I know personally. I didn't post anyone near your house, if that's what has you worried.""...so, are we getting guards?""My resources are in a fucking Gordian knot of beauracracy right now, Aisha! I doubt I could spare someone to grab a fucking rag from the supply closet! Just put salt on your windowsills and pack some heat, GOD!"She hangs up."Kasai, I think your mom's stressed.""Well, she DOES have to assemble a strike team against someone who knows our strategies. We have a big disadvantage in that they know where we are. Krystal's too worried about any plans they might have to plant spies, so she's going in almost blind."You frown."Is that a good idea?"Kasai shrugs."For her, it's a way of life. For a larger force? Who knows?""Well, nothing can be done about it by worrying."You take a small metal hook and start prying buckshot out of the walls. Luckily for you, it was only a blast or two that had lodged there.Several days later...Another knock. You open the door to find an Order Paladin on your doorstep."The Imperator has requested that all warriors remaining in Diluvium gather at the castle at two o' clock."He salutes, placing a fist over his heart. You return the gesture."Sorry to be bothering you at this hour, ma'am. I'm sure you and your husband are busy.""Oh, it's no trouble."He leaves. You close the door and look at Kasai."Wonder what that's about.">Go now. Maybe you can ask Krystal about it.>Go later, it'll be better if she explains it to everyone at once,>Other.
>>1708568>Go now. Maybe you can ask Krystal about it.
>>1708580You take the tram to the castle immediately. A guard blocks entrance to the Imperator's quarters."Sorry, the Imperator has requested that nobody disturb her. She said she needed a few moments alone."You weigh your options. Either knock this guy out and get a court-martial, or just wait an hour..?"Sorry to disturb you.""No issue."...You shift your feet nervously. What the hell could be so important? There were easily hundreds of people crammed into the throne room.Finally, Krystal emerges from her quarters. Her eyes are lined with dark circles, which was to be expected. She's been commanding a siege remotely."As most of you are aware, we recently sent a strike force to eliminate the traitor forces led by my sister."The crowd mutters assent."I... am here to inform you of casualties."Well, casualties were to be expected."Of the two hundred and fifty elite soldiers we sent into the enemy camp..."Krystal pauses, blinks hard, and continues."All were killed or went missing in action... including my second--former second-in-command, Faervel Lingard."What!?"One soldier made it back here yesterday to tell us what he had witnessed before succumbing to his injuries. Details will be released at a later time."Krystal retreats to her quarters amidst the assembled paladins' shouted questions.Faervel was dead? She had been with Krystal since the beginning! She led the Order and administrated the city firsthand for five years! She couldn't just die!"What in the hell happened out there!?" one of the paladins asks, bewildered."Surely they couldn't have ALL died! The Imperator would've pulled them out if losses were too great!""They killed two hundred? We'll send two thousand next time!""VENGEANCE!"You retreat from the castle. This was obviously going to devolve into a mob... and you'd rather be long gone before that can happen. Give them a day or two to cool off.Krystal had held up pretty well, but she wasn't fooling you. This had devastated her.You'd had worse losses before, but this was the first time an entire strike team had been wiped out. Elites, no less. What's worse is that Krystal had probably trained most of them personally.Kasai doesn't say anything the whole trip home. Faervel had babysat him on numerous occasions. Hell, she had to fill in for Krystal's lacking parental skills. He must be taking it hard.Dammit, if you weren't JUST about to have symptoms, you'd walk right up to that bitch and rip her face off!>Remain silent. Bothering him would just make it worse.>...are you okay? Should we call your mom?>Kasai, promise me you won't make this about revenge.>Other.
>>1708752>Kasai, promise me you won't make this about revenge. >I can't loose the father of my baby. >Stay home living like a normal couple for a while
>>1708752>>Kasai, promise me you won't make this about revenge.Call his mom and just offer love and care, but not that kind.Develop new weapons that Crystal wouldn't think of.
>>1708791>>1708949You put a hand on your husband's arm."Kasai, don't even think about it."He looks at you in surprise."What?""Revenge. I want to make her pay, too. But we can't. Not now. There are other ways to contribute besides fighting, and we need to make sure our child is safe."He nods, then goes back to staring at the floor. You call Krystal."...yeah?""Hey. I know you're pretty bummed out--""Pfft. That's an understatement."You can hear her take a long swig of something."...we can't just lie down, though. More preparation, then we attack again. You mentioned that someone gathered intelligence."Krystal growls slightly."Yep. Base moved off as soon as the battle was over. We'll have to find it again. And what that soldier described... it wasn't Earth technology, and it definitely wasn't from here. Crystal..."You hear a crash and a frustrated cry."She's pulling resources and technology in from somewhere else, dammit! Some other universe, maybe more than one! What the hell am I supposed to do to counteract that!?"She sighs."...we can do it. Send spies to steal things, harass them, make them mad. You always said that if you can make someone mad, they'll trip up.""You didn't see it, Aisha! I did! Magical video... I had them set up some cameras at the site. It wasn't a fight, it was training for them.""Krystal. You're pissed. Use it. I'll call later, but right now you need to start acting like you always do. If you're having trouble with Faervel, or anyone else who died... call. We'll help.""...and what will you do?""I'm taking over Crystal's old lab. Maybe I can find something that will help us.""Huh... should've thought about that. Good luck.""Ave Imperator."Krystal chuckles and hangs up.About two months later...You sit at Crystal's old desk and slide a sheet of blank paper in front of you. There's a bathroom over there, plenty of food and drink... you're set."Okay..."You put a hand on your stomach. It's bulging out a little."Let's get to work. You think you can give mommy some ideas?"Don't hold back, come up with the craziest shit conceivable. There's probably been a thread on /tg/ at one point that's chock full of great ideas.
>>1709075Magic nukes.Destabilize magic matrices and let them "snap" back into place.Take bag of holding, fill it with super large amounts of water, like an ocean full, then disengage the magic while it is in the castle.Same as above but with lava.Open portal at bottom of ocean, open small pin sized portal at sea level, use water pressure to cut through stuff.
>>1709122You draw up a few schematics. Actually building this sort of thing would be hard, even without your new burden. That would have to be done by the smart people downstairs.Aside from these developments, you draw up a suggested list of equipment for anyone attempting to assault the fortress. It would have to be a small, elite force, due to the cost of equipment required. Repeating cannons aren't cheap. And for good measure, you throw in a schematic for magic-enhanced armor you found in the trash can. Why Crystal threw this out, you'll never know. It was perfectly feasible... you think...."Okay, some of my ideas, an equipment loadout, schematics dug from the trash and archival, and as many weird but useful medieval weapons Dad could remember."You lay the somewhat thin folder on Krystal's desk. She skims through it and waves you off."Looks good. Off you go.""Wha--you barely looked at it!""I have to write a letter to Cammat explaining why I think my sister should be wiped off the face of the earth and why it totally isn't a personal issue, THEN I have to remember the workings of modern firearms and draw a schematic detailed enough to produce them. Aisha, I'd say there's a fair bit on my plate at the moment.""Sorry..."She sighs and looks up at you."It's fine. I'm sure you worked hard on these.">You ever considered replacing your eye? Have it shoot lasers?>Tell me when those scouts find the fortress. All I need is one look at it's walls to develop something that'll break through.>Uh... can I requisition about... a half-ton of steel? For a project. (Dragon armor)>Other.
>>1709963>Uh... can I requisition about... a half-ton of steel? For a project.
>>1709975Definitely this.And maby bombs that can be dropped.
>>1709975>>1710109Krystal gives you a look of immense disapproval."And just what the hell do you plan on doing with it?""Well, Kasai could use some armor in his dragon form...""He already has some. Scales. I haven't tested their resistance for obvious reasons, but they'll hold up just fine. Besides, if we strapped armor onto him he'd probably end up having to transform back and not ever use it.""Oh... well, we could build a chassis to hold bombs and drop them.""That would... probably be a good idea. Let's just see if we can come up with a design that'll allow him to drop bombs without getting himself blown up. Dismissed.""Do I have permission to retrieve the ma--""We'll take care of it, I said you're dismissed."You shrug and leave Krystal's office...."I'm hoooome!"Kasai looks up."Hey. Made you some dinner.""Thanks, I'm starving."You eat up, then run to the bathroom, then sit back down at the table. Maybe a spell to store urine in a pocket dimension..? Yeah, better not. That doesn't seem like something you'd want inside you.>Do you think you'll be going? To attack the fortress, I mean.>Krystal seemed to like my plans... or maybe she was just being polite.>Hey, do you think the baby would be hurt if we had sex? Just a thought.>Other.
>>1710297>>Krystal seemed to like my plans... or maybe she was just being polite.
>>1711181Just thought of something.If we make a new "sister", we could send her in as an assassin and just steal the soul of Crystal.
