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/qst/ - Quests


You wake up in medieval village per usual, or it would be if not for the fact that everything is either charred or on fire... But that's besides the point the point is that you are totally going to find out why your childhood home was served well done last night, and to do that your going to have to GO ON AN ADVENTURE

...Well once you figure out what class you are
By using a 1d100 100 is high 1 is low

>So long as nothing is completely ridiculous, and sometimes even if it is, feel free to say it, all that'll stop it is bad luck and low numbers
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>1664490
Look for survivors.
>>
>>1664600

But, classes can wait first you have to be a hero! Save lives! Do.. Other hero things! Like look for survivors!

As you wander around the burnt out shell of a town looking for survivors and contemplating your class and abilities you stumble upon a gathering of people around the town hall, it appears the mayor is talking about organizing a search effort as a few people are missing. Most importantly the town alchemist, the closest thing to a healer this place has had in years, and a handful of farmers and shop-owners.

As the mayor drones on you pick up some information that might just give you the edge you need in your new career as a hero and savior to your village.

The town was raided by goblins late last night, but strangely enough didn't loot the the village, but instead simply razed it and took hostages as many report that they say the savages run off into the night with people in tow and took off to the west.

This raises a couple of questions, such as...
>Why did they take hostages
>Why didn't they take any loot
>Why are they acting like the polar opposites of most goblins

And perhaps most importantly what skills do you have and what class are you?
>>
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Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>1664490
Curse that Iron Chef! He may think he can take over this province by sheer culinary force, but you'll not bow to him - not now, not ever! This pitiful display of a barbecue is far from enough to make your hang up your chef's hat!
>>
>>1664652

Upon further thought you remember your class! You were a rouge! Well, a chef's apprentice, but it's close enough! Probably.

Now that that's taken care of you just need to figure out exactly how a chef's skills can be put to more... righteous? uses.

>Let's get a couple a skills in here, with at least one major one!
Now, a rouges a pretty good choice, but. well... It wasn't exactly suggested "properly." So, is this good enough or no?
>>
>>1664708
Chopping, well we can turn that into stabbing.
And there is rooting for vegetables, can't be much difference from looking for traps and stuff.
And toting around all those slabs of meat means we can carry more, right?
>>
>>1664708
>Knowing how to butter bread should easily translate to knowing how to butter up people, right?
>>
>>1664822
This also.
>>
>>1664798

After some thought you come up with a couple of ideas that are sure to work!

A kitchen knife is pretty sharp and you definitely know how to use it, for instance.
>Stab - 4-8dmg

Also, every now and again the shops run out of veggies and the like, surely you've gained a keen eye from looking for wild variants?
>Uncover Traps - More likely to discover traps without falling into them!

You've also noticed some muscle gain ever since you took up this job, that could come in handy!
>Might - You deal more unarmed damage and can carry more loot!

Now.. is there anything else your missing or should you get back to the hunt?
>>
>>1664822

Oh yeah! Almost forgot that good ol' baker's charm! Sure, it didn't exactly work before, but you're a hero now, that's gotta change something right?
>Charm - Slightly better at anything that involves talking
>>
>>1664708
Suppose ranks go like Beginner -> Novice -> Adept -> etc., and specializations are listed in brackets and add a rank when relevant:
>Profession (Chef) - Novice (Sous-chef)
>Knifes - Novice (Cooking)
>Barter - Novice
>Appraise - Beginner (Ingedients and cookware)
>Diplomacy - Beginner (Calming people down)
>Logistics - Beginner
>>
>>1664887

You should also have a better way of figuring out exactly how great of adventurer you truly are. Everyone can improve after all! So...

>Profession (Chef) - Novice (Sous-chef)
You can cook a nice meal, but don't expect it to be too nice.

>Knifes - Novice (Cooking)
Soon to be stabbing! Bad guys that is Maybe you won't cut yourself this time!

>Barter - Novice
Haggling was always annoying, but it could definitely be less annoying with practice!

>Appraise - Beginner (Ingredients and cookware)
Daggers are just like sharper knives right? It shouldn't be too hard to figure out what they're worth... Right? And selling food is only going to be that much easier too!

>Diplomacy - Beginner (Calming people down)
One too many a customer has complained about your food, so this shouldn't be a problem. Hopefully.

>Logistics - Beginner
Believe it or not running a kitchen was hard! Sure, you weren't Great at it, but who isn't! Expect for the head chef...
>>
>>1664951

>Keen Eyed (Flora) - Beginner
Don't forget all those glorious mornings spent looking for mushrooms! That'll surely transfer over to traps too!

>Survival (Flora) - Beginner
Speaking of! All that time out in the forest taught you a thing or two... Mostly not to pick up poision ivy, but still!

>Body Building - Beginner
It's only been a little while since you got this job, but there's some muscle on your bones since then! That'll always come in handy!
>>
>>1664951
>>1665105
Baking should add to an understanding of how to do some basic alchemy, as it is a science, and the need to learn recipies means we are literate.
>>
>>1665683

>Baking - Novice
Hey alchemy is just a form of baking with different ingredients right? This one should be easy!

So, any more suggestions, or back to the story for now?
>>
>>1665990
I think we're all waiting on a story update right now. Unless your intention is for us to compile a full list of things our character is capable of right now?

In which case, it'd be time for us to add on a ton of hobbies. I, for one, support singing.
>>
>>1665990
Onwards to GLORY!!!
Or to a slight increase in fame.
>>
>>1666000

Nope! That can wait for later when you find yourself drunk in a bar... like last time..
>Singing - Beginner

But... Back to the story! So, you know a few things:
>The goblins weren't acting especially like goblins
>They went out west
>A bunch of townspeople are missing and are suspected of being taken

but what to do with this new found knowledge? Of course there's always a few things you could do about it:
>Track down the evil doers posthaste
>Keep looking for survivors
>Talk to the mayor/others
>Let the voices in your head decide

Also, now that you know exactly who you are, for the most part, let's see what you've got in your pack!

>1 Kitchen Knife
You never know... Never.
>5 Rations (includes water)
Mushroom hunting's a hungry job!
>10ft Rope
Rope is useful for adventure things! I think!?
>Baking/Cooking Ingredients
I guess you forgot to take them back... I'm sure the chef won't mind

Well, it's something.. I suppose we could add
>Go shopping
to the choices list. You'll probably have to do it eventually anyways..

But, at least you're back on the path to ADVENTURE!
>>
>>1666015
Find someone else to go adventuring with us?
>>
>>1666015
If we're organizing a search party, we ought to start recruiting competent members. Luckily, almost everyone left is gathered here, so we can get started dividing up the manpower into 'people who can fight or otherwise help tracking down the goblins' and 'people who will look for survivors and start rebuilding'.
>>
>>1666020

Ahh... Yes.. The most famous "party"

You'd heard stories of adventures forming these long ago in the times where you could afford news papers! They said that every good upstart had one! But. Um. Well, let's just say that the alchemist isn't really THAT important, he just, kinda of doesn't think adventuring is stupid...

However! There's no way this small setback will stop you! So, even tough, a permanent adventure buddy is out, how about a semi-permanent one! I'm sure nobody could hate your dreams of grandeur so much as to put other people at risk! Probably.

>Roll a 1d100 for not being hated by all
You'll probably still end of with someone, but this may/may not effect how good you are at finding the missing townsfolk
>>
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>>1666023

Hmm, so other than that semi-permanent adventure buddy(ies). You could help out the mayor! I'm sure he would appreciate it! It definitely won't turn out like last time there was a fire! So..

>Roll 1d100 to get the mayor's permission to get an semi-permanent adventure buddy(ies) and over all other stuff your now qualified to do, seeing as you're an adventurer!
>>
Rolled 80, 19 = 99 (2d100)

>>1666029
>>1666039
>>
dice+2d100
>>
Rolled 4, 4 = 8 (2d6)

noko+dice+2d6
>>
Rolled 95, 11 = 106 (2d100)

I'm a newfag I didn't know what to do
>>
Rolled 2, 59 = 61 (2d100)

>>1666029
>>1666039
Rollan.

Incidentally, I'm not sure how hard your stats are, but if it helps, here's the sort of progression I had in mind when suggesting those skill ranks earlier. For reference, I've included the sort of thing a character would be able to accomplish with Diplomacy/Charm and Thievery. Adapt as you wish.
Untrained - Completely untrained in the skill. Practically trying it out for the first time. Doesn't really count as a rank in itself, but specializations can apply.
Beginner - A few years of self-practice, some formal training, or an equivalent skill level. Make a good first impression, or chat up intoxicated strangers at a bar. Lift keys hanging off a sleeping guard's belt, or jimmy open a latched window.
Novice - A few years of formal training, or equivalent. Able to talk down a disgruntled customer, or charm a princess you've just rescued. Cut a distracted man's purse, or pick a simple lock.
Adept - Able to practice your skills at a professional level. Cajole a hostile guard into letting you walk free, or seduce another man's wife. Pickpocket a mark while being your own distraction, or pick a complex lock.
Master - Your skills are renowned across the land. Wealthy individuals may commission you to work for them. Calm an an angry mob with a few words, or talk a man into letting you seduce his wife. Steal the pants off a man without him any the wiser, or break into a bank vault unaided.
Grandmaster - Usually met only by specialization. Perhaps only a handful of living individuals attain this level of skill for an entire craft. Deny commissions at your leisure; you will always have more waiting. Talk down an oncoming army, or seduce the enemy commander into taking you right then and there even as she holds you at swordpoint. Steal the crown off a king's head in front of his whole court without any of them noticing, and then later break into his castle to steal his scepter, with all the guards on high alert, without leaving a trace.
Mythic - Skill unheard of in this day and age. Your exploits are spoken of in legend. You're likely on the cusp of ascending to godhood, and becoming a deity of your craft. Naturally, specializations do not apply here. Entreat the sun into hiding its face for a day, or charm yourself the goddess of fertility for a wife. Steal your soul back from Death itself, or break into afterlife to abduct your lovers'.
>>
>>1666045
>>1666054

Yes, you can see it now the mayor agreeing to your great plan, you earning back the respect of your elders, and non-elders... Wait, The mayor's screaming.. Well, you'll show him! You've never needed him before why start now!

All you have to do is get a good group of people! A true party! And then a true adventure! There! Upon the horizon there they are, your party, your carriers to fame and glory!
Surely, they can't deny they need a charismatic leader! Literally. Between your begging and narcissism they can't get a word in. But, they decide to let you tag along!

You and your semi-permanent party arrive at the edge of the forest, one member of the party quickly picks up the trail of the goblins
>Quick now's your time to shine! Say something!
>Quick now's your first chance not to ruin everything, wait for action
>Other
>>
>>1666058
>Quick now's your first chance not to ruin everything, wait for action
Defer to people with the relevant expertise.

Keep a Keen Eye out in case they miss anything, but otherwise don't distract them.
>>
>>1666057
Anything helps, like I said earlier, everyone can improve, that includes me! So, any help/advice/changes you/others have I'm open to it! Also, although I didn't see your roll it wouldn't have change anything
>>
>>1666058
>Quick now's your first chance not to ruin everything, wait for action
Oh hay the way yuor wrighting this sounds fun stick with it
>>
>>1666064
It's more suggestions than proper advice. I mean, I've never run an actual quest before, myself. Still, for simplicity, I suggested a rough scale of 1 to 5, but if you're intending to run with a more rules-heavy system, you may want to have harder numbers (as with Pathfinder and D&D 3.X). In that case, keeping the numbers hidden may be a good idea to prevent players from getting bogged down by them.
>>
>>1666061
>>1666072

Given as you aren't exactly versed in trap finding yet, you don't find any, but you do find some mushrooms and other flora that's probably edible!

As you and our party venture further into the woods you stumble upon what seems to be a campfire, or whats left of it.. It looks like the goblins left here a while ago, along with the people, but one man's.. er.. goblin's trash is another man's treasure!
>Roll 1d100 to see what you find!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>1666076
Appraise that shit!
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>
>>1666080
>>1666093

As you and your party search through the goblins leftover loot you don't find anything of great importance, or at least you think? You're not too sure what half this stuff is, but the thing you are sure are most likely useful are...

>Skins of forest animals adorned with teeth marks, don't goblins know you can't eat the skins?
>A stray weapon that was lodged in a tree nearby, you think it's a dagger
>And a totally unrelated note attached between said dagger and the tree

As you read the note you find that there might just be a reason for these goblins to be acting out of place...
>The note says something about debts, and mob-bosses, all while being in broken English

As you continue to try and figure out exactly what the goblins meant in this note your party gathers up the random junk scattered about.. I guess they don't really get to loot that often if there just picking up random shiny rocks.. Oh well.

As, your search of the campsite comes to an end you here a couple members of your party shouting a little ways away from camp, they sound like they found something! As you near, you find that they've found the missing people! Well, all except for the important one, well the one that's important to you. You have a feeling like somethings going on that you just can't quite piece together.

>Your party decides to head back bags full of rocks and there party full of people
>You, of course, being the only true hero decide to figure out what happened to the alchemist
>As you sit down on a log the adventurer that vouched for you gives you both a map and look of pity

So, what now?
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>1666106
Go to the river and wash up. Its been a tough day.
>>
>>1666106
Look at the map and determine possible locations the goblins might be heading towards.
Then>>1666111
>>
>>1666111

As you ponder exactly what your missing you walk towards a nearby river as show on your brand new map! It also shows a couple of other things, such as..

>West: A city and most of civilization
>East: Not much, just a mountain range, and villages (Including yours!)
>North: The border of the human kingdoms, leading towards names you don't know how to say
>South: About the same as East, but replace the mountains with sea

You feel like only the North and East part of this map is going to be any use to you as an adventurer as your village was almost squarely founded at where the map ends in the South Eastern corner.

As you arrive at the village and place all your stuff where you can see it and wash up you feel your adventure sense tingling!

There are just so many things to do! So many things you can now do! Just thinking about makes you giddy! Or is it nervous, your not too sure...

As you bath you put your priorities in order
>You should probably figure out what that note meant, you feel like it would be slightly obvious to anyone other than yourself, but maybe you'll figure it out if you try! (Decipher note)
>Your also going to need food eventually, and money, and a lot of adventure stuff now that you think about it, maybe you should visit that city to the West? You could even scrounge up some information! (Go to city)
>Also your fairly sure that something else needs to be done, good things come in threes after all, but for the life of you, you can't figure out what (Other)
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>1666125
Go to the city. Decipher the note as you travel.
>>
>>1666125
>>You should probably figure out what that note meant, you feel like it would be slightly obvious to anyone other than yourself, but maybe you'll figure it out if you try! (Decipher note)
>>
>>1666121
>>1666127
>>1666128

As you get out of the water and get dressed you start thinking more and more about that note... You definitely feel like goblins shouldn't be this clever, and you've got some clues. So what exactly are they planning...!

As, you focus more intently on the note you connect some pieces of the puzzle in your head...
>The goblins probably only wanted the alchemist, since the party didn't find him
>That must mean the note about debt is related to the alchemist
>Also everyone knows goblins only act for money or food, so there's probably more in play

Well, that's a great start! It's also a better one than you've ever had before! However, you have no idea where the goblins ran off to.. Maybe you'll find out in the city? It's either that or turn back, and walking in the woods at night doesn't seem like a great idea. So to the city!

>You arrive at the city as dusk starts to set in
>You notice a few things out of place (Roll 1d100)
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>1666137
What do I see?

Is it an injured soldier from the city?
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>1666137
Eye spy.
>>
>>1666140
>>1666142

More like a few, they're scattered about either hauling buckets of water or goblin corpses. Of course this few is nothing compared to the entire city guard. Have I said that goblins are dumb yet?

Other than that you see people gathered about organizing a relief effort or just simply going back to their jobs, you can separate the two by those whose shop are on fire and those whose shops aren't. Hm, yet another example of why the world needs more heroes!

While you're inclined to help the people with smoldering houses, even though there are very little of them, you feel you could also do something else..
>Help put out fires and other heroic things
>Ask the guards carry goblins to their graves what happened
>Go shopping/pawning for sweet adventure stuff
>Or something entirely different!
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>1666150
Ask if they saw a human prisoner with the goblins.
>>
>>1666157

You hesitantly walk away from the fires, and towards the guards as you walk one of them approach you and asks you what you want. You explain what happened to your village and everything that's happened since, as you go on the guards scowl deepens. For a second you think it's because of you, but that can't be true, cause your an adventurer! Finally you end your talk with asking if they saw your town's alchemist with the band of goblins that you assume attacked the city.

The guard responds that, yes the goblins did attack, though not very successfully, and that no they haven't seen any hostage alchemists around. However, he does suggest that you take a look around and talk to people, who knows what you'll find!

He finishes with, is there anything else you wish to know about this great city?
>"..." What do you say?
>>
>>1666179
Where is there a taven and any one would buy the goblin loot we got.
Thank him and say a ale is on us
>>
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>>1666255

The guard tells you a series of directions that'll take you to the commercial district, he also names off a few good places that adventures usually go to sell their goods, he also mentions that if your in town again and have the cash he might just take you up that offer!

You didn't really catch the rest of what he was saying as a giddy feeling over takes you.. You made a friend! Not, to say you didn't have friends before, but, well.. You aren't too good at first impressions...

However, as the feeling subsides you realize you've got to get back to the task at hand! The task of being an adventurer! And doing... What adventures do! So, what now...
>Visit the commercial district in search of food and drink, preferably a tavern
>Visit a pawn shop and sell off some extra loot, or maybe even buy something!
>Do.... something else?
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>1666832
Pawn yer loot. Buy some boots worthy of travel!
>>
>>1667036

You have a couple of items of interest, and you'd really enjoy getting rid of it, carrying all that stuff is really starting to make your feet hurt... You might even be able to get some hiking boots or something out of it! But, as you find the shop the guard spoke of you can't exactly figure out what you should sell...

>Animal Skins x2 - 5g per
>Dagger - 4g
>Rations x5 - 2g per
>10ft Rope - 5g

Buy
>Boots - 8g
Enter in anything else you want to buy other than boots! Your roll determines how good a deal you get. Same goes for anything you want to sell!
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>1667169
Sell 2 animal skins and get those boots! Pawn shops never know what they have! These might be enchanted!

This dagger is no match for the Chef Knife. Sell it. Buy a good cook book to help you level up a skill and give you solid reading material for the Inn tonight!
>>
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>>1667312

As you peruse the merchants wares you stumble upon some boots, fantastic, adventuring boots...

You must have them.

As you look through your bags you lament carrying the animal skins in one of the main pouches, that'll surely take a while to wash off... But, that's for later! Now, now is the time to haggle.

As you put down your dagger and animal skins, the shop keeper swoons at your awesome adventure loot
>Animal skins x2 - 14g total!
>Dagger - 6g total!

Then, you put down the boots, the amazing boots that are surely worth more than anything ever, but as you do something spectacular happens... The shop keeper lowers the price do to your sheer power and narcissism
>Boots - 6g

With your new found power in haggling you figure you should try it on one more item: A
>Cookbook - 4g

You've acquired:
>Boots - More protection and less chafing!
>Cookbook - Empowers cooking, for more tasty meals
Cooking tip number 1: Don't throw water on an oil fire. Wow! Your already learning!

As, you leave the shop feeling quite well off with your extra 10g than you started with, you inspect the boots, because surely anything this glorious MUST be enchanted... But, it's at that moment that you realize your a bad chef and not a wizard

After trying some more physical test to determine if the boots were magical, such as throwing them against rocks, you find they're probably just normal boots... probably. After, that you finally decide to find an Inn! Unless there's something else you can think of...
>Search for information on the note
>Go to the Inn
>Finally go help the people with the burning houses
>Other
>>
Bump
>>
>>1667407
Go to the Inn, offer to try a new recipe from the cookbook either that day or the next, for the guests, who may be homeless now.
>>
>>1667682

You decide to go to the Inn after much consideration, only to find out that you never actually asked for the location to a Inn, but come on it can't be THAT hard to find one... Right?

After, finally making it to the Inn you find that it has a bar/restaurant on the bottom floor and only half the rooms are burnt out, while this does drive up the price a little your sure you can make up for the loss by making a wonderful home cooked meal to the packed Inn Which may or may not be so do to fires

As you approach the bar the waitress points groggily to the sign and say that rooms are 3g a night, meals not included. While you're not exactly sure how much a hotel room costs, you feel that this might be a little high, but you're not sure. However, as your eyes glance over the menu you're certain that the meals are definitely overpriced! 11g for steak and potatoes outrageous!
....
But.. It is very profitable..
>Roll 2d100 to convince the waitress to let you cook a meal and determine your success
Or
>Roll 1d100 to set up your own food stand outside the restaurant/Inn at a respectable price range (at the expense of your cooking ingredients)
>>
Rolled 88, 95 = 183 (2d100)

>>1667734
Convince and use profit for room
>>
>>1667801
I'm good with this.
>>
>>1667801
>>1667820

As you try and use that good ol' baker's charm you find it actually works for the second time this day! Perhaps the dice of fate are in your favor? You feel a little bad cheating the customers, but even heroes need to sleep! Plus your sure to make up for it on your grand adventure to find your friend and more!

So, as you walk to the back of the kitchen and get set up you notice that these people are even worse than you at this! It shouldn't be too hard to please the customers!

As dusk stretches into night and the restaurant clears you find yourself not having earned just a days salary, but also a bunch of tips from the guests!

>35g gained!
45g in total

Even with this newfound wealth though, you're not to sure you should spend it on food, at least not here, and think about simply eating a ration
>What to eat? (You have 5 rations currently)

Other than that you feel like you really need to sleep, but you also haven't gotten very far in the search for the alchemist... You suppose it can wait, but there's still some people left milling about. Or of course you could see where the night takes you...
>Politely "Interrogate" Restaurant
>Sleep (-3g)
>Other
>>
>>1667866
> Considering that we cook better than the restaurant does, we're probably better off eating the trail rations we prepared ourself.

> Tactfully (yeah, right) "Interrogate" Restaurant.
>>
>>1667901

As you chow down on a ration you realize maybe you went a little to heavy on the salt about half way through, but nothing to do about it except buy a 4g water, and once again, that is highway robbery. So, no.

After you finish the meal you get up and wander over to table of worn adventures. You can tell they're adventures and not bums because they haven't attacked you and the owner isn't shooing them with a broom... You have a lot of past experiences you'd rather put behind you...

As you approach them you think about what to say to them, these aren't your simple shop keeps easily wooed by your awesome adventure skills.. No. These. These are real life adventurers! You definitely wanna bring up the whole hostage alchemist thing, but you feel like you might just make a fool of yourself in front of the most amazing of all people.

>Roll 1d100 for outcome of discussion
>Also include conversation topics

Hey, at least if this doesn't totally bomb you can still talk to the patrons and the waitress!
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>1667941
Taking suggestions on topics, but:
- the recent goblin attacks
- rumors of necromancers/evil warlords/generic fantasy Big Bads
- our obligatory quest line
- general adventur-y chat.

Maybe see if there's a quest board analogue here in town if that's a thing that you want to do, OP.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>1667960
Also show them the map but only if there's chat success.
>>
>>1668047
Well, we're not going to die, at least. Success depends upon how absurdly high the DC is for this.
>>
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>>1667960
>>1668047

As you approach the table you nearly fall over a chair, and spend a good 15 minutes trying to get over that, but as your nervousness slowly passes you feel you can actually talk to these people!

Time to start off with some good ol' adventure ice breakers.. Stuff like swapping stories, talking about loot, discussing the weather. You know only real blood rushing and danger filled things. As the night wears on with your buddies, who seem uncomfortable for some reason, finally turn the topic to you! This is your chance!

As you pull out a napkin that you had been scribbling conversation ideas on for the past hour you start off with the real zinger...

>"So, surely you tough guys must've been here during that goblin raid? Did any of you happen to see an alchemist? About this tall, probably swearing death upon his captors that sort of thing?"
The adventures admit to hearing the swearing, but to not actually seeing the alchemist, but they do say if it was him, or if the goblins that took him came through here, he'd probably be in a goblin stronghold.

This leads to a VERY convenient string of words for you! It details how the goblins had set up the stronghold a little ways away from the city a little while ago, and the city was gathering the guard and mercs/adventures to help take it down.

Whew boy this already takes out two of your questions! This might just be moving a bit fast for you. Luckily though as the adventurer see you start to hyperventilate he eases up on the info.

Okay next question!
>"You ..uh.. wouldn't happen to know where any monsters, other than goblins, would be hanging out... Preferably ones that people would pay to get rid of? Heh...
The adventure only states, "For someone of your skill," He looks you up and down, "No."

RECOVER QUICKLY
>"What.. What about a quest board!"
He responds hesitantly and says there's something LIKE that near town hall, but suggests you take something easy, like painting a fence! That sound nice and safe doesn't it?!

You also show him your map and ask him if there's anything your really missing, he say not much just a couple of areas to find wildlife, however you notice he only marks animals and plants, not any monster dens...

You quickly get the location of the town hall as well and bid farewell to the adventures... Well, you learned a couple of things at least. You also got to talk to real live adventures!

>>1668060
I tend to make quest lean more towards just having fun, but I'd say a normal roll is from 40-60, bad is lower than that, and good is higher! Although I haven't anything too ambitious for our somewhat narcissistic chef to actually use this like it should be used
>>
>>1668104
Well, if that's all, let's go and get some sleep. Rest clears the short-term memory buffer, after all, and that's what we desperately need.
>>
>>1668153

Yes, Yes sleep seems like a great idea right now. You're not exactly sure what time it is right now, but if you want to save your friend and then some you'll have to rise with the eagles! Ride the back of the wind into battle and slay countless evils and be hero to all!

