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File: ADMIRAL KNOWS KUNG FU.jpg (717 KB, 1000x900)
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ARCHIVES: OOPS
TWITTER: YOU KNOW WHERE IT FUCKIN IS

At some indeterminate time on some indeterminate day in the indeterminate future, you, Rear Admiral (lower half) Ryan Settle find yourself at your desk with *nothing to do.*

For a single long minute, the sheer delicious novelty steals over you in a tide of euphoria. The creak of your chair as you recline luxuriously is a sweet song of victory, the brilliant, clean white expanse of an empty inbox contributing an apropos sense of Zen. When you were still struggling for rank your one luxury was waking up in the middle of the night so you could roll over and go back to sleep - and even that meager surcease packed up and hiked to Gilead when you gained your own command. Going into this assignment you knew full well that the world has been thrust into a new and terrifying age; where the legends and terrors that have lurked in mariner's hearts for countless ages have manifested full and terrible to haunt every corner of the globe. An era where all man's pretensions of grandeur and scientific sophistication had been stripped away, leaving him to fight bare, with only his wits and inviolate will to see him through. An age of nightmares that walk and fish that talk.

But an admiral with a free minute at 1400 hours? That, you did not see coming.

And just like that, the spell is gone, evaporating like a midsummer dream as the cold, clammy certainty of the Navy man born and raised swirls in your gut. As with all nice things you have ever had, it's too good to be true. Something always happens. Assassination attempts, arguments, abyssal attacks, another pencil-pusher paperwork crisis, or Naka backsliding *again.* Always Naka, motoring along like the stupid little cruiser that couldn't. Her belt armor's thin, but her head could stop 16/50'' super-heavies. But every time you finally snap and try to cram some sense into the little bollio bint she just whips out a mirror and thrusts it at you shouting something about rubber and glue. The fact that it actually works is what pisses you off the most - probably more of her newfound spoopy siren powers at work.

That's got to be it, yeah.

You take a few seconds to let your heart slow down, rigidly putting your mental house in order. You've got so many fucking Damocles swords overhead that the bastards probably have their own ATC squawk reserved. At the end of the day, there's only one way to deal with such things - face-down, head-on, pushing through.

It's time to find out why the Inbox of Sisyphus has ceased its torrent of woe.

It is finally time to meet your staff.

[ ] THIS IS A SNEAKING MISSION, SNAKE
[ ] Walk right through the front doors. In the words of a great man, you don't need no appointment. This is an *emergency.*
[ ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.

>BONUS

[ ] Want to bring a shipgirl? Is there a shipgirl who refuses NOT to witness this moment? Write-in.
>>
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>>1100688
>[ ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
>Bring Willie and Naka
>>
>>1100688
>[ ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
>[ ] Want to bring a shipgirl? Is there a shipgirl who refuses NOT to witness this moment? Write-in.
Bring Willie. She'll attract all the spitballs and knives sent your way when you step in.
>>
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>>1100688
>[ ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
Why is this even a question

Also

>[ ] Bring Arizona
Because might kill us if we don't
>>
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>>1100688
>[ ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
>Staff ends up being more shipgirls
>>
>>1100688
>[ ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
>>
>>1100688

[x] THIS IS A SNEAKING MISSION, SNAK
>>
>>1100688

[Z] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.

[X] Want to bring a shipgirl? Is there a shipgirl who refuses NOT to witness this moment? Write-in.

HORNET, GET HORNET. HORNET WILL NOW HOW TO TERRORIZE THEM.
>>
>>1100688
>[X] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
>Bring Willie
>>
[x] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
[x] Willie and Naka
Holy shit it's actually up. I wasn't expecting this before next December.
>>
>>1100688
[ ] Walk right through the front doors. In the words of a great man, you don't need no appointment. This is an *emergency.*

[ ] Want to bring a shipgirl? Is there a shipgirl who refuses NOT to witness this moment? Write-in.
Shoukaku or Higgins.
>>
>>1100688
>[X ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.

>Bring Naka
>>
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>>1100688
>[x] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
>[x] Willie. She likes donuts and is also an effective wildcard should things go wrong.
>[x] Naka. She is your secretary and has has probably already formed a secret cabal with your staff anyways.
>>
>>1100688
[x] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.

[x] Want to bring a shipgirl? > Willie
>>
>>1100688
>[X] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
>Willie and Arazona
>>
>>1100688
>[ ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.

Also
>[ ] Bring Arizona
>>
>>1100688
>[ ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.

Donuts heal all wounds.

Bring Arizona,
>>
>>1100688
Hey.

HEY.

GO FUCK YOURSELF I'M FINE.
>>
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>>1100753
Murder loli inferior. Cuplord of the Round Table superior.
>>
>>1100765

>You
>Fine mentally

yeah, good fucking joke
>>
>An admiral with nothing to do
LIES.
[ ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
Bring Arizona.
>>
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>>1100688
>Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.

>Want to bring a shipgirl? Is there a shipgirl who refuses NOT to witness this moment? Write-in.
Tenryuu. Wow them with your swordfighting prowess.
>>
>>1100688
>[ ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
and
>[ ] Want to bring a shipgirl? Is there a shipgirl who refuses NOT to witness this moment? Write-in.
Willie, Arizona, and Aoba.
>>
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>>1100765
>>
>>1100755
Changing my shipgirl vote to Willie and Naka
>>
[X] Donuts
[X] Willie and Naka
>>
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>>1100765
>>1100782
>mfw I realize we're all floating up shit creek together and now we're just arguing over who dropped the fucking paddle
>>
>>1100688
[x] THIS IS A SNEAKING MISSION, SNAKE
[x] Kaga
>>
>>1100804

You two might be floating up shit creek.

I'm a fucking raider. I been in this bitch since the headwaters.
>>
>>1100736
>Higgins
I don't think we can fit a Burke inside the office brah
Higgins ain't a shipwoman (yet) brah
>>
>>1100806

SHE'S FAS-

wait she only made 27 knots
>>
>>1100688
[x] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
[x] Arizona. She likes donuts and is also reliable sif things go wrong.
[x] Naka. She is your secretary and has has probably already formed a secret cabal with your staff anyways.
>>
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>>1100804
>>1100811
There was no paddle to begin with
>>
>>1100811
Naka and Settle ran you over as you tried to crawl back upstream to get out?
>>
>>1100688
>>1100753
>[x] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
>[x] Willie. She likes donuts and is also an effective wildcard should things go wrong.
>[x] Naka. She is your secretary and has has probably already formed a secret cabal with your staff anyways.
>>
>>1100826

Pretty fucking much. Wasn't my fucking idea to be on a Burke when this all popped the fuck off, ya know?
>>
>>1100688
>[x] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
>>BONUS
>[x] Shokaku

I feel like pissing against the tide
>>
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Fuck >>1100782
YOU
with
>>1100804
YOU

USING yourSELF AS A CONDOM

IN A GREAT BIG ROWBOAT MADE OF FUCKING STARS AND BARS AND STRAPS AND JAPS

FUCK YOU IN A CANOE

FUCK YOU AT SEA, FUCK YOU BY AIR, AND THE CORGIS CAN COME ALONG AND WATCH TOO, WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU GETS THE JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER CAN BE CAPTAIN FOR A DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

wain im gonig to fucnkg kill ypu
>>
>>1100688
>[ X ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
>[ X ] Essex
Because every time we take our eyes off of her she does something insane that we could have stopped. As we've seen earlier, telling her to fucking stop it should work if anything comes up.
>>
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>>1100811
>I LOVE HOW THIS SUCKS
>I WISH THIS WOULD SUCK MORE
>I WISH I HAD A SNORKEL SO I COULD BRINGBRING CRASH DIVE INTO THIS SUCK

k
>>
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>>1100812
Yet. It's only a matter of time before she wants to MAKE THEM WHOLE AGAIN by snusnu.
>>
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>>1100688
>[x] THIS IS A SNEAKING MISSION, SNAKE
i reckon we can't actually sneak up on them conventionally, you could hear our 'boss approaching' signature with your fingers in your ears, and they'd stow all the interesting stuff as soon as they heard the clicking cane and the scowl so long-held it makes our face creak.
but we could start a shipstorm as a distraction.
>>
>>1100831
But you weren't on the Burke. You were on a RHIB when the shit hit the fan.
>>
>>1100816
I want Kaga to suffer the terror that is Dadmiral Settle, the lamest geek in the Navy.

>>1100838
You can probably get both at once at this point.
>>
>>1100688

[x] DONUTS YOU SHITTY ADMIRAL

[x] BRING ARI. She will kill us even though she's our bodyguard when we aren't being a gay sailor with Hamp.
>>
>>1100688
Also
https://twitter.com/planefag
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Kant-O-Celle%20Quest
https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/kant-o-celle-quest-a-kantai-collection-game-transcribed-from-4chan.345865/
>>1100837
Something on your mind?
>>
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SISTER SARA WHEN
>>
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>>1100837
Someone restrain that aidoru before she starts singing Kaga Misaki while drunk
>>
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>>1100840
>>
>>1100858
You have your twitter wank and romance au fixfic for that though
>>
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>>1100860
BOURBON

WAIN WANTED TO 'TESTE ABYSMAL PHYSIOLOGY' BY GETTING ME FUCKING PLASTERED

GUESS WAHT

IT FUCNKG WORKED
>>
>>1100688
>[ ] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
>[ ] Want to bring a shipgirl? Is there a shipgirl who refuses NOT to witness this moment? Write-in.
Sammy, because the reaction of having donuts delivered to them by an admiral and a DE who both are possibly (probably) batshit insane would be hilarious to see.
>>
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>>1100765

>I'm fine!

I can smell the bullshit all the way from America.

You aren't fooling anyone.
>>
>>1100837

Hey! You found the capslock key! Good going.

>>1100840

Fuck I shoulda died in the desert.

Wait maybe I did and this is Hel. shitfuck.

>>1100854

listen here you pedantic little fuck.
>>
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>>1100837
>Swallow it
>FUCK YOU AT SEA, FUCK YOU BY AIR

somewhere there's a blues song in this about a Bollio bint that tried to sell her soul at the Crossroads to get a clue but not even that worked

pardon lemme get some cold beer to drink out of the bottle
>>
[X] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.
>>
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>>1100883
I CAPS LOCK

YOU LAPS COCK

STOP FUCKING GROWLER BOTTLES THAT'S NOT WHAT THEY MEAN BY 'JARHEAD'
>>
>>1100879
Sounds like legitimate science to me, yep.
The real question is how the hangover's gonna be.
>>
I will be posting boatpics later, kinda busy now.
>>
>>1100879
Did he at least spring for the good stuff, or did he just give you some Jim Beam?
>>
>>1100858
Is it really fair to subject him to that, though?
>>
>>1100891
>radical larry.jpg
>>
>>1100688
>[X] Donuts. Enough donuts will paper over any first meet and greet.

>[X] Want to bring a shipgirl? Is there a shipgirl who refuses NOT to witness this moment? Write-in.
Arizona

Slice of life is GO
>Select all images with Boats
Captcha is sentient and no one can prove otherwise
>>
>>1100837
OK, either Naka is a mean drunk, or Harder got his hands on her computer.
>>
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>>
>>1100891

How fucking original. Yamato insults me better than that, fuck.
>>
>>1069173
>>1069185
>>1069207
>>1069219
>>1069234
>>1069242
Started assembly of my own Akagi model. Gave her an armored flight deck (hence the black). Tried to cheap out of having to paint a white line down the middle, used Frogger tape to protect the rest of the flight deck from the spraypaint... it didn't work as expected.
>>1100864
Nah, let her. Kaga will handle the issue.
>>
>>1100688
>[X] THIS IS A SNEAKING MISSION, SNAKE
>[X] Want to bring a shipgirl? Is there a shipgirl who refuses NOT to witness this moment? Write-in.
Naka ALL the Naka... Maybe Arizona too
>>
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>>1100891

>THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT BY 'JARHEAD'

You seem to forget that your talking to a Marine.
>>
>>1100879
Oh boy. Hey, if he tries anything that only Harder should, feel free to break his arm off and sodomize him with it, OK?
>>
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>>1100863
Soon, I suppose. Whenever PF wants a carrier with an entire country's air force as an embarked air wing to perform a DYNAMIC ENTRY.
>>
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>>1100934
I think she's fine on that front
>>
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>>1100901
Howteh fuck should I know

I am fcuking BLNID

>>1100934
chug smucklefuck said it was for science

then he's all "you need to relax"

and fuck harder, he jst thouhtgt itd be funy

yes you translator fuckboy im talking to you jst type the fckgn words i te;l you HELLO THIS IS NAKA I INHALE PENIS SINCERELY THE IMPERIAL JAPANESE NAVY

>>1100921
insults tend to hurt more from the ones you love, shitfuck

that's why I'm invicnible

>>1100889
hey

hey

have you considered

fuck you
>>
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>>1100945
Your space carrier is bad and you should feel bad tovarisch
>>
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>>1100951
You know those stories about the Army and the Navy guys who walk into Marine bars with jars on their head?
Ya oughta try it someday.
>>
>>1100891
>>1100894

Well, if for some reason Naka suddenly miraculously lucky, She might just gets the drunk part. Abyssal-Naka gets the hangover and puking.