>>1711181>>1711185You pitch your sister idea to Kasai. He scratches his chin."Might work. Can you hide your horns and tail?"You focus. Your succubus characteristics disappear, then come back."Yep! I usually just hide my wings, though.""Then I guess it would succeed based on how paranoid Crystal is. Or how careless the 'sister' is, I guess. Maybe Mom wants to beat her in a fair fight, who knows? It's a decent idea, though."Well, he didn't have to go and deconstruct it like that..."How are you feeling, by the way?"You shrug."Nausea's died down, only to be replaced by heartburn. And I've been having gassy attacks...""Gods, what doesn't happen during a pregnancy?""Death. Usually.""Well, you've jinxed it now, Aisha."End of second trimester:"Jack." you decide, staring up at the ceiling.Your child reacts to your voice. Kid's a good kicker. Dammit, you should've named him Kicker! Ah, well."Calm down, Jackie."You pat your stomach and speak in soft tones."Mommy's doing her best, just be patient.""You've decided on a name?"Jackie starts squirming upon hearing his father's voice."Oh, look what you've made him do!"Krystal clears her throat in the corner."I appreciate that you've named my grandson, but can we please get back to the task at hand?"You look up. She was studying the walls of her sister's new compound, trying to figure out the best breaching method."It's basically iron. C4--hell, a strong enough fire spell could break through. What you have to worry about is the concrete coating, but the plasma tank should punch through that in about two seconds."Krystal looks more closely at the pictures, then tosses them away."Well, I'm not the one who can identify wall materials on fucking sight! Seriously, that shit looks like an overgrown tumor!""Dad spent many hours teaching me what concrete looks like.">Leave me be, I want to pretend to be a beached whale in peace.>And as for those fucking octopus lasers patrolling the outside...>Shouldn't you be consulting Castiel? He's the fortifications nerd.>Other.
>>1711746>Shouldn't you be consulting Castiel? He's the fortification nerd. >Now leave me be, I want to pretend to be a beached whale in peace. >Play and talk with baby
>>1711765"Well, I wanted to hear a first, flawed opinion for Castiel to correct. Good day."Krystal leaves the house. You roll your eyes and smile down at your tummy."Good little Jackie! Who's gonna kill the enemies of the Order? I think it's you!""Aisha, I would highly advise against conditioning an unborn child to become a spree killer.""What? That's what my mom did, and I turned out fine!"Kasai turns away to cough into his fist.End of the third trimester...You lie on your back and stare up at the ceiling with a blank expression. So does Aisha."Maybe I'm just getting fat." she remarks."Nah. You're pregnant, too."She turns over and smacks you with a book. Worth it."Kasai!""Ow, stop!">I'll make you some dinner, then. Gods...>I guess I'll draw up a bath.>You seem kinda crabby. Want me to get a cushion for your back?>Other.
>>1711841>You seem kinda crabby. Get yourself a cushion you fucking thot. Mood changes ahoy!
>>1711857Aisha throws her book at you. You move your head by about an inch to dodge it."Asshole!""Mm-hm. Because I'm the one who just tried to assault my spouse.""Oh, fuck you."Aisha gets up and shuffles into the other room."I'm getting it myself because I want to!""Uh-huh."......she should be back by now--"GAH!"You sigh, get up, and walk over. Aisha's curled up on the ground."Again? That isn't funny.""NOT... JOKING... CALL SOMEONE, ASSHOLE!"Your eyes widen as you realize this isn't actually a joke."Oh, SHIT."...You step into the hallway of the infirmary and slump down in a provided chair."Couldn't handle it?"Oh, great. It's your weird father-in-law. You've never been quite sure what to think about him ever since he kidnapped you and forced you to watch the entirety of Kobayashi's Dragon Maid.Also he kills a lot of people every year, but you can't blame him, it's a reflex."Well, I couldn't either..." he sighs.You look up in surprise. You'd think a god of all people would be able to handle their wife giving birth.>They kicked me out, actually.>...I just wish I could do SOMETHING.>Ive been meaning to ask... does she actually have weird, deep-seated sociopathy or is she just pretending?>Other.
>>1712738>I've been meaning to ask... Does she actually have weird deep-seated sociopath or is she just pretending?
>>1712748"I think she's just autistic... so it could be both."Oh, well isn't that good news.You both sit there for several minutes, trying not to focus on your wife's faint screams."I hate this shit. I can never find a good moment to squeeze in a joke. If I try to, everyone tells me to shut up.""They mostly do, anyway.""Mouthy little bastard, aren't you? Well, Aisha said as much. And she loves you, so I guess I'm limited to only partially destroying your nervous system."That was probably a joke, but you move one more chair away from him just in case.The door opens, and the nurse beckons you in."Come in, Aisha's called for you."She stops Alagos as he's trying to enter."Family only, please.""Hi. I'm Alagos. If you let me in without making a fuss I won't wipe your memories."Aisha looks up at you from her bed, smiling weakly. A small, wrinkly form is nestled in her arms, wailing at the top of its lungs.Jack's hair was blue, like his mother, but he might have your eyes. It's kind of hard to tell because he's scrunching his face up. His forearms and legs are covered in dark red scales, but he lacks horns, wings, or tail. Fortunately, his scales are soft, so he won't be scratching himself by accident."Isn't he the cutest?" Aisha asks, weakly trying to swaddle Jack into a blanket. He wasn't having any of it.>Can I hold him?>Yes, dear. He is.>He looks like a scaly raisin.>Other.
>>1712831>He looks like a scaly raisin. >Can I hold him?
>>1712840Aisha gives you a disapproving glare."I suppose it's your right as a father..." she grumbles before handing Jack to you."Hey, buddy..."He calms down somewhat, looking up at you curiously."Yeah, it's me. Welcome to the world."The door opens. Krystal walks in, followed by Tsuyoi."I got here as soon as I--"Jack starts crying and flailing again. Krystal stares down at him."Do you want a fucking slap?"Tsuyoi giggles."He's just like his father."You roll your eyes and wrap Jackie up in a blanket. He can't kick you in the face, at least."You okay, Aisha? I mean, it's pretty stressful...""I'm okay. Just tired. I should really be getting some sleep."You spend about an hour waving off your family's congratulations before taking a cot in the infirmary. Damn, this was stressful....A noise wakes you up."Kasai..?" you mutter, sitting up in bed. Not him. Jackie's still sleeping in his little crib thing."Oh, hi Krystal. Do you need something?"The woman slowly turns and walks to your bedside. Your heart skips a beat as she leans in to look at you.This wasn't Krystal.It's her."Aisha.">GUARDS!>W-what do you want!? Leave me alone!>There's still time left, Crystal. Turn yourself in.>Other.
>>1712889I keep forgetting i didn't post Fuck >W-what do you want!?
>>1713018You're halfway through stammering the question when she interrupts you."Do you think you're better than me?""W-what?""Do you know how this makes me feel!?" she says, pointing at Jack.The hell is she talking about..."All around me, the world's just moving on. The next generation's grown up only to start an entirely new one right before my eyes. And do you know what I've been doing while that's happened? Building shit for my sister with an inflated ego. Every day, sitting in that fucking office, waiting for the next project to take my mind off my absolute fucking waste of a life. My reproductive system was shot to hell long before I even had a chance to use it. So perhaps I could leave a legacy behind some other way? If I can't have a child, maybe something else could make me care. No! Whether by accident or design, my fate has been sealed. All that's left besides my tedious duties to the Order is to be filed as a footnote in some far-off biography."Crystal kicks at a chair, sending it toppling over. She walks back to you and grips your shoulders."Fuck that! I deserve fame far more than that bitch! The Order's weaponry is built on MY theories! What've you done? A grunt is practically worshipped by everyone because of her parents, while the godsdamned guards can't even remember who I am!!!"She releases you and paces the room."No, no, NO. I am sick and tired of the Order's shit. My only option now is to wipe my sister off the face of the planet and take her place."She pauses and runs a hand through her hair."Ah. I'm not making much sense, am I? I don't give a shit if you understood that, I just need to vent."She walks over to the cradle and lifts Jack up. Her face is turned away from yours."Hey, put him down!""So cute... so this is my great-nephew? I always wanted a child like him.""What are you saying!?""...don't take this personally, Aisha. After all, you can just make another. I know you're planning another attack... perhaps this will make you less inclined to carry that plan out."No, she can't!"KASAI!"Krystal bursts into the room, scanning the scene."Put him down, then come with me. I can give you a fair trial--""And then what?! Go back to my old job, closely monitored by your minions? Waste away building bombs and reactors until I drop? Fuck you, and fuck the Order!"Crystal's pendant glows purple."STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!"She teleports away just as her sister reaches out to grab her.You stare in shock at where your son had been just a few moments ago."J......."...Aisha stares at her hands, stuttering softly in shock. Kasai sits next to her, trying to think of some way to help. He looks up at you."Why didn't you do anything!?""I couldn't... I couldn't risk hurting Jack."Your son grits his teeth and lowers his head.>Aisha... I'm sorry.>Take a drink. This is too much.>Go outside. Alagos must've heard about this by now.>Other.
