Oh shit nigger you're on an adventure or some shit. Choose your class.
>>16860what's in the mystery box?
A thief, I'm niggarous of Welfara
>>16864what mystery box
>>16860>>16873Can we have Thief's retarded half-brother, Thi4f instead?
>>16873the one in the bottom right cornerchoose that one
>>16877But there's nothing here
>>16875Hello, I'm niggarous. How might you? You look a bit dimwitted.
>>16881it moved! after it
>>16890top left corner get it!
>>16890Select top left corner
>>16898The box reveals some more classes
>>16904bu there is another in the top right I want that
>>16904select top right corner
>>16884Niggarous chased after "it". He might not know what it is but has never stopped him before, for he once plundered an entire store in Furguston. Nothing can out run him! *Rolling to catch up*
>>16914Mucha Lucha the Wrestler enters the party.
>>16914wrestler lock in
>>16914weeaboo, his quest will be to make anime real.
>>16919Ya sure about that m8
>>16926no weeaboo lock in
>>16926yes lock in
>>16919Greetings, beaner! I am Niggarous. From where do you hail, mu'nika?
>>16929"I hail from the evil, discarded land of Chihuahua, Mexico. Y tu?"
>>16928Now, choose your quest
Sellsword, Frogle Denkrieg
>>16936"I do not understand, could you speak a bit more clearly, your accent, it be horrendous." He stops and sizes Mucha Lucha up and ponders on the day that the mighty will finally rise.
>>16942BECOME NUMBAH ONE CHAMP.
>>16942BECOME THE CHAMP
>>16942Numbah Juan champ!
>>16948Right, you're a wrestler on a quest to harrass some peasants. One final thing, what's your name? Do you wanna keep the name Mucha Lucha or do you want something else. Like Bob from Accounting.
>>16950"Is there something wrong with your cabeza? Open your ears, chango." Mucha folds his arms in discontent to Niggarous' ignorance.
>>16962Paul from Marketing
>>16962how about Loose Vernon
>>16962Change the name to Fetus Man
>>16969Ya sure m8
>>16962I think this nigger is ignoring the rest of us.
>>16974no make him >>16968and an orc
>>16974Now I go forth and become champ.
>>16974Nah, Fetus man lock in
>>16979Yes a champ, at harrassing peasants.Look there,s a peasant right there, ripe for ahrrassing.
>>16986give the peasant a good dicking in the ass
>>16986throw him into the ring
>>16986Caress his nipples with my strong hands.
>>16986Niggarous grand his trusty black Dingus, a black sword, and swings at the peasants head.
>>16989"Please sir, do not touch my ass"
>>16986fondle his nuts
>>17000touch it, upset him
>>17000finger ass's ass
>>17000Pet the ass.
>>17000Ask him to witness these trips
>>17007"But that's a 7"
>>17013hah fooled you! suplex him
>>17013"Not with that attitude."Then suplex
>>17026Punch self in face
>>17026pull dagger out of asshole and stick it in my forehead
>>17026Put foot on top of him, and claim his land.
>>17029Why would you have an dagger in your asshole, anon? That's pretty weird
>>17037surprise cameo appearance
>>17037Punch that peasant for looking at me funny.
>>17038"HEre, peasant. Have some free gold from your generous king!"
Oh yay. NaP!
>>17037the jews did this
>>17044pee on him
>>17044Challenge king to bout for the throne.
>>17044do the same!
>>17049YOu pee on the peasant
>>17057Everyone laughs at your small penis
>>17057Remove peasent's pants
>>17057as it turns out, the piss brings back life to the peasant
>>17057your dick falls off and peasant eats it turning him into a savage werewolf that furiously masturbates onto your face
>>16914Barbarian. We Hybrorian now.
>>17059Being laughed at by peasants, truly the mighty has fallen
>>17072Release your true form, John Cena.
>>17072Arrest them for bullying.
>>17072Paladins arrest you
>>17072you attempt to pull out another dagger from your asshole and cut your dick off
>>17072suplex them all
>>17077I love that your ID says 'd+ck' its like a warning
>>17087Steal their shit.
>>17087Consume them all
>>17087You cant hide from the truth. Seek the witch for male enhancement
>>17083top zozzle anon, i love that your ID says '46TpPbkY'. its like random numbers and stuff
>>17089Why would you want to steal their shit? Do you have a scat fetish anon? You can tell us, this is a safe place.
