You are the Double King. You want crowns.You currently have two crowns, one because you're a king and another from pulling this rat king's skull out and stealing his crown. But two crowns are not enough to sate your hunger for more crowns. You want ALL of them.The other kingdoms are aware of your lust for crowns, and have armed forces against you. Fortunately, as a king, you also have cool army shit.>You have your caslte>A mobile fortress the size of a fucking mountain>The Ovum Regalia, a flying egg you ride in which fires tracking misslesYou also have a few personal weapons>Two giant golden knives, which are about the size of you>This really sharp dining knife>A sceptre you stole from a fish king>A musketIt doesn't matter how many kings and queens are against you, YOU WILL GET ALL THIER CROWNS.1. To the north is Queen Melila, Matriarch of the Hive. She is the queen of bees and her kingdom is one giant hive. The moment you attack she will send a swarm of bees your way. Her crown shines with amber embedded in it.2. To the east is King Osro the Grisly. Despite not having much of a kingdom, he is known to be quite the ferocious fighter and the mightiest bear around. He'll be a challenge even for you. His crown is gilded with silver.3. To the south is Count Franz, a vulture king who owns an army of a thousand vultures. He'll be extremely hard to catch even with your Ovum Regalia. His crown is an amalgamation of bones taking a crown-like shape, which is gilded in gold.4. To the west is Holy Gargantus the Eldest. A gigantic turtle whose age is unknown to everyone. He'll be extremely hard to take down even with your fortress. His crown is extremtly heavy as well. His crown is giant and you won't be able to wear it. It'll make a good crown for your castle, however.Roll a d4 or discuss between yourselves.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_MSFkZHNi4 <--- Video for context
Rolled 3 (1d4)Gotta get dat bear crown.To the Ovum Regia!
Bear crown best crown, probably large enough to sit in. Let's go for that.
I say bear.
>>1371212>>1371226>>1371238Not fearing the challenge of fighting Osro, you hope int oyour Ovum Regia and fly over to his kingdom. Nightfall arrives and you land a little ways away from his fortress.The entrance has four well-trained bear guards keeping guard of it. The walls will be not trouble for you to climb over, but you aren't really the best stealth-wise. What makes it worse is that Osro has a militia being trained inside his fortress. Once they see you, it will be no doubt they'll try to rip you to shreds. Your Ovum Regia only fires harmless tracking missles, so not much will come of that.So do you rush in and kill the guards, do you sneak in, or what?
>>1371240The guards guns are probably unloaded. Kill them.
>>1371240Punch them with your MIGHTY white hands
>>1371240The golden knives double as shields. Chop chop.
>>1371240Start up with a musket shot, then follow up by dropping on them from the sky and attacking with the two giant golden knives.
>>1371249>>1371248You run back to your Ovum Regia and fly up some so that you could the drop on the bear gaurds. With your knives ready, you jump out of the egg. Now all you have to do is land on them.Roll a d201-5: Major failure6-10: Minor Failure11-15: Minor Success16-20: Major Success
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>1371253REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>1371255By some stroke of luck you managed to get into just the right position where you were able to slay all four of them in one go. How fortunate! You loot thier corpses and find nothing but boring swords. It's no doubt that they heard all the commotion inside, so you hop over the fence and behind s building just as they start investigating outside the gate.You are now inside the fortress.There are ten bears inside, with twenty outside. You estimate you have about a minute or two before they come back in. What do you do?
>>1371260Pull a torch from the wall and set their furs on fire.
>>1371268You grab a torch and wait for a nearby bear to pass by. As he passes, you set the torch on his fur and he is set ablaze! God, you're a sadistic fuck. Unfortunately, you have alerted the nearby guards, and you are forced to climb a building to avoid the savage bear people. The castle-fortress which you assume Osro is living in is two buildings down. A window is ajar. Jumping over the alleys of the building, you crash through the open window, taking 5 HP in the process!>HP: 95/100You land in the hall of the bear king. Osro sits on his mighty pine throne, his crown sitting entisingly on his head. He looks up, furious that an intruder would dare sneak into his fort. He stands, and you can see that he is an immense beast, stand nearly 10 feet tall. He unsheathes his massive claws from his paws, and readies his stance. He's eager to fight you.>KING OSRO THE GRISLY>HP: 150/150The door to the hall is locked, but it looks like the bear guards are going to force it open soon.
>>1371388>>1371389don't think you can hide your failures from me
>>1371303Throw your knifes at him.