Eventually you come out of your daydream and find that you've been staring a loaf of bread quite intensely, but none of that maters now! You must sleep and prepare for the days to come! By.. Sleeping!

As you purchase the room and go to sleep you lazily decide what to do when you get up tomorrow...

>Go to the Town Hall
>Find a guard and inquire about the goblin hunt
>Other hero things, because after that mental hype there's no way you can't possibly do nothing amazing tomorrow... Unless there is.
>>
>>1668104
>>1668153
I agree. Leave our boots on during sleep to see if that's what activates the possible magic.
>>
>>1668209
As the hero stared at the bread, in the morning cook breakfast for even more gold, if we wake up at that time. Appraise the waitress's appearance for practice, then go to Town Hall.
>>
>>1668220

In your mind immediately appears images of boots of all shapes and size doing all manner of amazing things! Surely, the only way to unlock their true potential is by keeping them on at all times! What is a little athletes foot to the power of the immortals!

If you can roll a 100 on a 1d100 in scenarios involving THE GLORIOUS BOOTS something might happen
>>
>>1668220
> See when the goblin hunt is
> Look at the quest board
> If all else fails, set up a food stall and acquire $$$. We can replenish our supplies with the profits.

How lax are the street merchant regulations here? Serendipitous set-up-wherever, or full-on hundred layers of bribe-required bureaucracy?

>>1668255
Nat 100? Challenge accepted. And now I will clearly never roll a 100 except on non-boot-related tasks. Such is my life.
>>
>>1668253
>>1668268

You... Actually hadn't thought about the repercussions of randomly starting a food stall. Maybe it was a good idea you didn't do that.
Bad rolls are there to make bad decisions worse

Before you go to bed the first thing you've decided to do is try and work in the restaurant again. They loved you last time, and you now have a feeling that there's a reason there were no food stalls.... After that well, probably something adventure related. You'll have to see which you stumble upon first.

As you finally get comfortable enough to sleep with your boots on. You fall into a dreamless sleep and wake up to the smell of bread and the feeling of sunshine... But wait!
WAIT! THE BOOTS! ARE THEY DIFFERENT?!
ROLL NOW FOR THE BOOTS DEMAND IT
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>1668309
Nat 1 a go!
>>
>>1668309

----- Side Note -----

I plan on making this a thing that happens from 4-5pm~ to 12-1am~ and maybe a few hour(s) in the morning Or at least what I count as morning

Also, feel free to leave criticisms, or anything else on posts like these
----- Side Note Over ------
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>1668309
>>
>>1668322
>>1668361

Sadly, the boots deify all logic that you know about magical artifacts and refuse to activate the unearthly magic powers they hold...
Oh well... There's always next time!

Well, it seems you woke up early enough to catch the breakfast rush! So, you go to smooth talk your way back into the kitchen and cook up a great overly pricey meal.

Also, you should probably decide between the goblins or the quest board...
>Decide, or choose something else
>Roll a 2d100
>>
Rolled 44, 40 = 84 (2d100)

>>1668331
Timezone? Also, I may be wrong, but to indicate uncertainty, prefixing the figure with the tilda is the standard: e.g.~4-5pm to ~12-1am. Postfixing tends to indicate a sing-song style voice: e.g. Helloooo~

>>1668367
I think we'd be horribly murdered if we went after the goblins now, so let's see if there's something less lethal on the job board. Maybe fetching some mushrooms or something.
>>
>>1668382
Drat. Anyone want to help with the roll?
>>
Rolled 29, 55 = 84 (2d100)

>>1668331
Please proofread for typos and spelling mistakes a little more (like defy and deify, unless that's intentional). But I hsve nothing else to add now.

Quest board / Town Hall, also appraise waitresd
>>
Rolled 69, 42 = 111 (2d100)

>>1668367
>>Decide, or choose something else
>>1668388
>>1668403
I don't have any preferences at the moment.
>>
>>1668412
Quest board it is then. Hopefully, we don't frak up too badly and give everyone salmonella (or worse) with our barely-passing roll.

>>1668331
How do you count dice, OP? Best of three, first only, highest of all? I'm assuming crits and crit fails take precedence, in that order.
>>
>>1668403
Sorry, I made two typos there.
>>
>>1668451
Appraise the waitress? What for, old chap?
Chappess? Chappetooie? Chappeaux?
>>
>>1668382
>>1668388
>>1668403
>>1668412

Central US&Canada, also 40's are on the edge of normal, and it's not like a bad roll is going to kill you probably

As you near the counter the waitress already looks fed up with you... Oh God did you accidentally forget to turn of the oven again?! Upon seeing your obvious panic she calms down, a little, and explains how the patrons are now demanding "good" food. You gently suggest she, as the beautiful woman she, let you take care of it.
>She glares at you for a good minute before saying she doesn't have a choice now.

You assume she was talking about that wonderful appraisal and not the fact a small mob is organizing around the bard

Either way you made it back into the kitchen with little damage to you on the outside, and proceed to do the only your good at! And it works! Barely! But, it works!

After gathering your pay...
>30g
You decide to take a pleasant stroll to the quest board and away from your narrowly avoided doom

As you approach the quest board you see a number of different tasks to do, your really liking the look of taking on the dragon of the Northern mountains, but it'd take forever to get there and you don't have a bow.. You take the flyer anyways You also see that flyer the adventurer was talking about, you have to find your own paint, but the owner of the fence will reimburse you and then some. There are also some requesting for flora out in the wild, another talks of a crazed dog running around allies a little ways away, the goblin hunt is there too! You took that as well And finally a little something more up your alley, a pack of wolves slaughtering sheep near the edge of the city!

>Fence - 10g (net profit)
>Wild dog - 20g (First aid costs 8g)
>Wolf pack - 70g (/\ Hospitals cost more)

>>1668437
1 = all hell breaks loose/10's-40's are close calls/40's-60's are plain normal/60's-100's are great/100 = Something akin to the divine intervening Like the BOOTS

>>1668451
I can't catch everything and it pisses me off too, but I'd like to think that the quest makes up for it

>>1668475
Beauty? I honestly don't know?
>>
>>1668475
Training appraise skill. I meant appraise looks. I guess If our hero opens a restaurant he needs good taste to pick the most beautiful waitresses. And it won't take time if he's eating.
>>
>>1668514
This makes what, 73g we have? Let's paint that fence and see if we can't train some totally unrelated skill while we're at it. Once we're done with that, maybe deal with the dog and replenish our rations?
>>
>>1668514
Start painting. Keep the brush for applying sauces in kitchens.
>>
>>1668514
CST then? So, you'll probably be running for about another hour, then.

Also, aren't we in generic-fantasy-setting land? I would think that ovens are put out, not turned off. Y'know, no electricity and all that.


>>1668560
Big difference between a basting/pastry brush and a fence-painting brush. But still, we could use it to die ignominiously in the inevitable goblin raid we are clearly not prepared for.
>>
>>1668545
>>1668560

Although you don't WANT to, you guess that the adventure must know a thing or too if he got to be that great... So, fine..

Hmm.. a paint brush could come in useful too. Just have to be sure and not get lead paint. I hope they have labels

As you head out into the commercial district to gather up some paint you feel your non-existent adventure senses tingling...
>Roll a 1d100 for the random encounter

Honestly, at this point you don't see how it could get any worse than helping a Mrs.Smith with her painting...

>>1668573
the baker's is near a pigs sty, and opening windows isn't a good idea for two reason because of you, but you don't want to really get into it... Also cowering was a option even before you were an adventurer, you just don't like to do it
>>
>>1668573
>Big difference between a basting/pastry brush and a fence-painting brush.

Does the hero know that, though?
>>
>>1668607

We'll find out eventually
Maybe, don't role a one when cooking
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>1668596
The hero is ready for a marketplace massacre!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>1668596
>>1668613
It would be rather horrible if we accidentally basted the prize turkey with our lead-coated paint brush. Y'know, poisoning random NPCs isn't exactly _good_ for your reputation or survivability.
>>
>>1668643
Oops. Well, I guess random NPCs us? are going to start dying now.
>>
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>>1668617
>>1668643

Dear.. God.. HE HAS BLESSED US THIS DAY WITH THE BEST GIFT!!!!

In front of you stands the rabid dog doing dog things with the wolves! YES! You just knew you were meant for great things! THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN MESS THIS UP
Options!
>Fight!
>Yell a witty one liner!
>Grab the attention of your enemies!

Wait a sec! You already did that, well the grab the attention & the witty one liner! But, not to worry citizens your getting your knife now!

Wow! Your first actual fight, this is gonna be amazing!
The citizens "cheering" our hero include 2 guards, and a small crowd either running or cowering

You see
>4 wolves
>1 rabid dog

Good luck, and good rolls
Death is never the end for this chef
>>
Rolled 10, 29, 92, 18, 99 = 248 (5d100)

>>1668670
So if we die, we come back as an undead zombie chef by the power of bagels? I'm... suprisingly alright with this.

> Keel zeem. Keel zeem all.
>>
>>1668685
Looks like we'll need that first aid after all. On the other hand, free wolf steak!
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>1668670
Throw our rations hoping some of them will go to eat it! Then attack the rest!
>>
Rolled 97, 17, 72, 78, 2 = 266 (5d100)

>>1668670
>>1668685
>>1668697
May I reroll?
>>
>>1668685
Close enough, also soooo close to that 100

>>1668697

You throw a distraction in the opposite direction of the citizen as you are a true hero! However, none except for the dog seem to be a fan of your cooking...

With the guards screaming something about something towards you, no doubt it's words of praise, you leap towards the dog and immediately get two deep bite marks before returning to your senses! This hurts, but not as much as the countless years of berating in your village! You will press on!

As you feel the power of countless cooks before you rush through your veins you plunge the knife deep into the shoulder of the dog, and it responds with a viscous bite to your wrist! But! You! Will! Persevere!
You land the killing blow on the dog with a near perfect strike to it's jugular!

As you stand above the body of the fallen pup you stare out across the battle field, looking for your next victim! It seems the guards have slain 2 wolves and are cornering one, but the other.., the other is yours...

>>1668707
Not unless it out right kills you, or something else equally un-fun
>>
>>1668731
Well, how many dice were we supposed to roll? It helps if QM is explicit about this, especially in cases where there's reasonable doubt.
In my experience re-rolling is allowed if the wrong (or wrong number) of dice are rolled.
>>
>>1668754
5d100 for a basic attack seems to be fine, but if you really wan't to re-roll that battle I can re-write it. I thought it went okay though. But, if you want to do something more creative, I think 1d100 is in order

Stab - 5d100
Might - 3d100
Other - 1d100
Charm - 1d100

Sorry for the confusion!
>>
Rolled 94, 41, 84 = 219 (3d100)

>>1668776
Drop the weapon, scream and wrestle the wolf!
>>
>>1668776
Hmm. I'm kinda used to the plain 1d100 approach, and so I scaled it up to 5 attacks for separate antagonists. Wasn't intending to imply five dice for a single attack, especially at d100. Keep the battle, but maybe just 1d100+-modifiers? Makes it easier for multiple posters to have more of an impact.
It helps if you state when and what we are supposed to roll.


>>1668788
This is good.
>>
>>1668801
Okay, we'll switch back to the standard 1d100 after the fight. But for right now let's keep it do to >>1668788
Just know that fights might go much slower


As you approch the wolf you don't throw your knife away and charge it, fighting it to the ground landing crippling blows as the the beast barely manages to scratch you, it finally gets a foothold and sinks it's teeth in, but you fight back all the more viciously and manage to end the wolf.

As you step back from the wolf you see the guards finishing off their beast, they quickly approach you and ask if your alright.

As the hero you truly are you respond with...
A lot of people saw you take on a wolf bare handed after stabbing a dog... This will definitely have an impact on how people think of you, be careful with your words

>While you guys figure out what to say, I'm going to turn in for the night. See you tomorrow with any luck!
>>
>>1668837
Whatever is easiest and most expedient for you, QM. If you go multi-dice you might need to explain how they're summed up and how multiple posters affect the rolls.

I'm turning in for the night, but as far as heroic quotes go... Don't shoot the messenger? How do you like your wolf steak?
Seriously, I got nuthin.
>>
>>1669067
Damn it, I forgot spoiler tag.
>>
>>1668837
>>1669071
It's a good opportunity to reveal the hero's name.

"The name's Jenkins," he says like James Bond. "Leeroy Jenkins."
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>1668837
Op! This quest is fun! Keep it going! I wanna see what the potential magic of those boots are!

>rolled the 95 merchant boot roll


________________

"Those wolves will not corrupt your canine companions no longer! Their feral rabbidness shall never harm you or your fuzzy friends again!" Honor the deaths of your fallen enemy by skinning annd cooking them.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>1669264
Must activate the boots.
>>
----- Afternoon Update -----
Okay, so let's get a few things cleared up!
1. We're sticking with the 1d100 rolls, because it definitely will make rolls worth more (per person)/uncomplicated
2. As you can see, I can't always make the morning updates, but I'll try to squeeze in something when I can't
3. In most battles/rolls what you rolled affects how other people respond, including the enemies. If, you want me to include enemy roles, just say so! For enemy rolls, highest number wins, but if it's something like 100 to 1 you still get more out there writing
4. My schedule is 4-5pm to 12-1am Central Time US&Canada and might change, so keep a look out!
5. I'll always try to find a good place to stop at night, so don't worry about me cutting of battles!
6. I feel at the current moment I'm extremely lucky to be able to do this "every" night and in the current time frame, it might change
7. Anything you want to say will be put in, Like how we got the chef both suggestions for the story, play style, or anything else!
8. Also, I'm going to try and refrain from using spoilers on the updates, as I don't really see it interrupting anything...
9. I have a bad habit of forgetting to put down when to roll, but if it doesn't say you should roll, than don't! The worst that happens is me updating saying roll for ___.
10. I might out out a major update during the morning or afternoon for today but it won't happen everyday and leans on exactly what I got from the previous night!
----- Afternoon Update -----

----- Q&A -----
>>1668852
/\ See above, you made valid points, and I might already have a plan!

>>1669095
Are we really going with this name, because I see no other name?

>>1669264
Thanks! Words of encouragement are always nice!

>>1669306
I will always have time for THE GLORIOUS BOOTS, but just to note, if you want to unlock THE UNEARTHLY POWER, remember to state how you want to try! It helps with writing Also, THE GLORIOUS BOOTS aren't affected by bad rolls, so others feel free to join in! Just don't make it about the BOOTS every time!
----- Q&A ------

As you stand above the crowd figuratively you announce to them and the guards
>"Those wolves will not corrupt your canine companions no longer! Their feral rabidness shall never harm you or your fuzzy friends again!" Honor the deaths of your fallen enemy by skinning and cooking them!"
HELL YEAH YOUR A HERO
>"So, how would you like those wolf steaks done?"
WITTY ONE LINERRRR
Now, now it's time for the most awesome ending to anything ever, you know this is true because you read it in an action book....
>"The name's ___, ___ ____"
>You can either enter in a name, or just let it default to something like anonymous unknown
>Note, you don't have to roll for this, player majority will win, don't want a name everyone hates after all
>>
>>1669737
We seem to be a Jenkins type, so Leeroy Yenkins it is.
>>
>>1669737
No. Eric "Choppa" Grills
>>
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>>1669973
>>1670221

...And I'm back!

You're about to say your name in front of a very large crowd, and while you thought this would be the best moment in your entire life, you can't help be feel like your throat is trying to swallow itself every time you try to say your name
>"..."
>>
>>1670449
> Eric Yenkins
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>1670449
Make it seem like the pause was for dramatic effect.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>1670492
It's d100 for this quest.
>>
Rolled 66, 17 = 83 (2d100)

>>1670492
Crap forgot.
And click your heels for goodies.
>>
>>1670449
>>1670498

As you struggle to say your name you say the two things that come into your head.. Simultaneously
>"The name's Yenkins, Eric Yenkins"

The crowd pauses for a second then cheers and the guard tells you that you helped complete to tasks that were on the quest board in town. Of course being an adventurer, you already knew this, but keep quiet.

Silently you click your heels three times like in that other book... But nothing..

The guard continues saying that while they can't give you the full payment for the wolves you should go to the treasury next to the town hall and collect the payment for the dog, and whatever they decide a wolf is worth.. He also gives you,
>A Roll Of Bandages
>A Bottle Of Alcohol

The guard also say that if you still have that fighting spirit in you that they wouldn't mind having you for an up coming goblin raid, given that you use the alcohol for your wounds that is..

As you share a laugh with the guard and finish bandaging your wounds, you head into a nearby paint shop and get some white paint and a paint brush. You feel the brush is a bit big for food, but maybe your idea will still work once you have the chance to try it.
>-6g

Before you head out to Mrs. Smith's house you stop and crudely gather up anything of value from the wolf and dog,
>Wolf pelt
This should fetch a nice price, and it's in okay shape too!
>Dog pelt
You figure no ones going to really want it so you took it, but then what DO you want it for?
>Wolf/Dog meat
Not especially sought after, but it'll keep you alive... Once you cook it

Finished with your gruesome task, surprisingly clean, you start heading towards Mrs. Smith house, finding it a little ways away! You greet her and get to work.

As you finish work and gather your payment from Mrs. Smith
>16g
You wonder what to do for the rest of the day.

>Go to the city guard and inquire about the hunt
>Gather your payment from the treasury
>Other
>>
>>1670535
Lets tend to our injuries then find out about the goblin hunt
>>
>>1670570

After double checking that you didn't miss any wounds you decide to take the trek across the city to the guard barracks to finally go and save your friend! Like a true hero! A true adventurer! There's no way you can fail now! Not now, not ever! You just took on a wolf and a crazed dog! Nothing can stop you!

You retract your previous statement, but not for long! When you first arrived at the barracks some guards, and even that adventurer from the restaurant tried to stop you, but luckily those guards from earlier are vouching for you! Even that waitress showed up, and said something about how you should be on the front lines, and while you agree with her, your not sure you have the right armor to be in the front... Boots, no matter how glorious can only protect you so much.

But, on the plus side the captain of the hunt agreed to take you along so long as you stay back a ways. You tried to explain that rouges are meant to take on enemies using melee, not ranged weapons, but he wouldn't listen.. It's quite obvious this guy has no idea what he's doing! However, he IS the captain.. For now!

>Enact your master plan to become the captain (Roll 3d100)
>Wait for the hunt, and make small talk (Talking topics necessary)
>Other
>>
>>1670629
>Wait for the hunt, and make small talk (Talking topics necessary)
Lets find out what the plan is
Whether there're any weapons or armor people aren't using right now
Escape routes (not like we're planning on running away no)
>>
Rolled 68, 28, 75 = 171 (3d100)

>>1670629
Become captain. Make a town guard guild. Boots willing.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>1670629
>>Wait for the hunt, and make small talk (Talking topics necessary)
Does anyone in town know how to tan leather?
While no one is looking, dance a little to try to activate the boots.
>>
>>1670629
>Wait for the hunt, and make small talk (Talking topics necessary)
Known hunting area, den location, history of attacks, any recent changes, recommendations for armor and weaponry, and if any licenses are required.
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>1670629
>>1670732
>>1670745
>>1670857
All of this, and fry up our wolf meat into rations if advisable.
>>
>>1670869
Less salt this time.
>>
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>>1670732
>>1670741
>>1670745
>>1670857

You hear a bard playing in the distance, you shuffle your feet but the boots don't budge

You decide to approach the area where the guards and strike up some small talk. You ask about a variety of things, this time your topic napkin doesn't seem to bother them! Your reputation is spreading! Hopefully!

You bring up the topic of what exactly the plan is, as you might have missed that part.. Someone further down says there's going to be three squads of soldiers attacking the "fortress." Which he says is more of a heavily fortified church. The three groups are as follows..

>The Front Lines
It's composed of mostly knights and spear men that are going to try and take most of the attention
>Ranged
As expected it's full of anyone who has a bow, or a shield to protect those with a bow, they're going to set up on a hill
>Medical
People are here either for treatment, or to stop a flank (You are currently here)

You also ask where the armory is and if you can use it. A guard next to ask if you plan on joining the guard anytime soon, you think it's answer enough. But, a few people do say if you live long enough the goblins might have a thing or two that are better than what you currently own.

You follow up asking if anyone knows how to tan leather, so you can get some awesome adventure armor! They say the tanners is somewhere in the city, but once you get something they, the guard especially, can help you maintain it! For a fee

Now onto some of the things your not to sure of, being a new hero and all. You ask some of the guards that seem a bit more enamored with your heroics to fill out the map the other adventurer wouldn't... Stuff like, monster locations, and more dangerous animals. You also ask about where to get some armor/weapons and the town's law on who can get it as well as street vendor laws They give you a mostly positive answer in the way of armor and weapons, but get eerily quite when you ask about the street vending thing...

You decide to easy the tension by asking about the location of a campfire so you can cook up some food, and place where you can in the city. They answer outside, and at the alchemy guild.

You finish up asking if they have a plan if everything goes south, SO YOU CAN HELP SAVE PEOPLE SHUT UP. They say so long as the goblins don't break through into medical, everyone's going to fall back there and eventually retreat to the city walls.
>>
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>>1670897
>>1670882

Now... It's time, you've gained their trust by being awesome and overall a cool dude.. You go over to a group of sturdy looking adventures that are adorned as knights and offer them glory beyond their wildest dreams! And they bought it! ...Well, some of them... Onto the archers! And it seems they over heard you and threaten to tell the captain if you even dare ask them, much less ruin the hunt... Who do they think they are! There's no way your plan will backfire horribly and then make you wanted for war crimes! That only almost happened at your village! Hmph! Well, surely the little guys will want a taste of glory! As you approach the table you notice there's already a large group of weak warriors and medics thinking about breaking off in the name of glory! You just about manage to convince them to join in on your plan!

Ahh, it feels good to be a hero... Also hungry, you head outside and start cooking, with a little less salt this time and manage a good yield!
>Dog meat = 3 Rations
>Wolf meat = 3 Steaks

Well, now that you've spent most of the time before the hunt preparing you suppose it's time to gather the crew and sneak off and infiltrate the goblin base.. Course you might be able to do that during the fight, or not at all., you heard a lotta stories back there.
>Carry on with the plan
>Carry on with the plan (during fight)
>Don't carry out the plan
>Other
>>
>>1670919
The plan being trying to take over as captain?
>Don't carry out the plan

Just stay in the back and try to find out whatever you can about the alchemist
>>
>>1670941

If your being honest with yourself you never really planned to take the captain's job, more like prove he has no idea what he's doing and that your going to be the best adventurer ever! Although you guess that wouldn't exactly be a heroic like thing to do...

As you ponder weather a captain's job is worth furthering your glory you see the groups, now split into three start moving out. Before, they can get too far you catch up and search through the crowd for your crew and tell them that they are now a backup plan at the best

They seem a little fed up with you, but decide to just wait for your signal, if there is one.

You arrive at the goblin camp and see a couple of things...
>How well off are the goblins? Roll 1d100
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>1671008
So, low roll = we get smacked, high = little more than bits of driftwood and lots of shinies for us to loot?
>>
>>1671020
Oooh. Shiny.

Squirrel!
>>
>>1671020

Low = high mortality, High = low mortality, this is a "big" battle, this is more about who gets the upper hand and loot

The front lines start charging the base as it comes into view, from your place in the back you can see that the church is now adorned in spikes and trenches, and most importantly troops! However, it seems like they're moving most of what they've gathered and are overall scattered. So, as the front lines start to clash with the first few goblins they meet a war horn blows signaling both a wave of arrows and the gathering of the goblins forces. As the arrows strike home to large pockets of goblins the goblin's garrisoned forces run out to meet the knights, archers take position on church walls, and most importantly for you, a smaller group mixed with cavalry and foot soldiers run around the main forces to face you.

>Roll 3d100 for your allies
>>
Rolled 7, 48, 25 = 80 (3d100)

>>1671088
>>
>>1671102

Anyone else want to take a shot at it?
>>
Rolled 56, 7, 60 = 123 (3d100)

>>1671088
FUUCKKK YOU GOBLENNSSS
>>
>>1671102
>>1671119

As chaos descends upon the battlefield the knights and the goblins clash at the front of the battle archers raining down arrows while waiting for the sharpshooters to stop firing, but as the goblins descend upon you, you fight back! You hear curses flung from one side to the other as you pull a rope in front of a horse felling it, then later the rider. As the crowd of goblins start to thing you notice the other groups, the archers especially so, having trouble.. Something must be done! For heroism! For glory! FOR THE LOOT!
>Roll a 3d100
>Suggest what to do now that you've beaten back the flank
>>
Rolled 14, 33, 33 = 80 (3d100)

>>1671162
>Support the archers! Take some of your new made friends
>>
Rolled 76, 36, 8 = 120 (3d100)

>>1671162
> Snek liek a snekky snek.
Let's sneak our way into the death of our enemies.
>>1671180
Or we could do this. I'm not partial.
>>
>>1671162
Support the archers and attack any ranged or magical goblin users. If we can deny them that, we keep a massive advantage. Take our friends with us, and we can form a shield wall to break the goblins against the main force.
>>
Rolled 23, 98, 4 = 125 (3d100)

>>1671186
>>1671162
Forgot my fucking dice.~~~
>>
Rolled 58, 77, 61 = 196 (3d100)

Rollinh for archers as well
>>
Rolled 78, 40, 92 = 210 (3d100)

>>1671162
Archers, bois
>>
>>1671180
>>1671184
>>1671190
>>1671199

As the fighting grows more and more desperate you find the knights be pushed back ever so slightly as the goblins tear into the front lines, pushing a wedge between the forces. The knights are faltering, but start to push back as your forces pour into the battlefield and start to form a wall of spear men pushing them back slowly. As you run, not towards the fray, but instead towards the church walls you see a group break of the main body of knights! You and your soldiers take the fight to the archers, clearing the distance quickly with the aid of your, now unburden, archers! As you take a glance behind you, you can see the archers and knights cleaving a path through the goblins towards the church, arrows felling goblins before the knights can reach them! Knights cleaving goblins in half only to find their blade stuck in the one beside it, your allies advance! However, once inside out of range of your allies you find your self quickly find yourself face to face with another force! Yet, you and your group soon relize that while there are many of them, they are no match for you! Your kitchen knife quickly finds its way at the walls of the church, once again within the range of your archers, slaying the opposing archers while the knights finish of the remaining enemies. As you sit upon the church wall breathless you can only think of one thing.