>>17096it all started when I was 5. My uncle billy was a plumber and...
>>17096Punch him in the no-face so hard his head flies off.
>>17096no place is safe, from your evil rival! not Mucha toodooa
>>17096Suplex anon for being a dumb nigger
>>17094I'm kidding bro, sorry bahahah.
>>17098Yes, tell us more
>>17110Offer him a beverage.
>>17110Anon suplexes him.
>>17110give him mess and send him on his way
>>17117Suddenly anon suplexes you!
>>17124Suck his dick
>>17124It was revealed that he is the king of peasants, Plebmore.He reveals his true intent.
>>17124anon becomes the big bad
>>17110Once upon time uncle billy told me to hold his doo-doo and then my peepee got really big and i lieked doo-doo for some reason then my uncle saw me and he touch my peepee then it got bigger and bigger until it sprayed white stuff all over and uncle billy mixed it with his doodoo and smeared it all over his face.
>>17142time travel by jumping onto peasant cocks and go all the way back to uncle billy time and suck hiss dick
>>17148snap him like a slim jim
>>17166Now that's dealt with find more peasants.
>>17166you're a piece of shit
>>17166Pound him into pudding
>>17166put him the friendzone
>>17175Note: results may vary
>>17184find and harass his mother
>>17189After killing anon, you find anon's mother. Who may or may not be another anon in a wig
>>17195Fucking run away, that's the face of evil.
>>17195Women do not exist in this peasant town. Kill the crossdresser
>>17195Offer her some flowers to apologize for hurting her son
>>17195fucc that mom
>>17206"Sorry, but your dick is too small"
>>17208Suplex the town
>>17208GIVE HER THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW
>>17208say you're sorry!
>>17208who says with my dick?
>>17215"Okay, strange small-dicked man with non-existent sexual prowess"
These numbers seem to only add up in this thread. Should we diceroll?
>>17221Leave my small peepee out of this
>>17221cry and masturbate
>>17221no she needs to say it,then pout
>>17221Ask her what happened to her eyes
>>17229"lol okay insecure faggot" the anon's mom leaves>>17223I just pick the highest last digit in a minute since the first reply
>>17235new quest: find a way to increase dick size
>>17235become pesant killer
>>17239This, but have the other quest also active.
>>17239"Oh, then I have the perfect product for you!" says the friendly merchant
>>17244He looks suspicious.Drop a penny and watch his reaction.
>>17244JUDEN!GENOCIDE THE THE BIG NOSED MAN
>>17244Go super saiyanGo even further beyond
>>17247The happy merchant immediately collects the penny."So, are you interested? I got a special potion just for men like you!"
>>17256Suplex him, take potion and his shekels.
>>17256can we afford it?
>>17259"But of course my friend! This special MALE ENHANCER potion will surely make your...ahem..grow bigger! Only at the cheap affordable price of 5 gold coins!"You have 6 gold coins
>>17267spend the gold and drink the potion
>>17267Make him drink it.
>>17267I'll take it it!
>>17267"But I don't even have an ahem"
>>17267Steal potion, drink quickly and beat him over the head with the bottle
>>17269"Ah! You want a demonstration! Of course! See! It totally works!"
>>17276Rip off his pants to reveal the truth
>>17276Ask if it has a side effect to make you Jewish
>>17284Attempt to supplex his nosedick.
>>17284So it does work. Buy it
>>17284Hitler shows up
>>17284steal his hat and his money.
>>17289You bought the potion
>>17298Enhance it with your wrestling magic
>>17298Deink it, but it makes your mask bigger.
>>17298Read behind the potion.
>>17309Now find someone to drink it in front of to impress them
>>17309now you get a nose dick with a mustache
>>17309Eat the whole thing, glass will make you stronger.
>>17309suplex the whole thing into your mouth
>>17319Your dick grew 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 mmYou also gain +1 HP from the glass
>>17327You also level up due to your wrestle enhancing done to it
>>17327Threaten to sue the merchant and call your lawyer.
>>17327Chase Jew wizard
>>17327Chase down and suplex the happy merchant.
>>17334"AHAHA! STUPID GOYIM! I SAID IT WOULD HAVE MADE YOUR DICK BIGGER. BUT I DIDN'T SAY BY HOW MUCH!" and then merchant wizard zaps away
>>17340Remove mask, shave any facial hair into a small square on your upper lip.