>>1371391Roll a d20
>>1371395I'm going to let more competents people be in charge of that
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>1371401
>>1371401That bird should be in a cartoon or a videogame
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1371395Not sure if I know how to roll dice correctly so here goes REEEEEEGIT DEM CROWNS
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>1371395Fuck you bears! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
>>1371484You throw your knives at the bear! They pierce his stomach and he buckles over in pain!>KING OSRO THE GRISLY>HP: 105/150What the fuck? What is he made of? Oh...Oh fuck. He just pulled the knives from his gut. Osro is know holding your knives.>The door buckles
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>1371746>we can kill a giant snake in one hit but not a bearThis is maximum bullshit.Get some distance and shoot your musket at him.How do I roll a d20 on this board
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>1371746MUSKETTO SHOT
>>1371761>I roll the first bad rollgreat>>1371766why didn't you go faster, you could've done better than me
>>1371761You underestimate the power of an angry ten foor bear. Have you ever seen a bear lose to a snake?You prime your musket and take aim. Taking aim, you fire your musket and you land the hit on his shoulder>KING OSRO THE GRISLY>HP: 95/150Osro raises his hand high above himself and readies himself to slice you to pieces. Roll to dodge, to fire, or other.
>>1371776Disarm him and get your knives back. Use the musket if it helpsI'll wait for someone else to try their idea, if no one does then I'll roll for mine.
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1371776Dodge between his legs and give him one of the kingliest kick to his bearsack as rolls behind him.
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>1371795No, this sounds good. Dodge the swipe and try to get dem knives.
>>1371827>20He better drop those knives
>>1371827>nat 20What the fuck is with this king's luck.As Osro prepares for a mighty slam, you roll between his lags, and with a windup you thrust your foot into his nads as hard as you can. You hear a definite squish.J.. Jesus Christ. You fucking sadist. Blood is running down his legs, YOU MADE HIM INFERTILE.WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. YOU JUST WANTED CROWNS, NOT FUCKING THIS.He drops your knives and curls over in pain. He's very prone to attack at this state.Why would you do this.
>>1371866"sorry i just wanted your crown"
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>1371866You think we know mercy? You think we know kindness?WE ARE DOUBLEKING.AND WE.WANT.CROWNS.Grab the knives and bring them both down on his neck.
>>1371866His line is broken. He no longer deserves his crown.Kick him while he's down, and take his crown from his still crying bear head. If he poses anymore resistance, plant a knife in he neck.
>>1371870Osro is in too much pain to repsond to you, but if he could talk it would probably go along the lines of "FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT. I HOPE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN GET SENT TO THE NINTH LAYER OF HELL YOU DEMON OF INFERTILITY">>1371878>>1371884You grab your knives and with a clean swipe, his head rolls around onto the floor.His crown is certainly worthy of a bear of his stature. A silver crown with designs of pine trees and bears fighting each other, with jewels of ruby studding the tips of it. It is much too large to fit on your head, so you place it one your back instead. A snug fit!>NEW TITLE ACHIEVED>YOU ARE NOW THE TRIPLE KINGThe door seems ready to burst. Now is a good time to ready an escape plan.
>>1371905someone draw the triple king
>>1371905We're somewhere in the higher levels of his castle, so I assume that climbing down will take too long and dropping down would be certain death; unless there's water for us to dive into.Isn't our skin essentially like a big mantle? I say we parachute our way out of this bear hole.
>>1371929i support this and the mantle is our over lip
>>1371929The hall of the king is actually on the bottom floor, but the castle itself is located in the middle of the town. There's a good chance that bears have surrounded the castle. You can always go out the way you came, but bears might also be there.
>>1371912Someone please draw the triple king so I can delete this piece of shit
>>1371948Oh. Well fuck, I'm out of ideas. What about you guys?
Skin the bear, wear his hide as a disguise.And someone make a better drawing
>>1371948Wait a minute, my idea could still work.If we manage to make it all the way to the top of the castle, we can still parachute away from the very top while avoiding the bears. At this point, anyone that tries to stop us from making it to the top, is dead meat.
>>1371963run or hide in the sewers
Are there any exits besides the main door? Windows? Chimney? Secret path behind the throne?
>>1371905By slaying and taking his crown we by king logic now own his domain and his subjects. Therefore we should be able to leave unbothered by the sight of his crown on us so we can go and claim more crowns.
