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Discord: https://discord.gg/fjQ8D

Character Sheet (Full!):https://drive.google.com/open?id=1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU
Character Sheet (Renexizious Only!): https://drive.google.com/open?id=1xgNKMzLUZS9L05DUCxmsvuYs-bGPIRpQsFv5k7oaBBk

Last episode we fought against Drow terrorism and succeeded, with the cost being Renexizious just coming down with only a slightly deadly disease. In addition, Elizabeth has become less autistic

In addition, her shapeshifting has upgraded.
Oh, and Chrysoula's father has come for a bit... But while Renexizious's sick, you won't exactly talk to him.

Elizabeth is currently your regent!

The Cabinet currently wants to talk to you.
A national poll has gathered the war exhaustion of your Empire is Very High.
A few werewolves seem to have gone missing in Hansodr, with little to no leads.
Your population's healthcare is currently stretched to it's limit, with a notable shortage of doctors.
There are currently petitioners awaiting you.
The cabinet wants to speak with you.

Treasury: 30$ Million

National Actions (2)

>Encourage Industry!
>Look into the werewolf disappearances?
>Expand the military!
>Research things!
>Construct in Stockholm!
>Construct in another country's capital!
>Influence the Russian Election!
>Try to get more power as monarch and less power to the Parliament! (Elizabeth Only! She's popular enough to possibly decrease the status of Parliament and get you more money and power!)
>Intervene in Persia... (Might get the Chinese to attack you!)
>...You know, Renexizious often goes on vacations... Maybe you should. To that other dimension he talks in his sleep about... (Visit the kobolds!)
>Diplomatic Actions!
>See what the Cabinet wants.
>Take petitions from the commoners!
>...See about trying to reform a branch of the government.
>Try to expand the healthcare system!
>...Try to upgrade Renexizious's fast food place?
>Try to treat Renexizious more...
>Look into over-seas expansion?
>...Maybe you should go on a tour of the empire, and see what's prospering and not...
>...Try to deploy troops back to Korea.
>Deal with the anti-war protestors.
>Write-In

Personal Actions: 1

>Spend time with Renexizious?
>Spend time with Chryosula?
>Spend time with Charlemagne?
>Spend time with... Frankizka...
>Try to spend time with Renexizious's parents, perhaps?
>Try to spend time with one of your children?
>Write-in
>>
>>1313378
>Look into the werewolf disappearances?
>Take petitions from the commoners!
>>
>>1313378
>Spend time with... Frankizka...
Need to talk to her anyways
>>
>>1313378
>Look into the werewolf disappearances?
>...Maybe you should go on a tour of the empire, and see what's prospering and not...
>Spend time with... Frankizka...
>>
>>1313378
>Encourage Industry!
>Look into the werewolf disappearances?

These two, we can expand the military once our economy is stronger. Plus disappearances indicate crime, and government has a primary duty to protect its citizens from such.

>Take petitions from the commoners! This can be done with a couple low level government employees.
>>
>>1314251
Speaking of our military, I would advise against any sort of expansion. We are currently near the maximum manpower our national reserves can support without drafting.


To strengthen our forces, might I suggest rolling out the new combat armour (which we still need a name for. Traditionally I would suggest something like Armadillo, Bear or another such animal but we could name it after a god or something...) to more troops than just one of our specialist regiments?
>>
>>1314261
I think that we only draw troops Fromm Sweden and maybe Finald or other parts of Scandinavia. If we were able to bring say Russia closer into alignment with our empire then our troop reserves would be larger.
>>
>>1314507
>*Finland*
>>
>>1314507
Op described that being as very hard to do. Which makes sense since the entirety of Scandinavia shares a general culture where as Russia is a separate culture entirely.

Also, we only extract humans for the army, if we had yuan ti and werewolves we would be far better off.
>>
>>1314532
I'm like 99% sure that Half-Dragons are in our military as well. They form most of the officer corps if I recall. Also I don't think there's anything preventing werewolves from serving and they're on of the more willing races in our empire.
>>
>>1314565
I mean there are no formal werewolf or yuan ti regiments and that at one point it was raised as a way to get more manpower, specifically in the case of the yuan ti.

As to the half-dragons, that was more so our way of ensuring loyalty and effectiveness from them.
>>
>>1314585
we don't need formal regiments, that creates an idea of distinction within the military and unless we're making them different branches or giving them different functions distinction is not a good thing within the ranks of common soldiers.

as for officers and ensuring loyalty, good call was made with the half dragons.

how long until QM is normally back?
>>
>>1314612
QM is an illusive beast but if he is going to on then he will be on in a fair time, at least an hour. I think.


As to the half dragons it was a good call. We also need to make the draco-taur a official branch / unit of the army. Preferably serving as our body guards / vanguard into battle.


As to formal regiments, they are useful, as the different races all have different abilities and requirements to deploy effectively. Mixed regiments make logistics more complex along with medical care unless we specify the racial formation of a regiment or something...
>>
>>1314634
well, I haven't considered biological variation aside from the racial distinction affecting troop behavior. significant biological differences may dictate necessity to split up the troops by species.
>>
>>1314738
Considering that yuan ti spices can kill humans, that mino's can't eat meat and so on, it would be advisable to plan it around each races abiltiies and weaknesses.

For example, having mino's be heavy weapons.
>>
>>1314772
light armor heavy weapons, similar to having fast moving artillery pieces. we apparently have modern artillery so encouraging inventive weapons development could work out effectively with the separation of the species in the military.
>>
>>1314809
Not to mention the benefits of having the dwarves, who as a bonus are great at fortifying their positions.

As in, the kobolds may do great traps, but the dwarves could survive anything short of a nuke inside their homes.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d3)

Rolling.

1=Take Petitions.
2=Go on a tour of the empire!
3=Encourage Industry!

The reason other races don't formally serve is that it would be a nightmare logistics wise, unless you want to bypass your officers and let mixed regiments happen.
>>
>>1314940
See, like I said, logistics nightmare.


I mean, it makes a load of sense when you consider that each race would need a different uniform, except for humans + werewolves + orcs.
>>
>>1314940
Couldn't we just allow non half dragons to become officers?

Or to be more specific let werewolves lead werewolf regiments and so on and so forth?
>>
>>1314951
We made all of our officers halfdragons for a series of reasons: the mutagen inspired loyalty to us; they were naturally stronger / faster / better and thus could lead from the front and it helps that they are somewhat bullet proofed.


However we could have werewolves form second line elements and other areas, like police or such. Where the logistics are less important (in the army your food, housing, uniform, etc all are supplied. In the police, a uniform and that is about it.) and where they can interact with their own people better than human officers might.


Still, we aren't working on the army right now. As we lack the budget for sweeping changes and that is the only kind we wish to make.
>>
>>1314978
Yea but the thing is we won't need a mutagen to inspire loyalty in the werewolves.
Also using werewolves as regular infantry is kind of off.

They are better suited for small groups used for ambushing and tracking.

Also where is the money victor was going to give us?
Is that later.
iirc we made a deal for 60 million.
>>
>>1314989
I understand what you are saying. However I would point out that no army has any sort of large scale elements like what you are describing.

As to the money, we may have spent it. I honestly don't know...
>>
>>1314951
Well, it's not that simple. For example, if you wanted a minotaur regiment, you'd need to make minotaur-sized guns. Then uniforms. And grenades. And backpacks. And rations. And cigarettes Which I believe come in most rations during the 1950s to prevent stress. That sort of thing. And you could let them lead, that's perfectly fine, though some races might have a different idea of what the command structure might be. A yuan-ti officer might be extremely religious and use religious zeal to encourage their men, which other officers may or may not like.

You decide to encourage industry, and look into the werewolf disappearances.

They seem to be happening at the border of Hansodr, around the ice lakes that remain frozen year-round... Not many people go out save for fishermen (fisherwolves?) and hunters... The disappearances are usually marked by what seems to be a struggle.

A somewhat famous werewolf private detective from Germany has taken up the struggle to try and find the kidnapper... Though he's known as a bit of a loose cannon.

Now of course... What will you do?

Actions

>Head down their personally! This could also give you a examination to see how the city's doing! (And also maybe make Elizabeth a bit less disdainful of werewolves if she tries to "blend in" to local culture", and might even increase the loyalty of werewolves by quite a bit for solving it personally! Choose a form to go down in, by the way.)
>Try to get that werewolf private detective to investigate for you...
>...Send a few spies or something. (Cost: 6$ Million)
>Send Charlemagne... He's popular, and you'd rather not have to deal with the... Wolves, so to speak.
>Write-In
>>
>>1315002
We didn't actually spend the money.

And yea no army has.
But most nations don't have dwarves, werewolves elves, half dragons, etc.

Holding ourselves to traditional methods might not be the best
>>
>>1315013
>Try to get that werewolf private detective to investigate for you...

Offer him the full resources of the nation: police and military support, a limited get-out-of-jail card and a cash lump sum once the criminal(s) are found.
>>
>>1315013
But yuan-ti officers would be leading other yuan-ti.
And all yuan-ti are religious as fuck.

And the cigarettes came in C-Rations.
We should probably update from C-rations to something better.


>Head down their personally! This could also give you a examination to see how the city's doing! (And also maybe make Elizabeth a bit less disdainful of werewolves if she tries to "blend in" to local culture", and might even increase the loyalty of werewolves by quite a bit for solving it personally! Choose a form to go down in, by the way.)
werewolf form

Also maybe we should look into the health effects of cigarettes and asbestos.

iirc asbestos is still in use
>>
>>1315021
True but it is wise to consider, that methods are often traditional because they are effective.

For example, the kobolds seemingly have a human army but it is just more focused on defensive combat and traps.
>>
Do anons want to do both?
>>
>>1315035
That's due to the fact that they have a empire of one uniform race so they can create a style of warfare dedicated around it.

Defensive combat utilizing traps and superior fire power due to their weak frames, and melee abilities.

And also the fact they ripped off alot of things from the romans
>>
>>1315038
Eh, fuck it. Let's be the sexy dame in this noir story. That always ends well for the sexy dame...
>>
>>1315038
I'm kinda in favor of going thee ourselves but we can do both.
>>
>>1315038
Do both
>>
You of course, decide to take a trip down to Hansodr... In your werewolf form.

Of course.

It takes you about three hours to apply proper make up to your eyes, proper skin lotion, finding a proper dress to wear, and sending a slave to buy you some werewolf shoes... Which of course, aren't even made from one of Cristóbal Balenciaga's designs! God, you feel like a commoner just wearing these shoes and dress...

You eventually settle for a modest Christian Dior set of clothes... The hat of course, sort of rubs up against your ears, but at least you think you look alright. Of course, most werewolves lack the package you carry, so to speak, requiring you to have to embarrassingly ask that nice tailor to make you a new bra for your werewolf form and all the others.

Well... Actually, maybe you should spend some more time getting ready...

After half an hour of applying lipstick, powdering your face, painting your... Claws, and having a slave groom your fur, you think your finally ready to head to Hansodr.

Actions

>...Take the train to Hansodr. It's a fast way, and comfortable.
>...Maybe you missed a spot. Just.... More makeup?
>...How about a different form. You just don't feel comfortable in this one.
>...Try to get someone else to go with you.
>...Maybe just take a car down.
>Fly there in your dragon form. It's the fastest way, but ruins all that makeup you've been applying!
>Write-in
>>
>>1315075
>...Take the train to Hansodr. It's a fast way, and comfortable.
>>
>>1315075
Oh, and also...

>As Gwynevere, try to convince Elizabeth she looks beautiful?
>>
>>1315075
>...Take the train to Hansodr. It's a fast way, and comfortable.

>Look up Cristóbal Balenciaga and Christian Dion
>Find out they were real life people
Wow. I'm surprised you know that much about 1950's fashion designers.
>>
>>1315095
This makes me wonder.
Why do mobile phones exist in the 50s?
>>
>>1315105
In real life? They didn't. You could get car mounted and even suitcase phones but nothing smaller than that. Primarily limitations in the batteries, receivers and transmitters but the electronics were also quite large / power intensive.


In game? We made them with tech taken from a universe in the year 2016, dragon knowhow and bullshit-fu.
>>
>>1315123
Wait we made those brick phones?

I know we made the phones with the clam shell(I was there and actually started that)designs but the bricks too?
>>
>>1315131
I would assume so, I mean the 1950's saw the adaption of the transistor into household / commercial electronics and we are in the early part of the 50's. So most of that shit is probably still being tested.

Going off of wikipedia: "The first handheld mobile phone was demonstrated by John F. Mitchell and Martin Cooper of Motorola in 1973, using a handset weighing c. 4.4 lbs (2 kg). "

And

"In 1983, the DynaTAC 8000x was the first commercially available handheld mobile phone."


I believe we made brick phones, called S.I.M phones or something...
>>
>>1315131
>>1315153
Just reread your post, I don't remember you describing how you wanted the phones to look and I think OP took a different look from what you intended. I might be wrong though.
>>
>>1315075
>...Take the train to Hansodr. It's a fast way, and comfortable.
>>
>>1315095

I sort of remembered them from a wikipedia search I did on a movie from 1957 I think. I don't remember what it's called honestly. Then I got sucked into a near-infinite wikipedia sprawl which nearly took my life.

You decide to take the train to Hansodr. You get quite a few looks, and nervously just try to use your hat to avoid looks...

Eventually the train arrives at Hansodr, and you get out... The air smells terrible, if that makes sense... And you can see the city is surrounded in quite a bit of smog from all the factories... It smells awful here. There's plenty of signs of construction all over the place though, and you eventually leave the train station...

You walk down the street past crowded and what seems to be apartments crammed to the max with people. The city is in quite a bit of a sorry state, but the people here seem good-mannered and polite, and surprisingly happy from what you see.

Many people around here talk in strange accents, mostly German, French, Italian, and a few Americans and Brits... There's also a surprising amount of Spaniards as well.

Of course, that's when you remember you forget your lunch at home, and decide to go up to a hot dog vendor to buy something. After haggling him down to giving you it for free, you get a very large hot dog which smells of grease practically...

But it tastes heavenly... Even if it burns you a bit with the amount of grease in it.

Quite a few stores seem composed around meat... Such as "Uncle Lycan's Pizzeria", seemingly the most popular pizzeria in town (and the only one who's stayed in business). From what you hear, apparently they have "meat pizza's" made exclusively of meat and their special sauce... It's a little strange, but oh well.

You check the address of wherever this detective is at... Apparently not too far away...

Hm.

Actions

>Wander around the city a bit... Your a bit curious to see how this all works.
>...Maybe you should sample some of the local cuisine. Just out of curiosity.
>...Head to the detective's office.
>Write-In
>>
>>1315155
No I mean when I went to go make better phones ren talked about improving on brick phones as if they already existed.

>
Within the hour, you easily invent telephones and innovate towards cellphones... Mobile ones. Smaller then the bricks you use today...

This implies the bricks already exist
>>
>>1315178
>Wander around the city a bit... Your a bit curious to see how this all works.
Elizabeth always has to do what Ren can't and right now it's probably examining Hansodrs industry and its impact.
>>
>>1315178

>Wander around the city a bit... Your a bit curious to see how this all works.
>>
You wander around further...

The largest factory in the seems to be a German Panzer factory, dominating the cityscape.... Plenty of smoke comes out of it.

You of course, seeking better air quality, go towards the outskirts of the city a bit just to see it...

As you head down there, there seems to be a strong religious vibe from the densely put cathederals and churches... Eventually you seem to get to a part of the city predominantly Spanish in origin... It's a sweet smell coming from it, away from most of the factories. There's tons of food vendors on the side of the road, offering quesadillas, tacos, that sort of thing... along with "Lycan Dogs" which seem to be slang for the hot dogs here. It's a little non-nonsensical, but the Spanish section of the city seems quite well off...

You eventually wind up in the German section of the residential area, smelling of beer and meat... It's nothing too substantial, though you do see one of those restaurant's Ren made being quite heavily populated and filled to the brim with customers...

As you walk away, you walk head-first into a werewolf, and cause him to trip a bit with your bigger size and surprising strength.

"Oh, my apologies, I didn't see you there!"

"Erh, it's fine, really." He seems to be German, with only a slight accent. He seems to be an office worker judging from his tight tie and clothes. You of course, help him back up.

"I erh... Who are you?"

"Oh, just call me Elizabeth. I am pleased to meet you."

"Erh, right, right. I'm Joseph. Are you going somewhere?"

"Well, you could say that."

"I could indeed. Why are you out here alone though?"

"Me? Oh, I was going to meet up with someone... How about you?"

"I was getting off work myself and heading home, and maybe grabbing a newspaper and burger."

"Oh, how quaint. Would you happen to get your burgers from the fast food place not too far?"

"Ah, yes. The restaurant Renexizious owns. Very good burgers... Though I can't say about the nutrition..."

"Well, Renexizious never has claimed it was healthy for you."

He shrugs passively, and the two of you walk and talk.

"Well... I should probably leave. Just don't stick around the alley's too long. There's an orc cartel in the area."

"Oh, thank you sir. I'll see you around too."

You say your goodbyes and continue on, but the werewolf stops you.

"Oh, my apologies... I almost forgot. Would you like to sign my petition?"

"Petition?"

"Oh, yes. It's for holidays to be taken off, like Oktoberfest."

Hm.

He holds out a clipboard with a pen attached to it.

Actions

>Sign the petition!
>Politely decline.
>...You know, why don't we talk a bit? You seem interesting enough.
>...Orc Cartel? I'm curious... Could you tell me a bit about it?
>You know, why don't I take this directly to the Empress and Emperor?
>Oh, why you are quite lucky... You know that I'm the queen, right?
>Write-in
>>
>>1315297
>...Orc Cartel? I'm curious... Could you tell me a bit about it?
I wonder if that's the cause.
>>
>>1315297
>Politely decline.
>"Maybe some other time, right now i'm a little too concerned to be worried with holidays. Terrorist attack, the war, and everything else."
>>
>>1315297
>Sign the petition!
Liz does have a disdain for German culture iirc so it makes sense from a RP'ing standpoint
>...Orc Cartel? I'm curious... Could you tell me a bit about it?
>>
>>1315297
>...Orc Cartel? I'm curious... Could you tell me a bit about it?
But we are definitely going after this, no crime in our empire.
>>
>>1315326
Wait iirc liz is part german
>>
By taken off, he means that people get off work to celebrate it.
>>
>>1315333
I think shes wannabe British and suppresses her German
>>
>>1315347
Yea she does.
Though she does enjoy german food.
>>
"Well, I might sign this... But what's this about an orc cartel?"

"You haven't heard of it? It's a motorcycle gang that smuggles drugs and weapons into the cities... They're based out of here in the Orc part of the city."

"Oh, really?"

"Most people stay away from them... They're mostly unemployed since there's no more jobs really here now, and so they took up crime... Just be careful, ja?"

Actions

>...Don't worry about me, ok?
>...Well, maybe I should visit this little cartel... Maybe get them to peacefully back down if your lucky.
>...You know I'm a dragon, right? I scarcely have to scared about my safety.
>I should just go to see my friend...
>Write-In
>>
>>1315401

>...Don't worry about me, ok?
>I should just go to see my friend...


A good start might be drafting orcs into the military.
Orcs seem to be mostly militant anyways
>>
>>1315410
Not to mention they are essentially human in diet and shape. So we don't need new weapons or armour.
>>
"Don't worry about me, I should just go to see my friend."

You wave goodbye and go to see the werewolf detective.

You know, that wasn't so bad.

I was expecting it to be... Worse, I suppose.

I know, right? I was half-expecting to be mugged at some places.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if this softens Elizabeth's disposition towards werewolves a bit.

+3 if Elizabeth can think of the positives of werewolves.
+2 if she can think why they aren't exactly that... Well, terrifying like the books she's read about werewolves.
+2 if Elizabeth and Gwyneverve can try to get used to the werewolf form and comment on it a bit.
+1 if Elizabeth can try to enjoy being taller then most werewolves.
+1 if Gwynevere and Elizabeth can be a bit excited to use the other forms once in a while.
>>
Rolled 19 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1315452
Loyal, Hardworking race that's dedicated to the empire not to mention polite and have manners as well.

Not to mention werewolves aren't violent bloodthirsty beasts like mentioned in the stories. They seem to prefer munching on a burger rather than munching on a human
>>
If anons can do all the bonuses, Elizabeth's disdain for them will greatly be reduced.
>>
>>1315498
>Fueling liz's obsession with being taller than others.

I'm good tbqhwy
>>
>>1315452
> positives of werewolves
cute doggo pups
>>
19+9=28

Good Sucesss
'
Elizabeth is now quite a bit more soft towards werewolves.

Of course, now you head to the office the detective is staying at, and head to the floor you believe he's on.

You take the stairs up, and eventually get to his office where a human secretary seems to be at.

"Erh, hello. This is the office of detective..."

"Detective Sigmund is out of his office right now. Do you want me to leave him a message?"

You hear what seems to be jazz playing in the room behind her, and smell smoke coming from it... Cigarette smoke. It seems the detective is indeed in.

"...Listen, I know he's in there. Can I please see him?"

She sighs.

"He's on break right now... And has been for a week. Hasn't taken any jobs for a while, don't know why. I got at least twelve jobs for him."

Hm. Certainly is strange.

Actions

>...How about I talk to him for a bit, alright?
>...How much would it cost to buy a meeting?
>...Can you call me when he's in a... Better mood?
>I can do this by myself then.
>...Is someone threatening him or anything like that?
>Ignore her and walk into the office.
>Write-In
>>
>>1315671
>...Is someone threatening him or anything like that?
>>
>>1315671
>...How about I talk to him for a bit, alright?
>>
>>1315719
this
>>
"Is someone threatening him or anything like that? And can I talk to him for a bit?"

"Sorry hon, he's not seeing anyone. All I can do for you is leaving a message he may or may not check on."

Goddamn it.