>>17340Wrestle magic flying leap! Chase!
>>17340Fuck reality, jump and chase him.
>>17340new quest wrestle wizards and bug peasants
>>17340Realize that a growth of 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 mm has actually quadrupled your penis size and that's actually a large increase
>>17349"Isn't that just a testament to how incredibly small your dick is though"
>>17352Suplex him. Steal his dick.
>>17352Boast about your new large dick to him
>>17356"C'mon man, even a toothpick is larger than that"
>>17352Dong begins expanding exponentially, punching the peasant in his stupid face
>>17363Steal his dick
>>17363Begin your quest for a larger dick
>>17363Find the world's largest toothpick.
>>17367Bang, zoom, straight to the moon!
>>17364Your frustration caused you to suplex yourself
>>17379Begin quest. Do not cry!
>>17379Final Boss Fight: Yourself
>>17379Study uromancy so we can make a real wiener potion.
>>17384Ah yes. After suplexing yourself. You were knocked out and went into your own mid to battle your own crippling sense of insecurity
>>17390realise that your shadow has a huge dick.
>>17390Eat him to gain his powers.
>>17390It has no dick
>>17396"Of course, I am you after all"
>>17399Laugh at that anon.
>>17399eat him to gain his dick powers!
>>17399"AHAH, THEN YOU HAVE MY ONE WEAKNESS!"Throw peanuts at him. After all, you're allergic to those.
>>17399Unveil his mask
>>17399Cry a lot
>>17399erase him from existence
>>17405actually this, remember to wear gloves
>>17415start crying together
>>17415Combine together, and notice that your dick has grown by half.
>>17431Why are our dicks so small
so is /qst/ working out or what?can't get used to having IDs and what not
>>17431Your mutual grief causes you to fuse and combine your powers for the greater good.
>>17443I forgot to even look at the id's
>>17438"I dunno bro, I jsut dunno"
>>17449sad sex : initiate
>>17449get surgery or have your gene spliced, then
>>17449Attempt to woo dream women together
>>17461Measure your new dicksize
>>17461Fuse into super sumo
>>17461not much difference0.1 + 0 is still 0.1 size of dick
>>17467You despair even more
>>17474Maybe it's time you end yoursselfPull out gun
>>17483Shoot a peasant in the knee to make you feel better.
>>17483see a real wizard to splice your dick with an dragon's dick
>>17483Don't you dare to it, there's more to life than sexual satisfaction.After all, you can always conquer the world.
>>17483Hey look. A meme skeleton
>>17483Shoot yourself in the butt so that the bullet makes your dick longer from the inside
>>17487Oh okay.You put away your mind gun
>>17483Wait pull it out again
>>17493now conquer the world
>>17493PERSONASHOOT SELF IN HEAD
>>17493new questbecome a woman magically to escape shame
>>17493Wake up. Yes you can wake up
>>17493Crippling indecision makes your penis smaller
This is getting boring
>>17493wrestle some wizards
>>17498You woke up from your self-induced coma
>>17507>>17497>>17502well this is a /qst/ testing quest anyway
>>17507You knocked your head during >>17026Your penis is fine.
>>17507Your penis has grown 5 feet!
>>17507You were abducted by paladin aliens
>>17509Then you must find a wizard willing to help you
>>17514find the sex-change witch instead
>>17514You are a wizard
>>17522ask him if he can sex change you
>>17522Suplex them until they give you a bigger dick.
>>17522They give you a sex change oddly its a 3rd option from male or female
Suplex a passing dragon, with gusto.
>>17527"That's heresy. We'll have to purge you if you keep pursuing that"
Punch the alien in the face.
>>17538Demand a bigger dick, then.
>>17539NIgga you're not a paladin nor do you have access to holy powers
>>17549Respec as paladin
>>17549You get probed
>>17549Use your lucha powers to emulate holy powers.
>>17549Forget this bs and go to fight some dumb nigger in an arena to get hot chix
Take off your mask to reveal you were the ? box from the beginning
>>17555And so you are thrown into an alien arena to fight for their amusement.Your first opponent: some spiky alien
>>17562Suplex it. Then eat it to gain its power of spikes.
>>17562laugh at his non existent dick to make yourself feel better.
>>17562Arm wrestle him
>>17569The spikes are his dicks.