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1371987Most creatures we encounter don't try to fuck with the Double King.Let us show these bears why
>>1371987Wait...yeah, you're right! This was a thing in the animation as well with all of the other kings that died.I say we calmly march ourselves out of the front door and see if those dumb bears try to stop us.
>>1371991>>1371828>>1371827Ok...all of these high rolls are making me REALLY nervous. Please, let us finish at least the first thread before we die.
>>1371991>>1371905wait do I have to reply to the DM in order to do an action?
>>1371987>>1371992These bears are rowdy and full of pride, there's no way in he->>1371991...One day you'll roll a one.The bears finally break in, but instead of thier king standing victorious over the corpse of the enemy, it is actually you who stands victorious. You stand on top of Osro, knives bloodied with your eyes fixed on the army. One by one, they drop thier weapons and grow a look of dismay on thier faces. Some drop to thier knees, most of them can't even stand to look at you. Thier once proud and mighty king is slain before them, balls crushed asunder. You make a gesture that indicates that they should move out of they way, and with depressing stares, they oblige. You walk out of the castle suprisingly unharmed. This is great!>Another day begins1. To the north is Queen Melila, Matriarch of the Hive. She is the queen of bees and her kingdom is one giant hive. The moment you attack she will send a swarm of bees your way. Her crown shines with amber embedded in it.2. To the east is King Heratio of the Apes. A chimpanzee who's remarkably intelligent, known as an inventor between kings. He's built mechs and fortress and all sorts of wonderful machienery. His crown in golden with tips resembling bananas.3. To the south is Count Franz, a vulture king who owns an army of a thousand vultures. He'll be extremely hard to catch even with your Ovum Regalia. His crown is an amalgamation of bones taking a crown-like shape, which is gilded in gold.4. To the west is Holy Gargantus the Eldest. A gigantic turtle whose age is unknown to everyone. He'll be extremely hard to take down even with your fortress. His crown is extremtly heavy as well. His crown is giant and you won't be able to wear it. It'll make a good crown for your castle, however.
>>1372047Let us attack the queen bee next. Her crown will be a nice addition to our collection.
>>1372047>Besides the crown, did we get any other loot or weapons from the bears? After a royal night's sleep and a kingly breakfast, I think it's time to nab us a vulture.TO THE OVUM REGALIA!
let not kill anyone we just need to ask for the crown
>>1372063I second bee, but I would like to ask about loot as well.>>1372076shut up timmy.captcha: pansy drive
>>1372100I mean, if we're going by Megaman/Shovel Knight rules this makes sense as I am assuming each kingdom we take may give us something to aid in our further conquests.
>>1372047My thoughts:>Attacking the bee is going to require our mobile fortress to protect from the bees>maybe the same thing with vulture meme>Attacking the ape first might be the best way to gain more power (he has machinery and stuff) to use against the others
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>1372100I'll make a roll for it, unless the DM is already working on it. each side of the D4 corresponds to how the DM listed it.
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>1371962Roll for someone to draw a better picture
>>1371962is that a grey dick on his back?
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>1372100I'll roll against this and stick with the vulture plan.
Rolled 15 (1d20)ffsroll for clairvoyance to choose the best option given our resources
>>1372214i support this
Rolled 4 (1d4)I say we get into our walking fortress and make some turtle soup.
>>1372214Fuck it, may as well. Also, QM mind answering our question regarding loot? These kills may end up getting repetitive if we spice things up with new killing arms.
Since no one can make up thier mind, let's strawpoll it.http://poal.me/nnsq5x(i know its poal but eh)>>1372243You now command Orso's mighty army of 100! After some talking, they now realize that you are the true strongest king, if Orso barely put up a fight with you! They fall under your every whim!
>>1372253Oh. cool. Well, I think we know the answer now. Bears directly counter bees, so I think there's only one choice now boys.
>>1372256Fine, but we're grabbing that mountain crown after. Double King goes for the big ones.
>>1372256I mean, yeah if they're like little tiny bees, but the bees Melila controls over are about the size of you.>>1372262Sure.
>>1372268Your warnings will not sway my resolve! TO THE HIVE! SHOW ME WHAT PASSES FOR FURY UPON YOUR MISBEGOTTEN RACE!!
>>1372285I like your resolve!You board your fortress (We should give it a name or something) and head on over to the hive with your army of bear people. You arrive and see the hive is a large as your fortress, with bees swarming all around it. Melila must be in there somewhere! How do you enter?
>>1372312We should have the fortress and the bears attack the Hive from the front. Meanwhile we should take a backdoor so we can squish the queen while her army is busy.