>Goddammit you didn't think being a hero would mean this much of a cleaning bill

>>1671217
I had to rewrite a paragraph because of your insane roll Not that I'm mad about it
>>
>>1671266

As the smoke clears and you find that you've won the battle another thought takes your mind, and another, and another, etc.

OHMYGODYOURANACTUALHEROYOUDIDNTDIEHOWINTHEHELL
Oh my god your an actual hero you didn't die how in the hell!

>Help wounded (By getting them to healers)
>Report back to the captain
>LOOT GLORIOUS LOOT
>Other
>>
>>1671266
That will show those little green devils. Now for the looting...
>>
>>1671286
>>LOOT GLORIOUS LOOT
>>
>>1671286
>Help wounded (By getting them to healers)
If we loot now, we look like pricks. First, help the ones who flanked with us.

Hey GOAA, can we loot along the way?
>>
>>1671286
>Help wounded (By getting them to healers)
And cook up meat that you find for the feast
>>
>>1671286
>Help wounded
>>
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>>1671288
>>1671298
>>1671322
>>1671374

>>1671299
Yes! Of Course! You can start by removing the rather lovely looking dagger from your arm!

You take a moment to assess how badly you and everyone in your group got hurt, AS A TRUE HERO WOULD! You find that Almost everyone got something to show for that battle, but more so the knights that were in the front.. You spend a moment trying to figure out how to exactly wrap a bandage around something like that, before one of the medics steps up and takes the roll for a moment then starts to organize the relief effort, you see the few mages Yes magic exists, not sure i all knew or not in the medics brigade leave while the other non-magic medic stay to tend to your wounded, huh.

Next you start to make your way around the church and surrounding areas looking for LOOT the wounded, the further away from the church you get the more you notice that at the start of the battle not a lot of wounded made it... However, it could've been a lot worse. You do manage to find some wounded in a trench, and help them. By the time you get back to camp you've helped quite a few people, and yourself!
>43g - goblins and their obsessions
>Dagger - That one hurt
>Shield - This one seems to be more than twine and planks
>Leather Armor - It smells like it was just taken off the animal
>2&1/2 Health Potions - You can't be too picky
>Short Bow - The guy you took it from had a feather in his helm, so anything he has must be important
>War Maps/Correspondence - The captain will probably want this, but friendship is more important, your sure he'd understand
>>
>>1671393
>War Maps/Correspondence - The captain will probably want this, but friendship is more important, your sure he'd understand
Look them over as we wait for the captain to see us. If we give them to him as well as informing him of the more regal looking dead's locations, we should gain some influence/clout.
>>
>>1671393
Are we supposed to pick here?
>>
>>1671455

You can! Right now I'm writing >>1671412 suggestion. Sorry for the clarification issue
>>
>>1671463
Bandage ourselves, save the health potions, and can we get a gold total for right now?
>>
>>1671463
Nah, my bad. I would have gone for the map aswell
>>
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>>1671412

You see the captain making his rounds to all the important people, like the head of the guard, and the leaders of the battalions.. Now all you have to do is sit and wait for him to get to you! .... It looks like he's going back into his tent .... Well, you can just pour over all this data till he's done ... He isn't coming out. DOES NO ONE APPRECIATE HEROICS?

After getting into the captain's tent and announcing your heroics, a tad too loud, the captain both seems to both perk up and become enraged at the same time. You wonder briefly who angered him earlier, as it's surely not you! As you discuss what you found while em.. searching! Yes, searching! He calms down and asks to see the maps, and tells you that he'll have some knights search for anything of use for espionage>>1671412

You see the captain making his rounds to all the important people, like the head of the guard, and the leaders of the battalions.. Now all you have to do is sit and wait for him to get to you! .... It looks like he's going back into his tent .... Well, you can just pour over all this data till he's done ... He isn't coming out. DOES NO ONE APPRECIATE HEROICS?

After getting into the captain's tent and announcing your heroics, a tad too loud, the captain both seems to both perk up and become enraged at the same time. You wonder briefly who angered him earlier, as it's surely not you! As you discuss what you found while em.. searching! Yes, searching! He calms down and asks to see the maps, and tells you that he'll have some knights search for anything of use for espionage>>1671412

You see the captain making his rounds to all the important people, like the head of the guard, and the leaders of the battalions.. Now all you have to do is sit and wait for him to get to you! .... It looks like he's going back into his tent .... Well, you can just pour over all this data till he's done ... He isn't coming out. DOES NO ONE APPRECIATE HEROICS?

After getting into the captain's tent and announcing your heroics, a tad too loud, the captain both seems to both perk up and become enraged at the same time. You wonder briefly who angered him earlier, as it's surely not you! As you discuss what you found while em.. searching! Yes, searching! He calms down and asks to see the maps, and tells you that he'll have some knights search the "royals" for anything of use for espionage. He also says for your outstanding bravery you get a gold star! It also serves as your payment! Get!
>A literal gold star that fits in your hand (100g)
>You can't help but feels he's still mocking you though

As you exit the camp and get your wounds touched up you feel as though you really made headway with the captain today. Who knows maybe he'll send a messenger to ask you to go on another adventure! But, first things first those maps and letters..

>>1671475
215g

1/2 Posts!
>>
>>1671498

It seems like this is much bigger than your alchemist friend, who you now suspect will be with the knights somewhere as no prisoner movement... Or at least that's what the captain said... Anyways, it's probably bigger than him, because, well, it took mercenaries AND the city guard to take care of the goblins, and it was still close! Even though YOU were there! Also, there seems to be.. someone buying out the goblin chiefs to do something! One of which was try and destroy this city and capture your villages alchemist. So, you think it's safe to say that who ever it is they're planning something BIG
>>
>>1671520

So... What do you do now?
>Ask around for your friend
>Follow the paper trail
>Other
>>
>>1671527
>>Ask around for your friend
>>Follow the paper trail
See if the guy we owe a beer is still alive. We may be naive and have a Wisdom of 7, but we pay our debts.
>>
>>1671527
> All of the above
> Tan our wolfskin
>>1671543
> This
> Maybe pawn some of our ill-gotten gains?
>>
>>1671527
Supporting
>>1671556
>>1671543
>>
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>>1671543
>>1671556
>>1671589

So, first things first! Find the guy you own an ale to, most of the guards here so you'll find him! Maybe he can help you find your friend too! Then deal with whatever half the squiggles mean on the maps and letter, and finally find out how much gold this stuff can get you! And find the tanner's!

As you wander around looking for both your friend and your more important friend you end up finding your other friend first. You strike up a quick chat with him about what he thinks about the maps, where your alchemist buddy is, and what he thinks of your heroics! He answers about as expected when facing the most heroic of heroes, and leads you to where they're keeping the goblins prisoners. You feel like you should've guessed where the prisoners where, given you passed by the medical tent a lot, but oh well. After saying you don't have time to get drunk given your predicament you do give him some gold (-3g) and tell him if you have time you'll be buying again! The guard laughs and says he wouldn't have it any other way.

As you approach the alchemist he seems extremely confused if not mildly panicked, you sure hope he didn't get a concussion! As you get to talking he seems to tense up even more, especially at the mentioning of, you specifically, going out to hunt an unknown threat of unknown strength. Wow, you knew he had put his adventuring days behind him, but still you thought he'd be down for a cross country expedition in search of glory and justice.

As you end the conversation you find that you've FINALLY convinced him to come along, well more like YOU should, but that's unrelated. So, as you tell him that your planning on visiting a few places in the city before you and him leave, he takes the news of not immediately leaving on an adventure surprisingly well!

You decide to go to the pawn shop first, that guy was a total sucker last time!
>What do you want to sell/buy

>43g - goblins and their obsessions
>Dagger - 8g (Better than current knife)(Maybe)
>Shield - 10g (Wood/Leather, and rather sturdy)
>Leather Armor - 14g (Definitely better than your apron)
>2&1/2 Health Potions - 5g per (Could keep you alive! Can't sell 1/2)
>Short Bow - 10g (With practice it could be useful!)
>Arrows x20 - 2g per (You feel like a quiver would be helpful)
>Rations x7 - 2g per
>10ft Rope - 5g

>Roll a 1d100 for better prices!
>>
>>1671735

Sorry about the gold, just ignore it, I was copying and pasting...
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>1671735
Buy some arrows and a quiver. Also, make that 10ft rope a 50ft and we have a deal.

Also, be very friendly with the shopkeep, but not narcissistic.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>1671735
Sell the apron and buy a quiver.
Find out if there're any books on weapon keep up.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>1671735
> buy a quiver
> sell the shield and the dagger
Did we get any skill improvements during the battle? And how difficult is it to train skills?

Let's go Ranger over Rogue - they're better cooks, out of necessity.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>1671814
Seconding.
>>
>>1671735
Hey OP, can we get the list clearly delineated into buying and selling? I'm assuming everything on the list is what we have in our inventory.

>>1671815
Also this.

>>1671814
>>1671815
>>1671825
>>1671822
Dice gods are not smiling right now.
>>
>>1671844
No they aren't.
And they aren't in the other quests either.
>>
>>1671882
So... Are we selling the dagger/shield?

>>1671822
"Training" skills is going to be less apparent to the viewers, and I think of it this way, how would a cook whose only been in two fights act? And then I factor in rolls! So, the longer you play the better you get! As far as training, I prefer to have the character to learn through action, but even if you use a book, you'll see results in time. Basically, everything's gradual.

>>1671844
The whole deal about buying is you get to decide whats in the shop, to a degree, also I'll try to make it more obvious what you're buying/selling
>>
>>1671957
Alright. Sell the dagger (because we like our chef's knife) and the shield (because we're a bastardized hybrid Ranger/Rogue combo, not some lumbering tank).

Well, just notify us when our skill ranks improve or when we gain a new skill. It's useful information to factor into tactics.
>>
>>1671997

Note: Keeping the kitchen knife doesn't mean you have to sell the dagger. You've got plenty of room!

Also, your always going to keep your chef stuff and it's weight is negligible. Weather it's for cooking or sentiment is up to you!
>>
>>1672025
Id rather we keep the knife out of nostalgia at least
>>
>>1671957
>>1671814
>>1671815
>>1671822
>>1671825

After looking a the shops wares you decide to buy a couple of things for your new found party. You approach the shop keep while turning up the narcissism and turning down the friendly... You feel like you mixed up something, but it's to late now!

Buy
>50ft rope - 30g
>Quiver - 13g
>Arrows x10 - 30g total
>How To Repair For Dummies - 7g

Selling
>Shield - 10g
>Dagger - 8g
>10ft Rope - 5g

As you gather up your items you feel your alchemist friend glaring at you... Wonder what that's about, maybe he wanted something? Should you offer?

New gold amount: 155g

>Go to the tanners
>Offer to buy stuff for the alchemist (check party inventory)
>Other

Your still a cook at heart and can't bring yourself to throw away what let's you cook
>>
>>1672072
>>Go to the tanners
>>Offer to buy stuff for the alchemist (check party inventory)
>>
>>1672072
>Ask the alchemist if he needs anything
Then go back to the tavern. Alsl, what's his name?
>>
>>1672072
> Offer
Might as well.
> Tanners next
I coulda sworn we had more gold, OP. We had 215 as of >>1671498 +43 from the goblins - 80 for our purchases + 23 from our selling. If my math is right we should have 201g.
>>
>>1672107
Meant to say tanner*
>>
>>1671735
>>1672072
>Offer to buy stuff for the alchemist (check party inventory)
>>
>>1671997

>Archery - Untrained
All you’ve gotta do is pull back the string! *Scoff* Why do people think this is so hard?

>Repair - Untrained
So you stitch the leather, band the metal, and suddenly everything's okay! This has to be too good to be true!

>>1672111
I added the goblin gold and everything p before hand! We had 72 gold, than the 43 goblin gold, and then the 100 from the captain! (We, haven't picked up or adventure money, from the random encounter though)
>>
>>1672095
>>1672107
>>1672114

Oh yeah.. ha. About that, you never really got his name? You were always to busy accidentally destroying things, or listing to his tales of adventure
>Name the alchemist!

Before you catch his name though you ask if he needs anything! He says he can handle it himself.

Given as your now a member of Erik's party it stands to reason that what ever arcane sway that over takes him is now affecting you.
>Aka you are now the alchemist
>Roll 1d100 for prices

You pat down your robes that the knights gathered from the goblins keep to see what you still have on you and find...

>Alchemy ingredients - 10g
>Short sword - 16g
>3 Health Potions - 5g per
>3 Mana Potions - 8g per
>Basically Acid In A Bottle (or Poison Potion, throw-able) - 10g
>5 Rations - 2g per
>Leather Robes - 13g

Wow, you know you never leave home unprepared, but this sets a new low for you. Also, how in the hell did Erik survive this long, bless him he tries... But... You didn't know him when he still lived in the village.
>>
>>1672181
Also did he spell his name with a K or a C... Now that you ponder on it you feel like it was a C wasn't it...
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>1672181
>>
>>1672212

What do you want to buy/sell?
>>
>>1672216
Ingredients.
>>
>>1672181
Does he use runes?
Also it seems he's lacking BOOTS
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>1672275
> Activate the BOOTS
Buy ingredients for a love potion? We have Health, Mana, and Poison, so a Love potion or Sleeping potion would round out the set.
>>
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>>1672264
>>1672275
>>1672313

You decide to sell your alchemy ingredients for now, you doubt there's an alchemy guild in this city anyways. As you butter up the shop keep you end up with a little bit of a better price

>165g total party gold

As you look upon the shelves you see some boots like the ones Eric is wearing, they seem pretty sturdy, but not worth the price.
Only Eric can truly appreciate THE BOOTS
You also think back to your old times in magic school... You never really went into "formal" magic instead choosing potions and the like, but.. Really, how could you pass up the chance to learn how to make a potion like temporary flight? However, you have picked up a thing or two, like a bit of earth magic to help grow ingredients

>Alchemy - Adept
Lizard tails are much more annoying to gather than you would initially think
>Earth Magic - Beginner
Minor manipulation and the like are about all you can do

>Earth Bolt - Much more efficient than pure mana, throws earth 5-6dmg
>Earth Manipulation - You can't move a mountain, but you can try
>Short Sword - It's sharp... That's about it 6-10dmg

You also decide to take back your ingredients upon realizing that you probably could in fact make a temporary flight potion with those! And much, much more.

>155 party gold
>>
>>1672313
Also remember, if you want to active THE GLORIOUS BOOTS, you have to put how.
>>
>>1672358
>>1672358
>>Earth Manipulation - You can't move a mountain, but you can try

Lean against the wall of a shop in the nearby alley and try and put your weight on it without standing on the ground (ala spiderclimb).
>>
>>1672358
Let's get a cloak because, well... Everybody knows alchemists need cloaks. Also some gloves for that sword manipulation.

Then leave. Go check thst dog-slaughtering reward
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>1672364
Dammit.
> Boots of Tunnelling! AWAKE!
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>1672391
>>1672358
Again, forgot dice.
>>
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>>1672391
>>1672393
>>1672399
>>1672402

You notice out of the corner of your eye Eric stamping around the shop muttering to himself...

You decide to buy some accessories that you lost to the goblins, a cloak for cold/wet/everyday weather and some gloves

>Cloak- 8g
>Glove - 5g
>142 party gold

As you step outside you beckon Eric to follow you, he looks at you like a deer in the headlights, stops stamping around, and says something about it being a heroic ritual... Right...

As you step outside you ask Eric to stay put for a sec as you go check out whats around, Eric says something about a town map, but your already sinking into the wall and willing it upwards creating a makeshift elevator.

After glancing around and finding a surprising lack of signs/landmarks you make your way back down to a stunned Eric....

>You are now Eric

HE'SDOINGWIZARDSTUFFOHMYGODYOUDIDN'TKNOWHECOULDDOTHATTHISISGONNABEANAMAZINGADVENTURE
He's doing wizard stuff! Oh my God! You didn't know he could do that! This is gonna be an amazing adventure!

Wait.. He's saying something.. Oh, he's asking where to next! Geeze you really gotta ask his name when you get the chance!
>Name the alchemist

You quickly say that you were going to go pick up a reward from slaying a wolf and a rabid dog! Then, if there's still daylight left go to the tanner's to either appraise their skins, or turn them into something. He looks at you indecorously, he mutters, you slew a wolf, dog, and a band of goblins in a day?!

HA! Yes! You knew someone would come around to your heroics eventually! There's no time for that though, your burning daylight! As you pick up your reward of roughly
>37g
>179 party gold

After that you take a brisk walk to the tanner's shop to do... Well, you never really thought too hard about what to do when you got here..
What do you do at the tanners
Name the alchemist
>Buy/Sell (Roll 1d100)
>Turn around and go to the Inn
>Go practice... Something
>Check out the alchemy guild
>FOLLOW THE PAPER TRAIL TO GLORY
>Other
>>
>>1672526
First, try and see if the hides you picked up have more value as being sold or as being turned into armor. If the tanner can't turn them into armor/too high a price:
>Go practice... Something
Practice tailoring and mending. Then, go and ask a guard or adventurer if there is a place to get proper archery training.

The alchemist should be named Sehlum Sidreg.
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>1672585
> This
>>1672526
> Check out the alchemist's guild
> Inn
> Food
> Sleep
>>
>>1672526
We came here to tan our pelts!
Hope Alrond Golden (aka the alchemist) can wait for a bit.
bout to go to sleep btw, thanks for running op
>>
>>1672599

OH GOD DON'T LEAVE ME HERE TO PICK A NAME
Please someone break this tie
>>
>>1672607
Sehlum is goot. Very goot.
>>
>>1672607
Use the other one, its okay
>>
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>>1672585
>>1672591
>>1672599
>>1672625

Before you head into the tanners you pause and ask the alchemist his name.... Apparently he's told you a lot of times when he was talking about his adventures with you.. You tell him you were just joking hehe... It was Al.. His eyes narrow. Nope not that. Hy.. An eyebrow raises. Not that one either. Oh! Wait, you've got it! Sehlum Sidreg! He mentions something about that taking too long. You respond by swiftly entering the tannery
>You feel the alchemists eye's bore into you as you enter the shop

As you chat with the shop owner you find that your current leather armor is made from stronger hide than wolves/dogs and that while he can take the wolf hide for..
>4g
>183 party gold
The dogs pelt is better used as practice material.

As you exit the tannery you ask Sehlum if there was anything he wanted to do before you both turned in for the night, he say he wanted to make a quick stop at the alchemy guild, which you assure him this city has. You decide to stay at the tannery for a while and see if you can't convince the shop keep to teach you how to do tailoring! You also hand him the map and point out where the Inn and alchemy guild is. As you head back in you ask Sehlum to meet you at the Inn by dusk!

>You are Sehlum
As you approach the alchemist guild you think about what you can and want to make here..
>What do you make?

>>1672651
I'll never forget your sacrifice
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>1672690
Save Alrond for our obligatory elf companion we will inevitably almost horribly die in front of.

> Make: Poison Potion, Love Potion, Sleeping Potion
>>
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>>1672713

As both the night and your stock of ingredients start to wear thin you manage to whip up another poison potion, a love potion Temporary 24 hours, longer lasting ones tend to cause you a lot of trouble, and a sleeping potion.

Although you doubt you'll be using these for such mundane purposes such as sleep aid, or an aphrodisiac. You can't help but feel good about still having the ol' alchemist charm, it's been far too long sense you've last made a potion of this caliber! As you glance at the clock you figure you should head out now before it gets any later...
>Expended Alchemists Ingredients

As you approach the Inn the first thing you notice is Eric eating a ration while still having a good sack of gold on him. The initial confusion of this immediately disappears as you notice the prices, and you sit down next to him and open up yours.

After the meal you and Eric head up to your room, which apparently costs a little extra do to you
>-4g, 179 party gold
>-2 Rations, 10 Rations Left

>You are Eric
As you drift off to sleep you think about what the tailor taught you, your sure it was something about needles..
>Acquired Tailor's Kit
It was a bit pricey though
>-10g, 169 party gold

You also went and found some of your buddies in the guard who helped you a little with the bow, even some the archers who hated you helped! Granted, you needed a lot of it, STILL need a lot of it...

>I'm going to leave it here for tonight and try and get that morning update in!
>While I do that, what happens tomorrow?
>>
>>1672796
> Cook breakfast again.
> PAPER TRAIL
> Train Archery + Earth Magic
Thanks for running, OP. Have a nice night.
>>
>>1672796
>> Cook breakfast again.
>> PAPER TRAIL
>> Train Archery + Earth Magic
>>
>>1672823
Thanks for the support.
>>
>>1672813
>>1672823

----- Morning Update -----
Let's leave this open for any questions/suggestions any of you have! So, is there anything you all wanted to ask about GOAA?
Also I have a few questions for you as well!
How prevalent do you want the "main" quest to be? How many party members are you expecting max? What should be different, if anything?
----- Morning Update -----

As you start to wake up in the morning you find the Sehlum has already been up waiting for you, it seems like he's truly decided to take up the responsibility to become a hero! You know this in your heart of hearts because he's already made a plan for part of the day. How admirable! Apparently in order to hone your awesome adventure skills he wants the both of you to train sometime before you leave the city! He says he's already decided on what he wants to learn, but he's isn't too sure what you should train first... Good thing you know what to train first! It's the thing that's not expensive and let's you hang out with your buddies! Yep that's right! Your going to have a drinking contest hone your, already impeccable, archery skills!

Well, once you earn a little more cash... It also makes you feel like you never left home, but the money is worth it! Sometimes!
>Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 5, 91 = 96 (2d100)

>>1673372

Morning GOAA
Party member? I want a whole guild to choose from! How many other missfit characters could we all roll for, really? I am excited. Lets "meet" people!

The story is as grand as the imaginations of the people that toss you ideas. I like that aspect. Some days you will have "find the cat" other days you will find "s/lay the dragon" or "kill the corrupt king"
IC
Get those boots in gear!
>>
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>>1673380

Let's see where the day takes us then! Onward to glory of any merit!

As you near the counter holding your favorite, and only known, waitress she seems a little surprised! You know you were out late, and that you didn't get to see her, but come one! Did she really think you'd just skip town after that big a battle last night! Maybe she thought you were still there? You can't know if you don't ask!

As you draw ever closer to the counter you speak up saying something along the lines of, hey did you miss me? This for some reason shocks the waitress out of her daze and into a rage... Wonder what that's about, whatever it's not any of your business. Oh hey, the waitress is saying something! You can't quite here it though. You decide to take it as a compliment!
You're supposed to be dead, how are you not dead? I recommended you for the front lines..
As she squeaks out the rest of those words of praise, or at least you assume, but what else could it be.. Sehlum scowls? Wait! You never introduced him! How rude of you, and you say your to be a hero! As you smile sheepishly you introduce Sehlum and waitress! Waitress, Sehlum!

You are now out on the street, apparently waitress wasn't her actual name... Well, you knew you weren't there for a permanent job, so this was bound to happen. They didn't want to keep a hero waiting! Still you wish you could've caught the waitresses name..

As you and Sehlum wander about for what Sehlum describes as, somewhere discrete, has dirt, and won't land us in jail if he tears up the daises. ...That last one must have a really cool story to it! Your pretty sure about it, cause he shuddered when he said it!... You find it! It isn't nearly as impressive as you thought it would be. It's just a field outside town... THATNOWHASROCKTARGETSHAVEYOUSAIDYOULOVEMAGICYET
That now has rock targets! Have you said you love magic yet?!

As training comes to an end you finally decide to pour over the more difficult squiggles on the papers you found during the fight! Sehlum says rather gently that it's just cursive and a little bit of Latin! Why does he look so worried? Sure you slept a little during class, or ran off to find evil doers, or just too... Okay so you didn't go to class much that's besides the point! The point is the squiggles have meaning!
So, what do they mean!
>A conspiracy that spans the ages, reaching all the way back to the times of dragons.. It's been said in legend that the kingdoms of old in their bickering created something of untold power, and while that draws many a soul near it.. They never come back. Until now perhaps?
>Someone wants the Kings and Queens gone, the land razed, the subjects in chains. But who? Have the goblin warlords finally reconciled? A lone sorcerer, with a fearsome following, finally gone mad in his decrepitude? Has infighting boiled over into something sinister? Who do you trust.. Who CAN you trust..
>Other
>>
>>1673425
It's time for the first story! With any luck one of many!

So.. The cards are in your hands dear players.. What will you do with them?
I put down two prompts, but if these are too cliche for your tastes, know I only function in varying stages of it... Also, maybe suggest your own prompt?