Actions

>...Might as well reveal who you are. It's an easy way to get in.
>...Try to stay incognito. Mention how it's very, very important.
>...Maybe if you get her either envious enough or ridiculed enough, she'll be willing to let you pass just to get rid of you. (And if you so want, you can try to remember your father's scottish insults, as degrading as that may be.)
>...Do it the polite way. Offer him a paid for lunch and tea with you... Though it's unlikely.
>...Try to bribe her?
>Write-In
>>
>>1315769
>...Try to stay incognito. Mention how it's very, very important.
it's a mater of national importance.
>>
>>1315769
>...Try to bribe her?
My Sicilian genes tell it's the right thing to do.
>>
>>1315807
well my American Gene's are telling me just walk the fuck in there.
>>
>>1315816
That would work too
>>
>>1315769
>Walk away
My genre savvy tells me that the orc cartel got him
>>
>>1315824
were a fucking shapeshifting dragon queen, Orcs aint slaying us unless it's a tribe of "honorable warriors."
>>
So do anons want to bribe her or try to press for how important it is?
>>
>>1315769
We could ask her where he's taking his break.
But outside that we should leave
>>
>>1315868
The latter
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

I'm just going to roll, and since two anons want to stay...

1=Try to press!
2=Bribe her!
>>
You of course, decide to go the old fashioned route of bribing...

Roll me a 1d20 anons.

Variant bonus depending on how tempting of an offer you give her.
+1 if you can mention JUST how important this meeting is.
+1 if you can try to be sweet about this.
>>
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78 KB
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Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>1315987
Oh my. How Italian of Liz.
>>
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1315987
>I must thank you for taking time to talk to me but I must press how important this meeting is. Would you reconsider and maybe get me an appointment for say 800 marks? Maybe 1000 if it's prompt After all it's not everyday I get as worried as I am today so I absolutely must see him.
>>
>>1316011
I'd say that would be about a +5 bonus. If you want to samefag either increase the money your willing to bribe her, intimidate her, or just try to convince her.
>>
Rolled 16 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1316036
>"If you need the pot to be sweetened how about a nice, fair, 3000 marks."


Liz probably carries triple that in walking around money
>>
16+7=23

Good Success!

You give her 3000 marks, and she seems quite convinced to help you... She books a meeting right now, and you of course head inside to the detective...

He seems to be smoking something and relaxing in a comfortable office chair, and as you enter, snuffs the cigarette out in the ashbowl.

He doesn't exactly seem happy, and he clearly doesn't have a chair set out for customers to talk to him. Meaning you can awkwardly just stand up or just drag that chair in the corner for you to sit in... Which of course is small. Great.

Roll me a 1d20+8 to see if you can get off to a good start with the detective.

+3 if you can use your assets to "convince him" to help.
+2 if you can introduce yourself properly and elegantly, and mention what you need help with.
+2 if you can try to find a comfortable way to sit in your larger then usual werewolf form. (+1 if you can make up an excuse or be a bit embarrassed. Or both.)

Autosuccess if everything happens.
>>
Rolled 6 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1316096
>>
Rolled 14 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>1316096
>Hello good sir I am elizabeth. I come here to humbly ask for your aid regarding the dilemma regarding the recent disappearances.
>>
>>1316130
*Applause.*
>>
14+8=22

Borderline Success!

"Hello, good sir. I'm Elizabeth, and I'm here to humbly ask for your aid regarding the recent disappearances around here."

He seems a bit softer. Only a little though.

"I'm not working right now. Come again later."

"...Goddamn it, I bribed your secretary a thousand marks to see you. Can you please help?"

He sits back.

"I'm the middle of a case, goddamn it. Besides, that's for the police to solve, not my work. I've already got enough on my plate, fraulein."

"Really? From what I hear, you've been sitting all day doing naught but smoking."

"Well, I got the cartel trying to take me out for finding their cocaine stash in a warehouse along the highway, not to mention I have at least three lawsuits against me for various things, ranging from trespassing to excessive force regarding kneecaps and revolvers. Enough said, really. Oh, and not to mention the homicidal kidnapper who may or may not be coming after me since I snuck onto his mansion quite literally looking for these "disappearances" I think your talking about."

"...So your worried about someone going after you?"

He nods, and takes out a flipbook and a pair of reading glasses.

"So in case you can't tell, my schedule is full, and I'm busy not trying to get killed, arrested, or become one of these "disappearances."

Actions

>Well... What did you find in that mansion exactly?
>...So you have a kidnapper after you? Can you tell me a bit about him?
>Why haven't I heard about this cartel?
>...Why don't I provide some incentive for you to help me then?
>...Well, maybe you should stop being such a loose cannon.
>Write-In
>>
>>1316174
>Well... What did you find in that mansion exactly?
>...So you have a kidnapper after you? Can you tell me a bit about him?
I assume that the orc cartel is a relatively small and local thing or else we probably would've heard of it by now. Same goes for drugs that gangs are smuggling in. Also Half-Dragon and Lycanthrope physiology might allow them to take many serious drugs casually with out the consequences a human would have.
>>
>>1316174
>Well... What did you find in that mansion exactly?
>...So you have a kidnapper after you? Can you tell me a bit about him?
>Why haven't I heard about this cartel?
>>
"Well... What did you find in that mansion exactly? I'm curious."

He seems a bit hesitant to say anything.

"...It isn't exactly for your ears. I have a client who's interested herself, and I'm not exactly keen to have you know anything right now."

"...Really?"

"Damn... Well, why haven't I heard about this cartel?"

"...Have you been living under a rock or something, ma'am? Big crime cartel in Hansodr, mostly local. Some roots in Stockholm but not much, mostly just protection rackets... They're in drugs, guns, and prostitution."

"Oh... I see. So anyways, what's this kidnapper?"

"...How the hell would I know? I got a letter to my door a few days ago saying "it will find you" or some shit."

Actions

>Try to convince him to tell you more?
>...Demand to know more!
>Who's this client anyways?
>...Maybe a bit of strategic asset deployment might be in order. (+3 Bonus)
>...Offer a bribe.
>Lay off. He has a client and is hesitant to involve you.
>Write-In
>>
>>1316609

>Who's this client anyways?
>>
>>1316609
>Try to convince him to tell you more?
Now I'm interested.
>>
"So, who's this client anyways?"

"That's confidential too, you know."

Damn. He's really not saying anything...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if he'll say anything about his client and provide any information.

+3 if you can use your assets to soften him up.
+1 if you can try to mention why he should tell you.
>>
Rolled 12 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1316698
>>
Rolled 10 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1316698
>>
12+6=18

Borderline Success!

"All I can say is that she's a damned important person, alright? Comes from a foreign country, and not the type you'd see around here."

The werewolf takes out a zippo lighter, flicks it open, and takes out a large cigarette and smokes it.

"And listen kid, my clients get pissed if I say too much."

He lays back in the chair

"You know, for a private detective... You are sure a tosser..."

"I don't even know what that means."

"Well, why don't we talk here for a bit and you can find out?"

"Oh, hah. I'll have you know I've served in the polizeibehörde von Berlin, and by Gott I'm not going to put up with this."

"At least hear me out, damn it."

"Fine. From what I'm guessing, you also want me to investigate?"

"Yes, I do. I understand if your busy but this is of national importance."

He gives a bit of a wolfish grin.

"...Well, well... I'd say you'd be Queen Elizabeth then. National importance... Not to mention I'd recognize that rack from anywhere."

"Well..."

"...Good one too. Do you smoke?"

"Oh, erh..."

You've only smoked once in a blue moon, in all honesty.

"It dulls the senses in the city. Surprised you haven't smoked at all."

"Really?"

"What? Practically everyone smokes just so we can't smell the stench."

"I'll have one, I suppose. I don't smoke often, too busy."

He pass you a cigarette and you lack a lighter... He however, puts his zipp forth, albeit a bit low, causing you to have to bend down in order to smoke it. His eyes seem focused elsewhere, and you distastefully smoke it... You feel half-tempted to snuff it out just from the smell...

"Now, we're in business... I'm willing to take this job on. No pay really..."

"Really?"

"...So long as you get those charges against me "forgotten about", and help me take care of that cartel."

"How am I supposed to help you?"

"Send me someone good at shooting. Or you could just try to get them a better life if you have the time... I certainly don't though. And those charges will vanish if you talk to the right guy about it, trust me... I'd say the minister of Law or just write me a pardon."

"...So free?"

"Free as free can be."

Actions

>...I suppose I can help clear up the charges against you. And maybe help you against that cartel...
>...Come on. This will be for the greater good! You'd be a hero!
>...Why don't I pay you?
>You know... You seem quite competent when it comes to actually dealing with gangs... Maybe my husband should look into making you a sort of minister of investigation or something?
>Write-In
>>
>>1317128
>...I suppose I can help clear up the charges against you. And maybe help you against that cartel...
>>
>>1317128
>...I suppose I can help clear up the charges against you. And maybe help you against that cartel...
>>
"Well, I suppose I can help clear up the charges against you and help you against that cartel."

"Great... Why don't we meet tommorow and venture out to the mansion then?"

"...That soon?"

"Well, I've heard how fast you can get things done, worst case scenario we just push it back."

"Oh, well... I suppose I'll see you later... Where exactly am I going?"

"I suppose you should knock off either the cartel first or go or write that pardon and hope that the courthouse likes it."

Actions

>...I can write a pardon. Seems easy enough.
>...Why don't I take care of this cartel's clubhouse? I'm certain that I can find a way to knock some sense back into them.
>>
>>1317483
>...Why don't I take care of this cartel's clubhouse? I'm certain that I can find a way to knock some sense back into them.
>>
"Well, why don't I take care of this cartel's clubhouse? I'm certain I can find a way to knock some sense back into them."

"Right... Head to the scrap yard, and look for the large amount of Orcs messing about then."

You nod, and you of course get ready to leave...

So... What's the plan? And it better not involve murdering all the orcs.

Is this your inner pacifist speaking?

Well, I'm under the Hippocratic oath, you know...

...You aren't a doctor.

Hey, I'm practicing, alright? I'm trying to be one.

Actions

>...I suppose I'll find a non-lethal way to do this. I can talk to them about changing their ways.
>...I'd rather just go in and just do some property damage and scare them a bit.
>...We can... Try to arrest them? I mean, we have quite a few powerful forms we can use.
>Let's just go in and do what we need to do. As in maybe kill a few.
>Write-In
>>
>>1317541
>Let's just go in and do what we need to do. As in maybe kill a few.
Does Liz have a Dragotaur form? It would be a good backup incase shit hits the fan.
>>
>>1317585
She does anon. And what form do you want to use?
>>
>>1317591
Minotaur
>>
You tell Gwynevere you may kill them. Or only a little. She seems sensitive to this and refuses to assist you if you do kill someone.

Either way you prepare to head the the scrap yard...

It takes you a bit to get there, and you go to your minotaur form, a big and bulky form...

You of course find that the scrap yard is surrounded in a large chain link fence. Meaning you need to find a way through.

Actions

> Tear through it!
>Go over it!
> Shapeshift!
> Try to find the main gate?
> Try to climb up an adjacent building and leap over!
> Write in
>>
>>1317633
> Tear through it!
>>
You tear easily through the fence and head to their clubhouse... It was quite loud to hear you tear through the fence, but hopefully no one hears so you can get a surprise attack.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can catch the advantage of surprise.

+3 if you can try to be sneaky in your minotaur form.
+2 if Elizabeth can be physically imposing still, and if she can justify to Gwynevere maybe killing a few of the orcs. Or all of them.
+1 if Liz can make a comment about if she likes or dislikes her minotaur form. (+1 if she can think if she looks good or not.)
>>
Rolled 6 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1317711
They're sending drugs to people which is bad for their health and may as well be on par as purposely spreading the plague.
>>
Allowing samefagging if you can think about how to be sneaky in your minotaur form and if she can worry about how she looks.
>>
Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1317744
Walk very very slowly and maybe try to grasp onto to stuff that's firm like a pillar so we make less of an impact with each step.
>This coat is so ragged. Ren's just sure to find it unappealing if I don't properly groom it on a regular basis.
>>
>>1317757
Close to a success anon. Just do the bonuses and you'll succeed.
>>
>>1317791
I'm confused. Did I not do the bonuses by putting a 4 instead of an 8 or do I have to give reason why killing the Orcs is okay and make us be physically imposing.

If it's the latter then it's because the Orcs are green which is a color of pestilence and these ones don't contribute anything positive to society. Crouch down and have our horns ready to skewer anything in front of us.
>>
No, I mean there's some remaining bonuses you could of done. You can do the one where Liz thinks about her appearance if you want ro get a minor success or a normal one if she thinks if she likes this form or not.
>>
>>1317920
Well the Minotaur form is rather large. The coat, while somewhat ragged, is rather soft and the color of it compliments the eyes and their color. Also the horns are quite magnificent. They carry an aura of beastial savagery but a noble aura at the same time. Also having bigger boobs then Chrysoula is good.
>>
Success!

You sneak up on the orcs in the clubhouse and peek through a window to see quite a few orcs in leather jackets sitting at a bar, drinking alcohol, smoking, arm wrestling, and what seems to be a drinking contest. Oh, and one of those pool tables. They seem unarmed, though the female bartender has a nasty double barrel shotgun hanging on the wall... The bar itself seems to be called the Rusty Shotgun, and is a two story biker bar it seems...

You of course, smell something foul and look to see a passed out drunk werewolf in a biker outfit...

Hm.

Actions

> Strip the biker suit off the werewolf and try to pose as a biker. A bikeotaur.
> Kick the back door next to the bartender down.
> Go in through the front door.
> Wait for a bit?
> Jump through a window!
> Dragotaur form to be even more intimidating.
> Write In
>>
>>1318238
> Dragotaur form to be even more intimidating.
>>
>>1318364
How do you want to enter though? By the way, you could probably burst through a wall.
>>
>>1318378
Burst through the wall and shout
>"OH YEAH"
>>
You shift to your dragotaur form, and prepare to charge through the wall... And of course, shout "Oh Yeah!" It just feels right.

Don't question it.

Roll me a 1d20+7 to see how terrifying this is.

+3 if Elizabeth can utterly terrify everyone inside when she bursts through, and show off her strength. (+2 if she can show it off by beating the shit out of the nearest biker brutally. Non lethal if you want.)
+2 Scot Bonus if Elizabeth can act like a true Scot in a bar.
+1 if Elizabeth can get pissed the hell off.
+1 if Gwynevere can try to calm Elizabeth down a bit, and maybe try to suggest better options, and only end up making Elizabeth even more brutal/angry.

If everything happens and if anons are brutal enough, autosuccess.
>>
Rolled 13 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>1318538
Yell out 'FREEEDOM!'
>>
Rolled 13 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

>>1318538

Smash through the door and squeeze someone's head like a grape. Then grab the nearest gent and tear him in two.

And scream out, "THERE IS NO OLD MAN IN THE SKY TONIGHT EVERYONE! THERE IS ONLY ME, MYSELF AND I!"

And just tear out two pieces of the wall and smack a motherfucker between them to make a not really sandwich of biker and wall.

And for good measure. Shove our tail down someone's throat, do what Davy Jones did in Pirates of the Caribbean
>>
Allowing a higher success if anons can either try to get Gwynevere to calm Elizabeth down or if Elizabeth can be even more brutal and scottish.
>>
>>1318605

Add in to mine tearing out someone's eye, dump in the most flammable alcohol in the hole and set fire in there.

Along with showing our ass to anyone who wants to fight. Just like in Braveheart.

And scream out swear words in gaelic while playing tug of war between one hand and the other. One guy in the middle.

Add in turning a lady into a puppet by upper-cunting them. :^)
>>
>>1318605

"Alright ye filthy primitives, listen up! I ain't here to chat, and I ain't here to mingle. I be here, to git sum answers, an I dun give haf a shit if it means rippin' haf of ye apart wit me bare hands, and beatin' the other haf wit the remains until someone spills it. So wat's it gunna, mates?"
>>
Elizabeth doesn't know Gaelic or Celtic or whatever you want to call it.

You smash through the wall, startling most of the bikers... Which only get even more startle when you tear out two pieces of the wall, and a nearby stunned biker, and cause him to fall to the floor, knocked the fuck out.

This of course, causes most of the bikers to reach for weapons... Revolvers, shotguns, and pistols. The unfortunate pool player however, lacks a weapon, save only a pool cue.

The bartender herself even grabs the double barrel shotgun for this brawl... Everyone certainly seems quite scared and hesitant to attack you.

Actions

>...Now that you have their attention... Beat the shit out of them.
>...Maybe you should try to calm down and be non-lethal...
>You know, there's one really under-handed combat technique you could do. Asset distraction. (+2 to your combat rolls/charming them.)
>Terrify them. Should do the trick in getting information.
>...Charm them? You hopefully can be quite charming, even if your a bit brutish.
>Write-In
>>
>>1318682

>...Now that you have their attention... Beat the shit out of them.

Barroom blitz
>>
>>1318682
>...Now that you have their attention... Beat the shit out of them.

What languages does Liz know? I don't think she can learn them quickly like Ren since he's a born dragon.
>>
Now that you have their attention... You look to beating the shit out of each and every single one of them.

Roll me a 1d20+6 anons.

+3 if Elizabeth can find brutal ways to knock out or kill everyone in the room, which is about fourteen orcs, two humans, and one unlucky werewolf. And the bartender who's the only woman.
+2 if Elizabeth can be extremely terrifying, and somehow find a way to make her assets terrifying as well. Or use them as a weapon.
+2 if Elizabeth can either finish off the knocked out biker or use him as a weapon somehow.
+2 if Elizabeth can try to prevent the cartel's possible escape.
+1 if Elizabeth can be scottish as fuck. (And upright about this.)

If everything's done, autosuccess.
>>
Rolled 4 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1318733
Start chucking some people at their bikes. That should retard their escape.
>>
Rolled 3 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1318733
>>
Rolled 1 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>1318733

Tear open an orc's arm and rip out the bone. Use that to kill a few people by stabbing them repeatedly in the dick until death.

For one suffocate him to death with our ass, and be sure to crush their motocycles.

For the bartender, we upper-cunt her.

All the while scream the following things.

"I HAVE COME TO DRAG YOUR WORTHLESS HIDES TO HELL TO BE THE DEVIL'S COCKSOCK!"

"YOUR GOD CAN'T SAVE YOU NOW! PRAYING WILL DO NO GOOD!"

"YOUR FAMILIES ARE NEXT! BY THEN MY MERCY IS GONE!"
>>
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>>1318782

I'm sorry.
>>
>>1318782
I think the dice gods disapprove of the amount of khornate brutality in this anon.

Since I feel nice I'll let anons use Barbaric since Elizabeth is going quite "barbaric" here.

Actions

>Use barbaric! (Note that Renexizious if he recovers tommorow will be unable to use it.)
>...Don't use it!
>>
>>1318786

>Use barbaric! (Note that Renexizious if he recovers tommorow will be unable to use it.)

How to make a smoothy starring Elizabeth, ghost starring Khorne.

Step 1: Find some poor fuckers

Step 2: Get pissed

Step 3: Put them into a blender, this means rip and tear like a blender

Step 4: Make sure it swirls, oh baby make it swirl
>>
>>1318786
>Use barbaric! (Note that Renexizious if he recovers tommorow will be unable to use it.)
>>
You can't help but get angry... They're taking arms against THEIR queen! The ruffians! The scoundrels... The utter fools!

Roll me a 1d20 for Elizabeth to RIP AND TEAR.

+3 if Elizabeth can hit maximum rip and tear and be extremely barbaric. (+1 if it can include quite a bit of gore. +2 if she can barbarically use her assets as distractions or weapons on all of them somehow. +1 if she can use her weight and size as a weapon in itself as well.)
+2 if Elizabeth can vent her anger out on the bikers.
+2 if Elizabeth can find more things to break or destroy, or use the furniture as weapons.
+1 if Gwynevere can get quite scared of Elizabeth.

If you can kill all the bikers and come up with unique ways for each one, as brutally as a Khornate, and do all the bonuses, it'll be a critical autosuccess.
And potentially upgrade her.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>1318811
>Sixteen bikers with guns, a woman with a shotgun and a werewolf with a pool stick.
wew led. I think that's too much for me to write.
>>
>>1318832
Eh, I'm willing to allow you to "combine" kills so to speak, to speed it up.
>>
>>1318811

Orcs:

For one, use his spine to strangle him to death. Another must have his head ripped off and curshed. One needs to have the inside of his head lit on fire. Rip out another's stomach and feed it to him. Grind one orc's head Hellsing style on the wall. Break a stool and use the ends to impale one up the ass. Smash two together. Douse a guy in flammable alcohol and burn him alive. Bite another in half. Suffocate one between our tits. Sit on one until his chest caves in. Rip another in half. Use both halves of the previous killing to best another to death. Give one a blood eagle. And the last get's the William Wallace death.

Werewolf: Shove the pool cue up his ass, Vlad the Impaler style. If he doesn't die then tear out his heart and give it to Gwyn to eat

Bartender: Upper-cunt

All the while, use it as stress relief.

>>1318872

This it boss?
>>
>>1318882
Only thing missing is using assets and getting Gwynevere to be a little terrified of Elizabeth. Other wise it's great anon.
>>
>>1318908

I mentioned suffocating one using tits. And I mentioned offering Gwyn to have a heart to eat, causing her to freak her out.

If the heart one doesn't work, squeeze a corpse's blood out into her mouth. Tasty blood juice.
>>
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>>1318908
Crush the bartenders head in our thighs or suffocate he in our blossom last.

>Liz, this isn't what a healing mage is suppose to do! Please stop, it's like a nightmare.

>>1318921
I might be kind of a moralfag but don't you think giving her heart to eat might be just tad overkill.
>>
>>1318934

You must remember my dear anon. I'm not an edgelord, I just follow Chaos. And Stephen King and Quentin Tarentino as my trinity of role models.

Does that affect my sanity?

Sanity is for the weak.
>>
>>1318921
Oh. Well, I missed that.

You go on a absolute rampage, There's quite a bit of impalement, a bit of comfortable suffocation, and ripping and tearing...

You eventually come to being covered in blood, and taste... Orc flesh in your mouth... Not to mention gore, bodyparts, and a suffocating biker inbetween your breasts... And a bartender with a broken neck in your thighs...

It seems the only survivor was the only lucky enough to be stuck in your breasts, and everyone is erh... Dead. Very dead. Gwynevere seems to be extremely upset, and you blink slowly... And can't help but spit out some flesh. Gross... Yet oddly delicious. But gross all the same.

You are a bit... Confused, to be certain. You do feel very relaxed though. That's good... You guess. Should you be relaxed? Probably not.

Elizabeth now has the mutation Scottish Rage. This is functionally similar to Barbaric, but rather then Renexizious being able to do work although acting like a barbarian, Elizabeth gets as angry and bloodthirsty as a drunk Scot in Glasgow who's just had their wallet stolen from them by a cunt midget.

She can do this twice a day however, and can re-roll failures in combat or other things.