If it does work that way, she might want to start scarfing down haribo sugarfrees by the pound to give her abyssal counterpart a real bad time.
>>
>>1100951

I said more effectively.

More than not at all still ain't much.
>>
>>1100945

>that pic

I remeber that there was a good fanfic about a frigate being thrown in KanColle, but it seems to have just disappeared off the face of the interwebs.

Sad times. It was one of the few good written ones.
>>
>>1100806
Not even all the shimakaze boilers in the world (in other words four) will let Kaga reach Fastest speed.
>>
>>1100951
>insults tend to hurt more from the ones you love, shitfuck
>that's why I'm invicnible
Poor Harder
>>
>>1100905
You mean, "Is it really fair to subject her to that, though?"
Of course it's not, but you have a prime chance for revenge here. Use it.
>>
VOTES CALLED

BRB SETTLE'S STEALING MY BEER
>>
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>>1100971
MOTTO OF YOUR SEX LIFE

SEMPER FUCK YOURSELF
>>
>>1100972
https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/for-earth-and-her-colonies-kc-halo.372292/

I think this is it.
>>
>>1100951
Well did it least taste like good bourbon, or shit bourbon?
>>
>>1100951
...hey, Harder? Blowjob jokes aren't as effective when you're making them about women. (Or gay/bi men, for that matter.) You'll have to try harder.

Or maybe calm her with a bit of your own mouth work...
>>
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>>1100922
Kaga will keep them in line
>>
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Also, here's a better space carrier, Anons. Athen Class Light Carrier.
>>
>>1101016
Oooof, straight to the hangar deck
>>
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>>1100990

CRAWLING

ON THE EDGE

OF MY SKIN
>>
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>>1100993
I cough on baby back bitch whiskey and my sense of taste is all fucked up from spooping out, I have no assfucking idea

>>1100978
He knows where he stands/sits/lies there and cries softly when it's bolillotime

>>1100997
WOOP WOOP PLEASE GAG ON MY ELEVENTH INCH, SS-257 OUT
>>
>>1100990
oooh how clever. I am undone by your fucking wit.

This is boring I'm gonna go play DOOM or something. Assuming one of those destroyers or Yamato isn't bogarting the fuck outta my rig.
>>
>>1101029
Too late, Max and Lebe found a copy of The Anarchist Cookbook online!
>>
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Just picked this up today, what can I expect?
>>
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>>1101029
>Assuming one of those destroyers or Yamato isn't bogarting the fuck outta my rig.
>>
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>>1101029
>>
>>1100883
>listen here you pedantic little fuck
I listen.
>>1100948
Hey, did we ever follow up on counter-Yak operations? Because we should do that.
>>1100955
>space carrier
>eez a frigate
>not even any space for hauling shit around, its just a gun with engines and a bridge
>>1100972
>I remeber that there was a good fanfic about a frigate being thrown in KanColle, but it seems to have just disappeared off the face of the interwebs.
LINK FOR YOU
>https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11782965/1/For-Earth-and-Her-Colonies

Also, wrong class. Harvest was a Stalwart L-FFG, aka not as powerful as a Paris H-FFG, and not as capable of hauling Marines and vehicles around as a Charon L-FFG.
>>1101022
not canonical
though I wish it was
defi better than 343i's shit Poseidon design
>>
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>>1101043

a wholly insufficient, but very heartfelt apology

i am sorry

I am so sorry
>>
>>1101027
>He knows where he stands/sits/lies there and cries softly when it's bolillotime
So you're aiming for the harem route where Harder and Settle spit-roast you then? Good to know!

Also? Hot!
>>
>>1101026
>>1101029
go fuck yourself with the elf on the shelf
>>
>>1101040

More like "Found a copy of DOOM and decided that something about chainsawing the fuck out of demons appealed to them" I swear to every fucking god there is all these girls are more fucked up than anyone wants to admit cos they're cute.
>>
>>1101056
There was a vote as to delegating people to deal with it in a way that made planefag giggle, so take that as you will
>>
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>>1101056
My apologies. They make them seem so similar that I tend to have a hard time differentiating from the three.

Thanks for the link though.
>>
>>1101027
>WOOP WOOP PLEASE GAG ON MY ELEVENTH CENTIMETER, SS-257 OUT
Fixed that typo for you, Harder.
>>
>>1101069
Chainsaws help relieve stress, yaknow.
>>
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>>1101025
>>1101016
WELL DONE, OUR BELOVED KAGA-SAN!

>>1101029
YA BETTER BE PLAYING ON NIGHTMARE OR HARDER, NERD.
NONE OF THIS CASUAL BULLSHIT. ONLY USS HARDER PLAYS ON EASY MODO.
>>
>>1101029
Dude you said this Might be Hell, But i know of a Much worse place, Twentynine palms
>>
>>1101090

Harder's fucking scrub-trash tier at everything he fucking plays. Fuck, Willie has a better fucking K:D in CoD than he does.
>>
Anyway, enough with the spaceship shit. Because it's not the Abyssals-in-SPACE thread. Otherwise I would continue shitposting. But fuck it I respect PF.

Anyway... Re-class when?
>>1101072
Covert warfare? Yak fuckers start disappearing from the streets? Called shots on their families, non-lethal but still threatening?
>>
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Starting off simple. Yamato turret assembly with Tiger and squishy McCrewmember for scale.
>>
>>1101097
I think I have a better K/D in CoD than he does

>>1101085
Compromise? 25.7 cm?
>>
>>1101097
Let's be real here.
Harder may be forged in steel, but his ELO is made of Wood V.
If I wanted to kill myself, I'd jump from his ego to his elo and it would be a nice long fall, with plenty of time to reflect on my life.

>>1101103
I need to clean up and give you a better version of that gif
>>
>>1101063
I can't figure out whether you're apologizing on behalf of the Marine Corp or the author. Probably both.
>>
>>1101069

Sooo... how long 'till one of them shows up with a chainsaw mounted on their rigging?

Introduce them to Warship Gunner next.
>>
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>>1101090

Sometimes being casual is more fun than beating your head on a brick wall, Catte.

Of course, Harder is just BAD at vidya, so I'll concede the point.
>>
>>1101098
chuuni squad, if I remember right.
But then half of those are barely alive now, so who fucking knows
And ghost's writeup is going to facefuck the shit out of that situation when the quest catches up to it anyway, so, whatever
>>
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>>1101090
>>
>>1101063
Why are you so sorry planefag?
>>
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>every thread
>>
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>>1101112
>>
>>1101101
>tfw you can THEORETICALLY catapult a Tiger from Yamato's guns
>>
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>>1101101
DELETE THIS
>>
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USS Lexington (CV-2) underway during the Battle of Coral Sea, 8 May 1942
>>
>>1101103
>25.7 cm?
While I have my doubts, I will defer to the experience of she who claws it on a regular basis.
>>
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>>1101143
No.
USS Louisville (CA-28) followed by USS San Francisco (CA-38) operating in the Bering Sea during May 1943
>>
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>>1101140
>>
>>1101098

Fucking never because it's stupid and would end up just like Ise and Hyuga, who fucking LIVE IN THE GOODDAMN SQUAT RACK FUCK OTHER PEOPLE NEED TO USE IT TOO YOU BITCHES.

>>1101111

Gods only fucking know.
>>
>>1101147
I'm just trying to make him feel better

He's actually about tShFGDISG7DFJ
>>
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>>1101131
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And now, Ms. Sent-on-a-bus! Prince Eugen...what's left of her, at least. Shame, really.
>>
>>1101113
Eh, chuuni-squad probably ain't happening for a while. Even if Settle can actually swing the State-side docks for them, gonna be a while before their fixed up.
>>
>>1101097
>that moment where you will never be able to shitcan a submarine in Call of Duty, Battlefield, Dark Souls, or Halo
>>1101084
...I said I'd stop, but... the post is before my own post, so...
Remember them like this
>Paris = gun with engines
>Stalwart = shitburger LCS jack-of-all-trades master-of-fucking-nothing
>Charon = magic school bus for Marines
>>
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>>1101140

Fuck u faget.
>>
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>>1100688
>At some indeterminate time on some indeterminate day in the indeterminate future

YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO
>>
Prune Barge! (USS California (BB-44) in New York, 1934.
>>
>>1101163
Speaking of shit stolen during war. Here is an example of a BF-109G stolen by the US 83rd Infantry Division and used to provide air support when they tried to rush for Berlin
>>
>>1101097

That's gonna be harsh for the shattered remains of his ego if he gets his ass kicked at Silent Hunter.
>>
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>>1101160
>>
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Decided upon your mission, you throw yourself out of the comfy chair and go stalking through the piles of unopened boxes to the door of your office. Arizona was given her own office - more of a converted broom closet, recently - nearby, and you fling the door open uninvited and unannounced. “ARIZONA!”

Arizona snaps bolt upright, the lid of her laptop slapping closed with an audible CLACK! She stares at you wide-eyed, than narrows her gaze angrily. She's already reaching for one of the pillows on the small couch next to her chair.

“Hey, I just-” you duck the pillow, and hear the worrisomely solid ~thwock~ it makes as it hits the wall behind you. “I was just gonna-” another one arcs in, narrowly missing your face. She's got no shortage of ammunition; despite being sensible, pragmatic and reliable, she still suffers the minor idiosyncrasies of her sex, like a propensity to put so many pillows on the couch that there's no room to sit on the damn thing. You raised this point once and got a brief pantomime retort about rich men who own boats they never use. You decided to disengage and break contact after that salvo.

The current feather-filled one is unceasing, however. “ARIZONA, I JUST WANTED TO ASK IF YOU WANTED TO GO SOMEWHERE WITH ME?”

She pauses, hand cocked with one more pillow. She cuts her eyes at the couch, now completely emptied of obstructions - then back at you, her clear, cornflower blue eyes limpid and inviting.

“Just down the hall TOHARRFFF-” you finish with a mouthful of feathers (where the hell did she get goosedown pillows, anyways?) Spitting out feathers, you stagger upright to find Arizona advancing on you - holding her chair. She starts to poke you out like a lion-tamer that's cornered the Greater Striped Retard. You're very, very glad she doesn't have a whip.

“JUSTWANTEDTOSEEMYSTAFF-”

And just like that, she freezes.

“My staff, you know, I haven't even *seen* them, this paperless remote office stuff is, uh, I was just- please don't hit me.”

She blinks.

You hold your breath, a dizzying array of terrible fates spinning through your mind - a beating, a berating, a cold frown, even the devestating glitter of tears...

... and then she does the most horrifying thing you can possibly think of.

She smiles.
>>
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>>1101197
Seeing a 109 in US colors is weird as *fuck*, haha.
Nagato, Mutsu, and Tatsuta, sometime in 1927
>>
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>>1101197
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>>1101198
Fucker is W+M1 given form

it took me three weeks to convince him the B button had a use in Smash
>>
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>>1101210
oboy
>>
>>1101211
Yeah well basically 83rd Infantry Division stole everything that was not bolted down. There is a reason they were called the Rag Tag Circus. They even had a Tiger 1.
>>
>>1101210
Didn't we make up with her already? Why are we getting ballistic furnishings?
>>
>>1101157
>all those main battery guns are 18"ers
>including the ones on the side beneath the flight decks
>literal best of both worlds

also
>Ise and Hyuga hogging the head
the fuck happened?
>>1101163
She died for a good cause. Nuke mafia was apparently going to scrap the surface navy as a whole if Crossroads proved them obsolete. Crossroads failed in that regard.
>>1101198
>that moment where you will never beat a submarine at a submarine game
Does Silent Hunter even have PvP? Also, does the game model the Mark 14 torpedo's historical issues?
>>1101221
Hey, Naka, question for Harder.
How triggered does he get over the Mark 14 and Mark 18 torpedoes?
>>
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USS Alabama (BB-60) off of Norfolk Navy Yard, Portsmouth, Virginia, 7 Feb. 1943, following post-shakedown availability and a new coat of paint.
>>
>>1101113
>>1101171
Weren't we thinking of converting a warehouse to a dry dock or something? Since they don't need to sail into an actual dry dock and could probably summon their hulls on land if we had the right framework set up.
>>
>>1101236
Because we barged into her office and it's funny?
>>
>>1101210
>Her eyes are clearly gray toned in the art
>He once again switches and can't keep it consistent

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE TALKING NOTES
>>
>>1101246
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>>1101210

This is off to a fantastic start already.
>>
>>1101210
>Mackenzie is Arizona
This pleases me
>>
>>1101247
Inland drydocks for shipsluts was an idea, yeah. Also flying Tatsuta and Tenryuu to the states to nab the slot that Higgins was in.
Lord knows how any of that'll play out since we got a bit distracted by, you know, Higgins.
>>
>>1101210
When settles relationship with arizona get like this? Arizona from the last thread probably would not throw pillows at settle over something as minor as going into a room
>>
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>>1101236
She was looking at something lewd on the laptop.
>>
>>1101247
Remember the phone call about Higgins getting repaired and refit, where Settle talked to the dockyard manager about possibly getting extra berths.
>>
>>1101278

No no no.