>>1713154>>Go outside. Alagos must've heard about this by now.
>>1713167ThisAnd cryNine months for this? For that Bitch to take it away just like that? Cry of frustrating raaaage
>>1713167>>1713181You leave the room. Alagos is standing outside, leaning against the wall by the door. His body language would suggest that he didn't give a shit about what just happened, but the look on his face was calm.'Calm' for Alagos was rare. Usually he had a stupid smirk or a bored expression. Sometimes he got angry. Rarely would his face take on that placid look. You'd only seen it once, right before he had wiped out a legion of demonic forces back on Earth. This was hate."Where did you say your sister's new fortress was..?"You look at him shiftily."Assistance would be appreciated, but I don't think Aeneth would take kindly to the intrusion...""The Void is involved, which means Demon is as well. That alone might give me a good reason to interfere, but you sister has just made a move against my daughter. It is my inalienable right as her father to storm in there and kill that... insect. Out of respect for my own mother, I'll keep my involvement to a minimum. But I WILL be involved, and damn anyone who says otherwise."He disappears. You shudder slightly, remembering that look in his eyes. That was the true nature of the gods. Their personalities were constructed to hide that cold, calculating monster beneath. It's times like these that remind you... Alagos is WAY beyond your level. He only LETS you verbally abuse him.But damn... your grandchild, just snatched right out of his mother's arms, only hours after birth.You clench your fist. Crystal's gonna pay.>Go. Redouble your efforts to assemble that army.>Stay here. Your son and his wife need something to take their minds off this.>Drink and ponder the coming shitstorm.>Other.
>>1713181I needed a reason for people to be pissed at Crystal, not just mildly annoyed.Ta-da.She was originally supposed to kill him, so be grateful.
>>1713360>Go. Redouble your efforts to assemble that army.
>>1713360>>Stay here. Your son and his wife need something to take their minds off this.And then after they have been cried out, start the plotting.
>>1713968You step back inside Aisha's room and take a seat across the room."...crying isn't gonna help."Kasai glares at you."Mom, not right now!""What? I'm just telling it how it is. Your kid isn't dead, just being held prisoner by some bitch. I doubt she'll mishandle him."Kasai looks like he's about to speak again, before Aisha looks up."No. She's right.""Aisha..?"She puts a hand on Kasai's."We'll get him back. And it'll all be okay."You frown and study Aisha's face. She's got that look in her eyes... you've seen it numerous times before. It's the look someone gets when their mind has focused on a single goal. Usually, it would be survival. For her, it's probably revenge.>Aisha, you're not going in with the team. You need rest.>Leave. Ash is in another wing, she deserves to know...>Let Aisha do what she wants. There's no stopping her, not now.>Other.
>>1715213>>Leave. Ash is in another wing, she deserves to know...
>>1715213>Aisha, you're not going in with the team. You need rest.
>>1715236You get up again and walk out of the room. Ash had come to the infirmary after having contractions... they'd stopped, but she's getting close to delivery. You would've told Aisha that she was here, but Kasai was usually with her, and that kid seriously did not need any more to think about.The guards inside her room salute. You wave them away."Leave us. I need a moment alone."They stand guard outside the door. You pull a chair up and look Ash over."...dammit, I'll never get used to seeing pregnant teenagers."Ash smiles weakly."I'm older than you think. I was thirty-one before Aisha did that transformation thing.""Jesus. Better thank her for those extra years."You sigh and rub your eyes. It's three in the morning, you don't want to deal with this shit...But that's an Imperator's duty."Ash... Aisha gave birth down the hall, a few hours ago.""I heard the screams."You wince. Not a good first impression for an expecting mother."Really? I thought you would've hear the crying. But... my sister paid a visit."Ash tries to sit up."What?""Calm down, she's gone. It's just that... she took someone with her.""...who?"If you smoked, this is where you'd grind the butt into the ground with a vengeance."Jack. The baby.""Wha--no!""She's gone completely insane. We'll get him back, don't worry."She looks up at you nervously."Am I in danger?""Doubt it. I'm not even sure my sister knows you exist. But just in case, I stationed those guards in here.""I... I want to see her.""Bad idea. Aisha isn't herself right now.""...hysteric?""Worse. She's gonna go psycho. I've seen it before. Some call it 'battle-madness'. I just call it hate."You take a drink from your trusty flask. Gods, this night..."Last time I saw it, happened to a kid in my platoon. Enemy soldiers killed every last one of his buddies. One night, he just struck out to their camp and slit a dozen throats before getting shot."Ash looks horrified. Good thing you gave her the mild example.>Well, good night!>I'll keep her under watch. She's gonna stay here, safe.>Only way to cure it is to let them get their revenge... all I can do is watch her six.>Other.
>>1715684>I'll keep her under watch. She's gonna stay here, safe.
>>1715939Ash relaxes."Good... that's good."You give her a pat on the shoulder."Hope your, uh... brothel works out.""Is... is it legal? I suppose I should've asked.""Just take out any criminals you get and I'll turn a blind eye."You leave the room and motion the guards back in. One stops and speaks to you."Uh... Imperator?""Yes, Williams?"He seems startled that you know his name."It's just... do I have to guard her? What if she..."You smile."Call a physician. Of course, if you're still unsure about your assignment, we could always just send you to dig latrines in occupied territory.""N-no, Imperator! I'm perfectly capable of--""That was a joke, Williams.""R-right."He heads inside. You continue along the hallway and mutter darkly to yourself."Can't take a goddamn fucking joke...">Go home. You need sleep.>Find a cot around here or something.>Hook up a saline drip so you don't wake up hung over.>Other.
>>1716085>Hook up a saline drip so you don't wake up hung over. >Go home
>>1716166Yeah, you'd rigged up one of these before. The physicians really appreciated it, along with what little you remembered about blood transfusion.There was a drip in the supply closet, and some saline in the cabinet right over there...Yeah, much better.You take a swig of alcohol and start for your quarters....You wake up to your head being dunked in cold water."Ack! Hey, the hell--"Tsuyoi grabs a towel from a nearby rack and helps you dry your head off."Nice of you to fall asleep in here. Didn't want to get the bed wet again.""Ugh..."You run the sleep from your eyes."Sorry about that. Had a rough night... must've drank more than I thought."You wince as you pull the drip tube out of your arm. Endure it for the buzz."Ah, she's awake."Rolland stands in the doorway. You give him a weary look."Come on, give me a few minutes, at least.""I cannot do that. Get yourself cleaned up, we have an issue on our hands."...Rolland explains as you head for the administrative section of the castle."Bureaucrat named Simmons. Our attempts to mobilize the city's forces and requisition materials have been blocked by him. He doesn't give a shit if it's official business, everything has to go through the 'proper channels'. Unfortunately, these would take months to go through.""So, I have to personally pay a visit." you growl. "And this is why everything's been taking so long.""It took us months to find out where the issue was...""As soon as this is done, remove his position from the bureaucracy. Then get the scribes to make sure no one man can do something like this again.""Yes, Imperator."You push open the door to Simmons's office. A scrawny, balding Orc looks up from his papers."Do you have an appointment?" he asks, peering through thick glasses at you.Rolland clears his throat."Simmons, this is Krystal Tassoni. The Ducchess of this city?""Yes, but does she have an appointment?">You have to get an appointment with ME, fucko.>Cut the shit and approve those requests immediately.>Mr. Simmons... I realize you're a busy man, but these requests are of utmost importance.>Other.
>>1716312>You have to get an appointment with ME, greenskin>I realize you're a busy man, but these requests are of utmost importance.
>>1716374"I know they are, which is why I've urged your subordinates to fill out the paperwork time and again."Rolland scoffs."Yeah, and then we wait and twiddle our thumbs while being given the runaround."Simmaons glares at your assistant."Do you realize how much of a fuss this sort of thing causes among the administration? If we don't keep things orderly, we would be constantly bombarded with requests for all sorts of troop movements and supplies, to be carried out immediately. Everyone would believe they're entitled!"You try not to sigh loudly."Yes, but just this once, I'm asking for this to be done immediately.""Are you aware, madame--"Your eye twitches. The correct manner of address was 'Lady'. While you don't give a shit about that, you fully expect your subordinates to."--that any and all military actions taken without proper legislation are illegal? You place our hands on his desk and loom over him."Are you aware, Sir, that it's perfectly legal to terminate subordinates for failing to follow direct orders?"Simmons pales."Yeah, that's what I thought. Sounds to me like you've been talking out your ass to feel self-important. Well, you've met someone who isn't gonna deal with your bullshit."You draw your gun and casually examine it."Now, just mark everything required of those requests as 'approved' and I'll let you keep your head.""Y-you wouldn't--""You wanna try me? Did you hear about your boss a few months back? Boris?""He was burned alive in his office...""And there wasn't an investigation because the killer is well-known. Details weren't released because it wouldn't do to have the Ducchess mixed up in a scandal like that."Simmons reaches under his desk and starts signing a form."Good man! Now, if I hear about another delay, I'll personally come up here and discuss it with you."..."Good work.""I always do good work, Rolland."I didn't think you'd be the type to look through a lawbook.""Well, I had to know how far I could go when it came to stubborn bitches like him.">Now, a spot of target practice. Need to keep in good shape.>You get to treat me to breakfast again.>Let's go take a look at the assembly lines. Should be at full speed by now.>Other.