Of course, now you have a bit of a... Suffocating biker problem. You should probably take him out and head upstairs to take out the rest of the gang... As you hear yelling from all the way up there...

Actions

>(Scottish Rage) He'll make a fine bloody example of what happens if they don't get the fuck out of your way! Head up there, get ready to kick ass if needed!
>Calm down, and remove the suffocating biker... You erh... You didn't exactly mean to do that. Besides, you sort of might want to interrogate him, although he does have friends upstairs...
>(Scottish Rage) Finish the fuckwad biker off! Squeeze his head like a fuckin' grape!
>Shapeshift. This form just... It's a little disturbing to be honest.
>Write-In
>>
>>1318965
Also, the rage gives you bonuses to fighting and in addition being in a dwarf form, dragotaur form, or a minotaur form will give you a even bigger bonus.
>>
>>1318965
>(Scottish Rage) Finish the fuckwad biker off! Squeeze his head like a fuckin' grape!

>as a drunk Scot in Glasgow who's just had their wallet stolen from them by a cunt midget.
I don't know why but that made me laugh
>>
Oh, and finally, taking actions that are labeled Scottish Rage prolong Elizabeth's "Scottish" behavior and anger, which gets only more keen if she drinks, gets in a fight, is extremely crude, or otherwise insults people creatively like a true Scot. Oh, and be nationalistic of Scotland.
>>
You squeeze your fucking huge ass boobs as hard as you can, bursting his fucking head like the bawbag the utter piece of fuckin' shit is. You continue your rage upstairs, and see the second story seems to have a door. How fucking cute. Who the bloody fuck thought this shit was going to stop you?

You kick the door right where it's door dick would of fuckin' been and headbutt the top of the doorway, only to see what seems to be a fucking storeroom full of goddamned alcohol, cocaine, marijuana, and God know what the fuck else. A few bikers seem to be taking cocaine in the fucking corner while some poor fuck is shackled to the wall on a pipe. Seems to be one of the fuckin' bikers, or at least was. The bikers in the room turn around, seeing you, clearly high out of their fuckin' minds.

A clearly high orc makes a crude remark for you to "show him the tits or get the fuck out", and the rest of the high and drunk shit-fucks laugh at him like it was fucking funny. You can show them what the fuck is goddamned fucking funny, when you shove their fucking tongue into their eyesockets and send them to a nursery in a goddamned box as a fucking warning sign.

Actions

>Intimidate the shit-for-brains. (Scare them off!)
>...Funny, eh? Fucking funny, to be this explotive to fuckin' women? Show him what the fuck is so funny when you shove your fist so far up his ass you'll teach him what the word "internal hemorrhaging" means! (Fight them.)
>...You need a fuckin' drink from what this daft cuntbag just said to you. Punch the cocksucker and grab the nearest drink. (Prolong the rage and get a +1 bonus due to drinking!)
>Fucking biker gang thinks their tough? Well, these fuckwads couldn't hurt a baby in a crib. In fact, you might as well show them how to BE a fuckin' biker! (...Try to take control of the biker gang?)
>Write-In
>>
>>1319041
>...Funny, eh? Fucking funny, to be this explotive to fuckin' women? Show him what the fuck is so funny when you shove your fist so far up his ass you'll teach him what the word "internal hemorrhaging" means! (Fight them.)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+7 to beat the living shit out of the bikers.

+3 if you can brutally kill the bikers, especially that Orc who just told you to show him your fucking tits. (+1 if you can make a "joke" while killing him brutally. +1 if it's somewhat ironic to what he said.)
+2 if you can use the drugs and alcohol in here to your advantage by either killing them with it, or drinking the shit out of the alcohol somehow.
+1 if after Elizabeth kills them all she can find a way to relax and calm down...
+1 if you can be Gwynevere and beg Elizabeth to calm down and stop.
>>
>>1319076
Oh, and if everything happens autosuccess.
>>
Rolled 17 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1319076
>Liz, please put an end to this. You're suppose to above this. Not even the lowest of British commoners are this insanely violent. And you're a mother of princes and princesses like Charlemagne and Elisif. Think of the children!
>>
>>1319076
for the +3 grab that specific Orc by the skull, pull him into your fist, and gut punch him so hard he pukes, then pull his head towards our tits, so it's the last thing he see's when we rip it clean off his body.

+2 throw the body into the alcohol spilling it everywhere, then when we bash one of the orcs in the head with a metal pipe or slash his helmet with a claw it catches fire, spreads to the weed and other drugs. we literally sling cocaine bags to blind some of the other Orcs.

both plus +1's after the end of the rampage Gwynevere begs Elizabeth to please calm down and that this is beyond horrifying for a good and proper lady to do, and she should calm down by trying to tidy up the mess, so she'll try and gather the orcs in a pile.

is this acceptable for the auto?
>>
Amazing Success!

You of course, grab the orc by the skull, pulling him straight into your fist breaking his nose and two of his teeth, and punch him so hard in the gut he vomits onto the ground... Then while he's still puking, you pull his head towards your tits, and rip it clean off his body, vomit still coming out of the neck hole... And you toss the body into alcohol, smashing a few bottles...

The orcs seem a bit terrified, so you pull a metal pipe out, bashing one of their heads open with it, and slice another one's head into shreds while breathing fire...

The rest of the rampage is mostly a blur, but eventually you calm down with most of the room on fire... And the weed especially...

You feel a bit... Well... Calmer... Sort of... But really anxious... Your hands just can't stop moving, and you swear you see things in the corner of your eyes...

The only person left alive is the terrified biker chained up against the corner, with a fire blazing towards him...

You know, you could try to save him... Maybe get Gwynevere a bit less terrified of you...

Actions

>...Rush in there and try to help him. (Increase the opinion of Gwynevere a bit, and maybe get some information.)
>...Ignore him and save yourself. (Elizabeth might beat herself up later over this, and Gwynevere's opinion will decrease.)
>(Scottish Rage) Who says this bloody fuck is spared? Take care of him too! (Gwynevere's opinion slightly drops, and Elizabeth will not remember any of this at all.)
>Write-In
>>
>>1319141
>...Rush in there and try to help him. (Increase the opinion of Gwynevere a bit, and maybe get some information.)

so, I miss anything good in the homeland of /pol/?
>>
>>1319141
>...Rush in there and try to help him. (Increase the opinion of Gwynevere a bit, and maybe get some information.)
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>1319159
Well, mostly missed the info that the Kobolds have gauss weapons, Drow are fucking with your nation, and other things like that.

You decide to rush in there to help him...

Ignore my roll.
>>
>>1319171
Genocide the elves. for kobolds try and get a hand on a few of their scientist.
>>
>>1319179
To be a bit more specific, the Drow bombed the Kobold embassy in hopes of putting the blame on us (Sweden) and normal elves (The Elven Dominion). They used a bio weapon designed by the gnomes which causes 3 out of 4 Kobolds to die from suffocation. However this is actually easily curable with stuff common in the surface and we made a deal to seal them medicinal stuff.
>>
You rush in, tearing the handcuffs off, and carry him out alive...

Eventually you get outside, and the clubhouse seems on fire... You calm down quite a bit... Why are you covered in blood and vomit?

"P-please! Don't kill me! I-I just joined because they promised they'd leave my mom alone!"

The prisoner you saved seems utterly, and completely terrified of you.

"Hey, it's uh... It's alright... Wait, did you hear that?"

You look around... Your vision is... Really blurry... You can't help but feel hyper. Like you want to do all the things... And you feel like... Super relaxed. It's... It's really nice honestly.

The prisoner eventually realizes you aren't going to hurt him, and you just kinda pause.

"Erh... Are you ok? Your eyes kinda look... Big, I guess?"

"What? Yeah... I just kinda need to... Relax for a moment..."

You sit down not too far, feel relaxed and having more energy then you can deal with. It's like you drank twenty liters of pure sugar or something.

Actions

>...Try to focus. Try to get information out of the guy you saved!
>...Maybe you should relax for a minute or two, get it all out of your system...
>You feel like you have BOUNDLESS energy! Put it to good use or something! Do something!
>You should probably just take a nap for a bit... It's so relaxing, next to a warm fire... Kind of...
>Write-In
>>
>>1319190
oh so to put it clearly, we need to genocide the Drow AND the Gnomes. should we start building the gas chambers first or the Death Squads.

>...Try to focus. Try to get information out of the guy you saved!
>>
>>1319198
>...Try to focus. Try to get information out of the guy you saved!

>>1319203
I don't think any Drow or Gnomes live in our empire so stuff like that would be pretty pointless. Also the stuff we did with the Elves like ghettoes is still kind of hurting us.
>>
>>1319208
well damn, we really need to finish fixing up our country in terms of industry and it's current wars so that we can kill them.

>Elves in Ghettoes.
whats the current plan?
>>
There's a few drow slaves and refugees in your Empire.

You try to focus... God, it's really hard...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to interrogate the biker.

+3 if you can threaten him with the last of your rage.
+2 if towards the end you can just become sweet, and maternal again...
+1 if you can try to mutter out an apology for likely terrifying the shit out of him.
+2 if you can use your assets too, to convince him.

Autosuccess if everything happens.

>>1319203
You have a werewolf right wing deathsquad actually.
>>
Rolled 13 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1319219
Shapeshift into what ever race he is. Then we can better use our assets on him.

>>1319215
Anons have been talking about just undoing stuff we did to the elves so that they like us and become more productive but as with many things, it's been very very slow.
>>
Rolled 20 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1319219
now I have to resist the urge to post the video and spoil the moment when we actually do use them, damnit QM.

>+2 if towards the end you can just become sweet, and maternal again...
Oh sweety, it's alright, i'm not going to bite you, but I need you to be a good boy and tell me what you ca-ca-Achoo! . . pardon me! *giggle* what you can about those mean nasty bikers.

. . . don't judge me.
>>
Critical Success!

You can't help but... Feel relaxed... Calm...

You stretch a bit to avoid closing your eyes.

"Oh sweety... It's alright... I wouldn't bite you... Just be a good boy and tell me... Tell me..."

You sneeze a bit.

"O-oh, pardon me..." You can't help but giggle towards the end while you pet his soft little cute hair...

"Just... Oh... Tell me about those nasty bikers if you can, please..."

"O-Oh... Erh..."

"Pretty please sweetie?"

You give the most kind, reassuring look you can in your dragotaur form... Slowly your energy just seems to be transferred to kind of just wanting to sleep a bit... So weird...

"I-I was a courier for their delivery service, alright? I-I accidentally caught on to the drug trade they were doing and they were going to starve me to death..."

"Oh, you poor little thing... I should get you some food..." You giggle slightly... He reminds you of one of your kids... Odah... He's so sweet when he's not arguing with his other head... What was his name again? You forget...

Either way, you give the man a great big crushing hug.

"...Come on dear, you can tell your mother anything... Just go ahead, mama's here..."

"W-what?"

You sneeze, and giggle maniacally for a minute...

"I-I erh... I uh... Thank you?"

"Oh don't worry sweetie... I'll make you bacon sandwiches when we get home..."

"Erh... I-I uh... Well, I kind of found out who they uh... Who they sold and got their drugs from... I mean, it's pretty huge, alright? But I'm not saying anything unless you promise me I'll be safe, alright?"

You begin to stand up, laughing a bit like it was a joke, while you cradle him in your arms.

"Oh, you'll be so safe with me... I can't believe you'd think you wouldn't be safe with your new mom..."

The guy is creeped out at this point, but you can barely think.

"...I-I just want to go home goddamn it."

You tsk slightly, and remind him cursing is bad... So of course, you walk to his apartment... Even Gwynevere is a bit loopy.

When Elizabeth is high on marijuana, it seems she's either very maternal, laughs a lot and thinks everything is a joke, or both. She does seem to be very calmed though.

Eventually you get to his apartment, and rest on the bed... You should probably take a bath. Eh. That can come in a bit, after you learn about whatever antics he's been up to...

He tells you a bit about how the Russians are involved with the cartel and supply them with drugs from Siberia, and how they sell it to a few Governor Generals and a surprising amount of public officials... And how the Russians have been bribing police officers very effectively since they've become half-dragons since they need more money to live and "like shiny stuff a lot". Not to mention there's an entire underground Russian Mafia in the Empire that's expanded all the way to Germany!

It's fascinating, honestly...

On the next national action, Elizabeth can now "purge corruption" for free which will greatly reduce corruption throughout the Empire.
>>
After hearing this, you think about what to do...

Actions

>...Take a bath... You have to write one of those fancy letters and take it to the courthouse and tell the judge stuff so he accepts it... You probably should look and smell good and not like vomit and blood. (Also might sober Elizabeth up.)
>...Just make some bacon sandwiches, coddle the obvious child for a bit, and get some sleep...
>(As Gwynevere), Try to break Elizabeth out of whatever she's been doing! She's probably high or something... No wonder she's acting loopy! (HARD to sober up Elizabeth.)
>...Maybe you should... Well, maybe you should make sure that biker gang's taken out of commission... Ask the man so polite enough to invite you into their home if there's any other biker stuff you need to take care of...
>Go visit that detective guy at midnight! He'd be so happy to hear you took care of that cartel, oh he's such a cute little puppy, yes he is... Aw, he'd be so cute if you bought him a toy to play with too... (Optional if you actually want to buy the adorable serious werewolf doggo a toy.)
>Write-In
>>
>>1319313
>...Take a bath... You have to write one of those fancy letters and take it to the courthouse and tell the judge stuff so he accepts it... You probably should look and smell good and not like vomit and blood. (Also might sober Elizabeth up.)
>>
>>1319313
>>...Take a bath... You have to write one of those fancy letters and take it to the courthouse and tell the judge stuff so he accepts it... You probably should look and smell good and not like vomit and blood. (Also might sober Elizabeth up.)

NEVER DO GOVERNMENT BUISNESS WHILE HIGH! ONLY MAYORS CAN PULL THAT SHIT OFF!
>>
File: Rob Ford.jpg (387 KB, 2000x1000)
387 KB
387 KB JPG
>>1319330
True that
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5 to CLEAN OFF!
And maybe get a little less high.

+3 if Elizabeth can find ways to clean the blood and vomit off her body. (+1 if she can find a way to clean off the sensitive breasts as well.)
+2 if she can complain about all this blood and the... Vomit on her. Why is there vomit on her breasts? Gross.
+2 if she can slowly come out of her maternal state a bit, and start to realize where she is and that she's basically sleeping with a complete stranger tonight.
+2 if she can overlook going into a human sized tub in her dragotaur form, and the possible damages that might ensue from that.

Autosuccess if that all happens, and Elizabeth can think about adorable werewolf doggos and how cute they are. She's practically in a city with a bunch of them.
>>
Rolled 5 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1319348
>Oh my. All this Mongolian blood and vomit on my bosom, how gross.
Orcs come from Central Asia right.
>>
Rolled 18 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>1319348
+4she is so grossed out by the vomit on her breast and the blood which absolutely does not belong on the body of a noblewoman that she couldn't give a damn about the commoners tub.

+3by scavenging around the bathroom for some hair products used by the wolves, use those on the fur portions, alternating hot and cold water to freeze and melt the puke accordingly to make it easier to target and remove respectively.

"Disgusting! I swear there better be a good damn reason i'm covered in the filth of those disgusting greenskin barbarians! ugh! and why is it so sticky! The hell is wrong with the shit that comes out of Orcs!"
>>
Good Success!

You successfully clean up, but sadly the commoner's tub is grossly bent, destroyed, and the floor suffers from some water damage... Though luckily you seem clean, and smell... Alright.

With that done, you decide to just sleep on the couch... It's already awkward as it is, being in a stranger's home.

You eventually wake up in the morning, in your dragotaur form... You know, you should probably write that pardon now...

As you get up, you hear the man you rescued apparently eating cereal... He seems to be a older-aged teenager apparently... And erh... Seems to have been staring at your breasts. He quickly looks away once you get up though.

"Uh, hi. Is your little maternal thing over?"

You just shake your head as you look around, and note a lack of paper... Or pens.

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see how well you can write that pardon.

+3 if you can think about how to make it official looking... Even if you lack a stamp or anything like that.
+2 if you can think about what form to deliver this in.
+2 if you can chastise him for staring at your assets... How rude! (+1 if you can slightly use them so he'll go out and get you some things you might need...)
+1 if you can comment on your maternal nature last night to the older-aged teen.
>>
Rolled 17 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1319426
>>
Back, sorry.

If anons want to do two of the +2, or the +3 and +1 bonuses, then it'll be a high enough success that you'll skip talking to the judge.
>>
>>1319479
We should deliver it in human form seeing as that the most unassuming or neutral form. Alternatively we could deliver it in Half-Dragon form since they seem to be higher up on the social chain and probably more respected.

>You ought to be ashamed for looking at me the way you do. You may be a young man but a man nonetheless and proper gentlemen are suppose to be respectful towards any guests and not just ogle at their physical features.
>>
>>1319426
+3 mark it with our signature and an address to contact invoice to the royal family in order to confirm it's authenticity.

Deliver it in a mostly Dragon form.
>>
You of course, go down and deliver the royal pardon in a human form, but before you go, you chastise him quite thoroughly.

With all that done, you head back to the werewolf detective...

You of course, mention the royal pardon part... And mention the slight... Massacre you did to the bikers.

"What? You? Massacring a orc cartel biker gang? I heard from a rumor that you had a habit of literally babying people and treating them like children."

He seems a bit shocked at this, and clearly doesn't exactly seem to believe that you were behind the massacre at the clubhouse.

Actions

>...Mention how you can bring a witness, if he so wants.
>...Quickly move on. You'd rather forget that already.
>...I do not baby people! God, why do people think that? I just treat my kids like little babies, alright?
>...Can we just go investigate the mansion now? I got everything done.
>Write-In
>>
>>1319514
>Write-In
"a queen will do what she must to ensure the safety and well being of her people against the violence and depravity of organized criminal elements, even if it means getting her hands dirty."

>...Can we just go investigate the mansion now? I got everything done.


>...Mention how you can bring a witness, if he so wants.
>>
>>1319514
>...Can we just go investigate the mansion now? I got everything done.
>>
"Well, a Queen will do what she must to ensure the safety and well being of her people against the violence and depravity of organized criminal elements. Even if it means getting her hands dirty. If you so desire, I can bring a witness. But I've gotten everything done, so let's go investigate the mansion."

"You sure?"

"Yes. I am."

You follow him to his car, and get in beside him.

"...So, you want a revolver? I got plenty of them from scumbags like that Cartel."

"...I'd like to know why you have two revolvers... It seems a bit... Unwarranted."

"Ambidextrous, like most werewolves. Besides, looks good for the dames... No offense."

"None taken... But how do you..."

"What? Fast reflexes, and also a gun smith of mine customized it a bit so I could dual wield it."

"...It seems highly impractical."

"Well, you like being a spoilsport about interesting guns, don't you? Next thing you know you'll get on my case about drinking or smoking!"

Actions

>...I'll take the revolver, I suppose...
>...I'm perfectly fine. I can use much more... Lethal forms.
>...Show him how strong you can actually be. Shift to a more powerful form.
>Critizie him for dual-wielding revolvers like a jackass and like he's a movie hero or something.
>Write-in
>>
>>1319550
>Critizie him for dual-wielding revolvers like a jackass and like he's a movie hero or something.

as someone who does very light /k/ browsing I have been triggered.
>>
>>1319550
>>Critizie him for dual-wielding revolvers like a jackass and like he's a movie hero or something.
>>
"...You dual wield revolvers?"

"Yes."

"...You are retarded."

"You're no fun. Besides, once you get enough practice i-"

"Stop. Your embarrassing yourself."

He growls softly.

"Why does EVERYONE say that? And fuck you, you aren't getting my revolver."

"How many revolvers do you have?"

"...Sixteen?"

"Just drive."

"What?"

"You have... Sixteen revolvers on you."

"Well, yes... Some people say it's a problem, but honestly I don't see what they're talking about."

That would explain the strange bulges beneath his jacket. And the many holsters under it.

"You need help. Now, can we go?"

"Fine..."

He begins to drive you to the mansion.

"...Besides, in all honesty the only thing that you can rely on to stop a angry werewolf either a very, very strong taser or a high-powered revolver. Which I carry many of."

Actions

>Come on, you don't need that much stopping power.
>...Why did I help you again?
>...Well, I'm sure Renexizious's police do an adequate job.
>...Can I please have one revolver?
>Quick question... Are werewolves actually weak against silver?
>Write-In
>>
>>1319561
>Quick question... Are werewolves actually weak against silver?
>>
>>1319561
>Quick question... Are werewolves actually weak against silver?
>...Can I please have one revolver?
>>
1- what is the Caliber of his Revolvers.
2- if werewolves are weak to silver they can be simply put down with semi automatics or smaller caliber revolvers,
3- Duel wielding anything that isn't a machinegun for anything besides suppressing fire is absolutely the dumbest thing you can do in a combat situation, especially with a precision firearm like a revolver.
>>
"So quick question... Are werewolves actually weak against silver?"

"Depends on who you ask. It's life-threatening to most... Though some people just have it like a mild allergy. Really fucks with us too, can't really have wounds for us get healed though. Silver bullets fuck that all up, but most of us can take a regular bullet and in a year you won't even feel the bullet mark."

"So normal bullets don't do much?"

"Eh. You take buckshot to the face, your dead. But a revolver round or two to the shoulder? You can walk that off... So long as you can stop the bleeding. We recover faster then most."

"Ah... So what caliber are your revolvers?"

"Mostly .455 Webley."

"So if werewolves are weak to silver, why don't you use a normal gun?"

"...Really? Yeah, I'll take a assault rifle on my next investigation... Gotta get that vibe of "home invasion" going. I'd stick with my concealed revolvers, thanks. And no, smaller caliber revolvers don't mean shit against a werewolf. A silver bullet won't mean it'll drop like a fly, it just means that you poisoned it and that wound won't close up for a damned long time. That's why you need stopping power."

"...So you dual-wield revolvers."

"...Let me just tell you that typically accuracy doesn't matter. When it does, you won't see me fucking trying to dual wield and fire. It's goddamned hard to miss a werewolf, let me tell you. And it's not my job to be a bounty hunter, I'm in the business of being a detective, not a gottdamned gunslinger."

You shake your head in disapproval as he pulls up to the mansion.

"Right... We're here. Now follow me."

The two of you get out, and you see a large abandoned mansion.

"So, you want to lead or want me to lead?"