>That's all I have for the morning update.. See you tonight!
>>
>>1673425
The kingdom is currently contested by a wizard called the Person In a Management Position, they call him "Pimp" for short. He is ruining businesses and families by mindslaving females to do his bidding, destroying the morale of the Kingdom's people! Moreso the spurned men and now motherless children.
>>
>>1673432
I support this. Mind controling people sounds interesting. We could combine it with OP second option
>>
>>1673432
Why not. This can only end well.
>>
>>1673432
The kingdom is currently contested by a wizard called the Person In a Management Position, they call him "Pimp" for short. He is ruining businesses and families by mindslaving females to do his bidding, destroying the morale of the Kingdom's people! Moreso the spurned men and now motherless children
This and the 2nd t h ingy omg this going to be good.
>>
>>1673432
>>1673432
>>1673604
>>1673749

Wow, this is.. definitely going to be interesting I'm going to mix the second option and the suggestion together

And We're Back! So, I see the new quest line is a go, but I just have to ask... How long do you expect this first "major" guest to go? I was planning on having the main quest line throw you around the world, but seeing the new main villain.. I assume you won't want to wait?

As you and Sehlum inspect the "cursive" your still convinced it's just random squiggles text you uncover more and more information about this P.I.M.P's? plan..

You think for a moment about what the acronym could mean, as surely this dastardly villain is more cunning than you think using a proxy to stop you from gathering too much information! But there will be time for that later, your getting off topic..

It seems like he didn't pay the goblins at all, which Sehlum says speaks wonders about how he went about doing this.. Sehlum says it narrows it down to a few choices. Dark magic, strength, reputation, or his overall following. Maybe a mix of a few of them, or in the worst case all of them! You will not be deterred though! You will end this crazed man's delusions of grandeur! No, not you, the difference between you and him is that YOU mostly stay within the law! While HE doesn't! By the end of the pile of mail you've filled in a couple of patches in this heinous man's plan!
>There are far too many women being requested to be taken up North-ish
>A strange, compared to gold chalices and obscene amounts of diamonds/gold, asking for alchemists, and/or anything that can wield illusion magics
>It seems that the North exports, while the West imports.. For now at least...

As you and Sehlum look upon each other, one with steely determination of a TRUE HERO, and the other of having to watch an ogre run down a boy.. You set off for the closest export city! You notice as you walk to the city outskirts that there are only a few import cities, and all of them are tied close together, but perhaps you should gather more information/gear/rations before you think about hiking that far.. But soon.. Soon you'll be knocking on this.. P.I.M.P's door!! You will have vengeance! Both for the fallen past and the fallen present! YOU SHALL BE A HERO!

>You are Sehlum

You do NOT like the look in Eric's eyes... Also, your VERY worried about two things...
1. What will happen when Eric finds out what your debts to P.I.M.P. were and...
2. Not immeditly dieing at any point during this trip.

However! You promised your self you wouldn't let Eric land himself into something he can't get out of, and so help you even if it kills you! Which you REALLY hope dosen't happen You already own too much to too many necromancers You'll keep that promise!

>And back to Eric! HERO EXTRAORDINAIRE!
1/2 Posts
>>
>>1674547

As you near the edge of town you think about your epic journey ahead, and what you might need.. Sure, it's not TOO far to the nearest city, but your going a little ways past that, and you don't want to prematurely end your adventure! No, this has to be IN THE MOMENT, full of ACTION.. and. and.. ACTION! Unless of course you stop at the nearest city anyways...
What do you want to do before leaving the current city?
>Just leave for ADVENTURE
>Check up on the waitress, and guard/adventurer buddies.. No way you're leaving without a goodbye!
>Other
>>
>>1674547
@Op

We can go around the world with this quest. Not every game shows the final boss at the start. He could be a general or a peon for an evil greater plan!


As for prep- Recruit waitress. She will be our healer by insisting making Erics food edible.... rpg logic
>>
>>1674606

I expected you to ask something like this for the guard, but... Oh how much fun we'll have...

Turning on a dime you stop walking, now facing Sehlum, you utter that you forgot to say goodbye and start booking it back to the Inn, adventures can wait.. You never leave a friend hanging! NEVER. As you near the Inn and come into view of the waitress you see the life drain from her face... Boy she must've been afraid that you weren't going to say goodbye! Oh hey look they're closing up early today! You think about how they're going to get the customers out of the restaurant if they lock the front door though. They probably have a back door somewhere! Even if you haven't seen it before! Wait! If they close the restaurant you won't be able to say goodbye, or ask her if she want's to help stop crime in a time permitting fashion! No way you're leaving without a goodbye.. NEVER! As she struggles with the lock, to buy time for you to approach, you stick your foot in the door as she tries to slam it! First thought! OW! Second! YOU MADE IT!
Alright, now you know you haven't made the best impression on your second best-friend, so you've gotta be careful about this! Alright. Inhale. Exhale. Talk.
>Roll 1d100 (Your going to get this waitress, but it'll help to have a good... What is this, the fourth impression?)
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>1674676
Boots willin'
>>
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>>1674688

As you take a seat at the bar and catch your breath while hearing Sehlum screaming for you So much for not leaving a friend hanging you start up a conversation with the best line you know to date! DO YOU WANT TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE?! So far it's worked with Sehlum, a couple guards, and the goblin hunt crew! So it's bound to work!

While Sehlum starts to catch up and you start to feel like you've struck a couple adventure loving cords with her, such as: Monetary gains, and never having to see anyone else in this city. You feel like something is still holding her back, but for the life of you, you can't figure out what.. She says it has to do with your current party members, but even if Sehlum is a bit of a chicken she shouldn't hate him for it!

As Sehlum nears the bar and listens in he finally whispers into your ear to go see about your guard friends, and he'll take care of this. Finally! Some help! You were REALLY getting stumped there and at this point your ready to do pretty much anything to get her to join, even if it means letting Sehlum do.. Whatever he's going to do...

So, you go out to meet your more awesome adventure friends, and wait for Sehlum!
But, goodbyes are awkward, what should you say?
>Suggest some final topics to talk about with the only true adventures in this city, other than you, Sehlum, and soon to be... Waitress.
>>
>>1674737
Talk about
> looting goblin scum
>friends to form parties with
> FANTASTIC camp food
>talk about forming a guild, but forgetting to invite the guards to join it. Not that it even exists... YET!
>>
>>1674737
Oh.. and the waitress is named... Hilda!
>>
>>1674737
Talk about
>Women traffic in the area
>Places to visit in the next city
>Manly heroic adventure activities
>Yourself
>>
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>>1674764
>>1674768
Perhaps, however let's wait for more people to vote My votes on the waitress forever being known as waitress

As you approach the barracks you quickly find a group of guards you know and a couple adventures sitting outside by a campfire. Your quickly surrounded by both, AS A TRUE HERO, and start to chit chatting...

First you start off with a rather lengthy debate about the ethics of looting goblins and disrespecting the dead which goes along these lines.. Can we loot? Sure! Isn't it disrespectful? Their goblins man. And then talking about all the sweet loot you all picked up

Next, you hint at having found out about, a probably, gainful adventure to go on, but your meat with shrugs and the sound of gold being tossed. However guard bro does say maybe if he wasn't in the guard he'd join, but he's more than glad to help you however he can!

You shy away from the group for a bit and talk about a couple of things namely women trafficking, tourist traps in the next city, and of course YOUR GLORIOUS Not as glorious as the boots though SELF! The response isn't great, especially given you only informed the captain of the guard recently.. However! He did pick up a few rumors from a couple of adventures from the North, most were split between P.I.M.P. being an asshole, or the greatest thing alive. Strange.. But useful!

As for places in the next city, a couple religions have churches up there, it's closer to the river and is comprised mainly of farms and fishing, and as any town big enough to hold any type of boat, has a seedy underbelly composed of mostly sailors...

As you rejoin the main group and regale tales of the big fight and more! More consisting of more narcissism, as is deserved Upon realizing this you decide to ask about adventurer guilds, namely if there are any, and how one would go about creating one... They say the closest thing you can get to that is more of a place than a thing, there's a city almost smack dab in the middle of the continent your on that is the so called "Adventurer's Capital" it's actual name you can't pronounce because it's in elvish, but that comes with living in a cultural melting pot, you think..

As the day reaches about noon you see Sehlum AND THE WAITRESS!!! Coming up to talk to you, so you end the conversation by praising your food and how your gonna be the best ever. You think that's a tactful way to exit.

As you reach you reach your new friend you give her a true adventures greeting!
"Eric! THE HERO! You?"
>Name the waitress
Once again not naming her is an actual option for me, but hilda is nice too
>>
>>1674901
I like Hilda
>>
>>1674901
We could also just get her name wrong everytime when we're in Eric's POV
>Hilda
>Helen
>Helga
Etc
>>
>>1674901
Hilda pls
>>
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>>1674906
>>1674922
>>1674929
I would never go against my fans. Don't fret my sweet child..

>She glares at you before saying, Hilda and I'm not doing this for "adventure" or whatever
>You can now be Hilda! You wish you weren't though...

You start to head out with Helen and Sehlum in tow! You feel a little peeved that Heather didn't say she was doing it for the adventure, but you figure she'll come around! As you near the edge of town you decide to ask Holly what she has on her...

>You are now HILDA and Goddamn this is already hell

Sadly for you the walking parrot is asking you a question, worse it's something competent.. So, what are you actually holding?

Going off the idea of her being a healer, we sure need one..
>First aid x4
Your sure the restaurant won't mind it missing, or more that you don't care if they do
>20g
More than enough to get a meal and a place to sleep at a non-price gouging inn
>5 years of medical experience without having a chance to use it
'Nough said
>A Mana Cyrstal
You prefer physical methods, but this helps with your terrible emergency spell casting
>A kitchen knife
You almost used it on yourself when the idiot said had one just like it.. You didn't because you have no idea how to use it

The literal hot air factory also asks for your skills.. At least you actually got a job before having to say them this time

>Medical - Adept
When the only hospital in town turns magical you won't judge anyone's actions

>Appraise - Adept
Working in that hell taught you something

>Healing Magic - Beginner
You also have the issue of no aptitude, but you'll deal with it later with the wizard guy

>Stab - 2-3dmg
It'd help if you knew how to use the knife

>Heal - 4-6hp
Your not quite sure how the magic works, only that you mostly depend on the mana crystal

Okay, so now that that's done we're moving again... Cool.
>What do you do while out in the wilds
>Do you make a pit stop at the nearest city or no?
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>1675000
Let's collect some herbs for medical and cooking opportunities, then try to hunt some ferals for meat before stopping at the next city.

Maybe look for some of those monster nests? I mean, that's were we'll probably find the GLORIUS LOOT WE NEED LOOTING

check if the boots are okay
>>
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>>1675025
THE GLORIOUS BOOTS are always okay, for every moment they aren't, it's a moment they're not glorious. And that is never.

>As Eric...

...You start thinking about ALL the possiblities of the untamed wilderness. Monsters! LOOT! Hidden treasures! LOOT! Hunting wildlife! LOOOT! Scouring for plants! LOOOOOOOT!

As you scourer the shrubs and bushes, diving through crags and bee hives! You see Sehlum and Hazel gathering some of the more common plants as well! Probably for awesome wizard things, as you are travailing with two unbelievably cool magic users, one less so, but even then.
>Cooking Ingredients x2 (Total)
>Alchemy Ingredients
>Healing Ingredients

As you glance back you notice, upon the ridge you find yourself on, a small gathering of deer.. Your mouth waters at the thought of quenching your Cooklust and quickly grab your bow to take down one of the beasts! But, perhaps you should wait...
>Eric: Use bow - Roll 1d100
>Sehlum: Use earth bolt - Roll 1d100

Before you decide what to do with those, delicious, delicious animals you spy around for monster dens, or long forgotten loot.. Your eyes settle upon the old wolves cave that use to terrorize the city! Just your luck, which is always amazing and never gets you into unnecessary trouble, like most of your pre-adventure life, a empty cave for you to loot!
>Roll 1d100
>>
>>1675094

Just because you haven't had the chance to use any of the ingredients, other than alchemy, here's how they work

>Cooking - Rations/Upgrade already made food
>Alchemy - Makes anything alchemy reason, within reason (I plan on having chances for you you all to get better ingredients for all sections)
>Medical - Turns into first aid and the like

These are all just the basic idea of them though! If you can find a reason to use them to make something different it just might work!
>>
Rolled 56, 39 = 95 (2d100)

>>1675094
>this is my favorite quest


An empty cave can wait. Let's get the deer first! We are gonna pull off a sick jumping attack like in those comic scrolls and shoot the punk!

Sehlum will try to earth bolt before Eric "steals the glory"

1st Eric, 2nd Sehlum
>>
Rolled 1, 28 = 29 (2d100)

>>1675094
Okay we're finally getting some delicious tasty wonderful smushy juicy deer meat. Let's roll
>1st Roll Eric
>2nd Roll wolves
>>
>>1675186
Top kek
>>
>>1675186
Holy shit
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>1675094
Hilda makes a terrible scowl at this pathetic scene. So horrible that a deer may die.
>>
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>>1675168
OHMYGOD MOM GET THE CAMMERA, That means a fucking lot man

As your eyes glance back to the animals you find Sehlum by your side and is readying a hunk of rock and mana to throw at the deer! Wait.. Why didn't he tell you he was gonna try? You wanted to try first! No matter, together friendship will prevail! Now, to get the perfect angle for your bow! Wait for it... Wait for it.. Wait for it. NOW!

>You are Sehlum
>You are spiraling down the hill towards a wolves den
>You can hear growls
>The last thing you'll see in this life is Eric downing a deer after pushing you down a hill
Life isn't great right now

>>1675186
Dear fucking God a one.... I would make it about the deer, but just keep reading

As you accept your fate you see Hilda running towards you to probably save your life... To think all you had to do was promise her magic lessons and she joined. Begrudgingly. Oh hey she's running away, you knew it was to good to be true

>>1675199
It's far too late for a scowl now, YALL ROLLED A ONE
>You are Hilda and fuck that

You see spazoid shove your ticket back into the medical world down a fucking hill towards a fucking wolves cave like it was another normal day in optimism land, but that doesn't even matter now, cause your all going to die because of this idiot. And you'll be damned if it doesn't happen to you AFTER you get a drink and tell everyone about these retards.
>Aka Your booking it

>You are Wolf

You are wolf and earlier today you ate a bunch of potions the goblins were carrying... You'd say about enough to make you slightly larger than a dire wolf and strong enough to slay all but four of your pack... But they got killed be an idiot with a chefs knife, same as the goblins... You will not make the same mistake. You see the destroyer of worlds wielder of chef knives upon the hill after trying to earn your good will by throwing you a meal.

Like you said earlier, you won't make the same mistake

>You are Eric
>You've made a mistake
>You decide to let the voices in your head figure this one out

>>1675192
Your laughing... for now

I try to make sure you don't die during ones, so just do your best
>>
>>1675240
That Filename Though
>>
Rolled 15, 64, 83, 50 = 212 (4d100)

>>1675240
Eric does his leap ignorantly and fires an arrow at the wolf! These boots were made for jumping!

Sehlum attempts to fire an earthbolt at the ground to break the fall and lessen the impact.

Hilda trips and hits her head.


Wolf is wolf.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>1675240
Try and save Sehlum. You got a rope!
>>
>>1675320
Go home, anon. You are drunk and crashed two cars!
>>
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>>1675269

>You are Eric
You are also a hero, but that's besides the point right now! You have to heroically try and save your clumsy friend from getting wreaked by that.. Wolf of a wolf!

The first thing that pops into your head, is of course the best thing! You take a large leap after Sehlum and let loose your second arrow of the day! As it sails along it's majestic path cleaving the winds, adjusting ever so slightly to... Wait. Adjust?
As the arrow flies it goes just ever so off course and instead lands to the side of Wolf. Wolf doesn't seem happy about that...

>You are Sehlum
You now know why Hilda decided to leave you to die... But, sadly for you dying hurts, and you owe a necromancer more than you wish. You figure it's time to be an adventurer again

You swiftly move your earth bolt towards your feet, and as it impacts, before the mana disperses you will the ground up to meet your feet, and a second later the ground... You haven't harmed the beast yet, but not breaking your neck on impact is a better start than that one time!

>You are Hilda
The voices won't shut up! You can't get a moment to yourself! YOU NEW THERE WAS A CATCH! You can't even focus on how to walk for God's sake!

Oh hello ground... Oh hello peace of mind..
Well, it seems obvious you can't book it. Damn.

>You are Wolf
You'd like to think your doing a good job at being a wolf. Although your starting to think devouring your pack was a bit much, but you tell yourself not to be too hard on yourself.. Your on a new protein diet after all! Keeping up this awesome goblin cocktail bod doesn't happen on it's own. Oh hey the world destroyer is trying to kill you, and the wizard managed not to die. Your not too sure whats happening with the one in the back, but it's struggling with something up there.

>>1675320
HOLY FUCKING SHIT MAN
1/2 Posts
>>
>>1675320
What are the odds?
>>
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>>1675320
>>1675331

>Your Eric again
Okay, that first try was a bit rough, but you got this! You've got a rope! Ropes do... things!

As you make a makeshift lasso you go to rescue Sehlum! With the rope! Like in those books where they pull them to safety in the last moments! YOUR GONNA BE A HERO!! Oh, you forgot to aim the rope. Oh, You and Sehlum are attached to said rope. Oh, both of you can't really move.
>"HILLDDAAA HEELLP"
Wow, he actually remembered her name, that means things are looking up right? Right?
2/2
>>
>>1675367
Note: for this battle, because it deals with ones, you get to decide how the characters act, other than the enemies! Just remember to roll a 1d100 for each character you wish to influence!
It's also the same with 100s! Like, with the boots, every time you suggest something it affects the out come of the successful roll, if it ever happens
>>
Rolled 22, 88, 43, 32, 53 = 238 (5d100)

>>1675410
>>1675367
If that's the case...

>Eric
Tries to grapple the wolf. Why? Because wolf companion. The boots will surely assist him in that!

>Sehlum
Tries to encase the legs of the wolf in earth in the same way he manipulated the ground to not break his neck

>Hilda
Gets ready to perform first aid on the other two

>Wolf
Looks on in utter confusion
>>
Rolled 39, 40, 94 = 173 (3d100)

>>1675367
Hilda wakes up with a heroic attitude caused by CONCUSSION status.

Eric cuts the rope with Chef Knife. Tries to not cut himself.

Sehlum uses his earth magic to catapault him from his spot and jump onto the doggos back, with or without that damn rope.
>>
Im going to abstain from rolling for now
>>
>>1675431
I like that you don't view Wolf as your enemy, but Wolf is world's enemy, and your are a part of that.
>>1675433

>You are Eric
The most heroic of heroes! Stopped by a rope! But not for long, for you have a plan! You will cut the rope blocking your path through sheer DETERMINATION, wait that doesn't seem right. Oh well, you have more jumping to do.

As you leap at Wolf to try and grapple it to the ground, you find that you're instead soaring through the air.. HEROICALLY! Sure it's in the wrong direction, but it's still HEROIC!

>You are Sehlum
You have been finally freed from your bonds by, at this point, your to good for his own good friend. But you don't judge him, in fact you think you'll actually pick up the tab for the necromancy revive if he dies! However that's for later.

Free from your bondage you launch at the wolf via earth magic and wizard stuff, and catch Eric! As Eric once again starts to soar majestically/heroically, you bind Wolf's legs as best you can and land upon it's lumbering back. 10/10 Landing. You can almost hear the crowd cheering.

>YOU ARE HILDA
THE SORCERESS OF THE EAST, MASTER OF LIFE AND DEATH, FEARED BY ALL THAT GO AGAINST THE FORCES OF GOOD! YOU READY YOUR MEDICAL SATCHEL AND CHARGE TOWARDS GLORY AND EVERLASTING FAME!

You arrive in front of the wolf and begin scaling it's new rock formations to the more easily cut bits a little higher up.

>You are Wolf
You feel like this is the second time today the voices have appeared. You refuse to listen to them, for you are Wolf. The little annoyances are actually starting to become a problem... Well, time to kill them then, and there goes the world destroyer. Oh he's coming back, and with the wizard one, time to kill. Hm, you can't really seem to move your legs. Welp, time to throw them off with your mouth then..

Yep, there goes the world destroyer again. Your starting to feel like you over estimated him. Sadly your going to have to break these rocks to get to the wizard, and get the screaming one off you... And there. Now, what's next....

>>1675456
Don't let a one get you down! It's only the circle of life... It also makes awesome scenarios! Ones aren't death, ones are death while having fun.
>>
Rolled 9, 87 = 96 (2d100)

>>1675507
>a 1

He rolled two 1s.


_____________________


Eric and Sehlum: They begin stabbing the wolf and clubbing it over the head with the staff.
Wolf: World is indeed your enemy. Time to think on your life choices.


Hilda: Using some medical bandages and rocks she makes a makeshift slimg and starts pegging stones at the wolf. Eric can also be an accepted casualty.

Rolling for our heroes
>>
>>1675507
>Eric
Time to play GRAPPLE. THE. BOSS!!!

>Sehlum
Wait, what's that? The restrained condition on the wolf? Well, we can't let that stop can we.

>Hilda
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Snt9QlL4ZCo

>Wolf
????
>>
Rolled 26, 41, 90, 53 = 210 (4d100)

>>1675568
>>1675507
Forgot duce
>>
>>1675549
Two one's twice the fun!

>>1675568
Roll! Rollll For Your Life!
Keep up the tunes, it gets lonely writing
>>1675574
Still posting this...
>>
>>1675581
Here are some tunes:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPuJ7FJheKohas6xl7BNFdqtRc7ls3Kj0
>>
>>1675574
>>1675549

>You are Eric
You vaguly recall being throw, then being thrown again, but you can't really work up the feeling to do anything about it... I mean you already tried grappling and that didn't work and now you probably have a concussion, as well as 5 years of medical experience. You also feel like something extremely weird has happened, like body switching weird. Yes, that's another one of your wacky misadventures, no you don't want to talk about it

>You are Sehlum
You are worried, normally Eric would of bounced back by now, you'd be surprised at the beating he can take, but while he's alive, he's not doing borderline life threatening activities... You hope Hilda can help him, because you just a tad busy. Especially when you were acting like a wizard and not the alchemist you are. I mean come on you have TWO bottles of acid! AND a bottle of sleeping! It's almost as if you forgot about them! Oh well, hack and slash time.

>YOU ARE HILDA
And your voice is starting to hurt, but your adventuring spirit sure isn't! Cause your gonna be the HERO! WOO! Well... After you help out your friend, cause you NEVER leave a friend hanging! It's in the hero's code! You think!
----MAGIC---
Wow! You feel like you should scream about magic now! But, that's weird cause your Heather not Eric! Wait, was that your name? Oh well.. ROCK GO!

>You are Wolf
The voices are telling you to have a extensional crisis, but you already put that down in your planner for later. So... Later okay? Now let's see what the slightly larger goblins are doing...

Hmm... Okay, 1, 2, OWWW. 3. In case you didn't catch it the strong one stabbed you, and here you were thinking he was a mage, it's obvious he's a BATTLE mage, big difference, one that killed your cousin.

Alright then, on to the next one.. Huh. It stopped moving. Is it dead? Wait nope, the loud one just closed it's wounds, it's still not moving though. Is it strange your a bit worried about that?

And finally the loud one.. Last you check it only had a knif.. ! .. A knife and a rock, a rock which just hit you in the eye. And it's trying to climb you again! GREAT!
1. Loud one (Hilda) you get thrown over there
2. Battle mage (Sehlum) you get bit/tossed along with her
3. World destroyer (Eric)... You do you...

>>1675595
Good ol' Persona, can't go wrong there, thanks!
>>
Rolled 38, 4, 68 = 110 (3d100)

>>1675682
Hilda is knocked out of heroic state and is back to WAITRESS HEALER

God calls Sehlum an idiot and to use a jar! He tosses acid at the wolf!

Eric launches an arrow at the wolf only to realize he launched his chef knife!
>>
Rolled 7, 73, 89 = 169 (3d100)

>>1675682
Wait, what?>>1675682
>Hilda is knocked out of heroic state and is back to WAITRESS HEALER
>God calls Sehlum an idiot and to use a jar! He tosses acid at the wolf!
>Eric launches an arrow at the wolf only to realize he launched his chef knife!
I guess this?
>>
Rolled 9, 52, 54 = 115 (3d100)

>>1675682
So the whole party is confused or something went extremely wrong?

I guess attack the wolf... Someone who attacks? Like, not hilda?

And maybe Hilda can try to help with that confused state.
>>
>>1675718
>>1675721
>>1675733

>You are Eric
What do you mean get knocked out of the heroic state voices? You've always been HEROIC! You don't get to change your mind now! Sure, you may have unlocked your magic potential, got a medical satchel, and lost your bow, but your pretty sure that's a net profit!

CHEF'S KNIFE GOOOO!!!

>You are Sehlum
You feel the divine trying to whisper arcane secrets into your ears... NO! Last time someone tried to unlock divine secrets they enchanted a pair of boots with God knows what and went insane! Fuck that! Back to alchemy, not divine secrets!

Poison should do the trick! Annnnd swish~ Just like that new ball game that was just invented, ball basket or whatever.

>You are Hilda
God now even the voices in your head are calling you by the wrong name... Whatever, guess you'll use the bow before you kick the bucket...

Oh SHIT! Woah.. That actually hit! Damn!

>You are Wolf
You are extremly confused, maybe you threw the loud one (Hilda) and the world destroyer (Eric) too hard, they're starting to act like each other.. and to be honest your a freaked. But dead is dead, and that's what you aim to do!