>>1716447>You get to treat me to breakfast again, then, to the target practice!
>>1716466"I expected as much..."You smile. Rolland was a good sport. Ever since you started making him buy you breakfast he's been keeping about ₩100 in his pocket at all times. He files it under 'Order expenses'...."Hey, hold my muffin for a sec."Rolland holds it without question. Loyal, but you could feel his soul crack slightly every time you do something like this. He and Faervel should start a support--...oh, yeah.Faervel died.Shit.You take aim at the target and fire rapidly. Every bullet stays within the inner circle."Pretty good shooting today.""I know! And I didn't even have that dream where I was Snoop Dogg again!"Rolland doesn't react. Your subordinates don't even have the decency to act confused about your jokes anymore."Katie, switch on the movement, please!"The target hovers and starts bobbing and weaving around the range.You reload, flip your gun from hand to hand, and fire again. You miss twice, but pretty much anyone would be taken down from the rest."I'm on FIRE!"You holster your gun and draw your knife."Alright, now for the best part."The target changes direction just before the knife hits it."Wha--hey! People can't do that in real life!""Unless they've cast a flight spell on themselves.""Shh! Fine then, taffers..."You have a shot of vodka (it's healthy) and retrieve your knife. This time, it sinks right into the target's neck."See? It's a scientific fact that I aim better with a buzz!""Imperator, I don't believe--""Well, my combat effectiveness goes up for sure! I fire twice as many bullets!"Rolland's sigh is enough to make nearby acolytes burst into tears."As you say, Imperator.""Damn skippy."You leave the firing range only to be immediately accosted by your other aides. If there was a tracking spell on you, you'd know. How the duck do they find you so fast..?>Listen to what they have to say.>Brush them off and go look at your new toys in the factory.>BACK THE FUCK UP!>Other.
>>1718376>Listen to what they have to say >But ignore them>Promptly walk off
>>1718401"My Lady, we need you to take a stance on this rail line situation--""Mm-hm, sounds good, I like what you did with your hair."You walk off toward the training hall. Might as well make sure the kids' CQC is synchronized...."Krystal, please.""Proper address.""My Lady--""Good boy. Excuse me, I have important business."You sit down and start eating a small loaf of bread."My Lady...""Sorry, can't talk. I am the Ducchess, after all."Your aides stare wearily as you enjoy your bread."What are you going to do about Duke Aron's visit!?" one of them asks."Wow, an outburst! I didn't think you had it--wait, what? Duke Aron!? Why the fuck didn't you tell me earlier?""AAAAAAAaaaaaaaa...""Tell him that I'm reeeeally sorry, but I'm preparing for a real shitstorm and I don't have time to entertain old business associates. Make sure it's that exact wording, I want him to know it's me talking and not some scribe.">Anything else critically important?>Stop by your quarters. Private time with the wife should get rid of these pests.>Hide in an air shaft and get wasted.>Other.
>>1718484>Anything else critically important? >Stop by your quarters and pass the fuck out
>>1719201"Well... the digging crews in the caverns below us have found something.""Is it seashells again? I bet it's seashells again...""They have assured me that it most certainly isn't. Of course, they also wouldn't give me any precise details. Just that it 'goes deeper' and that you'd want to see.""Huh. Well, I'll go take a look later."You walk away."The tram tunnel?""Yeah, build it or whatever."...You stir and slowly open your eyes. Must've been more tired than you thought...Tsuyoi lies next to you, breathing softly on your neck. You reach up and caress her face."I really gotta stop acting like an asshole... around you, anyway."You give her forehead a kiss.>Might as well have some fun with her.>Go check out that mining thing. You haven't been in the caves for a while, might as well see what it's like now.>Other.
>>1719272>>Go check out that mining thing. You haven't been in the caves for a while, might as well see what it's like now.
>>1719285You get up and start to leave before hesitating."...dammit."A few moments later, you leave your note by Tsuyoi.'Love you'....The mines had changed.New tunnels had been carved out, the crystals were fewer and farther between, and the silence was replaced with the whir of machines and the shouting of workers. Hair-thin strands of crystal hang in the air, forcing you to wear a face mask. They have interesting effects when light shines through them... perhaps that's what gives this place that unsettling air.A group of miners are clustered around an open pit. Railing has been put up."What's this about?" you ask. The head miner turns to explain, his voice muffled by the mask."Been doing jobs like this for twenty years. I'm surprised that this cavern isn't flooded by the ocean, but this..."He shakes his head and points toward the pit."You'll just have to see it."You step forward. He has a good point. Why isn't this place underwater? Either strong rocks or magic...The pit goes completely black after several dozen meters. You take a rock and toss it in. No sound of it hitting bottom."Ah. Sorry. Bring one of the lights!""No need."You hold out your hand. A ball of light appears in your palm and floats down into the pit."What in the..."You increase the light's brightness. Sure enough, there's unmistakable brickwork. And was that..?"I want an exploration crew down here as soon as possible. Don't tell anyone about this until we know what we're dealing with.""Yes, Imperator!"A miner runs off to relay your orders. Down in the pit, soft blue lights flicker on...Three months later...You stand in the command tent, looking over the map that had been prepared.Tomorrow was the day you'd finally get revenge.For the thousandth time, you take stock of your forces.Two thousand soldiers.Four elite squads of a dozen.Numerous heavy arms, vehicles, breaching tools, and other necessities, assigned to individual battalions and squadrons as needed.Then there were those things you found, down in that pit... Alagos had also promised to 'get involved', which should prove interesting.Wasn't there something--?Oh, yeah. The most important resource.You.>Sleep. You're going to need it.>Call Tsuyoi. Just in case you--in case the codec breaks.>Stock up on drink. Purely for molotovs.>Other.
>>1719466HmmSuspicious >Call Tsuyoi. >Sleep
>>1719757You call her up."Hi, Krystal.""Hey, Tsuyoi. Just calling to make sure you're safe.""You're the one who needs to be safe.""Yeah, I guess... is Aisha there?""Sound asleep at home. She hasn't given the guards any trouble."You sigh in relief. At least she wasn't trying to come fight."That's good... very good."You sit in silence for a few moments."I love you, Tsuyoi.""Huh? I-I love you too, Krystal."You laugh."Ah, it's always funny when you do that.""Shut up... Krystal?""Yeah?""Make sure Kasai stays safe, okay? If anything happened to him... it wouldn't just affect me and Aisha. It would break you, too.""Me? Come on, I'm not gonna go insane because my son dies. Sure, I wouldn't exactly be fine with it, but I'd move on.""...if you say so."You lean back in your chair and nervously drum your fingers on the armrest."Tsuyoi... look, it'll be fine. We'll go in, get what we came for, and get out. So... start preparing a feast! Celebration for when we return!""...yeah. I'd like that.""I knew you would. Goodnight, Tsuyoi.""Goodnight, Krystal."You hang up, go outside, and look at the moon."You up there... you can't let her win, right?"The moon remains silent."Well, fuck you too! I know you can do telepathy, this cryptic silence isn't necessary! I'm going to bed, you better not give me any dumbass dreams."...You lick your lips nervously, glad that your helmet hides your expression."Soldiers! I'm not one for speeches, so your commanding officers will have to issue their own."You look up at the sun and estimate the time. Jesus, this late..?"The operation will commence soon, so here's our plan! I'll take point, slipping into the fortress before the rest of you. After me will be the four elite squadrons I've previously designated. From inside, we will try to weaken the fortress's defense while your assault is under way. Further details will also be provided by your commanding officers."You draw your sword and hold it aloft."FOR THE GOD OF STORMS!""AVE IMPERATOR!"Your soldiers slam swords against shields. Some of them fire into the air, only to be reprimanded by their superiors.Okay... now to get inside.>Have Kasai drop you in.>Use an invisibility spell and sneak in.>Charge the front gate and punch through.>Other.