>>17569At which point it unsheathes its spikedick
>>17573It stabs you with it
>>17573That's not real dick!
>>17573Suplex its dick.
>>17573Show him your dick so that he loses his erection and then chop off his dick
>>17578"Realer than yours" it's mocking you now
>>17586Suplex spike dick
>>17586Suplex him. Wear him as a full-body condom.
>>17588"What dick? Yours is literally too small for me or anyone to see"
>>17597Start stroking it
>>17599Yes. Start stroking the spiky alien.
>>17597he didn't lose his errection, he must be gay!laugh at him for being gay like it's 1984
>>17599"Why are you rubbing the air?"
>>17605Move closer while stroking it. Look him in the eyes.Don't say "no homo."
>>17605>>17607this, but say no homo
>>17605Punch self in face
>>17612Stroke his... pecs or whatever he has. Compliment his spikes.Don't say "no homo."
>>17612Grab his horns and knee in face
>>17615"This is getting weird so I'm just going to kill you now"
>>17621Suplex him.Whisper "no homo."
>>17621Keep rubbing him and remember to not say "No homo"
>>17621Blind him with your semen, because of your microdick it travels faster.
>>17507new quest: Your journey proceeds to an old brothel in the middle of a busy middle-east suburb.
>>17625But it also only managed to fly a little bit infront of you because your tiny dick can only shoot it out with so much force. You then received punch
>>17631Suplex the audience
>>17631The punch has caused you gain like 10 levels because you had so little experience
>>17638You are immediately knocked out. Death will come shortly after
>>17631That's wrong, though.If it travels with a large speed it also travels faster, plus microdicks are always pointing slightly upwards when erect.
>>17644Wake up in a hospital bed, missing an arm
>>17644Alien Paladin revives you. You are now another species.
>>17644Suplex the darkness.
>>17644What's the news on the rialto?
>>17649"Whoops, sorry about that. You got your ass beat so hard that we could only recover some part of you and put it in a tiny robot head"
>>17659Can you put me in a robot body with a big dick
>>17659jump off table and explore surroundings
>>17659Ask for some sort of wheels or belt modifications to move around.
>>17659Attach new robot head to gundam body
>>17665You can't. Since you're just a head, you can't really move.
>>17671Vibrate off the table.
>>17671wake up from this dream
>>17671scream until something happens
>>17678CANT WAKE UPBecause you're not freaming you silly billy
>>17684Ask for modifications in the form of belts/wheels and arms/clippers.
>>17684Paladin puts you a body out of carbdoard boxes
>>17689"Because I'm so nice, I'll even give you wheels to move around with"
>>17693find the nearest general store
Seduce Rosie the maid
>>17693Paladin secrets holy piss onto box
>>17693start your new life as a supervillan
>>17699YOu have now decided to become a supervillain[dramatic music]
>>17693Say I never asked for this.
>>17705The paladin purges you
>>17705Paladin stares you down and you correct yourself *super anti-hero
>>17705Get a super evil robot dick.
>>17705invest in Claw upgrade Dump cha
>>17705Make sure spikedick pays the price
>>17709"Because, you know, If you were actually a super villain. We'll have to destroy you. ayy lmao"
>>17717Run the paladin over and assimilate his body.
>>17717roll away from paladin
>>17717You are trained on star cruiser duties
>>17722"Right, first use this aparatus to remove any and all unwanted contaminations"Basically they want you to clean up the dust in the ship
>>17729I wanna be wrestler again :(
>>17729Consume computer parts so you can grow a new body.
Corral a giant dust bunny into the heat sink of the ships Main Cpu.>>17729
>>17737Clearly your life has lost all meaning when you can't suplex thigns anymore. So you kille yourself
>>17729Crash the ship with no survivors
>>17729find random parts in the ship and decide whether or not to attach them on yourself
>>17743Suplex grim reaper into letting you come back.
>>17743Robots don't die. They just get uploaded.You're now software on the alien server.
>>17743Your parts are revived a thousand years in the future
>>17749But then it turns out the Grim Reaper was the World Heavyweight Champion and defeated you with a clean pinfall victory
>>17762You wake up back on the operating tableYou are now a robot again, but an even shittier one
>>17762Your soul is then put in a jar
>>17768And so ends the life of Muchaaaaaaaa Lucha, harrasser of peasants and small dicked suplex man. Time for a new protag to suffer through the madness.