The idea was to fly them to America to take a commercial yard slot that expressly can't handle a modern boat, but COULD deal with a WW2 level boat.
>>
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>>1101258
dem hips tho.

USS Nevada (BB-36) beached and ablaze, 7, Dec. 1941. Harbor tug Hoga (YT-146) is alongside Nevada's port bow, assisting with firefighting on the fo'c's'le.
>>
>>1101243
>the fuck happened?
Obviously they can't handle the Coco Icibanya curry.

>>1101283
Lady's reflexes, man. Trust me.
>>
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>>1101283
Someone was watching Fate/Stay Night.
Next, you'll have Arizona ravenously demand food (in this case, doughnuts).
>>
>>1101210
regarding
>>1071357
>THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED.
>Hokay I am calling the thread for the night partly becuase of exhaustion, but in greater part because puking all day has left my throat so sore I can't eat, (after not eating all day because puking) and that seems to be sapping my energy levels just a bit. I've got enough to work with now, so I'll finish this omake and post it in this thread. It'll still be here, and alive, right?
>... right?
So... where's the ending? Did Argie-aviator go "ATESTIGÜAME CHE!" into one of the Graf Spee squadron? Did he get eaten alive by the pursuing Abyssal fighter units? WHAT HAPPENED?
>>1101300
nah
somebody tainted the food
>Where's Hiei and Isokaze?
>>
>>1101318
says the fan who prompted him to do so.
>>
>>1101243
>How triggered does he get over the Mark 14 and Mark 18 torpedoes?

He can only answer this question if I hit him with the phone at a 45-degree angle

Or throw it as hard as I can and it boomerangs around and hits him in the back of the head
>>
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>>1101258
Alabama is fat!

FAT!
>>
>>1101295
Right, that. It's been a while and as large as my autism-albatross is it's not exact
>>1101291
Also this
>>
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>>1101327

So very triggered then, got it...
>>
Remember anonymous!
Stick to the plan dess!
>>
>>1101327
Hullo, legs!
>>
>>1101331
Why the fuck would you make Churchill a cute girl? Obviously ship spirit Churchill will be the man himself!
>>
>>1101327
And his answer is... what?
>>1101330
Not fat. Just plump.
>>1101348
Put a cork in it, you overhyped battlecruiser.
>>
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>>1101348

But Kongo-San, we work best when we go horribly off the track!
>>
>>1100688
Well got here a bit late, but hazzah we have a thread!
>>
>>1101351

Meet halfway? Cute girl with Churchills' temper, mannerism and voice?
>>
>>1101349
I get that a lot

A LOT

Mostly from Harder

>>1101363
"R," "E," "E," and "E." Repeating.
>>
>>1101278
>>1101294
>>1101295
I don't remember the commercial yard bit, but I do remember talking about using the slot Higgins was in. So we have at least 3 possibilities then:
-warehouse
-USA Higgins dock
-USA commercial dock
This is assuming that the trip (presumably by plane) over the Pacific would be survivable.
>>
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The Smile continues as your trek into the bowels of Fleet Activities Yokosuka's main administration building continues. You give the Official Map a brief glance before proceeding to the more reliable method. You locate the closest break room, and loiter in the approaches, trying to go unnoticed. Arizona helps greatly with this - despite the prominently-displayed rank on your shoulders, every man - and a few of the women - only have eyes for her. At least until they notice The Smile, still shining brilliant and terrible - and then they move on, focused on their donuts or debbie cakes. Soon you find your mark. There's nothing outwardly remarkable about the man - no obvious pocket protector, no sagging gut, not even the squinty-eyed expression of men prone to policing moustaches - but there it is nonetheless, the involuntary tightening of your muscles, bone-deep instinct battening down the hatches in expectation of the Two Minutes Hate. (Usually; his best zero-to-savage time was clocked at one-point-seven seconds.)

Yes. It's the stench of those the Other Forces deem “Staff Sergeants.” The Navy, as usual, is more accurate with their appellations - they are known as Petty Officers, and none are pettier than the First-Class ones. You fall in behind him as he leaves with a box cram-packed with donuts, shadowing at a safe distance, but close enough to sprint in and strike when the time is right.

You follow him for what seems like ages; winding through dingier and older halls - and downward. You resist the urge to steal a donut and place it on the floor to see if it rolls - your descent is marked by ever-dingier emergency staircases at regular intervals, so you know the floor isn't on a subtle, descending slope. You rub your shoulder epaulets nervously - you were your Holy Nation's most beloved star, but you doubt you'll be shining much light down here. You let your quarry gain some distance as you reach a place on sub-basement level C, where the lights flicker and struggle, their loud, mournful buzz insufficient to cover the sound of your footsteps as they echo off bare concrete floors.

Down here, where the light does not shine and joy is unknown, is where the staff really live. This is the cubicle farm, the sausage factory, where lavishly detailed reports fashioned with love and care are sent to be violated and torn apart. You can almost hear their final screams as they are gutted, violated, raped to provide the raw ingredients for that nightmare of blood and bone, one long disembodied scream hidden behind a mask of spinning animations and fucking clip-art.

This is where the PowerPoints are made.

The last door looms large before you, the man on the donuts run accelerating with relief as his goal hoves near.

Now is your time to strike.

>It would be problematic to have this guy around bitching about how HE was the one who brought the donuts. How do we relieve him of his burden and send him on his way?
>>
>>1101363
>Not fat. Just plump.

Thats fat.
>>
>>1101384
>This is assuming that the trip (presumably by plane) over the Pacific would be survivable.
AURORA TIME?
AURORA TIME.
>>
>>1101384
Do I hear you dissing on the Super Galaxy, amigo?

>>1101375
That would just be a genderbent Churchill as a midshipman, then.
>>
>>1101384
This is also assuming that the plot's focus ever swings back to them.

>>1101391
>Let it go, his victory is well earned. The donuts will still be goodwill even if we didn't bring them, especially if they see Ari with one.
>>
>>1101391

Have Ari distract him while we swipe the donuts right out of his hands.
>>
>>1101391
Perhaps thank him for carrying the donuts for you. Perhaps have Arizona take the first one. The look of joy on her face with a donut should be sufficient to distract him.
>>
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>>1101391
Stop the Powerpoint Rangers by a SURPRISE ADMIRAL VISIT
>>
>>1101415
In with this, I suppose.
>>
>>1101252
>the art

I ESTABLISHED THEM AS BLUE EARLY ON SO THAT'S WHAT I HAVE TO STICK WITH

I RE-READ THE WHOLE FUCKIN THING

I LOVE SLATE GREY EYES WITH SPARKLES OF GREEN BUT BLUE IS PRETTY COOL TOO
>>
>>1101391
>Let it go, his victory is well earned. The donuts will still be goodwill even if we didn't bring them, especially if they see Ari with one.
>>
>>1101391
Tell him that Sammy B. needs help with purchasing Steam cards.
>>
>>1101391
>Tell him he needs to find Lt. Hate, and inform him that you need some paperwork done. Have Arizona flutter her eyes at him to move him along.
>>
>>1101391
See >>1101415

Perhaps thank him for carrying the donuts for you. Perhaps have Arizona take the first one. The look of joy on her face with a donut should be sufficient to distract him.
>>
>>1101391
Send him on a vaguely routine - but ultimately pointless - errand, have Arizona relieve him of his box of pastry under the guise of ferrying it to the break room for him while you do Admiral Things.
>>
>>1101391
>>It would be problematic to have this guy around bitching about how HE was the one who brought the donuts. How do we relieve him of his burden and send him on his way?
"Ari, if you mug him for the box, you get three. Your choice which."
>>
>>1101384

Higgins was refit in a commercial yard. The Chunnis will be too. And You can fly the girls around, that ain't no thing. Shit, I was just down in Kure not too long ago with- You know what no neverfucking mind. But I was down in Kure with a girl tho.

At this point, there's not enough navy yard space to keep the active duty fleet we fucking have going at anything other than minimum safe. And sometimes not even fucking then. You want to make a fucking killing right now, go into fucking welding, machining, or pipefitting and you'll have job offers inside a fucking week.
>>
>>1101422
>I have to redraw that artwork you asked me to work on

fuk u faglord
>>
>>1101415

This idea makes mine look stupid, go with it.
>>
>>1101330
She is not fat! She is full of her crew's hopes and dreams! I would know, I visited last summer, even got planefag a souvenir.
>>
>>1101441
Just cut the head off, you can't draw faces for shit anyway.
>>
>>1101437

Looks like we've got a welding boom in the works.
>>
>>1101446
Whoops, dropped my trip.

But yeah, lol alien faces.
>>
>>1101391
>It would be problematic to have this guy around bitching about how HE was the one who brought the donuts. How do we relieve him of his burden and send him on his way?
~neck snap~
On a more serious note, tap him on the shoulder and give him an order to head back upstairs, take an hour-long break. No need to enter PowerPoint hell.
>>1101427
Actually, this.
>>1101392
Fat would be the human equivalent of 300 pounds over standard weight. She's merely plump.
>>1101434
Why a pointless task? Gotta get shit done, yo.
>>
>>1101441
Catte there are many unkind things I think about you, but 'doesn't use layers when coloring' wasn't one of them.
>>
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>>1101441
>redraw
>to change color

AT LEAST IT'S NOT A FOURTH TURRET, YOU WHINY BIIIIIITCH

>>1101444
>filename

u a clever littl cunt aintchu
>>
>>1101453

Fucking, if you want to make bank, go work at a shipyard.

If you want to make more bank, go work for Boeing or lockmart. Ships and aircraft motherfucker, they're cranking them out as fast as possible. they said AMARG is fucking empty of all the birds they can make airworthy dude. Fucking Empty. Think about that shit
>>
>>1101391
>>Let it go, his victory is well earned. The donuts will still be goodwill even if we didn't bring them, especially if they see Ari with one.
>>
>>1101456
>Why a pointless task? Gotta get shit done, yo.
You seem to have forgotten that we're NAVY
There is always dumb pointless shit that somehow needs doing
>>
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>>1101457
More like I already did the first pass of blending so I'll have to start over from scratch with a new palette.

>>1101465
>calls me a whiny bitch
>gave up on the first level or two of DOOM on normal difficulty because he couldn't git gud
>and then cried about it on IRC
>>
>>1101397
>>1101437
I was more concerned with Tatsuta's medical state, if it was safe to move her. I remember shipgirls being transported by air both in-quest, and in sidestories.
>>
>>1101483
Fair enough then
>>
>>1101330
She's not fat, just full of cheer
>>
>>1101484
She probably is. Her machinery may be shot to shit but I doubt a little turbulence can kill her.
>>
>>1101500

And crawdads
>>
>>1101484
The military has gotten really good at medivac flights over the years. Short of the plane crashing she should be fine.
>>
>>1101391
>>1101415
>Perhaps thank him for carrying the donuts for you. Perhaps have Arizona take the first one. The look of joy on her face with a donut should be sufficient to distract him.
>>
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>>1101483
>he thinks fucking le current year FPS glamfest is the hard DOOM
>scrub probably hasn't played DoomRL once
>>
>>1101520
Fuck you, DOOM is amazing, git gud you fucking shrub.
>>
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>>1101437
>Shit, I was just down in Kure not too long ago with- You know what no neverfucking mind.
>>
>>1101505
I doubt crabs would still be a problem after 65 years without seamen in her.
>>
>>1101437
>You want to make a fucking killing right now, go into fucking welding, machining, or pipefitting and you'll have job offers inside a fucking week.