>>1372312It shall be now know as Golgar, the King's Bastion.As for the hive, I think it's time for a siege boys. Give Melila warning shot with our cannons and a declaration to relinquish her crown.If she refuses, storm the hive, utilize the chaos the bears create, and sneak into the throne room.
>>1372344With little hesitation, you thrust your fortress right into the hive, nearly collapsing the entire thing. You don't stop there, as the fortress pulls out a fist and begins punching the shit out of it. The bears pile out of the fortress and into the onslaught of bees waiting to destroy the intruders. You hop aboard the cannon and fire yourself right into the hive. You're coated with honey but at least you're inside. A great buzzing can be heard above you. In an explosion of honey, Melila bursts from the ceiling. You ready your knives but she speaks before you do anything violent.>"We are a peaceful race, and we do not wish any harm. Let us negotiate before we slaughter each other."
>>1372418GIVE ME THE CROWN
>>1372418...Point to her crown and make a "Gimme" motion.
>>1372418CROWN. NOW. >Ready knives if she tries anything funny.
>>1372466>>1372469>>1372477The queen seems... confused.>"Y-... You want my crown?"You shake your head furiously. She pauses for a moment.>"I know of a kingdom whose queen has a much greater crown than mine. Queen Afena, Matriarch of Ants has a crown gilded with gold, silver, and platinum, and embedded with brilliant diamonds. She and I have been warring for some time, so if you go and get rid of her for me, you can have her crown. I'll even offer you some of my children to help you."
>>1372501She doesn't get it does she?We want ALL crowns.Grab this bitch and chuck her neck-first into the floor.
>>1372501Shank the bitchWE WANT THE CROWN
>>1372501GIVE ME THE CROWN NOW no shank and you are going to help me take THE CROWN!!!!!
>>1372501WE WANT THEM ALLATTACK HER WITH THE KNIVES
>>1372515>>1372537>>1372547>>1372552You consider it, but the thought of leaving a crown almost makes you gag. You ready knives for throwing.Roll a d20. I swear to god if you roll another 20.
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>1372561
>>1372561GIVE ME THE CROWN without killing her
>>1372565MOTHERFU-You throw your knives into the queen's eyes. It is a direct hit! Her flying becomes confused and erratic as she attempts to get her bearings.Your knives are stuck onto her, but you have a better shot at getting her crown now that she's disorientated.
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>1372561Thank you for telling me where to find my next objective. Regardless, your crown is mine.
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>1372596JUMP UP AND SUPLEX THIS FOOL TO FINISH HER OFF
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>1372596Time for some good old fashion ninja techniques.Jump up to her, twist her head off like a bottle cap, and take the crown off of it.
>>1372602>>1372632The dice gods to not like you very much
>>1372608You grab onto her and attempt to initiate a suplex, but unfortunately, she's too erratic to properly suplex, so you just grab your shit and jump off. She flies off into the sky, probably never going to be seen again.You take a look at the crown. It is made of gold but shines as if it were made of honey. Designs of bees surround the crown with amber jewels embedded into it. If you look closely you can see bees inside of these jewels. You place the crown onto your double crown.>NEW TITLE ACHIEVED>YOU ARE NOW THE QUADRUPLE KINGYou see something black glimmering on the wall. It looks like a large thorn, but it must be Melila's stinger. She must've lodged it into one of the walls as she was trying to orient herself. You take it.>You acquired the Stinger of Melila!>Poison damage if you land a hit roll 15 and above.You board your fortress and call your men back.>There have been 4 casualtiesAs the bees weep over the loss of their queen, you leave the hive and walk towards back to your castle, think about going with your initial plan to attack Gargantus or to head over to Afena. But just as you were deciding on who to, you hear a rumbling in the distance. Looking over, you see a giant... monkey? Is that a giant mechanical monkey?>"DOUBLE KING"It shouts,>"THIS IS KING HERATIO OF THE APES. YOUR REIGN OF REGICIDE ENDS KNOW!"Oh shit.And that's it for today. I may or may not do a thread over the weekdays, but if I don't, I will definitely start one on Friday or Saturday.
>>1372707Jolly Good show QM. This was an enjoyably sadistic quest that fullfilled everything I wanted in a Double King premise.Do you have a twitter or something we can look over for updates on your quest? The tentative date of Friday or Saturday is fine, but we would like to get something more concrete.