>>17762Special cameo by Simon. He's disgusted and leaves immediately
>>17779You are paladin
>>17779Paladin alien get
>>17779Wizard specializing in Uromancy.
Felt hat the Wizard Lock in>>17779
>>17786Search Planes for Unlimited Cheese Plane
>>17786What kinda wizard are you though
>>17793Portal wizard Summoner locked in
>>17798Also Warforged FTW lock in
Robot Uromancer/Portalist wizard.
>>17798You are now the portal wizard. Your power is to make portals to various places
>>17810Open a portal all the way to the beginning of spacetime
>>17810Make two portals in front of each other and break the universe.
>>17810Time to go to bikini model islandYeah.
>>17810Make a portal back in time and save Muchaaaaa Lucha.
>>17810open portal into a time of superfuture
>>17810Open a portal to OP's house
>>17810portal to my wife's son's house
>>17810Open a Profitable waste disposal buisness
>>17810use portals to shit on the kings head.
>>17819Ah yes, the superfuture. It's the future where everyone has superpowers
>>17826That's annoying, skip a bit to the hyperfuture
>>17826chekc your dick size
>>17826Open a portal into their genes and absorb their powers through a portal into your genes.
>>17826Cough on someone there and release a super plague with your otherworldly germs.
>>17826So time travel is possible? Kill younger self and cause a paradox.
>>17826>>17828Actually skip to the ultrafuture.
>>17826lets look at 10 minutes in the future
>>17833fuck no, skip to the quantumfuture
>>17831Once you have exposed countless worlds portal to a necromancer version of yourself for a team up.
>>17829It's an appropriate size for a wizard
>>17837That is, non-existent.
>>17837Character customization screen
>>17837Skip to omegafuture
>>17837Skip to being horny and spying on nude girls
>>17837Open portal to >>17793Become uromancer. Become big dick mystic.
>>17839Of course, it's not like you're gonna use it anyway, being a wizard and all.
Summon Cheese golem
>>17851Invite player two
>>17851Summon portal to hell
>>17837Skip to alternative future where your alternative self has a much bigger penis than you, murder him, then open a portal to transfer your mind to his body.
>>17851Open portal to >>17779Become thief.
>>17851Open mystery box
>>17867PULL HIM OUT
>>17867RESCUE Mucha Lucha! Then make a portal to Plane of Dick Growth.
>>17867Save Muchaaaaa Lucha from Hell.
>>17867Make Muchaaaaaa Lucha your companion
Portal randomly until you find something neat
>>17867Offer saving him in exchange from becoming your apprentice.Should he refuse he will know a fate worse than eternal hell.
>>17867You should go to a dimension inhabited by skeletons and drama
>>17874You pull out the strange masked man from hell
>>17881Take off the mask quickly!
>>17879But we only just got out of /tg/.>>17881Tell him you're on a quest for cock magic.
Plane of elemental viagra
>>17892Open a portal to a magical realm!
>>17881Make a portal to heaven and toss him in there.The dead should not be forcibly brought back to life.
>>17892Imagine being able to summon dozens of cocks for free, and then frying them up. KFC for days, guy!
>>17892Give a reassurimg thumbs up
>>17892sell his soul to asmudeus for larger peen
>>17894Oh shit it's OP's house
>>17912Pull him through the portal.
>>17912steal his nems
>>17912Ask him for clues on how to achieve the perfect cock magic.
>>17912flip him off
>>17912Throw Mucha Lucha into the portal, quick!>>17919Plot for world domination through low self-esteem via chemicals that reduce dick size
>>17918You got some nems. Strange pork wrapped in leaves
>>17930Gotta get that poak bun!
>>17930Eat for magic boost
>>17930give him dah bird
>>17930open a portal to some muslims and throw the pork at them
>>17930Portal to /tg/
>>17930OP takes wizard hat in exchange
>>17930Give them to Mucha Lucha, open a portal to chef planet, toss Mucha Lucha in there while bidding good luck.
>>17930Make OP perform cock magic.
>>17945Throw mucha lucha in there and then eat your poak buns
>>17945Go to /qst/
>>17945wizard wonders why so many dick jokes
>>17945Establish portal as public toilet and refuse dump.
>>17957Find own thread
>>17957Quick get to that quest thing
>>17957Go into Quest thing.