If you get a chance, show this to some of the girls. Might get interesting reactions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8q3DZB_l6M
>>
>>1101520
>replying with low effort shitposts taken straight from /v/

I expected better from you. git gud sempai.
>>
>>1101534
>DOOM: Press "F" to Pay Demons
>DoomRL: use a rocket launcher to blast you across the room to chainsaw faces

fatgreek wins this round
>>
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>>1101483

I bet you couldn't finish Halo on Legendary, casual.
>>
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>>1101391
>greetings underling
>we're about to deliver a motivational toolbox talk
>i've prepared over six thousand slides on this USB, isn't technology amazing?
>we're going to have to run into the evening, so do you think you could make another run for donuts?
>>
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>>1101552
>/v/
>rougelikes

call me a tileset pleb

ONE more time
>>
>>1101547

Crab has one of those down in his mad scientist fucking lab. Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to let him have one is anyone's fucking guess at this point.
>>
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>>1101415
>Perhaps thank him for carrying the donuts for you. Perhaps have Arizona take the first one. The look of joy on her face with a donut should be sufficient to distract him.
[x] This
>>
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>>1101561
Not today, PHB
>>
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>>1101561
>all these reasonable suggestions
>shit, shit, shit, shit sh-
>A HERO ARRIVES

VOTES MOTHERFUCKIN CALLED
>>
Hey Planefag, SHOWBOAT WHEN (im a flip so no bias here)
>>
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The horrible irony of HIJMS Mikasa's berth is that her fore turret aims directly at Fleet Activites Yokosuka.
>>
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Speaking of botes, here's some lewd.
>>
>>1101391
>Pardon me Petty Officer, but I saw an Ensign at the motor pool...
>>
>>1101587
Not so much lewd, more like bits of an anatomy cut-away in a medical textbook.
>>
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>>1101575
>>
>>1101565

Either someone who figured it couldn't be worse than the angle grinder, or someone who approved the requisition under threat of said angle grinder.
>>
>>1101596
It's a lot like looking at humen diagrams, but with SCHEMATICS.
>>
>>1101470
AMARG?
>Boeing or lockmart
Where's Northrup-Grumman?
>>1101484
>>1101509
If she goes shipmode while in flight there will be issues. Unless Boeing finally put their fucking Pelican into production - NOT THAT PELICAN
>>1101559
Depends what game, and if solo or coop. Some games in the series are piss easy. Some are controller-breaking hard.
>>
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>>1101606

>Filename

Oi
>>
>>1101606
>AMARG?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/309th_Aerospace_Maintenance_and_Regeneration_Group
>>
And a Forward Shot
>>
>>1101626
>>1101580

You are like tiny baby.
>>
>>1101626
What on earth are you playing?
>>
Oh, by the way, somebody on Reddit spotted an Abyssal ship fucking around in Yokosuka. Anybody here know about this?
>>1101547
GodDAMN.
>>1101565
>>1101603
But holy shit at least he takes less time getting rid of rust now.
At least he can take the smallest bit of solace in that.
>>1101585
We must have a traitor in our midst.
>>
Naval Frontline Regia Marina, Like WoWS on Mobile with no Russian Bias
>>
>>1101391
>Down here, where the light does not shine and joy is unknown, is where the staff really live. This is the cubicle farm, the sausage factory, where lavishly detailed reports fashioned with love and care are sent to be violated and torn apart. You can almost hear their final screams as they are gutted, violated, raped to provide the raw ingredients for that nightmare of blood and bone, one long disembodied scream hidden behind a mask of spinning animations and fucking clip-art.

Oh so it's just like where Foxx's office is.
>>
>>1101538

What joke you fuck. Shit, you fucking signed off on the pass.
>>
>>1101650
Looks like an Akizuki-class DDG to me.
>>
They also have an alaska crass CB, but it is premium, but the guns aren't
>>
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>>1101578
We're watching you
>>
>>1101655
Never got the bias claims for warships. Most of the best ships are either American or German.
>>
>>1101616
Oh please, Boeing wishes they could shit out D77s/D77Hs/D78s. The 'modern' Pelican above just puts way too much shit in one basket, and
>a cargo capacity of 1,400 tons (1,300 metric tonnes), and a range of about 10,000 nautical miles (18,000 km). Powered by four turboprop engines, its main mode would be to fly in ground effect 20–50 ft (6–15 m) over water, though it would also be capable of overland flight at an altitude as high as 20,000 ft (6,100 m) albeit with a decreased range of about 6,500 nautical miles (12,000 km).
It would be Abyssal bait. They'd treat it as a fucking pinata.
Ghost's novella claims the Abyssals are capable of interdicting and shooting down transatlantic passenger planes. They'd fucking eat this thing.
>>1101666
...Shiiiit.
>>
When i play sometimes, it feels that way
>>
Has anybody seen Willie? I have an idea. The best idea in the world.
>>
>>1101683

Would a Halo D77 even be possible to make, realistically speaking?
>>
>>1101691
How much speed does this idea involve?
>>
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>>1101691

No, and I don't think we wanna know what you cooked up.
>>
>>1101691
Pass the idea by your sister first, just for a sanity check.
>>
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>>1101665
it amazes me that he can write and you can read
>>
>>1101683
>Ghost's novella claims the Abyssals are capable of interdicting and shooting down transatlantic passenger planes. They'd fucking eat this thing.
No it doesn't.
That was an edgy abyssal roleplayer who thankfully petered off after two threads.
>>
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>>1101559
>Halo 2 Legendary Solo
>That elevator ride of flood in the first Arbiter mission or so
>The Jackel Sniper valley on Delta Halo
>Everything about Gravemind

Please no. Never again.
>>
>>1101683
do note he said DDG, not DD.
>>
>>1101650
>GodDAMN.

Works just as well to remove paint, tar, etc.

Showed that thing to deckhands on a 50+-year-old ship I often work on. They usually have to deal with that problem (and boy is there a shitload of rust on an old boat like that one) with pneumatic needlegun scalers and hours of slow progress.

They were just about drooling and making grabby hand motions at the screen.
>>
>>1101733
At least it's not The Library on Legendary
>>
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>>1101691
What are you planning?
>>
>>1101728

I can read pictures. Otherwise I just ask Yamato what the squiggly lines mean.
>>
>>1101691
As good as this?
>>
>>1101756
I'd keep going but I just realized Harder has to read this to me, so I guess I'm just going to go fuck myself now
>>
>>1101764
don't forget the lube.
>>
>>1101759
Goddamn, look at that ass.

*Reminds self DDs aren't for lewds, DDs aren't for lewds, DDs aren't for lewds >_<*
>>
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>>1101733

I known your pain friend.

Never again.
>>
>>1101520
how many times have you beaten doomrl again?

not on easy mode you baby
>>
>>1101774

>actions, >_<

Please lurk more.
>>
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You cruise up behind him quietly, handling your cane expertly to keep the ambient noise down. Limping into position, you wait till he's too busy juggling the box in one hand to reach for the door to notice the quick scurrying sounds of your last-mile dash. He's just turning the knob when you close for the kill.

“Hey.”

He pauses, and glances over his shoulder - and sees the star, shining bright and gold and terrible in the darkness. You see his face remain the same pale color as the horror of his fate settles heavy upon his shoulders.

“Hello, Admiral,” he says, flicking his eyes around as he seeks an escape route - clearly willing to sacrifice himself to lead you away from the pack. He knows that if he's taken alive, you know everything. Office schedules, the coffee fund balance - Earth. “How can I help you?”

“Actually, I came to help you guys!” you say cheerfully. “Since you guys make me all those really good PowerPoints, I thought I'd do one for you all.”

He blinks, trying to comprehend the sight of what boils down to a barking cat.

With a flourish you produce a USB drive from your front pocket, like a conjurer producing a dove. “Yep, time for our annual motivational toolbox talk, you know? And I thought, hey, I should pay it forward.” You oscillate your palm up and down as if weighing the little pen drive. “Over six thousand slides on this little thing. Isn't technology amazing?” You grin. “And they say you can't teach an old sea dog new tricks. It took me hours to go through that box of old floppies.”

He blinks again. “Floppies.”

“With all my clipart on them, of course.” You nod. “Kids these days just go Cuck-Cuck-Floogle it or something, but in the day, we had to work with what we had on hand. We'd trade them around, passing floppies under the table. We amassed personal libraries, like wizards with spellbooks, and guarded them jealously. You know how I made command rank?” You smile, cutting your eyes both ways before leaning in. “Snuck an electromagnet into my main rival's apartment. Shut him the fuck down. The still call it 'Settling scores' at Annapolis.”

A single bead of sweat runs down - no, wait. Tear. That's a tear.

“Anyway we're gonna be at this all night, so if you could run and get us another box of donuts to tide us over, that'd be swell.”

You see the mad, panicked fear in his eyes as his better nature impels him to seize the USB drive and swallow it, like a solider diving on a grenade for his squad....

... but in the end, there are some things not even the greatest of men can withstand. He nods, almost wailing with relief as he runs down the hallway, fleeing the nightmare faster than a PL Proteus fleet. You wave him mocking goodbye, then nod at Arizona.

The Smile is gone. She's staring you, lips parted as a shiver of dread runs through her petite frame.
>>
>>1101704
LOTS.

>>1101719
Pffft, if I listened to Ammy, I'd never get anything done.

>>1101748
Wonders.

>>1101759
I would never be caught without my skirt in public. That's just unprofessional.
>>
>>1101764
Have you tried text to speech programs?
>>
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You smirk at her and flip a little salute at the brim of your hat. Picking up the discarded donut box, you open the door and step into the staff - your staff's - office space.

You find a sea of cubicles stretching across a largish room, dimly lit and reeking of stale coffee and smelling faintly like an Office Max. There's the obligatory motivational poster with a cat by the door, and in the back you can see a large laser printer in the middle of a pentagram, a small candle smoldering at each star-point. In other words, it's perfectly normal...

... until the smell of donuts wafts through the room, and heads start to emerge from the cubicles like prairie dogs popping out of their holes. Bleary eyes focus on you and widen in horror and recognition. The first one tries to sound an alarm, but in his horror he chokes on the words - and soon there's four or five people shivering like rabbits in the shadow of a hawk.

And that's when you find the throne.

At the back of the room, near the supply closet, you see a raised dais built with disassembled cubicle sides. Atop it sits a throne made of stacked paper reams, the seat papered with never-filled IT ticket printouts. And upon it, reclining under a decorative arch made of old CRT monitors expertly wedged together, sits the Queen, long, lovely legs crossed just-so to draw attention to taught thighs and shapely calves. She surveys her domain with cool disinterest, her eyes mysteriously hidden behind shutter shades-

- which are removed with slow, deliberate horror a moment later to reveal the rapidly-clouding face of Naka.

“... Avalon has fallen,” she whispers.

>indicate thine reaction
>>
>>1101789
>You see his face remain the same pale color as the horror of his fate settles heavy upon his shoulders.
>settles

hue
>>
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>>1101796
>>
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>>1101796
FlatWhat.webm
>>
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>>1101796
"Oh no. We're just getting started."
>>
>>1101796
Facepalm, followed by "Want a donut?"
>>
>>1101796
>>indicate thine reaction
"...you know, I'm not even surprised."

OPTIONAL: tack on "After all, we all know that Powerpoints are about as evil as the Abyssals."
>>
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>>1101789
>this entire post
See. This is why I follow your shit as eagerly as I do. Fucking IMAGERY.
>>
>>1101691
I would suggest searching for her in places that where self control and precision are needed to prevent mishaps. Places like ammunition dumps, fuel storages, firing ranges, hospitals, wherever large bags of flour are kept.
>>
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>>1101774
>>
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>>1101796
>>
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>>1101835
>>
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>>1101841
>>1101774
>>
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>>1101796
>>
>>1101796

Just remind her it could be worse.

You could have brought me along.
>>
>>1101794
We need details. DETAILS.
>>
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>>1101789
>you know everything. Office schedules, the coffee fund balance - Earth
kek
>>1101796
>>
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>>1101796

>ofw

Also

>“Hello, Admiral,” he says, flicking his eyes around as he seeks an escape route - clearly willing to sacrifice himself to lead you away from the pack. He knows that if he's taken alive, you know everything. Office schedules, the coffee fund balance - Earth.

I approve of this reference.
>>
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>>1101795
Well, yes, but

>>1101796
I, uh, I gotta go.
>>
>>1101703
Simple answer?
NO.
First of all, NASA, Lockmart, Boeing, and/or North-man would need to pull SSTO tech out of their arse (if you're going for that part of the specifications... which, in quest, would supertroll the fuck out of the Abyssals).
Second, Lockmart's small-scale fusion reactor needs to become legit (actually, it's not clear if the D77+ is nuke-powered, but holy shit the thing will guzzle oil).
Outside of those two issues, there's then the issue of the rotating wings, which are probably going to be a nightmare for maintenance...
...And, of course, the engines.

Get all that shit done, and get the cost past Congress (this is the really hard part), and... well, in-quest, the Abyssals start having a real hard time with interdicting shit. Especially when this shit starts to trickle down to C-130s and passenger jets and shit.
>>1101732
>The morning turned into day- they didn't see anymore aircraft, though they heard the throaty high-altitude drone of passenger jets overhead. While the appearance of Abyssals- especially the carriers- had caused no end of trouble for civil and military air travel, simple economic demands had necessitated its continuation, even after a few well-documented shootdown incidents of trans-oceanic flights. They'd both seen the news about those early incidents. At first they'd had trouble believing the numbers- four hundred dead? from a single airliner? Eventually it had been enough for one of the British officers to arrange a simple trip to Heathrow Airport, in London. They'd understood, then.
>https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fb0FmI-XAGPJRW36_IXlCL5h-XfvEnG5SFjP9a7Jh4Y/edit
I CITE SOURCE
>>1101736
I repeat: "Sheeeeit." This is, of course, assuming Abyssal and not some odd satellite image issue.
>>1101789
>electromagnet
Settle, you cunt.
...
Though I wonder about the possibility of the Yaks leaving a USB Killer somewhere on the base, maybe swapping it out for a poor ensign's own thumb-drive...
>>
>>1101796
"Oh no, we're only just beginning."
>>
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>>1101796
"You could have prevented this."
>>
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>>1101796
>"It has only just begun."
>>
>>1101796

[x] "Hello, Naka. Donut? I see you're liaising well with my staff."
>>
>>1101733

Someone actually beat the Halo 2 single player legendary with all the skulls on. Unfortunately, you have to outright active camo glitch significant parts of the game because it's impossible otherwise.
>>
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>>1101796
>Avalon
It's time for the queen to sleep again.
>>
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>>1101796
>This is my swamp
>>
>>1101868
>I repeat: "Sheeeeit."
Calm yo tits, landlubber. It was obviously a patched-up pic from when cloud cover was surrounding Yokosuka.
>>
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>>1101796
>"So the victor go the spoils."
>>
>>1101796
>"Cower now, brief mortals, your time has come!"
>"I mean donuts. Donuts have come now."
>>
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>>1101892
Pixy noooo
>>
>>1101868

Aw well. Just gonna have to settle for guns remade into MA5Bs...
>>
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>>1101906
>So
I meant "to"
>>
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more lewd
>>
>>1101855
What one destroyer can do, two destroyers can do better. As long as the thrusters are large enough.
>>
>>1101931
>thrusters
Abandon proving grounds
>>
>>1101931
A boat hooked up to another boat? Are you trying to kill Leviathan Extreme?
>>
>>1101931
"Thurster"...please tell my you have been in contact with NASA.
>>
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>>1101944

>Abandon Hope.