Actions

>You can lead, thank you very much...
>...I'd rather lead.
>...Shapeshift to a different form?
>Can I please have that revolver?
>Write-In
>>
>>1319592
>...I'd rather lead.
>...Shapeshift to a different form?

something stronger. maybe the dragotaur if we can avoid wrecking our clothing, if not we'll go as we are.
>>
>>1319592
>You can lead, thank you very much...
>...Shapeshift to a different form?
Dwarves are sturdy and harder targets to hit. We can just stay behind and cast healing magic on him like a skrub.
>>
>>1319597
Dragotaur won't damage your clothes due... Magical bullshit, I guess.
>>
>>1319603
I say front, I like the idea of a noblewoman who gets shit done and still behaves like a lady.
>>
So do anons want to be the heal slut or be the glorious meatshield?
>>
>>1319629
hmn, is our revolver monkey one of those trash werewolves or can he actually take a few shots? i'll take heal slut if he can survive a decent amount of damage.
>>
>>1319630
He can take a few shots like a normal person. Don't expect him to take a shotgun blast or anything severe though. Even a single gunshot is liable to kill.
>>
>>1319632
glorious meatshield, excuse me while I tell off a shill in trump gen.
>>
>>1319632
I'll go with being a meatshield
>>
>>1319636
>salutes externally
Awoo Squad deployed.

You decide to be a meatshield... As in a dragotaur. The meatiest of meatshields.

You of course head in front of him, and into the mansion...

As you enter the front room... It seems a lot more fancy then the outside... Freshly cleaned red carpet, a warm fireplace... Someone's living here and taking care of it.

There's a grand staircase heading up, what seems to be a living room going straight forward, two rooms to the left and right... This room seems to have a lot of greek statues, and clearly smells of the upper class no doubt...

You note there's a small red chair with a martini on a stand next to it beside the grand staircase, like someone was drinking not too long ago.

What do?

Actions

>Head upstairs!
>Head left!
>Head right!
>Head into the living room?
>Investigate the room your in a bit?
>Write-In
>>
>>1319641
>Investigate the room your in a bit?
Can the detective sniff it out and track it like a bloodhound. It might sound stereotypical but it makes sense for him.
>>
>>1319641
>Head upstairs!
Martini by the stairs indicates someone's here, it would be better to get to them first than vice versa.
>>
Would anons like to split up?
>>
>>1319646
Sure
>>
>>1319646
ok.

I swear the shilling got worse once the CIA were revealed to be the shills and bronyfaggots.
>>
You head upstairs while the detective sniffs the martini... He follows it, and the two of you split up...

You head upstairs and see two doors... One seems to be locked, so you follow the other one...

You come to what seems to be a dinning room... Nothing really seems to be there... But you smell a great amount of food coming from the kitchen. You peek in to see quite a bit of food being prepared... Or was being prepared. And what seems to be a paper set out...

It seems to be entirely meat... Venison, steak, you name it. It smells delicious. It's mostly been cooked rare, with only one strip of ribs having been cooked above that.

Actions

>...Taste the food?
>...Read the paper.
>...Investigate the next room.
>...Try to meet back up with the detective?
>Write-in
>>
>>1319656
>...Read the paper.
>>
>>1319656
>...Read the paper.
>...Investigate the next room.
Cannibal.
>>
>>1319660
You'd be able to tell if it was human meat. None if it is, it's just animal meat.

You read the paper.

Next time you set up dinner, please set out more napkins for the guests. It save you time, and saves the boss time as well!

Well, that's rather vague.

You move into the next room... It seems to be locked, with only a slit in the door... Which also is locked. The door itself is made of metal however.

Actions

>...Break the door down. It'll take some effort though.
>...See about heading downstairs.
>...Knock on the door?
>Write-in
>>
>>1319667
>Write-in
now find the detective. we will see what he found and go back up.
>>
>>1319669
This
>>
>>1319667
>animal meat.
>in a setting with werewolves.
>expecting anons to fall for that one.

QM. . i
>>
You go to find the detective...

You find him standing over a... Heavily brutalized pair of skeletons... Quite old apparently. That or something stripped all the flesh off them. They're remarkably white skeletons though.

"Dead... For how long, I don't know. Blood's dried on the carpet... Ribs crushed and the spine was torn. Something very, very heavy attacked these two. Both are human, by the way."

"So something large ran into them?"

"Judging from it, I'd say punched hard enough to break their spinal cord from the front. Whatever it was has an excessive amount of force... Though judging from the lack of any other physical marks, left quickly... Might of come back though. Now, if you look carefully, these two men were holding sub-machine guns, Tommy guns to be specific... And if you look at where they fired, there's no bullet holes. So whatever the fuck killed them is big as well. So likely speaking, this isn't actually their blood..."

"What do you mean?"

"It's most likely whatever this thing's blood is. Course, I have no idea what that is. Looks a bit darker then most dried blood stains I've seen..."

"So your telling me..."

"Very likely they just suffocated to death since their lungs were completely fucked."

Actions

>...Well, let's look deeper.
>...I think this place is still inhabited...
>...I'm going back upstairs.
>...I think we should just leave.
>Great. So we have a giant thing trying to kill us.
>Write-In
>>
>>1319688
>...Well, let's look deeper.

Calling it now. Vampires with at least one vampire Minotaur who killed these guys who were the previous owners.
>>
>>1319692
this and maybe. also tell him we are not alone in this building.

>Write-In
take a mommygun. no that was not a typo.
>>
Let's look at some stuff about Hansodr.
>Lots of smog which blocks out the sun
>Lots of catholic style cathedrals
>Lots of werewolves which have Catholics connotations
>A crime scene in a mansion with lots of blood

Hmmmm...
>>
vampire's, literal oven dodgers of the setting. lmao.
>>
>>1319699
It all makes sense. Hansodr could be a breeding ground for a cult of vampires and the recent werewolf disappearances are from vampires killing werewolves who were close to finding the truth and vampire vs werewolves may-mays like twilight cancer. This presumably gothic style mansion is no doubt their base of operations. Maybe my rambling of vampires has given the QM a new idea
>>
You take the tommy gun.

"Don't think we're alone in here... Let's just look deeper though."

"Ja."

You head deeper... You come across a door which you open to reveal... What seems to be stairs going down.

"Ladies first." He says, as he holds the door open for you.

"Thank you..."

You say, as you descend. You hear something in the ventilation, and a squeak... Of a rat.

God, not rats. At least it's not spiders...

"What's wrong, princess? Scared of squeaks?"

"What? No. Just... Not used to basements."

"Sure, sure. Take your time."

You continue on... Making sure to look down to avoid stepping on... Rat feces or rats...

God, why did it have to be rats...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to investigate the basement.

+3 if you can find a way to look out for rats, rat feces, and otherwise avoid stepping in anything.
+2 if you can poke some fun at the detective.
+2 if you can find a way to light the basement up so it's easier to see.
+1 if you can take bet at what killed them.
>>
Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1319705
It was vampires. That means there has to be coffins lying around somewhere.
>>
File: this girl is on fire.jpg (12 KB, 300x196)
12 KB
12 KB JPG
>>1319714
. . . . pffffffffffffft. Anon, I think you have a small problem there.
>>
18+6=24

Good Success!

You eventually feel up against the wall having run out of options in the basement, which turns out to be a fancy wine cellar... Of course, you open what seems to be a hidden door in one of the wine kegs...

On the other side seems to be metal flooring, a sort of "industrial" feel so to speak. You and the detective head into the other side and...

Well, you see what seems to be a sort of door... A metallic door, barred shut and with enough steel to maybe even put your strength to the test... The windows on the other hand...

You smash through them easily and climb into the other side... The lights in whatever this place is flicker, power clearly failing... You see what seems to be a desk with a old journal ontop of it...

Though you smell... Something coming from the back room behind a closed door... It smells old. Though there's another sealed door leading further into whatever this place was.

Actions

>...Investigate the back room.
>Read the journal?
>Head deeper!
>Write-In
>>
>>1319719
>pick up Journal for later, Investigate Back room.
>>
>>1319719
>Read the journal?
>...Investigate the back room.

I know I should be going to sleep but this is too suspenseful.
>>
You decide to poke through the journal a bit, and investigate the back room.

Here's what the first entry in the journal says. It seems to lack dates...

Laboratory set up thanks to my client's contacts. I've been given a small armed guard and a few associate researchers... They look quite pale and have that weird thing the guards also have when you look into their eyes... I'm not questioning my client's choice in guards, but I don't know if they're taking drugs or not... Look into this at a later date maybe, but my client has been extremely interested in my theories regarding brain activity being numbed while watching media outlets. He's basically paying me to have some people to watch TV. It's a great position honestly.

You flip to the next page.

Wow... Apparently the associate researchers aren't supposed to help me, but apparently after I'm done with the whole "numbing" theory process I'm supposed to send the subject to them. Strange, but I'm not complaining. What's the worst that could happen?

You can't help but flip to the next entry.

Well... Erh, subject 001 has finally come back from upstairs... The guards apparently don't really like me going up there... Kind of makes me feel like I'm a hostage or something... But the subject isn't exactly in his talkative state... I mean, I get he wasn't talkative at first, seeing as how he was recruited from a prison, but he just gives me this blank stare and a snarl whenever I give him his lunch rations... He suddenly just hates me. It's strange...

Actions

>Look into this journal further?
>Go into the back room.
>Continue on!
>Write-In
>>
>>1319732
>Go into the back room.
>>
>>1319732
>Go into the back room.
>>
You head into the back room...

You unlock the door, and notice inside the... Remains of what seems to be the scientist. He has clearly died from malnourishment, and has a large hole in his head where his brain should be... Which is missing.

Great.

Actions

>Poke around his body some more?
>...Leave. Nothing worth looking at in here...
>...Well, I think we should probably head back to the office.
>Write-In
>>
>>1319744
>Poke around his body some more?
Examine his corpse
>>
>>1319746
Still think it's vampires? I think it's another monster that belongs in an oven. Mindflayers.
>>
You poke around his body some more...

You hear a slight... Tick, so to speak...

Roll me a 1d20+2 to dodge a trap anons.

+3 if you can find a way to either tank the trap or somehow dodge it.
>>
Rolled 12 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1319759
Charging through a wall with our massive Minotaur body could work, make sure we take the PI with us.
>>
12+5=17

Minor Success!

You hear the tick, grab the detective, and bolt out of the room... The room is instantly consumed in fire as soon as you get out.

"Well, thanks... And thanks for the view."

"Oh shut it you."

"Hey, I'm not complaining here..."

You shake your head and put him down.

"Now, why don't we move along? Doubt anything's left in there."

"Right, got it."

You move along to the sealed doors and open them easily with some force... Doesn't seem like it was meant to withstand a dragotaur. Both of you head in, though you find it hard to fit...

This is of course when you come across what seems to be a... Large hallway. Filled with dead bodies. Quite literally, the floor is made of dead bodies in various states of decomposition. You count at least 20... And you hear insects crawling around all over... Disgusting. Remarkably there seems to be no blood.

Actions

>Go over the dead bodies...
>...This is a bit conspicuous... Try throwing something at them.
>Tell the Investigator to go first?
>...Shoot them? They might be guards or something... Unlikely.
>Fire Breath. It's going to take a bit to travel back through, but no insects and no bodies...
>Write-In
>>
>>1319797
>...This is a bit conspicuous... Try throwing something at them.

Maybe one of he detectives excess revolvers.
>>
You of course, reach inside the jacket of the werewolf and throw one of his excess revolvers... It does nothing but put a slight dent in the head of one of the bodies.

"Hey! I need those!"

He goes over and picks up his revolver... You however, hear a... Chittering sort of sound... The bodies on the ground begin to sort of vibrate, and a swarm of... Oh god, thousands of spiders just pour out of it, hundreds of thousands and hundreds... It's terrifying!

The detective however, just seems a bit confused.

"What the hell did you throw my revolver at a can for?"

[/i]THOSE AREN'T CANS THOSE ARE PEOPLE! OH GOD![/i] You think internally, completely and utterly terrified of what the hell is going on and why the fuck there's spiders and holy shit you need to just get the hell out of this place.

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if Elizabeth can try to keep it all together.

+2 if Elizabeth can try to fight back against the spider horde...
+2 if Elizabeth can try to think more calming thoughts and try to think of a better place than this.
+1 if Elizabeth can yell desperately for the detective to help! (+1 if the detective can try to snap Elizabeth out of it.)
>>
Rolled 7 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

+2 Elizabeth uses flamethrower.
>>
Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1319814
Ah, so it pperantly wasn't vampires.
>>
14+5=19

Success!

In a panic, you use your flame breath setting the floor alight. This startles the werewolf.

"What the hell are you doing?"

You notice the spiders begin to melt away, along with the bodies... It just kind of seems like they were actually just cans...

"I erh... I just... I thought I saw a spider."

"Jesus, remind me to stay a... Away..."

He coughs at the smoke the fires are putting up, so you makre sure to put it out with your frost breath.

"Now, you ready?"

"Yeah...."

You continue down the hallway... You see a metal door on your left, and the detective seems a bit curious... He begins to unlock it.

"What are you doing?"

"Just putting some training to work... I'm wondering on what's on the other side."

"Oh."

You idly wait until you hear him open the door, and peek into the room...

It seems to be a more comfortable room, wooden actually. There's a TV, a light, a nice bed, along with a fridge and a table and chair. A sort of guest room... But why the hell would there be a guest room down here?

You however, notice that the TV seems to be on... And someone's sitting in the chair, watching it... A gruzzled man with a blank stare, His eyes look dark and cloudy, and he turns for a second to acknowledge your presence before going back to watching the TV, which seems to just be the weather channel.

There seems to be a tube in his arm, sort of like an IV tube. Maybe it's giving this man nutrients and water?

"Well... Alright... I think this is a bit... Strange..."

The werewolf seems clearly uncomfortable, and opens his trenchcoat up a bit further.

Actions

>Try to get the man watching the TV to... Well, stop.
>Pull the tube out of his arm?
>...Turn the TV off?
>Just.. . Well, leave this man alone...
>...Put the man out of his misery? It'd be a kindness...
>Write-in
>>
>>1320211
Read more of the journal we found
>>
You decide to read more of the journal you've found, so you begin to read it on the room's table...

As you flip to the page after the one you were reading, it seems that... Well, it seems blank for some reason.

But... You could of swore that the journal had at least thirty more pages left.

This is getting awfully weird.

Actions

>...Maybe you should turn back. This is all a bit too much.
>...Ask the Detective if he can read anything?
>...Toss the journal away.
>...Maybe tear out the pages or something?
>>
>>1320276
>...Ask the Detective if he can read anything?
>>
"Detective... Can you read anything on this?"

"Erh... It's just blank. What do you want me to read?"

Great, so you aren't hallucinating.

The man watching the TV looks to the side, clearly annoyed by your talking, and shushes you. He goes back to watching the TV.

It seems like talking around him agitates him for whatever reason.

Actions

>...Just leave.
>Ask the detective to try and investigate the man?
>...Try to talk to the man?
>Turn off the TV?
>Change channels on the TV?
>Write-in
>>
>>1320317
>...Try to talk to the man?
>>
You try to talk to the man, but he just seems annoyed...

Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if you can get the man's attention.

+3 if you can annoy him even more somehow.
+2 if you can use your assets to draw his attention.
+2 if you can use your great strength to make him focus on you.
+1 if you can be intimidating towards him.
>>
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1320348
>>
Allowing samefagging if you can intimidate him to look towards you, and get his attention somehow.
>>
Rolled 16 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1320348
>>
16+2=18

Success!

You poke the man on the shoulders.

"Hello? Sir?"

He looks towards you, annoyed, and says something in absolute gibberish.

"Can he not speak Swedish?"

"That's not a language I've ever heard. Hang on..."

He takes out a small photo, and looks closely.

"Wait a minute... This was one of the disappearances! A Michael Ivoson, if I remember... Human male, about twenty years old. Went missing a month ago."

"So this is him?"

"Yeah... Now, I gotta get this guy out of here."

"Really?"

"My job's to find where these people have gone miss. Though why is he just ignoring us?"

The TV suddenly changes to static, with a strange purple glow... Sort of saying something, you think.

His eyes turn from being clouded to... Glowing slightly purple. The detective peeks over.

"That's erh... That's not really good." He says.

Actions

>...Wait and see what happens to the subject?
>...You need to get out. This is bad. Glowing eyes and strange signals from the TV are bad.
>...Maybe there's something in the static you aren't seeing? Watch it for a moment, or get the detective to watch it.
>...You need to save this man from this place. Either grab him to haul him out or convince him to come with you?
>Write-In

Quick question, how am I doing so far on suspense and mystery?
>>
>>1320406
>...Wait and see what happens to the subject?

I think it's going good so far. Although I will say it was probably more suspenseful last night when it was like midnight for me and when there were thunderstorms.
>>
>>1320406
>Write-In
>Kick in the TV.

Doing good, out of curiosity did your wrap up Werewolf Reich or just can it?
>>
>>1320431
It turned into faggotry, so I canned it. I might continue it but I'm not sure.
>>
So do anons want to kick in the TV or watch and wait?
>>
>>1320433
Meh. Still Lovin EDQ so far.
>>
>>1320435
Kick in the tv.

Also
>NEQ/WRQ has been dead since November
Time really flys by
>>
You decide to kick in the TV.

The TV breaks easily, and the subject eyes blink slowly... He seems a bit... Off.

"Oh, my god. Did you just break that TV?" He says, with a rather annoying and feminine tone.

The detective seems highly confused.

"Erh... This doesn't sound like him in the slightest."

"Really?"

"I had a voice tape of him. Sounded a lot more masculine."

"God, you are suuuuch a bitch, you know? I was watching MY programs..." He says with a large amount of exaggeration. You note he's erh... Well, African as well. Black skin, that sort of thing.

He of course, seems to greatly dislike you, and turns around to see the detective.

"Oh, heeeeey cutie, what'cha doin' here?"

The detective seems extremely uncomfortable.

"...Erh... I don't know if this is Michael Ivoson... He had a girlfriend, that sort of thing."

"Oh, girls are soooo last year. Guys are the new things. And I AM Michael Ivoson."

"Why are you so... Homosexual in intent?"

"Oh, that TV was soooo convincing honestly, I think I found the new me! Which is like, way better! You know?"

The detective looks towards you.

"...Do you want to carry him out of here? Please?"

Actions

>Detective, honestly... I've been doing a lot of work here. I think you should carry him out.
>I guess I can carry him.
>...Why don't we just... Forget about him, so to speak?
>...Is there any sanatoriums nearby for people like him? Just curious.
>...I think the TV messed with his brain somehow.
>Write-in
>>
>>1320489
>...I think the TV messed with his brain somehow.
Subliminal messaging?
>>
>>1320489
>...Is there any sanatoriums nearby for people like him? Just curious.
Gas chambers suddenly sound like a worthy investment now.
>>
>>1320489
>...I think the TV messed with his brain somehow.

Preheat that oven, we're going to tear apart this building and those running it. Nobody turns out citizens faggot.
>>
"I think the TV messed with his brain... But is there any sanatoriums nearby for him?"

"For the black gay kid? I don't fucking know, and his family offered a reward of three-hundred marks if I did find the kid. I'd like that money, personally. Besides, we can decide what to do with him once we get out of here."

Actions

>Grab him and haul him on your back? He might annoy you though.
>...Detective, why don't you carry him?
>Write-In
>>
>>1320515
>Grab him and haul him on your back? He might annoy you though.
Those that bring harm to our civilians are to breakthrough with
>>
>>1320515
>Grab him and haul him on your back? He might annoy you though.

Find something to shut his mouth like rope or knock him out. After this however we should take him to Rens laboratory to diagnose him.
>>
>>1320515
>Grab him and haul him on your back? He might annoy you though.

Mike Pence, if your lurking, how many volts?
>>
>>1320526
Enough to deep fry him anon.

You decide to carry him on your back.

He is very, very annoying, as he makes rude remarks about how "You look like a slut."

God, why did you have to carry him...

You eventually head deeper into the laboratory, and see a door similar to the one Michael was in... Although you could continue down.

Actions

>Have the detective unlock the door to this room and see who's inside?
>Continue on...
>Try small talk with the detective.
>Try to get Michael to shut up...
>Write-In
>>
Public Service Announcement
https://youtu.be/fXxe897bW-A

>>1320534
>Have the detective unlock the door to this room and see who's inside?
>>
>>1320534
>Have the detective unlock the door to this room and see who's inside?

We're going to have to cure a lot of literal faggotry by the end of this aren't we?
>>
>>1320541
Sweet.
>>
"Hey, detective. Unlock the door."

"Got it."

He begins to unlock it, and you head inside...

When you head inside you see a werewolf staring at the TV, sitting in a chair... The TV seems to be giving his eyes a similar purple glow.

"That's erh, Hendrik Dahlgren. I think... Yeah, looks like him, I think. Engineer at Panzer Corp, has a wife and two kids. Registered member of the fascist party, and has a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering. Smart guy from what I hear."

Actions

>...Turn the TV off this time?
>Destroy the TV!
>...Why not try to free him from the chair first?
>Write-In
>>
>>1320574
>...Turn the TV off this time?
>>
>>1320574

>...Turn the TV off this time?
>>
>>1320574
Shut it off.
>>
You turn off the TV.

"Well, that was ea-"

The werewolf eyes suddenly turn dark red. Then the glow vanishes.

He slumps into the chair, and the tube disconnects from him, and you notice he sort of... Just stays there. Not moving. Not responding.

"How long has been missing?"

"Six months, I think."

The detective goes up to him, and tries to hear his heart.

"He's still alive... But he's... I think he went brain dead. Not responding to anything, but he's watching me move my hand."

"Really?"

"...Whatever those fucking TVs are, they're goddamned terrifying me."

Actions

>...See if Gwynevere will do healing magic on the brain-dead werewolf?
>Let's just move on deeper into this place.
>This is creeping me out... This is like someone's doing an experiment about brain washing or something.
>I think we should maybe go...
>Write-In
>>
>>1320611
>This is creeping me out... This is like someone's doing an experiment about brain washing or something.

>...See if Gwynevere will do healing magic on the brain-dead werewolf?
>>
>>1320611
>...See if Gwynevere will do healing magic on the brain-dead werewolf?
>>
>>1320611
>This is creeping me out... This is like someone's doing an experiment about brain washing or something.