>>1372765I don't have a twitter, and I'm not sure if I ever will since this quest might not last long without DK dying or getting boring. I've had this idea that if DK dies he'll Dante's Inferno through Hell and try to steal Satan's crown, but IDK if that'll happen. We'll see.A thread on Friday would be ideal, but there will definitely be one on Saturday regardless of whether or not the thread goes up on Friday. Maybe I'll do one over the week, but don't count on it.
>>1372707Fun stuff. I'll keep watch for new threads, Double King makes for a cool concept for quests.
>>1372891Well you see, if we die we just need to throw a big enough temper tantrum for death to give us his crown. The real challenge would be to get out and reclaim the crowns that were on our body when we died.
>>1372891Hmm, alrighty. You seem like an on-par quest giver, and I would like to seem more from you. Consider making a twitter in the future if you ever run more quests however, as it is something you can do to gather support.Anyways, I will look forward to next weekend as this was hella entertaining.
>Quest is over for the weekAw. Also OP if you're worried about getting bored with the concept rewatch Double King or Elephants Garden and consider the DEEPEST LORE involved.>Double king abandoned his subjects for crowns>His might be one of five or six world's tethered to weird Elephants and tended to by a monstrous gadener... whose hat may count as a crown>DoubleKing may someday need a DoubleQueen Just a few thoughts.
>>1371912>>1372707a friendly drawfag drops by to draw your kingkeep up the great work lads
>>1373503>>DoubleKing may someday need a DoubleQueen>double queen>implying the implication of giving someone else a crown, much less two crowns>implying doubleking needs any potential usurpers
>>1373580>>1373587Thanks, I love it!
>>1373503I'll keep these a doc in case the quest is dying. I appreciate it!>>1373580Oh my god that's amazing. Keep it up my man!>>1373587These were posted a minute apart holy shit. I like all the artwork this quest is getting.
>>1373598Is Felix aware of what a ridiculously memorable character he's created?
Everyone, draw a Double/Triple/Quadruple King!
>>1374475An attempt was made
>>1373580i love him
>all this quadruple king artThis is great. Keep it up guys.I realize that i should probably specify an exact time for the thread to go up. For Friday expect it to go up around 4 or 5, and for Saturday about noon, central time. Again, I might not post on Friday, so we'll see.
>>1375674>I realize that i should probably specify an exact time for the thread to go up. For Friday expect it to go up around 4 or 5, and for Saturday about noon, central time. Again, I might not post on Friday, so we'll see.it is entirely possible that this thread to still be up by Friday or Saturday, one of the other threads here on /qst/ I'm following hasn't had a post since Friday but is only down to page 7
>>1375791/qst/ is slow enough for that.>>1375674I'm secretly hoping that when we take on Holy Gargantus we can pull some Metal Gear Rising or Shadow of the Colossus tier shit like ride his flipper up to him and jump to his face for critical damage.
>>1375277>>1375067>>1374475>>1373587>>1373580lovelypls make more y'all
>>1375674You have a discord or a twitter OP?
>>1376460>TwitterNo, not yet at least. If this thread goes on or I make more quest threads then maybe>DiscordHaven't considered it, but I'll make one if you want
>>1376472I don't see why not for either.
>>1376473https://discord.gg/tQ5rSWell, fine, whatever. I'm still thinking about creating a Twitter but a Discord I can do.
>>1376488Set it to not expire
>>1376750https://discord.gg/bQZPbtVWell aren't i stupid
>Scrolling /quest/>See another king in a quest>Get the uncontrollable urge to post as DoubleKing attempting to take his crownIf there was a way to do this as a meta-quest across the board without being a huge dick, I would be so down.
>>1371193This Quest is pretty great and fun.I just would like to point out that he DOESNT CARE for subjects. If the bears are figthing for him, it would be because they choose so, not because Double King told.He would probably ne annoyed with the bears following him.
Is it friday yet?
>>1383971No it's Thursday
>>1383764I think its less he doesn't care and more he doesn't actually acknowledge they're his "subjects" or that he even has subjects. The point that DK did not make them follow him still stands though.
oh boy, it's almost friday!
>>1385278Sorry, the date's been pushed back about... fifty or so years. See you in 2067.
>>1384302>Double King roaming his keep>Passes war room>Bear generals are in there forming amazing strategy for taking more kingdoms with swift force>They look up at DK and bow in honor to their new ruler>DK produces a bow and flaming arrow>Shoots map table starting a fire>Locks the door to trap them inside>DK continues on having removed the unwanted guests from his home
>>1385289You're no king of time, OP. See you tomorrow.