FTFY
>>
>>1101928
>paint mixing room
Huh
>>
>>1101931
But if the thrust-to-weight stays the same you're not fixing anything, it has to be a matter of staging.
>>
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The resolution on some of these shots didn't come out the way I'd like. Guess I'll have to go back with a camera and not just my cellphone :V
>>
>>1101796
you know if hate was here he'd immediately screech NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRD
>>
>>1101796
>>1101834
>"...you know, I'm not even surprised."
> "After all, we all know that Powerpoints are about as evil as the Abyssals."
>>
>>1101958
Gotta keep the Measure 33 camouflage up to speed after every gun fight, yaknow.
>>
>>1101969
I'm wondering if the throne is an abyssal thing or just an idol thing
>>
>>1101789
>fleeing the nightmare faster than a PL Proteus fleet

Don't fall for the alpha clone trap. Save yourself before it's too late.
>>
>>1101789
>The Smile is gone. She's staring you, lips parted as a shiver of dread runs through her petite frame.

You terrified a battleship. Nice.
>>
>>1101959
You just don't understand advanced engineering. Anyway, I gotta find Willie.

A new age is upon us, and we will be at the fore of it.

Just don't tell Ammy. She can be a real nag about this sort of stuff.
>>
>>1101980
Probably a Idol/Monarch thing, as she is effectively queen of the cubicle farm.
>>
>>1101997
Will the Knights of the Square Cubicle move in to protect their queen?
>>
>>1101898
I hope so.
>>1101924
You know what the MA5 series would be IRL? As in, legitimate 60 round magazine 7.62x51mm assault rifles with comparatively little recoil when fired full-auto?
>Nothing special.

Now, the higher-end shit in the UNSC infantry arsenal, like the M99 Stanchion, M6G/GNC, and, to a somewhat lesser extent, the 'new' M57 Pilum? Those would make modern infantry really, really fucking happy.
>>
>>1101980
>>1101997
I was figuring we could play off of her new appearance, plus we are now in the basement (read- the abyss) of Fleet Activities Yokosuka. Where else would the most horrifying of powerpoints be produced?
>>
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>>1101931
>>
>>1101974
I mean it makes sense when you think about it. It's just not one of those things you think about, least for me personally. I always just assumed they would get any paint at the docks rather than do it on the ship.
>>
>>1101796
See >>1101887

>[x] "Hello, Naka. Donut? I see you're liaising well with my staff."

Acting outside of expectations will destabilize everyone and make them easier to prey upon.
>>
VOTES CALLED

>>1101987
>alpha clone trap

NOT IN A MILLION YEARS
>>
>>1102035
You can't slack on it, not even in the middle of a combat cruise!
>>
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Mikasa is still a pretty comfy ship. 10/10 Grand Old Lady museum bote.
>>
>>1102020

Oh I know. You'd know MUHREENS would be giggling so hard they'd piss their ranger panties if a splatter made its way into a heavy weapons group.
>>
>>1101796
[x] "Hello, Naka. Donut? I see you're liaising well with my staff."

I like this one
>>
>>1102059

>Splazer not splatter

Fuck you autocorrect
>>
>>1102058
What's the big wheel in between the secondaries for? Simultaneous turret turning?
>>
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>...And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.
>>
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>>1102058
>tfw no Warspite museum
>>
>>1102058
Wow, that is a fine deck indeed, not a single metal brace or patch in sight.
>>
>>1101887
>>1102044
>>1102060
Aw man, and I scroll past this one and miss it right before votes are called...
>>
>>1102080
IIRC, US crews semi-routinely do maintenance on the old girl as a public-relations/goodwill project.
>>
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>>1102070

Spare ship's wheel, I believe.

Also, I discovered that the regular crew had to use trench toilets. It was just Admiral Togo and the ship's captain that had conventional shitters.
>>
>>1101931

How thoroughly should Huntsville USSRC recheck their entire inventory and how many F-1s are missing?
>>
>>1102078

She's a molester anyway, I hear.
>>
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>>1102080

Only some of the deck is still original. Time claims everything in the end, sadly.
>>
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>>1102101
>>
>>1102101
woah hey, hey waoh. She's a grand old lady, you shitbird
>>
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>>1101796
>>
>>1102112
Likes touching destroyers inappropriately.
>>
>>1102105
Yep. The Iowa museum actually lets you have a chunk of old deck from before they refurbished it if you leave a donation.
>>
>>1102077
>Death
>not Dess
>>
>>1102118
who can blame her?
>>
>>1102118
Only Nazi ones though.
>>
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>>1101796
Did we forget to bring the new pictures of our new President? We got to do it.
>>
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>>1102101
>>1102118

Please don't make up stories about Kongou's cousin, Yankeedere!
It is rude and unbecoming of a gentleman!
Have you remembered to brush up on you calligraphy? You'll need it in... about a few months!
>>
>>1102133
Remember who Hate's daughteru's are.
>>
>>1102146
The fuck are you talking about again? Shouldn't you be stalking Goto or stealing his skivvies or something?
>>
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>>1101683
Oh, right. Was going to post dimensions.
I don't know how many D77 airframes one could build with the materials that go into the Boeing Peli, but...
>>1101987
Explain, please?
>>1102059
And at the same time, the Army starts shitting themselves because their beloved Abrams are now in a very precarious position.

...Of course, they get a bunch of cool tech too. Like the M68 ALIM, chambered in 25x130mm, mountable to the bog-standard soft-skinned HMMWV, capable of accelerating its projectiles to MACH FUCKING 40 without flying clear off the fucking 'Hog mount in the process (yes, this is canon, has been repeated in multiple sources). And, of course, the aforementioned cool infantry weapons.
>>1102058
Simply amazing.
>>1102078
>tmw no Hosho museum
FIRST
PURPOSE-BUILT AIRCRAFT CARRIER
SURVIVED WWII
NEVER LAUNCHED ATTACK AGAINST AMERICA
REMAINED INTACT THROUGHOUT THE WAR
SCRAPPED BECAUSE FUCK JAPAN
>>1102105
That's to be expected. Entropy is a cold bitch.
>>1102124
HEY HATE
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS
HANDING OUT PIECES OF YOUR MURICAN... uh... what's his relationship status with Iowa again?
>>1102146
Shaddup, battlecruiser.
>>
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>>1102124
I bought one of those chunks when I was there last! It's sitting in my liquor cabinet back home right now.
>>
>>1102156
Japan had like zero resources left
>>
>>1102177
She gave her life so her country could rebuild, not the worst fate for a ship.
>>
>>1102156
Japan literally needed to scrap every piece of steel it could get its hands on in order to actually rebuild the country.
>>
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>>1102118
there's nothing improper about penis inspection day, you colonial heathen
>>
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>>1102156

Let's not forget that they also get the M808B, which fires a 90mm, has two Machine guns, and can shrug off most mines and small fire.

Don't even get me started on the Grizzly...
>>
>>1102177
>Japan had like zero resources left
>>1102189
FUCKING SO?
We lost our first carrier (re: Langley V1), we lost all but one Yorktown-class... we should have taken the Hosho and set her up as a museum.
...
Should have also preserved our first purpose-built carrier (Ranger), too. Especially after all the shit in the Atlantic that she survived.
>>1102202
LEL
IT'S ALSO FUCKHUGE
AND THE ABRAMS SHITS OVER IT
ABRAMS SHITS ON THE GRIZZLY TOO
>>
>>1102153

Why Hate, why would she steal Goto's skivvies? That's an entirely normal sisterly sort of thing to do to a man, and in no way indicates any sort of attraction.
>>
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Of course, no trip to a museum ship is complete without a viewing of the Admiral's personal head!
>>
>>1102214
No. There was no reason to save either of them.
>>
>>1102216

I'm pretty sure she's got a Goto shrine somewhere, ok? Fucking, I have no idea what she steals from the man, but I'm sure his requisition forms are all fucked up.
>>
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>>1102214

So basically if the UNSC had Deployed Abrams instead, they could have easily wiped the floor with Wraiths?
>>
>>1102232

Haven't you been requisitioning like twenty pairs of boxers a week since you landed 'cause Hornet and Yamato keep stealing them?
>>
>>1102232
>I'm pretty sure she's got a Goto shrine somewhere, ok? Fucking, I have no idea what she steals from the man, but I'm sure his requisition forms are all fucked up.
You couldn't have missed the point more if you were Mogami making a torpedo run.
>>
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wanted coffee but all I got was a stubbed toe NOW I TAKE IT OUT ON THE IMAGINARY PEOPLE IN MY HEAD

DIE

DIE DIE

DANCE, PUPPETS

DANCE
>>
>>1102240
>Mogami

Only ship to make Willie look like a torpedo sharpshooter
>>
>>1102236
No, cos I don't rate clothing issue unless it's for an op. I gotta go to the MX and fucking buy them.
>>
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Mikasa's after turret. One can really appreciate the size of the pre-dread era.
>>
>>1102247
Hey Willie almost took out a world leader! That may well have turned the tide of the war right there!
>>
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>>1102246
Fapangel pls
>>
>>1102246
Being planefag is suffering.
>>
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>>1102250

Damn look at the size of those guns!
>>
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>>1102240
Yankeedere is very dense, anon. He is only second in denseness to the Yankeetoku!

You see, the Yankeetoku is the densest of them all and thus the entire fleet revolves around the Yankeetoku!
However, Yankeedere is also very dense, kinda like a satellite that orbits the Yankeetoku!
The gravitation pull induced by Yankeedere's denseness then keeps Yamato and Hornet and all the other ships in orbit around him, which is why we never see them anymore but they're still there!

It's simple narrative astrophysics desu.
>>
>>1102247
Don't insult Willie.
>>
>>1102249

Fair enough.

And that's clearly entirely normal sisterly behaviour. Kongo's probably more inclined to collecting teacups after he's put his lips on them.
>>
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>>1102246
And so we witness the birth of a serial killer
>>
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>>1102202
>>1102214
THE ONLY THING THE SCORPION HAS GOING FOR IT IS THE FUCKING NUTSO SPEED
AND POSSIBLY THE AUTOLOADER WITH ONE 90MM SHOT EVERY THREE SECONDS (H3+Reach only)
>>1102223
WHY. FUCKING. NOT?
GIVE A FUCKING REASON.
>>1102233
If they still had the M7A14 or whatever fucking level they would have by 2525 around, then fuck yeah. A direct hit with the mortar will knacker the Abrams, but that 120mm will pulverize everything.

Reminder that the Covenant were forced to bring naval assets to bear to stop single rampaging Grizzlies. A Grizzly has two 120mms firing pseudo-WWII-era munitions, ditto the M808's piddly 90mm.

Two Abrams would fuck everything in their path.
>>1102249
>and fucking buy them
Jesus, the horror. How much shit has been gouged out of your paycheck?
>>1102250
'Tis was indeed a time of sheer brutality.
>>1102265
Agreeing with speed demon here. Don't make Willie cry.
>>
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>tfw we never had a heartwarming Christmas special
MAYBE NEXT YEAR
>>
>>1102258

I'm pretty sure Hornet's gotten captured by the Hamp gravity well and has switched orbits.
>>
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>>1102269
Is it too late to volunteer?
>>
>>1102270
>>1102202
>>1102214
Yo guys, can we uh, pipe it down with the Halo-posting for now?
>>
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>>1102270
Knock this off
>>
>>1102258
Where did you get that sweater?
>>
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>>1102257

Fore turret.
>>
>>1102258
I'm not dense. You're fucking insane.
>>
>>1102246
you don't have the balls
>>
>>1102277

Only for the sake of the threads image cap.
>>
>>1102270
>entered service 2218
wat
>>
>>1102252
I very much doubt it would have taken out FDR. Iowa's may not have the best TDS, but on torp is highly unlikely to sink her.
>>1102265
Not being mean, just stating a fact. Willie's a funny clumsy, Mogami is a "Caboose you teamkilling fucktard" clumsy.
>>
>>1102300
Speaking of did we get the obligatory pics out the way yet?
>>
>>1102290
You gotta hand it to the designers of the pre-dread machinery that turns these guns.
>>
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>>1102290
>>
>>1102310

>>1101131
>>1101162
yeah we good
>>
>the only thing running through the office drones heads right now
https://youtu.be/RB2GboGOuTI
>>
>>1102270
Please stop posting.