>...See if Gwynevere will do healing magic on the brain-dead werewolf?

if that fails try necrotic healing
>>
Gwynevere? Can you do some he-

Fuck off, I'm not in the mood...

Oh. Right. Gwynevere's angry at you.

Great. You even hear her choke up a little.

I just wanted you to stop acting so motherly and the next thing I know you murder an entire bar of p-p-people! Jesus Elizabeth! What the hell's gotten into you? Y-you even f-f-forced me to... To eat someone's heart, and you used our breasts to suffocate people and you ate one guy's torso and... God, I want to go home and just... Just drink some tea and try to forget...

Actions

>...Try to comfort and calm Gwynevere? She's really sensitive about this.
>...Please don't cry at least, ok?
>Gwynevere, there's someone that could use your help right now. Someone who's brain-dead. Can you please help him?
>...I'm sorry, alright?
>...Well, you have to admit it was quite fun...
>What, so I can't use my breasts as weapons? Wow, thanks.
>Write-In
>>
>>1320654
>...Try to comfort and calm Gwynevere? She's really sensitive about this.
>What, so I can't use my breasts as weapons? Wow, thanks.
>>
>>1320654
>Gwynevere, there's someone that could use your help right now. Someone who's brain-dead. Can you please help him?
>...I'm sorry, alright?

In the opposite order.
>>
>>1320654
>...I'm sorry, alright?
>Gwynevere, there's someone that could use your help right now. Someone who's brain-dead. Can you please help him?
Using your boobs as weapons is creepy as fuck
>>
>>1320672
You say creepy I say comedic
>>
I say awesome and arousing but only works for the more outlandish settings.
>>
Listen, i"m sorry alright? But there's someone that could use your help right now... Someone who's brain dead. Can you please help him?

...I-I guess... B-but just please don't kill anyone else, alright?

What, so no using my boobs as weapons?

P-please don't remind me... They're supposed to be for helping people and making them happy, not suffocating people with.

Well, it's probably a good way to go, to be fair.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if Gwynevere's breath can heal.

+2 if Gwynevere can try to be gentle, nice, and kind to the brain dead werewolf. And the investigator. (+1 if she can warn him about Elizabeth and if she can be upset about the "incident" so to speak.
+2 if Elizabeth can try to apologize better.
+1 if Elizabeth can think if having a pacifist for a headmate is a good or bad thing.
>>
Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1320692
Having a headmate like Gwynevere is definitely a good thing. She acts as a lynchpin of relative sanity and her personality is good enough, not being outlandish.
>>
Allowing samefagging if Elizabeth can apologize better or Gwynevere can try to be nice to the brain dead werewolf and investigator.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>1320739
>I'm sorry Gwynevere. It's just that my life can be so stressful. I always have to put up with Ren and his stupid, lustfull shenanigans and after realizing how brainwashed I was in being a mother things I felt kind of bitter. Me killing those bikers was like me relieving stress.
>>
>Inb4 Liz starts blaming ren constantly for everything
>>
Inb4 Liz starts trying to lock down Rens John.
>>
Daily reminder we STILL haven't launched our rocket
>>
>>1320794
It's time for a royal baby. The prince who will purge those shekel rubbing dwarves.
>>
>>1320805
Gnomes* the dwarves are alright.
>>
19+7=28

Good Success!

Gwynevere heals the man easily, and he actually begins to stand up, clearly confused.

"Cheery-o... What... By golly, what am I doing on land? And in this strange metal building?"

He has a fine british accent, reminding you of your officer corp.

"Your erh... Well, you were watching somesort of TV, Hendrik."

"Hendrik? My name is Sir Hamiliton of Oxford, And what the bloody hell am I doing here?"

"Erh..."

"And good God, put on some clothes! If my man servant was here, I'd order him to dress you!"

"Right, right... I have clothes on you know."

"But so revealing, by God's good grace! I'd wager your one of those London prostitutes I hear so much about these days from Captain Kellog!"

"What?"

With a strut proper of a British nobleman, he turns around, and holds up a box of cereal... Corn Flakes.

"Truly a remarkable captain! Though please do note, he has a bit of a womanizing problem! I fear all those days he spent overseas in America has dulled his taste in women... Oh, what's that Captain Kellog? Oh, I see! Now, m'lady, he's willing to pay you a whopping 4£ pounds for you to sleep with him, truly a remarkable deal! And of course, with that money you can buy yourself... Some actual clothes!"

...Is he paying to sleep with a box of cereal?

"Now, as for you, the rugged gentleman, where is the nearest coffee house? I require tea, as suiting a gentleman of my attire! And none of that common riff-raff you call taverns!"

"Erh..."

Actions

>...Knock out the werewolf "noble"
>...Erh, your Hendrick. Not Sir Hamilton.
>What the bloody hell is wrong with everyone?
>...I'll have you know I would never sleep with a box of cereal.
>...My clothes already fit me just fine, just so you know...
>...Consider the prospect of leaving him here.
>..Offer him directions to a nearby coffee house so long as follows you?
>Write-In
>>
>>1320825
>Write-In
Sir, you will be coming with us on the authority of the (are we really in Sweden?) Government. We will see to it you receive medical treatment for whatever has been done and then returned to your family.
>>
>>1320905
This.


So, I have just arrived to find out that some group of people has been kidnapping our citizens for covert brainwashing tests. I am going to say...chaos, elves or drow are behind this.

Also we really need to get more money into our secret service, to stop shit like this happening...
>>
>>1320918
At first I wanted to say vampires but I'm not so sure now. If not vampires then I say it's some generic science cult or Jews. Perhaps it's a science cult of vampiric Jews.
>>
>>1320928
Perhaps a cult of vampire-scientist-Jews, under the influence of chaos and being funded by the Drow?

Alternatively, our military governors have strange hobbies...
>>
>>1320905
You are in Sweden anon.

"Sir, come with us on the authority of the Swedish Government... We will see to it you receive medical treatment for whatever has been done and then you'll be returned to your family."

"Sweden, you say? How the hell did I end up here? I suppose I'll follow, for now though."

You head deeper into the hallway. That's when you... You think you hear footsteps up a head. Coming towards you...

From the darkness, you see something... Standing there. A large, black, furry body, with a similar set of purple glowing eyes glaring right at you... You squint, and notice it looks more of a... Corpse. Something's done surgery on it from all the marks and cuts sewn shut... It seems to have been a werewolf at some point, but greatly expanded to twice it's original size, and it gives a low, guttural growl.

It's a foul smell, and it just seems to be standing there.

Actions

>Fight the abomination?
>...Maybe you should try to find an alternate route.
>...You know what? Try to talk to it. It might not be a bad... Thing. Whatever it is.
>Shoot at it?
>(Scottish Rage) Get ready to hand it's eyes to it's arse!
>Write-In
>>
>>1320949
>Fight the abomination?
Vampiric Jewish necromancers under the influence of Slaanesh maybe?
>>
You decide to fight the abomination.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see how well the first round of combat goes.

+3 if Elizabeth can RIP AND TEAR brutally!
+2 if the Detective can try to help out!
+2 if Elizabeth can try to keep her anger under control to avoid upsetting Gwynevere.
+1 if Elizabeth can be quite a bit enthusiastic about fighting again.
>>
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1320973
>>
Allowing samefagging if Elizabeth can RIP AND TEAR and be enthusiastic about fighting again.
>>
Rolled 8 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1321012
Tear off one of its badly sewn limbs and beat the creature with it.

>Another challenge! What a great way to escape from the killing boredom of royal life.
>>
>>1321044
If Elizabeth can be even more brutal and enthusastic, samefag allowed.
>>
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1320973
>>
Well unless anons want to do the remaining bonuses it'll be a failure.
>>
>>1321070
Yell at the detective to actually do something g and shoot the thing. He doesn't have to worry about hitting us since bullets will probably not even penetrate our skin. (+2)

Take deep breathes and keep telling ourselves that this is for the greater good and we're doing this to put an end to weird experiments involving annoying gay blacks.(+2)
>>
Minor Success!

You charge up to the abomination and try to tear one of it's arms off, while the detective fires his pistol right into it's shoulder. It doesn't seem pleased, and it swipes it's claw at you...

Actions

>Attack anyways!
>Try to grab his arm and counter it!
>Dodge it!
>Write-In
>>
>>1321133
>Try to grab his arm and counter it!
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5 to grab his arm!

+3 if you can think of a BRUTAL thing to do when you grab his arm! (+2 if it's extremely brutal.)
>>
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1321153
>>
Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1321153
>>
Allowing samefagging if anons can think of something brutal to do with his arm.
>>
Rolled 13 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1321174
Break it at the elbow and drive the fist into it's skull.
>>
13+5=18

Minor Success!

You successfully grab it's elbow and twist it until you break it. It seems undaunted, and the detective with a clear shot fires two more bullets into it's neck and jaw.

The abomination however, headbutts you, knocking you off the attack and goes to bite you right on the head... (-200 HP to you!)
Actions

>Dodge it!
>Attack it somehow! (Write-Ins will do more damage!)
>Use a breath attack!
>Write-In
>>
>>1321204
>>Use a breath attack!
make a joke about getting or giving head.
>>
>>1321204
>Use a breath attack!
>>
Do anons want to use healing breath, fire breath, or ice breath.
>>
>>1321221
Kill it with fire.
>>
>>1321221
Ice. I feel like fire might mend some of its wounds which is helping us
>>
Ice or Fire anons?

Or both?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Fire
2=Ice!
>>
You decide to breath ice on it...

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if it's effective or not.

+3 if you can find a way to effectively freeze it!
+2 to your next attack if you can come up with a way to capitalize on freezing it a bit!
+2 if Elizabeth can taunt the abomination! (+1 if she can also somehow use her assets to taunt it.)
>>
Rolled 10 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1321335
>>
Rolled 10 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1321335
>>
If anons want a higher success, feel free to do it.
>>
>>1321346
*I mean do the bonuses.
>>
Rolled 4 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1321335
Aim our ice breath at it's face. Should disorient it hopefully.
Then follow up with a nice right hook.

>"Cool your head kid"
>>
Well all that's left is to taunt it for a normal success, and if you want a good success use your assets.
>>
>>1321387
>you fucking furry cunt. My uncle who lost a limb in Verdun can punch better then you.
>>
10+7=17

Good Success!

You freeze it's face disorienting it, while you follow up with a right hook... It clearly knocks it off balance, allowing for a devastating attack.

Choose an attack anons!

>Charge it horns first! It's on the ground exposed!
>...Suplex him somehow!
>Body slam him! You most likely have more weight then him!
>Tommy gun his face!
>...Bite his fucking face off!
>Shift to your kobold form and see if you can get a sneak attack in on his face!
>Write-In
>>
>>1321482
>Charge it horns first! It's on the ground exposed!
>>
>>1321482
>Tommy gun his face!
A lady doesn't get her hands any more dirty than necessary.
>>
>>1321482
>Tommy gun his face!
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4 to see how effective you can finish it off with a tommy gun.

+2 if you can come up with a cool looking move.
+2 if you can do a good one-liner, joke, or something cool.
+1 if you can think how cool guns are actually. (+1 if you can think how your being a movie hero. And try to avoid freaking out about it.)

And if you want to make fun of the detective for dual-wielding revolvers, go ahead.
>>
Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1321540
>>
Rolled 2 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1321540
"Hail to the Queen!" *Spray of gunfire*
>>
By the way, the higher the success the more damage I should probably add.

Allowing samefagging if you can make your cool move even more cool. And avoid freaking out about basically being a movie hero.
>>
>>1321566
I have a question regarding guns in this game. Does most of our army still use the assault rifle that's like a stg 44 copy. I feel like we need to modify it to make it better or maybe even replace it.
>>
>>1321576
It's not really an assault rifle, just an SMG that does well at most ranges, especially close up. It's alright at moderate and decent at long. But yes, most of the army uses it.
>>
Rolled 17 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1321540
>>
17+6=23

Good Success!

You aim the tommy gun carefully, firing the entire clip into the groin, torso, and then up to the neck... However, before you can take out it's head, the detective quick draws his revolver and fires a last shot into it's head, splattering it's brains into the ceiling.

It falls over, dead as a doorknob. The detective reloads his revolvers slowly.

"So, that was interesting... Guess we have the undead to deal with."

"Yep... Erh..."

"The gun's out of ammo."

"I know that."

You toss it to the ground as you slightly scratch your head... You've erh, never actually fired a gun before. It was fun, in all honesty.

"So, anyways, I'll follow you?"

"Yep."

You begin to walk over the corpse of the abomination.

"So... Mind if I ask what her royal highness is doing here anyways? Didn't think you were one for getting your hands dirty." The detective says to you, following close.

Actions

>...I'll have you know that I am not afraid to get my hands dirty then.
>...Well, I must say this is much more exciting then the palace, or taking care of the kids. (Elizabeth will find adventuring and fighting fun compared to staying at home.)
>I'm doing this for my Ren... He's sick, so he can't exactly do this right now.
>...Would you care if I ask why your down here? Doubt most detectives would like going into places like this where they might die.
>...Why don't we continue on instead of talking?
>Write-In
>>
>>1321691
>...I'll have you know that I am not afraid to get my hands dirty then.
>...Why don't we continue on instead of talking?
>>
"I'll have you know that I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty then. Why don't we continue on instead of talking?"

"Because I'd like to get to know the partner I'm working with a little better. Mutual trust, that sort of thing."

Actions

>We'll be fine. Let's just get going.
>...Worried about something?
>Fine... I suppose we can do some small talk while heading forth.
>Why don't you tell me a bit about you? I barely even know you. How can I trust you?
>Write-In
>>
>>1321770
>Fine... I suppose we can do some small talk while heading forth.
>Why don't you tell me a bit about you? I barely even know you.
>>
"Well, I suppose we can do some small talk while heading forth. Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then? I barely even know you."

"Eh... Well, alright, I guess."

"Come on, talk then."

"Well... Want the whole life story or just a brief summary?"

Actions

>...Why not the whole life story? I'm curious.
>...Well, could you please keep it brief?
>...I'd rather not hear it.
>Write-In
>>
>>1321804
>...Well, could you please keep it brief?
>>
"Just... Well, could you keep it brief please?"

"Sure... I'm an orphan from Austria, during the second world war I was adopted by a family in Prussia. My adoptive father was a farmer and my adoptive mother was a stay at home mom... I became a detective when I graduated from college, then after only four years on the force after the war I got kicked off due to... Well... I'd rather not say honestly."

Actions

>Come on. What did you get kicked off for?
>...Let him continue?
>Could I guess at it?
>Hey, I need to able to trust you. You even said that.
>Let's just move on, that's enough.
>Write-In
>>
>>1321843
>Let's just move on, that's enough.
>>
>>1321843
>Come on. What did you get kicked off for?
>>
>>1321848
this
>>
"Come on, what did you get kicked off for?"

"I erh... Well, I caught my partner giving evidence to the Russians... I told my boss, he demanded evidence... I didn't have any so he sends me home, and next thing I know my own partner tries to kill me on my way back... So I shot him..."

"Oh."

"...Before the police could arrest me I got on a ship to Sweden. But it was him or me, damn it... Then all this thing with being a werewolf got started..."

"Oh... Erh... Let's just move on, I guess. So you became a werewolf after you went to Sweden?"

"...Yeah... Five months ago."

"Oh."

"...It's... I'd rather still be human, in all honesty."

Actions

>...Well, you'll get used to it. I got used to being a dragon, after all... Well, mostly... It's still hard at times.
>...Sometimes I wish I was still human, to be honest.
>Hey... You know, I think my husband was working on something to revert lycanthropy.
>...Would you care if I ask what you think of Sweden?
>Well, to be fair, humans are superior to werewolves, mostly in the intelligence factor.
>...Come on, let's go already. I don't want to hear about this any more.
>Write-In
>>
>>1321889
>Hey... You know, I think my husband was working on something to revert lycanthropy.
>>
>>1321889
>Hey... You know, I think my husband was working on something to revert lycanthropy.
>...Would you care if I ask what you think of Sweden?
>>
"Hey, you know, I think my husband was working on something to revert lycanthropy."

"Oh, really? That's great. I'd like to be human for more then just five hours a day."

"Yeah... So what do you think of Sweden anyways?"

"...Erh... I sort of like it, but I miss Germany. Lower taxes, less war, and I can actually vote on things once in a while and not be ruled by a different race. Though the royal family's interesting to hear about, and there's a... Lot of different races I've never heard about before. It's just... Extremely foreign though."

"...Erh."

"...I still consider myself to be human, alright? Now, let's just continue... By the way, the name's Dietrich Hettich."

"Nice to meet you."

"You too. Don't get any ideas about eating me though."

"God, I gave that up, alright?"

"Hey, hey. Just a joke ma'am." He says, with a bit of a chuckle.

You continue down the hallway, and it seems to head down... There seems to be a lack of light though, as the staircase is... Dark. Spooky. And haunting in a sense.

"...So you wouldn't happen to have night vision, would you?"

"Yep... Though it's probably best you do too."

Actions

>...Try to find a way to dispell the darkness?
>Shapeshift to a form that can see in the dark? (Drow, Kobold, and Dwarf (Limited).)
>Head down anyways!
>See if you can send the detective in first?
>Send the gay black male first. Nothing lost if he gets killed to be honest.
>Write-In
>>
>>1321951
Oh, also Yuan-Ti have night vision. And yes, you'd also have four arms.
>>
>>1321951
>...Try to find a way to dispell the darkness?

. . . can we light the gay black male on fire as a torch to "dispel the darkness?"

but really just by keeping our mouth open with fire breath on prepped couldn't we have ourselves as a makeshift torch?
>>
>>1321967
This
>>
>>1321967
No, as you'd have to promptly breathe the fire. Or risk overheating, exploding, etc. If you were a red fire dragon, then yes you could.
>>
>>1321976
grab something like a stick from one of the rooms, tie something like bedding or something cloth based to it, and set it on fire.

chair leg, bits of chair and or bedding, and wiring from a TV to tie it could do the trick.
>>
>>1321983
All of it's metal. Save the bedding, unless you want to carry a flaming mattress down the stairs... Or surf on it, I guess.
>>
>>1321991
We should shapeshift into a Yaun-Ti and get some more of Dietrichs pistols.
>>
>>1321991
that's perfect, take the smashed open tv, and stuff it with bedding ripped out of a part of the mattress. once this is done place the TV bonfire on the mattress of righteous surfing and slide it down the stairs with us.
>>
>>1322003
So cause a fire, slide down the stairs in your dragotaur form on a mattress which is on fire, while you have a sensitivity to heat and hope for the best?

That's a good idea anon.

A really, really good idea.

Surely nothing could go wrong.
>>
So do anons want to go to yuan-ti form and make the detective look like a bitch since you'll be dual-wielding (or if you want to be a bitch quadruple wielding and being unable to reload ever), or going down a mattress on fire?

Or both?

Also
>when captcha's autistic and has "undefined" as the determinant in it's little game
>>
>>1322050
I'm for quad wielding revolvers in our snek form.

Also by 'undefined' I think it means wilderness or something. I remember getting that one, just clicked on trees and it was right.
>>
>>1322050
bah, damn never knew about the heat sensitivity.

do the Yuan-ti form and Tri Wield.
>>
>>1322050
I'm done for a trigun snake
>>
You shift to your yuan-ti form... It's erh... Well, it can barely fit the stairwell, and you startle the werewolf and people on your back.

"Jesus, can you at least tell us when you doing that?"

"Sorry, sorry... Can I borrow three revolvers?"

"...I guess?"

He hands you three revolvers which you can't help but feel excited to use... Wow, having four arms is... It's kind of weird.

You begin to slither down, everyone sort of staying up there... You descend to the bottom in a few minutes, and wonder why they haven't exactly gone down.

"Why are you still up there/"

"You erh... Well, do you want us to trip on your tail?"

"No?"

"Then move forward!" You hear the detective yell. You mutter a bit and continue along...

Eventually the detective comes down, and goes up beside you... Your slightly larger then him still.

"So... I'm not going to ask how your nearly twenty-two meters, but alright. Let's just get going."

"...Wait, what?"

"You are... Very long. Now, can we get going?"

You know, I was always wondering when we shapeshift where all that weight and mass went. In theory we should be extraordinarily dense, and weigh as much as a mansion...

How does that help?

...Oh, I'm just thinking here. It's quite mysterious honestly.

You slither along, and of course, the werewolf noble gets on your back and so does the gay man.

"Ew. Why did you HAVE to be a snake? Snakes are like, so gross..." The gay man says.

"...Well, you aren't getting any complaints from me... And who the hell said the two of you could ride her?" He says, in defense of you.

Wait a minute, he's right...

"...Well, at the rate we're going, I'll sprain my ankle or something... Though you could always carry me, handsome." The gay gives a wink at the detective.

"Erh... I uh... I don't know. Who am I again? And why am I holding a box of cereal?" Says Hendrick... It seems he might be recovering. Or deteriorating.

Luckily with all the muscle in your snake tail you seem to be carrying everyone without a problem. Though you are getting a bit hungry.

Actions

>...Can the two of you get off me? I'm not a train. Even if I am very long.
>...Well, I mean, it's alright. All aboard the snake express, I suppose.
>Detective, it's fine, alright? You don't have to be protective of me.
>...Try to increase morale? Everyone's sort of not really wanting to do much.
>...Slap the gay for calling you gross.
>Briefly consider eating the gay. Briefly.
>...Just saying it might get hot back there if I do breathe fire. I'm not entirely sure if I can do that though.
>Ignore everything and just continue on.
>Write-In
>>
>>1322161
*By the way, the detective is defending you.
>>
>>1322161
>Gwynevere is questioning the science behind shapeshifting
I love her.
10/10 best character of the quest.
>Ignore everything and just continue on.
>>
>>1322161
>Briefly consider eating the gay. Briefly.
It might be contagious
>Ignore everything and just continue on.
>>
>>1322182
this.
>>
You stop and ponder... Would a gay black man taste good or not?

Bad Liz! Stop thinking about eating people!

Gwynevere internally wacks you, and you mutter a bit... He'd probably taste good. And stop annoying you.

You continue slithering on... You must admit, having night vision is very useful since it seems the power here is completely off...

Though there's a bit of a problem. The hallway in front of you seems to have a green puddle of acid... How can you tell?

Well, mostly because the barrel says "Highly Acidic!" on the side.

Great.

The only two ways you think you can get across is via ventilation, which means no one else can follow you save the human, or some extreme acrobatic maneuvering over the acid.