>>1385255I am the drawfag that drew the shitty b&w DK, bless you for actually putting effort into your drawing anon. I love this.
>>1385289Fifty years have passed. but.I do not roll.The dice have lost their effect on me.Yet the wait continues.The DM's slowness chokes the past, present and future.The crowns are lost.Gotta get back.Back to the quest.Quadruple king.
We're back again with our favorite regicidal king, the Double King (or Quadruple King to be specific)!When we last left off, King Heratio of the Apes has decided that your king genocide has to end right now, so he's decided to bring his fortress sized monkey mecha to you and end you once and for all! Unfortunately for him, you are inside your giant walking fortress as well, which may or may not bring the edge to the fight.What do you do?
>>1386551Are there any openings or windows on the monkey fortress?
>>1386551Scan the enemy mech for any weak sections in it's frame so that we can cripple it, or points of entry so we can board
>>1386565>>1386569You can't really tell what weak points the mecha possesses, but you do see that the entire construct seems to be made out of wood, vines, and such. Perhaps the material is its weakness?
>>1386573Burn it. Burn it all.We lob a burning honeycomb at it.
>>1386573That means that the mech is likely fairly weaker than our structurally sound rolling fortress. Just attacking head on would not be a terrible idea.But just to be safe, do as >>1386582 said, we should try an incendiary element first, then attackDoes our mech have any incendiary weapons?
>>1386583I think DK's fortess has a cannon to launch himself but it would be smarter to either punch/Burn the mech monkey
>>1386592Use the cannon to fire some sort of burning material at it at long range then, >>1386573
>>1386592Start shooting burning balls of beeswax from the cannon at our foe, then. Lots and lots of burning beeswax.
>>1386582>>1386583The fortress doesn't seem to have any flamethrower or flame starting equipment, so instead you tell your army to start one in the forest below you. It will take three turns before you can start throwing flaming trees at the mecha.The mecha suddenly begins running! Before you have any time to defend yourself, the mecha jumps and dropkicks you! You take damage and you are pushed back. Fortunately, the giant hive was able to cushion your fall. The mecha stands back up relatively unharmed. What the hell?Heratio shouts:>PETRIFIED WOOD, DOUBLE KING! DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD ATTACK YOU WITH A WOODEN GIANT?Well then.
>>1386599Okay, so it's made of stone.Kick it's knees out.
>>1386603Your fortress doesn't have legs.
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>1386599Punch it in the face then
>>1386599>>1386604>Your fortress doesn't have legs.Punch its legs out!>>1386603>Kick it's knees out.After this we'll get some legs so we can become the bees' knees.
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>1386599What weapons or combat abilities do we possess?If we have any cannonballs/standard ammo for our cannon, let's use them. Shoot him in the fucking face.Then if we have time, uproot a tree and prepare to defend ourselves with it
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>1386604Alright, then I know what we must do.Pick up the hive and break it over the mech's head.
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>1386599>>1386604>>1386607Oh. We're supposed to be rolling? Alright then.
>>1386606The mecha is fortunately just in range for your fortress to punch it! You launch a fist and it hits it square in the face! It reels back and falls over. While dazed, you reorient yourself and you are back into a fighting position.>>1386609You currently have>A cannon, which can pretty much anything you-sized, and yes that includes you.>Two giant fists for punching and grabbing>>1386611You try to pick up a large chunk, but due to the ruthless pummeling it sustained, it's quite loose. You're only able to carry a fist sized chunk.You throw the chunk of the hive at the mecha. It doesn't really do anything.>>1386612>>1386607You punch at its legs! Unfortunately, it's out of range, so you punch the air instead.
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1386615Start lobbing more wax at it, try to gum up it's leg joints!
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1386615>>13866192nd.
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>1386615Are there any bears inside the fortress the are about our size. If so start loading and launching them at the mech
>>1386619You keep trying to throw chunks of destroyed beehive at it, but at this point you're grasping for straws, there really is no hope for y->>1386621...pic relatedJust as the mecha was winding up for another punch, you lob a chunk hive at its head, blinding it of vision. Blindly, the mecha tries to punch you, but instead gets himself stuck onto the hive. How... fortunate. >>1386626Taking advantage of the opportunity, you load about ten bears into the cannon and launch them onto the mecha. Though the scent of honey overwhelms them, they carry on. They've been subjected to this kind of training before, where they had to resist the temptation of honey and carry on with their mission. These are the soldiers of Osro, of course.You tell them that above all else, they must not kill Heratio, because he is yours for the killing.