>>1719970All of these sound absolutely terrible and i can't come up with anything else>Cast an athletic spell that let's us jump much higher and jump in then follow it up with an invisibility spell
>>1720003You say a quick prayer. Alagos grants you a fraction of his agility. It'll be plenty.Okay... this was either gonna go amazingly, or be a complete disaster.You start running around to the back of the fortress (a good five miles away. This thing was HUGE). Along the way, a turret mounted on the wall starts targeting you with a very obvious laser.A beam of purple light disintegrates the ground just behind you. This blessing was seriously amazing... you haven't even broken a sweat!"Two can play at that game."You draw your Magnum and take aim at the turret. A single shot, causes it to twitch before exploding."Oh, that wasn't even skill. That was just dumb luck. I'm not complaining, though."The explosion seems to have made the guards antsy for some reason. Some small arms fire and magic projectiles speed toward you, but you've soon outdistanced them.Attacking from this side of the fortress should result in some confusion for when your forces attack the front... you eye the walls warily. By your best estimation, these things are about 500 feet high. Jesus. How do you even start building that..? The Stratofortress could be flying in here and you wouldn't know until getting inside!You leap up the wall like a mountain goat, leaping off tiny ledges as soon as you've made contact with them. Alagos would've just ran up the side, but you don't think you're THAT fast."WE'VE GOT CONTACT!"Soldiers leap over the side, rappelling down to meet you. It's gonna be a long climb...Roll 1d20.
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>1721277
>>1721294AWWWWWW YEAHJACKIE HERE WE COME
>>1721294They want a fight? Okay, you'll oblige.You hang onto the wall with one hand and grab your M240 with the other. You'd need high stopping power to compensate for shooting straight up.The stock hooking onto the masonry helps a little.As you open fire, every bullet in your barrage transfers some newfound electric charge to the most conductive targets available, that being the rappel cables. What few soldiers weren't ripped apart felt their hearts explode.Climbing further, you notice one man reeling in his harness. An impossibly strong and brief gust of wind snaps his cable and sends him plummeting four hundred feet down.Alagos was here.You make it about halfway up the wall before the next wave appears. This one included four-legged cannons that climbed straight down the face of the wall."Contact! Climber!"You get a better look at your new enemies. Kevlar armor, looks like. Mass-produced rifles, urban camo... the most interesting thing about these guys is that they definitely aren't from Syreth. Guess your sister's importing personnel from other universes, as well.They have a rather hefty advantages, unfortunately. That being the high ground, as well as proper climbing equipment, numbers, your flanks, and plenty more besides. A quick head count reveals forty soldiers and eight cannons....maybe a helicopter would've been a good development to make before this.A furious bolt of lightning strikes the center of the force, nearly making you slip and taking out three guys."Oh, thanks!"Roll another d20.
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1721482
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>1721507
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>1721507SAVING THROW Golly gee i sure hope that other lurker from two days ago rolls a 20!
You all have fun with the rolling. Gotta go to work... in the meantime, here's basically what all the enemy commanders are doing. https://youtu.be/6aK78w-st2U
>>1721532 (median of these two succeeds. Congrats)>>1721574You scramble sideways and upward as soldiers and cannons fire upon you. It seems the 'more dakka' strategy of warfare sometime fails... usually because of dumb luck.On the other hand, it seems your performance is greatly enhanced by overwhelming odds/stupid situations. All you need to do is fight Crystal in a room full of hostiles and rigged with a nuclear warhead and you'd be sure to win.Anyway, the point is that you're drawing one gun out of dimensional storage, emptying it, and taking out a new one. About a dozen soldiers are dead now, along with six of the cannons."What's wrong? Can't hit me? I could do this ALL FUCKING--"Your hand slips."SHIT!!"You try to regain your balance before falling off the wall. At least you're faceup, and won't have to see your doom rushing up to greet you.Then you remember your new armor's additions.A quick slap of a gemstone on your belt, and ethereal wings spring from your back. You fly back up to your previous position."Hello, boys! I'm BAAAAACK!"Now you've got an advantage. The nature of rappelling equipment doesn't allow the user to operate heavy weapons. They have to keep a handhold on the cable.You don't have that limitation, due to hovering in the air. Accordingly, you draw a repeating cannon from your dimensional storage and let loose.Some shots fly past you, but the entire force is wiped out before anyone can actually hit you.The trip up is easier from this point. A hundred feet before you crest the top of the wall, you spy Kasai flying over the fortress, a bomb-carrying chassis strapped to him."Dropping incendiaries!" he says over the radio. Wasn't actually a radio, per se, but... fuck it. It's a radio.He reaches a hind claw back to dislodge some small, misshapen blobs."Kasai, that's not... THOSE ARE THE NUKES! WHAT THE FUCK?!""WHAT!? I DIDN'T KNOW!""THAT WAS LITERALLY ALL THE NUKES!"From what you understand, these things are supposed to pull reality around and let it snap back into place like the title screen of Mario 64."KASAI, IF THIS BREAKS REALITY, I'M KILLING YOU!"You fly up over the final battlement. Inside the fortress is a sprawling mess of hives, factories, camps, and generators. Hovering above it all is the Stratofortress.And the Stratofortress is circling a pure black gash in reality. Color fades around it, turning the world bleak shades of black and white.The nukes hit.https://youtube.com/watch?v=WKY3psz7RgUThe Void portal stretches and folds itself inside-out.You desperately try to use a short-range teleport. This wasn't worth dying for.The world has other ideas. You find yourself nearly appearing inside one of the members of Squadron Beta, then being yanked to some somewhere dark with green lights, then deposited in front of a desk.A young man with short brown hair and glasses looks up from his computer."Who are you?""Who are you!?""How did you get in here?""I dunno!"(1/2)
WHAT IS HAPPENING? I WAS ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP OH GOD THE HUMANITY
>>1722922You're yanked away from the office and plunged into a pool of... something."GLLMBLGJMDNJ"It's glowing and weird and OH GOD IS THAT A FUCKING SNAKE--Once again, you're pulled away and promptly tossed onto the deck of a ship."Kyouka, this bundle has ruined my supper."You pull your helmet out of a bowl of fish and look at the speaker.It's a gray cat."Nekoboro, stay away! It has sharp things, it might hurt you!"You look farther up. The new speaker is a catgirl."GAH!"You scramble to your feet and wave your gun around."I AM THE GODDESS OF FIREARMS! DON'T TRY TO HARM ME! OR AT LEAST STAND STILL!"You take the moment of confusion to make your escape over the ship's railing. The teleportation fucks up again, sending you into... is this an air duct? And is that a rat?Oh... big rat.Mutant rat.OH GODS KILL IT KILL IT KILL ITYou slap at the evil thing before the duct collapses, dumping you ten feet onto a cold floor."OWWWWWWWWWWWWW."A blonde woman in glasses and a lab coat leans over you."Are you okay?">NOOOOO.>Did I always have four limbs? Why does everything taste green? WHERE AM I!?>I will be, after copious amounts of narcotics. Speaking of which--!>Other.
>>1722980>>Did I always have four limbs? Why does everything taste green? WHERE AM I!?
>>1722986"...I dunno."You sit up."Some helpful doctor you are.""How'd you know I'm a doctor?""...maybe the coat and glasses did it. Or maybe the motherfucking MEDICAL ID on your--""Okay, fine! God.""Who are you, anyway? 'Krystal Tass'--oh, please no. Fuck, FUCKING GODSDAMMIT.""Ummmm..?"You turn around and smash your fists into the bars of the cell."Oh, this is even better! I'm in prison! What the hell is my alter ego doing in prison?!""What are you talking about?"You remove your helmet and spread your arms wide."Ta-da.""Not another one!""Yep, it's... another one?""Yeah, she had weird pointy ears, like you. And robes. 'Crystal with a c'. She seemed very concerned that I spell it correctly."You frown."What did she want?""Pulled me right out of an examination and asked me to help her kill an impostor. I told her that even if I could, I'm under something called the Hippocratic Oath. She tried to shove me back through that black portal before sticking me in here. What's your story?""I'm the head of a religious order. May or may not have banged the god we worship. The bitch that threw you in here is my sort-of sister, and we have to kill her because she's dicking around with evil, reality-spanning portals.""...yeah, I'll just write this off as a bad dream accidentally induced by narcotics and anesthesia. It's happened before... fucking Rachel. But while I'm here, I guess I'll help as best as I can.""Great.">I'm gonna blow the lock off, stand back.>Where was that acetylene torch...>Oh, guaaaaards! Could you get us a change of clothes? Ours are ruined!>Other.
>>1723579>I'm gonna blow off the lock ofg, stand back.
>>1723617"Uh, okay."Your other self retreats to the back of the room. You put your helmet back on and shoot the door's lock."We're free!"You stroll out the door and run right into a guard."CONTA--"His head is promptly blown to bits."Ewwwww. I just got this armor, I don't want to get it all covered in blood..."The radio crackles."Squad Omega, come in!"That's your code name. Bit of trickery right there, in case they're listening. Besides, you're worth a full squad."I'm listening.""Peterson's just been found unconscious and tied up. His equipment's missing, too!""Shit! He was in Squad Beta, right? Call them back!""Too late, they're already inside."You switch channels."Squad Beta, is Peterson there? Restrain him immediately, he is not to be trusted.""Yes, Sir."Silence..."Peterson isn't here! He was just a moment ago!""Damn! Okay, continue the mission, but if you see him, take him in, dead or alive!""Roger!"Your other self stands next to you and lights a cigarette."You smoke? That shit'll kill ya."You take a long swig from your flask of alcohol."Yeah, I see you're concerned about your health.""It steadies my hands. And holds back the PTSD.""Right. Well, do you know where we're going next?">Armory!>I'm gonna get you home. You came through that giant portal, right?>We're gonna kill our sister! It'll be badass!>...this way, I guess.>Other.