Or go back to spacebattles.
>>
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>>1102277
>>1102280
>>1102300
I tried to stop back here
>>1101098
>Anyway, enough with the spaceship shit. Because it's not the Abyssals-in-SPACE thread. Otherwise I would continue shitposting. But fuck it I respect PF.
But
people
kept
replying

one final post
that's it
then I'm done with Halo shit for the thread

<because battleship turret on an artillery tank is a good idea
>Kodiak mounts a 17.1" single

there
I done
That's it for tonight
no more Halo-related images
>>
>>1102329
Supplies, motherfucker
>>
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>>1102295
Insane, or a genius?
They will all be removed and only teitoku and Kongou will remain.
>>
>>1102335
No way that guy is SB. If he was he would either be way more retarded or way less. There is no middle ground with them.
>>
>>1102295

Those aren't mutually exclusive.
>>
>>1102349
>To Akiha
You're taking him to weeb-land? You want him to defend your honor like Settle did to Sho, is that it?
>>
>>1102349

I'm sure. I'm sure it'll work too. You know you could simplify this whole fucking process by going to the navy minister and having him make Goto propose to you.
>>
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>>1102313
Not just the those guns. The operation of most of the guns was surprisingly involved. Whole teams of over a dozen involved per gun; from magazine workers handling rounds and power charges, to the men that hauled them up, and the ones that operated the turret itself.

Now, mostly replaced by modern systems.
>>
>>1102329
The Rambo sequence from that film would be how Settle sees himself vs. how he actually is.
>>
>>1102352
In this case correct though.
>>
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>>1102338

I...I

My god... I didn't even realize....
>>
>>1102349
Have you considered just switching out for a wedding dess? Just all wedding dess all the time.
>>
>>1102383
That's dessperate even for her.
>>
>>1102349
>curry museum
you plan the worst dates ever
>>
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>>1102375
>>1101957
>>1101815
Did we open a time capsule from 2010 with these pics
>>
>>1102349
>>1102363
Dess-boat, listen to this man. He's following the principle of K.I.S.S., Keep It Simple, Stupid.

You go over Goto's head for permission, and you won't need any fancy intricate plans.
>>
>>1102391
I don't think desperate is in her vocabulary
>>
>>1102399
Its not obsolete, it's retro!
>>
>>1102399

Nah, we're just particularly old fashioned.
>>
>>1102435
it's shit
>>
Speaking of administrative stuff, isn't Hate also supposed to get a Silver Star or something? Maybe after his most recent actions he'll also get a Navy Cross/Medal of Honor.
>>
>>1102363
>>1102400

>Suggesting Kongou go to the minister of the Navy requesting that they order Goto to marry her
>While concern is being raised over whether the shipsluts are loyal to Japan or to Goto personally

Are you actually retarded?
>>
>>1102453
>Navy Cross
Depends on whether his misdemeanours count against it or not.
>Medal of Honor
NOT IF THE GREEN WEENIE SAYS SO
>>
>>1102453
You shut your whore mouth.
>>
I might be shot for this next update

jesus
>>
>>1102482
>I might be shot for this next update
Bring it, wanker
>>
>>1102453
Maybe even a promotion to Captain.
>>1102470
The fuck do you hate about getting rewards?
>>
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>>1102482
You might.
>>
>>1102482
Trudefags haven't gotten to you yet.

You'll be fine.
>>
>>1102482

You might be if you don't get posting it soon.

God I've missed these threads. Welcome back aerohomo.
>>
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So, an interesting fact about Mikasa the Museum Ship, as told to me by a Japanese docent: She had a lot of her internals gutted post-war and her guns removed as part of the Occupation. It was all stored in a warehouse, but some asshole sold it all. When Fleet Admiral Nimitz visited Japan once, he lamented in one of the national papers on her condition. It inspired a massive investment and rebuilding of her. If you see rivets, it's original. Weld lines? New, and post-war.
>>
>>1102488
Don't want the fucking attention.

And don't want my fucking dad to get to play the shit up more. Fuck that.
>>
>>1102495
If i remember they bought a south American pre-dread that was close to her design and used its parts for her restoration.
>>
>>1102500
>Don't want the fucking attention.
I... see.
>And don't want my fucking dad to get to play the shit up more. Fuck that.
Wait, what?
>>
>>1102470
I can just see it now, walking down to the mess hall, a battleship on each arm to force you to accept each and every salute you receive en route.
>>
>>1102482
Don't hurt yourself man! I'm just happy to see you pick this back up again.
>>
>>1102490
smashing grapes, a new spin-off of smashing pumpkins?
>>
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>>1102503

Can't recall myself. Wouldn't surprise me, really.

Her primary turrets were completely removed (internals and all), and the old magazine spaces were converted to display rooms and an auditorium under the fore turret.

It'd make a comfy school-ship, come to think of it.
>>
>>1102544
Assuming that you could get her floating again. I doubt that a good 50+ years in concrete would do good for her hull.
>>
>>1102581

It's a lot better for her than for her to be constantly be floating in salty seawater.

IIRC it's bad for a ships hull if they stay like that and are not cleaned at all.
>>
I suddenly have this image of Hate's dad trying to go see Iowa... Maybe asking her what happened between them...
>>
>>1102626
Why the name?
>>
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>>1102581

They put her in the concrete in the1920's, iirc.

Still a better fate than any of her sisters.
>>
>>1102629
I think that he's a QM? There was that one guy last thread that forgot to remove his name and trip. Though the name escapes me.
>>
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>>1102626

>Namefagging

If you don't contribute please don't fucking trip.

God damn you lurk more.
>>
>>1102643

Sorry, old habits. I usually put a name on in the few times I post.
>>
Nothing quite like that long KCQ wait mirite?
>>
>>1102706
its better than 6 months
>>
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And now, at random, something to trigger Indianapolis...
>>
I think someone shot fapangel before he can post the update.
>>
I have arrived.

I see that the thread is up to its usual shenanigans. Halo posting this time, despite an attempt at Ace Combat Zero references.

Interesting.
>>
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>>1102780
>>
>>1102780
Hey Bentus, how's it been?
>>
>>1102780
>>
>>1102780
Mind un-arriving?
>>
>>1102780
Now that you've arrived, how about you fuck off again instead.
>>
You survey the Promised Land; Shanghai-La, where no Admirals stay and the Staff may play. This is what has been wrought in your absence - a power vacuum filled by the opportunistic and charismatic. Staff officers are a bit like the Fremen; for whoever controls the PowerPoints, controls Navy policy. Here, in the bowels of the administration building, she has built a nest from whence she can subtly dictate your every move - the throne behind the throne.

You frown at Naka across the room and shake your head one, slowly. Many are the mistakes of America's armed forces, and letting Japan off the hook was clearly one of them. Pressing your fists together till your knuckles crack, you stride forward, fell and terrible.

Arizona tugs at your shirt from behind; her version of a query.

“I'm taking the bunker oil,” you mutter darkly. “And I'm KEEPING it.”

Naka begins to alarm as you thunder through the cubicles, the glassy-eyed pencil-pushers rising from their stupor to stare as The Admiral strides by - the myth, the chimera, known only to flag-rank fuckers and cryptozoologists. You espy someone hastening to shoot a shakey cameraphone video as you lope past, closing on your quarry.

“S-Settle, this isn't what it looks l-like-”

You step up onto the dais, hands flexing as you loom over the slender bollio occupying the throne.

“H-hey, I didn't-”

You reach out, your big frame blotting out the dim light of the half-assed florescent that should've been replaced four years ago.

“S-SETTLE D-DON'T-”

And then you start shaking the throne as hard as you can.

“SEEeeeEEEEttTTuuuUUUUuuLLLLLeeEEee-” she objects, voice quavering with each violent oscillation of her perch. The heavy reams of cardstock have been superglued together, but they still have some give; the entire thing seems to be shimmying from top to bottom like a belly-dancer, forcing her to splay her knees and brace against the thick armrests. Bending down on one knee, you slip your hand under one corner of the monstrously heavy thing - and lift. Your back and arms burn as you tighten your core and really get into it - and the throne begins to tilt.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?” she yowls.

“SCAT!” you shout as the throne tilts past forty-five degrees, and you start to shake it energetically. “OFF! GO!”
>>
>>
>>1102804
pillowfort noooo
>>
>>1102780
>
I see that the thread is up to its usual shenanigans. Halo posting this time, despite an attempt at Ace Combat Zero references.

Hey, I tried to shut it down as quick as it came up. Spacebattlers are just naturally adept at derailing everything they touch.
>>1102804
Settle, the fuck are you doing?
At least we have a battleship for backup...
>>
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You see her sightless eyes widen with the stark realization that precedes wrath - she's being shaken off like a cat on a dining room chair. The anger hits about the same time the floor hits her head. Even with her recent spoopification she can't weigh much, and she manages to hit the floor rolling. You drop the throne and watch the mad tumble of limbs and lace as it slowly comes to a stop against a cubby wall.
By the time she's sorted herself out you're settling onto the throne, both hands balanced atop your sword-cane like you've seen in old paintings of kings.

She flops upright into a kneeling position, legs splayed and safely concealed by the sprawl of her traffic-cone skirt. She's giving you a rather narrow look; like a recently-wettened cat perching atop the dresser as it sizes you up for future counterattack. It takes you a second to remember - the spooky abyssal thing, of course; she can only see through the eyes of the person closest to her. Which means she got a live-feed of your roaming Male Gaze-

- you smile at her, pluck her shutter shades off the floor where they fell from her face, and don them with a flourish.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” you announce calmly. “Your Admiral has arrived.”

“And so fast, too,” Naka purrs dangerously, leaning forward on her hands, which are pressed together in front of her, pinning her skirt down safely over her knees. “So much for all that physical therapy, huh?”

You recline in the throne, the cardstock-and-paper construction surprisingly comfortable - compared to the average office chair purchased by the US Government, that is. Arizona's caught up now. She reaches down to help Naka up, but the small shipgirl ignores her with the intensity unique to cats and warrant officers. She visibly sighs, and turns to you with a slight tilt of her shoulders and pursing of the lips that asks, what?

“It's just another 'Naka and Settle trade sexual innuendo' episode,” you explain, waving away the entire matter with a lazy twirl of your hand. You're getting into this. You could get used to this, yes.

Arizona's expression drops clean off her face as the words hit, and Naka tilts her chin down a tad - you can almost see a tail swishing to and fro with metronomic malice. “Always with your mind in the gutter, Admiral. Some of us have better things to do than chase tail all over the base.”

“I chase tail?” you say in elevated tones of abused innocence.

“Point,” she almost growls, “the tail chases you these d-”
>>
>>1102804
And planefag was never seen again. All that was found were craters consistent with the explosion of 140mm HE shells...
>>
>>1102840
>>1102830
>>
>>1102513
Dad's in politics. Let him talk about how great Elizabeth and Caroline are, leave me out of this shit. Last fucking thing I want to be fucking doing is helping his political aspirations by playing fucking hero.
>>
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She freezes - and turns, slowly, to look up at Arizona, who's favoring her with the sweetest, most inviting smile you've ever seen. In old Western movies, when one gunslinger wanted to shine another on, he had two options - the death glare, or the insulting, belittling smile. Arizona has somehow combined both techniques into one pleasant, heart-achingly beautiful smile that slices clean through your heart like a cold scalpel.

Naka stares into the pretty blue eyes of terror -

“DAYS,” she spits out defiantly, and crosses her arms as she closes her eyes, secure in the value of her sacrifice. Instead of smacking her, Arizona reaches down, ready to hoist her aloft by the scruff of her neck-

“If you're gonna look at that,” Naka says sourly, “you'd get a better angle from over here.”

Arizona freezes mid-lean - then snaps around to glare at you suspiciously. A faint surresation goes through the room as the little poggies in their cubicles turn to their keyboards and phones, IMs flying so thick through the network you hear the fan on the server kick on in the corner. Arizona knows about Naka's eyes, but all they can do is speculate madly: what did she mean by this? The slender redhead draws herself up to her full, unimpressive height, and crosses her arms over her chest sternly in a pose you recognize from your younger days; the face of an Admiral who's really, really eager to see how you squirm your way out of this one.

“I saw her panties,” you say by way of explanation.

You can almost hear an audible spate of popping sounds as heads poke up from the cubicles; the entire damn colony now sniffing the air eagerly. Arizona seems to have frozen in place, her eyes chilling from the cornflower blue of a warm summer sky to the icy pools of a Minnesota fall. Naka, however, just tilts her chin down another millimeter, a few stray strands of hair falling across her face. You can feel the heat of her killing intent from across the room and brace for impact - she's about to demonstrate the power of her fully-operational bolliobantz.

“What panties?” she asks, and somehow, impossibly - she sounds innocent.

>REACTION!?
>>
>>1102790
Fine. No more, no less.

Now, the story.

>>1102825
Point taken.

>>1102830
... Naka seems more perturbed than ever.