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>1386615Shoot it in the face. A DK-sized cannonball is going to fucking suck for that mech
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>1386636Then crush it under our treads and start pummeling at it.
>>1386636You shoot a cannon ball at the mecha's face, and it's a direct hit! It's clear the Heratio is doing his damnedest to get out of the hive, but the damage it keeps sustaining is slowing down his progress, and the obscenities he keeps shouting isn't really helping much.>>1386653Your fortress doesn't have treads. It actually just a large bug.>The forest fire has started!
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>1386671Finishing move. Punch through the mech, grab heratio, and crush him.
>>1386674You walk up to him and punch him! Unfortunately, you miss completely and end up stuck with him. Ports on the side of the mecha open up and begin launching cannonballs at you.Way to go, asshole.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>1386671Cripple the mech once and for all by swinging a burning tree at his fucking headWe Breath of the Wild now
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>1386677All according to plan. Launch yourself into the mech and get your knives ready for some regicide.
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>1386677>Unfortunately, you miss completely and end up stuck with him.Call upon the bees for their aid, their Quadruple King demands it!
>>1386678Your fists are stuck inside the honey and have no way of getting the burning trees behind you. The bear army, however, fashion some torches and are attempting the burn the joints of the mecha. Progress is slow, but at least, they're trying.>>1386679You load yourself into the cannon, but all the honey has clogged up the cannon's internal mechanisms. It stutters and launches you straight into the honey. You are now stuck in the honey.>>1386681The bees can only respond to the orders of their queen, and due to the queen being dead, they are flipping the fuck out and have no idea what to do. They're pretty much useless in this battle.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>1386677>Unfortunately, you miss completely and end up stuck with him.>>1386688>You are now stuck in the honey.Fug. Our cunning plans have turned against us!>>1386688>The bees can only respond to the orders of their queen, and due to the queen being dead, they are flipping the fuck out and have no idea what to do.Name the most suitable bee as our new bee queen to get these bees to get us out of all this honey!
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1386688Eat the honey to power us. Then run in there and stab the fucker in his crown jewels.
>>1386700You try to get a suitable chunk of honey in your large maw, but it fails to do anything. It's just honey, what did you expect it to do?While you soldiers are trying to burn the joints, a stray torch falls onto the honey. No one notices it, and after some time the torch sets the honey on fire! If you don't get out soon, you're going to end up engulfed in flames!
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>1386688Call for the closest bear to eat you free and then ride him to the monkey mecha
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1386712Jump out of your gooey mess and scramble down the honey to continue your assault.
>>1386695>Name the most suitable bee as our new bee queen to get these bees to get us out of all this honey!>>1386712Are we able to do this, QM?
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>1386712>No one notices it, and after some time the torch sets the honey on fire! If you don't get out soon, you're going to end up engulfed in flames!Call the bears to get some fire extinguishers to stop the fire!
>>1386714All the bears are too busy trying to burn the joints! Try as you may, they cannot hear you!>>1386718>Someone rolls a one>:^)The honey is not that easy to climb out of! You keep trying to pull yourself out, but it acts more like quicksand! You shake so hard that...... the three crowns on top your head fall off. They fall about 30 ft below you and get stuck in the honey.God what a mess.>>1386719You attempt to assign a new queen, but the bees are too frantic to be able to even think cohesively. You go back to thinking up another solution.
>>1386729>losing crownsIs it time for autistic rage
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>1386729>... the three crowns on top your head fall off. They fall about 30 ft below you and get stuck in the honey.NOOOO! Not the crowns, and we're stuck too!>>1386729Use our kingly authority to calm bees down enough to listen to our previous attempt for a new queen.
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1386729Fuck it all. Get this crowns and then murder the fuck out of the monkey bastard.
>>1386735You try again to assign a new queen, but once again the plan fails! These bees are too fanatic for even rational thought! Why did you even try again?>>1386737GOD.FUCKING.DAMMIT.YOU HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT. YOU GO TURBO AUTIST AND IMMEDIATELY FREE YOURSELF FROM THE HONEY. REEEEEEEEEing all the way down to your crowns, you grab them and climb right back up onto the mecha. Your autistic screeching can be heard for miles, and as you climb up into the mecha, you can hear Heratio panicking as he tries to free himself from the honey. You burst into his control pit and brandish your golden knives. Heratio tries to unsheathe his sword, but you barely give him the chance. You mutilate the monkey king so brutally that his corpse is unrecognizable. You see his crown, and the lustrous sight of it manages to get you out of your autistic rage.It's made of gold, and is etched with many geometrical designs like shapes and diagrams. Precisely cut diamonds are embedded in a pattern, and they glimmer like stars. You place it onto your tower of crowns.>NEW TITLE ACHIEVED>YOU ARE NOW THE PENTUPLE KINGIt's starting to get a bit hard to balance them all, but the main issue is how the hell are you going to get out of this situation now that you, your fortress, and your newfound monkey mecha are about to burn along with the hive.