>>1723690>We're gonna kill our sister it'll be badass!
>>1723696"Uh... that's kinda what she asked me to do. Why would I--""Because I'm not as much of an asshole. And I'm willing to try a little harder to get you back home.""...fair enough.""Good! Now."..."Great job locking us in a FUCKING FREEZER!""I thought it went outside!""Yeah, why wouldn't this shit lead outside?' I always go through freezers on my way to work!""Hold on, let me just get this..."You conjure a ball of fire in your hand."The hell is that!?""Magic.""WHAT?!""You've seen a giant Void portal that kidnaps people from other worlds, but a ball of fire in someone's hand? Nooooo, that's ridiculous!"Your rant is cut off by the sound of a wolf howling."...aw, shit.""I don't think this is a freezer."You look around. Pine trees, snow, stars..."This is Alaska, goddammit!""Hey, it DID lead outside! Fuck you!"The wolf howls again, closer this time."Okay, fur, used to cold temperatures..."You summon a flamer and check the promethium gauge. Still almost full."What is THAT!?""Flamer. Here, take this."You hand your clone a shotgun."Make sure you check your flank, that's how they got that guy in Jurassic Park.""What's Jurassic Park?""YOU HAVEN'T SEEN--"Something bounds out of the woods and lands heavily on you.Well, shit. This isn't how you thought you'd die...A warm, rough tongue slides across your face."OH GOD WHAT IS IT WHY DOES IT HAVE TUSKS HOW DO I USE THIS""Calm down, he's friendly! His name's Nova, he likes it when you scratch him behind the ears."Your clone hesitantly pats him on the head."Hi, Nova..."He starts licking her face."Gah! Get it off!""Heel."Nova sits and pants, his breath visible in the chilly air. Your clone stands closer to him for warmth and shivers."What the hell do we do now?!"You look around. There's the door you came from, set in a cliff face.>NOW I use the torch. Mind if I use your cig to light it?>I guess we wander around until something happens.>Hold on tight. I'm gonna try a teleport.>Other.
>>1723834>Hold on tight. I'm gonna try teleport.
>>1723853"Oh, no..."You hop on Nova's back and help your twin up."Okay, here we go!"You cast the spell.The yanking sensation returns. Yep, it failed again... where's it gonna spit you out?You appear on a battlement, surrounded by enemy soldiers all firing at something below them."Shit! Nova, run!"He follows your command. You've also alerted some of the soldiers around you."CONTACT!""IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY!?"A dark gray machine heaves itself up onto the battlement. It's eyes glowed a deep blue."TELEPORTING AGAIN!"The lizardlike machine opened its mouth. You teleport just as a blast of energy disintegrates every last trace of organic matter in the vicinity.You reappear on some sort of conveyor belt. It's depositing what looks like engine blocks into a glowing green liquid. Your armor's Geiger counter starts ticking rapidly."Nova! Catwalk!"Your wolf friend leaps off the belt onto the indicated spot. Some sort of distortion surrounds it... maybe radiation shielding. Either way, it doesn't affect you.Some strange creatures block the way. They look like fleshy balls with limbs grafted onto them. A quick blast of machine gun fire drives them away."WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!""Which one?""THE LASER LIZARD!""Found that and like, twelve others in a pit a few months back."Nova emerges from the factory into absolute chaos. The landscape inside the fortress is even more twisted than before, with all sorts of dead or dying alien life littering the ground. Guess they don't react well to oxygen."Fuck, I think there's gonna be a multiversal congressional about this. Someone's gonna ask what happened, and then everyone else will just be like, 'UMMMMMM...""If this is what a bad trip's like, I'm never smoking peyote again..."You look up at the Stratofortress, still orbiting the Void portal. The alien cancers growing on it look brittle, you can clean them off."Yep, gotta love the Zone! Anyway, our first priority is to acquire some kind of flying vehicle. I have some wings, but they won't carry us all up there."You survey the area again. Maybe there's a stranded Seal Team that could lend you their helicopter. There's one--dammit, it crashed."ALROIGHT BOYZ! I BELIEVES THAT THA BEST PLAN FOR THIS SITUATION IS TA KRUMP ANYFIN' NOT GREEN AND ORKY!"Or those guys could help. If you can convince them.>Look around for something that'll fly.>Petition the Boyz for help. (D20)>Cast a fly spell and focus HARD. (D20, minus 2 because of all the screaming and gunfire)>Other.
Yo op, I'm going to be inactive for a while Juss letting u know
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>1724089>>Petition the Boyz for help. (D20)I'm afraid of rolling, but here goes nothing.
>>1724365"OI!""What the hell are you doing?!" your twin hisses.The Orks turn to face you."SEEMS WE GOTS A FEW 'UMIES HERE! WELL, IT'LL DO FOR A START.""WOT IF I TOLD YOU WHERE THE BEST FIGHTAS WERE? WOULD YOU KILL THEM BEFORE US?"The warboss scratches his chin."I SUPPOSE.""SO HOW'S ABOUT WE RIG UP A FLYA--"You point up at the Stratofortress."--GIT UP THERE, AND KRUMP SOME GOBSHITES?""YEEEEEAH!"The Warboyz get together and start attaching wings to their tank."Is this safe..?""No, but it'll fly!""How do you know so much about these... things?""Nathan, in high school. He kept telling me to check out 40K until I did just to make him shut up. Nice guns GW came up with.""WE'S READY! GET ON OR STAY BEHIND!"Nova hops into the tank."HERE WE GO, BOYS!""YEAAAAAAAAAAH!"...You crouch down behind a torn section of building and peek out from behind it. Krystal was getting on a tank with some roid-raging orcs. And was that another twin..?You shake your head. That's not what's important.What was important was Jackie.You'd taken a chance, creating an illusion to inhabit your house and stealing this armor. But there's no way you were just gonna sit by while your child is put in harm's way.You reload and ponder the situation. The Stratofortress... how're you gonna get up there?>Catch a ride with the Orks.>Look around for something else.>Use the armor's wings and try to avoid sniper fire.>Other.(Aisha's gone rogue)
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>1726534>Turn the fuck back >See reason, womanThis is a terrible idea
>>1726551Please, see reason! that annoying part of your mind cries.FUCK YOUUUUUU! JACKIE IS IN DANGER, BITCH! REEEEEEEEYou banish those doubts from your mind. If you left now, there would just be a court-martial and a whole shitshow to deal with. If you rescued Jackie, you'd be a hero!The plane-tanks lifts off and heads for the Stratofortress. Too slow to get on...As it nears the flying fortress, one of the engines explodes, sending the craft spiraling into the front door."Okay, good thing I didn't get on...""WWVRRRRRRRRR..."Another one of those weird boogers on legs trots around the corner and makes noise at you. You respond by putting a bullet in its weird body."What now..?">Find an aircraft.>Fly up yourself.>KASAI! HUBBY!>Other.
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1726623ONE LAST ATTEMPT >TURN THE FUCK BACK WOMAN>ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL AND GTFO BACK HOME >I'M SURE AS SHIT YOU DONT WANT TO LEAVE JACKIE MOTHERLESS YOU WHORE
>>1726636IF YOU'RE NOT THE ONE TO RESCUE JACKIE YOU AREN'T WORTHY TO BE HIS MOMMY! LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO!You take off toward a military base that seems promising, dodging gunfire and projectiles of all sorts. A mortar blast sends you flying right as you reach the entrance to the base.That was close."Drop your weapon and put your hands up!"You turn around, suddenly confronted by a soldier in green camouflage. He's got round ears... interesting.But that's not as interesting as the red-white-and-blue patch on his shoulder.>Hey! I know Krystal, she'll vouch for me!>Uhh... howdy! Can I use yer military hardware, perchance?>I HAVE RIGHTS YOU CAN'T DO THIS>Other.
>>1726864>I HAVE RIGHTS YOU CAN'T DO THIS >SHOOT HIM>MOVE ON
Going to sleep btw
>>1726867"...huh?""MY CHILD! I HAVE TO GET HIM BACK!""What are you--""I'M SORRY."You shoot him in the leg and run for it."GAAAAAAH! ALARM!"A siren starts blaring throughout the base."Dammit!""There!"Bullets whizz past your head. You manage to rush straight past all the soldiers in your way and make it to an airfield."Helicopter!"You jump in and hold a gun to the pilot's head."Gimme the loudspeaker.""O-okay...""Ahem... I HAVE A HOSTAGE! HE WILL BE RELEASED AS SOON AS I AM DROPPED OFF AT MY DESTINATION!""...where is that?""THE FORTRESS UP THERE."The pilot winces at your volume. Oh. Should've turned off the loudspeaker.He takes off, a look of resignation crossing his face.Roll 1d20 for safe passage.