There seems to be an office on the other side of the acid spill..

Actions

>Slither through anyways!
>Shapeshift!
>Try to go through the ventilation!
>...Maybe you can find a way to slither on the walls? If only you were sticky.
>Frost breath? Though it might just do nothing and just make the floor slippery.
>Write-in
>>
>>1322215
>Frost breath? Though it might just do nothing and just make the floor slippery.
If only we had a drider form.
>>
>>1322215
Vents.
>>
>>1322240
If you use vents you'll leave the party behind, though you can come back at a later date.
>>
>>1322245
I think we can leave them behind.
>>
So anons want to use vents?
>>
>>1322245
tell the werewolf he's being charged to protect those brainwashed saps with his life. leave them come back. best case scenario only the literal nigger faggot dies.
>>
>>1322261
Yeah
>>
>>1322215
>write in is there any objects in the room to make a temporary bridge over the acid or some kind alkaline cleaning product to pour on it to neutrlize it
>>
>>1322269
may as well try it
>>
>>1322269
Nope.

You slip through the ventilation and tell everyone you'll be back... After plenty of wiggling, you come to what seems to be a observer's room...

There seems to be a guard in there... But like everyone else, has purple glowing eyes... He might be brain washed too. The ventilation continues on, but you could drop out stealthily here.

Actions.

>...Slither on your way!
>...Drop down through ventilation. If your lucky, he might not hear you.
>...See about taking care of the guard... You could wrap around him and choke him out... Or nom him... You are a bit hungry. And no one will notice. Save Gwynevere.
>Try to talk to the guard?
>...See about shapeshifting in here... It's a bit cramped.
>Write-in
>>
>>1322285
>>...See about taking care of the guard... You could wrap around him and choke him out... Or nom him... You are a bit hungry. And no one will notice. Save Gwynevere.

Constrict and knock out.

let Gwynevere know were only trying to knock this one out just to be safe.
>>
>>1322285
>...See about taking care of the guard... You could wrap around him and choke him out... Or nom him... You are a bit hungry. And no one will notice. Save Gwynevere.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 to constrict and knock out the guard.

+3 if you can come up with a fancy way to constrict and knock out!
+2 if you can find a way to make the guard not make a sound!
+2 if you can find a way to hide the knocked out guard.
+1 if you can try to be gentle and apologize a bit for this.
+1 if Gwynevere can be happy Elizabeth isn't murdering the guard. And mention how nice the yuan-ti form is. And try to theorize why Elizabeth's so long.)

If everything's done, autosuccess.
>>
Rolled 16 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>1322317
Slink our tail down first and pull him up towards the vent, when he passes out due to lack of air we can lower him back down and pull him up into the vent from under the arms.
>>
You slink your tail down, and pull him up by the neck into the vent, and choke him out for a bit... Of course you carefully uncoil yourself and leave him up the vent while you get into his little office... You take up most of the room while you peek out the door, to see a guard coming towards you with coffee. He also has that similar purple glow in his eyes...

Crap.

Actions

>...Try to hide. Somehow.
>...Get ready to choke out another guard!
>...Try to erh... Maybe you can stuff yourself under a desk? Though that would be really, really hard.
>Shapeshift! (You might not have enough time!)
>...Erh... Wait a minute! Try to quickly undress the guard up in the vent!(as in take his cap and jacket) and try to impersonate a guard?
>...Get the revolvers ready!
>Just uh... Try to bluff your way past the incoming guard.
>Write-In
>>
>>1322373
>...Get ready to choke out another guard!
>>
Gwynevere seems quite happy your knocking people out rather then killing them.

Roll me a 1d20+6 for yet another guard to knock out!

+3 if you can come up with a way to choke out the guard without making a sound and to do it fast.
+2 if you can hide his body!

Autosuccess if everything happens.
>>
Rolled 8 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1322416
>>
Rolled 19 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1322416
>>
>>1322416
Try and wrap our tail around his torso, lift him up and strangle him with our hands on his throat. Also out one of our spare hands on his mouth,

Push the previous guard further down the vent so we can fit this one in there too.
>>
You strangle another guard, and put him into the vent as well...

You know, this is quite fun. It's so rare I get to go out...

Well, it's fun. When you aren't killing people.

Hey, come on... It's more fun then being in bed all day or arguing with Frankizka.

More fun then having children, hopefully?

Always a special place in my heart to have more princes and princesses. You know that...

Well, at least you found something you like, I guess.

Due to the amount of fun Elizabeth's having exploring, adventuring, and generally having just roaming around and helping her nation hands on, she has upgraded!

Choose one anons.

>Stable Mutation
>Unstable Mutation
>Ultra Unstable Mutation.
>Upgrade Mutation.
>(NEW for Ren and Liz!) Upgrade a Form to be more powerful! (This is your other forms you can shapeshift to... Human and Dragon form is excluded from this.)
>>
>>1322522
>Unstable Mutation
>>
>>1322522
>(NEW for Ren and Liz!) Upgrade a Form to be more powerful! (This is your other forms you can shapeshift to... Human and Dragon form is excluded from this.)

We literally cannot use dragon form all the time
>>
I don't want to roll for this anons, so decide. I got some cool mutations for each form too.
>>
>>1322554
I'll switch to upgrading one of our forms.
>>
Choose a form to upgrade anons.

>Dragotaur Form.
>Half-Dragon Form.
>Minotaur Form.
>Dwarf Form.
>Drow Form.
>Werewolf Form.
>Elf Form.
>Yuan Ti Form.
>>
>>1322573
Oh, and also
>Kobold Form.

If anons want, I can describe some of the mutations each form can get.
>>
>>1322577
what are our options with the following?
>Dragotaur Form.
>Half-Dragon Form.
>Yuan Ti Form.
these seem the most useful and as a queen we would probably be in Half Dragon the most.
>>
>>1322577
What can the Drow form get.
>>
I'll tell you what the first upgrades for those are.

Drow.

>Dark Cloak. (Harder to see and notice in dark areas, and gets a bonus to stealth!)
>Acrobat. (Elizabeth gets a +2 to Agility in her drow form and can pull complex acrobatic moves!)
>Intimidating Presence. (Elizabeth gets a +2 to Intimidation in her Drow form, and an additional +1 to intimidation to males.)
>Great Hearing. (Elizabeth's hearing is improved, allowing her to hear sounds better and predict their direction!)

Dragotaur Form.

>Enlarged Horns. (Elizabeth's horns become able to pry open tough doors, impale even better, and look even more intimidating. Oh, and also being able to penetrate through most walls.)
>Claws. (Elizabeth's Dragotaur form gets large intimidating claws allowing for it to slice through enemies and objects. It can damage walls slightly, and can hurt more then one enemy at once.)
>Kind Personality. (Elizabeth's Dragotaur form will be naturally kind-hearted. She will be able to have some control over going into BRUTAL mode and will typically be nicer to those around her.)
>Wrestlermania. (Elizabeth's attacks can be compared to that of a professional wrestler. As in, she can pull wrestling moves lethally and with a bonus of +1 when she does that.)

Half-Dragon Form.

>Small Wings. (Elizabeth can glide for up to a mile with small wings in her Half-Dragon form!)
>Magic Resistance. (Elizabeth's half-dragon form will have resistance to magic.)
>Increased Armor. (Elizabeth's armor class will go up by 1 in her Half-Dragon Form.)
>Melody-Like Voice. (Elizabeth's Charisma goes up by +1 in this form!)

Yuan-Ti Form.

>Increased Length. (Elizabeth's length is increased, giving her a +2 to Agility and a +2 to Body when using her tail for an attack. It also allowing for complex maneuvers with this form.)
>Magic Proficiency. (Elizabeth's magic in this form is even more powerful!)
>Adaptive Body. (Elizabeth's body in this form can adapt well to heat or cold. Such as 40 Fahrenheit and 90 Fahrenheit.
>Fast Reflexes. (Elizabeth's reflexes become much faster in this form, allowing her to dodge some attacks passively, shoot firearms more accurately, and attack more lethally and precisely with melee weapons!)

If anons like one, choose it. I have a bunch more for the others though that are interesting, like Werewolf and Kobold.
>>
>>1322647
>Fast Reflexes. (Elizabeth's reflexes become much faster in this form, allowing her to dodge some attacks passively, shoot firearms more accurately, and attack more lethally and precisely with melee weapons!)


Liz, the draconian-British-queen-gunslinger!
>>
>>1322647
>Kind Personality. (Elizabeth's Dragotaur form will be naturally kind-hearted. She will be able to have some control over going into BRUTAL mode and will typically be nicer to those around her.)
time to curb the murderboner
>>
>>1322647
What does the Kobold form have. Although as of right now the quick reflexes sounds like the best.
>>
Technically Kobold, Werewolf, and Yuan-Ti Form can get Fast Reflexes. Yuan-ti Form however can upgrade it far more then Werewolf and Kobold.

Kobold.

>Fast Reflexes! (Just like the Yuan-Ti Reflexes!)
>Burrower (Can burrow underground and attack from underground!)
>Creative. (Elizabeth can periodically come up with great ideas and she gets a bonus to researching things as a kobold!)
>>
>>1322703
I go with fast reflexes for the Yuan-Ti form.
>>
>>1322721
this
>>
Elizabeth's Yuan-Ti Form now has Fast Reflexes.

You feel everything sort of... Slow down. Sort of. You just feel faster, maybe. Or everything's just slow.

You of course slither around and find what seems to be one of those prisoner doors...

But this time, it seems two... Armor-clad soldiers seem to be guarding it. You see a purple glow under what seems to be visors and ballistic helmets. They sort of remind you of a SWAT team in a sense, and are armed with assault rifles... Those new "AK-47s" the Russians like to make now.

Actions

>...Try to take out the guards stealthily?
>Try to sneak by and go somewhere else!
>Shoot at them!
>Try to draw their attention over here?
>...Shapeshift.
>Write-In
>>
>>1322767
>Shoot at them!
Time to put those new reflexes to use.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+6 (+2 from Fast Reflexes) to be quick on the draw, so to speak!

+3 if you can find a cool way to shoot at the soldiers.
+2 if you can use your yuan-ti form to it's fullest!
+2 if you can use your assets to distract them before they can shoot at you!
>>
Rolled 17 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>1322809
>>
>>1322809
i'm going for all three.

lung after one of the soldiers and whip underneath him, using the tail, spin him around towards us, and rise up pushing against him with the "assets". use the soldier we have distracted as a shoulder rest and human shield while we fire into the one's neck.

the next soldier is straight up two gun chin shot execution.

when gwen inevitably flips out, point out that these fuckers were brainwashing Swede's into thinking they were brits and are turning the fucking nogs gay!
>>
17+6=23

Good Success!

You lung forward suddenly after the first soldier, whipping him beneath you, and you spin him around, with his face right in your assets... His friend fires a long burst into the man's chest, saving you time, and you lower the enemy soldier as a shoulder rest and fire into the other one's neck, decapitating him with the power of having two shots hit him.

"For fuck's sake!" The human shield cries out in quite a bit of pain, and clenches his gut.

"...Aren't you supposed to be dead?" You say... Your pretty sure a human can't exactly take twelve AK-47 shots to the back...

You notice that... The bottom half of where he was shot at was... Made of metal. In fact, when you turn him over, you notice that his entire body is made of metal, and he's leaking oil.

Metal men? What the hell is this?

"G-god! I-I need backup up h... Here... T-t... They took out... J-jeser..."

His voice begins to die... It's quite clear he can feel pain still. Why would...

This is so goddamned confusing. But before he can finish, his voice dies and he twitches a bit... His hand extended towards his friend.

You feel a bit sympathetic, but his radio cracks to life.

"Hello? This is Unit 5838, correct? What is the status of backup? Have Kobolds discovered our base of operations? Answer within fifteen seconds, or I'll assume the worse! And if you say it's a false alarm I'll have you deconstructed for spare parts for Master Inventor Wizzmaker, Alchemist Supreme, Congressman of the First Congress, Supreme Mayor Gerbil, you know!"

Supreme Mayor Gerbil?

Wait... Isn't that a name...

Oh my God there's someone called Gerbil. You'd try to avoid laughing if this wasn't so serious.

Actions

>Try to answer the radio?
>...Erh, just uh... Run? Run.
>...Laugh loudly at whoever's called "Gerbil". That is... A terrible, terrible name.
>...Shoot the radio?
>Write-In
>>
>>1322868
>Try to answer the radio?

Don't say it was a flase alarm. Say one of the experiments broke and killed Jasper. Try to imitate the gaurds voice in case that much wasn't obvious.
>>
>>1322868
>Try to answer the radio?
Those goddamn fucking midget cunt bastards. This sounds like a gnome operation.
>>
>>1322885
Brainwashing to create degeneracy, demons or equivalent style monster, and cyborgs with emotions that only serve to harm them. This is definitely the work of the Jude-i mean the gnomes.
>>
You decide to try and answer the radio...

What excuse do you want to come up with?

>An experiment broke loose and killed Jasper!
>It was a false alarm!
>One of the guards thought he saw something somewhere!
>I thought I saw something!
>There's a weird snake girl running around killing everyone!
>...Who's this on the other end? You can call me Elizabeth.
>Write-in
>>
>>1322888
Don't forget.
>(((Gerbil)))
That name just reeks of it.

Also nice Hitler trips.

>>1322893
>>There's a weird snake girl running around killing everyone!
>>
>>1322893
>An experiment broke loose and killed Jasper!
>>
Do anons want to do both?
>>
>>1322923
Yes
>>
>>1322923
I have no idea how that would work unless we convinced their command the robot went insane.

Do it.
>>
"Sir, one of the experiments broke loose! It's a weird snake girl running around killing everyone!"

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if their command buys it.

+3 if you can describe the snakewoman in great detail. (As in, describe what you probably look like in your yuan-ti form.)
+2 if you can mention how awesome she is. Yeah. So awesome.
+2 if you can also make it cut out really dramatically.
+1 if Gwyenvere can also mention how hot she is. Because why not try and help? Non-lethally of course.

Autosuccess if everything happens.
>>
The only solution to the gnomish problem, is a final one. A global extermination.
>>
Rolled 5 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1322938
I have no honest idea how to describe a sexy four armed naga queen.
>>
Rolled 9 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1322938
It was massive. At least 20 feet in length from head to tail and was wider then a full grown man. It has light blue or blue and white scales.

>>1322939
Our immediate goal should probably be capturing who ever is on the radio and maybe Gerbil.
>>
>>1322945
Raiding the room and getting back to the others, it's never good to Wade into a gnomish conspiracy. Fortunately we have all the power to fight out way out.
>>
Allowing samefagging if you can continue to describe said sexy four armed yuan-ti queen while I play around in slow-mo in Arma 2
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>1322950
It had four arms and for some reason even had boobs. It shouldn't even be possible but the snake thing had giant boobs the size of cantaloupes if not bigger.
>>
I'm willing to ignore the critical failure if anons can deliver me a damned good autosuccess and description.
>>
>>1322950
Oh fuck you and you not emptied out wallet.

"Curvy figure, slight roundness where the tail and torso meet, toned slender arms, a really, really nice set of tits, and an a fine Ivory underbelly."
>>
>>1322957
Fuck you even harder.

>>1322962
Give me a minute I'm phone posting.
>>
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763 KB GIF
>>1322964
>When your a wage slave and can throw money at military simulators just so you can play around in the editor and make giant battles in Not Russia just because you can

>tfw you have to go to work at fucking 5 in the morning just to support your addiction to vidija gaems
>>
Wait, can't we use Scottish rage for this critical failure?
>>
>>1322962
>>1322938
*Gwen wispers a suggestion for cutting out* "She's got a really working body for a serpent. Wouldn't mind being constricted by it, really. Oh the swaying devil's coming this way! Hey Coldblooded!" *Smash Radio.*
>>
>>1322975
I swear it's like my beef jerky, MMO, and knife collecting addiction/obsessions. I'm never gonna have a mill in the bank.
>>
>>1322981
Do you want to use Scottish Rage on a radio, and get extremely violent with the nearest things?

>>1322997
I spend most of my money on either Planetside 2 for the TR and NC, on D&D, 40k Tabletop (not the miniatures, shit like Dark Heresy), and the remaining money goes to my family and my cat. So I won't have money either.)

You of course describe the subject in great detail. Really great detail to the point that they overlook the whole "we don't have any reptiles here".

Of course, Gwynevere can't help but share how "nice" looking you are, and how nice it is to get constricted by her.

When you ask Gwynevere why, she says that she'd "still prefer to kinda spare the robots, please." But she promises to not get too upset about them.
She still would prefer if you'd be non-lethal about it, and mentions how the "assets should be weapons of peace and not war" and that "Robots have hearts too. Kinda... Well, not really. But these feel pain and I'd feel bad, ok?"

At least Gwynevere's not going to freak out if you kill one robot. Or all of them. Though she'll probably tell you to stop if you start torturing them or anything like that.

Of course, the door next to you unlocks for some reason, and you head inside...

Inside seems to be a human also watching TV... Her eyes glow a docile blue though, and she gets released from the chair.

"Surviving Guard, escort her to Command, now! And do not be afraid to use your taser to pacify her, she's a part of the "Artifical Vampirism Plague Project, and is extremely valuable! SO DON'T KILL HER!"

Aw. The gnomes think your a guard! So sweet of them to open a door for a lady.

The subject begins to get up, and she screams at you... It erh... It seems to be a sort of vampire, as she has very, very sharp fangs.

"BLOOD!!" She yells, before rushing at you extremely fast...

Your fast reflexes though, allow you to dodge this initial rush. This subject seems to not really be responding well...

Actions

>Constrict her! You have an opening!
>Shoot at her!
>Get out. Get out and close the door behind you.
>...See about trying to choke her out!
>Shapeshift! (Fast Reflexes is extremely important in this fight, keep in mind!)
>Write-In
>>
>>1323013
I'd like to point out that it's a loudspeaker talking to you.
>>
>>1323013
>Constrict her! You have an opening!

Say what you will abut the Kobolds and anything bad about them but these gnomes are really starting to look cancerous. They're turning people into gay niggers, supplying terrorists with bio-weapons and probably a lot of other edgy shit. The Kobolds may be paranoid and harsh but at least they have the decency to set up an embassy and talk to us. These gnomes look like they're doing all this in secret specifically against us or they just don't care.
>>
>>1323032
I don't think you've taken the gnomes pill, let me put it to you this way.

(Kikes+midgets)*satan = Gnomes.

>Constrict her! You have an opening!
>>
>>1323041
Why can't I upvote this guys?

Roll me a 1d20+7 to try and constrict her!

+3 if you can carefully find a way to constrict her! (You won't take any damage if you can find a way to prevent her from biting you or find a way to sate her blood lust a bit.)
+2 if Gwynevere can encourage Elizabeth to constrict. And not to kill her. Please. (+1 if she can try to help her out by telling the vampire to please not resist being constricted and why it's pretty nice probably.)

Autosuccess if everything happens and you'll take no damage.
>>
Rolled 16 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1323050
>>
If anons can carefully find a way to constrict her and make sure she won't bite you, you also won't take any damage or run the risk of accidentally contracting vampirism.
>>
>>1323050
Start by tripping the vampire, then sliding the tail towards the small of the back, and coiling it behind the arms, the. Pulling wide to create a pillory. Heads don't turn 180°

It would also be damn hilarious is Gwen tried to act like maternal Elizabeth.
>>
>>1323068
We can throw a dead gaurd at her or put one of it's limbs into her mouth.
>>
>>1323068
Put our tail out to trip her as she's charging at us. Then once she's down quickly move in and wrap ourselves around her starting at her feet up to her elbows so that she's thoroughly restricted and her mouth can't reach us.
>>
>>1323088
>>1322888
Tell me, can you feel the reich calling?
>>
You trip the vampire and make sure to wrap yourself around her feet, and up to her elbows... You make sure to drag her along at the end of your tail, and she's extremely wrapped up. Warm too probably.

Gwynevere tries her best to be maternal. Tries, being the keyword.

I erh... I don't know how you do this... I mean, one of us has to be nice to people we... Well, kind of constrict.

What, being motherly to people? It's easy, think of the kids.

I erh... I've never had kids. I don't really want any... Does uh... Does being generous with showing our boobs count?

...Kind of, but no.

God, I only know what Ren likes... I-I'm bad at this whole being nice thing...

What? Your great at it.

Sis, come on... All I know is how to look sexy and try to help people... Not how to... You know... I-I'm bad at talking to people, alright?

So flashing your tits is how you talk? You say, with a bit of a chuckle.

What? No! I-I... I-it's...I don't know how to make a good first impression, alright? A-and people like that sort of thing and... You know, find me interesting to be around... I-I mean, that's probably why Ren sticks around me I guess..

It seems your "sister" has some problems talking to people. How adorable!

You slither along and hear... What sounds like marching towards you. You peek around a corner to see a squad of seven soldiers running in your general direction... They seem to be the same as the soldiers. Most likely metal men as well.

There's an office beside you that you can hide in.

Actions

>Try to ambush them!
>Fall back!
>Duck into the office to your side!
>...Release the vampire to distract them? Though she might go after you.
>Maybe you can scare them off?
>Well... If they act like people... Why not try to charm them?
>Write-In
>>
>>1323099
>Duck into the office to your side!
>>
>>1323111
This.
>>
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

You duck into the office to your side by barging through the door...

Ignore my roll.
>>
You barge in, and the soldiers run past without noticing... You hear typing however, and look up to see a... Rather large Minotaur with purple glowing eyes.

"Oh, sweetie, is my shift already over? Gosh darn it, I thought I told the mechanic to fix that clock..."

She seems oblivious to you clearly not supposing to be here, and she begins to get up... You note she has a... Collar around her neck.

"Now, you know your duties, right sweetie? Being a secretary and organizing these papers alphabetically, and organizing the Great Amazing Supreme Master Gerbil's library?"

"Erh..."

"Oh, sweetie, you look new! I can smell it on you! Oooh, you must be that new maid, aren't you?" She talks in proper English, with a slight Greek accent.

"Erh... Who are you?"

"Oh, I'm Gerbil's chief house maid. I've been working here for a good twenty years, give or take, since I was hired in Crete!"

"Right, right... So your uh..."

"Oh, I almost forgot! I'm Katharyna, though you can just call me Kate for short!"

You note that she looks quite overweight, with a jolly and happy attitude, though she is twice your size easy.

"Right... It's erh, nice to meet you Kate."