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>1386771>>13867272nd attempt. Use our mechs' speakers to call upon the bears for aid.
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>1386778Try to pry our mecha out of the hive and look for a source of water.
>>1386778There aren't really any speakers in this mech, so you just go to your bear army and tell them to help you get this thing unstuck. They don't really know how, but you tell them to do whatever they can. Fortunately, a band of nearly 100 hungry bears are able to make quick work of the honey and manage to get the arms unstuck. With some finagling, you manage to get the Monkey Mecha unstuck, and use it to get your fortress out as well, just in time too, considering the fire almost engulfed the entire hive. You leave.>There were five casualtiesThis is quite the battle, the biggest in some time. No doubt it'll attract more kings and armies intent on ending your reign.>Another day begins1. To the north is Blubantia the Icy. A walrus whose kingdom lies in an icy tundra, and his kingdom is said to the coldest around. His crown resembles that of walrus tusks.2. To the east is the Olaf, the Tidepool King. It's not really a king, just a location. It harbors all sorts of royal sea life at high tide. It'll be really hard to find and the crowns are going to be a little small.3. To the south is Count Franz, a vulture king who owns an army of a thousand vultures. He'll be extremely hard to catch even with your Ovum Regalia. His crown is an amalgamation of bones taking a crown-like shape, which is gilded in gold.4. To the west is Holy Gargantus the Eldest. A gigantic turtle whose age is unknown to everyone. He'll be extremely hard to take down even with your fortress. His crown is extremtly heavy as well. His crown is giant and you won't be able to wear it. It'll make a good crown for your castle, however.
>>1386861I say we load out and embark for Count Franz. Let's mount our royal stinger on our ovum regalia.
>>1386861Since everything's calmed down now, try naming our bee queen amongst the most suitable bee candidate so they can do something next time.
>>1386870>>1386861Let's kill a vulture
>>1386861>>1386875>>13868703rd for crown.
>>1386870>>1386872>>1386919You hop aboard your Ovum Regia and fly over to Count Franz's kingdom. You fly for hours and eventually get into a desert. The sun seems to intensify in this land, and sand can only be seen for miles around. A few more hours pass and you eventually encounter the vulture king's "kingdom," which is really just thousands of vultures swarmed around a giant cow skull. Almost immediately, hundreds of vultures flock around you attempting to peck your eyes out. Either your reputation precedes you or they're just really fucking stupid.What do you do?
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1386968Use my musket, or the O.R.'s rockets to scare off the damn birds.Hopefully all it will take is a single warning shot to scare the fuckers off
>>1387012>another fucking 20You pull out your rifle and fire a shot. They pull back and, now realizing who they're fucking with, fly away out of fear. They all crowd into the skull castle and lock all the doors.Huh, that was easy.
>>1387036Do we have anything we can drop on them from above?
>>1387036>>1387012Someone post the gif of the giant tower backing the fuck away from DK
>>1387036>>1387049>Do we have anything we can drop on them from above?Another natural 20, is what.
>>1387049Your Ovum Regia is designed to fit only you in a small compact space, so there's really not much room for anything else.
>>1387055How sturdy is the Ovum Regia itself? Can it survive a long fall and still be usable?
>>1387094You'd probably kill the bird inside it.
>>1387108Can we set the bird free?
>>1387055Fuck it. Do we have the Royal Stinger?
>>1387154You always have your weapons on you.
>>1387154Fuck it, I see no obvious choice other than to scout the immediate area for potential points of entry. Let's do that
>>1387176Scout the area from above, search for any weaknesses in the fortifications. Possible points of entry, something we can sabotage, whatever.
Rolled 2 (1d20)Should we roll to find an opening?Try to find an opening.I don't get what the point is since we could just all keep rolling until one of us gets it.
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>1387323>Rolled 2 (1d20)Yeah no, I'm not having that
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>1387200Send in a bear spy to look around the compound. Vultures fear bears.