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>1726904Least steady chopper flight of all time!
>>1727015The helicopter lifts off. You can see some commander throwing his hat on the ground. Tee-hee."Ma'am, we've got incoming--""I'm on it."You man the .50 cal and take aim at the incoming... the hell are those, manta rays?"This shouldn't be too hard."You fire. The manta ray jets manage to dodge and try retaliating, but it looks like they can only fire straight at the ground. You both go on not hitting each other until a split-second blue light hits the engine.The pilot is instantly killed."PEQUOD! NOOOOOO!"You try to take over the controls, but you have no idea what any of this does. The helicopter spirals toward the ground...Before being pushed up suddenly by a gust of wind."Thanks, Dad!" you shout, strapping yourself into the copilot's seat."Why did I take a helicopter? They always crash, every time!"You clench your teeth and get ready. The impact knocks you out...."Fuck..."You get up and rub your head. Ork technology. Trust it to just blow up for no reason.Another explosion forces the wreck off the side of the Stratofortress."OI! WHO SHOT AT US!? GET THE GIT!" the warboss shouts as his entire band plunges to the ground."That was the worst thing I've ever experienced." your twin says, shakily lighting another cigarette."Ha! You're fine, except some scratches. I'll listen to your complaints when you get an eye poked out!""How DID you lose that eye, anyway?"You think back."It involved the three elements of my psyche and a lot of screaming.""...right."Nova licks some blood off your face. Seems you were cut on the forehead... it'll be fine."Well, we can't go back. Only option is forward!""Oh, great...">Check up on the elite squadrons. Will they be here soon to provide support?>Prepare a breaching maneuver.>Tell Nova and your twin to hide, then charge in and kill everyone.>Other.
>>1727542>Prepare a breaching maneuver.
>>1727568You hand your twin a grenade."Here. As soon as I bust the door open, throw it in and run away until I give the all clear, or the loud noises stop.""I'm under--""Yeah, whatever. If they're smart, they won't get killed by it, and it's not like I'm gonna tell anyone."You light your torch with your twin's cigarette and start melting through the door's lock and hinges."Okay, on three."..."THREE!"You kick the door down. Your twin hurls the grenade inside and sprints away."BREACH!"You can hear a cry of pain as the grenade goes off. Well, that does it. Your twin's a murderer.The soldiers inside don't seem like they were ready for this. You easily carve through them with your shotgun."That's it? Well, let's hope there's some better ones farther in... aw, shit."The color slowly drains from your surroundings. Four figures step from a doorway. Their equipment is new, but you know who they are.Void Knights.They've been equipped with new swords and given rifles... looks like carbon filament.You crack your knuckles and roll your shoulders."Yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers."Roll 1d20.>Test your blade on them. They're still knights, after all.>Tactical shooting is new to them. Show them how it's done.>Other.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1727654>Mix up the blade work and the gunfu
>>1727660You pull out an MP5 and start running across the room. The Void Knights start shooting, landing a few hits on you and spreading out. You push a table over and crouch behind it."AHA!"You lean out and blast at where you'd heard the noise. The thrown grenade detonates, hurling you into a wall."Guh... fuck. That was stupid..."A knight pops out of cover. You shoot him and prop yourself up, assessing the damage. Got the wind knocked out of you, bruises... might have a concussion or a broken rib. It'll take a while to get up again, as long as--A grenade clatters to your feet. This one looks a little different than before."NO! NOT HERE, DAMMIT! I'M SO CLOSE!"You kick at it, sending it rolling just out of your reach. Something rushes by you and heads for the Void Knights."Wha--NOVA! NO!"He had picked up the grenade and was charging the enemy."STOP! PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT--"An explosion incinerates your companion, as well as the remaining Knights."--now..."..."Uh... hello?"Your twin walks into the room, wincing at the damage done. She walks up to you and checks your pulse."You okay? Something's staining your eyepatch."You sit up and hastily wipe at your good eye."P-probably just cerebral fluid... yeah, that's it.""That's kinda serious. You need medical attention.""I'm fine--AAAGH!"You try to stand before collapsing."FUCK! Godsdammit, that hurts...""Yeah, I think you communicated that nicely.""Shut up."Your twin starts taking off your armor."Come on, let's see what happened.">Not here. There could be more coming.>Alright... do whatever you have to. Might be a medkit around here.>Tell her about Nova. He was a good boy...>Other.
>>1727837>Not here, there could be more, look for a medkit.As she drags us somewhere safe>Tell her about Nova. He was a good boy...
>>1727855"Yeah, that would be a good idea..."She grabs you under the arms."FffffffUCK you're heavy!""Armor. You can try a fireman's carry.""Hell no, I'd collapse."You sigh and help her by pushing with your feet."Just get your dog to help you. Where is it..?""Nova. His name was Nova. He died protecting me.""Just now?""Yes. He grabbed a grenade and ran back to the asshat who threw it.""...oh. Sorry.""I stole him from an assassin, you know."Your twin manages to get you into a side room and runs off to look for a medkit."Guy tried to run me through with a spear." you say, more to yourself than anything."Beastmaster type, I guess. Convinced Nova that I'd be a better match."Your twin returns and starts unbuckling your armor."Keep talking. It'll take your mind off the pain."She injects you with a clear liquid. Label says 'morphine sulfate'."Oh, fuck yeah! Anyway. I fed Nova's old master to him. Since then... we've been good friends. Saved each others' lives, too. Like when I got captured and he just went on a rampage through the camp. And then six seconds later when he was shot full of crossbow bolts and I had to haul him through miles of forest dodging soldiers and bandits and evil creatures. Good times."Your twin lifts your shirt up and winces at all the scars."Oh, God. What've you been doing!? Are those burn scars?""Well, being the head of a violent religious order isn't exactly a gentle trade.""And what's this lipstick?""That's still there?"You look down. Sure enough, a kiss mark on your stomach."That was days ago! Guess I haven't been doing much bathing since then."Your twin nods and screws her face up."I can tell. So what's the story with that lipstick?"She starts pulling out bullets and shrapnel.>Married a nice woman. You'd like her, because you're me.>I'll tell you if you tell me your story. Did you still go to U of A?>I dunno. Probably got drunk and fucked some hot chick. Or a sissy. That happened once.>Other.
>>1727945>>I'll tell you if you tell me your story. Did you still go to U of A?
>>1727945>Married a nice woman. You'd like her, because you're me.
>>1727953>>1727961Your twin nods."Well, I'm glad you're happy with that. No offense, but I hope I'm gone long before I get a chance to meet her.""None taken. She'd probably ride your ass about those cigarettes.""Like you? I can see why you'd get along."She presses on your ribs. You resist the urge to slap her in the face."Bruised, but not broken. Guess I'll bandage all this.""Hey, did you go to U of A?"She looks up in surprise."I did. How..?""I'm you.""But I thought you were... y'know. From here. Ears and stuff. Didn't think Arizona existed here.""I was born on Earth. Then some shit happened and... I'm here. By the way, if you want to keep your life normal--""Too fucking late.""--don't let any blue-haired elves stay at your house. Was Gina your roommate?""Uh... yes.""Don't worry, she seduced me, too. What did she major in?""Just kinda dropped out. I think she's working for some corporation in New York.""Ah. It's reversed for me. She was the med student.""And I seduced HER.""Oh, that must've been fun."She finishes wrapping you in bandages."There. All done.""Thanks."You stand up and look around."I feel... pretty great. Morphine rocks. Lemme see that medkit."You start digging around in it before chugging a health potion."Uh, what was that?""Health potion.""WHAT?! If you find any more, give them to me. I'm so gonna find out how to reproduce it.""Well, be careful. You can overdose. Hey, do you have anyone... special?""Saved a guy who crashed his car. We had something, but it just kinda fell apart. Glad it did now.""Why?""He was a blue-haired elf.""Ah.">Let's keep going!>Hey, let me call Tsuyoi, this thing has an imager so you can see her.>Hey, do you know anything about quantum physics? Because I'm interested in how fucked up the world's gonna be after this.>Other.
>>1728046>Let's keep going! >Want to see Tsuyoi?
>>1728066You start off down the hall, only to be stopped by a hand on your shoulder."Cool your jets, I need to make sure you don't have a concussion.""What? I don't have a concussion... I can walk and everything!""Mm-hm."Your twin shines a bright light into your eye."...dilation is fine. Gonna guess the bloodshot look is due to alcohol consumption. Make sure you cut back on that.""Fuck you, I'm gonna drink myself to death before someone else gets me!""I guess I can't stop you. Now the other one--"You grab her hand before she can pull off your eyepatch."It's fine.""Wasn't it leaking cerebral fluid?""It's all milky and gross. Trust me, you DON'T wanna see it.""Alright, fine."She backs off. You grin and pull out your codec."Wanna see Tsuyoi?""No.""Okay, after the next firefight."You replace the codec with an assault rifle/chainsaw."Let's go then. You've played video games, right?""A few...""Good. Then you know support characters are best left hiding in a closet until the fight's over. Please do that now."You run down the hall and emerge into a room full of tanks and vats. Another team of four Knights emerges from the far doorway."Oh, making all the colors fade out! You don't scare me!"You rev the gun's chainsaw."This is for Nova, you shitbags."Roll 1d20.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1729186Oh gods
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>1729186NOVA!!!!!!!!!!!