>>17957Shitpost until you get banned
>>17957find not a pally thread
>>17968Damn, look at this shitter
>>17973Now pull the thief out.
Once at NaP thread, throw Lucha into the portal as he has been character selected. We now know where OPs characters come from.>>17973
>>17973make dick till it isn't funny any more
>>17973Shitpost in it, it's a stupid thread
>>17973REealise thread is controlling your life.next post shows you future.
>>17978It was you all along!
>>17973Find yourself. Tell him to never give up hope.
>>17988Proceed to post the next drawing
>>17988Prevent the happy merchant from flying off.
>>17988mind is blown
>>17988It was. Bwahah
>>18005Pat yourself on the back
>>18005It all crumbles
>>18005Kill the happy merchant and take his place.
>>18005tell yourself that lump needs to be looked at
It was Me Dio!
>>18018"Here, let me help you with that"
>>18005Set up portal from bottom of toilet to top of some important statue of some important figure.
>>18023It's fucking cancer! Go to a fucking hospital right fucking now you fucking faggot!
>>180232 center mass rest in the face
>>18023Aim for it's nose. It's a big target. Can't miss.
>>18028"No need"Then you were shot to death by Portal Wizard 2 for knowing too much. Game Over
>>18038Infinite time loop break and the thread tears itself apart
>>18038Follow wizard 2 and attend the intergalactic interdimensional, timeless association of the wizards who have transcended space-time (IITAWWHTST)
>>18038select orc business man
>>18005So fucking meta
>>18048"lmao"And now other protag
>>18057Scroll down, looks like there's more options
>>18057I select hat
>>18057Upper-right ghost dude.
>>16860>knight>wizard>thiefI can't decide
>>18075Scroll down more
>>180752nded orc buiness man
>>18075Golem! Protect the jews from the dirty heathens!
>>18079Ya sure m8
>>18086Nah, golem and lock in
>>18086Paladin lock in
>>18099YOu are now the Paladin. Your job is to purge evil and keep the land safe, yadda yadda yadda. Watch out for necros!
>>18086 coinjoined orc golem buisness partners lock in
>>18109Distribute Stat points
>>18109Watch out for negros.
>>18109check dick size lawl
>>18109Go on quest to eradicate evil (niggers)
>>18119It's about the size of a greatsword. Probably why the evil undead hate you so much.A lich and his band of skeletons look at you angrily as you thought this aloud
>>18129Hey look! A weeabo skeleton!
>>18129By the power of Greyskull!
>>18129purge them all
>>18129Time to distribute your stat points
>>18137"FUCK YOUUUU PALADIN" the lich screamed as he makes his escape back to his crypt
>>18129"You got a boner for this polished sword? GAAAAAAY"
>>18149Scream holy words at him
>>18149Catch that necro!
>>18149Erect your mighty pork sword to seal the crypt.
>>18166jump on your mighty steed and catch that spawn of hell
>>18166Hey OP or anyone, does this board not auto update?
>>18166Cast resurrect on loch and make him a normal man ( or woman, whatever)
>>18166can we go back to /v/? this place is boring
>>18166kill everything>>18171Happens sometimes. Clear cookies and try again.
>>18166set it on holy fire
>>18166Get on your sanctified harley and ride the lich down."DEUS VULT!"
>>18171Works fine fer me
>>18175But who's Loch though
>>18195A cute little girl you've known since childhood
>>18195LOC DOGGIE. SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
>>18195>he doesn't know Loch
>>18197Oh, that Loch
>>18208put her on your shoulders, open a portal to disneyland
>>18208Guide Loch on banishing skeletors like this guy
>>18208Cast Loch at Lich
>>18208she's your paladin apprentice
>>18208Steal Loch and make her your loli companion
When I switch tabs I get a countdown that gets stuck on 1 and the countdown restarts when I switch back and forth. I also already cleared cookies and shit and restarted browser. It's very weird.
>>18223She murderizes him
>>18229"Wait, what are you do--OH GOD NOOOO--"
>>18223Lich is actually your wife. Loch is your child.She grew mad when she couldn't get that sweet paladin dick.
>>18242Pat her on the helmet for doing a good job at purging evil.
Any, OP and friends, enjoy this shitty gif I made. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zLfCnGVeL4
>>18242Paladin learns to fly with money
>>18248You can now fly. It's powered by the money you're carrying.>>18246Nice
>>18254Call up the pope and tell him to prep a wine and taco party for our success.