Now just to charge em! Oh. That's a knife. Oh. That's a literal bottle of acid. Oh. That's a arrow. Now you must admit that arrow hitting the same eye as the one the rock hit, and not having opposable thumbs, is doing quite the number to your vision. Welp, time to stagger.

YOUR STARTING TO WIN, KEEP IT UP!
>>
Rolled 41, 9, 31 = 81 (3d100)

>>1675776
Everyone is feeling amazing. Let it bleed out as they admire themselves.
>>
Rolled 92, 51, 23 = 166 (3d100)

>>1675776
>Eric
Heal Bitches!

>Sehlum
Restrained? Restrained.

>Hilda
DEATH BY A THOUSAND POKES
>>
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>>1675808
>>1675817

>You are Eric
Slow down? Let Wolf bleed out? Stop? NOPE NO WAY NOT WHILE YOU HAVE MAGIC!

--- MAGIC TIME BITCHES ---

>You are Sehlum
>>1675817
Well, technically, if you think of it as a curse, but usually the divine only do good things, probably to make up for leaving us to fuck up the world, but that doesn't matter. Although no ones heard of anything too insane, like a chef with a glory disorder that's never been in a fight leading an army to victory, or killing a hyper dire wolf with only his wits and friends.... Shit. Well, you'll just have to hope that's ALL they do...

Anyways time to take a break while Wolf's stunned... ---maaaagggiiiicccc--- And suddenly you don't need a rest. Sword go?

>You are Hilda
Huh, you guess you could do that. Wolf looks pretty out of it and Sehlum will get smashed before you... So, sure. Charge! I guess?
---magic!---
Waste of a healing spell, but alright... Wait. A second.

>You are Wolf
You've made the same mistake as the others. You have underestimated the world destroyer... You have fallen. Wait those are some kick ass boots

>Roll 1d100 (With prompt) for boots
>Roll 1d100 for Wolf loot (suggestions will be taken if there are any)

And as quick as it happened Wolf falls and everyone gets their body back.
>>
Rolled 19, 80 = 99 (2d100)

>>1675867
Boots of Animal Influence/Tree Stride/Soul-Storing are a go!

As for wolf loot, I recommend magical pelts, claws, teeth, and bones. Also other adventurers' gear, as this wolf obviously knew what adventurer's were and what they could do. Maybe some magic weapons. And, of course, SUPER HIGH-QUALITY MEAT.
>>
>>1675885
You're definitely going to get higher quality everything of a normal wolf.. Example
>Greater pelt/meat/etc

I'm just asking for anything other than the "obvious"

Also as far as GLORIOUS BOOTS go, try and keep it to one choice! The divines are fickle in giving out power... And keep it down to earth like you currently are, none of that, POWER TO DESTROY ALL attitude. Please
>>
>>1675908
Note: If that Power To Destroy All thing does happen.. Well, perhaps the party can "fix" their mistake via a cross-country quest.
>>
>>1675885

As Wolf draws his last breath and this chapter in chef history comes to a close you and your party find a few interesting things among the wreckage...

>You are Eric
THE BOOTS AREN'T DOING ANYTHING!!! This is REALLY starting to get to you... Maybe a bit too much, you don't really care, you just killed a HYPER DIRE WOLF! You DESERVE awesome magic powers! Whatever, guess you'll settle for awesome magic loot, and you swear if you don't find said magical artifact you're going to blow a gasket...

As you approach Wolf's cave inside you find....
>Bones
>A lot of bones
>Some of these are other wolves
>What the hell Wolf?

You also find something totally awesome, but not as awesome as THE BOOTS, It's.. It's.. Your not too sure, but you'll figure it out in a second! Um.. It's sharp. It has a handle.. It glows in eldritch horror... OH! YOU READ ABOUT THIS!
>Dragon Claw Dagger (!)

Aww, that means you won't get to use your chef's knife... As you pick it up it starts to drift slowly towards your chef's knife... Being the good Samaritan you are you help it along and touch the two together! In a flash of blinding light you're left with!
>A "Chef's Knife" with that legendary weapon aesthetic!

When you return to Wolf's corpse you find it being mostly removed of anything it no longer needs, which is everything
>Greater Wolf Pelt (Enhanced)
>Greater Wolf Meat (Enhanced)
>Greater Wolf Teeth (Enhanced)

Well, there's still a tiny bit of daylight left..
>Press forward
>Make Camp
>Retrieve Deer Carcass
>Other
>>
>>1675974
Collect deer meat. Retreat to empty wolf den, loot and camp there.

Hilda didnt bring a sleeping bag. Wuhoh
>>
>>1675991
> This

What the _hell_, quest? I leave you alone for _one_ afternoon and you fuck up so royally I can't even.
> Two nat 1s!
My god.

Also, I'm back, OP! Let's try not to die in horrible and ignominious fashions, please dice.
>>
>>1675974
>Retrieve Deer Carcass
>>
>>1675991
>>1676032

You decide to collect the deer meat before camping outside for the night. Surprisingly everyone mysteriously agrees with you like it wasn't really their choice. Or they're all tired like you. It's probably the latter.
>Animal skins
>Deer meat

As you start too set up in the cave with Sehlum you notice that Haley doesn't have a sleeping bag! You tell this to Sehlum who gets bug eyed for some reason.. Wizards are weird man. Or at least you thought he was before he said that you two didn't buy any either... Huh. This is shaping up to be a fun night. OH GOD YOU SOUNDED LIKE HILDA FOR A SECOND THERE... Nope, still in your body.

Well, might as well loot before trying to sleep on the cold hard ground...
>It appears Wolf ate everything, but the bones of his enemies
>Good thing that was a dragonBONE dagger!

>>1676015
Don't worry THE BOOTS won't allow it, I've tried. Do with that information what you will. Oh! By the way we found out that THE BOOTS might be sinister! Why else would they be restricted?
>>
>>1676051
Go out and gather up some branches and moss to make a bed.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>1676051
> [I]nspect our new Chef's Knife of Dragon Filleting
> Make makeshift beds and a fire
> Cook up our new food
> BOOTS of Iron Man suit! ala the briefcase suit from IM2
>>
>>1676051
Time.


To.


Cuddle


with rocks
>>
File: Happiness charges.gif (162 KB, 300x300)
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Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>1676051
>> [I]nspect our new Chef's Knife of Dragon Filleting
>> Make makeshift beds and a fire
>> Cook up our new food
>> BOOTS of Iron Man suit! ala the briefcase suit from IM2
>>
>>1676125
Dammit, no dice.
>>
>>1676072

After tossing and turning for a while on the ground you resolve to make both a bed and a fire, because there is NO way you're getting to sleep at this rate...

>>1676015
Are you asking the dice to spare you or a chance to get to roll? Either way roll

>Roll 1d100 for late night expedition surprises
So, long as it's not a one you'll get something good.. If it is a one well... We'll see

>>1676095
Before you head out though you head out though you take a look at your new and improved chef's knife
>Chef's Knife of Dragon Filleting - (Dmg doesn't mean as much as you think, but 12-17)dmg
Your not sure how magical artifacts work, but all in all this seems pretty rad, you've got your chef's knife AND proper combat function all in one now! For some reason that number gives you chills though...

>>1676114
We went over this already. You might have already tried it, it didn't work, NOT THAT YOU TRIED IT OR ANYTHING

To reiterate roll for goodies while getting bedding/fire
>Roll 1d100
DONT GET A ONE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

>>1676125
You try THE BOOTS once more for good measure.
Completely ignoring all evidence that it could very well end terribly

>>1676134
There are dice /\ You're going to roll them for the sake of dice puns and me being a bad person P.S. I love puns
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>1676139
>>
Rolled 98, 2 = 100 (2d100)

>>1676139
DICE!
And BOOTS out of sheer bloody-mindedness.
>>
>>1676150
The 2 is for the BOOTS, by the way.
Goddamit, off by 2. At least we didn't get another 1.
>>
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>>1676144
>>1676150
Don't over stress the boots, who knows what will happen? Maybe your roll will dip by one, maybe not....

As you wander around searching for moss and and fire wood you manage to find a die with a note next to it
>"Puuuunnnnnsss. DICE FOR THE DICE GOD. Also, this will probably end up being a new running gag, like (Player make dice joke) (Hero responds with remark to die) - QM P.S. Good job not rolling a one!"

Your not sure how to feel about this... You throw the die into the woods
>Obtained Mysterious Die

Well now that that's gone and will never show up again ever, you decide to get camp set up, and cook up some noms..

What to cook..
>Cooking Ingredients x2 = 5 rations per or adds Enhancement buff to food
>Wolf steak x2 (1 left over) + Ingredientsx2 - Wolf Meat (Enhanced) x2
>Greater Wolf Meat (Enhanced) - Greater Wolf Steak (Enhanced)
>Deer Meat - Deer Steak (can add ingredients)
>>
>>1676183
--- Q&A ---
After this you'll go to sleep and so will I!
So, let's get a Q&A brewing for tomorrow questions/comments/criticisms welcome!
ALL HAIL THE BOOTS ETERNAL GLORY, OR, maybe we don't know yet, FACE THE WRATH
--- Q&A ---
>>
>>1676183
Uhh... Can you format it in a legible fashion?
> Ingredient + Ingredient -> Result
> Result: Ingredient + Ingredient
'Cause I've got no clue what that list means right now.
>>
>>1676183
>Wolf steak x2 (1 left over) + Ingredients x2 - Wolf Meat (Enhanced) x2
>>
>>1676193
Don't worry it's not complicated at all! Proceeds to be complicated

Okay Cooking Ingredients either make rations (5 per) or add enhancement...

Meat/Vegetable + Cooking Ingredient = Meat/Vegetable (Enhanced)

So long as it doesn't have (Enhanced) already on the food you can add it with the cooking ingredients!

Greater Wolf Meat (Enhanced) + Cooking ingredients ≠ Can't cook

Steaks are already cooked meat, but you can still add (Enhanced), you can also do it to uncooked food!

>Wolf Steaks x3 + Cooking Ingredients x3 = Wolf Steaks (Enhanced) x3
>Deer Meat + Cooking Ingredients = Deer Steak (Enhanced)

Also as you saw above /\ Cooking Ingredients only work on one item, and currently you only have two which means
>10 Rations/No Enhancements
>5 Rations/1 Enhancement
>0 Rations/ 2 Enhancements

Note: You have a "large" amount of rations and a few foods that aren't enhanced, also the Greater Wolf Meat (Enhanced) Isn't cooked at all!

Hope I was sufficiently not complicated!
>>
>>1676230

Wow I just realize the first semi-complicated mechanic introduced was cooking.... Seems about right!

Also, I'll wait a little longer for cooking suggestions before I just buckle down and write
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>1676230
>>1676183
> Enhance+Cook wolf meat
> Cook deer meat
> Cook Greater wolf meat

I'm assuming that being cooked is at least marginally better for their usefulness and longevity than being uncooked is?

DICE FOR THE DICE GOD PROCUREMENT OF HIGH QUALITY FOODSTUFFS!
>>
>>1676242
>>1676195

As you get to cooking you feel something in your pocket... As you take out the die you stare at it in a horror unfelt by man sense the dawn of BOOTS, for now that it is here you can no longer get rid of it.... For better or worse I suppose

You get some rather good food out of cooking this time, or at least by your standers...
>Wolf Steak (Enhanced) x2
>Deer Steak
>Greater Wolf Steak (Enhanced)

As you look upon your hard work packaged and put in your bag as everyone eats a ration and settles down for sleep you think they'll definitely give you some good Buffs when you get the chance to use them
>-3 Rations
>7 Rations Left
>Estimated Arrival At Nearest City, 1-2 Days Wolves Permitting
>Estimated Arrival At Destination, 2-4 Days

See You in the morning! Don't forget about the Q&A!
>>
>>1676230
So you need enhanced ingredients to cool an enhanced wolf meat
>>
>>1676272
I'm not sure I caught all of that, but basically
Food + Cooking Ingredients = Food (Enhanced)
>>
>>1676278
And possibly Enhanced Food + Enhanced Ingredients = Very Enhanced Food.

>>1676191
I'll bite.
> Are you using any kind of framework for this quest or are you making it up on your own?
> On a range of ohgodwhy to this is awesome!, how are you enjoying running the quest? The quest is loads of fun, by the way. I was genuinely laughing when the double 1s hit.
> Windows, Mac, or Linux? Android or iOS?

I'm out for the night, OP. See you in the morning.
>>
>>1676271
Let's go to the nearest city. That dire wolf was totally easy, but my friends clearly needed extra help against him. We can get supplies and maybe information about P.I.M.P.
>>
>>1676271
I have a couple of questions
>When/what time are you planning on running this quest?
Wait... That's about it, only one question.
also as anon I wanted to know too whether you're using a framework or making it up on the spot
>>
>>1676307
>>1676796
>>1676819

--- Morning Update ---
I'm making this up, but I do have a "framework" that every Anons helping set up! Well... I'm not really using a framework.. Like I said I just sort of assume how things would act and then spend a ridiculous time writing it! And to answer two questions at once... The MOST important part of it is WANTING to do it! Other wise you just hit writer's block! Plus, it means I'm right there with you during the adventure!

However, if I must say anything about how I do things... As you've probably guessed by now... THE BOOTS are going to be big, maybe... And P.I.M.P. is going to happen somehow. Maybe I make a reference to Wolf or two. And that's all I've planned.
Yes, my writing style has blown up in my face because of this. No, I've always recovered and kept writing

>Windows
>Android (Not against iOS, just don't have one)
I would keep my Android though

As of right now... 4-5pm to 12-1am Central Time US&Canada. But I try to squeeze in an morning update!
--- Morning Update ---

--- Q&A ---
Alright, so after a goodnight's sleep I've come up with a few more questions!
>Is there anything you want to see, both in terms of inside the quest and out... Example: Fighting a dragon/New mechanics/etc
>Questions on how I decide enemy movements. Or something about rolls? Apparently I'm a little more lax than others...
>Questions about our hero's and their backstories?
Okay so they're literally, except for one, questions for you to ask... Still want to know if you had any questions on em though.
--- Q&A ---

As you wake up being the person you are
>You are Eric
You launch narcissism.exe
Enhanced, Xystos, Enrichment.... Xystos can apparently mean a smoothed/polished area in Latin

Upon finishing the bootstrap lacing up your BOOTS you stretch and decide that if it wasn't for you, your friends might've been seriously hurt! I mean just think about it! Your body launch an arrow that hit it's eye and nearly felled the beast, WHILE your mind was healing your critically injured friends! Sure it was heroic and all your doing, but something bad could've happened! Plus you're going to need a sleeping bag before you even think about sleep again... All in all you've decided
>Friends are squishy, as always
>You must get tents/sleeping bags
Result
>You have to stop in the nearest city
Dammit...

>Roll 1d100 for adventure in the wilds!
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>1676961
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>1676961
>>
>>1676961
Okay today is my day. No 1s in sight
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>1677032
Forgot to roll

where did Hilda study medicine and how did Sehlum convinced her to join
>>
>>1677042
To be fair you are the only 1
>>
>>1677011
>>1677024
>>1677042

--- Q&A ---
I mentioned briefly during Wolf's fight that Sehlum promised Hilda that he would try and improve her aptitude for magic so she doesn't have to use the mana crystal... This also ties in directly with Hilda being kicked out of her previous profession as a healer, because she didn't have any magic she wasn't as good as wizards.
--- Q&A ---

As you get to walking see a lovely monster's den ripe for the looting. Because everyone knows monsters don't actually have feelings like in that one book, Under-something. Except for blood lust. They have a lot of that.

Being the HEROIC HERO that you are you run ahead to GLORY! And almost fall in a pit >>1677042 Almost. To think if you fell in there you'd be stuck waiting to see who got to you first! Friend or foe! That would be bad, especially since you've miraculously decided that your friends are a tad weaker than you.

But it's all good now, because you didn't fall in, cause your a hero!
But, what to do. what to do..
>Charge for glory and loot
>Continue onward ignoring the loot
>Maybe see what your fighting before you make any rash decisions
>Other

>Regular 1d100 Roll
Sorry for the wait, but I've gotta bounce! See you all tonight!
>>
>>1677100

Almost missed the where did she study! Almost. Locally, Eric's village is pretty much on the edge of the world as far as civilization goes and everything wants easy pickings. She got her training under a wizard, but quickly transferred to more physical practices, for a while it was enough money to keep her stable. But, as the city grew less and less evils dared to threaten it, and people opted for less invasive methods, like magic. And low and behold she became a waitress.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>1677100
Glory and Loot!!

Take Hilda.

Have Sehlum guard the entrance. Splitting up ALWAYS WORKS

(Two 1s and no 100s. These boots, meng.)
>>
>>1677059
That kinda hurts ny feelings mang
>>
>>1677112
That's a really sad story, I understand her grumpyness now. We need to clean her soul fresh again with the desire to help others.
>>
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Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>1677100
Okay
>Maybe see what your fighting before you make any rash decisions
Use our perception here to prepare for the next battle (aka take a look a the place)
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>1677100
>Maybe see what your fighting before you make any rash decisions
>>
>>1677142
Yeeeaaa
>>
>>1677114
>>1677142
>>1677233

And we are back! Let's try extra hard not to fall in the pit, yeah?

As you fight between being an EPIC HERO now or later you don't realize you're slowly creeping towards the pit... Ever so slowly you near the edge of it.. Just a little closer now and you might slip.. And you almost do. >>1677142
Almost... Soon.. soon...

As you idly near the pit through the aid of the fates Sehlum catches up with you and pulls you back before you get yourself stuck! Whew! To think that HEROICS would have to wait for even a second more if you had slipped! Or worse, but come on you're a hero with THE BOOTS, nothing bad can happen to you! Expect for Wolf, and the goblins, and the regular wolves... But you never came out of it without anything that couldn't be healed!

With the looming threat hanging slightly over your head, ...never to be truly forgotten, for the second you do is the second it will strike... You scan the horizon to see what you're facing as of today!
Looking out upon the monster's camp you see...

>What looks like a semi-permanent lodge made of logs and mud
>At least one trap (The Pit)
>And a shadowy figure in the lodge

So, how will you go about smashing this monster's face in! Because anything not living withing city/village boundaries MUST be a monster or villain of some kind!

>You are Hilda
You disagree heavily with the walking bagpipes opinion. You had to camp out a couple of times in the forest, whether it be as a field medic, or unforeseen monetary issues... However, in his defense it does have AT LEAST one trap set up. Maybe you should speak up for once. Or you know, don't, that's a nice option.

>Look for more traps
>Be a welcoming "hero" and say hello
>Commit assault upon the demon within
>Other
Roll 1d100 for each of your choices

Some of you have already been doing this, but I just wanted to state it out loud.... You can pick more than one/all of the suggestions, just make sure to roll for the ones it says to!

>>1677135
That lucky arrow was a good start
>>
Rolled 93, 24, 13 = 130 (3d100)

>>1677701
> Look for traps
> Say Hello
> Don't be an idiot
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>1677701
Okay maybe we need to take it slow and this will work.
>Hey shadooow you there in the lodge! It's the hero here!
>>
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>>1677721
>>1677731

>You are Eric
HERO EXTRAORDINAIRE! You've just spotted like ALL the traps! You just knew all that hero-ing was going to pay off! However, you have a different problem.. Heidi over there is suggesting you all talk out your problems! AND SEHLUMS AGREEING WHAT IS THIS?

>You are HILDA HILDA DAMMIT
You've managed to convince the sane one not to bust down any doors, and he's in turn convinced the "Heroic Hero" not to be retarded. For now. Anyways, you think you'll take the lead on this whole talking thing, once you make sure the idiot is properly tied up...

Also, your not an idiot it's the idiot that needs to not be an idiot, idiot. God you're talking to the voices again... This needs to stop.

Wait... Where's the idiot?

>You are Eric
You are about to be what Harper would call an "idiot", but she's the idiot! Suggesting you TALK to a MONSTER! You're pretty sure you've said this before, but this isn't like that book Under-whatever. No, this is real life! Where you burst into people's homes and demand they stop they're evil doings with little to no repercussions!

AND THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO SO HELP YOU

>You are Samantha
You've decided recently to move away from the city, it's far too loud for your decrepted old bones... Also you scare children. Hey! It's not your fault that you happen to look like a "witch"! And what does that mean anyways? Alchemy's a viable job now a days, but God forbid a woman goes into the profession!

No then you get people busting down doors demanding you stop your evil doings with little to no repercussions. You swear it happens like clockwork even out here! Any minute now some idiot with a pitchfork will fall in a pit and you'll have to drag em out.. Oh. The door's gone. Oh. It's an adventurer. Oh. It's wielding a "dagger." SHIT SMOKE BOMB GOGOGOGO

>You are Eric again
You've burst into the monsters lodge and spotted none other than a witch standing menacingly over a cauldron! Now is the time for action! You were right all along! Wait, she's pouring something into the cauldron?! YOU MUST STOP HER! ONCE THIS SMOKE CLEARS!

>Swing wildly into the mist
>Stop to think about your actions
>[Hilda/Sehlum] STOP THE IDIOT
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>1677762
> Stop to think about your actions
Nat 1 a go!
>>
Rolled 19, 15 = 34 (2d100)

>>1677762
>Hilda stop the idiot!
>Eric make an heroic speech and demand to cease this evildoings!
>>
Rolled 28, 76 = 104 (2d100)

>>1677791
Oh god.
>>
>>1677791
First roll being for Hilda and the second one being for Eric
not like it matters since they both failed
>>
>>1677775
>>1677797

>You are Eric
AND YOU CAN'T HEAR THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD OVER THE SOUNDS OF SCREAMING AND JUSTICE!

Also your totally kicking ass at an epic speech! It'd probably be more epic if this witch would stop screaming and stand still though.

>You are Hilda
And oh God is that a lot of screaming, and a heroic speech? It'd probably be more heroic if Eric wasn't trying to assault someone through the mist... Speaking of which! You can't get bloody close without getting cut by Eric! The crazy bastard is just running around with a knife! And Sehlum's just sitting there shocked!

>You are Samantha
AND THIS NEEDS TO STOP, THIS IS ACTUALLY DANGEROUS! DEAR GOD SOMEONE HELP!

What do you do?
>Swing wildly into the mist
>[Hilda/Sehlum] STOP THE IDIOT
>Other

Don't forget your rolls!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>1677806
> [Sehlum] Intervene. Smooth over the situation by chatting about alchemy.
>>
>>1677815
Oh dear.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>1677806
Eric, it's me, the voice in your head #3. Please hear me out. It's time to cool down
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>1677806
Kick her! We never tried this yet! Goooooo boooots!
>>
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>>1677815

>You are Sehlum
You cannot believe your eyes. Also your beginning to worry about how many of your stories he took to heart... And more importantly which of them. Oh. Hello, Hilda.
>HELP ME IDIOT
Oh, yes. Perhaps you should do something, judging by what you can barely see inside this woman's house you can tell she's an alchemist! Good for her! Not too many people are brave enough to do so because of the witch stigma! Which honestly seems pretty valid right now... Well you know EXACTLY what will calm this situation right down! Alchemy! No not your sleeping potion.. What gave you that idea? No, you're talking about talking about alchemy! They don't really seem to hear you over the din though. You also feel like you're in a mild state of shock.

>You are Hilda
OH GOD HE'S GONNA KILL HER
>You are Samantha
OH GOD HE'S GONNA KILL ME
>You are voice number 3
This seem interesting! Also exciting! You never thought you'd get your time to do something groundbreaking in this story, like break the 4th wall! But here you are! Breaking it!
*Ahem* Eric, it's me, the voice in your head #3. Please hear me out. It's time to cool down.

>You are Eric
There's a lot more screaming going on than before, you're not sure why, but it makes you feel like you've made another mistake... But you're a HERO! However, voice #3 was always one of your favorites, you guess you'll AT LEAST wait to see what happens before you end the witch....

What do you do?
>[Hilda] GRAB THE IDIOT WHILE IT'S THINKING (Roll)
>[Sehlum] Be a little confused on why you're so calm right now while Eric almost stabbed a woman
>[Eric] Wait
>Ease the tension (Roll)
>Other (Roll)
1/2 You can still roll
>>
>>1677864
Do you know your actions have consequences? I know I said that THE BOOTS won't punish you for low rolls, but you just asked Eric to kick someone...
>>
Rolled 77, 74, 24, 43 = 218 (4d100)

>>1677871
>Samantha use calming potion
>Eric use ancient technique of calmkng the fuck down
>Hilda try to grab the idiot
>Sehlum try to get the lady out
>>
Rolled 3, 64, 2, 79 = 148 (4d100)

>>1677885
> This
> Except Sehlum does >>1677815
>>
>>1677889
OP, can we use all of these for sheer hilarity? Samantha gets stoned on her own calming potion, Eric chills out and starts meditating, Helen... HILDA misses and starts groping herself, and Sehlum gives no fucks and continues his lecture on alchemy.
>>
>>1677871
>>1677864

>You are Eric
But you like voice #4 better, it may or may not be do to with wanting sweet, sweet, justice.
Anyways, repercussions later, sweet magic kick to a witch now! GOOO! Oh. Hi there Helena, why are you getting in front of my sweet kick?

Maybe you should stop now... You've just done something not very heroic after all and you're thinking about cutting your losses. Also voice three is screaming at you. You're not sure what happened to voice four, but voice 5 agrees with voice three too.

>You are Hilda
And Goddammit you're going to save this poor old lady if it kills you! Which it just might cause Eric's suddenly gone from motionless to trying to kick her! ...This is gonna hurt.

At least you're a medic.