>>1729194>>1729278The Knights open fire. You knock a shelf over, scatter some papers, and hide behind a large vat.Normally, you wouldn't use this weapon. It was, quite frankly, a piece of shit. The chain gets gummed up with all the blood and gore, and the rifle itself was nothing special.A shadowy mist appears behind you, and one of the Knights steps out. You swing your chainsaw at him, taking his arm. He staggers back and grunts in pain. You take the opportunity to steal his blade and impale him with it. The Knight disappears in a wisp of shadow....against enemies like this, the chainsaw was useful. Just gotta hope it doesn't get jammed with Kevlar or something.A grenade rolls to a stop near your feet. You vault over the desk and sprint straight toward the Knights, screaming and drawing your sword. They open fire.Time actually slows down. You can visibly see their bullets streaking by...You swing your sword to deflect several, then time resumes its natural flow."REQUESTING BACKUP!" one of them shouts before you decapitate him. The other Knights draw their swords too late.You disarm the first and stab him through the gut several times, using his still-living body as a shield against his friends. As he starts to die, you kick him into his friends, knocking them over. You take your knife and pounce on the warriors, stabbing them over and over.The last one has gotten his helmet knocked off. His eyes are filled with unholy darkness.This one doesn't need any one-liners. You simply crush his skull under your boot.The color returns to the room. Good."Ah, would you look at our shining paladin? Truly a merciful figure."You turn and look up. Seems your sister set up some screens to stare at you from."I never claimed to be a good guy. Just better than you.""Well, an ethics professor would have quite the time deciding which one of us is the worst. Unfortunately, I don't have time to discuss things like that. You see, I have to deal with this mess you've brought.""All that outside? Doesn't look much different than before.""Well, it's getting out of hand. I'm pretty sure the only reason multiversal authorities haven't shown up is because they don't want to be involved in the crossfire. Either that, or there's never been a need for them before.""Interesting theory.">I'm just gonna go now. Could you direct me to your location?>Why'd you try to hire me to kill myself?>Have you forgotten about Alagos? He's here, you know. Probably about to stab you.>Other.
>>1729923Just walk out in search of her.Don't let her have time to plan escapes or anything.
>>1729923>Why'd you try to hire me to kill myself? >Also in just gonna go now. Could you direct me to Jackie please?
>>1729932"Yeah, miss me with that gay shit."You turn and start to go back for your twin. The doors to the room slam shut."I wasn't finished. Now that you've defeated two-thirds of my elite forces, you will face my most powerful--"She flips through some papers, muttering to herself."Shit... twenty-second most powerful minion!"A rift opens up in the middle of the room. Someone steps through...It's clearly a man in a dress."You send motherfucking Thomas to fight me?!""All my other minions are busy with a little something." your sister grumbles."Heeeey, girlfriend!""Oooooooh boy. This reminds me of that recurring dream where people tie me up and make me listen to Slipknot on repeat. Then I realize; I'm in Hell! EXCEPT THIS IS WORSE SOMEHOW!""Don't be such a negative Nancy!"Oh God, he's even doing the lisp..."I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS RANCID SHIT."Roll 1d20.
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>1729945Taze him in the testicles.Then finish him off.
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>1729945
>>1729953https://youtube.com/watch?v=pQOu2d0L1qEOh gods, is that his BOSS MUSIC?!"Take this, you... bitch-bastard!"You hurl a bolt of lightning at your opponent. He jumps slightly and giggles. Fuck, his testes are gone!"Ooh! Kinky! Here, have some of mine!"He hurls several small needles. They penetrate your armor but only poke your skin a little."...huh?""I've used those before! Congratuations on contracting HIV!""MOTHERFUCKER, WHAAAAAAAT?"Game Over.Krystal proceeded to kill everyone before dying of AIDS....You hold your shield up and block the needles. You know the drill, this shit was probably used."Aww. What a shame! Come here, let me give you a little kissy! MMMMMMMMM""Oh HELL no!"You keep him at bay with your sword.Roll another d20.I pour my soul into these mini-bosses, if you couldn't tell.
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>1729961Are you okay op? I'm concerned nowAnd I'm also going to bed
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1729961Lets give him some chainsaw lovin.
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>1729977Pls no.
>>1729979Hope you feel better.Awoo to lighten your spirits
>>1729974>>1729977>>1729982 (eh, fuck it. Success)"Have some of this, you'll feel better!"He conjures a ball of blue crystals and hurls them at you. You sidestep it and frown at the projectile as it shatters against the ground."...is this crystal meth?""YEEEEES! Here, have some more!"You roll behind a tank of greenish-yellow liquid to avoid his needles before popping up and throwing a knife."GAAAAAAAAHhhhhhh..."...huh?You peek through the tank. He could be faking it.No, he isn't! You actually got him with that! You weren't even THINKING when you threw it!"Well, I guess I'll put you out of your misery."You pull out your shotgun and walk up to the tranny's body. He grabs your leg and stares up at you with desperate eyes."I must... tell you... my life story...""I'm good. Hey, did anyone tell you you look better in red?"You blast his head off and go back for your twin before continuing onward."...why is there a headless corpse in a dress?">It was like that when I got here.>He started it.>Fucking tranny shot heroin needles and crystal meth at me.>Other.
>>1729983>>1729987I'm perfectly fine, just havin' a giggle.Although I have to entertain a bunch of guests at my house and they'll probably have many annoying questions for me.
>>1730573I was out for most of the day up until now>Fucking tranny shot heroin needles and crystal meth at me.
>>1730577Just lock yourself in your bathroom and claim your taking a bath the whole time they're there op, that works for me :^)
>>1730971"Oh. Well, I see you had a fun time."You give her a suspicious look."You haven't done any of 'those' surgeries, right?""God no. Done open-heart, though. And I had to untangle some idiot's testicles."You continue through the next door."Hey, I have this mole on my arm. You think it might be a tumor?""Let me see... that's blood, ma'am.""Oh."...You slowly lift your head and wince at the glare. Godsdamned sun...Wait, that isn't the sun. That's a fire!Oh, shit... the helicopter crashed!You unbuckle yourself from the copilot's seat and make your way to the back. Upon seeing what's outside, you pause and stay very still. The helicopter is teetering on some sort of sky bridge between two sections of the fortress. Moving too far in either direction would make it topple over.You take a deep breath before leaping out the door. The movement finally causes the wreck to fall over, one of the blades just barely slicing the air above your head."O-okay..."You look down and instantly regret it. Long, LOOOONG way down. That window's open, so if you can just--The roof of the sky bridge collapses, dumping you inside."TARGET SIGHTED!"You roll to the side as gunfire rips the floor up where you'd previously been."Come ON! Give me a break!"A soldier rounds the corner. You blast him in the face with ethereal daggers, rip the grenade off his belt, throw it into the room he came from, and sprint for the other end of the sky bridge.You make it to the other end before the whole thing shudders and falls into the abyss."Oh, gods...">Any friendlies around?>Press forward. Your child's still in danger.>See if you can listen in on any radio chatter.>Other.
>>1731041>Press forward. Your child's still in danger. >GIVE ME MY CHIIIIIIIIILD BACK YOU BIIIIIITCH>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>1731064You kick down the nearest door and throw a grenade at the occupants."WHERE IS HEEEEEEEEEE"One of them manages to get clear before it detonates. You grab him by the collar and start the interrogation."WHEREISHEWHEREISHEWHEREISHEWHEREISHEEEEEEEEEE""Contact, I've got a hostile in--"You knock his helmet off."WHERE IS HE??""W-where is who?""MY CHILD I AM NOTHING WITHOUT MY CHILD HAVE YOU SEEN MY CHILD CHILD CHILD.""I-I've seen the Prophet with an infant. She usually keeps him near--""REEEEEEEEEEEEE"You blast his head off and run down the hall. That fucking bitch thinks she's his mommy!"I'M THE MOMMY NOW!"Someone opens the door and stares you down."You'll go no further, intruder!"It's Rorogan, your brother. He betrayed the Order. Maybe because you bullied him.You take off your helmet and return his stare. He steps back in shock."Aisha..? Why are you here!? They said you were--"So they have an insider."I'm better now. Succubi recover faster from that sort of thing.">Brother... why?>Move aside. I don't want to kill you.>YOU HELPED HER TAKE HIM! DIDN'T YOU!>You can take this up with Dad. (D20)>Other.
New thread, btw.>>1732073