>>18225Actually I wasn't getting the issue before but now I am after you mentioned it. DID YOU DO THIS?>>18254Loch learns to fly too
>>18258"Yeah sure whatever"
>>18260Pope ties his mustache into bow
>>18260You and Loch show up to the wine and taco party only to find no one else showed up
>>18260popes do not have beards
>>18260No one righteous would be so unenthused by a wine and taco party! The pope has fallen and we must smite him! Deus Vult!
>>18268"What? It's our sacred relic, the Holy Beard"
>>18274suplex impostor pope
>>18274This nigga looks like he's about to give us a pokedex
>>18274The pope decides to award you a beard of strength in the ceremony that flollows.
>>18285reveal that he is in fact a skeleton
>>18285Tear off his skin to reveal a skeleton underneath.
>>18294His name is Holy Bones
>>18294Cast Loch on him
>>18294STEAL HIS HUMERUS AND MAKE YOUR ESCAPE DOWN THE CARPAL LANE!
>>18294Tell skeleton puns to hurt him.
>>18323SMITE AND CLEAVE
>>18323Demand he tell you the location of the real pope.
>>18323Smite him. Keep his skull as a souvenir and threaten to do righteous things to him if he doesn't lead us to the real pope.
>>18329"THEN YOU'D HAVE TO DEFEAT ME FIRST!"
>>18339You find out he's the real pope. His sockets glow a holy light
>>18339Defeat him first.
>>18339hit him with the holy hammer (your penis)
>>18339get ready to fight
>>18339Epic fight while his skelly henchmen play trumpets
>>18358Defeat him first.
>>18358LOCH AND LOADED
>>18358UPPERCUT HIS HEAD OFF
>>18369Show off your massive...greatsword!
>>18358purge him, duh
>>18369He's resisting your uppercut!
>>18381Holy Bones uppercuts paladin
>>18381While he's distracted, Loch hits him from behind for crit backstab damage
>>18381pop bubble and cast some spells to fuck him up
>>18381Kick him in his boner.
>>18386>casting spells while bubbled
>>18381UPPERCUT HIM WITH THE STRENGTH OF LOCH
>>18386Holy Bones used Divine Necro Shield! All your spells were useless!
>>18393you can heal while bubbled cant you?seems only fair he can cast some other spell too
>>18409Make fun of his missing schlong.
>>18409Release the hounds while he's distracted.
>>18409Step into bubble and pummel him with greatsword.
>>18409Double attack with Loch to break the shield
>>18409Holy Bones casts fist!
>>18409summon your companions
>>18419WHICH CONSISTS OF: -Loch, the little paladin girlAnd that's it really. You didn't have time to form a bigger party when you went off to purge that lich.
Is it only me or updating the thread works shitty?
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>18424Holy Bones summons his companions!
>>18424oh boy. throw Loch at HOLY BONES?
>>18424Loch casts Gun and purifies Holy Bones with holy lead.
>>18424Loch uses pon pons to increase your strength
>>18424Sic loch at him, she attacks with a fury not known to man no beast
>>18429Pope Holy Bones summons a Skeleton Paladin
>>18450His name is Pally Bones
>>18450wouldnt skele pally be a death knight.if he is a REAL paladin he would be fighting against HOLY BONES
>>18450Defeat the Skelly Pally and Holy Bones with the power of love, by kissing Loch
>>18450Everyone compares dicks.
>>18456"Dude why are you fighting the pope?" asked Pally Bones
>>18462Convince him Holy Bones is the undead scourge of the land
>>18462because paladins hate undead things duh???
>>18462Its then you realize you yourself are a skeleton amd that OP tricked us all.
>>18468THE POST OF SATAN. IT'S POST 666. LEAVETH THY THREAD
>>18462Skeletons must die
>>18462I FUCKING HATE POP MUSIC, THATS WHY
>>18478He was the 666th post in this thread.When is the bump limit anyway?
>>18468NO! IT CANNOT BE!"Calm down man. You know how when Necromancers raise the dead it's evil and wrong but when Paladins resurrect people it's totally cool? That's what happened with us. Do you not remember your resurrection?"
>>18483So i was. Neat.
>>18486"Dude you literally resurrected Loch just a few posts ago"
>>18486Everyone worships Holy Bones. Holy Bones adventure when?