And looking for conflict.
>>
>>1102857
intense squinting
>>
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>>1102830
>“Point,” she almost growls, “the tail chases you these d-”
Savage as usual eh

>>1102853
>Elizabeth and Caroline
I have questions.

>>1102857
OH FFS JUST BLOODY GIT, YOU BOLLIO. I HAVE ACTUAL ADMIRAL THINGS TO DO, HERE.
>>
>>1102857
>Well, that, or I saw the gaping abyss.
>>
>>1102857
>>REACTION!?
"Well, if you want to admit that you're the one torpedoing Harder, that's fine, but I was trying to save you the embarrassment."
>>
>>1101848

ALSO, THIS IMAGE IS THE BEST FUCKING THING ON EARTH. I HAVE NEEDED THIS GOD DAMNED IMAGE FOR SO LONG, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW MUCH I HAVE NEEDED IT. IT EVEN HAS THE STICK FIGURE FROG. IT'S A WORK OF FUCKING ART. THANK GOD. THERE ARE HEROES LEFT IN MAN
>>
>>1102888
This!
>>
>>1102857
"... Have you been sneaking in quickies with the manlet on this thing?"
>>
>>1102875
NAME THREE.
>>
>>1102857
PANIC PANIC NOW
>>
>>1102875

My sisters.
>>
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>>1102857
>>
>>1102857
"The ones with Dorito dust on them."
>>
>>1102857
[x] Scream like a Japanese schoolgirl and whine that you're ruined for marriage
>>
>>1102857
... I have honestly no idea how to respond to that but a deadpan stare of utter indifference.

>>1102888
Or this, redirection is a fine verbal dueling technique.
>>
>>1102857
THIS
>>1102888
>>
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>>1102857
[x] "Is that... Cheetoh dust?"
>>
>>1101197
I'm going to burst your bubble a bit; that particular fighter wasn't captured by the 83rd. It's a 109 G-6/Trop captured in Tunisia in 1943. It was disassembled and shipped back to the US for testing - that photo was take during tests at Wright Field in Ohio.
>>
>>1102857

This >>1102918
>>
>>1102857
>Guess I wasn't looking too hard, then
>>
>"Exactly"
>>
>>1102904
Your sisters names are Elizabeth and Caroline and your last name is Beauregard?
Could you possibly be anymore Old South?
>>
>>1102857

>>Naka, Naka, darling, must you be so... indelicate? If you weren't wearing anything, we'd have seen nice, flashy steel. No steel, yes cloth. Don't pretend you put makeup down there- imagine the problems that would give poor Harder!
>>
>>1102853
>his dad's a congresscritter
oh
oh this explains fucking everything
Fallujah, where Hate lost his squad
the need to get the fuck away from everything
the fucking death wish
fucking everything
>>1102888
Locking in choice for this.
>[x] "Well, if you want to admit that you're the one torpedoing Harder, that's fine, but I was trying to save you the embarrassment."
even if it's obvious
>>1102904
So when are they coming to FAY to meet your new adopted sisters and daughters?
>>
>>1102899
1. Messing with Staff
2. Reminding staff that they will never feel the pleasure of being admiral'd inside
3. Eat donuts while browsing through reports and recommendations

>>1102904
>My sisters.
Well that explains why you're pretty used with Yams in the same room as you.
>>
>>1102929
Hey, at least he ditched the accent.
>>
>>1102930
I don't think we saw Naka below the waterline.

Although... PF, Arizona wore lacy blue panties the last time we saw them. What gives?
>>
>>1102929
Add a couple jr's behind his name.
>>
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>>1102899
>>
I vote for the one about torpedoing harder
>>
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>>1102857
>REACTION!?
pretty much pic related
>>
>>1102857
>>1102909
>>1102918
>"Is that... [Cheeto/dorito] dust?"
>>
>>1102921
They still captured one and convinced someone to fly it. They were mad men and the greatest looters around.
>>
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>>1102935
>Beat of the Rising Sun
>Not Breasts of the Rising Sun
>>
>>1102940
I dunno, I'd be more terrified of a Marine with a southern drawl than one without.

Only by a fraction, though.
>>
>>1102857
>>REACTION!?
"You know the ones handle buns"
>>
>>1102943
Lacy? I thought they were plain cloth.

>>1102946
Me in a nutshell, really.
>>
>>1102964
... Why?
>>
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>>1102929
Easy. Incest and Kissing cousins, with sweet tea involved in the sex.
>>
>>1102966
>Lacy? I thought they were plain cloth.
It's been a while. I know they were blue though.
>>
>>1102929
Not my fucking idea, trust me. Dad's old money, Mom is too. At least the grandparents were cool, when they were fucking alive.

>>1102934
Not congress. And I wouldn't mind seeing Caroline again, she's cool, and her husband's tolerable for a fucking hipster.

>>1102964
Too many years around too many other accents.
>>
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>>1102961
Bro do you even drift
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsbOOPkmEGw
>>
>>1102857
"Well if they weren't panties, I can only assume you haven't shaved since you were launched in '25."
>>
>>1102973
Have you tried typing with an accent so think it doesn't sound like English anymore?
>>
>>1102943

I don't either, but this make us look smart instead of witty. We can trade quips all day, but cold logic is what these guys handle all day. Let them and Ari realize you're being smart, and it undercuts the Bolio's power.

Also, it reduces Arizona's urge to let into someone with her secondaries. That's always good.
>>
>>1102972
>"You got a purty mouth..."
>>
>>1102960
Allegedly. I've been looking into this since it was mentioned here and i've found exactly zero references to the 83rd nicking a 109 and flying it beyond that one Reddit post.
>>
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>>1102940
>that time he developed a Canadian accent and kept up the Saskatchewan bullshit until I had Julie start doing a Jamacian accent every time she picked up the 1MC
>>
>>1102964
>I'd be more terrified of a Marine with a southern drawl than one without.
The 18" manpack rifle is just a bonus.
...
>>1102976
HEY HATE
YOU GOING TO MAKE ONE FROM SUSHI'S GUNS TOO?
>Not congress
...Then what? City mayor?
>>
>>1102979

This works too.
>>
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I think the one about torpedoing harder would be more embarrassing for Harder, not Naka.

So...
>>1102857
>[x] "Is that... Cheeto dust?"
>>
I mean honestly we charged into this exchange of bants half-cocked to begin with
>>
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>>1102979
>"Well if they weren't panties, I can only assume you haven't shaved since you were launched in '25."
>>
>>1102945
>>1102973
That's the wrong south.
This kind owns a two hundred year old plantation house and they're family name shows up in the local history book.
>>
>>1102985


On its right flank, tenaciously pacing the 2nd mile for mile and fighting all the way, was a wildly assorted collection of vehicles crammed with troops. From the air it bore no resemblance to either an armored or an infantry division. In fact, but for a number of U.S. Army trucks interspersed among its columns, it might easily have been mistaken for a German convoy. Major General Robert C. Macon’s highly individualistic 83rd Infantry Division, the “Rag-Tag Circus,” was going hell-for-leather toward the Elbe in its captured booty. Every enemy unit or town that surrendered or was captured subscribed its quota of rolling stock for the division, usually at gunpoint. Every newly acquired vehicle got a quick coat of olive-green paint and a U.S. star slapped on its side; then it joined the 83rd. The men of the Rag-Tag Circus had even managed to liberate a German airplane and, harder, had found someone to fly it, and it was spreading consternation all over the front. First Sergeant William G. Presnell of the 30th Infantry Division, who had fought all the way from Omaha Beach, knew the silhouette of every Luftwaffe fighter. So when he saw what was obviously a German plane heading in his direction, he yelled “ME-109!” and dived for cover. Puzzled when there was no burst of machine gun fire, he raised his head and stared as the fighter sped away. The plane was painted a blotchy olive-green. On the undersides of the wings were the words “83rd Inf. Div.”

If their compatriots were confused by the 83rd’s vehicles, the Germans were even more so. As the division rushed pell mell toward the Elbe, Major Haley Kohler heard the insistent blowing of a car horn. “This Mercedes came up behind us,” he recalled, “and then began passing everything on the road.” Captain John J. Devenney saw it, too. “The car weaved in and out of our column, going in our direction,” he remembered. As it passed, Devenney was astounded to see that it was a chauffeur driven German staff car with a full load of officers. A burst of machine gun fire stopped the vehicle, and the bewildered Germans were taken prisoner in the middle of what they had supposed to be one of their own columns. The Mercedes, in top condition, received the usual hurried paint job and was immediately put to use.

The Last Battle, by Cornelius Ryan
>>
>>1102980
>>1102999

AND THERE THEY WERE, COVERED IN PISS AND SHIT AND CUM AND SWEAT TEA.
"What do you call this act?" The agent asks them.
AND THEN THE FATHER DUSTS OFF HIS FILTHY SHIRT THAT WAS UP HIS SON'S ASS TEN SECONDS BEFORE AND SAYS.
"The Ante Bellum!"
>>
>>1102983
Okay, I can understand you were... traumatized by that scene, but really?

>>1102987
Now that is a tale that deserves to be told.

>>1102999
Beauregard is a long and storied name.

>>1102979
This is... pretty good.
>>
>>1102995
I'll note that what I wanted to imply is that we could see her torpedo...
>>
>>1102983
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jBF1dcTlcM

Arkansas: "Do you hear... banjos?"
>>1103002
...Holy fuck I love these guys already
no homo of course
>>
>>1102979

Fucking this.
>>
votes

votes are called

what hath I unleashed
>>
I change my vote from torpedoing harder to the one about not shaving from her launch time
>>
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>>1103002
>As it passed, Devenney was astounded to see that it was a chauffeur driven German staff car with a full load of officers. A burst of machine gun fire stopped the vehicle, and the bewildered Germans were taken prisoner in the middle of what they had supposed to be one of their own columns.
>>
>>1103020
The usual, Deme. The usual.
>>
>>1103002
Is that the only reference for the incident? No photographs or corroborating accounts?
>>
Is this canon by the way because it seems Silly as fuck, and further ahead then i remember being
>>
>>1102989
Probably not. Yamato gets weird when it comes up. And he's got an office. I'd rather not get into it. The less I gotta deal with him, the fucking better.
>>
>>1103020
We've been backed up for 6 months.

When the time comes, it comes everywhere.
>>
>>1103039

Did planefag post it? If yes, cannon.
>>
>>1103039
You missed Rebound written by Ghost.
>>
>>1103039
The timeline's already fucked to hell and back, best to just kill and try not to worry about it
>>
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New meme clothes have appeared.
>>
>>1103045
Now, now, that's not directly true.
After all, PF did drop Batlead into SWQ...
>>
>>1103039
Planefag literally said "some nondescript time in the future" in the opening post.
>>
>>1103042

Yamato doesn't like the idea of you handling other ships' weapons?
>>
>>1103077
She won't say, but she doesn't like the idea of me building another weapon from one of her sister's guns.
>>
>>1103002

So while we're talking about THe Last Battle. Here's some more craziness summed up by a poster on a certain forum.

In rereading The Last Battle, The Classic History of the Battle for Berlin I am reminded that at times truth is stranger than fiction. So what battles, engagements, encounters, or general events in history are so absurd or unbelievable that any attempt to immortalize them in film would have them panned or lambasted for being unrealistic?


During the 2nd US Armored Division's drive towards the Elbe they encountered little stiff enemy resistance and bypassed what they could. At the same time the Germans in the area were trying to reconsolidate what mobile units still existed, on occasion these forces would come to blows but naturally as the 2nd Armored was unwilling to stop if they could help it as they drove for Berlin hoping to claim the city and the Germans were attempted to link back up with the main forces and did not want to be isolated they would on occasion NOT stop to exchange blows but instead fight on the move. You therefore have tank commanders firing their submachine guns at German soldiers riding motorcycles who returned fire as best they could each racing to outpace the other. This resulted in some prolonged mobile gunfights as American soldiers in jeeps, trucks, and on tanks traded fire back and forth with German soldiers, both heading down the same roads in the same directions at best possible speeds.


We then have Major Hollingsworth of the 67th US Armored Regiment, at the town of Osterwieck he ran into resistance that was slowing his advance in the form of homeguard. After an encounter with a civilian he learned that the homeguard was putting up such resistance as a result of a small group of SS ensuring they do so. With a sergeant, a radio operator, and a driver the major took a jeep and went wide around the town to come from behind to locate the location of the SS. Upon doing so he dismounted with his two colt .45s and a thomspon submachine gun. Smashing in the door with his shoulder he gunned down one man before beating an SS officer to death with his pistol while his men cleared the house with grenades, thus securing the town.
>>
>>1103065
That was not Batlead. That was some English fucker who would later move to America and become the grandfather of Batlead. For one thing, I'm pretty sure American fighter pilots do not threaten to dance like Welshman.
>>
>>1103088
Hate, you accuse Settle and Bollio of being dense, but you are a neutron star yourself.
>>
Hate is such a navy man it's not gay if it's underway indeed
>>
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>>1103094
>ou therefore have tank commanders firing their submachine guns at German soldiers riding motorcycles who returned fire as best they could each racing to outpace the other. This resulted in some prolonged mobile gunfights as American soldiers in jeeps, trucks, and on tanks traded fire back and forth with German soldiers, both heading down the same roads in the same directions at best possible speeds.
>>
>>1103042
>>1103088
So no dual-wielding/double-barrel 18" manpack rifle... aw.
What are you going to do if Shinano shows up?
>>1103094
>
During the 2nd US Armored Division's drive towards the Elbe they encountered little stiff enemy resistance and bypassed what they could. At the same time the Germans in the area were trying to reconsolidate what mobile units still existed, on occasion these forces would come to blows but naturally as the 2nd Armored was unwilling to stop if they could help it as they drove for Berlin hoping to claim the city and the Germans were attempted to link back up with the main forces and did not want to be isolated they would on occasion NOT stop to exchange blows but instead fight on the move. You therefore have tank commanders firing their submachine guns at German soldiers riding motorcycles who returned fire as best they could each racing to outpace the other. This resulted in some prolonged mobile gunfights as American soldiers in jeeps, trucks, and on tanks traded fire back and forth with German soldiers, both heading down the same roads in the same directions at best possible speeds.