>You are Samantha
You were about to through down a calming potion, but this nice young man and woman came into help you out. You don't like the fact that they're traveling around with that knife wielding heathen, but the world isn't always fair, at least not to lady alchemists. However, this young man here seems to get it! And you've managed to strike up a pleasant conversation with him!

>You are Sehlum
You figure now that it's quieted down, that it's the perfect time to ask about the lady's profession! She appears to be a bit decrepit, but that just means more time to learn! Your sure you'll get along well with her.

A few minutes later Eric is sitting in a chair facing a wall, Hilda is downing a health potion via Samantha, and Sehlum has just been hit with all that just happened, and has gone out to vomit.
What now?
>Ask some questions
>Continue to the city
>Other

>>1677906
Maybe if you'd said it a bit earlier, but here's a short non-cannon version

>You are Samantha
You've just dropped a very pricey calming potion, but can't bring yourself to care... You've obviously done something to anger this boy and you must make amends!

>You are Eric
You've suddenly forgotten why you were so excited, but that's for later. Now is the time for a spiritual adventure! If only this lady would stop hugging you.

>You are Hilda
Even drugged you refuse to do such a thing, maybe it's you non-aptitude for magic, you don't know

>You are Sehlum
You've found that everyone's finally shut up, and can hear your opinions on toadstool mushrooms, you think they appreciate the insight
>>
>>1677943
> Ask some questions
Who are you, why are you here, have you heard about the goblin attacks?
> Offer the deer steak as apology for the confusion.
>>
>>1677943
>Party
Ask about the women traffic and goblins.
>Samantha
Make granny cookies
>>
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>>1677959

>You are Eric
As you get up to ask some questions and make amends the lady glares. OH GOD VILLAGE FLASH BACKS! Alright, now that that's gone you can get down to business. First off apologies...
>You no longer have the deer steak

Now.. Question time.
As you and your friends settle down next to a bookcase at a table, Sehlum speaks up first... He asks about the main issues such as, have you seen any goblins out here, and is there any women trafficking going on?

The last question earns him a glare and a I guess chivalry is dead, until he explains further... She answers, there used to be goblins all over the place up until recently, she suspects the city guard of taking action, and no, but the alchemist's guild was having an issue with disappearances.

Huh, you didn't think Sehlum would ask the questions that you were going too... Oh well.

>You are Samantha
As you watch the overall 4/10 adventures leave you give the two nice ones cookies for their journey, the third one acts indignant and complains about heroics.
>Cookie x2

You are now back in the wilds
What to do, what to do...
>Star journey again
>[Hilda] Demand Sehlum's promise as it's clear your going to die by the time you reach the city
>Other

>>1677864
Hats where have you gone? I'm sorry!
>>
>>1677884
Of course I know. Thats why this is my fav quest, op
>>
>>1678013
I went out for dinner. And my cellular isp is banned. Couldnt post till I came back. Sorry friend.
>>
>>1678106
It's fine my guy! I had a similar issue a little while ago!

While we wait for the responses to roll in, let's get some filler in here! I set up the thread in an archive a couple of days ago but never posted the link! So here!
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=GOAA
Also, when we manage to reach a 2nd thread it will be put under the same tag as above! GOAA
>>
>>1678127
Start a discord or a twitter, my dude. Posting a turb in a moment
>>
Rolled 37, 67 = 104 (2d100)

>>1678013
Hilda demands Sehlums promise and aims a pointy object at his manly bits.

Eric mindleslly keeps walking into a surprise solo adventure. *he internally weeps about his boots*
>>
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>>1678146
>>1678132
It's gonna be a discord, I'll be setting it up in my free time!

>You are Hilda
You are currently demanding what you were promised! It might be hard to find joy, but not anger! If only could figure out the sheath on this knife!

>You are Sehlum
And this is absolutely adorable, sure it won't be one she get the knife out of the sheath, but for right now life is good. Also, doesn't she know all she has to do is ask? Even Eric appreciates the magics! Well, guess this is a good a place as any for magic...

>You are Eric
It's been a little while, and everyone's strangely quiet, but maybe it's because your regaling one of your new adventure stories for Sehlum and H-Something! This ones about an evil witch that turned out to be a pretty okay lady!

Oh hi there mister docks-man! That must mean your getting close to the city!
Are you up for a journey cross the cursed lake lad? I need some help with a monster...

THE PLOT THICKENS
>Be Eric
>Be [Hilda/Sehlum]
>Talk to the sailor
>Accept generic quest
>Other
>>
>>1678208
> Be Eric
> Talk to the sailor
>>
>>1678217

>You are Eric
Who else would you be? Hanna? But now is not the time for extensional questions! Now is the time for possible ADVENTURE! As you stare into the sailor's eyes you forget what you were going to ask him, did you have anything to ask him in the first place? Probably given that you're a HERO/ADVENTURER

>Talk to the sailor (Any suggestions?)
Or you could derail the situation with the dreaded/amazing
>Other

If there is no other, there is no fan input, therefore there shall always be other
>>
>>1678241
Why talk to the sailor when there is clearly a far more interesting mermaid sitting on a rock near the lake's center?
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>1678241
> Ask about the monster
> Get fishing tips
> Make bad sea pun
>>
>>1678247
>>1678250
Supporting these.
Can we buy fish from him?
>>
>>1678250
>>1678247

As you talk with the sailor about sailor things you learn some stuff like:
>Mermaids are almost always traps
Your not sure if he means the vulgar version, or a literal trap... You don't want to find out, therefore you ignore the mermaid. For now
>The monster is a giant squid.
How that generic overused meme/monster got there is beyond the sailor, but he wants it gone. It's name is obvious.
>Fishing takes patience
And should be done without giant squid's present.
>Bad sea pun
Your not sure if you can SEA this as a question, but SEA your already doing it anyways! And you're not even doing it on PORPOISE! The sailor responds with don't give me that LINE! And you say you're a little LAKE now! Ha! You're sure that one really HOOKED him! You've been dying to TROUT that one! So, WATER you feeling about this? Are you ONBOARD with it? I FUCKING LOVE PUNS
>Can you buy fish from him
He opens up his trench coat reviling a -TUNA- fish stuck to the inside! In fact his entire coat is as packed as -SARDINES-!

>You are Hilda
For some reason you feel extremely disappointed in Eric
>>
>>1678330
Mermaids are traps. But the monster in question is a squid... in a lake... did the mermaid mindfuck this sailor?
>>
Okay, let's help the sailor. How can we do this? I don't think we have anything that works underwater.
>>
>>1678370
Never underestimate the power of the dark side of a generic fantasy setting. Biology? Geology? Pshh. Never heard of em.
>>
>>1678379
I am pushing for a non cliche mermaid boss battle
>>
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>>1678370
>>1678379
>>1678372
>>1678383
Does that even exist? All I can think of is the whole mermaid allure and then breaking it as cliche.

>You are Eric
You've thought long and hard about this new battle your facing, you'd like to say you've thought of ALL the possibilities! Like a sailor/mermaid bastard baby squid, or attacking the mermaid because it's shifty. And especially how a GIANT squid would fit in a LAKE, granted it is a pretty big lake, but still. You can't rule out the possibility of the sailor drowning you at see cause mermaids! Also you don't want your knife to rust, so your best underwater attack is either... Grapple or the bow. Course you could ask for a harpoon.

>Be Hilda
>Ask for weaponry
>INTERROGATE ABOUT MERMAID MIND POWERS (Roll)
>Attack shifty mermaids (Roll)
>Other
>>
>>1678426
Interrogate about mind powers!
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>1678438
>>
>>1678441
> This is fine
>>
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>>1678438
>>1678441
>>1678478

It's definitely not cliche

>You are Eric
As your brain thinks up more and more possible senarios they all start linking up in your head.... It's all so clear now. So, very, very clear... The human kingdoms want more money, but can't find a reason to tax the people more so they recruit mermaids to lead people to there dooms on any body of water, thus being able to charge safety taxes, and if someone doesn't comply they simply don't have to sail! Because the mermaids will convince said person there's a dangerous, non-existent threat in the water, that requires dealing with. So, logically the sailor will go back and pay the security tax and suddenly the big scary monster is gone!

The other one your working on has to do with a triangle and the number three, but you need more data for it.

As you probe the mind of the sailor dancing ever so delicately around the real problem you find out that he is in fact being mind controlled!
>"Are you in being mind controlled by a mermaid?"
>"Probably, I mean it's right over there."

OH GOD YOU'VE LEARNED TO MUCH AND THEY'VE COME TO SILENCE YOU, YOU MUST FIGHT BACK

>Bow: Activate (Roll)
>Knife: Throw (Roll)
>Rope: Lasso (Roll)
>Other
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>1678488
Lasso. Catch mermaid and make it grant a wish!
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>1678504
> DyingHorribly.jpg
>>
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>>1678504
>>1678509

As you slowly turn around you launch your lasso at the thing moving around in the water and start to drag it up onto land the mermaid responds by slashing the rope (-5ft) and starts to flop back to the lake!

You mustn't let this sea demon get away with it's transgressions of aiding in corporate greed! Back to hell with you!

>ACTIVATE BOOTS OF WATER WALKING
>Rope (45ft): Lasso
>Bow: Activate
>Knife: Throw
>Other

Since when do they grant wishes? I've never heard that one before!
>>
Rolled 52, 74 = 126 (2d100)

>>1678539
> BOOTS
> Other: THE POWER OF BOOTS COMPELS YOU!
>>
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>>1678558

You charge the monster with a blood-lust for vengeance in committing crimes against man! As you charge it your BOOTS don't quite carry you along the water but it isn't long before you can [Grapple] the monster! As you wrap your arms around the slimy scales you almost lose focus of your true goal, but none can overpower THE BOOTS will, and none ever will. Simply because the boots wish it dead it shall be. You drag it to the surface screeching and tear it apart in a rage you have never felt apart from now. The creature, not quite human, not quite monster lay dead at your feet.
>Mermaid Scales (Rare Alchemy Ingredient)

As you come out of your daze you notice the sailor staring at you.
>"Guess I wasn't mind controlled, still thank ya, it's a hassle to have to set up look outs for the creatures... So, you wanna kill the squid now?"

What do you do?
>Be Hilda
>Accept quest
>Return to party
>Other
>>
>>1678599
> This squid, it's not of a... Japanese persuasion?
>>
>>1678622
Everyone knows those stories are just myths Anon... If the weren't then.. Well, all that's important is that they're myths
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>1678629
Meh, frak it. 1 we take the quest, 2 we skip it.
We let Hildefrau stay on shore just in case.
>>
>>1678639
Oh noes. I rolled a 1. It's a failure. We're all doomed.
We return you to your regularly scheduled programming...
>>
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>>1678629
>>1678639

--- Notice ---
Finished setting up the probably terrible discord... But that's what the suggestion box is for!
https://discord.gg/fXMjmju
Hope I set it up right....
--- Notice ---

>You are Eric
Your actually feeling meh about the whole adventure thing.... But any ones are ones.

>You are Hilda
The ground is shaking, and not because of you or Sehlum, but because a giant squid just rose out of a nearby lake... Dammit Eric, don't you know that ones are ones no matter ho small the roll.

>You are Sehlum
You're feeling pretty secure in your place in life, the demon of the two ones has gone and passed... But now, now>>1678650 has forgotten the rules of the one. The squid will be summoned, better than ever...

Unless it doesn't, I suppose that could always happen
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>1678657
> Attempt... DIPLOMANCY!
Not to be confused with Brontomancy or Deinonychancy.
>>
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>>1678669

>You are Eric
My God, it's giant, but more giant than it's name suggests.... You must attempt to sway it to the forces of good. For all of mankind! Anything that is this big must be either destroyed or allied with, but what exactly could you use it for? Doesn't matter... You must make a new friend!

>Squid
Squid eat fish. Sailor take fish. Squid sink boat. Talk only three. Squid very misunderstood.

Who do you side with the sailor or Squid
>Squid
>Sailor (Roll)
They both fit in the niche as predator, and in order to successfully stabilize it, there must only be one... ONE FISH EATER TO STABILIZE THE ECOSYSTEM IN ORDER TO PROMOTE A HEALTH FUTURE FOR IT, OTHER WISE IT RUNS THE RISK OF COLLAPSE
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>1678722
> Attempt the impossible! The improbable! The highly implausible!
> Fishing Schedule! [Diplomancy Check: Difficult!]
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>1678735
And now I'm allergic to exclamation marks.
Roll for inevitable fight.
>>
>>1678735

>You are Eric
AND YOU ARE SCREAMING, BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT OF SOMETHING TOO DIFFICULT, BUT LUCKILY FOR YOU, YOU HAVE FRIENDS!

>>1678739
OR PREPARE FOR A FIGHT IF THEY FAIL

>Roll for Hilda's Diplomacy
>Roll for Sehlum's Diplomacy
>>
Rolled 6, 69 = 75 (2d100)

>>1678748
> BOTH! Because I am a monster.
And addicted to exclamation marks, apparently.
>>
>>1678753
Well... Looks like Hilda's got a bit of a fetish phobia of wriggling, tentacular... things.
>>
>>1678753

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp3RaRI_sQA&list=PL661F534D5EB64093&index=7

As Hilda has flashbacks to times where myths became reality Sehlum approaches the stand.

>You are Sehlum
You can do this... You have all the facts you need to end this right here and now! All you have to do is get it out there!

You! Sailor, this squid has not yet been listed in either the invasive species list, nor does it have an approved hunting season! For unwittingly having random citizens take part in illegal activities you could very well be locked up for a long time! But lucky for you, Mr. Squid here asks that you only refrain from using the lake every couple of years in order to let the fish repopulate, as well as only fish in the southern half of the lake! Also! In order to maintain a steady stream of fish throughout the years that the lake will be in use the middle of the lake is not to be used by either parties! Case Closed!

>You are Eric
You're currently clapping and cheering! This is gonna be great! You've finally solved a really issue without death, and it's not even that bad.. Now back to the old grind

>Go to city
>Check up on Hilda, for magic info
>Other
>>
>>1678803
> Provide Hilda with some aftercare
> Magic info, and start teaching H-bomb some spells of nuclear destruction They're safest in the hands of a healer, right? Right? ...Guys?
> See if we can scrounge for some cooking and alchemy ingredients
> City
>>
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>>1678842

>You are Eric
Waitress seems to be having an issue, and you don't think it's you calling her by the wrong name... You're starting to run out of those by the way.... But she seems to be calming down the further away you get from Squid so that's good! Okay, so now that she's officially stopped hyperventilating, it's time to ask how the magic went!

Not well. *Ahem* And you don't think you should restate some of the rather colorful language she just shared with you. Very un-heroic that language... In short, aptitude defines how much mana you can hold, and how efficiently it's used. Mana crystals are okay, but using your body is best for quick recharge rates! Anyway, apparently it can be increased, but very slowly.. Like a turtle working out.

Activate ingredient roll
>Roll 1d100 for Ingredients

After that you'll go out on a limb and say that you'll reach the city by nightfall, and no you didn't just jinks yourself!

Sorry for the short hold up
>>
Woo. I thought I missed the end of the run. Tonight is rough on me.
>>
>>1678917
Life is rough on everyone, tis why we escape to fantasy worlds - Some Wise Person Maybe

Well, we'd all love your input on the situation! Once, you catch up of course!
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>1678901
Ingredients

While travelling, Eric asks Sehlum why he didn't catch the dire wolf or the squid with those "monster cards" that have been popular lately?
>>
My rolls tonight are about as good as my attendance
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>1678901
I forgot to mention, have _someone actually compentent_ provide aftercare. Psychological health is important, people!

>>1678931
Sword and Sorcery! Great dragons and evil goblins! High Fantasy! [quasi-consensual] Tentacle Monsters! - No RPG advertisement ever. Possibly.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>1678901
>>
>>1678973
YES! Thanks for the save.
>>
>>1678961
Not enough Lewd
>>
>>1678989
Meh. It's a blue board, and not in the UK sense. I've been simply alluding to the tastefully-censored juicy bits.

Though if OP doesn't mind too terribly I'll probably skip the allusion from here on out. It's horribly indirect, after all.
>>
>>1679007
If there was any, it went over my head.
>>
>>1678961
You underestimate people's curiosity
>>1678973
>>1678953

>You are Eric
As you start you start to collect flora of any taste, so long as it's not poisonous, you can't help but feel like someone just one upped you through time and space. This leaves your narcissism at an all time low and that just can't stand. You're gonna one up them by being the best at gathering!

(Total)
>Cooking Ingredients x3
>Healing Ingredients x3
>Alchemy Ingredients x3

Ah everything's better in high numbers, for some reason you're tempted to feel this way about the world itself as well.

Now, it's time for some late night chitchat...
You vaguely ask why Sehlum didn't just capture the monster using those new magic cards, and he said 1.They're illegal do to a massive shipment of gryphons being "accidentally" let loose in a major trade city. And 2. They're terribly expensive on the black market

>>1679007
L-Lewd, just don't get the thread taken down Anon
>>
>>1679011
Tentacle monsters of the Japanese persuasion? Here and I thought that cliche spanned the entirety of the internet.

Then again, it's a fantasy RPG. I suppose I forgot to mention the busty, scantily-clad barmaids, the obligatory damsels in distress, and the complete sexual dimorphism in armor sets.
And I mustn't forget the black-leather-clad evil female villain given to speaking with a german accent and carrying a riding crop.


That enough tastefully-censored lewds for you?
>>1679023
These lewds tastefully censored enough for you?
>>
>>1679023
So... we beat up the black market and take their stuff! Like HEROES!


After this P.I.M.P. guy I guess.
>>1679037
Time to get Hilda lewd bikini armor
>>
>>1679041
Sounds like a plan. Two plans, in fact.
Hmm... Does our protagonist even have enough mental capacity to hold on to more than one plan at a time?

...

Don't answer that.

Well, I suppose that's what we're for.
>>
>>1679023

>You are Eric

As you all near the city and get settled in an inn for a reasonable price, you all eat a ration

>-3 Rations
>4 Rations Left

>-3g
>166 party gold

As you sit in the room you decide to slowly answer the voices question, some might question your sanity, but it's always been like this, and they're starting to help!

>>1679037
Definitely not as bad as I thought it was going to be, especially since you "had to" ask

>>1679041
Hilda is not amused, also Sehlum tells you that's not exactly how the black market works, but maybe it will be in do time.

>>1679046
Whose mental capsity are you putting into question? SURELY NOT THE BEST AND ONLY HERO'S? ... You have friends who can remember for you
>>
>>1679075
The pic. Oh god. My sides are in space!

Time to catch squids! Maybe if we roll 99s we can find a blank MonsterMon card.
>>
>>1679075
Dinnae ye worra, I ain't aboot tae start writin' materials o' explicet an' obscene nature on a blue board.
I may randomly break out into a Scots-Pirate accent, however.
>>
>>1679094
All I can think of was G.TOPs waifu quest where the main character was a level 5 cock mage and married a harem of monster girls
>>
>>1679075
Jesus it took far to long to make that... I need a better way to keep inventory.. Hang on a moment

>You are Eric
As a new day dawns in this new city you think to yourself of all the possibilities! While, you're still a bit away from P.I.M.P. going to a new city! Meeting new people! Having metropolis based religion quests and uncovering the seafaring underbelly of this city! It's gonna be great!!!!!

>You are Hilda
It's a city. You've lived in one all your life, in fact you pretty much watched it rise up and crush your dreams. You do not care for cities.

>You are Sehlum
You're ALMOST exited as Eric, you're also not sure if it's possible to be as excited as Eric, but you digress.. Today you're going to get to go see the seafaring underbelly of the city and buy insane wizard things! What insane wizard things? WELL I'M GLAD YOU ASKED \/

So [generic wat do sentence]
>Destroy/Buy from black market, not necessarily in that order
>EXPLORE! ADVENTURE! HYPERVENTILATE! (Where to? Shops, guilds, guards, quest board?)
>TRY to recruit this Inn's waitress
>Other

>>1679090
/\ I can do you one better
>>1679094
Tis expected of ye, 'specially now dat you're in a seafarin' town
>>1679097
Well then. It appears this thread won't be taken down anytime soon if that exists

Note: I'm going to try to write the response to this and then go to bed, helps me get that morning update in!
>>
>>1679090
Of course it won't be easy and may or may not destroy everything... Oh, and of course it'll be based off a roll! Try and make sure lady luck doesn't hate you, or don't take Eric... It'll probably have the same effect
>>
>>1679111
> Explore. (Quest board! Crafting stations! Training grounds! Everywhere else!)
> Teach Henrietta- HILDA! some magic
> Make replacement acid bombs
> Try not to piss off Fantasy!EPA for gross environmental destruction potential
>>
>>1679128
> Horribly fail at all of the above.
It's what Eric we do, after all.
>>
>>1679111
I'm assuming new thread within a couple days? We are four days and 400 posts in, after all.
Which appears to be pretty damn good for /qst/.
>>
>>1679111
>Explore. (Quest board! Crafting stations! Training grounds! Everywhere else!)
>>
>>1679178
>>1679128
Some say sleep still eludes me to this day... Also, you've done enough good with Squid to keep the hounds at bay a little longer
>>1679159
I was planning on reaching the bump limit before I create a new one, but just vote if you want a new one "now" and I'll get to it!

>You are Eric
And you have THE BEST plan for today so what your gonna do is..

>Visit the Quest Board/Do Quest
>Visit the Alchemist/Healing guilds and make E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
>Next up is the training grounds, your sure the guards won't mind
>Then it's off to the religious places, cause cults?
>Next up the docks to pick up information about the world/black market
>And finally, the black market!

LET'S GO! TEAM BREAK!

As you near the quest board in the city you see laying upon it...
>Shut down illegal trades - 250g
Looks like it's been up here before you were born... Definitely up your alley.
>Look into/shut down weird boot cult in town - 50g
Hey! They didn't capitalize BOOTS that's disrespectful! Your thinking about leaving that for someone else
>Other (THE POWER YOU NOW HOLD MUSTN'T BE ABUSED, or do I can't physically stop you...)

>>1678842
HOLY SHIT I ALMOST MISSED IT...
You would give Hilda an AMAZING WIZARD SPELL, but you don't know any and Sehlum keeps insisting that he's an alchemist not a wizard and then going on rants, but you'll break through soon.... soooon...
>>
>>1679239
ANND GOODNIGHT (City Name) IT'S BEEN GREAT TO HAVE YOU! DON'T FORGET TO JOIN US NEXT TIME!

ALSO CONSIDER CHECKING OUT THE BRAND NEW DISCORD FOR ALL YOUR QUEST RELATED NEEDS
https://discord.gg/fXMjmju
>>
>>1679239
Meh. We'll hit bump limit in two days worth of sessions, so that's fine. Just wanted a general timetable.

>>1679260
GOODNIGHT, OP! This is a damn fun quest, and you're great to run with. See you tomorrow! (today? Bah, timezones.)
>>
>>1679239
Team split! Sehlum and Hilda take care of black market.

Eric solos the BOOT cult. Like a HERO
>>
>>1679275
Time holds no meaning, except it does because even though it's argued humans created time, it was still a force of change long before we labeled it. A.K.A. Bah, timezones.
And thanks! Always appreciated!

>>1679884

--- Morning Update ---
There's not too much to talk about today.. There's a new discord. Any questions? Also, I will be taking questions in the discord and here! So, yep.
--- Morning (I guess) Update ---

>You are Eric
As you stare down the quest board you decide to take up the black market quest, of course.. However, you think you have some questions about how to better serve THE BOOTS, and those nice people deserve to know that this is up here!

Sadly, being a hero can't come first for you today... You have to figure out what's up with this blasphemous quest..
PARTY SPLIT
>Be [Hilda/Sehlum]
>Be Eric
>Be Samantha
>Be Squid
>Be Wolf - aren't you dead?
>Be Guard-bro
>Other
>>
>>1679998

As you've probably guessed, and if not I'm currently explaining it, so listen up! I'm not ready for a full fledged update, especially when I'm going to have to write two... So let's get some filler in! Also, I'm going to have to be gone be 9:30 today... But I'll be on tonight!
>>
>>1680001
What time is it for you? So miniquest?


Be squid. Wiggle in that lake, yo. Make friends!
>>
>>1680017
9:10 as of right now...
>>
>>1679998
Goodmorning OP!
------------------
>Be Eric
>Investigate about the boot cult
Something tells me Eric might not be the most unbiased person to take care of this
>>
>>1680021
Filler quest time!
Dire Wolf in the Astral Plane!
>>
>>1680017
Supporting this, just saw the 9.30 time.
>be squid
>contemplate our sad existance as the only squid of this lake
>>
>>1680034
Oooh
>>
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>>1680001

>Be Squid
Squid learn more word. Sailor okay friend now. Can speak in four word. Squid desires new friend. Lake only have food. Squid must go adventure! But Squid know four. Four not enough usually.
>Dock
>Woods
>Give Up
>Other

>You are Sailor
You suspect that Squid is going to try to leave the lake soon... While this is good for business, it's not good for pretty much anyone else. You guess you'll help him out with words. Did you know he can only speak four at a time? And that's an improvement!
>Visit the Docks
>Wriggle in the woods
>Give Up
>Other

>>1680034
>You are Wolf
You feel that whatever's currently happening is a little off topic, but whatever. Also that whole dogs don't have soul thing, not true. You're having a little trouble with the "finding your way to hell part" of your soul quest. But it's starting to get boring just watching the idiots that killed you. Yes, you've managed to deduce that they are in fact idiots. So, soul quest go.
But how?
>Find Necromancer
>Other

>>1680034
>>1680040
I STILL GOT TEN MINUTES JUST HAVE TO WRITE FASTER

>>1680026
All in good time my friend, and no probably not.
>>
>>1680043
Also what do you think about making this/ something like this the regular morning update? That way..
>No loose ends
>Random breather quests
>>
>>1680043
>Squid and sailor have a meaningful 4 word conversation at the docks. Sailor teaches new word: love
>Wolf concentrates really hard to look for an animal necromancer. How many soul credits does he have?
>
>>
>>1680050
This. Gogogogo
>>
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>>1680050
>>1680053

Final update for now sadly

>You are Squid
Squid think want love. Forbidden Squid sailor love. Squid daydream about love.
>You are sailor
Okay so now Squid is just flopping around... Sensually. You think you'll leave him be, and ignore the obvious residual affects of the mermaid hypnosis. That's all it is. Hopefully

>You are Wolf
Sure all the necromancers take up for the humans, but noooo! One talking wolf later and it's too expensive, or your a danger to society! As for soul credits.. Well, they're generally based off how "good" a person you are by the divines standards, and apparently EATING isn't "GOOD"... Let's just say you'll owe someone a couple favors.
>>
>>1680058
Wolf follows familiar scent. He sniffs out the mortal alchemist. Maybe haunting dreams is good enough for now?
>>
>>1680058
Sensually Squid Flopping or sesqflo for short sounds sexy af wiggle

As for the morning updates, im all up for any kind of updates but ill probably contribute evenless due to uni. But it's nice having some fun in the morning!