"Oh, it's a pleasure to make your acqaintence too. You'll fit in wonderfully around here, with the staff. Gerbil's a brilliant Gnome, but of course the other Gnomes don't like him so much, exiling him and all that for being too "unethical" in his science... Oh, you'll grow to like him in time. Just don't get on his bad side, ok sweetie? I'd hate to see anything bad happen to you... Say, where is your shock collar anyways?"

Actions

>...I erh... Well, I uh... I must of lost it.
>...Why don't you take me to Gerbils so I can get a new one?
>...Why don't we stay and talk?
>...Didn't you hear? Gerbils said we can take them off.
>...Try to slide up to her and act like you'll talk to her... And try to constrict her!
>Maybe you can find the rest of the prisoners if you can find a way to "walk and talk" with her?
>Write-In
>>
>>1323146
>...Didn't you hear? Gerbils said we can take them off.
>>
>>1323146
>...Didn't you hear? Gerbils said we can take them off.
Also ask her where we can find Gerbils. Stuff like simple directions.
>>
"Didn't you hear? Gerbils said we could take them off."

"...That doesn't sound quite right... Why don't you put yours on before someone less... Pleasant notices?"

She seems quite concerned.

"Well... Where can I find Gerbils? I uh... I don't have a shock collar."

The loudspeakers come to life.

"ALERT, A SUBJECT HAS ESCAPED. IS CONSIDERED ARMED AND HIGHLY DANGEROUS. LETHAL FORCE IS NOT AUTHORIZED!"

The minotaur gives you a highly suspicious look over.

Roll me a 1d20-4 to see if she thinks you've escaped or just are missing your collar somehow.

+3 if you can appeal to her soft and kind nature.
+1 if you can come up with excuses.

Since anons have fast reflexes, in case you fail this roll you can take a instant action to prevent her from calling the soldiers over, just type what you want to do.
>>
Rolled 19 - 4 (1d20 - 4)

>>1323167
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>1323167
>Appeal by suggesting their talking about one of their vampire projects. And that we feel absolutely sorry for them and wish we could do something about it. Then transition to asking if there is anything we could do to help her.
>>
19+1=20

Amazing Success!

"They're uh, probably talking about a vampire project or something. I feel so sorry for them... Well, is there anything I can do to help?"

"Oh, that's the spirit! Now, I'd hate to put this on you, but I really need to sort out his library for later... Having a book club meeting or something with a few of his old friends, and I need someone to help me cook the chicken pot pie, someone to go through the books and summarize it for him because the old worry-wort forgot..."

"Oh..."

"Don't worry, after this I'll show you your room and all the other staff! You'll love them... And if you want, I can sneak you a taste of my home-made chicken pot pie. I always make a second one for the staff!"

She gives you a tough pat on the head.

"...And a third one for me. Erh... Minus the chicken, of course. I mostly enjoy blueberry. Now, could you be a dear and help me with one of those tasks? I'd really appreciate it, I have plenty on my plate as it is."

She gives you a wink.

"Get it? Plate?"

"...Erh..."

"Oh, darn it. I've always been bad with those puns... That human won't stop with them and by golly I've been trying my hardest to learn how to do them."

"Yeah... Erh..."

Actions

>I uh... Where's the nearest restroom? I really have to go...
>...I mean, I can help you with summarizing the book he read... Or was supposed to read.
>...How about I help you with cooking?
>...Erh... Well, why don't you take me on a tour first? I don't know where anything is...
>...Maybe you can get her to trust you. She seems nice enough. Try and butter her up a bit and see if she's more willing to listen.
>Write-In
>>
>>1323199
>I uh... Where's the nearest restroom? I really have to go...

>Someone besides Ren patted a character on the head.
I feel perturbed.
>>
"So erh... Where's the nearest restroom? I really have to go."

"Should be around the corner. Come back soon, alright?"

She gives you a final pat, and hands you a special cookie... It seems to be chocolate.chip, peanut butter, and marshmellow. How nice.

You slip away from the brainwashed minotaur, and Gwynevere feels sorry for her... Of course, that's when you come across three guards... All of which seem to be standing in the middle of the hallway, which seems to split in three directions... They seem to be trying to corner you off.

Your stomach gives a rumble, like an angry growl. You haven't eaten at all, and your starving. Great. You eat that cookie, which you must admit, tastes extremely good.

After this encounter, you'll start to suffer a -1 to all rolls due to hunger.

Actions

>Fight the guards so you can head forward!
>Try to slip through the ventilation!
>Get your revolvers ready to fight some robots!
>...See about shapeshifting.
>Try to bluff them that your a servant?
>Write-In
>>
>>1323225
>Try to slip through the ventilation!
>>
Keep in mind if you slip through ventilation you'll have to find a way to keep the vampire from getting stuck or losing your grip over her.
>>
>>1323235
>Get your revolvers ready to fight some robots!
The best offense is a good offense
>>
You get your revolvers ready...

Roll me a 1d20+7 for your surprise attack anons! (+2 from Fast Reflexes!)

Also, if you want Gwynevere to not freak out, try to aim for non-lethal shots!

+3 if you can do a fancy move while shooting, constricting, etc.
+2 if Elizabeth can use her assets to distract the soldiers! (Preventing them from firing back... +2 if you can somehow use them as a weapon.)
+1 if Gwynevere can try to yell out to the robots why they should just surrender to the sexy yuan-ti Queen

If everything happens (If you want to, you can ignore Gwynevere's bonus but it'll make the autosuccess a little less powerful) you won't take any damage and it'll be an autosuccess.
>>
Rolled 14 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1323244
>>
Ya know maybe I'm just being a conspiracy theorist

But I get the odd feeling the nazis and gnomes worked together and some other things.
>>
>>1323473
I could see that.


So anyway, I assume our goal is to capture this guy and add him to slave scientist collection?
>>
Rolled 17 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1323244
>Inb4 goebbels is working with the gnomes to produce magic mind control propaganda
Because the question also remains why he is still alive.
And also the status of his wife and children
>>
>>1323480
Kill
Raise him as a skeleton.
We can use him with the nazi scientist we keep.
>>
Another step forward is goebbels is gerbils
He's only called that because they can't fucking pronounce that damn name
>>
The Nazis did nothing wrong. Their scientist on the other hand.
>>
>>1323767
meh I don't care about the invading military.

The scientists and hitler and those involved in said camps though can fuck right off
>>
From the Homeland
https://youtu.be/_uk2NeKBG5A
We're at shillcon 1 "AKA Goldberg's last Stand" the loic has been released for mass use and the pony/threadsplit spam is unending. QM are you seeing this madness?
>>
>>1323931
My god
This is the best week ever for me.
This just tops it
>>
>>1323931
I'm just going to take a break from /pol/ for today.
Although the new /can/ and /cock/ are pretty amusing.
>>
What the fuck is going on anons?

Anyways, if anons want to take no damage just come up with a way to try and take out the group of soldiers fancily.

Also, do anons want to shoot lethally or non-lethally?
>>
>>1324347
Something beautiful that's what
They have combined mlp and pol.
A great idea imo


Shoot non-lethally and do some fancy twirls while we shoot.
Spinning and shooting
>>
>>1324347
It's April fools.
>>
>>1324354
It's just April fools. Like last year when they gave 4chin a google plus type of layout.
>>
>>1324354
Today is a strange day.

17+7=24

Great Success!

You jump around the corner, spinning... And fire seven shots in rapid succession, hitting the robots. They fall to the ground, and you quickly rush by after making sure they're just disabled...

Of course, when you turn the corner you come to a sort of room... A large room with a blue beam going down, striking a very large... And somewhat delicious looking blue crystal. It does however seem to be guards patrolling around, about five... Each one is quite spread out from the other though.

The guards appear to be human.

Actions

>...Try to sneak by them and get that crystal?
>Take care of the guards one by one!
>Get the triple revolver doom ready!
>Shapeshift!
>Sneak by and try to leave!
>Write-in
>>
>>1324387
I know.
Still enjoying it.
The quality of both of them has shot up with this.
>>1324401
>Get the triple revolver doom ready!
>>
>>1324401
>Get the triple revolver doom ready!
Upgrade crystal?

>>1324424
Personally I'm loving /fitlit/ even though I never go on /fit/ or /lit/
>>
>>1324424
Keep in mind the guards are awfully spread out. Meaning your revolvers have a higher chance to miss.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4 anons! (-2 from range! -1 from hunger!)

+3 if you can find a way to stealthily close the distance, and use your revolvers on the responding guards!
+3 if Liz can use her assets on one of the guards.
+1 if Liz can mention how much fun she's having doing this to Gwynevere!

If everything is done, it'll be an autosuccess.

Also, do anons want to be lethal, non-lethal, or "lethal and nom"?
>>
Rolled 3 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1324472
Just do non-lethal
>>
Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1324472
Dive between and under desk and chair as we make our way between the gaurds.
>>
Allowing samefagging if Elizabeth can come up with an opening move on the first guard.

Autosuccess if Elizabeth can use her assets on the guard too.
>>
>>1324544
Grab the first gaurd by the foot and pull him towards us. Jump on top of him so he'll be busy with out assets while we fire from prone upon his allies.
>>
You sneak up to the first guard, and trip him by the foot and with surprising strength, underneath your chest...

You unleash a volley of gunfire on the rest of the guards, hitting them in the knees or chest. Two of them are wounded and unable to fight, and a third has been shot in the arm.

Two guards seem to be remaining, and prepare to fire back at you!

Actions

>Use the guard you have under you as a hostage/human shield!
>Try to flank them!
>Rush and constrict the closest one and try to follow up that attack by luring the other one to try and help his friend!
>Use a breath attack!
>Fire again!
>Write-In
>>
>>1324599
>Fire again!
>>
>>1324599
>Fire again!
Chastise them like an angry parent for engaging a lady of high social standing in combat.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4 anons.

+3 if you can find a fancy way to fire at them!
+2 if you can continue to use your assets on the guard below you, or on a new target.
+1 if you can maternally chastise them for shooting back at you! (+1 if Gwynevere can try to mention why getting constricted isn't that bad! And of course if she can compliment your yuan-ti form quite a bit.)

Autosuccess if everything's done, and Elizabeth's skill in revolvers will go up.
>>
Rolled 16 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>1324659
>>
If everything's done anons Elizabeth's skill in revolvers will permanently go up by 1, meaning she permanently gets a +1 to shooting.

Or do anons just want me to continue with the Great Success you already have?
>>
>>1324711
I'm fine with a great success.
>>
>>1324711
Hold two of the revolvers above our head and fire from the upside down, the one we're holding will be fired properly. As we sway back and forth to slapping the gaurd under us we shout at the gaurds, calling them children, incapable of proper conduct in the face of a lady.
>>
>>1324718
Tit slapping*

God damn I hate phone posting. It's always a cacophony of errors.
>>
You begin to use your revolvers to suppress the enemy while your properly held revolver carefully aims...

You get one right in the kneecaps, and another one in the arm. Both are knocked out of the fight....

You hear muffled yelling from below you though, and that's when you sort of notice you've been knocking the guard beneath you around... His face seems quite bruised. You slightly blush at realizing you were... Well, kind of slapping him with your breasts. Hopefully he's alright...

With that done, you find your revolvers are out of ammo... So after some struggling you finally figure out how to reload them. Nice!

Elizabeth now has a single rank in Revolvers.

Of course you get off the battered and bruised guard, and slither up to the crystal...

Actions

>Nom the crystal. It looks delicious. (Get an upgrade!)
>Erh... Well, you were always taught to not eat random things. Just move on down deeper.
>Write-in
>>
>>1324733
Why do you phone post anon? Is that the only thing you can post on?
>>
>>1324754
You try sharing a computer In a cramped communist shithole on the west coast.
>>1324748
>Erh... Well, you were always taught to not eat random things. Take it with us.
>>
>>1324771
So you live either in Commiefornia or the People's Republic of Oregon, huh?

Anyways, you sure you want to just take it with you?
>>
>>1324748
>Erh... Well, you were always taught to not eat random things. Just move on down deeper.
>>
>>1324784
Yes. I have an idea.
>>
>>1324796
Mind if I ask what it is?
>>
>>1324799
We have a strange crystal that grants an upgrade in the possession of the fucking gnomes. Now I don't know about you, but that just screams item that can do a deal more than upgrade a person. I want to see what can be done to improve the kingdom. Powersource? Enhanced soldiers? Technological Advancement? We shall see.
>>
So do anons want to pry the crystal out or just move along?
>>
I'm just going to assume anons want to take the crystal.

You pry the crystal from floating in the air... It looks delicious, but you hold off eating it...

That's when the loudspeaker comes alive.

"WARNING, REACTOR ENERGY SOURCE LOW. SENDING CRYSTAL. SUPPLY IS LOW, PLEASE REQUISITION MORE MANA CRYSTALS."

A crystal floats down into the fading blue beam, giving it energy again.

Interesting.

Actions

>...Try to take this crystal as well?
>Eat this crystal?
>Continue on before you break something.
>... Throw something into the beam?
>Write-in
>>
>>1324875
How many more crystals can we carry?
>>
>>1324878
Well, I'd say eight maybe?
>>
>>1324886
Take it and get back to the detective the not-brit and the nigger faggot.
>>
>>1324886
Take this one too.
>>
You grab this crystal...

"EMERGENCY SUPPLIES NON-OPERATIONAL. POWER FAILING..."

The lights in the room begin to dim quite a bit... It seems the power might be non-operational now...

Actions

>Put a crystal back into the power. You'd like to have SOME lights.
>...Maybe you should sabotage this a bit...
>...Move as fast as you can. The guards might be coming down to see who's messing with their power!
>...Maybe you can overload the power systems if you put two crystals in at once?
>Write-in
>>
>>1324909
Out this crystal. I don't like the idea of something like cabin in the woods happening with gay nigger vampires running around.
>>
>>1324915
I mean put this crystal back,
>>
>>1324915

Out this crystal?

What does that even mean?
>>
>>1324909
>...Move as fast as you can. The guards might be coming down to see who's messing with their power!

It's time to get the fuck out! We're taking everything we stole!
>>
So unless anons can agree on what to do, I'll be rolling for what you'll do.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Put the crystal back!
2=Move as fast as possible!
>>
You take the two crystals, and make a slither for it!

You go as fast as possible down the hallway, and you see the door on your left seems open... One of those subject rooms...

Actions

>Rush by it! You have no time to wait!
>...Take a peek inside!
>...See about trying to go inside to save whoever's in there!
>Write-In
>>
>>1324985
>Rush by it! You have no time to wait!

We have to get to the others and get them out.
>>
>>1324996
You sure you want to rush right bacK? This is pretty much the heart of the operation and power has been shut off, and if you come back again this might be harder to get to.
>>
>>1325017
If that detective dies and we're the only ones who can say this happened, we can't go after those responsible, it would all be dismissed as the ramblings of a mad Queen. We go back with what we have or it's all for nothing.
>>
You continue to slither past, going as fast as you can...

It takes you a bit before you hear gunshots down the hallway, and you peek around the corner...

You see a squad of eight soldiers opening fire on the werewolf detective, supported by a heavy machine gun, and two others armed with shotguns... The people you rescued are no where to be seen, but the detective seems to be under a hell of a lot of fire. They seem content to suppress the detective though, who's hiding behind a steel metal beam.

Great.

Due to your fast reflexes, you take a peek out and notice a red pipe going near the machine-gunner, and with the word "VERY HOT" on it...

Hm.

Actions

>Nom those crystals for extra power!
>Shapeshift!
>...Fire at the red pipeline next to the machinegunner!
>Open fire on the soldiers!
>...Stealthily constrict the soldiers one by one.
>...Try to sneak into ventilation to attack from above! (+2 on staying concealed if your trying to be stealthy!)
>...Use a breath attack!
>...See about constricting and disarming a guard so you can get your hands on their automatic rifle!
>Write-In
>>
>>1325095
>...Fire at the red pipeline next to the machinegunner!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

Ignore my roll anon.
>>
>>1325095
>...Fire at the red pipeline next to the machinegunner!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

You pull out your revolver and shoot the pipeline... A explosion hits the soldier, knocking him to the other side of the wall, and drawing everyone's attention to it...

Ignore my next roll.
>>
The soldiers seem quite startled and unaware... And the fireball splits one soldier away from his friends vision for just a split moment...

Actions

>...Stealthily lunge, constrict, and pull back around the corner! (If successful, the enemy won't even know he's missing and will let you sneak attack again! +1 from reflexes!)
>...Shoot at him from behind! (+1 from Reflexes, but nothing unique happens!)
>...Add even more confusion to this! Fire breath! (Keeps the fireball going for a bit longer! Free Action you can combine with any other option!)
>...Try to take potshots through the fireball to the soldiers!
>Shapeshift while no one is looking at you!
>Slip up through ventilation!
>Write-In

The enemy currently does not know where you are at.
>>
>>1325157
>...Stealthily lunge, constrict, and pull back around the corner! (If successful, the enemy won't even know he's missing and will let you sneak attack again! +1 from reflexes!)
>...Add even more confusion to this! Fire breath! (Keeps the fireball going for a bit longer! Free Action you can combine with any other option!)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+8 to see if you can constrict this guy!

+3 if you can find a interesting way to constrict the soldier!
+2 if you can use your assets somehow so he won't make any noise!

If everything's done, the action will produce no noise.
>>
Rolled 17 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>1325195
>>
17+8=25

Great Success!

You lunge, and constrict the soldier, and pull back as fast as you can... You constrict him until you hear a crack and the metal man is disabled, and put him down softly...

You peek around the corner and see the rest of the metal men seem quite confused... Then they see you, exposed a bit... They prepare to fire. But the detective capitalizes on this by firing his revolver three times, headshotting the rest of the soldiers and killing them, basically.

You meet back up with him and begin to flee the base.

"So where is everyone?"

"On the surface. I came down here for you."

"Really?"

"Well, I got shot at, that sort of thing..."

You look at him, and he seems quite hurt actually... He seems to be limping with his leg and his paw seems to have a bullet in it... So of course, he seems to be using the wall to help him walk...

Which means he's much slower then you.

"...Are you going to be alright?"

"Not the first time I got shot before... Hard to... Walk though."

Actions

>...You didn't have to come back for me, you know. I would of catched up.
>...I erh... Well... Thank you for coming to see if I was alright.
>...Use Gwynevere's healing breath on him?
>...Why don't I carry you back, alright?
>So why did you come back for me anyways? We scarcely know each other...
>Write-In
>>
>>1325294
>...Use Gwynevere's healing breath on him?
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5 to heal him!

+2 if you can show your appreciation for him coming back to help you, or mention how you can handle yourself.
+2 if Gwynevere can slightly talk about how much fun it was. And how no one was hurt for once! And how sexy the two of you are in this form.
+2 if you can worry about him a bit. (+1 if you can stop yourself from being maternal towards him. People don't like being coddled like babies... Save those little cute kobolds. And your children.)

If everything happens, the detective's opinion will go up.
>>
Rolled 4 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1325354
>>
Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>1325354
>>
Allowing samefagging if you can show your appreciation or just mention how you can handle yourself, and if Gwynevere can talk about how much fun it was. And how no one was technically hurt too much, and how sexy she and you are in this form.
>>
Rolled 13 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>1325433
Well thanks, I probably would have been swarmed if you hadn't come back. Your a model swede.
>>
If anons can get a +3 bonus it'll be a minor success, and if they can do all of the bonuses it'll be a good success.

I really do recommend upgrading Gwynevere's healing breath in the future by the way. It's not too good on heavy injuries but great for many smaller ones.
>>
>>1325551
+3 Offer him a rank in the court for that plus three, we could always use an Inquisitor.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

"Well, really... Thank you for coming back. I probably would of been swarmed if you didn't. Your a model... Swede?"

"I"m German. Did you forget or something?"

"No, no... Come on Gwynevere, can you heal him already?"

She breathes her healing breath, which helps patch up his body. He seems a bit faster, but still rather disabled.

"...Thanks... Come on, let's get out of here..."

You begin to slither as fast as you can while he jogs...

Ignore my roll.
>>
You begin to head back to where that stair-case heading up was...

You however, have bullets fly above and around you, and hear howling down the hallway... More of those abominations seem to be running after you, a good distance away, but they'll catch up fast...

"Shit, I don't know if we'll make it..."

"Come on, we can do it!"

The detective seems clearly out of breath, and you fire a few ineffective shots at your pursuers... They're beginning to catch up with your long body... God, this isn't good...

Actions

>...Shift to a different form fast!
>...Try to duck in to a ventilation shaft!
>Try to ambush them!
>Focus on running away!
>Write-in
>>
>>1325702
>...Shift to a different form fast!
No more finesse! Time for brute power and move speed! Charge out of the building in draginotaur form, and scoop up the gay and not Brit while we are at it!
>>
Your still underground, your just about to get the stairwell to the basement's wine keg.
>>
>>1325702
>>...Shift to a different form fast!
To be honest we leave the gay behind. Maybe the British cereal mascot too.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

You shift to your dragotaur form, grabbing the detective as you begin to gain speed and lower your horns in a sort of charge...

You go to the stairs, but rather then going up it, your confident your too big for it... So you break through the stairs and jump up to the next floor carefully...

Rolling.
>>
The abominations get crushed or left behind with the destruction of the stairwell, and you rush as fast as you can outside, breaking out of a door to see the homosexual and a highly confused Hendrick asking why "He's been kidnapped", why he's holding a box of cereal, and where his family is.

It seems Hendrick has fully recovered, and you scoop the two up before charging off as fast as possible.

Due to Elizabeth gaining more experience, having plenty of fun, and successfully adventuring, she has upgraded.

Choose one anons.

>Stable Mutation
>Unstable Mutation
>Ultra Unstable Mutation
>Upgrade Mutation
>Upgrade Form.
>>
>>1325791
>Upgrade Mutation
>>
>>1325791
>Upgrade Mutation
>>
Choose what to upgrade anons.

>Fire Breath.
>Ice Breath
>Healing Breath.
>Two-Headed. (Requires 2 upgrade points invested!)
>Maternal
>Naturally Attractive
>Shapeshifting. (Requires 3 upgrade points!)
>Enlargen Size! (Requires 3 upgrade points!)
>Choose a different upgrade!

If anons want to eat the two upgrade crystals they have, they'd have two more upgrade points.
>>
>>1325883
>Healing Breath.
I think we should save the mana crystals.
>>
>>1325892
This.
>>
Elizabeth's healing breath is now much better!