>>18486Remember your resurrection. You were playing Twister in the afterlife
>>18486Resist skeletal temptation towards the heretical bone antipope.
>>18495>0 FUCKING DMG
>>18486Does that mean Loch is a little skeleton girl?
>>18486you realize you are already dead, end of the game
>>18493Yes...it's all coming back to you now. You were a paladin, fighting the skeleton horde. But unfortunately you were eventually killed and wento to the afterlife playing twister with other paladin spirits. But was then resurrected, unfortunately the resurrection's holy light was too strong and burned your flesh off
>>18519Can you turn me back into a human?
>>18519So you're not really a skeleton, you're just missing skin! Try to find a way to restore yourself.
>>18519Proceed to drink milk
>>18526Take the pope's skin. He's not using it.
>>18519Decide all skeletons must die and kill them anywaysBecome Punished Paladin
>>18519Convince other paladin that holy bones is fraud pope, and have Loch back you up on this.
>>18529And since you're a skeleton, it didn't really do anything
>>18519Wait, the pope still pretty much already confessed he's fake when you started fighting. We keep fighting to save the real pope.
>>18540Find a way to restore yourself to your former holy glory.
>>18540We still having that taco party though, right?
>>18540Evisicerate the pope and his minionEven now, skeletons are an abomination
>>18540Join Holy Bones
>>18540>>18542ThisIt's all an illusion
>>18545"Well that's easy, why didn't you just ask" said Pope Holy Bones as he returns you into human form
>>18540Start playing an instrument. Make it the TromBONE.
>>18569But why are you a skeleton
>>18569Restore the Pope to his former glory
>>18569Holy Bones buys drinks for everyone. Shirly Temple for Loch
>>18569smite HOLY BONES
>>18578And he also gave you that taco and wine party he promised. Pope Holy Bones then revealed he too was resurrected with burned off flesh like you. He just likes to switch between human and skeleton forms to fuck with people,
>>18591Proceed to abduct Mucha Lucha
>>18591This is all very weirdSuddenly real skeletons poop out of the ground and you all have to fight them
>>18591Happy End save game
>>18591have a good laugh with HOLY BONES
>>18599Such is a regular friday night for the Holy Order
>>18611Turn into a bear
>>18611Fade to black as credits start to roll
>>18611Pally Bones is fighting a skeledragon!
Friendly reminder of the 750 bump limit.
>>18632Holy Pope tames the dragon with his BONEr
>>18632Loch is fighting Mucha Lucha who also rose up with the skeletons
You wreck the dragon's dick
>>18632We shoot a bow at the dragon!
>>18540realize your new goal is to kill every skeleton to become top-skele
>>18639The Holy Order now has a holy skeletal dragon, because why not.The undead claims "HAX" but was promptly ignored
>>18664God seems confused
>>18664Seduce skeletal dragon
>>18664Skeletal Mucha Lucha joins the fight
>>18664Our glorious hero suddenly faints.
>>18664LOCH AND LOADED
>>18679Suddenly. You faint
>>18664EAT THE CELEBRRATION TACOS ALREADY
>>18691You wake up in a hospital surrounded by Loch, the Pope,and Pally Bones
>>18691Wake up from dream, remember you are a peasant
>>18664You awakened by Loch throwing holy water on you
>>18664We Dragon's Dogma now
>>18699Woops meant to quote >>18691
>>18696Loch disagrees with this cheap cop out and wakes you up
>>18709"Are you a skeleton too?"
>>18709Use this opportunity to respec your skill points
>>18709Someone drew a penis on your face
>>18709D-do you have tacos?
>>18719And how would you like to do that?
something something where is zebra
>>18730Put it all into "Player"
>>18730Make a new category called "dick length" and put all the points there
>>18749That's good, I'm not sure what that means, but save those stats
>>18749Now go pick up paladin chicks
>>18749Add more skill points.
>>18749You go to the nearby town to pick up skelly hotties, because you're a "player"
>>18749What is our name?
>>18773Respec Loch's skill points too
>>18773Change "Player" to "playah"
>>18773check special skills
>>18773Go purge some pussy
>>18784Change Heal to "Meal"
>>18784rob a white lady
>>18788You are now not only a paladin who easily woos women, but also a terrible cook.
>>18796Alright save those stats