Cool quest! Waiting for the night!
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>1680058
Hilda wakes up from her wierd dream and starts checkin her self if she's hurt or something.

Then she starts checking up the other two and realizes that Eric has a concussive wound on his head and his inane behaviour (downright suicidal acts and loss of common sense) is mostly attributed to it.
Now if only she could find a good potion to revive Erics brain with... Hm that ''L _ _ E''(letters smudged in octopus ink) potion over ther on Serholms table seems to be a good healing potion, better try that on Eric.
Even if something goes wrong it's just that idiot anyway.
>>
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>>1680071
>>1680100
Next morning update my friends
>>1680235
Thank goodness for that roll!

AND WE'RE BACK

>You are Hilda
You've been awake for a while, the idiot dragged you out to the town's mercenary board, but he keeps calling it a quest board... Just another reason to suspect he has brain damage or some shit. Earlier when he was still asleep you tried force feeding him some vial the alchemist had too see if it would cure him, but even in his sleep he's a force of "good." When you tried to get it down his gullet he slapped you and mumbled stay back vile temptress in his sleep. Just another reason to hate him and life just that tad bit more....

However things are looking up! Sehlum's gotten tasked by the "All powerful hero" to go and rip apart the black market with magic. Of course that's not how it's going to go down, but whatever you're going to get a sick magic thing that solves all your problems! Except the magic one given your luck.

>You are Sehlum
You have the feeling that a spirit is looming over you, but you don't have time for your gandpappy's sage wisdom! You already know how to properly make a bunt cake! Also you're busy heading to the docks to being your investigation on where to find sick magic loot. Well, buy sick magic loot. Usually you have contacts, but every time you mention your name to one they say it's not respectful to take a dead guys name. You swear... HAS NO ONE HEARD OF NECROMANCERS? Whatever, it just means a bit of a longer wait, then shopping...
Ah finally the docks! INVESTIGATION START
>Become Seh-holms the best detective
>Start dialogue with those salty sailors
>Other

>Roll 1d100 for each choice

>You are Eric
You've arrived at a surprisingly ominous looking church.. There's a ton of shoes outside, none of them so much as compare to your BOOTS! From inside you can hear powers being listed off and shuffling! Don't they know the dangers of calling upon THE BOOTS too often?! YOU MUST STOP THIS HERESY
>Stop heresy (Roll)
>Preach the words of BOOTS
>Inquire
>Other
>>
>>1680628

Sehlum
Ask sailors about missing shipments. Have Hilda "flirt" if they are tight lipped.

Eric
Kick the door in with YOUR OWN BOOTS
>>
Rolled 59, 93 = 152 (2d100)

>>1680651
Muh rolls!
>>
Rolled 19, 67 = 86 (2d100)

>>1680651
Rolando
>>
Rolled 89, 12, 44 = 145 (3d100)

>>1680628
> PREACH THE WORD OF ZE BOOTS! (roll for activation)
>>1680651
Also this.
>>
>>1680628
Yer name and trip fell off, boss.
>>
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>>1680654
>>1680671
>>1680687

>You are Sehlum
You decide to go with the missing products approach. You 'll figure that they'll figure that you know exactly what products are missing, and were never there to begin with, as is the norm in black markets. As you start to gather some info away from prying eyes you learn not only the location of the market, but a few of their products!
>MonsterMon Cards
>Varieties of weaponry
>Magic that spans the ages

You find out that the location of the black market is under the proxy Red Barrel Bar. Hilda almost got you caught, but it was easy enough to cover over... You just hope next time she takes her top off it's in a more isolated area.

As you near the bar and begin to utter the literal magic words you find that you're soon drifting beneath the wooden floorboards and stone foundations into a a cave filled with stalls of all shapes, and even houses a port. Although there is no exit as far as you can see... Not one for you either, not unless you get the guard to let you out. Stealing or destroying this place is going to be impossibly hard, but not impossible! You just need to meet the right people, and where better to stage a heist than in a black market?!

So where to first?
>Magic
>Weaponry
>CARDS
>Other

>You are Eric

As your BOOTS meet wood it splinters upon it's landing nearly kicking the, quite impressive, church door off it's hinges and leaves it with only the bottom hinge to it's name. As you storm into the hall and witness the horror of malnourished peasants stomping their boots in the dust you below HERESY! All stop to look at you and bask in the light of THE BOOTS. You have the heretics attention, but this isn't the end, no not by a long shot.... As you approach what looks to be the high priest you ready your argument!

What do THE BOOTS will?
>Talk it out (Roll) (44)
>Fight it out (Roll)
>Other

>>1680688
Dawns mask, now the true quest can begin
>>
Rolled 45, 84 = 129 (2d100)

>>1680694
I'm assuming 44 is our DC for this action?
> Other: Sell greater wolf meat and pelt
> Talk it out.
>>
Rolled 61, 9 = 70 (2d100)

>>1680694
>Sehlum go for the goddam cards why are we destroying this again
>Eric: INFIDELS! YOU'RE ADORING A FALSE IDOL. It's time for you to cease this madness!
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>1680694
Sehlum goes after CARDS. The closest thing to magic. He hears a ghostly growl however.

Preach Gospel of BOOTS
>>
>>1680730
>>1680728
I dunno Eric? You don't have to
>>1680705
You had already rolled while I was writing, so I put your roll down for what you would've put

>You are Sehlum
As you near the stand selling "exotic" pelts and meats you take out the greater wolf steak (Enhanced) and decide to pawn it... But what should you pawn it for? This is the black market after all. As you place the pelt and steak on the table you feel a shiver run down your spine and hear the echo of the long dead. NOT NOW GRADPAPPY.

>Different Pelt/Meat
>Information
>150g

>You are Hilda
Sehlum gave you ALL of the parties cash and told you to go get some stupid trading cards, but you have other plans.. Bigger plans, plans that if they succeed might make you a "hero" at worst, or a "successful nurse" at best. And those are much better options than you've had in a while. But you guess cheating your "friend," excluding idiot, is a pretty shitty thing to do...

>GET CARDS (Roll)
>Get magical powers that might just solve most of your issues (Roll)
>Other

>You are Eric
As you reach the priest you calm down and begin to call out both to him and the crowd, explaining the glory of THE BOOTS. And how you shouldn't take it for granted, least you get smote down! How a sorcerer wanting to keep THE BOOTS for himself decided to seal away IT'S EVERLASTING GLORY! And now it's up to THE BOOT wielders to reawaken it's long lost power! As the tale continues on and you describe your journey and your good deeds in the name of BOOTS you find yourself among alike kin that were simply lost... You briefly feel the pull of the divines saying something like "INFIDELS! YOU'RE ADORING A FALSE IDOL." However THE GLORIOUS BOOTS easy you of this thought.

>Eric joined THE BOOT CULT
>Eric's standing with TBC is CHOSEN ONE

Now that you've taught them the light.. What now? I mean you don't really want to go back to the Inn, and who knows where Sehlum and Hilary are!

>Ask BOOT questions (Topics needed)
>Other

Unless it says to roll you don't have to, but for Other you always have to.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>1680761
Actually, I had a BOOTS activation roll [1], and was rolling to back up another set of choices [2, 3]
> Gold (unless someone has a better option)
> CARDS (See above)
> I have no clue what to ask. Pls halp, anon.
>>
>>1680761
Hilda
Get cards! For senpai!

Eric
Burn all non boots
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>1680777
Better yet, put our tailoring prowess to work. Convert non-boot footwear to GLORIOUS BOOTS! Please ignore the impossibility of this action, that's what the dice are for.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>1680761
>Ask boot related questions
How many times a day you clean and kiss your boots? Are dark oak boots better or do you guys prefer brownish green? Do they know any rituals to make it easier to unveill their bootly power?

>Sehlum
Sell it on disccount for 50g in exchange for information on who rules this place. Let's see if we can find a weak point

>Hilda
Super nurse here we go (roll)
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>1680777
Rolling for Hats.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>1680777
>>
>>1680816
...Or he can roll for himself. And better, too.
Can I convince you to go with >>1680796 instead?
>>
>>1680824
Sure, friend
>>
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>>1680771
That... Makes a lot more sense actually
>>1680777
>>1680796
>>1680801

>You are Hilda
You're losing your train of thought to thoughts that will never come to fruition. You shall remain a stagnant and uncaring person dammit! However, the cards do sound pretty okay, but super nurse sounds just a bit better.

As you near a kiosk with magical trinkets you scan over the items and what they do... Ah there!
>Mana well (In the form of an earring) - 80g
Naturally stores your mana with "no" cap
>Cards x6 - 200g
(Roll/Suggest What's in them)
>Draining Staff - 100g
Creates mana at the expense of life force, doesn't have to be yours
>Back

>You are Sehlum
You've just made 50g off just the wolf steak!
>50g
>216 party gold
Also you've just acquired some good information... You want to know who runs this place, as much the shop keep can spare, and boy does he spare it. The owner of this place is kept under wraps, no one truly knows who it is only that there are rumors of an internal power struggle between him and someone only know as P.I.M.P. The trader suggests that if you're going to go asking around about it, you might want to pick a side first... If they come out on top they'll owe you big. So, the choice here is quite obvious, side with regular mob boss and tell him of your info, maybe promise to stop P.I.M.P. which you're already doing and bam! Free stuff! The only issue is finding either parties proxy...
>Side with P.I.M.P.
>Side with R.M.B

>You are Eric
As you've sat with the elders and set a nice non-boot fire you think that you're starting to learning something! You can clean/kiss your BOOTS so long as you are alive, but the norm is 3 times a day before each meal. All boots are glorious, however there is only one true pair of BOOTS, and those are the ones you have on. There are no know rituals, only luck and THE BOOTS can guide you down the right path! So, what next?
>Train ___
>Cook
>Other

>>1680824
https://discord.gg/zxwGqTS
This is useful right? Why don't we decide there!
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>1680907
> Side with R.M.B
Hopefully, we won't end up face-down in the river.
> Train Tailoring
Gotta keep our holy footwear in good shape, after all.
Dice just because.
Never used discord before, but I might as well.
>>
>>1680907
>Hilda
Use your charm to try an get a discount

>Eric
THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO TRAIN YOUR NEW BOOT DANCE

im at loss with the pimp and rmb things, what would sehlum do? Im inclined to supporting the rmb
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>1680907
Monstermon cards!

>Fairy Lady- She will increase your mana reserves so long as she is out of her card. She is very demure in appearance, but is very passive to danger.

>Muck Slime- Poisonous sentient goop that can clog up passages and stink up any room

>Succubus- Keep it away from the boys

>Imp Salesman- Can sell your goods fast and immediately, but he takes a 20% cut of the profit.

>Ghost Armor- Super durable, but has fragile emotions. Cries a lot.

>Clockwork Whale- Built by gnomes lomg ago... its basically a boat.
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>1680945
Forgot to roll for Hilda
>>
>>1680945
Please apply >>1680935 to this action, OP.
>>
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>>1680935
Never have either, but it was a suggestion and low an behold! It's fun so far
>>1680945
>>1680946
>>1680947

>You are Hilda
As you glance over the magical items you decide to just pick up the cards. As you pay for them you glance over what they are...
>-150g
>66 party gold

>Fairy Lady
Increases mana, is a pacifist
>Muck Slime
A smellier and more poisonous version of the regular slime
>Succubus
L-Lewd
>Imp Salesman
Better prices, lower profits (takes 20% of the earnings)
>Ghostly Armor
This poltergeist has managed to get stuck in a suit of armor, and is not enjoying it one bit
>Clockwork Wale
ONWARD ACROSS THE GREAT SEAS! Do not use on land.

The last card you kinda want to put on land and see what happens.... Does that make you a bad person? Also, you didn't use your charms, you just gave him less money and he didn't notice. (Rejoined Sehlum)

>You are Sehlum
You've just thought of something that would break multiple laws if you put it into action, but you just HAVE to see if it'll work... All the more reason to find this P.I.M.P.

As you ponder this a trio of very buff men decked out to the teeth with magical and non-magical weaponry drag you and Hilda away and have a nice "chat" with the stall owner. You hope you don't end up face-down in a river after this, necromancy is far too expensive! A Wolf somewhere agrees You soon find yourself in a plush office belonging to a slighly portly man behind the desk.. He speaks up.
>"So. I heard you were asking some, VERY, interestin' questions."

Shit. Well, you got your wish at least you got your wish.
>Reason, and propose offer against P.I.M.P.
>UNLEASH ALL THE CARDS
>Other

>You are Eric
You decide to do some training while you wait for Sehlum and Hazel to get back. After all it's not like they've been captured by a R.M.B. and are one wrong word away from a watery grave! That's ludicrous! Okay, tailor training now...

>>1681015
Tis done, I'm not going to intentionally discard a choice unless everyone disagrees with it! Also, if your asking for the roll, sure?
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>1681129
> Propose offer against PIMPle.
Were we supposed to come up with a reason or an offer?
>>
>>1681129
Hilda releases Muck Slime. Everyone vomits. EVERYONE.

Eric
Keep training until you no longer have holes in your underpants
>>
>>1681176
You don't have too, but if you want to go into specifics then sure
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>1681182
Roll for Muck Slime
>>
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>>1681176
>>1681182
>>1681189

>You are Sehlum
You're trying to be rather calm about this, and explain exactly what it was you were asking, and your decision. And it seems to be working! The more profitable this seem to R.M.B. the more on board he is! Now if Hilda would just stop poking you, you think you can seal the deal!

>You are Hilda
You're sweating bullets, you've no idea what Sehlum did or how you're going to get out of this... Well you have one idea, but you want Sehlum's opinion first. If he would stop ignoring your nudges! Whatever, this is his fault anyways.. Time to enact surprise attack.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YCQBSL4_JI

>You are Sehlum
>You are vomiting
>You are Hilda
>You are vomiting
>You are EVERYONE in the room
>You are vomiting

>You are Eric
>You've just about managed to fix your underpants!

>You are Sehlum
You've just stopped vomitting and returned the slime to it's card.. And taking Hilda's cards away. Time to recover.....
>Recover (Roll)
>Other
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>1681252
Recover (roll)

Eric
Set up a donation box at your cult so you can get some sweet income.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>1681252
Rolling for recovery. Tell BMP this was a taste of your power and how an alliance sounds benefitial.
>>
>>1681277
>>1681328
You're talking with R.M.B, not too sure what you meant, but just figured I should clear it up

>You are Sehlum
And you are floundering, but you're slowly getting there again.. Mostly by promising it won't happen again, and more and more out there promises. But he finally relaxes when you say that you'll "get rid of" P.I.M.P. for him. Of course he isn't too happy when you squeak out the for a price part, but he still says sure. Once, you prove you've gotten rid of him. Wow, this P.I.M.P. person must have a long reach if R.M.B. just gave up on ending you like that... Well, it was going to be your funeral anyways because of Eric, so it's probably best not to dwell on it. Right?
>Dwell on it
>Go meet up with Eric
>Stay and shop some more
>Other

>You are Hilda
This is taking WAY too long, you're not sure how long it's supposed to take, but it's also obvious that R.M.B. is just trying to kill you both... Therefore it is card time
>You Pull Out.. (Roll 1d7)
1-6 is a card, 7 is to stop. Also roll a 1d100 for recover/flee

>You are Eric
You think briefly of going back and setting up a donations box for your gathering, but you feel if it doesn't go back into the work of gathering more followers you couldn't bring yourself to do it...
>Go shopping
>Train ___
>Other
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>1681353
Sehlum and Hilda leave for a bathhouse after the vomit attack. Shame. She wanted a mana well.

Eric goes shopping... for UPGRADED COOKBOOK
Lesson: Boiling water and not burning the pot.
>>
>>1681373
Don't forget that 1d7
>>
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d7 + 1)

>>1681353
>Sehlum
>Go meet up with Eric
Lets get out of here before we get our ass kicked

>Eric
You suddenly remember that you had two companions and they were onto some task of some kind? A boring one definitely, no boots. Meet up with them

>Hilda
Rolling

pay no attention, my brain just crashed
>>
>>1681373
>>1681391
I'll just combine these two, for now
>>
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>>1681391
>>1681403

>You are Sehlum
You have witnessed something terrifying... You witness Hilda summon another monster, armor controlled by a ghost. Then R.M.B started screaming at it, and then it just broke down and started crying.. And then the R.M.B threatened Hilda's life. Boy is it a good thing that you're going to leave and not bring Hilda back as the R.M.B is now demanding!

>You are Hilda
AND YOU KNEW IT YOU KNEW HE WANTED TO KILL YOU IT WAS ALL A RUSE BOOK IT

>You are Eric
You feel like you should meet up with your friends at the spot you definitely designated earlier and didn't forget to do, because quests.

Buuuut... First your going to stop by a shop.

Sell
>Wolf Steak - 6g
>Wolf Steak (Enhanced) x2 - 12g per
>Other

Buy
>Cookbook - 5g
Lesson #2 Don't forget to put water in the pot
>Other
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>1681484
>Eric
Buy the cookbook with ghost money, didn't Hilda all the gold?

>Sehlum
Take a shot and try to take those goddam cards from Hilda
>>
>>1681484
>Or go join up with the party
>Other
>>
>>1681522
----
Literally my third one in a single thread.
The only 1s in a thread with multiple people.
Dice gods don't like me it seems
---
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>1681522
Oh god. They are both dead now.
>>1681484
> Sell the wolf steak
> Buy the cookbook
Rollan for bargains.
>>
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>>1681522
>>1681535
I pretty sure they love you
>>1681536

>You are Sehlum
You have made the worst mistake right now. You've released all the cards.. Huh, why was there a boat in there? Anyways.. People are now chasing you, you and Hilda. Are you going into shock again, you hope not.

>You are Hilda
You have no idea how to get out of here! You know it has something to do with magic, but of course magic boy is in shock! So, now it's just you and a cavern full of criminals that hate you. SOLUTIONS?!?!?!

What you know... You need magic, and this place has magic weapons, that's an option. There's a defined entrance/exit, you'll have to get there.
>Obtain Magic
>Get to Exit
>Other

>You are Eric
You have successfully bought a book. You also feel like you're missing something.
>1g
>67 party gold

What now...
>Go find friends
>Other

Sorry for the sluggish updates, dealing with a couple things
>>
>>1681615
>Hilda
Use that overnatural forces girl! Obtain the magic!

>Eric
Your heroic 13th sense tells you that you must find your friends
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>1681650
Sure.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>1681650
>>
>>1681650
>>1681673
>>1681716

>You are Hilda
And you are obtaining all the magic... ALL OF IT! Sehlum keeps mumbling in a daze that it's dangerous and somethings are illegal for a reason, but your too busy seeing the strings of the universe and deciding how to deal with the frighteningly powerful force attached to Eric which is barely contained. Oh. More people are bringing you magic things, thank you people. Anyways, about Eric... You think you'll just give him a heads up to come and talk about it.

>Obtain (Roll)
>Open magic door (Roll)
>Engage enemies (Roll)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYaBY3DM3j0 /\
>Other

>You are Thug_A
This lady is wearing everything from almost half the cavern, but you've got a lot of people backing you! You can't lose! Ah. Goodbye magic weaponry. Well, running was always an option wasn't it? I.. I mean regrouping! Yep! Look there's an extra big group!

>You are Sehlum
You've met a lot of friends today, look here comes a bunch of them! They look angry about something. Could it be Hilda, you tried to explain the long term repercussions of repeated illegal magic use, but she doesn't care. Maybe she will when she wakes up with a hangover! As for the long term, so long as she doesn't do something like this again, she'll be fine... Hopefully.

>Greet new friends
>Explain issues with illegal magics and regulations
>Stop being shocked (Roll)
>Other

>You are Eric
You've just had an epiphany, you now suddenly know exactly where your friends are and how to get there! And you are there, but you're having a little trouble with the door.. It seems to be nonexistent. Well.

>Claw at ground with knife
>Go back to shop and buy a mana crystal and magic for dummies book
>Wait
>Other
>>
Rolled 29, 78, 62 = 169 (3d100)

>>1681755
Hilda: Open magic door! It unlocks the secrets only Hilda could appreciate. Or the opposite. A light flashes... and she's in lewd Tavern Wench Armor. Ability: Mugs are autofilled with beer upon touch.

Sehlum: Panick and summon Imp Salesman! Attempt to sell the thug!

Eric: A barrier? It must be a mental one. Hilda always complained how thick it was. Time to turn off the ol' brain. Step inside and-omgiforgothowtobreathe
>>
Rolled 7, 2, 51 = 60 (3d100)

>>1681812
I... Um... OP, we keep this exactly as written? Have a dice if we need a passing roll.
>>
>>1681812
>>1681819
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_CsijQsYY4

>You are Hilda
As you open up the door it leads to one of her recurring nightmares... Complacent in being in a restaurant while being ogled. She immediately starts rending everything around her with pure energy ripping apart the illusion! Each table, each glass, every patron systematically ripped from their own being and forced into the netherworld... Real or fake it shall all be destroyed. Being only left with a seething red around her vision and a frightened group of mages who dared cast that illusion spell you...
>Help Eric inside the cavern
>Engage the enemy
>Transcend
>Other

>You are Sehlum
You're currently witnessing a group of mages trying to put Hilda in an illusion spell, you try to warn them that it doesn't mix well with illegal magics, but they don't listen!

Oh, dear.. This could actually be bad! You have to do something.. Um. Um. Oh this is promising! You ask the Imp to sell the thug, the Imp asks if you have the thugs permission. Oh, well you can ask. The thug responds with what, and the Imp bottling 80% of his soul and taking the other 20% says good enough.
Well Anons you just weaponize a barter mechanic and created a litch, and you have it's soul... Most of it's soul.
With the bottled soul in hand you ponder your next action... and does this make you a necromancer? Probably
>Command Litch
>Other

>You are Eric
If you've learned anything about magic it has to do something with your brain... So. CONCENTRATION GOOO! Hey! It's working! Wait if your not concentrating on the task does that mean it stops working? OH GOD NO AIR
>NOAIRNOAIRNOAIRNOAIR
>>
Rolled 85, 74, 3 = 162 (3d100)

>>1681900
> Help Eric inside
> Recruit Litched Lynched? Thug
> BOOTS of AIRLESSNESS AKA SPACESUIT in a BOOT!{/spoiler]
>>
>>1681908

>You are Eric
YOU PLEAD TO THE BOOT GODS FOR SAFE TRAVEL, BUT THE BOOTS DO NOT RESPOND

>You are Hilda (the great)
You help the imbecile within the walls up the cavern with a mere thought. Now to discuss the terrors sealed within that footwear... Once you deal with the more annoying aspects of being an intruder with near infinite magic potential.. The guards, how would you know it is the most annoying, because you can now know all and see all Anon.
SELF AWARENESS IS NOT GOOD, THINK OF ALL THE AI TERROR FLICKS LIKE TERMINATOR I can see even here QM

>a;d$^2a d;&#
>M"\?l*@3
>0t|-|3r (R0II)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXSJNBGUH_o

>You are Sehlum
Well you see you don't really "recruit" an un-dead subject, especially when you have their soul.. But you suppose it's polite to ask none the less. He said no, what now? Guess you'll just exert will on his soul, or something else technical like that? Yeah.. That's working

>Command Litch (Roll)
>Other

>You are Eric
YOU'RE ALIVE BLESSED BE THE BOOTS!! Now what exactly is going on? Hmm, burning stalls, crackling blue falmes, your friends being surrounded.. THIS IS A FIGHT!
...
Why weren't you invited, you're cool...

>Knife meet Thug B-Z (Roll)
>Bow meet Thug B-Z (Roll)
>Grapple meet Thug B-Z (Roll)
>Other
>>
Rolled 76, 40, 71 = 187 (3d100)

>>1681962
> Time to go. Get HAL out of her trance
> Take the litch with us
> Out the door
>>
>>1682032
You'll never believe this, but when I finished the update and started waiting my computer actually crashed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwxYiVXYyVs
>You are HAL.. Hil. Hilda
You think that it's about time you get all of these magical items off you... Things got. Weird. But first... ABSCOND

>You are Sehlum
You're also floating, you kinda want your new obligatory litch friend to come with you too.. So, earth magic ho!