She can heal grievous wounds much easier, and cure sicknesses easier! She can also stop bleeding!

You take some breaths as you try to recuperate in the forest... You've gotten out of the way of the Gnomes or whatever... And rescued two people.

"So... Any idea where we are?"

"No... I honestly don't."

"Well, I guess I'll start a fire for us... Actually, scratch that. We don't know if they're following us or not."

"That's... Right."

"We could probably just choose a direction and eventually end up near civilization... Not too sure which direction the mansion was though."

"Yeah, same..."

You sit on the ground.

"...Hey, you know, you saved my ass back there. And gave me a great view, I gotta admit. Now, got a question for you. A serious one." He looks extremely serious...

"What?"

"...Do you like your beef jerky rare or well done?"

He gives a smile as you shake your head at his wise-crack.

"Anyways, I can probably get us back to civilization easy. I have a great nose... But really, you did damn well. Too bad we couldn't get everyone though."

"Yeah... Maybe next time."

"Yep."

He sits next to you.

"...Anyways, you want to come up with the plan for our next date?" He gives one of his wise-crack smiles again, and you shake your head.

"We're not dating. I'm married."

"Heh, I know, I know. Just messing with you. Gotta undermine that confidence, you know. But really, what's the plan for next time?"

Actions

>...Well, as soon as we find ourselves back in civilization, I say we call the army to clear the mansion out.
>...I say we head in again soon. That was fun!
>...Maybe we should call the kobolds. They're probably great at this sort of thing.
>...I think my husband should deal with this.
>...But seriously, can you stop with that whole "charismatic detective" approach to me? I have the news looking for any scandal they can on me, and if they think I'm cheating on my husband... It'd really hurt me, alright?
>You know, you were really good yourself... Really though, thanks for coming back for me... It meant a lot. (Increase the opinion of the detective!)
>Write-In
>>
>>1326016
>...Maybe we should call the kobolds. They're probably great at this sort of thing.
>>
>>1326016

>...Well, as soon as we find ourselves back in civilization, I say we call the army to clear the mansion out.
>>
So do anons want to call the more experienced kobolds or send their own men?
>>
>>1326016

>...Well, as soon as we find ourselves back in civilization, I say we call the army to clear the mansion out.

I'm finally back from shit
>>
>>1326142
*insert joke about India*
>>
>>1326142
>>1326171
Was there traffic on Roo street?
>>
>>1326178
>>1326171
No I was busy with some other quest.
Because of shit I had to skip breakfast.
What happened ate up my entire day
>>
"Well, as soon as we find ourselves back in civilization, I'm calling the army to clear the mansion out."

"Right."

The detective eventually tracks down a nearby diner not too far, which all of you quickly go into and order some food at. And get comfortable.

That's when you sort of remember accidently leaving the vampire behind when you transformed... Whoops. Oh well.

Fucking vampires always stealing your husband...

You of course, call up the army not too long afterward on the phone.

What division do you want to call anons?

>...Try one of Renexizious's personal regiments. They should be very effective.
>Call up those adorable little kobolds... Hopefully none of those little guys gets hurt.
>Call the draftees up... All the trained soldiers are in Vietnam or Korea. Some draftees will do.
>...Well, you might as well call in the best. How about Her Royal Majesty's Marines? They'll get here fast! Or oh, the Royal Commandos? Those too!
>You know... You know just the perfect man for the job. Call up Claw.
>...Maybe Charlemagne can lead this battle. Call him.
>Hold off for home.
>Write-In
>>
>>1326219
>Call up those adorable little kobolds... Hopefully none of those little guys gets hurt.
This Gerbils character is probably some sort of war criminal to the Kobolds and giving them information about him can be good for relations. Also it would probably be Kobolds dying in order to take this place and not our own troops.
>>
>>1326219
>...Well, you might as well call in the best. How about Her Royal Majesty's Marines? They'll get

The Queen has willed it.
>>
>>1326237
Call them too joint ops.
>>
>>1326219
>Call up those adorable little kobolds... Hopefully none of those little guys gets hurt.

And the royal commandos too
>>
>>1326250
I it might be better for the Kobolds to take this since they're probably more experienced with this type of stuff. Less casualties as a whole.
>>
>>1326268
And how else do the queens navy learn to fight save from experience?
>>
>>1326311
Training
>>
>>1326317
Does not substitute for actual combat experience.
>>
You call up the Royal Commandos, and the marines... They head to the nearest port of call while you call up the embassy.

"Excuse me, this is the embassy, correct?"

"Oh, yes it is. The Roman Embassy at your service."

"Well, I was wondering if you knew anything about a gnome called Gerbils..."

"Gerbils? Erh... Hang on."

You hear him get out a file, and a few moments go by.

"Well, Gerbils Theomanary, correct? Supreme Mayor?"

"Yes, I believe that's him."

"Really? Would you like to talk to the Legate himself in person about this matter, Queen Elizabeth?"

Actions

>Oh, yes I would. Could you arrange a meeting between him and me?
>...Well, I don't think that's necessary...
>...Could he come here rather then me going to him?
>Could I have some background on Gerbils first though, please?
>Write-In
>>
>>1326352
>...Could he come here rather then me going to him?
>>
>tfw surrounded by beautiful tits but they're all related and you find the very idea disgusting.
>>
>>1326352
>Oh, yes I would. Could you arrange a meeting between him and me?

>>1326380
If it makes you feel any better, people like the Roman emperor Claudius who conquered Britain and was overall a good guy married his niece.
>>
>>1326380
Are you at a family meeting or something anon?
>>
>>1326393
Degenerate.
>>
>>1326393
Absolutely degenerate.

>>1326405
Sure. Quick question, what tactics are our forces trained in?
>>
>>1326406
I'm just saying. Some respectable people throughout history who aren't Hitler have had such a taboo fetish.
>>
"Oh, yes I would... But could he come here please?"

"He'll be there within two hours. Just sit tight please. He'll also be bringing bodyguards."

You thank him and hang up, and go over to the detective.

"So, mind if I ask who you called?"

"Oh, just the kobolds and the Marines... And commandos."

"Really? Oh... Erh, wait... What's a kobold?"

You can't help but put on a smile.

"They're an adorable little lizard race, practically harmless... But just so cute, especially the legate, he's so senstive when I give him a great big hug and say hello to him."

"Erh... You don't give hugs to say hi. If so, you would of given it to me."

"...Only a select few people. Which most of those..."

"All of them, is what she means to say.

"Gwynevere, what did I say about interrupting me and putting words in my mouth?"

"She's right though... They're really adorable and small."

"See? Even Gwynevere agrees."

"Erh... Right... That two-head thing I heard about..."

"She's the sexually deprived one, and I'm the better one." Both of you say at once.

The detective seems entertained.

"God, well, alright. Just don't coddle me or anything."

"Elizabeth can't promise that."

"I don't do that to most people, God..."

"Just the ones who can't resist?"

"...A little. Mostly the kids though."

"Mostly. Right. Anyways, can we have food? Please? I'm starving."

You of course order some more food while you relax, and eat quite a bit. The werewolf gives you a bit of a stare.

"...Erh... You sure you should be eating that much?"

"What? I'm fine."

"You've had at least twenty hamburgers. You should probably stop."

"...Well, I'm still hungry, alright? I just have to eat more then most people."

A little concerned, he nods his head.

"Why the hell don't they sell whiskey here..." He mutters a bit.

"Well, the Legate should be here soon.

"I hope. Anyways, I'm going outside for a smoke."

Actions

>...Well, why don't we stay and talk a bit, alright?
>Well, have fun. I'll just wait.
>...Can you take the gay negro out with you, please?
>Write-In
>>
>>1326500
>...Can you take the gay negro out with you, please?
Tell Dietrich that if he annoys him, he has permission to shoot him.

Also shapeshift into our Half-Dragon form.
>>
>>1326540
This, all of it.
>>
You shift to your half-dragon form.

"...Just to note, if he does annoy you you can shoot him. Please."

"Really?"

Actions

>No, no. That's a joke. Please don't.
>...I'd have you know I'm a very conservative woman. So please do if he does. (Elizabeth becomes less tolerant of homosexuals.)
>My husband is a bit liberal when it comes to this. I'm not. Could you take him around the back and please put him out of his misery? (Elizabeth's conservative nature is a bit more forceful and she'll be very intolerant of homosexuals.)
>What? That was a joke! We can just take him to a sanatorium. I heard that electro-shock therapy works wonders.
>Write-In
>>
>>1326592
>Yes. That's not a joke. Please do if he doesn't keep shut and isn't respectful.
>>
>>1326592
>What? That was a joke! We can just take him to a sanatorium. I heard that electro-shock therapy works wonders.

Suck a cock take a shock.
>>
>>1326592

>No, no. That's a joke. Please don't.
Shock therapy won't work.
>>
>>1326646
You sure about that? I still think we should get the clamps.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

"...Well, it is. Sort of..."

"Erh... Right, I guess." He says, a bit confused. He goes outside to smoke.

Ignore my roll.
>>
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33 KB
33 KB PNG
>>1326696
I can't ignore that. Either something very good or very bad has just happened.
>>
Rolled 6, 19, 19, 18, 5 = 67 (5d20)

After a bit, you hear the doors open... It seems the legate has arrived safely.

As soon as he sees you, he is a bit struck with fear. Only a bit though. You go up to him, with a smile on your face.

"Oh, you little rascal, I was wondering when you were going to get here."

"It's erh... It's nice to see you too. Please don't pick me u-"

You pick him up, with a big crushing hug. He squirms a bit.

"Please stop."

"Oh, right, right. Sorry."

You set him down, with a faked apology. And give him a pat on the head.

"So erh... I heard you encountered Supreme Mayor Gerbil, correct?"

"Encoutnered? How did you know that?"

"Because I've had kobold kommandos watching that place you entered for weeks... Wasn't too sure if it was actually his hiding spot. Thank you for finding it though."

"I see... Why don't we sit at the booth?"

"I'd assume that we have plenty to talk about?"

"Oh, yes we do."

You sit, and tell a waitress to bring him a sundae, and you begin to explain the situation to him...

Ignore my roll again anons.
>>
>>1326702
Ignore it like a good little goyim.
>>
After a minute, you notice that the detective isn't exactly where he is anymore... He's sort of... Well, he's gone for some reason. Stopped smoking, maybe. Maybe in the restroom.

Either way, you continue to introduce the situation to him... That's erh... You hear somesort of chopping noise though.

Within an instant, the windows all around the diner shatter, and heavily armed and armored soldiers, jump into the diner, and begin to shoot at civilian, kobold, and you. You of course push the table up to try and prevent bullets from hitting you. The legate however, is not amused, and quickly ducks and you see him quickly take out a radio.

"We have gnomes and civilians, damn it! I need a civilian rescue team and a pair of Heavy Praetorian, now! Situation is dire!"

He puts it away, and tosses somesort of smoke bomb as you take a glance out there...

You however, hear a familiar set of revolvers being fired... The detective seems to be in the middle of this chaos firing and getting civilians out.

The carnage caused in this ambush luckily has harmed none of the civilians, and most are evacuating... It seems however the soldiers have taken hostages as a few are tied up, and in the chaos most of the legate's men are injured or dead. Two of them are in cover but badly injured...

However... The window behind you gets shattered, and your face to face with one of the undead abominations, who grabs the legate from behind, disarming him with a fluid motion and quickly plucking him away before you can react!

Shit!

As you poke your head up, you see the detective is under a hell of a lot of fire, as his cover's being whittled away... And what you think to be a flamethrower approaches his position... Meanwhile, the legate's been plucked away... You'll only be able to save one...

Actions

>...Try to help the detective! He's going to be killed!
>The legate needs your help! Try to save him!
>Try to do something to try and save both of them!
>Shapeshift (Note that this will not be completed in time to save either of them.)
>Write-In
>>
>>1326655
No it does not work.
I'm absolutely sure as a No-fun Nerd.
>>1326786
>Try to do something to try and save both of them!
>>
>>1326786
>The legate needs your help! Try to save him!
>>
>>1326786
>Try to do something to try and save both of them!

We still have the revolvers right? Shoot the tank on the one with the flamethrower and pelt the undead with headshots from the second.
>>
I love how every character, even the civilians made their save, but the detective and the legate failed.

Also, note that you'll suffer a large -4 penalty to trying to save both of them if you do that, and if you do fail both will suffer.

Also, shooting the tank on the flamethrower will likely injure or kill nearby civilians and set the building on fire.
>>
>>1326827
Then headshots all around, let's try for the double. God save the Queen!
>>
You try to save both of them!

Roll me a 1d20+2 to try and save the detective!

+2 if you can try to make this shot fancy.
+1 if Elizabeth can be very angry about the gnomes trying to kill the detective, who's... Well, I guess her friend now.

Also, do anons want to shapeshift after these two rolls?
>>
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1326867
>>
>>1326867
Spin the revolvers around our fingers when we draw and shout out in rage. "That does it! To secure the future of swedish children every last gnome will be wiped from the face of the earth!"

>>1326877
Nice roll.
>>
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>1326867
Try to do that flashy thing where they spin their guns before shooting.
Then after we make the shot blow on the smoking barrels.


Also fuck the Nazi Gnomes.
They are a pain in the ass not to mention amoral and sketchy af
>>
>>1326899
God damn it man. Gnomes are actively making gay nigger vampires. Literally jew shit.
>>
>>1326909
>Literally jew shit
I don't have a anti-Semitic bone in my body.
So no I don't consider it jew shit.

Plus the nazi's probably had ties to the gnomes
>>
15+5=20

Good Success!

You headshot the flamethrower and kill him. He hits the ground and the detective fires a few more shots towards the others.

Now, for the legate...

Roll me a 1d20. (-2 from the Abomination being very tough to kill!)

+2 if you can try to find a way to kill it very, very fast!
+1 if Elizabeth can draw slightly on her scottish anger. (Or unleash her inner German Nazi thoughts.)
+1 if Elizabeth can think maternally and protectively about the legate kobold, and be angry about the gnomes massacring the innocent kobolds!
+1 if she can also find a way to safely (and maternally) grab the legate when you kill the abomination.
>>
Rolled 17 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>1326929
Do what McCree does.
Fan the hammer.

>Her inner german nazi thoughts
Fuck
Right
Outta here

>Damn them for attacking the small and the weak. The gnomes have gone too far. I'm not going to allow them to harm the legate.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>1326924
But there's no eveidence for Gnomes collaboratorig with Nazis.
>>
Rolled 5 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>1326929
Charge after it and shove the barrel into it's eyesocket before firing.

>+1 if Elizabeth can think maternally and protectively about the legate kobold, and be angry about the gnomes massacring the innocent kobolds!
Scream about using the gnomes heads as cups for the ice cream were getting the precious little kobolds.
>>
>>1326955
It's mostly theoretical but
>Gerbils
>Nazi's having advanced technology, and magic way ahead of their time.
Not to mention that crystal we grabbed from the nazi bunker.

No way they just stumbled on all of this.

I have a feeling the gnomes were using the nazi's or in collaboration
>>
We're gonna round up every gnome and literally work them to death! And when they can't work anymore turn them into shampoo!
>>
>>1326989
I just thought Gerbils was a funny name.
>>
>>1326989
I think it's more likely the gnomes are approprating the Nazis tech after they failed to exterminate the pint sized bastards.
>>
>>1327013
I think it's the other way around mostly because as the kobolds are very ahead in the sense of war tech the gnomes would have to have been just as good to keep up.

Gnomes and kobolds have been sharpening each other forever.
That's how I think they got so far
>>
Also if the Nazi's are really behind all serious shit.
That makes them bigger jews than jews if you really wanna think that way.
>>
What part of gnomes=(kikes+midgits)*satan/aanything_redemable do you not understand? Nazis are an improvement by comparison.
>>
You charge after it, and jam the revolver right into it's eye, and fire a shot which blows its brain out. It falls over, quite dead, and the legate begins to stand up, and thanks you profusely.

"Thank you for saving me... I scarcely could believe what the Gnomes would of done to me if they captured me... Now, reinforcements should be here any second now."

"...But aren't they all the way in Stockholm?"

"Kommandos and Praetorians were on standby in case something happened... You'll see them in action... In fact, I think the Praetorians beat the Kommandos this time."

You look behind you to see some... Extremely heavily armored suits... Kobolds, it seems. They're only slightly smaller then humans, and very heavily armored, and bear heavy weaponry which you cannot identify.

"Praetorians at the ready sir! Where do you need us!" Their leader gives a roman salute, which is a bit disturbing to the legate... Their captain or Centurion seems to be identified by a regal red cape on the back of their armor, with plenty of medals... They're also highly decorated in gold and what you believe to be platinum. There only seems to be three of them however.

The legate turns to some highly camouflaged kobold soldiers which you didn't even notice... They seem to lack armor, but seem armed with shotguns, somesort of pistol with a scope on it, and a... Large amount of explosives, actually.

"Alright everyone, listen up. We have civilians inside being held captive, and a few wounded. We only have a few minutes before the Gnomes bug out in air support, and it's very likely they'll call in a air strike if we stick around for too long or worse. We need to use fast and heavy tactics, so the Praetorians will draw their fire while the Kommandos flank with their silenced weaponry, and fire upon their flank while their back is turned. Once the enemy is engaged from both directions and coralled towards the center of the room to prevent retreat, a strategic charge will be done and we will close with the enemy, hopefully breaking their resolve and morale. Our enemy have neglected to use their laser weaponry, and instead simple ballistics, meaning that this will more or less be a training op for you all. Everyone understand?"

Everyone nods their head.

"Now, for you Queen... Would you prefer to hold back or fight with us?"

Huh.

Actions

>...I think I'll just watch from a distance, dears.
>Oh, don't you all worry, I can handle this easily on my own...
>...You know I'm a dragon. I can always "take care" of their air support quite easily. So hopefully we can plan this out more without rushing in to our deaths.
>...Are you all sure you should be charging in?
>...Why don't we negotiate with them? They have hostages...
>Shapeshift?
>Try to add to the tactical plan?
>Write-In
>>
>>1327145
The part that sounded like an old meme
>>
>>1327149
>...You know I'm a dragon. I can always "take care" of their air support quite easily. So hopefully we can plan this out more without rushing in to our deaths.

ROYALS WHO ACTUALLY DO SHIT!
>>
>>1327149
>...You know I'm a dragon. I can always "take care" of their air support quite easily. So hopefully we can plan this out more without rushing in to our deaths.
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>>1327149
>...You know I'm a dragon. I can always "take care" of their air support quite easily. So hopefully we can plan this out more without rushing in to our deaths.
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"I'm a dragon you know. I can take care of their air support quite easily. So why don't we plan this out more, all of us?"

"...I have to say, you dragons are... Very useful then. Perhaps those claims of you being related to us might be true, as certainly your race has been very helpful."

The Legate's opinion has been improved further... And he seems impressed by your race somewhat.

The legate and his men plan it out in further detail... The Praetorian will go to suppress the enemy so they'll take cover in the bar, while the Kommandos try to rescue the civilians, then toss flashbangs into the bar and kitchen so they can storm in and either take the enemy captive or shoot them, while the Praetorians will make sure hostile Abominations don't attack... And any Mechs stay far and away.

You have no idea what Mech is, but hopefully it's nothing too powerful...

Actions

>...Actually, maybe you should ask what a "mech" is.
>...This seems like a good plan. Support it!
>Try to add a suggestion to the plan?
>...Does the Legate know these men are robots? You might want to tell him that.
>...Why don't you suggest not taking any prisoners.
>...There's no time to be wasting. You should cover your job and make sure air support doesn't arrive.
>...Thank the Kobolds for prioritizing the lives fo your civilians and not doing anything risky or stupid or involving high-grade explosives.
>...Maybe you should slightly support for dragon-kobold kinship.
>Bring up the detective!
>...Have they ever fought a werewolf abomination before? You might want to point this out that the abominations are werewolves.
>Write-in
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>>1327212

>...Actually, maybe you should ask what a "mech" is.
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>>1327212
>...Actually, maybe you should ask what a "mech" is.
>...Maybe you should slightly support for dragon-kobold kinship.
If it's not too much to ask, can you post pic of what a mech looks like.
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>>1327212
>...This seems like a good plan. Support it!

>Bring up the detective!
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>>1327241
A MAGAsuit minus the Awoo.
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>>1327252
Ha hahahaha
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>>1327241
I'll show you once you encounter one. They're large, by the way.

"So... What exactly is this "mech" anyways?"

"Mobile armor platforms, Tanks on feet, that sort of thing. Long range artillery, rockets, machine guns... It's a damned hard thing to take down."

"Oh... Well, this seems like a good plan. But you forgot about the detective."

"I suppose we should help him then..."

He of course strategically puts emphasis on supporting the detective... While you sort of support the dragon-kobold kinship....

Well...

Actually, do you?

Actions

>No, no. You don't have any time to waste!
>Well, of course! It's very important to stress this...
>...Maybe after the battle, when you can celebrate with a victory hug with all the little kobolds... And try to help the hurt ones.
>Write-In

Also, for actually trying to convince the kobolds that dragons and kobolds are related, the "doing everything" bonus is that you'll have enough time to react to enemy air support.
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>>1327299
>No, no. You don't have any time to waste!
>...Maybe after the battle, when you can celebrate with a victory hug with all the little kobolds... And try to help the hurt ones.
At least the healing part
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>>1327299
>No, no. You don't have any time to waste!
>...Maybe after the battle, when you can celebrate with a victory hug with all the little kobolds... And try to help the hurt ones.
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>>1327305
>>1327332
These. Let's save Sweden, one dead communis-Gnome at a time!
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You decide to do it after the battle.

Meanwhile, you hide in the forest, observing where the air support might come from...

It's not long until you notice a helicopter in the distance coming this way... It's low to the ground, and seems to be carrying no armaments you can see.

Actions

>...Intercept it now!
>...Wait for it to fly overhead to pick up a few enemies... Then intercept it. (Chance of injuring civilians and the detective if you do crash it!)
>...Wait for it to fly overhead to pick everyone up, THEN intercept it. (Will hurt civilians but unlikely to hurt the detective. Might hurt a kobold or two.)
>Write-In
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>>1327346
Are the gnomes really communist or are you just memeing again
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>>1327347
>...Intercept it now!
It might be a automated or remote controlled jihad chopper.
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>>1327347
>...Intercept it now!

I was memeing but, QM what ideology do these fucking midgets hold?
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