Mad Max: WWII edition
fucking
why is there not a movie
>>
>>1103100
He has to be, for story purposes.
>>
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>>1103094
There's always that one time the American Army fought alongside Wehrmacht soldiers to rescue prisoners from a Medieval castle against the SS near the end of the war.
>>
>>1103100
It ain't like that. I'll fuckin prove it. I'll go ask if she wants to go into town on a date. Straight the fuck up. You sit right the fuck there, asshole. Sick of this shit.
>>
I think hate is gay for settle he is always on his ass about shoukaku and Arizona he probably is jealous
>>
>>1103094
... Much like the tales of Polish soldiers, pilots and sailors, this is a story that deserves to be told.
>>
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>>1103130
>>1103056
No lewding Shiggy!
>>
>>1103094
>>
>>1103145
... I have no idea how this will go. But it promises to be fascinating.
>>
>>1103147
That. That would break the plan.
Please don't ever vote for this!
>>
>>1103094
See, incidents like that, sure. I can totally see happening with only 1 source's worth of recording. Most of the looted tanks/trucks/etc. too.

The Plane, on the other hand, would almost certainly have records show up elsewhere. USAAF records (if it's existence really did "cause consternation all along the front"), for one, and certainly accounts in other memoirs or records. What was in the air over Germany in 1945 was recorded surprisingly meticulously, even stuff that wasn't supposed to be.

The fact that something like that has exactly *one* accounting of it, in a somewhat dramatised account (no offence to Ryan, but his books all are), which seems to have been sourced entirely from soldiers remembering things 20 years later, well... I'm taking it with a hell of a lot of salt.
>>
>>1103042
>southern politician
>old money
>"distant" relationship

I'm guessing state legislator from either Louisiana or the Carolinas.

Probably Louisiana because of P. G. T. Beauregard. It's a long shot, though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._G._T._Beauregard
>>
>>1103172

All I'm going to say is can you prove otherwise?
>>
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>>1103155
She wants to be lewded!
>>
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>>1103145
>fifteen minutes later
>>
>>1103181
Burden of proof is on the one making the claim.

So far there is one source with a lot of room for doubt in favour of it, and the lack of seemingly *any* other sources anywhere ever does not lend it much credence.
>>
I am totally voting for this cause kongou is my dream waifu
>>
>>1103130
SHOULD NOT WANT.
...
GIVE TO HEALTHY CHUUNIBOTE. PROBLEM SOLVED.
>>1103156
>Flying Finns Intensifies
>>
>>1103167
Don't worry. I'm pretty sure Hate is currently putting that possibility to rest.
>>
>>1102349
Kongou why are you using a date plan designed so two guys can date 6+ girls at the same time.
>>
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>>1103167
How would it break the plan? It doesn't concern you or Goto...
>>
>>1103145
>getting this baited

Sasuga anon, we finally hooked the big one
>>
>>1103205
>Kongou why are you using a date plan designed so two guys can date 6+ girls at the same time.
DESS logic?

Or a shipgirl needs more attention than one girl?
>>
>>1103201
>>
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>>1103209
>>1103205
>>1103204
Oooooooh, you have NO idea.
Everything hinges on the Yankeedere playing his cards right and acting as a marine would.

>>1103205
Here's a hint. One of the two guys is a dense block of plutonium.
>>
... she fucking agreed.

I fucking hate all of you fucks.
>>
>>1103241
>One of the two guys is a dense block of plutonium.
I'm pretty sure that both of them are.
>>
>>1103205
What if her plan is to go on 6+ dates with Goto at the same time?
>>
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>>1103250
>>
>>1103250
Of course you do, Hate-san.
>>
>>1103241
Plans hinging on a single act are bad plans, Kongou. You should know that.

>>1103250
However, they can turn out well, if you know the situation precisely enough.
>>
>>1103241
>Oooooooh, you have NO idea.
>Everything hinges on the Yankeedere playing his cards right and acting as a marine would.
Well that's a shit plan, then. Everything holding on that single point? Fucking clean up that lynchpin, get some backup ideas in there.
>>1103250
What were your exact words, Marine?
YOUR. EXACT. WORDS.
>>
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>>1103250
>>
>>1103250
>>1103261
>>1103267
>>1103268

AND THE LYNCHPIN SUCCEEDS!
The plan takes one step forward into motion!
>>
>>1103250
I's almost like we were telling you the truth all of those times we said she wanted to fuck you quadriplegic. Fancy that.
>>
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>>1103250
>hate on a date
>>
>>1103250
And now you're eyes are open. You're welcome.
>>
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>>1103088

Hate, you are killing me here.
>>
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>>1103250

We told you, Marine!

Now get out your Sunday best, cos it looks like you're going out for a night on the town!
>>
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>>1103250

You may hate us, but we're the ones getting you the good times, Marine.
>>
>>1103250
My plan for the two Yankees to get together seems to be going well because u have to be gay for that reaction
>>
>>1103250
hahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
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>>1103250
>>
>>1103274
Well played indeed, Kongou.
>>
>>1103275
>>1103288
>>1103281
>>1103297

HEY
FUCKLEHEADS
IT MIGHT NOT BE ANYTHING ROMANTIC

MARINE
WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER
AND WHAT WAS HER REPLY
EXACT FUCKING WORDS
PHRASING IS ESSENTIAL
>>
>>1103274

So getting Yams to hook up with Hate is really just so you have a clear path to Gotos' office with no secretary present, isn't it?
>>
>>1103274

Kongou, have you considered what your backup plan is if your lattice work of lynchpin successes backfires?
>>
>>1103314
nuke it from orbit, duh
>>
>>1103231

I hate you so much right now because mobile blows chunks and I cannot respond with proper waifu material. Destroyers. Are. Not. For. Lewds.

AND THE SWIMSUITS DO NOTHING!

Thank you basic first aid courses teaching me how to handle attractive and lusty lolis in swimwear...
>>1103274
Yes, Tzeentch.
>>
>>1103309
JUST

LET ME

HAVE THIS
>>
>>1103314
Since when has the IJN ever done such a thing?
>>
>>1103241
Wait so the guys are those two? Shit I thought you weren't okay with sharing.
>>
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>>1103309

This can go either of two ways

>1

It's a truly romantic, dress-up type date with all the wooing and shenanigans you could possibly think of

They cut out after the soup course to go fuck in the handicap restroom stall, though

>2

It's a hang-out type date between two friends that involves beer and karaoke and, ionno, darts? Darts are still cool, right?

They still cut out of a diner early to go fuck in the car, though
>>
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>>1103313
Of course it is. Sadly, this is the result.
>>
>>1103319

You already have a perfectly good sub, Naka. Stop wanting to guard the docs where the Super Yamato will come fourth from.
>>
>>1103314
We all know Kongou's going to die before getting it on with Goto
>>1103318
<
>>1103319
No, you don't get to have shit
not until confirmation that there is indeed some romance going on here
...
YOUR SPOOPY SHIT DON'T WORK ON MEEEEEEEE
>>
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>>1103327
>Anon is as dense as those two block heads
The plan is going to end up in the shitter, isn't it?
Teitoku will end up falling for a girl like his beloved waifu at this rate.
>>
>>1103345

I'm pretty sure Goto has a ground floor office for this precise reason. He's climbed back in the window before.
>>
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When.
>>
>>1103319
You'll have it, and more, if Yams really is that jealous of Hate even thinking of using another girls guns.
>>
>>1103353
... Who is his "beloved waifu"?
>>
>>1103250

How does it feel knowing that saving her sister is probably what sealed the deal on her wanting to ride the Hate train?
>>
>>1103372

Have we ever actually enquired about Goto's marital status?
>>
>>1103352
Thanks.
>>1103353
THAT'S THE PLAN. And if that doesn't work, I'm pretty sure we have a subset of War Plan Red that concerns Dess Removal.
>>1103379
...
No. Now we must!
>>
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>>1103352
Look man, DesDiv 6 may not be for lewds. DesDiv 14 is made for lewds though.
>>
>>1103379

In any of Planefag's writing has he mentioned a ring on Goto's fingers?
>>
>>1103379
planefag's never mentioned a ring, Goto's never mentioned a wife, and even Kongou probably isn't that dense
>>
>>1103362
>You'll have it, and more, if Yams really is that jealous of Hate even thinking of using another girls guns.

She hasn't told him there's feedback when he's so carefully and meticulously oiling the breech, cleaning the rifling and rubbing all the parts after a hard firing session, or how some of the recoil sends a jolt back with every shot.

(Not saying there IS feedback, either.)
>>
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>>1103353

I heard Goto likes dark skinned girls with fluffy white hair.

It's really fortunate that no one with that appearance is on base rig-

...oh wait.
>>
>>1103353
You got me, I am so autistic I can't even figure out what's been up with Arizona in this entire thread.
>>
>>1103379
I agree you can just imagine kongou' face fall if he was
>>
>>1103399
>>1103395

Fair point. It would probably have come up in the closet when he was talking about why he wouldn't bend Kongou over a dess.
>>
>>1103377
>Hate + Yamasushi sandwich
...NO
BAD
DO NOT GO THERE
>>
>>1103394
No. No they're not. They're destroyers. You want a fuzzy line, get some DDG's or the new Duckies.
>>1103399
"That's just an old driving band off a shell, dess! It must be brass- can't be gold! Ahahaha..."
>>
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>>1103352
My destroyer folder is the biggest.
>>
>>1103318
The fuck kinda first aid courses did you go to where they teach that?
>>
>>1103440
Lifeguard?
>>
>>1103440

And are they taking more trainees at the moment?
>>
>>1103394
That's DesDiv17 though.
14 doesn't seem to be documented anywhere I can easily google.
>>
You fix her with the flattest, emptiest, coldest stare you have ever given another soul... drumming your fingers impatiently on the armrest of the paper throne until she catches on and produces her mirror, thrusting at you in the typical warding position. She's even added little garlic bunches to the edges now, the bitch. You stare into your own eyes in the mirror and spend a few fruitless seconds searching for the brilliant turn on the old abyss staring back cliche before abandoning it as far, far too much work. If you wanted to make an honest living you wouldn't have joined the Navy.

“The ones with cheeto dust on them,” you reply smoothly.

You see the flash of shock in her blank eyes as that salvo hits home, but true to form she lands on her feet and springs right back- “... you're supposed to peel the orange before you eat,” Naka says with a sad, slow shake of her head.

You blink. “So that wa- oh. Oh,” you say quiet, horrified realization. “Marines might hit that - after a BLU-82 does.”

Naka blinks.

Arizona blinks.

The room wheezes as dozens of thirsty, scrawny, desk-bound, cave-adapted Petty Officers grind against their cubicle partitions, trying to peer through Naka's skirts with the sheer power of desperation. Bollio babe squirms as she feels their gazes on her skin, palpable and icky in the air. As she and Arizona both produce their smartphones, you recline in your new throne and enjoy the long, low whistle of the falling bomb. You watch the simultaneous transformation as it sweeps over their faces, lit in the glow of their phone screens.

Yes. That. That moment of dawning realization, as horror and hate crystallize into one violent, visceral response -

“Launched in 25, right? Old-growth,” you say with a nod.

Naka “looks” up at you, her mouth hanging open.

“TIIIIIIIIIMBER~” you call gleefully.

She rises from the floor spine-first, like a cat arching its back before a fight. “They did a study on cheeto dust, Admiral. It doesn’t add any flavor, see.” She stalks towards you, abyssal eye flashing with cerulean fire. “But the clean chips they tried did poorly with focus groups. It's just not the same experience if you don't get your fingers dirty.”

You blink. “Uh, so-”

“So even if you spray your Orange, you still need to peel it,” Naka hisses, “which is something Harder knows, and judging from how uptight Arizona is, you don't!” She's getting quite close now, and she seems rather pissed. The staff is leaning against their cubicle partitions, enthralled, all eyes hoping for a conforming glimpse beneath the traffic cone frills when the dynamic, high-kicking ass kicking begins.

[ ] Jesus Christ. Just investigate her claims directly and get to the bottom of it before another Roman legion gets lost in these forest analogies.
[ ] Meh. Arizona's panties are better any day of the week, a