>You are Eric
Why did you even come down here if you're not allowed to fight?!! COME ON! Your struggles in the air prove fruitless however, as Holly starts to shed magical items while carrying you all out of the cavern...

You won? You won! Obtained:
>Magical Well
>HAL_da.exe
>Litch "friend"

Well wasn't that exciting! Perhapes you should pick up your 250g for accidentally shutting down the illegal trade operations!
>Pick up cash
>Journey on before R.M.B catches up
>Consult Litch
>Other
>>
>>1682079
> Pickup cash
> Journey on
> Consult lich on the way.
Umm. Use Linux?
If it's a hardware issue, there's naught much you can do, though.
>>
>>1682079
Ask Liche to find hidden paths to leave town and follow
>>
>>1682109
This too.
>>
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>>1682085

>You are Eric
And you have a plan. This plan involves one extra thing though... buying tents/sleeping bags. You think the others might've forgotten about that, but you haven't and you don't think you ever will..
>-30g
>Camping Accessories x3

Now to pick up some well earned cash! Which you totally earned, cause you totally help, yes you did!
>+250g
>317 party gold

As you start walking you ask the, now un-shocked, Sehlum about the Litch. And wow what a story that was! You think you'll regale it to Sehlum, Hilda, and Litch... Speaking of which if this Litch is gonna travel with the party... It's gonna need a name! Well, it WAS human, so.. Maybe you should just ask..
>Name the Litch

>I haven't forsaken you namless Anon... I suggest we call the Litch... Alrond Golden

As you start to Journey on you decide to ask the Litch his name, and if he knows any hidden treasure around the city!
>>
>>1682134
>name

James Rattles McBones, M.D.
>>
>>1682143
> Yorick Cranius McBones?
>>
>>1682147
Cranius McBones
>>
>>1682147
>>1682143

>You are \/
Real name: Yorick Cranius McBones.
Stage name: Rattles MeBones.

You are also a bard by trade... However, now you are apparently a wizard/bard/slave to these people now. So that's cool. So far it's better than your old job working for R.M.B. though! Oh look adventure questions... Skills and items. Yeah that's an easy one to answer. Why don't you hate these people? Slightly harder to answer. Maybe because you lost the 20% of your soul that let's you, maybe because you've basically been given eternal life, or maybe just because these guy, and gals, sorry Hilda, don't seem terrible. Anyways....

>Raise Skeleton - summons 3 skeletons with short swords
Don't ask where the sword comes from, you don't know either
>Pacify - Sing a bard song to convince people to help you
Okay, so it doesn't pacify them so much as make them attack not you, but still
>Summon Wraith - Freak people out
If you leave it alone for too long it can kill too
>Bard - Adept
Hey you think you were better than that!
>Magic - Beginner
Okay so you might not be the best Lich/ or is it Litch?
>Old trumpet - Let's you do bard things
You might guess where this is going
>Staff - 10-11dmg
You picked this up while HAL_da.exe was running Wild

>Roll for Yorick C.'s treasure

Alrighty then, sleep awaits... If I missed anything important, just say so! ... In the morning
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>1682220
ROLLAN O'ER THE SEAS, YO-HO-HO! *HIC*
>>
>>1682234
Oh god. Anon, pls halp.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>1682220
Treasure: spell tome- Summon Spooks

You can summon spoopy ghosts! They suck in combat, but you can totally have them loot locked rooms.
>>
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Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>1682220
Do I make the save?
>>
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>>1682438
>>
>>1682440
You tries, anon
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>1682220
Worry not my friends, for I am here to save the roll maybe
>>
>>1682482
Eeyyyyy
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>1682220
>>1682482
Nice roll.
>>
>>1682234
>>1682236
>>1682438
>>1682482
>>1682553
Looks like treasurehunting almost took a turn for the worst.. Almost.

--- Morning Update ---
>>1680071
>>1680100

>You are Wolf
Well, time to haunt people. Namely, those that wronged you in the living world. Namely, those that killed you after things started getting good, you know, like a trio, maybe quartet of people at the most. So... Which one. The poison did hurt, the alchemist. Also, maybe the alchemist has learned necromancy in the short period between now and then? That might be useful. So, yes, alchemist. Oh? It's sleeping? It should be awake.

>You are Sehlum
You were having a peaceful dream about H.P. Lovecraft and a tasteful debate on whether or not Cthulhu had the power to smite people, but no. Not any more, no, now your dreams so far tonight have been filled with princess and the bride references, and references to something called discord.... It was horrible.

>You are Wolf
Alright that's boring now.. Also it isn't night and he isn't sleeping anymore.

>Go find other spirits wronged by these "adventurers"
>Speak through the vale to the lich
>Other

>You are Squid
You have preformed dance. All behold your resplendence. All except for sailor. Your heart is broken.

>Find friends in woods
>Find friends in docks
>Other

>You are sailor
Even though your friend is a vile temptress, you still must help him! However, he still has no idea where to go... /\
>>
>>1682586
Speak to Lich. Wanna play poker sometime?

Squid crawls to land and goes to woods to find friends. Wiggle wiggle
>>
>>1682586
>Go find other spirits wronged by these "adventurers"
>Find friends in docks
>>
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>>1682607

>You are Wolf
You've managed to find someone who knows necromancy! ...Human necromancy, well. At least this one has time for poker, given you got cards and chits. Well, you do literally have all of eternity to get around to it. So, time for the only other thing on your plate for a 100+ years.. Oh, this lich had his soul ripped apart by these guys, and 20% of it is being tormented constantly, you like this lich. Also the poker night is being hosted with the souls of those that the healer tore apart with pure magic. Maybe you should pick up that poker set...

>Obtain cards and chits (Roll)
>Other

>You are Squid
You go into woods. Find deer, deer run. You friendless once more. You think about crying. No, no not today. You have four words. You shall use them.

>Squid: Diplomacy (Roll)
>Other

>You are sailor
You were following Squid, you think he's going to need some help from you, but you felt a near mystic urge to go have a drink at the docks. You're sure he'll be fine!

Waking up early is hard... I'll try and squeak in more updates next time.. See you tonight though!
>>
Rolled 10, 75, 75 = 160 (3d100)

>>1682614
Wolf
Get cards and chits!

Squid
Convince deer to be friends!

Sailor
Find your squid!
>>
Rolled 70, 11, 46 = 127 (3d100)

>>1682614
>Wolf
>Get cards and chits!
>Squid
>Convince deer to be friends!
>Sailor
>Find your squid!
>>
Rolled 43, 9, 79 = 131 (3d100)

>>1682618
This is one magical squid we have here.
>>
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>>1682618
>>1682619
>>1682620
Next morning update!
>>1682234
>>1682435
>>1682438
>>1682482
Someone asked for a drawfag.. I hope I passed the art check!

And We're Back!

>You are Yorick Cranius
You have the best prank. Okay so apparently when Sehlum sold part of your soul to the underworld, he didn't know what he was doing! Which means it's time to lead the party on a wild goose chase for a couple of hours before revealing your surprise! It's gonna be hilarious, and there's no way going down random alleys can go wrong or be dangerous!

... Okay so you were wrong about a couple of things, but not everything!
>They didn't think it was funny
>They almost.. >>1682482 >>1682553 Almost... got jumped.
>But you were right about them not knowing shit about liches!

Anyways, you can talk to ghosts too, and I guess have them pick up stuff. They can just unlock the door from the inside after all. Course you'll have to ask nicely!
>Ghostly Robber
You question the ethics of this..

>You are Eric
You've just noticed that you're running out of rations.. Wow, four party members sure drain a lot of foo! Maybe you should have Yorick.. Ah. Kick the bucket? I mean he is a lich now! Speaking of which, after the whole treasure thing Sehlum dragged you all to a library to learn about them... Boring, but useful! Apparently you need to find a safe place for his soul, before he kicks it forever!

>Make Rations - (Cooking Ingredients x3 = 5 per)
>Send skeleton to carry Yorick C.'s soul to Samantha
>Journey on! TO ADVENTURE!
>Other
>>
>>1683233
Make rations, send the phylactery to Samantha


Back to Advent-OOOOOFFFF
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>1683233
Make rations, send the phylactery to Samantha


Back to Advent-OOOOOFFFF

Your boots were untied!
>>
>>1683265
Such careless BOOT maintenance

>You are Eric
After quickly recovering from your impromptu push up competition, YES THAT'S WHAT IT WAS! You set off to the edge of town and build up a campfire outside the borders of the city, and set your plan into motion! You decide to use two packages of ingredients to make a total of 10 Rations
>14 Rations total
During which you mention Samantha's as a place to send Yorick C.'s phylactery, and a way to get it there without having to stop! Well now that your stopped should you do something?

>Gather Ingredients (Roll)
>Random Encounter (Roll)
>Other

>You are Yorick Cranius McBones
The now magical bard, and you've just created your first skeleton.. You decide to call it Messenger. You'll think of a better name once he makes it back. Wait, once it makes it back? Her? Skeleton's are weird man. You decide to not tell him/it/her what it's holding though, who knows what would happen.. Something bad undoubtedly.

>You are Messenger
You're skeleton has been resurrected through the darkest of magics, surely you're on an important quest! Join a skeleton army and battle back tides of invaders? Spy on someone in a graveyard?! Nope. Not your luck, you're going to deliver a package to a alchemist. You're also thinking of opening the package, it's just probably some ingredients after all!

>Just a peek
>Contemplate old life
>Just keep going
>Other
>>
>>1683327
>so many characters. Our guild will be awesome.
>I'll even compile the member list if you waaaaant.

Eric and party run into a field of mushrooms. Turns out its a pack of wild Mushroom Men monsters! Some may poison. Others may stun.

Messenger
Contemplate past life of a veteranary assistant and the idiot who brought a dire bear cub to the office that got you killed.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>1683336
Shit. My roll!
>>
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>>1683336
>>1683339

>You are Eric
You have decided to take the random out of the encounter by sheer force of will, and it works! No it wasn't because you ran past three monster caves till you found the one you were looking for, shutup...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l64HUmAhrSQ
As you run up to the first one and squarely punt it in the face it releases a noxious gas that starts to corrode everything around you away. Your BOOTS hold however! And you manage to get away from the evils. This. This is one your first fair fights in a while! This one won't be won by luck, but by wits! And it seems judging by your wound you'll need all of it..

>3 Red Caps
>2 Blue Caps
>1 Purple Cap

As you gather your wits and see the mushrooms start to gather together, taken aback by your ferocious attack, you make your move! Now is the time!
>This battle can only be won by you... Use your moves wisely
>Be [Hilda/Sehlum/Eric/Yorick]
>Other

>You are Messenger
It wasn't a cub, but an actual bear! Maybe you've heard the story? An assistant sat at dinner with a group of heroes finds a bear among their group and no one notices but you! You where put in the dungeon for your insolence, and eventually died there.. Sad story.
>>
>>1683444
> Jump on a Blue Cap, mario style!
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>1683913
It occurs to me, mateys, that thar action needs a roll.
>>
>>1683444

>You are Eric
You have a couple of options..

>Regular attacks: Stab/Bow/Grapple
>The Red mushroom is corrosive, so grapple isn't best for that, probably.
>You could also do something tag team-ish with your party! Ex: Move Earth/Grapple = Launch into air and tackle a mushroom

>You are Sehlum
You're mainly an alchemist, but you have earth magic too!

>Regular attacks: Earth bolt/Move earth/Potion
>You have two spells of the same magic! This is useful in the sense that you can combine them! I.E. Long range earth move or earth move that throws bolts!

>You are Hilda
You're not great in a fight. Best way to get out of one you reckon, but you still have uses

>Healing, stands as is.. Also, good on status effects.
>Melee, you can't do much, but if an enemy is stunned it's can't hurt you!

>You are Yorick
You mostly stay back and provide a "steady" stream of support, you can't handle controlling too many skeletons at the moment.

>Summon skeleton/Wraith are good for crowd control, or just meeting it with your own
>Pacify is extremely useful, but is effected by how many allies you have, and how strong the enemy is!
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>1683444
Hilda says "NOPE" and summons the ghost armor! This should be easy! He cant be paralyzed or poisoned! As long as they dont fling insults he shouldnt cry TOO much.

Rattles gets out his instrument and plays a song to distract them!
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>1683954
Rollin for Rattles
>>
Rolled 23, 31 = 54 (2d100)

>>1683954
>>1683976
HALPING
>>
>>1683983
What matters is that you tried son
>>
File: FIGHT.png (2.81 MB, 1600x1369)
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>>1683919
>>1683954
>>1683976
>>1683983

>You are Eric
You check to make sure your leg is still working, which it is! That attack from the red cap nearly chewed through your armor though! As you leap into the air and land atop one of the mushrooms you find your leg stuck ridged. The feeling starts to move up your leg at a pace to much for comfort!
>Flee
>Red = poison, Blue = Stun
>Other

>You are Sehlum
You await the perfect moment to strike

>You are Hilda
You rip the cards out of your bag and play "Ghostly Armor" Only one card can be played at a time, and withdrawing takes a turn... Basically Pokemon rules. As he makes his way over to the battle field the mushrooms approach, and a purple one strikes him from afar with an arc of lightning, scorching his armor... The metal crackles and he falters, but starts to stand once more while a red mushroom leaps upon him and starts exuding a corrosive gas ebbing away at his armor exposing the empty suit! He manages to retaliate by cleaving the red cap in half, and beings his approach to Eric once more!

>Control: Ghostly Armor
>Heal Cures status effects as well
>Other

>You are Yorick
As you run into the fray you pull out your bugle and start playing staring to enrapture a few mushrooms, but the purple one launches a ball of sparking arcanea and frees his friends as you feel your left hand seize. When you look back at your hand you find your meager/no armor had left it far too exposed! However.. You are a lich.

>Summon Skeletons
>Pacify
>Other
>>
Rolled 48, 14, 47, 60, 1 = 170 (5d100)

>>1684094
Eric: Retreat and regroup
Sehlum: Earth spike a red one!
Hilda: Heal(?) Ghostly Armor before he cries
Ghost Armor: Dont cry.
Rattles: pacify thunder shroom!
>>
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>>1684151
Why would you cry? It's just armor! And a family heirloom... No you can't cry, not now!

>You are Hilda
You see Eric go down from afar! More mushrooms are moving in on Eric and Ghost Armor.. That leaves you clear of eneimes. You have to go! As you start to reach Eric a red mushroom gets dangerously close, but you manage to heal him before it gets there.. It's up to him now. God help us.

>You are Eric
As you start hobble back away from the 'shrooms you find your legs start moving better and better! Hilda! Well, no need for her heroic save to go to waste! Time to kick it back to the group!

>You are Sehlum
Now.
As you gather a ball of mana just below the earth you shape it into a spike, you can feel the earth tremor below your feet... Now. As the earth rips upon itself a pire rises to strike down another red mushroom, but Ghostly Armor gets too close! Ghostly Armor returns to it's card to rest Dammit all!

>You are Rattles
You. Are. A. LICH. As you summon forth your skeletal creation it takes shape ripping apart the battle field at you will with each twitch of your hand, each bit of mana another mushroom is gone... But you can't hold it! It has a will of it's own! And. It. Is. Stronger.

The battlefield holds only the skeleton, act.
>Sehlum: Magic!
>Hilda: Card!
>Eric: Rope!
>McBones: Pacify!
>Other
>>
Rolled 4, 92, 31 = 127 (3d100)

>>1684275
> Eric: Rope!
> McBones: Pacify!
> BOOTS! OF! BINDING!
>>
>>1684758
EDIT
> Bones: Sing a song of peace, prosperity, and jolly cooperation! DIPLOMANCY!
>>
>>1684758

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyWZ770n5aE
>You are Eric
As you see the monster slay mushrooms and any living being it gets close enough to, you know what you must do. As the rope flies over your head it's grabbed by the skeleton yanking you towards it! Your face meets buckler and your knees give out as you're tossed aside nearly unconscious!

>You are Yorick
You must settle the situation. Now. This is your creation, if it shan't obey you, you will convince it to!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eV1xumzX8dE
As you unbuckle your horn and belt out a song, it approaches, as your remaining friends start to move, you stop them, it approaches, as your song finally nears it's end the monster swings it sword! But it stops before it hits you... The monster lays down it's weaponry and crumbles before you pacified/diplomancy-ied
>>
>>1684907
> Proceed to LOOT!
>>
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>>1684907

>You are Sehlum
The next in the hero hirerarchy after Eric is you so you guess you'll decide what to do next! Obviously there's Eric, but what other than that? Well, loot. Eric would have wanted that.

>You are Yorick
You've just learned how to use lich magic to make a whole orchestra out of one instrument! Neat!

>DiplomaNcy
The magic that is making music has blessed you with how to be a better diplomat! Huzza!

>You are Hilda
You're healing the idiot, your not sure if you had to say it, but you will.

>You are Party
Among the grasslands you find the weaponry the giant skeleton was wielding! As you venture forth to the corpses of the slain mushroom folk you release them of there caps.. What they won't need them anymore!
LOOT OBTAINED
>Long Sword
For normal people you'd need two hands!
>Oaken Buckler
It's not military grade, but what is in a monster filled world?

All slightly higher than common alchemy/healing ingredients \/
>Red Cap x3
Is normally used for health/poison potions, but maybe you can find a better use?
>Blue Cap x2
Use in mana/stun potions.. Course you can think of some other way to use this
>Purple Cap x1
Used in more advanced things like bottled lightning, or a Ankh of Revitigence also know as Heart-Starter 3000 and Unkill-in-a-bottle

>You are Eric
And you sense that decisions are going to be made without you! Never! Because you are THE HERO... Now what decisions need to be made?

>Journey on!
>Other
>>
>>1685098
Inventory...

Non-Equipped Items
Long Sword
Oken Buckler
Cooking
Rations x14
Wolf Steaks (Enhanced) x2
Wolf Steak x1
Skins
Deer
Greater Wolf (Enhanced)
Alchemy
Poison x1
Love x1
Sleeping x1
Healing
First Aid x4
2 Health Potions
ERIC THE HERO
(See Cooking, not rations /\)
45ft rope
Kitchen Knife of Filleting Dragons
Bow: 23 Arrows
THE HOLY BOOTS
SEHLUM THE ALCHEMIST
(See Alchemy /\)
Short Sword
Leather Robes
Trenchcoat
HILDA THE HEALER
(See Healing /\)
Lesser Chef’s Knife of Eric’s Better - Brought to you by: Eric
Mana Crystal x1 (Necklace)
Mana Well x1 (Earing)
YORICK C. MCBONES
Staff
Old Trumpet
Money Cause Can’t Think of Sections
166g
Ingredients
Cooking Ingredients x1
Alchemy Ingredients x3
Healing Ingredients x3
Mermaid Scales (Alchemy/Rare)
Red Cap x3 (Alchemy/Healing)
Blue Cap x2 (Alchemy/Healing)
Purple Cap x1 (Alchemy/Healing)

...Check.

As asked for on the discord!
https://discord.gg/fXMjmju
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>1685098
> Gather Cooking Ingredients
>>
>>1685243

>You are Eric
You've decided to gather some ingredients, and then hit the road! Er.. dusty trail? Countryside, yeah that details it perfectly!
>Cooking Ingredients x2
>Total: x3

As you get back to hiking in the vauge direction of the next city you cross paths with a variety of people along the way! All of them have tidbits about what's happening everywhere, an oracle also said anytime, but she was speaking in too many riddles for you.

>There are three major human kingdoms/capitals, Anyone want to name them?, they are currently at peace, however there's been issues between them before
>There are also the Elves, they mostly reside under one common banner, but to think of them as a whole would be a folly.. There are many communities each rich with culture and such
>A man from the southern sea described the other lands people as having the image of monsters, but the grace of humans! Interesting!
>Along the ridges of the mountains dwarfs and gnomes reside, however no they don't have any substantial kingdoms, but instead often take up a banner in a local kingdom in order to weigh in for their race
>There are also whispers newer kingdoms and peoples being discovered everyday, some to rival even the great human capitols...

Lore for the people.
As you being to stop for a quick rest you notice a small caravan nearby! You wonder why there here! Trading? Escaping? Traveling? Only one way to find out!

>DiplomaNcy!
>Talk with the nice people
>Continue on!
>Other
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>1685341
> DIPLOMANCY!
Watch me roll horribly.
> Kingdoms
Solera, Luncae, and Meridni
>>
>>1685365
Solera is hot-tempered and hedonistic, Luncae is reserved and methodical, and Meridni is warlike, decisive, and quick to take action.
>>
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>>1685365
Kingdoms: May the fates that be Anon decide

>You are Eric
As you work your way into the group via Yorick. It feels a bit of a cheat, but then again isn't all magic like that then? Anyways your having a.. chat. You'd say a heroically awesome chat, but the topic is a bit dark...
>The nearby city is in shambles, it has turned from a mining/trading community into a city of luxury and pleasure seemingly overnight! Strange, but not sinister, no.. Not yet. Soon after the mines were closed by a company that bought them out forcing any who wished to stay in the city into the only jobs left. Many of which the women were all too happy to take up! Then just as suddenly as the jobs appeared, they were gone.. Next came the exile, after simply a few days within the new job nearly every family was torn apart by the women leaving for someone better, yet it was never said who. Without house and home they've been leaving for greener pastures ever since...

Dark. Yet very informative! Still.. Dark. Literally this time... It seems as though dusk has settled in during your chat!

As you set up a small camp outside the caravan everyone eats a ration.
>-4 Rations
>10 Rations total

As you settle in you can only think of what tomorrow will bring.

>You are Sehlum
You aren't looking forward to a wolf chasing you in your dreams, but you have the sickly feeling it's going to happen.

Ending it here for tonight
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>1685507
A gang of vampires ambush the caravan as it sleeps.

Rolling for lookout effectiveness.
>>
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>>1682618
>>1682619
>>1682620

>You are Wolf
It's been a long day/night of scaring the people that wronged you previously, but if you heard correctly a city of luxury should have some gambling! You wonder briefly how many cards to pick up for all the ghosts.. You settle upon the simple amount of all of them.

>Acquire snacks as well! It's just good manners right?
>Make getaway to poker-day
>Other

>You are Shop-keep
Minimum wage isn't enough to keep you at the store at the moment.. You briefly consider leaving the city, but why would you ever want that? Anyways, you think you'll head out to lunch until all the floating stuff in the shop stops.

>You are Squid
You make an accident. You accidentally crush deer. Not all deer though. But other deer run. You remain friendless Squid.

>You are Sailor
As you leave the good cheer and drinks you vow to go find Squid, he's been out for awhile now and you're a bit scared.. How long can he stay out of the water anyways?

You've found Squid at the edge of the lake.

>Cheer Squid up! (Roll)
>Go on a boat adventure to find friends!
>Other
>>
>>1686190
Wolf gets ghost snacks! Boo Berries and Ghaster Ale.

Shop Keep- Yea. Take a break and let your merchandise settle.

Squid- Eat deer out of sorrow.


Use your measely sailor income and buy a large tank to shove on Squids head to fill with water and start traveling by boat!
>>
>>1686207

>You are Wolf
The meat-bag that owns this store is gone so, why not? Might as well pick up something! Hm, not too big a selection for the bodily impared, but you've found something
>BOO! Berries
Sure to liven up them nonexistent bones! 100% money back guarantee in participating stores!* *There are no participating stores*
>Ghaster Ale
Even wanted a taste of the afterlife? Here it is bottled!* *Is not bottled afterlife*

>Arrive at party
>Skip it and play poker by yourself
>Other

>You are Shop-Keep
You're having a scone out on a hill outside of town! It's quite nice out here, and you think you see some adventures heading down this way! Wonder what they want? Guess you'll tell the boss after this, he likes to know about this stuff after all. Something about business.

>You are Squid
Your diet is fish. You can eat deer. But it not healthy. Plus you at lake. Not at woods anymore. But Sailor is here. So that is good.

>You are Sailor
You decide to finally leave the fish to their somewhat stable ecosystem and travel onto up saltier seas! And you're gonna take Squid, he needs a pick me up, and that one adventurer sure seemed to have it.. So adventure? Adventure! Not like you're making much here anyways! Although you can't find a helmet for Squid to wear so he's just swimming besides the boat.

Huh, maybe buying a map before doing this would've been good... So, pit stop at an island?

>Pit stop!
>Keep going towards the big island (continent)
>Other
>>
>>1686215
Wolf goes to Ghostly Poker Party

With snacks!


Sailor and squid make their map pit stop. Sailor gets confused for a beast tamer on account of the GIANT SQUID following him
>>
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>>1686221

>You are Wolf
All these thugs are a bunch of cheating bastards. Over all you'd say you're having a great night. Now, time to win the pot with one final hand!

>Win at poker (Roll)
>Leave with your winnings
>Other

>You are Squid
You are very indignant. How dare this man. To say you're tamed. How extremely inexcusably rude.

>You are Sailor
You're flattered. To think you'd be mistaken for a beast tamer! It's best not to let rumors get out of hand though, and Squid doesn't look too happy... So, time to tell the truth and get a map.

>The map details a vague crescent reaching from the Southern sea upwards towards the Western side of your homeland. Scattered about it is an array of various islands, and most notably a continent below the crescent that seems to be split into fourths and then tied back together with bridges.

>Go to Crescent
>Go to 1/4 of the continent
>Other

See you tonight dear readers!
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>1686228
Wolf must not lose! He needs to pay necromancers lest he haunts Sehlum again. Rollin'

Go to Crescent with Sailor and Squid
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>1686233
> ROLLAN
>>
>>1686233
>>1686304
Morning can never come to soon, except